#its 8am dont do me like this

[strangerhands]

if any of you ever notice me liking, un-liking, and re-liking your posts, (sometimes multiple times a day. sometimes multiple days apart.) please (try to) ignore me. i am sorry. i am insane. thank you. have a good day

#i like actually have issues #i need to ''line up'' and semi-organize my likes (which act as my bookmarks) #and like. it drives me insane when things arent how i Need them to be. #like for example three fics of the same character need to be one after the other and stuff #it goes kinda deeper and more insane but just to give you a general idea #so catch me constantly liking and unliking and reliking things a billion times #also do it to like put some things back at the top of my likes because so much gets buried so quickly and i just need to remember its there #both with things i that havent read yet and with things that i want to reread #i feel like so insane and annoying about it all the time🧎but like its just something that i Need to do... #like it actually kind of upsets me #if i dont. but also when i do. #it also honestly makes me scared/nervous that people will get really annoyed and or weirded out by it if they see/notice it happen:/ #i definitely have further mental issues #anyways #basically just im sorry and please ignore me #talkin shit #maybe i should talk to someone about this. or go down the research rabbit hole. aaaaaaaanyways. #goodnight! #it is 8am and i dont know how im still awake! #this was a certified talkin shit post #absolute wall of tags jesus #sorry :p #if you read all of this. i am sorry and i love you (big deal for me) #(another issue of mine) #🧍 #hashtag unnecessary off putting weirdo rant😝 #my specialty #okay bye #just had to edit this post a billion times. #woah tag limit reached. its a sign for me to shut the fuck up. note taken. thanks tumblr.

[silenthillbunni]

🧸🧃⛈️

#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset #bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard #nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc #nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time #in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders.... #it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me #(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them) #the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply #also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T #i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!! #my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol #i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot #why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days #many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk #but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie #yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it #hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours #then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do

[transfemgeorgecostanza]

the way i live my life makes it hard to achieve anything, which perhaps implies that i should change the way i live but it's difficult bc i really have a strict schedule

#wake up - usually around/before 8am #brush teeth make tea have first cup then gay little workout #then watch a film or tv series depending on whether i have to leave the flat before noon. today i dont #film is over around 11/12 #do dishes #make lunch/breakfast #play a bit piano #go for a walk #lego time or cleaning time depending on state of flat #then its like 6pm #which means its movie time again #watch movie #go to bed #read a bit #listen to cabin pressure (i always listen to cabin pressure in december. 26+1 episodes with the last two being christmas related so its lik #an advent calendar for me #like where would there be time to like #i dont know #see i dont even know what to change #(obviously this is for days where i dont want to do anything social and dont have to work)

[oflgtfol]

“But no one actually ‘looks’ through [modern telescopes]. Margaret Huggins lamented the shift from gazing at the heavens to squinting at tiny patches of light. Now we’ve gone much, much further. In today’s astronomy, photons of light from the sky, along with the celestial secrets they contain, are picked up by electronic detectors, converted into digital data and crunched through impossibly complex equations by some of the most powerful computers on the planet. In 2016, bricklayer-turned-astronomer Gary Fildes described visiting Chile’s Very Large Telescope (VLT) in his best-selling book An Astronomer’s Tale. Incorporating four mirrors, each 27 feet wide, the VLT collects visible and infrared radiation and can distinguish points in the sky separated by less than a millionth of a degree. Here, at the forefront of today’s attempts to understand the stars, Fildes was struck by the sight of scientists hard at work in control rooms, eyes glued not to their telescopes but to banks of screens: ‘They didn’t look as if they had seen the real sky for days.’”

- The Human Cosmos: Civilization and the Stars by Jo Marchant

#brot posts #astro posting #GOD this puts to words something i really felt #as someone who fell in love with the idea of astronomy as this awe-filled wonder of the vast universe #and then going to college and sitting in a fucking dark classroom at the brink of dawn fucking 8am and doing nothing but MATH !!!! #like - theres no judgment here #very very obviously we need these technologies and math techniques to truly understand astronomy #but like the whole thesis to this book (so far? im thinking) is that like #in doing so - you lose something fundamental #astronomy is one of if not theee oldest sciences known to humanity #but the way it was practiced for millennia upon millennia of human history is so incredibly different from how we practice it now #i got a whole ass Bachelors of Science in Astronomy and never once was i required to actually look at the night sky . #and i dont think this same phenomenon exists in other fields of science #like as time goes on we ofc learn more and theres a certain level of abstraction as you get more separated from the immediate knowledge #afforded by your immediate senses #but the level of abstraction for astronomy is just. not really seen as much or as bad in other fields? imo? #anyway i remember a while ago saying that as i got further through my degree the less magical space felt to me #compared to when i was younger and knew nothing at all #and i said yeah its nice to /know/ things now but i still miss that magic when everything was new exciting and real #but you lose something. that magic. that soul. when your astronomg experience is not actually stargazing #but instead sitting in a room doing math on paper or doing nothing but staring at a computer screen

[todayisafridaynight]

i think ichi would still go into work while suffering from *gameritis and hes so brave for that he's so committed

#snap chats #*aka playing videogames too much to the point of his wrist hurting from pushing the buttons so much #aka. me LMAOO OWWW OWIE OUCH VIDEOGAMES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN NOT PAIN #the alternative is him calling arakawa at like 8AM in pain and shit all 'boss... im real sorry... i wont be able to make it today...' #and then instead of ichi like. Dying it's just cause dragon quest 6 came out and he binged all of it over the weekend #CRYING at the thought arakawa keeping up with videogame releases just to know when to esp look after ichi #like Hey Totally Unrelated Don't Think About It But I Got Someone To Cover You This Weekend.... that kinda b ☠️☠️ #and then its like Oh Wow New Game Coming Out Friday What Luck :))) ☠️☠️☠️ #sometimes he'll put his foot down dont worry.... theres SOME limits to how lenient arakawa can be.... #n e way. i cant feel my thumb and my tendon feels funky.. so i am no longer playing games and i am Doing My Job.... #luckily my drawing wrist isnt affected but still.. lmao.. #im almost done with the sketches for them so then i can just send those off to my commissioners and then ima do a quick lil doodle #either that or ill sketch a comic... tho whenever i do that i end up never doing them.. #might convert it to a fic but anyway back to work

[pneumonic-screamers]

can't even look at myself

#jinx's hijinks #today was baad #first a bus driver is scresming at KIDS AT 8AM #im sorry people are poor or in a rush or didnt know their card was out of charge but its not effecting ur pay #SHUT THE FUCK UP #if were going to school you csnt deny us access to the bus bc thats denying us access to our education #and slso dont fucking yell at random kids #you do not know what other people are going thru idc if ur cranky shut it and dint yell at a 10 yo you crabby bastard #also public transport should be free #but back on topic #yelling is z massive trigger for me #and ive felt not quite real or gere since #i sont recognise myself in the mirror. i look like me but everything is off. and ive just realised how fast the oast 6 monthas have gone. #i need ti die abt it #but i tood a teacher sbt it all abd how im drowning in school work bc all the teschers are piling wirk on us out jf nowhere. #anc i got a well-being referral #thats so fun! <- guy who is terrfied of his parents fibding oit about his bad struggles.

[where-is-caithe]

throws this onto the ground. just take it. take it off my hands. subtle spoilers for All or Nothing in season 4. it's not long but it still took me 2 whole days. it's not even what i had in mind to begin with.

-

Cross sat on the edge of the cot, her hands resting on her knees as she listened to the sounds of her soldiers outside her tent, long ears flicking at the slightest noise. Chatter. Heavy footsteps. The clank of armor as someone finally got to sit down. A low, shuddering breath and sob. Her eyes were closed as she listened, her brow furrowed. There was a lot riding on this day and she knew no one was truly prepared.

With a soft hum she opened her eyes and began unraveling her braided hair. She only had a few hours, but she might as well lay down comfortably. Rebraid her hair.

A shadow passed across the closed flap of her tent. She watched the figure hesitate, before a throat was cleared.

“Commander?”

Cross ran a hand through her hair, now loose and long around her shoulders, and stood, slouched, taking the few steps to the door of her tent.

Green eyes met hers as she lifted the flap.

“Firstborn Caithe,” a sliver of amusement in her voice, “so formal. Come in.”

She saw her lips turn up slightly as she stepped inside. Only with Caithe, was it strange to be called by her title. 

Cross went back to her cot to sit as Caithe watched her intently.

“They kicked you out of command, too?” She asked as she sat heavily, now roughly at eye level with the sylvari.

Caithe made an amused noise, “yes. And I told Aurene to rest as well, but I don’t think she’s going to listen to me.”

“Yeah she didn’t listen to me either.”

She ran a hand through her hair again and she saw Caithe’s eyes follow the motion. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen your hair loose, Cross,” she looked away with a small smile, “you look good.”

Cross tilted her head and hummed.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Caithe said, still avoiding her eyes.

“Yeah?”

Caithe looked at her, those green eyes staring, glowing and intense. A white leaf shifted between them, disrupting her gaze.

“We haven’t had much time to talk. I wanted to know your thoughts.”

Cross unabashedly swept her gaze across Caithe, her eyes tracing the blue veins down her arms to glowing white fingertips, the crystal down her middle and the blooms at her shoulder and hip, settling back on her face, her skin a vibrant teal framed by white. She held out a hand, and Caithe only hesitated a moment before taking it, letting herself be gently pulled in.

“Beautiful,” she murmured against cool fingers, “you look beautiful.”

Caithe laughed lightly, resting her forehead against Cross, “that wasn’t exactly what I was wondering,” she said, amused, “but thank you.”

Cross smiled into Caithe’s palm, “you didn’t come here fishing for compliments?”

The sylvari shook her head and the pair fell into silence for a moment as she collected her thoughts. Cross watched her with a steady gaze, listening to the soft thrum of a not quite heartbeat, the feel of a thumb on her cheek, a deep breath in and out.

“You’re not afraid?”

Her voice was low, the question barely a whisper.

And it was only because Cross trusted her completely, only because it was Caithe who was asking, that she replied, just as softly, in the same whisper, “I am.”

She didn’t need to say more, Caithe knew. The pair had killed two dragons together before, and they could only hope, deeply and fiercely hope, that this would not end as Aurene’s visions claimed. 

The looming fight with Kralkatorrik feels heavy.

Cross tightens her grip on Caithe’s wrist, a grounding point of reassurance, and, similarly, Caithe inches closer and the hand on her cheek holds her tighter. When their lips met it was soft, and a little desperate, moving together slowly. Caithe breathed against her lips “just in case,” and Cross whispered back, “stay with me,” her arm wrapping around Caithe’s middle, and Caithe’s hand tangling in her hair. For a few short hours it could be just the two of them, anchoring each other, refusing to think of the fight to come.

It had to be alright. It had to be.

#gw2 #gw2 fanfic #guild wars 2 #gw2 caithe #x #this is not a first kiss also thats a completely different thing #also semi established but i dont think they really label what they are #maybe they do #like i fckn know #its 8am and i havent slept #someone come hit me with a hammer

[4giorno]

and yes im replaying my otc (one true character) again 1. because of the clown make up but 2. bc when i looked at astarion in a thumbnail of a yt video recommendation i thought 'i dont even know you anymore'

#hkddidkdk it is that serious!!!!! #none of my other characters have him in the party so seeing that image i was truly like '🎵 whooooo is that girl i seeee🎵' #and thank GODDD i did bc this way i discovered that all the other times getting gale was overriding some camp dialogue with astari0n #and shad0wheart AND bc having gale and getting that overriding scene triggers astari0n sneaking into the woods which THEN overrides #a brief scene of introspection from your main character #so yes by long resting somehow EVEN MORE frequently i was able to get even more dialogue with my faves that i missed #and to me extremely importantly a scene that adds more development to my beloved aka my character #but listen...... i dont know if i can do this...... idk if i can have wyll being a warlock 🤧🤧🤧 #i like to have pure class builds for everyone in my (one true) characters campaigns to keep it more authentic to me #but i just cant make myself play warlock a single time more it just sucks every bit of joy from my being ⚰️ #like i gotta do 4 warlock/8 paladin right? its lore accurate right 🥹🥹🥹🥹 #(okay i just read these tags and the sentence structure/grammar is actually unforgivable #but in my defense its 8am and i havent slept and writing tags on mobile is hard bc you cant see what youve written ⚰️ #maybe you can still get what i was trying to say even tho some of the parts of sentences dont connect 🥹) #(actually no its not understandable at all. the 'thank godddd i did' in the beginning is referring to me starting this replay. this is #the only correction i have the energy to make hjffkjdkdkd)

[vcrnons]

man. why was yuta in my dream again

#shut up j #this time he was a cool older guy whose car had broken down and he asked me if I could drive him to work #so I pulled up at his place at 8am and there are like 30 people all dressed UP in these clubbing fits #meanwhile im in my fuckin JIMJAMS AND FUZZY SLIPPERS. #and one of his friends came to my car and was like heyyyy come inside he’s just getting dressed. And I was like :| look at the state of me #hair scraped back. hormonal acne all over the joint. it was BAD but for some reason I did go inside anyway #asked this girl how on earth she looked so good at 8am and she just laughed and shook her head saying I had nothing to worry about #LIKE MAAM I WASNT WORRIED UNTIL NOW WHAT DO YOU M E A N. anyway I get inside and yuta finally comes downstairs and is in a whole suit #pressed trousers white shirt tie jacket. a whole SUIT. and he’s like ‘oh did you bring the Jack Daniels’ and I was like bitch NO GET IN THE #CAR ALR YOURE GONNA BE LATE #also WHAT fuckin jack daniels. ITS 8AM WHY DO YOU NEED WHISKEY #never did find out but 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyway #so then I drove him to work and he was being a menace the whole time. just. making fun of my driving and saying the pyjamas were cute #and then he was like ‘can u pick me up at 5 too? and bring the JD with u. thanks’ kissed my cheek and skedaddled #I don’t know what triggered this I just know im gonna tear down a house over it. I hate him😭😭😭😭 #I DONT KNOW THIS MAN WELL ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE UP IN MY DREAMS LIKE THIS😭 #can I pls have five minutes peace. good god

[ajdrawshq]

that post that warns u to not trust urself after 9pm is very right. unfortunately that is when i wake up

#which apparently doesnt change anything. it really is just smth about 9pm #ugh. i dont even trust myself to go any further on this bc i dont like vent posting but goddamn thats a whole mountain of baggage huh #ignore that its 7-8am as of posting . this has in fact been simmering since i got up which makes it much worse. dont do this to urself #plus my head hurts so. so bad rn and crying will Not help that but i rly rly cant trust myself to say things when i have headaches #not sure what it is. but based on past events i should keep quiet. even tho i am very obviously desperate to say things #girl help the mental illness is mentally illing me

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i dunno what i planned to do today. but it wasnt spening 8am-5.30pm weighing samples #just like i didnt plant to spend 11am-6.30pm yesterday weighing samples. but sometimes the universe doesnt let u choose #mostly i feel bad that our undergrad had to do all that time with me when she has all her class work as well and #like i dont care abt the project and ive been with it every step of the way. it was nice talking with her tho #fucking exhausting bc i talked the ENTIRE TIME bc i cant handle lulls in conversation. but ive been assured im not annoying so whatever #god. my boss asked me yesterday if id gotten to relax this last week and its like. i mean compared to the fucking month ive had? yes #but probably not by the standards of a normal person. i definitely havent been getting enough sleep #and tomorrow i habe to go in at 8 and in theory im supposed to go to a retirement party tomorrow at noon #and the guy is a rambler so who knos how long ill b there. and im already socially drained. thrn monday i should start with my other #project again. but i habe to check the machine and im just gonna have to go full on no breaks until mid may #so whej will i get a break? in theory after may 14th. so fucking frustrating #and im not mad at anyone specifically. i just hate this project and cant wait to quit and move #so now im gonna fucking draw more too earnest narut0 fanart and avoid the things i should b doing #bc im fuckine exhausted. literally i was standinf from 9.30 to 3pm with not breaks bc idk i didnt look at the time #and im not running today apparently bc im too tired and the sun is gonna set in 20min >:-[ #ay ay ay. 2023 my year of hatred and rage #wah. i don't wanna drive tomorrow 😫 #unrelated

[frecklystars]

work was horrendous yall it is TIME for a fucking NAP

#woof #I hate truck delivery days I HATE TRUCK DELIVERY DAYS #THERE WERE THREE HUGE TRUCKS AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOINGGGG #and im not used to waking up at the asscrack of dawn so ofc its 5am and im grouchy #and then once it hits 8am and we're opening ppl FLOOD IN #and they're like hello where is your zillyhooyippeeyeehaw wine #I DONT KNOWWWW I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW #and when the PHONE RINGS and theyre like hey do u have [beverage]? BEATS ME!!! #and then there's the lotto machine and the safe they're building #I DONT WANT TO LEARN NEW THINGS AHHHH #WHY MUST GROWTH HAPPEN THRU RAW EXPERIENCE #I WOULD LIKE TO SKIP AHEAD #i also hate asking ppl for their ID bc half the time they dont bring it #and this one woman got SO PISSED bc i asked #'are you serious? im in my 20s' ok well i dont know that #and i'd like to not go to jail please! how do u NOT have ur license on u #u fucking drove here didnt u #i am in my 20s and i look like im 12!! i would not blame ppl if they did not sell me alcohol! #how are u gonna go into the liquor store not expecting to be carded when ur young! #i get it if ur in ur 30s and if u LOOK like ur in ur 30s like if u have a beard or something #but still how do u drive somewhere without ur license!! thats against the law!!!!! #make it easier for all of us and bring ur ID pls and just let me put it into the gotdam machine #im gonna sleep now 😓

[captain-mayabishop]

Not bad to not b on ur phone at work. Good even. 1) ur actually doing ur job which, proud of u 2) ur stronger than i am bc even when im in meetings and shouldnt b on my phone i just am so (to be clear furing meetings my camera is off)

well i wouldnt say im strong enough by myself its just like i cant do it :')

#im a teacher so imagine teaching kids and being on my phone #and between two classes its like you still dont have time cause theres ALWAYS some paperwork you have to do #i dont even have time to eat between 8am and 3pm #which is sad and bad for me i know

[gfcupid]

how to stop feeling like every drs visit is some test btw..

#the nurse is like yeah just tie the gown at the top and botto #bottom... I LITERALLY CANNOT thats why i am here #and then the dr saw me for 5 mins maybe and was like huh you really cant move this arm huh. bro #so yeah it was mandated by my insurance btw so im like suspicious it was a test also a manipulation tactic #cause it was fuckin 1 and 20 mins away from my house at 8am as if it was suppsed to make it even harder for me #like this whole thing has been one manipulation tactic cause now im #suing the guy who hit me And my own insurance. #and i still havent even thought about disability like i literally would rather kill myself LOL #anyway. this happened at 8 am and i just ?? dont fight for accident btw it will just be a 4year hell #where you were the victim but no actually it wasnt bad enough and youre just trying to get money and hey... haha you an addict? you fat? #no no no you arent injured its just a scheme. #and they stil dont know whats wrong w me either 4yrs later #1st it was frozen shoulder then it was arthritis (which i do have) but then they said it wastn even my shoulder but my neck #it doesnt matter its all so stupid and degrading and made me despise our health care and legal systems even more<3

[voidimp]

girl help the bjds are calling to me again

#i cant i CANT i dont have MONEY but augh theres some i want So Bad #theyre so expensive & like I Get It but mannnn i cant afford them anymore & im crying abt it #i still wish i could make my own AUGH i have so many ideas #i mean i do want to like 3d print prototypes & then ??? idk probably get a more Final Print professionally done #with a better printer than i have & have them make it nice & polished & then i can make a mold & cast the pieces in resin..... #but i also still need the mold making stuff & the resin & probably also a pressure pot & vacuum chamber so the molds/casts come out good #its sososo expensive i die #its 8am i cant sleep help me lmao

[sndwave]

getting woken up on a weekend byfucking comcast calling and insisting it Has to be me they speak to and asking literally step fucking 2 of the 30 something things tried YESTERDAY after 2 HOURS of tech support is the closest to yelling at a real human on the phone ive ever gotten. half asleep me saying "nana told you i work nights and you still insisted and you want me to swap a hdmi cable ibe done 6 times already" and only Just not swearing

#shocker nothing changed and they're still sending a tech. i truly do not know what the fuck the point of this call was #i dont work strictly nights but when my normal bedtime is 2am a 8am call is like me calling a 9 to 5er at 5am ON THE WEEKEND #i know ur doing ur job but its pointless and u do not understand the words ''night shift''