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sirianasims · 2 days

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Chapter 43.5

Idiot.

The voice in my head is persistent. It’s been over two months but it’s not letting up.

I try to focus on the lines, struggling to keep the faint remnants of my Tartosan accent from creeping into Llama Man’s commanding voice. It’s always more difficult just after I’ve been home.

Idiot.

Images from the last year keep flashing by, little details seared into my brain. Her green eyes. Her smile. The delicate birthmarks artfully strewn across her face. I used to insist on kissing each of them goodbye before I left and it always made her laugh.

It was the best sound in the world.

Idiot.

The more recent images are a different story. Her tears. The look of shock and confusion in her eyes. She didn’t understand, of course, and some days I’m not sure I do either. Am I an idiot for leaving her? Or for letting myself fall in love with her in the first place?

Both?

“Alright, Paul, that was good, but let’s do an extra take just to be sure.”

I nod at the sound technician and start over.

“I’ve sent the files off to Mike. Personally, I don’t think he’ll demand another round, the last two takes were flawless.”

“Thanks. I’m sorry for dragging you in for pick-ups again, I’ve been feeling a bit off lately.”

“Hey, it’s a pay check. And I’m going to need it for the move. We want to get settled into the new house before my son’s wedding so we’re already packing.”

“Did you find a job in Henford yet?”

“Not yet, but my wife got an offer. We’ll make it work. My kid is the only family I have left, so if he moves abroad, we follow. And I never liked staying in one place for too long anyway, I get restless.”

“Well, best of luck over there, Charles. The new sound tech will have some big shoes to fill.”

“Thanks, Paul. It’s been a pleasure working with you.”

Charles leaves, and I turn on the coffee machine.

I’ve just finished pouring two mugs when Lee arrives.

“Oh, you must have read my mind, love, I am positively dying for a coffee right now.”

“When are you not?”

Lee settles onto the sofa with a sigh.

“It’s been one of those weeks, deadlines put such a damper on my creativity. But how was Tartosa? Did you have a nice birthday?”

“It was fine. I didn’t feel like making it a huge thing, but my mother had arranged a family dinner at the vineyard.”

“Ah, just an intimate and completely non-threatening gathering with fifteen to twenty people, then.”

I lean back against the counter and take a long sip of the coffee to avoid responding. It’s still too hot, and I grimace as the liquid burns my mouth. Idiot.

Lee isn’t so easily deterred, though.

“So, that’s it? You’re just never going to see her again?”

“Lee, first of all, she blocked me. On my birthday, no less. So I’m going to take that as a big fat hint and respect her wishes. Second, I broke up with her because it was a dead end. She’s not going to settle down for another decade, and when she does, she’s not going to pick some fifty year old relic.”

Lee raises an eyebrow.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Yeah, I said it. Sorry to break it to you, Lee, but you’re old. Ancient. Practically dust.”

“I’m choosing to ignore your hurtful remarks because you’re clearly heartbroken and out of your mind with grief.”

I snort. “Sorry. I’m fine, really, I’m just annoyed at myself.”

“For irrationally breaking up with the love of your life or for stubbornly refusing to reconsider?”

“For being an idiot in general, I guess. I knew it was a bad idea. I even told her as much the first time I met her. But then I just had to go back and talk to her again like a complete dumbass and she practically invited herself back to my hotel. How could I say no to that?”

Lee chuckles. “Oh, but you couldn’t, of course you couldn’t. I mean, she’s not exactly my type, but I can still appreciate the aesthetics, as it were.”

“Right? And that might even have been fine if it never went any further, but I got carried away and kept seeing her even though everyone could tell it was going to end badly. We’re both better off like this, I’ll get over it.”

Lee just looks at me over the rim of his glasses.

“Are you sure? I may be a dusty old relic but as far as I’m aware, the only way you could possibly know that she blocked you is if you spent your birthday trying to look her up.”

“Thanks, detective. It was a moment of weakness, you don’t need to rub it in my face.”

“I’m not trying to rub anything in your face, love, I know it’s not your thing. But you were clearly serious about her if you were planning to bring her to Tartosa. And just because the poor girl understandably got slightly intimidated, you drop her like a newborn giraffe. Why not give her some more time?”

“I didn’t… Lee, it was the sensible thing to do! I just turned forty, I can’t just spend years waiting for her to make up her mind and hope for the best.”

“I don’t share your fetish for monogamy, but I believe all relationships are like that, you can never be certain. But you’ve always been stubborn so I’ll just give you the usual break-up advice. Get a haircut, hit the gym, put yourself back out there. Will you at least see my stylist?”

“Never. I am not brave enough to let Jessica Clemons near my wardrobe.”

beginning / previous / next

#duchellilegacy #duchellichapters #duchelligen5 #paul romeo #charlie ward #lee thompson #oh hi charlie #bye charlie?#two protagonists? in this economy?#it's more likely than you think

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itsoneinthemorning · 2 months

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et tu?

#ides of march #julius caesar #caesar #rome #ancient rome #beware the ides of march #et tu brute #shakespeare #i love making these #my fav meme format i think #it's more likely than you think

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memorizingthedigitsofpi · 1 year

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you know that tumblr post that goes "I don't want my fantasy media to be realistic, I want it to be convincing"?

I think a corollary to this is I don't want my fandom experiences to be unique, I want them to be sincere

That's why I enjoy reading the same tropes over and over again. Those authors are writing those stories from a genuine love of both the tropes and the characters.

It's why I enjoy 17 gif sets about the same 3-second interaction on screen. Each one of those sets was pulled and recoloured and captioned and adjusted because each one of those gif makers wanted to capture that moment and celebrate it.

It's why every "I'm glad you enjoyed it" reply makes me smile when I get one on a comment I left. Because I know replying to comments is hard and kind of awkward, but I also know that the author really *is* glad and I'm happy that I could let them know I enjoyed their work.

I love things that are new, sure. But I also love things that have been done a million times already because I know the person doing it loves that thing too. I love the love they're showing. I love the genuine joy and celebration and community it fills me with.

#who me?#being soppy and sincere on a monday night?#it's more likely than you think

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kinschi · 3 months

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Sets of three ✨️

#encanto #familia madrigal #encanto fanart #kinschi draws #madrigal siblings #pb&j #isabela madrigal #luisa madrigal #mirabel madrigal #dolores madrigal #antonio madrigal #camilo madrigal #pepa madrigal #bruno madrigal #julieta madrigal #kinschi drawing encanto fanart in 2024 again???#it's more likely than you think #decided to finish some old sketches

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justanothercinemaniac · 5 months

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#Godzilla #Godzilla Minus One #it's more likely than you think #Godzilla Minus One Spoilers #Godzilla Memes #Meme #Mine

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shittybundaskenyer · 7 months

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#mass effect #mass effect fanart #fan art #shakarian #commander shepard #female shepard #garrus vakarian #garrus x shepard #shepard x garrus #oc: senna shepard #back to my usual style #also a cool-toned color palette? in my art?#it's more likely than you think #i'm trying to build back my confidence in drawing with shep and garrus #they have me in a chokehold #i love them so much <33

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halogalopaghost · 3 months

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#I'm so sorry #tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #shitposting? on MY tumblr blog?#it's more likely than you think #katanashipping #turtleposting

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opbackgrounds · 5 months

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Oda plays a lot of horror tropes this arc, usually for comedy. The no reflection thing is more commonly associated with vampires, and while some stories will say that it's because old timey mirrors were backed with silver, others give the reason as vampires having no soul. Which is ironic, because all Brook has left is his soul

It's very similar with Brook having no shadow. Bram Stoker's vampires didn't cast shadows.

#opbackgrounds #one piece #ch443 #encyclopedia Oda strikes again!#brook #literary references in *my* manga?#it's more likely than you think

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avayarising · 8 months

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Heads-up to all you lovely dpxdc folks that the Batcave canonically has ecto-detectors.

This is from Nightwing Year One: Deadman Talking, published in 2005 but set at the time when Dick (aged, I'd guess, seventeen or so) had first left home under a cloud and Bruce was on the point of taking in Jason. The guy overshadowing Alfred is Boston Brand, aka Deadman, ghost and member of the Justice League (and/or Justice League Dark). Bruce asked him to spy on Dick because he… well, you know what he's like.

I'm sure something can be made of this in one of the many AUs where Bruce takes Danny in without knowing about his powers, or where Danny tries to sneak into or gets taken to the Batcave.

#dpxdc #deadman #ecto-detectors? in my batcave?#it's more likely than you think

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laurelgreen · 1 year

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Turn and cough.

#Star Trek: Picard #Star Trek #it's more likely than you think #Memes #Captain Picard #Jean-Luc Picard #Borg #Star Trek: The Next Generation #Picard #Admiral Picard

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luckyraeve · 2 years

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I saw Oscar wearing a cowboy hat and my brain wouldn't let it go until I made it everyone else's problem. so, here's my Moon Knight western AU featuring spooky cowboy Marc Spector + horse Khonshu (i started calling him Horseshu while drawing this and now I can't stop 🤣).

* please reblog to show support. do not repost*

#moon knight #marc spector #khonshu #oscar isaac #moon knight show #moon knight ART #marvel ART #luckyraeve ART #finished work #marvel fangirling #colour?#in my MK art?#it's more likely than you think

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ryuki-draws · 1 year

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Astro X (he's fine)

#transformers #maccadam #tf astrotrain #astrotrain #cyberverse #one day I'll draw his whole non-localized design #also am I tempted to draw timeline X Grease even though it'd make no sense for him to exist there?#it's more likely than you think

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ecoamerica · 20 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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reimeichan · 6 months

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I was diagnosed with severe combined type ADHD well into my adulthood. The many years of undiagnosed ADHD has a major source of my trauma, and I hate it so much.

I know a lot of people think of ADHD as a silly, quirky disorder. Someone with ADHD has trouble sitting still, has focus issues, has short term memory problems, etc. None of this sounds like anything so bad on the surface.

What people often don't see is... how people like me are treated.

(tw child abuse ahead)

Growing up, I was often punished and berated for things that "normal" kids could handle. I constantly forgot my homework, couldn't get the executive functioning to start on projects until the last minute, would be so hyperfocused in a book that I would miss dinner, be unable to sit still long enough to practice piano, etc. And each time that happened, I would be punished for it. Hit, spanked, yelled at, grounded, belongings destroyed... it was constant, daily punishment. It felt like I could do nothing right. Pretty much all of my punishable actions could be tied in some way to my undiagnosed ADHD.

It was genuinely awful and I have a lifetime of trauma from that. I'm scared of even shaking my foot when I'm by myself in my own room, I feel guilty for spending any amount of time reading or playing video games. I beat myself up for my lack of executive functioning. And my parents never, ever tried to help me learn those skills. All they did was try to beat those "habits" and beat the "laziness" out of me. And tell me that "all kids experience that, you're just making excuses" (I now know that ADHD is often found within the same family, and I highly suspect at least one of my parents to have it as well to the point they normalized their own experiences).

I can genuinely say that many of my mental health disorders (the DID, the depression, the anxiety, the suspected NPD, and anything else I've missed) can all be tied back to my undiagnosed and unmanaged ADHD, and all the trauma that came with that. Hell, even into adulthood, I struggle more with my ADHD symptoms than I do with anything else. If anything, the other things just further exacerbate my ADHD struggles. It genuinely sucks.

This isn't to say I find all aspects of my ADHD bad. I genuinely enjoy the hyperfocus (when it's hyperfocus on something I actually want to hyperfocus on). I think the way my brain jumps from topic to topic, connection to connection, has made me more creative than many of the people around me. And it's very much a part of me that makes me kind of uniquely "me". But also... I know it's such a big part of my trauma history that to try to paint it as this positive thing in my life would be a lie.

But yeah. I wish we talked more about how traumatizing living with ADHD is.

#trauma #adhd #mental health #actuallyadhd #actually adhd #tw child abuse #ask to tag #by purple #wow a serious post by purple for once?#it's more likely than you think #my side of the system holds so much of the ADHD trauma #and my side also expresses the ADHD symptoms most severely #I also had a bit of help from Gray to make this post so #by gray

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mysteryninjasweaterdork · 7 months

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"things haven't been the same since you've been gone"

Based off this reblog chain and the ideas left in the tags. This is either when YN was let go/fired....or they were otherwise unable to visit anymore (cough Vanny cough)

(pst, hey @possumsarenice, I did the thing) (hope it was alright to tag you)

Bonus Funnies: