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#it's been a year and still I have no idea how to deal with this shit
gallusrostromegalus · 21 hours
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You can lay blame for this second ask at @hoifne 's feet, I saw their comment on the post and had to:
How did folks react to the moon landing?
"You're ready? No Big Regrets?" Renji asks. He always asks. He'd done hundreds of Konso rituals now that he was doing his mandatory tour of duty in the living world, but he never wants them to feel 'routine', so he talks to the ghosts. Hypes them up a bit for the afterlife, tries to keep his heart in it.
Especially when it's a kid.
"Well, it's not really a big deal..." The ghost Suichi considers. He was maybe ten or eleven years old. Thick prescription glasses, face round with puppy fat, very loved. Love won't stop a freak electrical accident though. Young Suichi is handling his sudden departure really well, all things considered, so maybe love does stop despair. "-but its a bit of a shame that if there's no TV in the afterlife, I won't be able to watch the moon landing."
"Yeah, we're a bit behind the times, but I'm sure one of the mad geniuses in the 12th will invent one sooner than late-" Renji grins ruffling the boy's hair before the rest of the sentence registers. "-The What Landing?"
"The Moon Landing!" Suichi lights up with excitement. "They just launched the rocket yesterday! But in just three days, man will walk on the moon!"
"...The Moon?" Renji blinks, bewildered.
"Yeah!"
Renji points up over his shoulder into the sky, gripping the boy's shoulder, eyes wide. "THE MOON IN THE FUCKING SKY?"
---
The lights of the Fifth division offices reflect blankly off of Captain Aizen's glasses as he attempts to process the news. He is entirely still, save for his eyebrows which are writhing like overcaffienated caterpillars, unable to settle on an emotion to convey.
"The Moon?" Lieutenant Ichimaru squints at Renji even harder than usual, pointing up out the window behind him. "The Moon in the fucking sky?"
"Yeah!" Renji spread his hands. "I didn't believe it either but the humans have managed to work out some neat trick with the way the world turns to like, throw the spaceship like a slingshot..?" he tried to explain.
"So, so there's three guys in a boat-" Captain Aizen tried again, reaching up under his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.
"It's really more like a sealed metal tube, but they call it a Space Ship because it does sorta sail through space..." Renji tried to explain, holding up the newspaper from the living world he'd brought back to substantiate his claims and also provide helpful images to explain what was happening.
"So there's three guys in a metal tube and they... threw it into the sky so hard that instead of falling it started flying instead?" Aizen tried. "How do they even throw something that hard without Kido?"
"So the men are up in this little itty bitty bit at the top that looks like a cap on a vaccine needle-" Renji pointed at the image of the Apollo 11 rocket. "-All the rest of this is the uh. enormous amount of extremely coordinated high explosives they used to launch it. The. The whole thing is like... It's a little over three hundred fifty shaku and only 12 shaku of that is where the humans are. The rest is um. Air they smooshed so hard it became liquid and then they set that on fire and look at the picture you can see the kaboom!" Renji tried to explain, pushing the paper across Aizen's desk for his captain to read.
Aizen certainly pointed his face at the image and accompanying article, but 'read' may have been a bit beyond him at the moment.
"Oh, is that all it took?" Ichimaru hummed with interest. "Well fuck, why haven't we done that?"
"Oh yes, how very silly that the humans have beaten us at the trifling matter of FLINGING OURSELVES INTO SPACE, WHAT THE *HELL* ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ICHIMARU??" Aizen objected.
"Well like. Idea's sound. Moon goes around the earth, so a smaller thing should too. And we can absolutely make a sealed metal container and kaboom bigger than that." Gin shrugged, as though this were plainly obvious. "Betchya the clown that runs the twelfth has the stuff laying around- we got a meeting with him later today anyway, why not ask?"
"Oh sure, that's a great Idea!" Aizen beamed. "Why hello Kurotsuchi-taicho, curious news from the human world- do you think you could spare a few parts and several tons of explosives to send some guys for a stroll on the moon?"
There was a moment of silence where Renji and Gin shared an awkward glance (or at least, Renji gave meaningful look to the narrow slits where his lieutenant-commander's eyes theoretically were).
"...he'd agree to that in a heartbeat, if he hasn't started work on his own Spaceboat already." Aizen groaned.
---
"No." Grunted Mayuri.
"No? Why not?" Aizen asked, head cocked to the side like a confused spaniel.
"Look, what the old man doesn't know about budget expenditures won't hurt him!" Gin smiled encouragingly. "Think of all the scientific data you'd get to research!"
"What the old man finds out about budget expenditures after the fact can and will hurt me." Mayuri growled. "It's not cookie money, kitting an expedition to the living world to engineer a spaceship with atomic matter instead of Reishi- No, much more efficient to let the humans do it for us and poach the date from them."
"...Why would we need to go to the Living world?" Aizen blinked, confused. "I can see the moon from the window right here?" Aizen pointed out the window of Kurotsuchi's office.
"What? That moon? You can't go to that moon!" The clownish chemical engineer cackled."
Aizen and Ichimaru stared at him blankly.
"Is. Is the moon here different than the one in the living world?" Aizen asked, bewildered.
"Different? It doesn't exist!" Mayuri laughed, waving his hand at them.
Aizen and Ichimaru stared at him, then leaned back in their seats, looking out the window at the moon, which still looked as physical and present as it ever did.
"...Oh don't tell me you didn't know." Mayuri frowned, pouting. "No, spirit world doesn't have a moon. The thing up in the sky is a Tulpa- there's a "moon" because everyone who comes to spirit world thinks there should be one, and there's so much ambient spiritual energy even weak souls can exert some force on the nature of reality and when millions of them are all certain there should be a moon, a moon manifests. Or at least, a thing that looks like a moon. Doesn't act like one, changes size and skips around it's phases all the time and if it really were a round object in space, that's NOT what a crescent moon would look like."
Aizen and Ichimaru looked back out the window at the "Moon", whose crescent arced a full three quarters of the alleged satellite's circumference.
"Seriously? this is some really basic stuff." Mayuri glared at them in disappointment. "You never noticed that the moon is always visible out any random window at night, no matter what time it is? It doesn't even go east-to-west more than half the time!"
"But. But we have a lunar calendar..?" Aizen muttered, an edge of genuine distress in his voice.
"Oh yeah, the moon *used* to be regular as clockwork- everyone literally set their watches to it." Mayuri shrugged. "Then sometime about eh, two and a half, three thousand years ago? Right around the same time the first captain-class spirits started appearing, the moon started doing this 'Full Moon Thrice A Month If it Feels Like It' and 'Visible At Improbable Angles' nonsense."
Aizen's eyes were wide and Gin's very nearly open with alarm.
"That's uh- that's terrifying?" Aizen sputtered, now outright frightened.
"Yeah, anybody know what coulda caused that?" Gin muttered.
"The going theory is that the precipitation of a new class of spiritually hyperpotent souls like us has caused disproportionate tugs on the desired appearence of the the "Moon", but that's only a theory- my predecessor's predecessor once attempted to send a camera to the 'Moon' for a closer look, but it never actually *got* any closer." Mayuri explained, casually inspecting his fingernails- he seemed to be growing out the middle one for some godforsaken reason. "-Your theoretical starboat would likely far worse."
"...Okay but that's worse. You understand how that's worse, right?" Aizen demanded and Mayuri waved him off.
"No, no hit makes sense-" Gin nodded, and Aizen glared at his lieutenant. "Think about it! There's what, three and a half billion human on earth? Millions die every day, but only a couple hundred ever turn up every day at the intake queue in the 7th, and nearly everyone is from just the one part of Japan. We're one afterlife of many- ugh, could you imagine if the missionaries were sent here?- anyway, our world is nowhere NEAR as big at the Living World, so the moon-moon is just a geographical feature in the living world, and there's only a couple million people living here. We got disproportionate swing, so we pull on the collective conciousness more. It's fine!"
"That's AWFUL!" Aizen shouted, dismayed.
"I mean I think we all understand God is an Asshole, but what are you gonna do about it?" Mayuri shrugged before tapping on the crate beside his desk. "-Anyway, do you want these Polio Vaccines for the rukongai outreach program our not?"
"I- yes. Please." Aizen muttered.
"Good man, sign here." Mayuri tapped the sheet on his desk. As Aizen tried to read over the provisions release paperwork, the small "Electronic Mailer" on Mayuri's desk pinged. "Oh, the word got out- Kyoraku-taicho wants to hold another moon-viewing party for the occasion. Do me a favor and attend so you can explain to him why we can't go to our 'moon' for me? I don't want to go, and I really don't want to explain it to him through a hangover either."
"If you don't wanna go Boss I'll stand in for you. Promises to be a real riot." Gin grinned.
"Yes, you have your young friend, don't you? Miss Matsumoto?" Aizen smiled fondly at his second-in-command.
"Oh, she probably already got her invite- she an' Miss Nan- er, lieutenant Ise are real pals from the academy." Gin laughed. "Nah, I was gonna drag old blind bones along."
"...Captain Tousen?" Aizen asked, befuddled. "Whatever for?"
"Stars ain't exactly braille, y'know?" Gin explained, wiggling his fingers. "He knows even less than we do an' I wanna watch Rangiku and Kyoraku try'n 'splain the whole thing to him." Gin grinned.
"Sounds lovely! Take your shit and get out of my office." Mayuri threatened.
---
Renji exhaled, still bewildered, laying on his back on the grassy hill just outside the 2nd division training grounds, staring up at the moon as it rose opposite the sunset behind him. Or, maybe not? There had been some lecture about how the moon in spirit world wasn't a moon back at the academy that he didn't really remember-
"You sound like you're in the throes of a moral conundrum Red." Shuuhei teased, looking up from the strange contraption he was setting up.
"Huh?" Renji blinked. "Oh, no I'm just- Those guys in the Spaceship gotta be somethin' else, going to die thousands of miles from home."
"What? The Astronauts? They'll be fine! -Probably." Shuuhei laughed. "They're definitely insane, getting in that contraption at all, but they still gotta come home with all the rocks and whatever they get from the moon for the lab techs to look at."
"...How the hell are they getting back?" Renji frowned, rolling up onto his elbow to frown at his senpai. "I thought they blew up all the rocket getting off the planet?"
"They got a bitty rocket in the lunar landing craft that will get them between their ship and the lunar surface, and then they will angle the ship a bit and the moon will fling them back to earth the way earth flung them at the moon." Shuuei explained, not looking up from the weird bass-drum looking object he was messing with.
Renji opened his mouth, realized his friend probably understood it way better than he did, closed his mouth, shrugged, and changed topics. "So what is that thing you had me haul up here?"
"It's uhhh... Experimental. Haven't got a name for it yet." Shuuhei muttered, placing a level on top of it and frowning at the bubble before adjusting the legs bolted awkwardly to the side of the drum. "-But with all this excitement about the Lunar Landing, I realized Tousen-Taicho is... I mean he gets left out of a lotta stuff, y'know? But it's not like he can see the stars, or the spirit-moon, and I don't think he really understands orbital mechanics-"
"I sure fuckin' don't." Renji muttered.
"Yeah, because you're the kind of moron who put a ham sandwich in a VCR-" Shuuhei rolled his eyes.
"That was ONE TIME, and Matsumoto Senpai told me it was a Panini Press!" Renji sulked.
"-and then pressed "Fast Forward", but Tousen is actually smart as hell- I'm the one who can't explain it without gestures he can't see." Shuuhei continued. "...but I can use a camera obscura and reiryoku-sensitive film to sort of take an old exposure image of the night sky. I'm hoping that if I treat the exposed film right, that the light and dark parts will turn into different textures for him to read, like a braille sky."
"Oh." Renji muttered. "That's really nice of you actually."
"I mean, we'll see if it works." Shuuhei shugged, examining the level again. "Hand me the allen wrenches- What about your boss?"
"Captain Aizen? Uh- honestly? He seems a little freaked out by all this and I saw him fuckin' slam the newspaper into his wastebasket when he got back from the twelth." Renji winced. "He's weird like that. Sweet as cake most of the time but then there's these weird flashes of anger... and I'm not sure how much longer he's gonna be my boss."
"As in you got ambitions, or you think he's gonna get fired?" Shuuhei asked, staring at the level again.
"As in 'Tetsuzaemon Iba got in another brawl with his mother about him only being fourth seat when she made captain, and Liuetenant Madarame asked me if I'd updated my resume recently." Renji winced.
"Woof. Talk about a lateral promotion." Shuuhei winced. "Still, the pay raise would be nice. You could afford to take your girl Rukia somewhere up to her brother's standards!"
"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Renji snapped, rolling over and jumping to his feet. "-It's -I'm sorry. It's kinda complicated." Renji sighed.
Shuuhei was silent for a minute as Renji sat back down on the grass, face in his hands. After a minute of fine-tuning the drum to keep it level, he spoke up. "You're more than good enough."
"Huh?" Renji jolted. "Oh, yeah- I'd be doing all the eleventh's paperwork but there's no way it's worse than the fucking rice subsidies accounting board-"
"That's not what I meant." Shuuhei glared.
"...I know." Renji groaned. "It's just. It's complicated, okay?"
"If you say so." Shuuhei shrugged. "Alright, hand me the flat box- thanks. It'll be ready for exposure in a minute, and I want to get it done before those clouds roll in." He gestured at the distant thunderheads threatening to bloom into a summer storm on the edge of the city.
The process was quick- the shielded plate went into the gap under the drum, and the light of the night sky was reflected onto it from a pinhole in the top. Once the metal plates were pulled back, it needed a few minutes to pick up enough light, before Shuuhei pushed the metal shutters back in and locked the plate in darkness until it could be developed.
"It's for taking pictures of the stars, right?" Renji asked as Shuuhei started disassembling the camera. "You could call that plate an Astrograph."
"Hah! Futuristic. I like it!" Shuuhei grinned. "C'mon and help me with this thing before the punishment squad turns up to kick my ass for having a camera within a mile of the second."
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rabbitbandit05 · 3 days
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this has been a thought in my mind forever, but can we get a modern mizu x reader who is getting bullied or made fun of at college or whatever. rumors are spread about the reader at parties, and in general the reader is having a tough time dealing with all of the false rumors or like bullying, and mizu just FLIPS and puts matters into her own hands? :3 (if you dont write modern mizu, thats okay, i just thought this would be a fun idea getting to see a protective mizu)
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Anon, thank you for this request! I genuinely had such fun doing it, and had so many ideas that I tried to capture as many as I could (so it might be a bit over the place- sorry 😬). And I in fact do write modern Mizu!
The dynamic I was going for was Nana and Hachi (from Nana- if you know them ily)- and just kinda rolled with it. I also tried to use Y/N instead of reader or ‘you’, and I think I prefer it, however am open to feedback.
Also, again, Requests are open!
Enjoy!!
Word count: 3229 words
Warnings: Bullying, rumors, drama, I’m not sure what else to warn about
“I heard that she’ll sleep with anyone who offers themselves to her”
“No, really? Well, I guess when you look like that, you get desperate for attention..”
No one besides Y/N was really sure how the rumors had started. It was as if over night, the quiet, sensitive Y/N that everyone knew was erased and replaced with a much more sinister outlook on her.
“She never struck me for the type, not with her non-existent social life-”
“I wouldn't be too sure. She doesn't associate with people on campus, but have you seen her at the parties recently? There has to be some merit to the rumors with the way she dresses.”
But Y/N could pinpoint the exact moment they had started. It started with Y/N and Mizu meeting.
Campus was huge, and completely new to Y/N, who was still trying to find her way around. Y/N was a transfer student completing her bachelors after transferring from a community college in her area. To make matters worse for the already social awkward Y/N, she came in during spring semester- the middle of the academic year. By then, new students and transfers from fall had already formed their social groups, and that left Y/N to once again, be outcasted.
However, Y/N had already made a promise to herself that she would find friends and go out more often. And so when she heard of a Valentines day party that one of the Sororities on campus was hosting for students in her year, she decided she would go. Worst case scenario would be that she left if the vibe wasn't for her.
And so the fateful evening came and Y/N found herself getting ready for the party. That was how she had met Mizu. Y/N could still remember the sight of her. She had walked into the small, cramped house that was blaring with music. She couldn't walk two steps without bumping into someone, and couldn't hear her own feet hit the floor. It was a change from her usual solitude and quietness, and becoming dizzy with all the movement and sound, Y/N made a beeline for the nearest door leading outside, which happened to be to the backyard. In the backyard, the music from inside was muffled to a tolerable noise level, and Y/N took a deep breath in and out. And then, as if by some magic, she looked up and there she was, with a red solo cup in one hand, her hair in a half up and half down style that perfectly framed her sharp features, and the bluest eyes that Y/N had ever seen. Mizu drew Y/N to her with just a single glance, and call it fate, but Y/N (for the first time in her life) had the courage to go and introduce herself to the loner who stood at the edge of some makeshift garden.
After some talking and discovering that despite Mizu being a year ahead of Y/N, they both were studying the same major. They quickly exchanged phone numbers, and when Y/N woke up the next morning, Mizu had texted her asking if she would like to grab lunch. After having lunch, time seemed to pass quickly. Summer came, and they spent it together at one of mizu’s friends family summer home (His name was Ringo, if Y/N remembered correctly). Just them and the beach. There were times when they would both dive in the water, with Mizu going underwater and staying there long enough that Y/N would panic and wonder if she drowned. Luckily, that never happened and Mizu would emerge just as Y/N would dunk her head underwater to check for her.
And the fall came, and the happy times just… ended. The leaves turned brown, the flowers started to wilt and die off and Mizu’s schedule was packed fall semester with classes that she needed to take.Aside from the occasional meet up, they mostly conversed through text. Still, Y/N looked on the bright side and smiled when she would receive a text from Mizu. That was always the best part of her day. When she would receive the text messages that asked things like “did you eat today?” “Have you done your homework or are you procrastinating again?” and the rare “I miss you” text, Y/N would giggle and kick her feet, as if it was her lover asking her these things and not her best friend. She was sure, if Mizu had asked her to follow her to the ends of the world, Y/N would have. Is this how having a first love felt?
—-
The rumors made their way through campus, particularly though Y/N’s class and her major. It had started after Y/N had received a text messages in the middle of one of her classes from Mizu, asking if she was out of class yet. Y/N quickly responded back that she had 5 more minutes but before she could send that text, she heard a voice whisper something.
“Who is so important for her to be texting in the middle of class?” Y/N ignored it, as the person who whispered it didn't need to know and she hit send.
At the end of class, before Y/N could stand up to leave, she was confronted with the girl who had whispered wondering why Y/N was texting, and a few of her friends.
“Its rude to text during a lecture. What could be so important that it couldn't wait?”
Another one pipped up “What do you have a boyfriend or something?”
“Who im dating is none of your concern.” Y/N should have just said sorry and left it at that, but after hanging out with Mizu, she had found a new confidence in herself.
“So you were texting your boyfriend?”
“Thats rude to make assumptions-” Y/N started but was quickly cut off before she could get another word in.
“Oh so it was a hookup then? Never took you for the type.”
“I wasn't-” Y/N was cut off again
“How pathetic- so desperate that you have to text in class.” And finally, after the last berate and Y/N refusing to say anything, they all left, leaving Y/N to breath out a shaky sigh and stand up on her shaking legs.
After that day, Y/N received texts from unknown numbers asking her to hook up. She ignored them, playing it off as a prank, but then rumors started to go around campus, and those were harder to ignore. Y/N wont like and say that it was easy to ignore them, but she had been bullied for almost all of middle school and throughout high school, so she had thicker skin. However, what she wasn't expecting was a text. A week after the initial spread of the rumors, Y/N received a ominous text from Mizu:
‘we need to meet up.’
Y/N stared at the text for a good 10 minutes, thinking of how to respond. Should she deny the rumors? What if the reason why Mizu wanted to meet up wasn't because of the rumors but was to catch up? That would be self-centered of Y/N to think that Mizu wanted to meet up because of the rumors. But then why else when they hadn't seen each other for weeks? It had to be about the rumors going around.
This couldn't be happening to her. The only good thing in Y/N’s life ws Mizu, she couldn't lose her too. So with shaking hands, she typed as quickly as she could.
Y/N🌸:
‘Ok, how about we meet at luna’s?’
Mizu 🌊:
‘Does tomorrow morning- 10am work for you?’
Y/N🌸:
‘Yeah! Sounds perfect.’
Y/N shut off her phone before she got the urge to write anything else. She flopped onto her bed, and buried her head into her pillow. She hoped that this meeting with Mizu would clear the air and wouldn't break their friendship apart.
——
Y/N had arrived 15 minutes early at where they were supposed to meet- a tiny coffee shop near campus that they would go to in the spring. She decided she would get in line and order both of their usuals. When both drinks came out, Y/N sat down at an empty table and waited. The wait was horrible, though she knows that she was the one who decided to arrive early, and really she would only need to wait a few more minutes. And at exactly 9:58am, Y/N looked up and saw her.
“Hey Mizu,” Y/N waved the blue-eyed girl down from where she sat. Mizu took notice of Y/N and made her way over to the table, a small smile on her face. She had her hair up in a bun and wore casual attire, which somehow she looked even better in.
“Hey Y/N- how have you been?” The question was definitely loaded and Y/N wasn't sure how to respond to it. Y/N could feel Mizu’s eyes scanning her face, waiting for some sort of reaction or sure sign. Y/N shrugged her shoulders casually.
“I've been…. Well.” She said hesitantly, and then looked up into Mizus eyes. Judging by Mizu’s glare, she did not buy that. “Actually, it’s been a bit… rough lately…”
“I bet… I’ve heard what’s been going on…” her voice was calm. There was no ill will or anger mixed in her voice.
“How??” Y/N asked as concern reached her voice. Bad scenes ran through Y/N’s head just imagining how Mizu reacted when she found out. It would be even worse if it was the mean girls and her friends who told Mizu directly.
“I overheard Taigen saying something about it…” she closed her eyes and sighed in frustration. Y/N looked down and started fidgeting her her own fingers. “Do you have anything you wanna say or add?”
“The rumors… the- they aren't true. I would never…” she stopped to compose herself before continuing “Whats being said isnt a reflection of my character. I would never do any of the things that anyone is saying.”
“It doesn't matter, thats your own personal business Y/N, and you don't have to defend yourself.” She reached her hands out to calm Y/N as she could see her friend getting worked up. Mizu had meant well with her words. She had meant to phrase it as if there was nothing wrong even if the rumors were true, but Y/N shook her head fiercely as if objecting to her statement.
“It does matter for me!” Mizu’s eyes widened at the sudden voice raise from Y/N. She had never seen Y/N so angry about anything, and it worried her. “ I care about how you think of me… and right now, all I've been hearing is how I'm some slut making her way through the campus…I don't want you to see me like that, because thats not me. I want you to know the real me.” she paused. She could feel the tears in the corner of her eyes and hated the way that no matter how many times she blinked, they wouldn't go away. She took a deep breath in before finally saying “And I just want to know one person actually believes me… I’m so tired of being told what I am and what I’m not…”
“I believe you.” Mizu firmly said after thinking for a minute.
“Y-you do?” Y/N asked, hesitant at Mizu’s answer.
“I do. Over the past few months that we’ve talked, I never took you for the type. And I like to think I'm able to read a person very well. Regardless of what anyone else says about you, I like you…” Her words rang in Y/Ns head. They were warm and truthful and honestly, it made majority of Y/N’s fears disappear. Still- Y/N stared at Mizu in shock, not sure how to respond. The way Mizu stared at her with a small smile of reassurance and the gentleness of the hand that was placed atop of hers made this feel like a more intimate moment than it originally was. Then a cough erupted from Mizu-
“I mean- I like hanging out with you and you are really cool…” she placed a hand behind her head, a little bit of an awkward pose, and Y/N giggled responding back
“I like you too.” With that, Mizu sighed out and felt reassured by the pat of Y/N's hand on the back of her own. She had never been good with affection…
“So.. Now I guess we should start talking about how to solve this situation…” Mizu prompts, and Y/N raises an eyebrow.
“Solve it? How do we do that?” Y/N asked. She had tried to ignore it and that hadn’t worked, and Y/N standing up for herself made her worry that she would be bullied and targeted even more.
“Well, there are many ways we can do that, however it all depends on who started this and why? Do you know anyone who isn't particularly keen towards you? Anyone who would want to damage you reputation?” Mizu started tapping her fingers on the table, and Y/N shrunk her shoulders in embarrassment.
And so Y/N explained it. She started from the beginning, of how she had received a text (she left out that it was mizu’s text that started this), and how some of the girls in her class had made it their priority to ruin her reputation within their field of work all because Y/N had tried to stand up for herself.
There is a quiet that hangs in the air as the tap of Mizu’s finger stops. That instills more fear in Y/N than anything that Mizu could have said to her, as the blue eyed woman just stares at her intently. And then, as if in slow motion, Y/N sees it register in Mizu’s eyes what to do, and she starts babbling, saying anything she can to talk Mizu out of whatever she had planned.
“I-its not that big of a deal Mizu, Im a big girl and can handle myself- Besides i've heard much worse sa-” But before Y/N can ramble anymore, Mizu lays a gentle hand over her mouth. Not hard enough to truly silence her, but close enough that Y/N gets the hint and stops mid-sentence.
“Shut it. Nothing you say or do will change my mind.” Yeah, Y/N knew that. Knew better than anyone that when Mizu is set in her ways, she bends others to her will to achieve her goals. And so, there was really nothing that Y/N could do to change her mind, but even then, that was a hard pill to swallow.
“So… what are you planning on doing now?” Y/N asked, after Mizu removed her hand.
“Hmm. You'll see.” She shrugged as she stood up, gathering not only her things, but Y/N’s as well, and throwing it over her shoulder.
“I don't like the way that sounds… Also- where are you taking my things???” Y/N stood as well and stared incredulously at Mizu’s back as she walked away.
“We are going to go get dinner- my treat.” Y/N couldn't argue with that, and if she did, there is no doubt Mizu would walk away with her belongings and leave her without a computer or her textbook, so Y/N followed. She couldn't stay mad though, dinner was good and it tasted better knowing Mizu believed her and still wanted to see her.
—------
The next day, Y/N attended class, with her head down low, and trying to be as noticeable as possible, though that proved harder than she thought. Throughout the class she could hear students whispering about her. She couldn't make out exactly what they were saying but she knew what they were talking about. As the class wrapped up and the first student left, a familiar figure walked through the door and made a straight line towards Y/N.
“Mizu?” The shock of seeing the woman here had Y/N speechless “How did you know that I have this class today? And that I get out at this time?” Y/N asked Mizu, as Mizu picked up her bag for her. This was becoming a regular occurrence and Y/N wasn't sure weather she liked it or made her worry for Mizu’s back (especially with all the books she carries).
“That one day we were texting and you said you got out in 5 minutes? I made it a point to remember your schedule after that day.” Y/N blushed, and just gave a small ‘thank you’. Before either of them could get away though, they were both stopped.
“Hold it right there-” Mizu turned around, murder on her face, and Y/N shivered. She had to make a mental note to never get on Mizu’s bad side. And as she turned to look at who had stopped them, the fear she had of Mizu vanished and a cold ran through her.
It was her… the one who had started the rumors about Y/N and put her in this place in the first place. She felt so many emotions, mainly ranging from anger to sadness. Mizu on the other hand, just saw red.
“So what? Are you dating now too? I didn't know that Y/N slept around with both guys and girls-” Her high pitch voice rang in Y/N’s ears, and she felt her ears go red at the question and just the thought of it. However, Mizu’s face showed no indicator that the question had affected her at all. In fact, she gave a sly grin, and before Y/N could answer the question for the both of them, Mizu responded.
“Sure we are. Actually- Im the boyfriend that is being referred to…” The girl widened her eyes, as if not believing what she was hearing. Actually, Y/N was quite sure that a majority of the class who had not left were now focusing on their conversation after hearing Mizu publicly announce her affiliation with Y/N. Not only her affiliation- BUT THAT THEY WERE DATING?! “Not that that should matter to anyone else, especially not garbage like you.” A few gasps emerged from the students. No one dared to defend the girl against Mizu. And in a swift fashion, Mizu reached an arm around Y/N’s waist and brought her closer. “And I can assure you, that whatever rumors are flying around are false-”
Before anyone could argue against Mizu, Mizu was practically dragging Y/N away.
‘M-mizu?!” Y/N whispered as they both walked away, Mizu’s hand pressed on her back feeling heavier and more prominent than it probably was. This would surely gain the attention of not only the students in her class but now the upper class, now that Mizu was involved.
The only response that Y/N received was a barely an explanation: “If they want something to talk about, we’ll both give them something to talk about.”
————-
Hello reader, this was honestly a hot mess- and definetly not grammatically correct. Still, hope I got the general idea of this across!
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vixstarria · 2 days
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Bloodbang Chronicles
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Chapter 1
Series summary:
Five years have passed since the confrontation with the Netherbrain. Astarion and his warlock lover, Asmodea, are living it up in Baldur’s Gate, running a cabaret. Their life of decadence and debauchery seems idyllic, until Asmodea’s patron disrupts it with a proposal. One that seems too good to be true. One they cannot refuse.
Pairing: Astarion x Original Female Character
Genre: Humor / adventure / smut (not all in this chapter), with all the usual Astarion-related elements along the way, without getting too heavy
Rating: Explicit
Chapter word count: 2,700
Updates weekly if I can help it
This is a post-game continuation of my bardlock series, which was mostly written in 2nd person POV, with the OC referred to as “Tav” where they had to be named. Rest assured it’s been about Asmodea all along. You can consider the oneshots a prequel. I will still add on to them until I’ve covered the in-game events.
AO3 | Overall masterlist
Thank you @brabblesblog for beta reading! ♥
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“It’s not my bloody problem you’re bored,” the woman muttered, coming down the backstairs and into the kitchen. 
She wore a silk kimono robe, red hair in a dishevelled bun, traces of yesterday’s makeup still smudged under her eyes.
“And I just woke up, how exactly did you expect me to entertain you while I was sleeping anyway?” she continued.
At times dealing with her patron felt like handling a petulant child. What a disturbing thought… She wasn’t particularly fond of children, petulant or otherwise.
Other times, the patron raved like a lunatic, or lectured her like a child, or just giggled maniacally, or, on occasion, even shared surprisingly astute and helpful observations or advice.
But just then, she wished it would simply be quiet, or better yet - gone from her head entirely, at least until the pounding subsided.
Last night had been… a bit much.
I’m getting too old for this, she thought idly, before brushing the thought aside. Being a half-elf, it was another 100 years or so before she really had reason to worry about her age. Provided nothing killed her by then, of course.
She poured herself some coffee from a pot mercifully brewed by the kitchen staff just earlier. They were used to the hours she kept.
“Can’t you go play with the other fey..? Torture some elves, turn some mortals into trees and then piss on them, or whatever it is your kind do? Shoo!” She hissed at her patron, turning into the bar section of the establishment. It was only mid-afternoon, a few hours still before it opened. Perhaps she could enjoy some peace and quiet there, alone with her coffee.
“…she must work here…” she overhead a hushed murmur coming from a nearby booth. Lifting her eyes from her mug, she saw two faces peering at her in curiosity.
Two young faces, plastered with paints and powders with the vigour, determination and skill of little girls that had just gotten into their mothers’ makeup bags for the very first time. No doubt they tried to sneak in early to avoid paying admission. 
Again? she rolled her eyes inwardly. Very well. Watch this, then.
“Ah! You must be here for the interview?” she asked brightly, approaching the booth.
There was, of course, no interview, and the two girls - a blonde and a brunette - simply looked at each other, no doubt wondering whether this was a good lie to try to latch on to. They weren’t thinking very quickly, as they still hadn’t managed to produce any response by the time the woman made herself comfortable in the booth with them. At least they didn't seem to question the idea of being interviewed by a hungover loon in a dressing gown. It may have been the norm in this establishment, for all they knew.
“Um… Yes.” The blonde finally spoke, taking the bait that was offered. “We’re looking for work in the evenings, perhaps? We’re from the academy, you see…”
“I see…” the woman hummed, sipping her coffee. “First years?”
“Third”, the brunette said proudly.
Old enough to be here then, at least.
“And so you’ve come here,” the woman stated. “May I ask why? Shouldn’t you be tutoring other fine young ladies? Or perhaps scribing? Anything that’s not so lowbrow, really.”
She continued to sip her coffee, waiting to see what they would come up with. Their cogs were turning painfully slow, to her disappointment.
“Oh no, not at all…” The blonde stammered. “We’ve heard such wonderful things about the owners.”
“Have you now?” The woman couldn’t help but laugh. “What have you heard?”
‘Wonderful’ was hardly a word that might ever have been used to describe anything about them.
“Is it true that the proprietor is a vampire?” the brunette blurted out, finally, as her friend glared at her.
Ah, there we go, to the point at last…
“Why do you ask?” The woman smiled into her mug.
A figure appeared behind the bar as she spoke. It moved silently, wrapped head to toe in a maroon silk sheet, searching through the bar’s selection of wines. The girls did not see it, both facing the opposite direction.
“Well…” the brunette perked up. “We’ve heard some rumours… And wanted to know if they were true. …And whether what they say about vampires is true.”
“Oh? What do they say?” The woman leaned in conspiratorially.
The brunette bit her lip, suddenly unsure whether to continue. The woman found herself growing impatient.
“What is it you really want to know?” She asked, leaning a little further in, penetrating the brunette with her gaze. “You can tell me.”
Something in the swirl of the woman’s irises enticed the girl. Yes, of course she could tell her. She was a friend.
At this point the blonde had spotted the telltale bite marks on the woman’s neck, and was quite unsubtly staring at them whilst elbowing her friend.
The brunette ignored her, instead leaning in as well, to whisper.
“For example, is it true that being bitten by a vampire is like…” here she paused, looking a bit flustered. Clearly despite her enthusiasm some words were just too much for her. “Is like… a little death?” she said finally, in a hushed, wide-eyed whisper, as her friend sighed in disbelief and coloured.
“Would you like to find out?” the woman whispered back, before raising her head to call out to the shrouded figure. “Astarion, there are some young harlots here to see you.”
“More harlots?!” Astarion groaned in mock exhaustion, picking up a goblet and making his way to the booth with his choice of bottle. “What is a man to do with all these harlots?”
The squeal both girls let out did nothing for the woman’s headache.
A ray of sunlight snuck past a partially drawn curtain and pierced the air between Astarion and the booth.
“Ugh,” he huffed, pausing before the ray. “Darling, do you mind..?”
“Of course, love,” the woman said, before flexing her mind to pull on a multitude of telekinetic strings. Instantaneously, curtains all around the room pulled themselves closed, shutters slammed shut, and a multitude of candles ignited to light up the space.
Settling in the booth on the other side of the two girls, Astarion finally allowed the sheet to slip off his head and halfway down his torso, revealing his alabaster skin and sculpted muscles. He seemed to be wearing nothing underneath the sheet draped around him. The stunning effect would have been ruined somewhat had anyone noticed the fluffy pink slippers on his feet.
Astarion poured himself the wine, pointedly ignoring the girls, before reaching for the woman’s hand and placing a kiss on her knuckles.
“May I?” he purred. Having obtained her assent, he pierced one of her fingers with a fang, to drip a few drops of blood into his wine.
It was only then the woman noticed that, quite uncharacteristically, the blonde was staring at her rather than at Astarion.
“Madam Asmodea…” the girl whispered, in awe.
“‘Madam’?!” Asmodea scoffed. “This is a theatre, not a brothel!”
Astarion finally deigned to look at the two dolts in the booth.
“Well… These ones are fresher than the musty harlots from yesterday. Unspoiled and virginal…” he mused, sipping his wine. “You are a virgin, are you not?” he directed at the brunette.
The girl merely sputtered and coloured.
“No matter,” Astarion sighed, shaking his head.
“Do we really want to go through all that trouble again so soon, my heart?” Asmodea said, wearily. “All that blood…” she groaned theatrically.
“Hmm… Do you think it will be too soon to order another mattress?” Astarion said innocently, swirling the wine in his goblet.
“Absolutely, the supplier is already getting suspicious, and so are the removalists.”
“We’ll say I couldn’t keep down a boar I’d drained again.”
Both girls were growing increasingly more agitated by the second, on the verge of hyperventilating as much as their unnecessarily tightly laced corsets would allow.
“It’s not just that,” Asmodea said, pushing her coffee mug further away from her. Once the girls finally broke out of their stupor and fled, they’d no doubt run through her side of the booth, and she didn’t want anything spilled on her robe. “There’s two of them again, the blood will leak all the way through the boards, we’ll need to have the entire floor redone as well - do you remember what a hassle that was?”
“You’re right… Shall we take them straight to the dungeon then? That way the incinerator is right there once we’re done,” Astarion said with a malevolent grin.
At last, the girls made a run for it, screaming. Thankfully, they both opted to topple right over the backs of the booth’s seats, tripping over their skirts several times before scampering up and finally making it back out through the door. With another push of her mind, Asmodea slammed the door shut behind them, blocking out the sun. She really needed to start taking it easy, she thought, the exercise took more effort than usual.
Still in their seats, Astarion and Asmodea shared a look of pure mischievous mirth, before bursting into laughter.
“Gods…” Astarion chortled. “This never gets old.”
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Five years had passed since the confrontation with the Elder Brain.
Astarion was a wreck once the insane ploy he had been pulled into was over.
Once he could finally stop worrying about survival or what the next day might bring, once he didn’t have to wallow in uncertainty anymore, once he could stop running on pure desperate instinct, he suddenly found himself not knowing what he wanted, or even who he was.
No Cazador. No tadpole. No immunity to the sun. Not a single thing to call his own, and not a clue about what he wanted to do for the rest of the eternity which had miraculously been afforded him. Nothing but the weight of the past 200 years. And, despite all odds, his lunatic bard-turned-warlock love. Still by his side.
The pair had initially travelled with Halsin for some time.
The decision was made not least because they thought it prudent to try to steer clear of the 1,000 or so newly freed spawn which Astarion had personally lured to Cazador, until they had dispersed into the Underdark. His siblings had offered him a spot at the top of whatever hierarchy the vampires would end up falling into, but he declined. It would likely have ended as a death sentence - if not for him, then for Asmodea.
As for Halsin - the druid had proven to be an island of comfort and stability for both of them, having grown close, very close in the time they spent together in the Shadow-cursed Lands and Baldur’s Gate. Asmodea had also simply found it nice to let someone whom she could trust take charge and make decisions for a change, which Astarion was certainly not in the right state of mind to do at the time. 
But, it wasn’t long before Halsin began talking about taking care of orphans, and generally having a bigger and better heart than Astarion and Asmodea felt they had any right to lay any claim to, and it was time to part ways. They returned to Baldur’s Gate.
By that point Asmodea had a plan. As well as all the perks that came with emerging from the group’s final battle as the ‘hero of Baldur’s Gate’.
It started as a dingy, underground (quite literally) gambling den. Anything to pretend that there was life in the shadows, and that keeping to night hours was something people did as a matter of course.
The gambling den expanded into a pub. Which expanded into a tavern with a small stage, attracting ever-changing artists and acts.
The venues continued to move, change and grow, until eventually the pair boasted a sprawling establishment named The Dancing Siren, comprising a bar, restaurant and theatre, with private rooms on the top floors.
Asmodea didn’t much care for the bar and restaurant, but rather operated them out of necessity and for convenience. Livestock with fresh blood was delivered to the doorstep, keeping Astarion sated. They didn’t even need to set up a front for it.
The theatre, on the other hand, was Asmodea’s pride and joy. The pinnacle of what she had once dreamed of, but never thought she would have the means to realise.
The shows were pure debauchery - lewd comedy, song and dance; the performers clad in ostentatious costumes, all feather boas, lingerie and sequins.
Entering the theatre was like stepping onto a different plane, one set in a perpetual haze of smoke and perfume, decorated in vulgar, flamboyant decadence.
Astarion had started as an observer, a bemused witness to his lover’s vision coming true.
Despite his initial scepticism, he was gradually pulled in more and more, perhaps spurred by his own penchant for theatrics and craving for attention.
As time passed, he found himself directing, assisting with costumes, and occasionally performing or stepping in as the master of ceremonies, when the need arose.
He had an undeniable talent for choreography.
He also looked sinfully good in a corset.
If Astarion ever regretted his choice to forego completing the ritual in Cazador’s stead, it only showed in his lamentations at being unable to unleash legions of wolves on disorderly guests, or to turn into mist in the face of tax collectors. 
Throughout the five years, Astarion’s identity as a vampire remained the worst kept secret in Baldur’s Gate. It was never quite publicly admitted, of course, but neither was it denied. The Duke’s personal protection guaranteed that he would be undisturbed, at least by the authorities, and at least as long as he ‘behaved’.
There was never any shortage of fools who were willing to throw themselves at him, should he desire variety in sentient blood, anyway.
Life was a beautiful gilded cage of the pair’s own construction. The door was perpetually left open, but why would they ever leave..?
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Asmodea sat at her vanity, getting ready for the night ahead, when an external presence filled her mind once again.
“HOW LONG WILL YOU CONTINUE TO SQUANDER MY GIFTS ON IMPRESSING BUFFOONS WITH CHEAP PARLOUR TRICKS?”
She winced at the intrusion.
“Use your inside voice, dear, there’s no need to shout,” she murmured, continuing her preparations. “You are more than welcome to vacate my mind and take your gifts with you - I don’t owe you anything, and there is sufficient sorcery in my blood for moving curtains and lighting candles.”
Her patron came and went as it pleased. She could feel its presence when it was observing. She knew it could see through her eyes. She knew it was aware of each instance of her calling upon its powers. She chose to speak out loud to it, when she could. That seemed to place a divide between their communication and her thoughts.
Five years with hardly a need to use the magic granted by the fey creature. Still, it stayed with her.
“So you say. And yet, you continue to uphold the contract yourself. Asmodea.”
“How does the saying go? Better two birds in the hand, than discovering you can no longer set fire to the bush?” she countered.
The presence snickered.
“Yes… Always grasping and never quite reaching. Always running. Ignoring. Pretending. Denying. You said it yourself... Tell me, little one, what need have you for the birds, when fire is what you yearn for?”
“Do you even understand what you’re going on about, or are you just saying words?” Asmodea murmured, lining her eyes.
“Your senses dull, your mind frails, your muscles weaken, your body softens-”
“Lae’zel..? Has it been you this whole time..?!” She mused.
“Your powers weaken, your very essence decays.”
Asmodea tossed her brush onto the vanity and locked eyes with her own reflection, glaring at it as she might have liked to at her nameless, faceless patron.
“What the fuck do you want?” she spat.
“A new deal.”
“I am more than happy with our current arrangement.”
“Are you..?” The presence chuckled.“And what if I told you, that I can give you more..? That I can lead you to that, which you desire most? That I can help you resolve your predicament?”
She continued to stare at her reflection, narrowing her eyes, drumming her fingernails on the tabletop.
“I’m listening.”
Tags:
Taking some liberties here to include people who I think might be interested - do let me know if you don't want to be on this list
@littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tallymonster @tragedybunny @spunky-89 @acourtofpenandpaper @yoonshope @lariatbunny @whiskeyskin @spacebarbarianweird @brabblesblog @littlejuicebox @icybluepenguin @snowfolly
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randomfoggytiger · 3 days
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I first want to say, I love your fic lists and meta posts so much!
This is probably going to sound so silly. I have been a casual lurker in the x files fandom on Tumblr for a couple of years after i got into the show my last semester of college. I'm now realizing my hyperfixation isn't going away any time soon, and I want to start being more active here in this community. Maybe start posting some of the fic I've written just for fun. Everyone is so creative and talented; I'm a little overwhelmed and I'm not totally sure how to start? Any recommendations for how to start participating a bit more? Thank you 💗
An honor to be asked-- thank you! :DDD
For friendships and connections, I'd start engaging with posts in either tags or comments or-- most importantly-- asks. People want to be included in thoughts or conversations here (or just to chat); and that's how I became mutuals with a bunch of people.
I highly recommend @baronessblixen for any and all asks (and beautiful short fics)-- she loves new fans, and is highly receptive to conversations (she also encouraged me to move from anon to Tumblr user)-- and @deathsbestgirl for any and all meta-- she constantly engages with tags and comments (and we love to go back and forth with ideas, etc.) @x-files-scripts and @dunhamhairograpy post scripts from the original show; @scullysflannel, @myassbrokethefall, @iconicscullyoutfits, @perplexistan, @pennyserenade, and deathsbestgirl write incredible meta; @amplifyme, @aloysiavirgata, @suitablyaggrieved, @slippinmickeys, @cecilysass, @storybycorey, @settle-down-frohike, @leiascully, @writingwell, @sigritandtheelves, @jessahmewren, @dreamingofscully and @sixhours are long-time writers that are still active(ish) in the fandom; @mondfuchs, @opentheskies, @tennant-the-tigger post art; @mappingthexfiles, @trusttnno1, and @samanthamulder create edits or gifs; @carrie11 and @thatfragilecapricorn30 post nature photography; and @dd-is-my-guiltypleasure and @whovianderson keep up with David and Gillian respectively (btw, the actors' relationships are probably the most divided issue in this fandom-- I vote "not a big deal", personally.)
I can't recommend all the current writers I keep up with (wordspace), but I reblog them here or from my archives on the @x-files-fics second account I opened. I participated in an event last year with @welsharcher, @agent-troi, baronessblixen, and @numinousmysteries which can be found under the @eightnightsofmulder blog~. Authors I wish would come back to Tumblr are endless but @wtfmulder, @melforbes, @enigmaticdrblockhead, @onpaperfirst are on the list.
Like any fandom, there are divided lines between groups; but most people don't play those games and reblog from whomever they want (unless actively blocked.)
Resources: @today-in-fic collects all fics on Tumblr, and @ao3feed-msr collects the Ao3 ones. @lilydalexf is the original compiler (masterpost here.) I have resources for searching any and all fic here; and my fic compilations/meta posts/Personality Types-MBTI(ish) posts/xf fanvids/extra content are here.
Hope that helps!
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north-noire · 3 days
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north!! i hope ur doing well!! im really interested and curious abt jennifer emily shes seems very giving in tough love but i hope i request some hcs or sketches im already in love with her i love her i love her id do anything for her
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I've been doing well the best I could, but thanks for asking! It's been an exhausting time for me, but I'm getting by :] Here's a colored sketch of her, as you requested! Still working on her reference so she'll take a bit (same to the others as well), but I hope this suffices!
Thank you for being interested in my grumpy gal, and for the lovely ask! I'll try my best to explain my headcanons and that kind of thing for her! And honestly same, I would just do whatever she wanted so that I don't get on her bad side lmao.
Plus I really like the idea of Henry having an older sister - originally she wasn't really in the story, but I really liked the idea of an outsider from the Freddy's drama finding out what kind of thing Henry got himself into, and I thought Jennifer suited that role nicely.
Jennifer Emily in my AU - she's a very tough love and blunt kind of woman (Henry unintentionally got his bluntness from her partially), preferring to just be straightforward rather than sugarcoating everything. She just prefers having things done first before she deals with the ungodly things called emotions - she can be a bit brash and can get easily irritable, but she means well, she just says what's on her mind sometimes, so she can sound pretty harsh and brutal. And sadly, she's not really the best at consoling someone or helping them get through their emotions, but she tries her best to console in a different way.
She's a car mechanic, but genuinely has an interest in racing cars (even got racer's jackets and photos of race tracks/racing tournaments she had watched - she's a racing fan, damn she would've loved the Cars movie lmao) and custom car stuff (I imagine her car is like modified a bit to look like a race car for the aesthetic - probably would've collected sports car toys and the like) and that kind of thing - she really wanted to be a racer someday, but alas, that's simply just a child's dream, but she's happy enough to be someone who fixes something she loves as a living, but she was definitely frustrated with the whole misogynistic remarks she gets for just being a car mechanic. Also she doesn't Henry to repair his own car and would rather find him and his run-down car in the middle of nowhere than get him to try and repair it on his own. Another thing, it's never explicitly said in the story/treated as a big deal at all, but my Jennifer is a lesbian woman, and Henry doesn't really care and loves her all the same regardless (and honestly he's not even surprised mostly because he sort of knew she dated women before). She never really found luck finding love though, but she tries her best to go by her life regardless.
Back when Henry and William were just new friends back in college years, she highly disliked William - Henry always argued back/stood up for William, but she just never really liked him. Her personality would always clash with William's, and she really doesn't like how wishy-washy William can be and how much he puts on a show for people, and how much he can be a "people-pleaser" in her perspective. The British accent also made her feel like he was being pretentious and posh individual. Of course, years down the line, Jennifer just sort of got used and just kept her dislike for William all to herself/to Henry, but Henry sometimes alludes to it sometimes in a light-hearted manner.
She also lives alone, with her dog (A Doberman, they're very sweet) :] She never really saw herself as someone who can take care of kids, let alone know how to deal with them, so she's honestly living the best life she could! It's honestly why she doesn't mind Henry coming over every once in a while, she doesn't like to admit it but she gets a little lonely there by herself sometimes.
Sorry for another long post, but I really hope I've explained her stuff well! Thanks for the ask as well it was really fun answering this question!
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winterlogysblog · 3 days
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4KOTA FANFIC | Based from @crystaldrops20 's idea💡
I finally finished it lol
Note: My grammar still sucks so bear with me
Nasiens is tasked with one thing. One important thing, and that is, to bring Percival back. It's not a simple task, it's a quite complicated one that might take years to accomplish but Nasiens won't give up, producing medicine is the one thing that he knows and he'll do the best that he can to make the medicine that will wake him up. They took him to the Fairy Realm, it was Lancelot's idea, and Meliodas approved of it.
With Lancelot's guidance, they traveled towards the Fairy King's Forest with Anne and Donny tagging along. Lancelot seems quite familiar with the place which isn't too surprising since he's half-fairy. Nasiens is optimistic but nervous, he's presenting himself to royalty after all. Lancelot must have noticed this and reassured him. "Don't worry too much, you'll be fine in there."
"What is he even like?" Donny asked. "You mentioned him before, you said he taught you a few spells, right?"
"Yeah, Tristan even said that he made you your clothes," Anne added. "Which isn't really something he would do to just anybody given his status."
Lancelot sighed. "Might as well... You see, the Fairy King... he's my uncle."
"What?!" The three erupted
"It's not that big of a deal okay." Lancelot shrugged.
"What do you mean not that big of a deal!!!" Donny shouted. "This is really important information!!"
"Listen... don't think about it too much all right. Uncle isn't the type of person who cares about these things, and since you guys are my buddies I guarantee you he'll just make you call him by his name."
And true to Lancelot's words that is exactly what happened. And that is how Nasiens got himself into the Fairy Realm and it was filled to the brim with various things he could use, and it made him hopeful that he could actually do this. The Fairy King placed Percival inside the Cave of Whispers, he didn't get the chance to ask him the reason for this since he was still quite unsure of how to approach the monarch.
Everything is as it should be, he is given the opportunity of a lifetime to explore a realm that is perfect for his abilities and with a goal in mind, there is nothing that should stop him. During his time there, he made good friends with Tioreh, the Fairy King's youngest daughter and her other siblings seem to like him as well, except for their eldest. From time to time Lancelot would visit and would bring Anne and Donny with him.
"How's everything?" Donny asked him as they gathered inside the Cave of Whispers.
"The usual, although my experiments keep on failing." Nasiens lowered his head.
"Come on man. It's only been what? a couple of months since you got here. I'm sure there are tons of things you haven't tried yet, you'll find a way." Donny patted him reassuringly on the shoulder.
"How is it living here then?" Anne asked.
"It's fine. I'm still easing up on the whole thing. Sometimes, I still get quite nervous around them even though they're so friendly." Nasiens answered. "I got used to being with Tioreh though, I'm not quite sure about the others."
"That's good at least." Lancelot nodded. "Out of everyone, Tioreh and Belte are the easiest to get along with, Sixtus is a bit tricky but I'm sure he'll like you."
Nasiens can't help but chuckle. Lancelot turns into a different person when he's around his family, he gets so giddy and fun like he finally gets to loosen up a bit.
"I mean when I first met Sixtus you're the person who came to mind. You two are quite a lot alike." Nasiens said.
"Fair." Lancelot nodded.
"Mertyl doesn't seem to like me all that much, to be honest," Nasiens added.
"I guess I can see why." Nasiens heard Lancelot said. "He's always been so insecure."
"What would Mertyl be insecure about?" Nasiens asked.
"What?" Lancelot raised a brow.
"You said something about how you can see why Mertyl doesn't like me because he's insecure about something. I wanna know what it is about."
"I didn't..." Lancelot mumbled under his breath.
"Lancelot didn't say anything like that."
"I'm pretty sure he did, I heard him."
"Nasiens... You just read my mind." Lancelot breathed out.
"What?! You're joking, right? You're the one who can read minds around here Lancelot."
"I'm not kidding, I can guarantee that you just read my mind just then."
"All right, even if I did, how is that even possible?"
"Nasiens... have you been taking any Mullein pills since you got here?" Lancelot asked.
"Mullein pills? No. I haven't, and what that has to do with anything?" Upon Nasiens' answer, Donny and Anne were taken aback, a small gasp escaping their mouths.
"I've been giving these two Mullein pills every time we visit because the atmosphere of the Fairy Realm is toxic to humans, it causes dizziness and asthma if they're exposed for too long."
"What?" Nasiens gasped. "But how come I experienced none of that, in fact, my health actually got better ever since I got here."
Lancelot sighed heavily. "Oh dear."
"Lancelot... you know something don't you." Donny turned to the blonde but he stayed silent, his head stayed low. "Hey! Say something!"
Lancelot simply chuckled. "So it is true."
"Nasiens... you're smart, you could put two and two together, right?"
Nasiens lowered his head. "I'm... I'm a fairy, aren't I?" Anne and Donny's eyes widened. "How long have you known?" Nasiens asked Lancelot.
"I have my suspicions, The ability to be immune to poisons is quite rare for humans but is natural to the Fairy Clan, that was my first hint. But, you never exhibited anything else other than that so I suppose that was just a unique thing that you could do because of your magic." Lancelot explained. "Then... this happened."
"I see." Nasiens nodded.
"Hey! Don't be upset!" Anne rushed over to him. "No matter what you are, you're still Nasiens, nothing will change."
"She's right!" Donny added. "I'm sure Percival will say the same thing, know what I bet he'll be super excited to know that you're a fairy this entire time."
Nasiens smiled as they comforted him, truthfully, he wasn't all that upset, he was actually glad that he got to know more about his origins and slowly he gets to hear what's inside their hearts, he gets to hear their love and care for him.
"Lancelot! Aren't you gonna say anything?! You're the one who dropped this on him! Be a little considerate come on!" Anne scolded Lancelot.
"Could you two wait outside for a bit? I need to speak to Nasiens alone." Lancelot said, his voice low, his bangs covering his eyes.
"Don't give us that! If you have anything to say to him, you can say it to us! We're all friends here!"
"Fine." Lancelot sighed, slowly walking over to Nasiens as he spoke.
"I had another cousin, his name is Galehaut. I've been told that he was taken away, a changeling a prank, a stupid and cruel prank where a fairy and human baby were switched. Uncle and Auntie were absolutely devasted at the time, I couldn't even comprehend it myself but I was told that the fairy who did it wasn't a part of the forest, it was someone from the outside, which made it even more impossible to find him. They tried their best but they couldn't and they had to accept the fact that they ultimately lost their firstborn."
"Lancelot... where are you going with this?"
"Galehaut has brown hair and amber eyes, that's what I've been told." Lancelot continued. "Nasiens... when I first met you... you reminded me so much of my uncle." A small tear escaped Lancelot's eyes. "From the way you look to your determination to save the Gorge." Lowering his head he chuckled."It's crazy that I only realized this just now... I can't believe it has been you this entire time."
Nasiens is stunned. Lancelot, he's crying. He's overwhelmed with emotions, he can hear it, he can hear it perfectly. There are no lies to what he said, everything is true and genuine. A small tear fell from his eyes as well, soft sobs escaping him.
"I know you have questions, rightfully so, but I can't answer all of them," Lancelot said. "We'll talk this thing through with everybody, it won't be easy but... I'll be there. We're family now after all."
Donny and Anne were left dumbfounded by what just occurred, everything just seemed so crazy that it couldn't be true, but it was. For the first time, Lancelot is clean. Anne can see it, he's not hiding anything, and everything he has said is true.
Unbeknownst to them, some are looking in and listening in to the conversation. Two fairies, one boy and one girl.
"Hey! Did you hear that!" One whisper yelled.
"Yeah! So... Nassie is our brother." The other one responded.
"That's what Lancelot said, besides you heard all those rumors. They couldn't just come from anywhere."
"What about Mertyl then?"
"Come on! He's still our big brother, and I highly doubt this will change anything. Think of it like we'll have another sibling but instead of having a younger one we'll have someone older."
Amidst to their whispering, another voice joined in.
"What are you two doing here sneaking around for?"
The two fairies turned around and flew upwards in shock and held each other.
"Sixtus!" They cried in unison.
"Well... Tioreh is about to visit Nasiens and she mentioned that Lancelot would be here so I tagged along." Belte explained. "Then we just so happened to overhear their conversation and..."
"Sixtus... Nassie is our brother." Tioreh spoke softly.
"What!?"
"Dude, you must have heard the rumors right? You know about the name every elder refuses to talk about." Belte flew over to his brother.
"Galehaut," Sixtus spoke softly. "It's the name of Mom and Dad's firstborn."
"How did you know?"
"I asked Dad about it years ago, his answer did not match what his heart said. I don't know why they kept it from us but I suppose it's for Mertyl's sake. He has always been insecure about his standing."
"We heard it. Lancelot said it himself. Nasiens is Galehaut!" Belte shouted a little too loud.
"Hey!!" It's Lancelot. "Belte!! It's rude to spy on people."
"Now you've done it!" Tioreh glared at her brother.
"You too Tioreh!!"
Sixtus rolled his eyes and sighed. "Just go inside."
Upon entering, Tioreh and Belte hang their head low not wanting to see Lancelot glaring at them which he really isn't.
"Seriously." Lancelot raised a brow. "You too Sixtus."
"As if." Sixtus scoffed. "I'm the one who caught these hooligans."
"On a serious note, is it true?" Sixtus asked for confirmation and Lancelot affirmed it with a nod.
"I see."
"That's amazing!!" Tioreh cheered and flew over to Nasiens to give him a hug. Flabbergasted, Nasiens stayed still. "I have a new big brother!!"
"Come on man! Loosen up a bit!!" Belte laughed without a care in the world.
Lancelot just chuckled at his cousins' antics and Sixtus smiled.
"Don't worry, I'll talk to Mertyl." Sixtus said.
"Thanks." Lancelot smiled.
"Did you seriously just realize this now?" Sixtus chuckled, deciding to be a bit playful.
"Oh shut up! You guys didn't realize this too." Lancelot exclaimed.
"Well... I did." Sixtus smirked, flipping himself upside down.
"Me too!!" Tioreh added, clinging onto Nasiens.
"I mean, I kinda got it." Belte shrugged.
"Hah! Liar!!"
"What do you mean!! He looks a lot like them. Anyone would have guessed!!" Sixtus chuckled. "Especially me, I've been told that I'm the spitting image of my father."
"I still can't get that one." Belte shook his head.
"Uncle looks different when he's younger. Just imagine Sixtus with his hair and eye color and you got it." Lancelot replied.
"Quick! Change! I wanna see it." Tioreh squealed.
"What?! No!!"
"Do it!!" Belte insisted. "It's not that hard."
"Still a no." Sixtus shook his head.
"Sixty... Please..." Tioreh pleaded. "Do it for Nassie." She shoved Nasiens who is getting overwhelmed but growing comfortable with their interactions.
"Say something," Tioreh whispered into his ear.
"Uhhh... I'm curious what His Majesty looks like when he is younger as well." Nasiens said.
Sixtus stayed silent for a while until a small idea came to mind.
"Fine. I'll do it." Sixtus smirked. "But... Call him father first."
Lancelot choked out a laugh, falling on his knees, Tioreh let out a cheer of excitement and Belte gave Sixtus a high five.
Nasiens' cheeks turned red, the very thought of it made him so embarrassed he wanted to melt into a puddle.
"Do it Nassie!!" Tioreh shook him.
"Come on, it'll be fun." Belte clapped his hands.
"You guys are vile." Lancelot laughed. "You're gonna kill the guy."
As the commotion was going on, two figures stood at the entrance of the Cave.
"They all seem to be getting along just fine, there's no need to worry your Majesty."
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Text
Scars and Souvenirs
Chapter 19
Summary: Sy and his lady both retire from the army but not before tragedy befalls Sy. He slowly tries to adjust to life again on their ranch.
Pairing: Sy / OFC
Word count: 2,206
Rating: mentions of war; being a POW, death, talk of trafficking, forced prostitution and assault.
Chapter 19
~~~I was in the hospital for the last 6 days. I had hoped I'd have loads of time to write but in reality I spent that time being a human pin cushion, being sick from meds or having tests. Thanks for being patient with me!~~~
Sy paced impatiently back and forth in the small observation room as he watched Mike through the two way mirror. He'd argued Mike's plea to Walt and the attorneys and they finally relented, though of course there was a cost. Mike wouldn't be allowed to testify at trial after this but they all understood why he needed to do this. He also wanted to do this without Sy or Walt in the room so the compromise was using an interrogation room so they could be close by and see them at all times. He just hoped Mike got the answers he was looking for.
~~~~~~☆~~~~~~
Mike looked up when the door opened. A deputy led Mitch Holmes into the room and cuffed him to the metal ring in the center of the table then left again. Another man, dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase entered. “As agreed on, there will be no recordings, nothing said will be admissible under any circumstances, for anything.  I want it to be known that my client is doing this as an act of kindness and can stop at any time he chooses.” He looked at Mike then at the two way mirror where he knew Walt and Sy were before closing the door and leaving father and son alone while he joined the others behind the glass. 
“Are you OK? I was worried when I heard what happened to you.” Mitch was laying it on thick acting like father of the year. “I can't believe the court let you get involved with that damn man and woman who got you hurt!” He had no idea how much Mike had been told about his involvement in what happened but since he wanted to visit him he doubted that he knew much. Now was time to try and throw Sy and Deb under the bus. If he could get Mike to hate them then he might have a chance with the court. 
“Y..you were worried about me?”
“Of course I was! I should never have agreed to let them take you.”
“The court agreed, not you,” Mike reminded him.
“I've always told you that the court don't give a shit about us and that nosey assed cop neither!” Mitch complained. 
“So, do you have anything you want to ask me?’ when Mitch looked at him like he'd grown a third head he continued. “You've spent your time talking about and blaming everyone but not a single word about you or even me. Why is that?”
“I was talking about how they let you get kidnapped and hurt, Mike. You.. you're not still mad at me over boxin’ your ears when you drank my whiskey are ya? Cause you deserved that,” Mitch shook his finger at him.
Mike shook his head to clear it wondering if he'd somehow ventured into some alternate dimension of crazy. After a few minutes something dawned on him. Walt and Sy had told Mike that Mitch had been held in isolation since being arrested and the only thing he'd been told about Mike was that he'd been rescued and was alive. Mitch had no idea that Mike knew it was him that sold his son to the gang. Sitting up straight Mike leaned closer to the table. “You're a worthless junkie who couldn't pay off his debts so instead of dealing with it like a man, which you aren't, you SOLD me to them! You sold me for the cost of your own fucking habits KNOWING  what they were going to use me for.” 
“You don't talk to me like that!” Mitch snapped.
“Or what? You gonna hit me some more,  Mitch?” He let the sound of the last two letters in his name draw out. “That will never happen again.” Mike stood up and paced around the small room successfully making Mitch antsy and uncomfortable before coming to a stop facing the mirror in front of where Sy was standing on the other side. “When I started trying to arrange this meeting wanted to talk to you about a lot of stuff because I was going to demand answers. The moment I saw you though I realized you would never tell me the truth about anything. You would try to manipulate me to get what you want but nothing more.” He turned to face Mitch. “That being said, what I do want to say,��� he sat down and leaned on the table. “I just wanted to say that I hope your prison stay is everything you deserve it to be and I have some friends now that will help me make sure that your cell mates know that you're available to work off your own debts now. Granted I'm sure you won't bring the same price I would have but they will just have to whore you out twice as much.”
“You little fuck!” Mitch growled and tried to lunge for him. Mike was much too fast and moved out of reach.
~~~~~~♡~~~~~~
Geralt watched intently as the doctor force bent Debbie's knee, ready to jump in if he felt he needed to but the woman was tough. There were tears in her eyes and she had his hand squeezed so tight he could hear the bones creak but she did exactly what she had to do.
“I'm impressed with how well you're doing. Incision is healing nicely and I'm going to start your physical therapy this week. Once they get your leg strength built back up…”
“You're going to do another surgery and then I start all over?” She interjected. 
“Not all over but re-healing, yes. Remember it is going to be a long road but we will get there!” 
“I'll get there…” She mocked as the door shut behind him, throwing a roll of tape in frustration. 
Geralt arched his brow at her and tisked but had to bite his lip when she blushed at his mild scolding. The nurse came in and fit a new brace on her leg. It was shorter and had locks so that she could start to bend the knee slowly and not cause damage. Finally, after setting up physio, the next doctor appointment and getting blood work done they made it out to the truck to head home. “Hungry little one?”
“Starving,” She nodded. 
“Pizza, burgers, Mexican, Chinese?” He listed off nearby options. 
“Chinese,” her stomach growled loudly.
When they were seated and placed their orders Deb sipped on a soda then twirled the straw in the bubbly liquid. “You and Sy are really close. He always talked about you but now that we've met on person I can tell the feelings are mutual.” Geralt took a drink of his water waiting to see where this was going. “None of you have girlfriends. Why?”
“A few of us have had in the past. Napoleon often has a female companion but not for long periods. Will has a girl back where he calls home.” 
“You don't agree with attachments though? You think they are an exploitable weakness.” She looked  down at her plate. 
He pondered carefully before answering.  “I think anything that we love or care about has the potential to be used against us. If the person is evil enough or ruthless enough they will exploit anything.”
“I don't want to be a weakness,” She sighed softly.  “I already have been though, for all of you. He called you to help him but if not for me he wouldn't have needed to.” 
“Don't do anything stupid,” he leveled his eyes at her.
“I'm not, i.. I just don't want to be a reason he gets hurt. I want to be an asset not a burden.” She munched a spring roll. 
~~~~~~☆~~~~~~
Sy stretched his back as he walked through the barn with Mike. It had been a crazy day that started with them and their attorney arguing with Mitch's attorney on whether or not Mike could even see him. Once they met most of Mitch's demands, around four in the afternoon, then it was finally 
tiime for the meeting. “Did you get what you wanted out of the meeting?” He asked Mike.
Mike scratched Rose's snout and neck. “I wanted him to explain why he would do all this to me? Why does he hate me so much that he would sell me to someone who was going to pimp me out? Why?” His voice rose as he turned to face Sy. “What about me is so fucking broken that….” He choked up and spun to the left punching a wall in frustration. 
Sy went to him and pulled him into a hug but quickly let go when Mike fought against it. “Kid you're not the one who's broken, he is. Your old man has an addiction but it's more than that. Mitch is,” he struggled to find the right words. “He's a monster. He is the one who disappointed you, who let you down.”
“No one else ever saw that.” Mike demanded.
“Because it's true,” Sy stood firm. 
“And what about Debbie and everything that happened to her because of me?” He yelled. “She nearly died because you both tried to help me!”
“What? Mike, no, that wasn't your fault. You and Deb both got caught up in something that you had no control over. You didn't do this to her anymore than she did it to you.”
“They took us because Mitch sold me!”
“Walter pulled Deb and I in on the gang case. We got involved knowing the risks, kid. You two happened to be together so they took you both. Your old man set it up, sure but they took her hoping to get information about our investigation.”
“He's right,” Deb said as she limped over to them on her crutches. When they pulled up they saw Sy's truck by the barn and stopped. “Truth be told, we all try to protect each other from bad stuff and sometimes end up making it worse. Sy was working with Walt and shut me out of the investigation trying to protect me. On my end all I saw was him secretly texting and calling some random woman, sneaking off to meet her in secret. Instead of talking to him about it I threw myself into my work which got me involved with the corrupt detective. I convinced myself that what Lindy said about me not being enough for Sy was true and was trying to distance myself so it wouldn't be such a shock when he left me.” It was the first time she'd said some of that out loud. Sy was looking at her like she was from Mars and Mike looked like he wanted it to be true. “I don't even pretend that I have all the answers any more because the truth is that I'm more worried now than ever but the few things I do know, I'm sure of. Love gets you hurt whether it's unintentionally or not. Loving someone makes you a point of weakness for them and leaves them open to getting hurt. What is the alternative? We've all found each other and formed bonds which I think we are weaker without. If we run away from each other then we're vulnerable and will do anything to find each other.” She scrubbed her hands over her face in frustration.  “I can't make you believe the truth any more than I can force you to stay here if you're determined to leave. None of this was your fault and I hope you believe that, Mike.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead, “and we want you here.”
Everything broke through Mike's walls at once and they crumbled. He wrapped his arms around Deb and buried his face against her shoulder and neck as the dam broke and he sobbed. He sobbed for his past, his childhood, his asshole father, his mom that left him and all the shit that happened recently. He cried until he had no tears left. He felt Sy's arms around him as well, helping comfort him. When the tears finally stopped and his heart rate came back down he felt completely drained. They must have been standing there for quite awhile because his legs were aching and going numb. 
The three of them headed back to the house. Mike was so drained he went to lay down for a nap before dinner. Debbie headed to the kitchen and grabbed her pain pills tossing a couple in her mouth then going to the fridge to get some water to rinse them down before bending down to try and grab an ice pack from the freezer. Sy's big hand reached in front of her and got the pack.
“What did the doctor say?”
She told him everything as they went to set on the sofa. It didn't take long between the exhaustion and the meds that she fell into a fitful sleep.
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sakuralovespossums · 2 days
Text
Nanami Kento x Painter Reader
This is my first request work! I’m so exited!!✨
If there were two things you and your husband shared in common, it was your appreciation for wine and art. That was actually how you two bonded back during your student years at Jujutsu Tech.
Nanami, who was at that time a first year, caught you sneaking in some blueberry wine one night while you were heading to your room. Knowing what a stickler to the rules he could be, you were a bit nervous and hoped he wouldn’t snitch on you to the teachers. Thankfully he simply raised an eyebrow.
*sigh~* “Don’t worry, I won’t tell. Do you………mind if I have some?”
It was a rather rough week for him filled with tears and missions. He needed some sort of escape from all the stress that’s been weighing on him. You gave him a small smile and let him follow you back to your room. He was amazed by all your painting canvases that lined across your room, learning about your passion for art and how you enjoyed partaking in it during your free time. As you both sipped on your wine, he let you give him a tour of each canvas, listening to you describe your techniques and inspirations in vivid detail. He didn’t know if his memorization for your art and creativity was from his growing feelings for you or the alcohol. The rest of the night was spent between you two shyly getting to better know each other while enjoying your blueberry wine. You were vividly tipsier than him, though he also gained a pinker but to his cheeks. Since then, Nanami gained an interest in art himself and nervously asked one day if you could perhaps teach him how to paint, to which you happily accepted.
Now you were both adults, with you and your lover growing to become a powerful pair of grade 1 sorcerers, gaining the title of Tokyo’s most formidable grade 1 couple (much to Nanami’s embarrassment and your amusement).
Whenever he felt exhausted by the burden of Jujutsu or the comrades he had lost during his line of work, he would always paint whatever took up his mind, letting it all pour out in the form of paint that he maneuvered with his brush. It was something that greatly helped him in his student years deal with the loss of his friend, Haibara. He was a natural at it after having been taught under you all those years, yet he still thinks you were the better painter. Usually, you would sit between his legs on the chair while he painted while you two peacefully talked about each others’ days and other trivial matters. The art studio on the upper floor of your apartment was filled with only the soft exchange of words and affection between you two, accompanied by the small brush strokes. Whenever you’d paint, Nanami would sometimes help you when you were struggling by offering advice and ideas of inspiration in that deep, corse voice of his that never failed to ignite that blossom of warmth within you. The way his large warm hand, calloused by years of handling his clothed sword, engulfed over your smaller one as he gently guided your strokes, the same way you would do for him all those years ago.
Tonight was a rather rainy night. The sound of the rain water tapping the windows surrounded you and your husband as you sat between his legs and watched him work on his latest painting. It was a canvas of a tropical Malaysian beach, a place he dreamed of going to someday with you after retiring.
“Why Malaysia?” You asked while sipping your champagne.
He pauses his painting. A few seconds of silence pass.
“I’m not sure. I remember reading a travel magazine on it and thought it looked nice.”
He wraps a strong arm around your torso.
“Maybe we could build a small house nearby. Next to some other locals.”
You hum in reply while wrapping an arm around his.
“We could grow a garden in the backyard.” You suggested. “One that’s bigger than our current one.”
“I’d hardly call that a garden, my love.” He replied, referring to the row of potted flowers lined across the small patio.
“Hey! I worked hard on that garden, thank you very much!”
“I know my sweet” he assured with a gentle kiss to your head. “And it’s very beautiful, just like you.”
You hummed contentedly as you snuggled further into him. You watched as he applied more yellow to the sunset landscape, growing immersed into its glowing brightness as his patterned strokes hypnotized you. You loved watching his hand as he painted.
Nanami’s hands could do many things. They could be brutal, easily crushing or punching through whatever enemy or obstacle he faced. They could also be gentle and caring, tending to you in all ways from the basic necessities to the more physical needs. And they could create, such as now.
After being together for years now, you still couldn’t help but wonder what you did to deserve such a perfect husband. You knew this happiness wouldn’t last forever, as both your duties as sorcerers put your lives on the line everyday. This might be the last night you spend together in such peace, painting and drinking the night away. So you and Nanami made sure to treasure every brush stroke and sip, for it was your way of expressing the love you shared between each other. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“You have a smudge right there.”
“Yes, because you won’t stop fidgeting in my lap. I think the champagne is finally getting to you.”
“I’ve only had a few sips so far.”
“You said that an hour ago.”
(Fun Fact: Nanami has the second highest alcohol tolerance out of all the other teachers, falling only behind Shoko lmao)
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thelreads · 3 days
Note
I've been taking notes on the spypocalypse so I can keep my thoughts in order and actually I ended up noticing something:
First, a lot of other slice of life sitcoms don't have character development because they need to keep the characters the same for the format. But as a result the characters can end up feeling stale because they don't develop and thus the creators fall back constantly on the same jokes. But what I like about spy x family is that the characters are slowly growing, even if that means sacrificing the jokes. Like, Endo is letting Anya slowly get better at studying and Yor slowly get better at cooking, so even though we still have jokes about how Anya is not the best at school or that Loid is a better cook than Yor, we also get to move past it so the jokes don't become old.
Second, in other manga that have serious and funny moments, I find that there isn't often a lot of crossover, character-development wise. Like, in SxF, Fiona running off to the mountains to train in tennis is a gag... And then it saves her life during the mole arc. Likewise, there's gags about Yuri being indestructible because of Yor, and then during the Yuri v. Twilight showdown he is actually really able to keep getting up.
So that probably means that the next time Twilight and Yuri go up against each other, we'll see a return of Yor-fu.
And last thing: even though there haven't been a lot of chapters that let us see it, I think Yor is definitely getting a lot more feelings for Loid. When she first moved in, Yor didn't even know if she and Loid would be sleeping in the same room. She was a bit bashful around him, but it was really only when she was super drunk that she went tomato-face mode (when Yuri told her to kiss Loid, when Loid tried to honey trap her, and then later the welcome home kiss). However, when they went to the murder ski lodge, even though she was completely sober and Anya and Bond were *right there*, she went super blushing flustered mode at the idea of sleeping in the same room as Loid. Ah, yeah, it's all coming together.
Ok for real last thing: also I think the reason why Sigmund's tutoring worked better than Yuri or Loid's is because those two focus on one thing and get through it. They're both determinators who have no problem with snapping into focus on one thing at a time. Meanwhile Anya's mind has a tendency to wander. However, look at how Sigmund deals with it: when Anya turns Yuri's "whole enchilada" into the "swole Chihuahua", Yuri tells her to forget it and go back to focusing on the grammar. But when Anya takes Sigmund's "eureka" and turns it into "eucalyptus", Sigmund encourages her ("oh, you know so much about koalas! You'll ace your biology test!" And she may not have gotten a Stella star for it, but given that her only bolt was from math, she at least passed her bio quiz). Sigmund works with her wandering train of thought while gently pushing her back to the task at hand. Anya is a force of nature who conquers all in her way; Twilight and Yuri don't stand a chance trying to fight against her head on, but Grandpa Siggy knows how to work with the Lord of Storms.
Grandpa's are great, I'm gonna be so sad when it turns out Sigmund is a founding member of the Apple Project.
Oh, I like that slow development. It's so subtle and gradual you don't really notice it until something major happens and it all clicks together.
Yor is definitely getting more feelings. Yeah, she was not as embarrassed at first because she didn't really liked Twilight the way she does now. He was a handsome man and she was bashful, but now that she does like him like that, now that she's getting aware of her own feelings, oh now the fun begins...
And Sigmund there was definitely the right choice to teach Anya, and he does manage to get in her head because he has a lot of experience on the subject, he was a teacher for years, he understands the human brain because of his work as a researcher. Also because he knows how to handle test subjects from project apple after all.
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marydiva-17 · 1 day
Text
My treasures
zuko,azula and mom reader
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The duty you had for the fire nation and your royal in laws, so to keep the family strong and also have children who are fire benders like their father. Those duties had been fulfilled when you had zuko and azula two gifted fire benders, that you love so much and care deeply for as well. Azula and zuko had both become your prizes treasures in your life within in the palace, as you had given up your old life to welcome a new life that had been made. The kids love and care for you as you love and care for them as well.
y/n " ........" you are sitting in the garden and looking at fountain, and you thought it was going to be a peaceful day. As the kids seem to be busy with some other matters and you had not been given, any royal duties to deal with today.
????? " mom" you had soon heard the voice of your kids as you soon got up, and turned towards them.
y/n " hello my children now tell me what has gotten you in such an energetic mood"
azula " well mom I was show Zuzu that I can out race him to you and I won"
zuko " stop calling me that azula"
azula " never and you can't make me dumb dumb"
zuko " azula"
y/n " no fight with each other you both know that"
zuko and azula " yes mom"
y/n “ now tell me how your lessons went”
zuko “ the lessons went well today mom and you can ask the teachers”
y/n “ I will young man”
azula “ we also practice our fire bending as well, our mentors are saying we are doing great … well they said that about me not Zuzu”
zuko “ azula”
y/n “ be nice Azula your brother is getting there”
azula “ yes mom hey mom you can fire bender as well “
y/n “ yes but my fire bender is not for fighting that much, more like performance and other stuff as well” the kids looked amazed at you as you had stated fire bender and made a bride of fire soon having it fly around.
azula " wow mom that amazing"
y/n " thank you"
zuko " did you use to do fire bender before you married father"
????? " oh so your mother is showing you two her fire bending is she" the trio had soon looked and saw ozai coming their way.
zuko and azula " hello father"
y/n " hello my husband"
ozia " hello my wife and children I heard you all talking, and came to see what was the matter"
azula " mom was telling us the fire bending she can do"
ozai " oh I can see that your mother using her skills in beautiful way, that is something I learned about her and that I love"
zuko " wow that amazing"
y/n " it seems like we are blessed with very gifted benders my husband, in no time our kids will be doing well with the element of fire"
ozai " yes they will be doing well and in time they will be helping the nation, gain more power and land"
y/n " yes you are right my dear" you still didn't like the idea of your kids become benders that will use their skills, for evil and you knew that ozai will make them follow his family path in life.
azula " mother"
y/n " yes my dear"
azula " i was wondering if you can show us some of your skills"
y/n " sure I will love to my daughter"
ozai " yes that sounds like a good idea you two will need to know, all the skins to be the best fire benders like all the rest that came before you two"
the kids " yes dad"
ozai " good"
ozai " children I will love to have some words with your mother alone"
zuko and azula " yes father" the kids soon bowed before they walked away. You are soon left alone in the royal gardens with you husband he soon looked at you.
ozai " I will allow you to teach them fire bending that you learned while, growing up but I don't wish for the kids to learn anything else from your past"
y/n " I know my husband I know"
ozai " good you have been a good wife and mother stay by my side and with the royal after all these years"
y/n " thank you my love and you have been a good husband and father as well"
ozai " I know you long for your past but those times and life is over, you are lady of the nation no longer that village young lady I meet many years ago"
y/n " yes I know ozai but I can still think about my past"
ozai " yes you can but sometime it the best if you give up the past, for everyone sake"
'y/n " yes my husband"
ozai " here you can tell those stoires and anything else to the children's if they makes you happy, but I wish for them to not have that much of connection"
y/n " thank you this make me happy"
ozai " sure I will leave you here now I have a meeting with my father" you had nodded your head as ozai kissed your hand before he soon walked off, you were now once again left alone with your thoughts. Sitting on the stone beach and thinking about the past and present, there was also worry about what the future will hold as well.
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flymmsy · 2 days
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buddy don't hide it in the tags, tell us more abt your gortash/rugan crackship
*cracks knuckles* okay here we go
Gortash/Rugan Crack Ship Theory
I'm not saying these two were ever lovers, but I do think their timelines line up in a very interesting way that puts them in the vicinity of each other.
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Let's start with Rugan.
Quick shoutout first of all to @my-favourite-zhent for posting so many of the datamined lines that I'll mention here. You can also find all of Rugan's lines in this video.
Rugan is in his fifties, as mentioned in the devnotes. Putting him at 52, we can approximate he was born around 1440 DR. ㅤ
We know from the game that he recruited Zarys, so I get the impression that he's been with the Zhentarim for quite a while. In datamined content, he specifically says he's been "Black Network for as long as [he] can remember." ㅤ
Rugan either is a Banite or at least has allegiance to Bane via Bane's affiliation with the Zhentarim. The Zhentarim was founded as a Bane-affiliated organization and has intermittently switched back and forth between Cyric and Bane depending on which time period we're looking at. It is currently, however, lead by The Pereghost who is a follower of Cyric. The switching back and forth between Cyric and Bane has left a lot of followers of both gods within the Zhentarim, and has also led the Zhentarim to really tamp down their religious affiliation over time. BUT, it is really interesting that during a time when it would technically make sense for him to be either unaffiliated or more of a Cyricist, Rugan specifically swears by The Black Hand.
Pivoting to Gortash
There are still a lot of questions about Gortash's timeline. However, The True Life of 'Lord' Gortash gives us some idea. We have no clue how correct or reliable Vance Farnol was, but considering that he died in prison, he was probably on the right track. Interestingly, Vance's outline makes no mention of Gortash's time in the Hells, so we do know it is not 100% reliable - but can be a general reference. ㅤ
After he escaped the Hells, we know Gortash became an Arms Dealer. We also know that over time, Gortash edged out the Zhentarim from their territory, so there was definitely some interaction between Gortash and the Zhentarim. ㅤ
People also disagree on Gortash's age, and that will change some interpretations of this theory. That's fine, but for my purposes, I place him solidly mid-40s. I think this is the age that makes the most sense when you consider his time in the hells, and how long it would have taken him to not only build an arms dealing network that could rival long-established groups, but then to ALSO add in the years to mix in with the patriars. Let's say roughly that he's 45, birth year of 1447 DR, approximately a 7 year age difference between him and Rugan. ㅤ
I personally navigate Gortash's timeline by using approximate markers. ~9-10 years old when sold to the Hells, ~19-20 years old when he escaped the Hells. Then a long period of time that is unmarked and unclear on the order of events, but we know by 1482 DR (when he sold Karlach) he was at the height of his Arms Dealer operation and about to pivot into politics. So from ages 20 - 35, his history is murky, which allows us room to play. ㅤ
We also get nothing on how Gortash became involved with Bane. All we know is that he 'reestablished worship of Bane in Baldur's Gate' and from there we know more about him becoming Bane's Chosen. But how did it all start?
THE INTERSECT
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Looking at Gortash's timeline, I think that an extremely likely introduction to Bane for him was through the Zhentarim. This is where I start to work off theory alone, but there's certainly enough in game for this to not be a WILD jump. ‎ㅤ
Post-Hells, Gortash pretty immediately got involved in gang activity (or was involved and returned to it, depending on your interpretation of his timeline) and rose from there. ㅤ
Meaning that Gortash and Rugan were in similar circles for a good chunk of time (Gortash approx. 20-35 y/o and Rugan approx. 27-42 y/o).
MY DELULU
I dont think its out of the realm of possibility for a young, charming, ambitious Enver Gortash to be involved with the Zhentarim in some way and have a thing for rugged, handsome, older Rugan - who could show him a thing or two. This is where everyone's own freedom comes into play with this ship, but I'm just laying the foundation to show that it is actually possible for this to have been a thing.
In my head, it was kind of an ongoing fling - maybe for a few of Enver's younger years. Rugan as the liaison for the Zhentarim, Enver meeting up with him - late nights in the tavern where Enver could pry some interesting Zhentarim backstory from Rugan before having some quick fun together. Enver learns of Bane through exchanging with the Zhentarim, and the rest is history.
SUPER TURBO DELULU
One last really interesting thing I want to mention - a lot was cut out of the game with the Zhentarim. You were supposed to originally find Rugan in Act 3 again, where you would learn that his associates were framed as part of the internal politics the Zhentarim (there are still bits of it we see through Roah Moonglow - she specifically has a note about taking out Rugan as part of her coup.) His caravan was interestingly turned over to the Steel Watch, where Rugan talked his way out by becoming an informant (this is all from the same datamined voicelines) and the rest were hanged.
Sure, maybe it was the information that saved Rugan. Or maybe the man behind the Steel Watch went easy on an old flame.
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fairycosmos · 2 days
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I'm sorry to do this bc I know you get so many ppl venting and you have your own shit to deal with and yet ppl on here constantly implicitly ask you to console them which is incredibly emotionally labour intensive. However all that being said. I found out my cat who is 9 but is very young looking and active and shows no sign of pain or suffering has large cell lymphoma (general prognosis 6-9 months) and I'm literally broken. She's my best friend. I've been through years where I've had no friends but I've always had her and she's everything to me and I've known a lot of cats who live to late teens so I had expected that for her and this has come out of nowhere and is just so soul destroying because she is my whole world and I love her so so much. she's literally saved my life (have been at the point of kms so many times but didn't for her) and now she probably wont be here next year and I don't know how to keep existing without her and I didn't know who else to tell. I really appreciate your kind and honest presence on this site it's very cleansing and healing and ik this is a parasocial thing to say/feel but you are like a friend to so many. so thanks. even just having a space to say this stuff is invaluable. You have helped and comforted and offered love and insight to so many people despite your own suffering. Much love to you, I hope the universe treats you with lots of kindness going forward.
i am so so sorry to hear this - sometimes i honestly can't believe how cruel life can be. i wish there was something tangible i could say that would make a change to what you're feeling but my experience with grief (all types of grief esp preemptive grief like what you're dealing with) has proven to me that words often ring hollow when you're going through it. i do want to offer some understanding and some comfort despite that, i just know it may be hard for you to register right now and that's alright. losing a pet is so so deeply painful and it's completely normal to be devastated and taken aback by this news - anyone would be. at the same time it sounds like your cat is deeply lucky to have you and to be loved so completely by someone. while what you're both going through is horrific, i am so glad she has you to take care of her and that she ended up having a wonderful life with you - the gift you have given her and continue to give her every day just by being her owner is huge and i hope you continue to remind yourself that as you confront there next few months. she is warm and fed and taken care of and she has the best chance of living longer with her condition bc of the care and love you continue to show her. i know this is much much easier said than done but please try to take it one day at a time and make every moment count with her - it's easy to get lost in the idea of losing her but she is still here and you still have time together, albeit not as much time as you both deserve. i can't stand how much of a gamble of luck everything seems to be and how horrible things happen to ppl and animals who truly deserve so much more - that anger, despair and incredulity still hits me day after day and i feel it very hard on your behalf rn. you have every right in the world to process that sense of feeling like your soul has been destroyed on whatever timeline works for you. as long as you continue to move forward, hour to hour or minute to minute despite it all.
are you able to talk to any friends/family about this? i only ask bc pet loss is one of the hardest things in the world to go through and i think having some sort of super system could make the days feel a little more manageable. if not, please feel free to message me and share updates, stories, vents etc about your cat and how you're doing - i lost my childhood dog a few yrs back and i do understand. it's such a heavy feeling to carry around with you all the time. i would also recommend joining a pet loss support group as another option too, bc so so many people sadly completely get what youre going through. i hope your little girl is doing OK today and that you are taking care of yourself as much as you feel able to as you process this news. if you need to break down, go to sleep, scream, punch pillows, be numb - that's alright. there's no wrong way to react to this. i just hope you give yourself some grace as you do. sending so so much love to you both - and thank you so much for the insanely kind words by the way. you didn't have to say that and it really made my night better that you did. so sorry you're in this position. X
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ideas-4-stories · 2 days
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Cross Guild Romance prompt: The three of them are together but they had hit the mother of all rough patches. Nothing major even happened between them to make they mad as each other, things are just not working right now, every little thing from each other sets them off. It's Mihawk's being too closed off, it's Crocodile being more of a jerk than usual, it's Buggy throwing tantrums over the smallest thing. They are on the verge of shattering when their crew intervenes, suggesting several different ways to get back to good including each of them taking some time apart for a week or so, like Crocodile go off to one island for a business deal while Mihawk and Buggy spend time together, then Mihawk go check on Kuraigana and Buggy and Crocodile clear the air between them a little, and the Buggy himself can head to another island to pick up new circus supplies while Mihawk and Crocodile learn to be in the same room together again. Once the trips are done, the hard part comes in actually sitting down together and talking to each other, and it's surprisingly Daz, who rarely says anything who acts as their mediator. It's through this kind of talk therapy that they get to the bottom of why things got so back between them. Mihawk is closed off because he's afraid of being betrayed again like he was all those years ago, which led him to becoming the Marine Hunter, Crocodile is acting like a mean jerk because he is basically self-sabotaging himself, feeling like he doesn't deserve Mihawk and Crocodile, and Buggy constantly angry because he feels like he'll lose the men he loves so dearly if he's not a perfect Chairman, and his inferiority complex is running wild because he can't believe men like Mihawk and Crocodile could actually love him. It all culminates in the three of them going to a nearby island together for a sort of vacation but still staying close enough to guard their home. They finally work things out, understand that theirs is a genuine love built to last, and that they are worthy of each other.
They are all too stubborn for their own good, like really too stubborn for their own good. It makes sense for them that it’s petty little things that nearly broke them up, I don’t know why but it does. Thank the gods for Das being the mediator, I really hope Daz gets a raise for this shit he has to do for his boss. Also thank the gods for the crew deciding enough is enough and helps the poor dumbasses to save their relationship. I wonder how many of the guild is in on calming their leaders down, I like to think it’s most or all.
Having one taking a break while the other two are dealing with each other is a brilliant idea!!! Because if all of them take a break, something bad might happen. So, if they are separated from each other, it would still be on Karai Bari Island, without talking to each other. So, I really like the idea with only one of them leaving and doing something outside of the island, makes sure that the island is safe from Marines or other enemy attack.
Basically, their problems are themselves, as well as the feeling of betrayal and/or losing others. It must have been a relief to sit down and talk about what’s going on. Love how they go on a vacation yet still is ready to protect their home. I really like this fic idea.
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Hi✨ I would like to ask your opinion on something. My dom and I have been together for year and a half, most of our relationship has been online cuz we are from different cities and he has been dealing with a family situation. The thing is sex and sex play is on and off depending on everything going on in his life and I'm pretty okay with that but I have picked a pattern of his and I don't think I like it.
I have seen that we have seasons, seasons we play hard and seasons we play less. When we play hard sometimes we do it for weeks or even months but then he suggest something that for me is a hard no, at least while we're apart (is always the same thing) and I always suggest that we can try it in the future and that I'm not completely close to that, just that while we're apart I don't feel completely confortable. When he says that normally he suggests it 2 o 3 times more in very subtle way during the course of the week until I stop to explote. Then he says he's never going to suggest it again and then the sex decreases until even if I ask for permission to touch myself he doesn't really care so I stop asking for permission at all. And the the cycle starts again.
Yesterday was the day that I exploited cuz the particular punishment he suggested and even more for the lack of attention he was giving. Today I tried to have a very mature conversation about everything, we even completed an excel about kink compatibility. I said my part, he said his and for me I only said that I needed him to know me better to break me to the point were it was still safe for both of us, that I needed trust, confidence and devotion from his side so I could be fully submissive. He said he understood, that he will not suggest that again NEVER (so the cycle is complete) and that he didn't like that I was telling him what and what not to do, and that he also didn't like that we had to plan everything.
I don't know, I don't want to get through the cycle again, I'm just confused and really don't know what to do.
FYI in the compatability test he has way more "hard no" than me, even in things I would really love to try but even with that, I would never push him.
So this time I don't know that to do, I don't know if I should encourage more difficult conversations and try to solve this and wait for him to return home for good. He's going to return in one month (his family situation is finally solved). Or just give up all together. I know I'm no perfect and he's not perfect either but he always tries his best, he does research for me to feel more confortable, he always cares for me and he's always super respectful and in full control of himself. He always is, apart from this particular kink. So I really don't know what to do.
Any suggestions? I know this is way too much to ask
If you haven’t given him an opportunity to see and consider the pattern you’ve uncovered, then I feel like you should go the “difficult conversations” route. I mean, there are many signs of incompatibility here, so I’m not confident that talking is going to fix anything… but you’ll feel better about the decision to give up if you’ve ticked all the communicative boxes.
With that said:
I don’t want to project my personality and approach on to your guy, which just isn’t fair to either of you. But I’ve gotta say, this whole “I wanna do X… oh. No? How about now…? Really? I’ll bet you couldn’t do it correctly anyway, but… wow, thought that would work. What if I wear a funny hat while we— still no, huh? Okay then, behold as I selflessly and permanently abandon this thoroughly rejected idea until the next time I’m horny” thing is some real Little League nonsense, and both of you should expect more of him.
Let’s put aside the badgering and coercive vibes that everyone else on Tumblr will point out. Instead, I want to know where his goddamned pride has gone, and why both of you are okay with it disappearing.
Why the fuck is he repeatedly trying to pressure you into anything? He is —in theory— the leader of this two-person expedition, and leaders don’t nag or pout. Instead of wasting time trying to pester you into compliance, he could be showing you why he deserves to hear you beg for it.
It’s not your job to be the kind of girl who always agrees; it’s his job to be the kind of man you’d never refuse.
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phoenixcatch7 · 10 months
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Man I am just SO CONFUSED. About the time line of this game.
No one is telling me how long links been gone! Or how long the botw-totk timeskip was! They all just started selling my stuff again lol. I'm going to have to get everything redyed!
Me: hey random stranger! Lore dump? You look like a lore dumper.
Kindly npc: why hullo there, link ^^! My, I haven't seen you in a while since the calamity ended! I was so worried when they said you and the princess had gone missing! But it's good to see you're well.
Me: aw, thanks. How long has it actually been tho.
Kindly npc: ^u^
#Having a great time btw I've just been chased across a near sea of miasma by stal riders and more! 10/10 nearly died in a high speed chase#Made it out relatively unscathed which is truly amazing lmao#Spoilers ahead: I have had the funniest time doing the great plateau quest chain. Once I sucked it up and made nice with the creepy statue.#He's(?) been alright. Fair trader. Good deals. I've mostly been terrorising kohga in between absolutely failing to craft working vehicles X#His new boss fights are so much easier than the first one lol. Less fun I'll admit but the music is groovy. You can probably make a#Machine and try and dog fight him but with few exceptions the turning circles are decrepit so I just stuck to mild dodging and shooting him#And running over to hit him some more. Kinda bland for a boss fight I'll say. Could have done with a lot more pizazz. It's kohga come on.#Anyway I do feel kinda bad because apparently he's been stuck down there for however many months/years and I AM kinda cheating with the arm#After the first fight he fled to the gerudo mine and the steward very nicely showed me how to get there but never underestimate#My procrastination because I'd already found it by just exploring so I just teleported. In game it must have been terrifying lmao#Racing across an endless void filled only by the light of your rapidly running out of battery glider and the red glow of the gloom away fro#The apparently immortal ancient warrior who beat you up and tossed you down there and there's no sign of perusal so you're probably safe#But you get there and he's already sitting there poking some bananas having wiped out your goons and plundered your supplies.#Like sorry man but the arm comes with the hero territory I can't exactly take it off.#Maybe if you stopped terrorising the people purah would let you have one of her long distance teleportation slates. It comes with photos?#It can't have been long since botw link hasn't grown an inch XD. Also I've been turning the lore timeline over in my head and still no idea#Are we not sure Rauru isn't from some alternate timeline that got fused with the main loz timeline by accident??#loz#legend of zelda#totk#loz totk#tears of the kingdom#loz tears of the kingdom#totk spoilers
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genericdragon · 4 days
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😃 shitty vent in the tags don't look
#ok so idk if y'all have heard about the revo ost album art contest#nobody seems to realize how important this is for me.#I don't exactly have a long history of being Good at Art (see my last post I made)#but these past couple years people have been telling me that my art is good. great even!#idk if I fully believe them. they haven't seen where I've come from. they don't know how far I have to go.#or how far behind I am from where I could be. if I had just done better when I was younger.#but anyway. ppl have been telling me I'm good at art but I don't really have anything to show for it :)#so this is my chance to prove myself. this is my chance to finally put my skills to the test. to see if I really am as good as people say#you have no. NO fucking idea how seriously I'm taking this. I've already spent over 14 hours on this art and it isn’t even halfway done#I am putting literally everything I have into this. 100% effort. I want to make this the best it can possibly be.#but that doesn't really matter does it? only the results. I can't just go 'pwease I worked really hard on this let me win 🥺'#and if I work so hard to make the best thing I possibly can and I still fail what does that mean for me?#and people tell me 'nooooo it's just one little contest it doesn't define the worth of your art'#first of all. yes. it literally does. that's. the entire point of a contest#second it's not just about winning it's about proving myself it's about putting myself to the test#I've been waiting for something like this for so long. it's not just a contest to me.#this is sort of my ultimatum I guess#if I win then that means it really is true what they say. my art is worth something. I've made something meaningful. I've done it.#I can finally start to believe that maybe I am actually good at art. it won't happen overnight since I've spent so long believing otherwise#but now I have actual genuine solid proof to believe that it is true rather than just people being nice#and if I lose.... then that's it.#I've failed. I've made the best thing I possibly could with my current abilities and it still wasn't good enough.#you can't tell me that's not completely humiliating#and after that why should I believe anyone who tells me my art is good#when it's been demonstrably proven otherwise?#how could I just go 'Oh well. I can do better next time! :)'#you do not. you do not fucking understand how big a deal this is for me. i can't just move on from that#I know I can't just quit art bc I've built so much of my life around it at this point (and I have genuinely tried to quit for good#but it'll take a looooooooong long long long time before I'm confident enough to try something like this again. if ever#losing a contest at 15 is one thing. but losing a contest at 22 after years and years of practice? thinking that I've improved?
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