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nvvacanesworld · 2 months

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..••°°°°••..GREAT BLUE °°••....••°°

What if sirens were real and had the ability to make captains crash/sink their boats and their crew? Write from the perspective of a young sailor who survives a crash and interacts with one of the sirens

credit to @writers-potion for the prompt☼

♡pairing -Sailor!Gojo x Siren! Fem Reader!

♡content warning- Angst/No comfort, death, manipulation, starvation, satoru being stranded. she/her pronouns used Comment if i missed any please

♡word count-2,174

an- this took so long i’m sorry if it’s not perfect i haven’t proof read but i will later. Likes and reblogs and comments are appreciated, and if you like this feel free to follow me i’m trying to reach a goal of 100 followers :) or don’t it’s okay. I also like getting feedback just please be nice to me as i am a new writer ☮︎

it’s been seven days. seven days i’ve been stuck on this island. Seven days sense those things attacked me and my men. I don’t know how it happened. It’s like i was in a trance, she was pulling me towards her with her eyes. Oh those eyes, those beautiful ey- No Satoru Stop! Get your self together. I started slapping my face to wake up and get myself to stop thinking about her. Before i flipped the ship, i heard her, i swear i heard her whispering in my ear. She promised me power and riches if i would just jerk the wheel.

“Oh Satoru, listen to me brave sailor, riches beyond imagination await you. I can give you what you want, i just need you to trust me. Trust me Satoru”

Trust her? I looked forward and saw the most beautiful women i’ve ever seen looking at me. I didn’t care where she came from, I just wanted to see more of her.

“Yes my brave sailor, treasures only the bold can claim can all be yours”

“Tell me more please” I was so eager to know how i could attain this treasures. Looking out at the sea, the sun hitting my skin started to fade away making the once clear sky dark and gloomy, The once calm waters became more aggressive crashing into the side of my ship, but i hardly noticed, to focused on what this women, with her soft enchanting voice could possible mean, it’s like i couldn’t control myself. That’s was the only thing on my mind.

“Ancient jewels that shine brighter than the stars, Scales of the mightiest creatures that have ever lived, stronger than any metal or wood, The crown of the ruler of the sea Queen Asherah, with this crown you will gain the ability to breathe under water, we can see each other that way Satoru, i want you to see me, i want to see you”

Without a second thought i spoke

“I want to see you too, tell me how i can see you” I gripped the wheel tighter eager to know what i could do to attain these things that only are spoken of in folktales, things you hear about from your comrades while you watch the star in the sky dreaming about what you want to be.

Her voice sounded eldritch the next time she spoke, more sinister, different than the soft voice i had grown accustomed too

“Crash your ship”

What? My eye go wide but before i could think my mind goes back to the promise of hidden treasures, things that could make me the most powerful man to sail these dangerous waters, making me remembered for generations. Ignoring the warnings the waves gave me, I start to steer my ship closer to the sound of her voice. Where are you, how can i find you

As the ship goes deeper into the perilous waters, it feels like the water has an iron grip on my ship, making me and all my men shake with it.

“Captain what’s going on what are you doing?” One of my men shout at me, but i ignore him continuing on my path.

No matter what you do or how hard you fight you fight nature will always win

My ship flips succumbing to the oceans furry.

The last thing i remember is the screams of my men, begging for mercy, begging to live. And the scene of that same women and others attacking them as they struggled to keep themselves up, in that oh so unforgiving sea. And that soul wrenching song luring me to sleep.

I woke up in a sweat, jumping up from my position. How was i alive?

I’ve been stuck here for seven days waiting for anyone to notice that we never reached the port. Wandering around with no certain direction in mind. But the thing that irked me the most is i still wanted to see her. I don’t know what i would do if i happened to see her again. Maybe try to kill her to be honest. For what she made me do, or maybe she wasn’t even real and i did it myself.

My mind has been spiraling ever sense. As i kept walking i reached shore again. Great i went in a circle.

Falling onto the sand i felt the grains against my back prickling my skin. I was starving and hungry, only surviving off of the fruit that hung off the trees around me. I could feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness. This was it, i was going to die here. Right when my eyes were about close and my mind was about to fade into darkness. I heard her again.

“Oh Satoru, you look so hurt” she murmured in my ear. Her voice was so calming, oh so soothing i almost forgot how much i loathed her.

I got the toughness of steal and forced my body up and finally i saw her smiling at me.

“You…” I said with a strain in my voice glaring at her. She had so much nerve to smile in my face after that fucking mind control spell she cast on me. How could she be so confident? Standing so close to me in my reach like i won’t snap her neck and make her suffer the same fate as the men of mine she killed.

Without too much thinking i gather all the strength i can muster and lunge at her.

But she..she evaded me so gracefully, like she was dancing she twirled out my grasp, and i fell face first into the sand right in front of her like an idiot. I heard her laughing at me.

As i lay there defeated in the sand, she continued to laugh at me. That haunting melody that echoed in my ears caused my face to turn red. I couldn’t understand how she seemed so exquisite and untouched and calm by the chaos that she had caused. The tragedy she had caused. Struggling to my feet, my anger added fuel to the fiery flames that ignited in me at the sound of her mocking laugh.

“Why did you make me do it?”I growled not even bothering to wipe the sand sticking to my damp clothes “What even are you?”

Her laughter died out and she looked at me almost childlike her eyes looked so doll like.

“I am a Siren, Satoru. A creature of the sea, drawn to the deepest desires of men like yourself. Satoru your heart desired and sought after the most beautiful treasures, all the glory and for your name to be remembered for generations. I merely offered you what your heart desired”

Anger surged within me. “And at what cost? Where is all that now? After my crew is gone my ship has sunk, What do you even gain from all of this destruction?”

“Oh Satoru” There she goes again saying my name like that. “The sea demands its sacrifice, the sea doesn’t kneel for anybody, In return i bestow upon you the opportunity to come with me, Embraces the depths with you Satoru and wield the treasures your heart desires”

I hesitated, why did i hesitate, i was torn between the desires for revenge and the lingering allure of her vow. The lines between hatred and captivation started to blur. “Join you? After what you’ve done?”I croaked out my voice strained

Her expression softened, almost like she pitied me. I hated that. But the more i looked it almost looked like understanding “You may despise me now, but the sea has changed lots of peoples perspectives it has a way of doing that to people. Embrace the change and power i offer and you shall become something greater than you can imagine”

The conflict raged within me as i heard the waves crash, further echoing the turmoil in my mind. I yearned for vengeance, while another part of me felt drawn to her seductive promises she whispered. The siren extended her hand to me, an invitation to a destiny entwined with the depths of the sea.

“Do you choose the surface, where you will be stuck here forever wandering this very here beach because no one will come to save you Satoru i’m the only one who is here for you” Her voice got darker as she spoke it seemed she was getting angry but she quickly covered it up again “Or will you come with me, We can be together Satoru, i will make all your dreams come true” She was calm again looking at me with a glint in her eyes awaiting my answer. Why was she so bent on taking me with her, was she once like me ? Who are you?

A starange calm settled within me, the rage giving way to curios acceptance. I found myself reaching for her hand that she offered me. The decision made against the backdrop of the now calm sea. It’s like nature was playing into her hands. Our hands met, a surge of entertainment courses through me.

The world around us started to shift, and the island transformed into an otherworldly paradise. Vivid hues danced in the air, and the haunting melody of the sirens song resonated with a newfound lucidness. When i looked around me i felt a connection to the depths, an understanding that surpassed my former human limitations.

“You are now more than a mere sailor Satoru” she whispered from behind me. Her eyes gleaming with a mix of triumph and compassion. “You are now part of the oceans songs, it’s powers”

As i embraced my transition and transformation. The memory’s of what now was my past life started to fade like distant echos. I didn’t harbor resentment for the shipwreck, or the loss of my crew. Instead a symbiotic relationship with the sea and with the siren unfolded before me.

In the depths i discovered the wonders that were promised to me. The ancient jewels that shimmered like the stars. Scales of mighty creatures that pulsed with raw strength, and the beautiful crown of the Queen Asherah. With the crown on my head the ability to breathe underwater became second nature. And the ocean unveiled is secrets to me. This is what power felt like.

The siren, whose named i learned was y/n, and i began to roam the depths together. She became more than the seductive creature who led me astray, she became my mentor, my friend, my lover. Our connection transcended the surfaces desires that once bounded us.

As time passed i lost track of how long i had been apart of this aquatic realm. But i embraced it with open arms leaving behind the limitations my once mortal existence gave me.

The sea, once a relentless force, had became my ally, my truth. And with the Siren by my side i embraced the desires of the sea and the destiny that awaited in the endless expanse of the great blue.

—

Years have passed and whispers of the mysterious island reached the years of adventurous souls who wished to see if these folk tales were true. A group of explorers, drawn by tales of lost treasures, set sails toward their destination.

As their ship anchored near the sand of the island, the explorers set foot on the sandy shore. The air carried an eerie feeling, and the wind seemed to whisper untold secrets. Among the group was a seasoned archaeologist named Dr.William was leading the group.

Their footsteps echoed through the abandoned remains of a shipwreck that looked like it was washed up on shore, a haunting reminder of a past that was long forgotten. They explored further, discovering footprints deeply etched into the sand, evidence of what once was someone’s existence.

Deeper into the sand they discovered a figure lying motionless on the beach. A gasp swept through the group as they walked towards the body.

“Is that Satoru?”

“Who is that?”

“He was that famous caption who sailed the seven seas, but when he was on his way back home, it was said his ship crashed and he was never found”

The group gasped shocked by the news of the incident.

His body was intact but lifeless.

Dr. William explained the scene “Starvation” She uttered. A somber realization. “He must have been stranded here for days and took his last breathe when he laidback on the sand”

The once vibrant and ambitious man laid there as mere shell his dreams and desires extinguished by the unforgiving nature of the island.

As the explorers gathered around his body they prayed and paid their respects, but right as they were getting ready to leave the heard a haunting melody and out of the corner of there eyes they could’ve sworn they had seen something, or rather someone, rise from the sea ready to confront the crew. The last thing they heard before they passed out was

“Oh Satoru, my brave sailor”

please and thank you :)

♡tag-list- :) @getosbabymomma @seeingivy

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fruitcoops · 11 months

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hi!! been loving all your fics lately 😍

I’m wondering if you’d have fun writing something where logan and sirius (and talker? someone else?) are playing video games with the headsets on and talking to each other and then somebody steps away and accidentally leaves the headset on and the other two overhear stuff with the boyfriend(s) 👀

could be coops or o’knutzy or both, could be before everyone knows about whichever relationship or after, or both!!

Silly fluff on a Thursday! Utterly non-spicy, too :) Character credit goes to @lumosinlove!

“Fucker.”

“From the bottom of my heart—and know that I mean this with every bit of my soul—I hope you die.”

“Oh, sh—fuck, sorry guys.”

For just a moment, their dismay harmonized. The sounds of battle ceased and the screen went dark.

Sorry, You Died.

“I mean, maybe if you two didn’t discuss half your plans in French…”

“Woah, woah, hey, come on,” Logan protested over Sirius’ indignance. In the small icon to the far right, Thomas raised his hands with a look that distinctly lacked apology.

“This is aggression against Canada,” Sirius scoffed. “Classic Americans.”

“Aggression against Canada?” Thomas spluttered.

“Yeah,” Logan chimed in, adjusting his headset over one ear as he reached for a handful of chips. “That. Totally.”

“Tremzy, if you eat those into your headset, I will crawl through the screen and suffocate you.”

Logan narrowed his eyes at Sirius’ video square and made sure his microphone was in prime position to capture the deafening CRUNCH that followed.

Twin groans answered; Thomas removed his headset with a fake gag. “That just echoed across my living room, you little weirdo,” Sirius grumbled.

“Get a headset like the rest of us, lame-ass.”

“It’s worse that way,” Thomas chimed in.

“I told you,” Sirius continued with a whine Logan wished the press could hear before lauding him as some solemn superhero. “It was supposed to be here today.”

“Oh, yeah?” Logan said mockingly, just because he could. “Where is it, then?”

Sirius groused a little more under his breath; the sound of aggressive clicking followed as he moved his character over to whale on Logan’s for a few seconds. It didn’t damage his XP too much, but Logan filed that away for later. Somebody wasn’t getting his extra tincture of healing at the next checkpoint.

The Field of Regeneration was further from their goal than he would prefer—it had taken them an hour and a half to get to the mountains the first time, but he had faith that the fourth time would be the charm. There was a saying about that, he thought. Something like it. He rolled his ankles under the coffee table as their characters moved over the hills in a pack, bracing his arches against the table leg for a better stretch. His toes popped and he grimaced; they really hadn’t moved much today. Then again, early summer was made for lazy days in front of the television with his friends.

Sirius swung by the boulder pile and collected the healing kits the same as before. Logan didn’t bother waiting for him—they had been though this section enough that he could catch up on his own. He had promised Leo they’d reach a stopping point by 6:30, anyway, and there was no chance he would pick video games over acting as a sous chef, paid in kisses.

The chirps faded as they made their way past challenges that had once been world-ending. Logan was glad they weren’t dragging this out longer, too focused on reaching the checkpoint to fuck around. It was one of many reasons he would choose Sirius and Thomas for weekend games over anyone else; they had fun, but they knew how to settle down and win.

Logan grimaced. Hockey brain was supposed to be banished until at least July.

“Let us know when your setup gets here, Cap.” Thomas’ voice startled him; he barely avoided stumbling into a ravine.

“Ouais, we’ll give it a test run.”

They were coming up on the edge of the forest, now. Logan swapped his inventory around and carefully sidestepped the spike trap he had (unfortunately and with great embarrassment) fallen for the second time around.

Sirius’ mouth twitched. “Hey, Tremz, watch your—”

“Shut up, god, I hate you so much.” Their digitized snickering filled his ears and he made sure to be on solid ground before freeing a hand to flip them the bird. “I’ll go call Sunny and Kuns to play instead. See if I care.”

“Don’t you have two boyfriends within arm’s reach at all times?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “They are on a date, if you must know. And Leo hates character games.”

“Ew, you know what kind of video games they like?” Sirius teased.

“Aren’t you literally married?”

Thomas skipped past a cursed runestone and reclined back in his seat. “I think we can all agree that I’m winning here.”

“If you were here in person, I would throw something at you for that,” Logan informed him. Did it matter that he was greatly looking forward to having Thomas around for Christmas in a few months? No. Not here, not now, not while he was within chirping range. The very lenient penalty for dating his sister had been clear from the start. Logan couldn’t let him get too comfortable.

The greatest threat to achieving their goal appeared just as they reached the base of the mountains. Logan was feeling so proud of their quick time before that.

“Which game?” Remus asked from the corner of Sirius’ frame, unloading his pockets on the side table.

Sirius tilted his chin up for a kiss to the cheek, like he had no respect for Logan’s poor, innocent eyes. “Legendborn, with T and Tremzy.”

Remus hummed. He tugged at the collar of Sirius’ shirt with one finger, biting at his lower lip. Logan’s stomach dropped through the fucking floor. “Want to come upstairs for a bit?”

“NO!”

Remus flinched hard at the resounding shout from three different voices, then burst out laughing; Sirius reddened faster and more vibrantly than Logan had ever seen. “Dear god, Loops!” Thomas sounded downright scandalized. “The man doesn’t have a headset! Give us some grace! Some warning!”

Logan wrenched his microphone closer to his mouth with a clumsy hand. “You’re paying for my therapy, Lupin.”

Remus managed to pull his face from Sirius’ shoulder long enough to stumble through part of an apology before breaking down into laughter again. “Fuck—my bad, my bad, I didn’t realize.”

“Clearly!”

“Keep your husband under control, Captain!”

Sirius turned a lecherous smile on them, then caught Remus by the front of his shirt and pulled him down to lick a long, wet, horrendous stripe up his cheek. Logan threw his controller aside and flopped backward on the couch, hands over his eyes, as hysterical laughter and Thomas’ spluttered protests filled his ears.

“I thought you two would finally be normal and boring after you got married,” he groaned, sinking deeper into the cushions. Sirius, the menace, was damn near cackling. “Can you stop being freaks about each other for two fucking seconds?”

“Nope!” Remus said cheerfully. “It’s state-sanctioned now, actually.”

“Marital bliss,” Sirius agreed. “You’re just jealous.”

Logan peeked through his fingers and found Thomas shaking his head. “T, if I ever lick one of my boyfriends, I want you to take me out behind the rink like Old Yeller.”

“Jealous,” came Sirius’ singsong answer. Remus made himself comfortable with his chin on Sirius’ head, grinning madly.

Losers, the both of them. Lame and sweet and married to a nauseating degree. God, Logan couldn’t wait for his turn. Preferably, though, it would wait until after he had logged off.

#logan tremblay #sirius black #thomas walker #remus lupin #sweater weather #vaincre #coast to coast #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #fluff #video games #coops #oknutzy #thomas walker/ noelle tremblay

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starzblvd · 7 months

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Somethin’ Stupid | pt.3

AN; the last part is finally here, I promise next time I make a series I’ll make a reminder to write faster on these things!! On a side not I’ve been trying to write more poems, I’m just scared they sound like a 13yr olds English assignment. I sincerely appreciate everyone’s support on this series up to this point<33 I’m not sure if anyone caught on, but I stole the Frank Sinatras song title for this

Two separate people you’d wish to keep apart by all means, were colliding & it wasn’t helping the problem at hand. The distance made it so you couldn’t see just how much Abby was laughing right at Ellie, excusing how her arms crossed in front of her stomach failed to contain that laughter.

“Fucking Abby.”

Ellie was agitated, regardless she wanted to play the bigger man in front of you, not wanting to cause any further problems. So refraining from a harsh confrontation she lead you away, with her hand clasped onto your wrist pulling you away from Abby’s practice session. Ellie’s grip was one of a strong clutch, her walk was quick with long strides to get away from Abby’s viewing as soon as she could.

“She looked like a kicked dog, I wish I recorded that,”

Abby had her fun and enjoyment making a soccer ball hit her new goal keepers face, but dissipated at the look of worry you wore being pulled away at the wrist. The way your eyes were so agile of worry that Ellie was in pain. Sheer regret would ruin this moment for Abby, regret for being the pinpoint reason of the soft tending gaze you placed onto Ellie.

It wouldn’t matter how you looked at Ellie now, not taking a second to look back with the plans to hit the store erased from her mind told by her change of path to her dorm instead. Not saying a word, it didn’t seem the time to, the weight of how angry she truly was something you didn’t know how deep rooted into her was.

“El’s, are you okay?”

Allowing her to continue on this short rampage Ellie was perusing wouldn’t end well, better to strike her down before she goes on any longer in this state. Even then there’s no response, the footsteps leading to up the stairs sounded heavier each step. Before Ellie would drive you up any further you’d beckon her arm to stop, signaling to pause the trudging up the stairwell for a brief moment. A mean look of features had remained the whole walk, but now it was you being so sweet to her now. Ellie dropped the prolonged clench of her jaw, knowing with you it wouldn’t change anything staying in the mood of having resentment for Abby.

“Look, I’m just,”

her fingers come in to pinch the bridge of her nose between her eyes, a soft sigh following in suit right afterwards. The way Ellie could be so gentle and aggressive we’re two sights that contrasted each other like black and white.

“She was obviously targeting me or something and, I know I know, putting my anger on you isn’t gonna help.”

The stairwell was secluded, while Ellie beamed down onto you, standing on the step in front of you. A remorseful look of a smile looked back at you, the smile that let you know she’d let it go for the moment.

“Take it easy yeah? Let me put some frozen peas on your bruise.”

Ellie moved to the side, gesturing for you to take the lead now. Her hand fell from your wrist to dangling from the grasp of your two fingers locked onto her own middle and pointer finger. Ellie would never with intent be so rough with you, not when it could strain the relationship you’ve built, so she made it so every time she was mad to resolve it quickly.

Walking like this with her right behind felt oddly familiar, odd as if this had been the life you’ve already been living of having Ellie walk alongside heading home, yours and Ellie’s home. If only you knew Ellie shared this feeling of familiarity, imagining it plenty of times before, walking up to your dorm. Welcoming herself inside as if she’d come home to you after a tiresome day into a shared space filled with furnishings reflecting both of your personalities.

Finally getting to the door and jamming in the key Ellie gave you for “just in case” situations, her arms crept behind you latching to your sides now holding onto you.

“By the way, I don’t have frozen peas,”

Ellie’s voice came in a raspy whisper with how close she was, the small chuckle that you felt on your shoulder had you a rose tinted face.

”But, I do have frozen go-gurt sticks.”

Her arm outstretched to the handle of the freezer before yours, rifling through the strawberry flavored ones to get to the blue raspberry one. She spun you around to face her, Ellie let you hold it up to her face to the sore cheek, any pain given by the hit was forgiven by the endearing way you treated Ellie when she was hurt or sick, or felt bad for that matter, with the smile you’ve adored ever since the first meeting.

“Does it feel better yet?”

“Yeah, with you as my designated nurse.”

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

Game day, the day that’s been anticipated with so much enthusiasm by so many people was here. By now Ellie went to practices over a dozen time, to makeup for being put on such short notice. She was player 7, so naturally you had to make your shirt with 7 plastered onto it and in bold letters Ellie Williams. Even when wearing Ellie’s number you still had an obligation to Abby, she was the reason you’d be going in the first place. 6:17pm, you were in your room adding the final details to the sign you initially were working on for Abby, the teams red and white shades coordinating the outfit you set up the night before digging through your wardrobe, ribbons laced into your hair.

Abby was training with her team more often than not with the game approaching, so Abby couldn’t help asking to meet up an hour before heading off to the fields. What you didn’t expect was her appearance at your door, originally it was planned to meet at the lobby. You’d known it was Abby when her voice asked for you by name.

“Woah you’re dressed up.”

Abby’s scent wafted into your face once the door was swung open, the perfume she used complimented her perfectly. Abby’s smile faltered for a second when she realized whose number you wore so broadly.

“Didn’t know you’d come meet me here, otherwise I’d finish your sign earlier!”

The smile went right back onto her face, peering over your shoulder catching a second of a glimpse before you block her view as in attempt to keep the sign a surprise. Knowing you’d been working away on a sign that’d be more widely seen steered her attention from the Ellie shirt.

“You’re such a big fan of me,” Abby’s lips went right into a smile, letting the edges of her eyes wrinkle. Despite her tough appearance Abby she was tender hearted where it mattered, and who better to show just how tender she could be than you.

You roll your eyes at her comment trying to retain the grin that was slowly forming,

“For your next game I should be your sponsor, here come in. Wait before you get in,”

Snaking around Abby, you brought your hands up to cover Abby’s eyes, laying your pinkies on the plush of her cheeks.

”Okay start walking.”

“Kind of hard to walk when I can’t see,” maybe it was the body heat of yourself, or the heat radiating off of Abby’s reaction to your sudden touch that your hands felt warmer. You situated Abby on the edge of your bed avoiding the sign, sliding it under your bed with your foot in the process, once letting go Abby’s eyes were peeled open already, looking into you. It stayed like that for a minute, both of you being able to appreciate the girl in front of them. Only a minute before Abby’s phone rang disrupting everything.

Unsure of what was being told over the line it was obvious they were screaming, Abby sighed while the other person ranted on and on, presumably someone from her team.

“Alright I’ll be there soon, let me wrap up something right now yeah?”

Groaning she hung up without letting another word come from the caller.

“I have to go, but I’ll look for you first thing at the game.”

“Looking forward to it.”

Abby rised from her spot, her foot stepped towards the door with a second of hesitation, that turned into confidence as she turned around to place small peck onto the right side of your cheek. Unannounced and unexpected the small kiss made you giggle, it felt soft just as her lips looked.

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

Front row seat that’d been reserved just for you, you’ve already come across a couple of girls wearing Abby’s number. Ellie’s appearance on the team was so sudden you’d been the only one adorning her number. 40 minutes into the game loud cheering of loud crowds whenever Abby successfully made a goal, but she only made an effort to look at you, smiling right back at her.

Ellie was determined to do something valuable to the game in effort to show off for you, but with Abby deterring any members of the opposing team Ellie was practically useless the entire 40 minutes. Especially since the two times she was put up to the test she missed by an inch or two, the ball going right past her into the net. She’d cruse herself for being distracted by you standing there so brightly from the goal post. The rest of the players shot bitter looks at Ellie’s direction anytime the ball got anywhere near her.

Each of them doubted her ability, it’s was unavoidable with her performance as of recent. Ellie was agitated of her own playing skills, she joined solely to impress you, but it was showing to be an unfruitful way to do so.

A scowl on Ellie’s face was apparent now, Abby on the other hand was gloating now in the screams of everyone for her team, specifically the chant of her last name of every girl cheering for her.

The rest of the game played out the same, leaving Ellie’s goal keeper reputation tarnished and stained, practices went so much better than today and for that she was mad at herself for being unable to perform for you in the way Ellie hoped for.

While the team walked back to the locker rooms, you’d been able to see the celebratory way the players acted with each other. Abby leading everyone and gloating in the credit for winning like she always did. Ellie walked in the back behind everyone else, treading with a slight sulk as if she was on the losing team.

You took the initiative to hurry over to where they were in the back. Getting up and away from your seat, then rolling up the sign for Abby before seeing Ellie, it was her on your mind to see first.

Waiting on a bench outside the doors, looking up from your phone waiting to see any sign of Ellie to emerge from the locker rooms. Abby came out first, face and walk full of pride after another game that went to successfully, even more so knowing Ellie wasn’t much of help giving her all more reason to end up kicking her off. Abby dismissed her teammates that came out alongside her coming right over you. “Had fun? Having you there felt like my own personal cheerleader.”

She sat besides you, crossing her arms together staring at you with the look she’d wear after each win, a look you’ve only seen through photos.

“you did amazing Abby.”

She bit her lip taking her gaze off you debating whether to ask you to a gathering now that the game was over, nervous she’d face rejection. After all you’d already spent so much time watching her.

“you know, we’re getting dinner at a restaurant nearby, would you want to come?” Her voice came out mellowed out from the tone earlier. Abby’s eyes were so docile when waiting for you to reply.

“Yeah I’ll be there, let me do something really quick before we go.”

Upon reply she smiled and went with the rest of her players, heading out talking about the moves they did, soaking in the victory. Ellie walked out the door next, face ridden of annoyance. Almost jumping out of the bench you rush over to her side.

“Hey El’s, going to the dinner after?”

You put your cheery tone on to help Ellie bring herself from the mood or at most distract her attention elsewhere after noting her continued look of defeat.

“No I’m heading out.” Ellie’s voice was worn out, with lingering sentiment of disappointment, a tone you’ve only heard until now. Quiet and raspy in nature, seeing her displayed like this, sweaty, hair disheveled with her little bun holding on for dear life, the slouchiness of her posture, pulled at you with a sense of pity.

Everything becoming all to clear for her rash behavior recently, almost like a blessing to the wishes you’ve fought so far for to become reality. The words found their own way out at her vulnerability, seeping from your heart to the outside world,

“Ellie, I’m in love with you.”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, not standing outside of a locker room at 10pm on a random weekday. You’d play it out to be much more romantic somewhere secluded and alone with her, but withstanding without letting your emotions be known to her when it was this obvious why she acted the way she did wasn’t working anymore. Ellie looked up sharply, her lips were agape but nothing came out, not a single sound let alone a word.

Now it really wasn’t supposed to be like this, Ellie unresponsive while she looked at you confused, essentially as if what you’ve spoken was properly interpreted by her ears or if she really was going crazy.

“God, that was so stupid I’m sorr-“

Just before you’d be able annunciate the last vowel Ellie’s arm took you in close to her in an instant. An embrace that resembles all the strong emotions she’s ever felt for you, each thing she’s done to get to this point.

“It’s not stupid, I’m in love with you too, just never wanted to spoil what we had.”

Even when you wouldn’t ever have thought things would come to be this way it all felt so right, they’re wrapped in the arms of the girl your love was so overbearing for. You can see it In her eyes when she lifted her head that every word Ellie said was genuine, and so genuine was the kiss that you’d been wanting for so long that she gave into immediately upon your doing.

#ellie tlou2 #ellie williams #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x fem reader #wlw #ellie x you #lesbian #ellie x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #tlou game #the last of us

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shina913 · 1 year

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On Tilt, Part 4 | KNJ

On Tilt, Part 4

Definition: a poker term for a state of mental or emotional confusion or frustration in which a player adopts a suboptimal strategy, usually resulting in the player becoming overly aggressive.

On Tilt Masterlist

Pairing: Namjoon x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞

Genre: idol!AU; strangers-to-FWB-to-lovers; toxic relationship; angst; fluff; smut

Warnings: cussing; vulnerable confessions; explicit and suggestive sexual conversations; making out; heavy petting/groping; unbelievable amount of cheesiness and fluff--it's disgusting how these two have it so bad for each other!

Summary: You’ve said time and time again that you wouldn’t lose yourself to him. You were in control now. You were going to make better choices. For a minute there, you were able to keep up with it. It wasn’t ‘til Namjoon’s extended break that you found yourself falling into old habits. Will you ever learn to quit Kim Namjoon?

Word count: 3,570 words

A/N: I'm sorry...this came out wayyyyy cheesier than I intended. But hey, I've been writing a lot of angst lately, I wanted a change of pace! This is the song they sing to. Namjoon posted it on his IG stories a while back 🙊

ALSO!!! Please don't be a silent reader! My inbox and DMs are open. Comment, reblog, scream at me, send me an emoji--whatever. It fuels me and motivates me to continue writing! 😘

[Namjoon] 6:05PM: Can’t wait until this album is mastered and goes through print. It was fun and all but…damn, I really miss you.

His text made you grin at your screen like an idiot.

He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be busy. He was practically on lockdown finishing up loose ends on a couple of tracks and going through each soundwave with a fine-toothed comb.

That was how Namjoon was. He was always passionate about his work, and always wanted to constantly evolve. He loved art but was never one to be content with stagnation. He wasn’t going to be locked into four corners of a frame.

You admired that about him…but it also scared you in a way. In the back of your mind, you thought, maybe it took him a while to come around to this agreement because he didn’t want to be tied down to begin with.

It was a daunting and disappointing thought but you brush it aside when his follow-up text comes in.

[Namjoon] 6:07PM: What do you think about a quiet night-in at my place? I’ll order dinner and we can just hang out. No more boners, I promise 😇

That elicited a laugh from you. Truthfully, you didn’t mind it but you had to stick to your guns.

[You] 6:08PM: 😋 Sounds good, I can’t wait! Missed you, too.

[Namjoon] 6:10PM: I also got a new firepit installed on my balcony–totally safe, BTW. No open flame! I just push a button 😅

You laughed again.

[You] 6:10PM: Oohh cozy!

[Namjoon] 6:11PM: It is! I also got some new furniture and a blanket with our names on it.😏

[You] 6:11PM: Sounds romantic…

[Namjoon] 6:11PM: That’s the goal 😘 I’ll see you in two days.

******

“Fuck…” you croaked after coughing up icky, yellow-green mucus into the sink. This was bad, you thought. Namjoon was supposed to pick you up tonight and you woke up this morning feeling all foggy.

Yesterday, you thought the scratchy throat was brought on by allergies. You took an antihistamine before bed to stave it off. But now, you were all congested, looking like death after mere hours.

“Hey, are you okay in there?” Lani asks out of concern from the other side of the bathroom door.

You open it to greet her and she looks horrified when she sees your bloodshot eyes, pale skin and overall disheveled appearance.

“Really? It’s that bad?”

“I mean…” The look of hesitation on her face all but confirmed it.

“Damn,” you groaned. “I was really looking forward to this date, too.”

Immediately, she tries to sound consoling. “You know what? I’m sure he’ll understand. It’s that time of the year, everyone’s getting sick.”

Sure, she made a fair point. She was a nurse at a hospital and she knew all too well that this year’s flu season has been particularly brutal. You were just glad that you didn’t feel bad enough to require hospital admission.

But for some reason, that thought wasn’t comforting enough. “It’s been over three weeks and I really miss him,” you whined.

Back then, you’d go long stretches without seeing Namjoon and it wasn’t a big deal. You just shrugged your shoulders and thought you’d catch each other again ‘next time.’

Lani puckered her lips comically and glanced below your waist. “Guess you’re regretting that 5-date rule right about now, huh?”

You rolled your eyes at her. “Shut up,” you dismissed her before walking past her to go back to your room.

“Girl, who cares? It’s not like you had a contract or whatever. Nobody’s taking you to court if you break your rule–”

“Yes, but I know it! And Namjoon knows it! And…”

“Okay, okay, I’m only teasing,” she backed off. “Want me to make you some chicken noodle soup before I take a nap?” Lani had been picking up extra shifts in the evenings since they had been short-staffed at the hospital.

While soup sounded good, the concept of sinking yourself back under your covers seemed more appealing.

“Nah, you go and sleep. I’ll order from the food app or something. I just had a little bit of yogurt before I took my cold medicine.”

“Alright. Just set an alarm every 3.5 hours, if you want to stay on top of it,” she yawns.

******

“Joon, I can’t tonight…”

Delete.

“I woke up sick, can we resche–”

Delete.

“Ugh, why is this so hard? Just be straight with him,” you say to yourself before finally typing up a text to Namjoon.

You checked your watch again. Around this time, he was on a plane coming back from a schedule. You couldn’t afford to wait a few more hours until he landed because he’d be coming straight from the airport to your place.

[You] 10:15AM: I know that we were really looking forward to tonight but I just came down with the flu. I feel like crap and I don’t want to get you sick. Can we do a raincheck in a few days?

You send it off and sink back into your blankets to doze off.

******

Somewhere between naps, you are awakened by the smell of food. You checked your watch for the time–it was too late for lunch and still early for dinner. You figured Lani ended up making you soup…she was such a saint. You didn’t deserve her love!

Next, you reached for your phone to check for calls. There were a couple of ‘hope you feel better’ emails from your team and a voicemail from Jia saying that she could drop off stuff at your door if you ever needed anything.

Oddly, there was nothing from Namjoon even though the notification below the text that you sent to him indicated that he read it over two hours ago.

You felt crestfallen that he didn’t even acknowledge it. You wanted to send a follow-up text to ask about his trip but thought you’d go and have a couple of bites to eat so you could take your next dose of cold medicine.

You wandered out into the kitchen, fully expecting to catch Lani as she headed out the door for work.

Your coughing announced your presence. “That smells good. Are you…" You are stopped dead in your tracks. "Joon?”

He turned around with the biggest grin on his face. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“W-wait, what are you…I thought–” You stuttered.

“You think you can get rid of me that easily?” He chuckled.

You laughed hoarsely. “I wasn’t trying to get rid of you. As you can see,” you open up your arms, as if presenting yourself to him, “I don’t look so hot right now.”

He took two strides and rounded the kitchen counter to get to you. “Do you think I care about that? I was looking forward to spending time with you and I wanted to do everything I could to make that happen.”

You wanted to swoon on the spot…until you noticed that he wasn’t wearing a face mask.

“But wait…you’ll get sick?”

He laughed softly, curling his arms around your waist. “I’ll be fine, baby. The whole group just got over a virus–and it missed me!”

You scoffed. “Oh, right–and with my luck, it’ll be me giving it to you.”

He shook his head, giving your hips a light squeeze. “You won’t. Aren’t you glad to see me?” He pouted his lips.

His subtle gesture made your belly flutter and your cheeks warm up. Glad to know that everything was still in good working order, you thought.

You gave a small smile. “Yes, of course.”

He flashed his dimple before kissing your forehead.

Taking your hand to urge you towards the kitchen, he says, “C’mon, I brought something that I thought might help you feel better.”

You took two steps before, realization sank in. “Hold on–how did you get in? Is Lani still here?” You’d been asleep for hours.

“No but I called her and,” he hesitates for a beat, “I…kind of… met her…at her workplace to borrow her keys?” He drags out slowly.

You eyed him suspiciously.

“She was cool with it and all she asked me to do was leave the key up on the lip of the doorframe so she could get in tomorrow morning.”

With a soft sigh, you nodded, appreciating the effort. Your eyes suddenly shift towards the kitchen, remembering what brought you out here in the first place. “D-did you cook?” These were words you never thought you’d ask him.

He threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh. “I wish but I don’t think you or Lani would forgive me if I burned your place down. I ordered some takeout–” He says, walking over to the counter, the bags finally coming into view. “I thought you might like some chicken pho?”

You couldn’t deny, that sounded amazing.

Sensing your acquiescence, he urges you to sit at the breakfast bar while he pours soup and noodles into bowls for both of you.

You asked if you could sit on the couch instead since you were feeling woozy and your warm throw blanket was calling your name.

“Wherever you feel comfortable,” he replies. “I got some imperial rolls, too–I remembered that you liked them.”

“I do.” You smiled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness.

It’s been years since you both went out for good Vietnamese food. You registered the familiar green takeout bags on the counter. To most people, it looked like generic to-go bags but you recognize them coming from the hole-in-the-wall place that you and Namjoon used to go to.

After settling comfortably on the couch, he comes around, bowls in both hands and sets them on the coffee table in front of you. He turns back around to bring the pho add-ins along with the deep-fried eggrolls.

He takes the spot next to you and hands you a pair of chopsticks, which you accept. While he busies himself with the basil and lime, you couldn’t help but stare at him.

He turned his head in your direction. “You want some sriracha–what? Why are you staring?” he chuckled in curiosity.

“Nothing, I just…” at a loss for words, you just smiled, “Thank you.”

He gazed at you for a few seconds before responding, “You’re welcome. C’mon, eat up.”

******

After dinner, you tidied up together. Namjoon had music playing on your bluetooth speaker. As you reach for the rinsed dish that he held out for you to put on the rack to dry, he surprises you by grabbing your hand instead and deftly setting the bowl on the counter. A couple of pushes of a button on his phone with his free hand, he turned up the song’s volume.

Catching you around the waist, he pulls you close to him into a dance. You giggle as he sings along to the song that you recognize.

You can't disguise all the pounding of your heart, yeah I see your eyes And you can't hide

You laugh when he hits the falsetto but he’s too into it to stop.

Start to make sense and quit playing These love games… Tell me what you're gonna do, yeah

You join him when the chorus hits, dancing along to the beat. When the music dropped for the bridge, he pulls away slightly and then squints his eyes at you. He enunciates every word emphatically.

I just want to know one thing Will you be with me?

Hearing the words in his rich baritone made you catch your lower lip with your teeth. You grinned and matched his enthusiasm when you sang the rest of the words to him.

Here comes my darlin’ Here comes romance Here comes my lovin’, please honey will you dance

You pull him back closer to you, grinding against his body as the music swells again.

Then, he threw his head back dramatically to sing the chorus, “Quit breaking my heaaaaartttt…” You both burst out laughing as his voice cracks at the note that was clearly out of his vocal range.

When you calmed down, you looked up into his face. He was watching you with dark, glittering eyes.

“I love hearing you laugh like that,” he said, and you knew he wanted treasured memories like that between you. “It makes me think that I’m doing something right.”

“You are,” you assured him, even as your throat tightened at the sight of his yearning.

“I want to be that person who always puts a smile on your face.”

Slowly, you bring your hand up to cup his nape. “You already do.” With that, you pulled his mouth down to yours. As your lips touched, he hugged you so tightly your feet lifted off the floor.

This relationship may not have started out for the right reasons. You were both young and impulsive back then.

But now, you were both trying hard to better yourselves for each other. Here was a man who wanted you both to work as desperately as you did. You were finally on the same page.

******

“The girl did it,” you blurted out decisively.

Namjoon’s fingertips paused from drawing circles around your abdomen. “What? No way!”

You were sprawled lengthwise on the couch, watching Forensic Files. He was spooned behind you, his chin on your shoulder and his legs tangled with yours.

“I’m telling you…classic sociopath,” you told him matter-of-factly.

He scoffed. “I think it was the grandma.”

You gasped, eyes widening in shock. “Oh my god!” You tilted your head to look back at him. “She’s clearly only protecting her granddaughter!”

He grinned and smacked a kiss on your cheek. “Wanna bet on who’s right?”

You snorted. “Sorry, I’m not a gambler.”

“Aw, come on…” He rose up on his elbow to look down at you.

You tutted. “Nope! Besides, I know I’m right. I’ve seen enough of these shows to figure out a pattern.”

As you scooted closer to him, you felt his crotch against the curve of your bottom. He wasn’t hard, but that didn’t stop him from gaining your attention. Curiously, you reached behind you and cupped him.

He arched an eyebrow at you. “Is there anything we can do for you?”

You laughed as you withdrew your hand. “I’m just checking to see if everything is still in its place. You’ve been on your best behavior considering we’re in a tricky position.”

“Maybe because I don’t want to push you too far and scare you off.” Namjoon’s eyes glittered from the light of the TV screen.

“How considerate of you.”

He nuzzled his nose against your temple. “I’m willing to wait however long. Five, ten, twenty dates…whatever you want.”

You wriggled your body to face him. “What about what you want?”

“I thought I made it clear last time that I only wanted you?”

You try to stifle a smile but are spectacularly failing at it. “What if I decided to scrap our no-sex agreement,” you whispered. Your pointer and middle fingers did a ‘walking’ motion up on his chest. “Would you think I was being too easy?”

He watched your fingers then shifted his eyes back to look into yours. “I’d be too busy thinking how lucky I was to have the privilege.” He traced your eyebrow with the tip of his finger.

You seriously considered it. Lani was right, it wasn’t like breaking your agreement would have any legal repercussions. You were both adults!

You cleared your throat in an attempt to strengthen your resolve. “Could we settle with a makeout session for the time being?”

“Make out? What are we, in junior high?” His head fell back and he laughed, his chest vibrating against you. It was a husky, deep tone, your toes curled at the sound of it.

You pushed at his shoulder. “Come on! Nobody makes out anymore. Everyone just wants to get right into fucking. Don’t you miss that feeling of being so into each other but aren’t quite ready to go all the way yet?”

He slow-blinks at you, wondering what point you were trying to make.

“You know, when I was in the 8th grade, there was this boy—“

“I’m going to need to stop you right there,” he cuts you off. “I really do not want to think about other people kissing you.”

You purse your lips and apologize. “I’m sorry…” Your hands crept under his shirt, gliding over his warm skin. Your lips moved against his jawline. “So…does that mean that you don’t want to suck face?”

“Baby, I’ll suck on any part of your body I can get my mouth on,” he answers point-blank.

“Why don’t we start here for now,” You tap your finger against your lips and he takes them, sealing his mouth softly over yours. His tongue traced the seam, then dipped inside, licking and teasing.

You burrowed into him, moaning when he shifted to lie half over you.

Your hands slid up and down his back, your leg lifting to hook over his hip. You caught his lower lip between your teeth and licked the curve with the tip of your tongue.

The low growl he let out made you wet.

Your back arched as his hand slid underneath the hem of your hoodie and captured your bare breast, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

“Are you sure you didn’t plan this,” he murmured. He kissed his way to your temple, and then buried his nose in your hair. “You’re making it really hard to last through two more dates.”

You pull away from him briefly. “Listen–I had no idea that you were coming over, okay,” you argued. “I didn’t know I had to be in proper underwear around you.”

He chuckled at your defensiveness. “I’m kidding,” he plants a quick kiss on your lips. “Can we just continue making out?”

You narrowed your eyes playfully at him. “You’re lucky, you’re cute.” You pushed past his joggers to squeeze his butt. The heat of his skin and his natural scent was a heady mix for you. It made you feel drunk with lust and need.

His mouth covered yours and you fisted at his hair, urging him closer to you with your arms and legs wrapped around him.

“I want you so much,” he rasped in between kisses.

You moaned in agreement, your mouth moving feverishly against his.

Namjoon held you with one hand at your nape and the other at your waist. Settling over you, he aligned himself against you and rolled his hips to your center.

“Mm, that felt so good,” you groaned, nails digging into his flesh while your insides clenched.

“Imagine how much better it would feel inside you,” he purred.

You nipped at his lower lip, giggling. “Are you trying to convince me to go all the way?”

“I can slide right in,” He sucked gently on your throat, making your core tremble hungrily. “You don’t even have to do anything. You can just lay back and watch me do all the work.”

It was incredibly tempting. He was rock-hard and you were primed and ready for him. All he needed to do was hook his finger to your leggings’ waistband.

You playfully puckered your lips and arched an eyebrow at him. “Hmm…I don’t know. I’m not that kind of girl anymore.”

His hand squeezed your hip bone, eliciting a light squeal from you.

Brushing his mouth over yours, he whispered, “If you don’t like it once it’s in you, I promise I’ll pull right out.”

You scrunch your face humorously at him. “Do people still fall for that line?”

He stared back at you in all seriousness. “You know I’d never feed you lines. I mean every word.”

You gripped the curves of his butt and rocked up against him, making him purr in excitement. Reveling in his playfulness, you teased, “And do you say that to all of the girls?”

His eyebrows knitted. “What other girls?”

“Oh, you know…” you sighed, “You’re Kim Namjoon, international idol. All these women, screaming for you to walk into their waiting arms.”

“You say that, and yet, I’m here in yours,” he lifted his head, his fingertips brushed the hair from your temple, “...where I belong.”

His words hit you like a freight train. You swallowed hard and whispered, “Fuck, what a line! Fine, go ahead and put it in.”

He pressed his forehead against yours, his breathy laugh warming your cheeks. “It’s unbelievable how crazy I am about you.”

You smiled back. “Well, believe it, because I am, too.”

You spent the rest of the night kissing and groping each other like horny teenagers but never went all the way. There was just something thrilling about that youthful, almost forbidden intimacy.

Hours later, you fell asleep in each other’s arms on your bed. You woke the next morning to the sound of his phone going off—work was calling and he had to leave.

As he prepares to head out, he tucks you back securely under your covers, and plants a kiss on your forehead.

When he pulls away, you utter, “Hmmm...I love you,” in the midst of your cold medicine-induced haze.

Before he could respond, you drowsily rolled over onto your side and fell back to sleep. You would wake up nearly an hour later, completely unaware of your words or whether he said anything back.

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Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @yu-justme @e-cm @serendididy @onlythehobi @yoonallthetime @majamarantha @jinjccns @joonbo @shesoldbutcute @joonschocochip

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yakiswifey · 1 year

Text

Chapter 1

NOTES FOR THE READERS:

ok so i know this is clearly an aggressive yaki au but it doesnt have to be this was just the direction i started to go in. This is something I found in my docs and I’d like to share the concept with everyone. Yes, this is enemies to lovers. Anytime you see a separation between paragraphs this is POV shifting from you to Kyk. My inbox is OPEN, if anyone has requests.

“Congratulations, you made the team”

You’ll never forget the day you made it to what you consider the dream team, all your hard work paying off in the end. The day you opened up the letter signed to you announcing the news you had been waiting for. The sense of accomplishment flooded through you, pleased with yourself for once. All your friends and family deemed you lucky and were proud of you. You made a promise to yourself to not get distracted along the way. The sound of the fan running in your studio apartment, just arriving back from checking the mail. Your eyes lit up upon the sight of seeing the application addressed to you, as much as you wanted to scream you held composure. That whole night you could hardly sleep knowing what the future held for you, time passed slowly than within an instant you were starting your very first game on the team.

The air in the locker room felt hot and sticky, shouting could be heard from outside as you laced up your shoes for your first game. You were a freshman on the college volleyball team, another new face and considered a pester for your older teammates. You checked yourself out in the mirror before stumbling out onto the gym nervously, you felt like a baby giraffe using its legs for the first time. “Get it together…” You told yourself. Your talents were undeniable and you deserved your spot on the team, regardless of the anxious thoughts that ran through your mind. A deep breath filled your lungs and left in a moment's release, hands slightly shaky and clammy. People lined the rows, eagerly awaiting the game to start while everybody cheered for their favorite players and teams. Standing up straight for a sense of false confidence, you stood in your position ready. You could feel one pair of eyes in particular latching onto you, who? No other than your team captain, of course. Kim Yeon-Koung, one of the best volleyball players in the world was staring directly into your soul as if already displeased with you. Her eyes were piercing like a hawk and her eyebrows furrowed together as she had only one goal in mind, winning.

Yaki moved with grace across the gym, seemingly every time the ball came her way she could score a point. No matter who she was up against her expertise and professionalism shined through, she remained a true force to be reckoned with. You always admired how she made it look so easy, nearly effortless when it came to doing what she loved. As the game continued on, the focused look she had only left her face when it was time to celebrate. Her charming smile could switch off to an intimidating death stare towards the opposing team within an instant, that was the competitive nature about her. She was magnetic to you even if you knew it was wrong, you didn’t want to be right. She was so attractive it was easy to look past her defensive and stern demeanor. There has been a time too many when Yaki had gotten onto you, whether it was for hitting the ball in the wrong direction or simply not playing exactly how she wanted you to. When it had become game time she turned ruthless, at times she even hurt you and your other teammate’s feelings.

Regardless… She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

“Hit the ball, idiot!”

Somehow you managed to lose your train of thought midgame, the ball flew right by you and hit the floor allowing your opponents to gain a point. Yaki threw her hands up in the air, muttering curse words under her breath. Nothing made her angrier than when we royally screwed up, especially a mistake made by a younger teammate. Her attitude could shift from sweet to seeing red within an instant. You cuffed your face with your hands, wiping off some sweat. Pure humiliation and shame sent a shock through your body, knocking you back down to Earth once again. You wanted to run or hide, anywhere away from everyone else but you couldn’t. Yaki took a deep breath and made a “come here” motion with her hands and you knew all her wrath was about to be released upon you. You made your walk of shame towards her, keeping your posture as stiff and tall as you could in an attempt to not display your guilt.

“Are you kidding me? I’m not losing because of you. Get it together, Y/n.”

“Im sorry I-”

“I don’t care, that will not ever happen again.”

She scoffed and fixed her position, making sure to scrunch her face up enough to express her disdain for you. You hated that you could never defend yourself with her, as much as you knew you were in the wrong. Everyone held their places and the game continued, this time you were going to prove yourself. The winning team served the ball and this time your eyes were hyperfocused on it. One of your teammates hit the ball to the other side but the defense knocked it back over to you, this was your chance and you took it. You slammed the ball with your palm as hard as you could, your opponents scurried over to defend but they were no match. You scored a point, quickly recovering from your hiccup earlier. You threw your hands up and cheered with the team, a big smile covered Yaki’s face. Nothing made you happier than when she was proud of you. She always managed to shift your emotions, hitting every notch on the spectrum from anger to butterflies fluttering around in your tummy.

Both teams were now even and whichever team scores will be the winner. Yaki gave a quick pep talk, assuring everyone we could have this. Regardless of her rough exterior, she was an amazing coach and you knew that. You respected her even though you knew she saw you as an ant. Every time she switched from being angry to happy with you it tugged at your heartstrings, leaving you absolutely hopeless. You doubted she even acknowledged your existence sometimes but the high was enough to keep you confident for the remainder of the game. Your team served the ball and thus came the usual back and forth of the two teams. This one was tough since everyone was fighting for a win, footsteps squeaked across the floor as everyone shouted at each other. Sure enough, Yaki hit the ball and made it land smack across the floor. The team huddled together to give everyone a joyous embrace, Yakis hand graced your back before pulling away. Being within her presence never lasted long enough.

You hunched over on a cold metal bench, sweat running down your back and neck. The stench of gungy knee pads and sopping uniforms filled the air. Bodysprays and deodorant attempted to mask the hazardous scent. Your gaze stayed on the worn blue tiles along the locker room floor. The scuffle and rummaging of tennis shoes and lockers flinging open, cheering and laughter layered over. You grabbed a soft cotton towel and headed to the showers, a curtain covered the cubicles. You whipped the curtain open impatiently and began taking your clothes off, hanging them over the steel rod above you. Soapy suds and a thick lather coated your body, a holy cleanse after the intense game you endured. Hot water hit your back as your mind recalled Yaki lecturing you, the way her eyes seemingly filled with hatred and resentment. Though the game was won, your mind ate at your flaws and faults.

Never good enough.

You turned the faucet off and began to dry off, wrapping a separate towel in your hair. You felt clean and fresh, ready to go home and pass out. Upon leaving, you saw the girls all huddled around Yaki as she rambled. Laughter and giggles from everyone eating up one of her elaborate storytimes, admittedly she was funny. Looks and a good sense of humor, she had everything. You picked up your duffel bag and let it slouch over your shoulder before heading towards the door. It was obvious how a few girls just wanted brownie points with the captain, some kept their distance because they couldn’t stand her. At the moment you weren’t sure where you and Yaki stood until she called your name out just before you could leave. She stood up and cut her storytime short, feet scuffling over towards you. She cleaned up well as you could smell her musky perfume lingering from her body as she moved closer.

“Let’s talk.”

She pulled you out for some privacy, her hand resting on your shoulder.

You nodded your head in obedience, ready for whatever criticism she was about to give you.

“How did you not see it coming? I’ve never seen you freeze up like that before.”

Her hands cupped the air in frustration, the concept of it being your first game and never playing in front of that many people never occurred in her mind. Even though you knew, who was really distracting you at the moment. You paused, your eyes pointed at the ground as you tried to come up with an excuse. You felt the heat of Yaki’s intimidating glare on you, looking you up and down in pity.

“I made a mistake, there is no excuse for it and I’ll admit that. It won’t happen again but stop acting as you weren’t in my position before.”

“Because I wasn’t, I was much better than you at your age.”

She cocked a sly grin and tilted her head, she thought herself hilarious and cute. However, you found nothing funny about the situation. Your mind raced with a hundred scenarios where Yaki could have passed the ball to a better spot or times when she let her close friends off the hook when they messed up yet got onto you for the slightest mistake. Your eyes wanted to jolt all the way to the back of your brain but you didn’t wanna come off too rude to your senior. You smacked your teeth together and said nothing, the both of you making eye contact. The air grew quiet and tense as she knew you weren’t saying how you truly felt. Either way, she felt as though it was the perfect time to listen to the sound of her voice yet again.

“Practice tomorrow morning, eight o clock. Be there, your career depends on it.”

══════════════════

Yaki switched into a shirt and shorts to assess her daily wine down, It had been a long day after all. Every day is a long day for an athlete, the body was in good shape but the mind remained heavy sometimes. She lives alone, on the days she isn’t busy she is usually staying out of the public eye. Her notoriety had sparked in recent years especially despite being well known for a long time now. Yaki, let out a big yawn before collapsing in bed and turning on something to watch, presumably her usual drama. The apartment was quiet but tidy and kept. For the most part, she was content with living alone but it does get lonely. The difference between going from loud cheering crowds to silence is hard to adjust to. Every night she did a quick rundown on what the teammates need to improve, at the end of the list was you. There was never a moment where Yaki doubted your talent, it was your focus that came into question.

What is that girl always thinking about?

Yaki sighed after closing her laptop. Silence, darkness then came the tossing and turning. Reaching over to the other side of the end table she grabbed her phone and opened up her socials, scrolling to see if anyone has posted anything new. She paused and clicked her tongue, feeling nosey enough to search up your name. You both followed each other but never interacted much, things were always friendly if they weren’t tense. Admittedly, she knew you were the easiest to get a reaction out of. The way you pulled yourself away from her was noticeable, whether you meant to or not.

══════════════════

#kim yeon koung #kim yeonkoung #yaki #bread unnie #POV #alternating pov #SERIES #dabbling #plot #idea #submissions #Fanfic #yaki x reader #Kim Yeon koung x reader #alternate reality

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hu5kay · 2 years

Text

The best advice for coping with ADHD and Autism as an Adult;

Be patient with yourself

Don’t give up on your dreams, but still give yourself milestones on the way

Know your limits. If you know you’re on a hyperfixation spree and feel yourself burning out, you are. Don’t get to that point or you’ll lose all interest in that passion, trust me I still do this

Gonna sound odd but trust me, have a huge variety of clothing to change your aesthetics to get that Serotonin boost.

Do not neglect yourself to try and fit in with people, cause chances are you don’t fully like them anyways. Get those friends that’ll support you. Took me years to figure that out

Set boundaries for people AND YOURSELF. Don’t do things you know will overstimulate yourself. “Bite the bullet” or “Overcome your fear” is a boomer mindset

Explain to your friends that you may not text them back sometimes. It happens, more so with us. Explain you’re not upset with them, just sometimes you’re not mentally capable of interaction, even through texts

Do not expect Coffee to fix everything(I still do this)

When watching shows that are considered long, write your mental notes down when you stop watching. I started doing this cause I drop shows for months, want to get back into it and I have no idea what’s going on, even after the recap. Writing your personal takes and notes will stimulate your brain to reboot back to when you were watching it months ago. Don’t hold back on those notes either, the more the better

If you’re cool with people at work, ask them to politely remind through out the day what the day goals are so you’re not pushing things last minute. YES, we work will under last minute pressure but it doesn’t look good to your boss. Learned that in the Army.

Music can help you remember things. I’ve had tons of dejavu type moments when certain songs come on and I’m able to remember things better and more in depth

If you’re overwhelmed, that’s okay. It happens, and you should not be ashamed for it. Find your comfort levels and social meter

Speaking of Social Meters, it’s how long you’re able to tolerate public functions or social gatherings. Neglecting this will trigger a depression episode and feel hopeless. Don’t know why but it happens with us. As stated before, know your limits and avoid overwhelming yourself.

Use the hell out of your notes app on your phones. For what we you need, use it. Here’s why. “Oh I’ll remember that later” how many times did you ACTUALLY remember that?

MAKE A CHECKLIST FOR YOUR DAY OR WEEK. Whiteboard, in your room, do it. Trust me. Checking shit off makes us feel so good and doing this around the house and seeing the results AND checking things off, oooo baby. Walmart, hobby lobby, target, doesn’t matter, get one. While you’re putting tasks down on that, put all your bills there too. Trust me

You are not required to force a friendship. It’s a two way road and we have problems recognizing that cause we feel everything is our fault or responsibility. News flash, ITS NOT. Sometimes people will take advantage of our conditions, weed them out.

Be. Selfish. About. You. And. Your. Time. And. Energy.

If you lose friends for above, fuck them. They are not worth it I promise. To relate, I am being called two faced right now because I decided I was done with a toxic friendship. It happens. Don’t beat yourself up for it though.

I hope this helps. I want people to read this before they get to my point in life where I didn’t have any advice or guidance. And let’s be real, those TikTok’s giving backhanded advice never work and make things worse. If these come off as aggressive, I’m sorry! These are things I wish I knew back then and I just want to share what has worked for me. Thank you for your time!

#adhd problems #actually adhd #autistic adult #actually autistic #autistic problems #austism #adhd

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manie-sans-delire-x · 4 months

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I've ADHD and other problems. Changed multiple jobs. I'm interested in research but don't want to do a Ph.D. Maximum I can do a master's but I honestly don't know if I can complete it. I am not interested in studying for so long but a bachelor's is a waste of time If you don't want to study more in the psych field. But you can go to other fields.

Since I've mental health problems, I don't think I can see others, or listen to their problems. Don't have patience but sure it can come with time. But really nope. I don't wanna treat patients.

I/O, perhaps but you need masters. I'm pretty much tired and from what I've read although there are jobs in I/O, people are still unemployed

Developmental, cognitive, and behavioral sounds interesting and you can go to research but a Ph.D. is needed.

Oh I see. Dont take this to be passive aggressive or implied as a negative thing, but is autism or schizophrenia one of them?

Ive job hopped a lot as well, and definitely relate to your situation, quite a lot actually, Ive been thinking about and considering similar things.

Well you dont have to do a masters program right away. You might not get accepted the first few times anyways- a lot of the successful applicants already have a masters and are going for a second. Its kinda unfair imo, but I suppose it means you just have to be that good to compete. I think that especially for mentally ill people in psych, you have to be in a good enough place in your life to be able to do the work long term, or complete a degree. Thats not always now.

I have a friend who made it, graduated with her masters, now opening her own clinic and giving therapy sessions independently. I have another friend who hasnt made it in yet, despite being very intelligent and good at school. Im sure she will though.

I wouldnt say a bachelors is a waste of time, not at all. Especially if you want to work directly with clients. Even if you dont, education is never a waste of time. I would say going to college was one of the best things in my life. Whether or not its financially worth it these days, is another matter and I think depends on the individuals circumstances, personality, and goals. Also, having a degree in anything improves your chances of getting most jobs, and psych is applicable to a wide range of jobs. Everything involves people.

You could always try it for a few months if you dont know what else to do. It may surprise you. But yeah, I mean, its psych. Its going to be very difficult to work in the field while avoiding people. Academics and research would be the most promising in terms of minimizing all that, but like you said, you need a doctorate.

Let me ask you this, why do you want to work in psych at all? It could still be part of your life, without being your profession.

#asks

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smallestapplin · 2 years

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"I want someone to save MC from Volo." well i want mc to be the one to save volo （；¬＿¬)

PFFF I got different routes and everything going on here with everyone’s suggestions, I’m trying my damnest though cause this is really fun to do, oh wait that gave me an idea! I wasn’t gonna write this like a request, more chatting, but the idea hit me, little spin off if ya will.

Angst angst angst/comfort

Asks are open!

He came back, you’re still in the Sinnoh forsaken cave, a look of familiarity crosses his face with you nuzzled up to Arcanine, but then he looks nervous, his hair is a mess, the bags under his bloodshot eyes make you wary.

“I just want to talk.”

You glare at him “about what? If you bring up those-“

“Not about the plates…I just, I don’t know.” He sounds hopeless.

“You know it’s a bust, don’t you? Like what would even be your plan once you get what you asked for.” Your aggressive tone makes him break.

He knows it was expected, he knows he did this to himself, he knows all of that, but it didn’t hurt any less, falling to his knees he cries, hugging himself, hunching over while sobs wrack through his body.

You could only watch awkwardly, you’ve seen him cry twice but nothing like this, it’s like he was letting out all his pain, yet while a small part of you felt bad, the majority felt nothing, he is an old friend for a reason.

“What are you crying for?” You refuse to be kind to the man who kidnapped you.

“I just want….I want a start over, I miss everything we did! I-I was, going to use Arceus and ask for a restart, I miss our camping trips, i miss our talks, I miss your laugh, I miss the light in your eyes, I miss your excitement.” Volo keeps rambling on but you can’t understand what he is saying anymore.

All this bullshit, for this?

“Volo, you dumb dense bastard, you do realize I can’t just let go everything you’ve done, right? You said it yourself at that fucking temple, I was just a pawn to you, you’re telling me you actually felt something for me? Why would you betray someone you care for like that?”

He only wails harder.

“Answer me, what is as the reason, you actually enjoyed our time together, then why did you do that.”

“I don’t know! I don’t know I don’t- I- it was so conflicting, I was finally so close to my goal, it was within reach, I thought, maybe if I did it my feelings for you would just go away, I was wrong, so very wrong.”

His body trembles, tears still cascading down his face.

“I want things back how they were.”

“Things will never be back to how they were, you realize how much you’ve hurt me? Volo look at me.”

He does, wincing at the bruise around your neck.

“I’m stuck here, you think I’d actually be talking to you like this if I wasn’t? You kicked me three times!”

“I know…”

His fight long gone, he knows you’re right, he has known that for so long.

“I’m sorry…I’m so so sorry, I could never amend our relationship, I realized that so long ago, I just wanted it back so badly, so…I thought that was the only way.”

You narrow your eyes at the broke man in front of you, his own desperation to belong and to be something clouded his judgment, he just wants to be wanted, but he went about it all wrong.

You feel sorry for him the longer you think, the only sound filling the cave was his sniffles.

You sigh “do you understand that it won’t be 100% the same?”

Volo snaps his head up to look at you, shock evident on his face.

“Well?”

“Y-yes I do.”

“Do you understand that this is going to take a very long while to build back up?”

He nods “I’m aware, yes.”

“Do you understand that I’d you try shit again I will make sure one of us is dead?”

“I do.”

You sigh once more, thinking it over.

“I want you to prove to me you’ve actually changed, prove to me you aren’t a traitorous asshole before I even think about accepting you back into my life.”

While your glare was deadly the smile that broke across his face was the exact opposite, tears coming right back.

“I promise you, that I will do my best! Thank you thank you thank you-“

And once more he is crying, you hope you made the right choice, maybe this will be his wake up call, you can only hope so.

#pokemon #pokemon imagines #pokemon x reader #pokémon #pokemon fanfic #pokemon volo #pokemon volo x reader #I will make this man sob #break him #I love seeing a man in a crisis #don’t ask me why

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albertfinch · 10 months

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MOVING AND FLOWING IN THE LORD

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What would life look like if we postured ourselves as "victorious ones" and declared WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST into this natural realm?

We can never give up or lose hope. Instead, we stand on His promises and prophesy them into the unseen realm until they become reality in the natural realm. Mark 11:24 states, "And whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will lbe yours " If God has given us a revelation of His purpose for our life, then we must have the faith to believe it will happen. We must stop believing by what we see but believe by what God has showed us.

COMMUNION WITH GOD

1 John 5:14-15 -- "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him."

When we are in that place of intimacy with God, we can hear His heart. We are able to feel the season He is bringing us into. He is able to show us the things of the future and from that place decree them with greater authority. We speak the hidden things of the Lord into existence, even if at the time we are experiencing difficulty and hardships. We declare a victorious life speaking as though our Father is speaking.

As it says in Mark 11:24 - "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

THE HIDDEN LIFE

We must first draw close to Him and have our hearts transformed into His. Our ultimate goal is to bear fruit that remains for His Kingdom through our Christ calling.

We know who we are in Christ without doubt or fear. We are sons and daughters of God by His marvelous grace.

We are one with Jesus and have His Blood flowing through us. By His Blood we overcome the darkness of this world.

Too many in the Church have limited themselves and limited God by not understanding their Christ identity and their right standing with God.

Colossians 1:27 - "...to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."

Christ in us is our hope of glory. When we are weak, He is strong. As 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says:

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

A NEW MODEL

This is a season that if you are intentional to go up the mountain and keep your gaze on Jesus, you will receive new perspective and vision. You will birth the assignment God has been waiting to give you. You’ll come down the mountain and release the mighty thunderous sound into the earth!

This is the hour to stand in faith and prophesy the new things to come. Our ongoing role is fruit bearing that remains for His Kingdom and aggressively discipling new believers into their Christ identity.

Isaiah 43:18-19 - "Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. 'Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.'" We know we have the victory over sin, death, and the darkness of this world. There is no way we are losing this battle, because the Lord provided the victory through the Cross. Even when things are hard, we must praise His name, because what the enemy intended for evil God will turn to our good. No one wants to go through hard things, but as it states in James 1:2-4 - "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

The more we go through, the more we overcome; and the more we overcome, the greater our understanding of our authority becomes. We are made perfect and complete and lacking in nothing. God allows us to go through hard times because He has given us the grace to overcome them.

According to 1 Corinthians 10:13 - "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

TEACH US TO PRAY

Luke 11:1 states: "Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when He finished, one of His disciples said to Him, 'Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.'"

We do not want to pray in our old ways, asking and begging. We want to come before Him as His Bride, praying the scriptures that have to do with our present need with the expectation of God answering.

By praying the scriptures in the epistles of Paul that pertain to our Christ identity we come to know who we are in Christ; the power that is flowing through us and our authority over satan, sickness, distractions, or anything else that does not match up with Heaven. Our body is the temple of God, and we have the right to take authority over every area of it – spirit, soul, and body.

"Call to Me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."

ALBERT FINCH MINISTRY

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m34gs · 11 months

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1 and 6 :)

Hey friend, thank you for the ask! (from this post) I had to think a bit on it, but I am excited to answer!

the character everyone gets wrong

Hmmm, I don't think I really have a character that comes to mind that I can confidently say "Yeah, everyone gets this one wrong". I think it's more that there are characters that fandom strips down to a singular trait and then a lot of iterations within fanworks then become an exaggeration of that one trait until the character is a hyperbole of themselves...which probably sounds like I am saying "yeah they all get this one wrong" but I'm really not. See, using that for comedic effect is great and all, and I sometimes really enjoy it, and a caricature is not necessarily wrong...it's just exaggerated. I tend to try to stay away from the word "wrong" when dealing with fandom interpretations because things are so subjective.

I do have a few characters that come to mind, though, for how often they are written as a caricature or one-dimensional or boiled down to one trait. This isn't accusatory or anything, just my observations: Deku (Izuku Midoriya) from BNHA - The amount of times I've seen him written as "uwu poor bean" or "innocent" or "too precious for this world".... like. Y'all. He canonically breaks his own bones to save other people again and again and again. But then it swings the other way with people writing him as a "badass who does no wrong". I promise you this boy messes up and when he does, he messes up Royally. Also, he is not suave At All in the source material, lol, he just has a few badass lines and faces danger even when he's terrified, but there are plenty of times he makes mistakes, can't talk to girls, embarrasses himself, and is even paralyzed with fear. Overall, he's a pretty well-rounded character. That being said, whatever you wanna write, go for it.

Grimmjow from Bleach: Yeah, I love the "Grimmjow is a Giant Cat" joke, and I've written it myself. But sometimes even for me it's too much. He's more than just 'a cat' (and really, all cats have a unique personality). He's an amalgamation of souls with murderous intent and a goal of being King. He wants to be the Strongest. He canonically tries to murder Rukia and Ichigo both. He gets loses an arm. He has this weird list of checks and balances where he doesn't harm Orihime because she restored his arm, even though harming Orihime would definitely get to Ichigo and draw him into a fight to the death. He does a 180 in TTYBW and is fighting on the same side as Ichigo, in a 'enemy of my enemy is my friend' sort of deal, because his home is threatened. He ATE his followers/friends to even become an arrancar in the first place. There is more to him than 'hehe, oversized cat', and I feel like sometimes even I need a reminder of that. (and I really love his character)

Endeavor from BNHA: Oh no, I get it. This man does horrible things. I just kinda get tired of fics where he's characterized as remorseless (he's not; that is shown very clearly, even if he still has a long way to go to even begin apologizing/making up for how he's been) or even considered Worse than All for One. You know, All for One, the Villain who is so terrifying even other villains are afraid of him. The dude who manipulated a child and raised him into someone who would attack other children, the dude who wants to squash the very symbol of hope for everyone. Endeavor is a shitty dad, and he does shitty things, but he is not so one-sided. Yeah, he's very self-centered and insecure, doesn't make him evil. He's aggressive and doesn't pay attention to collateral damage. Still doesn't make him evil. Dangerous? yes. Abusive? yup. I guess I just hate when people see him act one way and instantly decide there's no way to redeem him. He would have to do a lot of inner work, but he has the potential to, and I think a lot of fandom consistently strips him of that potential because they'd rather see in black and white and label people as 'good' or 'bad' with no going back or forth, than to think that maybe humans are more complex and so maybe the characters in the shows they love are more complex as well. Idk. I kind of rambled a bit on this one. If you want to see more of what I think could be done for Endeavor, you can look at the first work in my Adventure of the League of Dads series on AO3, I suppose. Or ask me about it. I don't mind talking about him. He's interesting to me, and I think he reflects some people I have known in my life, which is maybe why I have such an interest in him being able to change.

I have more, but I think I'm gonna leave this list here, or we could be here all night. Lol.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

So I don't actually think there's a particular ship out there with fans who are more annoying than other ships, but I think there is potential for fans of any ship to be annoying. Basically, the annoying stuff is not connected to the ship, but to fan behaviour. Really, I think the most annoying types of ship fans are the ones who will send death threats and anonymous hate to people who either dislike the ship they enjoy or who like a ship they don't enjoy. Imagine sending death threats and hate mail over people that don't even exist...Imagine sending hate mail or threats at all...like damn. Some people really need to grow up. But as I said, these fans can be (and are) present in any and all fandoms, for any and all ships. Maybe there's more for a lot of the mainstream stuff, but that's just because there's more people following that stuff in general.

#asks #mutuals #responses #bnha #bleach #there's a lot of opinions in here #if you don't like the opinions; feel free to scroll on by #thank you again for the ask #feel free to ask more if you want to

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 1 year

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reading a letter My Nemesis Curricular Guru Lucy Calkins posted to her facebook group after she announced she would be updating her curriculum to include phonics & remove antiphonetic decoding strategies [which to be clear is NOT the only problem with it just the one that's gotten enough media attention they feel they have to capitulate] when they were like "what? your curriculum includes phonics now? i feel confused and betrayed" and like. god i hate her.

For example, when a child is reading a sentence such as, "It was cold, so I put on my jacket," and the child gets stuck on jacket, we now suggest the teacher nudge by saying, "Look at the letters, have a go with that word," rather than saying, "Think about what's happening. What might the boy put on?" By prompting students to use phonics at that moment of challenge, we encourage them to apply and practice the phonics they know. We also know that when they use phonics to decode a word, they are more apt to add that word to their sight vocabulary.

so far, so ugh, fine, i GUESS - although please note that she does not say "regularly using phonics to decode words is the only way that readers will develop the skills to become proficient readers." also notice, if you will, how unbelievably fucking annoying every sentence this woman ever writes is. have a go with that word - shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but then we get:

Of course, the child may say something like jake-it in which case the teacher will need to follow up the phonics prompt with a prompt for meaning, "Does that make sense?" Then the child will use their understanding of the context to correct the mispronounced word so that they can fully comprehend the passage. This correction, too, adds to their phonics experience. That is, even when phonics is centered, meaning will never not be important, as the goal of reading is to understand and to learn.

AUGH!!!!! (1) i'm not saying no early reader in history has ever pronounced "jacket" as "jake-it" but it would be an unusual error to make given that children are taught the short vowels first and thus they are in my experience much more likely to incorrectly make a long vowel short than the other way around. (2) i hate this shit that the Balanced Literacy Is Fine Camp keeps pulling where they act like they're the only ones who give a shit if kids understand what they're reading. if you have not been watching these debates as something between catharsis and self-harm maybe this does not come across to you as infuriatingly smug and passive aggressive but i promise you it is!!!! (3) BUT THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS: yes readers including good readers do use context to confirm their decoding has been correct and/or to sort of tweak the set of sounds they have made to turn it into an actual word, because english is a(n unusually?) mushmouth-prone language and over time pronunciations have done things like blur vowel sounds a lot. maybe you pronounce DOC-TORE and then go back and tweak it to "doctor." maybe you move the stress around. maybe you realize "minute" as in time was actually "minute" as in small. maybe you try the "ow" sound as in "cow" instead of the "ow" sound as in "snow." all normal all good.

HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JACKET IS A PERFECTLY PHONETIC FUCKING WORD!!!!!!!!!!! a kid who mispronounces "jacket" as "jake-it" should not be coached to attend to context!!!! they should be taught or reminded (ideally with additional practice for reinforcement later on) that vowels before a "ck" are just about always fucking short!!!!!!! the fact that lucy thought this would be a reasonable example for a fix that would require context to discern is maybe the most unambiguous proof possible that she doesn't fucking know what she's talking about, and all her bullshit about "i too have been learning and growing [regarding findings that are decades old]" is in fact bullshit because she obviously has not fucking bothered with any of the zillions of dollars her curriculum makes to go get her own ass, or the asses of anyone working on this project, trained in phonics. i hate her!!!!!!!!

#PS please remember the person who wrote those sentences brands herself an expert on teaching kids to write #i find that i say one more time: So Offensive #EVERYTHING she writes sounds exactly that smug and pompous and punchably condescending #ALL OF IT. it's bananas.#anyway. the thing is that objectively i should go get a twitter with username like scienceofreadingluvr28297 #and tweet that shit there with some hashtags so i can find some people who give a shit to commiserate with #but when i think about making a twitter account i can almost physically feel like #ALL of my hard-won psychological stability starting to retreat #so instead. you guys get to hear me complaining about this until i guess the end of time.

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usaigi · 2 years

Text

Steven & Dad

Lunar sys au character cards | Read all chapters on ao3

cw: discussion of past abuse

A/N: Shoutout to this lovely meta-analysis on Judaism in MK by @fdelopera

“Not a lot of stars in the city,” dad says, taking the seat across from him at the picnic table.

“It’s a shame, innit it,” Steven responds.

“Hey Steven…” dad pauses, waiting for Steven to look at him. ”I wanted to thank you. For convincing the others to come.”

“Don’t thank me, therapy’s been a lot of help. You know, now Marc’s actually talking. Took him months before he even introduce himself to our therapist. And the bloke mostly just complains about the others to her, but still.”

“That sounds familiar,” dad chuckles.

“Whadya mean?”

“I used to bribe you guys with ice cream to talk in therapy.”

“Birdy did tell us about that. The first couple of sessions she fronted, she demanded a ‘treat’ afterward.” Took them several weeks to convince her she can just ask for a treat, she doesn’t need to do something triggering first.

“I… don’t want to overstep my boundaries but… What’s your goal in therapy?”

“‘Happiness after trauma.’ Working together as a system and integration. Mostly communication at this point. We’re getting better at it though. Not perfect, Daniela did empty our suitcase and replaced it with her stuff because she hates how I dress. But we’ve come a long way considering we didn’t even know we were a system a year ago.”

“Integration? As in integrating into one?” He asks surprised, taken aback slightly. “Which is great if that’s what–”

“No! No, no,” Steven jumps slightly, aggressively shaking his head and hands. “At least, I don’t want to fuse with anyone, I don’t think the others really want that at the moment either. Integration as in breaking down the amnesia walls and increasing communication. Fusion is when two alters fuse into one.”

“Sorry, just confused about the terminology. And how are you doing with that?”

“Better. But it’s not like I have any trauma to work through, I just support the others. When we first started going, we thought it was just Marc and me in the body. He wanted nothing to do with therapy but agreed to let me go as long as I didn’t mention anything about him or DID. So I did; talked about mum. Grieving someone I thought I knew, someone who never existed. I couldn’t talk about her with Marc without upsetting him so,” he shrugs.

“How do you remember her?”

“Kind. Loving. She was always crying but in my memories, always thought they were tears of love or something.”

Dad frowns at that before saying, “I wouldn’t say you don’t have trauma. Your mother was sick, even without the alcohol. She’d go through a period of being… ‘okay’ but even then… she wasn’t. It was love bombing. I’m guessing that’s what you remember of her, just without the abuse context. She’d cry and beg you for forgiveness, promised she’d get help, spend all afternoon cooking your favorite dishes, buy you gifts and CDs.

“It was also abuse. It was still trauma. It was a method of control, not to show affection,” he says with a tense voice. Dad’s shoulders are rounded, hands are clasped together, visibly uncomfortable.

“How long did it take you to recognize that?” Steven asks.

“Not until she died. Not until I started therapy,” dad lets out a hollow laugh. “So you were going to work through your grief and Marc gave you the okay to talk about the DID somewhere along the way?”

“Not quite. Birdy and Daniela worked together to try to sabotage me even going to the sessions. They’d make me miss my bus, or miss my stop, or cancel my appointments. Then the therapist met Birdy by accident when she got triggered to the front. She’s excellent at masking as Marc but bloody awful at imitating my accent. So the ruse was up.

“They asked me if I knew about DID/OSDD and offered me a referral with a specialist. Eventually, the others came around to the idea of therapy.”

“You didn’t have an accent growing up. Sometimes, your teachers and others would mention that you’d slip into an English accent after particularly bad panic attacks but not regularly. I thought it was like a joke, almost like you were trying to make yourself laugh. When did you… become British?”

“Layla asked the same thing. I think my accent was internal until recently because I always remember being British. I think I just ‘translated’ everything into ‘British’ in my head. Like I don’t remember speaking Spanish at home, in my head we were all English.” A typical English family who ate tostones and frijoles negros instead of beans on toast. “What are you working on in therapy?”

“Grief. Responsibility. Acceptance. Moving on. Forgiveness.”

“Do you talk about mum?”

“I do. I don't think Marc would care to talk about it.”

“I’m not Marc,” he reminds him. Dad just nods at that.

“‘Free will is granted to every man. If he desires to incline towards the good way and be righteous, he has the power to do so; and if he desires to incline towards the unrighteous way and be a wicked man, he also has the power to do so. Give no place in your minds to that which is asserted by many of the ignorant: namely that the Holy One, blessed be He, decrees that a man from his birth should be either righteous or wicked,’” dad recites a familiar passage.

“Maimonides?”

“Good. I was worried you’d forgotten,” he smiles proudly. “I don’t think your mother was a ‘bad person.’ As in, she didn’t come into this world as evil. She was a child who escaped from war, who lost her son, and proceed to take her pain out on you. She’s merely a reflection of her own actions and the damage it caused.

“But if her birthright was not to be ‘bad,’ that also means that she could have been good. She was capable of change. We’re all capable of change. My problem was thinking I was responsible for her change because in the process I hurt you all.”

“You had good intentions.”

“It doesn’t matter. You still had to deal with the consequences and that’s not fair.”

It wasn’t fair. It isn’t fair. And that will forever be his father’s greatest mistake.

“Marc can’t see it like that. I think he internalized a lot of what mum said. He struggles to not see people as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ Like, he’s bad because of what happened, Daniela is bad because she’s cruel, Jake is bad because he’s a liar, I’m good because I have to be.

“Got into an… argument of sorts with some a bit ago. Over the idea of eliminating an evil doer before they get the chance to commit the evil. I argued that in judging someone for a hypothetical crime, they’re in fact judging an innocent person.

“I don’t think Marc believes people can change, fundamentally. Or at least, he doesn’t think he can change. He thinks he’s destined to bring pain to those around him and for that he must be punished. But he’s not, he’s worthy of forgiveness. He’s made mistakes but they’re that, mistakes.”

They’re probably more mistakes on earth than grains of sand in the Arabian Desert or stars in the galaxy but are those not the consequences of free will?

“What do you think? About forgiveness?” Dad asks after a minute of silent reflection.

“I have to believe it’s possible. Seeing yourself as irredeemable is just defeatist and makes it so that you don’t have to do the hard work to change yourself. I don’t think it’s another person's responsibility to forgive you for your mistakes but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try,” he says looking up towards the stars.

----

They were still at the house for whatever reason. Layla got a work call and excused herself to answer it, leaving them alone in the house until she returns and they can all head back to the hotel. It seems like everyone is exhausted since Jake’s the only one in the body.

So he goes out to the backyard, leans against the cold brick wall, and removes one of his gloves to light a cigarette.

“Smoking’s bad for you,” Jake hears as Elias walks towards. He sides and eyes him, taking another puff of his cigarette, the nerve of him to tell them what’s bad for him. “I’m guessing you’re Jake?” he shrugs.

Elias leans against the wall beside him, leaving a good couple of feet between them. Out of courtesy or out of fear, he wonders. There's no way Elias hasn’t figured that he was the bad one, the angry one, who would have screaming matches with him growing up.

“I never got the chance to thank you… For protecting everyone, for keeping them alive. You’re a good son,” Elias says and Jake’s taken aback. The title of ‘good son’ should only be reserved for Kid, for Steven, for Marc. Certainly not him.

“Thanks,” is all he says.

“How long are you in town for?”

“Another week.”

“I’m assuming I never got a chance to take you to temple with me. Do you… want to join me for temple tomorrow?” Elias asks with a polite smile, surely out of some disingenuous fatherly duty.

Jake nods.

#moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #usaigi speaks #marvel #layla el faouly #elias spector #mk lunar sys

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verratensduo · 1 year

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A drabble based on my rp with @the-silver-peahen-residence for Terry and Eren (I will try to reply to our threads soon I promise)

—-

Eren ran out onto the field with the rest of his little league team. One of Terry’s friends had to drop him off here, but Terry had promised to be there after his business meeting. He had promised to be sure that it did not run long or at least that it did not run overtime. Eren was excited to show his skills to Terry. The boy had been surprised how easy it was to get Terry to agree to little league soccer, but then again his anger management had been coming along great. So perhaps it had been to reward him.

Eren looked to the stands expectantly, but his heart sank. He couldn’t see Terry anywhere. He looked back to the field somewhat bitterly. He should have known, that stupid company took Terry’s time, even when Terry had promised it would be a day for them, they called him in. He didn’t know why he bothered getting his hopes up. He would just be playing soccer, and albeit with his friends, he had so badly wanted Terry to be there. For them to have something to share being proud of Eren over, yeah he did good in school, but that hardly made him proud. School was easy. He hardly struggled.

Sports on the other hand, those where hard. And Terry had missed his last two Karate tournaments. Two, and those were all day. He sighed and shook his head depressed. He better focus on the game. He could see the look on coach Hans’s face. The man knew how Eren had looked over there and for who. He gave him a thumbs up to let him know he could still play.

His friends Armin, Connie, Marco and well, his rival Jean were all counting on him. They where a few wins away from the play offs. Then they could very well be in the county finals. That would be exciting. But they had to win this first. A tie would not do. Nor would a loss, only a win for them qualified. Especially since their record would not justify a spot in the wild card tournament.

The instant the whistle sounded, Eren was game. He had learned to tone down his aggression a lot since he started playing, but he was neck and neck with the other team’s captain, the older Reiner Braun. The two where in some heated completion for the ball.

The two teams went back and forth, winding up tied at half time. Eren said nothing as he sipped his Gatorade and munched on his healthy snack.

“Eren get your head in this, we need to win, and you are our best goal kicker!” Jean hissed at him. “We only need one more goal to win!” Well that was easier said than done of course. But Jean was being Jean.

“Stick it horse face.” Eren said not looking up at him. He was still upset that Terry was not there. He definitely was not in the mood for Jean being Jean.

“Eren you should be nicer.” Marco chastised and then looked to Jean. “And you get off Eren. He is just having an off day. It happens to the best of us.”

That was when a new, yet familiar voice joined the fray.

“Come on Eren, a tie? I know you can play better than that.”

Eren’s eyes widened as he stood up and turned. Sure enough, there stood Terry, with their dog Ace on a leash. When had he gotten there?

“Terry!” Eren ran to him and hugged him after Terry picked him up and spun him around. “When did you get here?”

“Tail end of the half. Sorry kid, stopped at home to change and Ace just had to come, then the dang car broke down on the way here. So we had to run the rest of the way.” Okay that last part was a lie. He had to stop and become Batman and stop a crime real quick, but Eren was still important, so he made it there on time. “Now, I know the field sides have changed, going downfield gives you the advantage. Get back out there and show them who Eren is.”

Eren nodded. “Yes Terry, can we get Ice Cream in the way home?” The boy asked as he looked up at him.

“Of course. Wouldn’t be a sports day without it.” Terry nodded and ruffled Eren’s hair.

“With sprinkles?”

“Only if you win kiddo. Sprinkles are for winners.” Terry knew it would give Eren the extra motivation he needed to win.

“Then sit back and watch me get three goals!” Eren declared and hurried back onto the field.

Ace then looked up at Terry with a whine.

“I know Ace, but I believe in Eren. He is a good boy, and excellent soccer player.” Terry assured the dog and petted him as he watched Eren take the field and lead the charge. With any luck, he would owe the boy ice cream with sprinkles soon.

#drabble #Batman beyond au #this was fun

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multistoty · 2 years

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@three-sons

Ben would be lying if he were to say that he wasn’t intrigued by the man across from him as southern draw wrote stories at the edges of his lips in an endearing and alluring sort of way.He was a mess of onyx hair, emerald glittering eyes, and bitten lips, beautiful in a way only broken things could be. For all of the heirs here were certainly that. People forced into adulthood before their time expected to superhumanly handle everything of an empire. They were happy.Invite the lie to play until you become so comfortable with it that it feels like the truth. And he wasn’t complaining about the finer points, but there was always an opportunity cost and that had to encompass the loss of actual parental care and interest beyond legacy and dollar signs.The air was full of salt and secrets as power players threw around their weight.Everything’s was a game with these types of people.The only thing you get to decide in this life is if you play to win.As awful as it sounds, money is power, and power is magnetic.The more complicated a person’s strategy seemed, the less likely an opponent was to look for simple answers. If you could keep someone looking at your knight, you could take them with a pawn. Look past the details. Past the complications. Duke looked like a freshly woken storm, or a beautiful nightmare come to life so he could personally haunt him. And he was used to being in charge of love, but just a look and a listen to his accented verbage had made him begin to pine.Everyone had things they found inexplicably attractive. Apparently, for Ben Prometheus it was suit-wearing, green-eyed guys using the word ‘empirically’ and taking for granted that he knew what it meant.He didn't move, didn't blink, wasn't physically aggressive in any way, but he bled power, and he knew it.What fun is it playing by other people's rules? The morality of an action depends, ultimately and only, on its outcomes.Words are such unpredictable creatures.No gun, no sword, no army or king will ever be more powerful than a sentence. Swords may cut and kill, but words will stab and stay, burying themselves in our bones to become corpses we carry into the future, all the time digging and failing to rip their skeletons from our flesh.Hope.It's like a drop of honey, a field of tulips blooming in the springtime. It's a fresh rain, a whispered promise, a cloudless sky, the perfect punctuation mark at the end of a sentence. And it's the only thing in the world keeping him afloat. His eyes are professional pickpockets as he leans further back into the grand chairs of the fancy gala. Failing to remember any other goal then attempting to woo the most handsome man he had ever seen or at least pique his interest. Every butterfly in the world has migrated to her stomach.“Heads, I kiss you. Tails, you kiss me. And either way, it means something.” Ben grinned as the words fell from his upturned mouth without parachutes. They had been brushing eachother far closer than necessary for the last few minutes and he smelled like spice and sweetness in a way that felt alluring and begged you to look beyond the surface. Still, the words gave a chance for consent. He also may or may not have elegantly swiped it from where he had been fiddling with it. “It would be a real shame for you to be sitting here alone when your mind is as lovely as your facial features. Thank goodness that I am here to keep you company, my beacon.”

#sorry this is so bad

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trans-wojak · 2 years

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People often think “that will never happen to me” about domestic violence and abusive relationships. Or maybe you think you’ll pick up the red flags and get out of there before it gets bad. But what if I told you this is often not how it works?

People who’s goal is to abuse do so in very insidious ways through subtle manipulative behaviour and tactics. Often times they are so subtle you don’t notice, and if you do, it’s so minimal that you start to feel like you’re wrong for being upset. This is part of the abuse tactic; creating the illusion that you, for being rightfully concerned or upset over something - should be doubted. This self doubt creates insecurity and thus makes us rely on the abuser for more reassurance. This creates a power imbalance early on and the abuser is purposely doing this to instil self doubt and insecurity, slowing breaking down your spirit. We have all heard of abusers cutting off their victims from friends and family but what if I told you that’s true but it’s a bit more complex? They don’t start off by saying you can’t see anyone. Hell, many times they don’t even say you are not allowed to see other people, instead they may punish you through manipulative negative reinforcement, silent treatment etc. Maybe after seeing your family (who can at times stress you out) they will slowly try to convince you that you’re better off not spending as much time together. For your own good of course.

I have dyscalculia so I struggle with numbers and this made me struggle with budgeting originally. My ex, told me he would help me budget by helping me watch where I spend my money. Sounds so kind doesn’t it? Let me help you by helping you decide where money goes. Then it slowly becomes “why did you purchase this? You don’t need it”. Then slowly that turns into “you bought this without my permission?!” Even tho it’s YOUR money and it wasn’t an outlandish expense but because it wasn’t a needed thing and because it didn’t benefit the abuser, he’s going to guilt trip you. Many times people who are victims at this point may have thoughts that this is wrong but since they haven’t hit you and it’s more just a string of weird behaviour - remember that self doubt we talked about earlier? Yeah well that is helpful to the abuser now because while you finally start thinking something is not good, you have already been riddled with self doubt about your own emotions and intuition. The place an abuser wants you in is called learned helplessness. It’s the ultimate abuser goal. Victims with learned helplessness are often severely depressed and anxious, to the point they can barely function. The learned helplessness can cause a catatonic state, something that is seen in severe mental health cases. Abusers purposely try to get you into a learned helplessness state because they have the most manipulative control over you that way. But learned helplessness also makes the victim far more dependent on their abuser. When abusers enforce manipulative tactics to destroy your self esteem, they will push boundaries more because they get bored. They want to see just how far you can be treated and still be loyal. This can manifest into violent behaviour, threats, destroying property. They might not hit or hurt you at this stage but they may. This is them reaching their peak of being an abuser. This is where they now create a vicious cycle of repetitive aggression against the victim, resolve the situation by false promises/apology and then goes on to not change. The abuser may love bomb you, shower you with affection after this period to continue more established manipulative control or, they may withhold affection to teach you “your place.” My psychiatrist explained that abusive relationships are like putting a frog in a pot of water and slowly boiling it. The frog will stay in the pot and slowly die. But if you put the same frog in a boiling pot of water, it would jump out. You have to do it slowly otherwise the victim will run. You have to create the illusion that the victims reality of feeling hurt is to be doubted and filled with insecurities so that then the abuser can be the one calling the shots. The lack of self confidence translates into not believing your own reality and you can question your sanity because of the way the abuser will try to make you feel wrong about feeling upset over controlling, manipulative behaviours. Or aggression.

#tw abuse #tw dv #domestic violent relationships #my thoughts #abusive relationships

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