#it's definitely tied to social anxiety

[sluttyten]

Romantic/dating anxiety is definitely a thing (to me). I just steed into the dating world for the first time last year at the ripe age of 26 and when I tell you I’ve been anxious every time I’ve matched with someone/received a message complimenting me before we can even have a conversation/agreed to a date… it’s intense to say the least but I believe in us!

Definitely definitely a thing, like I’ve managed to give myself a decent stomachache just by overthinking this since it happened.

I don’t know what to do lmao because I have 0 experience, and like I just texted my best friend about, I shoot down every person that ever asks for my number or shows interest in me but then I also literally am always like…. looking for someone to be interested in me, but also like as soon as I know for sure they’re interested I don’t want them to be, and also I think I just feel awkward if the person is younger than me, so like when one of my coworkers clearly had a crush on me but he was like 5 or 6 years younger than me so I felt that was weird, and then this guy I don’t even know how old he is either so like that feels fucking awkward to me because nobody ever thinks I am my age, which right now I’m 27 😭 and the other day a girl I work with thought I was 23, which is a compliment but also like I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone that much younger than me 😭😭

#asks #I definitely have social anxiety to some extent though #like literally even the idea of going and hanging out with my best friend half the time I want to cancel and we’ve known each other for #like 12 years by this point if not actually 13 years #and then there’s my friends I’ve actually made at work I always get nervous to hang out with them even tho I see them all the time at work #and I genuinely like them as people #but I don’t fucking know 😭😭 I don’t know what I want and I’ve tied myself into a ball of anxiety so I just want to go home and shower and #curl up in bed except that I also had kinda made plans with my mom to go to target today #ALSO though like if I do respond and if this guy does ask me out on a date this week would be a good time #because since I live at home and since my parents (specifically my mom) are kinda overprotective and since I’ve never been into dating I #feel like they’ll ask me a million questions if I mention a guy or going on a date with a guy #and they’re gonna be gone this week so if I was to go out it would be the perfect chance to go without having to answer questions #but honestly 😂😂 that makes me nervous too #I need to text him back because since he’s a regular and since I work regular hours he’s probably got a general idea of the hours I work #which is also mildly weird to me #I overthink everything btw #I’m stressed 😭😭

[toskarin]

do you think capitalism invented spoilers to sell movie tickets?

I don't think it invented them, no, but I do think that it invented spoiler culture, which is a whole other thing

spoilers as a concept are intrinsically tied to the concept of properties as events, which is to say things like serial releases and movies

spoiler culture is born here, emerging from how companies reacted to the (obvious) observation that avoiding spoilers could be a point of FOMO, forcing people to see things in theatres instead of waiting for them to become available in cheaper formats (or further away from the highly measurable box office window of success)

telling someone how something ended while they were still going through it was always annoying, but making a release into an event that requires active participation to experience something "unspoiled" is definitely an artificially enhanced version of an organic anxiety

I'd go as far as saying that a big part of streaming's insistence on batch releases comes from a conscious drive to force customers into maintaining (not just sometimes having) an active subscription, or else they might run the risk of missing out on a significant shared social experience

missing one episode of something is bad, but if you can't talk about [show] in the first week it releases, you'll be spoiled on the full season and miss out on a significant participatory aspect that everyone else got to experience. even worse, it's all over in a few days, so you have to buy now

[talkbycolor]

I deserve this

A/N; at this point its obvious that i inspire in rebzyyx songs

Pairing; "Your Boyfriend" x AFAB!Reader (cus people are scared of the word trans)

CW; reader becomes willing at the end i swear / unhealthy, obsessive and possesive love / sensitive topics such as mental health, depression, anxiety, fear of abandonment, dissociation, suicidal thoughts / a crazy concept: he talks about his emotions!! / non-con, violence, like, i cry while i masturbate

It's quite blurry trying to remember how it all started, it seemed harmless to accept a date from a stranger, he gave you a beautiful rose and was quite kind to you.

Feeling that people could like you, that someone could be romantically interested in you, because of who you are, your personality, that they knew your… desires?

Because you had dreams, of course.

…

Your dream was to live, to live a quiet life, a stable, pleasant job, with good pay, a normal and peaceful life, where the deep emptiness in your heart was non-existent, years had passed and the monotonous feeling did not disappear, you had already accepted the pain, after all, if you felt that constantly it was probably because you did something wrong at some point, right?

But that was a personal dream that would never be shared.

And it's not like that matters now, not when you're in… A room, that's funny, your last memory is of Peter slamming you against the table to tie your limbs since their last date didn't end as expected and It was time to go home.

Return to an empty home, for what? Peter was more than willing to take care of you, why was he so scary? Accepting it would have made things easier, but you ruined everything by trying to run away, you even fought tooth and nail, that was too pathetic now that you remember it, maybe you DO deserve all the shit that is happening.

You could have saved yourself so much terror and attacks.

"PETER ENOUGH! PLEASE! LET ME GO! NO! NO! FUCK, PLEASE!" You tore out your throat with terrified screams and tried to claw at his skin until your fingers were bloody, biting the hands that tried to stop your screams, hitting his face with your elbows and kicking him away, crawling like a dying animal away from him. "PETER!" You sobbed sharply before losing consciousness.

But nothing worked, resisting only made all that shit worse and now you were tied up, in Your boyfriend's old clothes.

You barely remember how you got to that place, or if time passed, anyway that doesn't matter anymore, from one day to the next you find a very small piece of clothing that turned out to be yours, time passed, your body grew but your mind didn't, they keep lying but you know that your life will depend on how well you do it.

And you're not doing it right, you tried to adopt toxic happiness but you couldn't even maintain it for a while before exploding, sadness was already an everyday thing and you just weren't feeling it anymore.

"Dear?"

Just peace please, how hard could that be? It was annoying, you even felt angry for feeling so empty, because people were so rude and the constant rejection killed you socially.

It was hard to breathe, wasn't it?

"Love? Do you hear me?"

It feels like the end, your soul is bleeding, you wish your stupid job made you feel a little more alive and motivated to continue.

And now you have done so many things to escape from that monster that pulls you back to the room to devour you under the bed.

"Darling!" Your boyfriend's voice echoed through the room, making you look at him once and for all, your eyes tired despite having been unconscious most of the time.

"…" You wanted to respond, really, but what were you supposed to say?

"You must be exhausted, you didn't even touch dinner" It was a tricky phrase, he had tried to feed you since you were tied up.

"Peter-…"

"I already told you that I prefer to be called other way, honey" He responded with a smile and a definitely not irritated tone.

"I want to sleep" He left your lips, he was being so caring, taking care of your health.

He kidnapped you.

And you couldn't even thank him for it.

He knocked you out.

You really were an ungrateful shit, weren't you?

He locked you up.

You wanted to return the signs of affection.

Soon the ropes left your body, Peter helped you stand up and you both walked to the bedroom, he was still carrying a small plate with a light dinner, he refused to let you go to bed without having eaten dinner.

Once in bed, he made sure that you had a proper dinner, and he helped you change your clothes so that you would be comfortable in bed, he also did the same with his attire and now you were both lying down. It always made your stomach churn when he looked at your half-naked body.

"Dear" He murmured next to you while you tried to sleep as soon as possible, so many things had happened those last few days that the only way out was to sleep, you had probably already been fired from your job for not showing up. "Honey, love, darling," he said sweetly as his hand went up to your cheek, he simply looked at you with a huge and probably painful smile on his face, almost tattooed, you made him so happy with your mere presence.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, your mind still cloudy enough to refuse anything, so you just went up to kiss him, the room was very dark and there weren't even crickets echoing at night, the amount of silence was overwhelming… of course, that didn't count the lip-smacking they shared.

So it continued.

For a long time.

"Pet-…uhm, I mean, honey, I'm tired and I want to sleep" You interrupted the honey session.

"Please, you don't have to do anything, just let me love you, darling" his voice was soft, soothing to that darkness but not to the painful weight in your heart and the knot in your stomach, his touches felt strange.

You know that's wrong, you don't like it.

You didn't stop him, just like he said, you let him love you as you closed your eyes and a buzzing sound echoed in your head, like television static, your bottom clothes had disappeared, but that didn't matter.

You couldn't hear anything, you didn't see anything, your body reacted but your mind was very far from that place, you wandered through your memories, fantasies of a life you were never going to have.

It was really digging into your cunt, huh? Even when your mind wanted to flee somewhere else, it was undeniable how he held your thighs and you gasped heavily with each thrust.

His member was still dripping his seed, did he use protection? You don't know, you don't care.

It doesn't matter.

B e cau se s oon y o u w il l b e d ea d.

"Honey? Didn't you enjoy it?" Peter asked with a worried frown.

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you no longer have respect for yourself? You know it's going to hurt you.

Don't you mind dying? You lost hope and you don't even try to help yourself anymore, damned and pathetic attempt at being human, really unnecessary.

"Honey…" Peter caressed your cheeks and brought his forehead to yours, sighing softly and carrying your body to the bathroom in the room.

You didn't say anything either, you just felt how it was cleaning your body, the water was warm, the bathtub full of bubbles, and it smelled pretty good, like coconut soap. Peter hummed quietly as he treated your body with the utmost affection, you were sure he was whispering things in your ear but you were barely aware of your surroundings.

When your eyes finally focused on something you could see the ceiling of the room thanks to the moonlight, Peter was behind you, hugging your body, caressing your hair, and sniffing the soapy fragrance.

"You are so sweet, so unique, so kind, so special to me, a truly exceptional person, I will do everything to make you feel comfortable, darling, I love you so much, my adorable-…"

"Peter"

"… Yes love?" This time he didn't argue about that name, you were finally talking and that was good.

"I'm sorry I feel so alone, I know you're here but…" You wish you could give him an answer but that was something even you hadn't figured out yet.

"It's okay, honey, I'll be with you to hold you, forever."

♡

#yandere x reader #your boyfriend #yandere visual novel #yandere #your boyfriend peter #yb x y/n #yb game #yb peter #your boyfriend x reader #smut #tw noncon #afab reader

[numinously-yours]

Pick a pile: Where will you be in 3, 6, and 12 months?

Looking back at my poll from a couple of weeks ago, there were three topics tied for second place. One of them is this one: Where will you be in 3, 6, and 12 months?

For this reading, I looked at your current energy. If you're not sure which pile is for you, please feel free to read that part first! Then, I went through and provided insight on where you'll be/what you'll be focused on at the 3-month, 6-month, and 12-month increments of the next year. The write ups are a bit longer than usual, so I apologize in advance for pile 3 & 4 for having to scroll a bit longer lol

Current Energy: The Moon

At this current time, it feels like you are in an energy of “almost”. You have something in your mind that you think makes a good idea/proposal. Your gut tells you that you should go for it, but your anxiety is holding you back from taking the leap. You may be remembering a time in the past where you went for something big and it didn’t work out. You’re worried this may happen again and you don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment.

3 – Page of swords, Knight of cups

In three months time, you’re going to be on an enthusiastic, creative, and passionate adventure. There is something you are hoping to share with the world! In the months leading up to this, new ideas are going to be brewing. How can you best share your passion with others? What is a fun and new way to present your idea? Continue brainstorming these ideas and you’ll have a good basis of where to start when the time comes.

6 – Eight of wands

After a few more months of getting your idea up and running (6 mo. total) , you are really going to see movement and action. There may have been a few bumps along the way as you perfected the execution of your ideas above, but things seem to be smoothing out. I think that around this time, you’ll have a really solid foundation of where you want this project to go. As you see the rewards of your work, you may even want to begin expanding.

12 – Four of wands, Wheel of fortune

Finally, a year from now, you’re going to feel really fulfilled. What I love is that the wheel of fortune came up in this time frame specifically. The Wheel is about karma and life cycles – it makes me think that at this time next year you’re really going to feel like you’ve come full circle in whatever project you’ve just taken on. The four of wands is all about celebration, harmony, and relaxation. An amazing and overwhelming sense of “I did it!” is definitely coming through here. Congratulations on whatever you’re up to, pile 1. It’s going to be amazing 😊

Current energy - Knight of pentacles rev. and Seven of cups rev.

You are feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Based on the cards that came out for your timeline, I think it likely has to do with your social circle/relationships. Maybe you’re the foundation of the group and you’re starting to become tired of being everyone’s support (like, actual exhaustion, not just “sick of it”) or you feel like you’re the one who is continually left out. You are trying to figure out what to do about it but feel stuck. I also can’t stop thinking that some of you are students – either graduating HS this year and starting college in the Fall, transferring schools, or starting a new career closely after graduation. This might not be all of you, but I was called to make that note.

3 – Three of cups reversed

You’re going to venture on your own pretty soon here, number two. Where the three of cups upright is about community, celebrating with friends, etc., the reversal indicates that you need some alone time. It’s okay if you don’t feel like you’re really clicking with your people anymore. Even though it can suck, you must do what is best for you. And I think that means seeing who you are, without the influence of others. There is a small indication of overindulgence, specifically when it comes to lifestyle changes. While it’s important to find yourself, please remember to do it smartly and healthily.

6 – Six of cups, page of cups

Taking the time to find yourself is going to bring you to your six-month point. At this point in time, I think you’re going to have a pretty good idea of who “you” are. You’re going to be more in tune with your intuition & higher self. You have a clearer idea of the future – or at least you are getting more and more comfortable with the unknown. Taking this time for yourself was really important and I’m happy that you’re going to do it. It is going to teach you the beauty of curiosity, it’s going to remind you that your inner child is still within you and deserves fun, and it’s going to teach you that the past is the past and the only way forward is continuing to move ahead.

12 – Ten of coins, The Devil

The main message from these two cards comes from the ten of coins. This next year is going to teach you SO much about yourself. At this time next year, you’ll look back feel like your personal journey was absolutely worth it. You feel more abundant and much more confident that your future ahead is bright. The Devil, I think, is here as another reminder to not get ahead of yourself or start to feel conceited because of your journey. You may feel tempted to rub your success in the faces of that social circle you left, but that is not going to be beneficial to you. Let your success make YOU happy. You can absolutely share the success, but not as a way to shame the others who had previously let you down.

Current Energy – The Emperor and Playday rev.

Playday is a specific card to this deck and, for some reason, there’s not any info on what the card was meant to represent. But hey, that’s all part of the tarot reading process! Since it came into reverse, my initial thought is that you haven’t had many opportunities to have playday. I asked the deck for a standard tarot card to clarify and the Emperor came out at that time. In your current energy, you feel an obligation to take of others and be a foundation for them. Some of you are likely parents or caretakers. Others feel like you have to be “the strong one”. In your eyes, there is no time for play because there is too much to be done and there are too many people who need you.

3 – Three of coins rev., Five of cups

I think it’s been your goal for some time to focus on self-care. And I think that you’re going to continue to try for the next three months. There is this sense that you wish others would take care of you for once, but you’re “stuck” taking care of yourself AND trying to take care of them at the same time. You wonder why you have to be on the journey of self-care alone. You might get to this three-month period and wonder what the point of self-care is if you don’t even feel better.  I’m here to remind you that ANY progress in taking care of yourself is good progress! The fact that you are THINKING about how you deserve to be taken care of is a good thing! It means you know your worth. Unfortunately, I don’t think the three-month period is going to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside but!! (see your six-month overview for more)

6 – The Chariot

Although the road to self-care has been HARD, you really WILL feel your rewards soon. By the six-month period, you’re going to feel some success. You’ll see that you have the willpower to take care of yourself instead of dropping everything to help everyone else, you’ll have the determination to hold your boundaries, and you’ll have the strength to remember that it only gets better from here. Boundary setting is coming out the strongest as the thing you’ll progress with the most. There will be tests that challenge this and sometimes the boundaries will come down, but you will more consistently BELIEVE you deserve the boundaries. It’s going to be an empowering time for you, group three! I’m just sorry it has to be the six month check point lol

12 – Five of swords rev., Ace of swords, Eight of swords (clarified by Sunrise, also a deck specific card!)

At this time next year, you’re going to be so proud of yourself. This makes my heart happy <3 There are still some times where people challenge your boundaries and try to take advantage of your genuine heart, but you’re finally at a point where you feel confident saying no. If/when this happens, you’ll reflect over this past year and see how far you’ve come. This will remind you of all of the hard work you did to get here and that it is not worth going back to feeling the way you did before (aka right now). You can ABSOLUTELY still be a person who provides a solid foundation for others, but not at the expense of yourself. Your mental state is going to feel soo much more clear. Each day you’ll realize something new about yourself, your needs, and how YOU can help yourself get there. This is really going to be a turning point in your mindset. AH I’m just so excited for you! Finally, with the eight of swords – I wanted to pull a clarifier because the eight usually represents negativity and victim mentality. I don’t think this will be your energy in a year. So, I pulled the Sunrise card. I think it’s AWESOME that you got 2/3 unique cards from this deck. This card is different than the Sun card, though, in my interpretation, it has a lot of the same energy. In the times that you feel guilty for setting your boundaries or taking care of yourself first, there will be a sunrise in the back of your mind. You will see the light of the rays and the warmth of this bright star. It will be a reminder that the sun always rises and it doesn’t mean you’re reverting back to your old tendencies to forget your own needs.

12 month column is ace of wands & moonlight ; apologies for the hard to read text. in retrospect, I shouldn't have picked that photo background.

Current energy: The Devil reversed.

Right now, you are going through a personal transformation. I bet there is a sense of unknown and you’re a bit resistant to that (consciously or not). The future is scary and not being able to plan for it doesn’t help the anxiety. However, you understand the importance of your transformation and are trying your best to optimistic of the outcome.

3 – The Hierophant, Temperance, and Four of cups

In three months, it looks like you’ll still be on the journey of self-discovery, but you’ll be a little more patient with not knowing. In the time leading up to this three-month mark, you’ll discover tools that help you remain present. You’ll do a lot of introspection which will allow you to feel more comfortable about still being in land of the unknown. Around the three-month mark, you’ll redirect your thoughts to a different pathway than you’re currently thinking. The four of cups represents meditation and re-evaluation of your situation. You may have a moment of panic feeling like you have to start over AGAIN, but the tools you’ve learned were meant to be learned so you could get through this. You KNOW you’re not starting over because you have new insights that weren’t even in your reality three months ago (aka now). You may start delving more into spirituality to help you on your journey. This could include going to church more often, researching new religions, picking up tarot, or simply continuing meditation to get a bigger understanding of the world around you.  

6 – The Sun

By six months, you’re going to feel like the sun won’t stop shining. Even on the coldest days, you feel the warmth of the sun because you know you have a purpose. In the time between three months & six months, you’re going to figure something out. Something is going to click and it is going to propel you to work on something great. You’ll feel revitalized, group four, and I think it’s a feeling you’ve been looking for for awhile now.  You’re going to inspire others with your newfound light. You’re going to feel confident expressing yourself (beliefs, needs, ideas, etc.). I’m really happy for you!

12 – Ace of wands, Moonlight (specific to this deck; different from The Moon)

This time next year will truly feel like a new beginning. The sun has set on this particular part of your journey and the moon is coming out to light the next path. While the moonlight is less bright than the sunlight, I think this card is here to represent that, no matter day or night, the universe is here to provide some light even in the darkness. As you look ahead to new opportunities, the unknown doesn’t scare you as much. You know the sun will always rise again and provide you clarity on your path. And you know based on this journey that you’ll always feel the sun’s warmth, no matter what part of the journey you’re on.

#tarot #free reading #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick a card #manifestation #transformation #your future #don't forget that free will is always there!

[bisexual-cryptid]

adhd eddie munson is something that can be so personal 😌

eddie is a very aggressively affectionate person. he just gets so overwhelmed by his emotions that he doesn’t know what to do with them. this means he’ll often just hit steve’s arm with his palms whenever he sees him. not hard enough to hurt, more like little love taps, just enough for them to be a little too close to painful. steve really doesn’t mind, he loves how eddie touches him and knows his love taps are just because he is excited to see him.

eddie has a bit of an oral fixation. he is almost always chewing on something be it hoodie strings, hair ties, his hair, his necklace, or steve. steve is his favorite one to chew on, leading to many hickeys whenever they’re together. not even in a sexual or promiscuous way either. it’s just that he loves steve so much and doesn’t know what to do with all the emotions he feels towards him so he’ll just chew on him. often times it will result in steve having hickeys and bite marks all over his arms and hands bc those are the most easily accessible to eddie.

the reason eddie got held back twice was because he has major gifted kid syndrome. he was a star student when he was a kid but then he got to high school and things just got harder. he had a hard time concentrating and he just didn’t understand what he was learning. if he couldn’t figure something out on the first try he would give up. which meant failing. a lot.

eddie is a very loud person but he actually has pretty bad social anxiety. he masks his anxiety with his loud voice and movements. if everyone already thinks he’s a freak, he can’t become even more of a freak to them. at least, that’s his reasoning behind it.

dnd and music are definitely his two biggest hyperfixations. he also loves lord of the rings but it’s not quite as big as the other two. he pours his entire heart and soul into every campaign and song he writes. often times steve will have to physically pull him to bed bc he has been working on a new campaign/song for 14 hours straight and hasn’t taken a break.

one of the reasons he wears so much jewelry and so many chains is to fidget with them. it helps that they also look metal as fuck, but he first started wearing them to play with throughout the day. it was something his uncle had suggested when he noticed how restless he would get sitting down for long periods of time.

he will often drink a cup of coffee right before bed. the first time steve sees him do it he is absolutely appalled because what are you doing eddie! you’re gonna be up all night! he just shrugs explaining it makes him sleepy. (steve is bewildered when eddie is out cold only a half hour later)

#stranger things #st4 #stranger things 4 #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steveddie #steve x eddie #adhd eddie munson #eddie munson headcanons #steddie headcanon #fic prompt

[chiyoso]

CYNOSURE'S ASCENDANCE: “CONSTRUCT”

▶PLAY. having barely escaped the observant general's sight, you found yourself back safely towards your abode while the problems in the xianzhou luofu continue to worsen, along with your state, not knowing that the severity of your situation had become on par with the ambrosial arbor crisis.

▶CONTENT. timeline takes place during xianzhou arc, multiple povs, cursing, dan heng ptsd, social anxiety(?), mentions of blood and fighting, idk what else to put here ☠️ pretty sfw for now

“Aeons—Ugh fuck,” You cursed under your unsteady breath, sounds of midnight, accompanied by your swift and graceful movements, slithering around the Exalting Sanctum's buildings, and keenly on the lookout for any patrolling cloud knights as you make your escape from the Arbiter General.

Oblivious and unaware, you've manage to accumulate a certain level of suspicion from your ongoing hobby of managing to apprehend criminals, to encountering shady alchemy commission individuals by chance, to victims of mara.

Additionally, the other night in your leisure stroll with the lovely spear you cherish while walking around Cloudford, you managed to encounter and go up againat two important antagonists who continued to disrupt the peace within the Xianzhou Luofu.

Dan Shu. Mauve Moon—and a damn headache.

You were clueless, attenpting to recall your superior's reports. You weren't heavily aware of the current situation, their status, and you most definitely were not aware that they were both high figures of a large group, unaware that they themselves had been one of the main troubling sources of the Xianzhou Alliance, dealing with unprecedented mara-strucked attacks, that you of course, fight from time to time.

History in the saying, you did however drag the former Cloud Knight, delivering his unconscious, tied up body, successfully placing his (alive of course) figure in the middle of the lotus plaza in the Exalting Sanctum. You didn't really know what happened to them after that since...

You were quite bruised and battered up after that.

Reason being?

The male, that Cloud Knight, he took you by surprise, almost devastatingly so on how skilled and imposing he was.

Prior to that night, you did study enough about the subject of the Xianzhou's main line of defenses—to recognize how Cloud Knights fought, their specific fighting style to bury it into your battle lusting mind, all through a thick, dusted book that you borrowed from Yinshu's book shop.

Even then with that knowledge, you instinctively underestimated the Cloud Knight, thinking to yourself he was just as any other mara-strucked soldier that you've been encountering based off your previous expeditions, resulting in a heavily battered up and sweaty victory.

But at day, where those adventures die down for a little bit, having associated yourself with the Realm-Keeping Commission had its ups and quite tiring lows recently.

Jingyan and Dahao informed you and Songyan, as well as other colleagues of yours, about certain trailblazers that had trouble keeping Dan Shu at bay, unfortunately, you weren't really there present in the office to witness the star traveling companions that time they came in, you were at least aware of their existence—somewhat.

Even so, during that meeting, you kept in mind of the slight intrusion of theirs, and despite the trailblazers claiming victor against the Cloud Knight, via information gathering and a bit of a brawl.

That woman. She had slipped away during your intense, bloody dance with him, leaving you utterly unsatisfied and frustrated.

But you won't deny, it was also one of the most skillful and difficult task you encountered, conflicting your emotions as the battle came to a victorious halt, even then — you were grateful for the opportunity, you knew you needed it, you really did, even in your struggle, you needed to use your spear again.

Why?

Your work in the Realm-Keeping commission consisted of paperwork and only paperwork, repetitively dealing with normal, casual affairs along with the oh-so carefree desk neighbor colleague of yours, Songyan, which you think should be fired for his laziness in all honesty.

One of the job's descriptions that consisted of investigations towards criminals, you thought you would participate in such activities, but not at all, you did not expect to drown in heavy paperwork instead, a heavy amount of your time stolen, restricting you from your beloved spear and rigorous training as the daylight approaches, leaving you deprived of your sleep and reliant on the reliable snack snapperfish jam, downed satisfyingly with a warm bottle of puffergoat milk, occasionally an immortal's delight drink for caffeine, instead of a well deserved full meal that your body genuinely needs.

You're thankful though, for the lonely food vendor just outside behind your residence, they resided near the starskiff dock, for setting a place in a... not so lively area at most times.

Though your reliance on her food, her despondency towards their business, and your need for a quick bite every morning, is definitely a win-win situation, a benefit for the two of you, gaining a friend based relationship for your personal needs, and her business needs.

The elephant in the room, was being an almost infamous vigilante of the Xianzhou Luofu, even if the Arbiter General himself hasn't made this situation public yet, ideal?

No. Never. Not at all.

It is a situation that you had just known about based on the short conversations of the Arbiter General and his lone Cloud Knight.

All because of your boredom in the day, and your eccentric nature, accompanied by your lustful battle tendencies that led you up to this moment.

Haa. Shit. Your accursed mind and body's desires for the excitement of wielding your dearest spear—you hated it. You'd start to subconsciously agree with your parent's idea on why they had... negative outputs of you.

You, being someone so dangerous, but you were no killer. Why would you anyways? The more individuals that you would've easily incapacitate and killed, the lesser your fights shall be.

That was your reasoning, and you're having a hard time determining if this aspect of you were a flaw or not, but you didn't dwell on it further as you finally arrived the court of tranquility, nearing your residence.

You were exhausted.

Both from the events that occured and your... ruined orgasm from earlier.

You moved with tired limbs, towards your cozy abode in a tiring daze, the faint blush on your cheeks don't seem to disappear as the Cloud General's voice continue to ring inside both of your eardrums.

“So that's how he sounds like...” You mumbled under your irregular breathing, your mind racing to the important figure of the Luofu, remembering his deep and stern tone, with underlying hints of warmth.

You sigh, placing your spear in hand close to the bed shortly after making your way towards your comfort room, wanting to get rid of your body's sweat and the remains of your womanly juices, that drenched your legs.

You felt relief once the water from the shower head began coat your skin, beginning to clean yourself, as the night pursues, unfortunately only leaving you a few hours of night worths of sleep, before sunrise awakens you forcibly so.

“But Mr. Yang—” A cute, high pitched and lively voice is cut off, placing her hands on her hips as the rising sun took a peek within the Astral Express's interior, its golden rays dwelled upon her cutely designed pajamas, creating a fresh atmosphere towards a new day.

“A distress call from Miss Jingyan arrived. I apologize for asking Pom-Pom to wake you, our presence is greatly needed by the Realm-Keeping Commission.” The man hoisted his glasses up, repositioning his spectacles over his nose bridge with his index and middle finger, as the other hand occupies his cane.

Before walking towards the cushioned seats, the tall figure looks over his shoulder, continuing shortly after, “Do make haste if possible March, please awaken the twins and Dan Heng.” He spoke with a firm and gentle tone, a sense of concern and urgency from the sound of his vocals if one listened deeply to his low and husk chords.

“Uuhg... alright,” with a compliant nod, accompanied with quiet, mumbling from the little lady, she made haste towards the cabins, heading in deeper into the Express while rubbing her eyes in a sleepy daze. How shall she do this efficiently you wonder? Their cabin, sliding doors were locked, and they were very much asleep in this early time of daylight.

“Mm...” She cleared her throat momentarily, as the light haired lady pursed her lips, facing the corridor where their cabin entrances reside, bringing her hands to the sides of her cheeks, inhaling dee—“EVERYONE! MADAM HIMEKO IS STARTING A CHUG FEST WITH HER COFFEE! LAST ONE OUT OF THEIR ROOMS IS TO FINISH EVERY DROP!” She yelled with the top of her lungs with a sly yet cute grin, her voice carrying a high volume as it was clear that anyone can hear her high pitched, urgent yet teasing tone.

“—the FUCK?” “S-Shit.” “MOVE STELLE-”

Panic and danger. Several, jumbled noises of stumbling and scattering within their personal abode, even March is able to hear several cusses from behind their rooms. While waiting for the first person to open their sliding door, she leans her back towards the Express's interior, gazing towards the sight of the galaxy, as well as the Xianzhou Luofu they docked on.

A sharp exhale was heard a few long moments after, her head instinctively turning towards the noise to reveal a tall male with dark hair, slightly disarrayed, his traditional earrings dangle from his movement, adjusting his white jacket, encrusted with a traditional yet modern design as his eyes dart around.

Looking with a sense of urgency outside his room, before laying his eyes upon the sleepy, pinked haired girl whose attire was still of sleep wear.

His eyes narrow to her, his legs bringing him to the individual who yelled and disrupted their sleep. “March—” An interruption ensued, two more doors sliding open simultaneously, displaying two grey haired disorganized individuals.

I can't believe that worked. She then shifted her attention attention towards the three with the signature smug grin creeping up in her lips.

“Rise and shine sleepyheads! Mr. Yang needs us, so hop to it!” She hummed in amusement clasping her hands together momentarily, not elaborating further as she lowers her hands, skipping cheerfully with satisfaction as she proceeds towards her own bunker, planning to ready herself in the process, and sliding the door to close it, leaving the three in a state of complete deep, utter confusion and disbelief.

“W-What about the chug fest...?” Stelle mumbled out in confusion moments after the silence, her tone clearly baffled as she witnesses March walk to her own room, leaving her in a daze as she then steps outside her cabin, her legs bringing her towards Dan Heng.

“Good game.” The grey haired man follows suit, rubbing his adam's apple with a wry, bitter smile.

Dan Heng clears his throat, his dilating, green irises, gazing towards March's door, beginning to speak. “I have no knowledge to give, but uh, I have discerned you two arrived more late, so...” He hummed with a relief of victory, his index and thumb rubbing his nose bridge, leaning his back against the Express' wall behind him, a sigh escaping his lips.

“F- Fuck!” The grey haired man, slumped to his knees as he crouches down, his hands gripping his fluffy locks, yelling at the top of his lungs, his voice's volume along with the dread on his voice, echoing through the corridor as his twin, swiftly moving her right, gloved hand to her mouth, seemingly wanting to puke, lowering her gaze to the floor as her eyes dilate.

Both of their golden eyes, dulling. Sharing a look of dread, their eyes telling a traumatizing tale involving Miss Himeko's brown liquid—or coffee, as she called it.

“What did March do now...” Mr. Yang mumbled to himself, having heard a slight commotion in the cabins while setting his cane onto the table, adjusting his gloved left hand.

Dan Heng's gaze lowered to the poor man slumped onto the floor, seemingly chanting something under his breath while the other grey haired girl whose face was dulled and filled with dread, crouches beside Dan Heng, letting the wall behind her back to support her.

“You two have seemed to forgotten that Mr. Yang needed us as well, the situation doesn't make sense.” He spoke to them in his usual, monotonous voice. Perceptive and observant, Dan Heng had always been, as he tries to make do and assess the stage with the limited information that March provided him.

“No matter... Let us take our leave, Mr. Yang is presumably waiting for us outside just as March said.” He ushers to the two grey haired, bummed out individuals, walking towards the tall entrance to the main area of the express, his demeanor quite neutral—but if observed heavily with a keen eye, he was absolutely, most definitely nervous as bead of sweat dropped from his jawline.

“I-” The grey haired man looked over to Dan Heng leaving, his gaze then faltering towards his twin as a look of determination glints his eyes.

“I'm pretty sure I got out first.” He huffs insisting to her, standing back up, and crossing his arms, as he follows late behind Dan Heng, whom was already out in the main area. Her eyes widened as she hoisted herself back up with her hands, her head facing towards Caelus' behind.

“HEY!” She yelled in disbelief, scurrying and jogging towards him, her gaze unwavering to him, now proceeding to argue over a non-existent problem that March staged for them as they venture outside from the corridor.

March then shortly after, slid her door open to the side, looking around to check if they're still within the now empty hall, before humming with a degree of accomplishment as closes her door, skipping in delight after and following the group of three behind a little late.

The group and a pink haired girl now visible behind them as she closes the entrance to their cabin, are now met with the piercing, brown gaze of Mr. Yang. He was confused as to why their faces grimaced while March's was had her usual lively demeanor, he furrowed his eyebrows at them, pointing his cane towards their direction—or rather March's direction.

“March, what was that shriek earlier.” His tone firmed, eyes narrowed to her.

“We're uh, ready for... for the... chug fest?” She spoke with dread as her face showed visible a grimace, leaving the tall, old figure more so confused as March tried to hold back laughter.

“Chug... fest?”

“W-Well... You said make haste Mr. Yang...” March responded with a playful expression on her face as she rubbed the back of her hair.

With a long sigh, the tall, brown haired figure taps the hilt of his cane down to the floor once, the firm and loud noise following suit, grabbing the attention of group in four as he exerts a serious and calm demeanor.

“You four, our presence is needed in the Luofu as per request of the Seat of The Divine Foresight, Jing Yuan himself.” Dan Heng flinched, his eyes dilating upon hearing a familiar name as a sharp sensation filled his head, causing him to reach out and massage his nose bridge, stepping back from the group momentarily.

His expression faltered into a grimace, looking away towards the window view of the Luofu, his mind, rendered in waves of memories, flooding him relentlessly.

Welt Yang's keen observations noticed his absence immediately, noticing the sorrow filled eyes of his as he walked away discreetly. He understood vaguely since way before about his mysterious past, but he didn't pry further into his life, and Dan Heng was grateful for that.

“Dan Heng?” March questioned, noticing shortly after, looking around as her eyes land upon the disarrayed dark haired man, the twins, silent and looking back to him as well.

“March, it's okay, let him be.” Welt reassured, his spectacles briefly looking towards Dan Heng before returning his gaze to the group once again. Welt cleared the sudden, uncomfortable air, clearing his throat to gain back the attention of the three again.

“I apologize for waking all of you in this time of light, but it is quite urgent. I haven't received details as to why they need us at this time, however...” The brown haired man's voice trails off as he turns his head to look towards the docks of the Luofu.

“Basing from the situation within the Xianzhou Alliance, as well as the recent mission Caelus and Stelle did, it is safe to assume that this is most likely about the group, Sanctus Medicus again.”

“What the heck are they up to now?!” March huffed with a cute frown, scratch her hair in confusion and attempting to follow the conversation.

“But... Didn't we—or Caelus and Stelle gain information from them already? What gives this time?” She continued, her head turning towards the twins, tilting her head to the side.

Welt nodded, his right hand rubbing his chin as he pondered momentarily, seconds before relaying a response.

“You'd be correct, we did give the Realm-Keeping Commission valuable information, however... Dan Shu herself had ultimately escaped, I assume something happened, had it only been a few days since the mission.” He stated, lowering his hand beside him in idle.

“Nonetheless, we are still needed,” je continued, now facing his body towards the stairs up towards the exit.

“We shouldn't keep the commission waiting, let's go trailblazers.” He spoke over to his shoulder, before facing and walking towards the exit of the Astral Express.

March and the still-confused groggy twins follow suit behind Mr. Yang towards the exit, making their way towards Cloudford's Skiff Boarding Area as Dan Heng was left behind with his thoughts and his fragmented memories, continuing to haunt him while a seething sensation throbbed in his head.

“...So no coffee?” Caelus said, his voice mixed with a confusion and uncertainty as March's snickering follows suit.

The rising sun threatens your eyes, its rays indicating another day of living.

You just got out from your bed while the sunrise's radiant glow shone inside your apartment's chambers, with you, having only a few hours of sleep that you managed to get.

Blinking away the grogginess your hazy lids, you forcibly brought your sore, and bruised body towards the contents of your bathroom, doing your quick and hygienic routine, and since you already washed yourself from the eventful night that happened just a few hours ago.

“Nnn,” you were already quite ready for work, not before trying to cover up your bruises around your face and arms with an alchemy commission specialty beauty liquid that you can put anywhere with safety—or so the sales woman claimed.

You figured, on days like this whereas you encountered such skillful opponents that causes your body and flesh to-well... look absolutely battered up, this 'make-up' as they call it, would be able to hide your marks from the nightly battles you kept getting yourself into.

After covering up several discolored injuries that were obvious, (surprisingly with accumulated skill from your constant use of the liquid foundation).

Roughly 40 minutes left. You have time.

You stretched groaning, now dressing up and letting out a heavy, tired sigh as you walk over to your bed. “I'll see you tonight,” you reached down to your spear sighing, kissing the flat surface of the sharp tip, before making your way towards the outside of your residence.

You were met with the sight of your table and the sight Ambrosial Arbor's scenery as per usual, the golden leaves floating around showering the Exalting Sanctum exquisitely along with the sunrise's rays that shone all over your body. You didn't tire of the view as it had a calming effect that slowly washed your mental turmoil away, especially the events of the night that pursued.

Taking a few technical deep breaths, you pressed on towards the vendor behind your place, moving accordingly with your plans—me?

That's a poster of me, right? No? Yes? I-

You checked closer towards the wall just outside your entrance, your eyes squinted, scanning the plastered paper against the red wall.

It wasn't exactly you per say you thought, but rather... it was the color of your hair, a dark silhouette of a woman with a huge question mark on the face and your—“MY SPEAR?!” You choked on your saliva as you instinctively cover your mouth seconds after, grabbing the unintentional attention of several locals within hearing range in confusion, you then turn around to bow apologetically in a hurry before resuming your own tiny investigation.

Shit, why was your spear in the illustration?

Was your unorganized, panicked escape from yesterday from the General's sight the reason?

How much did he see? How much did he witness?

What did—Your racing thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your stomach crying for help, you were already lacking proper food intake, and now you're delaying the hope and savior of your organs? 'Pull yourself together' you thought to yourself, slapping your cheeks lightly and repeatedly as you proceeded to move your legs.

You shook your head in a daze, bringing your hand to your head as a growing headache ensues from your underlying stress, making your way towards the food stall just infront of the Exalting Sanctum's starskiff docks.

Your heart along with your mind continues to race, as you walk towards the vendor who was already eager and waiting for you, since you were her most loyal customer after all. The vendor immensely notices the visible distrsss in your face, as she began to speak, interrupting your train of thought again. “Miss? Lack of sleep again?” She spoke softly, assuming the usual, the bags under your eyes along with the look of distress, visible on your facial features.

“An all-nighter again... Don't worry.” You lied through your teeth, resuming this white, harmless lie as you continued to deprive yourself of sleep.

You worry that your body won't be able to keep up with your love of training and battle if you kept this up, you should really ask Dahao or Jingyan for a break if y—“The usual, miss?" Again, your worries get interrupted by the vendor's soft voice, snapping you out in your hazy, exhausted trance.

“A-Apologies, just the... and fried fish and immortal's delight this time.” You respond without missing a beat, you spoke a tad bit incoherently, slurring your words as the stress is getting to you, creeping up and affecting your body's performance as well.

You usually don't rely on this drink, but with recent events and your sleep deprivation, you started to become heavily reliant on it, yet you had no choice. “Cetainly,” The food vendor hummed, as the sounds of crackling and sizzling satisfied your eardrums, along with the welling up scent of the food you had ordered begin to create an air of delicious aroma around you and the stall.

A tired yawn escapes your mouth, waiting for the food in preparation.

You decide to do the stretches for your body that you forgot earlier, you were not about to lose the hardwork you've put on your body.

The sight was already normal to the vendor, except at first of course.

That being the case, your ears perked up, hearing a starskiff past by and dock into the Exalting Sanctum, but you were too occupied from your stretching as your bare, right leg was now on top of the wooden railings, your whole body pressed against your leg as several voices are heard.

“WOAH! Look Stelle!” A certain high pitched voice rang through your keen ears in the distance, though you weren't sure if the hallucinations from your accumulated stress were finally setting in, or if you really did hear a lively, high pitched female voice.

The mention of you gained the slight attention of the two men behind the duo, as they part from the starskiff. You were a peculiar sight for four, as the pink haired girl's eyes shimmer at the sight of your impressive stretching.

“Your order's almost ready!” Your attention then was shortly called upon the vendor, your food and the immortal's drink, now visible at the wooden counter. “Ah, mhm.” You proceeded to do some final stretching, before cracking your neck and walking over towards the counter, the corners of your mouth seemingly moist as you take in the aroma of your food.

It had never smelled this good before, or was it the stress enhancing your senses?

The latter, definitely the latter.

Steps and mumured voices began to volume louder, finally getting your attention as you look over to the sources of the noise, your head tilting left towards the docks to the sight of two girls coming up to you up the stairs, the two men following behind as you were in the middle of partaking in your feast.

“Miss!” The girl in pink hair in her unsual yet cute blue attire, called out to you in the middle of munching.

“Hrmf?” Your mouth was full of your wrapped breakfast as your attention was sought towards the two girls.

They were definitely, definitely not from the Luofu, all of their attires were heavily different, in contrast to your custom made Xianzhou attire, a black dress, encrusted with golden accents and paired with golden accessories, you most definitely also stood out the rest of the locals, but hey, at least you were wearing familiar clothing, unlike these individuals that—“Hellooooo???”

You were interrupted by the sight of a small, fair-skinned palm, waving over your hazy eyes as you gulped your food down your throat and wiped the corners of your mouth with your thumb, you also notice the two men standing visibly tall in your line of sight behind the two girls.

“Ah,” you feel your cheeks grow slightly warm as all five individuals lay their gazes upon you with curious looks as you clear your throat.

“I-I apologize, what was that miss—?” You softly spoke in response to the little miss's call to you, tilting your head down to bow apologetically, your low, sultry voice had undertones of curiousity. It was obvious that you were tired and fatigued, the observant dark haired man along with the brown haired figure only took notice.

“I said—” The high pitched voice was then cut off by a hand to her shoulder, the hand belonging to a tall, brown haired man with a coat and cane, stepping forward from behind her.

At first glance he looked... quite young but his fanning lines and youthless features can be seen if you observed closely.

“March, let them take their time.” He spoke as his eyes scan your features, his gaze landing upon the covered up bruises along your cheeks and the injuries on your arms, he was curious, along with dark haired man whom also noticed simultaneously the bruises along your skin.

You felt their curious gazes linger to you, letting yourself get conscious and anxious about your form and appearance, your eyes dilating down to your snack in hand, lowering the food down below your chest.

You clear your throat, looking up and glance towards the tall figure towering over the two girls, along with you.

“Miss...—” He spoke again, delaying the S syllable sound as he awaits for your name.

With deep contemplation, you lowered your food towards the wooden counter to the side of you, the vendor idling about in her stall, busy with her preparations for the day as you face towards the fascinating group.

“Y/n. Y/fn. Please address me as so, it's a pleasure,” you spoke in response, placing your right hand on your chest, tilting your body downwards to bow down.

In all honesty, this was the first time in a long while that you interacted with anyone else besides your colleagues at the Realm-Keeping Commission, and the criminals you've been occasionally encountering, you had no idea what to do, so perhaps, a simple bow will do the trick, and that it did.

Your hair fell forward from your shoulders as you tilted your body, lowering your head and closed gaze towards the floor.

You were elegant. “Pretty... Miss—We haven't seen you around before! Who are you by the way?” She said cheerily, her sparkling gradient eyes continued to stare in curiousity as she brought her hands to her hips.

The rest of the group were most definitely intrigued by your sudden appearance near the docks, though—they were right, they haven't seen you around before that's one, and you most certainly were unintentionally displaying a level of intrgue and elegance, based on your 'awkward' movements that you thought were in your head.

You tilt your head up, your gaze landing on her momentarily, before shifting your body back up straight again, observing the other figures around her.

“I work—...” You straighten yourself. “I work within the Realm-Keeping Commission. Y/fn at your service.” Your hand remained on your chest, as you continued your introduction towards the group.

“And... I want to ask, who might be the group before me? Your clothing ehm, all of your attires don't make you look like locals here at all.” You continued, lowering your hands to the same level as your thighs, interlacing your fingers in a moment of your masked anxiousness.

A silence followed your question, you noticing their body language as they straighten their backs, their gaze intensifying slightly towards you.

“Are you like—royalty y/n?” The cute, high pitched voice broke the anxiety inducing silence.

What?

“I'm- I'm afraid not...? Why the question miss—”

“You can call me March! And you look really photogenic too! You sh—” March cuts you off in her excitement, her eyes sparkling and glancing up to your reddening face, continuing to ramble about excitedly in your presence about photos and the Astral Express, though she gets shortly cut off after a few moments of her rambling by the grey haired man behind her.

Pretty eyes. You thought as your eyes glanced back and forth subtly to the both grey haired individuals. “March...” He said, reminding her of her rambling as she flinches to the call of her name, letting go of your hand, bowing repeatedly to you while apologizing frantically as you try to reassure her.

The grey haired girl then pulled March's hand behind her, leading her towards the back of the group as she mumbled with Stelle's gloved hand on her mouth, muffling her noises.

“I apologize for... March's liveliness Miss Y/n,” the man with the glasses coughed into his fist, clearing his throat and stepping to where March was previously were, catching your attention again.

“Prior to your question... We are from the Astral Express,” your ears twitched upon hearing their origins, you have most definitely heard about the existence famous train that wonders through the galaxy, but you definitely did not expect to meet them in your lifetime like this, in this situation.

“In truth be told, we were on our way towards the Realm-Keeping Commission as well, via business per say, and... you call me—” He paused, pondering to himself, shifting his stance before clearing his throat.

“Welt, Welt Yang. A member of the Astral Express.” Welt tilted his head down slightly in respect, shortly after returning your gaze as your lips curl into faint, warm smile.

“First name basis alrea—mmfh!?” Stelle covers her mouth frantically, gaining the other eyes of the other members, quickly dart to March's direction in amusement, except for the dark haired man, his stern gaze piercing March.

“Mmfgp—!!” March squealed as the twins then pulled her by the wrist, towards the food vendor, perhaps to hush her down with food.

“You really need to read the situation sometimes dumbass.” Caelus said, holding back a laughter of amusement, reduced to a faint smirk.

With the noise of clearing his throat, Welt brings his hand up to his face, his fingers adjusting his glasses back onto his nose bridge, and you notice, under his spectacles is a faint, tint of red, swelling up in his cheeks as he cleared his throat in his embarassment.

Your eyes once again, land on Stelle and the twins near the wooden counter, then realizing your food had gone slightly cold, thus beginning to reach out for your wrapped up breakfast again, food held in hand, quite amused and curious at the situation.

Your felt your own cheeks grow hot as you munched on your almost finished breakfast, this was the first time in awhile you've interacted with many this way after all, and you felt Caelus' and Welt's gazes from your peripheral vision, continuing to eye you with a faint tint of pink in their own skin as well.

Ah. Wait. The Astral Express? In the Luofu? A request from the Realm-Keeping Commission?

Ah—The Cloud General's request from last night.

Shit, was it about me? Was it about something else? W-Wait! These- These twins... Jingyan mentioned them I think...?

You tighten your hold on your wrapped food subconsciously, your mind continued to race, the two keen observers of the Astral Express noticed your changed demeanor, your eyes dilating slightly towards the grey haired girl, the grey haired man walking towards the two as a dread creeps up within you.

“Miss Y/n?” You flinch, your deafening train of thought is cut off by the sound of a deep, aged voice, your eyes quickly darting to the man with the glasses towering over you with a look of concern.

“A-Ah, uhm,” you attempt to steer clear of your negative thoughts as you try to compose yourself infront of the tall figure before you.

You did nothing wrong, you and the members of the Astral Express just quite literally met, there's nothing to worry about.

...But why would the Seat of the Divine Foresight request them? Why are they needed?

No, they have more pressing matters. Yeah, of course. The Ambrosial Arbor problem. Mhm.

Your mind wandered back to the conversation of the Cloud General, trying to remember exact words from him as you—“Miss Y/N...” You snap out of it, a soft yelp escaping your mouth as you flinch, hearing his voice call out to you again, only to then feel all of their gazes on you, worried and concerned.

“It is not my place to pry but... Are you alright Miss Y/n?” Welt asked, his gaze softening as he glances to your contusions and marks all over your arms and your bruised, callused hands.

“I didn't want to bring it up, but I have noticed your physical state of being as well as your... exhaustion,” he says with utmost concern as Caelus steps forward beside him hearing his concern as the two men notice your refined, callus hands especially, though you had a feeling the other man was eyeing other things of your figure, respectfully, probably.

They were curious of you, they certainly were aware that those were not normal hands, it was callused, it was refined relentlessly and endlessly, and it was red with marks.

You had the hands of a highly skilled fighter, and it was obvious to the two experienced individuals.

The both of them had an unspoken understanding of their curiousity towards you, you had an air of mystery and slight danger for the two men as the others didn't notice, but him, not Welt Yang.

You were an oblivious expert in hiding your identity from the duality of your personality, oblivious by being unaware that being true to yourself is already deterring gazes and suspicions from you, and that was a trait that a vast majority, along with the Arbiter General himself, wishes it wasn't implemented to your whole being.

Except, your healing wounds were fresh from the fight against Dan Shu, Zhixin and several other mara-strucked Cloud Knights with them, your expertly covered up bruises, cuts and gashes weren't noticable to the other three from the skillful cover up over your discoloration, but not to the veteran, not at all.

It was the first thing Welt Yang noticed when March called out to you as you were stretching previously too.

“I-...” You take a deep, panicked breath, trying to compose yourself as you hastily bring your hands behind you, resting on your rear, lowering your gaze to the floor not knowing what to do as you fiddle with your fingers anxiously.

The two men took note of your behavior, your body language and your expression, though their thought process wasn't as deep as you thought it was.

“I apologize for making you uncomfortable Miss Y/n, we can assure you that we- we mean no harm.” Welt spoke to you, adjusting his coat as he shifts uncomfortably in his stance before continuing.

“It's just—” He gets cut off by the alarm of your phone, buzzing inside your dress's pockets, flinching as your hands scatter to it to turn it off.

Shit, you were late, even after waking early, you hadn't realize how much time passed just from this interaction.

Your face grimaces as you lower your phone, looking frantically to the other three individuals, your eyes landing on your immortal's delight drink placed on the wooden counter, before returning your gaze to Welt.

“I-I'm sorry Mr. Yang, duty calls,” you quickly bow, lowering your red, pretty face to him, before tilting your body back up to grab your drink from the counter, bolting away from the group hurriedly as you make your way towards the Realm-Keeping Commission office.

Absolutely thankful for the Aeons who interrupted—or aligned the stars into your favor from uncomfortable situation.

“W-Wait—Ah.” Caelus reached out, and stopped in his tracks as you bolted, sighing disappointedly, his golden irises having a look tinge of admiration and regret as he watches your back.

“Mmhf-? Whafsdafallabouf?” The high pitched voice said incoherently, her mouth stuffed with snacks as she walks towards the baffled tall figure, adjusting his glasses as he cleared his throat.

Caelus and Stelle huddled up around the girl with the blue attire as they look towards the direction you sprinted swiftly with slight concern and confusion in their faces.

“I-I believe... Miss Y/N had to go urgently, and speaking of which,” he turned his head towards the group, his gaze stern and calculative, placing his cane towards his side.

“We need to move, I'm sure we've kept Miss Jingyan and Mr. Dahao enough,” he stated, beginning to walk inside the Court of Tranquility along its marbled pavements, as the rest of the Astral Express follow suit behind him.

“He- Hey wait!” March exclaimed after gulping down her food.

“Aren't we also going to meet up with her again? She said she worked in the Realm-Keeping Commission as well didn't she?” She said excitedly as Stelle wiped the corners of her mouth, dusting off crumbs of fried bits.

“Stop talking with your mouth full... You look like that one little creature with the puffy cheeks you see eating nuts.” Caelus snickered in his usual stern tone, walking beside his twin as the group continued to make their way towards the office.

His eyes glimmered at the thought of meeting you again in all honesty, who stretches so impressively early into the daylight, who had healing bruises wounds from battles assumingly, and someone who seemed so elegant and mysterious just popping out of no where?

You, you did, and air that coated around you was thick with mystery and allure, intriguing the two men.

You were both in Welt Yang's and Caelus' thoughts, in deep skepticism as they continued to pondered about your wounds and covered up injuries.

They immediately knew you had fighting experience based on their observations, but they were in a stalemate as to why and how it happened to you.

You were a stranger to the Astral Express after all, and the air of your mysteriousness was heavy, the same level as how the Ambrosial Arbor came to fruition within the Exalting Sanctum so suddenly.

“She was really pretty though.” Caelus hummed with a faint smirk, suddenly breaking the comfortable silence as they walk around the lotus plaza, his hands behind his head as he raised his arms to the side, thinking of your presence.

His sudden comment caused Welt to flinch slightly, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Of course someone like you would say that Caelus...” March responded, rolling her eyes as Stelle kept March close to her, silently attentive as the girl in a blue school uniform continued to eat.

He sighs dramatically. “I didn't even get to speak to her a lot though,” Caelus groaned, ruffling his hair in frustration as he continued to think about you.

“Oh shupf upf! Not our fault you continued to hesitate! You'll see herf againmf!” March exclaimed with her mouth full, as she continued to eat her snack.

In essence, the priority of your appearance and of your attractiveness was far back in Welt's list of worries and priorities for him, Welt, but when Caelus mentioned it, he couldn't help but think back to you in another light.

It was nothing serious, but it was definitely an unspoken agreement to his statement. He felt his cheeks grow slightly warm.

“Mm,” hs tinting cheeks come to a halt, as your figure coming into their line of sight, whilst you talked to Guangda (Realm-Keeping Orderly) in a hurry, leaving his thoughts in a slightly disorganized mess.

After greeting the guard outside, you opened the door to the office, swinging the door open with your labored breath, intertwining with the cold air of the office.

You were greeted with Jingyan's usual look of tiredness and disapproval despite her eerie, professional smile.

“Oh? There she is.” Songyan, your desk neighbor colleague hummed in amusement, causing your expression to grimace slightly in annoyance as you hastily walk to your desk full of scrolls and paperwork.

“Jingyan! It's been more than a week or so since the start of her tardiness, Y/N's been arriving late often now!" He continued, adjusting his glasses, looking towards the womanly official, the pillar of the Realm-Keeping Commission, complaining about you.

The woman with the eerie, professional smile then opened her eyes towards Songyan, her gaze unsettling and exhausted as she looks towards him with a glare.

“I shall remind you once more, Songyan,” she stifled to click her tongue. “She does more work and labor than you by 50%.” She said, her sinister smile remaining as her eyes glinted to him.

As if her glare was trying to say 'Leave me alone, or I'll fire you this instant.' Causing him to flinch at her gaze.

Rolling your eyes from the conversation Songyan instigated, you set your drink on the side, nestling in your seat as you begin to try and tend to your work, blocking out the noises within the office, your eyes hovering tiredly.

Eyes trailing, leading upon a specific sea of information that the people of the Exalting Sanctum have been submitting; noise complaints every night, a dark silhouette moving along the shadows under the moonlit darkness, someone spotting a female figure fighting mara-strucked soldiers in Cloudford, and unfortunately, many more that's related to the things you've been doing, only then finally realizing the severity of your accumulated actions.

Aeons, maybe it was because you've been absolutely tired? Sleep deprived? The drastic, negative turn of your diet and lesser food intake?

“Shit man,” You cussed under your breath, slumping your head over the table, the position you're in causes your eyes to instinctively feel more drowsy, your eyelids growing weak, fluttering your eyes close, struggling to stay conscious.

You were weak, your body was certainly not used to this unhealthy routine from years of doing the opposite. Your eyes flutter close, the cold, comfortable office air that smelled of paper and scrolls, envelopes you in your deserved slumber.

Jingyan and Dahao, the two main officials of the Realm-Keeping Orderly, let you rest, noticing your sleep deprived state that had been more frequent since the past week.

They know you work harder than anyone else, on par with Jingyan herself, they let you be as you doze off into your dreamland.

A few minutes after you began to nap, several voices are heard outside the main entrance, swinging open to reveal the Astral Express crew, yet you were in deep slumber despite their liveliness.

“Ah, the express crew.” Jingyan greeted, looking over to the familiar people that had helped them in several occasions.

“The Arbiter General is requesting your presence, The master diviner; Lady Fu Xuan is also waiting for you in the Alchemy Commission, but I shall momentarily lay several details of what's been happening at the moment,” she said, moving towards the surveillance footage area, sifting through a few videos before landing on a specific one—that had your hair flowing freely under the moonlight and the dim lighting of the warm colored lamps as you made your hasty escape into the night hours ago.

The group followed shortly after her movement, beginning to survey and observe the footage that was currently playing. “...What are we looking at exactly?” March said in her questioning tone, her confused gaze glancing back and forth towards her crew and Jingyan herself.

Thank the stars and Aeons for the dark night, your silhouette and face were very hard to determine despite the advancements of the Xianzhou's technology.

You were just a dark, female figure with an elegant looking spear, but that was bad—their options were been definitely dialed down to female suspects, you were still safe, for now.

“May we ask for context Miss Jingyan?” Welt stepped forward to the screen, analyzing the moving image of you, along with the rest of the crew.

Jingyan nodded, showing a few more clips of your hasty escape in the dark, your expert movement catching the eyes of the Astral Express almost immediately. “W-Whoa... She's really quick...��� March exclaimed, bringing her hands to her lips to cover it in her surprise.

“...And really cool.” Caelus mumbled under his breath smirking with his arms crossed, his golden gaze "studying" the footage showing, the same goes for Welt.

“The... Arbiter General encountered—or... found someone near the docks to his office as he was walking towards the seat of the Divine Foresight.”

She paused, her fingers tapping and the screen reveals Jing Yuan and his Cloud Knight, talking to each other for a few minutes, it was normal at first, not seeing anything amiss, but then the next few sequences of the footage shows Jing Yuan's attention being caught, as he looks around for what seems to be something.

It caught the crew's interest in a blink in an eye.

The Arbiter General proceeded to go out the line of sight from the camera as—“Darn! Where did he go off to?” March spoke the rest of the crew's thoughts as her voice broke the slight concentration of everyone reviewing the footage.

“The General told me he heard... noises that I will not elaborate further.” Jingyan feigned a wry, cold smile, firm on her decision as she saw March's mouth part to question and immediately retracting back her words and her finger, putting her hands behind her back.

The two men's interests were piqued, confused by her statement, but they didn't have the chance to dwell on their thoughts as Jingyan continued to speak.

“The General had witnessed a spear tip of a silver, crystal-like blade in her escape, he saw when it got hit by moonlight, the blade would illuminate around her and her surroundings.

It was one of two things that he only saw from the scene as she quickly fled.” Jingyan finishes, her professional gaze serious and unwavering as she glances to the surveillance footage of you.

“So-...” March spoke up first from the silence and processing of the vague yet key information of your being, but she then gets cut off by Welt, as he adjusted his spectacles back to his nose bridge.

“Then... Miss Jingyan, what seems to be the problem?” He spoke in his serious tone, his eyes returning Jingyan's as she began to spoke in reply.

“If you are all unaware, there had been a mysterious person who have been apprehending criminals of all kinds and delivering them into the center of the lotus plaza every night, and Cloud Knights would find them tied up, beaten up and unconscious.” She said as her fingers tap again onto the surveillance screen, showing the lotus area of the Court of Tranquility.

The center of the plaza would be seen, along with the two individuals who were tied up, revealing your dark silhouette, your hair and spear illuminating in the darkness as you drag the tied up, unconscious Cloud Knight—“HUH.”

Both the twins yell before hastily bringing their gloved hands to their mouth, grabbing the attention of Dahao, Songyan and the rest of the workers in the commission, though you were still in your deep sleep, your desk was tucked in the corner after all, not noticing you at all.

The twins recognize the unconscious body you were placing in the center of the plaza, moving and inching closer to the screen, trying to analyze you closer as their eyes squint simultaneously, but to no avail.

Your illuminated hair were luckily covering the right spots of your features, and the darkness of the night didn't help them visualize you either.

The silhouette stretches in the footage, then a sequence of you making your hasty escape follows after, and the most noticable thing was only your spear—a beautifully crafted spear.

It was their only clue. Their eyes were drawn and focused on your weapon as you held it close to you in your escape.

Curious eyes observing on the length and size of your black spear as gold lighting or vein marks decorated the bottom of your spear and upwards, as the moon shone on your blade, there was an obvious crystal like main part in the middle, and the other two were downed in size, curved to the opposite of its direction.

It was radiating with elegance and intrigue.

Reminding them of someone they stumbled to as of recent.

Jingyan, and the rest of the express cree can't help but focus on who the spear wielder was as your spear enveloped with the nightly breeze, continuing to create an enigmatic riddle and for them to solve.

Welt Yang then cleared his throat, clearing the tense silence once again as he looked over towards Jingyan, his eyes serious and calculative.

“The unconscious body... is from Sanctus Medicus, correct Miss Jingyan?" He asked, glancing back to the footage again.

Before she had a chance to reply, she was cut off by Caelus, “B-But... but how? How did she- How did they... What the hell?” He said with an obvious dilemma, Stelle's expression mirroring the look of defeat on her twin's face as she crosses her arms with one hand towards her face, her index and thumb rubbing the bridge of her nose.

Their look of defeat were understandable as March tried to comfort them with chuckling as her face secreted sweat, her hands patting both of their backs as her gaze returns to the repeating footage of you dragging their unconscious bodies.

“Jing Yuan is certain that she'd had been the one delivering us criminals in the darkness for several years-” Welt, and the other three's ears perk up.

“Several... years.” He repeated almost immediately, sighing, his brows furrowing, rubbing his thumb along his cane.

The twins then were taken towards the seating area by March, as they wallowed in defeat, their dulled expressions lowering to the floor as March continued to comfort them both.

“So, It's safe to say she's a registered citizen of the Xianzhou Luofu, her attire... is different yet familiar.” He inspected the silhouette of your whole being, narrowing his eyes to the hologram footage.

“Precisely, we've already narrowed it down only to; Female, a Xianzhou Luofu resident, and someone from the Exalting Sanctum.” Jingyan responded, laying out the facts that have been confirmed prior to this.

“But... What seems to be the problem?” Welt stepped in, his brown eyes returning to the footage of you before continuing,

“You said that she'd had been... fighting against criminals and delivering them to you for a few years now. Isn't that good Miss Jingyan?” He said, bringing up his hand to his chin, his mind racing in deep thought.

Jingyan also pondered to herself deeply as well, but before she could respond, Dahao walked up behind them.

“That may be the case Mr. Yang,” he'd step in.

“but this... person figure fought a 100 year old former Cloud Knight, and apprehended the two formiddable oppresors that we, the Realm-Keeping Commission, as well as the whole Alliance also had trouble dealing with for a good amount of time.” Dahao then looked towards the footage of you making your hasty, skillful escape, showing the part of your visible elegant spear, his expression turning more serious.

“She is a formiddable... that is without a doubt, and someone dangerous like her is roaming around the Xianzhou Luofu. What makes it difficult is that, she isn't a former Cloud Knight as well as her fighting style heavily differs to the training regiments of ours, and we aren't aware of her intentions at all.” He said glancing towards the two men who were listening intently.

Welt Yang had started to realize the seriousness of the situation, as his expressions mirrored his serious and stern features. “The General himself as well as the Realm-Keeping Commission realizes of her good deeds, but despite our priorities... we have been also trying for years to get ahold of her, just so we could interrogate her of her questionable actions.” Dahao continued, as the Welt nodded.

“So, the Cloud General, would like to request us to perhaps... get ahold of her whereabouts?” Welt said, his right hand firmed to his cane, quite determined as he, himself was confused by your intentions to do so.

Baffled as his mind continued to wander, he was thinking as to why this person would go such lengths for several years, doing this especially in hiding.

Your intentions did not make sense to the veteran, there had to be more to it.

You, doing this occasionally often whenever you can, for several years, without showing yourself and remained in hiding, for what?

Why wouldn't you want to take credit?

Why wouldn't you want to be known for your great deeds that was helping the Luofu itself?

Especially now once you encountered and brought one of the main problems that the Luofu was experiencing when it came to mara-stricken individuals or victims of the deathly disease.

“That would be ideal Mr. Yang, but as Jingyan previously mentioned, the General had requested your presence in the Alchemy Commission, regarding a serious situation about Sanctus Medicus.” Dahao paused, grimacing as he lowered her gaze, crossing his arms.

“The situation... is absolutely bizarre, our Xianzhou troops were more ways in one formiddable, yet we struggle in heavy amounts.”

Dahao then faced Welt, his eyes full of worry. “We shouldn't keep you waiting guests of the General. Lady Fu Xuan is assumingly in the midst of dealing with the situation right now.” He continued, bowing down, as Welt did the same, calling upon his fellow crew members before setting their destination towards a new, trifling and dangerous adventure that awaited them.

The Luofu already had a lot in their plate, dealing with a re-kindled battle against the phantom ways of the old, against the people who pledged to the Abundance, to continuous mara-struck cases, to the Sanctus Medicus finally acting out in hiding.

The Luofu was a devastating mess, and your mysteriousness just added an unnecessary layer stress and uneasiness, all caused by the flames of desire to wield your dearly beloved spear against a foe, deemed formiddable of it.

You were an existence that had yet to be solved, to the four crew members of the Astral Express, the Xianzhou Alliance, and the rest of the Realm-Keeping commission. Not knowing that you were here, in the office, in the same room as them and your worried coworkers, dozing off your fatigue and stress away.

And they all wanted to solve you.

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#— 強 [Cynosure's Ascendance] ♰ #honkai star rail #hsr #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x y/n #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #welt yang #dan heng #caelus #stelle #march 7th #— ⓘ [BANNER] created by CHIYOSO

[selectivechaos]

Selective mutism awareness month

Here's a masterpost on what is sm: link

🌹 SM is an anxiety disorder characterised by the persistent inability to speak in certain social situations. This could be around certain people, or in certain settings like school, or work, or home.

A major thing with SM is also the marked ability to communicate in situations where the person feels comfortable and less anxious.

SM is closely tied to social anxiety disorder, with high comorbidity rates. But there is no consensus on the causes of SM.

People with SM are likely to have a family member with SM or with another anxiety disorder.

🌹Here is a list of many attributes and symptoms/effects of SM.

🌹 Selective mutism is the official term for the disorder. It was thought to be an improvement on the previous name: 'elective mutism', (check out history of the name) in clarifying that the person is Not choosing not to speak. But many people with sm reject the name 'selective' because it makes it seem like we select to be mute (the name is intended to refer to the selective nature and effects of our anxiety, and how we are mute in select situations). Many prefer the name 'situational mutism' to emphasise that we are not choosing to be mute. But many also don't mind, or even prefer the term 'selective'. I use both!

🌹 SM is not just mutism! It affects all forms of communication. In my opinion, he official dsm definitions of sm merely focus on what is a problem for Other people, rather than focusing on how it affects the selectively mute person.

People with SM may have a blank face and appear frozen, due to the freeze response to anxiety. But some people with SM alternatively display a wide variety of facial expressions, gestures and body language, in order to communicate. We don't always look like your idea of a 'shy person'; despite being anxious and unable to speak, some of us look aggressive, standoffish, bored, blank, tired, happy, etc etc. This leads to underdiagnosis of SM.

Many times parents hide diagnoses or refuse to recognise them, because they think this gives the child an 'excuse' not to speak. or that it will 'get in the child's head'; really this is wrong and people with SM deserve support and access to treatment.

🌹 Traumatic vs selective mutism. SM varies and can be low profile.

#situational mutism #selective mutism #social anxiety disorder #mentalheathawareness #mental health awareness #sm tag #actually mentally ill #awareness month #october month tag

[bluegiragi]

Question, what do you Headcanon the sexuality of the boys personally?

And do you picture any of them having previous relationships before they all met?

Konig: Pansexual (just wants to be dommed, doesn't mind who). Due to his size, a lot of people expect him to take the lead and combining that with his natural social anxiety...I don't think he's had much experience in relationships. Maybe one or two doe-eyed encounters, but nothing super long term.

Ghost: Pansexual. Used to have a preference for feminine people, that is no longer the case. I don't think he's ever had a partner for very long, whether due to his insecurity and trauma, or because of his commitment to his career. Honestly speaking, I believe he would've been pretty flippant on romantic ties in general before Johnny came along - I think it makes sense if Ghost just sat down one day and resigned himself to a life of being alone outside of the occasional no-strings-attached fuck. It's sad, but between his memories of his parents and all the shit that's happened to him, I think deep down he doesn't believe he has it in him to love someone properly. Like he's just got all the wrong parts for it. It's what makes Soap's existence so infuriating to him at first - Johnny shatters the idea that it's just not an option for him, and that idea used to simplify things.

Soap: Gay. Figured it out when he was pretty young, came out to his parents and found (eventual) acceptance. Had a secret high school boyfriend who was closeted and ended up breaking things off due to catholic guilt (woohoo! religious trauma) and saying the whole thing was just 'a phase'. After that, Johnny turned away from pursuing relationships within his current community. Definitely has had a lot of one-night-stands in his life, lots of behind-the-bar trysts. A couple on again and off again relationships (military deployment makes long term commitment difficult) but nothing stuck for long until Ghost. Is the only one out of the three of them that has a very good idea of what is his type. Figures.

#mind you this is all headcanon #and very indulgent headcanon at that #y'all are free to interpret how you like <3 #askbox #anon

[astrolovecosmos]

Exalted Planets

When a planet is exalted in a sign that means its energy is easily expressed through it. There is potential and motivation when a planet is exalted. While mostly considered a favorable placement, even when planets are exalted, they still have challenges they may face.

Sun in Aires is exalted, this is the easiest place for the Sun. This makes since considering Aries is closely tied to individuality, independence, forwardness, assertiveness, and confidence. The Fire element is very self-focused but Aries tends to carry the stereotype the most. They do represent the head of the body, beginnings, the first, the winner, there is a special self-interest and definition of self for this sign. It is all about personality and ego in a very raw form. But Aries can still worry about what others think - they may care from a more selfish point of view, but they aren't totally immune to self-doubt. This is an impatient and brash sign, and due to their focus on competition, conflict, wants, and ambition they may lack introspection or easily be blinded to their flaws.

Moon in Taurus is exalted, this placement for the Moon is comfortable. The Taurus Moon is steady, takes their time making decisions, can find inner security, and relies on their down-to-earth strength and intuition. They can easily get in touch with both their creativity and practicality. But Moon in Taurus can be incredibly stubborn and find it hard to change their mind - especially about how they feel. They can be naturally cautious, but this can sometimes be pushed to the extreme of being suspicious. Taurus's traits of jealousy, possessiveness, and materialism can still exist here. Moon in Taurus can have a deep insecurity surrounding stability and wanting.

Mercury is exalted in Virgo, Mercury is expressed with ease here but is also refined. Mercury is still quick-witted, clever, curious, and can have a silver-tongue in Virgo - but Mercury in Virgo is also more patient, logical, practical, and efficient. Mercury gets less scattered in Virgo, it is still flexible, funny, maybe gossipy, and certainly smart, but attentive and detail oriented. But Mercury in Virgo can over think, have a lot of restless energy or anxiety, their perfectionist trait can be both a pro and con, and their critical side can be challenging, they likely are their biggest critic. Because Virgo is sometimes sourced as being associated with prudence, shyness, humility, and being accommodating it may surprise that talkative and social Mercury is most comfortable here. But maybe this placement can help clear up misunderstanding for the sign, also it is important to remember Mercury doesn't just rule communication.

Venus is exalted in Pisces, Venus here gets to be the hopeless romantic, the poet, the dreamer, the artist, the lover. Venus in Pisces is very romantic, is imaginative, giving, self-sacrificing, likely affectionate, passionate, and adaptable. Venus in Pisces is not afraid of intimacy in fact this placement is known for trying to join or become one with a partner, sometimes at risk of losing themselves in a partner. Pisces has sometimes been referred to as the one sign that can seem to be compatible with any other sign (Gemini also has gotten this reputation too). But while Venus in Pisces can find it easy to get along with others and easy to love they can be used, put others on a pedestal, may fall in love with an idea or fantasy rather than the actual person, can be manipulative or easily manipulated themselves, and find it hard to separate.

Mars is exalted in Capricorn, Mars in this placement has its sh#@ together. Mars may not seem as impatient or hot-headed here but this is where the planet of war can be strategic, disciplined, thoughtful, and ambitious. While Capricorn usually has a reputation for being cold know this placement is still fully assertive, hungry, and sensual. Mars in Capricorn has good judgment for being cautious and waiting vs. taking action. There can be a ruthlessness about them or a controlling side, which can be seen as flaws, but Mars being the planet of force, aggression, passion, action that can be debatable. Mars in Capricorn can sometimes lack the wisdom or luck that can come with brash decisions and instinct. They can also be hard-headed at times or rely too much on practicality or logic. Mars in Capricorn can also find it hard to express or accept their more physical and passionate side in terms of love and intimacy, despite having a high libido or having ambitious desires in relationships.

Jupiter is exalted in Cancer, expanding and generous Jupiter may feel cozy in this sign. Here Jupiter is nurturing, caring, romantic, giving, sensitive, intuitive, and creative. Jupiter is the planet of expansion and with the depths of Cancer many describe this placement has having never-ending generosity, understanding, and sympathy. Abundance comes in warm, healing waters or "killing with kindness". This placement can be loyal, protective, and craves emotional attachment. Jupiter may at times dramatize the flaws of Cancer through being over-protective, easily used by others, may have a touchy or moody side that blinds them, and their attachment may become smothering and/or toxic. There is a soothing and gentle side to this placement but there can also be a stormy side. They may indulge in emotional thrills which could turn a normally cautious and compassionate sign to more of a risk taker or reckless. This placement has potential for experiencing the human condition in a beautiful and sensitive way, they can be great counselors, teachers, and healers. This placement may learn a lot about listening to their intuition and feelings - but they have to be careful of never giving into their own ghosts and waves.

Saturn is exalted in Libra, here Saturn can stay cool-headed and logical but is lightened by this Air sign. Saturn in Libra is able to see both sides of an argument, is objective, patient, and seeks harmony. However Saturn in Libra likely seeks harmony through justice, laws, rules, and structure. This highly intellectual, independent, and calm placement has the advantage of appreciating beauty and believes in fairness but may find that they struggle with intimacy, can be overly detached or logical in relationships, and may always struggle with give and take dynamics or finding balance and equality. Here Saturn is the judge, lawyer, debater, diplomat, and mediator. Maturity involves listening to others, compromise, and cooperation. But Saturn in any sign will still struggle or be challenged when Saturn Return comes around. The relationship between self-love and self-discipline is an important lesson or theme for this placement.

***the most outer planets are debated on their exaltation, some believe all 3 (Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) have no assigned exaltation. It is also a common belief that only Pluto has no official exaltation.***

Uranus is exalted in Scorpio, in the sign of transformations + the planet of chaos and change make an intense and unpredictable placement. Here Uranus finds empowerment, liberation, freedom, and rebellion. Uranus is comfortable outside their comfort zone and it doesn't fear anything Scorpio has for it. Here someone is compelled to have a deeper understanding and curiosity for the occult, taboo, power, spirituality, or the human condition. The metaphysical is strongly connected to this placement. Uranus in Scorpio soars high and swims deep. Their "higher mind" is focused on intuition and emotional power and understanding. Here Uranus can also become manipulative, cruel, power hungry, and emotionally draining. Here selfishness and separation can be intertwined in obsession, a search for knowledge, or a desire for control. Self-destruction is not a stranger to this placement despite Uranus being easily expressed in Scorpio.

Neptune is exalted in Leo, finding joy and thrills in this sign's grandeur. Neptune is brave in their creativity, romance, and compassion when in Leo. Self-confidence, a healthy ego, bravery, and honor are important values to this group. But pride, arrogance, and illusions around the self may be their challenges. This generation can dream big and a portion of their goals may come to fruition, while others are left as impractical journeys or experiments. There is a generous and maybe righteous power and warmth about them. At best this placement inspires, motivates, protects, and respects others. At worst there are issues revolving around power imbalances, authority, selfishness, and possible self-delusions.

Pluto is commonly considered not to be exalted in any sign, but a popular theory is that it is exalted in Aries. Pluto in Aries burns a freezing fire, helps Pluto to step out of the shadows and embrace the light and flame, and gives this planet movement with decisiveness and action. Pluto can take its hidden and deep passions and intensity and allow it to shine through with Aries's bravery, openness, and independence. But Pluto in Aries may find that a temper or anger issues are related to their undoing. Aries is associated with aggression, destruction, and war. This generation may witness or be a part of many power struggles. Aries is also associated with rebirth or newness, this group may bring a lot of changes to society, they may redefine leadership, and they could reenergize movements or passions. This generation may have a selfish streak, can be insightful about selfishness vs. selflessness, may easily burn out, can struggle with asking for help or be overly independent to where it encourages isolation and unhealthy competition, may be overly focused on individuality and ego. The last time Pluto was in Aries was early to mid 1800s, the next time it will be in this sign is 2068. Because exaltation is usually seen as a positive influence - this generation may bring about many successful and beneficial changes. But because Pluto is a planet of extremes, destruction, regeneration - the negativities may be on a large scale or very intense. Pluto has also been claimed to be exalted in many other signs as well.

#planets #exaltation #astrology #zodiac #sun #moon #mercury #venus #mars #jupiter #saturn #uranus #neptune #pluto #aries #leo #taurus #pisces #capricorn #virgo #libra #cancer #scorpio

[pansear-doodles]

Which of your characters is the most emotionally stable, if any of them are even close to emotional stability

Gourmand

If I could elaborate on each one of the scugs:

Monk - Definitely knows and remembers things due to Saint's actions and has their whole backstory of losing their family.

Survivor - Has trauma from the incident and beats themself up when they fail to protect others. Certain things can trigger their PTSD.

Hunter - One of the more emotionally stable ones but isn't as strong as they are very emotionally tied to the least stable people- who in turn affects them. They have a deep fear of dying and they hide their fear with a smile.

Nightcat - Socially Anxious and closed. Has deep mounted insecurities.

Artificer - Not stable most of the time. Super protective about their friends and family and suffers from PTSD, Anxiety and Depression.

Rivulet - Has separation anxiety though they're one of the more emotionally stable ones.

Spearmaster - Emotionally stable up front but unfortunately has a lot of emotional baggage that they hide and unable to express well.

Saint - Depressed and extremely closed off. Angry. Upset. Confused. Tired.

Enot - Unable to maintain a proper social connection with anyone. Unable to maintain themselves.

Gourmand is the most stable, often optimistic and never nihilistic about things. But they do get tired when they have to be the backbone for everyone they care about.

#ask

[daisywords]

rereading Fairest bc I have my own copy now (yay $2.50 at a used bookstore!) and so far it's as lovely as I remember

but anyway I do like how Aza's "ugliness" is characterized by people actually treating her badly because of it. People talk about the stereotype of YA protagonists being like "oh poor me I'm so ugly" in an attempt to make them relatable but the narrative actually treats them like they are gorgeous and every character that isn't a villain finds them attractive.

Vs. here it's like. yeah her self perception is all tied up in cultural ideas of beauty and she's definitely not objective either, and a lot of what she thinks is inherent to her ugliness is all wrapped up her related social anxiety, etc.

but! It's very refreshing to see a book that deals so much with beauty standards actually commit to it! It's not like she's just vain and obsessed with looks! You can tell she wants to be beautiful because she wants to be treated like a person! The way it is just that blatant! Most people are rude to her or ignore her! And she makes it worse in her head and compounds the problem by letting her own insecurity draw attention to herself, but at the end of the day, she's right! People would treat her better if she looked different!

The details that we get about her appearance are not even "ugly" traits, either! Like we get the pale skin, black hair, red lips combo pulled directly from the traditional Snow White fairy tale, where those traits are supposed to be beautiful and desirable! But in this culture, apparently those traits are a part of her ugliness, which just perfectly highlights how the beauty standards are inherently arbitrary! And yet! They affect her life in real ways! It doesn't matter much how we, the reader, picture her; we believe that she is ugly because people treat her like she is!

Anyway I especially love how her insecurity regarding her size is portrayed. The combo of feeling small and meek and timid on the outside but being large and imposing on the outside. She feels like she takes up too much space. She doesn't want to wear anything at all attention grabbing. She doesn't know what to do with her limbs. Her biggest fear about demonstrating her magical singing trick is that she would have to show people how she moves her stomach (the horror!)

anyway everyone ever should read Fairest. I could write 12.5 dissertations on it. fantasy books for 12-year-old girls are the most serious fiction in the world actually

#gail carson levine #fairest #daisyreads #anyway what I'm saying is there's a reason why I kept coming back to this book as a very shy girl with a large frame #ough the way her sister is like ''and your eyes are gorgeous'' #the kind of conditional compliments. and they way people including her family that loves her acknowledge the pragmatic aspects #like yeah let's have you avoid the customer facing tasks. you could get famous with your singing if you were better looking #anyway. like being told irl when trying on clothes ''well what matters is if you feel confident'' #thanks! that's what you say to ugly people! #(for the record I do not think I'm particularly ugly. I am pretty average imo) #but I do think that I would be perceived differently in a lot of ways if I were prettier! (and smaller! oof) #and it's nice to have that acknowledged as a real thing in fiction #instead of assuring us that the protag isn't perfect looking but giving her all the pretty privileges anyway #wow I had more to say abt this than i thought lol

[not-goldy]

Nah goldy that's what i meant NOT ON STREETS and not for fans kajsjwiowlsmxjsksn

I meant among idols or celebs, inside their company where multiple groups come and go, backstage of a music show, in an award show, through common friends etc etc... I STILL THINK ITS JIMIN

I've never seen idols except 97 liners speaking about JK lol. But we have many idols who swoon over Jimin. All younger groups ask Jimin to do a challenge with them. EVEN JESSI, who's 'ideal type' was JK btw. She went in for hobi's listening party as someone who had crush on JK and came back being whipped by Jimin 😭 saying how cute and well behaved kid he is, she talked to him for a hour or something etc etc..while she didn't spoke anything about JK nor we saw even a pic of them together as JK was vibing near the stage alone. Doesn't that say enough?

Ma'am did you ask for my opinion or for me to regurgitate and validate your opinion????

You asked who is approachable to ask out on a date. I told you I find Jk more approachable.

I wud tremble at the knee if I was asked to say hi to Jm any where in this universe.

If I had to hang around him, I'll gather six of my pals and I'll make sure it was in a public space cos those one on one in person interaction with him alone- the thought of it gives me anxiety. HI Jimin.....

You never understand the stress and anxiety boys go through to ask girls out do you 😭😭😭😭😭😭

If he agreed to date me, I'll be so terrified to call him to ask how his days going so I'll never call or text or speak to him🥲

And if he called I wouldn't know how to respond without my voice cracking each time. I'd be so stressed I'll stop picking his calls and we'd go months without talking and ooh if he breaks up with me I'll jump off a cliff 😭😭😭😭😭😭

The only way I can date him is if the relationship was toxic. He'd be like I love you-

Naa, just him use me. Use me sir.

Just come take whatever you want and go, no cuddles nothing cos I'd be so nervous to put my hands around him all the time and too shy to talk to him, and too weak to say no to him.

Like my heart would be beating so fast you'll hear it all the from from the other side of the continent.

You think JK was running away from him in those early days because he wanted to???

Dude be so lost and tongue tied around him sometimes 🙄

With all the real estate dude jx stopped breathing😭😭

Even Namjoon isn't immune how much more me🤧

But back to this Ask, I feel you shifting the conversation into who's more sociable and I feel that's redundant isn't it?

Of course every one and their mother knows Jungkook is an introvert 🙄

He might be easy to approach don't mean he can chatter on and on with you in public or with people he doesn't know spontaneously- he's not a social butterfly. He's said it himself he gets awkward around people he doesn't know and can be quite reserved in public settings.

Of course you won't find lots of idols bedside his friendship group talk about him he doesn't have to wide a group that we know of💀

And everyone knows Jimin is extroverted and a social butterfly. He should be able to have long chatty conversations if he wants to.

But approachable is not the same as sociable.

But again, I feel I will enjoy Jk's company more because I don't feel a need to want to impress him. I feel like he'd be down for anything. And he's totally the type to make long intersections of silence feel less awkward.

I could literally be around him and not say a single word and that would still feel like the most fun time I've ever had cos I'm equally introverted and don't have much to say in in person interactions.

We'd talk about memes one minute and the next we'd be talking about something serious, drift into silence, suddenly burst out giggling we remembered something funny, share it with each other and go back to doing nothing- THIS IS MY DEFINITION OF IDEAL COMPANIONSHIP.

They both great individuals with great personality they just have unique expressions of those personalities. One is not more valid than the other.

Now here's the exit.

I need to go back to doing nothing

[the-everqueen]

Definitely curious about the genderflip Sandman fic 👀

SAME. as in, this is only a concept on the back burner of my brain because i haven't really worked out a satisfying answer to the central q of the thing which is: what does a gender flip DO to these characters?

because here's the thing. i think 99.9% of the time a genderswap au is unnecessary and boring. (not to mention essentialist as hell.) boys have pussies, girls have dicks, people of all genders are intersex, etc. some of us notgirls and failguys just want to vicariously experience our fave getting his clit sucked or her prostate massaged. i personally hate fics that go "but what if these [cis] dudes were [cis] GIRLS" and then proceed to strip the characters of everything that makes them compelling, that makes THEM, because at that point you might as well just flesh out your OCs and maybe interrogate your internalized misogyny and transphobia while you're at it.

anyways.

in the case of sandman, i am (transparently, obviously) curious about what happens if the Corinthian is not designed to be (read as) a man. in the comix, he very much embodies the fears and risks associated with gayness in the 90s (the AIDS epidemic, the dual violence of the closet and/or being outed, the culture around cruising, intersections of race and class with queerness in U.S. urban areas, etc). in the show that's subtly shifted to be a broader umbrella of queerness as well as a very 21st century anxiety around surveillance/public vs private that also taps into a cultural fascination with serial killers. in both cases, him reading as white, middle-aged U.S. man is a CRUCIAL part of what he signifies. he looks like (and takes advantage of being) someone with a lot of social privilege, across multiple categories. no one is going to question why he's in a fancy hotel, a conference room, a seedy bar, a suburb. OBVIOUSLY that changes if any one of these categories changes. i'm thinking about how and also what that means.

(the dreaming spinoff comix tried to do a Thing with a female Corinthian: while Coco spends a year as a real boy, a trans woman named Echo takes his place in the Dreaming. the spinoff handles Echo...really poorly. [i wrote a whole paragraph here trying to distill her arc but it's tangential to this post so suffice to say: it was Bad.] Echo is posed as this "femme fatale" type because i guess if the Corinthian is a woman, she'd also have to be sexy and alluring to the (heterosexist) male gaze. imho this was a cop-out, but then again...what about that spinoff wasn't.)

on some level i'm not sure the Corinthian could ever be anything besides the Corinthian, if that makes sense. as in, if you change anything about him, maybe then he ceases to be the Corinthian and becomes something else entirely. Dream can take different forms (and Overture has a femme!Dream) because stories can take different forms across cultures and times and species. but the Corinthian is intrinsically tied up in humanity and its biomythic nature. and what we think of as Human, as Sylvia Wynter reminds us, is very much tied up in narratives around identity including race, gender, and class.

at the same time my id absolutely wants a butch lesbian Corinthian who uses he/him pronouns. mostly because lesbian and wlw sex STILL gets dismissed or sanitized or erased or pathologized, even though queer women remain subject to state, police, and domestic violence at higher rates than their straight and/or cis counterparts. (also yes i'm counting my trans hermanas y primas, t*rfs can fuck right off.) but also because i'm a fagdyke with religious trauma who relates very hard to god's failed masterpiece.

#ask box #genderflip au #violetoftheendless #like i am also 100% here for a corinthian who was not created as a man but who makes himself #i'm here for a coco who has gender questions #CLEARLY the endless aren't thinking of gender from a binary pov so dream's creations aren't necessarily either #but like. coming to terms with what gender and sexuality mean TO YOU as a person who isn't supposed to be a person... #themes i am interested in! #um. mutuals feel free to ask me to tag this for any cw or tw as needed. #this is me word-vomiting while i'm jittery on too much caffeine and not enough food so like. #sandman #the corinthian

[broomsick]

Is it alright if I ask you for some guidance on connecting with the Norse pantheon? I'm entering into a really scary time in my life, grappling with going to college in the city despite being (up until now) a lifelong country bumpkin and possibly even moving out for the first time, all while being a timid autistic person with a terrible anxiety disorder.

Basically if there's ever a time I'd need the gods to be present in my life it's now, but I still struggle to feel connected with them sometimes. I still connect with them, I've had dreams where I talk with Odin and Thor and Freyr, but I can't say they're a completely consistent part of my life. Sometimes I even question if they're really protecting me, even though I know that's almost certainly the anxiety talking.

Is there anything you'd recommend doing to connect with the gods during a really stressful time? I have a very small and honestly not very impressive altar so maybe I should work to spruce that up more. Any guidance would be appreciated, sorry for bothering you 🙏 Thanks!

Hi there! First of all, I want to tell you that moving out is indeed scary, and it's very brave of you to consider moving so far! I definitely understand your situation, as I haved struggled with anxiety pretty much forever. Unfortunately, being a pagan with this sort of mental health challenge can bring about a lot of insecurity. And I find that sometimes, it can also make us feel disconnected from our spirituality. I don't think that this is something we can completely overcome. As a matter of fact, I find that it's better to ask yourself "why do I feel this way right now?", rather than say "I should be feeling this way, so why don't I?". What I learned with time is that our day-to-day circumstances affect our spirituality more than we think. For example, I often start to feel disconnected from my spiritual life when I've had a stressful week at work, or even just when I try too long and too hard to connect with the Gods. And on top of that, with social media being the way it is, people cant help but compare themselves with pagans who have more time and money on their hands. Now, I'm no expert on all things psychology, but I do know about spirituality. And I know that it comes and goes in waves: every single polytheist I've met experiences moments when they don't feel as connected to their Gods as they used to. Even those whose very career was tied to their spiritual practices. But those are not bad news! It only means that you have a healthy relationship with spirituality, and that you're not letting it overshadow the other important aspects of your life.

But more on the tips to stay connected to the Gods. What I know for certain is that sometimes, we have no control over how connected we feel to them. But there are a lot ways for you to keep them close to your heart. The first, in my opinion, is to make your spirituality into a safe and happy place. Find ways to make it fun! By listening to music that feels spiritual to you, writing down prayers or devotional poems when you’re inspired, wearing a piece of jewelry in their honor, making a Pinterest board into a little online shrine, drawing a rune or sigil which represents them on your skin, making art of the deities you love… In other words, don’t be afraid to mix your passions and your faith. No matter how “casual” it may feel! Sometimes, “casual” is what we can manage given our busy lives (which is why the size of your altar does not matter, it’s the love you pour into tending it that makes all the difference). It’s both perfectly normal and healthy. And if something about your practice/belief doesn’t feel right anymore, simply let go of it. Same goes if you don’t resonate with something that every other pagan seem to do.

Another tip I can give you is to simply try (don’t worry, I will elaborate). By this, I mean adopt simple gestures to honor them, even if there might not necessarily be a response. I find that this is especially important in moments when you struggle to feel the presence of your Gods. Leave them a small portion of your dinner every now and then. Do a little bit of research on this or that deity when you can. And if you’ve got the time, offer them a fruit, or a cup of coffee! Anything will do, no matter how small. Light a candle for them every night (routine helps a lot), and pray if you’ve got something on your mind. It’s normal not to see some sort of immediate response. But if you look around yourself during the day— if you look at the sunset on your way home from work, at the trees that rustle with the wind, or at the rain pouring outside your window—, and if you listen carefully to what people tell you, you might start to notice some signs. Recurring patterns and omens are a typical example of signs that a deity might send. It’s also fun to draw parallels between every day things and your deities. For example, to think of Freyr when you tend a cute new house plant. Or to pray to Skaði during a snowstorm! I have always loved “inviting” deities to witness certain events, so as to share the joy with them. I simply close my eyes, focus of the deity I want to call out to, and speak their name aloud, or murmur it. Actually, if you’re interested in this topic, I have written this post, which could be helpful to you!

Don’t be afraid to keep trying, that’s my most important tip. There’s really not much else we can do when we feel disconnected from our faith. Make your belief into something that feels right. Spirituality should be a happy place for you, and not a reason for worry. You deserve for your practice as a norse pagan to feel joyful and fulfilling. Above all, don’t force anything: these sorts of moments are inevitable. I’ve known them myself, and so has every other pagan. But things will get better soon, that I guarantee!

#norse paganism #norse gods #deities #paganism #deity work #polytheism #heathenry #spirituality #ask #asks

[olderthannetfic]

"you cant think that we live in a rape culture, that it is wrong and we should fight against it and also think its ok to fantasize about raping someone" - oh brother someone shoot me. A person a followed for while now just went off about how "some kinks aren't ok" and "theres a world of difference between someone who thinks armpits are hot and someone who is a rape, pedophile, or incest fetishist." Like whats so hard to understand that a) you don't have a right to know about peoples private sex lives, and as long the sex is consensual (and actually consensual and not coerced in anyway) who cares it doesn't effect you.(oh and if justs you masturbating and theres no real people involved its literally always consensual cause its literally just you) And also b) liking something in fiction is not the same as liking it in real life, rape fantasies are ridiculously common and there's no evidence that they symptoms of a person wanting to be rapist or that they generate future rapist. You want fight rape culture, fight against the idea that men are owed/deserve sex not that I find it hot when a fake person is molested or is in a position where they cant say no. Do antis not understand that you can like something because its fake not just in-spite of it being fake. Like I've been in real life shit situations and shockingly it didn't make me horny just scared. Actually my kinks are very much tied my social anxieties, a fear of mine is what I'd do if someone wants to have sex me or worse thinks I want to have sex with them and I don't really want it. also I know that in fight, flight or freeze shit I definitly freeze. Anxious me just sits there in a panic and if I was ina situatin where someone was inapropiate theres a good chance I would have no idea what to do and Id just stop and then be to embarrassed to saying anything about it. And in fact after learning all this about my self I am more confident about saying no and setting boundaries and yet abusive power dynamics still turning me on. well fake ones. When I hear about a teacher taking advantage of a student or sexual harrassment at a work place I have very different feelings about it becuase it is real and horrible and not fucking porn! Shocking if todoroki inkhearted into reality I wouldn't jump his bones, - this anon got really long but I didn't realize how annoyed I was until I started typing lol sorry about that

--

"Wah wah, rape fantasies bad" is just about the most common stupidass opinion amongst the kink haters. Definitely blockworthy.

[specialinterestshows]

Meet a new OC in my Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic.

Warnings for this section: Cannabis (weed), alcohol, social anxiety

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Absolute Smokeshow (Part 53): Shot, Lime, Salt?

"Do we have to go to the same one?" you complain, remembering how crowded the club was when you first met Rhea there. Your friends had dragged you out again - some of them were newly single and you had grudgingly agreed to be a wingwoman.

"We definitely do. Do you remember that bartender from last time?” the voice was that of your friend who was driving, “If I'm not interested in anyone at the club, I want to shoot my shot with her."

"You know bartenders get hit on all the time, right?” another friend chimed in, “She's probably swatting ladies away all night. Besides, that was months ago."

"Well it's too late to go anywhere else now,” the driver declared triumphantly, “We're here!"

"Can you park somewhere we can hotbox?” you request, already apprehensive as the car pulls into the parking lot, “I'm no help to anyone if I'm an anxious mess."

"Didn’t you get yourself a girlfriend last time you were an anxious mess at the club?” another friend chimed in.

You sigh before saying, "Let me rephrase: joint first, club second. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.”

One joint later, you’re walking into the club with your friends and are relieved to see it isn’t quite as crowded as the last time you were here. Hotboxing was still a good idea, though - you needed to be as relaxed and easygoing as possible if you were going to be around this many pretty people.

“So, how are we doing this?” you ask the group. Looking around at everyone, you watch as two of your number leave the group, each headed toward their own desired cutie. Three of you were left, counting yourself. The other two were the shyest of the group and the woman who drove everyone to the club. The latter was notoriously particular about her partners - you were surprised she even wanted to chat up the bartender, until you remembered your friend might easily lose interest as soon as she started talking to her.

While your assistance was clearly needed more with your shy friend, you were grabbed by the wrist and dragged in the direction of the bar before you could protest.

"She's working tonight!" your friend squeals excitedly, "We're definitely getting drinks."

Looking behind you, the sight of the third member of your small party following you is a comfort.

"You can get a drink," you tell her as the two of you approach the bar, "You're not even going to check out anyone else?"

"Already have," she insisted.

"Why am I even here?" you huff, "You have this handled."

"Moral support!" she pouted.

Sighing, you shake her grip and the three of you sit at the bar. Looking over, you watch as your more intrepid friend sets her eyes on the bartender, puts her elbows on the counter, and squeezes her breasts together while leaning in.

"Excuse me!" she calls out, making the bartender look up.

Turning to look at your friend's latest interest, you can see why she remembered this woman: Her deep brown eyes had a mischevious gleam to them; her dyed, curly red hair was tied back to show an undercut and tattoos peeking out from the back collar of her shirt; and two snake bite piercings accentuated her full lips, currently shaped to a casual grin as she approached the counter.

"What can I get you?" the bartender addressed your friend.

"Sex on the beach," she replied in a sultry voice, then, "Oh, but I should probably order a drink first."

Judging by her reaction - or lack thereof - the bartender was used to this. Keeping a professional tone, she said, "Sorry, hon, but all I can help you with is your drink order."

"Can't blame a gal for trying," you friend shrugs, seeming less interested by the second, "Shot of vodka, please."

Movement in your periphery made you look over to see your other friend holding up two fingers.

"Two shots," the bartender nodded then looked at you asking, "Or three?"

"Just water for me, thanks," you insist, feeling cotton mouth setting in.

"Two shots and a water coming up," she said, winking at you. Feeling your face grow warm, you look down at her name tag before she turns around to get your drinks: "Marisol" and underneath, in smaller text, "she/her".

"Well that was disappointing," your friend sighed as soon as Marisol was out of earshot, “Who am I going to flirt with now?”

“Your life is truly one tragedy after another,” you joke as the bartender comes back, carrying your drinks.

“Thank you, Marisol,” you say as she sets down the drinks.

“Just doing my job, cariño,” she says, looking you over and biting her lip, “Let me know if you need anything else.”

You watched Marisol stroll over to the other side of the counter to help take the order of what looked like a sweet couple in their honeymoon phase, only barely processing what your friend was saying.

“Huh?” you ask, prying your eyes away from the bartender’s curves.

“I said, why did she put an umbrella in your water?” your friend seems personally offended, “I mean, it’s just a water.”

Sure enough, there was a small rainbow umbrella sitting on the edge of your glass, propped up by the ice.

“I’m not sure,” you admit, picking up the small adornment and twirling it around between your fingers before taking a long sip of your drink.

By the time your friends had finished their shots and ordered (then downed) another each, the club had gotten noticeably more crowded. Much as you tried to fight it, your anxiety was beginning to creep up again.

“I need to get some air,” you say, having to speak a bit louder than before as you rise from the bar stool, “Going to go out for a smoke.”

“Want some company?” a voice behind you says.

Turning around, you see Marisol on your side of the bar and do a double-take.

“I finished my shift,” she laughed at your reaction, “Someone else is taking over the bar for the rest of the night.”

You could feel your friend giving you an incredulous look, but kept your eyes on Marisol as she continued, “I know a good place in the lot to sit and smoke. I have bud to share, too.”

“Lead the way,” you reply, blushing when she grabs your hand and gently guides you in the direction of the exit.

[end part fifty-three]

Part 54: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/731757195338940416/absolute-smokeshow-part-54-of-mari-wanna

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Tag List (thank you!)

@cherryberryshine , @littlemiss-fanficlover , @elisewithak , @babybatlover , @girlofpink , @kagome2909 , @domripley , @wiccanpriestess

#wwe fanfiction #the judgment day #rhea ripley #rhea ripley x reader #weed #lady!reader #the judgement day #specialinterestshows presents #absolute smokeshow