#it's a compliment but I'm just aghast all the same

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hey remember that caramel-carmel Fake Script i was writing? yeah it's technically not done but i'm tired of tinkering with it so here it is! we'll just say it's a uhhhh uncovered partial script or somethin

this is not in any way official! it's a 100% unaffiliated fanwork & i am Just Fucking Around for Funsies

~

BARNABY: oh, I love carmul!

FRANK: [long, disgusted pause] …what? 

BARNABY: Carmul! You know, those tasty little treats you’re holdin’!

FRANK: You mean caramel?

BARNABY: That’s what I said.

FRANK: [scoffs] No, you didn’t. You said carmul.

BARNABY: We’re sayin’ the same thing here.

FRANK: We absolutely are not!

JULIE: [giggles] You really aren’t.

BARNABY: Carmul, caramel, tomato, tomahto! What does it matter!

FRANK: [flustered, stammering] It - it matters! Julie, you agree with me, don’t you?

JULIE: Well… I don’t know, Frank! I think both are fun!

FRANK: You’re both wrong, then! Wally, you agree with me, don’t you?

WALLY: [hesitant] …I say carmul.

FRANK: No! Not you too! How could you poison him like this, Barnaby?

BARNABY: Don’t look at me! I’m innocent, honest!

FRANK: Ha! So you admit that carmul is the wrong pronunciation!

BARNABY: [groans] ah, geez… throw a dog a bone!

FRANK: I’d be delighted to if you’d just-

[distant yelp as Eddie trips off-screen] 

FRANK: Eddie! Thank goodness, finally someone who can put an end to this debate!

EDDIE: [nervous laugh] Oh no, what did I stumble into this time? 

BARNABY: Hold on a tic, Frank. Hey Ed, take this. What do you call that tasty treat?

EDDIE: [with a tinge of fear] A… caramel?

FRANK: [triumphant] a-HA!

SALLY: [approaching] Did someone mention carmul?

FRANK: AGH!

BARNABY: [delighted] Perfect timing, Sally!

SALLY: What, for a delicious morsel? Hand it over, thank you!

FRANK: You’re all wrong, and I’ll prove it! We’re going to go around the neighborhood and - wait. [under his breath] One two three four - [returns to normal volume] we’re taking this to Poppy’s!

BARNABY: Then Home, then Howdy, yeah yeah - might as well ask the daisies, too.

JULIE: Oooh, and the butterflies! 

SALLY: While we’re at it, we should phone everyone in the book, just to get the widest audience input.

FRANK: [unamused] You all think you’re so funny. 

EDDIE: Well, you gotta admit it’s… it’s… 

[brief, tense pause. Eddie clears his throat]

EDDIE: It’s perfectly sensible!

[Frank makes an affronted noise]

FRANK: Poppy will see sense.

-

POPPY: I’d be delighted to have a cah-mehl, but I’m afraid it-

FRANK: [aghast, truly astonished] You’re joking. You have to be joking. CAH-MEHL? Does no one in this town have sense?! Besides Eddie, of course. And Julie - on a technicality.

EDDIE: [oddly pleased] Why thank you. 

POPPY: My goodness, did- did I say it wrong?

BARNABY: [gleeful] Not in the least, Pops!

SALLY: As far as I’m concerned, you added an extra layer of… pizazz to the word. In fact, I may adjust my own pronunciation accordingly!  

POPPY: [flustered] Oh, well, I didn’t - don’t change on my account -

SALLY: Take the compliment, Poppy. 

POPPY: [meekly] Thank you.

[Sally wanders from the group, practicing the slightly adjusted pronunciation]

WALLY: I’m not sure I understand. What’s wrong with carmul or… care… mul… carmel…

POPPY: Don’t strain yourself dear, you’ll get a migraine.

FRANK: What’s wrong is that it’s ENTIRELY incorrect! It! Is! Pronounced! Caramel!

JULIE: Aww, Frank, I’m sure Home and Howdy will agree with us! Team Caramel, WOOO!

BARNABY: [barely restrained disbelief] Boy, won’t they! 

POPPY: I’m not sure what the fuss is about… there isn’t much of a difference, is there?

[Frank makes a high pitched, frustrated noise and stomps off. He can be heard calling Home’s name in the background]

JULIE: Oop, there he goes!

POPPY:  Oh - oh dear. I didn’t mean to rile him up.

BARNABY: Don’t twist your beak about it - Frank’s just bein’ Frank. Now if you’ll excuse us, I wanna see how it goes with Home.

WALLY: [quietly, thoughtful] But Home doesn’t talk like us…

POPPY: If you’re sure… Do let me know how it goes. 

SALLY: [swaying back to the group] I’ll phone you post-haste! Or even better, I can come by for one of your delicious muffins and regale you with the whole escapade, in detail.

POPPY: [audibly pleased] That sounds - well that sounds like a wonderful idea! I have some fresh from this morning-

BARNABY: Sounds great! See you around, Poppy.

-

FRANK: Home, I have an important question to ask you. Is the correct pronunciation for this candy ‘carmul’, or ‘caramel’? One creak for caramel, two for the incorrect carmul.

BARNABY: Talk about a bias…

[Home stays silent. Sally yawns.]

FRANK: One creak for caramel, two-

[Home slowly shuts their curtains]

FRANK: Hmph! The nerve… well, I suppose a house that can’t speak shouldn’t have a say, anyway.

WALLY: Home can speak. He just does it differently.

BARNABY: And I’m pretty sure they just agreed with me, Walls, an’ Sally.

JULIE: They did not!

BARNABY: Looked like it to me!

SALLY: I have to agree with Julie. Home just declared itself a neutral party, and so the vote can’t be counted either way. On to Howardson!

JULIE: Yes! Howdy! Our last hope!

FRANK: He may have terrible taste in company, but he’s a sensible businessman. Poppy and Home have let me-

JULIE: Us!

FRANK: -us down, but surely Howdy will back us up. 

BARNABY: [faux-serious tone, knows something they don’t] Absolutely. Without a doubt.

-

[store bell chimes]

HOWDY: Howdy-do - [brief pause, a tinge of surprise] everyone! My my, what brings the entire neighborhood to my bountiful bodega? Finally decided to clean me out for good?

BARNABY: [snorts] With how fast you restock? I think I’d break my funnybone!

FRANK: We have important business.

HOWDY: [mildly curious] Do we? That’s news to me! But I’m letting you know now that I don’t deal in bugs, Frankly. It’d be hypocritical. 

FRANK: Believe me, I wish I were here to talk insects. Unfortunately, I need to settle a score. Mr. Dear, if you would?

EDDIE: If I would what?

SALLY: [stage-whisper] Barnabello gave you the, ah, parcel earlier?

EDDIE: The…? Oh! Oh, right - I have it right here, just… give me a second… which pocket…? There we go.

[sound of a small, hard candy placed on the countertop] 

HOWDY: A carmul all for me? You shouldn’t have! No, really, you shouldn’t have. I’m on the clock.

BARNABY: [loud bark of laughter] I knew I could count on you, pal! So what’s the tally, Frankie?

[Frank mutters something inaudible]

BARNABY: What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me bein’ right!

FRANK: [explosive] You’re all wrong! The correct pronunciation is caramel, CARAMEL! You’re all - you’re all just - heathens! Heathens, I say! I’m taking my company elsewhere! 

EDDIE: Mr. Frankly…

JULIE: [overlapping, following] Aw, c’mon Frank! 

[the door jingles. Julie and Frank’s hushed arguing in the doorway underlies the dialogue]

HOWDY: It sounds like I missed quite the context! Mind filling me in?

BARNABY: That was pretty much it; a real potato potahto argument.

HOWDY: If you say so, Barn. Speaking of potahtos-

[the background argument abruptly cuts off, the door jingles again as it's closed]

FRANK: [rapidly rejoining the group] Hold it! You don’t really say potahto, do you?

BARNABY: [under breath] Here we go again…

SALLY: [deeply amused] Where on Earth did you pick up such a butchered pronunciation? I must have missed the sign on my tour down from the heavens.

EDDIE: [baffled, underlying the dialogue] I’ve never heard anyone say it that way.

JULIE: Oh! Is it a joke? Like, Barnaby says potato-potahto, and then you jokingly say potahto to make us laugh? 

HOWDY: It’s not a joke. That’s how it’s said.

FRANK: [genuinely disturbed] No - no one says that. It’s potato.

HOWDY: Well I say potahto, thank you very much! And if you ever want one from my store again, you’d do well to accept that.

[Various grumbles of reluctant acceptance]

HOWDY: Good. Now, can I get any of you a refreshing drink after such a squall? You must be parched! 

WALLY: I wouldn’t mind a glass of mulk.

[Horrified silence. A pin drop would be deafening]

[Sudden uproarious and overlapping argument]

#consider this a low budget dollar store fanfic #didnt want to write an actual fic so Just The Dialogue Works Fine #anyway ive never tried to write a script-adjacent Anything so have mercy on me #i dont know what im doing ever! im having fun anyways! #and for the record! im team carmul #well all pronunciations are valid in my book but i say carmul #always have always will dont know why dont know how #my parents tried to make me say it 'caramel' growing up and uhhh No <3 #its fuckin carmul to me. To Me. #i dont say potahto tho. who the fuck does that who isnt a 50s mob boss in jersey #if a 50s mob boss in jersey is reading this: you'll never catch me alive #absolutely unprompted #welcome home #hmmm i should have a writing tag at this point #yk what ill just reuse - wait no i cant reuse the one from my dc sideblog #oh fuck it we'll stay on theme #snippets from the bog #yeah this little writing thing has been in my docs for like. #checking my nonexistent watch here. mmmmmmdont know. a while #and im slightly terrified to post! #its one thing posting art - posting any sort of writing is like breaking your ribs open with a crab cracker #and saying Hi! Have A Taste! I Hope My Viscera Isn't Completely Disgusting! #my god i hope they're at least acceptably in character. im trying im trying #i hope this gives someone a laugh! #or at least a hearty Chortle #or... blowing air through your nose in amusement. yes

[quirkthieves]

speaking of....

On the topic of Monoma & Kindness...

It goes without saying that Monoma is a hog for attention. Regardless of if it's from him or another character, this trait of his is fairly frequented commented on. And he's quite successful at it, from positive applications like his ability to completely divert the audience's attention during their school play, or, more commonly, with the more combative application of his 6/6 Provocateur stat. In battle, you could argue that it stems from his philosophy that he has to act unheroically to become a hero and his resignation to the role of a side character, but the same behavior leeches into his personal and academic life to an extreme degree. Negative attention is better than no attention.

But unlike characters like Bakugou, for Monoma, the currency of attention is still "won" when it''s given to his classmates. Bis personality is listed as "kind to his allies", and we never really see him provoke his classmates. When Tokage apologizes for losing the match, he comforts her, he compliments his teammates during their exercises, and he offers constructive criticism to others. We even know there are members of his class who scold him (such as Kaibara and Kinoko saying they'll snitch when he messes up and gives everyone the wrong shrooms, or Kendou and Awase chopping him, etc) or actively dislike him (like Yui), but he never at any point fails to extol their virtues or reciprocates that dislike. In fact, although he makes the occasional complaint about Kendou's chops, he's aghast at the suggestion made by Midoriya, Iida, and Kirishima that they may be abusive in nature, and excitedly runs to her side when she comes to collect him from their well-intentioned accosting.

And he's still not socially rejected from the class. They take what he says in training as valuable criticism, during their play, his classmates note his superb acting abilities, but say they "won't compliment him because it may inflate his ego", they participate in his games and competitions with 1-A, it's said often that his classmates believe overall he means well, and Tetsutetsu notes that without Kendou, he may have won the class over entirely. Even though certain members like Bondo or Fukidashi may not participate in the snark to the same extent as the others, Monoma's relationship with the group he's most comfortable with and most eager to defend and lift up is one that is defined by a one-sided friendly ribbing and occasional butting of heads.

We see this with Shinsou, too; Monoma, when approaching him for friendship, is entirely unbothered by the fact that Shinsou is somewhat aloof and actively disagrees with him at times. He's comfortable enough with this attitude for him to open up about his past and personal philosophy, and his first impression when Shinsou says that he's not here to make friends and that they're all obstacles is "I like this guy." In the light novels, Monoma even goes out of his way to help prepare a very thoughtful and well-organized room in the dorms for Shinsou, just in case he joins Class 1-B. For all intents and purposes, Monoma sees Shinsou as a friend, even though Shinsou doesn't appear to share the same level of enthusiastic "giving".

But what does Shinsou say that does give Monoma pause? He openly expresses that he wants to rely on Monoma as a key part of the plan. A comment and role that one would assume attention-hungry Monoma would eat up is one that is immediately met with the sentiment of "don't get your hopes up." Statements like "I can't do anything on my own" and "I'm just a side character" all express a similar concept: "I'm not good enough to do what others do." Despite his classmates' assumption that his ego would swell too much if complimented, Monoma seems entirely resigned to personally being a lesser category of person.

But let's put a pin in this and shift focus to how he treats those he doesn't like. Naturally, he sees himself as an extension of the "unit" that is Class B, and so he views Class A the same way, regardless of the individual personalities within. Bakugou's speech calling everyone else "extras" was a slight against his classmates (and not himself, seeing as we know he does consider himself one), and so all of Class A have become active participants in this indignation and are hogging the spotlight away from those he cares about. Again, Monoma is an excellent provocateur, and he makes active and indiscriminate use of this skill. He says some out of pocket shit, and will even continue this behavior when it may be hypocritical or otherwise disadvantageous for him to do so. He never once seeks validation from them, but he sure does go after their attention just about every single time they cross paths, and the success in doing so is rewarding enough for him to continue doing it over and over, even when the end result is usually failure or a scolding of some sort. Nobody does anything for no reason, even if that reason is subconscious-- and he seems to be having fun when he does it! This is a game for him! It is a relationship he has both defined and is comfortable with, and it is inherently competitive if not hostile in nature. Earning Class A's annoyance, anger, and the attention therewith is his reward for pushing the big red PROVOKE button in his brain. And it's not like Monoma does this with everybody he doesn't know-- he attaches himself to Shinsou quickly, and there's a gag in smash about how "if Monoma's opponents are weaker than him, he becomes confused and goes into stand by mode". This call and response system is for a very specific relationship with very specific people. And no matter what, so long as they respond within the confines of that system, he's fine, even if it comes at his active detriment.

So, what happens when people act off-script? When Kirishima, Iida, and Midoriya are trying to find out the truth on if Kendou's chops are abusive, they have the class treat monoma with an uncharacteristic kindness he can't necessarily fight, but it's clear across the span of the evening he's becoming increasingly uncomfortable and even frightened. He tries to escape at some point, and when they won't let him leave, he eventually melts down and becomes completely unresponsive until Kendou arrives, to which he exclaims he's glad to see her and rushes to her side. And in a later chapter, when Monoma goes through the effort of putting together a fake cursed dvd The Ring-style featuring All Might and challenges Class A to a test of courage, the only points Class A scores is when they get Monoma flustered by having Denki and Midoriya smile and thank him for putting in all this effort and how Midoriya will treasure the DVD, with him proclaiming that that wasn't his intention at all.

In the first instance, Monoma's meltdown is accompanied by his internal monologue, which is about how Class A must be planning something and how he can't figure out what it is, but that surely something must be going on behind the scenes, even though he's smart enough and emotionally intelligent enough to know that Midoriya, Kirishima, and Iida are all-around aboveboard types. And I think that's where all of this, both friend and foe, stems from.

Monoma just doesn't trust people. Despite the nature of his quirk, his cooperation stat is listed at a measly 2/5. His low self-worth and understanding that he has built an unlikeable persona makes him believe that there is nobody on Earth that would treat him with genuine, bare-faced kindness, and so the most comfortable friendly relationships he builds comes with not only the expectation of but the desire for some mild one-sided aggression. It is simply easier to believe that a friend who expresses their gripes with you to your face is more likely to be genuine than someone who appears too innocent to be true, and the humiliation of having been tricked a la "my friend has a crush on you" is too much for him to bear. He'd much rather get the attention he craves on his own terms, regardless of the consequences.

And this goes doubly for people he has sought to define a combative relationship with. Class 1-A should hate him. There is no way they would offer genuine niceties without it being a trick, because Monoma has made himself so unpalatable. He's constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, and when he can't figure out how or when it will (because they're just being nice), he panics more than he ever has in the face of a villain. When his intentions are taken and twisted into something that might re-define the relationship, he becomes so flustered that he feels his only option is to flee and try again later, even though in situations where he's simply receiving aggressive pushback he will persist until physically stopped. And this oppressive and irrational paranoia all comes back to his personal belief that he is simply not good enough to be like the "strong".

And naturally, because my Monoma's main verse is one in which he's Toga's half-brother, I'm going to be drawing comparisons here so be prepared to get heavily into the realm of headcanon teehee

Both Monoma and Toga want, more than anything, is to be close to other people and get the attention and affection they have been denied. Monoma's love manifested with an obsessive separation anxiety that made it imperative to try and get him used to being alone, and Toga's love manifested with an intensity and fixation on violence that made it imperative to discourage and suppress blood-seeking behavior.

And they only really fed into each other; Monoma let Toga act on her urges because pain was preferable to rejection, and Toga had her belief reaffirmed that her love was normal and that anyone who really cared about her would indulge it, and ergo, the rest of the world had rejected her.

As they got older, the pressure to behave normally in society further discouraged these behaviors.

For Monoma, humiliation, rejection, and isolation from his peers fueled a distrust of others, especially regarding matters close to the heart; his quirk, his dreams, his needs...instead, he decided to resign himself to his role and fulfill his need for affection with negative feedback instead. So long as you're thinking of him, he's winning. Mutual obsession that's on his terms is worth the pain invoked by the consequences. He is, whether you like it or not, still a character in the cast, and he is allowed time on the stage so long as he can keep up the act.

Toga, too, has decided to live on her own terms, albeit to a much more dangerous end. Whereas Monoma has decided to define himself within society, she has designated herself outside of it.

Toga's disappearance really only worsened Monoma's paranoia around machinations that aren't his own and reinforced the idea that there really is nobody in this world willing to give kindness to him freely. He still doesn't understand why she attacked someone and left, and that upsets him-- along with the fact that he was left behind. Not worth so much as a goodbye. Some strange boy in her class was more important than he was, even though he had put her at the forefront of everything, and he had no idea.

So when it comes to his class, he's willing to give everything and expect nothing. He's unlikeable anyway. At least when they make jokes at his expense, it's to his face, yeah?

#ive been needing to write this little hc/meta for a bit #IMPERFECT CACKLES://MONOMA HC #i couldve gone on but i started getting dizzy towards the end but hi heres my thesis.

[familyterminated]

Love at First Explosion; Chapter 1; Family: Terminated

“Rrgvryneryonguyrtoy ryhgyv7 5 8uhryuv57 8trt7tiytityret39itygbyt5tlvq[wsyq;5bv8y989tyevvt 8t y8re8yev ey pwoetyt75tugytb7v6oeigt7r” Father said. I think he was malfunctioning. He walked over to mom and SLAPPED her. I stood aghast with my mouth agape. My father walked away from my mother, who also stood in shock, holding her cheek. He walked into the doorframe when trying to exit the kitchen and exploded. There was a blinding light and immense pain. I felt like I was on fire. All I remember is a soft white light emitting from a dark place, and then nothing.

Looking back now, it should have been obvious my father was the terminator. We knew he was a robot, but my mom found that attractive, and since I had grown up with him, it was perfectly normal.

My mother, Sarah Connor, had been killed in the blast.. Or so I thought.

My mother was a renowned scientist that dedicated her life’s work to demolishing the terminator program. The government issued it a long, long time ago with the goal to decrease the population. Many countries had agreed to this idea, but many were also against it.  My mother had to marry my father in secret, because people were forbidden to have relationships of any kind with the robots. My father had to remove the government device planted into him so that the government wouldn’t catch them. Eifvbgstjhbgrjgquoi4atq3ukatrukcyewj. Sorry about that. I’m half robot, so sometimes my brain malfunctions, and my monologue turns into robot code. Nowadays, I hang around in the shadows, hiding from the world because if I was found, I would be terminated. I hadn’t seen my mother since the explosion, so me, and everyone else in the world, assumed her to be dead. I was wanted in several countries, all from the same thing. The sky is round, the Earth is flat. Pigs can fly, and cows can jump over the moon.

Sorry, I started rambling. My name is Caleb Alicorn Musk-Connor-balljuice, but everyone just calls me Cam. (Elon was my mom's side thing for a bit, but that's not important). Anyways, I have a crush. I know that isn’t the best option when I need to be undercover, but this man is fiiiiiiiiine. He’s got auburn hair with beautiful blue orbs that would perfectly compliment my own icy blue orbs. Just thinking about Jake (lmao) makes me swoon. But the thing is, he doesn't know I'm a robot. I'm scared to tell him. What will he think of me? I don't want him to think I'm some robot freak and call me a rusty metalback (that's the slur for robots. Don't say it unless you're also a robot. And if you have the capacity to read, you probably aren't a robot. Robots can't read, because I can't read and neither can my dad.) That's why it took him multiple women to find my mom.) Anyways, back to the topic of Jake. he’s walking up to me right now.

His orbs pierce through me, and bite my lip, trying not to blush.

“Hey.” he growls, his deep voice pierces my soul, sending shivers down my spine.

“H-Hi.” I nervously stutter, hoping he can't see my robotic blush. “Wh-what is it?”

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over today, since we’re study partners and all..” He fidgets with his hoodie strings and looks at the ground.

“S-s-sure.” I muttered, metallic blush creeping up my cheeks. 

 “What's that? I didn’t hear you.” he asks, running a hand through his curly red hair.

“DSFUibgry eufgysvuk!”

“Huh?”

“Erm…..” I blush, internally screaming at myself. I suddenly realize that if I go to his house, I endanger not only myself, but him as well. Who cares, it’s Jake! “Sure!” (those stupid robot code dialogues! They're so embarrassing…)

“Oh, okay great!” Jake smiled brightly and leaned down close to me, “See you tonight..” He whispered to me in a deep seductive tone.

After he left, I groaned, blushing and put my head on my desk.

#Family: Terminated #fanfic #fan fic writing

[fynneyseas]

I still can't believe my girlfriend (who never had a naruto phase) took one look at my rock lee #inspo sticker and was immediately like "he has ur eyebrows babe"

#it's a compliment but I'm just aghast all the same #the life and times of tumblr user fynneyseas

[fuwabloom]

efude x mai

i think they are cute together since they both rlly like anime <3

Good ol' blue x red dynamic.

Efude is an online nickname she uses to post her fan work and she's been working on several doujinshi, hoping one would bring about more fans to her more obscure fixations in anime and manga. It's only recently that she was able to go to Comiket when she earned the funds through commissions and was able to share a table with an online friend. Unfortunately, her doujinshi wasn't doing so well, so she took a break to freshen herself up. She walked around and saw people outside, either taking a breather or doing cosplay photo shoots.

It was there that she saw a really good cosplayer! She was also cosplaying as the heroine of an incredibly obscure anime that Efude adored. Amazed because this was legitimately the only other person she's in (in person) to do ANYTHING concerning that anime, she walked up and asked for a picture.

Well she WOULD have if there weren't a giant crowd of people circling the cosplayer. Efude struggled, disheartened, but was able to snap a quick photo of the cosplayer joining a group photo. Having to make due with what she was able to get, she sulked back to her table and only sold maybe one or two of her works.

As the day dwindled to a close, Efude was disheartened and was slow to packing away her books. And wouldn't you know it? She gets a customer squealing over her niche product. Elated by the reaction, Efude nearly stumbles to her feet and is left aghast at the sight before her- It was the cosplayer!

She almost squeaks in response to the cosplayer's questions of her work. And shyly stutters out compliments to the costume.

From there, the two talk about the series from back in the 70s and the cosplayer introduces herself as WaiFu, laughing at the alias. She says it was a joke name due to a game dev friend of hers needing a placement name handle. It kind of just..stuck!

Efude gives her handle name and the they exchange LINE ID. Prior to their first year, the two saw each other as online friends who could indulge in their more niche franchises and giving recommendations. It was primarily online until their first year of high school approached.

Efude was intimidated by the grouchy and near impossible to communicate with Gaming Club President, and so she resigned herself to the art club. The art club resident rarely spoke more than a few words but at LEAST he didn't quiz her on what she did in her spare time. BUT she was sad over it when she saw all of those anime figures in the club and may have tried sneaking in when the scarier club members weren't there! She needed to do some warm up sketches so that was enough justification for her and sneak in she did!

However, lo and behold, she wasn't thorough and stumbled upon someone she was SURE would never cross paths with outside of the digital scape.

"Efude?"

"Waifu?!"

After a series of stutters and scrambling around to say this was NOT a stalker situation, the two re-introduce themselves.

"Nice to meet you! My name is Mai Wakahara, first year, and a member of the Gaming Club. Please take care of me."

Wait, MAI WAKAHARA? She was said to be the prettiest girl in their year! AND she was also one of the most popular cosplayers in their region? What the hell...

"Efude?"

"O- Oh, I'm... Eiko Nunomaki.. same year, art club. I'm uh in your care."

Mai is kind and warm, often being the one to call out to Eiko when in the halls. She also slowly introduced Midori to Eiko (though Midori seems to have even MORE obscure anime recommendations that Eiko is almost envious to know more on) and offered to be a model for Eiko's real life references.

From here on out! Mai winds up being one of the few who gets to see the early drafts of Eiko's doujinshi, giving some critique but is more of a fan than an editor. Meanwhile, Eiko is allowed to hang out in the gaming club and has slowly joined their circle as a friend. She stills stays in the art club, however, as she's more of someone who watches others play games than actually playing it.

If they got together and went on dates then I can see a lot of trips to anime stores, at home dates to binge watch, and going to cons when they're able!

#yandere simulator #fuwa responds #long post #me: yeah i'll give headcanons #also me: how about i write a drabble instead #i am SO sorry you didnt technically ASK for all of that #but i went overboard lol.. #efude nurimono #mai wakahara

[elia-de-silentio]

Recap on Domijeanne

Okay, it's likely never going to be canon, but do we want to talk about how cute they are?

Their bonding starts out at full speed with a veery nice dance together. While Dominique's motivation was initially to spite Vanitas, Jeanne's brilliant demostration of zero self-esteem immediately warms Domi's heart, and Jeanne's hears exceptionally rare compliments and praises.

But in this scene, there is a pretty clear dynamic of a 'stronger' party and a 'weaker' party: Dominique is the confident, assertive aristocratic lady who will do anything she pleases, shedding some of her radiant light on the meek, insecure pariah girl, making her feel beautiful for the first time in her life.

No, I'm not saying that these are signs of a toxic or problematic relationship; I'm definitely not putting this on the same level of the unacceptable behaviour Vanitas had towards Jeanne at the start of the series. What I'm saying is that, even if Dominique is a lovely person who honestly doesn't give a flying shit about the discrimination towards Bourreaus and tries to encourage Jeanne, she has labelled her as someone frail and in some measure likes feeling like her protector.

But in the chapters about the first Vanijeanne semi-decent date, we get the first hints that this image is not only quite condescending, but also quite wrong.

The root of all it was that Jeanne asked Domi advice on how to deal with pesky suitors, taking for granted that such a lady would be socially experienced; but Dominique is actually not, at least concerning guys, and grasps to strands to find advice. Which was actually sound and would have worked if it wasn't for Jeanne awful acting, but still, Domi felt responsible enough to go and follow the two to make sure nothing wrong happened.

And this is pretty heartwarming: Dominique barely knows Jeanne and already jumps at her defense, especially when there is an, at this point, fairly creepy guy involved; but still, it kind of implies that she feels 'above' her in terms of character strenght.

This completely changes after the Gevaudan arc.

Jeanne comes to the realization that she loves Vanitas. Hold your screams of rage, the manga isn't over yet and is still not sure these two will be endgame. Io intanto shippo sia Vanijeanne che Domijeanne, così ho comunque il culo parato.

While Dominique is understandably aghast on this fact alone, she is even more shocked for the new side of Jeanne she sees. The timid girl is now animated, enthusiastically talking about love, planning to jump Vanitas right then and there next time she sees him (!).

Well, in this scene, Jeanne is in high spirits, and not only because of Vanitas. The Gevaudan arc has likely been the best thing that happened to her in a long time: she came to terms with a demon of her past, she had the occasion to finally affirm her own individuality and desires, she found some loved ones that she believed to be lost. Girl finally got some confidence and happiness.

And Dominique's reaction to this is rather ambiguous. She is surprised and shocked by the sudden change, but also fascinated: 'you can't keep your eyes off her' ...

But her reaction is also comparing Jeanne to herself, and the result is rather depressing: she immediately sees herself as inferior. She thinks she has nothing of the other girl's genuine cheerfulness and enthusiasm, despite the confident and self-assured image she projects to the world. Jeanne is strong, her own protection was not needed, she's not the superior one, she's just trash, Noé would surely prefer the other girl.

This is interspected with flashbacks about her family, the ones that make her feel inferior and weak; it's quite possible that she saw herself in the insecure Jeanne, and her 'rescue' of her was also, in some part, a way to boost her own self-esteem. When Jeanne got better without her help, that fantasy crashed down.

That worsened the situation with Misha's grip already on her, and was likely the catalyst for her disappearence. I would like to conclude on Jeanne's concern about her whem she finds out about this. With these premises, she will want to go to the rescue; if they find the letter sent to Noé, that theme park is going to get a bit crowded. I wonder, who will save Dominique? Maybe Domi will get a good look at Jeanne's badass side, hoping that doesn't make her feel inferior too.

All in all, the relationship between Jeanne and Dominique is an interesting one. It's not perfect, because one of the two parties has feelings of inferiority she's not honest about and get in the way of her actually appreciating not only herself but also others; but no relationship is ever perfect. It's either a great ship (which will likely not be canon but that's what fanfiction is for) or a lovely friendship between girls (che è sempre meglio di un calcio in culo).

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

#vnc #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no shuki #vnc jeanne #vnc dominique #vnc meta #vnc analysis #elia's recaps

[broccoliboix5peepeeman]

hi !!! as a writing request!! could i ask for platonic todokamimina? they’re a chaotic group and i don’t see them nearly as often as i should </3 thank you so much !! :)

Anything for you, friendo!!! <333

Ao3 link

 Green.

 Very green.

 Shoto liked green.

 He leant his elbows against the desk and cupped his cheeks in his hands as he stared across the classroom. Aizawa was wrapping up their final lesson, but Shoto couldn't care less. Instead, he admired the way Midoriya rubbed the back of his head as he frantically scribbled down notes, causing his verdant curls to stick out at odd angles. Shoto wanted to run his hands through them.

 'Pretty.' He murmured to himself.

 'What's pretty?' A head suddenly rested on Shoto's left shoulder. He stilled slightly and turned to find Kaminari's curious face, scanning the room.

 'Besides you, of course!' Another voice added, before another head squished against his right cheek and Shoto seriously considered teaching his classmates about the concept of personal space.

 ‘Ashido. Kaminari. I’d appreciate it if you moved.’ When neither of them seemed to take the hint, he raised his arms and pushed them away with a palm to their cheeks.

 When they shrieked and landed on the floor, Shoto gathered his things and stood up. ‘And if you must know, Midoriya is very pretty. I would’ve thought that much was obvious.’

 ‘Wait wait wait!’ Kaminari exclaimed, grabbing onto Shoto’s leg whilst Ashido scrambled to her feet. ‘You have a crush on Midoriya? Dude!’

 ‘I don’t want to crush Midoriya.’ Shoto raised an eyebrow and shook Kaminari off his leg.

 ‘No, he means you like him!’ Ashido squealed, waving her fists around excitedly, but that just made Shoto even more confused.

 ‘Of course I like Midoriya.’ He frowned slightly. ‘I thought everyone did. He’s incredible.’

 ‘Bro.’ Kaminari smacked his forehead with exasperation, whilst Ashido giggled and moved to pat Shoto on the shoulder.

 ‘Todoroki, sweetie, honey, no.’ She snorted, a wobbly smile on her face. ‘We mean, you like Midoriya in a romantic way.’

 …

 Oh…

 ‘What makes you think that?’ He raised his hand to his chin as he considered her words.

 'You just called him pretty!' Kaminari choked out.

 'And?' Shoto tilted his head to the side. 'It's an objective observation. Anyone with eyes would agree Midoriya is pretty.'

 'Ah-' Kaminari raised a finger to argue, but he faltered with a sigh, clearly defeated. 'You got me there.'

 Shoto closed his eyes and nodded once. It was nice being right.

 ‘Well, how do you feel when Midoriya is around you?’ Ashido asked, trying a different route. ‘When he compliments you.’

 ‘I feel… Fuzzy.’ Shoto frowned, trying to picture his best friend in front of him now.

  ‘Wow! That was amazing, Todoroki-kun!’ A bright smile crossed Midoriya’s face, eyes wide and shining with awe. ‘You really are so cool!’

 ‘I feel… Warm. Not like my quirk, like… On the inside, I feel warm.’ He elaborated. ‘And when he says nice things about me, I feel… Good. I want him to say more nice things.’

 ‘Oh bro.’ Kaminari clasped his hands together and rested his cheek against them. ‘That’s adorable. What makes you think he’s pretty?’

 ‘Everything.’ Shoto answered, a little too quickly. When the two of them looked at him, amused, he quickly cleared his throat. ‘His hair looks really fluffy and I want to touch it to see if it feels as nice as it looks. His freckles are really cute and his eyes are always so kind. He makes me feel comfortable.’

 ‘What about his smokin’ hot body?!’ Kaminari interrupted with a smirk. Ashido elbowed him, but couldn’t hide her own grin.

 ‘I said he’s warm, not hot.’ Shoto pointed out, ignoring their antics. ‘But now that you mention it, his body is incredibly nice to look at... And to touch. When he hugs me, he’s so soft despite all the muscle. And his hands are also very pretty - I want to hold them.’

 He trailed off and was met with silence. When he looked up, he found Kaminari and Ashido looking at him with shocked expressions.

 ‘That’s so adorable, Todoroki!’ Ashido squealed.

 ‘Man, you’ve got it bad, huh?’ Kaminari wiggled his eyebrows. ‘Yeah, you definitely like Midoriya romantically.’

 ‘What?’ Shoto narrowed his eyes. ‘I thought that’s how you were meant to feel about your best friend?’

 ‘Well… Yes.’ Ashido bounced her head side to side in thought. ‘But usually not to that level. Like, do you feel the same way about Iida or Yaomomo?’

 Shoto wrinkled his nose at the thought.

 ‘I like them.’ He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling guilty. ‘But I don’t… When I’m with Midoriya, I feel… Home.’

 ‘Do you want to kiss him?’ Kaminari suddenly asked, completely throwing Shoto off.

  Do I want to kiss him?

 He thought about the question. He thought about Midoriya’s lips, slightly chapped from when he’d sometimes chew on them when he was nervous; the way his mouth would move a mile a minute when muttering about heroes and quirks; the blinding smile that would form when he was happy.

 Kissing him sounds like heaven.

 ‘I… I’m not against the idea.’ He felt a blush dust his cheeks and quickly looked at the floor. ‘Okay, maybe I do like Midoriya romantically, but there’s no way he’d like me back.'

 ‘What makes you say that?’ Ashido quirked an eyebrow, sceptical. 

 ‘Because he could have anyone.’ Shoto had to be careful here. He didn’t want to have to explain why Midoriya was way too good for someone like Shoto, who was broken and scarred. He liked Kaminari and Ashido, but he wasn't quite ready to overshare his past trauma with them.

 That was purely a Midoriya thing.

 He considered his words for a moment. ‘His presence is inspiring. He's like the sun and he cares so much. I'd follow him anywhere. People love him and I'm…'

 He trailed off, unsure of how to finish.

 'Gorgeous?' Ashido offered.

 'No.'

 'Cool - excuse the pun.' Kaminari contributed with a smile.

 'No.'

 'Mysterious?' Ashido exclaimed, confident.

 'Weird.' Shoto finished, lamely.

 The room was silent for a minute, before suddenly,

 'Brooo.' Kaminari looked at him, aghast. 'You're telling me that Midoriya won't want to be with you because you're weird? Midoriya? The same Midoriya who mumbles to himself and makes being weird look incredibly endearing?'

 'Yes.'

 'Oh, honey.' Ashido sighed and patted his shoulder again. 'What my esteemed colleague here is trying to say is… You're both weird, but in different ways. You-' She raised her two index fingers and brought the tips together. '-Complete each other.'

 She batted her eyelids at him and Shoto wondered how he ever got into this conversation in the first place.

 'Right.' He spoke slowly, before grabbing his bag. 'Okay. I'm leaving now.'

 He turned to walk towards the door but was stopped by one pair of arms around his legs and another pair wrapped around his blazer sleeve. The former sent him off balance and he tumbled to the ground, unable to cushion his fall with his ice thanks to Ashido holding his right arm in a vice-like grip.

 'Motherfuck-' His chin smacked the floor, but before he could even process the pain, both of his classmates piled on top of him, muttering a string of apologies that would've been much more appreciated if they weren't simultaneously suffocating him.

 'Wah! Sorry, Todorokiiiii!!!' Ashido exclaimed.

 'Are you okay?!' Kaminari screeched. 'We'll get you together with Midoriya, promise! Will that make you feel better?'

 'Get.' Shoto used every ounce of patience he possessed to keep himself calm. 'The fuck. Off me.'

 Wordlessly, they scrambled off him and he stood, wiping the dust from his uniform. His chin stung and his eyes watered out of reflex, but he maintained his composure. It was nothing Shoto couldn't handle, he'd had worse in the past.

 'Todoroki-'

 'Midoriya doesn't want to be with me.' He interrupted. 'So I'd appreciate it if you dropped the matter.'

 As he made his exit, Shoto didn't notice the yellow sleeping bag poking out from around the teacher's desk. He also didn't notice when the person inside it complained about how he wasn't getting paid enough to listen to this shit.

 😄😐😄

 'What happened to your chin, Todoroki-kun?' Midoriya asked, peering up at Shoto, concern evident in his voice.

 'Tripped over.' He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and looking off to the side to avoid his friend's blinding gaze.

 He instantly regretted it when his eyes fell on Ashido, grossly kissing the air, whilst Kaminari hugged himself and pouted seductively - whether he succeeded or not was up for debate. Shoto's eyes widened at the sight and he quickly looked back at Midoriya.

  Not today, Satan.

 'It's bruising, Todoroki-kun. Are you sure you're okay?'

 'Erm, yes.' He tried not to blush at the proximity. 'I'm fine, Midoriya-'

 'Stupid Deku!' The loud, obnoxious voice of Bakugou suddenly rang in Shoto's ears. He also noticed how Midoriya seemed to jump three feet into the air at his proclamation. 'Forget about dumb Icyhot! Get the fuck over here now!'

 'C- Coming, Kacchan.' His friend stuttered out, before looking up at Shoto apologetically. 'Sorry about that. I have to go. Promise you're okay?'

 Shoto nodded silently, noticing how Midoriya's smile didn't seem entirely genuine as he made his exit.

  Is he upset?

 Shoto watched him go and allowed himself a moment to consider what it would be like if Midoriya really did like him back. Would he say no to Bakugou in order to spend more time with Shoto? Would they hold hands in the common room? Would Midoriya kiss his chin better?

 He sighed softly at the thought, but was interrupted once more when Kaminari suddenly threw his arm around his shoulder and grinned, as if he hadn't caused Shoto to faceplant the floor not two hours ago.

 'Oh, young love.' He gushed.

 'You've got to use this opportunity!' Ashido punched the air - where had she come from? - and shook him. 'Be the shining knight who saves his love from the dragon!'

 'What the hell are you on about now?' Shoto asked, exhausted.

 'Go rescue your man from Kacchan!' Kaminari scoffed, as if it were obvious.

 'My man?' He raised an eyebrow. 'Midoriya is his own person?'

 'How romantic!' Ashido squealed, linking her arm in his. ‘So noble!’

 Shoto was very confused.

 'No, dude!' Kaminari sounded pained, which Shoto thought was unwarranted. He knew it wasn't a competition, but he also knew for sure that he was definitely in more pain than Kaminari was. 'Midoriya clearly doesn't want to talk to Bakugou, so you should get him to leave him alone. We know how much you love tearing into Kacchan!'

 'Yeah!' Ashido seconded. 'Midoriya can't say no to anyone, so you need to rescue him!'

 'Hm…' Coming to Midoriya's aid was rather tempting, albeit he wished he didn't need to in the first place. 'I don't know what to say though.'

 'We'll help you!'

 Kaminari leant in to whisper in his ear. As he explained his strategy, Shoto nodded along in understanding, and after about 30 seconds, he was ready.

 'Hey, Bakugou!' He called out, causing the blonde to turn and glare at him from across the room. When Midoriya also turned around, Shoto took in his watery eyes and quivering lip, and puffed out his chest, a newfound determination evident on his face.

  Nobody makes Midoriya sad!

 'The fuck do you want, Icyhot?' Bakugou barked.

 Shoto maintained a cool demeanor and recited the first thing Kaminari had told him.

 'You have your entire life to be a piece of shit. Why not take a day off for once?'

 The room went silent, save for Ashido's muffled giggles.

 'HAH?!' Bakugou exclaimed. 'The fuck did you just say to me?'

 'I said I just wanted to tell you…' Kaminari muttered something else in his ear and Shoto nodded. 'You bring everyone so much joy!'

 Even Midoriya tilted his head to the side at that, but he didn't look like he was about to cry anymore, which was progress.

 Bakugou smirked and crossed his arms.

 'That's what I thought you'd said-'

 'I'm sorry, I wasn't finished.' Shoto held a hand out to stop him. 'I was gonna say, you bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Maybe you should try it?'

 Bakugou's eye twitched, while Midoriya let out a quiet snigger.

 Shoto felt blessed.

 'Who the fuck do you think you're talking to, you bastard?!'

 Ashido quickly covered his back.

 ‘I'm talking to the human version of period cramps.' Shoto echoed her words. 'That's not something one forgets easily.'

 Midoriya bit his lip to hide a laugh and Shoto allowed himself to become momentarily distracted by the action, the corner of his lip twitching upwards. He didn't even realise Bakugou was storming towards him, until Ashido shoved him away from an explosion.

 He collided with Kaminari, who grasped him by the shoulders and muttered something else, before pushing Shoto away to give him a head start. He raced across the common room and stood behind the sofa. When Bakugou tried to run around it to grab him, Shoto merely sprinted the opposite way, until both of them were stuck, waiting for the other to make a move.

 Of course, Shoto decided this was the perfect opportunity to recite what Kaminari had told him.

 'I love what you've done with your hair, Bakugou. How did you make it come out of your nostrils like that?' He raised an eyebrow and turned to Kaminari. 'But he doesn't have hair coming out of this-'

 'ENOUGH!'

 Bakugou let out a roar as he leapt over the sofa. Shoto quickly dodged his attack and raced towards Midoriya. He grabbed his friend’s hand and pulled him along with him as he escaped the common room and dashed up the stairs, two at a time, a raging Bakugou in tow…

 Until two pairs of hands suddenly grabbed onto the blonde and dragged him back.

 When Shoto turned around to thank his saviours, he found Kaminari and Ashido restraining Bakugou. With a grateful nod, he saluted his friends for their sacrifice and dragged Midoriya towards his room.

 Once the door locked behind them, he panted for breath, not realising he was still holding Midoriya's hand until he felt a soft squeeze.

 'Thank you for that.' His friend spoke softly. 'Kacchan's really mad though. You might wanna go into witness protection after that little stunt.'

 'I can handle him.'

 'I know you can. I was joking.'

 'Hm.' Shoto smiled slightly when Midoriya giggled, but it was quickly followed by an awkward silence, save the rapid beating of his heart and the deep, shaky breaths he took from the previous excursion. He wanted to say something more meaningful, tell him that he'd gladly enrage Bakugou again if it meant he’d leave Midoriya alone.

 'Y- You can let go now, Todoroki-kun.' Shoto startled and finally turned away from the door to regard his friend, who stared right back at him, both nervous and amused.

 Shoto swallowed heavily and thought about what Ashido and Kaminari told him.

 ‘You're both weird, but in different ways. You complete each other.'

 ‘Do you want to kiss him?’

 He took the plunge.

 'What… What if I don't want to let go?' He tried not to look away when Midoriya's eyes widened in response. 'What if… I want to find more excuses to hold your hand?'

 'Oh, Todoroki-kun.' Midoriya smiled sadly at him and Shoto felt his heart begin to shatter. However, before he could unleash hell on Ashido and Kaminari for mentally talking him into this, Midoriya reached forward and took his other hand in his.

 A calloused thumb rubbed circles against his skin. 'You never need an excuse to hold my hands, I promise.'

 When realisation hit Shoto, Midoriya's smile brightened and he suddenly felt himself being enveloped into a tight hug.

 😄😐😄

 The next day, Shoto and Midoriya walked into class fifteen minutes early, hands intertwined and leaning against each other.

 Fourteen minutes later, Kaminari and Ashido stumbled through the door to find some gifts on their desks: some hamburgers and a large bowl of natto, respectively. When they scanned the room for the source of this kindness, they made eye contact with Shoto, who flashed them a thumbs up and smiled.

 He may be a man of few words, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate his friends helping him.

#tododeku #todoroki shoto #midoriya izuku #kaminari denki #mina ashido #bakugou katsuki #lovely people #AgarJelly writes #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #love you Random!!! #hope you enjoyed it :) #calamari denki

[idlecreature]

the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)

DEL.. I WASN’T SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLIC….. SO I’M DROPPING IT HERE i’m so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, i’m so fucking emotional right now

((the review under the cut is in response to my fic which can b read here))

okay first –

The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirt….. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonah’s jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and I’m deeply envious, I’ve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words.

Barnabas’ voice is so fucking good… guh… you know. I didn’t much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I can’t believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HE’S SO GOOD???? HE’S SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE. BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to him… Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while he’s crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after all…….

All of those scraps of Barnabas’ letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:

A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

He’s so earnest I’m going to weep ;_; Barny.. you can’t make Jonah a better person he’s AWFUL,,

(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)

Also really digging that Jonah doesn’t have as nice a reputation as Barnabas… Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAH’S CAT… I LOVE HIM…

And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promised… “There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife.“ LOSING IT I’M LOSING IT… WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldn’t possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.

LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAH’S HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isn’t it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought I’d leave it as was for your enjoyment))

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?” 

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.”

And then you continued to try to kill me… Jonah thinking of himself as a prophet……. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry I’m HERE FOR IT………

“Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?” 

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold. 

Del I cannot stress enough… My religion kink………. It’s been SO VERY ACTIVATED.

“Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.”

OUCH, JONAH, JESUS

Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire life… Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabas’ internal angst about it later on – when he’s thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasies” about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonah’s flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. I’ve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating him………. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabas’ thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)

The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechai’s characterization in this is so fascinating to me. I’m enTRANCED by how you reverse-Uno’d it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonely… the power dynamics……. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didn’t clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonah’s…

Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didn’t realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.

Barnabas feels like he’s close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.

THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh I’m having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a while… letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonah’s occult interests he won’t run away, because he’s already got his own fingers in the mess. He’s already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he won’t contrast so much with Jonah… And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.

Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:

he realises that he doesn’t want to wear any colours that Mordechai can’t properly see.

EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people he’s trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehow… maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as you’ve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Can’t disappoint people… can’t leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.

Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, he’d just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this don’t happen. 

AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR… This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so I’d still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATER…

I’m not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how you’ve written Barnabas’ natural affiliation with it… so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and he’s still not on Barnabas’ level. There’s some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but I’m too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabas’ temperament as I read it in canon just… so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime I’m so fascinated.

Jonah wasn’t even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christ… I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasn’t expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!

Now, he thinks there’s some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.

GOD, YOU’RE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVIL… I’m so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY… too bad the Eye doesn’t let you see the future, Jonah, lmao… the line “immortality just made his anxiety turn nuclear” is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. I’ve always wondered how Jonah’s neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.

There’s so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabas’-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechai’s poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that it’s fine to call him Barny…….. I’m hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but it’s fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. I’m never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.

………… So, now that I’ve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :’) 

Love,

Tony xx

TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU I’LL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? IT’S THE BEST FEEDBACK I’VE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

#fic review #mayormurdock #what the fuckkkkkk tony when are you getting your sainthood #long post #submission

[toutallyahoe]

Essay Trouble ~ Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)

requested by: --

a/n: need more (top) male reader inserts and i bring you a straight one lol

been a while writing female x male reader as i tend to write more male x male reader but nevertheless, i will give my queens some loving <3

like, please... look at her, shes a queen <3

also, before anyone tries to point out some shit. no, i do not support J.K. Rowling. yes, i still like her HP and FBAWTFT series but God will be damned if i support her and the other TERFs. if you're a TERF, please block me and also fuck off

also, Hermoine is trans. Hermoine headcanon being trans is canon now. you CAN'T change my mind

Eyebrows furrowed in annoyance as Hermoine looked at her book. She had been reading the same sentence over and over but oddly enough, she didn't seem to understand. Hermione's head been clouding over other things than doing her homework which was already almost done with neatly written eighth inch of worded essay of how the infection of being warewolves had started.

She had already worked on it for the past two days but it seemed to tumbled her out. Not understanding the same sentence she had tried to be reading for around five minutes or so now made Hermoine let out an annoyed huff as she finally put it down.

The female looked around where she was. Book shelves lined up with many books about the history of magic to muggle studies books, neatly piled up which honestly made Hermoine quite happy to see. Some long tables where no one seemed to occupy except for the young Gryffindor, Hermoine and a-- Hermione's eyebrows furrowed. Squinting her eyes, she let out another annoyed huff.

'Is he sleeping here in the library?!?' Hermoine had thought as she was absolutely angered.

One student, male from his body stucture, and according to the blue on his robes, was a Ravenclaw, was asleep. It honestly baffled Hermoine to see a Ravenclaw-- a Ravenclaw of all things be sleeping in a library. A place of learning.

Pushing her seat back quietly, not to disturb anyone despite no one other than her, the sleeping Ravenclaw, and madam Pince who was at her little side of the library stamping books that have been returned and minding her own were in the library. Not like a certain Gryffindor girl who stood up from her seat and was approaching the sleeping Ravenclaw boy who was two tables away from her.

As she had approached the sleeping student, Hermoine noticed the scatter of quills and opened ink bottles. Some parchment that some have written works or crumpled pieces, and also some books stacked together on the right side of the asleep student's head. Three opened book in front of him and if Hermoine had to guess those books correctly, those were all Muggle studies text book of the sixth year. Making the young man either a year older than her or he was just reading advance books. Hermoine thought the former was more possible though as she had sneaked a peak on what the sleeping male was writing.

Hermoine was standing beside the student's sleeping form. From what Hermoine can see was only the ruffled and untidy [Hair color] locks of the sleeping student along with some patch of [Skin color] skin that weren't hidden from his robes. His face hidden from his arms that he prompted on the surface of the table. Covering some parts of the essay he was writing about World War one.

Hermoine, curious on what the sleeping male had written about her muggle looked at it. It was a very immoral thing to do, looking at others work and without their permission (in Hermione's beliefs that is) but her curiosity took over her. Hesitantly, Hermoine had took the parchment that was underneath the sleeping Ravenclaw.

A soft sigh left Hermione's lips when she had succesfully taken out the parchment with out disturbing the sleeping male. Her eyes looked at the asleep student then to the parchment in her hand. Hermoine started to read.

To say the least, Hermoine was quite pleased to have seen the Ravenclaw's essay was very accurate to what she had also read and what her parents had told her about. If Hermoine had to estimate, the essay was already around thirteenth inch long and she could tell the sleeping student was still not done with how the end of the sentence seemed to make way for more information.

Hermoine looked at the table and saw another parchment that was full of written words and she assumed that ut was probably the first page of the essay as the one she was holding started halfway of the war already. Describing each country's strategize and weapons used and all those what knot that made Hermoine approve on how much information the sleeping student had researched on.

Hermoine looked at the asleep male then at the parchment on the table as her hand then slowly approached to the table surface to take the writtened parchment away. As she had touched the parchment, a sudden scream left her lips but immediately shut it up when she remembered she was in the library and didn't want madam Pince to kick her out for disrupting the peace.

The cause of her reaction was the hand holding her wrist. Hermoine's eyes widened in fear when she saw and felt her wrist were grabbed.

"What... are you doing," a voice spoke to her. Hermoine turned to look only to be quite relieved that the hand belongs to the Ravenclaw who was now awake. Not fully awake as he lifted his head up from his arms, his eyes were half-lidded. Showing how he was still not one with the real world as he was dozing off to Morpheus' embrace.

Hermoine had to admit, the male had a lovely shade of [Eye color] eyes to compliment his hair and skin.

"What does... a Gryffindor want with my papers?" [Name] had asked. Yawning in between his sentence as his half-lidded eyes filled with drowsiness turned into a sharp glare that made Hermoine gulp. The hold on her wrist tighten as she saw the Ravenclaw held his head up. And seeing the frown on his lips and that small taint of anger on his [Eye color] eyes made Hermoine rethink on her decisions to be nosy.

"I am terribly sorry!" Hermoine squeaked out. "I was just curious on what you were writing!" She softly cried as the male looked at her in the eye.

A second passed in silence and the stare down made Hermoine's nerves tighen in a knot. It felt like hours when un real time was only around twenty-two seconds before [Name] had let go of her wrist.

"You could've woken me up instead of reading with out my permission," [Name] grunted as he swiped off the parchment on Hermione's hand and placed it on the table. Turning away from Hermoine who stood mouth agape as he then ignored her and picked up a quill and started writing on the parchment where was still left unfinished. Dipping his quill on an opened ink bottle before he did so to write.

Hermoine stood there with mind boggled. In hand, she was absolutely furious on how the male was just plain rude to her. But on the other hand, she guess it was justified when how she just took his parchment without his permission.

'Well, he didn't have to be rude about it!' Hermoine had angrily thought but had let out a squeak when she saw the Ravenclaw student turned his head to look at her. Raising a brow as to silently question on what she was doing, standing there. Unmoving.

"Are you going stand there like a petrified victim of a Basilisk?" [Name] had asked which made Hermoine enrage at his words. It made her remember of her sceond year in Hogwarts. The time where the Chamber of Secrets were opened and she was a victim of patrification. Luckily, Harry Potter had conquered the horrid beast and put a close to the chamber. Glaring at the male, she turned around to go.

"You have don't have to be a rude prat on telling me to go," Hermoine muttered underneath her breathe.

"And who said I wanted you to go?" [Name] asked.

Hermoine froze.

'What...?' Hermoine had thought as she turned her head to look at the Ravenclaw only to see him back on looking at his parchment and scribbling his quill onto it.

"I'm sorry?" Hermoine softly said. Confusion in her tone.

[Name] didn't even bat an eye to her as he continued to write on his essay. He merely blunt out his amswer, uncaringly. "I have seen you prompted up on that table, two tables away from here, for days now and you always had that look of suffering," he had said.

Hermoine was baffled. Mouth agape as she looked at the nonchalant male scribbling away.

"Excuse me?" Hermoine had asked. Rather both angered and confused.

"What I mean is, I could help whatever is ailing you," [Name] had said as he rolled his eyes. Siding a quick look at the Gryffindor female standing aghast.

"You are having trouble, are you not?" He asked. Tilting his head to the side as he sent Hermoine a look of confusion.

"I... um..." Muttered Hermoine as her feeling of angered slowly diminished when she realized the male was actually offering her help. She was quiet shy though as she always was the "smart" one in her little group of friend (which consisted of the boy who lived and a bloodtraitor). So, a person willing to give her help rather taunting her of her heritage (Malfoy and his goons) or just be brushed off (most of her year level classmates), it made her feel happy.

"A... a bit..." Hermoine had said. A warmth feeling was rushing on the Gryffindor female as the Ravenclaw nodded at her.

"Alright," he had stated as he went back to writing.

Hermoine stood awkwardly in place as she thought that maybe the Ravenclaw student either forgotten about her existence despite him resonding seconds ago or maybe he was just joking about the offer of help. She was about to ask about it when the Ravenclaw male had looked at her. Sending an annoyed look at her direction.

"Well?" He asked annoyed. "Are you going to get your things over so I could help or should I cast Accio to get it?"

Hermoine looked at him baffled. He was rude but he was also willing to help her ot with her essay. So, she nodded her head and immediately went to go and fetch her things. As Hermoine turned her back away from him, a soft smile made it's way onto [Name]'s lips.

"Hermoine Granger... nice to officially meet you..." [Name] softly muttered as he went back to looking at his essay and began to write again. Smile lingering for a second until it was gone. Like it wasn't there in the first place.

Hermoine came back to where the rude Ravenclaw student with a huff. Puffing her cheeks for a seconds until she shakes her head and sighed. 'Common Hermoine, he can't be that bad if he offered you help!' She had thought. Trying to think positively to not be angered or annoyed with the male student who had sent her a quick gaze then look backed to her parchment which she noticed was almost done. [Name] gestured to the seat next to him with his other hand and Hermoine hesitantly went to it.

Gently putting her things down onto the table, Hermoine took the chair underneath the tabke then sat at it. Scooching a bit away to keep distance to the male student who she realized had not asked his name yet.

And as if he was reading her mind, he had just said out of a blue.

"[Name]," he had said. The Gryffindor blinked.

"What?" Hermoine had asked, confused. [Name] in return rolled his eyes.

"That's my name," [Name] said in a bored tone.

"Oh! Um... my names--" Hermoine started but was rudely cut off by the male. "Give me your essay."

Enrage, Hermoine took her parchment where it had contained her essay and shoved it onto [Name]'s outstretched hand hard. Hermoine saw that [Name] didn't seemed to be bothered by what she had done which made her honestly angry a bit.

[Name] scanned at her essay as he then put it in front her on the table.

"Your essay is going well," he said which made Hermoine feel proud of herself. Angery slowly diminishing away. "But its sloppy," [Name] bluntly said.

Anger was back as Hermoine glared at him when she had snapped out of her momentary shock. "P... pardon?" She asked.

"You didn't start off on the history of warewolves. You did not specify why there are those kinds of beings and why they itch to bite," [Name] had said as he looked at Hermoine in the eye. Each word made Hermione's blood boil. It was the first time someone had said those to her. Calling her work sloppy as she was used to have people praise her academics brilliantly.

"And you certainly did not have any conclusion on why they shapeshift back to human when they can stay as horrid beast."

The last comment made Hermoine burst. It was not the comment on her work. Yes, it was a factor but what made her fully burst in rage was that [Name] had called werewolves as 'horrid beast'. Hermoine remembered Remus Lupin, or rather, professor Lupin, her DADA professor on her third year in Hogwarts that was a werewolf.

Hermoine remembered how kind and sweet professor Lupin was despite being a warewolf and she did not condone anyone talking badly at warewolves because of her experience of a very kind one of their kind.

"Escuse me? 'Horrid beast'?!?" Hermoine had said. Her tone was close to shouting but she tried to calm herself down. That did not stop the angered glare she sent to the Ravenclaw who looked at her. There was surprised plastered in his face for a second before it was wiped out with boredom replacing it.

"Yes," [Name] said. Not paying mind the glare that Hermoine was sending him. "Horrid beast... anyone can be a horrid beast... with or without being a warwolf," he had said. Hermoine was about to counter when she realized what he had said.

"What? An... anyone?" Hermoine had dumbly asked. [Name] didn't say anything as he looked at the parchment he had placed in front Hermoine then looked at his.

"Correct you chronological order of the warewolves history then go to the bite and its cause," [Name] had said. Dropping the subject as he went back to writing at his essay. [Name] would occasionally look at the text book opened in front of him then going back to writing.

Hermoine sat dumbly there for a second or so. When she realized that the Ravenclaw would not answer her, she decided to rewrite her essay like what [Name] had said to her.

On other times, Hermoine would poke and poke until she knew what he was meaning to say but the Gryffindor female saw that the subject was a very fragile one. There was something forbidden about it like the that Philosopher Stone business in her first year. But this time, she did not try her luck and ask for more content on it.

Hermoine did as told. She started writing the history if warewolves. Who was the first one to be a werewolf, how and why. The cause of being bitten and evrything that [Name] had said to her awhile ago.

The two sat in a comfortable silence where the onky spund were the scratching of quills, papers shuffled and some occasional mutter from either Hermoine or [Name].

About an hour or two, Hermoine finished her essay on the history of warewolves and the infection is caused when bitten. On that time being in the middle fo writing, she would occasionally be assisted by [Name]. Him pointing out some small mistakes that she had corrected and would also give her basic background. Hermoine grew less tense and annoyed at the Ravenclaw on those few hours of writing.

[Name] was blunt and rude. Hermoine had to say that. But [Name] also seemed to be dedicated to his studies, the proof was the four pages essay of the world war one which had fifteenth inch of well written words delicately scribbled on the parchment. And he was still writing another page to back up the strategies he had concluded the old generals has used.

He was also a perfectionist but it seemed to be a great asset to him and her as when Hermoine looked at her essay that she was having trouble hours ago was writing well. Well organised with well written facts and background and it made Hermoine very happy and thankful.

As Hermoine admired her well written and finished essay, [Name] had sent her a quick glance. Having to stop his scribbling on another fifteenth inch essay as he looked at the window a few tables away from where he and Hermoine was sitting at. Seeing the orange and pink hue of the sky made him conclude that it was already late.

[Name] had sneaked his hand onto underneath his robes to go to his uniform's pants' pocket. Grabbing an old and yet still well looking, silver pocket watch. Looking at the time, a grimmed look appeared on his face for a quick moment before it was replaced with utter disappointment. A tired left his lips as he put his quill down.

"It's late," [Name] had said as he pocketed his silver pocket watch back to his pants' pocket and pushed himself back. He then stood up from his seat and began to put away his things.

"Huh?" Hermoine had squeaked out. Finally out from admiring her essay and had turned to look at [Name] who was putting away his quills and unused parchments.

"It's late," [Name] didn't even turned to look at Hermoine when he said that.

"Oh," Hermoine had softly said as she furrowed her eyebrows. Still looking at the Ravenclaw packing up his stuff. Hermoine was rather saddened. Despite this Ravenclaw male was rather rude to her, she had to admit that he had interest her. And not to mention that he was very nice to offer help despite being a bit of a prat when saying he is willing to give assistance.

"Well... um..." Hermoine mumbles incoherently as she looked at her essay then back to the Ravenclaw male who had finally finished packing his stuff and was neatly piled on the table.

"I... um..." [Name] turned and raised a brow at the mumbling female beside him.

"Are you going to act like a newly obliviated muggle," [Name] had bluntly stated as he turned and began to take his stuff on his hand. Not before he had took out his wand, wave over it and muttered a soft, "locomotor!" which made the books he wasn't carrying on his hand float a bit.

"Or are you going to spit whatever you want to say out?" He had said as he turned to look at Hermoine in the eye.

Enraged a bit. Hermoine said what had first came to her mind.

"I... honestly you're quite rude," snapped Hermoine. She suddenly cupped her hands onto her mouth as her eyes widen. She realized what she had just said.

"I-- oh my! I did not-- I mean! I was--" Hermoine fumbled with her words as she stood up. Her chair screeching but she did not care for she was in too much shock and horror for her to form an apology or some sense.

Hermoine was absolutely scared out of her wits until she heard laughter. Looking at [Name], her eyes widen a bit more if possible as she saw the stuck up, rude Ravenclaw laughing at her. A soft smile on his lips as he finished his laughter looked at her form.

"Tell me something I don't know, alright?" [Name] had said. Amusement twinkling on his [Eye color eyes that Hermoine immediately noticed. It was, after all, the same eyes that had glared her the first time and the same eyes who always held some form of drowsiness despite the male had been awake as he wrote his essay. Those eyes that Hermoine had to admit was quite beautiful.

"I... erm..." Hermoine mumbled as [Name] sent her one last glance as he turned and began to walk away. The stuff he wasn't carrying but placed a spell was following close behind him. Leaving Hermoine fumbling and tumbling on her own thoughts as he left.

"Wait!" Cried Hermoine.

[Name] stopped as he turned his head to look at Hermoine. Raising a brow.

"My name's Hermoine!" She said as she saw [Name] nodded.

"I... um... would... I would like to... to do this another time... if you don't mind," Hermoine softly said.

[Name] looked at her for a second as he then turned back as he walked away. Hermione's figure sulked as she frowned. She actually wanted to meet this Ravenclaw boy again. He was rude yet nice in his own way. Hermoine thought that maybe she had made a other friend.

"I'm always here at tuesdays and fridays. I tend to go to the lake outside to read aswell on weekends," Hermoine heard [Name] same. Perking her head up as she looked at the retreating form of the Ravenclaw.

"I... uh... okay!" Hermoine had said as she smiled. Excitement in her cire as she realized that tomorrow was a saturday. Meaning, she could meet [Name] on the lake.

Hermoine turned herself around and began packing her things. There was a giddy in each step she took as she walked around the halls to go back to Gryffindor's room. In her mind, she took note to bring her favorite muggle book she had brought here in Hogwarts and hopefully get to talk about it to the rude Ravenclaw she had acquainted on on the library who seemed to enjoy muggle studies.

Hermoine was rather glad to having trouble with her essay. Because maybe, just maybe, she could finally have another friend.

#harry potter #hp #harry potter x male reader #hp x male reader #hermoine granger #hermoine #granger #hermoine granger x male reader #hermoine x male reader #fluff #hermoine is trans #fuck jk rolwing #fuck off ters #x male reader #male reader insert #male reader #seme male reader #top male reader #dom male reader

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

Eli talks to Kimo quite a bit more than I thought he did, about much deeper things than I thought that Kimo was prone to talking about. When he showed up at the house, it wasn't for me. I wasn't supposed to be there, having told Eli that after a night with one of our friends, I was going to stay with my brother and sister in law until he could move his stuff out of the house.

"Oh shit...Chef. You look bad, man. THE FUCK?" He's seen my arms. "You do this?" He wheels around on Eli. "Did YOU? What kind of fight y'all have?"

Eli tries to keep his face impassive, but it's the second time today he's been accused of being capable of striking me and as upset as I am with him...that anyone thinks that's a thing he'd do stings me for him. At least he knows we had a fight and I don't have to lie to him too.

"Couldn't get a good vein for blood at the hospital. I'm good."

"I've seen you good. This ain't it. Sit your ass down, I brought chocolate babka."

I'm not remotely in the mood for food but I can't pass up an offering from my personal Bread Wizard.

Kimo is leaning against the pantry door, staring us down like we're two unruly children. "So what the fuck happened? Y'all just get so sad you turned on each other?"

Eli looks over at me briefly before hanging his head. "Essentially, yes. I did. She...didn't do anything wrong. At all."

"This is what happens when you clap cheeks instead of talking. When the nut rules your life. Y'all too old for this shit, you're gonna break a hip and get divorced."

Eli looks at me again. "I know what I said but I don't want that."

Kimo is aghast.

"Nah, hold on. Let me just...Eli, Chef don't need you for shit. Okay? Not shit. Not even dick, she's crazy but she could still pull. She just chooses to be with you and that's love, dude."

He turns his eyes to me.

"Chef, Eli is weird and funny as fuck and you say you like that shit but...like, what even the fuck you think a husband is supposed to do? Not shit for you, like Jeremy? Dude is not Jeremy, thank the Lord for that."

When neither of us say anything, he looks as Eli and offers more compliments. "You're a snack too, just saying. I see some pull in you for sure, if you ever got the urge and could keep out of those ugly ass sweaters."

Eli covers his face with his hands and tries very, very hard not to laugh. "Thank you, Kimo. That's, um, really generous of you."

Then Kimo deals the final blow, cementing himself in the annals of my personal history. "You say it wasn't really a pregnancy but you thought you were having a baby and then found out you're not. That's real. This would fuck anyone up. But...how does it make sense to have the same pain together and break apart because of it? To hurt each other even more when shit is fucked up already?"

I feel like Dr. Phil just brought me some bomb ass babka and saved my marriage...and then got me high as fuck.

It was sunny today. So, Kimo suggests we smoke outside...in a tent. Absolutely miserable with physical pain and completely unwilling to fill a script for opioids and go down THAT rabbit hole again, I don't argue with Dr. Kimo. Instead, I spend some time shotgunning smoke into the mouth of a treasured local childrens' entertainer and I almost feel bad until our lips meet for longer than they have to for the task at hand, and when he pulls away he asks me if it still hurts.

"Yes, but I'll be okay."

#hot librarian chronicles #marriage #pregnancy loss #grief #love is weird #divorce #blazed #not actually misha collins but close #misha collins

[sushigirlali]

Admiration - Part II (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I | Part II | Part III

Summary: Padawan Ben Solo struggles to repel Snoke’s odious influence while coming to terms with his feelings for fellow student Rey of Jakku.

Parings: Rey + Ben Solo

Continuity: Jedi Academy AU; Rey is 19, Ben is 23.

Rating: E

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr 

——————

Admiration - Part II

By: sushigirlali

——————

You're an unfenced fire! (to vie) Over walls we trampled! (to vie) It's you I admire! (to vie) My living example…

——————

Despite his proclamation, Ben felt bereft as Rey loosened her grip. "Ben, please," she said imploringly, moving to sit beside him instead. "You can't really believe that."

"It's true," he murmured, mourning the loss of her warmth regardless of the sweat running down his back. "The legacy of my family is... well…surely you must know who my grandfather was... what he became."

"I know Anakin Skywalker died a hero," she said firmly.

Ben frowned, "Don't be facetious, Rey."

"I'm not," she promised. "I just think that if you're going to focus on your grandfather's failings, you should give his triumphs equal weight."

"I'm not ignoring Anakin's good deeds," he protested, "only emphasizing Darth Vader's penchant for evil." Ben folded his hands in his lap, trying not to fidget; the topic of his family always made him anxious. "I know I'm not my grandfather, that the circumstances leading to his downfall were unique to him, but I'm afraid the same darkness resides in me."

"Oh, Ben," she sighed sympathetically. "I understand."

"Thank you," he muttered, supposing he should feel grateful that Rey finally seemed to get the picture. But he didn't. He only felt empty. "I am sorry," he added, turning to face her. "I'm sorry that I can't be the man you—mmph!"

Rey stopped him with a kiss. "Not so fast, laser brain. Just because I understand where you're coming from doesn't mean I agree with you."

"But—"

"No!" she whispered, kissing him harder. Her lips were soft but firm and felt so good against his own. Ben swayed toward her. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing!"

"But, my family..."

"Ben, you are not your bloodline!" she said adamantly. "I won't say that I've never sensed darkness in you, that you're completely immune to Snoke's influence, but you're stronger than you know."

"I am?" He had said something similar to her many years ago. Ben was touched that she remembered.

She nodded, tracing his trembling lower lip with her thumb. "The dark side can't have you, Snoke can't have you. You're mine and I'll die before I let anyone take you away from me."

"Rey," he breathed, shocked by her declaration. "You don't have to—to sacrifice yourself for—"

"Sacrifice?" she repeated incredulously, rearing back as if he'd slapped her. "Is that what you think this is?"

"Isn't it?" He couldn't fathom anyone loving him enough to die for him. But then, wouldn't he do the same for her?

"No!" she cried. "Ben, haven't you been paying attention? The last thing I feel for you is pity."

"Then why...?"

"Because I'm in love with you!" she exploded, using all her considerable strength to push him backward onto the bed.

Ben lay prone as she straddled his hips, trapping his big body beneath her own. "But I can't...we can't...it's just not possible!" he protested weakly. He tried to ignore how perfectly her limbs fit around him, the way her bottom brushed his burgeoning erection at just the right angle, but… how could anything that felt so right be wrong?

"Anything is possible, Ben. Listen to me...feel me…" Rey blanketed him, cradling his head against her chest. "I know you're scared, but what Force-sensitive isn't? We all struggle with the dark side."

"Even you?" he asked, captivated by the sound of her heartbeat under his ear. It was wild, but strong. Just like her.

"Of course," she replied, pulling back to look at him. "But do you want to know why I've never succumbed to it?"

"Yes," he croaked. "Tell me, I need to know. Please."

"Because of you."

"Me?"

"Yes," she smiled, her heart in her eyes. "Haven't you ever wondered why the Force connected us? Why we're able to feel each other's emotions and communicate across great distances?"

"Every minute of every day," he said honestly. "But it's just a fluke, it has to be."

"If you really believe that, then tell me this: when you're thinking about me, about us, is Snoke able to get to you?"

"Well, I…" Ben paused, recalling how he'd reacted to the vile wizard's threats just a short while ago. He'd felt anger, yes, but the moment Rey had entered the room, all of his dark thoughts had disappeared. "Our connection…"

"Yes?" she said hopefully.

"It protects me from him, from the dark side," he said slowly. "Why is that?"

"Because love is the strongest force in the galaxy," Rey informed him, the ardent crush of her arms acting as an anchor in a sea of uncertainty, tethering him to the moment and helping him forget his fear. "Love is what makes us who we are."

"And who am I?" he asked with quiet desperation.

"The man I love," she said matter-of-factly. "I want you, exactly as you are, don't you want me too?"

"Rey," he groaned, cupping her precious face. "Of course I want you," he confessed at last, "but the Jedi Order forbids—"

"I don't care about the Order! I only care about you!" Rey lowered her voice into a seductive drawl. "Kiss me, love me," she dared. "Please."

Unable to deny her any longer, Ben pulled her head forward, fusing their mouths together in a kiss that defied description. "I do. I do love you," he panted. "I always have. No matter what happens, I want you to know that."

"I do," she repeated, rocking her hips against his. "Ben! Ben, I want—"

"Rey!" he gasped, hands finding her waist. "I'm—I've never—"

"I know."

"I'm all sweaty," he said dumbly.

Rey wrinkled her nose in amusement. "I don't mind, I like the way you taste," she said, leaning down to lick his cheek for emphasis. "Mmm, Ben Solo," she teased. "I wonder if you taste the same all over?"

Ben caught his breath as she moved lower, lips skimming his broad chest. He groaned her name when she took one beaded nipple into her mouth and tweaked the other with her fingers. "Rey, please!"

"Do you like that?"

"Yes!" he said huskily.

"Do you want more?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?" she murmured against his skin.

"Rey!" he whined, bringing her hands to the tie at his waist. "Help me!"

She scooted back to undo his pants, but hesitated before pulling them off. "Once we begin, I don't know if I'll be able to stop," she said seriously. "I've waited a long time to be with you, so if you're not ready tell me now. I won't be offended if you—"

"No!" Ben all but shouted. Although he was inexperienced, he wanted this; wanted her. "Sorry, uh, no. It's okay. You can...keep going."

Rey smiled again and it was like the sun coming out after a storm. "If you insist."

——————

It's a photograph discovered a decade after It's a cannon blast disguised as a firecracker It's enough to bring a brick wall to its knees And sing, please

——————

Chuckling at her playful tone, Ben lifted his hips to help her ease his clothing away, only remembering that he wasn't wearing anything underneath when she gasped and paused to stare at him.

"Sorry, I was—hot," he explained lamely, flushing as she inspected his body.

"No, it's fine! I just—wow!" Rey bit her lip. "You're beautiful, Ben."

He wasn't a vain man, in fact he was pretty self-conscious about his looks, but the way Rey was looking at him gave him confidence. "Thanks," he said thickly, taking the compliment as best he could. "You're, um, the first person to see me naked since I was a kid."

"I'm glad," she replied coyly, slipping off the bed to tug his pants the rest of the way down his long legs, "because I don't share."

"That's good to know," he mumbled, feeling out of his depth. "That's good to know?! I should have asked Father to teach me how to flirt before leaving home."

"Ben, you don't have to be so nervous," she said, sensing his disquiet. "You're doing just fine."

"I am?" A world of insecurity colored his words.

Rey's eyes traced a line from his face to his groin. "Oh, yeah." Stepping back a little, she pulled her practical beige robes over her head and tossed them aside. "Is that better?"

"Better?" he said dumbly, staring at a nearly naked woman—his woman—for the first time in his life. "Uh—yes! But...what about the rest? Can I…?"

Rey nodded, sinking to her knees before him. "Yes, please."

Ben immediately fumbled with the compression band wrapped around Rey's chest. "Sorry," he muttered, willing his thick fingers to work.

"You don't have to keep apologizing," she laughed, helping him untangle the fabric. "We'll figure this out together."

"Okay," he breathed, marveling at the perfect slopes of her rose-tipped breasts once they were fully revealed. It was his turn to be stunned. "Wow."

"They aren't—um—too small, are they?"

"What?" Ben lifted his head, aghast. "Of course not!"

"You're not just saying that?" Now Rey was the one who sounded anxious.

"I would never lie to you," he assured her. Sliding his long fingers into her hair, he made quick work of the pins and ties holding it back. He smiled when the soft sable stands floated like a cloud around her shoulders, enjoying the intimacy of the simple act.

"I love your hair," he murmured, touching it almost reverently. He just stared at her for a moment, trying to figure out what to do next.

"I thought we could start slow," Rey supplied, reading his indecision. "Like this," she said, leading his hand to her breast, showing him how she liked to be touched.

"Okay?" he asked, kneading her soft skin.

"Yes," she sighed, preening under his touch. "I've never done this before either and it's…"

"Kind of embarrassing?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad we're on the same page, then," he said, pinching first one nipple, then the other. "Like this?" he checked again.

"Yes!" she gasped, pressing closer. They were both covered in a thin layer of sweat, so his fingers skated easily across her skin. "Just like that!"

"What else do you want?" he breathed, eager to give her more; to give her everything.

"I want your mouth," she murmured, lacing her arms around his neck. "I want your tongue touching mine, your teeth biting into—mmph!"

Ben closed the distance between them on a groan, devouring her lips like a man on the verge of starvation. "How could I have denied our connection for so long?" he wondered. "Nothing in the galaxy is more important than this, than her. I've been such a fool."

Sharing his unguarded thoughts, Rey kissed him harder, grinding against him with wanton abandon. "Us. Nothing is more important than us," she insisted.

He groaned in agreement, sliding his damp palms down her sides to the waistband of her plain underwear. "Can I…?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" Rey lay back as he pulled off her panties.

Ben stood arrested when the deed was done, transfixed by the thatch of brown curls at the apex of her thighs. The neatly trimmed hair looked soft, the petals of her sex wet. His mind raced with possibilities...

"Ben!"

"Huh?" he met Rey's intense gaze.

"I said I want you to touch me," she blushed, spreading her toned thighs.

"Oh!" he gulped, tentatively doing as she asked. "Okay, but you have to guide me."

"You're doing great all on your own," she squeaked as his large fingers gently massaged her nether lips.

It was an odd sensation, Ben reflected, fondling someone in such an intimate way. When he touched himself for relief, it was almost dispassionate, routine. But Rey was hot and wet and beautiful. He'd never experienced anything like it.

"Ben!" she whined as he pressed against her center. "Ben, wait!"

"What is it?" he said hastily, pulling back. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, no, nothing like that." Rey looked unsure for a moment before plowing ahead. "I just—I want to touch you too." And then she was reaching for him, encircling his cock with her small hands, establishing a whole new kind of connection between them.

"Rey!" he yelped, incredibly aroused as she pumped him from tip to stem. "Rey, please!"

"Please what?" she replied, her voice like honey.

"Don't make me stop!" he begged, fingers threading through her hair again. "Rey? Please let me keep touching you."

"Yes!" she acquiesced, no longer the least bit embarrassed. "Oh, Ben! Please!"

The temperature seemed to have risen another couple degrees since Rey had entered his room, but Ben scarcely noticed the heat as they collapsed onto his firm mattress together, her hand around his cock and his fingers between her legs.

Kissing her hard on the lips, Ben slowly slid one digit inside her tight opening. Rey squirmed beneath him, momentarily losing her grip on his hard member. Feeling a little more in control, Ben moved lower to feast on her distended nipples while pumping his finger in and out of her body.

"Ben! Oh—that feels!" Rey's mouth dropped open when he hit the right spot, unable to complete her sentence.

"Right there?" he growled, repeating the motion again and again.

"Mmm hmm," she hummed blissfully, trying to take him in her hand again. But this time, he danced out of her reach.

"Hey!" she complained, glaring her disapproval.

But Ben didn't relent. "Not yet, sweetheart."

"Ben—ah!" Rey arched her back as his thumb found her clitoris. "Ben, I'm—oh, yes! Yes!"

He continued sucking on her breasts while he worked his middle finger deeper. Soon, he was able to add another, stretching her untried body even further.

"Ben, that feels—please don't stop!" Rey moaned, lifting her hips in time with his rhythmic thrusting. "I'm so close!"

Abandoning her nipples, he lowered his dark head between her splayed thighs, inhaling her musky scent before replacing his fingers with his mouth.

"Maker!" Rey screamed at the first touch of his tongue.

Using his superior weight to control her wriggling body, Ben feasted on her until she was crying out in pleasure. Feeling more confident than he had in his entire life, he focused on bringing her to climax, on giving her exactly what she wanted.

Tapping into their bond, Ben allowed himself to revel in her desire for him, in her love. The way she felt about him was almost overwhelming, but he held onto sanity just long enough for…

"Ben! I love you!" Rey gasped as the galaxy exploded around her, slumping onto the bed in exquisite repose.

He gathered her to his chest in the aftermath, smiling as she tried to get as close as possible. His large hands roved over her eager curves, marveling at how perfectly they fit together. And for the first time in a very long time… he felt at peace.

——————

A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope this fic is as healing for you as it is for me <3

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