#it's subtle but there IS a distinction so just LET ME HAVE THIS OK

[hourglassfish]

On Season 1, Episode 7 Part Three : Risottogate

OK look,

Go and get yourself an ecto cooler or something, cus this is long, OK? This is long.

You comfortable?

Alright, let’s go.

don't forget the Xanax!

Elevated Beef (stock)

There’s a connection drawn between Sydney and veal stock in the Bear. She spills it all over herself during Brigade. Claire interrupts Carmy purchasing veal stock for menu testing her bone broth idea at the end of 2:2.  It’s an interesting ingredient to align her with: a staple of French cuisine, something you’ll find in a professional high end kitchen but not necessarily at home, a distinctive, practical component which provides a subtle, solid umami base for a range of dishes.

The first time this connection is drawn is during one of my favourite interactions: the ‘plum haribo’ story in Brigade. Marcus has decorated his work station (I love him), and despite the fact that Carmy says he’s having flashbacks (eeeeeeek), I think he is happy to see this coming together of his two worlds.

They start talking about this fancy plum dish, and a gelee component (which will reappear in Honeydew!) that had to have a very specific texture. Carmy has been talking about the dedication needed to make this dish work with pride, presenting the texture of the gelee as a huge challenge, something it took someone a year to figure out. Sydney cracks it in less than a minute. Veal fat. She knows what’s needed, and she knows why: it congeals when it’s cold. Boom!

Carmy’s response to this always amuses me. He is not…dismayed exactly. Not quite. After all, it’s a reminder of her brilliance, and also that that world is not so far away.  That being said, she cuts across a punchline here; and what was a mystery to the best chefs in the world for a year is immediately obvious to her, to the extent that it’s not even really a flex on her part: she states it quite diffidently. Marcus’s gleeful ‘Mission Accomplished’ is very different from Carmy’s, which is a bit more ‘…oh.’.

On rewatches where I feel charitable, Carmy then implements the brigade cus he's been reminded that he has someone close by from that world, he has an ally that speaks his language, who is talented. On days when I feel less charitable, I combine this with him later talking her through the differences between stock/jus/demi-glace in front of Tina  like an asshole, and see him handing the brigade over at that specific moment, in the specific way that he does as passive aggressive. Most days I’m with the former! Still…we’re back in the grey areas of Syd and Carmy’s  dynamic. Where all the good shit is!

He's so glad she figured that out so quickly, absolutely not feeling a type of way about it, nope, not at all

I wanted to start with this story cus it opens up three things for me:

a) just a frisson, a hint, a delicious drop (!) of competition between Syd and Carmy 

b) the question, beloved by fanfic writers everywhere, of what the dynamic between these two might have been if they had met in a different context.

c) a third, messier thing, about Carmy going away, tooling up, coming back and it needing to be worth something, that going way. As far as he knows at this point, It didn’t achieve what it was meant to achieve, it didn’t get Mikey’s attention. Maybe he didn’t need to leave Chicago to do it. Sydney's talent tickles that tension, as does Marcus's (trios, trios!). So what was it for? What were the past few years of his life for, if a bunch of this stuff was in Chicago all along?

Who was Carmy away from Chicago? Who is he without his family? We’ve only seen one flashback so far, very much from inside Carmy’s head. The way he tells it is very different from what we see. At Al Anon, he describes himself like this:

‘when somebody new came into the restaurant to stage, I’d look at them like they were competition, like I’m gonna smoke this motherfucker’.

But you're tall and sexy, so don't worry about it babes

Gosh. Yes Chef!

I don’t think Carmy holds anything like this level of aggression towards any of the original staff of the Beef: it would be absurd: they don’t have his training or experience. For the most part we see doing the work of pulling a team together, which explicitly involves putting that kind of competitiveness to the side.

I don’t think he has this energy for Sydney.

Not quite.

I do think it’s an important thing for us to learn about his character. I do think that we are told it at the beginning of Episode 8, after Sydney has quit, because there are ugly feelings around the risotto dish. I do think that those feelings drive a lot of how Review goes down, and that Carmy knows this.  

This ferocious comparison and competition, used as a driving force, is a part of who Carmy is, and a part of the kitchens that he has come from. In another context, Sydney would have just been competition. And he’d have been trying to smoke her.

Let’s follow a humble bowl of risotto through THREE EPISODES, and about 5000 words, good GOD.

Tracing the Journey of the Risotto: Unanticipated

I tried to find appetising pics of her cooking the risotto but mostly it doesn't look very aesthetic, so here is Syd in my fave of her scarves.

A Risotto, playing on ‘tongue in cheek’ is first tentatively pitched in Sheridan, as an idea for a new menu that they have ‘spoken about’. Carmy is… noncommittal. He’s not into it, but he doesn’t say that, he just doesn’t really engage. I think there are a bunch of valid reasons to not be into it, tbh. I’ve ordered risotto to go. It’s always kind of gluey and disappointing. Sydney isn’t given a clear no, so she decides to cook it: it becomes something she has to convince him on.

He doesn’t get to try it in this episode as there are drugs to sell and about a million different fires to fight. We know that she dreams about this dish though. In this episode she talks about how thinking about her mistakes with Sheridan Road keep her up at night,  but the last images of the episode are of her dreaming: beef… raspberries… cola… fire: there it is. Cola braised short rib. We’re back in the realm of deeply personal creative expression that I spoke about in part two. That anxious energy around failing with Sheridan Road? Is going somewhere else, is being transformed. This is important, and has the potential to be profoundly healing. This dish has meaning for her.

The dish returns in Ceres. Syd is an unstoppable force with the dish, and having said she wants to be listened to, is not listening to several requests from Carmy for more time. Stressful! He deals with it well, at first. He is calm, and polite and asks her to hold on. Which is not a no. But then -

 ‘I know everybody you used to work for, I called them before hiring you’

oooooh weeee.

There is nothing wrong with him seeking out references. His reasons are logical, and he’s transparent about them. Personally? I think it’s sensible to let employees know you’re seeking out references to avoid paranoia, but it’s not a legal requirement. People do it informally via whisper networks all the time, both purposefully and by accident. Gotta say though, the phrasing and the timing of this ‘reveal’ made me wince.

There are a million different theories of feedback, of how to give and receive it well. One argues that feedback must be asked for, accurate and measurable. If it’s not measurable, then you are nitpicking. If it’s not accurate, you’re hating. If it’s not asked for, or at least delivered in an environment where it’s anticipated, it is unlikely to be received well. Carmy, unfortunately, delivers a whopper of unanticipated feedback here: ‘me and all your old bosses (I know EVERYONE YOU USED TO WORK WITH)have been talking about you and they all agree on this flaw’.

YIKES

Would I let Syd stab me for a bowl of this? Maaaaybe. Maybe.

My reading is that he wanted to ask for her patience, and to say that his decision to pace out the changes is coming from experience, but he’s being backed into a corner, so he summons up the spectre of her old bosses for back up. Syd had opened up last episode, and is still very vulnerable about Sheridan, so he unintentionally wounds her here. We can read this in her response. He says her employers said she was smart, talented,  green and impatient, she hears ‘me and everyone you’ve worked for think your business failed because you were green and impatient, that’s why you’re here, and why this dish can’t go on the menu’. This dish is getting entangled in so many other things about where they’ve come from.

He does take the time to reframe it: outlines his practical concerns, and starts to articulate that he wants to maintain calm before they make more changes - 

And then Sugar is banging on the door, demonstrating his point.

At this point, Carmy is trying to build a parachute. They don’t have one when Jimmy comes to visit in Hands, but they do have one that becomes Richie’s bail by Braciole. Reserve building takes steady, dull consistency, but this isn’t communicated, and they don’t agree on a timeframe for the menu development, or even to come back to this conversation. This is small stuff, I know I sound nitpicky! But in my experience managing people, tension builds in the unknowns, in the places where there aren’t specifics, especially when you have a team member like Sydney who is ambitious and dynamic.

Sydney is firmly in the realm of the job that Carmy specified here. He is dialling business, she is doing everything else. If you’re a nerd and you zoom in on her CV, she has done menu development before. She is green, but not that green. She is impatient, but she also doesn’t have the same complicated relationship with change at the Beef that pretty much everyone else but Marcus does. The risotto is the first unofficial test of the impact of strain on their (messy ass) working dynamic, to Review’s much more official gauntlet.

Why would they write a proper CV and film it if they didn't want me to spend 5 minutes hitting pause repeatedly until I'd read it?

*squints* designed daily specials with complete creative control! At Alinea! A THREE STAR MICHELIN RESTAURANT! At the time they wrote this, it had held and retained those stars for twelve years! She is not new to this!

Tracing the Journey of the Risotto Two: Unmeasurable

They try again with the risotto later. She is a little more patient, initially. She makes the effort and he thanks her for it. He tries it, which she really wanted (surely that will convince him!), and she has modified her request, from to-gos, to trying it as a special. Her equivalent of baby steps. She listened. She’s trying. Lovely Angel and my main man Ebra come by, taste and support Carmy’s ‘tremendous’.

But here Carmy gives feedback that isn’t measurable. It’s not perfect, but he doesn’t say why, even though he knows, and it’s an easy fix! He’s nitpicking, because he doesn’t, for a bunch of practical reasons, want to put risotto on the menu, but doesn’t want to shoot her down. He asks her if she understands after she has explicitly said that she doesn’t (cus he’s not being up front), and then doesn‘t explain himself. He’s not really asking if she understands, he’s telling her to stop. It’s not really the dish that’s not ready, not really, it’s him, he’s not ready to make a new raft of changes, to think through the gap between the Michelin star excellence he has come from, and the budgetary, practical restrains of where he’s at.

I think this is really fair. Or at least understandable. Carmy just wants to catch a breath, and he has to have oversight on so many different things at once, adding something else to that must feel terrifying. But the way he communicates this shuts down and restricts: he switches the dynamic from one where they listen to each other (which requires that they both explain themselves) to one where he tells and she does. It doesn’t really give her anywhere to go, so her frustration is inevitable and also understandable. Measurable feedback! Clarity. If you don’t want risotto on the menu Carmy, rip the band-aid, and say it, and say why. Get her to work on something that is going to fit with the menu in a different way, in the way that you want, and be clear about the way in which you want to shape it!

He knows he’s not been great here. Carmy apologises for ‘being shitty’ later in the episode (as others have noted, it’s a shit apology) and he also starts his apology with ‘needs acid’ in 1:8. He knows that a lot of Review is to do with this dish.

When Carmy apologises about being shitty later in Ceres, she doesn’t mention that she put the dish out earlier. It’s framed as a little moment of.. if not revenge, then a little something for herself. I think she knows it’s not OK, not really, or she’d have mentioned it, and her face says a lot when she says it’s cool.  I’m not a chef, I only ever worked FOH, but my instinct is that its dodgy and it fills me with unease. A grey area. A pop of tension.

Tracing the Journey of the Risotto Three: Hating

Whenever I think about the strikes, I think about the broader ensemble in this show.

The next time the risotto turns up, it’s being mentioned in a review. A lot happens here, so I’m gonna bullet point out all the references, then analyse some of them afterwards. I’m also gonna jump a whole bunch, cus I want to stay tightly focused on the risotto itself, and the dynamic between Syd and Carmy as relates to it:

Ebra reads the review out!

Syd has a lovely, gentle smile for Ebra as he reads it, her whole body relaxes as she taps at the tablet. This validation clearly means a lot to her. Ebra’s dynamic with both Sydney and Marcus is consistently a joy to behold. When he tells her in Dogs that she’s given Marcus a lot of confidence, she glows, and I think it’s something she really needed to hear. He’s subtle about it, but he never makes her life difficult when she implements the brigade. There’s something about the oldest member of the team, reading the review out, a little haltingly cus English isn’t his first language, that doubles down on the love that can be present in the Beef, making it all the more jarring when –

Carmy cuts across this and starts talking about the day’s opening with a ‘stop reading that shit’

Fam ‘that shit’ just described your food as elevated and elegant! In the foodie heaven that is Chicago! In your restaurant which is kind of failing! It’s your team’s first review since you’ve been there! So straight away you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, because what has got his knickers in a twist?

Carmy is justified in being pissed off about Syd’s actions here. What he is not justified in, is not finding a way to celebrate the review itself with his team, who deserve to have this moment. It’s a milestone for them to get some external validation, and the restaurant, quite frankly, needs it. A five star review! Tina squeals with delight when she hears it. Before a new program and a busy shift is the perfect moment to read this out, and go into the work feeling good. A united, gassed up team? Would have killed those to gos.

Sydney is also responsible for this messiness though. In going rogue the episode before, something which could have been about the team becomes about her in a way that is sticky, and it becomes harder to celebrate. It was not her intention, but this is the outcome.

Ebra ignores Carmy

(cus he’s redundant and white JK JK don’t cancel me)

There is a double edged shout out to the team

‘the staff moves are next level’: this is such brilliant, important feedback from a team that has had to weather so much change! Also calls back to Richie:  ‘Uh oh, Sydney making moves!’ in the car in Hands.

‘The sandwiches are so delicious as ever, but the standout dish that... that, that encapsulates all, this was the risotto with braised beef. The rice was luscious with a surprising ribbon of brine running through the sauce. The chef obviously knew what she was doing’

THAT REVIEWER IS A SNITCH

Did Syd know that reviewer was a reviewer? I dunno man. Maybe! She’s Chicago born and bred, knows the food scene well. It’s not outside of the realm of possibility that she’d recognise him. Maybe she just wanted some good immediate feedback, while she was feeling shitty! Maybe all she wanted was him to send a message back to the kitchen that’s like tell Syd the risotto was great: the impact of his Review but on a much smaller, less disruptive scale.

I think it’s genuine coincidence, which unfortunately looks… not like that. The thing is: the reviewer being a reviewer isn’t what the issue is. The issue is giving food not signed off by her boss to a customer.  She'd have never gotten away with that at the places where she was before. Putting the dish out is going rogue, regardless of who she gives it to. It’s not a team move. If Carmy called in her old bosses for back up, she calls in his potential new customers. Eek. EEK.

Sydney desperately tries to get Ebra to shush, to no avail

(extremely funny work from Ayo, but also he’s pissed, and she either already knows it, or already antipates it – it’s hard to get a read on how long they’ve been in and when they learnt about the review)

‘river of brine, huh?’ 

Carmy, you little snark!!! This is very much his wheelhouse of expressing displeasure, he loves a little jab to the emotional solar plexus. My reading of his line is that what the reviewer tried and what Carmy tried are different, because if it had a ribbon of brine in it, I think that means that there was enough acid. Syd has two dishes, and she’s specific about Carmy trying one and not the other, so my reading here is that Carmy’s POV is not only did a dish go out of my kitchen without my sign off, but it was different from the dish I was given to try. Wince. Wince, wince, wince.

Sydney and Carmy have a fucking excruciating conversation.

Just the worst.

Carmy is not happy, but feels unable to voice this in a way that seems reasonable: he’s busy and stressed about to-gos, he hasn’t moved past the unreasonable feelings of resentment and annoyance to the clarity which enables you to articulate how you feel and why, and because Syd’s gamble paid off! It’s a net positive for the restaurant so it feels counterintuitive to reprimand her, but there is a conversation they need to have. He really does not want to have this conflict, because it’s complicated, and is, like most big blow outs over something small, about so much more than a plate of risotto.  He breezes over the conversation, but you can’t start with that ribbon of brine opener and then tell me shit’s not weird.

Compare this to Brigade, when Sydney is asked what’s up, and she is brave enough and vulnerable enough to be like – here are the things that weren’t OK, here are my expectations, here are my boundaries.

On the other side of the conversation, Sydney knows that she has slipped across a slightly odd boundary, but doesn’t acknowledge this. It’s good he liked it! All’s well that ends well. Right? RIGHT? But if he hadn’t? Very different conversation. It doesn’t matter who he is! He could have been anyone - someone that left a weird Instagram comment later, or someone who didn’t finish the meal and complained. Whatever the case may be, giving it to him unofficially was not an act of partnership, or listening, even if the initial communication was shitty.

She knows she’s overstepped,  but she doesn’t apologise and doesn’t acknowledge the specifics of what she’s done wrong, because she does not want to have the conflict that could come out of this either. She seeks affirmations that they are OK rather than trying to actually find out how Carmy feels and why, because at this point she doesn’t really want to hear it. She is seeking this conversation out 20 minutes before open! It’s not the time for a thorny, complex discussion.  

Compare this to Brigade. Carmy knows Sydney is pissed, and makes the effort to speak to her, in private, armed with the peace offering of Ebra’s Suqaar. He is very careful in that conversation to ask open questions (‘what’s going on with you? Say more?’) that enable her to respond honestly. He persists despite her having her walls up around the fact that she’s pissed. Sydney does not do this. The power dynamic makes it hard, but still. If she wants the connection needed to power reconciliation, that bravery needs to be in play.

are you sure we can't just power through this with sexual tension?

Sweeps congratulates her and tells her she’ll have to tell her dad

Hope Mr Adamu got a newspaper clipping!

Carmy says the sandwiches are totally different and the reviewer is a fucking hack. Syd looks sad.

This moment is why I opened this essay talking about veal stock. We are back in a moment with a gap between what has been said, and what has been heard. The reviewer said the sandwiches were delicious as ever. That’s not a criticism at all! These are not words that justify being called a hack! Carmy is pissed because the reviewer says they are delicious and they always have been, that Carmy has not improved on the staple that was there before him.

And that shit hurts his ego!

His whole thing was going off to learn ‘how to be better than mom and dad’s piece of shit’. We know he’s changed a bunch of things about the sandwiches. In Hands,  Sydney mentions that they’ve switched to market produce, which I’m sure is not unrelated to Richie’s ‘You’ve been here for two weeks and we’ve had money problems for two weeks’ in System. In Carmy’s time there, the bread’s changed, the method for cooking the beef has changed, the way they braise onions has changed.

To that customer? Delicious as ever.It’s not a dismissal, or an insult.  It is a reminder that Carmy didn’t have to leave, and go through all he went through, that there was delicious food and skills to be learned and refined without it. We know Michael was a talented chef. Even now, with all of where he’s been, Carmy cannot surpass him or his memory.

The person that does surpass that? Is Sydney. With food his palate did not deem good enough! Sydney who has not had to leave Chicago and her family. Sydney who has found a way to be creatively free, even at The Beef, in ways that Carmy has not really been able to, because his primary concern has to be money. There is understandable resentment here. But there is competition to the way Carmy cooks, something to prove, someone to smoke. There are reasonable feelings here, but some of them are really ugly, too.

Tina describes Syd as Jeff’s friend

This is a strange little line – because we know that Tina respects Syd as a chef at this point, and she doubles down on it later when she asks Syd to teach Louis skills, like she herself has been taught. So why’s it there? My feeling is that it’s there to remind the audience of what Syd and Carmy’s relationship is usually like. I wouldn’t call it friendship, I think they operate in a weird place that defies labels, but they have this synergy which drives the business. Tina evoking that in this moment draws attention to the fact that they are not in that space right now.

He's just got a very sweet face, it's hard for me to believe he's in trouble at school

Richie has a loud, performative conversation with Carmy about many things, but for the purpose of this section, he states that they don’t do risotto, asks if they’re going to, and Carmy definitively states that ‘no, they’re not going to do that’ he also repeats Syd’s phrasing that it was ‘an accident’

She stabbed the wrong ass if you ask me!

Nah, but for real, this is nasty work. I’m gonna come back to it in the next (penultimate!) bit of writing about the Beef, the Bear, Richie & Michael, Syd & Carmy. For now, I will simply say that Carmy is doing up major pass agg here, and it’s nasty to watch. He’s really, really unhappy with her,  and he’s struggling to hold it in, so it’s coming out in unhelpful and unpleasant ways that feel like humiliations in front of the whole team, and punishment.

There are really valid reasons for Carmy to be annoyed and to not want to talk about it right now.  The problem is that If you don’t create a pressure valve you take responsibility for, you will end up a) exploding instead (lol) and/or b) releasing that frustration in unhelpful and harmful ways.

They move towards this with their ASL sorry in Season Two. But here, Carmy says and implies a bunch of things to Richie that he needed to say explicitly to Syd two episodes ago, and two minutes ago: that he has no intention of putting risotto on the menu, and that he thinks her saying it was an accident was bullshit. He wants Syd to know it’s not OK without the hard, painful work of having to engage in conflict with her. It’s shitty.

Sweet Louis asks what a ribbon of brine is

He seems like a good boy, bring him back!

A BUNCH OF STUFF THAT I WILL WRITE ABOUT NEXT TIME HAPPENS

Richie, Syd and Carmy, it’s delicious (a nightmare).

Syd attempts a second conversation with Carmy – having vented some frustration  at Richie, and seeing how her workload is piling up and becoming untenable, she is much more open here. Carmy is not.

She’s blunt – we’re not on the same page. Carmy lies and deflects – we’re good, let’s get through the shift. He has his hands on his hips, with as much of his body turned away from her as possible, during this conversation, and walks off half way through it. Even if everything had gone right, this shift would have been a nightmare for Syd.

Everything is awesome!

The penultimate mention of the risotto is here. There is very little I can say that has not been brilliantly said by eatandsleepwell here - https://www.tumblr.com/hourglassfish/726487509540962304/eatandsleepwell-melonatures-this-one-second?source=share so I’m gonna link it.

That’s the last we hear of risotto for now, other than a quick reference to Syd as an arrogant and condescending ribbon of brine from Richie later. It doesn’t turn up on the tasting menu at the Bear, where it defo feels like a riff on risotto could have replaced one of their pasta dishes. That switch from rice to pasta feels pointed.

Spaghetti

Let’s treat The Beef as a character. If Sydney’s ingredient motif is veal stock, then The Beef’s is that family spaghetti.

Cheap and simple. Fucking delicious. Makes no sense and shouldn’t work, but was somehow the best seller on the menu. Distinctively Italian. Stuffed full of drug money(!). Always, always presented at the table with love, like a gift. You can elevate it if you want, but the fact of the matter is that even at its very best, it’s only gonna hit so hard cus it reminds you of simpler times, like the ratatouille (that is not a ratatouille!) from the movie Ratatouille.

Carmy rejects that meal at the top of the series. It ‘doesn’t make sense on the menu’, so he doesn’t care that people loved it. So far, so EMP. When he starts to cook it in episode one, it feels like a relenting to Richie’s bullying, and him throwing WHAT WE NOW KNOW WAS PROBABLY A FEW THOUSAND DOLLARS in the bin at the end of the episode feels like this exhilarating rejection of mediocrity. They change the lines for System, but in the pilot, Carmy literally cannot make the spaghetti, that last lesson from Michael is a real missing puzzle piece.

In Braciole,  when he gets the recipe, he goes to cook it, for family. It’s really nice, that scene, feels comparable to Sydney making omelette. It’s quiet, and Carmy seems content, if wistful. The pork instead of beef panic of earlier is put to the side for now. The previous day, Carmy has gone to Al-Anon and confessed, unburdened himself. Then followed two quiet days and a blue hued night of atonement: he reaffirmed his commitment to Richie, paying his bail and keeping watch all night, gave Tina the night off, apologised to Marcus and acknowledged that his behaviour towards Sydney wasn’t acceptable, as well as speaking to her about her dish, like an adult. Carmy has to do all of this before he finds the money, before he gets the validation that he’s really longing for from his brother.

JAW getting his Emmy, his Golden Globe, his SAG Award, his Bafta, his future Oscar Winning role.

If The Bear at its core is about grief, and the void that Michael’s death leaves, then one of the big journeys of Season One is the subsequent death of the Beef, ready for its rebirth as The Bear in the following season. Review is the short sharp stab to the gut, of Sydney leaving, and taking any hope that it can be reformed as is, with her work. I don’t think the nature of a puncture wound, and the shortness of that episode are unrelated.

Braciole is more of a death rattle: Jimmy’s debt keeping them trapped in shitty work they don’t want to do, situations that spiral out of control and descend into violence, their parachute turned to bail money. But Michael wanted more for his brother than that, and he has left him a foundation. He does not have to burn the place down, there need not be smoke and hellfire. There’s another avenue for rebirth, one where ‘set this place on fire’ does not have to mean an insurance scam, but instead can mean an ignition of all their ambition and dreams.

To get there there has to be an ego death first, a moment of hubris that gets our protagonists fresh, and clean, so they can move to the new. Sydney sees and experiences the worst of herself (more on this in the final part!). Richie gets stabbed (more on this in the next part).

Carmy? Carmy has to encountera crisis where not only could his training not save him but many of the lessons he learnt while he was away and his reasons for going in the first place actively made the situation worse, and those that had faith in him and his preferred system turned away from him, deeply hurt. His ego gets in the way of connection, and it shatters the partnership that he needs to make it all work. He is clinging to old ways of being that has not served him, but he needs to move forward into what is new. And he does.

Well.

He tries.

SMDH

WHEW

Another long one, sorry fam. I’m almost there though. Am I sorry? No, I’m grateful if you read it, and I hope you enjoyed it.

I hope I’m pulling this together coherently, that I’m showing a sort of throughline to the way I view Episode 7. I don’t think Sydney is perfect! I do think her walking out is narratively and politically (the show wants better for the workplaces its drawn from) necessary, and I hate, hate, hate the simplification of that decision to ‘he shouted at her so she bailed’. Please, you can’t think this show is well written and think her decision is as simple as that, it doesn’t make sense. That exit is crafted so that it is inevitable, there is a movie’s worth of build up to it.

We’re looking at Richie, Syd and Carmy next time, fam. I am trying so hard to cut it down cus it’s currently sat at 15,000 words, but I’m gonna try really hard to edit down, OK? I’m gonna try really hard.

I can’t respond but I value reblogs and comments so much!

This is part of a five part series! You can find the rest here:

Expect More: Syd and Carmy's relationship,

I know you'll be listening: Marcus, McDonald's and Freedom

Risottogate

Hiring New Fucking Broads: Syd, Richie and conflict;

"That's Not You" The Moment Syd Walks Out

#the bear #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #the bear meta

[wellnoe]

what about emma dies and jean pulls emmas consciousness into her head to keep her alive (for scotts sake?) but now emma is always inside jean and theyre forced to bond until they can build her a robot body to put emma in. and then they kiss? (visavis plausible jeanemma scenarios)

oooh ok i do love a body share/incorporeal person situation.

to me the interesting part of the scenario you've laid out here is like. the jeannie condescension of it all. like i think removing scott as a motivator for saving emma, you have jean doing it bc she's a good person and an x-man and she's not going to let emma die, that's not what she's about. which is prime emma needling material imo, bc i think one of emma's big emotions about jean is that she thinks she sees through all the performance of jean as perfect person/perfect woman, in contrast to emma's own performances. like the identification is there bc they both have an audience and emma knows it and is obvious about it and jean knows it but can't be obvious about it, yk. so emma gets to point out the ways that jean doesn't actually want to save her but can't be honest about it and how she's just trying to show that she's a better person than emma when she isn't the saint she pretends to be blah blah blah. like thats prime je dynamic material to me.

ig the problem here is like. i don't think emma being in a needling position gets us close to kissing territory. emma is good at needling and being cruel and condescending and unflappable, and like. i think she very easily gets to fall back on that here w/out a super long term plot to make that harder to maintain. like we kind of want emma on the back foot here too, right.

i'm almost more interested in the idea of jean in emma's head? bc first of all, to me. jean's anger in this scenario is just funnier. like jean tends toward the explosive, and so i just think her anger w/in emma's head could lead to fun stuff for both jean and emma. i ALSO think that like. ok. so emma has lost her body due to shattering (and had to be rebuilt w jean's help) before. and also emma is like. very into the idea of using jean's image/body? she's an inhabitor and possessor in that way. also i think emma's telepathy is like. more subtle than jean's.

anyway my point is i think jean in emma's body/head is a fun reversal of a couple of plots/set-ups, which could lead to interesting dynamics. i also think that jean's tendency to explosiveness and her sledgehammer telepathy makes navigating being in someone else's head something that has a lot of plot potential? like jean is limited not by her lack of power, but by the possibility of fucking up so severely in her anger that she fundamentally fucks with the stuff keeping her and emma alive (or distinct? that could be fun)

a++++ scenario i will be thinking of it for a long time even if i still struggle w conceptualizing the stuff immediately before the kissing.

#w.ask

[drudeger]

Beyblade Burst Quadstrike Review

(spoiler warning for the entire show)

ok so let's talk quadstrike.

I think we can all acknowledge the low expectations we had for a hasbro produced season of the anime, and while the season definitely delivered on those expectations in some aspects, it also managed to surprise me with its quality in others.

Animation

let's start with the animation. the quality of the animation ranged from abysmal to passable for a large majority of the season, with the only really good animation being reused from previous seasons. that being said, in a couple of episodes, including the first and last, it was actually pretty good. overall, I'd say the quality was most comparable to that of the sixth season with only some episodes ever managing to surpass or dip below that.

Voice Acting

the voice work was great overall. the returning cast from quaddrive maintained a level of voice acting quality on par with that season, which is to say, pretty damn good and it’s a similar story for the returning cast from before quaddrive. you might expect the part of the cast returning from a 2+ year hiatus from their previous roles to need to readjust and settle back into performing their characters, but honestly most of them seemed perfectly comfortable jumping back into it with the only exceptions being xander and kit. both character voices definitely feel just slightly rusty, but considering the massive ~4 year real life time gap, you really can’t blame them and honestly they do a great job getting mostly settled back into their roles pretty quickly.

when it comes to the casting decisions made for quadstrike specifically, kieran regan was a great choice to portray a more grown-up and mature ken and he absolutely nailed the role. keru and besu’s voices were also just right, sounding like characters that are voiced by ken but are still distinct-sounding from him, and the quality of all three performances speaks to kieran’s skill.

anjali kunapaneni was practically perfect as pri, giving her a full voice that matches her character but doesn’t overdo it with shoutiness despite pri’s boisterous personality, balancing it out to accentuate the more cool outward appearance she tries to impress upon other bladers. they really bring a level of depth and nuance to their performance that gives pri a very real and unique voice and it was easily the best voice performance in the season.

darren delfin’s performance as pax is definitely a close second and his ability to portray character depth shows through a lot here with the subtle differences in tone when pax is being disingenuous (e.g. when he pretends to be happy about pri making friends) and when he genuinely wants to show appreciation and admiration (e.g. when he talks about his admiration for red eye.) honestly, I’d be lying if I said I’d caught any of this on first watch. it’s just not the sort of depth I believed I had any reason to look out for. the only reason I say it was the second best performance and not the first is because the accent feels awkward and it doesn’t sound quite right, an unfortunately important skill gap when you’re asked to voice a character with a foreign accent.

Plot

the plot itself was. ok. plot points were arranged in a sensible enough order and it almost never managed to feel too forced. except for the part where pax just calls aiga up on his phone and THAT'S how they decided to have pax challenge aiga? and absolutely nobody questions how pax got his number?? I literally laughed out loud when that happened like bro what??? 😭😭 also that one part in the finale where we get a somewhat dramatic shot with some random fucking kid and get absolutely zero explanation????? aside from these (admittedly incredibly weird) oddities, the plot was ultimately unengaging but passable. there really just isn't a lot to say about it due to its overall lack of substance.

Story

but if you asked me to describe what quadstrike is actually about — its story — I'd tell you it's a story about a bunch of kids running around with highly marketable toys. which sounds comically cynical but, despite its best efforts, quadstrike struggles to be much more than that. although that isn’t to say I wasn’t pleasantly surprised by the unexpected amount of depth in some aspects of the writing.

Themes

the season has two themes, one of which is executed decently but neither being given the time or care needed to feel nearly as impactful as they could have.

Identity

the most prominent and complete of the themes is that of identity, which is explored through the season's secondary (arguably primary) protagonist, pri forsythe/quadra. the season introduces the foundations for this theme when quadra loses to drum in the abyssal tournament after taking off her mask. pax tells pri to keep her mask on in battle because it will increase her elemental power and make her strong and pri begins questioning if he's right. it was also revealed in a flashback that pax made the mask and when pri wears it, pax says she assumes an entirely different persona and becomes quadra. this poses to pri as well as the audience three questions: does pax know what’s best and should pri therefore listen to his instructions, allowing him to control what decisions she makes? are pri and qudra the same or different? if “becoming quadra” makes her stronger, should she be ok with being her when she battles?

the first question takes a backseat for a bit while the second and third questions are explored, although we see it reiterated as pri continues to battle without the mask.

we are introduced to one position for the last two questions when, during a flashback, pax says that pri becomes a different blader entirely when she assumes the identity of quadra during battle. the other position is introduced when pri asserts that it shouldn’t matter if she doesn't wear the mask because it’s still her battling regardless. the second position is built upon when ken’s mom explains to pri that keru and besu are a part of ken’s identity and pri restates the question later that night, asking herself if she’s pri or quadra. after she loses to ken, he gives her some advice — that quadra is her too. then, after her first loss to xander where she doesn’t wear the mask, pri finds a letter to her from ken that says "it doesn’t matter if the mask makes you stronger. you’re you with or without it, it doesn’t define you,” explicitly stating the answer to both questions. with all of this in mind, pri decides she’ll wear the mask for her rematch with xander and from now on will wear it in battle at her own discretion. so at this point in the story, the last two questions have been answered.

having pri’s decision be one that retains her agency is the strongest choice they could have made, but having ken spell out the answer for her, especially not even an episode after he gives her his advice, just feels bad, and it ends up feeling unearned since she’s given such little time to actually struggle with the question and deliberate on his advice or develop as a character before coming to the conclusion she does.

(tw: this section contains discussions of emotional manipulation and generally toxic behavior from a caretaker)

but that’s only two of three questions and now that the last two questions have been answered, we finally get to see the first question being explored — does pax know what’s best and should pri therefore listen to his instructions, allowing him to control what decisions she makes? during the battle camp, we learn that pax was forced to quit blading due to an injury and it was his dream to become a legend like valt. this, combined with previously revealed information as well as pax’s constant use of phrases like “our goal” and “our dream,” makes it clear that pri partially accepts the role of quadra for pax and this sets up another part to the first question: is it really ok that pri/quadra center her identity around a dream that isn’t completely her own? while she does have her own reasoning for wanting to battle, she wants to help pax in his goal to create the ultimate elemental bey which was the entire point of him making and having her use pandora, the mask and the quadra persona in the first place. it’s a driving force behind the question, as we see pri struggling between her want to do things her way and her want to make her brother happy and we constantly see them both grappling with the idea that if pax is happy, pri should be happy too because they're convinced that this is what they both want.

as the story continues, pax begins pushing even harder for pri to do things the way he wants. near the start of the battle camp, quadra uses lightning pandora when pax wants her to use tidal pandora. pax asks why and intuits it’s because of her loss to xander. he says that it doesn’t matter if she loses, everything is going according to “their” plan, and pri lashes out from her frustration that he won’t explain what the plan actually is and he snaps, yelling at her that she doesn’t need to understand everything going on and tells her to just do as he says and she hesitates for a moment before agreeing.

later, pax tries to get wakiya to withdraw pri from the tag-team tournament because he doesn’t like the possibility of bell influencing her. jiji gets pax to allow pri to continue participating in the tournament by showing how happy pri and bell are to be battling and says there’s no doubt the two will help make each other stronger. and while pax gives in, knowing he’d only come off as unreasonable had he protested further, it’s clear pax isn’t happy he wasn’t able to maintain full control of the conversation and therefore make the decision for pri. this scene is meant to show how pax thinks he knows what's best for pri and wants to convince not only pri but the people around her of that too.

later, during the tag-team tournament, pax convinces bell to try and win the next match all by himself and he loses the match for both himself and quadra. pri, having deduced that pax said something to provoke bell, confronts pax and he says pandora should be battling on its own and the tournament is a waste of time. this upsets pri greatly and she runs from him. this scene is meant to establish pri beginning to realize pax might not have her best interests in mind.

then, aiga shows up to hell’s gate and challenges pri and bell to a 2-on-1 battle, and if they win he’ll battle them both individually. before she makes a decision, she calls pax and he says she doesn’t have to accept any team battles she’s challenged to, but she retorts that aiga will battle her individually anyway if she and bell can win. pax, not-so-kindly, tells pri to do what she wants before hanging up. this is actually a common tactic of highly controlling and manipulative people where they basically say “you don’t need me, so do whatever and see what happens when I’m not there to tell you what to do,” usually under the guise of wanting what’s best for the victim so when something does go wrong, the victim feels obligated to go back to them. she battles aiga with bell and without her mask and they end up losing. everything pax has done so far has been to convince pri to give up her individuality for the sake of achieving “their” goal, and quadra losing this battle is exactly what pax wanted to happen so she’d feel obligated to listen to him.

after the first couple of rounds in the champion challenge tournament and the first individual battle is announced as kit vs quadra, pax confronts pri and tells her she must win against aiga and that everything will work out if she just listens to him and she once again agrees. during the match, wakiya and valt explain to aiga pax’s situation and valt posits that pri took up pandora and the identity of quadra to carry on pax’s dream of becoming a legend. aiga restates the thematic question, asking if that’s what quadra wants and explains that he couldn’t ever see himself blading for the sake of someone else’s dream. after quadra loses, pax confronts her and tells her pandora should have won and that the reason they lost was because quadra chose a flawed strategy. aiga goes out of his way to defy pax and tells quadra her strategy was perfect. he declares pax has no say in the matter because it wasn’t his battle to begin with, which of course offends pax. then later, quadra loses to valt, frustrating pax even further and cementing pax’s growing belief that pri does not have what it takes to achieve his goals as long as she has any say in what she does.

later, valt gets a call from shu about the ruins in england and valt plans to leave to see what’s going on. pri talks to pax, saying she knows he’s leaving for england too. she asserts that it has nothing to do with them or their plan but pax responds saying that he’ll be the one to decide that, a clear declaration to pri that he’s the one who knows what’s right. he goes on to tell her that there isn’t any reason pandora should lose to belial and that if she loses, the only explanation is that she’s the problem. pax then admits he doesn’t believe in pri and challenges her to prove to him that he should. while at the ruins, pax declares that “his” pandora is the only bey capable of reaching the highest level of elemental power and pri hopes he meant to say that pandora was both of theirs, again giving pri more reason to doubt pax. aiga approaches pri and tells her she’s her own person and she should do things the way she wants to and reassures her that pandora is her’s as well.

the next day, it’s announced that quadra and bell will battle to determine who will face kit in the finals. pax tells pri to use twister break against bell but pri says bell knows twister break because of how much they used it in the tag-team tournament. pax says it’s the perfect chance to master twister break so she can beat aiga and valt and that bell shouldn’t be of any concern. he reminds her that it’s “their” dream to create the ultimate bey and then reassures her that pandora is both of theirs. for the first two rounds of the battle, she listens to pax but ends up hesitating before the third round, causing pax to insult her and say that if it were him battling, he would have won. this causes quadra to break from pax's plan and battle her own way and while she ends up losing, she finds herself happy in spite of the outcome. at the end of the episode, pax confronts pri demanding she tell him why she broke from his plan when she would have won if she hadn’t. she finally asserts to pax that, even if he would have won, it doesn’t matter because she isn’t him, she is herself — pri and quadra. pax demands pri give back pandora, but before he can take it, bell stops him. pri then proclaims that she’s been the one making pandora stronger, not him, so pandora belongs to her.

(end trigger warning)

and so that’s a wrap on the first question and subsequently pri’s arc as a whole. this particular exploration of the theme was good. it wasn’t nearly as deep as it could have been and the last two questions should have been far more substantial parts of pri’s arc as they have just as much bearing on the outcome of the first question as all of the things in the story that seem more directly related to it. as stated before, it’s frustrating that the last two questions get answered so quickly and require so little struggle or introspection for pri to find the right conclusion for herself, but the conclusions she comes to are those that would be rewarding and feel great if they’d actually allowed pri to earn them. the third question was obviously the most prominent with a very decent build up, though there could have been far more emphasis placed on pri’s struggle with it. we know how much she cares for pax and wants to make him happy and we know she knows to do that she needs to do what he wants, but we also know how much pride she takes in being able to do things her own way and seeing her grappling with the two conflicting motivations is engaging and impactful, but we just don’t get enough of it.

with all this being said, we aren’t quite done with the theme of identity as it is also explored a bit with pax, which makes sense considering he’s as important as he is to pri’s arc dealing with the theme to begin with.

(tw: this section contains brief mentions of emotional manipulation and generally toxic behavior from a caretaker as well as mentions of an ableist trope)

the exploration of the theme of identity through pax is shown with how he projects his identity onto pri. after it’s revealed his injury barred him from blading any longer, we see in flashbacks how devastating it is to him as it was his dream to become a legendary blader like valt and shu and pri sees this too. it’s shown to us how close they are, and that beyblade has helped them bond and so the previously presented information that pax made pandora, the mask and the quadra identity for pri and the constant use of phrases like “our dream” makes it clear that pax has to some degree imparted parts of his identity onto pri so she can carry out his dream and she accepts it because she cares for him. as the story continues, it becomes even more clear how he takes advantage of this part of pri, constantly guilt-tripping her into listening to him by reminding her that this is “their” dream until it culminates in her snapping and asserting her own identity to his face. pax is a character who goes through a devastating loss, becoming disabled which forces him to give up on something massively important to him, something entwined with his sense of self and identity. losing something like that would make anybody feel completely lost, and with pax the grief results in him pushing that part of himself onto pri so he can live vicariously through her. the logical conclusion would then be to have part of his arc be about him finding a new sense of identity, one that doesn’t require pri to subjugate herself to him, but they don’t give him that at all. in the end, pax doesn’t need to do any sort of introspection or search for a new sense of identity because he is simply cured of his disability and he doesn’t have to face any consequences for how he treated pri.

(end trigger warning)

Grief

and that brings us to the second theme of quadstrike — grief. this theme is primarily explored through the main antagonist, pax forsythe, although pri has some part of it as well.

as stated before, it’s revealed pax goes through a devastating loss after his injury forces him give up on blading and his dreams and the loss causes him an immense amount of grief. throughout the season, we’re shown through flashbacks how he feels lost without this part of himself and then it’s revealed he finds out about elemental power. he is in denial that his dream is over and he sees elemental power as a means to give pri the power needed to carry on his dream and he becomes obsessed with it and achieving those goals vicariously through her. it also explains his admiration for shu while he was red eye, a time in shu’s life where he had obsessed over power so he could achieve the dreams he had been unable to previously.

later on, after he decides he has no need for pri any longer, he creates a new bey, some sort of mechanical brace for his injured arm, and a mask. the mask actually conceals the vision on his right side, making it so he can’t see his injured arm and during the lodestar battle tournament, shu explains to pri that when pax sees his injured arm, it causes him emotional pain, compounding how much his grief has affected him and showing the extent of his denial.

(tw: this paragraph contains a brief mention of an ableist trope)

and with all of this in mind, you’d think pax’s arc should have been about him learning to accept his disability and the things it prevents him from doing, beginning a long journey of healing, but that isn’t what happens (and, to be clear, that journey of healing wouldn’t have had to have happened during the show. sometimes the end to an arc marks the beginning of another that’s implied to happen after the end of the show, and arcs that end like this can be incredibly powerful). again, he doesn’t have to accept his loss and grief, he is simply cured of his disability. aside from the gross implications of this that I will get into later, it’s just such an awful way to end an arc. no introspection, no emotional compromise, no real consequences for his actions. he’s just handed a conclusion and the conclusion is everything he wants it to be so they can force in a “beyblade is fun, buy our products please” message instead. and it doesn’t end there.

(end trigger warning)

with pri, we're shown how she sees pax grieving for this loss and how it affects their relationship. they’re no longer able to bond through beyblade the way they were able to before and pax can no longer find happiness and meaning through beyblade in the way he wants, which of course hurts pri. she cares for him and so she does what she genuinely believes will help him heal, taking up the identity of quadra and his goal to create the ultimate elemental bey and become a legendary blader for him. through her, we get to see the way grief impacts the people around the grieving person as well.

we know she eventually breaks away from his control, or at least that’s how it starts out. of course after what happens between pri and pax, pri would be going through grief herself. she denies to herself that pax just doesn’t care about her now that she’s asserted her own identity and this could have been taken in several interesting directions, but they simply go for the worst option imaginable. they have her continue to orbit around pax, every decision she makes from this point forward being for him, completely undermining her original arc and practically abandoning this second one. there is no introspection or closure and the only compromise is them compromising her entire character arc.

quadstrike starts out so strong with this theme so I have genuinely no idea how they ended up fucking it up so unbelievably badly. and the mishandling of themes isn’t the only reason quadstrike’s story feels like it lacks much substance.

Characters

quadstrike’s use of its characters for its story manages to be impressively refreshing at times, disappointingly safe and boring at others, and infuriatingly incompetent at its worst.

first, let’s talk about the secondary characters. this part of the cast doesn't really have anything all too interesting going on, which is understandable. they’re there for the purpose of serving the plot and the main characters’ narratives and they fulfill those roles perfectly competently. that doesn’t mean they couldn’t have been more interesting, but what we got wasn’t bad. a lot of the issues of shallow character-writing with most of the returning characters are things that are rooted in characterization from past seasons, and at this point you can’t really change that without either dedicating way too much time to characters that just aren’t meant to be all that important in this season or completely retconning parts of those prior seasons. if this season had been 51 episodes, maybe we could have gotten some of the former as well as more time to flesh out other parts of the plot and story, but that just wasn’t ever going to be in the cards for quadstrike.

Bell

now let’s get into the protagonists. between bell and pri, bell is very clearly the weaker character and it’s not a close competition. while pri’s arc is written to develop a theme as well as to explore her as a character, bell isn’t given an arc at all. well, ok, he gets an “arc” where the conclusion is just for him to upgrade his beyblade again so hasbro has more product to sell and it’s frustrating because they get so close to doing something actually interesting with his character.

throughout the season, bell loses. a lot. yes, he wins a lot too and a large portion of them are not deserved, but he actually does lose more than he wins. in episode 12 in particular, he’s provoked by pax to try and win the tag team battle with pri against hikaru and hyuga by himself. being an egotistical 10 year old, he falls for it and ends up losing the match for himself and quadra. while this moment is mostly used to further pri and pax’s story, bell is shown to be massively affected by this loss, at least at first. but of course, he couldn’t care less after the next episode begins. then, after bell loses the title match against aiga, he’s shown once again to feel incredibly upset and frustrated with the loss, but he simply gets over it immediately when he decides the solution is to evolve belial. and before any of this, bell loses to several other opponents as well, but only ever seems to be shaken by it a minimal amount if at all.

the reason I bring any of this up is because I think it’s such a wasted opportunity. bell loses so much and if they’d leaned harder into bell’s frustration with losing so many battles (and honestly if they’d had him lose more, like his final battle against ken and/or his second solo battle with hyuga) then they could’ve had an actual arc for him. like, have him get super upset and angry with himself that he keeps losing and maybe have him push too hard and end up breaking belial. that’d even give them an excuse to have him evolve belial. yes it would be a very similar arc to aiga in cho-z but at least it’d be SOMETHING. obviously this is only a single idea for the direction they could’ve taken and I have absolutely zero doubt any of you in the audience could come up with something more interesting than what ended up happening in the show.

that aside, bell was mostly just his usual over-confident and obnoxious 10-year old self committing acts of sillay mischief (which to many of you might be a negative but I love him and I like it when he’s obnoxious so this was a win for me<3).

Pri

on the other hand, pri was a very strong character for the vast majority of the show and was easily the highlight of the entire season. when it comes to her characterization, I found her to be very enjoyable. she’s kind and incredibly passionate and boisterous and playful but she tries to put on a cooler outward appearance in front of other bladers which she often fails at because of her hot-headed and stubborn nature. she’s caring but prideful which often ends up causing conflict between her and pax since she cares about making her brother happy by doing what he wants but she can’t help but disobey at times because she takes pride in doing things her way. her cocky demeanor in the beginning is par for the course with burst characters, but it becoming more and more a mask (haha, get it) for her decreasing self-confidence as the story went on was a level of depth I hadn’t expected to see in a new burst character at this point in the series. because of all of this, her dynamics with other characters, especially bell, are so much fun and it was an absolute joy to see her relationships with the rest of the cast and it was always fun to see her getting silly with it.

unlike bell, she was written with an arc in mind and the arc in question was pretty good for the majority of the show’s runtime. as stated previously, it wasn’t nearly as deep as it could have been but by burst standards, it was a massive breath of fresh air. seeing pri make decisions that retained her agency felt good and the moment when she stood up to pax and asserted her own identity was great.

so yeah, it sucks how they then managed to drop the ball as hard as they did right at the finish line. having pri be in denial about pax’s behavior towards her is fine, but they never give her the moment of realization she deserves. she never leaves him despite what he’s done and every decision she makes after standing up to him continues to be for him, which is such a monumental moon-jump backwards from the incredibly strong writing they’d done for her before. her identity once again becomes centered around pax and it is infuriating to watch play out, like literally what was the point of her asserting her own identity if this was what was going to happen afterwards. it’s like they just decided to completely drop everything interesting about her after her moment in the spotlight (a very familiar problem they seem to have with every strong girl character in this series hmmmmmmmm 🤔.)

Pax

(tw: this section contains discussion of an ableist trope)

and pax. oh boy what to say about pax. well, first and foremost his arc started out as another one of the best in the season. which isn’t really saying that much when there’s only two other arcs and one of those arcs concludes with the character just making more beyblade products, but still. but then they managed to blow it so fucking hard at the end that it easily became the worst of the three.

the setup for his arc centering around his grief and lost sense of identity was good, and the build-up throughout the season was even better. his motivations were understandable, but it became increasingly clear just how unhealthy his obsession with holding onto his dream was, not just for himself, but for pri especially. you want him to accept his disability and what it prevents him from doing so he can finally heal and find something else to live for and you really want him to see that what he’s doing is wrong and for him to apologize to pri. so why does none of this happen and instead he just has his disability cured.

ok, let me make something super clear here. this is a disgustingly and infuriatingly ableist conclusion to a disabled character's arc. pax’s entire arc centers around how he has to give up on his dream because of his disability, a common reality for disabled people in real life. it is an absolutely devastating thing to go through, but something disabled people stress is the importance of coming to terms with their disability so they can find some semblance of peace and continue living their lives to the best of their ability. there is no cure for disability in real life and every attempt to do so has resulted in failure at best and outright eugenics and genocide at worst, and so disabled people have made it clear that the “cured disability” narrative commonly seen in fantasy and sci-fi settings is a harmful trope. in some stories, it’s used as a “reward” for the hero, while in others it’s used as a copout so the creators don’t have to deal with having a disabled character or so the previously disabled character can have a happy ending. curing their disability is used as a conclusion to an arc because able-bodied writers cannot for the life of them imagine a character living a happy life with a disability and that’s very much what it’s used for here. from the beginning, I was hoping so so much that they weren’t going to do this, and I’d gotten my hopes up because of their surprisingly deep and empathetic handling of pri and pax’s characters for most of the season, but they went for the easy option resulting in an insulting and vile conclusion to an otherwise great arc.

(end trigger warning)

pax is, however, a great antagonist. as obvious as it may be to the audience, in the story it starts out pretty ambiguous what exactly his role is meant to be in the season, but as the season goes on, his mask begins to slip and his sinister personality becomes more apparent. this is actually a somewhat common trope with antagonists in the burst series, but pax stands out due to the fact that he isn’t even a blader until the last few episodes in the season. most of his time is spent as a coach to pri, using manipulation as his main weapon rather than a beyblade. again, not necessarily completely unique to him but it feels more present and impactful in this season due to his deep history and close ties to one of the main protagonists.

let me elaborate a bit: with drum and gwyn, the slow reveal of gwyn’s manipulation doesn’t feel as significant because, throughout the season, drum isn’t only naive to gwyn’s ulterior motives, but to literally every stranger he meets. we know he isn’t going to see it until it’s too late and we know at the end he’s going to win gwyn over with the power of friendship and beyblades. additionally, he has no previous relationship with gwyn either, so there's no reason to be invested or feel impacted when it happens.

with pri and pax, however, we see that they have a close familial relationship. pri’s trust in pax isn’t just her being naive by nature, it’s because she cares for him and has little reason to do otherwise. yes, she disobeys him early on, but it’s not out of a sense of distrust for him, but because of her own pride. and it’s not that pax just straight up doesn’t care about pri at all, he has thoroughly convinced himself that what he wants is what pri wants too. so as the story unfolds and pax’s selfish, controlling, and manipulative behavior comes through, it has a far more obvious impact on pri and therefore the audience too, and it creates a stronger reason to be invested in the developing story around their relationship.

and speaking of that story, it is easily one of the most interesting aspects of the entire season. pax’s descent and the slowburn reveal that he’s only interested in his own goals and happiness once pri has made it clear she doesn’t want exactly what pax does is paced so well and feels genuinely devastating. which makes it even more frustrating when they fuck it up right at the end. again. one part of this has to do with what I discussed about pri’s arc before. the fact they never give her a moment of realization means the break in their relationship is completely one-sided, which makes any realization pax has about what he’s done/is doing way less impactful. and then the fact he doesn’t even really have that realization, but instead realizes that “beyblade is fun,” a conclusion to an arc that pax never has, is just. what. and then on top of that, the fact he realizes this because of bell instead of pri??? there’s no real closure between them, everything is just fixed all of a sudden at the end. it just feels awful and it makes it clear that the only reason they never had pri leave pax was so they could minimize pri’s writing at the end and have bell fix everything and it is, once again, rage-inducing to watch.

and all of this — quadstrike’s unwillingness to dig deeper into its themes, its baffling mishandling of said themes and its characters, and insistence on derailing every interesting part of its story for a “beyblade is fun, please buy our products” message at the end (a message they could have easily ended with without throwing out every character arc and theme they’d established) — is why quadstrike struggles to be anything more than an advertisement. it’s a story about kids running around playing with highly marketable toys that seems to desperately want to be about a pair of siblings grappling with grief and their own identities after having experienced loss, but can’t be that because the toys need to get advertised.

Conclusion

so yeah. I enjoyed it. ok I know after how harsh I’ve been, you might be a bit confused. let me be clear: I don’t “like” quadstrike. in fact, I fucking hate it. I hate its unwillingness to defy its status as “just a children’s toy anime,” I hate what it represents as a symbol of the compromise and degradation of story-telling as an artform and art as a form of story-telling for the sake of corporate marketing, I hate how it comes so. SO close. to being something more than what it was expected to be just to fall short right at the end. I hate it!

but I also can’t help but love it. I love this series. I love the characters and their stories. I love the ridiculous and stupid shit that happens to and because of them. I love their relationships and dynamics with each other. it’s all so much fun and they all mean a lot to me, which is why I’m so hard on the burst series whenever it fucks it up. because I see so much potential in what’s here and seeing it be wasted constantly, over and over again, hurts. I know beyblade is a kid’s show and none of this is to say that it can't just be dumb fun, but the problem is when it clearly wants to do something more but ends up compromising out of fear, and I can recognize the parts of it that don’t treat its audience like idiots whose sole purpose is to be marketed to and I just wish it would wholeheartedly embrace that part of itself. I want kids to see stories about trauma, identity, grief, communication, etc. because these are real world things that kids are dealing with and are going to deal with for the rest of their lives and they deserve quality stories and art that teach them about these human things and about being human just as much as anyone else. so that's why I ask: why can’t it be that. when it constantly comes so close, why can't it just hit the mark once and be something more than a marketing trick. just once, why can't it be a piece of art instead of a piece of advertising.

with all that said, if I ever decide to do a rewatch of the burst series, you can be sure I'll only be watching quadstrike through episode 19 and then making up the rest in my head, and if you're wanting to watch the season too I'd suggest you do the same.

#beyblade burst #beyblade burst quadstrike #long post #goodeger #spam

[feekins]

oh man, I am having a LOT of feelings about ch 4 - it's hitting me completely differently from any other time I've read it (mostly thanks to the Overhaul 💕) so. let's get into that. thoughts and things and translation weirdness I find as I re-read Trigun Maximum vol 3.

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

ok so this is a silly lil Dark Horse thing: at the end of ch 3, Vash called Leonov "Player Emilio" - but then ch 4 is titled "Emilio the Player." Dark Horse so silly~

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

🎶 WHERE DID U COME FROM, WHERE DID U GO / WHERE DID U COME FROM, PUPPET-MAN SHOW 🎶

ok but srsly - doing VS going ("going" makes more sense contextually). next, the Overhaul makes it clear that Brad could be hearing Vash and/or Wolfwood fighting, based on the explicit mention of gunfire - although I suppose this could anyone else? sad faces are bc I like Sensei. I don't like how Dark Horse kinda makes it seem like Brad's more angy than concerned?

on the next panel on the next page, there are some other translation discrepancies. Dark Horse has "You... Can you come out of this, grinning and victorious...?! Vash the Stampede." meanwhile, the Overhaul has "You think you can get out of this... You think you can win... Vash the Stampede?!"

subtle differences here, but imo the Overhaul is more explicit/straightforward in its explanation - and it feels like what Vash is saying supports what I was saying last chapter about how Leonov separates/distances himself from what he's doing. there is, in fact, a distinct disconnect.

then, on the next 2 pages...it feels like, as Vash lists names, he's inching his way toward a reconnection. Leonov's expression is different right before Isabel is mentioned - or rather, he's not completely expressionless anymore. I'd even say it's like this...slowly-dawning recognition? before he completely breaks at "Isabel".

important distinctions here imo. "lie" implies a denial, while "things" implies Leonov doesn't/can't recognize who Vash is referring to - further illustrating the disconnect between the GHG Leonov and his former self, Emilio.

next, "point" + "continued existance" are huge here. it's not a question of Vash's reason for being - it's "why shouldn't I kill you?" which flows right into Leonov saying (paraphrasing both translations here) "I don't care about his punishment" - which I thought was in reference to Vash continuing to live and being 'punished' by the GHGs, but now, I think it's more likely he's referring to how Knives would punish Leonov for going against orders and killing Vash.

SENSEIIIIIIIIIIII 😭

the hands bit in Dark Horse feels kinda misleading? like...yeah, Leonov uses his hands to make and control the puppets, but the point isn't so much that as it is how easily Leonov has been able to do it all thus far.

(...it also occurs to me just now that, in Vash calling him "Emilio" this whole time...to me, it's like...despite the horrific things this puppeteer is doing, despite what he's become, despite this monstrous role he's cast himself as...he's still this human person whom Vash knows. it's not a denial of the new identity - it's acknowledgment of his continued humanity. which makes him "family" to Vash. lol I just made myself sad.)

now, let's dig deeper into "guignol"! from what I understand, it's not just any French puppet show - it's a genre characterized by being horrifically graphic and gory and morally bankrupt! 😁

...and here, we have interesting typesetting choices on Dark Horse's part...

once again, the Overhaul's translation is much more clear. also, religious imagery methinks? with that last thing Vash says?

...some weird speech bubble-swapping between translations...

I always thought this line in Dark Horse was weird - it makes so much more sense as a question, like how the Overhaul does it.

...with all that blood...I think...this is where the people-puppets get made... 😱

#trigunbookclub #text postan 2k23 #bit late today - I had tabletop rpg #anyway heehee this arc is so fucked up 🥲

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Loud vs. Quiet Love

Buck and Eddie demonstrate love in different ways, i.e., one loud and one quiet. While the ways they show love for one another are different, it doesn’t mean either way is any less intense or passionate. Their distinct ways of one loving the other quietly while the other one loves loudly are both complementary because they work together to illustrate the strength they have in their partnership and how they will continue to complement each other after they become a CANON couple.  Eddie shows his love for Buck quietly with his heart eyes and unspoken words or the delayed reveal of his actions while Buck shows his love for Eddie loudly with screams of his name and actions that include him dropping everything to take care of both Eddie and Christopher.  Let’s review the ways they demonstrate their love for each other.

Please note this is not an all-inclusive list of every time Buck and Eddie have demonstrated the ways they love one another because it would be too extensive.

Eddie

Eddie has demonstrated his love for Buck many times over the past several years by the way he looks at him with heart eyes; subtle touches to let Buck know he’s there for him; his complimentary words; the way he takes care of him; his encouragement by listening to Buck’s rambles about different topics; participating in his and Buck’s silent conversations; giving Buck his heart over and over again and the QUIET but VERY LOUD way he chose to legally include Buck in his family when he made a life altering decision for both of them after 3x15 “Eddie Begins”.  While most of the ways Eddie shows his love for Buck are quiet, there was one time he demonstrated it loudly with words and that was after Buck filed a lawsuit against Bobby and the LAFD.

The subtle ways Eddie shows his love for Buck started with his heart eyes towards him in 2x1 “Under Pressure” when they were in the firehouse gym. Buck was being a brat and tried to intimidate Eddie because he felt threatened by him but Eddie took it all in stride and remained calm.  After Eddie asked Buck what his problem was, Buck said, “Ok you. You’re my problem. Your comfort level. You’re not supposed to just walk in here like you’ve been here for years. It’s meant to be a getting to know you period. You’re meant to respect your elders”.  While Buck was talking, Eddie gave him his first pair of heart eyes while he bit his lip and then he acknowledged the fact that he knew Buck was single, even though Buck hadn’t realized yet that he was single since his girlfriend had abandoned him.  He then complimented Buck when he said, “I’m just saying I hear you’re a good guy and I’m sorry you’re going through pain but you don’t need to take it out on me or be threatened by me. We’re on the same team”. Eddie complimented Buck when he told him he heard that he was a good guy and then he told Buck there was no need to feel threatened by him.  He complimented Buck a second time after they removed the grenade from Charlie’s leg when he told him “You’re bad @ss under pressure brother” and Buck said, “Who me?” and Eddie continued with “He!! yeah, you can have my back any day”.  Eddie quickly realized the way to Buck’s heart was by complimenting him and encouraging him so that he would realize that he had no reason to feel threatened by Eddie’s presence.  His quiet demonstration of love for Buck started on his first day with the 118.

The heart eyes he gave Buck continued as Buck stepped all the way into Eddie and Christopher’s lives. In 3x1 “Kids Today”, Eddie took Christopher to Buck’s loft so that Buck and Christopher could spend the day together since Buck was depressed about not being allowed to return to work. Eddie constantly used Christopher as a shield for his own feelings; therefore him taking Christopher to Buck was a quiet gesture of love.  He was worried about Buck, especially after Buck had an embolism so he gave Buck the most precious part of himself, Christopher, his heart, to take care of for the day so that he would feel better. Buck asked Christopher what he was doing there and Eddie said, “He’s hanging out with his Buck today because I have to go to work”.  Then Buck asked where Carla was and Christopher told him she went to Morongo.  Eddie said, “Take him out. Have some fun. Maybe you’ll learn something. He never feels sorry for himself”.  This was one of the many quiet ways Eddie showed Buck how much he loves him.  He didn’t want Buck to continue spiraling about his job so he gave him his heart for the first time in CANON but it wouldn’t be the last.

After the Tsunami, Eddie gave Buck his heart again in 3x3 “The Searchers” when he took Christopher back to Buck’s loft.  Eddie knew Buck was blaming himself for him and Christopher having been separated during the Tsunami, therefore Eddie wanted Buck to know that he still trusted him with his heart.  He told Buck how he knew that Buck loved Christopher just as much as he did and that he would never stop trying even when he believed he had failed them. Then Eddie told him, “There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you”. Eddie quietly and intimately told Buck how much he loved him with his words and with his actions.  He knows Buck blames himself for a lot of things that aren’t his fault so he not only showed him with his actions but he told him too when he reminded Buck of how much he trusts him.  Eddie trusted his heart with Buck because he knows Buck won’t break it and the way he trusts Buck with his heart continued to grow over the years.

Eddie is usually very quiet in demonstrating his love for Buck but there was one time when he was verbally loud and that was during their argument in the grocery store.  In 3x5 “Rage” Eddie was upset because he hadn’t been able to talk to Buck since Buck’s lawyer advised him to cease all contact with the 118 during the lawsuit.  Eddie got arrested for punching a guy over a parking space and he had to call his temporary partner to bail him out of jail.  When the 118 went grocery shopping, Buck followed them there so that he could apologize. After Buck started his apology to the team, Eddie interrupted him and unleashed all of his anger towards Buck. He explained how Buck told the lawyer everything about them and when Buck asked Eddie why he was so pissed at him, Eddie continued his rant.  But when Chimney tried to speak up for Buck, Eddie got even more pissed off and gave Chimney a look that said, ‘This is between me and my boyfriend Buck so stay out of it’.  Then Eddie turned back to Buck and said, “No but he filed that stupid lawsuit and now I can’t even talk to you because of it. Do you know how much Christopher misses you? How could you, you’re not around”.  Reminder, Eddie uses Christopher as a shield when he talks about his own heart and feelings; therefore Eddie’s anger illustrated how much he missed Buck too. Their argument inside of the grocery store was the first time Eddie had been loud about his feelings for Buck and he expressed his feelings in front of the 118.

In 3x15 “Eddie Begins”, Eddie was trapped in a well and while he was fighting for his life and trying not to drown, he had several flashbacks that mostly included Christopher and Buck.  Eddie changed his will and named Buck to be Christopher’s legal guardian if anything happens to him after he got out of The Well but he didn’t tell anyone about it.  This was the QUIETEST but also the LOUDEST way Eddie demonstrated his love for Buck. Not only did he name Buck in his will, it was the way he quietly and legally included Buck in the family he chose and the way he kept it hidden from everyone including Buck that demonstrated how much he loves Buck.  He was legally giving Buck his heart, Christopher so that Buck would have the very best part of Eddie if Eddie were to die.

The Shooting in 4x13 “Suspicion” changed things for both of them because it was the traumatic event that made Buck and Eddie realize they could lose each other forever. Eddie was the one who got shot but since it happened right in front of Buck, they were both affected at the same time which is different from the way things happened at The Well.  Eddie didn’t cry, yell, scream or shout after he had been shot, he just looked at Buck.  The ways he demonstrated his love for Buck that followed him being shot were quiet and subtle but they were there for Buck to see them.  Eddie reached for Buck while he was on the ground bleeding out in 4x14 “Survivors”; he asked Buck “Are you hurt?” while they were inside of the firetruck and he gave Buck one last look before he went unconscious.  His actions were quiet and he took care in making sure Buck understood how concerned he was for him even though he was the one who got shot.  The 133 saw both of their reactions but Buck’s was loud while Eddie’s was quiet.

Eddie realized Buck was blaming himself for The Shooting after he woke up from his coma in 4x14 “Survivors” during Buck’s visit when Buck said, “Still, I think it would have been better for him [Christopher] if I was the one who got shot”.  Eddie made the decision to tell Buck about the change he made to his will.  When he was preparing to leave the hospital, he told Buck that he would be there to take care of Christopher if something happened to him.  Buck was shocked and asked if he needed his consent but Eddie already knew Buck wouldn’t say no to caring for Christopher in the event of Eddie’s untimely death. Eddie explained the reason he changed his will when he told Buck, “But no one will ever fight for my son as hard as you. And that’s what I want for him”.   Eddie was giving Buck his heart again but the difference between that time and the other times he gave him his heart was Eddie had made it legal.  He quietly changed his will and he told Buck about it in a very intimate setting where it was just the two of them just like he did after the Tsunami when he told Buck there was no one in the world he trusted with Christopher more than him.

Eddie and Buck were taken hostage by two escaped convicts in 5x6 “Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1” and the convicts forced them to drive them to the hospital. When they arrived, Buck tried to talk the convicts out of going inside but after Mitchell said he would shoot Buck, then Eddie and go to Eddie’s house to shoot Christopher, Eddie said, “Buck!” which was his way of saying Buck’s name so that Buck would know he needed to exit the ambulance for Christopher’s sake. Eddie didn’t give two “Fs” about whether he was going to die but he wasn’t going to let Buck be hurt any more than he already had been.  So he told Buck with the simple way that he said his name to get out of that ambulance.  It was Eddie’s quiet and subtle way of demonstrating his love for both Christopher and Buck because he was willing to sacrifice himself so that they could live. It was like Eddie changing his will all over again but it happened in real time with no delayed reveal to Buck.

Eddie had a mental breakdown in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia” and he locked himself in his bedroom so that Christopher wouldn’t see any of it.   After Christopher heard the noises, he called Buck and Buck rushed over to their house.   Buck checked on Christopher first to reassure him that everything was going to be ok and that he was going to check on Eddie. Then Buck broke down Eddie’s bedroom door after Eddie didn’t respond.  Eddie remained quiet and kept silently crying until he heard Buck calling for him. Buck asked him what was going on and Eddie said, “They’re all dead!” and Buck said, “Who’s all dead?”. He was vulnerable and he only allowed Buck to see him in that state.  Buck had never seen Eddie cry before and it was both shocking and scary for both him and Christopher.  Eddie told Buck that he didn’t mean to scare Christopher but he just lost it when he learned that everyone that he served with in the Army had died.  He was quiet while he sobbed until he heard his person, his Buck, the person he trusts most in the world call his name. Eddie allowing Buck to see him like that was important for both of them because they trust each other and they know that they will take care of the other one.  Eddie knew he was safe with Buck and he knew Buck would do whatever it took albeit loudly or quietly to help him get better.

Buck

Buck has also demonstrated his love for Eddie several times over the last four years by the way he looks at him with his piercing blue eyes and million-dollar-smile; making Eddie talk to him when Eddie won’t open up and talk to anyone else including his therapist; stepping into Eddie and Christopher’s lives to fix things when Eddie hasn’t asked him to; taking care of Christopher whenever Eddie can’t; listening to Eddie because he knows it’s hard for Eddie to express himself sometimes; participating in their silent conversations; dismissing Eddie’s self-deprecating remarks about himself; encouraging Eddie and reminding him that he’s a great dad and most importantly loving Eddie for who he is instead of trying to force him to be someone he’s not. While most of the ways Buck shows his love for Eddie are loud, there was one time he demonstrated it quietly by simply listening and responding to Eddie only when necessary, after Eddie had his mental breakdown.

After Buck got over his feelings of being replaced by Eddie, they became trusted partners in every sense of the word.  Buck drove Eddie to Christopher’s school after the earthquake in 2x3 “Help Is Not Coming” and he drove Eddie to the hospital in 2x4 “Stuck” so that Eddie could check on his abuela after she broke her hip while she was caring for Christopher.  That’s when Buck met Pepa, Eddie’s Tia’, and he learned that Eddie was having trouble getting permanent childcare for Christopher.  Pepa told Buck about it and even though Eddie never mentioned it, Buck started trying to figure out how to help.  First, he talked to Bobby and told him that Eddie may have to bring Christopher to the firehouse. Then he contacted Carla and asked her to help Eddie complete the paperwork he needed to get Christopher’s childcare established.  Buck was loud with his actions because he had to contact other people to help Eddie. He stepped in without overstepping and he didn’t make Eddie feel bad or like he wasn’t enough when he helped Eddie by getting things organized for Christopher’s childcare. Eddie was shocked when he learned Buck had done all of those things but he never asked him to stop.  Buck and Eddie had started building a family together without either of them realizing it and Buck was loud in demonstrating his love for Eddie and Christopher with the way he stepped in.

Buck was distraught after he and Christopher got separated in the Tsunami in 3x3 “The Searchers” and he spent all day searching for Christopher.  He called Maddie for help regarding what he should do which was a loud way of expressing his love for them because he didn’t have to call anyone.  He could have avoided Eddie and kept looking for Christopher but he didn’t.  After Eddie saw him, Buck admitted that he lost Christopher and that was loud too because it was difficult for Buck to do it.  Christopher was being cared for by a woman who appeared right after Buck told Eddie what happened.  Buck was so relieved when Christopher appeared and he saw Eddie hugging him that he collapsed right in front of the 118 after Bobby asked him if he and Eddie were ok and Buck responded with, “Yeah, we’re, we’re great!”  All of Buck’s actions that day were loud and they showed how much he loves both Eddie and Christopher.

Buck returned to work in 3x6 “Monsters” after he turned down the settlement money from the lawsuit that he filed against the LAFD and the city but he returned to an icy reception from Eddie.  Eddie barely said a few words to Buck and whenever he did respond, his answers were short and angry.  Buck tried several times to talk to Eddie that day but Eddie wouldn’t relent. Finally Buck got tired of Eddie ignoring him and he said, “So that’s how it’s gonna be now…you’re just gonna uh keep right on ghosting me. Cause Halloween is over just so you know”.  Eddie told him he didn’t know what Buck wanted from him and Buck said, “I just want you to talk to me, even if it’s just to let me know that you’re still mad”.  They talked and Buck finally admitted the real reason why he filed the lawsuit was because he was mad at Bobby and because it felt like everyone was moving on without him and there wasn’t anything he could do about it.  Buck was loud when he called Eddie out in their open firehouse where anyone who walked by (someone actually did walk by while they were talking) or whoever was in the loft could hear their conversation.  Bobby and Hen were in the loft talking about Buck so they probably heard their conversation too.  He wanted Eddie to talk to him and he wasn’t going to give up until Eddie forgave him. Buck could take anyone else not talking to him, including Bobby but he couldn’t take Eddie ignoring him.  His actions were loud and Buck didn’t appear to care if someone heard their conversation because his goal was to make Eddie talk to him so that they could make up.

When Eddie got trapped in The Well in 3x15 “Eddie Begins”, Buck was hysterical and he was loud with all of his actions including the ones he demonstrated before the collapse.  Before the timer ran out and Bobby wanted to pull Eddie up, Buck tried to reason with him and explained how Eddie could almost have Hayden and be about to pull him up but Bobby wouldn’t listen. Then after Eddie cut his line, Buck told Bobby, “I should be the one to go down”. When The Well collapsed, Buck lost it and he loudly screamed Eddie’s name while he tried to dig him up with his bare hands.  Bobby had to pull him away from The Well and when he got himself together and came back downstairs, he questioned the 118 when it seemed like they all thought Eddie was dead.  But they quickly tried to reassure him that they didn’t think that and they were going to do everything they could to get Eddie out.  Buck’s demonstration of love for Eddie was loud and on display for everyone from the 118, the other rescuers, the news crews and anyone watching on television to see.  Buck obviously didn’t care who saw how much he loves Eddie because his thoughts were focused on saving him and he wasn’t ok until he saw Eddie again.

Eddie being shot in front of Buck in 4x13 “Suspicion” was disastrous for both of them and Buck’s mind couldn’t fully comprehend what happened until after Captain Mehta tackled him to the ground and he came out of being in a catatonic state of shock.  He could see Eddie lying on the ground but he couldn’t move and he didn’t consider his own safety so that he could take cover. Once he came out of shock in 4x14 “Survivors”, he focused his mind on getting Eddie to safety.  He rolled underneath the firetruck and loudly started screaming for Eddie and telling him to get his hand out because he was coming. After he pulled Eddie underneath the truck, he started screaming at the 133 when he said, “Get him up!” as he lifted Eddie and put him inside of the truck.  Once they were out of the line of fire, Buck ripped open Eddie’s shirt, ripped the gauze packets open with his teeth and placed pressure on Eddie’s wound.  He kept talking to Eddie to keep him alert and awake by telling him “I got you” and “Stay with me”.  Once they got Eddie to the hospital and Buck saw them wheel Eddie inside passed the glass doors, he returned to his state of shock after he answered Captain Mehta’s question of if he was ok.  He answered “No!” even though Captain Mehta didn’t wait for his response.  Buck’s actions to save Eddie were loud and on display for the 133 to see because he didn’t care who saw how much he loves Eddie and his only concern was keeping Eddie alive.

Buck’s actions regarding Christopher and Eddie both before and after Mitchell made him get out of the ambulance in 5x6 “Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1” were loud and easy for the escaped convicts to understand.  Mitchell and Dom realized that Buck was the one who couldn’t keep his emotions in check when Mitchell threatened all three of them after he pulled a picture of Christopher out of Eddie’s wallet and read off Eddie’s home address.  Buck was loud with his reaction because he stepped up and said, “Hey man” but he got whacked over the head with the butt of Dom’s gun for it.  After Eddie told Buck to leave the ambulance by simply saying his name, he was worried about Eddie the entire time he remained inside of the hospital.  Once he heard the gunshot, he thought Eddie was dead or dying so he ran towards the sound instead of running away from it.  He loudly called Eddie’s name and he didn’t stop until he realized Eddie was doing CPR on Mitchell and that’s when he started listening to Eddie’s instructions.  Buck’s love for Eddie was on display for everyone at the hospital, the police, any news crews and those watching the live broadcast on TV to see as he ran towards Eddie to make sure he was ok.

Typically Buck is loud with demonstrating his love for Eddie and Christopher but he was mostly quiet during Eddie’s breakdown.  When Christopher called Buck in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia” to tell him something was wrong with Eddie, Buck didn’t hesitate to leave his loft and drive to the Diaz residence.  He used his key and quietly entered the house then he saw Christopher and rushed over to him to check and make sure that he was ok. After he made sure Christopher was good, he knocked on Eddie’s bedroom door but he didn’t hear anything and that’s when he got scared.  He broke down the door but the way he called Eddie’s name was very different from the other times he’s called his name when he thought Eddie was in danger.  His voice sounded small, panicked and it was laced with worry as he called out to Eddie twice but he wasn’t ok until he heard Eddie crying.  After he put Christopher to bed, he joined Eddie in the dining room to talk about everything that happened.  While Buck did talk with Eddie and Christopher after he arrived, he spent most of his time listening to what they had to say instead of talking.  He listened so that he could understand what Eddie was going through and he demonstrated how much he loved both Eddie and Christopher by being there for them like he said he would in 3x9 “Fallout” after he apologized for the second time for filing the lawsuit.  Buck’s quiet demeanor helped Eddie to relax and trust that he was safe and that he could be vulnerable in front of Buck.

In 5x14 “Dumb Luck” Buck’s love for Eddie was loudly demonstrated again when he contacted Bobby and asked his girlfriend for help so that he could help Eddie.  After Buck helped Eddie following his breakdown, he organized everything and spent most of his time at the Diaz house.  He called Bobby and asked him to come over so that Eddie wouldn’t wake up alone while he took Christopher to school.  That wasn’t the first time Buck contacted Bobby on Eddie’s behalf and it probably won’t be the last.  After Eddie asked Buck if he thought their jobs were worth it, Buck went to his loft and told his girlfriend he needed help with finding someone.  Both of the actions Buck did were very loud because he contacted people again to help Eddie and he didn’t ask Eddie for his permission.  Buck steps into Eddie’s life whenever he believes it’s necessary and Eddie doesn’t stop him from doing it.

Buck gave Eddie a heart drawing after Eddie returned home from a therapy session and he did it to make Eddie smile.  His love for Eddie was loud and on display so that Eddie would understand that Buck finally understood the assignment of making it instead of trying to find it like Thomas told him in 2x8 “Buck Actually”.  Buck also organized a family outing for himself, Eddie and Christopher in 5x14 “Dumb Luck” when he took them to Equine Therapy.  The outing served two purposes: (1) so that Christopher could work with and ride some of the horses while they were there and (2) so that Eddie could see Charlie, the boy they went to save on the day when Eddie got shot.  Buck was so loud with demonstrating his love for Eddie that he even told Eddie that he did research with his girlfriend to find the place and he wasn’t bothered when Eddie responded with, “What kind of research?”  At that point Buck didn’t have any “Fs” to give regarding if his girlfriend or anyone else knew that he loved Eddie.  It was kind of like Buck didn’t care who he had to ask for help as long as Eddie was healing and getting better and that’s one of the loudest ways a person can demonstrate their love for someone.  He navigated any and all obstacles so that Eddie could start to heal.

Buck and Eddie demonstrate the love they have for each other differently; one loudly and the other one quietly but they show their love with the same amount of passion and intensity. They constantly let the other one know that they are there for them and they don’t try to hide the way they feel about each other.  The 118 certainly knows how Buck and Eddie feel about each other because they’ve witnessed countless interactions between the two of them including their grocery store argument, Buck’s reaction to Eddie being trapped in The Well, the aftermath of The Shooting and all the other times Buck and Eddie demonstrated the way they love each other unconditionally while they were in front of them (read blog posts: “Buck & Eddie: Chimney & Hen know Buck & Eddie are in love with each other” and “Buck & Eddie: Bobby already knows how much Buck loves Eddie” for more on the information the 118 knows about Buck and Eddie).   Others have witnessed the love they have for each other too including Pepa and Maddie who knew instantly after they met or heard about the other one that they meant more to each other than them just being work partners (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Maddie and Pepa knew instantly that Buck & Eddie had feelings for each other” for more on Maddie and Pepa’s reactions to Buck and Eddie).  Since they are both single again, will they finally take the necessary steps so that they can become a CANON couple during season 6?  Only the showrunners, writers and producers know the answer to that question.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911onfox #911 on fox #911 fox #911 s6 #911 meta #911 speculation #911

[jmdbjk]

Me, Myself, Namjoon/RM

ENTIRETY. 

Namjoon’s photo folio teaser dropped in the midst of Jikook-palooza and it really hit my wheelhouse like a brick. I said a long time ago, of all the members, I felt like my personality was similar to his, and seeing these sets of images just sealed that idea for me.

I know we’ve been saturated with Jimin and Jungkook doing their thing TOGETHER AS USUAL in clips from Memories 2021 and I am patiently waiting for my order to arrive so I can examine every frame of every disc and start stating my thoughts on their shenanigans. 

In the meantime, I will dissect Namjoon’s ENTIRETY Photo Folio teaser for us since my friend suggested I should blog about it. Please remember, these are just my thoughts on these images and I really have no idea what Joon was thinking when he worked through his concept. 

Let’s start with the bottom set of images:

Joon has chosen a serif typeface that is somewhat reminiscent of days past, nostalgic and the word ENTIRETY is distressed with age. As is the sepia-toned images. It is centered on the middle image of himself. Perhaps a statement: the entirety of responsibility was directly on him. All the text on these three images are in English. 

The center image of himself has backlighting blown out so his features are obscured. He’s standing in front of a door...turned perpendicular to it facing the right, like not going out of the door, but perhaps just waiting there. The door is not locked, you can see the deadbolt is not visible in the crack between it and the doorframe. He could step through the door or he could let someone in. Choices. Freedom.

His stage name, RM, is at the bottom. RM, with the lights flooding so brightly on him, we can’t really make out what he looks like. Lights could represent the stage where he’s lived his best life, or the acute attention he has endured because of his stage, both positive and negative.  Perhaps we are not sure what RM looks like anymore? The details have gotten lost in the bright lights. This has been his existence for the last ten years.

The image to the left has what appears to be bullet holes or nail holes in the wall. There are 7 distinct marks with the center one being more pronounced and one or a few less distinct marks. And they are eerily in the shape of a cross. The cross itself is strong symbolism for crucifixion, sacrifice, torture, suffering but also deep faith, passion, redemption and soul-saving. Very interesting. 

The image on the right side is clean of marks and is in shadow. The future that is murky. RM is facing this side of the room. He is looking to the future. Smooth and unblemished except for the wire/rope/string hanging from the ceiling or wall under the word MYSELF. It’s not very noticeable, I had to zoom in to see it. 

Ok, the next set of images:

For the word ENTIRETY, he’s chosen an unadorned san-serif typeface that is clean, sleek and simple. It appears to be similar to a typeface called Akzidenz-Grotesk which was developed in the 19th century by a type foundry in Germany for general purpose use. Practical yet chic. The word is large and spans the three images in this set. 

The other text on the images are in different typefaces. He’s added another element of himself to the equation: Kim Namjoon in Hangul next to RM:  김남준 RM 

Perhaps stating, this is both sides of himself. Kim Namjoon vs RM. 

The diffused lighting appears to be coming in from the right through a large window. 

The images themselves are large contrasting areas of black and white with subtle greys. The center image is the most provocative:

A chair in the center of an area where you might be expected to walk. The area on the other side of the chair is barren, free of obstacles. The chair itself is of the bentwood style of furniture, also 19th century, which originated in  Germany/Austria. A dark jacket is draped across the back of the chair. The owner of the jacket is perhaps making themselves more comfortable...staying a while. There are three books on the chair...at least they appear to be books. 

The books happen to be in the dead center of the 9-image montage. And the titles are: MONO, rkive and Neutral.... We know Mono was RM’s mixtape released back in 2018. The book cover appears to be white. We know rkive as his Instagram handle where he’s shown us so much of what he likes since this past December. That book cover appears to be black. Neutral is new to us. The book cover is a combination of black and white. Could this be the title of his upcoming single/album? Could it just be his state of mind in which he finds himself at the moment? All three books have the BTS logo on the spine as well. 

The left image:

The left image has a big pile of what looks like burned wood logs wrapped in dark colored cord and held together very rigidly. The cord appears very flexible but strong. This object is very close to us in the foreground and crowds out any of the background in our view. Because the logs are dark, almost black, they look like charcoal. Completely burned but intact and ready to burn hotly some more until they turn to white ash. Held together by cord, but if the cord is cut, the support is gone, the logs will crash to the floor and probably crumble apart. We are the cord. We are the support. Army. 

And the right image:

Another pile of charcoal logs tightly wrapped by the cord. Looking at this image and the center image, there appears to be many piles of these logs tied together in the room. A lot of stuff being held together by a lot of strong cord. 

I tried to figure out who the artist is, if anyone knows or has a lead I can investigate, let me know! I am intrigued if the artist in any way is connected to the other elements in these images!

EDIT: I discovered who the artist is, Lee Bae, a Korean artist whose primary material used in their art is charcoal. 

Last set of images!

The typeface he chose for this set is a handwritten script face, perhaps his own handwriting? It is loose, light, free and spontaneous. It also spans the entire three images in this set. Kim Namjoon now appears alone in Hangul: 김남준

No sign of RM here.

It is 김남준 and this is the individual we’ve come to know over the years and who has taught us to go outside and enjoy the simple things in this world like nature, and flowers and fresh air. 

These images look like they were taken in a park, in or near the city as I can see a building peeking through the trees.

The left image:

A lot of picnic tables, a path for walking, lots of trees, lots of warm sunshine and cool shade. Wide open space. Inviting. Timeless. 

The right image:

A park bench to rest. A random person enjoying the day. All simple carefree things. 

The center image:

A large white sheet blocking the view of whatever is on the other side. There is a good length of extra fabric draped across the ground. The way it is thrown over the frame/stand is a slightly haphazard. No attention was paid in making it line up perfectly or fall symmetrically. There is no order, just carefree and spontaneous. Yet it still hides “something”. This is how Namjoon lives when he’s in namjooning mode. Free, yet something still hidden. 

Like I said, I am intrigued. Namjoon’s photo folio concept may not be as sexy as Jungkook’s vampire concept but it screams RM/NAMJOON! And that’s the point of these Photo Folios, to show sides of each member in ways that they’ve chosen.

So, that’s my TED talk today. I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave your evaluations in the comments. Thanks! 

#kim namjoon #RM of bts #bts chapter 2 #bts photo folio concept images #namjooning

[generic-internet-name]

If feel like typing that desire rant I would absolutely read it

ok so. i typed it out a while ago but i don't know where it went so you're just getting some slightly nonsensical scattered thoughts. +stuff that's not really related to desire but other complaints i have(the first few are very rambly don't worry the last few are smaller)(sorry that was a lie they are all very rambly)

i understand why they might make desire use they/them pronouns and more neutral terms(if i'm feeling very generous i think maybe they thought it was bad representation. if i've thought about it too much and i'm mad then i figure it's probably to make it more palatable) but i'm still pissed cause he was literally the only representation i have ever seen of people who use the same pronouns as i. literally in all my time with queer media i've seen representation of so many different identities but never someone using he/she before desire. her gender fuckery was incredible. he was not gay as in happy, but queer as in fuck you. this is something i love about all the queer representation in the sandman comics. there aren't just lesbians, but dykes. there aren't just transgender people, but transsexuals. it was revolutionary for the time it was published(i have more to say on that, see point 3) and it's a distinct "fuck you" to respectability politics.

desire is the antagonist. again, i get why they would've done this, it's hard to have a show without an overarching plot and some major villain. maybe, just maybe have you considered, this story is in comic form because it works best in comic form?(see point 5)that maybe there doesn't need to be an adaptation into a different form of media? that it's alright as it is?(this isn't me complaining that it exists, don't get me wrong. i just think it worked way better as a comic.) in the comics they were in conflict, sure, but not any more than dream was against his other siblings. they're in conflict because they're siblings and that's just how siblings are(especially when they have godlike powers and are immortal)

2a. another benefit of it being a comic, people having funky speech bubbles. dream's voice is just normal and i'm so annoyed about that. reading the comics i imagined his voice with the same sorta quality as john's voice in malevolent, it's a little echoey and distinctly conveys he is not a person. show!dream is just normal. it was cool how all the endless had cool speech bubbles, it was cool how desire's was subtle and delirium was wobbly and colorful, it was cool how despair's was scratchy around the edges, it was cool that there was some contrast in how death's was normal. there's no way to show that same thing in the show.

3. cause i said i'd say this in point 1, time period. i feel like it doesn't work as well set in the modern day. the aesthetics are different. and the politics of it are so much different. it was so powerful to see a character doing a drag show when i knew it was published in 1989, when there were still sodomy laws in the us. it was cool to think about the symbolism of the corinthian, with teeth in his eyes, targeting gay men, killing them when they let him see them, in 1989, when the gay panic defence was still valid in every state. it's not like drag isn't villainized today, and the gay panic defence is still valid in most states, but it feels less impactful.

4. desire is not all sex!! i feel like he was made much more sexual in the show. i want to see desire being more about gender envy(i have so much gender envy for her) i want to see him being jealousy i want to see her being "ooh shiny rock" i want to see him being "that dress is so cool but sooo expensive..."(i feel like i'm overusing the word cool but whatever i'm from california)

5. back to what i mentioned in point 2, i just don't think it works as well in show form. there's too much silence. as a comic there are empty panels, there are slow panels, and they give the impression of space without me having to sit through thirty seconds of silence every time there's a dramatic moment. also there's no narration, which i mainly noticed during the episode he was hanging out with death, cause in the comics dream is narrating all the information about her, so she comes off as very cheerful and energetic, while we also get this information about her. in the show, though, she's monologuing about it, which makes her seem much more sorta contemplative and introspective than in the books.

conclusion: it's a good show objectively but it's not a good adaptation of the comics. i think if everyone who worked on the show got together and made an entirely different show that would be wonderful, but i just don't really like it as it is.

[fancoloredglasses]

It's a Wonderful Scoob (Scooby calls it quits, and so do I!)

[All images are owned by Hannah-Barbara. Please don’t sue me or send any ghosts my way] 

This was the point that I completely gave up on Scooby Doo after watching his antics for over a decade. ‘Nuff said. If you really want to see this, it’s on KissCartoon. You’ve been warned.

We open to the gang driving around some generic mountain road (the Mystery Machine that ain’t)

OK, I’m gonna quickly discuss the changes in the human members of the Scooby Gang for the series. First, can we agree that Daphne’s hairstyle is very 80s? I mean, I’m all for updating characters to suit the times, but...

(Thanks to Hannah-Barbara wiki)

...are you telling me her hairstyle isn’t timeless? Also, what’s up with the blue jumpsuit?

And then there’s Shaggy trading in his green t-shirt for a pink one. Now, I have no issues with guys wearing pink, but in the 80s that meant one thing...and I seriously doubt the writers intended Shaggy to advocate gay rights. I mean, if Shaggy’s going to change his iconic green shirt, I’m sure it would’ve been tie-dye instead of pink.

Anyway, the crystal ball on the dashboard starts ringing and Vincent Price Van Ghoul appears to tell the gang about the ghost they’re hunting this week: Time Slime (Really? That’s the best you can come up with for a name?), who is using a Time Scepter to speed up time to the point that he can conquer the world (sure, that makes sense I guess)

Let’s check in with our Ghost of the Week...

...who looks a lot like Prime Evil

Time Slime speeds up the gang’s van, causing it to crash near the town of...

I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess Time Slime’s hiding out here, and Price van Ghoul calls in to confirm it.

The gang start searching the town for Time Slime when they come across a strange grandfather clock...

...that’s Time Slime in disguise?! Whatever it is, it pulls a lever on itself, opening a trap door on the ground (gotta love cartoon logic), sending the gang plummeting onto a garbage heap. Time Slime then appears, demanding the Chest of Demons. When the gang refuses, Time Slime gestures menacingly, so van Ghoul teleports the gang away.

...well, most of them. Unfortunately, that leaves Scooby at Time Slime’s mercy. Well, second time’s the charm, but unfortunately for Scooby, he somehow winds up with the Time Scepter and it’s wrecking havoc with the spell, sending Scooby into flashbacks. The visions frighten Scooby beyond the breaking point.

“RI QRIT!”

And with that, Scooby runs out of van Ghoul’s office and moves back with his parents.

The animators weren’t very subtle...

While Scooby is trying to de-stress after over a decade of ghosts and monsters...

...Bogul and Weerd, the two ghosts who pretty much latch on to whoever the Ghost of the Week is (and the ones who tricked Scooby into opening the Chest of Demons), show up looking for the Time Scepter (that Scooby left with van Ghoul) Then Mumsy and Dada show up, slamming the door into Weerd and knocking him into Bogul and sending them both out the window (you’d think that ghosts would be intangible)

Then the phone rings (Scooby might be a bit jumpy) Turns out Shaggy’s trying to get Scooby to come back, but Scooby ain’t having any of it.

With Scooby gone (wait, I thought only the one who opened the Chest of Demons could send the ghosts back. Wouldn’t that end the series with Scooby refusing to come back?), Flim Flam has a Cunning Plan on how to continue:

Re-cast Scooby Doo! (wait, what?!)

And so the casting call goes out for a new Great Dane. How hard can it be?

Yeah...

Finally, with a distinct lack of Great Danes showing up to audition (Flim Flam never bothered to mention breed. He just advertised for a dog), they settle on...

...a Saint Bernard named Bernie Gumsher. One issue...

He’s not exactly the “Get Up and Go” type.

Regardless, we begin a new era for the franchise...

Yes, they’re airing the show on the show. You’d think the ghosts would never be caught since they’d just have to turn on the TV to see what the gang is planning.

Kids everywhere (on the show, though I’m sure actual viewers were doing this as well) start turning off their TVs (and if I wasn’t having to review the episode, I would as well), demanding the real Scooby Doo! The crisis is so bad that the President gets involved...

...imploring that Scooby return to duty.

At Mumsy and Dada’s house, Scooby is moved to tears (though he’s still not making any moves to rejoin the gang)

Meanwhile, Time Slime somehow (he turned on the TV) finds out Scooby Doo has retired and plans to move on the gang to get the Time Scepter back.

Time Slime shows up demanding the Chest of Demons or he would destroy the gang. Bernie says he didn’t sign up for being destroyed, but Flim Flam shows him the fine print on his contract. Thirty seconds later...

...Time Slime has the Chest of Demons...

...and the gang is about to get clocked! Bernie questions his career choices.

As Time Slime is about to gain the power of the Chest of Demons and time is about to run out for the gang (can the knight at least hit Scrappy and Flim Flam first?)

...van Ghoul uses the Time Scepter to buy some time for the gang while he teleports to talk some sense into Scooby.

When he arrives, van Ghoul switches the Time Scepter to show Scooby the future...

...where Time Slime turned the world into a post-apocalyptic wasteland within 10 years (wait, 10 years later Scrappy is still a puppy?!)

The years haven’t been as kind to Daphne.

...or Shaggy.

Seeing the fate of the gang steels Scooby’s resolve to un-retire, so van Ghoul deposits him in Time Slime’s lair before the Chest of Demons is opened.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Scooby Doo pissed off before.

Ah, that explains it. He’s hopped up on edibles Scooby Snacks.

Scooby charges into the bell ringer, who instead rings Bogul and Weerd’s bells, sending them flying away.

As well as interrupting Time Slime opening the Chest. Time Slime knocks into the chest, sending it flying into Scooby’s paws (naturally) He then stumbles and trips...

...falling into the Chest of Demons. Crisis averted!

Later, with Bernie retired from the ghost-chasing business, Shaggy laments what would’ve happened had Scooby not returned.

Sadly, the show would continue for another four episodes after this.

#scooby doo #vincent price #casey kasem #Fan Colored Glasses

[nickgerlich]

Dip Your Chip In This

“The yin, the yang, and the bang bang.” That’s one of my favorite quotes, coming from American Flyers, a very early Kevin Costner film, one I am sure he would rather forget. I don’t know about any bang bang in this blog, but I can least vouch for the yang in the aftermath of yesterday’s yin.

Yesterday I rightfully tore into Burger King for using AI just because it could. The chain is crowdsourcing customer input to create three new limited edition Whoppers, and leaning on AI to run and play with it. OK, that’s nice, I suppose, but I am not sure it is going to be enough to propel them past Wendy’s into second place in the burger wars.

And never mind the subtle irony of the result being three standardized items, at a place that prides itself on customization. Or would the winning concoctions merely be suggestions, a starting point to a new Whopper experience?

I think you can understand my lack of enthusiasm.

But I also discovered yesterday that Avocados From Mexico is also using AI, but this time to generate guacamole recipes with its AI tool. This sounds much more user friendly to me, not to mention instantly accessible. Since I rather like making a little homemade guac, I’m always open to new ways of doing an old thing.

Just when you thought, “Hey, don’t we get all of our avocados from California?” we are reminded that Mexican avocados account for 83% overall of all imported avocados, which we rely upon for about nine months of the year. California avocados are only available in summer. In the winter, Mexican avocados hold sway with a 96% share.

The promotion is timed perfectly to coincide with the Super Bowl, a time when dips are party faves. It works rather simply: The user photographs their available ingredients, and the AI takes it from there. So let’s see…avocados (duh), Roma tomatoes, garlic, onions, cilantro, salt, maybe some diced jalapeños…what else could I add?

It’s a good thing there’s AI to do this for us, because if you try to experiment on your own, that mashed avocado will turn brown faster than a windblown tumbleweed on the High Plains can cross the highway.

Of course, there are already plenty of sites with recipes for “alternative guac,” some that look pretty enticing. But if you don’t have time to surf the web, this handy application could save time and make you the genius of the party.

This is not the first time that AI has been used to create recipes on the fly. In fact, it is an extension of earlier applications in which users had to input the ingredients of their fridge into a website, which would then offer possibilities for dinner. But those early examples were typically (and humorously) for those with very few items at all in their fridge, which no doubt stretched the abilities of AI at that time.

I like the avocado campaign. It is not for one brand, but rather represents all the avocado growers in Mexico. It is tough to brand commodity items. Even though there are different varietals of avocados, they are often lumped together in one broad category, unlike apples, which truly have numerous distinctions between offerings.

Were it not for our insistence on having fresh fruits and vegetables year round, this never would have happened. But in the era of relatively free trade around the world, and the ability to ship perishable items long distances and still be sellable, we can enjoy fresh avocados whipped into guac deliciousness all winter long, whether you are a traditionalist or someone willing to take some chances.

And if this campaign helps Mexico sell more avocados, more power to them. This is an AI tool that has year round value, not just on one Sunday in February.

Dr “Pass The Guac, Please! Bang, Bang!” Gerlich

Audio Blog

#marketing #AI #avocados #Mexico

[isekaithatplease]

The Classism, Sexism, and Mishandling of Slavery theme of the Remarried Empress ((pt 1. of why I might divorce the remarried empress series)) WARNING: SOME SPOILERS INSIDE

Note: this story/review was written by someone from the western hemisphere, so yes I am well aware that cultural differences is most likely a definite factor in this. However, this is my opinion on how this series kinda rubs me the wrong way. I will admit that I am behind on the series, and some of the info I got was from spoilers so it might be outdated, as I stopped at episode 85 on webtoons, and read some spoilers, if this is the case, I am prepared to address what I’ve said in a new post ( a reblog of this) to make things more fair.

Ok so I’m gonna do a super quick introduction because anyone, who’s anybody knows the basic premise of one of, if not the most popular manhwas next to WMMAP. It’s a manhwa that essentially has dominated on webtoon, ruled on insta and I think is even set to have it’s own movie/kdrama eventually come out.

Yours truly, was a fan of this series, especially when I got caught up in the tales of hype, and complexity of the story/spoilers, and the beauty of the novel. Like I genuinely liked this series, as the premise was easy to follow, it almost seemed like it was written from a sympathetic villainess’s pov and it just made me a fan, until I wasn’t.

The tales of Navier being an awesome strong female lead in the face of walking dung and his mistress Rashta (affectionately known by fans as Trashta- which hold on I will address that in this) was pretty good at first, until I sat down and actually thought about this series. Now I know you’ll say- hey, hey, hey, this is a manhwa (technically not isekai) why are you actually putting deep thought into this? And I’ll say, well, I have this rule when it comes to fiction.

I (the reader) will only take a series as serious, as the series takes itself. So to elaborate, this means I’m not going to sit down and waste time telling you how certain series does things on a broader or more indepth scale if it’s clearly here for a good time. No, this means that if a story wants me to take it seriously, then, um yeah I am going to do so.

Now, coming back to this series, I’m going to get straight to the point, that might upset some people, because I know there’s probably a lot of cultural differences between the writer of this story, and readers who are located on the western hemisphere, like me. 

But- with all due respect.

Something about this story does NOT sit right with my spirit,

 and it’s mainly the classist narration/the dealing with slavery, with pinches of sexism here and there, but let’s start with the classism.

 This story feels like it’s essentially punching DOWN, like it’s telling the lower class to know it’s place, some were born to rule, others merely to serve/follow orders, and punishing the one person, Rashta, who albeit unethically and under bad circumstances, tries to create a better life for herself by somewhat breaking the social norms by climbing up, terribly. I’m not justifying what Rashta has done, nor am I condoning it, but the complete lack of empathy in the narration of a story that is praised for being complex is....well....disturbing. 

In fact, if I have to be honest with you, I feel nothing but apathy vibes from the tone/way this story was written. There’s a distinct lack of empathy when it comes to the suffering of others, particularly women not named NAVIER, that I think needs to be discussed more, especially when people want to push this series as something that promotes a strong fl, because I think it pushes a strong/independent fl at the expense of some other female characters (don’t believe me- just look at how the fandom so readily vilifies a female character who gets in Navier’s way,). 

Guys like Sovieshu and Heinrey are allowed to have explicitly outlined sympathetic aspects to them, whereas the women’s pov is far more subtle, before they inevitably end up doing something terrible (I’m talking about Rashta and Heinrey’s sister in law). All do terrible things, but I feel more inclined to say that the women who become antagonists in this story are more victims than the guys who willingly perpretate the acts, yet aren’t allowed the same leeway/understanding from the narrative. Get the picture?

Let’s start with the topic of cultural differences, now shall we?

PT 1. The Slavery Discussion and Rashta:

Slavery is no stranger to being apart of isekai, in a lot of stories it’s either added as a footnote to help worldbuilding in a fairly negative way, or it acts as some sort of trauma for the mcs to portray them in a more sympathetic light. But in this story, it’s handled so...strangely. Slavery is very much traumatizing, no matter in which media it is presented, or the purpose/form. The after effects/trauma of slavery is massively understated, and I for one think it should be treated with respect when it comes to playing a major role in a story like this.

The fact that Rashta was a slave who was abused and mistreated is seemingly glossed over a LOT- it is most likely the reason why she is, the way she is. She’s so naïve/willing to go along with Sovieshu’s schemes because she spent her entire life up to that point being treated worse than dirt, and now has to deal with living in constant fear of having to return to that life. She probably doesn’t genuinely know any better, as no one was there to teach her right and wrong, or guide her. That cycle of trauma and abuse is so hard to break, and probably even impossible, given the settings/position she’s in. 

 So she’s unable to protect herself from the schemes of those who’ve been born into the game of politics and power and are coming for her blood in order to exploit her, yet the story tries to play it off as...making her kind of selfish, and evil. 

It’s almost like writing Cinderella or maybe just any slave girl (a girl who spent her life as a slave up until she got married) as some sort of pawn, without any sort of empathy/sympathy for the character from the narrative...could you imagine how heartbreaking that would be? This is pure exploitation, yet it never feels like it’s called out in a long-lasting/meaningful way for you to sympathize with Rashta, or offer the character any sort of leeway/complexity (save for the end when she’s about to be executed but even then it’s too little too late) nah it feels almost like the story is telling you that this is what Rashta deserves, she’s just another cog in the wheel for the haves to use. 

I’m not saying that Rashta is completely innocent in all of this, because yes I will admit, that Rashta is a terrible person, who’s done bad things (albeit some under the bad influence of Heinrey’s friend, and others was just because of her, she’s really not a good person, at ALL)- BUT, she’s ruining others because her life was ruined, it’s probably her way of punching UP, of securing herself in a society that clearly does not want the poor to advance/better themselves. Which as bad as it sounds, isn’t completely inexcusable, given how cutthroat the story likes to play it’s politics as. ((Like look at Navier and how she’s always thinking politically, you could probably try to sell her girl scout cookies, and she’d suspect you of espionage or something))

Even in this elevated position, we see that Sovieshu doesn’t even see Rashta as a person of her own, she’s just...a plaything to him, something he’s using because he feels like Navier isn’t giving him the love he deserves. ((I’ll touch on Navier next part)). The Rashta around him depicts herself as stupid, cute and playful, because she knows that’s what he wants her to be, and there’s high possibility that the moment that he finds out that she’s not that (she’s actually a lot smarter than he thinks), he could very easily dispose of her. That brings me to the worst part of their whole relationship which a lot of fans, and Navier herself seems to miss- the unequal power dynamic-

 The worst part is that he disposes of her, at the end, when it really should’ve been his head on a pike, but alas, she dies and the story doesn’t care because at this point it’s almost like it’s done more to explicitly tell you how terrible she is, than to make you somewhat sympathize with her. ((Keep in mind I’m not saying Navier had to accept Rashta with open arms from day 1, but Navier should’ve 1000% been suspecting foul play in more places than she did. I mean someone who was at most a mistress (coming from slavery, where she was uneducated) was pulling all of these political power moves like Rastha was, should’ve raised some flags for Navier, but eh, whatever I guess. Sovieshu doesn’t really seem to get the punishment he deserves.

Let’s not forget that Rashta can’t exactly say no to Sovieshu’s advances (dude’s the emperor who could have her beheaded for breathing out of her mouth wrong) and like I said before, is literally being manipulated by Heinrey’s friend. It’s sad because I know this story will probably gloss over it (I kinda know the spoilers where he ends up taking away her kids in the end after she’s executed, which is kinda good because at least her children aren’t orphans, but once again it’s just exploitation. Exploitation of a naive women by powerful men- seeing the theme here? Sovieshu uses her against Naiver, and Heinrey’s friend uses her against them both...almost feels like her main purpose is just to be a tool for others (most noticeably MEN) while having no agency of her own...))

You can say that maybe I’m overreacting about this, but like I said before the story likes to take it’s politics/characterization seriously, and I have no doubt that if Navier was a slave- we’d be exploring every traumatic aspect/long term effect of slavery. Everything Navier would be doing would be constantly sympathized with, because the story would recognize that she was a slave, and the cycle of abuse/trauma she’s faced it’s hard to break. Yet the story continually lacks that empathy for most of the female characters, in fact, the story seemingly gets a kick out of pitting women AGAINST each other. Because at the very least the fans do (I need to talk about Heinrey’s sister-in-law, remind me to talk about her for the next part).

 You can argue well it’s just the times, so strong women really shouldn’t be working together, but then I’d say- um, no. If this story wants me to suspend enough belief that magic exists, Navier feels no remorse about breaking social standards (and being able to get away with it too) while being the main ruling force of the empire behind the scenes, with some fairly outspoken female characters- then I could totally buy the strong women working together, even in unconvential means. In fact, it’s kinda frustrating that Rashta spends the whole story getting manipulated by powerful men for their own means and she never wakes up/develops from it. Hmmm, that’s kinda...suspicious to me...

Honestly-

The fact that magic exists in this world, but Slavery is still around is just....wow, sure it’s a form to punish you for not paying off debts- but I fail to see how that works, when Rashta’s debt ridden father was able to get away from it by selling off someone else, it’s a blatant loophole that even the poorest of the poor can escape, with little consequence. What’s the point of having that system if it apparently doesn’t even work right? I think it’s almost too severe, and stupid given how many loopholes the story glosses over.

Maybe Navier isn’t that kind of an empress, why exactly has she never pushed for the elimination of slavery/increase of human rights? We know that she’s the one who’s wearing the real political pants in her empire, and the administration seems to be fine with this, as we never hear them complain. Also we’ve seen her gladly sponsor someone from the magic school, which was, a fairly expensive school, and I think the girl was from a fairly good background, unless I’m mistaken, maybe she was poor, but she had to be exceptionally good to get it. ((I’m choking on the classism here)). So it’s not like she’s going out of her way to benefit the massive underprivileged class of her empire, I kinda wonder if she knows they exist (save for the time they kind of rightfully grill her for running off to go marry the prince of the enemy empire, which sure she had her reasons for it, but I doubt the peasants would know/care about the full story, not when they have slavery and God knows what else dark ages problems to deal with).

Navier’s face when she hears the lower class cry for food. They should’ve thought about that before they became peasants!

You could also argue that this slavery isn’t exactly similar to the form of slavery in the west (which I would answer that there were other forms of slavery before the one that notoriously evolved in the western hemisphere, that were still socially degrading)- but once again, like I’m saying, if you’re going to base something off of a thing that has had traumatic/degrading long term effects socially, you should treat it with respect or don’t write it at all. I feel like there was either a blatant lack of research, or care when it was written into Rashta, which honestly would’ve been ‘fine’, if the story didn’t really try to antagonize a traumatized character while it later on tried to paint the narcissistic sexist Soviedung as complex, or sympathetic. Heck, I’m pretty sure the story is going to try to make Heinrey somewhat complex/sympathetic for trying to sabotage the empire while Navier was trying to run it! Yet Rashta doesn’t get a pass until it’s too late....

It’s like the story hates the underprivileged, which, is actually kinda funny to me.

If a westerner had tried to write something like this, it would be rightfully called out. So I’m not making any full exceptions here. You can argue that yeah cultural difference here is one thing, and I’ll say, alright, fine, fair. But then I’ll say, doesn’t it seem sexist to you that at the end the female character is seemingly more villainified/suffers more than the male character (who keep in mind is the main perpetrator) yet the story never seems self aware to call this out? So at best it’s probably just innocent ignorance, and at worst it’s just kinda sexist.

Protecting the women who you’ve been low key politically sabotaging so you can take over her empire be like:

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that slavery shouldn’t/can’t be used in fiction, but the way how the series fails to empathize with an obviously traumatized person from slavery but painting her the way it does, is just....wrong...

ESPECIALLY because the story literally tries to become a contortionist in order to make Sovieshu more sympathetic the last second. Why does Sovieshu get to have something of a redemption arc/sympathy when Rashta doesn’t??? It’s giving me classist, and low key sexist. 

#remarried empress #navier #heinrey #sovieshu #rashta

[pinkandblueblurbs]

ok fr this time. idk if your are taking smut reqs but if you are could i request a sirius x reader one where they are newlyweds and they are having sex for the first time as a married couple.

maybe include a praise kink and a breeding kink if you don't mind <3

anything for u kimber 🤩 thanks for everything baby ily!! (Also i took this as like first time as a married couple ie they had sex before but this is just special bc they’re married? so sorry if that isnt what u meant lol). Also i kinda hate how this turned out oops im sorry-

Sirius Black x Fem!Reader. Marriage, penetrative sex, praise kink, breeding kink, smut w feelings, no degradation, dirty talk, light d/s. Not Proofread

word count: 1.2k

You rush into your bedroom after what is surely one of the best days of your life, lips locked with your now husband’s as he pushes the door closed behind both your stumbling forms.

The lavish gown and expensive tux you both don are soon discarded as if they’re nothing, left in a forgotten heap on the floor as your mouths envelope one another and your hands wander each other’s warm, familiar bodies. You feel the subtle indentations of Sirius’s abs and ribs, the barely there swell of his pecks, the toned expanse of his broad shoulders- the touch and taste of him is all encompassing, exacerbated by the fact that you are now wed, and that today has been a day entirely centered on your love.

He’s quickly guiding you over to the bed, laying you out beneath him and draping his body over yours, his mouth migrating from the pillows of your lips to the curvature of your jaw, and from there down your neck, hitting all the tender spots he knows will draw out pretty whimpers and moans.

“You’re fucking perfect.” He breathes against your skin, lifting his head to look down at you, grey eyes darkened with lust. You arch your back, inviting his hand to find the soft mound of your breast and knead gently at the flesh.

You mean to repay his compliment, but when he gently rolls your nipple between his fingers all that escapes your parted lips is a moan; a moan that he promptly swallows as he leans down and reconnects his mouth to yours.

You’re overcome by Sirius’s distinct flavor, and your head swims with the mingling lust and adoration that swell within you. His hand travels down from your breast, travels to the apex of your thighs where one digit parts your folds and caresses your wet slit. You gasp into his mouth at the sensation, coaxing a soothing shushing sound from his lips.

“That feel good, pup? You like that?” He murmurs- more tender than taunting tonight, intensifying your fondness- as he starts slow circles on your clit. You nod wordlessly, language escaping you as subtle sparks of pleasure burst on your sensitive button.

“Good girl” he breathes out, voice near a coo, dilated eyes concentrating on your enraptured visage as he toys with your clit. “Always so good for me. Gonna take me so well, aren’t you?”

“Yes Siri.” Your hands move up from the mattress at your sides to trail over his body; starting at his slender hips and moving over his abdomen, finally coming to rest splayed over his chest, his skin warm and his toned musculature firm.

“That’s right” Sirius murmurs, hand leaving your clit to find his cock, positioning it at your waiting entrance. You whimper as you feel the blunt tip at your hole, clenching instinctually in anticipation of his first thrust.

You are surprised, however, when it breaches you gently, Sirius’s pace slow as he pushes inside you, allowing you to relish in the the slight stretch and feel every ridge and vein of his shaft. You let out a soft, long moan in time with the slow sheathing, eyes trained on your husband’s. You’ve never felt closer to him- the two of you have had sex countless times, but the events of the day, the build up of emotions you’ve both experienced makes this time feel entirely different. More intimate, more meaningful, you feel more connected- and it all only adds to the pleasure of the moment.

“Fuck- that feels so good” he grits out above you, brows furrowed in ecstasy as he feels your walls fluttering around his length. “Such a good girl for me, doll.” 

“Move Siri, please” is all you can manage to say, the words barely coming out as your lungs lack the air necessary to speak above a whisper. Sirius hears you, fortunately, and soon he’s languidly drawing his hips back, his cock retreating from your channel before pushing back in slowly, deeply. You moan as his head sponges over your g-spot, pure bliss taking over your senses. 

His thrusts are unhurried, the both of you content to bask in the sensation for as long as possible, drinking in one another’s proximity as his balmy form hovers above yours. His lips find your neck once more, kissing and sucking and licking and pulling gentle sounds from your lips that spill out between the more intense moans that his thrusts coax from you.

“Taking me so well, puppy. Gonna take my cum too, hm? Gonna let me fill ya up?” His breath tickles the shell of your ear, the raspy puffs of air that are his words fueling the flames of arousal that grow rapidly in your belly.

“Yes, Sirius, I need it. Need you to fill me up.”

“Yeah? My pretty wife, so eager to have my babies, aren’t ya? Can’t even wait longer than the wedding night” while the words are mocking his voice lacks his usual severe scorn, making them more teasing than anything. You do not hesitate to agree. 

“I want nothing more than to have your children-oh fuck- to make you a father. You’ll be such a good father” your heart warms at the thought of raising children with Sirius, of making a family with him, and it only further drives your desire to have him breed you. 

You reach up to pull him down by his neck, desperate to have his lips on yours and taste him once more. The kiss is sloppy and passionate, a tangible form of your love and lust and every other complex emotion you both feel.

It is all enough to send you over the edge, the delicious drag of his cock along with the intense adoration of his being that you experience sending you hurtling into rapture. You let out a long, lewd moan, your hands gripping his shoulders tightly as your cunt spasms in a similar vice-like hold.

Despite your euphoria you do not miss the unmistakable signs of Sirius’s nearing release- the way his hips stutter, how his low grunts spill into your mouth at increasing intervals.

“Give it to me, Siri” you gasp out, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck as your back arches, the male pulling back enough that he can look into your eyes.

“‘M gonna fill you up puppy, fuck” the last word is a low growl as his hips snap forward one last time, driving his cock deep inside your cunt as he cums. You moan at the sensation- the feeling of his warm, thick seed spilling into you and painting your sensitive inner walls deeply erotic, especially coupled with the idea of it eventually growing into his child.

“Good girl” he breathes out, chest heaving above you, before he leans down to smear a sweet, tender kiss to the swell of your cheekbone. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Sirius.” You murmur, the corners of your lips tilting up in a blissful smile as you gaze up at your husband’s handsome visage. Your chest tightens with joy as he mirrors your expression.

“I can’t wait to start our family.”

tags: @snapesdaughsjm @kyleed24 @woman-with-no-name @barneswidow @randomoutsiders @fandom-puff @spxllcxstxr @frecklesandfirecrackers @wholebigboxofyikes @fific7 @sunrisefairy @pandaxnienke @weasleyposts @mypainistemporary @amourtentiaa @drachoesimp @st0nesnglitter @quindolyn @fjorelaant @hoes4dameron @wh0reforthemarauders @shadesofvelma @i-love-scott-mccall @maybanksslut @crystal-dee @sprucewoodlover  @emmaev @padfootswife @lillsthoughts @kermiemoon @abbott27 @elizabethrosedarling @lilypad-55449 @wh0reforthemarauders @riddikulusweasleys @ashesandstars @lexlupin-black @saintlike78 @pretty-pop-princess-hs

#sirius black #sirius black x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fanfic #sirius black imagine #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders imagine #sirius black smut

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

M-more armin vs eren drabbles please

WC: 3.2k

Title: Melted Candles

Warnings: possessive behavior, cheating, armin x reader x eren, obsession, unhealthy relationships. manipulator armin & toxic eren.

You’re fidgeting with the hem of your short dress that your loving boyfriend bought you, nursing a drink, and half-heartedly scrolling through your phone.

Sitting on the olive couch alone as the musings of a party transpire, you eye the big and colorful banner sporting the words “Happy 20th Birthday Eren!”.

“It’s like Eren to be late to his own birthday party huh?”

A smooth, gentle voice breaks you out of your trance. You turn sideways to face Armin Arlert, a pretty boy with short-cropped blond hair and wide oceanic eyes. He’s all dressed up in a deep grey turtleneck, navy dress pants, and an expensive Omega watch on his wrist.

You must have looked frightened because he chuckles as he takes a seat next to you, a respectful distance away, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you. Are you having fun?”

“Uh well it’s a surprise party, it’s not like Eren knows he’s supposed to be here.” You have an immediate desire to slap a hand over your mouth after the words spillover. You wince, not entirely in love with the fact that it was your first instinct to defend Eren.

If you had been more observant, you would have noticed the corners of his lips flick upwards in amusement. But Armin is observant enough for the both of you. He notes the color of embarrassment in your cheeks and continues the subject with ease.

“Ah, yeah. That’s right. Eren hates celebrating his birthday, but they're always a good excuse to get everyone together" He pauses before grinning so wide it doesn't look genuine, "-maybe this is more for us than him.”.

There’s an underlying tension in his words you can’t make heads and tails off. It reminds you of how truly little you knew of Eren's very own best friend.

You smile brightly, channeling all the optimism you could into changing the topic: “Everyone’s trying their best today! Sasha did all the catering and managed to leave the cake perfectly alone even though it’s her favorite flavor. She has the patience of a saint today.”

As if on cue, there’s a commotion in the background. Jean yells at Sasha, “Don’t finish all the lemon-pepper wings Potato Girl!”

Armin laughs and it's a pretty sound, a sound that reminds you of a bell chime. Unconsciously, he shifts closer to you, knees knocking into yours.

“Yeah, you’re right. Connie's even hosting it, and he let us decorate his man cave."

You look at the streamers and balloons, and Armin follows your eyes.

“You did a great job decorating.”

You blush, “It was honestly a team effort. Mikasa did way more, I promise.”

“So humble”, he teased. As he smooths his slacks, your eyes can’t help but fall on the shine of the silver band on his slender finger, an engagement ring.

“Annie couldn’t make it today?” There’s a flash of a grimace on his face but he schools his features right away.

“She doesn’t really like parties,” he laughs softly, “She’s like Eren in that way.”

“Oh,” you paused. He was clearly hiding something but it wasn’t in your place to pry. You didn’t know much about Annie. In fact, you were a little intimidated by her icy demeanor and arctic eyes. It amused you at first when you learned she was Armin’s partner.

Opposites must attract, because where Annie was the cold seeping into your bones, Armin was a furnace radiating warmth.

There wasn’t much more to say with the conversation heading to a peaceful silence, until his arms lightly touch yours, “I’m really glad you came.”

His fingertips graze the sleeve of your dress.

You flush, “Well, I wouldn’t be a very good girlfriend if I didn't come to his birthday party.”

The pretty blond clicks his tongue, “I suppose.” He inhales, thumbs swiping the rim of his glass, “You’re too good for him. Do you know that?”

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You don’t have a response ready but Armin continues, “I love Eren of course. Been friends with him since we were children but-” Deep sigh, “I feel like I barely know him anymore. No one knows him anymore.”

In a small voice, you squeak “I do.” But the unsureness of your tone made your words seem like it was a question.

Armin smiles, one that’s filled with mirth.

Boldly, he squeezes your thigh, the flesh right below where your dress ends, “You deserve better.” His oceanic eyes seem darker under the dim lighting.

Why weren’t you moving away? Were you letting his hand itch closer to roaming the softness underneath silky fabric?

You swivel your head around, praying no one is seeing anything. Thankfully everyone was too swept up in their own conversations. As if to soothe you, his hands draw circles on the soft pliant skin, “Don’t worry, no one can see us.”

The ring glints harshly. Admittedly, Eren’s soft-spoken best friend is just a little attractive. You didn’t always think to see him this way, but Armin changed, and all the general anxiety he possessed matured into a quiet confidence.

He reminds you of Eren in that way. But still, you're at crossroads here. Is Armin making a move on you? Is he warning you? Should you even be here right n-

Your internal monologue is interrupted by Mikasa clapping her hands, and then putting a finger on her lips, “We’re going to turn off the lights, ok? They’ll be here in a few minutes. When Eren starts coming in, yell surprise.” Armin hand’s leave your legs, the warmth gone.

“Oy, oy, oy. Don’t we need a signal?” Connie asks, confusion apparent on his face.

“Jesus Connie, if you can’t even figure this out, what are we going to do with you?” quips Jean.

Mikasa shakes her head.

Sasha lightly punches her best friend, “It’s okay Coomer, just follow my lead.”

“How will that work since you’re stupider than me?” The hazel eyed boy asks, voice dripping in concern. “Eh?” Sasha replies with an equally concerned tone.

Mikasa pinches the bridge of her nose, “I’m going to turn the light off now.”

Eren would be here soon. You barely register Armin putting his arm around the couch, not around you per se, but the proximity was close enough to send your heart racing.

In the switch of a light, the room was engulfed in darkness and excited giggles that Mikasa promptly hushed. And then was just the sound of breathing. You could hear yours and you could hear Armin’s.

Softly, the blond uttered, “I’m going to do something I’ve always wanted to do.” You could feel featherlight fingers tilting your jaw, and capturing your pillowy lips.

The doorknob rattled. Soon after, light from the hallway trickled in. A still moment. As soon as the kiss started, it ended. A flash of light exploded before your eyes and a cacophony of people yelling Surprise! rang out.

At the center of attention was Eren Yeager, who...did not look surprised at all. His eyes were not even adjusting to the light the way yours was. A tall redhead accompanied him, someone who you vaguely recognize as Floch.

The birthday boy was clad in a white button-up, sleeves rolled to his elbows and the top button was unfastened. His dress pants were slim-fitting and black.

The green-eyed boy’s face was devoid of expression. In comparison to his stoic nature, you thought your heart was going to explode.

Wryly Armin says, “Oh look, your boyfriend has arrived.” As if on cue, Eren’s eyes locked with yours.

At that moment, there were too many things to process.

Luckily, Eren was surrounded by a small crowd of his closest friends. You could hear Jean cackle, “Come on! You’re not even surprised.”

You turned your head to face the boy who took advantage of the darkness, a scarlet blush staining your face, “Why did you-?!”

He gazed at you with shining eyes like he had found clarity, not even bothering to feign guilt. With agility only he had, he took your palm in his, “I know you used to like me.”

Blood rushing in your ears, you tear your hands “What are you doing? Eren’s right there. Don’t touch me.” You hissed, scooting away for good measure.

“You didn’t deny what I said.” The blond pointed out calmly, “Yeager is no good for you. He keeps you in the dark about his life and he’s certainly not loyal..”

“I-I can’t deal with this. I never expected this from you Armin.” You shot up from the couch, trepidation filling your nerves, “Now if you excuse me, I’m going to greet my boyfriend.” You uttered the last word with as much hostility you could muster.

Mikasa had her arms wrapped around Eren. Which was fine. They’re best friends. They’ve known each other far longer than you knew him. He thinks of her as a sister.

He thinks of her as a sister.

You walked over, looming behind them. Most of the crowd had dispersed, with only Eren and the Ackerman girl lost in their own world.

What is wrong with you? You scold yourself. You didn’t usually think like this.

“[Y/N]”

Eren noticed you right away, and Mikasa turned around to face you.

“Sorry [y/n], didn’t mean to take so much of his time from you.” The dark-haired girl smiled apologetically.

You could feel guilt gnaw at you, how could you ever suspect her? She waved to Eren, and warmly thanked you, “You did so much of the planning. Thank you.” And before you could reply, she left.

That left you alone with the man himself. “Hi.” You said shyly. He smirked, “Hi babe. Long time no see huh.”

His viridian eyes slowly roamed your appearance, head to toe. You blushed under his stare as they paused longer than necessary on the dip of your neckline, and the expanse of legs not covered by the silk dress.

“So you did all this?” He teased, vaguely gesturing to the string lights, and hanging paper flowers.

He steps closer to you until he’s just a breath away. “Hardly. Just helped out wherever I could.” You whisper.

He hugs you, his tall frame enveloping yours. You feel so safe, pressed against his chest, as his arms compass the slight of your back.

His cologne is your favorite. Subtle, and intoxicating with thick notes of spice. You sniff something else, something overpoweringly distinct.

Still enclosed in his arms, you look up to him, “Did you drink?”

He takes a step back, still wrapping an arm to your waist, “I met up with Zeke. He offered me a drink.”

“Zeke?” You questioned, “You visited your brother?”

Eren was privy to sharing details about his life and you knew virtually next to nothing about Zeke, his half-brother he came recently in contact with.

He kisses the top of your head, and you can feel the loose strands that escaped his bun tickle your face, “It’s nothing to worry your pretty little head about.”

He keeps you in the dark about his life.

“You were cozying up with Armin on that couch, weren’t you?” His tone is light, containing a thinly veiled accusation.

You laugh it off, hoping he wouldn’t notice how tense you suddenly got, “No, no. We were just talking. I was sure I was going to kill myself out of boredom just waiting for you.”

Snuggling closer to him, you stand on your tippy-toes to kiss his jawline, trying to distract him from wavering thoughts.

“Oh?” He asked, “Armin wasn’t entertaining you well enough? Well, he does have a tendency to babble about nothing.”

As he talked, you had a feeling he wasn’t really looking at you, but rather peering straight behind you.

An uneasy feeling fills your lungs, “Um Eren, let’s head to the kitchen. I can fix you a plate. Niccolo did the catering so you know it’ll be really good-”

The tall boy waved your suggestion away, “Not hungry. In fact, why don’t we head over to my best friend? I haven’t talked to him in a while.” You didn't appreciate the mocking lilt in his tone.

Before you could dissuade him, he was already pulling your wrist so you could turn, hand placed on the small of your back, leading you somewhere you definitely did not want to go.

The charming blond was still situated on the couch but this time joined by a woman who was talking rather animatedly. You vaguely recognized her by her chin-length wavy ash-colored locks. Hitch.

“-Annie is so lucky! Jesus, I can’t believe you guys are engaged! And Marlowe still hasn’t worked up the nerve to-”

Eren coughed, asserting his presence. Two pairs of eyes flitted upwards. Hitch sighed dramatically, “Well if it isn’t the birthday boy. The big 2-0. You’re not a teen anymore Yeager. Think you’re ready for the adult world?”

Your boyfriend, who was never one for false pretenses and small talk, ignored her question entirely, “Hello Hitch. If you don’t mind, I would like to catch up with Armin here.”

The woman rolled her eyes, “Guess that’s my cue to leave.” As she stood up, she looked back and forth between the boys, noting the animosity that seemed to permeate the air as they burned holes into each other.

“Why are the vibes so tense? The energies you two are radiating...is reminiscent of a pissing contest”

Without really intending to, you let out a chuckle, attracting the attention of the three people around you.

Hitch’s eyes softened, “[Y/n], I haven’t seen you in a minute. Let’s go do shots with Mina and Hanna.”

Eren’s grip on you tightened, “She’s staying right here Hitch. Enjoy yourself though”

“Funny, I don’t recall asking you. Your girlfriend can’t speak for herself?”

“Uhm, thanks for the offer Hitch but no thank you, I’m not really in the mood to drink right now.” You chuckle nervously, flashing a big enough smile that will ascertain that everything is okay.

Hitch shrugs, “Suit yourself”, and proceeds to walk away.

“Well, I suppose I have to thank you for driving her away. She’s quite...talkative.” Armin breaks the silence. He addresses you both but his eyes are trained on you, “Back already [y/n]?” An easy smile spreads across his face.

You don't look at Eren’s face to gauge his reaction, but you notice how the hand around your waist squeezes almost painfully. The boys stand up to shake hands. Armin gestures for the two of you to sit but the dark-haired boy waves it away, “We prefer to stand.”

The blond gazes between the two of you questioningly but seemingly accept Eren’s response, “Okay then. Guess I’ll stand too.”

“Where’s Annie? Trouble brewing in paradise?”

Armin’s smile hardens, “Don’t know how you’d assume that. She’s just not here.”

Unease pinpricks at you. You could feel trepidation in the air.

“What a shame. Doesn’t Annie like me?” Eren taunts before delivering a line you didn’t expect, “I recall a time where she liked me much more than you actually.”

Surprise is an understatement for how you feel. You didn’t even want to register the implication of his statement. Did Eren and Annie have a past? You lightly touch Eren’s arm in a hint of a warning, “Eren-”

The blond shakes his head, “You’re really something else, you know? Talking about another woman so brazenly in front of your girlfriend? Are you projecting your insecurity onto me since you know” he tilts his head in your direction, “[y/n] liked me first?”

You fluster immediately, jaw-dropping slightly. It was true. You did have a rather big crush on the intelligent blond boy who sat next to you in a class that bored you to sleep. But there was nothing between you two beyond a handful of platonic study dates from when you were freshmen!

Too many moving variables. He was dating Annie and not being the homewrecker type, tried to squash the interest you had. Besides, you were planning to drop that class anyways, and in a twist of fate, it was Armin who had inadvertently introduced you to Eren.

Also, how did that damn Arlert know and why was he bringing it up today of all days?!

Your boyfriend sneers, “Does that really matter when she’s with me? When she’s dating me. And. Not. You.” He punctures the last words out.

“Uhm, I’m right here-” You finally find your voice, “And I’m not really comfortable with being discussed like this.”

Armin’s eyes find yours, “Of course. Sorry [Y/n]. It’s super disrespectful of me-”

Eren cuts in with words heavier than bullets, “Shut the fuck up. Always desperate to play the white knight in shining armor aren’t you? Your duplicity makes me sick.”

As if sensing an oncoming attack, Eren pivots away from you, creating some distance.

Armin closes the gap between himself and the dark-haired boy and bunches Eren’s collar in his fist, “You don’t know how to treat people, you know that? So full of yourself that you think basic decency has an ulterior motive.”

Eren’s eyes dance with mirth, “There’s always an ulterior motive with you, isn’t there though?”. He forcefully shoves his friend, sending Armin stumbling a few steps backward, “You really like pretending you’re one of the good guys when your hands are blood-stained like the rest of us.

You can hear the blood rushing in your ear and you attempt to get in the middle of the impending conflict but Eren grabs your arm with a painful force. He growls,“Step back”. You obey.

“Don’t touch her touch like that.” Armin snarls.

“She’s my fucking girlfriend. I’ll touch her however I want. By the way, just because your little fiance is giving you a hard time doesn’t give you the right to leer at what’s mine.”

At this point you realize you come to your senses, and you leave the area quickly to get help. You scan the area around looking for Mikasa. She’s reliable and always knows what to do. You try to calm your panicked heart.

Gaining speed, you nearly fall by running into someone in the long hallway. Thankfully, the good samaritan is able to catch you in time, holding your shoulders in a firm but comforting grip.

You look up, eager to thank the man who caught you. Mullet. Tall. Slight scruff at the chin. You recognize him right away.

“Woah y/n, what are you running for?” He asks in amusement but one look at your teary eyes has him instantly concerned, “Hey, hey. Are you okay?”

“I-uh,” You’re blubbering, “Armin and Eren are acting kinda strange--I think Mikasa should calm them down.”

Jean’s eyebrows are furrowed, “Strange how? She stepped out so she’s not here right now.” You bite your lips, wondering how you were going to explain the situation.

Jean grabs your shoulder, “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll settle this. Can you take me to them?”

You nod, supremely grateful to have Jean in your corner. As you guys take a turn to the living room, you hear the excruciating sound of glass breaking. “Shit!” Jean curses.

In the middle of the living room stood Eren and Armin like centerpieces, beating the ever-living shit out of each other. You couldn’t see much beyond the fact Armin was throwing punches left and right, landing some but Eren was able to dodge most.

As you move to run forward, Jean grabs you, “No. Stop. There’s glass everywhere. You’re going to get hurt.”

You’re incredulous, “I can’t just let them hurt each other!”

Jean merely looks at you with a look of pity,

#armin arlert fanfic #armin arlet x you #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager x you #eren jeager x reader #armin and eren fight over you #attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan fanfiction #tw manipulation #tw gaslighting #tw fighting #manipulator armin

[supercantaloupe]

nearly forgot BUT whenever you feel like it i would like to see your thoughts about damon daunno curly & sean grandillo curly 💛

okay prefacing this by saying this is NOT about their voices. we all know no one else in theater right now can sing like damon daunno. this post is about acting. this also has nothing to do with the fact that sean grandillo doesn't actually have curly hair i'm overlooking that for now

there's such a distinct difference between their portrayals of the character. in simple terms it feels like damon daunno's curly is more charming while sean grandillo's curly is more calculating. it's kind of a subtle difference between them in any given moment, but it adds up a lot over the course of the whole show. and ultimately i think it works MUCH better for curly to be charming, not for the sake of enjoying the performance but for the message that the show is trying to tell

more explanation under the cut bc this is long

(i think it's also distinct enough to be heard through audio alone; if you haven't seen or heard both portrayals and want to compare them i think it's worth listening to some audios from broadway and the tour, though of course the comparison is clearest if you've seen both them as i have)

so curly is the main character of oklahoma!; i wouldn't say he's the protagonist (i would reserve that narrative role for laurey), but he is the first guy we meet and identify with as audience members, and the guy we initially come to root for most. in more traditional productions of ok!, he's a straightforward manly hero. the revival clearly casts a shadow of doubt on this, since the use of silence, darkness, and the changed ending reveal a dark side to curly that, while always present in the text, was never fully explored or exposed until now. i can't in good conscience call the curly of 2019's oklahoma! a hero, watching him very plainly intimidate, suicide bait, and ultimately murder another man (and for what? a girl?).

so curly is no longer a hero; he's morally gray. now we have to ask, why do we let this happen? why do we let such a man as curly get away with being such a bully? why do we let him walk free after committing murder?

here's where the difference between the two actors comes into play, imo. i believe damon's curly is far more compelling than sean's because his performance offers a greater contrast between a likeable hero and a detestable villain.

to me, sean's curly lacks a certain sweetness and charm that is necessary to making curly in 2019's oklahoma! work. he's confident and coolheaded, sure, but every move he makes feels calculated. when he sings about the surrey to laurey and tells her he "made it all up, right outta my head," he sounds like he'd planned that from the beginning to tease her. when he asks her to marry him, right after making a big show of spending all his money (and losing his means of making more as a cowboy) for her, he sounds like he's asking as much if not moreso out of self interest than out of genuine affection. the overall effect is a curly who is less heroic and sympathetic throughout, and more questionably moral, perhaps more selfish, certainly less likeable in an unqualified sense.

damon's curly is completely different. he carries himself with confidence and ease, yes, but he feels more spur-of-the-momen and playful. he gets knocked off his high horse more (so to speak); when he lies about the surrey and says he made it up, it sounds more defensive, like he's trying to save face after laurey sees through his posturing. when he asks for her hand, he sounds genuinely hopeless and frightened, not just because he's broke and jobless, but because he can't imagine going on from here without her. he sounds like a man who's desperately in love. and crucially, he's a man the audience can fall in love with, too.

(the romantic chemistry between each actor's curly and their respective laureys is beyond the scope of this post, but if you want my two cents, i think the lighting does a lot more heavy lifting in the tour to sell their mutual attraction than the broadway production did, which was more emphatic rather than persuasive.)

the effect from this is that, as an audience member, i am more primed to sympathize with damon's curly than sean's in any given scenario; sean's curly makes me wary and wonder what he'll do next, damon's curly convinces me to come along with him for whatever ride may entail.

this is not to say it's necessarily bad or worse to have a main character be unlikeable; that works in a story built for it. but the oklahoma! revival is about making you uncomfortable, making you question things, making you wonder who is worthy of trust or blame or guilt. in the end, damon's curly is more shocking, and makes us question more, precisely because he is so charming and loveable from the get go.

consider the smokehouse scene: this is the first moment we see a new side of curly, one that isn't sweet and charming. he's calmly aggressive and intimidating and uncaring. he tells a man how wonderful it would be if he killed himself, and it seems for a moment like jud is convinced. i am willing to argue that curly's bullying of jud here is the catalyst for everything tragic that happens in act ii -- jud bidding so aggressively in the auction, and being so desperate with laurey that he almost assaults her, and finally orchestrating his own death by curly's hand at the wedding -- it's all curly's fault, ultimately. that is so much more difficult to reconcile as an audience member when curly is a lovable, charming young fellow for every other moment he's onstage.

when sean's curly goes up against jud, it feels planned, premeditated, in character. when damon's curly goes up against jud, it comes out of nowhere, it's shocking and unsettling. and we have to face the fact that we've been supporting a man who resorts to violence to get what he wants this whole time. and then we think, how is that different from jud? why did jud deserve to die while curly got the girl? is it because he's handsome and charming and smooth talking?

how many villains have we mistaken as heroes because of their appearance? how many heroes have we condemned as villains for the same reason? can we even call one man a villain and another a hero without ignoring or missing important parts of who they really are?

2019's oklahoma! asks us to consider how tragedies like this happen, and what role we play in them. (this point is made even more strongly in the broadway production, where the in-the-round and onstage seating and communal meal allowed the audience to literally become a part of the in-fiction community as the actors were.) we are responsible for jud's unavenged death and we are responsible for letting a killer walk free because, like the rest of the territory folks, we looked at curly and were charmed by him enough to overlook his aggressive tendencies, and we looked at jud and determined him an outcast unworthy of sympathy.

curly simply must be charming, trustworthy, deceptively sympathetic, and intensely so, for this tension to be most effective. we have to love him from the start, so by the end of act i we're confused, and by the beginning of act ii we forget and love him again, and by the finale we're punched in the gut.

#oklahoma! #sasha answers #dorsalfin #ey thanks! sorry this is long lmao. i can back up my opinions with bway/tour audio clips as desired #curly mclain #damon daunno #sean grandillo #oklahoma revival #oklahoma tour #oklahoma 2019 #sasha reviews

[fiendishpal]

hii fiend!!! i literally adore your art its so pretty and it- it just- *inhales* *exha-*💞💖✨💞💖✨💞🙏🛐🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️anyways so- bcz u guided me to the osaaka ship and now im in love w it couldya please offer me some fic recommendations? ok, i just love ur art ur one of ny faves lov u have an amazingly sweet and beautiful day!!! :D

sure thing!!

i’ll put them by category here (i also have some art for some of them, i’ll post them when i’ve got the time)

i’ve put a star ★ beside fics that i’ve read a bunch of times hahaha!

canon-compliant

(fics that i think you should read first. mostly canon-compliant. so these are post-timeskip. after their meeting at the black jackals vs adlers game. these really won’t make any sense if you’re anime-only, sorry.)

stay with me go places by sparksandsalt ★

this fic. THIS FIC!!!!! this started everything for me!!! this is the reason why i started shipping osaaka!!!! the way they handled the characters is sooooo!!! *chef’s kiss* they really stick true to the characters' voices and the care they put into characterizations is impeccable. i also love bokuto and akaashi’s relationship here!! they’re so in each other’s lives that bokuto ends up exposing akaashi’s feelings indirectly and accidentally lmao and also atsumu and osamu’s relationship is so funny and hilarious. they are like how brothers are, atsumu showing his support but also clowning osamu in the process

this fic single-handedly fueled me to create so much osaaka content.

i dont know how many times i’ve read this tbh

wait by sanguinedawns

i love the yearning in this fic. the longing and the waiting and the expectation there. they’re trying to be subtle about their feelings for each other but they’re seen at the end but at 4k it’s narrated so smoothly. i love mutually pining idiots.

in the afternoon by yamaboto

this is so!!! i love this so much!! at 1k we see osamu yearning for akaashi once again. i love how they write this short scene. i could really picture the afternoon light coming in through the traditional panel doors and how the light must feel on your skin. 

take what we love inside by yamaboto

this is an established relationship osaaka and how they got together. in the afternoon (the fic above) is a snippet of how warm the writer could put words together. and it really is so sweet there’s a scene where they slow dance and it’s the best. i also love the simple fact that they put in how osamu cannot let anybody go hungry hhaha 

shout softly by lostsunsets

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS MADE MY HEART FEEL SO LIGHT AND SOFT AND TENDER. THIS FIC IS SO PRECIOUS OH MY GOSH

i love love loooooooove how the author put osamu's love and passion for food and filling in the pieces on what osamu does to fuel this passion --while in the back burner-- while he was still playing volleyball in high school

AND HOW HE LONGS FOR AKAASHI. THIS IS MAKING ME AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

GO READ IT PLEASE

we’re in au territory

(the setting is not canon-compliant)

sleeping with the enemy by billionairevolleyboysclub ★ 

the setting is in 2013 haikyu volleyball circuit. meaning they’re still in highschool and are still playing volleyball and they just happen to chance upon each other at interhigh.

 i love how sweet osamu is and how he got his crush on akaashi. and it’s lovely how they wrote the budding of a highschool relationship!! and their take on how osamu and akaashi handle ldr??? it’s delicious. dont let the fake/pretend relationship tag fool you this is very cute i love them so much!! i guess the ‘no drama’ aspect is what i like about this a lot bc osamu’s a pretty straightforward guy esp i guess back in highschool. also the second-hand embarrassment is real lmao

welcome in by risquetendencies ★

in this setting osamu’s still the owner of onigiri miya but the au aspect of this is that they haven’t met before. so basically a meet-cute.

and man  oh mannnnn the tension written here is good food. osamu is written so obviously into akaashi (i mean who wouldn’t) and akaashi is affected by this greatly and it is!!! wow!! i just love how smooth osamu is here and how flustered akaashi gets bc “omg a hot guy likes me????” (yes akaashi, this hot guys thinks you’re a sexy piece of ass please believe it)

 akaashi in a gay panic is literally the best thing. 

blood brothers by billionairevolleyboysclub (18+)

miya twins are vampires and akaashi has a thing for fangs. that in and of itself is enough reason for you to read this. i also love how the writer puts a distinction between atsumu and osamu on how they interact with/ feed on akaashi.

like the dawn by eggsan

this fic is actually inspired by my royalty au but im not putting this here bc of that. i really like how the writer introduced their story. i remember telling someone that the atmosphere of how they write is like the voice of a soft-spoken maiden hahaha it's lovely!! think light academia aesthetic. i also love how i get the doki-dokis when osamu, who is essentially a stranger, gets close to akaashi. i can feel akaashi's excitement and trepidation.

forgive the sea, follow the tide by KyryeDuBarie (18+)★

PIRATE AU!!!!!!

i love the fresh twist that they did here on the classic mermaid/pirate au. the twist being akaashi is actually a pearl diver and at the same time being vaguely hinted as a mermaid hhahaha. osamu's a pirate that got shipwrecked and got washed up on akaashi's shores that akaashi, of course, saved. 

there's a bunch of cool things that happened too that i cannot disclose bc that'll ruin the thrill of reading this. the plot is solid and the romance between osamu and akaashi is gradual but so so sweeeeet!! i highly recommend this!! but better clear up your schedule bc this hefty boy comes in at a whopping 40k!!!!

keep time on me by yamabato

this fic is based from my zombie apocalypse au!! and even though it’s set in the end of the world, they were still able to write it so sweet and comforting????? i only wish osamu and keiji the happiness they deserve :’)

i also like the whole theme of time in the story and how the story revolves around it. it’s very good!!!

the contest between by batman (18+)

akaashi is a documentary director and osamu is his subject. i love  love looooove how the author wrote how stubborn both of them are and how they could clash sometimes but not in the explosive type of way. it’s actually cute and sweet, you’ll see what i mean when you read this hhehehe

AND AKAASHI IS SO LOVELY HERE!!! so lovely!!! and he laughs and smiles a ton and those moments were written in a way that just said ‘look at this angel!’ LMAO idk maybe that’s just me. i love akaashi so much

AND THIS BABY COMES IN AT A WHOLE 75K!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!

#chocomilked #fiend talks #fiendish recs #GIVE THESE AUTHORS SOME LOVE #love love looooove these fics i swear by them!!!! #if i find more i''l update these!! #happy reading tumblr used chocomilked!! hahaha #osaaka #EDIT: added two new fics!!! #let me go around the fics i've read again hhaha

[twiddle-dee-twiddle-dumb]

A/N: Ohohohoho word vomit, Toshi was really nagging in the back of my brain. So here it is... along with Mr. Hey Hey Hey Kotaro. I don't really know whether I've gotten better at writing. Still, I hope you enjoy though.

HAIKYU! BOYS & S/O ARGUED BEFORE AN IMPORTANT EVENT

Wakatoshi Ushijima

It’s rare for Ushijima to be silent whenever he really has something to say. He’s always been upfront. He always says what’s on his mind even if you may or may not like it. Of course, honesty and being genuine really helped you all through out your relationship. Yet, it’s different this time. He’s awfully quiet (like really, really, really quiet). He’s not even sparing you a glance across the living room. It looked like something’s brewing inside him and you can’t figure out what.

“Love, come on. Talk.”, you told him while standing on the doorway. You are wearing your work clothes except for the doctor’s coat that’s on your arm. Your shift’s about to start in two hours but you need to be at the hospital an hour before for the endorsements and other stuffs. “Babe…” you pleaded once more as you try to coax him to say something. But no avail. He just shifted on his seat, his eyes focusing on the tv screen. You sighed.

“Toshi, I’m really sorry about this. I didn’t know this would happen, that I would replace another doctor’s shift—” you mumbled on his neck as you hugged him in his seat. "Because you forgot to block your schedule for the next day." He said, cutting you off. It felt like cold water was splashed down on you. You can’t help but sigh in resignation. “I’m sorry.” That’s all you can say because it really is your fault this time.

Wakatoshi told you to clear your schedule a week ago before you shuffle shifts for the week. He knew that a doctor’s working schedule is erratic. That there some days and nights that you’re not going to be home and you’ll rarely see each other. There are some days that you and Toshi can spend more time together. He knew, that is why he asked you beforehand. “Yeah, sure babe.”, you agreed. You saw his rare boyish grin. However, you had a busy day at work and it slipped your mind.

“I’m really sorry, babe. I promise I’ll be there. I’ll really, really try hard to be there tomorrow. But I got to go. Love you.” You reassured him one last time then gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek. You rushed out the door. As much as you hate to leave your sulking husband, you have to. You pledge to do everything with chosen profession. Honestly, you felt terrible but you know better than to bring personal problems at work. Wakatoshi heard the door closed as you went out. He doesn’t know if he’s disappointed or frustrated. He’s really looking forward that Sunday brunch because your parents are going to be there.

You arrived at work but your mind seems to fling back to the look you last saw on Ushijima. You can’t help but internally berate yourself for absolutely forgetting. You shrugged the thoughts off as you finished reading/studying the patient’s chart. You’ll make your morning rounds in a few hours and you’re starting to get dizzy from all the hospital buzz. You found it unusual so you decided to get it checked.

Your shift ended 30 minutes before the brunch so you just texted Toshi that you’ll just meet him there and that the both of you have things to discuss. He just replied “ok”. O-K, two letters. As much as it frustrates you, you cannot do anything about it since you’re kind of at fault here. Now you got to make it up to him and you just know the perfect thing to do.

You arrived at the venue, both of your parents and Toshi are already there. You went to place a chaste kiss to your husband and greeted your parents after. In the middle of the small gathering, your parents pointed out that both you look awkward and seems to be having a problem. There is no point denying it since your parents already saw it through. They gave you guidance and advices, as you admit that it was your mistake. To make it up for everyone especially Toshi, you handed them white envelops.

Your lips pursed in anticipation and preventing a grin. You witnessed how their reactions changed from confusion to surprised to elation. Your mother was crying. Both of your dads are teary eyed. Your darling husband, oh the man’s got stuck on his seat, his left hand tightly holding the paper.

“Are you serious?” he asked you, still trying to wrap the information in his head. “Oh, so you know how to talk?” you teased him which earned you a grunt from him. “Of course! Laboratory tests results don’t lie. I was thinking of using peed on tests but I figured laboratory tests would be more reliable plus it’s free since I work there.” You quickly supplied as you gobble up the fruits on your plate.

Wakatoshi pulled you for a kiss and a hug along with the murmurs of ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m gonna be a dad.’.

Indeed, it was a great make up gift to your then disappointed husband.

Kotaru Bokuto

All through out your relationship with Bokuto is nothing but perfect. Perfect in a sense that you are equal in everything, he has been a reliable and responsible partner to you as you are to him. You balance out each other. Since the beginning of your relationship—when you first met and become acquainted—to the whole marriage and building a home with you, he has been a stable partner despite his ‘antics’. Bokuto has his tendency to mess up but he always gets back up. He has these weaknesses (per Akaashi) but he always comes around to make up for it. You know all these things about him and you love him no less.

There is no perfect relationship and couple fights are not uncommon especially to the two of you. The only catch is that the both of you are willing not to sleep on it until you’ve come up to a resolution. The biggest fight you had is when Bokuto tried to act up because your schedules didn’t permit you to see him before he left for a game—this way back before you had your first child. You almost call everything off. You were just so overwhelmed with the marriage, the pregnancy (which Kou didn’t know about yet), and work. So, it ended in a huge fight that was resolved three days later. Since then, the both of you are trying to not make disagreements into arguments. But not this time…

You just arrived from the business trip. You had a long day and receiving the news from the teacher that Bokuto didn’t show up for the meeting just makes you want to pull your hair out in frustration. Bokuto met up with you in the doorway and tried to kiss you but you moved away. You went to your bedroom and changed. Bokuto followed you with a pout.

“Not now, Kou. I’m not happy with you right now.” you said as you do your nightly routine. “Baby why? Did I do something? You just got back from work. I took care of the house and our son. What did I do wrong?” Bokuto was utterly confused.

“Really now, Kou?” you spat, crossing your hands on your chest. “No, baby, I really have no idea.” Bokuto insisted calmly.

“Kou! You told me you’d attend the teacher’s meeting today but you didn’t! I found because the teacher texted me and I have to freaking call her just to apologize and to be informed what went on with the meeting. Ugh…! You… I just can’t with you right now.” you groaned in frustration. You recalled the moment you read the teacher’s message as you drive your way home. It turns out that that meeting was for the parents of the kids that’s going to finish the school term with special distinction and your husband was no show. You also recalled how tight you gripped the steering wheel that your knuckles turned white.

Kou’s expression changed like he remembered something he forgot about which fueled your anger more.

“You forgot?! You freaking forgot?! What the crap!” your voice went an octave higher and scoffed in disbelief. “Kou, I can’t believe you!” you said before Kotarou could retort because at the moment he’s at loss for words. He indeed forgot.

You are fuming. Despite how busy you were, you reminded him and he still forgot. You just controlled your urge to throw the lotion bottle at him. You groaned in frustration, a bit calmer now. Your husband sat down on your bed, head bowed down like a little kid being reprimanded.

“The meeting was that important, Kou. The teacher said that the attendees of that meeting are the parents of the children who has a special distinction this end of the school term. Our son was one of them.” Bokuto looked at you, eyes shone with pride but that was only for a brief moment the second you glared at him. “And you missed it.” You continued. Bokuto knew he can never argue with you on this, clearly, he’s at fault. “Babe, I’m very sorry.” He mumbled. You sigh. It already happened. You already forgave him before he apologized but it doesn’t mean you’re gonna let him go that easily. “Whatever, Kou. I’m sleeping.”

This was the last conversation you have, days ago. Until today you still ignored Bokuto not because you’re still mad at him—you already forgave him the morning after when he made you breakfast, but you like to see him grovel. The thing is, you want Bokuto to understand that there are responsibilities that goes beyond than providing comfort and stuffs for the family and sometimes he forgets that.

“Baby owl, look at our son. I can’t believe he’s up going up there to receive his first award in kindergarten.” He whispered, still a little wary, because you still haven’t talked to him properly. You hummed in answer. Bokuto looked at you with pleading eyes, “Babe, please. You haven’t talked to me properly in days. I miss you.” You looked at him, one brow raised. “I promise to be better. I promise not to forget things anymore especially if it concerns our son, just forgive me and talk to me.” He continued, with a subtle pout. You want to laugh, his expressions never changed. “Yes, Kou. I already forgave you.” Just as you finished saying those words and before Kou could answer, your son appeared in front of you. “Mommy forgive dada? Mommy kiss dada now?” You and Bokuto looked at each other and then laughed. “Yes, yes, yes, little owl. Mommy forgave me. Dada can kiss her now.” Your husband answer while winking at your son. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” your son gleefully cheered.

Kou kissed the top of your head while whispering 'I love you'. Kou then whispered praises to your son as you walked out of the venue hand in hand, off to your home where you’re going to celebrate all the milestones in life.

#ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu time skip #kotaru bokuto #haikyuu fic #ushijima x y/n #bokuto x y/n #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fluff #hq bokuto #hq ushijima

[hatchetfieldtheories]

A Show Stoppin Number - or - Professor Hidgens, could you tell us what foreshadowing is?

There is a running theory that Hidgens was at least in the process of his apotheosis by the time Show Stoppin’ Number happens. Plus I have a theory that apotheosis works by Vampire Diaries rules of metamorphosis - not only does the person have to be infected by the spores, they also have to die. In that theory I mentioned I’d come back to Hidgens later - and then I didn’t. So now I am! And in order to do so, I am going to look at Show Stoppin’ Number a bit closer.

The Theory: Hidgens had become infected after touching the blue goo, it happened slowly but by the time SSN happened, the only stage of his apotheosis he had left was his death. SSN then serves as foreshadowing for the rest of Paul’s story.

Before we delve into SSN, let’s just jump back a bit to his prior scenes. He stops Emma from going with Paul to help Bill, telling her he needs her help with the goo. Which - sure, he needs the help of a botany student in determining this gloop of extraterrestrial origin. I believe it - nothing weird about that at all. While he may not be fully apotheosis-ed at this point (he has just shot Charlotte and Sam) the spores are definitely beginning their work. He is ensuring Paul is living out his hero’s role, and ensuring Emma stays safe in the mansion - afterall she is the thing the hero wants. (A concept I touch on in the TGWDLM rewatch)

He then drugs Emma and Ted, and ties them up to make them witness his musical pitch. I think two things are simultaneously happening here:

Hidgens believes he is doing this because he wants a world of musical theatre to become a reality because that’s his real love.

The apotheosis happening inside him locks on to Emma’s realisation on how to destroy them, and finds a way to stop her.

So now onto SSN.

A show-stopping number is the one song in a musical which literally stops the show for a while, and which once it ends the audience have just witnessed something remarkable and then have to remember they’re watching a full show and need to get back to the story. The two that always jump to mind for me when I hear the term are You Won’t Succeed on Broadway from Spamalot and It’s a Musical from Something Rotten, though I am sure there are plenty of less silly examples. While SSN is certainly a show-stopping number, I think there is something more to the repetition of this phrase.

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Something to shock 'em,

To bring them a-crawlin'

A big time box office draw

There is a post - somewhere - which discusses how this song is split into two very distinctive voices. You have the Workin Boys bit, and the rest. Workin Boys is very clearly Hidgens’ own work, whereas the rest is likely to be the result of his apotheosis. And it’s that bit where we get this repetition of Show Stoppin’ Number. This is the point where the Hive are about to crack out their big, jaw dropping finale.

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Spotlight on Mr. Ingenue

The ingenue is described as: a young woman who has little experience and is very trusting - which I think in this situation is supposed to be Paul. He trusts the idea that destroying the meteor will stop the Hive, which is ultimately what the Hive wants him to do.

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A show stoppin' number

Is something you die for

A real catchy ear-wormy tune

It is during the Hive’s show stopping moment (the meteor) that Paul does die - after being infected and becoming part of an infectious song.

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That seeps in and out of your pores

A ditty to make the chorus girls swoon

It'll unify humanity

In a thundering chorus

No exits from this Broadway venue

Seeps in and out of your pores isn’t subtle. This is the spores, and once you’re infected, there is no escape. Eventually all of humanity will be united in a singular voice - or thundering chorus.

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Then we get the whole Workin Boys bit, which now that I am back in the office just feels relatable. Five O’Clock can’t come soon enough, I’m bloody shattered. Workin Boys is Hidgen’s own work and is drastically different to what he has been singing up until this point.

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An aria to rule them all

Ok Sauron, calm down. An aria is a solo piece, which Hidgens knows. He knows the Hive is one being (Pokey) - they’re all part of a singular voice. I like the dichotomy of a chorus and an aria both being attributed to the Hive as it really drives home that they are both separate and one at the same time.

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Hamilton move over, your new competition's in town

Yes Hidgens, I'm sure we'll like that just as much as Hamilton.

#hatchetfield theory #hatchetfield theories #starkid #team starkid #hatchetfield #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #show stopping number #I'm reusing gifs I'm up at 6 #it's recycling