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#its bad and it sucks and theres nothing good about it
fatmaclover · 2 days
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theres something to be said about how mac still holds such a childish adoration for his parents after such a long time. how literally its shown to us by the fact that
mac always slicked his hair back as a child, when he still had contact with his father
he stops doing this into adulthood, but later in life, once mac interacts with his father again, he starts slicking his hair back again
he doesnt stop. slicking his hair back. until his own father walks out during his coming out performance. the guy he put it on for. only after that does he completely stop styling his hair that way
not to mention the constant refusal that his mom (and dad) could be anything but perfect, the way hes so desperate to do good by them, viewing them as the way to measure his success...
and. yeah thats. something.
the internal denial that his parents treated him poorly, the fact that its his primary instinct to deny that his parents suck, the constant dismissal of his own issues relating to family because his whole life hes been told that "other people have it worse". the way hes internalized that so hard. the way it takes his dad walking out on macs coming out performance to him for mac to stop blindly idolizing some guy whos threatened to kill him
the constant fear of his own father, while also believing him to be the coolest bestest guy ever. the way he always assumes his father is gonna get violent when actually talking to him, but sings nothing but praises when away from him
the fact that he still calls his dad "daddy" even.
i mean you cant really blame him for not fully growing up in some areas huh
its not even that i think he doesnt know that his parents treat him horribly, it just really seems like he wants so badly to believe thats not the case from years of having his cries for help ignored or made fun of. he cant have been treated poorly, because charlie was treated poorly, and his baggage isnt nearly as bad as charlies, so clearly macs home life wasnt bad.
i think thats proven most of all by his frustration with his own family at times, it really feels like theres some underlying issues. they can very quickly manifest as frustration and anger, but honestly its probably mostly sadness. the way he reacts to his own mother really reminds me of how i interact with family members i have grudges with but have to pretend i dont. im not actually angry at any of these people, im mostly just exhausted by them.
he very clearly is still aware of the neglect he faced as a kid, to me. he knows his home life was severely fucked up, hes just never been able to express that, so hes coped by just. pretending that it didnt happen.
and realistically i dont know if he could ever properly acknowledge that his home life was fucked and his parents suck. maybe hed acknowledge that his dad sucks now, but it wouldnt have been that bad when he was a kid and wasnt a fag. right? he was loved then. his mom still did a great job raising him, and he really loves her, and he was raised with all the love and care a child needs.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months
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#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing#ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like#visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do#so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible#mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done#but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing#how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate#and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem#it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research#assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head#and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck#it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads#to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed#bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me#so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a#slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would#b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated
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bobsquatley · 6 months
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i am NOT having a good night
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dykedragons · 2 years
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spyro movie script got leaked and WOW im glad it got cancelled.
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iiapple · 2 years
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why are we hating on ii? /gen
because its fun
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miiversian · 3 days
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randomly feel like going scorched earth with vchuuber fanart now. lol ! (disclaimer this is a 4 am post, mostly stemming off me realizing im losing my old passion & interest in the funny vee chuubers)
its mostly just cause i was more interested in their personas' lore than the actual streams/streamer in the first place... so seeing everyone get excited and hype over big events and me not being able to share that hype anymore (mostly due to my oshi retiring & the big group dynamic changing) has been crazy alienating
tldr never interact with a big fanbase worst mistake of my life. the discourse is fucking crazy lmao
#shoutout to u7trakill for finally ending a nearly 2 year toxic parasocial relationship lmao!#tbf my experience over the past 1.75 years has been#80 percent good/neutral and like 20% negative#tldr being a vtuber fan has put me in presence of the craziest mood swings for the longest periods of time#mostly gonna blame it on the fans and less the streamer themselves#bc guess what!! twt is a hellhole!!#n it doesnt help that a big chunk of fans are *those* types of anime fans#ie fucking freaks#and i hated that i had to share a space with them#YES curate your own experience. whatever.#doesnt change the fact that i still had to occasionally bear witness to the WORST kinds of ppl#liking pure straight up fiction is way less messy than liking streamers lol#sorry if that came off really harsh#its just. im fed up lmao#the highs of interacting with the fanbase when we had our highs was amazing#but GOD the lowest lows sucked so so so bad and there was/is infighting#anyway im rambling#doesnt help that ppl keep bringing up a very sour moment the fans had that id honestly wish wed forget about!! but they!! keep bringing it u#and to be fair!!! it was BAD#but i wish theyd stop implying the Event in every 'fan etiquette' post#i hold SO MUCH regret over that event even if i didnt go as far as some other fans did#and honestly! i cant believe it even happened! thats how bad it was#and it very obvs affected him HARD#but i really REALLY wish we would just. treat it as a yeah this happened thing now#bc hes Graduated. under mysterious circumstances#and theres nothing we can do now!#hate to be a past is in the past person but what can you fucking do!!!#delete later#deepest sigh#vent post
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and what if i tell you the thirteen minute flight was by an estate company because she long sold that jet, i don't think y'all are here for reason. accept it taylor swift is the poster child for your hate
the thing is you people are so hateful towards her that you don't care about the actual issue but bringing her down.
awh, you know me so well............... im free tomorrow night if you are?
#taylor swift#look. im fine with discussing the nuance in these situations. i have consistently and you'd know that if you took a quick scroll#i like taylor swift as a person as a musician and as a businesswoman overall but lately it has not been minor issues#or things that can be swept away#the fact is that she holds an immense amount of power right now and she is squandering all the good she can do with it#i believe she should cut down her carbon emissions just as i believe anyone on that top 10 list should.#like where is steven spielberg even flying to that much??? there is absolutely no excuse.#and we can argue that it's for the tour but taylor swift was the biggest celebrity carbon emitter of 2022 -- theres a Yard article on it#i can share the link if you'd like but its a quick google search. she was not on tour during that time.#and i believe that she is just as awful for being a billionaire because there is no ethical way to hoard that much money as rihanna and#jay z and paul mccartney are#the reason i talk more about taylor swift is 1) i genuinely just know more about her and am a fan so i have a right to criticize#and 2) she arguably has more influence than all of those people combined right now. over wealth she has power and the public eye on her#does it suck? yeah. but clearly not enough because she's still doing what she does at the same level#i dont hate her. i just dont like her very much. at least not right now.#and this is JUST economic and environmental issues to say NOTHING about political and social issues. i dont need her to acknowledge#everything and anything. but maybe three headlines in the new york times. she can pick the timeline#i probably shouldve made this its own post but tbh. i dont care that much especially not if yall are reading it in bad faith#asks#the tree speaks#ily anon
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yelloworangesoda · 3 months
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"i hate when a song i like gets popular on tiktok and now people make fun of you for liking the tiktok song/now the artist keeps trying to recreate the popularity" "oh so you hate when artists get recognition" NOBODY SAID THAT its not a gatekeepy thing!! like its sometimes a gatekeepy thing but when thats not what people are doing youre being reductive and annoying
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heartyearning · 9 months
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fennel green apple salmon salad fuck yeah !!!!!!!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months
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#im just gonna complain abt it here bc i just have to accept that i can't irl bc no one else gets it#its hard to b a dyslexic grad student. u have to read so much. and its good. lots of reading is good. u just have to contend with a soul#crushing amout of discouragement at the fact u just kinda cant read while ur peers r like sure i can read this in class and have things to#say abt it. if u make me read in my head in class i literally cannot fucking tell u what i just read. not a god damn thing and if i try to#let my computer read to me i cant fucking pay attention for long enough so i just have to accept that from here on out ill have to#physically read papers aloud which i hate so much. its the only way i can fucking understand things and it still makes me feel dumb bc ill#somehow still space out while reading and have to reread like 4 times before i understand wtf is being said. it takes forever and it takes#energy and i dont like talking very much and it also restricts me to only being able to read at home which is frustrating#and im like i need to stop my brain from distracting myself with things that dont matter and my counselor is like: ur ocd is trying to make#work ur whole life and im like yeah thats how i got it. its the only way i can keep swimming with the non dyslexics#so its like wtf do i do? i kinda have to take the hit and make work my whole life rn. morn the loss of other things for a while#i dunno im still a bummer rn. like im probably coming off as more an asocial freak than normal bc its hard to talk ans maintain conversation#rn. but whatever. sometimes things just suck and theres nothing u can do abt it but accept it and move on. ill learn lots of things with all#the reading i have to do and that's never a bad thing ...no matter how much i dont give a fuck abt animals#like jesus. i could not even begin to give a fuck about like 95% of mammals. fish r cool tho. plants too#but microbes is where its at. i dont understand y ppl dont understand how cool they r. oh well ill just have to tell them#if i can find my fucking enthusiasm. ugh i have to make one of my classes read a paper and i have to work with someone abt find it. she#works with like rabbits. i refuse to assign a mammal paper. i fucking refuse. we will do plants or microbes or fucking paleontology#i will fight her on this. ugh. light filtering or orchid speciation would b perfect. annoying#at least i get to work with some culturs this week#unrelated
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rebellum · 1 year
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Maybe it's just who I follow on here, but while I like the "being trans rocks" rhetoric, I feel like only saying that and saying things like "being trans doesn't suck its just transphobes that make it suck" erases the very real grief that often comes with being trans. Like, being trans DOES often suck! Dysphoria sucks! Body dysphoria and social dysphoria are both so bad! I don't want the Trans Narrative to be all about suffering, and it's really important to acknowledge trans joy, but I feel like sweeping the grief and discomfort under the rug and acting like it doesn't exist isn't helping anyone.
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technicolorxsn · 1 year
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I know he thinks I'm dumb and immature and too sensitive or whatever but I still miss him
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rememberedbyamark · 2 years
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Location: Picked
Lodging: Ready & Waiting
Allocation of Expenses: Decided
Daydreaming: Commenced
Money: ??????
Parental Approval: 😬😬😬
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r0ughrabbitz · 2 years
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Hey Andrew dabb your resident evil fanfic sucks major balls
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redr0sewrites · 1 month
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s. sub vox headcanons please…. i need that tv man so bad its not even FUNNY
YESSSS MY INBOX HAS BEEN LITERALLY FLOODED W SUB VOX EVER SINCE I MADE THAT POST HAHA
🥀Cw: smut, dom!reader, marking, overstimulation, praise, degradation
🥀 Pt 2 Sounding Hcs Here
🥀minors dni
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this man is a SPOILED switch
vox genuinely thinks hes a dom until he meets you, he's used to being dominant and has probably never tried being a sub
his ego gets in the way a little at first, he thinks it's embarrassing
however, once you begin to ease him into it, he's no longer embarrassed about the fact that hes subbing... hes embarrassed about how much he enjoys it
vox is so bratty, especially in the beginning
he has to trust you a lot to truly submit, and that takes time
he'll be very demanding, he'll try to touch himself without permission, he'll boss you around, he'll directly disobey commands, all in the effort of pissing you off
little does he know that you aren't giving up
PUNISH HIM. vox has a huge humiliation kink, fuck him in front of a mirror or in his monitor room where he can see himself from all anges, its so embarrassing to him and he'll probably short circuit
better yet, video tape it (w consent ofc) and play it for him later to fluster him
vox loves it when you talk dirty, hes def the type to have a voice kink
vox is also the type to be incredibly sensitive imo, and he gets overstimulated veryyyy easily bc of that
the easiest way for to you break down his bratty, bossy layer is to overstimulate him until he's sobbing
he has to really trust you tho
as much as vox likes your degradation, he LOVES youre praise
this man is constantly under stress, and is always hungry for control, so having someone else take it away from him can be very relieving for him
tell him how good he's doing, how good he's making you feel, and his mind goes all fuzzy <3
honestly once you slip into praise vox is practically GONE, he slips into subspace so easily when it comes to the overstimulating pleasure you're providing and combined with the praising? he's done for
vox always wants his hands on you, but he's so touchy and forgets how sharp his nails are, so you often have to restrain him
he likes seeing you covered in scratches tho, and also secretly likes it when you leave hickeys or scratches on his skin. ESPECIALLY when they're visible- it ties in with the humiliation kink ig, but if anyone ever noticed or pointed it out he'd prob cause a blackout with how flustered he'd get
speaking of getting flustered, vox glitches and whimpers when he moans, and his screen will often flush or grow static-y
the lights and electronics often flicker or go out when he cums, and he often cums so hard he glitches out and cuts the wifi (much to val and vels annoyance)
vox likes receiving more than giving, and LOVES blow jobs- it can be a little hard for him to give oral (lmao) but he loves bjs so so so much
theres something so pleasurable about just laying back and doing nothing but whimper and claw at the sheets as you suck him dry, and he cries from pleasure every time
VOX LOVES IT WHEN U SUCK HIM OFF WHILE HES WORKING, BUT HE NEVER ACTUALLY GETS ANY WORK DONE AND SPENDS THE WHOLE TIME SHAKING AND TRYING NOT TO THRUST INTO YOURE MOUTH
vox is also def a squirmer, like he'll shudder and whine over the gentlest touches. y'all also have to change the bedding like eveytime you have sex cuz he literally CLAWS at the sheets and moves around a LOT
simple solution? shibari
he loves/hates being tied up because its soooo humiliating and it gives you complete control
speaking of control, he finds it really hot when you're pissed or acting dominant outside of the bedroom
sometimes (alot of times) he'll try to intentionally piss you off just so you'll fuck him senseless
at the end of long work days, he either wants to be gently praised and taken care of while you both make love or fucked absolutely senseless until he can't even remember why he was upset and can only helplessly babble and whine
vox goes incoherent super easily and it only embarrasses him more that he can't get words out
he def owns a lot (and i mean a LOT) of sex toys and likes it when u use them on him
some nights he just wants to lay back while you try them all out on him
HES INTO SOUNDING AND YES I WILL ELABORATE IF ASKED <333
just the thought of u filling every one of his holes and overstimulating him from every angle makes him horny
he def will want you to use a remote control vibrator during meetings, he gets off on the humiliation
however with all of his baggage w valentino and shit, he def likes being treated sweetly too
some days he needs to get out of his head and be forced into submission and put into place, but others he needs to be pampered and praised and treated like glass
vox is much more emotional on these days and is a lot more clingy during these softer sessions
talk him through his orgasm, he'll probably start crying and let out the prettiest whimpers- he just cant help it, you make him feel so good :(
overall, he can be both super bratty and super submissive at the same time and is one kinky mf
humiliation is absolutely his biggest kink, followed in no particular order by bondage, a voice kink, praise, marking/claiming, DRY HUMPING (again i will absolutely elaborate if asked... hehe), and being put in his place
YALLLLLL IK THIS IS SO SHORT BUT I HAVE LIKE 6 OTHER SUB VOX REQS IN MY INBOX RN WHERE I WILL DEF BE GOING INTO MORE DETAILED SCENARIOS HEHE I LOVE HIMMMMM!!! I'LL PROB DO MORE IN DEPTH LIKE GENERAL HCS FOR HIM SOON WITH HIS DOM SIDE AS WELL CUZ THIS MANS THE WORLDS BIGGEST SWITCH- ANYWAYS HOPE U ENJOYEDDDD FEEL FREE TO SEND IN MORE REQS >:D
UPDATE: ELABORATION (basically pt 2 w sounding hcs) HERE
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saursoob · 4 months
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bad game (aim) - nishimura riki
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paring: niki x reader // drabble + smau // word count: 626
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you simply couldn’t believe it. some fucking friends you had. what kind of friends invites you to your favorite arcade just to ditch you for some upperclassman they just met there?
whatever there’s nothing i can do anyways, im suck in an arcade with no ride. i don’t think even playing games with make me feel better.
still, you went to play a few games of basketball but couldn’t help get distracted by a black haired boy poorly playing your favorite shooting game, you decid not to do anything since its none of your business and you were already having a shitty evening.
later you play a claw machine but end up continuously losing but seeing the boy continuously lose as well made you smile and you couldn’t help but say something. i mean, you know you said you wouldn’t but he really was butchering the game, its just simply helping. right? its not like your doing this because he’s also somewhat attractive or something?- shaking off your thoughts you get up from the from the claw machine and make way to him.
“your aim is pretty bad” you say teasing the boy thats trying his hardest but failing to concentrate on his game “i can help you? not to brag but im pretty good at this game.”
he looks back at you for a moment, nodding while trying to focus on both the game and you at the same time. “yeah go ahead” he says putting his arm out in attempt to pass you the toy gun from his hand.
you shake your head “theres no need for that just put your gun up”
he looks back at you confused for a moment but does as he’s told. putting his gun up and aligning it to his targets once again.
you stand next to him holding his gun along with him, carefully aligning it so its better.
you and the the boy were so close you were sure he could hear your breathing. you were also hoping he couldn’t hear how fast your heart was beating in this moment. disregarding all this you continue being close, not backing away simply looking at him for a moment, admiring his features. that was until the buzzing sound of *you lose* from the game started going off. distracted the both of you were had forgotten about the zombies you had to kill.
backing away, clearing his throat awkwardly from the whole situation that just occurred. niki began speaking, “uhm y-yeah it looks great uhm- but can you help me a bit more? i don’t think i have the hang of it just yet. theres still another round?”
you chuckle to what he was implying “yeah sure” going back to your original placement but this time holding the boys hand to hold the gun simultaneously is making your stomach flip. the game countdown starts 3,2,1 still you manage to perfectly place the gun, go! shooting its targets gracefully.
you back away this time to look at the boy face to face introducing yourself, “im y/n by the way” offering a hand out for a handshake.
niki chuckles a bit at your formality, shaking your hand back “im niki, you’re really good. you should give me lessons sometime.”
you think about it for a moment but theres no way he’s getting a date from you this easily so you being you, decide to milk it. “i dont know… ill make you an offer though?”
niki reacts with a downturn smile, “mm, that being?”
“you have to get me that minion plush” you say pointing to the claw machine behind him that you were previously struggling with.
niki smirks raising an eyebrow “of course, i can do that easy. just watch.”
- smau under cut!
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