#it's giving young girl raised in an unstable family where she had to constantly look out for other people

[ianenjoyer]

obsessed with fiona's code switching </3

#she's like 5 different people depending on who's she's with #it's giving young girl raised in an unstable family where she had to constantly look out for other people #and learn to change herself based on the situation so that nobody was ever worried about her and she was reliable to others #sooo true do you wanna kiss? #ian does it too help :( #they're so similar &^%*^(&$

[mando-abs]

Dream Time with Abs

On this episode: First Dream with a young modern rebel Din Djarin

Context: I recently added the Session series by @mandocrasis on my TBR list and my brain said “Alright, bet.” and ran with the idea of it. So, I guess this dream is inspired by the series???? I don’t know. I haven’t read it yet. But, this dream was too good not to share.

Also 18+ warning - some sexual themes are mentioned in this dream but never actually put into motion.

The Story:

No idea why my dreams have been involving schools with varying age ranges lately but HERE WE GO.

It all started out with me in a gym class. I was talking to a group of chatty girls, and they started gossiping about the rebel Din Djarin. One girl, we’ll call her Stacy, mentioned how she wanted to quote “get in his pants.” I rolled my eyes at Stacy, and she got really defensive over it. To appease the Stacy, the girls decided that they would pass a note onto Din about which girl, me or Stacy, he would rather hook up with. (It’s so teenage lunchroom-esque. I love it)

I wasn’t too worried about it since I’m practically a nobody, but it still bothered me that they would send such a crude letter to him. But also, my brain really wanted to see this plot through, so I allowed it. The girls came back by the end of the day with huge grins on their faces. As it turns out, Din was more interested in me than Stacy. In fact, he had his eye set out for me anyways.

Now, I start panicking internally. Like, what? All I’ve heard are whispers about the guy and how popular he was (or unpopular, it’s never really discussed why he was the talk of the school). Why would he agree to hook up with a nerd like me? (Spoiler alert: that isn’t explained in this dream either, sorry)

Regardless, the girls were really excited for me and decided to help a girl out. They scouted the perfect classroom for me to stakeout in. It was currently being held by a class full of children (what kind of a school is this???), but, eventually, it would be empty, giving me the best opportunity to get my freak on. They even tried giving me pointers (in shushed voices of course) on how to, for lack of better terms, stick it in there in a classroom setting. Then, they just leave me there.

So there I was, sitting in this classroom full of children, waiting for Din to come do whatever with me. I was so incredibly nervous, constantly shifting in my seat. What was I even doing? But in my mind, to keep the dream going, I was like…

After waiting for a few minutes, Mr. Din Djarin finally walked into the classroom.

And when I tell you that this boy was so fine, that this boy was so scrum-dilly-icous… Let me paint you a picture of him. Din was much younger than he is typically. He was not like the man he is rn, he was a boy (still my age of course, but not aged like the fine wine he is in Mandalorian).

The best way to describe him is Pedro Pascal as he looked in Hermanas, but with a white t-shirt and leather jacket over it.

Wooooooo. Okay. Well, now I was trying to play it off cool to match his sick rebel vibes while simultaneously going into meltdown mode on the inside. He pulled up a seat next to me, placed his bag on the floor, and sat down.

“Hey,” he said all nonchalantly.

“Hey,” I said not so collected back at him.

“Looks like we’re going to be here a while.”

“Yeah… Got any homework you need to do?” 🤦🏻Nice one, nerd. God.

Din laughed, but not condescendingly so. It’s almost like he was actually relieved I was more concerned about his grades than having sex with him.

“Yeah, actually. I’ve got a quiz coming up.”

“Well, good then.”

So he got out his binder and started studying for some unknown quiz.

Now…this was the part I remembered the most because it felt so real. While we were sitting there as he was studying (and I nosily looking over his shoulder to see what he was studying), I got brave enough and held his hand. I physically felt his hand. I will not be able to forget his touch for a while. And all of you writers out there like to write Din and Pedro characters alike with large calloused hands (and respectfully so, most of his characters are hard workers). His hand was soft. It easily enveloped mine still, but they were gentle. I think he smiled out of the corner of his mouth, but I didn’t look at him as hard out of nervousness.

So we sat and sat, and sat some more with our hands locked like this. All the kids left, but the teacher still hung around. By that point, I was frustrated and really wanted the teacher to get lost. But, knowing Ms. Goody Two-Shoes me, I wouldn’t do that. I was more concerned about my parents not knowing where the hell I was.

I got to thinking. I whispered to Din. “You know, we don’t have to do this here. Maybe we can go somewhere away from here, away from student hangouts?”

“Well, I’ve got a truck. You wanna head out?” (Btw, I imagined rebel Din’s truck as Bella Swan’s old red Chevy truck…if that’s any interest to you…)

“Sure. Lemme just…” I got out my phone and texted one of my parents.

Hey! Going to get a bite with a buddy. Be home soon.

We headed out, hands still interlocked, with Din leading the way.

Now, this is the part we’re things get interesting. On our way out, I stopped dead in my tracks in front of one classroom door and made Din flip around due to the suddenness of it.

He looked confused at me. “What?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just… I heard there was a baby in art room class.”

Din raised his hands up like he was saying, “And?”

“Well, this is the art room.” I shuffled my feet. “And, I kinda want to see it.” I flashed a smile at him. But I didn’t even wait for his response, I just went in the classroom.

Din stood at the doorway confused for a moment. He straightened his jacket and acted like this was all a part of his plan. “I know my way around this place.” He didn’t.

When we both were in the room, we looked around to find the baby with a small cluster of students ogling at and playing with. And, to no surprise, it was Grogu. Grogu did not change his appearance in the dream AT ALL. We just all accepted the green skinned, bug eyed, pointy eared baby.

After Din and I spent a few moments cooing and making wiggly fingers at the baby, we went to go talk to the teacher about how cute the kid is and how proud he must be.

But the teacher was like, “Oh no. That’s not my baby. I’m just babysitting for a few days. That baby is on it’s way to back to be reunited with his cult.”

Din and I looked at the man like he was crazy. We then looked at each other a bit uneasy over it. This didn’t sit well with the two of us.

So instead of heading out to his truck, we went to go research more about this mysterious cult (I’m guessing at the library??? idk) As it turns out, this cult is notorious for stealing family’s’ babies, and adopts them into their own weird cult stuff.

Din and I looked up from the book we were reading in and stared at each other. We didn’t speak a single word to one another, but I knew we had one goal in common -

We were going to steal back a baby that night.

__________________________________________

And that’s it! That’s the dream! I hoped you enjoyed it. Uh, I wouldn’t expect an update dream as my dreams are very unpredictable and highly unstable. Hopefully I’ll get to see rebel Din again, and we go steal babies to bring back to their families. Maybe hold hands again, maybe have sex? Who knows! Cause I don’t 😀

#din djarin #the mandalorian #mandalorian #mando #mandalorian au #the mandalorian au #dream #inspired dream #pedro pascal #josé pedro balmaceda pascal #this took way too long to write but I wanted it on record #this dream was way too elaborate not to write down

[sweetcici-123]

Why Won’t You Love Us?~

Introductions

Female Twins~

Backstory~ The Akiyama twins actually have become quite popular. They didn't have a rich upbringing so that means they didn't always get the best food and sometimes they didn't eat everyday, but what they did have was talent. They were raised by a single mother who had tried her best, but in the end it wasn't enough. Their dad had a debt to some bad men, but had left the debt in his ex-wife's name, without her knowledge. So after a few years of an unpaid debt, they killed her. The twins were only 11 when she was killed. Their mom used to sing to them and they always loved it, sometimes the twins would sing to their mother if they felt like she was sad because singing always made their mom happy. Their mom used to tell them that singing was going to be their way out of their terrible lifestyle. She was right. After their mom died they lived in an alley, and barely survived for about 5 months, only singing to each other for comfort when they were over heard by a business man. (Long story short) He helped them become singers with a luxurious life now.

Yandere Tendencies/beginnings~ At the start of their rise to fame they had 1 main friend. She was always there for them and helped them get adjusted to their new life. No one knew who the twins were, well at least they didn't think so. The same people who killed their mom found out she had kids and had tracked the twins down. When they had planned to kill the twins with a sniper somehow they didn't noticed their best friend who had jumped on one of their backs and got in the way. The twins watched the second person they ever felt connected to (after their mom) die right on one of their backs. When the reality sank in, the twins stopped trying to build relationships and be happy. They're now cold, slightly unforgiving, and blunt. They put on happy personas for their audience but that's it. They have isolated themselves for the fear of letting another get close and then dying.

With all of this though, this is the reason of their obsession. When they finally bring themselves to care for another person, they'll not know how to handle these emotions. They won't even need to be strong emotions, if they feel a connection they'll automatically assume it's love for their lack of connections and love in general. Because of this, they'll want this person to stay with them, and they'll have the continuous feeling that their "loved one" needs to be protected. That will lead to this "loved one" being isolated because the twins are already isolated and they won't let their "loved one" leave them.

Lilah Older twin. The girl on the right. She's always looking down on people. She can't see herself equal to anyone except her twin. She would be overly protective of her twin to the point where no one should dare look at her wrong. She would also probably be the one who would initiate the first act of physical abuse to their "loved one" when they act up because of her protective nature.

Her audience persona on the other hand is very happy, but still very protective. She is considered the mom out of the twins and is shown to love all her fans never treating anyone badly, her favorite fans are all of the kids because they remind her so much of young LeAnn.

LeAnn Younger twin. The girl on the left. Yes she is also cold, but more on the naive side. She doesn't dislike people she just doesn't want to be around them in a personal atmosphere. Unlike her twin she does enjoy performing though, and making people smile does make her feel better but she is just as capable of being as cold as her twin. Her problem is she doesn't know her limits. If she happens to get angry and hurt her "loved one" she probably wouldn't be able to control herself. She's the twin that holds everything in, so when she lets it out, she lets out just about everything.

Her audience persona though is always cute and smiley. She's innocent and adorable, and even sometimes forgetful. She acts the part perfectly of the completely loveable younger twin.

Male Twins~

Backstory~ The Hano twins are from a very rich family. They are always able to get what they want because they're being raised by their grandparents. Their parents died in their old mansion, when the twins were only 8 but they were there. Both of the twins have burn marks in different areas. When the twins were saved it was found out that the burn marks weren't the only wounds they had. They had bruises and scars and whips on many covered parts of their body. It was found out that their parents would constantly abuse the twins. When their grandparents found out, they could tell it had done mental damage to them along with physical. Both of the twins barely spoke and always seemed to have a blank stare. Their grandparents had hoped by spoiling them, and giving them everything they could ever want/need, they would become happy. Over the years, the boys did build up emotions and they did find happiness but it was pretty obvious they weren't normal. Sadly their grandparents did get them doctors to heal their wounds, but not anyone who could help them mentally, and that was their mistake.

Yandere Tendencies/Beginnings~ When they were with their parents, they learned at a young age to only obey, don't do anything wrong or else you would be punished. Look presentable at all times and never talk back. They were never told any of this, but they learnt it. Along with learning those lessons, they watched their parents relationship. Never saying anything about it, but they always watched. There was yelling and things were thrown whenever one of their parents faces got red. Father would hurt mother, but sometime later apologize. Mother would scream at him and cry but also forgive. If father wasn't forgiven in a day, the twins would get punishment because it was their fault. Mother might do something bad and when father would find out he would cry while in return mother would scream. Someone would leave and they would completely neglect the kids. This was a never ending cycle until their grandparents took them in. Then the twins watched their relationship. The constant "I love you" with loving looks and careful movements. Always making sure the other was okay. Gentleness, with every hold. Passion and sweet kisses. It was all new to them. But the twins did know that they longed for that kind of contact.

With that longing it became a full blown desire. The only problem was their lack of social communication. They had a hard time being in contact with others but they still wanted that relationship. They didn't know any kind approaches, so ultimately their approach would come from their parents in an aggressive way and they would think it's okay, because it's what they want, and their grandparents always gave them what they want. They would automatically try to be loving but because of their "lover's" fear, it wouldn't work out, leading to the twins confusion and anger making them aggressive and doing things their parents way. When it gets results it'll make them happy and they'll constantly switch from sickly sweet to aggressive. All because they were completely unstable and didn't/don't understand love.

Lector Older twin. The boy on the left. He's more so the patient one. When things don't go his way he would be more passive-aggressive about it. He didn't completely grow out of his quiet stage after being abused, and he does still tend to give his blank stare but not all the time. He does still lose his cool sometimes but he strongly dislikes himself when he does. He tends to be more frightening than he means to be but he can't help it when he loses control.

But when he tries to be sweet it seems like he's being cold but it's just his inability to completely show his feelings. When he's happy, he might have the smallest smile, but it truly means a lot to him. He would be more gentle and his voice would never be loud, but calming yet quiet.

Lincoln Younger twin. The boy on the right. He, unlike his twin, grew out of his quiet and blank stage. He grew accustomed to being spoiled and that's all he is. Despite his age he often acts like a bratty child. When things don't go his way he immediately flips out and gets angry. He doesn't have a way to control his anger, so much like a child, he might break things or hurt others, like he saw from his parents.

Whenever he's trying to be nice he is also like a child. He plays games and offers things if he feels like he is sorry. Often worried after his tantrums that his "lover" hates him. He would be more innocent and would share things, probably in attempts to make his "lover" more comfortable with whatever they have to do/wherever they have to be.

#twins #yandere girls #yandere boys #straight #yandere #yandere twins #love #crazy #kidnapping #force #manipulation #xreader #twinsxreader #yandere twins x reader #gxg #lesbian #female twins #twin girls #yuri

[holdvns]

hi friends ! i’m farah nd im coming at u live frm the pst timezone to bring u a new muse of mine. so excuse me as i ramble abt holden under the cut. like this post and i will come bother u for plots?? that or u can im me on here or on my discord (farah#1263), whatever works rlly! anyways, super stoked to be here and to get to write with u all!!!!

(TOBY WALLACE, CIS MALE) - Have you seen HOLDEN DONAHUE? HOLDEN is in HIS JUNIOR year. The PHILOSOPHY MAJOR is 21 years old & is a TAURUS. People say HE is QUICK-WITTED, DARING, IRREVERENT and DETACHED. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY SOCIETY. I heard from the gossip blog that HIS FATHER PAID OFF THE SCHOOL TO CHANGE HIS GRADES AFTER HE FAILED FOUR CLASSES LAST SEMESTER FROM NEVER SHOWING UP.  (FARAH. 22. PST. SHE/HER.)

pinterest board / tag

holden grew up between upstate new york and manhattan in an extremely wealthy family. from the outside, his family had the appearance of perfection, but underneath that facade lay years of shocking and hidden family secrets that one way or another got out into society, even if his family tried to put them down as merely rumors.

his father is a highly respected but also deeply feared business man/media magnate known for his cutthroat attitude in his business dealings and personal relationships. he had an extremely difficult childhood, having been orphaned at a young age and passed from relative to relative around europe, many of whom were not very kind to him. still, he was incredibly intelligent and wanted to make something of himself, having this belief in the american dream and wanting to move there if he ever got the chance. after attending college on a scholarship, he was able to use his connections and move to new york, where he founded his own start-up that eventually led to him building his own personal fortune.

his mother was very much a hustler. she grew up poor in new york and at an early age, learned how to use her good looks to manipulate men for the finer things in life. she had a short stint as a model before she met holden’s father, charming him enough to call it quits with his first wife. underneath her obvious beauty, however, was a fiery temper and substance abuse problem. the thing about her was that she really wasn’t made to be a wife and mother. holden’s father thought he could turn her into this perfect socialite/housewife (marrying her and then proceeding to have his older brother, cal, and holden in a very short span of time), but the task proved impossible. she was always only looking out for herself and didn’t enjoy being tied down, certainly not with kids to take care of despite the nannies his father provided. they fought constantly, and their home life was extremely unstable. it was a normal occurrence for holden to see his mother being dragged off to an institution by his father’s security guards or for his mother to use him and his brother as bait to get his father to give her money for drugs, to leave him, or sometimes just to try and get back with him.

eventually, she finally did leave, having told holden and his brother the three of them were moving to los angeles, but leaving without them and dying of a drug overdose shortly after. holden was about six at the time and thinks he has successfully hidden this entire episode from his memory, but it’s definitely something that affects him whether he likes it or not.

although his family claims this was merely just a rumor, it was often said that there was some foul play behind her death and that his father had some involvement, not wanting her to ever leave him and move on with her life. while holden deep down may admit that this could be the case, it’s never something he would really say.

at this point, his father rarely talks about his mother and when he has, he has poisoned her memory so much, holden feels like he never really had one. when he was younger, he’d often make up stories about her in his head, which were far different than who she actually was. it helped at the time, but after a while it was easier to just forget her altogether.

while his father cares deeply for his children and has provided them a life of ease and luxury, he’s certainly not innocent in all of this mess. he’s extremely manipulative and often psychologically traumatizing to them as well. he often finds his children to be lazy and ungrateful and resents the way they’ve been raised (even though it was his own doing), while he suffered from poverty and abuse in his own childhood. he often pits the two of them against each other, always trying to see who’s the stronger, smartest, who will do whatever it takes to be the best, especially because there’s always talk about who’s going to be the one to be the one who’s going to take over when he retires. it is usually said to be his older brother, because it’s no secret that he’s his father’s favorite.

because of this, holden and his brother never really got along. or so it seems. they did when they were younger, but their hatred runs so deep that the even thought of that feels like a distant reality. they’re only two years apart, but they couldn’t be more different. while his brother is a complete perfectionist and will do just about anything to please his father, holden gave up on that idea along time ago. it didn’t matter what he did, he never seemed to be able to measure up against his brother. maybe it was because he was younger, maybe it was because he was more sensitive and seemed to feel things at a deeper level, maybe it was because he wasn’t as competitive, or maybe there was no explanation why his father simply liked cal better. holden’s never seemed to figure out. he’s always felt like the screwup of the family, so eventually that’s what he became.

he started drinking and using drugs at an early age, basically trying anything to mask his pain and trauma. while his brother excelled academically and in sports in high school, holden never applied himself. he fell in with the wrong crowd and gave up his spot on the football team to run around the streets of new york and engage in all kinds of debauchery. it was common for him to disappear for days on end, spending his father’s money and racking up drug and gambling debts. obviously his father wasn’t happy about this and would constantly remind him of that, but he didn’t exactly do anything to stop him either. if this was a cry for help or attention, it didn’t exactly have the desired effect and only left holden feeling empty. 

he started dating this older hippie girl who was in college while he was a senior in high school who influenced him to want to detach from his family and money and the crowd he was running in. he kind of... took it to the extreme and started talking like timothee chalamet in lady bird lmao, even though he reeked of privilege. honestly, it was just another way to annoy his father and brother, which was always his goal at the time. they ended up breaking up because he cheated on her, but he kept some of her ideas and mindset afterwards.

after high school, he wasn’t really sure what he wanted to do. so he ran off to europe for a year and didn’t talk to anyone from home. just traveled around by himself with little money and getting into all kinds of trouble. he probably would’ve stayed longer, but one morning he came across an american newspaper while he was in greece reporting on how his father had suffered a heart attack. he rushed back to the states and luckily his father has survived, but in that moment of weakness he manipulated him into attending college. his father pulled some strings and got him into yates, and while it isn’t exactly his idea of fun, he’s taking it day by day and looking it as another way to push back actually having to enter the real world.

~ personality wise ~

acts like he hates his family, new york, and everything that comes attached with money and privilege, but completely reaps the benefits of all these things when he can. claims everything having to do with high society is vapid and that he wants more out of life.

a bit of a compulsive liar. will make up fake identities and pretend to be other people or tell people he doesn’t know some sob story about growing up poor. rlly just gets off on stuff like that and doesn’t tell the truth. like ever.

doesn’t always like people knowing how rich he is or who his father is. for those that do know, he doesn’t like to talk much about his family. probably won’t ever say a word about his mother.

has no real ambitions in life or any sort-of life plan. has switched his major at least 10 times and never goes to his classes.

very much a hedonist. likes to party and hates being alone. hooks up with too many people and finds it very difficult to be in any sort of real relationship. he’s just not reliable or faithful enough.

also goes through phases where feels like he doesn’t connect with people? or that he hates everyone?

always attracts chaos of some kind. black eyes from a fight over kissing someone’s girlfriend or owing his drug dealer money.

lives life day by day. doesn’t plan for the future. usually always drunk or high.

kind of... morally ambiguous. with the way he was raised, he doesn’t see life as black or white. it’s sort of grey. usually doesn’t do the right thing, usually doesn’t feel bad about it... but there is a heart there somewhere. he just doesn’t usually care enough to use it.

rlly tries to avoid feelings as much as possible. he’s actually quite a sensitive person, but after being constantly told that makes him weak by his father and having a robot of a brother he’s always felt ashamed by that. so he uses his vices to try and not feel things.

wanted plots

hook ups, fwbs, exes, someone he cheated on, friends, enemies, someone he owes money to, someone who knew him grew up and knows his family, someone he actually rlly cares about (romantic or platonic)...i’ll add more to this when i think of more things!

#yatesintro #death tw #addiction tw #drugs tw

[augustjcrdan]

{ kj apa ♔ 24 ♔ he/him } well, well, well if it isn’t [august ‘aj’ jordan ] running around peach hollow. legend has it, they come from [olive avenue] and have lived here for [all their life]. if you’re wondering what they’ve been up to, i hear they’re an [NFL player] for a living. they have been known to be [naive] yet [CHARMING]. a word of advice to them, always look over your shoulder. you never know who is watching. { adri ♔ 26 ♔ est ♔ she/her }

basic information ↴

full name : August Michael Jordan nickname(s) : AJ preferred name(s) : AJ birth date : November 3rd age : Twenty Four zodiac : Scorpio gender : Male pronouns : He/Him romantic orientation : Straight sexual orientation : Heterosexual nationality : American ethnicity : Samoan, Scottish current location : Peach Hallow, Atlanta living conditions : Bought his own home recently in the same town he grew up in. Had it designed & built from scratch

background ↴

birth place : Atlanta, Georgia hometown : Peach Hollows, Georgia social class : Upper-Class education level : Went to college for 4 years before entering the NFL draft, but didn’t graduate. Was one semester short of getting his teaching degree parents: Divorced�� father : Mike (girlfriend Gwen) mother : Christina (married to Jake) sibling(s) : 6 biological, 4 step siblings previous relationships : Angel - high school sweetheart

occupation  ↴

nfl tight end for the atlanta falcons.  wears number 83 does endorsement deals helps promote giving back to the city helps out a lot with children events at hospitals has appeared on lot of social media campaigns, has his own workout plan to purchase

physical appearance  ↴

face claim : KJ Apa eye color : Honey Comb hair color : Red with darker roots sometimes hair type/style : slicked back with some gel or just free flowing dominant hand : Right height : 6′1weight : 200lb build : super lean, abs for days tattoos : 8 but wants more piercings : both of his ears marks/scars : one in the middle of his eyebrows

BIOGRAPHY  ↴

When August’s parents were in college, both out of state and newbies to Atlanta, they found themselves with an unplanned pregnancy and a decision to make.

Mike and Christina decided to keep their son when they were 20 and 21, raise him in an off campus apartment while they finished up their degrees and figure out things along side their friends and extended family. 

They moved to Peach Hollow when Christina finished college. August has lived in quite a few places throughout the town as he grew up and loved it.

His dad, a Chicago native was a huge basketball fan. Being named Michael Jordan growing up, he thought he was the man and wanted more than anything for his kid to love basketball. When August came out with firey red hair, Mike thought that was the sign and called him basketball head for most of his life. But little did he know, AJ had a completely different plan.

His mom, a soccer player in college, was never going to push sports or anything onto her baby. Her parents were super hard on her and disappointed that she would never make the USA team after having a baby in college, so she wanted to raise August to pick whatever he wanted in his life to do.

Christina was more laid back in the parenting department and Mike was more demanding and short tempered. This caused for a lot of fights and a lot of blow outs that AJ witnessed at a young age. One of those fights resulted in his scar that he got in between his brows that he tells everyone was a slam dunk gone wrong.

Once Christina got the balls to leave Mike after a failed marriage, she found herself starting a lifestyle magazine in Atlanta along with a boutique. It wasn’t long after that she met her now husband, Jake, who already had a son and the two went on to have 2 more kids. Giving them the picture perfect, 4 kids, white picked fence life. Jake was in business and Christina’s life really took off.

Mike on the other hand wasn’t stable at all. He worked all different kinds of dead end jobs and bounced from one girl to the next, having 3 with 3 different women thinking that was his ticket to getting them to stay. The unstableness was uneasy for Christina to deal with having in August’s life and she had to often keep her son from seeing his dad for long stretches of time. 

Mike was quick to turn to alcohol and get drunk to deal and cope with how he failed as a father in many ways. And there were many drunk phone calls made to their home, restraining orders, the whole nines. It wasn’t something he really told many people about.

Jake was a great step dad, and his brother was cool, but at the young age of 7 - August really wanted to play football and have an escape from his life. He wanted to play the game he loved to watch on tv. Whether it was the Falcons, Bears or the Eagles (Since his mom is originally from Pennsylvania) he was mesmerized by the plays, the positions and the entire game.

Once he played in his first game, AJ was in love. He was tall for his age so jumping others and ‘mossing’ other children, August fell in love with being a tight end. There was no other position that he loved more. He got to be physical, block, protect the qb but also score touchdowns and create them all at the same time.

His workouts and daily routines became intense. He was talented and wanted to ride out his dream, he promised his mom if she let him go through with this, he was going to give it is all and he always has.

Having abs at 14 was something that was nice to impress girls his age with, but never did he think that older women would be hitting on him? Sure, cheek pinches and all of that were nice but when his mom took too much interest in him, he really didn’t know what to do.

She was someone his family trusted, someone they used to help further AJ’s career in high school and beyond and behind everyones back, she was taking advantage of him and sleeping with him. Her name is Macy and she still haunts his thoughts today.

Throughout high school, she took photos when he was asleep, would use them against him for blackmail to get time with him. She caused him so much pain, anxiety and depression that he couldn’t tell anyone about. Regardless of knowing he could take her down, she had some mental hold over him and he hated it. Plus, most people don’t think guys/men can get abused/raped and when AJ tried to tell his dad once, he said an older woman is every high school kids dream. She’s not. It’s not. It’s a nightmare.

Once he was able to get away from Peach Hollow, he attended PSU for four years and flourished. He was able to shake away Macy and though he missed someone from his past, still loved the hell out of her and wanted to be with her, he has always told himself he was protecting and saving her from the wrath of Macy.

Atlanta wasn’t where he was expecting to get drafted. Not at all. He was actually hoping and praying it would be to any other city for another fresh new start, but they took him in the first round. As a TE, that was huge. He was their ‘hometown’ hero guy that earned the nickname red jordan or red around the league easily thanks to the hair.

Now that he’s been playing and signed a huge, multimillion dollar deal with the falcons, along with tons of endorsements, a new management and pr team, he decided to move back to Peach Hollow and build a home on the lot he always admired on his walks home from school. It was another dream he was able to make a reality. Along with taking care of his mom.

His dad is still a mess, he’s with a girlfriend now and they’re having another baby on top of the 6 combined they have together. He asks AJ for money constantly and it’s the hardest thing in the world to have to turn down supporting his father, but once you give someone an inch, they usually take a yard. That’s exactly how he would describe his alcoholic, still over the top, biological father.

random headcanons  ↴

has two dogs; max & luna. had one growing up that was his best friend named scar. loves cars. has 5 favorite drink is whiskey straight or rum and coke. will do as many shots as you tell him to and is king of keg stands. will never shy away from jumping behind the bar. had to learn how to play the guitar in high school for an extra curricular class and still from time to time picks it up and jams out. he can’t really dance, so the guitar it is. if you put bacon on anything, he will eat it. hangs out with celebrities and acts like it’s no big deal. has issues knowing how to dress for events? he likes to keep it casual and relaxed like every day looks, so needs to hire someone to dress him. is obsessed with hats to hide his red hair. hates being asked if he was born in august. his mom picked the name out of a baby book, he wishes there was a cooler story behind it. his mom has been filmed on RHOA a few times and it gets to her head if you talk to her about it. so please don’t.

wanted connections  ↴

best friends step brother possible sibling like cousins/grew up together childhood friends matched on a dating app sports world friends hookups/one night stands models/girls he’s taken out on dates college friends anything/everything. i like to build off our characters and what they want/need in their lives!

#tw: abuse #tw: alcohol #peaches:intro #intro

[spiritsdw]

{Letters} - Sent at Stroneth Port

The Right Honorable The Earl of Carneath, Clarence Temple

Dear Lord Temple, 

I have never been a man prone to drinking, but right now I think I could definitely lock my cabin door and spend the rest of the day nursing a few stiff drinks. 

We are still in Nibiru. I aim to post this before we leave tomorrow morning. 

I fear today is going to be a long one, and it is only half done. I pray to the winds to give me strength, even as I write this. I am so tired, and I wish

Did you know, every time I set sail from the Yielden Docks, I tell myself this will be the last time. Don’t laugh. It is hard to leave for so long. It is hard to leave you behind. There’s nothing for me at home -- except, perhaps, to be a glorified clerk to Illiam. Gone are the days where I could serve as Sebastian’s aide without trouble. 

Now he has court-appointed ones to do it for him. 

Each time we set sail, I wonder if I shouldn’t retire. But I am too young, and I will get too bored. Even if I find some quiet cabin where I can be alone to work on my inventions. I wouldn’t dare to ask you to cut yourself off from everyone else, just because I am stodgy like that. So the thought passes quickly from my mind, because there are too few rewards for so high a cost as to give this all up. 

But even so, I wonder each time. 

I did not write to you to complain. I am here to follow up in regards to the troubling letter I sent last. 

I tried to distract myself with the repairs to the ship instead of thinking about the drow twins, or the possibilities of what would happen to those I (unknowingly) let go with them. It only worked in as much as I did not have the energy to dwell on them. 

They have started to return -- Natalya and Ulutka have made their way back to the ship first, while they mentioned that the others were going to return a map (not the one of the fort, though at this point, I have little need for it). 

There was some half-hearted explanation, as the pair of them both seemed very distracted in their conversation with me. There were yellow flowers that had some connection to the undead, there had been some violence, and in the end, there had been no real answers. 

Natalya handed me a vial of clear yellow liquid -- bright enough to make citrine look like amber. She said it was from the woman’s desk, the color similar to the flowers that they found across the fort. “It might be worth pursuing,” she added 

Now, I will confess, the scientist part of me is fascinated by this. I have no notes at the time of writing this, but still I thought ‘What if I were to investigate this further?’ To keep a sample of it for myself to experiment with, and send the rest back to Noah and her team. What is the nature of this liquid? What could I do with it -- indeed, what would I be able to do with this woman’s notes, should I ever get them? 

It is a line of thought I am now ashamed to have considered. 

Ulutka mentioned hesitations that reflected my own when it comes to violence. I am glad to know that the crew does not question my actions -- “As representatives of this ship,” he had said, “we should know better than to leave corpses wherever we go.” 

He is a young man with a soft heart. His place aboard this ship is a strange one, but I am constantly thankful for his calm, level-headed approach to situations such as these. 

It is Natalya who worried me though. 

“I did try to diffuse the situation,” she said to me, and I knew immediately what that entailed. 

I did not know how to ask her what she meant by that -- what had she done, to whom had she made the attempt on. All I could think of was Pasha’s rage, boiling beneath a schooled expression. 

All I could think of was Tazyrr and Trielae, and what they are capable of when pushed. 

You understand now why I worry, don’t you? 

Conflict not just among outside forces -- perhaps my non-action stance has made them too passive when it comes to situations. Perhaps it is because I am trying to reconcile my memories of the war, of what it meant to serve on the front line, with what I am being asked to do now. I present them a disjointed front, telling them one thing and then asking of them another, that this conflict comes in from between their ranks.

Of course, the twins did not help the matter. They are a completely unstable element in the structure of my crew. They do not know how to handle these sorts of situations, and I thought they would do well enough together without my guidance, or that of Arculf or Grissa. 

Again, again, again -- Natalya. What must be going through her mind? What sort of process did she follow to ask this of me? 

She acknowledges that the woman they confronted had control of the undead, though I could tell from this conversation alone it was not through necromancy, but through science. Arcane magic is a thing of the past, and those who wish to follow old traditions must find new means. However Natalya asked to be involved in further research of this substance. “It seems like the sort of science that could improve the function of Albion’s military, prevent the loss of soldiers.” 

I cannot… Clarence, even now, my hand shakes with the anger and the frustration at that naive question. And I realized how foolish I was to think that I could keep a sample of this substance on my boat to investigate in my own way. I cannot tell you the anger I felt at her line of inquiry, the revulsion I felt towards myself for my own failings at keeping an eye on her. 

Why would she even suggest this? A girl so young, who lost her father to the war of politicking -- why would she even want to think of the eventuality of another war so close to the end of the first? 

I remember our fallen comrades, I remember standing there and seeing His Majesty Rupert struck down. Would I have wanted a way to save them? More than anything -- to save Sebastian the grief of trying to save his uncle, blood on his hands. More than anything -- to have them here with us again, that we could look back on this and remember those situations with a detached fondness. 

What this woman could do, I have no doubt, is not bring a person back to life. It is the science of Necromancy. It is the science of thralldom, it is nothing more than a puppet on a string and she would dare to ask if we could use it. 

That would make us no better than those who would force their subjects into service of a master who did not care for them -- of blind devotion to a higher power. 

What I do know of Nibiran culture, those who serve the sister goddesses do so willingly. They are not raised from the dead because she requires a warrior. They are a part of a ritual, and they do so because their goddess speaks to them in a way that I cannot understand. 

I retreated at that moment -- I would not say I ran from the conversation, as I had the presence of mind to dismiss them first, but it did feel a little as if I was running. I don’t know how to approach this. 

Again, she seems unconcerned with her ability to ‘diffuse’ situations (by creating new ones, it seems), and in this situation, Ulutka did not seem overly concerned about this. Indeed, his focus was on the overall tension of their group, of which there are undoubtedly many factors. 

I plan on penning a letter to Her Majesty and posting once it is safe to do so. It is not that I think those in Nibiru will read my mail, it is that I do not think they understand the haste with which this needs to be delivered. 

I have found a spare lockbox in a quick search of my cabin, and I plan on locking the vial away in it with the letter to Noah. 

For a moment, I considered pitching it overboard. Let the ocean take the damned thing. But I couldn’t risk some other hapless individual finding it once it washed up. I shall have to hide it, I think, because a part of me fears that if anyone who is interested in this knows of where I have stored it, they will come looking for it. 

I want to trust the crew, I do. I have no reason not to. But I have not survived through five years of war, despite throwing my caution to the wind and hiding from family, to simply ignore my instincts. 

Perhaps Grissa will be fit for the job. He has a favor with Ydir, and anything that has to do with undead (even in a scientific vein), I would prefer in the hands of a cleric. That he is a half-orc and larger than anyone on the crew certainly helps. I do plan on sending it as soon as we dock in Aelem. Yes, I think he will be best. 

I have yet to talk to the others. I have a long day ahead of me, I fear. 

~*~

Spirits of the air, I wish I had you here beside me. I need someone to talk some sense into me, before I start to think that something is beyond my control. I need your steady hand and your calm, level head. I do not know how I do this. It is going to be a very long rotation. 

I spoke to the twins. I passed the box to Grissa. I do not know... No, that is a lie. I know my next course of action. I must speak to Pasha. 

But first, the twins. Tazyrr and Trielae. 

They returned to the ship, practically arm in arm with Adi and Pasha. I do not know how I feel to know that these are the four that have bonded, but I know that they are both very dependent pairs of people. I suppose it is only natural for them to know how the other feels in this sort of situation. 

Surprisingly, the twins came when I told them I needed to speak to them. I showed them the letter--

Ah, shit, I never mentioned the letter, did I? 

See, this is how my train of thought has been lately. 

You remember the child I mentioned in my previous letter who was looking for her elder siblings? How Pasha, in his lingering anger, scared the child, how I found the twins on my ship clearly hiding, holding a stolen map of a fort? 

Not but three days after this (or two days ago, at the time of the writing of this letter), Arculf found some miscreant tacking a letter to the side of my ship using an ornate dagger. They were scared off, but the letter and dagger were left behind. 

In a scrawling hand, jagged letters forming a script that I can barely speak much less alone read, I could only stare at the letter which must have been a threat. I took it to the dock master, who translated it for me with something between a laugh and a prayer for my well being. 

Surprisingly enough, not a threat to myself, or to my crew. Well, not strictly speaking my crew. 

It was a request from a crew of local bandits, indicating that they were not too pleased with the actions of a pair of drow twins, who they know stole a map. It continues by demanding that I hand them over to their leader -- who graciously returned the female twin's dagger as a sign of good faith. (To me? To Trielae? I am uncertain.)  

I have no reason to decide either way, truth be told. Like I mentioned, I do not feel for them one way or another, but I did promise them that they would be a part of my crew so long as they acted in service of my request -- which, at the time of sending them to Fort Ptallo, involved ensuring none of the signed crew came to any harm. 

Now. 

I revealed the letter and the dagger to them, asked for a good reason why I should not hand them over, and Tazyrr had the gall to say that I would be acting predictably as 'the right hand man of the empire'. Perhaps he grossly overestimates my role in all of this. Perhaps he thinks I have Sebastian in my pocket, as opposed to my posting aboard the Titan being a favor repaid from Sebastian. Who knows. 

I also do not think I presented myself in the best possible light at that moment. I did not have the energy to get truly angry, because I knew the task that lay ahead of me. I confessed that I was surprised they even returned to the ship at all, and that I valued the fact that my crew was able to return on their own two feet (well, Pasha relied heavily on the support of Trielae's shoulder, but I suspect that was because he was drunk, not injured). 

So I tried again: "What happened in Agartha, and tell me why I should let you remain on my ship knowing your history?" 

My words sound vicious in retrospect, a tired man who desperately wants a reason to be rid of a potential liability. In truth, I wanted a valid reason to know that I could trust them. I have history with them, I know better than to give them free run of the ship, of my crew. 

But I wanted to put that behind us. I so desperately want to put the war behind me, but it seems at every turn I am reminded of my actions during that time -- of the consequences of those actions. 

The twins dance around the subject like professionals in a theater. It is tiring talking to them, without feeling like you are talking yourself in circles. And they desire the upper hand in every situation, knowing exactly how to game it so they know (or at least they think) they are getting the better end of the conversation -- that they are the smartest ones in the room. 

I asked again why they were on my ship, now that they knew I remembered who they were -- now that I knew they remembered who I was. Out of any ship, why mine? (The irony is that they truly picked mine at random.) 

Tazyrr says words that I feared: Asks if the type of people the empire hires now are those who would negotiate with people who treat other people like forms of currency. If he would not obey my command (as Captain? As the 'right hand of the empire'?) would I have that, and I quote "high-society girl force us near helplessly into submission again?" 

Again. 

Again.

"I tried to diffuse the situation," she had said, and I had reason to fear. 

"Would you have that girl force us into submission again?" he said, and I knew my fears were valid. 

It was a tremendous effort to keep my expression under control (and honestly, I do not think I did a very good job), but I could not hide the exhaustion. 

"If you decide to throw us to the wolves, will she eviscerate our autonomy and leave us like raw meat to hungry mouths a second time?" 

The twins made themselves clear on what would happen should it happen again -- I know the voracity of their threats holds real and dangerous weight. They would not hesitate. And, as Tazyrr put it, they would act with finality. 

So no, Trielae, this is not something I allow among my crew. The fact that it has happened three times, twice on allies, is unforgivable. I would have let it slide if it was merely towards the gnome pirate captain, or towards this woman they are calling a necromancer (she is a scientist first, I’m sure, and a magician second, if at all). I might have shown leniency if she showed remorse. 

But she has not, and so I cannot. 

I will arrange to speak to her. Possibly once we reach Aelem, so that I can ensure the others are off the ship. I do not wish to have to take drastic measures, but… 

She has deliberately placed charms and manipulations upon my crew, and by extent, the citizens of Albion and Antilla. I will give her a warning, as a sign of respect to her late father. But I do not want to have to have my worries compounded -- the mental and physical safety of my crew, both at Natalya’s whims and those of the twins, hinges on her ceasing this behavior. 

I have offered the twins a place on the ship, their payment to Aelem being their recounting of what happened the last five days. I might regret this -- no, I am certain I do regret this. They wanted to be dead. They will not be able to hide while on the Titan, so I am surprised that they remain on board. 

Tazyrr attempted to taunt me several times, but I have seen the way that a frightened hunter approaches those he thinks of as prey. “They’ve seen enough imperialism and don’t wish you well,” he said about my presence here in Nibiru, as if I have not made this rotation for nearly ten years. As if I do not know the history of Nibiru, or the weight that our flag carries. 

They have a limit to their patience, yes, and I know the extent of it. Soon, even the kingdom’s gold will lose its worth in their minds if I continue to berth here much longer, but again, I plan on being off in the morning. Do not take me for a fool, Tazyrr. I have seen much -- not nearly as much as you, I am sure, not nearly as much. But I have learned. And I understand. 

The twins did not seem to hear my words when I offered them an ultimatum, stay and work for me, or get off here or in Aelem. They went on with an explanation in that confounding, rapid way of theirs. Confirmed what I had suspected. They at least seem fond of Pasha, and for that I am glad. Well, only of the fact that Pasha can open up to more people, though I regret that it would have to be either of them. Of those he has been consorting with, however, the choice is the twins (who do not hide how they feel about you) or Natalya (who has now manipulated him, or attempted so, twice). 

They have made their dislike and distrust of both Natalya and, surprisingly, Ulutka quite clear. They did not like the way Ulutka tried to reason with the group of bandits -- though I suppose if they had just let him do as was his wont, I would not have found a dagger pinning a threat to my ship. 

I cannot cave to them, and let them do as they are wont to do, because that often entails violence for the sake of it being the quickest route to an answer. 

When finally they finished their explanation (the important facts about the woman at the fort and the flowers lining up with what Natalya and Ulutka told me), I asked if they found what they wanted to look for. 

In answer, Tazyrr handed me a worn leather journal. “Not really. It’s all nonsensical to me, a lot of big words. We don’t want it.” 

Now, admittedly, it has been over twenty years since we first met these two. And I have not interacted with them much since they found their way onto my ship. But I do not see him as the type to grab something that does not seem interesting to him, and make the effort of carrying it back. 

He would have left it for one of the others to grab if they thought that I needed it. 

I have not spent much time reading the journal -- just glancing through it before setting it aside. I will be revising my letter to Noah shortly, probably before I go to talk to Pasha and Adi. 

I do not trust his disinterest in the item. 

What’s more, he… 

Well, I have nothing to prove it. But I have been working on that alarm enchantment. I thought, perhaps, I could modify the alarm. A change in my surroundings that I do not authorize, as opposed to an interloper I do not permit. 

It went off as they were leaving. A small jolt in my mind. 

I have locked the door after them, and scoured for what might have changed in my glyph. I had thought to use it originally to warn me if anyone was coming while I worked (it would have been fairly handy in Agartha, before I joined Sebastian -- would have saved me many close calls). 

I do not know what it is, but it is the size of a small pearl. It is enchanted. How, I do not know. It is not the same sort of energies that I use, so it will take me awhile to undo this. 

He takes me for a fool. 

So I shall continue to play one, until I know what exactly he is up to. 

It is a dangerous game that I will be forced to play, and the board is my ship, and the other pieces are my crew. 

What am I doing, Clarence? Is it the right thing? 

I wonder. 

And I doubt. 

And I worry. 

~*~

I have spoken to Pasha and Adi and… it is mostly as I feared. I tried to apologize on behalf of Natalya, but I’m afraid it felt too shallow for the truth of the matter. 

Even though Pasha is aware, to an extent, of what I am able to do, Adi does not. And Pasha would not completely understand where my concerns and confusion come from, because Buyan is a place of technology. It always has been, and it was never steeped in arcane tradition the way other places have been. 

Where other continents have recovered and managed this past century, Buyan has thrived for it. 

Adi said that the twins showed more loyalty and concern for the crew than their own mechanic, but she doesn’t know. How fleeting that loyalty is, and how it only runs deep for each other. These are things I cannot say. 

I don’t wish to color their opinion, not so soon after Adi and Pasha have found solace. Perhaps, spirits willing, they will be a good influence on the twins in some way. 

But I apologized, for what it was worth, because I knew I had to. I knew I took a responsibility for her actions both as her guardian (of a sorts) and as her captain. It did, at least, mollify Pasha. 

To the point where he presented to me a gem, wrapped in cloth. 

At first, I did not know why he was handing this to me. Except for when he unwrapped it, holding it in the palm of his hand, I could recognize it instantly. That yellow -- it was unmistakably the source of the liquid in the vial that Grissa now keeps. 

I had not thought… That someone would bring the actual catalyst back with them. Were there others? Did, perhaps, the twins get their hands on one of their own, and should I continue to fear? They have no reason to trust me, nor to pass over their finds, as I did not ask them when I let them go (not that I think they would have obeyed that request anyway). This is also why I am hesitant to accept the gift of the doctor’s notes without questioning them. 

Pasha does not know about the notebook that Tazyrr passed off to me. But again I was asked if someone on my crew could use this to reverse engineer its effects. His request, while of a different bend than Natalya’s, still reeked of the same fear. His is a request born out of vengeance, I am certain, and that is just as dangerous. More, perhaps. 

I cannot deny that investigating the liquid or the crystal further was a line of inquiry I wish I could indulge. I myself had the same thought without even knowing what it could truly do, and now that I know… 

There would be no way to test it safely, not without asking someone to be a test subject. That is not something I can allow in such a setting.

How I wanted to take that stone and destroy it in that moment. 

Science be damned, I thought. I would not allow this to exist, had I an iron fist that would resolve to do so. But I am lenient when it comes to Pasha, because I see a bit of myself in him -- that brilliant spark, the knowledge that he could be something great if only given the proper chance. 

I left the crystal on his desk. I told him no. I think, perhaps, both Pasha and Adi are dissatisfied with my answer, but I cannot figure out why. 

That I denied them? Or that I would not allow this pursuit of vengeance? 

Clarence, did I do the right thing? 

What’s more, Adi seemed convinced that the group of bandits who had the map stolen from them, and knifed an ultimatum to the side of my ship, would pursue us if we left. I did not know how to console her beyond stating the obvious: They would not follow us. 

This seemed to annoy her as well, I think. Again, perhaps because I gave a firm ‘no’ when it came to an unasked question of how to finish what they had apparently started. 

Pasha had to kill one of their number, and I regret that he had to have been put in that position. Adi insisted that we would “pay the price sooner rather than later.'' 

That we would create “an unnecessary enemy”.

I think these bandits thought they could scare a small number of my crew into handing over what they wanted. I think the threat they delivered was empty once they saw the flag we flew, but had to follow through for show. 

I have been through these waters many times. I have begun to understand the way of port-side bandits and small-time criminals. We will not be followed. It is something, perhaps, she will learn through experience. 

What I would give, though, to keep them from having to learn such truths. 

What I would give to keep them safe. 

All my love,  Ean

~*~

May it please Your Majesty, 

I am writing of an occurrence that I believe deserves the attention of Your Majesty. 

I have recently come into possession of some disturbing information, and I will do my best to convey it to His and Her Majesty as truthfully as possible. 

As part of The Arcadian Titan’s quest across Assalia, we had reason to make berth in Stroneth Port in Nibiru. Please refer to the letter sent earlier for the details on how this came to be. 

One of the situations that has arisen, as I mentioned previously, is the return of the drow twins Tazyrr and Trielae, whom we have made a brief and tumultuous acquaintance with some twenty-odd years ago in Agartha when they made an attempt on His Majesty’s life. I did not think they recognized me at the time, and they have since claimed ignorance of the banner that the Titan flies, so please take that information with a grain of salt. 

They left with members of my crew to investigate rumours of undead at the abandoned Fort Ptallo, two or so day’s journey to the west. All six have recently returned, and they have brought with them troubling news. 

In the box that this letter was sent in there is a vial of bright yellow liquid, which I have come to learn is distilled from a yellow musk flower. It is not common here in Nibiru, but it seems to have flourished in Fort Ptallo. 

Also included is a journal belonging to the late Myrranda Segus, a scientist investigating the properties of the yellow musk flower and its mind control abilities. 

I have learned all of this second-hand, but I trust those who conveyed the information to me. I thought it best to send both vial and journal to Your Majesty with all due haste, so that you may investigate it with those far more qualified than I, and with far better resources than what I have aboard the Titan. 

Take heed, however: I was given the journal by Tazyrr. He passed it over with an air of indifference, but I think, perhaps, there is something untoward about the journal. I have reason to believe that he would not willingly carry something that he thought useless all the way back to hand to me, when he has vocally admitted to his distrust of both crown and general authority. 

I could not see immediately what was off with the journal, more than what I feel on instinct and my own knowledge of scientific and alchemical formulae. Please, when investigating the contents of the vial and journal, take heed. I would not normally ask this of you, but I do not know who else is more qualified than you and your team. 

With luck (and Ydir’s blessing, courtesy of Grissa), we will reach Carneath on schedule, and any updates may be posted there as planned. I will write immediately to inform the court should anything change. 

I have the honour to remain, Madam, Your Majesty's most humble and obedient servant.

Yours in Service, ever and always,  Lord Ean de Gillis Captain of The Arcadian Titan

#logs & letters #mutiny confirmed #ch: ean de gillis

[lakeham]

EVELYN HAWTHORNE is 35 YEARS OLD, resides in HARTLINGTON and has lived in Lakeham for 2 MONTHS. She is FEMALE and works as a PRIVATE SECRETARY. She is portrayed by ANTONIA THOMAS  and is played by DOVE.

Trigger Warnings: Death, verbal abuse, pregnancy, sex work.

Evelyn was born the fourth sibling of seven in a family who gradually loved their children less as they were born. With one older brother and two older sisters, she was raised more by them than her own parents. There were too many mouths to feed, lack of consistency with birth control, and ultimately an incredibly unhealthy situation for children to be raised in.

Her three younger sisters were born in quick succession, and while her older sisters acted more as moms than anything else to them, Evelyn was too young to be of much help. They huddled together for safety - while their parents never hit them, verbal abuse was in frequent succession, and Evelyn quickly learned that if she was spunky and sharp with them, she’d take the pain of their words and her siblings wouldn’t have to.

There was nothing glamorous about that life. Her eldest sister dropped out of high school just to work and support them to the best of her ability. The youngest children were often sloughed off on Evelyn, who had a very small amount of patience in dealing with them. But they managed to survive, each finding little dreams to cling to.

Evelyn’s dream came unexpectedly in high school in the form of a wealthy boy named Edward. He’d only just transferred into their school at the age of sixteen. His time there was to be short - the local private school that his family had more than enough money to pay for had no space for admission at that point, but he was guaranteed an opening the following year. Inexplicably he took to Evelyn, and she to him - and if he was the reason she forced herself to get out of bed after staying up all night listening to her parents fighting, then who was she to be judged for that?

Inevitably the shoe dropped. Evelyn was not suitable as a lover, even as a teenaged girlfriend, and Evelyn’s parents rejected the idea of her acting as if she deserved better than they did. The two were forcibly separated. It didn’t matter. Edward had a car of his own - within days, they were sneaking out together, buying time for a full year even after his transfer.

Evelyn’s pregnancy wasn’t anticipated. She was seventeen with no familial support, and Edward had no one to lean on either. Foolish as it was, their only option was to take what unspent cash Edward had been hoarding over the past year and get out of town. They fled to New York City, where they spent time among a number of questionable communities and homelessness until at the age of 18 they were able to marry. Wasn’t easy, dodging police, avoiding inquests that could only be sent by Edward’s family - but by the time they were of age, it didn’t matter. They had their whole lives ahead of them.

And then the accident came. She has yet to speak of it - barely thinks of it. Only lets it exist briefly in her mind before she moves forward.

The birth of her daughter, Cora, was only barely celebrated by a teenaged girl alone, with no one to support her, no way to even pay the bills for the hospital. The first few years were a struggle of working overtime in restaurant gigs just to avoid a studio apartment and daycare for Cora. In the end, something had to change, and Evelyn made a bold move: she entered the realm of sex work.

As a professional Domme, Evelyn managed to make appropriate connections that let her bring in enough money to provide for her little family in addition to getting her GED. College wasn’t in the cards: she put aside money for eventual college for Cora, determined to give her a far better job. But her career of choice was unstable, unregulated, and rumors were bound to spread. Cora grew fast, constantly being taunted by the other children about her mom - parents even threatened to remove her from her mother’s care.

The seeds of discord were sewn between Evelyn and Cora before either had a strong chance to bond. Only two years before, Evelyn finally had enough money set aside, after pinching pennies their whole life, to guarantee she could pay for Cora’s college with no struggle, and she left the business, turning instead to secretarial work at a nearby real estate office. But there wasn’t enough time to heal their rift. One day, a week before turning 18, Cora left the apartment with a simple note that she was leaving town with her friends and not to look for her.

Evelyn waited. She waited for months. And then she left - and came to Lakeham.

❝ ONLY IN THE SHATTERING CAN THE REBUILDING OCCUR.❞

Two months ago, Evelyn used the money that had been sitting and waiting for Cora’s college education to purchase a fixer upper home. Foolish? Yes, especially when she had no other source of income. A miracle came in the form of a job for an overworked owner of a hotel, harried and looking for someone to help keep him on task. Now, at least she’s well paid and constantly too busy to think.

It’s a process. She’s running from her shadows as fast as she can, only occasionally finding Cora where she can on social media to make sure that she’s happy and well and living her life. Eventually it all has to come crashing down - it’s a matter of when, not if.

Thanks to sinking so much money into her crappy house, Evelyn actually has very little money available to her. She lives leanly like she did as a teenager, directing most funds toward making sure her house isn’t going to fall apart during the next strong thunderstorm.

One of Evelyn’s favorite hobbies is pottery, and every dish in her home is one that she made herself. She has regrettably less time to pursue it now that she’s working for Mr. Smith.

Evelyn in the past worked with a number of politicians, celebrities, and other wealthy people under the table - she knows more gossip and has more blackmail on her former clients to live on for the rest of her life, but refuses to cash any of those secrets in until she’s at her lowest.

(+) Patient, protective, logical. (-) Controlling, assumptive, guarded.

#evelyn hawthorne #antonia thomas #all #female #hartlington #tw death #tw verbal abuse #tw pregnancy #tw sex work #tw prostitution

[brittneymayfield]

Ridding Anxiety

I have terrible anxiety; i’ve had it all my life, as far as I can remember. I remember being in my doctor’s office, and them suggesting anxiety medications and me thinking, “I’m 13, I don’t need anxiety medications. They’re telling me I’m stressed, what is the big deal? What do I have to be stressed about? That’s life. Leave me alone. I’m sure everyone deals with this feeling.” And so here I am, at 27 years old, wishing i had listened and dealt with it then.

I have had many failed relationships. I had one particular relationship that was serious, and we dated for 3 years. I had a step daughter, and I swore this was what i was supposed to do and where I was supposed to be. But we had a lot of issues. Issues that he has, and should rightfully so, own up to as a culprit for our separation, but issues that shouldn’t have affected us as much as they did. I believe that had I been in the right emotional mindset, from being raised normally, I’d have dealt with. I used his alcohol addiction as a scapegoat to feel the way I did. A scapegoat to justify my unbalanced and insecure judgements/reactions. I thought every reaction I had was justified based on his alcoholism. But looking back now, now that i am more self-aware and accepting, I think that i didn’t feel normal unless I felt the chaos and rushes of stress/adrenaline. I thrived on it and I felt like I always needed something to “FIX” or needed something to make me feel like I needed to run away or “deserve better”. Maybe I’m always feeling like I should need “better” than I’m given at a moment in time.

I started doing counseling and research on what I was raised in. I started recognizing that i was an “Adult Child Of Alcoholic”. My mother was an alcoholic ever since I can remember. Added to that, she was a Chrystal Meth addict as well. There weren’t men in and out of my life. But there was one man that she, still to this day, is with. As you can assume, this meant i had a very unhealthy and very unstable home life. They were constantly fighting. I can recall many occasions of him being locked up from domestic abuse, and I can still visualize him stumbling down the hallway from my mother kicking him in his balls after him abusing her. Which also lead to him being locked up, in turn her explaining why I heard her on the phone with him, in lock up, of him coming home in 2 weeks.

I’ve tried therapy. I’ve tried getting to the root of my issues. I have had issues admitting that there are things in my life that have resulted in me being the way I am, or reacting to emotional things the way I do. These issues are because they are generally used against me at a later date. When things aren’t going well in my relationship, they are brought up and used against me as to “why” they are in the right. It is used to their advantage because they aren’t in the wrong, because I am assuming they are this person, or that i don’t know how to react or respond because of what has happened to me.

That is NOT the case.

I have had many things happen in my young life, as well as my adult life. Things that happened to me when I was young, I have opened up to very few people. And each person, has used that against me to justify their behavior, how it wasn’t their actions, rather, it was because I needed to deal with what happened to me.

I think all relationships I have ever had, have been affected. And it isn’t because I am holding on to anything. However, I am the kind of person that needs reassurance. I need admiration. I need to know that my feelings matter, that ***I*** matter. And I’ve read, that maybe that’s because I always felt my mother’s addiction came before my own growing up. I’m not sure. I can’t say, because I know that my mother has always loved me, and has always looked out for my best interest; even if a lot of the times I felt shoved to my room for her “friends” or to stay up late and i coulnd’t see what she was doing.

I know my expectations in a relationship (whether that be intimate or friendly) are too high. I have always aimed to give what i expect in return. I have always striven to be the friend who goes out of their way, and goes broke, to be that person for someone. I am admitting, that I expect too much. I expect my partner to make me feel like they can’t live without me. I expect to feel like I am their prized possession. Because I give so much and go out of my way, I EXPECT to be shown admiration that reflects they see and appreciate all I do for them. When I don’t receive that, or even receive affection or feeling like they do the same for me, I get offended. This is where it gets interesting. This is where I feel my over excitement and over adrenaline comes in.

I suffer from TERRIBLE anxiety, or what my doctor has considered now to be a Panic Disorder. Which also turns into depression. Because when you’re up so high for so long, you hit a low from your body recovering, that it feels like a deep depression. I can be driving, or just cleaning the house, and every so many minutes, I get what I can describe as an “adrenaline rush”. I hear one lyric I relate to, or I recognize me doing something that is good, and an “excitement” feeling comes over me. Recently, this happens multiple times within an hour. And it turns in to anxiety/panic/chest pains. I’m scared I’m affecting my heart. I know I’m affecting my nervous system. I have pain, I have been told i have Fibromyalgia, I’ve been admitted to the hospital due to feeling like I am having a heartattack or stroke. My body has suffered.

I wonder if it comes from self-gratification. Needing to know that i am good enough, I’m a catch, i have qualities, I am a good mother, I am affectionate, I am thoughtful, I am caring and I am smart. I haven’t had that reassurance much, especially in my last relationship. That is where I get so... confused and upset. *aka que the adrenaline* The FATHER of my CHILD should make me feel all those things.. I mean, after all, I gave him a SON. That’s where I get messed up. That’s where I expected to feel the most admiration and appreciation. I worked my ass off, big, uncomfortable pregnant, so support us while he chased his dream. While he was out of work, while he was enjoying his friends, his gaming and his alone time. I still feel like I did all that, and it still goes unnoticed or appreciated.

I bought a house. All the bills were in my name. I built our nursery, home, and Christmases on a credit card in my name. I would stress on bills not being met, and medical bills piling up on top of that, and still needing to purchase diapers, wipes, formula, clothes, our own needs, on my income. And instead of getting the heart felt, “I’m sorry honey, it will get better. I am working towards a better job”, I got the “I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO BUY THIS HOUSE; Why should I stress just because you are? What do you expect me to do?” That’s where my expectations were too high. I expected a family partnership and reassurance.

I am still so angry. I am also regretful, and I hate that I don’t know why. I know why I left my son’s father. I was never good enough. I wasn’t good enough to marry. I wasn’t good enough even when I provided everything. I wasn’t recognized in my emotions. I was always to blame when I felt sad, because I shouldn’t feel that way; I shouldn’t let his actions affect my emotions. I was constantly accused of cheating, even while I was pregnant. I was a roommate. I wasn’t shown a gentle affection. Just a small act of sitting on the couch and placing his had on my leg or snuggling me was never offered. I felt alone. I felt unappreciated and I felt invisible.

He moved on within two weeks, or sooner maybe, as everyone says is possible given the time frame. Granted, I did tell him that I didn’t want to get back together or work it out. It was an act of desperation because I’d left before and he made all kinds of empty promises to come back; i’d hoped that would make him realize I was for real and really focus on himself and work on it. Instead, he started dating someone else. I was expected to sit face to face with this girl 2-3 weeks later, with no regards to my emotions (reminder, that’s why I felt compelled to leave him). 2 weeks after that, after discussion that he would let my son around her when i felt comfortable, he introduced her to my son behind my back (on my birthday weekend). I can’t control any of this. Especially the part where my sons dad is choosing someone else over trying to fix his family.

Fast forwarding to 4 months later. I started talking to someone from work. This is someone I had no interest in, and I was warned about from the beginning. I was warned that his “bestfriend”, who was a girl, was his exgirlfriend and they were still hooking up. My bad. My personality and change in character of really trying to give people the benefit of the doubt really came back to bite me in the ass. He made me feel so justified, and beautiful, and safe. To come back around and me find his “bestfriends” truck in front of his house when he said she wasn’t there and that she didn’t stay the night. His excuse when I caught him? “My other ex Sam had said she wanted to come over, so that i didn’t do anything stupid, I asked my other ex who is now my bestfriend, to sleep on the couch.” OK. I’m so angry that I let myself fall for that.. that I thought jumping into a relationship was ok. I thought it was right. I felt it was the right person and time, because I was so caught up in my ex being so happy and moving on that I thought I was supposed to be too. I was wrong. I hate that that happened. But I can’t control it and I can’t change it. It’s hard accepting an apology you never received. I like to think that he has a major psychological issue, where he needs to feel constantly admired and wanted, and I can’t control that. I wish I could be all of that for someone and I can’t be. And i  wonder if that adds to this. Of feeling like I wasn’t enough. But i am enough. I AM.

I wondered if I had jumped the gun on leaving my sons dad. And I know I didn’t. I had dwelt on it for months, and prayed on it. We even broke up before I found out I was pregnant, and decided to work it out. However, I believe we just needed time apart to figure ourselves out, and I get so angry that he denied us the chance of that. Instead of working on himself, instead of waiting it out, he instantly jumped to another relationship. What does that say about our family? What does that say about how much I mean to him?

I wanted my family. i wanted it more than anything. I think of him, or his gf, or our past, and I get a rush of anger/excitement/adrenaline. I’m not sure what it’s called. But it’s constant and it has contributed to my panic attacks. Why can’t I shake the gut saddening feeling of my family working out? I cry, I punch a punching bag, I’ve tried depression/anxiety medications. Is it because I feel guilt, even though my separation was a need for my mental and emotional regathering? i don’t understand my mind. I think I have so much unresolved and so much confusion/sadness that it affects my reactions to anything happy, sad, stressful, or angry.

#depression anxiety panicdisorder breakup alcoholic sad confused family

[thelostandforgottenangel]

AU Facts - re-post

I was informed it's hard to get the first one to load so I don't know what's going on but I'll put it on here again just in case

Sorry guys

   My Alternate Universe follows a similar timeline to the 2014/16 movies but unlike that it differs in many ways, the turtles are a bit older and differ in age –this is due to having to replace subjects due to one or all passing from not being able to survive the shots they were given, work side by side with the cops after the Krangg invasion, they have a baby sister who they not only saved but was raised alongside them by Master Splinter

  Before anyone points it out the AU does have several different story timelines it follows – Raven was saved by Raph in one having found her alone in the sewers, in another he snuck up to the surface without permission and stumbled across the scene where two people were being harassed by the Foot in the end the little girl watches the men murder her mother as the young turtle tries to stop it… then there is one where the turtles never find the little girl and instead she grows up on the streets where she’s homeless and hunted by not only the Foot but also the Purple Dragons, in this timeline Raven saves Raphael from freezing to death after he’s hurt in a fight

I do tend to write poly relationships/one on one relationships

The OC Raven was originally from a book I was writing back in High School – in it she is a mutant who can absorb abilities (Like Rouge only the ability becomes hers making her dangerous to everyone around her) as a child she absorbed her guardian angel and the she fox who killed her making her the embodiment of something similar to the ying yang – beautifully innocent yet deadly, after that she is forced to carry a demon within her that tends to take over from time to time, so I did mutate her in one of my series where Sacks scientist actually force fox DNA into her with the mutagen and since in the AU the teenager has the DNA of a small species of turtle it mixes bad becoming unstable and creates a monster she struggles to control (Same as in the book)

  Enemies include:  Shredder and the Foot clan, General Krangg, Hun and the Purple Dragon’s

  The turtles have several allies other than April O’Neal, Vern, and Casey Jones, this world also includes Leatherhead who lives off in a substation close to where their original lair existed down by the docks (So far they have had four homes in their lives), they also have a few other human allies which includes a blind man that runs a thrift store with his wife and daughter where the family get most of their newer cloths Raven fixes for them, a girl who works at a pizza shop and Chinese restaurant that coexist in the same building who gives them the leftovers they are going to throw out, and a few homeless people who stay near where their bridge exit – not including the NYPD

  Leatherhead met the turtles when they rescued him from a lab the Foot were operating out of, the massive croc has a uncontrollable rage point that erupts without warning and much like the turtles he doesn’t trust humans, they found him a home where he could be safe and no human’s would be able to get near his home on the other side of the abandoned tunnels never thinking a human would actually go there willingly – also forgetting a certain teenage girl happened to go hang out in those tunnels from time to time

The first time Raven runs into the croc she is wondering around and steps into his lair without knowing she was in danger

Giving she’s never feared her family she doesn’t move a muscle when what she originally thought was Raphael turned out to be a giant mutant crocodile man, she attempts to calm him before he attacks her - she gets hurt trying to outrun him knowing the sewers far better than him she slips away by taking a tunnel only to slam right into the mutant once again just as one of her brother’s comes to rescue her having heard the screams

The turtles had mentioned they had a little sister but had never thought the two would meet but after she had apologized for trespassing in his home the two somehow became the best of friends

Leatherhead having been raised in the labs is incredibly smart and enjoys spending time in Donatello’s lab while visiting his friends if he’s not hanging out with Mikey or being spoiled by Raven who makes him tons of food while he is there

Although the croc his bigger then the turtles he his only a few years older then the teen girl

  The first lair was down a few miles from the docks where the turtles and Splinter lived until they were old enough to move without the rat having to carry them, the second lair (Lair we see in the first movie) was destroyed by the foot and Shredder, the third was a station that was long forgotten where they stayed for a year before finding their current home where they have been for five years

This Lair is massive having three levels underground and an above ground Garage where they keep their vehicles so they don’t disturb their father while working on them or heading out late at night.

The main parts of the lair are all in one large room decorated like an underground amusement park equipped with a water slide with smaller rooms built up off to the sides including the huge kitchen, a dojo, a weight room, the lab and needle room reside off to the back where they have a TV room and a rear exit, Splinter’s garden room that connects to his bedroom, and a small bathroom right under the stairs.

Each of the turtles have their own room set up the way they like upstairs of the home overlooking the den and dining area, a separate set of stairs goes to an underground area where there is a pool and basking area for hot summer days and showers in a separate area set up like a locker room

  The ages of the turtles vary depending on when I’m writing so per usual I try to write them when they were teens but most storied are going in their early twenties. Ages for the turtles range in stories from 10, 12, 15, (18 – 26 ç the most) and as always Leo is oldest followed by Raph, then Donnie, and Mikey is the baby of the brothers

  Leonardo – The oldest

Leonardo was the only baby turtle from the original first four to survive the mutagen shots where as his sisters from the clutch never hatched

As a toddler this sweet boy clung to Splinter just as much as his baby brother and was the first to show his true personality

  The blue banded ninja is the same loveable yet anal older brother we all adore, but he is much stricter than most people are used too and tends to sound extremely cold even if he doesn’t mean too at times/he can come off as a jerk which he tries to avoid.

As the oldest and the leader of the clan he carried a lot on his shoulders even if his younger siblings try to help him he’s not too keen on letting them

He was the first of his brother’s to be allowed to go with Splinter on junk runs since he was very obedient to his father’s orders even if he had a small tendency to goof off from time to time

He tends to argue with Raphael over everything from why he’s leader to why the hotheaded turtle can’t go out to the surface most days, he leads the team in practice and training daily, spends a good portion of his days training, improving his katas, and meditating

He tries to loosen up from time to time so he’s not always the serious turtle that constantly has a perpetual stick up his ass, on those days he plays video games with Mikey or works out with Raph getting into competitions with his brother that he tends to lose at, sometimes if Donnie has a lot on his plate he will go and help with smaller projects

Leo can’t cook even though he tries to much to his siblings dismay, he is skilled in sewing, loves to read and tends to try new things to see if he likes them every other month

  Raphael – Second oldest

Raphael was the only surviving hatchling from the next clutch of eggs due to the others fell ill and died within the first two months due to poor diets, he was left in his tank alone and fell ill of a broken heart shortly after his brothers and sister died, looking as if he would pass too April O’Neal placed him in with the older baby turtle hoping he would be comforted if he did perish – instead Raphael got better and when he took to Leonardo the scientist kept him in the tank to be sure he wouldn’t fall sick again.

Do to the trauma of losing his siblings early on the turtle became protective of Leo, Donnie, and Mikey once they were in the tank not allowing anyone except April and her father to pick them up

As a rambunctious toddler Raphael was the more curious wonderer so Splinter had to find a playpen to keep him and Donnie in so they didn’t run off until he found a heating lamp then the rowdy tot was never far from it always basking if he wasn’t playing

  As the biggest turtle he comes off as intimidating and has the temper and attitude to back it up but around his family he is more laid back. As the second oldest he butts heads with his brothers – mostly Leonardo several times a day due to they are both alphas and only a few months apart in age – but it’s more to just keep the leader on his toes then to be an ass

Raphael spends a good portion of his day lifting his weights, breaking his punching bag, making repairs around the lair, working in the garage, or wondering around the sewers if he’s not in his room or screwing with Leo

Raphael is actually the one who saved Raven when he was only ten bringing her home and caring for the girl while she was weak

The red masked turtle is quite the handy man so it takes a lot off what Don has to do in the lair when it comes to furniture being broken or having to repair pipes other than the electronics from time to time, he also enjoys working in the garage on his motorcycle when he needs some alone time… this tends to happen more than ever when you have three brothers that piss you off on a regular bases

At night if the brother’s don’t go out for patrol or have an easy night he sneaks out to meet Casey to ride bikes and patrol the city

And yes because I’m a sucker for it he does dress up as Nightwatcher without his family knowing to go out and fight crime, I had to give the hothead a motorcycle for him to ride but in actuality he had 2-3 he works on

He tries to not show it but he’s very protective of his family and cares for his brothers a lot , especially his two younger siblings, and as mean and off putting as he tried to come off he’s still a giant teddy bear with a really big heart that comforts the others when needed

Raphael loves knitting, carving little wooden figures, and cooking. He has his own play system in his room with his own TV but Mikey doesn’t mind him playing him on the one in the den if he’s not pumping weights

  Donatello – Third Oldest

Donnie was actually the only egg to be brought in for the next test probably because it was the only one they could find so late in the season, he was perfectly healthy to their surprise.

When placed in the tank with Leo and Raph he didn’t take to them right away tending to stay far away from the two other males who were inseparable but given time Raph wouldn’t leave him alone and started dragging him around the cage by his carapace when he would retract into his shell to hide from them taking him to the food where the other two stayed sitting there with the turtle until he came out to eat, afterwards the third turtle was never far from the others

Even at these ages he showed higher than normal intelligence able to find ways to escape their tanks

By the time he was a toddler he was already interested in things having created their first toy from scrap parts until they had a car that drove around the home on its own it acted at a motivation in getting his baby brother to crawl as he chased it

  Our sweet purple banded genius is still a genius so I didn’t change him by much

Donnie spends every waking hour in his lab if he’s not training, having to fix the security systems that surround their liar, or repairing the things his brothers break every other day, he also has three areas inside their home that belong to him

The Lab, his computer station, and his room

He’s a coffee addict so Leonardo and Master Splinter have set a limit on his caffeine intake although being Donnie he has his own coffee pot hidden in the lab so he still drinks more then he’s supposed to, his siblings constantly have to pull him from the lab to eat if they don’t just bring his food to him otherwise he would forget completely

The genius and his family built onto their home over the years so because of that each of the turtles now have their own rooms and a portion of the lair that belongs to them separately

Donatello created the lair from top to bottom making all their electronics, appliances, ect. So he tends to joke when Leo tries to boss him around

  Michelangelo – Youngest

Mikey sadly was the only egg in his clutch of ten to survive but was born sick due to he had a twin that had died in the egg while inside with him, because he was the only egg to survive in over a year they cared for him round the clock until he was well enough to be placed in the tank with the other three turtles even though he was too small to fend for himself but never had too.

It was instant that the other three became protective of the tiny turtle caring for him

Because he was so tiny he liked to ride around on his brother’s shells while they wondered around the tank of hide under them while they were standing

The scientist had a hard time getting the smallest turtle away from his brothers since they were always huddled around him, Raphael and Leonardo brought the youngest two plenty of food before they would eat while Donatello would lie beside him protectively until the older two were back from their bowl

It was because of how territorial the older three were that they were all placed in separate tanks that sat side by side in a square so they could all see one another allowed to be in the same tank while April was in the lab playing with them

  Michelangelo is our little prankster/skater boy

This loveable little turtle is just as we have always seen him - he can be the biggest pain in Raphael’s butt wreaking Donnie’s lab like a tornado joking off in the dojo while Leo’s trying to continue training but still somehow being that innocent angel in his father’s eyes all in the same ten minutes

Because of how small he was when he hatched Mikey is smaller than his brothers – this is more of his size then age but it makes it easy to see he’s the baby brother in all aspects

When he’s not messing with his brothers or getting one somebody’s nerves Mikey spends a good portion of his time either playing video games, reading his comics, or tagging the lair with his art while nobody’s paying him any mind – he has even done a wall in each of his siblings rooms in honor of something he loves about them making a memorial for each room

When it comes that time of year the orange banded turtle is the one to start the parties, planning the biggest bashes with the help of their sister they never fail to impress weather it’s a birthday party of Christmas

Mikey has the potential to be better than his older brothers, he’s much faster, skilled, and the shortness comes in handy he’s too laid back to really try

  Raven – the baby

She’s a curvy yet slim beauty with pale porcelain skin, long black curly locks she wears in a bun of ponytail at all times, and emerald green eyes, she’s only 5’6 so she’s constantly teased for being short by her brothers, the young girl hasn’t always been with the mutant family

She was abandoned in the sewers when she was very young and somehow survived on her own for months before stumbling upon Raphael while he was out blowing off steam after a fight with Leonardo, she followed the turtle from a distance curious about him until he realizes she’s there. She hides in a tunnel when he turns but doesn’t try to run from him when he came to investigate only to find a sick and thin form

He rushes her to Donatello who had recently started learning everything he can from several medical books after finishing the physics and the thesaurus collections Master Splinter has found him while scavenging threw a junk yard or walking past a dumpster. She’s really sick and they all expect her to never make it but a few days later she’s just as active as any normal child would even though she’s still ill

It was guessed Raph had to have been the only person she had seen in a long time but for a child she looks at them as if they are no different from the tiny human girl and the longer they are around the child the more they learn about the strange child their brother brought home

At first glance the girl seems like any normal kid – curious about everything she sees and gets into, she loves to watch them while they play games or sits close by while they are watching movies, after a while she goes to them sitting in their laps as they read or watch cartoons… Then come the day they find she is far from normal

Raven hates enclosed or tiny spaces unless she finds one she likes, has major abandonment issues, and more surprising to the family the girl hates humans more than her fear of snakes

By the age of five Splinter lets her join in with the turtles in their practices but doesn’t start fully training her until she is twelve when he comes home from a walk to sees her playing with a broom stick like it was a bo or a sword sparring with her brothers as they practice their team attacks, he stays back watching the girl holding her own against the turtles who at that time were teenagers – seeing the potential she has he started her training pushing her just as hard as he does his sons

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  v  The turtles don’t wear their full gear while relaxing in the lair – just pants and masks if it’s an off day – hoodies that are customized to fit over their shells during winter

  v  As they get older they are not required to train but do it anyways now that Leo has started leading the training practices while their father watches from his seat to keep an eye on the teen girl

  v  Splinter lived in the lab the turtles and him were created for three years before being freed into the sewers

  v  All of them have different eye and skin colors:

         ~ Leo has some of the deepest icy sky blue eyes and leaf green skin

          ~ Raph has golden orbs with emerald green skin

            ~ Donnie has honey brown eyes and olive green flesh

              ~ Mikey has the prettiest baby blues and a light sea green coloring to his skin

  v  Like the turtle’s Raven is skilled in several things – having taught herself to cook and bake, loves to sew and after years of practice became good enough to repair and make clothes for her family, does most of the cleaning in the lair just out of boredom… learned mechanics and how to work on cars by watching Donnie and Raph

  v  Leonardo and Raphael are both 26 but a few months apart in age, Donnie is six months younger then Raph (25-26 depending on the time of the year), Mikey is a year younger than his three older brothers (24-25)

  v  None of the turtles are actual blood siblings

  v  Raphael even though he cares for the girl deeply starts to push her away a few years after she comes to live with them fearing he will hurt her if he lets her too close but slowly she breaks his walls down considering him her best friend even though he acts like he hates her

  v  The guys have rap battles at random to roast each other

  v  Donatello was practically blind so his brothers had to lead him around until he figured out where everything was in their home until he was eight when Splinter was able find him some glasses in the garbage but as he got older the frames were smashed several times so he found a way to make his own to his prescription and now just orders them when he needs a new pair

  v  Splinter started teaching the little girl ninjitsu at the age of 5 – she may be years behind her older siblings but the rat saw fit that she start earlier then his sons   (Boys started when they were 8)

  v  3 nights out of the week are family nights so they have dinner together usually a homemade meal before either watching movies or playing games together, very rare is when Splinter is out of the lair do the siblings head to the surface to hang out for fun

  v  Mikey clings to Raphael more than his other brothers

  v  The teen gets several smaller jobs to help support the family once she learns to deal with her deep set fear of the humans bringing in more money for their needs, she is more mature than girls her own age and can sometimes act more like a mom rather than the youngest sibling

  v  Michelangelo having painted every room in the lair goes out to the tunnels around the home to work on his art, or takes off to Leatherheads part of the tunnels to get some peace and quiet from his brothers

    v  Leonardo’s love for Japanese culture was so intense he not only learned to speak the language he uses it almost as much as he does English becoming fluent by the age of thirteen, his room is decorated with art and writings from the country his brother’s managed to get over the internet

  v  On junkyard runs Raphael hangs back watching for danger while guarding Don’s shell before making his way to the front to feed the guard dogs playing with them and the puppies while his brothers look for things for their home so he can see the night security building and warn them if he leaves

  v  Donatello carried two jobs at the age of fifteen as not only a computer technician but also as a customer service assistant for people having trouble with their systems

  v  When younger they had to teach the girl several things – at the age of four even with very little physical contact with people of any kind the girl had a full vocabulary and to an extent could read but her way of speaking was confusing

  v  She was fascinated with  horror films of any kind that even the turtles couldn’t watch

  v  Birthdays were never really celebrated until they had a home but each of the turtles picked a day they wanted to celebrate their birthdays on: Leo picked February 13, Raphael May 11, Donnie picked November 20, and Mikey being the goof he is picked October 31. Raven’s real birthday actually falls the day after Raphael’s on May 12 but she always forgets it going all out for her brothers – usually they remind her

  v  Mikey and Raph takes shifts cooking with the teen during the week

  v  Like Donnie, Raven is a coffee addict

  v  Raphael actually has a good voice and when younger used to sing to his brothers – now you have to tempt it out of him when he’s either in a really good mood or drunk

  v  They choose nights when they go solo

  v  Patrols are never in groups unless it’s a mission, they split into teams to patrol parts of the city on more difficult nights but on the easy nights they divide the city into four parts each turtle taking a portion

  v  They take turns being teamed up with their human sister

  v  Splinter has a soft spot of animals and tends to be unable to say no when one of his children bring home a stray pet – he loves Mikey’s kitten

  v  The first time one of them (Donatello) got hurt in front of her during training the little girl had whimpered running to the turtle’s side looking the wound over before trying to clean the wound herself – Mikey practically ran screaming in horror to get their father as the little girl licked the wound to stop the blood… (It’s gross but she grew up without proper role models so seeing animals cleaning wounds on the streets stuck with her)

  v  Mikey was the one to figure out the child they took in was smart when she accidentally hacked into Donatello’s computer to get the parental lock off the youngest turtles game system

  v  Donnie buys groceries by using the online orders having them delivered to the building just over the lair where Raven or Casey poses as the owners of a small business and the teen travels to the store only for small items

  v  None of the mutants knew the girl was good with electronics until she was playing with her computer he had made her and managed to unlock Don’s system playing one of his games with him before they even knew she was doing so

  v  Raphael’s favorite treat is brownies

  v  Raven being raised alongside the guys had to learn not only how to fight and protect herself she was taught how to keep up with them being slightly slower, jump over areas no human could manage, and hide in an instant before she was allowed out of the sewers with them so they played games to prepare her for things that may happen on the surface

  v  The very first time they ever took the girl to the surface was with her brother’s for a junkyard run that was supposed to be an easy night; it turned into a fight for their lives. The turtles finally seeing that the innocent kid had a much darker side when they were in trouble. She fought several men hand to hand with ease before ultimately killing two Foot soldiers before she even realized she had done so

  v  The guys take great joy in teasing their baby sister for being so small or pushing her into doing things they would have gotten in trouble for – Splinter never disciplines her for them if his sons were involved

  v  Raphael looks to Leo for advice when he really needs it even though they fight alot

  v  Although she doesn’t get sent in there a lot the teen’s punishment in the Ha’shi is to stand/balance on a bamboo pole with one foot while doing anything from stitching clothes or reading her textbooks to force the girl to focus her mind

  v  Raphael and Leonardo are usually the ones the teenager is teamed up with being the most protective of the girl, the other reason is nether of the younger turtles keep that good of an eye trusting her to keep with them. Donnie’s mind is always wondering and Mikey get distracted

  v  Raven having been told to stay away from Leatherheads place without one of her brothers with her fearing their friend could hurt her if he doesn’t recognize her never listens to them, she tends to believe the mutant would never hurt her on purpose and always gives him the benefit of doubt. Somehow the two are the best of friends even though she risk her life every time she steps foot into his home

  v  The kanji carved into Raphael’s shoulder is a constant reminder to watch his temper after flying into a rage in the middle of a sparring session with Leo in which Leo caught him with his sword accident cutting his brother over his lip unable to dodge fast enough when Raph attacked raking  the longest prong across his brother’s eye almost taking it out leaving the scar over Leo’s eye once it healed, after being sure his big brother would be okay he ran to his room and cut the symbol into his flesh without his father knowing until he fell ill when it got infected

  v  Raven  although with her fears of human’s warmed up to April within hours of them meeting due to the young reporter found the girl’s weakness (Coffee)but Raven took well over a year to warm up to Casey never getting to close to the man while he was conscious still not fully trusting him but after seeing her brother’s screwing with the man for fun she makes an effort to sneak attack him the moment he gets to the lair finding it funny when Mikey shouts out the score

  v  Mikey has a small fluffy white, orange, and gray kitten he named sweetie after he rescued the poor baby from the tunnels without his brothers knowing hiding the sweet little fur ball in his room until the morning it got out and attacked Leo’s leg while he was meditating – it is never to be spoke of since Leonardo never heard the tint angel playing beside him screaming just before he fell off his meditation perch just as Raphael finished his workout causing him to be mocked for weeks afterwards – and due to it being able to get the best of the blue banded turtle the kitten is practically worshiped by the others

  v  With enough begging from the young girl each of the turtles have been forced to have a peel off face mask at least once in their lives – Mikey’s the only one who willingly gets one every week when April comes over to do one on the girl

  v  Leo tells the lamest jokes but yet there are still funny

  v  Raphael had a Pitbull puppy when he was a kid but had to rehome her due to she didn’t like Donnie walking through the lair late at night

  v  When the weather gets bad or the tunnels are flooded around their home the teen makes the family pot roast stew and small sweet treats to cheer up her cabin fever ridden siblings always making plenty so they have tons of extras – as soon as the guys are busy she dishes up a few servings into several tuber wear bowls making sure they will survive the journey before slipping out of the home. Due to where he lives it’s hard for him to get out and find food once the seasons grow cold so the family tends to bring him groceries at least twice a month. Making her way through the overflowing tunnels to his home to be sure he’s fed – she’s sure to check and watch her back while wading through the deep water just in case he’s out finding the croc is always grateful for her caring thoughts and food

  v  They created a personal holiday where one day out of the year Mikey can’t pull pranks or be annoying – they also have on the same day where everyone has to prank one another and the loser actually does chores for a few months  by themselves and Mikey usually loses

  v  When hurt of upset the teen shuts down – she never shows weakness and rarely cries in front of the family

  v  Being older brother’s each of the guys taught the human girl something  personally even though she learned a lot by just watching them:  Leonardo helps her one on one in the dojo to achieve her lessons faster if she’s having trouble while also teaching her to speak several different languages so if the need arises she can pull off any disguise and throw off enemies, Raphael even though told not to by their Master taught the girl to drive not only the garbage truck but to also operate a motorcycle before she was fifteen got in trouble then took to teaching her several fighting skills, Donnie being the educated turtle saw the curiosity the girl at a very young age and started teaching her several things from medical training so if he’s not around she could deal with injuries of all severities to honing her hacking skills until she is just as good as him, Michelangelo taught the girl how to swim and draw finding a hidden talent she possessed for awesome anime characters

  v  Even though the teen plays stupid around others she’s just as smart as her older brothers and acts as though she’s older then the turtles

  v  Raphael spends the most time next to Leonardo in the Ha’shi – Mikey is in close third whereas Donnie rarely gets sent into the room unless he’s in the middle of something with his brothers

  v  To stop Donatello from licking the icing off their pop tarts the young woman buys the genius coffee flavored so he will eat the entire thing practically abolishing his nasty habit but his brother’s still hide their breakfast items

  v  Raph has several tattoos including one for each of his family members

  v  The guys tend to go into a hibernated like state during the winter making it harder to wake them

  v  Michelangelo, Donatello, and Leonardo get sick at least two times a year whereas Raphael is rarely ever sick but it was always easy to tell when they weren’t feeling well.

~ Mikey would act like he was completely helpless and whoever was taking care of him would practically have to do everything for him – he turns into a child that constantly needs cuddles.

~ Donatello was usually always sick since it seemed like his immune system was slightly weaker than the others, so he locks his self in the lab going over everything he could find on the internet thinking he had something that was worse than just a cold – in the end where he would only be down for a day or two it’s dragged out into a week-long ordeal.

~ Leonardo basically sleeps for hours as if Donnie would have drugged him; the oldest turtle becomes completely unresponsive to the world easily knocked out cold from the smallest illness so nothing disturbs him no matter how loud Mikey tries to be

~ Raphael, when he does manage to come down with something turns into that giant teddy bear he is on the inside becoming strangely affectionate and needy to any form of comfort the other’s will give him – so when he’s sick he curls up on the couch and nuzzles up to anyone that gets too close, usually it’s the girl who’s trying to take care of him

  v  Donnie having gotten tired of hearing the unpleased opinions of his brother’s about his eating habits and the unnecessary energy it takes to leaving the lab for drinks or food found and fixed up a refrigerator he keeps stocked with Soda’s and snacks

  v  Raphael and Mikey are the ones who do tattoos for the brothers

  v  Once a year the family goes up to the cabin in the mountains for a few weeks – two months at the most to train, recover, relax before heading back home

  v  Leo makes his own candles and takes great joy in making them for his Master

  v  Mikey although he can be messy is very organized, he likes to collect things – comics, action figures, manga, anime, you name it he likes it and has a place for everything in his room. So it may be messy but when he feels like it his room can be organized almost just as well as Leo’s

  v  Raphael actually had the teen help him make his Nightwatcher uniform without her ever knowing making her think it was for a Halloween party they were having

  v  Raven is fifteen when she starts to have nightmares and flashbacks remembering a life she never knew she had, remembering her mother, the details that wound her up in the sewers, faces and voices she doesn’t know seem so familiar but never tells her family

  v  Raven had been going out with the turtles for three years when her true bloodline was revealed to them, during a battle with the Foot Raven gets cornered by Shredder away from her family but just as the man is going to kill her he stops to look her over almost in shock before ordering his men to release her. he apologized for their rudeness referring to her as princess before he tells her of a life she doesn’t remember… her real name was Anastasia, of her mother who he took in off the streets and got her cleaned up of drugs, how he cherished the young woman… and was so happy to find out she could help him continue the clans bloodline

  v  It is then that he tells the teen she is the heir to the Foot clan and her mother was killed for kidnapping her and going on the run when it was revealed that she was to be raised as a deadly assassin that would someday take his place over the evil organization

  v  He literally comes out to tell the girl she was his daughter when she doesn’t believe him

  v  The simple fact of learning she is the offspring of their enemy destroys her and then she becomes hell bent on training so  she can prove she’s nothing like the evil man and vows to disband the clan if she ever takes over it

  v  Leo didn’t like tea when he was a kid

  v  Mikey posts their music on YouTube having a whole hip-hop list him and the guys have done

  v  Raven even though she is a human has gotten into fist fights with Raphael

 Didn't separate this time so hope you all enjoy

#tmnt 2014/2016 #fun facts #backstory #origins #teenage mutant ninja turtles #turtle tots #flashback #background #oc female

[antemortem-rp-blog]

WELCOME, T !! You’ve been accepted for the role of Allison Argent. We’re so excited to have you join the ante mortem family. Please look over the checklist and make sure to send in your account within 48 hours. We look forward to seeing you on our dash.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name / Alias: T

Age: 27

Pronouns: she/her

Timezone: pst

Anything Else?: this is a chance to let the main know anything you want in reference to you as a player.

IN CHARACTER

Desired Character: allison argent

Why?:

she is the girl that ceases life with her bare hands, but there is something about her that remains a mystery. allison argent is not a simple character. allison argent is not just the pretty girl with a warrior heart & undeniable youth ( surely she is too young to be this dynamic – too young to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders ). there is something standoffish about her – something so eccentric and strange and unreachable that makes her absolutely human.

& she is just that  –  HUMAN.

she loves with her whole heart & hate with same intensity. she is a walking contradiction  – she just doesn’t know it. she does what she wants without a second thought, but grows frustrated  ( mainly at herself  )  when the outcome ends up bad. she is reckless by nature, but lectures others when their reckless nature brings harm to those she cares about. she is a strong WARRIOR, but she is always second guessing herself. because, in her mind, she is not strong or good  –  she stands by a code, but remains unsure on how to keep that code. deep down, she knows she is not reliable. but she is growing up. she is coming to terms with a lot of things.

& she does want to run.             but she refuses to let anyone fall..

Character Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality & Ships: i am a huge chemistry shipper so my first ship for allison would be allison/chemistry. i do want to explore scott/allison  (  who didn’t love them ?  )  and i want to explore lydia/allison in terms of friendship. her sexuality is fluid  —  she loves for personality and is open to anything really.

Occupation: she is currently a student constance college  &  is an undecided major. she is also currently working part time at the sheriff’s station as a clerk.

Headcanons:

[ one ] paranoia makes habits  –  monsters lurk in the shadows. every night before allison goes to sleep, she has this habit of ALWAYS checking her room to make sure everything is in place and that no one is hiding in her closet, bathroom, or underneath her bed. only after her room is checked ( on the bad nights, she checks twice  )  can she be able to get into bed and sleep.

[ two ] she looks like she has everything under control, but she is lost, lost, lost  –  before the death of her aunt, she does not know what she wants for her future. live is always &constantly on the move, she has always been more focused on the present. after the death of her aunt, allison still does not know what she wants for her future. she keeps up her grade and social life, but as third year comes, she is still indecisive about what to do after. perhaps it is a good thing that she has a whole bunch of distractions.

[ three ] allison has a fascination for the color red. her fingernails are nearly always painted red, and she found that she likes the way it looks when pressed against her beloved bow. it makes her feel powerful  &  unstoppable – almost like a heroine in a movie.

[ four ] allison’s whole life is impacted by her friends and family. since little, she has not stayed in a place long enough to make sincere friends ( sometimes, it was easier not too ). being friends with lydia, scott, and stiles changed her life  –  they brought companionship to a lonely girl  &  she cannot be more thankful. their opinions matter more to her than anything else  &  she is willing to do what it takes to make sure that they are safe.

Para Sample:

can you picture this : the glow of round moon painted the forest silver. the blanket of shadows nestled underneath branches. the sleeping sun tucked away behind the elusive moon; silver light, silver light, silver light all around the dense forest. daring souls had long surrendered to slumber — wrapped tightly in warm blankets and dreaming of hopeful dreams. little human beings tossing and turning in the comfort of stone walls, blinding security, and familial warmth. no one heard. no one heard.

no one heard : the howls made from breaking bones and tearing fleshes. the way the skeletons snapped like broken branches. the bellowing of a boy — the snarls of a beast. the mischievous snickering of a boy about to betray his friend. a snide remark made; a snort sounded. then silence. then growls. then screams. horrified screams! the kind of scream that would dip a body with fear.

the beginning of a nightmare that only happens when the moon is hung high and dreams ran vividly.

the kind of nightmare little warrior has to relive over and over again ( all for the blackened loyalty that flowed through her bloodstreams ). tired eyes flickered between the blanket of blackness in front of her to the bright screen of her cell phone before ivory hand pocket the small device.

her last message engraved in her head ( but ignored nevertheless ) :

[ sms; father ] come home now.

she looked up…

& far beyond her reach lies the promise land of her sweet empathy — where starving compassion hid underneath withering willow tree. shaken by unexpected breeze, the leaves fall slowly ; an intake of breath, and the crusty leaves turned into thorns to penetrate the surrounding dirt. leniency shattered & vanished — the blissful mirage evaporated ( ah, but it was pretty to look at ), giving way to the settling reality. now a pinch of fear had taken over. uncertainty crept between the cracks of her bones. perturbation lingered in her bloodstreams. her mind is unstable — racing so fast, so fast in this stressful encounter. not stopping or resting as she calculated the percentage of danger. not resting for the wicked plays when the moon is bright.

black veil fell — he glistened underneath the pale light. reflections caught on the silvery wisps ( a shade just a hue or two lighter than her own dark hair ), illuminating with each sway of long locks. so captivating was his gliding movements — like a slow ripple in still water. angular features protruding underneath a layer of pallid pigmentation. the devil’s child wrapped in faux elegance — how wrongful it was for monsters to look so bewitching when they stink of ichor & death !

thus, she stood there like artemis — all tall & cautious with her beloved bow raised. silver arrow ( a specialty produced by her own hands ) pointed directly at his heart. only to lower by a centimeter at the presence of his raised hands ( the supposed sign of defeat and peace ). steady gazes made to hide the rapid pound of her treacherous beating organ. warrior, warrior — courageous warrior; she stood her ground to find her remedy, for the lick of tension tingled her alabaster skin. “ don’t come any closer. i will not hesitate to shoot. ”

a warning made with steady voice ( golden lioness is not afraid. not afraid. not afraid. ), and slender fingers twitched along the smooth wooden surface of her bow.

her arrow ready – aimed to harm.

“ i mean it. ” inwardly, she cursed the way her voice wavered. weak, weak little girl  –  she was terrified of the outcome.

a girl of twenty fighting a war made for thirty.

but she was stubborn & youthful & does not know when to quit. so spine straightened and eyes narrowed  –  she is an argent; she is a survivor.

& she shot her beloved arrow to erase all traces of cowardliness from her fragile bones.

no more fear allison.            no more fear.

Anything Else?:

P I N T E R E S T S.

#tw rp #crossover rp #fandom rp #supernatural rp #new rp #accepted #c: allison

[kingsmanxrp]

LOADING PROFILE…

KWON MINA, ALSO KNOWN AS ODETTE, WAS LAST SEEN IN SEOUL, SK.  CURRENT PROFESSION: KINGSMAN AGENT [ MEDICAL PERSONNEL ]

THE FOLLOWING DETAILS ARE CLASSIFIED. PROCEED?

PERSONALITY

Mina is a product of her parents. Her mother grew up constantly under a spotlight, hounded by the public and criticized every waking moment. In turn, Mina was raised by a mother who never wanted her daughter to be weak. People capitalize on weakness, after all. The problem was, Mina has never been weak. Mina took control of things before they could spiral out of her hands, and as far as she was concerned, her parents were the ones out of control. She grew up in an unstable environment rocked by the whims of authority figures, so she gripped the reins on her own life and never let go.

She is far too kind, but also far too stern with little patience for other people’s hesitance. A girl with an opinion for everything. She’s not the nicest, but nice is not always synonymous with successful. Mina has never been guided by any ambition but her own and never will be. Damned be the one who ever stands in her way. 

BIOGRAPHY 

She loses her feet at the age of seven.

They belong to discipline, to hard wood dance studios, to the critique of instructors who only want to see her succeed as ballerina. These bleeding heels become familiar with the length of a church floor. They belong to pointe shoes that pinch her toes until they’re twisted and unrecognizable. Pretty technique is not successful on its own, and she is no temporary placement piece.

Mina is studied by the watchful eye of her mother who drills her in every practice, arriving to each recital without a husband and ignoring the weight of shame that drags her pride down when people create stories to explain his absence. Mina holds her head higher than them both. She learns how to comfort her parents without reaching for them back. She owes only this to them.

This body is sold to family reputation.And this daughter cannot settle for less, not with her mother as a guide. Jihyun Kwon always left room for more in a life she claimed was full enough, and she built aspirations inside Mina with these words. Floors in her mind remain empty for the possibility of something more she could accomplish to grow, something else for her mother to construct and then stake a claim in. There are different ways to corner a child into the trap of your own ambitions and lie in a manner everyone will praise you for.

“Mina–remember–family is most important.”

The fabric of her dress itches against her skin in church, but she watches old men and women swear on faith the same day her mother tells her about the divorce. It’s explained slowly, carefully. Fingers squeeze around her hand as if she might run. Belief should not be so uncomfortable to rely on when she is still young. She stops going to church and soon enough her mother remarries.

Hands are taken by a new step-father and he steals the questions out of her mouth.

He gets down on one knee, feeding her ears with the gentle promises of new clothes, books, a room larger than she’s ever seen. She should not be able to complain, after all. This should be all she wants.

Mother claims this man is a lawyer, a great man, and a responsible father. It is too unfamiliar for her to voice out loud.

“Yes, sir.”

She adopts his stern lifestyle and a younger brother already determined to inherit the law firm as soon as he graduates college. He’s a wild card in a family legacy, always taking, taking, taking, and Mina wants nothing to do with this new family’s wealth. Her father never plans to give more than that to her.

“Didn’t you hear–the youngest Choi son is why that poor girl is pregnant–”

Scandals are hidden in this world. The only difference is the secrets people hide are bigger to conceal the damage this family name can cause. Mina never hears about the girl again, and her brother still sneaks out to greet the same mistakes with a kiss and slow grin.

Her step-father sends her abroad to study in Europe. There is discontent inside Mina’s mind, and he recognizes ambition. It worries him. His hands cannot mold her into someone worthy of inheritance, so she is a disappointment in secret. To everyone else her family equates with, she is a success story.

His voice beats against her skull every day she sits at the lap bar in a foreign country, surrounded with a foreign language, gawked at by people already familiar with their classmates and country.

No boy would ever control her this way. This would never distract her, not the way a girl on the third floor manages to with a soft smile and funny quirk of their brow. Every mistake becomes a facet to a new method and she dances to stamp out the expectations of others and replace it with her own motivations just to avoid the weight of accepting something she cannot have.

No distractions. Not as a virtuoso and honor student these teachers praise her for being.

A torn muscle is an easy injury–too common. Mina had always thrown herself into work to avoid fearful thoughts.

Her temporary injury becomes an impairment she’ll never quite run away from.

Her family forces her to return to South Korea at 16 to discuss options, and she refuses to enter any school her father donates to. She meets her first and last fiance at a private academy where the rich are lost in a sea of opportunity.

It’s here Mina discovers her aptitude for precision and a way to cradle her own version of freedom. She decides on medical school despite her father’s protests. Maybe his quiet rage even pushes her even further. She attends a top medical school in the United States. Talk of marrying well and carrying on the family name loses traction the more she succeeds and the less she calls home.  

At 22, she’s contacted to assist a surgeon in South Korea on regenerative cell research. It fulfills a prerequisite and looks great on a resume, so she goes. But the plane ticket lands her in a research facility far from capital.

“You were involved in a terrible tragedy in 2012. Part of a bridge collapsed.”

Mina folds her hands underneath the table. She wants to shake her head.

“They needed first respondents with medical experience. I was simply doing what I was trained for.”

“You saved over twenty people.”

“Excuse me for asking– but is this an interview or a background check?”

They almost seem amused.“it’s a job offering. Are you interested?”

Prodigy.

Illegitimate.  

Ungrateful.

Pitiful.

Handicapped.

These are the labels that slide off her skin and fall down below careful steps taken to where she is now in Kingsman. She’ll go throughout her life hearing worse, knowing how desperate people are to shelter their own pride with bared teeth and insults. She has built herself by giving up parts. She considers this no sacrifice. These are not her willing injuries.

These feet that walk prestigious halls driven by her own goals. These hands that cradle the family name. These fingers bruised by grasping invisible exit wounds. These eyes her mother raised to be cautious. This mouth her father taught to not be loud, but be the one they listen to. This young mind so determined to makes its own mark. She’ll take every piece back. 

This is not defeat.This is not a quiet version of vengeance.

“Yes.”

#shin sekyung #krp #kpop rp #kg: follow #kg: agents

[perfectisme-georgette]

Summary: All about Georgette pretty much ahaha I had started this when I was trying to figure out who in the world I was going to end up with and finally finished it completely todayyy!!!!

Trigger Warnings: Rape

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Name: Georgette Ryelyn Midler

Nickname: Close friends call her Georgie and are the only ones who are allowed to do so (she’s very particular with who can give her a nickname). Her dad calls her his Princess.

Reason for name: She was named after her paternal grandmother, who passed away when her father was very young

Birthday: October 25th, 1993

Age: Twenty-Three

Gender: Female

Place of birth: New York City, New York (Manhattan specifically)

Places lived since: Up until now that she lives in Swynlake, Georgette has only lived in NYC. She has vacationed and traveled practically every where though.

Parents’ names, backgrounds, occupations: William and Addison Midler. William is a famously known news anchor in NYC and Addison is currently a stay-at-home mother/wife. Addison was in the pageantry life and had won Miss America two years straight. It was in an interview about her win that William and Addison met and they had hit it off since then. On top of their careers, both of Georgette’s parents hail from old money.

Number of siblings: None, Georgette is the only princess

Relationship with family (close? estranged?): In the beginning, Georgette was very close, especially with her father (she was such a daddy’s little girl). Now, however, with making her stay quiet about her trauma and then practically shipping her off after their master plan of keeping quiet severely screwed their daughter up, Georgette has no relationship with either one of them.

Happiest memory: Her happiest memory was her very first pageant win because after that very first win Georgette practically took the pageant world by storm and even broke the record for the most wins to date.

Childhood trauma: Georgette’s childhood was absolutely beautiful. It was full of glamour, luxury, everything. There really wasn’t any kind of trauma in sight. That came later in life.

Children of his/her own?: None

If so, relationship with their mother/father?: N/A

Age he/she gave birth/became a father: N/A

PHYSICAL

Height: 5’ 7” (wow she’s actually pretty tall)

Weight: 120 lbs

Build: Slim

Nationality: American since she was born in the states.

Disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses): Georgette is currently suffering from PTSD, but she’s not exactly aware of it since she’s never been formally diagnosed with it. She is unstable as far as her spiraling is concerned haha. She’s taking into drinking, wouldn’t say she is an alcoholic, but the drinking does help her forget about her trauma.

Complexion (freckles, acne, skin tone, birth marks): Georgette has clear and clean skin, currently without acne or any blemishes. She’s very into skin care and keeping on top of her own skin.

Distinguishing facial features: Her eyes!!!!!!! Ughhh Georgette has gorgeous, and beautiful ocean blue eyes!!!!!

Hair color: Blonde

Usual hair style: Georgette’s hair is usually up, most of the time in a very pristine ponytail, but lately it’s been down and loose in waves which is her natural hair.

Eye color: Blueeeee

Glasses? Contacts?: None

Style of dress/typical outfit(s): Georgette always dresses to impress. Never has anything less than designer clothing on. She has a very clean-cut, classy look to her. Comfortable for her means a pair of heels. She’s very into skirts and dresses prefers those over pants, but is definitely not oppose to jeans as you’ll see her wear them when she goes out, that or a cocktail dress.

Typical style of shoes: Heels!!! Louboutins, stilettos, pumps, you guys get the deal haha

Health (is this person usually sick? or very resilient?): Physical wise, Georgette is very healthy. She’s extremely into keeping fit, and goes to the gym daily. She has a gymnastics history on her. A talent is needed for pageants and she has been doing gymnastics since very young.

Grooming (does she/he wear makeup? shower daily? wear only clean clothes? pluck her eyebrows?): Georgette never steps out of her place without looking completely immaculate from head to toe. She is hugely into make-up. In fact, she does her own make-up, rarely did she like when make-up artist had to do it for her during photoshoots and/or commercials. There is never a hair out of place or a nail undone. Her clothes are pristine and Georgette showers a lot!!!! Ever since the trauma she can’t find herself clean enough.

Jewelry? Tattoos? Piercings?: The standard two piercings on her ears. Her parents disapproved of anything else. Now, she does have a long dream catcher tattoo that covers her entire right torso. It’s covering a scar she had gotten during the night of the rape. She got it done much to her parents disapproval when she began her spiral. She actually really likes it and ended up getting another tattoo, a star, on her left foot that could sometimes be seen depending on the heel she’s wearing.

Accent?: A New York accent if that counts for anything? But she’s really good at turning it off.

Unique mannerisms/physical habits (bites nails, talks with hands, taps feet when restless): Georgette is very expressive with her hands and talks with them a lot especially when angry. She’s very horrible with having patience (we are working on that haha) and you can tell when she’s reaching her limits because she starts tapping her fingers on the nearest counter. If she’s very nervous, aside from the normal body tensing, Georgette tends to incessantly turn whatever bracelet she has on on her wrist.

Athletic?: Actually, yeah she kind of is haha. Georgette makes an effort to hit the gym daily because she does believe in keeping her body fit. She also has a long gymnastics history behind her. After the trauma, she took up kick-boxing and self-defense classes.

INTELLECT

Level of education (high school drop out, undergrad BA/BS, PhD, MD, etc.): Georgette graduated from Columbia University in New York. She has a bachelor’s degree in Business and Chemistry. Business was more so for her parents who pushed towards making sure she had something such as that under her belt. Chemistry was her own personal choice. Georgette is very into make-up so she became interested in the properties involved with it. She needs to make sure whatever she puts on her skin is healthy and would not cause her damage!!!!!

Level of self esteem: To the public eye, Georgette appears to have an extremely high self esteem. She always has her head up and exudes confidence. She can have a cutting bite to her words when necessary and could appear very full of herself. Inside, however, Georgette feels like extremely used goods, and basically hates herself.

Gifts/talents: Georgette can singggg. Shocker hidden talent there haha. She took singing lessons around the same time she started her gymnastics because she didn’t want to have just one talent to present while doing her pageants. She can actually sing pretty damn good!!!

Shortcomings: Homegirl doesn’t exactly have the best of patience. She can also have quite the temper and be very feisty. She has no problem barking back when the temper hits and Georgette can be pretty spoiled. (It’s some thing that is also being worked on haha)

Style of speech (loud, mumbler, articulate, etc.): Georgette is articulate with her manner of speech, at the same time though when that temper gets spiked the woman can get loud. Rarely does she curse, but again get her angry at just the right angle and she’ll give two flying shits about cursing not being lady-like.

“Left brain” or “right brain” thinker?: Ummm, she’s probably a bit more of a left brain person, but not all the way, so maybe sort of a mix.

Artistic?: Aside from her musical talents in singing, nope not at all. She can appreciate all forms of art, but she can’t draw for shit or do anything along those realms.  

Mathematical?: Now math she is very good at, probably ten times better then me!!!! Which means I’m screwed, but like she majored in Chemistry so that sharpened her math skills tremendously.

Languages? Georgette can fluently speak French, Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian. She knows Latin as well, but you know that’s a dead language soooo. Her parents thought it was very important for her daughter to have a variety of languages under her belt.

Makes decisions based mostly on emotions, or on logic?: Emotions. I really wanted to say logic because she has been raised to do so, so like it’s second nature to her, but Georgette can be very impulsive and will react to emotions in a heartbeat.

Neuroses: None

Life philosophy: If you want something done perfectly, you have to do it yourself.

Religious stance: She doesn’t have a particular stand

Cautious or daring?: Daring. Maybe in the beginning she might have been a little more cautious because she had the media constantly behind her tail, but not really anymore.

Optimist or pessimist?: Probably a bit of both. She’s more so of a realist than anything, at least now she is.

Extrovert or introvert?: Extrovert!!!!

Level of comfort with technology: Very comfortable!!! Georgette basically grew up around technology.  

RELATIONSHIPS

Current marital/relationship status: Single

Sexual orientation: Heterosexual

Past relationships: Georgette has been in a couple of relationships here and there. None lasted super long. She definitely had her flingsss. Her last relationship was her longest and she thought that her ex would be like the #one and yeahhhh umm things went bad haha.

A social person? (popular, loner, some close friends, makes friends and then quickly drops them): Georgette is like a social butterfly. She does love talking to people, especially those that giver her attention hahaha. She’s not so much like that now. She’ll talk to people, yeah, but she keeps a little distant too because of the trauma that she has been through. Plus, she use to be heavy in the media and now that she ran off she’s not trying to have that many people know her.

Most comfortable around (person): Right now she doesn’t know a whole of a lot of people in Swynlake, so she’s probably the most comfortable around Perdita since they were close childhood friends.

Oldest friend: Tiffany is her oldest friend and her best-friend who funnily enough she isn’t speaking too right now haha. Aside from her, her oldest friend would have to be Perdita.

SECRETS

Life goals: Ummmmmmm right now she’s in the process of trying to figure out what exactly that issssss since her life has been turned COMPLETELY upside down. Before though, she wanted to be successful in her pageantry career and then settle down with like the perfect husband and all that jazz. Now she barely believes that there is such a thing as a healthy and sweet, genuine relationship and she finds love to be all bullshit.

Dreams: Georgette’s biggest dream was to become Miss America and even beat her own mother’s run, but it doesn’t seem like that dream will be happening what with everything that has occurred.

Greatest fears: That would currently be that what had happened to her could end up happening again.

Most ashamed of: Georgette’s the most ashamed of the fact that she had listened to her parents when she had returned home after the rape had occurred. She’s ashamed of the fact that she never reported it, never went to the police and essentially allowed a criminal a free card to what had happened to her.

Compulsions: Every time Georgette drinks wine or even champagne, she needs to gently twirl her glass cup three times, or she won’t drink it.

Obsessions: Chocolate, she loves chocolate. Any kind makes her very happy. Georgette is a chocolate addict okay, just like shower her in chocolate!!!!

Secret hobbies: Georgette actually loves scrapbooking!!!!! And she looovvessss dancing.

Secret skills: Georgette is extremely flexible. It stemmed from her gymnastic background, but she’s also double jointed on her arms and legs since she was young. It was the reason her mother had placed her in gymnastics, since Addison realized the potential that could bring for her daughter.

Crimes committed (and was he/she caught? charged?): Let’s seeeeee, well she was never charged for anything. Mommy and daddy Midler were good at paying off who ever needed to get paid to keep things under wraps. She really only started going cray cray after what happened to her. She has driven while drunk, gone skinny dipping, has tried prescription drugs, and ummm anything really stupid that a person would do while being very drunk Georgette has most likely done. Yeeaappp.

What he/she most wants to change about his/her current life: That the night of the rape had never occurred!!!! It ruined her life and Georgette wishes for nothing more then it to be erased from existence.

What he/she most wants to change about his/her physical appearance:Nothing actually, Georgette loves her physical appearance. She finds herself to be divinely beautiful. Errr well we’re having issues with that right now because presently she hates herself and can hardly even look at herself in the mirror because of it, BUTTTTTT before hand pffttt Georgette was like in love with herself hahaha.

DETAILS/QUIRKS

Night owl or early bird?: Night Owl

Light or heavy sleeper?: Heavy

Favorite food: Italian food, anything Italian she loves. She kind of has a guilty pleasure for pizza. I mean NYC does make the best pizza aroundddd, but you know for a rich girl who’s suppose to be eating healthy and whatnot, Georgette would stuff down a pizza asap. Screw eating ettiquteeee.

Least favorite food: Sea food. She does like shrimp though, but other then that Georgette isn’t a fan of any sea type food.

Favorite book: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Least favorite book: The Great Expectations by Charles Dickinson.

Favorite movie: Mean Girls hahahaha I am so mad too that that is her favorite movie

Least favorite movie: She’s not that much of a fan for comedy movies. They hardly ever make her laugh, and half of the time she finds them more pointless then anything.

Favorite song: I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston. Georgette is such 80′s trash when it comes to music.

Least favorite song: Anything that’s basically Heavy Metal. She just has never been able to get into that she feels like it’s all basically screaming.

Coffee or tea?: Coffee annnddd of course Georgette always has some complicated ass order when she asks for a coffee.

Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?: Smooth

Lefty or righty?: Righty

Favorite color: Pink!!!!!!!!!! That shouldn’t even be a question for Georgette hahaha

Cusser?: Georgette was brought up to be an absolute lady hahahaha sighhhhh, buttttt get her angry enough and she’ll forget all of that and will start cursing.

Smoker? Drinker? Drug user?: Never smoked, but she does drink. Drinking has sadly become like a medicine of sorts for Georgette. She isn’t a drug user, but she can’t say she hasn’t tried some prescriptions during parties she has hopped into. Wow Georgette you are a mess…..  

Biggest regret: Georgette’s biggest regret is the same as her biggest shame. She wishes that she would’ve reported her rape, spoken up, ANYTHING. She feels like it’s too late to do anything about it now and it’s a guilt that eats at her a lot!!!

Pets?: She has a POODLE!!!!!! hahahaha I couldn’t resist I’m so sorry!!!!! Her name is Peaches, you know like Georgia peach hahahahahaha sighh I think I’m funny xDD

#knowing georgette #this thing is soo long idk why I found such a long character sheet #let's seee if I actually go around doing this with any of my othersss hahaha

[hinamie]

Omg can you tell us stuff about your ocs? :)

yes always !! pls never be shy to ask abt my children I love them all very much and I am always down to talk about them :’) 

(this is going to get kind of long I can tell u that right now)

Shiro: Male/18/Dragon

My main boy!! I love him!! He’s the one on the far right in this post for photo ref,, don’t let that picture fool you he’s like 5′4. 

About Shiro: His family served the crown so he and his brother were raised as assassins/guards however their training methods were…questionable to put it lightly. So to speak, he’s really powerful but has also killed a lot of people and has a significantly unstable mental state. He and Eden are childhood friends but their relationship has changed drastically over time due to Plot. Between his shitty family, his home being destroyed, his brother dying and Eden’s shenanigans Shiro’s been through a lot but he’s nothing if not resilient. Personality-wise he has a really hard time opening up to people and can be a bit distant and cold but if u can get past all that he’s soft and kind (but could still probably kill you if he wanted to) 

Fun facts: he’s hecka gay for Luca and is scared to death of water after almost drowning as a kid

Luca: Male/18/Human

I haven’t done recent art of him so oops,, he’s got sandy blond hair and the warmest brown eyes u could imagine. soft boy. I’ll draw him eventually. 

About Luca: He’s the second prince of the kingdom that overthrew Shiro’s kingdom so that makes things awkward right off the bat. But it’s ok because Luca’s kingdom also fell and his family was executed and it’s all a big mess so now they have something else in common. Nice. He knows how to fight but he’s an average fighter at best and he’s too quick to spare enemies which gets really annoying really quickly when you’re trying to win a war. Luca’s royal upbringing makes him cool and collected and overall just really pleasant to be around, however it’s probably just a farce and he’s alone and overwhelmed and scared out of his mind, constantly. Give him a hug he needs one. 

Fun facts: a really good doctor!! spent most of his time as a prince hiding from his prince-jobs and helping out in the infirmary 

Eden: Male/18 /Dragon turned demon (immortal, can die but doesn’t age) 

This Asshole,,, I’ve never drawn him either but he’s got coppery-brown hair, tan skin, and golden eyes. (Demons have gold eyes in this world, I make the rules. Eden’s used to be brown) 

About Eden: He wasn’t always this way let me just put that out there. Growing up, his family was really poor so he resorted to stealing and scamming to get by, that’s sort of how he met Shiro. He’s always been really anxious but covers it up with copious amounts of humour, and now he covers it up even more by being a manipulative asshole. Side note, to become a demon a dragon has to give up their name, and therefore give up their shot at the afterlife/reincarnation–most do it in exchange for power + immortality, which is what Eden did to try and protect his siblings. It didn’t exactly work out; they’re dead and Eden’s personality is all over the place and he plays off Shiro’s trauma to get him to do what he wants. Still, every now and then his old self will pop in for a visit and it makes things that much harder tbh. Despite everything, he’s managed to hold on to his humour a bit, maybe his jokes have gotten a little darker and harder to catch but he makes it work. 

Fun facts: all assholery aside, he’s really good at cheap card tricks

Maia: Female/17/Human

Maia’s on the left in this post, again she is much shorter than she looks. She’s the smallest of my ocs lmao she’s like 5 feet even. 

About Maia: I don’t have a lot of her backstory sorted out yet but she and Ronan are twins and used to be part of a circus group before joining up with Luca and co. Her personality is the only big thing about her, she’s fiery and a bit extra but also just a very friendly person in general. Also did I mention that she’s gay as hell? She’s gay as hell. She tends to get a little too caught up in the heat of the moment a lot of the time but she knows how to be serious when it’s needed. She and Luca have your standard “sibling” relationship lmao; they’re either best friends or mortal enemies there is no in between. It’s mostly her being too eager to rush into things and Luca not being eager enough. It’s a nice balance. Long story short: everyone loves Maia. 

Fun facts: when she first saw Shiro she tried to hit on him because she thought he was a girl. 

Ronan: Male/17/Human

Again, no art. It’s a bit easier for me to picture him since I know what Maia looks like already. He’s not terribly tall but not tiny like his sister, maybe 5′6 or 5′7. He’s got a slightly darker skin tone, less freckles, and a more brownish tint to his hair. Same hazel-y gold eyes. 

About Ronan: I feel bad because he is easily my least-developed character. I know next to nothing about him except that he and Maia are a tag team both in their performances and in combat; he’s quite skilled with knives. 

Fun facts: He and Yanmei have such a pure and wholesome platonic relationship I love their dynamic

Yanmei: Female/18/Human

She’s in the middle here! She’s probably the same height as Shiro, if not taller. 

About Yanmei: She’s not super developed either….she escaped from a pleasure house where she was forced to work since she was young; one night she just up and killed one of her clients and ran away. She’s ace as fuck, and very very sex-repulsed. She’s got kind of a strict, disciplined look about her but she’s not nearly as scary as she seems. A big sweetheart.

Fun facts: I haven’t completely worked out the details yet but she can see spirits!!

Lee: Male/19/Human

He’s probably my tallest oc, not so sure how tall. Maybe 6 feet? heck if I know. I should know. He’s got blue eyes, red hair, and a temper to match.

About Lee: If I had to say one thing about Lee it’s that he’s loyal to a fault. He’s decided to dedicate his life to Luca after Luca saved his sick mother’s life when she was on her deathbed. He sees himself as responsible for everything Luca does and will absolutely fight you if you try anything to hurt him, ever. Thing is, he thinks he’s stronger than he actually is and gets kind of quiet and indignant when faced with someone stronger than him. He’s like “I want to fight but I know I’ll lose so I’ll just sit here and brood and glare at you a lot.” That being said, he reeeeally does not like Shiro at all and goes way out of his way to show it. He’s never physically fought Shiro because he doesn’t have a death wish but he absolutely would if he could without dying. 

Fun facts: He can not flirt for the life of him. Maia and Eden exploit this fact daily. 

#answered #oc tag #im so sorry this is so long #anonymous #long post/ #oc info: shiro #oc info: eden #oc info: luca #oc info: yanmei #oc info: maia #oc info: ronan #oc info: lee #oc info #oc info: multiple

[rolandfontana]

Seizing a Second Chance: An Ex-Inmate Brings Hope Back to Her Community

Karen Loftin sits on the edge of the park bench. She tucks a strand of hair back behind her ear, her long, perfectly manicured nails shining in the afternoon sunlight. A gold chain clinks around her neck. She wears a shirt embossed with one bold word — “Confident.”

Turning to the camera, she smiles unwaveringly. After the shutter goes off, she stands up.

“Take a photograph of me near the tree!” she says, her face lighting up with childlike energy. She runs towards a trunk covered in vines.

Karen’s warm demeanor is one of her most striking traits.

I first met her at PEACE Inc.’s Emma L. Johnston Southside Family Resource Center in Syracuse, N.Y. PEACE is a non-profit organization which provides services to the community, one of which is re-entry support for former prisoners and parolees.

Before I met Karen, I was aware she had served some jail time on drug abuse and prostitution charges, but that was the extent of what I knew about her.

A few days after our first meeting, Karen told me about her involvement with PEACE. Over banana bread and coffee, she told me that after being off parole for 16 years, PEACE hired her to work under the Family Reunification Pilot grant. Her job was to work with each former prisoner and parolee and give them specialized support to smooth their transition from prison to family life.

On our way to the center that morning, Karen told me she was HIV positive. She said she had discovered her status more than 25 years ago after the birth of her second child. She told me in the most matter-of-fact way, but shared talking about her disease hasn’t always been this easy because of the stigma that surrounds her condition.

A regular volunteer at the center, Karen helps people in the community living with HIV by showing them how they can effectively manage the disease and stay positive throughout it all.

“Society says once you’re something, you’re always going to be that. There’s no room to change,” Karen said. “That was one thing I have always had to fight through.”

A Rebel At 12

Karen was born in 1965 on the southwest side of Syracuse to a family of seven children. From a young age, she was rebellious and outspoken. At 12, she was smoking marijuana and constantly getting suspended from middle school.

Her childhood was unstable. Her father was abusive towards her mother, but Karen often found herself taking his side when the police showed up at home.

“I was a daddy’s girl,” she said.

This caused deep cracks in Karen’s relationship with her mother that never fully healed. Her mother passed away while Karen was in prison.

“One of my biggest regrets is that I never got the chance to fix things with my mom. No matter what good things I do in my life, that’s one thing I can’t ever fix,” Karen told me in her apartment, one rainy afternoon.

If you come into contact with young people that are struggling, and their dreams have somehow turned, just encourage them to not give up,” says Loftin. Photo by Zachary Krahmer/The Stand

She pointed to a picture of a serious woman with steady eyes. An uncanny resemblance.

“When I look back on my life, I realize she loved me, she cared for me, she supported me, but because of how I was internalizing things, I couldn’t see it that way,” she said.

A few years later, Karen’s mother sent her to live with her dad and his new family in Puerto Rico. Although passing in school was an effortless task for Karen, she felt under-motivated and abandoned.

“I was searching for something. I felt so abandoned at home; I was always in the streets, searching and searching,” she said. “Finding a place where I could be me.”

Karen says she has seen children in her neighborhood who have gone through similar experiences because they feel so misunderstood and neglected.

“The kids internalize these perceptions of who they are and how the world looks at them,” Karen said. “I was one of them.”

After graduating from school with no foreseeable plans for the future, Karen took to the streets. It was there at age 19 that she got into a relationship with a man 10 years her senior.

Karen’s relationship with the man quickly turned abusive after she discovered he was a heavy narcotics user. It was out of shame that she stayed with him, she said.

It was around that time that Karen went to jail for the first time for stealing and cashing checks. She received probation, but violated it at 21. By then, she was doing cocaine, working as a prostitute, cashing checks and doing whatever else she could to support her drug habits, she said.

In 1985, Karen went to county jail, and three years later, served her first prison term. What followed was a series of back and forths in and out of jail. In 1990, Karen’s father passed away and she violated parole. She took off with a man to Connecticut. He ended up becoming the father of her two children.

Karen gave birth to her daughter in 1991 at age 25, and her son in 1994. During this time, HIV was transitioning between gay, white men to intravenous drug users, spreading primarily through shared needles and syringes. Because she was still an active drug user, Karen got HIV tested after each of her pregnancies. The first time, the results came out negative. But the second time, she tested positive.

It was a result that turned her world upside down.

Behind Bars, Again

After discovering her status, Karen had another prison sentence waiting for her. She found herself behind bars, yet again.

Karen wasn’t HIV tested when she entered prison and didn’t end up sharing her status until two years into her sentence.

“I felt like if I could just smoke marijuana in jail and stay under the radar, I’d be fine,” she said. “Telling people about my status would have made me vulnerable. I couldn’t deal with that.”

Karen says during the 1980s, the HIV epidemic was growing at a much faster pace than people could handle. She says she remembers sitting in prison with other women and wondering how they would protect themselves, considering many high-risk groups go to jail.

Shortly after this, the prison Karen started a program to educate and empower women coming in. Karen and her inmates wanted to quell fears about HIV, so they pushed legislation from inside the prison.

Through a close friend she made at the program, Karen met her “guardian angel,” Kathy Bouldin, another prisoner and social activist. Bouldin pushed Karen to disclose her HIV status to the other inmates, as well as become a peer educator for the HIV program.

“Here was this white Jewish woman from Brooklyn telling me all I had was a big mouth, and that I should use it for something good.”

“It was just so funny because I’d grown up being such a black radical — black power this, black power that,” Karen said. “And here was this white Jewish woman from Brooklyn telling me all I had was a big mouth, and that I should use it for something good.”

Under Bouldin’s guidance, Karen became an educator in the program. She helped develop workshops for new inmates. She grew into her position and says she found her calling. But there were difficult times.

Karen recalls one particular support group for female inmates she spent a great deal of time organizing. But when it came time to talk about HIV, the women weren’t interested. They told her they’d rather watch a movie.

“I was so hurt,” Karen said. “I asked them, do you not want this information? And they were like, no, because we got you for that!”

Karen says she remembers going back to Bouldin and crying. Through her tears, Karen had an epiphany.

“You can set everything before some people and they still wouldn’t know what to do with it. Working with the women, I realized because of their circumstances and how they were raised, they actually didn’t know any better,” Karen said. “They needed someone to speak for them. They needed me.”

Karen says forcing people to speak up about what they are facing is not social advocacy.

“I don’t have a problem speaking up and talking about my status because I know people out there that are afraid and they look to me and people like me for empowerment,” Karen said. “But that doesn’t mean they have to pick up a microphone and declare they are positive themselves.”

Returning Home: The Disconnect

A few months after her epiphany, Karen finished her prison sentence and was able to go back to her family.

By this time, her children were already walking and talking. But from the first day, Karen felt an utter disconnect from her son and daughter. Karen says she remembers her children crying because they didn’t want to leave their old home and family behind.

“They might have assumed that everything they learned from the people who had them when they were young was what they should go by,” Karen said.

Loftin, now pursuing a Masters at Syracuse U, hopes to help troubled youth in the community by opening her own resource center. Photo by Saniya More/The Stand

“I felt like any of the values and standards that I was implementing in my household were kind of overlooked, like I was this lady that just came home and got her kids back.”

Time has helped Karen’s relationship with her children, she says. But there are times when she feels like they don’t know each other as a family.

“I still feel like my incarceration is playing a part in our relationship. If I could, I would love to go to therapy with my children, because we never sat down and talked about how me not being in their lives affected them,” Karen said.

“We just never had those conversations.”

Bruce Western, author of “Homeward: Life in the Year After Prison,” examines how incarceration impacts the individual and the family. His recently released book shows how failures of social support trap many fresh out of prison in a cycle of vulnerability despite their best efforts to rejoin society.

The perspectives of women are unique to this study, the author says, with each sharing their specific challenges in reestablishing connections with family, particularly on bonding again with offspring.

“When women enter prison, they have accumulated long histories as victims of sexual and other violence and are also more likely than men to have serious drug problems,” Western writes in his book.

“After prison, they were much more likely than men to be living with family. Finding work was a leading challenge for men after incarceration, but for women employment often took a back seat to staying clean and rebuilding family relationships.”

A few weeks after Karen and I started talking, I met her 23-year-old son Joshua Loftin. I wondered if he felt the same disconnect with his mother.

We meet on the first floor of Bird Library on the Syracuse University campus. He’s wearing a Syracuse sweatshirt and tells me Karen dropped him off. He has her smile.

He tells me about finding out his mother is HIV positive.

“We were in the car, I was about 9 or 10. My mom was talking to my older sister about it, but I didn’t understand what was doing on, so I asked,” he said. “I remember feeling like nothing had changed in that moment. It didn’t matter. This was the only mother I was gonna get, and this was the only mother I wanted.”

Karen says her relationship with her parents has, more than anything, shown her what kind of parent she does not want to be. Raising children after going through incarceration presented its own challenges, though, and Karen rarely discussed her prison experiences or her status with her children.

“I didn’t want to overwhelm them,” she said.

Joshua said Karen only really started to open up about her experiences after he started going to community outreach events with her.

After discovering his mother’s status, Joshua went through a period where he blamed himself for it. Because Karen found out she was HIV positive after he was born, he felt like it was his fault she was living with the condition. He has gotten over it over the years, he says, but it’s still hard sometimes.

“She would sometimes come to our school and talk, and she’d ask my sister and I, ‘Am I embarrassing you at all?’ We would always say ‘not at all. This is what helps you. You’re teaching others. Teaching us; teaching yourself,’” Joshua said.

“I don’t want her to feel like she can’t tell her story because of the way I felt back then.”

Karen says one of the hardest things about parenting has been to ensure her children don’t take to the streets like she once did. At the same time, Karen is wary of stopping them from living their own lives.

“I never wanted my children to think I was afraid of them turning out to be like me,” Karen said. “I want them to grow into themselves.”

Joshua says that at times, he feels that Karen expects unrealistic things from him — expectations he doesn’t think he can live up to, like getting a specific job or living life a certain way.

“She pushes and pushes and pushes,” he tells me. “Growing up, I felt like I wasn’t the golden child that she wanted me to be.”

But Joshua says he understands where his mother comes from. He says he is incredibly proud of how far she has come, even if they bump heads often.

“She can heat up quicker than me,” he says with a laugh. “I know she’s been through way more though, that’s probably why.”

The Stigma of Prison

When Karen left prison about 20 years ago, she faced a lot of stigma, especially when it came to job-hunting.

Since then, she says society has become much more understanding of a person’s criminal history, even though people like her still face discrimination every day, particularly because of their race, gender and HIV status.

“The African-American community continues to dominate the top of every negative list,” Karen said. “Local leaders are somewhat negligent when it comes to addressing the needs of black people.”

Loftin with Nicky Jennings, the PrEP Education Specialist at Upstate, co-hosted a talent showcase in April to give local teens a space to perform and to provide HIV awareness education. Photo courtesy The Stand.

Karen says state-funded grants like the one PEACE received, and which is still under review for renewal, aren’t always designed to help the community.

“It all comes down to politics,” she said.

She says working in some sort of human service capacity is the perfect job for someone who has just left prison, because many organizations are looking for people who can form meaningful connections with members of the community going through similar problems. It is also a way for ex-prisoners to redeem themselves by improving their community.

“We need to be willing to seize whatever opportunities we can find, rather than wait to be given them,” Karen said. “By being the generation before them, we started this problem and it’s going to take us to fix it.”

Structural reform is a much-needed development in Syracuse, particularly when it comes to prison management and community outreach, Karen says.

“There is a need for therapeutic assistance, community outreach and counseling, especially for young adults about to move away from home,” Karen said. “This is when they develop their perceptions of the world and their place in it. After that, their way of life is set and it’s harder to change them.”

Not too long after getting involved in PEACE, Karen enrolled at Syracuse University and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in child and family studies in 2017. Her degree sits in her living room, illuminated by the lamp next to it. It’s a source of great pride for her.

Karen hopes to use her degree to start her own youth center in the future. She believes there needs to be more centers that provide emotional support and resources for Syracuse’s youth — a place where children from troubled households can feel safe and appreciated.

Through her youth center, Karen hopes to instill a renewed sense of togetherness in her community. Her primary goal is to focus on youth and family development — strengthening relationships between children and their parents.

Gazing at the hail that has unexpectedly started to fall outside her window, I ask Karen if she plans to stay in Syracuse forever.

She smiles for a moment. “I’m here for now,” she answers.

“I recently asked an old friend of mine who owns a business here, why are you still here?” she shared. “You know what he told me? If everyone left, there’ll be no one to keep this town running, and the kids in this community are going to suffer,” she said.

Finding Herself

When Karen was little, she struggled with her dark complexion. It was a source of great insecurity for her.

“One of those days, I remember my grandma pulling me onto her lap and telling me ‘God makes no mistakes. No one is better than you in the eyes of God, but always remember, you’re not better than anyone either,’” she said.

Karen’s confidence is something she has developed over time, and she is well aware that people have judged her and will perhaps never stop judging her.

One of the last times we meet, I ask her what she would say to people who made assumptions about her. She doesn’t think twice before responding.

“I probably wouldn’t say anything,” she said. “I’ve never been one to try and convince someone that I’m someone I’m not. I’ve definitely made some mistakes in my life, and I might agree with some things people say and disagree with others, but I’m not going to have that conversation. It’d be a waste of time.”

Instead, Karen has a message for the whole world.

“If you come into contact with young people that are struggling, and their dreams have somehow turned, just encourage them to not give up,” she says, looking directly into the video camera recording her.

“I think that’s an important thing we can all do.”

Watch a Video of Karen Loftin

See also Part One of the series, ‘The Day I Came Out of the Shadows’

This is a condensed and slightly edited version of a story published in The Stand, a community newspaper produced in Syracuse, N.Y., in partnership with S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications. Ashley Kang, director of The Stand, is a 2018 John Jay/H.F. Guggenheim Justice Reporting Fellow. Readers’ comments are welcome.

Seizing a Second Chance: An Ex-Inmate Brings Hope Back to Her Community syndicated from https://immigrationattorneyto.wordpress.com/

[thelostandforgottenangel]

Background (FINALLY!!)

This is everything you need to know about the AU I write from... took me a while but here it is

 My Alternate Universe follows a similar timeline to the 2014/16 movies but unlike that it differs in many ways, the turtles are a bit older and differ in age –this is due to having to replace subjects due to one or all passing from not being able to survive the shots they were given, work side by side with the cops after the Krangg invasion, they have a baby sister who they not only saved but was raised alongside them by Master Splinter  

  v  Before anyone points it out the AU does have several different story timelines it follows – Raven was saved by Raph in one having found her alone in the sewers, in another he snuck up to the surface without permission and stumbled across the scene where two people were being harassed by the Foot in the end the little girl watches the men murder her mother as the young turtle tries to stop it… then there is one where the turtles never find the little girl and instead she grows up on the streets where she’s homeless and hunted by not only the Foot but also the Purple Dragons, in this timeline Raven saves Raphael from freezing to death after he’s hurt in a fight

v  I do tend to write poly relationships/one on one relationships

v  The OC Raven was originally from a book I was writing back in High School – in it she is a mutant who can absorb abilities (Like Rouge only the ability becomes hers making her dangerous to everyone around her) as a child she absorbed her guardian angel and the she fox who killed her making her the embodiment of something similar to the ying yang – beautifully innocent yet deadly, after that she is forced to carry a demon within her that tends to take over from time to time, so I did mutate her in one of my series where Sacks scientist actually force fox DNA into her with the mutagen and since in the AU the teenager has the DNA of a small species of turtle it mixes bad becoming unstable and creates a monster she struggles to control (Same as in the book)

 Enemies include:  Shredder and the Foot clan, General Krangg, Hun and the Purple Dragon’s

 The turtles have several allies other than April O’Neal, Vern, and Casey Jones, this world also includes Leatherhead who lives off in a substation close to where their original lair existed down by the docks (So far they have had four homes in their lives), they also have a few other human allies which includes a blind man that runs a thrift store with his wife and daughter where the family get most of their newer cloths Raven fixes for them, a girl who works at a pizza shop and Chinese restaurant that coexist in the same building who gives them the leftovers they are going to throw out, and a few homeless people who stay near where their bridge exit – not including the NYPD

 Leatherhead met the turtles when they rescued him from a lab the Foot were operating out of, the massive croc has a uncontrollable rage point that erupts without warning and much like the turtles he doesn’t trust humans, they found him a home where he could be safe and no human’s would be able to get near his home on the other side of the abandoned tunnels never thinking a human would actually go there willingly – also forgetting a certain teenage girl happened to go hang out in those tunnels from time to time

The first time Raven runs into the croc she is wondering around and steps into his lair without knowing she was in danger

Giving she’s never feared her family she doesn’t move a muscle when what she originally thought was Raphael turned out to be a giant mutant crocodile man, she attempts to calm him before he attacks her - she gets hurt trying to outrun him knowing the sewers far better than him she slips away by taking a tunnel only to slam right into the mutant once again just as one of her brother’s comes to rescue her having heard the screams

The turtles had mentioned they had a little sister but had never thought the two would meet but after she had apologized for trespassing in his home the two somehow became the best of friends

Leatherhead having been raised in the labs is incredibly smart and enjoys spending time in Donatello’s lab while visiting his friends if he’s not hanging out with Mikey or being spoiled by Raven who makes him tons of food while he is there

Although the croc his bigger then the turtles he his only a few years older then the teen girl

 The first lair was down a few miles from the docks where the turtles and Splinter lived until they were old enough to move without the rat having to carry them, the second lair (Lair we see in the first movie) was destroyed by the foot and Shredder, the third was a station that was long forgotten where they stayed for a year before finding their current home where they have been for five years

This Lair is massive having three levels underground and an above ground Garage where they keep their vehicles so they don’t disturb their father while working on them or heading out late at night.

The main parts of the lair are all in one large room decorated like an underground amusement park equipped with a water slide with smaller rooms built up off to the sides including the huge kitchen, a dojo, a weight room, the lab and needle room reside off to the back where they have a TV room and a rear exit, Splinter’s garden room that connects to his bedroom, and a small bathroom right under the stairs.

Each of the turtles have their own room set up the way they like upstairs of the home overlooking the den and dining area, a separate set of stairs goes to an underground area where there is a pool and basking area for hot summer days and showers in a separate area set up like a locker room

 The ages of the turtles vary depending on when I’m writing so per usual I try to write them when they were teens but most storied are going in their early twenties. Ages for the turtles range in stories from 10, 12, 15, (18 – 26 ç the most) and as always Leo is oldest followed by Raph, then Donnie, and Mikey is the baby of the brothers

 Leonardo – The oldest

Leonardo was the only baby turtle from the original first four to survive the mutagen shots where as his sisters from the clutch never hatched

As a toddler this sweet boy clung to Splinter just as much as his baby brother and was the first to show his true personality

 The blue banded ninja is the same loveable yet anal older brother we all adore, but he is much stricter than most people are used too and tends to sound extremely cold even if he doesn’t mean too at times/he can come off as a jerk which he tries to avoid.

As the oldest and the leader of the clan he carried a lot on his shoulders even if his younger siblings try to help him he’s not too keen on letting them

He was the first of his brother’s to be allowed to go with Splinter on junk runs since he was very obedient to his father’s orders even if he had a small tendency to goof off from time to time

He tends to argue with Raphael over everything from why he’s leader to why the hotheaded turtle can’t go out to the surface most days, he leads the team in practice and training daily, spends a good portion of his days training, improving his katas, and meditating

He tries to loosen up from time to time so he’s not always the serious turtle that constantly has a perpetual stick up his ass, on those days he plays video games with Mikey or works out with Raph getting into competitions with his brother that he tends to lose at, sometimes if Donnie has a lot on his plate he will go and help with smaller projects

Leo can’t cook even though he tries to much to his siblings dismay, he is skilled in sewing, loves to read and tends to try new things to see if he likes them every other month

 Raphael – Second oldest

Raphael was the only surviving hatchling from the next clutch of eggs due to the others fell ill and died within the first two months due to poor diets, he was left in his tank alone and fell ill of a broken heart shortly after his brothers and sister died, looking as if he would pass too April O’Neal placed him in with the older baby turtle hoping he would be comforted if he did perish – instead Raphael got better and when he took to Leonardo the scientist kept him in the tank to be sure he wouldn’t fall sick again.

Do to the trauma of losing his siblings early on the turtle became protective of Leo, Donnie, and Mikey once they were in the tank not allowing anyone except April and her father to pick them up

As a rambunctious toddler Raphael was the more curious wonderer so Splinter had to find a playpen to keep him and Donnie in so they didn’t run off until he found a heating lamp then the rowdy tot was never far from it always basking if he wasn’t playing

 As the biggest turtle he comes off as intimidating and has the temper and attitude to back it up but around his family he is more laid back. As the second oldest he butts heads with his brothers – mostly Leonardo several times a day due to they are both alphas and only a few months apart in age – but it’s more to just keep the leader on his toes then to be an ass

Raphael spends a good portion of his day lifting his weights, breaking his punching bag, making repairs around the lair, working in the garage, or wondering around the sewers if he’s not in his room or screwing with Leo

Raphael is actually the one who saved Raven when he was only ten bringing her home and caring for the girl while she was weak

The red masked turtle is quite the handy man so it takes a lot off what Don has to do in the lair when it comes to furniture being broken or having to repair pipes other than the electronics from time to time, he also enjoys working in the garage on his motorcycle when he needs some alone time… this tends to happen more than ever when you have three brothers that piss you off on a regular bases

At night if the brother’s don’t go out for patrol or have an easy night he sneaks out to meet Casey to ride bikes and patrol the city

v  And yes because I’m a sucker for it he does dress up as Nightwatcher without his family knowing to go out and fight crime, I had to give the hothead a motorcycle for him to ride but in actuality he had 2-3 he works on

He tries to not show it but he’s very protective of his family and cares for his brothers a lot , especially his two younger siblings, and as mean and off putting as he tried to come off he’s still a giant teddy bear with a really big heart that comforts the others when needed

Raphael loves knitting, carving little wooden figures, and cooking. He has his own play system in his room with his own TV but Mikey doesn’t mind him playing him on the one in the den if he’s not pumping weights

 Donatello – Third Oldest

Donnie was actually the only egg to be brought in for the next test probably because it was the only one they could find so late in the season, he was perfectly healthy to their surprise.

When placed in the tank with Leo and Raph he didn’t take to them right away tending to stay far away from the two other males who were inseparable but given time Raph wouldn’t leave him alone and started dragging him around the cage by his carapace when he would retract into his shell to hide from them taking him to the food where the other two stayed sitting there with the turtle until he came out to eat, afterwards the third turtle was never far from the others

Even at these ages he showed higher than normal intelligence able to find ways to escape their tanks

By the time he was a toddler he was already interested in things having created their first toy from scrap parts until they had a car that drove around the home on its own it acted at a motivation in getting his baby brother to crawl as he chased it

 Our sweet purple banded genius is still a genius so I didn’t change him by much

Donnie spends every waking hour in his lab if he’s not training, having to fix the security systems that surround their liar, or repairing the things his brothers break every other day, he also has three areas inside their home that belong to him

The Lab, his computer station, and his room

He’s a coffee addict so Leonardo and Master Splinter have set a limit on his caffeine intake although being Donnie he has his own coffee pot hidden in the lab so he still drinks more then he’s supposed to, his siblings constantly have to pull him from the lab to eat if they don’t just bring his food to him otherwise he would forget completely

The genius and his family built onto their home over the years so because of that each of the turtles now have their own rooms and a portion of the lair that belongs to them separately

Donatello created the lair from top to bottom making all their electronics, appliances, ect. So he tends to joke when Leo tries to boss him around

 Michelangelo – Youngest

Mikey sadly was the only egg in his clutch of ten to survive but was born sick due to he had a twin that had died in the egg while inside with him, because he was the only egg to survive in over a year they cared for him round the clock until he was well enough to be placed in the tank with the other three turtles even though he was too small to fend for himself but never had too.

It was instant that the other three became protective of the tiny turtle caring for him

Because he was so tiny he liked to ride around on his brother’s shells while they wondered around the tank of hide under them while they were standing

The scientist had a hard time getting the smallest turtle away from his brothers since they were always huddled around him, Raphael and Leonardo brought the youngest two plenty of food before they would eat while Donatello would lie beside him protectively until the older two were back from their bowl

It was because of how territorial the older three were that they were all placed in separate tanks that sat side by side in a square so they could all see one another allowed to be in the same tank while April was in the lab playing with them

 Michelangelo is our little prankster/skater boy

This loveable little turtle is just as we have always seen him - he can be the biggest pain in Raphael’s butt wreaking Donnie’s lab like a tornado joking off in the dojo while Leo’s trying to continue training but still somehow being that innocent angel in his father’s eyes all in the same ten minutes

Because of how small he was when he hatched Mikey is smaller than his brothers – this is more of his size then age but it makes it easy to see he’s the baby brother in all aspects

When he’s not messing with his brothers or getting one somebody’s nerves Mikey spends a good portion of his time either playing video games, reading his comics, or tagging the lair with his art while nobody’s paying him any mind – he has even done a wall in each of his siblings rooms in honor of something he loves about them making a memorial for each room

When it comes that time of year the orange banded turtle is the one to start the parties, planning the biggest bashes with the help of their sister they never fail to impress weather it’s a birthday party of Christmas

Mikey has the potential to be better than his older brothers, he’s much faster, skilled, and the shortness comes in handy he’s too laid back to really try

 Raven – the baby

She’s a curvy yet slim beauty with pale porcelain skin, long black curly locks she wears in a bun of ponytail at all times, and emerald green eyes, she’s only 5’6 so she’s constantly teased for being short by her brothers, the young girl hasn’t always been with the mutant family

She was abandoned in the sewers when she was very young and somehow survived on her own for months before stumbling upon Raphael while he was out blowing off steam after a fight with Leonardo, she followed the turtle from a distance curious about him until he realizes she’s there. She hides in a tunnel when he turns but doesn’t try to run from him when he came to investigate only to find a sick and thin form

He rushes her to Donatello who had recently started learning everything he can from several medical books after finishing the physics and the thesaurus collections Master Splinter has found him while scavenging threw a junk yard or walking past a dumpster. She’s really sick and they all expect her to never make it but a few days later she’s just as active as any normal child would even though she’s still ill

It was guessed Raph had to have been the only person she had seen in a long time but for a child she looks at them as if they are no different from the tiny human girl and the longer they are around the child the more they learn about the strange child their brother brought home

At first glance the girl seems like any normal kid – curious about everything she sees and gets into, she loves to watch them while they play games or sits close by while they are watching movies, after a while she goes to them sitting in their laps as they read or watch cartoons… Then come the day they find she is far from normal

Raven hates enclosed or tiny spaces unless she finds one she likes, has major abandonment issues, and more surprising to the family the girl hates humans more than her fear of snakes

By the age of five Splinter lets her join in with the turtles in their practices but doesn’t start fully training her until she is twelve when he comes home from a walk to sees her playing with a broom stick like it was a bo or a sword sparring with her brothers as they practice their team attacks, he stays back watching the girl holding her own against the turtles who at that time were teenagers – seeing the potential she has he started her training pushing her just as hard as he does his sons

  Hope everyone finds this informative and enjoyed it

#tmnt 2016 #backstory #teenage mutant ninja turtles #au