#it's ultimately a good thing because it's not like I can go back and just not have massive dissociative amnesiac shit be part of my brain

[xamag-draws]

BBR thoughts 2024

Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies

This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not

So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters

I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash

I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted

Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it

At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do

Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction

So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older

I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet

When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"

But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work

If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now

I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:

Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)

I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat

I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least

I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example

I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep

I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor

I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence

The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers

Some new Dolly outfits

Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days

Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo

I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused

One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book

An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well

So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)

#my art #xam rambles #the black brick road of oz

[nateezfics]

THINGS ATEEZ SAY IN BED: SAN

↳ things ateez say during sex. san version.

↳ warning: smut, dirty/sexual language

• “is that how you wanna play? fine, i’ll play along, but just remember you asked for this.”

• “what was that? say that again. i dare you.”

• “oh c’mon, where’s that attitude from earlier? don’t tell me it’s all gone just because you’ve got my cock in you.”

• “if you don’t behave, i’ll spank you. but then again, you might like that too much.”

• “see, precious, this is what happens when you’re good; you get rewarded. isn’t it nice?”

• “open your mouth. i’m gonna stuff it with my cock so you won’t be able to mouth off to me again.”

• “i love you even though you are a brat to me way too often.”

• “always so eager to take my cock. filthy.”

• “you have been so good for me, precious. lay back and let me worship you.”

• “you want more? what’s the magic word? ah, there you go.”

• “you mean to tell me that you were acting like a little brat just to get my attention? oh precious, if you wanted me to fuck you so bad, you could’ve just asked.”

• “fuck, precious, your nails digging into my back are gonna drive me crazy.”

• “leave your mark on me, and i’ll do the same for you.”

• “stop wiggling or else i’ll have to tie you up.”

• “precious, if you keep moaning like that, i might cum too early.”

• “okay precious, suck on my fingers. we gotta keep quiet or else they’ll hear us.”

• “you’re really crying, huh? feels that good?”

• “look at me while you cum, precious. ah, you’re so pretty.”

• “brats don’t get to make demands. face down, ass up.”

• “i’ll deal with you at home. now behave, precious, unless you don’t want a single orgasm at all tonight.”

AUTHOR’S NOTES — i am of the opinion that san leans more towards being a hard dom. in fact, i think all three of the demon line are more hard doms. i think they can have their soft moments for sure, but ultimately they love to be a little more rough during the deed. i also am fully convinced they are brat tamers, especially hongjoong and san ;3

ALL FICS ARE THE ORIGINAL IDEAS AND WRITTEN WORKS OF NATEEZFICS. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. REPOSTING WITHOUT CONSENT FROM THE AUTHOR NATEEZFICS IS PROHIBITED!

#san smut #ateez smut #ateez smut drabbles #san smut drabbles #san x reader #ateez x reader #san fanfiction #ateez fanfiction #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios

[gojoidyll]

puzzle piece ch. 1

yandere ! aventurine x female ! reader

summary | all it takes is putting all the pieces together in order to go back to how you once were. though, it won't do you any good if someone is deliberately destroying the pieces before you can find them.

warnings | memory loss, paranoia, grammatical errors, etc.

puzzle piece masterlist

"Lost?"

You looked over at the person who spoke, lips pursed together as you shook your head. "No, I'm not..." which was a lie. You were, in fact, lost. Though, being lost was an understatement. You couldn’t remember anything, if you were being honest. Your name, where you are, where you came from, if you were with someone... all of it was just a blur right now. And it wasn’t helping that your surroundings looked so off. Lamps, chairs, and other items floated freely in the air. Not to mention that you always felt like you were about to wake but couldn’t quite do so.

"You sure? Because where I’m standing, friend, you do."

'Friend?' You finally looked over at him, your eyes scanning him up and down. His blonde hair and multi-colored eyes were the first things of his appearance that stood out to you.

"I’m sorry, do we... know each other?"

"Forgetting me already? We met this morning when you and the rest of the Astral Express crew got to Penacony and ran into some trouble at the front desk."

“Astral Express? Penacony?” The more the man said, the more confused you got. Nothing was making sense and your memories were not coming back to you no matter how much you tried. You looked him in the eyes then, but despite your confusion and your silent cry for help in understanding anything he was saying, he merely smiled.

"Something wrong?"

You wanted to answer him truthfully. Tell him that you couldn’t remember, that this place was apparently called Penacony, that you don’t know what an Astral Express is, and that you have never seen him before. But... something deep inside of you was telling you not to tell him a single thing. A deep part of yourself was telling you to lie.

"I-" You didn’t know what to do. Briefly looking around, you saw that no one was coming to talk to you like this man did. Which probably meant that no one else here knew who you were either.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t remember anything that you just mentioned. I don’t know the Astral Express or Penacony... and I don’t remember you either.”

Ultimately, you decided to tell the truth despite the alarm bells going off in your head. You were lost, had no memory of where or who you were, and you may or may not have friends that are also in this place. So, you decided to take a chance even if that chance is with this guy with a smile that could cut through any lie. And, little did you know, when you finished telling your truthful answer, his smile grew wider if only by a slight margin.

“You don’t remember? Well, that’s a shame. Weird too. I never heard of anyone losing their memory in the dreamscape.”

“The what scape?” The man chuckled, “you don’t even know that you’re dreaming? How tragic.”

You frowned, “I’m dreaming? That doesn’t make any sense. If I’m dreaming, then how are you here? You seem too real to be someone that I dreamed up.”

The man merely shrugged, “it’ll take too long to explain. For now, just accept that Penacony is a land of dreams where people go to escape reality. And everyone here shares the same dream.”

“So, you are a real person,” you tried to affirm.

“As real as you, I can promise that.” You sighed, “fine so I lost my memory then? How is that possible?”

“That, I am not too sure of. A case like yours has never happened before, but... since people can apparently die here, well, maybe losing one’s memory isn’t so far-fetched either.”

“Wait, what was that about dying here?”

The man waved his hand in a dismissive manner, “nothing you should concern yourself with. Trust me, even if you ask around about what I just said. No one will know. The Family, of course, is just trying to cover it in order to not cause a riot.”

“The Family? My family or yours?”

He smiled that same calculating smile of his, “it’s not that type of family... just see them as... an organization.”

You nodded along. Truth be told, this was starting to be too much for you. Trying to process all the new information being lightly tossed to you was starting to make your head hurt. You slightly wondered if you would even be able to remember this new info then the memories you have previously lost.

The man, taking notice of your worried expression, decided to leave it at that, “for now, let’s get you out of this dream so you can properly rest, and then tomorrow we can start looking into this little problem of yours together.”

“Right, thanks…”

“I’m Aventurine, and you’re y/n, just in case you were wondering.”

#hsr #honkai star rail #honkai star rail aventurine #hsr aventurine #yandere aventurine x you #yandere aventurine x reader #yandere aventurine x y/n #yandere aventurine #aventurine x y/n #aventurine x you #aventurine x reader #aventurine

[catnipaddictt]

jailbreak

scott barringer x gn!reader

synopsis: You and Scott decide to escape New Horizons, a camp for at risk teens.

wc: 1.3k

tw: none

comment: there is a lack of Scott content on tumblr so I decided I wanted to write something. Also I fell in love with higher ground, i didn't think it was going to be that good, but i binged it in under a week.

You kick at the ground with your beat-up old sneakers, watching as moisture falls from the blades of grass. Grumbling could be heard from in front of you as the ground of teens treked behind their leader. Ever since you had arrived at New Horizons, it was basically walk after walker. You swear once you are out of this place you would never hike again. But alas you had now been here for almost 2 months, and Peter sure wasn't letting you out anytime soon. 

Picking up your feet, you begin to follow your group as they walk uphill through the forest that surrounds the school. You make up the back of the pack, mostly just because you prefer to walk at a more leisurely pace. 

“Hey” you glance to your side to be met with blue eyes. Scott. He had been here for around the same time you had meaning that you were both ‘fresh meat’. If you could even call yourself that anymore. You reply back with a “hi” focusing on not tripping on any tree roots. Scott was at New Horizons for a drug related problem, something a lot of the students had issues with. He was normally standoffish and refused to participate but you two got along just fine. Which led to the little problem of your not so little crush on the tall boy.

“I hate walking” he states plainly and you agree, nodding your head. “I mean, how is this supposed to help, walking up hills isn't going to fix a bunch of messed up kids” Scott continues. “It sucks, I just want to get out of here” you reply. “Hey, what if we-” Scott seems to want to say something but changes his mind, shaking his head. “Nevermind.” You glance at him confused. “C'mon, you have got to say it now” you laugh. “It was stupid anyways” he grumbles at the ground. 

“Oh boo-hoo, just tell me” you practically beg. Scott sees this and ultimately starts to speak, “we could get out of here you know? It's only the forest holding us back I mean. And we have pretty much walked all of it twice over.” You turn your head to look at him, “you mean run away?” you ask. He has caught your full attention now. “See, told you it was dumb” Scott answers. 

“Let's do it.” 

“Sorry?” He states, “you can't be serious.” He raises an eyebrow. “Oh I'm serious. I have had enough of this place. Worst case scenario we get caught, that's like a few days of confinement to the cabins.” You reply smoothly. It was definitely a horrible idea but it's not like life was too exciting for you at the moment.”I mean, I'm down if you are” Scott shrugs. You think for a moment before replying. “Okay two days from now there is the school bonfire thing. We pack bags beforehand, I'll sneak into the kitchens and get us some food and stuff, and we can meet up by the docks. They won't notice we have gone for a few hours at least.” 

Scott looks at you “a few hours head start is probably as good as we are going to get.” He makes up his mind, “okay I'm in.” 

The next two days passed rather slowly, with not much really happening apart from lectures about personal wellness. What a waste of your time. You were counting down the minutes until your and Scott's escape out of here.

The final hours of your time at New Horizons were spent packing a bag, light enough to not slow you down, but enough to keep you going until you could get more supplies. Your next job was the kitchen.

The sun had almost disappeared by the time you reached the space, quietly opening and shutting the door behind you. You grabbed two large plastic bottles of water, placing them in your bag, as well as a few cans of food and lots of snacks. This was definitely enough to last you a few days. Getting through the forest should only take a few hours, the tricky part was not being seen around town.

Zipping up your bag you sneak out of the kitchen, making your way to the docks. You could see Scott's shadow cast on the wooden planks, giving his location away. You walk almost silently up to him and he jumps a little at you appearing. “Don't sneak up on me like that” he says playfully.

You nod your head in the direction of the path leading to the forest “time to go?” The light from the bonfire flickers over the landscape, making it feel like something out of a 80’s horror film. “Yeah, let's do it”

You both make your way out of the school and into the dense forest. There is nearly no light apart from the occasional bit of moon peeking through the canopy. Scott pulls two flashlights out of his bag, passing one to you “borrowed Auggie’s, hope he doesn't mind” he shrugs and you laugh. Poor Auggie had been robbed of his only torch. 

After about an hour of walking Scott starts telling you clearly made up stories about people getting lost in the woods never to be seen again. Typical teenager boy behavior. You roll your eyes in response - not that he could see. “That's so not real” you speak, only to be met with a yelp as he trips over a tree root. You cannot contain your laughter at the action. “Not funny” he grumbles. 

The next few hours pass in a blur. The clear night makes your walk nicer than you thought it was going to be. Scott being there helped a lot. You both exchange tales of your lives before New Horizons, Scott tells you about his football games and school. Up ahead of you, you can see where the ground drops about 6 feet or so, meaning you will have to climb down. Scott goes first, passing you his bag so you can throw it down to him once he is on solid ground. Once he reaches the earth again you throw down his bag followed by yours. He catches them and puts them down on the ground. Now it's your turn to make the descent. 

You make it most of the way down without fail, but the place where you put your left foot collapses and you are forced to jump back and onto the dirt covered ground. Luckily you don’t hurt yourself but in the process you manage to basically slam into your companion. He lets out a sound at the impact, “woah there.” “Sorry Scott.”

After another hour you finally reach the edge of civilization and you exchange grins with the blonde boy. You had made it with close to little hiccups. Making it onto town, you and Scott begin to brainstorm what to do now. “We need to get further away before first light, then people might see the two of us. And when Peter comes asking they will know we were here” You think out loud. “We could hitchhike?” Scott suggests “It's risky but if we walk further out of town we have a better chance of someone who is passing through and not a local?”

You agree to the plan and after a quick break from walking you both set out again. Now that you are out of the dense forest you can see the night sky. It's clear tonight and you can see all the stars, you will miss it in a way. But you made your decision. As you walk, your hand brushes against Scott’s prompting you to snap your arm close to your side, embarrassed. You can sense his head turning to look at you briefly before he looks straight ahead again. Then, if on second thought, he grabs your hand in his, interlocking your pinkies. You look down at your and Scott's hand and smile. Maybe, just maybe it would all work out fine.

I'm not sure about the ending of this one as I kinda didn't know how to finish it but oh well. Im also finishing writing a whole heap of requests, so expect those soon!

#hayden christensen #hayden christensen imagine #hayden christensen x reader #higher ground #higherground #higher ground tv show #scott barringer #scott higher ground #scott barringer x reader #scott barringer x you #hayden christensen x you

[dutchdread]

Hi Dutch. Since you have answered many questions about Cloti, what is your thought about Zerith in Rebirth? I saw many people disappointed or having no hope for them but others said the devs are creating angst. Do you agree?

Hi, thanks for the question. Yeah, I understand being disappointed with the Zerith content in Rebirth. The developers spent a lot of time hyping up Zacks importance, not just with Remake but also with developer interviews and such. To have such a build-up and then have him relegated to just a few playable intermissions, to not get a Zack Aerith reunion, and depending on who you listen to to have him being brushed aside in favor of Cloud in regards to Aeriths affections, can understandably feel disheartening.

But really this is just a lack of understanding concerning story structure, to put it simply, Rebirth is EXTREMELY Zerith.

When reading Harry Potter I always knew that Snape was most likely going to end up a good guy, despite the seeming back and forths. And do you know which moment to me proved that he was a good guy? When he killed Dumbledore at the end of book 6. I knew then without a doubt that he was a good guy, because there was still one book to go, and it was obvious that that book would have the final ultimate reversal.

Rebirth didn't have a lot of Zerith pay-off, but if anything that's a good thing. If it did I would be worried about what would happen in part 3 to flip that pay-off on its head. Instead Zerith has gotten a lot of build-up that is now screaming to receive pay-off in part 3.

We have shots of Zack desperately trying to come back to Aerith. We have Aerith admitting she still has feelings for Zack. We have Aerith desperately trying to recreate her time with Zack. We have Tifa and Aerith talking about Zack. We have Aerith sensing Zacks touch in the cave of the GI. We have Aerith singing songs about meeting again. We have Aerith admitting to seeing Zack again in Cloud. We have Aerith instantly going to Zacks parents. We have Cloud talking about how Zack is head over heels for Aerith. We have Zack in Nibelheim talking to Cloud about their respective girlfriends

And the question you need to ask for all these things is "why?" Why would they include all these scenes if it's not getting a pay-off? Why show scenes of Aerith trying and failing to recreate her days with Zack interspersed with scenes of Zack trying to get back to her if that ultimately isn't of importance? Why show Zack positively contrasted with a negatively presented Cloud if the message you're trying to convey is that Zack has been replaced? Why show Zack to be an amazing guy if you want to end his arc with people being ok with him being rejected? Why make a themesong with the desire for meeting again at its core and have Zacks entire story in the game being about trying to reunite with Aerith if the point of that reunion is heartbreak?

The answer is that a writer wouldn't do those things, they make no sense. If you want your love story to feel positive then you need to disassemble the alternatives first. You need to show how the other pairings don't work, minimize their importance, or in some other way make it clear to the audience that the "main couple" coming together is the desirable outcome.

If you want to show that Aerith is getting over Zack you don't spend your limited screentime showing Aerith pining over Zack, you instead show how she's no longer occupying his mind as much. If you want to show Aerith getting over Zack you don't have her talking about still loving him, you instead have her talking about how she DID once, but that that was a long time ago. You don't end her arc with a date that remind the viewer of the existence of Zack, but one that is fully between Cloud and Aerith. If you want to show the compatibility of Cloud and Aerith then you don't make it so that everything goes wrong, you make it so that the dream date goes "DREAMY"!. And if you want to sell the idea that Aerith is over Zack and has come to the conclusion that she truly romantically loves Cloud then you DON'T place that confession right after said horrible date, with Zack scenes left right and center, a Cloud thats talking about you being "nakama", and Aerith dialogue that at best says she's not sure about what she feels, and at worst is a straight up friendzoning. If you want to replace a very positively portrayed romance then you will need the end all be all of chemistry and certainty in the new one, and talks about "well, I like you, but there is liking and then there's liking" is NOT a recipe for that.

In short, if you want to sell the idea that Cloud has truly replaced Zack in Aeriths heart and more importantly IN THE NARRATIVE, then you don't put emphasis on the existence of Aeriths feelings for Zack, and you don't put emphasis on Zacks feelings for Aerith. Those things all serve to maximize the connection between Aerith and Zack when what you need to do if you want to sell Clerith is minimize it. The reason being that this romance is in narrative conflict with the supposed Aerith Cloud romance, and the stronger the Aerith Zack connection is presented, the more extravagant the bond between Cloud and Aerith needs to be written for the story to make sense.

And that won't happen when you have Cloud deriding Aerith for the way she tries turning everything into a date the one moment, and then a scene showing Zack taking care of Aerith while in a coma the next. It doesn't happen when you show a scene of Cloud bonding with Tifa in one scene and almost kissing her, and then show Zack bonding with Aeriths mother in the next. It doesn't happen when you show Aerith failing to recreate her date with Zack and asking Cloud to find her in "her place", and then show Zack waiting for Aerith in "her place" the next.

All these things signal the same thing "Zack good for Aerith, Cloud bad".

You can extrapolate this idea beyond Rebirth of course. If Zack and Aerith isn't getting a pay-off what is the point of re-releasing Crisis Core before Rebirth? If the point is to show that Zack is no longer in the picture what is the point of showing off an entire game all about how important he and Aerith are to each other and about how desperate he is to get back to her? What is the point of showing that the bow Aerith is always wearing was gift from him. What is the point of her always wearing the clothes that she said she'd wear in anticipation of seeing him again. What is the point in bringing up the fact that she wrote Zack 89 letters and has been waiting for him for 5 years if Zack is replaceable in 2 weeks? What is the point of writing that Aeriths one wish is to spend more time with Zack if her literally spending time with a Zack stand-in isn't relevant? What is the point of writing it that Aerith didn't just see Zack in Cloud because they're similar...but because he's LITERALLY putting on a fake persona based on Zack, if Zacks presence in Clouds persona is irrelevant to Aeriths feelings regarding him?

If you want us to believe that Aerith likes Cloud for Cloud then these are all very questionable writing choices, especially when you also keep harping on about her wanting to get to know the real Cloud, which implies that she doesn't know him YET. It's not that you can't still have it so that Aerith does actually prefer Cloud despite all this, but if that's the case then you've failed as a writer because this would be VERY incoherent storytelling. If the writers want you to believe that Aerith has moved on from Zack, then they shouldn't and wouldn't have spend so much time showing Aerith not having moved on from Zack. Ultimately the question is one of focus, a story about Aerith falling in love with Cloud, and a story about moving on from Zack might look superficially similar, and entail the same basic events. But the difference is the focus. Is that focus on Cloud and what he means to Aerith? Or is the focus on Zack? In rebirth there is a heavy focus, not on the developing bond between Cloud and Aerith, those are limited almost exclusively to Tifa, but there is a heavy focus on Aeriths feelings in regards to Zack. There is no storytelling purpose to Aerith telling Cloud she still loves Zack 3/4ths of the way through her story if the focus of the story isn't Aeriths feelings for Zack, but her feelings for Cloud. If the writers wanted you to think Zack doesn't matter they wouldn't spend so much time hammering in the idea that Zack matters. These moments are all in service to Aerith and Zack, not Aerith and Cloud.

Even things like Zack discovering that Aerith has started developing feelings for Cloud only makes sense to include if the pay-off for that is them reuniting and him showing Aerith what love really is. So if we saw in Rebirth wasn't a "lack of Zerith", then what DID we see? Well, to reiterate what I said earlier:

If you want your love story to feel positive then you need to disassemble the alternatives first.

This is what we saw in Rebirth, Cloud and Aerith being disassembled, so that part 3 can get us to the pay-off. We see Cloud and Aerith bonding, yes, but it's ALWAYS contrasted with Tifa and Zack. If we have a scene where Aerith tries to engage Cloud in talks concerning food he will be shown to engage with the same discouraging passivity of the average woman on tinder, then that scene will invariably be followed by a similar scene with Tifa where he is enthusiastically trying to keep the conversation flowing. If we see a scene where Aerith is trying to get a certain energy from Cloud and failing, it won't be long till we see a scene of Zack having that same desired energy naturally.

In short, Rebirth was filled with scenes that "serve a purpose in the overall narrative". But the only way those scenes WOULD serve a purpose in the overall narrative, is if the overall narrative is: "Aerith is trying to get over Zack and is trying to move on through Cloud. But by doing so she discovers that it's just not the same. While Cloud helps Aerith move on and accept the past, he can never replace Zack". If the overall narrative is: "Aerith used to be pining over Zack, but now she has truly replaced Zack in her heart with Cloud and Zack is a relic of the past" then none of these scenes would make sense to include. You can also look at it like this, why didn't Rebirth have a Zerith Reunion scene? Because apparently that's too important of a scene to quickly tack on to the end of part 2. Nomura has already hinted at something very important to include in part 3 that wasn't in part 2, something that he thinks will make people very happy if done right. And I am pretty freaking confident that what he's talking about is the long-awaited Aerith - Zack reunion. And that is why this game is extremely favorable to Zerith, so be excited for part 3.

#ffvii #ffvii rebirth #cloti #ffvii remake #cloud strife #tifa lockhart #ff7 #aerith gainsborough #shipping #zack fair #zerith

[raayllum]

A few things because I realize without it, this amalgamation of screencaps may not make much sense but it's all I've been thinking about for like 3 days:

As the two mages of the younger generation, Callum and Claudia are caught in a loop of both competing with and furthering each other's progression in their magical goals. We see this manifest in two main ways:

Callum and Claudia giving each other knowledge they need, even if it's incomplete. Claudia gives Callum the first half of the fulminus spell (and Rayla the second); Callum figures out the riddle that lets Claudia know there's a map to be had. While Claudia offered to literally teach him dark magic, it happened solely accidentally, with Callum's acquired knowledge being her 'undoing' (on behalf of Rayla) in 2x07. This transfer of knowledge and goals means that even though Callum helped get the prison from the Sea of the Cast Out with the opposite goal of Claudia's, he will likely 'finish' her half of the spell, if you will, by being what results in Aaravos actually getting out (possession or otherwise). Likewise, this references back to Claudia giving Callum's Harrow letter after he similarly lost it, and it is that very letter that gives him his biggest piece of information (thus far) about Aaravos' key: "Why would I open it? It's for you" / "Perhaps it will be you, Callum, who discovers the key's secrets" / "Come on sad prince - let's go get your cube" (1x04).

They're both clever, and even when they're screwing each other over, it usually results in some kind of knowledge being transferred back to each other, willing or unwillingly.

We see this most directly in the initial primal stone theft, which is arguably what kicks off both their arcs in the series in a lot of ways. Callum steals and ultimately destroys/smashes Claudia's primal stone in order to free Zym (and subsequently Rayla). He repeats this pattern of (thematic? literal?) theft a few more times: he steals/uses her dark magic book in order to free the dragon in 2x07 (and subsequently Rayla); he steals and empties out her potion in 5x09, knowing that she relies on it for her magic; and as mentioned, him and the rest of the dragang successfully steal the prison from her grasp, too.

The similarity of the prison to the primal stone has likewise been reinforced. The Dragang get the prison from Claudia after Rayla has already allied with Ezran, just like in 1x03, leaving Callum to be the one to actually disempower Claudia by removing her object of power (potion, primal stone). 6x01 ties the prison to the primal stone by giving Callum a similarly staged nightmare about smashing it, which echoes his old 2x08 dreams that do have a premonition slant surrounding them. The fact that Aaravos speaks of a great shattering (Patience) and Callum compares the whole world to a primal stone only makes this potential thread of symbolism more foreboding, whether it speaks to Aaravos' desire for getting out of his prison or for taking revenge on the Startouch elves in some manner.

Last but not least, we have the basis of for why Callum smashes Claudia's stolen primal stone (future prison?) in the first place: he had a good reason. While it's clear this sentiment is important for Claudia (and Terry) as she uses it as justification for her own actions - "Everything I'm doing is for my family. It's to save my dad" - and as the basis for why she's not evil, we see in a few instances that it's important to Callum too. He is relieved when Claudia can tell he had a good reason, specifically criticizes Rayla for not having one upon her return (as she didn't even get closure about Viren in her time away), and asserts that "if she didn't tell me, she had a good reason" when he sets her free in 5x01. And Callum asserts his own justification for both doing dark magic in the past and presumably in the present: "I had to, to save [Rayla]" and Finnegrin affirms this: "Oh, how noble."

When Claudia says "I need to tell you about some things back at home, you know, good things, bad things," Callum tells her about another good and bad thing in destroying the primal stone. It hatched Zym and took off Rayla's binding, but it also left him magic-less (and in the future, vulnerable to dark magic use). Which, ironically, is also true of Rayla's return both being "kind of good, and kind of bad" in helping Callum unlock another arcanum ("To love is simply to know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep") and simultaneously making him more vulnerable to dark magic use (the snake chains in 5x08).

All of this being a long winded way of saying I am intrigued by how Callum and Claudia may continue to circle and 'take' things from one another - Callum leaving a deceptive pearl in the castle that Claudia may mistake for the real one / Callum being responsible for achieving Claudia's goal of freeing Aaravos - in season six, because they really have one of the most interesting and thematic foil relationships in the whole series.

#callum x claudia #my rotisserie chicken #tdp #the dragon prince #pawns #multi #parallels #analysis series #analysis #mini meta #rotating them so carefully in my mind like rotisserie chicken rn #tdp meta #tdp callum #tdp claudia

[possamble]

What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

#asks #she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too #with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect #and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive #but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards #I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi #you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent #and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too #not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat #but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment #and regrets it deeply #and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear #and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed #I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just #immediately arrives in Melini #and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out #and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille #on account of the crimes and all #marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down #'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you' #'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way' #'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.' #and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood #but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear #and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately #it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking #and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance #marcilleposting #marcille donato

[kissimirrit]

sometimes i think about how there's a route in shadow's game called "the miracle of love", where you do the dark missions up until meeting amy, then take the good route for the rest of the game—and i just really feel things for shadow. and in the ending when he goes over everything he did, he mentions how he had no reason to help amy, but did anyway, wording it in a way that implies he just wanted to. it's fucking called the miracle of love.

also there's a voiceline in team sonic racing where he says "you did okay, amy" in the gentlest fucking tone i have ever heard my god. and it's like the nicest thing he said to *any* of the characters in that game.

it's such a soft part of his characterization that kinda drives me nuts to think about sometimes.

#sorry for liking shadamy. it WILL happen again. #i know mosth is ''dubiously canon'' but i also think about how much he knows about the things she likes #or that he just doesn't really fight back when amy insists on bringing him along to a concert. or doesn't yell back at her while she is. #i just like to think that amy is ''shadow's heart'' in a way‚ that she reminds him that humanity is worth protecting. #and that he tacks amy on to his promise to maria in sa2. ''i have to keep my promise to maria... and you.'' #and of course that can be platonic‚ her being shadow's heart in that she just inspires him to *keep* that promise and keep going. #even if he... doesn't necessarily always go about it in the right way. but his intentions are usually good. #he's not a villain‚ just an antagonist. #anyway i could go on all day about how much i enjoy the idea of him quietly pining but ultimately doing nothing about it #because it's a lost cause. silently loving someone who loves another loudly. #it adds a lot of depth to his character for me—and i just think it's cute. i like it as a personal headcanon. #BUT WHY DID THEY FUCKING NAME THAT ROUTE ''MIRACLE OF LOVE'' IT MAKES ME GO FUCKING KOOKIE!!!!

[muninnhuginn]

In terms of Yor and how she approaches the idea of “normal” I do very much see it as her wanting to be “normal” first and foremost and then her trying to fit the role of wife and mother is a manifestation of that. As in, rather than her conflict being primarily to fit those roles because she’s always had some deep yearning to have a family or anything.

I read it as her wanting to be “normal” because she feels like it’s something she missed out on being and that it’s something she’s failing at being (and her wondering if parents would have “taught her to be normal” just adds to that) and that whilst there’s obviously a security element there of not wanting to be targeted by the SSS it does come off as something she wants regardless.

Hopefully though, the direction it’s going with her arc, she’ll get to meet people who let her realise that it’s okay for her to not have to fit the mold. Sure, the SSS won’t be vanishing anytime soon, but for her to at least realise for herself that she isn’t lacking for not being completely normal (and that to some extent, everyone deviates from the norm in some way or another) would be a big step for her.

#spy x family #spy x family manga spoilers #legit keep going back and forth on whether yor is intentionally written as autistic or if it's just a coincidence #but I keep seeing people talk of her motivation to be a good mother/wife as though it's her main thing #and yes it is a big part of her motivation but a lot of it is ultimately rooted in her desire to be 'normal' #and once she gets past that idea she'll be able to confront more why she actually wants this family for themselves #tbh she's way ahead of twilight on self reflection so I can see her actually accepting she wants them but I do think she's tied down still #by the idea that she must be normal and the idea that as a stepmum she cannot 'intrude' on anya and just #roles in society she feels she must fulfill which influence all her interactions and which are then further enforced by the sss situation #(also. yor has very much been mocked/bullied by her co-workers for not being 'normal' enough #so it makes sense from that perspective as well that she thinks it'll stop if she fits this or that criteria #but for her coworkers it's not about one aspect or another. they don't like her because she's different #and that's why hopefully meeting more people who do accept her will help her massively)

[batking-lich]

"i'm not like those Other People, i only consume Unproblematic Media™ with Good Representation™ and i don't like Irredeemable Media™"

"i'm not like those Other People, i don't like this Sanitized Media™, i only like Real Art™ with Bad Messy Representation™"

you are literally the same people wearing different hats the only things you disagree about are what counts as bad media and what counts as good representation

#bats makes a post #oh this ''bad'' representation you love was made by an actual queer person? depicting their lived experiences? #and/or you like it because it in some way reflects your own actual lived experience? so you think it's good rep then. #and this other queer media doesn't reflect your lived experiences at all? #and it feels too clean like it was made for straight people and not actual queer people? you might even go as far as to say it's... bad rep #''i don't like Show A because there's not enough good rep'' ''i don't like Show B because there's too much good rep'' #You Are Both Grown Adults Arguing About Shows For Children. You Are The Thing You Claim To Hate. #everyone needs to chill the fuck out and get some nuance and recognize this a giant community where everyone has different needs #and that we all have better shit to do than argue over ultimately nothing #and to be clear i'm not different from any of these people either! none of us are! we all like it when things are good #and don't like it when things are bad #and it's completely within human nature to argue over pointless shit so i don't necessarily blame anyone #back in the day you had to get books published and shit to be a philosopher #but now anyone can be a philosopher for free and share their ideas with the world #and that's wonderful! but god is annoying to read sometimes #(and to be absolutely clear i'm not coming specifically for people who love ''bad'' rep #those are just the takes i see more often due to content curation #and therefore the side of the debate that annoys me more because i actually see it regularly #and generally is the side i agree with more often in the broad strokes which Makes It Worse when they're annoying about it)

[crow-in-springtime]

You ever think the reason Horatio was so loyal to Hamlet was because he felt like he was responsible since he showed him the ghost in the first place?

#like Horatio showed him the ghost and then the next day (or at least soon after) Hamlet starts acting insane and scaring the entire court #and Horatio is the only person who really knows why at first. like I am sure that Horatio knew that he was the only person Hamlet could #trust. And the lack of trust is really the thing that pushes Hamlet further towards actual insanity. The thing is Hamlet is right to #distrust everyone except Horatio because ultimately they all report to his uncle the king who he’s trying to kill (some more directly #than others.) But if everyone thinks he’s insane well then why would they listen to a word he has to say? #It’s interesting though because both Hamlet and Ophelia act/go insane but their words and actions are not without meaning #especially Ophelia. Even during her mad scene she makes sense in an albeit strange way #But sadly this post is not about my favorite girl Ophelia it is about my favorite girl Horatio. So back to the point. #Wait actually we can bring fav girl Ophelia into this! #So when Ophelia does actually go insane Horatio is kinda made to be responsible for her. Go find her/follow her/look for her. And he does. #But then what happens to Ophelia regardless? She drowns perhaps on accident perhaps on purpose #It is after that that Hamlet returns. He’s had Rosencrantz and Guildenstern killed he’s killed Polonius and he still needs to kill Claudius #and yet Horatio is still there. And by this point citing the promise he made to Hamlet at the beginning of the play makes little sense #also because he simply promised to not tell anyone about the ghost. Like you don’t see Marcellus hanging around do you? #And obviously Horatio and Marcellus have very different relationships to Hamlet so I realize that last part is a flimsy argument. #But to wrap this up: seeing the ghost was the catalyst for Hamlet’s rapid decent into what I believe to be actual madness. Or at least #depression and suicidal ideation as seen in his famous soliloquy. It lead to the death of literally everyone except Horatio. I think it’s #likely for Horatio to have survivors guilt but I also think he knew how badly everything was going during the play. #and I think it makes sense that he would feel responsible in addition to just being a good friend to Hamlet. #Anyways I’m not a scholar I am not a student of Shakespeare I am not qualified to speak on anything related to this play. #hamlet #horatio #ky’s gallery

[bones-n-bookles]

It's a weird feeling, recognizing myself going from sharp grief to a duller longing. A more vague missing. The details are blurring and the intensity is fading but the feeling persists. Like strands of yarn felting themselves into a muddled rainbow of an emotional ball.

#someday i want to draw the felted emotional ball of yarn strands and scraps #there are good feelings in it too #but its the painful ones that im most familiar with #im doing much better in general lately but #i am still filled with grief and longing and loneliness and pain #i am both. so ready for this pain to dull and be less agonizing so that i can go back to my normal emotional state #and so terrified to forget these memories in the crispness that is already fading #i dont want to let go but i dont want to hurt so much #this is about like. multiple things lol and they all hurt differently #its fun #im so very glad to have my boy to get me through it and provide the happy yarn strands and make me get outside and do things #ill ultimately be fine its just a lot of feelings #and i drank some sake because i wanted the can and didnt wanna waste the contents LMAO

[bumblingbabooshka]

Was trying to design a telepathic alien child that is the embodiment of ‘kills you with my mind’ - and I succeeded! So here’s my daughter, Jeepers!

Alt Color(?)

#My main design influences were 50's sewing guides on pinterest - Jake Sisko - and The Jetsons #This alien telepath child with the urge to hurt others is me fulfilling a promise (by which I mean random post) I made a while ago #saying I wanted to give Tuvok and Lon Suder a violent girl ward - so here she is v_v #her race does not have arms! Nothing bad happened to her arms - she was just born like that as are all her people #My thought is that Jeepers was abandoned on a planet by her people and the shock/trauma of that abandonment + having no one to guide her #led to her basically taking over that planet and banning all adults from it as she views adults as untrustworthy and terrible! #When any ships with children aboard enter into the planet's air space she uses her powers to disorient/distract the adults and sends #her little army of children aboard the ship to cause havoc and bring whatever children were on it back down to the planet #the planet is full of crashed ships because if anyone tries to go down to get the children back she disorients them enough to crash the ship #I have an entire episode idea but long story short is that Tuvok - the ultimate dad - fights through all attempts to scare him away in order #to rescue the children - and when he sees that their attacker actually IS a child herself he wants to help her as well #and she desperately probes his mind for the hatred/anger/fear she's felt from all the other adults but finds none #and then she cries and he picks her up and soothes her like any good parent would v_v #I think they eventually return her to her people! Tuvok and his telepath daughters whom he has to say goodbye to v_v #Jeepers cannot actually telepathically influence people to do things - she can only make them hallucinate but she's VERY good at doing it #however as a child she often has trouble keeping the hallucinations realistic or logical #which works for fear but not so much for trickery #also she'll bite you! So watch out for that #bea art tag #star trek oc #Jeepers #Her eyes go spiral-y when using her telepathic abilities #her people also age very slowly so she's probably pretty old in human years but she's still a child if that makes sense #like - say her species lives to be a thousand years old. 200 years old would still be a small child. #she remembers her parents being 'really tall' and when you ask her how tall she says 'outer-space big' #her name is from Jeepers Creepers by the hi-los: #jeepers creepers where did you get those peepers? Jeepers creepers - where'd you get those eyes?? #How did they get so lit up?? How'd they get that size???? <- it's a pretty disconcerting song

[goldkirk]

I have not volunteered a single fact about my past and my new therapist has not asked a single thing about my past and it’s weird but I’m interested to see if trying therapy THIS way helps.

We talk about my symptoms, we talk about my perspective and thoughts about symptoms and events, and that’s IT. I keep waiting for her to ask about something or ask why I think xyz way or whatever and she doesn’t, and I thought it’d be best to start therapy by giving the best summary I could to therapists but I keep running away from them eventually and so this time I was like “what if I just don’t” and we’re three sessions in and she just asks lots and lots of questions. Like, questions I can ANSWER, about daily life stuff or what I think about xyz. I knew you could do it like this, just going in to get help with symptoms and not actually talking about anything, but I didn’t think that meant ME

#what do you MEAN I can say the most objectively wrong perspective on something from Trauma Brain Learning and she just rolls with it?? #what do you MEAN I can just say 'literally every person is dangerous and could flip at any given time' and then not have to explain that #what do you mean I can just talk about being numb and not have to connect it to past things #so weird. good weird #i hate doing this because i feel like the longer i don't give her background #the more i might be phrasing my responses for Implications and leading her to think like #way worse things happened to me than did #or I had a totally different kind of situation #that was nothing like the very good life I've had #but I ALSO know that traumatized people never think they had it bad enough #but I'm also just speaking Loaded Implications #and some things WERE worse than I thought but most things were NOT as bad as sometimes saying them without context makes them seem #so anyway it's just wild #we're out here riding the wild west train to therapyville and it'll be fun to look at these posts two years from now #if i'm still alive #PLEASE don't scold me for saying that it's just v much the headspace i'm in so far in 2022 i am not suicidal i just have a lot of old brain #pathways active and a lot of them tie back to 'ultimately if x happens again you can just die instead of going back to that' or 'i mean it's #best if you get to a great point in life but like things can happen and you MIGHT die idk. you weren't even supposed to make it this long' #which is a WHOLE nother kettle of fish I KNOW #but like fr fr I was definitely supposed to die before mid high school and i don't like that so much has happened since then #i didn't PLAN for any of this I didn't plan for COLLEGE #i didn't know wtf to do for college bc I didn't PLAN because I KNEW I WOULDN'T LIVE THAT LONG CLEARLY #and then I DID #that sucks. i mean i'm not saying it sucks that i'm still alive #i'm saying it really really really fucking sucks that i din't think to mention to a SINGLE adult in any area of life #that I was gonna die before being an adult #bc ANYONE would've been like 'wtf actually katie. wtf' #but nooooooo i just didn't mention it and thought it was TRUE and not just a stupid dumb personal feeling #i was like 100% sure I was gonna get cancer or something similar before junior year of high school #I AM OUT OF COLLEGE AND I HAVE AN ENTIRE DOG. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU DO TO BE A PERSON

[liquid-geodes]

I bet minecraft is real fun when you have friends to play it with

#playing alone i kinda just- #i stay in the spawn area and take up as little space as possible #i never go out and explosre because im afraid i cant find my way back #and there's only so much i can do in creative mode before i get bored #i think Minecraft is the only game id consider playing with another person tbh #besides mariokart i guess #i cant play the games i like with other people because they do it Wrong #even if it was ultimately a good thing in the end it was Wrong #so i dont do it #but minecraft would be Different i feel like

[maikaartwork]

Artists, let’s talk about Instagram commission scammers

There’s been a huge rise in commission scammers recently, mostly on Instagram. A lot of new artists don’t know what to look out for, so I figured this might help people.

How they begin

Usually the scammer will write to you asking about a commission. Something deceptively cute - mostly I encounter asks about pet portraits, with one or two photos sent. They’ll probably try to sell you a sweet little story, like “It’s for my son’s birthday”. They will insist that they love your artwork and style, even though they don’t follow you or never liked a single piece of your art.

What to look out for:

Their profiles will either be private, empty, or filled with very generic stuff, dating at most a few years back.

Their language will be very simple, rushed or downright bad. They might use weird emojis that nobody ever uses. They will probably send impatient “??” when you don’t answer immediately. They’re in a crunch - lots of people to scam, you know. 

They’ll give you absolutely no guidelines. No hints on style, contents aside from (usually) the pet and often a name written on the artwork, no theme. Anything you draw will be perfect. Full artistic freedom. In reality they don’t really care for this part.

They’ll offer you a ridiculous amount of money. Usually 100 or 300 USD (EDIT: I know it might not be a lot for some work. What I mean here - way higher than your asking price, 100 and 300 are standard rates they give). They’ll often put in a phrase like “I am willing to compensate you financially” and “I want the best you can draw”, peppered with vague praise. It will most likely sound way too good to be true. That’s because it is.

Where the scam actually happens

If you agree, they will ask you for a payment method. They’ll try to get to this part as soon as possible. 

Usually, they’ll insist on PayPal. And not just any PayPal. They’ll always insist on sending you a transfer immediately. None of that PayPal Invoice stuff (although some do have methods for that, too). They’ll really, REALLY want to get your PayPal email address and name for the transfer - that’s what they’re after. If you insist on any other method, they’ll just circle back to the transfer “for easiest method”. If you do provide them with the info, most likely you’ll soon get a scam email. It most likely be a message with a link that will ultimately lead to bleeding you dry. Never, and I mean NEVER click on any emails or links you get from them. It’s like with any other scam emails you can ever get.

A few things can happen here:

They overpay you and ask for the difference to be wired back. Usually it will go to a different account and you’ll never see that money again. 

They’ll overpay you “for shipping costs” and ask you to forward the difference to their shipping company. Just like before, you’ll never see that money again.

The actual owner of the account (yes, they most likely use stolen accounts to wire from) will realize there’s been something sketchy going on and request a refund via official channels. Your account will be charged with fees and/or you get in trouble for fraudulent transactions. 

You will transfer the money from your PayPal credit to your bank account and they will make a shitstorm when they want their money back, making your life a living hell. They will call you a scammer, a thief, make wild claims, wearing you down and forcing you into wiring money “back” - aka to their final destination account. 

Never, EVER wire money to anyone. This is not how it’s supposed to go. Use PayPal Invoice for secure exchanges where the client needs to provide you with their email, not the other way around.

You can find more info on that method HERE.

What to do when you encounter a scammer:

Ask the right questions: inquire about the style, which artwork of yours they like, as much details as you can. They won’t supply you with any good answers.

Don’t let the rush of the exchange, their praise and the promise of insanely good money to get to you. That’s how they operate, that’s how they make you lose vigilance. 

Don’t engage them. As soon as you realize it might be a scam, block them. The sense of urgency they create with their rushed exchange, and pressure they put on you will sooner or later get to you and you might do something that you’ll regret later.

Never wire money to anyone. Never give out your personal data. Never provide your email, name, address or credit card info. 

Don’t be deceived by receiving a payment, if you somehow agree to go along with it. Just because it’s there now doesn’t mean it can’t be withdrawn. 

Here is a very standard example of such an exchange. I realized it’s a scam pretty fast and went along with it, because I wanted good screenshots for you guys, so I tried going very “by the book” with it. 

Please share this post, make it reach as many artists as possible. Let young or inexperienced artists know that this is going on. So many people have no idea that this is a thing. Let’s help each other out. If you think I missed any relevant info, do add it as an rb!

Also, if you know other scam methods that you think should be shared, consider rb-ing this post with them below. Having a master post of scam protection would AWESOME to have in the art community.

#art resources #artist help #artist advice #commission advice #scammers #instagram scam #please share with your fellow artists