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luvrxbunny · 8 months

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buzz

Pairing: DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: You get high with Joel and some things are discussed.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, alcohol consumption, smoking (weed), praise kink-ish, hair pulling, dry humping, cum in pants(?) (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.5k

A/N: I definitely have a thing for guys cumming in their pants.

You speed the whole way to Joel’s house. You were supposed to be there at 12:30 pm but after some time management and fashion complications you were arriving at 2:45 pm. You knew your father was going to murder you, he had been planning this barbeque for weeks, and he had gotten the whole neighborhood involved as well. You knock frantically until Joel answers the door.

Your spine straightens as you watch a smile spread over his face. “Look who decided to drop by!” You grunt at him and let yourself in. “I know Joel! Where is he? I brought pumpkin pie..?” You offer as an apology.

You whirl around the kitchen, looking for somewhere to put it. Joel watches you run around his kitchen, your little pink skirt twirling around with you. “How ‘bout you give me that pie and just go see your old man?” You stop your search and look at him like he’s saved your life. “Perfect! So perfect Joel! You’re lovely.” You kiss him on the cheek quickly and run off to find your dad. Joel is left standing in the middle of his kitchen with your pie in his hands and the ghost of your kiss on his cheek. He chuckles before setting it down, pretending like a blush isn’t rising to his cheeks and spreading over his face.

“Dad?!” You finally find your father in Joel's backyard and wrap your arms around him tightly. “I’m so sorry! I couldn’t find an outfit and then I had to go to like three whole different stores to find the stupid pumpkin pie that no one even asked for and then by the time I started heading over here I was like an hour away and-” He cuts off your rambling with a deep laugh.

“Don’t worry about it honeybee!” He comes a bit closer to whisper in your ear. “Got all the neighborhood women here with Joel answering the door,” He tells you. You assume he's been drinking as laughter escapes him with every word. “Ugh! Stop it, Dad.”

You cover your face with a laugh, shaking your head because you know exactly what he’s talking about. You and Joel talk about it all the time. It had come up during one of your many late-night talks, and he denied it to no end, he had no clue that the women in the neighborhood wanted him. You had to start pointing out their behaviors to him. The way some wives would offer to make him a plate while their husbands were empty-handed, how there was always at least one lady asking to fix him a drink, and there was even a lady who offered to fan him on a hot day. Joel accepted that you were right and now basked in the attention. He openly entertains their flirting now, offering to do husbandly tasks around the house from time to time.

You almost wish you hadn’t made him aware of it. Now you have to watch them flirt with him while knowing that he knows they want him. You’re aware of the way his chest slightly puffs out when they compliment him, something he used to only do for you. When you used to bathe in the way he reacted to your compliments, your innuendos, but now they’re commonplace for him. You liked to see the way he craved them, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

He’d do little things for you, fix you a plate, offer to drive you anywhere you wanted to go, just to hear it. Now though, he doesn’t need it. If he ever needs a confidence boost, Joel can just put it in your dad’s head that he needs to throw a barbecue. Joel always hosts because he has the best backyard so your dad never has any reason to say no, plus he loves grilling for the neighborhood.

You imagine that's how this cookout came to be as you’re standing with your dad and his friends. You aren’t listening to the conversation, you’re watching Joel. He has a beer in his hand and looks a little uncomfortable in his shirt, fiddling with his collar as he’s swarmed by the wives. You can see that the tips of his ears are red, presumably from the attention of the whores the wives. Anger bubbles in your chest as watch his dimple appear on his cheek when they talk to him, no doubt praising every aspect of him. You have no right to feel this way, he isn't yours. You decide to ignore the feeling and get another drink.

The night moves on and you can hear people gathering their things to head home. You migrated inside halfway through the night to “recharge your social battery” when you’re really just smoking in Joel’s garage/workshop. You’re sitting on a small office couch, through the walls you listen to people thank Joel and your father before leaving. You wait for a few more minutes, finishing off your joint before spraying yourself down and coming out.

You make your way over to the living room to find your dad and Joel sitting on opposite ends of the sectional, drinking and watching TV. Joel looks more comfortable now that he’s changed out of his jeans and button-up and into a t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Hey, honeybee! C’mere make yourself comfortable!” You smile at your dad’s invitation and sit in the corner seat, between him and Joel.

“Where’d you run off to? Mrs. Thompson was asking for you.” You can hear a bit of sadness in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Dad. She was harassing me all night! Asking about why I was late, how it wasn’t fair to you, that I need to get my act together and I couldn’t deal.” You state, outwardly upset. “I mean I already know these things and I feel bad enough y’know? I just don’t need to hear it from a lady who takes her dogs to brunch.” Joel bursts out laughing at your remark causing a smile to spread on your face.

“The kid’s got a point, man. That lady will talk you into a coma if you let her.” He mutters as he takes another swig of his beer. You feel smugness settle in your chest at the fact that Joel is siding with you. Your dad nods his head and mumbles out in agreement and you all focus on the TV. You’re not paying attention to whatever it is that they’re watching due to the light buzz you’ve got going.

Instead, you’re thinking about Joel. The gray strands in his hair, the patches in his beard, his hands, his arms... your mind swarms with everything that is him. Until you feel a light push against your arm, you turn to see Joel pointing at your dad, an amused smile on his face. You’re head whirls around to see your dad, passed out on the couch. You laugh gently at him and shake your head before walking over to wake him up. You shake his arm gently, “C’mon pop, you should head on home.” You say with a light giggle as he groans, pushing himself up from the seat to give you a tight hug. “Alright honeybee, you got me.” You laugh into his shoulder as he squeezes you and let's go. You see his face scrunch up before sniffing lightly, “You smell that?”

You tense for a short moment before answering, “Yeah I know! I was in Joel’s workshop and it smells funky in there!” Your dad is shaking his head in disapproval at Joel as you hold in laughter. “Joel, you really gotta clean up in there, man okay?” He laughs as he pulls Joel in for a brief hug before leaving.

Joel immediately turns around and gives you a look. “If you’re gonna be smokin’ in my garage you can’t start blamin' your stink on me, darlin’. ” He has a soft smirk on his face as he says this, changing the channel from what looks like football to an episode of Rick & Morty, and walking to his kitchen.

“Oh, whatever! I don’t wanna hear complaining as long as I’m sharing with you, for free, might I add!” You shout back at him.

Joel walks out of the kitchen and towards you with snacks and drinks. He sits back down on the couch, a bit closer to you than he was before, and sets them down. You quickly grab a drink, your favorite, and open it up, “Joel, I didn’t know you had these!” You announce while happily sipping. He kicks his feet up on the table as he starts another beer, focused on the screen in front of him. “No, you jus' mentioned them the last time you were here,” He points at the TV, “same with this shit.”

You’re frozen as you process what he’s told you, that he listens, it makes you feel warm and happy as you sink into the couch. You guys sit there, drinking and laughing at the show for a while. Your cans are both empty by the time you remember you have a blunt in your bag.

You interrupt the show with a dramatic gasp and run over to his workshop.

“What?! What?” Joel shouts at you as you run, worried until he hears your giggles and sees you return with a blunt and a pink lighter.

“Jesus, honey.” He places a hand on his chest and huffs out a laugh before continuing, “nearly gave me a damn heart attack, thought you were sick or something.”

His care for you makes your stomach tingle, in a wholesome and not so wholesome way.

“Aww Joel, you’re gonna make me burn up.” You say while fanning your face jokingly, despite it being completely true. You walk up to where Joel is sitting and light the blunt before handing it to him and walking over to the kitchen, taking his empty can with you to the trash. You think you can feel Joel’s eyes on your hips as you walk away but ultimately chalk it up to your delusions.

Joel watches the way your ass moves as you walk away, taking a long hit from the blunt in an attempt to calm himself. You walk back into the room with some apple juice and the biggest smile on your face, “I fucking love apple juice” you giggle out at him, a little tipsy.

He chuckles before taking another hit, “S’why I buy ‘em, sweetheart.” His voice is strained from the puff he’s holding in and looks over at you as he exhales. You’re looking at him in a way he hasn’t seen before, with something in your eye that he doesn’t recognize. “What's wrong?” He sounds concerned, his tone snapping you out of your trance and you begin to make your way over to him.

“Nothing is wrong.” You take the blunt from him and sit back down, closer to him than you were before. “I’m thinking about how much the neighborhood wives would pay to be in my position.” This gets a loud, booming laugh out of Joel that makes your heart race. You giggle quietly as you take a hit, trying not to choke on the smoke while laughing.

“You are too damn funny, kid. The wives should keep their money, and spend it on something nice.” He chuckles and sinks further into the couch, feeling his high start to hit when you pass the blunt back to him.

“Aww stop it, Joel. You’re definitely something nice.” You push him gently, he exaggerates it and throws himself across the couch, making you laugh. “Stop, I’m serious!” You raise your voice over his fake groans of pain as pass the blunt.

“Yeah yeah I know, I just- honestly?” He pauses to take a large drag before continuing, “I just wouldn’t know what to do with ‘em.” He shrugs and passes the blunt back to you. “I don’t even know what ladies like nowadays” He finishes with a sad chuckle and shrugs.

“Really? I always assumed you were some crazy bachelor by night.” You say with a serious look before taking another puff.

“Ha. Ha. No, I’m serious. If I had all this attention when I was 19- hell even 18, I would’ve been all over these women,” He laughs softly. “but Sarah was born and I uh-” He turns to you and reaches for the blunt delicately, which you had over with a fond smile. He takes a hit before he continues, “Yeah so Sarah was born and I was so just busy raising her that I never really had time?”

You scoot closer to him take the blunt and drop some ashes in your empty apple juice bottle. You’re sitting on your legs as you listen to him, close enough that your knees are now touching his thigh and you’re blowing smoke into his cheek.

“I guess but she’s 19 now, Joel. She doesn’t really need you to raise her anymore.” You take another hit as you hear him softly gasp and put a hand over his chest.

“You’re gonna break my old heart, darlin’. You can’t say that to me.” He turns to you with a fake crying expression and you can tell he’s high, his eyes are dropping, a little unfocused, and almost bloodshot. It makes you giggle.

“She still needs you as a parent of course but you can get back out there. You’d be such a hit.” You laugh as you take another hit and Joel repositions himself so he’s a little more turned towards you, his arm comes up to rest on the couch behind you and one leg gets pulled up on the couch so your knees are now touching his shin.

“Would I?” He questions with his eyebrows furrowed and you’re about to answer him but the words die on your tongue. You watch his hand grab your wrist, twist so your palm is facing him, and pull the blunt to his mouth from between your fingers, holding you in place as he takes a hit. The action and contact have you throbbing between your legs, worsening when he releases you and you watch him close his eyes and exhale, his head falling slightly back before looking over at you. “In the dating pool, I mean. Do you really think I’d be a-” His hands come up for air quotes. “Hit?”

You have to gather your thoughts a bit before answering him. “Oh yeah, Joel. You’re exactly what women want.” You take another hit as Joel chuckles and stretches his neck before letting his head fall back on the couch, he places his foot back on the floor and adjusts his hips, spreading his legs a bit more. “What do ‘ya mean?” He grunts out.

You’re too busy staring at his hips to notice his question. You think you see something twitch against his thigh, your eyes dart up and make contact with his the moment you do. Joel reaches over and takes the blunt, you admire him as he takes a few hits before speaking again. “I asked you to explain, sweetheart.”

“Oh- uh, you’re just a specimen, Joel.” Your tongue is looser, your filter is off: you’re high. “You’re big and broad and you care. You’re nice to people and really mean to others and you’re so.. strong.” Joel takes another hit with a soft groan as you ramble deliriously. You notice something starting to press against his sweatpants and become fixated on it. “You’re protective and shy and you’re always trying. Your hair is salt and peppery and so fluffy-” You cut yourself off with a dramatic groan to emphasize your point. “You have a beard and warm brown eyes.” You’re watching his hips as they start to gently thrust into the air. He’s still holding the blunt but it’s been forgotten, the little orange bud having gone out. You can watch him fill up in his sweatpants, unconstricted, just pressing right up against the fabric. “You look scary but you’re actually not, girls- ladies um, they love that.”

Your heart is racing and you’re leaking between your legs, to the point where you’re worried you’ve soaked your panties through and started staining Joel’s couch. Your hips begin to subconsciously grind clit against your heel in time with Joel’s thrusts. “Uhm-” Your breathing is getting heavy but you can’t help it. “You’re voice is so good, s-smooth and deep an-and you have that southern accent.” Your eyes are hooded as you move your eyes up to see him, watching his furrowed expression as best you can with his face to the ceiling. "You're big, you're broad and all muscle.." You can see his chest beginning to heave as his eyelids flutter gently, still closed as his hips grind into the air. “And you’re such a gentleman Joel.”

Your voice has pitched up into a whine and it forces his eyes open, they meet your instantly. A groan comes from his throat as he registers your slowing hips, embarrassment creeping up inside you. He holds his eye contact with you as his hips stutter, his irises consumed by his pupil. Your eyes wander down from his to his lips and his tongue runs over them reflexively. When they meet him again they’re more desperate, his breaths coming faster. “So you wanna c’mere an’ kiss me or what?” He says with an uncharacteristically nervous tone, a hot red blush rising on his cheeks as you watch him twitch in his pants.

You swing one leg over him as soon as he offers, placing yourself directly over his bulge and his hands are gripping you instantly. “HOLY-” Joel shouts quickly and breathlessly the moment your pussy presses against him. “Fuck- I’m sorry- forgot we smoked. Fuck my body is fuckin’ vibratin’- I’m sorry.”

You huff out a soft laugh and put the rest of your weight down on him, earning a groan from him. “I know-” I moan slips out of you as you slowly start moving your hips. “I feel it too, Joel”

You whisper gently in his ear before grinding yourself against him fully, the fabric of his sweatpants feeling perfect when pressed into you. His hands are gripping his hips and his head is still thrown back over the couch. He has his eyes pressed shut and rugged groans slip out of him as he begins to buck up into you, finally bringing his head up.

“Fuuuck, sweetie. Are all girls as soft as you now? Huh? Or are you special?” He moans against your ear, his breath tingling as it runs over the back of your neck. You’ve buried your face in the crook of his neck as your hips hump into him, one is gripping the fabric on his lower back, trying to push him against you harder and the other is behind his neck, sliding its way up into his hair. Once it reaches its destination you get a shocked moan from Joel as he pushes his head back into your hand. You moan and speed your hips up, rubbing your clit against him perfectly.

“I’m special.” You moan into his ear in response, feeling pleasure pool in your stomach and begin to spill over as Joel thrusts up into you. Your hands pull his hair earning a beautiful whine from him and begin to shake as your hips stutter. "All guys moan like this or are you special?“ You manage to get out in between moans, taunting him with his words. He moans even louder at your words, his hips speeding up in an impossible pace. You're almost overwhelmed with all the pleasure assaulting your senses. "N-Never felt this good before- shit, Joel.” His name comes out as a whine before you moan out and start cumming in his lap.

Your back is arched and your hips are grinding frantically into his cock as you moan in his ear, yanking on his hair in the process. You feel his huge arms wrap around you and hug you tightly to his chest before his hips smash up into you. He has his face turned into your neck and is whimpering into it every time his cock makes contact with your soft pussy.

"Thank you, baby. Thank you, honey- fuck, feels so fuckin' good." His voice devolves into a whine as he freezes and you can feel his cock pulse against you. You feel him twitch several times as a wet patch spreads under your pussy. You can feel his lips open in a silent moan against your neck. He sounds winded when he starts breathing again, moans sliding out alongside his exhales.

His muscles stop shaking before he speaks again, a sad groan coming out of him as he opens his mouth. “I used to be better than this, I swear.” His eyes are still closed as he gently presses up into you again with a groan, his cock twitching and spurting more cum into his pants. “Back in my prime, I would’ve rocked your world, would’ve had you shaking for me.”

You giggle into his neck before pulling back and placing a kiss on his nose softly. “I think you are in your prime, Joel.” He looks at you in disbelief.

“I don't see you shakin’, sweetheart.” You shake your head at him softly and grab his face with both of your hands. “I’m willing to give you time to change that.”

You see his eyes darken and his breathing gets shallow again, his hands tightening around you. He leans into your face with a smirk. “Y’know, I never even got that kiss…”

You giggle and pull him to you, kissing him with everything you have and feeling in the depths of your soul, that this was going to become a regular thing for you. You smile against Joel’s lips and your heart races at the thought. You pull away to giggle but he pulls you right back in, muttering out a muffled “Not enough” before smashing his lips to yours.

You kiss him as much as he wants, bathing in his attention, for the rest of the night.

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

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impala-dreamer · 3 months

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Tourniquet - Chapter One

A Supernatural Dean x Reader Series Told Backwards

~Y/N has been by Dean’s side through his worst days, always there if he needs her, forever just a call away. Love is impossible to fight and more impossible to live with. Just a side character in his epic life, Y/N would give anything just to give Dean a moment’s peace.~

Please see MASTERLIST for full info/warnings/chapter links.

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist ~ Patreon ~ Published Works

All The Damage That This Dark World Does

It had been raining on and off for days and the ground was little more than a muddy expanse that swallowed up the soles of their boots like quicksand.

The forest was dark and the air rang loud with the requiem of nature. Birds sang low and sad; branches crackled underfoot. Somewhere in the distance, a wolf howled and the hunters froze. Each set of ears turned towards the sound and eyes darted about while tired minds calculated distances.

Bobby’s gruff whisper broke through the rain’s symphony. “‘Bout a half a mile east.”

Dean nodded and Y/N squared her shoulders.

“And where’s the rest of them?” she asked, tone a little harsher than it needed to be as she glared at the old man.

Dean shot her a look but she didn’t flinch. Mary shifted uncomfortably between them, not wanting to get involved.

Bobby adjusted his cap and shrugged. “Gotta be close. They’re hunting us as sure as we’re hunting them.”

She sighed. “So which way do we go? I’d rather not run right into the pack.”

Dean cleared his throat and cocked a brow her way. She wasn’t going to let up and he knew it.

“Why don’t we split up,” he suggested, looking at Bobby and his mother. “You guys go south, we’ll keep heading west.”

Mary nodded. “OK. Just stay safe.” She smiled and Y/N half returned it.

Bobby huffed. “You two be careful and holler if you get in trouble.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and set off before Dean could spin around.

“Why are you such a bitch to him?” he asked, easily catching up to her with his long stride.

“You know why.” She swatted at a low hanging branch and groaned. “That’s not Bobby and it’s fucking creepy.”

Dean laughed at her. “It is Bobby-”

“Not my Bobby.”

He sighed. “You get used to it.”

“No thanks.”

Another howl, this time closer and followed by another.

Y/N stood still and tall, listening with her entire being. Dean came up behind her and she held a finger to her lips, ordering him to be silent.

The earth was damp. The fallen autumn leaves were too wet to make a sound, but she heard the squelch of mud as a creature ran through it. The being gained speed, and the wind picked up, chilling their faces as sure as the adrenaline prickled their skin.

She nodded towards his right and Dean raised his pistol, gripping it tight and following the line of sight into the dank woods. He squinted and a mess of black, matted fur moved behind the trees.

“Shit.”

Y/N flipped off the safety on her gun and steadied herself. She took a breath, gave him a wink and set off to the left.

He knew her well enough to understand the plan without conversing, and Dean moved off to the right. They’d wrap around in a circle and meet behind the beast, hopefully catching it off guard and raining silver down upon it.

It was a good plan. Solid. Proven.

Y/N moved swiftly through the trees, careful to tread lightly through the muck and avoid the fallen soldiers of the wood. The rain picked up and with the distance now between them, she lost sight of Dean, but she wasn’t too worried. They were professionals, after all.

Another few yards and the tree line gave way to a clearing. Y/N wondered for a moment if she’d gotten turned around in the forest, but her internal compass told her she was going the right way.

A wolf’s cry made her sure.

The grass was tall and free, untouched by blades or trampled by tires. She pushed through the weeds and a flash of memory struck her.

The sweet smell of spring; the tickle of grass against her cheek. Rusted metal and chrome gleaming in the sun. The smell of burgers burning on charcoal. Perfect green eyes.

Y/N shivered at the sensory overload and blinked into the clearing. She was taller than the grass now and so much older than her days in the junkyard.

She took a deep breath and heard her name.

From across the field, Dean emerged from the trees and shouted her name. He spun his hand in the air and she cocked her head, staring at him, confused but smiling. He was just as beautiful as the first time she’d seen him, though a bit more broken down and tired.

Again, he yelled for her, and the slow motion world around her cranked back up to full speed.

“Y/N!”

She heard it then- the horrid, hungry growl. She smelled the dirt, the wetness. Felt the fear as her body tensed.

Y/N turned and the wolf attacked. She pulled the trigger but it only made the beast more aggressive.

Powerful jaws clamped down on her defending arm; razor claws ripped through her flesh. The wet ground accepted her body as they fell, the mud curled up around her as the grass gave way.

Two shots rang out and the wolf was hit. It reared back and leapt over her, gunning for Dean.

Y/N flipped over in the mud and tried to get up to help him, but her arms gave out and she sank down, her face cradled by the soft grass.

One more blast from the gun and she heard the monster fall. Boots splashed through the mud and she felt Dean’s warmth as he fell to his knees beside her.

Big hands turned her carefully and Dean scanned her face. Her eyes were rolling, her lips curled into the sweetest smile.

“No. No. No.” His bottom lip trembled as he peeled back her jacket and saw the damage. Her chest was torn, her stomach ripped open and gushing blood. He pressed his hand into her middle and she cried out.

Pain spread through her at his touch and then subsided.

She grabbed at his arm, wrapping her fingers around the canvas sleeve.

“I… I’m sorry, Dean.”

Her voice was quaking as badly as his hand and he closed his eyes, shook his head.

“No.”

She smiled, laughed a little. “Yeah.”

Again, he shook his head, refusing to let her go. “No.” He sat up a bit, craned his neck over the tall grass. “Bobby! Somebody! Help!”

Weakly, she lifted a hand to his face and guided his gaze back down to her.

“Hey. It’s OK.”

He raged inside. Grit his teeth. “It’s not OK!”

Blood rushed beneath his hand like a dam had burst on a river. Her skin paled, her eyelids fluttered.

His heart raced, breath quickened. “Please don’t. Don’t leave. Please.”

Her shoulders twitched inward and the pain returned. She cringed but kept her smile, unwilling to go out like some terrified victim, some damsel in distress.

“Dean…” She pet his cheek, wiped away a hot tear.

“Please.”

“Do you remember when we met?”

He chewed his lip, closed his eyes, and took a breath.

“Yeah, Y/N/N. Of course I do.”

Her fingers tensed on his cheek. “You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. You still are.”

“Don’t say goodbye to me, Y/N/N. You can’t.” He turned his face and kissed her palm, grabbed her wrist with both bloody hands and kissed her fingertips, kissed her knuckles, kissed every inch. “You can’t leave me.”

With her free hand, she tugged at the chain around her neck and pulled the necklace free.

“Here. Take this back,” she whispered, hardly able to spare the breath to speak any longer.

Dean gasped and dropped her hand, ran his fingertips over the old lug nut pendant. “You… you still have this? After all this time?”

She laughed painfully. “Of course I do, you idiot. I never take it off.”

He closed a fist around it and shut his eyes, trying to erase the tears and be strong for her. It was all ending and he knew it. She had just moments left and he couldn’t let her go without letting her know the truth.

“It’s my good luck charm,” she said under a harsh breath. She coughed and the taste of iron flooded her mouth. She swallowed it down and held on.

“Didn’t do you much good today.”

She smiled and closed her hand around his.

“I’ve always loved you, ya know. You… you were always it for me, Dean. Always. I’ve… I’ve loved you since that first day by the stream. I’ve never not loved you. I just need you to know that.”

He shuddered, sucked in an uneasy breath. “I knew, Y/N/N,” he confessed. “I always knew. I… I love you, too. So fucking much.”

Her eyes lit up for a second and she shook her head sadly. The tears broke free and refused to leave.

“Then why? Why didn’t-”

She couldn’t finish the words, but he understood.

He pressed his hand lightly to her forehead and smiled. “Come on. I’ve told you a thousand times, Y/N/N. I don’t deserve someone like you.”

He leaned down, held her cheek, kissed her forehead, her cheek, her lips.

Y/N closed her eyes, safe in his arms, and felt the sweet pull of sleep yank at her limbs.

“Shut up, Dean,” she whispered.

He laughed gently.

She smiled.

He would be OK.

Dean stared into the fire, watching through bloodshot eyes as the flames licked at her silhouette.

Her necklace gleamed in the pyre’s glow and he closed his fist around it, holding it tight. Despite the heat of the fire, the metal was cold against his palm.

She was really gone.

She’d been there almost his entire life, always at his side when he called, always there to stitch him back together. But now she was gone.

He’d watched a hundred bodies burn over the years, said goodbye to every friend he’d ever had, but this was too much. There was a piece of him gone, a wound had been carved out of his chest that would never heal.

So many things he should have told her, so many times he’d taken her for granted. Guilt pulled at him and grief chewed at his veins. So many years wasted. So many nights he could have been alone with her, happy and loved.

The blaze burned hot, the wood crackled.

Dean stared silently, drowning in his pain. Forever the man she loved. Still the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

The boy with the green eyes.

Tourniquet Tags: @prettyinplaid94 @winharry @muhahaha303

2024 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!) @babysimpala @beardburnsupersoldiers @chenshemesh1 @cosicas-cuquis @deans-baby-momma @deanwinchesterswitch @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @impalaspixie @jackles010378 @kazsrm67 @k-slla @leigh70 @lyarr24 @nancymcl @peachy-vans @pizzagirlxnsfwx @rachiem4-blog @sexyvixen7 @the-wounded-healer05

#tourniquet #dean winchester fanfiction #dean x reader #series #angst

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puppy-byun · 8 months

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Just Friends... Unless...? | Pt. 3

pairing: Hyunjin x Reader / a sprinkle of Seonghwa x Reader

rating: 18+

word count: 13.3k

genre: smut / friends to lovers / angst / university au

warnings: curse words, weed consumption and drinking (not by reader or hyunjin), angst, bad flirting, more angst, ANGST, sex, please use protection please be smart!!!!, fingering, overstimulation, oral (f. receiving), light dirty talk, pet names

summary: You weren’t crushing on Hyunjin. You couldn’t be crushing on Hyunjin because you were just friends, and there was no way he would ever feel the same way about you. Right? Unless...?

note: we're already done with another one i can't believe... I hope you all had fun and enjoyed this & if you did I'd be happy if you leave me your thoughts in a reply or ask hihi

taglist: @chartrucewhore @hyunfruits @petalsnow @yaorzu-blog

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You didn’t expect Chan to wait for you two days later after your lecture, leaning against the wall next to the exit of your classroom, arms crossed like a father waiting for his daughter to get home in the middle of the night.

“Uhm, hi?” you greeted, not unhappy to see your friend but something in your gut told you he was here with a purpose that you weren’t going to like. Nonetheless you gently disentangled his arms and hooked yours through instead, tugging him along down the hallway and towards the building’s exit. “To what do I owe the honor of you picking me up? Don’t you have classes, too?” you mock scolded, already having an idea why he was here. You were sending a silent prayer that you were wrong.

“I do but apparently if you fake a spontaneous bout of sickness they excuse you before you can throw up in their classroom.” Chan admitted with a proud grin and you swatted him over the back of his head, struggling to reach up.

“Skipping class, I see.” you tsked, shaking your head as if you were disappointed in him. “And here I thought you are a role model.”

Chan let out a dry chuckle, raising an eyebrow. “To whom? Jeongin already is the most responsible one out of you guys. I gave up a while ago with the rest of you.”

You laughed with him, knowing that he was only joking because while some of you were indeed slacking off at times, you knew no one more dedicated to their passions than your friends.

“Anyway, I know what you’re doing, and you know just fine why I’m here.”

“Yes actually I just remembered I wanted to talk to my professor so I’m gonna head back-“ you were already about to turn around and make a swift exit to anywhere where Chan wasn’t but he had expected this and caught your arm faster than you could dive away from his grasp.

“Oh no. We are going to talk now.” Giving in with a sigh you let him pull you along but refused to say anything. This talk would only happen if Chan coaxed it out of you word by word.

“Here, I brought you some endorphins because I have a feeling you need them,” he started, fishing one of your favorite chocolate bars out of his bag. You took it with a mumbled thank you but refused to look at your friend, focusing on the chocolate instead.

“Chan, we already talked at that stupid pool party. What more is there to talk about?”

“For starters, we could talk about what on earth went down after we talked, because Seungmin, Minho and Felix have all separately told me that Hyunjin is basically living in the practice room ever since that night.”

“That’s like, two days. He’s done that before, it’s normal,” you waved him off nonchalantly, refusing to admit anything as long as you didn’t have to. You wish you could say you had managed to not think about that night much, or at least everything that had gone down before you had gone inside with Seonghwa. But your mind was as hyper-focused on Hyunjin as ever, even when he was being an absolute idiot.

“We all know that, but if they’re worried you know it’s exceeding the normal extent. And the fact that you’re not looking at me and keep pretending this chocolate is the most fascinating thing you’ve ever seen is telling me that you know damn well what I’m talking about.”

“Why don’t you go talk to him then?” you huffed, trying not to come off as snappy because Chan didn’t deserve your frustration.

“Because you were my friend first. I can tell you’re unhappy and I want to help, but if you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t do that.”

“You can’t help either way, Chan. But alright,-“ you conceded with a sigh “I’ll tell you. Hyunjin and me kissed, okay?” you dropped that bomb in as meek a voice as possible, ready to move on with your retelling and not dwell on this. “And then he-“

“Hold up, stop right there. When?“ he physically stopped mid-walk, eyes big and hand held out in front of your chest, automatically causing you to look up at him.

“Karaoke night.” You answered automatically. “The others took Jisung home and I offered to take Hyunjin because he was drunk. That’s when.” You finished lamely, hoping to skip the recounting of this night in any more detail.

“The next day he didn’t remember anything. Or he pretended not to remember anything. I doesn’t really matter, because I realized how fucked I am either way. And ever since then things have been really weird between us. The kiss-“ you cringed a bit at that word because it had been so much more, and if it really just had been a kiss the whole situation probably wouldn’t have blown up quite like this. “After the kiss it was weird because I remembered. And whether purposely or not, Hyunjin didn’t. But I thought we’d be fine when he asked if I’d come to the pool party. And then he really exploded on me in a nasty way and now everything is even worse.”

“Was that before or after you got cozy with Seonghwa?”

“After,” you added meekly, his gaze telling you exactly where he was going with this. He didn’t even add anything, just staring at you with a raised brow and letting the pregnant silence weigh in.

Finally you gave in, looking away with a grumpy huff because maybe Chan was making some points, but you had just as many to prove that he was wrong, the biggest one being that you had been friends for three years with no instance of Hyunjin ever indicating he wanted to be more than your friend other than that one time two weeks ago.

“You know, I’ve been talking about this with Changbin and Seungmin a lot, but actually everyone except for you knows.”

You didn’t have to ask what he meant, but you also didn’t indulge him with a reply. Just because they thought they were pinpointing some signs correctly didn’t prove anything unless Hyunjn told anyone himself.

“Why do you think none of us have ever made a move on you, apart from the obvious reasons why I haven’t?”

“Because we’re friends,” you supplied with a tone that clearly implied a heavy duh. You didn’t miss the irony of saying the same thing about Hyunjin and you, yet everything between the two of you was vastly different.

“And you think just because we’re friends Jisung or Changbin have never had a crush on you?”

“What?!” you burst out, too shocked now to continue staying nonchalant and blasé about this when you hadn’t been the whole talk anyways.

Chan was only grinning because he knew he got you now. “Well anyways, that’s not the point,” he added unhelpfully, clearly not going to dwell on this topic right after he dropped a bomb like that.

“Why did you tell me then?!” you pressed on, your brain still processing his last few sentences and not quite keeping up.

“To prove a point, obviously. They’re long over it now- actually over it, not the way you were over Hyunjin.” You punched him in the shoulder for that jab, even though he was regretfully completely right again. “They never acted on it because Hyunjin has always liked you, right from the very beginning.”

“As if Changbin is scared of competing with Hyunjin,” you scoffed, still not buying what Chan was selling you because the idea that Hyunjin liked you was simply too ridiculous.

“He’s not, of course, but everyone can tell how much Hyunjin likes you and no one wants to hurt him that way.”

“Chan, I appreaciate the effort of making me feel better, but none of this makes sense. Why was Hyunjin all over Chaeyoung if he allegedly likes me?”

“Why were you all over Seonghwa?”

“Because I want to get over Hyunjin and I want to prove to myself that I ca- oh.” You stopped mid-sentence, realizing you had talked yourself into this one. You hated to admit that Chan was making sense but there was no way to deny it. Neither you nor Hyunjin had ever had hookups in front of the other in those three years you had known each other, but as soon as you had, both of you had reacted so poorly it was downright embarrassing. Him getting drunk and throwing a fit, you jumping on Seonghwa’s offer to fuck just to prove a point. Maybe Chan was right after all. Yet, if Hyunjin liking you meant him treating you the way he had you weren’t sure you wanted it.

“He still said horrible things to me, Chan. I could tell he wanted his words to hurt. Who does that, especially since he allegedly likes me?”

“Feelings do make us act more irrational and stupid. And he was drunk.”

“Yeah, so? And on top of that he had plenty of time to apologize, yet he did not.”

Chan sighed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side in a comforting half-hug.

“Look, I’m not trying to protect him, I’m one hundred percent with you on this. But we’ve all done and said horrible things coming from a place of hurt. You’re not even sure if he remembers the kiss, yet you’re hurt he doesn’t mention it. But you were sober, and if he remembers but for some reason acts as if he doesn’t, then he knows you remember for sure, yet you don’t mention it either.”

You ignored that technically Chan was, once again, right. You couldn’t really blame Hyunjin if he was pretending not to remember, not unless you held yourself accountable too, because you could’ve brought it up just as well, but chickened out.

“So, we agree he’s probably lying to me?” you settled on instead, because this was easier. Being angry at Hyunjin was easier than facing that both of you screwed up big time.

“Listen, if this were any other guy I’d already have punched him in the face personally,” Chan assured you, squeezing your shoulder gently. “But it’s Hyunjin. We’ve all been friends for years. You have been in love for years-“

“Debatable on his part,” you protested just for good measure but Chan simply ignored the comment.

“-while I was hoping this would explode with you two finally fucking, it kinda went the other direction, but that doesn’t mean it’s unfixable.”

And he was right, you didn’t want to give up on this friendship, on Hyunjin, so easily. Feelings or not, he had been one of your closest friends for so long you did not want to lose that over something this stupid. But you were also hurt, and those feelings didn’t just go away either.

“I’ll think about it.” You finally admitted in defeat, feeling extremely overwhelmed with everything going through your head, but you couldn’t deny that talking to Chan had helped. “It’s just a lot to take in and I’m not sure what to do with any of this just yet.”

You weren’t sure a couple of days later either, but the world regrettably didn’t stop spinning for you to figure out your feelings, so you were left with very little choices but to confront them sooner rather than later.

“Come oooooon,” Chaeryoung was whining for the nth time this morning, and you couldn’t really be mad at her. “It’s a Jackson Wang party, you know we cannot pass on that.”

You rolled your eyes, trying not to groan because she couldn’t know all the reasons you very well wanted to pass on a Jackson Wang party since you hadn’t told her. “I’ve literally heard damn near urban legends about his parties, and when we finally get invited to one you want to say no?!”

She had said this, too, at least twice already.

“What do you mean we? Last time I remembered Seonghwa asked me,” you joked, teasing her because this was the only thing you could do since you couldn’t outright be annoyed with her. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know you had good reasons not to go. If anything, you had to blame yourself for telling her Seonghwa invited you in the first place.

His text message was the first thing you had seen in the morning and in your half-asleep state you had not considered the consequences of telling Chaeryoung you had received an invitation to a party at Jackson Wang’s house. Not only was she dead-set on the fact that there was no way you would decline because she would, quote, ‘rather die than miss this opportunity’.

To make matters worse, she had consequently found out that the invitation had come from none other than Seonghwa directly. Since there were very few scenarios as to why he would invite you her mind immediately jumped to the one plausible conclusion. You didn’t feel like diving into a recount of your night – especially because you’d rather not mention what led up to the decision to leave with Seonghwa, so you just let her construct her own picture of what had happened. You didn’t need to elaborate on whether you had actually slept with him or not before you found out he’s the biggest Star Wars nerd (the R2D2 underwear was a bit of a giveaway though) and had subsequently spent the rest of your night with him trying to convince you you just absolutely had to marathon Star Wars with him.

You were fairly sure that this wasn’t necessarily a booty call (although he probably wouldn’t say no either) – he actually just seemed to enjoy hanging out with you.)

Chaeryoung, however, who was nurturing a never-ending admiration from afar for Hongjoong, had smelled blood, convinced that this was the night she would finally get to make a move.

Since then she had not stopped pestering you for the last three or so hours, constantly bringing up new arguments why you had to go and why there was no reason not to, and you had trouble coming up with an excuse. You couldn’t very well tell her the truth, which was that there was a very high risk Hyunjin would be at the party as well, and you were far from having figured out your feelings and definitely not ready to face him. Then again, you doubted you would know what to do even if you had a week or a month to think about it. Plus, since you doubted Chaeryoung would let go of this, you finally gave in with a sigh, reaching for your phone to ask Chan if he would be going as well and could drive you.

“Don’t ignore me!” Chaeryoung huffed, plopping down on the sofa next to you to catch a glimpse at your phone. “Hold up, are you actually asking Chan do drive us? I convinced you?”

She looked at you so shocked you realized she hadn’t actually been sure she would succeed.

“As if you’d ever let me live it down if I got between you and your shot at getting with Hongjoong.”

“Very true, bestie,” she nodded, poking her tongue out and almost jumping up when your phone buzzed next to you. “Was that Chan? Is he driving us? God I can’t believe I’ll end up making out with Hongjoong tonight.”

If anything, you had to commend her confidence and drive, so you let her have the moment, even though you felt sick at the prospect of probably seeing Hyunjin again already.

Jackson’s house was big, at least from the stories you’d heard. That is what you were telling yourself to calm down and convince yourself there was a chance that you might be spared from running into Hyunjin. Those hopes were crushed mercilessly when you were towed towards Chan’s car by Chaeryoung a few hours later, and you spotted the one boy you had been hoping to avoid on the passenger seat next to Chan. Granted, you only saw the back of his head and the tiniest bit of side profile but that was enough for you to immediately recognize Hyunjin.

Your mood soured almost instantly, feeling a bit betrayed that Chan hadn’t even warned you. Yeah, he was still going with the whole ‘you both need to confront your feelings and sort this out’ thing, but there were subtle ways to push the agenda, and then there was this. Chaeryoung, still thankfully oblivious to the true reason of your hesitancy to go to this party, was dragging you to the car without slowing down, opening the door and greeting everyone with a bright and bubbly hello. You couldn’t share her excitement, half tempted to whack Chan over the head for forcing you into this situation. You hadn’t talked to Hyunjin in days, technically even longer if the awkward half-conversations via texts before that weren’t counted – and they shouldn’t be. And as if to fuck you over even more, the dim lights of the car were not enough to conceal his outfit. God, he had to be doing this on purpose.

He knew he looked good, of course he knew. Ever since he had grown out his hair and bleached it even he couldn’t not notice the effect he had on people around him. Despite that he barely went through any extra effort when you went out, knowing he looked breath-taking as it was.

Not tonight though. Tonight, as if struggling with your feelings for him day by day wasn’t torture enough, he wore his long hair open, casually tucked behind his ears to show off a row of earrings dangling. He’d even gone through the trouble of applying eyeliner – you’d only seen him do that once or twice, despite always telling him how good it looked, but of course tonight he’d remember. It wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was the high sleeveless top, that didn’t just show off his arms and shoulders in a way that made it impossible not to look. No, as if that wasn’t enough, the sleeve cut outs were so big if he moved just a bit he might as well just go shirtless. You were just about ready to throw the door shut and run back to your dorm, abandoning ship, but Chaeryoung wasn’t having any of it. She grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the car so decisively you almost banged your head.

At least the light and angle were saving you from the sight of Hyunjin’s lean muscles peeking out thanks to that horrible shirt.

You mumbled out a greeting so silent and grumpy it was only rivalled by Hyunjin’s, and your hopes for having a decent, amicable evening were dwindling rapidly. The looks should have been an incentive to do what Chan kept urging you to do – either talk it out or finally get on Hyunjin’s lap – but in all honestly it only made you angry because there was no way this was a coincidence. He barely ever made an effort, and suddenly tonight he would make sure to tick all the boxes of everything you’d ever mentioned you found attractive?

You were still hoping that Hyunjin might be smarter sober, but the mood between you was undeniably icy already, so you weren’t very optimistic. Even though you hadn’t sorted your feelings out and talking to Chan had only made everything a lot more complicated you desperately wanted to find even the smallest reason to forgive Hyunjin to at least have your friend back. But he wasn’t even looking at you, giving you a vibe so frosty you doubted he even wanted to be forgiven. You had really hoped sober him would be more reasonable than drunk him, but you hadn’t counted on just how petty Hyunjin could be.

“You look good.” You barely caught Chan’s comment, snorting when the words filtered in because he was shamelessly exaggerating.

“If you’d say that to Chaeryoung I’d believe you. I’m wearing sneakers and a shirt, who are you trying to fool?”

You were surprised just how much you were able to shut out Hyunjin and shove those feelings aside even when he was right there. But even so the conversation simply felt off, and how could it not when two out of four people wouldn’t even properly look at each other. It was Chan’s own fault, really, for bringing you both in this situation, but poor Chaeryoung had no idea what was going on. She had undoubtedly caught on to the mood, if her squirming next to you was any indication.

Chaeryoung was talkative by nature, bubbly and sweet, but she could not handle awkward or uncomfortable silences so it had only been a matter of time before she would force up a conversation. You had come surprisingly far before she couldn’t take it any longer; but for the second time today her not being in the loop was coming to bite you in the ass, because what she caught on was the one topic she assumed all of you were in on.

“I wish I could just show up in shorts and a shirt, honestly, but I have a game plan for tonight and that’s getting with Hongjoong, and I’ll be damned if I don’t pull all the heavy weaponry,” she stated, pointing her finger towards her very generously low-cut top as if it hadn’t been clear already what she was talking about. “I still can’t believe you pulled Seonghwa without any effort and you don’t even let me in on your secrets.”

You had laughed when you’d told her about it the first time. It wasn’t so funny now, when you caught Hyunjin stiffen in his seat out of the corner of your eye. Chan, as small as a consolidation as it was, seemed to catch on that maybe this wasn’t the best conversational topic, but Chaeryoung couldn’t know that and judging by how she was worrying the edge of her dress nervously, visibly uncomfortable in this car ride, you already knew she wouldn’t read the room and stop talking.

“If you go home with him again tonight, which, by the way, I really think you should because that pretty boy is quite the catch, you have to tell us beforehand so we don’t end up looking for you all over the house.”

You just desperately wanted her to not push this topic any further but at this point the damage was done and your fingers were digging into the seat of Chan’s car. Hyunjin’s voice came like an icy cut, cold and with a snide you had barely ever heard from him. In a way, this was even worse than the weekend before, because this time he was sober.

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask what that even was last weekend. I never pegged you to be the type of girl to throw herself at a guy the way you threw yourself at him.”

For a moment no one said anything, the words sinking in. You were honestly struggling to even come up with anything to say because you didn’t find it in you to throw something equally as malicious at his head when you didn’t mean it.

“What the hell, Hyunjin?!”

It was Chan who spoke up instead, sounding somewhere between irritated and furious, and while you were grateful he felt the need to stand up for you, you feared it would only make things worse. “As if you weren’t close to shoving your hand down Chaeyoung’s bikini top right in that pool. A bit hypocritical to call someone out for flirting, don’t you think?”

You knew Chan was judging neither of you for any of that. But he had already told you that if it were any other guy treating you this way he would’ve already punched him. Apparently Hyunjin slut-shaming you was tethering dangerously close to making Chan forget they were friends.

“Of course you’re going to pick her side.”

You weren’t sure whether you had wanted an answer from Hyunjin beyond that, because it was bad enough, but you should have expected that it would only get much worse when Chaeryoung decided she had to defend you, too, probably irritated at the fact that you were not speaking up for yourself. Outstanding qualities in a friend, but right at that moment you wished she would care for you a little less.

“So, when did you realize you have a crush? Before or after she fucked Seonghwa?” Chaeryoung’s voice was a sneer but what was worse was Hyunjin’s reaction upon hearing her words. Chan had barely parked the car, not even killed the engine yet, and Hyunjin stormed out without another word, banging the car door shut with such force all three of you flinched in your seats.

You had thought it couldn’t possibly be more awkward when you’d entered the car, but now with Hyunjin’s dramatic exit you realized you had been dead wrong. Chan was gripping the stirring wheel so hard his knuckles turned white, and you didn’t even need to fully look at Chaeryoung to catch the look of utter shock on her face. In any other situation you’d have laughed, but now you only felt empty and exhausted.

You didn’t know whether either of them was waiting for you to say something or not, but even if they were, there was nothing you could’ve possibly said. You were as affronted as they were, although probably a hell of a lot more hurt. But now that you were already at the party and the damage was done, there was little you could do, so you decided that you would at least try to make it as pleasant as possible for your friends.

“I thought you wanted to meet Hongjoong, what are we sitting around here for?” you quipped up at Chaeryoung instead, the cheerfulness in your voice sounding forced even to you, but it was honestly the best you could do. You were out of the car before either of them could say something and you heard the car doors shut behind you. Of course they wouldn’t simply leave it at that after what had just happened though.

“Are you sure you still want to go?” Chan’s voice was laced thickly with worry while you heard him hurry after you. You were crossing the ridiculously long driveway with big strides, even more grateful you had opted for sneakers instead of anything less comfortable. You didn’t look back, but you knew Chaeryoung had trouble keeping up with the way she was huffing between her words.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know I was bringing up a touchy topic,” she asserted, sounding honestly guilty even though you’d never dream of blaming her for something that she couldn’t have known and wasn’t her fault.

“You’re clearly upset, can we please go get burgers or something instead and talk about this?” Chan was pleading to a rational part of you that had shut down the moment Hyunjin had banged the car door shut with anger. Of course you were upset, but no amount of talking or fast food could change that.

“Chan is right, this party isn’t important, let’s watch Netflix and trash talk Hyunjin instead,” Chaeryoung reinforced Chan’s arguments, but you weren’t even close to agreeing. Hyunjin had ruined enough of your time by making you upset about him. Turning around with an angry huff you shook your head decidedly.

“Guys, I appreciate your concern but it’s fine. I don’t care. Fuck Hwang Hyunjin.”

You found Seonghwa on the first level balcony, a laughably large space with various lounge chairs, a fire crackling in an iron brazier, and its own, second bar. There would definitely be no one leaving sober for a lack of alcohol.

Seonghwa was lounged on one of the lush looking pillows covering the beach chairs, surrounded by a few other people. You hadn’t been introduced to them but you knew them at least by sight, every single one of them infamous on campus in their own regard. Plastering the brightest smile you could muster on your face you crossed the balcony, side-stepping a few drunk people dancing until you reached Seonghwa, who was already looking at you with a dazzling smile, seemingly actually happy to see you.

“Hey angel. I see you put on the fancy shirt for me,” you glanced down, taking short notice of the shirt Seonghwa was talking about, only to confirm with a nod and a grin.

“Of course. I knew you, at least, would appreciate the effort I took.”

He was still wearing that big goopy grin, but you could tell even in the dim light that his eyes were a little unfocused. If the red cups littering the floor around them and the smell of weed were any indication, you weren’t surprised why.

“C’mere,” Seonghwa drawled, one arm wrapping around your leg so he could pull you towards him. You caught yourself by the edge of the lounge chair before you fell like an idiot, letting him move you on his lap until he was satisfied with the way every part of you was pressed against him as close as possible.

“I get horny when I’m high,” he giggled as an explanation, but probably also as an excuse, when his hand immediately slipped under your shirt to draw small circles on the skin of your hips. So, you might have not come here with the intention of letting this thing with Seonghwa progress anywhere further than indulging his nerdier side, but you were confused, hurt, and suddenly letting him comfort you didn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore.

Your evening had been ruined enough already, so it was easy to simply let yourself sink into his touch, enjoying the simplicity of spending time in someone’s company where you didn’t have to think beyond how you’d get home with him. Maybe the fact that Seonghwa’s and Hyunjin’s social circles didn’t really mingle, so the chances of seeing the latter again tonight were slim, did help.

Seonghwa was introducing you to his friends, Wooyoung and San, whose names you had already known by their reputation alone, but pretended not to out of politeness. You thought you were doing great, making polite conversation and laughing at their jokes even though most of them had some context you couldn’t understand since they were a pretty tight-knit group, and had been for years. But apparently you weren’t as smooth as you had thought you were because Seonghwa was pinching your side - a couple of times, judging by the impatient notion of the movement - to rip you out of your thoughts and get your attention.

“Who upset you angel?”

You froze for a second, whipping your head around to look at him, his stupidly perfect eyebrows scrunched in concern despite how drunk he clearly was.

“It’s nothing.” You waved it off, not wanting to get into it. You were looking for distractions, not yet another person to lament your stupid boy troubles to. “I just had a dumb fight on the way here and it’s pissing me off, although I’m trying not to let it.”

You tried to keep it short, not wanting to burden Seonghwa with things he probably didn’t care about. You got along, yeah, but you were far from calling him a friend already and there was probably no way he actually wanted to hear about your problems, despite looking concerned. And even if he did, you had barely talked about them with your closest friends, so you sure as hell wouldn’t with a near stranger, when all you wanted was to get said fight off your mind.

Seonghwa seemed to contemplate your words for a moment – or maybe he was just trying to make sense of them because he looked and sounded positively wasted and high off his ass. You weren’t quite sure which one it was until he bit his lip, hesitant to speak up.

“Just say whatever you want to say, Hwa. It can’t be worse than some things I’ve heard today already,” you sighed, encouraging him to speak up.

“That fight… was it with that Hyunjin guy?”

For a moment you were too shocked to reply, staring at him open-mouthed because if even his drunk and dazed mind had managed to come to that conclusion then you didn’t even want to know how much of this conflict had gotten through to your friends other than Chan.

“It’s- yeah. With him,” you ended lamely, not really knowing what else to say and since he’d already guessed it you might as well go with the truth. After all it had been Seonghwa who had been there last time when you had fought too, so he probably knew more than the people close to you did.

“I take it you did not talk it out?” he implored further, referring to the last fight where you had told Hyunjin that you would talk about it when he was sober, which ended up not happening. You only shook your head in confirmation to his words.

“Can I be honest with you?” the way he asked you knew that if you said no he wouldn’t hold it against you, but you had gone through so much shit the last weeks some part of you wanted someone to be honest and blunt.

“Go ahead,” you nodded, leaning on your arm to sit yourself up a bit higher and look at him properly.

“Truth is, I’ve been wondering how you spend so much time with all these guys and haven’t ended up fucking at least one of them.”

You had expected many things, but you hadn’t expected Seonghwa to say that. You burst out laughing, looking at him incredulously.

“Because we’re friends,” you emphasized, shaking your head in disbelief. “Nothing against friends fucking, but it’s not like that. They don’t think of me that way.”

Your mind immediately went back to the conversation you’d had with Chan and how he’d so nonchalantly mentioned that some of your friends had, indeed, been crushing on you at some point. And you were quite the liar as well, seeing as how you very much had wanted to sleep with Hyunjin, as friends or as more, so at some point at least one person in the group had thought of someone else that way.

Seonghwa seemed to have drawn a similar conclusion.

“Well, one of them clearly does.”

Obviously he meant Hyunjin, and you didn’t know if it made you feel better or worse that even your hook-up was under the impression that Hyunjin apparently was into you. Gnawing on your lip, you didn’t know what to tell him. You hadn’t sorted anything out and you had come to Seonhwa to have a good time, not to talk about your feelings for another guy.

“Tell you what,” Seonghwa finally sighed, seeing how you weren’t going to answer. He was sitting himself up straighter, gently pushing you off his lap and setting you on the space left on the lounge chair next to him. “I think you should go and clear your head. Whatever it is you guys got going on, you haven’t figured it out. As much as I’d enjoy sleeping with you, getting you to ride me is not the solution you seem to think it is. It’s only gonna make you feel more miserable. I’m a big boy, I can handle rejection. And I’m still holding you to that Star Wars marathon, sex or not.”

You couldn’t reply, still processing how drunk and high Seonghwa ended up giving you bette advice than anything you managed to come up with all evening.

“I like you. That’s precisely why I’m not going to sleep with you, because I think you should talk to that Hyunjin dude and at least give him a piece of your mind for being an absolute asshole to someone as stunning as you.”

If you had expected a lot, you had not expected this from Seonghwa. Despite the slur in his words he was making sense and it scared you how reasonable he was being, when he could’ve just used the chance to get you on his dick faster. But he was right, sleeping with him had sounded really smart in your head, but while the sex would make you feel good, the emotional mess you were in would only get worse. And while he didn’t seem to mind, it wasn’t quite fair to use him as a way to try and get over your crush.

“God, I wish I would have fallen for you instead, this is so much easier,” you cursed, gesturing between the two of you and Seonghwa shook his head with a snort.

“You don’t want that, angel, I’m here for good sex but there’s a lot of commitment issues to unpack.”

You rolled your eyes, whacking him on the arm. Now that you had, if not verbally, admitted to him, of all people, that you were in love with Hyunjin, everything somehow seemed much clearer and simpler.

“So, what am I supposed to do now, Hwa?” you implored, hoping that in his infinite weed-induced wisdom Seonghwa would be able to help you yet again, but it seemed his resources of deep advice were all dried up.

“I don’t know, get wasted? Have some really hot angry sex with that guy? Punch him in the dick? Although if it’s the latter I want to watch, ‘kay? Twitch stream it or something.”

You laughed incredulously, not missing how Seonghwa easily managed to make you feel much more relaxed and at ease even though the topic at hand never failed to make you anxious.

“I can’t believe I’m taking advice from you,” you quickly leant in, pecking him on the lips softly and very much innocently one last time, noticing the small pout on Seonghwa’s lips.

“If it goes south, my bed is still free.”

You threw him a thumbs up and rolled your eyes before politely excusing yourself from his friends. Despite what he’d suggested you weren’t about to look for Hyunjin right away. You definitely were not about to punch him in the dick – at least not yet. Rather, you were looking for Chan so he could take you home. Seonghwa’s words did make a lot of sense but tonight simply wasn’t the right time or the right place.

The house was bigger than you had guessed from the outside, a downright labyrinth and after declining a worrying amount of dubious drinks and strolling for thirty minutes without ever seeing the host himself you finally managed to at least find Chan. He hadn’t been picking up his phone so you’d had to resign to searching for him the old fashioned way, relieved when you finally spotted his mop of blond hair and his comforting voice in what seemed to be yet another guest room. He was sprawled on the bed with another familiar face sitting at the foot of the bed, head leant on the mattress. If you had thought Seonghwa was high you hadn’t been ready for Chan and Seokjin. You knew they were both older and had been friends for a while, Chan always ending up at the bar during karaoke Wednesdays to chat with Jin, but you hadn’t known what these two were usually up to when they spent time together. Hyunjin was there too, lying on a sofa with his phone in hand, but you were almost proud you didn’t even spare him more than a glance, almost staying indifferent.

Not knowing if Chan was in any headspace to have a conversation you decide to try your luck.

“Hey Chan, have you seen Chaeryoung?” you weren’t sure whether you should even expect an answer, but since Chan clearly wasn’t ready to take care of you in any way you decided your friend was the next safe option before you’d actually go back to Seonghwa and do something you might regret.

To your surprise he did mumble something in reply that vaguely sounded like ‘Hongjoong’, which you took as a good sign. Maybe this evening had gone the way it was supposed to for your friend at least. It also meant you couldn’t count on her now, but that was alright if it meant she was getting with the guy she’d been drooling over for months.

However, Chan couldn’t possibly drive you, which also meant you were pretty much out of options. As if he was reading your thoughts Chan slowly sat up, soft smile and eyes hazy, holding the blunt he was smoking in your direction.

“You look like you need this,” he offered as an explanation and you cringed a little inwardly at how obvious you were being time and time again.

“That’s very sweet, but no thanks,” you declined, knowing he only meant well, because he always had your best interest in mind. Contemplating what to do now you fell silent for a moment, feeling Chan’s scrutinizing gaze on you. You were hoping he was too out of it to notice that ever since you’d left the car earlier things had become even more of a mess, but you clearly underestimated him.

“What’s up? Wait why are you not with-“ even high he easily interpreted your panicked glare as a sign to shut up. You didn’t want to bring this topic up in front of Hyunjin yet again for the second time tonight, although since he was in the room as well you also couldn’t very well explain to Chan what had happened. Your mind was rattling with ways to come up with an explanation that would be so nondescript it wouldn’t give away your predicament, but it wasn’t necessary, because Chan caught up scarily fast, sending a quick glance towards Hyunjin before focusing back on you.

“You wanna go home?” You did, but Chan was halfway to getting up and there was no way you’d let him make such a phenomenal mistake and drive in this state just so you’d feel better.

“It’s fine Chan, don’t worry. I’ll just call an Uber or something,” you smiled softly to reassure him. “I can probably find someone to drop me off at campus and walk the res-“

“I can take her, you’re not driving tonight anyways Chan,” Hyunjin interrupted, a statement that didn’t leave any room for protest. It didn’t, at least, for Chan, who spoke up before you could decline.

“That’s a fantastic idea!” His enthusiasm was almost worrying, as was the speed with which he was throwing his car keys in Hyunjin’s direction, who caught them easily. The grin on Chan’s face was clearly meant to be conspiratory but he was anything but subtle and you were questioning who he was even directing it to, because you were definitely not on board with this plan of his to reconcile the two of you.

You were still scrambling for an excuse they would let slide but Hyunjin was already in front of you with the keys lazily dangling from one finger. It was only then it filtered through that he, too, was completely sober, just as you were.

“Alright. Let’s go home,” you admitted with a defeated sigh, hoping that all the horrible scenarios you were already making up in your head wouldn’t be coming true. Hyunjin did seem civil and calm, if not almost like the Hyunjin you knew, but it wasn’t enough to make you forgive and forget all the instances he had shown a whole different side of him and never apologized for it.

You were almost grateful he didn’t put his hand on the small of your back when he led you through the crowds of dancing and drunk people as he usually would have, because you weren’t sure you could have handled it.

The car ride was by far one of the worst ones you had ever experienced, which said a lot considering you had thought the same thing earlier tonight yet were already proven wrong. Earlier had been awkward and uncomfortable but at least Chaeryoung and Chan had been there. Now it was only Hyunjin with you in the passenger seat next to him, the silence spanning so awkwardly and tensely it felt almost tangible. You couldn’t shake the underlying feeling that, just like you, Hyunjin was itching to say something yet for some reason the words wouldn’t come. While you could usually read him you hadn’t been able to do that in weeks. You couldn’t fathom why he wasn’t talking. He didn’t seem like he wanted another confrontation, but you also knew that kind words or apologies took far more bravery, something you yourself currently couldn’t muster either.

You’d never been so glad to see your dorm building when Hyunjin finally parked the car. You mumbled a quick ‘thank you’ for driving you home before you almost fled from the car, thinking that you had finally evaded that awfully tense mood between the two of you. You were proven wrong when you heard another car door fall shut behind you, Hyunjin’s steps unmistakably hurrying after you. You squeezed your eyes shut shortly, taking a deep breath to brace yourself before you halted and turned around to face him. He looked so devastatingly beautiful with his long hair, smoky eyes and the smooth skin of his stomach visible. It hurt all the more because of the situation you were in and you wanted him to leave, certain that you couldn’t handle this.

“You can’t park here,” you stated dismissively, nodding towards where he’d left Chan’s car.

“I don’t care,” he huffed, but you thought that he couldn’t possibly be worked up from running a few steps after you, so it had to be something else. “If I don’t do this now it might never happen.”

You knew, of course, what he meant with ‘this’. The talk that was long overdue. What you didn’t know was what he was going to say, and if what he would say would make it worse. But you couldn’t just shut him down, not when you still wanted him back in your life. You terribly missed him and even you weren’t self-sabotaging enough to interfere with something that could possibly fix this. You did turn around and start walking again, guessing that if he wanted this talk he’d follow, and if he didn’t… you didn’t want to go there, even just hypothetically.

You could hear his footsteps distinctly behind you although he wasn’t talking until you were already walking up the staircase to your dorm.

“Why aren’t you with Seonghwa?”

You almost stumbled, ready to explode but the rational part of your brain that was thankfully still working told you that unlike the last couple of times, there was no maliciousness in his tone. You tried to calm yourself with a few deep breaths before answering.

“Would you like me to be?” You almost managed not to sound snappy.

“What do you think?” his answer came almost immediately, but you weren’t having it. He wanted to talk, so he would talk.

“No, Hyunjin, that’s not how this goes.”

He fell silent again and this time you weren’t sure if he’d lost his resolve. He still didn’t talk when you’d reached your door and unlocked it, stopping in the doorframe indecisively. Your hopes of finally fixing this were dwindling fast, but you weren’t planning on letting him in if this was all you would get. You should have just left, but one look at his eyes, incredibly sad, were enough for you to find yourself talking instead.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but Hwa told me to get my head clear and talk to you truthfully. Which is good advice for the both of us, I think. Except we barely even talk anymore, so why did I think that would work?”

You didn’t really expect an answer, even though you knew you were desperately hoping for one. Neither did you leave, even though Hyunjin wasn’t saying anything and you felt an empty pit in your stomach open up. You didn’t know what else to say, and you wanted to leave him there but doing so hurt you probably as much as him, if not more, so you found yourself rooted to the spot despite better judgement. When you couldn’t take it anymore it was you who spoke again, and you were surprised to hear yourself sob when the words finally tumbled over your lips.

“Hyunjin, what happened to us?”

“I don’t know.” This time the answer came immediately, although meek and silent and barely a mumble, and it made you find your resolve again at last.

“You know damn well. You shouldn’t have fingered me on a park bench because you were horny, called me a box to tick on your bucket list and then pretended it didn’t happen.”

“I’m such an idiot.” He sounded thoroughly regretful, but you weren’t done yet now that you’d started.

“Yes, you are. You ruined our friendship because you tried pretending that mistake we made didn’t happen. I was ready to face that but you made me believe you don’t fucking remember.” Technically he had never told you if he had been lying and did remember after all, but by now you were certain even without that confirmation. Him not denying it was as good as one.

“And instead of owning up to it you turn into someone I barely even recognize, hurting me with petty words whenever you, I don’t even know, get jealous? Instead of just talking to me?!”

You were fuming and hurting and you felt wetness coating your cheeks now. The sight of Hyunjin before you would have broken your heart if he hadn’t already done that. He looked as miserable as you felt, hands clenched by his sides, his eyes portraying the same pain you had gone through for the last weeks.

“I thought I’d ruin our friendship if I told you I liked you.”

“So instead you fingered me to get it out of your system? Is that what that was?”

You had heard his confession loud and clear in the quiet hallways, despite his mumbling, but you couldn’t focus on it right now. Chan had been right, Seonghwa had been right, seemingly everyone but you had seemed to know and been correct in their assumptions. But what good did that do when him liking you meant him hurting you?

“I was scared! It would be awkward for you to have a friend be in love with you. You like guys like Yugyeom, or Jaehyun or Hwa-“ he didn’t quite manage to keep the venom out of his voice at the last one “-not me! I was scared out of my mind you would reject me and I’d lose you. But I was drunk that night, and you kept talking about other guys and I realized that eventually I’d lose you to one of them. I couldn’t bear the thought. I shouldn’t have kissed you, but you kissed me back and I thought if that’s all I can have then I’ll take it.”

Hyunjin was talking almost too fast to follow at this point, but for you every single word still felt like forever. It sounded too familiar, too much of a mirror of your own thoughts and feelings. Both of you thinking rushed, drunken kisses were all you could ever have. Both of you dreading the moment the other would be happy with someone else.

“I immediately regretted it. It’s not what I want from you. No, hold on, of course it’s what I want from you. But not like that. I want to hold you after and tell you that I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. God, you’re always so beautiful. I think… I think in a way losing you now showed me that I couldn’t take it.” He hesitated for a moment, stepping one step closer only to hastily move away again as if he barely could hold himself back. “I’m so sorry. I’m gonna leave. I’m- I’m so sorry I hurt you and said all those things to you. You deserve better than as shit of a friend as I have been.”

You were sobbing uncontrolled now, tears filling your eyes so much it was difficult to keep looking at Hyunjin with how much your vision was swimming. You realized he was misunderstanding your reaction because he was clearly as clueless as you and he didn’t understand that you were melting in every way possible because of his words, so you pulled him in, hands clenched in his shirt, face buried in his chest and thankful he immediately reciprocated the hug without hesitation, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you tight.

“Hyunjin, I’ve been in love with you for the past three years,” you finally confessed, the words finally breaking free after having been caged in for so long. Your voice was suffocated by his shirt but you were sure he’d heard you just fine because he stiffened, fingers digging into your back.

“Can you say that again?” his voice was shaky and you giggled through your sobs, leaning back a bit with newfound confidence to look at him.

“I’m in love with you,” you’d thought those words so many times, but you never expected to be saying them to Hyunjin, especially not without feeling any fear of rejection.

“I- I think I should come in,” Hyunjin stuttered, disbelief flooding his voice but he was automatically stepping closer again, the softest smile on his face while his thumb gently wiped over your cheek, smudging the tears more than anything. You agreed, stepping back and finally letting him in. You closed the door after him carefully, discreetly wiping at your tears because you suddenly felt a bit embarrassed at how much his words had made you cry. He didn’t settle down anywhere, even though he’d been here a thousand times and usually made himself at home easily, so you rounded him and sat on the couch, hoping he’d follow your lead. You pulled your knees in and although he sat down in a safe distance, no part of him touching you, it was more of a tentative distance like your confessions were too fresh to quite believe them yet.

“Why did you always try and set me up with other girls?” he finally asked, and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I never saw you hook-up with anyone and I just wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn’t with me.”

“Every time you did that I was even more certain you’d never want me,” he spoke with a desperate frustration that would have been funny if you didn’t realize just how much you had been sabotaging yourself over the years. You had had good intentions, but you’d only accidentally been pushing him away. “Didn’t it hurt to see me with Chaeyoung? Because it sure as hell hurt to see you with Seonghwa.”

“Yeah, I almost didn’t notice,” you couldn’t help put supply sarcastically, not angry at him anymore for his stupid jealous behavior.

“Look, I’m so fucking sorry I behaved like an idiot.” You nodded in agreement, although you were smiling at him softly.

“Of course it hurt. But I told myself it’s what would help me get over you.”

“Did it help?”

“Hyunjin, if I knew how to get over you don’t you think I’d done that in the last three years?”

He looked at you for a moment, biting his lip and you could see he was contemplating something. It became clear when his eyes dropped to your lips for just the fraction of a second, but long enough for you to notice.

“Please just kiss me, I know you’re thinking about it.”

His hands were on your cheeks in a heartbeat, lips pressed against yours without hesitation, the distance between you forgotten.

“It’s all I can think about,” his words were mumbled into your kiss and you felt them as much as you heard them. Even though he was kissing you softly there was an urgency to it that resonated in how you were gripping onto his shirt, as if you both had been craving each other so desperately that you were scared of ever letting go again.

Your soft kisses turned hungry the second his teeth grazed your lower lip, your hands clenching and pulling him closer. You were utterly overwhelmed, your head swimming but you never wanted to stop kissing him again. His teeth and tongue were caressing your lips until you were panting softly and he used the moment to slip his tongue into your mouth, finally deepening the kiss.

You almost moaned, the kiss so much more intense than it had been the last time because you both knew you had been fantasizing about this for too long. His hands, initially caressing your cheeks, slipped down to your neck and into your hair. The feeling had you shaking with anticipation and you tangled your own fingers through his hair. You pulled a little, just to see the reaction you could elicit, and when he groaned you completely disregarded holding back. The sound was sweet like honey washing down your body and you pulled your leg over his lap. His hands immediately grabbed onto your thighs and you yelped when he lifted you up with him, stumbling a little.

“Bedroom,” he stated, his voice a bit breathless and you could only nod, a husky and surprisingly needy ‘yes’ drowned out when he leant in to peck your lips again. He knew the way to your bedroom by heart, settling down on your bed a bit clumsily while pulling you on his lap again immediately. Wiggling a little to readjust your thighs on either side of his you relished in his reaction, a subtle shiver washing over his body. You moved your hips again, more purposely this time, grinding yourself down on his crotch in a slow rhythm. You could tell he was holding back by the way his knuckles pressed into the bedsheets turned white from clenching so hard. It only urged you on, your hands resting on his shoulders for stability while you pressed your thighs tighter, rolling your hips against him so closely you could feel him twitch inside his pants against your center. For a short moment you contemplated making him come just like that because watching his reactions you were sure you could, but Hyunjin stopped you, his hands settling on your hips when he finally managed to pull his thoughts together.

To your disappointment he readjusted you on his lap, moving you away from the hard bulge in his pants. You were pouting and he must have noticed because he chuckled, biting his plush bottom lip and moving some of the blonde strands already sticking to his forehead off his skin with one hand.

“Bunny, I’ve fantasized about sleeping with you so many times. I can’t come in my pants now.”

His words turned your pout into a giggle immediately, a hand dropping to his crotch and palming his bulge just enough to get a reaction out of him, his head falling back and focus lost again temporarily. His groans were the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard and you pushed him a little further, causing his self-restraint to crumble. Just the way your hands felt on him even through his pants was too much after he had dreamed about feeling you, having you touch him, so many times.

“Fuck. Fuck- you gotta stop, please,” his voice was somewhere between a groan and a whimper and you palmed him once more, not wanting to stop touching him before you gave in and stopping teasing, letting him catch his breath until he was looking at you again.

His eyes were flitting from your face to your body and back, as if he didn’t know which part of you to look at and it sent warm tingles all over your skin. His eyes were holding so much appreciation and warmth despite the fact that he was painfully hard, and you could tell he wanted to draw this out and savor every second he could finally have you on his lap and needy for him.

Even though you stopped touching him you couldn’t entirely stop teasing him. Grabbing onto the hem of your shirt you swiftly pulled it off, his gaze going to your chest immediately, still covered in a black bra.

His lip was pulled between his teeth again and you decided to push a step further, unclasping the bra and letting it slip off your arms and land on the floor.

The whimper falling over Hyunjin’s lips was divine. The hand still on your thighs was clenching, digging his fingers into your skin hard to resist the urge of ravishing you without holding back. You were driving him crazy with everything you did. The way you knew exactly how much you were testing his self-restraint, undressing on his lap, topless and nipples hard.

And as much as you loved his reactions, seeing how much you were affecting him even though you were barely doing anything, you could feel how wet you were and you were dying to have him touch you and fuck you into the mattress until your throat was raw from screaming his name.

You leant in, lips ghosting over his neck, hoping that your words would finally push him over the edge and kill his self-control.

“You can touch me, Hyunjin.” His name was a raspy breath on your lips, washing over his skin and his fingers clenched once more on your thigh before he was palming your tits. You bit down on his neck, his fingers pinching your nipple and eliciting a deliciously painful sensation. He clearly noticed, repeating the motion, teasing your hard nipples and caressing you until you were holding onto his shoulders again, arching into his hands, the kisses on his neck faltering.

“Hyunjin, you don’t need to hold back for my sake,” you whined, pushing him further, your voice not much above a whisper because you were so desperate to feel him. “You can do whatever you want to me. I trust you.”

The moment you said the words you realized it was true. You trusted him more than you had realized despite everything that had happened between you the last weeks. It was worth finally knowing that he ached as much for you as you had for him.

His reaction to your words wasn’t immediate. Instead he stilled for a second and or the shortest moment you were worried you might have done something wrong or overstepped some unknown line, but then his hand wrapped into the strands of your hair falling over your neck and Hyunjin pulled hard.

You gasped in surprise, the sting running straight to your center and causing your hips to buck, your neck bared to Hyunjin. But he completely ignored it, instead going straight to biting down your chest and finally sucking on your nipple. At the feeling of his lips wrapped around your perked nipple, tongue flicking over it, your brain shut down. A loud, raspy curse fell over your lips and it was the reaction that finally broke Hyunjin and made him throw all restraint away. The need to have you moan his name with his dick inside you was too overwhelming to draw this out, even if he planned to savor every moment as much as possible.

His hand ran up your thigh, diving under your skirt without hesitation and dropping to your wet panties, moving them aside easily. You didn’t have time to process what was going on before he had his fingers running up your slit and between your folds, coating them in your wetness enough so he wouldn’t hurt you, before he slipped both fingers into you.

It didn’t compare to last time, not by far. Either times you could feel he wanted you, but this time he was finger fucking you with the knowledge that you want him, you were wet for him and only for him and you trusted him. It made the curl of his fingers against your walls all the more delicious, wrecking your throat with moans.

“Open my pants,” he was barely forming a full sentence, focused on the way he was shoving his fingers deep inside you to feel you clench around him. “Need to be inside you.”

The words ran straight down between your legs and to his fingers pressing into you.

“Fuck, okay.” You weren’t sure if you were actually nodding or not, your fingers shaking when they settled on his belt, but you couldn’t manage much beyond fumbling with the buckle, fingers too weak and shaking too much to open it. You couldn’t concentrate on anything but the way he was fucking you open with his fingers, giving up after another clumsy attempt and slumping against Hyunjin instead. Your face was buried in his neck and when he pushed into you and spread his fingers you all but forgot anything but fucking yourself deeper onto his fingers. He met the movement of your hips, allowing you to pick the pace until you were a mess, his name etched into his skin with your voice repeatedly moaning it.

“Bunny, can you ride me, or do you want me on top?”

“Top,” you gasped out, clambering off of Hyunjin’s lap while he was slipping his fingers out of you. “Want you to fuck me.”

“God, you’re killing me,” Hyunjin cursed while fumbling a little himself to pull off his pants and underwear. You would have been glad about the payback of him struggling to get out of those tight pants after he’d tortured you with his looks all night, but right now you desperately wanted him, too much to care about any petty feelings.

He was already gripping the hem of that cursed top, eyes fully focused on you kneeling on your bed, and when he stilled you knew he caught on to how you were biting your lip to hold yourself back from saying something.

“Want me to keep this on?” His tone was way too cocky for how hard his dick was and how rattled he already looked, but somehow he still managed. You were still biting down on your lip, unwilling to admit just how much you liked that shirt on him but it wasn’t necessary. “Yeah, you do,” Hyunjin supplied instead with an impossibly cocky smirk, crawling up to you on your bed, surprising you when he gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, a stark contrast to how confidently he had been teasing you just a moment ago.

“Knew I could drive you crazy showing up in this shirt.”

And it was true, but it wasn’t even half the truth.

“Hyunjin, you always drive me crazy.” It wasn’t the words you had expected to come out of your mouth but it was true and you realized you liked telling him those things. Now that there was nothing to be scared of you wanted him to know just how much you liked him, just how much he was on your mind.

He didn’t respond, instead pushing you back onto the mattress and kissing you so deeply it left no doubt he felt just the same way.

The kiss was a tangle of tongue and teeth, biting on your lips and your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. Hyunjin’s own hand was on your waist to support you, and you could feel his length against your center. He was so incredibly close to slipping inside you, anticipation building in your stomach like liquid fire. You bucked your hips impatiently, causing him to moan into the kiss.

“Shit I don’t have a condom?” Hyunjin breathed, the words barely strung together, lips not separating from yours by more than a breath. “You okay with-“

“God, yes please.”

You knew you shouldn’t be doing this even though you were on birth control, but you wanted Hyunjin so much all your rational thoughts seemed to shut down around him.

It didn’t seem to be going much better for him either, because you had barely said the words when he finally pushed inside you. You were so wet it didn’t hurt at all, and he was stretching you just the right way, not quite painful but filling you up perfectly. Your hand was tangled in his hair, nails digging into his scalp slightly when he was fully settled inside you. He wasn’t moving, and through the haze in your mind you thought he was waiting for your okay until you looked at him and realized he wasn’t even focused on you, his eyes closed and shorter strands of hair falling in front of his face.

“Hyunjin,” you breathed, rolling your hips in emphasis because you desperately wanted him to move. He inhaled sharply, fingers on your hips digging into your skin.

“Hold on – wait. You feel so fucking good. I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

You couldn’t stop the giggle from slipping over your lips at the confession. Even with his dick inside you he managed to made your stomach flutter.

You gently slipped your hand from his hair, caressing his cheek and tucking the loose, sweaty strands of hair behind his ear.

“Take your time baby,” you softly spoke, the pet name flowing naturally, and you felt him shiver softly under your hands in response. “You already make me feel good like this.”

And you meant that, but the reassurance seemed to be enough because the next thing you knew was your nails digging into his shoulder blades when he almost bottomed out only to push back deep inside you. The gentleness from a second ago all but dissipated and when you’d told him you already felt good you hadn’t been prepared for just how good he could make you feel.

Hyunjin was leaning on his arms next to your head, lips ghosting down your neck, pushing into you at a relentless rhythm. You were trying to match his thrusts but he was fucking into you so good, hitting a spot that made the muscles in your legs contract.

You gave up after a couple more thrust, melting into the mattress instead, clutching onto Hyunjin with weak arms while he kept hitting that sweet spot perfectly with every push into you.

Hyunjin, ever the vocal person, kept gasping your name, slipping in praises matched with his thrusts and you couldn’t do much beyond reveling in the feeling of him fucking you into the mattress so well your whole body felt like it was on fire. Warmth was tingling all over your skin and you couldn’t even gather the words to tell him how well he was fucking you, how close you were.

But he could tell by the way you were gasping, moans swallowed by how breathless you were, clenching around his dick every time he rutted into you until he was struggling to hold back his own orgasm. His hand slipped between you, finger drawing soft circles on your clit and it was enough to finally topple you over the edge and have you see stars.

“Baby I’m gonna- fuck-“ your words turned into whimpers when your orgasm washed over you, skin tingling all over and blood rushing in your ears.

“’M gonna pull out-“ Hyunjin started and you were sure your nails were leaving marks by how hard you held him back in response, keeping his body pressed up against yours, nipples rubbing against his shirt with delicious friction.

“No, please come inside, wanna feel you come inside me,” you were whining, the sound foreign to your own ears but it was enough to convince Hyunjin, whose groan next to your ear was enough to send another wave of shivers racking down your body. You could barely register the unsteady rhythm he picked up again, dick twitching inside you when you felt yourself clench around him again, waves of your orgasm running through your body and finally pulling him over with you. You felt his warm cum spill inside you, his face pressing into your skin, a loud moan etched into your skin, followed by a string of praise. Hyunjin was telling you how good you felt, how much he loved fucking you, punctuated by uneven thrusts carrying him through his orgasm.

You didn’t know how long it took until you could gather any coherent thought again. Your skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, Hyunjin slumped on top of you with his face still buried in your neck and breathing hard. He was still inside you, his length gone soft and you knew if he pulled out you’d be making a mess of your bedsheets but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret having him come inside you, not when you had never felt more satisfied and thoroughly fucked out.

“Promise you’ll ride me next time, bunny?” Hyunjin almost purred against your skin, still out of breath but his hands were already drawing soft patterns on your chest, small kisses pressed against your neck.

“You’ve been thinking about that a lot, haven’t you?” you giggled, trying to suppress a shiver when his thumb brushed your nipple. “I can’t make promises if you make me this weak every time, Hyunjin. I feel like my legs are jelly.”

“Mh, did I fuck you that well?” Despite his crude words his tone was soft and teasing and you could tell by his tone that he was smiling. It made the butterflies in your stomach flutter yet again, and it seemed like they hadn’t calmed down ever since Hyunjin had confessed his feelings earlier. “I didn’t even try, I wonder what would happen if I did?”

When he pulled out of you you were almost embarrassed by the whimper escaping your mouth. You were still way too sensitive, and the feeling of his soft dick slipping out of you, followed by his cum was almost too much to take.

Your hands slipped off his back when he moved up to his knees, readjusting his position so he could run his lips down your collarbones and chest. Realizing where this was going when his hair was tickling your stomach and his hand trailed down to the inside of your thigh, that point already so sensitive you felt an involuntary shiver run through you, you quickly carded your hand through his hair to stop him.

“Hyunjin I don’t think I can-“ He stopped you with a wolfish grin, his fingers wandering from your thigh to your center, ghosting over it so softly he was barely touching you, but even that was already too much. “Fuck, Hyunjin, I’m so sensitive.”

“Want me to stop?” Despite his intentions concern laced through his voice and you knew he would stop if you said so right now. You didn’t say anything, just weakly shook your head while you felt his grin ghost over your skin, down your stomach until his teeth grazed your inner thighs, a hard shudder raking over your body. You knew you wouldn’t be able to take much but you wanted this so bad, didn’t want to let go of Hyunjin, for him to stop treating you as if you were the most precious thing on earth to him.

When he finally licked a soft stripe along your center, tasting himself and you mixed from your orgasms you almost thought you would black out. You were dizzy from your first orgasm, breath already raspy and Hyunjin’s lips and tongue were almost too much. He made sure not to run his tongue over your clit, careful not to send you in overdrive already. Instead, he resorted to soft kitten licks that only mixed his saliva with the mess he had already left between your legs and made you clench around nothing. His fingers were caressing your thighs, holding you in place just enough so you couldn’t clamp your legs shut.

You were gasping, struggling to keep up because all you could feel was the tingling sensations Hyunjin was sending all over your body with his tongue. You vaguely registered that you were whimpering, small little sounds that mixed with his name and your nails were digging into the bedsheets.

You weren’t even sure you could come again already, not when you felt too sensitive to handle Hyunjin’s tongue between your legs, but you were proven wrong when he finally let his mouth run up to your clit.

“Ohmygod I-“ you couldn’t finish the sentence properly, not sure where you would have gone with it either way, because Hyunjin’s lips were wrapped around your clit and he was sucking and you were seeing stars and you couldn’t hear how he was praising you over your desperate gasps.

It took a while before you realized Hyunjin was splattering your neck and chest with soft kisses, meant to caress and help you calm down until you weren’t shaking anymore, his hands lazily wrapped around your waist.

“You good?” he finally asked with a sweet smile when your gaze was finally focused on him, but you could tell by the glint in his eyes that he knew just fine that you were more than good thanks to him.

You took a moment to let your eyes run over him and take in every detail, the loose strands of black hair fluttering into his face and sticking to his forehead. His eyes, sparkling with admiration that made your heart melt. The beauty mark under his eye, his softly sloped nose. His lips, swollen and glistening wetly, pulled into a smile that was so much Hyunjin that you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning in and pressing a light kiss to his mouth.

“What do you think?” you mused in response finally, pressing another quick peck to his lips, a smile gracing yours when he whined when you pulled away.

You thought that you could stay like this with him forever, just Hyunjin and you together, so clearly head over heels for each other that you didn’t understand how both of you hadn’t seen it sooner. But the moment was broken up when the front door banged open so unceremoniously you could almost feel the dent in the wall, and your name was shouted through the dorm room way louder than it should be in the middle of the night.

“Shit,” you cursed under your breath, scrambling out from under Hyunjin, grasping for something to pull on and settling on his shirt because it was the first thing you could grab that would cover not just your chest but the entirety of the sticky mess he had left between your legs. Not that covering it up would discard any doubt of what you had just done. It was still highly uncomfortable and you were pulling down the shirt over your legs as far as it would go from where you were sitting, while Hyunjin was desperately trying to put on his underwear without falling and breaking his neck. He looked even worse than you probably, everything from his hair to his lips giving away that he’d just had sex, if him only being in his underwear wouldn’t have already done so. But there was no time to fix anything else before Chaeryoung, followed by Felix, Seungmin and Chan burst into your room, all of them cramming in together. Both Chaeryoung and Chan were very clearly coming straight from the party, one drunk and the other still very stoned, but Felix and Seungmin had clearly come to pick them up. They were completely sober and thus assessed the situation in front of them way faster than the other two.

Felix had the decency to at least blush, although he still didn’t hold back the grin sneaking on his face. Seungmin, much worse, fished money out of his pocket and casually handed it to Chan.

“Bro, I told you I’m not betting on this!” the other replied, his whole reaction lacking gravity because he was just ridiculously calm even though his words sounded like he would have protested stronger under different circumstances.

Seungmin just shrugged and pocketed his money again, but you didn’t have time to dwell on the fact that he had clearly wanted to bet on whether you were sleeping with Hyunjin or not, because Chaeryoung finally showed her very belated reaction by simply screeching at a volume that was nothing but irritating and could be interpreted in many ways. It almost drowned out the beeping of Seungmin’s phone, who nonchalantly turned the screen towards you and Hyunjin so you could see the messages in the group chat.

“Can’t believe you two were even worse than Jisung and Karaoke Girl. Jeongin says ‘fucking finally’ by the way.”

You didn’t need to read the messages to know that everyone in your group knew about you and Hyunjin before you yourself had even properly processed the entire night, but it was just as well. You had already been annoyingly touchy before, and this way at least they had time to prepare for the fact that there was no way you would keep your hands off each other ever again now.

#hyunjin #hyunjin smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #hwang hyunjin #guys im SO sorry i initially forgot about the taglist #i was posting this at work when my boss wasn't in the room lmao i was STRESSED #i hope i didnt forget anyone!!

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depressopax · 15 days

Text

The first - Part 1

Fandom - Breaking Bad/Better call Saul

Pairing: Multiple characters x gender-neutral reader (Nacho, Jesse, Kim, Jimmy, Mike, Howard) Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort, one-shots Warning(s): Mentions of sexual tension, weed and alcohol. Cuss words Words: 1.5k Summary: The first kiss with the BrBa/BCS characters English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 »» AO3 link || Masterlist || Request ««

The first kiss

Nacho

You and Nacho had been friends for quite a while during this time. One day, you were chilling in his house and talking and it kinda just happened. Having a complicated life, Nacho was scared to drag you - one of the people he cares about mostly - into it. But the sexual tension between the two of you reached a tipping point when you got into the topic of relationships.

“If things were easier, maybe I’d actually have time to find love” Nacho sighed.

“You deserve to be happy, Nacho.”

“I am. With you.” He realized how it sounded and shook his head. “...Nevermind.”

But you’d heard enough to know you were not crazy. He liked you, too. Without another word, you pressed your lips against his. At first, he responded but soon pulled back.

“We shouldn’t.”

“I know.”

Silence fell, and after a moment, you stood up, walking to the door before you felt Nacho grab your arm. Before given the chance to react - he spinned you around and pulled you into a kiss. With his palm cupping your face, he kissed you in a way no one had done before. It was passionate and needy. Afterwards, he held onto you, breathing hot air at you whilst your foreheads pressed against each other.

“Stay.”

You nodded.

“I’m not going anywhere”

Jesse

Jesse invited you to one of his parties and since you liked him, you decided to go. Little did you know, he felt the same… Opening the door to the house, you were hit by loud music, loud voices and the smell of alcohol, sweat and weed. At least 20 people in the living room vibing to the music whilst getting drunk and high. You felt a bit disoriented entering the place, directly scanning the place for Jesse. You found him sitting in the living room together with the friends Skinny Pete and Badger. When seeing you he smiled and greeted you.

“Yo! I’m glad you made it here.” After hugging you he dragged you along to the kitchen. “Something to drink?”

“Yes please!” After handing you a beer, the two of you sat down next to Jesse’s friends and talked. They kept glancing at the two of you and grinning, like they knew something you didn’t.

“Man… You’re so down bad for them, Jesse.” Badger mumbled whilst smoking his joint. Jesse looked like he wanted to murder his best friend on the spot, whilst Pete just laughed. So that’s what they were grinning about…

“Is that right, Jesse?”

“I…” He stuttered an explanation, but none was needed.

“Maybe I like you too?”

“If you’re playing with me right now…”

“Jesse.” You said firmly. “I mean it.”

After that, Jesse basically grabbed your hand and walked out of the house, with his friends whistling and laughing at the scene.

“Sorry ‘bout them. They’re such damn jerks.” Jesse muttered and looked at the night sky, his face turned away from you to hide the blush.

“You like me.”

“And you like me, too?”

“Yea.”

“Perfect.”

Without realizing it, the two of you had moved closer to each other. When he leaned down, you didn’t hesitate. It was like you could taste the smoke on his soft lips as you kissed. It was intoxicating. Afterwards, you both looked at the sky.

“We should have done that a long time ago.”

“Yea”

Kim

Kim was overworking herself - as usual. And being her worried friend, you couldn’t stand the sight of it. During her lunch break, you went to her office at HHM only to find her buried in paperwork.

“Kim, for fuck sake…”

She barely noticed your presence so you had to walk up to her and tap her shoulder.

“Hey…” she said absent-mindedly.

“Kim…”

“I’ll be done soon, don’t worry”

“You’ve said that for days, Kim.”

“Yea? Well why don’t you-” realizing she was about to snap at you, she went quiet really fast and looked at you in shame “I’m sorry.”

After some convincing, she finally agreed to leave the office and let you buy her a coffee. Seeing her holding the warm paper cup containing cappuccino melted your heart. She looked so calm, for once.

“I’m worried for you.”

“That’s sweet of you… But really, I’m fine.”

You were not satisfied with the reply, and she noticed that - since you had stopped walking.

“Hey… What’s the matter?” she said softly and threw the empty cup in a near bin before standing before you.

“I care about you, Kim. I don’t want you burned out…”

She stroked your cheek, and you could no longer hold back the feelings you harbored. When you kissed her, she didn’t pull back. Rather, she pulled you closer to her.

“Will you stop nagging if I take the afternoon off?” You could only nod in reply, still in shock after the kiss.

Jimmy

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Hmmm? What?” you looked at Jimmy, who drove the car. “Yea, of course. You told me about some clients.”

“...If I bore you out that badly, just tell me, sugar.” he muttered before parking the car.

“You don’t bore me, Jimmy.”

“Sure seems like it.”

He left the car and you had to run after him.

“Look, I’m sorry… It’s just, I’m worried, I guess.”

“Worried? Why?”

“You should hear yourself sometimes, Jimmy.” You hissed. “You’re dealing with some dangerous people. And you always put yourself in shit situations!”

“I got this! Ok?!”

“Yea, sure you do. Sure.”

He rolled his eyes and continued walking.

“Why do you even care?” he grumbled. You had to bite your tongue to not say anything stupid. Because what could you even say? “...And you’re back to ignoring me. Thank you, sweetie.”

“Because I just care, ok?” Tears burned in your eyes, and now he noticed.

“Hey… Sweetheart-” he sighed, seeming uncomfortable with your emotions. “I’m sorry, ok?”

He squeezed your shoulder.

After a minute of awkward silence, he tried lightening the mood with saying:

“You got a lil crush on good ol’ Jimmy, eh?” Your reaction told him everything. “You do??” he chuckled.

“...Idiot.”

“Your idiot.” he murmured before stepping closer - he tilted your head up and forced you to look at him.

“I knew you got the hots for me, sugar. Don’t worry. I feel the same.”

And then he kissed you. At first, you wanted to pull away. You were still angry at him - after all.

But it’s hard to be mad at someone that kisses you like that.

And the way he smiled against your lips - Oh god…

Mike

You had just found out about Mike’s work, and just what he does for his boss Gus Fring. And you were not happy. Saying “you needed to think”, you rushed out from his place.

“Can you at least let me explain?” Mike hissed, following you - one step behind.

“Mike…”

“Please.” Something in his voice had changed. It went from the usually calm but firm tone - to a pleading one. It caught you off guard and you turned around to look at him. He seemed stressed.

“What?” you muttered.

“Please, let me explain.”

And seeing how desperate he seemed, you couldn’t say no. So you listened to him, letting him tell you about his career and why he did it.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Why would I?” he scoffed, but quickly realised how harsh it sounded. Before you had a chance to leave again, he grabbed your hand.

“Because I care about you. I’m not pulling you into my bullshit.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his next words…

“I can’t lose you. Please.”

And then…

He kissed you. Just like that. And how could you pull away, when you’d been dreaming of this moment for so long?

The kiss said more than thousands of words.

Everything made sense now.

Howard

You had known Howard for quite a while and he invited you out for lunch during one of his breaks.

“Over here!” you saw him sitting by a two-person table at the restaurant, waving at you with a big smile. You joined him.

“Jeez, Howard! This place looks… Expensive!”

“Only the best lunch restaurant in town!” He said cheerfully, but you could sense some sort of… Nervousness? In his voice. “Tell me about your day!”

“Well uhm… It was-” He looked at you intensely. It was both cute but a bit weird. “...Are you ok?”

“Of course!”

After lunch - which he insisted on paying - you tagged along when he walked back to HHM and his office. Before saying goodbye, he stopped you.

“Wait! I actually need to talk to you.”

“Alright… Shoot.”

“I…” he gathered his thoughts and cleared his throat before continuing - or at least trying to. “I kinda… Y’know…”

You couldn’t help but smile. The blush said everything.

“Howard…” you cooed, and then leaned in and kissed him. He was startled, but then kissed you back and sighed in relief at you initiating this.

“Was that what you were trying to say?”

“Y-yea…”

“Well… I definitely feel the same.”

AHSHSHS this is prob one of my cheesiest one-shots yet- HOPE Y'ALL LIKED IT EITHER WAYS <3 Next part will be "First date". If you like this concept like, comment or reblog! Would mean a lot. :) MWAHHH

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teopatra · 8 months

Text

💙 Happy Blue Moon🌕 💙

💙🌕💙🌕💙💙💙🌕🌕🌕🌕💙💙💙🌕💙🌕💙

Posts like these you don’t sea 👁️ often .. maybe once every blue moon 🧿👄🧿

🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️

Todays pick a pile messages are songs since Pisces energy and full moons are likened to mermaids whom are know for being sirens 🚨 🧜🏽‍♀️ 🧜‍♂️

Message 1:

During the full moon transit you’ll feel like there is a stillness in their air. Kind of like when the ocean gets eerily calm before a storm. A peaceful terror. You could feel the urge to be by yourself more or hermit in your own energy; it will befit you to turn off your devices and just listen to the sounds around you and your mind. The best thing you can utilize your phone for right now is noting your synchronicities and your feelings. If you notice people being distant don’t take it personally, but pay attention to how that makes you feel and the conversations people have with you especially your tone. Others you know are facing introspection and are delving into the deepest parts of their psyche. The intensity of repressed emotions may be too much for most to handle. I noticed my social media page engagements are lower than normal today, it reminds me of a ghost town with nothing but tumble weeds lol that’s the energy of this Pisces full moon. Work with quartz crystals, protect your immune system and indulge in a warm bath, shower, or foot soak since Pisces rules the feet.

Message 2:

At this time you will experience MORE lucid dreams. Pay attention to the people in your dreams and what these particular people may say to you in your dreams. It’s one thing to be lucid in the dream state but it’s another to wake up with dream amnesia. Why is that? Bc something in your waking life is not aligned with your higher self meaning you could indulging in bad habits like not getting enough rest and over saturating your third eye with too much media. You’re prob a creative person or a water sign so you should be clearing your mind. Create something that is visually stimulating for you to aid in your create process and ease/unload the mind; mercury rx is cashing a lot of mental tension rn. A salt bath, a foot soak with pink Himalayan salt or you may need to gargle with salt water to unblock throat chakra blockages. Try sleeping next to grounding crystals and dream enhancing crystals like blue apatite. Also don’t sleep directly next to your phone, turn TV’s, mirrors, phones, tablets, and other types of black mirrors away from your bed if you can. If not try covering them with a towel or something light. Work on protecting your aura and strengthening your auric field

Message 3:

Worrying about an ex at this time is unhealthy for you. As much as you may think this person will change it’s not up to you to focus on them, pour into yourself wholeheartedly and you’ll see where your shadow work needs to be done and why you feel the need to give to someone who probably doesn’t have your best interest at this time. I see a lot of people from your past being nostalgic over you, but that is none of your concern anymore. Turn from the past and be open to all possibilities ( this is the mantra for piscerian energy). Your destiny is waiting for you, but you are holding on to your karmic energy. The moon has met up with Saturn as he’s been transiting Pisces since the beginning of the year, so challenge yourself to let go of the things that aren’t serving you and you know what they are. Also everyone seems to be on edge so it’s best to just be quiet stay out the way and mind your business until mercury retrograde blows over. If you’ve been overindulging in tarot stop, OR you may notice that tarot isn’t resonating with you lately like it used to. Try intuitive games to improve your own cartomancy or tarot skills if you’re into that

Message 4:

I see you have done a lot of shadow work over the years and it has caused you to feel a bit isolated at times and that’s because others have not done ENOUGH self development therefore you are not resonating with most people. You are supposed to soar and it may feel lonely at the top but know that you are an example of Christ consciousness to those around you. you are a beacon of light that illuminates a path behind you. You are not a flash light searching for dark spots. Reward yourself for how far you’ve come and don’t stop because this is how you will romanize your life turning fantasies into reality. The full moon wants you to relax and to plan ahead so you can have a more fulfilled day. Pisces is a mutable sign meaning ever changing , therefore this energy can be a bit sporadic. Which isn’t always bad, BUT I see time can easily evade you if your daily intentions aren’t set properly. You’ll see what I mean if you haven’t already. I see you thinking back on this post weeks later like ohhhh now I get it. 🤭 also eat some more vegetables, try making more home cooked meals bc it’ll be therapeutic .

Message 5:

Please be mindful that with most people in their late 20’s experiencing their Saturn returns with the moon currently in the same sign as Saturn may force you to observe people change for the better or for worse. It all depends on one’s karma and the work they’ve chosen to do or lack thereof. With the sun being n Virgo and Virgo being the sign of the hermit, the change of season will cause you and others to recluse and maybe even become lethargic. For example during this time of year most people go back to school, and as the older generation phases out and retires, the old “students” are the new teachers. I see a lot of millennials changing the dynamics of school systems compared to how we experienced it growing up. You are the future, help your inner child and inner teenager even if you’re an adult by connecting with those younger than you. If YOU are a teenager pay attention to those in their mid to late twenties. A lot of times we think our lives are going to go certain ways and end up something completely diff. Just know that if you’re aspiring to do something that may not need a traditional education don’t waste your money going to school for something you don’t even really wanna do or you’re doing it for just the money or to satisfy family. Find the moon tonight and do some moon gazing , stare at her and let your mind wonder off; your higher self will handle the rest.

Message 6:

People want to know what you’re up to 👀 I see you have a magnetic energy like the moon. People stare at you like they do the moon, for some reason I see you’re a walking personification of a mirrored portal. You are a conduit of the higher dimensions, you see a person but they see you as a hypnotic metronome. Just like the effect the full moon has on mythological creatures like mermaids and werewolves, I’m seeing you know you had some time of power of psychic gift but you’ll begin to resonate with being other worldly as your gifts play out in front of you. Pisces energy is about illusions and for some reason you create an optical illusion that doesn’t play tricks on peoples eyes but their minds 😵‍💫 THIS message will only resonate with a small few but please comment if you experience any weird nuisances. With great power comes great responsibilities, be careful not to put people in trances at the wrong time, don’t stare at people back if they stare at you but if it’s a lover stare and you’ll both take an astral trip. Please move in silence at this time and work on grounding. Going into hermit mode will benefit you and please don’t get distracted by lust bc I see that being the side effect of this heightened power rn like a hungry vampire. Also stop trying to be captain sage a h*e and realize how earthly you’ve been, lighten your aura in weight.

🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌖🌗🌘🌜

🩻This is your time to illuminate the truth deep within you bc you already hold the answers you seek.. there’s no research to be done at this time because you have spent the time and effort. Now you are reaping the rewards

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kitchen-spoon · 10 months

Text

Rockstar Eddie 90’s Drabble {steddie}

Steddie I 2.7k I 1/1

Sorry for any spelling mistakes etc..

Its 1992 and corroded coffin has made it big. Eddie and the band are famous now, selling out stadiums and living their dreams. He is one of the most talked about metal musicians of the era. And to make it even better Steve has been there for all of it since 1987 technically earlier but it took them awhile to get their shit together.

Being famous means getting to live with luxuries and Eddie loves spoiling Steve with them. Going to the spa was a big hit. Eddie was nervous at first but knowing Steve and his penchant for self care especially hair care he should have know it would soon become one of Steve’s favourite indulgences. Which is exactly why Eddie was suggesting it for their current situation.

As time went on all the upside down action began to catch up with everyone in the party but Steve especially. Chronic migraines, memory issues and random bouts of nausea just being the start of it. When they moved to California it was Gareth that brought up the idea of using marijuana medicinally, siting his uncle who had been using it for his arthritis for years.

Steve was hesitant at first, ever since star-court he had stayed away from anything stronger cigarettes but as time went on things were only going to get worse so he gave it a chance. As predicted it did not go well at first. Steve was already an anxious hyper vigilant person and the weed just heightened that, making him extra paranoid. But with work and a lot of patience from Eddie they found a way to make it work. They made a routine and stuck to it every-time which was why Steve was so thrown for a loop when Eddie suggested he take some edibles before they hit up a spa in the city.

“I know its scary baby but think of it as a trial run for Europe.” Eddie took Steve’s hands in his own, ducking his head down to catch his boyfriends eyes. “The tour starts in a month, and you know how flying affects your migraines, especially long flights.”

Steve bit his lip, “It does get really bad.” He sighed. “But I don’t know, I got so freaked out with just you and the guys around. I don’t think being in public is gonna go better than that.”

“Then I’ll rent out the spa.” Eddie said immediately like it was the easiest thing in the world and not a thousands of dollar decision. For Eddie though spoiling Steve was the easiest thing in the world money truly was no object and would never be enough to show his gratitude for how fiercely Steve stuck by his side during his and the band’s rocky climb to fame.

“Eddie no.” Steve shook his head, unable to hold back his smile.

Eddie couldn’t help but smile back “Fine what if we go somewhere more exclusive, less people.” He raised his eyebrows. “Less chance of being recognized too, everyone there will be so rich and up their own ass they won’t care about lil ‘ol me.”

“I’ll consider it. But we also need to outline a plan and have a quick evacuation set up.” Steve tried to sound stern but he knew he was already going to give in to his boyfriend’s plan.

“Consider it done Stevie.” Eddie squeezed Steve’s hands as he got up. “I’ll take good care of you baby don’t worry.” He leaned down and gave his boyfriend’s forehead a kiss before disappearing off into his office.

***

Eddie’s new plan consisted of them driving out 2 hours to Joshua Tree where he had an emergency hotel booked and one of their regular drivers on stand by incase they needed to make a hasty exit. He also got the edibles from their regular source and was sure to check the dosage 3 times over before letting Steve even look at them.

About 30 minutes away from the Spa Steve ate the gummy’s. That ensured he was still be sober during their check in which he insisted and gave him 30 minutes to acclimatize to the environment before they started to kick in.

Steve began to feel it as he and Eddie walked on the warm stone path outside the spa building, fluffy white robes on, pinkies linked. They were making their way to the heated pool to loosen up before their couples massage. Then they were getting facials and sitting in a mud bath then getting scalp treatments at Eddie’s request. The day’s itinerary was planned by Steve with special consideration of him being high. It also gave him reassurance that there was a structure he knew they’d be following. When Eddie first started getting money and in turn started spoiling Steve, Steve felt guilty. He always tried to hold back, having to be pushed by Eddie to actually get what he wanted, to ask for the cucumber in his water, to book the facials and the mud bath. Now though Steve knew Eddie enjoyed it as much as he did because he knew it made Steve happy. It also kept him looking young so he couldn’t complain too much.

“Baby.” Steve barley whispered, his palm sliding into Eddie’s so he could squeeze his boyfriend’s hand.

Eddie glanced over at him, a calm smile on his lips. “Its okay sweetheart I got you. Its still early only 2 other people are here and they are on the other side of the spa.” Eddie kept his hand in Steve’s guiding him over to the warm salt water pool.

Steve slowly waded into the water with the help of his boyfriend, settling against Eddies side in the far corner of the pool. He took a deep breath embracing the light headed floaty feeling washing over him.

“Feeling okay sweetheart?” Eddie’s voice made him jolt, momentarily forgetting where he was. Steve moved to sit up but Eddie settled a hand around his shoulder, his musician fingers sliding slowly over Steve’s bicep. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you. You just look very content, its Sexy.” Eddie leaned in closer his lips brushing Steve’s ear.

Steve giggled, twisting his head away from Eddie to avoid the ticklish light touches. It made the water splash around them making Steve giggle more, he opened his eyes gasping and slapping a hand over his mouth. “Sorry” he whispered but Eddie was already shaking his head.

“Don’t be, nobody is around you’re all good.” Eddie smiled, brushing Steve’s hair back. “You’re enjoying yourself its what you’re supposed to do.”

“Okay,” Steve agreed easily with a nod. He leaned his face into Eddie’s hand and closed his eyes letting out a pleased hum when Eddie began scratching his nails over his scalp.

They stayed like that for another 15 minutes before making their way back inside the spa building for their massages. Eddie kept an arm wrapped around Steve the entire way, his fingers continuing to brush Steve’s shoulder when he felt his boyfriend get tense at the sight of other people.

“Hello, for Eddie and Steve?” A woman wearing what looked like scrubs asked them.

Steve stayed silent but gave her a nod trying his best to keep his face neutral. Most of his paranoia when high was with other people and having to interact with them. He was always afraid they could tell and were judging him. He always feared he was acting weirdly but couldn’t tell and nobody was saying anything and he unknowingly embarrassed himself or even Eddie. Because he was openly associated with Eddie his actions impacted his boyfriend’s reputation and he would never want to do anything to tarnish it.

“Okay Stevie c’mon time to relax.” Eddie’s voice made Steve blink, not even realizing he had zoned out. He looked around and both massage therapists were gone. “Lets get you undressed honey, that okay? Can I take this off?” Eddie’s fingers were wrapped around the belt of Steve’s robe but were still, waiting for his reply.

“Wha- yeah, yeah of course.” Steve said, his eyes focused back on Eddie’s face and he was met with a fond smile.

Eddie undid the belt of Steve’s robe then brought his hands up sliding them along Steve’s collarbones then over his shoulders, his arms catching on the robe and dragging it along as his hands continued to move across Steve’s body. Once the robe was off he hung it on the back of one of the chairs then made his way back to Steve.

“Arms up here big boy.” Eddie patted his own shoulders.

Steve giggled, his face turning pink as he followed Eddie’s instructions.

“These okay to come off too?” Eddie’s hands rested at Steve’s hips, fingers dipping just beneath the waistband of Steve’s swim shorts.

Steve bit his lip, his cheeks still burning, “mhmm” he nodded.

Eddie smirked back at him slowly dragging the shorts down until he was crouched. He tapped Steve’s ankles getting his boyfriend to step out of his swimsuit one foot at a time.

“Good job baby, now go lay down I’ll be right there.” Eddie took Steve by the shoulders and faced him towards the beds.

He folded Steve’s swim shorts up and placed them on the same chair as the robe. He then worked to undress himself, folding and hanging his own swim trunks and robe. He made his way over to the two beds smiling at Steve’s who was laying face down with his head turned to the side so he could watch Eddie.

“Want me to cover you?” Steve shifted up onto his elbows as Eddie got closer.

“I’m all good sweetheart don’t you worry.” Eddie gave Steve a quick peck then moved to cover his boyfriend up before worrying about himself.

A few minutes later there was a light knock on the door and the massage therapists were back. Soothing spa music began playing through the speakers, and oil was poured on their backs. Steve let Eddie’s pinky slip away from where it was wrapped around his own, turning his head into the rest and closing his eyes.

The massage felt amazing, it was like Steve could feel each individual line of his muscles being untangled and smoothed out. It created a low level hum throughout his entire body, like every single nerve ending was being stimulated all at once. He could hear groans come from Eddie every once and awhile and hoped he wasn’t being to loud either. Steve was glad Eddie was feeling good though, he knew his boyfriend’s back had been giving him issues lately.

Eventually the hands left his skin and he heard the door close once again. Steve kept his eyes closed for a little longer, breathing until the buzzing in his body calmed down enough that he felt he could stand up without bucking at the knee. He still moved a little too quickly though, feeling a little light headed as he sat up. Steve kept his eyes closed, focusing on the sounds of Eddie’s light snoring as he got his bearings. Once he was able to move again he made his way over to Eddie’s table, smoothing his hands through his boyfriend’s hair. Steve got a bit caught up in the motion, his heart jumping a little when Eddie snuffled awake, turning his head and kissing Steve’s palm.

“Morning sweetheart.” He reached a hand out, wrapping it around Steve’s bare waist and pulling him closer. “Ready for the rest of our pampering?”

“Yeah, c’mon”. Steve took the hand from his waist into his own, attempting to tug Eddie up. He ended up stumbling back into his own table, catching himself before falling on his bare ass.

“Alright stumerella, lets go.” Eddie chuckled as he pushed himself up off his bed.

Steve giggled at the nickname even though he didn’t quiet get it. He accepted Eddie’s help getting re-dressed, only smacking suggestive wandering hands away once. Maybe if he was sober he told Eddie who just wiggled his brows and moved on.

The kept their swimsuits on in the mud bath, laying side by side with their heads tilted back and hands intertwined beneath the mud as 2 aestheticians applied masks to their faces and cucumbers over their eyes.

“How you feeling baby?” Eddie asked once the women left the room. They’d be back in 20 minutes to wash the masks off and scrub them down on a wet table.

“Really good.” Steve sighed, his hand squeezing Eddie’s. “I think I could do this again…if you were with me.”

“Hmm sounds great to me, I don’t think I’ve ever been pampered this much.” Eddie tried to smile but his mask pulled and cracked.

“We’re gonna be glowing after all this, like…like glazed donuts or something.” Steve giggled.

“We’re gonna be krispy kreme level glazed…god I wish we had one here.” Eddie sighed.

“God me too, I could eat a whole dozen to myself right now I think.” Steve agreed.

“I’ll get some when we tour the US again, you’ll have to come to every show in a state that has one.”

“Hmm deal if I get a dozen every time.” Steve nodded lazily. “Now I’m so hungry.”

Eddie chuckled, “the munchies are upon us, took longer than I thought.”

“Hey!” Steve pouted.

“Hey! Nothing, I’ve watched you eat an entire tub of ice cream then throw basically all of it up because it gave you a stomach ache.” Eddie was laughing now.

“Whatever, you thought you had jaundice that one time because you and the band smoked for hours while trying to write for the album and you didn’t leave the studio for so long everything had a yellow tinge.” It was Steve’s turn to laugh.

“That was for the sake of creative process!” Eddie defended. “You are so lucky I don’t wanna mess up this mask or I’d mud wrestle you right here right now.”

Steve burst into laughter, just as the door opened again and the aestheticians returned. His teeth clacked as he snapped his mouth closed. They said nothing and Eddie gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

The mud mask was wiped away with warm cloths and a bunch of serums and oils were rubbed into their faces. Then they made their ways over to the wet room where they were wrapped in seaweed then scrubbed down with a giant natural sponge. They both opted for the lotion after and were thankful for it as it was basically a second massage.

All that was left was the scalp massage which was what Steve was looking forward to the most. He and Eddie kept their pinkies linked as they laid on their backs, heads tilted back into water basins. Two new aestheticians came in and steamed their scalps, then it was a dry brush through, shampoo with a scalp massage, rinse, hair mask with a neck and shoulder massage while it sat, rinse, conditioner.

Once they were alone again Steve was the first to speak. “You’re curls are going to look amazing baby, like a like a shampoo commercial or something.”

“Hmm not as good as when you do them for me though, you have magic hands baby.” Eddie replied.

“Its why I’m a hairdresser…wait that was an innuendo wasn’t it.”

“It was but it doesn’t matter, i’m the only one who gets both types of magic,” Eddie tugged Steve’s hand up to his lips, placing a kiss on Steve’s knuckles.

Steve rolled his eyes but his cheeks still turned pink “Can we go eat now?” He asked as he sat up. “I’m pretty sure it wore off now so i’ll be okay to be in a restaurant.”

“Sure sweetheart whatever you want.” Eddie sat up as well, pulling Steve over to him.

Steve went over easily, standing between Eddies legs allowing his boyfriend to koala wrap himself around Steve. Steve rested his head on top of Eddie’s his own hands wrapping around Eddie’s upper body.

“Thanks for today.” Steve whispered into Eddie’s damp hair. He played with it idly, fingers wrapping around random strands of hair to define their curl.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Eddie’s hands tightened around Steve’s waist. “I love spoiling you and am so happy I found another way to do that.” He moved back so he could look at Steve.

“I love you.” Steve smiled shyly.

“I love you too.” Eddie grinned, he leaned up pressing his lip’s against Steve’s for a sweet kiss.

As they pulled back Steve’s stomach made a loud grumble causing them both to burst out in a fit of giggles.

“Lets get you to that restaurant sweetheart.”

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toxicanonymity · 1 year

Note

Heyyyyy! You can totally ignore this 🙏🏻 but as someone who’s now read most of what you wrote for Joel and enjoyed (!) it, I was wondering if you ever had to justify to yourself the topics you are writing about. I know it’s a fantasy that doesn’t reflect supporting those narratives irl. But do the topics affect you in any way while writing or do you not let it have any hold of you? I’m sorry this is so serious but you are the first fic writer dealing with this stuff that I actively read (after roughly 15 years of reading/writing fanfic) so I’m asking in good spirits and mean no harm or negativity. All the best and I wish you many more successful stories 🙏🏻🌻 ty for the great reads!!

Okay, I’m nervous to answer this one. I hope the answer doesn't upset you because that's not at all my intent. I'm only gonna answer a Q like this once, so fuck it we ball . Only read this if you're comfortable with all of my work.

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my personal trainer about this, and it just so happens that his husband is a sex therapist. Kink friendly, and I know they swing, so that put me at ease and I got in touch with him. Also drug friendly which is good because I had to get high before my first appointment bc I was nervous lol. Random, but when I got there, I found out he also shares a waiting room with a massage parlor, so that's kinda cool too.

First Appointment: Idk how many waivers I had to sign but I didn't read a word of them. Let’s call him Dr. Rock for short - When Dr. Rock came out to get me, I shouldn't have been surprised given his husband is a PT, but this guy was super imposing, like muscles making his arms stick out from his body. At the first appointment, he wanted to know some of my specific characters and stories, which I didn't expect. I was a little shy about that at first, but he kinda coaxed it out of me and listened really attentively. He even took a few notes which made me nervous at first, but he didn't ask any judgmental questions. I felt good when I left, but the next week I was still a little nervous to come back just in case he was waiting until the second session to spring any "concern" on me.

Second Appointment: When I showed up for the second session, he didn't come get me from the waiting room. I was the last appointment of the day and he was running behind, catching up on paperwork, and the receptionist said I could go on back. I walked into his office and it reeked of weed. And he had already taken off his shirt and was wearing a tight undershirt. Okay, Dr. Rock is cool. He invited me to sit at his desk that time instead of the sofa, and I worried it was a bad sign, but it turned out that’s just where the ashtray was. Dr. Rock lit up an actual joint, took a puff, then tried to hand it to me. I declined, I guess I was just flustered. Kinda smoothed my skirt then sat back down. He put the joint down in the ashtray, I thought that’s that.

Then he lunged across his desk, took my head in both his hands, and brought his mouth about an inch away from mine. I opened my mouth, totally frozen, and he exhaled into it. Yeah, Dr. Rock shotgunned me. Then I looked down, and what was he wearing with that tight-ass shirt? PJ pants. Coincidence? Wasn’t sure, until he said “yeah, there’s my bad girl. You couldn’t sign those waivers fast enough, could ya?” He slid across his desk, Saved by the Bell style, I stood up to not get knocked over. He walked over and double-locked his office door. I must've been beet red. Like almost too mortified to be turned on, until he got right up against me and he was hard. I walked backwards to the couch and he pinned me on it.

I was like, “Uh, is J (husband) cool with -”

“Don’t you worry ‘bout him..” He started gnawing at my neck. Shoved his hand between my legs. And yes, yes I was. He was like “Ohh yeah, you know you want it. Let’s see how depraved you can be.” He took off my panties, pulled down his waistband, railed me. At first, I was kinda distracted thinking about if he was gonna ask me questions at the end and stuff, but he was actually really good and well equipped and I forgot all about it after a minute. He was like “Yeah, you want this cock, that’s why you came here in the first place. Hell, J prolly told ya how to get it.” I was speechless. When he was close, he said “Lemme see those filthy fingers you’re always typin’ with.” Then he came into both my hands.

Third Appointment: Next time I came in, I was expecting to have a traditional appointment and have to talk about my feelings in the previous experience and stuff. I was really nervous. Once again, he didn’t come get me from the waiting room, and I was told to go back to his office. But that time, he wasn’t at his desk or even in his office. I sat on the couch - felt less like I was invading his Dr. space that way. I was sitting there in his office, picking lint off my skirt, and out of the corner of my eye I saw someone his size lumber through the door.

I did a double take - blue mechanic suit, popped collar. Triple take - Michael Myers mask, WHAT? My heart was beating out of my chest. I stood up as a reflex. He stood there wiggling his fingers at his sides almost imperceptibly. Then he pulled a knife out! He wrapped his hand around my throat, walked me into the wall, and just stood there. He put the knife up to my throat and I kind of whimpered, and maybe he realized he went too far, because he threw the knife to the floor. Then he just stood there holding me against the wall. I was like, “Should I.. what do you want me to do?” And he just tilted his head at me. I looked down and sure enough there was a huge bulge in his jumpsuit. So I went for it, I unzipped him. He breathed heavily in the mask, then aggressively lifted up my dress and ripped open my stockings. Then he railed me up against the wall. Didn't say a word the whole time. Finished, left me there, didn't come back.

Fourth Appointment: This was gonna be a little awkward because I had an appointment at the gym with J. right after my appointment with Dr. Rock. I didn’t know how much Dr. Rock shared with J. Dr. Rock was running behind again and I started getting nervous about making it to the gym in time to work out with J. I texted J. to tell him I was running late, and he didn’t respond. After waiting for like 30 minutes, I decided to leave because I didn’t want to miss my training session.

I got to my car, started to unlock it, then heard, "Don't you fuckin' dare." I turned around, and Dr. Rock was pointing a rifle at me?? My heart almost stopped. I think this was an actual rifle. I live in Texas so I wouldn't be surprised. It was slung over his back with a strap and all. I looked down and he was wearing boots and TACTICAL fucking JEGGINGS. He put me over his shoulder at first and started back toward the building and I was so nervous about the rifle swaying right next to my head.

I said, "please, I can walk."

"Alright, sweet pea but you better move those pretty legs."

He put me down and manhandled me inside, NOT into his office, but into the massage parlor and threw me down on a DIRTY old massage table. Here's the kicker - there were clients in this room. A bunch of depraved men waiting for their happy ending. He unbuckled his belt while making me pull down my pants and choose where I wanted him. Then he pounded me from behind and pulled me up against his chest. He lifted my shirt and bra up so all the clients could see and degraded them while he fucked me. Like, "yeah this is what y'all came for innit? Buncha sickos. Well she's not workin'. Not this one. You won't fuckin see her again. Better jack it now while ya have the chance." He made the whole room of clients jerk off. Then, when Dr. Rock was about to come, he pulled out, pumped himself, walked over to the nearest table, and came all over the client, who started sobbing. Then Dr. Rock came back to my table and said "you did good, sweet pea" and left.

When I got back to my car, I had a text from J. that said, “Get a good enough workout?”

Sorry for answering your sincere ask this way, but thanks for the perfect opportunity to apply this concept. Hopefully an entertaining way of declining to get serious?

#meta #sorry #dr. rock #night walks!joel #michael myers #raider!joel #ask box #toxicanonymity writer's room #dark!joel #raider!joel miller #dr. rockhard #tw: dubcon #tw: drugs #roleplay #might have more #cw discourse #i guess

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mzblkauthor · 4 months

Text

Bliss

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Plug!SunaXStoner!blackreader

Warnings: Smoking, and cussing.

WC:1.5k

Summary: You decide to hang with Atsumu's friends and one happens to have the best weed you've ever smoked

Genre: I honestly don't know

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You ain’t know what was wrong with you. Probably cause you were high as hell and had the munchies. “Girl lets go you bout high as hell,” currently you were at a party at Atsumu’s house and your bestie ,Kiyoko, was the designated driver and she couldn’t stand seeing you high out your mind while any nigga there would try to take of advantage of you. “Now you know damn well you’re the one that dragged me here. Don’t blame me for enjoying the party in my own way,” you told her scrunching your face up. But, you got up anyway cause ain't no way you bout to listen to her complain and blow your high. The music was fuzzy in your ears and every time you took a step it felt like you were walking on water. Yeah it's time for you to go home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Timeskip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday… was something. You ain't have a headache but almost everything was a blur. Definitely got a little too high. Fuck. “I hope I ain't did something I regret.” Getting up to go get some food you heard your phone somewhere in your sheets. Then after patting down what seems like your whole bed you finally found it and answered the phone call.

‘YYYY////NNNN’

“Bitch wtf why you moaning my name. You must like me huh,”

‘Girl-’

“ Its aight babygirl I know you luh me. Less fuck then get eloped”

‘Whoa first off I gotta boyfriend so we can’t get eloped second what you need in your life is some dick you horny freaky kinky fuck talking bout marriage and fucking. Girl bye’

“Fuck that nigga Tanaka. I can give so much more but you over here worried bout that bald ass wigga jigga boo.”

‘Whatever I’m loyal to my man. We for real locked in tight like a bootyhole’

“Ew fuck off my phone with that nasty ass shit. Ain't nobody asked what Tanaka’s little freaky ass likes in bed. He prolly like to be fucked instead of doing the fucking.”

‘Shut the fuck up’

“You shut the fuck up”

‘Aight I gotta go I luh you’

“Aight I love you too”

Hanging up the phone you saw a big tittied bitch getting fucked from the back. Woah. Your horny ass forgot to exit out of it yesterday “Damn I guess I do need dick in my life,” Closing the tab and heading downstairs you decided to make yourself some toast with hella butter cause that shit be hitting different when you first wake up. As you turned on the TV and got ready to chill for the rest of the day. You got a text message from Kiyoko.

Be ready in 30 mins We going to atsumus to hang Why i need to go???? Cause Tanaka wanna go and i dont wanna b by myself Plus you know them That doesnt mean i wanna go There’ll be weed. Dam u makin me seem like a feen Add in food and ill go Bet.

Groaning you got up and turned off the tv. After finishing your toast you went to get ready and chose a cute little outfit cause Atsumu be having fine ass friends. It was a spiderman crop top with jeans and your favorite spiderman beanie. You was looking mad cute but not like you was trying to hard. Cause you aint stunting no-mf-body. BEEP BEEP. “COME ON BITCH LETS GO,” the ghetto. You grabbed your bag and hurried to get your stuff. “Charger, phone, keys, pen, wallet, headphones” you told yourself going down the checklist of things you always put in your bag before you leave the house. You turned all the lights off and headed for the car after locking the door on your way out. “You know you coulda just texted me right,”

“Yeah but I didn’t want to”

Straight facing her you then nodded to Tanaka in the rearview mirror and closed the car door. No matter how much shit you talked about Tanaka you knew he was a cool dude yall just like to mess with each other hella. You put your headphones on and enjoyed the ride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Timeskip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before even walking through the doors you were hit with the smell of za. There wasn’t a lot of people, maybe like 8 and you only knew 3 of them. Didn’t really matter though cause they were to high too notice you for real.

“Y/N!”

Well now they did. Atsumu’s loud ass had to yell your name. Bro don’t ever know how to talk swear, you awkwardly waved and sat on the couch closest to the door. “What’er you doin here? I ain't knew you were coming, if I did ya know I woulda gotten ready or whateva,” he was high as fuck whenever you two would get high together he always would be a flirt way more than he usually was. That's why you stopped smoking with him. He was a little too flirty for your liking. “Boy please ain't nobody worried bout you. Where’s your brother?” you told him casually brushing him off and changing the subject. “He’s in the kitchen where he always is. But you tryna roll up?”

This tall green eyed dude cleared his throat while looking at Atsumu with his face scrunched up. He was fine like something you never seen before. His tattoo’s were hot as hell in the lighting. It looked like a whole story on his arm and you wanted to ask about it but decided not to. And his eyes were somehow fox-like and the lips. God the lips. At this point you were just checking him out. Literally from the piercings lining his ears to his uncreased forces.

“Y/N!”

Slowly tuning back into the conversation and looking at Atsumu you asked him “Why you always yelling?”

“Maybe its cause you over there eye fucking Suna instead of paying attention,” he told you while taking a hit from the blunt. “Just cause I was looking that way doesn’t mean I was checking him out. Jealousy isn’t a good look on you booboo now what do you want,” you said rolling your eyes. Honestly on the inside you were embarrassed hella cause who wouldn’t be. “Well I was gonna ask if you wanna roll up,” you turned back to ‘Suna’, looked him in the eyes and asked “If it's ok with you..”

He nodded and took another hit, eyes not leaving yours. Fuck. He was fine as hell. Atsumu passed you the tray which already had everything you needed on it. Then you were in your zone, starting grinding, pouring, then rolling it all up. His eyes stayed on you. You felt it and with chase Atlantic playing in the background it made the vibe feel even better. Next thing you knew you licked the paper and closed the ends. You did pretty damn good for it being on the spot. “Roller gets first hit,” some white haired dude said tossing you the lighter. You said thanks while putting the blunt between your lips and lighting it.

Holy shit.

After 3 good hits and 30 minutes you were already up there. It felt as if your whole body was tingling and you knew if you were to get up you’d probably stumble a little bit. “Is this shit laced?” you said to nobody in particular.

“Nah, Suna’s shit is just strong,” the white haired dude said laughing and shaking his head.

Then as if he teleported in an apron Osamu called your name. “Y/n, I didn’t know you were here,”

You smiled up at him “ Yeah I knew you were in there cooking and I ain’t wanna bother you,” he kissed his teeth and then rolled his eyes.

Gesturing for you to get up he said “You know I don’t give a fuck about that shit next time come say hi. And gimmie a hug,” You got up ,without stumbling, and gave him a big hug. You and Osamu were mad cool like literally yall would meet almost every week.

“How come you don’t greet me like that when I come through the door?” it was the white haired dude who said that. You ain't know who the fuck that nigga was.

“Whatever, ignore him. Did Atsumu already introduce everybody?” You looked at Atsumu who was scratching his head and then shook your head no.

After he introduced everybody you had the munchies and wanted the food Kiyoko promised. But looking over you saw that she was knocked out on Tanaka’s shoulder. You put your headphones on and got up to go get some food low-key annoyed at the fact that you had to get up. You went to get water from the fridge and put some onigiri on a paper towel. Then sat on the counter as you got Brent Faiyaz pulled up. Whenever you were high you had to listen to music cause it felt like a journey that no one else could experience. Like the artist was talking specifically for you and only you. And Brent did that every time. So, it was just you swinging your legs on the counter while eating your onigiri while the music pulled you into a certain bliss that couldn't be replicated from anything else.

"Excuse me," you paused your chewing and stopped swinging your legs. It felt almost like a record scratch because the voice was deep as hell. You're gazed trailed from his feet to his eyes, it was obvious you were checking him out but, you were too high to give a fuck. "Excuse me," he said once again.

This time you answered, "Do you need something?" you asked while tilting your head and taking an earbud out.

He licked his lips and made his way to you "I was wondering if you wanted to come around next time we did something like this," now he was crossing his arms and leaning against the counter in front of you. He was confident. But, you couldn't tell if he was naturally like this or if the weed was a big factor of the way he was acting now. Fuck it, you thought. He was fine as hell but, you don't wanna seem easy.

"I don't know, I mean I don't even know you," you told him sweeping your eyes over his mouth "and if I do pull up. Will I have to pay? I don't wanna smoke up all your shit, that would be rude." This time you were staring at him in his eyes. Just like yours they were red and low. You knew what you were doing and so did he.

He smirked and said "As long as you roll up there wouldn't be a problem. I'm always the one rolling up it'd be nice for there to be a change."

You shrugged, "I'll think about it," telling him as you resumed kicking your legs. He pushed himself off the counter and in 2 strides was in front of you. He crouched down to your eye level and leaned forward to your ear.

"I don't think you understand," he was so close you could hear his mouth move "I want you there," his scent was overwhelming. You took a deep breath which caused your chest to press into him. You weren't wearing a bra. He noticed too, you could tell by the whisper of his laugh.

You brought your hand to his neck and slid it up to his hair. He moved his head away from your ear and stared at you, eye to eye. You bit your lip and clutched his hair at the nape of his neck.

Then tugging it lightly you told him, "I said, I'll think about it, I don't give a damn if you want me there or not." You gently pushed him back and jumped off the counter, then made your way back into the living room.

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AN: Are yall messing with this? And should I make this into a series?

Cause I feel like only a little bit was really Sunaxblackreader.

#anime x black y/n #anime x reader #x black reader #suna x reader #suna x blackreader #suna x black y/n #sunaxblackreader #haikyuu x black reader #haikyuu x black y/n #suna x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #stoner suna #stonersuna x blackreader #stoner suna x black y/n #stonersuna x y/n #stonersuna x reader

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jeansplaytoy · 3 months

Text

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥

part six.

sorry for the late updates, i’ll make it up to y’all with more updates. fr this time😭.

conniexreader, the usual, alcohol, weed, mentions of violence

part five here | part seven here

two weeks later, no contact.

not like you cared, or expected anything. but it was strange. a little. you bit the inside of your cheeks, zoning out as you did your makeup. you haven’t been to a party since you went to connie’s house, simply because you needed time to yourself and you didn’t wanna have to fight a bitch again.

finishing up your makeup, you picked out your outfit. “shit ion feel like dealing wit these hoes.” you whispered to yourself while putting on your heels.

you put your jewelry on, which normally you wouldn’t do if you knew a bitch was gonna try you that same night. but you didn’t feel like fighting. really.

you made your way downstairs and to the front door, opening and closing it behind you as you left your house. you locked it and unlocked your car, putting on lip gloss as you opened your car door, putting your phone in the cup holder and getting yourself situated.

you left after a few seconds of contemplating on whether you should go to the party or stay home and not worry about anything else.

but to not miss out on anything, you looked at onys location to see where the party was.

even as you made it and stepped out the car, you still wasn’t in the mood. you barely made it to the front porch where people were drinking and smoking before you were greeted by a cheesing sasha and mikasa.

“girl what’s wrong, you ain’t in the mood?” sasha looked at you with her hands on your shoulders.

“at all.”

“we might have to find connie to straighten up that attitude.” mikasa mumbled, passing you a drink. “now sip. you’ll feel better sooner or later.”

you hummed, knowing you shouldn’t be, but drinking as you walked through the front door. there wasn’t anything morally wrong though, so there was nothing to feel bad about really. as soon as you made it to the living room where your group always was, you realized that it would’ve probably been the best choice to just stay home at that point.

because right in front of you sat eren, armin, jean, ony, and last but not least?

connie.

“wassup y/n. this ony and connie. i know y’all met before.” eren mumbled, rolling up a blunt. you slowly nodded. “hey ony. again.”

ony laughed a little. “wassup friend.”

it seemed like connie caught on to your little ‘joke’ because he looked up at you from his phone with dead eyes. you finished your drink and put it on the table, still staring at him before smiling a little.

connie smiled a little and shook his head, standing up and stretching. “we bouda go smoke, we’ll be right back.” he said, signaling you to get up and follow him.

even though you felt sasha and mikasa poke your waist as you stood up, you really had no intent to fuck him again. it couldn’t keep happening every week if there was really nothing going on between you, and you didn’t wanna be anybody’s fuck buddy either.

you almost didn’t even wanna go, but you were already following him to the backyard, so that was a mess itself.

“you know you play a lot.” connie slowly shook his head, lighting a blunt.

“some days.”

“you been actin’ weird.” he said, sitting in a chair near a table. you sat in another chair. “i wouldn’t want yo lil girlfriend tryna beat my ass again.” you stared at him while propping your leg up comfortably in the chair.

“that bitch ain’t my girlfriend.”

“bitch? y’all was just flirting. i’d hate for you to start talkin’ bout me like that.” you frowned a little.

connie only sighed and put the blunt out in an ashtray. “ion even feel like smoking no mo’.” he whispered to his self. you didn’t care though. you wouldn’t just wanna and up as one of his hoes that he used to fuck when he got bored.

“i’m just sayin. i don’t wanna be somebody that you just think you can play with til you feel like you done wit them. cus i know you got hoes on the side.” you rubbed at your freshly done nails.

“you sayin that like you my girlfriend.” connie raised his eyebrows and looked at you.

you didn’t wanna be labeled as his girlfriend, you didn’t care much about that girlfriend boyfriend shit that much. you just didn’t wanna be someone he thought he had access to anytime he wanted.

“it’s not about that. you not finna fuck me whenever, then get tired and walk around talking about me like you talk about her.” you furrowed your eyebrows in irritation. connie could sense your attitude. and you didn’t even know you got one at that moment.

“im not finna talk about you in no kinda way. she can’t even compare to you, so why you so damn worried bout the way i talk about her, let alone her in general?”

you just sat back and crossed your arms, looking away. you thought it made you look sick and tired of his bullshit, but to connie, you looked like a pouty child who couldn’t get what they wanted.

you thought about when he said she couldn’t compare to you, but you were too mad to pay any attention to that anymore.

what you did pay attention to was the sound of connies laughing.

“fuck funny?” you squinted.

“you cute when you act like that.”

he wasn’t telling the full truth. yes, you were cute when you got all mad, which is why he never had a problem with you being mad at him or anybody else. but it wasn’t the full reason he was laughing.

“i’m bein’ serious connie.”

connie’s eyebrows raised again.

“hol up, say that again… i like when you say my name.”

you smacked your lips, about to get up, but he started laughing again and stopped you. “okay my bad ima stop messin witchu.” he held your hand, looking at your nails.

“you got a big ass attitude problem… like a baby or sum.” connie intertwined your fingers with his and looked at you. “no. people just be pissin me off.”

“you ain’t act like this when we met.”

“i had the time and energy when we met. now shut up talkin to me.” you scratched your head, starting to get irritated again.

the peace was almost there. you were almost calm. but that same girl from about three weeks ago had to mess shit up again. like always. coming from around the corner, seemingly with her best friend or something, she stopped at the sight of you and connie.

connie didn’t budge, he didn’t care.

“every time i get around connie, he wit’ the same girl.” she pointed at you. “ain’t that the girl you fought?” her friend asked.

she was speaking like you wasn’t even there. you just stared at the girls, leg still comfortably propped up, because she can have one best friend but you got two that’s always ready. “to be honest, ion even know why the fuck i came to this party cus’ if i handle these bitches, i’m goin to jail.” you said, looking up at the sky, you let go of connie’s hand, standing up, about to walk back inside the house.

“naw bitch don’t be tryna leave cus i got my friend, now what?”

“girl fuck you and yo’ friend. ‘fuck? you got yo friend cus i beat the hell outta you? go get yo momma or sum.” you rolled your neck with a scoff, continuing to walk towards the door.

sasha, seemingly hearing all the commotion, which wasn’t even mainly you, the bitch was just screaming for no reason.

sasha opened the door. “what happened?”

you ain’t even feel like saying nothing no more. “Paris fuckin wit y/n, again, and y/n ain’t in the damn mood.” connie sighed, standing beside you and rubbing your back to calm you down. “don’t you think you need to get your bitch?” sasha squinted.

“that ain’t my bitch, damn. ion even want that girl, ion know why she trippin over me.” connie slowly shook his head.

sasha smacked her lips as mikasa walked outside behind her. soon came the rest of the group, seeing what’s going on.

“girl you need to find you sumn else to do, for real.” mikasa walked up to Paris and her friend. “aw now she wanna bring her friend” she mumbled to her best friend. “i got girls here too so ion really give a fuck.” Paris stared at Mikasa.

you stared from a distance before Paris’ friend looked at you. “now you back there lookin scared and shit. bitch ain’t shit wrong wit’ you, so why youn wanna fight now that i’m here?” she looked around mikasa.

you were quiet. you were quiet because you started feeling that one, dumb drink you had, come to you.

“leave me the fuck alone. you dumbass bitch! ima sicka these dumb bitches… fuckin’ wit me like i really wanna be seen fighting these dumb hoes!” your words were slurred. it was like you was throwing a tantrum. you went from laid back to sick and tired.

“stupid bitches i’m tired’a this shit!” you leaned down and quickly kicked off your heels, throwing em to the side.

“wassup?! bitch wassup?!” Paris’ friend walked around mikasa. and mikasa didn’t stop it because jumping was dumb. unless it was planned by you, her, and sasha.

“don’t even do it bruh.” connie held your wrist.

you snatched it away. “no, get the fuck away from me! i’m tired of these dumb bitches acting like i’m fuckin scared of them! bitch i ain’t scared of you!” you yelled, walking over to her friend and posting up. “swing bitch.” you mumbled, waiting for her to do something.

she kicked off her slides and before she could even swing, connie snatched you back by your forearm. “bring yo ass on bruh.” he frowned. “you drunk.”

he picked up your heels and continued to block you from the girl and the girl from you.

“naw that bitch always wanna try me i will kill that hoe!”

“kill me bitch! try it!”

the yelling went back and forth, and sounded horrible from the slurring of your words. it got to the point where connie had to literally drag you by your waist to not get to that girl.

connie took you to your car, of course after almost begging you to show him where it was.

connie pushed you against the back of the car, holding his hand out for your key. you stared at him through your lashes, barely being able to open your eyes. you reached for your keys that were placed in the side of your outfit, by your waist.

it seemingly slid down your whole jumpsuit from your upper thigh and to your ankle. you tried to wiggle the keys out. connie sighed and grabbed your leg, you leaning on the car, pushing the keys out of your pants part.

you still had that pouty look on your face. connie unlocked the car and tossed your heels in the back. “come on.”

you lazily walked to the passenger side with a frown.

“the other side.” he said.

you sighed deeply, not even trying to put up with him. you walked to connie’s side to get in the backseat, pausing to look at him. he really didn’t care about the look on your face. you sat in the backseat, connie closing the door behind you. you didn’t even have time to process your thoughts. you really couldn’t.

connie sat in the front seat and closed the door, not even bothering to start the car.

he pulled out his phone and let the seat back a little, resting his arm behind his head and scrolling.

“ion wanna stay in this car.” you mumbled, reaching towards the door. it locked before you could get out.

“you gon stay in this car until you fix yo attitude.”

#aot x reader #aot headcanons #jeansplaytoy♡︎#connie springer #connie x reader #aot connie #aot x black reader #connie x black reader #connie springer x y/n #connie springer headcanons #connie springer x reader #connie aot #connie x black y/n

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ghosttotheparty · 1 year

Text

love me softly p8

tags from @variousothershit on part seven bc it made me laugh out loud (i think eddie would allow it bc he’s in love)

They dance until the song ends, and the next one begins, swaying with their arms around each other, their hands linked. Steve makes Eddie twirl, and Eddie blushes, his cheeks flushing with heat when he stumbles and Steve giggles.

The next song ends.

Another begins.

There’s noise out in the hall, loud voices singing and laughing, and they keep dancing, hidden away in the dim light of the bedroom.

“We’re so bad at this,” Eddie says, laughing when Steve ducks his head to twirl, their fingers tangled. Steve laughs again, pulling him close, his arm over Eddie’s shoulder.

“We’re doing great,” he says easily.

Their eyes meet. Steve’s are shining in the light, and Eddie falters, gazing at him. He’s so pretty. Eddie wants to say it out loud.

Steve’s lips part like he’s going to say something, and Eddie realises they’ve both fallen still, just standing with their arms around each other, with their fingers still tangled. But before Steve can speak, the door bangs, and they jump apart.

“Someone’s getting laid,” a voice says outside, laughing, and Eddie’s face floods with heat as he glances at Steve, his heart pounding. “There’s probably a room upstairs, come on.”

There’s a moment of silence between them before Steve clears his throat awkwardly, rubbing his cheek.

“Uhm.”

His cheeks are pink, and even in Eddie’s nervousness he feels a rush of something. Not quite satisfaction, but close.

“I should probably…” Steve says, hesitating, gesturing vaguely to the door.

“Yeah,” Eddie says nodding. “Uhm.”

Someone’s getting laid.

His face flushes with heat again, and he moves past Steve to where the tin lunchbox is sitting.

“Here.” He rifles through it, finding a small baggie of weeds and he turns, tossing it to Steve catches it, perplexed. “We can say we were dealing.”

“Oh.” Steve looks at it, his cheeks still pink. “How much?”

Eddie suppresses a smile.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

Steve stares at him, his eyes wide and shining, and Eddie tilts his head fondly, shutting the lunchbox.

“…Okay.”

Eddie smiles at him, watching him fidget with it for a moment before he picks up the lunchbox and heads to the door.

“I’ll see you ‘round, Steve.”

“Wait—“

Steve moves forward, catching Eddie’s wrist before he can reach the lock, and Eddie’s eyes widen at the sudden close proximity, glances over Steve’s face.

“Uhm,” Steve hesitates, holding Eddie’s wrist gently. “Do you— Do you wanna, uhm… Come over this weekend?”

Eddie raises his eyebrows.

“You’re inviting me to your palace?” he teases.

Steve scoffs.

“Yeah,” he says. “I like hanging out with you.”

Eddie’s chest hurts. He exhales, and Steve’s fingers are suddenly hot against his skin.

“Okay,” he breathes.

“Saturday?” Steve asks.

“Uh, yeah.” Eddie blinks. “Uh, my— my uncle works nights, and we were gonna have dinner before he leaves. Is it cool if I come over after that?”

“Yeah,” Steve says softly, smiling. “‘S cool.”

“Okay.”

They stare for a moment longer before Steve seems to remember that he’s holding Eddie’s wrist, and he lets go, glancing at their hands.

“I’ll see you then?” Steve asks, and Eddie nods, melting a little bit. He wants to lean in and kiss him.

But he doesn’t.

On Saturday Eddie is riddled with anxiety, pacing and fidgeting as he cleans the trailer. He changes his clothes three times, finally settling on a pair of ripped jeans and an old KILL ‘EM ALL t-shirt, with a few silver chain necklaces and his rings. He ties his hair back after getting annoyed with it brushing and tickling his neck and face.

“The fuck’s goin’ on with you, Eds?” Wayne asks while Eddie is making dinner.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re fidgeting like a sinner in church, boy. What’s going on?”

“Uh.” Eddie sighs, scooping food onto a plate from the pan, his cheeks flushing. “Nothing, really.”

“Mhmm,” Wayne hums dryly, obviously not believing him.

Eddie sits at the table with him, a leg drawn up onto his chair, and he pokes at his food for a moment. Wayne is looking at him as he eats, waiting patiently.

“I’m going to a friend’s place tonight.”

“Gareth?”

“No,” Eddie says, his cheeks flushing, looking up at him across the table. “Uh, his name’s Steve.”

“Steve,” Wayne repeats. “He from school?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s he like?”

Eddie looks away, back at his food. His cheeks flush again.

“He’s real sweet.”

He takes a bite of his food, glancing up at Wayne, who’s staring at him knowingly.

“That right?” Wayne says gently.

“Mhmm.”

“How’d you meet?”

“Uh, guess we never really met,” Eddie says with his mouth full. “Like, formally.” He pauses to swallow. “But we had detention together a while back and kinda… hung out.”

“Is he nice?”

Eddie suppresses a smile.

“Yeah, he’s real nice. Leaves little drawings in my locker ‘nd shit. It’s cute.”

“You got yourself an artist?”

“He’s not—“ Eddie hesitates, his cheeks hot again. “He’s not mine.”

“You got yourself an artist.”

“Whatever, Wayne.”

Wayne pecks his forehead before he leaves as Eddie is washing up, tells him to have fun and be safe. Eddie just blushes again.

The drive to Steve’s is longer than Eddie remembers. The lights are on when he gets there, over the front door and upstairs, and Eddie hesitates, taking a sharp breath and exhaling slowly before he rings the doorbell.

It takes a few seconds before Steve opens it, looking soft and lovely in a red sweater and a smile, and Eddie melts.

“Hey.”

Steve beckons him inside with a head tilt, and Eddie enters, his eyes widening as he looks around.

“Your majesty,” Eddie teases, his hands shoved in the pockets of his unzipped hoodie. Steve scoffs, closing the door.

It’s big inside. The ceilings are a mile away, and there are stairs leading up to it, abstract, expensive-looking paintings lining the wall. Eddie turns in a circle as he follows Steve to the living room, spinning to look around. He catches a glimpse into the kitchen. It’s bright.

“Holy shit?” Eddie says, laughing when he looks around the living room. There’s a conversation pit. Eddie’s never seen one before. “You ever fall in?” he asks, gesturing toward it with a jerk of his chin.

“Oh, yeah. Probably got a fuckin’ head injury when I was little.”

Eddie laughs, scrunching his nose, and Steve smiles at him.

He waits while Eddie looks around, carefully stepping around the pit so he doesn’t fall in. There’s more art on the walls, simple framed abstracts in red and yellow and blue. Eddie’s smile falters, and he searches around, eyeing the mantle under the television, the bookshelf. There aren’t any kinds of family photos anywhere.

“Is it… weird if I say it doesn’t look like anyone lives here?” Eddie asks, finding Steve leaning against a wall.

Steve shrugs, his hands tucked behind his back.

“‘S just me, so… You’re not really too far off.”

Eddie blinks.

“Your parents don’t live here?”

Steve sighs, shrugging again.

“They’re in and out. Usually on business trips or, like, vacation.”

“They don’t take you on vacation?” Eddie asks with a raised eyebrow. Steve just shakes his head.

“I wouldn’t go even if they offered.”

“Jesus.”

“They, uh, started leaving me home when I was a kid,” Steve says. “As soon as I was old enough to use the stove myself.”

Eddie stares at him, his heart splitting a little bit.

“That fucking sucks.”

Steve shrugs.

“Sometimes I forget I even have parents.”

“That’s sad, Steve.”

Steve shrugs again.

“When you were a kid,” Eddie says, complaining, looking around again, imagining a tiny Steve in the conversation out. Drawing with broken crayons. “Do they even know you?”

“Nah,” Steve says softly. “I got secrets.”

Eddie looks at him. There’s an almost mischievous glint in his eye.

“Consider my interest piqued,” Eddie says, and Steve grins before he beckons with a head tilt.

“C’mon.”

Eddie follows him, pausing to kick his shoes off at the door when he notices Steve’s just in mismatched socks, holding onto the railing as they go up the wood stairs. It’s dimmer upstairs as Eddie follows him down the hall.

“Uh.” Steve turns before he opens the door, pointing at Eddie so his finger touches his chest. Eddie’s breath catches in his throat. “Before we go in, you’re not allowed to judge me for the wallpaper.”

Eddie’s brows furrow, and he smiles hesitantly.

“…Okay?”

“My mom picked it when I was, like, nine, and I’m not allowed to change it.”

“Not judging,” Eddie sweats, holding his hands up in surrender before Steve sighs and opens the door. “Oh my god.”

“What did I say?” Steve says accusingly, but he’s laughing, watching Eddie look around at the horrific plaid walls.

“Not judging, not judging,” Eddie defends himself, hands still raised. “Well, that’s not true, I’m judging your mother.”

“That’s allowed.”

“Okay, good.” He finishes looking around, grinning. There are clothes on the floor and on the desk chair, and books and papers scattered across the desk, and the blankets on his bed are tossed aside messily. “So these secrets I’ve heard about…”

Steve grins, sitting on the edge of his bed. Eddie’s chest tightens. He wants to kiss him.

“Look in the closet.”

Eddie narrows his eyes, moving over the closet, and he opens it slowly, suspiciously, listening to Steve giggle behind him.

When it’s open, his eyes scan over the hanging clothing before they find the bottom of the closet, cluttered with canvases and a shoebox of paint tubes, and a guitar.

Eddie’s eyes widen, and he looks over his shoulder at Steve, who’s watching him shyly, almost nervously.

“Can I?” Eddie asks, reaching down to a canvas, and Steve nods.

“Go ahead.”

Eddie plops onto the ground, eliciting a soft giggle from Steve, and pulls the canvases out of the closet, looking at them, wide-eyed.

Most of them are abstract, but not in the way the paintings in the stairway and the living room are. They’re expressive, loud and passionate and so full of Steve that Eddie forgets the breathe. He looks through them slowly, gazing at every detail, every brushstroke and smudge and speck of paint, setting them aside carefully, gently.

“That one’s you,” Steve says abruptly when Eddie looks at one, and Eddie looks up at him. “It’s, uhm.”

“Explain?” Eddie questions, looking back at the painting. It’s full of dark blues and blacks and soft smudges of white and yellow and red, intense and heavy but somehow calm. At first glance, Eddie thinks it’s the sea.

“I was…” Steve’s cheeks flush red, and he scratches the back of his neck. “I was thinking about you. When I made it. Is that— That’s weird, I— I’m sorry, it’s—“

“It’s not weird, Stevie,” Eddie says gently, his chest aching. “It’s fucking beautiful.”

“Okay,” Steve says softly.

Eddie gazes at the painting for a little while longer, wondering when Steve did it, how long it’s been sitting in the dark of his closet.

“What are you gonna do with them all?” he asks, setting it aside carefully to look at the next.

“Don’t know,” Steve says. “Probably just keep them all there until I move out and get my own place.”

“You should cover every single wall with them,” Eddie says. “When you get a place.”

“You think?”

“Fuck yeah.”

He puts the paintings back as carefully as he can when he finishes looking through them.

“You play guitar?”

“Little bit.”

Eddie grins and picks up the guitar carefully, crawling over to hand it to Steve, who grimaces and takes it.

“Play me something,” Eddie demand, smiling up at him as he sits cross-legged on the floor again, his back to the closet. Steve sighs heavily, sliding his fingers down the frets, and Eddie watches eagerly as he starts to play.

“The Cure?” Eddie asks when Steve stops, grimacing again as he falters.

“Uh, yeah.”

Eddie nods approvingly.

“Is that allowed?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, ‘course. You can like what you like. Metal’s not for everyone.”

“Even if it’s Toto?”

Eddie shrugs, and Steve laughs, raising that eyebrows.

“You liked that song at the party, though.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you…”

“Okay, it wasn’t horrible,” Eddie says, cheeks flushing. Steve cackles almost evilly, looking up at the ceiling and Eddie falls in love a little more. He’d listen to Toto every day if he got to see Steve’s eyes sparkle like this.

“Alright, come on,” Steve says lightly, standing and kicking Eddie gently as Eddie looks up at him from the floor. He puts the guitar back in the closet, but forgets to shut the door.

Steve is different when he’s not at school. Eddie noticed it the first night they spent together, sitting by the quarry in the van, how light he seems when he isn’t surrounded by his douchey friends, how he sits differently, how he breathes differently.

When they sit in the conversation pit to watch a movie, Steve sits with his legs pulled up onto the sofa the same way Eddie does. He has an absent sort of smile gracing his lips, looking vaguely content in a way Eddie’s never seen him before.

Eddie looks away, pressing his lips together and letting his head fall back against the sofa, looking briefly at the ceiling. He’s so fucking beautiful.

They’re both quiet while they watch the movie, and Eddie is barely paying attention, instead focusing on the sound of Steve breathing, and the small distance between them. (Steve moved closer a little while ago, shifted slightly as he set his chin on his knee. Eddie wanted to scream.)

His cheeks flush with warmth when the characters in the movie lock eyes. A boy and a girl, staring intently at each other, the lighting dim and warm. He glances away from the screen at Steve, whose eyes are trained on the movie.

The air feels tight. Like Eddie could cut through it.

The characters kiss after a moment, slowly and gently and lovingly. Eddie’s chest hurts.

“Sometimes I—“ Steve’s voice says quietly, roughly. “I think that isn’t for me.”

Eddie looks at him, eyes wide.

“Kissing?” he says lightly, making Steve scoff. Girls?

“No, just… Romance. I guess.”

Eddie blinks, looking back at the screen. They’re still kissing, arms around each other, the boy’s fingers in her hair.

“Why?” he asks.

Steve sighs and shrugs.

“Nobody’s worked out,” he says. “Feels like they’re all… looking for something I’m not.”

Eddie swallows, biting his lip and picking at the hole in his jeans.

“Maybe you’re… not looking in the right place,” he says softly.

He keeps looking at the screen, watching the boy lift the girl onto a table without pulling away. The girl is smiling.

Steve is quiet for a few seconds before Eddie feels the sofa shift, and Steve’s hand gently touches Eddie’s chin, pulling to make Eddie face him, and before Eddie can even realise how close he is, he’s kissing him.

Eddie gasps, pushing forward to kiss him back briefly before Steve pulls away, holding Eddie’s chin gently. His eyes are wide, reflecting the movie and the soft golden light of the lamp across the room, and Eddie stares at him.

“Woah.”

Steve blinks, his eyes flicking back and forth between Eddie’s.

“Did I misread that?” Steve asks anxiously. His hand is shaking.

“No,” Eddie says sharply, dropping his legs and shifting to face him. “No, no, you— I just— I just wasn’t expecting that, but I—”

“Was it okay?” Steve asks in a small voice. He looks like he might cry.

“Jesus, Steve,” Eddie breathes, reaching up to touch his face, pressing his palm to his soft cheek. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long, I…” He shakes his head. He looks at Steve’s lips. He can still feel them on his own.

“Really?”

Steve’s eyes are glistening, and his voice breaks, and Eddie doesn’t want him to cry. He reaches up with his other hand, cradling Steve’s face tenderly, and he nods.

“I have such a fucking crush on you. Christ.”

Steve laughs weakly, hunching his shoulders, and Eddie leans in to kiss him again, squeezing his eyes shut as their mouths crash together, tilting his head and gasping when they part.

“Eddie,” Steve says breathlessly, his eyes still closed, holding Eddie’s face.

“Yeah,” Eddie whispers, pushing Steve’s hair back, tracing a line down his neck lightly. “You okay?”

“I’m so okay,” Steve says softly. “I’ve never been this okay.”

Eddie grins at him, leaning in and kissing him softly.

“Can I…” Steve starts, pausing to bite his lip, his cheeks pink.

“What?” Eddie prompts softly, nudging their noses together.

“Can I sit on your lap?”

“Jesus. Yes, come here.”

He pulls at Steve’s hips, and Steve beams, sitting up and swinging a leg over Eddie’s lap so he’s straddling him. Eddie’s heart is pounding in his chest.

“Never thought I’d make it to Heaven,” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist, and Steve shakes his head, rolling his eyes.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Can you blame me?” Eddie asks, sliding a hand over Steve’s back. “Got the prettiest boy in Indiana on my lap.”

Steve’s smile falters. He’s tracing lines over Eddie’s jawline, down his neck.

“You think I’m pretty?” he asks softly, shyly.

Eddie exhales. Gazes up at him. He vaguely hears the movie in the background, but he’s too focussed on the way the soft lighting in the room is making Steve’s stray hair shine like spun gold, on the way his eyes are shining like they’re glass, like he’s a painting that belongs in a museum.

“I think you’re fucking stunning, Stevie,” he says softly. Steve’s cheeks flush pink.

Steve pulls him into a kiss by tugging on his necklaces. Eddie is glad he wore them.

part nine

read the whole thing on ao3

taglist: @dazedandinked @vecnuthy @mareydi @thekingandthejester @michael-the-angelo @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @confusionocturne @three-possums-playing-human @narcissist-era @snailcosworld @axltheedaddy @thing-a-ling

#!!!!!!!!!#lmk if you want to be tagged in part nine <3 #i’m also working on a longer fic rn ab steve’s trauma and i’m v excited ab it lmk if you wanna be tagged in that too!!#also looking for ideas for some art i wanna make i’m in a slump and feel like i haven’t drawn in ages if you any ideas my inbox is open <3 #help me pls <3 i feel i may die <3 #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #steddie #steddie fanfic #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #love me softly

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sichore · 2 months

Text

Dethentines 2024

2/10 - sickeningly sweet or scintillatingly steamy

2/11 - trope battle: college AU or forced proximity

My contribution this year is some SNB era Picklejam!

80s MUA!Jimi would not exist without @supersaturnnyoomkitty's fic Single Use Plastic and @thatwritingho's fic Neighboring Jars

Thank you both so much!

“Pbbbbbt.” Pickles blows another raspberry and leans his head over the back of his chair, boneless and zooted. “Yer no fun, Jimi.”

“I’m plenty of fun,” Jimi replies in a manner that suggests she may actually be joking with him. But when Pickles cracks open an eye to look at her, a water bottle fills his vision, and he blinks at the plastic reflecting the lights of the vanity. “Drink this.” “Er… I’d prefer vodka,” he quips with a chuckle, but takes the bottle anyway. “I know, but you’re dehydrated, and foundation can only do so much to cover that up. We don’t need you passing out on the set.”

“An’ here I thought you were worried ‘bout me,” Pickles mutters, and he’s only a little bitter as he obediently twists open the cap and takes a swig of water. His eyes widen, and he ends up downing the whole bottle. “Dood! Where’d ya get this? This water is tasty as fuck!” “Because you’re dehydrated, goofy,” Jimi sighs, and he thinks he catches a hint of a smirk before she walks up to the vanity. “We got twenty minutes to get you ready.”

“Ooh, that’s like, no time at all.” “I’ll make it work.”

Firm fingers find his chin and direct Pickles’ eyes forward to gaze into Jimi’s, brown and bold behind the glint of light that flashes in the lens of her glasses. “Eyes on me.”

Jimi is so fucking pretty, even when she’s being mean. Or maybe she’s not mean, just… focused, or something. Yeah. She wipes the water from his beard with the back of her hand before she begins applying foundation. There’s a faint throb behind Pickles’ eyes, but he keeps his gaze focused on her face, frowning in concentration. “Yer gonna get a wrinkle like that.”

“What?” Ope. He didn’t think he said that out loud. “Er, because yer frownin’, ‘n’ all.”

“I’m not –” Jimi inhales through her nose, making a failed effort to relax her face. “I’m just concentrating.”

“Uh huh.” It’s fucking cute, is what it is, and a grin keeps tugging at Pickles’ mouth.

Which makes Jimi tap his cheek before returning a soft brush there, probably adding blush. “Stop that. What are you smiling so much for, anyway?”

“How can I not? Heh. The view is great.” “Look – look somewhere else!”

Oh, shit. She’s blushing. It’s a subtle thing, but he can tell with the lift of her round cheeks, the growing red tone under her brown skin. That's got Pickles laughing, squirming in his seat. He’s gotta tell Sammy and the guys about this. Or maybe not. This will be just for himself.

“Pickles, I need you to be still,” comes Jimi’s stern voice, reaching to his side for what’s probably her eyeshadow palette.

“I – I can’t,” he giggles, weed and molly and the shots from earlier just making this so funny.

His laughter stops abruptly and he freezes when Jimi suddenly sits down right in his lap, wielding her palette and brush like a sword and shield. “Close your eyes.”

He listens, sucking in a slow breath. The weight of Jimi in his lap sends a lightning storm of signals to his inebriated brain and has him sobering up fast in a good way. His hands naturally find her thighs and he thinks he feels Jimi pause, just for a moment, before she’s back to painting his eyelids.

The dressing room is quiet save for the buzz of the lights and the wild beating of his heart. He sent his assistants out a while ago, wanting some peace and quiet for once, since the interview today just asked for the frontman and lead guitarist of Snakes ‘N’ Barrels. The king, the one-man show, the guy really running shit but he can’t just say that. So he kicked everyone out so he could gather his thoughts and whatever bullshit answers he’d feed the media today.

Except for Jimi, who insisted on staying because she “wasn’t gonna let him go out lookin’ like that”, and then only had one shot with him, the party pooper. He can smell the whiskey on her breath and it’s a rich contrast to the light, earthy scent she otherwise is.

Pickles groans and Jimi shifts on his lap, sucking in a breath. He bets she can feel it. He wishes she’d scoot a little closer. “Jim…” “Open your eyes. Look up.” He looks at her first, brown eyes nearly black, and thinks of a pool he was dared to dive into deep in a forest.

Pickles keeps a vice grip on her thighs as she applies eyeliner. “We’re not going so heavy today. I don’t want you out there looking like a ghost.”

“Mmhm.”

“And the interview shouldn't take too long, so if you wanna nap afterwards, that's fine.”

“Nyuh huh.”

“But you've really gotta get better at washing this off first –”

“How ‘bout you come with me?”

“What?”

“Y'know, heh. Hehe. Fer a nap.”

Jimi finishes darkening his waterline and Pickles looks at her to find her professional countenance crumbling a little. Maybe her chest is heaving a bit beneath that sweater. It's so bulky, he doesn't know why she insists on it in this L.A. heat. She should take it off. He wants to peel it off her.

She hasn't moved off his lap so he rubs his hands up her thighs, slowly, and watches her pretty plush lips part in a gasp. A grin splits his mouth like a knife. He runs his tongue along the edge of his teeth and sees her watch the movement.

“I get the feeling you wanna do more than nap.”

“Nahhh, I'm just gonna put ya to bed we– augh.”

Jimi applies his lipstick with no warning, her wand aggressively smearing pigment onto his mouth. And before Pickles can speak, pressing his lips together, she's dabbing a sponge there.

“Wha–”

“Makin’ it smudge-proof. See?”

And then she leans forward and gives him a peck on the lips and everything in Pickles short circuits. He grabs her ass and she just hums and he feels the storm of lyrics within him. Thunderkiss, I want your lightning lips. Strike me down, baby, I'm going down.

Eh, fuck it. He'll workshop it later. He hitches Jimi further up his lap to no resistance. “That's–” His throat’s gone dry and he wants to wet it with her. “That's hardly a test.”

“No?”

Jimi leans forward, she's definitely smiling now. Her hands are empty and holding onto his shoulders and then he's kissing her for real. And Jimi kisses him back, uncertain and clumsy but it's fine, he's used to being the leading man. It's kind of like she's never really been kissed before. It's a damn shame, and it's fucking fantastic, his hand threading through her mane of hair to keep her close.

Jimi tries to speak between breaths. “You're – mmm – gonna ruin my work.”

“So make me up again,” Pickles replies, hoarse and hungry and trying to lick every bit of whiskey he can still taste on her tongue.

And Jimi whines in the sweetest way, squirming on his lap again and he thinks it's deliberate. Hopes it's deliberate. Her fingers dig into shoulders. “Pickles –”

“Five more minutes.” The stage can wait. Everything can wait. Pickles has never been one to skimp on indulgence and he's going to drink her until the last drop. “Five more minutes.”

#metalocalypse #dethentines2024 #pickles the drummer #jamila calabash #mtl oc #pickle jam #dethentines 2024 #my writing

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myers-meadow · 2 years

Text

Planetarium: Bo Sinclair x reader

Title: Planetarium

Summary: Being Vincent's partner was delightful, as long as it lasted. But things feel off with him, and Ambrose is small. Bo is there to share a cigarette with, and perhaps a little more.

Warnings: Angst and fluff. Themes of betrayal. Cigarettes, alcohol. Little about reader's appearance is mentioned. No explicit descriptions of any kind (not violence, not smut), but there are canon-typical subjects of kidnapping, killing and such. Sfw.

Word count: 3240

It started with a cigarette. I took it from the packet that Bo left on the dinner table after we finished washing up and took it outside. The sun was setting, casting a dim orange hue over the sky. By then, going outside was allowed and I was no longer watched insistently – although Bo could still get suspicious at times. Taking that cigarette and sinking down on the bench on the porch, overlooking the back garden and the woods, I fiddled with a lighter.

The door clattered when he stepped through, my heart sank when I saw it wasn’t Vincent.

“You smoke? That’s new,” Bo said and the bench creaked as he sat down next to me.

“I used to, you know,” I responded, shrugging, still messing with the lighter. Staring at me for another second, then he took the lighter from my hands, flicked it on. I breathed in and the spark caught on.

“Your nails are too long,” he said. Lit himself one too with practiced movements.

“Yeah.”

We sat in silence, watching the sun disappear behind the tree line, smoking.

He cast a glance my way, before speaking. “What’s on your mind, sugar?”

I sighed, exhaled, watched the embers. “You notice Vince’s been off lately? He won’t see me much these days.”

Bo raised his eyebrows. “But he’s crazy ‘bout you.”

“He didn’t talk to you?” I asked. He shook his head. “It feels like he’s been avoiding me. We’ve barely spoken since last week.”

“Ah. Thought he just had a lot on his plate.”

I shrugged. “Don’t we all?”

Bugs buzzed around, heavy bumblebees flew from weed to weed. The garden wasn’t particularly pretty, nor well-kept, but the blackberry bushes and the apple trees gave a good harvest each year. Vincent promised we could try strawberries next year, my favourite. Have Lester go into town for them, make him marmalade and pies in the summer as a thank-you. Lester liked sweet things. Another sigh wracked my body. The questions piled on top of each other, mixing with fears, insecurities, uncertainty. A mosquito landed on my knee, I killed it with one good slap.

“Strawberries would be good,” I mumbled. My hand stung from the impact and I rubbed the spot I hit, then flicked the dead thing into the grass. “Vince said we could try planting them before winter hits. Too bad there won’t be a next year.”

“What ya mean?”

“I mean, if he dumps me, I doubt you’ll let me stay, or live,” I stared at him, watching his surprise.

“Hey now, that’s rather drastic, ain’t it, doll? Wouldn’t want ya to worry about that.” With a good-natured grin, he bumped his shoulder into mine.

“Thanks,” I said, without feeling it, staring at the last rays of light that hit the trees.

Breakfast with Bo in silence, no Vincent. Everything felt heavier when he wasn’t there. When putting the plates in the sink, Bo grabbed my arm.

“Come with me to the station, keep your mind off of things.”

It was a calm day, much like those before I was allowed alone and before Vincent took interest in me. The easiest things to do back then were to busy my hands and follow instructions. This led to cleaning cars, handing them tools, sweeping the floor, stirring wax as it melted in the pot; working alongside them in silence. With time, Bo became more talkative, as did I.

His most recent project was another car, left by the tourists that passed by less than a week ago. A reasonably new one, probably borrowed from one of their parents.

Once I saw the interior of the car, it was clear why he asked me to come. It was littered with empty bottles of Aperol, candy wrappers and sour-smelling beer cans. Crumbs all over the seat and something sticky was spilled over the dashboard. Clearing it out and throwing it in the trashcan was easy. The scrubbing part wasn’t my favourite.

“You’re quiet today,” Bo remarked, from below by the wheels. He cleaned the mud off of the tires and the wheels, before moving on to change the plates. He stretched and threw the rag back into the bucked with soapy water.

I ducked my head inside the car again, plucked a red thong off the backseat. “So are you.”

He gave half a grin, before I stretched the elastic of the thong and flung it at his head. He ducked and it hit the wall behind him, falling onto the workbench.

“Naughty tourists.” Bo grabbed the thing, pinching it between two fingers, before throwing it back at me, grinning the dimples in his cheeks. I caught it and dropped it in the trash.

“The one with the curly hair was cute,” I said, “don’t think she was the type for thongs, though.”

He raised his eyebrows. “They were an interesting bunch, that’s for sure. Spoiled brats.”

“You said the same about me back then.” I shrugged, aware I shouldn’t push him with remarks that dredge up the past like that, but it seemed my brain wouldn’t stop.

It was his turn to grimace, he dried his hands and approached me. “Even so, you proved us wrong.”

He stopped in front of me, a squeeze of the shoulder, before he trailed his fingers over my collarbone, up my neck. It was never entirely comfortable when he came close like this, always a dangerous edge, always Vincent or their stupid rivalry on the back of my mind.

“Doll, look at me.” His calloused fingers reached my chin, pushing it up.

I did, forcing my eyes to his. Bright blue, framed by dark brows and something brewing within – something dark I didn’t care to know. “Ain’t nothing gonna happen to you.”

Quickly, I nodded. Seems like Bo was less sensitive to Vincent’s moods than I was, despite knowing him for longer. Perhaps because he knew him longer. Or perhaps he knew something I didn’t know.

Bo stepped away and I could breathe again. “Get some lemonade from the cooler, will ya?”

“Sure thing, Bo,” and my voice almost sounded normal.

Mustering up the courage was one thing, but my knees felt week as I descended the stairs to the basement. The door was locked, as expected, as he often did when he hid his ongoing projects from prying eyes, so I knocked.

“Vincent, love, please let me in,” I tried, knocking another few times. Soft classical music spilled from the cracks, too low in volume to make out which piece it was. Immediately after I spoke, it was joined by other sounds. The echo of something wooden that creaked. I slapped my hand in front of my mouth and my back hit the wall.

It's not what you think, it’s not what you think.

I found Bo in the living room, silently pried the packet of cigarettes from his breast pocket and took it outside, barely hearing his protests. He followed me to the porch, taking back the packet and holding my shaking hands in his. The roughness of his callouses grounded me. Finally I could look in his eyes.

“What’s gotten you like this?” he asked, voice low. I only shook my head.

“Just- just got a lot on my mind.” Shaky breaths. The sounds from the basement- it was exactly the same as when Vince took me there, strapped me down and fucked me over the workbench. It was one of his favourite places to have me, where he felt most confident.

He gave my hand a squeeze, then planted a cigarette between my fingers, lit it for me, then his own. “That’s alright. We don’ have to talk.”

He stared straight ahead the entire time we sat there. After the cigarettes there were beers. Never once did he look at me, and I trusted him more than I ever had.

In the morning I went down much earlier than normal; couldn’t sleep. Vincent tiptoed around in the kitchen and the wave of relief I felt was quickly shaken off by what happened the day before.

“Hey Vince,” I greeted him, voice soft and low from sleep. “We’ve barely seen each other, I miss you.”

He turned around to see me, gave a simple wave, coffee in hand, and attempted to pass by me around the kitchen table. I grabbed his sleeve. A dangerous game.

“Also, Bo wanted to know when you’ll be done with the statues, since you said you wanted to try some different mechanics in making them move and stuff. Could be a bit of an undertaking.” I shrugged. Released his arm.

Vince signed his answer. “Could be a while still. We’ll see each other tonight, yes?”

I tried a smile, “yeah, tonight.”

Not even a hug, I thought, as he retreated down the stairs again.

A few days went by. I cried a little less then, but sleeping was still difficult. Bo was a rock. Having to say that ‘see you tonight’ implied that I actually expected Vincent to keep his word. Even despite knowing it in my gut, my brain already tried rationalising what I heard when I went down to the basement. Most days that week I went with Bo to help him with the car. After that one was repaired, cleaned, changed enough to make it less noticeably stolen – he took it away to sell. After that was handled, it was quiet.

The mornings were me, stewing, alone, in the chair in the living room. Bo slept in when he could, when there was less work to do, which there was, now that the car was done. The afternoons were us doing chores together, or side by side, and we ate dinner at the table.

Then, a Tuesday, Bo came back after dinner, dusk already passed, he motioned to me.

“Wanna show ya somethin’,” he grinned, taking me by the hand, letting me grab my coat before heading out the door. He carried an old floral blanket over his arm. “It’s not too bad of a walk.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise, sweets.”

His mischievous mood was infectious and I smiled without noticing.

“Oooh, a surprise,” I said. “Let’s go then.”

The dimples in his cheeks standing out more in the last light of the sun, he gave my arm a pull to make me hurry up. “Yes, come on.”

Still jogging at a lazy pace, we reached the middle of town, the church looming ahead of us, only a silhouette as the last light disappeared. My lungs took in gulps of cold, damp night air. The Museum stood, waiting like a gaping mouth.

“The museum; that’s your surprise?” I chuckled, but he just gripped my hand tighter and pulled me to the back of the building. “And why are the street lights off?

“When Vince and I made this town into what it is today, we wanted to make sure we still had enough spots, like to get away to.” Letting go of my hand, he grabbed a metal ladder that laid discarded in the tall grass behind the museum, and righted it against the side of the building.

“The roof?” I asked, with some sense of disbelief. He tested the security of the ladder and then gestured for me to climb it.

“Ladies first,” and with that handsome smile, I’d do just about anything.

It was only natural to distrust the wax a little, but it was perfect, just as the other rooms inside the museum.

“Catch!” Bo called from down there, and messily threw the blanket at me. I barely caught it by the hem and pulled it up, already laying it out over the sandy wax roof, brushing away dead leaves to make space for it. The ladder creaked as Bo came up, and he scooted over to help spread out the blanket.

“So this is your spot?” I asked, looking around. It was nice, such a high vantage point over Ambrose. There was a case of beer and a bottle of wine to the side. Bo dragged them closer, bottle in hand.

“Something like that, yeah.” He twisted the cap from the wine bottle and held it out for me. Inside the case were two glasses. “We can start with wine, I know beer ain’t your favourite.”

“Very kind of you to remember.” I held the glasses as he poured it. “Ho, stop, that’s more than enough,” I chuckled. “You prepared this? With the blanket and all.”

He took a first sip of wine, folded his legs underneath him and pulled a sour face. “Ah, that’s disgusting. Don’t know how you and Vince drink this stuff.”

“Beer isn’t much better.”

“But to answer your question; yes, I did. Though you’d need a moment like this. Can’t really get away from it all, but this is nice, right? Come.” He pat the blanket again, set his glass down, then took mine from me to set next to his. Then he laid down flat, eyes unreadable. As I sank next to him, I saw what he meant. The stars. Hundreds of them. Some glistened brightly, others were dim, and their colours varied. Red, white, yellow, blue, orange…

Speechless, feeling deeply touched by his considerate gesture, I blinked away tears.

“Bo, I’m- this is incredible.”

“There’s little light pollution out here, if we leave all the street lights off,” he said, voice normal, but when I looked to my left, there was something unexplainable in his expression. Perhaps it was just the darkness that cast strange shadows. To avoid it, I looked back up, mesmerised.

We finished the first glass of wine – him only drinking half of it before pouring the rest into my glass – in silence, looking up at the night sky. The air cooled down, but it was just about comfortable once I buttoned up my coat. The second glass went easier, warming the blood in my cheeks. He cracked open a beer and pulled the packet of smokes from his breast pocket.

“Want one?” he said, as his already dangled from his lip. With a vague nod from me, he held one out for me, as I pressed it between my lips much the same as he did. With the flick of the lighter, his hair tickled my temple as we both leaned in to light the cigarette.

The silence returned again as we smoked slowly, letting most of it burn to ash, tapping them against Bo’s old glass as a makeshift ashtray. After that, the wine tasted different, but it was still wine.

My eyes kept returning to the same stars, only to have them dim when looking directly at them. The entirety of the sky was almost overwhelming, and having been out in the dark so long made it not resemble anything of a normal night. It was as if being awake for the first time in months. Of experiencing the world how you do when you travel, how even the simplest things feel special. Words of beauty wouldn’t describe it, beauty was irrelevant – it was an awe so deep I felt it under the skin. I sighed deeply, emptying out all the old air that resided in my lungs. Sat up to replenish the wine, then laid back down. Along with it all was a heaviness I did my best to shove away, and as I looked at the depth of the sky, it was all so far away.

Once again my eyes trailed over to the side, catching sight of Bo’s profile. Not often I got to see his face at rest. Older too, noticeably older than the early 20s college students we had out here a week or two ago. Years would flow by out here, leaving their marks on him. I opened my mouth to say something without even knowing what, and he turned his head, catching me before I could form any words. His eyes crinkled as he smiled widely. One of the arms he had folded underneath his head extended and he brushed over my temple, then trailing to my eyebrow and I let my eyes flutter close as he explored my face. The rustling of clothes as he shifted. His fingers almost tickled on my cheek as he followed the shape of it, and that of old acne scars. A waft of his scent, something like wood, warmth, and the smell of tobacco on the tips of his fingers.

“Tell me to stop,” he said, a sudden break in the silence, but it barely registered before his lips touched mine. It took a moment to kiss him back. I never thought he’d be soft like this. A dog with all bark and no bite. A nudge of his hand under my chin was enough to make me open my lips for him, to feel the scrape of his tongue against mine. He only pressed closer and closer, letting me taste him deeper, letting our teeth clash – the curve of his lips as he smiled into the kiss.

He cursed as he lifted himself up to lean over me, making sure not to lean on my hair – almost annoyed with having to break the kiss. We re-joined and something swirled inside me, stringing along into gut and liver and spleen, something that was deeply a part of me for a long time. It all jumbled together. As it got difficult to breath, panting into his mouth from the force of his kisses, the denim of his jacket scratching my collar bones, it was my lungs that the feeling invaded. After that, into the stomach, and it twisted and turned around the new nervous feeling and the abundance of wine.

Bo sighed as he pulled back for breath, eyes half-lidded, wearing a lazy smile, letting his accent drawl more than usual: “How can you feel so right?”

And I believed him. The charmer, the scheming face of Ambrose, the one who isn’t to be trusted – in that moment he was all I ever wanted.

My fingers tangled in his hair as I pulled him back down to me, biting down on his bottom lip. A calloused thumb pressed my mouth open further, giving him free reign to explore. My other hand at his hip, feeling the warmth of his skin as I pulled his shirt up, feeling the muscle that laid over his back. He nuzzled his nose against mine, opening his eyes to look at me and I did the same. How could it feel as though we have the same will? This was new, but it felt like coming home. Fingertips followed the indent of his spine, up and down to the waistband of his jeans.

“Bo, I-”

“Shh, not now,” he said softly, kissing me again. I dug my nails in, pulling him as close as I could.

“More,” I said, and he chuckled, before kissing his way to my ear.

“Only if you sleep by my side tonight,” his hot breath ticking the sensitive skin and warming me in places I shouldn’t feel so heated from such a simple action. Hand kneading a breast through layers of fabric.

“Always,” I answered, breathless. Over his shoulder there were the stars, countless and without any consideration of life on earth. Tomorrow I won’t wake with the same hope, but the feeling that crawled its way into my heart will rest easy in his arms.

#bo sinclair #vincent sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #house of wax fanfic #angst #bo sinclair angst #bo sinclair fluff #meadow's writing #slashers #slasher x reader #slasher fandom #house of wax #slasher community #fluff

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