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#it’s not but most people use that assumption
raayllum · 2 days
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Key to His Heart Theory: Shot Through the Heart, and You're (S5) to Blame
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Intro
So a little over a year ago (since usually I think about things meta wise for at least a good month before writing them down), I wrote a meta about why I thought the Key of Aaravos might hold a quasar diamond, specifically Aaravos' missing chest piece. His heart, if you will.
At the time, I thought it was a very strong contender for what the cube might be, even if it didn't necessarily give us a clear depiction on what it might be used for, and was again operating under the assumption the cube itself is something Aaravos even wants back or needs (which is assumption still, at this point).
It made sense loosely with some of the new information we'd gleaned about the cube from S4 (mostly the Callum pawn intro with its bright flashing light, the emphasis on hearts in the narrative with Ezran's speech, the 4x04 flashbacks) and was likewise built upon a previous meta regarding the series' use of Egyptian mythology (Thoth and Ibis being present somewhat in Callum's arc, the main trio's parallels to another Egyptian myth trio, Aaravos' mirror and mirrors as objects of divination, and potential matching symbolism with the ankh).
The Key to His Heart theory was also built on previous seasons — largely the Magma Titan plot line, and Avizandum being stabbed in the heart — in addition to Aaravos' chest piece, seemingly, being notably absent, which seemed indicative of certain lines from the short stories, particularly Rayla (S4's Dear Callum), but we'll talk more about these later:
Please don’t let this hurt too much. But, if it does—if you feel that soft aching—know that that piece of your heart isn’t missing. It’s not missing at all, Callum: I’m carrying it with me! Always.
If you're interested in this theory and want to know about it, I recommend reading the two metas I've linked above, as the rest of this won't really be delving too much into what I've already written about, and talking about how season five has given more potential evidence.
With that out of the way, let's get into it in rough order of "most to least" likely:
Season Five
TDP Reflections
Whereas hearts weren't mentioned too much in the short stories leading up to S4, they became a reoccurring motif every TDP reflection story going into S5.
Fools. They might as well have held their own hearts, beating and bloody, in the palms of their hands. Kim’dael knew that if she showed them her heart—or something convincingly like it—the Sunfire elves would do exactly what she wanted them to do.
“Rayla,” she said, meeting Redfeather’s gaze. “My name is Rayla. And I’m going home.” Redfeather sighed. “Oh, you bleeding heart.”
“They balk at shadows, then.” Aditi pulled a slip of white-hot metal from the forge and turned to place it upon a gilded anvil. “I see your heart—and I am not afraid.”
It stared up at him. Ezran felt a coldness twist its way around his heart. It took his lungs, too, and for a long moment he could not breathe, could not feel anything but an unfamiliar anger so potent it seized the whole of him, inside and out.
Viren staggers backwards, his last breath shuddering through the blade. His white robes turn red at his heart. Something in Soren’s own chest shatters along old cracks, but he cannot look away. 
“You are stronger than this. All storms end!” Rex rumbled a snort through flared nostrils. “What lies at its heart?” 
 He wept for his city, his people, and the darkness struck deep into their hearts.
While one may say it ends with a sunrise, another will insist it ends at nightfall. Yet at the heart of the story is a single, simple truth…A star fell from the sky.
From where Kim’dael stood, she could only see the brilliant aura of its magic. For a moment, it was as though the queen’s heart overflowed with light.
Now, some of this is undeniably because a heart is a short hand for emotion and one of our most useful metaphors for communicating a variety of emotion. However, I did think it was particularly interesting / eye catching that these lines tended to overlap with the series' growing light and darkness motif and emphasis on wounds/scars (to the point we have a 5x02 episode titled "Old Wounds" that refers to both Viren's past and Callum and Rayla's healing relationship).
But by far the one that struck me the most, and seemed the most reminiscent of how Aaravos's (literal?) wound manifests is this paragraph from Claudia's short story:
Lissa had left her years ago, but the space she had owned in Claudia’s heart remained. It was a dark place now, hard and hateful, its edges raw as a wound that had forgotten to heal.
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Mountains had crumbled and left in their wake a vast new sea. It was as though the land had been dealt a great wound and bled a hundred years. Terror washed across the remnants of humanity like a wave: What power could fell mountains? Turn all the world dark, and bleed a sea from stones?
—Ripples (pre-S5)
As well as Aaravos' clear desire to have revenge over the Startouch elves for something that seems to go beyond the resentment over just being banished:
I have not seen the stars in centuries. But when I see them again—when the stars are forced to look upon me, their dark brother—they will know how I have waited. And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky. For I have been patient.
—Patience (pre-S4)
We don't know yet if we are going to get more TDP reflections going into S6 or S7, but given the way the previous stories emphasize the heart as both a symbolic idea (a darkened, hollowed out heart) and a literal entity you can hold in your hands... It's clear there's something going on symbolism else, otherwise why be so consistent? But enough of the reflections, for now.
Time to talk about S5 itself.
Laurelion
Previously, I thought the cube in the intro (a literal glow toy, as Rayla identified back in 1x05) already had similar properties to the star-glow effect in the title intro back at S4.
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At the time, this was more of a guess. Most of the Star magic we'd seen at that point we weren't able to fully identify as such, it seemed a bit more magenta in colour, and while there was a parallel in the bright flash of light upon releasing Sir Sparklepuff, there's also a bright flash when the prison is actually made. It's just a good short hand for a crescendo of magical power, you know? We didn't know if quasar diamonds were even going to be white, besides the one presumably in Aaravos' chest concept art wise.
And yet — it still felt like something to me. Then S5 with Laurelion came along.
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The Death of the Immortal
K: "And though undying, took last breath, immortal Laurelion was no more." C: That's good, right? I mean when someone "was no more," that's — that's dead, yeah? K: It's a bit confusing, but that is the clearest implication. Though it is somewhat odd they call them undying and immortal. C: Well, that doesn't sound so immortal? Laurelion "was no more". K: Right. C: But how? How did they...? K: Right here. "White as the star's heart it pierced, ivory draconic brought death's bite known ever forth as Novablade." C: It's a sword.
There's a few noteworthy things about this whole exchange:
The poem has to be relevant eventually, otherwise why include it at all when you easily could've just had Kazi and Callum stumble across the sword period?
It confirms that the heart of a star is something that can be pierced, presumably removed, and white, which I think is the biggest "hell yeah" to the 4x04 intro
There is no reason to point out the contradictions in the poem itself unless A) the sword doesn't work the way we think it does and/or B) we are going to find out why the "undying and immortal" thing matters — and they make sure to emphasize the contradictions quite a bit as well, so they definitely want us to notice
If Laurelion died, and Aaravos took his place, that would explain how Laurelion — identity wise — could die while the same person under a new name could also remain alive / immortal
We learn in Rayla's pre-S5 short story that Ghosts don't often keep their real names, and take a new one as the final severance of their bond with their old community. For all extents and purposes, Aaravos was Ghosted (banished) from his community as well. Taking a new name would make sense
"That must've been when [Harrow] fell." "Fell? Fell! He didn't fall, Rayla, he didn't trip and fall on the ground — he got killed!" (2x08)
There's more speculation here regarding the actual sword and draconic ivory, but that is another post for another day that other smart people have made if you are interested. For now let's just focus on the heart.
We know Laurelion had a heart; we know it got stabbed with the Novablade, leaving Laurelion both no more (i.e. dead) and yet immortal / undying. We know that Arc 2 in particular has had an emphasis on losing your sense of self and identity ("I was his puppet" / "We can't save everyone, Soren" / "But I'm not evil. It's me" / all of Viren's dream visions). We know that a Star's heart is white. We know that Aaravos seemingly used to have one, and now it's either missing or impermanent, only visible sometimes.
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(Putting a pin in the second image cause we'll roll back around to it in the counter evidence section.)
We know his chest centrepiece glowed when he was imprisoned, and we know it was seemingly gone when he got banished. We know something about the Key of Aaravos was able to reveal his treachery.
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I'm not saying any of this is for sure connected, but it does make you think, at least a little?
That, and it'd play into another bit of potential interesting foreshadowing / symbolism we got in s5 with
Viren Heart Theory
This is another theory I've discussed in more detail elsewhere, so I'm going to link to it here, but it wouldn't feel right to not talk about it at least a little here. Basically the theory is that Viren used his own blood / a piece of his heart, or possibly the whole thing, and the relic staff in order to save Soren when he was a young child.
This is largely due to Viren's spotlight turning red after he begs to be able to save Soren, and cinched by Kpp'Ar pointing specifically at Viren's heart only for Viren to deflect and start talking about Soren's case specifically. Whatever he did seemed to make him more 'powerful,' but at a great personal cost ("In the name of love you may perform acts that are so unforgivable, you will never forgive yourself") and something he finds the need to justify ("I had to do something! I had to save him! I had no choice!").
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If Viren did this, it also adds another layer to Viren's sentiment of "Harrow's death breaks my heart" being well, half-hearted, in addition to Soren literally stabbing illusion Viren in the heart in 3x09. Viren mutilated his heart for his son's life, stopped being able to properly express love to said son, and then Soren stabbed his father right in the place that presumably saved him as a child. Ouch.
It seems likely that one of the reasons Aaravos was able to prey so aptly on Viren's desire for importance and attention — to Matter — was because Aaravos might've tried and failed earlier on to get the Startouch elves to listen to him pre-banishment. Being ignored, exiled, and disempowered is something he can relate to, and something he doesn't mind taking advantage of when it suits him.
However, if this combination could save someone Viren loved, it makes me wonder if Aaravos did something similar to likewise try (and fail?) to save someone he loved, too. It's either that or the Startouch elves just completely ripped it out, so... I guess we'll have to see?
But yeah — if Viren did it, then I'm expecting it's more likely that Aaravos did it, too. That is all.
The Pawn Intros
But Dragons, you say, didn't we already talk about the Callum pawn intro?
And to that I say yes, but — thanks to a promo S6 picture of Aaravos crying, we know something else very important about said intros that we didn't know before: they take place at the Sea of the Cast Out.
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The sky, the mountains... the fact we know, thanks to the statues in 5x09, that this is likely where Aaravos' grief — his wound, if you will — began to bleed and take root, leading to his thousands of years of seeking vengeance and using just about anything or anyone he could. This is, presumably, where his chess game started... and where it is, symbolically at least, going to end.
Okay, so it's the Sea of the Cast Out — why does that matter?
Well, we know the Sea of the Cast Out is a site of literal trauma for Aaravos. We know, thanks to the statues of Aaravos and the Merciful One, that it plays into the same reaching motif we see Viren participate in quite a few times, both in his intro and in other places/relationships (most notably Sarai, Harrow, and Terry).
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The Sea of the Cast Out is also, perhaps more importantly for this theory's purposes, near Elarion. What little we do know about the city beyond it being an important place for humans and dark magic ties it repeatedly to nature through The Midnight Star poem:
Elarion, trembling seed, lay down to earth in icy night, and in the cold her roots took hold defying winter’s deathly bite. Elarion, fading bloom, afraid to wilt and dim and die, [...] Elarion, dying husk, did wilt and whimper in the dark [...] Elarion, black-eyed child, her twisted roots spread deep and far,
as well as a tale about the Flowers of Elarion, precious blooms that could soothe the senses and turned to dust come morning—flowers that were left as "a fair exchange of beloved for beloved" (Tales of Xadia). Put a pin that Exchange idea because I swear we're gonna come back to it but not in the usual way you might be expecting, or at least not entirely.
And we have good reason to believe this nature motif is tied to Aaravos' current imprisonment as well, given how present flower imagery is for his mirror.
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So the Sea of the Cast Out and Elarion seem to be the two places we know of thus far that are not only the most important to Aaravos, but the most instrumental to his banishment. It would not surprise me if either Aaravos got involved in what would become Elarion either because he was banished, or it was what he was banished over, or if discovering the truth of what happened there is likewise why the Archdragons were partially like "Yeah, we gotta lock this guy up" (now that they knew he posed a serious threat). The fact that Elarion is referred to as a child (everything with "blood of a child,"), black-eyed (which denotes dark magic), and winter's "deathly bite" ("White as the star's heart it pierced, / ivory draconic brought death's bite") just all ties together nicely in being related even if we're not totally sure how.
But Aaravos having his chest piece removed by force / as punishment in addition to being cast out by the Startouch elves, or him taking it out himself and giving it to someone who was lost... There's a lot of roads to get here as to why this stuff all seems connected if the Key is indeed his chest piece, which offers up both a power up, a sad tragic backstory, some baller symbolism, and some nice double meanings as to what it is key wise.
As the Key works in the moment, it doesn't seem like it's something that would be very useful to a primal mage, as other than pretty easily identifiable gemstones they wouldn't be using much the key identifies. However, the function of the Key being able to categorize and sort magical creatures and plants from each other is something that is very useful if you're a dark mage and need to shore up your ingredients list.
If the Key has Aaravos' chest piece in it, there are two main prongs this offers:
It may have been instrumental in helping humans discover dark magic, hence the "Elarion, searing white" and could also be the Gift the poem speaks of. Aaravos removed it himself (love makes you weak?), gave it to his chosen human, chosen human died, and he was locked out of Startouch realm as a combined result. This offers the clearest connection between why Aaravos' mirror has the nature motif and why Aaravos is crying in the beginning of 6x01.
It was removed by the Startouch elves and lost/hidden, forcing Aaravos to be away from his old home until he could find it again. This is the clearest explanation as to why the Key might be relevant on a plot level. It could give him the power up he needs to get out of his prison and barring that, it's what he needs to wreck havoc and gain access to the Startouch elves to get revenge on them
It also allows what we learn of the cube in 2x06 to have multiple meanings:
The Key is revealed in an episode called The Heart of a Titan. We're led to assume that this is just the Magma Titan, and you could perhaps make an argument the dual meaning (just like how Breaking the Seal refers to the letter and the titan's chest) refers to Harrow or Callum's capacity to love. But, given that one of Aaravos' most prominent mythic comparisons is to Prometheus, a literal Titan, well...
"It unlocks something of great power in Xadia" would work equally well if it's a Key literally made from Aaravos, not just to Aaravos. And the past 2 seasons in particular have emphasized over and over again just how powerful and dangerous he is
The salvation and destruction motif that is inherent in the key, ("I just have a feeling this key thing can help me" / "It's the key of Aaravos, no good will come of it") as keys are linked to chains and freedom with the ability to lock and unlock, is rampant in 2x06, as Viren states that Xadia and the Magma Titan "held both the promise of our salvation and threat of our destruction." This goes double for Sarai sacrificing her life to save Viren
And to round back to Viren and his intro, I don't think it's a coincidence that
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is one of the first things Aaravos ever says to Viren, particularly when trying to earn Viren's trust. (Nor that Aaravos considers that Zubeia and co. "betrayed" him when "he would lower his guard," just before the imprisonment.) And while Aaravos gains Viren's trust as a political ally here first, it's also clear that he's actually primarily preying upon Viren's deepest emotional desires here as well: to be listened to. To matter.
Viren wasn't listened to by the monarchs around him (Harrow). He wanted to be important (to them). He wanted to matter.
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"It is everything to me, to know that I matter. It's all I ever wanted."
Aaravos: Search your heart. There is something you want very badly. (2x09) Zubeia: He was able to give them something they wanted very badly. (4x04)
And that's what Aaravos offered him, with power and knowledge just being the bait. (If you're interested in more detailed thoughts on this aspect of Viren / their dynamic, check out this meta here.)
More to the point, I do lean towards the Key's plot purposes being 1) a power-up that may be needed for him to get out of his mirror and 2) something that likewise allows him to see the other Startouch elves again. After all, the Silvergrove gave each elf a similar kind of key:
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But y'know what, let's talk about Rayla now, because
The Missing Piece of Your Heart
As stated earlier, Rayla's letter has a consistent metaphor when it comes to family and loss:
I remember how I felt when my parents left me to join the Dragonguard, like PART OF MY HEART WAS MISSING and I would never feel right again. I thought I hated them when they did that to me. In the beginning, it felt so big and terrible—like raging despair—but, overtime, it became a soft, sweet ache—a reminder of that missing part of my heart. [...] Please don’t let this hurt too much. But, if it does—if you feel that soft aching—know that that piece of your heart isn’t missing. It’s not missing at all, Callum: I’m carrying it with me! Always.
This struck me as interesting when the letter first came out, as it was a departure from most of Rayla's previous heart motif ("My heart for Xadia") and even the one attributed to her one half of her parents ("My heart goes out with this one"). Why have the motif suddenly switch up when it would've worked just as well, or been doubly romantic + a Ruthari parallel, to just have it be the whole heart?
Then season four came out, and I understood, because, well...
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Upon her return, Rayla brings back that "missing piece" of "Callum's heart". It's a painful restoration and doesn't run entirely smooth, but in season five in particular we see him be much more like his older, happier self once he's let himself love her again, and how steadfast he is in said love ("To love is simply know this...").
But, in a moment that could've been exclusively about Rayla, nor did it need for Stella's connection to the Star arcanum to be this prominent in the same moment, they choose to likewise highlight Rayla 'bringing home' the missing piece of Aaravos' heart, too.
This symbolism is also consistent with how the key is introduced in the first place, i.e. first thought of because Rayla's drawing in Callum's sketchbook (another gift from Harrow) reminds Callum of it, and her ultimately being the one to retrieve it even once things at the Banther Lodge take a turn towards the south.
Furthermore, we do have reason to believe that Rayla is indeed the 'Key to Callum' in a sense, particularly after 5x08. Just like how a key can both lock and unlock — give freedom or entrapment — Rayla symbolizes a great deal of duality in Callum's life, including but not limited to:
Leading him to primal magic (1x03, 5x08) and dark magic (2x07, 5x08)
Light ("No one can control you or make your choices for you" / Ray of light) and dark ("But the second you see that elf girl in pain, you completely lost yourself" / "Stay safe, and stay in the light. Don't look for me")
Being routinely emphasized in Callum's arc with Aaravos, especially in S4
"Now you're back. That's kind of good, and it's kind of bad" / "You have to hold pain and love in your heart at the same time" / "And when she came back, I was so happy, and so mad at the same time"
Salvation ("Rayla saves people [...] that's what makes her a hero") and destruction (being willing to die / do dark magic for her)
The Ocean arcanum realization being both positive and negative, just as the poem itself takes on a different shape across the season in regards to how Callum views her and how he views himself while being motivated by his love for her / Ezran
“Wow. So [the berries] look identical, but they might kill you or they might save you,” Callum said. “Exactly. Just like me…” Rayla smiled.
—Book One: Sky novelization
If you're interested in a more specific meta on this dichotomy, I recommend this meta written pre-s4 and this more recent one about 5x08 specifically.
I've written before about Rayla have a weird consistency with the cube as well, particularly in her being the primary carrier of its foreshadowing for most of arc 1, with Callum only really doing so in 1x04 and having Rayla pick up the slack the rest of the time:
"It's a toy, a piece from a children's game" (1x04) as well as "It's a glow toy" (1x05) are now literally true as the cube is 1) involved in Aaravos' game and 2) literally glows a bright flashing light circa the 4x04 intro.
"Are you practicing magic or are you losing to Bait at a game of rolly-cubes?" (2x07 right after Callum calls it a key) came to pass, somewhat if not outright, it seems, in 5x08. Callum practices two different magics, Rayla is literal bait in exchange for the glow-toad, and the episode ends with Callum being worried he's potentially losing Aaravos' 'game' so to speak — that he's made himself more vulnerable to the Startouch elf's control.
Two lines of hers regarding the cube that have not yet come to pass are "This doesn't end well for you" (1x05) and "I hope it was worth it to you, putting everyone's lives in danger" (1x04) but I expect that we'll get them soon enough.
Rayla's 'tether' to a the cube does, of course, loop back into the Flowers of Elarion tale, in which there was a fair exchange of beloved for beloved. If the Key does indeed hold Aaravos' heart (and that is still a very big If), whether it would include an actual exchange is still debatable, but it seems inevitable that she would at least play a part. (If you're interested in more thoughts on Rayla + the cube, check out this meta pre-s4.)
Where the game motif gets the most interesting, I think, is where it intersects with the idea Aaravos mentions in 2x09 regarding, "Those who fail tests of love are simple animals," and one of the TDP short stories in particular having one very interesting tidbit:
“My behavior is—?” “—unusual,” Corvus repeated, nodding. “Very unusual. Ever since you started challenging me to all these little games.” Soren squirmed. His pauldrons clanked as his shoulders slumped. “They aren’t games. They’re tests. Ugh…I’m really messing this up.”
Since Rayla is going to have her "My heart for Xadia" undeniably tested, it would make sense if Callum and Aaravos' hearts came into play too, don't you think?
Other Misc Symbolism / Oddities
Last but not least, we have our odds and ends that didn't fit in the other sections, but I thought may be worthwhile to mention anyway.
For starters, we have screencaps (most notably in 3x06) where you can see a visible dip in Aaravos' tiddies chest that indicates something was removed, and it's not just an artificial darkness.
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We have Aaravos touching a fist to his heart twice before he bows and indicates that Callum is going to "play" into his hands (remember that game motif?).
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We have this shot, which is the exact kind of thing that "crew makes sure the Ocean and Moon runes are most prominently on display in Callum's dark magic dreams to foreshadow him doing dark magic in S5 Ocean for his Moonshadow gf 3 seasons later" would absolutely do and think they're So Funny about. "No gem for star magic" except the one you're unknowingly holding in your hand, am I right?
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Finally, we have precedent that dark magic can 'darken' your heart both in show when Amaya passes the light trial ("A human that is pure of heart") and in the graphic novels with Claudia ("Your heart is not yet darkened") which allows her to see the map to a unicorn (The Puzzle House).
@self-spaghettification also noted that the bright white flash of the star in the 'o' of Aaravos' name in the Arc 2 intro momentarily looks like and makes the shape of the Nova Blade, which is also very cool.
Honourable mention to Rayla going "it's a piece from a children's game" and Ezran going "you said each of the archdragons had a piece of the puzzle" and the Orphan Queen and Jailer presumably working together to trap Aaravos. I think about that shit every day.
Evidence to the Contrary / Alternatives
But like I said at the start, there are plenty of alternatives or feasible pitfalls to consider. This theory resides on a few assumptions after all, that may not be true, such as Aaravos not actually needing the key for anything other than as a lure for Callum, it could purely have something to do with the Nova Blade and nothing to do with the prison, or even have something to do with the nature of magic itself, capable of great good as well as great evil.
His chest piece could've always been more immaterial and dark magic has just darkened it rather than it being removed. Aaravos may have stabbed Laurelion in order to use that heart diamond to partially make the Relic Staff he passed onto Ziard, or Aaravos' chest piece could be in the staff itself, and the cube is something else entirely.
Conclusion
In the end, as we go forward into S6 all the above is more less my personal bet as to where I think we really could go in terms of answering a lot of these questions we've had for a few seasons now. I hope you enjoyed reading the theory and considering (and possibly subscribing to) it, as well as getting your own thoughts stimulated. If any of the above happens I will cry for days and no matter what, I am deeply intrigued to see where S6 takes Aaravos' backstory and, of course, his cube. Luckily:
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snowy-equinox · 3 days
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Revisiting Rahdue's Wheel
Rahdue’s Wheel is a much-larger-than-average tarot spread that originated from Eileen Connolly’s 1987 book, Tarot: The Handbook for the Journeyman. It’s difficult to find detailed information outside of the book, as its size makes it unpopular among most tarot readers. Hell, Connolly herself needs 28 pages to explain it all. Rahdue’s Wheel shows up occasionally on Tumblr or Reddit, but its reputation has mostly become a kind of “Eat the Pig Trough and Get Your Picture on the Wall” for diviners. 
It’s when you get past the size that you start to realize the spread itself has some problems. 
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Tackling the ‘Size’ Premise
Let’s get the premise out of the way: Rahdue’s Wheel does not use all 78 cards. When you look at the spread in detail, it’s broken down into 7 sections: 
Inner Wheel - Present
Center Wheel - Future
Outer Wheel - Past
Dagim Block - Past life
Taleh Pillar (right side) - Past life relationships
Shor Pillar (left side) - Past life memories/experiences
Malkuth Block - Answers the 9 questions you are supposed to have asked before the reading
The last section, the Malkuth Block, is optional. Even if you choose to use it, you may not pull the rest of your deck. Connolly says “Any cards that have not been used are left face down and are not to be read. They do not pertain to the reading and leaving them face down retains the original energy of the spread. If you turn them over, you break the esoteric structure of the entire spread.” At most, this spread requires 69 cards, not 78. 
The Popular Criticisms
While its gimmick is an exaggeration, it is still a behemoth of a spread. Many believe it is unwieldy and bogged down with too much information. This is a common criticism of larger spreads; the more information you pull, the easier it is to get lost. The continual energy drain of pulling, followed by the mental drain of interpreting, can leave you with inaccurate results.
However, this is assuming that you have to do your tarot readings in one sitting. I don’t hold with that idea. You can take on the Wheel in parts, doing a section a day for a week. Or, you can pull all the cards one day, write down what you got, and then do the interpreting the next day. Personally, I think if you have the time, dedication, and skill to parse through all the information, you should be able to get good information out of a large reading. 
The Information
In my opinion, Rahdue’s Wheel’s failure is not due to its size, but the quality of information it gives you.
While I approached this spread with the assumption that most people will read it for themselves, Connolly goes back and forth on the role of her readers. In most of the section dedicated to Rahdue’s Wheel, she talks exclusively about “the client”, implying she is writing for a professional tarot reader and the reading is meant to be between two people (reader & querent). However, at one point, she advises the reader to do the Rahdue’s Wheel for themself four times a year, and there are a couple of “for yourself or the client”’s sprinkled throughout the section. 
I bring this up because this spread is not very good if you’re reading for yourself. The three wheels are the exact same questions; the only thing that changes is the tense. I know what my current health concerns are, and likely I know what my past ones were. The entire past wheel is redundant, as you’re just reliving everything without added context or commentary. Pulling a Three of Swords for past relationships tells me a break-up really hurt me, but it doesn’t tell me how that’s still affecting me. There’s no new information given to the querent beyond “this is how your life and philosophies have changed”. 
The redundancy cuts both ways in the reader/querent question. If you read for yourself, you’re wasting time and energy on things you already know. On the other hand, if you’re reading for someone else, you’re not giving the querent new information that can solve their problems. If anything, it’s spiritual junk food; the reader gets to come off as intuitive and knowledgeable (assuming the cards are all accurate), while not giving any real advice. The querent will leave feeling fulfilled from their amazing connection with the reader without any new ideas on how to fix their situation. 
The Past Life Issue
The other issue that becomes apparent right away is the focus on past lives. The wheels total 39 cards, while the past life sections total 30. This makes the past lives sections nearly half of the spread. Connolly believes that our actions and mindsets are influenced by the hidden memories and traumas of our past lives. She rationalizes that knowing about these lives is a good way to look deeper into the querent’s psychology. This gives us context for the previous problem: The reason we’re looking at every aspect of a person’s life is to find patterns stemming from the past lives. If we find your past life was betrayed by a lover, we know the root cause of your commitment issues. The wheels and the past lives sections work together to illuminate the overarching themes of the querent’s karmic life. 
This creates multiple barriers in order to make this spread work: 
You must believe in past lives as a concept
You must believe you personally have at least one past life
You must believe that issues from your past life can affect your current life
If you have all three beliefs, then this spread can do amazing things for you! But many people don’t have all three. I can’t get past the third one myself; I think it’s possible to connect with and learn from your past lives, but I don’t think their traumas become ours. For many, they don’t have the necessary beliefs to bridge the gap between the two halves of the spread. 
Even if you do believe past lives can affect our current lives, this spread still runs into the problem we discussed earlier: there is no advice given. At best, the reader will probably say to do “past life work” before sending you on your way. Knowing where your issues stem from can be helpful, but the knowledge itself won’t change anything. Ultimately, to see change you need a direction to go in. This spread will not give that to you. 
Finally Answering the Questions
Let’s revisit the Malkuth Block, the tarot reading within the tarot reading. Once the diviner has exhausted themselves sorting through every facet of your lives (present and past), it’s time to actually answer those questions you had that brought you to a reader in the first place. Connolly leaves it up to the reader to determine how many cards should be pulled per question. As I mentioned earlier, she says not every card will be flipped over and read, but then she goes on to say that if the querent only has one question, you must read all 9 cards in the Block. She does not give an explanation for this; I assume something to do with the “esoteric structure” but who knows. 
At this point, you’re doing a basic tarot reading. Surprisingly, many tarot readers are able to do “here’s the answer to your question” readings without knowing every single thing about you. If you’re just trying to get questions answered, the majority of this spread is unnecessary. It’s also incredibly damaging; by putting the questions at the end of the marathon spread, you get to the important part of the reading when the diviner is exhausted. 
Conclusion
Rahdue’s Wheel works well for very specific situations, like when you want to do past life work and don’t know what to focus on. But for the average reader this spread is too bloated. Not only is the size too large for most people to read accurately in one sitting, but the information it gives you is useless. You’re better off finding a smaller spread. 
While some use Rahdue’s Wheel as practice, I think most people bookmark it purely as a challenge spread to do “some day”. But this spread does work if you use it within the beliefs and framework Connolly created it for. I would bet there are a lot of people out there looking for just this kind of spread to help them with their past lives. They’ve probably heard the name before, but pass over it because no one talks about it as a past life spread or a karmic spread. They only talk about it as “The Ultimate Spread”. It’s become clickbait, in tarot form.
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onlyhere-onlynow · 2 days
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Hi, sweet El. I think you could give a very good answer to my "worries". (Forgive me in advance for my ignorance in mentioning life as if it were serious) I used to think about assumptions, now there is nothing to be done about non-dualism at all. I as a body was attached to my significant others and an ex who is now with another girl. My concern in this world is people and honestly they are all hurting me, it makes me very sad to see this "physical" reality. I also in my head(reality too?) see the love of these people...I also think about my self worth and self love, very sad a little bit. (I had toxic parents who I wanted to replace with new and better ones by visualizing them in my head. I mean delulu, delusional. I had classmates at school who bullied me, a best friend who looked at my status and turned out to hate me. A boyfriend who cheated with another girl.) I'm starting to hate people...
Wow, okay… Slow down. Some tough love is needed here, and to whoever needs it (most of you all, probably).
Can you notice how thinking that you’re a separate individual from it all brings suffering? “This world is hurting me”, “People are hurting me”, “This past is hurting me”! … Really? I mean, that coming from the absolute authority, I don’t know if I should be impressed by your acting skills or feel second hand embarrassment…
I can’t even express how wonderful you are in words, your truth! Boundless, limitless, the “IT” of it all… And you have this attitude? Playing the victim? Wow… Aren’t you tired? Because, believe me, I know the victim complex can be sooo comfortable. I’ve been there, but it’s actually so silly once you notice it all! Like when I was little I pretended to pour ketchup all over my body and play dead. Man, cut it out…
Seriously, you decide to pretend to be this tiny person in such a “big, cruel world”? Because that’s not who you really are… Tell me, is it fun? Maybe it is, it seems like it…, but guess what? You’ll grow bored of it just like most of us did. Can you have some trust in yourself and see who you actually are, how things actually are?
C’MON, CRY IF YOU WANT TO CRY, BUT PICK YOURSELF UP AFTER. YOU NO VICTIM, NO PERSON, NO NOTHING!
have a good day <3 :3
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katara speaks to each member of the gaang individually and finds out that aang has been head over heels with her for years and no one ever bothered telling her. this takes place after the fire lord is defeated, but in my version, they never kissed in the finale:oo katara is basically dumb in terms of love and so is aang and they are peak miscommunication trope and theres too much zutara content and not enough kataang
OR katara interrogates each of her friends (toph, sokka, and zuko) and comes to the conclusion that she has lived for years without the kind of love most people wish for their entire lives
....
Aang liked Katara. Like-likes her, even.
Wow, she thought to herself, I really should’ve grown out of using the phrase “like-like” by now.
She just couldn’t use the other word. That four-letter word that communicated such intense, devoted emotion. As soon as Toph said it, it seemed simultaneously to be the most obvious thing in the world and yet the most fundamentally incorrect thing Katara had ever heard.
“Wh-what,” Katara almost stammered, tripping over her words in a manner uncharacteristic of the Gaang’s most graceful member. “What gave you that impression?”
She was met with a blank stare and a raised eyebrow. “Have you not noticed the way he reacts when you’re in danger? When you’re hurt?” She paused, rolling her eyes incredulously. “For heaven’s sake, Katara, Twinkle-Toes gave up firebending after lightly toasting your hands. He gave up the avatar state for you. To be honest, if it would save you from some impending doom, I think he’d give up being the avatar for you, as long as you’d end up okay.”
“I think that’s taking the assumption a bit far.”
“I say that that doesn’t take it far enough.”
“I, I just- know he doesn’t feel that way about me. In the cave of two lovers, back before you joined the group, we were split from Sokka and when I thought we needed to kiss to get through the cave…” she blushed, remembering the embarrassment that had burned through her body. “He… he made it clear that he wasn’t interested.”
She was met with an eye roll. “Whatever you say, Sugar Queen.”
....
♥ the rest of the (completed) fic can be found here!! ->
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animeyanderelover · 3 days
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Anon: Could I please request yandere headcannons for: gokudera, yamamoto, spanner, dr shamal, basil, ryohei, dino, hibari, haru and squalo from khr?
Yandere Katekyo Hitman Reborn Hc's
Miura Haru
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👘​There is no chance in heaven nor hell that people won't know about Haru's feelings for you because she is anything but discreet about how much she loves you. She is openly declaring how much her heart is pounding whenever she sees you and she often awakes the impression that she is retelling a love poem whenever you are around as she confesses every sappy thought she has in her mind. Haru is very obsessive because she is very firm in her decision that she will be your future wife so she is already busily memorizing everything she can about you. This may already be a tad bit disturbing as it is although it could still be trivialised as her just being very attentive when it comes to you. The attentiveness probably stops when you realise that she has even memorized where you walk as soon as you leave the house and at which times you are most likely to go out to buy some groceries.
👘​The innocent-looking cinnamon roll takes it with her observations maybe just a tad bit too far as she essentially stalks you and lies in wait for you to turn up. She would like to see her behavior as dedication to the person she loves most in the world. Can you not understand her desire to spend time with you? You wouldn't think about sending her away after she has waited for you here all this time, right? Haru is extremely single-minded in her pursuit and this makes her very delusional and dismissive if you should ever try to explain to her that she couldn't be more wrong with her assumptions. Instead you will only hurt her feelings. Whilst she would never be truly angry with you, when you see the tears bubbling up in her eyes you can't help feeling like you are the bad guy. Since Haru won't even hold her emotions back when in public, everything is made even more complicated because the last thing you want is making her cry whilst others are watching.
👘​Haru gets quite easily jealous but it is at the same time also quite easy to de-escalate her emotions if you explain to her who the person is or if you simply involve her in the discussion. Her social attitude will solve the rest and by the end of the conversation she has probably made a new friend. That is if you actually notice that she is watching because otherwise things can take a more interesting turn. Haru has a very lively imagination to the point where she feels like she is witnessing a scandal in the making whenever you converse with someone she does not know and don't introduce that person to her afterwards. For whatever reason instead of simply asking you about it, she comes up with the most complex solution of stalking you and the other person in one of her questionable outfits she chose to blend in mission failed as she follows you two around. Safe to say, you have spotted her every single time and managed to untangle the misunderstanding which quickly lifts her mood.
👘​Whilst Haru could always take the easy route of asking Tsuna for help who just happens to be the head of the mafia, she likes to take matters into her own hands. As kind and caring as she is, she can be very assertive if she wants to be and can whop someone's ass verbally if they should have wronged you. Her persistence and stubbornness are her finest weapons and she can very likely wear someone down by remaining so single-minded as she can use her stalking tendencies to find out where someone lives if she is upset enough with them. In situations where more caution would be adviced you better stop her because she doesn't seem to work with a rational mindset at times when she tries to solve even such problems for you by dressing up as a samurai or another fitting costume in her arsenal to defend you. Asking her friends for help is a last resort, especially since they are real mafioso.
👘​She has already envisioned it all. From the house you two will buy to the colour you paint the walls with the every single furniture you're going to have in your shared home. She has even started practicing to cook your favorite meals to be able to make you really happy as soon as the both of you live together. Don't even try to shatter her dreams unless you want to summon her tears. It isn't like Haru would actually ever kidnap you because she does not have the heart to do so. She would never hurt your feelings like that. At the same time she is so painfully optimistic and delusional about the matter. She is saving up money already to buy the house of her dreams and she is even telling all the people around her very excitedly about her visions. You just have a hard time ruining her her dreams because whilst she would probably accept your decision, she would never recover from her crushed dreams and hopes.
👘​Haru is very clingy and since she is always waiting for you to turn up to have the chance to spend as much time with you as she possibly can, it is quite hard to shake her off. She already has a "Haru Appreciation Day" and you get an appreciation day once a month too. It is a day where she is going to be even more affectionate and will spoil you even more than she normally does already and it is very likely that she will very soon make one to celebrate the fact that you two are a couple as well. She has a fascination with cosplaying and costumes already so she will 100% want you two to wear matching outfits or cosplay as fictional couples. She's even sewing you shirts with embroidery stating that you are her lover and she gets sad if you don't wear what she has sewn you. She doesn't understand your uncomfortableness with wearing something that has such cheesy words written on it.
Gokudera Hayato
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🧨Above all else, Gokudera will be the most loyal simp you have ever seen in your entire life. He is infatuated with you to the point where he can even justify some stuff that normally should demand an apology from you as he likes to think that you are a good person through and through and that it's the fault of the people around you for triggering you. Whilst he can be a tad bit delusional with this particular way of thinking, he won't let everything you do just slide like this because even he can recognize if you were clearly in the wrong in a certain situation but even then he will probably go easy on you. Hayato, even if he likes to let you off the hook easy with his mindset, is up to a certain point still more aware of his obsession that is rapidly evolving and funnily enough he is a tad bit embarrassed about it initially. That is only a short phase though before he throws all worries out of the window and just dedicates himself to you.
🧨His dedication can go indeed quite far as he does some good research on you because even if he has quite a bit of a temper, Gokudera is also awfully smart and methodical. That naturally includes that he literally notes down the habits and preferences he is able to figure out by observing you and he will even go as far as casually stalking you, although he is smart enough to not let himself get caught. There is a possessive streak he has and he likes to express that often because of his hot-tempered nature. He has sworn loyalty and dedication to you after all even if you never asked for it and due to this oath he has made he tends to be more arrogant as well as very protective. After all none of the other people you waste your time with would know as much about you as he does not would they be willing to go as far for you as he would. If you don't see that yet, he will gladly prove himself to you.
🧨His explosive temper is going to be quite difficult to handle as he is almost always irritable and hostile to the people around you. It is because he has promised himself that he would be the one to love and protect you best that he gets even more frustrated and angry whenever someone else thinks they're the shit and can do what he can obviously do better. If his patience snaps he will beat someone up and that without much consideration or regret. Hayato is still lucid enough to realise that you probably wouldn't appreciate him beating someone up in front of you so he tries to not get physically violent if you are around, although he certainly can't hold back all of his jealousy as he instead vents out his frustration through his words. He can always beat them up later when you aren't around. Everyone who tries to charm you and protect you is his rival but he will most certainly fight for his spot for you to want him as your lover and protector.
🧨I believe the most evident sign of his sheer dedication and willingness to really uphold his oath of protecting you from all harm is shown in the almost jarring difference in his attitude when he is presented with no other choice but murdering someone. His jealous and violent behavior, as immature and harming it can be, is still a mere child's play. Even Gokudera knows about the weight of killing someone and that hasn't changed even if he is the Storm Guardian of the current mafia generation. Taking someone's life is a serious matter and for that reason he will take it just as serious as well. Instead of impulsively storming to his victim and killing them, he is far more methodical and meticulous with his plans. Depending on whom it is he sees the need to murder he either only uses his dynamite to set a trap or uses his Box Weapon. If he is going to murder someone in cold blood, he will do it properly and not play around.
🧨He will most likely show enough understanding that an abduction might be a bit more extreme but at the same time he is a part of the Vongola Family. He knows very well that the life he has chosen is not safe and that is why he tends to be very overprotective and in urgent situations even controlling as he then wants you to listen to every instruction he gives you. There is this bad reputation clinging to the mafia so Hayato greatly hesitates to even inform you about his occupation. A scenario where you get kidnapped by him is usually one where he finds himself in a desperate situation that could either include the danger of your own life or the danger of the relationship. Whilst it will be more of a spontanous decision, Gokudera still somehow manages to squeeze in a plan as he has to act swiftly, especially if your life is indeed in danger due to another gang targeting you. He knows that it'll be confusing and frightening but he is begging you for a chance to listen to him at least.
🧨Despite the bad boy image that Hayato is often cultivating, he gets surprisingly easily flustered whenever you pay any attention to him. He always becomes hyper-aware of every twitch of his lips and tries his best to not embarrass himself. Instead he's always trying to use the chance to look cool and impress you so if someone else steals your attention away whilst he is in the middle of attempting to amaze you, his jealousy quickly returns. You will be the sweetest thing to him with every small affection that you give him because he will always turn a bit red in his face. His tough appearance melts when he is around you and specifically if he is alone with you because then he can truly dedicate all of his attention and focus to you instead of getting triggered by the people around you. As soft as he can be with you though, Hayato is very serious and will enforce decisions on you if he should ever suspect your life to be at risk.
Yamamoto Takeshi
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💧​Yamamoto is terribly oblivious as he will probably remain forever ignorant of his obsessive feelings. This is after all the same boy who has been treating the whole mafia affair as some sort of role play and even as he grows older and matures more, you can not hope him to ever consider his love as something that could potentially be a tad bit dangerous. At least you are lucky enough though that Yamamoto is such an easy-going and relaxed guy who isn't very possessive nor is he really controlling. What he will be though is protective and I can definitely see this as a trait that will amplify as the years go by and he gains more knowledge and especially more battle experience as the Rain Guardian of Tsuna. After all he can be as relaxed in battle and with his overall life only as long as no one he cares about greatly is brought in danger because of it. He learns that it isn't all fun and games to him the moment you are in danger.
💧​Even if you were to somehow know of his obsession with you, you will have a very hard time convincing others of it and chances are that even you will have troubles believing it. It is Takeshi's very personality that makes it so hard to accept and believe it. He is kind and warm-hearted and he has a very special ability to get on friendly terms with most people he engages with. This will mean that you will be in troubles if you would try to avoid him because not only is he going to charm most of your acquaintances and friends anyways but they will most likely pick his side and would think that you are in the wrong. If Yamamoto wouldn't be such a good and kind individual, he would be a frighteningly good manipulator so just be thankful that he is always so painfully sincere with every gesture and word of his. That doesn't mean that you will be able to avoid him if you choose to do so though as even your own friends might try to help Takeshi.
💧​Differently from Hayato, Yamamoto will showcase a great amount of patience and respect with most people you engage with. His own willingness to befriend the people you hang around with regularly only aids in this as this means that he is already familiar with most people around you anyways. Even if he were to feel jealous it is not like he is going to make a big drama about it but is going to handle the situation maturely. If he doesn't know someone yet and he gets uncomfortable with the way they behave around you, he will tell you so whilst also asking who that was. He's just informing you whenever someone has made him slightly uncomfortable with the way they are behaving around you and he will tell the other person about it just as much. It is all fine though but only as long as he can expect the same level of respect and maturity from the other person. If they instead choose to act immature, Yamamoto will make sure to keep them away from you.
💧​Usually known as a peacekeeper, Takeshi is fully capable of acting accordingly if a situation should turn dire and that is easier if you are involved than if it would be only him. He is able to maintain a level of calmness in combat but he tends to be more frantic and panicked if you should get involved which is why he takes according preparation to ensure that you won't get involved and will be used as a distraction against him. He has a code of honor though as he doesn't walk around and beats everyone up who gets on his nerves nor does he stain his sword in needless blood. He only ever draws his sword in a dire situation. Whilst he is considerate enough to give someone a warning if they should slowly get on his bad side, the fun has already stopped for him there. All signs of a warm smile on his face are already gone at that point and instead there is this serious and almost somber aura around him that makes the air heavy. Don't underestimate him, although be reassured that at least he will give his victims a swift death.
💧​Despite the existing obliviousness that he has when it comes to the ability to recognise his own wrong feelings for you, Takeshi also draws a line he tries to not tresspass under normal circumstances. Next to the act of taking a life, the act of abducting his darling is also something he normally wouldn't dare to do. His position as the Storm Guardian may be one filled with more risks and danger but he also makes sure to enable you to live a normal life. I don't really see him permanently abducting you but he will take certain meassurements for your safety if the situation calls for it. That can include relocating you to a safer and better guarded and protected place and restricting your ability to walk freely and alone around for an unknown period of time. Those conditions are never something permanent though as they only last as long as the situation is still grave.
💧​His good-natured personality might to more harm for you than it can do good for you at times because you somehow always end up being blamed for misunderstanding the situation if you truly try to avoid him or just aren't interested in him as he ends up stealing the hearts of all the people around you. Almost chivalrous in his courting, Takeshi is also unable to be stopped in his attempts to woo you. His determination is overflowing and he never gives up his hopes no matter how much you try to tell him that you aren't interested. Even if he may be considerate enough to back off and stop, you can always sense that he is waiting for the next chance. He often invites you over to the sushi bar his father owns and ends up preparing you sushi for free, even if you insist on paying.
Sasagawa Ryohei
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👊​As someone who lives by the motto of living to the extreme, you can probably already imagine how Ryohei is. He gives 120% all of the time and that naturally includes his behavior around you. Ryohei dabbles into the full-blown delusional area of his obsession. You are his passion, his heart is set on fire whenever he sees you and all the potentially worrying behavior he starts exhibiting due to his feelings all fly over his head as he can easily dismiss them as acts of his passion for you. You think that it is quite creepy that he is always insisting on following you around wherever you go to the point where he even sprints to you if you try to leave earlier in order to be freed from his company? You're being silly, he just wants to make sure that he can protect you if something should happen. A particular focus of his seems to be his fixation on thinking that it is his job to protect you since he is your boyfriend.
👊​His delusional streak makes the normally already obstinate boy even more sturdy as every rejection coming from you flies over his head to the point where he even forgets that you ever had the conversation with him in the first place. Whilst he is at least not that bad to the point where he literally misunderstands everything from you as a sign of your secret feelings for him, he is still quite good in erasing everything "inconvenient" from his mind. Did I mention that he is clingy? He has to be involved in your life as much as he can and he does so even if he ends up making you a tad bit more uncomfortable by inserting himself arguably more forceful into your daily routine. If he doesn't do exactly that, he in fact can get quite twitchy as he doesn't really like not being up to date and actively involved in your life for a longer amount of time.
👊​Bring. It. On. Jealousy from Ryohei's side can very quickly activate his competitive nature where he sees every provocation from someone else as a challenge and since it really isn't his personality to back away from a fight, he will accept the challenge that probably only exists in his own mind. It isn't even out of character for him to actually ask someone if they would fight him in a boxing match. He really doesn't think such things through and he is quite fine with that as he is always ready for a fight and that eagerness is especially triggered if he finds a "rival" he has to compete against. The problem here is thst Ryohei is exceptionally quick to feel jealous, don't underestimate how passionate his feelings for you actually are. Chances are due to this that someone gets involved who isn't even interested in you and Ryohei insists on a fight because if someone isn't even couragous enough to face him, they are not worthy of you.
👊​His willingness to battle even extends to more life-threatening fights where his own life is on the line as he sees every obstacle as a chance to grow stronger. However, Ryohei is firm in his belief that his lover has nothing to do with his battles so he always makes sure never let you get involved in any dangerous activities, especially once he starts working for the Vongola Family. The thing is that he doesn't really think too much the moment someone infuriates him because then the result is usually a broken jaw as he impulsively punches them. His passion can turn quite deadly if you are at risk as it can turn into mindless wrath where he just starts violently attacking someone without stopping until he has calmed down. Whilst this reckless and impulsive behavior dies down a bit as he gets older, I would argue that the new maturity he brings to the task is perhaps even more terrifying as he lets his victim know that he is going to kill them and that they should at least show him that they have some honor by fighting back instead of begging pathetically for their life.
👊​As a student this is honestly a tad bit amusing but for the biggest portion just scary. Ryohei doesn't force you in his life because it has always been the other way around. He forces himself in your life. Whenever he is in the mood, he just pops up in front of your house and screams in front of your window that he wants to see you. The whole neighborhood knows about his feelings because he really doesn't hold back to express them to you in about every loud way possible. So during his younger years he always comes to you when he feels like you might be in danger, fully prepared to defend you. He only really gets the needed capacities to kidnap you when he joins the mafia and matures as it is only then that he realises that an abduction is a thing. At this point he has fallen out of his worst delusional phase though and only uses that option if your life is in grave danger. The whole plan will be more or less a spontanous act though as he is the one who then comes storming to your house to bring you to a safer place.
👊​Ryohei is not a good planner, especially during his time as a student. He tends to forget important stuff and details though and he becomes quite conscious of this when he starts gaining feelings for you. It would be incredibly unfitting for him to forget important details about you since he wants to be your man so he starts writting memos to not forget it. He has those same memos still years later although he doesn't need them anymore at that point. He is quite verbal and physical to express his love to you and at times he even sees it as a challenge to show you as much of his love as he can, especially if someone else is very nice to you and in this case it doesn't even matter if they are interested in you or not. He's constantly begging you to visit his boxing club or to just watch him train because he does like to show off his skills at time. Whilst the wildest parts of his personality weaken over time as he grows older, his feelings for you certainly don't.
Hibari Kyoya
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🐤​Hibari is going to pose a big problem for you due to his solitary and indomitable nature as well as his naturally scary appearance. He is very possessive and shows little to no consideration to you nor to others as he wants you and he does whatever it takes to have you. Your consens isn't even really needed for that matter because as long as Hibari knows that you are his, he is going to be satisfied no matter how you may currently feel. Whilst he is actually not blind to the fact that he is very obsessed with you and that he does a lot of things that are anything but good and moral behavior, he just frankly doesn't care. Hibari is only interested in what he values and wants so he doesn't have time considering everyone's feelings, not even your own. Since he is known to use authority and even violence to everyone who doesn't follow the rules or who gets on his nerves, you can probably already imagine what that implies for you.
🐤​You have your own lovely set of rules he has made for you and he expects you to follow them as well. It is quite hypocritical that he despises being controlled or restrained but inflicts the very things he hates on you. You may be tempted to try to escape or simply ignore the rules because Hibari is actually not that present in your life but whenever you do such a wasted attempt, he finds out and will approach you quickly after with a displeased glint in his eyes. What you don't know is that whilst you may not see him every day, Hibari is watching you more often than you think. He is stalking you often from somewhere, those cold eyes trailing after you as he mentally notes every thing you do. It is due to this stalking nature that he has gathered a ton of information on you, more than you are confident with. His lonesome and possessive nature is going to isolate you naturally more, even if you aren't a social butterfly to begin with.
🐤​He values rules and expects others to stick to them. The moment he sets his eyes on you, one unspoken rule instantly becomes that no one should dare to get close to you or try to take you. Since Kyoya is quite confident in his own abilities and his strength, jealousy is perhaps not the right word to use. He is displeased and annoyed more than anything because some idiot here thinks that they can just ignore his rules. Well, it usually doesn't end well for the person anyways and unfortunately even you may become a victim to his displeasure if you should have acted in a way that has awoken the impression that you forgot that you belong to him. If this should happen often, whether it is your fault or someone else's, Kyoya will see it through to isolate you from people a lot more so that you learn your lesson. Honestly, he is being unnecessarily harsh with you but that is mainly to blame on his introverted traits.
🐤​Due to his little regard for the well-being of others, Kyoya will be especially ruthless if he decides to attack because he is always going to hurt someone. Whilst he doesn't let people die needlessly for his own interest, he will be everything but gentle on them as he just believes that people who don't value rules have to be punished. He knows that establishing his own dominance and letting others know what happens if they break rules or annoy him is the most efficient way to make them listen and obey so he does exactly that. Since you are his possession after all, he won't allow anyone to touch you nor will he allow anyone to hurt you. As cold and scary as he may be, this makes him awfully protective over you as he will go after everyone who does as much as threaten you. He is not joking around in the least bit and that means that Hibari will have a considerable kill count as the years pass by, especially once he gets involved with the mafia.
🐤​He hates crowds, he hates people, he just hates being around others in general. He prefers to be alone and he prefers you to be alone as well. It is easier to keep an eye on you then and see what you do and he also doesn't have to get irritated by the people around you. Yet I don't see Hibari going instantly for the forceful abduction because he likes to believe that you will know what you are and aren't supposed to do without him needing to actively surveil you. Don't get cocky though because if you misbehave one too many times, he will lock you away in his house and not let you leave until he believes you have learned your lesson. A permanent abduction doesn't sound appealling to him because he doesn't want to become some sort of caretaker for you as that would just tie him down. He wants you to be independent enough to get through your normal life by yourself yet obedient enough to him to know what you aren't supposed to do.
🐤​Sometimes days go on where you do not see Hibari personally but you never know if he is currently watching you from elsewhere in that moment or not. Truth is that Kyoya actually needs his solitude as well and will leave you by yourself then. If you break any of his rules, he will find out somehow after all but sometimes he just needs some time for himself. Whilst he has been acting on his possessive feelings for the most part, sometimes he gets really strict with you precisely because he has a soft spot for you. In a way one could see this as a way of you having control over him too but to not let you even get the idea that you may use his feelings against him, he is very keen on establishing his own dominance over you. It is this mindset that gives him a tough time being soft around you although he eventually mellows out slowly as years pass by until he even entrusts you with the care of his Hibirds.
Basilicum
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🟤​Basil may be a part of the CEDEF but don't even expect for a minute that this means that he is aware enough to know about his own feelings. He is quite a good example of being a delusional Yandere though because despite working for a Secret Intelligence Organisation, he is quite prone to misunderstand things. Yes, he will completely misunderstand it whenever he catches you looking at him or whenever you are just simply polite and helpful around him. Apparently politness from your side is seen as signs of attraction for him from his side. This can get quite out of hand as he slowly starts reciprocate your gestures in the way he thought they were meant. He also starts helping you in your daily life and he even buys you small gifts every once in a while which he gives you whilst a blush is on his face.
🟤​He is quite shy though because whilst he is talented in many things and is the apprentice of Iemitsu, he has never been trained how to court someone and how to confess to the person he loves. This does cause him to feel awfully hesitant and insecure at times because he is constantly worrying that he does something wrong and tends to dramatise gestures and behavior from your side to the point where he believes that he has done something terrible to offend you. Whilst Basil is quite gullible and for that fairly easy to manipulate the tables can turn quite a lot when he gets desperate and looks like he is genuinely about to cry. He's on his knees and begging you then to forgive him because he doesn't know how he could continue living happily if he wouldn't have you in his life. If you think that this outburst is only going to last for a little while, you couldn't be more wrong. Are you really heartless enough to let him drown in such eternal misery?
🟤​If you worry that his insecurities might make way to jealousy, don't. He's got you covered already. He has gotten over those feelings by pretty much keeping tabs on all the people around you and spying on them as well as stalking you and noting down who all the people are you have in your life. This might be quite disturbing for you if you were to ever find out but knowing such things is very reassuring for Basil who feels less threatened by having potentially someone else who would be interested in you. If he ever does feel jealous, there is always this black hole that is mainly there because he feels like he doesn't understand them enough so he intensifies his research until he digs very deep into their life just to fill that empty hole in his heart. If he knows them after all, he can prepare himself accordingly and that helps him to feel at ease.
🟤​As a member of the CEDEF, despite his innocent looks Basil actually holds a lot more power and possesses much more skill than the average person could ever hope to have. As such he would be in theory quite dangerous but luckily he is on the kinder and polite spectrum. He may know at one point everything about you as well as all your family members, friends and acquaintances but that is just how he works as he feels uneasy if he doesn't know everything. His obsession really won't let him rest when it comes to this. This automatically means though that he can use his position as a member of the organisation to dig up some secrets that shouldn't be known if he should ever classify someone as a threat to you. There is no real use for violence for Basil unless it is a last resort because he can just blackmail someone with the information he has obtained about them.
🟤​He would be lying if he would claim that he has never imagined living with you before. In fact he starts fantasising about it quite a lot the more time you spend together with him and the more he finds out about you. He has his hopes even up that those dreams won't be dreams anymore as soon as the both of you are old enough because he tends to see things with rose-tinted glasses. There is no real threat for Basil to kidnap you though, at least for the most part. He may start shedding tears the moment he asks you if you want to move in with him and you reject him, he may beg you to change your mind but he won't do much else. You do think you see him at night standing in front of your house at times though. Basil can be quite efficient though with the load of stuff he knows about you as well as your family and friends which can be used as a very lethal way to blackmail you into doing as he says. Let's just hope that it doesn't get that far.
🟤​His extremely obsessive tendencies imply that he also knows all about your secrets and fears that only very few people may know but at least he seems to possess enough common sense to understand that he shouldn't let you know about the knowledge he possesses about you. At times he may slip up though by accidentally mentioning something to you that he shouldn't know about you but he is smart enough to always cover his mistakes up. Basil definitely uses the huge amount of information he holds in his hands to charm you as well as all the people who are important to him in hopes that they will like him. It is quite important to him that all the people you love will like him so he would be quite distraught if one of them wouldn't think much of him or even go as far as thinking that he isn't suited to be your partner.
Dino
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🐎​Dino is just smooth. He is tall, he is handsome and he is quite skilled with his words as well, sure to flatter all the women around him, Dino has set his eyes on you though so he only cares about how his charm will affect you. Dino is actually quite lucid about the entire situation and he won't lie, he has spent some nights thinking about how he should feel bad about it. After all he is a very caring individual to everyone who works for him and who means something to him. Despite the hint of guilt that he manages to experience at times though, for the most part there is just a dwelling possessive feeling that demands him to claim you as his. He is careful with the way he approaches you though as he keeps his identity as well as the true extend of his feelings a secret. Even as a mafia boss, he chooses the honest route of courting you for the most part and he is actually quite confident in his ability to pull it off.
🐎​Nevertheless though, a sprinkle of manipulation here and there will still be used to just stir you in the right direction. His mature and calm exterior combined with his good looks and his smooth words can make a quite lethal combination after all and he even learns to use his occasional clumsiness to make himself appear even more endearing in your eyes. He only uses subtle manipulation for the most part though as he still wants you to choose him out of your won free will. Quite protective of those who mean something to him, this naturally starts applying to you as well to the point where his skills even increase when around you. Whilst his clumsiness then doesn't work anymore, he learns to act like he is sometimes still quite ditzy either to make you smile or de-escalate a possibly tense situation between you two. Whilst he ensures that he never reveals his more intimidating side to you though, he will be much more willing to reveal it to others.
🐎​How blessed you are to have someone like him who is not only skilled and handsome but also so mature and collected. Confidence really can do wonders and Dino showcases that perfectly. He knows that he is physically appealing and since he has gotten so insanely dedicated to you which has led to the disappearance of his clumsiness when he is around you, he is very skilled in most things he does. There aren't many people who can do the same so he can be quite relaxed as he lets you spend your time with other people. Even if there should be someone who tries their luck with you, he just watches with an amused look on his face. He doesn't even have to say anything as most lose their courage the moment he steps next to you and just looks at them with that entertained look on his face. He can switch a flip though by becoming more serious when someone is actually more than just talk. He respects that but that doesn't mean that they can just think about trying to court you.
🐎​He is not going to take it lightly the moment someone threatens his darling. Dino is very protective because he is a mafia boss who has been in this business for quite some time now. He knows how dangerous it can get in his world and that you wouldn't last long if you were to get ever involved. He is vicious to guarantee that no one can ever get that close to you simply to protect your unawareness of what he really does. Perhaps it also the fear of what you might do if you were to ever figure out that he is the head of his own mafia family. It is going to be difficult to touch even your hair in any harmful way though because not only is his organisation very big but his subordinates are also extremely loyal to him. Then there is of course also Dino who is a force that has to be acknowledged because Reborn has trained him truly well as he murders anyone who poses a serious threat without any hesitation. You must never know about all of this though.
🐎​He is definitely going to ask you to move in with him after a while of being a couple. If you reject him, that is fine. He understands that it may be still a bit too sudden and then he just waits for a while until he repeats his question to you. If it would be someone else than Dino, you could get in trouble but to your huge luck Dino is as composed as he is. There is a limit to this all though and that will be when he decides to propose to you within only two years of being a pair. That is your last chance to accept him on your own free will because after that Dino will get involved otherwise to give you the needed push to accept his offer. Even if he attempts to not be too horrible in the course he chooses to take, what he does cannot be excused as he gives you some financial troubles or sees it through that some essential things like your car or your keys get stolen.
🐎​Your life is going to be quite an easy one as long as things between Dino and you go smoothly. You will be pampered and spoiled by him a lot as a sort of excuse for his absence whenever he has to fulfill his role as the mafia boss. Lavish clothes, delicious food and expensive trips around the world all become part of your life and technically everything could go smoothly. Unfortunately Dino has never really told you what he really does for a living so the essential break might happen if you find it out in a most unfortunate moment and react horribly to the reveal. Because at this point in your life, you won't go anywhere anymore. He hasn't married you for you to leave him just because you found out who he really is. He feels sorry and believe him, he understands. He didn't desire to be the boss of the Cavallone Famiglia until Reborn trained him either.
Squalo
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◻️​Whether Squalo really has any understanding for his obsession or not is not really of importance, although I like to imagine that as a second-in-command he is smart enough to recognise it. Even if he knows about it though, it does not matter in the least bit to him as he just takes it as it is with no signs of guilt or mercy which spells trouble for you, my dear. Squalo has an awfully huge ego and is very possessive to top it all as he takes pride in his strength and his skill. There is no such thing as courting you or trying to win your heart over as this is way too time-consuming and too much work for this man and since he is as powerful as he is, the easiest way is just forcing you into everything by abusing his influence and his power. You are just his one day suddenly and from that day on he makes sure through often radical ways that you learn to understand this by adjusting your social activities and your closeness to others.
◻️​Squalo has no troubles simply blackmailing you into doing as he tells you to do and isn't even shying away from threatening those around you to make everything even more efficient. His overly possessive antics definitely lead you into an isolating condition where you are partially stuck because you are too scared of him and are partially stuck because you are too scared of what he may do to other people if you would break his rules. You are constantly put under stress as you are never feeling safe even if he isn't pysically within your proximity. Your unease is not unjustified because even if Squalo has a short temper it is important to consider that despite everything he is still part of the Varia and an extremely talented assassin. It is part of his skill to watch people silently from afar to wait for the right moment so you never know when he might watch you either.
◻️​Squalo is threatening and noisy if he should ever feel jealous because he for sure will let you and the other person know about how he is feeling. You should know better than to engage with someone else, you should know better than to question his possession over you like this but sometimes you just seem to be amazingly stupid. Think about it and consider that this man is very violent and extremely deadly too. He could probably murder someone within only a few seconds, if he is feeling merciful that is. Needless to say, such events never end well for you as he is not only threatening your company but will also violently drag you away from the scene. You cannot say anything unless you dare to add fuel to his flaring temper as he frags you away, his grip on you tight and painful but it's not like he cares. You better pray that he won't search for that bastard later on to quench his anger.
◻️​Squalo is arguably one of the most vicious and violent people you could have in this cast. He is already a trained assassin, he loves fights and he has been described by Dino as a shark that has smelled blood. The only thing you can do is pray when he leaves to hunt someone down. He kills everyone who has gotten on his nerves or triggered him in regards to you. Whether the poor victim he hunts down is someone who would have been an actual threat to your life or is just someone who you seem to be too attached to is of no matter. He experiences a euphoric bloodlust whilst hunting his prey down as he displays a sadistic vein, enjoying the sight of them trembling in fear and begging for their life. Even more twisted is the fact that he tends to take his time when he is feeling especially sadistic, cutting his victims slowly down until they have either succumbed to their injuries or he got bored of them.
◻️​Technically he already exhibits a great influence over your life even whilst you are still living by yourself but as he wants complete submission from your side, you just have to wait for a bit until he finally makes the decision to relocate you somewhere else. He does it as he has always done everything in your life which is using force to have you comply with his demands. The new place you can call your home from that day on is isolated which reduces your social contact significantly and will also be installed with cameras and a security system so that you don't get any stupid ideas if he should be gone on missions. You still receive everything you need to survive and keep the house clean as he doesn't want to be your babysitter and whenever he returns to the place where you are stuck, he sort of expects from you to have taken care of the house in his absence.
◻️​He displays an extremely shitty and arrogant attitude around you where he isn't even scared to draw his sword against you if you should get on his nerves too much. Other members of the Varia definitely know you as he sometimes drags you along to show you off like a trophy, looking and sounding unusually proud as he shows you off and actually getting mad for your sake if someone else from the other assassins should insult you. That is only as long as you behave yourself because Squalo will punish you if you were to embarrass him in front of other members of Varia. He is actually willing to give you compliments if you happen to be exceptionally talented in something he deems as useful as he likes having something he can brag about to the Varia about you. He also expects getting a lot of compliments from you because of the pride he takes in himself. Don't try to insult him though because he will be quick to make you regret it.
Spanner
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🔧​Spanner is willing to betray his own side when it helps him to find out more about something he is interested in. Now crank that up a few notches and give him an obsession centered around his darling and you have yourself a prime example of an obsessed man. Spanner is very willing to break private rights and throw away commonly accepted morals if it helps him to find out more about you and whilst he is careful about not to betray the Millefiore, he is willing to lie to them to keep them away from your life as much as possible. Despite those actions he takes, he is actually quite good in deceiving you to see him as someone else. He just presents himself with a laid-back and chill exterior which manages to make you feel at ease around him. What you don't seem to notice for a long time is how he observes you as you let your guard down around him, gauging your every reaction with a keen interest.
🔧​He is an engineer and he is quite talented as well so obviously he is going to abuse the skills he has to spy on you even better. Whether he wires your house when you invite him over or even installs a tracker on your phone to always be able to know your exact location, he is not holding back. He in fact occasionally even causes some devices in your house to malfunction without your knowledge when he is in your house just to have you spend more time with him because he is always the one who offers to repair them for you when you complain to him that they aren't working properly anymore. If he considers his feelings and the actions he has chosen to take so far more carefully, he guesses that his interest in you might be quite unhealthy but somehow he is far too nonchalant to really care. He doesn't have any bad intentions after all and is actually even protecting you so it can't be that bad.
🔧​With the way he is installing the listening devices and at one point even tiny cameras in your house and tracks you down via your phone, it is safe to assume that he has a very good idea with whom you choose to spend your time with when either he or you don't have a chance to see each other. He thinks it is better that way because by being able to hack your phone or other technical devices, he always knows what is going on between you and others and it saves him from being worked up over nothing. There is very little chance for him to misunderstand the situation as he can constantly spy on you. He handles jealousy fairly composed in comparison to some other members but he is definitely going to have to know more about anyone who triggers such an emotion inside of him. He just likes to be prepared in case he has to interfere before they get any closer to you by being able to blackmail them a bit.
🔧​I'm pretty sure he is just going to invent something instead of killing someone with his own hands. It's not like he is just going after everyone's threat because he actually enjoys his peace and wouldn't want too much trouble in his life. Sometimes Spanner knows that he has to do something before something happens, especially if your own life is in any danger. Then he has of course also the option of asking Shoichi for help if your life should be in potential danger and he does use the influence of his friend at times. Other times he feels like he should be the one to make sure that your life is protected though because he is the one obsessed with you and then he just builds something to assist him in his task to protect you. He is uncomfortable with killing someone personally but this seems to be a different matter if he kills someone with one of his inventions and just watches from the sideline or from behind a monitor.
🔧​With the data he collects on you as time passes by, he has technically quite a bit he could use against you if he were to ever feel like forcing you. For some reason Spanner instead likes to savor the time he has with you right now as it is. The time where you don't know that he has cameras and listening devices in your home, has a tracker installed in your phone and has hacked into your laptop and phone already multiple times. He isn't as optimistic as to believe that it will all stay a secret forever though. After all life can always take an unexpected turn and so he starts thinking ahead how he should react and what he should do the moment you would find out about the people he works for as well as his own creepy behavior he has secretly done without your knowledge. He's sure he would have to restrict you within your life somehow, partially also to protect you from the Millefiore.
🔧​You are going to be given quite a few of his lollipops and depending on what your favorite flavor is, he will adjust his candies accordingly whenever he gifts you some. He will even shape them differently if you would ask him to do so. If we ignore the fact that he always sabotages your electronical advices to his own advantage, Spanner is actually quite helpful as well as useful in your life. He is an expert when it comes to everything electronical and next to fixing your stuff for free whenever he has time, he even builds you some devices to help you in your household. He's normally quite relaxed and just likes to lean back and listen to you instead as he is not a big talker and thinks that whatever you could tell him would be much more interesting over what he could talk about. Well, not like he can really talk about some of the activities he does in his daily life to you anyways unless he wants to scare you away by revealing that he has been spying on you.
Doctor Shamal
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🩺​´Shamal is a simp who is down bad for his darling and their gender doesn't even play a role in this case because will act even worse than he has already done with every other woman he has been trying to flirt with. It is highly likely that his darling thinks of it as nothing serious because Shamal is such a womanizer and has been flirting with a lot of people. You'd think that the doctor would assume so too, especially if his darling is biologically female. However, somehow Shamal has known that he feels differently for you after only meeting you one time. You are different and the fact that he feels something very special when he as much as thinks about you causes him to be quite clingy and obsessive as a reaction. He wants to be with you as much as he can and he will openly creep you out with it as he has no shame to follow you around in public and even wait for you in places he eventually comes to realise you tend to visit often. That or he's just standing in front of your door all of the time.
🩺​In Doctor Shamal's mind though, he doesn't see any of this as scary or creepy. Instead he goes down the delusional path as he is absolutely enraptured with you. He has fallen in love with someone for the first time and he just knows that his feelings for you will always be there and that he will from now on always be genuine when around you. So he makes absolutely no attempt to try to hold his feelings for you back as he showers you in presents and even tries to steal kisses from you even if you do not consent to it. He is downright reckless at times in his attempts to declare his love to you. If you lock the door and refuse to acknowledge how he is knocking on your door, it has happened that he has even climbed up the roof of another house or to your window to see you and to make you see him. As you can see, he really has no chill.
🩺​Struck with the attention-seeker-syndrome that he has, he will never be happy if you ignore him for someone else and you do it quite a lot. That's alright though, he likes how you try to play the tough game with him but he is still quite unhappy if you ignore his presence even if he is standing right next to you. You may hope that you will discourage him by doing so but instead you only fuel his passion as he sees it as a sign that he has to fight for you and prove to you that he is the right man to be your lover so in a way all people you rather spend your time with become his rivals. He is especially competitive against those who are neither family nor close friends of yours as he views them as love rivals. This all seems ridiculous and pathetic until he pulls out his mosquitoes to inflict someone with a harmless, but still severe disease because if they don't appear, you won't be able to ignore him.
🩺​All of his silliness aside you better keep in mind that this is a notrious assassin who was even offered a position in the Varia for his skills. The best and simultanously scariest part is that Shamal doesn't even have to do much to kill someone. He merely has to send one of his mosquitoes after his victim and then has to simply wait until they die from the deadly disease the insect has infected them with. He isn't a crazed doctor though so he at least doesn't let anyone around you drop dead within a day. His main motivation behind it is mainly that he doesn't want to push you into the depths of despair so we can argue about whether he is acting noble or not. He has no such problems if it concerns people who endanger your life or just don't treat you right as he can switch to a more cunning and serious side then. Everyone who doesn't respect you or even dares to hurt you will receive no mercy from him and he will get rid of such people quickly before they can pose a even bigger threat in your life.
🩺​Shamal is totally convinced that you two will live together later on. He has envisioned it all. You two will move in together, he will propose to you and then both of you will get married and be the sappiest and most lovely couple that people will have ever seen. You may not share those fantasies and dreams of his but it is not like you will ruin them for him anyways. There is going to be no competition to consider besides him anyways because all of them are battling with some tough diseases and as soon as they seem to recover, they are struck with the next illness. You see, you won't have any other choice besides him. That's alright though because he is the only one who can truly love and worship you as you deserve to be treated.
🩺​There is a potential where he could simply use his mosquitoes against you and weaken you to force you to rely on him but that is a more unlikely scenario. As indecent as he can be towards you at times, he genuinely doesn't intend any harm to come your way. Whilst he will openly admit that he enjoys it whenever you do come down with something and need his medical assistance to get better, he would never infect you with something. He can use the illnesses of others around you though to boost his image as he will offer you his assistance for free only to then take advantage of the debt you oew him after, even if he doesn't demand any money from you. You just feel too guilty to deny him some of his requests where he wants you two to spend some time together. He's going to praise you nearly all the time though for everything as your mere existence is wonderful.
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uncanny-tranny · 21 days
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I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.
Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.
Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.
"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.
That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.
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genderkoolaid · 1 year
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i think "nonbinary" can be useful but a lot of times the way it is being used isn't helpful to actually discussing nonbinary people, especially since it is a HUGE umbrella term with very few boundaries. like there are nonbinary men & women, so positioning "nonbinary" as something intrinsically separate from man/woman isn't accurate. or there are times where it would be more useful to name the specific group (like multigender people, androgynes, abinary/aphorians) rather than a much vaguer term
in general the problem is that our language to describe nonbinary existence is basically some scraps held together with duct tape. there's sooo many ways in which nonbinary people are erased or binaried through language. not just through the lack of gender neutral options but the la of blatantly genderqueer ones.
i kinda feel like as of right now, nonbinary-ness is pretty slapdash & all over the place and it would be helpful to have a large-scale discussion on what terminology would be best for discussing things like exorsexism and it's various aspects, and how to talk about nonbinary people without homogenizing us, while ALSO acknowledging the need for umbrella terms that can cover a range of individual identities, even if people don't personally identify with the umbrella term itself. & on that note we should also probably discuss the issue of. like. perfectionism wrt nonbinary language & the way that potentially useful terms get lost bc of it. I don't think nonbinary people can really achieve meaningful equality and inclusion on the same level until we are able to have equally diverse and useful ways of describing ourselves, and a stronger understanding of how we relate to each other as a community.
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fluss-kollektiv · 2 months
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I don't trust people who say things like "afab experience" because in most cases they actually mean "white, perfectly perisex afab experience" and even then, it's too specific.
Because I'm not white, so I never got the "weak little girl" thing. I wasn't white feminine enough, even though I was quite feminine as a child.
And while I don't consider myself intersex, my body has produced more testosterone than would be the normal range for someone going through a "female" puberty ever since I was going through puberty. Definitely not enough for it to have strong masculinizing effects, it's just also quite androgynous in an additive way.
I do not feel represented by most things that people are talking about like it's "universal" for "afab" individuals, while both being "afab" and having gone through "female" puberty.
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bluebeetle · 1 year
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revealing that the nashville shooter is supposedly transgender, without revealing what gender they id as or any other information other than that, being a former student, and a name... absolutely evil, because it allows people to construct their own narratives and this is going to mean so many awful people blaming the entire trans community (and assuming the shooter is a trans woman bc transmisogyny)
(edit: i wrote this rly early in the morning when reading the news, see tags and notes for more thoughts ig cuz im making this unrebloggable bc transphobes r annoying)
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undead-potatoes · 1 month
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Nothing makes it quite so clear this world is not made for you than trying to look for clothes and discovering the biggest "plus" size anyone offers is still 4 sizes too small for you
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bandzboy · 2 months
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i could make an essay about how people immediately perceive introvert idols who don't talk or interact that much as rude or cold bc i've seen it happen so many times and as someone who is introverted i get annoyed bc i know first hand what that is 😭
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iamthemaestro · 3 months
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shout out to trans people who don't change their names. we are operating on a level of Gender cis people cannot comprehend. more boys with girl names and more girls with boy names please and thank you
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vieraslaji · 6 months
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status: suuria määriä homeisen leivän keräämässä
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lilalilan · 1 year
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There's just something kind of lonely about being trans in a way that doesn't line up with the mainstream narratives about transness
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uwussy · 1 year
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fat people aren’t promoting an unhealthy lifestyle by loving themselves and speaking out against fat hate.
like it’s insane to me that just existing and pointing out that there is an unprecedented hatred of fat people makes other people want to step in and say “you can’t promote an unhealthy lifestyle!”
meanwhile these same people fall silent on roid/lifting blogs, ana blogs, meth/crack blogs, and other blogs where people actually glamorize things that kill you hell of a lot quicker than having body fat.
it’s like we can’t stand up for ourselves, be happy with ourselves, or even exist really, without some 2 dimensional person coming out of the woodwork to let us know they don’t like it. well too fucking bad lol
anyone who tries try to say that fat people are “promoting an unhealthy lifestyle” just by existing and not hating themselves is promoting an ignorant and inconsiderate lifestyle and that’s worse imo
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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I love trans people whose transness means that their sexuality is complex. I love trans people who adopt contradictory labels. I love transmasculine people who still have ties to old lesbian spaces and transfeminine people who still have ties to gay spaces (even if they themselves aren't lesbian or gay). I love trans people whose dysphoria has put them at a place where they don't want to engage with any type of sexuality. I love trans people who are confused, unsure, or questioning. I love trans people who toe the lines of queerness. I love trans people who are unapologetically embracing their sexualities. I love trans people who are working through internalized shame about their sexualities.
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