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tbhimnoteasyonmyself · 1 month

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On Tee's Lonely Grief

I've seen people talk about New's and Phee's grief, Pimpa's grief but the gang has never been considered that much on account of their guilt. This episode, however, brings attention to that. Especially in Tee's case. Especially in the scene when he finds Non dead.

And I have to say, I fucking love this scene. So I'm here to tell you why.

PS: For the sake of this post, unlike what's normally my policy, the pictures used will not be edited in any way, shape or form unless stated otherwise. I think it would be taking creative liberties with the photography and it would diminish the validity of my analysis.

So:

Tee finds Non's body upstairs with his uncle's goons (dressed in entirely black outfits which obviously invoke death) very suspiciously looming over it.

So he does what capable and strong Tee, who has to support himself and his father and his uncle's business and now Non (as we saw very clearly this episode) would do: He lashes out. He demands answers. He threatens people. Because that's how he learned to solve his issues.

Yet he gets mostly silence. Arguably, the same exact silence he initially offers the 2 other people grieving Non this episode: New & Phee.

And so he argues with his uncle, makes accusations, mirrors New in the present moment so well it's uncanny.

And then he's alone. Everyone leaves, including Non's body. And now there's no one to perform that idea of a strong ruthless guy to. Now it's just Tee. And the contrast between the act of Tee and Tee is remarkable: one moment he's cold, and the other moment he's completely broken.

So he screams, at the top of his lungs, which is interesting. Because we do see Tee cry but not much. Tee's just not a person who cries. Which, besides being very relatable, is also terrible. Why? Because crying relieves you. It helps you cope, it releases the tension from you, at least a bit. Tee not crying here means this (Non dying), unlike the guilt of what happened before with him and the gang bullying Non

(something he is allowed to shed at least a single poetic tear about) Is a burden he can't be relieved of. At least, not at that moment.

So we watch as Tee screams helplessly. And the environment is so telling. GOD, I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW

There's an empty space. Virtually nothing is there with Tee. Because, of course, he's alone in the room, we know this, but he's also alone.

No one else knows this story like Tee does. No one else has been with Non when he was a creative student trying to make a film, when there was life to him in all senses of the word and also saw his dead, lifeless body. No one else has been the cause for both Non's problems and Non's death. No one has liked Non as a friend and cared for him and watched him die without being able to do anything about it. No one in Tee's life knows what he's going through, what it feels like. No one in Tee's life is able to share his grief. And he can't escape it either.

You see that weird ass mirror there? Why is it there? There are curtains around it. But it's not a window. That's odd. But while it makes no sense decoration/architectural-wise, it makes so much sense from the point of view of symbolism.

There's no escape. Even when it really feels like there should be. Because Tee, the guy with all the solutions, should be able to find a solution, shouldn't he? Besides... We come to care so much for him and for Non... So how come there's no solution? Because, we, like these teens do to adults, naively trust the narrative. Of course, there's no solution. We all knew this from the start. We're only here because of this: Non is dead.

So, instead of a way out, a hope for something better than what's going on in that room, we get just more of it. Tee and we alike, have no escape. We're both forced to face that scene, forced to accept it. And Tee, if he dares look for that way out, will only have to face himself.

But interestingly, he never does. Tee never looks at the mirror on the wall. He doesn't even acknowledge it. Which, of course, might be a reflection (pun intended) of how he tries to pass the blame of Non's death to his uncle.

He repeatedly claims he didn't know what would happen, that he wouldn't have brought Non back if he did but... Is that true? As Perth's character (BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE, btw) says:

"You already knew, right?" Because, let's face it, it was obvious. Things could only go poorly for Non if Uncle Joe got his claws on him. Tee had to know that wouldn't end well.

So this scene also tells us that, despite deep down his immense amount of guilt telling him he is guilty of Non's death, Tee doesn't want to acknowledge it. He maintains that position, in fact, nearly all the way until the end of episode Ep.11. where he slightly changes his narrative.

He never planned to.

Right now, he's a new person. One that would not make the same mistakes as in the past but that, despite the changes, is inevitably the one who somewhere in the past did make them.

But back to the scene.

Tee is framed right in front of the blueish-grey curtains and we all know what that means, I do not need to cite the ancient scrolls. But I wanna add that grey is also:

a colour associated with sadness;

seen as a colour of death, as it is literally in greyscale, hence colourless, lifeless AND because it can also be interpreted as a mix of white and black, both of which are mourning clothes colours, depending on the culture;

a reflection of Tee's grey morality because, naturally, while we understand Tee's motivations and background, he did some pretty fucked up things that his good intentions and unhelpful help attempts cannot erase.

And then Tee finds a small paper, written by Non (in vivid blue, properly highlighting not only Non's depression but also Tee's).

And the paper reads: "I'm gonna get out of this place. I'm not a loser." And it hits him even further because Non (at least in Tee's vision, I'll leave Non's death up for debate, I'm sure people will have theories) wanted so bad to be victorious once, to succeed just once. He wanted to get a chance to live normally and it didn't happen.

This, of course, ends up shaping Tee's own path, as he meets White and gets a chance to do things "right" and as he becomes this "new person" and gets away from his uncle. But, in that moment, none of that is relevant because it hasn't happened and Tee cannot know it will, he can only know, with written proof, that he failed. And now Non's dead.

And so, in the last part of this scene, we see a more zoomed-out shot. And Tee's still alone but now we have a more clear vision of just how tiny that space is. And how he's nearly taller than the frame. How his grief is bigger than the space in which it was brought to him. But also how the weight of it, represented by the walls, is nearly crushing him. Another gigantic, and perhaps the biggest of all, responsibility on Tee's shoulders.

Furthermore, as @shannankle has marvellously described and explained in this post about sex scene framing, the framing gives us a level 3 visual gaze which is used to remind us as the audience of just how intimate and profoundly shaping of Tee this moment is: we are not supposed to be here, this moment is Tee's and Tee's alone. Because, of course, he is alone. In all senses. The access we're getting is nearly forbidden. Even to the other characters. Because they don't get to see it, they only hear about it (or we assume they do).

And, to top it all off, the cherry on top of this great scene: all of this happens while Tee is wearing his school uniform. Because, of course, it had to. Because we need to be reminded: this is a teenager. Tee, who's mourning his dead friend whose corpse he just saw and whose death is largely his fault is just a teenager.

#So yes #I might hate that Phee is apparently omniscient #but BY THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF US IN IT #do I LOVE the care and thought put into the details of this story!!!#it's so good!!#dff #dff the series #dead friend forever the series #dead friend forever #dff meta #dead friend forever meta #dead friend forever ther series meta #dff the series meta #dff tee #tee dff #dead friend forever tee #tee dead friend forever #dff the series tee #tee dff the series

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lin-ghtning-mcqueen · 1 year

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"Life is a Highway" this, "Life is a Highway" that, where's the love for "Real Gone"? IT'S A BANGER AND Y'ALL ARE SLEEPING ON IT!!

#IT DESERVES MORE ATTENTION #IT'S SO GOOD!!#cars fandom #pixar cars

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frodo-of-the-nine-fingers · 1 month

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the whataburger doctor pepper milkshake understands doctor pepper in a way exclusive to texans and john green i think. it knows that doctor pepper is an unique taste, a unique experiance even, that is not like anything else. it encapsulates this perfectly by not tasting like doctor pepper the soda but doctor pepper the idea of 'pepper'. if anything there is an almost cherry-like taste to it but that's not quite right and you can still taste the doctor pepper in it but you really have to experiance it for yourself

#reblog bait for e #god bless texas #it's so good!!#doctor pepper #i think e is right tho and if you go into it thinking its going to taste like doctor pepper you're going to be #disappointed but if you start with cherry and go from.there you're golden #it's like definitely not cherry tho idk how to explain it its like if cherry were purple and tasted like.doctor pepper #an ode to the whataburger doctor pepper milkshake my elusive girl best friend

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frenchiepal · 2 years

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05.10.2022 🌥️ lunlun's reading challenge day 1

better late than never! currently i am reading babel by r.f. kuang and i am absolutely gobsmacked in the best way. a lot of people recommended it and truly, my inner linguist is having so much fun with this book :)

#and with gobsmacked i mean ahhhhh #it's so good!!#it's been years since i've been really interested in a book #readingwithlunlun #hello love #studyblr #langblr #aesthetic #study aesthetic #bookblr #academia #jay speaks #l

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distort-opia · 1 year

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Every time I come across a "[insert any Gotham rogue] should be Batman's nemesis, Joker isn't a good narrative foil!" post I have to exercise vast amounts of self-control as to not explain why that is wrong, but what actually gets me about this take is that. Objectively, none of the Rogues make for the second best narrative foil/potential arch-enemy to Batman. It's actually Jason.

#IN THIS ESSAY I WILL--#no but seriously. Two Face does come closest among the Rogues barring Joker #but Batman is inherently about the loss and avenging of FAMILY. a fact that seems woefully unmentioned in these discussions #Jason cuts right at the core of this essential theme. he's family lost in the process of trying to protect family #he's the unavenged. he's a character defined by Batman and betrayed by Batman #putting the entirety of Batman's proclaimed system of principles under doubt #it's so good!!#anyway. had to get this a little bit out of my system #rants.txt

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repressionrepresentation · 1 year

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the writing for The Great is damn good enough where every time someone says Catherine is special or great I truly believe it. Like she is an anomaly among the court but when she is put alongside Orlo, Archie or even Velementov, I believe it. Nothing feels forced or dumbed down.

I feel in a cheaper drama it would be so easy to be her a #girlboss where her gaining power is a net good for the country or she the goodie and Peter is the baddie. The writers establish though Catherine is a progressive, the institution of royalty is inherently abusive to the people ruling and also requires exploitation of the people in its country.

It does all of this while being funny, witty and romantic!!

#the great #it's so good!!#everything about this series is stellar!

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dyingstarsatdusk · 9 months

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One piece live action trailer:

Me: *screaming hysterically jumping fucking vibrating like crazy and giggling to myself*

#one piece #I'm going crazy #someone send help #i can't with it #it's so good!!#the animation!! the casting!! and even the set!!!!#you can even see that their clothes are the same #i am sorry for the person I'll become when this finally releases

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arielta · 9 months

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Hey whoever made this playlist come here I just wanna give you a kiss

#eragon #inheritance cycle #murtagh morzansson #murtagh #music #It's so good!!#Spotify

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heart-always · 1 year

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the amount of serotonin i get after hearing the main theme after years of not hearing it, true bliss

#the mandalorian #it's so good!!#i've missed it so much #i'm glad the episodes are back

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pureanonofficial · 1 year

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My Fair Lady Lincoln Center: Friday, December 2, 2022, 9 p.m. CT

Now recently there have been a fair amount of people becoming interested in My Fair Lady, and so it is the exact right time for me to stream it again!

My Fair Lady has been described as a perfect musical, and I would most heartily agree. This production, the 2018 Broadway revival, which was recently staged in the West End and is currently on tour, is the icing on top of an already delicious cake. The cast is perfect. Harry Hadden-Paton really redefined the role of Higgins; he’s the best I’ve ever seen in the role. He delved into the depths of Higgins’ character better than anyone else I’ve seen. Laura Benanti soars as Eliza, mixing both humor and emotional depth expertly. Her Eliza is one of my favorites, and there are certain acting choices she makes that have stuck with me for a long time. The supporting cast is also delightful. Christian Dante White as Freddy is goofy and charming in a way I’ve never seen a Freddy be before, Danny Burstein is pitch-perfectly slimy and funny as Alfred P. Doolittle, and Rosemary Harris as Mrs. Higgins has a particular moment that breaks my heart.

If you love My Fair Lady already, watch this production. If you’ve never seen My Fair Lady, watch this production. My Fair Lady is one of the best musicals of all time, and this production really proves that.

Link and password will be posted at 8:45 p.m.