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#it's always fun to make your ocs opposites
skunkes · 6 months
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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.
any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc
#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments#talkys#inspired by recent me and friend events#and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect#but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person#and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes#its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio#but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being#ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em#long post#delete later#sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late#but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different#people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people#this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the#time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling#part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info#like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life#but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em#some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things#and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^
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txt-trash · 9 months
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clever girl | choi soobin
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summary: you’ve only ever viewed choi soobin as your rival in school. he was cute and sweet at times but for the most part he usually acted cold toward you—or at least tried to. out of nowhere you hear about his grades dropping and in an effort to save your only motivation to push yourself harder, you accept his persistent offer to tutor him. you quickly learn he had an ulterior motive to always get you to spend time with him and despite how mean you think you might be, Soobin loved it.
➣ college au, smüt, fluff, enemies to lovers [but it’s one-sided]
➣ academic rival!soobin x f!reader [she/her, afab]
➣ 13.8k words
warnings: smut. oc is kinda mean to soobin. soft jealousy scenes. soobin asks oc to tutor him. really clingy. super cute. the smut is… nashty lowkey. heavy on foreplay. oral [both receiving]. handjöb. oc sits on his face. virgin soobin/experienced oc. oc gets jealous at times too. oc is kinda possessive. sub/dom themes but I swear soobin is a switch. breastplay. missionary. no condom. a lot of plot. multiple orgasm. soobin got that cream im sorry. soobin is a known perv. oc got big boobs. soobin is very obviously a boob guy. oc is lowkey dom, aftercare bc soobin cries. oc calls him a perv, dirty talk. soobin is best boy but also brattiest boy.
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You never considered yourself a particularly smart person. You weren’t gifted — as teachers would say — but you weren’t dumb either. You rode the fine line of somewhere in between but you also studied your ass off to get good grades so you could get a scholarship to the college of your dreams. It’s for that reason specifically that Choi Soobin drives you absolutely insane.
You’ve known him for two years but not close enough to consider him a friend. If anything you consider him the opposite of a friend. For the past two years he’s been your number one contender in class. He’s really smart, like book smart but lately he’s been plummeting his grades and that only seems to piss you off more. He’s the reason why you would push yourself so hard to be number one but now that he’s barely trying it’s not as fun. You’re a competitive person.
So, when he approached you today asking you if you could please tutor him you seriously stopped to think about it. If you tutored him then you could possibly have your competition back but tutoring him would also mean having to help him and he did not need your help. You knew he was smart enough to learn things on his own and he’s just in some sort of stump.
“Why don’t you hire one of those expensive tutors I know you can afford?” You asked him after pondering on it for damn near two minutes. You stood just outside the library where he had practically ambushed you before you could make it inside the building.
Soobin was one of those rich guys you weren’t so fond of. He had money, he didn’t have to work hard to get good grades and he could afford to go to any school he wants to while you have to work double as hard to do anything. Or course it’s not his fault but for him to ask you to tutor him when you know for a fact he doesn’t need you to just really bothers you.
He looked a bit lost by what you said, looking a bit bored like you’re the one holding him up instead of the other way around, “I don’t know, I figured you could help me out since we’re in the same major.”
You huffed out in annoyance, “Am I going to get paid?”
His eyes widened just slightly but you couldn’t if he was in surprise or in disbelief, “I guess, however much you want, I need the help.”
A small sigh left your lips as you rolled your eyes, “No you don’t, but whatever, if you pay me, I’ll think about it.”
“Can I get your number then?” Soobin asked, already taking his phone out. You didn’t say anything as you typed in your number and before he could say anything else, you left for the library.
He watched you leave without a smile on his face, keeping up his unamused act until you turned your back to him and his lips couldn’t help but curl up in a smile. Soobin knows it’s a bit weird for him to ask you to tutor him. You’re just one year younger than him but you take most of the same classes so he figured you were his best option.
And also… maybe he dropped his grades on purpose to have an excuse to talk to you but that’s something he’ll never admit to your face.
It all started two years ago. He had already been in school for a year or so and he was just soaring by. You were right when you said he could just hire some expensive tutor to help him but he never really needed it. He was book smart even though sometimes he lacked common sense in the real world. Growing up he had it all, tutors, piano lessons, private schooling, et cetera. He was a smart kid all the way until his third year of University.
Well… he’s still smart but things are different now. He’s spent the last two years practically racing you in classes you shared to do better like that would impress you but it didn’t work. Then, he tried being cold to you like you were to him but he could never do it right. It only seemed to push you away and after a while he realized the only reason why he did it was because he wanted to get a rise out of you. You just won’t notice him no matter how hard he tries to get you to and if this is the only way he’ll get you to talk to him more then he’s going to do it.
“So, did it work?” Kai asked, walking up behind Soobin and scaring the life out of him. Soobin released a loud yell that heads turning in his direction but he barely notice as he whipped around to face his friend, “Did what work?”
“Your little scheme to get Y/n to talk to you,” Kai said as he walked toward the library with Soobin on his tail, “What scheme?”
Kai stopped and gave him that look that told Soobin the gig was up, “You’ve been working on this for weeks now, you think I wouldn’t notice? You used to tutor me and now you’re saying you need to get tutored by the one person who seems to want nothing to do with you?”
Soobin cut in front of him to reach the door first as he swung it open, “No clue what you’re talking about. I’ve been struggling in class lately, probably stress over the internship this summer.”
“Right…” Kai rolled his eyes following his friend into the library, “Or the stress of getting ignored by Y/n no matter how hard you try. It’s been two years, pack it up already.”
“How do you know Y/n ignores me?” He asked getting into the elevator with his friend to get to the next level where more computers and desks were. Kai shrugs, “I mean it’s pretty obvious.”
It took days for you to get back to him and he waited anxiously to see what you would say. He didn’t want to blow up your phone because he had a cold image to uphold but every time his phone dinged he checked if it was you. By the third day he had almost given up hope until the simple text you sent nearly made him burst into a million fireworks.
you: meet me outside the library tomorrow
He got there earlier than intended but he acted like he didn’t. He had done at least two laps around the tall building just waiting for you to arrive and when you did, you said nothing to him. You only walked into the building and headed straight to the elevators like he wasn’t even there.
“It’s raining.”
Jesus Christ.
So stupid, Soobin thought as he turned away from you. This is what happens when he tries to make small talk with someone who sort of hates him. He still doesn’t get why you don’t like him much but he assumes it has something to do with your grades. You’re both art majors and have to take similar prerequisites so you see each other a lot. You’re both also at the top of the department and practically battling for the same summer internship so he thought taking a step back might’ve made you happier but it seemed to have the opposite effect.
You looked at him for a second and when he wondered if you would say something you just looked back down at your phone like he wasn’t even there. This elevator ride felt like it would never end. He knows it’s only been a few seconds but it feels so suffocating.
“Did you change up your hair? It looks good,” he said cautiously and you finally looked at him again. He didn’t expect a thank you or anything but maybe a smile.
All he got was; “Why are you talking to me?”
“It was like this last time we talked,” you finally said and looked forward again.
The elevator dinged and he released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in until he was off. The two of you walked down the hall with you a couple paces ahead of him in complete silence.
Suddenly you turned around to face him as he stumbled back a step in surprise when you said, “I like the black hair, it’s different from the blonde.”
He absentmindedly touched his hair as a smile grew on his face, “Thank you.”
Your brows furrowed, surprised that he was even smiling at you. Usually he acts just as cold to you as you do to him and that’s why you barely acknowledge him nowadays. You knew he wasn’t a bad guy but he always had a smug face when he came out on top in class and it drove you insane. He would even laugh sometimes when you would stumble over your words during a presentation and make fun of you, not even caring if you heard or not.
Of course you didn’t know he was giggling because he found you so cute even when you made mistakes.
Soobin happily followed you to an empty table, just happy to be there and ignored the hand you had outstretched to motion for him to sit across from you just so he could sit next to you instead.
You just looked at him unamused as his smile dropped, “What? How am I supposed to see what we’re doing if I’m sitting all the way over there?”
You released a sigh, “Alright, did you bring your last exam?”
Soobin nodded his head, reaching into his huge backpack to retrieve his laptop and work. He quickly opened his laptop and got onto the school website app to find his most recent Psychology exam. He knew you were in that class too even if you took it at different times [he only signed up because of you and got the time wrong].
You looked at his laptop where a fat 65/100 score was typed in red that made you gasp, “Soobin?! How?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered, “I’ve been stressed, can’t pay attention well.”
Soobin was looking at you with soft eyes, unable to help himself from looking over what you wore today. He hasn’t seen you all day aJust as you opened your mouth to scold him, a high pitched feminine voice cut you off, “Binnie?”
You both turned in your seats, a cute brunette with hair just above her shoulders dressed in a cute coquette style smiled at him sweetly, “I thought I recognized you.”
You knew her well too, you used to call her Soobin’s little sidekick in a class you shared last semester. She always followed him around complimenting him over every little thing he did and laughing at all his jokes, even the ones that weren’t funny.
“Hi Jia,” Soobin said as he looked back down at his laptop. Jia smiled before sliding her gaze over to you, “Hi Y/n.”
“Hey.”
She cleared her throat, “So, Soobin, good thing I found you, I’ve been meaning to ask you if you’re free any time soon.”
“Um,” Soobin look at you, “For what?”
“Oh!” Jia blushed, “Um, I’ve been having software problems and I know you’re a game wizard so I figured you might know how to fix it.”
She already had her laptop out and you watched as she pulled up a chair from a different table to sit on his other side and he looked just as taken back to be sandwiched between the two of you now. Soobin didn’t say anything as he took her laptop once she showed him what’s wrong and he hurried to fix it. His lips were parted in concentration yet his dimples still showed and you couldn’t help but look at him over. You never once thought Soobin was ugly, he had to be one of the most attractive guys you’ve ever seen but you would never even think about it. If anything it’s a bit too late to imagine you and Soobin being anything more than rivals or even tutor and student. It would just be too much.
She smiled leaning into him, "Thanks, it's like you're the only one who knows how to fix it."
"Then you should probably learn how to do it yourself for when he’s not around," you responded out of the blue, flashing Jia a tight smile, "I could teach you but it's just a troubleshooting problem and it doesn’t take a brainiac to figure that out."
"I'd rather have Soobin teach me," Jia smiled looking back at Soobin who looked down at his own laptop to hide the fact that he was furiously blushing at how snappy you sounded. You smiled watching him ignore her, the jealous immature side happy he's not giving her much attention but you couldn’t understand why.
“You hear that Soobin?" You asked, nudging him with your knee, he released a breath stopping what he was doing and waiting for you to talk. Just like that, he didn't ignore you at this moment. "Jia wants you to teach her how to fix her own laptop, she’s taking advantage of your kindness, y’know."
Jia went to argue but the damage had been done. Soobin wouldn’t disagree with you, maybe you were right. He did always get bothered by all the girls who asked him to help them with something and he always felt bad saying no. In the end, half of the girls would use it to flirt with him and compliment him every chance they had and it made him uncomfortable.
Even if what you had said was a bit of a lie and probably more beneficial to you than him, Soobin was on your side — even if you sounded a bit mean, "Sorry I'm too busy but if you take it to the tech lab I'm sure they'll help you."
"He's too busy," you repeated smugly looking up at her again. You’re telling "Oh, I understand," Jia sighed, "Soobin are you doing anything? Maybe we can meet up and do some work."
You couldn’t help but scoff, Soobin immediately looked at you as you moved just a fraction away from. You looked annoyed and he knew it was once again because of him. He asked you to tutor him and yet here you are having to watch another girl try and take him away.
"Um, I don’t know, I’m kinda doing something with Y/n right now and I don’t know how long it’ll be," Soobin said mindlessly, eyes glancing in your direction like you would reward him for being blunt, he turned to you, "Can we continue?"
You stared at him in surprise. This is not how you expected this moment to go. You were almost certain that was thrilled at the idea of ending this and leaving with someone he appears to be close to. Sure, you watched him tell her he was busy but she kept pushing and you assumed he would just go with it instead. You were also being a little rude and she was his friend right, why else would they have looked so close last semester? You assumed he would’ve been annoyed by the way you responded to her and would want to end this study session before it could even start.
“I don’t know,” you said, sounding a bit more harsh than you expected, “Do you want to?”
Soobin looked genuinely caught off guard that you would even think that. Why would he not want to? He’s been thinking about this for weeks, he’s worked for this — or well stopped putting in the work so you could tutor him. Do you think he’s going to want to leave to hang out with Jia?
“Yes,” Soobin said looking all doe eyed and you’ve never seen him make that face to you. You looked to Jia, “So, can we finish studying or is there anything else you want to tell Soobin?”
She stared down at you with a glare but you didn’t budge, looking at her unimpressed and not intimidated at all. All you wanted to do was finish this study session, get paid, and go home. Why were they making this so complicated? Was it even worth all this trouble when you haven’t even gotten to reviewing his answers yet.
The more you thought about it the more you realized it was actually really annoying. Would you have to go through this every time you study in the library? Would some girl with a fat crush on Soomin come and try and take him away? Did you really want to put up with that?
Soobin practically jumped in his seat when you stood up, “It’s getting late and we haven’t even started, let’s just try this again some other time, I guess.”
“Y/n!” Soobin’s voice was a little too loud for the people in the library and a few felt perfectly fine telling him to shut up as he ran to the stairs completely forgetting Jin was standing there waiting on him.
The elevator came to a stop on the first floor and you swung your backpack onto your shoulders, head down as you caught up on your notifications. You barely made it past the elevator doors when you bumped into a very hard service. A strong arm grabbed you from the waist as you nearly stumbled back, your phone unfortunately did not have the luck of having someone grab it before it fell. Your hands clung to the shirt of the person and you finally got a good look at him, annoyed huff leaving your lips, “Soobin!?”
“What?” Play it cool, Soobin “I was coming to see where you went after ditching me up there.”
“I literally said we could do it some other day,” you released a sigh as you picked your phone up and shook his hands off your waist. Soobin loomed over your shoulder, “Damn, your screens cracked, when did that happen?”
He wasn’t thinking straight when he said that, all common sense completely left his body as he looked at your phone with pity, only snapping out of his thoughts when he felt you turn your head to look at him. It was then that he realized just how close the two of you were with him leaning down to look over your shoulder. He couldn’t help but attempt a smile noticing just how close your lips are to his and you smelled so goo—
“About two seconds ago, Soobin,” your voice was laced with sarcasm that had goosebumps raising on his skin at how annoyed you sounded, “When you bumped into me, remember?”
He blinked once in realization, feeling his cheeks heat up, “I did that?”
A tired sigh left your lips as you decided to ignore him. You weren’t sure if he was playing dumb to get on your nerves or if he actually was clueless but now you were more annoyed than before. You don’t have the money nor the time to get your screen fixed and you definitely can’t afford a new one.
“I’m going home,” you mumbled as you turned away from him, “Go find another tutor, probably Jia will help—“
“I don’t want to,” Soobin’s deep voice cut you off as he followed you out the door into the outside, “I want you to tutor me, Y/n. I’m sorry about your phone, I’ll fix it but don’t take back your word, you already agreed.”
You groaned, “Ugh, Soobin there’s so many girls who’ll tutor you and for free, you don’t need me and besides, we can’t study in the library if someone is going to interrupt.”
“Y/n it’s been one day,” Soobin said harshly, “Did Jia bother you that much?”
Soobin couldn’t help but feel hopeful and he wasn’t sure why. He knows you don’t like him so there’s no way you were jealous but to see you act just a little possessive over him made him blush. He liked it. He liked it a lot and he was determined to make you admit it any way you can. He watched you roll your eyes, expression laced with attitude, “I don’t care about Jia, Soobin, but if I’m trying to help your studies I’m not interested in others tagging along.”
He couldn’t help but bite his lip as he tilted his head to the side curiously, “So you want me to yourself?”
Once again you rolled your eyes, turning your back to him, “I’m leaving.”
“No,” Soobin grabbed at your wrist softly, “I’m kidding, come on, let’s figure something out, yeah?”
“Like?” You asked, still not sure why you’re willing to put yourself through this when you don’t even like him that much. You watched as his shoulder rose and dropped in a shrug, biting his lip in thought and you released a small sigh to let him know you were running out of patience. He looked down, “I don’t know, maybe we could go somewhere that it’s just us two.”
You could barely understand him from the way he mumbled but once you processed what he said, you just nodded, “Alright, I’ll go to your place tomorrow.”
“Really?” He asked, clearly thrilled at the idea but trying to play it off. You just nodded and he finally let you leave.
What were you getting yourself involved with him?
Soobin couldn’t sleep all night. He went to his classes looking like a complete zombie and for once he had an actual reason for not paying much attention. As much as he wanted to see you all day you made him wait till late because you had work after your last class. It only made him more anxious and he cleaned around his apartment twice, just to be sure you didn’t think he was messy even if he kind of was. The entire time this all happened, his friend watched him from the comfort of Soobin’s bed.
“So what makes you think Y/n would even want to hang out in your bedroom?” Taehyun asked as he watched his friend go crazy. Soobin was acting like he was preparing a date, he saw him put on Chanel perfume about three times, each time saying he couldn’t remember if he put any on. He even styled his hair on.y to mess it up and restyle it differently.
Soobin shrugged, “I don’t know, but my desk is here, Y/n might.”
Taehyun just nodded, not seeming fully convinced but went along with it anyway, “Wishful thinking, bin, wishful thinking, and just speak your truth, what’s the real reason why you want to be in your room instead out in the living room?”
He smirked watching the way Soobin’s face flushed red, “Privacy.”
He chuckled, “From who?”
Soobin didn’t answer him and it only made Taehyun smile in amusement, “I love you, but it’s never going to happen.”
“What are you talking about?” Soobin asked as he checked his phone, already smiling at the text you sent a few minutes ago that said you were already on your way.
soobin: ok just lmk
soobin: I’ll come down if u want
You didn’t respond but he didn’t expect you to, he only just sent the message but he still found himself waiting for those three dots to pop up on the message thread.
“I’m talking about how badly you want to hook up with Y/n,” Taehyun said, making Soobin look up at him completely shocked.
“I hate Y/n,” obviously he didn’t but he didn’t like the idea of his friends knowing he liked you without knowing how you felt and he had a reason for this. If they knew he liked you despite how mean you were to him, they would think he’s a masochist… it’s better they think he hates you too but apparently he wasn’t fooling anyone considering Kai caught on pretty quickly too.
Taehyun let out a laugh, one of those really loud and obnoxious laughs that told Soobin he was actually very amused by whatever was happening. He went as far as wiping away his cheek like a tear had fallen and said, “Good one, almost believed you there.
“I’m serious,” Soobin said as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, fixing a wrinkle in his shirt, “Y/n is mean to me, why would I like her?”
“I wanna know why too,” Taehyun said as he rolled onto his stomach only making himself more comfortable on the bed, “I mean, she’s hot, but she’s mean—wait a second, you like that she’s mean, huh?”
Taehyun was just teasing him at this point and when Soobin refused to respond, his eyes only widened, “Oh my god! You like that Y/n’s mean to you, are you a perv, Hyung?”
He was only teasing, he swears it. He doesn’t care what his friend is into, what he likes is totally up to him but it’s just fun to poke fun at him when he gets so flustered about it. He doesn’t blame Soobin for liking you, like he said, he can agree that you’re attractive, but you’ve blown Soobin off for three years. Did he really like you enough to keep up his charades and if so did he really go as far as failing his classes just to get you to talk to him? God, what will you do to Soobin once you find out?
“I’m not a perv!” Soobin yelled, a little louder than expected. He’s really not. He’s not a perv… he’s just… he just likes you. Yes, he likes that you’re a little mean to him, yes he likes when you scold him, yes he likes pushing your buttons and yes he especially liked it when you do it and he can see down your shirt or look at the squishiness of your thighs but… but he’s not a perv!
Okay, maybe he’s imagined what it’s like to feel under your shirt and has struggled to pay attention to anything but the sight of you in a short skirt but that doesn’t make him a perv, he’s just an easily distracted guy…
Before Taehyun could rebut, a loud knock was heard on the front door that had both of their eyes widening in surprise. Soobin was practically sprinting toward the door as his friend gathered his things to leave. He meant to leave before you were here but clearly time passed by way too fast and now he’s getting ready to leave just as Soobin was opening the door to you.
You looked at Taehyun curiously as he ran past you and out the door, yelling, “Hi Y/n! Bye Y/n!”
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you let yourself into Soobin’s apartment, “What’s up with him? Why’d he leave in a hurry?”
“Uh,” Soobin gave you a blank expression that sort of reminded you of a confused bunny and you watched him scratch the back of his head in thought, “You said no distractions and… and he would be a distraction, right?”
“I guess,” you took the chance to look around his apartment, it was huge, way bigger than your apartment and it was so painfully obvious that he came from money. He had a grand piano in the corner for fuck’s sake. There was even a chandelier hanging above the dining table and a fireplace by the tv. Too distracted to notice Soobin move behind you, you nearly hit him in self defense when he began to pull on your backpack to take it off your shoulders. Without bothering with a thank you, you headed toward his marble dining table waiting for him to follow but he just stood in place.
“We’re studying in my room,” Soobin said in voice that radiated confidence, completely opposite of the desperate tone he used to prove to Taehyun that he was not a perv. He had an act to play, he assumed you liked mean guys. He’s heard of some of the guys you used to talk to and they all had one thing in common… they were intimidating and Soobin didn’t feel like that at all so he had to play the part.
You didn’t even question it as you followed him into his room, eyes immediately zoning in on the white cage set on its own stand, two different levels to it and a small hedgehog inside. Soobin cleared his throat awkwardly, “That’s Odi, he’s a hood boy.”
Fuck, Soobin thought, why would he say that about a damn hedgehog?
“Cute,”you said coolly as you took the main desk chair, making him have to pull up a smaller chair next to you. You thought Odi was cute after he called him a good boy? Or did him calling Odi a good boy not affect your thoughts on the hedgehog? Oh god, his mind was completely scrambled.
Soobin didn’t have to be asked this time to show you his most recent exam. He knew it was what you were going to ask to see first and he wanted to show you that he could be a very good listener. He looked to you to see how you would react to his quick obedience but you barely even blinked as you pulled it toward you. You pursed your lips in thought and he watched your mouth closely. Your lips looked so soft, so plump and smooth with light lip balm on them.
He wondered how soft they would be in a kiss. Were you a good kisser? Would you think he’s a good kisser? How far would the two of you go or would it just be kissing? He would someday like to get to a point where he can openly adore you because there’s just so much from your pretty hair to your pretty legs and everything in between.
He had a dirty secret that’s not so much of a secret considering his thoughts from earlier but… he can’t help but always notice your breasts—after your cute annoyed face of course—he wasn’t a complete bimbo. He respects you, he can’t just immediately look at your boobs despite the fact that today you were a low cut fitted shirt. He tried paying more attention to your face as it looked like you were about to talk but his eyes couldn’t help but slowly trail down your neck to your collarbone until he saw just the smallest hint of cleavag—
“Are you listening?” He snapped his gaze back to yours looking completely red handed as he nodded his head, clearly not listening.
You released a sigh as you looked at him in thought. Soobin was smart, you knew how smart he was so why did he seem so clueless right now?it’s like he had no thoughts in that cute head of his an—did you just consider him cute?
You blinked in surprise at your own thoughts and just as you were going to ask him to repeat what you said, you saw in real time the way his gaze seem to drop once more and you finally understood what was going on.
Soobin was trying so hard not to stare and failing yet the attempt was cute, especially when he seemed to let his lower jaw go slack and lips part slightly at the sight. Normally you would immediately be disgusted but it’s Soobin… he’s annoying and a know-it-all but just look at that brain empty expression of his, not caring at all now if he gets caught.
Without thinking you dropped a hand to his thigh, squeezing slightly and making his gaze return to yours, “What did I say?”
“What?” Soobin asked, shaking his head like he was snapping out of a trance, the cold and deep voice was back. You rolled your eyes, “You said you were listening so I’m asking you to repeat what I said.”
You’ll admit this was all a bit out of character but you just had to see if you were right… was Soobin really staring at your cleavage openly, and if so, how did you feel about it?
“Um…” Soobin looked down at your hand, “Um…”
“Um?” You repeated sarcastically, “Can you focus? If not, I’m going home.”
“Yah!” Soobin whined with a low groan, “Stop saying that, you already agreed to tutor me, stop trying to back ou—“
“Then pay attention!” You said back and he practically stomped his foot in a tantrum, just wanting to argue now.
“I’m trying but you—you’re,” he groaned in frustration as the words died in his throat and with a defeated sigh, he mumbled, “I’m sorry… I wasn’t listening.”
You smiled proudly, not at all in a rush to figure out what had him so distracted, and instead said, “Good boy, don’t you feel better being honest?”
The words just slipped and you didn’t think much of them as you went back to the laptop, already writing down answers to the questions he got wrong, meanwhile Soobin is trying to calm the painful red blush in his cheeks.
There was a small sphere in the palm of your hand, it was a shade of dark blue with a white swirl on it and it matched the same one Yeonjun held in his hand. You’ve shared one class with him in the last two years and it’s in the one you’re currently in. The two of you have never spoken a single word to each other and the semester started six weeks ago. He looked just as surprised to realize his partner was chosen randomly by a stupid marble.
He released a small nervous chuckle, clearly just caught off guard by this. He’s almost a 100% certain you’re like the only person in class that he hasn’t spoken to. Now, that didn’t mean he didn’t notice you, you were pretty and never talking to you really did make you seem a bit mysterious to him. He cleared his throat, “Alright, when should we get started?”
You checked the time on your phone, you were supposed to be meeting Soobin soon to study at his place but you’ve just been completely blindsided by this sudden partner project in class. You only had about a week to turn in the research paper and you had to work a couple nights this week. You agreed to study with Soobin on days you didn’t work but now with this on the table, you seriously don't know what to do. Well, obviously you have to do the assignment but you don’t know how to tell Soobin. If you just sent him a text about it you’re pretty positive he will just blow up your phone nonstop because for some reason he desperately needs you to continue these study sessions.
“When are you free?” You asked him trying to figure out what time would work best for you to work on this. You were only getting tomorrow to do research in class and after that the two of you are basically on your own as the unit confíes on in class.
Class has just ended so the two of you walked together outside of the room trying to figure out when would work best. It was hard to ignore the looks you received from some of your other classmates and you knew why. Yeonjun was attractive, really attractive and he was popular too.
Yeonjun brought his phone out too, checking his schedule, leaning a little closer to talk to you, “Um, I could do… well I work tomorrow after class… are you free later to get started?”
Soobin had a smile on his face that he knew soon he would need to drop it, he couldn’t let you know how excited he was to see you right now. He was in a good mood, anytime someone said hi to him he was quick to say it back but if a girl tried stopping him to talk he would excuse himself saying he had to go somewhere.
His class ended a little earlier today so instead of waiting in the parking lot for you, he went to your last class.
Just as he turned the corner, his smile seemed to fall without his control anyway. Standing just a few feet away from him he found you and you looked so pretty today in a pair of jeans that hugged your curves just the way he liked it and… and you were standing with Choi Yeonjun.
He watched you smile at whatever Yeonjun said and he debated if he should just wait. He could wait, of course he can and honestly it’s what he should do. You’re just talking to another guy and it’s not like you’re flirting, right? It shouldn’t even matter to him, you’re not dating—you don’t even like him! So why does he feel bothered?
“Hey,” Soobin’s deep voice surprised you as he came up behind you, so close that you felt him press against your backpack, just looming over you with a hardened gaze. You looked back at him, “Hey.”
“Are you ready?” He asked, trying to keep his voice steady and he couldn’t help but shift his gaze toward Yeonjun, who he definitely wasn’t happy to see was just standing there.
You looked at him apologetically, “I don’t know if I can make it tonight. We just got assigned this project and we don’t have time to do it in class so…”
Your words slowly died down as you watched his facial expression change. His lips turned downward and eyes seemed to sadden, “What?”
You looked at Yeonjun, “I’ll see you in the library.”
He took the hint and left you alone with Soobin who loomed over you with his height looking like a kicked puppy. You’re not sure why this expression really bothered you and you’re feeling really guilty now even if it wasn’t completely your fault. You found yourself saying, “I’m sorry.”
“But we agreed to meet up today,” Soobin said.
“I’m sorry but we want to get at least the outline finish—“
“Then what about after?” He rushed to ask. You looked at him apologetically, “It depends on what time we get done.”
You’re not even sure why the look on his face was making you feel bad but it was. The two of you didn’t even start to get along till just a couple weeks ago and sometimes he’s just so different from the cold side you’re used to. Sometimes he gives you snippets of how desperate he might be to see you but you can’t help but always brush it off. You just can’t tell what’s the real side of him and you’re starting to be affected by his cuter clingier side even if you couldn’t understand it.
“I’ll be waiting,” Soobin said, rushing away because he didn’t know what else to do. He was leaving before you could say that you can’t keep any promises. You rolled your eyes at how pushy he was but part of you smiled, shaking your head in disbelief and clearly amused.
Soobin didn’t lie either. He waited at home playing video games and checking his phone every couple minutes. He would occasionally send you a text, just a little reminder that you can’t forget him.
soobin: what time do u think u’ll be done ☺️
you: I don’t know yet soobin
soobin: :(
*five minutes later*
soobin: almost done?
you: not yet
soobin: 🥺 well hurry
you: …
soobin: 😞
*twenty minutes later*
soobin: 😞
you: what’s wrong
soobin: nothing :)
soobin: did you forget?
you: ?
soobin: study time?
you: no, I didn’t forget
Listen, the texts were annoying. They were so annoying because you and Yeonjun were trying to finish up the rough draft for your outline but Soobin just kept sending you text after text. It was annoying but…
It was pretty fucking cute. Ugh, he was just being clingy and though you found it annoying it was also so cute and it had you hurrying up your time with Yeonjun so you could text Soobin.
you: just finished
soobin: ok 🥰hurry
That’s how you found yourself sitting across from Soobin in his overly large living room trying to talk to him but his eyes were just straying away from your eyes. It wasn’t his fault though, like he said earlier, you just looked so pretty. Your shirt was fitted today and like usual he can’t seem to get over your chest. All of you really, your pretty face, pretty voice, pretty laugh and smile… your boobs and your butt and your cold attitude, it all just turned him into mush.
“Hey,” your voice scared him out of his gaze and he looked up at you blankly and clearly caught off guard, “Can you look at me when I’m talking to you?”
“Okay,” he nodded his head obediently, “Sorry.”
“You don’t even have your backpack,” you said as he looked down at his lap, “You were blowing up my phone the entire time I was with Yeonjun and you’re not even ready to study.”
“I know,” he gulped, eyes unable to help themselves from slowly looking down to your cleavage again. “I’m sorry.”
You released an annoyed groan, grabbing his shirt suddenly and shaking him, “Are you?”
“Yes,” Soobin nodded, “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again Y/n, I’ll be good, I promise.”
“So next time I’m doing schoolwork with Yeonjun what are you going to do?” You asked.
He released a sudden huff that made it clear he was less than happy to say this but said it anyway, “I’ll wait patiently for you to finish.”
Nodding your head you turned toward the small coffee table where your laptop was, “Kay, go get your bag so we can start reviewing this.”
Soobin jumped to his feet, running away with a smile, “So you’re not mad at me?”
“No,” you said feeling him practically squeal next to you, making you only the more confused but couldn’t help yourself from saying, “It was annoying in a cute way.”
Soobin bit back the urge to smile and did as told. When he came out he had a white bag in hand that he handed you watching your eyebrows scrunch together cutely as you asked, “What’s this?”
“New phone,” Soobin said casually and your eyes widened in disbelief.
“Soobin, why would you get me—“
“Because I broke yours,” Soobin said helping you open the box, “I already called your service and asked if you would be able to add your line to it and they said yes. I can drive you if you want me to.”
You shook your head no, “This is crazy, you didn’t have to do that! I could still use my phone, it was just the screen.”
“But,” Soobin looked down, “But it’s a gift from me to you, can’t you just take it?”
“Soobin…”
“Soobin is so cute,” your friend Yuna said one night as you got to Beomgyu’s house for a party.
You’ve been filling your friends in on your past two weeks with Soobin and it was all a surprise to them. You seemed to despise Soobin for some time and suddenly you’re all about hanging out with him. Even Soobin seemed to always act cold around you so for you to tell them that he’s been surprisingly clingy is in fact very cute.
“He probably likes you,” Beomgyu said with a shrug of his shoulders that had you spitting out your drink in shock. It’s not like you hadn’t wondered the same thing but for a while you wondered if you had just been reading too much into it and then you felt stupid for even thinking about it. Beomgyu bringing it up so suddenly shocked you, maybe it wasn’t all in your head.
“You think?” You asked genuinely and Beomgyu laughed out loud.
“Are you kidding?” Beomgyu asked, “He’s been staring at you since he got here and I bet you he’s been trying to think up an excuse to talk to you.”
“I’ve known him for like three years now, there’s just no way, I’m not even nice to him,” you said as you looked around for Soobin only to find him already looking at you as he talked a
To some of his own friends. He gave you a big and energetic wave that had you lifting your hand to wave back too. You smiled a little when he did and Yuna sighed, “You like him too, huh? I mean he’s cute—“
“No! No, I don’t,” you cleared your throat awkwardly, “I mean… even if I did, would it even matter? He thinks I’m mean, right? It wouldn’t be fair to him.”
They both gave you a blank stare and just as you were going to respond, an arm came around your shoulders as a low voice said, “What are we talking about?”
You said a quick hello to him as your friends started talking, “Soobin and Y/n got a thing for each other and neither one of them will admit it.”
“That’s not tru—“
“Oh, yeah, it is,” Yeonjun said with a laugh, “You should’ve seen the look he gave me when we were talking the other day and yesterday he ignored me when I tried saying hi. I even told him he can have you back because our project was over and he just ignored me!”
Your brows furrowed in confusion, “That doesn’t mean he likes me, we’ve just been studying…”
Soobin was not a mean person, he swears it. He’s really nice and gentle and he would never dislike anyone without a reason. He’s too shy for confrontation yet right now he would really love to go up to you and just pull Yeonjun’s arm away from your shoulders. You’re done with your project so why is he s next to you and why is he touching you? Soobin hasn’t even had the chance to hold you so why does he get to? He watched closely as you talked to your friends and Beomgyu trying to make sure Yeonjun wouldn’t try anything. He let Yeonjun take your attention away from him pretty much all last week so why is he still around you? It wasn’t fair, Soobin should be the one next to you. He was such a good listener this week, after you got him in trouble and he promised to be good, he did just that. He only sent you two texts throughout your time with Yeonjun and he didn’t even bother you in class!
“Who are you staring at and are they hot?”
Soobin jumped in surprise, drink spilling down the front of his shirt as he whipped around to find Kai standing there laughing.
“What?” Soobin asked as he looked down at his wet shirt. Kai just sighed, “Nevermind, go clean your shirt.”
If Soobin was mean, he would’ve smacked the kid upside the head but he was nice and nice people only attack with pillows and there’s no pillows close enough to use. He’ll get Kai back soon, just not now, now he has to clean his shirt. He looked back to you and Yeonjun as if making sure there wasn’t any funny business and practically ran to go clean himself off.
He skipped past the line to the bathroom and walked down to the end of the hall where he knew Beomgyu’s room was. His friend was throwing the party anyway and though the room was off limits, he would understand. Soobin rummaged through his closet and went straight to his bathroom so he could at least wipe off some of the intense smell of alcohol, hurrying himself along so he can watch Yeonjun.
The music from the party was loud enough for him to hear a muffled version of it even hidden away in Beongyu’s bathroom and that made him feel nervous. While he’s in here cleaning off the stench of liquor, you were probably out there surrounded by guys hitting on yo—“Ow!”
Soobin’s head whipped back with a loud thud and his hands immediately flew to his nose as pain shot right through it. The person who pushed the door open stood there in shock, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Bin?”
A pool of red began to fill his cupped hands and he moved over the bathroom sink with a groan. You visibly cringed as he moved around you and reached for the toilet paper as you stood there shocked, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, I—oh my god.”
He finally looked over at you, heart racing as he pulled the paper towel away, blood beginning to dribble again, “Y/n?”
“Soobin, I’m sorry, I saw you come over here and I wanted to sneak up on you but,” your face cringed, “Soobin please, you’re still bleeding.”
“Oh right,” Soobin held the paper towel to his nose again.
“It’s a lot of blood,” you said apologetically, “I’m sorry, Soobin.”
“It’s fine, this happens all the time,” he waved you off with a bloody hand and you bit down on your bottom lip looking hurt, “No it doesn’t, I’m so sorry.”
You sniffled a bit as you looked at your reflection in the mirror while Soobin carefully wiped off whatever mess was left until it was all clean. You struggled to look at him and his red nose even if he was completely clean but he didn’t even notice. He was more excited that you came to see him instead of staying out there with other guys, “So you wanted to sneak up on me?”
“Well you had been staring at me all night and I was just gonna see if you would say hello. I should’ve just waited outside, this is awkward right?” You were rambling a bit but he just smiled lovingly.
He shook his head no as the two of you left the bathroom, “No, not awkward, right? I wanted to say hi but you were busy.”
“Busy?” Your brows furrowed in confusion, “What do you mean?”
You weren’t busy, you were just talking to your friends. Nothing you talked about was serious or anything you just talked about Soobin, he could’ve said hi at any time. Soobin’s smile dropped, going serious for a moment, “Yes you were, with Yeonjun, I saw.”
You blinked in thought, “We were just talking, you could’ve come over any time.”
He released a deep sigh, looking around the dark bedroom happy that it was just two despite the dozens of people out there getting drunk with loud music. Letting his gaze fall back on you, he made a small pout, “Well, how was I supposed to know that? Last time you got me in trouble for not leaving you alone when you’re with Yeonjun an—“
“Soobin, that was just when we were studying, I didn’t realize you were thinking I meant all the time,” you said apologetically. Soobin stepped closer to you, “I was just trying to be good and listen. If I knew then I would have pulled you away the second I saw Yeonjun even come close to you!”
You looked genuinely taken back by his tone, if you didn’t know any better you would say that he almost sounded jealous. Even the look in his eye made it seem like he wasn’t happy and you weren’t used to this at all. The other day when you talked to Yeonjun for the first time, Soobin stormed up to you and took you by surprise when he appeared behind you, so close that you felt his breath on your shoulder.
Now you’re starting to see that it was possibly all because of jealousy.
“Are you jealous of Yeonjun?” You asked him and he audibly scoffed.
He was not jealous of Yeonjun. He didn’t think Yeonjun was better than him, if anything he thought they were pretty much on the same level of attractiveness. Yeonjun was more extroverted than he was but Soobin wasn’t worried about that. He didn’t feel so insecure over things like that so no, he’s not jealous.
He’s possessive. Soobin knows you aren’t dating and he knows that you probably still don’t like him yet but… but you’re his. He’s already called dibs, he’s already put in so much work to make that happen. Obviously he’s not going to be happy if your attention strays away from him, he wants you looking at him and thinking about him all the time, the way he does about you.
“No,” Soobin finally said, “But… but you’re… yknow, you’re mi—“
“Why are you in my shirt?” Beomgyu asked as his bedroom door opened and he stood in the entrance. He looked between you in surprise, “Wait, am I interrupting something?”
You stood there in shock, you weren’t sure what he was about to say but part of you also felt like you had an idea. It really did seem like you had an idea. After all your friends have basically instilled it in your head that he might like you it wasn’t hard to guess what he was going to say but you just can’t bring yourself to fully believe it yet. He was so nice, you can see it now so you just felt bad to think that he might like you after you were mean to him at times. To make things worse, he seemed to be totally okay with you always snapping on him or just ignoring him and you just felt bad because you were genuinely starting to fall for him and you can admit that now.
Soobin shook his head no. He had been watching you the entire time and he can just tell you’re overwhelmed by something right now. He just smiled cutely, “I had to borrow your shirt because mine got wet, sorry?”
You looked up at him, and he smiled wider, eyes crinkling, “I think I’m gonna head home now but I’ll text you.”
Soobin said goodbye to you and Beomgyu and before you could make your leave, Beomgyu pulled you back in, “What happened? What were you guys doing? Were you making out? Ew, oh my god please don’t tell me if you did anything on my bed.”
“What are you talking about?” You asked, clearly thrown off, “No, we were just talking, if you hadn’t interrupted then I would have known what he was going to say.”
He gasped, “I didn’t interrupt, you’re in my room, remember? And why didn’t you just go with him, you like him too.”
You bit your lip, “How do I tell him? I just missed my chance.”
“I don’t know, you’ll probably just have to show him.”
When Monday came you went over to Soobin’s place for your usual study lessons. After the party the two of you have been texting but it wasn't about anything deep. It’s like you were tip toeing around a possible confession that neither of you wanted to do through text. After your last class he invited you over with the intention to just be straight forward and hope that you would want him but he’s still a little scared.
If you tell him you hate him he thinks he might cry so he’s been trying to seem cool and collected this entire time.
He fidgeted in his desk chair as he watched you take your laptop out. With a clear of his throat he stood up, “Um, do you want water? I can get us some.”
“Sure, where is your textbook? I forgot mine.”
He pointed to his backpack and let you get it as he left for the kitchen. Without a single thought, you reached for his huge backpack in search of a familiar textbook. Once you found the book you pulled it out of his overly stuffed bag accidentally bringing a few papers with it too and as you looked them over, your eyes widened.
CHOI SOOBIN
SCORE: 65
You didn’t think about it for a second, he’s been showing his assignment scores and it has been improving little by little bit as you took a closer look you could clearly see a layer of whiteout and the score 98, crossed off. It made your brows furrow in confusion and you looked at the pages finding answers erased and replaced with wrong ones crossed out in red.
It’s like he was purposely grading himself bad and as you put the papers back away you realized why. He asked you to tutor him and you never understood that. He was always smarter than you so you couldn’t wrap your head around why he asked you of all people to help him. Even when it came down to the actual study sessions, Soobin always got things right away and very rarely struggled to find an answer but then he would come to you and quickly show you his bad score and ask for your help again.
Sometimes, studying was the last thing on his agenda when he was with you and you always found him distracted and not fully listening so now you know he’s been lying to you. He lied to get you to study with him yet all you’ve seen was him stare at your boobs, get clingy, and pretend to get bad grades.
Was all this just a little scheme to get you to hang out with him? If that’s the case then did he really like you and expect you never to find out?
Sure, you’ve come to realize that you like him too but for him to go this far just for you to talk to him… well, you’re not all that happy about it. Did he expect you never to find out and now that you have what was your plan?
Soobin came in with a smile on his face, “I brought snacks.”
“Mhm,” you said, moving to sit on his bed and away from his backpack, “Let’s work on the bed today, I wanna get comfortable.”
He watched you make yourself on his bed and all he could focus on was the way your skirt fluttered around your legs exposing more of your thighs and when he looked up at you, your eyes were already on him, catching him red handed in the act of checking you out. This time around you smirked a bit now knowing that he’s been lying this whole time just to get you to hang out with him. It was cute and he was cute so you can’t be mad but at the same time, he was very bold in getting mad when you had to study with Yeonjun, made you feel guilty too. You gotta let him know you know about his lie but you’re working up a plan.
It’s not no surprise that he likes you, that has become painfully obvious and you like him too but you want to get him in trouble. He lied and he thought you would never find out. How long did he plan on keeping this up? He’s gotta get in trouble, right? Maybe a little teasing, just to see if this really was all just to study or for him to get a good look at you when you’re alone together. It’s not like you never noticed the way his eyes would trace down your body while you’re trying to do homework.
If you’re going to tell him you know about his lie, you’re going to make it fun.
“O—okay,” Soobin stuttered as he sat down with a foot of space between you, “I mean, yeah cool.”
You smiled at his awkwardness, now you can see that he’s not as cold as he wants to to think he is and it only makes him look cuter.
The two of you studied for a bit, you couldn’t come right out and tell him you knew the truth, where was the fun in that? You had to play along a bit and see how he would take it so that’s what you did.
“Soobin, you keep getting the answer wrong and I’m starting to get annoyed,” you said as you watched him hesitate over the right answer before choosing the wrong one, eyes sliding over to look at you every now and then. You were wearing a low cut top again and matched with your miniskirt it was getting hard for him to not get distracted and the two of you are alone in his bed… he just can’t focus.
“Sorry, Y/n,” his eyes lingered on your thighs a little longer than usual and you subconsciously unwrapped them a little, the small gap from where the skirt ended and what covered your underwear, slowly widened. You released a heavy sigh, “Why are you so distracted?”
At that his eyes seemed to fall toward your cleavage, catching himself in the act of staring and looked back down, “I don’t know.”
You had to bite back a smirk and without any hesitation, you moved closer to his side, “Do I need to punish you? Will that get you to pay attention?”
You were half joking but tempted to see what he would say and you could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he seemed to become mush at your words, “H-how?”
You released a deep sigh, “How? That’s the wrong answer, I shouldn’t have to punish you. You should say, ‘Okay, Y/n, I’ll pay attention.’ What are you? A perv?”
Soobin went quiet at that and for a second you thought you might’ve said the wrong thing. His face flushed red and he looked down at his lap sadly but before you could apologize for asking him that, he said, “Maybe.”
“Maybe? So you’re a perv?” Your brows raised in surprise, “You want me to punish you?”
He gave a subtle nod of his head making you grow quiet, well this just got interesting. With a huff, pretending to be annoyed, you shifted even closer taking his hand in yours and pulling it to write on his paper with yours over his, “Start writing.”
“What am I writing?”
“Write: I am a liar and a perv,” you said jokingly and he looked up at you cutely so you helped him write, “I lied to Y/n about needing help, and I can’t stop staring at her boobs.”
His hand froze up mid sentence, “Y/n, how’d you find out?”
You smiled, he didn’t even bother hiding it this time, “Because I found your exam scores, you’ve been lying to me Soobin, after telling me nonstop how good you are,” you said with a stern voice.
“Are you mad?” He asked shyly. You released a sigh, pretending to contemplate, “Maybe? Are you going to listen and pay attention from now on?”
He nodded his head, watching curiously as you moved to sit behind him, turning to stare at you but you snapped your fingers forcing him to look forward again. You scooted close until your legs were spread around his big frame with your breasts pressed against his back that had his breath hitching in surprise. They already felt squishy and your arms moved to hug his waist. Soobin sucked in a breath when your hands rested on his thighs and he immediately looked down, already feeling himself begin to fidget in excitement and nervousness.
“I want you to read the question, and tell me the answer, I know you know it,” you said, making him nod his head, throat too dry to give you a verbal response, “But since you’re a perv, I’m not going to make it easy for you, I’m gonna touch you and if you stop, I stop, got it?”
As if to further explain what you meant, your hand moved toward his groin area making him breath heavier, “Mhm.”
“Yes or no.”
“Yes,” he sighed, “I’ll listen.”
His head tilted to the side when you began to teasingly touch the zipper, slowly pulling it down and undoing the button of his jeans, “Start reading.”
Soobin swallowed dryly, unable to help himself from thinking about the fact that you’re brakes today, he could practically feel your nipples against his back and when your hand ran over the expanse of his growing length, he couldn’t find the right word. You were a little surprised to feel his immediate response to your touch, already feeling him harden before you even did anything and you smiled, “I said, start reading.”
“Mhm,” he hummed with a nod of his head, blinking to try and collect his thoughts, “First question, When a gene is expressed, it means that the protein—ohh.”
His breath hitched in surprise as your hand wrapped around his clothed cock feeling him just continue to get more erecting. You even gave it a little squeeze, “Did I say stop? No, so keep going.”
“Mhm, protein that it codes for is being made by transcription and translation…” his word slowly when your thumb circled around his tip, still not touching him under his briefs, teasing him, “Imagine two genes in a eukaryote. One is gene X. The other is gene A—Y/n, I can’t focus.”
“So did you lie to me again?” You asked, finally sneaking your hand under the waistband or his briefs, “You said you would listen and pay attention.”
Your fingers wrapped around his thick length giving him a soft and teasing stroke, feeling his dick twitch instantly as he nodded his head. The words were bef ninny to get blurry when your palm hugged the head of his cock, twisting your wrist and smearing it in his own precum, surprised that it was already leaking. Soobin licked his dry lips trying to focus again, “In the cells you are studying, gene X is being expressed, and gene A is not being expressed—oh my god.”
He stopped when he felt you lean further against him, soft lips pressing a gentle kiss against his neck, fingers brushing along the underside of his tip and he couldn’t help but buck his hips just a little. You pulled his cock out of his underwear, “You still haven’t even finished reading the first question.”
“I’m trying,” he released a moan, “But it’s so hard, Y/n.”
You glanced down at his dick over his shoulder, nearly joking and asking if he meant his dick or the action. The head was red with need and precum leaked from the tip with a thick vein nearly throbbing everytime your hand stroked him. You gave him a small squeeze hearing him moan freely, “Keep going.”
With an annoyed groan he nodded, still waiting a moment when you began to pump his length using his own excess precum to lubricate him for an easier slide. He attempted to pick up where he left off, “—and gene A is not being expressed—ngh. Which prediction below is most likely true in these cells?”
You kissed his neck again, “Now what’s the answer?”
He released a throaty moan that made you suck harshly against his neck with the vibrations of it, stroking faster, squeezing at his base and flicking your wrist around his tip, unable to ignore the way he raised his hips to fuck into your fist. You put your legs on to of his lap to keep him from bucking, holding him in place, “I’m waiting.”
His head lolled to the side, hissing in pain when you stopped, tightening your fist and looked at him expectantly. He had to use his stupid brain, “Ugh, i—it’s B. There are more activa—oh my god—activators for gene X than for gene A.”
Your tongue licked a long stripe toward his ear, sucking on his ear lobe as you said, “Good boy, Soobin, next one.”
“Mhm,” he whined, feeling his heart leap at the name, “Good boy,” he repeated to himself. Unable to help himself he turned his head to look at you, big sparkly eyes staring into yours and without much thought, you leaned forward, letting your tongue slide into his mouth, never once stopping the jerking of his cock until finally… you felt it.
It was a complete overflow of warmth, thick and creamy cum that wouldn’t stop leaking from his tip as he threw his head back with a loud moan, hips lifting up even with your legs holding him down. It felt never ending, your fist was completely covered in his cum and it drenched his jeans and boxers, you were genuinely surprised. You didn’t know someone could cum this much from a simple handjob.
Soobin released a dry groan as you finally freed yourself from the absolute puddle of cum, looking down at the white cream that coated your fingers, letting him go and watching him fall limp against you. His chest rose and fell with each heavy breath and he looked absolutely fucked out that you allowed him to lie down as you pushed the textbooks off the bed, wiping your hand against his own jeans, tugging them off, “Soobin.”
“Mm,” he hummed, looking completely zoned out but let you undress him. You clicked your tongue, climbing on top of his spent cock watching it twitch with life as you sat down, “Did I tell you to cum, bunny?”
His lip quivered as he looked at you, wordlessly shaking his head no. You released a deep sigh, “So you weren’t listening? Is that good or bad?”
“Bad,” he said sadly, “B—but I couldn’t Y/n, I—“
“You what?” You asked teaching for the end of your shirt, “You just thought to cum soon, like a dumb virgin?”
He stayed quiet, watching and feeling completely hypnotized by the sight of your bare breasts for his eyes only, finally. They were just how he imagined, big and soft with nipples he could see harden under his intense gaze. He was so lost in the sight that he absentmindedly said, “Yes.”
You seemed to stop as you flung your shirt to the floor, only wearing your small miniskirt, “Yes what?”
“Dumb virgin—“
“What?” You asked suddenly watching his face redden and you felt goosebumps raise on your skin, “Are you saying… are you a virgin?”
He nodded blankly, eyes on your boobs and nothing else, his cock coming back to life, “Mhm.”
“Oh my god,” you nearly jumped off his lap but his hands moved so fast to hold you by the waist and stop you. Your eyes widened, “Soobin, I—are you—oh my god, is this your first time getting a handjob?”
He blushed, nodding his head shyly, hands unable to stop themselves from sliding up your sides until they were just under the curves of your tits, thumbs nearly touching, “Yes and my first kiss, bu—“
“I am so sorry,” you tried to move but his hands were suddenly cupping your breasts, a blank expression on his face as he stared at them in awe, catching a feel while you tried apologizing, “Soobin, we shouldn’t. I—I—“
“I want to,” Soobin groaned, thumbs running over your nipples, “Please Y/n, I want you so fucking bad. I think about you all the time, I think about this all the time.”
You couldn’t help but grind against his naked cock at his words, “You do?”
His big hands felt good as they groped you, “All the time.”
It didn’t take you long to realize what he meant, a small smile on your face, “When you touch yourself?”
He nodded, releasing a quiet whisper as your nipples became hard pebbles that he couldn’t help but pinch, you smiled, grinding on his fat spent cock, “When you watch porn?”
Once again he nodded.
“When else?”
“Whenever you leave here,” he confessed, completely hypnotized by the bounce of your tits when you grind on his dick, “I tried using a flesh light but I’m too big, it always rips an—“
Now he was blabbing but it made you so fucking horny. He was big, too big to be a virgin and the territorial side of you was taking over. You’re the only one who’s made this big, stupid cock cum and holy shit, he came so much just from a handjob!
Feeling a bit more confident, he tilted his head cutely, looking up at you, “You’ve got big boobs, Y/n.”
“I kno—“
“Can I kiss em?”
Your eyes widened in surprise and a wicked smirk came to your face, shimmying up his torso, “No.”
His jaw dropped sadly, “Bu—“
“I got something better you can kiss,” you said seductively and he looked up at you with the cutest doe eyes you’ve ever seen. How could you ever dislike him? Just look at him.
“Really?” He looked down at the space between your legs, a thin thong right there between your folds and he could make out a wet spot. Licking his lips his big hands found your thighs, taking the honor to help you move up, “I’ve never, y’know…”
“I know, bunny,” you said even as he moved you closer and closer to your head with anticipation, “I’ll talk you through it bu—Soobin!”
A small squeal left your lips as he nearly knocked you forward, face between your legs, “Wait, I’m heavy, don’t do that unless you want me to suffocate you.”
Soobin wasn’t listening, his face was already against your pussy, nose brushing over the soaked fabric of your underwear, “Is okay, I want you to.”
He licks the wet spot on your underwear, lapping at the puddle with a moan, “Smells so good, Y/n, love it.”
You softly tugged his hair, leaning more and more of your weight onto his face and rocking, “Careful, okay? If it’s too much just tell me to stop.”
Soobin nodded his head against your clit, giving you a thumbs up before he completely yanked at your frail panties making you gasp as he tore into them. You yelled his name once more and he made a pout, “Sorry, they were in my way.”
“Slow down Binnie,” you reminded him, for a guy who’s never done it he seemed so experienced. Maybe it was all the porn he watched. You didn’t have much time to dwell on it as his tongue began lapping between your hole and your clit, sucking on it like it was a fucking lollipop, swirling his tongue around it hungrily. It’s not his fault. If you weren’t so pretty with such big boobies and a big brain and a cute laugh… he wouldn’t be so eager. He felt the moment your strength dissipated, hips no longer hovering and practically suffocated him, and he loved it.
He got sloppy, wanting to stick his tongue into your cunt as far as it could go, bunny eyes staring up as you rode his face now, losing yourself to the feeling, “Oh my god.”
Soobin began a repetitive motion with his tongue against your clit, before fucking you with it, he spread your ass with his big hands but his eyes were on the way your tit juggled with each breath you took and he imagined your clit was a nipple. His cock twitched at the thought, legs moving restless against the bed as he tried finding his own release but he jumped bucked his hips into the air.
You were so close, so so so close, moaning like a bitch in heat and accidentally tugging on his hair too hard, but he didn’t mind one bit. He liked it, it egged him on and he made out with your pussy so good that you couldn’t hold back, cum spilling into his open mouth with your thighs clenching around his head. A low moan fell from his lips and as you tried coming down from your heavy orgasm, his own cock released another stream of cum. You turned to look at it, a puddle of white coating his stomach, culling untouched.
Your jaw dropped as he let you go and before you could offer up a break, he was flipping you onto your back, head immediately going between your breasts.
“Fuck,” you breathed out as his mouth attached itself to your left tit like he wanted to swallow them whole. His mouth was covered in your cum and some drool. His cock lay perfectly between your folds and you just felt how hard he was, bringing your hands to his hair, coddling him, “You love my boobs, don’t you?”
At the feel of your hands in his hair, he groans, teeth gently nipping at the hard buds, “Mhm. Love ‘em.”
“I know, that’s why you always stare at them, naughty bunny,” you teased, feeling his shaky inhale. He kissed your tits and sucked on your nipples as his erecting cock jumped your folds, “Not naughty.”
“Really?” You asked, biting back a moan when he shook his head against your boob just soaking in the softness of them against your cheek, “Just being a perv then?”
“Mm,” Soobin moaned, “Wan’ fuck you, Y/n, baby.”
Your brows raised in surprise as the pet name fell from your lips already feeling his hand sink down toward his cock while tonguing at your sensitive nipple. You couldn’t help yourself at this point, stroking your fingers gently over his nipples, smiling as he shudders at the feel, cock slippery in his hands as you said, “Fuck me then.”
With a quick nod he lined himself up, missing your hole a few times till you offered him help and moaned. His body fell against yours, not sure what to do as the tightness of your pussy completely overwhelmed him, face between your tits, tongue trying to lick you even if he was so far away. He whined, “Y/n, Y-Y/n, help—“
His words died when you grabbed his hips, guiding them back before thrusting them into your own pussy until he got the rhythm. You didn’t even think twice about the fact that you weren’t using a condom. You were on birth control and though it wasn’t fully effective it was safer than not having anything and clearly it was too late. You didn’t expect the virgin to have condoms anyway.
“It’s okay, baby, nice and slow—fuck, Bin,” you moaned softly. Where did this new Soobin come from? He was fucking you now at a steady pace dragging his stupidly fat cock out till only his tip was in and drawing his hips forward till he impaled you. His mouth lazily kissed at your breasts before moving up your neck, humping his cock into your stretched out cunt with moans falling from his lips repeatedly.
Soobin was gasping for air and his grunts became louder and louder, slamming into you like his life depended on it, “So good.”
“Yeah?” You asked, clinging to him, “Love your first pussy?”
He kissed you nastily. Tongue down your throat and you could still taste your cum but it only made you moan. He was fucking you roughly, nails digging into your plump hips making sure you couldn’t escape his brutal thrusts even if you wanted to. It was his turn to lose control and fuck, he was so close.
It was a scene out of a porn video, it reeked of sex and his bed sheets were completely ruined. His stomach was covered in his cum that just soaked yours from the way he rutted himself against you and it was just nasty and horny. You hugged him close, legs wrapping around him, tits pressed against his chest, “I’m close, bunny, you gonna cum for me?”
“Mhm,” he whined fucking you so good you were seeing stars. His dick was just so big and the girth on it was insane, he impaled you over and over again, “Gonna cum.”
You know you should tell him to pull out. It’s the right thing to do but…
But…
Hot ropes of his creamy cum filled your cunt suddenly with a cry as his body shook against yours. Despite cumming twice already it felt never ending and you couldn’t help yourself. The stimulation was just too much, his cock still thrusting into the wet space between your thighs.
Soobin sniffled, face between your breasts, clinging to you so hard you had to practically pull at his hair, “Soobin, bunny, I know it was a lot but you have to move.”
He shook his head, you could hear his sniffles get louder, “Don’t wanna.”
You ran your fingers through his hair, pouting when you found his reddened eyes, “I need to clean up.”
He shook his head cutely but he knew better. He slowly pulled out, watching with starry eyes as globs of cum left your pussy, an urge to finger it back into you strong but he let you sit up in shock at the mess.
“Did you lie to me again?” You asked jokingly but it went right over his head even as you said, “You don’t fuck like a virgin.”
“No! I didn’t! You’re my first, I promise,” he basically followed you out of bed, “Don’t leave.”
“I’m not going to,” you assure him, “But I need to use the bathroom.”
“You’ll come back, right?”
You smiled, “I can’t just stay in there, can I? Lay down, I’ll help you clean up next.”
He nodded his head tiredly, doing just what you asked as he yawned.
Once you were done, hoping you got most of it out you opened the door to his bathroom, nearly screaming when you found him standing just on the other side of it. You gasped, “You scared me.”
“Sorry,” he sniffles and it looks like he’s been crying, “Sorry.”
“What for?” You asked, trying to lead him back to his bed feeling sad. What happened? You’re not used to Soobin like this. You laid him down and joined him, “What’s wrong?”
“Sorry for lying—I—I—I just like you so much and—and,” he struggled with words and you pulled him in for a hug, his head immediately on your chest.
“Don’t worry, it’s okay, I promise,” you said, “I like you too, why don’t you try and get some sleep? It was a lot for your first time, I’m sorry.”
“I liked it,” he said with a content sigh, “Promise you won’t leave?”
“I promise,” you said brushing his hair back but he wouldn’t budge.
“Pinky swear?” He asked hopeful that you smiled.
“I pinky swear,” you said, kissing the tip of his nose, “We’ve gotta talk anyway.”
He pouted once more, “About? Y-you don’t like me?”
“Binnie, I already told you I do,” you said softly, feeling him relax, “But we need to talk about what to do, right?”
“Mhm,” he hummed, finally relaxing against you, “Want you to be my girlfriend.”
“Aren’t I too mean, though?”
“Yes,” he said cutely, “But I like it.”
::.
ok this took me forever 😭😭sorry friends but I hope it was worth it.
taglist: @laylasbunbunny @bangchansbae
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hyenaa-euphoria · 2 months
Note
I hhave three questions, if I may!
Does DogDay in the red giant au like, attack anything that is alive/that moves, or not? Like, if someone where to give him food would he attack them or?? Sorry if this question is dumb lol
This sorta plays into the third question, but do you have any tips on how to draw the smiling critters?
Do you have any tips making a smiling critter oc? I'm really struggling with coming up for a design for my one, she always ends up lookin plain/boring :(
HELLOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG
1 sort of…..???
He would rather snatch the food from your hand and forget about you than actually try to go after you!! It’s easy food after all!
And even if he did try attacking you, he can’t really so much, he has no strength left!
2 JUST ONE BUT YES
TEAR. BODIES.
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thats literally it. tear bodies. that how you can construct their bodies.. Play with that! Make different poses!
3 Of course! Here are some tips!!
NAMES-
Soo, i usually base my ocs on animal idioms, animal expressions, adjectives, etc. Here are some examples with meanings!!
Loan Shark
Moneylender who asks for a lot of money, usually illegally.
CashCow
Someone who makes a lot of money from a company
BusyBee
Someone who keeps themselves busy
KittyCorner
Diagonally opposite from someone or something
Sitting Duck(s)
Someone thats easy to manipulate, cheat or take advantage of
EagerBeaver
Someone who works very hard and enthusiastically
WholeHog
Do something to its fullest extent
GuineaPig
Person used as a subject for an experiment
Wild Goose (Chase)
Foolish chase for something unattainable
BlackSheep
Person who embarrasses a group for being different
One-Trick-Pony
Person with one great talent but doesn’t have much more to offer
Road Hog
Dangerous driver, someone who drives recklessly
TopDog
The most important person in a group
You can also take normal expressions that have certain words that sound like animal species! Take my oc as an example (Sir Bat-An-Eye.)
COLORS-
IF you are basing your little critter on a real animal, you could think, “Man, how do i make this little guy look more Smiling Critter-ish?”
COLORS!!
Take Bubba for example,
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He is an elephant! Elephants aren’t a bright blinding blue! Yet in a lot of cartoons they are represented this way because it is way more colorful! Sure to attract kids.
If it is an actual animal, search for some cartoon references of them! Maybe that can help!
Saturate the colors A LOT. Do you think kiddies would like an old, rusty, sad-beige-mom animal in their show??!?! Well- maybe…..🤔
But thats not the point! Make them bright! Make them pop!
Also, don’t always base them off of the animals ACTUAL colors! Give them different colors! If you want to make your alligator oc red because he lives in the depths of an erupting volcano then go ahead! If you want your parrot oc to be THE COLOR OF THE FUCKING RAINBOW then go ahead!! Who says they have to be the normal colors? Not me!
PERSONALITY AND ANIMAL CHOOSING-
Sooo… if you wanna be very picky like me.. then choose animals by how they would act in a society!
A hyena wouldn’t be nice! They would make fun of people, they would be rude!
A gazelle would be shy! They wouldn’t get their kicks from fighting!
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That kinda what i mean🤔
If you want an elegant Critter, look for animals that often represent elegance, like peacocks!!
WHAT THEY DO.
What would they do if they were caretakers in PlayCare? A therapist? A janitor? What do they teach? Think about that and maybe that will help you with their necklaces!!
If you need more help, ask away :p!!
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dead-dove-yandere · 2 months
Note
Hiiii~! I'd love to request a Mean Girl Yandere x Class President Darling.
Sure she acts out a lot, but only to get attention from you. But she really does hate it when other people take up your free time...
You can make up whatever name you'd like, also I don't mind waiting a while so don't stress yourself out.
Goodbye, sweetie~!
~ 💌
Hi! This one was fun to write! Tbh in my country, they don’t really have class presidents in schools so I wasn’t really sure what a class president does, but (in my school at least) they have something called a student ambassador which I think is similar? So I based it off of that lol. Enjoy!
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OC Intro - Cayce
Mean Girl Yandere
Female ♡ 18 ♡ Human ♡ Student
TW: Bullying, Stalking, Obsession, possessive behaviour, implied violence
♡ - You’re total opposites - Cayce’s rude, mean, aggressive, flippant and disobedient. You’re a role model, studious, a shining example to your peers - although she thinks that’s just a long way of saying that you’re a borderline nerd.
♡ - It was no surprise to anyone when you ran for Class President, and she spent your entire campaign rolling her eyes at your every speech - including when you promised to try and help struggling students improve their behaviour.
♡ - Cayce sneered - what did a posh goody-two-shoes like you know about her life? She was going to make you pay for trying to stick your nose in her business.
♡ - She started by acting out even more, disrupting classes she shared with you and trying to distract you from your work, hoping that would annoy you.
♡ - When that didn’t work, she just got worse, focusing all her ire onto you - calling names, yelling at you, occasionally even throwing pencils or erasers at you.
♡ - But no matter what she did, you didn’t lash out. You held your nerve and kept your patience, always making it a point to remind her that you want to offer her support.
♡ - Cayce can feel her face flush and get warm every time you tell her that in your kind voice. At first she thought it was anger, but then it slowly dawned on her that she wasn’t angry anymore. She liked the positive attention you gave her.
♡ - She was mortified that she might ever gain a crush on someone like you, and yet she couldn’t deny her feelings any longer. She swore to keep it a secret, yet she wanted your attention badly.
♡ - Instead of helping with her behaviour, you accidentally only made her meaner, crueler, snider, all because she knew that it would be the way to grab your attention.
♡ - And when she saw another school council member talking to you, getting too close and smiling too much, even putting her hand on your arm? Well, she knew exactly how she could really get your attention then.
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Personality
Cayce is fairly antisocial and despises authority and anyone she sees as an authority figure - even if secretly, she yearns for approval. She likes to be independent and in control, and when she doesn’t get the attention she desperately craves she’ll act out in order to get it. To her, good and bad attention doesn’t exist. As long as her darling is looking at her, talking to her, focusing on her, it’s good enough for her. She’s easily made jealous and her short, explosive temper means that jealousy can easily switch to rage.
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Dividers Credit: See Pinned Post
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bonny-kookoo · 3 months
Note
Off Duty drabble request 😄 I love reading them having fun together away from work, so maybe on OCs Birthday and Jungkook giving her presents with her getting super excited and her puppy side coming out more? They're my fav :)
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It's not often that you can just be you, off duty, nothing holding you back, not even himself.
But your birthday is a special day, one he always has you both take a day off to just do whatever you personally want. Last year for example, you had a full on spa-day; from facial treatment to massages and skincare at home, you'd been pampered to high heavens as a birthday present, and you loved every second of it.
This year, you've stayed home and had some visitors over, before you ate the cake and opened the presents you got- one of them yet another squeaking toy Seokjin had bought despite Jungkook's eager words not to.
But he can tolerate it.
Well, it's not really about tolerating it. But more so about what he gets to see whenever you get stuff like this- your carefree self, laughing, smiling, running after the toy Seokjin had been throwing for you while Yoongi watches fondly.
Jungkook's heart aches at the sight. You should get to live like this all the time.
"Are you okay?" Taehyung asks from the side, having noticed him go quiet. "You seem a bit.. in your head."
"Yeah no- I'm fine." Jungkook waves off, though he knows his friend doesn't believe him at all. The younger officer instead watches you just to make sure you're alright- always a little on edge, unsure why. He just can't shed it off.
"Jin said you two had some trouble connecting at first." Taehyung says, sitting next to him. "That you wanted to switch even. Is that.. still an issue?" He wonders, but Jungkook shakes his head.
"God no.." he chuckles a bit dryly. Absolutely no way in hell will he switch- the problem nowadays is exactly on the opposite end of the spectrum. He likes you too much- making it hard to stay professional and detached at all times.
"Hm. Well, she clearly likes you a lot." Taehyung chuckles, especially when you now visibly get too exhausted to continue playing, instead bringing the squeaking bear to the table Jungkook sits at so he can put it away later.
"Done?" Jungkook asks, and you nod, breathing heavily as he automatically offers you some water, a bottle you eagerly take after he unscrews the cap for you.
He's glad that no one questions him any further for the rest of the day, because he already knows how deep in he is. Especially when you fall asleep over his lap later that night after watching your favorite movie together, his heart breaking a little when he has to wake you up so you can get ready for bed by yourself.
But this is for the best.
The stronger the line between you two, the less it'll hurt when it'll be over.
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sarahsmi13s · 4 months
Text
Rocks Are Allowed to Crack, Stars Are Allowed to Dim
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pairing: jake 'hangman' seresin x fem!pilot!reader
characters: jake seresin, y/n nivans, the daggers, pete mitchell, penny benjamin, diego and benny harding (oc father and son)
warnings: 18+ MDNI, angst, language, ptsd, description of accident, panic attack, injuries, descriptions of scars, flashbacks, fear of death, familial death (mentioned), crying, bottling up feelings, please please let me know if i missed any
word count: ~8.0k
a/n: this has been sitting in my docs and on my wheel for at least a year (please forgive the awkward moments). so i figured i'd take a sliver of the wheel and make him a little lighter! i've also been in a funk lately, so i thought getting something out there might help!
quick summary: everyone deserves someone to comfort them in their time of need, even the ones that always lend their shoulder
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Ah, yes, dogfight football. Maverick’s way of creating a team. You play offense and defense at the same time. Tackling each other into the sand, sometimes into the water. It may be chaotic, but it’s fun and a great team building exercise.
Which is why you hated that you were running a little behind.
You sighed as you got out of your car and walked over to where Penny was sitting at the table. 
You placed your aviators on your head, “I’m not late am I?” Penny chuckled and shook her head, “Just in time. Want a beer before you go?” You shook your head, “Nah, I’m okay right now. Care to watch my stuff?” 
The brunette gestured to the items in front of her, chuckling, “I’m watchin’ everyone else's. I don’t see why not.” You chuckled and sat your wallet, phone, and keys down, as well as your sunglasses. You slipped off your shorts, folding them and laying them down.
“Nivans!” 
You turned at the call of your last name, brows raised in curiosity. 
 It was Maverick. 
“Hurry up and get down here!”
You turned to Penny, “This is gonna be fun.” You both laughed before you jogged across the sand to meet everyone by the water. 
“Sorry I’m late, Mav.” 
Maverick shook his head, “You’re not late, Rockstar. Can’t be late for fun.” 
“Not gonna take your t-shirt off?” Phoenix asked when you stood beside her. You shook your head, “Nah, I’m good.” 
Hangman sighed, “That’s a shame.” 
You chuckled at him and bent down to throw a handful of sand at him. 
“Watch it, Rockstar,” Hangman said, his voice light as he glared at you playfully.
“Or what, Hangman?” You challenged, eyes narrowed but a smile pulled at your lips.
Now, you and Hangman joked like this all the time. You considered each other best friends, which confused everyone else on base. 
Jake Seresin was an asshole. He was cocky and arrogant. You, Y/N Nivans, were not an asshole. Quite the opposite, actually. 
You were humble while still knowing your worth, but also showing anybody up if they proposed a challenge, and not being sour when you lost. 
Jake went out looking for competition, you let it come to you. 
You were also probably the sweetest thing to walk the planet. Most certainly the sweetest to walk the airstrip. 
You were nice to everyone, always giving someone the benefit of the doubt until they truly proved they were an asshole. 
You also took care of your team, they were your family. You always had the door open if someone needed to talk. Your arms were wide open when they showed up in the middle of the night because they had a nightmare and couldn’t shake it. You were their rock.
So, when you walked into the Hard Deck that first day of the Uranium Mission and hugged Hangman, everyone was confused — except Coyote who knew you from a year prior. But they didn’t verbally question you, choosing instead to ponder in private.
Hangman sighed, “Come on, Rocky. You're giving your enemy the advantage.” He tugged at your shirt and pulled you into his arms. 
You laughed and pushed him away by his chest, “You’re gonna have to catch me first.” Hangman cocked his head to the side, “Oooh, that’s how it is?” You nodded, a smirk playing on your lips, “That’s how it is.” 
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You panted as you used your shirt to wipe the sweat from your face. 
When you let go of your shirt you raised your arms, calling for the ball. They threw it to you and you took off for your endzone. 
You felt the sand shift and you knew Hangman was behind you. You had to get rid of the ball, so you called out to your teammate, “Phoenix!” She ran ahead of you and you threw her the ball.
As soon as the ball was out of your hand, Hangman tackled you to the ground. 
You laughed as you laid on your stomach, arms out in front of you. 
“What was that about ‘catching you’?” Jake grunted from above you.
You didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking. “Haha, very funny Hangman. Now get off, you’re heavy.” 
“First, ouch. Second, nah, you’re comfy.” You laughed and shook your head, attempting to push off the ground and basically buck him off. 
But, Hangman wouldn’t let you, laughing as he moved and made you fall back down.
In this new position, Hangman was putting pressure on a certain part of your back and panic shot through you. 
“Seriously, dude, get up,” you tried to say with a laugh, not wanting to sound rude or like you were mad at him. He just smiled and rested his chin on his hands. 
You closed your eyes and tried to control your breathing, but the waves hitting you pushed you over the edge. 
“Jake, get the fuck off me.” You didn’t mean to sound harsh but you were panicking.
Jake was surprised by your tone, along with the use of his first name. He immediately got up and held out a hand for you to take but you just got up and ran to the table. 
“Rockstar, where you going?” Maverick asked. You called out while still running, “I need a break for a minute.” 
You got to the table, “Is it unlocked?” Penny nodded, “Yeah, why?” “Bathroom break.” Penny just nodded again and watched you take your sunglasses with you as you jogged inside.
Rooster ran over and hit Jake’s arm, “What did you do, Hangman?” Jake shook his head, “I’m not sure.” He put his hands on his hips and watched you disappear into the bar. 
He felt bad, he wanted to chase after you and apologize but he didn’t know what he did. 
“Well, you seemed to piss her off,” Phoenix said, shoving the ball into his chest. 
Maverick looked at Penny but she just shrugged, meaning you didn’t say much.
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You ran into the bathroom, throwing yourself into a stall.  
You leaned over the toilet and waited to throw up. Tears had started running down your face the minute you stepped in the bar. You coughed and sobbed lightly as you tried to control your breathing. 
After a few minutes of that, the nausea subsided and you slowly stood to go to the sink. 
You turned the cold water on and splashed your face. 
“Shit…” 
You closed your eyes as the tight feeling in your chest loosened. You let out a shaky breath and looked in the mirror, cringing at the puffiness around your eyes. You grabbed your sunglasses and slipped them on before leaving the bathroom.
When you stepped outside you saw Maverick and Penny talking, and when you sat down they stopped talking and looked at you concerned. 
“You alright? Gave Hangman quite the scare for a second,” Mav asked, squaring his shoulders to you. You nodded, resting your forearms on the table. “Yeah, I’m fine.” You rubbed your forehead, “Hey Pen-” 
Before you could finish your sentence, a beer was sat in front of you, causing you to giggle, “Read my mind.”
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As he continued to play, Jake still couldn’t get over the fact that you called him ‘Jake’ during a day out. 
It wasn’t that you never did, but it was rare that you called anyone by their first name. 
But it wasn’t just that, it was the way you said that really made him worry. He had never heard your voice sound like that before.
He looked at you from his spot on the beach, noticing you didn’t come back to join in the fun. 
Hangman walked up to Phoenix, worried that he had really upset you and wanted help from the girl you were closest to. “You don’t really think I pissed her off, do you?” 
She sighed, “I don’t know, Hangman. Even if you did, I doubt she could stay mad at you for long. She can't be mad at anyone for very long.”
Jake nodded and watched you stand up from your spot at the table.
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You finished your beer and stood up, “I’m gonna head out.” 
Maverick frowned, “You sure you’re okay, Y/N?” 
“Yeah, I’m okay. I just really need to shower. I’ve got sand in places sand shouldn’t be,” you said with a light laugh. 
“Okay, drive safe. I’ll see you in the morning.” 
“Yes, sir.” You collected your stuff and headed to your car.
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Jake noticed you leaving and tilted his head, “Hey…” He patted Coyote on the shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” 
He jogged up to the table to ask Maverick if he knew anything.
“Is she okay?” Hangman asked as soon as he came to a stop. Maverick shrugged, not looking up at the pilot, “She seemed okay. Said she needed to shower.” 
Jake let out a breath, “So she isn’t mad at me?” 
“I didn’t say that. But as far as I can tell, she’s just tired.” 
Jake licked the sweat off his upper lip, putting his hands on his hips as he looked down. 
“Hangman, honey, just go talk to her. If she’s upset with you, she’ll be honest about it,” Penny encouraged, giving Jake a small smile. He nodded and jogged to go find you before you left. 
You were standing by your car, the door opened as you moved to get in when he approached. 
“Hey, Y/N,” Jake called as he walked over to you. You smiled, “Hey, Hangman.” 
Jake swallowed, “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I was just messing around. I did-” 
You held your hand up, cutting him off, “Jake, I’m not mad at you. I know you were just playing. But your tackle jump started my bladder and I wasn’t kidding when I said you were heavy.” You giggled a bit to show him you were teasing.
Hangman visibly relaxed at the sound, “Okay, good. I know I like to get under everyone’s skin. Sometimes I don’t know when to knock it off. I–” 
You held up your hand, cutting him off. “Jake, I can handle your teasing. Yeah, you can get a little mean. But I know it’s all a big show. Come here,” you opened your arms and made grabby hands at Jake. 
He just shook his head and chuckled, pulling you in by your outstretched hands and letting them find their place around his built torso. 
He rubbed his hand on your back, nearly missing the slight tensing right beneath your shoulder blades before they relaxed. His brow furrowed but he didn’t mention it, thinking that maybe it was you tightening your arms around him. 
He kissed the top of your head before you pulled away. 
“Geez, Jake, you’re sweaty.” 
“You’re not too dry yourself, Rockstar.” You laughed and playfully shoved him away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.” You smiled and slid into your car, “I’ll kick your ass tomorrow Hangman.” 
He scoffed leaning on the roof of your car and the open door. “Since when did you get so cocky?” 
You smirked and placed your glasses on your head, forgetting that your eyes could still be red and puffy from earlier. “It’s not cocky if it’s the truth.” 
Jake shook his head and looked back to the shore. “Uh-huh. We’ll see.” He leaned back and patted the top of your car. “Drive safe.” You nodded, and he closed your door. 
He watched you start it up before driving away.
Jake shook his head and made his way back to the group.
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Speaking of the group, they had all noticed the change in Jake when you showed up at the Hard Deck a few months ago. 
While he was still his cocky self, having no shame in bragging and trash talking, he seemed to tone it down when you were around.
They also noticed how he always made sure to find you in the crowd, keeping an eye on you. Coyote joked that you had Hangman wrapped around your finger, that he would be at your side with a simple look. 
Jake was painfully aware of the effect you had on him. 
When he met you a year ago, he was starstruck by your dazzling smile. 
So, naturally, in true Hangman fashion, he flirted with you. 
With a toothpick between his perfect white teeth and his bright green eyes shining under the yellow lights of the bar, he walked up to you. 
“I sure hope no one left you alone.” 
When you turned, eyeing him up and down to take in the uniform, beer bottle popping as it left your mouth, his breath was ripped from his lungs. 
“Well, you’re here now. I’m not alone.” 
Seeing your smile up close caused Hangman to blush, and leaving him thankful that his tan could somewhat hide it. 
“Well, ain’t I special.” 
You nodded, giggling while looking down at the bar, “That you are. But, before this can go any further, I’m gonna be honest, I’m more dedicated to my work than anything else at the moment. And I have to be up by 5, so I’d hate to lead you on.” 
Jake shook his head, but you continued, gesturing around the bar, “I’m sure there are plenty of girls here that would love to get attention from you and give you attention.” 
Jake smiled –not smirked, smiled– while leaning on the bar, “Well, the only one I want attention from is you. Plus, I can’t stay out too late either. Gotta be at work early too, so I guess we’re both clocking in early.” 
None of the feelings that day had been one sided. You also had been starstruck by Hangman. 
He was broad shoulder, tall, tan, and had a voice that could make a girl swoon in a second. But you knew he was a pilot, his uniform gave it away, and you knew how they acted. Except, you liked Jake’s company and decided to talk all night with him. 
Ironically, what you both did for work never came up.
So, imagine the look on Jake’s face when he saw you the next day in your flight suit. 
“You didn’t tell me you were a pilot.” 
You smirked, “You didn’t ask.” 
He shook his head, biting his lower lip to hide his smile but failed. 
You nodded to him, “What do they call you?” 
“Hangman. What about you?” You smiled, “Rockstar.” 
You were able to peg why he earned his callsign very early on but he couldn’t seem to figure yours out. 
Until he had a close call and couldn’t shake it.
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The last day of training had just ended, tomorrow you might not come home, and to say you were nervous was a major understatement. 
As you changed to get ready to go out with the squad, you couldn’t stop shaking. You knew you needed a drink… okay a couple drinks.
While you changed, Hangman was walking around, looking for you. 
When he walked past the locker room, he caught a glimpse of you reaching to pick something up.
He turned to walk in, but stopped when he saw that you only had your pants on. But, before he could stop himself, his eyes trailed up your back; starting from above your waistline on your pants and going up. 
Then he stopped, his eyes widening when he saw the large scar that looked fairly new – maybe a year or so old. It spanned from the middle of your left shoulder blade to nearly below your ribcage and was positioned diagonally across your back. 
Jake quickly looked away, realizing that you must have not wanted anyone to see it if you hadn’t told him. 
His brow furrowed as questions ran through his mind. Was that why you freaked out during dogfight football, the other day? Why you always tense up when you get an unexpected touch there? 
Shit… He thought, feeling like a horrible friend for never noticing and never asking. 
Jake took a deep breath and walked away, choosing to approach the locker room differently and pretend he never saw you. 
He put on a smile and walked back towards the locker room, “Hey, Rockstar! You almost ready?” He stopped just short of the door, leaning his back against the wall. 
Your head jerked up as you pulled your t-shirt down. “Uh, yeah, Hangman. I’ll be ready in a second.” 
You finished getting ready and walked out, jumping slightly when he pushed off the wall. 
“Geez Hang, don’t do that!” You punched his arm. 
“Gosh, I forgot how hard you punch.” He chuckled and rubbed the spot on his arm as you both walked to the parking lot.
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You all sat in the Hard Deck, drinking and playing pool.
“Dude, she’s kicking your ass!” Payback laughed as he clapped Hangman on the shoulder. 
You were, in fact, kicking Jake’s ass in pool. You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped as the blond narrowed his eyes at Payback. 
“Yeah, you feelin’ okay? You’ve been off your game tonight Bagman,” Rooster commented, smirking as he drank his alcohol. 
Instead of clapping back at the jab, Jake just rolled his eyes and lined up his shot. 
That made you frown, Hangman always had a comeback. Always had sarcastic quips to embarrass the other person. But he was silent. 
You made eye contact when he stood, silently asking if he was okay. He just nodded and moved to sink another pool ball. 
You didn’t want to drop it, but you did for the sake of having fun before facing the chance of death tomorrow.
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Sometime later, after a few rounds of pool and drinks, you all stood around and just talked.
“Hey, did you guys hear about that one pilot that saved her WSO’s life when they got shot down?” Bob asked, looking around the group. 
You clenched your jaw slightly, but not enough for anyone to notice. 
“Bob, that happens all the time. It’s kinda what we do,” Phoenix said, squeezing his shoulder. 
Rooster stood up and sat his beer down. “No, not the way this pilot did. Bob, I know who you’re talking about. I read the mission file, the only thing that was classified was the pilot and WSO’s names.” 
You swirled the beer in your glass, not looking up from the amber liquid. “Did the pilot survive?” 
When you finished asking, you looked up, trying to ignore the watchful eyes of Hangman as you met Rooster’s eyes. 
The latter nodded, “Uh, yeah. Yeah, she did. But she had a pretty serious injury. I’m not sure if she was ever clear to fly again.” 
You nodded and looked back down at your glass. 
“And the WSO?” Jake asked, eyeing you as you downed the rest of your drink before looking at Rooster and Bob. 
“He survived. But I don’t know if he still flies,” Bob answered. 
“Well, that’s good that they both survived,” you said, your smile returning to your face. 
Rooster shook his head a bit, “Yeah, but that pilot pulled a risky move. Saving some like that…” 
Your smile dropped a bit, “People have their reasons.” You raised your glass, “I’m gonna go get another drink.”
Hangman watched you leave as the conversation changed into something more light hearted. 
Jake took a step to go after you but Coyote caught his arm. “Hey, come on. Play me in a round of pool. Let’s see if you still got your game.” Jake looked from his friend back to you and saw you laughing with Penny and Maverick at the bar. That allowed him to relax a little bit. 
“Oh, I still got my game. Let’s see if you found yours,” he smirked. “There he is!” Coyote laughed and clapped Jake on the back.
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As Jake played pool with Coyote, you talked with Penny and Maverick. 
“Are you serious?” 
You nodded, laughing at Penny’s reaction to you telling her how you and Jake met. 
“Pen, why are you surprised? Hangman flirts with every girl,” Maverick said, using his hand to point the direction of the mentioned pilot. You and Penny both nodded your agreement. 
“Sounds familiar,” Penny says, a playful grin on her face making Maverick roll his eyes.
You had become so invested in your conversation with Penny and Mav, that you missed Rooster coming up behind you.
He placed his hand on your back, right on your scar, making you tense and jump in surprise.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya’ Rocky,” he took his hand off and leaned on the bar. 
“You doin’ okay? You seemed a bit…” He glanced back at the group, thinking of the right word. “...tense a minute ago.” 
You bit the inside of your lip, had you really been that obvious? 
Still, you nodded and gave him your best smile. 
But to him, he could see that it didn’t reach your eyes. He may not have been your best friend, but he had seen plenty of your genuine smiles and this one did not make your eyes shine like the others. 
Bradley decided not to press, “Okay…” He turned to Penny, “Penny, could we get another round?” The bartender nodded, “Of course, but you’re reaching your cut off.” 
Penny had set a cut off for drinks for the pilots not wanting them to go into this mission hungover. You chuckled and glanced back at the group, all of them messing around and having fun. “Yes ma’am.” 
You turned to Rooster and then back down to your empty glass. Penny hadn’t refilled it yet, having started a conversation with you as soon as you came over. 
You glanced at your watch, seeing that you had been there for a couple hours. 
Penny sat a tray down, placing the full glasses on top. “There you are, Rooster. Who’s tab?”
Rooster opened his mouth to tell her to put it on his, but you beat him to it, “Put it on mine Pen.” 
“You got the last round, Rockstar,” Rooster argued. You shrugged, “I don’t mind. Plus, I’m closing my tab for tonight.” 
“What? You’re heading out already?” You nodded, sliding Penny your card, “I’m hitting my limit, Roos.” 
Bradley searched your eyes for a moment, looking for any indication that something was wrong.
You were usually the one that made sure everyone was okay to go home and if they needed rides; so leaving early rung bells in Rooster’s head. 
Penny gave you your card and receipt, “Thank you.” “Thanks Pen,” you gave her a smile before turning back to Rooster. 
“Tell ‘em I’m heading out. I know if I do it I won’t be able to leave.” You gave him a one armed hug and turned to Maverick, “See you in the morning, Captain.” 
“See you in the morning, Rockstar.” 
Penny gently squeezed your hand, giving you a small smile as you slid off the bar stool and walked out. 
Rooster, Maverick, and Penny watched you leave the building before turning to each other, concern written all over their faces. 
“Is she okay? She’s been acting a little off ever since dogfight football the other day,” Penny asked the two pilots. 
They both shrugged, Bradley looking up at her. “I was about to ask you the same thing.” 
“I’ve noticed, but I thought it was just because Harvard and Yale had to eject the other day,” Mav admitted. “We were all a little shaken up by that…” 
It was silent for a minute. 
“You know… if one person knows anything, it’d probably be Seresin,” Penny said, pointing over to the pilot, who was very invested in the game he was winning, and basically suggesting that they talk to him. 
Bradley sighed, knowing that Penny was right and if anyone knew you the best, it would be him. He grabbed the tray, thanking Penny and walking over to the group.
They all cheered when he sat the tray down, taking a glass for themselves. 
Jake noticed that there was an extra and he frowned in confusion before he realized it was for you. 
He looked up, eyes searching for you in the crowd, panicking a little when he couldn’t see you, “Where’s Rockstar?” 
Rooster sighed, “She closed her tab and left. Said she reached her limit.” 
Fanboy frowned a little bit, “Why didn’t she just tell us herself?” 
Rooster shrugged, “Said if she did it would take longer for her to leave.” 
“Does she seem different to you guys?” Coyote asked, finally voicing his concern that had buit up over the last few days. 
The group shared a look before making small noises of agreement. 
“I mean, she’s still the same Y/N. Still lighting up a room and being there for us like she always has been… I just… I don’t know.” 
Rooster looked at Jake, “Hangman, you’re like her best friend, do you know anything?” 
Jake shrugged and shook his head, “All I know is she’s nervous for tomorrow and the accident the other day shook her up a bit, but she hasn’t said anything else.” 
He took a large gulp from his beer, hoping to swallow the confession of seeing your scar that he wanted to bring to light.  You trusted Jake and he wasn’t about to ruin that by telling the squad what he saw when he wasn’t even supposed to know it was there.
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Meanwhile, you walked the beach, taking in the fresh and salty air. You just needed the quiet time before you went home.
You sighed and pulled out your phone, seeing a text from Hangman and laughing slightly at the message.
Hangboy: Hey, I get that I kicked your ass those last few rounds of pool, but you could have told me you were leaving. I would have walked you out. Text me when you get home. 
Also, there was an extra beer. I assume it was meant for you, but you left so I drank it. Don’t worry though, I can handle it.
You shook your head and opened your phone, but not to text Jake.
You went to your contacts and pressed the caller ID, putting the phone to your ear as it rang. 
“Hey, Rockstar, what's up? It’s been awhile.” 
You smiled, sighing, “Sure has been, Tundra. How are you? How’s the little one?” “I’m good. Ben is great, he wants to know when you’ll be by again to visit.” 
You giggled at the fact the 6 year old wanted to see you. “Soon… hopefully.” “Y/N, I know that voice. Is it happening again?” You shook your head, despite the fact that Tundra couldn’t see you. 
“No, no. Well, sorta, but this is different Diego.” You heard him shift, presumably crossing his arms. “What do you mean?” 
You sighed, remembering that you couldn’t share all that much about the mission, even if he was former Navy. 
“I don’t know how much I can tell you. But I got called back to TopGun, and I could be flying out on a mission tomorrow. A dangerous one.” 
“Y/N, do they know?” 
You shook your head again, this time to fight tears. “No, but I’m scared that mid air, I’m gonna freeze. I don’t wanna freeze, Diego. I haven’t frozen since our incident. But I don’t know what’s been wrong these past couple of weeks. I can’t seem to shake off this dread… this-this fear. I do-don’t-” 
He cut you off, “Have you talked to anyone recently?” 
You were silent and he took that as a no. “Y/N, you have to talk about it if you ever want to move past it.”  “I did though. I had mandated therapy for my entire time in recovery.” “And have you been since you recovered?”
You threw a hand up, frustrated, “I thought I was past it! I hadn’t had an attack in a year, not until we were playing football. I-I thought it was just a one time thing, and then something happened during training and I just-” 
You were cut off by a small, tired voice. 
“Is that Aunt Y/N?” 
“It is. Do you want to talk to her? I think she needs to talk to you.” “Yes, please!” You smiled as you heard the phone go to speaker and then be passed to the little boy. 
“Hey, Aunt Y/N!” 
You smiled, tears finally falling, “Benarino, hey buddy.” “I miss you. When are you coming to visit?” You wiped at your eyes with a shaking hand. “Soon, buddy. Really soon,” you sniffled. 
“Aunt Y/N, why are you crying?” 
You laughed, coughing a little at the end, “I just really miss you Benny. I can’t wait to see you.” 
You looked back at the Hard Deck, seeing your fellow pilots laugh and sing. 
“I’m gonna bring a friend too. If that’s okay with your mom and dad?” “That’s alright with me, Rockstar. I’m sure Lila won’t mind.” 
“Who is it?” 
You brought playfulness into your voice, “You remember the pilot I told you about? The one that thought he could fly better than your Aunt Rocky?” 
The little boy giggled, “Yeah!” “Well, I think it’s about time you brought home the boy that stole your heart.” 
“Diego,” you hissed. “We are just friends.” “Mhmm, sure.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “You should probably get Ben to bed before Lila wakes up.” 
You heard Diego grunt as he picked up his son, “Goodnight Benny Boy.” “G’night Aunt Y/N.” 
“Call me when you make it back.” You nodded, hand sliding into your back pocket, “Yeah, of course. Night Tundra.” “Night Rockstar.” 
The call ended and you slid your phone into your unoccupied back pocket.
You took in a deep breath, trying to relax again. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In, out. 
On an inhale, the scent of smoke filled your nostrils and it made you hold your breath.
Quickly looking around, you spotted a bonfire a couple yards away. Realizing it was harmless, you let out the breath and tried to relax your shoulders.
But, despite knowing it was completely harmless, your body went into a state of panic. Your chest tightened, limbs went numb, pain spread through your back, and tears filled your eyes. 
You held a hand to your chest, the air stopping just before it made it to your lungs, and stumbled to your car as fast as you could, hoping you weren’t seen by your friends inside the bar.
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Jake looked at his phone as he left the bar. You hadn’t texted him, and by now you definitely should have been back to your on base bungalow. 
Hangman wasn’t going to panic, he knew you well enough that you would have texted or called him if something bad happened. Of course he felt anxious, who wouldn’t, but he was going to remain calm. 
The reason you hadn’t texted him when you got home was because the moment you fumbled yourself into your place, you booked it for the bathroom. 
Your knees smacked into the tile and you threw up whatever alcohol you had consumed before the strangled sob ripped itself from your throat. You crumbled to the tile as your chest refused to let air in. 
Your skin felt hot and sticky, sweat coating it as you laid on your bathroom floor. It wasn’t helping you, your damp, hot skin sending you back to one of the worst days of your life.
So, in a frenzy, you ripped off your shirt and kicked off your shoes and socks before yanking your pants off, not even loosening your belt. 
You crawled over the tub wall, too dizzy to properly stand, before fumbling with the knob to turn the water on. 
Once you got it turned on, you jostled the faucet switch, a desperate sob escaping as it kept falling down before it finally stuck, turning the shower on and drenching you in water.
And that was how Jake found you.
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Jake decided to stop by your place and check on you, that being his only option to get his anxiety to go away. 
When he pulled up to your place and saw your car there, he let out a breath of relief. 
He parked his truck behind your car and ran to your door, his chest lighter than before.
But his chest became heavy again when he made it to your door only to find it unlocked. You rarely left your door unlocked, if ever.
He cautiously pushed it open, looking around to see if anything was out of place. 
Your keys were on the floor, your phone and wallet not too far from them. 
Jake walked further in, making sure to close and lock the door behind him. 
He held his breath as he looked for you. But his search was cut short when he heard the shower running. 
He exhaled and had to take a minute to calm the drumming in his chest. 
He cautiously walked to the bathroom, making sure to knock before walking in. He kept his head down so he didn’t see anything he wasn’t supposed to… again. 
“Hey I was-” 
The door stopped, hitting something on the floor. 
Hangman squinted his eyes in confusion. It was your shoe. He kicked it out of the way and pushed the door open enough for him to just step in and close it. 
He stopped with his hand on the door, realizing that the room didn’t feel like a sauna. There was no fog covering the mirrors and steam wasn’t filling the small space. You always showered hot, and right now the bathroom was freezing. 
Jake finally looked up and saw you curled in the shower, the water cascading from the faucet and hitting your back. It was obvious you had been there for a while because you were shivering. 
Jake sat on the edge of the tub cautiously, not wanting to startle you.
His heart broke at the sound of your quiet crying and the puffy redness of your eyes was a sight Jake never wanted to see again.
The eyes that usually held the brightness of the stars and a kindness that was unmatched, were now red, distant, and constantly filled with tears that fell over and mixed with the water drenching you. 
He hated it.
Jake held his hand under the water and recoiled at how cold it was. 
“Shit,” he cursed as he quickly turned it off. 
When you didn’t react, he knew you truly weren’t in this reality. 
“Y/N,” he spoke gently and touched your arm. He sharply inhaled when he discovered how cold you were. “Y/N, darlin’, we need to dry you off and get you in some warm clothes. You’ll get sick.” 
Jake wasn’t sure if you heard him because you just stared ahead, biting on your nail. He sighed and pulled your hand away from your mouth. 
He moved to pull his hand back but you grabbed it, your freezing cold hand latching onto his warm one. “Please don’t… Jake, please don’t leave.” 
Your voice was quiet and broken, raw with fear. And he was sure that sent a shiver up his back.
Jake quickly shifted to kneel beside the tub, his thumb rubbing back and forth on your hand. “I’d never leave you hangin’.” 
He looked you over, “Can I pick you up?” You nodded, letting his hand slip from your grip and feel it wrap under your legs.
He awkwardly shifted to lean over and pick you up, grunting a little as stood up. He was too pressed about his clothes getting wet, he’s sure he’s got pants somewhere around here.
Jake managed to open the bathroom door and walked to your bedroom. 
He sat you on the bed and quickly grabbed the towel on the back of your desk chair. 
Wrapping it around you, Jake kissed the top of your head. “You’re okay. You’re safe,” he spoke gently against your hair.
He pulled back and watched you bite your lip to keep your tears hidden.
You avoided his eyes, looking at your shaking hands. 
“I’m gonna get you some clothes, okay?” You slowly nodded, lip trembling before you bit down on it again.
Your eyes didn’t follow him as he walked around your room, but your ears were very aware of Jake’s noises; everything from his footsteps to his mumbling. 
In under five minutes, neatly folded clothes were placed beside you and Jake kneeled in front of you, his large hands resting on your biceps gently. 
“Do you want me to stay while you change?” 
It took you a second to register what he had asked, but he was patient and rubbed reassuring circles on your arms with his thumbs. 
You inhaled, the familiar scent of his cologne calming you down a bit. 
You were tempted to say yes, you didn’t want to be alone but you also didn’t want Jake to see you any more vulnerable than he already has. 
You shook your head, unconsciously pulling the towel tighter around you. 
Jake noticed it and nodded, “Okay, I’ll go tidy up your bathroom and throw some blankets in the dryer to fluff them up and get ‘em warm.” He gave you a small smile and stood, leaving the room and the door open just a crack.
You managed to peel off the wet bra and underwear, drying off before changing. 
That simple task was exhausting. It felt like your bones had turned to rocks and your muscles no longer existed. But eventually, you did it.
You haphazardly dried your hair, basically just dry enough to where it wasn’t dripping, and walked into the small living room. 
You sat on the couch, deciding to occupy your hands with your oversized shirt while you waited for Jake. 
Minutes later he was on the couch beside you, wrapping you in the fresh-out-of-the-dryer blanket. 
“Thank you…” Your voice had a rawness to it that made Jake shiver, something was really wrong and he didn’t know how to help.
He nodded and rubbed your upper back, “Of course.”
He sat there for a moment, just listening to your sniffles and weeping exhales, before finally turning to face you. 
“What’s going on? ‘Cause this-” He gestured to you and your current state. “-is way more than just nerves for tomorrow.” 
“I’ll be-” 
“If you say ‘fine’, I swear,” he sighed to control his volume. “Y/N, you are not fine.” 
“Jake…”
The blond pilot took a deep breath, looking at the sliver of couch cushion between you. “I saw it…” 
If you weren’t going to be honest, then he needed to be. Maybe what he saw is connected to what was shaking you to your core all of a sudden.
He finally looked up at you and watched your breathing halt as fear filled your eyes. 
Jake continued, making sure to keep his tone even, “I didn’t mean to. I was just looking for you in the locker room today and I-” He stopped talking when you choked out a small cry. 
He immediately pulled you into his lap, one hand going to the back of your head and the other arm wrapped around your lower back. “I got you… I got you.”
Jake closed his eyes and rocked you a little as his mind went back to the day these roles were reversed.
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Jake had sat in the locker room, flight suit half off and tied around his waist. His knee bouncing as his eyes went in and out of focus. 
“Hangman!” You called as you ran down the hall. But he couldn’t hear you with the blood still rushing in his ears. 
“Hangman! Hang- There you are!” You jogged to him and saw that his emerald eyes were blank, not the playful or confident eyes you normally saw. “Hey, Hang- Jake what’s wrong?” You knelt in front of him, putting a hand on his bouncing knee to stop it.
Jake looked at you, the concern swimming in your eyes breaking whatever resolve he had left. 
The tears he tried so hard to hold in finally spilled down his cheeks. 
You instantly cupped his face in your hands, wiping them away, “What’s got you so shaken up? I’ve never seen you like this.” 
He shook his head, pushing your hands away as he sat up and leaned against the locker. “You’re not supposed to.” 
You sighed and leaned back on your heels, “What happened up there?” 
Jake wiped the still flowing tears, shaking his head, “I don’t know. I guess- Fuck I don’t know, Rockstar.” 
You stood, “Talk to me, Jake. Please, I’m your friend and I want to help.” 
Your tone was desperate and worried. This was a new version of Jake that you would have never seen if you hadn’t followed him off the tarmac.
Hangman finally got the guts to grab your hand and squeeze it. He took a deep breath as he tried to collect himself. 
“I almost lost you up there. You’re one of my closest friends, we’ve only known each other for a few months and I feel like we’ve known each other forever. I never let myself be that close to anyone, but you made it so easy.” 
His voice was raw and shaky. He was scared, but you couldn’t blame him. What just happened to you both was really intense and it was scary. But you were both okay.
You squeezed his hand back, giving him a soft but encouraging smile. 
“Can we just- Shit this is gonna sound so weird…” 
You knew where he was going, so you straddled his legs and wrapped him in a hug. “I got you Jake, I got you.”
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That was when Jake realized the backstory to your call sign. You were everyone’s rock. You kept everyone sane, even at the expense of yourself.
Which is why you were currently shaking and sobbing in his arms. You never sought out comfort for your problems, a bad habit you picked up in high school. You always put everyone first, and you had it in your head that you couldn’t be vulnerable. 
You pulled away from him, not meeting his eyes, “I’m sorry…” 
“Why the fuck are you apologizing?” 
“Because I-” 
“Because you’re being vulnerable in front of someone?” You nodded, unconsciously playing with your fingers. “Look at me, please.” You did, biting your lip to hold your tears in. 
“You are allowed to be vulnerable. You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to be scared. You shouldn’t have to hide your feelings from your friends. I’m sorry if we ever made you feel like you couldn’t talk to us.” 
You nodded, staying silent, focusing on how Jake had moved his hand from the back of your head to your cheek to rub his thumb back and forth on your cheekbone. 
Your silence broke his heart a little bit, making him think you didn’t trust him. But he knew he had to be patient with you. 
He goes to move his hand away but you hold it there. “I thought I was over it…” 
“Over what, Sweetheart?” 
“The accident…” 
Jake pushed some hair behind your ear, “What accident?” 
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as a few tears rolled down your cheeks. He wiped them away as he spoke softly, “Take your time…” You nodded, swallowing as you tried to catch your bearings. 
“A year before I was stationed with you, I was flying a mission. It was dangerous, but still fairly routine. On my way out, I got hit. It completely destroyed my weapons system. Before I could get back up, I was hit again. This time it took out my engine.” You took another deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. 
“We were dropping altitude fast and my WSO and I had to eject. We landed on a beach, we unbuckled so fast,” you chuckled, remembering the relief you and Diego felt before the shit hit the fan.
Jake smiled a little bit at the sound, but dropped it when you started talking again.
“However the jet had also crashed onto the beach too. The fuel had leaked and caused an explosion. I covered my WSO, and a piece of scrap metal lodged itself into my back.” 
Jake’s eyes widened, more dots connecting in his mind, “You’re the pilot the squad was talking about at the bar…” 
You nodded, wiping your eyes, “Jake, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It’s just… when I was in recovery, if I wanted to fly again, I had to go through therapy. And I haven’t had an attack in a year…” You got choked up again, hot tears rolling down your face, “Hang, I’m so sorry.” 
He shook his head, using both of his hands to wipe your face, “Hey, don’t be sorry. Do I wish you would have told me sooner? Hell yeah, but I understand why you didn’t.” You just nodded and relaxed into his hands.
“What happens when you have an attack?” 
You took a sharp inhale through your nose before sighing it out, “It depends. I sometimes get flashbacks of the beach, everytime I close my eyes I just see fire and it’s fucking terrifying. Other times, when it gets really bad, I can feel pain in my back, but that’s rare.” 
You bit your lip a little as you looked away, and Jake knew, “That happened tonight didn’t it?” You nodded, coughing a little bit, “Yeah, uh, yeah it did.” 
“Was it because we talked about-” 
“No," you said quickly. "W-well, I mean kinda… yeah. But there was a bonfire happening on the beach, and just the two things… my brain went into panic mode. Before you ask, I don’t really know what triggers it. But during dogfight football-” 
Jake’s eyes widened and he dropped his hands, “Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” 
“Exactly, Jake, you had no idea. It’s not your fault. It was just the pressure on my scar made me panic, and I was back on that damned beach. But I’m not mad or upset with you because you had no idea. So don’t beat yourself up, please.” 
Jake nodded, bringing you into a hug again, being mindful of the scar. “Jake, you can touch it. I know I’m safe.” He said nothing and brought a hand to run over the covered scar before tightening his hug. 
“Can you tell me about him? Your WSO?” 
You nodded, “Diego Harding, call sign Tundra. He has a wife and a son.”
“That’s why you-” 
“Yeah, that’s why I covered him. He had a family to go back to.” 
“What about you?” 
You sighed again, using Jake’s shoulders to sit up, “Most of my family served. My dad was killed in action when I was young. My mom died when I was a teenager, leaving Piers to raise me for a little bit. Then Piers goes and sacrifices himself… so I didn’t have anyone to come home too.” 
You shrugged and got off his lap, but snuggled into his side.
He rubbed lazy circles on your bicep. “Well now you do.” You looked up at him confused, “What?” 
“You’ve got me to come home to, and I’ve got you.” He placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Don’t get sappy on me, Seresin.” He just chuckled.
It was silent for a moment. 
“Promise me that you’ll do your best to fly back to me,” he asked in a hushed whisper as if he were telling you a secret.
“Only if you do,” you whispered back.
He held out his pinky, “I promise.” You nodded, interlocking your pinky with his, “I promise too.” 
“Can’t break that now, you know,” he chuckled, squeezing your pinky a little. You giggled a little before yawning, “I know, cowboy.”
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jeonqkooks · 1 year
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isn't it romantic? | myg (01)
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ENTRY ONE: Me Before You
⟶ SERIES MASTERPOST
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Many things in life have a polar opposite: left and right, night and day, yin and yang, you and Min Yoongi... Hopeless romantic meets gloomy cynic. The only thing you seem to share is a magazine column but even then, you still can’t seem to understand how Yoongi can be called ‘The Love Doctor’ when he is the antithesis of everything love represents.
pairing: yoongi x f!reader; side/past taehyung x f!reader
rating: 18+ (minors dni)
genre/warnings: coworkers to lovers, magazine writers au, fluff, angst, eventual smut; central themes of cheating (not between yoongi and oc), swearing (a staple in this household 😗), one bit is a lilllll suggestive?, mentions of drinking, i think that's it hmmm, barely edited bc u know how we do
word count: 5.1k
note: this is the yoongi brainrot speaking !!! the banner for this entry is one of my all time favorite pics of him and i will find a way to use it in everything !!! but erhm yeah iir is officially starting and i'm very curious to see what y'all think about it 😗 please like it haha jk no i'm serious please like it it's my baby
— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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I waste my breath on a prayer, you don't care, I was never a part of your plan, You can't make a God of somebody, Who's not even half of a half-decent man.
I Burned LA Down - Noah Cyrus
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Half your life, you hated blue.
You often associated it with so many bad things - loss, betrayal, loneliness. The great big storm. The end of life.
Most of the pigtails-wearing girls in your class disliked it because it was often a boy’s color. You hated it because of a stranger on a beach.
Then you discovered Blue Side (as ironic as the name was), the magazine that everybody and their mother was reading. There was this column - the Love Maze (as corny as it sounded) - that had your 15-year-old self hooked from the first article you read, “Flirty Pickup Lines to Text Your Crush”. It gave you a nice little distraction from the reality of your fucked up family.
You’d get home from school and dive right into it. You could count on the maze for a new article every day, covering all kinds of things - cute little quizzes, daily love horoscopes, relationship tidbits…
You started reading it religiously because it was stupid, and fun, but it was more than that too. They covered real-life stories of actual people, which you’d never really thought about. For the most part, it was tedious. Rekindling with an old flame whilst grocery shopping, accidentally spilling coffee on a stranger who then asked you out on the spot, etc. Things like that. You found them so… unremarkable. 
But then it went beyond that, when they told their stories looking back on years and years after that first happenstance. How there was love in the mundane. How there was love every single day, even on the bad ones. How there was a spark that two people cared for and nurtured into a warm fire that never burnt out.
How there was love.
How there was always love.
To you, that was magical. It was something you’d only ever heard about in fairytales when you were a kid.
You still remember the exact moment when it all changed for you.
You met Kim Taehyung during your third week at Blue Side, where you were a wide-eyed assistant editor who somehow wiggled her way into a position there, and he was an effortlessly charming graphic designer.
Admittedly, the first time that you two had ever talked, wasn’t under ideal circumstances. You were tucked away behind the office building, nails digging into your palms at 3PM on a sunny but freezing afternoon, willing your tears to stay where they belonged. You’d felt severely underqualified, like you were only flailing about, trying to keep your head above water but something kept pulling at your feet, not stopping until you were at the very bottom. People always talked about how your early 20s were the most beautiful and freeing years, when you could truly live and feel your youth blossom all around you. But that just wasn’t true. Those were the loneliest years of your life.
Taehyung had found you then, while he was out for a quick smoke break. He could’ve made a lame excuse and left, or simply pretended to not notice you were even there, but he stayed. He approached you and asked what was wrong. He offered you words of reassurance and encouragement even though you were nothing but a stranger to him.
You were touched by his simple act of kindness and his endearing smile. Maybe it’s because you’d never been offered much kindness throughout your life that his small gesture seemed like everything. In a way, it was everything. He looked like the kind of fairytale love that you’d only seen in movies, only read about in Love Maze. To this day, a part of you still thinks that you fell in love with him the very second he asked, “Are you okay?”
The timing felt right.
Taehyung felt right.
He, too, was like the sun in the middle of a cold and isolating winter.
You remember the color of his sweater, and it was then that you realized blue didn’t have to be so bad after all.
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[15:39] You: what r u doing tonight?
[15:45] Tae ♡: probably just head home after the gym. play a couple matches with Jungkook. hope i don’t die boiling water for ramen and hit the hay early
[15:46] Tae ♡: miss you :(
[15:49] You: thanks
[15:52] Tae ♡: mean
[15:53] You: lol 😇
[15:54] You: i miss you too <3
[15:56] Tae ♡: can’t you come back earlier?
[15:58] You: there’s only a week left. you’re a big boy, u can handle it :)
That was a lie. You were already on the train when you sent him that text, bouncing your leg all the way back to the city at the mere thought of surprising him with your early return. You’d taken a leave from work to visit your family, spent some time somewhere quieter, away from the hustle and bustle of the big city.
You watch as the scenery passes by, fast-paced like you’re in a montage. The rest of forever is right around the corner. You wish you could skip to your happily ever after and not have to rewind the tape ever again.
When the diamond on your ring finger catches the sunlight coming from outside the window, you allow yourself a blissful sigh as you gaze at the jewelry adorning your hand. But if you’re being honest, it doesn’t fit anymore, at least that’s what you’ve noticed over the past month. It’s a little loose now, not quite noticeable but you can still make out the slight difference if you concentrate hard enough. You should get it resized soon, maybe later this week now that your schedule has cleared up earlier than expected.
Three weeks is a lot of time to spend around only your family, you realize. You thought you could do it - seeing that you hadn’t been back in a while - but the second you stepped foot into your childhood home, you remembered what a dysfunctional household you had.
It was nice while it lasted, which wasn’t very long. You did all you could, bit your tongue and tried to suppress that unresolved anger until it eventually became too much to handle. Your mom has always been a complainer. Nobody likes talking about it, but she’d bring up the same old shit almost every day even though you all know what happened. Your dad would just sit there and listen as she berates him in front of you and your sister, and you suppose he keeps quiet because there’s really nothing to be said in his defense. It was his crime, and this is his punishment.
Sometimes, you wonder why dad still stays. Sometimes, you wonder why mom still lets him.
You just wanted to go, even though this was supposed to be home. You want to leave every time you visit, and it’s a haunting feeling that keeps following you around your whole life. Why is home always a place you want to leave?
When you arrived back in the city, the first place you went to was Taehyung’s apartment. You lounged about, enjoying the much needed silence after two whole weeks with your family, killing time as you waited for your fiance to return from work.
You thought about you and Taehyung, and how your wedding was only months away but this was still his place. You wondered why you hadn’t moved in yet, though it wasn’t for a lack of trying on his part. Even though you spent most days of the week at Taehyung’s, you still had your own place.
Twenty minutes before he was usually supposed to come home, you ordered from his favorite restaurant, so he would have a proper meal once he was back, instead of half-assing his dinner with flavorless ramen like he’d planned. 
But Taehyung didn’t come back, and the food has been cold for hours now.
You glance at your phone again.
11:02 PM.
No new notifications.
The last message you sent him was around 8:30 - just a simple Whatcha doing? - but he hasn’t replied. 
There’s a small part of you that goes into a dark place, and you physically have to shake off the thoughts. Taehyung has never given you a reason not to trust him, but still, the wandering thoughts can’t help themselves. Is it insecurity, or paranoia? Or have you been programmed to be skeptical after everything that’s happened?
Maybe he’s just caught up with work. Maybe the guys at the office had last minute plans. Maybe Jungkook showed up unannounced and dragged Taehyung into one of his shenanigans again. There’s a lot of reasons to explain why he isn’t home when he said he would be.
You wait for him. Sometimes, waiting is all you can do.
You don’t get any indication of life until some time after midnight, when the door opens and you hear him stumble into the hallway. The first thing that escapes you is a sigh of relief - relieved that he’s home, safe and sound, and not out there somewhere doing things you would really not even let yourself imagine. You sit there on the couch, shrouded by darkness, now even more committed to making him squeal out of his skin after (unintentionally) making you wait for hours like that.
You carefully listen to the sounds coming from down the hall, trying to time when you’ll jump up and shock him.
There’s his shoes dropping to the floor carelessly. There’s some shuffling as he moves about, navigating his way through the dark. There’s a light thud, the sound of something hitting the wall softly.
A sharp intake of breath. His familiar groan, muffled. A whimper, feminine.
Your mind instantly blanks, and that nervous breath from before has suddenly found its way back into your lungs, growing in size until you stand up and say, “Tae?”
Somebody shrieks, and it’s neither you nor Taehyung.
When he switches on the lights, you don’t know what to focus on first - your fiance with his shirt unbuttoned, red lipstick smudged around the corners of his mouth; or the woman next to him with her back against the wall, hair disheveled, one strap of her pretty blue dress pulled down.
Huh.
If this was what you wanted, then you suppose you succeeded.
Taehyung stares at you, eyes blown wide, mouth opening and closing dumbly as he searches for words. “Y/N, I-” he stutters, “w-what are you doing here?”
You’ve seen this exact moment in movies, read it in books and online posts on the Blue Side forum from people seeking advice. You witnessed your own mother go through it when you had just learned how to read. 
Your nails dig into the palm of your hands as you steady yourself. You’re not sure what your face is showing, if it’s even showing anything at all. You’re being pulled apart in every direction. Things that you felt as a child are things you never wanted to feel as an adult. It’s not until now that you finally understand why mom hasn’t gotten over it, even though it’s been decades. This is the kind of hurt that chases you wherever you go, never relenting until it makes sure it has a home deep within your bones.
You inhale a shaky breath, and take a step back when Taehyung starts approaching you. “Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he says, his voice cracking on the apology. 
You don’t want to hear any of it. You don’t want to be here anymore. For the second time today, you’re leaving home. For the second time in your life, home is being taken away again.
Somewhere in the back of your head, a tiny voice echoes, There it is.
You run out of there, feeling like the ceiling is going to collapse on you. You hear him call out your name, but his voice drifts further and further away as you move. Taehyung isn’t even following you. The faint scent of whiskey on his breath follows you out, but not him.
You keep moving until you’re out on the street, until you can’t even see the building anymore. You shiver from the chilly air, and the influx of emotions that threatens to make you burst. Lightning cuts across the night sky, flashing bright for a split second before everything dulls into darkness again. The forecast said it was going to rain tonight, you recall. Your phone in your bag vibrates the whole time, but still, no one follows you.
Your feet slow to a halt when the first drop of rain hits the ground. You’re not even sure how long you were walking, but now that you’ve stopped, you notice the shiver is gone. You’re standing completely still, and that those seismic waves in the center of your chest from earlier are nowhere to be found.
Oh. You’re doing it again.
Heavier drops start to dampen the earth.
You don’t know where else to go.
Not your own apartment. Not now. No, it’s too empty there.
Maybe it’s a sign from the universe, that you’re just undeserving of a place to belong.
You open your phone to find his name on your screen, next to the words (7) missed calls. You ring up the only person you can, and when she finally picks up, you say, “Can I come over?”
Even when your voice cracks, you don’t cry. The earthquake never comes.
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Sohee takes you in like the good friend she is. You’re grateful that she was someone you could count on to always have your back at work, who then turned into one of your best friends outside of the office too.
She gives you some clothes to change into, and doesn’t question anything when you ask if you could spend the night. Though, you have a feeling that she knows who this is about. She leaves you alone to get some rest, but it’s probably because she has work in the morning too, and it was already 1:30AM when you interrupted her peace and quiet with the call.
You don’t sleep a wink that night.
Instead, you think about your mom, and how she must have felt when she found out about your dad’s infidelity, time and time again. It’s true what they say, children really don’t know a lot about their parents. 
How did she feel when she first found out? You can’t imagine what it must have been like, going through all of that while having two kids to think about too.
You feel bad that just yesterday, you’d been so annoyed with her that you cut your trip short.
Outside Sohee’s windows, the sky cries, like it’s grieving in place of you, its tears drowning the earth in waves of sorrow. For a moment, you consider stepping out there, to feel the rain on your face and in your hair. But in the end, you stay inside, where you’re sheltered and dry.
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You don’t realize that the sun has risen until Sohee knocks on your - well, her - door. 
She cracks it open gently. “Babe?” she asks, tentative like you’re a cornered animal, ready to bolt at any given moment. “Are you up?”
You lie in her bed, feeling so foreign in your own skin. You reckon your eyes must be bloodshot from the lack of sleep. You haven’t even cried once.
“I’m alive,” you tell her, as you stare up at the ceiling. There are no stars here, just plain cream-colored paint.
“Okay,” you hear her say, then she pauses for a moment, clearly not knowing how to proceed. 
Sohee approaches you, sits on the bed, and gives you a smile. She pats your hair, and it reminds you of your sister. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong? I have some time before I meet Namjoon for breakfast.”
You sit up, reaching for your phone on the bedside table. It’s been switched off since you got here, and when you turn it back on, a flurry of texts light up the device until the screen lags. Messages from Taehyung, asking where you were, begging you to tell him if you were safe.
You open the texts to show him that you’ve read them. That should be enough of an answer.
You test the words in your mouth for a moment. “Taehyung cheated on me,” you say, thinking that if you verbalize it, it would be real and you would finally feel bad. That it was just a delayed reaction, that you were just too in shock to process anything. You want to feel bad, but it doesn’t work.
Sohee’s eyes widen almost comically. “Are you fucking serious?” she asks in disbelief, half because of the nature of the news itself, and half because of how calm you are.
“He cheated on me,” you repeat and still, nothing surfaces. If anything, it backfires. You can physically feel yourself doing it again - shutting down. “I caught him last night.”
You’re not sure what’s wrong with you. This isn’t a normal person’s reaction after they found out their fiance was cheating on them.
But.
It is a you reaction. 
You keep doing this, even when you don’t mean to. You ran away last night, and you’re running away now. Your body shuts out every negative emotion until you feel nothing at all. It’s stupid that you do this, and it’s stupid that you don’t know how to stop doing it.
Fight or flight, and you choose flight every time. Every single fucking time.
You wish you could give Sohee something, anything would do. Scream, cry, go back to your apartment to set fire to all of Taehyung’s belongings. Anything would be better than this complete lack of emotions you’re showing. 
You watch her face as it happens, things that you should be feeling but aren’t. She’s mostly shocked, angry, but not hurt. How could she? She wasn’t the one being played for a fool. You wish you could ask her to give you some of that anger, even if it’s only a fraction.
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You don’t see Taehyung again until two days later, when he shows up at your door. Even when he’s standing in front of you, words spilling from his lips like prayers instead of apologies, you just feel… empty.
You let him inside, and the second that the door closes behind him, you fill up with unease. All your walls are up again, your system on high alert. Everything in your body is telling you that there’s an intruder in your space. Your feet are ready to bolt, just itching to get out of there Go, your head says, you’re not safe here.
Taehyung approaches you, tries to hold your hand, but you just shrug him off. The man in front of you visibly deflates, and despite the way his face falls, you don’t soften. 
The first thing he asks you is, “Why didn’t you cry?”
“What?”
“You don’t look like you’ve been crying,” he points out. “Did you cry?”
Reluctantly, you admit, “No.”
Then he just stares at you. When his judgmental gaze holds yours, you feel guilty. Guilty that you’re not mourning the death of this relationship. Guilty that you’re just letting it go, but the truth is you don’t have any fight in you. You don’t see the point in trying to salvage what’s no longer alive.
“Do you even love me?” His voice is hard when he asks this, like he’s trying to keep his anger at bay.
“Of course I love you,” you say, but it lacks conviction. You both know it. The words sound so flaccid coming out of your mouth.
But you love him.
You do.
Did?
“Then why didn’t you cry?”
How do you tell him that you can’t? That you don’t know how?
How do you tell him that if you could, you would reach inside and claw out your feelings like digging for water in a desert. 
What the hell is wrong with you? This isn’t a high school crush, or a casual summer fling.
You two were supposed to get married, for fuck’s sake. You were supposed to spend the rest of your life with him. If there’s anything that could make you break through those godforsaken defense mechanisms to let the hurt in, it should be this.
“Did you kiss someone else just to see if I would cry?” you ask. Your voice is even, and you can see that it makes Taehyung more frustrated than he already is.
He grits his teeth, exhaling. You notice his blue sweater, and you stop him before he can say anything else. Obviously, it looks a lot more worn than it did back then, but over the years you’ve always found it endearing. It’s the first memory that you have of him. It was always something you could cherish.
Now, you can’t even bear to look at it.
It’s then that you realize it doesn’t matter what answer he gives you. Yes? No? It genuinely doesn’t matter. There is nothing that can make you see him the same way ever again.
You run your thumb over the ring on your finger, twisting it for a moment to memorize the feel of it. It’s the last thing that ties you to him. “You can have this back,” you say, handing the piece of jewelry back to him.
When a relationship ends, especially for a reason like this, people tend to think it’ll go down in a kdrama-esque fashion - crying, slapping, throwing water in the other person’s face. But that’s not what this is. It’s not cathartic; sometimes the end of a relationship is just a fizzle, doesn’t even make it to a fullburn. It might be unsatisfying, but it happens every day. It’s not always a pivotal point; sometimes it’s just a point.
Taehyung stares at the object in his palm. “That’s it?” he asks in disbelief. “We’re breaking up?”
“What else is there to do?”
“You’re not even gonna ask me anything? Who she was, how it started, how long it’s been going on?”
The other morning, Sohee had asked you to elaborate after you told her what happened, but there was just not that much to tell. You were there. He brought someone else home. End of story.
It was enough for Sohee to call him every name in the book and curse his entire bloodline though.
You suppose that’s a reasonable reaction. Taehyung cheated. You never thought he was a person capable of doing that. Three years of your life, down the drain. There’s nothing left to save.
“Okay,” you shrug tiredly, like you’re just having a casual and dull conversation about the weather. “Who was she? How did it start? How long has it been going on?”
Your name comes out of his mouth, sounding like a scoff. “Ask it like you mean it.”
“But I don’t mean it,” you say. “What difference does it make? Knowing doesn’t change the fact that you still cheated on me. You know what I’ve been through and you still fucked it up. You did the worst thing you could ever do to me.”
“Fuck, I know that!” he groans, throwing his hands up. “I messed up badly, and I’m sorry. Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry. I will never deny that what I did wasn’t wrong. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re to blame for this too? You never want to admit that it could be your fault too.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You tell me. I keep having to put up with your baggage.” Then he shuts right up, barely even makes it through the last syllable before he’s squeezing his eyes shut for a second, clearly realizing that out of all the things he could’ve said, that was grossly out of line. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean th-”
And now you’re getting angry for the wrong reasons.
“You cheated but somehow it’s my fault, right?” you snap. “Boohoo. Sorry that you’ve had to put up with me all these years. I’m such a burden, right? Fuck you, Taehyung.”
“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”
“I think you should leave.”
You think it’s the steel in your voice as you say this that makes him stop arguing. 
He holds your gaze for a moment longer. You’re someone who tears up when you see stray dogs, who cries alongside the fictional characters in your favorite show. And yet, as you watch your own fiance leave…
The door clicks shut as he exits your life, but everything he said stays behind, clings to your walls and festers like mold.
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The second you step onto the floor, everyone grows quiet. Lively chatter turns into hushed whispers. People go back to making their morning coffee, side-eyeing each other in a way that’s not meant to be very subtle.
You quietly make your way to your desk, all the while feeling the nosy pairs of eyes on you as you walk. You don’t know how word got out, but you were sure that everyone would know eventually. You just didn’t expect it’d be this soon. Sohee would never do that to you, and you highly doubt that Taehyung would go around broadcasting his infidelity. 
As you set your stuff down, you make eye contact with the new intern who sits a few spots away from you. You haven’t had the chance to talk to her much, but she’s a nice girl. She gives you a small smile in greeting, and even though you know she doesn’t mean to pity you, you can still see it in her eyes.
A minute later, Sohee comes up to you. “Hey, babe,” she says, leaning on your desk with two plastic cups in her hands. One iced latte and one mango smoothie. She puts the yellow-colored beverage down and nudges it toward you, a little lackluster and unlike her usual playful self.
“Thanks,” you say, taking the smoothie with a smile, commenting, “Interesting morning so far. Never thought I’d ever be the subject of office gossip.”
“Yeah, about that. Do you know who was Taehyung’s… uhm… y’know?”
It’s okay. She can say it. You can handle it.
You already feel nothing, and there’s nothing you can even do to rectify it. Might as well lean into it, right?
Or maybe you should just go to therapy.
“No,” you tell her. “I didn’t want to know.”
“Well, uhm, now that the whole office knows, I think you should hear this from me first…” Sohee bites her bottom lip as she gauges your reaction. When you only sigh and give her the go-ahead, she continues, “It was Yura from Marketing.”
“What?”
“Yura from Marketing. You know the one. Brought muffins for the whole office on her first day? A little too bubbly for my taste. But yeah, she was at work the other day and suddenly burst into tears at, like, 10AM, and that’s how everybody found out.”
Of course. Even though people here are surrounded by celebrity gossip on the daily, nothing beats the good old-fashioned office affair. Why bother with celebrity gossip when you have front row seats to live drama unfolding ten feet away?
You take a sip of your smoothie, swallowing down the inkling of irritation that tickles the back of your throat. “Well,” you say, “I’m glad the downfall of my relationship is like a circus animal for them to gawk at. Can’t wait until they move onto the next big thing.”
“Honestly, it might blow over sooner than you think. The Love Doctor is back today.”
“What?” Your ears perk up at the mention of his name, glancing up at her in surprise as you put your drink down. “Doesn’t he work at the Paris office?”
“He used to work here. We joined around the same time. Then he transferred to Paris a few years ago. Nobody even knows why. One day he just upped and left.”
“Why didn’t you tell me he’d be here? I didn’t have time t-”
“Calm down, sweetcheeks, I only just found out,” Sohee chuckles, holding a finger against your mouth to shush you. “We all know you used to have a major lady boner for him.”
“I do not.” You don’t even know what he looks like, just his name when it appears in the byline of an article. “I admire him.”
Which is true, you do admire him. He’s your own version of a freaking rockstar. Though, you have to admit that Love Doctor is a huge cliche of a nickname, and significantly reduces the scope of his brilliance. The way that man writes makes it seem like he’s experienced lifetimes and is now here to pass on his wisdom. 
He doesn’t feel like a mere magazine writer like yourself. There’s something in his words that turns you inside out, makes you experience things that you’ve never even gone through. He flows like poetry, and leaves you stunned every time.
Okay, maybe you do have a lady boner, but for his brain.
Which… is probably something you should never say out loud.
Someone walks in then, a man you’ve never seen before. He looks around your age, if not a couple of years older. He bypasses all of the other desks without saying anything, not a single Hi or Good morning. He doesn’t look like the type to speak if not spoken to.
Then he walks over to where you and Sohee sit, and sets his bag on the empty desk next to yours.
You look at Sohee, and she just shrugs.
It can’t be him. Surely, it’s not…?
“Min Yoongi,” she says in greeting.
Oh, it is.
He spares her a nod before he looks away again. “Sohee.”
Is that the Parisian way? Is that how people normally greet someone they haven’t seen in years? Sohee and him were only colleagues, but still, the least you could do is pretend.
You’re not one to judge a book by its cover, but c’mon, seriously? Were you wrong for expecting the person who writes about love in its most raw and beautiful form to look… not like Grumpy Cat personified? It makes you even more fucking intimidated. And he’s going to be sitting next to you? The fuck?
As he sits down, you blink, still a bit dazed, not sure how to process this. Sohee gently pushes you forward, which makes you nearly stumble right into him. You turn to her with a glare, but she just motions to him, mouthing ‘Go on.’
You clear your throat, wiping your hand on your pants before you hold it out. “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” you say, trying to sound as professional as you can. “I’m really looking forward to working with you.”
He glances at you, and reaches out to meet your outstretched hand in a barely-there handshake. “Yoongi.”
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— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 07.05.2023]
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allmyocsarebritish · 13 days
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stares at you with sad wet pathetic dog eyes
I've been dwelling on this for an oc but !! vox x reader where the reader is some sort of water creature/being and just 😈 ugh them being so gentle with each other but like little jokey threats from reader
unlikely lovers and just *screams into pillow* I love vox
- not Renée 🧡
Unlikely lovers
Vox X water based reader
Warnings(?): reader controls water, with demonic form of a siren, soft Vox, Vox overworking himself
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Hi *not* Renée, I really really hope I did your idea justice, it was so fun to write and I love ittt!!
Electronics and water didn't mix. Exposure to liquids damaged appliances, sending them overloading in an electric surge and sparks flying. It was a well known fact, but, in accordance with the laws of attraction, opposite charges are always drawn towards eachother.
Vox should have been more careful, knowing that you were destined to destroy him. But he wasn't, and now here you were, corrupting his system and turning him soft. The audacity you had to just waltz in and short circuit his brain, (? Monitor?) permanently implanting yourself in his kingdom of bits and bytes was unmatched. And the worst part was how much he enjoyed it.
For as long as Vox could remember, his status, image and reputation had undeniably been the forefront of his life, though it had become clear that you were toppling this. And, though he remained in denial about how extreme his affection was for you, it was clear to everyone who knew him. The other Vees, his workers, yourself, even if sometimes you did feel second best.
Vox was rather obsessive, allowing work to consume all of his waking hours, and though you knew that wasn't something you could change, you remained present throughout his long days.
Despite the long hours that had passed, Vox still showed no signs of putting his paperwork to the side. Your patience began to wear thin as he picked up yet another 'essential' phone call, and you became rather restless. As impressive as the corporate empire he had built himself was, the business was taking its toll, turning Vox into the living embodiment of stress. It was more than concerning, and as much as he tried to convince you he was not working too hard, you knew he had limits.
The sound of the phone call ending roused you from your thoughts, and you watched as his charismatic business persona began to crack.
"When are you going to take a break?" You complained from a chair in the back of his office.
"Just a second, dollface. I'm nearly done, I promise." Vox responded, not even sparing you a glance away from his excessive amount of screens.
"You were 'nearly done' over an hour ago." you rolled your eyes, slumping in your chair, staring at the back of his TV."Vox, I swear if you don't pay attention to me I *will* waterboard you."
You perked up at the realisation that your (mostly) empty threat caught his curiosity. He spun around to face you in his swivel chair, eyes narrowing slightly.
"You wouldn't." He spoke rather quietly, tone accusatory.
A mischievous smirk played on your lips as you sat up straighter, raising an eyebrow. Taking great care as to *not* splash your techy boyfriend, water droplets flung across the room from your fingertips, dampening the floor.
"Want to bet?"
Vox sighed and shook his head, getting up slowly and making his way over to you, barely suppressing the smile that made its way across his screen. You offered him your own, opening your arms for him to sink into. As soon as he complied, Vox felt the stress of the day begin to ebb and fade, melted by your anchoring presence. And though he was much too stubborn and prideful to admit it, your determination in forcing him to take breaks from his overpowering workload was comforting and much needed.
"Was that so hard?" You teased, hand gently drawing circles over Vox's arm. He rolled his eyes, though his soft smile betrayed the sarcastic act.
"Yes, unbearably." He rested his TV on your shoulder, feigning exhaustion from the effort of stepping away. You snorted a laugh and he brightened, allowing you to rest against him. You playfully, and gently, flicked his antenna, watching as it bounced back and forth before stilling. He gave you a look, taking your hand in his own, softly caressing it with clawed fingers, before raising your knuckles to his screen and pressing a kiss to them.
"What a gentleman." You joked, to which he shook his head, still smiling.
"Anything for you, sweetheart." He responded, sarcasm dripping from his voice to mask the genuine statement.
"Don't get soft."
"Wouldn't dream of it, darling."
Who would have guessed that the technology overlord could be so smitten for a water demon? It was inevitable that you would be his weakness, though what was unforseen was the fact it was in the best way imaginable. The other overlords may see his infatuation with you as a downfall and a failure on Vox's behalf, it was his strongest quality. You gave him a tolerance to water, hence the electronic sharks residing in his mansion. As unlikely as your love was, you were utterly enthralled with eachother.
Around you Vox held no real weakness, you were his strength, his partner, and all that really mattered in his afterlife.
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Imagine an enemies to lovers with tom
Where the oc is the lead singer of a another band.
Bill and the oc are really good friends because theyre both the singers and they compose songs together, and tom doesnt understand how he can be friends with theyre rivals.
(yo! This isn't really enemies to lovers but this is short and it sucks but I'm tryna write before every single bit of motivation leaves me! Hopefully these get better but enjoy!)
Not That Bad
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Tom didn't get it.
Tom didn't get how Bill, his twin brother, could be friends with someone who rivaled their own band.
Weren't they supposed to be competing?
So why was Bill always speaking of (Name), the lead singer to the band, so highly?
Bill would spend time with them for hours on hours, coming back to Tom, Gustav and Georg with songs they had composed together.
Sure, they're both singers and write songs, but they were competing against one another. How do you find time to be friends during that?
"They're not that bad, Tom." Bill laughed at his brother's eye roll when he mentioned a song he and (Name) had come up with.
"Why do you hang out with them so much? You act like you're in their band." Tom asked, confused as his brother shrugged him off.
Tom had seen you perform before, sometimes he even enjoyed a song or two, not that he would admit.
But you didn't have the same music taste, your style was different, your bands were polar opposites.
And from what he had seen from tabloids and interviews, he and you would not be friends anytime soon.
You were portrayed as an arrogant and rude teen on TV, but Bill tried to debunk that from the time he spent with you.
So how could Bill be so happy spending time with someone like you?
He didn't get it, but Bill was adamant that he was wrong.
"(Name)!" Bill called out over the crowd of people, catching your attention along with your band.
"Bill, hey!" You laughed, jogging over and hugging Bill as he hugged you back. "I didn't know you guys would be here." You smiled, pulling away to examine Bill and his band.
"We weren't supposed to be, we slipped away." Bill explained before turning back to his friends.
"This is Gustav, Georg and Tom." Bill introduced his band mates before your friends occupied his attention, having not seen him themselves a bit.
"Hi, I'm (Name)." You introduced yourself, smiling to Gustav and Georg as they returned it.
"You guys did a good set. Did Bill and you work on some of those songs together? They sound familiar." Gustav asked, being polite as he first met you.
"Yeah, he helped out a bunch." You smiled, nodding in confidence, happy to give your friend credit.
"You guys did great too," you said, turning to Tom who hadn't said anything, opting to stare at you.
"You're Tom, right?" You asked. "Yeah, (Name), right? Bill goes on forever." Tom said, trying to at least be polite.
"Yeah, you did great, you sounded amazing on stage." You smiled, Tom returning it finally, accepting the compliment.
"I tried to play once but I sucked at it." You offered, trying to make conversation before a playful smirk came on Tom's face.
"Maybe I can show you sometime?" Tom offered, following as you began to walk in the crowd, slipping his arm around your waist to stay in step.
"That'd be great, it'd be nice to get to know you since Bill says so much." You agreed graciously with a smile, looking down at his arm around your waist with your own secret smirk.
From what Bill told you, you basically already knew Tom inside and out, so you knew your way to having fun.
"No problem, you'll do great." Tom stated, his own smile on his face as he led you off towards the exit.
Maybe Bill actually was right, you weren't that bad.
Especially when you kept coming around, maybe for Bill, maybe for Tom.
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aohisworld · 4 days
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MAGNETIC PULSE! 02
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ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ ENHYPEN’s new co-ed group starts their first album, MANIFESTO. Aohi makes a mistake that allows Jungwon, to give her a bit of sympathy that she didn’t ask for.
ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ eventual poly!ot7 x added member!oc. (jungwon centric). contains. angst, a little arguing, a smooch, uhm cringe writing lol.
| : ̗̀➛ MINTIE’s NOTES: Jungwon chapter yippee yippee!! Also important announcement that my asks are open now, and I’d love to get some interactions :3 don’t be a silent reader! Reblog, comment, send an ask!!
| : ̗̀➛ WARNING! How I write ENHYPEN is not meant to portray the idols irl, this is my au and I write this for fun. contains angst and a little bit of bickering/awkward tension.
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✧. ┊ Jungwon was always born to be a leader, unlike Aohi, who just followed the crowd, Jungwon was born to lead it.
When he was picked as the best candidate for ENHYPEN's leader role, he was overjoyed, of course, but a part of him also wondered if he was ready for that role.
Jungwon worked to his limit to make sure ENHYPEN was where they were now. Aohi and Xiulin... he was stumped on what to do, they were suddenly thrust upon his plate when he already had so much.
Jungwon had no idea how to lead the girls, he didn't go through I-LAND with them, nor did they meet long enough to help them....
so, he didn't.
For about a few months, that went excruciatingly slow by the way, Jungwon barely made the effort to even glance Aohi's and Xiulin's way, well, more Aohi's because he respects Xiulin as his elder sister.
At first, it was smooth sailing for Jungwon, it wasn't that hard to ignore Aohi or avoid her, but as time passed on, Jungwon didn't realize her cold attitude would sting, like being out during a snowfall and it got too cold that your hands would freeze, kind of sting.
Jungwon didn't think the glare Aohi would sometimes direct at him would bother him so much. Like, made his stomach turn kind of bother.
For one, it made him feel like he was a bad person. (he doesn't think he is, is he?)
Secondly, he hated to admit that maybe, just maybe he did deserve it, and he wasn't really living up to the leader name.
Jungwon knows Aohi and Xiulin are his group members now, hell, they're making their first album with the girls now!
As a leader, he was supposed to help the girls, especially when he needed to navigate this whole co-ed situation as well, but he didn't, and knowing that left an incredibly sour taste on the boy's tongue.
That's what brought us to Jungwon now, sitting in an empty meeting room, after a weekly... report? Status? whatever it was, had happened. The boy stared straight ahead at the table, seemingly burning a theoretical hole into the furniture.
He sat unmoving for a while, getting lost in his thoughts, you could say he got it from Sunghoon's morning spacing out routine.
It was only until a can was placed in front of his line of sight did his gaze change from the table, to the girl he was exactly thinking about.
"You stare at that spot any longer, you might've actually burnt a hole into the table."
Jungwon didn't respond, glancing up at Aohi's brown orbs, before looking back down at the can on the table. "What's the drink for?" Jungwon nudged towards the drink, as if scared to touch it.
"To drink? What else?" Aohi stated, sitting opposite of Jungwon, in which Jay sat in before her, so Aohi cringed slightly as she felt the warm seat.
Aohi seemed to magically produce another can of warm tea— Jungwon had analyzed, in front of him, opening it with one hand.
"The drink was Xiulin-unnie's." She hums, blowing inside her can to take her first sip, tasting the tea and nodding her head, outwardly approving the flavour.
"Why didn't you give it to her then?" Jungwon hesitantly took the drink off of the table. "Couldn't find her." Aohi shrugged.
Jungwon made no move to open his drink, sitting up in his chair. "Why're you here?" He asks, moving the metal can from one hand to the other, temporarily using it as a handwarmer.
Jungwon didn't seem to like the fact that Aohi was so close without any reasons to be, he had no idea why he was so alert around her either, as if two cats meeting on a territory and intimidating each other.
"Why can't I be? I'm sitting with one of my members, I don't see anything wrong with that." Aohi's eyes narrowed like that of a cat as she willingly made eye contact.
As the two cat-like members stared on, Jungwon could feel that grumbling feeling in his stomach once again as he didn't back down from the intense eye contact Aohi established.
"I didn't say anything was wrong with it, I mean that you don't really like us—"
"I like Ri-ki, so I don't think that I don't like my group members." Aohi's shrugged once again, "You look at us like we're the worst people on earth." Jungwon scoffed, already disliking Aohi's response.
"I don't know why you have to look for a reason for me to be here, I'm being nice—" Aohi grumbled, placing her drink on the table since she was an easily irritable person, and this conversation— is it still even a conversation? could end up firing her up even more.
"With a stare like that?" Jungwon raised his eyebrows, he'd never seen someone who was being nice have a stare that could probably kill.
"Gosh, why do you have to start a fight with me all of the time?!" Aohi stood from her seat, pointing at Jungwon with an accusatory finger.
"Because you have so much against my hyungs and I! You don't even know us," Jungwon stood up from his seat as well, pushing Aohi's finger away with the back of his hand. "You just decided we're not even worth being nice to!"
"Neither do you! I wasn't the first to be rude, it was the hyungs who looked at me and Xiulin-unnie like we were of no hope!" Aohi argued, her words were true, how could the young girl forget?
Xiulin-unnie had to learn everything for herself and Aohi, because Aohi was finishing her studies and had to miss most of their practices.
Aohi was only angry because she cared for her unnie, and a few months in living like that, Xiulin was already extremely exhausted, and Aohi couldn't do much to help her.
Aohi was frustrated, she only wanted the boys to help, not just Ri-ki, all of the boys.
"Well—" "I'm not done!" Jungwon was silenced by Aohi, taken aback by her sudden outburst, even if he wanted to, what Aohi said was true, they truly didn't think they could debut, not so late into ENHYPEN's career at least.
Still, how could Jungwon admit that?
"Xiulin-unnie and I needed help, and we couldn't even confide in our hyungs, much less our leader." Jungwon's throat dried at Aohi's words, not knowing how to respond to that.
In all honesty, he felt like he was slapped with a hot iron pan of truth.
"Sure, Jake-hyung barely tried to help us with our dance practices, but not before pointing out every little wrong thing from us." Aohi poked her finger to Jungwon's chest, hating the way he was silent.
It wasn't like Aohi didn't know that Jungwon was the type to lead, from just meeting him, you could already feel it. That's what makes it worse.
The girls— Aohi, needed someone to follow, because that's all she knew to do, and she hoped that there was a small chance, Jungwon, as the leader, would knock some sense into his group members and allow her and her unnie to have someone to follow.
Apparently it was too much to ask for.
"We didn't even know each other, and we just decided to hate each other... months straight, we'd barely interact, even when we started to record the album.." Aohi frowned, seeing that she'd stunned Jungwon into silence.
Aohi wasn't sure whether to continue after that, only sighing and sitting back down, taking her cup of warm tea, trying to drink the tension away.
Jungwon stayed standing up, thinking. Jungwon knows he was cruel, but he thought he was doing right, he followed his hyungs along as well.
He could remember his Heeseung-hyung telling him that the girls will not gain anything by being in ENHYPEN, that they should let it be for their own good.
Jungwon should've asked what Aohi and Xiulin's thoughts were, if they could really do it, if they were really willing. Maybe then, he could've helped them, give them a place in the group, rather than giving up on them from the start.
"...I'm sorry." Jungwon hesitated, sitting next to Aohi, rubbing the palms of his hands nervously.
"You're only apologizing because I told you—"
"You're right, but I really am sorry, I mean that from the bottom of my heart." Jungwon interrupted her, Aohi turns to Jungwon, looking at him with a skeptical look.
"I was stressed, and I know that it's not an excuse, because you and Xiulin-noona were also under a lot of pressure," Aohi didn't bother to try and intervene with Jungwon's ramblings, he seemed to have a lot to say.
"But let me try and make it up to you, and Xiulin-noona."
Aohi stayed silent for a few moments, thinking, if Jungwon was genuine, and he was serious about treating her and Xiulin like actual members, maybe...
"It's been months, Jungwon.." Aohi replied curtly, turning to the side, as if hesitant to even agree. "Then I'll make up for it for as long as you girls want."
"You—" Aohi tried to start, Jungwon shaking his head at her reply, "I will, as long as you don't look at me like that again. I'll change."
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And change, Jungwon did.
Aohi was taken aback the first time he did something for her, it was an interview, their first interview as a debuted co-ed group.
Aohi sat in one of the dressing rooms, spacing out on a make-up chair as the girls' own stylist worked her magic onto Aohi's newly dyed hair.
Xiulin and Aohi were successfully debuted into the group, despite the boys' hesitance, except Ri-ki and Jungwon, who happily congratulated the two girls.
Aohi remembers how much they had to handle on the first few days, the incorporation of Dark Moon, the making of their first co-ed album, it was a mess, and not to mention they barely had any breaks.
"Aohi-ssi, your make-up is done." Her stylist spoke, ushering her behind to start working on Xiulin next. Aohi stretched her arms in front of her as she sat on the couches, next to Ri-ki.
Ri-ki instantly turned to her, phone in hand to show whatever he was currently laughing at.
While the two teens giggled over whatever was on Ri-ki's screen, Jungwon approached the couch with drinks in hand, just like Aohi did, and for some reason, the leader of ENHYPEN disliked that their youngest was shoulder to shoulder with Aohi.
Without thinking any further, Jungwon pushed the two apart, Aohi looking startled at the sudden intrusion. Aohi looked up, seeing Jungwon looking down at her.
"I got you a drink, you have to stay hydrated." Jungwon took Aohi's hand and placed the cold drink, using his palm to curl her fingers over it.
Aohi's eyebrows just furrowed, glancing at Xiulin, who only stared from the mirror of the stylist chair in shock.
"Thanks, I guess.." Aohi mumbled, placing the drink on the table in front of the couch. Ri-ki didn't seem to notice, or suspect anything as he just returned to bumping shoulders with Aohi and looking at random videos.
Jungwon seemed to bite the inside of his cheek at the unsuccessful attempt at separating the two, wait— why was he even annoyed that they were so close to each other?
"Noona, are you going to drink that?" Ri-ki points to the drink Aohi had recently placed on the table.
"Why, are you thirsty, ki-yah?" Aohi hummed, grabbing the can, wiping the top and popping it open for the youngest to drink.
Jungwon stood behind them, a bit offended as he watched Aohi place the can to Ri-ki's lips, like a big 'screw you!' from Aohi to Jungwon as she gave Ri-ki the first sip of the drink he decided to kindly get for her.
"Good?" Aohi asks Ri-ki, grinning when he nods. "That's really good grape juice." He nods, wiping his lips with the back of his hand.
"here, you can have it."
Jungwon could hear his heart crack as he heard that from Aohi's lips, and Aohi heard clearly.
'You aren't gaining my forgiveness that easily..' She thinks, glancing at Jungwon, a slight mischievous smile on her face.
Since then, Jungwon had been... overbearingly kind to Aohi and Xiulin, as in... even sneaking in ordered food for them late at night. Jungwon was really determined to gain Aohi's forgiveness.
Jungwon had already earned Xiulin's respect, it's just Aohi being stubborn.
"Here..." Jungwon huffed, having ran a few floors down and back up to deliver the ordered food to the girls' dorms.
Aohi could only blurt out a small thanks before closing the door in front of their leader's face, stopping him from even saying anything.
Jungwon sat in front of their door for a bit, catching his breath, letting out a sigh before turning around, despite hearing muffled voices behind the door.
"Aohi! That was rude! You know he's still a member, he's stuck with us!" Xiulin whisper-yelled from beside her, opening the door as soon as it was closed. "Sorry, won, she's just hangry, have some with us." The older girl ushered, pulling a turned Jungwon inside.
"Unnie!" Aohi gasped, somewhat stomping her foot from the door and staring up at Jungwon with a frown. "Don't be like that, we ordered enough for an extra person." Xiulin scolded.
"I could've called Ri-ki..." Aohi grumbled, turning around and stomping into the kitchen. "You're not calling the youngest down for some fried chicken, Aohi." Xiulin retorted.
Jungwon stood by the entrance awkwardly, he was the first of the boys to even be in the girls' dorms. "Don't just stand there, go!" Aohi pointed to the living room, chopsticks and plates in her other hand.
Jungwon hesitantly approached the room, looking around curiously at the new environment, before sitting next to Xiulin, on their couch.
"I'm hungry, hurry up!" Xiulin whined from the living room, the TV still turned on, they seemed to be watching a random k-drama, obviously bored but not tired.
"Eung!" Aohi replied, sitting by the table in the middle of their living room as they started to open the food they ordered. Jungwon sat back with his hands on his lap, a bit nervous.
"Loosen up, won." Xiulin looked from behind her, Aohi placing a plate and chopsticks for Jungwon to use. The two girls were silent as they placed the food out.
"Looks so good... I'm literally about to devour everything." Xiulin let out a 'psh!' sound, bumping Aohi's leg with her own and gaining a protest from Aohi.
"I will enjoy this food.." The three recited, Jungwon slowly sliding into the middle of the two girls as they started to eat.
The trio ate silently, an occasional groan or dislike for any event that went on in their k-drama. "She's so fake for going back to her ex.." Aohi spoke, looking at the TV with a furrowed brow.
"Right? Like, if you're going to go back, don't do it in front of the boy who's liked you for forever.." Xiulin scoffed, taking a sip of her cider. Jungwon silently chewed from between them, just listening in.
Jungwon stared down at his plate, swallowing, 'ah... I need some pickled radish..' Jungwon looked for the container around the table, seeing it but... it was being guarded by Aohi.
Jungwon didn't want to ask Aohi, just watching the girl place another cube into her mouth. Xiulin glanced from beside her, seeing Jungwon eye the container.
"Yah, Jungwon wants some, don't finish it all." Xiulin spoke, nudging her head towards Aohi's direction.
Jungwon felt alarmed at the sudden call-out Xiulin made, jumping in his spot, "Ah— no, it's okay!—" Jungwon used his free hand to make a no motion.
Aohi stared at Jungwon, chopsticks in her mouth, before staring back to the TV. The younger boy felt a little awkward as the noise died down between both Aohi and Xiulin.
Aohi then stared down at the container of radishes, there was only five cubes left.. and she really liked the radishes, she glances at Jungwon, who seemed to have a bit of trouble eating the last of his bites, using cider to down it.
Jungwon grabbed the last bite of the boneless bites he was eating, getting ready to chew his way to a finished plate, unknowing to Aohi's gaze at his struggling figure.
In a small moment, Aohi made the decision to pick a cube up from the container with her chopsticks, before turning to Jungwon.. "Eung.." Aohi was feeding him a cube of radish.
Jungwon stopped mid-chew to stare at her like a deer in headlights, Xiulin was too busy being immersed in her digital show to even bother seeing the live-version play out right beside her.
'Did.. did she want to feed me?' Jungwon thought, looking at the radish before looking back up.
Aohi waited with a blank look on her face as Jungwon swallowed his bite, hesitantly coming forward as he used his teeth to bite the radish, so that his lips wouldn't touch her chopsticks.
Jungwon could feel the back of his neck warm slightly, trying to finish his food.
Ever since then, it was even more awkward between Aohi and Jungwon, the leader starting to practically follow the girl around like a cat does to his owner.
Aohi guessed he wasn't that bad, more so tolerable. Aohi didn't mind Jungwon that much, just thought it was a little tiring having to be followed around.
It's been almost eight months since Jungwon promised to change, and Aohi and Jungwon seemed to be... friends? Acquaintances? All the leader knew was that Aohi didn't avoid him anymore.
Aohi was secretly appreciative of Jungwon, he had helped plenty with her and Xiulin with coordinating their first album together, MANIFESTO.
Aohi and Xiulin learnt their roles in the dance pretty quickly, thanks to Ri-ki and Jungwon. Aohi started to find her confidence in being in the group, trying to find her dynamic, trying to fit in.
Aohi thought she was ready, actually. That she was perfectly in the spot she was. That was, until their first performance of their songs.
"Get her and Sunoo off-stage, quickly! Check on her, see if she broke or injured anything!" The staff ran around frantically behind stage, trying to close the lights to cover up the incident on-stage.
It was their first performance of their song, ParadoXXX Invasion, Aohi thought she was going to nail this first performance, she really did.
Aohi lost her footing half-way into the song, tripping onto Sunoo as the two came tumbling down. The lights dimmed as their fans gasped, murmuring at the sudden absence of lights on-stage.
Sunoo held Aohi stable as he winced, feeling a sting from his lower back from where he fell.
Aohi looked at Sunoo with teary eyes, shaking her head as a worried expression washed over her features.
"Sunoo-hyung... I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry- i didn't mean—" Aoihi whispered, wrapping her palm around her mic, just in case it was still on. Aohi didn't want the crowd hearing her lose her composure.
The whole group was ushered off-stage as Aohi couldn't even hold back her tears as she suddenly burst out in worry, and honestly, in fear.
The staff members had no idea how to comfort the overwhelmed girl. Aohi felt vulnerable at this moment, she felt more like Yoon Aohi, the seventeen-year-old girl who was a little too sensitive for her own good.
Xiulin could only usher her away from the eyes of the other members, letting out soft mantras of reassurance as they walked away. Ri-ki and Jungwon looked on in worry, being by Sunoo's side as the medic on seen checked on him.
"Go check if she's okay, I'm okay—" Sunoo grabbed Jungwon's arm, looking at him with a strained smile, knowing Jungwon's conflicted thoughts behind his eyes, of staying with his hyung, or going after Aohi.
Jungwon glanced up one more time from Sunoo to a fading Aohi, through the crowds, the boy could see glimpses of Aohi's face in her hands, her shoulders shaking.
In that moment, Jungwon didn't hesitate to follow after her, swerving through different staffs as his hyungs called for him.
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"I'll just leave you here, okay? I'll be right back... just stay here.." Xiulin softly spoke, rubbing Aohi's shoulder for a bit, leaving to go talk with staff.
Jungwon tailed after the girls, approaching the dressing room that Xiulin left. Jungwon stood in front of the door for a bit, hesitating to knock before he did.
Thankfully, he did manage to do it, cracking the door open soon after, entering with as little noise as possible.
Aohi looked up from her make-up stained hands, up at Jungwon. Aohi sniffled as she wondered why Jungwon was there.
Jungwon could feel his heart tighten at Aohi's tear-stained face. Her expression seemed to hurt even worse than all of those glares she shot his way in the past.
Jungwon never wants to see her cry like this again, he wouldn't be able to take it if he did.
"Aohi..." Jungwon calls out softly, approaching the couch as he attempted to sit down, placing a gentle hand on her arm.
Aohi quickly pulled her hand away before Jungwon could even wrap a finger, "Wag mo ako hawakan!— please!" (Don't try to hold me, please.)
Aohi sniffled as she scooted to the side of the couch, making space between her and Jungwon. he didn't know what she was asking of him, not understanding what she said.
Instead, Jungwon sat on the other side of the couch, hoping she just wanted space. Jungwon could feel his stomach spin in worry for Aohi, the last few months, spending time with her made it that way.
Despite Aohi's firm obstacles in the start, trying to push him away, they ended up becoming somewhat close.
"Why're you even here?.." Aohi sobbed.
"I wanted to know if you're okay.." Jungwon frowned, looking at Aohi, itching to bring her into his arms, itching to comfort her.
"Since when did you care?" Aohi spat, she seemed defensive, thoughts racing in her head, she wondered, if Jungwon as the leader, would scold her for being so careless.
Aohi was stressed enough as it was. Jungwon could see that.
"I've always cared, Aohi.. ever since then..." Jungwon whispered, inching closer, freezing when Aohi flinched at his sudden movement.
"Please don't push me away," Jungwon begged. "I'm not here to berate you, or scold you—"
"I don't need your pity!" Aohi cried, a sob following her words. Jungwon held grabbed Aohi's hand as she tried to stand.
"I'm not pitying you, Aohi! I genuinely care for you!" Jungwon begeed once more, keeping Aohi in place, her movements frantic.
Aohi had to admit, Jungwon was pretty strong and she had to scold herself for thinking such things in a situation like this. Aohi tried to pull her hands away from Jungwon when she was pulled into his chest.
Aohi gasped, struggling in his hold as Jungwon held her in place, whispering 'you're okay's and 'relax' in Aohi's ears as she sobbed even more, only grabbing onto his sweatshirt as she cried her teenage heart out into Jungwon's clothes.
"You made a mistake, and that's okay.. it happens.." Jungwon softly comforted the girl in his arms, his hand reaching up to pat the girl's head.
"I just ruined the performance.. I tripped Sunoo-hyung.. I hurt him—" Aohi sobbed out, Jungwon shaking his head with a soft laugh. "Aish... Aohi, you're thinking too much, Sunoo-hyung won't hate you for that."
"It's not just that!" Aohi cried out, Jungwon leans back from his hug, looking down at Aohi, who seemed to stare up at him, her eyes puffy and nose red, Jungwon was convinced he could've been looking at a scared bunny.
"Then what is it? Hm?"
Aohi sniffled for a bit, moving away from her embrace with Jungwon, "I hyped myself up so much for this album... I was so confident, Jungwon," She whimpered, using her arm to wipe her eyes.
"I thought I would be able to do the performance flawlessly. I just embarrassed us, maybe I'm really not meant to be in enhypen, won.."
Jungwon stays quiet at her words, Jungwon is reminded of their starting months, he wonders if he and his hyungs made that mindset for Aohi. Jungwon wonders if he did, he really thought he was cruel.
"Don't say that, you didn't do anything," Jungwon wanted to change those thoughts in the poor girl's head, it was the least he could do.
"You're a hard-working person, Aohi, and you made a mistake but don't think for one second that you don't belong with us because of it."
"...You mean it, won?" Aohi whispered, looking up at the taller boy. Jungwon looked down at her once again, he felt a bit stunned at how Aohi was fine with showing this vulnerable side to her, especially when he's always been avoided by her.
"With everything I have." Jungwon replied, just as soft.
The two continued to keep eye contact with each other, getting lost in each other's gazes. It was quiet in the dressing room, except for the rustling of Jungwon's hand rubbing at Aohi's palm and his rings clinking with hers.
Neither Jungwon or Aohi made an effort to move away from each other, they didn't even bother to notice that, instead of moving away from each other, they inched closer and closer.
"Won?" Aohi whispered, her eyes fluttering softly.
"..Eung?" Jungwon asked, Aohi could feel his breath on her cheek, that's how close they were.
Aohi glanced down at his lips, Jungwon following her actions, dreading for the moment they would touch.
Another minute passes, an inch following.
It was quiet, too quiet.
In a span of a second, Aohi could feel Jungwon close the gap in between them, a soft gasp leaving her lips. His lips were soft, oh so soft.
Jungwon's eyes had fluttered close, he didn't know why he ended up closing the gap, hell, he didn't even register that he was kissing Aohi!
Aohi could've melted from just how soft Jungwon's lips were on hers, it was perfect, so perfect. Aohi wanted it to last forever, the feeling of their lips moving in sync was perfect, like a dream.
but as quickly as a dream ends, it did, Xiulin being the main culprit as she busts into the room.
Aohi and Jungwon jumped away from each other, Aohi fixing her appearance and Jungwon covering the lower half of his face.
"Noona! Are you okay?" RI-ki voiced, his worried figure approaching Aohi as she tried to compose herself.
"Yeah- Yeah, I'm..." Aohi glances at Jungwon, who's forced himself not to even think to turn to look at her. "I'm.. alright.." Aohi finishes her sentence, her voice lowering softly.
"We should get you out of here, the staff gave us the green light.." Xiulin spoke curtly, staring at Jungwon as she rubbed Aohi's shoulder.
Before Aohi could even get a word in, Ri-ki was already ushering her up, softly telling her to move. Xiulin taking over when she reaches the door.
"But, won—" Aohi tried to call for the other member, Ri-ki only blocking her sight. "Go, noona." The youngest pleaded, wanting Aohi to rest.
Aohi didn't say anything further as Xiulin pulled her outside, reaching the car with their stuff in tow, letting the younger girl enter the car first.
"Unnie-" Aohi tried to speak her mind before Xiulin could even scold her, but she was instantly silenced by the way her elder sister just sent a glance her way.
"Aohi, what were you thinking?" Xiulin spoke from her seat, leaning back into her seat.
"Unnie.. it was a mistake, I really didn't mean to trip—" Xiulin made a 'nuh uh' sound, shaking her head as she raised her hand up to stop Aohi from speaking even more.
"Not. That." Xiulin turns to her dongsaeng, a slightly annoyed look on here face. "I mean that... the— you know!" Xiulin motions to her hand, making kissing motions by touching the tips of her fingers together.
Aohi watches the action with her lips ajar, she opened her mouth to try and make a reason, an excuse, on why she did it, why she... kissed Jungwon.
Since nothing came out, she only sighed, looking off to the window, as if deep in thought. There was barely any sunlight left, the night coming to replace the sun.
"I don't know.. Unnie, believe me, I was upset and—" Xiulin clicked her tongue. "I thought you disliked our members? That's all you could ever talk about, remember?"
"I know but-" Aohi sighed, looking down at her fingers, fiddling with the rings. "Jungwon- He's different—" Xiulin suddenly puts her hands up in the air, it's like she's finally noticing the plot of a k-drama.
"Different? Because he was nice? You and I have known him for a few months, batsy!" Xiulin argued. Aohi flinches at her aggressive tone, feeling like a kicked cat on the curb.
"It's the way he's changing! Believe me, I tried to push him away, but he was persistent, and I started to change—" Xiulin huffed in her seat, she truly wonders what was going through Aohi's head.
Xiulin thought of the future of ENHYPEN as quickly as she saw the scene of Aohi and Jungwon. It would cause such an outrage, especially between newly-debuted members and how it would conspire so many rumours.
Xiulin's heart was in the right place, worrying about their careers, but she has to understand that Aohi didn't mean for the kiss to happen.
"Unnie.. you said it yourself, we're stuck with them! Is it so bad to try and change? To want to be on better terms with them?" Aohi reasoned, pleading her older member to understand.
"You call that better terms, Aohi?" Xiulin frustratingly replied. The two girls seemed to struggle with finding a middle ground. "Kissing Jungwon is worse than having something against him."
"I like him, unnie!" — "Is you liking Jungwon worth more than our careers?!"
Aohi stays silent at this, for once her stubbornness flickers out like a flame.
She thinks about the whole situation from Xiulin's eyes. She and her unnie worked to debut after being picked out of their respective groups and now that they are debuting, Aohi could ruin it.
Hell, she should be lucky it was Xiulin and.. maybe Ri-ki? who saw the kiss.. Oh gosh, what about Ri-ki? What will he do?
"I'm sorry, unnie... I didn't know what I was thinking..." Aohi whispered, deciding to back down and agree to Xiulin. Her unnie turns to her, seeing the young girl deflate into her chair with a soft sniffle.
Aohi was obviously upset, feeling dejected. Xiulin could only sigh, "You should stay away from Jungwon off-camera.. You and won will only hurt yourselves if feelings start to form..." Xiulin reaches over to rub her arm on the girl's shoulder, in attempt to comfort her.
Aohi only nods, their conversation ending as their separate manager enters the car, ready to drive them home.
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MUSIC BANK DRESSING ROOM, 8:56 PM—
"Hyung." A voice calls out for him. Jungwon could only squeeze his eyes shut for a few moments. "Look, just- don't tell the others.." He let out a sigh through his nose, looking up at Ri-ki, who seemed visibly upset.
"I don't care about that, you shouldn't of done that to her." The youngest spoke. Jungwon was taken aback at the sudden hostility coming from Ri-ki.
"Ri-ki, what are you talking about?" Jungwon's eyebrows furrowed, looking appalled at the youngest's behaviour.
Ri-ki clenches his fists, biting the inside of his cheek. "You shouldn't of kissed her."
Jungwon wonders why he'd bring this up, he already knew? What does Ri-ki gain from telling him again?
"You don't think I know that? I'm saying not to mention it to the other hyungs, I'll—" Jungwon spoke, trying to pass the conversation as quickly as possible, the leader didn't want to speak about it, his mind jumbled from the big events of today.
"You're going to hurt Aohi-noona, you know that?" Ri-ki replies, and at this point, Jungwon wonders why he cares so much. Sure, their youngest and Aohi has been closest, but to be so defensive about her?
"Ri-ki, drop it please." Jungwon pleaded, Ri-ki flicking his head to the side, as if ticked off. "she doesn't deserve that, you—" Jungwon stopped Ri-ki from saying even more words, words that could hurt both of them.
"I care about Aohi as much as you do, Ri-ki!" Jungwon argued, Ri-ki biting back just as fierce. "I don't just care, Jungwon-hyung!" He yells, and Jungwon is quiet for a few moments, wondering what he meant.
"You're blowing this out of proportion, ki. You know we're just friends." And at this, Ri-ki scoffs. He felt like a little kid being hid away from things he obviously understood.
"Don't bullshit me, please, hyung." Jungwon clenches his jaw, he could feel the tension rise between them.
It was a familiar feeling, one that started to become obvious as months passed, the more both spent time with Aohi.
"You don't think I notice? The way you look at Noona like she showed you the wonders of the world," Ri-ki steps towards Jungwon, and the older boy takes a step back.
"You used to hate her, and now you kiss her like the past just didn't happen?"
"That was months ago! Aohi and I are on better terms!" Jungwon takes this as an opportunity to stand his ground with Ri-ki, he has never seen their youngest be so rebellious, or hell, angry with them.
"Still! I won't let you play with her feelings like that!"
Jungwon is angered at this, Ri-ki doesn't get to put that claim on him, not when he spent months caring for Aohi, not when he's made a habit to glance at Aohi to make sure she's okay, or always asking her if she needs any help.
Not when Jungwon spent so much time caring, not when he started to form feelings, when he started to love her.
"I'm not playing with anyone's feelings, Ri-ki!" Jungwon finally yells, like a cat defending his territory, feeling offended and intimidated.
"You don't get to accuse me of that! Aohi is just as important to me! I get my actions but I won't do it again! So, drop it!"
"No! I'm not dropping it!" Ri-ki keened.
"God, Ri-ki! Why do you care so much?!" Jungwon groaned, "I said I wouldn't do it again, what more could you want?—"
"It's because I have feelings for her!" Ri-ki reveals, his hand instantly reaching up to slap over his lips. It was so shocking that even Jungwon's eyes widened slowly at his words, not expecting to hear that fall from Ri-ki's lips.
Even Ri-ki's surprised that those words came out of his own mouth.
"I.. I like her."
The two stare at each other for a while, before Ri-ki couldn't handle his hyung's gaze, dashing out with a heavy heart, and a twisting stomach.
Jungwon seemed to grab at a table behind his back, feeling his knees weaken. His hands reached up to wipe the sweat on his face, the temperature of the room seemed to change as the fighting between the two got worse.
Jungwon repeated Ri-ki's works in his head over and over, as if it was a mantra. Ri-ki liked her, he had feelings for her.
God, what will he do?
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100 notes · View notes
hwaslayer · 7 months
Text
project: make you love me (jyh) | four.
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♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.
—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 5.6k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, chaery being bold per usual lol (but shes a cutie and we love her), oc and yunho get to know each other more, mentions of sickness/being ill (not oc or yunho), yunho's mom is a single mom, hwa gets a little 😕 but oc knows how to put her foot down, say hello to mingi!!, mingi brings something up and it kinda rubs yunho the wrong way but boy has patience
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"We're getting lunch with Jongho and them. Coming?" You shake your head as you walk alongside Soobin, with Seungmin and Chaery trailing behind.
"Nope, no can do." You say. "I'm taking Yunho to lunch to repay him for the ni—" Seungmin looks at you and you pause. Right. Soobin and Chaery don't know Seonghwa left you stranded. "Foooor his help with my reviews." You backtrack a bit, hoping the two didn't catch on.
"Oh, that's sweet of you." Chaery says. "You definitely should! We won't be home 'till later either, soo.. " She giggles and you shake your head at her forwardness.
"So.. what, Chaery?" You glare at her.
"Yeah, what is wrong with you?" Seungmin laughs a bit. "You'll scare him away."
"I will not! I'm just saying, the option is there." She puckers her lips and wiggles her brows.
"Anyway, I'm just going to grab lunch with him at the cute, new brunch place downtown. Let me know if you want anything?" You stop in your tracks, realizing you've walked farther than you should've. Yunho mentioned he was going to be at the Engineering Center, which is in the opposite direction.
"Sounds good." Soobin gives you a small, pursed smile; dimples dotting his cheeks as he sends an animated wave. "See you? Have fun, be safe!"
"Thanks." You wave to your friends as you watch them walk off without. You turn on your heel to walk back towards the building that Yunho just ended class in, picking up your pace when you realize you're running a little late compared to the time you promised to meet him. As you close in on the building, you catch sight of the tall boy and his fluffy black hair.
"Yunho!" Yunho whips his head around to see you walking towards him. He smiles a bit and stops, waiting for you to catch up. "Hey! I was just about to text you. You still free to grab brunch with me, right?"
"Yeah, I was waiting." He teases, making you chuckle.
"I know, I'm too slow. Sorry." You joke back. "Let's go." You look up at him and he nods.
"How was class?"
"Mm, same old. What about you?"
"It was okay. Another small project I gotta work on."
"Sounds fun." You gently nudge him with your elbow. "Computer Science right?" He nods.
"Public Health?"
"Wow, a point for Jeong Yunho." He laughs.
"Y/N, it's not an entirely huge school. You know a lot of people, and people know you."
"For the wrong reasons, most likely."
"No. Just for being you." He says with a soft smile on his face.
"Are you always this smooth talking to girls?" He laughs and shakes his head.
"Quite the opposite actually. It's just.. easy to talk to you, I guess." He looks down at his feet timidly.
"I'm glad." You chuckle. "So, I'm thinking of taking you to Cafe 24. Does that sound okay?"
"The new brunch place?" He smiles, and it adds a rosy tint to his cheeks. "Cool. I've heard good things about it already."
"Yeah?" You ask in an animated, questioning tone. "Nice. I'm excited."
"Your friends didn't wanna come?" You finally get to your car and toss your bag in the trunk, signaling for Yunho to put his things down as well.
"Hell no. Or else, they'll order everything expecting me to pay." You sigh. "So, nope! This is just for you, especially as my small token of appreciation." Yunho doesn't say anything besides let out a small laugh before hopping into your car and settling in. "By the way, I drive as safely as possible, so please don't make fun of me."
"I won't." Yunho watches as you adjust your seat closer to the wheel. Once you feel content, you start the car and double check your mirrors before pulling out of the spot and driving off.
Luckily, the drive isn't far or else Yunho wasn't sure what he'd do. It's not that he was uncomfortable around you, but he's not used to keeping the small talk alive— let alone engaging and being the first to break the silence.
You seem to understand him well though, because besides the few questions you ask him about the week, you don't push the conversation. 
And it's nice.
He listens to the music you have on, hearing you softly hum in the driver's seat as you carefully navigate the narrow downtown roads and find a spot near the café.
"Sweeeet." He hears you giggle as you pull into a parking spot that just opened up. "We're here!"
"There's not too many people?" Yunho says in a questioning tone as he unbuckles his seatbelt and peeks at the front door. It's busy, but not enough for a wait. You check your phone and take note of the fact that it's still earlier than noon— you and Yunho barely missing the lunch rush. 
"Still early, I guess." You greet one of the staff members and she immediately brings you and Yunho to a table in the back corner. She lays out the menu in front of you, giving you a moment to glaze over the options while she heads to the back to grab water. "Everything looks so good." Yunho chuckles.
"Anything you've been craving for?"
"Something sweet?" Your eyes widen at the sight of 'matcha mochi waffles' on the menu, pondering whether or not you should give in to your sweet tooth or get something a little more filling on the savory side. "But now, I'm torn. I kinda wanna taste the omurice." 
"You can have some of mine?" Yunho was eyeing the omurice anyway, and he doesn't mind sharing some with you.
"Really?" Your eyes sparkle and it makes Yunho's ears turn red. He's feeling shy now because yes, really. Yes, you're cute.
"Yeah, I don't mind." You smile.
"Hm, okay. You can have some of my mochi waffle and bacon?" He shakes his head.
"It's alright, Y/N. It's not a big deal."
"Yes, it is. It's a new brunch place and who knows when we'll be back. You should taste it." He doesn't respond, just simply smiles back at your argument. At this point, the waitress is back with two waters and asks if you two would like anything to drink. Yunho declines, but you happily order a vanilla latte. She asks if you're ready to order, eyes darting to Yunho for some kind of acknowledgement— which he gives to you in the form of a simple nod. She takes down your orders and lets you know that she'll be back with your latte, taking your menus before she's off to the kitchen. "So." Yunho looks at you after he's been people-watching through the window.
"Hm?" He hums.
"Tell me about yourself, Yunho." You say softly. Typically, Yunho hates these kinda things. He'll usually respond very vaguely to cut it off at a certain point. He just doesn't think people need to know much about him, nor does he really find himself interesting. But for now, he'll dive in a little more. He doesn't seem to find the harm in it when it comes to you.
"I don't even know where to start?" He laughs a bit. "I'm not sure what you want to know."
"Anything." The waitress brings your latte and you immediately start blowing at it to cool it down. "Tell me anything."
"I'm an only child?" He starts off with an unsure tone, but you nod in response to reassure him. "Home is two hours away at my aunt's house."
"Sweet. If you don't mind me asking.. have you always lived with your aunt?" 
"Yeah, I have. She's my mom's sister, and my mom is sick." Your eyes soften. "She has kidney issues so she's on dialysis. She's still strong and all, but it's nice that my aunt is there. She helps take care of her and bring her to appointments, especially while I'm away most of the time." You nod quietly.
"What about your dad?" He shrugs.
"Uh, he left when I was young, so I don't really know much about him."
"Shoot. I'm so sorry, Yunho. I didn't mean to—"
"Nah, it's okay. I don't mind talking about it, but I also can't give better responses since I don't know much myself." 
"You must be very close to your mom." Yunho thinks about his mom for a second, taking mental note that he needs to call her later. She has always been so strong, and she's always been Yunho's driving force. Even though he didn't have his dad around, he never felt like he lacked love or support because he mom did a fantastic job covering all of those bases no matter what. 
She never let Yunho down. And he only hopes he can do the same in return.
"I am."
"I can only imagine how tough it is."
"Yeah." He lets out a breath. "But, she's doing well. She's been well for a long time. All I can ask for." You give him a tiny toothless smile.
"I'm glad to hear that."
"W-what about you?" He clears is throat to try and brush off the slight nervousness he feels asking these questions. Surely, you asked about him. But, you wouldn't mind sharing your own facts, right?
"I have an older sister who works in finance. She's 4 years older than me. My parents split up, but my dad still comes around to hang out. They're better this way, I think. Their relationship is much healthier." You also start thinking about your parents, reminiscing about the tough times when they used to fight for days on end. Luckily, you and your sister were close— you could lean onto her like you do with your bestfriends. She tried to protect you and keep you safe as much as possible, tried to shield you from the negativity even though it was hard to. Eventually, your parents had enough and split; though, you'd like to think this was their silver lining since they're much better around each other now.
"I see." Yunho sips his water. "It's nice he's still around."
"Mhm." You tilt your head. "Do you have a lot of friends back home?"
"I wouldn't say lots. A few people that I grew up with still live around my area, but most people have moved."
"That's cool to still see some childhood friends, though." It's your turn to sip. "How do you know Mingi so well?"
"We went to the same high school. We have some common interests, but that's it? We just hang out with different crowds." Yunho shrugs. "Mingi finds certain people and certain things fun that I don't necessarily find fun. He's a big social butterfly."
"Yeah, I see that." You chuckle.
"You and your friends seem really close. Did you meet here?"
"We did." You smile. "Chaery and I were roommates and Soobin and Seungmin lived across the hall from us."
"Did you meet Chaery before you two moved in?"
"Nope. Just that day." You laugh. "Believe it or not. We clicked really well and got close easily. I got lucky with her." At this point, the waitress comes with your plate and tells Yunho she'll be back with his as they're just finishing up in the kitchen. "Then we met Soobin and Seungmin. And they slowly started coming into our room more often. Turned into going to the cafeteria together, to hanging out and studying in our room together."
"That's good. It's always nice to have solid, good friends around."
"Yeah." You look at him. He notices that you aren't eating your food, and he feels bad that you are waiting for him. So, he clears his throat again and mutters out a quick—
"Oh, you don't have to wait for me." He looks at you, then down at your food.
"No, it's okay Yunho. I'll wait." You nod. "Speaking of roommates, are you close to Yeosang?"
"Uh, we're cool, I guess?" He shyly laughs. "We randomly got paired up because we're in the same major." The waitress sets his plate down and he pauses for a brief moment to thank her and asks for an extra plate. When she leaves, he returns his attention back to you. "Anyway. One day, he asked if I knew anyone who needed a roommate. At the time, I was renting a room in this couple's home. I didn't mind it, and they were super friendly. But, I figured having more space would be nice instead of being confined to a room and feeling shy about going into the shared kitchen and bathroom." You laugh.
"I get that, totally understandable." Yunho is splitting some of his omurice [a bit more than you expected] and placing it neatly on the extra plate before scooting it your way. "Wait. Yunho, that's a lot." You look at him worriedly and he shakes his head, continuing to edge the plate towards you.
"No, it's not." You look at him and he gives you a small smile. "Promise."
"Thank you." You say, cutting him a good chunk of your waffle and placing it on the edge of his plate. "I know you said you and Yeosang are cool so.. do you hang out often at home?"
"We'll talk and have dinner sometimes, but most of the time, we're in our rooms playing games." You giggle and Yunho's ears turn red. "Wow, I probably sounded ridiculous saying that."
"No, no. Soobin and Seungmin have a tendency to do that too. As long as it makes you happy and content, right?"
"Mmyeah."
"How often do you go home?"
"Hm, I try to go every other weekend? But, sometimes plans don't work out that way. I just try to go as soon as I can."
"I see." You continue to hold a conversation in between bites, with topics ranging from school, your majors, things your friends have gotten into.
Dancing.
Yunho observes you as you talk about your dance team and how much you enjoy it, and he loves the way your eyes twinkle; the way you animatedly move your hands while describing the team and its accomplishments, the way you giggle in between. He can tell you really enjoy it, and he's truly happy you have something to fall onto when times get rough, something to help celebrate when you're having good days.
He just can't understand how Seonghwa fits in this mix. He doesn't, he shouldn't. You are too good for him, and you have way more to offer.
"So.. yeah, that's us. We're small, but we're fun. And I think people on campus enjoy our pieces." Yunho laughs a bit before finishing up his food. He feels bad since he's never really gone out of his way to watch any of your performances, but maybe he should.
"Let me know when your next one is?"
"You'll come?" You ask with so much hope in your eyes. Yeah, maybe he should this time.
"Yeah, if I don't have anything planned."
"Oh, so we're the backup plan." You tease and Yunho shakes his head.
"No, not like that. You know what I mean. If I'm around and not at home."
"Of course." You tilt your head and smile at him. "I'll text you details later." You set aside your plate and sit back in your seat, feeling stuffed but content with your meal. You call for the waitress to bring over the check, instantly handing off your card in fear of Yunho trying to swoop in. "Oof, I'm full. But, that was so good. I really liked it."
"It was." Yunho sets his own plate aside and sips on some water. "Thanks again, you really didn't have to."
"I did. Small token of appreciation for the help you've been giving me. I've always struggled with these things so having someone patiently explain and walk me through improvements means a lot." You say before getting up and grabbing your things. "Ready?" Yunho nods before following you out. "Are you going to work in the library until class?"
"Probably."
"Do you mind if I join you?" Yunho looks down at you with a small smile.
"Not at all."
You make the trek back to school comfortably, parking in the lot near the library so that you and Yunho won't have to do too heavy of a walk. The both of you are engaging in more small talk, with Yunho feeling a bit more comfortable to joke around with you. He doesn't dare bring up Seonghwa because he knows it isn't his business, but also because he'd hate to see your mood shift.
You look good happy.
Getting back to the library, you scoot yourself into the opposite side of the booth and face Yunho. He immediately pulls out his laptop to do some work, not really saying much as his focus is redirected on trying to understand the new project they were just assigned. He glances over the edge of his laptop from time to time though, and you don't really catch it because you're too immersed in the note-taking you're doing. You write so precisely, so neatly; switching from one colored pen to the next before highlighting in a super straight line. His eyes glance up to your face, your features, before shifting his attention back down to his assignments.
Cutie.
"What's up, Yunho?" Yunho is pulled out of his thoughts when he hears that familiar deep voice. Seonghwa smirks at him before his eyes land on you. You don't look too happy to see him right now, but Yunho knows Seonghwa still has the upper hand here, and honestly, it sucks. "Hey Y/N, can I talk to you?"
"Why?"
"Cause, it's important." He licks his lips when his smile fades. "Please?" Your eyes dart from Yunho, back to Seonghwa. Yunho just quietly glances at you though, trying his best to mind his own business and let you decide on your own. But he's begging, pleading, in his mind that you don't leave with Seonghwa. Not after he left you in the cold the way he did.
Too bad it was a wishful thought.
"Fine." You huff before packing up your things and start to slide out of the booth. "Talk to you later? Thanks for today." You give Yunho a soft, apologetic smile, and he can only nod in acknowledgment before you're walking off next to that asshole. He continues to watch as you two walk down and into a random aisle of books. You can't help but scoff at Seonghwa again when you realize he's hiding because of course he doesn't want too many people in his business and to see you two so close. Of course he needs to do this in the fucking history aisle of the library. "This is your idea of talking?" All he does is chuckle a bit before he's tucking a piece of your hair behind the ear.
"Baby, seriously? Why are you hanging around Yunho so much?"
"Because we're friends?" He snorts.
"Since when? I don't ever recall Yunho being in your little circle."
"Oh my god, Seonghwa. He's been helping me with some assignments. What is this really about?" He shrugs.
"Nothing, I already told you. I'm not trying to share, not with him." You furrow your brows.
"Share?" You scoff. Clearly, you were just a possession to him. "We aren't dating. You made that very loud and clear from the beginning."
"Still. The dude can't even pull his own girl—"
"Stop." You put your hand out and shake your head. "If you're just gonna talk shit, let me get back to doing homework with Yunho. I don't have time for it." He sighs heavily and tries to pull you into him by the elbows.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I just got worried because you didn't answer my text last night."
"Worried over me, or because you weren't getting any?"
"Come on, Y/N. Cut that shit out."
"No, you cut that shit out. It was freezing last night. I fucking waited for you at the spot for an hour."
"And I said I was sorry. I wanted to make it up to you last night but you didn't respond. I feel really bad about it, but what am I supposed to do when you won't even talk to me?"
"Seriously?" You let out a sigh. "Whatever you say." He sucks his teeth and lifts your chin with his finger.
"Baby, I'm trying here. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be doing this." You simply stare at him. You know he's lying, and you know he genuinely doesn't care about you. There is not one honest bone in his body that actually gives a damn about you. He's telling you what you wanna hear because he knows it'll work every—single—time. 
"I don't know—"
"I'll wait for you until you're done with practice tonight, how about that? You can just shower at my place so we can hang out all night."
"That's the issue, you're never there after practice."
"I will be. I promise." He pouts a bit. "I'll be there waiting for you." He laces your hand with his and kisses the surface. "Walk with me to class?" You look at him, but all you can think about is leaving Yunho. You let out a sigh knowing all you want to do is avoid conflict, shrugging at his question.
"Fine."
"That's my girl." He leads the way out of the aisle, giving Yunho the pettiest nod you've ever seen. You try to avoid eye contact since you felt bad for leaving.
But, fuck. You just needed to get through the day in one peace. 
He swings an arm around you for a second before he sees his friends on the way to class. He gives you a quick peck on the cheek just as he reaches his classroom, leaving you to finish up work at the nearby student center.
The day goes on [peacefully], and you're off to dance practice with your friends. You forget about everything for a moment while you're with them, enjoying the time that you get to spend all together even if it's through dance. They invite you to hang out with the group afterwards, but you politely decline especially when you actually see Seonghwa waiting outside in his car. You give your friends big hugs before waving goodbye, and settle yourself into Seonghwa's car.
He talks about his day for a bit, even as you walk into his apartment and see San eating his dinner. He doesn't really ask about yours, nor does he care enough to. He does ask if you've eaten and if you want some food, but you shake your head and tell him you'll be off to shower and finish your homework in his room. Throughout your shower, you can hear him and San laughing loudly in the dining area before they're going at each other's necks while playing FIFA.
You feel like you're just.. there.
You silently sit against the wall as you type away on your laptop, sighing as Seonghwa and San continue to yell over their last game. You find that you aren't really in the mood to be here, but you hang on to see what Seonghwa's version of 'making it up to you' means.
Should've known it wasn't shit.
Especially when he barges into his room and shuts the door, immediately kissing you before trailing a few soft kisses down your neck. He thinks you're enjoying it, so he keeps peppering your neck even as you gently try to pry him off.
"Hwa." You call his name and he ignores it, fingers slightly fiddling with the waistband of his sweats that you're wearing. "Seonghwa, stop." You say, pushing him back. "Stop." You repeat with a harder push when he almost dips his hand into your sweats.
"W-what? What's wrong?" He furrows his brows when he backs up to read your expression, your body language. Suddenly, you feel out of place, feeling like you wanna go home and be in your own peace.
You did not wanna be here. Not with him.
"I'm just.. not in the mood. Can you take me home?"
"Not in the mood?" He repeats. "What, should I have gone slower? Did I do something—"
"Seonghwa, please just take me home. I'm not asking twice." You say and he lets out a scoff as he hops off the bed and grabs his keys. 
"Alright, whatever." He says, digging his hands into his pockets while walking out of his room. You change into the extra clothes you brought in your duffle bag, setting his clothes neatly into his laundry hamper. You quietly trail behind him as you tug on your bag and watch your feet drag you to his car. You hop in and Seonghwa doesn't say a word, instantly starting up the car and driving off. You can tell he's upset by the way his jaw is clenched, the way his hand tightly wraps around the wheel.
The way he drives.
A rather quick drive becomes even quicker, and you're glad you don't live far from his apartment. This entire ride feels suffocating and you can't wait to leave entirely. He pulls into your lot and brakes near the curb, giving you time to step out of his car. He doesn't give you another look, nor does he say anything— you simply slam the door shut and he races off, leaving before paying you any mind.
Perfect.
This wasn't anything new, but tonight feels awful. You start to feel guilty for whatever happened, though you shouldn't.
You shouldn't feel guilty.
You let out a shaky sigh as you step into your apartment, your roommates not being home since they're out with the dance group. You set your things aside and quickly take a shower before plopping onto your bed and doing.. nothing.
You want to do nothing.
You scroll through your phone as you try your hardest not to let any tears fall. They shouldn't, you did nothing wrong. But everything feels wrong, suffocating.
You hate feeling this way.
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Yunho is getting ready to wrap up his work for the day when he sees a body slide into the booth he's currently occupying.
"Sup dude." Mingi says.
"Yo." Yunho responds. "What are you still doing here?" He asks, unfamiliar with Mingi's presence during these evening hours in the library.
"I had to work on a group project." Yunho continues to draft out some notes for his project while Mingi sits back and lets out a breath. "Another project?"
"Yup. How'd your group project go?"
"Eh. It's alright, but we're done. Just need to present." Mingi scrolls through his phone. "I saw you with Y/N earlier." Yunho pauses to briefly look at him before returning his attention back to his notebook. "I didn't know you two knew each other." He chuckles.
"We have literature class together, and I was helping her with some reviews."
"You seem close, though? Have you always been close?" Yunho shrugs at two things— one, he definitely can't say you two are close, and two, how nosy Mingi is being. It must be for Seonghwa.
"Not really. She's cool, though."
"Hm." Mingi hums before putting his phone down on the table. "Yeah, she is. I don't know what Hwa's deal is sometimes."
"Mm, but you would never mention it to him." Yunho teases with a small chuckle, but he means it. He absolutely means it.
"I just feel like it isn't my place to. Me and San have both told him to chill, but can't force someone to act a certain way if they don't want to." Yunho shrugs.
Fine, he thinks. But, Mingi could at least tell the guy when he's wrong and what he's done wrong, right? He would at least hope that's part of their conversations, and he knows Mingi is aware of right vs. wrong. 
No better way than letting someone know the truth. 
Seonghwa is wrong damn near more than half of the time.
"Yeah, I guess." Is all Yunho responds with.
"He does like her, though." Yunho looks at him with tightly-knit brows. What does he mean Seonghwa likes you? That's his way of showing his feelings for you? And it must be obvious that Yunho is feeling a certain way about that statement because Mingi instantly backs it up with a— "I mean like, I know he has some kind of feelings for her. He does more for her than I've seen him do for anyone else. I just don't know why he's stringing her along and not being more serious." 
"Like.. what? Leave her in the cold until he's ready to pick her up? Really shows his feelings." Yunho sarcastically responds. "Anyway, sure. It's not really my business."
"Are you sure?"
"What?"
"You seem interested in her."
"Because we hung out?" Yunho shrugs. "Okay, Mingi."
"I only bring it up because he's mentioned it. Hwa can get pretty protective and jealous. I don't want him to start shit with you—"
"He doesn't need to." Yunho responds. "Not really on me anyway, I'm not the one in the wrong."
"Right, I guess."
"I know he's your friend, but she deserves way better. You can tell me all of this, and it still won't change my mind." Yunho chimes in one last time, completely over the conversation. "If she isn't happy, he shouldn't be selfish enough to continue trapping her." He finishes up his notes before closing his notebook and packing up.
"You're right." Is all Mingi replies with while watching Yunho pack up. Because what can he say? Of course, he agrees. But he has this weird obligation, this loyalty, to Seonghwa because of their friendship.
"I'm gonna head out." Yunho slides to the end of the booth before throwing his bag over his shoulder. "Gonna stay behind?"
"Nah, I'll come with. Wasn't planning on staying any longer." Yunho nods, allowing Mingi to walk alongside of him. He's a little annoyed, but in a weird and unconventional way, he knows Mingi didn't mean any harm. He knows he didn't mean to intentionally attack him. 
Still, though. His point about Park Seonghwa stands.
Yunho continues his walk to the car with Mingi, the topic of discussion now being new game releases and a party that's coming up soon at one of the athlete's homes. Mingi extends the invite to Yunho, but Yunho shakes his head and tells him he doesn't think he'd end up going. He might change his mind if he feels better about it when the time gets closer, but as of now— it feels like a hard no.
Once Yunho and Mingi finally part ways, Yunho climbs into his car and begins his silent drive home. He starts pondering about his day and how he actually really enjoyed it. He feels comfortable enough to be himself around you, and he can't say that for many people.
You are enticing to him.
When he gets home, everything feels still— quiet. The night sky is dotted with stars, while the crickets chirp.
"Mom." He says, parking his car off to the curb and grabbing his things.
"Yunho, baby." She says a bit lowly. "How are you? How was your day?"
"I'm alright, just hanging in there. Had lunch with a friend before working on a few projects." He begins to walk to his apartment. "How are you feeling?"
"Good! Your aunt and I went out for a walk, then shopped for a few things today." Yunho chuckles. 
"Cute. Weather's been nice. Glad you guys have been getting out."
"Yeah, enough about that though. A friend, hm?" She chuckles.
"Yeah." Yunho smiles. "We have the same class together. I've been helping her with some of the assignments."
"So, it's a her." Yunho can hear his aunt giggling in the background, making him roll his eyes.
"Uh huh—" Before he can start lecturing his mom and aunt about how you two are merely friends, classmates, another call comes through on the line. He stops in his tracks and quickly removes the phone from his ear to see who's calling. "Mom, can I call you back in a second? I just got home."
"Okay, get settled. I love you!" She says in a sing-song manner and Yunho laughs a bit.
"Love you too." He responds before ending that call and switching to the next. "Hey. Is everything okay?"
You chuckle on the other line before responding with a shaky: "Why wouldn't things be, Yunho?"
"I don't know. Just wasn't expecting your call, is all."
"I'm sorry, are you busy? I'm so dumb, I really shouldn't have—"
"It's okay, Y/N. Seriously. I just got home from the library." He steps inside his apartment finding that Yeosang is in his beloved cave, yelling at his computer screen per usual. He walks into his room and places his things down, settling onto his computer chair with a soft sigh.
"Okay." You haven't said much and it's obvious to Yunho that something is indeed wrong. You needed someone and you turned to Yunho for comfort.
God, he sucks at this. But, he wants to be there for you.
"What's going on?"
"Huh? Nothing. I just wanted to check on you." He chuckles.
"I don't get very far, Y/N. Don't worry." Silence. "What's bothering you?"
"How do you know something's bothering me?"
"I can practically hear you thinking from here." You giggle and it warms Yunho's heart. At least his effort is somewhat working.
"I.. was at Seonghwa's not too long ago. And I just didn't wanna be there. I asked him to take me home and he was upset. I don't know why I feel bad about it."
"Feel bad? What is there to feel bad about?"
"Maybe I should've asked him in a better way, I don't know. I felt suffocated and demanded rather than politely telling him."
"Y/N, you don't owe him anything. You don't need to explain anything to him. He doesn't need to be upset about you going home because that's your own choice. He's mad because he didn't get his way for once. Still not your problem." You let out a shaky sigh and a tear manages to slide down your cheek. This was so dumb, you shouldn't have called Yunho to vent about this.
"This must sound so dumb, I'm sorry Yunho—"
"It's not dumb. Don't be sorry." Silence, again. "I hope you know that if things don't get better, you were never in the wrong. You don't need him."
"I know." Yunho doesn't say much because he doesn't wanna attack you or make you feel worse. So, he sits there. Listening to you breathe.
Listening to you sigh, be upset.
"Yunho?"
"Mhm?"
"I'm sorry for leaving you behind earlier."
"It's okay, you don't have to apologize."
"Mind if I join you at the library again tomorrow?" He softly smiles to himself and nods as if you can see him.
"You're always welcome to join me."
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bbybluemochi · 8 months
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bbybluemochi's F.A.Q. ✧・゚
Hi! Arun here! I thought that instead of answering your submissions one by one I’d gather all the frequently asked questions and answer them in a single post (this is a mix of art/OC/commissions related q's)!
Please note that I do read all your messages and I’m so grateful for every one of them!!!! I keep all your words really close to my heart, thank you for liking my art and loving my Ocs as much as I do, it means the world to me <3
What’s the name of your OCs?
They’re called Cotton (the blonde one) and Puppy (the dark haired one). The original idea for them was to make some silly wolf/bunny OCs (that’s why Cotton is called like that, it was supposed to be a joke about her tail…) but somewhere along the way they took over and became something completely different!
Is there a webcomic for your OCs?
Not currently! I don’t have the time or the skills (for now) but I’d love to give it a try in the future! 
I was wondering if you mind people using your OC art as character art/inspiration for DnD?Just games with friends that are for fun, nothing for commercial.
Go ahead! I find that really flattering.
Just out of curiosity, are any of your OCs bisexual?
Both Cotton and Puppy are lesbians. That’s what I feel comfortable drawing since I’m a lesbian myself. If I ever do draw a bisexual OC I’ll make sure to mention it! <3
I think you said Cotton was a dominatrix in a previous ask, but is Puppy on the opposite side of the spectrum or is she just glad to be there whichever way?
Puppy is very much a sub. They both switch (Puppy as a service top and bottom and Cotton as a top and power bottom), but the dom/sub dynamic never changes. Also I wanted to mention that these dynamics do not transcend outside of the bedroom that much, there’s more to them than their kinks but I do love to draw them deep in their submissive/dominant headspaces. 
Are one of the lesbian fairytale characters trans?
I didn’t design either of them with that in mind, but I’m super OK with people headcanoning them as trans!
May I use your art as a header/icon?
Of course! Remember to credit me tho~
Do you allow people to use your art freely?
I don’t allow reposts of my work (not that it matters that much, since almost all my art has been already reposted a million times ))): but I’d really appreciate it if you just shared my posts instead of reposting my art). As for phone backgrounds/wallpapers or stuff like that, yeah!
Do you have an instagram account or other social media, I would love to follow you there.
My main platform is twitter (same @), I post all my drawings there and I’m usually more active over there. Tumblr is kind of like an archive. I really like the community here but I find it easier to reply/interact with people on twitter! As for instagram, I do have an old art account (same @, again) but I haven’t posted in so long. I may start posting there soon if a certain rich guy decides to keep destroying the bird app tho. 
I’ve always thought about this… how do you think it’d look if the aesthetics/styles [of your OCs] were reversed?
I’ll have to explore that in a future drawing, I haven’t thought much about it! 
Do you write fics for your characters or has anyone else written fics about them?
Not yet! A couple of my friends have offered, tho! I usually like to stick to drawing because that’s what I do best, I don’t wanna subject anyone to my writing (it’s not very good,,,,). When I share some of my Ocs stories, I think it will be in comic format. 
What's the story behind your OCs? 
There are several, actually!! I like to put my OCs in different universes. As for now, there’s the Fairytale AU, the modern setting AU (this is the original one), and now the Werewolf/Vampire AU. I also did a drawing of them as spiderwoman and black cat but I don’t think that AU is gonna make a comeback for a while. I’m also planning a scifi AU but I’m not sure I’d be able to pull off that aesthetic with my current art style so I’m still working on it. 
The Fairytale AU is the one I’m working on most of the time. I wanna release a small artbook with their story + illustrations. That was my main goal for 2023 but life got in the way, so maybe,,, 2024??? *crosses fingers* 
Is your shop down? It’s saying that it’s not available.
I open my shop for 1-2 weeks every now and then, that’s why it’s closed most of the time! My plan is to open the store again in september, if i manage to finish all the merch in time! I’ll announce it on my twitter and tumblr account when I do. 
Would you ever share a tutorial on how you make your art?
Yes, of course! I’m not very good at explaining my drawing process but If it helps anyone I’d love to! Just let me know what part of the drawing process you’d like me to focus on, because If i try to make a full illustration tutorial it’s gonna be too long/difficult to follow. 
May I ask what brush do you use for your lineart?
I use a different brush almost every time I start an illustration, I’m not very consistent when it comes to that (I think it’s mainly because I haven’t found the perfect brush yet!). But let me know what illustration you’re curious about and I’ll try to remember which one I used!
Do you come up with poses off the top of your head or do you use some type of reference? I always struggle with them.
It depends on what I’m drawing! Some of my drawings are reinterpretations of paintings (I’m obsessed with pre-raphaelite painters and arthurian legend paintings in general), so in those cases I try to adapt the poses to my art style. Even If I’m trying to recreate an already existing painting I end up changing the poses/proportions a lot along the way to fit my personal taste/art style. 
Other times, I just sketch from imagination (this is more entertaining, I think, since looking at references can make the drawing process a bit tedious). If I find it hard to draw a certain pose/part of the body I will look up references on printerest, no shame in using pictures! If I still can’t find the pose I need I’ll just take a picture of myself (this is like, a last resort for me. I’m too lazy for this). 
My personal advice would be to use references for the pose and then tweaking the pose and trying to make it more personal 
I love the way the armor was designed and rendered! Can you share some tips on designing armor? 
Drawing armor is something I still struggle with most of the time. I think I’ve learned a lot in the past year (please don’t look at my armor drawings from 2022,,,,, sigh) but I still struggle to draw certain poses/angles. My advice is: don’t hesitate to draw non-functional armor!!! There’s always gonna be someone like “actually, that armour makes no sense :)” well !!!! it looks cool as hell so who caresssss !!!!! 
I think it’s more important for you to get comfortable drawing armor before you start beating yourself up for not drawing accurate ones. It takes a lot of practice (I’m still learning!!!), especially if you’re trying to draw historically accurate ones, so start by having fun, and then work your way up from there.
Most of the tips I can think about are really hard to explain without a visual example, so let me know if that’d be a tutorial you would be interested in and I’ll try to make one (I’m cringing a little just saying this bc I swear, my armor skills are so bad compared to some amazing artists out there………..).
Do you allow cosplays your OCs?
YES…. YES PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM BEGGING YOUUU ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER !!!!!! *rattles my cage* 
Do you allow fanart of your OCs?
Again,,, PLEASEEEEEEEEE !!! Just tag me so I don’t miss it and remember to give me credits if you do !!!!!!!!!!! :D
I was wondering if you use procreate , clip studio, or similar apps?
A mix of both. I used to draw on procreate only until I got a tablet and now I’m a clip studio user (csp sponsor me please), and now that’s all I use. I’m so used to drawing on PC now that I don’t think I’d be able to go back to procreate, but I still like that app a lot! All my drawings (even the ones I do on csp) always get retouched on procreate because I like some of the effects (*dreamy sigh* chromatic aberration filter,,, love u). 
I wanted to know if the marks Cotton has on her waist are tattoos or like a scar? 
Those are tats! Puppy is a tattoo artist ~~~ (I’m actually not sure if i’ll keep the waist tats on Cotton or if I’ll end up redesigning them,,,)
I was wondering if you take commissions?
Not right now. I also don’t have any plans of opening commissions any time soon! When I do, I’ll post a google forms on twitter and here on tumblr with the prices and type of comms I do. But there’s nothing scheduled. 
Even tho I'm not doing commissions atm, I’m currently looking for illustration jobs (specially book covers), so don’t hesitate to email me at [email protected]
That's all for now, thank you for reading!! I think I covered most of the questions, I'll make another q&a post in the future! Bye~~
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ladystardust-thinks · 9 months
Text
high-achiever - e.u.
Request by: @stilessbaseballbat
Hello! Can I request an imagine with Eggsy where him and the reader are appointed to train the newbies, but they become too competitive and split the group in two - One is Eggsys group and the two the readers. They make a bed which group will pass the Kingsman training? (you can choose who wins and what the loser is going to have to do)
Eggsy Unwin x Fem!Reader
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A/N: It hasn't been long since I got that request. Sure. I totally didn't have it in my wips since forever. Anyway, I feel a little boring because of the choice I made on who wins but eh it's okay. It was like 4am. I'm proud of the OCs though 'cause I think they're pretty lovable. (aka I love them and they're my pretty little babies so you also have to love them, no pressure.)
Any feedback, is good feedback!! Correct me on anything you think is wrong.
word count: 2.1k
Tags/Warnings: She/Her pronouns!!, Jealous Reader if you squint really hard, kinda ooc eggsy?, OC x OC, reader is an overachiever, bad writing? English is not my first language, I learned it entirely out of social media, mention of a dog being shot (but not really), mention of reader having a dog (again, only if you squint.), Use of Y/N
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"Gawain! Get up!" Eggsy's voice echoes loudly through the woman's house as he swings all the curtains wide open. She winces at the sudden light and curses the boy through her teeth.
"Y'know Galahad, I have heard rumours about people saying good morning as a greeting. Also that is a total violation of privacy. Do you know that? It's important to me that you know that." The girl whines shoving her tired body towards the kitchen, pouring coffee in a mug.
"Good morning, Gawain." Eggsy pauses. "Alright, now, the trainees list just came in and Merlin told me we are to train them. So take a look at it." He pushes the papers towards her and she takes a sip from her coffee, not making an attempt to take the papers. She looks up at Eggsy like he had killed her whole family.
"Why are you all that excited?" She asks rhetorically, not waiting for an answer. "Well, first of all I've been there and it's interesting to see newbies in my position and second of all it's going to be something to add to my successes. I'm high already but I am aiming higher."
He answers in a matter-of-factly tone and sits opposite to the girl. "What makes you think you are going to be all that good at it. I mean I am going to be there sure but-" She was rudely cut off.
"Are you implying you are better than me, Gawain?" The agent says slowly with a smile forming on his face.
"I wasn't implying anything, actually. I thought that was obvious. But before you rudely cut me off and-" She grunts in annoyance. Yet again being interrupted. She didn't like being interrupted.
"Then we can put it to the test. Drink your coffee and get dressed we are going to HQ." He states and starts wandering around the house, almost too comfortable, opening her closet and pulling out her suit, throwing it on her bed.
"You're doing it, again! I don't really appreciate that! And how did you even get inside my house? I never gave you a key. The door was locked, the lock isn't broken. What the bloody hell! You can't just sneak in like that." The woman complains kicking Eggsy out of her room as she starts to change her clothes. "We are Kingsmen, Gawain. Nothing is ever locked." She heard him say behind the door.
***
The newbies were in their cabin and they looked terrified in this sort of fun way. Y/N couldn't help but wonder if she also looked that terrified her first day at HQ. No. She thought. She was too confident. Her friends and family were sure, that was going to be the death of her. She was always sure of herself. Always. She had always been competitive.
Her parents still teased about stuff she'd do when she was little, like crying when she'd land on someone else's property while playing Monopoly.
They didn't even pressure her into all of those academic successes, she just did it.
The competitive part of her - if not her only part - is also what brought her where she is, doing something that Merlin, probably, wouldn't really like. But just like there wasn't one bone in her body that wasn't competitive, there also wasn't one that wasn't a winner.
***
"Do we get to choose who's in our team?" She found herself whispering at Eggsy while the newbies conversed with one another. "If you have your eye on someone that you think would make it easier, then no." He answers nonchalantly.
"Damn it." She swears under her breath, disappointed. "But we could choose eachothers teams. Like I choose yours, you choose mine." He murmurs.
"Okay. Then I'm giving you Marie." She says checking the document in her hand to make sure she got the name right. "Why Marie?" Eggsy asks, genuinely curious. "I don't know she seems annoying, she'd talk your ear of and get you distracted."
"Oh. Well that's good, because I actually think she's quite-"
"Then no." She changes her mind and shakes her head, her eyes still at the trainees looking over the cabin like lost puppies.
The blonde smirks, he marks his coworker's initials next to 'Marie Brown' on his own document. "Marie?" He says looking at the group of people right in front of him, searching with his eyes for the short redhead. "Yes." She speaks up. "You're with Gawain." He states.
The girl sprinted towards the, not-so-thrilled, agent excitedly. She smiled with all her teeth and squealed, standing tall, next to her.
She threw a sarcastic, tight lipped smile smile her way, then turned to look at Eggsy, the grimace never leaving her face. He just tried to hide his giggles under his breath and smiled, looking only forward because he knew if he turned to look at the woman's expression, he'd break down in laughter.
Marie grasped her mentor's shoulder proudly and Y/N's eyes widened but Eggsy's ability to hold his laugh was only getting worse. She nudged his rib with her elbow and coughed. "Okay, Elliot, with Galahad." She marked the initials G.U. on her document and let a breathy laugh out.
His eyes widened and his eyebrows went up, he turned to look at her and Elliot walked over to him. "Hello, sir." He sniffed and put his hand out for Eggsy to shake. His voice was shaky. Eggsy looked at him, then back at his sweaty hand and shook it.
Elliot let go from Eggsy's hand and wipped his hands on his uniform, fixing it and clearing his throat, as he walks next to Eggsy.
"He does realize that we are almost the same age and I am not his teacher, right?" The agent turns to Y/N and she snorts shortly. "Dont be mean," she says quietly "that's my job." She continues.
"Well, this is going to be fun." Eggsy mumbles under his breath. Suddenly regretting ever planting the idea of a bet in the girl's head.
***
"Okay, so." She clapped once to get the attention of the newbies. "The next days are going to be full of missions and tests, but you have to keep two things in mind. Always listen to your mentor and of course always look at the bigger picture. You're going to be in danger, multiple times through out this training process. If you look too closely you don't think practical, you think hypothetical. And a Kingsman doesn't have time for hypothetical."
Eggsy found himself staring at the young agent while she spoke with such loyalty and dedication. There was always this on going banter between them, about who is better at this or that, little things. But it had been amusing for him how she took everything so seriously, like she just had to win. Even if that was just an unserious game of rock-paper-scissors. He couldn't help but wonder why she was so competitive, with everyone but especially him, at most times.
That being the only trait they had in common.
How competitive they both were.
In general they we really different, she was serious most of the time and she always went by the rules, more logical than emotional, she'd always follow a good piece of advice. Eggsy was a free-er soul, he is emotional, he gets attached really easily. A smart-ass if she's ever met one. And he had this weird hero complex she could never understand, this 'I'm saving the world.' kind of attitude. She wanted to wipe that smirk of his face, bring him down to earth, shout 'We're all saving the world here!' at him.
***
"Hello there." Agent Gawain told the newbies, wet like cats, seeming miserable.
"What the hell was that?!" Hayley whined, a trainee from Eggsy's team. "That was your first quest, and if it was hot in here you'd be thanking us now." He answered the blonde girl's question.
"What was surprising, something that has never happened before, was that all of you failed. We had to drain the water so you don't drown." Y/N told her trainees. They all looked at eachother awkwardly, ashamed, as the experienced agent put her hands over her chest disappointed.
"Are you kidding me? We almost died for your stupid training and we get scolded like we're little children? I am not dealing with this crap." She got her luggage from under her bed and pushed through Galahad and Gawain so she can leave. Eggsy grimaced, his nose scrunching and his eyes squeezing shut. "She left." He heard a familiar whisper from next to him. "I know." He said. "Okay. Hopefully by the next mission we won't have anyone storming off." He turned to the rest of the group.
***
It had now came down to the final choice. The two final trainees for the decision to be made were, ironically enough, Elliot and Marie.
The trainees were both at different rooms, one across from another. Agents Gawain and Galahad were both leaning on different walls, one across from another.
Both waiting nervously to hear the gunshot from their trainee's gun. The woman made a clicking noise with her tounge as the man constantly tapped his foot against the metal floor. "Nervous, Galahad?" The agent asks the blonde. "Never, Gawain." He answers.
Gunshots are heard from both rooms and the agents let out a breath they didn't know they had been holding, realisation came to them immediately and they locked in eachother's eyes. "Does this mean...?" Eggsy started. "I think so? It hasn't happened to me before." Y/N says confused and both Elliot and Marie come out of the rooms.
"I almost shot my Barney..." Marie says to her mentor with wide eyes, holding her dog close to her chest. "Yup I know, he's alright, Mar." Agent Gawain hugs her trainee, remembering how it felt to even think of shooting Stevie when she went through her own training.
"I- Me too." Elliot says, still shocked. She sees Eggsy over Marie's shoulder, as he sighs, grimacing yet again, questioning and giving two hesitant pats on Elliot's back she couldn't describe as confrontational. She laughs on Marie's shoulder and Eggsy rolls his eyes at her.
"Okay. I mean. Good news is...you're both Kingsmen now. And you have your dogs!"
Y/N says letting Marie go.
"Congratulations on your dedication."
Marie and Elliot start talking and Eggsy discreetly takes his coworker away.
"So it's tie?" He whispers.
"I guess so." She shrugs.
She looks back at Marie and Elliot. Elliot awkwardly laughs as he makes a depressing attempt to touch Marie's arm and she giggles putting some of her hair behind her ear.
"Well that's akward." She says and Eggsy follows her eyes and also looks at the, now, young Kingsmen.
"Let the kids be. They're living their love."
"You're making me have a mid-life crisis before my time, we're like two years older than them."
Eggsy sighs theatrically. "Yes, but they feel like my kids already. Look at them opening their wings."
Gawain rolls her eyes.
"Must be sad for you. Now you can't make a move on Marie." She says sarcastically.
"I just said that so you wouldn't put her on my team. Marie's not really my type."
"What's your type then?"
"I don't know. Witty, smart, boring agents that can't bare losing?"
"Sounds very specific for the sake of 'not knowing'."
"Familiar too doesn't it?" A proud smile plays around Eggsy's lips as he is staring at her.
"Yeah, it does. Thank god my type is annoying, funny, immature agents that I just can't get off my back." She grins.
"I'm pretty hard to get rid of. Would you break a rule, Gawain?"
"Only if I am to break it with such good company, Galahad."
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I would love to read your thoughts, i hope you enjoyed the story. Have a gorgeous day. Mwah!
-Shad
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earthtoharlow · 3 months
Text
Flashing Lights
14) In The Moment
Jack Harlow x Singer!OC
Series Masterlist
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“Maryse Monet, are you listening to a word I’m saying?”
Maryse continued chewing on the end of her ink pen nervously. It’s been two days since she’s spoken to Jack. All she could think about was how they ended things. The longer they went without talking the worse the situation was going to get especially with them both going on tour on opposite sides of the world.
Her thoughts were broken when CoCo started snapping her fingers in her face. “Huh?”
She watched as her manager just sighed before pulling up a chair and sitting right beside her. “Alright girl, what’s going on? You’ve been staring into space for an hour now looking like a sad puppy left on the porch.”
Maryse just groaned and put her head into her arms on the table in front of them. “Do you think I prioritize work over my personal relationships?” She muttered into her arm.
“Girl, you have gotta speak up.”
She sat up looking CoCo in the eyes and repeated herself. “Do you think I prioritize work over my personal relationships? And be honest with me.”
“Yes.” Coco said quickly without hesitation, making Maryse gasp softly.
“What the hell—“
CoCo held up her hand to stop her, “Look you know I’m always going to be honest with you so listen to me alright.”
Maryse sat back in her seat with her arms around herself as CoCo continued.
“I’m going to start out by saying that you’re a very hard worker, you eat, sleep, and breathe this studio. I always know I can find you here. As a manager I love that about you…” Maryse watched as CoCo tried to gather her thoughts
“But as a friend and someone who cares about you, sometimes I think you forget that you’re allowed to have fun, not everything needs to be work work work.”
Maryse couldn’t help but stop her there. “I know I’m allowed to have fun but my career is very important to me, it could go away any second.”
CoCo let her finish before speaking again. “Your career won’t be in jeopardy if you take a break from the studio, and hang out with your boyfriend or travel to see him for a couple of days.”
She knew Maryse wasn’t going to like what she said next. “Nate has unfortunately done a number on you.” Maryse immediately narrowed her eyes at her manager. “What do you mean by that?”
“You forget that I was around when things got really bad. I remember him telling you that you’d never amount to anything in this industry, and that he would make sure of it. When you guys eventually broke up for good you threw yourself into work because you felt like music was the only thing you had, but Maryse that’s not the case anymore.”
Maryse’s eyes started watering as CoCo put everything in perspective. “You have someone who loves and supports you. This relationship won’t survive if you both don’t prioritize each other and actually open up to one another. You have to find that balance between work and your relationship. I know you said that Jack hasn’t been himself lately. You guys need to have a lengthy discussion that doesn’t involve snapping at one another.”
Maryse knew everything CoCo was saying was right, she always tried to push everything Nate put her through to the side but now it was starting to affect her current relationship. Jack didn’t deserve that all. She needed to talk to him asap.
“Thank you, CoCo.” Reaching out and giving her manager and long time friend a hug. She needed this eye opening conversation more than anything. CoCo squeezed her tight before letting go.
“Anytime, now you don’t have anything scheduled for the next couple days. Go surprise that man!” CoCo told her.
Maryse nodded before rushing out the studio to go home and pack. Once she got in her car she texted Urban letting him know she was getting the first flight to France and not to say anything to Jack.
***
Jack was having a hard day or rather a hard week. It’s been days since his argument with Maryse and they still haven't made up. The weight of the situation pressed heavily on his mind.
The longer they went without talking the harder it was to concentrate on his performances. He kept replaying the argument in his head wondering if he said too much or too little. The distance both physically and emotionally was eating at him, the ache in his chest getting worse with each passing moment.
He was in the city of love with some of his favorite people and he couldn’t even enjoy it because he wasn’t with the love of his life. An overwhelming sense of loneliness started to creep around him. He was yearning for a chance to see Maryse and hold her.
Jack knew he needed to apologize to Maryse, the weight of the negative reviews hung heavy over his head like a dark cloud. Frustration had been bubbling within him and without realizing it he let criticism seep into his interactions.
His thoughts were cut short momentarily when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He sighed in disappointment as it was just Nemo wishing him a good show and to keep his foot on necks and not let the world forget him.
Jack stood as Neelam knocked on his trailer door letting him know he was to be on stage in 15. 15 minutes suddenly felt like 5 minutes, and before he knew it he was on stage. The roar of the fans masked the turmoil within him. Music flowed from him but his only thoughts were of Maryse. Their argument still lingered casting another shadow over his performance as he tried to be as present as possible.
As Jack looked out into the sea of faces, he desperately wished that she was there. The cheers suddenly felt distant, the applause hollow as he continued yearning for the comfort of Maryse's presence.
When the crowd started singing the lyrics of Poison; a song he wrote for Maryse back at him, he found himself silently pleading for a chance to make amends. In that moment the spotlight felt more isolated than ever, even the cheers couldn’t distract him from wanting to seek forgiveness.
Jack almost felt bad for ending his set a few minutes early but he needed to get back to his hotel room. As he stepped off stage the adrenaline was still running through his veins. Lost in his thoughts he was taken aback when he turned the corner and found Maryse standing there, a hopeful look in her eyes. A mix of surprise and relief washed over him as the noise from the crowd faded into the background as they continued to stare at each other.
“I couldn’t spend another day without talking to you.” Maryse admitted, a small smile playing on her lips. Jack walked closer to her, almost not believing she was standing there in front of him. He felt speechless as he opened his mouth to figure out what to say. All he could do was pull her into a tight hug, daring anyone to pull them apart.
“I missed you.” Maryse whispered into his chest, her voice mixed with sincerity and longing. Jack hugged her tighter, the warmth of her presence eased his mind as he was plugged with his thoughts the whole performance. “I missed you more.” He admitted almost desperately. He needed her to know that he missed her more than anything.
Jack couldn’t stop himself as he pulled her into a kiss, he didn’t care that they were still standing backstage with people around. This kiss was a silent promise to set aside the argument for the time being. Breaking away, Maryse gave him another small smile. “Let’s talk after you’ve showered, okay? I just want to be with you right now.” Jack nodded as he held her hand as they headed back to his trailer to grab his things and make their way to his hotel room.
When they got back to the hotel room, Jack immediately hopped in the shower promising not to take long. Maryse got comfortable taking off her shoes and jacket while she waited for him. She was nervous to have this conversation scared it would turn into another disagreement.
As promised Jack was out of the shower soon and sat next to Maryse on the bed. It was silent for a moment before Maryse spoke first. “I want you to know how sorry I am.” She began, sounding genuinely regretful.
Jack sat and listened. “Sometimes, it feels like you prioritize your career over us.” He admitted, his vulnerability laying bare. Maryse took a deep breath and grabbed his hand gently, “I never want you to feel that way. My career matters, but so do you. I’ll work on finding a better balance.”
Wanting to apologize for his behavior he opened up to Maryse as well. “This is all so different to me. I’m not used to dating someone who’s just as busy as I am. In the past, it was easier – plans could change on the fly. But with our schedules, it’s challenging.”
Maryse listened, already sensing he was mentally struggling trying to figure out how they were going to balance work and their relationship. “I get it, we’re going to figure it out, okay. We can find a middle ground.”
Jack nodded, already feeling a lot better after talking it over with her. He already felt lighter, but he knew there was one more thing he needed to apologize for. They were cuddling in bed now, “I owe you an apology.” He began, remorse in his eyes. “Before our argument, I had been distant and that wasn’t fair to you.”
He watched as she nodded. “I understand, but can you help me understand why?”
Jack glanced at her, contemplating whether to open up. Now was the perfect time and yet, the words seemed locked behind a wall of pride. The desire to shield her from his struggles battled with the need for support. He didn’t want to share the weight of the criticism of his album onto her, the pressure to maintain a facade of strength held him back.
He hesitated before talking again, “It’s been a crazy few months with appearances after appearances and I let it affect us. I’m sorry for not communicating that sooner and pulling away.”
Maryse appreciated the apology but couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to the story. Choosing to be patient, she decided to ignore the subtle signs for now, hoping that in time he would feel comfortable enough to open up and share the feelings he was holding back.
After the heartfelt apologies they decided to break free from each others arms and explore Paris as it was now dark outside. They walked the streets catching up while indulging in greasy fast food at a corner bistro, sharing fries with one another. The laughter they shared replaced the tension that had been created over the last couple weeks. Their eyes met, exchanging a silent acknowledgment that the storm had passed.
Making their way to the Eiffel Tower, Jack couldn’t help but marvel at the breathtaking sight. Almost captivated by the glow surrounding her, it was like Maryse outshone everything. A smile spread across his face as he gazed at her, realizing just how fortunate he was to have her by his side.
Unable to contain his emotions, he gently cupped Maryse’s face and gave her a lingering kiss beneath the sparking lights. “No matter what happens, I want you to know that I will always love you.” Jack whispered, a promise that they could get through anything. Maryse shared the sentiment by pulling him into another kiss.
Pulling away she tugged on his arm as they walked closer to Eiffel Tower. “Babe, you have to take photos of me in front of it!” Maryse practically begged. All he could do was chuckle back, enjoying her enthusiasm and took out his phone. After he snapped a couple shots, Maryse smiled down impressed.
“Watch out, Urban Wyatt! You should quit being a rapper and become a photographer!” She teases, a playful glint in her eyes.
“Nothing I want more than to get paid to just take pictures of how beautiful you are.” Maryse as always couldn’t help but playfully gag and cringe. Jack grinned, enjoying her reaction. He missed this.
With a mischievous grin, he swept her off her feet and lifted her over his shoulders, playfully spinning her around. Maryse squealed in surprise, laughter bubbling up as she wrapped her arms around his neck. They ignored the bemused looks from strangers as they enjoyed their night, happy to be spending time together again.
JACKHARLOW
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liked by urbanwyatt, lifeofmonet, dojacat, yungskylark, saweetie, cozane, thomaschristmas, and 678,568 others
jackharlow: Trying to compete with the Eiffel Tower in the ‘Who Shines Brighter’ contest. Spoiler alert: she wins every time.
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user: oh to have Jack Harlow be in love with me
user: please tell me y’all are looking for a third
urbanwyatt: mom & dad 🥹
user: this post just told me how single I was in 30 different languages
user: adopt me
user: this post murdered me and dragged me all over slaycity with how much it served
lifeofmonet: just developed lactose intolerance from how cheesy this was 🧀
***
AN: rewrote the ending so many times before deciding to make our bbs happy but I wonder how long this will last 🤫 as always let me know your thoughts 💋
Tag List:
(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)
@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @bout-mine @mace23477 @snows-blog-of-fiction @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @comehomeimissyou@minkookie95@harlowcomehome @jackharloww@jaydaaasworld@xxkoolkatxx @kkrenae @hufflewhore128 @w1ldthoughts @jackiehollanderr @katiaw2 @halfmoondaze @babybardi2@vinniehackersbaee
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theitgirlnetwork · 1 month
Text
What Are You Willing To Do?
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Note: Hey everyone, its time to introduce a new boy to the lineup. Probably our craziest lead boy, Mr. Rafe Cameron. This is a snippet of his upcoming series. The first chapter should be coming out tomorrow along with an update in my other stories: Me and You and Better. I hope you all enjoy the snippet and are excited to embark on this new ride with me. It's gonna be toxic, sweet, and fun. Giving very, I can fix him/daddy I love him energy lol. But that's what Rafe needs! Pls heed the warnings though, this shit is for fun, and not real life, do not go find a crazy motherfucker like Rafe pls...or my oc. Let me know what you think and if you're excited for this story! The aesthetic for our leading lady is already posted. (Milan Cabot aesthetic).
Warning: Depictions of toxic relationships, dom/sub dynamics (throughout the series), obsession, explicit content and language (and everything else bad that comes with Rafe's crazy ass) MDNI.
“Take me home!” 
“Yeah? That’s what you want, kid, that’s exactly where I’ll take you.” Rafe chuckles humorously, pulling his hand from its place on her thigh, leaving the skin he’d been warming with his hand open to the cool night air. “Goin’ the fuck home.”
She watches as his large hand expertly whips the vehicle in the opposite direction of Tannyhill, turning to go down her neighborhood instead. The houses are just as nice, just as expensive, but she knew there would be something missing at her parents home. Rafe’s nonchalant, arrogant demeanor has her blood boiling under her skin in frustration. She wants to wipe the easy look off of his face. “M’not a fuckin’ kid.” she huffs, crossing her arms and leaning her head against the passenger window. 
She feels widened, sharp blue eyes burning into the back of her head as she stares into the dark streets, gasping when she feels the car jolt, tires skirting as the lunatic driver pulls into the shoulder of the road. Before she can react that same large hand is encasing her jaw, pointer finger and thumb pushing into her cheeks as he guides her face to his. “I’m like…I’m genuinely trying to figure out who the fuck you’re talking to.”
She whines a little, leaning into his hand, glancing over to the windows to ensure no one was witnessing this. “Rafe-”
“No, because, I know it’s not fuckin’ me. Like, you know better than that shit.” Rafe says, adjusting his grip, the cool metal of his ring resting against her cheek. “You know, I take bein’ your man like…insanely serious, like always…everything I do is for us. Like, you know that.”
“I…I do…”
“Handle business so I can make sure you have food to eat, buy you have the nicest shit, fuck you real good, m’not gettin’ the issue.”
“M’not saying there’s a problem.” 
Rafe releases his grip fully, taking to cupping her jaw instead, smoothing his thumb down the side of her neck. “And I don’t ask you for much do I, baby? Just hold me down. Listen to me. Trust me to build our life an’ shit, that’s too hard?”
“No, it isn’t, m’not saying I’m not grateful, Rafey, it’s just that sometimes-”
“I’m not trying to, like, minimize what you do for me.” Rafe cuts in again, softening his tone and leaning in to rest his forehead against hers. “But for this shit to work, princess, I need someone who’s gonna actually ride for me. And uh, I need to know now if you can do that, sweetheart. Got too much shit to do to keep having this conversation. Too many plans for us. You need to decide if you can be my woman.”
“I can, baby, I can.” she sighs, nudging Rafe’s nose with her own, ignorant to what he’d managed to do again, blissfully unaware as her eyes slip closed and her guard slips down. “M’sorry.”
“I know you are. But uh, what are you willing to do to show it?” he asks softly, working to keep the smirk off of his face as he watches the small resolve his girl had mustered crumble as she breathes him in, her knees retreating from facing the window and moving over to him instead.
“Anything, Rafey.”
“Yeah?” he says smugly, tugging her into a deep, nasty kiss, tonguing her down with his hand hooked in the necklace he’d bought her, holding her to him. “That’s good t’a hear, pretty girl. M’gunna hold you to that shit.” he murmurs against her lips before lightly nudging her back into her seat and starting the car, mumbling under his breath as he drives them to Tannyhill.
“‘Take me home.’ Must’ve lost your fuckin’ mind.”
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avelera · 4 months
Text
I think the term, “flaws” as a necessity for writing well-rounded fictional characters is often misunderstood. It can lead to new writers thinking these flaws should be in a laundry list alongside their OCs hobbies, eye color, and favorite food.
All of the above traits shouldn’t exist in a vacuum. They all need to serve the story in some way, usually by illustrating plot, character, or themes in a way that enhances the story.
Saying a character’s flaw is that they’re “clumsy” isn’t really a flaw unless this trait stands between them and what they want in a meaningful way. Being clumsy is an obstacle for a dancer, or for a teenager who will be socially judged and derided in a meaningful way to the story. Even still, it’s a somewhat shallow and overused flaw.
What got me thinking about this is the fanfic characters I tend to enjoy writing are flawed people. The more flawed, the better.
I struggled to write Nicky and Joe in The Old Guard because they don’t really have any flaws. They’re never stupid, or selfish, or awkward, or mean. I couldn’t really write them until I wrote a story where the plot is that one of them gets returned by amnesia to his pre-character development Crusader self, back when he was prejudiced, quick to anger, and provincial in his world view. Then I had somewhere to go with them.
By contrast, Newt and Hermann from Pacific Rim are riddled with flaws, and it made them not only popular characters, but a blast to write. They’re rude, loud, snarky, selfish, self-involved, self-important, arrogant, and mean. They’re also both sincerely trying to save the world and willing to sacrifice themselves to do it if necessary. It makes them a wonderful mass of contradictions and it makes them feel like real people.
And recently I wrote about my desire to write Dream and Hob from Sandman as more like their comic selves, with all the rough edges and taciturn misanthropy and selfishness and rudeness that implies. I don’t want to write perfect people.
I saw a post that imagined Hob as passionate about returning artifacts stolen by the English to their country of origin. It was a very sweet post and fun, don’t get me wrong. But as a perverse creature, my first thought was, “Ok, but what if he wasn’t? What if he, as a former bandit and soldier for the Crown, wasn’t in favor of the artifacts being returned? What if he was the opposite?”
Now to be clear, I think it’s more in character for the brief glimpse of the Teacher Hob we see for him to be more worldly, more in favor of repatriation. I genuinely think that take is probably more accurate to the character.
That’s not the point.
The point is that I think one way to avoid creating these sort of perfect shiny soft characters with all the rough edges sawed off is to ask, “Ok but what if they didn’t do the right thing here?”
What if they don’t have perfect, up to date progressive political views on all possible topics? What if they weren’t always altruistic? What if they don’t always say just the right thing to their lover when that person is feeling down? What if they have moments where they’re stupid, selfish, insensitive, prejudiced, rude, awkward, or off-putting?
Personally, I think that’s how you get more interesting characters, who are more like real people and, more importantly, have room to grow or sometimes not grow in a way that better serves your story.
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