#it’s warm and sunny and quiet and I am not Overwhelmed With Anxiety

[notmymainblog]

Can you do a young sirius black x reader fic where the reader and sirius are dating and the reader has really bad depression and he finds out about

⭐I most certainly can! I hope you’re doing well, love. Mental health is a vital part of our lives. Regulating our emotions and coping in healthy ways is super important. For a list of ways to cope with mental illness(s), please see this Post.⭐

Master list

InteractiveFics

To use: Download obvi. Click the icon (upper right by the search bar) in the first box enter your name. If you did it correctly, y/n should read as your actual name. Under that, it will say something along the lines of “need to change something other than “y/n?” there you can change anything you want. ”y/h/c” and “y/h” don't work together, so please enter “y/ho” if you're inputting your Hogwarts house.

I’ll be using y/f/s as your favorite song, so please add that to InteractiveFics

Writing prompts for writer's block: “I’m begging you, please don’t lock yourself in your room.” & “You’d better put that knife down.”

Warnings: Swearing, lol, mentions of restricting (non-eating disordered), self-harm, depression, & anxiety.

Genre: Fluff (it’s not under sad because the ending is happy💕).

“The path out of hell is through misery. By refusing to accept the misery that is part of climbing out of hell, you fall back into hell.” -Marsha Linehan

   “y/n,” Sirius groaned, “for Merlin’s sake, come to dinner,”

     A soft “no” could be heard through the thick oak door of your y/ho dorm. It was met with an exasperated sigh from the other side.

     “y/n, please. I don’t think I’ve seen you out of your dorm all weekend,” Sirius said.

     “I don’t feel well, Siri, just go eat without me,” you said.

     You weren’t exactly sure what spurred your depression, but it’s here now, and it was seriously (hehe, siriusly) fucking with you. Sleeping seemed to be your only hobby besides homework and wallowing in self-loathing. Dinner was scarce. It was hard to take care of yourself. 

     Brushing your teeth was hard, showering was hard, brushing your hair was hard, trying not to breakdown in a room full of people you just knew were looking and talking about you was hard. Not thinking you were worth anything was hard. Watching Sirius talking to other, prettier girls even just for a moment was really hard. It always made you doubt. 

     Life was pretty fucking shitty. ‘‘Fuck’’ was a pretty big word in your vocabulary. “fuck this shit,” “fuck you,” “fuck off,” and “fuck life” were some of your favorites.

     It didn’t take a genius to recognize that you were down in the dumps, so Sirius spent most of his time trying to cheer you up. His efforts mostly consisted of dying Dumbledore’s beard, listening to your favorite songs, or just touching you any chance he got. Laying his head on your shoulder, holding hands, or crossing his foot under yours during dinner.

     It was sweet that he wanted to help, and he was really giving it his all, but being around him just meant that you plastered on a grin and told him you were feeling “much better.”    

     “You’re magically sick every weekend y/n, just come with me. It’ll be quick, but you need to eat, babe,” he pleaded.

     And so, you begrudgingly went down to dinner. The great hall was bright and noisy, the complete opposite of your dim, quiet room. 

     “y/n!” James grinned, “you came out of your cave!”

     Remus elbowed him, “we’re happy to see you y/n.” he smiled.

You sat down and took a plate, putting whatever was in front of you on it and forcing the food down your throat. Your body was thankful, and you had forgotten how nice it was to eat and laugh with friends. Unfortunately, you felt like you were hit by a bus about two minutes later.

     It’s too loud, too bright, you’re too tired, too anxious, they’re all looking at you, all trying to talk to you, and it’s overwhelming. You feel a hand on your arm, and it pushes you over the edge.

     “I really, just can’t, um, I’m just,” you stuttered, “um yeah sorry, sick. Bye,”

    You walked away quickly, nearly jogging. 

     “Jesus Christ, Sirius, what’d you do to her,” James said.

     “What do you mean? It’s just her period,” he shrugged, “every year for a month,” 

     Remus put his head in his hands, “it’s once a month for a week. She’s depressed, Sirius. Are you that thick?”

     James nodded along with Remus. He didn’t know anything about periods except that Lily punched him a lot more when she had hers.

     Sirius looked up at Remus, “what do you mean depressed? She always says she feels better when we hang out,” he smiled triumphantly, “and she always smiles around me,” 

     “She’s faking it, Siri. She just doesn’t want you to worry. I’ll go comfort her, don’t worry about it,” Remus replied, getting up.

      “No, no, no! I wanna do it! I’m her boyfriend, it’s my job to...to...what exactly should I do?” he trailed off.

     It wasn’t that Sirius didn’t struggle with depression; it was that he had never had someone to comfort him. He couldn’t even imagine what he would need, let alone you.

     As much as Remus wanted to tell Sirius to back off while he took care of it, he tried to help.

     “fine,” Remus sighed and sat back down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Twenty minutes later and it was back to square one.

     “y/n open up! Please?” he said.

     “No! Just go away!” you responded in-between small sobs.

      “I’m begging you, please don’t lock yourself in your room.” he pleaded.

     He heard shuffling before you slowly opened the door. Your eyes were puffy and watery, your sleeves were rolled up, and a knife was in your hand.

     “What?” you mumbled.

     He pushed the door open with little resistance. You stood to the side, looking down. Your room was pretty clean except for a pile of letters on your desk, a very messy bed, and your clothes were thrown everywhere.

     He turned around to look at you. You were gorgeous. You were wearing the dress he loved. You braided your hair and put on some makeup. Next, he saw the letters piled on your desk. He looked over at you again as you sniffled.

     His eyes watered, “oh my god, y/n. You were gonna...”

     “Why do you care,” you interrupted, “nobody cares,”

     “Honey, why would you think that?”

     “I dunno... I just know,” you said, fiddling with the knife in your hands.

     He sighed, “y/n you’d better put that knife down.” he threatened.

     “Why?!” you shouted, “Why should I stay?!” your tears were hot. They blurred your vision.

     “Because we need you y/n,” he said, “because we fucking love you and need you. What the fuck would we do without you y/n? Think about James and Lily and Remus (fuck Peter, my homies, and I hate Peter). Think about your mom and dad. Think about me. The wedding we wouldn’t get to have. I’d say kids, but you’ve made it very clear that childbirth isn’t for you,” he smiled weakly.

     “and we can get a house. and a cat cause we already have a dog,” he said

     “No, we don’t?” you said, confused.

      “It’s me y/n I’m the dog,” he laughed, “you always call me ‘dog boy’ when you’re pissed off,”

     He inched closer and eased the knife from your hands.

     “There we go, honey, it’s okay now,” he soothed, “let’s get this out of here, huh?” he tucked it in his pocket, “we’re gonna put it away, and we’re not gonna hurt ourselves. we’re gonna stay nice and safe,” he stroked your cheek before giving you a soft kiss.

     “That’s it. That’s my girl. It’s alright now, honey,” he wrapped his arms around you.

     He hummed softly and led you over to the bed.

     “You’re humming y/f/s?” you whispered.

     He nodded, “I know it’s your favorite, princess,”

     He muttered some spells as his wand traced your cuts. It felt like warm water washed over them. It kind of burned. His arms wrapped around you, and he pulled you to his chest.

     “shh, that’s it, sweetie, just relax. Just lay with me,” he kissed the top of your head, “I am so proud of you for eating today.”

     The praise made the corners of your lips turn up in a small smile.

     “There’s a pretty smile, love,” he whispered, “there’s my y/n. You’re so perfect, honey. I love you so much y/n,” he said.

     The next few weeks were spent slowly working your way up to eating at least two meals, brushing your teeth at least once, letting Sirius brush your hair (he loves brushing your hair so much oml), and talking to the four of them again. At first, it was just one of them every so often and then two, and before you knew it, you were comfortable having all four of them sat in your dorm.

     And then you started heading down to the common room, to the marauders’ dorms, until you were sitting around the fire in the common room, laughing. You had been in the pit. You were sitting at the bottom of it, flipping off everyone who called down to you and wanted to help. It was hot in the pit. The ladder was hot.

     So you decided to stay in the pit until one day, Sirius Black threw down a pair of oven mitts. This metaphorical pit was extremely real to you, and the ladder was really fucking hot, but the oven mitts helped, and when you climbed out of the pit, it was a beautiful sunny day.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you may have noticed, y/n’s depression seems mild at first, and that's what happens irl. It's fine until you break open; it’s intense. So I tried to capture that.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius x you #sad fic #x reader #marauders era #harry potter #harry potter marauders #sad #depression #self harrrm #ily #staysafe #be careful #i love you

[merrumeru]

Let me cheer you up even more: Graham!90 x reader

Words: 1870

Warning: nope, zero

The room was dark. The only light that could enter the room was the glow of the stars and of the tiny moon in the night sky. I was surrounded by silence as the last song on the vinyl record ended twenty minutes early. I had no desire or humor to get out of bed and change it. I focused on my slow and deep breathing. It was supposed to help me calm down, but it didn't work for me. My eyes were fixed on a distant point in the sky. I felt as if I was sinking into my anxiety. But I couldn't understand why. My life was going in quiet rhythm, I had a roof over my head and someone who cared for me. However, the thought of the future made me panic. Looking at friends who knew what they wanted to do in life, at Graham and his thriving career…I was stalled. I couldn't find a place for myself or this one thing that would be my passion. Graham always said that everything is fine with me, that I will somehow put my life in order. That he, my age, was also feeling lost. Still, the thought of working or continuing my studies scared my in the deep of heart. If I can't see my future myself, so does it even exist? I covered myself with the duvet. From head to toe, as if I was going to disappear. I promised Graham I would wait for him tonight. We'll watch a movie and eat something good. But suddenly I lost my desire for anything. I wanted to fall asleep and wake up in a much better mood. I suspected it was almost 10pm and Graham would be back from the band rehearsal soon. 

I heard the key in the door twist. The hit of his backpack on the ground and the sound of shoes being taken off. „Love I’m back”. The mellow voice of Graham sounded so happy. But I was about to ruin it all. On the one hand, I wanted to tell him how hopeless I felt, on the other hand, I preferred not to put stress on him at home. I didn't want to be a sad part of his life, I was supposed to help and encourage him. Graham was more delicate than I was and much more concerned about everything. I didn’t want the negative emotions and stress which he felt through a lack of privacy and high expectations soaking into his heart also in our home. So I pretended to be asleep.

I heard him slowly approaching the bed. He probably didn't expect to find me sleeping. I heard his soft laugh. „Y/N why you always decide to miss the best fun. Okay. I'll put the food in the fridge and lie down too.” 

„I’m awake”. I turned to face him. It was dark enough in the room that I could only see his silhouette.  

„Did something happened?” I heard his voice suddenly turn serious. I knew that he suddenly felt tensed, as if I was about to say that some kind of disaster had happened. I was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. „You are sick? Did something unpleasant happen to you at university? Sorry to be late, but you didn't call so I thought everything …”

„No! No Graham, everything is ok. I’m just tired” I stopped in the middle of a sentence, a lump that appeared in my throat blocked all words. „You will be angry if we put our romantic evening in another evening, or day, or  whatever?”

„Hey, who do you think I am. Of course it's not a problem baby.” I felt the bed on his side slowly bend under the weight of his body. Graham put his hand on my head and lightly stroked my hair. „I'm just worried. You've been sad for a while and I don't know how to help you.” I stretched my hand toward him and squeezed his hands tightly. „Your voice is so weak, yet your grip is still hard”.The moonlight illuminated his face and a shy smile. His thumb gently caressed the back of my hand.

„Nothing happens. I've just had bad days lately. You know, life is too much to handle for me sometimes.” 

„You can always tell me about anything Y/N. I don't want you to feel lonely in difficult times.” Graham released my hand. He took off his hoodie and tossed it next to the bed. After a moment, he was lying next to me, pressing me tightly to his chest. „God, why are you so emotionally unavailable. Will you ever stop being a mystery to me?” He placed a few kisses on my hair. I put one leg on his hip and gripped his T-shirt tighter. I wanted to blend in with his skin.

„I love you so much Graham. I don't know how to express it all.” His heart was beating fast. He radiated a warmth that I missed so much. I could wear a hundred sweaters, be surrounded by several heaters while sitting on one of the sunny beaches, and nothing would warm my heart and hands more than his inner warmth. 

„You don't have to show it or look for ways to express it. Just trust me and let me understand you.” His hand rested on my bare thigh, which I got on his hip.He used his finger to paint little circles. I brought my mouth close to his and kissed him softly. One sloppy stroke of the lips, but right after that a second time, much deeper and passionately.

He pulled me towards him so that I was suddenly on top of him. Our lips hardly detached.I felt hotter and hotter, as if all the accumulated emotions had suddenly burst forth and like a wave and found their way out. I felt dizzy, all my bad thoughts disappeared like clouds after the storm. Graham's hands got under my shirt and rested on my bare back. I opened my eyes and broke off the kiss. I straightened up, staring deeply into his eyes. Graham lowered his hands to my hips and gripped them tightly.

„You have such a handsome face, bastard. We both started laughing. „Handsome, talented… you are made to be star.” I pinched his cheek that he grimaced slightly, small lines forming on his nose.„And these crowds of female fans undressing you with their eyes.”

„I'm just looking for the eyes of one girl in this crowd. And I don't have to undress her with my sight. She does it by herself when we are at our home.” Graham straightened his glasses and rose to his elbows.”I just hope that she listen carefully to my words and will follow them. After all, with me, she doesn't have to be afraid of anything.”

He tucked a few locks of hair behind my ear and placed a hand against my cheek. My head rested on it. „Y/N just take it all easy. You are good enough at what you do right now. Life is not only about challenges. Sometimes there are occasions that come by themselves. Whatever it may be, I will try to be always by your side.” I wanted to cry and didn’t know if it was more of sadness or pure happiness and peace that overwhelmed me. 

“When did you get so mature? Two years ago, you wouldn't have been giving me such deep advice, just trying to make me laugh or whatever. Where's my baby boy gone?”  I smiled at the memories of the beginning of our relationship.  Even though Graham is three years older than me, I have always had the tendency to mother him. His delicacy combined with shyness and frequent confusion made me place my whole heart in his hands. I loved watching him do what he loves and his hard work was paying off.

“You have a great influence on me. I doubt if I could mentally handle this without you.” Graham's eyes were on me as I got up from the bed.”Where are you going love?”

“You don't even know how much I feel like having tea.” I stretched gently because my whole body was asleep and put on his hoodie that was lying on the floor. ”I'll do one for you too. You can easily go take a shower. When I'll come back, let's stay in bed, we've been doing it much too rarely lately”. 

Graham chuckled and get up without one word. Before I left the room,I looked out of the corner of my eye as he took off his shirt. I bit my lower lip. His body was lean, not very muscular. It pained me that he couldn't see how handsome he was. His broad-shouldered silhouette, bathed in the darkness of the night, made me want to approach him, hug him tightly and kiss his back. Graham turned to face me and tossed the shirt in his hand at me. „Don’t peek! You were supposed to make tea hmmm?”

„Oh c’mon mr.She Coxon. I won't give you back this shirt.” 

„Just like my hoodie?” I saw him shift the weight from one leg to the other and cross his arms over his chest. 

„What is this slander towards me, Coxon?” I stuck my tongue out at him and, without waiting for an answer, disappeared into the darkness of the hall.

When I returned with two cups, Graham was waiting for me. The room was lit now by a single lamp in the corner of the room. His hair was still wet, he was wearing sweatpants but still no shirt. The towel hung loosely around his neck.  Graham flicked through the vinyl records, humming some tunes. Eventually he settled on one and put it in the adapter. I put the tea on the bedside table and lay down, trying to guess what music was about to start playing.

Graham positioned himself between my legs so that his head rested on my stomach.I gently stroked his thick, still wet hair. "God, I don't know how I'll survive these two months without you Y / N”. His hands wrapped around my torso.”Fucking hell”.

“You can always lie like this with Damon.” Graham turned his head abruptly, his chin gently digging into my stomach.

“This is a bloody bad idea. Where do you get such strange ideas from”

“I am not the one who has a deep male friendship. Straight fact, baby. I watched a program once about people in the jungle and they did weird things ...” I ran my finger down his nose.

“What the fuck, I won't be in jungle, in fact we even won't be in village. We're not going to a survival camp.” 

“You never know Graham. What if the plane will stuck on a desert island, or the bus will be unable to leave the forest?”

“Maybe let's not go that far. Let's go back to why I'm going to miss you, your body, your words and just being here.” Graham pulled himself to meet my lips.

“But the the-...”

“It won't get the legs and come out by itself. Let me cheer you up even more.”

#graham coxon #blur #blur fanfic #graham coxon x reader #graham coxon imagine #graham coxon fanfic #britpop #fanfic #90s

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 27

First time reader click here

TWs/Summary: If you read carefully, you knew this; if you didn't: reader was drugged at the party. Hangover from Hell ft. boys being cute, Loki being best friend material and reader fully integrating him into the Gen-Z community via Monster energy drinks and depressive music whilst being sad. I live for Loki/reader friendship tbh.

So folks, this is the last big plot thing before the endgame. I reckon it's about 10-15 chapters left until out happy ending and the next bit is going to focus on developing reader's and Stephen's relationship. There will be smutty parts too - either chapters or interludes, idk, depending on how well they'll integrate into the story.

I love y'all.

Ow, was my first thought upon waking up. My head throbbed something fierce, the pressure behind my eyelids was unbearable and my mouth tasted like a bog on a sunny summer's day. I was warm, from both sides, and one of the bodies felt foreign in everything besides the smell - sandalwood leaked through the lead curtain of alcohol and sex.

Needless to say, I had trouble piecing together the fine details of last night but had enough coherence to remember our... Activities. I was sore and Strange's long arm was still possessively draped over both me and Tony. The luck was on my side as I carefully wiggled out of his grasp, padding to the bedroom on quiet feet. The sorcerer barely moved, only grumbling briefly at the loss of my warmth and immediately quieting, shamelessly snuggling into Tony.

I would have not exaggerated if I said it was the worst hangover of my life. It was baffling, really, because I'd gone way wilder and didn't suffer half as much after effects; my first attempt to brush my teeth ended with my face resting against the toilet bowl, my empty stomach rejecting what little liquid in it was left as the room spun on its axis. That was incredibly embarrassing and I hoped my boys wouldn't wake up to witness my best impression of a bum - and they didn't, both men still sound asleep and interwined like snakes when I put on the shirt closest to me and departed in search of coffee.

My mood only worsened. Steve and Bucky were already up, shoveling an impressive amount of eggs and bacon, as Bucky quietly teased Steve about his own hangover. The blonde man was slightly greenish, disheveled - we traded equally glum looks and nodded to each other in silence. The smell of food made my stomach churn and I retreated, one black coffee in hand, towards Bruce's lab, having been informed by Friday that neither Tony not Stephen planned on waking up.

"Morning, Princess," Bruce smiled kindly, pushing his glasses out of the way to hold me close and give me a sweet kiss. "Had fun? The boys still asleep?"

I giggled at Bruce calling Tony and Stephen boys. "Yeah. I wouldn't be wearing Stephen's shirt if he was up and about, I think." I pointed out the obvious.

Bruce chuckled, holding my face to give me a long, thoughtful look. I stared back, hoping convey my respect and adoration without having to say a word; like Tony, I wasn't particularly apt when it came to talking feelings. Whatever Bruce was looking for, he found it, and sealed it with another kiss, twice as long and twice as sweet. We stood like that, my head on his shoulder and my arms firmly holding him to myself, until the elevator dinged behind the glass wall, revealing a shirtless Stephen and Tony in his pajama pants, both men bickering animatedly.

"Aw shit, here we go again," I rolled my eyes, unhappy about the possibility of the magic being broken. I rather preferred all three men to be like yesterday: friendly, kind and relaxed.

"I will kick them out if I have to," Bruce shrugged, turning me around to face them.

Tony smiled, seeing me, stopping mid-conversation. "Princess, I am disappointed in your lack of manners. You left me with Merlin and he is mean." The engineer unceremoniously snatched me from Bruce and smooched me, hangover breath and all.

"Gross, Tony," I rolled my eyes, giving the man a light shove in the chest. "Morning, Steph," I addressed the third man who had gone back to his usual stoic expression. Just to see his resolve crack, because I loved pushing his buttons, I gave him a good morning kiss too, and was unexpectedly blown away by the eager response from his side. As I pulled back, I noticed his cheeks dusting a light pink.

"I came to get my shirt but I think you'd rather keep it," The sorcerer's fingers caressed my skin beneath the collar of his shirt, voice still low and scratchy from sleep and those magnetic eyes fixated on the exposed flesh of my chest, no trace of previous awkwardness.

"You sure 'bout that?" I pushed one of the sides off, exposing my shoulder, seeing Tony gulp the remainder of my coffee, one hand already messing with the screen that Bruce was focused on. "I think I look better without it," I would never miss an opportunity to tease the uptight man.

"Quite," He grinned, "It's a shame I didn't get to see much last night..." Two could play this game, okay.

"Oh, but you will," Tony piped up suddenly, a hint of smugness in his voice barely covered by Bruce's fond chuckle. I really didn't know what to say, suddenly overwhelmed with the attention, my emotions amplified by the hangover - party drugs tended to exaggerate my anxiety on the comedown.

And what a comedown it was. My social energy ran out very quickly so I complained about a nasty headache and retreated into my room, Bruce's gentle hands pressing a bottle of Ibuprofen into my own. Despite my attempts to tame my rioting body, it got worse before it got better and shortly before lunch, I had thrown up twice more. Pissed off, I ran a bath with cold water and sat in it until I felt somewhat human to prepare myself for a journey to Wanda's apartment - as a last resort, I was going to chug on of Pietro's Monster energy drinks that I knew he kept hidden there.

The retrieval was a success. Cans securely hidden in the kangaroo pocket of Tony's oversized hoodie I had thrown on, I had to make a haste detour to throw up once again - the closest bathroom was in Loki's apartment and I only managed to knock twice before throwing open the door and making a mad dash for the porcelain throne, a very confused Asgardian following my movements with raised eyebrows.

"Hangover from Hell," I croaked once the first wave subsided. Loki nodded in understanding, waved a hand to summon me a water bottle and shut the door behind himself.

As I sat there, desperately trying to understand why was I feeling like utter shit... It clicked. Bile rose to my throat once again, and I just dry heaving, mulling my revelation over and over again.

I didn't take any drugs. I had been drugged. My memories became hazy and dream-like shortly after someone had given me the drink... Someone, who? It was a split-second moment; Sam, even in his drunk state, didn't keep his eyes off me for too long. Maybe it had been someone the team knew? Possibilities began playing out in my head. Cursed was my overactive brain - the anxiety from the leftover drugs was making me panic.

"Fuck, FUCK," My hands shook - I only noticed it because I had spilled water on myself, adding cold and wet to the unpleasant sensations I was already experiencing. "Why am I such a fucking fuck-up." Taking a drink from a stranger seemed downright idiotic now. Middle school bullshit.

"Are you alright?" Loki's worried voice interrupted my inner monologue.

"Yes," I replied, voice cracking. "No. I don't fucking know."

The door all but flew open, the Asgardian taking several long strides to take a good long look at me. The frown on his face tells me all I needed to know about my physical and mental state.

A slender hand tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "What happened?"

I laughed tersely, feeling tears to begin welling in the corners of my eyes. "I'm an idiot," Seeing his face get annoyed briefly, I conceded: "I got drugged yesterday. My drink."

The hand that he had slid between my shoulder blades froze. I felt his whole body go rigid and his nostrils flare, the smell of ozone and something foreign - magic - filling the small space. The air around us became charged with the power of his anger. "Pardon?" His voice was dangerously quiet.

I physically fought with the need to flinch away from him, settling for lowering my eyes and staring at the dark stain on my hoodie. "I got carried away dancing. Someone handed me a drink and my stupid ass just shotgunned it," I confessed, picking at the wet spot. "And I can't tell anybody because I had a threesome with Stephen and Tony," I suddenly realised, my voice raising in pitch. "They're gonna think I didn't want it and feel bad. You know how Tony blames himself for everything under the sun..." Another wave of dizziness and nausea hit me as I leaned against the wall closest to me.

"Alright," Loki conceded after a brief pause. "We absolutely are telling the others. I'll make sure they understand," The Asgardian stated firmly in a tone that bore no argument. Seeing me lift my head to protest, he interrupted me before I could say anything: "Did you... Did you want it?" He asked me, hooking a single finger under my chin to look me in the eye.

I nodded, feeling my face heat up.

"You're not lying. The team knows of my ability to detect lies. Nobody will blame anyone..." Loki trailed off, obviously already plotting something. I wished it were a prank both of us were conspiring on instead of... Trying to make sense of this cluster fuck of a shit show. The circus called, they seemed to have left their clowns behind. "Although I will have a word with Sam." The Asgardian muttered darkly.

"No, it's not his fault. I just got too relaxed, I need to pucker up and be responsible for myself," I protested, damn well knowing it wasn't the Bird's fault. Everyone was drunk and I should've known better.

"It's not yours either," Loki sneered, seeing right through my self-loathing. It took a deep, slow sigh for him to calm down. His expression softened and the hand that was on my back resumed the gentle stroking as he scooted closer to me to press my side against his chest. "Vile people of this kind aren't exclusive to Midgard. It could have happened to anyone."

I nodded, my logical part briefly taking over as the waves of nausea and dizziness waned. I stifled a giggle, coming to another sudden revelation. "You holding up my hair as I barf out my hangover? That makes you qualified for the position of my Best Friend," I stated with a snort.

Loki chuckled, relaxing bit by bit. "I accept the position," His voice was unusually soft and a little bit shaky; I chose to tactfully ignore it. "Shall I call for assembly in the war room?"

I sighed, the dread and anxiety creeping it's way back in. "Can we just... Wait a bit? I have something- hold on-" I rummaged around my pocket, taking out two cans of Monster. Loki eyed them curiously and I extended one to him. "It probably won't do much for you but for me it's a last-resort hangover cure." I popped open the metal cap, seeing him do the same. "Be warned though, it tastes kinda funky if you're not used to it," I announced the disclaimer but it simply egged Loki on.

The scrunched up face he made was pretty funny. "It's sour but sickeningly sweet at the same time? I can't tell," He briefly eyed the written ingredients on the can.

"There are a bunch of flavors. Pietro likes the plain one, I like the purple one better, it's not so tongue-burning." I paused to inhale loudly. "If this is what college life looks like, I don't want to go," Mustering up my courage and gathering my balls in a knot, with one broad motion I closed my nose and poured the carbonated acid down my throat until my eyes watered. "Gimme a minute," I hiccuped, trying to keep it down.

Wide-eyed, Loki took a chaste sip of his own drink, eyeing me warily. He looked part impressed part disgusted with the little stunt. "I am pretty certain that is counter-productive."

"Caffeine make brain and body go skrrt," I argued back. "Friday, play my "grant me the sweet release of death" playlist. I'm upset," I announced and the AI obliged silently, the first notes of Placebo's 'Exit Wounds' beginning to play. If I was going to mop in a stranger's bathroom, I was going to do it with style. Even if said style was just simply stealing in my own misery with emo background music.

Loki stared at me, I stared back, both of us lost in our respective minds. At one point, he began swaying to the music slightly, resting the cool tin of the can against his cheek; I followed suit, mouthing along to some of the lyrics. It took us about a dozen songs to finally finish the liquid acid that was Monster energy drink and my ass felt like the bathroom tile itself: flat and hard.

"Do you ever feel like the universe just hates you for no fucking reason?" I groused, taking Loki's outstretched hand and slowly feeling the blood rush back to my legs.

"You wouldn't believe," He rolled his eyes in solidarity, vanishing away the empty containers. "Norns, give me a Hel-damned break."

I laced his arm through mine as we exited his apartment, feeling considerably less upset than I was before. I couldn't protect myself, but one look at Loki's sullen, irritated expression was bound to scare off anyone who dared to interrupt our mission.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

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[606writings]

SC: Depression [Lucien]

A/N: This was definitely not the best I could do but I wanted to finish this one no matter what! This is slightly based on an experience I had with an anxiety attack and depression, so I’m not sure if it will be relatable for you all, but I really hope you enjoy❤

Genre: Little bit of angst and kind of fluffy.

Word count: 2,672.

It was a wonderful and sunny day, perfect for a walk and eating something refreshing and sweet, so you thought it would be a good idea to pay your boyfriend a visit to his office and drag him out of there to walk with you, since you were sure he probably has been stuck for a long time in his laboratory working his ass off, as always.

I should’ve brought something less sweet for Lucien, maybe he hasn’t eaten yet…

You were wondering if it was better to go back and get him a salad or something healthy and fresh to eat first, but quickly brushed off the idea as you were entering the building, too late to go back to home.

I hope I won’t be getting on his way by coming here without a notice.

You started fidgeting with the bag of ice creams in your hands, walking up the stairs directly to his office, but you were frozen by the sight of a beautiful, tall, and well-dressed woman walking down the hallway at the same time as Lucien opened his office’s door and stepped out with a graceful smile to welcome the woman, without noticing your presence just a few meters behind him.

“Professor Lucien! I’m so excited to work with you today!” The woman curved her red velvet lips forming a wide smile, placing her left hand on your boyfriend’s shoulder with a delicate movement.

You only stood there for a few seconds as they greeted each other, but you could only notice how she batted her lashes with hints of nervousness, and she wouldn’t stop smiling and leaning her body towards Lucien, in a clear sign of attraction.

Lucien was acting just as eloquent and professional as ever, but he was obviously smart enough to notice the woman’s behavior.

“Should we continue talking inside? There’s a lot of work waiting for us.” The calm and sophisticated voice of your boyfriend interrupted your analysis over her, and you could react just after the door was shut behind them, leaving you expectant at the last stair step.

Slightly confused you looked around you not knowing what to do, when you spotted one of Lucien’s coworkers you sometimes talked to, and approached him.

“Excuse me, sir.” You smiled lightly as a polite salute, as he turned around and smiled back at you. “I’m sorry, is professor Lucien busy right now? I came by surprise and wanted to say hi to him.”

“Oh, dear, what a sweet girlfriend you must be.” The man chuckled, making you blush slightly. “But unfortunately, yes. Professor Lucien just received an important guest today! We were all in the building so eager to meet her, she is Maria Irwin!”

The old man in front of you seemed pretty excited just by telling you her name, as if you obviously knew who she was. But looking at your confused expression, he laughed and shook his hand in the air.

“Ah, sorry, sorry! I suppose you’re not well aware of the scientific community!” He kept explaining. “She is just as known and respected as professor Lucien in our community, as smart as she is beautiful, if I dare to say. Maria came here to work in an important project with him, so this was a long-awaited visit; they will probably be busy for a while.”

You sighed and nodded slowly, understanding how important that meeting must be, so it was better for you not to interrupt them.

You thanked the man and started walking back home again with the bag in your hands still full of all the ice creams and sweets you brought, which you probably would have to eat alone back at home.

It was sort of a long walk from Lucien’s office to your apartment, and since it was a sunny and warm day you would better hurry up and get home fast. But you were too busy immerse in your thoughts to force the pace.

She was definitely the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen… And she must be pretty smart if she was compared to Lucien…

Those were innocent thoughts about how a beautiful woman walked into your boyfriend’s office, but then you remembered the way she looked at him and the way she clearly was flirting with him.

You weren’t the jealous type of girlfriend, but you surely knew how to recognize when a beautiful and smart woman was on another whole level from you.

They kind of looked good together, actually…

You stopped in your tracks suddenly overwhelmed by the thought that just crossed your mind. You knew you shouldn’t be saying -or thinking- that kind of stuff. Lucien was your boyfriend, for the love of God! You knew he loved you and he was such a gentleman and a decent person, of course he would never look at another woman.

But the unwelcomed feeling that was growing in your chest was not because you were afraid of him cheating on you, it was because you knew that Maria Irwin -whoever she was- was much better than you and that maybe she would be a better partner for Lucien.

A smart woman for a smart man; a beautiful woman for a handsome man; an elegant and sophisticated woman for an equally elegant and sophisticated man. They were the perfect match, without a doubt.

Why would Lucien be with me, when he can be with any other woman…? What does he even see in me…?

You could feel the anxiety and insecurities crawling out from the darkest places of your mind, leaving negative thoughts on their way. All the horrible feelings you had not encountered in a long time were coming back at once; you were feeling so overwhelmed by them you could not hear anything outside from your breathing, and your eyes were focused on the ground.

I’m not even that pretty, and I’m nowhere near as smart as them…

Heavy panting replaced your soft breathing as your chest tightened and you felt your eyes getting filled with tears.

He should be with someone at his level, why would he be with me…? Am I even worth it…?

Your trembling hands wouldn’t stop until you felt something dripping in your right shoe. Your eyes moved only a little to then be placed over the bag you were carrying in your hands, now soaked in colorful liquids; the ice cream was almost completely melted by now.

As if something switched in your mind out of nowhere, your tears suddenly stopped falling from your eyes, and your hands were no more shaking.

Now you were just an empty shell.

You stood there quiet for a moment, just assimilating what was happening with you. You could not feel anything else other than the heaviness trapped in your chest, but all the physical symptoms of your anxiety attack were gone, and that was better than nothing because now at least you could get home as quick as possible.

A few hours later you were now in sitting in your couch with your head thrown back, and your eyes stuck on the ceiling. You weren’t thinking any more of what happened before with Lucien and that other woman, your mind was almost completely blank, but every now and then small thoughts invaded you:

Should I just break up with him…?

He is just wasting his time with me; he could be with someone else…

Look at me pitying myself… If Lucien saw me like this, he would know how pathetic I am…

Your train of thought was interrupted by a familiar sound, letting you know you received a text from your boyfriend. Without even noticing it, your hand was already slowly reaching your phone, in an almost automated movement.

“I heard that you were here earlier, did you need something?” The shinning screen in your hands was showing a text waiting for your response, which you weren’t sure to give; you didn’t intend to ignore him but at the same time you wanted to avoid any contact with him because that would only make you feel worse.

“Yeah, I dropped by just to say hi.” You forced yourself to write.

“Sorry for not receiving you. I’ll get you dinner tonight.”

“No need to. I’m about to sleep anyway.”

After that last message you didn’t even bother to check if there was any response from him. You said that just as an excuse but you actually thought it was better to sleep and try to forget everything that happened today.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t even do that. After two hours of laying in your bed looking at the ceiling you weren’t able to fall asleep; the emptiness inside you would not let you relax at all, it started to get annoying at this point, you could feel how your temperament was getting worse with any second that passed by.

The next morning, after you only slept 2 hours, when your alarm rang your automated movements came back and you started getting ready for work without even paying any attention whatsoever. The rest of the day was just like that: a memorized daily routine effected with the least possible effort just to get through the day without getting to think too much.

You made an effort to ignore any message in your phone that was left from Lucien; more than trying to ignore him, it was a defense mechanism to try and forget those previous feelings that had put you in that state in the first place. It was not fair for Lucien but you just weren´t ready to confront him, not when all these negative things were swirling around your mind. You wanted to get better so he would never get to see that side of you.

Later that day, you were arriving home later than usual because you tried to keep yourself busy until the very end. Maybe it was an unconscious decision so you would not bump into Lucien that night, since you two usually got home at the same time.

Apparently, destiny was working against you, because just as you were walking out of the elevator you saw a tall man standing in front of your door looking at something in his phone, distracted.

Then your phone started ringing, causing the tall man to turn around and see you. You looked down to your home screen and the name Lucien was shining.

“Aren’t you picking up?” The man’s voice brought you out of your auto-pilot mode, and only then you noticed that man -Lucien- standing there with his phone dialing you in his left hand while looking at you with expectation.

“Oh, sorry…” You blinked slowly still not completely out of trance, and you passed by him walking to your door to enter your home.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” His soft voice showing hints of worry pierced your ears, causing you to slowly process what the situation was, throwing reality at your face.

Instead of answering his question, you accidentally dropped your keys when your hands started trembling. All the feelings your unconscious was trying to avoid since the previous day, piling up inside you, came out at once.

“You weren’t answering my texts since last night. I got worried and decided to…” Your ears stopped working in that moment; you body could not take anything more.

You stepped back stunned, your mind was completely blank for a second and you felt yourself trapped in a little cage inside your mind. You were there, but at the same time you weren’t in charge of your body any more.

You only felt a strong grip holding your arms from behind you, stopping you from crashing into the floor. The dizziness stopped for a second only to hear your boyfriend’s voice:

“Y/N! Can you hear me? Are you okay?”

Tears started streaming down your face, with loud cries bursting from your mouth without you even intending to. At that moment, his voice full of love and worry had already broken whatever that was containing all your feelings.

Everything was getting blurry at that point; you only heard yourself crying out loud with Lucien speaking slowly in your ear trying to comfort you. And then you noticed you were being carried in his arms into his apartment, and placing you in the couch.

By now, you regained conscience of what was happing again, but you didn’t care and kept crying and getting everything out of you; maybe that would make you feel better.

“Whenever you feel ready to talk, darling…” Lucien’s calm voice as ever, worked as a sedative and helped you quiet your loud sobs.

He hugged you tightly and held you against him with gentleness, not caring how your tears were ruining his white shirt, just showing you how much he cared and that he would be patient with you until you wanted to open up to him.

It took you almost an hour to completely calm down; an hour in which he held you close, whispered sweet nothings in your ear, and placed small kisses on your forehead.

“Lucien…” You suddenly spoke with a scratchy voice, from your tired throat.

“Mmm?” He mumbled gently.

“Why…? Why are you with me…?” You pushed yourself to ask him what was bothering you.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds, with obvious confusion about your question, but then he sighed in relief that you were talking again to him.

“Haven’t I mentioned you already why I love you so much?” He grinned.

You shook your head slowly in response.

“You are the sweetest person I know. You are what kids these days would call a young and cheerful soul.” Lucien laughed.

You blushed and hid your face in his chest, not sure how to absorb his words.

“Because I’m more of a science man, I love how you can see the magic in the world and how you always manage to make everything brighter, Y/N.” He continued talking.

“I love everything about you; the way you speak about things you like or dislike, the way you react when I bring you your favorite food, I love how you’re so curious about my work and projects even though you’re not even a science major.” Lucien’s chuckles caused you to shake into his arms surrounding you.

You bit you lip while hearing all the things he had to say about you, slowly cheering up and forgetting the heaviness in your chest.

“Y/N… I’m not sure what caused you to feel like this but… Let me remind you just how much I love you and how much you mean to me… I know I’m not able to solve all the things happening inside that little head of yours,” he bumped lightly your forehead with his index finger in a playful tone. “but I want to be beside you through all the process, from the beginning and until the very end, I want to be with you.”

You raised your face from his chest with shyness, getting your eyes up until they were on his. You could not ignore all the love his eyes were spilling, you felt almost hypnotized by looking at them.

“…So… Will you let me love you until the very end…?”

His face leaned closer to yours as he spoke, waiting for a response from you -either physical or verbal-, so he could finally give in and close the space between you two.

You nodded, not sure if your voice would be ready to talk again, but you knew it was better if you externalized your feelings with words:

“Yes… I want to love you too until the very end… Lucien. Thank you.”

The black-haired man with his face still just a few inches away from yours, smiled with relief and love as he leaned forward and, instead of placing the kiss in your lips you were expecting, he landed his lips softly on your cheek.

“I love you, Y/N.” He whispered in your ears, tightening his embrace.

#mlqc #mlqc lucien #mr love queens choice #mr love queens choice lucien #lucien #evol x producer #love x producer #mlqc lucien x reader #angst #fluff #otome games #mlqc simon #mlqc x reader #lucien x reader #mr love queen's choice x reader

[wallwriterstuff]

Thunderstorms ||Jasper Hale x Reader||

This one was requested by @deathaffection666 and after some umming and ahhing I finally came up with an idea. I hope you enjoy :)

Words: 2420 

Warnings: A little angsty near the start, implied PTSD, but it ends nice and fluffy. 

Summary: Jasper has never liked thunderstorms, they don’t bring anything good with them, so when the storms start raging in his head you hold him up to make sure he doesn’t drown in them. 

The Olympic Peninsula was said to be one of the wettest places in the continental US. Cold and grey, the sun was such a rarity that it sent humans flocking into green spaces, hands outstretched as if they could grasp the golden rays and hoard them for their own personal use when the rainy days came again. They always came far sooner than any of those humans would have liked; it was the one thing he still had in common with them. Jasper didn’t clamour to be in the sunlight of course but he relished in the days it did come, for they were days of intense relief, relief only Edward could half understand. He saw but he never felt, had no true comprehension of just what sunny days meant to Jasper.

Sunny days meant days at home with his family, where there were no humans to make his throat burn with thirst and bitter rage. Better yet, they sometimes meant hunting to, where he could douse the flames and keep them gone for longer without human interference stoking the fire once more. Sunny days meant the freedom to be himself at home since he didn’t have to be so tightly wound. There was no more constant watching of his surroundings, no lingering tension as he scanned for exits and tried not to exert too much strength onto school equipment, no last second changes in direction as an avoidance tactic or listening to the irritating whispers of those high schoolers who spoke in hushed whispers of his oddness.

I am odd, more different than you will ever perceive until it’s far, far too late…

There was no caging the beast inside of him on sunny days, because these were the rare occasions that the beast felt tamed. He didn’t dislike the overcast gloom that constantly hung over Forks, per say, on the contrary it gave him great freedom of movement compared to the half life he’d lived in the shadows of other cities in other states. The gloom was welcome, even a light drizzle was since it dampened human scents and had them scurrying for their homes, keeping them far off of his radar and lessening his temptation to devour them. No, no Jasper longed for these sunny days to keep away what came after. Sunny days were almost always followed by a thunderstorm or two, and they were torturous in their own way to him.

He had been able to taste it in the air since early that morning, the damp and stagnant smell of water rolling in on the clouds above. The wind had picked up just a little, shifting from the gentle breeze of yesterday into a more ferocious gust today, one that nipped at soft flesh and riddled it with goose bumps. The sky had darkened gradually, more cloud cover coming over and weaving together to form armour above the Earth that refused to let the smallest drop of sunlight through. It had all set him on edge before the day had even really started, the crackling feeling of lightning dancing on the gusts of wind that were undeterred by their failure to permeate his skin making him grind his teeth so hard he was surprised he had any left.

You knew of course. Your relationship with Jasper had built steadily, slowly, but in all the time you’d known him you had built a policy of honesty between you both. It was an unspoken rule that you never lied to one another, and over the decades that you had passed together that honesty had brought up stories you were sure he’d never tell anyone else. If there was anything to know about Jasper Hale you knew it and vice versa, you simply didn’t see the need for secrets, so when the first drops of rain fell onto perpetually sodden earth, you knew where his mind took him. Vampirism had its perks, but sometimes the enhanced senses were more of a curse than a blessing.

Jasper was rigid by the window of your shared bedroom, a place he had retreated to the moment he had tasted the lightning in the wind. With his arms folded over his chest, he stared out at the forest through unseeing eyes, the golden irises already being taken over by black, like ink spreading across old parchment. His jaw clenched so hard you were surprised it didn’t crack, his expression twisting as the rain came down in first a few drops, then in sheets. Gallons poured from the sky, mother nature openly weeping for the state of the world in this quiet, private corner of Washington state. His fingers curled into fists, nostrils flaring. The problem with thunderstorms is they were strong in such heightened senses, and when you hated them, having them take over your every sense was like an invasion you were too powerless to fight.

Every raindrop that shattered against the soil was a clattering, ricocheting gunshot vollied across a battlefield straight into his ears. Where lightning struck and scorched the ground, the faintest smell of smoke was a shell that had exploded amongst comrades too far away for him to reach. The rain that spun in dizzying patterns on strong winds blurred his vision, shadows moving erratically in his line of sight, enemies coming to get him and all he held dear. Jasper had spent many a thunderous night staring from the rooftop barn of Maria’s stronghold reflecting on his days as a soldier, on what was right and what was wrong, and as with all things the more you think of them the more easily they are called to mind. Jasper had associated thunderstorms with war ever since, and to his scarred heart war was a painful reminder of every shameful thing he had ever done.

As if he needed any of that! He didn’t need the gut-wrenching anxiety or the shame or the guilt, or the fear. He had enough frustration in his day to day life, watching his adopting siblings’ swan about with restraint he could only dream of while he felt the disgust and trepidation others felt towards him. They all revered his family, oh how the masses adored the pretty and polite teenagers that they longed to be but be nowhere near, but him? Nobody had ever felt anything good about him until you came along, and you always came, especially when the storms began raging in his head. You were distinct, unique. You could be lost in a crowd of a million and one people and Jasper would always find his way to you. You were his lighthouse on stormy nights like this.

His body tensed as your hands slid around his waist, and up his abdomen, but some distant part of his brain recognised the gentle touch as your own. Then came your lips, soft and sweet against the back of his shoulder, moving upward slowly to the nape of his neck as you squeezed him back against your body.

“Stay with me.” You whispered. Jasper swallowed back the venom that had pooled in his mouth without his knowing, the dark thoughts bringing forth his darkest nature. Hesitantly, he unfolded his arms and placed a single hand over one of yours, feeling the smooth skin and the cold ridge of metal that graced your ring finger.

“It’s loud.” He ground out through clenched teeth. The hand he wasn’t holding drifted up into his hair, setting off every instinct he had. They’re going for your head, they’re going for your head, they’re going for your head. He stayed frozen in place, breathing in and out evenly through his nose in the hopes your sweet scent would overwhelm the dampness of the storm, those muddy battlefields beyond the glass slick with rain and blood and venom.

“Then let’s make it quieter.” You suggested lightly, hand carding through his hair rhythmically. Jasper leaned into your touch, the soothing feeling a complete contrast to his agitated mind. He welcomed it, embraced you whole heartedly as your scent made his head swim a bit, his thoughts wavering. When you pulled, he followed, body turning away from the window so all he could see was you. His vision was filled with your gentle smile, your liquid gold eyes so full of love it almost hurt his heart. With his focus on you it was easier to tune into your emotions to, the calm adoration and quiet confidence that this moment would pass and peace would be restored. They washed over him like waves gently lapping at the shore, ebbing and flowing, pulling him out of the darkness and into you.

It took him a few moments to realise you’d lead him to the family bathroom. It was right in the centre of the house and given the private nature of the activities that occurred in such a room, the windows were smaller here. You’d sealed them shut, and steam had clouded them over, steam that rose from a bathtub full of bubbles. Jasper blinked, eyes flickering about the room to the lamps dragged in on extension cords that cast soft, warm light over the porcelain and tasteful grey tile. No candles, no reminders of the fires he’d lit with innocent people as kindling. The room smelled floral, not a sour note in the air to be found, and the radio you cherished for it’s retro look was playing the gentle, plucking guitar melodies he loved to listen to in his spare time.

You had already taken three of his five senses back, so when you began to undress him Jasper let you take a fourth to – touch. Your fingertips idly caressed his skin, brushing sometimes on accident, sometimes on purpose, against him as you worked buttons free of holes and pushed the fabric to the floor. He focused in on the feel of your hands, soft and warm against his own marble flesh as they glided over his pectorals up, up, up towards his jaw. With his face cupped in your hands he was helpless to do anything but lean in when you pulled his mouth to your own, a soft, sweet kiss lingering on his lips just briefly before you pulled back again with a smile, brushing your thumb over his lower lip and inclining your head to the water waiting for you both.

“You’re wearing one too many layers for a bath, sugar.” He murmured, not taking his eyes off of you yet as he lowered himself into the water. It was like velvet against his skin and he knew you must have used the fancy bath oils Emmet held so dear for this. He made a quiet vow to protect you from his wrath later. Your only answer was a smile, and with a few quick movements you stripped yourself down for his hungry eyes only and settled yourself behind him in the tub.

It’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a trap, they’re coming at you from behind…

He drew in a deep lungful of air, your scent mixing pleasantly with all the oils and soaps in the bubbles surrounding him. Your hands cupped water and poured it over his shoulders, massaging gently as you went down either side of his spine, tugging him back so he was forced to rest against you. Your lips played along the column of this throat as he stared up at the ceiling, the soft lighting leaving no room for shadows in any corner of the room.

“Done a lot of things that I’m not so proud of took a lot of turns, that turned out wrong, it’s a worn-out song.” Your voice was like honey in his ears, drowning out the rain he could still faintly hear pounding outside with your singing. Jasper willed himself to close his eyes, leaning his head back against your shoulder and letting himself sink into your strong embrace. With his head a little clearer it was easier to train his senses one by one on the room you’d set up, focus in on one thing at a time to chase away the last vestiges of panic that hadn’t had a chance to settle and burrow in thanks to your quick actions.

“I will survive, I will endure, when the goings rough, you can be sure.” He sang along quietly to the radio, feeling you smile against his skin as you kissed his temple.

“Letting go of my bad habits, hanging onto hope, for better times, I’ll be fine.” You continued, pouring some shampoo into your hand to massage it into his scalp. Jasper hummed, focusing on the feel of your fingers in his hair, the lingering smell of coconut.

“Tear drops, no one sees but me, I won’t stop, I’ll always believe.” Jasper rumbled, smiling slightly as you used your hand to shield his eyes from the soap washing away from his hair. You were everywhere with him all at once, your scent in the air, your body against his. You were real, and solid. You were hope incarnate. When the darkness came for him you pulled him back into the light and renewed his faith in himself. Your gentle actions and the outpouring of love and devotion and all things good he felt from you would always keep him buoyant when the storm threatened to drown him again.

“I’ll tough it out, I won’t give in, when I’m knocked down, I’ll get up again.” You sang along, nuzzling his wet hair. Jasper squeezed your thighs that rested either side of his waist, turning his head slightly to lean into you. You were his everything in moments like this, and he wished they never had to end, that reality never had to seep in like it did.

He wanted more for you, to be better for you, to live a life where he was free of the pain he carried so it would stop hurting you to. He could see that future, so tantalisingly close yet so far away when his demons came back to haunt him.  He would be better tomorrow, when the storm had passed, but for tonight he was safe in your embrace to dream the beautiful dream of a life without struggle, where you could both just be, together and whole and happy.

So, he sang the last line of the chorus to you as a vow, a promise that better times were coming for you both.

“As long as my dreams alive, I will survive.”

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #oneshot #jasper hale #jasper hale x reader #emmet cullen #the cullens #request #yes I did steal the song from Holes but it was a good song #mentions of maria #tw ptsd

[morningfears]

Vodka Pineapple

Rating: M | There’s smut, mentions of drowning, and other adult themes and situations.

Summary: Evie Porter wanted a normal summer. She wanted to be a twenty-something and enjoy bonfires on the beach and have a fling with a boy that would break her heart. Calum Hood wanted to distract himself from his past. They were a match made in heaven until his past caught up with them and they both did what they do best; run. (Mentions of drowning, swearing, anxiety, etc.)

Word Count: 34.2k (....I know. I’m very sorry I am who I am)

Golden hour had a reputation for being the most beautiful time of day. For a brief period, just when the world needed it the most, everything was bathed in beautiful golden. The light bounced off everything it touched and offered a glimmer of hope; it offered a promise of a good day ahead for some and a better tomorrow for others. It was inspiring, the muse for everyone from artists to athletes, and Evie Porter was not immune to its charm. She rarely found herself awake so near sunrise and was rarely outdoors so near sunset but with the end of the semester came the freedom to do as she pleased and nothing sounded more appealing than a skate at sunrise.

She listened to the waves crash against the shore and pulled in deep breaths of salty sea air as she sat on a bench near the boardwalk, lacing up her roller skates. It was quiet, save for the sounds of the ocean, as the small town had yet to wake for the day and with every exhale, she felt a bit more tension leave her body. It was almost surreal, having the chance to spend her summer in the small seaside town she’d frequented as a child rather than in crowded Los Angeles, but she was grateful for the opportunity as she soaked in the atmosphere.

The town was small, infinitely smaller than Los Angeles, and didn’t experience a boom in tourism until July - according to her cousin and housemate for the summer, Dahlia, anyway. There were no pushy tourists crowding the boardwalk yet and she could hear herself think as she reveled in the solitude. She had always loved the beach, particularly the one that sprawled in front of her, and only truly felt at peace when she could lose herself in it completely.

She remained still for a moment, long enough to exhale the last bit of tension and shake off the sleep that lingered in her limbs, before she stood from the bench and stepped onto the sidewalk.

Her skates were brand new, a neon green with pink laces and pink wheels embedded with silver glitter, and she was excited to break them in in the same place she’d learned to skate. Evie’s fondest childhood memories were of scraped knees and bruised shins, of hand-me-down skates and clinging to Dahlia as she guided her down the boardwalk, and she felt an easy smile quirk her lips as she slowly began gliding along the boardwalk.

The boardwalk was simultaneously exactly the same and wholly different than she remembered. There were more cracks and splinters, obvious signs of age, but she found herself navigating the changes with ease as she skirted around a pair of joggers. The wind blew through her hair, the salty air leaving it a tangle of beachy waves whipping behind her, and she breathed a sigh of relief at the freedom she felt. For the first time in months she felt at home, comfortable and calm, and it was wonderful.

Though Evie loved learning and had, once upon a time, been excited for college, the journey was far more arduous than she’d expected. Her parents were footing the bill and while she was grateful to be getting a debt-free education, she was angry at the terms her degree came with. Her parents had both chosen law, both attorneys that loved their jobs more than their children, and demanded she follow in their footsteps like brother had before her. She was given the choice of taking on a staggering amount of debt to follow her dreams or going into a field she hated with a guaranteed job waiting for her when she graduated.

She chose the latter.

With every class she took and every internship hour her parents signed her up for, Evie regretted her choice more. She loved some of the clients, she enjoyed hearing their stories and spending time with people she ordinarily wouldn’t cross paths with and being in a position to help them, but she hated the legal system and would rather learn what made people tick, not the barriers that kept them living in fear. She appreciated the legal system for what it was, a necessary sector of education and society, but she had no desire to spend her life in the field.

She had never really been given a chance to find her own path in life, her parents had always pushed her down the one they’d taken, and she carried the resentment around like a weight tied to her ankle. It lingered in the back of her throat, bitter and overwhelming as she tried to live a life she could be proud of, and only disappeared when she found a rare moment of free time to put on her skates and tune out the world.

Evie took up skating when she was a young child, desperate to emulate Dahlia in any way she could, and kept up with it even after she quit. She had never been naturally gifted at anything athletic - she wasn’t clumsy, just not athletic - so she was surprised to find herself a natural at skating. She felt at home gliding down the boardwalk, the wind in her hair and the sun warming her skin, and realized that any hard feelings she’d been bottling up seemed to trail behind her and disappear with each rotation of her skates.

When she was given the chance to have the summer to herself - her parents were participating in Lawyers Without Borders and had been too distracted to place her in a volunteer role for the summer - she packed her belongings and drove to Dahlia’s the moment she finished her final exam. She wanted a normal summer, one where she could forget her parents and the future she dreaded, and was determined to get it. 

All she wanted was to relax, to sleep and skate and forget. Just for a summer.

Evie willed all thoughts of her parents, all thoughts of anything but a happy summer, out of her head as she brushed past a small family on an early morning walk. She didn’t show off often even though she was a skilled skater, but as she heard the coos of interest from the children, she took the opportunity to do exactly that. The skates were new, still a little stiff and not quite comfortable enough for her to do her best tricks, but she pulled off a spin and skated backward for a moment, just long enough to impress the children. She grinned at them, bright and sunny as her mood lifted and the semi-formed dark cloud above her head dissipated, and sent them a wave before turning back the correct way and continuing down the boardwalk.

She slowed and skated slower than normal as she drew closer to the stretch of beach that was always the most quiet, taking in the sight of the sand and the deep blue of the ocean. It was usually deserted, empty of beachgoers and the perfect spot for her to take a moment to rest, but that particular morning she spotted surfers at the edge of the water, pulling on their wetsuits and laughing happily amongst themselves. It was nice seeing a group of people around her age as most of the residents of the town were either old enough to be her grandparents or middle-aged with two or three children and no interest in befriending a college student. She made a mental note to ask Dahlia about them when she returned home and kept an eye on them for a moment too long as she contemplated how difficult it would be to learn to surf.

As she watched a tall blonde man toss a bottle of water at his dark-haired friend, his broad shoulders shaking visibly with laughter as the friend began chasing him down the beach, she failed to notice the body in front of her until it was too late. Evie slammed into the man’s back, her hands slotting between them in an effort to cushion the impact but only serving to shove him to the ground. She landed on her knees beside him, nothing at all like the practiced falls she’d learned in an effort to minimize her injuries, and hissed at the sting of sand and gravel embedding into her skin.

She felt a sharp pain in the palms of her hands and her knees, both of which hit the ground and were likely scraped, but paid it no mind as she scrambled to check on the victim of her carelessness. He was clearly headed to join the group of surfers, his surfboard had clattered into the sand off to the side and was halfway into a wetsuit, and she prayed they hadn’t heard the commotion as she steadied herself on her toe stops and offered the man her hand.

She’d fallen and hurt herself plenty of times as she learned. She’d bumped into friends as they took up the hobby alongside her. She’d shoved into people when she played roller derby. But she’d never accidentally bowled over a pedestrian and she felt a wave of panic and embarrassment wash over her as he grabbed her hand and stood from the boardwalk.

“I’m so sorry. The boardwalk’s been dead so I wasn’t paying attention. Fuck, are you okay?” Her words were rushed, her tone hinting at the panic she felt as he blinked from the shock of hitting the ground, but the sincerity of her concern was evident as her eyes raked over him in search of any obvious injuries. Her cheeks were on fire, a brilliant scarlet that creeped down her neck and blossomed over her chest, and she resisted the urge to bring her hand up and cover it.

The man, who likely would’ve stood a foot taller than her had she not been wearing her skates, nodded as he regained his footing and brushed some of the sand from his bare chest. “I’m okay,” he assured her, pausing in his assurance to reach for his board, “only thing hurt is my pride.”

Evie took a moment to revel in his presence. His voice was raspy and warm, he sounded like he’d just woken up, and she was certain that she could listen to him speak all day. There was a slight amusement hidden behind his words, as if he found the situation funny, and Evie felt her eyebrows furrow in confusion as she raked her eyes over him once more. He was beautiful, that much was obvious. He looked to be about her age, a twenty-something in the throes of young adulthood. His skin was golden, even more so in the shifting golden hour light, and covered in black ink. His short, bleached hair was a stark contrast against his skin and his deep brown eyes held a warmth that surprised her.

He looked uninjured, just slightly thrown off by the encounter, and Evie was thankful. “I’m sorry,” she repeated, her lips twisting into a grimace as she shifted on her skates and ignored the burning desire to check on her own injuries. She dug her toe stops into the ground and willed herself not to shrink away from the man’s scrutinizing gaze, even though she desperately wanted to.

“It’s okay.” He studied her for a moment. His gaze felt heavy on her skin, an acute pressure she was all too aware of, as his eyebrows lifted and his lips quirked in the corners in amused curiosity when he took in the sight of her skates and the knee high socks, shorts, and tank top combination she wore with them. 

She knew what she looked like - her friends enjoyed teasing her for leaning so heavily into the aesthetic - and she’d never really been self-conscious about her wardrobe before. However, the way he looked at her left her conflicted; she didn’t know if she wanted to stand a little taller and give a flirty wink at the way his eyes lingered on her exposed legs or shrink away in embarrassment in case he thought she looked like a character from a bad eighties film. There was a reason for the uniform, a purpose for it all, but he didn’t need to know that.

He was silent for a beat, taking in the sight of her, before he met her gaze. His brown eyes shone with mirth and she felt her confusion deepen as he said, “I’m guessing you’re either a really good skater or this is a new hobby.”

“Sometimes I think I can skate better than I can walk,” she confirmed, her confusion dissipating as a a wry smile quirked her lips. She dug her toe stop into the boardwalk to hold her balance and offered a half-hearted shrug. “I just got distracted.”

“Happens to the best of us.” They fell into an awkward silence, neither knowing what to say - or if there even was more to say. The pair of them looked away from one another, both studying the group of surfers lingering near the water’s edge, and Evie opened her mouth to apologize again when the man broke the stalemate first. He turned his attention back to her, fixed her with that amused gaze once more, and said, “I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

“I doubt you have. I live in LA and haven’t been here in years. I’m just visiting my cousin for the summer.” She paused, contemplating giving the stranger her name. She wanted to enjoy her summer and though she knew Dahlia would provide adequate entertainment, a few other friends wouldn’t hurt. Especially a friend as attractive as this one. And, at the end of the day, she knew that she didn’t want to spend the summer cooped up in Dahlia’s house or skating alone. “I’m Evie,” she introduced, offering her hand once more.

“Calum.” He returned the gesture, capturing her hand in his, and she bit back a sigh upon feeling the warmth of his skin against hers. It was pleasant, fitting of the warmth that he seemed to radiate across the board, and pulled a smile from her as the embrace lingered a second too long. “Nice to meet you.”

The moment Calum released her hand, a shout of his name broke the spell they’d been under. The world around them suddenly came back into focus, the bustle of the slowly awakening city evident as a few people skirted around them, and Evie felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment once more. She glanced at the group of surfers who were now openly staring at the pair of them, offering a tight lipped smile, before she turned back to Calum.

“Nice to meet you, too. I’m sorry, again.” She knew that she’d apologized enough, no damage had been done, but it wasn’t often that she took out strangers in the middle of a skate. She was embarrassed, more so because he was an attractive stranger, and hoped her cheeks weren’t as flushed as she imagined them to be when she offered final smile and turned to return to her car, her desire to finish the skate losing to her desire to not run into him again on the skate back. “See you around, Calum,” she called, sending him a wave as she completed a spin to show that she was capable of skating.

She didn’t miss the amused grin that lifted the corners of his lips or the way the sunlight made his eyes gleam. He looked beautiful, waving her off, and she had to turn away to keep her focus. She barely heard him but over the sound of her wheels against the boardwalk, his call of “See you around, Evie,” hit her ears and sent a small thrill jolting through her.

**********

“You know, it’s really not as funny as you’re making it out to be.”

Evie sat at one of the high tables near the counter of Flower, the bakery that Dahlia owned, and rested her chin her palm - thankfully it wasn’t scraped, just sore - as she watched her knead a batch of dough for rosemary bread. She hadn’t planned on telling her cousin anything about the incident, she was just going to mention that she’d seen a group of surfers near the water and was curious about them, but Dahlia spotted the scrapes on her knees and chided her for not wearing kneepads before interrogating her as to how exactly she’d fallen. It wasn’t like Evie to fall, she knew that much, and it was even less like her to take other people down along the way. She could tell that Evie still felt embarrassed by the accident - every time she bent her knees, the stinging reminded her of quite possibly the worst first impression she’d ever made - and it was only made worse by the fact that Dahlia knew Calum all too well.

Evie was surprised to learn that not only was Dahlia dating one of the surfers - Ashton, the one who’d been hit with the water bottle and chased the blonde down the beach, if she’d seen them right - she was friends with them all. She didn’t have to ask about the group because when she mentioned the name Calum, Dahlia told her all about them. And when she realized that Calum was the one Evie had bowled over, she decided that she no longer felt sympathy for either of them; she felt pure, unadulterated amusement.

“I don’t get a lot of amusement, kid.” Evie rolled her eyes at the nickname, she was only two years younger than Dahlia’s twenty-three, but didn’t interrupt as she waved a flour covered hand. “It’s not that funny but you have to admit, it’s kind of funny.” This time, Evie did scoff aloud and Dahlia grinned brightly at her. “Not only did you completely eat it, cause enough for amusement as long as you’re not hurt, you took Calum down with you. Ten bucks says he’s going to tease you for it when he realizes you’re my cousin.”

Evie huffed an annoyed sigh, pursing her lips and blowing a piece of hair from in front of her nose, before she rolled her eyes. “Can we just not tell him?” she asked as she stood from her stool and winced at the stiffness in her knees. “I mean, can I just disappear when you hang out with them? I can grab my skates and go bowl over another surfer or five while you have fun like a normal person.” She didn’t mean it, not really, but the thought was tempting. 

Dahlia, who’d finished kneading and was dropping the dough into a bowl to proof, laughed. It was a beautiful sound, a crystal clear laugh that belonged to a Disney princess, and Evie was reminded of why she wanted so badly to be like her cousin. Everything about her was carefree and beautiful, graceful and perfect even though Evie’s parents called Dahlia rough around the edges. She was unapologetic in her existence, living her dream proudly and doing as she pleased, and Evie envied her for it.

“That’s going to be tough seeing as your skates are at home and they’re all currently there, setting up a welcome party for you.” Dahlia spoke nonchalantly, as if she hadn’t just dropped a bombshell on Evie, and watched out of the corner of her eye as she stopped her perusal of the display case and stared at her. Her mouth opened and closed without sound for a long moment before she stopped, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes, and Dahlia had to admit that it was amusing. She felt bad, getting so much joy out of watching one of the most outwardly put together people she knew have such a rough day, but she she knew that Evie wouldn’t hold it against her.

“It’s just going to be a few people, E,” Dahlia assured her, wiping her hands on the towel she kept in her apron pocket. “Don’t worry about it. And, seriously, don’t worry about bumping into Calum. If anyone will laugh it off, it’s him. He won’t be a dick about it and if you don’t vibe with the teasing, he’ll leave you alone. The guys are really great, I promise.”

Evie trusted Dahlia’s judge of character more than anyone else she’d ever known. Her cousin was good at reading people - better than she was - so if she vouched for Calum’s character, he had to be at least somewhat decent. And though Evie still felt the sting of embarrassment every time her knees ached, she wanted to let loose. She wanted a normal summer and a normal summer included parties and pretty surfer boys, mindless fun and long skates and sunburns; not internships in stuffy law firms and worrying about an impression she’d made on a guy she likely wouldn’t see again in three months time.

“Fine,” she huffed, her nails tapping against the pastry case as she lifted her head and stood on her tiptoes to look Dahlia square in the face. “But I reserve the right to go sulk in my room at any point if any of them are assholes.”

Dahlia, used to Evie’s antics after years of spending summers together, shook her head in good-natured exasperation. She knew that Evie was just nervous, it wasn’t often that she interacted with people outside of her classes or internships or tight-knit group of roller girls - people that Dahlia knew were very different than her own friends - and she didn’t blame her for putting up her guard. Instead of telling her to live a little, she just acknowledged, “You wouldn’t be Evie if you didn’t.”

Evie’s mouth popped open in a mock outrage as she watched her round the counter with a chocolate chunk cookie in hand. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked as she took the cookie from Dahlia’s outstretched hand and promptly bit into it. “Oh, the salt was a good call on these.”

Dahlia grinned at the compliment, glad that the addition of salt was appreciated by the harshest cookie taste tester she knew. “I know. Ten times better than the old ones.” She fell silent then, hesitating for a beat as she watched Evie eat her cookie, before she shook her head and nudged her shoulder. “Look, you have a habit of hiding when things get tough. You can’t do that in the real world, kid. If one of the guy’s is an asshole, dump a beer on his head. Fuck, go grab your skates and use him as target practice. Just… just try not to run, even if you want to.”

Evie exhaled a harsh breath. Although she knew it wasn’t Dahlia’s intention, she felt like a child being scolded. However, she knew that her cousin was right. When things got tough, Evie had a history of running away - she’d run from Los Angeles to spend the summer with Dahlia when the pressure to be perfect got to be too much - and she hated to admit it. She liked simplicity, she liked for the things she could control to be easy and normal, and didn’t want to invite complications into her life. If she could avoid problems, she would. But for Dahlia’s sake, she knew that she had to at least try.

She was incapable of telling her cousin no so she nodded her reluctant agreement. “Fine. But if you see me dump a beer on one of your friends, you can’t yell at me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she teased - and she wouldn’t. Just as Evie couldn’t say no to her, Dahlia couldn’t ever be mad at Evie. They were opposite sides of the same coin, different but similar enough to be as close as they were, and both wanted the best for the other. And Dahlia deemed that for Evie, the best would be indulging in a ridiculous party hosted by her friends. “Come and help me clean up. Ash just texted me. They’re almost done setting up so we can head home.”

Evie was nervous. She was nervous to meet Dahlia’s friends - ones she automatically assumed were much cooler than her own - and nervous to meet her boyfriend. She was nervous to have to spend the night making new friends. But, most of all, she was nervous to see Calum again, especially after she’d made such an idiot out of herself that morning. He was beautiful, stunningly so, and she didn’t want to come off as just Dahlia’s dorky younger cousin. She’d felt something - a spark of attraction, a few errant butterflies taking flight in the pit of her stomach, the last shreds of her sanity leaving when he smiled at her - and was nervous to see how things would play out.

She wanted to get to know him, to let something unfold naturally, but she also wanted him to see her as her ideal self. She wanted him to see her as she portrayed herself to the world - as confident and sleek, sure of herself and put together - rather than for what she truly was; an insecure, unsure girl who just wanted someone to love her despite her flaws.

But she deemed a reality check necessary. At the end of the day, she knew his opinion didn’t matter much. She’d say goodbye in August and that would be that. However, that didn’t stop her from agonizing over what he could possibly think of her as she began helping Dahlia wipe down tables so they could get home to the party.

*************

Calum stood behind the makeshift bar he and Ashton had pulled together in Dahlia’s backyard. It was a set of old card tables, barely big enough to fit all the alcohol and barely stable enough to stand on their own - Calum actually worried they might collapse if anyone got too close - but the setup did the trick. It got him out of the cramped kitchen and gave him at least a little room to work while he mixed a drink for himself. He knew that he would be stationed there half the night and while he didn’t normally mind - it was his profession, after all - he wasn’t exactly thrilled to be spending his night off doing his job without the benefit of a paycheck.

He’d taken the night off weeks ago, when Dahlia first mentioned wanting to throw a welcome party for her cousin, and was glad to be spending the night away from the bar. With schools dismissing for summer, more and more college students who’d moved away were returning home while tourists were slowly starting to trickle in. Combined with his regulars, Calum was already tired of putting on his best customer service smile and just wanted to spend the night with his friends. He wanted to forget that anything outside of Dahlia’s backyard existed and hoped that his night would be better than his morning had been.

He had gone to bed around four but found himself unable to sleep with the yard work happening outside his window and the constant buzzing of his phone. Between Luke, Ashton, and Michael, he swore he received at least a hundred messages, begging him to come surf with them, and had only relented when he realized they wouldn’t give up, even if he turned off his phone.

He was sleep deprived, still annoyed from the night before, and had only been more annoyed when he was knocked off his feet by a girl on roller skates. He didn’t realize that the girl who’d bowled him over was Dahlia’s cousin until the guys asked him who he was talking to. In his sleep deprived state, he’d just assumed it was a coincidence, another girl named Evie from Los Angeles, because she looked nothing like her cousin and didn’t exactly fit the image he’d crafted in his mind after hearing her description.

Dahlia was tall and graceful with short blonde hair, bright blue, doe eyes and an openness about her that warmed everyone she met. She was bubbly and fond of the same things Ashton loved - essential oils, yoga, green juice that couldn’t possibly be made to taste good - while she described her cousin as anything but. 

Dahlia warned them all that Evie was more reserved, able to put on a polite face and make conversation but more than happy to be alone with her thoughts. She preferred the outdoors and tight-knit groups of friends over parties and packed houses - part of why Calum was hesitant to help with the party; he knew what it was like to be dragged to social events and feel out of place - and was apparently studying to become a lawyer. Her family was well off, Dahlia mentioned not getting along with them at all, and he pictured someone who looked like Dahlia but had the attitude of a spoiled LA brat.

But he’d been warned that Evie would be everything but what he expected and Dahlia hadn’t exactly been wrong. 

Where Dahlia was golden hour, Evie was late evening with deep brown hair that hit her ribcage and pensive, guarded brown eyes that glittered gold in the early morning sunlight. Evie was smaller in stature, even in her skates Calum was taller than her, but she filled out the cliche skate outfit she wore nicely. From Dahlia’s description, he’d imagined her to be a runner or a volleyball player, maybe even a swimmer, but never a skater. However, he could tell that she dedicated time to her hobby as he’d spotted few bruises and bright white scars marring her otherwise flawless skin. 

He couldn’t have imagined his first meeting with her would go the way it did. He certainly didn’t expect to just run into her, literally, as she skated down the boardwalk and he didn’t connect the dots until Ashton squinted at her retreating figure and declared with a certainty that Calum questioned at the time that that was, in fact, Dahlia’s cousin. 

He didn’t know her, not yet, but he could already tell she was nothing like he’d been expecting.

“What time are they supposed to be here?”

Calum was broken out of his reverie by Luke’s question and lifted his head to watch his friend attempt to decorate the backyard. Luke was stood atop a step ladder, blue eyes narrowed in concentration as he tried to untangle a mess of string lights without undoing the work he’d already done - half the strand was already taped to the side of the house and looped over parts of the fence. Michael stood behind him with a red cup in one hand and his cellphone in the other, occasionally lifting his head to make sure Luke hadn’t fallen. Neither of them looked like they knew what they were doing - Calum was, frankly, surprised they hadn’t given up and gone inside to eat the cookies Dahlia left for them yet - and the image made him shake his head as he grabbed his cup and wandered across the yard to where they stood.

“Don’t fucking pull the lights, mate. You untangle them before you plug them in.” Ashton, who had been blowing up pool floats and tossing them into the water, glanced up from an inflatable slice of pizza and rolled his eyes as he watched Luke tug at a tangled mess of string lights. He looked exhausted, as he always did when attempting to wrangle his three best friends, and shook his head as Luke shot him a dirty look.

“Now you tell me,” Luke muttered, annoyed by the lack of direction from Ashton, as Michael and Calum laughed.

Ashton ignored Luke’s comment. Instead, he focused on the task at hand and answered Luke’s initial question. “Other people should start getting here soon. Dolly and Evie won’t be here until seven.”

Luke made a face at Ashton’s answer and Michael shook his head. The backyard was nearly ready but they still had a good bit of work to finish if they wanted it to look the way Dahlia - and Ashton - envisioned. Ashton was obviously not pleased with the job Luke was doing in the backyard and seemed to regret giving the job to him and Michael. However, it wasn’t as if he’d done it on purpose. They just grabbed the lights and started stringing them up around the backyard the moment they arrived and he hadn’t had the heart to tell them to stop he accepted their willingness to step in and help, however, Calum knew that his perfectionist of a friend wanted nothing more than to do it himself as they both surveyed the mess Luke and Michael had made.

Instead of chastising them as Calum knew he wanted to, Ashton shook his head once more and turned his attention to Calum. “You met her this morning. What’s she like?” When Calum blinked, only half paying attention to the question as he watched Luke knock himself off balance and flail his arms as he narrowly avoided falling from the ladder, Ashton rolled his eyes. “Evie. What’s she like?”

“Oh, Evie. Seems nice.”

He didn’t know what Ashton wanted him to say. He’d met her, sure, but it was a quick interaction that was over in a matter of moments. She crashed into him, apologized, and skated away. She’d been nice, polite, but it wasn’t as if he expected her to knock him to the ground and just leave without a word. Their interaction was brief and though he had thoughts based on the far off look in her eyes, in the way she seemed to revel in just skating alone without a care in the world and the embarrassment she felt at a simple mistake, he didn’t feel qualified to pass judgment.

The only judgement he did feel qualified to pass was that she was gorgeous.

“She’s cute.” Luke echoed Calum’s initial, unspoken impression as his legs wobbled. He stood on the top step of the step stool, arms stretched to reach a high enough place to hang the lights, and Calum was just waiting for him to topple off the stool and fall backward into the pool. “Is she single?”

Michael raised an eyebrow at Luke’s question and stared up at him, his hand extended with a roll of tape for Luke to grab. “How do you know she’s cute? She was too far away this morning. Your eyesight’s shit, dude.” He paused, his eyes narrowing and his head cocking to the side, before he added, “And aren’t you having a thing with that girl from the library?”

“Instagram.” When the backyard went silent at Luke’s nonchalant confession, he turned as best he could on the ladder and met the curious gazes of his friends. Michael stared at him with raised eyebrows and an unimpressed look on his face as Ashton and Calum bit back laughter at the pink that blossomed on his cheeks. “What? Dahlia showed me! I was curious. It’s not like I went stalking her online,” he defended as he returned his attention to the lights clinging to the side of the house.  “And Jen and I are just friends. She’s dating that girl who works at the tattoo shop on the pier.”

Calum rolled his eyes at Luke’s answer. He wasn’t surprised he’d gone snooping to figure out what Dahlia’s cousin looked like. Luke had had a crush on Dahlia when he first met her, before he realized she was Ashton’s girlfriend, and obviously hoped her cousin would be a close match in terms of looks. However, that wasn’t to say the rest of them had no interest in Evie at all.

They were all curious, anyone Dahlia spoke so highly of had to be someone worth getting to know - and they lived in a small town, new people were always interesting -, but unlike the others, Luke had taken the initiative to ask Dahlia more about her. He wasn’t content to wait where the others were. Calum wanted to get to know her, especially now that he knew what she looked like and felt a spark of attraction for her, but he didn’t want whatever information he got secondhand to influence his feelings about her. Instead, he wanted his opinion to form naturally.

Instead of joining their conversation and speculating about what she’d be like - they all had wildly different theories and it was almost amusing - Calum focused on gathering the bottles of alcohol Dahlia had purchased the day before. He set up his bar with a few extra bottles placed near the door so Dahlia wouldn’t have so many people venturing into her home before he set about choosing an appropriate playlist - a task he’d been assigned but knew Ashton would likely regret handing off to him.

And when all was said and done, he took a seat on one of the poolside chairs and sipped his drink as he waited for the guests to begin arriving.

It started slowly at first, a trickle of guests into Dahlia’s backyard all filing in one by one. He could recognize every face that entered, each was a close friend that Dahlia really wanted Evie to meet, and he felt at ease as he sat with Michael and his girlfriend, Crystal, as another friend recounted his trip to Vegas for a bachelor party. After that, the guests started arriving in droves.

People piled into the backyard, shoving through the gate two or three at a time, and Calum wasn’t sure if he genuinely didn’t know any of them or if he’d just already had too much to drink. It looked like every person in town under the age of thirty had flocked to Dahlia’s backyard and he was mildly impressed by her ability to draw so many people away from the only bar in town, even if it was just for one night.

Dahlia and Evie were the last guests to arrive and Calum was back behind the makeshift bar when they stepped through the sliding glass doors. He was just out of earshot, just far enough away to observe but not interact, but he could guess that the party wasn’t something Evie wanted. He watched as she hid halfway behind Dahlia and only offered polite smiles - and greetings, if he had to venture a guess - as the party cheered for her. She looked taken aback at how many people littered the backyard and Calum was willing to bet that Dahlia had severely played down the amount of people she expected.

He watched for a moment, still behind the bar as people took the drinks he’d pre-mixed, as Dahlia introduced Evie to Luke and Ashton. She looked happy to be meeting friends, he could tell that the smile she flashed them both was genuine, but she still looked overwhelmed beneath the grin she wore. Her cheeks were flushed pink, much as they had been when he met her, and the flush creeped down her neck to cover her chest.

The flush spread over her skin and Calum found himself studying her much closer than he intended. She looked cute, soft and sweet with her flushed skin and shining eyes, and it was a contrast to the mischief he saw when she skated away backward, just to prove she could. He was glad to note that she’d changed her clothes since their first meeting. Instead of the tank top, shorts, and knee high socks combination she’d skated in, she wore a light summer dress in a pretty blue that looked beautiful on her. She wore a pair of sandals that showed him just how small she was and he shook his head as he watched Luke bend down to hear her reply to something he said.

He didn’t know why he felt a tinge of annoyance as Luke crowded her, a smile on his lips and clearly undressing her with his eyes, but he did his best to swallow it as he observed her.  When he spotted her shifting her weight from foot to foot, a small sign of her anxiety, he began moving without much thought. He ignored the requests he was getting for this drink or that one as he reached for the vodka and pineapple juice Dahlia had purchased specifically for Evie. Her drink of choice was the easiest he’d mixed all night and it only took a minute for him to finish the drink and cross the backyard to where she stood.

He didn’t want to interrupt - he wasn’t really sure what he was doing, anyway; he was just responding to an overwhelming urge to make her comfortable - so he waited until Luke and Ashton were caught up in a conversation with Dahlia, all three of them turning their attention away from Evie for the time being, before he approached and offered her the cup. “You look like you could use this.”

Evie turned to him, surprised by his presence and the offer of a drink, and nearly refused. He could see it in the way she hesitated to take the cup and he realized how it must look, a strange guy offering her a drink, but when she met his eyes and he offered her a smile, she took the cup from his hand. “Thanks. I was going to come grab one when they let me leave,” she joked before her smile turned sheepish. “Sorry, again, for this morning. I just got a little distracted and didn’t realize anyone was crossing the boardwalk. I try not to make running over pedestrians a habit.”

Calum could tell that she still felt bad. She wasn’t quite able to look him in the eye for longer than a few seconds and he believed her when she said this was something that didn’t happen often. “It’s okay,” he assured her with the same smile he’d given her that morning. He was no longer sleep deprived, amused at the smallest things, but he found himself enjoying watching her cheeks flare red and her eyes drop to the ground.

Dahlia had warned them she was shy, a little reserved and quiet, and he could see it as he bit back the teasing jabs he wanted to make about giving her a bell to ring or asking her for a little warning before she pounced on him the next time. She sipped at her drink, her eyes roaming the backyard in an effort to avoid meeting his, and he hid his smile behind the rim of his cup. “You were good, skating away. How long have you been at it?”

Evie looked directly at him again and he noticed that she seemed surprised that he’d stuck around and even more surprised that he was asking her about her skating. He didn’t want to pry, not really, but he made a mental note to ask Dahlia about it later as he waited for her answer.

“I started when I was a kid. Eight, maybe nine?” She paused, considering exactly how long she’d been skating, and shrugged. “Dahlia’s the reason I got started.”

That surprised Calum. Dahlia did yoga with Ashton but other than that, he didn’t think she had ever even stepped foot in a gym. “Really? I can’t picture her as a skater.”

“She grew out of it. She took it up because it was cool, you know? California kid in a beach town, skating on the boardwalk; it was what everyone did and she wanted to fit in. I just wanted to be like her so I started skating, too. She grew out of it, I didn’t. I should, but it’s fun.” Evie shrugged off her explanation, a halfhearted gesture that showed Calum few people stopped to ask her about her hobby, and he struggled to hide his frown as he watched her down the rest of her drink in one go.

“If you enjoy it, keep at it. I think it’s cool.” 

“Thanks.” She looked genuinely appreciative, a warmth in her eyes that told him she was grateful for the compliment, and he nodded his acknowledgement. The conversation stalled, neither of them really knowing where to go from there, and Calum chalked it up to her discomfort at being thrust into such a large crowd and his inability to read her.

He didn’t want to make a snap judgement, she seemed quite good at contradicting his assumptions about her, so he he consciously tuned out the declarations his brain wanted him to make. Instead, he wanted to add more, tell her that she should keep skating regardless of what other people thought about it as long as she enjoyed it, but before he could open his mouth, Dahlia turned her attention back to her cousin and grinned as she caught sight of Calum.

“Cal! You’re not bullying my cousin, are you?” She fixed him with a playful glare, a mock suspicion that told him she knew about the incident, and laughed when he rolled his eyes. She was the most willing to give him hell, to call him out if he was being a little snappy or overstepping in the pursuit of teasing his friends, and he knew that beneath her humor was a genuine question so he shook his head.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Dolly. Why would I bully anyone else when Luke is right there?” Luke, who had tuned into the conversation and stood too close to Evie for Calum’s liking, shot him an unimpressed glare and held up his middle finger in response. Calum just grinned in response, as he usually did, before he returned his attention to Evie. She giggled at the exchange, a genuinely amused smile quirked her lips, and he felt a strange sense of accomplishment as he met her eyes.  “D’you want another?” he asked, gesturing to the empty cup in her hand. 

“I’m okay. Thank you, though. And thanks for this one. Vodka pineapple is my favorite.”

Calum almost admitted that Dahlia told him. He opened his mouth to tell Evie that her cousin had bought too much vodka - and endured too much teasing from Calum and Ashton for the amount of vodka she purchased - just for her but Dahlia spoke before he could. “He’s a bartender,” Dahlia told her, a sly smile in Calum’s direction that he didn’t quite understand, “he’s got that sixth sense of knowing what alcohol you need.”

Evie didn’t look like she believed her - Calum knew he wouldn’t have - but she played along and nodded appreciatively. “It’s a good sense to have. Arguably the most useful of them.” She met his eyes, both of them silently agreeing that whatever Dahlia was attempting to do was not working, and he couldn’t hide his smile as they remained like that for a long moment.

It was just a small joke, a little jab to poke fun at her cousin’s exaggeration, but it was something and it intrigued him. He would’ve been content waiting to hear more, spending the night getting to know her instead of making drinks for insufferable drunks he wouldn’t get compensated for, but Michael’s shout of his name drew his attention back to the abandoned bar. 

He rolled his eyes at Michael’s repeated shouting and turned his eyes back to Evie for a beat. He offered her an apologetic smile before he gestured to the bar. “I better get back before someone has to make their own drink,” he deadpanned, annoyed that he was being roped into pouring drinks when all he wanted was to enjoy himself.

“That’d be a national tragedy.”

Evie bit her lip, obviously not meaning to speak the thought aloud, but it made Calum laugh yet again. “It’d be a shame,” he agreed, his mood lifting slightly as he watched her lips curve up in a soft smile. “If you need another drink, you know where to find me.”

Calum reluctantly left Evie with Dahlia, Luke, and Ashton and crossed the backyard to return to the bar. He lost sight of her between the partygoers that crowded him and the friends of friends that crowded her. Though he hoped he would see her again, their paths didn’t cross and, as disappointed as he was, he imagined it was for the best. He didn’t want to monopolize her time, not when there were more interesting people for her to interact with, and he didn’t want to get too attached to someone who would be leaving in a few months, anyway.

There was nothing there for them, even if they both felt the swarm of butterflies he tried to drown with a shot of tequila, and he wasn’t going to fan the flames. He wanted his summer to be easy, calm and quiet, and he could see her breaking his heart if he let her in too close. So he didn’t look for her, didn’t try to catch her attention even though he knew he could. He just let it be and sat behind the bar, making drinks and counting down the hours until he could leave. 

And as he thought about his night, he decided the future didn’t matter. He was just glad he’d gotten her to smile.

************************

Evie woke the morning after the party with a dry mouth, something that always happened when she drank, but no other signs of a hangover. She hadn’t had much to drink - just the vodka pineapple Calum brought her when she first arrived and the spiked punch Luke grabbed for her that she only drank to be polite - so she wasn’t surprised to find herself hangover free. She was exhausted from socializing, she would’ve been content to lie in bed and pretend other people didn’t exist for the day, and found herself awake far too early for a day that had no plans but, otherwise, she felt fine.

Dahlia, on the other hand, looked like she felt worse than Evie ever had.

The first thing Evie noticed when she stepped into the kitchen was Dahlia sitting at the table with her head in her hands and an untouched cup of coffee and an open bottle of painkillers in front of her. The room was a mess of red solo cups and flickering string lights, there was even a few deflated beach balls littering the living room floor, but it was nothing compared to the backyard.

Evie spotted red cups littering the bright green grass - and the cool blue water of the pool - as well as articles of clothing and even a few remaining guests asleep in lounge chairs. There were plenty of deflated pool floats, a pizza box with half the pizza still inside, and even a few empty liquor bottles strewn across the grass and she grimaced at the thought of cleaning it all up. The aftermath made the party look far cooler than it had actually been and she balked at the state of it all as she poured a cup of coffee and lifted herself up onto the counter to stare at her cousin.

“Don’t start,” Dahlia warned, her voice low and thick with sleep. She waved a hand in Evie’s direction, her nails noticeably chipped and her skin stained with Sharpie from where Michael drew on her after she fell asleep. “Just… don’t.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Evie hid her grin behind her coffee cup and watched as Dahlia lifted her head to fix her with a dirty look. She scowled, her blue eyes narrowed in annoyance, and Evie swallowed her laughter with a sip of coffee.

“If my head didn’t hurt so bad, I’d be rolling my eyes. I just wanted you to know that.” Dahlia groaned at the effort it took to lift herself from her chair and heaved a heavy sigh as she crossed the kitchen to dump her now cold coffee into the sink. 

“Sucks to be you. You’ve gotta go open the shop,” Evie reminded her as she watched her run a little water in the sink to drain it of coffee. “You can’t really call out when you’re your own boss, huh?”

“God, the last thing I want to do is go to work today.” Dahlia looked like she forgot that work existed and, for a moment, like she regretted opening up her own business. However, after a moment of scanning the mess that was her house, she paused. Dahlia’s face twisted in a thoughtful contemplation, her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed, before she fixed Evie with a look that she didn’t like at all. “Want to open up for me?”

“No.”

Dahlia groaned at Evie’s swift response and closed the small gap that existed between them to place her hands on Evie’s knees. “Oh, come on! Please? All you have to do is open the shop up and take care of customers for a few minutes. I’ll be there by ten, at the latest. I just need to shower and, I don’t know, find a new liver.” Despite her best efforts, Evie laughed at this and Dahlia grinned as she watched her soften. 

Evie was usually steadfast in her decisions, able to stick with whatever she chose regardless of how her feelings changed - her future career path was evidence of this -, but Dahlia was good at convincing her to change her mind. And it wasn’t like she didn’t want to help. She would do whatever she could to help Dahlia out. However, opening a shop she hadn’t been to since it opened and working it, alone, for an hour? That thought intimidated her.

One of her biggest fears was failing spectacularly and she feared she would accidentally burn down the shop or maybe offend half of Dahlia’s customer base and she didn’t want that at all.

However, she found herself unable to tell her no. Although the party wasn’t exactly for Evie - not really, it was more an excuse for Dahlia and her friends to party without feeling guilty - she was still housing her for the summer with little expectations. She wasn’t paying rent or doing much outside of helping with groceries so she felt like she owed her that much, at least.

She only had one option and she didn’t really like it.

Evie remained silent for a moment, her eyes narrowed at her cousin just to make her squirm, before she heaved a heavy sigh and nodded. “Fine. But if you’re not there by ten, I’m locking up and leaving the shop empty while I go skate. I want to try out the skate park before it gets crowded with kids for the summer.”

“Deal. Love you, kid. Thank you,” Dahlia exclaimed, looking brighter than she did a moment ago, as she reached out and pinched Evie’s cheek. She laughed Evie swatted at her hand and nudged her side to get her to stop. “The shop is dead before eleven on Saturday, anyway. At most, you’ll have a few people wanting pastry but that’s about it. Find what you need in the pastry case. If someone has a custom order, write it down and get their name and number and I’ll confirm with them later.” 

After her explanation, Dahlia took off down the hallway. Evie watched her disappear, rushing toward her bedroom with a grace that Evie still couldn’t manage, even on skates. She was envious of how Dahlia moved, how it looked like she was floating on air even with the way her shoulders slumped and her head fell forward due to the hangover, and found herself comparing their differences yet again as she retreated to the guest bedroom she claimed as her own for the summer.

She envied Dahlia in a number of ways. Dahlia was graceful, of course, but she was also living life the way she chose. Her parents wanted her to go to college and get a business degree but her passion was baking. She knew the degree might be helpful - she sometimes lamented not choosing the college route, especially as she navigated the wonderful world of entrepreneurship - but she preferred getting practical experience so instead of spending four years in school, she worked in cafes and bakeries and trained with any pastry chef that would have her. She attended culinary school, after working long enough to save up the money so she wouldn’t feel like she owed her parents, and was steadfast in doing whatever she could to make her dream come true. 

Evie, meanwhile, was stuck living the life her parents deemed appropriate just because she was too afraid to challenge them. 

She didn’t want to be a lawyer. It wasn’t the life she would’ve chosen for herself. However, as she skated along the sidewalk that ran between Dahlia’s house and Flower, she realized that she wasn’t sure what life she would’ve chosen for herself. She hadn’t really been given the opportunity to dream as a child - her future had long since been determined for her - and feared it was too late now.

And, even if she was given the chance to dream, what would she do as she dreamt? 

She was stuck, though she realized there were worse places to be stuck than with a paid for degree and a guaranteed ticket to law school.

Evie heaved a heavy sigh as she stopped in front of the shop. She paid no attention to her surroundings as she flipped through Dahlia’s keyring to find the front door key. Her headphones were situated over her ears and she was lost in thought as she stepped inside, rolling around the tables and flipping on lights as she did. As soon as the computer was turned on and everything was ready to go, she pulled off her headphones and sat down at one of the tables to switch her skates out for a pair of Docs.

“When you’re not body slamming strangers, you are actually really good.”

“Jesus Christ.” Evie stood from her seat, sending her skates rolling across the floor and shaking the table, as a voice echoed through the empty shop. She hadn’t heard the bell ring - a fact she chalked up to the headphones - and was surprised to find Calum standing near the entrance with a smile on his face. He was leaning against a table, arms folded over his chest, but leaned down to grab the skate as it rolled across the floor to him.

Evie was glad to see him again. She’d planned on seeking him out at the party, she wanted to talk to him, but every attempt she made was thwarted. If she wasn’t inundated with questions for Dahlia’s friends about her life in L.A., Luke was following her every move. He hung onto her like a lost puppy and while she thought he was cute, someone else had already captured her interest.

She smiled at Calum as he crossed the shop, holding the run away skate out for her to take, and willed herself not to flush pink in his presence yet again. She didn’t feel so embarrassed, not anymore. Those feelings were replaced with butterflies raging in the pit of her stomach and she willed her thumping heart to calm as she shook her head and said, “Thanks. Good morning.”

“Good morning. That happen often?”

Calum smirked at her, obviously amused by her string of bad luck when it came to him, and watched her as she moved. “Not really, no. I’m beginning to think you’re bad luck, Calum.” Evie laughed as she teased Calum, a grin on her face to let him know she was joking, and focused on lacing up the remaining boot before she placed her skates on the leash and stashed them beneath the counter beside her bag. “What brings you to Flower?”

“The guys are all dying of hangovers. It was my turn to pick up breakfast and I know the owner here,” he said, his eyes shining with mischief as he approached the counter she now stood behind and watched her brush her hair over her shoulder and away from her face.

“Mm, well, the owner isn’t in but I’ll do my best to help you fulfill your duties as breakfast bringer. What do you need?”

“Surprise me. I’ll trust your judgement.” Evie raised an eyebrow at Calum’s words, her smile still present, before she rolled her eyes and set about gathering an assortment of pastries. He made a noise, a sound that made it seem like he’d just had a thought, before he added, “I will admit, it’s hard trusting your judgement when your favorite drink is vodka pineapple but…”

Evie lifted her head, shooting him a playful glare over the top of the pastry case, before she narrowed her eyes and huffed. “Isn’t it against the bartender code of ethics or something to judge someone based on their drink choice?”

“Absolutely not. I think that’s the most ethical decision. Saves me from getting to know people with bad taste,” he defended, a laugh leaving his lips as he leaned back against one of the tables and watched her work. “And it’s a good way to pass time during slow shifts.”

Evie placed a piece of pastry paper into one box and reached for another to pack a few more items. “There’s such a thing as a slow shift at a bar here?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but this isn’t exactly L.A. There’s one bar in town and it’s only busy when kids come home from college. The rest of the year, there are plenty of slow shifts.” Calum explained with a shrug as he watched her bag up the boxes of pastries and slide them across the counter.

“You getting good at judging people based on their drinks, then?” Evie was certain she looked skeptical, she felt it, but Calum took her question in stride as he offered her a playful shrug.

“You can always come to the bar and see for yourself. I’ll share some of my judgements, you let me know how you think I did.”

Evie blinked in surprise at Calum’s offer. She hadn’t expected him to be so bold but she found that she liked it. The friends she made, the guys she dated, often beat around the bush or took far too long to ask for what they wanted. Calum, on the other hand, seemed comfortable enough to dive right in. It was a welcome change and she found herself nodding without really thinking it through.

“Okay, sure. I’ll come judge your judgements as long as you promise not to make fun of my drink of choice. Or my skating.”

“Never made fun of your skating, Evie,” Calum reminded her with a tooth-filled smile, “just your string of unfortunate luck when I’m around. My shift starts at seven tonight. Dolly usually drops by around eight with Ash and the guys if you want to join them.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Calum lingered near the counter for a beat of silence after paying for the pastries. They stared at one another, both with glittering eyes and butterflies in their stomachs, and smiled as they took in the matching pink tint both their cheeks took on. Neither of them had gone into the summer with the intention of anything more than fun but they could feel something brewing beneath the surface. There was more to them than either of them wanted to admit yet, they didn’t know what awaited them down the line, but they were both coming to the conclusion that getting there would be a fun journey.

“See you around, Evie.” Calum broke the stalemate first, his words spoken softly with a hint of hope  that didn’t go unnoticed. He gave her another smile, this one soft and unlike the others she’d seen thus far, before he turned to leave the shop.

“See you around, Calum.”

Evie watched as he left the shop. He glanced at her over his shoulder as he left the shop and she bit her lip to keep her smile from growing any wider as he did so. She felt giddy, an annoying sort of excitement that she hadn’t felt in a long while, and willed herself to calm as he disappeared into the morning sun. She wasn’t sure what she was getting herself into with Calum, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but for the first time in a long while, she found that she didn’t quite mind the uncertainty.

In fact, she was looking forward to it.

**********************************

Calum stood behind the bar at Jack’s, a dingy dive that he’d been working at since he turned eighteen, and wiped at the counter as he waited for another customer to approach him. He hadn’t been old enough to bartend when he started, he just bussed tables and stocked the backroom, but since he turned twenty-one, he’d been behind the bar almost every night as he worked to save up enough money to finally leave his hometown.

He loved his family, he loved his friends, but he didn’t exactly love the life he was living. He was desperate to make a real life for himself, a better life for himself. He wanted an opportunity, a chance to prove that he could be something other than a small-town bartender or a washed up surfer, and he hoped that L.A. was the answer to all of his problems. Though, realistically, he knew that it was likely anything but.

He sometimes felt envious as he thought about the lives those around him led. His friends were settled into their small town lives. Ashton and Michael both had steady partners and were attempting to build futures as Ashton opened his own surf shop and Michael made more than enough money designing video games. Luke was just enjoying himself, having fun as he navigated small town life and worked to complete as much of a degree as he could at the local junior college. All the while Calum felt like he was drifting. 

He felt like everyone around him had a plan, an idea of what they wanted from their future, while he felt like he had no idea and it scared him. He’d had one, once, but life hadn’t worked out he way he wanted and it threw him off balance. He was plunged into the unknown and it was well beyond uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to the uncertainty, to not knowing what would come next, and he felt like he needed to get his life back on track.

He just wasn’t sure how.

He didn’t know what was next, what came after spending his so-called best years working in a dive bar and not really doing anything he deemed important. He didn’t know where he would end up or what he even wanted to do anymore. He just knew that he needed to leave his hometown and make something of his life. 

He needed to matter.

Calum heaved a heavy sigh, his heart thudding uncomfortably in his chest, as he shook his head to clear it. Those thoughts always hurt more than he cared to admit. He didn’t like dwelling on the what-if’s and the heavier parts of his life. He didn’t like the heavy feeling that lingered in his stomach or the way his chest tightened when he worried about it. And, maybe, that was why he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. He couldn’t bring himself to think about it for longer than a few moments at a time. If he did, he panicked and it only served to hurt him more.

It was a catch-22; no matter what he did, he felt like he was fighting a losing battle.

Thankfully, as his thoughts started to swirl a little too quickly, a regular approached him and requested a refill on his favorite beer. Calum welcomed the opportunity to focus on work and listened idly as the man made a comment about the baseball game that played on the televisions above the bar.

He listened as the man complained about the current pitcher, a player he didn’t recognize as he didn’t follow baseball himself, and paid no mind to the noise as a new group entered the bar. He assumed it was a group of kids, just returned home from college, and worked to finish the task at hand. However, a flash of motion at the end of the bar caught his attention.

He turned his head just enough to catch sight of the customer and spotted Evie out of the corner of his eye, her long hair brushed back over her shoulder and showing off the low-cut top she wore. He had to take a moment to breathe, to swallow down the bubbling attraction he felt in the pit of his stomach, as he slid the beer across the counter. But when, with a smile and a tilt of his glass, the regular walked away, Calum had no choice but to turn his attention to Evie who flashed him a bright smile and waited for him to move close enough to hear her.

“I’m definitely not in L.A. anymore,” she commented, her eyes bright as she glanced around the dingy bar. She took in the decor, a mixture of old photographs and street signs and records, and Calum grimaced. It was rough - he knew that it looked like a bad dive from an even worse movie - and he could only imagine how it compared to the kinds of places she went to in the city. However, she surprised him when she said, “But I like it. Doesn’t feel so intimidating. I don’t feel like I need to look picture perfect, you know? I do feel kind of overdressed, though.”

Calum would be the first to admit that she looked out of place. She was definitely overdressed compared to the few older couples in casual beachwear and a few college students dressed in athletic shorts and oversized t-shirts. She wore a white, ribbed short-sleeved top tucked into a high-waisted red skirt and a pair of platforms that gave her a few inches of height. It was a good look on her - and it made Calum realize that skirts and shorts, anything that showed off her legs, were staples of her wardrobe; not that he was complaining - and he surprised himself when didn’t hesitate to tell her that.

“Doesn’t matter. You look beautiful,” he complimented as he wiped at a spot on the bar and glanced at her from beneath his lashes. Just as he expected, her cheeks tinted pink and she rolled her eyes at the compliment as she turned her head to glance around the bar once more. He spotted the others - Ashton and Dahlia, Michael and Crystal, and Luke, watching her with an interest that told Calum he wasn’t the only one who noticed how beautiful she looked - and sent her a smile. “First round on you?”

“Mhm. Least I could do for the party,” she answered with a shrug. He knew she hadn’t loved the party - he could see it on her face - but he was pleasantly surprised that she was attempting to pay it forward. “They said you know their usuals. I’d like to hear your judgements based on their orders.”

“I know them too well to judge their orders.” He began pouring the beer that Michael liked, a local brew that everyone else hated, as he lifted his eyes to meet hers once more. “But I can tell you my thoughts on some of the drinks I’ve already made tonight.”

“That’s not violating bartender-patron confidentiality?”

“Not by a long shot. See those girls over there?” When Evie nodded, subtly looking in the direction of the two college students that sat near the door, he repeated the gesture. “Both have really shitty, cheap white wine. It’s a social drink. There’s barely any alcohol in it so they’re not here to get drunk, just here to gossip and vent. They’ll both wobble out of here after one drink, that has barely any alcohol, and use it as an excuse to do something stupid like text an ex.”

“I don’t know if you need to know their drink orders to guess that. That’s just their demographic. What else you got?” She had a playful look in her eyes, offering up a challenge for something less obvious, and Calum laughed as he set to work pouring Luke’s tequila-based drink.

“That couple, way over there.” Again, she sent a subtle glance in their direction before nodding. “They’re in here almost every night. He drinks the same beer, she drinks the same vodka soda. They both like routine. He likes simple, no fuss. It’s a way to relax. For her, she gets that to pretend she’s more sophisticated than she is. Wants a drink with more alcohol than white wine but not something complicated and fruity. Sees it as a sort of marker of status or something.”

Evie nodded, a thoughtful look on her face as she watched him pour Dahlia’s drink of choice - which just so happened to be a vodka soda - before she tilted her head to the side and asked, “What does my vodka pineapple tell you about me?”

Calum looked at her. She was genuinely curious, not challenging or defensive, and he smiled as he finished pouring Ashton’s beer before he rounded the bar to help her carry the drinks to the table. He fixed her with a look and she raised an eyebrow as she waited for him to answer. “You don’t like to drink, you chose a drink where you can barely taste the alcohol, but you want to be a part of the group. If you did want to drink, you would either be a complete lightweight or drink everyone here under the table, there’s no in-between. You want simple, no fuss, and you put on that you don’t care what other people think but, deep down, you care more than anyone else.”

Evie blinked in surprise at his answer. She stared at him, her eyes narrowed and her cherry red lip between her teeth, before she shook her head and offered a half-hearted laugh. “All that from a vodka pineapple?”

“You’d be surprised what you can learn behind a bar. I’ll help you get these over to the group before they start rioting.”

Calum didn’t want to admit that he’d watched her at the party. He didn’t want to admit that he’d kept his eyes on her, even when she was surrounded by friends of friends and strangers alike. He didn’t want to tell her that those were the observations he made based on watching her interact with a group of people, nor did he want to tell her that he had more thoughts that, based on her reaction, were likely just as correct.

He kept that to himself just as he kept his growing attraction to her to himself.

He knew the signs of a bubbling crush - a term he hated because it felt so middle school but he wasn’t sure what else he could call it - and could feel them crashing over him like a tidal wave. He didn’t like the way his chest tightened when she was around. He didn’t like the way he wanted more, wanted to get to know her beyond the little bit he already guessed. He didn’t like the way he felt butterflies swirling in his stomach and climbing up the back of his throat. He didn’t like the way he was starting to feel about her and what he was beginning to learn about her from their brief interactions.

He hadn’t learned it all - and hadn’t formed his crush - from a vodka pineapple but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

Calum helped her carry the drinks to the table and averted his eyes when he watched her take the open seat beside Luke. It wasn’t as if either of them had any claim on her, both were interested but neither had made a move - even though he was starting to feel certain that she wasn’t interested in Luke the way he was in her - but he still felt annoyed watching her sit so close to the one other person who seemed to be vying for her attention.

Normally, Calum would’ve stuck around, hung out for a few minutes. He would’ve attempted to capture her attention once more, maybe crack a joke or ask her another question, but his own attention was promptly pulled back to the bar. Instead of getting to see her smile once more, he turned away from the table and missed the look she gave him, the way she watched him return to work with a crestfallen look on her face. 

During his shift, Calum snuck a few breaks to hang out with the group just as he usually did. He tried not to monopolize Evie’s time, he tried to interact with her as he would with anyone else, but he found himself drawn to her time and time again. He kept his eye on her and seemed to meet her gaze every time he glanced her way. 

When the bar finally emptied of anyone but them around ten, he changed the music to a playlist they all loved and laughed as he watched Dahlia and Ashton get up and begin to dance. They always took the opportunity to dance, although neither of them could move sober, and he found it endearing to see them still so smitten after so many years.

What he didn’t find endearing, however, was watching Luke hold his hand out to Evie. It was a gesture meant to entice her to dance but Calum felt a small thrill as she refused without hesitation and gestured to the bar. Instead of joining the others on the makeshift dance floor, she slid out of the booth and crossed the empty bar to take a seat on one of the barstools, all the while smiling directly at him.

He didn’t want to seem too pleased with her decision so he kept his gaze on the glasses he’d been cleaning. “No dancing for you?” he asked as she shifted on her seat and watched Luke crowd in to dance with Crystal and Michael.

“I only dance on wheels. ‘Sides, couldn’t leave you over here alone while everyone else had fun. I figured I’d keep you company.”

Calum hid his smile at the fact that she chose to spend time with him over dancing with the others and kept working as he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She watched him work, her brown eyes trailing him as he moved. “You spend a lot of time on skates, huh?”

“When I have free time.” She shrugged, offering him a small smile and a nod of gratitude when he slid a glass of water across the bar to her - he had been correct; she’d only had one drink before switching to water while the others were sufficiently hammered. “I have a few friends that are into it and I do roller derby when I can but I don’t get to skate as often as I want. What about you? Living this close to a nice, more or less uncrowded beach must give you a lot of time to surf.”

“When I have free time,” he repeated her answer, smiling at her as she rolled her eyes. “I go pretty often but I’m here most nights and end up sleeping all day most days. Night shift can be brutal.” He shrugged himself, a nonchalant expression meant to show that he didn’t mind the long hours he worked, but Evie frowned at him and he felt a pang of something - affection, maybe? -  as she expressed her sadness for him.

“I’m sorry. It sucks to have something so close seem so far.”

It was brief, a throwaway comment meant to ease his mind, but Calum appreciated it just the same. However,  he didn’t want to dwell so he simply acknowledged her comment with a hum. He paused then, his eyes fixed on her as she glanced at Dahlia and Ashton and smiled as she watched them move. And before he could really think about it, he asked, “How hard was it to learn to skate?”

“I don’t really remember,” she answered, her lips curving downward into a brow as she turned her attention back to him. She looked thoughtful, attempting to remember how difficult her early days of skating were, before she shrugged. “I was so young when I started that I don’t really remember the struggle. It just kind of feels like I’ve always been skating, you know? Tricks are tough to learn, even now, but skating itself? I’m probably remembering wrong but it felt really easy at the time. Why? You want to learn?”

She meant it as a joke, he knew that, but Calum was serious as he nodded. “I was thinking about it, yeah.” He’d never really given any thought to wanting to learn to skate. He enjoyed watching people skate down the boardwalk in the summer and had seen a few roller girls in his day but he’d never been curious enough to want to skate himself. However, Evie loved skating so much and spent so much of her time on wheels that it seemed like the perfect way for him to spend time with her. 

He felt a little embarrassed as she scrutinized him, blinking in surprise and mild amusement, but before he could walk it back and tell her he’d been joking, she grinned at him. She looked so earnest and excited at the prospect and he found it endearing as she beamed at him. “I could teach you,” she offered, smiling at him over the rim of her glass. “I mean, if you really want to learn, I could help.”

“Really?” This was exactly what Calum had been hoping for and tried his best not to convey his utter excitement as he watched her nod.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s the least I could do for body slamming you yesterday. But I’m going to ask for a favor, too. So, it’s both an apology and a sort of, uh, quid pro quo situation.”

“Ah, so it’s not just out of the goodness of your heart. What do you get from this then?” He was curious, unsure of what he could possibly offer her, and waited for her response with a raised eyebrow and his full attention on her.

“Teach me how to surf.”

To say that he hadn’t expected that would be an understatement. Calum blinked slowly, not expecting her to want to surf as it didn’t seem to be up her alley whatsoever. But, then again, he hadn’t pegged her as a skater and here she was, offering to teach him. And, as much as he hated that the thought entered his mind, he wasn’t going to complain about getting to see her in a bathing suit so he nodded. “Alright. You teach me to skate, I’ll teach you how to surf. I have Friday and Saturday off. We could meet at the rink on Friday morning and the beach on Saturday? I don’t think I’m ready for the streets yet.”

Evie laughed at his admission and nodded her agreement. “The rink sounds like a great option. I’ve been wanting to check the one here out. I’m looking forward to it.”

She was completely sincere in her words, her excitement evident and catching as Calum felt his own smile widen. He was looking forward to it, too, and told her as much as she caught Dahlia’s eye and nodded her acknowledgement that they were getting ready to leave. “I can’t wait,” he admitted, a grin on his lips and a flush to his cheeks. “I’ll see you on Friday, Evie.”

He didn’t miss the way Luke, Michael, Crystal, Ashton, and Dahlia looked at him. Everyone - apart from Luke - looked amused at the situation at hand. He knew they all heard him tell her he’d see her on Friday and he knew that they would all know their plans soon enough but he reveled in the annoyed look on Luke’s face as he waved them out with a smile. Evie was the last to leave, calling out her own goodbye over her shoulder before she disappeared into the warm night air, and Calum felt his grin grow.

He was still worried about his future, deep in the back of his mind, but he decided that the near future - Friday, to be exact - was more manageable for him to think about. He had something to look forward to, plans that didn’t make him anxious, and he was excited to see Evie again. He still didn’t want to admit it to himself, not with the luck he’d had in terms of summer flings, but he was looking forward to her company.

*************************

Although Evie and Calum didn’t plan to see one another again until Friday, they’d been able to speak a few more times over the course of the week that separated them. He hadn’t been joking about his - hers now, too, she supposed - friends visiting the bar regularly. She’d spent almost every night in Jack’s, right alongside the group she was quickly coming to know and love, and kept Calum company whenever the rest of the group got too drunk to be much fun.

They talked, mostly about their friends and stories from their lives that were deemed safe for getting to know each other, and she found herself even more excited for their skating session now that she knew a little more about the kind of person Calum was. She found herself growing attached to him, looking forward to seeing him at Jack’s or getting a meme from him at three in the morning when he finally got off work and made it to the house he shared with Ashton, and that worried her.

Evie knew herself well enough to know that pursuing something with Calum wasn’t exactly realistic. They had no future - she would be back in L.A. in a matter of less than two months and a three hour commute for a summer fling didn’t seem to be the most feasible idea. However, she tried hard not to remind herself of the harsh reality that awaited them come August.

She liked Calum, far more than she believed she would at first, and felt a more intense swarm of butterflies swirling in the pit of her stomach every time they crossed paths.

As much as she wanted to overthink it, as much as she wanted to rationalize her way out of pursuing him, she didn’t believe that was possible. She felt her rationality chipping away, piece by piece, with every smile Calum gave her. And, besides, that felt too much like running and she didn’t want to disappoint Dahlia. So, instead of thinking her way out of a fun summer, she decided to just let fate control her destiny.

If a summer romance was in the cards, well, who was she to run from it?

Evie tried her hardest not to get lost in her head as she arrived at the rink. The parking lot was deserted, there was only one other car and she imagined it belonged to whoever had the opening shift, and she wasn’t surprised to find the rink empty as she entered. It was barely ten, the rink had only been open for a matter of minutes, and from what  Dahlia told her, the rink didn’t see many customers until the sun went down.

She felt a pang of longing for her own rink, a place that felt more like home than her own home did, and although she missed the crowds and the staff at her own rink, she was glad that it was empty for Calum’s sake. She didn’t really remember learning how to skate herself but she couldn’t imagine it would be fun having the whole town watch you fall on your ass. It was more fun skating with a group when you knew what you were doing, however, learning alone was far easier.

She’d arrived early enough that she still had fifteen minutes until Calum was supposed to meet her. She lingered near the door for a moment, contemplating her options, before she decided to spend the little time she had alone skating around the rink. She knew that she would be spending the rest of the morning guiding Calum around, that was what she signed up for, so she wanted to utilize the time to both loosen up and free herself of the thoughts that were plaguing her.

The best way for her to clear her mind had always been going for a skate.

Evie didn’t really stop to think about it as she took a seat on one of the neon green benches and pulled off her sneakers. She shoved them into her backpack before pulling on her skates - complete with a fresh set of indoor wheels - and stepped out into the rink.

It almost felt strange being in a rink again. She hadn’t been to one in months, most of her skating was done outdoors or in a derby setting, and had almost forgotten how much she loved it as she started off slow. She took her time as she made a few laps around the rink, just enjoying the music (the same 80s hits that seemed to play in every rink she’d ever been to) and warming up. It was nice, getting a second to breathe, and she was grateful for the opportunity as she lost herself in the feeling.

As she took a few laps, she didn’t notice the door open, nor did she notice anyone enter the rink. She was focused on her movements, on trying a few tricks that she hadn’t quite nailed on asphalt but could complete with no problems on the rink floor that mimicked the hardwood of her apartment, instead of on the world around her. If she had looked, she would’ve seen Calum standing off to the side, his elbows resting on the wall that enclosed the rink and a soft smile on his lips as he watched her. He looked awed by her movements, his eyes bright and excited as he watched her spin and jump, and resisted the urge to clap as she landed a trick that looked effortless but likely took more practice than he ever could imagine.

Evie knew that she was more graceful on skates than she was on her own two feet and she sometimes wondered how she managed it. Her friends claimed it was odd, how she could trip over nothing when walking down the street but could glide and spin and flip with the best roller girls, and she wished she knew why. It was just the way things worked out for her.

She focused on loosening up, on pulling a few practice moves for a few more minutes, and enjoyed the feeling of the wood gliding beneath her skates. She loved feeling her hair whip around her, blowing behind her as she moved, and grinned at the rush she felt as she glanced over and spotted Calum near the wall. She shot him a smile as she skated across the floor to him, her eyes wide and her chest moving a little faster than usual as she caught her breath. She took in the sight of him, looking as out of place among the neon decor of the rink in his all-black ensemble as she had at Jack’s. 

“Hi,” she greeted, her voice displaying her slight lack of breath from the exertion. “You look comfortable.” He did, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and she was glad he’d listened to her when she told him to dress for comfort.

“I didn’t get the memo. Is the aesthetic necessary to the learning process or do I magically get a pair of knee high socks when I get good enough?”

She was wearing an outfit similar to what she’d worn the first day they met, a crop top and shorts with a pair of knee high socks, and rolled her eyes at his teasing. “Yeah, your fairy skate mother brings them to you along with a pair of new skates and a fanny pack. To be a good skater, you have to dress like a roller girl from the seventies. It’s the first rule in the handbook.” Calum grinned at her teasing and she shook her head before she gave him a once over. “D’you at least wear a pair of high socks?”

“I did,” he confirmed, lifting the leg of his sweatpants just enough to show her the highest socks he had in his collection and felt silly wearing. “I’m ready for my first lesson, coach.”

“Come on, then,” she laughed, stepping out of the rink and gliding across the carpet with a gesture for Calum to follow. “Let’s go get you a pair of skates. What size shoe do you wear?”

Calum told her his shoe size and she relayed the information to the worker behind the window as Calum caught up with her. He glanced at the racks of skates and frowned at the standard beige and orange combination he saw. “These aren’t as cool as yours,” he commented, glancing down at the neon green skates she wore, now with black wheels. “These are… boring.”

Evie laughed at his observation and shrugged. “These cost five bucks to rent. You’ll probably hate me if I tell you how much mine cost.” When he made a face, something that told her she was right, she shook her head and pressed the skates into his hands. “Come on, first lesson is how to tie these things.”

Calum followed Evie across the rink, back to the bench where her backpack laid, and took a seat as she leaned against the wall. He kicked off his own Vans, sat them beside her bag, and began pulling on his skates. When he went to tie them himself, Evie shook her head.

“They fit okay?” When he nodded, she repeated the motion and stepped closer before kneeling down in front of him. Calum blinked, willing himself not to get any ideas on her close proximity and position, as she said, “Give me your foot.” He raised an eyebrow at this, unsure of what she was doing, but she paid him no mind as he followed her directions and she yanked the laces tight on the boot and looped them over the three metal hooks at the top before tying them in a bow.

“Okay, wow, that’s a little tight,” he mumbled, not wanting to sound like he couldn’t handle it but completely surprised at the feeling as he watched her shift to his other foot. “Fuck, you skate like this?”

Evie laughed at his reaction and nodded her head. “You get used to it.” She stood from her position and brushed her knees off before she explained, “You don’t want your skates flying off your feet or your feet coming out of them when you fall. Plus, it keeps them tight to your ankle and helps with balance. It keeps you secure. Ready for lesson number two?”

“If that’s standing then, uh, maybe give me a second?” Calum requested as he glanced down at his feet and gave them an experimental roll across the carpet. Evie bit back a laugh as she watched, amused by his actions and the widening of his eyes, but nodded as she waited for him to deem himself ready. It took a long moment but he finally lifted his head and looked at her again. “Okay. Ready to stand.”

“Alright. See that thing on the end of your boot?” Calum looked down and she hid her laughter as she watched him nod. “That’s your toe stop. Dig that into the carpet with one foot and use that to help you keep your balance as you stand. I recommend using the toe stop on your dominant foot.” He looked uncertain, shaky at best, but his eyes narrowed in concentration as he attempted to follow her directions. It took him a moment, he took a deep breath to build himself up, but he finally managed to dig the toe stop into the carpet as she directed and lift himself from the bench.

He wobbled on his skates, his arms flailing by his side as he attempted to steady himself, and Evie swallowed her laughter as she reached out and grabbed his arm to help him regain his balance. “I’m good,” he nodded, though he looked a little wide-eyed and panicked just standing there, “I’ve got it.”

Evie didn’t believe him, not in the slightest, but she nodded. “If you say so, champ,” she teased, her grin prominent as she began skating backward toward the rink itself. “Come here, to the edge, and I’ll show you what you need to be doing. You can hang on to the wall here.”

Calum slowly moved across the carpet, his movements steady and unsure, and Evie kept close to him just in case he started to go down. She bit her lip to hide her smile as she watched him barely inch across the carpet but when he paused, eyes wide as his feet started to shift in a way he didn’t like, she laughed and glanced at her watch.

“Shut up,” he snapped, though there was no real malice in his voice as he finally made it to the wall and gripped the edge as he watched her step out onto the hardwood floor. “Not all of us are professionals.” He leveled a glare at her, his eyes narrowed and his fingers digging into the wall as he said, “I can’t wait to laugh at you tomorrow.”

“Mm, I’m sure you can’t. I’ll do my best to remember I have it coming,” she confirmed, a peal of laughter leaving her lips as she gestured for him to step out onto the wood himself. She could tell that he felt even more unsteady, even as he clutched the wall, and she kept close enough to reach out but far enough to not get hurt as he settled into one spot. “Okay, so, starting is pretty easy. You want to stride. If you try to move like you’re walking, you’ll trip and hurt yourself. Now, I want you to make a penguin shape.” She demonstrated, placing her feet in a ‘v’ shape and bending her knees slightly, and Calum frowned in concentration as he replicated her movement.

Evie nodded encouragingly as she watched him move. “Good. When you move, you don’t want your toes to be pointed straight because you won’t really go anywhere. Shift out, like this. She demonstrated the move, striding with her feet shifted out, and smiled at how concentrated Calum looked as he watched her feet move.

Calum slowly began copying her moves, his feet shifting as he attempted to stride, and clutched onto the wall as he did so. She moved along beside him, slowly gliding over the floor in a way that she hoped looked effortless, and nodded encouragingly as he attempted to let go of the wall and move on his own, unaided.

“You’re a natural,” she teased, her voice clearly expressing how much fun she was having as she watched him shuffle along. He shot her a dirty look and she laughed as she watched him flail. “When you feel like you’re going to lose your balance, bend your knees. Whoa, whoa, drop it low, okay?” Calum raised an eyebrow at this and Evie shook her head as she gestured to his knees. “Just bend your knees, please. It won’t hurt so bad when you hit the floor this way.”

“That’s really encouraging, thanks.”

Evie laughed at Calum’s deadpan words and reached out, without thinking, to lift his chin and keep his gaze off the floor. “Don’t watch your feet or the ground. Keep your chin up. You’re going to fall. It’s just how it is. Everyone falls when they start, I fall and I’ve been skating most of my life. You just take steps to minimize the pain.”

Calum hummed, a thoughtful noise, and nodded his understanding as the pair of them slowly began shuffling around the rink. She watched him, a quick glance at his feet before her eyes flickered to his face, and felt a soft smile quirk her lips as she watched him begin to relax.

“You’re doing good, Calum. You want to hug the wall for the rest of the morning or do you want to try and move away a little?”

“The wall’s comfortable. We’ve become best friends.”

Evie rolled her eyes at Calum’s words, a laugh leaving her lips as she reached for his hand. She was gentle as she took his hand in hers and guided him away from the wall. Neither of them thought about the contact, her too focused on keeping him upright and him too alarmed at the thought of his safety net disappearing, but she knew that she would dwell on it later as she squeezed his hand and began guiding him around the rink.

“Don’t think about it,” she advised, her words gentle as she spoke just loud enough to be heard over the music. “Just feel it. Don’t look at your feet, don’t look at the floor. Shoulders back, chin up, knees bent; there you go.”

The pair of them moved just a little away from the wall, Calum doing his best to follow her instruction, and she watched as he struggled to find his balance. He was athletic and she knew that balance was necessary for surfing but balancing on wheels didn’t seem to be his strong suit. With every stride he made, his footing grew less steady and despite her repeated calls for him to bend his knees, he remained stiff once she let go of his hand. He was on his own, moving slowly, and she could see the fall coming before he knew what was happening.

She watched as he hit the ground, landing square on his ass and wincing as he tried to catch himself on his hands - something she reminded herself to teach him not to do. She bit back her laughter, amused at the look of sheer surprise on his face, as she lowered herself to the ground beside him so she could teach him how to get up.

“You okay?” Her question was serious, a genuine inquiry as to how he was doing, but Calum took the muffled laughter as a sign of her amusement and rolled his eyes as he flipped her off.

“Perfect,” he mumbled, his voice displaying his annoyance at both his fall and how difficult he was finding learning to move on skates. “How the fuck do I get up?”

“Similar to how you got off the bench. Also, when you fall, don’t try to catch yourself on your wrists. I know that’s your first instinct but you’ll break your wrist. Fall on your knees or your butt. Okay, get on your knees.” Calum studied her for a moment, a look of skepticism on his face, but when she moved into position, he followed suit. “Okay, place one foot down - use your dominant foot - and press your hands really hard against your knee. Use your toe stop on the other foot to push yourself up.” She stood, just as she practiced time and time again, and Calum took two tries to get back up on his feet the way she had.

“I’m glad this place is empty,” he huffed as he stood there, his toe stop against the floor and his hands on his hips as he caught his breath. “I’d be fucking embarrassed to get shown up by a group of eight year olds right now.”

“Yeah, that’s why I chose a time I knew it’d be empty. Wouldn’t want to hurt your ego again,” she teased, calling back to their first meeting. 

Calum narrowed his eyes at her, however, he wasn’t able to hide his smile as he shook his head. She felt the butterflies in her stomach again, a furious storm of them fluttering about, as he smiled wide and laughed at his own mistake. He took a second to calm his laughter, and hers, before he asked, “Alright, what am I supposed to do again?”

Calum did his best to follow Evie’s instructions to the letter this time and she was pleased at how well he was listening as they completed their first circle. He took to bending his knees and she could hear him mumble, ‘Whoa, whoa, drop it low,’ under his breath every time he so much as wobbled. However, instead of holding his arms out in the way that she’d been taught, he took to gripping onto her whenever he felt unsteady.

“If I go down again, you’re going with me,” he explained, a teasing lilt to his voice as they made yet another rotation around the rink. Evie wasn’t complaining, not in the slightest, however, she could tell that he was growing more comfortable as his grip on her hand grew less panicked and a little more casual.

“Sure thing, Cal.” She knew how to fall, she knew the way to minimize her injuries, and figured whenever he fell again, he  would take the brunt of it. Until then, she decided to just let him get a feel for moving. They remained silent for a moment, the sound of an 80s song she couldn’t identify filling the lull in conversation, before she asked, “Want to play twenty questions?”

“Is that your way of distracting me? Because if it is, it’s not going to work. I’m still sort of freaking out here,” he informed her, his smile showing that he was only partially serious. “But sure.”

“How long have you been surfing?”

“I started when I was about thirteen. I didn’t have many friends so my parents encouraged me to play sports or something to make some. My sister was a lifeguard and there were surf lessons, they took advantage of them. I met Luke and the rest is history, I guess.” Calum shrugged, a soft smile on his lips, before he turned his head just enough to look at Evie. “Why’re you spending the summer here instead of in L.A.?”

“I just needed to get away for a while. My parents left before they could, uh, encourage me to find an internship for the summer so I have a few months free for the first time in ages. I just wanted to do nothing for a while, you know?” Evie knew that she likely sounded like a spoiled brat, desperate to free herself of responsibility for a summer, but she didn’t know what else to say. However, Calum nodded, a look akin to understanding on his face, and she hoped that he really did get where she was coming from. Instead of allowing herself to dwell, though, she asked, “From the vast amount I know about them, Michael and Ashton don’t seem like the surfer type. They just fall into line somewhere along the way?”

“Mhm,” Calum confirmed, a smile on his face at the sarcasm that laced the beginning of her question. “Luke and I became friends, went surfing all the time. I met Michael in junior high and we became friends. He would come, sit under an umbrella while we surfed. He didn’t get in the water until a few years ago. Ash came along about a year after that and we’ve been friends since. They started surfing because of me and Luke.” He paused, his eyes lighting as he recognized the song playing and began bobbing his head to the beat, and Evie grinned at the endearing sight. “What kind of law are you studying?” When she shot him a look, confused as to how he knew what she was studying, he clarified, “Dahlia told us.”

“Ah. I’m pre-law right now. No specialty but I’m thinking about criminal law. Or maybe media. I don’t know. I haven’t found my niche yet, I guess.” She shrugged, unsure of herself and unsure of how to explain it to someone else, but didn’t let the subject linger as she asked, “You grew up here?”

“Lived here my whole life,” he confirmed, nodding as he followed her around the rink and grew a little steadier on his skates. “My parents moved here in their twenties, settled down, and raised me and my sister here. What about you? You grew up in L.A.?”

Evie nodded and took Calum’s relaxed grip on her as an opportunity to practice her footwork a little as she slowly guided him a little farther from the wall. “”Born and raised. Some people really are from L.A., I guess.” She shot him a wry smile, poking fun at her home, before she asked, “You’re a surfer. That the ultimate goal or are you still figuring it all out?”

“It was,” Calum answered, his voice taking on a quality that Evie didn’t quite recognize. He seemed a little more guarded with this question, a little less ready to answer it, and she didn’t blame him. If he asked her the same, she would likely hesitate, too. “Plans change, though. I’m still figuring out what the new goal is.” It was short, but honest, and Evie nodded her understanding.

“That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? What do I want to do with my future?” She breathed a heavy sigh, one that she hoped conveyed her understanding, and Calum looked at her out of the corner of his eye as she tried a grapevine move.

“Aren’t you going to be a lawyer?” He, like most people, assumed her future was planned out and that she was well on her way to reaching her goals.

“Mm, yeah. But the real question is, do I want to be a lawyer? And the answer to that is no, I don’t.”

Calum stumbled slightly as he fully turned his attention to her. He looked surprised by her admission, shocked that she didn’t have her life as together as he imagined she would, and said, “You’re still figuring it out, too.”

“I am. That’s part of why I wanted to come spend the summer here. I’ve never really had time to just sit down and think about what I want so… maybe now I can.”

Evie didn’t know that Calum had the exact opposite problem, too much time to sit and think about the future, but as he tightened his hold on her hand, she realized that they were in much the same boat. They were drifting, floating through life without a real idea of what they wanted, and a small part of her wanted to suggest that they float together. But, realistically, she knew that she was projecting her desire for a dream, something to hold onto, onto Calum. 

So instead of voicing that thought aloud, instead of telling him that though their circumstances might be different, she understood where he was coming from, she held onto his hand and hoped the embrace would convey everything she left unsaid as they continued their rotation around the rink.

*********************

Calum and Evie spent far longer at the rink than either of them imagined they would. They’d skated until an employee informed them they were closing to set up for the night skaters and Calum had gotten significantly more comfortable on his wheels as the time went on. Their conversation didn’t dip much below surface level, not after their brief discussion surrounding their mutual uncertainty about the future, but it was nice.

Calum learned a lot about her. She grew up rich, yes, but she spent most of her free time interning at law firms and helping with pro bono legal work - research mostly. She’d had a job before quitting to spend the summer with Dahlia - she worked in a boutique that a friend’s mom owned - and wanted to get another when she returned to L.A. She had a greater work ethic than anyone he’d ever met and he was surprised at how much time she devoted to something she wasn’t certain she wanted to do.

He was also surprised at her taste in entertainment. She sheepishly admitted that she loved a lot of the same artists he did and balked when he told her he’d never seen the original Star Trek. 

They got on like a house on fire, continually surprising Calum as he tried his best to get to know her in whatever way he could, and he felt his crush on her grow exponentially the more time they spent together.

Neither of them had wanted the night to end - Calum was glad he wasn’t alone in feeling something as she lingered near the entrance with him, her skates slung over her shoulder and a coy grin on her lips as they said goodbye - and he’d gone to bed with the giddy knowledge that he would be seeing her in a matter of hours. (Plus, he got to see the look on Luke’s face when he arrived home and would be lying if he said he didn’t get at least a little bit of joy out of being the one to get the girl.)

Calum was growing to like her, genuinely like her, far quicker than he had anyone else in a very long while and he tried not to let that thought scare him. He wanted to remain open, to let the universe guide him wherever he needed to be, and as he glanced out at the perfect ocean view, he liked to think that the universe was guiding him here and bringing her along for the ride.

He heard her before he saw her. The roll of her wheels down the boardwalk, the laughter of children as she passed them by and did a trick for their amusement, all signaled that Evie was approaching. He turned just in time to watch her untie her skates and place them on the rainbow leash she wore over her shoulder before she bounded down the steps. Her hair billowed behind her, a curtain of brown waves that he wanted to tangle his fingers in, and he willed the thought away just as quickly as it hit.

She carried a picnic basket in one hand and a beach bag in the other but that’s not what had Calum grinning at her. She wore a pair of shorts, the standard high-waisted black that he was coming to really love, and a lime green bikini top that looked neon in the sunlight. He shook his head at her, amused by the sunny smile on her lips and the spring in her step, as she crossed the sand and dropped the items in her hand near him.

“Good morning!”

He wasn’t sure if she was just a morning person or if she was genuinely excited about surfing. Either way, he raised an eyebrow and teased, “You’re really fucking chipper for it to be so early.” His voice was tinged with good-natured humor, the tone he found himself using more and more often when she was around, and he watched as she stowed her skates in a zip-up bag before she dug around for a can of sunscreen. “Good morning. Sleep well?”

“I could barely sleep,” she admitted, a laugh escaping her lips as she sprayed her shoulders and chest with sunscreen. “I’m so excited! I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf. I’m definitely going to wipe out but at least I can say I gave it a shot.” Calum smiled at her, thrilled to see her enthusiasm, and held out his hand to take the can from her when she seemed to be struggling to cover her shoulders.

“If I knew you wanted to learn this bad, I would’ve asked for something more than a skating lesson.” He wasn’t serious, he was glad to be teaching her and had thoroughly enjoyed his own lesson, but he liked seeing how her cheeks flushed and her mouth dropped open when he winked at her. He nudged her shoulder, gesturing for her to turn, and laughed.

She was quiet for a moment, contemplating her reply, but before Calum could clarify that he’d been joking, she shrugged. “I mean, we don’t know how good a teacher you are yet. There might be a bonus in it if I learn something today.”

She met his gaze, a playful spark of something he was beginning to recognize as uniquely Evie shining in the honey of her eyes. They remained for a beat too long, neither of them wanting to blink, but Calum broke the stalemate when he grinned. Evie returned it, just as bright, and Calum felt the overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss her.

Instead, he turned his attention to picnic basket by her side. When Evie noticed where he was looking, she turned the bashful pink he loved seeing and shrugged. “I made the mistake of telling Dahlia what we were doing so she sent some things for lunch. Mostly new stuff she’s working on for the shop. She wants us to be her guinea pigs, I guess.”

“Hopefully it’s better than the time she decided to make savory and sweet combinations. She saw this article about flavors that shouldn’t work but do and… well, the flavors really don’t work.”

Evie made a face, her lips twisted into a grimace, and Calum laughed as he recalled the way Michael dropped his pastry in horror and refused to eat any of Dahlia’s food for months after that. “Yikes. Remind me not to encourage her experiments, then,” Evie mumbled, digging her toes into the sand and watching as Calum reached into his own bag.

“You’re not the only one who came with gifts from friends. Ash sent this for you,” he told her as he pulled out a wetsuit. It was basic and black - and Calum hated asking her to cover the bikini she wore - but he knew it would be more comfortable for her when they finally got in the water. The only consolation was that it, like the rest of her wardrobe seemed to, showed off her legs and fit her well.

“That’s so sweet of him!” She looked amazing, surprised by the gift, and excitedly stripped her shorts to pull on the wetsuit. Calum grinned at her excitement and obliged when she turned and requested his help with the zipper. “How do I look?”

“Like a real surfer.” She beamed at his comment, happy that she looked the part, and pulled her hair back into a high ponytail as Calum reached for the boards he’d brought. He had his, the lucky green one he’d used for years, and a smaller one that Ashton had taken to letting the guys - mainly Luke - borrow to teach their partners how to surf if they so chose. “Ready to work on the basics?”

“Lead the way, coach!”

Calum knew that his teaching style was different than hers. She’d gone slow, one step at a time, and was good at breaking things down into manageable chunks of information. He, on the other hand, knew where his strengths rested and a slow breakdown was not something he was good at. However, he wanted her to get he best experience she could have - especially because she was so excited - so he bit back his uncertainty and handed her the board.

Evie was a much more serious student than Calum had been and far more eager. She didn’t hesitate to follow the directions he gave her. She was quick to complete the drills, her agility from skating working in her favor as she practiced moving into a standing position on the sand. She didn’t complain about having to repeat the same motion a dozen times and Calum was impressed by how serious she was taking it all.

He was also impressed by how willing she was to get out into the water after nearly an hour of practicing on sand.

“You know, I thought I was going to be making fun of you for being afraid or falling but you’re making that really hard,” he joked as he helped her wrap the leash around her ankle securely.

“What I lack in skill, I make up for in enthusiasm.” She winked at him, clearly teasing him as he’d done her, and he found himself unable to think of a reply as he shook his head and grabbed his own board.

“Alright,” he laughed, his own cheeks tinting pink as he willed himself not to think about the other ways she could mean that statement, “in the water, Porter.”

Evie eagerly rushed toward the water, board held in her arms as best as she could. Calum held back his laughter at how small she seemed compared to the board, it was comical watching her try to maneuver it when she was so clearly not used to needing anything other than her skates but he didn’t want to discourage her. He wanted her to be able to surf just as badly as she’d wanted him to be able to skate - a skill that he hoped he’d get to work on while she was in town - and was hopeful that she’d be as naturally gifted on a surfboard as she seemed to be on skates.

“Okay, remember what I told you. We’re not going out too far yet. Just far enough for you to catch a wave. It’s kind of like skating, fall on your butt. As soon as you realize you’re going to fall, jump away from your board. If you get caught by a wave that feels too big for you, go low and come up slow. Put your arms over your head because you don’t know where your board is going to be and it hurts like hell when you hit your head on it.”

“Fall on my butt, jump away from my board, go low and come up slow with my arms over my head; got it. Anything else?” She had a bright smile on her lips and looked so excited that it was catching. 

Calum felt his own smile grow a little larger as he watched her bounce on the balls of her feet and shook his head as he thought about a warning. While he hadn’t exactly been eager to learn - it was more or less forced on him - he knew how exciting the prospect of catching a wave was. He didn’t want to crush her spirit but he did want to make sure she was being safe.

He knew exactly how disastrous it was when safety wasn’t the top priority and felt a shiver run down his spine as he willed himself not to think about what could go wrong.

“I think that’s it,” he finally agreed, nodding as he glanced out at the ocean. “Like skating, you just have to go for it. Don’t go for a big wave first. Try something a little smaller, until you get comfortable. And then we’ll see about getting you a bigger wave. Alright?” Evie nodded again, her smile still bright as she turned her head to look at the ocean, and Calum laughed. “Let’s go, then.” 

Evie rushed forward, dropping her board into the water and climbing on to paddle out into the waves, and Calum followed suit. He was used to bigger waves, he’d learned how to handle himself over the years, but he stayed by Evie - close enough to keep an eye on her but far enough to avoid an accident - as they waited for the first wave. She had done the same for him at the rink, slowly moving around the hardwood at the rink, so he decided it was time to return the favor.

“I know your answer will probably depend on how well surfing goes today,” he said as they waited for a suitable wave, his eyes on the water instead of her, “but I’d love to go skating with you again.”

“It doesn’t matter how well surfing goes today. I mean, I’d love for it to go great but either way, I’d love to skate with you again.”

Calum felt his heart thud in his chest at the prospect of spending more time with her. He’d only known her for a week but it had been a really good week that was needed in the otherwise bleak year he’d been having. He was quickly falling for her, head over heels into something that he couldn’t have imagined he’d want, but the thought of spending time with her, of kissing her, of falling in love with her made him happy and he desperately wanted happiness.

He just hoped she wanted the same thing.

As quickly as the thought crossed his mind, it left. A wave, suitable for Evie, was approaching and he nodded to her when he noticed she was getting ready to start paddling. “You got it,” he encouraged her, offering a bright smile as he watched her move, “go for it!”

The wave was small enough that Calum could ride it out sitting on his board but Evie paddled like it was the biggest wave she’d ever seen. He watched, amused and endeared, at the look of concentration on her face as she attempted to stand on her board. She got halfway up, almost on her feet, but before she could fully stand, she was knocked off balance and fell into the water. 

She fell just as he instructed and he imagined it was because of her skating background. The moment she realized she was going down, she fell back into the water and Calum waited for her to pop back up. He’d been difficult, pouting and annoyed, when he fell - mostly for show, to make Evie laugh, but also because he wanted to know he could do something as seemingly simple as roller skate - but she was all smiles when she surfaced. The moment she opened her eyes and got her bearings, she laughed and Calum couldn’t help but laugh along.

“I think I got water up my nose,” was the first thing out of her mouth and he couldn’t say that he was surprised. She wiped at her face, eager to get some of the salt water off her skin, before she attempted to get back on her board.

“I’m kind of annoyed. I still don’t have anything to laugh at here. You’re too well-adjusted for this.” His complaint was teasing, a joke that she took with a wide grin, and he felt his heart ache in his chest as he watched her eagerly await another wave.

“What can I say, I give my all, enthusiastically, no matter what I’m doing.” Another innuendo, another teasing grin, and Calum bit back his groan as she paddled away with a laugh that told him she knew exactly what she was doing. He shook his head, willing himself not to think about anything other than ensuring her safety as he was well aware his wetsuit left little to the imagination, before he followed her back out.

The pair of them spent an hour in the water, him encouraging her to catch waves and her trying her best to stand, but wave after wave, she got halfway up on the board before she fell into the water. Each fall was practiced and perfect and she kept pushing but Calum could tell that she was getting frustrated. He could see the set of her jaw and the way her eyebrows furrowed. He could see her growing more annoyed with her inability to stand and he didn’t hesitated to paddle a little closer to her.

“Tell me what’s happening when you try to stand,” he instructed, his voice even as he reached out to tap her board to get her to look at him.

“I don’t know. I try to stand, I feel fine, and then all of a sudden it feels like I’m falling and I bail before I can wipe out. It’s like…” She paused, trailing off as she searched for the right words to convey her feelings, and Calum waited patiently. “It’s like when I’m trying something new at the skate park, if I’ve fallen or something. It’s a block. I just need to either get it or really fall once and I’ll be okay.”

Calum could relate. He had mental blocks often, times where he just couldn’t make himself stand on his board and ride a wave, and knew that for him, the easiest way to get over them was to do exactly as she said; get it right or fail spectacularly.

“Come on, then.”

With anyone else, he would never have taken them that far out on their first surfing adventure. But Evie was different. She could hold her own, he knew that, and she was determined to get it right. He wasn’t as wary, not as concerned for her as he maybe should have been, as he paddled a little farther out and began watching for bigger waves.

Evie glanced at him curiously, unsure of whether she was reading the situation right, and Calum nodded at her as a perfect wave began rolling in. “Get it right or fall,” he encouraged her, “I’ll be here when you come up.” She stared at him for a long moment, fixed him with a look that he couldn’t read, before she nodded and began paddling. 

Calum did his best to ride out the wave on his board, just as he did the others, and kept an eye on Evie as she finally managed to stand on the board. He cheered, a large smile covering his lips as he watched her ride the wave for a brief moment, and clapped as she fell into the water. It took her a second longer to come up but the smile she’d worn at the beginning of the day was back and brighter than before as she searched for him.

“I did it!”

He paddled to where she was climbing back onto her board, his own grin just as bright as hers was, and held up his hand for a high five. “You’re really starting to make me look bad here,” he teased, his words light as he watched her continue to beam. “Can’t half ass anything, can you?”

She shrugged, a sheepish grin on her lips, and Calum felt a fondness wash over him as she turned her head to watch for another wave. He knew she was determined, desperate to get things right even if she didn’t want to, so he  knew he was only seeing a fraction of what she was capable of as she attempted something she truly wanted to accomplish.

Throughout the day, as the hours dragged on and the pair of them grew weary from the sun and the water, Evie managed to stand and ride a wave to completion more than once. She got better, her footing grew steadier, and Calum grew prouder with every attempt she made. Just as she’d stuck by his side in the rink and held his hand, he gave her space to surf safely on her own but rode along beside her. And when the sun was high in the sky, he all but dragged her from the water and encouraged her to sit with the picnic basket she’d brought along.

“That was so fucking cool!” She was beaming, proud of herself and happy that she’d finally gotten over the block that was keeping her from achieving a goal, as she bit into one of the treats Dahlia had sent along. “I surfed! That felt as cool as it’s always looked.”

“Why have you never gone before? I’m sure you could’ve found someone to teach you in L.A..” He was grateful that he was the one to teach her - he loved seeing the smile she wore and the excitement in her eyes when she finally got it right - but she could have easily gotten lessons. If it was something she’d wanted to do, there should’ve been nothing stopping her.

“I didn’t have time.” She shrugged, a gesture Calum was growing used to seeing her use, before she took another bite and stared out at the ocean. Calum remained silent, waiting for her to go on, and when she realized he wanted to hear more, she brushed her hands off and brought her knees to her chest. “My life was always planned, you know? Super structured. Debate team, Model UN, gymnastics, AP classes, internships; I didn’t have time for new things that wouldn’t look good on a college application. I had skating and I had to sneak out to do that. There was a tennis court near our house so when my parents went to bed, I went there and practiced. But new things weren’t really an option. It was routine.”

“Is that why you’re going to be a lawyer? It’s what your parents want?”

“Want isn’t really the right word there. Demand, maybe. But, yeah. My parents are both lawyers, so is my brother. The deal was, they’d pay for school if I went to law school. College is expensive and I’d rather have no debt and a solid career trajectory than crushing debt and no real plan. Stability is stability, even if I hate it.”

Though Calum didn’t have the same problem - his parents had always been very supportive of his dreams, whatever they happened to be when they asked him - but he understood where she was coming from. It made sense. She grew up with a safety net, no debt and no worries about money, so to take on staggering debt of her own and go off into the unknown, even if it was what she really wanted, was likely terrifying. Calum understood.

He knew that if he had been in the same position, he likely would’ve done the same thing.

“What did you want to do?” He was curious, eager to know what she would’ve wanted from her life had she been given the chance to really live it. But she just shrugged.

“Dunno. Never had a chance to think about it.” She turned to him, a sad smile on her lips as she met his gaze for the first time since sitting down, and shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter now, I guess.”

“It still matters. You should get a chance to be whatever you want.” He hesitated, wondering whether it was his place to comment on her life, but ultimately decided he’d like her to know what he thought of her. “I think you’d make a good teacher.” When she laughed, clearly skeptical, he shook his head. “Seriously, I think you’d be good. You’re smart and you’re outwardly positive, even when you don’t feel it. You’re good at breaking things down. You listen and have the ability to capture a room when you speak. And you’d definitely be the teacher all the kids have a crush on.”

At this, Evie blushed and shook her head but Calum could see her lips curving into a genuine smile. She was quiet, staring out into the ocean, and Calum wanted to ask what she was thinking but he chose not to. Instead, he remained quiet beside her and watched as other surfers began swarming the ocean in a contemplative silence.

Hours later, when the sun began to go down and their cheeks were tinted pink from the sun, Evie packed her bags and shrugged off the wetsuit Ashton had gifted her. “Thank you, Calum.” He looked away from her exposed skin and met her eyes, surprised at the gratitude she expressed. His confusion must have been evident as she clarified, “For today. For teaching me to surf, for helping me get over that mental block, for helping me try to figure out my future. This has been the best weekend I’ve had in a really long time.”

In another surprising move, Evie stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He blinked, his cheeks going even redder than they had been, and she grinned. “I’ll see you later, Cal. Have a good night.”

She bounded away, only stopping at the top of the stairs to put her skates on, and Calum stared in the direction she disappeared for another long moment. His own smile grew brighter and his cheek burned in the most pleasant way where she’d kissed him. It was small, nothing that had ever affected him before, but he felt her presence so clearly and every move she made seemed to hit him harder than anything ever had. She was overwhelming in the best possible way and it made him forget everything he worried about.

He’d been worried about the past, about things he could no longer change and people he could no longer save.  He’d been worried about his own future, about plans that fell through and dreams that had been crushed. He’d been worried about his own present, about letting her get too close and break his heart when she left for L.A. after a magical summer. But as the waves crashed and laughter rang out around him, he felt his worries melting away. He was happy, glad to exist and eager to see tomorrow for the first time in a long while, and he felt excited to see what tomorrow would bring him.

*******************

Two weeks of bliss.

That was the only way Evie could describe the last two weeks of May, the two weeks after her surf lesson with Calum and the kiss she gave him on the cheek. There were minor annoyances - Dahlia had taken advantage of her presence and asked her to open Flower most mornings, even though Evie really had no idea what she was doing; tourists and students were starting to flock to town, crowding the boardwalks and streets and skate park; her parents had found the time to call and encouraged her to get some work done instead of just lounging around - but they were vastly outweighed by the good.

She continued to spend almost every night at Jack’s, the barstool on the lefthand side of the bar was always left vacant for her as if it was some unspoken rule, and kept Calum company as he worked. Whenever there was a lull in business, she listened to him share more thoughts about customers or drinks and tried cocktails he decided to experiment with when no one else would.

On the days that Calum didn’t work they spent their mornings at the beach, usually with their friends in tow, and their nights at the rink. Calum had gotten better at skating, able to keep his balance without needing to hold onto her for stability - though he still held her hand, something she certainly wasn’t complaining about - while she had gotten better at surfing. She was able to ride mid-sized waves and joined the boys in the water while Dahlia cheered them on from the shore.

There were nights where they all got takeout, all sitting in Dahlia’s backyard with containers around them and happy smiles on their lips as they listened to music and talked, and there were nights when Calum and Evie ate alone on the beach. She learned so much about him on those nights, bits and pieces that helped her make sense of who Calum was, and she loved them more than she’d loved almost anything else.

It was something out a dream, a summer ripped from a romance film she once would’ve deemed cheesy, and she felt excited to see where the day would take her when she awoke. Her crush on Calum was unbearable, teetering quickly into head over heels territory, and Dahlia wouldn’t leave it alone as they packed up a picnic basket for their bonfire on the beach.

“Just tell him you’re into him. We’re all tired of watching the two of you eye-fuck whenever we hang out.” When Evie scoffed, an incredulous look on her face as she turned to stare at Dahlia, her cousin rolled her eyes.

“What do you want me to tell him, D? ‘Hey, Cal, I’m leaving in a few weeks but I’m super into you. Want to makeout and pretend everything is cool until I have to go?’ I don’t think that’s a great idea.” 

Evie knew that that was what they were already doing. They were avoiding the elephant in the room of her inevitable departure and enjoying their time, but they hadn’t done anything they couldn’t write off as friendship thus far. There were flirty jokes and kisses on cheeks but she could pretend that that was just the way she was. She could just leave it, blame it on her newfound sense of freedom, and that would be the end.

If she went any further, she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to come back from that.

“Not everything has to be so serious, Evie. Have fun. Be young! You’ve never had a summer fling so why don’t you just go for it? If you and Cal get serious, cool. You can come here for breaks and stay with me. If not, well, I’ll help you avoid him whenever you come to visit. Just stop thinking about it. He makes you happy, right?” When Evie nodded, Dahlia repeated the gesture. “Then just let him. Even if it’s only for a few weeks.”

Evie hated to admit it but Dahlia was right. She always dated with the intention of having it last forever and ended up having her heart broken when it didn’t. She wanted something real, something full of love and light, and hated the idea of wasting her time on someone who wouldn’t be a part of her future. However, she knew that she shouldn’t think that way. If she really enjoyed it, if she loved them and found herself better for having known them, it wasn’t a waste of time. Calum wasn’t a waste of time.

She wanted to enjoy herself, to have fun while she could, and even if Calum wasn’t going to make her happy forever, he was making her happy right now and that was all she could ask for.

By the time they made it to the beach, Evie with a blanket in one hand and a box that held a gift for Calum in the other, she’d made up her mind that a few weeks of bliss were worth more than months of heartache. She knew that, should things not work out, she would mourn her relationship with Calum as a devastating loss but she believed the old saying; to love and lose is better than to never love at all.

“What’s in the box?” Evie yelped, surprised by the sudden voice in her ear, and glared at Luke as he grinned. He still hadn’t given up, despite her obvious feelings for Calum, and she rolled her eyes as she nudged him away with her elbow. Undeterred, Luke remained at her side and stared curiously at the unmarked box she held in one hand.

“None of your business, Hemmings.” She paused, taking a good look at the towering blonde, before she frowned and asked, “What’d you do to your hair?” It was lighter than she’d seen it, and shorter, and she knew that neither were from the sun. Her assumption was proven correct when he grinned at her as he ran a hand through it.

“Cut it and bleached it. Wanted something new. What do you think?” 

Before she could answer, tell him that it was different but nice, Michael chimed in with, “Bullshit. He got gum in it so Crystal cut it for him and then he decided to bleach it just for the hell of it.”

Luke rolled his eyes but shrugged off Michael’s explanation as he kept his eyes on her. “I’m thinking about dying it pink but I can’t decide what shade. What d’you think?” He stared at her expectantly, a bright smile on his lips as he watched her shake her head and begin spreading her blanket on the sand.

“Pink would be nice. Pastel, rose gold, maybe?”

Luke looked contemplative, like he was seriously considering the pastel pink, and opened his mouth to speak when a different voice cut him off. “Don’t encourage him. Our bathroom is already stained from the time Ash dyed his hair red. And then black.” She felt her own grin grow wider as she spotted Calum and he returned it as he approached the pair of them and nudged her hip with his own. “What’s in the box?”

“Everyone is so nosy,” she teased, a laugh leaving her lips as she nudged the box to the side. “You’ll see. D’you bring the alcohol?”

Calum, the permanent bartender for their group, hummed his confirmation and held up a beach bag full of pre-made drinks. They were all things he knew each of them would like, bottles of their favorites ready for them to pour, and he handed it off to Michael as he cheered at the sight. He kept his eyes on the box, a curious glint that told her he wanted to pry, but ultimately left it alone as he helped Ashton begin the bonfire.

When the bonfire began to rage, the seven of them crowded around it and poured their respective drinks. It was better than the party they’d thrown for her on the first night, more her speed than anything they’d done thus far, and Evie felt at ease as she watched her friends enjoy their night.

Time seemed to both still and move much quicker as they sat around the bonfire. The sun sank below the horizon and the stars were shining bright in the sky as they sat around the fire for hours, just enjoying being together. They were a happy group, each interacting, but everyone had a distinct role and she could easily see it as they joked around.

Michael, who Evie was surprised to learn played guitar in his free time, strummed along to a song that she vaguely recognized as Crystal sat by his side and cheered him on. Ashton waxed philosophic about the state of the world and how beautiful the beach was at night with Dahlia curled into his side. Luke, who frowned every time Calum touched her, sat too close and bumped knees with her every time he laughed. And Calum, Calum was biting back his laughter every time she shifted closer to him to avoid it.

It was nice. She had friends but she’d never done anything like this. It was stereotypical California, a part of life she’d longed to experience, and she reveled in it as she let herself rest her head on Calum’s shoulder. She laughed at a joke Michael told and enjoyed the warmth the felt. She was pleasantly tipsy from the vodka pineapple Calum mixed just for her and would have been content to stay there forever, basking in the glow of the firelight and feeling Calum’s eyes on her, had he not nudged her side when the rest of the group began teasing Luke - lovingly - for his newly bleached hair.

“Want to go for a walk?” Calum’s voice was quiet, not wanting to draw attention to them as Luke whined at their teasing, and she nodded rather than voicing her agreement aloud.

He stood, offering his hand to her, and she took it readily. Before they began their walk, she grabbed the box to her side and grinned at Calum when he raised a curious eyebrow. Neither of them cared that the others spotted them and shared knowing looks and grins of their own, everyone except Luke had been urging them to share their feelings with one another since day one, as they set off down the beach.

Their hands found one another, fingers intertwined and swinging between them, just as they tended to at the rink and she bit her lip as she thought about what to say. She had so many things she wanted to tell him, a number of words she wanted to share, but opted to show him what was in the box instead as they found an uninhabited stretch of shore.

Calum looked slightly confused but said nothing as she pulled him to a stop and tugged her hand free of his. She spotted a smooth rock, a large enough surface for her to place the box on rather than putting it in the sand, and grinned when she dropped it and gestured for Calum to open it. “It’s for you,” she confirmed, a grin on her lips as she watched him furrow his brows and reach out to brush his fingers over the cardboard.

In the box rested a pair of skates, a bright yellow that Calum loved, and he lifted his head to look at her when he realized what they were. “You got me a pair of skates?”

“Mm. I figured I could teach you how to skate outside now. You’re good enough in the rink. Town’s getting crowded but Dolly’s neighborhood is empty most of the time and if you get confident enough, we can go to the skate park.” She fell silent for a moment, carefully choosing her next words, before she continued. “I…I just wanted to say thank you. No one has ever really taken an interest in my skating, you know? No one has ever sacrificed their off days for me or tried to teach me to do something like surfing. And no one has ever tried to help me figure out what I really want to do with my life so this is just something to say thank you.”

Calum looked stunned. His lips parted in surprise but his eyes softened as he took in the look on her face. She felt her cheeks heat as he stared at her, an unreadable look in his eyes, but she stayed quiet as she waited for him to speak. She didn’t want to embarrass herself by continuing to talk, regardless of what she wanted to say, so she left the conversation up to him.

As was becoming a theme for them, Calum took the opportunity to surprise her. He stepped closer to her, his hands lifting to brush his thumbs over her cheekbones, and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. It was soft, a barely there pressure that left Evie desperate for more, and he lingered close enough for her to feel his breath fan across her lips as he pulled away.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” It was a whisper, barely audible over the crashing waves, but she heard it clearly and shrugged. She knew that, she knew he didn’t expect anything from her, but she’d wanted to give him something. And the way she saw it, it was at least a little selfish. It was a way for them to spend more time together, to enjoy one another’s company, and she wanted all the time with him she could get.

But now, now that she’d gotten a chance to feel his lips against hers, she could think of nothing but kissing him again.

The skates and the words she wanted to share were forgotten as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back into her. He smiled into the kiss, glad that she was as eager to kiss him as he was her, and stepped closer. Their bodies melded together, his hands on her hips and her fingers in his hair, as their lips moved easily. There was no awkward adjustment, no tentative shuffling and hesitant hands. It was easy, natural, and Evie melted into his embrace.

Calum was steady and sure as he kissed her. He slowly guided her back against the rock, his fingers digging into her hips as he lifted her enough to sit on the edge, and never broke the kiss as her hands tugged at his bleached locks. He’d let it grow, it was a fraction longer than it had been when she met him, and she could see the slight curl whenever she took a moment to look.

His hands were warm against her skin as they brushed her thighs, his fingers dragging along the skin marred by skating accidents and general clumsiness. She sighed against his lips, content to remain in that moment, and Calum smiled.

“We don’t have to do anything.” His voice was reassuring, steady despite the breathy quality it took on, and she nodded.

“I know.” She did. She knew that he wouldn’t take anything she wasn’t willing to give, but she wanted to give him everything. She didn’t hesitate to return her mouth to his, her lips slotting into place as if they were made to kiss his, and brought her hands to slip beneath the hem of his t-shirt.

“You sure?” He wanted her consent, enthusiastic and unwavering, and she gave it to him without a second thought. A simple ‘yes’ and he nodded, his own thoughts disappearing as he crowded into her again and dipped his hands beneath the hem of her dress.

She wore another sundress, another vibrant blue that he loved to see, and they were both thankful for her forethought as his fingers brushed her panties. Her mind was clouded with lust and an overwhelming feeling of happiness, a joy she’d never felt in a situation like this, and she let it drown out everything else - the worry that someone might catch them, the fear that this would embed Calum in her heart and make it that much harder for her to let him go when it came time for her to leave - as she focused on the feeling of Calum’s hands against her skin and his lips against her own.

Her own hands brushed over his stomach, her nails lightly scraping his skin, and she grinned as she felt his stomach contract under her touch. She was glad to know that she had just as much of an effect on him as he had on her. With every sharp gasp, with every shaky breath, with every low hum of pleasure, she felt her own pleasure grow greater. His hands were steady, pleasantly rough from years of surfing, and they captured her full attention as he slipped his fingers beneath the band of her panties and brushed her folds.

“Please, Calum.” Her voice was breathless, eager and just as fucked as she felt, and she barely recognized it as she waited for him to move.

She wanted him, all of him, and he didn’t have to be told twice as he shifted his jeans down just enough to free himself and rolled a condom onto his length. Calum surrounded her, overwhelming her senses in the most pleasant way, and she felt her eyes slip shut and her mouth drop open in a silent moan as he entered her.

They let themselves express everything they’d kept quiet over the three weeks they’d danced around one another in their kisses and in the brushing of hands against skin. Everything she’d wanted to tell him, every worry she’d had and every wish she’d made, seemed to be conveyed with every brush of her lips against his. 

Every movement of his hips, every thrust he made, he returned the gesture and conveyed the thoughts he’d been keeping to himself. They let themselves be vulnerable, open and honest, and she felt such a heavy storm of emotions that catching her breath seemed impossible. 

Her release crashed over her, a wave of feeling hitting her and leaving her seeing stars, and she dug her fingers into Calum’s shoulders as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. A sharp gasp left her lips as she came, an intake of breath followed by a moan of Calum’s name, and he followed suit with a moan of his own. 

They remained locked in an embrace, his hands moving to her cheeks while hers looped around his neck, as they caught their breath. The sounds of their breath mingled with the crashing of waves and the far off sounds of their friends and others like them but Evie wouldn’t have traded her little slice of heaven for anything as Calum shifted away from her and straightened his clothes before helping her with her own. He settled onto the rock beside her, his arm around her shoulders, and smiled as she leaned into his side.

There was far too much for them to discuss, too many words that felt better left unsaid but needed to be brought out into the open, but neither of them wanted to destroy the bubble they’d built. Just as they’d done in the weeks leading up to this moment, they stayed quiet.

There would be another day, another time to decide where to go from here, so they settled for just enjoying the moment as it came and left it uncomplicated for yet another day.

************************

Following the night at the beach, Calum and Evie remained in a sort of limbo. They were happy, enjoying their time together and more connected than they had been before, but both knew that they needed to have a conversation about where they were going to go from there. They knew that they needed to talk about what they wanted and what would happen, that it needed to be spoken aloud, but neither could make themselves begin the conversation.

Were they dating? Were they friends with benefits? Was there more to them than a summer fling? Would they try to keep contact when Evie left? They both wondered these things but neither dared speak these questions aloud. Things were good, happy and easy, so neither wanted to complicate their joy with talk of feelings. Feelings were messy, hard and unpredictable, and either wanted anything more than happiness.

Weeks passed with their feelings left undisclosed, shared only in kisses and touches but never in concrete words, and their lives grew more and more intertwined. Where you found one, you could likely find the other. They spent their days skating and surfing, Evie cheering Calum on as he grew more confident in street skating and him returning the favor as she grew steadier on a surfboard. Their nights were spent at Jack’s, Evie trying her hand at making judgements based on drink orders, or in Evie’s bedroom at Dahlia’s. They were official in every way that mattered, partners in every sense of the word, only they had no idea what to say should anyone ask.

Despite that, despite the lingering uncertainty and the unspoken questions, Calum felt his heart swell with happiness with every moment he spent with her.

Her walls dropped the longer they knew one another and every fear she had, every worry she’d been harboring about her future, spilled past her lips in late night conversations held on the beach. They laid together, intertwined on a blanket as they listened to the crashing waves, and Calum felt himself surrendering to her parts of his past he’d never laid bare for anyone else. He told her about goals that he let go of and dreams that were shattered. He disclosed dreams that still lingered, far off and covered in cobwebs as he never allowed himself to consider them, and fell harder for her with every encouraging word that spilled past her lips.

They pushed one another, both desperate for the other to be happy and live the life they deserved, and he didn’t know how he’d gone so long without her. She was like the sun, bright and warm, and he’d been stuck in the dark for far too long.

Calum felt his chest tighten with his overwhelming affection for her - could he call it love when it had only been two months? No, that would be absurd - as he watched her sip her drink and watch the crowd that swarmed the bar. They were in Jack’s, surrounded by people, but he only had eyes for her. 

She’d grown more comfortable with her alcohol intake, had gotten used to drinking a little more than she had when she first arrived, and he once commented that he’d been right. She could drink them all under the table if she chose to do so and she seemed to be well on her way - or maybe she just didn’t realize how much she was drinking - as she downed another of his specialty drinks.

She’d convinced him to have a few drinks with her, not enough to impair his skills and not enough to draw the ire of his boss, and he felt a pleasant warmth color his cheeks as she turned her head and smiled at him.

“What’re you looking at?” Her voice was quiet in the din of the bar but he heard every word clearly. She was grinning, a smile that told him she knew exactly what he’d been looking at, and he returned it as he wiped at the counter where a customer beside her had spilled a bit of his drink.

“My girl.” It was his standard answer, safe enough for her to know he wanted her just as much as she wanted him without calling her his girlfriend, and it made her blush every time. Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink, a color that he loved to see on her, and she shook her head as she turned her gaze to the drink in front of her.

“When does your shift end?” She always changed the subject when he got too soft about their relationship, whatever it was, but this time he imagined it was less her desire to avoid talking about where they stood and more her alcohol-addled brain pushing her thoughts in a million different directions. “I got something I want to show you.”

“Is it as good as the last surprise you had for me?” The week before, he’d come home after a shift - one of the very few he’d spent without her in weeks - to find her lying in his bed. She wore nothing but blue lace and a smile and it was the best surprise - save for the skates she’d given him that night on the beach - he’d gotten in years.

“Mm, no.” She laughed at the exaggerated disappointment that made him shake his head and he grinned as she downed the rest of her drink. “But I do think you’ll like it. Maybe not as much but in a different way.”

“My shift ends in about an hour. You want another or are you done for the night?” He knew her answer, she had yet to get completely drunk and always stopped just shy of hammered, but he reveled in the delighted surprise on her face when he placed the correct drink, always a glass of water, in front of her. She looked at him with wide eyes, amazed that he’d gotten it right so quickly, and he always accepted the kiss on the cheek she gave him after.

For the remainder of his shift, she sat and nursed her water. He could feel her gaze on him whenever he moved, her bright eyes sparkling with the same affection he felt, and he shot her a wink or a smile whenever he had the chance to look away from whatever customer he was serving. He rarely worked a single shift but he was glad he had the chance to take one as his co-worker, a pretty brunette named Sierra that Luke had started falling for, entered the bar and grinned at him.

“Don’t look so excited to leave, Cal,” she teased as she tugged on her apron and glanced at the list of open tabs over his shoulder. It was longer than normal and she frowned. “Busy night?”

“Kind of. Mostly locals and a table of frat boys on the patio. I’ve got better shit to do with my night than hang out here.” He and Sierra both glanced at Evie. She sat in her seat, playing with the straw in her drink and dancing to the song that they could only vaguely make out over the noise, and he smiled as he watched her.

“Happy looks good on you, Cal.” He was always surprised when people noticed a difference in him but Sierra wasn’t the first person to comment on his change in demeanor. He was happier more often now that Evie was in his life, the past traumas and lingering darkness he had yet to share with her no longer weighing as heavily on his chest, and he briefly wondered if that happiness would fade when she left.

However, before he could lose himself in the darkness, he shot Sierra a smile that he hoped didn’t look forced and nodded when he brushed past her. “It feels good.” And it did. He had to work at it, try his best to keep the darkness from blotting it out, but it felt better than anything ever had.

“Ready to go?” After Evie said goodbye to Sierra, Calum guided her out of Jack’s and tossed his arm over her shoulders as they wandered the streets leading to the beach. His surprise was waiting for them there and he couldn’t even begin to think of what she might’ve done as they descended the stairs and he held her close to keep her from falling over.

When they reached the section of beach that they jokingly referred to as theirs, she grinned at him. “Wait right there. Close your eyes, okay?” He made a show of closing his eyes and placed his hands over them when she tapped her foot impatiently against the sand. Her giggle made him grin and he waited patiently for her to give him permission to open his eyes. “Okay. You can look!”

He opened his eyes to find her blocked from view by a surfboard, one that looked alarmingly familiar, and he felt his brows furrow in confusion as he stared at it. It looked exactly like his old one, one that had been destroyed the day his dreams died, and he had no idea where she got it or if she knew what it meant to him.

“D’you like it? I can’t take all the credit. Ash had it in his shop and said he’s been working on it for you. I helped paint it but that’s about it. They wouldn’t let me use any of the tools. He said it was important to you and that it was your first board. I told him he should give it to you but he wanted me to do it so…” She trailed off, aware of his lack of response, and poked her head out from behind the board to get a look at him.

He didn’t speak, he wasn’t sure that he could, as he took the board from her hands and ran his fingers over the refinished surface. It looked so familiar yet so different from the last time he’d seen it. The cracks were gone, the lines and scratches from where he wiped out time and time again, but the biggest difference was that it was whole again. The lat time he’d seen it, it was broken into two pieces and lying discarded on the sand as he coughed up water and listened to the wail of sirens as an ambulance took one of his friends, another surfer that had been like a brother to him and Luke, away. He was fifteen at the time, scared shitless and broken beyond repair when his brother left the hospital in a hearse, and the board served as a reminder of everything he wanted to forget.

It was a reminder of the darkness that lingered in his chest and he wanted to be grateful for such a thoughtful gift but he couldn’t bring himself to choke out the words of thanks that he knew she was hoping for. He wanted to drop the board in the sand and tell her just how badly the accident fucked with his head but he couldn’t do anything except stare at the board in his hands.

“I… I get it if you hate it. Ash said it might not be a good idea to give it to you but he wouldn’t tell me why. And Luke got this look in his eye but didn’t say anything so maybe I misread everything. I’m sorry. I brought another board, a different one, if you still want to surf. I know it’s late but there’s enough light for one trip out. We didn’t get to go this morning and it doesn’t feel like a complete day without it.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” His voice was quiet and she looked sad when he finally looked at her. “You’ve had too much to drink and neither of us are in our bathing suits. We’ll go in the morning.”

He completely ignored the board, not acknowledging the elephant on the beach at all, and she bit her lip in contemplation as she stared at him. “I’m okay. And I’m wearing my bathing suit. I have yours but if you don’t want to go in, that’s fine. Maybe you can just watch from here? I won’t go out far.”

“Don’t be stupid fucking, Evie. You’re barely able to stand on a board in daylight, sober. You’ll fucking kill yourself if you go out here drunk in the dark. Come on, I’ll take you back to Dahlia’s.” It was harsher than he’d ever been with her, he knew that, but he was rattled at seeing the board and being reminded of something he was finally starting to forget. He could see the look on her face, a look of disappointment and a flash of anger, and he knew that it was only made worse by the alcohol she’d consumed. 

“I’m not being stupid and I don’t want to go home. You can go if you want but I’m going to get in the water. Leave the board, I’ll take it back to Ash and he can put it in storage or something.” She was being childish, petulant that she didn’t get her way, and Calum was reminded of the girl he’d imagined she would be before he met her. 

She was the L.A. brat who pouted when she didn’t get her way but he knew that wasn’t her. She was only acting out because she felt slighted, hurt by his lack of communication and his sudden shift in mood, and he moved to apologize. His hand brushed her exposed shoulder and he frowned as she shrugged him off. “Don’t touch me.” She nudged him away and tugged off her dress, exposing the neon green bikini he was so fond of. 

“Seriously, Evie, don’t be an idiot. Yell at me or give me the silent treatment but do it on land and we’ll talk about this in the morning.” He reached for her again, determined to stop her from going out into the water, but she dodged his hand and grabbed her own board.

He thought about chasing after her, he knew that he should have, but he just stood and watched as she ran into the water. He kept his eyes on her, annoyance surging through him at her sudden decision to be rebellious, and wondered if this would be their first - and possibly last - fight. It was stupid, something that should have never even come up, and he knew that they were both overreacting. He needed to tell her exactly what the board meant to him and why he reacted the way he had but she also needed to understand that he was serious and concerned for her safety.

He understood that she was getting the freedom she’d always wanted and making decisions for herself but that decision didn’t need to be a life ending one.

True to her word, she didn’t go out farther than she had the very first time she’d gone surfing, but it was still deep enough to worry him. He could see the neon of her bikini in the dark, bright against the blackness of the ocean, and he was grateful for it in a very different way as it helped him keep track of her. There were few waves and he hoped that she would give up, her tipsy brain would realize it was stupid and that she would come back to shore before she could even try to surf, but he could see the waves forming and knew that she was going to try and ride it.

He was surprised when she managed to stand on her board and ride the wave, her footing steady and her form better than he’d seen it, and felt a wave of relief wash over him as she began moving closer. But before he could relax entirely, he watched her fall into the water. It was as if time slowed as he waited for her to emerge from the water. He wanted her to pop up and grin at him, happy that she’d done such a brilliant job right up until the end, but seconds passed and she was nowhere to be seen.

He knew that she would never try to scare him, not really, and that she was a strong swimmer. However, her abilities were impaired and it was dark. There was no telling what happened to her when she fell and he didn’t stop to think as he rushed into the water. He only paused to throw his phone into the sand, should he need it, before he went searching for her.

He swam to the spot he thought he’d last seen her and dove, his arms sweeping the water as he tried his hardest to find her. His own lungs burned from the lack of oxygen and he couldn’t imagine what she must be thinking - if she was still thinking anything at all - as he swam to the surface to inhale a breath of air. He called her name, hopeful that she had surfaced, but when he was met with silence, he dove back down.

He wasn’t a big believer in miracles but when his hands hit something warm and solid, he prayed that he’d been on the receiving end of one. He gripped what he was glad to discover was her arm and tugged, pulling her up and out of the water. She was limp, not breathing, and he struggled to get her to the shore. When he finally dragged her into the sand, he hoped beyond hope that he hadn’t been too late and used the CPR they’d all learned after the fatal accident to try and keep her with him.

The time that passed between him starting CPR and her coughing up lungfuls of water was only seconds but it felt like decades as he waited for her to come back to him. When she did, he breathed a sigh of relief and dropped his head as she groaned. She was clearly disoriented, uncertain as to what happened, and he didn’t know if he wanted to shake her or kiss her. Instead of doing either, he reached for his phone and called Dahlia to let her know what happened. 

The ride to the hospital was a blur, with Ashton and Dahlia questioning him and Evie groaning as she laid in his lap. She would be fine physically, he knew that, and if anyone could bounce back from nearly drowning, it would be her. However, he didn’t know how he felt.

He’d had a flashback to one of the worst days of his life, watching one of his best friends die on the beach, and he had feared the same thing was going to happen to the girl he loved. He knew it, that he was in love with her, and it scared the hell out of him. He was going to lose her in a few weeks and the future he’d been afraid of suddenly felt all too real. It was all pressing in on him, suffocating, and when Evie was safely in a room with Dahlia by her side, he did something he never thought he’d do again.

He ran.

*************************

Evie woke up with no real recollection of the night before. She felt the vague sense of guilt, a lingering feeling that told her she’d done something wrong, that came with drinking too much but she wasn’t sure why. The more pressing question was why it hurt to breathe and why there was a steady beeping that sounded eerily like a heart monitor.

Her fears were confirmed when she spotted the white walls of a hospital room and the telltale monitor by her bedside. She had a hospital bracelet wrapped around her wrist and bruises on her arms but that told her nothing about the night she’d had. She was alone in her room, unsure of why she was there in the first place, and unsure of what she should do next as she stared down at the bracelet on her wrist.

“Fuck, thank God you’re awake.” Dahlia stepped into the room, a cup of coffee in one hand and a bag with what Evie hoped were clothes for her in the other, and rushed forward when she realized Evie had returned to the land of the living. “What were you thinking? E, that was so fucking stupid. Be glad Calum was there and he’s a strong swimmer. You could’ve died.”

“What happened?” Her night was returning in flashes, she remembered Calum telling her something similar, but she couldn’t piece together what landed her in the hospital. “I remember going to Jack’s but not much else.”

“You got drunk and tried to go surfing in the dark. What the fuck possessed you to do that?” Dahlia didn’t hide her disappointment as she dropped the bag that did, in fact, hold Evie’s clothes onto the bed.”Seriously, Evie, do you have a death wish?”

Evie was stunned to hear that she’d done something so reckless. She didn’t think she was that drunk, she didn’t remember drinking enough to make her do something so stupid, but apparently she had been. “No. Fuck, I don’t know. I…” She trailed off, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she tried to remember exactly what had driven her into the ocean, and found her memory of the night returning in more solid fragments. “We didn’t get to surf yesterday. I wanted to make up for it. I gave him a board Ash has been fixing for him and he called me stupid. I don’t know why I went into the water when he wouldn’t but I felt like I had to. It felt really important.”

“Everything feels really important when you’re hammered, you moron. Fuck, how do you feel?” Dahlia softened as she watched Evie rub at her chest, the soreness of her body hitting her as she tried to talk, and she reached out to grab the cup of water the nurse had brought by.

“I’m fine. Feel like I got hit by a truck but I’m assuming I almost drowned and that’s why.”

“The doctor said you’d be sore for a bit. But there was no lasting damage.” Ashton stepped into the room, a soft smile that she had never seen him wear on his lips, and stood behind Dahlia as he ran his hand along her shoulders. “You got lucky, Evie.”

“Yeah.” She paused, examining both Ashton and Dahlia, before she glanced around the room for any sign that Calum had been there. She worried that she’d made him angry, that she’d hurt him more than she meant to - she hadn’t meant to hurt him at all -, and when she didn’t spot any sign of him, she frowned. “Where’s Cal?”

Ashton and Dahlia exchanged a look that she didn’t like but Dahlia was the one to tell her, “He left.”

“Left? Where’d he go?” Evie knew that he was likely furious and that she’d probably scared him more than she realized but for him to not be there when she awoke was disappointing. She felt her heart sink and couldn’t stop herself from slumping against the pillows as she waited for Dahlia or Ashton to explain.

They both remained silent for a moment, neither sure what to tell her, and she almost asked again but when Dahlia looked at her, when she met her eyes and shot her a look that was full of both disappointment and pity, Evie remained silent herself.

“What happened when you gave him the board? I found it on the beach near your clothes.” Ashton was curious but Evie could tell there was something more behind his question.

“He didn’t say anything. He just got quiet and stared at it. I told him I’d give it back to you and let you store it somewhere and then he told me that I could barely surf in daylight so it was stupid to go out at night and then I went into the water. He kind of looked like he saw a ghost when he stared at it. I don’t get why he freaked out about it. It’s just a board.”

The whole thing was, to her, out of character for him. He was reserved, only sharing pieces of his past when she asked, but he talked to her. He told her what he was thinking and didn’t hesitate anymore to let her in. He had secrets, she knew that, but she’d been under the impression that he would have told her if something were really wrong. But she’d only known him for two months. How much could you really get to know someone in such a short period of time?

“That was his first board.” Ashton shifted uncomfortably, his arms folded over his chest as he looked away from both her and Dahlia, and Evie realized that Dahlia wasn’t in on the secret either. “I hadn’t known them long, a few months, maybe? We were friends but not like we are now. He and Luke had another friend, Alex, who was like a brother to them. They were out one day, trying out bigger waves and just fucking around, but it was a bad day for surfing. There was a storm and the waves were shit. They wouldn’t listen to anyone telling them to come in, though. And before someone could go out and get them, they both went down. It was bad, nothing I’d ever seen before. There were pieces of board floating back to shore and people scrambling to get out to them because we knew they’d at least be injured if they came up on their own. Cal nearly drowned and Alex did.”

“Fuck, no one ever told me that.” Dahlia was the first to speak, her surprise evident as she glanced over her shoulder at Ashton. “I mean, I never would’ve guessed. Cal still surfs and no one has ever mentioned anything about Alex.”

“It was a rough time and they just wanted to forget it. It’s why they both stuck around here. Cal started playing soccer with Alex and he was good. He was getting scouted, probably would’ve gotten a scholarship, but after Alex died, he stopped playing. He stopped doing everything, really. You remember what he was like when you first met him.” 

When Evie frowned and Dahlia nodded, Dahlia turned her attention to Evie and explained, “He was reserved, quiet. Not really in on the joke or a part of the group. He was just… here. Like, now he’s funny and goofy but it’s taken time. I thought he was just warming up to me.” She turned to Ashton and asked, “When he disappeared, it wasn’t just him working a lot, was it?”

“No. He ran away after Alex died. He disappeared for two weeks and, honestly, none of us ever asked where he went. We figured he’d tell us if he wanted to and he never did. But for a while, he’d just… run. Every few months, we’d wake up and Cal was gone. Sometimes Mali, his sister, went with him. Sometimes he went on his own. But he always came back after a few days and never wanted to talk about it. He hasn’t run in a little over a year so we figured he was getting better. I shouldn’t have let you give him the board. I just figured since he’s been so happy with you, it might not be as hard on him.”

To say that Evie was stunned would have been an understatement. Calum told her that he’d played soccer and that he’d wanted to play in college but he hadn’t told her why that dream had fallen through. He told her that plans had changed and that his future was no longer as set in stone as he’d wanted it to be but, again, he hadn’t told her why. And she was more concerned with happiness, with keeping things light and easy, than with getting the full story. She wanted a carefree summer and asking what destroyed his future wasn’t exactly part of the plan so she’d kept her questions to herself and enjoyed the kisses he gave her to distract her from prying.

“It’s fitting that we found each other.”

Ashton was confused, unsure of what she meant, but the look on Dahlia’s face told Evie that she understood. Evie could see the subtle shake of her head, a cue for Ashton not to ask, and she was grateful. She didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t want to talk at all. Her throat felt raw and there was a feeling of unease washing over her. It was as if the entire thing was a bad dream, something she would wake up from, and she wondered where exactly Calum had run to and when he would return.

However, in the three weeks she spent in town after Calum disappeared, she never got an answer. Not that she expected one. Dahlia told her that none of the guys knew and she believed them. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t left wondering. She thought about it, late at night when she laid awake in bed. She spent the three weeks she had left in Dahlia’s guest bedroom reflecting on her relationship with Calum.

It wasn’t love, she knew that, but it was the closest she’d ever gotten. He’d felt like a missing piece, a part of her life that she hadn’t known she needed until she found him, and she wondered how she was supposed to return to her life with the knowledge that he was out there somewhere, just waiting for her to find him. But she couldn’t dwell, she wouldn’t let herself.

When the three weeks were up and she was due to return to L.A. to prepare for her final year of university, she went back to the beach for the first time since she nearly drowned. She hadn’t left Dahlia’s house much, only to take a walk around the block when she got stir crazy, and hadn’t put on her skates since she left the hospital. She didn’t really feel like it, not when she had gotten used to skating with Calum, and packed up her skates before she packed anything else.

When she packed up her room, she left a box on her bed full of things that reminded of her Calum. She wanted to take the polaroids, the few photo booth pictures they’d taken on the boardwalk, the stuffed dog he won her at a carnival, but she knew that they would only hurt to look at down the road. She didn’t regret falling for Calum, not even as she felt her heart break over when she looked at a photo of them sitting on the boardwalk as Calum attempted to lace his skates for the first time, but she wondered if she still would’ve fallen had she known what she was signing up for.

They were more alike than they were different, she realized that now, and she wondered if that was what drew her to him in the first place. They were two sides of the same coin and even if she tried to deny it, she loved him enough to hold him in her heart. He would remain there, a question of what could’ve been that she feared she would never be able to answer, and she hoped she would remain in his heart. She wished she would’ve abandoned her dream of a carefree summer and let herself delve deeper into feelings and thoughts and emotions with Calum but she didn’t regret any of it.

And any time she had a vodka pineapple, she knew that she would think of him.

*****************

EPILOGUE - 1 Year Later (May)

“Dolly, I really wish I could have made it but I had an exam at four. I wouldn’t have gotten in before the party was over. I’m sorry.”

Evie stood at the edge of Dahlia and Ashton’s backyard, just far enough from the noise for it to go unnoticed on the phone but close enough to see some of the partygoers as she waited, and bit her lip to hide her grin as she waved at Ashton. Unsurprisingly, he looked shocked to see her and didn’t bother to hide his own grin as Dahlia’s shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“No, that’s okay. School comes first. I get it.” She heard Dahlia heave a heavy sigh as she held her finger up to her lips as a signal for Ashton to keep quiet. He nodded and placed a reassuring hand on Dahlia’s shoulder as she said, “But you’ll have to come up soon. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, D. You’ll see me soon, I promise.” It was hard, standing back and waiting for the perfect moment to surprise her cousin when she hadn’t seen her in nearly a year, but Evie lingered near the sidewalk as she spoke with Dahlia.

“I better. I need a hug.” Dahlia went quiet for a second, seemingly hesitating, and Evie knew what she was going to ask before the words left her lips. “Is this about…?”

Calum.

Dahlia never said his name, she never asked how Evie felt after her summer with Calum that ended in heartbreak and no real closure, and Evie had been glad at first. She hadn’t wanted to talk about it, she hadn’t felt the need to talk about it, but when she got home to an empty apartment and an overwhelming amount of school work, everything she repressed started to bubble to the surface. So when the nightmares started, she’d talked it out with her therapist.

And she was fine.

“No, D. I really have been busy.” It wasn’t a lie. She was two weeks away from graduation and it seemed like every deadline was hitting her right at the same time. But she couldn’t miss her cousin’s engagement party, not when she had been promised the maid of honor job practically the moment Ashton proposed, so she busted her ass to finish what she could and shoved whatever books she would need into her bag to finish her paper before driving back to the city on Sunday. 

The thought of seeing Calum hadn’t even crossed her mind.

“Good. Well, I’ll let you get back to it. I love you, E.”

“Love you, too, D.”

Evie ended the call and pocketed her phone before she took a deep breath and stared at the new home Dahlia and Ashton shared. It was beautiful, a dream home for the both of them, and she was glad. They deserved happiness, they deserved one another, and she was proud that they were getting their happy ending. 

She scanned the faces she could see milling about the backyard and she spotted all of the friends she’d somewhat kept in touch with since leaving. She hadn’t meant to let her relationship with them all fall away but with her schedule and the awkwardness that came with avoiding the subject of Calum - something they all did, whether consciously or not - they had tapered off and she wondered how they would react to seeing her again. Luke was the first person she spotted, his arms wrapped around Sierra with a grin on his lips as he laughed at his own joke. Then there was Michael, standing with his arm around Crystal’s shoulders and shaking his head at whatever terrible joke had obviously left Luke’s lips. Dahlia and Ashton were there, too, looking more in love than ever and beaming with joy as they were surrounded by friends and family.

She and Calum were the only noticeable absences.

She knew that he was back in town, or he had been, anyway. He returned not long after she left and she knew that he’d finally told Ashton, at least, where he went when he disappeared and exactly why he ran. But no one ever told her and she wasn’t going to ask them to. It wasn’t their place, it wasn’t her place, so she left it alone. Dahlia didn’t mention him and she didn’t ask. Whenever they spoke and she heard Calum’s voice in the background, she noticed that Dahlia left the room or made an excuse to end the call. She imagined they were trying to protect her but she didn’t need protecting.

She was fine.

She repeated that to herself as she weaved through the crowd in the backyard. It reminded her of the party Dahlia had thrown her almost a year before and she wondered how time had flown that fast. A part of her missed that, before she knew what the rest of the summer would hold, but she still didn’t regret it. It was, all things considered, still the best summer she’d ever had and she was grateful for it as she made eye contact with Luke and shot him a bright grin.

He realized what she was trying to do, who she was there for, and kept quiet as she approached their group. But the smile he wore was enough proof that regardless of her own disappearing act, she hadn’t been forgotten. Michael spotted Evie next and Crystal had to keep him from blurting out her name. And by the time she was behind Dahlia, everyone knew that she was there except her cousin and they all watched expectantly as she reached out and tapped her on the shoulder.

She looked different, a far cry from the Evie she had been when they’d last seen her, and Dahlia had to pause to take it all in. Her hair was cut short, a blunt shoulder length style that made her cry when she first chopped it, and she wore an outfit that was mostly black rather than her typical bright colors but the smile that she wore was entirely Evie.

After a pause, Dahlia launched herself at Evie and wrapped her arms around her tight. She was glad to see her, surprised and thrilled and overwhelmed, and Evie could tell as Dahlia wiped at her cheeks. “You little shit. That was so mean, I was so sad!”

“You should’ve known better, D. There was no way I could miss this.” Evie laughed as Dahlia continued to wipe at her cheeks and shook her head before turning her attention to Ashton. “Congratulations, guys. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks, Evie. I’m glad you could make it.” She’d proposed the idea to Ashton weeks ago but hadn’t been completely sold on it until that morning. It was a last minute decision, an impulsive act that she normally wouldn’t have undertaken, and she could see that he was glad she’d finally settled on coming. “We all missed you.”

She heard murmurs of agreement from the group as they all piled in on her and she laughed as arms wrapped around her. She patted whoever she could reach, though she wasn’t sure who she was returning the affection to, and laughed as someone tugged at her hair.

No one addressed the obvious elephant in the room as they all grinned and caught up. No one mentioned Calum as they asked her what she’d been up to. Everyone congratulated her when she told them she was headed to Stanford in the fall and expressed their sorrow when she sheepishly admitted she hadn’t gone skating in months - she wasn’t going to tell them but she’d tried, when she got back to L.A., and found that it had lost some of its joy. But no one lingered on the sad when they all began sharing happy news of their own. Michael and Crystal were also engaged, Luke and Sierra had moved in together and had gotten a dog named Petunia - one she gleefully accepted the invitation to come meet -, and everyone was moving on with their lives.

They all seemed to content, so happy with their places in life, and she was happy for them. But she felt as if she wasn’t a real part of the conversation as she’d missed so much and excused herself to go get a drink when she’d finally had enough of being on the periphery of conversation.

There was an actual bar at their new home, near the pool, and she was almost disappointed that she didn’t see Calum behind it. But that disappointment was replaced by confusion as she sat down and a drink was placed in front of her before she could order. It was a vodka pineapple, still her drink of choice, and she stared at it with a frown on her lips.

“You don’t really look like a vodka pineapple girl anymore but I figured it was still your drink.”

Evie had imagined seeing Calum again. She imagined how she would react and what exactly would happen and in every situation, she saw herself uttering some witty quip or maybe a simple response to whatever he had to say to her - if he had anything to say at all. But she never imagined she would freeze. Hearing his voice was like a shot of ice water through her veins and she found herself unable to move as she felt him moving closer to her.

She kept her eyes on the drink in front of her, watching as drops of condensation rolled down the sides, and tensed as he leaned against the bar beside her. It was strange, feeling anything but ease around Calum, but she felt almost hollow as she waited for him to speak again. And when he did, she realized that she wasn’t as fine as she thought she was.

“I’m sorry I ran, Evie.”

“It doesn’t matter.” It did, it mattered more than she was willing to admit. “Water under the bridge now.”

Calum had always been able to read her better than anyone she’d ever met. He could see through her smiles, pinpoint the exact emotion behind her words, and this time was no different. He knew her better than she knew herself, even if he’d only known her for a few months, and she heard him breathe a deep sigh as he lifted his own drink to take a sip.

“Ash told you what he knew, right?” She didn’t respond, didn’t indicate that she’d even heard him, but that didn’t stop him. “I shouldn’t have run. But everything was overwhelming. When Alex died, running was easier than facing it. And every time I started thinking too much, running let me get it out of my head. I always went to this spot a few towns over. There’s a beach there that’s the perfect place to surf. I’d sit on the shore and watch the waves and just forget about my life for a little while. It kept me from doing something stupid.”

Evie didn’t know what he wanted her to say. She didn’t know what she wanted to say. So she sipped her drink and kept silent as Calum rolled on.

“When I met you, I was getting better at controlling my emotions. I could distract myself a little easier. Falling in love with you was a good distraction, too. It was more than just a distraction but it made things easier. And when you almost drowned, I… I don’t know. Something snapped and I couldn’t deal. I shouldn’t have left but I couldn’t stay.”

“I really don’t know what you want me to say, Calum. I’m sorry about Alex. I know that there’s a lot of trauma left and that it was hard on you. I’m sorry that I was being an idiot and that I put myself, and you, in that position. I shouldn’t have done that and I haven’t stepped foot in the water since that day. But beyond that, I don’t really know what else we have to talk about.”

There was a lot left to talk about. She caught it when he said he’d fallen in love with her, she caught it when he said that being with her made things easier. But that was a year ago and they couldn’t change the year and the miles that separated them.

“I missed you.”

She wasn’t expecting that and she lifted her head to glance at him. He looked different, just as she did. His bleach blonde locks were gone and replaced by a buzzcut. But when she met his eyes for the first time in nearly a year, her Calum was shimmering beneath the surface.

“You don’t have to tell me you missed me, too. I just… I just wanted you to know. Dahlia told me you got into Stanford. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” She hesitated, unsure of whether she should tell him that no one would tell her what he was up to, but ultimately decided that she wanted to keep the conversation going. “What have you been up to?”

He looked surprised that she was willingly talking to him but his lips quirked into a barely there grin as he watched her sip her drink. “I was saving up to move to L.A. but I changed my mind. I, um, I’m saving up to buy Jack’s.”

“You want to buy Jack’s?” Evie was surprised, to say the least. The last time she’d talked to him, Calum couldn’t wait to leave so to hear that he was actively planning to stay confused her.

Calum shrugged, a small smile on his lips as he brought his hand to the back of his neck. “I’ve been there for a while now and I love it. I like bartending more than anything else I’ve tried and I’ve learned to be happy here. I’m learning to be happy in general.”

“That’s good, then. I know that you love Jack’s so it’ll be in good hands with you at the helm.”

The conversation tapered off, neither of them sure what to say, and Evie felt her stomach churn at the silence. It was awkward and she hadn’t felt like this around him since they first met. But she didn’t know what else there was to be said. She wanted to ask him if he thought of her, if he regretted leaving, if he still loved her. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Calum, however, spoke without her needing to. “Can we start over? Even if we can’t go back to what we were, can we at least be friends? We’re going to be seeing each other again. I’m Ash’s best man.”

She stared at him, unsure of what she wanted and if she even wanted to talk to him outside of the wedding, and watched as he gave her the most hopeful glance she’d seen from him. So she nodded. “I’m Evie.” She held out her hand, much as she had the day they met, and offered him a small but sincere smile.

“Calum.” He grasped her hand in his, still warm and reigniting the flurry of butterflies in the pit of her stomach that she believed was long gone, and lingered as he said, “Nice to meet you.”

The glow of the golden hour, the light that made Calum look even more beautiful than he already was, washed over them both as they stood in Dahlia and Ashton’s backyard. The world around them ceased to exist and it was like the day they met all over again. Evie didn’t know what the future held for them, or if there was a future for them at all, but that was fine.

There were still questions, still moments of hurt and anger and things she needed to work through, but the answers would come in time. And everything was fine.

_______________________________

Author’s Note: I have no idea what this is. But I hope you like it. It took two weeks and I’m very tired.

Tag List (like this post or message me if you want to be added!): @toolazymyguy , @irwinkitten , @jamieebabiee , @glittersluke , @spicycal , @lusbaby , @everyscarisahealingplace, @brokenvirtualheartcollector , @if-it-rains-it-pours, @blisshemmings , @calumscalm , @lovemenowseemenever , @ijustreallylovezebras , @rhiannonmichelle, @p0laroidpictures , @tomscuddles , @loverofmineluke , @harrytreatspeoplewithkindnesss , @blueviiolence , @loveroflrh , @empathycth , @luckyduckydoo , @tobefalling , @bandsandbooksaremykink , @watch-how-she-burns , @megz1985, @wokeupinaustralia , @lucidlrh , @canterburyfiction , @cal-is-not-on-branding , @t-i-n-y-d-i-n-o , @jaacknaano , @findingliam-o , @mindkaleidoscope​ , @idk-who-i-am-anymore1 , @sammyrenae68 , @flowerthug , @calumsphile , @caitdaniels, @drummerboy794 , @writingfortoomanyfandoms , @x-lover-of-mine-x , @miliefayy , @sunaaii , @canterburyfiction , @sebrox40 , @nati-nn , @opheliaaurora23 , @bitterbethany , @sunnysidesblog​ , @333-xx​

#calum hood smut #calum hood imagine #calum hood imagines #5 seconds of summer smut #5sos smut #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer imagines #5sos imagine #5sos imagines #5sos fanfiction #5sos stories #5sos fanfic #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #5 seconds of summer preferences #5 seconds of summer preference #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fanfiction #calum hood preference #calum hood x oc #calum hood angst #calum hood au #surfer!calum #5sos au #5 seconds of summer au #5sos angst

[gongju-juice]

9. Once Upon a Southern Night

Not So Far-Fetched

Warnings: SMUT, language, fluff, and a little angst

The wedding was absolutely perfect. Of course, Alice designed the entire affair, everybody else but you and Jasper a slave to her incessant ordering.

You got married on a sunny day back in the country, just a few miles Jasper’s old home town which was nestled far out into secluded woods with a grand, wooden barn and southern mansion nearby a quiet stream

Your dress was sleeveless and made of immaculate white silk that trailed behind you in the rose petal walkway to your groom, standing under a flower arch of candles and flowers. Alice, Rosalie, and Amelia were your bridesmaids—and Ivy, though she whined and cried from home—was not invited.

And when the wedding was over, Jasper flew you out to Havana where a pastel yellow house waited on the shoes of the beach. Little antique cars zoomed past on the streets, people danced in skimpy swimsuits, lovers toured the old buildings, hands entwined.

But you weren’t even interested in all of that. That was second priority. All you wanted was to be underneath the man you’d been lusting for over two years now. And he seemed to sense your urgency, for he immediately rushed the both of you to your villa without any side trips or excursions.

He got busy taking care of the luggage and dealing with the house attendants as they stocked the kitchen with food. Meanwhile, you made a nest of the bathroom. 

Dropping your suitcase on the tiled floor, you laid out all your supplies and filled the tub with bubbles and hot water. Alice and Rosalie had packed an “essential” bag of lingerie, but you thought it would be best to save it for later. Tonight, there would be no lace or fancy ribbons. You would be yourself, and you would reveal yourself to your husband just like you shamefully imagined yourself doing before. 

You opened the french style bathroom doors and stepped into the humid room. The ceiling fan whirred uselessly overhead, creating more noise than comfort, adding only to your anxiety and nervousness. You tightened your arms around your waist and moved forward.

Jasper was on the other side of the room staring out over the balcony. The moon shone down on his wavy hair, creating a silvery effect that slowly faded into the warm candlelight of the bedroom. 

When he turned around, you were already tugging at the ties of your robe. The candles flickered and in a heartbeat, he was standing in front of you, his icy breath on your lips. He lowered your hands and began undoing the fabric himself.

To his delight, there was nothing underneath. It was silent as he took in your bare form, his piercing gaze sweeping over the hills of your breast, the curvature of your hips and thighs. Never before had you felt so exposed, so completely and utterly vulnerable and especially nervous.

What if you did something wrong? What if he didn’t like what he saw? What if you accidentally humiliated yourself?

“Y/N,” he hummed, putting his hands on the top of your shoulders. “I can feel everything you feel. And, you’re worried. I won’t go any further until you tell me you’re ready. We can stop now, and I won’t touch you like that at all, if that’s what you want. I just want you to be okay.”

You bit your lip but vehemently shook your head. Of course you were nervous. It was your wedding night. To not feel anything at all was a sign of trouble. 

But you wanted him. Your feeling of desire overwhelmed any sense of anxiousness, and it made you breathless with how tangible it all seemed. It was often you could lay awake at night and think of being with him. With seven other vampires around, your every move was heard and monitored even if they didn’t intend to invade your privacy. And Jasper sat on the edge of your bed as you slept, too traditional to venture under the covers most of the time. The want had been building and boiling inside of you, waiting to be unleashed.

“I want you,” you whimpered. “Please, I can’t wait any longer.”

Gracefully, he scooped you into his arms and carried you to the canopied bed where he had already rearranged the pillows at least twice. 

Perhaps, you thought, he was nervous too.

But before you could contemplate this theory any longer, his eyes dropped dangerously to the apex of your thighs where your arousal had obscenely gathered. He licked his lips and cradled your hips with his strong arms. 

“Fuck, this is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen since you walked down that aisle,” he declared, admiring your writhing regions in his deepest drawl yet. It was funny, the more excited Jasper became, the thicker his accent became. 

Before he continued, however, he began by kissing every inch of your skin. He started from the vein just behind your left ear before making his way down the crevice of your collarbones, down the valley of your breasts, slowly and teasingly trailing down to the place you really wanted him to be.

But once he made it to your pelvic bone, he placed your legs over his shoulders, a smirk on his face. You’re sure you were wide-eyed, your features twisted into a blissful grimace of unfulfilled need and throbbing ache.

He delved his tongue into your folds, sucking and kissing hungrily like a predator bearing down on its prey. His eyes darkened into a shade of burnt umber. It must’ve been so tempting to be that close to all those vital vessels and not give in to the burning instinct to drink you dry. Instead, he channeled all of that desire and yearning into eating your pussy like a starved man.

“Jasper,” you screamed, “Oh god, I—you’re so—it’s so—”

“You’re feeling everything I’m feeling,” he admitted, ripping through the buttons of his shirt. “And everything I’m feeling is you.”

You understood. It was a continual, never-ending loop of love and pleasure that he had shared with you. This was exaltation, better than any human drug or stimulant. It was just you and your husband making love for the first time, consummating your marriage as countless other lovers had done before but infinitely different and unique.

“I can’t take it anymore! Please, just do it! I want you inside me so badly, Jas,” you hyperventilated as you assisted him as he undid his belt and zipper, the rest of his offensive attire falling to the floor. Now there was nothing standing in between you and your man.

“Patience, darlin’,” he hummed, pushing you up against the headboard in a way that did not seem so patient in itself. By this point, your vision was beginning to go white from the sheer excitement, and in that moment, you hated him for deriving you from the immediate pleasure. He was taking his time, savoring the image of your desperate expressions in his photographic mind.

He pressed his cock unto your clit, rubbing tiny little circles with the tip of his dick—only contributing to your frustration and utter annoyance. 

“Just do it, please! I want you to fucking ruin me.”

His eyes widened. “My baby girl has a dirty mouth, doesn’t she? I’ll have to deal with that later, but since you asked so nicely—”

He thrust into you suddenly, knocking the air sensuously from your lungs. Your fingers crept up to his hair, grabbing a palmful to yank and hold on to. The pain was noticeable, but somehow you suspected he had lessened the intensity by using his ability. He stilled inside you, brushing his lips against yours as he waited.

“Are you ready?” he asked after a while.

“Yes.”

He began moving, his thrusts deep but firm as he pinned you down in the warm candlelight. The lewd sounds of your bodies meeting brought heat to your cheeks. It was so delicious and utterly filthy that tears accumulated in your eyes. He uttered a string of curses in your ear, quiet and intended only for you. 

“This sopping pussy, so wet. So sweet. You want me to fix for ya, darlin’? Does it feel good when I’m stroking you like this?”

It was so startling and unlike what you imagined. Jasper had always been the quiet Cullen, the one who never spoke unless spoken to. Even in your relationship, he opted to listen to your voice rather than lead the conversation. It was something you thought would carry over into his bedroom tendencies. But here he was, spitting naughty, dangerous words to you, unabashedly and so god damn sexy. 

His pace changed. Now it was fast and shallow. You looked down to where your bodies connected, your arousal dripping down onto the cotton sheets and shining against his lower half. You cried into his throat, trying to hide your face.

“No, Y/N,” he commanded, “Look at me. Look at what I’m doing to you. I want to watch you cum for me. Look into my eyes.”

You did as he said, and it was utterly too much. He growled as you came undone underneath the sheets. His seed, slightly warm, gushed inside you, filling your womb with his love. Your tongues clashed together as he bared his hands on the mattress and hunched over you.

You laid together in the romantic darkness, your head relaxed against his chest. You could hear cars honking in the streets, music floating up from the partying crowds below. It was so tranquil and perfect that if a hurricane blew over the island in that instant, you truly believed you wouldn’t care. All the while, his breathing slowed in your ear—not out of necessity—but from pure leisure.

“I can’t believe,” you started before taking a deep breath and starting over, “I can’t believe you waited over a century and a half to be with me. With someone you never met. I feel like I’ve robbed you years of laughter and joy when you should have been out living your life. If I had been there, then Maria wouldn’t have. . .she wouldn’t have—”

He sat up suddenly, bringing you with him against the headboard. 

“All of it, all of the years of waiting and suffering—every painful moment of it was worth it. It groomed me to become the man I am now. I used to be cold, unsympathetic, and callous. I had a backward ideology and knew not how to love another person for I could not even love myself.” he placed his large hand over yours, brushing the iridescent diamond band glimmering colorfully in the candlelight.

“But Carlisle and Esme, all of my adopted siblings—they taught me to cherish myself, even in spite of all my flaws. They never gave up on me when I struggled with my thirst, and they never judged me for the life I used to have. Little did I know, you had made your second arrival in the world not long after. I was learning to love, and well, you were learning to live.”

“The way your mother looks at you, Y/N, it’s a look of pure love and adoration. I decided then when I first sat at your dinner table that I would never let anything happen to that bond. I would protect you with my life. You were the final piece to my heart, darlin’. I had learned to love myself, but I didn’t trust myself. It wasn’t until you realized I was capable of loving others, that I could control myself enough around people.”

You didn’t realize you were crying but you were. Tears streamed down your face, some rolling down your cheeks and others falling unto his skin. 

“I don’t care what Edward believes.You are capable of loving in any way you choose; as a friend, as a brother, as a son—”

“As a husband?”

You smiled. “Yes. And, maybe, if you wanted—as a father.”

He froze, his golden eyes widened in surprise. “You mean. . .you want to adopt?”

“We could if we wanted,” you whispered quietly. “But Ava told me something about witches, something I thought you should know.”

He nodded, beckoning you to continue.

“Witches can have children with humans, vampires, werewolves, and shapeshifters. Because of our magic, it is immediately passed on to the offspring so that the children automatically retain human characteristics until they are old enough to learn what they are. And as for me, as long as I choose, I will never age. Of course, if we do have children, then I might need to create an illusion to change my appearance a little so people won’t be sus—”

He pulled you to his lips, and once again the two of you were reunited. It felt warm in his arms. Safe. 

“I would be honored,” he answered breathlessly. “Perhaps that dream of our farm life isn’t too far-fetched at all.”

“Oh no, it’s totally far-fetched,” you cried, laughing. “Yes, I grew up in Alabama. Yes, we’re southerners at heart. But I do not want to smell like cattle and chase chickens around for all of eternity. Maybe let’s just get a summer farm and we can have people to maintain while we’re gone.”

He shook his head, laughing, as you cradled his chin in your hand. 

“We’ll need a big house for the farm I plan to create with you, Mrs. Whitlock,” he drawled seductively, grabbing your hand by the wrist and bringing it slowly to his chest. 

You moved him so that you were on top, straddling him, the sheets pooling at your waist. 

“Well then, cowboy, we’d better get started.”

And this completes this series! Hope you enjoyed! I’m planning on doing some blurbs and drabble with our happy couple in the future. . .send me some ideas, will ya?

Twilight, despite all of its many problems and kinks, is one of my favorite nostalgic stories to this day. Jasper has always been my favorite character, (Seth Clearwater next) and since we’re all either quarantined or protesting, I thought I could bring light to our lives in such a dark time.

Part Six   Part Seven   Part Eight

#jasper hale #jasper hale imagines #jasper hale x reader #twilight #twilight x reader #twilight scenarios #twilight imagines #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #edward cullen #emmett cullen #rosalie hale #alice cullen

[seokjxnnie]

celestial (pt. 1) | kth (m)

genre: (future) smut, angst, demon au, incubus!taehyung x reader warnings: blood and violence, aloof asshole taehyung length: 5.3k

↳ her flesh and blood imparts immortality to any demon, but the incubus protecting her from the hunt requires something else of her body.

masterlist | part 2 ↠

a/n: let me know if you would like to be tagged in future updates! thanks!!

Everything was a little out of focus, but those piercingly red eyes were impossible to dismiss. Long, slender fingers unbuttoned her shirt. A heavy, aching fatigue paralyzed her, yet she still managed quiet mewls when a pair of lips cascaded tender caresses down the side of her waist. A scarce twinge of pain followed each stroke of a tongue, inspiring her to lightly squirm, but strong hands held her hips down. Eventually, with each kiss against her skin, she felt better, revitalized. Her vision gave to a slow fade.

She stirred in her sleep, rousing awake.

A dream. An inexplicable yet vivid dream. She wasn’t sure how long she napped for, but it must’ve been for too long if she felt this lightheaded. Sluggishly, her eyes opened, adjusting to the light as she stretched in silky sheets.

Her body suddenly went rigid, remembering she didn’t have silky sheets. A jolt upright and she found herself in a foreign environment. She was in a bed she didn’t know, in a room that wasn’t hers, wearing clothes that didn’t fit her. Before fear crippled her limbs, the door opened and revealed a kind face.

“Oh, Princess, you’re awake.” Soft eyes greeted her. “My name is Seokji—”

She flinched and tousled back when he approached and extended a glass of water to her. There was a throb in her head that elicited a pained exhale from her.

“Don’t move so suddenly! You’re probably still a little weak from all the blood you lost.”

An unearthly chill swamped her skin at such menacing words with inference she couldn’t grasp. Her heart thumped violently against her chest. Her throat tightened with the threat to suffocate. “Where am I? Who are you? Who changed me out of my clothes?” she assaulted him with panicked questions.

“Taehyung did. He had to heal your wounds and your clothes were soaked with blood. I’m washing them right now.”

Although he was seemingly speaking to her in an incomprehensible language, his words somehow brought on an ambiguous, fleeting series of images of her mind, bursts of what she could only hardly make out to be violence and gore. Even so, they were just passing visuals that failed to illustrate a coherent recollection.

Plagued with confusion and terror, her limbs quaked and her head pulsed. She darted her gape around the room in search of means of escape. “Please just let me go,” a frail, fractured voice pried from her quivering lips.

Seokjin swallowed, lips tautening into an apologetic frown. “Listen, I know this all might seem crazy and scary, but try to stay calm so you don’t overexert yourself.” Gingerly, he attempted to extend the glass of water to her once more, “I can explain everything.”

Her breaths fell as tremoring wisps before she contemplated whether it was idiotic or in her best interest to believe in the sincerity the stranger projected. She peered down at her foreign attire, finding herself in basketball shorts and a Spongebob t-shirt – both of which were too generously sized for her. The harmless image of the apparent pair of men’s pajamas she was in seemed to suggest something far from a hostile kidnapping. Then briefly, her gaze shifted to the drink stretched out to her, recognizing that her pounding head was begging for it.

“It’s safe, I promise. I’ll show you,” he insisted, bringing it to lightly touch his lips before he took a gulp in hopes of evaporating any of her apprehensions of it being contaminated. “See?”

Wary hands reached out to accept it. Reluctance quickly turned to eagerness when she felt how good it was to soak her dry tongue and quench the dense throb in her temples.

She’s never had a hammering headache in this magnitude before. She’s also never ‘lost of a lot of blood’ before which, according to him, was why she was feeling the way she did. All over again, she was swathed by a haunting uneasiness.

Hence, in spite of his warm smile and seemingly benevolent efforts, when his hand extended out in offer of taking away her quickly emptied glass, she instead tossed it at him. In the distraction of having him fumble to catch it, she made a hasty lunge off the bed and a beeline for the bedroom door – the alternative of the bedroom window was unhelpfully high and would’ve instead made for a slow and clumsy escape. Veering around him and his wide blinking eyes, she threw open the door and sped out, her bewilderment readying her to weave through whatever she has to in order to make it outside and scream for help. Unfortunately, it was a swift transition from the bedroom’s doorway into a face-first collision with a broad chest of another unidentified figure. Dizziness returning in an amplified form, she stammered back.

“Jesus, take it easy,” a tongue clicked before big hands claimed her shoulders and held her upright.

She peered up to find familiar eyes – the same eyes from her dream. They didn’t have the same red quality, but the matchlessly penetrative glance they delivered couldn’t be mistaken. Was her mind so inundated that it had fabricated a dream of the man now standing in front of her trailing his lips down her side?

Taehyung, she recalled Seokjin’s mentioning earlier. The visual prompt of his familiar face suddenly made for an enrichment of her memories, triggering another barraging flash of bloody imagery. Nausea settled down on her and her sights started spinning again.

He caught her when her knees submitted to a buckle. “You’re not supposed to be up and about yet,” his criticism resonated with a deep voice. Arm swinging around under her knees, he picked her up. A quick nod at Seokjin reassured the older that he can handle it from here.

She would’ve struggled if she wasn’t entirely crippled by fatigue and anxiety. However, as he began carrying her down the hall, she was suddenly confronted with a strong sense of nostalgia. The humble and rustic walls looked as if she’s been acquainted. It wasn’t until he sat her down on a couch of a living room that she then taken back to an amicable elderly face eight years ago.

“This is the town shrine,” she mumbled to herself after the fragments of reminiscence assembled to refine a certain memory.

For as long as she could remember, the girl could see supernatural beings. In childhood, they had never bothered her more than a brush of curiosity. And so, as a kid she had even called the things her imaginary friends, being that apparently no one else was able to see them and she was consistently being dismissed as having a wild imagination. Approaching adolescence, she began to recognize the eeriness in their ghastly looks, becoming increasingly concerned that she wasn’t growing out of her ‘imaginary friends’. Her developing maturity allowed her to find the fear in seeing things others couldn’t.

As a result, at 12 years old her parents took her to a shrine seeking advice from a gentle-faced elderly monk. There was a brightness behind his crinkled eyes when he smiled, and a cosiness played in his voice whenever he talked. He assured her parents that it was nothing to worry about, that all her visions were the product of a creative mind. Nonetheless, he still imparted her with a bead bracelet, assuring that as long as she kept it on it would protect her. Her parents appreciated the monk’s white fib in an attempt to help her feel better. Although it didn’t dispel the monsters, she felt an attachment to the bracelet and kept it on till present day.

Now in the same shrine eight years later, she blinked at and fingered the same beads around her wrist. Their original dark brown colour was now tinted a deep red. Before she even had the chance to add to her amassing puzzlement, she stiffened as five other strange men joined them in the room.

“Oh, the Princess is awake!”

“I thought I heard voices.”

Seokjin followed, entering and setting down her folded clothes on the table in front of her. “I managed to get the stains out,” he greeted her by her name with a lively grin, “but I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything about the rips and tears.”

Her eyes broadened, terrified, when she held up her shirt with a monstrous bite taken out of its side. She gasped and jerked back in retreat when she at last remembered the earlier pain that had thoroughly conquered her body. All too vividly was the reminder of the demonic face of the child that clamped its teeth onto her ribs. All the overwhelming emotions from the entire day suddenly barraged her, provoking her to shake uncontrollably. Stinging tears welled up in her eyes.

“How do you know my name? Who are you guys?” she whimpered through a broken and frail voice, sinking into the couch to increase her distance from everyone.

__________

The day was eerie from the start.

The walk from her dorm room to campus was darker than usual. It wasn’t due to gloomy weather of any sorts – it was actually a sunny morning, perfectly characteristic of the budding summer season. The shadows were actually casted by the blankets of monsters that spread, hardly leaving any landscape vacant. Two-headed cats hung on trees, three-eyed foxes sprawled across garden beds, double-ended snakes spiralled around stair railings, crows two feet tall enveloped benches and stone sculptures. It was routine to see them often, so much so that it was often hardly a chore to walk on through as if she didn’t see anything, to pretend as if she wasn’t stiff with anxiety and fear. But today was different. Their presence has never been so ample. While none of them flocked to her, she could feel their hungry stares searing into the back of her head, as if stalking her as prey. A chill snaked up and down her spine.

“What are you staring at?” A classmate joined her side and reeled her out of her troubled daze. Their paths often overlapped, heading to the same lecture.

She had long ago given up on talking about the things that she could see. “Oh, nothing, just thinking about the lengths I’m willing to take to get out of that argumentation assignment due tonight. If I asked you nicely, would you hold a knife to my throat?”

The classmate snorted. “Christ, relax! It’s your birthday tomorrow! You get it done tonight and won’t have to worry about it when we celebrate.” Excited pats warmed the girl’s shoulder. “You think I’d let myself forget and let you off that easily?”

With such an uncanny start to her morning, even she forgot.

She tried not to act distracted and insincere when she thanked her peer.

While eager to find distance from the horde as she entered the school, she instead found dismay in her lecture. Windows lined the side of the class, and lining the windows were an abundant layer of more demons. The students carried on as if the room wasn’t dramatically dimmed by the obstruction of the copious densities of the monsters, as if they didn’t see the multitude of brutish, ghastly faces glowering at them – at her.

She sank into her seat. Not only the horror, but the loneliness has never felt as smothering as it did now.

What’s going on? Why was today as unusual as it was? She didn’t know, and will probably never know. It’s been this way of her whole life – no one around her could ever answer her questions about her experiences with anything other than a look of concern. Nonetheless, she swallowed the fear accumulating as a swell in her throat and reminded herself that she’d just have to carry on and hope that the strange themes will curb on its own by the end of the day.

So, once she finished her classes, she found refuge in a deep, quiet corner of the library away from the windows to finish her assignment due at midnight. Hours bled into the tedious clicking and typing of her laptop, and although mind-numbing, it adequately served as a distraction from the eeriness that lurked a just a few walls away. So much so that the anxiety of the supernatural gradually dispersed to instead make room for the fatigue of her studies.

The library was completely silent – it was now late and the occupants must’ve cleared out. She, however, just had a couple more paragraphs to refine before she could leave too. Eyes strained and dry, face stretched by frequent yawns, and mind dazed from the droning of the past few hours, she remembered submitting to the droop of her heavy eyelids.

Just for a minute, she promised herself, just to rest my eyes.

Regardless of what she insisted, the brief moment of ease and tranquility was mesmeric. So much so that when she finally did bring herself to stir and scarcely open her eyes, she found the time to be 11:42pm with no accomplishment of additional work from when allowed herself the break an hour ago. The panic surged through her, bolting her upright with consciousness and playing her fingers in a hurried and tireless employ.

It was 11:59pm when she clicked on “submit” and a green checkmark responded on her screen to inform her of a successful submission. She threw herself back in a slump with a sigh of relief. Stretching in her chair, she relished in the release of tension in her body to accompany her close-call victory.

Happy birthday to me, the girl quietly tittered to herself when the time on her laptop blinked midnight.

Packing herself up, she was drawn from the excited thoughts of being engulfed by her bed when she heard a childish sobbing coming from another corner of the library.

She froze, stiff and cold. What was a child doing on a college campus at midnight? The catalog of horror movies she’s watched could provide some ideas, none of which too kindly for her. Pulse thumping so rapidly that it seemingly burned a hole in her throat, she remained unmoving, waiting to see if the cries continued. Maybe she was so worn out that she was hearing things, she tried to rationalize. She remembered a psychology article she read, outlining something along the lines of the mind tending to fabricate false stimulations to the senses amidst a backdrop of paranoia, which was easy for her to develop in the dark and isolated environment she was in now. Although she might just be desperately reaching.

A rigid breath of distress pushed past her gritted teeth when she heard the whimpering continue. She wasn’t imagining it.

Prompted by the sliver of concern that it was actually a child in the need of help, pale and clammy fingers dug for her keys before wedged them between her knuckles as a makeshift tool of defence. Then, she cautiously made her way towards the sound. An attempt to console herself came with the reminder of her phone’s function of a blaring SOS alarm. She thumbed the power button in preparation to hold it down and trigger just that if necessary.

Up ahead, she saw a little boy sitting at a table with his back turned to her, whines and sniffles produced from the face that rested down on folded arms. The child’s shoulders quivered up and down as he sobbed. Gingerly closing their distance, she didn’t see any other company.

Someone’s visiting little brother? A staff member’s wandering son?

“Hey, are you alright? Are you lost?” she asked, employing a soothing and reassuring tone before reaching out a hand to tap his shoulder.

The kid spun around to reveal a demonic face – pale blue skin, eyes beady and red, teeth jutting and serrated, far from the anticipated face of innocence and vulnerability. Gasping, the girl would’ve lurched back if the thing didn’t latch onto her shoulder with its claws, breaking skin and drawing blood. She cried in pain, only wailing louder when his jaw widened and protruded to clamp down onto the left side of her ribs. An agonizing ache thundered throughout her entire body and forced her to her knees. It felt like the monster child had started lapping at the blood he drew from the wound he created. Then, it felt like his robust set of jaws was curtly removed from her side. With her senses blurring towards a deterioration from the sudden trauma that rendered her faint and close to unconsciousness, she was losing the ability to perceive reality as anything other than indistinctive and uncertain.

Her pale face dropped to the floor when she lost control of her movements over the immense pain. Under hooding eyelids, her hazy and departing vision managed to dimly distinguish a set of legs that straddled and knelt down on the demon’s chest. Vaguely, she watched as its thrashing and resistant body abruptly drop to a limp when a fist brutally landed on the creature’s face. Puncturing through its skull, a gaping hole was left when the hand retreated.

Everything dulled to a black.

A dream. A stir awake. A jolt upright in a bed she didn’t know, in a room that wasn’t hers, wearing clothes that didn’t fit her. The door opened and Seokjin entered with a glass of water.

__________

It was just past 3am, she learned. She had been unconscious for three hours.

A man named Namjoon was seated next to her on the couch, a wary distance away in consideration of her comfort amidst a disorientation. Next to him, Seokjin. Across from her on the other sofa, they introduced themselves as Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook, who was perched on top of the backing of the couch. Taehyung remained leaning against the frame of the living room’s doorway.

Her eyes were darkened with exhaustion and dewed with distraught. Hoseok had reached out to offer her a box of tissues. Soon, fibres of the damp and crumpled napkin in her hand produced a speckled and velvety texture on her fingertips.

Although still on edge, she’s decided to submit to cooperation. She couldn’t fight back anyway, burdened by not only the physical stress and wear, but also by its allied emotional strain when complete recollection of tonight’s dreadful events returned to her. Or at least for what she was conscious enough to record.

Moreover, this group of seven men might’ve been strangers, but they were strangers who promised answers to her confusion. For the first time in her life, she just might be able to finally understand… everything. Her fear of them had grown less aggressive – if they wanted to hurt her, they would’ve done so by now, as opposed to all keeping a sympathetic distance and projecting similar looks of concern from their eyes.

“When you visited the shrine as a child, the monk knew exactly why you could see things others couldn’t. But, you were still a kid, you weren’t ready to understand yet,” Namjoon spoke softly, prudently.

Jimin, foreseeing her overwhelming plunge into a reality different from what she’s known, moved mindfully not to further rouse disturbance within her when he departed and quickly returned with a hot cup of tea to soothe. She took the mug from him with a timid thanks, deciding to trust the gentle qualities reflected in his consolatory smile. It came as a reward, the hot sips calming the sharp strikes to her temples and dissipating the bloat in her airways.

“What wasn’t I ready to understand?” her voice came out feeble and splintered by a stubborn sniffle.

He replied, “You come from what our people consider a line of royalty.”

A loaded statement. A challenge to process. She only registered the first half of it. “’Our people’...?” she tentatively repeated.

“Demons,” Yoongi uttered the word she’s been waiting to hear, “the kind you’ve been seeing since you were young.”

An indecisive gaze trailed over their faces, unsuccessful in realizing any severe differentiations. No one had colourful skin, excess limbs or features, barbaric and unearthly characterizations, none of what she was used to seeing.

“But you all look human.”

Demons come in different forms, they explained. The stronger ones were able to suppress their demon traits and resemble humans, with the trade-off of being able to be seen by them. They’ve blended in, even walking among society, undetected and only perceptible to other demons.

It all sounded like an exert straight out of a supernatural young adult novel. It only escalated from there when she questioned the latter half that addressed her relation in all of this.

Every century, a human is born with the blood that can prolong a demon’s life if consumed after the ripening of adulthood. Devoured in its entirety, the celestial flesh and blood granted immortality. That celestial being was her.

The hammering in her head resurfaced. An apprehensive throb in her chest imitated the same pattern. Denial was the overpowering emotion in this instance, however. The girl scoffed a slight laughter of disbelief that accompanied the shake of her head. “That’s ridiculous. That can’t be. It… I can’t be…”

Except it would’ve explained why a mass of monsters stalked her yesterday morning. They were waiting. And right on time, at the stroke of midnight that marked her 20th birthday, the demons that mainly left her alone her whole life suddenly wanted to make a meal of her. Most of all, it would’ve explained why she was the only person she knew that could see the supernatural element.

Tautness abruptly overcame her once again when she made the connection that the seven men in front of her were also demons, possibly with the same intentions. Had they only brought her here just to surround her and have her all for themselves? The tips of her digits drained pale by the deathly anxious grip she had on her cup.

Jungkook realized the brewing fright and unease in her silence. With wide eyes, he threw his hands up in defence. “Woah, wait! Not us though! We don’t eat humans,” he exclaimed.

“Not all demons have desires for immortality and intend to hurt humans. But, we are here to protect you from those that do, Princess,” Jimin added, a trustworthy look glossing over his irises to complement his promising words.

She grimaced, “Don’t… call me that,” she muttered under her breath.

“Most of us have been under the monk’s care since we were young,” Seokjin explained. “He knew what would happen when you turned 20, and he wanted to protect you. We all grew up knowing that. When he passed away a couple years ago, the seven of us took over the shrine as well as the responsibility of making sure you’re safe.”

Her shoulders deflated at the solemn news, reminiscing the elder’s kind eyes that had comforted her many years ago. “So,” her wilted gaze reluctantly flickered up at them, “that demon earlier… it was you guys that stopped him?”

Hoseok nodded, “Taehyung did. If he had come any later, you would’ve…” he shivered at the thought of it.

She swallowed, disturbed as well by the recollection of the grisly red eyes and the agonizing pain that came with the sinking of its jagged teeth, how she was likely seconds away from being reduced to an indistinguishable pool of blood and guts. Her eyes stuttered in their peer up to Taehyung, who had remained quiet and still by the door the entire time. He was stoic and difficult to read, but she had been deprived of the resilience necessary to look at him for longer than a blink. This was because she was uneased by the idea that he had been the one to undress her from her red-stained and tattered clothing earlier. Whatever he did though, the claw and bite marks no longer marked her skin.

Stammering fingers traveled to graze her side, acknowledging the lack of an anticipated ache upon contact. “H-How did you…?”

Namjoon gestured to her wrist. The bracelet that the monk gave her, he also gave it to Taehyung. He was apparently faster and stronger than any of them. Wearing the beads simultaneously for a long interval formed a bond between the two of them. Taehyung was her familiar, was the term Namjoon used. It was a bond that meant Taehyung’s duty protect her overpowered his instincts as a demon. It was what provided him the ability to close her wounds and prevented him from personally gaining vitality from her flesh. They had scented the beads with his blood, Namjoon continued to explain, which will come as a warning to other demons. They shouldn’t be bothering her anymore for the most part.

Dwelling in such a prolonged stage of bewilderment was exhausting. Being awake in the middle of the night after just barely recovering from a penetrative pain that spilled her blood was exhausting. Wrestling between knowing to believe and wanting to deny such outlandish fables was exhausting. She sat still, quiet, numb, tired, fingering the bracelet around her wrist, now understanding why they produced their red tint.

“Someone’s going to tell her, right?” Yoongi blurted.

She looked up. What now?

Namjoon sighed, eyes dropping as if he was about to disappoint her. “Taehyung is…” he paused, clearing his throat and shuffling a nervous hand through the hair at the back of his head, “an incubus.” The air surrounding them seemingly tightened. “Which means—”

“I know what that means,” she deadpanned, stopping him before he had to embarrass himself— embarrass her any further, and before the red tips of her ears spread to blot more of her face.

A reminiscence of the elective mythology course she took during freshman year reminded her that incubuses gained life energy through sex. Incubuses were also supposed to be nothing more than a myth, but how could she be surprised when monsters and familiars and immortality-granting blood were a factual aspect in her reality?

No longer being able to stand emotionally smothering herself, she leapt to her feet.

__________

While finally in her own bed, in her own room, wearing her own clothes, she was restless. In spite of her relentless tiredness, she couldn’t sleep. Swaddled in an uncomfortable warmth prescribed by the summer heat and a fidgety apprehension, the ensuing sticky layer of sweat that draped over her skin made for a painstakingly long journey until the state of drowsiness.

She had politely asked to leave. She had thanked them for their care and for their explanations, but she was in dire need to be alone in her state of exhaustion and disorientation. They didn’t stop her, however Hoseok and Jimin insisted on walking her back to campus residence at this time of night. She declined and asserted her request to be unaccompanied. Again, they didn’t stop her, perhaps out of sympathy and condolence.

Alone at last, the girl was lost in her thoughts and it kept her up. While her eyes idly traced the uneven patterns of her ceiling, her mind tirelessly ran several trains atop numerous winding tracks that overlapped, each one trying to make sense of her situation, trying to assess how she was going to handle the disarming truth she had still so desperately sought for. Most rails ultimately ended in collision.

The sun was already beginning to rise, peeks of radiance generously filtered in through her opened blinds and made for an unaccommodating setting for sleep. A huff of frustration sat her up and trudged her towards her window to drop close the shades. Already a crack open, her fingers first wrapped on the underside of the window’s frame to open it further in hopes of it catching a heavier breeze. She had just started to lift the glass pane when a tall, dark silhouette came into view.

She gasped and recoiled backwards, her release of the window allowing it to fall. Her hand hadn’t retreated far enough yet, she realized when her finger got caught in the panel’s drop. Pain surged up the length of her arm when the frame slammed down on her index. Yelping, she dropped to her knees before wrenching her digit free, finding a bloody trench framing her nail.

She didn’t have more than a second to grimace at her injury when the complete opening of the window required her immediate attention. Clambering back, fear seized her lungs when the shadowy figure that was suspended on the tree branch immediate to her window had climbed in. Before a scream managed to pry her throat open, their closing distances allowed her vision to sharpen the facial features of the stranger.

“Jesus, you humans scare so goddamn easily,” Taehyung huffed, sitting on the sill with one leg hovering above her bedroom floor and the other swinging five storeys above ground.

Anger surfacing, she exclaimed through gritted teeth, “Were you there this entire time?”

“Yeah,” he replied, curt and without a shred of shame or penance. “I actually followed you the entire way home, but I guess humans are inattentive too.”

She would’ve clenched her hands into fists in resentment if she wasn’t met with an immediate aching jolt from her fingernail. “I told you not to,” she instead spat an irritated murmur, which promptly transitioned into a hiss of discomfort when she wiped the blood from her finger.

Her scent flooded his senses. “Yeah, well look how easily you hurt too. How your species has survived this long completely escapes me.” After a patronizing scoff, he leapt down from the window and slumped down onto the floor next to her, legs folded in front of him. He captured her wrist with the injured finger and brought it close to his face. She resisted, face contorting into a scowl, knees withdrawing to her chest, and hand tugging back in response. He reinforced his grip. “Just relax. I’m trying to help,” his tongue clicked with impatience.

The girl swallowed, eyes locking with his unwavering, assertive gaze. The echoing reminder that the supposed ‘familiar’ had healing abilities prompted her to retire her defences, although she was unsure of how it was exactly going to unfold.

Another sharp inhale dropped open her jaw, stunned when he plunged the tip of her finger into his mouth. “What the fuck are you do—” she began to shout before wrenching herself free from his lips, only to reveal undamaged skin that made her abruptly pause in disbelief. Rotating it in view, she confirmed that her finger was no longer bleeding, the nail was no longer cracked, and the likelihood of bruising was no longer promising.

Is this how he does it? She only briefly pondered. But just as quickly, her eyes dropped closed when disrupted by the recollection of her supposed dream of him running his lips down her shoulder, down her waist, before she had woken up suddenly unscathed.

This is how he does it.

And that wasn’t a dream.

Taehyung interrupted her silent stupor, “A ‘thank you’ will do—"

“Get out,” she lowly rasped. A series of troubled and shuddering winces debilitated her upon remembering the unintended mewls and whimpers he had drawn out of her in half-consciousness. “Get out!” her snarl escalated to a roar. She reached behind her before hurling a pillow toward him off her bed.

He jumped to his feet, his tensed lips sputtering a string of frustrated profanities and curses at her apparent unexplained outburst, especially after his kind deed. “Fine!” he barked. Spotting his basketball shorts and Spongebob tee slung on her computer chair, he snatched them up. “And I’m taking these back!”

The incubus leapt out her window and disappeared, which she firmly made sure of with her own eyes. The girl threw herself back flat on the ground, flustered, burying her face in her damp palms when she couldn’t strip herself of the lingering sensations of his tongue against her skin.

#bts smut #taehyung smut #armiesnet #kim taehyung #bts #bts scenarios #bts angst #taehyung scenarios #taehyung #taehyung x reader #bts supernatural au

[thenamesseven]

Plot: Free schedule days were a rare thing for Yugyeom but whenever he didn’t need to go to the studio, he loved spending lazy mornings in bed with you.

Warnings: Smut and a bunch of fluff

Word count: 3.4k

                 -------------------------------------------------

Your favorite thing of having an idol as a boyfriend wasn’t the luxuries, it wasn’t the sudden and surprising trips he had taken you on, it wasn’t the dates on expensive restaurants or even the fact that you could easily meet most of the K-pop industry in the events he took you with him. Surprisingly, your favorite thing was his free days. You enjoyed the previously mentioned stuff of course, but you absolutely adored when Yugyeom had a free day to spend with you either at home being lazy or outside on some sort of secret date.

This time seemed to be one of those free days when Yugyeom was too tired to get out of bed, he -along with the rest of GOT7- had been practicing for a bunch of hours with brief breaks that probably weren’t enough for their exhausted bodies. By the time Yugs had got home, you were far too deep in your sleep to welcome him and after exchanging quiet and sleepy ‘I love you’s, your boyfriend closed his eyes willing to catch up with the bunch of hours his body needed to sleep to properly function once he woke up. 

Having lazy days with Yugyeom was a rare occurrence, he was a really active person that enjoyed trying new stuff, things that usually weren’t in his routine but sometimes -not too often though- he would ask you to stay in bed with him for the whole day, cuddling, talking and binge watching shitty movies or funny shows as you stuff yourselves with all kinds of junk food. Despite this being something every couple did, it kind of felt slightly intimate when you two did it. Maybe it was because you didn’t have many chances to spend days like this with him or maybe it was because you simply loved cuddling with Yugyeom...Whatever the reason was, you couldn’t help but feel special whenever he laid in bed with you like that. 

Sunlight was starting to fill your bedroom, bright rays of light coming in through your curtains that managed to keep the room dark enough for Yugyeom to keep sleeping. Before meeting Yugyeom you were the kind of person that if it wasn’t for alarms, you would spend the entire day sleeping in your bed but as soon as the two of you started living together that habit drastically changed. When Yugyeom had worked your only chances of seeing him at home would be before he goes to the studio and when he comes back from it, which was extremely late sometimes, so you started forcing your lazy body to wake up at the same hour as his. Yugyeom insisted that it wasn’t necessary, that he knew you well enough to know you would love to keep sleeping but deep down he appreciated you getting out of the warm bed to have breakfast with him, to give him sleepy kisses and soft hugs before he went to work. Yugyeom never said this but you knew he secretly loved being spoiled with attention.

Groaning quietly, you unconsciously moved closer to Yugyeom, hiding your face into the crook of his neck to avoid the brightness of the room that was getting stronger and stronger as time passed. It was too late though, once awake you knew the chances of falling back asleep were too little, besides, you could feel your muscles screaming for you to get up and stretch already. Despite you willing to lay besides your boyfriend for a bit longer, you knew that your shifting and constant movement would only end up in interrupting his sleep which was something you definitely didn’t want to happen. Letting out a soft sigh, you gently moved away from him, careful to not wake Yugyeom up. 

As soon as your eyes landed on his face, the corners of your lips were pulled up in a gentle smile.

There was no presence of tension or stress on his delicate features, which undoubtedly was a rare sight. Despite Yugyeom always having a smile for the cameras, behind them he was like any idol, stressed and slightly overwhelmed with the amount of events and hours of work he had to go through. His lips were pulled up in a small smile, whatever he was dreaming about was making him happy enough to physically smile, it was so cute that you had to hold the urge of hugging and squeezing him hard. Watching your boyfriend being so relaxed and peaceful totally made your day, it simply calmed you down to know that, at least, some hours of his life weren’t ruled by stress and anxiety.

Not being able to help yourself, you reached up and brush some strands of his head away from his forehead, leaning closer to him to press a kiss on his cheek. “I love you” You whispered, knowing he probably wasn’t hearing you but that was okay, you would make sure to repeat it as soon as he woke up.

After that small affectionate gesture, you sat up and got out of the bed, stretching yourself, sighing relieved when some of the muscles on your back popped. You walked closer to the window, pulling down the blind a bit more so Yugyeom wouldn’t be disturbed by the brightness of the sunny day outside of your bedroom and could sleep for a bit longer. A satisfied groan escaped his lips when you did this, making you turn around and giggle when you watched him laying all spreaded out on your bed looking like a giant starfish.

“Where are you going so early?” He asked with his eyes closed, voice deep and husky since he had just woken up. After all your efforts, it seemed like you had managed to wake Yugyeom up.

You smiled, not being able to hold yourself back anymore and simply leaning back down to engulf him in your arms “It’s not that early, we just slept a lot today” You replied squeezing his body gently, feeling how his own arms were already making their way around your body to hug you back “I was about to take a shower”

“Without me?” He asked with a small pout, nuzzling the crook of your neck. Yugyeom loved the way you smelled, no matter if you had taken a shower or not, your natural scent always seemed to incredibly relax him.

You chuckled at his question, leaning back a bit to look down at him “You haven’t even opened your eyes yet! How am I supposed to have a shower with you?” You asked amused, reaching down to poke his nose which quickly scrunched up at the contact.

“Shut up and just love me” His words made the both of you laugh. Before you could move away from his embrace Yugyeom pulled you back down onto the bed with him, placing your body on top of his, never moving his arms one bit. He kept the wrapped around your body, making sure you wouldn’t attempt to move away from him. “Give me a kiss” He said puckering his lips, whining when you moved away

“I haven’t brushed my teeth yet” You explained looking down at him but Yugyeom only shrugged absolutely ignoring your reasoning as he leaned back in “Yugs” You whined, trying your hardest to dodge his lips.

Smiling Yugyeom kept trying, tightening his grip on you “Come on, stay still, I don’t care about morning breath” He muttered sounding fakely frustrated. When he grew tired of your success, Yugyeom rolled the two of you on the mattress, pinning you down on the bed with the weight of his body “Now what, huh?” He asked playfully, wiggling his eyebrows as he looked down at you.

You laughed softly, shaking your head. Your hands went down to his shoulders, still trying to keep him as far away from your face as possible “I will not go down without a fight” You declared playfully, making him chuckle.

“Last time we play fights it didn’t end well” Yugyeom reminded, one of his eyebrows arched as he laughed. Catching you off guard for a second, h took the chance to wrap his arms around your body once again, placing his face back in the crook of your neck. “We fell off the bed, remember? Your back hurt for the rest of the week and I almost broke my shoulder” The two of you laughed quietly at the memory, you sometimes were as dorky as him and things didn’t end well. “I don’t want to be scolded by Jaebum again”

“Yeah, that wasn’t fun” Jaebum, who loved you as much as the rest of GOT7, didn’t hesitate to scold the two of you when Yugyeom almost got seriously injured because of your fighting game. He sometimes treated the two of you as his own kids, he had even mentioned this in a few interviews already.

Yugyeom got quiet, closing his eyes and drowning himself in your scent for some brief seconds before he started placing small, butterfly kisses on your neck. Unable to push him away because you were too weak for your boyfriend, you simply laid there, smiling and giggling whenever the feeling of his lips against your skin got slightly ticklish.

“Let’s stay in bed for a little longer?” He asked in a small voice, more focused on kissing your neck than on the conversation the two of you were having “We can shower and have some breakfast later but I really do want to stay in here with you for a bit more time”

How could you say no to such a cute and handsome person? Especially when he knew his puppy eyes were your weakness “Fine but not for too much longer, I’m kind of hungry”

“You’re hungry huh?” He asked with a smirk, immediately letting you know something was up “I’m hungry for your kisses” His response made your smile brighter, you simply couldn’t resist him, you knew the two of you were going to end up kissing sooner or later.

Without moving his eyes away from yours Yugyeom leaned closer and closer, almost as if he was trying to not scared you away, until your lips were mere inches away. His smile widened when, as usually, you had unconsciously started to blush from the close proximity. 

“I’ll never get tired of this view” He blurted out, his eyes slipping down to your lips no matter how hard he tried to keep looking into yours “You’re so beautiful”

Before you had any time to complain about him making all shy Yugyeom leaned in once again, closing the distance between your faces and making your lips meet in the softest kiss you’ve ever shared. He was gentle, giving you time to enjoy the feeling before his lips started moving against yours at a slow pace, not wanting to rush the moment, wishing it would never end. At this point, you couldn’t care less about morning breath, Yugyeom’s kisses made you forget about everything and forced you to focus on him and only him.

You reached up and cupped one of his cheeks, brushing your thumb against his soft skin. Yugyeom leaned into your touch, loving the way your touch always made him feel, delicate and loved. Your boyfriend tilted his head a little, deepening the kiss as he slowly placed you back down on the bed, hoping to get back on top of you. He was careful to not press his crotch against you though, he didn’t want you to misunderstand the kisses with wanting sex, Yugyeom just felt really affectionate, lazy days made him feel like that.

Soon after you had changed positions his kisses started drifting down the sensitive skin of your neck, his tongue sometimes coming out to taste your skin. “You always taste so good” He whispered making you smile, gently pressing his nose against the places he had kisses “You smell so fucking good”

“What’s with you today, mhm?” You asked with a quiet chuckle, tilting your head so he could keep kissing your neck. You had to bite onto your lower lip when his lips brushed against a particular sensitive spot but in the end, a small moan escaped from the back of your throat. Yugyeom smiled, knowing exactly what he was doing to you.

“I just feel like spoiling my girlfriend” He said smiling devilishly, like a little kid who was about to get in trouble “With love” He muttered, kissing your sensitive spot again “Affection” This time it was his tongue the one that brushed against it, making you bite your lower lip harder. Right after that, his lips moved away from your neck and up to your ear, tickling you with his warm breath. Yugyeom nibbled your earlobe, kissing it once before speaking again “And maybe a couple of orgasms before breakfast” He smirked when you gasped, clearly not expecting the change of mood “Three if you feel like getting naughty in the shower” 

Yugyeom chuckled, glancing down at your turned on expression before he proceeded with his task of devouring your neck. One of his hands, the one that wasn’t making sure all his weight wasn’t on you, caressed it’s way up your hip and under your shirt, brushing your belly button with the tip of his long, soft fingers.

“It’s getting hot in here, isn’t it?” Yugyeom’s silly comment didn’t surprise you, he usually did that when you two were about to get intimate. He always said it was to decrease the tension in the atmosphere and surprisingly, it always worked, making you laugh when you least expected it.

“You should take this off” You proposed moving your hands down his chest, staring into his eyes as you tugged on the hem of his shirt.

Yugyeom smirked, nodding as leaned back to kneel on the bed, pulling you up with one of his hands so you were sitting really, really close to his body “Help me out, will you?” He asked playfully, his morning boner really close to your face. Chuckling, you pulled up his shirt as much as you could from that position, helping Yugyeom to get rid of his shirt as he tossed it away.

He looked down at you with a big smile on his face, running his fingers through your hair. Yugyeom cupped both of your cheeks, leaning all the way down to give you a much passionate and hungry kiss than the first one. After a few seconds the usual battle for dominance between your tongues appeared, making the kissing even deeper.

At some point your hands had come up his legs, stopping by the hem of his pants for some brief seconds before pulling them down. Yugyeom groaned satisfied against your lips when his boner had been released since he wasn’t wearing any underwear. He bit your lower lip softly, closing his eyes when one of your soft hands caressed his red, hard dick, making twitch for attention. You licked his upper lip, turning into mush when he moaned as soon as you started to slowly stroke his member, relieving some of the tension his body was feeling.

“God damn…(Y/N)” He whispered, a trail of swearing words leaving his lips as he closed his eyes, allowing his head to fall back when you kept stroking at the same slow pace, killing him with a little bit of teasing “I-I was supposed to spoil you”

“Let me spoil you back though” You muttered, face moving closer to his boner. The feeling of your warm breath against his most sensitive skin making shivers run down his spine “Just a little bit, okay?” He smiled, nodding as he glanced down at you.

You smirked, moving your hand down his length so your lips could be wrapped around it. Yugyeom moaned incredibly loud when you started sucking on his tip, tongue caressing the veins that had popped out and he quickly lost it when you started moving your head up and down on it. His muscles tense, his knuckles turned white as he shakily reached up to run his fingers through your hair once again, whispering appreciating and sweet words that only encouraged you to keep going.

Unfortunately, you pleasuring him didn’t last long because he gently pushed away from his length and back down onto the bed “What’s wrong?” You asked with a small, worried frown, looking up at him quietly.

“If you kept sucking me like that I would have cummed really fast” Yugyeom admitted with a small, shy smile, placing his body back on top of yours “I need to be inside of you right now”

Giggling, you wrapped your arms around him once again, moaning when he slid one of his hands under your panties to brush his lips teasingly against your clit. Your boyfriend smirked when you moaned through the kiss, against his lips....Louder and louder the faster he rubbed that little bundle of nerves that got you squirming and fidgeting under Yugyeom’s body.

“Let’s take your clothes off, quick”

Yugyeom helped you to sit down, willing to get rid of the shirt that covered your wonderful breasts first, his hands then moved lower, working quick and getting rid of your underwear, tossing it elsewhere along with the rest of your clothes. Once naked, Yugyeom’s dominate side came out to play and pinned you back down against the mattress.

His hands were on your wrists, holding your hands above your head and keeping your legs opened with your hips between them as he leaned down to suck and leave marks on your nipples. Yugyeom groaned huskily when you lifted your hips, rubbing your wet entrance against his hard boner, willing to be as close as you could to him.

“Yugyeom…” You moaned out his name desperate, bucking your hips again, not using words to tell him what you wanted and needed from him.

Yugyeom didn’t feel the need to make you beg when he wanted the same as bad as you did. Instead of holding your wrists down, he gently intertwined your fingers, leaning down to press his lips against yours in a gentle, passionate kiss. You quietly moaned, feeling his boner pushing its way inside of you. Used to his length already, you didn’t need extra time for your inner walls to accommodate to his thickness so you wrapped your legs around his hips, gripping the hair on the back of his head to keep his lips smashed against yours.

“Fuck, you feel so good” He whispered against your lips, kissing you back every single time.

“Fuck me Yugyeom, I really want it hard” You begged him, looking up into his eyes.

Yugyeom didn’t need you to tell him twice. Without wasting anymore time and squeezing your hands tighter, he started moving his hips at a slow yet hard pace that made you moan loud every single time his hips met yours, making the clapping sound that turned the both of you on even more. Putting all his strength in every single thrust, Yugyeom fucked you into the mattress, sometimes muffling his and your moans with short, hungry kisses. The temperature in the room arose and you two started sweating, making you feel dirty but extremely good at the same time.

“Yugyeom I’m so close” You moaned. Yugyeom let your hands go to grip the headboard to thrust into you with even more strength. “Fuck!” You cried out, when his thrusting got even stronger. Your hands came up to his back, digging your nails into his skin as his moans started getting incredibly loud too.

“Baby...I...I’m gonna...I….”

The feeling of Yugyeom filling you up was what pushed you over the edge, finally allowing you to grasp that orgasm you had been seeking for. The two of you drowned in the feeling of the other’s body against the other, your boyfriend kept thrusting into you gentler this time, keeping your body pressed against his.

“I love you...I love you...I love you so fucking much” He whispered leaving gentle kisses against your lips and neck, hugging you tightly.

“I love you too” You whispered back with a small smile, groaning when he playfully out all his weight on you, almost crushing you. “Yugyeom...You’re so heavy….”

“How can you call me fat in such a romantic moment!?” He exclaimed, faking to love offended. “Now I’m showering alone...Bye ugly” He winked, poking his tongue out at you as he locked himself in the bathroom

“Hey! I was going to shower first!”

Needless to say, the two of you showered together.

And it was so much better.

#got7 #kpop #kpop oneshot #kpop fic #got7 smut #smut #got7 jaebum #got7 youngjae #got7 jackson #got7 mark #got7 bambam #got7 jaebeom #got7 jinyoung #got7 yugyeom drabble #got7 yugyeom smut #got7 yugyeom

[captainamericasbeard]

Goodbye Letters

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word Count: 700 Category: fluff with a pinch of angst Warnings: none

A/N: This is my entry for Day 3 of @ibwhellospring ‘s 31 day short story writing challenge. Today’s prompt was goodbye letters.  I’ll put links for each day on my masterlist if you want to catch up.

Masterlist

You woke up to a beam of sun fighting its way through your curtains and across your face. Brow furrowed you huffed and turned, cramming your head under the pillow. You were slowly drifting back off when you realized the bed beside you was cold and empty. You could have assumed Bucky was in the training room but you knew he wasn’t. One of his goodbye letters lay on his pillow.

Hey Doll, Last minute mission and I couldn’t bear to wake you. Should only be a day or two. Steve will fill you in. You are my whole heart, I’ll be back for you. -Buck

Your mouth pulled down into a frown as you read his words. A mission. Another goodbye letter. You read it over again, short as it was. “You are my whole heart.” He knew how to make you smile even when he wasn’t there.

Slowly you let out an almighty stretch, still clutching the note in your hand. You finally fling the sheet off of you and moved to the closet. Digging through a pile of seldom worn sweaters you pull out a beaten leather journal and move back to the bed. You flip the journal open to the next empty page and tape Bucky’s note into it. A wave of sadness washes over you; you’re missing the feel of that last kiss you know he would have placed on your lips, tender and quiet in the ghostly morning hours when he left. Flipping the pages forward you peruse through past notes, just to hear Bucky’s voice.

Darlin’, I’ll be thinking of you the whole time. All my love, -Buck

My love, My only mission is to get back to you. Take care of my heart while I’m gone. -Buck

And before a particularly long mission-

My one true love, You are my whole world and I’ll carry you with me no matter where I am these next few months. Know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I am coming home to you. -Bucky

Tears filled your eyes at the sight of all the farewells you’ve had to endure. You close the journal, overwhelmed by the sadness of it all. You’d once asked him about the notes. A sunny day a hundred sleeps away from today while you were reading in bed and he was journaling on the couch in your room you’d asked him, “Why do you leave the notes Bucky?”

He looked up at you from his notebook with a quizzical look. You’d pulled him out of his thoughts. “Sorry,” you said, “I’m just curious.”

“Oh, I just can’t stand the thought of leaving you without telling you how I feel. No matter what happens, I want your memories of me to be true to how I feel about you.” He said it casually and with a soft smile but it made your eyes fill with tears and you’d launched yourself at him on the couch, peppering his face with kisses.

Now you had no choice but to let your tears fall silently into your lap as you remember his words. No matter what happens. Anxiety starts to build in your chest and there’s no big, strong, warm Bucky there to pull you from a panic attack.

Until soft footfalls fill the room and the bed dips down beside you. Strong, warm arms wrap around you from behind as hard tactical gear presses against your back. You gasp and twist your head around to look when your lips are captured in a soft kiss.

“Not cryin’ over me, are you doll?” His eyes are tender and filled with concern.

“Oh Bucky.” You twist your body around and gather all of him into an embrace. You quickly calm down and pull your head back to look him in his steel grey eyes. “The mission?" “Canceled. Wish that’d happened before we were halfway to Strasberg. I was hoping to get back to you before you woke up but I see I failed that one.” He looks at you full of concern.

“Sorry. My thoughts ran away a bit. I’m glad you’re home. Thanks for leaving me the note.” You smile and settle into his chest, breathing in his scent through his combat gear.

“Every time, doll” he says and he kisses the top of your head while pulling you in closer.

#ibw: hello spring 2019 #ibwhellospringday3 #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel drabble #marvel imagine #Bucky Barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #bucky barnes drabble #bucky drabble

[sammythankyou]

Take My Hand

Summary:  Alternate ending to AHS Apocalypse finale,  Apocalypse Then

Pairing:  Michael Langdon x Female Reader

Warnings:  Mild angst, fluff 

A/N:   Michael Langdon deserved better

“See my eyes, they carry your reflection

Watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you

Give your trust to me and look into my heart and show me, show me what you're doing”

—Take My Hand, Dido

The familiar feeling of dread settled over you as you stood on the sunny sidewalk. Suddenly, he appeared across the quiet street from you, taking a few long strides, before breaking into a run.. No sound came out as you opened your mouth, trying to scream, to warn him. The tall boy with the beautiful blonde hair. Then, a revving engine and squealing tires, shattering glass and a sickening crunch of bones, golden curls, blood...

Bolting up in bed, you pressed your hand to your racing heart, startled out of the recurring nightmare that had been plaguing your dreams for weeks now. Prophetic dreams were something you had experienced over the years, but they had never been this vivid. You felt the boy’s bones shatter, as though they were your own, tasted the warm blood trickling from his mouth, his overwhelming sadness and despair settled heavily in your chest. Dropping your face into your hands, you sobbed quietly. In your heart, you knew that this boy was real. And someone was going to kill him.

Sensations of splintering bones and visions of bloody blonde hair wouldn’t leave your thoughts, as you tried to go about your day. The anxiety was overwhelming and you found yourself making repeated mistakes, unable to focus on your job. Stupidly, tears welled up in your eyes when your boss snapped at you for being so distracted. Why was this dream affecting you so profoundly? 

Ten painful hours later, you returned home to your apartment. Relief flooded you upon entering the small, neat space.  Quickly closing and locking the door, you made your way to the fridge and poured an extra large glass of white wine. Collapsing on the sofa, you took a small sip out of your glass and stared out the window at the smoggy, but brilliant Los Angeles sunset.  

Rooted to the spot, as though your feet were encased in cement, you tried in vain to move, to run, to stop him. Tears poured down your face as the large black SUV slammed repeatedly into the boy’s tall form. Sinking to your knees, you watched helplessly as he lay in the street, blood soaking through his light denim jacket. 

Straining to see in the darkness, you fought back the panic that rose in your throat. Glancing around wildly, you struggled to orient yourself. The clock on the microwave read 11:14 pm. Tear filled blue eyes, white teeth stained red. Falling back against the couch, you couldn’t stop the sobs that bubbled up out of your chest. Gradually, your breathing returned to normal, tears drying on your cheeks. Staggering to your feet, you made your way to your bedroom and crawled under the comforter. The overwhelming need to save this boy washed over you. But how? You didn’t even know his name, let alone what city he was in.

The next week passed as miserably as the last one, with almost nightly appearances by the beautiful doomed boy you felt so fiercely protective of. Your desperation grew as each day ended.  

The following morning a woman entered your office. Before you saw her face, there was a glint of silver and turquoise, tanned skin and short salt and pepper hair.

“Gran?” The name slipped out of your mouth.

The woman turned to face you. “Excuse me?”

“Um, nothing. Sorry,” you said feeling you cheeks turn red. “How can I help you?”

That night you dreamt of your grandmother.

A remembered conversation from many years before. Taking your hands in her weathered ones, her vivid green eyes looked into yours through her black horn rimmed glasses. The silver and turquoise rings that adorned her fingers felt cool against your skin. White teeth stood out against her deeply tanned face as she smiled at you, telling you that you were special, that you had abilities deep inside, just like she did.

You had always sensed things before they happened. Simple things, like what song was playing on the radio before it was turned it on, who was calling before picking up the phone. And you knew when your grandmother had died before your mother could break the news.

“I don’t know what to do Gran,” you said looking back into her eyes. 

“Yes you do, sweetheart. It is all right in front of you,” she said, smiling. 

The dream slowly transformed into the nightmare. Your silent scream did nothing to warn the boy and the large black vehicle backed fully over his broken body, before accelerating and crushing him one final time. 

The sobs started immediately, as you awoke with a start. But, this time there was a kindling of an emotion you had not felt in a long time. Hope. Allowing your head to drop back onto the pillow, you closed your eyes and concentrated on the dream. It is all right in front of you. The tall, blonde boy walking towards a street where full growth palm trees grew next to manicured lawns, surrounding large, stately houses. Suddenly, it loomed up in front of you in your memory, taking your breath away. The Murder House. So fully focused on the horror unfolding in the street, you had not noticed your surroundings. 

Most everyone in Los Angeles had heard of the Murder House. Numerous accounts of deaths that took place inside the imposing structure, plus rumors of hauntings, were infamous. It was even on some bullshit famous houses bus tour. Scrubbing both hands over your face, you struggled to focus. Did the boy live there? At the Murder House? Should you go knock on the door and try to explain everything to him? Would he even believe you? You glanced at the clock, 11:14 pm. Sighing deeply, your eyelids fluttered closed again. 

On the way home from work that night, you took a different route and drove into the expensive neighborhood. Being mid November, night had fallen by the time you stopped in front of the large house. A couple of the windows were dimly lit, but otherwise it looked dark and menacing. Aside from camping in the front yard and waiting for the boy to exit the house, you had no idea how to prevent your nightmare from coming true. 

Quickly scanning your few purchases at the grocery store, you wanted nothing more than to go home and collapse into bed. Pulling your wallet out of your bag, you paused when you noticed a familiar sequence of numbers in the total amount on the screen. $11.14. It is all right in front of you. A chill ran up your back.The next day was November 14th. 

Your boss was less than thrilled when you called out of work. Sighing deeply, he told you to take a few days and get your head straight.

Nervous energy coursed through you making sleep impossible. Pacing around the small living room, you tried to make a plan for the following day, How were you going to convince the boy to come with you? What if he didn’t believe you and you were forced to watch him die in person? Shaking your head, you pressed your fingers to your temples and forced the negative thoughts from your mind.

Before dawn you were driving across town, fingers drumming nervously on the steering wheel. Circling the block a few times once you reached the Murder House, you looked for the perfect place to leave your car. Fearing that the person in the black Range Rover would try to follow, you parked a couple of blocks away, thinking you would initially escape with the boy on foot. 

Judging by the appearance of the daylight in your dream, nothing would happen before mid afternoon, but you weren’t taking any chances. Sitting down on the ground, around the side of the house closest to the front door, you settled in to wait. As the day progressed, your agitation grew until you couldn’t sit still. 

The sound of a car engine in the distance pierced the quiet of the afternoon. 

Jumping to your feet, you heard a door slam and took off running towards the front of the house. The beautiful boy hesitated for a second on the threshold. Tears spilled out of big blue eyes and your heart broke at the boy’s devastated expression.  

Racing to his side, your words came out in a rush. “My name is Y/N. You are in terrible danger! I need you to come with me,” you said holding out your hand to him. Confusion passed over his beautiful, innocent face.

“Who are you?” The boy asked, bewildered. 

The sound of the car engine grew louder and you turned your head to spot the large black car speeding closer. 

Pushing down your fear, you turned back to look up into his tear filled eyes. “I am here to help, and I need you to come with me. Right now,” you said urgently. “What’s your name?’

“Michael,” the boy answered hesitantly. 

Stepping to face him, you grasped his biceps and met his luminous blue eyes. “Please, Michael! I promise I will explain everything, but we need to go!”

Something shifted in Michael’s gaze as he regarded you. “Ok,” he said as he slipped his hand into yours.  

Pulling Michael around the corner of the house, you heard the Range Rover’s brakes screech to a halt. Panic filled you and you broke into a run, dragging Michael along. The two of  you crossed over many yards, barged through gates and climbed short fences until you were standing next to your car. Unlocking the door and bundling Michael into the passenger seat, you looked around wildly. The street was still and quiet, but your adrenaline was spiking and you ran to jump into the car and peel out down the street. 

Glancing obsessively into you rear view mirror, you didn’t even begin to relax until you hit the freeway. A small sigh of relief escaped your lips. You turned to give Michael a reassuring smile.

“Where are we going?” he asked, a serious expression on his face.

Looking over at him, you began, “I don’t believe the people who were trying to hurt you know who I am. I think we will be safe at my apartment,” you replied.

A pause. “And then what?” Michael asked.

Reaching over to take his hand, you smiled at him. “We will figure it out, I promise you. I am going to take care of you Michael,” you swore. A sweet smile slowly graced his beautiful face and he pulled your clasped hands against his chest.

Epilogue

Tipping your head back against the lounge chair, you basked in the warmth of the smoggy Los Angeles sunset.

Michael appeared at your side holding two glasses of wine.

Sitting down on the chair next to yours, he deposited the glasses on the small side table and reached to take your hand in his much larger one. Lacing your fingers together, he brought your hand to his full lips,and pressed kiss after kiss against it.

Smiling, you gazed up at Michael’s impossible beauty, the dying sunlight illuminated his long, golden hair as it fell over his shoulders.

“Tell me again how you found me that day,” Michael asked quietly, his clear blue eyes gazing into yours. 

You had told Michael how you had found him numerous times, but once in a while he still liked to hear it. 

Placing your hands on his face, you pulled him towards you for a kiss, before looking back at him. 

“I dreamt about you Michael.”

Tagging some lovelies...

@venusxxlangdon @lovelylangdonx @sojournmichael @allyadarth @langdons-rep @queencocoakimmie @kaigitana @duranie100theunionofthesnake @sunshinemycat @langdvnshepherd @elena-75s-blog @bbyduncan @rocketgirl2410 @depressedbitch43 @flowing-imagination @witchbloodsworld @napping-is-my-favorite @langdondelrey @lennonlemon @itsnomystery @winxfred @soomishuwu @i-monky @thedeviltohisangel @frogmuttforever @manahime193 @deeppaperbatapricot @kleineshaeschen @bookobsssesed99 @wheredoiwhaaat25 @drama-penguins @dramapenguinthe3rd @j2samdeanfan @divinelangdon @moltenskeleton @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @ms-mead @divinelangdon

#michael langdon #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon x you

[mostthingskenobi]

THE SECRET DUKE OF MANDALORE

Summary: Obi-Wan is struggling to put the horrors of the Kadavo slave facility behind him. Desperately needing sanctuary, he makes his way to Mandalore. He and the Duchess Satine wander through the palace gardens, but Obi-Wan is not able to hide his anxieties from her. Will Satine be able to help Obi-Wan or will his emotions get the better of him?

This piece was inspired by a conversation I saw on Tumblr ( @forcearama and some other lovelies, thank you very much for the inspiration!!) . Some delightful folks were discussing how amazing it would be if it turned out that Obi-Wan and Satine had been secretly married all along (just like Anakin and Padme). I loved the idea! It got the ol’ gears in my head turning and this is what came out.

It’s not that fluffy, I suppose, but it’s my version of fluff.

It’s certainly not my best piece but I don’t really care. It was meant to be something fun for me to focus on. :)

If you’re interested, it takes place about a year after my other Obitine piece, A Jedi’s Resolve.

FAN ART INSPIRED BY THE STORY: Want to see some art for this story? Click Here to see Obi-Wan and Satine.

——————–

Mandalore

The gardens were lush and beautiful, their natural wildness flowing effortlessly with stone paths, cobbled bridges, and moss covered embankments; the walls were solid and high, protecting Obi-Wan and Satine from intrusive observations; the grounds were boundless, extending endlessly in every direction. A gentle evening breeze tousled the leaves above as little tufts of cottony fluff filtered through the low angled sunrays.

Obi-Wan could hardly remember the last time he had experienced such beauty. He could almost pretend nothing existed beyond this stone enclosure, no war nor death nor suffering. A tightness suddenly clenched in his chest and he held his breath until his rising emotions subsided.

These were Satine’s private gardens, constructed in the base of an ancient castle, planned and planted by her father’s family long before the modern domed cities dotted the planet. She kept them as a tribute to her father’s legacy, a symbol of a more elegant, softer side of Mandalore’s past. As she and Obi-Wan entered this sanctuary, and were no longer subject to her eavesdropping retinue, their conversation naturally dwindled. She was used to Obi-Wan’s manners and practiced conversation, but he was unusually quiet. His smile never quite reached his eyes, betraying his deeper sense of unrest. As they entered a warm sunny spot near several ancient trees, she suddenly felt his body tense against her hand that was still tucked under Obi-Wan’s arm. She realized he was holding his breath and that his teeth were clenched so tightly his jaw look twisted.

This could not go on. She took his hands in hers and led him under a tall tree with long, low-hanging undulating branches. Her voice was quiet and gentle. “I am glad to see you, my love, but you are not yourself.” She placed a hand on his cheek. “What’s happened, Obi-Wan? Why have you come?”

He closed his eyes and leaned into her palm, savoring the kindness. “I’ve been placed on mandatory leave,” he finally said flatly.

She was surprised. Kenobi would never willingly agree to being taken off the front lines. “Why would the Council do that to you?”

Obi-Wan shook his head and turned away. He began pacing back and forth, looking more exhausted than agitated. “I suppose it’s because I wasn’t able to focus, that I was short tempered and distracted.”

Satine’s brow crinkled into a skeptical frown. “That doesn’t sound like you at all. Did something specific happen to put you in this distracted state?”

He looked at her archly, half embarrassed, half frustrated. “I believe the term Master Yoda used was battle fatigue.”

She could see he hated to even say the phrase, and she could sense that he was not being entirely honest with her. He averted his eyes, turning to stare across the sunny garden; that was when she finally saw it. A barely healed scar was creeping up above the edge of his high collar, a pair of fierce, puckered intersecting lines that were irritated by the rubbing fabric. She came forward and gently pulled his collar aside, revealing a ghastly pattern cut through his flesh. She caught her breath, frozen in horror.

Obi-Wan did not recoil from her, did not try to hide his wounds. He simply took her hands in his, pulling them away from his neck, and said, “It’s nothing. Just another mission.” He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear then brushed his fingers along her cheek. “How I’ve missed you.”

There was a vulnerability in his eyes that Satine had never seen before, a heartbreak that she did not understand.

He looked down at her and smiled abashedly. “I’m sorry if I’ve put you in an awkward position by coming here. I couldn’t bear to stay on Coruscant but I truly had nowhere else to go.”

“Nonsense,” she said firmly, tracing his handsome brow with her fingertips. “You always have a place by my side.” She looked down at his strong fingers wrapped around her tiny wrist, marveling at the pleasure it gave her, when she noticed several deep lacerations carved across the back of his hand and along the edge of his thumb. Fear gripped her as she traced the lines that disappeared under his shirt cuff; the wounds were healed but they were grisly and looked painful.

“What is this?” she finally asked. “What’s happened to you, Obi-Wan?”

“It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

She felt like shouting at him for saying such a stupid thing, but she knew that would not help; she could sense that he needed comfort rather than provocation. “How can I not worry when you have so obviously been brutalized?”

They had an understanding, a new trust that was forged nearly a year ago when they had rekindled their passions. He knew she would not humiliate him or faun over him like a nurse, but he was still reluctant to tell her his truth; he did not want his horrors to become her nightmares.

“Tell me,” she urged.

He looked into her earnest eyes and he felt something in him budge, his inherent stubbornness yielded and allowed him to test this trust in a way he had never dared before. “Have you ever heard of the Zygerrian slave markets?”

She became very still as dread consumed her. “Yes,” she said quietly. “It’s said they are filled with unspeakable atrocities.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “The rumors are true.” He looked away, no longer able to make eye contact. “Several months ago an entire colony of Togrutas vanished from Kiros. Anakin and I were sent to investigate. We traced them to the Zygerrian markets. It was…” he swallowed thickly, is throat suddenly dry. “…It was a horrible place.”

Satine took his face in her hands as much for her own comfort as for his.

His voice was barely more than a whisper. “I made a stupid mistake.”

“But you don’t make mistakes,” she smiled gently, trying to brighten his mood.

“If only that were true.”

Satine touched the scars encircling his wrist. “It looks as though you paid dearly for your oversight.”

He suddenly looked like he might cry. He pushed away from her, desperation and anger flashing through his heart.

She wanted to reach out to him, wanted to take all his pain away, but she held herself in place, allowing him the space he needed.

“I wasn’t the only one who paid dearly,” he fumed. “I made an impulsive decision and misjudged my surroundings. The Zygerrians captured me and…” How could he tell her what they had done to him, what they did to the Togruta? Could he tell her how the Zygerrians dragged him into a cell where they beat and whipped him before leading him into the citadel market? How could he describe the Kadavo facility where innocent beings were tortured in front of him, because of him?

Obi-Wan felt like a great darkness was swallowing him. The entire weight of this brutal war seemed to crash down on him all at once. He curled in on himself, shaking with rage and unprocessed emotions; he had been fighting exhaustion and bitterness before they were sent to Zygerria, but afterwards he had been devastated and traumatized. Obi-Wan wanted to disappear, to escape the feelings that constantly preyed on him.

Heartbroken, Satine watched grief overwhelm the man she loved. She knew him well enough to not go charging in before he was ready. She gave him a moment to compose himself while rage boiled in her like a violent storm. Once again, as they had done countless times, the Jedi Council sent Kenobi into the anooba’s den without a second thought for the consequences. She despised their hypocrisy, their false claims for peace. How could they incessantly use Obi-Wan, take advantage of his diplomacy and kindness and strength without caring what it did to his soul?

She looked at him with renewed affection. His back was turned to her but she could see his eyes squeezed shut as he ran a hand over his face. This Jedi was the embodiment of altruism in a brutal galaxy; the horrible scars, the torture and pain he faced daily, were an enraging injustice. Obi-Wan Kenobi deserved better.

Satine went to him immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing their bodies together as she closed her lips over his, kissing him fiercely. She pushed her fingers through his thick auburn hair, pulling it gently until she felt his tension ease. He wrapped himself around her completely, his arms pulling her up onto her tiptoes, as he returned her kiss. Physical comfort was a rarity, if not outright forbidden, in the Code. Obi-Wan had thoroughly underestimated the healing power of being in Satine’s arms; she felt like she was designed for him, like her shape and smell and lips were the perfect match for his own. He had been self-conscious about coming to her in a moment of weakness, but as she held him and kissed him, he knew he had been a fool not to come sooner.

“If it is too horrible to speak of, you need never tell me what happened,” she finally whispered.

“That’s just it,” he said, resting his forehead against hers. “If I come to you tonight, you’ll see for yourself what happened.”

She understood him. “Is it so awful?” She could barely get the words out.

He took a steadying breath. “It is.”

Satine bit her lip, holding back the sob that threatened to climb up her throat. What had Obi-Wan suffered?

She controlled her emotions quickly; she could not allow herself a moment of weakness, she had to stay strong for him. “Your scars will never repel me,” she finally managed to say. “They may anger me, but only because the thought of anyone hurting you is abhorrent to me.” She ran a hand along his beard. “You need never be ashamed or self-conscious. I love you, not your body.” She gave him a sudden coy smile and brushed his lips with her thumb. “Well, I rather enjoy your body but that is another matter entirely.”

This tease elicited his first genuine smile, a little shy smirk that she rather enjoyed.

Sadly, the pleasure was short lived as his eyes grew narrow with dark thoughts. She shook him a little, trying to reinvigorate his strength. “Obi-Wan, I have never known you to be concerned with your appearance.” She snorted internally, realizing that the ridiculously handsome Jedi knew damn well how dashing he was. She also understood that he was not remotely concerned with superficial attraction, nor was his gorgeous hair, perfect bone structure, nor beautiful eyes meant to be intentionally distracting. Obi-Wan was naturally disarming, his charm never premeditated, and his good looks a blessing from the gods. She knew that his scars would not make him self-conscious; there was something darker bothering him.

He held his fists out in front of him, staring down at the awful marks stretching over his wrists and the back of his hands. “When I see my own body,” he said quietly, “I’m reminded of those who suffered far worse than I.”

“You carry too much pain in your heart, Obi-Wan. War does not agree with you.”

Satine’s words sent ice through his veins. This war had stretched him emotionally and physically; he did not know how much more he could take. When he was young he would never have believed the galaxy could hold so much suffering. He had always believed in the inherent goodness of life, that love, kindness, and empathy would win out in the end. For the first time, he was not so sure. Was it enough to find goodness in one’s own life, to live simply, to carve out one’s own corner of happiness? Was there any point carrying on an endless battle to protect the weak and continue standing up to injustice? Could he give up the cause?

No, he thought, I could never turn my back on those in need.

It was Obi-Wan’s nature to fight for what he believed in. But what if it destroyed him? What if his beliefs led him to ruin? What if it ruined the ones around him, the ones he loved?

As these thoughts raced through Obi-Wan’s mind, panic began to rise in his chest. His hands clenched into trembling fists while he fought for air. Just as he was about to collapse to the ground, Satine’s arms wrapped around him, shoring him up, pulling him protectively against her body. Obi-Wan curled into her, burring his face in the crook of her neck while he held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut. She gently kissed his temple and cheek and lips, whispering quietly to him in Mando’a.

“The Zygerrians used my strengths against me, undermined me at every turn,” he finally gasped out. “I can’t carry this burden anymore, Satine. It’s going to kill me.”

She looked him squarely in the eyes and spoke firmly. “Then confess it all to me. Right now. Tell me everything. Say what needs to be said. You must not keep this toxin in your heart.”

The idea of divulging his burdens frightened him but he could not stop the words before they poured out. “I hold so many lives in my hands; those who fight by my side, those whom I love, those that I train. But there are others, innocent lives that are lost because of my decisions, beings on planets I may never visit. So many people have died because of me.”

Satine hated to hear Obi-Wan say such a thing about himself, but she refused to interrupt him; the pain he carried was too real.

“That responsibility hangs over me everyday. Nothing distilled that more clearly than my time spent on Kadavo.” He could see that she had never heard of the place. “It’s a slave processing facility, or it was before the Jedi destroyed it. It’s where the Zygerrians took me, it’s where the Togruta colonists were being held.”

She slowly began to understand; Obi-Wan had not just been taken prisoner, he had been taken as a slave. The Zygerrians were known for their brutal use of laser whips, for “processing” poor creatures with torture and hard labor until they became acquiescent. Her eyes became wide as she realized how Obi-Wan had received his scars.

“Every time I tried to help I just made things worse. I’ve never been so helpless in my whole life.” He could not bring himself to say anymore.

Satine was horrified. This man lived to help others; he relied on his strengths in the face of injustice. What had these monsters done to break him so completely? She could sense there was more that he was not telling her, and though she truly feared what she would discover, she had no intention of leaving him to suffer on his own.

“Show me,” she finally said. “If you cannot bring yourself to say it out loud then show me. Share your burdens, Obi-Wan.”

He was shocked by her suggestion. “I couldn’t,” he said. “You shouldn’t have to witness that kind of horror.”

She could see he was conflicted, not wanting to expose her to violent images but desperate for relief. She pulled herself up to her full height, regal, elegant, and powerful. “Isn’t that why you came to Mandalore? Didn’t you come seeking comfort, seeking to unburden yourself? Didn’t you come here, to me, because you knew I could help carry your pain?”

He hated to admit it but her words were true. Of all the beings in the galaxy, he had needed Satine, truly needed her, because she had unmatched strength. She had seen her world burn but never lost faith in her people. She knew Obi-Wan more intimately than anyone else. He chose to come to Mandalore almost on instinct, without a second thought, yearning for Satine’s fortitude and compassion. He would have been embarrassed to ask anyone else for assistance, and he had been certain that if she could help him she would do it without question.

Satine pulled him close and ran her hands up the back of his head through his hair, causing him to shudder. She watched his soft eyelashes flutter before she placed a lingering kiss at the corner of his mouth. “You know I am strong,” she said quietly. “I have seen misery and war. I’m not afraid, Obi-Wan. Share your pain with me and I will help carry your heavy heart.”

He scooped Satine up, desperate to hold her, both arms wrapping around her waist. He looked into her pale blue eyes for a moment before gently pressing his lips against hers, reveling in the soft warmth. The more he kissed her the more intoxicated he felt. If only he could stay with her forever.

She always forgot how strong he was; his arms slid up her curves as his kiss deepened. He was not a bulky man but he was exquisitely fit and Satine always found herself nearly delirious with pleasure when he cast aside his reserve and defied the Jedi’s ridiculous rules. However, despite their mutual desire, she sensed sickening tension throughout his body.

“Show me now,” she whispered.

He understood her immediately. He pulled her tighter, enveloping her body, placing his hands flat across her back. Then, in spite of his better judgment, he kissed her again and used the Force to reveal the horrors he experienced on Zygerria and Kadavo.

The pleasure of their intertwined bodies took the edge off the pain, deadened the terror ever so slightly.

As Obi-Wan unveiled more and more, and their emotions grew stronger, Satine held on to him with manic hands, desperately fighting the sensation that she was falling into a dark, endless chasm. The images he shared washed over her faster than she could process.

Obi-Wan was shot in the back of his right shoulder and fell off a brezak into the clutches of the Zygerrian guard. They bashed him in the face with a blaster before dragging him into the catacombs beneath the citadel. His only comfort was they did not suspect he was a Jedi.

Obi-Wan was chained to a wall in a dark, miserable cell. He was lashed endlessly and interrogated by Atai Molec, the Zygerrian prime minister, who had recognized Kenobi almost immediately.

Obi-Wan was in the auction square, his body beaten and bloody, fighting dozens of Zygerrian guards, when a laser whip made contact with the shock collar around his throat. The searing pain that radiated through his body made him lose consciousness.

Obi-Wan stood on a Kadavo landing platform and watched helplessly as seven Togrutas fell to their death, plummeting into a bottomless pit – a special welcoming gift from the processing center’s warden, Keeper Agruss.

Togruta men, women, and children toiled in a dark, sweltering mine; some were worked to death, others were beaten as entertainment for the guards, most were lashed regularly for no reason at all.

A Togruta male was nearly whipped to death because Obi-Wan had spoken out of turn. Whenever the Jedi stepped out of line the Zygerrians made him watch while they tortured an innocent colonist. It was the worst punishment a Jedi could endure.

It did not take long for Obi-Wan to become desperate. He was not sure Anakin would ever find them. He was not sure he would ever be free of this hell designed especially for him. Many gentle souls were tortured in his name. He had never known such agony.

Satine was suddenly released from the visions and she pushed away from Obi-Wan turning her back on him. Breathing heavily, fighting unimaginable heartbreak, she looked out at the beautiful swaying trees and the gauzy sunlight filtering through the soft leaves. The lovely view was a strange contrast to the horror she had just seen. Tears streamed silently down her cheeks as she tried to process the senseless violence that Obi-Wan had been forced to experience. “This is why the Council required you to take mandatory leave?”

“Yes.”

“Battle fatigue?”

He snorted. “Yes.”

“Do they know the extent of what happened?”

Obi-Wan cleared his throat uncomfortably. “They know some of what happened.”

“How do you carry all this despair on your own?” she asked.

“I don’t have much choice.”

She turned to face him. “Not anymore.” She crossed to him and folded herself into his arms, pressing her cheek against his chest. “You are not alone in this universe, Obi-Wan. You must allow others to help you.”

“I’m so sorry, Satine. I shouldn’t have shown you.”

“No, you misunderstand me. I will always help you, my love, no matter how heavy your burden. We will help each other. You have cared for me in the past, tended to my safety and protected me. Now I will do the same for you.”

A flicker of hope flared up in his heart. She was right; he was not alone. He had her. He had a love, and she was strong and spectacular. “Thank you,” he whispered.

She pulled back and looked up into his brilliant blue eyes. “That’s what a good wife does.”

Surprise flashed across his face as his gaze sharpened. “Wife?” He was shocked to see Satine blush for the first time since they were young.

“Would you like to marry me, Obi?”

His mouth hung open until he finally said, “You’re asking me now, in a moment like this, after seeing all that misery?”

“Yes. It’s clearer to me than ever before. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Our lives are too short to be wasted. We will be stronger together than we are as individuals.” She looked at him with burning vibrant eyes. “Well?” she prodded impatiently. “Do you agree? Would you like to be my husband?”

He blinked, dumbfounded. Then he said, “Yes. I would.”

It was Satine’s turn to be shocked. She had not expected him to say yes. In truth, she expected him to smirk and tease her before dismissing the idea. “You would?”

He nodded then brought her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her palm.

“What about the Code?”

“Do you want me or not?” he teased.

“I do,” she said incredulously, “but I never thought you would defy the Jedi so blatantly.”

“I defied them the moment I fell in love with you, and again on Coruscant when we spent that night together in your rooms…”

“That was rather fun,” she interrupted with a coy laugh.

He smiled roguishly. “Indeed it was.” He took both her hands in his. “I want to marry you. But I will not leave the Jedi.”

“Then it is to be a secret?”

He nodded.

“Yes, I suppose it must be,” she said, thinking out loud. “Very well. You will be my secret husband.” She smiled brightly.

He leaned in and kissed her, a sense of pure joy flooding over him; he felt happy for the first time in months. A thought suddenly crept into his mind, a perfect jibe to tease her with. “Does this mean I will be a duke?” he asked arching his brow.

“Secret dukes do not hold any power in Mandalore. I’m afraid your title would be strictly ornamental, and you would not be free to disclose your status to anyone but me…”

“Wedding’s off then!” he shouted.

As he laughed, she swooped in and kissed him before he could tease her any further.

Growing more serious again, his eyes softened as he gently ran a thumb along the corner of her mouth. A new, more self-conscious thought had suddenly taken hold of him. “After all you’ve just seen, are you sure you really want me?”

Satine’s response was simple and final. “I’ve only ever wanted you, Obi-Wan.”

——————–

SEQUEL CHAPTER

I've written the next scene in a separate fic called

When Obi-Wan Married Satine

.

Hope you enjoyed :)

READ IT ON AO3 - Kudos and comments welcome :-)

——————–

CHECK OUT SOME OF MY OTHER WORK

The Dark Side of Obi-Wan Kenobi - Part 1 Summary: What would it take for Obi-Wan Kenobi to lose faith in the Jedi Code? Darth Maul and some other baddies are eager to find out. An AU where Obi-Wan does not escape Mandalore after Satine’s death. Darth Maul makes good on his threat and imprisons Kenobi in the Sundari prison. Will our handsome ginger-bearded Jedi Master survive or will Maul exact perfect revenge?

A Jedi’s Resolve Summary: Obi-Wan and Satine finally have a moment alone. Will he stand by his Jedi Code, or will she force his resolve to crack? Takes place during Season 2 of The Clone Wars after episode 14, “Duchess of Mandalore.”

Wounded Jedi Summary: When Obi-Wan is gravely injured during a botched rescue operation, he turns to Mandalore for sanctuary. Reunited with Satine after months of separation, the Jedi and his Duchess find it difficult to resist their desires. A bit of blood and violence, some merciless flirting, and some classy smut.

Jedi Nightmares Summary: It’s been about 3 months since Qui-Gon was killed. Obi-Wan is struggling with nightmares, desperately missing his Master, while Anakin is trying to conquer his own fear. An emotional, fluffy piece where Kenobi wakes in the middle of the night and hears his Padawan having a bad dream in the other room. Obi-Wan battles his emotions while helping Anakin navigate his own. Lots of fluff, angst, and love.

#obitine #obitine fanfiction #obitine fic #obi-wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi #obi-wan #obi wan #kenobi #obi-wan fanfiction #obi-wan fic #satine #satine kryze #duchess of mandalore #duchess satine #mandalore #star wars #star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #clone wars fanfic #kadavo #kadavo arc #escape from kadavo #zygerria #zygerrian #fanfic #star wars fanfiction #fanfiction #ao3fic #ao3 #sort of fluff

[demonicheadcanons]

“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.” with Yoosung saying it to MC thANKS NO RUSH ILY

Yoosung and MC caughtin the rain

Prompt: “No, like...it’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

(AN: Gah this promptis adorable and it’s even better because??? It’s Yoosung saying it?? I love himso much, thank you for this prompt Anon! I hope I do it justice! Even though Ikinda strayed from it a lot ;; This is longer than I intended for it to be ;;

Feel free to send inmore prompts! Take care, and enjoy!)

You and Yoosung both squeaked and squealed as the rainthundered down heavily on the two of you. Yoosung quietly cursed to himself,grabbed your hand, and started running, making sure you didn’t slip and fall atany point.

You had been out on a date, a week after the RFA party. Aweek after he asked you to be his partner properly, and you happily agreed.Just the memories of it make him blush and smile to himself. He had just beendischarged from the hospital, and he wanted to spend his first full free daywith you.

He had suggested something calm and quiet, as he was verynew to this, and because he was already getting odd looks for the bandagescovering a little under half his face.

Yoosung had to go to the others for advice, but they allsuggested things that were just a bit off to him for his proper first date. Hedidn’t want to go to a cinema or a fancy restaurant or to just sit in hisapartment with you. He wanted it to be relaxing and comfortable and he wantedto spend as much time with you as he could, somewhere pretty and public butalso relatively secluded and quiet.

In the end up, the two of you met up at a café, but hesuggested you get your drinks to take away so that you could go for a walk andjust chat by yourselves. It would not only be more comfortable for him, butwould also make it more difficult for any of the other RFA members to listen inor intrude on your date. Things had to be perfect.

An hour in to your walk, things were going really well. Itwas a comfortably warm day, and so neither of you had thought to bring a jacket– although Yoosung was wearing his signature hoodie. You had kept up a nearconstant chatter, learning more and more about each other, and he loved it.

And then it happened. The wind suddenly picked up, andclouds began to form and cloud in the sky. It must’ve taken a good while tobuild up, but he had been so invested in chatting with you that he didn’tnotice until you sighed and looked up at the now grey sky. The raindrop hit hisforehead directly and trickled down his nose, and you giggled as he wiped itaway with his sleeve, smiling sheepishly before looking panicked.

You weren’t too far away from his apartment, maybe a fifteenminute walk, but the rain had begun to fall faster and faster. He took off hishoodie and gave it to you to keep you warm, ignoring the fact that it meant hewas left in a short-sleeved t-shirt and jeans. Anything to keep you happy andsafe.

You had pulled on the hoodie quickly, and that was whenYoosung took your hand and started running, explaining to you in short burststhat you could wait out the storm in his apartment.

He was beginning to panic as the rain soaked in to his shirtand jeans, making him shake, and he glanced back to see the hoodie you werewearing was drenched too, and your hair was sticking to your forehead and neck,and yet you looked fairly amused with the way things were going, even laughinghere and there. You were so cute.

Whilst in the process of turning to face forward again, hestumbled, tripping over his feet and in seconds he was on the pavement. He hadlet go of your hand, and so thankfully he hadn’t pulled you down too, and hehad managed to catch himself on his hands and knees, but the stinging pain inhis hands was overwhelming. Still, he stood up, forcing himself to focus, andhe apologised sheepishly before wiping his hand on his jeans so he could takeyour hand again.

The rest of the way, you were both more careful, and he madesure to face forward the entire time, no matter how tempting it was to glanceback at you. His bandage was starting to get irritating, sticking to his faceand eyelids, and he was so glad when you both got to his apartment, drenchedand gasping for air. You burst out in laughter as he pulled you inside thebuilding, and you both happily waited for the elevator – you had done enoughexercise for the week in that run.

Yoosung held on to the railing in the elevator as he foughtto regain his breath, eventually becoming composed again. He glanced over atyou, and immediately began apologising. He hadn’t thought the date would go thisway; the weather forecast had said it would be a relatively sunny and brightday.

You chuckle and cup his cheek with your hand, and heimmediately leans in to your touch and visibly relaxes, although his breathingbecomes more shallow and a blush forms on his face. Even so, he smiles at youand you smile back.

The rest of the elevator journey is spent in a comfortablesilence. When you get to Yoosung’s floor, he fumbles for his keys and thenopens the door, apologising for the slight mess – his school books arescattered across the table from a failed study session, the cords for his computerare a mess, and there are a couple plates by the sink. It’s a nice kind ofmess, giving the apartment a lived-in vibe, and so you tell him this and hebrightens up immediately.

This doesn’t last long as you reach up to touch his bandagegently, frowning.

“We should probably put a fresh bandage over your eye,” youtell him, and he nods and retreats in to his room for a moment. You follow,standing at the doorway, and watch him as he goes through some of his clothes,not noticing you.

This would be the perfect moment to run up to him and scarehim, but you decide he’s had enough problems for today, and so you stand therein silence until he turns around and jolts anyway at the sight of you.

“Oh, MC, I didn’t realise you were standing there, I’msorry,” he says, smiling nervously. He holds up some sweatpants and anotherhoodie – a dark blue hoodie with stars decorating the pocket, the hood, and theinside of the hoodie. “I was trying to find some clothes you could change into. You know, just so you don’t get a cold in the ones you’re already wearing.”

You go over to him and give him a hug, beaming. “You’re sosweet Yoosung. Thank you so much.”

You go to get changed, leaving him to change in his bedroom,and a few moments later the two of you are sitting on the sofa in the livingroom. He won’t look directly at you, and you smile playfully and cup his facein your hands, forcing him to direct his attention towards you.

“Hey, what’s up? Do I look really bad in these clothes?” youask, pretending to be upset, pouting slightly at him.

“No, of course not! You look amazing, as always,” he admits,and then he blushes a deep red.

“So what is it? Have I done something wrong?” You can’t stopthe anxiety creeping in to your voice, and he immediately takes one of yourhands in his and kisses your knuckles.

“No, like... it’s just, I can’t believe you’re actuallywearing my clothes.”

You chuckle and lean forward, kissing his gently, feelingsome water against your forehead as you lean it against his.

He still has the wet bandage on, and he’s biting his lip asyou glance at it now.

“You want me to help you change the bandage, Yoosung?” youask, raising a hand to start unwinding it.

He flinches and then looks away guiltily, apologising. Hetakes a deep breath before sighing, his eye watering slightly.

“It’s not that I’m afraid you’ll hurt me or anything, it’sjust that I don’t actually really know how bad my eye looks, and I don’t wantit to freak you out or anything,” he mumbles, staring at the floor, tears threateningto spill from his good eye.

You’re even more gentle and careful this time as you takethe clean bandage from him and start to unwind the one he’s wearing. This timehe lets you, his gaze flickering between your face and the carpet. When you getthe bandage off, his eye looks really painful, and you feel yourself tearing upas you run your hand down the side of his face. This happened to him because hewanted to protect you.

“Is... is it bad? Am I hideous?” he asks, gigglingnervously, trying to lift the mood.

Instantly you lean in and gently, carefully, kiss hisforehead above his eye. He looks a bit taken aback when you pull away.

“It just shows how brave you are, my prince,” you tell him,forcing yourself to smile as you get up to bin the old bandage, before helpinghim put on the new one. As always, he’s blushing, your compliment making hischeeks a bright red colour. At least he is smiling now though.

The two of you end up seated beside each other on the sofafor a few hours, as the rain gently patters against the window, watching moviestogether. You both have a love for animated movies, and so you’re watchingthose when suddenly you feel a weight on your shoulder, and look over to seeYoosung has fallen asleep. You run a hand through his hair and move slightly,and his arm tightens around you as he cuddles up to you.

It’s not long before you fall asleep too. Yoosung is the firstto wake, in the middle of the night, and he just blinks slowly, yawning, beforerealising what has happened. You’re both now lying down on the sofa, with himsupporting you with one arm around your waist. You’re facing him, but you’refast asleep. He snuggles up closer to you, and you both sleep there untilmorning.

#yoosung kim #mystic messenger #yoosung x mc #headcanon #prompt #thank you so much for this prompt #seriously i love it afjskng #my writing #ask #anonymous #Anonymous #hush now karma

[givenupgivingup]

My life - a minor breakdown

Wondering when is the part in life going to come, where I feel like I'm able to do things for myself and make calls on my own, drive long distances alone and pick myself up on bad days, maintain a stable job and not be overwhelmed by work. How and when am I going to learn these things because I'm currently putting off finding a real job due to anxiety, I'm hiding all my problems under a rug whilst the urge to quit uni, run away to another country and self harm increases daily and I feel as though I have a swarm of thoughts swirling around my head all day everyday.

I keep day dreaming about being laid somewhere quiet warm and sunny with a pretty view and a cat sat on my stomach purring while it sleeps. My happy place.