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#it’s so horrible i am a bad person but it works
mediumgayitalian · 1 day
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I'm curious as to your thoughts on how Nico and Will manage chores?? you've mentioned that you hc Will as OCD, but I'm interested in how you think that would combine with the different aspects of adhd. plus, I can't imagine Nico had much experience with chores having been rly young in Italy, plus living at the lotus casino, plus being on the run for so long
YES okay so i answered a similar ask here but i'm going to reiterate it and also explain a little bit of my ocd headcanon.
when they move in together, how do you think they will split the chores?
they do not.
they are in an interesting situation: nico has never had to do chores in his life. as a kid, he was the son of Literal Hades and an aristocrat, he for sure had people doing that shit for him. in the lotus, they presumably had room service. he may have had to do a few chores at the military school, but a) they weren't there for long and b) as an older sister with a younger brother, bianca was doing that shit for him. she ordered him to make his bed, he did a horrible job, she huffed and did it herself because it's more of a pain in the ass to make your brother do it again than it is to do it yourself. bianca i get you. after that he was homeless, so there was obviously no cleaning there, and then he lived in his father's palace. he has never so much as done a load of laundry except maybe hastily with a public washroom sink and a bar of soap. he barely knows what a mop is.
will, on the other hand, has been in charge of both a cabin and a literal infirmary since he was 13 years old. on top of that, if i am not mistaken (i'm so sorry i still havent read toa and tsats im getting there i swear), he grew up on a farm. his ass knows how chores work, in fact i would bet money that he gets a little obsessive when it comes to cleaning. he is acutely aware of how many germs are on every single surface ever. he cleans and he does it a lot.
this could go really badly, because habit would indicate that will would be doing all of the housework and nico none, which is Bad For Relationships.
however:
nico really likes will.
will is a massive hypocrite who overworks himself. he also is a bit of a control freak.
nico is also very, very observant.
i think, in the beginning of their friendship, even, nico noticed that will, like bianca, would let the onus of cleaning and tidying fall to him because 'no one else does it right', and also, maybe, it's just easier not to fight people about it. i think this would bother him. i think he would, in his inability to, like, be normal, impulsively challenge will to a cleaning contest.
and. like. will is a competitive person, okay. maybe not about things he knows he can't win, but when he knows he's good at something? he is not letting that shit slide. look at how fast he was to dunk on octavian, how prickly he got when nico doubted his ability to outrun the romans. if nico, who will knows damn well has done like four chores in his life, tries to challenge will, mr. antiseptic is my closest friend solace, to a cleaning contest?
he is going to sweep the floor with him.
pun absolutely intended.
from there things kind of spiral. at first it's a dorky ass learning curve, because nico loses every cleaning competition so so badly and quit fucking laughing, solace, you dickead, the windows are not that streaked and also watch me spray you in the goddamn eyes, huh, how do you like that and it's just kind of...fun. for the first time in a long time cleaning up doesn't make will quietly bitter.
plus, as an added bonus, nico helping will clean up makes it less invisible when he does it. now people are starting to notice that, no, the infirmary does not magically clean and organise itself, someone does that. and maybe a few more people pitch in to help. and maybe will realises, and maybe he smiles gratefully at nico when, for the first time in years, he has two entire days off, back to back, in the summer, for the first time in years. and maybe nico thinks he is going to collapse into dust because gods will has a nice smile. not that he cares or notices or anything.
do they need to keep having competitive chores forever?
no.
but does it make both of them kind of shyly pleased and happy to remember how they started? to remember how much their friendship means to them, first and foremost, and not just their relationship?
yes.
(also, by the gods, nico is going to beat will at laundry one day. he is. as soon as he learns to fold without creasing the whole stupid shirt it's over.)
on ocd:
so i've technically been diagnosed with ocd. i'm not sure how much i believe it, because i have severe anxiety and in 2020 when i was 17 i had anxiety about being ocd so i called my psychiatrist and went 'hey i think i have ocd' and she said 'yah you do', which, well. i've read some testimony and biography of people with ocd and there's a lot of stuff i don't relate to. so i'm not rly comfortable calling myself ocd, but i do have a lot of obsessive behaviours that i am aware extend past generalised anxiety disorder.
but on the stuff i do relate to:
mostly i am Fine. but i am also Aware of the Germs Around Us. at all times. taking a safe food handling course was a Mistake.
however i am also aware that these germs are Unavoidable. and i work with children. i get covered in fluids a Lot. (have you ever held a tissue to a young child's nose and told them to blow, feeling the hot gush of mucus, because they are too young to blow their noses themself? i have. it is revolting. more revolting than being thrown up or shit on, frankly, although those are also Not Great.)
for the most point i employ the Very Clever strategy called: Just Don't Think About It.
i don't think about it.
don't think about the germs on your laptop. don't think about the germs on the seat you're sitting on. don't think about how many germs are built up on your hands and transferring onto your laptop from all the dirty doorhandles you touched to get into the building. don't think about all the airborne germs that you are breathing right now. don't think of how easily staph virus travels. don't think about the germs built up on your phone, dear god. don't think about the germs on your bracelets.
Germs Die. Hands Wash. Germs Die. Hands Wash. Germs Die. Hands Wash.
this is a regular thing i chant to myself.
i have to.
so i don't go Insane.
there are some things i won't do, though, regardless of whether or not germs die and hands wash. i won't wear outside clothes to bed or let them touch my bed. i won't touch door handles with my bare hands if i can avoid it. i won't fill up the gas in my car if i don't have hand sanitizer or lysol wipes handy (gas pumps are DISGUSTING). i won't eat without washing my hands before and after. won't use the bathroom without washing my hands before (we should all do that?? frankly?? why do we allow germs near a place that gets infected real fuckin easy??????). i won't put my toothbrush on the side of the sink (INSIDE A DRAWER WHERE IT'S SEALED OFF). i won't flush the toilet with the lid up (DO YOU WANT THOSE PARTICLES IN THE AIR MORE THAN THEY ARE). i won't use hand dryers in public bathrooms.
lots of stuff i will do too. i will turn the water off and SCRUB my hands for thirty seconds (MISSISSIPPI) before rinsing the soap off. i will wash my hands every couple hours at least but regularly if they feel dirty. i keep a mental note of what is Contaminated and what i have to wash after i touch. i keep a mental record of what i'm touching. i look into ways bacteria and germs spread so i can learn how to keep myself protected. i keep hand sanitizer on my at all times, as well as extra in my car.
etc etc.
i don't always have all this in the forefront of my mind at all times. in fact most of this is habit.
i do spiral though.
sometimes i become Hyperaware of what i'm touching and i feel rly rly unclean. the germs and grime build and build and i get nauseous. usually, this only happens when i think 'i need to wash my hands' and i Cant. i can handle it because i have been handling it my whole life but it makes me really irritable really quickly, and then panicky if it goes on too long.
other times i get really obsessed with preparation. i'll try really hard to Avoid germs, which is impossible, and when i can't i get panicky too.
it is also Really Embarrassing. i get screechy when i'm not expecting to be germy (like at work i'm fine, i know i'm gonna get gross at work, so it's Fine to get gross at work; but if my sister wipes something gross on my shirt to get a reaction out of me she is Going To Get A Reaction Out Of Me, and it is going to be me shrieking at the top of my lungs). so that's fun.
on will:
i do think will would be kinda similar to my experience?? so ocd-adjacent.
he is Hyper aware of germs for one. i imagine he struggles to turn it off. he knows how disgusting something is at any given time because it is really important for him to know if something is sterile.
as he gets older and is abilities get more defined, i think he has a period where he spirals a Lot.
in the infirmary, he knows where the germs are. they are his job to treat or add as necessary. it's no big deal if he has to deal with catheters or sweat or vomit or snot or whatever. that's part of the job.
but Outside of the infirmary???
what really peaked my interest was, amusingly, the shaking hands line: that whole birth thing Bothered him. it was outside the norm, outside of something he could prepare for, and sure, it's just regular horrifying but i feel like it might be Germ horrifying as well.
does he panic about accidentally infecting people?? i think that might make him spiral. he has to do surgery and shit -- if he's hyperaware of what is and isn't sterile, i imagine the situations under which he has to apply medical care would send him spiraling after they're over.
i think he has a lot of anxiety Build Up. i think he shoves it back to Do His Job and then he's supposed to have free time, supposed to chill, and he's rushing away every forty minutes to scrub his hands.
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cranberrv · 2 days
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obsessed
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ in which sodapop is in love with dally’s ex
( a/n : this is SO mid & a bit out of character but i hope you enjoy nonetheless! kind of inspired by olivia rodrigo’s song “obsessed” but i took some creative liberty and switched the plot a bit )
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3 weeks after his breakup with sandy. it only took 3 weeks to find someone else to obsess over — and it was you, dallas winston’s ex.
if dallas knew how much sodapop looked at your picture, he would be dead in a ditch. but he couldn’t help it! you were perfect, you were kind, you had those lips that just hypnotized anyone who glanced at them, you were well-read, and you were made for him.
it was mid-summer when he saw you again. the last time he saw you was when you were at the drive-in with your former lovers, dallas and sandy. but this time was obviously different. you walked into the DX while he was working. instantly captivated, he watched as you smiled amd waved to him, before grabbing a diet coke and going over to him to pay.
“hi, soda,” you smile. “long time no see, huh?”
“yeah, guess so,” he nods and scans your drink. “diet coke, huh? that’s my favourite.” it’s a desperate attempt to bond with you.
“really? that’s cool. i don’t know a lot of people who like the diet version, lots of people think it tastes like water but they just don’t get it like us.”
‘like us.’ holy fuck. he is down bad. “you’re not lying,” he laughs. “so, um, what have you been up to since you and dal broke up?”
you shrug. “hm, not much. it’s been boring, honestly. i miss hanging out with the gang.”
“we miss you.” he agrees. “it was fun having you around.”
“thank you,” you say. “how’ve things been going since sandy… you know, left.” you assumed it was a sensitive subject, but was soon proved wrong.
“i thought i’d be worse than i am. i’ve been too busy with other stuff on my mind to even care, i guess.”
“yeah? watcha been thinking about, then?” you ask, tilting your head.
he knew it was wrong. he knew that dallas would be livid, he knew that every girl who liked him would turn against you, but he’s beyond it. he’s got issues, he can’t help it.
“you.”
“..what do you mean?”
“you’re all that’s on my mind, y/n.” he can finally form a complete sentence. “and it’s fuckin’ killing me.”
“soda..” you sigh. “dallas would be—“
“who cares what dal would say? he’s your ex, he doesn’t even care about you anymore. and darrel doesn’t like him anyway, he wouldn’t be a loss.”
“he’s gonna beat your face in.”
“it’s worth it.” he insists.
“you’re crazy, you know that?”
he laughs. he knows he is, after this. no sane person would go after his buddies ex. you would have to be a monster. but he is a greaser. “come to the drive-in next friday, i’m going with a bunch of my friends.”
you hesitate. “..fine, i’ll come.” you do a horrible job at hiding the smile on your face.
he smiles. “see you there, y/n”
you nod, and take your diet coke and walk away. he didn’t even make you pay. he can’t wait for friday night. those dreadful 3 weeks seemed like nothing now that he had you.
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blueskittlesart · 7 months
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also to everyone contacting me about the tiktok--I have seen it, the reposter did not contact me before posting on tiktok but has since contacted me on instagram and they obeyed my repost credit policy so i'm tentatively ok with it!
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goldenstarprincesses · 2 months
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A. Kirkland- Pitbrow Woman, '81
In the last month or so, my interest in nyo!England has blossomed. Yet, I have long disliked the canon stylization of the character.
Ms. Alice Kirkland has never been one to shy away from physical labor or the harsh realties of her own people. Even at the height of her international power, it was rare that- unless directly requested by the monarch or prime minster- that she lived among the aristocrats for long periods of time. A stark difference between her and her French counterpart. While her rebellious days as a sailor were behind her, throughout the 1800s it was not uncommon to find her either in the mines, in a factory, or tending to her own country estate farm.
References and Inspirations bellow cut, Programs used: MS Paint and Krita
I could not have done any of this without these references.
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pansyfemme · 1 month
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i think this time of year is cursed
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running-in-the-dark · 1 month
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well. apparently I did something bad yesterday because I woke up with very very very bad pain in my shoulder/arm/upper back. I guess it's sore muscles but I don't know from what. 🙃
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mdemn · 1 month
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sometimes i forget that i have an autoimmune disorder until i work two full time jobs in the peak of allergy season and then i wake up one morning and cant physically move my body without nearly crying 👍🏽
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soldier-poet-king · 7 months
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Red wine is so good like. What did we do to deserve her. What would I do without her. Truly I'm...
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sidereon-spaceace · 5 months
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very annoying to find that something I thought I handled well just hadnt fully processed yet
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officialmisha · 7 months
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(rant in the tags, might be triggering or something)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months
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...
#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing#ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like#visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do#so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible#mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done#but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing#how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate#and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem#it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research#assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head#and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck#it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads#to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed#bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me#so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a#slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would#b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated
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monokumis · 1 year
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Communication is so important in relationships. I know I’ve struggled with it before in the past because I was made to feel like I was making things up or getting ignored. But if you tell me you value communication, I expect you to actually listen to me when I communicate with you. Do not play the victim, do not say I am unfairly judging you, if there is an issue I will come to you and say it. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think you could improve and become a better person. I poured my all into you and loved you so much, what a shame that you never cared half as much as I did and hated me for even trying. I’m doing the responsible thing of realizing enough is enough and that I need to let you go, even if it hurts. I refuse to stay in an abusive relationship with someone who can’t communicate why they hate me. As much as I hate what you did to me, I also realized my own self worth. I shouldn’t let others walk all over me just so they won’t leave, so they’ll like me. My life has so much more value than that. I went into this relationship hating myself, but I’m leaving it now full of love for both myself and the people in my life who want and appreciate my love. I’m so grateful to them, and I’m grateful to you for showing me how much other people love me. I’d wish you the best in life, but you already had it.
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stillfruit · 5 days
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the most difficult part about group projects is not doing everything yourself
#to be serious i obviously want to respect everyone's time and efforts but sometimes it's genuinely very difficult to find a balance between#evreyone contributing in ways they would prefer and the output being good. what do you do when someone is bad at something yet enthusiastic#if this was baking a cake or something else i wouldn't give a shit but this is university and we have constructed but objective guidelines#clearly this is only a problem if you're a bad person like me who prioritizes results over how people feel in situations where we're graded#i am as polite as possible but how do i gently say let me do everything over for you#what makes this even more difficult is my own inability to start things early so this problem is double my fault - at the point#where i would have my thing done others have completed their work already before so i'm always overstepping#even if i'm ready before the deadline as well. the others are just faster overall#i'm fully aware how arrogant and insufferable i am and this is btw i know the people working with me are extremely talented in their ways#and carry skills i don't have etc etc but fuck some of the things i have to redo are sooooo simple and this way of working#is extremely inefficient because on top of doing my own work i have to look over the work of others and i know that's because i want#to do so and it's not their fault but at the same time they all did say they're aiming for the highest grade so what gives#i'm actually the worst person to have as a group work member </3 genuinely horrible. i've decided for now just let what is there slide and#emphasize giving credit about all the work the people have done rightly to them and then just quietly fix it later for the final submission#shit talking
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neinnerr · 1 month
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tfw your sister tells you she bought something from the boycott list and you tell her, "hey, those dudes are supporting israel" and it escalates to the point where they tell you they don't like parts of your personality that you thought was fine to show to them because they're the closest person to you in your life and now i don't know how i should interact with her at all
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hadoriel · 1 year
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Love suddenly bursting into tears because I want my life to mean something but life is inherently meaningless
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pessimisticprincess · 11 months
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its honestly so pathetic how hard i struggle to keep up with everything down to the most basic things and i just wonder when or how that gets better
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