#it's not a conscious thing but with one of them i'm way more conservative than the other | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pugwitharug · 5 months

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Hello! I really want to make a last legacy request, my LL OC is chubby/fat but I'm not real good to explain how the m4 would react to MC being self conscious/uncomfortable in their body.

(ignore the fact that I've had this in my inbox since literally Christmas--)

(by god I will pull myself out of my writing burnout if it's the last thing I ever do--)

Don't you worry my sweet anon, I got you covered

Content Warning: Mentions of negative body image, no specifics on what their body actually looks like

GN Reader, oof this may be really out of character but we're gonna do it anyways, some hurt and lot of comfort, the one thing all the LIs know how to do is give you love

Felix Iskandar Escellun

Felix isn't one for vanity, but he is one for the gothic aesthetic, so you bet he has one of those huge standing mirrors with the most ornate gold-leafed steel frame next to his wardrobe

It's one of the many gorgeous things in his room (not including him heheheheheheh) and it's something you find yourself staring at a lot

You normally do your best to not look at the actual mirror part, but today, your eyes seem drawn towards your body. You're not wearing anything revealing, your fashion style is more conservative by Earth's standards, but you focus a lot on the parts of your body you hate

Your own eyes feel like claws, rending bleeding wounds through your skin. Voices crawl into the back of your head. Ugly. Disgusting. Unlovable. They're hard to block out

You wrap your arms around your stomach, tears stinging the back of your eyes, and you find yourself unable to tear away from the mirror. As gorgeous as the mirror is, in this moment, you want to smash it into pieces

It's now when Felix walks in and sees you shaking in front of the mirror, the tears now starting to roll down your cheeks. He rushes over to you and pulls his cloak off, throwing it over the mirror and pulling you out of your stupor

Once he's sure the mirror is fully covered, he hugs you tightly, rubbing small circles on your back. He whispers comforting words in your ear, refuting everything the voices in your head are saying as if he can hear them himself

It's sort of true, for him. There were times where he felt disgusted by his body, feeling like he's an imposter in a dead person's body. He knows what you're feeling, and he hates that you feel that way about yourself

If he could take all those feelings out, he would. But for now, he's here to help and tell you how much he loves you

Anisa Anka

Being with Anisa has taught you that she can be strong with her opinions about you. Specifically, all the good opinions she has about you

She knows about your self-image issues, and she doesn't blame you for having them!

.....okay, that sounds a little wrong. She doesn't think that you're being dumb or irrational for having those thoughts. Your feelings are valid, and she's here to help you with that

Case in point: the two of you are doing some shopping through the town. Anisa has a free day, and the two of you just wanted to walk around town and see if anything catches your eye

You walk past a fancy dress shop and stop at the window to gawk at the newest dress. It's a gorgeous baby blue color, with white trim and pleating. It's a dress that you would die to have

As you're imagining yourself wearing the dress, your eyes flick over to your reflection in the mirror, and your dreams slowly begin to shatter. Compared to the beauty that is Anisa and the gorgeous dress, how dare you stand next to them. How dare you think you belong in the same space as them

You look away from the window and start to walk away, heart heavy with regret. Anisa notices and gently grabs your wrist, asking what's wrong

There's nothing wrong, you say. You're just ready to move on

Of course, Anisa knows you better than that. She grabs both of your hands and squeezes them comfortingly, reassuring you that those thoughts in your head? Garbage. And you know where they belong? In the trash, out of your fantastic brain and gorgeous body

And by the gods, she's gonna see you in that dress, and she's gonna see you smile

Sage Lesath

Sage never really had body image issues, to be honest. All of the negative feelings he's had about himself are about his actual self, not about his physical body. That being said, he absolutely understand having those negative thoughts about yourself

One of the main ways those negative thoughts materialize in real life is that you always wear pajamas to go to sleep. Full pants and mostly long-sleeve shirts, only wearing short-sleeves if it's really hot. It's in large contrast to Sage's underwear-only sleep style

He's asked a couple times if you ever wanted to try something like a nightgown or wearing shorts, but you've always turned them down. Since it was clear you weren't comfortable with those ideas, he's left you and your sleepwear choices be

One night, you're both getting ready to sleep. He's taking off his clothes, you're putting yours on--or, at least, you're trying to. For some reason, you can't find your last clean pair of pajamas

Did you accidentally put it in the dirty laundry? You rifle through the dirty clothes, scrunching up your nose a little, but you can't find them

Were they shoved into the back of the closet? You get on your tiptoes and feel all against the wooden back, but you can't feel them

At this point, you start to get a little frantic. You need those pajamas. You can't just sleep without them. If you don't, you'll feel your body, Sage will feel your body. Your actual body, your actual skin. Oh, how disgusted he will be

Sage asks you what's wrong, and you try to collect yourself and explain that you can't find your pajamas, but you can't stop the tears from coming and your voice from breaking. Your arms instinctively wrap around yourself, trying to hide from his worried view

He reaches out and pulls you up against him, tucking your head into the crook of his neck. His soft hair tickles your nose as he whispers reassurances in your ear

He doesn't entirely understand how you can hate such a gorgeous and divine body like yours, but he's here for you nonetheless. Whatever you want him to do to make you comfortable, he will do it, and he will show you his love in his own way

Mainly through worship. He's a worshipper. We all know this

Rime Solano Varela

I'm gonna be honest, I don't think he really cares about your body like that. He cares about you, of course, but he doesn't give that much thought into what you look like. He's more interested in who you are as a person

Even so, he does understand wanting to feel comfortable in your own skin. He wears what he does because it gives the small sensation of being comfortable, and so he wants that for you too

One day, you're doing some spring cleaning around the house and are clearing out your shared closet. You're pulling out your clothes that you don't wear anymore to put in a donate pile to give it to people less fortunate than you

You're separating your Astraea-bought clothes from your Earth-bought clothes, not entirely sure if you can give away your Earth clothes, when your eyes catch one of the tags on your shirt. There's at least three letters on there, and most of them are X's

You look at all of your Earth shirts. All of them say the same thing. All of them have those damn X's and L's. No M's or S's in sight

Compared to Rime's clothes, which better fit his smaller body, yours look...grotesque. They clearly don't belong here. You clearly don't belong here

You grab all your clothes and throw them as far as you can in a fit of rage that fizzles out into sadness. You stand there, shaking, eyes welling up with tears, stuck where you are with the voices in the back of your head

Hearing the commotion, Rime comes in to check on you. Seeing the clothes strewn about, you standing still in the middle of the room, and knowing your struggles with your body image, it isn't hard for him to piece together what happened

He says your name as he walks over to you, and you don't even get to look over at him before he claps both his hands on your cheeks. As you're trying to recover from the shock, he starts talking

He really doesn't give a shit about what you look like, or what clothes you wear. They're insignificant. Literally just pieces of fabric. The only thing he cares about is you, and you need to start doing that too

His normally icy expression softens as he takes a deep breath, trying to switch gears a little. He just wants you to be comfortable in your own body, and he knows it's easier said than done, but he wants to help you

So let's not focus on what you have and go get something you like, okay? He doesn't know how much longer he can stand seeing you look at yourself like that

#last legacy #fictif #puggo answers #anon asks #thank you for requesting!!!#my writing #felix iskandar escellun #felix escellun x reader #anisa anka #anisa anka x reader #sage lesath #sage lesath x reader #rime solano varela #rime solano varela x reader

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thesiridahl · 1 year

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Hello

I'm writing this message after having seen the documentary on netflix. I am really far from being a fan but I wanted to sincerely support you in your fight. I know how hard it must be for you. Women don't end up in porn for no reason and being deprived of income is something inhuman.I think that many women who end up in this business have been in complicated situations and not all of them chose this path for pleasure.Many people don't realize how much pain this can be for you and unfortunately, once you get in there, I am aware of the fear you may feel. Finding a job in a store or in another field can become complicated. I wanted to write you this message. I can only support you and hope that your rights will be better defended in the future. I wish you all the best and outside of porn of course. You are human and you deserve respect.

I wish you a great day.

This was an interesting Ask I received about the Netflix documentary. There's a lot of subtext to unpack here, so I'm going to answer a few of the Asker's statements individually.

I'm writing this message after having seen the documentary on netflix. I am really far from being a fan but I wanted to sincerely support you in your fight.

Thank you! I'm thrilled that so many people have seen the documentary. More than 13 million people in 65 countries have watched it, and it's been in the Top Ten on Netflix in dozens of countries since the day it came out. It's totally up to you whether you consider yourself a fan of mine. Thank you for clarifying that you're not, I guess? (lol)

I know how hard it must be for you. Women don't end up in porn for no reason and being deprived of income is something inhuman.

I did not "end up" here. I didn't slip on a banana peel. I made a conscious and informed choice to do porn. I love my work, and it can be challenging and stressful sometimes, like any other job. But I've never thought of it as "hard" in the way that you seem to imply with this comment. I genuinely love what I do, so even when it's stressful, I still enjoy it. And I agree that it's dehumanizing to have my livelihood attacked and potentially compromised by outsiders who don't understand how the industry functions, and don't value my work.

I think that many women who end up in this business have been in complicated situations and not all of them chose this path for pleasure.

There it is again. "End up." I hope you realize how patronizing that sounds. People choose to work in the adult industry for all of the same reasons that they might choose any other job. The pursuit of pleasure is a factor in many performers' choice to work in porn, of course. Money is also a big one. Because generally when you do a job, you want to be paid for it. That's how jobs work. I don't think that's problematic, or a reason to feel pity for sex workers.

Many people don't realize how much pain this can be for you and unfortunately, once you get in there, I am aware of the fear you may feel.

I'm not in pain, nor am I afraid for my safety. Maybe you meant that in a more general sense, but I do take offense to anybody making the assumption that sex workers are inherently afraid and in pain. The only thing I'm really "afraid" of is the speed at which the United States is careening toward a religious, conservative, fascist dictatorship.

Finding a job in a store or in another field can become complicated.

Yes, it can be, but only because of the stigma against sex workers. The more recognizable you are as a porn performer, the harder it might be to find a job outside of the adult industry, should you desire to. That being said, I worked "civilian" jobs during my 5 year retirement, and fortunately for me, I never had any real issues. I was recognized a few times, and one of my former coworkers tried to report me to HR for literally just existing, but I was never fired or treated poorly by an employer.

I can only support you and hope that your rights will be better defended in the future. I wish you all the best and outside of porn of course.

If you wish me the best outside of porn but not in it, then you don't wish me the best. When you word it like that, you sound like a sex work "abolitionist."

You are human and you deserve respect.

I am, and I do. And all sex workers deserve respect, too.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

#siri dahl #money shot: the pornhub story #netflix #ask me anything #anon ask #anon answered

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terresdebrume · 4 months

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11, 18, and 19, any ship with Lieb please!

[From Ship Ask Game: The Basics]

Hi, and thank you for the ask! Sorry for the delay, I had to drive to my vacation place and I quite forgot about this ask in favor of the swimming pool^^" I'm going to do this with Webgott, which will probably surprise no one who's been on this blog for the past couple weeks :P

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

So I don't think David grew up with pet names. I tend to imagine his family as more formal & conservative, which is why it suits him fine that Lieb isn't terribly big on them either. (He does call Lieb Liebling or occasionally Liebe though, because it's a connection to the second language they share and also it's such an easy connection to make that Joe rolls his eyes every time.) But then one day Lieb calls him some kind of pet name, most likely in bed, and it turns out David actually really likes them, especially from Lieb. Lieb thinks it's a kink thing and there's a bit of that, but mostly it's the connection and intimacy that comes with it which David can't get enough of.

Meanwhile, Joe (who did very much grow up in a pet names, or at least fond nicknames family) makes fun of David every time he calls him any variation of Liebe but also privately loves it and definitely feels the sting when they have a spat and David only calls him Joe/Lieb. The reason he doesn't use pet names for David at first is because he's trying to safeguard himself (like, even in a modern AU: David is 7 years younger and much richer and they don't exactly start in the smoothest way so it seems safer to expect something to go wrong) Until the fateful day when he calls David something like 'sweetheart' or 'princess'...and having the excuse of it being a kink thing (I imagine Joe sticks with pet names in the same vein time for a long while before he abandons the pretense of kink) makes it easier for him to get more secure in the lasting power an their relationship and get more casual but also more creative (because using unusual names like 'little shark' makes David snort but also it's easier to be goofy than it is to be sincere) I don't know if he'd move to more classical nicknames after that. I think it could go either way tbh.

Also, I think they would both be the type to also make a note of the nicknames the other genuinely dislikes (but doesn't really hate) so that they can use them when they want to be a little shit.

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

Joe immediately goes into caretaker mode. He makes soup, cuddles, fusses with the blankets, and only starts being sarcastic about it once David is on the mend from whatever it was, however minor.

Because of the background I imagine for David in terms of reaction to illness, I think he'd be a lot more indirect about it. He badgers Joe into going to see the doctor (Yes, it's worth spending the money), rereads their insurance policies and orders the meds from the pharmacy. He makes sure to be quiet and does what he can to keep the household running while Joe's incapacitated (it does involve ordering some chicken soup).

I figure the first time either of them gets sick is a rocky step in their relationship, especially if it happens early on, because David doesn't know how to be vaguely courteous when he's sick (like when he has a headache, he has to make a conscious effort not to be an ass if Joe makes too much noise while making him something to eat, for example) and Joe doesn't immediately realize David isn't actually indifferent (he's just used to someone's absence being the sign they're trying to be considerate) but once they figure things out they learn to acomodate each other: David does the insurances papers with Joe's head on his lap, and Joe keeps his chatter quieter than usual.

And then they realize they both love it when the other reads to them and it's pretty much smooth sailing from there.

19. Do they wear each other’s clothes/jewelry?

I think one of David's greatest tragedies is that if he tries to wear Joe's stuff he stretches it out and makes it unwearable, which means he can't just steal stuff from Joe's wardrobe whenever he wants.

On the other hand, Joe doesn't feel comfortable enough in David's style of clothing to steal anything from him except the ratty old Harvard sweatshirt that David keeps pointing out is full of holes and stains, because the cat climbs on it and Joe wears the damn thing every time he does any kind of DIY in the colder months.

Joe usually has a bunch of projects going on in December, right before David goes to visit his parents for the holidays, at which point the sweatshirt mysteriously disappears until the next time David starts a load of laundry.

#almost a class act #Assbox adventures #Assbox Games #Band of Brothers #David Webster #Joe Liebgott #Webgott #I can have more than one ship in a fandom #But I rarely ship a character in multiple different relationships #I can read it no issues #I just don't generally go for it myself #So except on request you're most likely not going to see Joe x Anyone but Webster on this blog

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razzamult · 6 months

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insert witty title

Being an ally is a interesting thing, growing up in a conservative family i've often wondered where my unconscious biases are, how do i spot them if i'm not conscious of them? How do I learn what I need to unlearn? For me, it's been a journey. I got into queer communities via furry twitch during the pandemic (and yes, i'll wear the Furry label). 2020 was one of the times ever. we all wanted some form of interaction with people even if it was just to know that other people still existed and we weren't living out some 'book of eli' lone survivor scenario. Being stuck at home, the obvious answer was the internet, but reading text posts on reddit & news articles doesn't have that same level of interaction....and then i found twitch. ooooh....i can pet the furry streamer....and chat with them.....and this is ticking boxes in very weird ways....learning what 'parasocial' means....it was a wild ride (and still is)! Part of this was joining discord communities and getting to know people a bit better, and as someone who had just come into those communities who didn't understand a lot of queer culture and history and just wanted people to hang out with while the world burned down outside my door....it was scary! was I going to say something wrong? do something wrong? offend someone? what if i get banned?

Obviously that didn't happen, and the communities i joined were actually great places, warm & welcoming, gave people room to explore & understand, we shared memories and created new ones together. But I wanted to do better than that, I wanted to understand better what terms like enby and ace meant, terms I hadn't heard growing up or in school, I'd seen the terms on the internet in the past, but never had cause to look into it myself at the time. Learning is a dangerous thing, you discover things that challenge you, asking you to question your beliefs and preconceptions, but I knew if i wanted to be a better ally I needed to learn some things, challenge myself to understand and embrace it (whatever the answer is). so i started buying books. It was extremely convenient that at the time there happened to be an lgbtqia+ bookshop next to the train station where i was working, picked up a few things, understood some terms better, got a better handle on some ideas, asked some discord friends to clarify some terms. Then i bought this:

I'd seen people use the aroace tag on discord and twitch and wanted to learn more and I WAS NOT PREPARED TO READ A BOOK ABOUT ME. Ok, so i've been single my whole life, and never felt like dating, and don't want to have sex, and there was one point where i was wondering if I could RP with a fursona....but that whole concept just ended up feeling way too weird and never got onto the runway and basically exploded in the hanger... I wasn't ready to find out that I was part of the A in LGBTQIA+, I was supposed to be an ally not an allee?....is that even a word??....i decree this is a word. After the initial bout of confusion and wtf-ness, i've come to accept the label, it doesn't change who i am, but i does help myself & others to understand me better. I'm still pondering microlabels, leaning toward aegosexual (unless i find an even better match), but happy to live under the a-spec umbrella.

Learning is scary! you can find out that you were wrong for your whole life, that you're not in fact weird or broken in some way for not "getting" relationships like so many others, but that you are in fact perfectly fine. Finding out that i'm part of the queer community really highlights how i see other people's actions toward it....I get it now, maybe i don't get "all" of it still, but I do get a lot more of it. It's given me a lot to think about. So thank you furry twitch for giving me the space to learn about myself, and thank you Sarah & Kayla for the awesome book!

I'm an aroace ferret and that's ok! and yes, i do like garlic bread.

#asexual #book review #garlic bread is good #thankyou internet friends

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theconstitutionisgayculture · 1 year

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If you’ll humor a poor elderly 28 year old for a bit, I’ve been mad for the past few days and I’d like to vent to someone. The newest Fire Emblem game came out, and since I’ve been Touhou-dodging spoilers, I only just recently looked up the actors for the game. And I found out that they replaced a long-time voice actor for a staple character (Anna), and people were celebrating because the actress is conservative (and like not even VISIBLY conservative, she doesn’t talk politics at ALL) (1)

(2) So people are celebrating her being replaced, right? Well her replacement actress is a “Believe All Victims” woman who suddenly decided not to believe all victims when it was revealed her fiancé is a twice-divorced domestic abuser who has recorded threats of killing one wife’s dog and threatening the other (or the same one, details are fuzzy) that he’d beat her with a TV remote. And she actively defended him and is still engaged to him. (2, I swear 3 will be the last one)

(3) And I know this is a phenomenon that we KNOW is hypocritical bullshit, but I still feel compelled to ask: how are people so vitriolic over someone’s politics that they’d willingly take someone worse? Like… I absolutely don’t care about someone’s politics, so long as they’re not assholes. One of my favorite actors who has a sexy-as-fuck voice is one of those far-left types, I could not give less of a shit so long as he’s not a douchebag or a literal criminal.

First off, exCUSE you with that elderly 28 year old crap. As a 35 year old who just got over turning 30, you shut your youthful, radiant mouth. Enjoy your 20s. Be grateful each day to be further away from your teens.

Now to your actual ask, lol

I'm gonna be making some of assumptions of motivation here, because I can't actually read minds, but for most of these people, it's seems to be because nothing matters more than The Cause. The thing is, The Cause is always changing. Sometimes, The Cause is general left wing politics. In that case, they'll usually ignore or excuse things like abuse or misogyny if they had already previously supported the person accused of those things against an Evil Conservative. (see, Joe Biden killing #MeToo, Bill Clinton raping Juanita Broaddrick, Ted Kennedy and the Car That Wouldn't Stay Out of the Water, etc). Sometimes, The Cause is feminism, in which case being a Democrat or a liberal who does the Wrong Thing might not protect them if they're a man. (See, Johnny Depp) Sometimes The Cause is transgenderism, is which case it doesn't matter how feminist or left wing you are, you must be destroyed for not enthusiastically supporting every aspect of trans rights activism or even associating with anyone who doesn't support every aspect of trans rights activism in even the most tangential ways (see, JK Rowling, Mark Hamill, TERFs in general).

The left, especially the socially conscious left, love eating their own. Their entire movement revolves around punishing the guilty and obsessively checking themselves and others for thoughtcrimes. That kind of frothing mob mentality doesn't leave much room for common sense or self-reflection. Which is exactly what the people at the top pushing these ideas want.

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the-yuri-librarian · 3 months

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Can I ask, why do you love WLW romance better than Het romance? What makes them better? I did not mean anything negative, and I know everyone have their own like and dislike but I want to know your thoughts....

Also what do you think that made Asian WLW (GL manga/manhwa/manhua) romances different than western WLW romances?

This is a very good question on both fronts!

Answering the first part is easy: I prefer WLW relationships because I'm a lesbian. That's sort of all there is to it? Like, on some level, I have only been reading WLW novels for the past several years (and WLW comics since Sept '23), because hetero relationships in fiction have sort of dominated culture my whole life? I can't name a movie or a book series off hand from my childhood/teen years that did not contain a straight relationship. I would genuinely have to think about it. But, when I graduated from grad school for the first time and started to connect with reading on a level I hadn't since I was a kid-early teen, I made this very conscious decision to focus really really heavily on sapphic fiction, even more so than trans fiction even though I am trans, too. I think part of this is because I just wanted to see myself represented in the works I am reading. Another part of this is I relate more to sapphic romances. For all my life, I have only ever loved women as a woman, and that makes straight romances feel somewhat foreign to me? I think maybe it's because the way relationships are talked about in queer culture versus the way relationships are talked about in straight culture; it feels very different, though I don't have an example offhand to point to. On top of that, there is also a lot of historical precedent for lesbians feeling like their sexuality and their gender identity are somewhat meshed or intersected (if you want to know more I'd have to do like actual research lol), and I think I definitely feel that. The lesbian label is really important for me, and I think that importance draws me to WLW fiction

In terms of what makes eastern and western comics/yuri/sapphic romances different, I think that you could write an entire dissertation on this (but I'll try not to lol). Now, I am by no means an expert on Japanese or Korean cultural studies, in fact I am far from that, but I think the way the romances play out really highlights the way their cultures function differently from cultures in the west. Firstly, I think that eastern cultures place a much higher focus on cultural expectations. I would not say that eastern cultures are necessarily more conservative than western cultures (I mean, just look at any news coming out of the US, we're practically a theocracy). Instead, I would say that people living in eastern cultures are more bound by their culture. For example: in the US, or a similar western culture, it is generally ok to be gay in the 2010s and 2020s. From my understanding, this is also the case in Korea and Japan, but there is more cultural push back. I think this reality is represented in sapphic romance stories from the two places well. Look at any fiction featuring a lesbian main character coming out of America: their sexuality is never treated like some weird thing (unless the story is trying to realistically represent discrimination); instead, they just are gay. And, when a character is beginning to realize she might be a lesbian, she might have to adjust her view of herself, but it's really no big deal. On the other hand, look at Japanese yuri, especially high school stories: there is almost universally a moment where one of the characters will be like "but we're both girls!" to which the other character will be like "it's fine." I think this moment is included in those stories because the mangaka are consciously pushing back on the idea that it's wrong to be gay. A really good example of this can be seen in Rei's "it's ok to be gay monologue" in I'm in Love with the Villainess. In American fiction, something like that would likely feel unnecessary (though, for the record, I think American TV shows and movies are at the point where such a monologue is necessary, but that's a different story).

Another example can be seen in the way eastern comics treat cunnilingus. This is not a universal thing, but one trend that I've noticed in the more NSFW or smutty comics I've read is that, often, when a woman is about to go down on another woman, the one getting eaten out will protest like "no, not there" or "no, I'm not clean," and I think that this too is indicative of the ways women are entangled by cultural expectations in the east. In an America comic or novel, this would not be treated with the same hesitancy. But, in eastern cultures, there seems to almost be this expectation that the women turns down getting eaten out, only to relent and accept it when their lover insists.

I'm not sure if any of that makes sense, but it's the best I got without doing real research. Also, again, I am not an expert, so take everything I just said with about a tablespoon of salt!

#long post #yuri #yuri posting #lesbians #ask #i may end up doing research on this and making a more formal post about it #sapphic #lgbtq culture

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maya-matlin · 2 months

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So I know this is probably dumb, but what about Jenna Middleton/Brooke Davis for that comparing Degrassi characters to people from other shows thing? Jenna's passion for music makes her more like Peyton or Haley, but in personality she really reminds me of Brooke: bubbly, adventurous, loving extroverts who prefer optimism so initially deny a few hard truths, not all that book smart but very intelligent and savvy when it comes to people, they're both spontaneous but also kind of impulsive, and both even announce that they're not letting boys define them anymore :) You could also maybe compare Jimmy to Nathan Scott...? And while I'm obsessively analyzing every character, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the differences between Emma and Clair - they seem very similar to me!

Comparing Jenna to any of those girls seems inaccurate to me, but maybe I'm thinking of early Jenna. I just feel like she was so bubbly and low key phony to begin with. She clearly got a lot of validation from being perceived as more desirable than other girls. So I'm with you. I don't think Haley and Jenna are anything alike beyond their passion for music. Haley was anxious, introverted, responsible and school oriented. That was never Jenna, unless you want to say she was more responsible during seasons 11-14. Out of the three main girls, Brooke is the closest comparison. But I still struggle to see it. I just feel like even before Brooke admits how smart she is, she's much socially conscious and intelligent than Jenna. But I loved reading everything you had to say. I strongly agree that both Jenna and Brooke eventually come to define their own self worth based on how much they like themselves and personal growth rather than whether or not boys find them attractive. This makes me realize that I spend very little time analyzing Jenna.

As for Jimmy and Nathan, that works! Though, I think Jimmy was always more intelligent than Nathan. Even though both guys always saw playing professional basketball as their futures and even had fathers who pressured them to succeed and keep pushing even to their detriment, it seemed like Jimmy always had more going for him than Nathan. In spite of the tragedy that befell Jimmy, he was always going to be fine. Jimmy had a way of becoming successful at everything he tried, from art to rapping. Apparently, he had plans to become a lawyer. I got the feeling school came fairly easily for Jimmy compared to someone like Nathan, who heavily relied on his talent to get him far in life. Jimmy seemed more comfortable reinventing himself and figuring out an alternate path for his life than Nathan ever did - though it should be acknowledged that Nathan eventually thrived once his health forced him to retire. It's just that he had to put in a lot of effort to succeed.

Clare and Emma. Hmm. Obviously, both played the same role. They are the prominent, good girls of their classes. There's a perception that both Emma and Clare never make mistakes (in universe, not in the fandom). Both are drawn to bad boy types from time to time. Neither is afraid to speak up when they feel something unjust is happening. However, Emma navigates social situations far easier than Clare does. From the very beginning of TNG, Emma has zero problem using her voice and making her opinions known. I'm sure this is related to Emma being raised by a single mom and basically being the center of Spike's world. Spike was always a feminist, so you can imagine Emma was brought up to believe women should use their voices and to never make yourself smaller to appease anyone. And Emma never did. Clare had a very different upbringing. She was raised in a conservative, Christian household with God-fearing parents. Unlike Emma, Clare always had an older sibling. It was known to everyone that while Darcy was the pretty, popular, social one, Clare was just the smart one. She was likely overlooked prior to coming to Degrassi and being noticed beyond being Darcy's little sister. Clare needed time to come into her own. Unlike Emma, Clare started as much more of a pushover. But once Clare gained some confidence and learned to use her individual voice without worrying about disturbing the peace, that was that. I don't think being social ever came completely easily to Clare, though. She was very by the books and is often accused of being sanctimonious in later seasons. Their goals were also different. While Emma was mainly focused on the environment and making the world a better place, Clare was more comfortable being a writer. She seemed to oscillate between pursuing creative writing or becoming a journalist before settling on the latter. Clare is nothing if not practical. Emma was more interested in feelings and morals than she was something more concrete. Interestingly, both girls ended up in a similar place with each taking time to figure out their next move with guys they probably shouldn't have settled down with.

#the-stelena-and-mondler-diaries #Long post

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variousqueerthings · 3 months

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We were going to see them all. But he was too busy burning them. I don’t think she ever saw anything // No stars. I hoped there’d be stars

OKAY IT'S HAPPENING IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING! WE HAVE WATCHED world enough and time/the doctor falls

alright, let's keep the yelling to down below (EDIT: yeah these rambles got looooooooooooong)

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 9/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 6/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 7/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 9/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 4/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 6/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 8/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 9/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 6/10

FULL RATING: 76/100 (if I can count….)

I'd have to check, but this might be M*ffat's highest-rated finale (of course there is the finale that comes after this one, but um... that one will definitely be rated lower). I genuinely like quite a lot of what's going on here. and then there's some things I'm going to poke with a stick...

also at this point we confirm: Gomez!Master is simply perfection, she is this era to me!

OBJECTIFICATION: I note that Simm!Master is pretty darn sexist throughout this episode and yes, Simm!Master was definitely a misogynist in his original tenure too, it's just taken to an extreme degree in this one I think, specifically in a strange sort of "see how far we've come now" way, that feels echoed in the next episode with the first Doctor

I'm not sure if this is just me, but it felt jarring and a little out of character, but perhaps he's just reverted to the most extreme type after being a dictator on this spaceship for x amount of years idk. he was generally a little flat for me, but that's something we'll talk about further down

I wish Bill had been allowed to smack him or something at least, because oh boy was there a lack of satisfaction in that part of the narrative in my opinion

PLOT-POINT: okay I was writing this down in "politics" and maybe it is, but the blur is very big in this episode in many ways, so I've decided to put this up here instead -- ALSO THIS IS A RAMBLE TO TRY AND ORGANISE THOUGHTS BE PREPAAARED

if I had a nickle for every time steven m*ffat turned a Black character into a cyberman after being basically killed by a random happenstance that's never addressed again and then they decide to essentially commit suicide rather than keep living as a way to end their stories I'd have two nickles, which... I mean I don't know. it's weird that that's been his go-to twice, possibly not as a conscious choice, and maybe this doesn't even belong under politics, so much as a bit lazy in the absence of signs of it being an intentional callback or recurring thematic event (I mean this may be more about the fact that Danny Pink is a hard done by character as well)

I do think this is one of the worst things to happen to a companion in nu!who (the worst? hard to say, that's subjective, but in the sheer detail of its depiction it's certainly brutal), and I can't say Bill is offered much in the way of agency in the narrative, and listen, I like a tragedy, I like "you missed her by two hours," I like characters feeling so so sad, but I do feel like these episodes dropped the ball on being about Bill, rather than Bill being a cog in Simm!Master's ongoing game with the Doctor (and I'm not even entirely onboard with Simm!Master's characterisation in this episode as being much more than a prop to make Gomez!Master seem better or something by comparison? or maybe John Simm was just up for coming back and they were trying to make him fit in there), and I think that's a shame. I can't place it very easily, but it's kind of a letdown for a character that did feel very go-gettem throughout the season

in these episodes things happen to Bill and around Bill, but not really because of Bill or with Bill driving anything, with the exception of one moment (which we'll get to over in companions matter), and while we do have Bill reacting to those things toooo some extent, I personally don't feel like her emotional interiority is given much focus

in the first one she's more central and there's promise in the second episode when she wakes up and discovers she's a cyberman, but after that she fades into the background for me, which is wild, because she's gone through something so violent and has been betrayed so badly by the Doctor in favour of the Doctor's fucked up little dance with the Master, but she spends her time waiting around and being spoken to with incredible cruelty by Simm!Master and treated with suspicion by everyone else and it's just not even about any of that, except for how it convinces her to die

it's an interesting comparison to, say, Clara whom the Doctor fucked up the universe to save (and Bill's not even dead), but perhaps it's because the Doctor also wants to die/give up and Bill at this point was the big factor stopping that from happening. a lot of her saving him was specifically related to his being self-sacrificial and now she just accepts that death -- but then at the end she begs him to not be dead, but also we don't really see her during the proper battle scenes, which was an odd choice

if she's the Doctor's protector, as she has been often, including at the beginning of this episode, I think she should have been very visibly so

this is very rambly, but I think what I'm getting at is simply that Bill fades into the background of part two of this, in a way that feels particularly sad for the fact that it's such a violent fate

BUT WAHAIT! we do have Heather then coming in to save the day, and I personally like that. Bill was going to head out with her eventually, so I'm pleased. I think one thing about this season as a whole is that I think Bill deserved two and/or more episodes off the back like Martha for example had, but I know this was the final season. this is probably another post, but there's so many interesting underlying things to Bill's story that deserved more space (as it were), but also do I think m*ffat could have done all of that justice? (no)

so with all that in mind, I'm glad she went with Heather (let's hope next episode doesn't undermine tharthjgdksjdflkfjhöjsdlkfjgshjdf)

(my other note, which may also be politics, is that both of the Black female protagonists had the essential function of saving the Doctor from himself, and while Bill also got to be held somewhat by the Doctor in return, ultimately she wasn't the focus of this story as much as the Master was -- which I do think s3 balanced the Master/Doctor madness while also allowing Martha some development, but we may be coming down to subjectivity)

COMPLEXITY: the first part of these episodes is a rare example of a bit complex on M*ffat's side without being too stupid and indulgent -- there's a mystery (in the sense that you might recognise the Mondasians but Bill doesn't know them and the Doctor doesn't know), there's the slow creeping dread, there's the Master. I wish there had been more scenes of Bill trying to escape or figure out what's going on, because ten years and she just hung out there??? and accepted that this was what everything looked like??? no exploring??? really????? (this is companion matters actually, but it does stretch suspension of disbelief on my part)

second half is then a simple "getting attacked trying to stop it" story in which the cybermen are hyper-developing while this little farming community has to be prepared in a very short space of time, which is all fair enough. I think the second half overall is weaker than the first, and I couldn't tell you exactly why. I think a lot of it is quite good, but ultimately some of the character-work gets lost for me, even though it does nail it at the very very end

and I think a reason I'm overthinking a lot this season is because it's the final season -- it's m*ffat's last companion writing, Twelve's (second) last hurrah, Gomez!Master's last outing (and Simm's) and so it feels like I'm not just looking at this episode but how well everything built to this episode, which may not be quite fair, but also... such is the fate of a final-ish episode

it's a good episode. it's also a bit of a microcosm of some of the core Stuff in m*ffat era (although not as much as the next episode will be) -- it ends on a lot of very fun, interesting points, but it's a bit of a rocky road to get there that struggles to give the companion much to do. it feels like this season as a whole was getting to a pretty good place on a lot of these points (if one looks at this rating's system it jumps this season) and it feels like this development was cut short

I can't believe this me making the case for more of the M*ffat era, disgusting. hateful. this isn't who I am I promise!!!

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: I mean yeah! boy ohhhhkay let's list!

Simm!Master returns, reveals he was killed by Gomez!Master and that she in turn was killed by him, but if she remembers that then I'd hazard that's how she survived that, but I don't think we've ever been told how. I love how many blank spots there are in the Master's history, this isn't a complaint. the master just comes back, that's what the Master does

Bill is turned into a cyberman, then Heather pulls her out of the cyberman and they go travelling together

the Mondasian cybermen origin story

the Doctor is going to regenerate but maybe refuses to!

Gomez!Master calls someone a bitch, which I had no idea where to place, but this was my note when it happened: CALLS HIM A BITCH!!!!???!!

(which on that note, that blue guy never returns, he just shoots Bill, gets flipped on his back and disappears from the narrative entirely, feels like a bit of a miss, considering how all of this happened because of something essentially pointless... shot by some random dude... the other main link between Bill and Danny, both seem to be random events, and I'm not sure M*ffat is a deep enough writer to be doing this intentionally for any thematic reason, because Danny isn't that important in the end RIP)

COMPANIONS MATTER: there's a lot I covered in the earlier point about Bill, but she does do soooome stuff, specifically she saves the Doctor's life in the beginning of episode 2, and also pulls him out of the debris at the end and into the Tardis somehow (sidenote, I really feel like the Tardis is so fond of Bill, in a very particular way. the Tardis has favourites and Bill is one of them I believe!)

I think. those are the two main things? otherwise she acts as bait, and then as... I suppose plaything to the Master in a way? summed up like that it's a bit bleak

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: okay I wasn't sure where to write about this, but let's talk the Doctor and the Master! because this episode is attempting to do three stories, fundamentally

the origin of the Mondasian cybermen

Bill's final story (sort of)

wrapping up this era's exploration of the Doctor and the Master

and of these, I feel like the third is, funnily enough, the least compelling to me in the second half of the story (the first half, where the Doctor is convincing Bill to travel with Gomez!Master, I liked that!)

I actually wasn't a big fan of Simm!Master in this episode for the most part (not the whole part, I liked some of it too -- Gomez and Simm kind of wanting to get it on but also wanting to kill each other feels good, feels right), I felt like a fair amount of the writing wasn't quite... right for his character or went for his most exaggerated traits without any nuance. which, Simm!Master was absolutely a misogynist in his original s3 run (and then just mostly unhinged in the specials), so it's not out of the way that he'd be casually cruel to Bill especially, but Idk. I felt like the dynamic between Simm!Master and the Doctor was minimised to make Gomez!Master seem like her desire to try to get on the Doctor's side is somehow shocking (which I may be reaching but that tying into the continuous derogatory comments at WoMEn didn't sit right with me, like she was "more" emotional or less rational or more prone to Empathy/Feelings than before because of the regeneration, one episode after we've had the line about being past gender concerns), whilst in the same breath stripping Simm!Master of some of the stuff that made him fun to watch and the nuance specifically of his relationship with the Doctor back in the day, because now Simm!Master seems to just not care for the Doctor at all

it's not just cackling and evil-doing that made Simm!Master fun, in a similar way to how the first Doctor wasn't enjoyed despite apparently constantly talking about how women needed to be dusting in the Tardis (did he ever do that, I don't remember that ever... next episode questions, don't jump ahead)

now why do I talk about this in this section -- it's because of how it feels like there's a lot of heaaavy lifting- straaainingly heavy lifting to get the Doctor to make some philosophical points and have some growth and for Gomez!Master to figure out her moral stance that meant that potentially compelling ideas around the Master and Bill (Bill saying she's afraid of the Master in the first episode, Simm!Master pretending to be her friend before selling her out, the cruelty at her after she's turned) weren't realised

and it didn't have to be Simm!Master and Bill as such, but I noticed how excessively cruel the Master is to her without any sort of impact on the plot or the Doctor's relationship with the Master or Bill herself

this episode suffers from trying to get to this point with the Doctor, and with the (as anyone who's been reading these rambles of mine) compelling relationship between Gomez!Master and the Doctor, in a way that flattens Simm!Master into purely villainous and has Bill's emotional journey fade into the background

It's not entirely all the time, but when the Doctor makes a big speech about kindness at both Masters and Simm!Master reacts by saying he wasn't paying attention, it was kind of a letdown. it didn't feel like the big moment I think it wanted to be, and it also felt like everything was building towards giving us this era's Doctor and the Master relationship conclusion and it didn't quite land for me on the Doctor's side (Gomez!Master was great though), because of how lazily Simm!Master was written and a few quite big threads being dropped

I also feel like there was a bit of lack of continuation of the Doctor and Master relationship showing the Doctor's flaws, going waaay back to the 70s when the Master offered to rule the Universe together -- and in nu!who the Doctor's mourning the Master in s3 while the Jones family and Jack and Lucy grieved for themselves, the Doctor promising Bill it'd be fine, despite the Doctor knowing what the Master is capable of, and then Simm!Master doing all of that to her. there's just some... missing puzzle pieces where they're trying to make the Doctor look good, but it doesn't all work for me and as consequence the Doctor's emotional and philosophical journey doesn't land

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: on the one hand super into the Mondasian cyberman origin story, on the other hand the disrespect towards unhinged Doctor/Simm!Master of yore!

on the third hand this line from Gomez!Master at Simm!Master that did feel like the vibe: "I loved being you. Every second of it. Oh the way you burned like a sun. like a whole screaming world on fire" self-destructively destructive is exactly it!

“SEXINESS”: okay so Simm!Master and Gomez!Master being horny is allowed. I actually wish they'd been more horny, specifically about the Doctor. can't believe you dropped the ball here m*ffat I was gonna be okay with it this time! I was giving you a pass! let them be even fuckin weirder!

I also want to note here because of bathos that Nardole is still there mostly doing comedy in a way that annoys me, and I now stand firm on the opinion that this whole season could've functioned without him. I put in my notes that I didn't mind him as much in the second half, but he's just not a character I enjoy

INTERNAL WORLD: I think the concept of the ship is very cool, with down below goes very fast versus up above going very slooow. it does fall a teensy bit apart with some of the journeying, I'm confused about the lifts, especially in the "we can't make it to the Tardis" part where I feel like some of the scifi ideas were streeetching to let the plot happen in the way the writers wanted it to happen, and this also a bit in the development of cybermen and what the timeline was there, but hey, maybe someone has done a rundown of parallel timelines and it all fits perfectly and I'm wrong

do like the idea that Simm!Master went into the downstairs world and completely fucked it up, sowed the seeds for the cybermen there and convinced them that up above was dangerous to the extent that no one did another mission to the up above since the first one. I almost wish that these two episodes had been supplemented by a third one (cut some of the dead wood from the middle-season 3-parter and make that a two-parter) to explore these societies more, give Bill more to do in this world than wait around for... ten years

ten years!????!!!!

but that says something to the fact that I thought these ideas were pretty cool and they made the famously silly-seeming Mondasian cybermen into something quite creepy

POLITICS: so is there anything I could add here that wasn't covered before? Unclear about the choice of sexism in this episode, think it was ill-conceived doing the "character becomes a cyberman" plot with Black characters twice, like that lesbians came into the fore at the end (there's a separate post where I'd like to ask how people feel about Heather in general, but in principle at least I do like it, and I think it's very much a "if only more time had been given to the plot and to Bill!" for me on the whole but I do like it)

*deep breath*

what about the rest of the episodes? technically not that political in feel? there's a dystopian choking society down below that's being tricked into being converted into cybermen, which is deeeply fucked up, there's a farming community up above that's not really explored much as a structure... I think that's it?

there's sort of an ethos about "helping people out of kindness" but I think that part is a bit rushed, but that's Doctor Who-ish. I would love some discussion on the ethics of the Doctor being like "Bill I respect your choice to self-sacrifice, because I will do the exact same"

a few little questionmarks is what I'm saying

FULL RATING: 76/100 (if I can count….)

AGAIN CLAP FOR MICHELLE GOMEZ! TRULY THE MOMENT!

AND ANOTHER CLAP FOR PEARL MACKIE WHO DID SO MUCH IN SUCH A SHORT SPACE OF TIME!

highlights: those two doing Acting, especially in their respective final sequences, spooky origin story and a few Neat scifi concepts, does feel like it emotionally wrapped up this era of DW, some beautiful speeches and lines, gomez!master and the doctor were beautiful

low points: didn't feel the Simm!Master inclusion on the whole, didn't feel like the Doctor entirely worked throughout in terms of feeling his development, Bill didn't get enough to do in the stories themselves

AND NOW! WE'RE DOWN TO ONE! WILL WE END ON A HIGH???

#the measurement #im watching nu!who #im watching capaldi who #episode world enough and time #episode the doctor falls

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nation-of-bros · 6 months

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Opinion on feminism and how even men who apparently only sleep with men are advocating for something against their own interest

About the tendency of gays to be traditionally left-wing

I've often wondered why gays identify so much with "strong women" and the whole feminism thing. I think you can generalize the question and ask yourself why gays are generally politically very left-wing.

I think it's simply because the conservative side, and the right side, which adopted the conservatives' morals, simply left no room for homosexuality. From their worldview, men and women simply belong together and nothing else. They would never imagine that there are other ways of living together, as is the case with some indigenous peoples of Central America, Africa and New Guinea, where men live separately from women and contact is limited to procreation only. No, from their perspective, because they take the Bible literally, they reject any intimacy between men and reduce women to the mere household.

This shared fate of being oppressed victims of the same "patriarchal system" logically leads to many gays showing solidarity with "bra burners" and thus becoming groupies of "strong women".

Since I never wanted one or the other, I have never felt like I belong to any group, even though I am definitely more right-wing and have nationalist ideals, albeit on a healthy scale and not to the "blood and soil" perversion as in Slavic camps today for example…

But I have to admit that the rejection of homosexuality in the patriotic camp really pisses me off, where "men who just prefer other men" get lumped in with all this rainbow shit. Unfortunately, there's not much we can do about it other than prove that not all gay men are "rainbow fags." But ultimately I'm not on this planet to please others or to prove myself to others; at least that is my basic attitude; which is why I choose the path of simply ignoring these people. Ultimately, my blog is a means of virtually creating my own world, where I can be neither one nor the other, just an androphilic island for all those who are also stuck "between the worlds".

When opposites turn out to be the same

The irony is that femism is essentially just a feminized form of “evil patrachat,” because who are these feminists? Often they are fighting lesbians, and ultimately nothing other than formerly heterosexual men now reincarnated in the bodies of women; because heterosexual women simply love the masculine too much to want to get along without a strong man at their side. Lesbian women, on the other hand, very often behave like typical heterosexual men who are just no longer men in the physical sense. If they grow up in the postmodern world without strong conservative values that do not unconditionally force them into a role in their current female reincarnation, they break out more easily and fall back into their former straight man personality.

Many people may think this is nonsense when they hear it for the first time, but if you have been dealing with consciousness and things like reincarnation your whole life like I have, it is the best explanatory model for many phenomena, including different sexualities, talents, personalities; why we are not just copies of our parents, but conscious synergies of many factors that go back much further.

It is probably the case that basically everyone involved from opposing conflict parties often switches between sides, depending on their reincarnation: In this life you are a Palestinian who hates Israelis; In the next life, however, you are an Israeli soldier who bulldozes Palestinian villages. In the next, perhaps an African oppressed by North Africans; In the next life, however, you yourself are a North African who lives in Europe and stabs white people there out of anger. And then suddenly in the next life you are a white man who is conservative and agitates against gays, until in the next life you suddenly find yourself in the body of a woman and become a victim of conservative ideals yourself, unless you become a hardcore lesbian…

It's a never-ending cycle… and the only way out of this quatsch is to stop participating in it any longer and instead become aware of yourself so that you no longer subconsciously submit to your environment like an animal.

#politics #essay #reincarnation

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gloriousmonsters · 1 year

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unfollowed you by mistake lol. anyway. do you think song lan and xiao xingchen could have changed their philosophy/outlook on life to include any kind of "class consciousness" without encountering xue yang, and do you think that given the chance to live post xue yang encounter, that they would have regressed into a more conservative/prescriptive ideology as a reaction to their own trauma, or rather have eventually reflected on what produced a xue yang and how that understanding of injustice and trauma can improve their own approach to cultivation as a mean to better society? i am very tired and this is probably badly worded and shallower than i would like it to be lol

its possible that it can be both btw. a seemingly not class conscious ideology can still include principles of guidance which can look prescriptive to the outsider while actually implementing the kind of life long dialogue between teacher and student which is not essentially repressive nor excessively patronizing in nature, despite having a clear hierarchical nature and a heavy emphasis on individual responsibility

welcome back lol

and I... hm. Idk, there's a part of me that often kicks in with MDZS characters where I'm like 'this is for a certain value a Person but also very much a Tool of the Narrative' (possibly bc mxtx's works tend to be so laden with... moral problems, is the best way I can think of putting them, and I love it). So my kneejerk answer to the first question is that if they'd developed that class consciousness without meeting XY, it'd be kind of lame because then they couldn't have partaken in their part of the story. It's possible, of course, answering watsonianly (though I've never had the necessary drive to deep dive into any of the schools of thought/philosophies/etc that they come from, so IDK how exactly it might come about) because a lot of things are possible if you fiddle with the factors.

And I also find the question of 'if they'd lived' to be an interesting one bc for me... XXC's committing suicide is his answer to the challenge that XY presents at that point, and I feel like if he did somehow live his mind would be clouded a very, very long time not so much by problem-of-xue-yang-as-related-to-justice-and-revenge-murder, but the problem of xue yang as 'how did this person have two such utterly different faces, and which of them was real? is it possible to reconcile them?' I feel like it might stand a chance of him feeling pulled to understand XY and consider what role society played in his shaping when he's remembering his friend, and then overcorrecting with 'but none of that can matter THAT much, I shouldn't be thinking about that kind of thing' when the guilt and shame of 'this is a massacre killer who blinded my bff and may or may not depending on what timeline this takes place in engineered his death'.

IMO time, one of the big themes in MDZS is: people are very good at thinking they're ruled by principle when they're actually ruled by the buffeting winds of trauma, bias and emotion. All three of the villains show a strong awareness of different societal issues and how they can create, well, people like them, and point these things out, and the reaction of the good guys is usually... rejecting those arguments based on gut reactions, not objective reasoning (much like swathes of the fandom lololol). XXC rejects XY's reason for what he did based simply on it's just wrong, even if what you said is right you went too far so I can't focus on your reasons. So while I think there's a chance he could come around, I think it's slim. (It would probably involve a Lot of conversations with XY with crying and yelling and they'd both hate it).

SL is more of a cipher to me bc i like never write him and read him only slightly more but he's pretty much established as the more severe and judgemental of the two so....... all of the above but decrease the chance from .01 to .001 percent.

#feel like i didn't answer as thoroughly as the question deserved but this is as much as my arms are gonna let me type #gay necromancy: the show #natandacat #replies

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neil-neil-orange-peel · 2 years

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This might sound bad but its female politicians that remind me more of Alan just on a pure physical level? Male politicians always have this walrusy look about them and really dont seem to care or notice their physical appearence or how their suits fit. Female politicians however often have the most impeccable sharp suits, perfect hair and smug smirks like 'i am the shit, i am smart, powerful and sexy, lick my shoe peasant,' which is completely Alan's vibe

Sorry it's taken me so long to answer this. I wanted to answer it properly and I've not had the time or motivation, but it's bugging me so I'll have a go now. 😂

I think that a lot of female politicians put so much effort into their appearance because they will be judged harsher for it - by the press, by other politicians, by the public. It's just old school sexism. In the UK, major female politicians such as Theresa May (when she was relevant, anyway) and Nicola Sturgeon have both had their clothes commented on by news outlets when it really wasn't relevant (I admit May has rather eccentric fashion tastes, but y'know). Recently, Angela Rayner was even attacked in a misogynistic article in the Daily Mail where unnamed Tory MPs accused her of "uncrossing her legs" during PMQs in a bid to distract Boris Johnson. Now, there was actually more than just misogyny at play in that example - there was also a sickening dollop of classism, as the fact that she attended state school and he public school was used against her too - but I think we can all agree that misogyny underlines this like a bad smell. Unfortunately, the political sphere takes a fucking age to update itself and so it's always behind the times - there are MPs in the Commons who act like men from the 1950s (and one man who acts like he's from the 1850s, hello Jacob Rees-Mogg). It's gross. I do believe it's not reflective of the majority of people.

I'm not trying to claim men aren't ever judged for their appearances - of course they are! The number of stories and jokes about Boris Johnson' hair alone makes that argument invalid... but there is definitely a lot to be said about how perceived "ugliness" in a man is not seen as big of an issue or a barrier to success as perceived "ugliness" in a woman. In an ideal world it wouldn't matter, but we live in this world.

To bring this to Alan B'Stard... I've always taken the name of the show (The New Statesman) to mean that he is a new type of statesman. He is nouveau riche, new right, one of Thatcher's storm troopers, disrupting the post-war consensus and smashing the status quo (the irony of which was not lost on more traditional conservatives at the time). Part of this new, flashy politician look involved, quite literally, the look. Alan B'Stard is often heralded as an uncanny precursor to Tony Blair (hence the stage show) and this is because New Labour were very image conscious. Blair was young for a PM at the time and very much played into the idea that he was the dawn of a new age, a step away from the stuffy grey politicians of the past. I mean, in 1997 New Labour literally used the song Things Can Only Get Better as an election chant. 😂

Later, David Cameron saw this and co-opted Blair's modern politician visage but with that extra Tory posh knob flavouring. For some reason, if a male politician looks relatively young, is image conscious, and can talk the talk, people decide to vote for him. This actually even applies to Boris Johnson, but in an almost subverted way. The man - or, at least, his team - must be incredibly image conscious. His hair and general messy appearance are very much The Boris Brand, seen as giving him wide appeal (because, again, apparently the British public like voting in clowns).

The three male examples I've used are all from the last 30 years of political life, meaning Alan slightly predates them. TNS predicated a lot of stuff, so this doesn't surprise me. Most other male politicians of the Thatcher years - of either side of the House, though I admit there are always, even today, certain visual cues for whether someone is a Tory or Labour MP - bore more resemblance to the walrusy look you mentioned. Why? Because there was no reason for them not to. Televising of the Commons only began in 1989, before then a lot of MPs would have been relatively invisible. Likewise, televised TV debates between party leaders was only brought in for the 2010 election, and then extended beyond the main three parties for the 2015 election (Cameron's idea). This results in a much more presidential feel to election campaigns, which has its own foibles in a system that isn't presidential such as the UK's, but I won't get into that here...

What am I saying? Politicians have become more like Alan B'Stard? In a word: yes. That's obvious because Alan represents Thatcherism and Thatcher's legacy is still keenly felt in politics and society today. The "glamourising" of British politics, I suppose, is something Alan championed before it was a completely integrated thing. There are still walrusy men in the Commons today, but a lot of them predate Thatcher (or, at the very least, Blair). If you're a newer politician? You're going to be image conscious. I guess the big difference is, while for the Alan B'Stards of politics this has always been a deliberate choice, for women it's just an expectation. I'm not saying only the men choose to spruce up while the women are expected to - nothing is that black and white, and all politicians have ulterior motives - I'm just saying it's always been more beneficial for women to look their best than it has been for men, so it's unsurprising Alan reminds you of "girlboss" female politicians.

Even Margaret Thatcher herself! The voice. The hair. The handbag. All carefully constructed to court public appeal.

Apologies if none of this makes sense, I have finally caught the bastard coronavirus and it's late here. I'll be going to sleep now. 😂

#asks #anon #uk politics #the new statesman #alan b'stard #me rambling

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incarnateirony · 6 months

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Hey Aaron, I was wondering if you would be comfortable sharing whether you have felt more dysphoria or euphoria? The reason I ask is because there's a guy that I followed before they knew that they were trans. He mentioned that they never felt super dysphoric about there body but instead felt incredibly euphoric once they started to transition.

Also what's with the uptick of weird asks? Maybe start to reply to them in emojis they may be able to understand better.

Here's the fun thing: I didn't realize I had dysphoria because nobody could ever be clear about what dysphoria was, and with the media narrative, despite fleeting thoughts in life, I looked in the mirror like, yep, that's my face, I don't hate it. That sure is some kind of face. Solid 6/10 it's an ok face.

It took some major changes in my life to actually reconnect with sensations and stuff I had run from.

There's a thing about the transmasc community. There's like, the stereotype of the suddenly horny as hell trans man, and it's yet again one of those "Stereotypes exist for a reason" things. It happened before me, it happened to me, and it's happened to friends after me. A lot of us vaguely identify in the ace spectrum a long time because we shoved our impacted boners down so hard and often walled off from sexual engagements that brought up thoughts from different angles and so on. (To clarify bc this is tumblr, I'm not saying "all ace ppl are actually trans", just that it's sorta an umbrella a lot of us hide under while also often starting at they/them because culturally internalized misandry makes us go ME??? GUY??? NAWWWWWWWWW.)

Euphoria IDK if I'd consider it that. I mean, sure, nice, you're gendering me that right, I appreciate that, but I'm still a ways out on being where I want visually. I've reached more Anomaly status where not everybody guesses the same or stares weirdly or avoids pronouns. I'm now "That one" at my regular corner store. The local weed peddler got into a fight with other peeps locally about what gender they all think I am. I'm a walking androgyne. So IDK? Not really?

But I find a lot of "I don't have dysphoria" becomes [gets nuked by a sudden boner we haven't effectively firewalled out] MAN DOWN MAN DOWN. shecallsmecrustdaddy

The lack of discussion of this forwardly due to the increasing creep of conservative sex-badism creeping into liberal spaces just kinda obscures this for a lot of us. To the point supposed allies not only once cornered me in a femme mosh pit of justifying how I understand male perspective, but while demanding to know What Men Think Of Attractive Women like taking a mallet to the source of all dysphoria WHILE setting up the Man Bad acme trap for me.

I had a very Not Fun valentines day this year despite my valentine pitch itself going swimmingly, thanks Allies(TM).

No seriously I will die mad about the events of February 14 2023, and frankly, this supposed community was so insufferable during that period, I almost chose to do so promptly.

But that goes to say, any positive feeling of gendering is a far more passive form than the electrocution directly to my spinal pierogi when the phantom boner button is getting slammed.

I don't know, maybe there's other less... neurological? forms of dysphoria. I don't know. Ever since opening up and fully accepting what's going on internally with me both mentally and physiologically, the joke buzzer effect is diminished and just replaced with the horns, it's like the mental internal electrocution was there to try to tame it out of reaching my conscious mind. I do not know how to describe it, it isn't as dramatic as a full blown real electrocution (I've also survived one of those) but I mean the. I don't know. The neural shock of dissonance being sharp and making things fuzzy.

So I don't deal with that shit as much anymore either, but I dont think I'd be like, omg, over the moon about being the 1,000th trans man to overcompensate and grow a werewolf beard? Like half of it is accepting my body is half transitioning in that direction anyway, I'm growing a goatee pre-T, so??? IDK??? I just keep on living as me, just less pelvic sparklers shooting rockets up my spine to offline my brain these days.

My form of dysphoria is/was like my own brain trying to do its own gay conversion therapy shocks in the background until my sex drive was totally buried. Even without T, the second THAT bullshit was unpacked my life got better. But I lived with it so long I just marked it under Shit I Considered Normal Cuz I Didnt Hate My Face Or Whatever. Any external modifications I make is a mix of leaning into what my body is doing anyway on the intersex spectrum while just minimizing confusion and conflicts on why I literally Cannot Think Like The Other Girls. And not in the "teehee im not like the other girls" way. There are just. There's primitive and basal shit that people would clutch pearls about, from sexual, social and psychological. I'm not about to go into Male Brain Vs Female Brain because it's not that fuckin straightforward but like. It's just a thing. I was literally on T and androgens in utero because of my mom. It fundamentally adjusted my development. Me living my whole life with teen-boy testosterone they tried to bury under estrogen and made me obese with certainly has its effect on the brains neuroplasticity and that's what I can say about that.

To be entirely blunt about this, long long ago I was a horny whore, I fisted my way across half the continental US. But then I settled down with a wifey who kept claiming I was being Too Man, complaining I move Like A Man, asking why I move Like A Man, implying it was too aggressive or hurt her despite *no* signs of that in the moments or calls to stop beyond the good old tap-out five orgasms in that you stop, like. That fucks with you, and you start realizing something is different about you, and you just don't want to think about sex anymore because omg too man and might hurt them but most of all she doesn't think about it like I do, it must not just be a lesbian thing? She never stopped to consider the effects that had on why our bed went cold, and sure as shit she wasn't gonna initiate. Because again, casually making me the husband both in social convo and between the sheets. That was on me. Even when we rekindled our relationship guess who was giving and guess who was taking. Never clicked. No accountability. Just pompoms on to an easier fight to struggle with, further ahead on the road for her to benefit from, never recognizing her culpability in psychologically fucking me over, while I mutter out the window quietly after trying to talk about phantom boners as an idea she dismisses while plotting to throw me out. So that part was always there. I just put my dick in the box so deep I zapped it out of my brain until I forgot why I got zapped any time intimacy came up, or why I wanted to shut down. And I find, while stories aren't necessarily identical, a LOT of suddenly horny trans guys uproot some similar trauma before--yeah.

Also said ex wife's behavior is why it's so offensive she keeps stealing my shit. I have made sure she will be haunted for life over her Rumpocky Pagan shit. Bitch that's mine as much as Crustdaddy is, and you keep your hands off that name, because that's mine and hers, not yours, and you have no respect for anything. Or stealing my self insert hermes patron character designs for herself, and so on. Like maam you're stealing my trans struggles of over a decade as your branding post-divorce, go die in a lemon-fueled fire. Not my fault you lost the best shit you ever had and keep pining after it and trying to re-enact it.

#trans

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leam1983 · 6 months

Text

Love

I'm dragging my feet through another kaizen and as per usual, there's one or two debatably gay types who seem completely agog at the prospect of my actually being with Walt. One of them, a stringy, dark-haired type who looks like Zachary Quinto on intermittent fasting, quietly observes Walt as the big guy Alpha Males it up for the benefit of a few of our Chrysler connects - guys whose chief concerns in life outside of commissions tend to focus around babes, hockey and casual homophobia. All he sees is another slab of ham in a gray suit hiding the fact that he's holding his belly up by sticking his hands in his pants' pockets, and intermittedly stopping to grasp one of his suspenders to add an eyebrow waggle or two.

"Seriously, how do you put up with this guy?" he asks me.

I shrug. "Walt's just masking; he's acting More Hetero than Hetero so that your dealership group's Macho Brigade doesn't feel threatened."

There's a silence. "It's just... his looks. It's like you ripped him out of a local commercial for some Chevrolet dealership. Maybe looking like a Jell-O mold in gray gabardine looked okay back in 1986, but things changed in the years since."

I sip at my Sprite can. "Can I assume you've never had a fat guy in bed?"

Faux Quinto rolls his eyes. "Fuck no. Fat guys are gross. Men over fifty are gross, generally."

I pocket my anger and keep acting chummy. I mouth He lasts for hours, which has him give me a dumbfounded stare. He uses his own can's corner to point at Walt and looks back to me. I nod in the affirmative.

"So you don't have to help him or anything? Reach past some folds, push down so it gets in, et cetera?"

I roll my eyes. "Come on, you're thinking of medical drama cases. We do it the exact same way you do - and he's got cardio to spare. When he's done, though, we get to the best part."

He queries me nonverbally and I sigh after taking a sip. "The cuddling," I admit, as if I'm letting State secrets leak. Walt saunters closer and adds a semi-conscious belly thrust in my direction. I smirk at him and he very briefly gives me a look of utter consternation, then tapping his wristwatch. A few more minutes of this and we're out, then...

Time passes. We leave, duck into a parking garage's darker recesses and quickly have at it. "God," I sigh, "I love your macho act, hon. You're the only one with the girth to make it work!"

Walt replies between our liplocks. "I know, right? If you're going to act like a rube wearing expensive suits, you need to at least be sixty pounds overweight and somewhere north of forty-five! It never really takes, doesn't it, when some fitness-obsessed asshat tries it? It always feels forced! Dad jokes are a mandatory part of the outfit - and Dad jokes never land if you don't have moobs."

I laugh as I kiss him. "You have to look like a Conservative masthead to sell anything to someone who votes for the Prairies' Conservative contingent."

He grunts in both playfulness and hunger. "Like Ronny Cox and Santa Claus had an evil CHUD baby. Fuck your presents, y'ain't worth shit, shut up and buy me a Rolex!"

By this point, Walt and I are too busy sniggering to manage to get serious. I settle with leaning against him and letting him rest his head against mine. "I love you, Walt," I sigh, my contentment hopefully obvious.

"I love you, sport," he replies. "I love you so much it hurts."

#life post #work post #lgbtqa #bisexual #gay

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sasquapossum · 11 months

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Hey, can I ask how you interpreted that image as hate speech? I'm asking genuinely -- you can still unfollow me and take your time answering or just say no because i'm not entitled your time or anything, but I would like to understand and would appreciate your time on it.

I reblogged it under the impression that a) it was pointing out the insufferability of those who wanna say they're a centrist when they aren't (often just embarassed to say they're conservative for some reason) but regardless it's b) less about what they actually think just that pure arrogance of whatever their thoughts are it is the Correct and Only Way to Be TM and c) that this specific variation of fair-weather unironically deals with not having addressed inherent instincts of confirmation bias by declaring they're more willing to criticize one side and criticize only, looking for holes purposefully in the most minute of things in defense of what they lean towards but still claiming centrism. By doing so without caring that they do that, it ends up with someone unprincipled and hypocritical even by what they usually tout is their own standard of thinking things through (the basis of them being Right TM. Happens in other groups because it's about /needing/ to be better/righter than the person they're talking to more than anything else).

I often come across this type of person where I live and so i didn't think it was a caricature so much as a commiseration about a very specific genre of person that's hard to be around. How does that translate to hate speech?

OK, let me start by saying that I might have over-reacted. I stand by the general sentiment I expressed, but your reblog (which was indeed the trigger) might not have been the best example. Perhaps it will explain why I might have over-reacted.

Fake moderates absolutely do exist. I've been dealing with them for over 40 years, both in media and in forums where I participate, and I've been extremely tired of them for over 30. Some conservatives like to hide their true beliefs, I think in hope of getting a hearing they'd otherwise be denied because they know their beliefs are noxious. It's dishonest, it's cowardly, and I have more reason than most to despise them. Nonetheless...

People who genuinely hate real moderates and centrists and people (like me) who don't fit any neat left/right distinction also exist. I have plenty of burn scars and bullet holes on my virtual back to prove that. Such people seem particularly common right here. They can't even say "moderate" without a sneer or a snarl, and one important aspect of their behavior is that they make no distinction between real and fake moderates. Anyone who does not share their very specific flavor of ultra-leftist belief is The Enemy.

That brings us to the image you reblogged, which I would compare to people putting a confederate or blue-line flag on their car. There really people who use those symbols with benign intent. I've met a few. But they should know that others find those symbols hurtful. They should know that the vast majority of people who use those symbols mean for them to be hurtful, and they should avoid those symbols for that reason. Hate speech occurs not only when there's malicious intent, but also when there's a failure of diligence when repeating the haters' tropes and stereotypes.

So when I see "I'm not left or right" - a phrase that many people use with all sincerity - identified as a code phrase for crypto-rightists, I see repetition of a hateful message. When I see "I have no real beliefs" I see repetition of a hateful message. Many people do use those tropes with conscious malice, and have used them against me personally. There might not have been any bad intent on OP's or your part, but you still can't poke at a wound like that and not expect a reaction. Each of us must eventually accept that it's not our place to say whether someone else is hurt or offended. If they are, they are. I see ads for a shirt sometimes that says "be careful who you hate because it might be someone you love" and it applies here just as much as anywhere else.

FWIW, I do not bear you any will. I've already said I need to prune my follow list because I can't keep up. The people I follow are posting so much great content that even one post that makes me feel bad is enough to make my itchy unfollow finger twitch. I might well follow you again if some day I have the "mental space" to be adding people again, and something of yours comes across my dash in the normal course of events.

As I said, I might have over-reacted, and for that I apologize. I hope that this explanation helps you understand why I or others might do so, and why it's not necessarily personal. Peace.

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this-barbie-is-a-blogger · 11 months

Text

Memory Log #4:

Barbie Mariposa’s Metamorphosis

To the Beautiful You

Adolescence is an awkward and uncomfortable stage in this world because humans experience a lot of changes physically and emotionally which, in the worst case scenario, may happen at the same time! Imagining transitioning from being a 14-year old Skipper Roberts which involves growing a few inches taller, getting hips and chest area wider, and having body hairs on unexpected hidden places along with feeling weirded out and confused about these changes as you grow into a 21-year-old Barbie Roberts which apparently has no flaws at all! Good thing we never experience that in my world where we just woke up having no troubles with body changing as it stays exactly how we first got conscious with it!

The real world has brought this Barbie to learn one interesting concept today: body image. Body image is defined by Croll (2005) as the overall view of a person to their body which also includes how they feel about it and their response towards what other people think about it. This is said to be dynamic as it depends on the external factors such as the people we interact with, the current situation we are experiencing and the cultural expectations from that moment. One example that I can think of is my behavior towards how I dress myself when I'm within this campus or just anywhere far from home as compared to when I'm in my hometown. I dress more freely and less conservative here as I'm aware that I'm surrounded by less judging people. Even though there will be some people inclined to ruthlessly judge me, their opinions bear no value to me as they are practically strangers and the attitude being imposed here is that we just mind our own business. However, some clothing style may not be acceptable back in my hometown, especially to those who are related to me by blood as their judgment hurts more than what other people think. There is an expectation from myself towards them to be accepting of me regardless of what I wear. However, this sadly does not happen very much often so I just chose to tone down the clothing based on what they deemed "decent" as they say. But in doing so, it affects my self-esteem in the process. Dressing up can give a boost to my confidence and the act of toning it down feels like I'm restricting myself to what feels good.

According to Voelker and others (2015), body image lies in a continuum between a healthy body perception which can be positive and accurate and an unhealthy and negative body perception which can be negative and less accurate. An unhealthy body image is associated with obesity and physical inactivity which can also lead to having eating disorders if left unchecked. When I was younger, I had this mentality that I can only be liked and attract people if I'm at a certain weight so I tried those diet programs and exercised for a while but whenever I look at my reflection in the mirror, I still feel too fat or not fit at all. It didn't help the fact that I idolize unrealistic body standards from K-Pop idols who I later learned that their companies were lying about their weight so that people won't fat shame them and to uphold their prefect images. I resorted to changing how I wear my clothes in a way that hides my tummy that I thought was too flabby and emphasizes my hips and waist which I noticed people are praising about. I didn't realize that I had an unhealthy perception towards my body at that time and looking back, I wish I could have told my younger self that my body was already fit enough.

There are still parts of my body that this Barbie has deemed unacceptable and hideous but that is something I'm currently working on to come in terms with. I may have a long way to go to love them but I'm finally aware of my imperfections and on how to handle them in a healthier way. This Barbie has finally acknowledged that SHE WAS PRETTY for sure but she always has been. Let's raise our glass to the beautiful you of today.

Cheers to the beautiful ✨ YOU ✨

Learn more about Body Image:

Croll, J. (2005). Body image and adolescents. In Stang, SJ & Story, M (eds). Guidelines for adolescent nutrition services. Retrieved from www.epi.umn.edu/let/pubs/adol_-book.shtm

Voelker, D.K., Reel, J.J., & Greenleaf, C. (2015). Weight status and body image perceptions in adolescents: current perspectives. Adolescent Health, Medicine and Therapeutics, 6: 149-158. DOI:10.2147/AHMT.S68344.

#Spotify #bodypositivity #body neutrality #body image #unapologetic #adolescence #Module_4

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