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#it's been a long time since i laughed that much in one night
wosounited · 3 days
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Hey,
I like when reader is hiding relationship with Leah from her sister. And it gets really angsty but in the end they work it out.
Maybe you could write something like that
You Weren’t Meant to be Home (Leah Williamson x Walsh!Reader)
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Leah had a reputation, one that she was proud of and done hard to maintain. Since her last relationship had crashed and burned, she’d been doing anything and everything to not get attached and tied down to someone again. The dynamics were working for her. She lived alone and didn’t have to answer to anyone about the amount of girls that had slipped in and out of her sheets on a weekly basis.
Since her ACL injury, she’d been partying a lot more, to get over the pain of missing the Champions League and more importantly, the World Cup. Usually, it would be with her best mate Alex at a boojie event that Alex had brought her as a plus one. Her partying antics followed her all the way to Australia at the World Cup, when she’d eventually flown over.
You’d been there all Summer, travelling around the country but getting back in time to watch your sister play. You weren’t a big football fan, but your sister playing in a World Cup was more than enough of an excuse to travel to Australia. It was all you and your best friend, Amy, had dreamed of for years, so this was your chance. Amy also wasn’t an overly big football fan, much to the annoyance of your older sister.
“So, you guys haven’t lost yet?” Amy asked Keira and Georgia, while the four of you were on a walk, soaking up the sun while they had some downtime.
“Do you not understand how the World Cup works?” Keira frowned.
“We do” you giggled, shushing Amy’s laughter down. “We totally get it, it’s just we’re a bit preoccupied doing Australian things” you shrugged.
“Australian girls?” Georgia laughed as Keira punched her into the arm.
“That’s my sister!” Keira snapped.
“It’s not me doing your sister” Georgia protested, holding her hands up in surrender.
“God, can we please change the conversation?” you groaned at the current topic of conversation with your sister being your sex life.
You continued on your walk, back towards the team hotel to drop Keira and Georgia off. Amy and Keira were just ahead, laughing about a story Amy was telling her from someone back at home she had recently had a brief fling with.
“Has there been many?” Georgia smirked, wriggling her eyebrows at you, as you rolled your eyes. “Come on, I won’t tell Kei”
“Maybe four or five?” You guessed, not fully remembering the exact number of girls you’d been with since you got here.
“This is why I always said I felt like we were destined to be friends, instead of me and Kei” Georgia laughed, wrapping her arm around your shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah G” you squeezed her arm. “Leah’s coming soon, isn’t she? You both excited to see her?” You smiled as Georgia nodded frantically.
You didn’t really know Leah that well. She was your sister’s best friend, but she wasn’t as friendly or approachable as Georgia was. You knew Georgia a lot better due to her and Keira playing together in Manchester for a long time. The only thing you knew about Leah from all the times you’d met her or went out with her was, she was stone cold to you. She’d barely even acknowledge you were in the room as her.
You hugged the two of them goodbye when you got to the team hotel and headed off back to your own, to get ready for the shenanigans you and Amy were set to get up to tonight.
You’d seen pretty much everywhere you wanted to at this stage in Australia, making memories to last a life time. You were staying in Sydney for the remainder of the trip, and were on your best behaviour due to being in the same place as your parents.
“Please” Amy begged when you said you weren’t going out tonight.
“My head hasn’t even recovered fully from last night” you groaned. You found it funny your sister was here to be an elite athlete, playing in the biggest tournament possible. While you were here to see how drunk you could get. You were both achieving great things in your field.
“The best way to get over a hangover is to drink more” Amy shouted, throwing nice clothes at you from your wardrobe. You eventually agreed and headed out to a nightclub that had been heavily recommended by some Australians that were staying in your hotel. The same group that were currently in the night club beckoning the two of you over to join them on the dance floor.
Amy was off to the side of the group with one of the boys, while you were happily drunk dancing with the remainder of the group. You’d excused yourself to grab a drink for you and another girl, before quickly rejoining them. You’d been dancing with this girl all night really, presuming things were getting a bit flirty. She’d just turned off to start talking to a guy that approached her as you internally groaned, and took a bit sip of your drink.
“You look so good tonight, baby” another guy in the group mumbled as his hands met your waist and he pulled you towards him.
“You’re alright, thank you” you shook your head as you tried to pierce his hands off you. “Can you let go, please?” You asked.
“Come on, do you not want a bit of fun?” He smirked.
“I’m not into guys” you squeezed his hand to try and get him off, but he was persistent.
“I could change that” he grinned, pulling you against him impossibly closer. It was there and then that your heart sunk. You were defenceless and nobody from the group seemed to be watching.
“Y/n?” You heard an angel like voice shout, as you looked up to see Leah. She mightn’t have known you overly well, but it was evident you didn’t want whatever he was trying. “You alright babe?” Leah asked, putting her hand out, which you took without flinching or hesitating for even a split second.
“No” you shook your head.
“Mate, let fucking go” Leah grunted as he freed his grip slightly. Leah found it to be her obligation right now to keep you safe as Keira’s best friend, and was willing to do anything possible to protect you. “That’s my girlfriend” she shouted as he fully let go and pushed you away from him.
“Sorry mate, didn’t know she was with you” he put his hands up apologetically, apologising to Leah more so than you.
“Thank you” you whispered as she pulled you against her by your waist, still playing the part. You didn’t really care that she had her hands on you, even if it was a similar grip than what he had.
“You alright? Are you here with someone?” She asked.
“Amy” you pointed at your friend, still with the nicer boy in the group. “I really appreciate that, girlfriend” you smirked as she reciprocated your facial expression.
“Why don’t you kiss me? Make it more believable?” Leah winked with a cheeky laugh.
“Come on Captain Williamson, I’ll get you a drink” you smiled, pulling her by the hand towards the bar. “Who are you here with?” You asked.
“Alex, Jill, you know” she pointed over to the group of ex footballers that were also at the nightclub. Although, the section they were in looked a lot more exclusive.
“I’ll leave you to it, thanks again” you smiled, turning hesitantly to walk back towards the group you’d been dancing with.
“Don’t be stupid” Leah shouted, grabbing your wrist. “I don’t want you going back over anywhere near him” she frowned. “Stay with me” she whispered softly as you nodded at her, and let her guide you towards her friends, now interlocking your fingers and pulling you gently towards them.
You knew most of the girls and they at least knew of you from Keira. They were all really friendly, and made sure to keep good drinks and vibes going throughout the night. Around 1am, when Amy had finally removed herself from the Australian boy she had been literally clung to all night, she skipped over to let you know she was leaving with him.
“Give me your phone” you clicked your fingers at her as she willingly handed it over without hesitation. You made sure every app that you could see her location was turned on before handing it back to her.
“Have fun” you smirked as she kissed your cheek with a giggle.
“I’ll make sure she gets home alright” Leah inputted, sliding up beside you on the couch you were sitting on, placing a protective hand on your knee.
“Oh thank you, almighty Leah Williamson” Amy teased, making a bowing motion before she left with the boy.
“Do you wanna dance?” Leah whispered in your ear.
“Yeah” you smiled as you both got up and headed to the dancefloor.
Leah was getting a bit touchy but you didn’t really care, because you were too. You were also both incredibly drunk, which probably wasn’t helping.
“I wasn’t joking before, you should kiss me” Leah slurred, beyond the point of drunk now to be embarrassed of what she was saying.
“I thought you hated me” you laughed as she frowned and shook her head. “What would we tell Keira?” You asked as her eyes fell to your lips.
“Nothing” she mumbled before she leaned in and kissed you. You kissed her back instantly, immediately switching the intensity of the kiss. It was a bad idea, such a bad idea. But her lips felt so good against yours, and you just couldn’t help it. “Did Amy take your hotel room then?” Leah asked as you shook your head. You had two bedrooms in the apartment anyway, incase of moments like these.
“Do you want to come back?” You asked as she nodded at you, eagerly, before kissing you again.
It was a few minutes after when you’d broken apart and she gestured you towards the door, while she headed in the opposite direction to get both of your stuff from the seats.
“I’m going to walk y/n back to her hotel” Leah shouted over the music at Alex.
“In other words, you’re going to fuck your best mates sister?” Alex laughed. “I saw you two” she added. Thankfully, nobody else had.
“You’re my best mate” Leah tried talking herself out of it.
“Leah” Alex raised her eyebrows, not falling for Leah’s bullshit.
“What? That’s not Keira’s sister, that’s her twin” Leah smirked, thinking she’d talked herself out of it this time.
“Okay? That would still make that girl Keira’s sister” Alex chuckled as Leah rolled her eyes. “You’re sure you know what you’re doing? You’re not going to wake up tomorrow and feel bad?” Alex asked as Leah looked back at you, standing waiting for her by the door.
“I’m sure” she nodded as Alex patted her shoulder.
It was different with her on the walk back, it was comfortable, almost like it was a regular occurrence. But when you got back to your hotel room, you continued where you left off at the nightclub.
Leah was by far the best you’d ever had. It wasn’t even close. But the guilt that ripped through you when you came to your senses, made you realise it wasn’t worth it. Well, you tried to make yourself believe it wasn’t worth it.
“Keira can never, ever know” you hummed and shook your head, while the blonde nodded in agreement. A similar guilty expression was evident on her face too now that she’d sobered up.
“You know, I’ve actually really liked you for a long time” Leah was a straight forward person, and was used to getting what she wanted.
“You need to work on your flirting skills then, because I always presumed you hated me” you shrugged, thinking it was just a line she was using.
“Well, I knew you’d never want to be with me because of Keira” Leah mumbled, and you knew by her expression she was being sincere.
“Well, you thought wrong” you shrugged. “I don’t want you to go tonight” you whispered as she smiled back at you.
“Then I won’t go” she said, shuffling back towards you in the bed. She pulled you in against her as you both drifted off really quickly.
When you woke the next morning, Leah wasn’t in the bed beside you, which wasn’t a surprise. The amount of girls you’d been with that would tell you everything you wanted to hear to sleep with you and then be gone before you woke. They just didn’t know that it was the last thing you wanted to hear, you weren’t looking for a commitment. At least you thought you weren’t, until Leah strutted back into the bedroom.
“Oh, you’re awake” she smiled. Holding a mug in one hand and a sudoku book in the other. A book that must have belonged to Amy and she’d rooted it out from God know’s where.
“You’re still here?” You asked, with a small uptick of your lips.
“Is that alright?”
“As long as you’re coming back to bed” you smirked as she placed her mug and book down, spread open on the page of her puzzle.
“Do you drink tea or coffee? I can make you one” she asked.
“Coffee” you nodded.
“Milk? Sugar?” She shouted as you called back how you took your coffee.
She came back to bed after a few minutes with coffee, finding you trying to work out the sudoku that she’d been working on all morning. She left the mug on your bedside table before slotting in beside you. You tucked into her, still holding the book as you both worked the sudoku out together.
“Not to make this weird” Leah began. “But this is like, my ideal morning”
“I mean, I would rather go out for some fresh air than sit in bed doing sudoku” you laughed.
“Y/n?” Amy shouted, slamming the front door and heading straight to your bedroom in the apartment, before either you or Leah had time to react. “Oh, hello” she smirked.
“Get out” you moaned.
“Did you get lost, Leah?” Amy teased.
“You weren’t meant to be home yet” you huffed.
“Well I’m home now, baby” she laughed. “I am going for brunch with Jason, the boy from last night, so I will leave you two lovers in peace” she headed back to her bedroom as you let out a sigh.
“Well, come on then” Leah said shuffling out from underneath you, as you looked at her confused. “Let’s go for a walk, and get you a proper coffee”
You got up and got ready, letting Amy know you wouldn’t be too long and to enjoy brunch. You always made it extremely clear she could not mention a word of this to Keira, under any circumstances.
You made a pit stop at Leah’s hotel so she could get changed into something that wasn’t last nights clothes.
You walked and talked for around 2 hours, totally losing track of time. You talked about everything you would with someone on a first date. Hobbies, dreams, passions, your careers. One thing that didn’t seem to come up though, was your sister, and that guilt you both felt last night. That was long forgotten. Leah’s fingertips had brushed off your hand too many times, and it was driving you demented.
“Just hold my hand” you said, grabbing her hand and slotting it in yours.
“I was trying to be subtle” she shrugged with a laugh.
It was another while before you felt your phone buzz to see Amy calling. That was when Leah checked her phone to, seeing missed calls from both Alex and Georgia.
“I better go” you both said at the same time, before laughing.
“Hey, y/n” Leah whispered, grabbing your wrist to stop you walking away, even though you were yet to move. “I don’t want this to be a one time thing” she shook her head.
“Me neither” you added.
“Could we talk maybe when we both get back to England? You’re living in London now, right?” She asked and you nodded. “I’ll take you out” she smiled.
“I look forward to it” you kissed her cheek before you both turned off in different directions, and returning the missed calls you both had.
True to her word, Leah took you out on a date when you both got back from Australia. Despite the heartbreak she felt about England losing the World Cup, she somehow managed to not forget what she’d promised you.
You didn’t know if she was actually going to take you out, so you decided maybe right before a World Cup final, or after, when they’d lost, wasn’t the best time to mention to Keira that you’d slept with her best friend.
You went out on several dates with Leah, and you’d both stayed in eachothers places a few nights now. You were both getting closer, and eventually she asked you out, officially.
After 8 months, you both still hadn’t gotten around to telling anyone. You were both happy and didn’t want anybody or anything to jeopardise the relationship so early on. Only two people knew, due to them having to bear witness to you both in Australia and that was Alex and Amy. Who have since both walked in on you several times in the last 8 months.
“Babe” Leah shouted as she came into your apartment, straight from training.
“In here” you called back from the living room. You had dinner waiting and the show you have been watching together paused.
You weren’t living together, as that would have required you both being open about being together. But you may as well have been. You can’t remember a night where she wasn’t in your apartment, or you weren’t in hers.
“You’re late” you huffed.
“Sorry, got held up with some stupid interview” she mumbled as you pulled her into a kiss, “But I’m tearing up my contract tomorrow” she smirked as her body pressed you further into the couch. Her lips were practically glued to your neck, the food and TV long forgotten now.
She’d just pulled her training top over her head, with a little help from you, when your phone buzzed.
Keira.
“Shit” Leah groaned when she saw the caller ID requesting to facetime.
“Put your fucking T-shirt on” you snapped as she leaned over to get it and you grabbed your phone, reminding her to stay quiet. “Hey Kei” you smiled as your sister appeared on the other side of the screen. You were just ignoring your sisters idiotic best friend battling with her training top, thankfully out of sight from your camera.
“Hey, I just wanted to see if you were still coming next week?” She smiled as you saw Leah starting to smirk.
“Yeah, yeah of course” you nodded. “Is that okay?” You asked.
“Yeah, more than okay” she chuckled. “Just, Laura is going to be here and then Leah is coming as well so you and her can rock, paper, scissors for the bed and couch” she laughed. Leah’s smug look on her face was only growing and growing as she started acting out a rock, paper, scissors.
“Yeah, we will figure it out” you nodded with a smile, waving your hand at the blonde and trying to pretend the topic of conversation was not stood right in front of you, with her T-shirt not even passing her shoulders. “Listen Kei, I was just about to eat dinner” you said, trying to rush her off the phone.
“Weird thing to call me, but okay” Leah mumbled as you leaned and kicked her into the thigh, all not seen or heard by your sister on the other line.
“No sweat, I’ll call you tomorrow. Night” she smiled as she hung up.
“Leah Catherine Williamson” you frowned as you placed your phone on the table, beside your now very cold dinner, sat untouched in the bowl.
“I couldn’t resist” she smirked, quickly kissing you and laying on the couch beside you. You both looked at the very unappealing freezing food laid out infront of you both. “I’ll order a pizza” she sighed, taking out her phone and you pressed play on the show. When she was finished ordering, she put her head on your lap and you roamed your fingers gently through her hair.
“Did you remember to” you began as she chuckled.
“Yeah” she nodded. “You don’t always need to remind me. I’m aware of you and your gluten free needs” she playfully rolled her eyes as you tugged her hair. Leah was protective of you in a sense that she’d never let anything happen to you on her watch. Which is why when the pizza came, she grilled the poor delivery driver for 5 minutes to make sure it was gluten free.
She got back to the couch, handing you your box, standing with her own and frowning at you until you opened it. You knew from the night in Sydney that she was protective by nature, but since you’d started dating properly, she was like your own personal bodyguard.
“Lee it’s okay” you smiled as she sat down beside you to look at your pizza.
“I like you and all, but I’m just not eating that for you” she laughed, ripping her own box open.
“I was thinking” you mumbled as you chewed on your slice of pizza.
“Oh, is your head sore?” She smirked, munching on her gluten filled pizza as you shot her a look. She loved joking and teasing you, but she knew that look, probably a little too well. “Oh, serious talk. Sorry, continue” she said as she threw her crust in the box.
“Would you maybe want to tell Kei? When we go to Barcelona?” You asked as her expression turned cold, trying to scan your face. When she got no signs that you were joking, her expression softened.
“Would you want to?” She replied, eyes now glued to the ground.
“Well, I’d love her to know how happy you make me. But, if you’re not ready it’s okay” you reassured her.
“No, I want to. I guess we kind of have to seeming as I eh, I kind of like you” she sighed, followed by a laugh.
“Maybe, if we tell her, when we get back, one of us could go for a never ending stay in the others apartment” you smirked.
“You mean like move in? You want to move in?” Leah shouted, a bit too enthusiastically, making you laugh.
“Would you want that?” You smiled as she nodded.
“More than I want to tell your sister” she laughed.
Due to her incapabilities sometimes to be an adult, you stayed in Leah’s the night before your flight, so you could get her packed.
It was all a coincidence, to Keira, that you had both ended up on the same plane and the seats next to each other. It was almost like you’d booked the flights together.
“Did you’s have enough time to argue over the bed and the couch on the flight?” Keira and Laura laughed from the front seats of Keira’s car.
“We said we’d wait til we got here to decide” Leah piped up quickly, before changing the topic entirely. The plan was to tell Keira over dinner and by the time you got back to the apartment, the topic of bed and couch would no longer need to be had.
You subtly slapped Leah’s hand away when she instinctively tried to grab your bag when you got out of the car.
“Here, I’ll take that” Laura smiled, grabbing your bag. “You’re alright there to carry your own, aren’t you superstar?” Laura teased as Leah laughed. You just thanked God that it was your sister’s girlfriend that grabbed your bag, otherwise Leah would have given them an earful.
“Bedroom is just in there if you both want to leave your stuff in there for the minute” Keira smiled at you both. “I booked dinner for 7pm, so I take it you’ll need the full three hours to get ready?” She smirked at you as you rolled your eyes at her playfully. “You want to go get coffee while she gets ready then?” Keira asked Leah. She looked at you briefly and knew by your face what she should answer.
“Yeah go on then, you coming too?” Leah asked Laura who nodded. “You want anything back?” Leah shouted at you, putting her shoes on.
“Yes please” you called, about to turn off into the room before Keira spoke again.
“Are you not going to ask her what she wants?” She laughed.
“Oh, eh” Leah stuttered. She of course knew what you wanted, and forgot you two were meant to be pretending you barely knew eachother right now.
“An iced vanilla latte” you smiled, heading off into the room. The three of them headed off, and you lay on the bed for a few minutes, scrolling on your phone, before getting up to shower and get ready.
You heard them coming through the door just as you’d just slipped into your clothes.
“Uh, are you decent?” Leah shouted from the door. You already know she had a stupid frown on her face from not being able to just walk straight in.
“Yeah, come in” you shouted back as she practically burst through the door and closed it just as quickly. She placed your coffee on the bedside table before looking over at you. “Fuck me, you look stunning” she mumbled, making her way over to you and kissing you gently.
“Thank you baby” you smiled. “You’re sure you’re still up for telling Kei?” You asked and she nodded.
“I’m sure” she replied. “Now piss off, I need to get ready” she chuckled, kissing you quickly and heading over to her suitcase. She stood frowning at the empty suitcase, as she rattled her brain back, trying to remember if she had definitely asked you to pack her case.
“I hung up your stuff already” you smiled, grabbing your coffee and saluting her playfully on the way out of the room.
“Could honestly marry you right now” she mumbled as you shut the door.
Laura and Keira were in Keira’s bedroom getting ready too, and Laura was the first to emerge. She knew you really didn’t like football that much, and she was good like that, to not make it the topic of conversation. She lived in Rome for most of the year for her job, so it was nice she had got time to come and see Keira.
Leah was next to come out, wearing a suit you knew she’d spent a good bit of money on.
“Oh, look at little Miss England” Laura teased.
“Do I look alright?” Leah asked, eyes stuck on you.
“Meh” you teased as you and Laura shared a laugh. But you noticed the frown on Leah’s face meant she wanted a serious answer. “I’m just joking, you look really nice Lee” you smiled, making her do the same. Laura looked between you both, and raised her eyebrows slightly at the look you two were giving each other. Keira was last out, immediately rushing everyone out of the apartment and downstairs to get in an Uber.
You scanned the menu of the fancy restaurant that Keira had booked. Your eyebrows were furrowed as you glanced through the three or four gluten free options the restaurant had. Leah noticed you looked a bit stressed and put her hand subtly on your thigh, immediately making you relax. The waiter came over and took everyone’s order, you weren’t too sure on the pronunciation of the dish you were ordering, so you just pointed at it on the menu as the waiter nodded. Laura ordered a bottle of wine for the table as the four of you laughed and chatted waiting for your food. You noticed Keira seemed really happy. She hadn’t been this happy in such a long time. You wanted her to know how happy you were too.
The waiter brought over the four dishes and Laura ordered another bottle for the table. He rushed off to get it as you all began tucking into your food. You knew the second you swallowed it that it was not in fact a gluten free dish, and either you read it wrong or this wasn’t what you ordered.
“Shit” you grumbled, standing up quickly.
“Baby? What’s wrong?” Leah said, so casually.
“Baby?” Keira asked with a frown, but neither of you heard her.
“I’m fine, just don’t follow me” you quickly rushed out as you sped off to the bathroom.
“Your wine” the waiter said, beginning to pour into Keira’s glass.
“Excuse me, my girlfriend ordered a gluten free dish, is this gluten free?” Leah snapped.
“Girlfri” was all Keira could manage before the waiter started to stutter.
“Is it gluten free?” Leah said again, a bit more aggressively and firmly.
“I’m not sure” he held his hands up. “One moment” he raced off to get someone and came back with a manager.
“Stupid fucking Spanish restaurant and stupid fucking gluten, I fucking hate gluten” Leah grumbled as Keira stared at her and Laura was gripping Keira’s hand so tightly to try and keep her calm.
“Was this what she ordered?” The manager asked Leah, pointing at a different dish on the menu as Leah shook her head and pointed at the correct one. “I’m very sorry, I will get this for her now” the manager apologised and ran off to the kitchen, as Leah sat back down. You’d also just returned from the bathroom now, looking a little flushed.
“You okay?” Leah asked, hand returning to your thigh.
“I’m okay” you smiled and nodded.
“Girlfriend” Keira shouted, so loudly, nearly everyone in the restaurant turned to look at your table. “What do you mean girlfriend?” She asked.
“Keira, calm down” Laura pleaded, but Keira brushed her off.
“How long have you two been together?” She snapped.
“Since Sydney” Leah mumbled.
“Sydney?” Keira shouted.
“Kei, can you keep it down?” You whispered.
“I want to go” Keira clicked her fingers at Laura who nodded and instantly stood up. Keira walked off towards the door before Laura, who was still stood at the table, fiddling with her wallet, had moved.
“I’ll sort it, just go” Leah huffed.
“She’ll come around. You two are good together” Laura smiled, before running off after Keira. The manager came back with your new dish, and was perplexed to see half your table was now missing, you were crying and Leah looked like she was going to punch something.
“Can I get you these to go?” She offered.
“And the bill” Leah nodded. She came back with boxes and the bill that Leah didn’t even hesitate to pay for. Leah had given you her jacket as she held onto a bag with everyone’s food and the bottle of wine in it, and had her phone in the other, ordering a taxi.
The drive to Keira’s apartment was dead silent, neither of you knew what to say to eachother, really. You felt Leah’s hand sneak over yours and that was the first time you’d looked at her since she asked if you were okay when you’d returned to the table.
“This doesn’t change anything for me” she whispered. You smiled at her weakly, because you felt the same. You were just so upset.
Laura eventually opened the door after persistent knocks from Leah. You went straight to the bedroom, like your sister had done, point blank refusing to come out, while Leah and Laura talked in the kitchen.
“She’s very upset” Laura mumbled as Leah nodded.
“Should we maybe go? I could take y/n to a hotel” Leah suggested.
“That’ll make it worse” Laura shook her head as it fell silent for a few seconds. “Are you two serious?” She asked.
“Look, it happened in Sydney, I don’t think either of us were looking for more than what happened. But, we got home and we were still talking and then we just started dating” Leah shrugged.
“So it’s not just a fling?” Laura added.
“We’re not just messing around, if that’s what you’re asking” Leah frowned. “She’s my girlfriend, I, I’m in love with her” Leah said.
“You’ve never said that before” you mumbled from the door of the bedroom. Your head was thumping and you needed a glass of water. You just weren’t expecting to walk into a confession.
“That I love you?” Leah asked and you nodded. “Well, I do. I love you” she smiled.
“I love you too” you kissed her briefly before instantly pulling apart and remembering quickly where you were.
“Wait there” Laura said, as she headed off into your sister’s bedroom. You could hear shouting, mostly coming from Keira from the room. How Laura ended up getting your sister out of the bedroom a few minutes later is still a mystery to you. “She’s not angry anymore” Laura chuckled.
“Yes I bloody am angry” Keira grunted.
“Kei, I’m so sorry” you pouted. “I’m not sorry about being with Leah, but I’m sorry we kept it from you”
“It’s not you I have the problem with” Keira frowned at Leah.
“It’s her fault” Leah protested playfully making Laura laugh.
“Leah, be serious” you moaned as she was the one to pout now.
“I’m sorry Kei, but I’m in love with her” Leah shrugged. “And I’m gonna keep being in love with her, even if you tell me not to”
“You’re actually being serious, aren’t you?” Keira asked, looking at the expression on Leah’s face as the blonde could only nod. “Jesus Christ, you fancy my sister? Are you stupid?” Keira laughed as every bit of anger left her body and Laura released a huge sigh of relief.
“Hey” you shouted defensively.
“Who else knows? Do mum and dad know?” Keira asked you.
“Only you two, Amy and Alex” Leah replied softly.
“God, my sister” Keira laughed at Leah who rolled her eyes at your sister. “Well, I’m sorry for ruining our first double date. We can try again at breakfast in the morning” Keira smiled.
“Come on then, let’s get you to bed” Laura hummed softly.
“At least we don’t have to fight over the couch and bed now” Leah smirked, pushing you towards the spare room.
“Don’t push it, Leah” Keira shouted.
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Note
bakugo and reader meeting again after a long time like maybe katsu has been away on a mission and he just misses us so much 🥹
anon this is literally such an adorable request!! This has been sitting in my drafts for the longest time cus i could never rlly figure out what i wanted to do with this, but as soon as i got the inspo i got to it !! im so so sososuuupperr sorry for making you wait so long and if you’re still sticking around, I LUB YOU !! anyways, i tried honoring this lovely sweet request as best i could, if you’re reading, i truly hope you enjoy (and all of you ofc!!) <33
fem reader, jus pure fluffy fluff ! katsuki n reader watch selling sunsets bc my mom does lmfaoo this ones for you momma, kissing, biting (lol will i ever stop), lemme know if i missed sum else !
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katsuki regrets planning this surprise.
it’s been one month. exactly 31 days since he’s last seen you. one month he had to survive off of late night phone calls and good morning messages.
katsuki had slowly but surely started climbing up the ranks as a hero ever since he’d gone independent and this mission was a huge steppingstone to victory.
except it involved him going abroad for a month.
you’d congratulated him when he’d told you. you hugged him hard and offered him your brightest sunshine smile, you’d made him dance around your little living room with you, celebrating his ‘rise to stardom’ as you’d called it and he remembers chuckling about it. you’d even gone out of your way and made his favorite to celebrate. but now katsuki understand you were probably doing that so as not to worry him.
he's known you for a long while and he knows you know he can tell when you’re lying, so he was sure you were happy for him. (you can’t fake anything from him and especially not the way you smile, he’s committed that to memory). and you truly looked happy for him, but he knows youwell enough to know that you were also devastated to find out he was leaving for so long. he’d seen the way your eyes widened and your shoulders dropped. but knowing you, you probably powered through it so as not to make him worry.
so stupid. you’re stupid. and he misses you so much.
despite you being in different time zones you make it work. he made sure to be updated daily and called you every time it was time for you to go to bed to make sure you got some well needed sleep and not staying up late mindlessly scrolling through your feed.
you send him pictures of everything happening throughout your day and you’d hound him about his, asking him if he’d eaten well and if he’d beat up any bad guys. and no matter how minuscule his actions were you’d always praise him. as somewhat childish as he knew it was katsuki still walked with his head up high for the rest of the day. if it was to impress you and make you proud, he’d be on the clock 24/7. but, knowing you, you’d get mad at him for overworking himself.
he misses you so much.
he’s on the plane. making his way back home to you a day before he’d told you he would be, his surprise. you’d been so excited, your squeals ringing through the phone, katsuki just couldn’t wipe the smile of his face and goddamnit he tried.
“ou, i can’t wait ! i missed you sooo much, katsu !” you chirped, he couldn’t wait to hear your voice in real life again instead of through his phone.
“yeah, missed you too sweets” he hums, packing up the last of his stuff.
“you better be ready cus when you get back, m’not gonna let you go for a whole month.” you tease, giggling. katsuki huffs out a laugh, looking down at his luggage ready to go as he’d fully finished packing up while you were on the phone.
“uhuh~?” he muses “better be ready for me when i get back. yer not goin’ anywhere either. no bathroom breaks when we're cuddling.”
“ew,” you snort “what am i supposed to do if i have to pee ?”
“that sounds like a you problem, sweetheart.”
you laugh and laugh and katsuki smiles, he couldn’t wait to be able to hear and see it again. expect not one phone call away, like he’d told you he always would be when you’d accompanied him to the airport all teary eyed, but in real life.
except now he’s starting to regret not just coming home on time.
don’t get him wrong, the sooner he gets to you the better. he’d meant it when he told you he wouldn’t let you go and as somewhat embarrassing as it is to him that he had gotten so clingy, being away from you for so long really did a number on him. distance makes the heart grow fonder his ass, he was more than fond of you when he was laying next to you every night instead of all alone in his hotel bed.
but right now he’s way too antsy. he wants to tell you about how he’ll be home soon to hear you squeal and giggle, but he sucks it up in favor of surprising you.
it’ll be worth it. at least that’s what he tried to convince himself when he finished packing up. and on his way to the airport. and on the plane..
who even thought of this stupid surprise idea anyway ?!
he can’t sit still. he has to stop himself from tapping his foot against the floor and shuffling around in his seat. the guy in front of him keeps reclining his seat back but it doesn’t bother him that much, because all he needs is to remember your smile and remember he’s coming home to you, and he feels his nerves settle. recliner-seat-guy be damned.
it’s pitch black by the time he’s off the plane and finally back home. when he checks his phone he sees it’s 2:09 am and you’re no doubt dead asleep by now, he smiles at his phone screen when he sees you smiling back at him.
his limbs suddenly feel heavier the higher the numbers show on the screen inside the elevator to his floor. his body buzzes with excitement but for some reason he can’t help feeling nervous. katsuki knows it’s stupid because you tell him every day how much you miss him and how excited you are to see him. all he wants right now is to see you.
he fumbles around a bit when he fits his keys into the door to walk into your tiny shared apartment and when he finally walks back inside, katsuki is reminded why he does this. why he’s been gone for exactly 31 days.
he kicks his shoes off quietly and sees yours left right by the door like they always are. like he always wants them to be. he wants to come home to your shoes by the door and to you smiling at him brightly and greeting him, or beckoning him over to the couch because you’ve been waiting all day to watch your favorite show with him. (he’s forbidden you from watching any episode of selling sunsets without him, the last time you did he got cranky at you for a good 2 hours.)
katsuki sneaks over to your room, socked feet padding over to the door quietly cracking it open. he’d managed to convince you to move in with him a few months ago, claiming it’d lower costs and yapping about how you practically lived here anyway. it was barely anything to get used to, it felt natural, like this was everything his life was leading up to. but he wants to give you everything you deserve and this cramped little apartment is definitely not it.
he wants to give you a cosy little house, or a penthouse or even a fucking mansion if that was what you wanted, as long as he could be there with you he didn’t care. he’d do whatever he could to get you everything you dreamed of at the flick of a wrist. and that’s why, as annoying and lonely as it was to be without you for so long, he’d pushed through.
katsuki needs to save people, and he wants to. but everything he does, he does with you in a little corner of his mind.
you’re fast asleep like he’d expected, katsuki huffs out a laugh, brushing at your cheek with his finger. his heart almost explodes when you try to lean into the faint touch and he can’t help it anymore. he sits down by your side and kisses your cheek. once, two times, three times and a little one on your nose. if he wasn’t feeling all mushy he’d be an asshole and bite you, but you look so cute he’ll put that off for now.
your nose scrunches up and your eyebrows furrow at the wet kiss onto your skin, you instinctively go to rub at your face with a whine, katsuki chuckles to himself when you open your eyes and the lack of distance between you both meaning your quite literally face to face with him.
“katsu..?” you mumble sleepily “ ‘m i dreamin’ ?”
katsuki chuckles, eyes soft “glad to know ya dream about me, but nah, this isn't a dream.”
you blink sleepily, and katsuki recognize those bright eyes he so loves gleaming the more you wake up “katsuki !” you squeal, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him straight against your collarbone, since he was practically nose to nose with you before he knocks against your chin but you both don’t care.
katsuki crawls into bed and wraps his arms around you tightly, snickering into your neck and you into his hair. you squeeze and squeeze him so hard he thinks you’ll suffocate him but he couldn’t care less, squeezing you like he’s trying to mold you to him.
you breathe him in and he flips you both over with you giggling uncontrollably. you topple over and land straight into his chest. you lift your head up with stars in your eyes like he’d hung up the moon for you and katsuki smirks back softly. because he would. he’d hang up the moon and the stars and more.
all for you.
“you’re back !” you chirp, kissing all over his face. katsuki feels his cheeks hurt, this is the hardest and longest he’d smiled in a month.
“how’d you figure that one out ?” you roll your eyes at his sarcastic remark, blowing lip bubbles against his cheeks as punishment. he playfully pushes your face away from him and you laugh.
“i thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow..” you quickly reach over to your nightstand to check your phone then throw it back down.
“it is tomorrow.” katsuki quips, already getting back to being a smart ass, you roll your eyes but you can’t wipe off the happy look on your face.
“you know what i mean, asshole” you jokingly narrow your eyes at his smug face and press a finger against his cheek “later tomorrow i mean. was gonna surprise you and you….out-surprised, me” you pout at your ruined plans.
he turns his face so he can sink his teeth into your pointer finger and you quietly squeal in disapproval, he smirks “was gonna, but couldn’t wait anymore. needed to see you.” he pulls you closer to run his nose against your pulse point “felt like i was gonna go fucking crazy if i stayed with those other bastards for a second longer.”
you giggle, placing your hands against his shoulders as he kisses up and down your shoulder and neck haphazardly “ don’t be mean.” you scold.
he lifts his head up to raise a brow at you, hands running up and down your sides “you mean to tell me you wanted me to stay away? didn’t miss me ?” he jokes, squeezing your hips harshly.
“of course i did. missed you so much i felt my heart would tear up sometimes..” you smiles sadly, running your fingers through his blond strands, he frowns "but i'm glad you're back now."
"yeah, and m'not leaving again for a damn long while." he squeezes you so hard he lifts you up in his lap a little bit and a surprised noise leak out of you. he lifts his head up from your chest to smirk at you in challenge "you're gonna have to get used to me and my big mouth all over again."
your heart squeezes, you feel like it'll bursts from happiness and katsuki wonders if he' supposed to feel this happy, if it's okay to be this content with one person. but only for a moment, because he's greedy, so so greedy for you. and he doesn't care if it's wrong because he gets to make you happy, to make you smile and laugh, to have you.
and katsuki does everything for you, so he gives himself to you without a second thought.
you hum, placing your hands against his soft cheeks to press your lips to his "got a month worth of your big mouth i need to catch up on." you whisper before finally closing the distance. you both immediately sigh in relief at the contact, being able to feel each other like this again. you smile into the kiss and katsuki thinks he's never felt more at peace.
after a month, exactly 31 days, katsuki's finally back.
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bonus :
"hey." katsuki ask, you snuggle into his side and hum.
"did you watch any episodes of selling sunsets without me ?"
you stiffen.
"n-noooo..." the sheets shuffle and crinkle when katsuki looks down at you. you shrink into yourself.
"maybe one or two.." you squeak out meekly. immediately he's flipping you over and pouncing on you.
"fuckin' traitor." he growls.
"i'm sorry i couldn't help myself !" you wheeze when he starts tickling your sides, kicking at the sheets "it's been a month !" you screech trying to catch your breath.
"yeah i know that !" he exclaims, ignoring the way you're thrashing around as he mercilessly tickles you.
"i'm soooorryy !!"
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415 notes · View notes
haetrack · 3 days
Note
did i hear mark request…
it’s late, you and mark have been spending the last week studying in the library every night for a big final. ur brain’s exhausted and u’ve been losing focus every now and again for the last hour but these last 15 mins, u’ve spent being distracted at how good mark looks next to u, extremely focused and determined to get through these practice papers. so u wanna see how long he can stay concentrated and quiet with ur hands all over him - he’s not quiet though this man is gonna moan and whine in ur ear like his life depends on it
(tbh i just wanna give this man a handjob in public and watch him finish)(he’s so hot)(i need him so bad)(maybe edge him a little too idk)
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req 5: mark lee x afab!reader
wc: 2.7k
warnings: smut (MDNI!), public sex in a library, handjob, edging (HOORAY)
a/n: THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL… HE SO… HES SONSNDMFK
-
you’ve been sitting at the library with mark for hours. the words of the article in front of you begin blurring together, none of it is really clicking, none of it bothering to stick in your head. you could recite the whole study guide and its answers by now. you just keep getting distracted. every time you look over at mark, you lose focus.
you can’t help but let your mind drift, can’t help but think about doing a little more than kissing with him.
you and mark have been together for five months. still a fairly new relationship, and you are happy to call him your boyfriend. he’s sweet, attentive, funny, and cute, but you can’t help but wish for one thing. since you’ve gotten in a relationship, you haven’t really done anything but kiss. which is fine, but it always leaves you on edge.
you can tell he gets needy too, his hands wandering, groping around as he licks into your mouth. you can feel him try not to subtly grind into you, keeping you firmly sat on his thighs as he kisses you. it’s not something you can complain about, but it’s been sitting in your mind for too long.
even now, late at night at your school’s library, your bored mind is not safe from these thoughts. you look at him through the corner of your eyes, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes focused on the practice problems he was given to by his professor. his bites down on his bottom lip, fingers messing with the corner of the page as he tries to remember what to do.
he’s not even doing anything crazy, but here you are lusting over mark while you two are studying. it’s been like this for a whole week, your boyfriend inviting you out to study with him for finals week. are you in the same class he’s in? no, but you will be there for him whenever he asks. you also get a bonus of seeing him like this.
during the first part of the week, you actually did study. you both focused on your own work, took small breaks with each other, then went back to studying. it eventually evolved to you staring at scans of your textbook, eyes occasionally glancing to mark. tonight is worse, you can’t stop staring at him.
you check the time, nearly midnight. you look around and find a few other students, either dozing off or intensely doing their work. none of them are aware of their surroundings, none would see you in the small secluded corner you both are in. you shift a little in your seat, squeezing your thighs together to calm yourself down.
you let out a long groan, which catches mark’s attention. he tears his eyes away from his paper, amusement in his eyes as he presses a kiss to your temple. it takes everything in you to not throw yourself in his lap right there. instead, you place a hand on his thigh as you kiss him back. he lets out a small sigh at the touch, eyes closing from the feeling.
you pull away from him, hand still on his thigh as you look at him. his eyes are still lingering on your lips, pretty and swollen from the kiss. a quiet laugh leaves you, “how much more do you have left?”
“not a lot,” he huffs, “it’s just, i legit don’t think i can do them anymore.”
you smile at him, scooting your chair close to his, leaning your head on his shoulder, “want me to take a look?”
“well, do you know how to do this?” he points to his paper, an equation that shouldn’t make sense to anyone currently being shown to you.
“i’m not as smart as you, but i will be your personal cheerleader.” you press a kiss to his neck, enjoying how he shivers at the contact. you press a few more kisses until you reach his jawline, your hand squeezing around his thigh. he doesn’t try moving, eyes fixed on how your thighs squeeze together.
when you move your hand higher, his hand shoots down to your wrist. you think he might move it away, telling you he doesn’t want to do this here. you’d apologize quickly, choosing to do your work as you hold his hand.
he doesn’t though, he holds your wrist there, a tight hold around your skin.
you move to put your head on his shoulder again. your fingers trace light patterns over his sweats. his leg begins bobbing up and down, waiting to see what you might do next. you’re almost surprised to see mark letting you go this far. you can feel the heat from his face, and you can see how his chest rises quickly.
you’re not sure if you want to initiate this here, but as you see mark squirm in his seat, you realize you might have to do something. you want him to tell you that he wants this. under the guise of being tired, you shut your eyes, exhaling while your hand continues to warm his thigh. you don’t want to pressure him into this, giving him the option to ignore you if he wants.
he tries. he tries to look at his paper again, trying to recall what he’s supposed to do. maybe he’d be able to figure it out if it weren’t for how close your hand was to his hardening cock. he’s not sure if it’s because of how frustrated he is or it finally dawned on him how pent up he is, but he needs you.
he lets out a shaky breath, your hand not moving from his spot. he shifts a little in his seat, moving your hand a little further up. it’s not where he needs you, but the feeling of your fingers tracing along his sweats has his cock twitching. he’s about to ask you to do something, but you beat him to it.
“do you need help with that, mark?”
he feels your gaze on his now too tight sweats, hard and begging for your touch. he bites back a groan when your fingers trace over the outline of his cock, squeezing at the tip. this the most you’ve ever touched him, and it’s getting to his head too fast. he bites down on his bottom lip, too scared to open his mouth.
there was a reason to all the times he’s pushed you off of him. he was so embarrassed, every time you kissed him on his lap, he couldn’t help but get so close to cumming. you weren’t doing anything intentional, but the feeling of your lips on his, the softs sounds you made, and the feeling of you on top of him sent a rush to his head.
for you to be so close to him, yet not where he needs you is enough for him to buck his hips into your hand. he lets out the smallest gasp. your lips graze his ears, “tell me what you want mark, i’ll give you anything you need.”
“want you to touch me, want you to touch my…” you can hear him swallow, “t-touch my cock, please.”
your hand teases the band of his sweets, messing with the drawstrings, “anything for you, markie.”
your hand finally slips under his sweats and boxers, hand slowly wrapping around his hard cock. this is better than any of your fantasies, feeling how he throbs in your hold. you let him sit with the feeling for a bit, you grip tightening around his length. he lets out a hiss, quickly covering his mouth when he realizes he’s still at the library.
your fingers move to glide over his tip, spreading the precum around, “guess you’ll have to be quiet, right?”
he nods quickly, eyes shaking when he looks down to see your hand in his pants, right where he needs you. he tries not to seem too eager, tries not to look like he was currently being touched in the middle of a library. his eyes scan the room, everyone else too busy to be looking at them.
when your hand starts moving along his length, he turns to look at his paper, trying to look busy. his hands are gripping onto the table, knuckles turning white as he feels you touch him for the first time. it’s not the most ideal place, but he’s too pent up too care at this point.
your hand feels nice around him. it’s not like hasn’t gotten a handjob before, but you’re the one touching him this time. 
he’s not sure if it’s because he can see how affected you’re getting by watching him or how good your hand feels wrapped around his cock, but he’s close to cumming. it hasn’t even been that long, he swears that he usually isn’t like this. he bites down hard on his tongue, one of his hands wanting to cover his mouth to stop any moans from coming out.
you noticed how quiet he’s being, and you can’t have that. you know he must be close to cumming, his length throbbing in your hold. you slow your movements, whispering so only he can hear, “mark, won’t you tell me how good it feels? wanna hear how good you feel.”
he shakes his head, cheeks turning pink as he tries to figure out what to do. all he can think about is how close he is, how warm you feel as you lean against him. when he doesn’t answer, you tighten your grip around him, thumb teasing his tip. his whole body shakes, ready to fill his sweatpants with cum.
“mark,” you whine out, “are you close to cumming? aren’t you gonna tell me that you’re close?”
his mouth stays shut, his hips bucking up. his tip is heavily leaking, eyes closed as he fucks into your hand. you can’t believe you get to see him like this, get to see him try and hold back how good you make him feel. it’s when he lets out a small whine of your name when you pull your hand away from him.
he immediately turns to look at you, grabbing your wrist, trying to put together a sentence that makes sense. you let out a small laugh, swatting away his hands that reach for yours. you pout, “you didn’t wanna tell me that i was making you feel good.”
he whisper-shouts at you, “that’s it? i-i could’ve cum… please. just let me- let me try one more time.”
“hm… you still have work to do, right? focus on your work, mark.” you press a kiss to his cheek, leaning back against your chair.
mark stares hard at you, cock still hard in his sweats as he tries to see if you’ll touch him again. in fact, you gesture for him to keep working, eyes watching as he huffs. he turns back to the worksheets, mind too hazy to do any work now. he taps his pencil onto the page, nothing seems to come to mind.
a few minutes pass, mark calming down when he looks at his notes. the problem starts to make sense, slowly writing down the steps to the problem. he tries not to think of you too much, realizing just how quiet you’re being. he knows you can’t stay still for long, waiting for any move you might make.
before he knows it, your hand slithers down into his sweats, fingers lightly moving across his cock. he’s half-hard, beginning to twitch as you make a fist around his length. before he can turn all his attention, you grab him by the shoulder, “keep doing your work, mark. finish your work and i’ll let you cum.”
he nods, but you don’t start moving. you look at him in the eyes, your hand tightening around him, “need to hear you tell me. wanna hear you make some noise.”
he gulps, his whole body feeling hot, “i’ll… i’ll try.”
you make a small noise in excitement, hand finally touching him again. you watch as he puts all his focus on the paper in front of him, not writing anything down. he’s blankly staring at it, licking his lips as his eyes threaten to close. you move your hand faster, tightening your fist when you reach his tip. he’s losing himself quickly, letting out small noises at the feeling.
you push into his side, “do your work, mark. don’t want anyone looking over here and finding that mark lee is currently getting jerked off in the library.”
he lets out a gasp, hands shakily picking up his pencil. he can’t control himself, hips moving on their own as he tries to stop himself from making too much noise. he can feel your expectant stare, just waiting for him to make a sound. it’s when you tighten your fist around his base, slowly sliding up to his tip that he lets out a quiet moan of your name.
you sit up a little further, now fully watching his face as he tries to hide from you. his face is scrunched up, his hips now fucking your hand. he doesn’t care anymore, not when you’re making him feel so good, not when he can feel his orgasm quickly building up.
“f-fuck, your hand feels good. just-” he lets out a small whimper, “keep going, baby.”
happy with his response, your hand moves faster. you can hear the slight squelch of it, his precum helping you glide against his cock. mark looks fucked out, face red as he keeps moving. he can’t help but pretend he’s fucking your pussy, can’t help but wonder if this is how it feels to have you wrapped around him. once finals are over, he will definitely be having sex with you.
you can’t help but let out a whimper yourself, enjoying watching mark fall apart way too much. you bite down on his earlobe, “wanna feel you cum all over my hand. wanna make you feel good, mark.”
he leans back, whining in your ear, “y-yeah, gonna cum all over you. wanna- wanna show you how good you’re doing.”
one of his hands makes it to your thigh, squeezing it for support. he’s losing control, low groans leaving his mouth as you jerk him off. his hips lift off the chair, choosing to full-on fuck your hand. he looks so good right now, and you think he might finally deserve what he wants. you let out a whisper, “cum for me, mark. wanna see you cum.”
mark doesn’t need to be told twice. his hips buck into your hand, his hand around your thigh tightening as he lets out a fuck, a low groan filling the air around you. he feels so gross as he lets go in his sweats, cum shooting out into your hold.
when you feel his cum spurt into his hand, you wrap an arm around him, letting him lean into your touch. he shoves his head into your shoulder, not caring about the loud whines he lets out as he cums in your hand. there’s a lot, his thighs beginning to shake as you help him ride out his orgasm. 
he pushes your hand away at the feeling of overstimulation, you laugh as you slide your hand out. your hand is covered in his cum, and you bring it up to your mouth. mark watches with heavy eyes as you suck your cum-stained fingers, watches how you practically moan out at the taste of his cum. he almost gets hard again, his cock begging for your attention. 
you laugh at him, quite loud in the quiet space of the library. someone shoots you an ugly look before sticking their nose back to their laptop. you and mark giggle together, hushed in the secluded corner you’ve been in.
“out of all the noises you were making, they decided to get mad at me for laughing?”
mark has to slap a hand around his mouth to stop anymore laughs, “i wasn’t even being that loud! you looked like you were enjoying it more than i was!”
you shove at his shoulder in embarrassment, “that’s what happens when you run away from me when we make out!”
“i’ll make sure it won’t happen again.” he goes to hold your clean hand, “now, can i, uh- can you teach me how to…”
he makes some weird gestures, and by the looks of it, he wants to try to eat you out. you smile at him, “of course, mark.”
427 notes · View notes
pshcomforts · 2 days
Text
➳ afterglow | psh. — requested
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non!idolsunghoon x olderfem!reader (feat. mark from nct)
“tell me this love is worth the fight”
synopsis: you forgot a special celebration with sunghoon, leading you guys to argue.
warnings/content: written in third pov. angst to fluff! slightly suggestive at the end (but nothing happens). age gap! (sunghoon’s 21, and reader’s 23). cursing! not proofread. sunghoon doubts himself :(
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 3.5k
a/n: message request.
༘˚⋆𐙚。masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: afterglow by taylor swift
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
1:28 ───────|──────────── -2:14
tick. tick. tick.
the clock ran faster within each minute y/n glanced back at it.
a sigh left her throat as she focused back onto her computer — typing in data to keep the files updated.
the girl worked an office job in her early twenties. it wasn’t as ideal, but for a paid internship, she had to take it.
months had passed since she started the job, and whispers of a promising position had been hinted each day she walked in.
and since then, y/n’s attempted to keep her score of being a trusting employee on a streak by staying past office hours.
she was a workaholic, if you will.
but who could blame her? the pay was good, and the work was her field of interest.
however, today was not one of those days she was willing to stay late for.
it couldn’t.
today marked her 1000 day anniversary with her boyfriend, park sunghoon.
her lovely, patient boyfriend who was younger than her by two years. the boy was in his early twenties, barely getting the hang of life with college.
a few significant dates had already been missed with the internship in the way, so she couldn’t possibly miss this one.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a quick buzz formed in y/n’s pockets, allowing her to take a swift glance at her phone.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ 1000 day celebration with hoonie ੈ♡˳ ࿐ྂ
she groaned out a sigh as she felt a sudden pressure weigh in at her heart.
“just a little longer,” her voice mumbled before staring down at the time.
[ 4:37pm ] — it beamed.
just a few hours left and she’d soon be in sunghoon’s forgiving arms.
“hey y/n,” a deep voice called out to her, snapping the girl out of her guilt-eating thoughts.
she turned to her superior, mark, who was wearing a friendly smile.
“yeah?” she tried to sound cheerful.
“i know you get off soon, but with your hard work noticed, i was wondering if you could help out with a little more paper work?” he uttered with puppy eyes. “it’s just.. the way you file and organize suits how i usually go in on it. would it be okay?”
y/n froze in her tracks, conflicted with her options — leave work as planned for the important date with sunghoon, or further impress the manager for a permanent job.
“it wouldn’t take long, would it?” she chewed her cheek, lips almost bleeding with how much she awaited for an answer.
mark gave a light chuckle. “no, i wouldn’t make you stay too late, y/n. you always do that to yourself.”
the girl awkwardly laughed in return, murmuring empty words of how much effort she was willing to put in for the company before he left her with the paperwork.
her original plan of leaving early from such an exhausting shift had taken a pause as she huffed at the amount of files in front of her.
“shouldn’t take too long..,” she tried to
reassure under her breath.
in seconds, y/n dove into the piles of paperwork — attempting to finish on time.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
[ 6:48pm ]
time was slipping through her fingers and the girl wasn’t even noticing it.
minutes passed within each time she glanced back at the clock, irking her to go quicker.
she had to finish on time, she just had to, at least before 9:30pm.
[ 8:21pm ]
coworkers around were now finishing their shift, leaving their cubicles to clock out for the night — leaving y/n with a few others.
“come on, i’m almost there.” she whispered to herself, sweat nearly dripping down her face with how much work she was powering through.
“good night, y/n!” — a few workers would beam to her, causing her to give a quick wave before going back to her job.
[ 9:18pm ]
the whole building was nearly abandoned now. the only remaining employees were mark, y/n, and about two more workaholics.
she was almost done. almost.
with such little time left, panic began to exude in the girl’s body.
“12 more minutes.. please,” she sighed.
a quick glance to the time was made before she decided to shut down every time displayed in front of her.
it was risky, but looking at the clock would only emit more anxiety to finish.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
soon enough, the filing job had run its course, and y/n was done.
“finally!” she beamed, stretching out every bone in her body.
her tired eyes glanced everywhere for the time before she realized her method of avoidance from earlier.
“did i make it..?” she questioned, but with every nervous breath she took, it was obvious she had no hope she did.
slowly, the girl lifted her phone to check the time.
[ 10:03pm ]
her fatigued body froze at the bright screen before feeling it defrost with a shiver to the spine.
she felt her breath get heavy as she searched for a message from sunghoon — just anything that may ease the guilty pressure on her heart.
but nothing.
no messages, no calls — nothing.
y/n bit her teeth together, clenching her jaw in regret.
sunghoon had been looking forward to their 1000 day celebration, and she failed him.
a shaky sigh left her throat as her hands fisted in shame.
“hey y/n,” a voice spoke from behind, causing her body to tense.
“oh, hey mark.” she murmured back, mind still flooded with sunghoon.
“you’re still here? i got your files, you’re good to go,” he responded. “by the way, i really appreciate your work here. i hope the ceo considers you here long term.”
y/n sighed in relief as a reply, body taking its final hit of exhaustion from sitting all day.
“you’re a great worker,” mark continued with a polite smile.
a few rewarding compliments remained to run through his mouth, allowing her to get a slight ego boost.
she beamed a smile towards him, truthfully forgetting about how much she had failed sunghoon.
“i hope to see more of this from you soon, y/n. we’re the last here so i gotta lock up.” her superior uttered to her.
the girl nodded her head before gathering her things and leaving for the boy to do as he said.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
the drive home from work was quiet.
y/n was worn out from the constant piles of paper work and to be quite frank, all she wanted was some peace and quiet.
the only thing that ran through her mind was how much mark had sweet talked to her about her work skills.
it was promising to hear all of that, and she couldn’t wait to tell it to her boyfriend — her boyfriend who waited hours for her.
but her energy was still wearing thin. every muscle movement she made in the car caused an aching bruise to form.
so when she arrived home, her hands slowly creaked the door open.
a sigh left her throat as she entered in.
everything was quiet and sunghoon couldn’t be found until she glanced to her left. the boy was sitting on the couch in silence, eyes lost in a daze and face blank with no expression presented.
then it hit her.
her blameworthy actions came back to guilt her once she found her person stiffly sitting down.
y/n took a gulp. she was the older one, but she knew how he was during arguments like these. she knew he was one to stay silent just to keep his emotions together.
“hoonie..?” the girl nervously mumbled, almost a whisper to his ears.
sunghoon only stood with a click to the tongue, jaw firmly clenching as he walked to the kitchen.
the atmosphere was quickly filled with tension in how much he ignored her.
“hoon?” she called out once more, only to get a slight glance back as a response.
the boy continued to gulp down some type of beverage, actively letting her presence go unnoticed.
y/n groaned in return, watching his petty efforts become the consequences of her own actions.
but truth be told, she was tired.
she was working all day, back to back with no break whatsoever and all she wanted was to get some sleep.
“sunghoon,” she sighed. “please, i’m sorry. i’m exhausted and work just kept pulling me back. my superior wanted me to file more before my shift ended and i-“
“work this and work that, that’s all we’re gonna talk about isn’t it?” hoon angrily spat, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. the boy ignored the mention of mark with how pissed he was.
✩ ‘fighting with a true love’ ✩
all y/n could do was pause at his outburst.
“i’m sorry, sunghoon, i’m tired and-“
“and i was waiting for you all day to come home for our celebration.” he cut off once more, teeth biting down to mush away the heart aches.
✩ ‘is boxing with no gloves’ ✩
sunghoon finally turned after softly slamming the drink down onto the counter. his darkened eyes met hers, burning holes before quickly tearing up.
“i know..,” she bit her lips, shutting her eyes to avoid her heart breaking at his gaze. “i’m so sorry, sunghoon, i am. i just couldn’t leave, staying after hours just promised me a permanent position. please understand, this is what i’ve been working for.”
hoon scoffed. “are you in a relationship with me or your work?”
she exasperated a sigh before walking to the living room and slumping down on the couch. almost instantly, her body felt the soft, cushioned seats that welcomed her — allowing her to feel drained again.
“please, hoon, i’m tired-“
“that’s how our arguments always end, doesn’t it? you forget a date of ours, then you come home and you say you’re tired, then we’re fine the next day.” the male ridiculed, walking to the living room as well. “when is this gonna stop, y/n?”
“sunghoon..,”
“no, you’re saying you’re tired but i’m the tired one.”
y/n sighed as she sat up, body becoming depleted of energy. “i’m sorry but this internship is worth everything right now, and i’m doing so well with making an impression.”
“worth everything?” sunghoon reiterated with a shaky tone. “even our relationship?”
✩ ‘chemistry till it blows up, till there’s no us’ ✩
“what? no, hoon, that’s not what i meant.”
“is that what our relationship means to you?”
she looked up to his eyes that were inflamed with betrayal. “this job defines my future, sunghoon. this job is what i’ve always wanted, can’t you see that?” a hint of irritation was made present in her voice, showing that her sleep deprivation was irking her to be annoyed.
sunghoon sniffled, quickly wiping away a few tears so his girl wouldn’t feel troublesome. “i see that, y/n, i see it very clearly. i feel like i never see you anymore, in fact. you’re barely here.” his tone was firm, hinting that he was reflecting the energy back.
“this job is for our future too, sunghoon. i’m working to get a good position for financial stability.” y/n uttered, feeling her droopy eyes threaten to close. her mind quickly recalled back to their slight age gap as she felt the weigh of carrying it all on her shoulders.
“our future? you really think there’s gonna be a future with us when i never see you anymore?” the boy murmured, fists clenching with every word that left his mouth.
he hated what he was saying, but it was the truth.
however, her heart still dropped when she processed what he had uttered.
“you don’t think there’s a future with us..?” she took a particularly harsh gulp as tears finally streamed down her cheeks.
“you’re never here, y/n. how can there be a relationship if it’s only one person putting effort?” sunghoon responded, tears taking its fall for him as well.
the two stayed quiet.
no more raised voices and no more hushed words.
they both had reasons to be mad at each other, but they couldn’t see the others point.
y/n didn’t know what to say. her reasonings were being constantly repeated, but it seemed like it wasn’t going through his head — same with him.
“hoonie.., i’m sorry that i’m not there a lot but, i.. i’m just trying really hard to impress my superior and it’s-“
“your superior?” his soft voice squeaked. “mark..?”
the girl raised her head to peer up at him, only to find his thick brows slightly scrunched while his lips were molded into a frown.
“yes,” she sighed. “mark.”
“you stayed late on our 1000 day celebration with mark?” he uttered, voice weakening at the thought.
“yes, but mark’s just my superior. he has to be there when i work late.”
sunghoon scoffed, shaking his head with a low chuckle. no words could be formed with how much jealousy was seeping through him.
“sunghoon.”
he turned his body away from hers as a response, jaw tensing with every envy thought that she unintentionally spent their 1000 day celebration with mark.
“park sunghoon,” y/n firmly called, causing him to look at her. “you can not seriously be jealous right now.”
“jealous that he got to have time with you, and i didn’t? ridiculous.” he let a small puff of air slip by his lips before gazing back at her.
at this point, the girl was completely worn out. she wanted silence, and this argument was bringing her to her limit.
“you really can’t be jealous of mark. i’m your girlfriend, he’s a coworker; and i’m only there late because of how hard i’m working to secure this job, to ensure our financial stability.” she repeated, voice slightly raised as her patience wore thin. her body was begging to rest, and she didn’t know how much longer she could take this quarrel.
sunghoon stayed quiet, considering his choice of words before mumbling, “how much does he make?”
they locked eye contact and y/n instantly saw his teary, red eyes that begged for reassurance.
“what?” she softly asked, word almost incoherent with how much her heart shattered at his gaze.
the tall male shamed his head away, tears painting his cheeks more as he reluctantly croaked — “nothing, never mind.”
“hoon-“
she stood, body barely standing on its own,
but her boyfriend walked away with a murmur — “good night.., gorgeous.”
he still said her favorite nickname even through all of this.
before y/n could say more, sunghoon had already disappeared from her sight — walking into their bedroom without another word.
she sighed whilst sitting back down onto the couch. her boyfriend had just built a barricade around his feelings, shutting himself out to push her away and she wasn’t sure on what to do.
✩ ‘i blew things out of proportion now you’re blue’ ✩
but if he needed space, then she was gonna give it.
✩ ‘why’d i have to break what i love so much?’ ✩
so she settled down onto the couch, situating between the extra pillows and blankets kept in the closet to not disturb him any further.
it wasn’t as snug as her bed with her favorite boy, but it’d do for now.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
[ 12:52am ]
y/n was half asleep on the couch now after having dreaded doubts about their argument.
her body faced away from the opening side, giving her no possible way of catching sunghoon if he were to get up for a bathroom run.
she felt cold and stiff without him. nothing would be able to comfort her as much as his embracing warmth could.
the girl softly sniffled, feeling tears well up in her tired eyes while attempting to go to sleep.
as her heart laid heavy with her, sudden feet movements were heard from her opposing side — hinting that her boyfriend had gotten up.
she figured that it was most likely for a quick bathroom break but when she felt his arms suddenly engulf her into his chest, the weighed feeling was relieved of her.
his soft breaths against her neck only acquired the way he couldn’t sleep without her.
“sunghoon?” y/n faintly whispered against him.
“we’re still mad at each other but i just can’t sleep alone tonight,” he hoarsely said back.
a smile curled onto her lips as she turned her body to face him. the boy’s eyes were closed but she could still find traces of tinted red all around.
✩ ‘it’s on your face, and i’m to blame’ ✩
“hoonie.”
✩ ‘i need to say’ ✩
slowly, he fluttered his eyes awake with a quiet sniffle in his nose. he raised his brows ever so slightly as a response, shattering her heart in the process.
she leaned in before placing a soothing kiss on the tip of his nose.
“let’s talk,” y/n uttered, lifting her drowsy body up to sit.
sunghoon softly groaned. “it’s late, baby.” he said in a low, attractive voice.
“i know, but i want us to talk this out so we can go to sleep without any worry.”
she pulled her boyfriend up so he could sit up as well.
he exhaled a heavy sigh of his before letting the quiet atmosphere take over for a second.
“you deserve someone who can provide more,” he broke out, causing her gaze on him to immediately soften. “someone who isn’t just a lost twenty-one year old figuring out life, someone like mark.”
sunghoon felt tears spark at the rim of his eyes once his confession was let out. “you shouldn’t be..,” he paused, throat closing at his reality check. “you shouldn’t be with someone like me. i’m still a college student and.., you just deserve better.”
y/n instantly felt her heart drop with his worried doubt. she let the boy stream down tears so he could cry it out and once he did so, she muttered — “hoon, please look at me..,”
but he avoided her stare, just for a second so he wouldn’t break down again. and when he finally looked at her, she embraced him into her arms.
she wrapped herself tightly around him, hinting that she wouldn’t ever leave like he said.
the male hugged back, arms clinging around her waist as he quietly sobbed a little more.
when y/n pulled away, her hands quickly cupped his cheeks — making him look at her with his eyes that were sparkled from the tears.
“you’re doing enough, sunghoon.” she confirmed with a sniffle. “everything you’re doing is enough. i don’t need or will ever want mark, i like working like this because it gives me motivation, and i love you.”
✩ ‘i’m the one who burned us down’ ✩
her last three words were emphasized before she contently sighed and continued — “i’m sorry that i stayed late on our anniversary. i shouldn’t have because i know this day was important to you too. i’m really sorry.”
✩ ‘but it’s not what i meant, i’m sorry that i hurt you’ ✩
the boy pressed his lips together to form a bread smile. “i’m sorry too, you’re a hard worker and that’s what i love about you. i shouldn’t have said those things earlier.”
y/n wore a half smile, shaking her head afterwards to say, “i know my work schedule is difficult with yours but we’ll make it through this okay? we always do because nonetheless, this is my life and i love that you’re in it.”
the girl placed a sweet and reassuring kiss on his cheek as she said, “you’re my boyfriend and i intend to keep it that way until we hit another chapter.”
✩ ‘i don’t wanna lose, i don’t wanna lose this with you’ ✩
sunghoon’s last tears dropped for the night as he pulled her into a crying kiss.
his lips touched hers and he immediately felt relieved. a quiet groan slipped by his lips in the process, allowing y/n to smile into their kiss.
his hands firmly cupped her cheeks while hers were entangled into his messy hair.
his thick brows were deliciously scrunched together in satisfaction before they both pulled away.
“another chapter, hm? want to start that right now?” the boy teased with a grin.
“sunghoon!” she shouted back, allowing her boyfriend to chortle out laughter.
“i’m kidding!” he flashed a wide smile at her before murmuring, “i’m tired anyway.”
y/n playfully rolled her eyes before smacking his arm. “sure.., let’s just go to sleep.”
she dragged sunghoon to their bedroom, slumping her body down immediately after.
the male giggled and laid down on his side, pulling her into his chest like he always did. her hands gently rested on him as he placed chaste kisses on her forehead.
“good night, pretty girl.”
“good night, baby.”
✩ ‘meet me in the afterglow’ ✩
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
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purple-babygirl · 13 hours
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welcome baaaack! i missed you so much
i've been here since forever and i remember a very long time ago that you promised us insecure chubby bucky. i never forget and i'm still waiting for him (when you get time for sure). i would love to read that whenever you right it! otherwise i'm really happy you're back again.
much love purple<3
Pairing: Insecure!Chubby!Chef!Bucky Barnes x f!reader Word Count: 4,180 Summary: Bucky runs into his ex, who manages to mess with his head, bringing his insecurities to the surface again. His girl takes it upon herself to show him how perfect he is. Warnings: 18+ content, bullying (sort of), negative self body image, insecurities, intrusive thoughts, mentions of cheating, a little crying, a little angst, smut, unprotected vaginal sex, multiple orgasms A/N: Nonnie, omg, you have been here a long time! I love and appreciate you so so much and I can't believe you stuck around for so long wow:"💜💜 Thank you so much for existing and for being here you're the reason I don't wanna leave again💜💜💜 Here's one insecure chubby bucky for you, I hope you like this one and that I did a good job💜 Thank you again ilyyy, please enjoyxx💜💜(y'all i think i forgot how to write smut what is wrong with me) ~
perfect to me
“I’m so sorry, baby, I have to run,” she told him after checking her phone, pecking his lips and taking quick steps down the aisle of the large store.
Bucky smiled, taking another fruit plate and placing it in their cart. His girl was such a hard worker and he couldn’t be prouder.
It was the night before Christmas Eve and his girl was still working hard so Bucky was going to make her the best holiday food she’s ever tasted. He was focused on picking the freshest cranberries when he heard a scoff, a very familiar one.
“Hey, Ryan,” Bucky sighed, not really wanting to ruin his good mood, as he turned around to meet a face he knew too well.
“What does she owe you?” said Ryan, tilting his head with a smirk.
“What?”
“There’s no way this chick is seeing you. I figured she must owe you and is just paying her debt!” He smirked further, not even trying to hide his gloating when he saw that his words still had an effect on Bucky.
“My relationship with her is none of your business.” Bucky’s voice was suddenly low as his eyes stared down at the contents of the cart.
“But my relationship with you is.” Ryan put a finger under Bucky’s chin but the latter took a step away.
“We don’t have a relationship. You cheated on me, remember? I was too fat for you.” Bucky’s shaky voice moved nothing inside Ryan. If anything Ryan wanted more.
“And now you’re too fat for her.”
“Shut up. She is nothing like you.”
“Really? Do you even know where she goes when she leaves you? Where she is right now, for example?” Ryan smirked.
“She got called into work and had to run to the office.” Bucky knew he owed him nothing and if he was in his right mind he wouldn’t have went through a conversation with Ryan at all, but he wasn’t.
“How are you still so naïve?” He laughed heartily as if Bucky’s misery was actually amusing to him.
“Leave me alone.” Bucky tried to push the shopping cart and walk away, but Ryan stepped before him.
“I didn’t know your publisher lived in an office.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She leaves you to go fuck your publisher. You know him, black guy, sexily built, very handsome.”
The words left Bucky feeling lightheaded as the world seemed to twirl around him. Could history be repeating itself? No, not this time. His girl was not like that.
“I saw her coming to his building with him.”
“How’d you even-”
“I wait tables in the restaurant across the street from his apartment. I didn’t know she was with you but damn are you lucky you met me today!” Ryan laughed insensitively.
“It’s probably someone else.”
“I think I know what your publisher looks like.”
“You’re lying,” Bucky chocked out, trying to get out of Ryan’s way.
“You don’t sound so sure about that.” Ryan tilted his head again with a smug smirk, poking Bucky’s tummy, “you know why? Because deep down you know she’s too sexy for you. Because you look at her and then at yourself and you can’t figure out why she’d want you. Because you know that sooner or later she’s gonna get tired of your fat ass and—”
“My life now is none of your business, Ryan. You left. You chose to go, so stay gone.” Bucky’s weak voice interrupted, shutting Ryan right up before he sped out of the store, leaving the groceries behind.
“You’ll come back to me when you see for yourself!” He shouted after Bucky, but he didn’t stop nor turn back.
He thought the days where Ryan messed with his head were long gone but he was obviously mistaken. Ryan could still easily hurt him. He could still make him feel as large as an elephant yet smaller than an insect. The dagger he’d planted was in so deep that Bucky couldn’t feel anything but the pain the stab brought. ~ His ex’s words plagued his mind. They took over and drowned out his girl’s voice, pushing it to the background.
The questions he had raised in Bucky’s head, Bucky had no answers for them himself. Why was this sweet girl with him? What did she see in him? Anyone who met them thought the same thing: they didn’t belong together. So what did she see differently? What was Bucky bringing to their relationship? Could he even satisfy her? Could he keep her fulfilled?
All of a sudden, Bucky was very aware of his size, of the way the couch made the slightest sounds under his weight, and the way his girl could fit her whole self on one of his thighs if she wanted to.
“Bucky bear?” A hand on his cheek pulled him out of his thoughts.
Suddenly, he hated the words she nicknamed him with. Bear? Is that how big she thought he was?
“Hmm?”
“I was asking if you wanna go shopping for last minute gifts with me tomorrow,” she repeated, smiling sweetly, her fingers brushing a few hairs back and behind Bucky’s ear as she yawned.
Bucky’s new cookbook became a best seller after one week of release and the publication house was throwing the amazing chef a party.
She couldn’t be prouder and she wanted to support Bucky all the way. She loved Christmas and now it was going to be even better with this event added to their memories.
She was going to go all out for her man and he didn’t even know it. It was going to be a huge surprise and she couldn’t wait to make it happen.
“Yeah, why not,” Bucky replied, faking a smile back.
“What were you busy thinking about?” Her thumb traced his stubbly cheek as she frowned worriedly.
For a wonderfully successful cook, Bucky didn’t look so happy.
“You,” he answered with the truth though his eyes didn’t sparkle like they usually would at the thought of her.
“What about me?” Her smile returned as she stared lovingly at Bucky’s face.
“Why are you with me?” Bucky couldn’t hide the sorrow in his voice if he tried.
“What?” She sat up straight in his lap as her face fell.
“Please don’t make me repeat the question.”
“Buck, where’s this coming from?” Her hands cupped both his cheeks.
“I just don’t get it.” He shook his head, swallowing as his hands removed hers from his face.
“Don’t get what?!” She placed her hands on Bucky’s chest instead, refusing to let him push her away.
“Why you’re here!”
“I’m here because I love you, what’s hard to get, baby?”
“Do you really love me?”
This was serious. She’s never seen her boyfriend look so broken.
“James, what’s going on?”
“Answer the question, plum,” Bucky requested, the back of his fingers stroking over her cheek, knowing this was probably the last time he would get to touch her soft skin.
“Of course I love you!”
“Then why do you leave me to go meet Sam and then lie to me about it?!” Bucky unintentionally raised his voice.
“W—what?”
There were so many emotions overwhelming her and none of them was pleasant.
She was shocked, hurt and dejected. Bucky has never raised his voice at her before.
 “What were you doing together last night? And the night before and the night before that?!”
“Bucky, you’ve got it all wrong.” She shook her head, heartbroken that Bucky would think of her like that.
“Please leave.” He slid her off his lap and stood up, turning his back to her.
“Bucky.” Tears pricked her eyes.
“Leave, plum.”
“Bucky, me and Sam were—”
“If you won’t leave then I will.” Bucky sped to the door, grabbing his jacket from where it was hanged.
The last thing he wanted was to cry in front of her too. He’s already shown his weakness once; never again.
“Bucky!”
He ignored her calls, ready to run out of the door and let his legs take him far away where he’d have to hear no lies and could no longer get hurt.
“James Bucky Barnes, don’t you dare walk out on me!” She blocked the door, preventing Bucky from exiting the apartment.
Her eyes glistened with yet to be shed tears as her heart pounded in her chest. The mere idea of losing Bucky for any reason terrified her more than anything else.
She loved the man with her heart and soul and would go to the ends of the Earth for his sake. Why couldn’t he see that?
“I didn’t wanna ruin the surprise but… your book is a best seller. Me and Sam were planning you a party to celebrate. We figured if we met at the restaurant it’d ruin the surprise so I saw him at his place after work.”
Bucky stared at her dumbly.
“You can call Sam if you don’t believe me.”
“Oh.” Bucky felt like someone’s just dumped a bucket of cold water over his head; felt like an absolute idiot, “oh, plum.”
“I’m sorry I kept it a secret, but I’m not sorry I wanted to do something nice for the man I love.” A tear rolled down her cheek and her lower lip trembled, “and I’m really sad with you for stalking me and doubting me like that. I didn’t expect that from you, Bucky… and I’m hurt.”
“Sweet plum-”
“You can leave now if you still want to.” She took quick steps to the bedroom, leaving Bucky at the open door.
It wasn’t often that she and Bucky fought and it was never something that couldn’t be solved within an hour. He could never bear to see her upset, let alone let her go to bed mad at him.
But this was big. Bucky has doubted her love for him. He’s insulted her loyalty and ruined everything because of his insecurities and the poisonous words of a man who never cared for him.
“Plum,” Bucky softly knocked on her door, swallowing the lump stuck in his throat, “can I please come in?”
She opened the door for him in a heartbeat, her face soaked in tears.
“No, no, sweet plum.” Bucky took her in his arms, praying to the deities she wouldn’t repel from his touch.
“You pushed me out of your lap.” She cried, her chest heaving and her forehead pressed to his shoulder.
His accusations hurt but the fact that he pushed her away somehow hurt her more.
Bucky couldn’t help but let his tears fall as well.
How could he be so thoughtless? She was the one good thing in his life and he almost let her go. No amount of restaurants he could open could make him feel as happy as a smile from her would.
He could write a library and collect every prize ever known to humankind, and she would still be the best thing Bucky has ever won over.
“I’m stupid, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His hold tightened, engulfing her smaller frame in a desperate hug, “please don’t cry because of an idiot like me. I’m sorry, sweet plum. Forgive me, baby.”
“Why’d you do it?” her sad eyes looked at him in question, full of confusion yet void of bitterness.
“I- sweet plum-” Bucky didn’t know how to answer her question because now that he looked back he could see how stupid it all was.
Why did he follow her for 3 consecutive nights while she went to meet Sam instead of just trusting her? Why did he choose to believe and trust in Ryan’s words and not her love for him? Why was it easier for him to imagine her with someone like Sam but impossible to think of her with someone like himself?
“It’s because I’m a big idiot,” Bucky replied.
“Bucky.”
“Please forgive me, plum.” Bucky pecked her temple.
“Tell me what happened.”  She demanded softly, wiping Bucky’s own tears away and kissing his chin.
“Nothing happened, sweet plum. I got inside my own head again. I’m sorry, baby.” Bucky lied with a sad smile, too ashamed to admit Ryan’s words almost had him ruining the best relationship he’s ever been in.
She nodded understandingly, her hand cupping Bucky’s face as she rested his forehead on hers.
Bucky would tell her when he was ready. She didn’t want to stay mad at him. She knew he had issues with self confidence and she wasn’t about to make him feel even worse. He would come to her when he was comfortable. Bucky would tell her on his own.
“Please stay.” She whispered, her teary eyes heavy with sleep, yet afraid to go to bed and have Bucky leave after.
“I’m not going anywhere, sweet plum.” Bucky kissed her forehead, taking her by the hand to their bed.
~
“You know you can talk to me, right?” Her soothing voice whispered, filling the dark room.
Bucky was laying wide awake, Ryan’s words playing in his ears over and over again. What he did to his girl and how he made her cry. All the messed up shit he did just hours ago gnawed at him and took the sleep away from his eyes.
“I ran into Ryan,” Bucky finally replied, unable to sleep while he’s hiding something from her, “he filled my head with thoughts about you leaving me for Sam, and I let him.” He admitted to the ceiling, hesitant to meet her eyes.
“I would never leave you,” she promised him without reluctance, cupping his face and making him look at her.
She wanted him to see all the love her eyes held for him with no shame.
“Please don’t. I will lose the weight, I will—”
“Wait, what? He told you I’d leave you because of your weight?” both hands were back on Bucky’s cheeks, thumbs wiping under his eyes.
Bucky nodded.
“And you believed him?”
“It’s why he left me.” He shrugged.
“Bucky,” she sighed.
“I know I know. It’s what’s on the inside that counts—”
“Don’t talk as if you’re not physically breathtaking!”
“Baby—”
“No! You have no idea how handsome you are, do you?!”
“Plum, you don’t have to say such stuff.” Bucky shook his head sheepishly and regretted it when he saw sadness cover her delicate features.
She quickly shook it off, scratching her forehead before taking Bucky’s hand, helping him sit up in their bed.
“Sweet plum, what are you doing?” Bucky asked when she started moving the covers down his torso.
“Gonna love on my man. Would you let me, Bucky? Can I love on you?” she asked, her voice soft and sweet.
Bucky nodded, hypnotized by the adoration shining in her eyes and she started to undress him.
Her eyes never left his as she took piece by piece of clothing off, revealing his beautiful figure to her, her smile only faltering when she bit down at the sight of her man in all his naked glory.
Bucky’s body was lit up under the soft moonlight coming from the window, helping her appreciate every curve and inch.
“You’re so fucking sexy you take my breath away,” she moaned, slipping out of her own sweater, “and I don’t just mean the way you make me cum so many times until I have to fight for oxygen.” She brushed her lips on his. Bucky was speechless. He could only stare and try not to lose his own oxygen.
This gorgeous human being was his and he was hers.
“Keep your eyes open for me, Buck.” She pecked his lips once and he opened his eyes at once, not even realizing he’d closed them in the first place.
She smiled at how fast he followed the instruction, leaning back on the headboard and licking his lips.
Bucky’s groan when her bra hit the ground made her giggle. She slipped out of her panties, leaving herself bare before Bucky’s eyes.
“Come here, plum,” Bucky’s arms reached for her but she shook her head.
“This is about you, Bucky Bear.”
She climbed on the bed between Bucky’s legs, her hands wandering along his shins, thumbs caressing up his inner thighs. She bowed forward, peppering kisses on Bucky’s soft flesh.
“I love your thighs,” her lips moved higher and higher, the tiny kisses and nibbles driving Bucky crazy as he tried not to touch himself, “love how thick they are. So strong. So perfect. I would ride them all day if you’d let me.”
Bucky whimpered when she accompanied the honest words with a bite, leaving her mark on his pale flesh.
“And that ass,” she moaned, her hands sliding underneath Bucky, pulling his legs up and cupping his ass cheeks.
Bucky’s shy gasp made her smirk. He was so precious she could eat him. Maybe she should some day…
She let Bucky’s legs settle back on the bed and kept kissing up and up, skipping his twitching cock on purpose and placing wet kisses on his tummy instead. Her eyes locked with his and Bucky bit his pink lip.
He looked so beautiful, blushing, disheveled and turned on like that. His pupils were dilated, his cheeks rosy and his breath uneven; she was falling in love with this chef all over again.
“I love your tummy so so much,” her tongue dipped in Bucky’s bellybutton and the flush spread from his cheeks and on to his neck and chest.
Another moan slipped from his lips as her warm tongue lapped at his skin. She was full on licking him now.
Her words were romantic but the way she was loving him was driving him insane.
“I love to feel it against me when we hug,” she kissed his right side, “I love when you let me rest my head on it and I get to hear you breathe and feel your heartbeat,” she kissed his belly, “I love how it warms my back when you spoon me. And I love feeling it pushing against my ass when you take me from behind.” She pressed a final kiss to his left side.
“My favourite has got to be your cock though.” She gave his leaking dick a single pump and his hips were already bucking off the bed, “I’m a sucker for this cock, baby. Literally.”
Bucky was too busy whining when her mouth wrapped around the crown of his cock to call her out on her bad joke.
His whole body was on fire with need for her. He needed her to do something, anything.
“Plum, please. Let me get you ready. I need you. I need to be inside you.”
Bucky didn’t want to cum in her mouth, not this time. He needed to be buried deep inside her and he wasn’t sure how long he would be able to last.
“I’m ready,” she said, situating herself on top of his cock, rubbing the tip on her wet folds, letting out filthy mewls at the feel of him against the lips of her pussy, “always ready for you, baby.”
Before Bucky could argue that he should at least make sure she was prepared to take him just in case, she was pushing the tip of him in, stretching herself out on his cock with her head thrown back and her mouth open in a silent scream.
“Fuck, baby, so tight,” Bucky groaned, feeling her pussy grip every inch as soon as it disappeared inside her.
When she has completely impaled herself on Bucky’s cock, she stilled, taking a minute to get used to the stretch.
No burn has ever felt as good as the burn she got when Bucky’s dick split her in half. Getting opened on this cock was her favorite thing in the world.
She dragged her lips along his stubbly jaw as she waited, kissing all over his face, savoring the moment as sweetly as possible as if the head of Bucky’s cock wasn’t almost touching up her cervix.
Her open palms glided from around Bucky’s neck to his shoulders and down his arms until she reached his palms.
“and those hands, I think you already know how much I love your hands.” She chuckled as she continued and Bucky nodded, squirming below her.
“I love when you hold my hand; makes me feel safe; chosen,” she rolled her hips, making Bucky groan wantonly.
“I love how fast you can make me cum on the fingers of your left hand.” She whined when Bucky’s hands dug in her sides as she moved on him, surely leaving bruises behind.
“Fuck, plum-” Bucky was so close so fast and he wished he could last longer but the movement of her body on top of his, the words leaving her mouth and her walls snug around his cock were too much.
“I love you. Every inch, every part. I love all of you, Bucky.”
Bucky groaned in reply, chest heaving as he watched her take him.
“I love every part of you. I crave your touch like my lungs crave air.”
Bucky involuntarily thrust up, making her eyes roll.
“Oh Buck!” she wailed, Bucky hitting her favorite spots so good.
He couldn’t stop his hips from meeting hers every time she came down to take his cock over and over again, eyes glued to where he was disappearing inside of her.
“Nothing could ever match the feeling of being filled up of you, Bucky.”
“I love you, plum ahhh fuck,” Bucky moaned, overwhelmed by emotions and ready to burst any second.
“I love you too, Bucky bear. You’re my everything; my one and only.” She kissed him hard, thighs shaking around his body as she came on his cock.
Bucky couldn’t help but let go himself, cumming harder than he has ever before, filling her up with so much cum until he felt it leak out of her despite having her plugged on his softening cock.
She moaned at the warmth of his cum, shuddering when it seeped out of her.
“Fuck, plum,” Bucky sighed on her shoulder, breath still shaky.
She giggled shyly, burying her face in Bucky’s neck.
“Where did that come from?” Bucky asked, cupping her cheek so he could look at her.
She was glowing, smiling at him so innocently as if his cock wasn’t still buried deep up her leaking, pulsing pussy.
“From here.” She pointed to the spot between her breasts.
“Right here?” Bucky leaned forward to press a kiss on her hot skin, making her laugh as she nodded.
“I love you,” he whispered on her lips.
“I love you, Bucky. I love every tiny detail about you inside out. Nothing will ever change that.” She promised, seeing his eyes soften once again, insecurity dissipating.
“Thank you, plum.” Bucky hugged her close, kissing her shoulder and the back of her neck.
“Thank you for letting me show you how much I love you.”
“So you love my cock huh?” Bucky teased.
“Buckyyyy,” she whined, trying to get away as her face heated up.
“No, say it.” Bucky bit his lip, looking at her with a smirk.
“You know I do. Stop.”
“No, plum. I don’t know anything.” Bucky shook his head trying to act serious, “say it again.”
“Iloveyourcock,” she mumbled, trying to take herself off his cock.
“What was that, plum?” Bucky thrust upward into her and even with a soft cock he could make her make the sweetest sound.
“Hngh, I love your cock, Bucky,” she moaned, throwing her head back.
“Hmm, how much?” Bucky swirled his hips, feeling himself get hard again.
“S-so much,” she admitted as his cock stretched her sensitive pussy.
Bucky held her close, turning them the other way around and gave a deep push when he was on top, his cum making the filthiest squelching sounds as she screamed an “oh god”.
“So much you’d let me take you again?”
“Yes, yes,” she nodded frantically, not wanting the man to stop his thrusts.
And he wasn’t going to.
Bucky’s tummy pinned her down as he pressed his lips to hers, eating up her squeals as he pounded her into the bed, showing her how much he loved her.
~
“So you really don’t care about my weight?” Bucky asked, supporting his body up on his elbows as he stared at her glossy eyes.
She could barely remember her name as she tried to come down from the other two orgasms Bucky has just given her, his body still on top of hers, but that wasn’t a question she needed to think about the answer to.
“I only want you okay and healthy, Bucky. If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable. If you’re happy, I’m happy. Otherwise, you’re perfect to me,” she told him with a shrug, pushing his wet hair behind his ears, “every little thing about you is perfect.”
“I love you so much, plum.”
“I love you more.” She smiled, heart fluttering at the look he was giving her.
“Not possible.” Bucky kissed her lips, “not possible, plum.”
~
Tag list:
@harrysthiccthighss @tinystudentfirepurse @lavendercitizen @tumblin-theworldaway @pretty-pop-princess-hs @lilymurphy03 @idontwannagomrstarkk @glxwingrxse @littlelioncub43 @mathletemadison @canned-rootbear @pandaxnienke @loveisallyouneed1125 @floral-recs @littlemoonkiller @hallecarey1 @vespasianphantom @vicmc624 @winters1917 @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @blkmystery @millercontracting @trappedwriter @am-3-thyst @obsessedwithquinn @sydnielauryn @alittlerayof-pitchblack @olipiaa @peterparkersgirl-blog @buckybarnessweetheart @thealyrs @colorfulbluebirdpainter @stuckysgirl27 @ihavetwoholesforareason @princess-bee0 @pastel-noah168 @steeph-aniie @buckitostan @onthr-dream @sapphirebarnes @123iloveyou456 @ciaqui @lindasweetie
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annesart · 15 hours
Text
𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 || J. Hughes
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SUMMARY: Y/n is trying her best to make little Em asleep, but as much as tired is she, she's not successful and Jack needs to help.
WARNING: angst, fluff
PAIRING: dad! Jack Hughes x mom! reader
Since the time Emma was born it was harder to sleep for sure. She, like every other baby, has sometime problems with falling asleep, crying all night long. Tonight was no different. Em cried, nothing helped her sleep. And you were already desperate, tired, exhausted, angry, sad, helpless.
Jack usually didn't wake up much, his sleep was more sound. But today's crying, which had been going on since 1 am when Em woke up and continued until now - until 3 am, did not let him sleep.
"Shh, sleep baby, please," you said with a tear on your cheek. You had to fight yourself to keep from crying. You sat on the end of the couch in the living room so Em's crying wouldn't wake Jack. But he was already standing in the doorway and saw how tired and desperate you were.
"Let me help you," he whispered, his voice hoarse, kissing your forehead and took your guys daughter into his arms. He rocked her and little Em stopped crying in about 2 minutes. Jack carefully carried her to the bedroom, where he placed her in the crib. He then went back to you where you were now the one crying.
"Honey, what's wrong?" he asked and sat next to you, placing his arm on your back. You sobbed and couldn't let a wrd out of you. "Y/n?" he repeated. “I'm a terrible mom,” you whined. "I put her to sleep for two hours, nothing helped. I did everything necessary, changed her diaper, fed her and nothing helped, then you come and she stops. She hates me, Jacky."
Jack smiled softly and pulled you into a hug. "That's not true. You're a great mom!" he has begun. "It's not your fault that you're tired and you just couldn't do it. The more tired you are, the more energy you lose and so you can't put her to sleep properly. Don't blame yourself, honey. I'm here, for you two, to help. I always will be, and you know that. And seriously- you're the best mom I could ever ask for for my kids."
His words calmed you down. But you stopped. "Kids? We have more?"
"No, but we will. I mean only if you'd like to." That made you laugh. "Maybe one day, but I'll get a good night's sleep for that." You said and you both laughed. "Alright, let's get some sleep." he said and took you in his arms. His touch was so nice that just transferring to the bed closed your eyes down.
He laid you down, and cuddled up to you as you slowly fell asleep.
"I love you," you breathed out.
"Love you more." Jack kissed your cheek. He was all you needed, and everything will be okay again.
158 notes · View notes
slvtforoldermen · 3 days
Text
Joel Miller Starring In…
Affection Petnames!!
Baby:
Pretty standard, you know every day use, not his favourite but definitely most used. But he loves it when you’re curled up under the covers and he’s just come in from a long day of hard work, and you’re cuddled up, as if nothing could harm you. His baby. His pretty baby who takes him so well, and he fucks his baby so good, right, his baby?
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Babygirl/Babyboy:
This one he mostly uses in two separate situations. The first, when you’re sad, crying your eyes out at whatever has hurt you today, he kneels down between your legs, wiping your tears and shushing you, whispering to you, asking if you wanna talk about it, but not pushing you if you don’t want to just yet. The other, only on sweet Joel days, when he’s so deep inside you, rocking into you slowly, overstimulating you because he’s trying to reach his own orgasm, and again he’s wiping tears from your face, and peppering kisses on your face, whilst he fucks you through another orgasm. Please just thank him, he’s trying his best to get there, but he’s getting old, he can’t cum like he used to…
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Sugar:
This is very a preoutbreak!Joel coded nickname. Just imagine you’re cooking in the kitchen, moving around as quickly as possible, and you get stopped by Joel, his large figure enclosing yours and he mutters a quick: “Hey sugar, how was your day?” But sometimes… “Oh yeah sugar, don’t you take my cock so well, oh yeah, so pretty…” “So dirty for me sugar, fuck.”
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Doll:
I had a dream the other night where Joel and I were drinking and laughing and then he called me Doll and I’ve not been the same since. Anyway, now that I’m sad. “Morning doll…” he’ll murmur to you when he wakes up, snuggling into your back, his nose pressed against your collarbone. He loves just watching you ride him, and definitely uses doll in a degrading way most of the time. From “Good doll, not good for anything but a good fuck” “Pretty doll, hole so tight, can’t get enough of you” to “I love you so much doll… did so well, y’always do honey…”
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Guys look at my man, he’s so sweet, he couldn’t ever hurt anyone :(
Sweetcheeks:
A very teasing and sweet nickname for him. Incredibly similar to sugar but a lot less intimate. You’ll just be doing chores and work around the house, and Joel will silently slip behind you and grab your ass, giving one cheek a small smack. “Hey sweetcheeks, you’re the best, yknow that?” After questioning of what Joel wants, you’ll be dragged into the bedroom and fucked into next week.
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katemartinismywife · 20 hours
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senior night - p.b
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☺︎ paige bueckers x texas women's basketball player ☺︎ ☺︎ fluff ☺︎
"So you actually aren't coming?" Ryan asked her long term girlfriend Paige. "I can't make it mama, i'm so sorry" Paige was grateful that the two weren't on facetime. She was trying so hard to not tell the truth. Paige wasn't the best at lying, but she really wanted to give Ryan this special gift.
Ryan and Paige have been dating for over a little of four years. The two met while they were both at Overtime headquarters. After their first time talking they were inseparable. They had agreed to make long distance work and hope that one day their lives would settle, so they could move in together and start their lives.
Since basketball season has started they have barely seen each other since they were on different schedules. The last time they saw each other was when Ryan flew to Storrs for their game against Maryland. But that was back in November, it is now February.
Ryan had missed her girlfriend so much. It was beginning to hit her hard. All she wanted was to see her especially on her big day. "Are you at least going to watch?" Ryan sighed walking into the locker room. "I'm going out with the team tonight, but if it is on somewhere you know I will" Paige spoke trying to not break her heart more.
"I love you" Before Paige could respond Ryan hung up the call. Paige knew she was upset, but really hoped that this would work. She hated when her baby was unhappy. Paige was currently on her flight to Texas texting Ryan's sister about how much she hated hurting her.
Of course Paige couldn't do this big surprise by herself, so she allowed for KK and Auzi to come with her. Ryan loved the two girls, so it would be great for her to see them too.
Ryan slipped on her bose headphones and changed into her warm ups. "Ryan you okay?" Jordana asked her. Jordana Codio was her best friend on the team. "I'm good" Ryan smiled, but it never reached her eyes.
jordana: pb you got my girl stressing lol
pb: i love her sm
jordana: i'm excited for y'all 😭
It was officially time for senior night to begin. Ryan met up in the tunnel with her mom and her sister. Ryan was an a very emotional person, so she immediatly began crying. "Stop crying crazy, nothing has happened yet" Her sister laughed giving her a hug"
"Ryan Andrews"
Ryan began walking wiping her tears off her face and smiling as the crowd cheered. Finally being able to clear her eyesight, what she didn't expect to see was her girlfriend standing beside her head coach.
She stopped in her tracks with her hand over her mouth. Paige laughed walking up to her giving her a tight hug as Ryan broke down into tears. The love stricken crowd began to "aw". "Stop crying mama" Paige spoke wiping Ryan's tears off her face. "I want to kiss you so bad right now" She spoke quietly releasing her from the hug and holding her hand.
Coach Schaefer walked over to Ryan hugging her and giving her the microphone. "This is so awkward. Um, I just want to thank Coach S and all the rest of my amazing coaches for helping me improve throughout these four years. I have loved playing for this team. A huge thank you goes out to my mom, sister, and paige for helping me through all of the mental and physical breakdowns. I love you guys so much and I am not a cute crier, so I'm going to stop talking now" Ryan laughed hugging her coach again.
The crowd busted out into cheers and claps. "I am so proud of you" Her mom told her wiping her tears. "Thank you mommy" Ryan walked off the court hand in hand with her girlfriend. "You made me cry meanie" Ryan smiled nudging her girlfriend. "I'm sorry baby, but I wanted to surprise you on your big day" Paige pulled the girl into a hug placing a kiss on her forehead.
"Go win" Paige told her smiling at her.
TEXAS LONGHORNS W, 71-46
Right after the last buzzer Ryan ran right over to her girlfriend engulfing her into a hug. Ryan wrapped her legs around Paige's waist and secretly kissed the side of her neck. "You did so good mama" Paige smiled rocking the two side to side.
"Don't leave! I'm going to go take a quick shower and then I'll meet you out here" Ryan jumped off of her. Looking around making sure the coast is clear. She threw her hands around her neck kissing Paige's soft lips. "I love you" Paige spoke between kisses rubbing her hands up and down Ryan's back.
"don't go anywhere okay?"
"i'm not going anywhere" Ryan walked off smiling and throwing her arm around Jordana's shoulder. Paige watched the now overjoyed girl skip off to the locker room.
She really did find her person.
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sluttyft · 11 hours
Text
Invisible Smoke - C.S.
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athr's note: idk if i hate or love this BUT M BACK!!!
warnings!! ANGST NO COMFORT. Mean!Chris (selfish, no emoional responsability, yells at the reader and insults them). Yelling, Swearing, Fighting, Being uncomfortable, idk if i missed anything.
summary! Y/N struggles to adjust to the new dynamic in her relationship with chris as his fame startes to rise, and their time together becomes slimmer. what happens when Y/N stands up for herself?
------------------------------------------!!!
It had been a few months since that fateful night at the noisy party, the night when fate had brought us together. I had been wearing my favorite pair of heels which, as luck would have it, had broken just as I was walking towards the bar. It was then that I spotted Chris, looking at me with an amused smile playing on his lips, and I mustered up the courage to ask him for help.
To my surprise, he not only fixed my heel but also struck up a conversation with me. His blue eyes stood out against his pale skin, which was shining in different colors from the lights around us. We had exchanged numbers amidst the chaos of the party, and that was the beginning of our story.
Fast forward to the present, and I found myself sitting at the dining table, surrounded by my new family. Chris was sitting to my right, but it felt like he was miles away from me. Matt was on my left, and Nick was in front of me, while MaryLou and Jimmy occupied the two ends of the table. I couldn't help but feel like something was off.
Chris seemed distant, and I couldn't shake off the feeling that he didn't have any time for me anymore. I had been struggling to adjust to this new dynamic in our relationship as his fame started to rise and our time together became slimmer, and it was taking a toll on me. As the night went on, I found myself lost in thought, unable to fully enjoy the company of my loved ones.
His words reverberated in my head, and I felt my heart sink as I realized the severity of the situation. We had just arrived back at my apartment, and he was pacing around the kitchen while I sat on the sofa, my hands covering my head as tears streamed down my face. He watched me cry, his face devoid of any emotion as he spoke in a cold, harsh tone.
"Can't you just be normal?" he asked, frustration evident in his voice. "I'm asking you for one basic thing, and it's not that hard." He walked up to me, towering over me as his hands swung around in anger. "I didn't mean to, okay?" I tried to explain, my voice shaking with fear. "I just wasn't feeling good, and I didn't know how to express it." His face contorted with rage, and he let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, Y/N… you're so selfish, you know that?" he said, his voice laced with sarcasm. "You never think about anyone else but yourself." As he looked down at his feet, I felt a wave of despair wash over me.
The person I loved most in the world was standing in front of me, but he seemed like a stranger. The hurt and anger in his eyes were too much for me to bear, and I knew that something had changed between us forever.
I stood up, feeling my anger taking over me while tears started to pour out of my eyes. "Well maybe if you would've asked me what was wrong none of this could've happened," I muttered, my voice trembling with emotion. Four long months of taking his constant criticism without uttering a single complaint had finally taken their toll on me. "And I'm selfish?!" I exclaimed, my voice rising with each word. "You're unbelievable, Chris," I said, my voice choking on my tears. I knew that lashing out at him would only result in more pain, but I couldn't back down now.
I stood there, waiting for Chris to respond. But instead of apologizing, he just stared at me, his eyes flashing with anger. "What do you want from me?" he said, his voice cold. "I can't be everything to you. You're always so needy, always wanting more. It's never enough, is it?"
I felt a surge of anger and frustration rise within me. "That's not true," I said, my voice trembling. "All I want is for you to listen to me, to care about me. Is that too much to ask?"
Chris sneered at me. "You're impossible," he said. "I can't deal with you anymore. I'm done."
And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving me standing there, alone and broken. I watched him go, feeling a sense of despair wash over me. I knew that we would never be able to make it work, that our relationship was doomed to fail.
But even as I thought that a small part of me still held onto hope, still believed that maybe, just maybe, we could find a way to make things right. But deep down, I knew that it was just wishful thinking, that the reality was far bleaker than I wanted to admit.
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mynameismckenziemae · 23 hours
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Unbroken
Part 8
(previous part here, next part here)
Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x You
Summary: You fall for Bradley more and more with every day that passes. Someone from your past shows up.
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Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Smut, p in v, brief oral (m receiving), fooling around while driving (again), asshole ex-boyfriend, a sprinkle of violence, fluff, etc.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Days turn into weeks and the weeks pass quickly. Soon the days get shorter as summer fades to fall. Your feelings for Bradley keep growing stronger with every moment spent together; which isn’t nearly as much as you’d like with your packed schedule and Bradley’s early mornings.
You’ve only been able to spend the night together once since the night of the rodeo with you being on-call and Bradley on the carrier training, so to say you’re excited for the long Thanksgiving weekend off is an understatement.
Charlie: You and Bradley want to go to Buck Wild tonight with us? There’s a band.
Emma: I suppose. You do realize it’s going to be a high school reunion, right? Everybody’s home for Thanksgiving and everybody goes out the night before. 🙄
Charlie: Perfect time to show off your hot boyfriend 😉
Emma: Oh. That’s true 😏 What time?
Charlie: 7ish.
Emma: Perfect. Just a heads up-I’m blaming you if I’m hungover tomorrow.
Charlie: That’s fine. Ruth loves me, you know it’ll somehow be Jake’s fault though, right?
Emma: Exactly 🙂
Charlie: Being the only child wasn’t always so bad.
You laugh and get back to work.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“Hey sweetheart, sorry I’m late,” Bradley says, giving you a quick kiss before opening the door to the Bronco for you. “The last hop went longer than expected.”
“It’s okay, I was none too early, I just finished getting ready a few minutes ago,” you reply, pausing as you buckle in. “You know, we could just take my truck,” you smirk, unable to resist teasing him.
He scoffs, taking your seatbelt to finish buckling you in. “Nope. The Bronco is just fine. I still don’t get what you have against her.”
“It’s a Ford, Bradley,” you reply with disgust. “Back in the day, driving a Ford was a dealbreaker for me. You’re lucky I’ve gotten lenient in my old age.”
“I am pretty lucky,” he chuckles as he reaches for your hand to place a kiss on the back.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
The place is packed as expected but Jake and Charlie snagged a table in the corner.
“How’d you manage to get a table?” You ask over the noise once you make your way over, drinks waiting.
“Willie gave us a reserved one when I told him you were coming,” Jake responds with an eye roll as he hands you both a beer.
You catch Willie’s eye behind the bar and blow him a kiss, laughing when he catches it before placing it on his cheek.
“Must be terrible not being anyone’s favorite,” you tease, jabbing Jake with your elbow.
“Whatever,” he huffs. “I’m Charlie’s favorite,” he says as he puts his arms around her.
“Ehhhh…I don’t know about that. You were until your socks missed the hamper-hey! I’m kidding!” Charlie laughs when he tickles her sides.
“Drinking tonight?” You ask when you count four whiskey shots on the table.
“Yeah, the last pregnancy test was negative but I figured it would be since Jake was on the carrier this month when I was the most fertile, according to the app at least,” she replies as she pushes a shot glass over to you then Bradley. “I’m not worried though, it hasn’t even been 2 months. We’re also having a lot of fun trying.”
“Gross,” you blanch before clinking your glasses together. “Cheers.”
“You’ll get used to it,” Charlie tells Bradley when he sets his glass down, shuddering at that burn of the whiskey.
“Hope so,” he laughs.
“Almost forgot,” Jake says, producing a cowboy hat from the chair beside him and handing it to Bradley. “Gotta have one of these if you’re gonna live in Texas.”
“Thanks,” Bradley smiles, putting it on and turning to you. “What do ya think?”
“You look good,” you reply before leaning in. “Might steal it later.”
“Oh yeah?” He asks as heat flashes in his eyes.
You bite your lip as you nod. You both have been so desperate for one another that you haven’t tried many positions yet, always so eager to get him inside you. But with Bradley taking the lead you were getting more comfortable and confident.
Taking him for a ride in nothing but his new hat sounds like a great idea.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Just as you’d expected, it’s like a reunion in the packed bar. Thankfully, you’re able to avoid a lot of the small talk when the music starts
Soon you’re feeling good; drinks are flowing and the band is playing songs everyone knows.
“I’m stealing Emma to pee!” Charlie yells to Bradley as she grabs your hand.
“Girls can’t pee alone,” you explain when he gives you both a puzzled look.
He looks to Jake who’s just as confused as he is but they just shrug before following you off the dance floor to head back to the table.
“Oh my gosh, Emma! Hi!”
“Hey Britt,” you say, turning around with a fake smile. “Go agreed, I’ll be there in a minute,” you tell a dancing Charlie.
You nod as the old frenemy prattles on, not letting you get a word in edgewise before she leaves you to find someone more interesting to talk to.
The men’s room door swings opens as you walk past and you bump into the person coming out
“Oops, sorr-“
“Hey Em,” the man interrupts and your blood runs at his voice.
“Chet,” you nod curtly as you move around him but he grabs your arm.
“Too good to say hi?” He says, pulling you close. Close enough to smell the whiskey on his breath.
He’s drunk, and he’s always been mean when he’s drunk.
“Yeah, Chet. I am. I’ve always been too good for you,” you spit, trying to pull your arm free.
But he’s stronger and he pushes you against the wall before crowding you against it.
“That’s rich,” he chuckles darkly, “weren’t good enough to keep our baby alive.”
Your eyes close as the weight of his words sink in. While it hurts, it doesn’t crush you like it would’ve in the past.
You’re healing.
Before you can respond, he’s on the ground, knocked out cold.
“Ow,” Charlie mutters with a grimace, shaking out the hand she just clocked Chet with.
“Holy shit, Char,” you gape at her.
“I’m sorry-he was in your face, and then he said that about you not-about the baby,” she stutters. “I just saw red. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. Don’t be sorry, he deserved it,” you say, holding your arm out for her to take while she steps over his snoring body. “Let’s go before he wakes up.”
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“Tabs paid?” You ask when you reach the table.
Jake nods.
“Okay good. ‘Cause we have to go. Like right now,” Charlie says, turning for the door.
“Everything okay?” Bradley asks as he follows them out.
“Uh…,” you stall until you get outside in the fresh air, feeling like you can finally breathe. “Yeah, we’re okay.”
“What happened in there? You look like you saw a ghost,” Jake asks, leaning against the bumper of his truck.
“I ran into a girl I knew from high school on the way and told Charlie to go ahead while we talked for a minute. I was headed to the bathroom and ran into Chet as he was coming out,” you sigh. “He’s drunk and he started saying stupid shit-“
“It was awful. He said she wasn’t good enough to keep the baby alive,” Charlie says quietly, tears heavy in her voice.
“Oh Em,” Bradley says, wrapping you in his arms.
“He’s fucking dead,” Jake growls, rising to head back in, but you stop him.
“I’m okay. I promise. I know it’s not my fault. He’s drunk and gets off on hurting me,” you say. “He’s gonna be the one hurting tomorrow though.”
“I dunno, I might too,” Charlie laughs, looking down at her hand. “It’s not broken but it’s gonna hurt for a few days.”
Jake rushes to her side to check her hand out. “What the fuck happened?”
“I came out of the bathroom and heard the horrible things he was saying…the next thing I knew he was on the ground,” Charlie explains, as if she can’t believe it either. “I’ve never punched anyone before. I must’ve gotten got lucky and hit him in just the right spot in the jaw.”
“Well, you did something right. He was out cold,” you say, leaving Bradley’s arms to hug her. “Thank you.”
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat, Em. I love you,” she murmurs.
“I love you too,” you reply with a sniffle.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“I’m sorry for tonight,” Bradley says on the way home after saying goodnight.
“Why are you sorry? It wasn’t your fault,” you reply.
“I know, I just feel bad that you had to see him and that he’s still trying to hurt you. I should’ve gone with you,” he sighs as he puts his hand on your knee.
“I’m glad you didn’t,” you say. “If you would’ve hit him, he would’ve pressed charges and you’d be in trouble. There’s no chance in hell he’s going to tell anyone he got knocked out by a woman; if he even remembers it in the morning,” you laugh. “I’m not gonna lie; what he said hurt. But it didn’t suffocate me like it would have in the past.”
You can tell he’s still beating himself up when he nods, so you reach over to pluck his hat off and place it on your head.
His lip quirks and his hand on your knee slides up your thigh. “Still wanna give me a ride tonight?”
“Mhmm,” you reply, placing your hand over his to guide him between your legs. Your head drops back with a sigh when he rubs over the seam of your jeans. “Been thinking about it all night.”
“Me too,” he admits. “Hell, I’ve been thinking about it since the last time we were there and you rode the bull.”
“When you hid to the bathroom ‘cause you got hard?” You tease breathily.
He nods, fingers still rubbing you through your pants. “You looked so good up there. Then the way you kissed me outside after? Fuck, I couldn’t think straight until I back to the hotel and finally jerked off in the shower.”
“God,” you sigh as you picture him. “That’s so hot.”
By the time he pulls into your driveway, you’re soaked.
Inside your bedroom, you help him out of his clothes first, nipping and sucking at the flesh you expose.
“W-wait,” He chokes, hands flying to your hair to pull you off when you suck on the head of his cock. “I’m too-I don’t wanna cum yet.”
You smile as you straighten up and gently push him onto the bed, keeping your eyes on his as you strip down to nothing but his hat.
You grab a condom and crawl over him, tipping the hat back to kiss him deeply, pulling back with a bite to his lip to tear open the condom.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” he breathes as he watches you put it on.
“So are you,” you murmur as you line him up to your entrance.
You mean it too as you look down at him laid out beneath you; skin flushed, chest heaving, desire in his eyes.
The sounds of your harmonized pleasure fill the room as you sink down on him.
“You’re so big,” you whimper when he bottoms out.
“Doing so good, sweetheart,” he praises, bringing his hand between your legs to circle your clit while you take a second to adjust, grunting when you clench around him.
“Keep-keep going, I’m close,” you gasp when you feel your orgasm approaching rapidly.
His free hand reaches up to pinch a nipple and that little bite of pain pushes you over the edge with a surprised cry.
“Fuckkkkk,” he groans desperately, trying not to thrust his hips up, “you’re squeezing me so tight.”
He’s still trembling with restraint when you come to.
You plant your hands on his shoulders and begin to move your hips; tentative at first but quickly growing confident.
“Feels so good,” you whimper before you lean down for a filthy kiss, murmuring against his lips. “You’re so good, Bradley.”
His eyes close and his hips stutter at your words; he likes being praised too.
You bite your lip to not smile as you tuck that information away to use later.
You’re getting close and you can tell he is too by his breathy sounds and the way his fingers on your clit are getting sloppy.
The hat falls off your head and is quickly forgotten as you lean down to kiss him while your fingers trace over his chest as you toe the edge.
When your fingers find his nipples and pinch without warning, he groans shamelessly against your lips, filling the condom.
A satisfied moan leaves you when his release triggers yours and to shiver at the overstimulated whimper he lets out as you contract around him.
He presses a kiss to your hair as you recover on his chest.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Not long after, you fall asleep to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat in the same position.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
A/N: Can you tell I hate Fords? 😂 Chet had it coming and I couldn’t resist letting Charlie bring the one to give it to him.
Also…I wrote the majority and edited this from 2 AM to 5 AM when I couldn’t sleep 🥴 so if something doesn’t make sense or there’s errors, let me know!
As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in comments/reblogs!
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jjngkook7 · 8 hours
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Choices (6)
Werewolf Au! Jungkook x Reader / Enemies to Lovers [Angst and mature content. Not smut but almost smut.]
Summary: Jungkook finally found her. His mate. His lifelong partner. But she’s a human. Does he have to stay with her or can he stick it to whatever and whoever binds mates together and make his own decision? ***THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE. I PROMISE I WON'T MAKE YOU WAIT THIS LONG AGAIN***
Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5
You rang in the new year with some coworkers. The night was a blur of lights, laughter and music. Despite being a lightweight, you didn’t get as drunk as you thought, in fact, you were barely tipsy. It was hard to have fun when your reality didn’t even feel real. You had all the ingredients to drink your heart out: you met who was supposed to be your soulmate, you find out that mythical creatures are real and your best friend in the whole world has been hiding all of this from you for a year. To add more salt to the wound, Jennie spent Christmas and New Years with the pack. Sad wasn’t quite the right word for how you felt, maybe confused or disoriented? You had been in a haze since the last time you saw everyone trying to figure out if the past weeks were real or not.
After Jungkook dropped you back off at the cabin, Namjoon decided that you should leave for your safety. Apparently having someone as unpredictable as Jungkook free from his chains while his mate was hanging out with other men was not a good idea even after you told Namjoon that Jungkook actually saved your life. Namjoon took you home that night and advised you to keep your distance for a while. He seemed sad when he dropped you off and truth be told, you were kind of sad too. You had a fondness for Namjoon because he was the one that made you feel sane and safe throughout this whole journey. You would miss your friendship with him and everyone else.
Your phone pinged, reeling you out of your thoughts. You thew it towards the edge of your bed when you saw that it was just one of those annoying marketing texts. Your eyes then glided towards the Christmas card on your nightstand as it did almost everyday; it was the one artifact you had proving that everything you went through was real. Everyone from the pack had signed the card, all except for one. You reached for the card and ran your fingertips over the glitter covered snowman on the front page. I wonder how he’s doing. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to explain how you felt. You felt like a fool, an actual idiot for still wondering about Jungkook’s wellbeing when he couldn’t even write his name on a stupid Christmas card for you-he probably laughed when Namjoon asked him to contribute. With one last read through of the card, you placed it under your bed and made never thinking about Jungkook again as your new year’s resolution.
__________________________________
Maybe because there was no one to talk to about your new year’s resolution in full but getting over Jungkook was pretty easy. You hadn’t spoken to anyone in the pack in over a month and the memories of them become less and less clear by the day. Was it Jin that helped you with your injuries or Yoongi? Was it Namjoon that drove you home or did Hoseok tag along also? And did you actually feel sparks when Jungkook touched you or was it just your imagination? Either way, it felt good to feel less crazy. It was only when you and Jennie hung out that everything would hit you like a freight train. Seeing her was bittersweet. You were so happy to spend time with your best friend despite your guys’ schedule but you couldn’t help this building of resentment in your chest at the same time. Anger and guilt gnawed at you so raw that replying to her texts took hours to do. Luckily, both of you were so busy with work that seeing each other was few and far between.
One thing you had a really hard time forgetting was the night you had to leave. After Jungkook asked you to wait, you sat by his side and watched him catch his breath. It was hard seeing someone in so much pain despite the lack of physical wounds. Once Jungkook seemed to have a grip on himself, he told you to sit as far away from him as possible while he sat on the other side of the cabin. You remembered feeling like you were naked under his red gaze, like he could see every single movement you made. Jungkook told you that it wasn’t safe for you to leave yet and that you had to wait for a little bit. Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook couldn’t have you leave just yet. A wolf in the midst of his heat finally meeting his mate after being kept away from them was like a ticking time bomb. Jungkook needed to engulf your scent and calm his mind before letting you go back to a cabin full of fully grown men. He was surprised that you complied and that you kept your composure. Sure, he noticed your trembling hands and shortness of breath but you kept calm and collected. Jungkook needed to direct his attention to something else-anything- and so the small talk began. It started off with what you did for work and ended with Jungkook shit talking his pack mates. When Jungkook felt sane enough, he insisted he carry you home to be safe. You remember flinching when a low growl escaped from Jungkook when you hooked your arms around his neck. You felt his body shake as you wrapped your legs around his waist. It took a minute before he was able to hoist you up and get going. You remembered him being gentle and asking if you were all right the whole way back to the cabin. You remembered him letting you down a couple meters in front of the cabin because Namjoon would’ve killed him if he saw Jungkook and you together.
“Are you going to be okay?” you asked.
Jungkook offered you a nod, his bright red eyes doing the soft smile on his face an injustice. Perhaps it was the darkness playing tricks on your eyesight but Jungkook looked bigger. His muscles were more toned, his hair was thicker and his overall aura was just larger. You felt embarrassed drooling over his physique like some school girl despite almost dying a couple hours ago. Namjoon’s voice from inside the cabin redirected your guys’ attention and you suddenly remembered that it was below freezing outside.
“I-I’m going to go inside now,” you reached out your hand to give Jungkook’s arm a reassuring squeeze but retracted remembering how much he ordered you to not touch him, “goodnight.”
To your surprise, Jungkook reached out instead and caressed your face with both his hands. You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch pathetically. Jungkook left out an exhale of both relief and frustration. Every ounce of control he had was quickly slipping through his fingers. He was teetering towards the edge of danger with you right now. You opened your eyes to see Jungkook watching you but not like he did before. Just a couple of hours ago, you felt like a prey under his gaze. This time, he was looking at you like how Taehyung looked at Jennie.
“Do me a favor?” he asked, his voice almost hoarse.
You nodded and scrunched your eyebrows. What could you possibly do for him? Jungkook felt his stomach drop knowing what he was going to ask of you. The warmth that happened when you guys touched intensified as Jungkook brought your body closer to his. He knew he only had a couple minutes to relish your touch before his heat and his reality would take over again.
“I need you to forget about this night,” he finally said. Although subtle, he felt your pressure lift from his hands. “I need you to forget about me, about my pack, about everything. Make it like I never even existed, and I’ll do the same. Trust me, it’s for the best.”
As cruel as his words already were, Jungkook then sealed it by pressing his lips against yours. You couldn’t help but gasp which, he happily swallowed. A surge of electricity pulsed through you as he deepened the kiss. The heat from his body immediately making you forget how cold it was. As gentle as he was, you remembered his body began to tremble and the slight sting against your bottom lip when his fangs unsheathed.
And that was all you wanted to remember. Perhaps you were a masochist. Of all the memories you chose to forget, you just couldn’t let go of this particular one; no one ever really completes their new year’s resolution anyways. You knew you would never get an answer but it didn’t matter anymore. Every time Jennie saw you, she'd try to ask about Jungkook but you would either change the subject or give her vague answers. You didn't want to know more than you already did.
“Goodnight, Sooyoung!” you chimed.
“Goodnight,” Sooyoung replied with a sympathetic smile, “you should leave soon.”
“I will!” you lied, “see you tomorrow morning.”
Sooyoung hovered by your desk for a few more seconds before heading towards the elevator. It was common for you to stay after work but not for this long. You waved at Sooyoung until the elevator doors finally closed. When you were certain that there was no one else in the office, you closed the document you were pretending to work on and slumped against your chair. A tired sigh left your mouth as you roughly ran your hands against your face. Just as you were accepting your new reality, the past week and a half had you re-questioning your sanity. Being at home recently felt eerie. You were constantly checking over your shoulder and hesitant to sleep with your bedroom door closed. The nightmares you were having didn’t help either. Night after night, you would see the same things in your dream: rogue wolves chasing you and a Jungkook bleeding out to top it off. You’d jolt awake in the middle of the night and could only fall back asleep after taking melatonin. With the nightmares being a daily occurrence, the melatonin had stopped taking effect and you were left trying to calm your racing heart on your own. To your disdain, the only place you felt safe was at work. Your office was high up on the 25th floor and security here was pretty strict. You concluded that your paranoia was from these nightmares but those moments when you felt like someone was watching you felt too real to blame on lack of sleep. You put your head down against your desk and stared at the time displayed on your computer. It was nearing 7:45 and you promised yourself that you’d leave at 8pm. As the minutes ticked by, you tried to come up with some sort of game plan to combat another inevitable sleepless night.
____________________________________
“Jungkook!” Taehyung shouted as he kicked over a half conscious rogue towards Jungkook.
Jungkook caught it mid air and slammed it down onto the ground before ripping its head off. With that being the last rogue, Jungkook and pack were able to finally catch their breath as they examined the graveyard of torn limbs by their feet.
“Where the fuck are they coming from?” Hoseok panted.
Namjoons eyes wavered as he studied the carcasses on the ground. He had no answer for Hoseok. Rogue wolves attack here and there but never had he seen such great numbers. Their appearance usually coincided with the phases of the moon but recently, their attacks had been random and in hoards. He did notice that they foolishly always went for Jungkook first. As strong as Jungkook was, he was not invincible. Namjoon had also taken note of how haggard and tired his pack was from fighting almost everyday. If they didn't find an answer anytime soon, he feared that he would lose a pack member.
Everyone turned their head towards the trees when they heard a branch snap. In the distance, Jungkook caught a flash of white teeth and familiar pitch black eyes.
“I got it!” Jungkook shouted, before running after the rogue.
He was fucking exhausted. He really hoped that this was the last one because he was losing strength and fast. These recent attacks only fuelled his anger because if he had mated with someone of his species, he would’ve tripled in strength by now.
A yelp emitted from the rogue when Jungkook finally caught up and grabbed its legs. Jungkook swung the rogue against a tree, breaking its ribs in the process. As the creature whimpered against the ground, Jungkook winced when he saw that it was laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Jungkook sneered, angry that it was still breathing.
The creature seemed to be mumbling a familiar word over and over again but Jungkook couldn’t figure out what it was saying. Another yelp came out from the rogue as Jungkook kicked its face in. He crouched down and grabbed the creature by its scruff.
“Speak up!” He demanded.
Despite his impressive experience fighting rogues, Jungkook still had a hard time getting used to the disturbing ways these creatures moved and laughed even though they were near death. This rogue had its jaw kicked in and its tongue was hanging out due to the lack of the bottom half of its face. The grip Jungkook had on it tightened when it continued mumbling. Just as he was about to lose his patience trying to unscramble the creatures jargon, Jungkook finally put together what it was mumbling. The rogue seemed to notice the shift in Jungkook’s eyes and laughed even louder.
“I bet she’d taste so good too.” were its last words before Jungkook ripped out its heart.
Jungkook had to get back to Namjoon and let him know what happened.
It was mumbling your name this whole time.
The living room was quiet as the pack tended to their wounds. Jin went around ensuring that everyone was treating their injuries correctly even if it was just a little scratch.
"You need to clean it." Jin sighed, looking at the deep cut on Jungkook's forearm. The cut was his own fault. As Jungkook was ripping the rogues heart out, his arm got caught in the creatures ribs and it carved his arm as he was pulling it out of its chest.
"Just leave it, Jin." Jungkook grumbled, swatting Jin's worried hands away.
Namjoon and Jin exchanged glances, both annoyed and worried about the youngest member but Namjoon didn't have time to adhere to Jungkook's attitude. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt but who knew when the rogues would come back to attack again.
"So," Yoongi said, sucking his teeth in the process, "anyone here knows what they want?"
Jungkook wanted to hear his members theories before jumping the gun because maybe the rogue was toying with Jungkook or maybe it wasn't even saying your name at all. The silence that followed confirmed Jungkook's fear. No matter what Jungkook did, he just couldn't seem to get away from you. All eyes were on Jungkook when he suddenly cursed.
"They're after her." Jungkook said, his fingers pinching his nose bridge.
"Who?" Jimin asked.
"His mate." Taehyung's grin only grew when Jungkook glared at him.
Amidst Jimin's surprise and the symphony of swear words thrown back and forth between the members, Namjoon felt his heart sink as a wave of deja vu hit him. The younger one failed to notice the sadness in the leaders eyes as he berated his pack mates who were teasing him with swear words.
"They're not after her," Namjoon finally spoke, breaking the fight, "Jungkook, they're after you and then her. They know that you'd go after them if they kill her before you mark her. They're after you first to get you out of the picture. As long as she's unmated, they're going to keep coming."
Namjoon felt a lump grow in his throat as realization washed over each member. All eyes slowly turned towards Jungkook who had his fists balled up. The pressure from his fists made his blood seep out from the cut on his forearm. Why did he have to deal with this? How come you were still intertwined with him despite being away for over a month? What did he have to fucking do to get rid of you for good?
"T-this could be different, Namjoon." Jungkook stammered, his mind moving too quick for his mouth to catch up.
"Jungkook listen to me," Namjoon said picking his words carefully as he approached Jungkook, "only you can stop this. We can't fend them off forever."
Jungkook grit his teeth and felt his breath labour. This wasn't fair. He didn't choose this and it seemed like life wasn't planning on giving him too many options either. Jungkook began to replay the conversation he had with Namjoon after he first discovered you. The blood from Jungkook's cut was now staining his pants as he remembered what Namjoon said about how strong humans were. What a fucking joke.
"I am stopping this! Who here in this room has killed more rogues than me? Huh? Who?!" Jungkook bursted.
Jungkook's brown eyes had now turned into a dark red shade.
"Killing them one will send ten. Killing ten will send a hundred. Killing a hundred will send a thousand. You have the responsibility to save her life," Namjoon argued tiredly, "look at your brothers. Look at you! We are not immortal, Jungkook."
Jungkook jumped up from his seat and grabbed his hair. His ears were now ringing. His responsibility?! He hadn't even marked you yet, why were you now his responsibility? He couldn't help but laugh aloud by how absurd everything and everyone was sounding. You had stolen what seemed like everything away from him-his freedom, his bodily functions and now even his morals. You kept taking from him and now you were his responsibility?
"Jungkook please," Jin pleaded, "can you please put your own ego aside and make a good choice for once in your life?"
Jungkook turned towards Jin and snarled, "Remind me who saved your fucking life just 20 minutes ago? If I hadn't ran to you in time, you would've been shredd-"
"Enough!" Namjoon yelled, "Whether you like it or not, her life is in your hand-"
"I will not be responsible for her death like you were for Irene!"
Within a second, Jungkook was slammed against the wall. His right cheek was throbbing and his nose bloodied. He wasn't sure if he had finished his sentence but the right hook from Namjoon answered that question for him. Before Jungkook could orient himself, Namjoon grabbed Jungkook by the neck and trapped him against the wall again.
"You will never utter her name in that context again do you understand?" Namjoon asked through gritted teeth.
Jungkook licked his lower lip, the taste of his own blood filling his mouth as he did.
"Do you understand?!" Namjoon bellowed, shaking Jungkook.
"Y-yes." Jungkook finally answered.
The older one finally let go but not without giving Jungkook one final shove.
"Have a better attitude tomorrow morning or you fend for yourself from now on." Namjoon threatened before disappearing into his study.
Jungkook kept his eyes on the floor as his members stood around staring at him. Jungkook could only count on one hand how many times he felt ashamed in life, he would now have to count on two hands after tonight. His members didn't say a word to him as they retreated back to their rooms one by one. Taehyung lingered for a little bit longer. He wanted to ring Jungkook out but decided to leave him to sulk all alone. Jungkook watched his blood drip from his nose onto his sweater. Would dying by some disgusting creatures be better than surrendering to fate? One thing was for sure, Jungkook would rather die with his brothers than alone. He turned his head towards the end of the hallway where Namjoon's study was. The searing pain from his broken nose was nothing compared to what he just said to Namjoon.
Namjoon had his head buried in his hands as Jungkook's words echoed in his mind. It had been years since Irene's death but it still pained him like it happened yesterday. He knew the younger one was speaking out of anger but if he only knew how much Namjoon did blame himself.
"You know, I couldn't even mourn her after she died. I think I finally did after three months." Namjoon spoke.
Jungkook figured it was probably the smell from all his blood that alerted Namjoon to his presence. He cautiously walked towards Namjoon and sat in front of him.
"Her death was the first out of the two times I ever regretted taking leadership of our pack." Namjoon continued, looking up to meet the younger ones sad gaze.
"And the second?" Jungkook asked, his voice barely audible.
"Tonight." Namjoon replied.
Jungkook let the uncomfortable silence engulf him. He stared at the picture of Irene resting on the bookshelf behind Namjoon and felt remorse like he had never before. Irene was Namjoon's mate. For years, Namjoon refused to mark her not because he didn't want to-because he did-but because he was afraid of bringing Irene in his world. He thought the best way to protect her was to keep her away. Jungkook had never seen someone love another person the way Namjoon loved Irene. He doted on her and gave her anything she ever wanted, everything except for one. Irene had begged and begged Namjoon to make her his official mate but he always rejected her advances. By the time Namjoon decided to turn a new leaf, it was too late. If Namjoon had marked her, he would've been stronger and maybe could've fought off the pack of rogues. That day, Jungkook and the pack were out hunting. When they came back, the cabin they had built had been ripped apart. The image of Namjoon carrying Irene's bloody body in his arms as he wept and called out her name was forever imprinted in Jungkook's brain. Namjoon's physical state was no better and if they hadn't returned when they did, they would've lost their leader too. Irene was one of the strongest people Jungkook knew. She was brave, unwavering and quick witted. Before Jin met Mina, it was Irene nursing everyone back to health after a fight and braving the forest to find medicine. Irene was strong and she was human.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean what I said and I shouldn't have said that," Jungkook apologized tearing his eyes away from Irene, "I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."
Namjoon smiled. Although brash and somewhat arrogant, Jungkook always meant well at the end of the day. He couldn't even count how many brawls Jungkook got into because someone slightly badmouthed a member of the pack.
"Please, your life will probably end in the next few minutes with the amount of blood you're losing. Just let me punch the other side of your face and we can call it even." Namjoon joked.
Jungkook scoffed and wiped his nose. He really was losing a lot of blood.
"Jungkook, I couldn't save Irene but you have a chance here. Learning to love someone...don't you think that's better than losing someone," Namjoon wanted to laugh when he saw Jungkook flinch at the word 'love', "and if you can't do it for her, do it for me. For Irene."
Jungkook swallowed the lump in his throat, "I-I don't know if I can mark her right away, you have to give me some time."
Namjoon nodded understandingly.
"But I promise," Jungkook sucked in a breath, "I'll protect her with my life."
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wordsbymae · 2 days
Text
Late One Stormy Night Pt. 2
This is a continuation, including a large time jump, of my original farmer storyline, the canon events if you will. I would have loved to do this for flower seller and mousy au, however I feel it fits much better for the original farmer. I may do one for the other aus as well. Also this is just a short little snippet into where this reader ends up, I have spoken in depth about their life together, but this is years down the track, where pumpkin has finally given in.
Triggers: Pregnancy! FemReader, Stockholm syndrome ofc, reader has pretty much been brainwashed into being a perfect house wife, if you didn't know the context or if I didn't remind you within the text, it would seem like a nice love story. feminism please do not judge me
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A kick against your belly halted your movements. A small smile etches across your face. You drop the washing you had just grab back into the basket that lay on the lush green ground beneath you. A gentle spring breeze floated past, bringing the scent of pine and grain past. The babe in your belly has only just started to move within you. You had yet to fully comprehend that life, a new being, was growing within you. Another kick, against both your belly and hand this time, brought a giggle to your face. The sound of tyres on dirt brought your attention to your husband pulling up in front of the house. Your giggle faded. You didn't like remembering the time before you were allowed in the house, the time you spent huddle within a stable in the barn. When you fought against his every action and offer of affection. Now, after finally putting your pride aside, you were happy. It took years, but you finally content by his side. It was so long ago know that you couldn't even really remember how you came across him. All your remember is rain, and that is all you could begin to remember before the memories fell apart like ash.
You begin to make your way to your husband, pushing aside the laundry drying along the washing line. The sun beamed down with kindness, bringing a subtle warmth across your skin.
You stopped a few metres away from him, watching as he jumped out of his pick up truck, a wide smile on his face at the sight of you.
"Well good afternoon to you pumpkin, how you feeling? That boy of mine not giving you trouble?" he greeted, turning to the tray of the truck, grabbing from it a large wooden log. He huffs as the weight of the log pushes against his shoulder.
"I'm feeling fine" you laugh, it was a game of yours to count how many times in one day he asked how you were feeling. This was his 10th ask of the day.
"We don't if its a boy yet. Could be a girl" you offer with a smirk. He was convinced it was a boy.
"Nope" he states as he walks towards the work shed, you follow behind him, begging for attention. Ever since the barn, you've been so desperate for affection.
"In the last five generations of my family, there hasn't been one girl born" he drops the log down in the dirt next to his wood working station. You pout, wondering how that is even possible and also wondering why he had a massive log to begin with.
"what's the log for?" you ask.
He turns back to you with a lazy smile, wiping sweat from his brow and he takes his hat off.
"A crib" he beams. Delight dancing in his eyes.
"Oh, that makes sense" you mutter. Your eyes begin to slowly blink in exhaustion. Carrying a baby isn't easy.
" Come on pumpkin, lets get you to bed" he drawls, grasping your hand with a gentle touch. So very different from how he used to touch you when you first arrived.
You nod lazily, still surprised with how quickly sleep comes to you these days.
"That boy of ours sure likes to cause trouble huh? He's gonna just be like his daddy, although I'm hoping he's gonna look like you sweetheart." he muses, a hand coming down to trace your belly as you walk.
The farmer smiles once more. Everything he ever wanted he has. A beautiful wife, the perfect family and more hopefuly to come after this one. He chides himself for the years spent alone, angry at the world and himself. That whole time he could have had this, a place within a family. But he wouldn't change anything, not the timing or the place. You came to him at the perfect time, you were everything he ever could have wanted and more.
He thanks himself for having the courage to take what he saw as his.
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silverflqmes · 2 days
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you are legit my favorite ffvii writer at the moment dude. if you feel like it, do you think you can write smth about being childhood friends w zack and reuniting with him one day? make sure to take care of yourself 💕 :)
໒⦂ 𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆.
notes. HELP YOU’RE SO SWEET ANON??? IWOWJDJDK i haven’t written as much yet and i still have lots to learn but that really warmed my heart to hear 🥹🥹🥹 i decided to combine this with another request, i hope that’s okay with you both!<3
genre. fluff + angst
disclaimer. tifa speaking on cloud can either be platonic or romantic — whatever you wanna think just don’t start up a whole ship war bc it’s embarrassing as hell. obviously this is a zack fic so focus on zack smh.
zack fair x gn!reader.
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“you’re.. leaving for SOLDIER?”
you shouldn’t be shocked, that was the last thing you should have been since you had been the one to encourage his decision.
and yet.. why did it hurt? you had known that it would, it was only naturally — but not like this.
zack averted his stare from the star blanketed sky, smiling solemnly. “sure am. you helped me realize that becoming a hero is something that i should do — that the world needed my kind of help.. so that’s,” he paused, allowing the evening breeze to shift his dark bangs. “exactly what i gotta do.”
you fell into silence for a moment, pursing your lips together as you considered his words.
it had been your crush’s dream from young, since seeing sephiroth on propaganda and hearing of his endeavors, to become a hero. the life he’d led in gongaga was wonderful, peaceful.. but you knew, deep down, he’d wanted to make that name for himself. that zack was.. meant for greater things.
and you, torn between your feelings for him and the need to encourage him as his best friend.. had no choice but to put aside what you felt to urge him to embrace his dreams.
when he received no answer, the raven haired teen took it as a sign to continue, leaning back on his elbows. “as of now, you’re the only one i’ve told about my decision — cuz well.. as you know, my parents aren’t super chill with it.” he laughed out, shaking his head. “so i’m gonna leave tomorrow night. got everything packed up already, a letter ready for them to pass on and i’ll be good to go!”
“tomorrow night? so soon?” you nearly interrogated him, only to respond with a slow nod. “you have my word, don’t worry about it.” should you tell on your friend? would that keep him just a little while longer if his parents knew and prevented his departure? would he hate you for it and finally give you a reason to stop feeling this way about him?
no.. you couldn’t live with yourself if he had hated you. that was practically death served on a silver platter, your heart would never start again if zack had expressed contempt for you.
for a second, longing flashed in his eyes before he allowed himself to grin, patting your back gently. “you’re amazing y/n!! i knew i could count on you no matter what! i’ll be sure to bring you something real nice from the big city!! and that’s a promise!”
a smile that didn’t quite meet your gaze etched itself onto your lips as you let out a hum of agreement. “you’re the amazing one, zack. i’ll..” miss you. “..be holding you to that promise, so you better keep it.”
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three years passed and no sign of zack. the promise stood, but remained unfulfilled.
you should have expected it, that becoming a SOLDIER meant never seeing him again. you knew he was alive, a letter would have come if he wasn’t, and his parents kept you posted thankfully.
yet, there was still an emptiness you felt in his absence. every year, you’d told yourself that perhaps maybe, he would come home to visit this time.
now, having turned eighteen, you had decided to leave the comfort of gongaga as zack once had, and journeyed to nibelheim — a village in the mountains. it was small, quaint as your hometown was, perhaps colder, but after being offered a job through your parents, it called to you.
your mother had been from nibelheim and met your father in midgar — who had left gongaga to pursue a career in research as she had.
despite their retirement, they had developed many connections.. one of which, had been in the mountain village.
when you pleaded to leave and join up with your friend in the city he’d left for, your parents had urged you not to, and were strict on it.. as though something had been terribly wrong there.
you’d never asked why they retired so early on, and just assumed they had wanted to settle since they’d made their money.
but it didn’t.. fully seem that way.
“didja hear y/n? there’s a group of SOLDIERS coming down here tonight. ahhh, i hope cloud is there — i haven’t seen him in years.” your companion and guide sighed out, pacing about idly as you jotted down notes on your observations of the terrain.
tifa had been a friend you’d made upon your arrival. she was a year younger, but a real go getter and great help on your expeditions. in the beginning you worried for her safety, stringing her along as you did — only for her to protect you from the perils you feared.
you’d have to ask if that mentor of hers was willing to show you a move or two on self defense.
“cloud, huh? is he in SOLDIER, too?” you had told the girl before you already about your old buddy, as there was no possible way of her exposing your feelings for him.
and honestly, it was comforting to confide in someone for a change.
she nodded eagerly at your question, smiling softly. “he should be, it was his dream to become a SOLDIER, like sephiroth — that’s what he told me one day before he left.. and he’d promised to always protect me, no matter what.”
your writing seemed to pause at her comment, head lowering as you willed yourself to chuckle despite your anguish. “is that so?” zack, as you recalled, had dreamt of the same. “well, i hope he comes home safe if he’s a part of that group.” you smiled a little, closing your notebook before standing up from your crouched position.
“that should be enough for today, thanks for coming along again — i think i’m almost there with reaching my conclusion on this strange increase in mako spillage on the landscape.. but i just- can’t seem to put my finger on it.” you muttered, knitting your brows together before casting a glance over at mt. nibel- the highest point of the area you had moved to. “whatever, they’re keeping in that reactor.. there’s something really off about it.”
the burgundy eyed female followed your gaze before humming absentmindedly. “yeah.. i’m hoping those guys coming today might know or at least clean up over there.. i’d hate to see what might happen if the pollution intensifies down here.” she answered softly, helping you up before looking ahead. “for now, let’s get back — it’s almost sundown.”
at the mention of the visitors on their way from midgar, your thoughts went to your old friend, but you reprimanded yourself quickly. you would not have hopes again — as they only ever existed to get shattered and turn into despair.
and yet.. that one percentage asking but what if, remained.
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the sun had drowned into billowing clouds, a shade of golden casting over the scenery as you walked beside your friend, exhaustion creeping up on you. however, you reminded yourself that the descent was always easier than the ascent.
“and we’re back, thank you for taking the tifa express way~” your travel partner giggled, earning a smile in return from you. she always had a way of brightening the mood with her optimism. kind of like.. nevermind.
the brunette looked around when she found the villagers gathered in the centre, adjusting her hat with a pout. “did we just miss them? i didn’t think we would be this late..”
you copied her actions, letting out a sound of contemplation. “maybe they turned in, midgar is a long way from here.. i’m sure they wanted to just take things easy for the night and start off fresh tomorrow.”
tifa paused for a minute to think before letting out a sigh and nodding. “i guess you have a point — tomorrow, then.” she smiled again, holding out her thumb. “i’m gonna be their guide, i’ll make sure of it!”
you rolled your eyes in amusement before nudging her with your elbow. “whatever helps you sleep at night, tifa.. i’ll catch you in the morning, in that case. i still gotta sort some things with information i picked up today.” a trip to that mako reactor and your research might at last be complete. perhaps.. you could convince the group in bringing you along- especially if your friend would be going.
it was the perfect in!
“mhm, see you in the morning, y/n! don’t be up all night doing that work of yours if you wanna wake up on time!”
with those parting words, followed by a wave, the female dressed in orange walked towards the direction of her home, eagerly greeting her father at the door before joining him inside.
your shoulders fell, a low exhale escaping your lips as you adjusted your backpack. and just like that, she was gone.
you made your way into the inn you’d been staying at for the time being, rubbing your eyes.
it was a temporary arrangement, given you hadn’t fully decided yet if you would be staying permanently in nibelheim. however, the living accommodations worked just fine.
you hadn’t thought yourself difficult to please, anyway. so long as you had the necessary essentials needed to live, all was well. that was what you’d learned growing up in gongaga.
entering the inn, you greeted the host before ascending the steps, pausing when you caught sight of a towering, silver haired.. male? unless a woman could stand at nearly seven feet.. and across from him, stood.. no — had your eyes deceived you?
“z-zack..?”
the conversation between the pair, whatever it had been about, came to a full stop as they turned to face you, shock painting on the face of the SOLDIER with the darker hair.
“y/n..??” he spoke up incredulously, blinking over at you as his jaw fell just slightly. “no way- what’re you doing here.. in nibelheim of all places? i thought you were-”
“in gongaga?” you asked with a small smile before shaking your head. “my parents found me work here, so i moved just a few months ago. never thought i’d see you here, before returning home, no less.”
zack could feel the coldness of your words, piercing through him like icicles tipped in poison. pissed was an understatement.
the taller behind him smiled awkwardly before moving towards his door, not wanting to be muddled into the affairs of his triend. “i believe you both have some catching up to do.. i will see you in the morning, zack.”
the boy in question parted his lips in protest, but the cat-eyed male was gone before he could do so. damn!
awkwardly, he turned to meet your awaiting stare, swallowing thickly.
“sorry, i’ve.. had a lot going on.” he confessed, lowering his head in shame. “i wanted to come home sooner — especially after making first class just recently- but things.. everything that has been going on as of late at shinra, it’s been really messed up.” zack confessed, clenching his fists at his side before letting out a glum chuckle. “and it just keeps getting weirder.. what were the odds i’d find you here of all places?”
you leaned against the window, folding your arms as you gazed out. “close to none. i guess it’s a thing of fate, maybe.” you offered, sliding your eyes back to his zircon ones. “seems my parents were right to not send me to the city with whatever ‘messed up things’ that happened.”
the SOLDIER nodded, allowing a brief silence to pass before smiling. “they probably were, yeah.. don’t think you would have liked midgar much, anyway. it’s all gross and industrial looking.. although!” he blurted suddenly, perking up as though he’d remembered something. “wait right here, i’ve got something i want to give you!”
you rose a brow at his random burst of energy, reminding you that despite the change in his appearance, the development he had gone through.. he was still your zack, and that wouldn’t change.
he disappeared into his room before you could answer, rummaging by the noises you’d made out, which had you shielding your mouth with your hand. “don’t get lost in there, now.”
“like i would!” he laughed before emerging from his quarters, holding out a messily wrapped box for you. “no matter where i went, i always kept this with me, thinking that maybe- just maybe, i would pass through our hometown and find you to hold up that promise i made to you. finally,” the spiky haired SOLDIER paused, grinning brightly. “i was able to fulfill it!”
you blinked in surprise, taking the package into your hand as you felt your face burn despite the coldness provided by the high altitudes of nibelheim. “you.. remembered?”
appalled, zack let out a gasp of offense. “remembered? how could i forget?? a promise is a promise, and i intended on keeping it!” he huffed out before raising his fists before him in excitement. “now come on, open it!!”
overcome with a sudden happiness, to know you hadn’t been forgotten despite the negative thoughts you’d created, you opened up his gift to you with earnest. a glimpse of green entered your vision as you quirked a curious brow. a plant? no.. zack wasn’t the type to keep plants.
finally removing the top completely, you stared down at the present before stifling a laugh into your forearm. “you- you got me a cactuar.. stuffed toy?” you spluttered in surprise.
of course he did — it was zack for goodness sake..
“sure did!! ya like it?? it looked authentic when i saw it in the window!” he answered proudly, placing his hands on his hips.
you continued laughing, unable to contain yourself as you held your stomach. “it’s so random- but that’s.. that’s just like you to get me!” you wiped a tear, allowing a smile nearly as bright as his, or perhaps- even brighter for a change, to replace your initial frown. “i love it a lot, but.. you wanna know what i love more?”
a mixture of interest and excitement sparked in his eyes as he inched closer, eager to hear. “what? what is it??”
having caught your breath, you closed your eyes, holding the plush close to your heart. “being here- reunited with you, again..”
like an invisible string, knots and tangles had appeared in the thread that connected you both. however, it wasn’t impossible to unravel and detangle that which connected you both, to allow an opportunity of reunion.
( even if it was the right place, but sadly.. the wrong time. )
notes. bittersweet open ending cuz well.. it’s nibelheim- anyway, i hope this was okay! i think my writing style kinda changed.. scary. oh well! the support these last few days have been much appreciated<3 tysm you guys, hearts out to you fr<3
↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask
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jqhotchner · 3 days
Text
stars
six
aaron holds his wife close to him. she’s only just got home and he missed the smell of her lilac shampoo. yn meant everything to him! losing haley sent him in a dark path for a long time. in the divorce and when she was killed. it broke him over and over again.
aaron never thought he’d have the willpower to move on from his first love. he thought she’d be his one and only. he accepted that, for awhile.
but in comes this most amazing, breathtaking, beautiful, smart, kind woman who instantly stole his heart!
yn and aaron met during one of his cases. it had been in new york city and it turned out fashion week just so happened to happen during the time they flew in new york for a case. it was a happy accident.
aaron liked to call it faith. normally he’d be the first one out of the hotel, heading straight to whatever precinct the team had to be for the case. he’d deal with the crappy coffee they had and get on with figuring out who the unsub could be.
that day was no different. this time though, he wanted to treat himself to better coffee. plus, he had been craving a dunkins donut for awhile.
when aaron arrived to dunkin donuts he sighs at the long line in the drive through. aaron decided to just go inside.
walking in he sighs as he stands in line. aaron soon hears commotion outside and sees that some people stopped a woman and asked for photos and autographs.
aaron ignores the commotion. he orders his drink and a few donuts, before he heads out. he gets a small glimpse of the woman before getting back in his car.
aaron didn’t really think too much of it. that is until he sees her again later that night. the team had solved the case, arresting the unsub and finding the woman he kidnapped, bringing her home safely. the team wanted to celebrate.
normally aaron would decline the offer to come along, wanting to get a good night sleep before jetting off the next morning. this time he accepted. he didn’t know why, but his inner voice told him he deserved to go out and have fun.
they went to a small club derek had found. he watched as his team danced, laughing at derek’s smooth moves.
aaron takes a sip of his beer before excusing himself to the restroom. once he finished his business he heads to the bar. aaron sees a woman looking very uncomfortable while a guy tries to flirt with her. she tries to be polite, giving him a smile. aaron could tell he wasn’t really getting the hint. she politely declines his advances. the man grabs her arm a little to aggressive for his liking. aaron frowns before walking over to them.
“everything okay?”
“yeah, it is! back up buddy!”
aaron puts his hands in the small of her back. the woman looks at him with pleading eyes. aaron recognizes her from earlier that day.
“i wasn’t asking you.”
“listen, i was having a discussion with the pretty lady here! why don’t you leave!”
aaron grabs his badge. the guy raised his hands before leaving.
“thank you!”
aaron hums. “yeah, any time.”
the woman smiles at him. “that a real badge or are you an actor?”
aaron gives her one of his signature small smiles. “it’s real. fbi.”
“oh? how long have you been an agent?”
aaron scoffs. “i don’t even remember. it’s been so long.”
“you look oddly familiar. have we met?”
“saw you at dunkins. you were signing autographs. im assuming you’re a celebrity?”
she laughs. “you don’t recognize me?”
aaron shakes his head. “mostly listen to the classics. i am quite old.” aaron states.
“you don’t look that old mister fbi agent! but, yeah, i am! im barely famous though. have like three albums out right now. it’s one reason why i can walk freely in the streets of new york without being spotted too much.”
“you can call me aaron.”
“aaron, huh? very suiting for an fbi agent. i like that. my names yn. i go by my middle name though in the industry, rihanna.”
aaron smiles. “what brings you here in new york?”
“i was invited to a few fashion shows. since im up and coming people want me everywhere. it’s been a busy week for me.” yn states.
“i understand. traveling a lot, yeah?”
“mhm. you travel?”
aaron nods. “yeah, all the time. im a profiler! my job consist being in different locations all the time.”
“profiler? you’re in the big leagues then, huh? i heard you gotta be crazy smart to be considered.”
aaron laughs. “something like that. it’s mostly got to do with reading people, places, and things, you know? just looking a little deeper than others would. like studying it more.”
“okay mister profiler, let’s see how good you are at your job. profile me.” yn smirks.
aaron smirks.
“just by standing next to you i can tell you’re an amazing artist. you write music from the heart and release it for the world to know who you are and what you’ve been through. you underestimate yourself. you don’t think you’re good enough which is why you call yourself low leveled, yet you’re already being invited to big events, which means you’re getting way more attention than you’ve ever imagined.”
yn left speechless. she didn’t know what else to do or say. yn just stood there before blinking rapidly. “wow, you’re good!”
“it’s just from the few things you’ve told me. nothing major.”
“who’s underestimating themselves now?” she smirks.
aaron chuckles.
the two continues to chat for a while. they lost track of time. soon enough emily comes to find aaron, letting him know she’s taking derek and spencer back to the hotel. both of them drunk off their ass.
aaron lets her know he’ll be right behind them.
“it was great talking to you, yn.” aaron smiles as he goes to walk away. “aaron, wait!”
aaron turns around. yn hands him a piece of paper. “please, call me. i enjoyed talking to you.”
aaron smiles. he places the paper in his pocket before waving. the rest was history.
he was smitten that very day and continued to be smitten about her. he felt like haley brought them together.
they were perfect. his perfect little star.
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thewriterghost · 1 day
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Lovely!!!! Would you write something about Bucky x reader/ friend who moved to another state for work? They used to be really close and talk a lot but as things go with life and distance they drifted a part a bit? But maybe from time to time she’ll think she’ll see him from behind or a side profile walking home at night and think of him and send him a “thinking of you / we should catch up! text not realizing that from time to time that who she saw was Bucky. He will check in on her and see how she’s doing in her new life
Hello!! I'm so sorry, this is so late 😭 between school and internship I hardly got any time to write. In fact, I wrote this at work lol, hopefully you like it! Let me know what you think!
Summary: You moved away from the compound because of school. It's been a lonely few months now. That's definitely the reason you think you're seeing Bucky from the corner of your eye every time you look around, right?
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An autumn breeze catches you off guard, right when you are leaving your school building for the day. It was warmer during the day, you think as you walk to your bus stop. It's a lonely time of day, an orange glow of sunlight illuminates the empty bus stop.
As you make it a point to crash every red or yellow leaf you see on your way without being too obvious, out of the corner of your eye you catch a glimpse of a familiar metallic glow. That same feeling you always get around him, the butterflies and the hippos come back to your stomach, making your heart beat a million times a moment. Your eyes snap towards it, but it disappears all too fast for you to spot, leaving you with disappointment and longing.
You miss him. You try not to, but it's not easy not talking to him everyday like you did before, not being able to hang out on 3 am when both of you are too stubborn to go to sleep, or not being able to just exist at the same place at the same time with various animals in your stomach (figuratively).
You grab your phone from your pocket and click on his name on your messaging app. You hand hovers over the text box for a while, until you decide to just write to him. It's not like you haven't been talking since you left, it's more like you didn't want to talk all too much because of how much you'd want to just drop everything and go to him. Still, you think, enough is enough.
"Hey, you busy?"
You wait for a moment, anxiously nibbling on your lower lip. It doesn't take him more than 60 seconds to write back.
"Nope. You?"
You write back, biting down a smile.
"Nope. Just got out of school, going home."
You can almost hear his grumble-ish answers through your phone. A message pops up.
"Isn't it late? I thought you got off at 4."
You must've told him your schedule, but your mind doesn't come up with a memory to support it. You shrug it off and type.
"Yeah, I had to make a presentation and I was the last one of the class so the professor just agreed to do it now rather than next week."
"Does that mean you're free next week?"
You can't help but smile brightly. Looks like you're not the only one missing the other.
"Does that mean you miss me?"
You can almost see his scoff. You giggle to yourself.
"Does that mean we can meet?" He answers. You jump at the opportunity almost too fast.
"Yeah, sure. When are you free?"
"Whenever you're free."
"You don't have a mission or anything?"
"I'll bail." His answer makes you laugh out loud, maybe the first sincere laugh since you've been here.
"If it's not going to be a trouble for you."
"It won't. When should I pick you up?"
You check your schedule on your mind. You would be free tomorrow afternoon.
"Tomorrow afternoon? 2-ish maybe?"
"Sounds good."
You contemplate on whether to write it or not, but then think why not and type.
"I missed you, you know." And you put the phone on your pocket, face starting to burn up.
Your phone buzz, and you get the phone out faster than light.
"I missed you too." Your eyes glance over the letters more than once, each time smiling even more, until you find yourself giggling to yourself at 6 pm on an empty bus stop.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Another text appears on your screen, leaving you happier that you've ever been since the last few months.
Next day goes too slow for your taste. You keep finding yourself shaking your knee up and down with anticipation.
You are out of the door when the clock hits 2 pm. As you arrive at the school gates you realize you haven't told him where to come. You pull out your phone to type, but stop at your tracks when you hear it.
"Hey."
Sitting on a black motorcycle, blue eyes and black jacket catches you off guard. A smile creeps on to your lips.
"Hey." You return the sentence as you find your feet and move towards him. He has a gentle smile as well, uncharacteristically for him as people would say, but not for you. You've seen him like this before. When you were up all night and baked not one, not two, but three batches of cookies together, you've seen that same smile everytime your eyes have met. Or that one time when it was raining too hard and you were too sick to go to mission, and he stayed to look after you, cuddling you since he can't get sick because of serum.
He takes your helmet from the back and after looking at you with that sweet smile of his for a moment, he puts it on for you, clipping it with delicate movements.
"Hop on." He instructs and you obey, hugging him from behind with a pair of red cheeks which thankfully can't be seen thanks to your helmet.
As he takes off, you don't bother to ask where to. After a brief 10-15 minutes, he stops in front of a small cafe near a park.
"Were you around here yesterday?" You ask, recalling the silver glimmer you saw yesterday evening.
"I was on a mission." He shrugs.
"Huh." You mumble. Seeing his puzzled look, you add. "I thought I saw you yesterday, after school. Right before I texted you, in fact."
"You must've missed me a lot." He smirks, opening the door to the cafe for you. Always a gentleman.
"Must've." You return the smile as you walk in.
As you both get your coffees and pastries, you decide to ignore the fact that he probably was here yesterday. In fact, he probably was around since you moved here. Watching out for you, worrying about you, missing you.
"What are you smiling about?" You come back to real life when he gently nudges your shoulder with his.
"Oh, nothing." You shake your head. "I was just thinking, we should meet more often. It's been too long."
"Yeah, agreed." He replies with a smile of his own. You don't realize the look in his eyes, confirming your theory.
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ptichiypepel · 2 days
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Modern!AU, Medical!AU, Hanahaki!AU in which reader throws up lilies and Steve is blissfully unaware. (12,7k)
Warnings: text may have unpleasant descriptions of diseas, talking about death and dying, angst, open final, unrequited love, ooc Nancy
Soundtrack: Dove Cameron - Bloodshot
Notes: Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's ability to feel disappear.
Interferons are a group of signaling proteins made and released by host cells in response to the presence of several viruses. In a typical scenario, a virus-infected cell will release interferons causing nearby cells to heighten their anti-viral defenses.
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Robin says that if you hadn’t been studying books like a swot at the age of eighteen, and hadn’t been obsessed with writing articles for scientific journals, then all this crap wouldn’t happend at all.
Well, the logic here is that you would have then done all sorts of wild things, that all teenagers do, and eventually calmed down. And since all of this did not happen, you are doing this now, at twenty-eight.
You may not agree with her about this, but your mouth is filled with flower petals, so you remain silent.
- You, fool, - the current Robin is not distinguished by empathy at all, because all the empathy that she was so proud of completely disappeared by the end of the internship. Healthy medical cynicism was formed by the third course, when future doctors began to drink regularly once a week. - What are you waiting for? You play with fire, I'm not gonna save your ass when it's too late.
You stretch your lips into a smile and put a cookie in your mouth, immediately coughing and covering your mouth with your hand.
You hoped that at least Robin would have some brain cells today and would bring normal food from home to duty.
You? You live alone and simply hate cooking, but Robin has a wife - and a bunch of other things. Brain, for example. Sometimes you envie her, but not very often.
Your night shifts rarely coincide, but if this happens, you certainly spend them together - fortunately, the surgical and microsurgical buildings are very close. One night in one building, the other in another, although personally Robin prefers hanging out in microsurgery with you. There are less problems here, because patients in the eye department need help at night much less often.
And now you both are sitting in your staff room, drinking tea and eating biscuits, and you start to curse, coughing and running out to return about five minutes later, examining some weird wet rag in your fingers.
When Robin realizes what it is, she feels sick to her stomach. They are already so big...
- They’re not daffodils, I’m betting my ass, - you say calmly and shake a wet flower in front of Robin's face. Well at least you washed it before showing. - These are some shitty rare lilies, I read about them. Pankratium or something like that.
- I hope it's not literally shitty? - Robin's still able to jock about it. Because - what else left?
- No. This one's from the mouth.
You put a flower on the table, and it gradually begins to dry out from the water and take on normal shape - sharp, long white petals gathered into a corolla, a thin and green stem, torn at the base.
And if earlier these were just seeds or individual parts of an inflorescence, now they are whole flowers, perhaps smaller than ordinary ones. But this, of course, is a matter of time.
When you first start coughing and notice some white petals in the sink, you want to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, - and you do.
At first you don't even understand where you could have become infected, but then, after analyzing it, you laugh louder, because only to you could happen such thing.
You know for sure that Billy, who has been in love with you for several years, had an operation - Robin told you about this as soon as she saw a quota for him in her colleague’s plans.
You felt immediate relief, even though you understood all the consequences - but it’s still better, than just dying ingloriously.
At least for ambitious Billy who wouldn't want to die from a disease caused by broken heart. Because Billy was too proud to let people know he has one in the first place.
Another thing is that you didn’t even suspect where a bouquet of flowers in a vase - withered hyacinths - appeared in your office one day from - at first you didn’t even pay attention, and when you did, it was too late.
They began to smell disgustingly sweet, and you went up to the table and for some reason touched them with your finger, immediately withdrawing your hand in disgust. Then you asked the nurse to throw them away, and a couple of weeks later you saw the first petal in the palm of your hand.
It was a funny greeting from Billy, with a deep meaning. And you, who had been in love for a long time and unrequitedly, but not with him, also began to vomit this rubbish and at first you didn't even tell anyone anything.
Either you didn’t take it seriously, or you couldn’t believe that fate had played such a cruel joke on you, but it doesn’t matter anymore - Rob found out about everything already when the petals turned into inflorescences, and your cough began to remind her of the need to do fluorography. That's what medical friends are for, to tell jokes about tuberculosis.
That's when you tell her - and even show, opening your hand with a heap of wet petals. For some reason, you never throw them away right away, carefully washing them of blood and examining them with true scientific interest, as if you were going to write a dissertation.
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You all meet in the first year of university, when you enter the same faculty of medicine and end up in the same group. You, Robin, Steve and Eddie for some time become a curse for the entire class and teachers, although you personally are more for the company than for joy - during these times, you really put an effort into your studies, write vigorously in all scientific journals and speak at every conference.
Everyone else of your friends wasn't bothered with studying, especially Steve who wanted to feel a free college life like they show in the movies. There begin parties in the dorm, absenteeism of classes and inevitable learning before the session - because well, you are doctors, you actually have to know how to treat people.
In the third course the teachers danced when Eddie decides to expel, because he understood that college is not for him and he wants to work as a mechanic in his ankle's garage.
Situation somehow immediately becomes calmer.
The rest of you rent an apartment not far from the university, saying goodbye to the dorm forever, and begin to live together: Steve after a big scandal with his parents funally starts to put an effort to his studies, but you, on the contrary, go crazy. You raise your head from your textbooks, look around and begin to realize how much you have missed.
For example, how incredibly smart and interesting it would be, in your fifth year at university, to fall head over heels for your fellow classmate, with whom you share a tiny two-room apartment and a can of cheap beer. 
"That would be fucking cool" you think and immediately begin to work in this direction, and soon enough you actually find yourself in love with Steve Harrington.
That’s why Robin says that if it weren’t for the textbooks, all this shit could have passed painlessly earlier and not destroy your life, but for you everything turns out differently, and you believe that you has the right for your own path. The path of the ninja. The path of the shinobi. The path of the stupid dumb ass idiot.
You are proud of your path and don't regret anything when boys in the university begin to look at you dreamily, and one of them, Billy, even confesses his love to you and gets sick with this viral crap, which was rare then - a couple of cases per hundred people. 
You fall in love with Steve, and you don't care that someone is vomiting flowers because of your disinterest.
You rightly believe that one cannot force a person to reciprocate feeling for someone to whom they cannot and/or does not want to do so. 
You joyfully rush through the soft clouds of inevitable friendzone, but fortunately, at first you have enough brains to do it in silence. Robin, of course, notices something, but Steve remains blissfully unaware that he has become the object of your sudden and growing love. Steve has other things to do - he finally finds a common language with his parents, also doctors in their thirtieth generation, he comes to his senses and dives headlong into science, discovering some - before unexplored - potential for this.
The three of you still lived together, sharing two rooms, and one day you realize that this is not a joke anymore.
You are madly in love with Steve, and now he’s with textbooks and different girls, you know. With one of them even for a very long time: Steve gets together with Nancy in his fifth year (ironically, at about the same time that you decide to fall in love with him) and remains for a long six years.
And at the moment when you and Robin are sitting in the microsurgery resident's office, working night shift, Steve is also with her - apparently on another vacation in Maldives or something like this. 
One can afford this if one's father is the head physician of one of the large hospitals - although it must be admitted, Steve never sought to enjoy such privileges. 
And his parents did not try to help him even while studying at the university. Later, however, his father did hired him to work, but not for his pretty eyes.
When the time comes to choose a specialization, Steve goes to oncology, Robin goes to surgery, and you - after long thinking decide on ophthalmology.
You confess everything to Steve right at the graduation, when it becomes clear that you will most likely either see each other less often or not see each other at all. At that graduation there was a lot of booze, easily accessible weed, a tiny apartment and a tinier balcony where you couldn’t even stand without touching your neighbor.
You are so drunk that you don't give a damn about anything.
You try to kiss him and he pushes you away. That's it.
You got terribly offended, of course, but you never stop loving him. Robs learns about this not even from you, but from Steve himself who, even when drunk, usually remembers everything down to the smallest detail - she finds out and advises you to stop being a fool. 
Laughter is laughter, but a few more years pass, and you begin to vomit daffodils, and it’s no longer funny.
- They’re not daffodils, you blind bitch, - you get angry and take another cookie. - This is a lily.
- Doesn't matter, - Robin rolls her eyes and tries not to show how much the situation worries her more and more. 
If a couple of years ago she considered your love for Steve to be a whim, now that you have inhaled Billy’s flowers and they have sprouted, it becomes clear that this is serious. The seeds simply wouldn't have sprouted out of whim.
– You need to take all the tests, x-rays and fluoroscopy. We need to do something about this. I don’t want to find a flowerbed instead of you one day.
You lean back in your chair and smile strangely. In the dim light of the nightly light of the resident's room the bruises under the eyes seem clearer, the lines of the cheekbones are sharper, - exactly an expressionist painting, especially since just five minutes ago you was fishing a full-fledged large flower out of your throat.
- You, Robs, should think about death easier with your job, - you say calmly. – In my operating room, you know, I have much less chance of encountering it. I can leave you without an eye, but in your room a person can end up being dead.
For some reason Robin shudders at this cynical calm. No, she really has a much simpler attitude towards death, because without this defensive reaction you won’t survive in this business: if you let all the pain and suffering pass through yourself, you can retire with a certificate from a psychiatric hospital. 
But now when she hears something like that from you - a closest friend, almost a sister even - in relation to your own life, it’s at least uncomfortable.
- Why don't you want to have a surgery? – Robin asks quietly once again, even if she knows what she will get in response. 
This is the game already - she asks this question over and over again, and you answers it every time in different ways.
- I’m just wondering how this will all end, - you chuckle, and Robin thinks that fucking daffodils have already sprouted in your brain. Oh sorry, lilies. - But, seriously, Robs. I just don't want it. So that later i will live like a hollow doll? Have you seen Billy? It's not even life. Besides, I always dreamed of dying beautifully, and could there be anything more beautiful than turning into a huge flowerbed?
This is the first time Robin hears this option. Such expression deserves applause. You should have became an actress. And if at the end of the performance no one gives you flowers, you can cough them up for yourself.
- Go through the examination so that you can at least understand the situation, - Robin makes one last attempt, but you are already looking at your phone and scrolling through the Instagram feed, not paying attention to her. - At least an x-ray.
- Did you masturbate recently? - you asks all of a sudden and Robin's confused.
- No?... - the answer sounds like an question.
- Then go fuck yourself, Robin.
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You wake up not from the alarm clock, but from an itch under your ribs that began to torment you in the evening. Having taken a couple of Suprastin pills, you went to bed and had vivid LSD dreams all night, only to collapse at five in the morning from painful scabies.
Lifting your T-shirt in front of the mirror, your discover a bright scarlet pulsating lump on the side of your stomach, just below your ribs, as if you had been stung by a Chernobyl hornet - it hurts and itches, and you simply hate this feeling.
And here you are thinking you just ate too much sweets the night before. You touch the abscess with the tip of your finger, and it itches even more - and as soon as you decides to scratch the skin with nails, the abscess bursts, flaring up with sharp pain, and pours blood onto your stomach along with disheveled white petals protruding from the wound.
- Fuck! - you yell, barely managing to pull off your white T-shirt and cover the wound with your palm. Blood still flows through your fingers, drops fall on the light carpet and laminate, you, groaning, go into the bathroom. - Fucking shit...
You carefully pull out the flower and throw it into the sink, deciding to deal with it later - right now you want to grab the phone and do something nasty. It’s simply impossible to deny yourself this, so you go to Steve’s Instagram and without greetings, in a very adult way, write to him in direct message a short “fucking son of a bitch.”
Of course, you don't receive an answer right away, but the main thing was to express the emotion: if it weren’t for Steve, you wouldn't be standing now in front of the mirror and wondering whether it was possible to cover the hole in your stomach with a band-aid or something else would come out of it again.
Lily, by the way, is gorgeous and neat - and much more larger than those that usually crawl out of the throat. You look at the bloody flower with morbid interest, wash it under the water and places it in a small vase next to the mirror in the bathroom. You still don't know why you do this, but sometimes you directly fight the desire to collect a bouquet for Steve and send it by mail. For this fucker to inhale and get sick. Although it’s unlikely that Steve is unrequitedly in love with someone.
- Listen, maybe I should write an article on this topic, - you say inspiredly, while Robin sits and fills some documents in her office. Your operating day ended, and you apparently came to eat Robin's lunch. - Everyone is romanticizing this shit. It’s like you’re coughing up petals, flowers appear in your ribs, in your lungs, on your wrists. So pretty and mysterious. But you, as a doctor, understand that seeds are distributed throughout the body, and in the intestines, for example, there is a very favorable environment for their germination.
- Babe, I’m not sure I want to know about this at all.
- But Robin! – you are indignant, rolling around the office on a chair and crossing your arms over your chest. – Little snotty girls dream of such beauty in their wet dreams, but no one tells them they will even shit flowers!
Robin puts down her pen and looks at you - and fights the urge to grab you by the scruff of the neck and drag you to the radiologist, then to the ENT specialist, and then to the psychotherapist. No, most likely, first of all, to the psychotherapist. You smile at all thirty-two, and only Robin could see the yearning frozen in your eyes.
- So you’re shitting daffodils, - she clarifies, just in case, - Like a princess.
- Lilies, - you nod. - Like a princess.
You refuse to take tests, because, according to you, you know perfectly well what is happening and at what stage you are.
For such a long period of time you are holding up amazingly well - at work, despite the fact that there are a lot of doctors around (even if they are all only ophthalmologists), no one suspects you are sick.
No one knows about this except Robin, who swears to be silent, and Eddie, and you threatened to squeeze out his eyes if he says a word. You are happy this way - you don't want an audience and a fuss around your condition.
And everything's fine, really. Sometimes thou the ribs hurt, as with neuralgia, and the eyeballs burst from pressure. Then you simply buy more painkillers, Baralgin in ampoules and vasodilating drops. Nothing to worry about... The end is perfectly clear.
A couple of weeks after that conversation, when Robin once again tries to convince you to take care of yourself, Steve, who has been missing for six months, appears and announces that he wants to gather their entire company and classmates. The assumption about the Maldives turns out to be incorrect, Steve tells Robin that he just returned from a scientific symposium in Germany and wants to share all sorts of news.
You are also invited, despite the fact that your correspondence continues to consist of a lonely “fucking son of a bitch” from which you concludes that Steve has forgotten about all the past awkwardness. Or he pretends to forget.
In the end after that graduation you saw each other enough times, and Steve acted normally. You work in the same hospital after all, so it is necessary to maintain adequate relationships - and apparently Steve succeeded in this better than you. In the end, it’s clear which one of you is calling names in the direct messages.
At first, you don't want to go, and Robin agrees, because this gathering definitely won’t make things better. Then you suddenly change your mind and get dress up for the party, despite the fact that Steve is gathering everyone at his house, which means Nancy will be there too.
- If he loved her, - you say with fake joyfulness, checking yourself in the mirror and straightening your black shirt, (because you can’t wear white, the stupid wound would show through. You cover it with a band-aid, it stings, and flowers still sometimes come out.), - He would have married her long ago. Axiom.
Outside you smoke two cigarettes in a row to calm down yourself, and Robin says it’s harmful in your case to smoke at all, but you burst into laughter, brightly, beautifully. It's funny indeed to advise not to smoke to a person who already has bushes instead of lungs. Or in what form do lilies usually bloom? In the bushes, right?
By the time you arrive, there are already a lot of people in the large, cozy apartment, and Steve meets you at the entrance - with a pack of cigarettes in his hand, because he was also apparently planning to go out to smoke. You meet his eyes, like in a shitty melodrama, and freeze.
And usually people say that the eyes of their beloved are pretty, bottomless, bright and all this shit, but you see them in different way. The position of the eyeball is correct, movements are full, free, eyelids are adjacent, eyelash growth is correct. The lacrimal apparatus is without any features, the conjunctiva is pale pink and clean.
- Hi, - Steve hugs you both and doesn’t notice with what morbid interest you are staring at him. - Come on in, guys, good to see you. Everyone is already here, we were waiting for you. Or you wanna smoke first?
You purses your lips and squeezes past Steve, and only God knows (and Robin, probably) how much effort it takes you not to look at Steve anymore and generally pretend that everything is fine.
Flowers react to their creator: throat tightens, and it becomes more difficult to breathe, head becomes heavy, and a grass taste rises up the throat, as if you were chewing hay half an hour ago, and now it wants back outside.
The company is just right, Nancy is beautiful and smiling, and for you the main goal of the evening become not to behave decently there, but at least not to suffocate, because as soon as Steve appears in sight, your body begins to prepare for mating dances.
- If you go throw up, don’t forget to clean up the flowers - Robin leans towards your ear and tugs on the leather necklace around your neck. - Or maybe don't. Who the hell knows, maybe if Steve will understand everything, you’ll at least talk about this?
An enraged look in response lets Robin know that you are not going to talk with Steve on this topic, although life has other plans this evening: during a general conversation Steve, hugging Nancy sitting next to him says, that he, as a part of a research group, began to develop non-surgical therapy for the flower virus.
Well, who would have thought.
You choke on your drink and look up at Steve for the first time this evening.
- Really? – The voice soaked with defiant causticity when you pretend to grin, while feeling as if you had swallowed a piece of ice. - How is it going?
Steve shines like a fucking garland, hugs his Nancy and really seems to think that he is busy with fucking important and useful work. No, maybe it really is important and useful, but you want to scream.
- We are at the initial stage, - Steve joyfully answers and spreads his hands wide, as if showing how ambitious the researchers’ plans are. It’s not like you, eye-healers, sitting there raking the specks out of people's eyes, or whatever you’re doing there. Oh, yes, you treat cataracts for old ladies. – It is necessary to understand what factors influence the fact that human interferon is not able to resist the virus. Animals do not get sick from it; experiments have shown this more than once. So there's a high chance of identifying antidotal substances sooner or later.
- Wow, cool, - you inertly clap you hands and get up, grabbing a pack of Marlboros. Why doesn’t such an apartment have a balcony, what a joke? - This is a very honorable thing. Keep me updated.
Steve seems to be saying something else, but you are no longer listening to him, going out onto the staircase, and Robin is generally surprised that you didn’t leave earlier. It was clear that your nerves were already on edge, and when the topic of the virus came up, that was it, the last straw and it became obvious that you couldn’t hold on any longer. But no, you even saved your face.
What a brave little girl.
Steve, however, after a minute goes after you, as if sensing something - or finally recognizing a liter of expressed poison in the sarcastic tone. You actually stand on the stairs and smoke, leaning on the railing, and look down at the opening between the floors, as if wondering if you can jump there. The problem is that you will most likely survive. Not an option. And it will be ugly too.
- What’s wrong with you? - Steve doesn’t put on a jacket, he goes out in just a T-shirt, striking a lighter. You hear his voice and grimace. - You sat there all evening like something got your panties in a twist.
You turn around and make an apologetic face innocently, mockingly, although you're shaking either from anger or from resentment (at Steve, at yourself, at the idiotic situation), and you try to hide your trembling hands in your pockets.
- And you're an expert on panties, right? - You hate yourself for this attitude, like a child in the kindergarten, but it’s difficult to control yourself because there is an increasing ache between your ribs, and it hurts so hard that you want to bend in half. You already got used to Ketorol, and the painkillers need to be changed. Fucking flowers, fucking painkillers, fucking Steve.
He opened his mouth to answer, but you finally bent over at the most inopportune moment, because you had been holding back all evening, you even persuaded Robin to give you baralgin in your vein so that there would be a block for at least a few hours - and now the block's over, and after it the attacks are always stronger. You cough exasperatedly, grabbing the railing, covering your mouth with your hand in horror, realizing that you can't stop flowers from coming out now.
Indeed the cough pushes another bloody flower into the palm of your hand, and you recoils from Steve rushing towards you - he turns pale, turns green (and he calls himself a doctor?), seeing the blood on your fingers, looks at you with genuine horror, while you are already quite indifferently walking towards the garbage can and throw away the flower.
You take paper napkins from your pocket and wipe your hands. All this in silence, without a single word, because what's the point of talking now anyway. And it’s unlikely that Steve, who recently started to explore this virus, won’t understand what happend. You don't have to be a researcher to understand what's going on here when a girl in front of you starts to cough a huge flower.
- Y/n, what the fuck is that? - you're amused because you have never heard such a tone from Steve. Scared, worried. - What the fuck is this? What the fuck is happening?
You even look at him with interest, wondering in what other variations you will hear this simple question. Steve's hands are shaking, like a heroin addict suffering from withdrawal symptoms, while he tries to shake one more cigarette out of his pack. Or an explanation of what's going on.
- Who is this, huh? – Steve whispers, while you send the bloody napkins after the flower into the garbage can. - Why don’t you...
− Who? – you don't know whether to laugh or cry, and therefore choose neutral and theatrically press your hands to your chest. Seriously, Steve is dumb even in this situation and can't put two and two together. – Are you serious, Steve? You should drink some glycine. Fish oil, or what other vitamins do we need to keep our head working? You need them, you want to invent a cure from this disease after all, yeah? As you already understood, I’m interested.
(You're not)
- Stop with this shit, - Steve clutches a cigarette in his teeth and, taking a step towards you grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you roughly, in order to somehow bring you to your senses. Although he's the one who needs to put himself together here - he is pale, eyes opened wide, his fingers are trembling, you feel it. - Fucking answer me!
And you are generally so happy all of a sudden that you look at Steve, bowing your head to the side like a bird, and don't feel shy anymore to openly glance over his face - there is slight stubble on his cheeks, his lips are bitten, chapped, his eyebrows are furrowed, eyes angry.
For you Steve is incredibly handsome, and this made it difficult to breathe even without flowers.
- Okay, since you insist so much, I’ll answer all of your questions, - you say and carefully disentangles yourself from his strong grip. - Who is it? You. Am I kidding? No. Has it started a long time ago? Yes. Why don't I have surgery? I don't want to. That's it. Can I go now, I have to get up early for work tomorrow?
Steve becomes numb, unable to utter a word, and you can be proud of yourself because you didn't start to cry and looked decent in this whole unfortunate situation.
- You’re joking, - Steve says helplessly.
You roll your eyes.
- Stop, I told you, I'm serious. And as you can see, all these years i haven’t said anything, and I wouldn’t have said anything further if I hadn’t gotten myself outed like an idiot today. Steve, let's not talk about this, shall we? Please.
You stop acting tough, like you don't care at all - you become serious, a little tired, you ask sincerely, and this completely drives Steve into a dead end. You go back to the flat to pick up your jacket, nod goodbye to all the friends and even Nancy, and then go down the stairs, waving to Steve.
He burns himself with the second cigarette in a row and swears under his breath.
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Steve can't sleep all night, and the next morning he immediately calls Robin, as soon as the acceptable time for this comes - he even doesn’t care that she is at work. He tries to bombard her with questions because he is sure that Robin knows everything - and he's right; he doesn’t hold back, he accuses and freaks out, like, what the hell, but Robs doesn’t appreciate his yelling.
- Don't, Steve - she says sternly, and this tone somehow makes Steve quiet. – I wouldn’t tell you anything, because I don’t have the right to do so. This is not my secret. And you know her as well as I do.  Once she has gotten something into her head, it is impossible to change her mind.  And yes, I’ve been fighting for six months now to get her to do surgery.
- Robin, let’s meet today, yeah? Fuck, I have to know everything, - Steve starts once again, and Robin has to agree. - I can’t do this, I can’t just leave it like that. I do care about her for fuck sake!
He tells Nancy some nonsense to get away from home for the whole day, because his chaotic thoughts are making his head swell. He meets Robin only at lunch, she promised to get out of the hospital, and Steve has a lot of time, which he spends sitting in a cafe and mindlessly studying your profile on Instagram. 
You post beautiful photos and selfies and Steve would never believe that this pretty girl, flawless on every photograph, covers up bruises under her eyes in the morning and picks flowers out of abscesses.
Steve has already written more than one article on this virus and doesn't romanticize it at all, and he can only wonder how do you manage to hide everything from everyone for such a long period of time? 
He opens the recent photo in your profile, you are looking at him, photographed against the background of a plain wall with lilies in hands. And Steve isn't sure you bought these flowers.
Conversation with Robin doesn’t make the situation better.
- Don't blame yourself, - says Robin, - It’s her decision, and it’s not your fault that this happened because of you. She didn’t blame herself at all while Billy walked around half-dead.
- But he had surgery, - Steve says quietly, and Robin nods. - What kind of... What kind of flowers are those anyway?
- Looks like daffodils. I don't know.
- Daffodils, - Steve smiles sadly, awkwardly, and this immediately makes Robin uncomfortable, as if she has inserted into someone else’s life without asking, even thou they both are her best friends. - It fits her.
And just like that, the puzzle comes together: strange behavior and name-calling in the Instagram direct message. This is you, and in general this explains a lot.
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Before the operating day you always go to bed early, because there can be two or ten operations, and even though most of them are trivial and quick, an attempt to screw up can cost someone an eye. On an operating day a clear head and a steady hand are especially needed, and you even allow yourself to take half of phenazepam in the evening in order to sleep better.
The fact that you will have to urgently call to work and ask to be replaced becomes clear in the very first second, when you, waking up in the middle of the night, can't open your eyes - a sharp pain radiates to your head, as if sharp blades had been shoved under the eyelids.
You growl through your teeth and roll out of bed, starting to rummage around in the bedside table - you have a bunch of different eye drops piled up there, and in order to even open your eyes normally and see what happened, you have to pour in a freezer. A quick examination in the mirror shows swollen eyelids, bright red sclera and bloody discharge - your fingers tremble when you pull back the lower eyelid and see several tiny white flowers there.
A perfect small copy. The anger takes over instantly and doesn't let go - you smash a vase in the bathroom and desperately scream.
You drip some useless antiviral to calm your soul, then add Broxinac. 
You even call your colleague and lie about viral conjunctivitis, after that you're running circles around the apartment and kicking chairs and armchairs. This is already a knife in the back. You wasn’t ready for such crap, even if you assumed that these fucking flowers would sooner or later come out of the eyes too.
To be honest you just hoped to die before this happened. You once again go to the bathroom, rake out tiny buds from under the eyelids, drip more anesthesia and go back to bed, turning off the phone. Today is your day off.
"And don’t fucking call me", you write to Steve on Instagram before falling asleep, and it’s not like Steve was gonna call.
When college ends and that graduation takes place, at which you, having interrupted Steve mid-sentence in a conversation on the balcony, lean forward and kiss him, freezing - Steve is so lost. It takes about ten seconds to realize what happened, and for all these ten seconds you study his lips with your own, and only then you recoil, pressing your palms to your chest.
Steve pushes you more out of confusion than out of anger; he doesn’t control his hands at all then - and it’s not like he’s very drunk. It’s you who usually gets wasted from one glass of wine, and Steve is more experienced, and he always remembers everything to the last detail.
You look at him helplessly and run out of the balcony and out of the apartment in general, before Steve can say a word.
Then you both try hard to pretend that nothing happened, and at some point Steve begins to think that it was just your incomprehensible joke. Now, when Steve remembers these white flowers, he belatedly realizes how stupid he was for thinking it was just a jock, he realizes his brain gave him a perfect excuse to not look any deeper into that event and most importantly he realizes you both needed to talk about it right after the kiss happend.
"Good job, Steve", he thinks gloomily and gives himself sarcastic applause. "Talking went well".
There were always a lot of people around Steve, and even if not all of them were friends, there were plenty of acquaintances. And they say, every friend is for something special - there is a friend to play football with them and watch the Champions League, there is a friend to go on a double date with the girls, there is a friend from whom you can copy homework when you didn't have time to do it. And you were a friend for soul, and Steve would be lying if he denied that you were his favorite friend.
You always lived in some kind of 4D world of your own, beautiful as unicorn's snot, complex and unusual, and therefore especially cool - and you were as cool as these unicorn's snot, which once upon a time helped Voldemort get back on his feet. You were helping Steve in the same way and sometimes didn’t even suspect it.
Steve could always come to you, lie down by your side and start whining about how he got rejected by yet another girl; you, without looking up from your textbook, were laughing and saying that the time would come, and some princess would definitely fall in love with him. Steve remembers that conversation now and grins - well, yes, you were right. The princess indeed fell in love with him.
Steve never hid the fact that he adores you from the tips of your fingers to your very fucked up jokes. Steve never had a problem admitting his admiration for anyone, and you were a perfect subject for this - Steve admired almost everything about you. Intelligence, thinking, an understanding of the world, puns that are stupid to the point of genius, the beaded handwriting, calligraphic, doesn't even look like a doctor’s handwriting at all.
Laughter, which Steve could listen to instead of a lullaby, and also bright soft eyes under long and fluffy eyelashes. Steve sincerely admired you and never considered it something more than a friendship. He laughed at your every phrase, waited with his mouth open for your stories and loved spending his free time with you. You were his favorite friend, and when it all ended like that, Steve felt empty.
No, he had already matured, and like a real big boy, he accepted the understanding that sometimes this happens - paths diverge, people come and go, but he didn't think, honestly didn’t think and was not ready, that you would leave his life just like that. You, whom he visited every damn evening before that fucking graduation, and lay next to you, talking non-stop about everything that was in his head and leaning towards the palm that stroked his hair.
You both were twenty-three, everything was so right and natural, and Steve never thought that it could be otherwise. Now you are twenty-eight, and he doesn’t know what he can do to fix anything.
To be honest, he is still ready to be the one to blame for everything, if only you would agree to accept his help.
You, as expected, don't answer his calls, although you appear online in almost all messengers - most likely, you either blocked him or simply ignore him, and Steve, after meeting his father in the main building, goes to microsurgery, deciding to wait until the end of the working day.
There's basically only an hour left, and Steve sits down on a bench along the alley, looking around furtively and lighting a cigarette - actually, he's not allowed to smoke here, but right now it's vital for him.
- Jonathan, hi, man, - he exhales a stream of smoke, waiting for Byers to pick up the phone. - Are you busy? I have to distract you. Tell me, are you working with those patients now? Regarding our research, I mean.
He met Byers back when they found themselves in a target research group for the development of non-surgical therapy, and immediately became friends. And if Steve doesn't deal with patients and operations, studying the theory, then Jonathan works directly with patients - judging by his reports, dozens of people with flowers in their bodies pass through his hands every month.
- Of course, Steve. Just had another surgery today. The woman with metastases. What's the question?
- Tell me, - Steve says slowly, – Are there any official mechanisms that force patients to undergo treatment?
Jonathan is silent for a long time, clearly seriously considering the question.
- No, dude. It’s the same as with any other disease, we can't force anyone to undergo treatment. You haven’t seen anyone with cancer or HIV being forced to do so, right? Many even refuse to do retroviral therapy. It’s the same here, - Byers rustles something in the background. - The only thing is that if it's teenagers, a psychologist can work with them and try to convince them. Why, you got a pubescent girl suffering from unrequited love?
Steve gloomily grimaces.
- A grown ass woman with a medical education.
- Oh, well, - Steve almost can see how Jonathan shrugs in surprise. - It seems like a choice, I'm afraid. The main thing is that if she will suddenly change her mind and want to undergo surgery, it will be very difficult in the last stages. Many doctors don't even agree to do it. But to fully understand the situation, I at least need to see the flowers.
Steve lowers his head, examining the cigarette pressed into the asphalt, and is silent for a long time, closing his eyes. There is very little time left before the end of the working day, and he needs to catch you before you see him and run away again.
- Well, hello, - Steve barely manages to grab you by the elbow as you rush down the alley and pull you towards himself so that you almost fall on top of him. You look angrily from under your brows and dark glasses. - Don't run away. Are you okay?
He notices that the sun is gone, it’s a gloomy autumn outside, it’s cold October, and dark glasses clearly seem unnecessary.
- Never been better, - you spit out and try to free yourself, but if Steve has grabbed onto something like a tick, then he can’t be torn off. - What do you want from me? I need to go home.
- And we’ll go, - Steve agrees and jingles his car keys. - Don’t worry.
Not paying attention to all the bickering, Steve puts you in the car, no longer even asks you to take off your glasses, because he understands that you're hiding something. You spend the entire way home in silence, and you generally turn away and look out the window, just not to look at him, who, on the contrary, does nothing but stare. You even snap and ask him to stop looking. It’s good that your eyes have gotten better today, although in between patients you ran to the toilet a couple of times to cry with flowers - you swore and watched as they, so tiny that they could be washed straight into the sink, stuck to the ceramics.
Steve follows you into the apartment without an invitation, although you silently try to push him out - in melodramas the characters make eye contact and freeze, but in reality you almost get into a fight just in case. Steve, having gotten angry, simply shoves you into the hallway and slams the door behind you both.
- Calm down, - he advises almost threateningly and points towards the bathroom. - Otherwise I’ll have to put you in the cold shower. Maybe you can at least make me some tea, idiot?
You look at him like a wolf and silently go to the kitchen, hit the button on the kettle, slam the cabinet doors, taking out tea and snacks. You loudly slam the refrigerator door, move chairs as if they were made of stone, put cups on the table, trying, as it feels, to break them. Steve trains breathing techniques and enters the kitchen already calm, catching you by the hand and forcing you to stop.
- Thank you, - he says softly, nodding at the cups with hot tea. It’s already October outside, it’s cold, and his fingers are numb. - Y/n, stop and listen to me. No, I said, listen, don’t try to interrupt me.
You immediately feel as if you are a teenage girl and you stand in front of the boy you like, looking at him with wide eyes, unable to say a word - only you are now standing in front of Steve, who has sat down on a chair and is holding your hands in his, not allowing you to escape. 
- I have a good friend who deals with these issues, - Steve begins and hurries to continue, because you are obviously starting to go furious. - Please, let’s just at least consider this option.
- Jesus, leave me alone, for God’s sake, -  you pull your hands away, but Steve catches them again, looking into your face - you are still so pretty. No, much more pretty than you were five years ago, your age incredibly suits you. Although Steve's not sure what is age and what is disease. - Shove your pity up your ass, Steve. I don't need it. And if you feel guilty, I will write in my will that you have nothing to do with it. I’ll write - "if you thought I was in love with Steve Harrington and it's all his fault, then no, I wasn't and it's not." Are you happy now?
Steve looks at you skeptically, and it is very clear what he thinks about this. You feel almost unbearable urge to slap him.
- You know what? Yeah, - Steve agrees unexpectedly easily. - This will be quite enough. The most important thing is that no one, God forbid, thinks that you were in love with me, otherwise everyone will think it's my fault you died. Be sure to write it, I beg you. I guess I can go now. I'm very glad you understood me.
And he gets up just like that, smiling and waving, only bowing is missing, and before you have time to react to his little show, Steve grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you like a kitten - he looks so angry, as if he could gnaw your throat with his teeth and not even choke. You involuntarily calm down and look helplessly, begin to cough meaningfully, because your breathing is short again, and your ribs begin to ache.
- Stop this fucked up shit, for fuck's sake, - Steve hisses, spitting out the words in your face in such way that you really want to run your palm over your skin and take them off. - Stop thinking I don’t give a fuck about you, that I don’t give a fuck about what's happening to you. Although I understand that it's so convenient. And so pleasant, right, fucking drama queen? Let me at least do something for you.
You smile, gesturing for Steve to move away, turn away and cough, bending over the sink - you immediately wash everything off, wipe your lips and drink a glass of water in one gulp to soothe your itchy throat. You wipe your hands for a long time, then look up at Steve - you finally took off your glasses, and he sees that your eyes were bloodshot and eyelids were swollen.
- What do you want? Or rather, what can you do?
- Something, - Steve answers and suddenly pulls you to him, hugs you, buries his nose in your hair, taking advantage of his height, and closes his eyes; you fall completely silent, feeling Steve pressing you tightly to himself, not giving you a single chance to escape. - Just at least don’t tell me to go away. I don’t care what you think about pity and about the fact that I feel guilty. I just miss you.
And you understand what Steve is talking about - you miss him, too, since the time that you didn't communicate normally, since the time Steve pushed you away on the balcony after a kiss, since the time you became strangers.
While Steve hugs you tightly and doesn’t let you go, the flowers don’t tear your chest from the inside so much.
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Robin unironically loves to come to microsurgery in her free time and sit in the corner of the examination room, watching you work.
In addition to the fact that patients of all ages - young and old (mostly male) sincerely consider you the most wonderful doctor in the world, you really do your job perfectly - despite the fact that you spent the last years of the university under the banner of a love-struck brain. Yes, even though you occupied both hemispheres of your brain with your love for Steve at that time, you, out of habit, didn't stop being a swot. It's just that Steve suddenly became one too.
Until the fourth year, to be honest, the words “symposium” and “Steve Harrington” simply couldn't be imagined in one sentence. Robin has suspicions that you played a significant role in Steve’s changes - you two literally spent all the time together at that time.
Robin squeezes past a line of patients jostling with plump cards with medical histories, and sits down on a tiny chair in the corner - you, standing in the pose of a thinker next to another granny, don’t even notice her.
- Sweetie, I can’t see the last line very well...
- Missis... - you look at the patient card, habitually adjusting the glasses on your nose. - Johnson, please! I've never seen the last line in my life. And I’m not even eighty-three yers old. Don't anger God!
- Doctor, I don’t sleep well at night, - complains another woman.
- I can offer you to work one shift at the hospital with me, - you write down the assignment on the card and hand it to her. - Go to the treatment room.
You are tired of explaining that in microsurgery you don't treat insomnia at all.
− Drip three times a day by the hour according to this scheme. What? What if you mess up the order? Well, I don't know. Perhaps then this will be the last time we see each other. Or rather the last time you see me.
- Yes, two weeks of injections! Yes, imagine, they are also made into the eyes. How? With a needle, obviously, what's so shocking?
- Yes, it might hurt. What did you want to hear from me? That it doesn't hurt? So that you will get disappointed in me later?
Robin, honestly, wouldn’t want to get to you for treatment, but loves to observe how you treat others - the sympathy and compassion in you is at the level zero, of course, and this attitude has the right to exist, because otherwise you will lose your mind.
Robin waits for the end of the reception time, doesn't refuse herself the pleasure of sitting in the procedure, while you make all the injections - confident and accurately, the hand won't flinch, even if the World War lll starts right now.
Robin gets chills when she watches all this: she's a surgeon, saw a lot of messed up things in her life, but eye operations - thank you, but no, thank you. Robin is capable of everything except contemplation of the process of ophthalmic operations.
The working hours end, and you both return to the examination room, because you complain about the bright light, and in there it is always dim. Today you came to work early, caught the boy from the diagnostics and asked to do an optical tomography for you - you had to pay for the his silence, and not only with a charming smile.
As you expected, the flower shoots caused retinal detachment.
You sit on a chair against the wall, lowering your shoulders, and throw back your head, resting the back of it against the wall - your throat moves heavily and unevenly under your skin. Now, in the dim light of the observation room, Robin sees how much you have changed in recent months.
The skin seems to have thinned, become completely grey, the veins are translucent, and they are so dark. The eyelashes cast almost sepulchral shadows on the cheekbones, and the sleeve of the pullover under the robe rode up, revealing a tightly bandaged wrist. Robin reaches out and takes it, examining - even through the dense layers of fabric the relief of the growing stems is visible.
- Rob, - you suddenly begin to speak, and Robin involuntarily leans forward to not lose a single quiet word. Probably, for once, you stop performing comedy on your improvised stage in a one-person theater.
- You love too, I know. You love Vicky. But I also know that this is a different love.
You don’t pull out your hand - the sprouts that are growing under the skin are tightly bandaged, and Robin isn't able to touch them. The more layers, the safer.
- I have different kind of love for him. You know, when I got a job here, one of the first patients I came across was a difficult one, a young girl. I didn’t cure her, it was a difficult case, but the situation somehow got better, under control. And she’s been coming to me to check her eyes for three years now — every single week. She's scared and at the slightest thing she comes straight to me for check up.
You smile, chuckle, and close your eyes.
- I’m not angry with her - it’s hard not to be afraid when you already have only one eye left. And then recently she started coming every other day, we treated her allergies. And she, apparently, is worried that she’s bothering me, and she apologized for this yesterday, and then she says so, fake cheerfully, “Doctor, I’m your cross, accept me as it is.”
Robin feels like she's about to cry. Every person has their own drama.
- And I accept it, - you say and smile - your throat, scratched from the inside, aches, and the words sound barely audible. - Just like I accept this love for Steve. I often get angry about this, I often think it would be better if I had never fallen in love, I often straight up hate him because I'm already so tired of being sick. I mean, I’m just really fucking tired of it, no bullshit. But I love this love because it makes me me.
You rub your tired, reddened eyes, reach for the shelf with medicines to drop more ophthalmoferon.
- I never thought I was capable of this. To feel like this, to love like this. That's what it's like. That's what Taylor Swift sang about. That's why they lost their minds and fought the wars.
What Taylor Swift sings about love is the last thing Robin thinks about when her friend is choking on the lilies.
- The good thing about the situation is that it gives you a choice, - you say, putting your hand on Robin’s shoulder, squeezing your fingers, encouraging. You support her as if it shouldn’t be the other way around. - And I chose. Chose to be myself.
And you don’t look unhappy at all now, except that same yearning is frozen in your eyes, but you have gotten used to that too. It is there fused with the iris with adhesions and vessels, it has made its way under the edges of the retina with green stems.
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- Steve, I understand that you’re nervous, but that won’t make me shit you a magical pill, - Jonathan is obviously annoyed, and Steve can hear it even over the phone. - Your screams don’t help much with our work, you know. You are a member of the group just like me, and you know no more no less, than me.
Steve sighs heavily and looks out of the window to check the road - you have a day off today, but you don't answer his calls, and this makes him nervous.
Nancy, of course, grimaced when Steve, instead of spending the day with her, got into the car and rushed to "some friend".
Her wording made Steve so pissed that he chose not to continue the conversation.
- Fuck, I’m sorry, dude, - he said reluctantly. - It’s just that I’m here with my family for a couple of months anyway, I won’t be able fly to Germany now, so I feel like I’m missing out on everything.
And it seems that the last thing he means by saying this is working on therapy.
- There are no other options now, - Jonathan repeats for the hundredth time, and Steve stops the car at your house. - Either surgery, or you know. No one has yet come up with a better interferon than reciprocity.
"And sometimes it seems there will be no other cure at all" - the words hang unspoken in the air.
You open the door after Steve ringed the bell three times, disheveled, sleepy and desperately yawning - and stare at pissed Steve as he squeezes into the apartment.
- I'm not even gonna ask what the fuck, y/n.
- I was sleeping, - you answer, and then your face lights up with understaning. - What, did you think I died? In your dreams!
Steve barely restrains himself from shaking you angerly by the shoulders, but to see you smiling like this means to forgive everything in the world, including Steve's fucked-up nerves. Since that evening, you see each other, if not every day, then often enough for Steve to understand what is happening to you, and even though his observations don’t exactly please him, the relationship between you becomes almost the same as before.
During these long and short meetings, you stubbornly don't say anything about your condition, although Steve has enough experience to understand for himself how serious everything is - you ignore all questions. And even now, having scared the crap out of Steve, you quite calmly go to prepare breakfast. Steve, sitting on a chair, watches you incessantly, and you eventually can't stand it.
- What, are you eating yourself alive now?
- I am, - agrees Steve, shrugging his shoulders, - Are you?
- I’m not, - you answer and, turning around, suddenly extend your hand to Steve, and when he takes it, you come closer and look seriously, as if cutting him open with your eyes. - Steve, no one is to blame for this. Everything is fair. I didn't want to fall in love with you, but i did it anyway. And you didn’t want to hurt me, but you did it anyway. It’s not your fault that I fell in love with you, and it’s not my fault that I don’t want to turn into a plant after the operation.
Fuck, what a pun.
- I regret I didn’t have enough brain to talk to you back then, - Steve freezes when you very carefully touch his eyelids, slightly faded light eyelashes, and the thin skin under his eyes with your fingertips. - Maybe something would have turned out differently.
- No, - you simply answer. - It wouldn’t have. I'm a fatalist, Steve. It is what it is. There is a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them. By the way, your eyelid is inflamed, might be the stye.
Steve is completely lost for a second, and then he laughs loudly, honestly, throwing his head back - as only he can; and you smile too, even if you don’t understand what he finds so funny.
- You’re still the same, - he says, laughing. - The most unexpected person on Earth.
Steve is fooling around as if you both are twenty-two again, you are not throwing up huge lilies, and you two are just skipping physical education to prepare for microbiology. No one kissed anyone, no one pushed anyone away, no one abandoned anyone; no one loved anyone...
Steve interferes you with doing breakfast, steals muffins from the refrigerator and smears himself with them, stuffing his mouth full and constantly getting in your way - you curse, drop the spatula, kick him out of the kitchen, to which you receive only laughter in response. And you can't help but smile, forgetting about everything that ultimately brought you two closer again. It’s just that Steve is here now, and you feel a little bit better.
Steve looks at you, catches every smile and every gesture - and thinks that since then, his feels towards you hasn't changed at all. This is the same honest admiration for you - from your smile to your fingertips - absolutely everything you say and do;
- I missed you so fucking much, - he whispers and doesn’t even understand why he’s pulling you closer to him, but he doesn’t even think about holding back. - Shhh, don’t twitch, I’m just sniffing the hair. It smells nice.
Yeah, like fucking lilies.
You let yourself go, allowing yourself to forget about everything - and reach out to Steve, without resisting your desires, emotions, your cross; the flowers inside open up, rustling with huge white petals, filling your chest - it feels like flower smell comes from your lips instead of breathing. And for once it doesn't hurt.
You talk about everything and nothing again, like before, drink tea and you, sitting on the window sill of the balcony, press your shoulder close to Steve, not because it’s cold, but because you want to.
Steve laughs at every joke you say, typically a doctor's ones. You laugh because he does, rest your forehead on his shoulder, and your shoulders shake with laughter.
Steve hugs them with one hand, squeezes his fingers on your waist.
- We can have sex, if you want? - Steve either goes all in or is a complete idiot.
You feel so good right now that you don’t even think about these words and motives, and there’s a smile in your eyes when you playfully bite your lip - you have nothing to lose. A biblical garden blooms inside you, and your mouth in the morning is not filled with oral sex, but with huge snow-white buds.
- Not now, - you laugh, throwing back your head and exposing your neck, and it should be kissed all over, bitten, licked along every veins, and Steve thinks he’s going crazy. - It will be the most fucked up moment in my life if flowers will come out of my pussy.
It’s like Steve is twenty-two again, and he is crazy about you – from your fingertips to the stupidest of jokes.
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When Steve has to fly away for two weeks, his insides clench with irrational panic, and he calms himself only by thinking that they have a trial radiotherapy test scheduled. He first demands, then asks and - in the end - begs you not to ignore his calls and messages, and in the end simply asks Robin to be in touch with him.
She is still trying to resist that it's your right not to answer if you don't want to, but Steve starts yelling. And when Steve yells, any arguments stop working.
However, you answer him every day, and Steve holds his breath every time he sends a message.
"How are you?"
In each such question there is more honesty than in the mile-long messages that Nancy demands from him. Steve grinds his teeth, aggressively typing answers for her, while he checks his WhatsApp every minute and doesn’t see himself from the outside when he gets another selfie from you from work - your crooked grin against the backdrop of some bloody post-operative rags. His face cracks with a smile so much that Jonathan pushes him on the shoulder - put yourself together, dude.
Only now, having found you in his life again, Steve realizes how much he missed you. And he can't believe that all this is happening to you two, this whole stupid fairy tale; and if you hadn’t covered your mouth with your palms in an attempt to hold back the flowers bursting out, risking suffocation, Steve would have laughed.
He would have laughed that this is not about you, that it’s not happening to both of you, that you’re kidding, there are no fucking daffodils.
- Lilies! - you bark into the phone when Steve, having mixed up time zones, calls you in the middle of the night. - Is it really that hard to remember?
As long as you answer him, everything is fine, and Steve tries not to think that one day you may not answer not because you try to piss him off by ignoring him.
After one of the working days, you come to Robin’s department and say you took a sick leave - and conceal the fact that you had an attack today right during the patient check up, and you barely managed to give an injection with trembling fingers, almost piercing the patient’s cornea. Robin understands everything without words, because you continually scratch your itchy wrists and wheeze with a hoarse throat. You can't put patients at risk.
But you take pen and paper and write your love story in the article “Pathological changes in the retina of the eye in the extreme stages of the flower virus.” And every now and then you begin to take an article to Robin for editing, because you are also a graphomaniac - if inspiration suddenly comes, you write non-stop, but are too lazy to re-read it.
You again plunge into science headlong, describing yourself from the reflection in the mirror and white sheets of paper with the results of ultrasound, biomicroscopy and optical tomography - there tiny green stems make their way through the tissue. You smile, looking at the studies, trying to understand the techniques of possible operations that you, of course, won't make on yourself. This takes up almost all of your free time, and you come to Robin with a heap of papers and a burning gaze, as if you weren't the one getting paler every day - and sleeping less and less, because you were choking with an annoying cough.
- Y/n, - Steve calls again in the middle of the night, but you are not sleeping. You smile, watching Steve almost poke his nose on the screen, trying to take a closer look at you. - Y/n, radiotherapy gives the first results on infected cells.
You don’t even listen to him - yes, of course, all of this is very important, but not for a person who already has more flowers in her body than blood, who almost has flowers instead of blood flowing through her veins. It's autumn outside, cold November, and you think this is the most suitable month to turn into a biblical garden in your bed.
- Steve, - you whisper, interrupting, don’t listen to Steve’s explanation. - Steve, will you come back soon?
He falls silent, looking at the screen strangely - as if he wants to reach out, to touch, but the fucking technology will not let do that soon, if ever. Steve would give any money in the world right now just to teleport to your room in one second. He chuckles silently, thinking what a fool he was for wasting so much time.
Although how would he have understood anything, if you hadn’t been taken away from him now, torn from his hands?
- Soon, - he answers quietly. - I'll be back soon.
- I'll be waiting.
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Steve fights with Nancy, when in the heat of the moment she shouts something about you and "his stupid friends" - Steve is shaking with anger, and it’s easier to just hastily grab his jacket and get out. He just had arrived and there was already a scandal - and especially on the topic of you, the mention of which makes Steve see red.
Steve doesn’t understand what is happening to him, but desperately doesn’t want to admit it's all because of guilt. Steve can't get enough of you, he wants to eat you, drink you, consume you until he faints, everything’s not enough for him, what has a fucking guilt to do with it?
It was always like this with you.
You are his favorite friend, and your condition is now more important than Nancy's tantrums.
On the threshold Steve silently grabs you in his arms, hugging you tightly, almost until your ribs crack – you wheeze and utter a strangled "Steve, let me go, I'm gonna throw up flowers on you”, flutters weakly and bury your nose into his neck, tickling it with light breath.
- Throw up, - Steve agrees, finally smiling as only he can: wide, infectious, sincere - this smile warms you to the point of burns. - From head to toe, I don't care.
Steve feels such relief seeing you again, even if he feels with his hands almost every protruding bone of your body - now, it seems, you can be broken with any careless gesture. Steve doesn’t explain anything, silently hands you a huge bouquet of multi-colored socks and sits down on an ottoman in the hallway, showing anticipation with all his appearance.
- Sorry, I decided not to buy flowers, you already have plenty of 'em. Now get dressed. Let's go for a walk.
Steve watches you pull on a huge sweater, pants torn at the knees, and spend a long time spinning in front of the mirror. Then you hide in the bathroom, swallow some pills and come out, almost up to your ears in a scarf. Steve distantly thinks that you are still somehow incredibly pretty - even with those dark shadows under your eyes.
Steve puts you in the car in the front seat, chats incessantly, doesn't explain where you are going - he only stops by for coffee for you two.
Steve himself doesn’t know where he’s going, just wants to get some distraction, out of town, to breathe in the fresh evening air, because you keep opening the window to take a deep breath. You are suffocating, even if you try not to show it, and your eyes itch, they itch so much, you want to take them out and insert new ones.
- I have a guitar there, in the trunk, - Steve says suddenly, when you drive a couple of miles from the city. - Come on. Like at the university?
- You still remember how to play? - you snort, looking at him funny.
- Muscle memory.
And Steve really still knows how to play. You leave the highway along the edge of some field that goes down to a small river. Steve takes out a guitar and a blanket for you from the trunk, and both of you sit down on a fallen tree.
Steve plays a very simple melody, and you finish your coffee and wrap yourself in a blanket like a caterpillar - just about to turn into a butterfly. You can finally breathe easier: either with help of the evening air away from the city, or with Steve very close to you, shoulder to shoulder.
At the university you all loved to spend the evenings before exams like this - with a guitar and cider; that time there were no white doctor's coats, operating gloves, fucking flowers and broken hearts. Robin is smart, Robin is a surgeon, she says there are no broken hearts, there can be all sorts of pathologies, defects and insufficiencies, but not cracks, and you must understand this - you are also a doctor after all.
- I’m an eye doctor, this is different, - you say out loud to your thoughts - completely by accident. - Microsurgeon. Which means I might have broken heart.
Steve looks up at you, never ceasing to pluck the strings with his fingers.
- Robin says so, - you explain. - Like, you can’t have a broken heart, it’s all nonsense, you are a doctor! And I assert there can’t be hearts in the eyes, because it’s fucking impossible. In the eyes only the sclera, cornea, iris and pupil are visible - and the limbus, if you look closely. But a broken heart is different.
Steve’s fingers, trembling, break from the string, and the sound turns out so thin, hysterical, it freezes in the air, like unspoken words. You argue as if not noticing him, as if you're generally alone in the world - a lone actress on stage, the amphitheater is empty. You say something, but Steve doesn’t hear you, all the sounds are in the background around him, ordinary and insignificant - the only important thing is that Steve focuses his gaze on you, on your slightly chapped lips, saying something and for the first time formalizes your thoughts into desire.
Steve reaches out to you over the guitar, his fingers slip again almost to the scratches, and he catches your lips with his own - an awkward, desperate kiss, as if miles separate you, and not just one old guitar. Your lips are dry, and your eyes are wide open - the guitar cracks somewhere under your elbow, the old wood breaks, and you both somehow awkwardly fall on top of it and each other.
And then Steve kisses you more slowly, more consciously, holding your chin with his fingers - it seems to you that every second stretches into eternity, and in each of these eternities you are ready to die, turning into a blooming garden.
Or into a flowerbed.
- Too bad the guitar got broken, - Steve's quiet voice is heard near your ear, and a smile can be discerned in this voice. - But that’s not the most important thing, is it?
You close your heavy eyelids, squeeze his fingers in yours, and this gesture contains everything: longing, stupid one-sided love, gratitude, reluctance to let go and reluctance to leave - for the first time ever and only for a second.
You will never regret your choice, because you chose to be yourself.
- The most important thing is that, - you whisper barely audible.
we are free.
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You love November, because in this month everything around freezes - the world itself, sounds disappear, as if in a vacuum, and everything around dies in order to be born again. No, it’s not like you believe in reincarnation and life after death, you are a doctor after all and this has long left an indelible imprint on your understanding of reality. But a broken heart won’t heal itself, and there can’t be hearts in the eyes, because that’s fucking impossible.
A broken heart is something else.
- Robin, we live in a world where people throw up flowers out of love, what realism are you talking about! - you shout, flapping your arms like wings, and this movement causes leaves to fall from a yellow oak branch. You shouldn't have gone out for lunch.
Every morning you wake up from lack of oxygen, hanging over the edge of the bed and coughing up huge white lilies. The irises against the background of bloodshot eyes seem a thousand times brighter and crazier, and tears no longer moisturize - they, too, now always contain tiny petals and seeds.
It’s November outside, every breath feels like a cut of the knife, and a better interferon than love has not yet been invented. And it would at least be fine - if any love.
And your love stands opposite you, wrapped in a stupid puffy jacket, and strokes your sunken cheeks, with his palms.
- Y/n, how are you?
- Bad, - you answer for the first time in all this time, and your lips barely obey. You cling to Steve’s hands with your fingers, stiff from the cold, hide your palms in his pockets and sighs quietly, holding back annoying cough.
– Did you see the crow? - you suddenly say, looking somewhere over his shoulder. – Crows are amazing. If I were a crow, I would also find some cool lighting fixtures on nine-story buildings and sit there like they do.
Steve thinks that in your head there is not just different world, but several universes exist and collide with each other, exploding and mixing, in order to eventually come up with bullshit about the crow.
Steve doesn't think when he pulls you towards him and kisses you, feeling the flowery taste of small smooth petals on his tongue as he catches them with his lips.
- Steve, - you whisper hoarsely, but no longer push him away. - Flowers.
Steve so doesn’t care that he just smiles strangely and strokes the thin skin under the lower eyelids, where the shadows are so big and dark that they like the night can cover entire cities.
- Y/n, - he says, and it’s already the end of November. - Just wait for me, okay?
And you will wait.
At least as long as you can.
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