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clo-thespin · 23 days

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dude i dont think people that dont watch x files understand that its not just 'that show about aliens'. the x files is fucking insane. i mean, yeah, theres episodes about aliens but theres also episodes about:

cockroaches, robots, shit, and entomologists. or, more specifically, a town thats been infested with cockroaches by the government and is being observed by an entomologist named bambi. and in this town, people are dying in ways that appear to be caused by the cockroaches but really its just an allergic reaction, an aneurysm, drugs, and a heart attack. and then a fucking manure plant blows up and covers everyone in cow shit. oh and also some of the cockroaches are robotic, so :)

a man whose shadow vaporises people. thats- thats pretty much it.

a prehistoric lake monster, moby dick, and the search for the truth (or a white whale, whats the difference?) the lake monster is eating people and dogs :(, mulder and scully get trapped on a rock in the 'middle' of the lake, and the monster is really just an alligator.

cher, frankenstein's monster, and peanut butter. this episode's in black and white btw. someones going around and hotboxing peoples houses with animal tranqs and then impregnating peoples wives. this 'someone' is actually a man whose been mutated due to experiments done on him by his father. mulder and scully take this guy to a cher concert at the end. (one of the best scenes, iykyk)

#the x files #mulder and scully #mulder #scully #like unless you watch the show its really just 'that scifi show from the 90s'#which is SO not true #is IS a scifi #but also-#its a romance #its a comedy #see: clyde bruckman's and bad blood #its a horror #see: unruhe and roadrunners #i wish there was a musical episode so i could say its a musical #the closest we got to that was detour #and there was only like a minute of singing #:(((

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wednesdayfunnys · 3 months

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things the boys use as conversation starters that everyone who doesnt already love them finds really really fucking annoying

stan: complaining and oversharing. “oh my god i had the worst night ever i feel terrible i barely slept and my dad’s driving me crazy and i wanna put a gun in my mouth im not even close to kidding”

kyle: criticism/pointing out a flaw/pointing out something off about you today. anything from “dude, you look like shit, whats wrong?” to “oh my god what are you wearing??” to inserting himself into an ongoing conversation with a loud and passionate contradiction bc hes jUst bLunt

eric: bragging, usually about things not worth bragging about, like his “epic” trips to the bathroom or the 5 views he got on some video he posted online.

kenny: wildly explicit stories in graphic detail like hes doing standup. sometimes his sex dreams, sometimes a porno he’s seen, sometimes a straight up made up story. he’s looking for laughs.

butters: really really boring mundane stories. “yesterday i went to the grocery store with my mom and what do you know it they moved the ketchup across the store again! geez louise we must have hunted for that stuff for half an hour! that store sure does like to move their stock around.” he might as well be talking to himself

tweek: inocherent babbling about whatever he’s fucked up about today with not much context. also he will explain the entire plot of a movie or episode of a show he likes without taking a breath and he does not say hello first

craig: snide comments. stuff that can really only be answered with “dude fuck you”

clyde: gives you a girl’s name and demands you rate on a scale from one to ten

jimmy: dad jokes in the vein of “hey why are watermelons always having weddings? because they cantaloupe :D”

tolkien: self deprecating rich boy humble bragging

#eric cartman #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #south park #butters stotch #tweek tweak #craig tucker #tolkien black #clyde donovan #jimmy valmer #headcanon #i just think its fun

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a-libra-writes · 1 month

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can I please request for a Mordecai Heller x female reader? like reader is a showgirl who sings on stage like Mitzi one and tends to attract a lot of attention but backs out when they feel this murdercat plotting their death lmao. thank you 😁

heyo! I decided to do a looot of the cats for this one, since its p similar to my Peaky Blinders Jazz Singer post that I was fond of. GN Reader.

Being a Jazz Singer & Performer!

Rocky - When he was hired and met you for the first time, it was absolutely an "infatuation at first sight" situation. Pros!: He's unfailingly polite and sweet, he seems to play with even more energy when you two share a stage, his grin is very off-putting to creeps who shout up at the stage and harass you. Cons: He can get quite distracted when you two share a stage. Many times Zib has had to pull him back with the rest of the band, because he keeps unintentionally scooting closer to you.

The worst part of the Lackadaisy falling onto hard times is the fact you rarely worked there now - you had to sing at other clubs to make ends meet. One of Rocky's big motivators for getting the club back to its old self is you'd come back! Forever this time! (Probably). Rocky doesn't exactly have the time or money to visit the other clubs you work at, so he wants all of your attention during your infrequent visits to the Lackdaisy.

Freckle - Look, he's a shy kid, and the whole 'sneaking out under cover of night to do bootlegging/torpedo shenanigans' is still new. He doesn't have a lot of experience or frame of reference for what a good club singer is like, but Freckle thinks you've got to be one of the best. You have to be, right? Your voice is wonderful and you look positively celestial under the stage lights - wait, that's weird to think, right? Thank God he didn't say it out loud. ... He didn't, right?

Freckle hasn't the slightest idea of how to approach you, so it's up to Ivy and his cousin to drag him over and attempt conversation. It's... a little pitiable, but he's trying. That said, he's surprisingly outspoken and a little scary if someone tried to mess with you while you performed. You're used to the heckles and catcalls, but it's shocking to see that shy tabby jump up from his seat and raise his voice at them.

Ivy - She liked you from the moment she first saw you perform at the Lackdaisy, and that crush hasn't dulled over the months. She maaaay have kept a few posters that advertised the clubs you sang at, and may or may not have cajoled her way into those clubs so she could watch the show. She could easily sweet talk her way to backstage, too - seems you've got a fan.

When the Lackadaisy goes downhill, it's Ivy who wants to sweet talk you into returning. You'll bring in a crowd! The acoustics are great! Pretty pleeease? Her dad Ivy will pay you and not get in trouble until months later when the family accountant goes over the finances. Obviously she cares about the club's wellbeing, but she also wants to spend time with you! Though she's bold enough to just ask you outright. She's also bold enough to outright shout and fight anyone whose heckling you - throwing a heel is a favorite tactic.

Viktor - You're someone he saw often in the olden days, back when the club could afford to have you perform several times a week rather than once a month. Viktor never cared much for the cacophony the crowd and music made, though he knew objectively you were an excellent performer. Rather than endure the crowd, he'd listen to your voice drift across the caves backstage, rehearsing with the band or just by yourself. It was pleasant to listen to, and he could do so in private, either coming back from a job or about to go on one.

Once things began to fall apart, it's not as though he went around to clubs ... or anywhere, really. So if you stopped performing at the Lackadaisy, you might never see each other again. Choosing to stay (or at least do a few pity gigs) would lead to the surprising sight of the big, morose Slav working behind the bar and watching from there, rather than his previous hideouts. It's a little intense to be under that stare... but not all unpleasant? And given how sparse the crowd is, anyone making trouble and catcalling will get dealt with so promptly, they won't even have time to finish their wolf whistle.

Zib - Well, obviously he's going to be drawn in by an attractive singer. Come on. Zib can be smooth when he wants, chainsmoker-scent and rumpled clothes aside. The band likes to tease him mercilessly about it, but that doesn't stop him from cozying up while you two perform together and shooting his shot backstage after every show. Back when the Lackadaisy was thriving, he could afford to hang out at the other clubs you performed at; nowadays, though, that's not so likely.

Even so, starting up a friendship or even fling wouldn't be difficult. He's attracted to and interested in creative spirits, doubly so if you two had very different taste (so there's more to discuss!) and you got on well with the rest of the band. Late-night debates about this musician or that show over a game of cards and several bottles of wine, either together or with the rest of the boys, and waking up half-dressed and seriously hungover come sunrise. Opportunities for visiting would dwindle as the Lackadaisy's business dried up, though if you stayed on ... No, he wouldn't want that for you. If anything you'd be mentioning to him and the band that there's other places to perform to pay the bills. Well, it'd be food for thought.

Wick - Wick wouldn't call himself a music aficionado, especially what's listened to at these rowdy speakeasies, but he won't deny how hard it was to focus on his business associates when you were on stage. So when he discovered you often performed at his favorite club, it was a pleasant surprise. He really wanted to speak with you at some point, at least compliment the performance, but didn't want to come off as those typical entitled wealthy guys who get too fresh with ""lower"" class performers ... so sometimes you'd find flowers in the dressing room and an anonymous note of appreciation.

He finally gets a conversation when you're a guest at a posh party he's attending, or when you continue to perform at the Lackadaisy in spite of the dwindling crowd. It's a shame your large audience is missing, but at least it's way less awkward for him to strike up conversation when you come to the bar? He probably won't bring up the flowers. Oh god, what if you think that's weird. You probably assumed the flowers were some freak fan. Is he a freak fan? He's not, right? (It will take him like months of dating to finally admit to the flowers thing)

Serafine - A good-looking cat with a nice set of pipes is certainly someone she'd notice, especially if they were a regular performer at the Marigold Room and other places she frequented before that. If it was the former, she'd have plenty of chances to wink when you met eyes, "chancing" across you backstage or just being forward and chatting you up after the show. She certainly isn't shy about expressing her interest, and it could be a fun fling.

You do look adorable swinging your hips and swaying your tail along to the beat, not to mention the different get-ups you have to dress in. Serafine maaaay or may not have wanted to help pick a suit out, or help with make-up, or give you some of her jewelry to wear... It's half marking her territory and half she loves to lounge around your dressing room and be a pest. You'd never kick her out and she knows it. She'll do it in other clubs, too, though you have no idea how she keeps getting past security.

Nico - Like his sister, he has no qualms nor shame about trying to get your attention on stage. Unlike Serafine, though, he'd start doing it immediately and be a general pest after the show. The difference between his attention seeking and the other men's in the audience is he actually has some charisma when you two meet backstage, so you're only slightly inclined to tell him to buzz off. He wasn't much of a music expert, and he still isn't ... But he likes hearing you rehearse and hum to yourself, and it's endearing when he requests songs.

He's pleased when you get gigs at the Marigold Room, as it's easier to hang around before and after the show - and bonus, he gets to be extra aggressive with throwing creeps out to impress you! But if you're performing elsewhere then Nico will stop by. He might be bruised and/or bloody because he just left a job, but don't worry! Sometimes he'll even bring flowers or whatever - though without Serafine knowing, she'd never let him live it down.

Mordecai - He wouldn't approach you any differently from others - he'd still be his usual prickly, anti-social, often awkward self - in fact, he might avoid an avid performer, simply because they often have fans around them or at least people recognizing them. What could get his notice was someone whose real persona is very different from their ostentatious self on stage - more quiet and pensive, perhaps. Like any attempt at friendship, let alone romance, it's slow going with him.

That said, he's the type to admire professionalism in a performance. A well put together outfit, thoughtful musical arrangement (as if he's an expert ...). He wouldn't like a femme presenting singer have to wear skimpy clothes or tolerate a rowdy audience. If there was a questionable manager or creepy fan bothering them, Mordecai can deal with that, at least, not that he'd tell his friend/partner. Mordecai would generally glare down any touchy fans and annoying admirers like a jealous terrier. This amuses Mitzi to no end.

Asa - Simply put, he saw you performing at a ritzy party he was invited to and reached out to your manager so you might perform on a weekly basis at the Marigold Room. Very professional! He'd send flowers with his name to the dressing room afterward, would make sure you're finding everything to your liking and not being bothered by anyone. Requests to continue performing would bypass your manager to being nice, short handwritten notes.

Eventually he'd pay you extra and treat you to a nice dinner afterward, if you were comfortable with it. If you let the older man down, he's not too bothered. He'd continue the friendly business relationship and would still send flowers and so on. He'd rather keep you as a good business associate and continue to enjoy the performances than let his silly feelings get in the way. Alas, he is hopeless at discussions of your music. My guy called a ukelele a tiny guitar.

Wes - He never hung around the Marigold Room after hours - it's his workplace, and not really his vibe - but it's very hard to resist not sitting by for an hour (or three) with a drink while you finish your set. Sometimes you two will meet eyes, or he thinks you are, and he considers dropping backstage to say ... hello? He's an 'employee', so isn't checking up on you a normal thing to do? Make sure you're satisfied with the Marigold Room and all that. Right.

Ironically that's how he's finally able to meet the singer he's been mooning over for months. A drunk patron was getting too cozy on your way out, and Wes happened to be there. His face and ... charming demeanor is good for scaring off upper class wimps. So there's that. He's not so bad, though - clumsy, and prooobably realizes you're out of his league. You get to see more of his earnest side when you two meet outside of the Marigold Room, where his fellow murderous gangsters coworkers aren't watching yalls every move with popcorn in hand.

#posting 1 year later lets go lmao #lackadaisy x reader #rocky rickaby x reader #calvin mcmurray x reader #ivy pepper x reader #viktor vasko x reader #zib zibowski x reader #wick sable x reader #serafine savoy x reader #nico savoy x reader #mordecai heller x reader #asa sweet x reader #wes clyde x reader #also lmao sorry mordecai would not take a singer/semi famous partner well. too much attention #its funny to think abt tho like. cannot imagine this man has taste in upbeat jazz #cant even pretend to dance at least calvin tries!

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mercisnm · 3 months

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'How like a winter hath my absence been from thee...'

A warm spring sunrise over English countryside landscape, featuring two lovely ladies out for an early morning stroll.

While @clydethistles Regency-period-Jane-Austen-inspired AU (Austen AU for short) Affections And Adorations did not feature any scene at sunrise, the moment I saw this photo of English countryside my mind was immediately overcome with the need to see Tissaia and Yennefer from Clyde's story over that backdrop. I can use buzzwords like mutual pining and it's about the yearning to describe the story but then it would be undermining for such a lovely work, and undoubtedly one of my favourite fics of all time. I am forever in awe at the research and thoughtfulness Clyde put into crafting it, be it either in form of the details about everyday life from the time period or of the language of the narration and conversation, be it either manifested as the graceful incorporation of Austen-esque storytelling elements and archetypes or as our author's very own endeavour to write a heart-wrenching queer love story realistic for and true to its historical period setting.

The point is: the fic was completed quite recently and you should read it, or catch up with it if you haven't, you definitely should, thank me later.

Bonus: the lines, before I throw colours all over it like an excitable raccoon on crack:

#tissaia de vries #yennefer of vengerberg #sometimes i draw things #clydethistles #austen au #might look like ill wax poetic about this story but in fact im a possum screaming its little possum lungs out when it comes to clyde's fics #also they say actions speak louder than words #so i think drawing dry tree branches for two evenings straight would be much louder than actually saying anything #yes if those tree branches look painful to draw its because they were. they made my wrist quite sore #but that only applies to ME. YOU should leave a comment

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coulsart · 7 months

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Don’t know if I ever posted them, but in 2022 I revamped some characters from a puppetcore universe I made a few years ago!! Recently i’ve gotten interested in them again and have been designing more characters for the universe ;)

Lore and ugly art from 2019 under the cut😭😭

Bonus credit to @themorbidjam for working on it with me👍

In the vibrant city of Brightville, many odd characters reside. The denizens come in all shapes, colors and sizes. And with very durable bodies, they can handle intense amounts of physical trauma, many seen simply walking away from a serious car accident or 100 foot fall.

While they cannot die by any normal means, something dark plagues the town at night. The “withered”. These creatures stalk the streets, searching for any citizen foolish enough to step out after dark. Those caught, well… they’re never seen again. At least, not as they were…

Fearful of the withered, none of the citizens dare speak of their nightly troubles. Not only that, using profanity, drinking, or engaging in any other impure things are strictly forbidden. Disregard of these rules could trigger an early night, spelling danger for the people.

No one knows the origin or reason for the oppressive dark, nor the strange, blacked out creatures that stalk within.

#couls art #couls doodles #oc #ocs #OLD ART WARNING AUUHGHHH #IM KINDA SHY ABOUT IT BUT I REALLY WANT TO POST A NEW CONCEPT USHGDHDHDH #cartoon #monsters #briteville #its not an original name thats the point #but it is subject to change djjfjfj #cRINGE WIP #BUT I FEEL WRONG POSTING CHARACTERS WITHOUT CONTEXT #jack #clyde #charlie

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angelsanarchy · 10 months

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One Long Weekend: - Clyde/YN One-Shot Series CH 03

"I'm not a serial killer he says.." "To be fair, I said I wasn't a stalker."

FRIDAY, 11:00PM (TW: Drug-use)

The place looked a little worse for wear but still very livable. A lot of decently priced places in the area were about the same. People hung outside, in the hallways and just sort of congregated from apartment to apartment like a college dorm.

"Welcome to my humble abode." Clyde left the door wide open for whoever to come and go. Y/n took in the general state of the apartment and chuckled catching his attention.

"Hey...no judgements. I'm a man. Men live like this." Clyde defended.

"Yeah? I didn't realize men didn't own a trashcan...or a laundry basket." Y/n held up some random boxers resting on the coffee table. Clyde had spun around with a shotgun pointed at her making her freeze.

"You were saying?" Clyde teased.

"I'm not a serial killer he says...and yet here he is holding me at gunpoint." Y/n carefully placed his underwear on the barrel of the gun.

"To be fair, I said I wasn't a stalker." Clyde corrected flicking the underwear off the gun.

"Damn...well you got me there." Y/n put her hands up sheepishly and Clyde smirked.

"Does that make you scared?" Clyde might be a lot of things but scary wasn't one of them.

"Is that what you're trying to do? Scare me?" Y/n stepped towards the end of the rifle and Clyde's eyebrow went up.

"Not particularly." Clyde shifted. Y/n took the end of the shotgun into her hand and appeared to be inspecting it.

"Good because I don't scare easy." Y/n turned back towards the couch and plopped down, taking her jacket off and tossing her bag on the floor. Clyde lowered the gun and laughed.

"Oh yeah? What does scare you then?" Clyde plopped down in a chair facing her.

"You first." Y/n challenged.

"Easy. Goats." Clyde's quick answer with his very serious face made y/n snort out a laugh.

"Goats? Why the hell are you afraid of goats?" She tried to say without crying laughing.

"They're aggressive little fuckers who like to head butt, scale fucking mountains and scream in your face. They're like kids on crack. They're the fucking worst." Clyde explained pulling his phone out and showing y/n a clip of a goat climbing on the side of a mountain awkwardly.

"That...that is pretty startling to say the least. Goats...cannot be trusted." Y/n shook her head trying to rationalize Clyde's fear but in all her years in Nevada, she's never even seen a goat.

"Your turn. What scares you? Clearly not guns." Clyde pointed out.

"This is Vegas. If you haven't been held at gunpoint, can you even call yourself a resident?" Y/n shrugged.

"That's actually super true. I've been shot at way too many times to count." Clyde admitted.

"That's...not shocking at all." Johnny cleared his throat and they looked up.

"Let me snag the keys, I'm going to get some food. The guys and I are starving." Clyde dug in his pocket for the keys and tossed them up to Johnny.

"Do you eat meat?" Clyde asked earning a nod.

"Grab us food too. I'll take it off your gas cash." Before Johnny could argue for money, Clyde was quick to make a food for gas trade. The others filled out after Johnny and shut the door leaving the two sitting in the middle of the room.

They sat in silence for a minute adjusting to being alone together.

"So do you live here alone or does everyone just kind of crash around?" Y/n took in her surroundings. There was only one bed, if you can call it that, that sat on the floor with a bunch of blankets, a big bean bag chair in the corner, the raggedy couch and an armchair that's seen better days. It was a lot more furniture than she would have expected for one person.

"Nah I kind of consider it a bit of a halfway house. Everyone's going somewhere but we all need to crash for a bit. The guys have a room at the end of the hallway and then one across the hall for any girls they bring home for-" Clyde made a hand gesture and y/n laughed.

"You guys have a fucking apartment? Yikes, the smells alone from that room would give me chills." Clyde shook his head.

"I honestly wouldn't know. I don't really frequent that room. It stays pretty occupied anyway." He laughed. Y/n took in a mental note that Clyde didn't seem like someone who brought a lot of girls back to his place for fucking but almost like he was providing sanctuary.

"Oh I have no doubts. Plus you look like a wine and dine kind of guy. Big activities, good music, decent food. A real gentlemen." Y/n turned her body towards him.

"Absolutely. I'm a real Casanova and you're in for a treat." Clyde walked over to his nightstand and rummaged around inside of it pulling out a tray and a lighter, shimming over to plop down next to y/n on the couch.

"The only activity of the evening is to get decently high...if you're cool with that." Clyde hadn't bothered asking but took in her face to make sure he hadn't offended.

"I mean it sounds more like a 3rd date but since you've been stalking me for a minute, I think this will work just fine." Clyde rolled his eyes at her, bringing the blunt to his lips to moisten. The two sat with their knees touching, Clyde rolling at least three blunts knowing that the moment the guys got back, they would want dibs and like clockwork the door swung open and a bag was tossed at y/n.

Clyde merely held up the two blunts and Johnny snatched them with a cheeky grin before bounding back out of the door. The fries in the bag were soggy and the burgers looked like they had been thrown against a wall but y/n wasn't picky. She held out a french fry to Clyde's mouth as held the blunt between his fingers unable to put it down yet.

Something familiar and comfortable settled between them like they had done this for years.

"Jesus what the fuck happened to that?" Clyde gestured to the burger y/n was trying to pick up.

"I'm going to assume it was run over but I'm honestly starving so I'm going to eat it anyway." Y/n didn't hesitate taking a bite and Clyde lit the blunt between his lips. He watched y/n look for a place she could find a napkin and he ran to the bathroom, retrieving a roll of toilet paper and putting it down on the table. She tried not to laugh as she unrolled some to wipe her hands.

Clyde passed the blunt to y/n who took a small hit making sure she didn't choke and embarrass herself, knowing she would deserve all the teasing from Clyde because of his cigarette disaster earlier.

"This is decent weed." Y/n commented.

"Are you surprised?" Clyde asked.

"Kind of. Do you work or do you come from money?" Y/n's question was genuine but Clyde seemed offended.

"What does that matter?" He scoffed.

"That wasn't meant as an insult. I'm just trying to figure out if you're crushing it as a hype man or if you're secretly the son of one of the current Strip residencies." Clyde seemed to simmer.

"I can assure you I am not the son of Vince Neil." She handed him the blunt back and pushed the hair from his face.

"No shit. You would not be this cute if your dad was Vince Neil." Y/n's compliment brought Clyde's mood right back up.

"Aw all I had to do was feed you and get you high and now you're back to trying to have my babies again." Clyde teased nudging her.

"I'm a simple girl. I like simple things." She gave a cheeky grin as his laugh turned into a cough.

"Oh so you like me because I'm simple? Should I be hurt by that or-"

"I'd hardly call you simple. You barrel rolled out of a club, tried to fight a bouncer that was three times your size and brought home a girl you've had a psychic connection with just to point a shotgun at her. Khakis are simple. Grilled cheese is simple." Y/n's explanation of her thoughts on Clyde thus far made a warmth grow in his stomach.

"Man you're really going to hold the whole shotgun thing against me huh? Would it help if I said it wasn't loaded?" Clyde offered.

"That would be so pointless. You literally keep your door open and unlocked with decent weed and at least a few hundred dollars worth of stuff. If it's not loaded, I'd say you're stupid." Clyde passed the blunt back nodding.

"You make a valid point." Y/n turned her body towards Clyde, holding the blunt in her hands but not bringing it to her lips.

"I could probably get over the whole shotgun thing if you let me give it right back." Clyde looked confused. He wasn't sure what she meant or if she was too high to make sense.

"I'm not up for being tasered while being high. I think that would definitely kill the high." Clyde whined weakly

"Open your lips." Y/n instructed. Clyde watched her put the blunt between her lips backwards and lean towards his face, putting her hands on his cheeks. Clyde almost forgot to breathe before she started exhaling the thick smoke between his lips, letting her bottom lip graze his. She was shotgunning the smoke so well, Clyde had to stop himself from super sucking the blunt into his mouth.

When she pulled away to pull the blunt out of her mouth, he laid back into the couch feeling the warmth that was in his stomach turn into a burn that was quickly spreading through his veins.

Y/n knew exactly what she was doing to Clyde and she had no regrets. This was the most relaxed fun she's had in a long time. Something about spending time with him made her feel free.

#electrick children #Clyde x y/n #Clyde #One Shot Series #One Long Weekend #Rory Culkin #I've got two more coming today #I will make a “masterlist” so its easier to follow/find #One Long Weekend Series #3/18

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