#it’s such a good speech but why did I do it

[strangerhottotties]

Just an Eddie thought. Him calling reader Girl Scout or something similar after realizing why they know all these knots that are definitely not used for their intended purpose…

Not me immediately researching knots and rigging 🤣🤣🤣

The first time it captures his attention is in the upside down, or right before you come out.

"Shit!" Dustin curses for the forth time, trying to tie the sheets together above you. You watch the sheets slip apart as the yank, not holding at all.

"Dustin! Throw them over here!" You finally demand through the chorus of groaning. Dustin glances up at you.

"I can do it!" He yells.

"Dustin! It is cold, and gross, and slimy over here! Throw me the goddamn sheets or so help me, I will climb through it without it and you do not want that!"

Dustin yeilds halfway through your speech, using Lucas to help him haul all the sheets up and throw them through in balls of fabric. Eddie watches with amusement as you don't even stall once, dropping into a low squat to retrieve them. Your immediately not just tying the ends together, but using real knots.

It's a practiced motion. You've done this, he thinks, more than once. There's no hesitation and in under ten seconds you have the first two sheets linked together.

Eddie tilts his head as he watches you tug them tight and slide to the next knot. You barely even looking, still paying avid attention to the conversation around and contributing. You are sparing glances at your hands but in under a minute your launching the rope of sheets into the air and Eddie is wondering to himself, exactly how you knew how to do that.

"Good job, girl scout," he comments and in the dim lighting, he watches as your cheeks darken.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks." You reply, avoiding eye contact.

Eddie knows in that moment. He doesn't have solid evidence, but he knows. You're either a rigger or a rope bunny. At least until everyone's trying to find something in Eddie's music collection that he catches you staring at the cuffs slung on the wall.

It's inopportune to ask further questions for well... nearly the whole day it ate him. And then when he was hot wiring that RV... oh, did he see the way you were looking at him. That far away look in your eyes, he caught in the wide rear view mirror, made him flash pearly whites your way.

When Eddie hops up to allow Steve to drive, climbing into the back he makes a beeline to the seat you're in. As Steve pulls out Eddie's dropping down beside you, and the rough run out of the trailer park has you toppling right into Eddie's lap.

"Sorry! Shit!" You squeak in a way that goes south in the best possible way for Eddie.

"S'okay, Girl Scout," he purrs in your ear. He eats the flustered glare you give him right up as Steve evens the rig out on the road.

"Stop calling me that," you hiss, "I'm not a girl scout."

"Oh," he tells you with a malicious grin, "I know." He leans into your ear. You blink owlishly at him, and loves to watch your face go all horrorish and flushed pink. "But, uh, when this whole thing is over... You'll have to show me the, uh, other knots you know."

"Oh," you repeat and after a beat of silence, "okay," is your response. For a moment, Eddie thinks the universe might be balancing out for all the shit that it's slinging at him.

He spends the rest of the ride to the store with his hand on your thigh.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fics #eddie munson smut #asks #eddie munson fanfic #asks and replies

[sagephilosophie]

ROYAL REQUEST

┆RINDOU H.

Chapter I : Rindou's Lover 「Masterlist」

꩜ Chapter Tags ▸ NSFW, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Fluff and Smut, Safe Sane and Consensual sex, Love Confessions, First Times, Birthday Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Breeding, Aftercare, Mutual Pining, Rindou being a simp, Some political speech, Ran haitani being a spoiled brat, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence (But only in a one sentence and that's it), Minor Character Death, Bonten arc appearance Haitanis, Arranged Marriage.

꩜ Word Count ▸ 7260

"Good morning, your grace", Rindou heard that from one of the maids as to get him to start his day, while two others were making way for the sun to shine through his chamber, getting the curtains out of the way. Which woke him up.

The young royal stretched out a bit, before scanning his surroundings, dreamy purple eyes landed on the maids, one already carrying a robe for him, the others standing still untill his movement off the bed to change the sheets and get to cleaning.

He slackly got off the velvet mattress, turning his muscular back to the maid letting her to put the robe on him.

"Are my father and brother up ?"

"His majesty and the prince are in the dining hall waiting for your arrival"

"Have they been waiting for long ?"

"Not at all, your grace", Rindou chanted a 'hum' of approval before sliding off the maid and signaling her to take her leave.

-

"Good morning, father", Rindou sat by the side of the king at a long rectangular table cornered with empty chairs, only three of them were filled, it had all what a human could think of containing appetizing meals and even far additions for supplies that wouldn't cross a mind; from all the fresh food and beverage found from the best of the best from all inches of the world, and the young duke finds himself distressed; it's a huge waste, yet he maintains grateful toward the fortune he was gifted, promising to use it for the greater good,

"Ran.", It's how he salutes his brother who just stared at him sluggishly, he had no idea how this man ahead of him is meant to be the crown prince with his laziness. Scratch that, how did he win over the entire kingdom effortlessly is what bothered the young duke. But he paid him no mind.

"Good morning, Rindou", the aged king greets back, half focused on his son, struggling to fill the silver plate ahead of him. Father Haitani was once a handsome young monarch desired by all the women across the kingdoms, and debatably, exceeds his sons' charm, alas his god-gifted youth consumed by time left him grey and ailing.

"Say, son," Rindou had an idea where this was going, "any luck of meeting the future mother of my grandchildren....", 'This again...' Rindou thinks, "...while im still alive ?", The king took a bite of his silver plate therefore allowing the royal brothers to begin their breakfast.

He sighs 'why aren't these question addressed to Ran'. It's these little converstation starters like this that gets Rindou's bitterness towards the first born haitani, and his own insecurities, sharpened. The way his brother is free from expectations and observations makes it clear how favored he is.

"No, father, i already told you im more concentrated in my position"

"You know as royals, marriage serve us heirs", his father kept eye talking with his second son and stopped eating, "without future rulers, the kingdom our ancestors worked hard to build will turn into ashes"

Rindou hated it, when his father will turn a blind eye to his hard work into improving their land and serving the poeple, overlooking the positive outcome of his role as a duke, Only to give him more unnecessary missions that'll only harm him and do nothing for his or the others' sake.

"The family i'll make will not be any necessary addition for the monarchy, isn't that Ran's duties ?"

"Your brother is already meant to marry from a nearby kingdom, his future and ours have already been secured thanks to his early decision", the younger Haitani felt his blood boiling to the indirect comparison the King is making, "but then how about you, son ?"

Rindou found himself slaming the corner of the table that was infront of him while getting up. There have been a rigid silence for a while with the Duke composing his breath and sanity, whilst his father's eyes are piercing through him.

"I'll take my leave now, i have some arrangements today, now if you excuse me", forcing himself back to his unruffled nature, he excused himself out of the dining hall.

He had better places to be.

Right near his beloved princess.

-

Rindou sat on the moving carriage, relying on counting the decreasing time until they reach his destination, but the orchestrated action was eventually forgotten by the royal, eyes fixed on his territory slowly pass out of his sight.

It'll be an understatement to say he loved his land, Rindou had a tender spot for his homeland, he and his brother have been raised with a mutual aim, to rule the Roppongi kingdom and keep the legacy everlasting.

That very thought kept the flame inside the Duke to burn brighter and it have been lightning up the darkest points of the crown.

Neither commoners nor nobility could deny how well his job is done, Rindou have been an example of a true hardworking leader, thanks to his formulated plannings - and most importantly, determination - he had developed his domain into a powerful estate, just like how he envisioned, yet there was always room for improvement in Rindou's side.

The younger Haitani takes his duties by heart, he adores the Roppongi kingdom and its wonders, and the day he was entitled as a duke, have made an oath to himself and all the active participants in progressing their empire, that he'll dedicate his life for his land and only use his authorities to benefit the nation.

Rindou had to admit he have felt undesrving of his privileges at first, yet over time he overcame that thought by understanding that without his power and title, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to protect and serve his poeple, even from those who are misusing their authorities.

However, there is one person Rindou can't do anything about, the one thing getting in the way of Rindou's hard work; Who is none other than his older brother.

Ran was the humanized image of the corrupt politician Rindou swore to never be. He wanted the power just for the sake of having the power, for his own selfish schemes.

For their whole life, Ran have been the pampered one, getting the title of the crown prince right at his feet just for being a first born, and that title have gained him respect across the kingdom, and by time, his ego have been taking over the entirety of the dry land. The older Haitani, got credit for stuff that never happened, for his nonexistent duties and sacrifices, yet for his surely capturing charm.

The younger have never called his vision of his brother jealousy, but rather bitterness for all his undeserved received attention, he would have paid him no mind only if he wasn't there to get in the way of his plans, and make dumb decisions with no second thoughts, and all the cleaning up his brother has to do afterwards.

Whilst Ran aims for the title of a royal, Rindou aim for the title of a royal.

That's when the Shibuya kingdom comes in handy. After some time of Ran's recklessness, their father had came to a fateful decision to make an agreement with nearby kingdoms and unify their power, it comes with the benefit of decisions looked into more thoroughly and a faster way to solve issues, the more the better.

Shibuya kingdom have been one of - if not - the biggest economical, agricultural, political, and soldierly turfs. There have been a time where Rindou even saw them as rivals, but even with the great power the Roppongi kingdom holds, they were no match to them.

By the younger Haitani's 15th month of October, introductions were made between the nobel successors, at the day of the agreement. He still remembers the details from that day very thoroughly.

The reigning monarchs sat at the overhead tower of Shibuya kingdom's palace, where their meeting takes place. Shifting all the way down from the tower spire to the lush garden, where the 4 youngsters can be located.

"Ran get up... at least introduce yourself...", whisper-yelled Rindou, fed up with the situations his brother keeps him in.

The crown prince took a look at the foreign visages, and had a nearby bench replace a bed to nap on. And now there is an awkward aura pressing the blonde too tight for his liking.

He tilted his head cautiously from where Ran was seated, taking a subsequent look at the Kantou kingdom prince now climbing a tree to - as Rindou concluded - catch a bird, and the Shibuya kingdom princess, inactive in the bird-catching event but gazing.

At a moment of comfort, Rindou approached her, "Looks like we're the only stable ones around", That got a giggle out of her, "actually Haru have never been so...", she took an additional look at Haru who was now fighting for his life with a furious bird pecking his head, "...tranquil."

It was now Rindou's turn to giggle, "then we're in the same condition", attention back at his slumbering brother.

"he isn't so bad, you must've not met Manjiro"

"Eh? The Tokyo empire prince? You met him? Woah i've only heard of him..."

"that's because he spends most of his time sleeping and eating"

"Better than sleeping and beating up guards"

"Heh he will get along with Keisuke then"

Rindou felt relief running through him again once he got ahold of how smoothly the converstation was going.

Then it clicked,

"oh excuse my manners, princess...", he faintly bowed and grabbed her hand delicately, like a priceless jewel, keeping his lips from touching the flesh yet having it thinly distanced for his fair share of satisfaction, his right hand on his chest lightly, "Haitani Rindou.", dreamy dripping eyes dropped shut at the contact of his lips and the back of her hand, devouring the slow moment.

He had no idea where that confidence came from that moment, he could've never managed to to pull that greeting in a normal circumstance. Maybe it has been the sense of security he felt that had his hesitancy long forgotten, just for a moment. After the introduction was done, the first thing he did afterward was looking back at the princess,

In her behalf, she found herself put on edge. As a princess she have been tought the etiquette well to be the representation of grace and elegance, this is far from her first royal greeting, and it still flusterated her, which caught her off guard far more than how Rindou did, yet as a princess the best immediate action to take was to compose herself,

"(Name), pleasure to meet you"

"The pleasure is mine"

Rindou straightened himself once more, the once pleasant aura have eased to both of their displeasure. And rindou tensed when he got a look at the strained - and still composed - (name) gazing down, as to not meet his eyes. And Rindou had to do something about the awkwardness,

"Ahem you know... im glad we got to talk"

"Same."

Silence fell again,

"well... my birthday, it's tomorrow... and...", now she was observing him, a source of ease found its way back in her veins, while additional fluster reached Rindou's behalf,

"if you would like... to come to my party?", Was a muffled murmer, too faint, too shy, voiced with fear of obvious nervousness exposed - if he were to be heard - but the pink nose and cheeks tint already gave it off.

"I'd love to".

-

The carriage made it's stop at a lavish palace Rindou remembers by heart. The guards stood on parallel lines, saluting the Duke.

He took slow steps towards the open massive door welcoming his arrival, the intent was to reach for the meetings tower, that's what got him invited in to begin with.

But Rindou knew - he just knew - he couldn't trust his conscious not taking him to the garden. It's laughable, really. The same Rindou, who despised the existence of anyone that got some audacity standing in the face of his ancestors' heritage and threaten to terminate it, is more than capable of betraying his time and schedule, even his mind and body - where's the extra voice denying this coming from anymore ? he doesn't know and wouldn't listen anyway - just to get a little bit near.

It have been true, Rindou did predict his beliefs and values to get lost somewhere in his memories when getting closer to her was inevitable.

"Princess!", yes, his self betrayed him and chose its real owner than the morals he valued so much, but Rindou still trusted his heart when it told him she'll be in here.

It's times like this that teach him to trust his guts more often.

"Ha?", (name) was shining from Rindou's vision, she barely got a reason to make a sound, he would've found her and there would've been no logic to explain how, "Oh, Rin? greetings"

"Good day, Princess," by the aid of heaven was he able to look unfazed, it's being wondered in his head if his mother was being legit when telling him heaven favoured lovers, "i haven't interrupted your morning walk, have i ?"

"Not at all, it's always a delight having you here", the smallest bits of comfort she gives, purify Rindou and the unsettling gloom he carries. "do you have any business here?"

Rindou was well aware of the reputation he made for himself, and it have been beneficial for most times when dealing with entrepreneurs, that he isn't playing when it came to work, but having it reach to his sweetheart princess - even if she was being genuine - got his heart uncontrollably aching. She seemingly noticed his sudden tensing though, and had her way to ease it up, "Care for a walk? If you're free"

'"of course, Princess, there are still some time until the meeting anyway"

(Name) drew her attention back ahead of her and lead the way to a nonexistent temporary destination, and Rindou plaintly followed after.

He looked at her with so much admiration in his eyes, how he had appeared so calm and collected was still an enigma even for Rindou, yet have never been so grateful for the unknown source.

Over the decade of familiarity between both royals, something magical made a home out of his soul.

The Shibuya kingdom was on top of its game in everything, including their monarchs. The princess have been well loved and admired all across her kingdom, she got the charm, in the term his brother could never reach.

He was aware of the strict instructions and guides majority of princesses - including ones from an important force like Shibuya kingdom - were required to receive, but she had natural gifts; serenity and composure. They certainly are principal values that emphasizes a princess from a commoner, however that was just her thing no one could've done it better, it was an unallied geniune charisma assisted further with the etiquette toturing.

Her elegance, her grandeur, her neatness, her ingenuity, Rindou have fallen in no time. He barely caught track of the time the passion bloomed, too bewitched by the mystique of... her, just her.

Despite the allure he has been captured in, Rindou still kept a miniature soundness of mind to refrain him from - more likely than not - recklessness.

He is aware that she's not his.

He is well aware she is meant to bond with Sanzu, not him.

He is aware.

His soul isn't.

Rindou, in spite of his youth, has been to war, has killed a man coldheartedly alongside his brother, has resolved to violence more often than a heard-it-all pass-by could assume. Never in his life had he thought sounds of four words could've broke him the day it did, it was too sudden, too mindblowing, yet too obvious, and Rindou felt humiliated by his own self for being pity, for getting his hopes too high as if he was ever favored.

That night he shed tears, the possibilty of Rindou allowing emotions to exit its shell has became an urban legend by villagers and commoners, all they ever spoke about was the fearless Duke who formed a rivalry with his weakness, but that night he cried an ocean.

He still think of that night and doubts the devotion of his memories, the last tears that have been shed before that day were a little Rindou's, who can barely say his name, fighting the soil between him and his mother with the small hands to feel her warmth.

He wasn't that little Rindou anymore, his hands don't search for warmth, it searches for weapons to slay whoever disrespects his land. But that little Rindou never died, there were no corpse or a funeral for the little one, he was buried alive in the current Rindou still itching for tenderness every now and then.

"I'm courted to Haru" (name) informed him that day, it was the day she came of age and were informed herself.

Her relationship with Sanzu have been less than lovers more than friends, there were no hard feelings involved and throughout their lives, she got plenty of time to get comfortable and befriend the other, however there have been no spark and it showed no sign of showing up, ever, well nothing that could be found in a life partner, not the marital type atleast.

Rindou found her hesitance to be more of an issue than a good sign, he values the flame she started inside him, but he valued her far more, and she tops whatever could come in mind to him. And have been the supportive friend she needed for comfort.

He wanted her. Not just a want. He's not completed without her. She was the main priority.

Rindou cooperated with the idea of (name) never being with him, she seemsd to surrender for the Haru deal herself - tho it's not like she had a choice -, his soul never did.

It still gone to heaven and back feeling her presence. He was too weak and helpless and didn't even feel like doing anything about it.

Rindou stopped with the alert of getting too far from the tower, having the princess stopping at the same level with him silently but showingly questioning the decision of stopping.

"Well," the shaking of his voice have made him innerly curse himself, "I appreciate you inviting me for this walk, princess, but i have to be in the tower... i wish you a pleasant day."

-

The brothers were standing in the spacious balcony facing the far mountains, only gazed at by Rindou, having Ran's back and elbows facing it.

"Do you get me now, Rinny ? They just can't get the cake recipe right and it ruins my mood so i had to punch the- hey Rindou are you listening ?"

Rindou hadn't registered a single sound his brother was making.

He was complaining to the mountains with his eyes, he couldn't his weaknesses to slip into an unwanted ear, it was a language made for him and the mountains.

Rindou was getting hopeless, of himself, never of his princess. He was getting hopeless that he'll ever forget her when he had to.

Over the decade of pure admiration, and the one sided emotional rollercoaster, Rindou was on the state he willingly wanted to avoid thinking of accuring, where he couldn't keep up with the unspoken stress anymore, where he hated himself for falling in love.

And he felt like he was betraying his mom for blaming love for the humans' issues.

His mother never missed a day of telling him how love was beautiful, whereas human nature is ugly, and the ugliness of humans made love - that only treated the humankind with pleasure and a reason to keep going - the supposed culprit.

"Rindou...", the older man shook his closest family's shoulders lightly to grab his lost attention, "talk to me..."

It worked and snapped the younger royal out of his gloom, "sorry... you were saying?"

"That's not important right now, what is it with you?"

"It's nothing, Ran, im just tired of the meeting that's all"

"Rindou... im your brother, i know you better than anyone else and i know you are distressed of something bigger than a meeting", Ran now facing his brother's side, had a softer tone, one that reminds Rindou that this isn't just a pampered prince, but his brother that'll always have his back, and Rindou can't help the small lip twitch imitating a smile in his face.

"I was thinking of mom...", Rindou took a pause from the mountain converstation lowering his pupils to meet his feet, "i guess i missed her"

Ran let out a soft knowing chuckle and got back to his previous position, "you have always been like this little brother"

Rindou turned his attention to his brother from surprise, "like what?"

"Acting tough and big and that you got everything under control", a teasing grin found it's way to Ran's face, "when you're really just a whiny baby~"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME YOU ARSEHOLE", Rindou tried to punch his brother's arm but the older one ran away laughing playfully, and unknown to him he was smiling as well.

It was true, Rindou really needed to stop making everything his responsibility and start admiting he had a limit, and a side of him that needed to be spoilt and pampered, even if it hurted his pride to admit it.

And he wanted to surrender to that side just this once.

-

"Sorry to interrupt, Your royal highness", one of the maids entered the princess' chamber mid the gossip of her ladies-in-waiting were transferring to her - who is not participating - and curtsied , "his grace, duke Rindou of Roppongi, is outside the chamber, demanding to see you"

A short stretch of time passed before the ladies-in-waiting swap the orientation of their gossip to each other, very clearly agitated to interrogate themselves what would he possibly want to see her for at this hour, (name) wouldn't have known what to answer them herself.

"Tell him to wait for a moment and then he could come in", the maid courtsied one more time and then gone out.

"Would you like to change into a more represantable attire, my lady ?"

"My lady, should i get the blue gown ? It's the quickest to put on"

"Don't listen to them, my lady, i suggest the purple gown"

The ladies-in-waiting began debating what should she wear in the presence of - according to them - a male outsider.

"Thanks for the suggestion, ladies, but he's no stranger it'll be alright, you could take your leave now", she politely shrugged them off.

They gave each other a few glances then got up and curtsied, perfectly timed with Rindou's entrance, curtseying to him as well and quietly leaving, the guards securing the door from outside,

Leaving only (name) and Rindou.

The princess remained seated down and looking up to him with a polite smile, while he's motionless by the door, gentle eyes following hers, smile warming up the frost of October, and she could've sworn there was faint pink painted in his cheeks,

"Rin, what a surprise...", at the - now exactly - decade of your meeting, never had Rindou been to her chamber, in fact he's never been to any chamber, only to the meeting tower or walking down the general area, not to mention having a nobelman in a nobel lady's bed chamber is quite scandalous - not that either of them agree with the judgements that accure from it - and been avoided by almost everyone for the sake of their reputation, so er astonishment have been explanatory, "are there any special occasions for the visit ?"

"Oh nothing serious, princess, i apologize if i got you worried"

"Oh not at all... im just quite curious what the reason may be is all"

"Well...", averting her eyes and looking down for the first time since he came in. Notwithstanding his silky mauve hair was falling over the violet orbs on the stocks of tilting his head downward, the pink flush got apparent and clear. Rindou took an unhurried breath, composing his now tense form. His brother was right, he was just trying to act tough, but he's a coward innerly, making a fool of himself at the moment, but there is no turning back, "...my birthday is tomorrow... and i thought... if you'd like to come... ?"

Silence.

Protacted silence.

Rindou was panicking too much to even look at her expressions, it felt as if she stopped breathing, no sounds were coming from her direction in any way.

And he was about to apologize and leave but...

"I'd love to."

-

"How beautiful...", the carriage interior contained the bewildered princess, having never perceived a prepossessing sight as the one shifting by her in-motion window.

In a sort of a same condition as Rindou, she haven't stepped foot in his territory, she had no motive to. From the uncountable dry lands (name) has traveled through from the Tokyo empire, the Roppongi kingdom haven't made it to the list for two reason; first, the concernily occupied schedule assigned to her as a working royal barely got her a breathing space for visits to relatives or friends - since the kingdoms she have ever been to was for her deals, and Rindou was in charge of all matters surrounding his land to even give her a thing to do there - and her break was utilised for complete rest behind the walls of her castle.

Second, she didn't trust herself near Rindou.

Rindou was a riddle on her behalf, not him as a person, but the chemical reaction he causes.

Royal pedagogy was told to be stern, sombre, unsympathetic, rigorous, every common unrelentless term a rational living creature could think of. She went through it, she managed to accomplish the perfection of the princess definition. It took blood, sweat, and tears but it gave off, and she was prepared to survive the world.

Then Rindou happened, that not the top of the range tuition of composure and control prepared her enough for this man.

Ever since the night their fates collided, there was an implicit urge to deny the liking she has taken on the duke, it have been unreasonable at the time, but by age the motives of her denial grew larger; Her courtship to Sanzu - who was far from a romantic interest - have already been agreed upon by the higher ups.

Further than that, Rindou have already made a reputation for himself as the fierce duke who've made it crystal clear his land and occupation were his prime consideration, contrary of his brother and the masses of the nobelmen over the eras, the hypothesis of marriage and affairs was made known to be less of a concern for him.

All the doors were shut. She had your hands tied. There weren't any solutions left for her but to ignore the sellout of her chemical structure, but it was just... unachievable.

Every single time (name) thinks she surpassed her little crush, without a fail, Rindou's image shows up leaving her euphoric and lovestruck.

Only god knows how they survived meeting each other in person for so long.

That said, back to the current state, the carriage made its stop at the centre of the estate, where the castle is built, it doesn't equalize the size of her home but it sure is as beautiful as the land surrounding it.

(Name) was just as mesmerized with the haitanis' palace as she has been with their unfurled fields, too captivated with the allure of her field of vision, her lady-in-waiting - whose been assigned to travel alongside her - took over the errand of reviving her mindfulness by slightly shaking her - putting in mind (name)' social role -, which seemingly worked.

Now attentive, she finally sensed the rows of maids and guards by the gate still having their heads low - under the definition of respect -, the gate was allegedly open beforehand, expecting her arrival. Taking the first steps towards the entrance, she allowed the maid to escort her somewhere - she wasn't informed of yet - that locates in the back of the castle, where they're taking her.

The further they take her, the clearer it gets that she's being escorted to a garden. It was decorated and set ready for the rendezvous that she weren't all sure what's it about either.

The closer the view the clearer it gets to see the handsome dressed up duke, sitting in the chair ahead of the sizeable table that's stocked with a sweet course. His arms were crossed and his leg was restless, solicitude transparent on his attractive features, it lightened up - however - at the sight of the princess, and his little joyous smile unintentionally caused hers.

He, like an excited child got up from the chair quick, hitting his leg against the table in the process but he barely cared and came closer to her, excusing the maids and her lady-in-waiting out with a hand gesture not even staring at them once, his eyes couldn't leave hers and it'll be misleading to say he was solely participating at the current adoration match.

The rest of the women surrounding them understood almost immediately and took their leave along with the guards spread around the garden, and within mere minutes she was alone with Rindou, staring at each other chastly.

"Ahem please take a seat, princess", Rindou was the first to break the silence, extending a hand that she took gladly to escort and move the chair for her before moving to his seat across from her.

-

His usual stern yet playful demeanor was replaced - as she noticed - by this uncoordinated timidness completely out of character for a fierce leader like Rindou. Unknown to the princess before him, that this is Rindou finally coming out from the dark of his disguise by making less effort to hide his too obvious crush on her.

"You have no idea how delighted i am that you came", started the now blushing mess of a Duke. If she didn't have his handsome features printed in her memories, (name) would've mistaken this man for another.

This Rindou was less - if isn't at all - the supposedly gonna-be controlling terrible husband like the rest of them royals out there, and more of a softie who is keeping his eyes into one direction as long as she's in it.

"I'm delighted to be invited", she answered after observing the strange behavior coming from him. It wasn't exactly strange to be fair, but surprising, "um... do you perhaps have an issue that needed to be discussed"

"Not at all, princess, you could say i wanted to spend quality time with you, just the two of us", Rindou reached for the tea pot to pour you both some.

Oh.

That was... a shock.

Not what he said... exactly.

But the fact he said that.

Alright, who is this and where is Rindou ??

(Name) was speechless. "...umm... i see.", she went on to drink her tea to keep the silence appropriate. She looked up to Rin, in a position of a lover; he held the cup of tea in one hand, and the other supported his slightly leaning head as he stared at her.

His lavender orbs were contagious, they were lovestruck and had her lovestruck, it was a disease meant to infect only both of them. Dangerous thoughts got to her head...

'What if he likes me?'

In the procedures of brushing off her truth of loving Haitani, figuring the obvious was a lost choice as well.

Rindou isn't acting strange... maybe.

What happened is that she opened her eyes.

The silence lasted for a while, and it could be guessed how awkward its been.

"The weather is nice, would you like to have a walk ?", Rindou finally blurted out, as a solution for the awkwardness and she wouldn't miss out on that so she got up following him.

-

The walk couldn't make their silence less awkward, it couldn't stop the red from spreading all over their faces either. It felt as if they were moving in circles, which was a probability, but neither royal would notice, they were currently detached from their surroundings, all they hear are their doubts of the future.

Rindou for instance thought he had a plan - but it was a miscalculation, a rush of adrenaline if you must call it - up until the reality slapped him like no fool could ever muster up the courage to.

Too many thoughts crossed his mind at once, his brain was getting heavy with doubts.

'She doesn't like me'

'She's betrothed to someone else'

'She doesn't like me!!'

'Where is this going ?'

'What to do now ?'

'Mama get up!'

...

He stopped his tracks.

...

'Mama get up! Get up Mama i'm scared....'

'Rindou.'

'Why doesn't she answer me ??!!!'

'She is gone'

'No...... Mama is here I SAW HER!!!!!!'

'She is not coming back'

'WHAT DID YOU DO???!!!!'

'Enough'

'BRING ME BACK MAMA!!!!!'

'I said enough.'

'NO NO I WANT MAMA I WANT MAMA!!!!'

*Slap*

'Get over it......

......Rindou!'

".....Rindou?"

(Name) concerningly called for the crying man. 'Huh' thought Rindou. Oh. He's done it, what he ought to leave dead- had woke up... he allowed that little Rindou to rise from the dead for a delicate moment, just that moment. Afterall, that slap had killed the little boy in him, making him the ruthless man he is today, making the small child into his enemy, a frail weak crybaby... what he promised to never become again... Love was beautiful whereas the human nature is ugly, and the ugliness of humans made love the supposed culprit, just like his mother always told him, but just as he got in contact with little Rindou had he realised, he's been the living embodiment of that. He gave in to human nature, became as ugly as his father. He never forgave his father, neither for beating his mother to death, nor for turning him into - as Rindou calls it - a serious jester. The way he was acting was comedic, hilarious even, he knew what his reputation in the empire never mentioned, his truth, as a fearless coward, a brave quitter. Couldn't get any more ironic.

"Are you feeling alri-" "I love you."

"..."

Her heartbeats were racing, so was her blood, and so were her thoughts, she had frozen in shock trying to compose her ragged breathing, her mouth and eyes were wide open, her vision got blurry yet what's left of her consciousness could still dig his hopeful hooded eyes and, oh, have they always been so seductive ?

In the meantime, the man of the moment mistook the stillness for rejection and terror, a pout found the way to his thin lips, before they were pecked by his princess.

The Peck turned passionate kissing, a kiss of deprivation, of desperation, of a fantasy, a daydream always meant to be - as if it was a glimpse of the future - forever and ever, in love.

The kiss got heated red was his face, red were her swollen lips, red they saw. Their hands moved eagrly; through her clothed back, and his smoking hot visage.

They know what their fate is suggesting.

And Rindou voiced it, in his husky voice, "Join me in my bed...please..."

-

The maids lifted the cloth tightening up her body, leaving it to lose balance and slide off her skin, that flowy nightgown she was left with was no shield to the breeze running up her body.

He was staring at her by the doorframe and it felt too pleasurable to be a beginning that hasn't started yet, he was already satisfied in all senses by getting to be around her, however he wanted to keep going, to feel their virgin love unvail is what he was gonna keep going for, and that would get him witnessing heaven alive.

Just then, Rindou walked in looking less formal than what the princess has gotten used to but somehow never lost his allure, he was barely wrapped in the poet shirt he had on nor did the black loose pants make him look any less enticing.

He gave a look at the maids who understood almost immediately curtsying then leaving them alone for the privacy of the night, and once the door closed she was hit with the reality of the situation, she couldn't look anywhere but Rindou's shining violet eyes, his face was being pecked by the light of the moon that was left to observe their love and be the witness of their union.

Rindou made his way to where (name) was standing quietly, holding her breath, and her fingers close to each other, like a prayer; praying he'd devour her entirely.

His cold hand brushed all over her hot skin gently before lifting her head to meet him for another kiss, starting lovingly and leaving them wanting more, more, more...

The Duke lifted her bridal style, laying her on the bed and getting on top of her without enough force to strangle her but close enough for their needy liking.

Puppy kisses were thrown here and there, small giggles filling the space, but it wasn't quite... what they were here for.... so Rindou's left hand paved the way under her nightgown stopping down her lower thigh to stroke a bit before finally getting to her vagina. The princess let out a few breaths - she didn't know was holding - when he started teasing her entrance with his fingers, rubbing his thumb in circles while his index and middle finger slowly and steadily prepped her, more and more breathy sounds left her throat as he was full on thrusting both fingers in and out relentlessly.

Rindou was so turned on right now with, one, the sight of his lover, and two, the sight of his lover shifting and moaning while getting closer and closer to her first orgasm. He almost came just by his field of vision, but the night was still long.

The princess on the other hand could't think of her surroundings while getting close to the edge, (name) was told bedding as a married couple was only for the husband's pleasure, the nobleladies visiting her whole life spoke of only the worst stories of wedding nights that can be told. Never have breaking sexual propaganda felt so good, a man that's not her husband nor fiancé digging deep into her sweet spot reaching her orgasm before he could even think of his.

And just as she thought it was no longer possible, Rindou's fingers picked up pace practically splashing her juices on the velvet sheets she was gripping on fo dear life, seeing stars as her climax was approaching, when Rindou's hand got gooey and her brain got back in her head.

"That was... incredible", the princess told her duke panting.

Rindou kissed her cheek facing him and replied, "it's just the start, my lady", (name) was about to say something but he beat her to it going down between her legs, spreading them and kissing his way dangerously close to her vagina, "let me keep showing you the pleasure you deserve" Rindou gave her exposed clitoris an open mouthed kiss and her breath hitched again, her voice cracking the moment kisses turned into licks.

Even since the fated day where her courtship to Sanzu was announced, she received various advices concerning the wedding night on how to satisfy the Kantou prince, this - however - she was not prepared for. Keeping that in mind as Rindou was feasting on her honeypot like a starving man, having her moaning lustily as she came, toes curling and legs above his shoulders.

Looking down beyond her raised nightgown, was a lustful expression from the Roppongi kingdom duke, white was on his mouth, chin, and cheeks, licking his lips while maintaining eye contact, enough to get any woman on her knees. And oh... how handsome that man is... it's a scene like this, that automatically leave one wondering; how's a man like this not considred the charming one between the brothers ?

Society long forgotten, as he got up towring over her. Shibuya kingdom long forgotten, as he took his top off exposing his well built abs and muscular arms. Sanzu long forgotten, as he lowered down his pants, still keeping eye contact, never taking his eyes off her, consumming each reaction. And that damned lustful look on his face.

With pants gone, his penis was exposed; he was a terrifying 8 incher, rather girthy, red and hot, nowhere to hide he needed the princess. Now.

She gulped at the sight, and fear struck her, Moving backwards within the king sized bed.

"What's wrong, love?"

"No no... that's um... that's not-... that will hurt..."

Rindou moved closer to kiss her forehead lovingly, "i'll make sure it doesn't... i'll be with you through every minute"

She smiled at him and in a swift move, he got her back in a laying position, hands above her head intertwined - really, really tightly - with his own, legs hugging his waist ; it wasn't exactly a comfortable position but they were too lost in each other's eyes to give it much thought.

Rindou gave his dick a stroke before lining it up at her entrance, "one, two...", he pushed in, "...three."

Letting out a sigh at the smooth feeling inside her walls, Rin was quick to draw his attention back at his beloved, visibly uncomfortable at the foreign stretch. With his free hand, He kept playing with her hair soothingly, the other still supporting her own, as he gives her some time to adjust.

"Shhhh... shh... shh shh my darling sweetheart... you're doing it... you're doing great..."

"Mmmh-", she gave him a pleased hum and leaned into his free hand. Upon taking her signal, he locks lips with her and starts moving, slowly and steadily.

The princess yelped at the sensation, breaking the kiss, as Rindou let out a low, dark grunt pulling her back into the kiss that got filthy real quick.

They couldn't even keep track of the time, slow movements turned rough in and out thrusting, sounds of skin slapping echoing in the chamber, (name) wailed at the eager and hungry-like pace Rindou was going at. Both of their passion sounds were too loud to hear the bed creaking and the slamming of their hips, as not even the love bites could contain it.

"Fuuuuuck~", Rindou groaning in total ecstasy, still pounding into the fucked out princess like there's no tomorrow.

"Ah... A-Ah... Oh.... Hah... R-Rin... p-please...", (name) plead with a sweet weak cry, instead she received another kiss leaving her drool dripping.

"Hah.... ah... ahh.... I'm- i'm cumming...", Rindou hugged his princess tight as his eyes close shut and face heated up.

In one final thrust, they came at the same time, contently staying in the same position; cuddling and taking long, shaky breaths after the mind blowing sex.

-

Rindou picked up his bride-to-be to his private bath, washing her up himself as she let the warm water run down her body.

"You make me happy princess..."

His voice was music to her ears, reassuring her with the sweetest words.

"You're beautiful..."

"Rinny-"

"Yes, dear?"

They couldn't be together, her marriage to Sanzu is scheduled three days to come. It's too late now to save her true love story, isn't it ? She had already accepted it the day prior to Rindou's visit, she had already accepted her fate.... why did it have to get so beautiful at this timing ?

"I love you"

"I love you back, my love."

-

A/N : Let me know what you think <3 likes and reblogs are highly appreciated :)

@sagephilosophie

#Royal request #i write! #tokyo revengers #rindou haitani #ran haitani #rindou haitani x reader #rindou haitani x you #tokrev x reader #tokrev #tokrev x you #royalty au #rindou haitani smut #vee's

[wade-a-minute]

Deadpool's voice and its media portrayals

I read this post by @jhirowolf and @spider-mand, which inspired me to make my own post specifically about dp's voice - please read the og post first!

In the comics it's known that Deadpool has a unique voice - his speech boxes are yellow while everyone elses' are white. What makes it unique is its quality (it's described as rough, raspy and gravelly) but I also think that it's its cadence too (i'll get in to this below). Unfortunately, Ryan's voice in the movies doesn't really come close to this - for multiple reasons.

Ryan's voice physically is very smooth and also pretty high but I get the sense that as dp, he doesnt really do much for his voice, he is pretty much just himself and cracking jokes. As @jhirowolf pointed out, he kind of has this smooth, sarcastic tone. For me the vibe is that of a stereotypical side-character who mumbles sarcastic comments at whatever the other characters are doing. Ryan's voice is often mellow, calm and even

I dont have concrete examples right now, but in the comics SO many characters call Wade insane mere minutes upon meeting him, despite the fact that they dont know anything about him apart from the fact that he is a mercenary.

Why? Because of his voice!

Immediately upon hearing him talk they conclude he is unhinged and unstable and generally unwell. He's loud, aggressive, speaks a mile a minute and on top of that makes dark jokes serious situations that no one else laughs at. It freaks people out and rightfully so! Adding on to this, I think he varies his pitch and rhythm frequently, further making him appear unstable because his voice is never even or monotone for more than a few seconds. I'm basing this on the fact that his speech bubbles are so much bigger than everyone else's (he talks a lot) and also bc he varies his facial expressions and body language a lot when he speaks.

@jhirowolf mentions that Denis Leary was the inspiration for his voice, which i had no idea about but looking at this video, I think his cadence is perfect. You feel that unlimited energy, the loudness, the unpredictableness, his voice and the look behind his eyes make him seem manic and frantic - which it should! It puts people on edge around him, gives him his reputation of being unpredictable and also makes him regard him as insane. Wade doesnt give a shit about norms for socializing, how loud or crass he is - hes got shit to say and hes gonna say it, no matter how much it may annoy, offend or make others uncomfortable

i think the teaser trailer for the first movie could be Ryans best work when it comes to wades voice

Conversely, this video could be the worst:

Like this is purely Ryan, theres no deadpool here. its just his own shameless self-promo in a dp suit

Nolan's voice, on the other hand, isn't perfect either bc it kind of has the similar smooth quality as ryans, its not gravelly, raspy or anything. But his cadence is soo good! He's calm one minute but you never know when he's gonna snap and lose his shit, i love it

And yeah, Nolan's performance and the funny moments are the only good thing to come out of this game (well i guess another positive is that it made him more popular, it certainly was one of my first encounters which made me interested in him). The bad thing is the amount of damage it did to the complexity of dp's character - they stripped away his layers, the serious and tragic parts that make up who he is, instead of this they literally gave him 1 trait - insane. And that was it. I blame Way's 2008 run for this bc he essentially did the same thing - but the game turned it up to 11. Way at least included several serious and earnest moments where Wade was forced to be introspective and face his issues

in conclusion - so far our ears havent yet been blessed to hear wade's voice

#if anyone has any other video examples pls tell me #these were just off the top of my head #deadpool #wade wilson

[magicicephoenix]

i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW

#diction dump #joey drew #batim #HIS SPEECH AT TBE END OF BATDR MAKES ME JDLABRLELWL #SCREAMINF AT TVE SCREEN #JUST SHUT!! UPP!!! #okay i’m normal now. i hate him so much #he praises audrey about being his first creation of life when the ink demon is literally RIGHT THERE. #like. do you want to be good or not?? of course bendy kills you! you’re being an asshole! you suck!! #oh my godd i need to fling him around a room ragdoll style. crush him into smithereens. rrrgrghh #he comes across so disingenuous.. like. i don’t care if audrey’s your precious shining moonlight. she’s also The One Who Came Out Right. #meanwhile The One Who Came Out Wrong is SEETHING with hatred for you! do you not see the consequences of your words?! #“i know you’re in there” like the ink demon isn’t sentient?? like audrey’s just stuck someWHERE not with someONE? #and bendy’s so so angry. of course he is! his creator (well. a copy of him) is saying TO HIS FACE that he’s just a monster. a mistake. #that he’s NOTHING. and most infuriatingly that this stupid OTHER who had the privilege of coming out right is EVERYTHING! #why does she get that? why did she get so lucky? where was all this compassion when it was him? why did he never feel this love? #and so he lashes out. obviously. all he’s ever been is a monster because all he’s ever been TAUGHT is how to be a monster #and who taught him that? who forced him into that? that’s right. the biggest monster around. #so i’m sorry if i don’t find your little speech to be heartfelt joey. you’re a long way away from saying anything truly GOOD. #phew. okay. needed to get that off my chest.

[shadowedvales]

so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.

brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.

eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.

i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.

i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.

also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.

#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal. #THINKING THOUGHTS. i have had this concept in mind for a while but i THINK i’ve fleshed it out properly now. #will write this up properly one day (never). #although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon #he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge. #AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me. #saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family. #brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was #and there’s absolutely no sympathy there. #and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her #regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and #mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not. #and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives. #also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following #the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have #killed some innocent people. #just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna. #in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and #was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry. #BUT YES. #this be the new canon. <3 #idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.

[thegreatestheaver]

planning courses for the next semester is not for the weak

#WHY IS EVERY SINGLE CLASS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME. #WHY DO WE ALL START AT 9AM AND NOT GO PAST 11AM. PLEASE #please just strart at 1pmplease plase palseasee #i dont wanna take only 3 classes next semester but like erm. #mostly because im a little picky abt my professors. less so for electives but classes im worried about (SPEECH) #ive been pushing speech off for the longest time because i have crippling social anxiety 99% of the time. so i made sure i got a good prof #uhgghg #theres this one prof who does a lot of erm i think sociology classes yeah #she is so chill and nice and uses my prefurred name and pronouns (i really need to get my name chaged in the system uhghgh) but she did uh #the reverse grading and i hated it. everyone did. she was so nice and understanding.. #one time i went 2 talk to her about my missing work (chronic pain and fatigue had me bed bound for days on end) and she literally just said #erm u have an A so u dont have to do it. #>@>>@>/1/1/?!?!? #live saver. i had a breakdwon in her office i was literally sobbing telling her about my health issues. it was really hard because i never- #-really talk about it. i didnt realize how hard it would be when i finally did #anywasy what was i saying. yeah i love her so much but not her grading and teaching system. but idk maybe ill try it again she has a gender #-and sexuality class i kinda wanna take because im a professional faggot

[girlscience]

speaking of being slow. i wish i was a faster writer. i can write and i can write well, but it takes me significantly longer than nearly everyone i know. i just cannot get words out as easily as other people seem to and it is so frustrating all the time. i am working on editing my resume right now for applications. this is the third day i have worked on it. all i have needed to do this entire time is change the format to fit grad school rather than a job and add my recent work history. this isn't even two pages long. i have been working on it for 3 and 1/2 hours tonight and it's still not done. ITS NOT EVEN 500 WORDS APPARENTLY. i want to cry

#it doesn't help that the vast majority of my friends are writers or english or lit or poli sci majors #my sister did pr and communications #everyone was always writing papers and presentations and speeches #i VIVIDLY remember my last semester at college sitting down with my sister to do work #cause we were home from covid. and in the several hours we were sitting there she got a seven page paper done #and i didn't even finish one page #i just cannot write the way other people around me seem to be able to #i dont know why it is so much harder for me than other people #i always felt bad when i did group projects because i would be working as hard as i could... and i just wouldn't finish the same amount #as the other people because i just couldn't make the right words that fast #and i am already stressing about it for grad school because everyone talks about how grad school is so paper and presentation focused #people say its easier because you dont have to do worksheets or tests and instead you just have to write #(and im doing a thesis masters so i will have to WRITE) #but... the worksheets and problems and tests are what i am good at #that is what comes naturally to me. noticeably so. #but writing??? i am going to struggle #and i already know it. as always..... why am i doing this again? #why do i think i am going to be good enough for this?? hahaha #god i just need to get this resume done so i can start the painful process of writing my personal statement

[anothermouse]

I find it weird how ppl will say for reasons that systems are fake is that multiple alters talk similar or have similar interests. Have u ever met siblings. They talk similar and have similar interests because they've spent years together ya dork, as systems start to get along more they're gonna start sharing more interests and speech patterns just like you with people you spend a lot of time with lol. Also they all share a life, they have to be able to act like each other to get by and seem "normal."

#this isnt directed ive just noticed that me and willow steal each others interests a lot and its making me think abt all the ppl ive seen #using that reasoning in fake claiming. me and her dont really talk similar but i can imagine that happening with systems who #talk to each other or mask as each other more. #idk. its to our best interest to share skills and interests. if only one person likes/knows writing then we have a problem when we need to #write and they're not present. if only one person likes/knows guitar we're in big trouble in guitar class if they're not present. #and we NEED to get along to operate so its good for us to have things to bond over! we used to argue a lot and it was fucking annoying and #made life hard. i couldnt take care of the body and willow was depressed and it made the brain miserable and it sucked #so the more we can get along the better and i think having things in common is good for that! #like i said we dont really talk the same and for us that works just fine but for some systems that could create communication barriers. #idk. i just think ppl should think a little more about why alters might become similar over time. me and my cohost r literally like family #system #osdd #did #multiple #plural #edit: actually maybe i do pick up speech from her. she says 'my friend' a lot and sometimes im tempted to say it cus its nice #but i feel like it sounds weirder coming from me 😅 #OH AND LOVELY. she uses the word lovely so much ive just picked it up. its such a good adjective #idk why usually you expect the host to be the one whos language people copy but i feel like i pick up things from willow more than she does #from me.

[bahrmp3]

.

#personal #now that the new year's has passed I feel like I can talk about it I did not have a good time lmao it started fine I guess? I was going to #play music for the new year but then mum made a comment about me still on laptop so I shut it bc ok fine let's not #then it was down hill from there? like I ignored it and was like let's not make a thing out of it so we are saying what we liked this year #/ what we want to do and mum goes and for my son I want x y z and didn't mention me so joe asks her and for if she has anything to say for #me? any wishes? but she doesn't lmao later on she goes (if only you would say what you want we do not know anything about you) #she didn't even mean it she said just to hurt like I was taking a video of this and lit off frame my face is dropping #later on she goes (and you didn't even say what you wish for us either) as she leaves and later when I'm talking to my brother #and I protest this he goes (welp what can I even say? like I told you before are pretty selfish) and idk what to say I was surprised I #don't think I'm selfish tho? I legit was the one to cook for us and got cake? I try so much but keep being labeled selfish this is the #second time he tells me that in the last two weeks I think and both are unfounded ngl anyway all of this pales in the last thing #so we call dad to say happy new year! Well joe does and I mean ok I was still pretty upset about what happened an hour ago so ofc I wasn't #cheerful when calling dad lmao but like I was saying all the right things anyway? but Joe kept gesturing at me to smile its a phone call #and after the phone call he has like (why are you always so depressed? if I were you and I finally got a laptop I would be flying from joy #why are you always so down? why can't you just be happy?) and I honestly don't know what to say lmao ok so I wasn't flying from joy with #my laptop but idk how to say it here but then like what's worst? being hurt and not a person recognising that you are hurt? and in fact #asking you why aren't you smiling? or idk being too depressed for others?? what's funnier is mum later on was like (don't let anyone words #change you you shouldn't yield to others) in reference to Joe's speech but like hello mama?? not 2 hrs ago??? #anyway so I asked her if I shouldn't be listening to her words then? and she was saying yes with confidence like does she not #see either how she hurts me? how she keeps hurting me voer and over and over??? #God I should have made that pizza and truly be selfish maybe I wouldnt have been hurt like that #tbd

[mudstoneabyss]

I don't know a quicker and simpler way to describe Kevin's motivations than "the devil made me do it, but I also kinda wanted to"

#it feels cringe to always relate my thoughts on characters through song lyrics but sometimes I Don't Know How Else To #like what's also very Kevin is the part near the end of The Main Character thats: #a calm ''we all do what we need to to get through (its nothing new)'' followed by a more forceful #''BUT I AIN'T DONE A FUCKING THING TO YOU!'' #and that its meant to be like. a speech someone is giving. #also the ''I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy''. very Kevin #why figure out how to word good when person way better at words already did it good for me #joyousposting

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

Hello everyone! (notice board please read)

I’m a bit clueless about how to say this, but I suppose I’ve fallen out of the hetalia fandom for a good while now; this is mostly gen.shin’s fault but I also feel like I’ve become generally out of touch with the fandom characterizations of hetalia chars, and I’ve just generally lost interest in most of the characters (the ones I still like feel a lot more like ocs or characters that are v isolated from the canon). I’m also starting school again soon and am trying to focus a lot more on it for once :’)

I don’t intend to abandon this blog (although it’s been sitting with no activity for quite a while now), but I guess moving forward there’ll be very few reblogs of other hetalia content, and most of those will be friend stuff. However, I’m definitely still interested in writing for this fandom and I’ll still try to answer the asks in my inbox (however long that might take). I haven’t had the energy to write for a long time lol but I don’t want to abandon all the ideas I haven’t finished.

tl;dr hopefully a greater ratio of original posts (?) and writing, and less activity. (This blog might also become more of a personal blog instead; kinda tired of using 203984293 sideblogs for random shit lol).

Thanks for sticking around y’all <3

#ramblings #that was my formal speech my incoherent thoughts are next #ngl i think ive been isolated from the broader fandom from so long that I forgot hetalia was the source of the characters i like #so ive gradually become out of touch with it #not to mention that the only tag i still regularly check is yao's and. not going to lie the characterizations ive seen in there make me ques #question the fandom .. #so this is partly why i want to just write my own stuff and stop engaging with other peoples? i have a lot of writing prompt asks though and #i really want to publish those sometime. anyways i hope all the blogs i used to check up on very fondly are still doing well <3 #there was an analogy i saw a long time ago on scratch before i even joined any fandom that basically compared a site or a fandom to a train #every creator on there had a stop they'd get on and naturally people would also get off at different times #i got really upset about it at the time LMAOO. but looking back it was such a good metaphor #idk if this is my turn to get off the train (i probably already got off idk) but for those still on it ty for sticking around #oh to clarify this isnt a complete goodbye post i just have trouble setting the correct mood lol maybe i'll liveblog stuff i did like normal #personal blogs who knows #just less hetalia

[chiefguideandcentre]

The twilight movies aren’t even that bad, all the actors did a great job with their characters and their characters quirks, mannerisms etc. the actors were just stuck with Stephanie Meyers writing/dialogue which left much to be desired

#here I am defending twilight again for no reason #don’t unfollow me I’m sorry #it’s on tv that’s why I’m talking about it #I haven’t watched these movies in forever #but for real though like Bella is a socially awkward individual #Kristen Stewart did a good job with the awkward halting speech patterns etc #Robert Pattinson too did a great job being this dude pretending to be human #like they are supposed the be awkward and look uncomfortable trying to navigate around each other like that’s the whole point w/ these two #idk twilight absolutely has its flaws but it’s not as terrible as everyone likes to make it out to be #they did the best they could with what they had #Edward glitters like a disco ball #it’s the skin of a killer Bella-acting all tragic over it #hokie as hell absolutely hilarious I enjoy making fun of that #but that’s Stephanie’s fault not the movies or the actors #I think most just jumped on the hate twilight bandwagon bc they didn’t want to be left out #bc it was the quote unquote cool thing to do #anyways I need to stop talking about it #don’t hate me

[gwarden123]

Syril Karn really did listen to Maarva’s entire speech and still continued to be a fascist, didn’t he?

#andor #I don't think this is inconsistent with how beliefs actually work in real life #it's just movies tend to do this thing where the bad guys have this tiny glimmer of guilt when they hear a good guy's heartfelt speech #I know this is because writers need a certain degree of sympathy for a character to write them properly #but I love that the only 'bad guy' who is affected is the one who lived and worked next to everyone else and did technically know better #the Imperials just didn't care #they wouldn't have gotten to this point of occupying Ferrix if they did #so they are completely unswayed #even Syril who is more of a duped idiot following along with the way he was raised #because that's not how belief works #and how you are raised affects how you see the rest of the world #that's why Elon Musk can watch Parasite and not get that it's about him

[shadowedvales]

So… in the additional media of Stranger Things (specifically the comics I’m mentioning), it was initially Brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as Eleven was. It was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. And I just…. sure Henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but I think I am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

I genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and Brenner is far more intriguing than the show. Everything with 9/9.5, Ricky, and Francine. Eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. Those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. Eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. And they all had such a range of interesting powers. I firmly stand with the idea that Jane is the only one who can contact The Void.

Brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out Terry was pregnant. He discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. There would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. Because of this, I would not put it past a man like Brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” aka Eleven. Eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. Brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

Back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because Jane was 011. So there were at least ten kids before her. But I always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. That they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. With flying colours.

I just think the whole Rainbow Room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. Boring and predictable. I think at this point my portrayal of her time in Hawkins Lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. Where having the Rainbow Room, although Eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. Albeit extremely warped and toxic. Knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. Doesn’t sit well with me. I think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. Which is why Kali is also so important to her growth. I thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. Although Peter becoming Vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

Maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, Peter Ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. But before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. Peter is shot on the spot, and Eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. In this timeline, Henry would be Vecna, but Henry would not be Peter Ballad.

When Eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, Brenner had the eight children killed. Kali had already escaped. This was the main cause for Peter to gain Eleven’s trust and try to get her out. Because if Brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way Eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

When Eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with Peter. Brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a Peter, that she must have been dreaming. Eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given Peter told her of the day Terry broke in the lab, but Brenner is convincing enough to make Eleven believe it was all in her head. Say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

I still do wanna keep the Henry Creel canon, and keep him as 001. Brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. Brenner definitely wants to be able to control Henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. Killing him would be too big of a loss.

When Eleven is ten years old, Henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto Hawkins Lab. He almost kills Brenner by snapping his bones, but Eleven manages to stop him. Her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends Henry to the Upside Down. She does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. Brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat Henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. Eleven is rewarded for her efforts. Although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

Brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. Also loved the idea of Brenner sending her into The Void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

By the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the Upside Down is basically what we see in canon. Because she passed out the moment after she sent Henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. For two years she believed this, until making contact with the Demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

Due to her saving Brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. She happened to be there. Saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) Brenner constantly thanks her. But in a very condescending way. Tells her: “you saved me so I can continue saving you.” Aka, harness your abilities and see what else I can achieve from you. Despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. That she owes him something further.

I don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. Her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. Surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. Her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with Henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. It makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

It also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. They would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. As far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. Everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with Benny, I'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. Where she followed the boys home without thought.

Also it's important to note that after time, Jane does understand that Peter Ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from Terry) who wanted the best for her. When she remembers him, knows that Brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. He was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. This is another catalyst as to why after season two, Jane never refers to Brenner as papa. She does not give him that sort of credit.

#study. #although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon #he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge. #AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me. #saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family. #brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was #and there’s absolutely no sympathy there. #and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her #regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and #mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not. #and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives. #also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following #the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have #killed some innocent people. #just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna. #in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and #was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry. #BUT YES. #this be the new canon. <3 #idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.

[mntcoronet]

*pause moment* hey why the fuck did I just realise that during high school, I felt like a fair number of my peers (from outside my friends group) treated me somewhat more "softly" or like a child than they would've done with other people. and why was that

#maggles ramblings #like idk if they were actually doing that or if that's just what i Felt was happening #but. when they'd have to talk to me for things; like short 'do this in pairs' stuff; i def felt like they treated me differently #like I'd point out something in the thing we were looking at and they'd go 'oh wow good observation!!' as if we weren't the same age #maybe they just acted differently cos they didn't wanna be doing it. which like sure. but man u could at least try to discuss the topic #or did i seem like too much of a shy little creature that only just learned human speech that they forgot i was competent enough to get A's #but hhh man idk. i never know how people perceive me that's the real issue here #i can sorta make estimations based on how they talk to me; i can tell well enough if someone just doesn't wanna keep talking to me #but that doesn't mean i can figure out WHY. but i do know that sometimes it feels like.. they pick up on something about me #like i can roughly tell whether the person talking to me still considers me Just A Normal Guy or if they've realised like 'hey... #this person doesn't quite Get It with regards to social/conversation stuff'. bc of the way they talk. but i still never know why!! #like sure every time i go have conversations with new people i feel like I'm just pretending to be A Normal Person yknow #and when other people who seem very socially competent Keep talking to me i just think oh wow you haven't figured it out yet that's wild #figured what out? idk that I'm just pretending i guess. about what? uh good question just pretending in general #pretending like i know what to say; that it feels completely Natural to talk like that; like I'm not mentally rating each of my actions #but then sometimes there's people i just feel like i don't have to do that around nearly as much. i swear i gravitate towards those ppl #but yeah it's just. it def feels like they know I'm Not Getting something when i talk to a lot of people. like they Know i missed a memo #and i don't even know what the memo is about; or whether I've gotten any of the previous memos or just absorbed the knowledge #by observing things. ya #ok im done with that train of thought i need to go and work on that au i accidentally stayed up till 2am last night thinking of ideas for

[cinnabeat]

i am perpetually haunted by my brother very briefly commenting that he thinks id really like that law guy from one piece and then never elaborating again like PERPETUALLY HAUNTED abt it bc i see that man on my dash every fucking day and im reminded that my brother is probably right and i hate it immensely

#ive said this so many times #im sorry #but it really does haunt me #less bc my brother is right and more bc i want to know how he came to that conclusion #what abt me says id like that character #why did he say that #he no longer remembers #it fucking haunts me #it haunts me bc im regularly reminded #but you know what else haunts me? #that sub i had in eighth grade history who told me i had an accent (??) and it sounded brazilian (??????????) #was not aware i had an accent #my speech patterns and potential accent also haunts me regularly and full disclosure i blame the sub #she started that and ever since then ive had people comment on it #my friend told me my spanish sounded like cursive. she did not know what that meant but everyone agreed and so did my brother #i always thought my spanish sounded staccato-y but sure it sounds like cursive #i talked to someone in spanish and they clocked me like *squinting* where are you from and going ah of course when i tell them my parents ar #are from chile. theyre like you sound it :) like hello. no one ever tells me that. my parents make fun like you sound mexican :) which is ho #horrifying im sorry and my relatives make fun bc my spanish apprently isnt that good when THEYRE the ones who speak like thre english words #this became abt accents sorry but it truly haunts me. after the sub thing i turned to my friend like do i have an accent???? and she was lik #like im not sure?? like thank you so hepful that also haunts me #anyways. if someone comments on my speech patterns or a possible accent it gives me an identity crisis and then i remember it forever #i will never ever forget spanish for spanish speakers 1-2 in middle school and getting made fun of bc i didnt know what a chancla was. i was #i was feeing ashamed for not being a true mexican when im not in fact mexican. like hello. AND THEN. people get upset when IM the one upset #bc someone makes a chile/chili joke like fuck OFF its really not rhat funny bitch #will also never forget the cultural fair in middle school and one class had chile as a booth and they lovingly decorated it with chilean fla #flags with an obnoxiously large flaming pepper in the middle and spicy made feom mexico candy to sell #like sure whatever fine like that makes ANY sense fuck you #ANYWAYS. #michi tag