#itll get better in a few days i just. it hurts. everything hurts i just want it to stop hurting please.please . please. h

[louscartridge]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ(not so off) off day

han jisung x gn reader.

cw- mention of reader slightly crying, domestic fluff (han gets reader ready for bed. changes their clothes, brushing their teeth, ect), kinda hurt/comfort, not really proof read. half of this was written on a phone and the other half was written on my computer and i cant be asked to fix it so itll look weird or something idfk. 

summery- reader leaves han home without her on their only off day. saying the least, theyre both pretty sad and han helps both of you feel a bit better.

a/n- i kinda gave up like halfway through the fic so this sucks and my fics, ESPECIALLY my kpop fics have been flopping, but i need to post so whatever.

It was Sunday, so both you and jisung had off. however, you insisted on going to your company’s building to practice anyway, leaving jisung home with Chan, hyunjin, and changbin. the day went my exhaustingly slow for Han.

Chan had been in him room pretty much all day, doing god knows what, Hyunjin has been in his art studio all day, and changbin has been playing video games, leaving Han alone. He would alternate from being in his room to the living room, occasionally getting a “hey” from one of his roommates if they came out to get something to eat or something. Jisung had been laying on the couch in the now dark living room. the only light that was on, being the light that was coming from the tv. he took a short lived nap on the couch before being woken up to the sound of the door being opened and then closed. jisung rubbed his eye with his fingers, adjusting to the small yet bright light. He turned around and was greeted with you putting your bag beside the arm end of the couch. you plop down next to your boyfriend on the couch and snuggled into his side with a sigh. You burry your face into his neck and wrap your hands around his waist, your legs going over his thighs. he can feel that your eyelashes are slightly wet against his neck and jisung wraps his arms loosely around your hips.

“Rough day?” He asks in a sweet tone.

You shake your head yes slightly in an attempt to not shift your position. “mhm”

“m’sorry love” jisung moved his hands slightly so he can rub circles on your hip with his thumb.

“how was your day?” You ask him.

“boring. I missed you.” His voice is lazy, still laced with wanted sleep.

“I know I’m sorry. I missed you too.” You said pressing a few little kisses to his neck, close to his collar bone.

jisung could tell you were getting tired and on the verge of falling asleep in his embrace. Your words were getting merged together more with some slurring, your breathing was changing slightly, and you would randomly shoot your eyes open, fighting to stay awake.

“you want me to bring you our room and we can go to sleep?” Your boyfriend asks calmly.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep if I move” you said.

“you’ll get there” he knew you would. It might take you a bit, but you would. you always did. with the comfort of being in jisungs imbrace and knowing you werent alone, youve felt more comftorble sleeping. not only, did you have just your boyfriend with you, but three other men to protect you.  

han turned the tv off before he picked you up and grabbed your legs so they were wrapped just above his hips. you wrapped your arms around his neck and kept your face in his neck. 

he brought you to your shared room and then into the bathroom. he closed the bathroom door and sat you on the counter before taking your toothbrush and toothpaste out of the drawr next to your leg. 

han grabs your chin gently, tiliting your head up to the side a little. “open up baby”

you lazily open your mouth and soon after you can feel the tickiling sensation of han brushing your teeth. 

once he was done, he brought a little plastic cup to your mouth and held your hair back. 

“spit” 

you brought your head down a bit before spitting everything in your mouth out into the cup. 

“good job.” 

you smield slightly from his words. “mhm. thank you” 

han patted your head before opening the bathroom door. “ill be right back”

when han came back, he had one of his t-shirts and a clean pair of underwear in his hand. 

“here wait stand up for a second”  

you hopped off of the counter so you were now standing infront of jisung. 

“can i take your pants off?” han asked

“wow so romantic” you laughed. “yeah.” you awnserd with a shake of your head.

once he was done taking your pants off, he also slid off your underwear with your promisiom, before sliding on a new, clean pair of underwear. after that, you jumped back onto the counter and he took your shirt off to replace it with his. he didnt bother bringing you a pair of pants since he knew youre not on your period and you dont like to sleep in pants half the time anyway.

he picked you back up so you were holding onto his same as before, and threw you onto your bed, earning a giggle from you. 

you moved onto you spot of the bed as han took off his shirt and put on a clean pair of boxers and sweatpants.  

once he was ready, he climed into bed with you and you turned over and burried yourself deep into his chest. han gently took your face in his hands and kissed your forhead before wrapping his arms around your body.

you and han loved eachother. and han will always hold your hands when youre anxious and hell always kiss your forhead when you sleep in his arms. 

reblogs are greatly appreciated!! 

if you liked this fic, you may also like- selenite (sh tw)

#han jisung #han jisung imagine #han #han jisung x reader #han jisung headcanons #han jisung fluff #han jisung angst #han jisung hurt #han jisung comfort #han jisung hurt/comfort #angst #fluff #hurt #comfort #hurt/comfort #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #x you #x yn #x y/n #yn #y/n #hyunjin #bang chan #changbin #skz #skz fanfic #skz x reader #skz x you

[mental-health-advice]

Hello!

(tw mentions of sh but nothing graphic)

I really dont know if this is the place for this, if so simply being able to write this out is probably helpful. I am in a romantic relationship with someone who self harms (were both 19). This was a thing i knew about before we got together, we were both going through a rough patch then and bonded a lot of beinf able to talk about our problems, i think back then i was so busy dealing with my own mountain of problems and thoughts of self inury (that i luckily never followed through on) that worry for someone else didnt even fit.

While all the resources I can find are really helpful im at a bit of a loss now, ive done everything right, i already had expierience with other friends and myself. They are in therapy and are on the path to healing, take good care of the wounds generally and we can openly comunicate about this and generally have been able to do so effectively.

These last few months however theres been more slip ups than before. I know progress is not linear, and its still much a work in progress (this has been an issue for 7 years, 1 year of recovery is obviously nothing). I am incredibly proud of the progress they have made, last year it was twice weekly trips to the ER, so even twice a month is huge already. also know they wont be able to quit or even signficantly reduce the self harm until they move out, since their family is unstable and does everything wrong (gets angry, threatens with ultimatums, generally extremely scared of their scars).

last few times with a slip up its made me freak out too, I have an anxiety disorder which this now triggers (i used to have a slightly better grip on this) I try to remain calm and helpful for their sake, but its mostly incredibly upsetting im not there to help them, and i know being there to talk helps but ive run out of material ways to help. It also feels like it proves my fear that something will always go wrong, which can lead me to have panic attacks. Ive talked about this with them of course and we get through it together, i really want to be better at keeping a slightly leverer head though. I used to have counceling too who helped me, but since i turned 18 and finished school im now on a waitinglist for adult help, and while talking to other friends helps somewhat its still generally makes me panic, sleep badly and sometimes have nightmares. I really love them, whenever were together we bring out the best in eachother and im afraid if i talk about this too much to people theyll tell me to break up with them.

we have plans to move in together for university next year, which im sure will help a lot (i know they wont magically heal then either, but ill be there as a more sturdy support and theyll be able to access ER, etc without being shamed) and ill have a therapist again then too, so its just these coming months that are going to be very rough. I just never know how to calm myself down, i know its not rational (they are hurt but never badly, they always talk to me about it, their psychologist will generally help too) i also know im allowed to feel sad and scared, i just want to be more in control.

back when i had a therapist she used to talk about trying to stay at my own feelings, not getting dragged down into someone else. But i just dont know how to do that, whenever it happens its just so sad and i hate it. No matter how much i remind myself even after ive allowed myself a period to be sad that itll be okay and they are relatively safe and i see them every week it feels so awful. Its not very tennable to ruin my whole night, next day on this every time. sorry this is sooo long but i feel the context is important as ive gone through a lot of advice, thank u tho.

Hey there,

Whilst I think that it is great that you have been able to help this person for such a long period of time, unfortunately it is not always sustainable no matter how much we would like it to be. This though doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try if you want to, I am just trying to point out that unless you look after yourself too and put a bit of a barrier between you and this person then it is likely that things may not change or improve for YOU.

I know how great it can feel when we help another and especially when we see such big improvements for the person we are trying to help and support, but the end line is that we can only do so much until we ourself begin to crumble or struggle a bit (which it sounds like you are to some degree) and so I am wondering if you can put some space between this person and you at all to focus on yourself a bit more and self-care may be of some benefit to you.

In regards to this person, any day of no self-harm is an amazing achievement and no amount of set backs or slip ups/ relapses can take these achievements away from them. It’s important to know that that recovery comes from within and so unless this person chooses to and is ready to focus on their recovery then it is unlikely that things will change for them and they will still be in survival mode. This is in no way your fault, and nor is there much you can do about it as we cannot choose recovery for another person, it has to be when they are ready and choose to try to commit. And even then, it’s quite normal to go back to survival mode and go back and forth between recovery and not, this does not mean they are not still trying, but rather they are just human like everyone of us are. I remember in my own recovery away from self-harm I did go in and out of trying to not self-harm depending on how strong I felt on the day and what triggers may have come up that made me want to self-harm, this didn’t mean I wasn’t trying or that, it was just that I was really struggling and the urges to self-harm were too strong to try and fight them.

So, what can you do?

To begin with try to be patient with yourself and this person and know that even when they seem to not be trying, they actually are. Try to put some space in between you and this person to enable you to look after yourself too. You can do this by practising good self-care (trying to eat healthy, doing some exercise a few times a week and trying to get a good nights sleep) and tyring to have some ‘down time’ where you can simply just think about yourself and do some things that you enjoy doing whatever that may be. I know that you may feel selfish and bad for taking some time out for yourself, but if you don’t look after yourself then it won’t be sustainable to help support others and be there for them if you choose to do so.

In regards to how it can make you feel when this person does self-harm or is struggling quite a bit, as your therapist mentioned to you, try to take a step back and allow yourself some time to grieve or feel sad and try to be kind to yourself – I know how it can feel like a loss to you as well when someone is struggling and self-harms as a result, but in reality it has nothing to do with you and how much or how little you are there for the, it is bound to happen anyway and this in no way reflects on you and how good a job you may be doing to support them through difficult times and days.

I know that you mentioned that it can cause great anxiety when they do self-harm now, and so when this happens, again, try to be kind to yourself and do try to take some time out for you. And I know, this is much easier said than done, but it will get easier though with practice and it may also be helpful to check out our page on calming anxiety and panic as well for some more ideas on different coping strategies.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #self-harm #supporting others

[valleyoflovesblog]

brutally honest way to get over a breakup

1) mourn, let out your emotions out. its okay to cry

2.) tell your friends or family. theyll support you through this.

3.) dont contact them if youre in no comtact DO NOT MESSAGE this will make getting over them so much harder

4) dont stalk their social media

5.) accept that your arent getting back together. this is crucial. if you keep thinking to yourself “ill give him time” “maybe in the future” you arent letting yourself get over them youre just distancing yourself

6.) avoid going out JUST to see them for imstance if you still have their location dont go to the same spot as them

7.) avoid gossip or drama to do with them

ex: “have u heard what # did” AVOID. say no

8.) dont wear their clothes or jewellery dont smell them either if they still smell of them

9.) dont immeditley get into a new relationship if its just to make them jealous. i am in a new relationship but i genuienly love this boy. it isnt to make my ex jealous or mad. there is no point hurting 3 ppl (ur ex, urself, the new boyfriend)

10.) try to make new friends, go new places, make new memories itll help being around fresher things

11.) go on walks, go outside, go out with friends

if you cannot go out try letting in sunlight by opening your blinds and opening a window for fresh air

did you know sunlight and fresh air can actually help with depression?

12.) delete all photos of you together

i have kept a few videos of my ex being silly or videos from when we was out but all photos and videos of cuddling or kissing or being romantic. DELETED

13.) keep your peace. if they talk shit or diss you dont give them the same reaction back. itll show them you arent bothered and you simply wont give them your time

14.) DO NOT pick up any addictions for example drugs, alc, nicotine, gambling, etc. it isnt worth it at all and will end up with you feeling worse

15.) take time. its not easy but you are strong. every day it gets easier even if it doesnt seem like it i promise every day is a new day which means more growth and memories

16.) do the things you love

17.) start doing selfcare. even though it seems hard

this doesnt mean a facemask every night or an everything shower every day

self care can be nust as simple as brushing your teeth and hair, remembering to shower, making your bed

18.) dont rot in bed. try to sit in ur living room, spend time with friends, etc

19.) take up a new hobby if possible

ex : cooking, drawing, painting, singing, writing, walking/running, yoga

20.) just know this isnt forever. i promise itll get better. you were okay before and you will be okay now❤️

#breakup #tips #growth #how to adult #moving #moving on #advice #writing #self love #self healing #healing #getting over it #getting better #mind break #heart break #heartache #heartbroken #first love #love

[nolanist]

Noones gonna red this and thats probably for the better. I just idk kinda need to get my thoughts sorted cause everythings chaos. Yesterday i met someone again who i havent seen, spoken to or chatted with in months. This someone was very very special to me. But in february this someone started to ghost me. And that hurt. Very much. And for months i tried hard to get that friendship back but i couldnt. And with going to therapy i managed to move on and leave it all behind me. But then this person texted me again (after 8 fucking months). They told me why our friendship failed. They told me its not my fault. And its not that i dont understand the reasons. I really do understand them. But there are other ways than ghosting. And when i git that text everything just ..... came back. I started missing that friendship again. That caused another few days of emotional hell but that too passed. That was like 1 1/2 months ago. I was feeling good again. But then yesterday happened. A mutual friend of ours celebrated his birthday. And this person attended the party as well. And it was just a pure chaos of feelings. I mean on the hand im fucking angry because of the 8 months of ghosting and the hurt that came along with it. But on the other hand .... we were friends once. Good friends. Very good friends. We were pretty close. This friendship and this person was so special to me. Anyway i was very cold to them yesterday. I mean i barely looked at them let alobe talk to them. But now im thinking maybe that was a bit too mean? Idk. I mean they hurt me a lot this year. But idk. But im missing the friendship again. And that hurts again. Maybe thats also only a few more days like in november. But idk thats not the only thing. I still got all these things that remind me of that friendship. And sometimes i really do miss it. But i know theres no way of going back to where we were. Idk. There is just hole this friendship left that im still trying to figure out how to fill it. But idk how. I got all these mixed feelings. Sadness, anger, missing this friendship, this hole idk. I got all these feelings and idk what to do with them. Maybe itll just pass too. Idk its just ...... rough .... i dont what to do with myself and all these feelings .. ..

#friend breakup

[wherestarsfallaway]

I feel like this is a scary place. It holds some of my deepest hurtful memories. Memories of anger and spite. Memories of loneliness and sadness. It holds everything I wish to forget. Yet why do i find rereading my horrible thoughts so comforting?

Is it because I’m so goddamn alone that reading someones darkness… even if its my own.. feels comforting. Because someone out there is feeling that darkness too. Except. Its all just me anyway. Sometimes i feel like I come back here because I can look at these memories and think wow but I dont feel like that any more… so ive healed and grown.

Sometimes… I come back here to read all my thoughts about being hurt. And literally validate myself. Reread those thoughts and think ok. Well. She documented this years ago. So it mustve actually happened. Instead gas lighting away my own hurt. And chalking it up to nothing because thats easier

Today is the 20th.. well 21st now of December. In a few short days itll be christmas time and ill be back at my parents. I typed home first. But… i just really cant consider that true.

It hurts me so so much that I can’t truly love my family. It just does. I have this fantasy that I go on a podcast and I admit all the trauma I grew up with and people comment on that video that they understand and thank me for my vulnerability. What the therapist in me says that means is, i just want to be asked how Im actually doing and feeling for once without lying. And then get the chance to vent my true feelings. And then be thanked for being honest and vulnerable because I never got that experience growing up.

Its so complicated. There are months even that we are fine. Months where i think life is okay. Months where i finally feel like ive moved on and learned to get over all this bullshit. But that isnt true. And i fucking know it. Because the smallest randomest things will trigger me and I realize I havent healed at all. Im just hoping that the passage of time will dull the pain. But it wont. At least not fast enough for me.

I want to elope. And thats mainly because I feel like the only people who truly made me safe deserve to be there on my biggest most special day. And that person happens to be the person im actually marrying. And literally no one else. Why should I pay for people who didnt do the absolute bare minimum to celebrate my day? What did you do to earn the plate of my dinner because this isnt some fucking charity event.

I just saw someone say if youre considering ending it all because you think your family will be better off, dont because it isnt true. Yeah. I sometimes feel that. Ive felt both. Ive felt that sheer loneliness so deep and bitter that i think my family will be better off without me. But other days I know it would ruin them and that makes me happier because I actually wanna end it all out of sheer spite. Can you believe that. Sometimes. I was so angry at it all. Angry at the facade everyone else seemed to believe about us being the perfect family, that i wanted to die just so people would have to attend my funeral and realize what a shitshow it all was. Can you imagine how much fucking pain you have to put someone through for that to literally be their dying wish.

I’ve been paying rent on my own for months now. Which. At some level I understand. Im grown. But im literaly addicted to living here on my own because im terrified now of ruining the one space that makes me happy. If i have to hold my breath any longer Ill just pass away. I cant stand to compromise any more because I’ve just done this shit for too fucking long. I dont wanna hold my breath and tiptoe around my own house. I wanna relax and feel something other than anxiety in the space thats supposed to be my home. But im also exhausted. I finished my final two days ago but I’ve already worked so many hours. Ive been falling asleep midday because Im so emotionally exhausted. I just cant.

And meanwhile my family is fucking partying in las vegas. That shit builds so much resentment in me. I dont have to explain it. You know it. You understand. You dont wanna feel the betrayal anymore of knowing you were going thru a crisis just as deep and bad as your sister. But you just shut your mouth better about it. And nobody ever apologized for what they put you through. So you dont ever get closure.

At this point im so tired and sad I cant even continue this letter. Even though i have so much I want to get off my chest. My head hurts. My head hurts so bad from staring at a screen for 9 hours.

I have the sinking feeling this xmas season… sigh. I dont want to manifest it. But I wish I didnt have to go. I wish I could spend that week here. I’m tired. I barely have the strength to do anything anymore. And now Ill have to spend this break pretending. I wish I didnt want their approval so much. And i wish I could just let them go and live the life i truly want to live. Im tired.

Sometimes I fantasize about moving somewhere in secret. Turning off my location. And just vanishing. So i would have no more obligations.

But i never get what i want.. so heres to more hopeless dreams

Gnight

#selftalk

[kassandraqueenn]

Once in a blue moon i always log into my tumblr account just so i can comfortably express myself because no one is watching..

I dont know how i got here again and its eating me alive trying to figure it out. my aunt thinks i havent been myself since dannys death and i think shes right. how can someone you share a person with just up and leave this world. no more breathing, no more laughing, just no more life. His death hit me hard. i didnt truly grieve how i wanted to because as a mother how can you let yourself crumble entirely? you cant. you have to be strong for your children because as a parent youre the strongest person they know. i cant allow myself to be weak in front of aaliyah. The only time im able to truly fall apart is when aaliyah is with her nina and im drinking. i dont know how to express myself sober. once the alcohol starts to set in my mouth just goes like i put fresh batteries in. i have no care in the world who is in the room either. if im aching i spill. I remember the last few nights in the apartment in la mirada. i was the last one drinking and i broke down. the tears wouldnt stop pouring out. i know it hasnt been easy trying to share a child with danny but that man gave me the best gift the world can offer somebody. danny at one point, was my everything. we met when we were 14 so how can he not be. towards the end of his days we got closer , we talked a lot came up with the problems and the solutions to be better at co parenting together. everything was great and then one day i get the call that hes in the icu. fighting for his life. at that moment my heart dissolved completely out of my chest. i couldnt remember how to breathe anymore and i disassociated from reality. i caught myself and grounded into reality again and i didnt know what to feel. i went to go visit him twice during his time in the icu and i had no emotions i didnt know how to process it. death is inevitable. and he passed so quickly. i went to see him at the funeral. aaliyah went up without me and talked to him for a bit. as for me? i didnt go up until it was almost time to leave. seeing him in that coffin did something to me. laying there lifeless when he used to be so full of life. his tattoos. his smile. his sarcasm. his everything. just empty. his sister went up with me and was telling me stories how he would tell them i was being crazy as usual but he was the one who started everything. god i miss him so much. i think one of my biggest regrets is not answering his calls and facetimes every single time he called. not texting him back not letting him see aaliyah. it bothers me and it will always bother me. its one of my biggest regrets and danny i am so sorry. but doing what i did is a part of the trauma that i was left with after everything he did to get into prison after still getting to go out and be a person with a life while i was at home being a parent doing everything. spending every dime i have on her while he gave me nothing. i didnt think it was fair for him to come and go. and like i said towards the end when we were getting better i was slowly opening up myself to him and then he just dies? how is that fair? why couldnt i get more time with him when everything was finally falling into place. how is that fair? i want him back. i want more time with him. i want him to know that hes always had a special place in my heart for him. i dont hate him as much as i told him i did. i just dont know. my heart aches every day for him. and my heart also aches for aaliyah. i wanted her to grow up with a dad because i never had that chance i missed my dad growing up but he was alive. i wanted a bond with my dad and now im finally going arounf him more and thats what i wanted for aaliyah and now she will never know what thats like she wont get that chance and i ache for her. i feel like every time i start to get close to someone again they leave or god takes them from me. maybe thats why i push everyone away because itll be easier to have no feelings when someone finally leaves vs feeling everything and hurting when they do leave. i just wanto be okay again.  

[alorz]

i am once again awake in the middle of the night trying not to spiral from pain. this one is going in the cringe comp

#oh my. GOD. #sitting in a fucking chair!!!!!!😀AND NOW I'M JUST FUCKED #i wanna cry its fine😐 #its .fine. #I'm just. so tired its so fucki g hard not to get existential man there's nothing i can fucking do i just have to sit here in pain its not #fucking fair #whatever. !!! #I'm being dramatic #pers #itll get better in a few days i just. it hurts. everything hurts i just want it to stop hurting please.please . please. h #:-( #painblogging

[stepmom-archive]

I don't know who to talk to so I'm just gonna like do what I always do and talk on here

#anyways my cat hurt her leg somehow today so i had to take out my support and boxspring and put my mattress on the floor so she doesnt have #to jump down and itll give her leg some time to rest without having to deal with that and im also probably going to have to move where i put #her food since its up in a higher place too and i dont know what to do if something is seriously wrong or if her leg gets worse so im gonna #keep an eye on it and if shes not looking any better in three or four days im gonna call the vet on top of that i think theres something #wrong with my dog hes acting kind of off and im not sure if theres something actually wrong or if im just going crazy and imagining things #also my anxiety has been getting worse the past few weeks and i dont know what to do about that and im just stressed all the time about #everything with the pandemic and my future and my family and now my cat is hurt and thats like the LAST thing i needed today was to walk #into my room and see her limping around it hurt me so bad to see her uncomfortable like that and im just like at a loss i literally dont #know what to do because it seems like a bunch of little things just keep going wrong for me and its adding up to be something i dont know #how to handle #walkie.talkie

[surviving---not---living]

What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

#abusive relationship #tw abuse #mine #relationship #please help me #help #relationship advice #fiancé #couple problems #manipulative #maybe #physical abuse #lost #scared #lonely #what do i do

[fluffybunnyartist]

Hey!! Again I can't get enough!! I really appreciate you putting Actually time and effort into our asks! My ask! Can we get a Michael Myers (other SLASHERS) as a meaner more scary yandere?? Like just a more realistic darker version of them with a cute innocent S/O NSFW IF YOU WANT!! AGAIN NO RUSG

Hell ya!! NSFW: Blood, gore, implied sex and noncon.

MICHAEL MYERS

Whatever you did to catch this man's attention you're either one lucky bastard or one unfortunate SOB. Hes extremely possessive and in the first day of him showing you your his you'll be covered in hickies.

You can kick and scream all you want. He has you in his clutches and he needs you. You better learn how to behave. He doesnt like hurting you but will if you dont act nicely.

Friends? Murdered. Family? Pushed away. Any boyfriend/girlfriend? Killed 3 days ago. No one is allowed near you unless you're working or buying groceries. He does know when to let it go.

God forbid anyone flirt or bully you. They're tortured and killed. Only he can do that. Speaking of which his idea of flirting is stealing or murdering people for what he needs for you. That rich family down the street? Murdered and you got some nice shiny jewelry covered in blood.

Now he will wait for consent to fuck you. Hes not a complete monster and you're the only one he loves. But he will grope you, rub up against you and mark you however he pleases. When he kisses you he doesnt expect you to kiss back. Just sit back and take it. Hes still a dom but hes a bit cold. You talked to a cashier for too long and hes left you naked tied to the bed with a vibrator in for an hour.

All in all you're his little doll and hes never loved anyone like you. Just let me play with you Y/N, you'll enjoy it I promise.

JASON VOORHEES

He'd tear anyone to shreds to get to you. You remind him a bit of his mother, so sweet and kind and he wants you. He needs you. So everyone else is slaughter with blood and guts sprayed across the cabin and campgrounds as he carries you to his place.

He ties you up to a bed and a chair during the day so you can sleep at night. Hes very kind, despite slaughtering your friends. He'll treat you like a delicate bird or baby deer. Petting you softly and feeding you from his own plate.

Stay in Pamela's good graces. Mainly be nice to her boy! Dont do drugs and no escaping! If you try he wants hurt you. He'll put you into a timeout. Do it too many times and he'll bend you over his knee and spank you li km e a naughty child. So you're not in much danger.

He's very sweet to you once you get to know him but like Michael he refuses to let anyone come over or near you. He'll chase everyone away. You dont need them, Y/N! All you need is me. He loves to cuddle you. Sweet little pets and even kisses.

Hes more likely to take off the mask if you've earned his trust or promise kisses. Then he'll stay unmasked around you. But only you! He doesnt really make you work but he does appreciate if you clean house a bit.

He always makes sure to have consent before touching you any where other than your hair. He doesnt wanna upset you.

THOMAS HEWITT

Something about you caught his eye. And now here you are at dinner. With your dead friends seated on one side and the large man wearing you best friends face on the other.

Be kind. Dont insult them or itll lead to you being punished. Thomas already made clear that he wants you and he wants you alive so they wouldn't risk killing you but being forced to do hard labor and chopping your friends up for dinner isnt killing you.

He'll spoon feed you the stew made of people. And at dinner you're tied down until further notice. After that you'll be tied to Thomas's bed. He'll feel up on you and touch you no matter how much you squirm. He just cant believe a beautiful creature such as yourself is in his bed. Laying with him!

He likes to cuddle you a lot and he'll grind on you and hump you a ton. Hes never had a sexual outlet before so it's a common occurrence when he just masturbates over your naked body. He loves seeing the look on your face as he cums all over you.

He may actually fuck you without your consent. You're his right? His to take? And he loves you so much. He promises to make you feel good. Just let him in.

BUBBA SAWYER

The fact that you survived one dinner is enough for Bubba to make you his. He'll give you plenty of kisses straight off the bat. He makes sure you're fed and bathed. Usually you're tied up for these.

He doesnt talk so it hard to understand him but he likes to cuddle with you. Sometimes if you cut yourself or get cut he'll lap up the blood and sometimes he likes to bite you.

He can and will kill and eat your friends. If you try to run away or escape you leg or legs may be butchered or mutilated courtesy of Drayton telling Bubba that he needs to so you dont run away again.

Now he'll probably fuck you while you sleep or are so tired you dont know what's going on. He's not so great on consent but that's bc if his upbringing and not out of malice or need to prove your his.

Probably one of the more innocent ones and the only reason he harms you or does freaky shit is bc of his brothers. He likes to make you jewelry out of body parts or steal some from victims.

He'll have Drayton marry you too so you both can have kids together! And he wants lots of kids! He's so happy he found you!

BO SINCLAIR

You're tied up in the chair until you can behave yourself. You get bathroom breaks but only he can take you and hes right inside with you. He'll face the other way he just doesn't want you escaping.

He'll gag you if you keep making noise. He wont glue your lips together bc what if he scars them? You're his perfect little doll. He doesnt want you too injured. So stop struggling in those bindings Y/N. It wont help.

Within the first few days he'll be on top of you grinding and groping. Touching you wherever he can. He loves your body and he wants to make you feel good. Dont you wanna make him feel good too?

Hes aggressive though. He may love you but he wont hesitate to scream or yell at you if hes thinking you're acting like a bitch. Hell come back later being softer and kissing you.

He'll get you to marry him. How can you say no to him? He'll take care of you and your kids! Hes so excited to get his little nuclear family started! After the chair you'll be chained up in his room. Maybe he'll take you for a drive if your good. But hes another one to lock you down fully or cause it so you cant escape.

No he wont cut off your limbs! But maybe if you cant see the exit you wont be able to leave him. Remember even though he loves you he still gets off on your pain a bit.

VINCENT SINCLAIR

More or less Bo thought you'd be good for him and he locked you in the studio where Vincent spends all his time. At first he doesnt know what to do. He leaves you food and water and let's you use the restroom but ues not sure.... but you are really pretty.

Awkward cuddling. Usually when you're asleep he'll nuzzle up to you gently. He doesnt wanna wake you but he wants to be close to you. He'll start drawing you and soon he'll be enamoured with you.

During the day hes polite and kind and offers you things to keep yourself occupied. But at night he let's his fingers and lips wander wherever he wants. Usually you tire yourself out by crying or trying you escape. So you're really conked out by the time he starts to touch you.

He wont mutilate you if you try to escape no. He'll cripple you. He can just carry you where you need to go. He can help you with whatever you want! He can bring you food and water! You can have everything you've ever wanted! But you have to stay here with him.

#bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #bubba saywer x reader #bubba sawyer #michael myers x reader #michael myers #jason vorhees x reader #jason voorhees #jason vorhees imagine #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt #slashers #slasher x reader #slasher

[sablesides-ask-blog]

EDTUTTGV ANGST, YOU SAY?

Hmm... Can You Do “Hold them down.” With A Moceit Mafia AU?

There were things in the world that one had to look out for when going about their day in society.

The first of those was to make sure your food and drink werent poisoned.

The second was to make sure that the men you gave your heart to were trustworthy enough to keep it.

In Patton's case, he believed Janus to be the only man worthy of his heart, the safest person he'd ever met.

Janus made Patton feel comfortable, like nothing in the world could ever and would ever hurt him.

But such mindsets rarely lasted in a world where the slightest of missteps resulted in tragedy.

Patton had only wanted to walk to his date, but it would seem those plans weren't matching up with those of others.

Typically he wouldve been able to fight off attackers, Janus hadnt gotten him self defense classes for nothing after all. And he had been doing quite well for a bit.

"Hold him down."

And then he felt something press down on his neck.

And then everything went dark.

Until he woke up with a bag over his head, ropes over his wrists and ankles, and cloth in his mouth.

"So this is Jan's new pet huh? I have to say, he couldve done better," Patton heard someone speak from farther away.

"Well a few months foodless should fix that," said another.

"Oh itll fix more than just his looks that's for sure,"

Patton tried to fight his way out of the ropes, only to get a slap across the face.

"Oh dont worry, if Janny remembers to pay us on time itll be perfectly alright."

But Janus hadnt paid on time.

It seemed like weeks before anything happened with Janus at all.

The first clue was a guttural scream and a hiss from another room.

The second was the feeling of scales along the side of Patton's body, Janus had brought friends.

The third was the revving of a chainsaw.

And the forth was the feeling of cold air on Patton's skin and the gentle caress of a gloved hand along his face.

"Janus. . ." Patton whispered hoarsely.

"I'm here my angel, now rest your voice, ill have you fixed up in no time darling," Janus said, sweeping Patton off his feet and walking away, several large pythons and other snakes following behind him, all looking relatively well fed.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@nova-xx

@softestpatton

@meowthefluffy

@a-deceit-salad

@nerosdayinhell

@soupforfree

@willowaudreykeyes

@frawkeye

@the-sad-strawberry

@sneaky-slytherin

@private-snippers

#cori answers #ts patton #ts janus #tw kidnapping #tw starvation #moceit #romantic moceit

[ranger-jedi-knight]

I Thought You Wouldn’t Hurt Me, But You Did Part 8

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22839535/chapters/59348257 Tag List: @marinettepotterandplagg @emo-elaine13 @queenmj10

Ok, so this is a few different people’s prompts/ideas in one! The gist is the aftermath of Adrien and Alya getting sued and thinking they did nothing wrong and blame Mari n get mad at her. And then a small(??) little thing of whats happened in Damian’s POV. id post the prompts but theyre long and its a hassle sometimes to deal with on Tumblr or even on AO3.

Adrien was growling as he stormed into school. Yesterday the lawyers met with him and his father to talk about Mari’s demands. And his father agreed to everything demanded even when he said no. He did nothing wrong! This just isn’t fair! They’re friends for goodness sake! He just couldn’t figure out why this is happening!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alya was practically spitting fire at this point. She couldn’t understand!

She was the reporter!

She brought down justice!

She was the victim here!

She started typing angrily on her laptop in her room, planning on exposing Mari for the fake she is. Right alongside Lila Rossi. She smirked happily at the thought. Not even their cronies could stop her!

“Alya! There’s someone here to see you!” Nora called out and Alya groaned, a scowl painted her lips.

“Coming!” she shouted leaving her room and seeing at the door was a lady wearing a suit and her parents glaring at her along with Alya. “What?” she asked looking between them confused.

“You are being sued, Alya,” her mom said and Alya scowled.

“Mari has to be bluffing,” she said and the suit lady shook her head.

“Mz. Dupain-Cheng is not bluffing, Mz. Cesaire. She is suing you for defamation, harassment, and attacking her. She is asking that this stays out of court. So, she asks that you delete your blog, never write anything about her again, or talk or come near her ever again. You do that, then this won’t go to court. But if you break a single thing then she will take you to court and sue you for the money needed to pay for her medical bills,” the woman said holding the file to Alya’s mom who took it and skimmed throu it. Her face was pale when she finished and she nodded hurriedly.

“Yes, we agree with that. I’ll do it right now,” Mrs. Cesaire said pushing Alya into her room and sitting down at the desk with the lawyer right behind her, watching as her mom deleted her blog.

“What! No! She can’t do that!” Alya cried and both the lawyer and her mom turned to glare at her.

“Yes, she can. You pushed her down concrete stairs and caused her to be paralyzed for the rest of her life, young lady. Your lucky she isn’t suing you for the medical bill now,” her mom said clicking delete while Alya screeched in outrage.

“Good. I hope you don’t have to hear from us again. The Dupain-Chengs will also like to say this, your daughter is banned from ever entering the bakery or even buying from the bakery ever again. Your family is only allowed to buy for special occasions, otherwise, they don’t wish to see you in their bakery,” she said and Alya’s parents sighed but nodded understanding.

“We understand. Please, tell them how very sorry we are that this happened,” she said and the lawyer nodded.

“I will. Good day,” the lawyer gave a nod before leaving. When Alya opened her mouth to say something, both her parents and Nora glared at her. Alya’s mouth slipped shut as she hunkered slightly at the looks.

“You are in a lot of trouble, young lady,” her mom said while her dad nodded agreement and Alya looks away with a glare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mari didn’t know what she was rolling into when she entered the courtyard talking to Chloe, Nino, and Lila. The two were doing way better now and doing everything they could to show they were turning over a new leaf for the wheelchair-bound girl. And that pleased Mari greatly. She could see how sincere they were too.

“Marinette!” Adrien shouted stomping up to the girl. Mari glared at Adrien and noticed Alya was outside the school, her phone raised. Looks like they planned this, Mari thought as Adrien stopped them before they got too far from the entrance.

“What do you want, Agreste? You know the restraining order’s details,” she said coldly and watched from the corner of her eye as Ivan went and got their teacher Lana.

“It’s not fair the terms you demanded! I did nothing wrong!” Adrien shouted and Mari glared while Alya smiled sickeningly at that.

“Ya, I can’t believe you forced me to shut down the LadyBlog! And threatened my mom to get her to agree!” Alya added and that had students looking at the group warily.

“I didn’t threaten anyone, Cesaire, Agreste,” that had most of the students flinching at how cold her tone was. “You two caused me so much pain. My demands are quite reasonable. I had to keep my lawyers from demanding more. As for the threat you say, Cesaire, I’m fully inclined to ask you to pay all my medical bills since you caused me to be in this wheelchair. And from the position of your phone,” she gives Alya’s phone a pointed look and smirk, “you’re breaking the terms of the agreement already and will be taken to court to see if a judge, which they probably will, agree to my terms of my assaulter, you, paying for all my medical bills that resulted from the attack,” she said and everyone glared at Alya.

“That’s just ridiculous!” Alya shouted.

“Marinette, this is out of control. We’re your friends!” Adrien said and Mari scowled while the rest of the class grimaces. They understood what they did wrong. They knew they aren’t friends with Mari anymore.

They were civil.

They did what they could to show Mari they were sorry but knew not to push. But those two didn’t get the message.

“No, Cesaire, Agreste, we aren’t friends, nor is it ridiculous. Agreste, you harassed me for trying to tell everyone the truth. You treated me like I was the one causing all the bullying. And Cesaire, you pushed me down concrete stairs. You put me in a wheelchair. You published articles slandering me and my family. I am perfectly in my right to sue you for assault and slander. We aren’t friends, nor will we ever be friends, nor will I ever think about you again. You are dead to me. I don’t care what you do with your lives as long as you never talk to me again or try slandering my name,” she said and right then Lana came over with a stern expression as she grabbed Adrien’s arm and marched over to Alya and grabbed her arm as well.

She glared at the two as she forced them to sit on the steps. “You two knew the terms of the restraining order. You two are in big trouble. I’ve already contacted your parents and the police and we will stay here until they arrive. Miss Dupain-Cheng explicitly stated in the restraining order that if caught breaking the terms and conditions, she will take you to court. You better hope your parents take it easy on you,” Lana said and the two gulped as they stared at the icy expression on their now former teachers face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian smirked as he watched Miss Grayson walk the two hooligans out of the courtyard. He was pleased to see the two getting what they deserved as he watched their parents arrive berating them while the police arrived themselves and put them into their cruiser to take them to the station.

People were muttering around him when they saw Agreste’s father, Gabriel, appear since the man was practically a cryptid. He rolled his eyes at that as he made his way over to Mari with a small smile on his lips. “Are you alright, Angel?” he asked leaning down to press a chaste kiss to her lips before looking over her face.

“Yes, I’m alright, Dove. A little shaken, but fine,” she answered and he nodded with a small smile.

“That’s good. Why don’t we get to class now?” he suggested and Mari nodded and let Damian push her forward, Lila and Chloe following them.

Ok, ya, this is short. But, ive been losing inspiration for this fic. Im sorry. For the time being, this fic is now on Hiatus. I dont know when or if I’ll come back to this. You can keep sending prompts but just be warned that itll be quite a while before their used. Again Im sorry, I hope you enjoyed this chap nonetheless. Until next time -Love Willa<3<3

#fan fic #fanfic #fanfic update #update #my writing #maribat #daminette #ml x dc #ITYWHMBYD #part 8 #sorry #HIATUS

[creepypastashavecomittedtaxfraud]

hey,, could you please do toby, masky and hoodie comforting their s/o with cuddling and stuff (separate, please)? Or if you've done it before, could you maybe link it? I'm not feeling the best right now and need some fluffy comfort, thank you 💕 (you're the best

Yes of course!!! I hope you’re feeling better or these help you 💕

Ticci toby:

Toby’s very sensitive to your feelings, especially when you feel bad, he’ll probably at first try to play up being carefree and upbeat and try get your mind off it and get you to think about something more fun, but if you’re really low right now and can’t really try to be happy right now he gets it

He puts his arm around you and gets you to sit or lay down with him in your room. he takes his mouth guard and goggles off and brings you in close and asks you to talk about it, kissing your forehead and resting his face on yours. he likes to hold your hand and trace it with his fingers while you cry about whatever’s bothering you to him

even if you don’t really want to, he’ll pry a bit to try to get you to, unless you get really really upset then he’ll back off, but he just wants you to confide in him. and hopes you know he’d always want you to feel comfortable enough to talk about whats bothering you...but he still does get it, some things are just too sensitive 

He holds you so close, you feel very warm and comfortable, he mutters small comforting words to you while rocking back and forth gently, calls you sweet things, tells you just how much he loves you, lets you know that absolutely everythings going to be ok. and if you start crying he’s going to start watering up too. The only time he feels really hurt is when he sees his baby hurt

when he’s sad, he just lays in bed and does nothing, so he encourages you to lay in bed with him and cuddle until you feel better. then when you feel better two can take a little walk around outside and let the cold air help clear your head. he says itll make you feel refreshed. he holds your hand, and every time you look over at him you see he’s lovingly and worriedly watching you. you feel very cared for with him

Masky: 

Honestly seeing you sad makes him feel slightly panicked. even if you just seem kind of quiet he’ll just keep a close eye on you. but if youre full on crying and obviously very upset? he hurriedly scoops you up into his arms and is asking whats wrong, petting your hair comfortingly, you can just Hear the worry and ache in his voice from seeing you in that state

he takes you somewhere quiet where you two can be alone, somewhere outside in the forest or you two’s room or somewhere similar you can feel safe and lay down or sit with him

he sits next to you and holds your hands in his and wipes away your tears very tenderly, and asks you in his most loving calm voice to talk to him. he takes his mask off around you most of the time already, and he does now too so he can give you kisses while you tell him all about what happened and why you’re upset

listens to you quietly, just letting you get absolutely everything off your chest till youre sobbing and heaving and then hugs you firmly and tightly, letting your tears soak into his clothes. he wipes them away with his hands and lays down wherever you are and holds you as tightly as he can. he feels so helpless when you’re upset, all he can do is hold you and hold your hands and kiss you and let you know he’s here for you

once you’re feeling calmer he’s very hesitant to let you go and let you continue with your day . you’ll catch him lingering close to wherever you are and watching you go about your day for at least a few days after a breakdown like that. and if you during that time start to seem sad or about to cry he’ll be rushing to your side and taking you back to your preferred quiet place and doing it all over again. He just wants to comfort and support you always, he wishes he could always watch over you like that forever

Hoody:

Oh god, he’s not the emotional type but seeing you sad or upset makes him absolutely freeze up. he pulls you aside and you can tell he’s deeply worried for you without him even saying anything. but he does pull up his mask and ask if you’re ok, in a tone of voice you very rarely hear out of him, even more rarely than you actually hear him speak

if you grab him and give him a hug he hugs you back tightly, you two stay like that for a while and you maybe even start crying right there, but he doesn’t let go of you. pets your hair and your back gently and comfortingly while you hold onto him like that. 

takes you outside into the fresh air and walks you around in the forest while you cry, he takes off his jacket/hood and put it around you, keeps his arm around you and lets you sob and cry , you can talk about whats wrong if you want but you don’t have to. You two will probably stop walking for brief periods while out there and he’ll give you some water he always keeps on him . he still doesn’t talk much but his hold on you is very protective and comforting and caring. 

You two stop after a long while of walking and talking and crying and sit in the grass/earth and lean up against a rock or a tree. He takes his gloves off and holds your hand in his and tells you quietly that he loves you. and not to be sad, it’s ok, he’s right here here. He tells you that over and over and lets you lean up against him and cry more. he pulls you in and kisses the top of your head comfortingly and pats your back

 by the time you two walk home its probably getting a little dark and cold, he keeps his arms around you while you walk and pulls his mask back over his face. he feel like he’s watching over you and protecting you from everything that could hurt you. he loves you so much

#ticci toby x reader #masky x reader #hoody x reader #hoodie x reader #creepypasta x reader #i hope you like these!!! #angelwithglasswings

[mollydollyjournals]

Maybe I need to just like. Scream. Loudly. For a few hours.

My concentration is still so bad I'm barely getting anywhere with this same set of nails. Still. I'm trying to keep working on it but my mind is just not doing it because I feel constantly on edge. This is day 3. One set of nails! Jesus they're not that good. I take a long time to do most things but my mind is really just not functioning.

I'm feeling really particularly isolated again. I have nothing to say that might be of interest to anyone else. I dont really even know how to respond to the small amount of interaction I do get. A friend has started being more talkative in our group chat and sent me a message asking for some info on nail art techniques - maybe I'm being self centred but I feel like it could at least partially be an effort to get me talking. If so I appreciate it. But I still dont really have anything to say beyond quick surface responses.

My mum asked if I'm going to see her this weekend. I wouldn't on Sundays because she has a zoom call with relatives I dont want to talk to. It occurred to me that saturday is tomorrow. Part of me wants to go to hers and drink red wine and just connect with someone. The one person who's almost always had my back, or at least has never seriously intentionally opposed me. I want to go see my dog and my kitten and tell her that actually I'm doing pretty bad, I'll probably be divorced by xmas and sometimes I hear things that arent particularly confusing or distressing but they're definitely not real.

But that's not how it works in our dynamic. She had a serious psychotic episode when I was a teenager, and I took care of it all. My younger brother has ongoing psychosis. It's in our family. If I say I hear things she'll only panic. My doctor knows so it's not a secret - if theres one thing I learned from both of their cases, it's not to stay in denial. But theres no point telling her. And the divorce stuff? She'll internalise it. One of her children is dead, one is an ongoing psychiatric case with not much of a future because he's also actually a pretty terrible person, and the last one is me. She feels bad enough because her "marriage failed," which is a weird phrase her generation seem to use. She told me before not to date other people in case it hurts my "marriage." She'll think it's that, and start spiralling about her history with my dad and the one guy she's dated since they divorced. She won't believe me and hb were fine having other relationships and the issues arent to do with that, and I dont have the energy to talk through her stuff again.

Maybe it's getting to me more than I think. It's not like I didnt know this shitstorm was coming. But now it advances. Like I heard the forecast before, but now I can see it on the horizon. Now I have to really truly consider moving out of the house and splitting up the cats and whatever else. Thinking about it, maybe i should talk to my mum. Itll almost definitely be her I move in with if it all goes through. But then maybe I should only talk about it if I'm sure.

I dont know. I'm jealous of everyone with good parental relationships. I still havent even texted my dad for his birthday. I guess I should do that. I kind of miss when all 4 of us go back to my dad's house for drinks, us and my half brother. But that's not going to happen for a long time yet, for all kinds of reasons. Maybe it never will again. I'm catastrophising I guess. But it's hard not to with the current track record. I just feel like there isnt any evidence of positive things. Really, truly. The best thing that's happened to me recently is I sent the rented carpet cleaner off and then saw that my cat did a big healthy shit in the middle of the carpet. I have to be happy about that because it means hes not losing his guts to diarrhea and vomiting like he was before. But I still have to deal with a hygienic nightmare and probably a stressed cat picking up on my mental state. And I still have to gauge the whole situation based on a literal pile of shit.

I feel like thinking positive is just kidding myself and giving into my genetic tendency towards psychosis. If I'm going to convince myself of something that isnt real in order to make myself feel better, why not lose myself in a fantasy entirely? I should just build an entire world where everything is okay and lock myself away in it. Why stop at just telling myself that this one bad thing or another won't happen.

I try my best to stay grounded in reality to avoid ending up in that kind of mental state. But reality is fucking tiring. I know my life isnt the worst in the world by far, I dont mean that. But we're all going through some extra shit these past couple of years. I struggle not to take that on too. Not that it even helps. We had a mass shooting here today and I'm thinking about the people who thought they were safe because they live in England where firearms are extremely rare, the parents of the child who died, the people living in that area who will feel so unsafe now, and all the pro-gun lobbyists in the US who will use this as a reasoning that gun control doesn't work thus keeping millions of other people at risk as long as those laws dont change. But god. I would be dead many times over if guns were as easy to buy here as they are over there.

And then I think about all the people that have been lost to situations like that. I'm multiracial and have family in multiple different places - I was always raised with the idea that you dont stop caring about people just because they're not in the same country as you. And it's true, you shouldnt. But I've internalised a lot of it as fear and sorrow and idk what else. Just bad feelings. Feeling like the world is such a terrible place, that I cant deal with my own suffering, and that if I can't deal with that then what about the people who have it worse? What can I do??

What can I do for anyone when I cant even paint a single set of nails?

I'm sure of all kinds of bad things happening. I dont want to be. Some of them I couldnt prove, so maybe it's just my mind. Many look likely. I dont know how to deal. I am all the worst parts of each of my parents and this is the result. I wish therapy was more of a thing last century. They should never have had kids. My older brother got off easy by dying. Incidentally I have to somehow gather money for his gravestone soon as nobody else in my family ever offered to help my parents with it in all this time and it's only just been put up now when I said I'd help my mum with it. I never even fucking met him. My life is like a bad tv show. Not an interesting one, not a well written drama or tragedy, just bad.

[ayatosmlktea]

Is it possible for you to do a royal au? Where king Levi is in love with one of his servants (reader) but she keeps on pushing it away bc she knows itll taint his name and doesnt want to cause him any trouble even if she does love him in return. But u know Levi, he dont care about anything and tries to tell her that it doesnt matter what everyone else thinks and she agrees to be his ❤

A/N: I love this idea so much!!!!!!

𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝑨𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒔 ❤️

“Y/N wait up!” She turns around to findJean running after her his arms carrying what looked like clothes.

“His royal crankiness asked me to tell you to bring him his evening tea.”

“Jean don’t call him that! Someone could hear you.” Y/N scolds but can’t help chuckling at the blond’s nickname for Levi. Rolling his eyes he shoves the clothes into her hands.

“Yeah yeah, weird how he’s always asking for your though. Something going on between you two?” She feels her cheeks heat up as he wiggles his eyebrows micheivously at her.

“O-Of course not! He’s the King, Jean. I’m just a servant, besides it’s not my fault if I do your job better than you.” He rolls his eyes playfully shoving her shoulder.

“Whatever Y/N, you’d better hurry up he seemed pretty impatient. See you later!” Jean waves his goodbyes, disappearing around the corner as she makes her way to Levi’s room, knowing she could bring him the tea later. Their secret relationship was thrilling, albeit risky at times sometimes she couldn’t believe that someone as powerful as him could want to be with her but Levi always reminded her of how special she was to him.  She felt butterflies fluttering around her stomach, they hadn’t had a chance to see each other privately for a few days and she missed his presence.

“Tch, took you long enough.” Locking the door behind her she feels her mouth water as she takes in his appearance. He’d obviously just gotten out of the bath, his hair still damp water droplets running down his bare chest and his towel hanging dangerously low. Smirking at her expression he strides over cradling her face in his hands as he leans down.

“God I missed you.” His lips capture hers, her fingers immediately tangling themselves in his hair as the forgotten clothes drop to the floor.

Humming softly to herself, Y/N adjusts her dress and makes her way to her quarters for the night. She smiles softly, biting her lip as she recalls their…passionate evening together.

“I think it’s time he finally finds a wife. The kingdom needs a queen.” One of Levi’s advisors complains, instantly Y/N feels her heart drop into her stomach.

“I agree. He needs someone of noble reputation, not some air headed servant girl.” Well so much for it being a secret. Their words twist in her gut like a knife, she loved Levi but knew that they could never actually become a public item because of his status. Making up her mind she trudges back to her room feeling her heart breaking.

Y/N tries to hide her blush as she sets Levi’s dinner in front of him,  his fingers brushing along the length of her inner arm. She pulls back quickly before any of the other servants see their King affectionately stroking her arm knowing their gossip would spread to others in town. Clicking his tongue in annoyance he leans back in his chair, his expressionless eyes narrowing into slits.

“Y/N what is this shit table setting? I thought you were taught better than that.” His sudden voice startles her and she instinctively moves away from him hanging her head in embarrassment. Swiping his finger under the edge of the table he brings it closer to his face.

“And what is this? Dust?” The other servants in the room turn to stare at her in shock. Each one of them knew how picky Levi was about keeping the castle clean, especially the dining room. Her palms start to sweat as she finds herself unable to respond or look up at him.

“Tch, everyone out. Except you.” He orders cooly, getting up he bars the door and loosens the first few buttons of his dress shirt. Y/N can’t help but gulp in anticipation, she knew what was coming. For the last few weeks she had started distancing herself from Levi, not wanting to ruin his reputation with her own. He was the King and she was just a poor servant girl. What would the people say if it was made public that he was involved with someone who had nothing and who had come from nothing. His eyes are predatory as he backs her up against the edge of the table his arms on either side preventing her from escaping.

“You’ve been avoiding me Y/N, why?” He asks leaving a trail of kisses up her neck. She bites her lip to stifle a moan, out of habit she moves her head to the side giving him more room but stops herself quickly as his advisors words float around her mind.  

“I’ve been busy Sir, I apologize the table setting was messy.” She gulps refusing to meet his prying eyes.

“There’s nothing wrong with the damn table setting brat. I miss you.” His hands grip her waist bringing her body flush against his. She leans into the warmth radiating from his body inhaling the smell of his cologne, it had been a while since they had been this close and while her mind was screaming at her to pull away her body wanted him more. Bracing her hands against his shoulders she tries to collect her thoughts and ignore the hand snaking its way up the front of her dress to cup her face.

“I think it’s best if we stop seeing each Sir.” Her words make him freeze, his eyes narrowing as he grabs her chin and forces her to look at him.

“Didn’t I tell you to drop the ‘sir’ shit when we’re alone?” His face is dangerously closer to hers, she wants nothing more than to close the gap between them and kiss him but she can’t.

“You have a reputation to maintain Levi. You can’t just keep screwing around with some stupid servant. There’s no future for you there.” She forces herself to be harsh, to harden her heart against the feelings of love that had wormed their way in.

“Bullshit. I don’t give a fuck about my reputation and you know that! I love you Y/N and if you can’t see it yet then you’re just as blind as you are beautiful.” Typical of Levi to insult her while complimenting her and damn her traitor heart for beating faster.

“Levi, please! Think about it rationally. You have a kingdom to run, a bloodline to continue. I can’t offer you anything!” Batting away the hand on her chin she tries to put distance between them, which was challenging as he effortlessly shoved her back against the table, his body towering over hers. She feels her eyes start to well up with angry tears, why was he making this so hard? Why couldn’t he just accept that they weren’t meant to be together and go find some rich princess to marry?

“I am thinking rationally, idiot! You’re the one whose brains have gone to shit. When have I ever cared about your background?” No longer wanting to play this dragged out game of cat and mouse Levi beings to lose his temper, like hell he was going to let her go because of something so trivial as where she came from.

“When have I ever made you feel like I don’t love you? My future means shit if you’re not in it. You’re the only one I want and I know you want me too so stop trying to convince yourself that you’re doing this for me. It’s fine if you’re scared, but if you’re going to let everything we have together go because you think I care about the opinion of my shitty advisors then you obviously don’t know me very well.”

Y/N feels her self control evaporate and she lunges forward. Her hands balling up the material of his shirt, mashing their lips together in a hard kiss. Levi groans into her mouth his hand coming back up to cradle the back of her head, their noses brushing against each other. His tongue swipes along her bottom lip and she complies parting her lips as he maps out her mouth like he’d done many times before. Her teeth pull on his bottom lip making him growl and grab her hip roughly. His lips were fire against her skin, igniting an insatiable need to have him closer to her. Levi moves down to her neck sucking harshly on her soft skin, her hands move up to grab fistfuls of his hair as she gasps loudly.

“Levi don’t, people will see.” She pants as his teeth graze over her sensitive skin the mixture of pain and pleasure was intoxicating as he continues to mark her neck. Pulling back to admire his work he places a soft kiss against the large red hickey.

“I’m sure they already know Y/N, you’re not exactly quiet.” He chuckles placing another gentle kiss on her lips.

“Are you sure you want to be with me? People talk you know.” Her voice is quiet not wanting to ruin the mood.

“I don’t care. I want you, all of you. Forever.” Y/N buries her face into the crook of his neck smiling so hard her cheeks hurt. How could she ever doubt his feelings for her?

“Oh! Your dinner is cold now!” She exclaims pulling back to find him smirking playfully.

“I guess you’re just going to have to bring me some more later then.” Batting her eyelashes lustfully she leans forward to whisper in his ear.

“I think I can do that.”

Part 2

Masterlist

#attack on titan #levi ackerman #aot #levi x reader #aot x reader #snk #snk x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan blog #levi attack on titan #aot au #reader insert #requests

[originlist]

bron thots and hcs 99% harvested from rambling i sent to charri and didnt wanna retype yet

thinking about avicebrons workshop as i write. it is... a nice place to be i think. in my terms of nice. avicebron keeps it comfortably warm bc he likes it better that way. it smells like earth. warmly lit. there are various comfortable chairs because he used to just have one or two for himself and then he realized people kept coming by so hes just [sighs and adds another good chair and someone else drags in a bean bag or some shit]. hes got a bookshelf full of things. theres clutter but its an interesting kind of clutter and he knows where everything is anyways and the floor is cleared so ur not gonna trip over anything except maybe a golems whos keeping it tidy. its a chill place to read a book and if u ask nicely u can use some of the clay he keeps to makes lil figures with for fun. thonk bron: im going to make a place i like being in as a workshop narrator: this means other people will also like being there and sometimes hang out with you, which means you will be forced to acknowledge The Existence Of Other People bron: fuck. ive played myself

one day i will reread my source on kabbalah and itll be the end for everyone bc ive been interested in it since freshman year but its hard to find sources. and i have Thots about his golems but ill properly phrase them once im able to look thru my other primary source, for now i just ramble but basically his current golems except Adam arent like True Golems and even Adam is iffy because its moved past what a golem is

so proper golems are entities made thru certain specific magical rituals, and they are beings created generally by rabbis with a background in mysticism in order to help the community. a proper golem is highly autonomous and able to think on (almost) human level on its own, somewhat similar to a homunculus in proper homunculus lore but also, not. dont worry about it. i dont have the time to get into it. but one day. thats a threat. the final piece to animating them is writing on either them or an amulet they are given, which they can be returned back to earth by erasing the first letter they are, specifically, made to either help or protect which is why the reactor core thing is [singsong] bullshiiiiiiit

avicebrons golems are quickly made things that are more like basic familiars, as they possess a lower level of thought and dont follow ritual, the handoff of being less autonomy in exchange for being able to make a lot of them very quickly and easily so he doesnt count them as Proper Golems but he also classes them as More Useful For Our Situation Than A Proper Golem they can do chores and they will keep u safe but they also dissolve after a few hits

look the man’s disabled and he uses golems to make up for the fact, he doesnt need them to be durable or fully sapient he just needs them to do chores when he cant move his arms all the way and his back hurts

adam however (his NP) is a Proper Golem Plus Some. im ignoring the part where its like 'in fgo he also would need a mage or high level reactor to be its core' because thats stupid a proper golem doesnt need a core it just needs mystic words and some other stuff, but in exchange ill say he writes life into it using some part of his own magic plus whats drawn from his master, and the rest of Adam's unique reality marble ability is that it can pull mana from the earth directly quickly made familiars have mineral cores in order to like..... cores are the equivalent of when u pull back a ball on those clacker desk toys, where they keep going back and forth for longer than they should? the core jump starts the mana conversion procedure allowing it to create energy to move bc gems in fate are a good prana conduit

he can still do the thing of like. fuck i forget the word for it. earthbending. like he does in apoc where he just kinda draws shapes out of soil, but its only for various kinds of dirt. cant rly fuck with gems or metal but hes got bigass clay jars in his workshop full of dirt and clay and Various Rocks to make stuff ut of that he can control with a hand wave. it makes his life easier. bron vc do i LOOK like i can lift anything. i thought not.

uuhhhh other random bron infodumps bc i made other posts and then deleted them

no legge, prosthetics start at the hip ball-and-socket joint. arms yes. the second pair of arms is removable and attached to a thin plate that he can attach under his shoulders. the secondary shoulder joint is technically hypermobile and its easier to dematerialize/rematierialize them instead of putting them on and off. theyre usually not out unless he needs them for something. he is ambidextrious with all four of them and will show off in the name of efficient multitasking.

got a lotta facial scars from having acne as a young adult. pockmarks and the like. on top of his whole body being fucky.

does not like the cold!! makes both his physical and prosthetic joints feel stiff. will not mention it but will just [slowly recedes further into his cloak]

his hair is not as fun as it looks (to me). he hates having a body in general and so he will intentionally refuse to care for any non-prosthetic part of himself properly for it until it gets bad, so his hair is generally kinda dry and messy. its not Bad bad but its not great.

he takes better care of his fake legs than he does the parts of his body he cant replace and u should yell at him for it.

his cloak is also not as heavy as it looks like it should be. its carefully balanced. he can and will however bonk you with the pointy bits if you stand too close to him. forcibly mandated 4-ft personal bubble.

THIS MAN CLICK CLACKS WHEN HE MOVES AND I DONT CARE WHAT APOCS LACK OF SOUND EFFECTS TRIES TO IMPLY. this man WILL go click clack between his feet and the metal decoration thingies on his cloak bonking each other.

people who know shit about golem lore feel free to tell me all my books are packed but thoughts ping like ping-pongs

actually just tell me about folklore in general from any of u i like legends and mysticism 

if u have read this far tell me about some of ur folklore

#theres this one movie about a golem from like...... i dont know... the 60s.... its old... and idr the name but fsr the golem from it is like #permanently emblazoned into my brain. he hangs out there. he is shaped like my friend. i would trust him with my life. #brons im iffy on. i do not think they are shaped like friends but at least they get the job done #headcanon : avicebron