#it's called adaptation bbs they don't have time for everything

[waitmyturtles]

Jumping into the Cooking Crush familial fray...

I've lately been a bit behind on all my dramas, but I did see percolating over the weekend a great conversation among drama friends and fiends about interpretations of Asian parenting tactics, family values, interfamily communication, and intergenerational trauma regarding Cooking Crush.

This past weekend's episode 11 seemed to bring up a lot. I feel like one of my Reasons for Being on Tumblr is to share thoughts on Asian family dynamics, structures, and tensions regarding our beloved Asian dramas, so I am simply going to add a few extra thoughts to @neuroticbookworm's absolutely FANTASTIC post here that meditates on the ongoing conflict between Ten and his father.

Before I jump into NBW's amazing post, I want to linky-poo some previous writing that I've done on Asian cultural touchpoints in other shows:

Poor Bad Buddy got the Asian analytical treatment here and here

Only Friends and Mew's lesbian moms being Asian moms first, here

A meditation specifically on BBS's Dissaya and saving face, here (which, in regards to her conflict with Ming, we should note, directly led to her literally sending her son physically away from her to continue the family feud)

When I watch our beloved Asian shows, as an Asian-American, I am clicking unconsciously into certain assumptions about how Asian parents and children WILL behave when parents are called for in a show (I emphasized this specifically in my OF piece about Mew's moms). I expect there to be either filial piety present, or struggles with it. I expect to see elder hierarchy and/or issues with elder respect. I expect to see issues regarding saving face. I expect to see issues regarding conditional love, and how a child should act so a parent may boast and/or save face with their external social circles. I expect to see issues regarding independence and parental control over... just about everything in a child's life, from their education to their partners. (Think of King's parents in Bed Friend, and how his parents were ready to arrange a marriage for him; Tian's parents sending him to America in A Tale of Thousand Stars, etc.)

Shows that DON'T deal with these issues -- shows that have wonderfully understanding parents, like Thun's mom in He's Coming To Me, and Pete's dad in Dark Blue Kiss, are also realistic, because of course, nothing is universal, and there are understanding and unconditionally loving parents in every culture.

But most of the Asian shows that we watch have themes like filial piety and elder respect/control present, and it's up to the show's writers to figure out how these elements play into the plots that they're writing.

Through @neuroticbookworm's post, I see that some in the Cooking Crush fandom are calling for Ten's dad to apologize for his hypocrisy in calling Ten out for hitting Chang Ma, while we have seen Ten's dad slapping Ten.

I want to get into how Ten engages with his father in a second, because it's pretty rare in Asian shows to see a child so directly combative, so consistently, with a parent figure. But before that, NBW makes an excellent point with the following:

But, I understand it when my friends, and Asian characters in TV shows, don’t want to force things out in the open if it can be swept under the rug for the time being, because peace of mind in Asian households is fleeting and you would be wise to take what you get.

This is a very important point that those of us in the social services are hammered with -- in other words, how do individuals, as they are growing up, adjust their behaviors to keep the stability of their family bonds either strong, or at least not weak enough to break? How does a child learn to adapt and/or cope for the sake of the other older individuals in their families who DEMAND compliance with their own emotional needs?

Ten has a combative relationship with his father -- but he's still done everything his father has asked for, save for staying away from Prem. As @respectthepetty previously noted, Fire becomes submissive around pressure and high-tension individuals and situations -- because that's how he's learn to cope vis à vis his mother and his upbringing.

This framing -- these specific, generational, tension-informed family dynamics that we see ad nauseam in Asian dramas -- do not lead to an automatic assumption among Asian audiences that apologies would emanate from the parental generation. Especially because the previous generational paradigm is that children have and should go along with the flow of parental control and demands -- as Ten and Fire have so far done.

In Asian collectivist societies and mentalities -- to combat against that flow of control would lead to a breaking of the peace among the family unit, in NBW's words.

I would even go so far as to say that an apology from a parent is as much of a fictional ending fantasy as a perfect romantic ending. And damn, what we have to go through to get an apology. NBW brought up Double Savage, which was so awfully messy -- we got a parental apology only after a not-at-fault child had to unnecessarily apologize first. The show made the children work beyond basic emotional ethics to get that parental apology. That's how rare it is for us Asians to expect a parent to apologize. (And NBW notes so beautifully that even showmakers themselves may not know how to write apologies -- because they themselves may have never received one in real life.)

Considering all these family dynamics and tensions, getting a 180-degree admission of wrongdoing from an Asian parent is rare. And part of the fabric of the lives of us Asians is in sharing stories with our communities about the tensions, the trauma, the misunderstandings that we've faced from our families to be perfect and obedient in all aspects of our lives, as NBW so eloquently says about her country's culture, which includes tremendous control over the sexual lives of children. That's why I go to Asian shows over Western media -- so that I can experience some of that communing over commonalities in fiction.

I want to make one final quick point about Ten's behavior towards his dad, which we see is abrupt and combative. Ten's got some gumption to talk to his father like that, which, me likey, but it's rare to see in Asian shows. Of utmost importance to note is that their history is marked by a severely traumatic event in the death of Ten's mom, which is guaranteed to have had a lifelong impact on the bond between Ten and his dad, and colors their relationship. I know that's obvious by way of the dialogue, but what we see in this outburst is a kind of marked ending to a journey map of his life's experience that got him to the point of the fight. (@neuroticbookworm, I'm stealing your screenshots, thank yew, friend!)

This fight had A LOT IN IT. It was about saving face, about the embarrassment that Ten's dad knows the slapping event will cause on Ten and Ten's friends (and, frankly, Ten's dad himself). It was about Ten's childhood trauma in losing his mother and his anger with his father for his father's actions. It was a revelation that Ten's dad had actually acted, in his own way, and failed at saving Ten's mom. It was about Ten's performance in school, and how Ten says that he has indeed been keeping up with his father's standards. And a whole lot more.

I'm betting money on at least some people -- maybe many people -- in Asian audiences watching this and being critical of Ten for being so combative to his father, his father being Ten's provider for education and money. THIS CRITICISM IS VERY COMMON.

While Western fandoms may celebrate performances of individualism and confrontation, many in Asian audiences will not agree with that. They will see Ten being disrespectful to a parental figure that, in our cultural mores, would arguably automatically demand respect from the start through our notions of elder respect and hierarchy.

This is, in part, because many Asians see going against the flow of familial peace as disruptive. And, anthropologically -- who are we in the West to judge that?

That's why this scene is SO FUCKING HUGE. As an American, I'm like, fuck yeah, read this fucking dad out for filth. As an Asian, I'm like, WHOAAAAAAAAAA. For real.

AND? THE ENDING of this fight -- with Ten's dad making one actually good point about how Ten's punch will affect his friends?

That's collectivism again. That's Ten's dad helping Ten to grow in that moment and recognize that Ten's actions affect other people. That shit is complicated, and I believe it's 100% intended to be complicated.

The dad is still clearly a hypocrite. I do not think that we get that entire fight scene without the show commenting on Ten's dad's hypocrisy that one's actions have impacts on others. Ten's dad is not clicked into his own collectivism, and I believe the show calls him out for it. If that scene only wanted to call out Ten -- we would have only seen that last part about Prem and Prem's friends. We would not have gotten all that other backstory, all the threads in this incredible fight scene.

It was a hell of a well-done scene. And I very much believe that scene is symbolic of this entire show -- marketed as a comedy, friends! -- being insidiously about very complicated family bonds, and depicting the struggles of these bonds just brilliantly.

This show is DIGGING THE HELL into the family backgrounds of characters experiencing tremendous life changes -- including MEDICAL STUDENTS! THE CREAM OF THE CROP FOR ASIAN PARENTS! -- and showing how these pressures can make young adults crumble or resilient.

I didn't mean to write so long, but alas -- y'all talk about Asian families, and I gotta yap. Thank you for letting me throw some coins in the pot, and to offer some thoughts about what us Asians are clicking into in our beloved Asian shows.

Tagging @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @respectthepetty, @heretherebedork, and @williamrikers for enlightening convos this weekend, and many thanks to my dear Asian friendo @neuroticbookworm for one hell of a meditation that I enjoyed and related to deeply.

#cooking crush #cooking crush meta #cooking crush the series #cooking crush the series meta #offgun #off jumpol #gun atthaphan #tenprem #ten x prem #prem x ten #asian family dynamics #asian family structures #intergenerational trauma in asian families #intergenerational trauma #long post

[linkspooky]

Hi! I saw your tags about Tara in Teen Titans comics--I'm only familiar with the cartoon series. How do your feelings about Tara compare in the show vs. the comics? I ask since I noticed you mentioned that Tara never really cared about BB, which I think is obviously changed in the show, and I wonder how you feel about that.

They're both good? They're both good! I think one thing people forget about comic book characters vs. adaptations of comic book characters, is that comic books were always intended to be a collaborative medium that builds on itself through the work of multiple authors and interpretations. Thus, you can have multiple versions of the same character who have the same core but don't really have to be exactly the same. This is why it is kind of silly when people get upset animated adaptations make changes from the original source material because that's kind of the point, in a collaborative medium, you're going to get another author's take on the same character.

Since you asked I can give you an analysis on the core ideas of Teen Cartoon Terra vs. Comics Terra, and also her relationship with Beast Boy in both versions.

1. GWEN STACY

So, I once talked about how Terra was always intended by her creators to die, but that's not necessarily offensive or fridging her character because Terra's still a character with a lot of narrative agency. Terra is the main character of her story, it's just her story happens to be a tragedy. That is true for both versions.

Before the start of the story her fate is sealed. This is what you call doomed by the narrative. George Wolfram and Glen Murakami have both given interviews explaining as such. Albeit, for different reasons.

Comics Terra was essentially made to deconstruct a lot of comic book tropes. I lovingly call her "Asshole Kitty Pryde." From conception she was going to be the spunky new kid with mutant powers who joined the titans at fifteen and immediately became friends with everyone... except she was evil all along.

George’s strength was he also understood the characters 100 percent as I did so there was never any question. He knew. We had talked enough about the characters to know we were exactly on the same page with them. So I said, “Everyone keeps complaining that we’re like the X-Men” and the X-Men had just gotten Kitty Pryde. I said, “Why don’t we really screw around with them completely?” — this is the fans — “…and make them think we’re stealing Kitty Pryde only she’s gonna be bad from Day One.”

Of course this is where authorial intent differs from like, what actually ended up happening in the story. Worlfram's intent was to always make Terra have no reason for her actions, the tragic backstory she feeds the teen titans is kind of embellished and made up, she decided to become a mercenary all on her own, she wants to work with Slade and is even trying to seduce him. However, Terra still comes off as horribly tragic despite their intentions and other authors have since then picked up on their subtext.

Like, I genuienly think the intention was to just write her as pure evil, but instead what they got was writing her as a bad victim. That is, the kind of victim that presents incredibly unsavory and unlikable reactions to their abuse instead of either being kinder than their abusers, remaining pure and chaste like Cinderella or just waiting to be saved. Terra's not a passive victim nor is she waiting for sympathy, she hurts people the way she has been hurt, she maipulates the way she has been manipulated. Terra's been beaten down and now her goal is to come out on top. I believe the reason why she came out this way has a lot to do with Perez and Wolfram sticking to their guns and never giving her a redemption arc.

The very first time we see her, she’s trying to blow up the Statue of Liberty. It’s just that all the fans assumed because we went out of our way to make her cute — but not too cute, with the buck teeth and everything — everyone would assume that she was gonna become good by the end and that was never the case.

First thing, we made a promise that day that we would never renege on our view that she’d never become good. It’s sometimes hard to do that with characters you like. You want them to become good or something like that. But we never liked the character enough—because we knew what we were doing with her—we never allowed ourselves to fall for the character. Because that’s bad. That’s bad storytelling. You’re doing what you want as a fan at that particular point, not as the creators. The fans had to accept what we were doing and not do the same stories that they had read 14,000 times before. You know, at Marvel, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch were villains who became good guys and I could go through a whole list of ’em.

Their commitment to the bit meant that Terra’s story became what was essentially Greek tragedy at that point. Terra was always fall and because of that, Wolfram and Perez dedicate a lot of time in the story showing the audience exactly what all of her flaws are and why those flaws are the reason for that fall. They committed to their creative decisions when writing this character, which is why Terra ends up being such a strong character, especially for the time. Of course there were female villains, but they weren’t really allowed to be complex victims to the degree that Terra is, have her entire range of negative traits, have her flaws fully on display and then still have it be a tragic ending when she does not get saved. 

Gwen Stacy was always going to die, and Terra was never going to be redeemed. I do not believe either of those cases are fridging because sometimes characters die in fiction, and sometimes they contribute more ot the story dead than they do alive. Terra’s the first real loss for the Teen Titans, it also came on the cusp of a time in DC where teenage superheroes and sidekicks started to die (Cough, Cough, Jason Todd). Under the Red Hood and Judas Contract are such effective and lasting comic book storylines because they are such tightly written tragedies  yes... both of them depict a bad victim who does not get saved (even though that is the whole point of both arcs). 

Terra is in fact, probably more comparable to Under the Red Hood Jason than she is Gwen Stacy because she is number one a teenager with problems who probably should not have been made a superhero in the first place, and two a trauma victim who copes by manipulation and violence to try to reclaim control of their lives. But, to bring the Gwen Stacy comparison back. Gwen Stacy was always going to die, Terra was always going to die, but unlike Gwen Stacy Terra is not anyone’s love interest she is the protagonist. Peter Parker fails to save Gwen because the Green Goblin attacked her, she was killed to hurt Peter Parker. Terra pulls the arena down on herself and buries herself alive in Samson and Delilah-esque fashion at the end of her own personal tragic arc. 

To get to the real differences between the two characters though, characterization wise, I think both versions start with the same central concept, this is a troubled teenager who should never have been made a hero. 

Terra is a deeply troubled teen, however the way she copes in both versions are wildly different, almost opposite. I like to say cartoon Terra has like, at any moment five different personalities, while comics Terra has no personality. 

2. Runaway Girl

To elaborate on this, cartoon Terra’s entire character revolves around how unstable her sense of self is, due to never having any stability in her life. The cartoon is actually very purposeful in showing in both imagery and metaphor Terra’s splintered sense of self. The first few lines of dialogue introducing her are this. 

“She’s not in trouble, she was leading it into a trap.”  “Question is, who is she?” Slade: “Don’t get too attached my young friend, I saw her first.” 

Said by the Titans and then Slade. Even in the first lines introducing her, not only is the question of who she is asked, but Slade immediately tries to claim her from the titans. Later on in the show, the way Terra acts around the Teen Titans as a group, the way Terra acts when she is with Slade, the way Terra acts when alone with Beast Boy, the way Terra acts when alone with Raven are all wildly different versions of herself, to the point where it’s hard to believe she’s the same girl sometimes. 

This is even apparent in the first episode before Slade even gets to her. Terra insists that she enjoys sleeping outside, she enjoys running from place to place, she doesn’t really want a place to stay for the night, she’s presenting herself as some sort of self-reliant and worldly traveler instead of what she really is, a homeless runaway kid. Terra is attempting to appear calm, cool, and responsible and she is absolutely none of these things, and she’s pretty transparent about it too. She cool girls herself so people will like her. The second she is alone in Beast Boy and loses control of her powers for 30 seconds, she immediately crashes, starts berating herself and her self esteem sinks to the bottom of the ocean. 

Trust, is something constantly brought up again and again with Terra’s character though I would say Terra despite literally being the main character of an arc called the Judas Contract, despite betrayal being the one thing she is known for... always sees herself as getting betrayed first. Which is why she overreacts to the perception that Beast Boy broke a promise to keep her powers safe in the first episode. Terra doesn’t trust people at all. Though, to trust people and form healthy relationships with them, you actually have to be a fully developed and well-rounded person which Terra is not. Terra is basically a foster kid who has been through several families before this, waiting for her current one to dump her. She has interanlized the idea that there is something wrong with her that makes this rejection happen, but she doesn’t know how to fix it, or how to be better the kind of person that can have those healthy friendships so she dedicates herself into hiding those flaws instead. 

Terra: You don’t belong with the Titans. Terra: You don’t know anything about you. Slade: On the contrary Terra, I know everything about you. I’ve been watching you for some time. I know why you’re always running away. I know your secret, little girl.

This is also why she runs from the Titans to Slade. It’s a question I see commonly asked about cartoon Terra, if she’s meant to be more sympathetic than comic books Terra why does she willingly go to Slade instead of staying with the Titans? Which is a silly question, because you might as well be asking why do grooming victims get groomed? Why don’t they just know that groomers are bad people?

Teenagers are not grownups. Especially not Terra, a bastard child rejected by her parents who has been on the run for however many years. Terra is a teenager and a severely underdeveloped teenager at that, and she has learned to survive on the streets yes, but that’s not really the same as learning to be a functional person, who can have healthy relationships with people, and control their emotions. Children actually require parents to nurture and teach them and raise them up to be more functional adults, and they also require the stability adults in their lives provide them. 

Terra goes to Slade because he is an adult who is promising to be there for her, and give her control and stability which are things adults in her life have failed to give her. She can’t trust the Titans to give her these things because they are children one as Slade needles her into believing they cannot understand or help her, and two the way Terra has lived her life up to this point a transactional relationship with Slade makes more sense to her head than the found family the Teen Titans have based on love and trust because Terra is a stranger to both of those concepts. 

Terra is also someone who has little control over her life in general, which is why cartoon Terra is so passive in comparison to comic book Terra. In the episode Betrayal itself, Terra keeps her foot in the door about the actual betrayal the whole way, and seems to change her mind on what she wants several time. Because Terra has five different personalities. Ginger Terra, Sporty Terra, Posh Terra, Scary Terra, and Baby Terra. Terra doesn't have a cohesive sense of self so she's entirely reactive, she just does what she thinks will keep her safe in the moment. Terra wants safety and control of her powers so she goes to Slade. Terra feels guilty about what she does for the Titans so she tries to run away from Slade for the moment. Beast Boy asks her out on a date, but because Terra's betraying the Titans that night Terra says no. Five minutes later, Terra says yes. She is constantly changing her mind and contradicting herself like this.

Which is where we get to the greatest contradiction this episode, Terra betrays the titans and clearly feels guilty about it,b ut instead of say telling the Titans what she did or coming clean she just runs away. Which is where we get to the extremely subtle imagery of Terra in a house of mirrors.

Terra can't face her reflection over and over again, because she can't face herself, because she has no sense of self. She doesn't know why she does these things, but she's done them now, and she's stuck with those choices.

Terra: Beast Boy, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Beast Boy: Then why did you let it? Terra: I don't know okay, I don't know. Slade he helped me. He saved me from myself. He said I owed him. Beast Boy: So, it was all just a game. You were just pretending. Terra: No. You said you'd be my friend no matter what, remember?

This is also Terra's most honest display of remorse, and the exact moment Terra gets rejected, crying and begging for forgiveness for what she's done and after that is the point where she goes full villain. Terra goes from baby Terra, to Scary Terra. A lot of who cartoon Terra is born from fear of moments like this where she is rejected. Terra was the one who tricked Beast Boy and Beast Boy is rightfully upset of course, but in Terra's mind only able to see her own hurt feelings Beast Boy is the one who broke the promise to her. Terra internalizes the fact she cannot be forgiven at that point and seeing no other recourse goes full villain and insists she feels no guilt, she wanted to destroy the titans to begin with, it was all a lie. The complete inversion of how she acted in the betrayal episode. Terra is manipulative, spiteful, hungry for power and yes she's capable of being all of those things but one important thing is.

The second, the second Slade starts mistreating her and beating her Terra immediately wants out. It turns out it's not power or control Terra wanted at all with Slade, but the idea of safety he provided her. The moment it becomes unsafe for her she tries to leave again, because Terra is a child desperately seeking safety in a world that feels unsafe for her, and she'll find it by crushing people she perceives to be a threat if she has to.

That is Terra in a nutshell, she doesn't feel safe anywhere, or with anybody. She has no stable foundation. She is the human embodiment of the tower card in Tarot. No matter how hard she tries to trust others and trust in return, because those are basic human urges we all have, she ends up falling down. It's interesting for a character who is so famous for betrayal, how much of her arc shows she clearly wants to be accepted and trusted by others, and gets hurt at the idea of their rejection. Even the day she literally betrayed Beast Boy before taking him out on a date she asks him this.

Terra: Do you trust me? Beast Boy: More than anyone I've ever met.

I would say Terra's inability to trust doesn't come from the fact she's a bad person or a bad victim, but because she doesn't have the tools to form healthy relationships because of how seriously neglected a child she is. A part of the tragedy of Terra is because Terra cannot save herself, because she is a child. Just like how the Titans have such difficulty saving her, because they are children too and they're not really emotionally prepared to save a person as morally grey and as in need as Terra, and the only adult in the situation is Slade who is there to take advantage.

Transitioning too. Comics Terra, while cartoon Terra has too much personality, Comics Terra has too little. She was written to be a sociopath, and that's not really my term that's how the writers describe her though I can dig up evidence she shows clear signs of being capable of having attachment to people. I'd say rather than a sociopath she's more written as an enigma. Terra's motives are spurious, her actions are inconsistent, she seems to be driven by spite. She is an incredibly angry kid with a chip on her shoulder who seems to be capable of anything.

Cartoon Terra is trying to play along with other peopel's expectations to her, while comics Terra rejects everyone's expectations. She loathes cute teenage girl superheroes. She finds dressing up in costumes and fighting crime to be ridiculous in the first place. Though, I would say despite saying she clearly hates the titans, literally the next panel she displays some affection for Kid Flash.

Comics Terra isn't completely unfeeling, she's capable of forming connections to people, she has a fondness for Geo-Force her brother, Kid Flash, and sort of for Beast Boy she just never fully forms relationships with them.

Terra's not really even maintaining much of a cover with the Titans, because both with Slade and the Titans she is a rude, belligerent raunchy kid who is trying to constantly get into other people's faces. Terra is all of those things, she just when she is alone with Slade also pretends she is an adult, in an adult relationship with him. (Cough, cough, grooming victim. A victim of sexual grooming in this sense too).

Terra's written to be a sociopath yeah, or at least her writers tried too but I'd say she's more a character who the audience has little to no idea what is going on in her head. A lot of her is left ambiguous. Considering her backstory though, the rejected bastard of a king, someone who is working as a mercenary at fifteen, she clearly has not had a good life. Just like cartoon Terra she is lacking a sense of self.

However, instead of eschewing her agency, Terra takes her agency from other people. Cartoon Terra is good at manipulating when she wants to be, but Comics Terra sees the world in terms of every relatonship is transactional and based on manipulation, the world is winners and losers, the world is about who is on top and who is on the bottom. Terra lacks no real goal, or purpose, no friend, no home no loved ones she really only wants to crawl up on top of others if she has to.

Which is exactly why she gets into a relationship with Slade. Comics Terra seems to think her and Slade are equals, and that she is manipulating and using him as much as he is using her. The tragedy in this case arises from the fact that you know, Terra is a fifteen year old girl and Slade is three times her age.

There's an entire chapter where we follow around Terra montiofring people with contacts, and she's going about the titans daily lives just, telling Slade how much she hates them the whole time, but then she stops to ask Garfield why he's constantly being rude to other people and seems genuinely interested in listening to him talk about his feelings.

Terra's only out for herself, she is out to define herself and not let anyone else tell her who she is and who she should be. Terra's selfishness makes sense though considering the situation she is, she's either made to feel nothing like how she was with her family, or she is being sexually groomed by a guy three times her age. Her response to that, her extreme self interest and only caring about her own survival really is her way of fighting back against a world that she sees as trying to wear her down.

And that's a key part of her character Terra is a grooming victim who is also a bad victim. She's being groomed and her way of reclaiming her agency is to insist she wants sex, she wants to hurt people, that actually she's the one manipulating Slade. It's all Terra trying to assert control in a situation where she has none. I don't know if you know this, but a fifteen year old can't manipulate a guy in his fifties who has been doing this for years. Terra also, projects a lot of her hate for her situation and her lot at life at the Titans.

They did not do anything wrong to her, but at the same time she's pretty cosntantly unhappy with them, she complains none of them like her, she complains about their lack of trust, I believe that's less Terra trying to infiltrate them and more Terra herself either believing she cannot fit in anyhwere or as a person who only believes in transactional relationships and manipulation just not understanding how family works.

Terra also acts like dangerously unstable at all times, there's a point in the comics where Beast Boy gets way too aggressive with his flriting, that he full on triggers what resembles a PTSD response in her and she tries to bury him alive.

At times like this when Terra is made to feel she's either not the one with the power here, or being looked down upon she asserts herself with violence to desperately try to regain control. It is not healthy by any means, but it is still the behavior of someone who is coping incredibly poorly. Terra relies on fear and control to make herself feel safe at times like this, because she's not been shown love early on in her life and by this point she genuinely does not understand it. And also I cannot emphasize this enough as a victim of sexual grooming, Terra is pretty much not ever safe, or in a situation where she has bodily agency or control.

Terra in the cartoon dies in a heroic sacrifice, whereas Terra in the comics dies because she loses control of her power and essentially suicides. If anything the tragedy here is that Terra is someone who never learned to be a girl properly, nor was she appreciated as a human being and because of that she formed her entire sense of self around her powers. She is a child, and never having been allowed to be one, and not knowing how to live in this world, form relationships with people, trust and be trusted she dies as a child. Terra once again has nothing solid to build herself on, and because of that the tower falls down.

3. Terra and Beast Boy

In the cartoon Terra and Beast Boy are clearly meant to be in a relatoinship, in the comics Terra claims to have hated him all along, but arguably she could have been fond of him.

In both versions the relationship is entirely wrong headed from the start. A lot of it has to do with Beast Boy's flaws as a character. I wrote on and on how immature of an individual Terra is, and Beast Boy as the youngest on the team shares many of those immature and selfish traits. IN the comic itself that seems to be the reason why Beast Boy and Terra are paired together, they are the closest in age, she is the new girl and the trope Terra is made to deconstruct is the cute comic book love interest.

Comic book Garfield is almost more immature than cartoon Garfield, and on top of that is a full blown male chauvinist. A lot of people do not like Wolfram/Perez Beast Boy, I kind of love him because he doesn't understand woman's boundaries and thinks he desperately needs to get into a relationship and makes them uncomfortable because he sees his flriting as harmless to them... you know like a teenage boy. Unlike most characters like this that appear in media, this quality of Beast Boy's is something that gets called out on all the time.

Terra and Beast Boy do have something in common in that they are both outsiders to the group, they are the youngest so no one takes them seriously, they are almost always stuck together, there's a scene where they're both getting tutored by a tutor Garfield's rich father hired and they're both such ADD kids no one wants to be there. She does have at least one genuine moment of connection like this one.

Their immaturity is what makes them the most similiar, but they go about the inferiority they feel towards other people in opposite ways, Terra sets out to try to prove that she is better than other people by asserting herself, while Beast Boy tries to bend over backwards to win their love.

Terra sympathizes with Beast Boy because they share the same root cause of the issue, but they cope in opposite ways and because of that she looks down on him as just another kid. Which is something Terra is desperately trying to prove she is not. Terra genuinely does go out of her way to kiss him which shows this conversation at least affected her, she has moments of being genuine around Beast Boy, but I think this and every version of Beast Boy is too immature to ever reach her. Because to return to the male chauvinist aspect of Beast Boy's character, not long after this scene he full on triggers Terra by coming on way too hard to her.

Beast Boy wants a girlfriend, to validate his feelings, to make him feel special when he feels like he is the only kid, and the one most often left behind in a group of adults. He tries to make Terra into his love interest and Terra does not want to play that role at all. There are moments where Terra is genuine with Beast Boy, and he might have been able to reach her, but Beast Boy is so obssessed with the image of Terra he has built in his head and the idea of having her he's never able to even come close to her.

Beast Boy cannot understand Terra with any sort of nuance whatsoever, because she's a woman who doesn't really want to play along with any image of her in his mind.

Their cartoon relationship is much less destructive, but really suffers from the same fundamental problem. Both the episode "Terra" and the episode "Betrayal" feature Beast Boy trying to make Terra a promise that he cannot keep. The first time he promises to keep her powers a secret, he actually keeps that one but the perception that he's betrayed her is what makes Terra run. The second time Beast Boy promises to accept her no matter what she does, only to reject her when she is openly weeping and apologizing at his feet out of remorse.

Like, if you wanted to save Terra. To convince her to turn back to the side of good there was never a time more ideal than that but Beast Boy spits in her face. Because while he's a hero he's also a fifteen year old boy feeling hurt and betrayed. This is Beast Boy's Orpheus turning back to look at Eurydice moment.

Terra: Beast Boy, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Beast Boy: Then why did you let it? Terra: I don't know okay, I don't know. Slade he helped me. He saved me from myself. He said I owed him. Beast Boy: So, it was all just a game. You were just pretending. Terra: No. You said you'd be my friend no matter what, remember? Beast Boy: Slade was right, you don't have any friends.

Beast Boy's attraction to Terra is sort of instant and a kiddie crush, but any relationship they might have had is broken by the time Terra runs away at the end of their first episode together. Afterwards Terra has already betrayed the Titans, and Beast Boy is clinging to the girl Terra appeared to be the first time they met.

Beast Boy doesn't really fully comprehend Terra, which is why the literal last episode of the series is Beast Boy stalking Terra all day long and insisting that he knows her best, and he knows certain things about her and acting confused when she tells him that she was never that way, she never liked sleeping outside, she wasn't the girl he thought she was.

I went to great length to show how Terra's emotional immaturity results in her constant flip-flopping and contradiction, but Beast Boy shows the exact same behavior. Beast Boy in the cartoon tries to play roles to Terra that he is not emotionally mature enough to play. While at the same time. The first is he tries to be the one protecting her, the one guaranteeing her stability. In the first episode he is the one who stays with Terra and calms her down after Slade triggers her into nearly causing an earthquake.

At the same time by the end of that episode he's unable to make Terra stay because she's so hurt at the idea he betrayed one secret. Beast Boy is also the same person who one episode ago told Terra that she didn't have any friends to her face when she was crying and apologizing and just left her there, and the very next episode gets angry when the titans say Terra is irredeemable. Beast Boy that was you. You said that, to her face.

Beast Boy: Terra, you're our friend. Terra: I don't have any friends, remember?

Beast Boy wants to act like a hero saving Terra, but he's not that great of a hero, nor is he emotionally mature enough to do that. Which is why we get this behavior of Beast Boy, first reaching out to save her, and then resorting to victim blaming when he feels like he can't save her. He jumps between I am Terra's best friend, I know she was there all along, to just Terra doesn't have any friends. Terra you wanted to do these things, it was your choice. There's no consistency in Beast Boy's actions, because Beast Boy doesn't really know what to do he is vulnerable and desperate, because a person who he cares about has hurt him, and is also hurting.

Beast Boy is once again trying to put Terra into a simple and easy to understand box. He is acting like the hero of the story, and she flips between his villain and his love interest when that's not the case. Terra's more focused on Terra herself, she cares about Beast Boy but she's also just trying to survive. Beast Boy is a little bit too focused on his relationship with Terra, and like the validation he wants to get from her that he can't look at Terra as a whole person, or realize from an outsider's perspective she's a kid in dire need of saving. Well he does at times, but like I said he flips between advocating for never giving up on her, and victim blaming her because Terra is not easy to understand and he cannot make up his mind.

Terra is the main character of her own story and Beast Boy doesn't know how to comprehend her that way, or set himself aside to look at things from Terra's perspective because he's fifteen and stuck inside his own head with all those adolescent feelings and hormones.

In both versions, I think Beast Boy mistakes what could have been a strong friendship for romance because he is obsessed with getting into a relationship without really understanding what that entails. Beast Boy not being a good boyfriend at fifteen is actually perfectly understandable, the whole tragedy of the Judas Contract in general is that just like Terra is too immature to save herself from her situation, the Titans also just being kids are too young to save her.

They also both try to jump into a relationship without building a solid friendship first, because they both need love and stability and have no idea how relationships are supposed to work. It's like they both fell in love with the people they were when they first met and the relationship never evolved. They are similar and there is a connection, but rather than the things they have in common bringing them together, it drives them apart.

#beast boy #tara markov #terra #teen titans #teen titans meta #tt meta #new teen titans #terra markov #terra teen titans #garfield logan #bbterra #beast boy x terra #judas contract #metasks

[fernweh-s]

Deadass! Like now I’m stuck like SpongeBob twiddling my fingers cuz I don’t know what to do with myself, just getting dropped off on a cliffhanger.

I’m thinkin of just getting the audio book for the first book at least so I can kick off the gears in my head to actually start reading the series.

Omfg you’re a trooper idk how you do it. There’s so much content my brain overloads idk how you juggle it and meanwhile if they reference something I will litterally backtrack till I get to the point n understand it cuz yeah that totally make more logical sense 😅 my brain is built different.

RUBY ROSE WAS IN BAT WOMAN ?!? Omfg WHAT. N yes it’s the CW curse for sure. I stopped watching their superhero adaptations after they ruined Arrow.

Batman the animated series was top tier. Chef kiss. I’ve been wanting to rewatch it again but my roster rn is so jammed packed and same I grew up watching it too . ima 93’ so then Saturday mornin cartoons were the the highlight of my youth.

Oh shit I didn’t know that, is the comic with the same name ?

I was hooked on shield so bad like they really brought me into the universe n it was like I was in the backstory of the movies. N then they go into the future n do dumb stuff like this does not interest me what so ever -.-“

Facts it really do. Is today your day off?

Ahhh so your an east coast BB, it’s 10 min till the afternoon here on my side. My day just getting started. But it’s Friday so it’s my lazy day today. I Just got back from the post office n sending out orders so I’m done with the day n just get to lounge.

It's really just the worst lmao. 😭😭 I wish that when shows got cancelled, they'd get like, one more season or even like half-season to tie everything up neatly so people don't gotta be left with questions when the end is just so abrupt.

Lmao I wish I could do audiobooks but I am just way too ADHD for that. 😂😂 I'd just end up zoning out, and when I zoned back in I'd probably have missed half of it.

😂😂 Lmaoo, see I've had to do enough of that with older comics, when I first got into reading comic books. Now I'm like; I WILL stay caught up even if it kills me!!

YEAH!! She was Kate Kane/Batwoman. Then she left, and instead of doing the reasonable thing—which would have been cancelling the show, they replaced the character of Kate with Ryan Wilder

It really was. I did a rewatch of (some) of it (and some of Batman Beyond) like, last year, I think (time has no meaning to me lmfao). Still SO good.

The comic continuation is called 'Batman: The Adventures Continue', and there's three volumes('seasons') total so far. There's Batman: The Adventures Continue, then Batman: The Adventures Continue: Season Two, followed by Batman: The Adventures Continue: Season Three (which is still currently ongoing!).

Lmao for real. Agents of Shield, you failed us!!! 😭😭

Yep, I'm an east coaster!!! Ayy, lazy dayyy, nice!

#mel answers;

[zaydabeta99]

I Still Don't Know My Name

I do not own Euphoria or any of the characters. This is kinda angsty, with foul language, alcohol and substance abuse, and inferred suicide. Read with caution, and do not read if you are triggered easily.

~Rue~

It was silent, and it was calm. Well, except for the pit pat of one Rue Bennett’s converse, and the raspy pants she took as she walked down her street. But she was fine, though. I mean, the love of her life was with her one minute and on a train to the city the next, but she was fine.

She fucking left me

Ok, maybe a bit less than fine.

I’m a burden, and she fucking left me.

Ok, so Rue was most definitely not fine. But it’s ok. Because as soon as she got into her house, she would go straight to her Oxy stash, the one she kept for “emergencies only” and get as high as the fucking moon.

And that is exactly what she did.

She got on cloud fucking 9, with no plan to come down.

~Gia~

Gia was a good kid. She got good grades, did things with her life, and you know, was a respectable human being. But seeing your sister on the floor, eyes staring at the ceiling, lifeless, and choking on her vomit, well, it fucks you up a bit.

It fucks you up a lot.

But she pushed through it. Of course, she could never see Rue the same way again, but she learned to adapt.

Most 13 year olds don’t have to go through that, but Gia did.

Almost all 13 year olds don’t have to go through that twice, but Gia should buy a fucking lottery ticket, because she did.

She walked into Rue's room, only to return the earbuds she borrowed. And fuck, there she was. The, tear stained face, lying in a pile of her vomit, convulsing over and over again to blow more chunks. Right next to her was her phone, unlocked, with a typed out message to Jules, waiting to be sent;

"Jules, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m a burden, and I understand that. I understand the you do not want to be responsible for my sobriety, and I understand why you left. Please, take care of yourself, and find someone who will love you almost as much as I love you."

And on that night, two relationships were ruined for Gia; One with her sister, and the other with herself.

~Jules~

Jules felt like shit. She left Rue. She fucking left the love of her life. Sure, Anna was fun, but Anna would not last. She remembers the look on Rue's face as the train pulled away. The fear, the regret, the disappointment, all swirling in her eyes and spreading throughout her face. But that wasn’t was hit her the hardest. It was just the pure sadness she had. Jules hoped that she would not go into a depressive episode, and she hopes that she wouldn’t do something worse.

As soon as she reached the next station, she got off to get a ticket home. She was going to get to Rue, no mater fucking what. But unfortunately, She was too late. It was all of the news.

Teen overdoses in the suburbs

Jules felt like she was going to throw up

17 year old girl OD's, and Not for The first time

She could feel the bile in her throat. She taps on a picture, and sure enough, Rue Bennett is in a gurney, being lifted into an ambulance with tubes all over.

Jules threw up.

~Leslie~

She had really though Rue was getting better. Hell, she was even joking about it literally 8 hours earlier. Her baby, her baby, was in the hospital for the second time in 6 months. And the worst fucking part was, she didn’t even get called. How did she find out?

She was supposed to be one of the nurses attending to her.

Approximately 18 year old Female, they said.

Overdosed on OxyContin, they said.

Approximately a 14 day stay, they said.

And once Leslie Bennett walked into the room, she felt her heart drop to her feet.

And she too, threw up.

~Lexi~

Lexi has never been drunk. Or high. Let alone both at the same time. So on that winter night, the one time she did get high and drunk, she made some…poor choices, per say.

She decided to confide in her sister her feelings and sexuality.

When that conversation was overheard, she started flipping people off, yelling “fuck you!” as she stormed out the door.

She drove to Rue Bennett, her crush of many years.

And while she went over to make out with her, Rue obviously had different plans. You know, the plans that involve not waking up.s

And it was like the universe was synchronizing her and other people, because she too, threw up.

~Kat~

Katherine Hernandez thought she would never love again after Daniel. I mean, c’mon, he broke up because she was fat? That just mean her had more of her to kiss and love. But we are getting off track. Kat thought she would not love again, so when she met Ethan, she had a small amount of hope. And while they did have their ups and downs, they found each other. And they love each other! Honestly, this night could not get any better.

And then Lexi had her fit.

But like, that happens all the time. Drunk people who can’t hold their liquor get fucking angry. It’s just a thing. So obviously, her night could not get worse.

Until she got a text

Lexi: Ruu iss in thr hosstipll

Kat: Lexi, you’re drunk. And that joke isn’t funny.

Lexi: Itt fking trruhs

And all of a sudden, everyone’s phones started binging, ringing, buzzing. And Rue Bennett's face lit up the screen.

And Katherine Hernandez’s night was officially ruined.

~Maddy~

She fucking hated Nate. Maddy. Hated. Nate. So why the hell did she love him? He was abusive as hell, a complete ass sometimes, and bought her stuff. Ok, maybe the last one wasn’t so bad. But she found her own group. Kat, the strong one who wouldn’t take shit. Cassie, the sly one. Lexi, the kind one. Rue, the one that is sober, but knows where to get the good shit. Jules, the fun one. And BB. She kinda floated in and out, but she was the craziest bitch to live. These were her people. She didn’t need no Nate fucking Jacobs.

So, she broke it off.

For good this time.

And she felt good about it, as she walked back to her table. But the only one there was Cassie. And Maddy knew in that moment, everything was about to go to shit.

And it did.

Rue overdosed, and everything went to fucking shit.

I hope you enjoyed! Posting new chapters every Friday and Tuesday!

[phoenix-downer]

Seeing Kairi in the exact same battle stances as Sora has risen my hopes she's the other playable character. Kairi always struck me as a very agressive fighter (from what little we've seen of her). I don't see her being quite a mini Aqua most fans I've come across portraying her as. Idk, I think it's because she's so direct (while Sora seems the most magic based of the trio so far). It'd be funny if Kairi ended up being the most close combat/heavy hitter of her trio.

Same, and even if she isn’t the other playable character (though I certainly hope she is!) I’m really looking forward to seeing her fighting style! She certainly isn’t afraid to jump into danger when the situation calls for it…

…so I can see her being bold and aggressive when she fights. Not necessarily heavy hitting, but more on that later. 

If she has a similar moveset to Sora, that could very well hint she’ll be the other playable character. Easier to build off of his moves and develop her own unique style and flair on top of that than to create everything from scratch.

And we have seen the series do this before - compare Ven’s moveset in BBS to Sora’s in DDD and Terra and Aqua’s movesets in BBS to Riku’s in DDD - more on that later.

I think the whole “Kairi will be a mini Aqua” line of thinking came from the fact that Kairi is a Princess of Heart. She has shown before she has light-based powers…

…which she used to restore Sora to human form.

Well, light-based powers in this series are tied heavily to magic, and as Aqua is the playable character who uses magic the most, it’s easy to see why people have made that connection. No matter what form her fighting style takes, I hope it will utilize her unique light-based powers, because we have yet to see a Princess of Heart fully use said powers in combat. The closest we’ve gotten is Minnie’s light-based attacks, and a part of me wonders if Kairi might fight like that.

Another popular headcanon I’ve seen floating around is that she’ll be the Terra/heavy hitter of the group like you mentioned, as Sora’s moveset in DDD maps onto Ven’s (the dodge roll, similar Break Time) and Riku’s onto Aqua’s (see the way he cartwheels to dodge, also her Ghost Drive is really similar to one of his movesets right down to the darkness usage). 

That leaves… Kairi for Terra’s. Although Riku also gets some of Terra’s commands, like Sacrifice (RIP) and his Slide Dodge in one of the final bossfights that made me want to chuck the controller at the screen. Terra’s dodge is terrible, please don’t give it to Kairi, please don’t give it to Kairi. 

So I don’t know if we can conclude from that that Kairi will get Terra’s moveset, per se, but it would be a fun way to round out the Destiny Trio. Your comment about close combat intrigues me. I can see her darting in to land a few heavy blows and then rolling out of the way before her enemies can retaliate. Something just tells me she’ll be hard to land a hit on.

I think taking a look at her costume might also hint at her fighting style.

Her skirt allows for a pretty free range of movement, as the bottom part in particular flares out to give her legs plenty of room to move. She doesn’t have long sleeves that might get in the way, and her hair is short as well, which means it won’t be getting in her face as she fights.

I would not be surprised at all if she has a very elegant fighting style, just based on her visual design. Again, if we look at Sora, we can see he has a very elegant fighting style as well. Lots of twirls, spins, flips, and rapid movement:

He’s a little bigger than her, yes, but her relatively small size makes me think  that she might be better suited to rapid movement and light-based magic. He is also relatively small compared to many of their allies and enemies, and he favors rapid movement. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if she adapts a similar fighting style for physiological reasons. 

At the very least, even if she does favor magic, I don’t think she’ll fight the same way Aqua does. For one, Aqua is much taller than her and has a different center of gravity. What works for Aqua will not work for Kairi. Kairi is much closer to Sora’s size than to Aqua’s at this point, so I can see her fighting more like Sora than like Aqua in terms of physical combat.

And looking at how she and Lea fight as a team…

…note how differently Lea holds his Keyblade from her, more befitting that of a heavy-hitter. Interesting to note is that Aced also holds his Keyblade like this:

I think Lea might wind up being the heavy hitter of the two of them, though I also like to imagine he uses a lot of Strike Raids for some reason, just as a shoutout to his chakrams. And if he and Kairi fight together a lot (which they probably will, they are training together, after all), I can see their fighting styles evolving to balance and supplement the other’s. 

So to counterract Lea’s heavy hits, my guess is that Kairi will be the faster of the two. He will stun enemies with some incredibly hard hits, and she will dart in when they aren’t paying attention. He will guard and she will heal, he will use lots of fire magic and she will use lots of water magic, that kind of thing. My guess is that their fighting styles were developed in tandem, which is why I’m speculating they will complement each other well.

And on a more sentimental note, obviously Sora means a lot to Kairi. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if she purposely adopted his fighting stance as a way to emulate him. And personally, I like her having a conscious choice in choosing to adopt his fighting stance. It puts her training in her hands. It lets her be in control, shows that she’s taken charge of her fighting style and is completely intentional and serious about her role in the final conflict.

Whew that got long-winded again, but thank you for the ask as always! :)

#kh3 spoilers #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kingdom hearts #kairi #lea #axel #sora #kh speculation #kh analysis #kh meta #my speculation #my analysis #answer #long post

[dynamic-instability]

Hi, I just finished my freshman year in premed and my grades were horrible (like C average) and it was because I'm just not good at science in college like I was in hs... I'm so tired all the time and like I don't have chronic illness or anything and so I know it's not even like what you went through and maybe I'm stupid for complaining but I just don't know if I can keep doing this. I've wanted to be a doctor all my life, how do I give up on that dream??

(2/3) I just feel like I’m giving up and letting down everyone who expects things of me but when I think about things like having to get volunteer and shadowing hours I just feel like I’m panicing and it’s just this crushing weight and maybe I’m just not good enough but like how do I give up?? Doesn’t that make me weak?? My grades in other stuff like my history classes and even in calc were good but gen chem and gen bio fucking killed me I’ve always been a good student idk what to do now

(3/3) I’m sorry for sending this long thing that probably doesn’t even make sense and you dealt with so much shit with your sickness and stuff and you got really good grades obviously and I don’t even have anything like that, I’m just not good at school anymore?? I just know I need to make a change if I’m gonna do this premed thing and you’ve had to think about in the past what you’d do if you can’t be a doctor. I guess I just wanted your advice sorry this is so long lol I’m kinda freaking out

Oh my sweet bb anon. The first thing to do is to take a breath. The second thing to do is to stop comparing yourself to me or to anyone. Don’t start down that road of who has it harder and who is overcoming more, because that’s just not a productive line of thinking, okay? I’ve been there, I’ve done that to myself, it doesn’t lead anywhere good. Your struggles are your own struggles, and whatever you choose to do, it is valid. It does not make you weak.

There’s kind of a lot to unpack here so I’m just going to do my best.

I think the biggest question you have to ask here is whether you still genuinely want to be a doctor. So you’re struggling in your science classes, that’s okay, some C’s in freshman year don’t have to stop you. Just because your first year was hard, it doesn’t mean it won’t improve, and that’s true for a bunch of reasons. The material, for one thing: I didn’t like gen chem, but I loved orgo, and I know a lot of people for whom that’s been the case (it depends on how into quantitative thinking you are, I think). Also, intro-level bio classes can sometimes be the hardest because you have to learn a whole new vocabulary and way of thinking, but then once you have those skills it can get a lot easier. Also, regardless of your field of study, the first year of college is hard socially and academically, it’s a rough adjustment. I don’t know you, but maybe your mental health suffered from the stress and the transition, or maybe you just didn’t have the study skills yet because your high school coursework didn’t demand them. A couple bad grades does not mean you’re unable to do this.

What worries me more is that you said things like “I’m tired all the time” and “it feels like this crushing weight.” A look back through this blog will tell you I’ve had my share of feeling like this, and that not all of it can be attributed to chronic fatigue. But at least when it came to bio, I’ve always loved the material. Even when it was killing me, I love biology. I love biology and medicine so much that I do shit like writing a completely unnecessary 50-page lit review about cholera. I love a lot of other things, too, like music and history and linguistics, but nothing makes me happy like medicine makes me happy. If you love it and you’re struggling, you don’t need to give up, you just need to find better strategies for doing well. Find a tutor, work with classmates, find new study/organizational skills, retake some courses if you failed them. And there are going to be some courses in your prereqs that you just won’t like (see: me and physics) and that doesn’t have to stop you. The courses you take in undergrad are not necessarily reflective of everything to come. But if you hate science? Don’t put yourself through this. It isn’t worth it.

Here’s the thing. There is such a thing as a weed-out class, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Being “weeded out”, so to speak, doesn’t have to mean you’re not good enough, it can just mean that you’re figuring out what is and is not a good fit for you. My friend @carminapiranha went through this her freshman year, suffered through a year of pre-med where she struggled and was miserable before admitting it was not what she wanted. She has a degree in art history, and is about to go get a master’s degree. There was a girl I knew freshman year who was sure she was going to be a surgeon, but she got a D in gen bio 1 because the class didn’t make sense to her and made her miserable. She got an MBA and is making like hella money now. 

You can change your mind, that is a valid decision. It doesn’t have to mean you’re giving up, it doesn’t have to mean you’re weak, it can just mean you’re looking for something that’s a better fit for you. You said you did well in history classes, but did you also like them? What was your favorite class you’ve taken? I know there are some degrees that feel more “useless” than others, and it would be naive of me to claim that that doesn’t matter when college is so freakin expensive, but honestly? Very few people get jobs directly in the field of their degrees. People end up doing totally random jobs all the time. Maybe there’s something else that’s a better fit for you. If there is, you should go and do that!

So I guess my question is this: why are you trying so hard to stay pre-med? Is it because this is what you want and you can’t see yourself being fulfilled the same way doing anything else? For me, that’s the wall I come up against every time I quit being pre-med (which has happened like… three times now?) If that’s the case then maybe look at alternate careers in the medical field (I myself have thought extensively about becoming a genetic counselor–similar academic requirements, but not as harsh in terms of training, and probably not quite as competitive as far as undergraduate GPA), or you can just keep pushing towards this goal and try to find better ways of studying. As for the extracurricular stuff, I would recommend that you try to stop viewing it as this crushing obligation. Find volunteer opportunities that are things you think are cool and that you want to do, not because they’re things that will look good on a resume. View shadowing as an opportunity to see whether various medical field things are right for you, not as ticking a box for some imaginary (or literal) application-strengthening checklist. If your campus has a pre-med/pre-health club, see about going to some of their events or talks. Talk to a pre-health advisor about options and opportunities. Talk to other pre-health people. It’s a lot, being pre-med. I feel the pressure too, all the time, and it can be exhausting, but if it’s really what you want to do, you don’t have to give up. You certainly don’t have to give up this early. You’re only a baby freshman (well, a baby sophomore, now, I guess) (I can call you a baby because I’m 24 and I have a whole degree now, so #dealwithit) (I promise I mean it with love and not condescension). One year of not-great grades is not going to preclude you from being a doctor.

But if the reason you’re so reluctant to change paths is out of obligation instead of an actual passion for the field, then it’s not worth it to keep making yourself miserable. 

Whoever it is that you feel like you’ll be letting down by not becoming a doctor–your parents or your grandparents or your high school science teacher or whoever–you don’t owe them. I don’t know if you’ve got parents putting pressure on you or what, but if you do, just remember that it’s your life and no one has the right to tell you what to do with it. 

Or maybe the person you feel like you’re betraying is your past self, the version of you that’s dressing up as a doctor for Halloween and telling everyone for the past 18 years how you’re gonna be a doctor and sitting in your bedroom watching Grey’s Anatomy and getting all fired up about how that’s gonna be you one day. This is a thought I’ve had a lot over the past six years or so. It’s hard if you’ve identified yourself by this desire your whole life to suddenly imagine being anything else. I don’t know if that’s the case for you, but I feel sometimes like I have this 12-year-old Kari in my head and I’m breaking her little idealistic medical nerd heart every time I take a step outside the path she’d have me on. But guess what? You don’t owe your past self shit. Your past self had ideas of what your life would be, just like baby Kari had ideas for what my life would be, but she didn’t have all the information that I have. I know better than she did. You cannot control the actions and the thoughts of your future self, you just have to trust that they are better informed than you are. 

You are allowed to change. Your identity is yours and yours alone to shape how you please. It doesn’t make you weak to change course, it makes you flexible. (And hey, if studying biology has taught me anything, it’s that adaptability is key to survival) (There’s a reason my blog is called “dynamic instability”)

#premed #pre med #Kari tries to give advice I guess #sorry if this makes no sense I wrote it in the middle of the night #I kind of wanted to reply 'why the fuck are you asking me I'm a certified disaster' #but I didn't #because I had things to say so #anon #asks

[icharchivist]

Okay I understand what you said about death note, but don't you think you're going a bit overboard with the roasting? It's bad for people who know the original masterpiece, yeah, but it does stand alone as a movie. If I watched it with my non-anime-watcher brother, he might go, "Oh, that was interesting." And maybe finally give the original a shot. It did its job getting people familiar and interested in dn, but of course it couldn't be as good, its an entire sieris shortened to one movie

Well I did say when I started it that I wouldn’t have much pity toward the movie either. 

And I’m sorry, but we’re talking about a story that was extremely Japanese, and which not only was stripped of its Japanese intend, but also showed off Asians being killed by Light, and especially a bullshit explaination on them picking the name Kira because “in Japanese it means Killer so they’ll think we’re japanese” and them letting messages in Japanese on the crimescenes to pretend Kira is Japanese.

This is not the kind of things to overlook. Whitewashing isn’t something to overlook, and the movie dealt with it in such a poor way, in an actual offensive way, when you adapt something, you at least try to respect it.

And it’s not an entiere series shortened into one movie. They planned sequels. The movie ends on a stupid cliffhanger. And it follows absolutly no plot from the original. Why do you try to use the L. and Kira’s showdown, and clearly call your characters those ways, while you don’t respect the story at all?

Oh and fyi, for as...... much as they are (i’m not found of them), there are Japanese movies adapted from Death Note. The First movie is all about the mindgames between Light and L, and it ends on L. meeting Light. They changed a lot of things, but they kept the focus where it should be: on L and Light’s mindgames and manipulations. It teased for a sequel while actually leaving you with quite a story that was closer to the original. Of course you can’t adapt 12 volumes into one movie. But, especially when you expect sequels, you can try to cut the story correctly.

Listen, when you adapt something, you’re supposed to at least have read the thing. As bad as the Last Airbender Movie was, at least it did show you a Kid who ran away from his duty because he was scared of wars, two others kids finding him and trying to help him learn the elements, and Zuko the antagonist is still someone extremely wounded in hs honor after his father’s abuse.

And let’s be real, The Last Airbender is one of the worst adaptation of all time, it’s boring, and it’s whitewashing, but at least it kept the characters basic traits and journey. Why would you adapt something and keep the name if you’re not going to at least follow the story?

Like i repeated, it wouldn’t have been as bad if say, they did a whole new story where Ryuk just happens to drop the Death Note in America with enteirely new characters. No L. No Kira, an actualy story. Like the Chapter 0 of Death Note, or why not even explore the BB Murder Case since it’s a novel happening in America?

You can take the idea of the Death Note, but not if you take the characters name and the basics of their showdwn while absolutly nothing about it will be respected.(especially since the movie totally overlooked the mindgames between L and Light because Light did a really obvious mistake.)

And how the fuck does it stands alone when it removed the lore? No really?? 

Okay so, where the hell Ryuk’s come from? Why did the notebook say “Do not trust Ryuk”? What did Ryuk do in the movie that wasn’t trust worthy aside from not letting Light know Mia was doing bullshit? What was the point about this plotline?What was Mia’s deal? We just had to accept that a cheerleader would get into murders right away?Besides have you seen how those two bounded without even blinking at the idea of murders? Especially since Light is supposedly a victim we’re supposed to feel bad for in the movie?

Why do we have to accept that? Why do we have to accept the lowest of effort, of writting a basic Teenage Horror Screenplay, while the actual story was supposed to be One of The Kind? 

Seriously though, Awkward Teen with a Crush on Cheerleader Who Gets The Girl After Getting Mysterious Powers is a cliché. Turning Ryuk, a sympathetic figure in the manga, a passive observator, into a sort of creature always pushing you to do bad is cliché. Hell, they removed entierely the relationship between Light and Ryuk while it was the focus of the original.

Not to mention it was a story about a greater scale. The original manga was a commentary on how Law Enforcement works in Japan, and how a priviliged, popular, “will go far” kid like Light, who had access to the information, would believe he would have some reasons to clean it up.But instead, it became a teenage drama. Light was always pushed by other people in the movie to make murders, and he often want to get out of it. Even the God persona is something coming out of their ego, while in the manga it’s something that just happens. Here, it’s kids who want the attention, and get backlash for doing so. An underdog, who just want to keep his life going in school, who plays God just because he was pushed by his girlfriend and because he is a poor kid who’s traumatized.

We went also from a story which was a commentary on Japanese Law Efforcement, to a story who was so oblivious to the Law Efforcement Commentary, that they showed a white cop choke the black lead before letting him go, and you’re supposed to cheer for the cop. 

Is it worth showing someone who don’t want to watch anime for them to get interested?? No. 

It’s a watered down stupid teen flick which plays on Edgy Fuel. It’s a project that was born and kept going with racist intends. It’s a story you may watch, think “bleh” and leave. Not get interested in more. And if you do, jfc. I’m sorry but I hate the idea some people might come into the manga expecting say, Ryuk to be like this movie bullshit, or Light, or L, or anyone. 

And okay, as a standalone movie?

The movie is poorly paced. The exposition scenes are hilariously bad. The characters motivation are inexistant, explained by a sexy montage of them having sex while killing people (of color), showing how immature the whole subject was treated. The montage itself was incredibily bad, the whole idea of seeing the ascension of Light’s godlike persona was totally overlooked for his stupid romance. It gives tragic backstories to the two main leads to explain somehow why they’re like that.

 The whole fun of this story, which was to see how L and Light was trapping each other, was ruined by the fact the plot runs on stupid and Light doesn’t make any decision. It’s Mia doing them. L. discover Light is Kira halfway throught he movie because Light fucked up. The manipulations of say, getting rid of the FIB agent, was completely overlooked in a cheap twist. Because that wasn’t important. 

The whole plot requires you to just accept they are whatever genuis and overlook the batlant mistakes they make to make the plot running. And, because it didn’t make it through, spelling out the message of “chosing the lesser of two evils”, removing the reader’s freewill to chose who to side with. 

It was not fun. It was not exciting. It was seeing Edgy to be Edgy.

And I’m sorry this is insulting? Death Note was a serie that run for 3 years. For 3 years, the authors went out of their way to make an unique story, with unique characters, with a complex view on mankind. They put 3 years to elaborate the themes, to develop the characters, to tie up the looses ends. And Hollywood saw from it just an opportunity of a quick cash, to be Edgy by taking the name and concept, and make the usual soup they do with teenage horror movies. 

Death Note wasn’t the franchise to do it. We can’t blindly accept adaptation because “it stands as a stand alone movie”. It’s completely disregarding the fact it was someone else’s work that you decided to strip from everything that made it so unique to start with. 

Even more when it’s America disregarding a culture and somehow managing to be offensive toward it, making them the victims of a story they were the main characters of to start with.

So I completely disagree with your point of view on it. I’m sorry if i’m harsh, it’s not against you nonny, much more against the movie.

If an adaptation isn’t capable of getting the basic understanding of the story right, they have no right to claim themselves as such. I’m not asking an adaptation to the comma, i’m asking to an adaptation which would respect its root.

Which isnt what this movie gave. 

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