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#it's my only claim to worth and i hate it i don't even like school i'm just doing it bc it's the only thing i'm any good at
jewishwarriorprincess · 4 months
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Things that boggle my mind:
How Hamas bodycam and live stream footage is considered Israeli propaganda
Why those who celebrated what happened are also denying it happened
Any images and videos from Oct 7th is immediately called fake and Israeli propaganda
How people will still claim that Jews..oh sorry Zionists control the media and governments yet the media and governments are constantly condemning or spreading misinformation about Israel
How fast people will use photos from Syria to claim it's Gaza
How no one actually does any digging and research into what they see and immediately believe it as fact
The revisionism of history, including claims that Jews lived peacefully with Muslims in the MENA ignoring the fact that Jews were forced to pay a protection tax (Dhimmi) and could not be above Muslims in any way, often stripping them of their Jewish identities and the violence that occurred before the establishment of Israel
How the Left will immediately retweet and share screenshots of literal white supremacists because it's against "Israel" even though they are mainly extremely false or full of hate
How promoting the boycott of Jewish businesses, even ones owned by Israelis who have nothing to do with the government is not considered antisemitic (according to the Left)
And while promoting BDS, they still use Israeli and Jewish products, technology, medication, etc
How what Hamas did is still being considered by the Left as "freedom fighting"
How literally none of my Leftie goy friends posted any support for Israel and the Jewish people but will scream ceasefire
How people scream ceasefire and don't mention the hostages
How quick people were able to forget or brush off the atrocities of Oct 7th
How Hamas' literal war crimes are not being mentioned or condemned by the UN, WHO, etc but these organizations are so quick to throw Israel under the bus and scream war crimes when the retaliation and ways of retaliation are adhering to international law
How corrupt the UN is. How can you let Iran be on your Human Rights council and still be seen as legitimate? How can you turn a blind eye to your schools and hospitals being used by Hamas for firing rockets and teaching children that their only purpose in life is to kill Jews and be martyred?
How no one, including the media (besides Israeli Media) talks about the continuous rocket attacks done by Hamas and the PIJ since Oct 7th which is aimed at targeting civilians (also a war crime).
How ripping down posters, even smearing dog shit onto posters of hostages, especially children is considered ok and an act of protesting
How Jews are told to hide their identities, not wave their flags, literally just not exist around the pro Hamas, sorry pro Palestinian crowds due to safety concerns or a risk of upsetting the protesters
How the people claiming to care for Palestinians don't speak up about the conditions Hamas keeps their people under in Gaza, executing them for speaking out, stealing aid supplies and money, how their leaders are worth billions and reside in Qatar while they tell their people to be martyrs for the cause
Kapos... I don't understand the anti-Zionist Jews to be honest. Especially seeing how they help spread misinformation and support those who want to kill them.
How targeting Jewish social media creators, especially those who are Orthodox, and making videos to smear them and encourage harassment because they are Jewish, spoke out about what happened on Oct 7, and support Israel is seen as ok... trying to destroy their livelihood, their mental health, and even threaten their lives.
How organizations like JVP, INN, etc are not being investigated in regards to their legitimacy
How indigenous people in the West are being tokenized and allowing it to happen, not researching history to see that the Jewish people are actually indigenous to the land and are an example of decolonization
That there are politicians who refuse to condemn Hamas but are not being investigated even though there have been proof of ties to Hamas
There are so many videos of Imams around the world preaching to kill Jews and if you call it out you're Islamophobic
The silence from women, especially those in the MeToo movement and UN Women organization in regards to the rape of Israeli women during Oct 7th
How people misread a headline regarding babies being decapitated and somehow blame Israel for saying 40 babies were beheaded when that is not what the reporter said at all
People saying that everything Israel has said about the attacks has been proven to be a lie yet refuse to provide any sources and if they do provide a source it's usually from Quds, Al Jazeera, or Electronic Intifada
Speaking of Intifada, how the Left will proudly shout for an Intifada without knowing what it is or what happened during the 1st and 2nd Intifadas
How the words Genocide, Ethnically Cleansing, Apartheid, and War Crimes have become buzzwords that have lost all meaning since they are so often used incorrectly
How watermelons have been ruined for me because now every time I see even the emoji I think about how people use it to promote a Jewish genocide
How people will post onto social media very antisemitic crap but if you call them out, try to educate, or post anything relating to Israel it is removed by the platform for violating some kind of imaginary rules. Saying death to Jews is ok but calling them out on it is not?
That people don't understand this wasn't a war we wanted to fight but were forced into it
That Israelis are not the government and we are not Bibi
How people will use Ethiopian Jews as a "gotcha" but when Ethiopian Jews call them out on tokenizing them and to STFU they are Israeli propagandist
That apparently I am a paid by Israel to engage in combatting disinformation....still waiting on that check because I could desperately use the money
People saying Jews are wealthy with privilege. I grew up a poor Jew and I'm still a poor Jew, my bank account is crying, again I'm waiting on that Israeli check lol
How people are calling Jews white supremacist oppressors....huh?
How the LGBTQ+ crowd are openly participating in calls for a genocide to the Jews and to eliminate Israel, even though it's the only country in the Middle East they can be openly themselves in
How Hamas top leaders openly talk about their desires, their plans, and how they mistreat their people in their goal to kill Jews, and how they have the Left on their side and brag about it but when posting those interviews it's considered Israeli Propaganda
How people are telling Jews to leave Israel...telling them to go back to Europe even though a majority of Jews in Israel are from MENA countries that forced them to flee, taking their property, money, valuables, documents. And when confronted about this, they say they can go back to Iraq, Iran, Yemen.... showing how dumb they really are. Also considering a lot of Israelis ages newborn to 40 are a mix. For example, my husband is Mizrahi and Ashkenazi, where is he supposed to go and our children? These countries are unsafe for Jews and we refuse to go back to Dhimmi status
How people ignore and or support that there are so many Islamic countries but a tiny Jewish one is seen as a threat... that a Jewish country is not allowed or is "racist", but the Islamic majority countries are ok? Even Christian ones?
Honestly just how stupid people are, how the same people who call themselves free thinkers aren't at all. How the same people who chanted to punch a Nazi are participating in Nazi like behaviors. The same people who said they would hide Jews during the Holocaust are the same ones participating in the rounding up of Jews.
I have so many more thoughts and I needed to vent it out. I remember my grandmother, who was able to escape the camps as a child because her parents had her baptized and sent off with other children, feared that another Holocaust would happen. That so many older Jews, especially Israelis, have an emergency pack in case they had to flee... cash, valuables, documents, family heirlooms all hidden in a secure spot just in case.
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ashwhowrites · 1 year
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eddie x cheerleader
they had a fight , eddie cant focus so he canceled hellfire
he still stays after school so he can watch her performance
he sees her smile is so fake
and even while shes performing he sees tears dripping out of her eyes
so he starts crying too
but once shes done performing , he follows her and gets on his knees and apologizes
Hopefully this is what you were looking for!
Angst with a happy ending :)
I LOVE HOW THIS TURNED OUT
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Eddie Munson had his beliefs and refused to change them. He was stubborn and hard headed. Quick to be defensive and claim he is always right. Even if that meant putting his pride in front of his relationship with his girlfriend.
"Eddie it's just this is my last performance of the season and you haven't been to a single one since we got together. I know you hate sports, the jocks, and the atmosphere but can't you do it for me, just this once?"
The same argument again. The couple have been fighting about Eddie going to one performance, just one, before her cheerleading season ended. Always hurting when all the cheerleaders smiled at their boyfriends who watched in the crowd, Y/N wanted that. She wanted to feel supported too.
"I don't get why we have to fight about this. I told you I hate being around those people. And I have hellfire tonight, I can't just cancel that for your dance." He scoffed, arms crossing in a defensive manner. Arguing quietly in the hallway while the rest of the school was in class or the lunch room.
"it's not a dance! It's a performance, which you wouldn't know since you never bother to come." She spat, her own arms crossing in front of her. "look I get it, the jocks are assholes and treat you like crap. But I've been doing my best to make them leave you alone. All the girls on my team adore us because you make me happy. They even ask for you to come. Do you know how embarrassing it is to watch every boyfriend in the crowd cheering for them? They all have someone to look for in the crowd, someone to smile at and run to when the game is done? I have no one out there Eddie! I'm the only one left on the court once we are done." She explained, trying her hardest to keep her tears in her eyes. She could not ruin the make up she spent hours doing for her last performance.
"oh now you are being dramatic, not every girl on that team has a boyfriend sitting there." He tried to defend, ignoring the pain in his chest imagining her standing there alone, wishing for him to just be there.
But Eddie could not go against everything he believed in. He already was a hypocrite for dating a cheerleader, he couldn't break down his pride even more. Not when he preached to his sheep about the venom of popularity.
"I don't even know why I still try. Enjoy your club asshole, I'll find a ride with Chrissy." She spat, ponytail harshly swinging as she marched past him, a shove in his shoulder. Not a single word she said went through his brain, just right out of his ears. Too stubborn to even be there for her. Maybe she just needs to pull the plug on them? Was the disappointment worth it every time?
~~
Eddie sat at the lunch table, hearing the boys talk about how excited they are for the campaign, Eddie couldn't match the atmosphere.
He felt so fucking bad. The way she looked like she was going to cry when she walked past him was stuck in his head. He tried to shrug it off, focus on the campaign at hand.
~~
He couldn't, he cancelled hellfire the second all the boys walked in.
"I just don't have it in me." He sighed as he sat at his throne.
The boys watched their leader placing his head in his hand, obviously in distress.
"that's fine Eddie. Take the time you need. We'll just go watch the game? Lucas is playing! Plus it's Y/N's final game." Dustin said excitedly, he's secretly been dying to watch her perform, hellfire always landed the same days as games so he never got to see her.
When Eddie first dated her, Dustin was the most supportive. He didn't give a shit if Eddie liked a cheerleader after all the talk he preached. She was different, it was easy to tell.
Eddie's head snapped up at her name.
"you want to watch my girlfriend?" Eddie questioned.
"duh! I've been dying to see the routines she's made. They sound totally badass but it's always the same as hellfire nights so I never got to go." Dustin shrugged. Having no idea his words were stabbing Eddie even deeper in his heart.
The boys raced out of the room, heading to the gym to catch the game and apparently Y/N's performance.
Eddie truly was the only one who still held on to his words of the popular world. His club didn't even give a shit he was dating a cheerleader, all excited to watch her perform. Now he felt like even more of an ass. Simply refusing to watch her because he was scared of what his club would think of him for going back on his words. An excuse that had no truth behind it.
~~
The boys found the only open spot on the bleachers, quickly filling it with their bodies.
Mike, Gareth, and Jeff quickly searching for Lucas but Dustin was searching for Y/N.
A huge smile on his face when she spotted her stretching, head down not bothering to look at the crowd. Dustin waited for her to look up just once so he could wave, but she never did.
By the time Eddie quit his pity party he got up, collecting his backup and walking to the gym. He walked in the doorway, searching for an open seat but the gym was packed completely. He sighed and leaned against the wall. Maybe if he was a good boyfriend and showed up on time, he'd have a seat.
Eddie realized he was catching the end of the game. The cheerleaders were finishing their last routine. Eddie felt even more like shit, he missed the whole thing except for the final damn flip. Truly never once seeing his girlfriend do something she loved. He watched her closely, a smile of hers usually fixed everything. But the smile she had wasn't real, it looked fake and painful. He could see her blinking rapidly, a sign she was holding back tears. Eddie found himself blinking just as fast. Trying to ignore the burn in his throat.
He stood against the wall for the next ten minutes of what was left of the game. Once he heard the final buzzer go off, he watched as everyone cheered. Lucas was thrown in the air by the team. Eddie felt himself smile at one of his sheep getting supported, maybe the jocks weren't that horrible.
His smile quickly fell when the basketball team moved over, now seeing his girlfriend packing up her bag, alone. Eddie looked to the bleachers to see, in fact, every single cheerleader kissing their boyfriends. His shoulders somehow slumped even more, she wasn't lying. She was the only one on the team who had no one to congratulate her.
Eddie for once decided his pride wasn't worth it. He dropped his backpack on the floor, gathering as much courage as his pathetic body could manage. He went to move but stopped when he saw Dustin running to her. Hugging her from behind. He laughed a little as she jumped and screamed. "That fucker and his little crush."
~~
Feeling arms wrapped around her was the last thing she expected. She jumped and screamed as she turned around.
"OMG DUSTIN!" she screamed trapping him in a bear hug. Dustin didn't even care that she was sweaty, hugging her tighter as she hugged him harder.
She looked over Dustin's shoulder to see the rest of hellfire behind him with big smiles.
"holy shit. What are you guys doing here?" She was confused, the campaign in no way could have been finished. Eddie kept them for hours in that room.
She couldn't wipe the smile off of her face though. Her heart is warming, she had people in the crowd that came to see her.
"Eddie was in a bad mood so he cancelled, so Dustin of course said we needed to come watch Lucas but I think he wanted to see you more." Mike joked.
Y/N laughed as Dustin's cheeks flared red.
"that's adorable." She squealed kissing his cheek. His face turned even redder, completely burning.
Y/N wishes that the good feeling lasted a bit longer, because now she realized, hellfire was cancelled, the boys were here, and Eddie wasn't with them.
Dustin knew once he saw the look in her eyes change what she was thinking.
"I think he went to the bathroom." Dustin quickly lied, not wanting to hurt her more with the truth that her boyfriend never showed up.
She nodded fast, not believing a word Dustin said. She knew Eddie, and Eddie did not show up.
"well I have to go change and head home with Chrissy. Thank you guys for coming. It means a lot." She cried happily, throwing them in a group hug. Waving goodbye as she walked to the locker room.
~~
Dustin was racing out of the gym, marching to the parking lot for a specific van.
"did she ask?" Dustin jumped hearing a voice behind him, turning around to see Eddie against the school wall smoking a cigarette.
Dustin marched up and threw it on the ground.
"seriously Eddie? You are out here smoking instead of being with her?"
"I know okay? I was going to go but once I saw how happy she was when you all were there, I feel like I didn't deserve to ruin her moment."
"Eddie you wouldn't have ruined it. You would have made it better. She wanted you there. Now forget your goddamn stupid pride for one second, take out your balls, and make it up to your hot girlfriend that is way out of your league!" Dustin demanded his finger smashing right into Eddie's chest.
If Dustin wasn't saying something so true, Eddie might just have kicked his freshmen ass for talking to him that way.
But he was right, so Eddie nodded and turned to walk back into the school. His backpack was still in the gym so he walked to grab it. Stopping in his place when he saw Y/N searching the gym floor in a panic.
Eddie walked up behind her, the floor creaking underneath his sneakers.
"Chrissy did you find it? I need to find that ring. Eddie is going to kill me." She panicked, searching under every chair.
"I don't think he'd kill you. He definitely deserves to be killed though" He said. Watching her body freeze as she turned to see him standing there.
She stood up fast, dusting off her skirt. She never got to change, once she made it to the locker room she realized the necklace she wore with Eddie's ring on it was gone. The necklace she wore to every game underneath her uniform, just to have him there somewhere.
"I didn't mean to lose it." She panicked
"I don't even know which ring you are talking about. I promise it's not that big of a deal." He tried to make her feel better.
"NO IT IS A BIG DEAL. It's the only thing I have to pretend you are here with me and I need to find it " she demanded, back on her knees searching the floor.
Eddie couldn't believe how much harder each blow got in his gut. It was like watching a bomb destroy every building one by one. He was watching her fall apart more and more, all because of his pride.
He kneeled to the floor in front of her, grabbing her hands to stop her searching.
"I'm here now." He tried
She yanked her hands free
"doesn't matter now Eddie. I'm graduating and will never cheer again. At least now you won't have to listen to me fight to get you here "
He deserved that, he knew he did.
"I'm really fucking sorry." He whispered, sitting across from her.
"whatever Eddie." She said, following his actions. Sitting with her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly against her legs.
"no I mean it. I have been the most shitty boyfriend ever. Hellfire should never have come before you. My pride should have never been more important than you. I fucked up and I fucked up bad, I know that. The second the boys all cheered I cancelled hellfire and went to the game, I realized I was the only one stuck on my words. None of them cared I fell in love with you. They didn't care if you were a cheerleader and that I was a huge hypocrite. It was all in my head. And I should have been here to be there for you. You deserved to feel as special as you did tonight at every game. I made it to the end. I know that doesn't count for anything. But I am so happy my boys were there for you, when I was too proud to be. I don't even deserve you to even think of keeping me around. You should honestly dump me in the most cruel way possible. Slash my tires or something." He joked, smiling on the inside when she laughed, wiping the tears that were falling down her eyes
"but if for some reason you are just as dumb as me, and still allow me to be around you. I would really love to make this up to you." He finished, hand searching for hers once again. This time she didn't move it away.
"I might just be even more dumber than you are because I love you too." She joked, pushing her shoulder against his. He laughed with her, wiping his own tears.
"doesn't mean I forgive you though. You made me feel really shitty and I need some action to back up your words."
"absolutely baby. I totally understand." He said. Relief filling his body, he has one more chance.
"if you are up for it, I have the rest of my night open. Why don't you perform every single routine you came up with for me?" He offered.
A huge smile stretched on her face
"you really want to sit here as I do over like 15 routines?" She laughed
"as long as you keep the outfit on." He winked. Another smack to his shoulder but the way she smiled warmed his heart.
He has a chance to fix it, and he wasn't going to ruin that.
Tags!
@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975@ago-godance
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gigidragonbbxxx · 11 days
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a personal struggle + an education
this is all just gigi's opinions + thoughts
Reader, I'm struggling with empathy right now.
Don't worry, I'm not suffering from a personality pathology, I promise I am quite sympathetic and empathetic. It's just battling the feeling of wanting to be kind but also seeing a major problem and knowing I need to get it off my chest.
Let me give it to yall straight (with tweaked/paraphrased details to protect privacy and not to out anyone):
I saw a favorite loass coach/twt account/subliminal creator make fun of an "old timey" English sentence either from Neville Goddard or Edward Art. They proceeded to say that they "hate" it and "why can't they just say it simpler". and then someone else commented "they're talking bullshit fr".
The convo thread on twt devolved into an echo chamber that essentially boiled down to the old fool's adage "If I don't understand it, it must be stupid and not worth it."
This really triggered me because
The phrase quoted was not that hard to understand.
It was clear these women were not educated
Why am I judging or mad at people for their ignorance? (this is why I kept quiet on twt and went here to vent. I acknowledge that two things can be true, I can be kind and still be honest.)
I was and currently am still wrestling with these things within me.
On one hand I don't want to judge. I want to be inclusive and welcoming and supportive.
On the other hand - yall don't look educated, yall wind up looking dumb.
I'll say a harsh truth yall and you can go argue with a damn wall but I know I'm right: stupidity is not cute.
My Hot Take (not so hot when you think about it)
The Law of Assumption rewards those who feed their mind with knowledge
Before you argue with me, think about it. Seriously.
I don't want to seem ableist if someone suffers from dyslexia or if someone struggles in school. It's totally okay to have different paths to learning. The importance is still obtaining the information. You can read or listen to the audiobook, etc. The paths to knowledge are varied but in the end the result is the same - THE KNOWING.
The "old timey" sentence that the creator complained about COULD BE READ BY NINTH GRADERS BECAUSE OF SHAKESPEARE EXPOSURE.
That's why I was exasperated. They were complaining about English (the only language in which they are fluent) that is regularly taught to 14 year olds.
Guys. Stand up. Please stand the fuck up.
Who in this world is gonna take you seriously without BASIC COMPETENCY in literature or math?
Lemme roast some of yall if you want to disagree:
Yall wanna be master manifesters and claim to understand the double slit experiment but can't even name the fundamental laws of science or explain them.
Yall wanna be successful in your businesses and don't know how to calculate your profits.
Yall wanna be seen as intellectuals who "understand" more than the majority of the population and yall can't even fucking read Descartes or Shakespeare.
Yall wanna be content creators and don't know how to proofread.
One time I bought an affirmation tape that came with a pdf with all the affirmations listed. The tape itself was excellent but the pdf was riddled with errors! It makes me sad because something that can help change your life, like a sleep tape to saturate, "cheapens" in its authenticity at the price of minor errors. Sigh.
Let me tell you that 100% you can be successful in this world just by going to the end and claiming it.
BUT YOU LOSE A LOT OF TREASURE BY NOT GIVING YOURSELF THE TOOLS TO DIG FOR IT.
THERE IS SO MUCH FOUNDATIONAL INFORMATION WITHIN THESE "OLD TIMEY" TEXTS.
and if you don't like any of it and just wanna watch sammy ingram and manifest like that THEN GO AHEAD BUT DONT CLAIM TO NOT UNDERSTAND A SENTENCE AND THEN CALL IT BULLSHIT.
just be honest and own it!
be honest that you don't wanna read, that you don't wanna be academic and that's 100% okay and you're still beautiful and worth everything but
do not put down the value of what is being said just because you don't understand it
That's why I am frustrated, reader.
I am educated enough to recognize when someone's ignorance is just that - ignorance.
But I am human enough to be annoyed.
So please give yourselves some grace and take the time to appreciate knowledge. Without the knowledge of the law of assumption, we wouldn't all be here interacting with one another.
xx, gigi
p.s. for those of you who are more familiar with reading the Bible via the law of assumption lens - I beg you to think of Solomon. He was asked by God what he would like and Solomon chose wisdom over material things. Why is that? Because through wisdom comes the ability to know how to obtain all one's desires. Food for thought.
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mamawasatesttube · 2 months
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I don't know that much about superboy so forgive me if this is a silly question but what's the deal with Magdalene Visaggio?
not a silly question, dw!! if you haven't read many kon comics it probably doesn't look particularly noteworthy but OOF. OOF.
the tl;dr of it: despite being paid to write him once, she also hasn't read kon comics and it really, really, really shows. i'm talking geoff johns levels of flagrant disregard for the existing character - maybe even worse than geoff? which i say only because i know geoff did read sb94 even if he didn't act like it. but that's off topic; this isn't a geoff hatepost. this is a magdalene hate post.
under a cut for length, lets goooo!
so we start out with her canonizing supermartian. already off on the wrong foot - that's a ship out of yja the tv show which is a completely separate continuity from main comics and a completely different kon than main continuity kon. despite supposedly knowing that, she still shoves them into a relationship in main continuity, despite them never having actually interacted on page in main continuity.
she then goes on to characterize kon as angry and entitled and uncaring, and also in high school again. not only does she directly contradict all of his preboot existing characterization (which is important because kon-el never got reset during flashpoint - he was in another universe and thus dodged that bullet. current kon-el is canonically the same kon-el as pre-flashpoint/postcrisis kon-el.), but also she directly contradicts both young justice (2019) and superboy: man of tomorrow, which are in current continuity, leading one to really wonder if she has read a single comic kon appeared in at all. it's also worth noting that the asshole with anger issues characterization is, once again, much truer to the young justice animated tv show than any comic kon.
also worth noting is that the infamous red hair dye streak? well, uh...
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yeah..............
on her twitter, she once said something about kon-el not being a good name because it's "still a name someone else gave him", called him "the jason todd of the superfamily", and insisted that the meaning of a trans narrative is "burning down your life and reevaluating your place within it":
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kon-el is a name gifted to him to signify his acceptance into his family (superboy (1994) #59) and he was so overjoyed to receive it that he cried. overall, the superfam are very supportive and loving, and introducing strife just to make him run off and live with jinny hex instead of them just because she thinks one can't transition and retain previous relationships is... not it, lol.
her pitch also contained some outrageously egregious christianity bullshit, like villains named "saint", "shepherd", and "savior", as well as direct comparisons between clark and jesus christ. this is... sorry i really just have to say this is Fucking Cringe. i guess the more polite way to put it would be "incredible gauche" (considering the jewish origins of the superfam) but i just can't call it anything else. This Fucking Sucks Dude. i won't even get into the weirdness about genetic bullshit she leans into by introducing kon's "brother" who's also part luthor, part superman, but "luthor-dominant" (lol?) (do you know how genes work even a little bit).
she has quoted the one panel from reign of the supermen where kon says "don't ever call me superboy" a few times, claiming it's the first thing he ever said and no one listened. to me this essentially reads as her going "i've read one of his appearances and i would like to throw out the like 200 issues of character development he had since then in favor of making him my own self-insert to explore MY transition and religious trauma".
basically she doesn't seem to know how to write a story that's not about herself. as a trans person with a positive relationship with my given name (because as a first-gen kid of two diasporic immigrants, it provides an important tie to my family's cultures, to me) and with trans friends who involved their parents in picking new names and so on and so forth, i honestly find it very reductive and white to insist there's only one trans narrative and only one good way for trans characters to be named. i also find her putting her own christian religious trauma into a superfam story off-putting and . well. fucking cringe. i understand and respect that that is her story, but it sure ain't universal and i won't be able to respect her as a writer until it becomes clear she gets that.
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barblaz-arts · 6 months
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Hey, I tried to message you this, but my phone is dumb and sorry if I spammed you! But I love your work, and I don't want to take any credit, but here's my fanfiction on your work of how Vega and Elosie met.
"Hey, Vega! There's where you've been hiding!" I feel my right ear flick at the annoying voice. We're literally five feet apart he doesn't need to shout.
He giggles to himself and I feel his body drape over my shoulder and I harshly elbow him at the contact.
He whimpers briefly and then chuckles as he covers the brusing area with a hand. His drink in the other sloshes a little as he staggers back.
"Piss off, Duke. I already came to this annoying function, because I gave your mom my word that I'd watch out for you at school," I growl as I look over toward the pit.
The natural collection of jagged rocks in a circle created a perfect pit for, you guessed it, parties hosted by drunk dumb teens in the middle of the black forest. The area keeps the bonfire large but safe from spreading to the forest and its great to keep the crowd together, but apart enough so loners like me can observe safley at the tree Iine.
The various teens shout and laugh as the light causes some eyes to reflect in the dark. The myriad of smells clog up my nose. Doesn't anyone teach them there's a thing as too much perfume?
He pouts and the flames reflect in is dark glasses. Tomorrow his baggy grey sweatshirt will be gone and the purple and black Nevermore uniforms will decorate the halls of the newest supernatural generation.
"You know you didn't have to come. My mom wouldn't have known," he rubs his hand on his neck.
"An Addams never breaks a promise," I snarl as I watch the untouched contents of my cup swirl. That, and mother would totally kill me.
I know mom would be upset too and her disappointed puppy eyes are one of the few things that I would make me rather be trampled on by an angry mob.
Now. That's a party.
Duke shakes his head,"You're not having any fun, are you?" He runs a hand through his wavy hair causing it to be even more of a mess.
No. None at all. I'd rather be sniffing around school for hidden things that weren’t on the freshmen tour. Like the hidden society that mother claimed was so easily spotted it was a joke.
"The seniors throw this Homecoming party for new and returning students. It's a tradition to go. Even as irritating as it is." I reply.
"Vega," he sighs. He takes my cup and throws it over his shoulder.
"Your littering." I state as I walk around him and pick up the plastic. I hate it when people defile mother earth.
"Listen, leave. I'm safe here. Just because my mom is your godmother doesn't mean you need to stick around a place that's making you miserable."
I can feel my brow twitch, "I am not. Plus this isn't nearly as fun as you say it is."
He pushes down his glasses and his green eyes reflect the orange flames, "Don't make me use my siren voice."
I stiffen and growl, "Don't you dare. Yoko would kick your ass if you did that to me."
He smirks and puts them back on, "Maybe. But seriously, I'll be fine! Go run around in the woods and dig up a grave or something!"
"YO!" We all turn our heads as a large gorgon holds out a whimpering girl, "Looks like we got a normie crashing the party!"
A few whistles and snarls of irritation echo off of the rocks. The boy throws her down in front of the flames and Duke winces as the girl face plants in the dirt. The crowd approaches her with manic glee.
Someone turns off the music and the cracks of the fire are the only sound.
I know the smell of bloodlust. I usually salivate at the feel of it but this time? It's not worth it to someone whose innocent.
The gorgon jumps down to her feet and crouches. His hat rattles and his eyes grow to slits. "Why are you here, human?"
She whimpers, "S-someone was-s following me and I heard the music-c."
He laughs, "What and you expect me to believe that you'd cross into Nevermore territory willingly?"
"My phone died and I got lost!" She tries to defend. She crab crawls away. Her wide blue eyes scan the area for any allies, "I was at a party and-d,"
A few watch on with smirks, other with disinterested and some in awkward uncomfortableness. The town is still split but not as bad as it should've been.
He stands up and laughs, "You should’ve stayed with your kind."
"Vega." Duke hisses. But before he can grab my hand I leap the impressive distance down.
The gorgon pauses as I calmly stroll forward.
"Mind if I take her off of your hands?" I put my hands into my pockets, my nails have already grown into claws and I smirk putting my enlarged canines on display. I can't help but feel a little excited.
I've never got to fight a gorgon yet.
"And, who are you, Barbie?" I blow one of my neon pink strands out of my face. And I see Duke push his way into the front of the crowd.
My smirk turns into a malic grin and I take my hands out and crack my knuckles together, "Do you wanna find out?
"Don't." Another large male steps next to him and the way his eyes reflect, werewolf.
The gorgon looks to his companion confused. The wolf eyes me and I maintain eye contact.
I'm not sure who the new player is but I'll be more than happy to fight him as well.
The only werewolves I've interacted with were family. And no one wants to fight the Alpha's daughter.
"She's an Addams," the boy says. I cringe as the loud whisper overtakes the area.
"An Addams?"
"Oh, great. Another one."
"Like as in Wednesday Addams?"
"I thought her mom was human?"
The gorgon huffs,"Take the human. You'll do way worse than we ever could."
I make sure to keep eyes on them as I slowly approach the girl, "Are you okay?"
She nods and I wait as she gets up and she grimaces as she puts weight on her right leg.
Duke steps forward and lifts his cup, "Come on Nevermore! I thought this was a party!?" Soon the crowd joins in and I nod my head in appreciation. The music blasts back on. And soon everyone returns as dumb teens instead of scary monsters.
He shoots me a thumbs up and I look to the girl as she looks to the wall of rocks with a frown.
"Hey, can I pick you up?"
She looks over with wide eyes. "Huh?" Dirt covers her face and clothes. There's a few scrapes that are bleeding.
I clear my throat and point to her leg that's she's gingerly standing on. She blushes, "Oh. Yeah, sure."
I crouch and look over my shoulder and try to give a friendly smile, "Get on!"
She gives me a confused look before strattling my hips and I stand with her piggy backing.
"Alright I'm going to jump."
She tightens her grip, "What!?"
I bend me knees and she goes, "Wai--!!!"
I stumble as we land on top of the Boulder. I laugh trying to calm her down, "Wow! You sure are light, aren't yah?" I can feel and hear her heart pounding out of her skull.
She gives me a quizzed smile, "You're weird."
"Thanks!"
I look into the woods as try to see which way is town. Unfortunately, we're upwind and no lights or car noises are coming through the thick compass of trees.
"I came from that way. I think." She points in a direction and I decide to take it.
The walk through the woods is quiet and surprisingly, I find myself starting to relax. I like the solidarity that the woods provides. I walk for some time as my gently swaying makes the girl relax and she puts her chin on my shoulder.
"Is it true?" The girl whispers. I flick my ear as I look out of the corner of my eye she looks away from my pointed ear.
"That you're an Addams?" I feel my arms stiffen. I never cared for the purgatory that comes with my family. I'm quiet proud and don't care for others opinions. Still it's annoying.
She quickly covers, "Not that I care! It's just that I heard from my Uncle Lucas of your mom and how she made a statue explode."
I roll my eyes. That was Thing actually, but not that she needs to know.
"I'm Eloise. Eloise Johnson" She says. I carefully go over a log. She twitchesat my silence and goes, "You know this is when someone would tell me their name in return."
"Vega." I state. I pause as we come out to a field. There's wild flowers everywhere and I feel a smile grace my lips.
It's so pretty. I look as I count the flowers, black eyed Susan's, different asters, and numerous lillys.
I stop and close my eyes as the sweet nectar and fresh air enters my nostrils. The girl behind me seems to be enjoying it too.
I look up at the clear sky and stars. I smile when I see the stars that copy my name. Then, I remember that the town is south of school. So, I go in the opposite of Polaris.
"There was something there. You know?" Eloise whispers so quietly I even have to strain my superhearing.
"It was supposed to be fun. I made myself go out l, cause I promised my mom I'd get into trouble to stop her worrying. I'm also a loner at my normie school. I've never had many friends but everyone was going. So," she shrugged,"Then, the cops came and everyone panicked. I just ran. But when I stopped, I had no idea where I was, and then my phone died. I used the flashlight setting to try to find my way back. I wandered around in the woods for a long time and then this loud crack happened." Her hand tightens on my shirt, "I know you shouldn't run from a predator but I was just...something told me to just run."
"You're human. Not your fault." I try to comfort. She snorts with a watery chuckle.
I stumble out of a thick pair of bushes and end up on asphalt of a road. I turn and see the generic Welcome sign to the town.
I lower down and she takes the sign and slides off of my back.
"You think you can go the rest of the way?" I ask. I look to her leg and she brushes some of her red hair out of her face.
"I suppose I can. Thank you."
I nod and she says, "It was nice meeting you, Vega Addams!"
....
" Can Vega Addams report to the principals office?"
I pick my head up as my cheeks are stuffed of breakfast sausage. I glare at the box and ignore of the student body stares.
Ugh. I quickly inhale my food and then walk to the school's office.
The secretary politely opens the door for me and I pause as principal Barcaly turns around with Sheirf Walker standing next to her. His eyes red and bags underneath showing little sleep.
"Morning Miss Addams," Principal Barclay drawls, "You make take a seat."
"I'm in trouble." I sit and cross my legs waiting for the adults to tell me what I supposedly did.
Mr. Walkers rubs his five o'clock shadow, "Depending."
I raise a brow. Principal Barclay sit and folds her hands on her desk.
"Did you escort a Miss Eloise Johnson home the other night?"
I tilt my head to the side, "Yes, she was lost and I took her to the town sign."
"It that all?" Sheirf asks. I smell the coffee and desperation waving off of him. I try my best to not scrunch my nose.
"Why?" I can feel my heart pick up.
Principal Barclay and Sheirf glance at each other. After a moment.
"Eloise was found dead this morning."
The author shared this to me in my dms too but I figured you guys might wanna read it too :)
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crstormzy · 1 year
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castiel headcannons | my candy love
ok so i have this really annoying habit of inviting fictional characters to live in my head rent free for god knows how long. specially when they are assholes. specially when they're the type of assholes i'm really fond of. specially when they're castiel veilmont.
i also have the even more annoying habit of making extremes out of these characters in my head, but oh well... it be like that sometimes.
anyways, it's 3am where i live and i cannot sleep so here's some of the extremes i've taken castiel to during the last few years i've been obsessed with him:
so, first things first, my man is a genius. i'm not talking the einstein kinda genius, but more of a mozart or michelangelo or something like that. he likes art and he understands it and he is so good at it. like, otherworldly good.
he has an awesome vocal range, but he can rock the higher register. and he can also rock the growls so that makes for an interesting combination.
i don't care what others say, i just know castiel can cook. and i'm not talking instant noodles or frozen pizza either, i'm telling you my man can cook. call it perks of living almost alone from a young age, but he is a really great chef (and a really great lover, so be ready for a lot of breakfast treats if you're dating him).
although he is a singer (and a pretty good one at that), castiel just loves bad karaoke nights. like, all out awful singing: out of rhythm, out of breath, out of tune. he's paid to be a good singer all other nights of the year, so he definitely seizes the opportunity to just be a shitty one for a while.
songwriter is coded into his dna. like, waking in the middle of the night, genius ideas, music out of everything type of songwriter. dude writes like he's running out of time.
his lyrics are so deep, always with beautiful metaphors and the kind of thing that just guts you every. fucking. time.
or they're just vulgar nonsense. there's literally no in between.
can sleep anywhere. tour bus? yeah, sleeping. library table? long gone. the most uncomfortable chair in existence? catch him going. his bed, though? forget it. after midnight his brain simply starts running a mile a minute.
not. a. morning. person.
no, seriously. he hates mornings with a passion, specially during hsl. probably because he's always going to sleep horribly late, but he hates having to wake early for anything at all. the only exception is if he's really really really excited about something.
he can hold his liquor, but he hardly ever drinks enough for it to be necessary because he doesn't like the idea of losing control of himself.
stopped smoking somewhere after high school. he was never really dependant on nicotine and after a while (specially after crowstorm) he just stopped altogether. the sensation was nice and all, but kinda of not worth it anymore.
was bullied into becoming crowstorm's vocalist.
also hates instagram with a passion. shows up once every three months, posts a single story (after his manager grilled him for weeks to make any appearance at all) and promptly vanishes again.
would get rid of his phone if he could but, since he can't, he just isn't much of a user.
castiel please stop telling paparazzi to fuck off please for the love of god the press team is begging you stop trying to rip their cameras out of their hands please please
can be very polite and well mannered when he wants to (but he never does)
my boy is a charmer. like, literally everyone falls for him. and then he opens his mouth and just manages to be the biggest asshole ever.
(he claims it's also part of his charm)
lots of people speculate about how many plastic surgeries he's had. partly because he's very pretty, but mainly because of the nose and the eyes. no one believes his nose wasn't bought, and lots of people think he wears contacts.
(in truth he is terrified of plastic surgery, but, ironically, if he wasn't his nose would probably be top of the list of things he would wanna change)
anyways i could spend literal days talking with how much time i've spent with him inside this silly little brain of mine. these are some of the headcannons i could think of on spot but god knows i have so many more...
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theliterarywolf · 7 months
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Sorry I’ve gotta pop in one last time on this Viv/Lackadaisy controversy (because yesterday was the first I’d heard of it). I feel like an exasperated mother because I’m looking at these two indie animation projects (Yes I’ll still consider Viv indie even with HB being picked up), and going “You little shits, you are literally all you have! You only have each other to watch out for you!” Support each other so you can share your audience and not rely on studios! APES STRONG TOGETHER!!! (1)
Like regardless of how much popularity Lackadaisy has gotten, it will NEVER be on normie levels of popularity like Walking Dead or GoT. These indie projects need to reinforce each other and not create needless drama. They don’t have the financial means/reputation to start slap fights just because you don’t like each other. And for what it’s worth, I think Viv’s donation was from a place of genuine love for other creators (I’ve seen old comments from her on other people’s animatics).
Bwuh, bwuh, but..! Viv is a meanie-poopie face who, because she didn't know proper time-management early on in HB's first season, is literally worse than John K.'s left testicle, tho..!
I fucking hate how so many people behind indie productions just can not break away from middle school-level drama and realize, like you mentioned, that they are all going up against major studios and companies that have more fiscal and legal backing than they ever will.
And this isn't to say that everybody in the Indie space has to be Kumbaya Fingerblasting each other; no! There are going to be people that you just don't like/don't enjoy working with. That's an inevitability in this world. But a professional who has the success of their project/organization in mind and has some God damn socioeconomic maturity knows how to be civil.
Here's an example: at my new job site, they employ the RCA House System. This whole time leading up into new staff members being sorted into houses, I had it in my mind 'Please, God, don't put me in the house with the two annoying motherfuckers on-staff' But I still did my work, was cordial to said two annoying motherfuckers, and was civil.
...Lo' and behold, I ended up getting sorted into the same house as those two annoying motherfuckers but do you think I'm going to be bitchy about it or go on social media to complain and bring a negative light to my team? NO! Because the image and success of the school year is more important than whatever banal issues I may have with the two in question.
And that's the sign of being a fucking professional.
And with the Donation Kerfluffle, I will always remind people: it wasn't just Viv donating: it was several people at Spindlehorse, including Viv, who pooled money together to give to boost another Indie Production because it should be a case of everyone supporting each other in the face of an indifferent/dying industry. So it was from a place of well-meaning and the claims of 'oh, Viv just wants her name on everything' is... so dumb.
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madfantasy · 9 months
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Been crying alot lately not knowing why, nd now I can verbalise it, I need to type it down for the sake of my sanity.. I think its lots of trauma dumping, I'm sorry
I've seen a post ask about if you're an ace would u be in romantic relationships, and I have just thought about how I'm always revolted by these concepts since I was 6 years old.
Having been always groomed to be wed to one of my cousins or a rich somebody to be my highest achievements as it solely focuses on my private parts as my worth and my ability to contribute to the family's "Good reputation" and reap back benefits to.
But I knew, all along, if I was forced to be with someone, that will end me being on this earth or them if they tried going near me. And growing up, I always tried to accept that fact, accept that u need to be pure and clean and be good for wedding and basically enslaved to it, cuz that's all our still impoverished family can aspire to. And on top of the dark thing that happened to me, making me truly believe I have no worth in this world and have prayed to be taken to heaven before I hit puberty, and have tried pitiful attempts to leave it, untill i got faint access to Internet and stole the keys to the locked books, they themselves should have been reading, around 17 years old, found an only opening and escape to reality.
I remember, my refusal was all the firmer the more anyone tries to tell me all about the glamor of being an intimate house maid and the domestic abuse they gloss over that I personally have witnessed time and time again with every couple that visited or we went to. I always respond that i am already one to my guardian's with the same abuse minus the gross intimate part.
I didn't even understand why I hated it so much while everyone is doing it, and as young as 16.
I avoided alot of marriage offers thanks to my guardians being, in one good way, over protective. And me losing my mind every time they brought it up. Literal uncharacteristic melt downs and now they fear the subject after they finally snapped me after saying no for years wasn't enough of a respond.
I'm 30 and the latest offer was from a rich cripple who was willing to pay all my guardians debts and give them a farm. My guardians dream. They turned it down without consulting me.
I've always hated the concept of pairs joined by s*x and the s*x itself. And marriage as a whole never made sense to me, considering the developing world and its problems. But I understand it as a bond if its first and foremost was not for love, it was for safety— mental, financial and otherwise.
And where I come from, independence is supported by the family, you can not survive, work, do anything if you do not have a family, and specially if you assigned a certain gender. So basically, I lived in isolation for the majority of my life, in poverty, marriage seen as the only -allowed- way out.
And it's all stims from a so called religious teachings.. Alot in common in this world, who take it as a personality trait and use it to justify injustice. Even though most of the time they know nothing about it beside what they are told by their authority figures and operat in this world as superior to all others because they were told they r the true religion. I saw on TT a so called mus-girl complaining about her children being exposed to 'rainbow ppl' in school education and having the nerve to complain about it living as a foreigner welcomed to practice her religion in a western country and claims not to be hateful. And yes, Arab ppl call the community 'rainbow' which reeks of the phobia and condescension. Like their religion teaches them to be at peace with all and treat ppl how they like to be treated, yet they fail to apply that when they don't like or lack the emotional intelligence to understand others who are merely different, just different and existing, exactly like them. And they do believe God made everything, so he did make those people, so what their excuse to that? And they exsisted since tbe dawn of humanity. And funny thing is their religion tells them that God made humans different, and urges them to read, to wonder the earth and consider facts and if they don't know to ask who are knowledgeable, and their intentions matters more and if they did unjustly by anyone, who ever they are, they r not a true mus--. It obviously translate to just ask a man who knows nothing about science, empathy or common sense or notice the accumulating facts and only repeat a select few he is told at a religious house. Thinking seems to be a burden these people happily relinquish to others. Which irkes me to no end
I was told all the shit I endured is because it from gods teachings, and it should make me happy. I never stopped questioning if this is a bless then why I was never happy? And why I can't do as I am told
They beat me up when I drew, when I was rowdy and when what now i know is stimming, shaming it as an act of another religion, and it was the running joke in the whole family. Mental health was an immense shame and hush hush, and anyone who seemed to need it was judged to be just a lesser mus-- so they deserve all the pain and suffering they get
I was glad that lady was getting chewed by ppl who was responding to her, but one person said something that just made me burst into tears and I couldn't stopp crying lately..
She said she was a teacher that goes from school to school and stuff so she experienced alot of communities and she noticed the vast differences between children who's family love and support is unconditional and those who don't, they obviously tend to later thrive.
And thats the word..
Thrive
Besides our financial situation never changing to the better, everything else was in decline, my guardians health themselves relying on me even more, and my mental anguish exasperated to a point i barely see a point in life, daily.. I can barely draw now, something I did 24/7
Everything that I am I had to do deep research for just to know that there's nothing wrong with me or im not deserving punishments for. I am ace, I am a gentle Them, I am on the spectrum, and I am Mani..
I did everything I do now in secret and complete agony. I learned English to gave privacy, continued to draw cuz it was my only alive part, and posted online when I was forbidden completely to protect my art from being lost, had to swear that I was nit interacting with others. I lied and one of the few times I was found, I was beaten while a school friend was on the other line in a voice chat. I was more humiliated that my friend witnessed it than being caught.
I still have the deep fear and distrust, I can't deal with social things, having to keep guessing which social cues they are using and not to become a living status, leaving the house the mere thought if it alone is panic inducing, I can never feel safe and cant risk something that might bring any harm to me and my sibs, every few days I struggle not to just delete my whole exsistance online. I can't look at faces even in pictures and if I did or need to I have to mentally prepare myself for so long. I literally had to convince my guardians that I can have a credit card so I can "learn" to do stock shi then used it to have PP and one day i got commissioned, and only when that happened I was able not to keep it a secret. And in its place now I feel the pressure when I can't provide or won't
The rest I still have no luck, I bearly managed to tell them recently that I suspect that I am on the spectrum, reading alot about it lately and it explains even things I couldn't. The nearest I managed to tell them that I am ace and what it is is that I started by saying I find who we are suppose to be wed to disgusting and I already living that glamorous stay at home shi nd co-raising 5 siblings they know very little about. They said fine but don't go saying that out loud cuz God says that marriage is the greatest bless but I won't force u ever.
I just feel my life force almost over, while I experienced nothing of life beyond isolation and constant need, so i cant thrive in anything.. Everything I wanted to do I begged to try was denied cuz either of my privates or cuz we were poor. I wanted to be athletic and do sports but there was no such thing as a second gender sports around. I wanted to be and still wish I could be, a wrestler. Unsurprisingly WWE was my inspiration and practiced as serious as a kid could, having what I believed a super pain tolerance cuz I never cried as I was beaten. I was cut from even watching it because it was "shameful " all of a sudden. Later I understood it was because everyone was shirtless and it was s*xulised by them. Everything became the same later, everything I drew or expressed feared to be s*xual and or homo nd I was punished over, I literally drew dying ppl and bromance alot at first. And they just projected their assumptions on me. I understood later and still can't bear the thought that ppl can project s*x into anything, and it never clicked in my mind because of what I am. And that was their biggest fear. I drew things cuz I saw them beautiful, and they only saw it as vulger, because they can't help but hyper s*xualize everything or assume it being so even with clear indications. Something that happened online too, tumblr nd tt, so it triggers me horribly
Something ace i also realised there's a word for (forgotten ittt ugh)— even though s*x and its mention is completely revolting to my person and I can have no relation to it. I can still enjoy it as a fictional concept, as entertainment, if u will, specially in a muse of two characters I enjoy. So drawing it is fun and exciting and enrichs my naughty side. Until I finish it and I never want to see it again cuz I'm not super good at it yet heh
In my mind, I can love and treasure who ever platonicly, and our bonds does not have to direct our paths in life. My romance is bromance, and meaning I will do everything to make my bestie happy, and my biggest wish is to live like tintin, in a mansion and everyone can be free to go on adventurous escapades, like getting coffee. ( i never done that, so
And this is something I wish to do with my siblings, if the stars were ever to align..
At least have Sherir with me.. puppets make me happy
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bp4545 · 9 months
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Apologise (Angst to Fluff)
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Word count: 2k. I know it's long, but I promise it's very worth it, I absolutely loved writing this one!
Warnings: Swearing, bullying, and mentions of depression and weight loss. It also has a happy ending, and if enough of you like this, I might make a part 2 I wrote this in the perspective of either a Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, but any house will do.
Summary: You've been bullied by Draco Malfoy since 2nd year when a rumor about you liking him spread around the school. It's fourth year now and you've just about had enough of his rude remarks, so you stand up to him for the sake of your own mental health, catching him off guard with an apology.
*Let me know if you want a part two of this with a happier ending!
---
2 years.
2 years of this stupid shit. You've had about enough. 
You walk through the halls with your books tucked in your arm. You refused to make eye contact with anyone anymore, you just felt numb. You didn't really feel anything anymore, not after everything. You were left with no friends and a sad life after second year and you absolutely hated it.
Everything went wrong after a rumor went around, claiming that you had a crush on Draco Malfoy, the one and only.
Gosh you hated rumors, they had no purpose but to ruin the lives of people that they involve, you wished you could forget everything that ever happened. 
---
Second year, the year had just started and you were so excited to be back in the classroom with your friends. 
You walked into charms class, only to find that your friends were already seated on a table of 4 with no room left for you to sit with them. You looked around and saw only one free seat. It was in the table of 4 next to Blaise, Pansy, and you guessed it Draco. You were a friendly person, enthusiastic and full of sunshine, so you didn't think much of it.
You went and sat next to Draco, and he looked over at you with a scowl but composed himself quickly. 
"What are you doing here mud blood" Pansy snarled at you.
"There's nowhere else to sit, and I'm not a mud blo-"
"Sure you aren't, just shut up will you?" Blaise remarked.
You already knew you hated these people. No respect whatsoever, you've never talked to them and yet they treat you like dirt under their shoe.
You tried to ignore them and listen to the teacher in class but it was so damn difficult. Pansy was kicking your feet under the table, Blaise was not so discreetly looking over and copying your answers, and Draco, well Draco... his presence in itself just seemed to annoy the shit out of you.
That was when Pansy kicked your leg a little too hard and the noise could be heard through the classroom. Pansy went red and looked angrily at Draco in panic, trying to think of some excuse as everyone was staring at her.
"Draco! Pick up my quill from under the table!" she winked at him, signaling for him to play along.
Draco looked confused at her and you turned to look at him. He went under the table and pretended to pick up his own quill that was in his hand already, he came back up and gave Pansy the quill in his hand.
He was empty handed and had nothing to write with, so being the nice person you are you grabbed a spare quill from your case and handed it to him. 
"Why are you giving this to me?" he said, clearly confused. His face showed a hint of disgust however.
"I'm giving it to you because you don't have one-"
"IT'S BECAUSE SHE LIKES YOU DRACO!" Pansy screeched. The whole class looked your way again, seeming as if they were waiting for you to respond or fight back.
"Pansy I don't like Draco" you said calmly, trying not to inflame the situation further.
"DON'T LIE L/N, WE ALL SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT HIM" she continued.
You went red of anger, as the whole class burst into laughter, even Draco was laughing at you. 
The bell rung and you stormed out of the class, walking into your dorm and crying.
---
It didn't take long for rumors to spread around the school that you liked Draco, in fact it spread like wildfire. It had only been two days and even the year above you knew about it.
Your friends had abandoned you, I mean, it was much to embarrassing to hang out with a person who was the center of a rumor right? You knew you hadn't picked your friends wisely.
Each day now you would be bullied by Draco and his group of friends, you wished you hadn't even shown up to class that day and none of this would have happened.
---
Yet two years later and all this shit was still going on.
"Oi! L/n!" The books tucked under your arm tumbled to the ground, you had a dead expression in your face.
Draco had knocked the books out of your grasp as Pansy was cackling behind him. You bent down with no emotion to pick them up, you were used to it of course.
"Has no one asked you to the Yule ball yet" He mocked you "Pathetic. It's because you're still so helplessly in love with me huh? 2 years and you're still not fucking over it" he laughed at you. 
You didn't feel anything anymore. 2 years of insults didn't phase you anymore, maybe it used to.
You stood up after collecting your books.
"Knock it off will you Malfoy?" you kept calm, even though he was throwing insults at you. Draco found it intimidating almost. "Just leave me alone" you said in a small voice.
It was then he look a proper look at your face. The spark in your eyes had died, the enthusiastic girl everyone once knew was only a shell of who she used to be now. If he payed any less attention to you, he wouldn't have recognised you as that same 2nd year girl. He felt a heavy feeling of guilt start to build up in his lower stomach.
He keeps his gaze on you as you stare back at him. He can't even see the emotion in your eyes anymore.
After a while he realises he hasn't said anything, he can't muster up another insult at you, no. He feels too guilty, he feels stupid. He can't imagine what two years of putting up with his shit would have done to you. 
You sigh and slowly walk away from him to your next class. Gosh he feels horrible.
---
He walks into breakfast the next day, that same feeling of guilt still pouring over him. Why all of a sudden does he feel this remorse? He finds himself searching through the crowds of people in the great hall, eyes landing on you making sure you're actually eating something. He sees you sit at (your house) table, alone away from everyone else. You pick at a few pieces of food and eat. 
Then he notices your eyebags, you haven't been sleeping. He notices you don't smile anymore, he notices that you've lost weight, you've been starving yourself. He notices you look so different, so different from how he remembered, he wishes he never made you go into this state.
He is going to apologise.
---
You go and sit in the common room, and you go through some worksheets that you have from divination. You inhale deeply and for the first time in a long time, you felt relaxed.
That was until you heard footsteps behind you. You snapped your head up and saw the last person you wanted to see.
"What the fuck do you want from me now Malfoy" Your words hurt him a bit, but he knew it was nothing compared to the hurt you've been feeling all these years.
"I'm not here to be mean to you y/n" he reassured. He caught you a bit off guard. He never calls you by your first name, and his voice sounded soft, apologetic. Oh so he's here to apologise after all this time. "Here eat this" he tells you.
He hands you a small muffin, that looks a bit burnt on one side. 
"I know you haven't been eating y/n, so I made these for you" Then he pulls out a whole paper bag full of them.
You take one skeptically and inspect it. 
"It's poisoned isn't it? Draco I'm tired of this just go please" You pleaded him, you just wanted to be alone.
He sat next to you on the couch, dangerously close, you were sure if he got any closer, your reflexes would have told you to punch him.
"No they're not poisoned. I-" He paused for a moment. Would you even accept his apology? It seems a bit too late.
"I'm here to apologise y/n."
"And why is that?" You raised your voice slightly, you were sick of his games "Why! Why after all this time, you decide to apologise now? Why now, when all the damage has been done! I can't sleep Draco! I'm alone! You know how many friends I used to have? You know how many of them LEFT ME after you spread those rumors, ALL OF THEM, FUCKING ALL OF THEM. I can't even eat anymore, I can't even be happy."
He saw tears form in your eyes, and it broke him. He stayed silent, he could never expect you to forgive him not after everything.
"So no. Draco I don't accept your apology, I don't forgive you, maybe a year ago I would have but it's too late now."
You two stayed silent for a bit, and he shuffled uncomfortably, he truly felt terrible after everything he had done. He had made the brightest person he knew unable to smile. 
"I don't expect you to forgive me" he said softly "I just feel bad, and I wanted to let you know that I truly do feel guilty."
"Well that won't do anything will it" you laughed through your tears.
"I know. But I just want you to know that I am so so sorry, for all the hurt that I put you through."
"Thanks I guess" you whispered, you were glad that the bullying was going to stop now, you just felt that it was a bit too late. He took your hand in his own and stroked it with his thumb, confusing you a little bit.
"And I want you to eat more. I want you to sleep more. Please stay healthy y/n, it hurts me that I was the cause of all this, I just feel so bad that you haven't been happy and healthy lately." He attempted to intertwine his fingers in your own, and you let him, the two of you sat in silence for a bit, comfortable in each others presence, a few tears still slipping down your face.
Draco gently wiped away the tears, staring into your eyes. You saw that a few tears had made its way into his eyes too.
He cupped your face and you smiled softly at him. His heart beat a little faster, it was the smile he had been wishing to see in a long time. He smiled back at you. 
It felt nice having someone care about you after so long, even if it was Draco. You felt oddly safe with him, and the thought made you cry a little bit more, you felt so many emotions wash over you at once.
You broke down into tears once again, and it made Draco's smile falter. He used his one arm to take you by the waist and pull you into his chest, so you could let all your tears out, and his other arm protectively at your back with his hand holding your head in place. He comforted you and hushed in your ear rocking you both slowly.
Your arms found their way around his neck as you pulled him closer. You sniffled and pulled away from him and placed your forehead against his, he was crying too now. 
"I'm so sorry y/n" he whispered again and again. He looked into your eyes and he saw the sparks coming back, his heart fluttered as he saw your eyes flick down to his lips. He slowly leaned forward, looking into your eyes for any sign of discomfort before your noses touched. You felt his hot breath on your face and leaned in to capture his lips in yours.
The kiss was soft, every emotion could be felt, and every apology was heard. Draco deepened the kiss further and you smiled against his lips. Your hands found their way to his hair and his hands gripped your waist, pulling your closer.
You broke away from him, and he was still a bit dazed from the taste of your lips. You giggled at his expression and his heart swelled, he kissed your forehead and you leaned your head into the crook of his neck. You stayed like that for what felt like hours.
"I'm sorry y/n" Draco whispered once again. He put a hand on your back and realised you were already fast asleep on his chest, and he smiled, readjusting himself. He inhaled deeply.
"And I love you"
---
a/n: this was really sad ahaha, I felt like I needed to write some angst but I hope you enjoyed the happy ending:))
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furiousgoldfish · 1 year
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Happy birthday!! Hope it's okay!
I've read your article about how school bullying follows up child abuse and how child abuse creates the risk of abuse in the future, and I wanted to ask something. Idk how and why but child abuse and school bullying were two different, separate things for me 🤨 like I felt that my first experience of being bullied was in high school. It wan't the same and 'nothing uncommon'. I felt devastated like it was the first time ever I was treated like that. Maybe child abuse just has made me sensitive to others' judgement and to how people percieve me? Like the only truth about who I actually am, is in how others see me. What do you think?
Yeah, it can definitely make you more sensitive to judgment!
I don't know if I can explain this well, but this is something that can happen when you're abused at home, but usually feel safe in public areas: you develop 2 types of behaviour, almost like two personalities, one for home, and another one for public. It also changes how you feel about yourself at home, and how you feel about yourself in public, surrounded by other people. At home you're constantly aware that you're not valuable, that you're despised, that you can be hurt at any moment, and that you're disposable. But with friends and in public social setting, you can feel welcome, valuable, like you fit in.
Then, you have to base your self worth choosing from these two settings; if you're well received in public and amongst your peers, you can decide that well, parents must have been wrong about you, because all of these other people like you just fine and want your around, so your parents obviously don't know shit about you and can go to hell with their dumb opinions. You embrace your image of yourself of a person beloved by your friends and you hold onto that in order to survive the hateful ordeal you have to endure at home, knowing it is undeserved and that you're not all that awful things your parents say you are.
But, deep inside you're still scared that your parents might be right. Because they knew you first, and they knew you the longest, and they watched you grow, and their words are etched into your brain. So you're always careful and looking for warning signs that other people might develop these negative opinions of you as well, it's never a truly 'safe' situation, as long as there are people like your parents claiming confidently that you're nothing but a burden or a waste of space.
So then, when you're clinging to this hope that people in your peer setting will view you in a more favorable way, and then you end up abused in that setting too - that's when your entire view of yourself can crash. Because you just received a confirmation that even people who are not your parents, see you as nothing but a target, someone who is acceptable to hurt and harass and nobody will find you worth protecting and saving. It's absolutely devastating, and it can make you question yourself very deeply on how are you perceived and what is your true identity, if everyone around you is okay with you being abused? It's extremely painful, and very cruel for an abused kid to be given a little hope of normalcy, and then to have it yanked away like that, by some kids who don't even know what they're doing or who they're hurting, they're just in for lashing out at someone vulnerable and unprotected.
I only realized way later that bullying had this same negative impact on my self-worth, even if I didn't know it at the time, because bullies just weren't as violent as my parents, so I didn't need to take them as seriously. But they did mean that I was seen as nothing but a target both at home and social setting, and it did manage to isolate me even more, and make me even more certain that I am not a part of society, and will only be hurt and rejected if I ever try to belong anywhere. It is a very painful thing to be put thru.
So in conclusion, yes, abuse makes you extremely sensitive to how you're perceived in public, because your self-perception has already been challenged and weakened by the trolls that live in your home so having the outside world affirming their stance is devastating.
In the contrast to this, not being abused at home can make your self-perception positive enough, that when you're bullied at school, you're aware that these bullies are the only source in your life who find you an acceptable target and that you will be seen differently, and accepted in all other areas of your life. It's still a crisis in not managing to belong with your peers and being seen as an acceptable target in a social setting, and sometimes pride or shame can stop a person from even confiding in their parents about it, but it shouldn't completely crash their self-perception, like it would happen for an abused kid. (I am speaking here just hypothetically, I might be wrong about this, I don't actually know for sure how non-abused children deal with bullying other than what I've seen in tv shows)
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Pink geraniums [P. M]
Peter Maximoff x fem!reader
Word count: 3.5k
A/N: it's just me throwing up my desire to have a father figure in Charles and a very nice first meeting with Peter, I hope you like it
Request (for Peter) are open!
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"I hate you injecting that stuff," you exclaimed, walking into the room. It was completely messy, with Charles in bed. His eyes were slightly teary and he seemed to be looking at the photograph he had on his nightstand, which he had refused to take down for years.
"It's my business"
"What will you do?" you asked, to change the subject and avoid a fight. A few minutes ago, you had received a visit from that maniac who claimed to come from the future, promising a war against the mutants and eventually an apocalypse. And apparently, the only way to prevent it was for him and Erik Lehnsherr to team up to search for Raven.
You thought it was easier for the sun to rise in the west than for those two to work together again.
"What do you want me to do?" he answered. His voice was softer when he talked to you, but he kept sounding annoyed, tired, and frustrated “Listen to that man? Put myself at risk for something I don't even know is real? Or put yourself at risk? he murmured, looking at you.
Things had been very difficult for him, you knew that, but right now you were all he had left. After the death of your parents during the battle on the beach in Cuba, he had practically raised you, educated you, and even when the school closed you had stayed with him. You were like his daughter and after losing his best friend and his almost sister, you were the greatest consolation he had. Although of course, you had bad days and good days, like everyone else.
"Besides, I don't know where Raven is, and even if she did, she won't listen to me."
“She will do it” you promised her “And if not, she will listen to Erik”
"Erik is a killer"
“But he was also your friend”
"He was," he hissed. You knew he was a wound that still hurt.
“Listen, I believe him” you exclaimed. Charles watched you from his place, frowning “I watch the news and I know what's going on in the world, even if you don't believe it. The world fears us and it will only be a matter of time and a couple of bad representatives for them to start hating us” he didn't say anything, he just kept looking at you “I know your relationship with Erik isn't the best, but even I know we need it. And I think that if you sent someone to warn us, we have to listen to him” you asked. You moved a little closer and reached out to put your hand on hers. “It's worth a try, don't you think? For you, for me, for all those who are like us… and for Raven”
There was silence for a moment, in which he kept watching you. His hand turned to take hers, holding it gently.
"Sometimes I forget how much you've grown" he smiled at you.
"And what I'll grow up in" you added, with the same friendly grin he had "But to do that, I need a world to grow up in, right?"
"Yes, it's true," he reflected. He saw him let out a sigh and then stood up, picking up the glass from him with barely a sip of liquor "I hope you're not mistaken"
"I never do" you answered, with a smirk, as you listened to him laugh.
“Sometimes I feel like I fed your confidence and self-esteem too much when you were a kid,” he murmured, still a little amused. He nodded at you for both of you to leave and you walked away, letting him hug you by the shoulders.
At this very moment, he needed someone to support him and you were willing to be that person.
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“Here, here, here,” said Logan (he had asked you to call him that and nothing to do with sir). The three of them were in the front seat and you were in the back, watching everything with amusement. Logan had said that the mutant you were looking for was about your age and you'd be lying if you said you weren't excited to find out who it was. You hadn't dealt with mutants your age in a long time, your only company was Hank, Charles, and the enormous library of the mansion “Next time I'm driving. Don't get used to it,” Logan snorted.
You got out of the car quickly and knocked on the door of the house. It was pretty and you noticed that the doormat was pretty worn. After a few seconds, you were greeted by a woman with a worried expression and tired eyes.
“What's done now? I will just write you a check for whatever he took” she murmured. You looked at Charles with raised eyebrows, silently asking him what the hell you were getting yourself into.
"We just need to talk to him," Logan reported. You saw the woman nod in resignation and then she yelled into the house.
“Peter! The cops are here. Again”
Wow, that Peter sure liked getting into trouble.
A beautiful girl dressed as a princess greeted you and you had a short conversation, where she kindly gave her a flower that made her smile. When you caught up with them, they were already going down the stairs to get to the basement and when you got there you saw a figure moving back and forth on a ping-pong table.
“What do you guys want? I didn't do anything” he exclaimed, still playing. It was difficult to follow him with his eyes until he sat down on the sofa that he had on the other side. Once there he dresses him carefully, silver hair, Pink Floyd shirt, and a pretty face "I've been here all day."
“Just relax, Peter. We're not cops.”
“Of course you're not. If you were, you wouldn't be driving a rental car,” he muttered, hands on his head and feet crossed, showing how confident he was.
“How did you know we've got a rental car?” Charles asked, frowning. He wasn't much of a fan of dealing with annoying teenagers and you knew that from experience.
“I checked your registration when you were walking to the door. I also had some time to kill so I went through your rental agreement. Saw you were from out of town. Are you FBI?” he asked. As well as how he moved, he talked too fast. He saw him run from one side to the other and a second later he had Charles's wallet in his hand “No, you're not cops. Hey, what's with this gifted youngsters place?”
"That's an old card" he replied, uncomfortable at the intrusion on his privacy.
"He's fascinating" you whispered, unable to help it, while you followed his trail with your eyes.
"He's a pain in the arse," added Charles. You knew he was frowning behind his sunglasses.
You continued to see him from one side to the other, while your companions argued.
"So you're not afraid to show your powers?" you asked. He seemed to notice your presence at last and he smiled charmingly at you.
“What powers, honey? What are you talking about?” he asked you, feigning innocence “Do you see something strange here?” he insisted. You all looked at him strangely "Nothing anybody would believe if you told them" he argued, shrugging. Then he ran again, to a video game machine “So, who are you? What do you want?
"We need your help, Peter," Logan began to explain. You walked around the room, looking at the dozens of boxes with food, the televisions, game machines, skateboards, jackets… the guy really had everything lying around.
“Prison break? That's illegal, you know” you heard him say, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"And you would never do anything illegal, right?" you asked ironically. You saw him smile, without taking her eyes off the screen.
"So, what's in it for me?" he exclaimed. You were about to reply when Charles did, his voice exasperated.
“You, you kleptomaniac, get to break into the Pentagon” that seemed to capture his attention enough, as he turned to look at you.
"How do I know I can trust you?"
“Because we're just like you” you replied. He watched you and then his eyes traveled to Charles, searching for an explanation.
“Show him”
Logan pulled his claws out of him and even you looked a bit surprised as your gaze flickered between him and the silver-haired boy.
"That's cool, but it's disgusting."
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Okay, the entrance to the pentagon had been fucking crazy. You had insisted on accompanying them out of curiosity, especially about Erik. He knew you because he had seen you when you were little, but you had no memory of that. And as stupid as it sounded, you've been secretly admiring the man ever since you saw him on TV.
Once there when he was out of his cell there were fistfights (you've never seen Charles hit anyone) and shots you thought you wouldn't make it out alive, but luckily you were saved by a silver flicker.
“You're Y/N, right? Y/P/N's daughter”
"Yes, she is. Please don't talk to her” replied Charles from the seat opposite. Hank had already left for the mansion, but you were in the rental car squeezed slightly between Magneto and Peter, not knowing which way to lean.
"You look a lot like your mother" Magneto whispered, ignoring his partner's comment "I remember you when you were a child, you always wanted me to carry you"
"Really?"
"Really. But you've grown a lot since the last time, it's evident” he smiled at you. He didn't seem like a bad person and you understood why he and Charles were once friends.
You thought about both of them, about everything that could have happened… Would he ever tell you that story?
"Erik" he insisted, with a tone of voice that seemed to warn, "I said don't talk to her, please" he ordered. He was like that, always protecting you more than he should.
You looked in the redhead's direction and he made a sign of putting a zipper on his mouth, which amused you. You looked ahead, hoping that the trip would be less boring until you felt a finger gently touch your shoulder.
"You want to listen to music?" he asked, lips sealed in a line and staring at you. You didn't understand what he was referring to until he extended one of his headphones in your direction and after hesitating for a second, you accepted.
The boy had good musical tastes and the trip was more enjoyable thanks to that. When you arrived at your final destination, the Xavier family plane was already in position.
You went down immediately and were about to go up when Charles stopped you, grabbing your arm.
"You stay here"
"What?"
“You heard me. You will stay here. It's dangerous for you to go with us, especially…” you saw Logan pass by your side to go upstairs, and after him was Erik, who saw you for a moment and nodded goodbye “Especially for him”
"Charles..."
“No, it's not up for discussion” he interrupted you “I let you go with us to the pentagon, but this is too much. You will be safer here” he explained to you. You felt the look of Hank (who had gotten off the plane to talk to Charles) and also of Peter, who were near the car, and you concluded that it was useless to try to change the blue-eyed's mind. However, you didn't say anything else, and your downcast eyes made Charles feel guilty “Listen...” he started to say "Why don't you invite... this guy Peter to stay for a while?"
"What?"
“I don't need to read your mind to know that you like him” he mocked, now a little more animated "This is too stressful and dangerous, wouldn't you prefer to stay here and make a new friend?" he asked, but only got you to roll your eyes "Come on, Y/N, Since we closed the school you haven't talked to anyone your age and a little company would do you good" his hand went to your head, to caress your hair tenderly “You don't have to isolate yourself like me, and you don't have to fight like me. Let me do it, this is my fight”
"It belongs to all the mutants" you corrected him "And that's why I don't want to stay here because I..."
“You want to help,” he interrupted again, “I get it, but you help me more by staying here safe than by having to protect yourself from Erik's bullshit or anything Raven might do. Please, understand me. Understand that my peace of mind comes from knowing that you are safe” he asked. You sighed and nodded resignedly, as you walked over to hug him.
"Can I order a pizza?"
"Sure"
“And ice cream?”
"Yeah"
"And also cake?" you insisted and Charles laughed.
"Take your chance to eat all the junk food I normally forbid you to," he said simply and you smiled. Then Hank came over and Peter the same "We have to go now, it's late"
“I saw your flight plan in the cockpit. Why are you going to Paris?” Peter exclaimed. You exchanged glances with Charles and then with Hank, but they just pursed their lips.
"We'll meet someone there" he simply replied. Then he threw the car keys at her “Do me in favor and return it for me”
"Okay"
"And, Peter?" he continued. He looked at him and then at you “Take it slow”
You heard Peter laugh and by inertia, you laughed too, shortly before walking over to Hank for a hug.
"Please take care of Charles," you asked him, in a very low voice, while the aforementioned went up the stairs "Promise me that he will come home in one piece"
"I promise" he exclaimed. Once everyone got in you also got in the car and Peter drove a few meters to the school parking lot and then you saw the plane take off, disappearing into the clouds.
"Nice place, huh?" he murmured behind you. For a second you had forgotten that he was there.
“It's an inheritance from his ancestors or something. It belonged to his parents and when they died it became his” you explained to him, looking at the castle. Sometimes you forgot how big he was.
"And then it will be yours, I guess," he murmured. You looked at him with a frown. "You're his daughter, right?"
“His daughter? No!” you laughed "I mean, I am a bit, but... it's complicated, my parents died and he took care of me"
"I am so sorry"
"Okay, it's a thing of the past"
"I never knew my father," he told you as if he was trying to tell something bad about his life to make you feel better "It's just my mom, my little sister, and me"
"I met your little sister"
"Before I came she told me that you were very pretty and that you gave her a flower," said Peter, slightly amused. You got nervous at the compliment, even if it wasn't directly from him. You were quiet for a few seconds until he spoke again “I guess I have to go... huh... it was nice meeting you Y/N”
"Same here, Peter," you smiled at him, raising a hand to wave goodbye. He started walking towards the car at a normal pace and you took this as a clear sign that he didn't want to leave just yet.
A little company would do you good, you heard, almost as if Charles was using his powers again.
“Hey” you half-shouted, to get his attention. He turned around as soon as he heard you, "Do you want to stay for a while?"
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"How could you live so many years without listening to Pink Floyd?" Peter asked incredulously. It had already been several hours since they had left and you had taken the opportunity to show him most of the house/institute, even though you knew that he could go through it himself in a second. It was more a matter of hospitality.
Now you were in your room, listening to a cassette on your old player that you were sure Peter had stolen from a store.
“I thought it was music for drug addicts”
"No! I think with this you could stop consuming. I mean, listening to it feels like a fucking LSD trip… or so I think, I've never been high” he argued, making you laugh. In front of you, you had almost every type of fatty food that existed and also a couple of sodas, as well as some sweets that he had never tried but that Peter promised were wonderful. He hadn't been wrong.
You talked a while longer and he told you about how he had discovered his mutation, telling you a pretty funny story from when he was little. Charles had been right, it was fun talking to a boy your age again, mutant and also… well, also quite handsome.
"And what is your mutation?" he asked. You widened your eyes when you realized that in all that time you hadn't told him.
"Chlorokinesis" you replied, but seeing his brow furrow slightly you thought it would be better to explain "It is the ability to control plants"
"Really? Brilliant!" he muttered, genuinely excited, "Could I have a demo?" he timidly asked.
"Sure, but for that, we have to go..." from one second to another, you were in the huge green area that the institute had, and Peter smiled at your side "... outside"
"Show me," he exclaimed, sitting on the floor in a lotus position and watching you intently. You suddenly felt nervous about his pretty eyes on you, but you sucked in a breath and then walked over to one of the trees, placing your outstretched palm on it. Peter frowned as nothing happened, but then he felt an object hit his head: it was an apple. Suddenly dozens of apples began to fall before him, leaving him completely amazed.
"It's very useful if you're out for a walk and you're hungry," you laughed.
"And what else can you do?" he said, with a bright smile. You knelt near him and he suddenly got nervous, but then you made a sign with your hand and many flowers began to surround you, completely covering the grass. You plucked one and offered it to the boy.
“This is a pink geranium; it symbolizes a new friendship” you explained. He smiled and took said flower, brushing your fingers "I've had a lot of free time to study the meaning of flowers and Charles has like a dozen books about it" you added. Peter smiled and straightened up to get closer to you, causing your breath to hitch. You felt him brush your hair to one side and then put the flower you had given him over your ear.
"I've never met anyone like you," he said honestly. "I mean... a mutant."
“Really?”
"You're the first" he confessed "You must know a lot of guys, right?"
“I used to, but it was years ago. Although I've never met someone with super speed” you told him, with a smile. You were still kneeling in front of him and it wasn’t necessary to speak more than a whisper.
“Hey, I hate this, but I think I have to go. My mom must be wondering where I am."
"Yes! Sure, I… I get it,” you murmured. You'd be lying if you said you weren't disappointed that your time with him hadn't been longer. You brushed the grass off your knees, then helped him to his feet, taking a slow (for him) stride toward the mansion.
"Thank you so much for having me, I really enjoyed it," he exclaimed. 
“Thank you for staying. It's been a long time since I've talked to someone who wasn't so grumpy with Charles,” you joked. Both of you were in front of the car and you didn't know if it was wise to wrap him in a hug, but you did it anyway. He reciprocated with pleasure "You can visit me whenever you want, I'm always here"
“Oh, that's… great” he managed to say, not wanting to look excited. He was sure that as soon as he crossed the gate, he would want to see you again "See you soon then"
"Take care," you said goodbye. He got into the car and when he moved forward, he waved goodbye, until you saw him get lost on the road. Before entering you let out a sigh and thought how long you would have to wait to see his pretty face.
You didn't have to wait long, because when Peter saw the altercation that arose in Paris on the news, he didn't hesitate to run to where you were in case you needed any kind of comfort or help.
And for a while, you were never alone again. 
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taihua · 5 months
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @gekidasa whose answers were excellent to read at 2am when I couldn't sleep <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 91
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 437,726
3. What fandoms do you write for? TGCF obviously is the main one, and Tolkien fic is something I regularly write because it feels like going home. I dipped my toes into Genshin fic this year and I've been known to randomly drop one-off fics for other fandoms when the brainworms hit!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
After Hours. The magnum opus. Deserves its place at the top.
I Want to Ki** You. I never expected this fic to get so popular so it amuses me that it's still near the top.
Further Precautions. Dumb humor win!
Carved in bone, heart engraved. The trope inversion amnesia fic!
Bet On It. So near and dear to my heart that I have spent the last two years trying to scrub off the serial numbers for publication and if that ever happens, it'll be amusing to see who recognizes it.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I used to, but then a depression era hit and now I have Inbox (666) and it fills me with dread to look at the number. I do read each and every comment and 9 times out of 10 I start tearing up even if it's something short like "loved this, thanks!"
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I'm too sappy to do actual unhappy endings, but Still Have Time sort of implies a cycle of toxic breakups that can't be fixed.
... I also forgot that I have that one Celebrimbor/Annatar pre-torture fic, which is objectively much worse than breakups now that I think about it. Does it count when Tolkien is the one who wrote the death-by-torture ending for Tyelpë, though?
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them!!!!! But I'll nominate Money Maker, because it's the only fic I think I have ever written, for any fandom, that involves the couple getting married at the end. I bullied them so hard in this AU that I decided they earned it.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Never in the comments themselves, but I saw people being dicks about my writing on Twitter every now and then, which is the unfortunate downside of having a well-known fic in fandom. Not everyone has to like my fics, but like... I can see what you're saying on the public forum in the community that I myself am active in, guys.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? *gestures at my AO3 profile*
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? The most I've done is throw in a cameo from other MXTX fandoms, and I guess that one self-indulgent Sk8/tgcf fic that lives in my drafts and will never see the light of day. I just don't find "they meet!" to be enough of a plot to be worth reading or writing. The thought of writing all that introducing sounds like hell, sorry.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yup, there was that time the person almost word-for-word replicated Still Have Time. They claimed it was an accident and apologized before taking it down when I commented, but that wasn't fun. I felt like a jerk for commenting even though it was blatant theft; they even left kudos on my fic :/
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, I have a handful of my fics translated into Russian thanks to some Twitter pals!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Sadly no. I always thought this would be fun, though, so if anyone wants to try it sometime... just sayin'........ my inbox open....
14. What's your all-time favorite ship? 300,000+ of my AO3 wordcount is for Fengqing and they're always going to be one of the most specialest ships ever for me for many reasons, but I also feel like I have to give a shoutout to Maedhros/Fingon in Tolkien fandom for being my longest-running ship? I got into them in high school and they're the ship that I feel I can just sit down and write something for them whenever I want.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? There was that Fengqing police AU I started and I thought it would be good, but it ended up not really feeling like them and that was part of what pushed me to focus on original writing instead of fanfic this year. Funnily enough, I Frankensteined some of the concepts from that AU into Constellate, which is to date my only unfinished WIP on AO3. I never really had a plan for what I was doing with that fic and I thought I could just power through it, which failed miserably.
16. What are your writing strengths? Humor, probably! It's hard to be funny in writing, but I do try.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I have about a year's worth of fic that needs to be line edited and reposted because I was cueing--sentences like "He felt that he was afraid" rather than "His heart pounded in his chest" etc. A writing teacher pointed it out to me this summer and I've been consciously trying to fix it, but I know a lot of my fics are worse because of this.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I never see this done well in fic. Personally, if I'm writing Chinese characters in China in an English language fic, it's implied that they're speaking Chinese, so there's no need to stick "Hao jiu bu jian" in quotation marks, yknow? It only makes sense to change languages if it's implied that this section of language is different from the rest of the narrative, and even then it can be distracting in a bad way to have it written out rather than saying "'Hello,' he greeted in French."
19. First fandom you wrote for? Lord of the Rings probably. I'm not going to look at my FFN profile to check.
20. Favorite fic you've written? I have lots of favorites for lots of reasons, but I'll give a shoutout to No smoke without fire this time because it's my only OC-centric fic and I'm happy that people like it anyway even though OCs aren't really a thing in danmei fandom.
Tagging: I will take the lazy route and say steal it and tag me. I like reading answers to these
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lennsart · 8 months
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KHOC Week Day 4 5 : Alternative Universes
@khoc-week
Today is a day that is a little scary to me, since I want to share some of my writing for the first time !
I'm constantly writing about KH, and my current obsession has been to imagine an highschool AU with the KH kids. I know, taking away the magic isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I was inspired !
The main characters of this fic would be Xail and Vanitas, who would meet... In a closet. Thus, I eloquently call it "The closet AU"
The first paragraphs are under the cut ! It's not too long, less than 1000 words.
Sometimes, Xail was able to function with very little sleep. Her insomnias were tough, and she was used to short nights. 
But today wasn't one of these days.
She fought to stay awake for the whole hour before lunch, too focused on keeping her eyes open to listen to the teacher. 
And she knew for a fact it wouldn't do any good long term.
So she grabbed a sandwich at the cafeteria and decided to find a hiding spot to sleep during the break. If she could only get one hour, it would probably get her back on track, at least for the rest of the day.
She had noticed one of the stairs had a space below it, and though it was closed by a door, it was worth trying. Thankfully the corridor around was empty, probably because everyone was eating.
But no one waited for Xail during breaks anyway.
...
Pushing the door, she realized it was unlocked. If that wasn't a sign that it was the perfect spot, she didn't know what would be !
She entered, closed the door and enjoyed the dark for a minute. 
Just a minute, because before she knew it, she was fast and sound asleep.
It really was the perfect spot.
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Vanitas Hated people, with a capital H. If school had taught him one thing, it was that everyone had their own way of being insufferable. He'd rather spend his whole time alone, even though he didn't particularly find his own company pleasant either.
But everything was better than a conversation with people who forced smiles to conceal how much they thought he was a freak.
Thus, like a freak, he hid in a hole.
Well, not a real hole. More like an abandoned closet. 
The thing was out of use and sealed off, but nothing that his studded boots hadn't been able to open.
And as long as he was careful to close after he left, no one would know better.
That was what he thought.
But two days ago, he found his closet open. It was empty, so he thought nothing of it. Well, that wasn't true ; he did think something, and it was : "fucking wind".
Today, though, he opened the door, and someone was there.
" - What the hell ?! "
It got out before he could think of anything else.
There was a girl. In his hiding spot.
And she was sleeping.
Well, she had been.
" - Dude, " she just said, hiding her eyes from the light.
Vanitas felt inexplicable shame, realizing someone found this closet. And he hated that.
" - Get the fuck out ! " He grunted, teeth gritted. " That's my spot ! "
The girl sighed.
" - Yeah, well that was also mine.
  - Since when ?? "
He had spent all his breaks there since the year before, so obviously this girl was a liar.
" - Since last week, actually. "
...But he hadn't been in school last week.
Of course. Of fucking course the week where he wasn't here, someone discovered his spot.
Somewhere deep down, he knew his anger was unexplained, and that it was silly to get worked up for a closet.
But it had been his private hidden spot for a year now.
Who was this girl to claim it as her own ? 
" - Look, I've been spending my time here since a whole fucking year now, and it's only for one reason : being alone. So if you don't get out of here, I'll make you. "
She looked pretty unimpressed, which was infuriating. Half the school was scared of him. Why would this newbie be so indifferent ? 
" - Ok, " she started, " I don't know why you hide here, but I slept like 4 hours in two nights, and I'm hanging on by a very thin thread right now. I'm not even sure I could walk away if I wanted to. You can do whatever you want, I'm about to pass out anyway, so please, close the goddamn door. "
At this moment, he could have grabbed her and threatened her. He meant it when he said he could've made her leave ; he fought bigger people than her, and she didn't even look that heavy.
But something in the fact that her bravery was only sleep deprivation had maybe, just a tad, made this girl's presence more bearable. And it was maybe, just possibly, because it made him think about himself.
He closed the door, furious that he was listening to her.
" - You rock, " she declared, and he heard her turn over. 
He would sulk for way longer than he'd ever want to admit, conflicted about the fact that it was nice to hear.
That's it for now ! I just wanted to show their personality and the context, but it's still a draft. And since I drew a little something for this AU just yesterday, I decided to add it as well :
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...Where Xail ends up by buying Vanitas' friendship with chocolate !
That's it for today, and probably the rest of the week ! If I post anything else for this year it'll probably be late. So I'll only watch the other posts and wish you all a nice end of the week !
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justwannaflex · 3 months
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(—) ★ spotted!! ARTEMIS GOLDWYN on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 24 year old looks like GRACE VAN DIEN, but i don’t really see it. while the ACTRESS is known for being GENTLE my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be DIMWITTED i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song POCKETFUL OF SUNSHINE by NATASHA BEDINGFIELD {she + her / cis female}
Headline
I'm walking on sunshine, wooah. I'm walking on sunshine, woooah. I'm walking on sunshine, woooah. And don't it feel good!
Stats
name: artemis goldwyn
alias : artemis könig
age: 24
nicknames: tba
date of birth: 1999
place of birth: New York (USA)
nationality : german & american
gender identity: cis woman (she/her)
sexuality: heterosexual
family : scott goldwyn (father), laura könig (mother), madeline kennedy, amity goldwyn, kaya khalid (half-sisters), atticus goldwyn (half-brother)
occupation: actress
career claim: merritt patterson (hallmark credits) & tba
net worth : tba (it's daddy's money)
spoken languages : english and german
positive traits: gentle, energetic, benevolent, flexible, insouciant, loyal
negative traits: dimwitted, gullible, predictable, dependent, passive, shortsided
characters/celebrities inspo: tba
zodiac sign : tba
Bio
Artemis is the quintessential nepo baby. Born to an actor and a model. Never struggled a day in her life. She is very sheltered and lives in her delulu reality.
She was born to superstars Scott Goldwyn and Laura König. An american actor father and a german model mother. Artemis might have been an accident and the product of a short and tumultuous relationship but her parents still loved her. They hated each others but they loved her. Which made for an interesting childhood. Scott and Laura acted like her friends and not her parents. They competed for her attention and love. Each one wanting to be the favourite. In result, Artemis never wanted for anything and was barely faced with the word no. Had she not been good-natured, they would have made a spoiled monster out of her.
Her real parental figures were her maternal grandparents in Germany and her parents' staff. They were the ones who actually had to educate her while Scott and Laura played the good cops. Artemis was homeschooled to be able to follow her parents' lifestyle. She moved around constantly between Germany and the US. While she never went to school, she spent plenty of time with other children : her neighbours, half-siblings and family friends or entourage's kids. A social butterfly, she hated to be alone and would always cling to someone.
Artemis was kind and pretty. She had that going for her and never cared about being anything else. She knew that she was not smart nor athletic nor gifted. She was just the nice one and she was content with that. As it was enough for her parents, she did not need to be more.
At fifteen, she decided that she wanted to be an actress and follow into her father's footsteps. She told everybody about her wish and got mixed reactions. After hearing many people say that she would have it easy and get roles thanks to who her dad was, she decided to use an alias. She picked her mother's name König to try to have an acting career of her own. Her parents were very supportive of her choice, even if Scott wanted to help her. They both agreed to let her do it her way.
Only it did not work out of her. Perhaps she was not hungry or hardworking enough. She did not need the money. Neither did she crave stardom. As a result, her imdb page credits were extra, guest-starring and tv movie roles. She did not really understand why her career was not picking up. The people around her were getting their big breaks. Most of her siblings and friends were doing great but not her. She was stuck playing big city girl falling in love with the lumberjack.
After watching her tenth holiday movies, her dearest daddy stepped in. He had had enough. And her nepo baby era began. Now Artemis gets cast in the movies her father produces or he uses his connections to get her roles. She let go of her alias and proudly introduces herself as Artemis Goldwyn. The media both love the cute father/daughter red carpet moments and slams her for being someone's daughter or someone's sister.
Her entourage does a wonderful job at blocking the negative press, allowing Artemis to mostly live in her perfect little world where everyone love her and is proud of her.
Career
She started her career as Artemis König. She could not land anything major. She was never the lead, nor even the supporting actress. She spent years as pretty girl #2, hospital victim, bully or yoga instructor. Eventually, she got her "big" break with Hallmark. She became a lead in television movies but nothing that would make her step on a red carpet or win an award.
It became obvious that her career was not going to be a prestigious so her father, actor and producer Scott Goldwyn stepped in. Artemis changed her name back to Goldwyn and stars in the movies her father produces. He also uses his connection to get her roles.
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valeskafics · 1 year
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A Game of Proms - Chapter 40 (Finale)
A/N: afgdjdsag the first story i ever wrote........ over :') ALSO THIS IS ALL ACTUAL TEXT BTW THERE'LL BE AN SMAU EPILOGUE LATERRRRR
TW: profanity, innuendo, mild angst
Word Count: 750 words
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
Tag List (comment if you wish to be added/removed): @myspotofcraziness
"Robb," Joffrey says nervously as Robb returns, “Look, about the whole thing with Alex-”
Robb shakes his head, even though it’s obvious to anyone with eyes that he’s hurting, “I don't give a fuck anymore, Joff."
"I didn't fuck her," Joffrey's voice drops, “It was this whole thing Talisa came up with. I was just so angry that she wanted you instead of me. I wanted to ruin things between you two. We haven't hooked up in ages. Since the day school started. The day she saw you again. And I'm... I'm in love with her, Robb," Robb's eyes widen as Joffrey breathes heavily, "I'm not someone who falls in love. You know that. I've faked love my entire life. I break hearts. No one breaks mine. I'm a cold hearted fuck. But no one's ever made me feel like she does. Compared to Alex, my whole life has been fake. Nothing was real until her," Robb encourages him to go on, "She's like sunshine. She makes everything better. She makes my life worth living."
Robb shakes his head, "I get it, Joff. It's fine. I'm glad you've opened your heart to someone. I hope you two are very happy together."
"No," Joffrey insists, placing a hand on Robb's shoulder, "No, Robb. She loves you. Not me."
Robb struggles to keep his voice from cracking, "No she doesn't. She hates me now. She doesn't want me. She never wants to talk to me again.”
"Are you serious?" Joffrey chuckles, "She's been in love with you since we were kids. You're my best friend. And so is she. If you love each other, I won't stand in your way. Just tell her you love her. Love her the way she deserves. Cherish each day with her. Kiss her like you mean it. Hold her hand. Never hurt her. Make her feel like the princess she is," Joffrey's voice cracks, "And when she's in your arms and you have her, don't you dare let go."
Robb hugs his friend, a tear of happiness escaping his eye, "Thank you, Joff. Thank you so much."
"Go get her," Joffrey smiles, ignoring the ache in his chest.
For once, Joffrey Baratheon has done the right thing.
"Lex!" Robb bellows, chasing after her and Margaery.
Margaery smiles, seeing him first, "I'm going to find Loras. Someone's here to see you, by the way."
Alex turns to see Robb, a sweaty, panting mess.
"What the fuck do you want, Robb?" she demands, crossing her arms angrily.
"I'm sorry," Robb responds breathlessly, pulling her into a tight embrace, "I'm so fucking sorry, baby. I was horrible."
"You really hurt me, Robb," she mumbles, keeping her arms at her side, "I cried because of you. I haven't cried in years. You would know."
"I know, love. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you let me."
"Why should I?" Alex demands, voice muffled by Robb's jacket.
"Because," he lifts her chin with a finger to meet her eyes and takes a deep breath, "I'm in love with you. I've loved you since we were kids. I love your smile. I love your laugh. I love your honesty and your kind heart. I love everything about you. You're the bravest, strongest person I know and I love you. I always have. I always will."
The fireworks start and Alex smiles and turns to see them.
"You know," she whispers as they watch the montage of Disney kisses in the sky, "You kinda look like..."
Robb cuts her off with a passionate kiss, only stopping for air. Alex leans back slightly. She gazes at him with adoring eyes.
"Prince Charming," she grins bashfully, "You're my best friend and the biggest asshole on this side of the Atlantic, but I'm in love with you. God, I'm so in love with you. I love you for telling me like it is and calling me out on my bullshit. I love that you accept me for who I am and I don't have to pretend with you. I fucking love you, Robb Stark."
He chuckles, wrapping his scarf around her neck to pull her closer, "I fucking love you too, Alexandra Ironthrone. I fucking love you. Be mine. Now and forever, baby."
"I always have been," she whispers, jumping up into his arms and wrapping hers around him, "And I always will be."
He lifts her and twirls her around, kissing her. His princess. His happily ever after.
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sylviareviar · 3 months
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Sylvia, how do you look at all the friends who care so much about you and still think you don't deserve it?
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She took some time to formulate her thoughts. "...the thing about anxiety is... no matter how good of a person one might be, there's always a niggling doubt in the back of your mind-- and it can vary in volume. Doubts such as 'what if I'm faking being a good person,' 'what if I really am selfish and undeserving of love,' 'what if I've tricked people into thinking I'm a good person,' et cetera. These emotions cloud judgment and distort your way of thinking. I'm only saying this because I've seen it in other people, and it's very possible I'm going through that exact same thing. I don't know what the world is 'supposed' to look like, because to me, everything is bleak and terrifying. If someone blames me for something that happened, I take responsibility no questions asked. Not because I actually think I did it, or that it's my fault, but because I deserve to, so I blame myself, too. Other people are much smarter than I am."
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"If I blame others for my own shortcomings, that negates my own responsibility, and I will hurt them. Even if they hurt me first, I should never ever cause pain to anyone. If that means I put myself down and shove knives down my own throat, I'll gladly do it. Besides, no one wants to be friends with someone as ugly and scarred as me. The people I interact with either do it out of pity, or they don't know who I really am. You know how the Phantom Thieves have the power to see into people's hearts-- or at least, so they claim? I'll bet if the Phantom Thieves looked into my heart, they would see a horrific monster, bleeding and dying, being torn apart at the seams, crumbling into dust and tearing its own heart out. Who would want to be friends with something so disgusting and cruel? I certainly wouldn't know how to handle someone like that. Friendships don't last, anyway. I may have friends now, but I won't for long. Either I'll die or I'll leave and go back home. Either way, our bond will not last, because I'm not worth it."
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"I guess the best way I'd describe it is... I think I might be lying to my friends. Once they find out, they'll either hate me or we'll naturally drift apart. And that's okay. It happens every time, so I don't expect this to be any different. I'm lucky I can even say hello to them at school, honestly. If I can't even recognize who 'myself' really is, then how can I expect my friends, who have known me less than a few months, to do so? I doubt even my siblings and Papa know who I'm really supposed to be. I could put up a request for a change of heart on the Phan-Site, but I'm also worried. If they change my heart and I become more selfish, my personality will change. I will come to terms with the idea of hurting people, and I'll start to heal. And... I don't think I want that. Maybe that in itself is a bad sign, but I'd rather die. I don't know why, but I get the feeling I might not wake up soon..."
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