Tumgik
#its either bullshit or i have the worst fucking luck in then universe
potato-dragons · 3 years
Text
Anyone that says "uh huh their jobs out there. Everyone is hiring. Your just not trying hard enough" bs seriously needs to get punch in the throat. It's as simple as that.
2 notes · View notes
taramaclaywasaterf · 2 years
Text
In case anyone wants to know how aggressively, stubbornly, willfully ignorant conservatives are, and how much they'll absolutely refuse to engage with anything outside of white American bullshit, my father has now essentially forced me to watch Squid Game for the third time, but this time in the stupid English dub, simply because he ran out of excuses not to watch it and decided to now go with "oh I heard the English dub is bad, and I don't feel like reading sub titles because I'm lazy as fuck, even though I have closed captioning on 24/7 anyway because I'm deaf as a fucking doorknob but refuse to admit it so I never go to the doctor to get hearing aids SO ITS NOT EVEN LIKE I WOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR THE GODDAMN ACTORS SPEAKING IN KOREAN ANYWAY."
So I told him that if I- someone who is universally known to hate dubs and love subtitles- can make it through the entire show with the English dub on, he'd have to watch it too, because goddamnit I can be stubborn, too!!! .....so, ok, he hasnt ~forced~ me to watch it in English, per se, but this is the fucking hill I'm gonna die on, ok? I'm making him either admit he doesnt wanna watch it simply because its a Korean show and he's a racist piece of shit, or force him to suck it the fuck up and watch it.
He LOVES the Battle Royale trope, by the way. Its one of his favorite genres of books/movies. The literal only goddamn reason he's not watching it is because its South Korean, and I saw him ranting on Facebook about how "The Asians(TM)" are tryna "infiltrate our media" and "recruit and brainwash white American children" with K-pop and media like Squid Game..."BRAINWASH" THE AMERICAN YOUTH TO DO WHAT, FATHER? LISTEN TO OVERLY CUTSEY POP MUSIC? "RECRUIT" US TO DO WHAT? HATE THE RICH? NEWFLASH, ASSHOLE, WE ALREADY DO BOTH THOSE THINGS.
So yeah. This is the hill I'm dying on. I'm watching this fucking show for the third time. I'm suffering through the literal worst English dubbing I've ever heard. And I WILL get this man to watch it. And then I shall sit back and soak in the glory as he comes crawling to me a month from now to admit how good of a goddamn show it is. Until then, wish me luck that my ears wont start bleeding lol
12 notes · View notes
Text
Death Rings Twice || Morgan and Eilidh
TIMING: Current
PARTIES: @braindeacl @mor-beck-more-problems
SUMMARY: While searching for answers, Morgan and Eilidh realize the situation is worse than they realized.
CONTAINS: conversations with dead people
They came and went in waves. The first time, only the first time, Eilidh believed them to be just a part of being a ghost. James had done so many times—go in and out of view like the watts on a bulb. But those changes had been consensual, come upon by his own will, and he never truly left. Not like she had, and did, and still do. Moments of nothingness. Blink and she was gone, truly and ultimately gone. Blink and she was back, not even left with a memory. Just a faint recollection, a faint feeling of a blank. Like trying to recall a blackout. You knew it was there, you felt it too—pages torn from a book. But you also didn’t, couldn’t, for nothingness was all that remained. Nothingness that seemed to be her destination. Those blinks got longer, longer, longer. With no sign of slowing.
Eilidh knew Morgan was facing her own bouts of strangeness. Maybe they were connected. Morgan believed them to be—magic set loose like a wildfire, with them in its path. Consumed in its flames, would it burn them all the way to the ground? Or would they come out the other side, for the better? This curiosity, and a gnawing worry, compelled her forward, right into Morgan’s residence. She ventured through those great and winding halls, as if she already haunted the place. She ought to haunt at least one. Before it became too late. Passing by an open door, that familiar face was finally seen. Eilidh stopped, stared. Felt that nothingness threatening to claim her again. Visage flickered—like a light on its dying breath. But the feeling passed, leaving her there, shining on. The motion, or her very presence, must’ve caused a stir. The two women met each other’s eyes.
“Boo.”
Morgan just needed to find the right book. Zombies had been around for ages and so even if whatever was happening to her was obviously very rare, it must have happened to someone else before. And that someone must have wanted to write it down. Because magic directly affecting a zombie body at all was worth writing about; doing so in this cruel, backwards way defied everything she understood about magic and living matter. So, Morgan sat on the floor in the library, swimming through a large haul from the scriberary, searching. When Macleod appeared behind the volume she was holding, calling boo, Morgan yelped with surprise.
“Oh! Stars! That was--” she laughed uneasily. “That was something alright.” She sat back and looked at the other woman. She had believed everything Macleod had told her but seeing her friend, so wild and earthbound, so connected to her flesh, floating and transparent was uncanny in a way her mind struggled to process. “I wish I had good news on the funky magic boogaloo front, but there’s just lots of dead ends so far. But that can wait. Are you...okay? At least, relative to our situation?
Good-hearted chuckle lept out of Eilidh—breaking the illusion of the spooky ghost in the corner. She closed the distance between the two, eyes curiously scanning the cover and pages of the book nestled in Morgan’s lap. More were strewn across the room, circling Morgan in a protective barrier, or perhaps a tomb—either for future study or determined unsuited. Where one group ended and the other began, she wasn’t sure. Mouth parted to offer assistance, her hands and mind well-versed to such a skill, but the words quickly died just as her flesh had. Wouldn’t be much use when turning a page was a difficult endeavor. She had learned that fact rather quickly.
When attentions were placed on her, Eilidh perked. “Aye. Convinced this guy his cereal was sentient. And some lady she could control plants.” Snort of delight shot out her nose as their faces returned to memory. But as the chuckles faded, so too did this delight. That lingering worry remained. A hand brushed her lips, seemingly in thought. “Also…” In absence of external stimuli, she bit on a knuckle. But where a prick of sensation, a prick of life, would usually awaken her hand, only a mere acknowledgement greeted her. Fucking hell, how has James not gone mad by now? A low growl rumbled, and at least it felt nice in her chest. Familiar. “Been going in and out. Kinda like blinking. If you did that with a soul. James says it isn’t normal. And they’re getting longer.” Another knuckle met her teeth; that same hollow impact replayed. “Guess it’s soon time.” Her eyes scanned Morgan, transferring the focus back to the other woman. Wandering gaze found the darkness under her friend’s eyes. “What ‘bout you?”
For what seemed like a long time, Morgan could only stare at her friend. Or rather, through her friend. She could see every title on the shelf behind her if she concentrated enough, because Macleod, despite speaking and smiling and grinning and mischief-ing as much as she had ever done, was incorporeal and transparent. Like a ghost. A baby undead ghost. Which wasn’t supposed to exist. “..Blinking? What? Uh, that sounds bad. And weird. I’ve never heard of ghosts doing that before. They cross over, and they have some kind of teleportation thing, but they don’t play peek-a-boo with a whole plane of existence. That’s…” Another very strange, logic defying twist of magic.
Morgan cleared her head and tried to answer Macleod’s questions. “I woke up at the beginning of the week able to feel again. All my physical senses that went dull were back. It took some adjusting, but I think it was more or less how they were when I was alive. But then my body started decaying even when I was full, or more than full, and healing was fading and now it’s basically gone! So I’m basically rotting away for no discernable reason, and I get to be super physically aware of all of it. Also, I smell, so maybe it’s a good thing you don’t have any senses right now. When did your stuff start? I mean, none of this should be happening at all, because the undead are immune to spellcasting magic that engages with our body’s energy, as far as I can tell, and we’re immune to most drugs and toxins, and I haven’t found anyone else in town being effected like this, so it’s not the big cosmic town bullshit--but if we can get a timeline, maybe that will tell us...something.” She sighed and closed the book in her lap, staring off into anywhere but Macleod’s face. The whole world was slipping through their fingers, just when she’d thought it really did want them after all.
Curt laugh escaped Eilidh. “Yeah. You’re telling me.” Just her luck to be subjected to the worst game of peek-a-boo in existence. Maybe her soul truly did want to pass over, but this supposed magic was keeping her here? Maybe the universe was trying to remedy the fact she shouldn’t have remained—at least not in this form—but the magic tried to go against the very will of the cosmos? Thoughts followed that tangent until it caused a dizziness. Bah, there’s too many maybes and what-ifs. She snapped a finger, sharp noise bringing her back to the present. Mind focused on Morgan’s words, her own story. As such a tale unfolded, her face fell, allowing that worry bubbling inside to find itself in her eyes, her parted mouth. Just as quickly, her eyes tightened, mouth closed, jaws tightened. Resolve overcame the worry, gave her goal new fire. “Aye. That is real bad.” Especially when it started so promising—the worst kind. “Best we hop to it prompto, then. Know anything I can look over? Double-check? Triple-check?” The ways of magic, the ways others shifted the energies of the world to their will, was not a strong subject of hers. But perhaps there were other pieces of the puzzle her ever inquisitive eyes could find. She needed that hunt, after all. Needed something to do—when all things physical brought boredom at best, her mind frequently rushed into restlessness.
Eilidh recalled the start of this plight. “I died beginning of this week.” The same as Morgan’s own unfortunes; a fact that did not escape her. “Or alchemied this way. Or some other magic.” At this point, she wasn’t sure which was true. Death was more reasonable to her. Familiarity always felt more reasonable, and she was very familiar with death. But Morgan seemed convinced its cause was magically induced and, well, she was the expert in that regard. Not Eilidh. “Blinked out the first time a few days later. Didn’t think too much of it. ‘Til a few more days later when it kept happening.” How much longer would this affliction let her speak with Morgan? Would it rip her away mid-sentence, as it had with Milo? Sharp snap of fingers returned. Temptation to bite the nagging thoughts away surfaced—to subject another knuckle to her teeth. But the snap sufficed. For now.
Morgan sat back, thinking. The town had already been shifted in the cosmos by the time she and Macleod were affected. And no one else she spoke to, dead or undead, was feeling anything strange in their body. So why them? And how? It didn’t seem right that the universe should literally change its rules just to be cruel to them. And if an alchemy break-through was responsible for Macleod, it didn’t explain her progressive deterioration. She would have to be confined to a circle in order for that to be the case, and the energy required to continually re-write her body would be outrageous.
She looked over at Macleod, aching to give her an answer. “I only have a few general compendiums on the stuff, but maybe there’s some kind of sickness, or some kind of critter that can affect people like us. Like, bookwyrms and brain biters mess with people’s brains, and there’s plenty of necrophages out there maybe…” Some magic, universe defying critter happened to chomp on both of them without their noticing on the exact same night? Morgan could hardly stand to hope for the idea, it sounded ridiculous enough in her head. But she had to try. If she stopped trying, this thing would take her. “Maybe there’s one that can explain this. Weird abilities that make people incorporeal or mess with their magic composition. Um, it’s those thick ones back there--” She pointed. “Or you could check out the area, see if anything unusual is sniffing around. Every critter’s gotta eat and sleep somewhere.” She smiled feebly. “We’ll figure this out before it’s too late. We’ve got too much to live for, right?”
“Critters!” The word shot out like a bullet. That was more Eilidh’s forte. A hand returned thoughtfully to her lips, though a bite did not come. Her mind was moving far too fast to focus on anything physical. Feet began to pace without her knowledge, beating against the air as if they contributed to her movements anymore. “Those bees cause hallucinations…” What were they called again? Those dick-hive bees. She had still yet to encounter them personally—such a treat will have to wait when she finally visits… that woman. Knowledge was acquired specifically for said venture, so she really should remember… “Eintykara.” But as research came tumbling back into her mind, so did an issue. “No. Cold.” Such weathers would cause them to grow sluggish—springing into action now would make no sense. “Hm. Caballi?” Her encounter with one had been very brief, but James’ was much more intimate. And she had certainly heard stories that mimicked their own. Of ghosts being attacked by them. Or more accurately, being fed upon by them. Could be the cause of their deterioration, those astral feedings. Perhaps they can affect zombies too? “But never saw…” They weren’t exactly invisible, to people like them. But much of them was left unknown, on this world at least. Could be a special sort?
More ideas flowed into Eilidh’s mind. And just easily flowed back out—conflictions and contradictions found in every sort. Though the universe was vast and wide and full of exceptions. Hardly anything could be said with certainty. And hardly everything was stored in her mind—that vastness refusing to be contained in just one thing. Or even in one world; creatures not found in any book had laid just beyond those cracks in the air. One, or two, or more could’ve slipped through. “You could be onto something.” Her feet stilled, and it was only then she realized she had been on the move at all. But they already missed that constant motion. Focus turned to the mentioned books, causing a chuckle to stir. “Would. But these guys do whatever the hell they want.” She wiggled her fingers and they blended and meddled together, like waves crashing into each other. “I’ll look ‘round. You focus on the books. We’ll see this through.” There was an attempt to turn and leave, but something held her there just a moment longer. Those hints of decay sprinkled on Morgan’s form—some grown worse over the course of their conversation. “Think you’ll manage?” The question spanning far beyond just Morgan’s research capability.
With the way Macleod lit up at the suggestion, Morgan could actually start to believe they were onto something. The world was full of strange things and there was so much they didn’t know. Of course if it wasn’t someone it had to be something. Maybe even a creature from another dimension. Some of the critters in those portals had probably gotten stuck on this side when Adam closed them, too, and maybe that was why they couldn’t understand the rules this infection worked on.
Morgan met Macleod’s eyes bravely. They were looking for a needle in a haystack. It might take weeks to comb through all of White Crest and identify the exact creatures they were looking for, especially if they turned out to be beyond sapient record on this world. But they would figure it out, wouldn’t they?
Somewhere beyond them, bewildered geese flapped their way to the sky and called to each other for safety, snow crunched under tired feet, a wind blew through the hollow tunnels of the world. Morgan took it all in, staring through the frosted windows. This was a world that buried its secrets better than its dead, but it was also one where life persisted in the most bitter cold. If anyone was proof of that, surely it was her and Macleod. And Morgan had a future to get to; Macleod probably did too, and if she didn’t, she deserved to stick around long enough to come up with one. So she had to be okay. There wasn’t room in this scenario for her not to be.
Morgan summoned her best smile and hoped with all she had that Macleod believed it and let some of the warmth rub off on her. “I’ve got this. And so do you. Death cut us a break once, right? Twice should be just as easy.”
That smile filled the air, found its way on Eilidh’s face, lifting her spirits in turn. Hell yeah. They had this. That implication hung in the air, threatened to bring it all back down. The one where she died. This soul she carried certainly had—will again. And technically death had touched her a few days prior. But the implication ran deeper than that, tied her to an assumption she kept getting chained to. But she did not let that weight touch her; only a twitch of a brow, a tighten of lips, betrayed these thoughts. Resolve kept her steady—kept them both just the same. Fate may try to give them a losing hand, but she’ll keep playing until a full house. And if not, well, seems she’s had her time then. Her soul will enjoy more, if these pesky blinks didn’t consume her in totality. For fate was hungry this week—eating away at her very soul, at Morgan’s very flesh. Was it feeding on others? How far did this hunger spread? She had no mind, no time to worry about passerbyers on the street. Those teeth readied to pierce again, steal more of them away. But she’ll try her hand at dentistry and rip them out before all was taken. “Good to hear! Let’s give this a–”
She vanished.
10 notes · View notes
cynwritess · 3 years
Text
My Outlining Technique As A Pantser
I despise outlining with every fiber of my soul. I don’t care how much people persist you need an outline, I will put it off to the very last minute and do it very half-assed. Even in school, its straight to the first draft. Outlining requires a very precise skill of breaking things down as small as possible and my mind simply does not function that way. It’s literally all or nothing. Unfortunately while this may work for writing school essays, it’s not exactly a good idea when it comes to a book. Writing a book requires structure and precision because you need to carefully place information, have an idea where your characters are going, tedious yet necessary things. Fortunately, I’ve come up with a way to outline without completely frying my brain.
Characters. 
I almost always start with the characters first and build the world, other characters, and plot around them. If you have a name in mine, perfect! Go ahead and use it! If you don’t have a name, don’t dread scouring through dozens of baby name websites. Give them a place holder name or better yet, give them a role/title. I’m going to use one of my current characters (steal anything about her and I’ll send demons after you). When I first created Selina I only had a vague aesthetic and the idea that I wanted her to somehow be attached to spirits. Her name didn’t come to me until 25k into the story, but I had to refer to her as something so I used a conjunction of a place holder name and calling her “Reaper of Souls”. This way I know exactly who I’m referring to. Also, this helps me know what path my character needs to go down. Reaper of Souls is who she’ll become, but its definitely not who she is when the story begins. It makes me thing: What steps do I need to take to get her there? This is where you can start brainstorming character arcs and give them trauma. 
Another essential part of creating characters in my opinion is giving them “role models”. Personally, if this is a brand new character I’m creating off the top of my head its hard to write them because I know nothing about them. I don’t know their sense of humor, who they would and wouldn’t get along with, their inner monologue, etc. Now you have to be careful with this and make sure to mold them into their own unique characters at the end of the day, but you can use other already existing characters to help begin the process. When creating Selina I knew vaguely she needed to be connected to spirits. What characters do I know like that? Jodie from Beyond Two Souls is a good one and Zelie is a bit of a different twist to it but still the same general idea. But wait! Selina’s vibe doesn’t match either of them. So in this case I might look at Jude Duarte for inspiration for her personality. Nitpick all your favorite things about different characters and use that to your advantage! It gives you the jolt you need to really begin to explore who your character is. 
Always do the main character first, then follow with the supporting character or villain. In my opinion, the main supporting character and villain should be foils of the main character in order to get the most out of each one, because you’ll be able to see different aspects and different arcs they could’ve/will have. Once you have those three characters you can create the others as you progress with your story.
Setting.
This can either be really simple or your worst fucking nightmare. For me, it’s a mixture of both. If your story is taking place in the real world then this can be relatively simple even if you’re creating your own town/city. If your town has a very specific location like a town square or maybe there’s a river running through it, then just google “towns with a river going through it” for a start. If you have a specific town in mind you can also google the map and start dissecting different aspects of the town and incorporating it into your own. You can even use your own town for inspiration! The town my story takes place in is made up, but my hometown actually resembles it quite a bit so I’ve been using it for references. So far, its been working out pretty good.
Now if you have a high fantasy setting... I wish you the best of luck. I’ve only written one high fantasy story when I was twelve and... well clearly its never seen the light of day for a reason (partially because I deleted it, partially because there was absolutely zero world-building). I’m sorry to say my skills have no improved much since then. I’ve dabbled with the idea of high fantasy worlds and honestly my only advice is to look at other fantasy maps and draw inspiration from that. Narnia, Ravka, the ACOTAR world, the shifting isles of Elfhame, the Avatar universe, Orisha, to name a few. You’ll also have to look at some basic geographical stuff like the climate, but overall you have pretty much free reign over how your world looks. This is the one part I feel like you can’t bullshit if you don’t want your story to seem halfway. Really go in with the details even if its just for you. The more fleshed out your world is, even if its set here in the normal world, the better.
The main issue. 
This is pretty much a given but you do need to have some sort of idea who the main antagonist is/what is the big issue your characters are fighting. If you’re writing a series then chances are book one will probably focus on an entirely different issue before the big one is revealed. There’s not really much advice I can give for this because it’ll be tailored specifically to your story. I don’t think your antagonist has to be fully fleshed out if you’re going to be introducing them very late, but do have a general idea who or what it is, their goal, and why your character feels the need to stop them.
Usually you’ll notice the problem in the beginning of the story isn’t the ultimate problem, its just a gateway to it. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a subplot but I guess technically that’s what it is. Think of Percy Jackson. The main issue of book one is him being accused of stealing the lightning bolt, but the ultimate issue was the war with the titans. Or The Cruel Prince. The main issue was Jude feeling helpless and wanting to create a place for herself in the faery world, but the ultimate issue was those attempting overthrowing the entire Greenbriar family from the thrown. 
This kind of goes without saying, but there has to be a strong motivation for the character to stop them or it just won’t work. You don’t see characters going after the antagonist because nothing in their life isn’t threatened. There’s always a motivation, something to fuel them even if done so reluctantly. For example, Zelie from Children of Blood and Bone was sick and tired of constantly fighting and being the hero, but she did it anyways because she was the only one who could truly help the maji. Or you can take a slightly antagonistic approach and look at Kaz from Six of Crows who did what he did out of greed for money, power, and revenge. Usually when I begin my stories, I only have a vague idea as to why my main character is joining the fight, which is perfectly fine. As long as you have some sort of idea and begin to build on it as you write, you’ll be probably be fine. 
Brainstorm.
I cannot for the life of me sit in front of my computer and write a bland summary of what it is that is going to happen in my book. Sorry, but I am simply not built that way but it also makes writing your books ten times harder as well. I’ve found a bit of a cheat. For one, brainstorm. Get a general idea what some of the main events you want to happen are. Do you want a character death? Does a specific location need to be mentioned? Is there subplots or character arcs you would like to explore? Is there any themes you’d like to explore? Jot them all down, along with your word count goal. You probably won’t be able to incorporate all of them in one book, but at least you’ll have an idea what path you’re going to head down in terms of your story.
And now onto my actual cheat. Because I’m a pantser who hates outlining, I usually jump into my stories without knowing what direction they are going. Recently I’ve discovered that I can outline the first five chapters, write them out, and give myself complete free reign. I’ll explore all sorts of character personalities, different beginnings, different writing styles, different scenarios, different relationships, anything I can realistically include in the first five chapters of my story. Then I’ll go back and edit it. Don’t completely delete anything, always save it in a separate file! I’ll go back and decide which characters are unnecessary at this point, what plot points can be introduced later on, what writing style suits this story, things like that. Then from there, I’ll go back to my outline and make any appropriate changes before proceeding to write the rest of the draft as normal (WITHOUT GOING BACK TO EDIT). The reason why I do this is because I need a solid base to begin my story, otherwise its so easy for me to go off track and begin to tell a completely different story. This way I’ll know exactly what I’m going after, I’ll be able to explore and get to know my characters and setting, and it’s enough chapters that I can even begin to incorporate the main issue at hand. 
8 notes · View notes
letstalksymphogear · 5 years
Text
Symphogear, Ep. 6 (Cont.)
Tumblr media
Hibiki, having seen a horror upon horrors, immediately asks Tsubasa if she’s okay. Tsubasa points out she’s a hospital patient, why would you ask this question, you insensitive prick. Hibiki points to the following scene:
Tumblr media
Now, you may be asking yourself. “How does a formerly comatose person who is now bedridden on an IV drip manage to do this much damage?” Simply put, Tsubasa has a very chaotic aura. She doesn’t even have to take stuff out of her room; the places she goes to just naturally wind up like this. It’s a metaphor for how much of an absolute mess this person is simply by existing.
Tumblr media
“l-look i just- its hard to organize things and- im more of a visual person and-”
Tumblr media
“BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?”
Tumblr media
Hibiki unwittingly gets her revenge on Tsubasa. She doesn’t realize it, but her lecturing Tsubasa on what an absolute mess every facet of her life is could possibly be heralded as her lowest point in the entire series.
No, wait. Thinking about it now, this is her second lowest. We won’t see her lowest until GX comes along.
Tumblr media
“hibiki, every single bone in my body is broken, you dont have to break my pride too”
Hibiki, being an absolute darling, actually picks up Tsubasa’s mess. This is more than she can say about her own messes.
Tumblr media
“haha, miku usually does this for me! wait- wait a minute.”
Tumblr media
“i dont get it. i tried to kill you. i tormented and ignored you. i refused to help you for months. i failed to train you on any facet of combat as your senior. i nearly let you get kidnapped and, failing that, nearly killed myself while making you watch, which ALSO didnt help you not get kidnapped aside from scaring the shit out of that weird lady. why are you... helping me?”
Tumblr media
“because either we’re going to be very good friends or im going to toss you out the window personally!”
Tumblr media
“oh god, that aggression screams kanade. i cant not like her.”
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Absolutely annihilated. Just kick her while she’s down in her Taco Bell spiral of humiliation and self-discovery, Hibiki.
Tumblr media
“it’s okay, tsubasa! you may be a terminal dumbass, but im sure if we all work together, we can share our braincells and become collectively smarter, for each other!”
Tumblr media
“interesting theory. how many ya got?”
Tumblr media
“ZERO!”
They trade the kind of banter two people with 0 brain cells would have and then Tsubasa points out Hibiki is doing a great job in her place.
Tumblr media
“hey hey HEY HOLD THE PHONE IVE LEARNED MY LESSON IM NOT TRYING TO REPLACE YOU OKAY IM NOT YOU, IM JUST HIBIKI, DOING HER JOB, ALRIGHT”
Meanwhile, in the library, Miku is looking at books, as she does what she says she’s gonna do, unlike a certain other person cavorting with cute idols.
Tumblr media
“The Gay Way: How to Get Your Same Sex Relationship Back On Track, by Dr. Lesbe Honest. wow, this one is right up my alley.”
Tumblr media
Okay, I’m gonna be honest with you. I literally forgot they show you the title in this. Imagine my face when I made up that title on the spot only to be hit with this little number. Holy shit, Symphogear. There’s this thing called subtlety. I’m begging you. We get it.
OH, AND IT GETS BETTER, BECAUSE
Tumblr media
THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK IS THE WRITER OF THE SHOW
IT’S LITERALLY GOT HIS NAME ON IT
THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF WRITING A STORY AND THEN INSERTING A BOOK CALLED “LEARN THE PLOT” WRITTEN BY YOU, IN UNIVERSE
KANEKO STOP THIS BALONEY, PLEASE
Tumblr media
AND LIKE FUCKING CLOCKWORK SHE JUST- SHE TURNS HER HEAD AWAY FROM THE BOOK TITLED “THIS IS THE PLOT MOTIF” BY “AUTHOR” AND THEN FUCKING
Tumblr media
SHE CONVENIENTLY LOOKS OVER TO THE DISTANCE
Tumblr media
AND SHE SEES HIBIKI WITH THE HOT IDOL MIKU WAS INTO, THAT THEY WERE BOTH A FAN ON, AND SHE’S JUST CHILLING THERE AND MIKU WAS TOLD HIBIKI’S ON SERIOUS BUSINESS
Tumblr media
AND THE HOSPITAL QUARTERS ARE SOMEHOW CONVENIENTLY CONNECTED TO THE FUCKING LIBRARY ON FULL DISPLAY BECAUSE GOD KNOWS EVERYONE IN A LIBRARY HAS TO WATCH SICK PEOPLE DIE IN REAL TIME
Tumblr media
AND NOW MIKU IS THINKING “OH MY FUCKING GOD IM BEING CHEATED ON” AND HER FEELINGS ARE HURT FOR THIS TOTALLY CONTRIVED FUCKING COINCIDENCE
Tumblr media
AND SHE’S ALL “BOO HOO HOO I’VE BEEN NTR’D! THIS WAS A CUCKING PLOT THIS WHOLE TIME! WOE IS ME!” FUCK YOU. THIS IS THE WORST. THIS IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE WHY WOULD YOU- WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED TO SET THIS UP? THERE’S SO MANY BETTER WAYS TO DO THIS!
Tumblr media
AND SHE’S JUST STARING BACK AT THE BOOK WRITTEN BY THE SAME ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THIS ENTIRE DAMN SCENARIO IN THE FIRST PLACE, AN EVIL GOD MOCKING HIS SUBJECTS IN THE FACE OF SCRUTINY FOR DRAMA WITH THE MOST CLICHE LOVE NOTES IN A GODDAMNED SOAP OPERA
Tumblr media
AND HIBIKI IS NONE
THE
FUCKING
WISER
SYMPHOGEAR SURE IS GREAT, HUH? I SURE DO LOVE SYMPHOGEAR WITH ALLLLLL MY HEART. WHAT A WELL WRITTEN MASTERPIECE! FUCKING BELONGS IN THE FUCKING MOMA!!!!!
Okay. Okay. Let’s get that out of our system. The worst is over. This is the, uh, crescendo of the bad side plot as it inevitably sets itself on the road to resolution. I’m not going to have an aneurysm. My brain is not going to split itself in half. We’re good. I swear, we’re good.
Tumblr media
Tsubasa, meanwhile, wants to understand why Hibiki fights, wrestling with the Da Vinci code that is her own emotions. She points out the fight against the Noise isn’t a game, and it ain’t no comic book bullshit either. It’s real, it’s out there, and it’s not pretty yet easily marketable as cute mascots. And what does our protagonist say? No making it up, she literally says:
Tumblr media
“i dunno”
Not a damn brain cell in her body, but props for keeping it real. I’d likely say the same thing.
Tumblr media
This is the face of someone currently sucking air through their teeth at the raw frustration that someone would be dumb enough to risk their life for the sake of only helping others.
Tumblr media
“listen. im gonna keep it real here. i suck at literally everything. math. social studies. writing. helping people is all i have, because its not a competition. you just... you do it. you dont get better at helping people, you just help. like, thats it. i dunno what else to tell you.”
Tumblr media
Then Hibiki points out that she feels it all started with Kanade saving her, and the speech implies its a ‘pay it forward’ sort of affair. She was saved, and so she should save others. Unfortunately, it comes off more as a guilt complex. “I lived, and I feel bad about that, so I gotta save everyone else” kind of stuff.
Tumblr media
“its my coping mechanism for my countless traumas!”
Tumblr media
“i get it now. you’re just as much of a mess as i am. you just dont show it as much. that kinda thinking’s gonna get you killed.”
Tsubasa then correctly points out that it is a kind of survivor’s guilt, where she wants to be released from the pain of old wounds, completely unaware of the irony of her statement.
Tumblr media
“yeah. i get ya. we’re both wrecks. but... we can be wrecks working together.”
This would be the part where she says I’M SORRY but apparently we just don’t fucking do apologies in Symphogear, huh? Too good for ‘em, eh?! God.
Tumblr media
Then they go outside and talk more about stuff and Durandal. The summation:
Tumblr media
“do you have the capacity to live a life forever kicking ass?”
Tumblr media
“yeah”
Hibiki, coming to terms with how she wants to deal with shit, manages to sharpen (haw) her resolve as to who she is and how she uses her abilities.
Meanwhile...
Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
“i cant believe hibiki is having an affair with an attractive idol popstar. especially my favorite one from their old band. not only is she cheating on me, but she’s cheating on me from one of the five people on my lists id immediately get with if i had the chance. it feels like a double betrayal. a real life one, and a fantasy one... why do i find this weirdly hot...?”
Tumblr media
“HEY NEWCOMER WELCOME TO THE CUCK AND BUCK WHERE WE SELL FRESHLY FRIED CUCKS FOR ONE BUCK, REAL EASY, REAL CHEAP, GOOD OL’ FASHIONED JAPANESE SOULFOOD”
Tumblr media
“ive come to take my throne. i’ll take the ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest” and have the three eggs over easy with the ‘easy sleazy pancakes’”
Tumblr media
“make it an extra lonely helping. this is gonna be a long afternoon.”
Tumblr media
“ahhh. a freshly cucked newcomer coming to the cuck and buck to duck amongst their bad luck run amok, huh?”
Tumblr media
“listen dont sass me about my busy girlfriend with your dr. seuss antics just gimmie the food and lets get this over with”
Tumblr media
“no problem! sorry, they just come easy. it’s hard to buck at the cuck and buck when rhymes you huck make you wanna fu-”
Tumblr media
“FOOD. NOW.”
Miku then ponders about how her feelings may have spiraled from a process of over thinking, or possibly hunger. Maybe both. Maybe Hibiki isn’t cheating on her. Maybe the reasons are more complicated than she knows. She briefly contemplates communication; a futile gesture when it is Hibiki safeguarding a secret she is forced to keep for incredibly stupid reasons.
Tumblr media
“thanks for the food, miss. it really helped sort my feelings out.”
Tumblr media
“no probs, kid. here at the cuck and buck, the only thing we cuck here is... our hearts.”
Meanwhile, Hibiki is still hanging with Tsubasa. Hey, if you’re gonna hang out with a critically acclaimed popstar, might as well squeeze every minute out of it, right?
Tumblr media
“so... taco bell, huh? im surprised you actually like taco bell now. maybe you just like fast food styled psuedo-mexican restraunts? have you tried chipotle?”
Tumblr media
“i... maybe you’re right, actually. i’ve grown to love taco bell, but... maybe i should expand my horizons. kanade did say... singing makes you hungry. maybe thats what she meant. i should take to new life experiences...”
Tumblr media
“yeah! i can take you to all the good fast food places i know!”
Tumblr media
“dont you have a girlfriend?”
Tumblr media
“she can join us! she’s a big fan of you after all!”
Tumblr media
“hey- hey wait! m- more friends? more... more friends... more friends.....”
Tumblr media
“more friends...”
Meanwhile, a crisis develops.
Tumblr media
Chris, having heard the f-word (friendship), is heading immediately to do the exact opposite of this.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
She’s taken some pointers from Tsubasa, t-posing to assert dominance.
Tumblr media
“how the fuck is she even flying”
Tumblr media
“i cant wait to tell hibiki how much i love and appreciate her despite the weird NTR aura surrounding this whole situation”
Tumblr media
“yeah, that’s right! i’m meeting the Gremlin in the park for an asskicking, don’t worry!”
Tumblr media
“oh, speak of the devil! hibiki! i love and appreciate you despite the weird ntr auras!”
Tumblr media
“miku- wait. oh no. i saw this happen in sam reimi’s spiderman 3. im fucked.”
Tumblr media
“YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY, PIDGEON BANGS”
Tumblr media
I know I’ve joked about homewrecking, but this is ridiculous.
Tumblr media
Chris realizes there’s someone else around she may have potentially hurt. This is surprising, given murder is not something she has shyed away from, but she’s slowly climbing that ladder of morality, so cut her some slack for taking it one rung at a time.
Tumblr media
“im losing my girl. losing my grip. now im about to lose my life. this NTR business truly is the worst.”
Tumblr media
Chris has accidentally employed the Dio Brando style of disposing of people, which consists of throwing a vehicle and smashing them until dead.
Tumblr media
“you’ve taken one step too close to my heartstrings, Gremlin, and for that you’re about to understand the full definition of an ass kicking.”
Tumblr media
Hibiki fucking punches the car. Everything is forgiven in this episode for now.
Tumblr media
“i... hibiki... are you... a street fighter character? holy shit. oh my god. hibiki oh my god you’re a street fighter character. thats been the true problem here. you’re a street fighter character now. oh my god. cheating? how could i have thought cheating was involved? you were literally just becoming a straight up superhero! oh my god. the abs! the washboard abs! the signs were all around me! the only thing you went to do behind my back was kick ass!”
Tumblr media
“i’m sorry. i need to go kick ass now.”
Tumblr media
The good news is all that tension just got evaporated. Miku sorta gets the truth now: her girlfriend hasn’t been cheating on her, she’s just been trying to save the local tri-county area from the grips of inter-dimensional alien eldritch entities controlled by a Gremlin and her Mistress. It’s a lot to take in, though.
Tumblr media
These two are about to fight head to head. Last time, Hibiki was but the pupil. Now, she is the Master.
Tumblr media
“can’t touch me, goldie locks. lemme do you a favor and CRACK THAT WHIP!”
Tumblr media
“oh my god hibiki’s gonna fight that weird looking person”
Tumblr media
“naruto running deeper into the woods isn’t gonna stop me from beating your ass senseless, fists for brains”
Tumblr media
“thats because i wanna talk, asshole”
Tumblr media
“wait. wait, what? you... you want to talk? to me?”
Tumblr media
Hibiki proceeds to aggressively describe herself to her. Name, identity, blood type, age, the works. This is because she’s trying to befriend her, because Hibiki feels fighting people is bad, and that talking is more useful than fighting. This is a recipe for suicide, normally, but in this instance...
Tumblr media
“what in the goddamn hell... i... um... nice.. to meet you...?”
Tumblr media
Hibiki deploys a counter-T-Pose to show kinship, feeling that they don’t have to fight like this since they’re not Noise.
Tumblr media
“talk may be cheap but it’ll make kicking your ass all the more easier, nerd”
Chris learns this, in fact, does not make the ass kicking all the more easier. Hibiki’s fresh new moves manage to dodge whip after whip of Chris’s attacks, and it’s really starting to annoy her a lot.
Tumblr media
“pain in the ass. so you learned how to fight, huh? fine. you’ll tire out eventually.”
Tumblr media
“let’s just talk, seriously! or maybe we can bond over board games-”
Tumblr media
“i FUCKING hate board games. the fuck are you, a grandma? just fight already! people cant understand each other anyway!”
Tumblr media
“JUST DIE ALREADY!”
Tumblr media
“i was told to kidnap you. but im exerting a loophole today; no one told me to do it alive”
Tumblr media
“the only kidnapping going down is me, sleeping in on a thursday afternoon forgetting class exists, you neon porcupine. so come at me. can’t kick me ass if you dont come any closer, right?”
Tumblr media
“WITH PLEASURE!”
Tumblr media
“ive watched the entirety of dragonball z, i know exactly how this fight’s gonna go down”
Tumblr media
“finally. looks like i got y- hey, wait, what?”
Tumblr media Tumblr media
“ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY JANKING MY LEG? THIS BITCH IS LITERALLY GOKU? PULLING KAMEHAMEHAS AND SHIT? WHY? god. its me. yukine chris. why do you hate me. why do you drag me through all this shit only to be hit in the head with some real anime baloney. why. please. have some mercy.”
Tumblr media
“i dont know what a goku is but sure, yeah, why not”
Tumblr media
“im going to kill her. oh my god. she doesnt even know who goku is.”
Tumblr media
“get that tentacle shit away from me. im not fucking around anymore. we’re going to have a heart to heart whether you like it or not!”
Tumblr media
“oh shit she found my weakness. really close melee combat.”
Tumblr media
“MADE A FRIENDSHIP GIFT FOR YA. IT’S A FRESHLY MADE KNUCKLE SANDWICH, STRAIGHT FROM THE DELI”
Tumblr media
“OH GOD, PLEASE, NOT MY FACE”
Tumblr media
“REQUEST ACCEPTED, PAL”
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hibiki punched her so hard that she physically destroyed the entire armor Chris was wearing in a single blow.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
“she... she doesnt punch ME like that... i mean, probably because she loves me, but..”
Tumblr media
“did... did she just kill that person...? hibiki...? you, uh... you alright...?”
Tumblr media
38 notes · View notes
bigskydreaming · 5 years
Note
Why did (do?) the Magivians film you with rage?
Racism, homophobia and anti-survivors trifecta. They had an epic case of Bury Your Gays back in S1 where like, their gay character had to kill his new love interest in self-defense after that guy was possessed by the bad guy, and then when he was understandably upset afterwards because they’d made a point to hype this guy up as the first guy he’d ever had real feelings for, his friends were like boohoo get over it, which was like…swell, lol. Oh and then that same character ended up forced into a marriage with a woman for the sake of some fantasy kingdom he didn’t even give a shit about and was all of his friends’ quest way more than it was his, and only then did they decide to have him say a line about how he was mostly gay but was occasionally into women so bi a little bit even though he’d always ID’d as gay before then so it felt like a patch job to cover up the fact that they only belatedly realized oh hey forcing our gay lead into a hetero marriage he doesn’t want to be in is maybe Not A Good Look. 
Oh and I do remember catching a bit of a S2 episode where like, the gay character was throwing an orgy in the palace to make himself feel better for being stuck in fantasy land ruling over a fantasy kingdom he gave no fucks about and was bored and lonely in….only to get chewed out by his wife slash queen (a native inhabitant of fantasy kingdom) about how rapey and coercive that was and an abuse of his power as king because his subjects didn’t feel like they had the option of opting out. Which to be perfectly clear, is an absolutely valid point to make….BUT the fact remains that like, they chose to write in that angle, and they chose to make their gay character the one to learn that Important Lesson About Consent and Power Dynamics….but oh yeah, they ALSO chose to write this particular gay character as forced into oh yeah, a hetero marriage he did not ask for and clearly did not want, for the sake of mystic prophecy bullshit resulting from someone ELSE’S personal quest. And that was just….so…oblivious to me? Its like….ummm….could you not have the Straights educate The Pervy Deviant Gay on Consent Issues WHILST FORCING HIM INTO A HETERO MARRIAGE WITH ONLY HIS EXTREMELY RELUCTANT AND DUBIOUS CONSENT AT BEST??? Hellooooooooooooooo??
Then the racism side of the Awful triangle was like, their only two PoC in the first season (other than the blind black headmaster who was all kinds of Tropey ‘Cryptic and Thus Untrustworthy’ from the way the narrative was framed which, no, stop)….the only other two PoC in the first season and main cast were the girl who just so happened to be set up by the plot as the one revealed to be the ‘traitor’ or whatever who was there at the school under false pretenses and just stealing magic for other hedge witches. Like yes, she was under duress because they were threatening her mom I think? But I mean it was still like super predictable having her be the character that was put in that position and forced to fill that role. And then Penny, the man of color in the main cast, like, again I only watched the first season sporadically because I was like Nope every other episode and just skimmed in the hopes it would get better cuz everyone I knew kept raving about it, but I specifically remember one scene where like Penny was singled out by one of his teachers and told how he was super powerful like way more than any of his peers because he had like wild magic or something…BUT then the teacher went on to basically tell him this was more of a curse than a gift because his own power would eventually burn him out and destroy him or something like that. It was definitely framed as an inevitability, like, just his fate, a natural consequence to being the kind of magician he was innately…super powerful but with a shortened lifespan essentially as a trade off, with no way around that. 
And he was something like a Traveler, able to take himself and his friends between worlds? Which was great and super necessary for the plot but also a big part of what made his magic so destructive for him himself in the long run, so essentially the man of color got set up to be a glorified taxi cab for his white friends aka the LITERAL plot vehicle, with it announced to him very early on in the show that like ‘dont be too happy about how mad powerful you are, cuz its basically just gonna kill you way before all your friends end up biting it, sucks to be you kinda’. Again, this was early on in the show so I don’t know if that changed or they added more context to that later, but just the fact that his character in particular, like Kady’s, just so HAPPENED to be the one singled out for that particular plot niche and accompanying fate, like….that was fucking bogus from the jump.
Oh and also there was that really cool (in that not all sort of way) and totally not at all predictable (in that it totally was sorta way) antiblackness that reared its ugly head the second S2 introduced the oft-mentioned ‘barbarian kingdom’ that bordered Fantasy Land…..because hey guess whether or not the first appearance of more than one black person at a time on the show was when a whole bunch of black people showed up in S2 as oh yeah, you guessed it….the natives of the neighboring BARBARIAN Kingdom. Classy, Magicians. Way classy.
And then the anti-survivors angle of the Triangle of Suck, like, the show fucking HATES ‘bad survivors.’ You know, survivors who don’t embrace forgiveness and tra-la-la their way into the sunset and recovery while weaving daisy chains and leaving all their anger and thoughts of vengeance and retribution behind them in the past? Like, god forbid a survivor fucking HATE the person who hurt them and want to make them pay, which was essentially Julia’s S2 arc I believe? And boy was she fucking punished for that. Shit just got worse and worse for her, and it only got better when she decided to try the Healing Power of Forgiveness! Unlike one of her fellow survivors, raped by the same bastard who hurt her, who was also on the same Vengeance Quest as her, except she got murdered extremely graphically and painfully onscreen in like…narratively framed as a See Kids This Is Why Revenge Is Bad And You Should Not kinda way, that Julia was pretty clearly meant to learn from and Make Different Choices. 
Oh and let’s not forget that the initial antagonist of the series, the dreaded Beast who killed tons of people and was the one who possessed the gay guy that the other gay guy had to kill right after their makeout session in self defense cuz lol why would that be traumatic…yeah, that Beast…..let’s not forget that he was another Bad Survivor, a guy who was molested by one of the series’ Significant Backstory People years and years ago when he was just a kid. And thus he was pretty blatantly a case of Look How Stewing In Your Hate For What Happened To You Instead of Forgetting All Your Worries and Your Strife Will ABSOLUTELY Turn You Into A Literal Monster Who Murders People and Is Evil and Bad And Must Be Slain For the Good of Alllllll the Land.
And there was actually a lot more than just that because Survivors was a definite Thing on the show, with lots of them showing up and established as being survivors in various ways and almost all of them like….being the focus of the series like….perpetual hard on for torture and torturous death scenes for various satellite characters. Like don’t get me wrong, the series pretty much kills people left and right, its just it weirdly just so happens that the first people standing in line to either the left or the right tended to be PoC, women, survivors, gay/bi characters or characters who lucked out and got to be all of the above for the handful of scenes before they met their untimely ‘Wouldn’t Wish It On My Worst Enemy Let Alone On My Or Any Friend of Mine’s Only Representation On This Show’ demise.
Anyway, yeah I hate that show and it dinged all my NOPE alarms hard from day one and I kept checking back in on it over the first season and then a little bit off and on after that in the hopes it had gotten better because I kept fucking hearing all over twitter and tumblr how amazing it was and progressive it was and I’d watch the latest episode, jump up, yank my hair out and screech like a gibbon monkey while speaking in tongues and asking the universe to help explain to me what the fuck was I missing here, where was all this lauded Progressivism I was supposed to be taking away from all the miserable, tortured and murdered  - and also abused, raped and exploited  - PoC and occasional white gays or women tossed in to round out the variety pack??!?! Just did not see it, at all, Error 404 Not Found, Did Not Compute, and then I’d hop back on tumblr and see people raving about the same stuff that just whipped me into a frothing rage and I’d be like I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE WHAT IS GOING ON ARE WE USING THE SAME WORDS OR DO I NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORDS MEAN CORRECTLY OR….
Ugh. Yeah. So like I said….nooooot a fan. And also, fans of the show plz don’t @ me if I got things mixed up there or inaccurately remembered a scene I referenced, I’m not claiming to have perfect recall of a show that was actively pissing me off while I watched it and thus I was kinda TRYING not to pay full attention to. I just know that I definitely got a full helping of racism, homophobia and anti-survivor bullshit in SOME form or another from each and every episode I did watch. I freely admit that like, I’m not necessarily describing or denoting the actual things that pissed me off or registered that way to me, like.. for sure accurately here….again, I haven’t watched the show at all in a couple years and I’m not trying to be like This Is Definitely What Happened In This Scene and This Scene. Its more just one of those things where like, I definitely remember these are reasons I hated the show and I’ve put a lot of effort into NOT thinking about it or remembering it, so this is just how that jumbled mess all came out right now while trying to sort through it all and remember specific instances of the Triangle of Suck that made me rage so hard. There’s a reason I’ve never gone around actively engaging in Magicians Discourse or encouraging people not to watch it, lol, I don’t claim to be an expert on it or to have taken extensive notes of my Rage Reasons at the time of watching. Just that like….they were definitely there, and this was the general vicinity of the ones I can think of off the top of my head. 
8 notes · View notes
thanatophobix-blog · 5 years
Note
🖊 + all do it coward
Yelling about my OCs // ACCEPTINGRabbit, you are a fool and so am I. I’m just gonna, like… give a headcanon per OC on this blog under the cut.
Achilles - His semblance is called Disconsolate. It makes others able fully feel what he is feeling, from absolute sorrow, blind rage, to pure joy, right down to the last ounce of pain he gets from a paper cut. It can take over other people’s rational thinking processes and make them react as he would, which is often never good (and leads to his death).
Alexus - She doesn’t have any real senses, even if she says its a simulated thing, she has none. She’s a cpu program! HOWEVER, she can still smell charred flesh from when her girlfriend shocked & burned to death. It’s burned into her mind even though her mind can no longer comprehend what a sense is.
Artharrachadh - Doesn’t actually like 7/11 or gas stations, they just give off the vibe he strives for in life. The mystery, the scandals, the robberies. It’s so out in the middle of nowhere that its perfect. Although, thanks to 7/11 he developed an addiction to slushies. Cherry/blue raspberry, for our god of liminal spaces, baby!!
Cas - Her powers have limits. Without her power retaining equipment (essentially, a choker, two bracelets, and two ankles), she would have ripped herself into shreds after a few usages of her powers. Her speed could send her cells into different dimensions, her ‘pyrokinesis’ could set herself on fire since she is not impervious to fire, and if she uses her luck too much, karma returns the favor with brain bleeds.
Cephriel - As angelic as they are, they are more monstrous and demonic than they’d like to admit. They eat sinners alive for nourishment, but it is all for the holy conquest. Plus, the more souls they consume, the stronger they get. The stronger they get, the quicker they can accomplish the holy conquest.
Dolores - She really wanted to get back in touch with her son but she could never find him. She went back to LA looking for him only to find that he’d been adopted and shipped off to Germany. She felt so, so horrible. It’s her fault that he was sent off to a totally abusive household and she lives with that guilt so, so horribly.
Dominique - Has never once acted like a true criminal, more like a robin hood type figure. He doesn’t kill, he doesn’t hurt, he doesn’t do anything like that, the worst he does is steal from the rich and give to the poor. Either through charity donations or through mysterious wads of cash showing up at people’s houses. However, since he steals from the rich and not the poor, that makes him evil for the media.
Eirian - Has never been one for conflict. Avoided school drama all throughout high school (minus his tiff with Lizzie which was created by him being an idiot). Now he’s running from town to town with an eldritch being chasing after him with so many guns in the back seat of his truck its almost fucking criminal. He’s learned, so, so much combat things that it scares him. He’s practically a weapon himself.
Erik - Has the hardest time keeping the ‘we’re all monsters or demons’ secret a secret out of all of Clearfall’s citizens, and he’s the one that made the whole thing happen. Lucky for him, Corey Booker, the human reporter, is kinda dense. Unlucky for Erik, he thinks that Corey is hot shit and would gladly sell him his soul to stay in Clearfall. But, for Corey to stay in Clearfall, he’d have to be turned into either a werewolf or a vampire but he doesn’t want to do that because Erik’s both a wimp and doesn’t wanna hurt
Eva-Marie - In Hell, everyone wears the sign of how their died. People shot have their bullet wounds, knife wounds, the blood loss makes you incredibly lethargic and cold, sickness makes you permanently sick and tired, burning makes you always feel like you’re on fire, and maybe you are! But Eva-Marie doesn’t show signs of her death, or at least, not if you’re not paying attention. She has perfect posture and never lowers her head, the thick choker on her neck is blood red, sometimes she starts choking and coughing up blood. She was killed via beheading, and she takes perfect care to make sure that her head never falls off.
Fane - Has extreme commitment and attachment issues because of how many loved ones he has lost. He couldn’t save… anyone. When one of his last surviving relatives, his great great great great hella fucking great nephew, Lucas, died, he was there. Fane was teaching him how to drive and they got in an accident because Lucas couldn’t take his fucking foot off the gas because he was scared shitless and they got whacked by a semi and Fane has never, ever forgiven himself for that. Or any other of the deaths.
Florian - Is destined to become fully evil, and will thrive in that evil. He was never meant to be a florist, to live and survive off of cuddles on couches and cheap pays for a good job well done. At the end of the day, he has a strong sadistic streak that was never fulfilled as a child. Florian is all smiles and no substance on the inside, and was going to kill himself if he ever had to live another second in that flower shop doing nothing, that’s what the explosion was, an attempt to end it. Now? He’s soft and sweet on  the outside as a cover, and on the inside, he’s ready to seduce your husband and blow up your house.
Fritz - Doesn’t need to sleep and doesn’t sleep. You see, on his home planet, people move so fast that sleeping was essentially something of a social death sentence. Entire empires would rise and fall while one of them was asleep, your wife could start another family and leave you behind because you would be out cold for another millennia. SO! To bypass that, they engineered a serum that would alter their chemical makeup so they’d be constantly producing energy to replace sleep.
Henri - Does not miss being a royal. She knows that the second she gets back, she’ll be forced into an arranged marriage with a guy who a) she will never love because she is a lesbian to every degree and b) she hates anyway, the guy’s a fuckin’ douchebag to every degree. She just wants to stay in NYC with the punk rock and the grunge and the Crownweaver gig with her punk gf, Dex, and never look back.
Jack - Used to be a Team Spectre Admin. Dated Salem for years, was there when the whole team got launched under Salem’s reign. They were really, really into the whole thing too, believed that the world would be better if they could just wipe everyone’s memory clean and start over with the same people, but have everyone listen to a group ‘concerned about their health, their sanity and their well-being’. Eventually realized that it was all bullshit, all of it, shit, bullshit, and that Salem? Asshole! Shit boyfriend, shit person, shit… just shit. Left, went legit, went good.
Julia - Knows everything about you. She has no clairvoyance or telepathy or omniscience or anything like that, but she knows everything about you. She has connections, her connections have connections, she’s met practically everyone in town and if she doesn’t know everything about you when you first meet? You can be sure that she’s going to hunt down someone who at least knows something. She’s incredibly well informed, scarily well informed, and also good at social cues.
Kennedy - Killed a man in university. It was her first kill and by far, her favorite. The rush she felt, the understanding of why people murder for fun, it made her understand. She had a knife on hand, took it out of the restaurant she was eating at just beforehand and completely forgot about it, but she was glad she had it. She gutted him, top of the chest all the way down to the lower stomach, and she hanged him from a fire escape by his own intestines. He was coming onto her and she was not about that life, rest in peace, fucker.
Klaus-Michael - Has a really hard time hiding his job from his father, aka the Spider-Gold job. Yes, his father is in Germany and Klaus-Michael himself is in NYC, however, it is a requirement between the two that they have a video call once a week. He comes home after fighting off an army of bad guys with so many bruises and so many cuts and dings and busted lips and broken bones and casts and oxygen tanks that his dad should be suspicious, especially since his dad is a genius. But, Klaus-Michael always seems to have some sort of excuse tucked up his sleeve.
Liz - Finds Atlantis. She does! With help, she arrives, and, unlike the dis.ney movie, there is no one alive. Skeletons line the streets of the drowned city, the location is crumbling, and she is horrified. The haunted location gives her the creeps the second she is in there, and for good reason, because something  is watching her. Not something living, but machinery, and once it catches up to her, it brands her on her side for the rest of her life. A marking, a warning.
Lizzie - Has slight celestial heritage. Didn’t think Arhkangelskaya was chosen as her last name for a reason? It was! While she doesn’t have archangel blood per say, she has guardian angel blood, and that’s what brings her back (her ghost back) from the dead to look after Eirian’s dumb fucking ass. The guardian angel blood comes from her great grandfather who was her great grandmother’s guardian angel, ever since then, the arhkangelskayas have returned as ghosts to the person they feel needs the most help.
Lori - Is destined to die at the age of twelve. In a way, she feels invincible because who in their right mind would kill a child? She thinks, that, because she’s so young, nobody is gonna raise a finger against her when she walks in to kill them, because she thinks that they don’t think that she’s going to kill them! And then, one day, she realizes that everyone is an assassin and assassins don’t have rules, assassins just want money. And, on that day, that is when she dies.
Lukas - Is not out for anyone but himself and his town. If you die, and it’s his fault, it’s not on his conscience. He’s not here to fix your problems, even though he fixes way too many of them anyway, he’s here to get the money and go. He’s here to get enough cash to either buy enough medicine to last him and his hometown years and years and years, essentially ridding them of their poisoning, or, he is going to use that money to entice scientists to search for a cure. He’s tired of having slag course through his veins, it hurts, more than he likes to admit.
Lux -  Is not impervious to fire. If she emits it from her body, she only does so from her hands for this reason, she’s not some hum.an tor.ch lookin’ chick, she’s completely human to every regard and her powers are created by machines. She can use her powers of vibrating molecules to a frequency on objects that she is not holding that are within close range, but she can also ‘set the air on fire’ (more like oxidation). She doesn’t realise this, but its how she makes her fireballs. The palms of her hands are incredibly scarred.
Madeleine - Killed a man in self defense and nobody will ever, ever know about it. Or, at least, she hopes so. She doesn’t want anybody to find out about it, because she knows that she’d be sent to jail. Sure, it started out as self defense when the main pulled out a gun at her at semi-close range in an alley way after a case where she sent a criminal away for life and she stabbed him through the heart with her rapier. It was when she took the gun and the sword and started going overkill with panic that it became less about self defense and more like making sure that that guy would never come back. She got an old friend with connections to clean the scene.
Marque - Isn’t trying to provide chaos to provide the world with equal opportunity to rise from the ashes and anarchy as a new, better evolved race, he’s doing it so he can control Giratina and take over the Reverse World. If he takes control of the pokemon, then he is also, by default, the master of the Reverse World. If he allows other to live within the other dimension, he will become their leader by default. And, by causing chaos in Kalos, Sinnoh and the other regions, he will have more and more people wanting to move into the Reverse, gaining more and more subjects and more and more power.
Matthew - Will not be able to survive if he ever leaves the Entity’s realms. His body is emaciated beyond what should be humanly possible (not like the hag is, more like he’s 6′4″ and 90lbs) and he’s surviving based on the Entity alone. His blood is complete and utter drugs at this point and he’s fragile. He’s skeletal, but in the same way that b.ane works, the drugs kind of give him a boost? They give him the strength to keep moving, but he will die if all of them ever get out because he was only a little better than this before he got into the realms.
Myles - Is suffering from unknown internal damage thanks to the facial scar that he is unaware of. The deal with this is, the scar pushed the outer layer of metal inward and, while it hasn’t damaged any of his inner workings yet, if anything happens to his face… welp! A good hit to the cheek, falling head first, anything like that will push the sharp metal further inward and damage his internal wiring. This could potentially be fatal depending on how hard the hit is, or how many times he gets hit. He is very stunned after a good head injury.
Ollie - Is a little hypocrite His whole episode is about the importance of not doing drugs, but in itself, the episode really leans towards how ‘some drugs are good’. Big companies will gladly sponsor a tv show into corrupting the minds of children to think that certain drugs are alright to take by hiding information about them, just like the tobacco industry in the past with cigarettes. Ollie, the pill bottle filled with prescription drugs, may say that some are bad, but he himself offers the pills he contains to the members of the show, getting them addicted, like a fucking hypocrite.
Richard - Wants to move onto news reporting on television, but is held back by Thomas. Their personalities are incredibly similar thanks to the method of their creation, but Richard’s has always been a little bit louder and more personable and much, much more suited for news reporting. He’s always taken to celebrity incidents more, so he’d be suited for something like…. eta.lk or en.tertainment toni.ght. Plus, wouldn’t it be fun to report a death on tv that you caused?
Salem - Does not understand that he is in the wrong. Like, you know how some villains understand that to do some good things, you need to break a few eggs? And they deal with that guilt?? LIke uh, shit, like Negan had guilt on cheating on his wife and all that, like they can realize that they’ve done bad shit? Salem is so insecure that he projects all guilt and anger and anything wrong onto other people. World falling apart? People losing their families to memory loss? Not his fault, all yours.
Shae - Never wanted to be the hero. She’s watched too many superhero movies to see how it all turns out. Metr.oman? From Meg.amind? Yeah, she doesn’t wanna turn out like that, but she knows that she’ll burnout from all the people saving and all the heroics and that one day she might just have to kill her best friend so as sunshine-y as she is she’s always dealing with this black cloud that hangs over her head and heart and it hurts her that the world is always so in danger and she can only do so much. She wants to have a break.
Sinclair - Has never lived for himself. He only ever helps others. When Jack disappeared, he took it upon himself to defeat the Team Spectre residing within the League. He took over so that people could still experience the League even though he didn’t actually technically become the champion. After all that happens, he leaves to go help others because he has nothing else to live for, he doesn’t know what to do but help. Even as a child, he poured himself into others rather than building himself up.
The Boys - Used to travel the world to sate their hunger before fully settling in their new home, a now dead, formerly economically booming, rural town that still sees some people coming in. When they travelled, they were not known as the boys, more as The Figure, as they did not hivemind as much. It is only thanks to their new setting where they take place in the high school like to eat teenagers that they hivemind as seven different boys (the most they can manage with having separate personalities and appearances while still being connected).
Thomas - Once tried to have a family outside out of Richard without Richard knowing to see what it was like. They aren’t connected other than their purpose, so they share no hivemind, just basic personality. He soon realised that a family would not be for someone like him, as they would always die before him, leading him to fake his death so it’d make human sense. He lost track of where his descendants are now, however, he doesn’t care because he’s dependant on Richard.
Virgil - In Agents of Mayhem, Virgil becomes M. Squelette, the title gained when becoming the leader of the Ivory Skeletons. Either way, his Saints Row verse, he still was a member of that gang, but he left the gang life there to move to Stilwater and then got rescooped into it. He has a lot of Saints ink, the fleur de lis and all that shit, one on his neck, y’know. However, he has a piece of Skeletons ink that he refuses to blot out because its… really nice. Like the tattoo artist obviously worked really hard on it and as loyal as he is to the Saints, he also has a large respect for the arts so there is no way in hell he’ll blot out something so nice looking. Besides, he can just pass it off as something he got when he was drunk considering that he never talks about his time as a Skeleton to anyone.
Woodland - Learned how to ‘speak English’ thanks to the dying screams of the people she killed and ate alive. Some people would try and bargain with her, others would just string together a stream of ‘shit’s and ‘no’s. Of course, this doesn’t help when learning English, as you only learn certain words and all their connotations are fucked and disjointed. She tries her best though. Also, she doesn’t actually have a name. Woodland is just a term.
Xander - Found out that he was a god when he didn’t die when he should have. By all means, he should have died. He was in a car accident with some sorta not really friends (all his other friends were in the other car, thank gods) and all the other ones died horrifically. Someone got flung out the windshield and into a tree, someone stepped out of the crash and got hit by a passing truck, when the car caught on fire, two people were stuck inside. Only Xander lived, but he was in a hospital with wounds that should have never healed, but they did. He then got a message from his fathers telling him about his true parentage.
1 note · View note
therealkn · 5 years
Text
David’s Resolution - Day 18
Day 18 (January 18, 2019)
Blade: Trinity (2004)
Tumblr media
“In the movies, Dracula wears a cape, and some old English guy always manages to save the day at the last minute with crosses and holy water. But everybody knows the movies are full of shit. The truth is, it started with Blade, and it ended with him. The rest of us were just along for the ride.”
In 1997, Batman & Robin was released to theaters and... well, a lot of people didn’t like it. In fact, many say it’s one of the worst movies ever made. The first part is true as it was slammed by critics and audiences upon release and has cultivated a considerable notoriety for its badness; the second part is false because trust me, it is FAR from the worst ever made. If you unironically consider Batman & Robin one of the worst films ever, please tell me what your criteria are for determining whether a film is “one of the worst ever”, because I think that criteria is lacking. But one thing that is for certain about Batman & Robin is that it, along with the failure of Steel that same year, more or less killed DC Comics’ hold in the box office. They struggled for several years with other films until finally seeing success again with 2005′s Batman Begins, which was a critical and commercial success and started Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight Trilogy” of Batman films.
In between those Batman films, however, Marvel Comics decided to take another shot at movies after some... not-so-great films. And we got Blade. Hell yeah.
Telling the stylish and action-packed tale of the half-vampire Blade (Wesley Snipes) who hunts down vampires and does so in the coolest way possible, Blade - released one year after Batman & Robin - was a critical and commercial success, Marvel’s first in the box office. This was impressive not only because it was a comic book movie and people were questioning the viability of the genre after Batman & Robin, but also because it was an R-rated comic book movie featuring a more obscure character instead of someone more well-known to audiences. Blade was a pretty cool, stylish, badass movie and while X-Men and Spider-Man would become bigger and more famous successes, I’d like to think that Blade started Marvel’s new era of superhero movies and influenced their approach to making future films, especially when it came to looking into more obscure properties to adapt to film like the Guardians of the Galaxy.
And then there was Blade II, released in 2002 and directed by my guy Guillermo del Toro. This was a sequel that was even better than the original in practically every way. The villain was cooler and surprisingly sympathetic (not being mean to you, Stephen Dorff, you were great in the first film, but I’m just saying), the story has some neat twists to it, the characters are great and memorable, the action’s exciting and one-ups the sequences in the first movie, and it has Del Toro’s distinctive visual style for days.
And then came Blade: Trinity, which cocked the whole thing up. In order to properly prepare for this film, I watched the other two films (I’ve seen them before, which is why I’m not writing full reviews for them). I had actually tried to watch this years ago but only got as far as the first act because younger David somehow thought it was that bad. That’s the younger David who would have probably disliked watching sex, lies, and videotape.
This movie’s premise is simple: the vampire world has decided that in order to destroy Blade, they hit the Godzilla threshold and awaken Dracula (Dominic Purcell), the very first vampire ever to exist, to help them fight. And this time, Blade’s not doing it alone. Okay, he wasn’t always alone, as he had his mentor Abraham Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) in the other two films and- oh, they kill off Whistler in the first act, wow, that’s some bullshit. Well, now Blade has become part of a group of vampire hunters called the Nightstalkers, and accompanying him is the wisecracking Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds) and Whistler’s daughter Abigail (Jessica Biel). Okay, the stakes are raised - pun unintended, promise - and this is going to be the biggest challenge yet for Blade.
Speaking of Ryan Reynolds... he’s the best thing in this movie ,getting that out there right now. His character, Hannibal King, could best be described as “Deadpool Lite”. He calls his vampire ex a cock-juggling thundercunt, which is one of the greatest insults of all time and that alone makes him great. I can see why some people would find him annoying or grating, but I like to think of it as a dry run for his playing the Merc with a Mouth, which is funny considering that around this time, Reynolds was hearing about the Deadpool character. In fact, after this movie, Reynolds would begin the twelve-year-long journey of bringing DP to the big screen, which would involve playing a character named Wade Wilson in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
I’m sorry, this movie is not great. It’s just a big disappointing letdown. One of the problems with the movie is with Blade. Not the character himself, he’s still pretty cool and Wesley Snipes is great. I mean that this doesn’t feel like his movie. In the other two movies, it was pretty clear he was the guy in charge, especially in Blade II when he made it clear to the vampires he formed a truce with that he was not someone you screw with. But in this one, he just kinda gets shunted off for several other characters. To their credit, Marvel would get better at ensemble films (The Avengers, ‘nuff said), but in this one, it just feels sad. We watched this movie because we want more of Blade. But it feels like they put him in the back seat to focus more on other characters. He’s the title character for fuck’s sake, and yet he feels like he’s a side character in his own movie. Just like what happened with Tom and Jerry...
What doesn’t help either is that the film is one of those “too many things happening for its own good” films. The movie’s got too much going on and it feels confusing. What’s this film about? Is it about Blade fighting Dracula with the Nightstalkers? Is it about the vampire world finally getting the law to crack down on Blade? Is it about the vampire’s plans to completely subjugate the world? It doesn’t seem to know which one it wants to focus on, which really hurts considering that this is supposed to be the biggest threat that the vampire hunters of the world ever faced, and yet Dracula seems like less of a legitimate threat than Deacon Frost in the first movie or the Reaper virus in the second. And it’s not the only third film in a superhero film series to have this problem, as X-Men: The Last Stand had this same problem with too much happening. Again, Marvel at least got better at juggling multiple plotlines in superhero movies with their cinematic universe, so there is that.
There’s a lot of other problems big and small, and a good chunk of them can probably be traced back to Wesley Snipes. The production of this film was pretty screwed up, and a lot of it is due to him. David S. Goyer, who wrote all the Blade films including this one, ended up directing it when no one else wanted to take the job. Snipes was unhappy with Goyer’s decision to direct, and both he and Kris Kristofferson were unhappy with the script, which is probably why Kristofferson’s character is killed off early on. (Reminds me of what they did with RoboCop’s partner in RoboCop 3, another third movie in a series that sucked.) Not only that, but Snipes was hostile to Goyer as well as Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel; at one point, Hannibal King says “He doesn’t like me, does he?”, which was not Hannibal talking about Blade, but Reynolds talking about Snipes. Snipes also apparently refused to leave his trailer for any scenes that didn’t show his face, so his stunt double did a lot of the Blade scenes. His working relationship with Goyer got so bad that he called him a racist several times for no reason and refused to speak to him, communicating only in Post-It notes. The fact that the final film got finished and is... watchable... is pretty impressive.
This film, sadly, killed off the Blade franchise. New Line Cinema’s problems with Wesley Snipes led to them making a short-lived TV show on Spike TV with someone else playing the Daywalker, and then Snipes got sent to prison for tax evasion and the Blade character’s film rights reverted to Marvel during his prison term. He’s been in talks with Marvel Studios to bring the character back, but so far they’ve said they have no plans for the character in the future. Here’s hoping we get more Blade in the future.
I should also mention that the version I saw was the unrated cut, which doesn’t really add more violence or swears or other things cut for an MPAA rating as all the Blade movies were rated R. It has some more plot and character stuff, but that doesn’t help the movie much when compared to the theatrical version. The biggest change is the ending, which includes the infamous shot of Blade’s opening eyes being superimposed over his face when Snipes refused to open his eyes in the scene.
This movie’s a mess, plain and simple. It is without a doubt the weakest film in the Blade trilogy, which sucks because it could have been better. If they had trimmed some of the plotlines and focused more on Blade than his companions, it would have been better. Like Mimic 3, I don’t hate the film, I just find it disappointing with how it could have been better. For what it is, it’s still watchable, but it’s just a muddled mess of a movie. Not sure if I’d recommend it. I’d definitely recommend the other two Blade films.
Also, if any of you are hoping for me to review more Marvel movies as part of this resolution, you may be out of luck, sadly. I’ve seen all the Marvel Cinematic Universe films, as I had to catch up in time for Avengers: Infinity War, as well as all the X-Men films and spinoffs and the 2003 Hulk, which I actually really liked, even more than some MCU films (to which someone will say “it’s okay, you can just say Thor: The Dark World”). ...Although I haven’t seen the Amazing Spider-Man films yet...
Next time: How about a GOOD comic book movie from 1997?
6 notes · View notes
amidalogicdive · 6 years
Text
Misadventures of a Prince and His Glaive
Chapter 6: Hangover Remedy
Rating: Not Rated Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Relationship: Noctis Lucis Caelum/Nyx Ulric Characters: Noctis Lucis Caelum, Nyx Ulric Additional Tags: Microfic, Prompt Fic, NyxNoct Monthly Challenge, Stupidity, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Lovers, Established Relationship, Misadventures, Bad Luck, Betrayal, Halloween, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Hung Over, Drinking, Hangover
Ao3 link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11766387/chapters/29080890
Summary: “Last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who challenged Libs to a drinking contest. You do remember I told you we owned a bar in Galahd?”
“Don’t remind me.”
--
Chapter 6: Hangover Remedy
--
Nyx Hell November Prompt: “I was just saying you look like crap because I love you.”
--
Nyx entered his apartment, trying to stay as quiet as he could so he wouldn't disturb the other occupant. Setting the bag in his hand on the small side table, he made quick work of removing his wet coat and boots before icy orbs glanced towards the bed. The only thing visible was a decent sized lump that took up most of the space and a tuft of black hair on the pillow. It was endearing, and Nyx would have joined him but he was well aware of the reception he would receive. Grabbing the bag once again, he made his way over to the small kitchen and pulled a mug down from the cupboard. The noise must have woken up his boyfriend, coughing echoing through the small room as the blankets shuffled a bit. Keeping his mind on the task at hand, Nyx pulled the container from the bag and poured half of it into the cup. Only then did he make his way over to his sleepy lover. “Good morning, little prince.”
“...so bright.” The words were slurred, a pale hand popping up from under the bedding to rumple his dark hair.
“Yes, that is typically what happens when it's the middle of the day. Rain stopped and the sun's starting to come out.” All he could hear was a pathetic little groan as the hand disappeared, and Nyx couldn't stop the chuckle that fell from his lips. “Don’t worry, it’s late afternoon so it will be going down soon.” The top of his head was the only visible part of him above the blankets. But, he didn't need to see Noctis to know he wasn't doing well. Dark bloodshot eyes popped out and gave him a look of disgust as he sat down on the edge of the bed, disturbing his lover's little cocoon. Setting the cup he’d been carrying on the wooden table beside the bed, Nyx met those eyes. “Wow, you look like crap.”
“You… are the worst boyfriend ever.”
“Oh, am I now?” He kept his voice low, calming. Tanned fingers working to untangle the small amount of dark hair he could see, even as Noctis continued to glare. Moving lower, he soon found one temple and went about rubbing small tender circles, hoping to ease the pain in his lovers head. Noctis could only nod, yet at the same time moved closer to the talented fingers that seemed to know exactly what they needed to do. “Last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who challenged Libs to a drinking contest. You do remember I told you we owned a bar in Galahd?”
“Don’t remind me.” Moaning as hazy memories slowly came back to him, Noctis buried his face in the pillow hoping it would either block the light or suffocate him. At this point, he would be glad to take whichever came first.
“Seems to me you need reminding, dusha.” Lying on the little bit of bed left unclaimed, Nyx continued to massage the princes poor abused head. “I also wasn’t the one who told their worst boyfriend ever to stay out of it.” The glaive wasn't a fool; he knew that Libertus would win. Very few could outdrink the man, and part of him was annoyed that the fellow glaive accepted. But shit happened, and Nyx hadn't expected Noctis to go so far to try and prove himself. What had the royal pain in the ass been trying to prove? Nyx was still trying to sort that one out.
One dark eye came out from its hiding place as the prince glower at the glaive beside him. Though it wasn't so much a glower, as something that wavered somewhere between pure agony and looking like he’d be sick any minute. “You’re the adult, why didn’t you stop me?”
“Well, technically we are both adults,” Hiding his face once again, a grumble came from the pillow, warning him that he didn’t want to finish that sentence. Continuing to caress his head, Nyx dismissed the words he was about to voice. “Noct, you’re my lover. You’re also the Prince.”
“Your point?”
“Technically you have more power than I do, despite me being the elder. Plus, you threatened to toss me in the dungeon, dusha.”
A muffled snort rose from the boyfriend shaped lump that was currently taking up most of the bed. “We don’t even have a dungeon, Nyx.”
“Huh,” Moving a bit closer to his lover, his hand lowered to start rubbing Noct's neck. “well, that's good to know.” A laugh came from the man buried in the blankets, followed by a whimper as he pushed his face deeper into the pillow. “So are you staying mad at me for doing what you asked?”
“Yes!” He snapped, regretting it as a sharp stabbing pain shot behind his eyes. “This is awful, I feel like my insides are trying to kill me. Anyway, you said I looked like crap!”
Ah, the innocence of one who’d never been hungover before. “You’re the one who said we should always be honest with one another, it would show how much we loved each other.”
“Not that honest…”
“Dusha…” A growl was his response as the blanket blob tried to retreat farther away. “Really, are we doing this?” Reaching up to rub his own shoulder, Nyx adjusted himself so he could lean against the wall. “Noctis, come up here.” Nothing. “I was just saying you look like crap because I love you.”
“Bullshit.” Was the muffled response.
While he shouldn't, part of him was finding this whole situation amusing. Well, amusing now that he knew he boyfriend wasn't going to side from alcohol poisoning. That would have been very bad, and Regis would have probably taken his head off. "Fine, stay under there. I guess you don't want what I brought you."
The room fell silent and Nyx waited, he waited because he knew his lover better than Noctis knew himself. The temptation of a gift was an awful thing. Bedding shifted, and half of Noct's head popped into view. "You brought me something?"
“Mm, for the head and stomach. An old Galahdian hangover cure.” That seems to gain some sort of interest as his lover fought to untangle himself from the bedding and move closer to the glaive. “I had Yama-chan make some for you. He was glad to know you were alive, he was a bit worried when I had to carry you away.”
“Oh, I'll have to apologize to him. Um, what’s in it?”
“Nope, I know how picky you are. Just trust me when I said, in this instance, you're better not knowing.” His lover's nose wrinkled up, and Nyx knew that look. It was the look of a man who'd rather die than digest something that was unknown to him. “I'll be honest, it tastes like shit but you will feel a million times better once you drink it.”
Thinking about his options, he realized he had none. Crawling into Nyx lap and nearly plastered himself against the glaive, Noctis tucked his face into the rough scruff of his neck. “Promise?”
“I swear." Grabbing the mug, Nyx let the prince sit up and then handed it over to him. "Both hands; hold it tight and don't spill." Noctis nodded, dark eyes looking at the orangeish-red liquid that had been presented to him. “I know you. Don’t think about it, just down it in one go.” While it was sound advice, he couldn't help but sniff the warm liquid, then gave Nyx a look of disgust. “Trust me.”
“Okay.” One last look of uncertainty was tossed down at the liquid, then he took a deep breath and put the mug to his lips. Swallowing the whole cup as fast as he could, Noctis starts to cough as Nyx took the empty mug from his hands.
For a moment the prince actually looked a bit green, and Nyx wondered if maybe it had been a bit too much for him. Then Noctis took a gasping breath, burying his face in the glaives chest. “Relax, slow deep breaths. You're going to be fine, dusha.” He was trying so hard not to laugh, knowing his poor lover found none of this amusing. Instead, he went back to caressing small circles into the man’s back as he coughed. Once the fit had subsided, Noctis looked back up at him and Nyx could only smile. “Look at that, you have a bit of color back in your cheeks. How do you feel?”
“Like I want to gag. Nyx, that was disgusting.”
Nodding his head in agreement, the glaive cupped his face in his hands. “But how do you feel? How's the head and your stomach.”
Noctis opened his mouth to speak, eyes widening, before blinking a few times. He didn’t feel great, but oddly enough he felt better. The pounding in his head had subsided to an annoying ache, and he didn’t feel like he was about to be torn apart from the inside. “Um, okay. Better. What was that?”
“Ah, Galahdian secret.” Puffing out his cheeks like he was fucking five again, the prince gave him a look and this time Nyx couldn't hold back the laughter. “I can’t tell you. Anyway, you might kill me if you found out. All that matters is you’re feeling better.” Grudgingly, his lover agreed. “Now, what did we learn from all of this?”
“Don’t threaten to throw boyfriends into the dungeon because they might have some magical life-saving hangover cure that tastes like shit?”
“I, wow…” That hadn’t been the answer he was expecting. “I don't even know how to respond to that. Yes, I guess so... But what did we really learn?”
“Don’t challenge a mutant Galahdian who can consume their weight in alcohol to a drinking contest?”
“Um, yes… and never let Lib’s hear you call him that. I don’t know if he’d take it as an insult or a compliment, and I don’t want to deal with the aftermath either way.” Placing a kiss on his lover's forehead, Nyx pulled them both down into the bed pulled before tugging the blankets up higher. “Now get a bit more rest and then I’ll make us some dinner.” Before Noctis could even nod, he was fast asleep in the glaives arms.
18 notes · View notes
chyrstis · 6 years
Text
What comes after
So, this only took over a year to write! Most of that blame’s set on me trying to brush off all of the rust on the old writing gears, but this idea’s given me trouble for a while now, and considering the story it’s a follow up to, I really shouldn’t be surprised.
The morning after's a cold one, but at least she isn't alone for long. Sequel to Follow. Set squarely in SR2.
AO3 link here! And ff.net here!
____________
Drip
Drip
Drip
V shifted on the couch, but didn’t get up. Tucking her head into her arm, she stared at the worn, brown fabric in front of her, and tried to ignore the warmth of the scarf half-tangled around her.
The sound was harder to tune out.
Drip
Drip
Lowering her lashes, she inhaled and exhaled slowly, and waited.
Drip
She started counting the seconds between them too. She didn’t…didn’t touch a single thing in the kitchen last night, did she?
Only put up a standing offer for awful coffee.
Drip
Which Troy seemed set on, and glad to have, even, at least until she-
Drip
Drip
Drip
“Motherfucker,” she muttered, climbing to her feet.
One harsh twist of the faucet handle stopped the trickle of water, and when no other sound rang out, she set her hands on the edge of the sink. The rush of blood that came from hopping up way too fast hit slowly, easing in gradually, leaving V’s head bobbing forward as her body caught up to the rest of her.
Her next inhale and exhale came out ragged. Rough, as her teeth caught on her lower lip. That’s when the shiver ran through her. The thin t-shirt wasn’t even half as good of a substitute for a blanket, but that’s what she had. Only that, the couch, and-
She craned her head towards the living room, searching the couch and the floor. Somewhere on her trek to the kitchen, she’d left the scarf trailing after her, discarded somewhere along the way.
Padding over to it, she gingerly picked it up, and wrapped it around her hands. Somehow the damn thing was still warm, and as her grip tightened on it, she felt the chill running through her start to recede. She’d been warm, so warm, not too long ago. Comfortable, even. But now, as she ran her thumbs over the dark blue knit, she wasn’t sure where she stood.
He was already starting to unwrap it from around his neck, and she froze as he tossed it around hers without a thought, giving one of the ends a simple flip over her shoulder. “Better?”
V pressed her nose into the fabric, and shut her eyes. Imagined the warm press of hands traveling over her body, with Troy’s rough breaths against her neck sending shivers down her back. How his voice sounded, how she sounded, clutching to him, both desperate for the other.
Then she imagined how she felt after. Standing there alone, with water pooling under her feet.
The scarf hit the wall by the door, and she walked away, her jaw clenched tight.
Her hands were covered in suds when the doorbell rang. The sound nearly made the soaped up coffee mug fly out of her hands, and she scrambled to set it down as she listened closely for a knock. A forceful one.
God, she hoped she wouldn’t hear any. Not now. Not with her like…this. Blinking fast, her head fogged up, hands unsteady - whatever the hell this was.
Because if it was him – and with luck, it would be - Gat would know. He wouldn’t know-know, but she could only bullshit her way through so much, before either laughing it off, or running. And the fact that she was dangerously close to doing the latter no matter who came through the door, hurt the longer she considered it.  
The bell went off again, and she started to approach the front. Three knocks rang out, none of them half as hard as Johnny could manage, and she started to relax.
“Boss? Hey, boss, are you there?”
V’s eyebrows flew up, and she froze in place.
“Hello?” There were two knocks this time, slightly louder, but no more urgent.
Forcing herself to move forward, she undid the deadbolt, and pulled the door open enough to give Carlos an incredulous look.
He quickly lowered his hand, caught mid-knock, and stood up straight. He’d tossed a hoodie on over his usual tank and zipped it up to keep some of the cold out. “Hi.”
“Hi, yourself,” she replied, squinting her eyes against the light.
“It’s uh…I tried your phone, but you weren’t picking up.” When she didn’t say anything else, the hopeful look on his face became more bashful. “Which happens, maybe it went dead, or it’s on silent. But I thought you might…maybe you wouldn’t mind breakfast?”
He held up a paper bag.
“You like Apollo’s, right?”
That was when she noticed the coffee. He’d seriously done it. Even after the damn nuclear plant, and her shitty comeback plan.
“I’ll make a fucking Saint out of you even if it kills me.”
A dry, bitter taste crept into her mouth, and she turned away as more of her weight came to rest against the door. “…Hey, Carlos?”
“Yeah?”
“You know you can come inside, right? Instead of just freezing your ass off on my front porch?”
It took a second, but he smiled, and it grew when he saw her start to do the same. “Well, I know now.”
“Good, so seriously,” she said, gesturing him forward. “Get in here, before you do.”
V stepped aside to let Carlos come through the doorway, and felt the bite of the air before shutting it out. Still cold, still a touch more miserable than Stilwater usually was around this time of year, and wished she had a jacket. Hell, a proper set of pants would’ve helped, but she was already making a beeline for the kitchen and the mess in the sink she’d left behind.
“Late night?”
Her thumbs swiped at the suds, smearing them across the FUZZ logo stamped on the mug. “Kinda. They’re usually all late.”
Paper rustled behind her, crinkling as Carlos opened the bag, but she didn’t turn to look. Just traced the letters on the mug over and over until she forced it under the faucet.
“There’s two in here for you. The powdered sugar ones.” Her attention went straight to him, and he swore under his breath. “I touched it for a second. Only one. How you can eat two or three of these without covering everything, I don’t understand.”
A white streak marked the cuff of his hoodie as well as the front of it, and she couldn’t help it. She snorted, and ducked her head back towards the dishes. “That sugar’s a menace, man. Not a glitter-grade menace, but bad enough. And Belly Jelly’s? The absolute worst.”
But they were her favorites. And here he was, standing in her kitchen, practically waving two of them at her when he wasn’t avoiding an excess sugar cloud.
“So,” she said, after a minute, shaking the water off of her hands, “something on your mind?”
The bag crinkled, but no reply came.
“Because after our little toxic waste detour, there really should be.”
Carlos sighed, but didn’t shy away from her gaze when she twisted around to look at him. “...You’re not wrong.”
“But what?”
“But I’m not here for that. There’s something going on over by the university. Lots of red trucks have been tearing the grounds up, and even running people down if they don’t watch where they’re going.”
“Sure they aren’t just giving the Samedi shit?”
“There’s that, but I think they’re there for the drugs.”
V’s brows drew together. “Drugs?”
“They’ve been making drugs in a lab by the campus for over a year now, down in Sommerset, undercutting any profits the Samedi are making off of the Loa Dust. And now that we’ve run most of the Samedi off, there’s no one left to slow them down.”
“The hell did you hear that from?”
He shrugged in response, but the excitement in his eyes couldn’t be missed. “You wanted a break, right?”
She couldn’t deny it. Or the eager feeling welling up in her chest. That that was able to cut through the haze was a miracle in and of itself, and she clung to it fiercely.
“Fucking A. Let me…I’m getting on some damn pants.” Her hand shot up as she passed him, and pointed right at him. “Don’t go anywhere.”
Shoving the door to her bedroom open, she didn’t bother to close it behind her. Just focused on grabbing for anything resembling a pair of jeans, and slipped on the nearest bra she could find. Her sunglasses followed shortly after, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she slipped the rounded frames on.
Her phone blinked from its position on her nightstand, and when she picked it up, she noticed four missed calls. Two were from Carlos. The fourth was from Johnny – which validated her fears from earlier, though it didn’t seem to be an emergency.
The third came from a number that by now she knew well. Had it nearly memorized, from the odd little place she kept it tucked in her contacts.
Strange. Looking at the blinking message and number now, she almost felt relieved. Pissed, yes. Dejected and lonely, yes, but he’d actually fucking called her.
“Fucking A,” she muttered to herself. “The fuck is wrong with you?”
She pressed an unsteady hand to her mouth, and eyed the messages icon. Worked to steady her breathing as her thumb hovered over the phone’s screen.
“Uh, you good?”
She jumped, nearly losing her grip on the thing, and she shoved the phone in her pocket. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m best I’m looking to be. Just fishing around for a decent pair of pants,” she said, striding out with a smile pasted on her face. “Why?”
“It’s cold out. Maybe you should-“
A blue scarf hung from his open hand as Carlos held it out to her, part of it nearly trailing on the floor by his feet. She yanked it away, her hand gripping it tight enough to hurt, and tossed it towards the couch.
“Not that cold. Come on,” she said, jerking her head towards the door. “A party like that’s not gonna crash itself.”
When Carlos mentioned red, he meant red.
Sommerset’s entire area was red, inside and out, that fact growing clearer with every truck that passed them by on the road. Not that she expected them to be flying flags high, but the first apartment they rolled up to had two blazing red SUVs parked outside, the tribal patterns dead ringers for their owners.
And the two didn’t waste any time taking down the Brotherhood members left shooting the breeze nearby. Shots rang out, giving them little time to rush up the stairs, and once Carlos singled out the right door, she threw herself against it hard enough to slam it open. Maybe a little harder than intended, but the solid crack of it against the Brotherhood behind it was too damn satisfying to deny.
This was action. This had adrenaline running hot through her veins, burning hotter and hotter with every motion, and she reveled in it.
Carlos stuck close to her back, pushing past her when it became clear that the others were going to start firing, and didn’t hesitate. He fired right at those wearing red and black, giving V only a handful of seconds to contribute herself.
Bang
Bang
Bang
Her teeth were clenched tight, her sunglasses digging into the bridge of her nose, and she briefly cursed the weird orange tint coloring everything. Only two people were left, the two wearing ratty college tees, and not a lick of the Brotherhood’s usual regalia. Their arms shot up when the dust settled, both of them looking close to pissing their pants if they hadn’t already.
V didn’t even get a chance to open her mouth before Carlos approached the two, his gun raised. “Where’s the dust?”
“I don’t-we were just-“
“You think we have the time to fuck around with you here? That she does?”
V’s eyes cut to him, then the two people left quivering in place. Sure, her eyes were covered by her sunglasses, but they were aimed right at them, and they knew it. That did not seem to reassure them at all.
“It’s…it’s a few blocks from here,” the woman replied, quickly, “just head east. Uh, shit. There’s a drop at an apartment east, and another one closer.”
“One, or two?”
“T-two.”
“You positive?” V asked, speaking up. “Cause your memory’s not looking too sharp right now if you ask me.”
“Yes! Yes, there’s two. One to the east closer to campus, and one…one a few streets north. Just, just follow the trucks! They always hang around outside. No one sees them there and actually tries messing with them. Most of the time.”
Carlos looked back at her, but kept his gun trained on them. Her signal was needed here, and he wasn’t going to let up until she confirmed it. When she nodded, he exhaled slowly.
“Look at that? You both got a free pass today, but you find yourself here paying for Brotherhood shit again, and we won’t stop to ask. Got it?” They stared right at him until he snapped, “You got it?”
They traded a look and ran for the door, not even bothering to look back.
V let out a low whistle. “You good?”
Her first guess would’ve been a solid ‘No.’ Tension ran through the set of Carlos’s shoulders, and he angled his head towards the bodies on the floor. “Better than them.”
“True. Lucky for us, they can’t aim worth shit. But you? Are you good?”
He closed his eyes, still looking as serious as she’d ever seen him, and let out a long breath. “Yeah.”
She turned and started heading towards the door. “Good, because now we’ve gotta find our way to apartment number-oh, fuck!”
The Brotherhood recruit bearing down on them was fast, and favored a shotgun, unlike her other friends.
V tried to duck under the edge of the shitty table in the kitchen, only for it to disintegrate under the force of the blast. She couldn’t see Carlos now, but as she skidded across the floor, she shot wildly, hoping she was drawing the majority of the woman’s focus.
One caught the woman’s shoulder, but the shotgun was still trained on her. Still set and ready to tear a hole in her if she couldn’t get up and move.
One shot went into the floor. The second into the cabinets behind her. That one she didn’t completely dodge as she darted behind the couch in the living room, feeling some of the buckshot tear into the side of her thigh. Now, that, got her swearing.
“Boss! V!”
“Get down!” A chunk of the couch disintegrated as she stumbled behind it, and she fell to the floor. Her leg throbbed between the sharp pangs of pain, and she hoped like hell Carlos wouldn’t fare the same. “Yo, asshat! Aim a little fucking lower, why don’t you!”
“You want them to shoot the shit out of you, boss?”
More voices filled the room, drowning out Carlos’s words and she took a few potshots towards the door. Damn Brotherhood backup. When it rained, it poured. A few more shots followed, nearly emptying her magazine, but the final two bullets were wasted, going wide as she slipped off of the ratty velvet fabric of the couch. 
“V!”
Her shoulder smarted as it hit the floor, but not as much as her pride. “Carlos! Stay with me, man, and get into cover dammit!” she ground out, forcing herself back up.
Another shot tore into the cushions, but a yell rang out shortly after. V’s heart pounded, her blood rushing as she searched her person for anything resembling a spare mag.
“…V?”
Her hands stopped going through her pockets. Only her quick breaths could be heard in the room now, and she slowed those down to hear for the voice again.
“Boss?”
She coughed out a laugh against the back of the couch. “Oh, man. You are a fucking champ, you know that? A real rock star.”
“Says you.” Carlos came around the side of the couch seconds later, roughed up, but not bloody. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, most of my blood’s still in my fucking body, thank Jesus, but we need to move. As in, now. As in, as soon as I can drag my ass up off of this floor and away from this goddamn couch,” she said, trying to get up. Only Carlos’s steadying hand kept her from falling over again. “Fucking A.”
“You know I have you, boss. Would’ve crossed to you sooner, but they didn’t want to let up. Just kept on coming right through the damn door.”
Her grip was tight around his hand, and once she was standing she reluctantly let go. Her leg still hurt enough to distract, the blood staining the hell out of her torn jeans, and she turned her attention towards the dull green of the apartment’s curtains. They were thin, but weren’t any of the satin bullshit that fancier places would’ve opted for.
She whipped out her pocket knife, idly aware of Carlos’s eyes on her, and started cutting a strip of the fabric off. It would make an awful bandage, but it was better covered than left bleeding freely. “Is it bad that I was hoping we’d get lucky on this one and have it be the lab?” She watched Carlos shake his head. “Damn process of elimination. Tell me you aren’t out of ammo.”
“Not anymore.” He held up the discarded shotgun. “They’re not going to use these any longer, so why leave them? Think we might need more than three busted-ass rifles to get the rest, though.”
She tied off the knot around her leg and winced. The smarter part of her agreed wholeheartedly. “Yeah, proper backup’s sounding kinda nice around now, isn’t it? Get a few guys on the line and let ‘em know who we’re tangoing with.”
“And bring more guns?”
She flashed him a thumbs-up.  “Always.”
Proper backup consisted of two newly minted Saints slash college students housing nearby, and one slightly older vet that happened to be in the area. It was surreal to see them run over with their colors mixing with that of Stilwater U, but they fell right in as if this wasn’t out of the ordinary.
With two houses left, either of which could be the lab they were hunting for, Carlos proposed splitting up. She wasn’t keen on that plan at all, but as she watched him interact with and direct the others, she decided to step back. It had been his idea to crash the operation after all. It was only fair to see where he’d keep on taking it.
They parted at the bottom of the stairs on the ground floor, and V shot off a quick salute to Carlos before jumping into the passenger side of her Saint’s car. They peeled out just as he tried returning it, doubt shining through only for a second.
She could only force the worry down and keep on going.
With two locations left, and the Brotherhood hurting, it wasn’t a surprise to see a red truck cut across the lanes on the road to tail them. Bullets blew out the rear windshield, and she craned around the passenger side to start trading fire with them. None of the shots were clear, but a lucky swerve into the right lane sent the truck straight into the back of an idling Komodo, leaving them a clear enough path to zip ahead.
The kid she was with tried to keep it steady, but by the time they rolled up to yet more fire, she could see the tremors in his hands.
He’s practically your age and not a fucking kid, she thought, chiding herself, but they’re too young for this shit. All of them. Even-
The Saint whooped when the Brotherhood recruit on the stairs took a hit and fell off of the balcony above.
“Two points! You ready, boss?”
She stood there, silent for close to a minute before raising her borrowed shotgun. “Stick close, champ. This isn’t going to be pretty.”
This time around there was no unnecessary tango indoors. They met most of their resistance right on the balcony, ducking around the doorway as they shot through the windows.
It was a relief. That, and the fact that her green-ish Saint, Kahn, was still kicking and cheerful once all was said and done. What wasn’t, was the fact that this apartment, much like the last, was clear of any and all equipment needed to produce any kinds of drugs at all, let alone Loa Dust.  
She puffed away at a cigarette, caught between irritated and baffled. What were they missing?
There’s a drop at an apartment east, and another one closer-
A drop? Shit. It was coming from elsewhere.
She pulled up Carlos’s number, pacing in place, and waited. “Pick up, Carlos. Pick up!” Smoke clouded her vision as her cigarette dwindled down to ashes, but still nothing. “Fuck!”
“Would you like to leave a message?”
She ran for the stairs. 
“Uh, boss? Where are you…? Hey! Wait!”
Kahn had the keys, so she yelled over her shoulder for him to follow. She kept on calling as she climbed into the passenger seat, and gestured roughly towards the other apartment’s location.
They were on the road when Carlos finally answered. “Things aren’t exactly calm enough to talk over here, boss!”
“No shit!” Gunfire, and lots of it, echoed through the receiver. “What happened?”
“A truck tried to roll up on us while we were pulling up to the apartment, but tore out. It was covered in purple and red shit, but someone starting yelling about protecting it. We took off right after it, and now-“  A sharp screech rang out, and Carlos rattled off a few words to the others in the vehicle before coming back to her. “We’re either going to blow right on through, or crash into the university with the way they’re driving. The truck’s not showing any signs of stopping."
“They mentioned a drop earlier. That’s gotta be the truck holding the dust! Don’t let up, even for a damn second! We’ll be there soon.”
“Soon better be soon! Our fucking tires can’t keep this up!”
The car was pushing as hard as it could, model be damned, and if Kahn put his foot down any harder it’d go straight through the floorboards. They had to catch up. They also needed to find them to begin with, and made a bee-line for the University.
A large purple truck. A large purple and red truck. You’d figure she’d have an affinity for the thing, considering the colors it favored, but even as she shoved her sunglasses up and out of her face, she saw nothing. Only the usual dirt and junk that accumulated on the edges of the street.
As they neared the campus itself, however, a stark black skidmark slashed across the pavement, followed by scattered pieces of metal. There was no sign of a smashed vehicle, or a pair of people standing off to the side nearby screaming at each other over a collision, so maybe, just maybe that was it.
Kahn pulled at the neck of his sweatshirt, and for the first time that day looked nervous. “Boss? Do you hear those horns?”
She listened for them, and sure enough, heard a short string of sounds that could’ve been a car horn. “Good ear. …Is it just me, though, or are they getting louder?”
“They’re getting louder.”
They roared through a light as the sound grew in volume, and Kahn’s grip on the wheel went tight.
“Truck. Truck!”
V slapped at Kahn’s shoulder.
“Kahn! Truck!”
The car spun to the right as he put it into motion, skidding out of the truck’s path as it barreled past them. She watched as the truck disappeared out of sight – smoking heavily – followed by a beat to hell car.
That’s when the full tilt of the spin hit. V wasn’t sure who started yelling, but the two didn’t stop, losing all sense of their location in space until it all came to a crashing stop.
Things fell out of focus for a few seconds, her vision fuzzy as she kept on blinking over and over. Her cigarette was long gone, having flown out of her mouth mid-warning, but she’d light another if she needed it. The center console felt cool under her arms, half of her upper body draped over it, and she dug her fingers into the fabric as she dragged herself up.
“Yo. Yo, uh, K?” Her tongue wet her lips only to taste blood. “You good, man?”
He didn’t answer. She craned her head towards him, only to see him staring ahead, slack-jawed and silent. His nosebleed was bad, but it didn’t look like his nose was broken. Dots of red stood out against the grey of his sweatshirt, and the longer she stared at it, the more it perplexed her.
Her hand gingerly reached up to adjust her sunglasses only to come into contact with the bridge of her nose. That explained the return to glorious technicolor.
She groped for the glasses on the floorboards while addressing Kahn again. “Kahn?” Still nothing. “Come back to me, man. Hey!” This time he snapped awake, looking blearily over at her. “Can you drive?”
He nodded, but that didn’t stop his arms from quaking.
“Kahn! Can you?”
His foot hit the gas, and they roared back into motion. They were more than a few beats behind now, but they’d catch up. At this speed it’d take a minute tops, provided the others were giving them as much shit as she suspected they were.
Sure enough, when the mess ahead came into view again, the truck couldn’t shake the car behind it. It’d sway, it’d cut directly into oncoming traffic, but none of it even phased the car ahead, even as pieces of it rattled, snapped, and broke off in the process.
“Jesus, Carlos,” she laughed, getting her gun out. “The whole thing’s falling apart and he’s still on them like a cheap-ass suit.” She turned to Kahn. “Think you can take us in a little closer?”
He nodded, his entire posture relaxing back into what she saw at the apartments. “I can do closer.”
Closer would help with her aim, which while decent under regular conditions and distances, was completely up for debate while leaning out of a car’s window. She shot for the tires, holding off when Carlos’s car swerved in front of her, and wasn’t sure how many she wasted in the process. The entire surface of the truck was pockmarked by now, but it was something, and as Kahn kept on gunning it, she hoped they’d find a way to pull in front.
Either the tires had to go or the driver did. If she’d been the only one in the car she’d also have tried side-swiping the damn thing; hijacking had been her thing after all, but only when alone.
Her own safety she could handwave. Someone else’s? Non-fucking-negotiable.
Still, Kahn seemed to be reading her mind as he drove in closer and spun the wheel. She ducked back inside, nearly losing her gun in the process, and the impact shook the entire frame of the car.
“Holy hell, man!” He swerved again, and she swore louder. “Hey! Cool it! Just cause I would, doesn’t mean you should-“
The truck cut sharply to the right and Kahn hit the brakes. Planting her boot on the dash, V grabbed for anything that could anchor her short of the actual seat belt, grinding down on her teeth as they screeched to a halt.
Carlos, however, didn’t stop. His car sped after the truck, running it down as it cut through a row of bushes.
V kicked open the car door, stumbling over her own feet in the process, and broke into a run. Pain shot through her leg as a result, but she couldn’t let it slow her down. Kahn was hot on her heels, both of them packing as they ran up on the vehicle to join the others.
It was all over after that.
The driver made a break for it, all but saying “Fuck this” in response to the heat placed upon him. After making sure he was gone, Carlos put in a call to a friend that wouldn’t mind towing this particular truck to a Saints safe house, and the five booked it once it was clear after that. The cops hadn’t found them yet, but after their recent destructive streak they would be searching. Lord knows they would be, and the sooner they were off the street the better.
And she did not need to see blue right now. Not in that degree or dose.
The five piled out of Kahn’s shot-up car at the designated location, still high off of adrenaline, and only when the doors to the mechanic closed behind them, did they really think about what they’d just pulled off. And one confirmation call later – the truck safely stashed at a location far, far away from any traces of Brotherhood activity – she knew for sure.
This was theirs. Their victory. Their next step towards something solid instead of lashing out in the hopes of fucking something up. Anything.
V lit another cigarette, and after fiddling with the ragged bandage around her leg gave everyone within range a small punch to the arm as they settled in. They’d more than earned their colors with the work they put in today, and she was glad to still have them at the end of it.
When she got to Carlos, he was standing over by one of the cars being worked on, looking pensive. She gave him a good old tap on the shoulder, but held out her hand afterwards, palm face up.
“Guess who’s made of certified awesome right now?”
“Did you see our car?” The high-five was a decent one, and left a hint of a sting in its wake. “That’s the real winner.”
“But who kept it running? I might have to ask for some lessons after a show like that.”
He rolled his eyes, but a smile crept through. “Yeah right, boss. With what you used to do? They had a name for it back then.”
“Yeah? Just one?”
“Luis had one. Or two.” His next few words were in Spanish, and her high school credits had no hope of helping her translate that. “Chaos on wheels. Rolling doom. Vehicular despair.”
“Oh, come on.”
“I’m serious. …Maybe not about the last one, but I don’t think there’s much I can do to help.”
She took a long drag off of her cigarette. “I made a career out of crashing myself into shit. Anything you’ve got I’ll gladly take.”
“That’s…” He looked away for a second and cleared his throat. “One thing I’ll say, though.”
“What’s that?”
“Try bigger cars?”
She choked on cigarette smoke as she hiccoughed, and tried like hell not to laugh. That would not help her in the slightest right now. “That’s low.”
“You asked,” he replied, not even trying to shy away from her amused look this time around. “How could that hurt?”
“It’d break my poor heart into a billion pieces. I just can’t do reasonably-sized cars, hon. Goes against everything I stand for. Or sit for.” She wrinkled her nose. “You get the idea.”
They both settled into silence after that. Carlos watched her for a few seconds, before looking past her, and V slid her hands back into the pockets of her hoodie. The half-empty cigarette packet in her pocket crinkled when she wrapped her fingers around it, making her want to draw it out again, but this cigarette was hardly gone, and she was not going to attempt smoking two in front of Carlos.
“Tell me this, though.  Are you going to keep them on?”
Her eyes cut to the others, raising their beers as they celebrated, while sharing their stories with the other Saints gathered inside. Carlos followed her gaze, amused still, but it didn’t take long for his own expression to grow serious.  
“I’m thinking about it.”
“Thinking, or just…?”
“Thinking. Would you?”
“It’s your crew, man. That’s your call, not mine.” V inhaled deeply, angling her head to the side as she exhaled. He didn’t look back at her, not this time, and she pursed her lips. “Meet me outside after?”
“Yeah. I won’t be long.”
She stepped back, keeping herself angled towards him for the first few steps until she had no choice but to turn away.
The pack was empty by the time he made it outside to her. She leaned against the side of an Ant that had seen better days, messing around with her lighter, and flicked at it even when she managed to get a proper spark.
“So, I was thinking, once the truck’s been given a major face-lift, and we’re certain we won’t trash the damn thing, you can decide what we should do with it.”
Carlos came to an immediate stop. “What?”
“Your tip, your call. Seems only fair. You want to keep it distributing in Sommerset? Done. You want to move it to another area? Also done. You want it shut down, or set up somewhere permanent? …Done. Give the order, and I’ll put guys on it asap.”
“If I said to scrap it, you would?”
“What we have now is one less thing that Maero gets to fuck around with. Yeah, we’d lose out on another way to corner more of the drug market, but we salt and burn that shit and their loss is still our gain. Like I said, your call. I’ll trust your judgment there."
He walked up beside her, eyes on the ground as he thought it over, and he shook his head. “We can’t lose that. Not after everything.”
“All right.” She stood up and straightened her posture. “Tell me who you want posted on it, and what product we want to run through it, and we’ll start going over times and locations.”
“Just like that?”
“just like that, but think it over a bit. Yeah, we’re eager, but there’s no need to rush any of this.”
“The hole’s going to fill if we leave a gap too long, though.”
“We can take the time to plan this out. And after the last few things I’ve done, maybe it’s damn near time I, you know, sat my ass down and tried to advocate a means that didn’t involve busting into places and setting it on fire like an asshole.”
“No joke?” Carlos cracked, eying her.
“No joke. I mean, it gets certain points across, but it’s not subtle. Not even remotely. And I don’t, I really don’t want any of you to…” She let the words trail off, and bit at her lip even with her cigarette still in her mouth. “Don’t be a dumbass like me, is what I think I’m trying to say. Please don’t.”
And? What else?
“And Carlos?” she said, speaking up before he could reply. “The other day I said some shit. Really awful shit that didn’t need saying, and you-you didn’t deserve that.”
The joking tilt of his mouth faded into a thin line. “What if I needed it?”
“No one needs that, Carlos. No one.” She wet her lips, and much as she wanted to keep her eyes on her boots, she forced herself to look right at him. “You’ve busted your ass for us – for me – since day one. I can’t ask for any more than that.”
“But I can do better,” he replied. “I should’ve been ever since Maero offered us that deal. It’s been months and we don’t even have a quarter of what the Brotherhood claims is theirs. We’ve hit a few of their places, but it’s not enough-“
“Hey, fuck the Brotherhood, and fuck what I said. I can’t make you into jack-shit. Only you,” she said, pointing at him, “can make you what you want to be. Not what you think you should be, or what others think you should be. What you honestly want to be.”
You. What you want. Not what anyone else wants.
“When I first joined, someone…a lot of people had my back. Even though I kept on rushing in like an idiot, they never stopped trying. Your brother was one of them. And I’m not the best person, or hell, maybe even the right person to offer this, but I wanted and still want you to have that too. Someone that’ll let you know that everything’s okay. That you’re not fucking up as majorly as you keep on thinking you are.”
Carlos didn’t look at her. Only kept his attention on a spot somewhere off to her left, and V stepped forward, setting her sunglasses on top of her head before resting a hand on his shoulder.
“I failed that last bit. I failed it hard, but you’re a fucking Saint. A Saint, you got that? You were the minute you started flying our colors. Not because of Luis, or the fact you busted me out, or out of pity. Because of you. And without you, we wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t be here right now. Not even close. Please don’t forget that.”
V’s arm fell back to her side, her fingers clenched tight, and when Carlos still didn’t look at her, she tamped down hard on the urge to reach out for him again.
“Too little, too late, eh?”
“For a motivational pep-talk? Kind of.”
“But?”
He reached up to tug at the back of his beanie, and gave her a sheepish look. “I know you’ve got me. It’s…what you do, right?”
“It’s-” V’s throat tightened, and she wished like hell he wasn’t looking at her like he was right now. “Of course, it’s what I do, but… Dammit, I’m fucking this up,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Look, there’s things that I’ll do as a boss, and yeah, you bet I’m going to keep an eye on my crew. Because you’ve gotta be decent to your people. You owe them that much. But I’m not coming at this like that. Not out of obligation, or as a fucking chore, because someone’s got to keep on all of these damn kids running around.”
This time Carlos chuckled.
“I’m doing this, because, I uh…” V felt the words still in her mouth, and let out a long sigh. “I swear I’ll stop putting my foot in my mouth soon, I promise. I’d really like for us to be friends. Just in case you were worried that ranking put a major cramp in that, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. And, uh, of all the mornings I needed a friend the most, this one-this one was it.”
Carlos’s expression changed immediately, and she worked to keep her entire body from tensing.
“It was bad. Real fucking bad, and I’m sure you knew that, but…even though I was far from pleasant, you didn’t leave. You stayed, and tried to put a damn smile on my face, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Wrapping her arms around herself, she regarded him for a few seconds – concerned, and hesitant all in one – and chuckled. It was short and brittle, but that was all she could manage right now.
“So, yeah. If I can even repay half of that, I’ll do it.”
“Anything?”
“Anything,” she said, without hesitation. “Anything you want, you got it.”
He kept on looking at her, right at her, not through, and didn’t remember when she’d started holding her breath. Only noticed it the minute the air started burning in her lungs. “Food.”
She coughed. “What?”
“We’ve been out here doing this for hours. So, I think we should hit the nearest drive thru and take it easy for a while.”
“Like a burger and fries kind of break?”
“Or gyros and pizza. If that’s more your thing than Apollos?”
V balked at him. He was not giving her priority here. No fucking way. “Hey, this is about you. Not me, okay? So, if you want a damn burger, we’re getting you a burger.”
“With double fries and a milkshake?”
“With a motherfucking cherry on top.”
He laughed, grinning brightly, and she wished she’d earned it. Every damn second of it. “Deal.”
The gravel crunched under their feet as they wandered back to Carlos’s car, and V let the distance grow between them as she flipped her sunglasses back down onto her nose. With everything cast in orange again, she let her breathing calm, and counted to thirty before reaching for the phone waiting in her pocket.
Carlos was roughly ten paces in front of her, so he wouldn’t notice if she looked. Or care much if she started fiddling with it, honestly. She got messages at all hours of the day. It wasn’t strange to check. It really, really wasn’t.
Flipping it over in her hand, she glanced at it, and considered the message waiting for her. The same one she’d had since the morning.
With three clicks, it was gone.
17 notes · View notes
mayacatmaster · 5 years
Photo
Tumblr media
When flag wavers dog-blind follow sheep and ass kisser morality-religion-belief-system-standard become for yourself the cosmic standard for moral behavior.
*** *** ***
Became your so call ‘great saints; good person; Great virtue and good deeds’.
*** *** ***
And…:
If out of your infatuation with being a flag wavers dog-blind follow sheep and ass kisser.
*** *** ***
No matter of it’s on what area, topic, to whom or to to what?
And those  flag wavers dog-blind follow sheep and ass kisser let you become for yourself the cosmic standard for moral behavior,
*** *** ***
You said I am follow order like dog, it’s what make me a “man”(woman; children).
*** *** ***
You whole life only living like sheep, and died like sheep.
Only let you loyalty, service, sacrificed for outer rulers,
and can’t let you alignment with your “Source”(True Self; Tao),
and can’t let you as alignment-deliberate-creator,  
then that is the very same egotism which is prone to violence.
*** *** ***
Because…:
There are two ways to conquer and enslave a country, a city, a home, or a mankind. One is by the sword. The other is by brainwash. *** *** *** Mentally blind people who never question authority.  *** *** ***  And may I ask?: About Chiang Kai-shek, Mao Zedong, the Emperor of Japan, North Korea's leader, Adolf Hitler, Stalin, Fascism~~~! They are… *** *** *** 100% BULLSHIT or they are Great leader and they can replace your “Source”(True Self; Tao; God)? *** *** *** If your answer is they are “100% BULLSHIT”. *** And may I ask “Why” we need? Give all our "heart and soul" loyal to Chiang Kai-shek, Mao Zedong, the Emperor of Japan, North Korea's leader, Adolf Hitler, Stalin, Fascism~~~! *** *** *** Specially, When…: School said: "Obey or Fail!"; Government said: "Obey or Jail!": Religion said: "Obey or Hell!"; Parents said: "Obey or Punishment!"; *** *** *** “Why” we need go to school learn to repeat "Confucianism or Communism belief system" information instead of how to think for myself?  Why? May I ask “Why”…I need use…: *** *** *** 100% BULLSHIT replace “Source”(True Self; Tao; God)? *** *** *** May I ask ?: Good or evil, who decides?;  By "Source"(True Self; Tao; Logos: Maat; Brahman) or  Seek "their"(government; parents; guru; husband; teacher; morality; religion) approval. *** *** *** Good and evil are not what our parents told us, not what our church tells us, or our country, not what anybody else tells us!  All of us decide good and evil for ourselves, automatically, by choosing what we want to do! ~Richard Bach  *** *** *** Normal is just an illusion, what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. *** *** *** Humankind is the only virus cursed to live with the horrifying knowledge of its host's fragile mortality. *** *** *** And ~~~! The host kills the virus, or the virus kill the host. *** *** ***
And…:
The “Person”(Parents; monarchs; authority; rulers; relatives; family; teachers) is Irrelevant. You're just using them as your excuse to line up or not line up *** *** ***
When you said…: I don’t want wake up, because so much great saints, gurus, teachers, holy books, elders, parents said it…. Great Traditional virtues and good deeds. I don’t want wake up, because a lot of so call ‘enlightenment masters’ also said it…. Great Traditional virtues and good deeds. I don’t want wake up, because whole education-belief-system said it…. Great Traditional virtues and good deeds. I don’t want wake up, because whole social-media-belief-system said it…. Great Traditional virtues and good deeds. I don’t want wake up. I don’t want wake up. I don’t want wake up. *** *** *** So I am not responsible for the programming I am received in childhood. And As an adult, I’m not 100% responsible for fixing it. *** *** *** So I still put those shit-stuff into my imagination that I do not want to materialize. - Wayne Dyer *** *** *** So….My heart wonder, ….If this is all a dream, a Maya, a mirage, it's long as fuck....: Because lesson repeats until it is learned….: It has 5000 years in China, It has 7,000 years in India,….: *** *** *** "Sometimes the greatest adventure is simply a conversation. -Amadeus Wolfe *** *** *** Of all the people on the planet, you talk to yourself more than anyone. Make sure you are saying the right things. *** *** *** The people you meet are either reflections of a repeated cycle or guides towards a new start.  Notice the difference. *** *** *** Looking for truth? Observe people's habitual behavior patterns/cycles. The truth is in their patterns and cycles.  Not so much their words. *** *** *** The way you most know the power of the love of Source.  Is in your darkest moments,  because those dark moments- those depressive moments- those negative moments could not exist if they were not playing up against what Source really is offering to you. ~Abraham *** *** ***  Via and thanks “Mina Milos”: Only in my pain, did I find my will. Only in my chaos, did I learn to be still. Only in my fear, did I find my might. Only in my darkness, did I see my light. t.m.t *** *** ***  Never forget, you are the highest AUTHORITY in your life. *** *** *** These following words will either attract a strong mind or offend a weak one. NO BOOK WRITTEN CAN TELL ME WHAT GOD WROTE The human brain is the world's greatest computer because it is self aware, self thinking, self learning, & can even reprogram itself. Why would God implant such great abilities into our heads and then give us religions that discourages intelligent critical thinking in exchange for blind dumb faith? ~Exposing the Matrix of Lie *** *** *** Because….: Outside advice is useless if you don't have your own internal compass to guide the way. *** *** *** Very apparently is…: You don't learn to walk by following the rules. Be You... Natural led by Joyful Discovery & Exploration! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Via and thanks “Vortex Coffee Club - Law of Attraction”: *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Follow the force that is guiding the whole universe is in you.  Pledge allegiance to your "Source"(God; True Self; Tao; Logos),  everything is done! ~Zhouyi cantong qi 「觀天之道,執天之行,盡矣!」: 周易參同契; *** *** *** You are never along or helpless.  The force that is guiding the whole universe is in you too! *** *** *** The best way to make your dream come true is to wake up. *** *** *** So…: "Solitude is for me a fount of healing which makes my life worth living. . Talking is often a torment for me, and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words." ~Carl Jung *** *** *** If today was your last day in this body, would the chatter of your mind hold any value for you? Then, why not live like this now? ~Mooji *** *** *** A: You see, you were so sure when you decided to come into physical form that you were not going to wait around for others to get you, that you made sure that you are ungettable. And that's what you and we are wanting everyone in this room to understand: Give up on trying to get them to get you - they not only don't want to get you, they want to change you to something that they do get. Q: Right. Say the jokes we want you to say, think the way we want you to. And I'm like, that's boring. (PS: No matter of what kind of religion/ morality/gurus/ holy books/political/government/education/social/family/personal-belief-system) A: And they think they're calling you forward when actually they're calling you backward. Q: It's nuts, really. A: And fun. Q: I will admit it's fun to mess with them in that regard. "Why won't you change?" Because I don't want to. ~Abraham *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Via and thanks “The Wobble Free Zone”: *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Because….: It's not luck, it's alignment. You're not lucky, you're aligned. ~Abraham *** *** *** FIRST RULE OF DOING NICE THINGS FOR PEOPLE??? YOU DON'T TELL PEOPLE YOU'RE DOING NICE THINGS FOR PEOPLE. *** *** *** Because…: "Everyone tells you what to do and what's good for you.  They don't want you to find your own answers. They want you to believe theirs." ~Socrates *** *** *** But…: Your LIFE, Your CHOICES, Your MISTAKES, Your LESSONS, none of it is other’s BUSINESS. *** *** *** Because…: You are the highest AUTHORITY in your life. *** *** *** Because…: “I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.'" Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If they say, "We're the So-and-Sos," take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it's unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. But don't participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you're not a team player, congratulate them on being observant.” ― George Carlin *** *** *** So~~~! Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears. *** *** *** Don't believe everything you think. *** *** *** Question everything you think you know about your "True Self"(Tao;God). Reexamine all that you have been told in school, or in church or in any book. Dismiss whatever insults your soul. *** *** *** Just like "Socrates" said: “To find yourself, question and think for yourself.” -Socrates *** *** *** Make sure they can help you to get rid of painful and get sweet fruit. Make sure they can help you from bondage to freedom. Make sure they can help you from personality to individual. Make sure they can help you from darkness to light. Make sure they can help you from misery to enlightenment. Make sure they can help you from ignorance to innocence. Make sure they can help you from death to deathlessness. Make sure they can help you to realized your "True Self"(Tao;God). *** *** *** But…: Your LIFE, Your CHOICES, Your MISTAKES, Your LESSONS, none of it is other’s BUSINESS. *** *** *** Otherwise…: "If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it." -Frank Zapp *** *** *** To rise above & overcome anything, first you have to overcome that mental bondage!! So…: Your mind must arrive at the destination before your life does. ~Vybe Source *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** "Rather than being so ready to Jump Into action to get the things that you want,we say think them Into being;. see them, visualize them, and expect them and they will be." -A. Hicks *** *** *** Then you will face Cycle of Limitation….: *** *** *** Many of you recognize that there seems to be an acceleration of negativity, an acceleration of violence, but this is because you are at the end of the Cycle of Limitation. You have to get all of the negativity out on the table in front of your face so you can consciously decide what kind of world you prefer to have. Now that you know you're strong enough to deal with it, you're getting it all out of your system as fast as you can having the most extreme examples come up because you re strong enough to deal with it. -Bashar From the movie First Contact (2016) by Darryl Anka *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Via and thanks “Sililaquies”: *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** It's call a default belief,  它被稱為盲目「計著認同;著我當真」的信仰觀念, when you agree to rules before you think and question,  當你不經自己探詢質疑思考就同意遵守「外在威權教規錯誤律法書」的規定, when you go along because you're expected to. 作事只是為了"無違"(無條件服從乖乖聽話)地順應他人的期待, A million of those in a lifetime, unless you're careful. 除非你審慎警覺萬分,你的一生將會犯一百萬��的這種盲目「計著認同;著我當真」錯誤。 ~Richard Bach *** *** ***
0 notes
msf-diamond-dog · 7 years
Note
You're going to hate me BUT 1-199
199: I was born in: 1994198: I am really: Annoying197: My cellphone company is: Tmobile196: My eye color is: Brown195: My shoe size is: 11 1/2 I think194: My ring size is: I have no clue193: My height is: 6 feet192: I am allergic to: Nothing as far as I know191: My 1st car was: A white nissan truck190: My 1st job was: Comicon189: Last book you read: The Last Wish188: My bed is: Comfy af187: My pet: Doggo 186: My best friend: Prolly my sister185: My favorite shampoo is: idc184: Xbox or ps3: PS3 183: Piggy banks are: rad182: In my pockets: headphones, keys, wallet181: On my calendar: numbers180: Marriage is: rad179: Spongebob can: die now please178: My mom: is rad177: The last three songs I bought were? Two were Zao albums and a Korn album176: Last YouTube video watched: A Lego one175: How many cousins do you have? 8174: Do you have any siblings? A younger and an older173: Are your parents divorced? No172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes171: Do you play an instrument? Yes, bass guitar170: What did you do yesterday? School[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: no168: Luck: nah167: Fate: yeah166: Yourself: nah165: Aliens: kinda164: Heaven: yeah163: Hell: yeah162: God: yeah161: Horoscopes: nah160: Soul mates: idk159: Ghosts: nah158: Gay Marriage: yeah157: War: thats a loaded question156: Orbs: sure?155: Magic: nah[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: why not both153: Drunk or High: drunk152: Phone or Online: online151: Red heads or Black haired: either150: Blondes or Brunettes: either149: Hot or cold: cold148: Summer or winter: winter147: Autumn or Spring: autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanillz145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: either142: McDonalds or Burger King: buger king141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: white140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: either138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor137: Coke or Pepsi: either136: Hillary or Obama: obama135: Burried or cremated: cremated134: Singing or Dancing: singing133: Coach or Chanel: neither132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: neither131: Small town or Big city: small town130: Wal-Mart or Target: targer129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither128: Manicure or Pedicure: neither127: East Coast or West Coast: west 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers124: Disney or Six Flags: six flags123: Yankees or Red Sox: neither[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: again, loaded question121: George Bush: 9/11120: Gay Marriage: good119: The presidential election: a joke118: Abortion: its either takin a shit or killing a baby117: MySpace: fine?116: Reality TV: usually hate it115: Parents: i have good parents114: Back stabbers: lame ass cowards113: Ebay: fine?112: Facebook: minda annoying but goods111: Work: work is good110: My Neighbors: pretty rad tbh109: Gas Prices: i need cheaper gas108: Designer Clothes: too expensive107: College: bullshit for the most part106: Sports: i dont like sports105: My family: i love my family!104: The future: will hopefully be good [ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: yesterday102: Last time you ate: i just woke up so like 12 hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: uhhh it's been a while100: Cried in front of someone: about a month ago99: Went to a movie theater: i think it was like february?98: Took a vacation: i like never go on vactions97: Swam in a pool: years96: Changed a diaper: never95: Got my nails done: never94: Went to a wedding: uhhh 2013 i think93: Broke a bone: never92: Got a peircing: not yet91: Broke the law: fireworks on the 4th90: Texted: like 2 seconds ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: out of my friends probably matt88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my family tbh87: The last movie I saw: uhh unbreakable86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: winter85: The thing im not looking forward to: writing papers84: People call me: dj83: The most difficult thing to do is: anything that involves getting out of bed82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope81: My zodiac sign is: gemini80: The first person i talked to today was: jana79: First time you had a crush: uhh i think i was 1178: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my sister77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday76: Right now I am talking to: jana75: What are you going to do when you grow up: die prolly74: I have/will get a job: fucking soon hopefully73: Tomorrow: is sunday72: Today: saturday71: Next Summer: will prolly suck70: Next Weekend: will blow69: I have these pets: a dog! but our house has another dog, two birds and two cats68: The worst sound in the world: squeaking snow67: The person that makes me cry the most is: uhh i dont talk to them anymore66: People that make you happy: my family and friends!65: Last time I cried: about a month ago64: My friends are: the best63: My computer is: slow62: My School: wayland baptist university61: My Car: a white nissan truck60: I lose all respect for people who: cheat, lie, purposefully hurt others59: The movie I cried at was: never cried at a movie58: Your hair color is: black 57: TV shows you watch: a lot. favs are the office, always sunny, archer, and bobs burgers56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube55: Your dream vacation: germany 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: emotional53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare52: My room is: fairly clean51: My favorite celebrity is: don't have one50: Where would you like to be: germany atm49: Do you want children: yeah!48: Ever been in love: yeah47: Who’s your best friend: my sister46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends45: One thing that makes you feel great is: pills tbh.44: One person that you wish you could see right now: jana43: Do you have a 5 year plan: nope42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: nah41: Have you pre-named your children: nope40: Last person I got mad at: uhh my sisters friend39: I would like to move to: i like it here for the most part. i couldn't leave my family38: I wish I was a professional: musician[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: dont really have one!36: Vehicle: old muscle cars35: President: dont have one, man.34: State visited: arizona or tennessee!33: Cellphone provider: verizon was pretty good32: Athlete: dont have one31: Actor: dont have one30: Actress: dont have one29: Singer: jon davis28: Band: korn27: Clothing store: dont have one26: Grocery store: i like fry's mostly25: TV show: too many24: Movie: atm, get out23: Website: tumblr or youtube22: Animal: dogs!21: Theme park: dont have one20: Holiday: christmas!19: Sport to watch: dont like sports18: Sport to play: dont like sports17: Magazine: gameinformer is like the only one i read16: Book: dont have one15: Day of the week: saturday14: Beach: any!13: Concert attended: oooo korn and rob zonbie I think.12: Thing to cook: i like to cook anything!11: Food: dont have one10: Restaurant: dont have one9: Radio station: i hate the radio8: Yankee candle scent: idk man7: Perfume: i dont know! honestly probably more interested in the person wearing it6: Flower: orchids!5: Color: blue!4: Talk show host: prolly conan3: Comedian: louis ck!2: Dog breed: huskys1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yeah!Thank you Jana! C:
1 note · View note
racingtoaredlight · 5 years
Text
Degenerate’s guide to college football season 2018 week 8 tv watch ‘em ups
Tumblr media
I’m not about to make this a Michigan Wolverines blog but I’ve got to say it warms my heart the way Jim Harbaugh has risen back up in the rankings after being left for dead a few weeks ago. And now he’s facing the football avatars of the sickly Michigan State University so I kind of feel a pull towards rooting him on.
I can’t do that. I would be murdered by my wife and her family. But I might do it.
There’s other stuff happening but with Navy and Miami both effectively dead in the water I’ve already fallen into the mode of only hoping for chaos. There are so many teams that I wish ill upon.
See below for details!
Times are eastern. You can guess whatever else. I might be around to watch with you and I might be outside taking advantage of temperate weather in the desert.
Saturday, October 20
Matchup                                           Time (ET)                 TV/Mobile
Auburn at Mississippi                    12:00pm                     ESPN
Mercifully this one gets rid of itself quickly. Both these teams are bad and the rumors they are a-flyin that Gus Malzahn has all but announced his retirement. Or quitting or whatever. I don’t know if he means to quit coaching altogether or just wants out of Auburn. The racist south lost their best player but he’s a WR and they have three more superstars in that position group. Expect everything to happen and all of it to be inexplicable.
Buffalo at Toledo                             12:00pm             ESPN+ / WGRZ
If things break a certain way, Tyree Jackson could be the #1 quarterback in the 2019 draft. I think he’s probably third at best but somebody could really fall for his potential. Is he closer to Josh Allen as a prospect than he is to Andrew Luck? Absolutely. But imagine the delightful disaster that could be the Giants taking him in the top 10 and then thrusting him into starting duties before he’s ready. The franchise could never recover and isn’t that what we all want? The line has swung towards Buffalo to the point where they’re now favored. Maybe don’t bet this one, though.
20 Cincinnati at Temple                   12:00pm                    ESPNU
Things are setting up nicely for Luke Fickell to return to Ohio State as head coach.
Illinois at 23 Wisconsin                    12:00pm                       FS1
Paul Chryst has a whole season he needs to resurrect if he’s going to live up to his surname. To start he needs to beat the spread against shitty Illinois and that means he needs to beat the hell out of Illinois. The betting public does not trust him to do so but I sort of do. Wisconsin by 40.
Maryland at 19 Iowa                          12:00pm                     ESPN2
The most depressing healthcare story in football comes to the most heartwarming stadium in football and hell if it doesn’t seem like Maryland is the better team, records aside. The spread is shrinking and so is the over under. I don’t feel safe predicting much for either team in terms of outcome but 44 total points? That looks like free money.
Miami (Ohio) at Army                         12:00pm                   CBSSN
This game is crap.
6 Michigan at 24 Michigan State        12:00pm                     FOX
The capacity is limitless for each of these teams to fuck up to the point where you’re not sure whether they mean to play football or not. If I were you and you were betting, I as you would take Michigan State to cover +7.5 and pound the under (40.5.) 
Northwestern at Rutgers                     12:00pm                      BTN
Holy hell this is almost a MAC game.
9 Oklahoma at TCU                              12:00pm                      ABC
Wouldn’t that just be so Gary Barnett to beat Oklahoma right now and kind of fuck over the Big XII Conference. Oklahoma fired their DC last week and here they are favored by 7.5 on the road with an O/U of 61.5. The average total of a Big XII conference game is 94.3.
Tulsa at Arkansas                                 12:00pm                      SECN
Arkansas has started showing signs of life and I don’t know why and I really don’t know why they’re playing Tulsa right now.
North Carolina at Syracuse                  12:20pm               Raycom Sports
If you are unaware, the ACC is full of bad teams this year. UNC might just be the worst of the bunch. So of course they’re going to beat Syracuse today.
Virginia at Duke                                      12:30pm                RSN/ESPN3
The straggler of the early slate is a soul crusher just by listing the teams. UVA is coming off a big upset of Miami that has the Miami faithful, er, questioning their faith. Duke has only 1 loss and a terrible QB who has an odd distribution of hype.
Bowling Green at Ohio                           2:00pm                      ESPN3
Good job by Bowling Green to be bold in a bad situation by firing their coach. 1-11 just feels better without all the extra questions.
Idaho State at Liberty                              2:00pm                      ESPN3
Go Idaho State.
Florida Atlantic at Marshall                     2:30pm                   CBSSN/FB
Luther Campbell’s favorite coach is favored in the road for reasons unknowable. Bet on Marshall here.
Utah State at Wyoming                            2:30pm                      ATTSN
Utah State is a darling of computer rankings and they’re favored by 14 against Wyoming. I’ve got no advice to pair with these things.
Charlotte at Middle Tennessee                3:00pm                      ESPN3
I defy any one of you to offer a cogent expression of expectations for this game.
Eastern Michigan at Ball State                 3:00pm                      ESPN+
Look at all this stupid goddamn MAC football.
Western Michigan at Central Michigan    3:00pm                      ESPN+
At least it’s all happening at once and I won’t see it.
Akron at Kent State                                    3:30pm                      ESPN+
None of it.
1 Alabama at Tennessee                           3:30pm                        CBS
Tennessee got their first conference win in 2 years last week and this week they’ll be slaughtered.
Coastal Carolina at UMass                         3:30pm                     ES/NESN
This is an absolutely perfect weekend to skip football watching.
Colorado at 15 Washington                        3:30pm                        FOX
This is an OK game but it shouldn’t be a contender for best of the week. Brutal slate of games.
Houston at Navy                                           3:30pm                   CBSSN
Ed Oliver had 5 TFL, including 2 sacks, last week. You’d think that would be tough to duplicate against a Navy team that never throws but in two previous games against the Middies Oliver has 25 total tackles, 5 TFL and 2 sacks. He’s a defensive tackle. I understand why he isn’t going #1 overall next year but he should probably go #1 overall next year.
16 NC State at 3 Clemson                               3:30pm                     ESPN
GAME OF THE WEEK! CONTRACT THE ACC!
18 Penn State at Indiana                                  3:30pm                      ABC
I’m not just saying this because I hate Penn State - that 14.5-point line is mighty tempting to bet the Hoosiers. I wouldn’t take Indiana to win but that’s a lot of points to give at home against a team that hasn’t really played up to their rep so far this season.
Kansas at Texas Tech                                       3:30pm                       FS1
My prediction is lots and lots of turnovers from both teams and a final score that’s very disappointing for anybody that roots for and/or bets for the Kansas Jayhawks.
Louisiana at Appalachian State                       3:30pm                     ESPN+
Minnesota at Nebraska                                      3:30pm                     BTN
Our collective dream of an 0-12 season for the Cornhuskers is going to get a serious challenge this week from a pretty bad Minnesota team that isn’t so far away from questioning their own expensive coaching hire.
SMU at Tulane                                                      3:30pm                  ESPNU
The fuccponi’s travel to New Orleans for a debauch and a football game. As far as gambling I wouldn’t touch this one but if you want to see some interesting offensive concepts get in now on Tulane’s modern-ish twist on an option offense. They don’t have any high level talent to speak of but somebody with more to spend is going to scoop up Willie Fritz in the near future.
UTEP at LA Tech                                                  3:30pm                   ESPN+
You aren’t going to see Louisiana Tech favored by 24 over a lot of teams but UTEP isn’t just any shitty team.
Wake Forest at Florida State                               3:30pm                   ESPN2
Florida State is a lot closer to being good again than most people realize. Vegas has noticed and has FSU favored by 10 this week. The rest of you will notice when they beat Notre Dame next week.
California at Oregon State                                    4:00pm                Pac-12N
This is a great Pac-12 After Dark game that is seriously undermined by an early  afternoon start.
Memphis at Missouri                                             4:00pm                    SECN
Drew Lock versus Darrell Henderson in a key RTARL-American cross conference matchup.
Georgia Southern at New Mexico State     6:00pm     11 Sports / AggieVision
SEE FOOTBALL THROUGH THE EYES OF AN AGGIE WITH INCREDIBLE NEW AGGIEVISION VR GLASSES!
22 Mississippi State at 5 LSU                               7:00pm                    ESPN
This is the kind of shit game you can set your watch to. Both of these teams are ranked and, I guess, deservedly so. But that doesn’t mean you should expect good football out of them. Montez Sweat is one of the best players in the country this year and he’s somehow going to get 3 sacks in this game but also lose by 15. Yep, I’m predicting an 18-3 final score.
Texas State at ULM                                                7:00pm                    ESPN3
They got the degenerate part down pat for this one.
10 UCF at East Carolina                                         7:00pm                  ESPN2
The nation’s longest winning streak gets tested by... Whatever. Sometimes ridiculous things happen and ECU winning wouldn’t compare to Old Dominion brutalizing Virginia Tech a couple of weeks ago in terms of insane upsets.
  UConn at 21 USF                                                    7:00pm                   CBSSN
USF and UCF are barreling towards a huge end-of-season showdown and UConn shouldn’t really put up much of a fight here. The Bulls are favored by 32.5 at home and it would honestly be a big disappointment if they don’t beat the spread. One of my favorite things each week the last couple of seasons has been seeing the hilarious final scores of UConn games.
UTSA at Southern Miss                                          7:00pm                   ESPN+
I don’t like this ESPN+ nonsense one bit. Because I haven’t ever figured out what the hell it is and a game like this screams out for the CBS Sports or FOX regional treatment.
Fresno State at New Mexico                                   7:30pm                  ESPNU
ESPNU, on the other hand, I understand. This trash is in its perfect place as a game you put on the tablet to stare at some bullshit while whatever you actually are watching is at commercial.
North Texas at UAB                                                  7:30pm        beIN SPORTS
Oh, hell yes. This is beautiful. I’m rolling with the UNTs +1.5 and over 54.5.
2 Ohio State at Purdue                                             7:30pm                ABC
I find Ohio State football to be deeply and eternally unsatisfying. I can’t count on them to win or lose the way I like. Oh, well, as long as Dwayne Haskins keeps racking up 5 or 7 passing TDs a game they can do whatever the hell they want in every other facet.
Old Dominion at WKU                                               7:30pm              ESPN+
If ODU can finish 1-11 this season we are all winners.
12 Oregon at 25 Washington State                           7:30pm               FOX
I hate the national scheduling making this start in daylight hours but I love everything else about this game. Both QBs were on the RTARLsman list this week as one is the legitimate best QB in the country and the other is leading the country in most counting stats.
Rice at FIU                                                                   7:30pm               ESPN+
Holy crap does Rice suck. This is better left out of sight out of mind.
Vanderbilt at 14 Kentucky                                          7:30pm               SECN
Kentucky being ranked in football is unnatural and bad and I hope it stops soon.
USC at Utah                                                                 8:00pm               Pac-12N
No idea what to expect from either team and I still don’t think of it as a conference game but I find these two uniforms to be aesthetically pleasing.
Arizona at UCLA                                                         10:30pm            ESPN2
Now that UCLA has won a game I don’t know what to do with my hands. I kind of want Sumlin and Kelly to work out for at least a little while in the Pac.
San Jose State at San Diego State                            10:30pm            CBSSN
SDSU isn’t the best they’ve been in recent vintage but SJSU is an abomination of a team that might just be the worst in America. Classic degenerate watch ‘em up. Sometimes San Diego State wears cool looking unis and the contrast between their shiny maroon and black should be very nice against San Jose’s blue, yellow and white.
Nevada at Hawaii                              11:59pm     Spectrum/Nevada Sports Net
Hawaii disappointed me greatly last week but I still love them eternally just for playing so late when they’re at home. This is kind of an ugly uniform matchup but it could still be a fun, wild and crazy game between middling teams that do cool stuff on offense.
0 notes
Text
WCW Monday Nitro 29/07/1996
 Here we go boys and girls...
Tumblr media
You know, I just realised I have no idea what that “Q” shape in the top right hand corner actually means. To Google! 
OK well, I had a brief check and I still don’t know. Answers on a postcard. 
Something else I just noticed...
Tumblr media
Hogan’s screaming face right next to a building that says “prescriptions”... I don’t think I need to comment any further.
“WCW Monday Nitro ignites once again!” screams Tony Schiavone as we get a high shot of the WCW set at Universal.
Tumblr media
The magic kingdom has never been more magical.
Tumblr media
As always we are welcomed by Mr Schiavone and “Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko. They’re both wearing Mickey Mouse shirts which is somewhat appropriate. Larry doesn’t look best pleased about it.
Tony informs us that there are two title matches tonight. The Giant will be defending his World Heavyweight title against Arn Anderson, whilst Rey Mysterio Jr will be defending his cruisweight title against Eddie Guerrero. I’m guessing one of those matches is going to be far more entertaining than the other. Tony also hypes the American Males Vs the Steiner Brothers, but... meh. The American Males suck. 
Tony brings up that WCW has recently been under attack from the New World Order. Larry refers to them as the “new world odor”. Very clever, Larry. Zbszko says the nWo are in control and picking their spots. Really they’re just being allowed to do pretty much whatever they want. WCW could have these guys thrown out in their asses for all sorts of shit, but nope. Nobody ever questions why.
We go to footage that Tony says was sent to them (not established by who) of Hall and Nash standing outside some kind of building looking a little bit high.
Tumblr media
Next up we see footage of Luger and Sting coming out the back of some arena. Apparently this is a WCW Saturday Night taping. I assume the Outsiders filmed this footage or had somebody film it for them, as you can hear them saying mostly unintelligible shit in the background. Luger gets called away, leaving Sting by himself. 
At this point the Outsiders attack Sting from behind, shove him half way into the boot of a car and slam the door onto his back. They then beat Sting up some more before running off. This is all being filmed. Larry and Tony express minor disgust, as if they aren’t literally watching a guy getting the shit beaten out of him on tape, and say it’ll be dealt with at the Hog Wild PPV. 
Obviously another way to deal with it would be to, I don’t know, send this tape to the police? A blatant, pre-meditated assault filmed in its entirety before and after. You aren’t going to get much more clear-cut evidence. But, y’know, wrestling.
Tony calmly states that Sting is OK and suffered “minor injuries”. Well, that’s fine then. 
Some vaguely old school Western movie music plays and out comes the former Mauler, Mike Enos, aka one half of the worst named team in the world, “Rough ‘n’ Ready”. I think he was Ready.
Tumblr media
His opponent is the ultra patriotic numbskull Jim Duggan. “Not Hacksaw” sighs Larry, and I’m with you living legend. Why? Why?
Tumblr media
Mike “Ready” Enos Vs “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
What a way to start the show. And yes, that was heavy, heavy sarcasm. For fuck’s sake. Couldn’t we have started with Rey Vs Eddie? Maybe just not had this match at all?
There are some contrasting emotions in the crowd as Hacksaw comes out...
Tumblr media
The guy on the right seems happy to see Duggan. The guy on the left looks like me when I realised who was coming out. Come to think of it, I think that guy on the right was the dude aggressively booing Konnan last time. Loves ultra patriotic Jim Duggan, hates Mexican konnan to the point where it looked like his head was about to explode... pretty sure this guy is now a Trump supporter. I’ve just dated this blog, but for reference we’re in 2018, so that’s a relevant thought for at least another few years.
The crowd start chanting “USA” straight away. I think they’re both from the States so it’s not a chant that favours either man. Hacksaw is instantly furious, for some reason, and wants to start beating up Enos before the bell event rings.
Tumblr media
The ref is like “bro, bro... calm down. We’re at Disneyworld.”
Duggan clotheslines Enos over the top rope after about a minute. Remember how last week Norton got disqualified for doing the exact same thing to Dave Taylor? No such luck here. Damn it.
I notice Enos has “Rough and Ready” on the back of his sleeveless jacket..
Tumblr media
.What’s the snake meant to represent? Are snakes known for being rough or ready?
Enos and Hacksaw give each other some pretty nasty looking headbutts...
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
What’s funny is that Enos’s headbutt was more of a leaning his head in and pushing, whereas Hacksaw just went charging in there and smashed their heads together. Looked brutal. Also Hacksaw is fucking thick. And I don’t mean “thicc”, I just mean thick. Stout. Rotund.
Larry repeats his “new world odor” phrase for about the fifth time already. It’s not that original or funny Larry, give it a rest.
Tumblr media
Look how empty the front row is. Where the hell is everybody? Normally that front row is full, and usually with really strange people too. I wonder if the black guy in the bottom left still has his “hulkster” shirt, or whether that’s now been disposed of...
Enos is putting on this really shitty looking chinlock.
Tumblr media
It doesn’t look remotely painful. He’s literally just cupping Hacksaw’s chin in his hands. I mean, to go from those brutal headbutts to this is silly. This goes on forever. Even Larry basically says the chinlock is bullshit and not being applied properly.
This match has been going on for about 6 minutes and Duggan looks like he’s run a marathon.  
Duggan comes off the ropes and goes for a roll up...
Tumblr media
Did not want or need to see Enos’s arse crack, thanks. Sometimes I wonder if WCW understand their audience is predominantly heterosexual males. I mean, between this and that baywatch-esque clip from a few shows ago with Jim “Jobber” Powers, Alex Wright, etc stripping off their clothes in slow motion... I’m starting to wonder.
Tony actually calls attention to the four empty seats in the front row and wonders whether they’re for the new world order. I suppose it’s possible, and I can’t blame them for deciding against watching this classic.
Match ends when Enos is arguing with the ref, allowing Duggan to tape up his fist and crack Enos over the head.
Tumblr media
Check out the black guy in the upper right. He’s loving this way more than I am.
“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan defeats Mike “Ready” Enos via Pinfall.
Expert shit-stirrer Mean Gene is in the ring to interview Duggan. 
Tumblr media
Poor Hacksaw looks like he’s ready to go to bed.
Okerlund asks Hacksaw for his opinion on the nWo. Not sure why anybody would be particularly interested in what Duggan has to say on the subject, but whatever. Hacksaw gets unusually serious as he asks people to listen. 
Tumblr media
Hacksaw asks “Hulk, what have you done?” 
He reminds Hogan about the kids who look up to him, and brings up going with Hogan to the make-a-wish and special olympic events. Duggan asks why Hogan would turn his back on everything he loved, and everyone that loved him. Duggan says Hogan has held his children, and the first word his oldest child said was “hulkster”. That’s not weird at all. Duggan says “Hulkster, you’re a great technical wrestler” - lol - “but I don’t want to wrestle ya, I wanna beat ya up”. Broadly the same thing but OK. Gene says, referring to Hogan, “if you put a good apple into a basket of bad apples... enough said”. I guess so.
Hacksaw’s promo here was actually pretty good. He conveyed his emotions well, and his facial expressions really sold what he was saying as genuine. Just a shame I had to watch a match with him involved first.
We see footage of Arn creepily peering into a random limo last week...
Tumblr media
Totally normal behaviour.
Tumblr media
WCW loves showing this shot of Mickey. Maybe they were contractually obliged to do it.
Ric Flair’s music hits, and out come three of the four horsemen, plus the ladies.
Tumblr media
As of yet no explanation has been given for Flair’s no-show last week. The horsemen don’t seem overly bothered by it though. 
Sting’s theme music hits, and out come the Stinger, Lex Luger, and the Macho Man.
Tumblr media
I’ll admit to having a bit of a soft spot for the “Man Called Sting” theme song. I actually like a lot of those older WCW songs - Man Called Sting, Steinerized, American Made... I have an eclectic taste in music. Don’t judge me.
Tony repeats that Sting only suffered “minor injuries” after being attacked and he thinks the Outsiders were “just trying to send a message”. Uh, no. If they were sending a message they maybe would have shoved him over, or yelled some threats, or something else vaguely threatening. The pair of them quite literally punched Sting repeatedly and slammed a car boot against his back. I love how the commentators don’t see this as anything major. Just another day in the crazy world of wrestling. Larry calls it “a game of chess”. Most people would call it criminal assault.
Well anyway, these guys waste no time, a brawl starts...
Tumblr media
And the match is on.
Ric Flair, Steve McMichael & Chris Benoit Vs Sting, Lex Luger & Macho Man
The match starts with mostly brawling outside of the ring. Sting and Flair are in the ring fighting for about twenty seconds but they’re soon out on the floor as well. We have to go to a break, and during that break we see...
Tumblr media
Remember how I noted the dates had been dropping from the “coming soon” part of Glacier’s promo? Now even COMING SOON has gone. Maybe eventually it won’t even show “GLACIER” any more, it’ll just be the symbol in the background. Then a black screen. Then maybe it’ll just become a Mortal Kombat advert. Would have been a better idea than what eventually happened, but let’s forget about BLOOD RUNS COLD for now.  
We come back and the bell sounds. Things are finally under control.
Tumblr media
We start off with Sting and Benoit. Sting takes charge and Benoit rolls over towards Flair and Mongo. Flair holds out his hand for a tag...
Tumblr media
And comes in. Sting is going to tag Macho in but Flair knocks Macho off the apron before Sting can make a tag. Soon Flair and Savage are fighting on the floor, near that stupid unnecessary VIP table. The ridiculous candlestick in the middle gets knocked over...
Tumblr media
Good. Although they’re lucky it wasn’t lit, or that shit could have ended up on fire. Meanwhile Savage picks up the bowl of fruit and dumps it onto Flair. 
Tumblr media
Fruit all over the floor. What a waste.
Flair runs back into the ring but immediately eats a press slam from Sting.
Tumblr media
As you can see, the crowd are loving it.
Macho gets tagged in, which leads Flair to drop to the outside and plant a kiss on Miss Elizabeth. This angers Macho who runs over, but gets caught out and double-teamed by Flair and Mongo. The advantage doesn’t last for long though, and soon Savage is back on top. Annoyed by how useless he is at fighting, Flair walks off.
Tumblr media
Bye, then.
For some reason Flair stops walking away, sees Savage coming after him and just drops to his knees begging off. This never works and I don’t know why he didn’t just start running. Schaivone says Flair was trying to hide, but if so that was a pretty shitty place to try and hide. Savage throws Flair into the metal bleachers. As he leads Flair back to the ring, I’m sure I hear someone in the crowd say “Macho, put some cheese on it”. What? He might have said “Nacho” instead, so I guess that is kind of a burn, but... not really. I suppose it’s possible he was advising a friend how to best serve nachos, very loudly, and just happened to get picked up on camera. You gotta put cheese on nachos, no doubt.  
Next up Mongo and Luger are tagged in. Oh joy. The fans chant “Luger”. Say what you want about Lex, but until mid-1998 or so he was consistently over with WCW fans.
As Larry is talking about Mongo having “great teachers” in Flair and Anderson, Mongo completely botches running into the ropes and somehow falls through them.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Look at the faces on Lex, Benoit and Flair. W T Fuck? Mongo - unable to run the fucking ropes without botching, but still a member of the Four Horsemen. Both hilarious and tragic. The announcers cover for this by saying that Luger threw Mongo out of the ring through sheer strength. It’s not a bad save in fairness.
Thankfully Mongo tags back out to Flair, who is able to run the ropes without falling outside the ring. He just gets beaten up again though. Flair is just the worst fighter. He so rarely gets in any offence. Benoit comes in and kicks the shit out of Luger. Savage comes in and takes Benoit down, even though he isn’t the legal man. 
Tony mentions that the Dungeon of Doom have “literally” put a bounty on Benoit’s head. I assume that’s just to beat him in a wrestling match, not actually kill him, but it’s the Dungeon of Doom so... who fucking knows. It might be to shave Benoit’s entire body. According to the Giant that’s what the Dungeon like doing.
Flair takes a brutal superplex from Sting. 
Tumblr media
That image is a second or so after they landed. Some serious impact. They both literally bounce up like they’re on a trampoline. Mongo is then tagged in again - uh oh spagettios. He basically clotheslines Sting in the corner, executes a tame looking backbreaker, and tags back out to Benoit. Good idea.
Eventually it’s back to Flair and Sting. Slick Ric puts Sting in the Figure Four.
Tumblr media
Sting isn’t really selling it much. He looks mildly inconvenienced. Flair starts slapping Sting in the face.
Tumblr media
This just annoys Sting, who ends up reversing the Figure Four. Flair tries locking it in again but Sting counters into a rollup.
Tumblr media
Flair kicks out and tags in Benoit. The Crippler attacks Sting’s leg and hits him with a snap suplex. Sting kicks out at two. Benoit then puts Sting in a nasty looking Lion Tamer.
Tumblr media
He struggles to get full extension on it due to the height difference but it still looks uncomfortable to say the least. 
Luger comes in and breaks the submission up. Benoit tags Flair back in. 
Suddenly Jimmy Hart comes running out, yelling at the cameraman that “we need help” and for him to “come to the back”. 
Tumblr media
What good is a cameraman going to do if you need help? 
Tumblr media
Drunk?
Well, regardless, the cameraman decides to listen to this lunatic and starts running towards the backstage area. Hart gets up on the apron and tries to get everybody’s attention.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hilariously the wrestlers just totally ignore him, even though he’s going berserk on the apron. 
Hart finally gets Luger’s attention and yells at him that they need to get to the back.
Tumblr media
Who’s on the bottom of Jimmy’s insane tie by the way? I want that tie.
We cut to the back where the cameraman has assumedly ended up, and we see Arn Anderson is down. Hall and Nash are hanging around with baseball bats.
Tumblr media
Not sure what that stain is down by Arn’s foot. Not sure I want to know.
Tumblr media
I love how these two are just smashing the shit out of people with baseball bats, and still... no thought to call the police. I feel like at this point these two could literally cave somebody’s head in with those bats, murder them live on TV, and Tony would say they’re “sending a message”, Larry would say it’s a “game of chess” - where you smash the fuck out of your opponent’s pieces, apparently - and they’d try to settle it at a PPV. 
Anyhow, the other guy laying on the ground is Marcus Bagwell. 
Tumblr media
His tag team partner Scotty Riggs comes out and turns his back to the Outsiders, oblivious to the fact they are obviously the cause of his partner’s injury. What a dunce. He’s also standing like he’s got rickets. 
Tumblr media
Hall cracks him over the head with something like light rigging. The camera turns...
Tumblr media
And we see Rey Mysterio is standing on the rails here like it’s a turnbuckle. He tries a flying cross body onto Nash, but the big man catches Rey like he’s a small child, aims him towards the trailer and...
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tosses him into the side of it like a lawn dart. One of the more iconic moments of the original nWo invasion, one that everybody remembers. It looked like a rough bump to take, but kudos to Rey for taking it.
The Outsiders get back into their limo just as the Macho Man arrives. Savage dives on top of the limo and reaches through the sunroof as it starts to drive off...
Tumblr media
This won’t end well. 
Tumblr media
The limo literally drives off with Savage riding on top. Nice knowing you, Macho.
Tumblr media
As Savage rides off into the night atop of the Outsiders’ limousine, the backstage area is now filled with wrestlers and yellow shirt security. Just where the fuck were these fuckers when the Outsiders were beating the shit out of people? Obviously the wrestlers in the ring had a reason not to be there, but what were these security people doing? It’s a bit late to be out there now, assholes.
We come back from a break and Woman is cradling Arn like he’s about to die.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Liz and her boobs are there too.
Tumblr media
A fire truck arrives. What incompetent idiot called for a fucking fire truck? You have three choices and the only wrong choice would be to call a fire truck. Yet here we are. What are the firemen going to do, hose everybody down? 
Rey is on the ground, holding his head and yelling that “there were four”. Well, unless he’s counting the baseball bats as members of the nWo there were definitely only two. I suppose you could count three if you include the limo driver, but the assumption is that he was just a random dude hired to drive, rather than an nWo member.
Tumblr media
An ambulance turns up. That’s more like it. 
I’ve just realised this fucks the rest of the card. Eddie Vs Rey ain’t happening now, neither is American Males Vs the Steiners or Anderson Vs the Giant. Why do I get the feeling the replacements in these matches are going to be a significant downgrade?
Mysterio is having a neck brace put on, and during this time Alex Wright is yelling “Hey Rey! What do you mean by four? What do you mean by four?” ... dude, the guy just got thrown head first into the side of a fucking trailer. Screaming questions at him probably isn’t the best thing to do right now. The medics take Rey’s mask off to treat him. Tony acts shocked by this and says that in Mexico masked wrestlers never take their masks off. Of course, in Mexico they probably aren’t propelled head first into trailers either, so, you know. Hard to treat a head injury when the entire skull is covered by a mask, Tony. 
Tumblr media
 Benoit appears to be crying over Arn’s condition. 
Eddie wants to go to the hospital with Rey, but Alex Wright reminds Eddie he’s got a match, and he’ll go instead. The match was with Mysterio so actually Eddie doesn’t have a match anymore, but whatever. If I was Rey I wouldn’t want some German guy sitting next to me yelling “WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOUR?” over and over but the ambulance crew evidently don’t see a problem with it. 
Benoit is still on the verge of tears. He looks like a little boy who’s just seen a dog get run over. Larry says “I know how much Benoit looks up to Arn. This is disheartening”. Disheartening? Is that the best word you can come up with, Larry? Disheartening would be if Arn forgot a conversation they’d had last week. The guy just got attacked and apparently severely injured by two big guys with baseball bats and all you can say is it’s “disheartening”? Jeez.
For some reason Benoit starts getting into it with Meng...
Tumblr media
Good thing those ambulances are there. Benoit’s going to need one as well if he starts on Meng.
Tumblr media
We go back to Tony and Larry who look a little lost. How boring must this be for the fans out there? As far as I’m aware there’s no screen anywhere showing them what’s happening out the back, so they’re just sitting there looking at an empty ring. I appreciate the tickets were free, but still... 
We go to a break, and when we come back there’s still nothing of note happening. 
Tumblr media
Bischoff and Heenan (wearing the same shirt as Zybszko) have arrived, but Tony and Larry haven’e gone anywhere yet. I’m surprised the crowd are still hanging around to be honest. It’s surely been at least twenty minutes for them now.
Heenan says he’s not going to do the broadcast tonight unless he can be guaranteed he won’t be physically hurt. Probably a conversation that should have happened off-air, but whatever. Bischoff says he can’t give Heenan any promises and he should do whatever he feels he has to do. So Bobby leaves. 
Tony says “the wheels are falling off here”. Bischoff says that “fortunately” the fans in attendance can’t see what happened or is happening in the back. Yeah, Eric, I’m sure they would much prefer to stand around staring at an empty ring for half an hour. What a fun time.
A funny thing to note whilst this shit continues to go down - apparently during this incident somebody legitimately did call the emergency services as they thought a gang fight had broken out. At Disneyworld. I’d like to know which gang has claimed the Disney/MGM studios as their turf. Going around spraying Mickey Mouse graffiti everywhere. You don’t fuck with the DisneyWorld Baseball Bat Crew.
Understandably, there’s a loud “BORING” chant from the crowd. Eric says the crowd are “anxious”, Tony points out more astutely that it’s because they’re not seeing what’s going on backstage and nothing is happening in the ring. Of course they’re fucking bored. This is a really cool angle on TV, don’t get me wrong, but those poor fuckers in the crowd are being screwed over big time.
An “nWo” chant breaks out. We see Arn Anderson getting loaded into the ambulance. Bagwell is then loaded into the same ambulance. Sting is holding one of the baseball bats that the Outsiders used. Bischoff calls it “evidence”. Should probably be handing that over to the police, although it only appears that an ambulance and fire truck have shown up. It’s almost like in the world of WCW police simply don’t exist. They’re never mentioned and never seen. The best we get are security guards who are absolutely useless. Remember a few Nitros ago when it took about a hundred security guards to get Hall and Nash out of the arena, and half an hour later the Outsiders were still backstage fucking shit up? WCW hires terrible security and has no understanding of how to file a charge with the police. No wonder Heenan ran off.
Tumblr media
Fireworks inappropriately go off behind the WCW sign as we go into a commercial break. That’s the most exciting thing that crowd has seen in about half an hour or so. 
It looks like High Voltage are replacing the American Males.
Tumblr media
They’re both yelling stuff that makes no sense.
Tumblr media
These kids have become so bored that they’re screaming in excitement for High Voltage of all teams. 
“Here’s a story of two brothers, Rick and Scott...”
Tumblr media
Scott’s gigantic arms are covered by his Michigan jersey. The Steiners come out looking quite subdued, with Rick constantly looking behind him. The Outsiders drove off in a limo with Macho Man on top, guys, I think you’re OK. Macho hopefully isn’t laying splattered on a pavement somewhere. Nobody really seems bothered that they saw Savage hanging onto a moving vehicle as it drove away. 
Even though Rick is clearly bothered by what’s happened, he’s still barking. But it’s kind of a sad, tentative bark. You could argue that he shouldn’t be barking at all, but, that’s another story. A lot of things happen in WCW that make no sense.
The Steiner Brothers Vs High Voltage
Scott Steiner starts off dominating Chaos. Fireworks are still going off. Rick Steiner is still totally distracted and won’t get up on the ring apron.
Tumblr media
Scott is starting to get pissed off. 
Rick gets tagged in. He barks a few times, then turns away from Chaos and starts pointing towards the empty entranceway. Chaos takes advantage and hammers Rick with a few punches. Rage gets tagged in, and he and Chaos hit a double drop kick on Rick Steiner. Fireworks are STILL going off behind the WCW sign. I have to assume WCW has no control over this.
Tumblr media
Rage hits Rick with a flying shoulder block from the top turnbuckle. Rick kicks out at two. The crowd bark in unison to try and lift Rick Steiner.
Chaos goes up to the top turnbuckle, and I think Rick is supposed to reverse Chaos’ jump into a powerslam, but Rick instead just kind of ignores Chaos and does a half-hearted slam motion as Chaos flips over him and crashes to the mat. Made Chaos look like a total chode.
Scotty gets tagged back in and hits Rage with an underarm suplex. For some reason Scotty tags Rick straight back in. Questionable decision considering Rick seems to be struggling to focus unless the crowd is barking “woof woof woof” at him.
Well anyhow, Rick tags Scotty back in after hitting a few moves on Rage and knocking Chaos off the apron. Scott picks Rage up in a Falcon Arrow type position, holds him there for a few moments...
Tumblr media
Then drops him right on his head.
Tumblr media
It’s basically the Falcon Arrow but way more hardcore. 
Scott gets the three count and this one is over. Low Voltage.
The Steiner Brothers defeat High Voltage via Pinfall.
The crowd are very happy with this outcome. Two guys in the front row exchange a double high five. I guess they wouldn’t mind getting Steinerized.
Tumblr media
Yeah... sorry. Anyway.
We’re back to the broadcast position and Bischoff calls it “A heck of a broadcast so far”. Yep. As long as you aren’t in the crowd it’s been a fairly good show.
Tumblr media
Tony and Larry look like they’ve just been told Christmas is cancelled. Cheer up guys. Bischoff says “half of WCW have left in ambulances”, which is a pretty significant exaggeration. Bagwell, Riggs, Rey and Arn. That’s four. So unless WCW only has an official roster of eight people I think we can say that an estimate of half is wildly out. I suppose you can count Alex Wright, Sting and Flair as well, since they hopped into the ambulances too, but still.  
Tumblr media
I think Tony and Larry are supposed to be looking upset/irritated, but Tony just looks fucking depressed and Larry looks like a kid who’s just been given a time out. Eric says the Outsiders will go “wherever there isn’t security, wherever the weakness of WCW is. That’s where they’ll be”. Well, to review, they’ve come through the crowd and into the ring without being stopped. They’ve ended up at the broadcast booth multiple times without being stopped. They’ve been able to commandeer a live microphone and talk trash multiple times without being stopped. They’ve draped banners over the WCW logo without being stopped. They’ve broken into the production truck and fucked around with the broadcast without being stopped. They’ve powerbombed Bischoff off a stage on PPV without being stopped. They’ve attacked Sting after a Saturday Night taping without being stopped. And they’ve just beaten up multiple people with baseball bats without being stopped. So, yeah, WCW’s weaknesses are basically everything and I’m not convinced they even hire genuine security. If they do then they should probably look at hiring another company.
Oh, here comes Rey’s replacement.
Tumblr media
You’ve got to be kidding. How is Big Bubba an appropriate replacement for Rey Mysterio? He weighs about five times as much as Rey and has about a fifth of Rey’s ability in the ring. The name graphic makes it look like Jimmy Hart is “Big Bubba”, which did make me chuckle.
Out comes Eddie.
Tumblr media
Eddie Guerrero Vs Big Bubba
This match goes on for a while. I’m skipping towards the end because who cares about any match involving Big Bubba?
I skip ahead and get this visual.
Tumblr media
Imagine waking up with that hovering over your face. Terrifying. He mumbles “Big Bubba Rogers” but I can’t make anything else out. 
Match ends when Jimmy Hart attempts to throw Bubba his megaphone to use as a weapon. 
Tumblr media
Hart also hugs the referee. 
Tumblr media
Bubba lets go o the megaphone, which goes flying into the air, as Eddie grabs him in a rollup. Eddie gets the three, and that’s that. 
Eddie Guerrero defeats Big Bubba via Pinfall. 
We come back from the break to “the following announcement has been paid for by the New World Order”.
Tumblr media
Cool. I think this is the first time we’ve had one of these on Nitro. The Outsiders and Hogan are in some kind of studio. The camera cuts randomly between them as the nWo music plays in the background. The video begins like a computer game struggling with inconsistent framerate. 
Hogan says “it’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it”. Nash says “people wonder who’s gonna be next? Don’t call us, we’ll call you”. “Yeah,” says Hall. “It’s invitation only, chicos”. 
Tumblr media
We get a shot of the three nWo members, whilst video highlights of Hogan play behind them. Hogan says there’s a new world order, and he hopes that’s okay, because there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Nash lists “power, fame, money, and now our own corporation” as the positives. Hall says “think about it, nWo, we’re new, we’re taking over World Championship Wrestling, and we’re giving all the orders”. Not sure the nWo name really needed an explanation, but OK, sure. Hogan yells “it’s the new way, is that OK, billionaire Ted?” ... not sure if he intended to rhyme or not. Hogan quotes humpty dumpty be saying all of Ted Turner’s horses and all of his men won’t be able to put WCW back together again. That’s the second promo in recent times that’s referenced humpty dumpty. First the Giant, now Hogan. Coincidence, I guess? Or the WCW locker room really loves that nursery rhyme.
Hall starts talking about who the fourth or fifth member of the nWo is going to be, and Hogan starts laughing really loudly. A typical evil villain type laugh which kind of throws Hall for a second.
Tumblr media
Nash is trying not to laugh at Hogan’s cartoon-villain cackle. Hall says that Sting and Luger have gotten soft at “billionaire Ted’s country club”. He says that he and Nash have had to claw and scratch for everything they’ve got, and that they want Sting and Luger. In the ring, I assume/hope. 
Hogan says he almost forgot that he’s wrestling the Giant at Hog Wild for the world title. Liar. He says that he finds it ironic that WCW could be so weak to have to beg for the Giant to save them from the nWo. Hogan says on August 10th the Outsiders will become the Insiders, and with 500,000 “vroom-baa Harley Davidsons” by their side the nWo “will establish itself as the greatest wrestling organisation on the Earth, brother”. 
OK. The nWo is not exactly a wrestling organisation. It’s just a faction with three dudes in it. Later on you could argue it’s more of an organisation, but right now? No. 
Hall calls Sting a “painted face punk” and says “don’t sing it, bring it.” Nash says they call it “Armageddon” and that “Genesis has begun. It’s the beginning of the new world order”. Didn’t expect a shout out to the bible in here but there you go. Hogan finishes the promo by saying that as the Outsiders take care of the “top talent” in WCW, the Giant will crumble at his feet.
Tumblr media
It’s amusing how in these promos Hogan is still basically in Hulk promo mode, yelling, hollering and using big words that don’t necessarily mean what he thinks they mean. Hall and Nash have much calmer, cooler delivery which contrasts quite sharply to Hogan’s more 80′s approach. They pull it together well by editing a lot of Hogan’s stuff to make it more succinct and to the point.
Eric Bischoff has left the broadcast position, leaving Tony and Larry to handle the last fifteen minutes or so of the broadcast. They recap events from earlier in the night. The crowd have had another long wait, between the end of the last match, the nWo promo which none of them would have seen, and now this recap of events earlier in the night that they’re also not seeing. Oh, and they had to sit through long matches involving Jim Duggan, Mike Enos and Big Bubba. I know they got into this show for free, but they still deserve a refund. 
Still, we have the main event left. This is WCW’s chance to replace Arn Anderson with somebody exciting, somebody fresh, somebody who can get the crowd on their feet, somebody who...
Tumblr media
Oh.
Tumblr media
Greg Valentine.
Greg “charisma” Valentine.
I mean, if this was 1986 then this would have been a decent replacement, but it’s not. These poor fans. 
Tumblr media
On the plus side this is unlikely to lost long.
The Giant Vs Greg “the hammer” Valentine
Tumblr media
It’s for all the gold. The WCW world title looked so awesome. 
The Hammer manages to rock the Giant early on with a few chops to the chest and clotheslines. 
Tumblr media
Doesn’t last long though. Giant knocks Valentine down, picks him up, smashes him across the back, then puts him into the corner and chokes him with his boot. Giant then throws Valentine across to the opposite turnbuckle, goes for some kind of weird splash/elbow but misses in a move very obviously telegraphed, yet somehow the cameramen miss it anyway. 
Tumblr media
Valentine heads up top and hits a double axe handle. Giant is momentarily dizzy, but as Valentine scrambles up to the second turnbuckle to try another move, Giant drops the strap on his outfit, runs over and puts his hand around Valentine’s neck.
Tumblr media
Uh oh.
Tumblr media
Splat. Unsatisfied, Giant roars a few times then picks Valentine up and hits a second chokeslam.
Tumblr media
Thanks for coming, Greg. Hey, I’ve just noticed, the dude in the middle on the left with the tash has definitely been at previous shows. So has the woman three to the right from him. I remember her dancing with her daughter to the Nasty Boys theme. The daughter doesn’t appear to be there this time. No Nasty Boys, no interest, I guess. I had no idea WCW had repeated customers for these shows, I always assumed it was just random park guests turning up.
As an aside, check out the guys on the bottom right. Either doing the most awkward wave ever or vicariously living through the Giant chokeslamming poor old Greg. 
The Giant defeats Greg “the hammer” Valentine via Pinfall.
Post-match, Giant leans into the camera and says “I want you to listen real close Hulk Hogan. Pay attention, and listen real close”. He then walks away. I assume he’s going to be interviewed?
Yes, indeed, Mean Gene is in the ring with the Giant. Haven’t seen much of Gene-o tonight. I kind of missed the shit-stirring bell.
Tumblr media
Giant is either ripping a major fart or mocking Hogan’s poses. Hopefully the latter, although Jimmy Hart’s expression suggests it could be the former.
Gene asks Giant about Hog Wild. Giant continues mocking Hogan by saying “well you know something Mean Gene, I’ve been to the top of the mountain brother, I’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death...” Gene pulls the mic away and asks if the Giant has lost his marbles. “That’s a knock off on Hogan!” - no shit, Gene. 
Giant laughs. He says Hogan “conned America”, because he didn’t believe the things he preached. Giant says Hogan started the nWo because he knew he couldn’t be “the big fish in WCW”. Giant says that whilst Hogan has been making movies, he’s been defending the title. Giant says if WCW doesn’t hang together, then they’ll all hang separately, and he’s got a chokeslam noose that’ll fit around Hogan’s neck.
For some reason Okerlund gives the mic to Jimmy Hart, who appears to have taken a shitload of High Voltage’s uppers. He’s all over the place, ranting about “living wrestling 24/7″ and says sometimes he lies so much he believes in his own lies. 
Tumblr media
Hart says that one day he’ll have to pay for the things he’s done, but at Hog Wild, they’ll take Hogan out. Well... OK, then. Sounds like Jimmy is involved in some pretty shady shit.
Gene bids us goodnight from Orlando, and WCW decide to show the Outsiders beating the shit out of the WCW guys one more time. Because why not, I guess? They show a slow mo of Rey getting lawn darted into the trailer, and the show ends with a still shot of this as the Nitro music plays in the background.
Tumblr media
Nice. I’m sure Rey appreciates that.
0 notes
junker-town · 6 years
Text
Watching the National Championship at a Georgia bar is what heartbreak looks like
At a bar in Manhattan, a study in how quickly elation can turn to despair.
MANHATTAN — Joel Williams has waited 24 years, his whole life, for tonight. It’s 7:30, half an hour before Georgia plays Alabama in the National College Football Championship. He stands in front of one of the millions of TVs on the second floor of American Whiskey, the midtown bar that serves as the home away from home for University of Georgia fans. Decked out in Georgia gear, he reaches up to give a wooden ceiling beam violent and unreciprocated high fives.
“This is either gonna be the best or worst day of my life,” Williams says. “This is the only thing I care about. If they lose, I will squirrel dive off this balcony.”
Williams is from Tennessee and went to the University of Tennessee. But his father and grandfather went to Georgia, and the young man has never wavered in his fandom. He’s here with his roommate, a guy he keeps calling Moose, who played football at Holy Cross in Worcester, MA. Moose is all-in on the Dawgs now — he’s wearing a Georgia jersey that Matches Williams’, and a Georgia visor, too. Living with or loving a Georgia die-hard seems to result in fandom by osmosis: Most of the faithful in here have brought along roommates, significant others, or business partners that they have enveloped in their passion like hungry amoebas.
“We’ve been through decades of bullshit,” says Amanda Mull, a writer in New York City who grew up in Atlanta and went to UGA. She’s on the alumni board and watches every game here.
“It’s been forty years,” she continues. “It’s so long that we’re just happy to have you along for the ride.”
Among the consumed (most of whom are from the Northeast) is Kevin Hooshangi, who owns American Whiskey. He’s currently manning the DJ booth behind one of the bars on the first floor, which starting to feel like a sardine can, but it doesn’t yet smell as bad and it’s much more exciting. Hoosanghi grew up playing football on Long Island. He went to NYU — which is not exactly known for its athletic prowess — so when one of his buddies from home ended up at Georgia, he and his high school friends hopped on the bandwagon.
“I fell in love with the history,” Hooshangi says, adjusting his red blazer with a bulldog printed on the inner lining. “I related to it on a football level; all the running backs and the pro-style offense. I love the SEC, some of the traditions. I just thought they were an easy group to cheer for.”
Hooshangi owned a bar called the Village Pourhouse, and, in 2006, started dreaming of opening a bar devoted to Georgia with the Pourhouse’s Georgia-born-and-bred bar manager Robbie York. It just so happened that the UGA alumni board was looking for a new bar to host game days at in 2012, when Hooshangi and York were planning to open American Whiskey. They made a deal, and have been so successful that they’re thinking of opening bars in Georgia, too — one in Athens and one in Atlanta. York is at the game in Atlanta tonight.
Charlotte Wilder
Kevin Hooshangi, owner of American Whiskey, the biggest Georgia bar in New York City.
Jonas Vargas walks by. He’s wearing a small Georgia jersey and throwing himself at people’s legs. The seven-month-old bulldog is the shortest, youngest, and most expensive fan in here — he hails from the breeder that supplies Yale with its mascots. Jonas cost Joey Vargas, his owner and the beverage director for American Whiskey, an arm and a leg. He’s been worth it.
Hooshangi puts on Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.” The place erupts in indeterminable screaming as the TVs show Jake Fromm, Georgia’s 19-year-old freshman quarterback, striding through the tunnel (“our sweet baby boy!” someone yells).
Everyone in here knows that their 13-1 Georgia Bulldogs can beat Nick Saban’s football Death Star, the team that has won four championships in the last eight years. It’s hard to tell whether there are more boos and “fuck you!”s for Saban or Donald Trump, who is on the field for the national anthem and doing a terrible job of appearing to know the words.
At kickoff, this bar sounds as loud as an an aircraft carrier in full swing. It’s hot, and humid, and smells like college: spilled beer, sweat, and hope. The mix of screams and the sound of the broadcast and the thumping bass is intoxicating (as is the beer and whiskey, which people are doing a really good job of drinking). The hugs and high fives are endless, physical manifestations of what it looks like to care so much about something that doesn’t matter at all and is also the most important thing in the world.
Georgia is playing a hell of a game. The Bulldogs are up 20 to 10 going into the fourth quarter. Hooshangi is in his element behind the bar, sweating profusely through his jacket as he juggles three phones and an iPad to work the sound system. He’s surrounded by his regulars, who are all confident that UGA’s got this, despite Georgia’s history of blowing big leads in football games. They have faith.
Charlotte Wilder
I check on Williams, who’s cheering, staring at the TV, and seems to have forgotten how to blink. I ask how he’s doing, and he says he’s good, he believes. But then Fromm gets sacked and he turns to me.
“Get out of here,” Williams says. “You can’t stand here. You’re bad luck.”
I oblige, and move across the room. Alabama ties the game up. Silence settles over the bar save for the announcer’s voices booming through the speakers. Then Georgia gets what appears to be a huge interception and everyone goes nuts again.
But it’s overturned. A “fuck that shit” chant gets going. People are so drunk that they’re swaying back and forth even when they try to stand still. Makeup is running down cheeks, sweat is pouring through shirts. Fans are screaming at the TV through Bama’s final drive, but then the Tide get within field goal range, and the place gets quiet again.
Alabama’s kicker misses. They’re still in it. Hope springs. Heads hit the ceiling. Bodies fly. Geysers of beer shoot into the air. Everyone is jumping up and down, crushing each other, as the beer drips from the ceiling and Georgia marches down the field in overtime. President Rodrigo once again makes a kick. All UGA has to do is stop Alabama and the Dawgs will have won the national title for the first time since 1980.
But they don’t. They don’t stop them. Alabama’s freshman backup quarterback Tua Tagovailoa makes a perfect throw to DeVonta Smith, who scores a touchdown, and just like that, the game is over.
Georgia loses.
The bar goes silent again. No one is talking, but everyone is looking at each other, shaking their heads. Some embrace. A man faces the wall and leans against it. One woman puts her head in her hands and starts crying. I look around and realize that many others are, too, some softly, some with huge, heaving sobs that shake their shoulders.
Williams has stopped pounding the ceiling beam. As soon as the game ends he leaves Moose and his other friends and walks straight to the bar to close out. He stands there, hands over his mouth, as he waits for the bill. He signs it, then makes eye contact as he walks by me. I start to open my mouth but he just shakes his head and walks down the stairs and out of the bar. His eyes look red.
The place empties out fast. It’s 12:30 in the morning, and the few fans who stick around look dazed, as though they’re not sure how to get themselves out of here — both this bar and the pit of despair they’ve fallen into. One woman starts trash talking Alabama. Her friends just sush her.
“I’m okay with it,” Mull says. “Honestly. We had that incredible win at the Rose Bowl. We weren’t going to get two games like that in a row.”
Hooshangi is still behind the bar, alone now. He seems tired, but not angry. He puts on “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” to drown out the sounds of Alabama’s celebration, but cuts the song off right before Charlie Daniels can sing, “If you lose, the Devil gets your soul.”
He looks at the TV, where confetti is getting caught up in Saban’s hair. The coach hoists the trophy with his fifth championship team in nine years.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I wanted to give you the Cinderella ending.”
0 notes