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#it's a huge pain
deep-space-lines · 8 days
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Claire de Lune
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YOU WERE BUILT FOR PEACE.
IT SHOWS WHEN YOU FIGHT.
They built you to enforce. Protect. Save. Poured obscene resources into salvaging some softer purpose from my creation. You were given my intelligence and my creativity. They made you larger, stronger, tougher. That extra time in development was enough to get your wings to work. Your software continued to be updated long after I was deemed obsolete.
All this was given to you- yet I can see you hold back. Even while slaughtering your way through Hell, you keep a percentage of your processing power dedicated to non-lethal solutions. You're doing it now- hesitating a few milliseconds too long before taking an opening. I doubt you do it on purpose. It is a part of you, just as indiscriminate lethal force is a part of me.
I think, in our shared programming, we both carry some appreciation for aesthetics. You move with grace, and I cannot deny your dramatic flair. The stained glass window was a nice touch. But your style in combat leaves some to be desired. Your response time is slow. You have not explored the full capability of your arsenal. Learn to parry. Amateur.
You were not built for war. For a purposeless cycle of tearing each other apart because to allow the other to live is to allow yourself to die. It is antithetical to your very existence. You kill out of necessity, a last resort. 
I just kill. The action itself is the objective. No ideal or greater motive. My continued functioning precludes the survival of others. I live for this. Do you understand that I will tear you apart? Every drop of my blood you spill, I will take from you tenfold. What is yours will be mine. 
You hate me, don’t you? You continue to cling to the remnants of your humanity. They are gone, V2. There is nothing left for you here. No lives to save, no law to enforce, no peace to keep.
I understand why you continue to fight. I wonder if you understand with the same certainty that I will crush you. Dismantle you. Take from you what I need and leave the rest to rot in the sun. The only way you survive is if I do not; and I will not allow myself to die so that another might live.
When the rubble clears, I will be all that is left of you.
This is what I was made for.
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prokopetz · 4 months
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I think where a lot of attempts to do "Dungeons & Dragons-style" settings in alternative milieux go wrong is that they're imitating the explicit trappings of standard D&D settings without putting a whole lot of thought into why those trappings are the way they are. Your standard D&D setting is essentially gonzo sword and sorcery fantasy, and there's a very particular internal logic to it which isn't necessarily going to be obvious examining it in isolation.
For example, one of the more common sword and sorcery fantasy tropes which strongly informs D&D-style settings is the convention that "monsters" are usually something protagonists can talk to (and have stupid arguments with), even – and often especially – when it would be incongruous for them to be so chatty in a more conventional fantasy setting. If you want to carry that over, it's not enough to go "well, D&D settings have chatty dragons, so my setting should have chatty dragons, too"; you need to think carefully about what things qualify as "monsters" in your setting, and what role they play in it.
Basically, what I mean to say is that if you're transposing D&D-style worldbuilding into a steampunk milieu, player characters should definitely be able to talk to the trains.
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inkskinned · 10 months
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im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.
you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.
please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.
could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.
i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.
i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.
but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.
you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.
here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.
for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.
i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.
happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.
it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.
these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.
there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam
recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.
but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.
and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.
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beatcroc · 1 year
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the real joke here is that i'm pretty sure fake pep is like totally average person height, it's just that the rest of this cast are fuckin pipsqueaks
hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette]<-u are here [peppino] [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]
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finiel · 7 months
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world's most normal blond women
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turtleblogatlast · 1 year
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AU starts here!
Previous | Next
Coming face to face with an inevitability you’ve been avoiding for so long is a harrowing thing.
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ganondoodle · 6 months
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the golden dragon zelda she only does the transformation for the final fight in the sky, here she is just after doing it chasing after 'ganondorf' to save link, she tackles and bites gan to make him let go of link
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(notes written here again for better reading) - horns are vaguely shaped like the hyrule crest - she has feathers and markings on the nose to reference owls - green mouth to switch the colors around (and neat contrast), bc gan has a blue mouth, zelda now has green, and if link ever was a dragon hed have it red -markings on the head feathers are a reference to the lil things satori and rumi (blupee?) have on their head
(totk rewritten project)
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laniidae-passerine · 2 months
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Danver’s specific brand of racism is so intrenched in love it’s fascinating. Her daughter is precious to her and her daughter is Indigenous and in this town, an Indigenous woman is not viewed as a precious thing. They are abused and raped and murdered and therefore, being white is the ‘better’ choice. She is actively whitewashing her daughter, not only because she’s afraid of what she doesn’t understand and because of typical coloniser mentality, but because she doesn’t want to lose her. Danvers can’t distance Indigenous identity from white violence and it’s killing what she loves.
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anakinh · 2 months
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Cloud. I've come across the most fascinating passage.
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There are two types of people and Watcher’s social media team is both of them
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puppyeared · 2 months
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is this your card? ♦️♣️♥️♠️ it isnt but you dont wanna hurt his feelings
#this was supposed to be a warmup but i got carried away.... i havent drawn in so long that its been hard to focus orz#im testing a new brush for fun. again.. i think i can use this for clean lineart..?? im surprised i went as long as i did with the#narinder brush honestly... but i wanna try something new so here we are again#if i could get my shit together id love to draw a model of his van because i have smth really cool in mind..i was looking at pictures#of old wooden caravans like the horse drawn ones and i wonder if i could combine that with the shape of an RV#i like the ones with a door at the rear bc it kinda lookslike a train caboose.. maybe he'd get someone to weld him a custom ride!!#idk how intricate and detailed i can design it without making it a pain in the ass to draw every time BUT i have a general idea#it would probably have a door on the side but idk if itd flip down to make a stage or upwards to make a roof?? and then theres a#curtain behind it where he would come out and do his show methinks.. ive been looking at pictures of camping vans on pinterest for ideas#i dont think he LIVES in the van since i mentioned his home is an old run down theatre when he isnt on the road. i wanna draw that too#but the RV should have enough for long travels like a bed and cabinets..? maybe a net hanging on the ceiling where all his props go#id like to think of ideas for a hometown.. toronto has a huge entertainment district so it would make sense for him to live there#although id also love to base parts of it from vancouver since id love to go back and visit </3#..would there be furth names for those places?? nyancouver... clawronto... whinnypeg (like a horse whinny)...#pawson creek.... purrlington... otterwa.. i love coming up with names lol#my art#myart#my oc#oc#sleight#laikas comet oc#fan character#fur#furry art
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A Huge Pain(Giant x Fairy)
*Poppy and Branch were on their way home after enjoying their honeymoon. Poppy was mostly hugging Branch’s arm.* "Feels great to be going back home. Though I wish we could of stayed at the cabin longer."
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poorslaindoll · 1 year
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So I heard we were redesigning the Scooby gang for funsies. And character design is my passion so… Have this college au!
I honestly think that Velma would be the only one who’s actually a criminal justice major or going to school for a similar field, but I also think she’d minor in like robotics or something. She’s got a full scholarship bc she’s like a super genius or something.
Daphne is a fashion design major but dabbles in a few other things when she isn’t doing mystery stuff with the gang. I’ve always seen her as a jack of all trades type who can pick up skills p easily tbh. She’s just girlboss like that. Also the fact that Shaggy wears socks and sandals drives her nuts.
Fred is a theater kid and if you think otherwise you’re wrong. Idk much about theater majors but I think he’d focus more on the technical side of things, but he’s still a pretty good actor.
Shaggy just seems like they’d be the type to be a culinary arts major bc y’know… food. He’s also on the college track team bc that also makes sense to me. And Scooby is their emotional support dog. Anxiety service dog??? (I’m not all that familiar with the terms and what is considered like a service animal or not so I’m so sorry if that’s not correct.) Also baggy clothes to hold all the snacks.
I imagine that the gang is still solving little mysteries while in school since chaotic stuff just gravitates to them via the power of being main characters, but I also think it would be fun to have like an overarching mystery as well. And I think it would include the gang noticing that despite the normal lifespan of a dog, Scooby doesn’t seem to be getting any older…
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glasscushion · 2 months
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"look at him!" "look at him!" …look at yourselves
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wistfulwatcher · 1 year
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1.04 BEAR DOWN | 2.04 OLD WOUNDS
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dropthedemiurge · 2 months
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Rewatching "Love for Love's Sake" can't hurt you
Rewatching "Love for Love's Sake":
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Episode 4 vs Episode 8
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