Tumgik
#it's bc i'm usually answering stuff in the 'in between' moments of my day when i still have a lot on my plate
randxmthxughts · 10 months
Text
Chosen by Eywa - Crossing the Bridge - Chapter 4
← chapter 3 | chapter 5 →
contains: arranged marriage, mentions of war and grief, angst, one-sided enemies to lovers, slow burn
wc: 4.2k
chosen by eywa masterlist | general avatar masterlist
Tumblr media
a/n: i know i haven't updated in two weeks, but it was only due to the circumstances. like i promised, i will have another chapter out during the week, bc i'm so happy that i got my visa and went to my concert, so stay stuned, babies. i hope you still like this series and will keep reading T.T
Tumblr media
It was awkward. The way Neteyam stood in front of the tent, hesitating to walk in to avoid drawing the attention of the other healers. Awkward, how he had to shift his weight from one foot to the other every few minutes because everyone, except her, had caught sight of the future Olo'eyktan at some point. And it took Kiri to finally shove her so forcefully to look up from her task, that Y/N almost fell face first onto the ground.
The whole intention of spending time together away from the High Camp was to avoid the attention and the murmurs of the villagers about them. More importantly, to avoid running into Kaye and his new mate. But the moment their ikrans touched down in the forest, far away from the prying eyes, the pressure of performing got replaced with an uncomfortable tension. And neither Y/N nor Neteyam knew how to close that gap between them. How come weaving mats in a healing tent seemed to be easier and less stressful than taking a stroll in the lush forest of Pandora?
“Say something, show her the real Neteyam,” Neteyam muttered to himself, trailing awkwardly behind Y/N.
She, immersed in her own thoughts, walked ahead without a clear direction, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her loincloth. Neteyam desperately tried searching for an opening to deliver, and took a few larger strides not to fall behind too far.
“So… how was your day?” he finally mustered the courage to ask.
Y/N paused in her tracks, glancing back at him with a small frown, as if she couldn’t quite make out the words he said. Neteyam stopped walking too, waiting for a response.
“The usual. Lessons,” her voice lacked any enthusiasm that could have encouraged him to go on. 
“Good,” Neteyam nodded, trying to offer something else in return, “I’ve had training today.”
“How was it?” 
“The usual,” he repeated Y/N’s words with an ironic snicker, recalling his morning, “It’s either getting beaten up by your fake opponents, or by the actual bad guys. Today was the pretend one.”
He shrugged to complete his explanation, something that he had borrowed from his brother whenever he made a joke, as if to give his words a humorous meaning. And though they were quite ghastly, it coaxed a small chuckle out of Y/N. Neteyam’s ears twitched at the sound with a flicker of delightful surprise. He made her smile.
“Well, you look alright for someone who got beaten up,” Y/N gestured at his woundless body, her canines peeking out.
“I’d have to turn that compliment down, since I didn’t get beaten up today,” Neteyam smirked, “You should have seen the other guy.”
“Oh, is that so? That’s always the case with you?”
“No, I get beaten up too sometimes… though not as often,” he shrugged again, this time releasing the pressure of performing, as he admitted to a vulnerability that most warriors wouldn’t, “And even when I do, I don’t worry about that stuff.”
“Why not?” Y/N’s ears perked up in curiosity.
“Well, let’s see…” Neteyam bit back a smile, pretending to be thinking about his answer, “I have a grandmother for Tsahik, my mother used to be the tsakarem, now my sister is a tsakarem,” he paused, hesitating to add, “And my destined mate is training under the guidance of the Tsahik. So, I think I’m in good hands.”
“Right,” Y/N snorted at the comment, and for a moment Neteyam thought that he might have crossed the line his father kept telling him about, but once she turned away from him to continue walking, he noticed a ghost of a smile on her lips, and that was enough of a confirmation to send his heart into a rapid beat.
Neteyam wasn’t even sure why the reaction made him suddenly giddy but it felt like a small victory he could showcase, if his family expresses any interest in his progress with Y/N. And as he continued to trail behind her, though they mostly remained in silence, the atmosphere seemed to ease.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
“It’s okay, Y/N, let’s switch,” Kiri’s tight grip on Y/N’s arm brought her back into reality.
Y/N stood awkwardly a few steps away from the two warriors in front of her - one, who looked at her with guilt but still some lingering warmth in his eyes, and the other - who studied her earnestly, looking for any signs of discomfort, as if he could make them vanish. Kiri, who was only a moment ago treating her brother, was quick to read the situation and attempted her best to resolve it. Everything just unraveled so fast, the way the group of warriors stumbled into the tent for the first time in days, seemingly wounded after an encounter with the sky people. 
Since they were practically regulars at the tent, each warrior was used to being treated by the same one or two healers, and everyone found their places right away. Kiri too, without a second thought, was immediately grabbing her older brother and getting to work. Which left Y/N standing in front of Kaye, according to the unspoken habit that had developed over the past months. Kaye had a gash across his chest that needed close inspection, but Y/N couldn’t really move, as if her feet were suddenly glued to the ground, weighed down. 
Neteyam, of course, watched the scene unravel before him, but he couldn’t do much but just contain himself from making a bigger deal out of it for the whole tent to see. His eyes darted around the room, searching for his grandmother, who perhaps could help Kaye instead, but Mo’at was already busy with placing stitches on another warrior’s thigh, and it would take a while before she would be free.
“It’s alright, I can wait for somebody else to -” Kaye cleared his throat, raising his palms in the air, as if to prevent the switch up, but Kiri simply ignored him, already nudging Y/N to the side.
“That looks bad, you need to take care of it,” Neteyam gestured at Kaye’s chest with much discontent, as if acknowledging the truth made him cringe.
Defeated, Kaye stopped disagreeing, the sting of the wound was only getting more painful when he spoke, and to be quite honest, he couldn’t wait. Y/N’s expression remained stone cold, as she watched Kiri lead Kaye to the other side of the tent. Neteyam pressed his lips into a thin line, watching them two, his irritation finally starting to seep away, the farther they got. He was almost caught off guard, when he felt a pair of cold hands against his skin.
Y/N silently kneeled in front of him, starting to treat the small scraps over his arms and shoulders. Her expression was unwavering, as if nothing had happened, and he wondered what she was really thinking about. Was this the first time she saw Kaye after their fight?
“Stop staring,” Y/N mumbled, without looking up at him, while her hands still worked their healing magic.
Neteyam shook his head to deny her request, and continued to watch her every move intently. Irritated, she hooked a finger under his chin and forcefully turned his head to the side, so that he was met with the tent wall. He chuckled weakly at the gesture but kept the new position.
“You can take a breather, you know? I’m not dying, I can wait,” he suggested.
Y/N paused to stare at the side of his face for a moment, giving him a false sense of actually contemplating his offer. Of course, she was going to turn it down, there was no way she could’ve just walked out of the tent. The scolding she’d get from Mo’at wasn’t worth it.
“I can’t,” Y/N pretended to be unbothered, her hands continuing to work over his forearm, where a few smaller cuts were in need of a soothing balm.
“Why not? I won’t mind,” Neteyam turned his face again to look at her. 
“Because I can’t leave my destined mate unattended, can I?” Y/N's voice dripped with irony, and she couldn't resist stealing a quick glance at him, searching for a reaction.
Neteyam's frown deepened, caught off guard by the repetition of his own words. Was that a bad slip? Maybe she took what he said in a way where Neteyam only valued Y/N for her skills, rather than her as a person. Disappointed with himself, he shook his head and then gently covered her hands with his own, halting their movements.
"Y/N, I didn't mean it that way," Neteyam's voice was low, and he waited patiently for her to meet his gaze before continuing, "This... it doesn't matter. I was just kidding. Go on, and take a breather if you need one."
“I know, Neteyam, I was only teasing,” the corners of her mouth twitched in amusement.
For a fleeting moment, Y/N allowed herself to forget that the love of her life was sitting and watching her from across the room. It felt exhilarating to indulge in the playful banter, teasing Neteyam and pretending that they were a blissful couple, free from the weight of their responsibilities.
“You’re teasing,” he breathed out with relief, “Oh… good.”
“Yes,” she rolled her eyes, “And obviously I can’t just take a break right now. Your grandmother will kill me.”
As Y/N returned to tending his scrapes and cuts, Neteyam bit his cheek, thinking for a moment. A sudden surge of courage coursed through him, and he made a decision, quickly standing up and pulling her gently to her feet. His hand found hers, and the movement surely caught the attention of those around them but Neteyam only shrugged, his eyes on Y/N. She was confused, and she couldn't help but glance nervously at Kaye, who had been watching the whole interaction with unease. 
“Let’s go,” Neteyam’s thick-accented voice grabbed her attention once more, and without waiting for an answer, he was already walking out of the tent, leading her by the hand with him.
Y/N had little time to react, on the way out, her eyes caught a sight of Mo’at, who shook her head at the interruption and returned back to her task.
“Neteyam,” Y/N hissed embarrassed, but his grip on her, though gentle, remained unmoving.
“My grandmother won’t kill you, if I’m coming with you,” he explained, without even glancing back at her.
“You’re coming with me? Where?” Y/N’s nose scrunched up in confusion.
“Wherever you want.”
Neteyam was never one to protest the rules. Lo’ak liked to tease him about it and call him a “goody-two-shoes,” but Neteyam was too focused on excelling rather than getting offended by his brother’s weak insults. But he also never had enough motivation to disobey. Breaking the rules only brought trouble, and after careful consideration, Neteyam had never deemed it worthwhile. But here, now, as he led Y/N away from her responsibilities to offer her a moment of peace, he decided that it was for a good reason. That it wouldn’t matter if his grandmother got mad at them and he would take the blame anyway, since he initiated it. But if it meant that she didn’t have to keep working while her past lover gawked at her, then maybe it was worth it.
When they were finally away from the tent, Y/N stood right in front of him, their hands still intertwined. Despite trying to stare down at his much bigger frame with disapproval, there were traces of gratitude in her eyes. Her tail swished with excitement, thinking of how great it felt to abandon her day’s duties and just be left alone.
"Thank you," she whispered, her voice carrying an earnest tone.
"No need to thank me," Neteyam squeezed her hand, "My mother always reminds me that those who care of others also deserve care in return. I tend to forget it at times, but she's right."
He tugged at her hand once more, his gaze already wandering off to somewhere else. Without hesitation, Y/N willingly trailed behind him along the narrow path that meandered through the Hallelujah Mountains. Neteyam's grasp on her hand remained firm all throughout, neither of them sure if it was to guide her safely or simply to reassure her with his presence.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Walks with Neteyam had shifted from being an obligation to somewhat of an entertainment. They still didn’t speak much, finding peace in the quiet companionship, as they wandered through the forest, away from the eyes of the clan. In those moments, Y/N stopped feeling the pressure of pretending to be happy about her impending union with the future chief, while Neteyam was happy to reconnect with the forest. Since the relocation of the clan to the Hallelujah Mountains, his time in the forest was limited to missions or overseeing his siblings, never to revisiting his past and his roots.
And while to Y/N, this relationship had evolved into a strong foundation for friendship, Neteyam struggled with his growing protectiveness over her. It felt like she might crumble if he wasn't there to watch over, and the mere mention of her past could be her breaking point. These thoughts consumed Neteyam's restless mind, keeping him awake at night. Alongside with them, his frustration towards Kaye and the lack of respect, fueled his anger, as he delivered another forceful hit to his pretend opponent. Was it genuine protectiveness he harbored for Y/N, or was it simply his frustration with Kaye's behavior? Neteyam felt like a hypocrite. 
The future chief groaned in frustration, delivering another calculated strike, disarming his opponent, Kaye. But his anger and irritation were blinding, making Neteyam lose his focus, not necessarily in his movements but within the depths of his mind. He couldn’t stop the attacks. 
Kaye fell into his parents’ trap and mated with a woman of their choosing. Yet, he seemed content with their decision and he had no trouble leaving Y/N behind. Did he ever even love her, or was he simply leading her on all that time? Either way, Kaye had moved on, and Neteyam had to be the one who watched Y/N try to deal with the fact.
Another powerful shove, and Neteyam swiftly toppled his opponent, sending him sprawling onto his back. His spear was aimed threateningly, directly at the vulnerable spot beneath Kaye's throat. Kaye’s eyes widened in fear, as for a fleeting moment, it seemed like Neteyam might not stop. He immediately lowered his ears in a gesture of submission to the future Olo’eyktan.
“Neteyam, that’s enough,” Jake's voice cut through, jolting Neteyam back to reality.
With an almost aggressive shake of a head, as if trying to force away the nagging thoughts, Neteyam took a step back and lowered his spear. The fight was clearly over and he was the winner, but it barely even felt like a victory.
Neteyam exchanged a look with his father, who was confused with his son’s behavior. To Jake, Neteyam was one of his best warriors, always in control of his emotions and precise with his movements, and it was rare that he got to witness him being overtaken with anger. With a loud sigh, Neteyam still complied with the unspoken rule within the camp and extended his hand to his opponent to pull him to his feet.
Oblivious to the fact that the fight was twice as violent because Neteyam had developed a personal vendetta against him, or perhaps he only chose to be ignorant of it, Kaye offered a small, appreciative smile in response to the extended hand, accepting the help. He dusted off his back and thighs, and before Neteyam could sign a goodbye and leave, Kaye quickly moved to stand in his way.
“I need to talk to Y/N,” he announced, forcing Neteyam to stop in his tracks, “You must see her, right?”
Neteyam clenched his jaw, struggling to contain the anger that still hasn’t died down from the fight. Just when he started to get the things moving for himself and Y/N, just when it seemed like Kaye wouldn’t hurt her anymore, he was suddenly wanting to talk to her? She wouldn’t hide if she wanted to see Kaye, would she?
“I think it’s safe to say that she doesn’t want to talk to you,” Neteyam’s voice trembled slightly, “If I were you, I would have kept my distance. Just like you've grown accustomed to doing over the years.”
“Ouch, I guess I deserved that,” Kaye winced at the comment, “Listen, I am truly sorry for the way things turned out but I never meant to hurt her. I just want to apologize.”
Neteyam simply shook his head, indicating that the explanation fell short of convincing him. If Kaye wanted to speak to Y/N, it would only be on her terms, Neteyam certainly wasn’t going to take part in helping him.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Y/N sat in front of the healing tent in silence, the small wrinkle in between her eyebrows was turning deeper within each passing minute. She was annoyed with Neteyam, who didn’t show up, but mostly she was annoyed with herself for still being there and waiting for him. Her lesson had ended long ago, their usual routine of going for a walk right after was simply abandoned, and Neteyam was nowhere to be found. She knew that he came home a few hours ago, when she heard the shouts of the warriors, and some even came in for a check-up at the tent. So, if he was safe, it puzzled her why he hadn't come. Did he seize an opportunity and forget to warn her not to wait? 
She shouldn’t be annoyed though. Wasn’t this exactly what she wished for? To spend less time with him, to be left alone. But it didn’t feel like a win at all, just a let-down. The times when Kaye would sometimes stand her up floated her mind with insecurity. Though it didn’t happen often, she got hurt deeply every time. No amount of apologies from Kaye could ever help her overcome the fear of him simply not showing up one day and giving up on her completely. 
Shaking her head, disappointed with herself for wasting time, she stood up, ready to leave. To her surprise, just as she rose, Neteyam appeared right in front of her.
"You waited," he uttered softly, a mix of confusion and gratitude in his voice.
“You made me wait,” she retorted, her irritation impossible to hide as her eyes bore into his.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Neteyam raised his palms in the air, offering a defeat.
And that’s when Y/N noticed it. Before she could unleash the angry words she had rehearsed in her mind for the past hour, or fully grasp the tinge of pain in his voice, her eyes caught sight of something. A streak of red smeared across Neteyam's forearms, clumsily wiped but not enough to be completely rid of. Almost as if he tried taking care of it himself and failed miserably. Her amber eyes swiftly traced the path of the color, trailing from his ribcage and vanishing around his body, and without a word she circled him, to find his back, covered in awkwardly arranged leaves. She guessed that Neteyam had placed them himself, since some of the wounds were only partially covered, and there was dried off blood all over his skin.
“Neteyam, what the hell happened to you?” Y/N asked, her eyes turning bigger in shock. How long has he been in pain? Why didn’t he come to the healing tent and get it treated? Her mind was flooded with questions.
“It’s nothing,” he mumbled, turning around to face her, though his expression was painted with guilt, “Just a few scratches.”
“These are not just scratches, they look horrible,” Y/N gestured at him once more, “Why didn’t you come to your grandmother? You came home hours ago, no?”
Neteyam flinched at her words. They held the truth, but he didn't want to admit it. There was something embarrassing about getting that many wounds on his back. It meant he hadn't noticed the enemy behind him, which also signified his lack of attentiveness. But how could he pay attention when his whole reality was shifting around him? Neteyam took a step away from her, trying to force a small smile.
“Since you had to wait for so long, let’s go on that walk now, hm? I’ll try to make it up to you,” he tried nonchalantly.
But Y/N was quick to close the distance between him. She grasped his hand and without a word pulled him into the healing tent. Once inside, she gestured for Neteyam to take a seat on one of the rarely used old wooden chairs, thinking that being on her feet would be more convenient when treating his back.
“Seriously, I am okay, we can still go on that walk,” Neteyam tried to reason, but she was already hissing at him in annoyance to stop talking.
His ears lowered in defeat, which he desperately didn’t want to accept, but also secretly had craved. Because even though Neteyam was used to being the one taking care of others, it felt like a sun on his skin, knowing that somebody else was there for him. And he could tell she was mad just by the way she treated him with silence, but the anger was coming from a place of caring.
The wounds he bore were throbbing with pain, located in a difficult-to-reach place. Neteyam hadn't intended to be late; it simply took him longer than expected to dress his injuries. Yet, his heart fluttered with a mixture of relief and gratitude when he spotted Y/N still seated in front of the healing tent, patiently waiting for him. She could have easily left hours ago, so why did she choose to stay?
“You have a whole family of healers, why didn’t you just ask them for help? Why didn’t you ask me?” Y/N sighed.
Neteyam's ears twitched at the touch, a subtle response to the gentleness of her fingers on his back. Soon, the leaf bandages he had grown weary of were being carefully removed, and as she worked, a wave of empathy flowed through her, her tone turning into a softer, more understanding one.
“I know that there is some kind of pride that comes with being the Olo’eyktan’s son, and also this pressure of being perfect and never showing your vulnerabilities. But when you get hurt, Neteyam, none of it should matter.”
“I know, you’re right,” Neteyam admitted guiltily, hanging his head, “I just…”
Y/N tsksed at the incomplete explanation with discontent, taking off the last bandage. Now, fully exposed, Neteyam’s back was covered in multiple gashes arranged at sharp angles around his spine. Fortunately, they hadn't pierced deep enough to cause nerve damage, which meant that Neteyam was quick to react. A damp cloth grazed his skin as Y/N gently wiped away the brown stains of the dried off blood.
“Whether we like it or not, we are a team now,” she continued after a pause, “So you can rely on me.”
He nodded, even though he couldn't see her face. There was a sincerity in her words, something different from before. It didn't feel like mere obligation; it felt like she genuinely meant it, like she truly wanted him to rely on her.
“Thank you, Y/N.”
His earpiece suddenly crackled to life, interrupting the moment, and Neteyam immediately tensed up at the sound of his father’s worried voice. He sat up, and pressed a finger to his wired necklace, speaking into it.
“I am safe, dad, what happened?” Neteyam questioned.
Worried, and unable to hear Jake’s voice on the other end, Y/N quickly came in front of Neteyam, searching his face for clues of what was happening. The future Olo’eyktan seemed to grow more concerned, as he remained quiet to hear his father.
“What is it?” Y/N whispered impatiently, and then she felt it.
Y/N's stomach plummeted as she observed the transformation of Neteyam's expression. What was initially concern now gave way to a haunting mix of guilt and remorse. It was as if he carried the weight of something deeply troubling, something that was unfixable, probably too difficult to say out loud.
“How many of them?” Neteyam spoke again, his eyes still glued to Y/N’s, “And who exactly got shot?”
It felt like the world around her came to a stop, as in these seconds of waiting, Y/N had imagined hundreds of scenarios running through her head. And it could be anything, but the way Neteyam rose to his feet in a hurry, she feared that the worst one was coming to life.
“Is it him?” Y/N’s voice cracked, and Neteyam nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line.
“It is Kaye.”
Tumblr media
chapter 5 →
Tumblr media
♡ taglist ♡ : @kiri-tuk @samiiistarss @afro-hispwriter @iwantjaketosullyme @thexplosivegirl @peachinsomniac @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @koala-wonderland @sakura-onesan @dimplesxx @i-live-in-a-fantasy-daydream @theycallmesia @crazy4books1 @empiricsad @summertimedepression @vihelm @cleverzonkwombatsludge @ducks118 @couragemydearheart @xstarsmvxz @jkeluv @qtkat @marsbars09 @buckysleftarm420 @soleilmoon @blueslxt-primary @kavyaas-world @books-for-summer @tojis-discord-kitten @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @jackiehollanderr @totesnothere04
670 notes · View notes
shitolodise · 8 months
Text
Hii peeps, i've made some TF2 morning routine headcanons, bc i'm obesesed with this game and i can never stop thinking about all of the mercs
keep in mind eng isn't my first language so there could be some stuff wrong haha (cries in brazilian)
Scout
One of the last to wake up, usually leaves the room already dressed, his social energy already replenished, having more energy than the others to talk. He starts the day with cereal and milk, and as soon as he's done Scout invites, anyone who has time, to play baseball with him.
Mostly cheerful, Scout tends to crack jokes in the morning, trying to make conversation and asking how everyone's night went, always talking about the dreams he had, if Miss Pauling isn't involved, of course.
Soldier
very punctual, every day he wakes up at 7 am, has a hearty breakfast (bacon and eggs with orange juice, American stuff), and already leaves to put on his uniform, his time outside varies between target shooting, unnecessarily running for hours without stop, break the necks of criminals for America, taking care of the raccoons in Merasmus' house, go back and wake up the others who are still sleeping.
He already wakes up in a good mood and energized, talking loudly in the morning resulting in sometimes waking up the other men. If it's not Scout who is bringing up the subject or telling stories, that role is Soldier’s, that is if he comes back home during the others' breakfast.
Pyro
Wakes up around 8 am, his mood usually already being high up. He likes apple juice and pancakes for breakfast or sweeter things in general. After eating, Pyro goes from setting small things on fire or drawing and watching cartoons on TV.
Always cheerful, he rarely wakes up angry. He comes out of his room already hopping and waving to the other mercenaries.
Demoman
It varies on how he slept last night, depending on how drunk he was. Demo gets out of bed looking in the fridge for anything that has alcohol in it, going so far as to pour vodka into his coffee cup. It is normal to find him walking dizzy through the halls of the house, or sleeping in a random corner of the backyard. He is usually the one who agrees to play baseball with Scout, even though most of the time he has to stop playing because he is too dizzy.
Demoman goes between babbling shit when he wakes up / talking in his sleep (yes, in the middle of the breakfast table), or laughing along with Soldier / Scout. Aside from being drunk, it's hard to see the Demoman wake up in a bad mood or sad unless he doesn't find anything alcoholic in the fridge.
Heavy
he is already up around 8/9 in the morning, a chamomile tea is what he normally drinks in the morning accompanied by his sandwich. He likes to spend his free time reading a book or just sitting in front of the base enjoying the morning breeze, if possible talking to Medic.
Heavy isn't much of a talker when he first wakes up, answering others shortly and quickly, Soldier and Scout’s stories helping him wake up faster, eliciting a few laughs from him. Despite this, Heavy wakes up with a neutral personality, what will happen throughout the morning decides how his mood will be.
Engineer
What time he wakes up depends on how much sleep he had last night as he has a habit of having brainstorms at ⅔ in the morning. When he wakes up, he already takes coffee from the coffee maker, adding milk depending on how much energy he needs in the morning. After eating anything easy he finds in the cupboard, he goes straight to his workshop to finish what he started the previous morning.
Difficult to wake up in a bad mood, he always leaves the room with a smile on his face and greets others, it takes a few moments to become talkative, but after a cup of coffee, he starts to interact better.
Medic
Due to insomnia, Medic tends to wake up very early, already up at 6 am. His first idea is to look at the things he was doing before going to sleep in an attempt to bring his sleepiness back, if that fails, after a few hours, Medic leaves his lab and goes straight to the kitchen to eat something, going about his day as usual. Most of the time his choice is tea (especially when he can't get back to sleep) and something simple to go with it like biscuits, then go back to work on what he was doing before going to the kitchen.
It takes time to "wake up". His mood most times is not the best, easily irritated by too much noise in the morning. He tends to give others dry good mornings, paying more attention to the thoughts running through his head and after a few minutes he finally snaps back to reality. Usually, it's Heavy who can talk to him best.
Sniper
Between the last and the first to wake up since he sleeps outside the base / in his van, it depends on how good his night of sleep was. Starts the day with a strong black coffee, not too much sugar, a slice of bread with butter being a good enough breakfast, and when with patience a fried egg. He gets dressed when he wakes up if he hasn't already slept in his clothes. When he leaves the van, his first hobby, if not seeing the others, is target shooting or watching a program recorded on a cassette tape.
Always looking tired, his social battery is usually very low in the morning and it's even hard to see him out of the van shortly after waking up, but that doesn't stop him from laughing at Scout's jokes or missing the chance to make fun of Spy at the first opportunity that arises.
Spy
He wakes up around 6 am (the first one to wake up) since he likes the silence and his alone time. Usually, he has breakfast, does some kind of exercise or stretching, and gets dressed, staying in his smoking room reading some magazines or books until the others wake up.
His mood starts good when he wakes up, normally calm and with a smile on his face, that is until the others wake up, causing him to revert to his ordinary serious personality.
60 notes · View notes
sam-loves-seb · 5 months
Text
gallavich questions
thanks for the tag (and the questions) @callivich !!
What’s a fic you’ve read more than once? intro to quantum dating by @spoonfulstar, i think i've read it 3 or 4 times now, it's one of my all time favorites
What’s a gifset you always have to reblog? anytime i see a gifset from that one s5 deleted scene, yeah that one, i have to reblog
What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about? i have a very specific headcanon for a tattoo ian gets post-canon for mickey, and i hesitate to even explain it now bc i think one day i do wanna write a fic about him getting it, but whatever--my headcanon is that he gets an M tattooed on his left ring finger and it's a subtle yet sweet nod to his husband. (i could talk about this for 9 hours but i will limit myself and stop here)
What’s a fanart you love looking at? i've spent an obscene amount of time staring at this fanart by @doodlevich it just checks all my boxes (domestic, husbands, fluff, etc.) and it's so well done, i'm obsessed with this pieces
What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration? listen, i have this idea for a rock band au that lives rent fucking free in my head, and if i can find the time and the inspiration to actually turn these vibes and unorganized plot points into actual words and a coherent story in the new year, then maybe it'll see the light of day in 2024 but no promises. for now, i leave you with this: four milkovich siblings are in a rock band that is rising to success with the launch of their second studio album and subsequent tour, and ian gallagher is lead singer mandy's (fake) boyfriend--at least in the eyes of the public--and he spends some time that summer touring with the band and hooking up with their lead guitarist in secret until the band's manager/father catches wind of what's going on behind closed doors
What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else? i've always been a post-canon enthusiast for almost all of my ships, but i think before gallavich i always envisioned them with a very cookie cutter standard american dream family with the house and the careers and the 2.5 kids, which usually fits a lot of my ships, but with gallavich i... don't have that same vision ?? i think they're actually my first ship that i hc more often than not without kids in their post canon life, which is a new vibe for me entirely but i kinda love reading/writing it. idk if that answers the question you asked, but it definitely answered a question
What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of? honestly i want more s9/10 prison era gallavich fics (and/or fanart). i think it's a gold mine era with so much untapped potential, and there are very few fics/series/whatever that really get deep with it and get to the good stuff of these two boys who haven't spent any significant time together in years but still love each other like they did way back when
What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show? it flip-flops for me between s4 and s5, like right now i think it's s5 but idk if i could actually pick one or the other as my absolute favorite
What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved? i would give my left arm to know how the fuck (and why the fuck) mickey started rolling with his dad again in post-prison s10 era, like in 10x08 he's going to terry for advice on how to protect ian, just for terry to try to kill him again 3 episodes later ??? make it make sense john wells i'm under your bed
What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough? personally i think the promise ring scene in 10x09 is criminally underrated and not talked about nearly enough, like you don't understand how happy that scene made me (stay with me here) seeing mickey stand up and fight for the future he really wants with ian and not settling for anything less
What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship? can i do song lyrics? i'm gonna do song lyrics--i've always thought the song godlight by noah kahan was very gallavich, especially the chorus, and especially during s4/5/6 era and it may or may not be a piece of inspiration for my big bang canon divergent fic
What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale? i think they take a while to really settle into their new place and and make it their own, and it's a bit of an adjustment (for both of them) to fit in with this new crowd and this new environment, but they're learning how to grow and evolve together and at the end of the day that's all that really matters to the both of them
tagging: literally anyone who wants to play bc my brain is tired and i am too tired to try and remember everyone i probably should tag
17 notes · View notes
merenwenformulauno · 10 days
Note
A and N for the ask game <3
this is going to become a ramble and someone else also asked N so I will answer that there.
A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?
I've been trying to answer this since you asked and I cannot pick. I have a top 4. Sorrrry. and for different reasons.
ok
link a current between us strollonso 6.7k
He is eighteen and he cries when he wakes up on his birthday. He can feel the string around his wrist, feel the slight pull that tells him his soulmate is on the same continent but far far away. And Lance knows. Know he was right. Knows he is at Interlagos for the race later on that day. The way his father had pulled back from Ferrari until Fernando moved to McLaren. The way Fernando had looked so sick that first time they met. The way Fernando can’t fucking look at him if they ever cross paths. Because Lance is his soulmate. And he is seventeen years younger.
i don't this is my best plot or anything but i did this in flufftober so in a single day I came up with it, dated each section, and banged out all 6.7k and before that i didn't really write long things? but yeah i was writing a paragraph and then having to be like if lance was x age, fer was x age where were each of them in their career, make it all fit. and i just think as a writer it was, yeah big achievement. specially bc i wrote a fic every other day too. fever dream stuff.
but also from that month.
between the moments you remember strollonso 1.7k
It is not until the first pup that people begin to really work it out. It crashes several websites; the first pictures of Fernando’s rounded belly and beaming smiles. Not enough to confirm for most omegas but Fernando has always been so careful with his body and the world knows it cannot be anything else. Rumours fly. Names like Jenson and Mark and then a truly wild piece suggesting it is Lewis Hamilton and the alpha wants his omega close while still having space to work. That only stops when they see Lewis bound down the pitlane and spin a protesting Fernando into the air as he screams his congratulations before being dragged away by an embarrassed Toto. Then, months later, Fernando winces and bends over in the garage and the way Lance drops to his knees, hands over the bump, adamant his practice session is over as he snarls at mechanics and won’t let them near says it all. OR: Fernando and Lance, and their decades together.
another flufftober one. shorter but still a lot of work. working out who would be how old when and when these familly members could be born without it being TOO far out there. but i like, kinda used this as therapy for how my granddad passed in the end and it really touched people i think and i'm very proud of it. and i felt better after writing it. and i still get people appear in comments in another fics and be like 'i re-read that btw' and ...yeah.
collisional cascading glance 25k
In condensed-matter physics, a collision cascade is a set of nearby adjacent energetic collisions of atoms induced by an energetic particle in a solid or liquid. George and Lance have been in each other's orbits for years. As they continue to intersect without collision the universe and the fates interfere in the form of a soulgoose. That should be the end of the matter. It isn't.
when i tell you this was driving me insane. i aimed for 6k. whelp. but i'm just, proud ? it was so daunting as it got longer and longer. and every scene needed a flip and george was doing his usual and inserting random shit and yeah. but then it got such a positive reaction and it made all the stres worth it. i still chuckle bc @abovecalamity live commented? and was like 'ok so i predict THIS happens' me like o.o. her 3 lines later GEORGE. it was just one that gave me a lot of joy in and all around it. and confidence in my writing. like early chapters of endlessly and tattoo make me cringe but somewhere mid november i had a shift and yeah.
for the love of princes seb/lewis/fer 15k
Prince Fernando Alsono is the first. Older than Lewis. Clinging to sixteen to Lewis’ barely thirteen. Barely. Lewis does not really listen to the details. Something about the Empire in Rome crumbling, outposts in the north, princes , alliances of those never truly loved by the pope. Lewis doesn’t care. It was never his religion anyway and he is old enough and Fernando is pretty. Or, for Lewis, as one of his father’s advisors had put it, his balls had dropped and that is all that is needed when it gets around to having a priest of the new old, whatever religion, marry them and getting into the prince’s bed. But the marriage does not satisfy his father, King Niki. Nor does the next. Or the next. And it is not the Prince who snaps but his husband. No more. For the love given by the gods and more, no more.
i love this because i had to face so many fears with this. would people accept the drivers i chose to be the children? bc other than flipping george and lance as who was older they were carefully picked. fernando is old enough to have birthed lance, nico is old enough to george ect, seb to lando. i mean they would be teens but this is a historical au.
i didn't feel confident writing seb at all and yet by the end he was possibly my favourite character. and i knew it was upsetting subject material so that scared me. and i think it is always scarier when you're writing FOR someone whether as an exchange or taking their prompt because they will, hopefully, come look at it. and yeah for me to not put the smut in, just go around it was another step. stat facts show smut does well but i just felt it would take from the heart of the story so i had to trust myself and my writing.
so yes. while i think i have better plots and such these are my favourite works bc if what it took to put them together. i only included finished works here though. consequences is probs going to be a fave. i will shut up now lol
7 notes · View notes
desceros · 2 months
Note
I am 🫨vibrating out of my skin🫨 thinking about Symphony💜 24/7/366 (bc hey it's a leap year!) so THANKS FOR THAT you absolute degenerate MONSTER /aff
I'm curious, do you have a regular-ish writing schedule specifically for Symphony? For a while there you were posting a new chapter at least once a week (which I consider a god-tier skill btw 🫡). What with December/holidays inexorably derailing everyone's productive habits, it's understandably been a bit longer between updates since the new year.
Are you working your way back to your more "regular" schedule? Or has the biweekly posting become your new "normal"?
↪️ PLEASE know that I in *NO* way intend this to come across as a veiled "hurry tf up im waiting why aren't you spending literally every free moment you have slaving away on this fic for my entertainment?!" I am asking from genuine curiosity as a writer who struggles (epically) with sticking to even a vague blurry image of something resembling a regular writing schedule🙏 ↩️
(also Apologies if you've already answered this question at some point)
😘💋🫶
oh, i don't have any kind of update schedule, hahaha! i write when i have time, and between work and social stuff and wrist issues that keep me from writing some days, that's just not consistent enough for me to have anything written in stone on when i'll drop things.
the times when i've updated symphony more frequently are when i'm focusing just on it; for example when it was my nanowrimo project or here in january when i was trying to push to get to chapter 22. usually though, i like to mix things up a bit so i don't burn out. this means i'll update a chapter of symphony, then write a one-shot or fill some requests or the like. that means a longer gap between symphony updates... but also more one-shots!
so i suppose you could say that this is my "normal" schedule, such as i have one. a symphony update, followed by something else. though there will be times when i'm just SO excited to post for symphony, i'll probably do back-to-back chapters. :D
7 notes · View notes
crazyexdirkfriend · 11 months
Note
hi tony. it's me borzoi. how's the fic going? btw i poured sand outside your door i hope you dont mind. anyways can you tell me all the reasons you like jake. i need to shoot soemoene down with appreciation for him.
hello hello today I wrote 500 words and then spent 2 hours researching Jung's theory of collective unconsciousness again for a throwaway line. So, productive! (sand encroaches further) I love Jake because he's my specialist boy and if everyone doesn't hype him up I'll burn this site to the ground
Nonexhaustive (bc I'm exhausted) Jake bits that I love: -He's a bitch. He's very smart at making everyone believe he's a little stupid. And usually this is so he has plausible deniability if anything is expected of him (because that's stressful and makes people hate him if he fails) but it's also so he has plausible deniability about being a bitch.
-His kooky vernacular. I despise Jake being reduced to "Britishisms" when he is oscillating wildly between modern slang, sounding like a 1930s socialite, on thesaurus dot com looking at synonyms, or just making stuff up. Sometimes his quirky phrasings are just little metaphors all in their own little bizarre way. His caboose is laughed straight off the tracks! Many have died in this tragic derailment.
-His whole fucked up fairytale gender fuckery princess archetype narrative shenanigans. I could say a lot about this but I spent so long in my thesis trying to put it into words and then Rads said dirk/jake was Shrek and everything just. Clicked. Yeah. They're Shrek. Enough said really
-He's so weird. His pile of guns. His slobberd on Neytiri poster. The fact that he would have most certainly kept Dirk's head and made a skull collection given half a chance.
-He's just genuinely trying but sometimes trying is so hard. It's very hard to get up and try to be the best version of yourself every day when the best version of yourself is the one that isn't you, the one that exists in someone else's fantasy. Dirk would know all about that.
-Jake's level of anxiety and specific derangements are so fun to investigate. Why is he like that. I love finding out. Kid burned his grandmother in the woods like.
-I also just find Jake's arc fascinating on a meta level. I'm not sure I necessarily agree at this moment in time that Jake's arc is played off as a joke or that Hussie hates Jake. He's just the narrative anti-darling. Reading Jake's parts can be extremely difficult, especially coming into the epilogues, but I think that's always what was building. Maybe it's not an old joke that's no longer funny, it's a scene that's meant to be narrated dismissively enough to make you uncomfortable.
(Side. My original thesis proposal (2017-2018) on Homestuck was about narrative manipulation and investigating whether Hussie's framing of Jake's arc is deliberate, not because he has a vendetta against a character he made up in the first place but because it's a metanarrative- audience participation. How horrific do the acts happening to Jake have to be before everyone stops laughing? How far can Jake be cosmically punished by a narrative before the audience stops thinking it's justified, penance for being "an asshole." (Answer: pretty far. Just take many reactions to the Derse Prison Scene, and a few more to boot about the epilogues) )
Rambling a little. But to reiterate my top point
-Jake is a bitch. Jake held a poll to name the tv show "Rumble in da Pumpkin Patch...or whatever stupid name Dirk would have come up with." And I love him dearly for it.
8 notes · View notes
hqissodelicate · 9 months
Note
Hisoka, Kazunari, and Juza!
LC IN THE ASK BOX HII!! 💕💕 omg this is a bit of an unexpected trio i had to do some deep fathoming and introspection before coming up with my answer
enemies to lovers: juza
tbh i can't see myself being enemies with any of these guys but if i really HAD to choose it'd probably be juza,, and it's really more crack than anything else but it'd be bc i'm a banri stan AJNDJKS. ofc i don't hate juza just bc i love banri (on the contrary i actually really do like juza too) but in like an extremely crack universe there might be a bit of a misunderstanding between me and juza bc of the whole me being a banri girlie thing, and banri would probably let that stroke his ego a bit too much and add fuel to the fire lmao. the 'enemies' phase would probably be kinda short tbh like maybe a handful of chapters before we bond over sweets and then BOOM friendship and then,, oh... what is this feeling? it's... oh, oh. THAT moment 😳😳
fake date: hisoka
i've constructed a scenario to justify this. in this scenario hisoka and i happen to be working part-time at the same place and there's that one weird coworker who's being kinda weird to me,, hitting on me when it's unwelcome 🤢🤢 and hisoka does the classic "leave her alone she's my girlfriend" bit to get them to leave me alone (blushing kicking my legs rn) and we have to pretend to be lovers in front of our coworkers to sell the bit (BLUSHING KICKING LEGS INTENSIFIES). and like,, i'm thinking about the GAP here. bc normally hisoka's a lazy sleepyhead, right? but when he gets in-character,, WHEWWWWWW 😳 he's out here dropping the smoothest flirtatious lines that would give kazu a run for his money, he's being the perfect dream-come-true prince charming that would have muku squealing over (muku's just like me fr), he's just so suave and charming that it'd almost make me forget it's just an act and then,, pining and angst with all the "what-if"s and "only if"s 🥲🥲 BUT THEN *vine boom* he develops feelings too and becomes the character he plays and then ANGST bc he remembers what happened with august and is afraid of getting attached,, but then stuff happens and he decides "i will protect her with everything i have so i don't have to lose her the way i lost august" (KICKING MY LEGS CRYING CHEWING THE WALL)
slow burn: kazunari
admittedly my first instinct was slow burn with juza bc he's really awkward and shy about romance and doesn't really know what he's doing and fake date with kazunari bc i can imagine kazu pulling the whole "actually she's my girlfriend" thing to save me from getting unwantedly hit on, but then i realised a slow burn between me and juza would just probably result in the flame flickering out bc neither of us would make a move, at least not without divine intervention bc i'm not usually the type to make the first move either KJSDNJFSK so instead slow burn with kazu!
it's for the comedy bc kazu is a big flirt, right? and over the years i've come to realise i'm rather clueless to people flirting with me and just in general showing romantic interest in me JNSHJ like if it's other people i can see it clear as day but when it comes to me i'm like "ehh wdym they weren't just being very nice and friendly?? :o" so kazu flirting with me would be unstoppable force meets immovable object KJDSNKJ
so the first phase is kazu's surface-level flirting with me. then he realises it's not working bc his efforts go over my head. then idk maybe he consults tsuzuru or muku or someone for advice and they tell him he needs to be more Real with me, to try and genuinely connect with me and get to know me instead of just dropping cheesy pickup lines and trying to mould his personality based on what he thinks i'd like the best. bc that's the thing about kazu, right? a pathological people-pleaser (affectionate) and i think after a while i'd pick up on that pattern and feel kinda,, turned off in a way bc he's not being authentic with me? and i think at that point i'd like him in a friends kind of way but it'd be frustrating bc we're not truly connecting bc he's afraid to be real
so then he takes baby steps and starts letting his walls down bit by bit and be more honest about his thoughts and what he wants. aND THAT'S WHEN THE SPARKS REALLY START FLYING!! when he decides to just forgo the flirting and attempts to get a date in favour of really getting to know me, that's when we both start really developing feelings for each other (rolls around kicking my legs) and it takes us both by surprise, especially him bc for once he wasn't trying to get me to fall for him and he didn't think he'd actually develop deep serious feelings beyond a physical surface-level attraction,,, idk something about falling in love when you're not actively trying to make it happen and when it's least expected just has me so
Tumblr media
(ASK GAME: send me 3 characters and i'll tell you who i'd slow burn, fake date, and enemies to lovers with)
6 notes · View notes
theloveinc · 1 year
Note
I don't know if I've asked this before, but if you were in MHA, what would you want your quirk to be? If you want a quirk that is lol Are you a Pro? A civilian? Somewhere in between? A villain?! 👀 Gimme the juicy deets on the MHA Catie
Also hi! Sorry I've been MIA - just wrapped up in work and stuff.
🐞
trying not to start by yelling your name AWW, don't apologize for being busy!! just the other day i was wondering where you were, but as long as you're okay + taking care of yourself + doing what you need to do, i'm happy☺️ also, i've been even more shit at answering asks lately so it's probs been for the best
AND you're always so sweet for asking about me! i honestly don't deserve that kindness cuz i wanna be here for you and Y'ALL!!! but i appreciate the thought sooooooooooooo, SO much.
i have to admit, tho... i usually imagine myself as a civilian of some sort, mostly bc i'm currently pretty useless in my real life LOOL. i like to think i have some sort of cool, telekinesis quirk bc my dad is a tradesman who is literally descended from a clan (naruto vibes) ... but since i've never been much of doing-sports person, and have never felt that heroic, it's probs pretty underdeveloped.
one thing i envision a lot, however, is like... having run in w/ (a) villain(s) where i somehow end up telling them exactly how society has failed them and led them to the point that their at, bc a lot of my school revolves around childhood education asjdkffsdakjf so it's just constantly on my mind (also i'm sorry but aizawa's pedagogy sucks and i yell at him about it too. it's a good thing he teaches heros bc i wouldn't hire him for anything else) ... but that's just to say i think i have a few shining star moments that get me noticed somehow LMAOOOO.
that's kinda all separate and general tho, cuz it really changes + depends on what a scenario requires of me! but this is what i lean on when i'm free to think whatever!
bUT NOW tell me about you?? do you think we'd meet somehow in this world??? i love u lots and lots, ladybug<333
2 notes · View notes
pinkseas · 1 year
Note
naur but everytime i word vomit into ur inbox i literally cant remember 70% of it than the core details and the ones you answered the next day so it's kinna funny i wish tumblr lets me save my anon asks than eating it up cus i ain't drafting it like ANYWAY TO UR BESTIE THAT MENTIONED US >> I LOVE GOING INSANE WITH ALY PINKSEAS TOO ur friends are so real!!!!!!! youre insane are you single IS SUCH A FUNNY ASS LINE I WISH I WAS HIT BY IT AND I'D SAY YEA WHAT ABOUT IT
"twitter scares me so bad" as you should it's a shithole for genshin altogether with discourse and mischaracterization and you'd literally cannot stop seeing any of them once you get genshin in ur algorithm and yknow what i realized my only Best fandom experience came from tumblr with undertale Despite its discourses bc its got effective filters and the people are genuinely Good so now i'm thinking of yeeting outta twt and spectating my way here like last time (i am already doing it)
"if i read soulmates it has to be done Right [...] they can’t depend on one another they cant need one another they have to Want. they have to Choose" LIKE NO YEAH THIS IS SO TRUE SO REAL THIS IS WHAT BUGS ME ON SOULMATE AUS when it's almost not by choice and they have to work on accepting it like they're forced into needing it's like,.. a very complicated method here in changing their minds toward the other person Because of the cursed bestowed on them- the point of Choice is so fucking important to me especially when it comes to xiao specifically bc in my rendition of his he's unfamiliar with such things for a long time,.. and even in canon he's a lil troubled about deciding things for himself in the presence of higher beings until he's allowed to IT JUST HURTS HE LOST HIS FREE WILL AND THEN UR SOUL BOUND LIKE WHAT (AND FR specific soulmate tropes where the two ARE given the choice for it are. acceptable 2 me)
"lumine handling intensity well and being much better at identifying her emotions suits her SO well imo" yeah like yea!!EVERYTHING ABT THIS and i think it follows up all the traveler's sass in-game bc she's so fuckin hilarious for delivering lines super well despite having Less lines cus aside paimon taking over the talking she does have her moments and i lov her for it I DO WISH THEY HAVE HER TALK MORE EVEN WITH THE USUAL TEXT CHOOSING i just want her sick ass lines conversing
FKSDFHJSKDFJ ENDEARING IS SUCH A GODLIKE WORD TO ME I WILL KEEP USING IT FOR XIAO EVER its the way you can use it like. subtlely. a lil hidden a lil not Much about his cuteness without explicitly calling him cute its Big Word for the small boy!!!!
your thoughts on qpr makes me feel so much better abt thinking this way bout r/s like YEAH its all abt communication and open with boundaries and there really is something stifling about established r/s BUT IT'S COMPLETELY FINE FOR THOSE WHO PREFER THAT ANYHOW!!
AND YES SO MUCH ON LUMINE AND XIAO'S SHOW OF ATTRACTION TO EACH OTHER i wudnt even call it attraction i think anything that indicates a romantic tension between them is something i'm not gonna entertain like 'craving' or 'desire' (this word in particular is used very specific) and stuff like that, and it's a big fact that lumine's attachment feels like its the same to everyone Except aether,... even after she discovers his abyss persona she still begs for them to go back home too. it's unbeatable even to xiao, or at least, xiao has a different treatment to kindness for being so Similar to her (breaks down) "i feel like seeing each other constantly would be a detriment i think it’d make them both feel really weird." like RIGHT????? IT JUST FEELS OFF THIS WAY and it's not a good portrayal of xiao's desperation not wanting to lose someone else anymore. but even then, idt he shows that notion much or at all than his self-sacrifice tendencies, which is an entirely different topic. this thing about xiao's attachments and morals is a complicated thing to tackle altogether...;;,,
"no bc i characterize lumine as LOVING nature so bad" and u are absolute fucking RIGHT to think that, and for me she just likes exploring in general and is a bit of a reckless daredevil so long she has her glider and its the only condition. its stupid it's silly BUT IT MAKES SENSE shes just a constant headache to xiao in looking after her testing through the terrain but /pos
"i am So Grateful to you for sharing your thoughts i am so giddy over us being on such similar wavelengths" AND ME TO YOU TOO IT'S BEEN SO GOOD TO JUST SPILL EVERYTHING I HAVE IN MIND and get comfortable even on stuff im shy to reveal on unpublished asks cus ur reactions even if not agreeing there's still some reassurance anyway and i dont mind that or feel rejected at all when 98% others is what we just. have connected brains on KDJFHSDKJFH AND JEEZ I RLLY DO CAN'T HELP MYSELF WHEN THE BRAINWORMS INVADE WHEN I REPLY UR RESPONSES TOO it takes over my fingers like a parasite i gratefully let em
and ouuouh ur interpretation of the two's development starting in inazuma is so sweet and it makes sense bc of how dangerous the region is bc in my silly lil bran it made sense to have it After the chasm since it's the quests centering his arc AND I STILL CANT BELIEVE HE HAS HIS OWN ARCHON INTERLUDE,.. this made me loving all the peeps of the chasm gang too and i wish they did Something after the quest ended like UEUEUE TRAUMA SHARING SESSION FOR PPL WHO ONLY MET FOR 3 DAYS LETS GO
so like i start from sumeru bc of the points bc of this and bc i love slow development So Much im practically immune to slowburn did u know. all those fics do Not affect me even if i reach its 30th chapter of them being reluctant to opening up. ""zhongli encouraging him to take more time to himself, lumine taking him on little trips guiding him out more and more and more often" is THE CONCEPT EVER YOU HAVE ZHONGLI INVOLVED idk if you dig this but parental zhongli has me on the floor so id like to think he's another important figure in xiao's life aside lumine too he's just that warm hand on his back encouraging Out of his comfort zone and obligations and lumine's the hand that pulls him Along to see the new things of the world. like zhongli is such a dad,.... doing dad things a grandpa to liyue but i also cant help but have him having an attachment to xiao knowing they share a life even as a master-subordinate r/s (cus in my interpretation zhongli never felt that way than thinking he just wants xiao to Live, too,.. sobbing crying shitting)
"taking baby steps in leaving that part of his life, never quite letting go but letting the ties that hold him to liyue loosen, never forgetting his contract and his duty but understanding that there’s no longer an obligation to fulfill it, that he does it out of his own wish instead. i just. idk. idk !!!!!! at the core of it i think im obsessed with them learning how to live again and doing it together" i got no words. i ran out of brain fuel but my body is convulsing folding in on itself liek MY LIEGE YOU ARE!!!!! U R SO,........ LIKE OSBFGKJFGHDKJGH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is THE XIAOLUMI AND METHINKS,....... THE XIAO ARC IN ENTIRETY AS WELL CUS I BELIEVE IN HIS INDEPENDENCY (with a little help and support from ppl who cares bout him) i just akjdhaskejjksfhsdfkjhdsjfhkjdsbvadhvbjhkv
using a read more thingy just for the sake of anyone on mobile
NOT REMEMBERING ASKS IS SO REAL i forget what i say so often even when i Can go back and check how the fuck am i supposed to know what ive said when i Can't
MY BESTIE THAT MENTIONED US >>> SO REAL i think its been more than a few at this point actually which is very funny to me. shan if ur reading this i am holding u so close to me in my little arms. youre insane are you single is the best line ever especially when you are Dating The Person Who Says It my response every time is "no but i could be😏" i find myself far too funny its awful
we are Shaking Hands in terms of being on tumblr experiencing the undertale fandom that's so real of us undertale was the reason i got a tumblr in the first place all those years ago... you should ABSOLUTELY spectate here i literally never see anything i don't want to see i live in my perfect little echo chamber it's so <333
"even in canon he's a lil troubled about deciding things for himself in the presence of higher beings until he's allowed to" GODDD YEAH YEAH YEAH YEA H YEAH YEAHY HEA YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!! do NOT force this boy into situations he does that enough by himself thank you very much
"even after she discovers his abyss persona she still begs for them to go back home" no bc its just. On Another Level Genuinely. they've been traveling together with no one but each other with god knows how long especially depending on personal headcanons, they're used to going through entire worlds and moving on theyre used to not getting super attached !!! its a little different in teyvat i think because theyve lost most of their power and they're trapped and alone for the foreseeable future but. that still doesnt change the past and their habits yknow ?? its something i try REALLY hard not to think about actually because (with the exception of a very specific au which i am currently writing for) unless they're just. trapped on teyvat Forever i CANNOT imagine lumine staying there once she has the ability to leave and i CANNOT imagine xiao ever leaving. it makes me So Sad genuinely i simply refuse to acknowledge its existence
"xiao's attachments and morals is a complicated thing to tackle altogether" SO REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM SO GLAD U THINK IM RIGHT ABT THE NATURE LOVING it just feels right tbh and "shes just a constant headache to xiao in looking after her testing through the terrain but /pos" also so real <33333333 lumine and her silly little glider. god. i love them both so bad
i do like to think of the chasm as post-inazuma but thats because in my head w/ their development inazuma is like. The Next Step almost, where they're close enough in liyue but the fact that they continue to be close even once lumine has left really hits. and then they've been a bit closer and become familiar with one another in quite a few ways by the time the chasm happens and then i get super self indulgent with the chasm because i am so silly like that <3333 in terms of slowburn and the way you've described their growing closeness it does make SO much sense to swap it tbh i love the thought of the chasm being like the start of things and the way that'd bring them closer before inazuma and. mfgnmhfnmf god. GOD.
"i wish they did Something after the quest ended" no bc in my little brain they get together once every month or two just to have a meal together and talk and keep up with each other they are Friends Now
"parental zhongli has me on the floor so id like to think he's another important figure in xiao's life aside lumine too he's just that warm hand on his back encouraging Out of his comfort zone and obligations and lumine's the hand that pulls him Along to see the new things of the world" this is the most perfect accurate thing i have read in my entire life for starters i LOVE parental zhongli like. idk not FULL parental not too much but def him being a more parental figure in xiao's life especially compared to other interpretations of their dynamic i just. god. it is So Important to me that zhongli cares for him and looks after him just in those little ways. the warm encouraging hand on his back vs the hand pulling him along is PERFECT thats such a fucking amazing way of putting it i love everything abotu that the image is so clear in my head
o(-(
^^^ me dead on the floor thinking about zhongli and lumine being such important figures in xiao's life... i like to think that a Lot of the characters in liyue are important to him in different, small little ways i just don't know their characters well enough to fully describe how but like. idk baizhu qiqi yanfei ganyu yknow ?? i know next to nothing about yanfei but i might have to try and write her for this honestly we'll see how it goes but i REALLY want there to be at least one character other than the few i have now who he ends up talking to even if its just smth rly simple... if nothing else the chasm crew is getting an honorable mention on god
idk i just. xiao has done so much for liyue for so long i really love to think of those very few who know him trying to do little supporting things for him, too it's so important to me
okay and now !!!
i am also gonna answer the Other Ask but without publishing it naturally it will simply live comfy cozy in my inbox <333
THAT ONE SHIP "it mischaracterizes Both characters in the pair altogether for the sake of romance" you're so real for this idk i dont MIND seeing it but it has never felt in character to me and i feel like this describes exactly why ?? idk maybe its just the xiaolumi brainworms eating away at me but like. i Get It
what you said about like. your personal hcs for him in regards to that trauma and how he processes it that is SO fucking valid, i def understand getting anxious about certain self-indulgent hcs im the same way both with the sillier ones and heavier ones but i can promise you that if nothing else i will Never judge you for even the most self indulgent ridiculous shit EVER. like the way you described it all is so valid and so easy to picture and a really good way to interpret/believe he'd deal with everything but even if you were to have the most ooc headcanon or anything ever just for fun just for the sake of it i simply would never judge having fun is the Most Important with these things im so srs
we have diff interpretations of how he'd deal with things like the yaksha's deaths and zhongli dying but i think a lot of the points we both have are still pretty similar, ESPECIALLY with him not knowing how to handle it and ESPECIALLY especially with the shock factor. the way i write him or would write his reaction to that would definitely be him just sort of Shutting Down emotionally because its too much and too overwhelming and so he kicks into like. i cant call it work mode its not really a job. but he fully focuses on fighting and finding out who couldve killed rex lapis and like. he turns his attention to things that are familiar and easier to deal with and he buries himself in them the way one would bury themselves in their work to ignore emotions yknow? and then there'd be the shock factor of "oh he Is alive" and then there's this massive pit of grief with nowhere to go because logically, reasonably, rex lapis is alive, there's nothing left to grieve. he shouldn't still be upset <- man who refuses to let himself process and feel his emotions when the emotions dont stop existing just bc he ignores them
that being said that's definitely a Pattern With Me Specifically like in the barbara fic ive been working its built off of canon but i take it SO far just bc i can :sob: and i enjoy it way too much to want to Not do that yknow? girls who struggle to process and Actually Feel their emotions writing characters strugglign to process and Actually Feel their emotions so that she can process and feel them vicariously through them <3 or something along those lines idk at this point its less that and more "wow this is really fun to write and its smth im familiar with so its easier to write as well"
my cat meowed and i stepped away for like 2 seconds to pet her and immediately lost every train of thought ive ever had in my life hopefully i wasnt gonna say anything else LMAO but no yeah self indulgent hcs and ways of interpreting characters >>>>>>>
i keep reading and rereading the way you described xiao's response to grief i am OBSESSED its so easy to imagine its so easy to see like oh my god. ohhhh my god. based as hell it suits him so well
i cannot think of anythign else to say back to the trenches i go <- finding scenes where i started in the middle or left out the endings and filling those parts in now that i dont know what else to write. its been really nice actually ive gotten a lot done just with that LMAO
1 note · View note
gothellewoods · 2 months
Text
I'm just so fucking tired of living with my mom I need to get out of here but she's gonna lose it even more and I'd feel like I was abandoning my dad but. I need to get out
A few days ago my dad asked to fucking move the end table from between two chairs to the side so he could lay across the chairs to watch TV and my mom got weirdly upset about it but she left bc she didn't like the movie. He did it anyway + put everything back after
Then the next day my dad woke up to see my mom took the table down into the garage to "get rid of it" since it was bothering him so much. And she took his instruments from the living room down into his office too to get his stuff out of there? Just on principle idk?
And then my mom woke me up that day just fucking screaming at my dad. Why? Because according to her he was talking her he wanted to get rid of the table. And when he said "that's not true, I only wanted to move it out of the way for a bit," she lost her shit. Started calling him a liar and a "monster" repeatedly, among a few other nasty names
Now she's been shutting herself in her bedroom all day every day and I don't even see if she's eating? Like at all? It's been days and idk if she's on a hunger strike. And she won't give me any clear answers when I ask if she is. Like I can't outright ask her bc that's basically asking her to freak out at my but I can ask "have you had lunch yet? Did you skip breakfast again? I'm going get some food, want anything? I just picked up some bread from the bakery, have some while its fresh! I'm going to get takeout, do you want me to pick you up anything?"
And it's always no. She won't take anything and I haven't seen her take any food on her own. And she hasn't eaten breakfast or lunch yet at 2:30pm and she doesn't want anything and she'll get her own food herself later.
She'll barely say two words to me and they're usually words that are like like, specifically designed to make me feel like im some abusive awful person locking her up and making her act as my maid. Meanwhile I'm out here begging her to stop reorganizing my room and come get lunch with me. And she's being even worse to my dad at the moment. I'm so fucking tired I don't know what to do anymore
0 notes
masschase · 4 months
Note
you can answer now or later but i’d be interested to hear you rank all the games
Getting drunk, want to ask me anything?
Ok I'm not there yet, I've had 3.5 shots now and I only feel a little tipsy but I'm wary bc my mum made this stuff and gave it to me last year so the % is a mystery. It may suddenly hit me while writing.
Anyway, oh my god so really like this is so hard because I know I'm not supposed to like 4 but you all know I do 😆 but also I find it really hard to rank games? To me it's hard enough to rank which of all the games/series I like I like best(fwiw I mostly rotate around Borderlands, Binding of Isaac, The Sims if it counts and obviously SR but there are definitely others that are my favourites on some days) and then SR I see as a whole in a way because of the way I've written it! Not a cop-out I swear like genuinely ranking is something I really struggle with and then I wonder if that's weird?
I guess how much I enjoy just hopping on them and fucking about them it's like 4, 1&3 joint, 2(probably jusr bc I've not played it much), gooh. And then I say this and I'm like what do I actually do on sr4 on my switch at the moment? Usually dress Casey up, take screenshots, leave. Anyway if I was looking at how well written they are I'd probably concede to 1&2, 3, 4, GOOH bc like 1 and 2 are linked for me like here's the thing. (Also I'm sorry but GOOH is something where I've used some plot points but a lot have been removed from my hc over time but I really didn't play that much of it. I liked that there were musical numbers though and giving me the new planet ending ofc bc thats been handy. But acrually... what would I have come up with without that ending but still following 4? I'm super curious)
Anyway back to 1&2. There's some stuff the creators knew in 1, right? That isn't *in* 1 but they knew it? Right? I've said before my favourite story arc just in terms of writing is just the whole arc between Playa and Julius. Idk nowadays I wish there was more like that in the later games. I wish the narrative weaved throughout a lot better. When I was first playing though I wasn't as concerned, like I always said I wanted games with an interesting storyline but I wasn't too bothered with amazingly written.
Also at the same time I like weaving a story around what we are given. Obviously I was intent on writing a romance. But I do sometimes think about writing the whole thing, in my canon adjacent manner. Start to finish. I see these games all spanning a matter of months so there is a lot that goes on that we don't see. But then again I lose confidence in writing it bc I lose confidence in my own oc. It doesn't help that I characterise her differently on tumblr than my fanfic because I started off just wanting to do silly cartoons. Like I never thought art as such, I thought... accompany my writing with a visual, you know? I thought if I started with some little moments I could work up to telling the more serious and/or romantic shit later I guess? Shout out to my friends I rp with for helping me get back to that more tangible real person Casey bc I obviously do love her. In her own way. Even if I don't want to. Kind of like SR4.
Anyway to get back to thr point I was going to say, this will not surprise anyone but I haven't sunk a lot of time into the games. I finished 4 years ago and restarted on switch bc I traded in my 360 version ajd lost my XB1 version. I finished 1 years ago and I don't have it anymore because I used to work in a game shop and could borrow most pre-owned games for a month, i should re-buy it digitally. I semi-finished 3 and then went back and finished it this year. And I haven-T actually finished 2, although I've watched it all which I know is not the same. 🥲 so yeah. I'm a fail fan. My brain wants to create and create and create things for this series (ok maybe not in the last few weeks but its still been on my mind. Like a lot) but I'm genuinely sorry if they're lacking in substance sometimes because of all of this.
I was going to replay them all in order this summer but I didn't. I have maybe an hour or so a day when I can actually play whereas I can write or draw or rp with smol people around or on the bus to/from work. When I worked in the game shop that really sucked out my passion for games. I know it sounds silly bc I was selling them not playing them but it did do that. I think it was mostly just having a full time job that did it and some of it being gaming was coincidal. But hey at least I played SR1 for free right? 😆
BTW I constantly think about if I went the route of having my SR1 Playa I made be the actual Playa, maybe sr2 Boss too and then Casey take over later and be the original age I guess I would've seen for her? Idk that would have been interesting. Don't think I don't love working it all into one too though! You know I have such a soft spot for baby Casey 😭 in fact of the in-game you've seen her the most. I mean think about it, most of my content is post-sr4 not during. Actually a lot of it is gap filling in general. It's something I like, obviously.
Just to go back to like... the shifting hcs thing. It's not super evident but a lot has changed since I wrote my fanfic. I'm not going to go crazy main universe, I'll save that for AUs. But there are a few things I've tweaked in the back of my mind because I've let go of canon a little. I used to be glued to canon, now we're in an intricate little dance. Anyway this is long enough already. I sort of answered. It may seem like a spineless dodging the point way. But I've said on numerous occasions my hcs change regularly, and the same is true here tbh. Its very mood dependant, what I want to play.
But if nothing else interesting comes from this I AM PURCHASING SR1. POSSIBLY RIGHT NOW. IT'S BEEN YEARS. I WANT TO PLAY IT AGAIN. :D
BTW I'm sure a little while ago I noticed Dex says "aight" but his subtitles say "alright" whereas Troy says "alright" but his subtitles say "aight"? Like if it was just one of them fair could just be the difference between writing and speaking but I think they're flipped? Anyone know what I'm on about?
0 notes
vagueiish · 4 months
Text
the answers to questions somebody did ask, but not of me specifically!
i did these tav questions for tav!oliver and because i'm wanting to talk about him more -- and it's my tumblr blog so i do what i want -- here are the answers! (cw: brief brief brief suicide mention at the end. more like a mention of a note, but i don't know, just in case?)
what do they smell like at their freshest? (and/or after a tenday. your choice)
Freshest? Probably basic soap and the coffee he’s most certainly just finished drinking. Maybe fantasy cigarettes/whatever is in the pipe he may or may not have smoked After a tenday, sweat and dirt and coffee and fantasy cigarettes/tobacco/pipe shit and maybe a pungent mix of whatever plants he’s been working with, if any, or woodsmoke or... the scents of whatever chores he's been having to do over the last ten days
what would their blood taste like to vampires?
Hot apple cider. Non-alcoholic, mind you, as he doesn’t drink. But there’s a sweetness and earthiness and warmth to it, like there is to him. Or coffee, lmao, since he practically lives on the stuff, but i think hot apple cider suits him more
how would they kiss their LI?
(kinda viewing this as his companion-style ‘can we kiss?’ response, obvi using astarion because the dude is his LI. idk, prolly answering the wrong, ha ha ha) Usually? At the start of the actual relationship, even after the act 3 graveyard scene, Hesitantly. Something like…’Oh!’ A moment of wide-eyed shock at being asked for a kiss before smiling, soft and shy. He begins to reach out as if to cup Astarion’s cheek, but then…pulls back. Smile faltering ever so slightly under the weight of uncertainty, he’s still not sure he can believe that someone would actually want to kiss *him*. But he looks into his lover’s eyes, gaze flitting to astarion’s lips then back again, and his resolve is bolstered. He gently takes astarion’s face in both hands before leaning in slowly. The initial kiss is brief, a peck, almost as if testing the waters, but he barely parts from astarion before kissing him again tenderly. They stand like this for a moment, two, before Oliver pulls away ever so slightly, resting his forehead against astarion’s, smiling brightly as he laughs.  ‘If i’m dreaming,’ he murmurs, ‘please don’t wake me.’  or something along those lines ...but generally speaking, he tends towards gentle and affectionate and being handsy (affectionately so, not like... in a sexy way) and drive-by pecks on the cheek/forehead/temple/back of the hand/random body part, if he ever gets to the point of being comfortable enough to initiate
how do they sleep with their LI (what position, does one steal the blankets, is one too hot/cold, etc)?
He doesn’t really have a set position he sleeps in. Dude is fuckin flippy-floppy. SO i imagine he and astarion often end up getting tangled up, bc i imagine astarion too is a flippy-floppy kinda guy when he actually sleeps. Except on nights where he n astarion end the night cuddled up – spooning (he’s good either big or little) or one on top of the other – they somehow manage to stay relatively still. Astarion ends up with all the blankets, which oliver doesn’t mind; he usually ends up kicking them off anyway.
what does their tent area look like? where do they prefer to pitch their tent (next to water, covered on three sides, etc)?
He sleeps in a shitty, cloth covered, low profile lean-to, the placement of which depends. Like outside, he’ll try to pitch it somewhere where if it rains, he won't get flooded. Uphill? Strategically, basically, something that indicates he knows how to nature. Initially away from the others.  His bedroll is worn and hastily patched in places. No blanket or a threadbare one. He has a mortar and pestle, empty jars and potions bottles, various random plants in piles nearby and/or hanging from his ‘tent’ frame. Maybe arrow components, a knife and whetstone, piles of things set up in a way to look like he’s flitting between many projects in quick succession. Like even when he’s supposed to be at rest, he’s still working on something. Also also always a carafe of coffee because he lives off the stuff. A fishing rod propped up next to his ‘tent’. Also a local map and maybe a small notebook? i also like to think that, once the romance is in bloom, he'd set up a fancy little cushion/sitting area that clashes with the rest of his shabby tent area for astarion when they're hanging out by his tent. also he keeps a bottle of blood or two around, just in case
if they had a set of dnd dice, what would they look like?
Probably something basic. Silvery-blue or earthy green and brown,  acrylic or resin.
do they collect anything (gems, bottles, keys, etc)?
On the tadpole journey, he grabs every book he comes across with the express intention of reading them. He doesn’t, but he likes to think maybe he will eventually. I don’t know if that counts, though
if either, are they part of the astarion/gale book club (magic & literature) or the wyll/shadowheart book club (trashy romance novels)?
My dude does not discriminate. He likes stories, he likes learning, he is naturally curious. and he’d read whatever if he gave himself the time. So. Y’know. While he never lets himself actually relax and read for funsies, if he did……¿Por qué no los dos?
if they had to be put in a “get along shirt” with a companion, who would it be?
Himself? I don’t know, maybe minthara, I haven’t gotten the chance to see what their dynamic might be yet. But he gets along pretty well with everyone… except he hates himself a lot, sooo….. Well. Hmm. Maybe not specific companions but situationally? He can become something of an asshole if people keep insisting on trying to explicitly/obviously care about and do things for him, even after he’s like ‘ha ha, don’t worry about me. seriously. don’t.’ So whomstever insists on giving a shit about him more than he’s comfortable with
do they prefer speak with dead or speak with animals?
speak with animals. he's accidentally a disney princess, apparently.....
what are their thoughts on clowns?
Just kinda like ‘…okay? i don’t get the fuss’ He has little experience with clowns, honestly, but they’re just kinda… there for him.
their companions are gossiping about them behind their back! who is it and what are they saying?
It’s all of them and they’re all bonding over thirsting over him. Honest to gods, everyone propositions him in game, it’s apparently canon that everyone has a fucking crush on him and i didn’t even have to do anything.  Or, while out in the field and he’s busy elsewhere, Shadowheart and Astarion and Karlach all taking bets on the craziest shit they can get him to agree to do if asked because he’s a helper but also he just sometimes does stuff without thinking. He’d never agree to child murder, for example, but he did lick that spider, so…. Where would he go from there? Also in the beginning, i'm sure astarion and shadowheart (maybe others?) are trying to figure out what his deal is. in a 'nobody's that nice and helpful without expecting something in return, he probably kills puppies in his spare time' kind of way. not helped by the fact that he deflects any attempt to get to know him.
what makes them laugh? what does their laugh sound like?
Puns. When directed towards him, clever insults. Maybe a bit unexpectedly, but sex jokes.  His laugh is soft. Restrained. As if letting himself express his amusement any louder than a brief, breathy chuckle might get him in trouble. If he does laugh loudly, he’ll cover his mouth, cut himself off and apologize, embarrassed
do they have any inside jokes among their companions?
None i can think of right now. insert the michael scott ‘would love to be part of one some day’ meme here, i suppose
what’s the description of their camp clothes in the inventory menu?
Something about how they’re stained and clearly have been patched many times over the years, though doneso hastily, for purely utilitarian reasons and with no regard for appearances.  In a way on the opposite end of the ‘has had one real set of garments for years and so needs to repair his clothing often’ spectrum of astarion, i suppose
what’s the description of their underwear in the inventory menu?
‘Shabby, falling apart, and of little note. Just like their owner’ After the romance with Astarion starts in earnest something like ‘these have been lovingly mended sometime recently.’ would also mention, i’m sure, something fun that astarion would embroider on them.like ‘for astarion’s eyes only’ or ‘astarion was here’ or ‘hello, beautiful’ or something 
how do they celebrate their birthday?
By pointedly ignoring it. What’s to celebrate? Which kinda makes me wanna write a thing where he accidentally reveals to karlach that it’s his birthday soon because she seems the most likely to be like ‘oh no, babes, we are fuckin celebrating this shit’. Because he’s her bestie and also she likes a party and i’m sure she wants an excuse to get drunk and eat cake, lmao. Not that she’d need one but, hey, she also gets to celebrate one of her favorite people in the world! win-win-win And she talks the rest of the crew into setting up a surprise party for him. Which, they’re fucking down, right? I’m sure they expect some discomfort on his side – he doesn’t do well with parties, he’s not used to people doing shit for him – but i don’t think anyone is prepared for him, after the initial surprise, becoming furious and storming off when he realizes the party is to celebrate him. Just… not fun all around
what modern day tv show would they binge over a weekend? do they get their LI to watch with them?
MythBusters.  He doesn’t try to get Astarion to watch it with him, but I’m sure the dude would be into the chaotic nature of it all anyway. Like the episode where they like… blow a hole in someone’s house on accident or whatever? He’d be down for that
do you have a playlist for your tav? if so, what’s the title + description?
yeah. Not for bg3-verse specifically yet, and i actually have a few for various universes + a masterlist for all songs and prospective songs to sort through. But his general character playlist title is ‘could it be this misery will suffice?’ like his new tag, lol. No description, though.
if you were to try pickpocketing them, what would they be carrying?
Some gold, small hunting knife, mortar and pestle, an empty bottle, some random herbs, small notebook where he tries to keep a daily to-do list (his days are packed, even those dated before the whole tadpole thing, how in the hells could anyone fit this much shit into their days without collapsing???) his mother’s suicide note…
0 notes
countthelions · 7 months
Note
✄ what’s your editing process?
✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?
I am 👀👀👀
Editing process
Ooh gosh trying to word this in a way that makes sense. Well!! A lot of my editing comes from being a rp writer for a longer period than a story writer. I tend to write little chunks, then edit the chunk whenever I get trapped somewhere before continuing on. (It could actually be a fun process to record some day hmm) I am a little jealous of folks who can just bang out whole /chunks/ of stuff without stopping. Cannot be me unfortunately.
But at the end I will go through each section, which I've usually broken up in my head by "beats" (to use the acting term) - shifts of action/tone/etc and make sure they all flow correctly. I am not opposed to rewriting whole sections to capture the feeling I'm really aiming for, which,,, is why my long fics are really taking me quite a while to write. I think the second chapter of champion au has been rewritten at least six times by this point. When I do those rewrites, I'll change the whole section's font to a different color and literally rewrite it fresh. (Another reason why recording a writing section could be fun!!) The colored "old" section gets thrown into my extras at the bottom of the doc to usually just save ;; I dont want to delete them entirely hah! I also love just flipping sentences around. Sometimes that little shuffle is all it takes to make something click. This section - from colored text to this sentence for example - was at the bottom of the answer and got moved up!
This fine tooth combing I recognize is excessive - and man tumblr deleted what this paragraph used to be so I guess we're ending it here >:( but yeah, i recognize my editing is a bit too focused in on little details but given how important flow of paragraphs are to me as a mmm physical feeling you read to (how theatre of me hm?), I don't mind the work if it makes the whole thing stronger.
Easiest fic & Hardest fic
Easiest: honestly, anything that started as a ramble to my serverwerver friends was easy. They're my favorite of audiences, endlessly supportive and I love listening to them as well ;; One of my favorite memories of doing dragon au rambles is a moment where Grillby tries getting Gaster's attention and failing to do so, and all three of my friends put a sad emoji react on the end of that chunk. Twas very nice ;; I think if I had to pick one though? It'd be [nightmare cures], barely edited from ramble to posted - everything from the tattoos to the song came with hardly any thought. I needed some specific comfort and wrote myself the perfect thing
Hardest: a toss up between [Handspun Nerves] and [Till the Magnolias Bloom]. I'm not counting champion au bc it's not even POSTED BUT MAN IT CERTAINLY GETS ME!! Hand spun because I really couldn't bring myself to hurt Grillby and all my friends kept encouraging me to hurt him more, because that's what the hurt is /for/ in a hurt/comfort fic!! Magnolias gained it's title before I was even done with it hah!! I really really really wanted to write just the end, of Grillby waking up suddenly more well rested than he'd been in days, seeing Gaster snore across from him equally as rested - and my brain said: yeah but /why/ are they well rested? So I struggled Very Much with putting to words why they were finally relieved at being well rested and hopefully!! Succeeded. It could be a fic I rewrite some day actually...
1 note · View note
againtodreaming · 7 months
Note
heyy, for the weirder ask game :3
how do you take your coffee?
what type of person are you?
what kind of day is it?
Thank you so much, Johnny!! <333
so this is really late and answers under the cut bc it turned out so long, sorry!!
Complicated answer bc I actually don't really drink coffee? Ashdjdksj. Like, putting aside the fact that I need to do a special diet due to a disease and the special diet prohibits coffee, I never really liked coffee, too bitter for me (^◇^;). But, I do drink it sometimes when I need to stay awake really late to do homework/study (which technically breaks my diet but I can technically break it once a month plus, emergency situation). Those times I drink it with coconut milk, either coconut/maple/agave syrup or coconut sugar (small amount bc I don't like it when drinks are too sweet), and vanilla.
Type of person...hmm...I'm a human person? Wait, let me think...((went to ask some of my siblings this for some inspiration, one said that i'm "boring (not my fault none of my siblings like to read 🙄), overthinks every little thing all the time (unfortunately true, although during the last year I've just started to being really direct and open to try to avoid spiraling too much), and passionate (she was clearly refraining from bringing up all the times i have annoyed her by talking non-stop about whatever fandom i'm obsessed at the moment or about my wips asdfghj) (she also added later "sighs a lot" which like?!? she's the one who delights on annoying me?!? on purpose!?!) " another one just agreed with boring and then said smth i'm still trying to figure out bc she refused to elaborate so now i'm really confused, and another one just said "you are a Mila" which, okay, at least that answer had more originality than the 2nd one lol))...this is why typology is useful lmao. Okay!! ...this is getting too long ay, sorry, finishing this, I would say I'm trying to go back to being a person after becoming a complete disaster and just not living at all except inside my head basically all my teenage years (which coincided with moving countries, yippee/s) (the moving countries thing was actually the main factor why i was too overwhelmed and other stuff to be able to deal with real life at all lol) (don't get me wrong, i'm really grateful for the moving countries thing, it was just really tough and still dealing with it). Always felt like I didn't fit in during my whole childhood (i did have a good group of friends tho) and that feeling just got super amplified after moving countries lol. All my old friends have remarked that I tend to be really quiet and shy at first (was literally the quietest in class, even the other shy girls opened up by the end of primary school) but after we have known each other for a while, I become super talkative (...I also tend to talk really fast asdfghj, so many amazed comments or complains or pls could u slow down's 😅) (i don't really notice when i go fast unless i've taken coffee bc then, i do go SUPER fast and i have no idea how to slow down) (if possible, i tend to speed up any video I'm watching to 1.5x or 1.75 or 2.0x) (my sister complains that i'm messing up the songs by doing that lol) (...at this point, i feel like i need to add that i'm also the type of person who doesn't know how to get to the point fast and just goes in a huge messy doodle of a labyrinth as a road to get to the point and the journey is usually necessary to my efforts to illustrate the point bc if not, smth would feel like it's missing ig?? i have no idea how to articulate myself fast and concise anyway, so envious of the people who can, so apologies for the huge paragraph asdfghj) (i either talk too little or too much, have tried somewhere to fall somewhere in between but just didn't work, felt too edited and not genuine)
What kind of day it is…I don't know if you have ever tried to surf, I never really learned learned, but my dad did try to teach me a little of it one summer in Peru (with the small waves and a small swimming board), and it was a lot of try and fail and whenever we did it wrong, the wave would yank you and you needed to hold your breath and like, protect yourself ofc, but you also needed to just surrender to the force of the wave and let yourself being spun around until you were close enough to the most shallow part with sand and only then, you were able to force yourself to a stop and stand up. So yeah, that feeling of being dragged underneath the water, where everything feels so fast but slow and blurry and blue and out of your control but the world keeps moving, spinning, pushing you forward, and really, you just need to let the wave finish its course before you are back to the surface where everything feels more real-crisp-sunlight bright and you are finally able to pause long enough to catch your breath…it's sort of like that this week. The wave will pass though.
1 note · View note
ltcolonelcarter · 1 year
Note
I feel like you've been asked most of these already, so I'm going to go with 19 and 21 please 😊
chaooooooos 💕
19. What is some random info you happen to have that you used in a fic?
I've a pretty decent understanding of chemistry and physics, so for the most part when I'm referencing something of that kind, I'll make it as accurate as possible. that's pretty par for the course, I think. for sixty in a question of time I tried to use feelings of dissociation to show his decline through the loops, the way it affects his thinking and his emotions, but that's less random, I think.
I don't think there's much in the way of random facts I know scattered in my fics - when I was (much) younger and writing I was awful for going off on very long tangents, so I try to avoid digressions. for actual random info, you'll find a lot more hidden information about me in my fics than anything else I think. just small, unnoticeable stuff. habits or preferences or things I like. my favourite colour or time of day. weather I appreciate. that sort of thing.
21. Writer's choice - 10. How do you feel about writing plot, setting/description, inner thoughts, dialogue?
I haven't answered this one, sooooo I'm going to pick it so I can YELL
plot i just LOVE, but I think I enjoy planning it and developing it more than writing it, mostly bc the writing can be SO difficult when you have a very clear idea of what you want and are trying to find a way to make it real. don't get me wrong, I love writing plot stuff, but the (self-imposed) pressure to get it perfect mades it arduous sometimes.
setting i just fucking LOVE. let me walk you around a room and tell you everything about it. I will tell you everything about the place, the people, the mood. I love description for setting a scene, for giving and changing mood with specific word choice. it's usually where I start when writing.
one caveat: I'm pretty uninterested in describing physical appearance in terms of literal features, like eye colour and hair colour, and much prefer to describe them based on vibe, expression, attitude. physical appearance is much less important to me than, say, the way their expression changes when they're surprised, or hiding something. I tend to skip a lot of physical details for that reason. I don't know how annoying that is to read, but I've not had any complaints, and I'd probably carry on as I am regardless bc it suits me and I'm having a ball
inner thoughts are interesting, and I tend to try and pair them with dialogue, I think. I forget to add them sometimes, or maybe try and weave them too much into the narrative depending on the style of prose I'm writing, but they're so useful to present a viewpoint. especially erroneous ones. I love using inner thoughts to contradict something the audience knows to be fact. dramatic irony is a favourite, tbh.
dialogueeeeeeee my LOVE. I really, really love dialogue, even if it's sometimes a NIGHTMARE to write. if it's flowing well and I have a good sense of the 'voice' of the characters I'm writing for, dialogue is one of my favourite things to write. to figure out how characters express themselves! how they interact! how they conceal and reveal themselves!! i'm going to spontaneously combust!!!
I think I'm guilty of spreading out my dialogue a little thinly sometimes, bc I'm often conscious of overusing it... even though, logically, I don't think I come very close to overusing it at all. Plenty of space between for inner thought, perhaps. I love using dialogue a the bridhge between a character's thoughts (who they are to themselves, in their quiet moments) and their actions (how they appear to other people). and it's just so damn exciting to find a character's voice. I know those "they wouldn't fucking say that"/"they WOULD fucking say that" posts circulate regularly, but they're RIGHT. feeling exactly how a character should or should speak, canon or oc, is so much fun.
okay. i'm caught up. i'm off to WRITE SOME MORE.
send me a fanfic ask
1 note · View note
shandian-go · 3 years
Note
hello! thank you for all the work you do, hope you're having a nice day!
thanks anon! hope you have a good one too~
16 notes · View notes