#it’s mostly yea i’m hot yea i look good type of vibe

[cornsobsessions]

today’s gender: looking in the mirror at the gym, sweaty af, face like a tomato, feeling pretty

#idk man #also first time in a while i’ve been like yea i’m pretty #it’s mostly yea i’m hot yea i look good type of vibe #anyways #corn rambles

[rxsie-the-demon]

Brooklyn Baby | JJ Maybank

SERIES MASTERLIST | chapter one 

chapter summary: Nikki goes out of her comfort zone and bonds with Kie, while still remaining curious about what happened last summer. At a party, Topper gets a little too touchy, and Nikki (surprisingly) befriends Rafe and Wheezie.

warnings: drinking, smoking, HARD DRUGS, swearing (oops), HARRASSMENT (topper gets VERY touchy) so if that makes u uncomfy just skim over that, and a conversation about addiction/rehab and therapy

word count: 5029

Chapter 2: Cinnamon Girl

If I had to choose, B Days would be my least favorite. On B days, I have no classes with anyone I know, except English with Kelce at the end of the day.

And no one to sit with at lunch.

On my second day of school, when I realized I had no one to sit with, I ate in the library. You’re allowed to, so long as you clean up after yourself and stuff.

Walking into the huge cafeteria, with clean white titles and those long foldable school tables, I decided to do the same thing today; just sit in the library by myself, and maybe read or shop online, The tall walls of the cafeteria were decorated with motivational quotes and the school’s athletic accomplishments.

But when I was walking towards the lunch line, I saw Kiara sitting by herself out of the corner of my eye, head down on the table. Which made me feel really, really sad for her.

I stood in line quietly, AirPods in my ears, scrolling through Instagram when I found Kiara’s page. I didn’t want to seem like a stalker, but my curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on it.

Her page reminded me of this social activist that I follow that of a social activist I follow, the difference being that Kiara’s page was mostly environment-focused, with the occasional selfie and pics of her friends.

Clicking on one of her them, a selfie with her and her four friends on a boat during sunset, I saw a slightly sunburned brunet with his arm wrapped around one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. She’s probably a TikToker, I thought. Sunburn had a dark blue bandana wrapped around his neck and had his shirt unbuttoned. Major surfer boy vibes. 

Next to Tiktok, was Kiara, with bright eyes and a bright smile. Completely different from the girl who sits behind me in APUSH. The boy next to Kiara had dark skin and curly hair. He was wearing a hat, like Sunburn and the other boy next to him. And judging from the way his arm was around her waist, Hat totally had a thing for Kiara.

But the last boy, holy shit, if I thought Sunburn was cute, Hot Blonde Boy was another level. He was the one taking the picture, with one arm stretched out to hold the phone and the other one, covered shiny rings, was posing with, like, the rock hand sign? I think that’s what it’s called: with his index and pink fingers up, and the rest like they’d be balled in a fist. His messy blonde hair was being held together by a red snapback, and he was shirtless except for his shark tooth necklace. His tan went well with his bright, energetic eyes and big smile but...oh my gosh. His hands. They were big, with long fingers, and his arms were a little veiny and-

I put my phone away. Nuh-uh, I’m not going to be thirsting over a random guy’s hands, especially when that guy could literally be dead, or worse, the crazy dude who tried to shoot Topper.

Not that I don’t understand why someone would want to shoot Topper.

I grabbed my tray, putting a Chicken Caesar salad bowl (yum), a bowl of grapes (double yum), and a water bottle onto my tray. Remembering that Kiara didn’t have any food with her, I grabbed a hamburger, too.

I paid for my food and walked towards the utensil holder, debating whether or not I should just go to the library or sit with Kiara. I mean, I should sit with her, she’s by herself and is going through a hard time, but then again, I hardly know her. Besides exchanging numbers with her yesterday and not even texting her, I never interacted with the girl. She’ll probably think I’m just talking to her to get tea for Topper and Scarlet.

But then again, I already bought her a hamburger.

I walked over to her table. She was wearing a similar outfit as she was yesterday, the only difference being she was wearing light blue jeans. So, yay? A bit of color?

I sat down across from her and put my tray down quietly, not wanting to scare her. “Hey.”

Her head shot up immediately. Her soft brown eyes looked so tired, her light brown skin looking ashy and dull. Her dark brown hair, with it’s nice, defined beach wave curls, was tied back in a bun in her hood. When she saw who it was, her face softened. “Oh, hi.”

“I hope it’s ok I’m sitting with you, I don’t know anyone else in this lunch and I thought it’d be good to discuss our project.” I waved my hands around a bit before opening the plastic lid of my salad.

She nodded, eyeing my food for a second.

My heart hurt. Of course, she has the money to buy food, that’s not the issue. She probably hasn’t been eating out of grief.

“So I’m Indian, duh,” I waved my hand in front of my face and she smiled softly, “and I thought this was a chicken burger, but it’s beef. And I can’t eat beef, because, ya know, Hindus don’t eat beef. So, like, could you do me a solid and eat this for me? I hate wasting food and I’d feel awful if I threw it out.” I slid the burger towards her.

She nodded, pulling it towards her and taking a small bite.

I poured my croutons into my salad and started quietly eating when I heard Kiara mumble, “Thank you.”

I glanced up at her for a second, only to look back down. “Don’t thank me. I bought that on accident.”

“I saw you staring at me in line. And...I haven’t eaten in the past two days.”

I looked back at Kiara, who was looking everywhere but me. I decided to just ask.

“It’s because of what happened to your friends, right? You’re mourning?”

She nodded, still not looking at me.

“I understand. Grief isn’t something that has, like, a definitive answer. You just gotta let it run its course,” I said, putting my hand in front of my mouth because I was chewing.

Kiara nodded again and took another bite, a bigger one this time. I mentally high-fived myself for getting her to eat. I didn’t think it’d work.

“So, what do you want to do for the project?” I asked.

Kiara shrugged. “We could do current events. Maybe something environment related?”

“Like, an advertisement? We make a video talking about pollution or something?”

“Yeah! Or maybe we could organize something and get a bunch of people to come together and, like, clean up the beach?”

“Or we could go out on boats and find trash in the ocean?”

“That too!” Kiara’s eyes were shining now, and she was smiling. Wide. Much like the girl whose Instagram I was stalking.

“Sweet. Ok, so, the environment is one thing, do we have any other ideas? Like, isn’t the Outer Banks also famous for shipwrecks or something? I heard The Royal Merchant sank here. Maybe we could do a project on that?”

Kiara stiffened up when I mentioned shipwrecks. Did I say something wrong? 

Shit. Her friends died at sea, how could I be so stupid?

“That’s...not a bad idea, actually. I happen to know a lot about The Royal Merchant. More than I want to know, actually,” She chuckled. She looked down at her hands, and then looked back up. “John B, my friend who died at sea over the summer, he and his dad were obsessed with finding it. We actually-,” she leaned closer to me. “We actually found it. But, uh, the gold isn’t there.”

My eyes went wide. I leaned forward, too. “Well, where is the gold then? Do you know?”

Kiara nodded. “In the Bahamas.”

“How the f- How did it get there, if the shipwreck happened here and no one knew where it was until you and your Pogue friends found it?”

She sighed. “Long story. I’ll tell you another day.”

“Wait-”

The lunch bell rang. I sighed as we stood up and grabbed our bags, walking towards the doors to leave for class. I really want to know how the gold ended up in the Bahamas.

“Well, thanks for lunch, Nikki!”

“Of course, Kiara, that’s what friends are for,” I smiled.

Kiara beamed. “Call me Kie.”

I was overjoyed. A friend. A real, actual friend. “Kie. Fantastic. Hey, Kie, do you know anyone named Rafe by any chance?”

Kie narrowed her eyes. “Yea, why?”

“Oh, nothing, I was just invited to his birthday party this Saturday.”

Kie rolled her eyes. “Be careful around him, ok? Talk to you later!”

“Uh, bye!”

************************************************

Yellow, or blue?

I held both dresses up to myself, looking in the mirror.

Saturday came, and it was time for Rafe’s party.

The party starts at 9 and was gonna last all night, but Topper wanted to take me out to eat, so at 7:30, I’m still deciding which dress to wear.

Both dresses are sundresses, short, flowy with shirred backs and knotted straps. They are literally the same dress, down to the little polka dots, just in different colors. I could wear either one, because I kept my makeup simple: concealer, nude eye shadow, mascara, and clear lip gloss.

I texted Kiara, asking her to choose a color, to which she responded yellow. We managed to get really close in just three days, which made me happy, because I felt that she was my only real friend at school, and, well, I was her only friend there.

I slipped the dress on and matched it with my white Birkenstocks. I went over to my dresser table (yes I have two mirrors in my room, sue me) and put on my white tassel fringe earrings. I kept my ‘Om’ necklace on.

I admired myself. My light brown skin looks good with the yellow and white, and my jet black hair, which I decided to not straighten, had slight waves, and reached my shoulders. I look like a rich, beach girl. A Kook, I suppose.

I grabbed my phone, taking a quick mirror selfie and snapping it to Topper, captioned ‘i’m readyyy’. He opened it immediately.

‘Damnn u look hot,’ he typed out. Ew.

‘aw ty,’ I typed back. ‘where r u?’

‘I’m omw. U have ur bag? The party’s on a yacht and there’ll be a pool.’

‘swim suit’s packed’

‘Fantastic. I’ll be there soon.’

I locked my phone, putting it into my purple and black NYU drawstring bag that also held my black bikini and a towel. I grabbed the bag hopped down the stairs.

Mallory and Krish, my sister-in-law and brother, were sitting on the couch, watching TV. 

“Hey losers. My friend’s gonna be here any minute to pick me up.”

Mallory turned to face me, smiling. “Aw, you look cute! Have fun, and be safe, ok?”

“If you’re gonna be coming in, like, super late,” Krish added, not taking his eyes off the TV, “try to be as quiet as possible. Diya is a really light sleeper.”

Diya, my 5-month-old niece, made baby sounds. I took a couple steps forward and saw she was spread out on the floor, in her fluffy pink blanket, chewing on her gloved hands. I waved at her.

“Don’t worry, if I wake her up, I’ll take care of her. I don’t plan on drinking or smoking or anything tonight. Well, maybe drinking, but that’s it.”

They laughed. “Ok, ok, just have fun,” Mal said.

I sat on the floor, playing with Diya, until 7:50, when the doorbell rang, revealing Topper, wearing a black button-down shirt that was rolled up to his elbows (bless), Air Force 1s, ripped jeans, and a Gucci belt.

He smiled. “Ready to go?”

I smiled back. “Yep.” I turned to face Krish and Mal. “Bye Mom, bye Dad!”

“Bye, hun!” Mallory called out. They smiled and Top, too, and waved.

I closed the door and left, and Topper grabbed my hand to lead me to the car. “Sorry, I’d have introduced you to my parents, but they were too busy, like, ogling at my baby sister,” I half lied.

Topper laughed, “No worries. I’ll have plenty of chances to meet them, I hope?”

I smiled. “Yep, I hope so too.”

A complete lie.

******************************************

Dinner with Topper was...interesting. Instead of taking me to some fancy restaurant or whatever, he took me to this cute little diner closer to the beach, but not close to The Cut, according to him. “There are a bunch of restaurants here in the Banks,” he had said. “But not a lot of people know about this one. That’s why it’s my favorite.” He winked, and I nearly vomited in my mouth.

The place was real old-timey, with the little booths and a jukebox. We had burgers and shared a plate of fries and a milkshake. And honestly? It would’ve been really romantic if I actually liked Topper like that.

Don’t get me wrong, Topper is hot. He’s sweet to me, like cotton candy sweet, and really affectionate. I love touchy boys (consensual, of course, or they get their shit rocked), but he’s always grabbing my hand and playing with my hair. Which would be fine, but I barely know him.

And ever since he admitted to drowning that John B kid, whatever potential feelings I had just...disappeared. That paired with his Holier-than-thou attitude and his blatant classism makes him everything I would hate in a person, let alone a potential boyfriend.

Besides, I know the real reason he’s flirting with me. The Kook King of High School needs a Queen, and with his ex gone, everyone wants me to step into that role. Any other time, I’d be happy to be That Girl. But something just feels wrong about this.

Lots of people have told me I remind them of Sarah, apparently because she, too, was a bit of a social activist and an environmental freak (no wonder her and Kie were friends) which just confirms the fact that I’m just a replacement.

But, besides Kie, I have no other friends at OBX High. I have no choice but to go with it.

Driving close to the dock, I could hear loud music playing from somewhere. Leaning forward, I saw the yachts, one of them in particular already pretty full of people and neon lights.

“Yeah, Rafe tends to go all out on parties,” Topper remarked, gesturing towards the boats as he parked. “But they’re always fun.”

I nodded, plastering on a smile. I grabbed his hand. “Fantastic. Lead the way.”

**********************************************

Ok, I have to hand it to OBX kids. They know how to get turnt.

At 9:30, the yacht left the dock and headed towards the sea. By 10, the party was in full form, with kids dancing, singing, swimming, smoking, drinking, everything!

It was a glorious mess.

Right now it’s 10:30, and I’d been dancing with Top when we decided to go get something to drink.

We went to the bar and I told Topper to just one of whatever he was drinking for me, so he got two Mai Tais. The bartender looked really worried, because, you know, more than half the kids at this party are underaged, so I slipped him a 50 for his troubles.

Top and I walked away, laughing at the bartender’s confused face. The familiar feeling of alcohol started to wash

We walked around and talked about life and the universe, and when we finished our drinks, we went to the deck.

I leaned onto the railing, staring into the ocean.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I asked softly. Growing up in Brooklyn Heights, I was never one for the ocean. I mean, sure, there were beaches an hour or two away from my old home that I visited often, but I was always a city girl. But this, this was something else entirely. The way the pale, white moonlight shined on the dark blue ocean, it was comforting, almost.

“Yeah,” Topper whispered back, wrapping his arm around my cold body, “really is beautiful.” I turned and saw him staring at me, smiling just a tiny bit. I shoved him lightly.

“You’re so corny,” I laughed.

“Maybe, but I made you smile, didn’t I?”

“...Shut up.”

We laughed, and he wrapped both arms around me and pulled me close to him. I stiffened a bit. Calm down, Nikki. It’s not that big a deal. But it is. I hate leading people on and I hated that he was always touching me.

I snuck my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. I’m short, I’ll admit it, standing at a towering five foot four with my two-inch platforms. Topper, on the other hand, is six feet tall, so my head tucked in just underneath his.

We stayed like that for a bit, swaying softly to some pop song. I felt myself relaxing, but I knew it wouldn’t last long.

“Hey, Nikki?”

“Yeah?”

“I, uh, I really like you.”

I pulled back and looked at Topper, who was fidgeting with my hair, and I narrowed my eyes “Wait, actually?”.

I hope he’s joking. He’s known me for less than a week! I mean, sure, you can have an instinct attraction to someone, yadda yadda, and maybe he wants to get to know me better, or whatever. Fine. 

Maybe it’s because I don’t like him that, but I find his declaration of feelings a little ridiculous.

“Yea, I do. I know we just met, but I really want to get to know you more. No, I’m not asking you out...unless you want to date, that is, but I feel insanely attracted to you.” He brushed his hair back nervously.

I could reject Topper, and risk my popularity and social standing. It could end up well, it could end up terribly. But if I say I like him back, which is a lie, I guarantee my place as the most popular girl in the Outer Banks.

I place my right hand on his shoulder and my left hand on his cheek. Standing on my toes, I gently guide his face to mine.

As I close my eyes, I imagine that I’m not about to kiss Topper, but Hot Blonde Boy from Kie’s Instagram.

His lips are soft, really soft, and Top’s hands drop to my waist to pull me closer to him.

After we pull away, he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear and gently kisses my forehead.

“I like you too, Top,” I lied, “but I don’t want to rush into anything. We just met, and I’ve rushed into things before, and they never ended well, and-”

“Hey, hey, I get it,” he takes his hand to my chin and lifts it up so that I’m looking at him instead of the floor. “We can go as slow as you like, all right?”

I smile and nod. Top cups my face in his hands, and right before he can kiss me, I pull away and say, “Let’s go swimming! I’m going to go change, ok?”

He nods, ruffling his hair. I turn, pulling my phone out from my duffel bag and sending a text to Kie.

‘sos i just kissed topper.’

I walk into one of the changing rooms and change into my bikini. As I’m stuffing my dress into my bag, I see I get a text back.

‘dumbass!!’

**********************************************

Apparently, when I said I wanted to go swimming, it translated to yeeting me into the pool and then jumping in after, and then us splashing each other, non-stop. I mean, I guess that is what you do at a pool party, but I have no idea. Usually, I just stand around and eat food and, you know, don’t actually go into the water.

It was fun and all, yea, but I was uncomfortable the entire time because he couldn’t- no, wouldn’t- keep his hands off of me.

After it became too much, I jumped out of the pool and sat down on one of the chairs, wrapped my towel around myself and feeling really uncomfortable. Topper climbed out after me and sat down at my feet. “Did I, uh, do something?”

Yeah, you won’t stop touching me, bro.

“No, no, it’s fine, I just got a bit claustrophobic, that’s all.” I checked the time on my phone. I had an idea. “Hey, I’m going to go find Kelce and Scarlet, ok?”

“Uh, sure, do you want me to come with you?”

Not really, no. “Uh, if you want, but I was just gonna have, like, a girl’s talk with Scarlet?”

Topper nodded and smiled. I stood up, shoved my towel into my bag, slipped my shoes on, and ran off.

I felt a little weird just walking around in a bikini, especially since I don’t know anyone here, but remembering that everyone else was just as scantily clad as I was made me feel a little better.

I went to the highest deck, where the eldest kids (and by kids I mean like seniors and 20-year-olds), hoping to find Kelce or Scarlet there because I hadn’t seen them anywhere else. But I couldn’t see them on the deck.

I walked around a bit and then decided to text Scarlet.

‘where are you?’

I got a text back immediately. ‘Top deck, near the front. I’m with the little kid.’

Little kid? I walked towards the front side of the ship and indeed saw Scarlet, wearing a dark red colored bikini, sitting in a lounging chair with a girl who looks like she’s in middle school. The kid was pale, with freckles, dark hair, and glasses. She was the only one at this point not wearing a bathing suit.

Why is there a kid here?

I sat down in the seat next to Scarlet and gave her a hug. “Hey!” I slipped my bag off my shoulders and leaned forward to face the young girl. “Hi. What’s your name?”

She smiled. “I’m Wheezie. My brother’s the birthday boy.”

“Wheezie?”

“It’s a nickname, my real name is- Oh, hey, Topper!”

I spun around. Topper was standing in front of me, arms angrily crossed over his bare chest. “Hey, Wheezie. Nikki, can I talk to you?”

“I’m enjoying the company of my new friend.” I gestured over to Wheezie.

“Yeah, well, I want to talk.” He roughly grabbed my wrist and yanked me up.

“Ok, jeez, lemme grab my bag.” I pulled myself from his grasp and turned around to grab my bag. Scarlet mouthed the words be careful, to me. I nodded.

“Bye, Nikki, it was nice to meet you!” Wheezie called out. I shouted pleasantries back. Topper grabbed my wrist again.

After dragging me halfway across the deck, he let go of me and turned around. “What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?! What’s wrong with you?! You’re the one who, one, won’t stop touching even though we’re not dating and we barely know each other, and two, literally dragged me away from my friends when I was having a conversation with them! Are you like this with all the girls you like? Huh? Maybe that’s why your girlfriend left you for some Pogue, not because Pogues steal things, but because you-” I stepped forward and shoved Topper, “-don’t know how to treat a girl, no, a person, with respect!”

I stopped talking and realized that a lot of people had gone quiet. My face flushed with embarrassment until I heard someone shout.

“WOO! You tell him, Nikki!”

I turned and saw Scarlet and Wheezie jumping up and down and clapping. Soon, all the girls (and some of the boys) around me were clapping and cheering for me, congratulating me and telling Topper that he’s a dick.

I stepped towards Topper. “You and me, whatever thing you think we had going on, it’s done.”

I turned around and beckoned Wheezie and Scarlet to sit back down with me on the deck. The partying resumed, and I went off chatting with the two girls, but I saw out of the corner of my eye that Topper was getting all huffy and puffy.

I pointed that out to the girls. “Should I be worried?”

Wheezie wheezed laughed. “He’s probably just going to call Rafe and get him to tell you off.”

“...He’s gonna get the host of the party, who I don’t know and never met, to yell at me? Fantastic. Good thing he’s your brother.”

“Technically half brother, but yes, a good thing. Oh look, there he is right now!”

I turned around and saw Topper marching towards me with another equally tall, equally blonde boy right behind him. The difference is, this boy didn’t have as much of a hostile aura as Topper has right now.

“So, which one of you embarrassed my boy Top?”

************************************************

The boy, who introduced himself as Rafe, the host, beckoned Scarlet, Topper, and I inside of his suite. He closed the door on Wheezie, though. Bummer. I liked her.

Inside his suite were a bunch of twenty-year-olds, drinking hard liquor, dancing, and sitting around this big table. Rafe took his seat in the middle, told everyone else around him to fuck off, and had us, except Topper, sit across from him. Topper took the seat to his right.

He offered us a bag of white powder, to which Scarlet and I declined. Topper took it, though, and started setting it up to use.

“You use coke?” I asked Topper in disgust. I have nothing against most drugs, like weed or psychedelics, which can be fun to use sparingly at parties or whatever, but not hard drugs like opioids.

Topper shrugged at my question. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal. What the fuck is wrong with y-?!”

“Ok, no fighting at my party, please?” Rafe sighed, rubbing his temples. “I brought you guys inside so that everyone else can enjoy the party while you guys have your little marital dispute-”

“WE’RE NOT DATING!” I shouted.

“Whatever,” Rafe sighed.

I stood up. “I’m gonna go hang with Wheezie. Scarlet, you coming?”

She was about to respond when Rafe stood up and said, “I’ll join you.”

I shot a confused look at Scarlet, who just shrugged.

I slipped my bag over my shoulder and walked towards the door, which Rafe held open for me, and we stepped outside, the air making me shiver.

Rafe pulled a pack of Dunhill cigarettes out of his pocket, put one to his mouth, and lights it. He gestured the box towards me and I take one, leaning forward a bit so that he could light it for me.

I rest my arms on the railing and close my eyes, breathing in the burning smoke and exhaling it slowly, being submerged in the light-headed haze of nicotine.

“How old are you?” Rafe’s voice interrupts my zen. I open my eyes and look at the boy, who’s very obviously checking out my bikini covered body.

I laughed and took another drag. “Sixteen,” I exhaled the smoke from my mouth.

Rafe’s eyes went wide, and he turned back to the sea. “Oh shit. My bad. Uh...how’re you liking the party?”

“It’s pretty good. Besides, you know, Topper being Topper, and you forcing me to talk to him.”

Rafe laughed. “Yea, I didn’t mean anything by it. I have a reputation of being a prick, and I’m trying to be better but, you know, not a lot of people respect you when you go from being a douche to a nice guy.”

I nodded, understanding what he meant by that. “Reputation with friends?”

He laughed. “Just,” he waved his hand free hand around, “Everyone. I wasn’t a good person. I’m trying to be better, but it’s hard when everyone already expects me to act a certain way and don’t give me a chance to change.”

I noticed the rings on his hands, like that boy from Kie’s Instagram. But unlike Hot Blondie, Rafe’s too old for me.

Which leads me to wonder…

“Did you know Sarah Cameron, by any chance?” I asked.

Rafe’s eyes went wide, and then he started coughing up smoke.

“W-Why do you ask?” He stammers, still coughing.

I gave him a weird look and just shrugged. “Curious, I guess.” I looked back at the ocean. “I’m the new girl, and everyone keeps telling me about all this stuff, but won’t tell me what actually happened, and I dunno, I’m just so confused.”

I turned to face Rafe, who was looking away, and I think I saw tears forming in his eyes. “Yea, Sarah’s my sister.”

Now it was my turn to cough up smoke. “W-”-cough cough- “Wait”-cough cough- “a minute.” I gasp for air and continue coughing. And after I finally manage to get some oxygen into my lungs, I say, “Sarah Cameron’s your sister? Shit, I’m so sorry, Topper never told me.”

Rafe shrugged, fiddling around with his rings. “It’s alright, I was just...surprised. No one asks me about Sarah or the Pogues anymore. After I came back from rehab-” He stopped, probably because he didn’t mean to say that, but he continued, “After I came back from rehab, I just...stopped beefing with the Pogues, especially JJ, Kie, and Pope. You know them?”

I nodded. “I know Kie, we’re friends. But not JJ and Pope. Never met ‘em, don’t even know what they look like, yet I’ve heard so many things about them.”

Rafe nodded. “They’re not bad kids, really. My time away made me realize how much of a prick I’ve been to them. Like, I caused them a lot of pain, and for what? For nothing. Literally just because I thought that, because they were poorer than us, they weren’t as good as us.”

I nodded. Then I turned and smiled, and stretched out my hand. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Rafe Cameron.”

He smiled and shook back.

_______________________________

chapter three

#obx fic #obx #obx fanfic #outerbanks #jj maybank #jj fluff #jj angst #jj x reader #john b #john b x sarah #obx kiara #obx pope #rafe cameron #topper obx

[fandomscombine]

Friday. 18 October 2019

The day I came out to my sister.

Like I would have girl crushes, but it was mostly to famous people and celebs that didn’t know I exist. Plus my crushes don’t last that long. (Again due to that fact they don’t know I exist)

But during this summer, I started to have this massive crush on my classmate and boi did I feel intense waves of crush through these past few months. (And we and 2 other mates went travelling around Europe for 1.5 months. She was my roommate and Oh My Gosh, it was hard keeping it together. I know  don’t think that’s ever gonna happen, I during some times I could sense her liking other girls, which I became kinda jealous and hurt, cause I felt like I was 3rd wheeling sometimes)

[Also my hair during the summer basically turned into the Bi flag color scheme, just in the mixed order. I wanted my hair colored purple, but due to a home dye job before, I ended up with a pink middle bar run across my hair. It was Blue-Pink-Purple hair, though I did pull the look off] So I’m kinda considering that “accident” as a foreshadowing/sign on me having the courage to accept and let someone else know.]

Anyway, How this all come to be was me just wanting to talk to someone and have no misconceptions on Why that fuck I can’t shut up about this girl and how cute she is. [Like seriously, people should have notice by now, but I guess it wouldn’t cross their mind about this as I do tend to overshare experience when talking about anything and everything. LIKE NOW LMAO]

Basically my face when I’m crushing hard:

So yea, I just wanted to freely talk about my crush, which as of late I have been crazy about her and my boi Cisco Ramon from The Flash and also extend to Carlos Valdes. 

Like I did love Cisco ever since The Flash premiered, He was the funny nerdy, geeky guy who loves making movie references. [Yep, hot cute nerds/geek characters are my type] And I relate to him on a spiritual level. My friends even nicknamed me “Cisco”. But something triggered this past week. And I saw him in a different light. A good quality boyfriend material, my fictional boyfriend kinda ~vibe~ (see what I did there!) 

(How could you NOT have a crush on Cisco, just look at that adorkable face + lovable personality)

Okay I swear this is the end of my mind going off topic but not really! haha peace out!

#mine #personal #bi #came out #bisexual

[sammyspreadyourwings]

Oh i definitely would like to see some explanations for the superpower/super natural creatures choices you made! I love them all i think they fit so well. When i think abt this “au” i often choose these too lmao

You Nonnie are also on my list of favorite Anons

You’ve opened the can of world building and I’m Hype. Thank you for asking!

For those of you that Haven’t experienced it, I tend to start out normally and then change format six times through and yea

Powers

Roger - Converting Sound to Light (as Dazzler) / Sonic Screaming (as Songbird or Black Canary)

I think the sonic screaming is self-explanatory because of the falsetto and Lap of the Gods

Why I gave him sound to light is mostly because to me he’s the brightest aura in the band. It’s a rad as hell power too

Combined it makes for a fairly devasting fighting combination or a really neat concert light show

Brian - Reality Warping (as Scarlet Witch) or Hard Light Constructs (as Green Lantern

because he’s a space nerd

I honestly couldn’t decide which to give him after considering it but explanations for both

Reality Warping has a lot to do with probabilities and knowing how the laws operate around reality as to not break it and as an astrophysicist, he would have a good chance of being able to master it

Hard Light Constructs this power is entirely based on creativity, which Brian does have a lot of, and I have a feeling that he’d use it more as an educational tool

“You understand?” “Not at all.” “okay here’s a diagram” “oh that makes more sense”

Lights at concerts

John - Shapeshifting (as Mystique) / Telepathy (as Jean Gray)

So I honestly picked telepathy because I have a feeling he’s the type of guy to say something you were just thinking

Also, that way he knows what to say/what not to say and why when they were fighting we got the infamous quote “could make you want to curl up and die in two sentences”

He just shapeshifts his hair ngl

but you always have the stories of John being on the tube and no one going “hey isn’t that world-famous bassist John Deacon” so he shifts his features enough that it still looks like him but not exactly like him to get places without being unnoticed

Going to be sad but sometimes in a particular rare mood he’ll shapeshift back to his form 1973 and play his bass while remembering the good times

Freddie - Empathy / Luck (as Domino) / Flight (as Superman)

So Freddie always seems to understand others emotions

During Hot Space Brian was outwardly angry and argumentive but he likely had doubts about his place in the band because the guitar was being used less and less

Freddie could tell he’s actually worn down and saddened

Queue Soul Brother and the Guitar track

But most of the time he just uses it to push the others buttons

Dude is lucky

Right place and right time to form the worlds greatest rock band

His voice?

And also just little random thing throughout the day

Flight

He uses it mostly for stage acts

but he always feels like he’s flying when he performing so it works out

and I was listening to Don’t Stop Me Now

Supernatural Creatures

Okay so again this is going off a very faint AU I have bouncing around in my head.

Freddie - Siren aka Music Dryad

Okay so Music Dryads operate like sirens as in their voices lure people to follow them, but unlike Sirens, they just do it because they like to sing

Which if you’re a Queen fan, do you ever not sing along?

But also they’re very unconcerned with the ways of humans, but the few humans/creatures that they are, they are extremely loyal too 

John - Fairy

In the AU he’s human because of the plot but for the sake of talking points 

Fairies are known to be mischevious but occasionally very helpful

John is chaotic energy

Like fairies, he can be the best thing with gifts of songs and foods and flower crowns

And also like fairies, he can be a curse with harsh words and chaotic damages

His face just gives me the impression of a little imp but not in a bad way

Brian - Werewolf

Fluffy forest boy

Honestly, it was the hair that gave me the impression originally, but

He’s a person deeply involved in nature and preserving it

Brian is connected to the people he cares about similar to how a wolf pack operates

You know how werewolves are always sad b/c they’re cursed? Brian, judging by a few personal stories and his songs, tends to default to sadness

Roger - Vampire

sex machine ready to reload

Dude gives off the eternal youth vibe

Kind of concerned with the world, but not enough to directly influence it

he wants people to pay attention to the injustices but he’s just a musician so he’s going to sing about them

He keeps his inner circle close, but it’s easy to get into it because he really does love humanity

I have a weird take of vampires

Charms most, if not all, people he meets 

#ask #my world building #long post #hehhs that was the tag I was forgetting #I had to stop myself from going into the supernatural AU world #because well #no body has time for that #Anonymous

[cruzrogue]

Triple Smoak Effect

Summary

Takes place sometime after season 2. (AU of course)

For a few hours Felicity is divided into her three versions of herself… Past, present, and future. A ficlet about how much I adore this picture by @cherchersketch

 Triple Smoak Effect

(Small ficlet) on A03

 Oliver Queen didn’t know what to make of the word Meta-human. To him it just doesn’t sit right even with everything that has happened to him since his lost voyage on the Gambit. He’s seen things and experienced more than his fair share of crazy intense moments. He should have known the universe is yet to be tired of playing with him in ways he can never truly understand. He feels if there is a higher power than he is the butt of many jokes.

He watches in complete shock as his Felicity is being transformed before his very eyes. How his arrow deflected the ray meant for him as he tries to shield her and with some really bad luck it hits a mirrored surface only to hit her full force.

He makes short work of knocking the crazy villain down as John secures the man who Oliver wants to crack open with his fists for endangering the woman who means the world to him but as both men tend to the meta they are startled to see that their girl is dividing into three different versions of herself.

The rogue snickers as he watches everything unfold. He actually laughs at the scene. His powers mostly humdrum but with this new trick its impressive as he finds some wickedness in future endeavors. “I like the dark badass one she looks like my type…” he doesn’t finish as John knocks him out. Oliver is to stunned to even care what the creep is saying.

“Yea, honey. I’m way too good for your sorry existence.” She looking down at the unconscious man with just a load of apathy.

John Diggle can be a surprised with many things in life but seeing a spitfire version of Felicity is a topper. Noticing the pink-tips of dyed hair Felicity’s version just looking at the criminal like she’s seen him before and being quite comfortable in this setting. It must totally mean she’s been around where these crazy moments don’t faze her. With her unconsciously moving a small golden band on her ring finger he can take a wild guess that she’s married. He wonders the implications of having these different Felicitys, do they represent milestones in her life? So many questions and it may be time to get started with finding some answers.

“Okay ladies, I mean Felicity.” John Diggle starts the process of figuring out what is happening “How do you feel?”

In unison they all speak at once and both Oliver and John look at one another.

“So, the universal word of fine. Okay then. You all just feel fine?” John shakes his head as these three ladies nod in confirmation. Oliver’s eyes darting between each woman but always landing on the one he considers his standard Felicity.

                                          {}{}{}{}<>{}{}{}{}

Their ponytail Felicity asks if they should contact Star Labs due to their expertise on Metas. Which gets the pink-tip one to disagree which makes ponytail Felicity ask why not.

“Yes, why not? Star Labs is a viable option.” Oliver agreeing with his Felicity which makes pink-tip arch her brows.

“You are siding with her because of the ponytail, right? I know you too well otherwise.”

“I think you’ve always known him.” Dig supplies

“Talk for yourself never met the dude.” Goth Felicity scoffs easily. “Though he does rock leather well what’s with the color green?”

Oliver opens and quickly closes his mouth he really still can’t believe the three versions of his girl Wednesday.

“Okay, colors aside we need to figure out what is happening.” John redirecting it back to the problem at hand.

Pink-tips speaks up again, “If I may?” she looks at John then at her husband, well ponytail’s future husband they nod and she knows her two versions are waiting on her. “We need to ride this out. This meta-human’s name is Count Jinx, he breaks the barrier of past and future and brings a split in his victim its wears off in a few hours.”

“How do you know?”

“I’m a piece of future Felicity. The dark one is my younger self and ponytail is basically me on normal day.”

Oliver looks between each woman taking in Felicity’s appearance in different time points of her life. Goth Felicity looks like she’d chew him out and possibility bring him to his knees. Though her eyes are the same ones he’s dreamed about when he can’t refuse the connection between them. He then looks at future Felicity and wonders if he still has any connection to her. The hair dye job adds a fieriness to his fair sweet Felicity and she rocks it, does she know she has his heart? Looking at the one he dubs in his head as his Felicity she has this innocence that he doesn’t want his darkness to penetrate. She’s too good for him.

John asks while he’s noticing Oliver taking in each version of his girl before him. “What do we do with Count Jinx once he wakes up.”

“We’ll need to create a neutralizing damping field.” Looking at the tablet in ponytail’s hand “May I?”

“Sure. Is there anything I can do?”

“If Goth me and you my ponytail version can gather some metal that be great.”

“What about us?”

“Cover his head so he’ll be disoriented and keep him from escaping.”

                                           {}{}{}{}<>{}{}{}{}

Felicity looks at the tablet and starts pulls up some old code that she never knew back then why she kept it filed away is now the key to containing Count Jinx from his powers. John comes to check on her progress.

“Well I like the pink it’s edgy.” Dig says

“Thanks John it sweet but I’m actually letting it fade out.”

“I assume there is a story behind it?”

They share a look and she smiles, “Yep, but at the end of the day as long as my husband likes it, I’m good.”

“I saw the ring your hiding now.” his head points to Oliver helping the others gather some metal. “Does it happen to be with that lug over there.”

“It’s a good thing your good at keeping secrets. Can’t have younger version me and the drama Queen knowing what is in store. What gave it away?”

“It would be a travesty that watching you both fall in love and not be together in the end.”

“You’ve been our biggest cheerleader another reason why I love you John…”

“Are we missing anything here?” Oliver comes up to them only hearing her declaration of love while holding some metal and wires.

“Nope, Felicity was just reminiscing and telling me how awesome I am.”

Felicity shakes her head, “See I couldn’t love you less. You’ll always be one of my greatest friends.”

“Thanks Felicity ditto. You two mean the world to me.”

Oliver looking at their comradery he agrees these two mean a great deal to him.

“Well if you three are done with the lovey dovely crap don’t we have work to do?”

Ponytail smiles at her younger version and whispers “Those are our boys you going to love them.”

“Whatever. At least they aren’t boring.”

                                             {}{}{}{}<>{}{}{}{}

She starts to explain how this all works. They have a small confinement area setup they just wait for time to be up and everything to go back to normal. Star Labs is contacted so hopeful this criminal be off the streets for a while.

“Well this was fun.” Goth Felicity rolls her eyes.

“It wasn’t that bad. I got to see my past self again.”

“Okay sure nothing stands out like becoming the dork I feared I’d become.”

“Hey I take offense to that.”

“You should four-eyed geek.”

Oliver looks at Pink-tips as she’s just looking at her two younger versions bicker. She looks at Oliver and shrugs. She also sees John hiding a smile. The bickering is tame but insightful but once Goth starts asking about her future love life Pink-tips gets involved. “Hey guys let’s not.”

“Why? Have the hots for leathers? I know I do. Not that chocolate isn’t a nice flavor too. Both these men are hot. So, what’s the deal?”

“No! No. We aren’t going there.” Ponytail looks at her Goth version. “You’ll disappear leaving me to deal with the embarrassment. No. No thanks.”

“Wow! Your quite uptight when’s the last time you got…”

“Enough.” Pink-tips says gritting her teeth. “Oliver and John don’t need that kind of information so zip it.”

“Fine. Whatevers.” Goth Felicity drums out as she looks at the men she will surround herself with in the future. She can sense the attraction to the one named Oliver. He seems nice and he rocks that getup. Though she would love to peel it off of him with her teeth. From John she gets the whole protective older brother vibe but he is also so doable. Must really be good friends.

Their wait comes to an end as they can feel the change occur and Goth Felicity does the unspeakable going right upon Oliver’s lap wrapping her fingers around his neck and pecking his lips. As the change quickly finishes Felicity is still on his lap and their lips locked. As a cough takes them from the moment.

They jump apart.

#olicity #oliver queen #felicity smoak #john diggle #goth felicity #inspired by fan art #hope you enjoy #arrow

[mbtipartyblog]

What's the best way to differentiate between sx/so and so/sx?

I mean, visually, it can be pretty easy cuz So/Sxs tend to smile and laugh like hyenas (esp if they’ve got more Sx).

Idk, if you’re typing yourself personally, it kind of depends on what you prioritize more? Like which activities (sx or so) do you seem to allot the most time to in a given day (sp-blinds are absolutely awful when it comes to time management, so it’s usually all of it)?

So-doms feel a sense of obligation when it comes to participating in society; they understand that everybody plays a role regardless of how small (think “just 1 smile can change a stranger’s life!” mentality), and they put a lot of energy into looking good, maintaining their friend circles (even if they’re not particularly close), and possibly getting recognized for their achievements.

Sx-doms experience things in a very attraction/repulsion kind of way. It can get confused with So in some situations because it can be very focused on interpersonal connections, but it tends to be more selective. Where So-doms see people interconnected by obligation, Sx-doms see people interconnected by attraction. They gravitate towards situations, hobbies, and people they feel strongly attracted to and fixate on them. When they immerse themselves in a fixation, they see it as part of their identity, in the same way an So-dom will identify themselves with groups they are a part of or roles they play in society.

Both Sx/So and So/Sx use both of these, but you tend to use your aux variant as a means of obtaining your dominant variant. Also, you tend to get more neurotic about your first instinct, esp when its needs aren’t being met:

Ex., I’m pretty sure a lot of So-doms have some form of social anxiety because they place so much value on fitting in and being well-liked that they worry about it constantly. Like, if they get the impression someone dislikes them, they’ll panic and either start modifying their behavior to suit whatever they believe will make the other person like them. Or they end up going like fake So-blind mode

Sx-doms freak out when understimulated. Like, if a hobby or person they’re passionate about gets taken away from them suddenly (have a falling out/lose interest), they really get hurt because it’s like losing a part of themselves. Even with aux So, they tend to have difficulty making friends, because they have to really vibe with someone and because they might have weird as fuck interests, and the idea of having to go a long time without a fixation is… ugly

(rest under cut because it’s long and ramble-y)

we tend to get so focused on a single person/fixation that we start neglecting other aspects of our life that we would have found interesting beforehand…We feel the need to make sacrifices in order to pursue things, so if we get far enough, we might have given up a lot of our old identity. When things are over, we tend to respect that they are and understand that we can’t really go back, but it can be daunting starting from square 1.

Idk, like with So-doms and how they can end up getting disillusioned with society for no reason other than the percieved belief that people don’t like them, Sx-doms can go fake Sx-blind without stimulation– paranoid, with a really morbid fear of their own sexuality. Obvs this works differently with Sx-dominant aro/aces. Self isolating (When Sx/Sos self isolate they tend to end up under a pile of their own garbage; Sx/Sps, so far as I know, can take care of themselves a little better.)

I assume the same thing happens with Sp-doms, when their idea of self care becomes self harm, but I’m not 100% sure how they get from point A to point B to be completely honest?

Bit of a digression, srry. Uh, idk generally when Sx-doms go for a period of inaction (usually because something beyond our control is inhibiting us from doing so) we can get really temperamental? Like some of us have a pretty violent physiological reaction to understimulation?

Idk I haven’t noticed that as much with So-doms, mostly because the way they get angry seems really fake? So/Sxs are better abt it, cuz i’ve seen a few of them like /actually/ get pissed and start throwin shit.

But yea, genuine Sx anger is hot anger. Like, it’s impulsive and there’s a sort of electricity to it? (Not saying it’s good) But it takes more risks? (when i was really young my So/Sp ESFJ dad was making fun of me for doing something that violated some social norm, and I just remember really instinctively whipping like a paperweight or something across the room and getting locked in my bedroom for it)

Like, I’ve gotten better abt it, and my parents have too, but like, it still happens from time to time, and it’s usually because of understimulation.

genuine Sx-blind anger is cold btw, and it sorta terrifies me because they don’t really seem to take any risks when it happens? 0 vulnerability, they just kinda corner u and tell u in deep tones abt how they’ve been working their ass off for years and never once have gotten recognized for it, and ur like “nice to meet u lol” and hope they don’t vlad the impaler u

Also a digression that adds nothing to this post, sorry.

#ask #Jawsanswers