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sup-hoes-its-me · 3 years

Note

I have a Shikamaru request! It’s a bit long winded so dust with me 😊. Shikamaru is assigned to protect reader who is the last of her clan that a lot is not known about. (So he also has the secret mission of finding our more about the clan and their abilities). They end up falling for each-other (of course). And after reader finds out she is pregnant she learns that Shikamaru was meant to learn about her. I’m seeing some angsty fluffy goodness! And hopefully a happy ending. 🥰

Healing You (Shikamaru x Reader)

A/N: Thank you for your request! These long detailed ones are perfect and give me just enough information to give you the perfect story. I skipped the pregnancy part because im not totally comfortable with that...hopefully you still enjoy.

word count: 5500

Shikamaru had been anticipating this mission for a while. The Hokage told him it was of utmost importance to be ready at any time for this clan princess to show up. He was expected to drop all other missions or plans to escort this woman, whoever she was across the country to her homeland deep within Frost country. He wasn’t expecting much, actually he was expecting probably the worst client ever.

For someone to request escort at the drop of a hat like that, someone with enough money to do so as well... Shikamaru could only assume they were an asshole of the highest caliber. Probably some old woman or a spoiled little child, someone he definitely would not get along with for a month long mission just the two of them. He could remember the urgency in Kakashi’s tone when he assigned the mission, the amount of trust behind his words.

Shikamaru walked into the office casually, hands shoved deep in his pants pockets. Kakashi sat there alone at his desk, looking through paperwork and sifting through piles of white sheets, each with different names and faces. He must have thought long and hard about who he was to pick for this mission, the boy concluded.

This was going to be tiresome, he deduced quickly. Another tedious mission.

“Shikamaru, I have an important mission for you,” the man said clearly. “You can look through these files, if you want, but we don’t have any clear information on this one, I’m afraid.” He tossed over a folder full of records. Death receipts, birth certificates, first hand accounts of battles witnessed. He didn’t know what to make of what he was looking at other than a common last name running across the pages.

Hirawa.

“What is this about?” he questioned.

“In about a month's time, possibly longer, possibly shorter, I don’t have an exact date, you will escort Princess Y/N Hirawa, of the hidden Hirawa clan to the Land of Frost.”

“Who’s on my team?”

He shook his head at that question. “No one. This is a solo mission, and I’m entrusting you alone with this. It’s important you keep your mouth shut about all of this until we know it’s safe, for you and the princess.” Safe? Just what kind of mission was this anyway? Obviously it had something to do with this clan, not that he’d ever heard of them. “She has a bounty on her head, quite large at that. But we believe she can become the key to mastering some ninjutsu, particularly medical jutsu.”

“Well, what’s her clan’s kekkei genkai?”

“That’s what we don’t know, and for you to find out. All we know is that there's some dangerous people out there who want this power, and we need to protect her at all costs, you understand,” he stressed, and Shikamaru nodded. This wasn’t that big of a deal, he guessed. Protecting one girl from some rookie bounty hunters, not to mention he was being sent out alone. This was going to be a walk in the park.

The worst part of it all would be putting up with some troublesome girl for an entire month. Making conversation and having to pretend she wasn’t getting on his last nerve. That would tire him the most.

“Rumor has it, she was never able to awaken her ability, so I’m hoping you can help coax it out of her and see what we’re dealing with.”

“Of course. I’ll figure it out.”

“Good. I’m counting on you. You should take the files to look over in your free time, you’ll have lots of it before this mission. I have copies here for myself,” he motioned to another folder on her desk filled to the brim with papers just like the one he was holding. It was strange to have so much information at their fingertips, but not enough to put a description to their kekkei genkai. They must be secretive, similar to how the Uchiha hides their secrets on the stone tablet, or something.

He left the Sixth Hokage’s office and walked away to his home, where he could more closely go over the information in this folder, try to deduce something from all this random information. He would get to the bottom of this, he was a genius after all. Whether he had the help of this woman or not, he would figure it out for the Hokage.

And so, here he stood outside of Kakashi’s office with all his supplies packed in his bag, dressed for a long mission away from home. The princess had arrived. He was to meet her and then immediately they were supposed to leave off to her homeland.

The Anbu officer to his left opened the door, and motioned for him to walk in. So uptight for just a little meeting, was all this security really necessary, he wondered to himself. As he looked into the room, he spotted Kakashi standing along the window behind his desk with a smaller woman at his side, wrapped up in thick robes made of wool, embroidered with thick silver and white yarn.

Admittedly, her clothes looked incredibly expensive. He questioned how she wasn’t sweating bullets with the typical warm weather outside here in Konoha. He was expecting her to turn around, to be this hideous creature.

“Ah, Y/N, it seems your escort has arrived,” Kakashi hummed, placing a soft hand on the woman’s back as she turned around. When he finally got a good look at her face, he was taken aback, nearly enough to throw him off balance. She was decidedly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life. Wrapped up in those blankets was a young woman, who couldn't be much older than he was, with piercing eyes that immediately cut through his.

Her hair fell just perfectly around her face to frame her features, the soft color suiting her eyes and skin perfectly. Her eyelashes flickered over her eyes a few times as she gazed over at him, and he felt swoon. She had the softest skin he’d ever seen combined with those mesmerizing eyes and the shape of her face which looked like it belonged cradled in his hands.

He felt this inert urge to run in the opposite direction from her, out the room and down the hall, back to home where he could catch his breath. He already knew his cheeks were turning bright red under her stare, and he could tell Kakashi was judging him with those dark eyes of his.

“It’s nice to meet you, Shikamaru Nara,” she hummed, and he felt faint. Even her voice was precious, almost like she was singing. He choked down his breaths, trying to keep his cool the best he could. It was uncharacteristic of him to act this way with a client. He was just her escort, not some pervert. They were going to live together for basically a month, he needed to get a grip on his emotions. “Your Hokage was telling me great things about you.”

“Oh, uh,” he paused, frozen without words to leave his lips, just an empty mind full of her image. He shook his head a bit, eyes now glaring down at the floorboards beneath him. “You too, Princess.”

“Please, just call me Y/N. Princess is just too formal for me,” she told him, waving off the title almost as quickly as it left his mouth. “Kakashi, it was nice getting to know you this morning, I hope to see you and your wonderful village again soon.”

“You’re welcome back whenever you like.”

She rounded the table and approached Shikamaru carefully, eyeing him down as she did so. She took in his appearance and his stance, the emotions she could see radiating off his person from his body language. From the looks of it, he simply appeared flustered and confused. Not exactly the most ideal for the situation at hand, but they would manage. Men usually had a similar reaction when they saw her for the first time, either they were in awe or they were trying to kidnap her.

He nodded in her direction and then to the Hokage before turning around and starting out the door, the girl following closely behind him. He could hear the swishing of her thick robes around her ankles, just barely skimming the floor. He still didn’t know her personality at all, but he wouldn’t mind looking at her once in a while on this trip.

“So, why are you heading to the Land of Frost?” he asked, and she sighed.

“One of the village elders is dying. They believe my kekkei genkai is the only way to reverse the incoming death, and its consequence on my people,” she explained.

“Why doesn’t another one of your clan members do it? Surely the rest of your family lives-”

“There is no one else. I am the last living Hirawa,” she told him simply, and he could sense a bit of ice dripping off her tongue at those words. How could she not be upset recalling the annihilation of her entire clan. “The problem is that I haven’t been able to awaken my kekkei genkai. I’m not sure what they want with a useless Hirawa like me.”

“Listen, I’m sorry about your clan, but calling yourself useless really isn’t-”

“How would you feel, Shikamaru, if you were the only person in the world with the ability to save a human being from their certain death and you couldn’t even activate that gift? You have to understand how that feels for me,” she told him solemnly, her head hung low as she walked toward the gates of the village right beside the boy. People looked at her as she moved through the village, they stared in awe at her clothes and her face and the unique glimmer in her eyes. And she cowered inward, tucking herself into her robes and the fur of her hood even further, away from the prying eyes of this village.

He stayed silent, not really knowing how to respond to what she’d said to him. The sadness and the anger in her tone, deep within her words, was immeasurable. She was in pain, a conflict with herself. He wasn’t going to get into that just yet. They’d only met a few minutes ago.

They left the village together and started on their journey. It was going to be a long month, that’s for sure.

________

It had been a week of walking through the forest already, days of sleeping on the ground beneath the stars, eating rations out of his bag over the fireplace. Originally, he thought this mission would be easy, that she seemed like a normal-ish girl who wouldn’t give him any trouble, but he was wrong.

She was too quiet. It was strange, walking with someone for hours without a single word shared between them. He tried to start up a conversation, and she would reply with one word answers, sometimes if he was lucky, two or three words. She rarely looked at him, choosing to either stare at the ground where she took each step, or up at the stars and the vastness of it all. She was lost in her own mind.

Every night, as they were falling asleep, he could hear her looking over at him, scanning his form for a sign that he was still awake. He would remain still, facing the opposite way on his side, head propped up on his bag. Then, when she thought she was safe, he would hear the sobs run through her weak form. She would shake and quiver, curling in on herself and crying out into the forest for only Shikamaru and the moon to hear.

He felt terrible for her, needless to say. The guilt he felt just from hearing her cries, and knowing her internal struggle was enough to make this trip difficult. His heart hurt for her, as strange as that was to say. Normally, it was easy to remain objective, but with Y/N, it was different. He felt attached. He felt like her problems were also his. It was maddening.

She laid on the ground beside him, the majority of her soup still in her bowl and her water bottle resting at her side. She stared up into the clouds, occasionally, her eyes would slide over to see what he was up to and then she would look back at the sky. “You need to eat. We have a lot of walking until we reach the next town, probably a week’s worth. I can’t carry you if you get too tired,” he told her, pushing her bowl closer to her side.

“You know, Shikamaru, sometimes I wonder why people like you Leaf nin even protect someone like me. What’s the point? I’m useless to you and the enemy,” she muttered hopelessly. He still pushed the soup closer until she sat up and took the bowl into her hands, taking a small sip from the spoon. “I just don’t get it. How can you call me princess when I’m just as normal as the next woman on the street?”

“Listen, I don’t know what anyone else has told you, but that’s a load of bullshit.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, just because you can’t access your abilities right now doesn’t make you useless. You’re still a person just like everyone else,” he explained, stabbing his spoon into his soup as he found himself getting a little worked up. He couldn’t stand this self-pitying bullshit from her. Yeah, she was sad and all, but she didn’t have to rub it into the wound like this.

She looked surprised at his words.

What did she expect him to say? That she was right and then just abandon her out in the woods? He was beginning to think this girl was just plain stupid.

“It’s just been impossible since the incident to think of anything else. I’m sorry for upsetting you,” she sighed, taking another sip of her now cold soup.

He questioned carefully. “What incident?” He was on a mission after all. To discover her clan secrets and bring them back to the village to study. Even if she was being emotional, he could still gather some intel.

She bit her lip, and looked up to the sky again, blinking back tears from gathering in the corners of her eyes. She took a few deep breaths before explaining herself. “The day my clan was massacred. The day that those people slaughtered my sensei in front of the entire village and then killed my parents.”

He paused, lifting his eyes to look at her. She was crying, as he expected, silent tears dripping from her eyes into her lap. But she was holding strong otherwise, not a falter in her voice or a catch in her breath. She wasn’t even shaking. She was really serious about keeping these emotions private, in the middle of the night where he couldn’t hear or see.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he assured, but she shook her head.

“I’m fine. I should talk about it anyway. I haven’t had a person to talk to in years, you know.” Sitting on her face was the saddest of all smiles, a weak attempt at remaining strong. She wiped at her eyes with her wrist and continued. “I’m not even sure why they wanted us all dead, but it had something to do with the war and my clan’s actions. They were barbaric. They slit the throat of my sensei in town square and we watched her blood drip across town while they carried her head.”

“Oh, damn.”

“I know,” she agreed, “As sick as it is to say, I’m glad they only stabbed my parents with a sword. We used to be royalty, it took them killing an entire army of soldiers to get to the throne room to kill them. I was only a child hiding in the curtains, I had to watch without making a sound. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t even breathe, or they would have killed me too.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. That’s horrific.”

“When they left, it was only me. I had to walk my way to one of the outer villages for help. I was a mess, covered in my parents blood. They’d stolen everything. All the secrets of the clan. I never got the chance to read the sacred texts. I only know from my Sensei the very basics of what we can do.”

He absorbed what she had said, taking in each word. Admittedly, she lived a terrible, horrible life, one to rival Sasuke at that. He asked, “You haven’t been able to retrieve any of the texts, have you?”

“No, unfortunately. That’s why it’s taken me this long to figure out how to unlock my ability. I literally do not know how,” she confessed, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. “It feels strange, knowing I have this ultimate healing ability and I can’t even use it to save anyone.”

“Ultimate healing ability?”

“Well, yeah. That’s our kekkei genkai. We can heal basically anything besides death. Blindness, deafness, rotting limbs, in some cases, paralysis. I’m not sure how it works, but that’s what it does. That’s why they want me to come home so desperately. I’m the only one left who can heal her.”

“You’ll figure it out,” he stated bluntly, and she tilted her head to the side in confusion.

“What?”

He reiterated, “You’ll figure out how to use your kekkei genkai. I believe in you. You’re beautiful, smart, and modest, not a fool.”

She found her cheeks begin to heat up at his words, and she leaned back, her eyes catching onto his. “Thank you, Shikamaru. It’s not everyday I get earnest compliments like that.” It was true. Normally, she did get compliments, but not the nice kind. She would often get harrassed on the street by men without brains, or recieve backhanded comments from people of her own village who hated her for what she could not be.

He shook his head, “Well, you should. You’re a strong woman, you just need more faith in yourself. You have almost no self-confidence whatsoever.” He was right about that too. Sad, wasn’t it? “You’re obviously a good person, so be proud of yourself. Not a lot of people could have gone through what you did and still be on the good side to this day.”

“I-” Y/N froze, her eyes growing wide. “Did you hear that?” she asked, her eyes flickering from Shikamaru into the woods. There were voices, soft and quiet voices, but they were still there, hush in the background. He stood up on his feet, and motioned for her to stay down close to the ground.

“Come out, whoever you are.”

And, indeed, a group of men emerged from the forest, at least ten of them. They sauntered up to the pair and the leader smirked. “We’re not here to hurt you, Leaf shinobi. Just hand over the princess and no harm will come to you,” he said, his voice musty and disgusting, like he’d been smoking cigarettes everyday for the past ten years. They knew, clearly, that a leaf shinobi wasn’t just about to abandon their charge and go running for the hills. His request was a joke.

Y/N wasn’t a fighter. She couldn’t help even if she wanted to. She was solely a healer, and even then, her skills were shaky at best. She could only do the most menial and mediocre of work on her patients. Shikamaru was against these men completely alone.

She felt fear creeping up her spine and sending shivers through her body. She barely knew the boy, had only known him for a week or so, but damn, did she like him. He was kind to her, one of the kindest people she’d met in a long time. She wanted him to be safe, to save her and come out on top like the shinobi of the Leaf are supposed to.

He turned around and waved for her to run. “Princess, Imma need you to run. I’ll come find you when it’s safe. Just go.”

She was hesitant to take off, but one stern look from him shot down any thought of staying. The woman gathered up her robes and ran in the opposite direction of the crew and her protector. Immediately after she left, she heard screaming from behind, the shouts of men in pain and men filled with anger. So much yelling. She held her breath, and kept running, running until she could only hear the faint yells of the men. She couldn’t hear Shikamaru. He was far too quiet to have those loud theatrics on the battlefield.

Y/N took cover in the roots of a tree, and just listened, felt what was going on around her. She studied the chakra signatures floating through the air, counting how many men still lived and how many were alive and well. Likewise, she kept close track of Shikamaru’s energy, making sure he was still going.

If he died, she didn’t know what would come of her. Would she be sold off? Murdered? She knew of the unspoken bounty on her head amongst the criminals, and that struck fear in her heart. All she could do was pray for Shikamaru’s survival.

After what seemed like hours but in reality only about 10 minutes, the screams and shouts finally came to a halt. The chakra signatures of most of the men were completely gone, meaning they had died sometime during the battle. Only some remained, and they were weakened severely, probably passed out or bleeding out.

Shikamaru’s alarmed her. It was weak, almost as weak as the rest. She crawled out from under the tree and started back in the direction of the campsite, keeping her head low nearly in a crouch to stay unseen. There was no telling what was happening over there or who was still out here.

When she got to the campsite though, her eyes widened and she nearly screamed. While the rest of the men collapsed on the ground in bloody heaps, Shikamaru lay in the middle of them, bleeding out from a ginormous wound protruding from his side. She fell onto her knees beside his barely breathing form and held her hands over the wound, trying her best to run her chakra through her, but she was weak. Only a faint light emanating from her hands, not enough to come close to saving him.

“Shikamaru? Shikamaru, can you hear me? Please, try to stay awake, okay?” the girl pleaded, resting one of her soft hands on his cheek. He sighed into her touch. It was just as he imagined. Warm and gentle, like the caress of a feather. At least, if he were to die, it would be in the arms of an angel, he decided.

“You need to head back to the Leaf. Tell Kakashi what happened,” he sputtered out, blood leaving his lips and dripping down the sides of his face. “I lived a good life.”

“No, no, no. You are not dying on me. Not happening,” she whispered. She continued to pour her chakra into his wound, not that it was doing anything serious. Tears filled her eyes and she bit her lip, trying to keep them from falling, but she couldn’t help it. All these tears plagued her life. Memories that made her cry. All the pressure. All the death. Poor Shikamaru lying here dying after saving her life. “I’m going to save you,” she muttered firmly.

Pressure built up in her chest and she pushed further and further, digging deeper into her chakra reserve. It actually hurt the amount of effort she was putting in. It was exhausting, and after about a minute, she was gasping for breath. “Stop. It’s okay, princess.”

“Dammit, Shikamaru, I told you not to call me princess, “ Y/N shouted, and in that moment, she felt something shift inside her. A well of energy she never knew she had opened up and she felt it being filled not by her own chakra but by the men around her. Her body absorbed every last bit of chakra in their bodies, filling hers completely. When Shikamaru looked up at her, he noticed a slight glow coming from her skin that wasn’t there before.

It seemed she awoke her kekkei genkai.

With all the newfound energy she had, she channelled it into saving Shikamaru. Right in front of her eyes, his wound began to close and blood sunk back into his body. He groaned at the feeling, shifting uncomfortably on the ground. Finally, she had done something great.

And as she watched the last bit of his wound shut and the blood to seep back into his body, she found herself grow lightheaded.

As she was passing out, she heard him calling her name, and the only thing she could do was smile. She did it. She saved him. Her vision went black and sleep overtook her swiftly.

________

After Y/N saved Shikamaru and awoke her kekkei genkai, the boy gathered up both of their belongings, hoisted them over his shoulder, and then carried her in his arms to the next village. She wasn’t waking up anytime soon, he found that was probably a bad side effect of using the ability. It completely drained her. He just knew he had to move before any of those guys woke back up. He was not ready to fight again.

He enjoyed feeling her in his arms, pressed tightly to his chest with her head lolling side to side. Y/N was sweet and cute, with her little, “don’t call me princess” proclamation before saving him. It seemed she was just as much a princess as everyone thought she was, and a powerful one at that. She basically brought him back from the dead, and he would be grateful for his entire life for what she’d done for him.

The two of them rested for the night in a village inn just a couple miles away before waking up the next morning and setting off with a new bounce in her step toward your homeland where she was sure she could save the village elder now. He watched as the girl walked eagerly in front of him, swinging her robes by her sides and letting her hair loose instead of a tight braid.

This side of her, it was gorgeous. She was gorgeous. Maybe, he found himself harboring just a tiny crush on the girl who saved his life, the girl who took his breath away when they first met. Maybe he liked her a lot. It was pointless to have such feelings for a girl he would probably never meet again after dropping her off in her homeland.

But he could enjoy his time now, with the girl of his dreams at his side.

He found himself wanting more time with her. Much more time. He knew they only had about a week before they arrived in the Land of Frost, and it was depressing him. He wanted her to come back to the village with him and live there, just so he could see her face everyday and hear that sing-song voice run off her tongue.

Was that so much to ask for? Well, yes, but he still wanted it…

They found themselves stopped for the night or two in a village on the coast. She was tired from all the walking and sleeping in the grass. She was willing to spend a few dollars to have a nice bed to sleep in for the night. She booked a room at one of the inns in town and collapsed into the mattress in the room, throwing her robes to the side and cuddling into the comforter. It had been so long since she was living in such comfortable conditions.

He took a seat beside her and pulled out a book, flipping to the most recent page and diving in. He was more than happy to finally rest. He was lazier than she was, after all. They had been walking for almost a month now, he was tired of it. The only thing that kept him going was seeing her smile every now and then, especially the ones directed at him, or in response to something he said.

Something about those smiles just made him feel good inside. It was sickening. These mushy, gushy feelings he was having. He was beginning to think he might be falling for the girl, like, falling in love. He was disturbed. Was he really that weak to a pretty face, soft hands, and a warm heart?

“Shikamaru?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ll be home in a week, and you’ll have to go back to the Leaf Village,” she said. He nodded. At that point, they would go their separate ways and it would all be over, this friendship they had. He’d never felt so torn about a mission until now.

He replied casually, “Yeah. Time flies, huh?”

She held her breath for a moment, thinking over her next words very carefully. She’d actually been pondering when she was gonna tell him over the last few days, thinking over every way the scenario could play out. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to leave you, Shikamaru,” she confessed, finally letting go of the breath she was holding.

He raised a brow, setting down his book and turning to face her. “What do you mean?”

“Well...it’s just that your Hokage seems to really like me, and I don’t really have a home anymore with my clan gone,” she mumbled, twiddling her fingers in her lap. “I was thinking maybe after I heal the elders and the village that I could go home with you instead. Live in the leaf village.”

He just looked at her. Had all his longing been for nothing? Could she really mean it? Coming home with him? Could his future really involve seeing her every day, introducing her to his best friends, and healing his people when they were injured?

“I mean, if you don’t think it’s a good idea, though, I totally get it-”

“No! I-I love that idea, actually.”

“Really?”

“Would I say it if I didn’t mean it?”

He watched as her lips curled into a bright smile and she clasped her hands together. “Shikamaru, I’m so happy. You and the other Leaf nin are the only people to show me any kindness in a long time. I get to go home to people that will care about me.”

“Yeah, we’re pretty good at that back in the Leaf. Caring, that is.”

She fell back against the bed and sighed, curling up in the sheets once again. He watched as she smiled into the covers and closed her eyes, relishing in this feeling of newfound freedom and happiness, of the hope she found in him and the village. Despite finding women troublesome most of the time, he was willing to go through trouble for her. He felt like he’d do just about anything for this girl.

So unlike him. Tch. Get a grip, Shika.

Her next words had him melting like putty in her hands though. He just couldn’t help it.

"I'm glad you were assigned this mission with me. You helped me awaken my abilities, and I think it was fate that brought us together for that to happen," she sighed. "This meeting, you and I, it was always meant to be. I'm sure of it now."

"Maybe you're right. I wouldn't know," he replied.

It was quiet for a while, just her lost in her own dreams, her own thoughts. Her eyes trailed over to him, and she just knew she was swoon. With his lazy grin and his thoughtful gaze. It was so obvious to her now.

She confessed, “I think I like you. As more than just a friend, Shikamaru. I know I probably shouldn’t be telling you this considering I still need you to escort me to the village and all, and you might not want me to go back to the Leaf with you now, but I just-”

He couldn’t wait anymore. He was going crazy. Finally, he kissed her.

She felt his hands resting on either side of her head and his lips pressed carefully to hers, testing the waters. She brought her own hands up to cup his own, bringing him closer and deeper into the kiss. She smiled and sighed, enjoying the feeling of pure bliss. It had been so long since she felt something so good. Something so sweet.

“You like me too?”

“You’re dumb as hell.”

And he kissed her again. And again. And maybe a couple more times after that.

#shikamaru x reader #naruto x reader #shikamaru x you #naruto #shikamaru nara #shikamaru imagine #shikamaru one shot #naruto one shot #naruto imagine #imagine #x reader #oneshot #naruto x you #naruto x y/n #shikamaru x y/n

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heartbreakgrill · 3 years

Text

Birthday Girl; Luke Alvez

description: pining after a fellow team member adds a little bit of spice to your birthday celebrations

a/n: ahhhhh this is my first time writing for criminal minds and I’m so nervous to share. I want to write more for them, especially for the entire team because they make me happy 😚 enjoy, kids!

“Tonight! Tonight! It all happens tonight!”

You spun your office chair around, facing the giddy glee that was Penelope Garcia. She had a party hat on, extra glitter upon her cheeks, and was singing incredibly off-key. Your eyes flickered to her hands as they moved towards you. Next thing you knew, you were wearing a sparkly, pink princess crown and a sash stating you were the birthday girl.

Your cheeks turned a bright red, but you stood nonetheless and enveloped Penelope in a hug. “Happy birthday, my dearest, most beautiful-est, wonderful, sweet little munchkin baby!”

You giggled into her shoulder, inhaling her sweet perfume and attitude. “Thank you, Pen.”

She squeezed you, rocking the two of you side to side. You wobbled on your heeled booties and took the liberty of pushing her off of you before she could knock you down.

“I swear to the sweet, sweet heavens above that if your birthday gets interrupted by some sick weirdo, I will be absolutely unhappy,” Penelope followed you to your desk as you sat back down. She leaned against it, eyes at the heavens and a fist raised, too.

You planted your elbows on the desk, “It’s okay, Pen. We can always celebrate when we get back, if we have a case. Which we won’t. Because you’re manifesting it.”

Penelope looked at you firmly, “You’re dang right I am. But don’t think I don’t know you’re thinking of ways to get out of it. I know you’re not a little social butterfly, but please, just let me have this one birthday.”

You had worked at the BAU for 5 years, but you were a quiet little thing. You went out for drinks and hung out with your little family often, but you didn’t like when all of the attention was on you. It was slightly unprofessional whenever you would stutter during profiles, but you tried your best.

However, this year, Penelope had managed to talk you into allowing her to throw you a birthday night you would never forget. You didn’t know the itenerary, but the get up she’d put on you was tell enough that it would be all eyes on you.

The rest of the team slowly trickled in as the day began, Penelope continuing to talk your ear off. You responded every once and awhile, sometimes barely able to get much in. Everyone had gotten there, but they came in small crowds, so they hadn’t really noticed you yet.

Spencer was the first to point out the tiara and sash. He was coming over with a cup of coffee and muffin he had bought for you at the cafe down the street. It was your birthday, after all, and he was celebrating with a kind gesture.

He set it down beside your folded hands with a smirk. “What’s this, Y/N?” He tugged at the points on the crown.

You blushed, glaring up at him. You nodded your head towards Penelope, who trailed off and met pretty boy’s eyes. “Don’t even, Reid. It is my baby’s birthday and I am finally allowed to celebrate it,” she warned him with a pointed finger.

The word birthday caught the attention of the rest of the team. Matt was especially drawn in because it was his first year with the team.

“I didn’t know it was your birthday, Y/N,” he spoke from across the aisle.

You spun in your chair, cheeks bright red and lips pursed. “Yes, it is.”

“Well, happy birthday, agent...or, I guess, princess.”

The team burst into laughter, Spencer setting a friendly hand on your shoulder. He leaned down and whispered, “Good luck.”

You turned back to your desk and began to fill out more files. Luckily, everybody found their seats and began their work for the day. The rest of the bullpen had gone up in action. A few minutes later, you looked up as a hastened Luke Alvez bounded through the doors. His desk was right next to yours, divided by the plastic overhangs. He sat down, muttering a good morning without even looking at you.

You were so thankful he didn’t notice the crown. It was enough that the entire team had pointed out the get out, and that tonight, they’d all have their entire attention on you. You didn’t need a hot, fit man teasing you about it, too.

But, eventually, when Luke stood up to get coffee, he saw. “You need a refill, Y/N...”

You knew as soon as he trailed off what was to come. You looked up at him timidly, already red in the face. “Yes, please.”

You held out your coffee cup, eyes not meeting his as he gently smiled at you. “Sure.”

He took the mug and left for the kitchen. Your brows furrowed slightly at the fact that he didn’t even say anything. When he came back, he set the mug down beside your half eaten muffin. His palm planted on your desk and he whispered in your ear, “Happy birthday, princess.”

You hung your head, hot all over the place. It was different when it came from Spence and Matt, who you saw as just friends. You had the biggest crush on Luke. And that just sent you over the edge. You bit down on your bottom lip, hard. Luke slumped into his seat with a cheeky smirk. His eyes glanced over at you occasionally. Oh, god. He knew.

You stood from your desk at lunch time before anybody else, quickly striding to Penelope’s office. You threw the door open and closed, loudly.

“Aw! I was going to bring you lunch to you desk, with this cute little unicorn cupcake I bought for you...you look like you just got flashed. Are you okay?” Penelope pulled you into her abandoned chair.

You let out a deep sigh of breath, tugging off your blazer. “I’m so, I’m so...I’m so ugh! He’s so hot, and he knows it. And I’m pretty sure he knows that I think he’s hot, and he’s just so smug, I can’t deal with it. Like, look at his stupid face, Penelope! It’s- UGH!”

Penelope giggled at your reaction. She grabbed your hands and squeezed on tight. “Listen, my love, deep breaths. Is it really so bad if he finds out you’ve been pining over him for a year?”

“Yes! Yes it would! He’s, like, a 20 outta 10. And I’m, like, at least just a 6,” You exclaimed.

Penelope stomped a foot, making you jump in your seat. “Excuse me! Don’t talk about my best friend like that. You are a 1,000. Hell, you are infinite out of 10. Plus, hes just a man. Since when were you so concerned with men and their opinions?”

“Since one made me feel like I was a 10th grade again...” you pouted up at your friend.

Penelope awed at your expression, dropping your hands and wobbling over to her purse. She brought out a purple unicorn cupcake, as promised. She cracked open the plastic covering and set it front of you.

“Eat away the feelings, love. I will be right back with some flower-cut finger sandwiches and homemade lemonade,” Penelope turned to leave, but you stood and tugged her into a hug.

“I’m sorry for being so grouchy about my birthday. I just hat-“

“The attention. I know. It’s alright,” she pulled back and tapped your nose, “I just want to celebrate my beautiful best friend. After today, I will leave you alone. Forever.”

You scoffed as she left, “Yeah, right.”

The day soon came to a close, though you felt like throwing up as each hour passed. Luke continued to make remarks, little, flirtatious ones that had you squirming in your seat. You bit back with quiet mhm’s and sarcastic one-liners. Each time you focused on your work, you felt his eyes watching you. You flipped him off at one point, only gaining a wolf whistle that made you look up and a cheeky wink with, “You make it so hard to love you.”

Penelope dragged you back to your car and into your apartment as quick as possible. She wouldn’t tell you what time things were happening, or what was happening at all. Just that the team would meet you all there. She tossed open the doors to your closet, tearing through the hangers like a wolf.

“You better be coming tomorrow morning to clean this all up,” you crossed your legs and leaned back in your bed. Your birthday had landed on a Friday, lucky enough.

“Oh, yeah, yeah. I’m just trying to find something that screams, ‘Luke Alvez, let me climb you like a tree, but also bend me over the desk because it is my birthday!’”

You gasped the loudest you had ever, pure shock overcoming you. “Penelope Garcia, that was the filthiest thing you have ever, ever said!”

Penelope was giggling inside your closet, but cut herself off with a gasp that matched your own. “I found it! I found it, I found it.”

She pulled out a black dress you had bought a while ago for JJ’s wedding. You never ended up wearing it because you felt it drew too much attention to your chest, and you were nervous for that. But Penelope threw it over your head and turned her focus to your curling iron.

“No if’s, and’s, or but’s, my love. You are wearing it. No questions! No complaints! Hurry!”

Eventually, you were ready to go, matching Penelope’s height in blush pink, open-toed heels. Penelope had taken off your everyday makeup and went completely nuts. She made you look incredibly hot in a way you couldn’t even describe. You felt attractive as you walked with Penelope to her car.

The first stop on the birthday celebration, after Penelope had argued with you to put back on the crown and sash (you had), was a really fancy restaurant. You and Penelope often admired it from afar, every time you walked this street to shop and get drinks with the girls. One time, you’d even walked in to see how much it would be and automatically turned around.

“Don’t even try to object, just get out of the car,” Penelope had ran around the car after throwing it in park, pulling open your door excitedly.

She grabbed your arm and tugged you from your seat. You stumbled onto your heels, balancing on the concrete of the sidewalk. You clutched your purse to your chest as the feelings of insecurity and nerves inhabited your body. Penelope threw her arm into your and set the pace. Inside, the hostess asked for the name and you weren’t surprised that it was under ‘Rossi.’

The entire team was sitting at a lengthy table in a private, little corner of the building. You slouched as you noticed them, stopping in your tracks. Penelope didn’t say much, just pushed back your shoulders, patted your cheek, and presented a wide grin. You felt slightly better and put on faux confidence as you made your way to the table.

“Hey! Look who finally arrived!” Dave held up his champagne glass, dressed in his same old two piece suit.

Spencer, Emily, and Matt twisted in their seats to look at you. Luke and Dave were across from them and your breath hitched when the former looked up from the menu in his hands. He smiled cheekily, eyes flickering up and down your body.

Everyone stood up, exchanged hugs as if you hadn’t just seen each other. Penelope sat across from Matt, next to Dave, leaving the only open seat at the head of the table, next to Spencer and Luke.

Luke hugged you last, large hands gently pressing against your hip and back. You shivered beneath his touch and he felt the tense slouch you gave. When he pulled back, he whispered in your ear, “You look beautiful.”

With bright red cheeks, you pulled in your chair and sat. Soon enough, Spencer was pouring you champagne, the waiter was collecting orders, and you were picking at a buttery roll. The team was exchanging conversation that you occasionally chimed in on. It was normal routine. You were surprised Penelope hadn’t thrown in the middle of a bowling alley or something along those lines. This was perfect.

The food came, finally, and the conversation slowed somewhat. Luke nudged you with his elbow and you looked up to meet his eyes.

“How’s your birthday going, princesa?” He bit off a piece of steak.

You swallowed, reaching for your champagne. “It’s really good, actually. I was worried Pen would go over the top. But this is good.”

“You’re not one for attention, I noticed,” he flicked his brows up.

You shook your head gently, “It makes me nervous.”

“Well, I apologize for toeing the line with my comments and stuff.”

“No, it’s...” your eyes flickered away from his, but came back, “it’s okay. I...like it.”

Luke grinned widely, eyes glinting, “Oh, really?”

You blushed and looked down, “Don’t push it, Alvez.”

Luke did push it, though, “Hey, it’s cute. You’re cute.”

You kicked him under the table and he went back to his food with a playful laugh.

Eventually, the food was finished. You handed your plate to the waiter before wiping off your hands and sighing. “Does anybody want dessert?”

The team glanced at you and then to Penelope. She shrugged, “No, I’m good.”

You tilted your head, “There’s somewhere else that we’re going, isn’t there?”

Penelope shrugged again, avoiding your eyes and caressing the mouth of her glass. “No, no there isn’t.”

“Okay, then you won’t mind if I just catch a cab home,” you stretched your arms above your head, yawning. “I’m awfully tired.”

Penelope shouted, “No! No, do not move. I will make Luke hold you down if I have to.”

“You always say so much, Pen, so much,” you bantered with a knowing smile.

She huffed, eyes rolling back, “And you always ruin it.”

Luke winked at you before nodding towards an approaching waiter. He held a giant cake in his hands, with lit sparklers and candles. The team broke out into song and you hid your face in your hands.

You felt warm hands on both of yours, pulling them from your space. Luke held your eyes on his, singing softly with the team. He managed to ground you, to make you feel more comfortable in this setting as the cake was put down in front of you. He tugged your hands back and forth in a little dance, drawing a grin to you face.

“Make a wish, princesa,” he pointed to the cake, holding onto one hand.

You shut your eyes, blowing hard and aiming for the candles. They went out, the sparkles fizzling to an end. Suddenly, your face went red hot and you squealed. Spencer took a big glob of frosting on his finger and smeared it all over your face.

You opened your eyes, squinting to avoid getting icing in your eyes. “Spence Reid! What the hell?!”

The team laughed, and you couldn’t help but join them. Luke’s fingers intertwined with yours, settling on your lap. He squeezed.

You took your own bit of frosting and reached across the table. Spencer tried to hide in Emily’s side, but she pushed him into your finger. He stuck his tongue out and licked a bit of frosting from his chin.

You tossed your head back, laughing the loudest you had ever. Emily called from her end of the table, “Well, now we know who our next unsub might be.”

Rossi replied, “And the victimology would be tall, skeletal, dorky men with unbrushed hair and the inability to shut up.”

“Oh, yes! Time to roast Spencer!” You closed your fist around a napkin, shaking it at the doctor. “Yes, yes, yes!”

You didn’t feel as insecure anymore- you finally felt comfortable. Luke’s hand stayed in yours as you began to wipe off your face.

JJ took her turn, “Hey, have some hope. Maybe she’ll only kidnap you.”

“How is that any better?” Spence exclaimed.

Penelope finished JJ’s thought, “Because you’ll bore her so much with your ‘actually’s’ that she’ll just drop you back off where she took you from.”

You wiped at the frosting on your house, probably just smearing it. Luke tapped your hand, holding his palm open. “Here, let me.”

You hesitantly handed him the napkin and he twisted a small section. He dipped it in a forgotten glass of water and using that part to wipe off the frosting.

“You know, I could just lick it off, like Reid, here,” Luke tapped your nose as he moved to the other side of your face.

You squeezed his hand, giggling, “In privacy.”

“Oh?” He retracted his hand, but you grabbed his wrist and pulled it back in place. “Oh, I see. I see. So I just have to get you alone.”

You swallowed, hard, a silence expanding between the two of you. His face fell slightly and he dropped his hand. You didn’t stop him.

“Are you being serious? Or is this just another banter of yours?” You muttered, hoping nobody was listening.

Luke sighed, pressing his elbow into the table and rubbing his forehead. His head hung low, but he looked up at you through his eyelashes. “You tell me.”

You squirmed under his gaze, redder than you’d ever been. Your mout hung agape and you tried to form a sentence. But, Penelope interrupted the moment. She came to your side with a butter knife and started cutting slices out of the cake for everyone.

“Here you go, my birthday queen!” Penelope set the first slice down in front of you.

You moved your hand and gaze from Luke, brandishing a fork. “Ah, I see I’ve moved up in ranks. It’s queen, now?”

“Red Queen could be your nickname, ya know, when the media flags you down for my murder,” Reid took a full plate from Penelope.

He cheekily smiled at you. “Oh, we’re still on this?”

He nodded, “We’re still on this.”

You and Spencer continued arguing about the possibility of his murder by your hand, the conversation soon turning into either of your opinions on the perfect way to actually murder someone. Sadly, the night was winding down.

But that didn’t mean Penelope didn’t have more plans. “Now, it is time for drinks and presents at Barb’s!”

The team pulled back on their coats, picking up the checks that were split and put on the table. You had just finished buttoning your jacket when you reached for your check that had been right next to your empty glass of champagne. You were surprised to see it missing. You felt around for it, but couldn’t seem to find it.

You caught up to the team, who were already paying. You grasped Penelope’s forearm and she grinned at you, “Yes, queen?”

You cracked a smile, though you were still confused. “Did you take my check?”

Penelope’s brows furrowed. “No. No I didn’t. Just see if you can get a new one.”

You sighed, then nodded. “Yeah, I guess that’ll work.”

You approached the register right after Penelope, the rest of the team lingering to the side to wait for you and Reid, who was behind you. “Hi, I was sitting with the rest of them and my check seems to have gone missing.”

“What did you order?” The hostess smiled kindly. You rattled off your order and she looked through the receipts.

“Oh, here it is,” she remarked, pulling it from the pile. “Uh, yes, it’s already been paid for.”

You leaned forward, attempting to see the receipt. She turned to towards you. “Who paid for it?” You asked.

She shrugged, “I can’t give out that information. Although, I could say that it’s your birthday, and you should just appreciate the kind effort.”

You thanked her and joined your friends. They were all in their own discussions, and the group began walking out when Spencer joined. You fell in stride beside Luke, accidentally.

You looked over at him and when he felt your stare, he returned your gaze. “What?” He let out a dry chuckle.

You cleared your throat, “Did you pay for my check?”

When he didn’t respond, you knew that he was answering your question.

“You didn’t have to do that,” your fingers felt from your pockets, noticing his were swinging between your hips. You let them find each other’s again.

Luke‘s stride ended, pulling you to a stop beside him. You turned your body to him as only the tips of your fingers touched. “What?”

Luke smiled at you, “You never told me.”

“Told you what?” You were far too nervous to give him the answer he craved to hear. One night of activities couldn’t calm your introverted behavior that much.

Luke groaned, tossing his head back. He pulled your hand into his all the way. “Come on, princesa. This is exhausting.”

You breathed steadily, trying to calm the hoards of butterflies flapping through your body. “I...I’m going to tell you that I want...”

You couldn’t word it properly, which was obvious, due to the wrinkled expression on your face. “I’m going to tell you that I want...god, Luke, help me out.”

Luke’s innocent little smile twisted into a cheeky smirk. His hand moved to your hip, pressing your stomach against his. He swept the hair behind your ear, caressing your cheek.

“What did you wish for, birthday girl?”

“You.”

#luke alvez #luke alvez x you #luke alvez x y/n #luke alvez x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x oc

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dawninlatin · 3 years

Text

Queen of Peace, chapter 13

A manorian high school AU

Words: 2563

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

Oh, the queen of peace

Always does her best to please

But is it any use?

Somebody’s gotta lose

-Florence + The Machine, Queen of Peace

The music roared out of the speakers, and Manon moved her body to the rhythm, letting herself get lost in the upbeat tones. She had done this a dozen times by now, memorized this choreography weeks ago.

But then she turned to the right, and it wasn’t Asterin dancing beside her - as it had always been - it was Sorrel.

It startled her enough that she halted and messed up a few steps. Manon caught up with the others, but she was unable to pour her heart into it like she usually did. Her mind was too busy thinking about Asterin, worrying whether she was okay or not after their grandmother had kicked her out.

Manon had seen her at school a few times in the following weeks, but they hadn’t talked, and she doubted they would. Asterin probably hated her now, after all the horrible things Manon had said to her.

Getting kicked out is the least you deserve after getting yourself knocked up by a boy who will leave at the first sign of some real responsibility. Don’t come crawling to me when you find yourself homeless and heartbroken. You’re off the dance team, by the way.

Manon hadn’t meant what she said, not really, but maybe this was for the better…

Her grandmother had made it very clear that she was not to talk with Asterin anymore, and Asterin avoiding her, hating her, made everything much easier.

Yet, if it made things easier, why did it also make her so sad? The house had been awfully quiet these weeks, so quiet it was near-stifling. Manon hadn’t realized how different, how empty, home would be without Asterin there.

Stop moping around you sad, pathetic fool!

Manon mentally scolded herself, forcing her attention back to the dancing. She couldn’t keep letting this distract her. Asterin was simply an obstacle who no longer stood in the way of her future.

Finishing the rest of the choreography, she ignored the desperate, disappointed voice inside her head that whispered; you’re beginning to sound like her.

When the music faded into nothing and her body stopped moving, Manon put on her usual mask of cold, calculating boredom and turned towards her team. She immediately knew something was up, as they were all looking at her as if they had something to say, but didn’t dare say it.

«What,» Manon said, more an order than a question. If they had all decided to gang up against her, she only wanted to get it over with.

The girls exchanged wary glances, before Sorrel took a step forward and said, «We need Asterin on this choreo.» Manon was surprised when Vesta, who leaned against the wall with her arms crossed, stayed silent for once.

With a sigh, Manon answered Sorrel, «And why the hell do we need Asterin?»

Yet again did they all look at each other, as if this was something they’d discussed behind her back. The icy feeling of betrayal snaked its way up Manon’s spine.

«Because it’s always been the thirteen of us. We’re off-balance without Asterin.» It was Ghislaine who spoke this time.

«You’ve said it yourself,» Briar shot in from the back of the room. «If just one of us is missing, the entire team falls apart!»

It was when Vesta finally opened her mouth that she snapped. «And you slipped up today, Manon. Several times!»

«I have no idea what you’re talking about,» Manon hissed, clenching her fists so hard it hurt. «You have been distracted today, hell, you’ve been distracted, lazy and off-beat all week!»

«Because Asterin-» Vesta begun, but Manon didn’t let her finish.

«I don’t wanna hear another word about Asterin! It was her own stupidity that got her kicked off the team, and if you, all of you, don’t start working a bit harder, I won’t hesitate to replace you with someone else!»

The room was unbearably quiet when she was done talking, and Manon could hear her own heart thundering inside her chest. She had to stay calm, couldn’t let them see her fall apart, even if that was what she felt like doing right now. She was losing control, she was-

«I can talk to Asterin today if-»

«GET OUT!»

Manon’s blood was boiling at the audacity of Vesta. Why couldn’t they understand that Asterin, with her carelessness, was jeopardizing everything they had worked towards?

Her grandmother had been clear in her orders: everything had to be perfect, so they had to win nationals, which they couldn’t do when one of the teammates first of all didn’t bother showing up to half of the rehearsals, and second of all, would be heavily pregnant come spring.

When everyone had left, and Manon was alone once more, she didn’t let herself brood over the fight they’d just had, didn’t let herself recognize how awful this made her feel. She simply turned the music back on, and forgot.

She forgot everything she’d promised her grandmother, forgot the math test she’d butchered earlier today, forgot the fact that her whole dance team had probably just quit, forgot that she had no control over anything in her life anymore.

Yet as she kept moving her exhausted body, one thought remained. One of piercing blue eyes and soft lips.

And when she remembered that she had an actual date with him the next day, Manon smiled, despite everything.

«Why are you looking at me like that?»

How am I supposed to not look at you? Dorian wondered. Manon was radiant where she sat with her body leaned back, eyes closed, face tipped towards the sky. She was smiling softly, the autumn sun making her white-blonde hair glow.

Instead of telling her that, Dorian went with: «I’m just wondering what you’re thinking. You went quiet all of a sudden.»

She had. They’d been sitting here for hours now, under the huge oak tree in the park, eating and laughing and talking, but now she was silent, a calm, contemplating aura around her.

Manon hummed in answer, before opening her eyes and twisting towards him. «I’m just…savoring the moment, I guess.» Her mouth quirked to the side, the movement making her nose scrunch, and Dorian had to let out a chuckle.

«Now who’s the cliché?»

She’d been playfully mocking him for his picnic this whole time, even asking him if he was aware that they weren’t in every high school movie ever made. Dorian had begged to differ, telling her that the only reason it was a cliché, was because it worked.

And it did. After a while, Manon had reluctantly agreed that yes, maybe it was a little romantic. The admission had been accompanied by an eye-roll, of course, but what else could you expect?

«What time is it?» Manon asked after a moment.

Dorian scrambled for his phone, finding it half-lodged under the picnic basket. «It’s almost 3pm,» he said, marveling over how much time had passed. He could spend all day like this, just talking about all and nothing with Manon. No matter what they discussed, she surprised him with her answers, whether it be a funny joke or an unusually deep thought, offering a new perspective on things.

«I should head home soon,» she sighed, but Manon made no sign of getting up. Instead she laid down, Dorian joining her. «My grandmother will start to ask questions if I’m late.»

From what he’d gathered, Manon’s grandmother was very strict, especially when it came to boys, and Manon had told her she was studying at the library today. She rarely talked about her family, and whenever they touched on the subject, she quickly started talking about something else. Dorian knew not to ask questions, though. She would open up when and if she was ready, and those moments often came at the most unexpected times.

«I had a lot of fun today, you know. Even if I still think you just googled date ideas and went with the first hit.» Dorian laughed at that, his stomach filling with what could only be described as butterflies.

«Does that mean you would want to do it again?» They were lying on their backs, face to face, and all Dorian could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss her.

It had been weeks since their kiss in the library, but they hadn’t been able to do it again. All they’d gotten was stolen moments in between classes and late-night texts, their busy schedules making sure of that. Until now, that was.

«I would love to,» Manon offered, answering his question. «But next time I decide what we’re doing.»

«Deal,» Dorian grinned, his eyes staying fixed on her lips as she spoke.

Moments passed, the tension between them tangible, and then Manon whispered, «Is it weird that I really wanna kiss you right now?»

That was all it took for Dorian to crash his lips into hers.

The kiss was exploring at first, her lips so soft and so perfect. He’d thought about their moment in the library constantly in the past weeks, but his memory could never do it justice, he knew now. This was the real thing, the real Manon, and she was bewitching. No other word could describe the experience that was kissing her.

Dorian pulled her closer, and Manon placed her hands in his hair. He had to continuously remind himself that they were outside, in the middle of a park, and anyone could walk by at any moment.

Yet he couldn’t stop either. Their mouths had gone from searching to ravenous, both of them trying to get closer to the other. Manon nudged him with her tongue, and he opened up for her, the taste of her exquisite.

His blood heated, skin becoming incredibly tight all of a sudden. He could keep doing this forever.

But they had to pull apart at some point to simply just breathe. And they did.

Manon let her forehead rest against his as they both panted slightly, Dorian reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. «I really should go now,» she murmured against his lips, leaning in to kiss him once more.

It was Dorian who pulled away this time, stroking her cheek. «I’ll see you later then.»

«Yeah,» she sighed, standing up in one smooth movement. The air around Dorian suddenly became unbearably cold.

After Manon had picked up her jacket, ready to leave, she halted for a moment, and said, «I meant it when I said today was fun.»

Then she leaned down to place a swift kiss on his cheek, stood back up and walked away, leaving him alone, all flustered.

Dorian had to wait a moment before he could get up himself, because his pants had just become very tight. His face was burning at the fact, but he forced himself to think of dead puppies and his parents fighting and his gym teacher in those tiny shorts he insisted on wearing.

That last image was particularly horrifying, but it seemed to do the trick. Then, Dorian picked up his phone, only to find fifty new messages from Aelin in their group chat.

Sighing, he began to skim through the thread.

Aelin: Do you guys have plans for today?

Aelin: Rowan is busy

Aelin: And I’m bored

Aelin: Hellooooo

Chaol: I’m guessing I have plans now…

Aelin: I can actually hear how hard you’re sighing right now Chaol

Aelin: We’re seeing a movie today

Chaol: When?

Then there was a lot of planning back and forth, and both Chaol and Aelin trying to reach Dorian. The last message he got was a selfie of his best friends glaring at him, the text reading: Come hang out with us loser.

So Dorian stood, feeling lighter than ever, and began calling Aelin to hear where they were.

Stepping into the narrow hallway of her home, Manon carefully closed the door behind her, trying to stay as quiet as possible in case her grandmother was working.

She hung her coat on the rack and turned her phone on silent. She rarely got any notifications, but that was before Dorian. Now they sent messages back and forth at all hours, most of it silly nonsense.

«Manon, is that you?» her grandmother called from the kitchen. Letting out a shaky breath, Manon made her facial expression that of someone who had studied in a library for hours and definitely hadn’t just made out with a hot boy.

Listen to yourself, you sound like some lovesick girl from those movies you hate so much, Manon mentally yelled, rolling her eyes at how annoying her internal monologue was becoming.

«Yeah, I’m back.» She stopped by the doorway to the kitchen on the way to her room, where her grandmother was sitting by the table, laptop open in front of her.

The woman glanced up at the clock on the wall, before looking back at Manon, her eyes searching. «You stayed at the library for a long time.»

Manon had to fight to stay fully still, to not flinch at her grandmothers words. She couldn’t know, could she? Putting on a fake smile, Manon said, «I just got into a really good workflow, didn’t wanna quit.»

Her breaths were getting faster, and she could feel the panic sneaking up on her.

Just keep it together until you’re alone! She always asks questions like these.

«I’m almost done with the history assignment,» she added to make sure her grandmother bought it. Even if it was all a lie. She hadn’t even started on the history paper.

«Good. I already made dinner, but there are some leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry.» Her grandmother’s tone was pleasant, almost happy. She had to be in a good mood today, then. The whole thing felt deeply unsettling.

At least she was safe, for now.

«Thanks, but I’m not hungry. I’ll be in my room,» Manon said before turning and hurrying down the hall. Once she’d closed the door, she finally let out the breath of relief she’d benne holding, throwing away all pretense.

She couldn’t keep lying to her grandmother like this…

Not only did it make her feel awful, but the consequences would also be too great. She was putting her whole future at risk when she was acting like this, sneaking around and prioritizing boys over her schoolwork.

Frustrated, she threw herself down on her bed, startling Abraxos who was sleeping on her pillow. Dorian made everything so much more complicated. Agreeing to go out with him had been a mistake. A huge, huge mistake.

Yet she’d felt better today, happier, than she’d had in a long time. She’d even managed to forget the catastrophe that was her dance team, if only for a few hours. And with this light, fluttery feeling, everything seemed more manageable.

For now, she could do this, wanted to do this. The thought of not being with Dorian anymore… It didn’t feel right, and she was actually looking forward to Monday, when she would see him again.

She knew this, they, would have to end one way or another, but she couldn’t let go just yet.

A/N: That break really got longer than I anticipated...

It's been nearly a year now, since I first got the idea for this fic and started writing it, and here I was, believing I could be done with it by summer 2020. In all honesty, it feels like I posted chapter 12, blinked, and then 4 months had passed. But here it is, at least:) We have reached the halfway point, and a little progress is better than none. I'm still not making any promises regarding this fic, other than I will finish it, someday, whether that be in 2 months or 2 years. And to all of you who still read, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU SO MUCH<3<3 I could not have done it without you!

All the love, Aurora<3

Taglist: @fireheartdreamerstarborn @bookishwitchling @hellasblessed @kit-12 @onfma @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sayosdreams @rowaelinismyotp

I keep a separate taglist for each ship, so let me know if you want to be on any of them!

#dawninlatin QoP #manorian #manorian fic #manorian fanfiction #manorian au #manon x dorian #dorian x manon #manon blackbeak #dorian havilliard #sjm #sarah j maas #throne of glass #tog #throne of glass au

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laurfilijames · 3 years

Text

Wild Horses- Part 2 (Prequel to Slow Burn)

Pairing: Modern AU Fili x Female OC Prim

Words: 3682

Summary: Fili and Prim enjoy a night out with Kili and Tauriel playing pool and singing karaoke. Prim attempts to make Fili see how much she’s grown to care for and want him since they met a year ago, but something is holding Fili back.

Warnings: Rated M. Alcohol consumption, swearing. Mentions of intercourse. Discussions of masturbation. Unwanted advances. A punch and bloody nose/hand. Mentions of war/military/deployment. Slight dom/sub suggestion.

A/N: This was so enjoyable to write, I had so much fun building the dynamic between them and adding to that slow burn. But be warned, angst is ahead in the coming chapters!

The song that Prim sings is linked below if anyone wants to listen to really get a feel for the chapter. (The original song is by the Divinyls but I like this cover better).

Thank you again to @guardianofrivendell for editing, listening to my struggles and always giving wonderful advice and endless support!

—————

“It’s your round this time!” Prim whined.

“No, no, I got the last one remember? It’s definitely your round,” Fíli argued.

She did remember, she was just hoping he wouldn’t.

“Fine. I’ll make you a bet, whoever loses this game has to get the drinks,” Prim wagered.

“Deal!” Fíli moved around the pool table to line up his next shot. Before he did, he looked up at Prim and smirked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “But the loser also has to go up there and sing a song.”

“You bastard! You’re only betting that much because you know I’ll lose and you won’t have to sing.”

He grinned at her, amused at upping the stakes.

“Exactly,” he said, sinking his shot as he did.

Prim was awful at pool, leaving her questioning exactly why she would make a bet with him, knowing it would result in her buying the drinks and now apparently also singing a song in front of the entire bar.

She focused as she lined up her shot, praying she was successful in landing the ball in the intended pocket but faltered when she felt Fíli’s body cover hers from behind just as she attempted her hit, missing her shot completely and losing the game.

“See, you should’ve aimed more over there-,” Fíli teased, laughing as she whipped around and smacked him hard on the chest.

“I would’ve got that in if it wasn’t for you!”

He looked at her doubtfully, and although she was pissed at him for making her lose the game, she enjoyed the proximity of his body to hers. His hand remained on her waist in an almost claiming way, probably making them look like lovers to people who didn’t know them.

Prim reluctantly stepped out of his grasp and gave him the most devilish look she could as she walked over to the stage where the karaoke machine was set up. There were large speakers surrounding it and a single microphone standing in the middle, waiting for its next performer.

Prim couldn’t help but grin despite the embarrassment she felt, watching Fíli clap and hoot loudly at her as he leaned against the pool table, Kili and Tauriel following suit from the table where they sat.

She knew exactly which song she was going to sing, something that would hopefully turn Fíli on while also letting him know how she felt about him.

After spending so much time getting to know each other over the last year, Prim knew without a doubt that he was the only one she could ever want. Their relationship so far was effortless, friends who could make each other laugh and were able to share anything with each other, the good and the bad, all traced with whispers of an eagerness for more.

She adored his family and they welcomed her without hesitation as a part of their own. Prim especially admired the relationship between the two brothers, as well as the one they shared with Thorin.

It made her wish she could say the same about her own family, but this found family was all she needed.

And Fíli… Fíli was incredible. He still treated her as sweetly and with as much care as he had the day they met.

He evened her out. His calm manner balanced her fiery ways. Nobody else’s personality had ever complimented hers more and he made her feel instantly happy just by being in the same room.

So it didn’t come as a surprise to Prim when the inevitable happened: she fell in love with him.

But it was almost as if an unsaid agreement to take things slow stood between them, both of them knowing at some point they would be more than just friends, but Prim was growing increasingly impatient. She had often tried to hint that she wanted more, that she was ready to take it to the next level, but Fíli wasn’t budging. Maybe Prim wasn’t as conspicuous as she thought she was.

It was about time she started to make things a little more clear for him.

The music started up after she selected the song and she readied herself before the mic, willing courage from her three glasses of wine to grace her.

“I love myself

I want you to love me,”

The crowd erupted in cheers, realizing what she had selected.

“When I feel down

I want you above me

I search myself

I want you to find me

I forget myself

I want you to remind me,”

The look on Fíli’s face was priceless, full of surprise and curiosity and maybe even a hint of lust as he pushed his tongue in his bottom lip, so Prim continued, her eyes locked on his as she began to run her hands down her sides and over her breasts,

“I don’t want anybody else

When I think about you

I touch myself

Oh, I don’t want anybody else

Oh no, oh no, oh no,”

Encouragement from the crowd kept her going, but not as much as the expression on Fíli’s face did. Prim continued her seductive dance as she sang, carding her hands through her hair and down her neck to her chest, still managing to sing despite the huge grin on her face,

“I close my eyes

And see you before me

Think I would die

If you were to ignore me

A fool could see

Just how much I adore you

I’d get down on my knees

I’d do anything for you,”

When the song ended, Prim bowed to the standing ovation given to her by the entire bar. She hopped off the stage and walked back over to Fíli who was shaking his head in disbelief.

“Wow,” was all he managed to say, his eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

“I don’t think after that performance I should still shout the drinks,” she suggested.

“Um, no, that wasn’t the deal,” he corrected her, standing close enough she could see his pulse thumping in his neck. He stared at her like he was trying to figure out what she was up to, and also like he could kiss her. His eyes lingered on her lips as though he was about to consume them and Prim thought how she would sell her soul to have him do it.

Did he still not know how badly she wanted him?

With the adrenaline from her performance still coursing through her body, Prim was about to confess her feelings to Fíli. She wanted to tell him that the song was indeed dedicated to him, and that the lyrics applied to her when she thought about him, but was interrupted by Kili and Tauriel coming over to congratulate her.

“Prim you never cease to amaze me!” Kili said, gripping his hands on her shoulders from behind.

“I think you have every man in here worked up!” Tauriel added.

As appreciative as she was for their compliments, the only opinion she really cared about was Fíli’s.

“Yeah, you are incredible,” Fíli praised her, still regarding her peculiarly.

Her stomach flipped. He thought she was incredible, not just her karaoke skills.

“Oh, I had some inspiration,” Prim admitted, staring into Fíli’s eyes and willing him to figure out just how much she longed for him, but not able to say it with Kili and Tauriel standing beside them.

“Well, the drinks are on me!” she declared, walking over to the bar to complete her end of the bargain. Kili followed her, wanting to order food, or so he said. Kili had a tendency to get involved in things that weren’t necessarily his business, and whatever was happening between Fíli and Prim was no exception.

“I can’t help but feel like there were some underlying messages in your performance,” he inquired without looking at her.

“It was just a song, Kili,” she denied.

“Yeah, one about masturbating to thoughts of my brother!”

She looked at him fiercely. Was it so obvious to everyone but Fíli?

“See, you can’t even deny it!” he laughed.

“I’m not trying to deny anything,” she told him while peeling the label off of an empty beer bottle, beginning to get annoyed by his interrogation.

“Well, I bet he thinks of you whenever he touches himself,” Kili said point-blank, popping a chip in his mouth.

“Kili!” Prim said with alarm, smacking his shoulder. Although part of her did hope it was true.

Once Kili stopped laughing, Prim sighed and continued her thoughts out loud.

“It’s just so frustrating! I feel like I do everything but literally throw myself at him and nothing happens.” She placed money on the bar as the bartender handed her their drinks, “I just really care about him,” she admitted.

“I know you do. He knows you do- knows you love him even. He’s going to kill me for telling you but he does feel the same, he told me himself,” Kili explained.

Prim shot her head up to look at him, “You better not be joking right now, Kili,” being fully aware of the pranks he was capable of.

“I’m not, I swear!” he raised his hands in defence, and threw a quick look over his shoulder towards his brother before he continued, “He fancies you, he always has. That’s why he’s still single, and you are too, I reckon. You’re both just too stupid to do anything about it,”

“Oh, thanks for that,” Prim glared at him and took a chip from his plate, making Kili slide it closer to him protectively so she couldn’t steal any more of them.

“I’m not saying you’re stupid, Prim, but one of you needs to admit it or someone else is going to come along and ruin it. You see how women look at him,” he pointed out, and Prim’s heart sank at the thought.

Of course she saw how other women looked at him, and she couldn’t blame them. He was perfect.

Prim didn’t want anyone else and she hoped what Kili had said about Fíli’s feelings towards her were true. She grabbed the drinks and walked back to the table, her head reeling from the information.

Fíli beamed at her as she approached, his dimples revealing themselves beneath his facial hair, making her melt for him once again and forget the threat of anyone coming between them.

Fíli could hardly believe the act he’d just witnessed. He had run his hand over his face a few times to try and disguise his flush, beads of sweat appearing on his temples as he watched Prim’s risqué dance on stage, making him throb for her all over again.

He wondered if she truly felt what she’d sung in those lyrics, that she wanted him and only him, that she imagined him when she pleasured herself.

The thought alone drove him mad.

Her eyes had been locked on him the entire time she was up there, there was no disputing that.

Fíli enjoyed making her feel as frenzied and desperate as she made him, but it was getting increasingly difficult to keep resisting her. She knew how to play him as well.

And even though he really didn’t want to resist her anymore and simply give in to the yearning want, he knew he couldn’t. He shouldn’t.

Thorin and Kili were leading a special ops mission and although Fíli as a trainer was now exempt from having to deploy, he refused to sit at home while his uncle and brother went head first into danger.

He was going too.

Fíli had been deployed countless times since he was in his early twenties. He had seen battle and horrific things that people could never even begin to fathom. The thought of going to war again filled him with dread, but he needed to protect his family.

If he pursued things with Prim, he wouldn’t be able to stand being with her for such a short period of time and making her anxiously wait for him to get back. It would break both of them. It wouldn’t be fair to her, so they would just have to wait until this mission was over before they could give each other everything of themselves.

He watched her now as she leaned against the bar, talking and laughing with Tauriel, finding himself automatically mimicking every upturn of her mouth.

But her expression quickly changed when a man came up to her who was obviously a fan and hoping her words were directed at him. Prim politely shrugged him off, turning back to face Tauriel.

Fíli remained in his chair, carefully watching the interaction. He wouldn’t step in unless he needed to, and he prayed the idiot wouldn’t do anything stupid.

“That song was about me, wasn’t it doll,” the man slurred, stepping closer to her.

Prim laughed and said over her shoulder, “Don’t you wish,” and Fíli could tell the man was starting to get on her nerves.

It was difficult for Fíli to hear all that was being said, but the man seemed persistent in getting her attention. Prim said the odd thing to get him to leave her alone but tried her best to remain focused on Tauriel and ignore the pleas from the drunk.

Kili sat beside him and could see the fury rising up through his body. He patted Fíli on the back, “Easy brother,” he said, trying to assure him that she would be fine, knowing what damage Fíli could do to the other man if provoked.

It wasn’t until the man grabbed her ass and she flew around to punch him that Fíli stood from where he was seated and quickly made his way over. He knew Prim could hold her own, and judging by the way the guy was holding his bloody nose, she had done the job. Regardless, he needed to give this asshole a piece of his mind.

Fíli took hold of the man’s collar and held him upright after being folded over from Prim’s punch, his feet now barely touching the ground.

“Touch her or go near her again and you’ll regret ever laying eyes on her, mate,” Fíli spat in his face, his rage ready to erupt at any second.

The man nodded in a terrified manner, and scrambled away as soon as Fíli released him from his grip.

Fíli brushed his hair back out of his face and turned to Prim, who was shaking her hand out and looking slightly unsettled.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his anger now turned to worry, never wanting any harm to come to her.

“Yes, I’m fine. He’s just a prick.” She didn’t meet his eyes, her gaze cast down to observe the damage to her hand. Her knuckles were red and split from colliding with the man’s face and blood was beginning to creep up slowly.

Fíli took her hand in his and brushed his thumb lightly over her wounds before bringing his lips to kiss them gently.

The way she looked at him made his heart clench, almost like she was surprised at his affection towards her. He wanted to tell her he would do anything for her, would give her the world, and that it made him feel terrible that he allowed that guy to touch her like he did. But he couldn’t.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve stepped in sooner,” his voice full of regret at how he handled the situation.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Fi, you’re my hero,” she said with a mischievous look in her eye, her fire back and immediately replacing his anger and regret with desire for her.

“I can usually handle my own, but I don’t mind you protecting me,” she said playfully.

Her eyes were filled with lust as she looked up at him through her eyelashes, and he was reminded once again of what he wanted to do to her.

Before he acted on pressing his lips against hers, Fíli called to the bartender for some ice for her hand, as well as a shot of whisky for them both.

They all managed to enjoy the rest of the night, no one harassing Prim other than with lustful glances from multiple men, but she didn’t seem to notice. She was having too much fun and a good buzz was keeping the pain in her hand at bay.

She stuck close to Fíli, often touching him playfully on his arm or chest, and even occasionally on his thigh. Her hand landed there now, causing him to stop talking mid-sentence to look at her delicate fingers resting on his jeans.

Fuck, she was going to be the death of him.

His jaw hurt from clenching his teeth so much, a habit to keep his increasing thirst for her at bay.

The bar announced the last call, and they all were quite drunk aside from Fíli. He typically managed to stay sober whenever they went out, wanting to ensure they all got home safely and didn’t have to pay and wait for cabs to take them all to different places.

With Kili and Tauriel dropped off at Tauriel’s place, Fíli was now on his way to take Prim to her own apartment. She was definitely drunk, but not sloppy, in more of her usual flirtatious state that had tried to lure him into her bed on more than one occasion. Tonight was no exception.

She laughed as she fumbled with her keys in the door, dropping them onto the mat. Fíli stooped to pick them up and when he straightened himself Prim was leaning playfully against her door frame.

“You want me and it’s killing you,” she boldly stated, revealing a part of him that he wasn’t ready to divulge to her yet.

He shook his head and chuckled while he unlocked the door, not wanting to have this conversation with her now.

She waltzed in ahead of him, her body language full of confidence from the drinks she had consumed.

“Do you want a nightcap?” Prim asked, trying her best to get him to stay.

“No, thanks. I’m going to head out so you can get some sleep.” He had to fight to get the words out, wanting so badly to stay.

Prim squinted her eyes at him, annoyed at being rejected.

“Are you ever going to give me what I want, Fíli?” she asked, her voice laced with bitterness.

He couldn’t help but grin, desperately wanting to tell her just how badly he wanted her. How he wanted the same things as her. How easy it would be for him to roughly pull her pants down and slide into her, fucking her until she screamed his name over and over.

Especially when she acted like this.

He took a step toward her so he was hovering slightly above her body, and he saw the fearlessness in her eyes change to a softness, like she would submit to him in a second if given the chance.

“The problem is, Prim,” he muttered, his eyes narrowing as he stared into her, “If I kiss you now, I won’t be able to stop.”

She faltered for only a moment before lifting her chin up in an act to reinstate her poise.

“Then don’t stop,” she challenged him.

It took every fibre in his being to pull away from her, not wanting to do anything while she was under the influence of alcohol.

“No,” he shook his head and laughed when she threw her head back and growled in frustration.

“Why?” she snapped, her distaste at being rejected clear.

He never wanted to make her feel this way. She had to know she was his greatest desire, his biggest temptation.

Fíli remained in place, not daring to go close to her again.

“Because I want you to be fully aware when I do the things that I have planned for you.”

He watched her shift, his words sinking in and probably helping to sober her up. It was a promise of things to come. A hint at his intentions to explore her body.

“Are you good?” Fíli asked in a normal tone, needing to change the subject and wanting to make sure she was okay before he left.

“I’ll be good when you’re putting your hands all over me,” she countered, her voice raspy and still persistent in trying to get her way with him.

He chuckled at her determination, making his way to the door despite her wishes. She was relentless.

“Goodnight, Prim,” he called over his shoulder, not able to look at her knowing if he did she would draw him back inside.

He sat in his truck for a moment before driving away, his thoughts solely on how much he wished to tell her he wanted to be with her.

Fíli toyed with the idea of establishing the relationship with Prim anyway, being selfish for once in his life and indulging in her for whatever amount of time he could before he left, but quickly decided against it.

He loved Prim. And he only wanted to love her in the way she deserved, and loving her and then leaving her was not it.

He smiled at how easy it was for her to tempt him into almost doing things that were so out of his character. But once he was back home he would give in to anything and everything she offered, because fuck did he want to.

Fíli knew without a doubt that they would end up together someday, so what was waiting a couple of more months in the grand scheme of things? As far as he was concerned they had all the time in the world.

But right now all Fíli could think about was how Prim was probably getting into bed and fantasizing about him while she extinguished her fire, her hands exploring her own body in search of a high that one day would include him. He palmed at the growing tension in his pants, knowing that he was going home to do exactly the same.

—————

#fili imagine #fili durin #fili the hobbit #fili #fili x oc #wild horses #series #slow burn #fili fanfic #fili smut #smut #oc #modern fili #modern au

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angelharness · 4 years

Text

Various Slashers as Yandere Archetypes

WARNINGS: yandere content

Another non-requested piece. I actually found myself terribly interested in the concept after my last post musing on the topic (found here), though I’d like to restate that I don’t believe I’ll be writing more on the matter, unless a commission.

Will firmly reiterate last time’s warning, it’s very important to recognize this characterization as unhealthy and to never enable such behavior in any real relationships.

Will be sorting each slasher into seven classes, including Isolating, Manipulative, Dependent, Possessive, Obsessive, Delusional, and Lucid

The definitions vary greatly depending on the Slasher, while some may not fit an archetype listed, or could be a hybrid of any number of them. It’s also very possible for them to fit multiple subcategories.

For reference, a general key would be

Isolating - (Usually gradually) cuts off s/o from their friends and family, secluding them and asserting themselves as their only social contact. Goal is perhaps to make s/o reliant on them.

Manipulative - Fairly straightforward, though the means of manipulation vary. Often emotionally controlling. Might resort to guilting the s/o or self-destructive tendencies to get them to stay. Goal is to assert control over s/o.

Dependent - Depends on s/o for stability or comfort. Might suffer from separation anxiety and as such is terribly clingy. Often ignores other social ties to focus on their s/o. No implicit goal, but usually wishes for reciprocation of feelings.

Possessive - Similar to Manipulative and often a package deal. Would under no circumstances share their s/o, likely frets over losing them (perhaps to romantic rivals or even misguidedly anyone they falsely deem a threat). Goal is to assert control over s/o.

Obsessive - Not necessarily Possessive, though the two sometimes come together. An Obsessive might not outwardly act on their fixation, but silently pines intensely for their s/o. Fixates heavily on their s/o. Goal is to become closer to the person of interest, or wishes for reciprocation of feelings.

Delusional - Hard opposite of Lucid. They likely wrongly believe their feelings are reciprocated, believe them and their s/o are meant to be, or that their s/o is in denial of their feelings and it’s up to them to help them realize this. No implicit goal, but usually wishes for reciprocation of feelings.

Lucid - Hard opposite of Delusional. Well aware that their feelings are unhealthy and destructive, but usually represses these thoughts or simply doesn’t care. Might feel guilt, but it’s often overshadowed by longing. May have any of the formerly listed goals.

BILLY LENZ

Dependent, Possessive

He is a complex case. His lucidity comes in brief episodes, then wanes to stubborn delusion. Generally, though, he’s dependent on you for a sense of stability. When you leave, he throws somewhat of a tantrum, absolutely trashes the place, tears the wallpaper, knocks shit over, then curls up in a corner, stewing in a vicious, wordless rage. On the rare occasions, afflicted by guilt, he’ll silently clean it up, intensely avoiding your gaze all the while. Most of the time, though, you’re left to deal with the damage of his uncertain temper. He feels like you’re abandoning him, even if you fully have the intent to return; when you do come through the door he launches into your arms, all rushed kisses and crushing hugs. Inevitably, though, the cycle will repeat once more, gradually wearing you thin and thinner. Like a sweater heavily loved. But this love is intense and merciless.

CARRIE WHITE

Dependent, Delusional

Carrie is very much wary coming into this relationship. She’s so baffled by affection, true and honest affection, no underlying teasing, no stifled giggles, that she nearly breaks down. It takes much adjusting, but soon, she’s hooked. She becomes dependent on your praise and approval to function routinely. Anything you dislike she does as well. You’re always so right, she thinks, so puzzlingly perfect. She idolizes you to the point she blocks out any of your flaws (which come with being human), entirely eliminating the possibility from her mind. She’s willing to overlook any fault, anyway, but she’s dazed by the spectacle of genuine love. Every moment you’re away is a unique, awful pain, singed with worry (you’re leaving, you found someone better), and though in those moments she thinks there’s no possible greater agony, the bliss of your presence keeps her around. She doesn’t care for anyone else—they never cared for her, and it’s not like their compassion would compare, either way. She decides you’re all she needs.

JASON VOORHEES

Obsessive, Isolating

First confronting his feelings, he disregards it casually, assuming it’d be easy to ignore. He busies himself with work, but finds this fixation occupying his thoughts in increasingly frequent intervals. He knows something needs to be done when it starts directly interfering with his chores, leading to sloppy work and far too many victims fleeing. The easy answer is to off you. He hunts you down with that intent, well ready to finally rid of this distraction. But he can’t. Stands there with a hellish anxiety wracking his chest, a feeling only distantly familiar, recalling the days when his heart did beat. He’s so intensely, frustratingly obsessed with you—it upsets him even, confuses him tremendously. All he knows for certain is that he wouldn’t be able to stand you with someone else; doesn’t care if he’s not that someone, as long as it’s not anybody else. From then on, it’s a very last minute change of plans; keep you alive, isolate you, make you dependent on him. He’s not the type to force affection on you, but rather, would purposefully withdraw it for extended periods of time, until you seek it of your own will, in which case he will reward you with the desired attention.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

Possessive, Manipulative

Like Billy, has a fragile temper that can be quite a minefield to traverse. You can never be sure what will upset him, but when it does he makes sure it’s known. Could additionally be classified as isolating, as he will immediately confine you to the manor. Leaving is far out of the question, though later on he might permit you to extend this bit of freedom to the expanse of garden surrounding the mansion (he will, however, keep you far from the gates). He makes himself out to be entirely helpless without your guidance and care, though that must be wrong, being how he’s had only himself for much of his time living in the space between the walls. It gets you to stay, and that’s what matters in the moment. But eventually, the need to escape his suffocating presence vastly exceeds your will to stay. When that time comes, an effectively inevitable outcome, Brahms had realized in the back of his head, he’ll turn to violence, first in tantrums then in threats directed to both yourself and him. Isn’t beyond killing you if he’s convinced you’re set on leaving and there’s nothing he can do.

BUBBA SAWYER

Dependent, Possessive

Partly delusional, but knows you’re unwilling. Still, relies on you for a feeling of normalcy, that distant echo of a real, functional relationship. Couldn’t bear the thought of you with anyone else, so much he might resort to threats of violence to coerce you into staying. Whether these are empty or significant falls on you to figure out. Liable to tantrums when you’re away, though the severity of these outbursts is determined by his current stability. He considers you part of the family, though at the end of the day, Drayton gets the final say on your status of life. He’ll plead desperately and with genuine distress, but it doesn’t take much pushing for him to cave in on himself; he’s far more scared to disobey the family. If he’s to kill you, he’ll go about it sweetly, clumsy, unfamiliar kisses as he smooths your hair down, trying uselessly to calm you. Your struggling and crying only troubles him, and he might hurry up the process just to quiet that awful commotion. If Drayton allowed, though, he’d keep you as a sort of pet; you’re to stay in his room or at his side and never stray. You’re given a seat at the dinner table as long as you pull your weight and pitch in (albeit unwillingly) with household chores.

AMANDA YOUNG / THE PIG

Lucid, Manipulative

Fairly coherent regarding her emotions, though this regulation never translates into her actions, which are twisted by impulse and anxieties. Unintentionally incredibly manipulative, will very quickly turn to self-destructive exploits to gain your sympathy and convince you to stay. Eventually, she stops caring if you’re only sticking around out of a feeling of necessity. If you ever show intent to leave, though, she’d panic. Amanda can’t conceive a life without you now that she’s met you, and though she despises how dependent she’s become on you for stability, she can’t will herself to try and improve. Your attention is a new, frightening addiction; the highs come with affection and compassion, but then withdrawal in the periods you’re away. These acts of love have to be greater and greater than the last to recreate that same rush of intoxication. She’d allow you the illusion of freedom, reminding you often you can leave if you wanted (it’s all a ploy for sympathy), but makes a show of how pathetic she is without you. She can barely function, and though she hates this vulnerability, her balance of mind being dependent on another person, she’s trapped herself in an unforgiving sequence of self-destructive desperation and a murderous temper.

#x reader #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #slasher x s/o #slasher x you #slasher imagines #reader insert #brahsm heelshire x reader #amanda young x reader #jason voorhees x reader #billy lenz x reader #carrie white x reader #bubba sawyer x reader #leatherface x reader #cw yandere #💾:harpy writez

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zmediaoutlet · 3 years

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Can you tell me why you think Walker is a good show afterall? It’s been driving me insane because I usually trust your opinion on things, but I watched the first episode and thought it was unbelievably bad

Does it get better as the show progresses? Is that why you like it?

Oh, the first episode is very bad! Like, trust. Both episodes one and two, actually, and bleeding into three. Shitty network pilot as-you-know stuff. But I mean, assuming that you've watched more than one show in your life -- don't you expect that? Pilots tend to be risibly awful, that's just... a law of the universe. It's remarkable when a pilot doesn’t suck sweaty shorts.

This is why I have a three episode rule with new shows. They have to figure out what the fuck they’re doing before they can actually show you who they are. (You can go back and watch the first few once you’ve already engaged and find some diamonds to pick out of the sludge--this I would say is the case for Walker.) If they still suck as of ep4 then I’ll drop them, but they should get a chance. Obviously no one else has to follow this rule, but if you judged every show based on its pilot then you wouldn’t have very many shows to watch at all.

What’s interesting to me about Walker: - literally just the fact that it’s filmed in Texas. It is such a goddamn relief to see a bur oak in the background instead of yet more fucking Vancouver. - that the main teen characters are relatively engaging and can actually act. Granted it’s really rough with Stella in the first two episodes but she gets better. Like, talking with my buds, we’re all reeling that the scenes we find most compelling are the ones where Walker deals with his teenage children. Incredible! - seeing Jared do something that’s not Sam. It’s really fun to see reactions you don’t expect, etc. New vibes. - how he kinda sucks at the same time he’s great. He’s not a good dad, really. He’s distant and strange and there are buried things going on with the family. He’s too violent and has to tamp that down. etc. Super fun to see, especially after the last Dabb-years of bland Sam.

The plot? Meh. The Genevieve flashbacks? Often painful. Mitch Pileggi is fun as the dad. Micki the New Partner has some variably cringey scenes but she and Walker have decent chemistry and their bantz are fun. It’s getting into absurd soap opera twist territory as of ep7 but, shit, it’s not like SPN didn’t have some soap opera twists of its own.

The thing that I keep coming back to, and agree about with my buds that I’m watching with, is: this show’s fun to watch. No, it is not high-quality television. It is not going to win an award. It is not going to have a deeply engaged fandom that’s scraping out all the underbelly of what’s implied and making up “subtext” and having intense shipwars, etc, like some other shows we could name. But it’s just... fun. Like, I get delighted by things that happen and can laugh at the things that are stupid and I enjoy seeing Jared enjoy his work, which wasn’t the case for the last few years. That’s enough.

There should be more things that are just kinda fun and whatever. I’m glad that this show has managed to find a balance of that. Not taking itself too seriously, not shying away from some stuff that’s kind of hard and raw. Jared’s big dimply smile draining away into cold fury. A girl smiling shy over a boy. August, who’s competing against Dean Winchester for the crown of Most Devoted Sonwife. There’s lots of stuff to enjoy. I just shrug over the stuff I don’t.

#Anonymous #walker texas ranger #a qualified rec to be sure #but i have a lot of time in my life for 'fun that isn't insulting'#and it's weirdly rare anymore so #i'll happily have a beer while watching c'boy shenanigans #why not

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kris-p-banana-bread · 3 years

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Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

#bear talks #doafp #robert cañero reed #bobby cañero reed #gabi cañero reed #elena cañero reed #camila doafp #sam faber #fun times #sorry?#I can write a cute fluffy fic to make up for it #i cri #also sorry if I made these a bit too much about bobby #I just relate to him as the older sibling #I added some more so if it got out of hand I’m sorry #tell me and I can make it neater #my meticulousness might just make myself do that on my own tho

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rjhpandapaws · 3 years

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I Will Always Love You

Ch 1: You Won't be Alone This Time

Names/Translations:

Hank: Sealgair, Hennek

Connor: Curiosity, Feorachas

//TW: Death, memories of death, unrequited love

Curiosity wasn’t ready to see him again. That wasn’t to say that he hadn’t been happy to. He just hadn’t been ready. Curiosity had just gotten used to the idea of him being gone; and then there he was, like he had never even left. In another place and time as seemed to be mostly customary of these things, but he largely looked the same. Just like before his vibrant blue eyes were what drew curiosity in all over again, as it seemed he had not learned his lesson. Curiosity tried to stay away, but as they would eventually come to say: Curiosity killed the cat. He couldn’t stay away, not when Hennek looked at the world with so much wonder, the desire to know it in ways that books simply could not provide. Curiosity couldn’t ignore that, he had a hard time keeping his distance from overly curious humans as it was; but even then, with Hennek it was different. It felt like something bigger than the both of them, like Fate had written that wherever Hennek went Curiosity was to dutifully follow. It was an odd feeling, to think that as a being of Fate himself that his actions would seem so prewritten.

Like the predetermined beings he helped govern over, he gave into the pull and followed Hennek. By this point humans were trying to determine or create a god for themselves. Why; Curiosity could only guess. He would assume it was to help them understand the things he and Wisdom hadn’t yet shown them the answers to. The Beginning had told him to leave it alone, so for now he planned to. Hennek didn’t practice this newfound faith, but he was curious about it. Curiosity hadn’t given himself a form yet, he was only watching for now; just like last time he supposed. Perhaps Hennek - Sealgair in this life - would be better off like this; if he didn’t interfere. Sealgair was always alone; not truly though, since Curiosity lingered; but there were never any people with him. Solitary, he supposed would be the word to describe him, he wasn’t lonely. He seemed content to watch those around him rather than participate. Curiosity could understand that, humans were incredibly fascinating. HIs favorite creatures honestly, but they were not meant to be alone. That was what worried him. Sealgair made no moves to even be social, he was always on his own.

Curiosity started snooping, it couldn’t be helped really. He was the embodiment of curiosity; but moreover there had to be a reason. He had found Sealgair well into adulthood, there had to be something he had missed. Something he hadn’t gotten to see. There were always answers to these sorts of things, it was only a matter of digging for them. It took him months, closer to a year if he was honest, to start finding the answers he wanted. They were well hidden. Whatever had happened. Sealgair didn’t want anyone to know. Curiosity wasn’t a person so that was fine. Sure, he took his human form to interact with things, but that was more because as a mere presence he couldn’t open books. It was the principle of the matter. Sealgair had a family once, a wife and a little boy. The thought that Sealgair had loved someone else had stung, but it wasn’t like he had been there. According to the journals, he would dare to call them diaries he found hidden away, the relationship had crumbled rather quickly. Their child had been born ill and hadn’t made this fourth year. That was the start, the end of things had been Sealgair’s drams and ramblings.

Sealgair remembered having been Hennek, and him in a sense. He had vivid recall of the last moments of his first life, down to Curiosity’s own presence, so he was aware that something was amiss. It was the rambling though; Sealgair trying to explain himself; that drove his wife away at long last. That was when Sealgair had made the choice to be alone. To observe. To try and find other like him. One of the journals went into detail of how Hennek had died. He was following someone that he had believed to be Curiosity, but he could never get close enough to get a good look. Every time he had called out Curiosity had only run faster. Of course; it hadn’t been him because he had been waiting for Hennek to return. Which made it one of three things; and age induced hallucination, Death dressed as him as she was known to do, or Balance luring him to his end. To where Death had been waiting. For the first time Curiosity cursed his own nature, he wished he had never learned any of this. He burnt the book as he held it, and it had taken a lot of his concentration to manifest his hurt and rage as a flame, but he wanted the book gone. Destroyed. When he looked up again Sealgair was standing in the doorway. His expression was an odd mix of recognition, fear, and awe; perhaps even anger for a moment.

“Its you.” Sealgair breathed, “I’ve seen you in my dreams. Beside me on that cliff. Why did you let me fall?” Curiosity was still processing the fact that he had been caught. He was certain he hadn’t been making that much noise, Sealgair wasn’t a light sleeper as it was. So Curiosity wondered what it was that had woken him. “Answer me Feorachas!” There was the anger from before. It rumbled in his voice and sharpened his eyes. “Why?” He pleaded, “Why did you kill me?” “That wasn’t - I didn’t... It wasn’t me.” He tried to explain, but the words caught in his throat, “I can show you that day from my perspective if you would like.” He tried to collect himself, but when the hurt persisted he decided that it wasn’t worth the effort, “I love you - loved - you. I wouldn’t have done that to you, even if The Beginning had threatened me with the end of the world.” He pleaded next, “Hennek, I need you to understand that. Please.” He wasn’t sure when he had reached out, or when he had started crying for that matter; but when Sealgair took his hand the memory took over. The sensation was a bit like free falling, and Curiosity was certain this was against all kinds of rules. He needed to do this though; Sealgair deserved to know.

Reliving that dat was not something that Curiosity was emotionally ready for. He had avoided thinking about this one day for centuries, so having to actively do so was difficult. Sealgair deserved to know; to understand. Curiosity would never hurt him, not then and not now. That was why he had tried to stay away. He watched Sealgair as he watched the memory. Observed as the emotions washed over him one by one in the same way they had done to him. Watched as he heard the words that version of Curiosity had said to him. The sight of his old body, even in that state, didn’t seem to bother him. He had long since come to terms with that death. What seemed to shake him bout it had been Curiosity’s reaction to finding him. When they were back to the present, to the real world as it were, Sealgair stared back at him. “Who was it then?” He asked with a note of desperation to his voice, “Who was it that lead me to my death?” “I don’t know.” Curiosity replied with defeat in his own voice, “You were unwell so it could have been that, or my brother, or his... compatriot. There is enough that I don’t know and I can’t give you an answer. I’m sorry. I would like to know as well, who and moreover why. But that was an old life. It shouldn’t keep you from living this one Sealgair. Let go of it. I am with you now.” He squeezed Sealgair’s hand, “You aren’t alone this time.”

Curiosity stayed after that. Sealgair could use the company. There was no love this time, not from Sealgair; he was busy processing. So curiosity loved him privately. The village judged them harshly and Sealgair remained an outsider. If anything, Curiosity’s sudden presence might have made him more of one. Curiosity was lonely in his company, but he stayed. Sealgair deserved to no longer be alone. They were friends at the very least, and Curiosity helped when he could with what Sealgair allowed him to. Sealgair kept his distance and Curiosity got good at pretending that it didn’t hurt. He couldn’t blame him though, learning the things he had was probably unsettling. Humans weren’t meant to deal with their own mortality, and Curiosity probably should have been gentler in unloading it on him. Sealgair got to see old age, but farm work soon became too much for him. So Curiosity took over, he had learned how to do these jobs from observing Sealgair. Curiosity had aged only in appearance so he could handle the jobs just fine. He helped take care of Sealgair in the evenings, though Sealgair fought him the entire way. It was a matter of trust, the first time he had given Curiosity any form of faith he had died. Curiosity of course didn’t blame him. Even if he wished Sealgair would be a little less stubborn about it, but that wasn’t in his nature. Sealgair was many things, and stubborn was the first of them.

The years came on and eventually Sealgair was no longer aware of himself. He was kinder to Curiosity now, but it was brought out of not recognizing him and that hurt more than the distance ever had. Curiosity had retired the farm some years ago, he looked far too old to be doing that kind of work. All of his time was now spent with Sealgair. He was asleep more often than he was awake now, and Curiosity spent a lot of that time running his fingers through Sealgair’s age whitened hair. With all of the time he now spent with Sealgair, he was there when he died. It was a peaceful affair this time. She came for him in his sleep, a rattling exhale and then nothing. Curiosity had been ready to let him go this time so there wasn’t as much pain. He had kept his promise, though Sealgair had not made it easy to. He saw to it that Sealgair was properly buried then vanished. He hoped Sealgair might love him again in the next life. For now though, he had questions for Balance, and he would be getting his answers if Balance gave them to him or if Death did.

#In All Your Forms AU #IAYF #I Will Always Love You #IWALY #Hankcon #dbh Hank #dbh Connor #death and reincarnation #child death #unrequited love #tw death #dbh fic #dbh

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restmyheadatnightcontent · 3 years

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so I watched the terror and fell in love with all these stupid cold boys so I went and read all the fics I could and I fell in love with thse two. my brain wouldnt shut up until I wrote this so here we go. it was meant to be a short little but but ended up as almost 2k of domestic joplittle fluff

Edward sighs as he wakes again to find the space beside him empty. He wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t the fifth time this week that it has happened. He sighs and pulls the jumper that has taken permanent residence on the floor next to the bed. He isn’t sure if it is his, or Thomas’, but right now he is too tired to care.

When Tom first moved in, their clothes were organised and separate from each other, but now, like every other aspect of their lives, they are mixed and tangled in together. There have been many days where he has rushed to work and grabbed a shirt blindly from the wardrobe only to reach the office and find that it isn’t his, or they will go out to the pub and Tom will be wearing the shirt that Ed remembers wearing two weeks before. As time goes on, the lines where separating him and Tom begin to blur more and more.

And honestly, Edward doesn’t mind at all.

However, there is one thing that they do differ on, and that is their attitude for work.

That isn’t to say that Edward doesn’t enjoy his work, and that he doesn’t put any effort in because he does. But he is also loves the moment when he can turn off his computer, leave the office and not have to think about the seemingly never-ending stream of emails that plague him.

Whereas Edward is certain that, if given the choice, Tom would do nothing but work. It is something that has been ingrained into him since childhood, Edward suspects. He had grown up in the countryside, his struggles being distant yet disapproving parents who would ship him off to boarding school so as to not have to deal with him for half the year; the expectation to never let anything show, even on the days where he wanted to do nothing but cry; and the loneliness that ate away at him, despite being almost always surrounded by people. But no matter how cold his family would get, they would always provide for him. He never had to worry about food, or shelter, or money.

Thomas hadn’t been quite so lucky.

It had taken him a while to tell Edward about his childhood, having buried every trace of it deep down out of fear that anyone would find out and think less of him for it.

Not that sane person who had ever met the man would ever think badly of Thomas Jopson. He was hard-working, punctual, incredibly well organised but also friendly, funny, and kind. He remembered everyone’s name in the office, and would always make time to stop and chat. He seemed to have this magical ability to see everyone, and make you feel seen in return, which had terrified Edward at first. He wasn’t used to attention, used to people only talking to him when they needed something from him and for not a second more. So it had been a shock one day to find a cup of tea set down on his desk and looked up to find Francis Crozier’s assistant in front of him with a beaming smile, asking how his day is going. It was a strange feeling being noticed, and realising that Jopson must have noticed him enough attention to make his tea order perfectly. After that, Tom’s visits to his desk had become more frequent, and he would visit Tom at his own whenever the man had a spare minute. And desk visits had become a few pints in the pub after work, and pub trips became dinner, and then he one day he found himself sat across from Tom in the park on his old picnic blanket when the other man had leaned across and kissed him.

After that, Edward started to see more and more of the real Thomas Jopson, as the other man slowly peeled away his hardened layers, letting Edward see what lay beneath. His eyes crinkled when he really smiled, and he snorted when he laughed, and his accent would slip if he was ever really excited about something. He let Tom see the true him in return, and he knows they both found it hard to let someone in after so long, but god was it worth it.

One night, as they were laying in bed, just between awake and sleep when Tom began to talk. He told Edward all about his childhood; about his mum, the young boy who was forced to become a parent to his younger brother, how he had started working so young just so there could be food on the table, about the fear that hangs over him and that he will wake up one day to find he is still that little scared boy, fighting to survive.

His voice hadn’t wavered as he talked, and Edward marvelled at his bravery; to flay himself open, pull down every wall he had built up and let everything else fall away until there was just him. He didn’t say it, but Edward could hear him all the same, saying here I am, this is it, do you still love me? And Edward had thought yes, I love you now more than ever and just pulled Tom in close, held him tight against his chest and promised him that he would never be alone again.

The memories were dredged up again once Crozier made the decision to stop drinking, encouraged by Tom, and Edward could do little besides watching the man he loved run himself into the ground, helping James care for Francis whilst trying to keep the office running smoothly and look after himself. Ed could help with last part at least, and so he made food and made sure that Tom actually ate it, kept the flat tidy because the last thing Tom needed was to come home and have to clean, and when Tom came home late at night exhausted, shaking and overwhelmed by the memories, Edward would hold him, let him cry into his shoulder until he was asleep.

It wasn’t long after that, once Crozier had returned to the office healthier and happier than he’d been in a long time, that Tom had quietly mentioned that he was thinking of a career change. He had always helped people, had always liked helping people and he wanted to do it for other people, to choose to help them and help other people the way he wished someone would have helped him as a child. So the next few weeks were spent meticulously researching different courses and placements and funding and eventually Tom had decided.

He was going to become a nurse.

Ed had been wholly supportive, of course, and his heart swelled with pride as Tom had told him, knowing he would do whatever he could to help the man he loved achieve his dreams. He kept it quiet at the office until Tom had figured out a way to tell Crozier his plans, but he couldn’t help but beam whenever he caught Tom’s eye.

(Once he found out, Crozier was overjoyed but also a little heartbroken to be losing his trusted assistant.)

But he wouldn’t be losing him for a while, as it was going to be a long process. Because he had to care for his mum and brother, Tom had had to drop out of school the minute he could which meant that he didn’t have much in the way of qualifications. So he was put on a foundation course so that he could catch up before starting the proper training, which sadly he hadn’t been able to get funding for. Both Edward and Francis (and almost everyone they knew) had offered to help him, so that he would have time to study, but Tom being Tom would not and could not accept it. This was his decision and he wanted to do it by himself. So he was still working full time at the office, whilst coming home in the evenings to study. Which would have been fine if Tom wasn’t such a perfectionist, and work himself late into the night as he is doing once again tonight.

Edward catches a glimpse of the clock as he makes his way out of the bedroom towards the living room and he sees that it reads 3:34 and sighs. This is the latest that Tom has been up this week and Ed knows that if he carries on like this, he will burn himself out.

Tom is sat on the sofa, laptop balanced on his lap with textbooks open all around him, and even from here Edward can see the exhausted set to his shoulders. At least this time he has made it to the sofa, some nights Edward has found him slumped over the table, shoulders drawn up tight and back tense, and Ed had to sit and watch him wince every time he turned too quickly, the next day when he thought no-one could see.

He shuffles over to the sofa, and Tom doesn’t notice him until he comes to sit beside him. From here Ed can see the deep bags beneath his boyfriends eyes, the paleness of his face and the tiredness that seems to be pouring off of him and he curses himself for not waking earlier and pulling Tom into bed with him, back from the edge of exhaustion before he can do any real harm to himself.

“Shit, did I wake you?” Tom asks, voice quiet but rough with tiredness and eyes slowly blinking at Ed.

“No, just woke up,” he replies. “Missed you.”

“Sorry, darling. I just need to finish this and then I’ll come in,” Tom says, turning back to his typing.

Edward knows better than to start arguing with him, Tom can be incredibly stubborn, and even more so if he thinks he is being coddled. So, he has learnt to resort to slightly more underhanded tactics. He manoeuvres himself up so that he can wrap his arm around Toms waist and let his head fall on his shoulder.

“Ned—” Tom protests, but Ed just hums and squeezes his middle, sneaking his hand underneath Tom’s shirt and runs his fingers along the skin just above his waistband. He pushes his face into Tom’s neck, nose nuzzling at the spot just below his ear that he knows makes Tom weak.

Tom huffs and carries on typing, but Ed can already feel the tension draining from him, and he smiles. Tom is one of the strongest people Edward knows, he carries so much weight on his slim shoulders, but most of the time he carries it effortlessly and Ed is in awe of him.

But there are times when it all becomes a little bit too much and Edward is there to help him carry the load.

He knows Tom has a path in his head, carefully treading the line between the past and the present, taking him where he knows he needs to go. But sometimes he stumbles, pushes himself a little too hard, is a little too harsh on himself, but it doesn’t matter because Ed is there walking every step behind him.

And he will always be there to lead him home.

#the terror #the terror fic #joplittle #thomas jospson #edward little #jopson x little #joplittle fic #my fic #my writing

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sparkleofpizza · 4 years

Text

The archer - Tim Drake x reader 2/?

Requested: no

Warnings: bit of angst

Taglist: @isthataladybag

Summary: Y/n Queen will be living in the Wayne Manor for a while, and Dick Grayson decided to be the Cupid between her and his little brother Tim Drake.

Word count: 2.671

Part 1 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

After the sleeping incident, Tim couldn't look at you without blushing madly. You only smiled sweetly at him, not really trying anything to make him more flustered. You figured if he had the same interest in you as you had in him, eventually he would come to you and you both could find out what to do about that.

Obviously, you had to talk to someone about that, and that lead to a big wave of teasing coming from Connor Hawke, your best friend . You wished you could talk about that to your sister Emiko, but unfortunately that wasn't possible at the moment. You were still adjusting to the fact that you had a sister, and right at the moment where you wished to speak to her about something important to you, you simply couldn't reach out to her.

You were sitting at the Batcomputer watching Jason do some workout routine. You had went down there once you found out they had a treadmill, and decided to take on the opportunity to run a bit. Just to get the blood pumping.

"So, when was the last time you practiced something?" Jason asked, pulling you out of your thoughts

You looked up at him, watching as he had finished up his routine. You smirked, pulling your hair up in a ponytail, walking towards him.

"Before I got here." You replied

"Oh, you must be rusty then. It's been a couple of weeks." He laughed "Are you sure you're up for sparing?"

"Are you sure you're up for sparing?"

He laughed at you, motioning with his hand "Bring it up."

You lunged at him, deflecting some of his punches and trowing some of your own. You caught on his hand as he want to punch you in the face, twisting his arm around to his back. He let go, making you stumble a little before you got back on your feet, elbowing him on the ribs, and successfully kicking him on the knees making him loose his balance as you went around his back and got him on the ground with a painful thud.

You smirked down at him, offering a hand.

"Looks like you're the one who is a little rusty." You teased him

"I was going easy on you." He grumbled under his breath

"How did you do that?" Damian questioned, standing beside you, looking at his brother on the floor and then back at you, narrowed eyes

This was one of the first times that he was talking to you without that air of disgust he always have. You smiled, pushing some hair strands from your face.

"My brother taught me that."

"Yeah, but Todd is more than twice your size." He remarked, not truly believing in what he had witnessed before his eyes "Fight me!"

"Ok." You nodded, getting in fight stance once more

Jason chuckled lowly, getting out of your way and joining Dick and Tim who had stopped to watch you and Damian fight. The two later, who had not seen you and Jason fight, were looking concerned about your well being. Damian knew how to be ruthless during fighting, he had been trained by the League of Assassins after all.

The little boy lunged at you with all his force, only growing frustrated as you dodged all of his advances and managed to punch him in the ribs. It was easy to understand a bit of his moves, he was raised at the League of Assassins, you had your fair share of encounters with them to now that, and also had spent five months being trained by them after some ridiculous stunt that Malcom Merlyn had pulled.

He screamed in frustration when you held both of his arms on his back, him on his knees.

"I demand you tell me how you know all of this."

Damian would never admit it, but you were too good of a fighter and he didn't want to give you the credit for it. He was supposed to know all the cool and different tricks he learned at the league.

His brothers were staring at you in a awe as Jason only laughed at scene in front of him. Tim thought his heart was going to come out of his mouth, it was beating just way too fast. If he didn't think you were way too incredible for him before, now he was a 100% sure of it.

"Your mother taught me that." Was all you said, before pulling the boy up and leaving to grab a bottle of water

At that all four of them had their mouthes hung open. Talia had taught you that? How was it possible that you, of all people, had been trained by that woman? That only made them realize they didn't know much about you as you seem to know a lot about them. That certainly wasn't good, they were supposed to be a family of detectives, how couldn't they know who was the girl that was staying at their house?

"You mean you were trained by the demon's mother?" Jason exclaimed "Roy never told me that."

"That's because we do not talk about that. She tried to kill me once or twice, and I also spent some time at the League." You explained, turning to look at them as you leaned against a table "That's not big deal, really."

"Uh, yes it is!" Tim exclaimed, waving his hands around "You turned on the tables of her wanting to kill to being trained by her. If this isn't amazing, I don't really know what it is."

You smiled at him, it felt good to be complimented by him. Thank God you checks were already red from the physical effort or else everyone would have seen you blush.

"Well, when your brother is the Green Arrow, his girlfriend is the Black Canary and you're surrounded by bad guys trying to kill you and your family, you kind of have to find a way to defend yourself."

Tim's eyes went wide. Was he crushing Oliver Queen's little sister? Oh, this was much worse than he had previously thought. He thought you were Roy's sister, which was already bad enough, but being Oliver's sister? He's going to end up with way to many arrows' wounds if they ever find out about him having feelings for you.

He failed to notice as everyone left the room, leaving the two of you alone. They had all been rushed out by Dick who wanted to make sure you guys would end up together by the time you left. He wouldn't let it go until you were a couple.

"So..." You broke the silence, taking a few steps towards him "We haven't really talked much since that day I helped you out with that case. How is it going?"

His eyes went wide, he didn't think you'd notice he had been kind of avoiding you lately.

"It's good to go. We're going to bust them tomorrow, that's when the sale is going to take place."

You nodded, standing right in front of him. You were only a few inches from him, if he lifted his hand he could brush it against your skin - he really wanted to do that. He wanted to feel your warmth and your body close to his just like that day when you slept in each others embrace.

"Maybe I could join you guys on the field." You said, looking up at him thought your eyelashes "I have some experience on that area already."

"Yeah?" He breathlessly asked, leaning down a bit, just to take a better look at you "But that's too dangerous, you could get hurt."

"So could you." Your chests were almost touching "I guess we would have to have each others backs, then."

"I suppose we would." He pushed some loose hair away from your face, keeping his hands there "But still, I can't picture someone so wonderful as you at a weapon sale."

"I could say the same for you." You pressed your hands on his chest, patting it slightly, feeling some of its muscles "Normally big bad mobster buyers have a girl in his arms."

"And you would be my girl?"He questioned, his hand on your face going down to your jaw as his other hand pulled at your waist, pressing your bodies together

"Oh, yes. You can bet I'll be your girl." You replied, gripping his biceps

He leaned down more, your lips was just about to brush, you could feel your heart beating faster and faster. Then there was footsteps approaching making you pull apart.

"Father is asking for you, Drake. You have a meeting at Wayne Enterprises." Damian announced, eyeing you two very suspiciously, considering how red your faces were

"Yeah, I am coming." Tim rubbed the back of his neck

He looked at you sheepishly before leaving with his little brother, leaving you alone at the batcave, frustrated.

So much for a kiss.

Later that week, they were all getting ready for the weapon sale. You were sitting on a chair, looking rather disappointed when Bruce had told you he had promised your brother to keep your safe, and letting you go to a mission full of weapon wasn't really keeping you safe. You tried to argument that you knew how to take care of yourself, but Dick had told you it was hard to change Bruce's mind once it was already set up.

All there was left for you to do was sit with Alfred and watch the cameras. Hoping that everything would turn out to be ok, you didn't want any of them to get hurt, being in there would make you feel a bit more calmer. At least you would be able to intervene if it was necessary, you could help out.

"They're going to be ok, miss y/n. That includes master Tim."

You looked at Alfred with pure shock. Sure it wasn't that visible that you had a crush on Tim.

"I saw the both of you asleep at his bed a couple of days ago." He explained "I am glad he found a girl like you."

You smiled happily at him. Getting Alfred's approval was important to you, even if you still didn't know what was going on between the two of you after having almost shared a kiss yesterday and saying stuff about you being his girl. But, you were always inching towards each other, and right now all you wanted to do was be by his side on the field.

You heard them talking over the coms, wishing they'd all be alright by the end of this. God, if they showed up with any bullet wounds, you'd be pissed.

"We're about to get in." Bruce said over the coms "Red Hood was already able to get the information we needed to get all these men in jail."

"I'm cutting the power right now." Alfred informed, clicking some things on the bat computer and shutting down all energy from the building

Right now all you could hear was grunting and gunshots as the fight started. You bit your lip nervously, you were already used to this kind of stuff, you watched your brother do it every time and most times you stayed behind because being a vigilante isn't one of your top priorities, but you have no idea how the batfamily works. You've never actually seen them in action before, so obviously you were a nervous wreck waiting for them to get back.

"Perhaps I should prepare you a cup of camomile tea while you monitor them to me." Alfred offered, already standing up and not waiting for your reply

Honestly, this man is way too good to everyone in this house.

Your eyes stayed glued on the screens, looking trough all of the surveillance cameras to make sure there was nothing out of the ordinary happening there. But that's when an alert popped up on the screen and a lot made sense to you in that moment, this wasn't just any kind of weapon sale.

"Uh guys, you need to get out of there." You said, typing away on the keyboard trying to get more information - grateful for whatever tech info Felicity ever taught you "There's a bomb in the building!"

"What? Can you find where's located?" Tim breathlessly asked

"It's under it, but I can't disarm it from here! Someone must do it remotely. I'm sending you the infos."

Why would someone plant a bomb at a weapon sale? That didn't make any sense.

"Here's your tea, miss... What just happened?" Alfred rushed to your side upon looking at the bomb's instructions

"There is a bomb in the building!"

"I'm already on it!" Damian exclaimed

You took a big gulp of the tea, wishing that the camomile would instantly calm you down. That was too much for your nerves, Damian was just a kid, what if it exploded on him? This mission was testing your anxiety levels a lot more than you expected it to.

A painfully half an hour later, you heard all of their bikes and the batmobile pulling up at the cave. You and Alfred had already prepared all of the necessary stuff in case they were hurt, which of course they were.

All five of them came limping towards the medical bay where Alfred ushered them to start patching them up. You looked up from the medical gloves you were placing on your hands to see Tim stand beside you, a hand on his shoulder and a small smile on his lips.

"It was nice working with you over the coms. You did a good job."

"Thank you, I normally help Felicity the best I can when I'm not out on the field." You smiled back at him, pulling his hand away from his shoulder to take a better look at the injury "Sit down, please, you're too tall for me and this is gonna hurt."

He chuckled at your choice of words, but then proceeded to whimper in pain as he sat down on the medical bed behind him. You shook your head, helping him pull out the top half of his suit to have better access at the wound. You inspected it closely, standing between his legs, before pulling the bullet out of his shoulder, it didn't go too deep, so it was easier to get it out.

You cleaned all of the blood with alcohol to make sure it wouldn't infect and then proceeded to stitch him up.

"You're full of surprises, little Queen." Tim broke the silence, looking at your adorably concentrated face "A very skilled fighter, good at patching people up, good with techs. Is there anything else you'd like to share?"

You bit your lower lip, placing some gauze over the stitches and rubbing it slightly. You looked up at him, a smirk adorning your face.

"And what's the fun in that? I think you're gonna have to find out all of my secrets, Mr. Drake."

He chuckled, placing a hand at your hips to keep you from moving "Oh, you can bet I'm gonna find it all out."

He leaned in a bit, but you placed a finger on his lips. He frowned, pouting slightly against your index finger.

"We can finish flirting later, pretty bird. Right now you need to rest and I have to help Alfred patch up the rest of your brothers."

"But I may need assistance while resting."

Your finger traced the outline of his lips, eyes never failing to leave his as you slowly took a step away from him.

"If you go up to your room right now, take a shower and actually lay in bed to rest, after I'm done here, I'll visit you to make sure you have the assistance you need."

Tim nodded eagerly, standing up too fast and wincing from pain one more time.

"I can do that." He smiled, kissing your check

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theimprobabledreamersworld · 3 years

Text

It’s taken a month... but one of the last chapters of ‘My Past Became Our Future’ is finally posted! I’m honestly still in awe at the fact that this first attempt of multi-chaptered fic writing was even read at all on Ao3... let alone just over 600 times! I’m so grateful for the support, whether it was on here or Ao3 <3 Thank you all for being on this journey with me! <3

One or two chapters to go!

Read on Ao3 or below. Warnings are below the line!

You can also read it from the beginning through this link!

Taglist for this story: @psychedelicships @jwillowwolf @lost-in-thought-20 @red-imeanblue @stardustlv

Chapter Fifteen:

Warnings: Swearing, weapons and descriptions, brief violence, blood, threat and angst.

“It’s the story of the one’s who never saw it coming. They never saw it coming.”

Virgil froze to the spot as he watched Thomas and Nico struggle to free themselves from the hold they were under. Remus and Patton had the same glint of malevolence in their eyes, it was clear that they were never going to change. The room was in chaos, Virgil couldn’t get his mind to focus on only one thing

“Virgil! I need you over here. I’m losing him and Roman isn’t helping at all.” The words were blurry, almost as if they were being called out far off into the distance. He looked out of the corner of his eye and saw blood seeping through Janus’ shirt with Roman staring in silence. Virgil had never seen this look on Roman’s face before, a look of… helpless, uncertainty… fear.

Patton could see the strain the whole situation was taking on Virgil and continued to smile, he thought that Virgil was going to crack, to give in. It would be a cold, dark day in hell before that ever happened. He decided to stall for time while he tried to come up with a plan. His body ached and there was dull pain radiating in his chest, his legs, his arms… his mind. He tensed every part of his body, focusing on the pressure that encompassed the action before relaxing while a deep breath, he looked Patton in the eye and faking a questioning look in his eyes. Patton took the bait, and laughed once more at Virgil. He tried to keep calm and make sure that Patton still thought that he had the upper hand. “Come on, Virgil. You’re not that stupid. Surely you know what the deal is now. You come back to me. Right now… or everyone you love will die.”

Virgil gasped as he realised just how determined Patton was. What was so important about Virgil coming back? He has so many assassins in The Family… why was he so desperate? He didn’t have time to think about that right now, he saw Thomas and Nico wincing in pain as they struggled against the hold of Remus and Patton then the one thing he didn’t see coming, glimmering in the corner of his eye. Roman, standing over Logan… holding a gun. It couldn’t be. He held eye contact with Patton while slowly moving his hand into his hoodie pocket. He felt the tinkling of metal but… His gun. The secret one he took from behind the painting, it was gone. That bastard, while he was pleading for Janus’ life, he must have taken it while Logan was convincing him to stay and help. He knew they should have left when they had the chance. It was a stalemate. Everyone was talking over each other, it was becoming difficult to process it all.

“Virgil! I can’t do this alone. I need you!” Logan called out while pressing his hands hard on Janus’ side trying to stem the blood flow. Either he didn’t see the gun looming over his head, or he was somehow managing to ignore it.

“You know what you have to do Virgil.” Patton called out in a sing-song voice.

“You can’t escape this, just accept your fate.” Remus chimed in, his voice was still raspy from where Virgil had knocked him to the ground but the malicious intent was still there, it somehow added to the gravity of the situation.

“Just go Virgil! Run!” Thomas’ voice was strained but the desperation was clear.

“We’ll be fine, we’ll find you. Just grab Logan and get the hell out of here!” Nico’s voice was equally strained, and despite that offer being incredibly appealing, he knew his husband. There was no way he would leave now, not when someone’s life was in the balance. Everyone’s voices were melding into one, there were lights flashing behind his eyes and the stabbing pain in his head was making everything worse. He clutched his head before screaming and shouting out into the room.

“SHUT UP! All of you shut up! Don’t move, don’t speak, don’t breathe. I’m trying to think. Remus, face the other way. You’re putting me off.” He heard Thomas snigger before the room fell silent around them. Patton and Remus looked at each other in sheer confusion. Remus even appeared to be contemplating whether he should turn around or not, but realised that Thomas was still under his grip, so he stood grounded in place.

He looked over to Logan where Roman was standing above him. The feeling of panic tried to surge through him as the gun was aimed squarely at Logan’s head, but he could see Roman’s hand trembling. He was breaking under the gravity of the situation. His mind began to race as the pieces started to click.

Roman.

He was the solution. Of course! How could he have been so stupid and not noticed it before! He began to laugh, this is where things would turn around. He could get what he wanted while saving everyone… especially the people he loved. He wouldn’t have to kill anyone, Virgil could prove that he wasn’t like them anymore. Once and for all.

“Oh Patton, Patton, Patton… I think it’s me who has a new deal for you.” He began to laugh louder, a new-found confidence danced in his eyes and when he looked up at Patton, he saw him wince ever so slightly.

“D- d- do you really think you’re in a position to argue with me, Virgil. I have you surrounded, your only way out is to give it up, and come back to your Family.” The stammer in Patton’s voice stunned him temporarily, in all the years he had unfortunately known this man, he was never one to slip out of control. He always ensured his confidence remained at the forefront like a mask, watching it slip was oddly satisfying.

“Logan, darling. Stop.” Virgil looked firmly at Patton as he said those three words that created a deafening silence in the room. Logan turned around sharply, the look of frustration thankfully hidden from Virgil.

“What?! If I stop. He will die!” The desperation in his otherwise stern tone was apparent. Logan hated when he was told to do stop doing something, especially when it benefitted another person. It’s one of the many things he loved about his husband, but now was not the time. As he turned to look at him, there was a short almost silent gasp. Logan must have finally noticed the gun, they stared at each other and Virgil needed him to understand. He widened his eyes ever so slightly, a subtle hint that he was practically begging him to go along with this. It was clear that Logan had no idea what was going on, but he nodded to show his agreement. As Logan stopped applying pressure to Janus’ wound and his hand slowly slipped to the side. In turn, Roman’s hand began to tremble aggressively and the gun rattled, he was close to getting what he needed. He just needed to push a little more.

“I know… Here’s my deal, Patton. You let us go. You don’t follow us, you never try to find me again… and we’ll save Janus’ life.” He saw the gun fall to Roman’s side in the corner of his eye, and as it clattered to the floor, he was relieved that his plan came to fruition. His smirk was wiped off his face by Patton laughing maniacally into Nico’s ear, he had to change his grip to wipe away the tears of laughter running down his face. Nico took the opportunity to try and prise Patton’s arm away from his neck but it only made him squeeze harder, and Nico gave up almost immediately.

“Oh please. Don’t patronise me… Do you really think I care enough about HIM to let go of my most valuable asset?” Patton was so busy gloating that he didn’t even notice that Roman had left his post, and was slowly creeping up behind him and Remus, his eyes almost glowing red with rage.

“No, I knew you wouldn’t. You could replace him in a heartbeat. I was counting on him.” He pointed behind the two as Roman kicked Patton in the back, he cried out in pain and was forced to let Nico go in the process. During the distraction, Remus instinctively let Thomas go. He stood in front of Patton like he always does, his only role was the follow Patton’s orders and protect him. Virgil had to admit, he was unfortunately good at that. Roman drew his sword from its sheath before forcing the two of them against the wall. When Virgil saw that he had the upper hand, he went over to Logan. He was assured that Thomas and Nico would keep everyone back too.

“What do you need?” He asked in a calculated way, Logan threw some gauze at him and Virgil looked at him slightly confused as what to do with it.

“You need to hold this here, I can’t stop this bleed on my own.” Logan took Virgil’s hand and helped him press down on Janus’ side. He only just noticed an out of sight wound was out of control, it was a miracle that Janus was still alive. They worked together and slowly, Virgil could apply less pressure as Logan delicately stitched the wound. As Logan finished up, Janus’ pulse began to steady and his eyes fluttered into the realm of consciousness. Virgil turned to Roman and nodded in reassurance who sighed in relief. He patted Janus on the shoulder as he slowly came around before standing up and holding a hand out for Logan to take. He had to use all of his dwindling strength to pull Logan up who staggered violently before steadying himself against Virgil.

It was over. It was finally over. As they looked around the carnage that had destroyed the place they had called home for the last five years and shared a look. They needed to go, it was now or never.

They walked away from Janus carefully over the broken glass and irreplaceable memories towards the door. Virgil tapped Thomas and Nico on the shoulder and Roman nodded as he silently promised to keep the other two behind the sword. Virgil made a small gesture, something to indicate that Roman could always come with them, but his eyes flitted towards Janus and he shook his head with a soft smile on his face. He understood, those two were like brothers after all, deep down he knew that Roman wouldn’t leave without him but he would have felt guilty if he didn’t offer. He let the others walk out in front of him so he could look Patton in the eye one more time. Patton began to chuckle darkly and Virgil couldn’t help but stop dead in his tracks.

“I hope you enjoy your brand new life Virgil, but let me reassure you about one thing… You really are going to regret this.” His voice grew more sinister with every word and the threat seemed sincere. He tried to push it aside, but he was intrigued about this whole situation. He knew that he shouldn’t engage with Patton, but he needed to know.

“Why have you been so determined to get me back, Patton? You’ve had your choice of assassins over the years, yet you keep circling around to me. I don’t understand. Why me?” Patton sighed, debating whether or not he should explain.

“It… it wasn’t my choice. I was being ordered to have you return. If you had read those letters we kept sending you, you would have known. Believe it or not, I don’t care… but we were warning you.”

“Wait. There’s someone above you? That doesn’t make sense! You have never mentioned this in the entire time that I’ve known you. So there’s another person pulling the strings?” Virgil couldn’t believe what he was hearing, this was impossible.

“Be that as it may, that still doesn’t explain why.” Virgil tilted his head as he tried to wrap his head around everything. He could hear the others scrambling to get everything together outside, there was also a part of his mind who knew this was probably just a way of stalling for time. However, when Patton looked away and then looked back at Virgil again, there was a glimmer of something in his eye- an emotion he had never seen on Patton’s face, but one he knew all too well.

“Oh. I see…” He laughed bitterly. “All this time, I thought you were just bitter about me breaking free of you… but bitterness is a paralytic… Love. Now that’s a much more vicious motivator.” Patton’s eyes appeared to glimmer with something that resembled shame, he glanced over at Remus who nodded. Whoever this person was, it must be someone important for Patton of all people to be in love.

“Well, good luck with that. You’ll never see me again. That’s a promise.” He turned and patted Roman on the shoulder one final time before walking into the hallway meeting the others. They looked at him with concern and he nods to let them know he was okay. Thomas handed him a bag which he put on his back before linking arms with Logan and the four of them finally walked out the front door.

“He’ll find you Virgil. Don’t you forget th-.” The words were cut off by the door slamming shut behind them. Logan squeezed his hand tightly, reassuring him that it was just an empty threat. He couldn’t shake the feeling though it might come to fruition one day… but for now, the four of them could move on. He could breathe again for the first time in so long, the constant weight on his shoulders was finally lifted. They carried on walking for a while until they reached a hotel they could stay in for the night, and although they had made it out alive, they all looked over their shoulder periodically just to make sure no one was lingering. The hotel was apparently desperate for business considering they didn’t ask any questions or seem to mind their physical appearance. Nico paid for it all and Virgil made a mental note that he needed to repay him as soon as possible, and not just for the hotel.

They all walked wearily up the stairs to their two separate rooms which were next to each other. They agreed that they would discuss everything in the morning and closed the doors to the world. Virgil sighed and dumped his bag unceremoniously on the floor before holding onto the chair for support and stared at his reflection in the mirror. Logan sighed sarcastically and placed the bag along with his own neatly on the table before turning to Virgil with a smile.

“You did it, and you have no idea how proud I am of you.” The sincerity and love in Logan’s voice was the catalyst. Virgil trembled, gripping the chair until his knuckles turned white. He turned to Logan and his legs buckled, a loud sob escaped from his mouth and Logan raced forward and caught Virgil before he fell. He wrapped his arms around Virgil supporting him while all of the emotions he was forced to supress escaped from him like a river that had burst its banks. Virgil tried to push away from Logan, but it only made him hold on tighter. Eventually he gave in and placed his arms around Logan, he cried until he was sore, but Logan just held him close until the tears turned to quiet sniffles. Virgil pulled away and put his forehead against Logans.

“I’ve got you. It’s okay. I know, my dear. You’re safe with me. We’re both safe. I promise, I promise… I’m not letting go.” Logan’s voice was warm and comforting, soothing him of all of his worries. As they both collapsed onto the bed, they fell asleep instantly. For the first time in so many years, he slept through the whole night knowing the one he loved would be safe. Knowing that he was safe.

They had each other, and it was time that they lived the life they deserved.

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de-profundis-ad-astra · 3 years

Photo

WIP INTRO || WRETCHES AND KINGS Writeblr Masterlist

GENRE || Adult Urban Gothic POV || Third person omniscient STATUS || First draft completed, second draft in progress SETTING || Modern day THEMES/FEATURES || Modern mythology, criminal aesthetic, found family, immortality, death, revenge, grief cycle, moral crises, platonic soulmates

SYNOPSIS

An undeniable crime problem plagues the city of Easthold, an affluent city rife with thieves and bandits of all pedigrees. This in and of itself is not all that strange. What’s strange is the incredibly high volume of unsolved crimes, of acts no one has claimed, ones even the Easthold Police Department can’t even begin to find blame for. Even when committed in broad daylight, even when the police arrive on the scene in the middle of a heist, no one manages to catch more than unclear glimpses of the culprits, no bullets hit their marks, and when all is said and done there is somehow never any reliable evidence. No camera ever manages to catch a thing, no trap is ever successful, and never has a single witness managed a coherent report, like somehow none of them ever pay enough attention. Like somehow what they’ve seen can never be put into words.

Throw a stone in Easthold and you’ll hit a crook, from thugs to conmen to masked killers who all call the city home. They all know their place, yet somehow the balance of powers never really makes sense. Like something is missing. Like everyone is fighting to be the second best while the title of top dog remains empty. Not that the reluctance to take charge is all that surprising, considering the way any crew which starts to grow big enough to extend their hold over the city is cut down. Driven out or found murdered, often laying in the remains of what was clearly a vicious shootout, though the killers are never found. Like vigilantes, only not so altruistic; the spoils belonging to the defeated gangs are always taken, only to reappear at the scene of yet another unrelated crime.

There’s something deeply wrong in Easthold. Something strange and unsettling. Like a catastrophic event has knocked the whole city just slightly out of sync with the rest of the world. It’s in the way the EPD have cabinet upon cabinet of unsolved crimes that never manage to make their way into reports, years of unacceptably unpunished offences that would bring the might of a federal investigation if only they were disclosed. In the way a startling amount of those offences resemble crimes from days long past.

There are secrets in Easthold. Things no one knows, things everyone knows, and awful, impossible, inescapable reality they’ve all been trapped within. It’s in the way unease builds and dissipates without cresting, citizens never quite recognizing their own discomfort, never fully acknowledging the oddity of acting without reason, of crossing the street or averting their eyes, of taking the long way home simply because that one corner just didn’t feel right. In the way the city is beset by sudden explosions, the way gunfire rattles, the way streets echo with chilling laughter like the ghost of a memory, the phantom chill of a nightmare, the ceaseless loop of those who will not be laid to rest.

MAIN CAST

MARLENE WALCROFT || As the leader, Marlene has always has to present herself as reasonably level-headed, controlled outside the occasional snaps of frightful anger, a little overbearing in her need to dictate every plan maybe, but what criminal kingpin isn’t? What’s odd is the new fear kept behind closed doors, Marlene second guessing her own ideas to a degree that is wholly out of character, running over plans again and again, pulling them apart and looking for flaws, debriefing even after successful missions when everyone else just wants to celebrate, unconsciously pressing her hand to her heart like reassurance that it’s still beating.

SPENCER MCFARLANE || He may be happier in a no-holds-barred fist fight, but nobody could say Spencer isn’t good with a gun, an excellent shot with just about any weapon he can get his hands on. What’s odd is the little burst of panic he gets right after firefights, patting his own chest, checking again and again like he can’t quite believe he wasn’t hit.

HYRENE BRAEDEN || For all her quick temper and flippant attitude, Hyrene can be utterly pedantic about checking and rechecking the timers on bombs, which honestly isn’t an awful trait. What’s odd is the way Hyrene gets angry about it sometimes, storms about the penthouse yanking out every last alarm clock, the way she swears she can still hear something ticking with furious intention, like the last seconds of a countdown.

TERRANCE PHOENIX || Terrance isn’t wracked by guilt, doesn’t regret what he does the way some might; he’s a killer and he owns it, he chose it, and it truly doesn’t bother him. What’s odd is the way he still can’t sleep, can’t close his eyes some nights when the darkness squeezes close and he feels so cold, like the depths of the ocean are pressing down on him, stealing the air from his lungs. As Marlene’s second in command, he feels the responsibility to hold the crew together in the event that the kingpin finally snaps.

KYE || In terms of safety, Kye is as reckless as they come, all slapdash impulses and delighted disregard, chasing amusement at any cost when it’s only their neck on the line. What’s odd is that sometimes Kye walks around with a parachute strapped to their back and no intention of flying that day, utterly overzealous precaution without any real explanation as to why, like some part of them is always terrified they’re going to fall.

CAIM ROBINETT || Caim drives like he made a deal with the devil, like every vehicle is just an extension of his being, inherent ability paired with unmatchable knowledge of ever backroad alley in the city. What’s odd is the nightmarish daydreams he gets sometimes, when he looked back at his latest baby and sees flickers of crunched metal and shattered glass, the phantom scent of spilled gasoline and the unmissable click-swoosh of a catching flame.

ELIAN REED || There’s nothing odd about Elian. Just an unfortunate case of someone who got caught in the wrong situation at the wrong time. Or perhaps something is off. Every moment spent with her savior, the queen with hair like fire, it’s almost as though she’s in the presence of a ghost. They’re all like ghosts, and she can’t quite place a finger on why. She also can’t place a finger on why not just Marlene, but everyone in her inner circle, is so hellbent on making sure she’s never around them for just a moment too long.

EXCERPT

This job. Shit.

Terrance had his own suspicions about how aware the others were of how frequently he snuck off. Hyrene knew. And that didn’t necessarily mean the others did, too, but it left the possibility. That was enough to set his teeth on edge. Marlene asking him to play such a pivotal role in the job only made it worse.

If she knew about what he was doing now, then she was undoubtedly asking him to do it with the belief that he would not be walking away from it.

And for that alone, he would be sure to prove her wrong. How dare she disrespect him like this. Besides, when he died and woke up still in her home, then that would be cause for a great deal of fun.

He hadn’t been prepared for it all to happen so soon, though. He’d expected another few months to prepare to get rid of the threat that was Marlene McFarlane, but in that time she, too, had identified him as a threat, and was making the first move to see him taken off of the playing board.

“Terrance.”

Not a question of his presence. A statement. He heard the clacking of Marlene’s heels on the hardwood floor before she appeared.

Maybe the first punches would be thrown tonight, then.

“Yeah,” he said in answer, dipping his head in Marlene’s direction as she made her approach. She stalked forward with the gait of someone intent of making him into prey. He did not appreciate that.

“I had a question for you,” she said, positioning herself across the island from him. A smart move, if she really knew the extent to which he could harm her. If he tried hard enough, there wasn’t anything in the world that could bring her back.

But she didn’t need to know that. Not yet. Right now all she needed was the reliable second in command that he had dutifully played the role of for many years. The time for surprises would come later. Perhaps sooner than expected, but they could still wait.

“Go ahead,” he said invitingly, even going so far as to open his hands to her. Nonthreatening.

Her pale green eyes fixed on his mask, still settled near the corner of the island. Her eyes tightened. Okay, maybe a little threatening.

“How did you do it?” she asked.

Terrance laughed out loud. “I’ve done a great many things in this life you’ve given me. You’ll have to be more specific than that.”

Marlene kept her expression flat. Though emotionless, she somehow appeared angry when she asked, “How did you kill a god?”

Terrance paused in the middle of his drink, suddenly finding that he had to channel all of his focus into making sure he didn’t choke up what he’d already swallowed. Carefully swallowing what was in his mouth, Terrance lowered his glass to the counter with a quiet thunk.

“Who’d you hear that from?” he asked, his voice rasping slightly.

“People whisper,” said Marlene with a nonchalant shrug, leaning with her elbows against the surface of the island. “They spin the most splendorous tales out there, do you know that?”

“They’re also a bunch of crackheads who hallucinate half of the things they think they see,” Terrance countered. It certainly wasn’t false.

“But the imagery they spin is so vivid, wouldn’t you say?” said Marlene. “You haven’t heard the tales they tell about you?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“They whisper of the Renegade in a skull mask.” Another flicker of her eyes in the direction of the very same mask. “They worship the ground the Master of Death walks on as he mingles with the living.”

TAGLIST

@firefeatherx @goldenhour-goldenboy @mandoplease @mylifeliterally @phoenixhalliwell @havenforafrazzledmind @living-reminder @beatriz-silva-00 @pascalz @worldominatorx @givemethatgold @agirllovespancakes @lilacyennefer @dignityneeded @veuliee @briskywalker @davairys @aetherwrites @ryns-ramblings @teriwrites

#writeblr #wip intro #original writing #writers on tumblr #original stuff #wretches and kings #trying to get back into a pattern of posting #lets see how it goes #i've been wanting to introduce this wip for a while #finally just had to suck it up and do it #anyway #enjoy?

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-3rd Place

It’s here that I feel I should give a couple warnings about this next show.

My #3 pick is NOT meant for children. Not in a way that Rick and Morty or Camp Camp aren’t meant for children (as in, as long as you’re twelve years old, you’ll still enjoy it), but in a way that this show deals with topics that kids are not ready to talk about yet. Hell, there are topics that some adults aren’t prepared to talk about.

This brings me to my next warning. If you feel as though your interests are random comedies or if you use cartoons to escape, DON’T WATCH THIS SHOW. It may not seem like it at first, but this series will not only make it clear that you shouldn’t ignore your problems and will actually bring them right towards you in a raging force.

Finally, you shouldn’t just binge this one. It’s best to watch a couple episodes a day and get back to it later because out of all the series that I’ve talked about thus far, it’s #3 that isn’t really a fun ride the whole way through. In a complementary way, that is.

#3-Bojack Horseman (2014-2020)

The Plot: Back in the ’90s, Bojack Horseman was the star of a famous TV show called Horsin’ Around. Years after the show got canceled, he is now a drunken mess just trying to stay relevant in today’s television market. Will he get his big break, or is he just a one-trick pony?

I meant it when I said this is a show for adults. Bojack Horseman has topics and storylines that kids are not ready to see or hear. Or at least, Bojack Horseman has topics that they’re not capable enough to understand at such a young age. Topics that actually utilize what other “adult” cartoons use as cheap tricks to get that mature rating. Most shows just have characters drink and do drugs to look mature. Bojack Horseman uses drugs and alcohol as cautionary tales for alcoholism, opium adiction, and the high possibility of a person dying from a drug overdose. In fact, where most adult cartoons treat death as a joke, Bojack Horseman is a series that, for the most part, actually treats death as the final end that it is. And where most shows use sex as a symbol of maturity, Bojack Horseman actually appropriates sex to tell a story. Whether showing the faults of having angry sex with your partner or even utilizing the chance to talk about abortion. That’s right, there is an entire episode that talks about abortion in this show. Not even Family Guy, a series that relies on crude shock humor, had the balls to deal with this subject...okay, that’s not entirely true. Family Guy actually did have the balls to talk about abortion, but the network cut them off. Still, the point is that Bojack Horseman is a show that doesn’t seem afraid to talk about whatever the hell it wants to talk about.

And trust me when I say talk because this show is the most dialogue-heavy series on this list. This should be a problem if it wasn’t for the fact that the dialogue is fantastic due to how it’s so...real. The conversations, arguments, and monologues that these characters have with each other sounds like things actual people would say to each other. For example, the episode “Free Churro” is just a half-hour of Bojack Horseman giving a eulogy at his mother's funeral. And I’m not kidding when I say that it’s the best episode of the entire series. Because I don’t hear Will Arnet voicing a character. I hear a man explaining to an audience about his mother's life and the complicated relationship she had with him. And just like a real-life eulogy, you’ll hang on to every word this guy says.

Now not all of Bojack Horseman’s dialogue is natural because the show’s surreal sense of humor practically ruins it. Usually, I like it when a show tries to balance darkness with a light sense of humor, and at times this one can be pretty hilarious to watch. It’s just the moments where the characters say something bizarre or meta that the comedy could use a little polish. Because when you’re so used to characters speaking like actual human beings, the immersion is broken when they say something unhuman like. And because of this, the show’s comedy is easily the weakest point of it. It’s not bad comedy, but it would help if it didn’t drag the series down with it.

But what doesn’t drag the series down is its main antagonist. Bojack Horseman has the most unique and original interpretation of who should go against Bojack himself. Because here’s the thing: Bojack’s greatest enemy isn’t an intergalactic dictator, a demon from another dimension, or even a person trying to get revenge. The biggest enemy to Bojack Horseman, is in fact, Bojack Horseman. Every little awful, depressing, and downright life-threatening thing that happens to this character is almost always his own fault. Because everything, to the hatred from Bojack's friends and family, his career getting ruined, and his own alcoholism all traces back to Bojack. The show really makes it hard to root for a character like him due to his actions. In fact, one episode practically points out how it’s wrong to root for someone like him. And you shouldn’t. He’s an awful individual, and no one in their right mind would feel any remorse for him. But you do. Because unlike other a-hole characters in adult animation, Bojack actually wants to change and tries hard to be better. But every time it looks like he takes a step forward, he always ends up taking ten steps back. And again, it’s absolutely his own fault. Because even though he’s the protagonist, he’s still the show’s antagonist. And it amazes me how well this series proves that your worst enemy is yourself.

And I know that sounds depressing, but here’s the thing: Depressing is what the show is. It will make you feel depressed and empty inside with nearly every episode. How? By telling the audience things they don’t want to hear but need to hear. Things such as how people don’t change. How there’s always going to be a voice in your head telling you that you’re an awful piece of s**t, and it won’t go away. How in life, there are no happy endings. And that last one is something that came straight out of the horse’s mouth. Understandably so, not everyone is going to be into a series telling them things such as this. In fact, that’s the main reason why Bojack Horseman is #3 and not #1.

I can’t, in good conscience, recommend it to just anybody. Sure, I can watch it with little to no problems because I’m in a comfortable place, both spiritually and mentally. But some people aren’t, and the last thing they need is a constant reminder of how awful their lives are. Call it selfish, but I call it giving a break to those who need it.

Bojack Horseman isn’t like anything else you’ll find on TV. It has some of the best drama and storytelling I have ever seen, despite minor hiccups I may have with it. Not everyone will be into it, and I’ll always understand why, but I hope those who do will have a great viewing experience. Because I’m not Horsin’ Around when I say that this show is incredible.

(Side note: Half the characters are anthropomorphic animals and the other half are actual human beings. I know it’s weird that I didn’t mention it, but the show rarely does, so I felt it wasn’t too important)

#top 20 of 2010s #bojack horseman #what i thought about

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culturedsociety · 3 years

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Culture Talks with Carolyn Blackmon

Carolyn, in English meaning Joy and Song of Happiness.

Over the last decade she’s been on a journey of healing and transformation. It’s been Incredible to look back and see how beauty does actually flourish through the ashes. What happened in her life; most definitely was birthed out of struggles, hardships, loss, depression, despair, and hopelessness. Looking back at her experiences and being In complete awe because of it. Her faith and belief in God changed when she realized that “the Creator Is ultimately in control and has the ability to take what Is broken and make It brand new.”

Her life verse Is Isaiah 61:1-3 “The spirit of the sovereign Lord Is upon me because the Lord has appointed me to provide for those who grieve, to bestow on them a crown of beauty Instead of ashes, the oil of gladness Instead of mourning, and a garment of praise Instead a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the lord for the display of his splendor.”

In her early twenties, she was extremely lost. Battling a severe eating disorder, alcoholism, depression, and sadness. She worked and pursued many things to distract herself from reality and to try to fill voids. The more destruction that she caused to her body, mind, and spirit’ the harder life became. One day after a big awakening, she had to make the choice and ask herself the hard question “Carolyn Do you want to live?” She knew at that very moment; she was not living, she was just surviving.

She made the bold decision to pack her car and move alone from WI to AZ. The land of the sun became a place of healing for her. She found yoga there. She began her vegan plant based eating, and learned to nourish her body again after starving it for so long of vital nutrients it needed to thrive. She found joy through volunteering and serving. She found god again and was re-baptized. But most importantly, found her self again.

Reflecting back to Fall of 2015 when she lost her best friend and mother to Cancer. It was as though her entire world and perspective changed about the value and gift that each day offers. She started to travel more and continued doing mission work that her mother supported the few years before she passed. She began seeking more and wanting more lead to healing the parts of her that were still broken.

In 2017, she traveled to Hawaii for her first yoga teacher training; which led her to step into a more passion and purposed filled path. This became a daily mission and allowed her the ability to circulate her gifts more responsibly. Her hope is to bless lives and help others heal, love, grow, and live their best life. To inspire them to live a life that brings an Abundance of joy, fulfillment, and higher purpose.

Take a deep dive into Carolyn’s mind:

RM: What is your Life’s Philosophy? CB: (Philosophy is an overall vision or attitude toward life and the purpose of it. Human activities are limited by time and death). I believe that we were all created in the image of God and we are each placed on Earth with our own individual and unique purpose. We are here to connect with nature, humans, animals, and to enjoy all of what God has created. We are here to not only soak in the beauty and light and spread it to others but to also use the darkness (whether it be our own struggles, lessons learned, trails, pain, suffering, etc) and use it to Glorify God? What does that mean? To use the wisdom gained, lessons learned, and the power of our testimony and story to shine the light of awareness upon all giving birth to Hope and helping others receive the healing power of Forgiveness.

RM: How has that philosophy evolved over the years? CB: Yes. I tell people that there was a line I drew that separated my old life and my new life. My old life included a long season of walking down the wrong path that ultimately was leading me down into hole. When I fell on my knees and surrendered and “woke” up. It hit me that I wasn’t living the life God planned for me. I was doing many things that I do believe helped me grow and get educated and led me to where I am today. I was drowning in depression, shame, low self esteem, and I didn’t practice self love.

Moving to AZ was the acceleration I needed to begin my rebirth process. I began serving others and finding joy in giving back for it made me realize that others had it harder than myself. I had a lot to be grateful for that I took for granted. Fast forward a few more years and I lost my Beloved Mother to Cancer. It made me realize that there is no time to waste. We are not promised tomorrow. We have a responsibility. Going through that loss changed my perspective on life and our time here on Earth.

I felt urgency. I felt my calling knocking on the door. I had to loose to gain so much more. I feel that my philosophy included being a good person, and working for what you want was so general….but over the years it’s evolved and things have been added and my life’s philosophy has gotten so complex. Creation. Calling. Service. Travel. Community. Collaboration. Healing. Purpose Filled Life

RM: How has your upbringing and circle of influence impacted the way you live and think about life today? CB: I grew up in a loving Christian home. My family members on both sides had good morals in their and the way they lived their lives was simple and consistent. I spent a lot of time in the Church. My parents Marketing business taught me so much as a young adult and I really absorbed a lot of it. My Grandpa Bood was my giver of Wisdom.

My circle of influence has really shifted in the last few years to be non-family members. Those that are where I want to be and who are doing what I am doing in their own way with their own talents. My circle of influence has been students, strangers, people I have met on travels, social media, and those that are in my tribe. It’s interesting to see how my relationships have changed and the type of people I have attracted and also been gravitated towards has changed as I have evolved and transformed and grown. My inner work has changed the way I function in relationships and I am still exploring how to have healthy boundaries as one who tends to be naïve, vulnerable, and who pours her heart and soul into everything.

RM: Do you believe that your line of work infects our society with positivity? How so? CB: When I am doing my work as a yoga instructor I try my best to step into the spaces where I am Leading classes and spread good energy that is uplifting and positive but I also know that people arrive on their mat with all different things that they are struggling with and going through and I never want to diminish that. I try to share themes that are relevant and helpful and inspiring because I really want everyone who interacts with me to leave with something that they can take with them. When they gain and grow and are blessed then so am I.

When I nanny and work with kids they give me an abundance of Joy and so I always try to pour back into the parents and thank them for the opportunity to enter into their home and spend time with them. I’ve worked jobs where felt like at the end of the day I was complaining about what I had to deal with or contend with and then I would wake up in a bad mood and that’s really a horrible cycle. I am thankful grateful that I am now an Independent Contractor and get to choose who I work with so that makes it easier but aside from that we all have a choice to make in regards to our attitude!

RM: How do you stay relevant, unique, and true to who you are as a person? CB: Let go of Comparison. It’s interesting because over the years as I became more at rest and confident in who I was and accepting of who God created me to be it made it easier to accept my path which is a lot different than many as well as accept my timeline which was not what I anticipated. I have started to become more of my own person….my tendencies and quirks have come to the surface unapologetically. Yes I am still Single…Yes I get excited over the Big Bowl Of Greens I eat everyday. My music selection changes drastically with my Mood. I could care less about TV and Material items….and I could go on and on.

The morning ritual I do sets the tone for my day. I tap into a passage or quote and scripture that I need to tell myself it’s like a treasure hunt and I get my coffee fix and take the time I need for myself and that way I’m more grounded and not shaken up or swayed or torn up by whatever may come at me and I feel that has given me the opportunity to respond better and hold my ground and keep healthy boundaries. I use to operate on not enough sleep and being stressed and hurried and then I would cave in to many things that ultimately didn’t serve myself or others well.

RM: Do you believe that the work you do everyday is aligned with your calling and higher purpose? CB: Absolutely and I want more and I am committed to continue to learn and grow and gain a deeper understanding and have more knowledge in the realm of yoga. The more spaces and places I enter and the more people that I connect and collaborate with the more lives I can touch and the more inspired I will be. This last year I started to share my content on a podcast and that was something I never imagined I would do and for a girl that use to be incredibly shy I never thought I would be on the stages I am on. It blows my mind and I am soooo appreciative.

What practices do you implement to stay grounded and divinely connected to self? CB: Guided Meditation. Yoga Nidra. Yoga. Nature. Travel. Writing. Music. Sharing wisdom with the world. Dancing. Music. Balance Healthy Clean Eating. Sharing Feelings and openly communicating with my support system. Spending a lot of time alone, while remaining connected with others.

Connect with Carolyn: Facebook Instagram

Collaboratively Written by: Carolyn Blackmon and Rebecca Muñoz

Grow this Channel & Circulate the energy of LOVE by donating: Paypal Cash app Venmo

#podcast #veganism #freedom #lifestyle #conversation #nomad #alignment #humanitarian #goodhumans #faith #mindset #empower #womeninspire

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years

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ckerouac replied to your post

“what is your favorite episode from your least favorite season of glee?...”

Ok I love this question, but 1, this is cooper Anderson erasure and 2, I think S8 is way less trash than you do lol

I know - I did think about Cooper - and Big Brother is definitely a highlight, but as whole episodes, I like the other two more :(

Okay - let’s break down season 8 and see how bad (or alright) it really is! I’d love to hear your opinions on it, RB! (Clearly this is my life now)

The List - Robert splits the staff in half on some random list that he made. I think it’s a pretty decent episode, which reintroduces the characters pretty well. Plus, we get some great Pam stuff, so I’m okay with that.

The Incentive - Andy has to motivate the office. Another episode which isn’t that bad, despite being a plot line already done by Michael Scott.

Lotto - The warehouse wins the lotto, and Darryl has to rethink his life choices. There’s some good Darryl development in here, and Andy isn’t that bad as a manager - but he’s not great, and it does feel like they keep trying to give Andy plots originally for Michael Scott, which doesn’t help.

Garden Party - This is the first episode that starts to bug me. Andy’s obsessive need to impress Robert as well as his parents is incredibly irritating. However, this episode does get a few points for having a fun Dwight/Jim subplot.

Spooked - This one is... interesting? Robert asks everyone about their fears and laces it all together for a bizarre scary story. It’s strange, but definitely watchable.

Doomsday - Dwight creates a doomsday device! I really wish they had gone more with the tension of not screwing things up, but it’s more about getting Dwight to turn it off. Not a bad episode despite not being what I initially thought it’d be. And better on rewatch.

Pam’s Replacement - Pam’s pregnant and worried about Jim being interested in her replacement. Shenanigans ensue -- favorite one!

Gettysburg - I think this episode is boring more than anything. Andy gets half the group to go to Gettysburg for a motivational trip. Not only is a questionable Michael Scott plotline, they already kind of did this during The Incentive. There’s a fun side plot involving Schrute Farms, however it’s not balanced out by the stupid side plot of Robert thinking Kevin is the next big genius. (Also Pam leaves because Jenna Fischer went on maternity leave, and that might be a reason I think these episodes get worse for a while.)

Mrs. California - This episode is where I think the season starts to turn really not good. Robert’s wife comes into the office -- he wants Andy to hire here but not hire her. It’s so dumb - especially when his wife seems totally normal. The mind games seem stupid, and make Robert seem insane instead of mysteriously clever - which seemed to be what they originally going for. Meanwhile, Dwight has the dumbest side plot about starting a gym -- which makes it clear the writers seemed to be running out of ideas.

Christmas Wishes - The Christmas episodes aren’t usually that bad, and this one isn’t. There’s a little too much drunk Erin getting weird about Andy and his girlfriend, but it’s watchable. And there’s some fun Dwight/Jim stuff going on throughout.

Trivia - This is an episode I’m disappointed isn’t more interesting than it sounds. The gang goes to Oscar’s gay bar for trivia night. It’s another watchable one - but there’s so much more they could have done with it.

Pool Party - This episode is fuckin’ weird. Everyone goes to Robert’s weird house for a pool party and everyone is just... weird during it. Except Jim, who just wants to leave. I don’t really like it cause it focuses way too hard on Dwight, Erin, and Robert, and it’s not necessarily weird in a good way since half of them don’t feel in character.

Jury Duty - This one is, fine, I suppose. Jim tries to make it up to the office for being gone for a week, and Dwight deals with Angela having her baby. I’m kinda annoyed at this point that the writers no longer take Jim very seriously, and he’s consistently written as a dumbass, and the Angela/Senator thing would be better if it didn’t drag on and on and on, but at least this one doesn’t focus too much on Robert/Andy/Erin shit.

Special Project - This one kicks off the Florida arc, which is...idk, maybe a step up from the rest of the season? This episode is pretty good as it sorts out who is going and who is staying, and Pam’s back!

Tallahassee - The first episode actually in Florida. I’m meh about it. Dwight gets really sick, and there’s some gross stuff going on there. And we get the intro to Nelly, whom I find frustrating during her tenure in season 8 (she’s fine in season 9), and Todd Packer’s around again, which always annoys me. The Scranton stuff is fine - as Andy is receptionist for a day.

After Hours - This one is mostly fine. I love the plot line where Jim has to keep away from Cathy and uses Dwight to help him out. The rest of it is meh as a lot of it is Nelly and Todd Packer being weird together, Ryan hitting on Erin, and a lot of Darryl and Val drama that isn’t as interesting as it could be.

Test the Store - The Florida story is pretty good where the store down there opens, and there’s some interesting things going on. But I hate the subplot about Andy and Pam being bullied by 12yo girls. HATE IT

Last Day in Florida - This one is, idk, another meh-ish one? Jim is trying to stop Dwight getting fired, and while I love the dynamic, maybe not one of their better story lines. Meanwhile Toby and Darryl are selling girl scout cookies, and it’s incredibly boring. Also, Erin decides to stay in Florida to help an elderly woman - and this kicks off the WORST run in the show. I’d rather watch Scott’s Tots again than the next three episodes...

Get the Girl - I HATE THIS EPISODE. Andy goes back to get Erin -- and ends up staying with the elderly woman Erin’s with to woo her back. It’s so cringy, and both Andy and Erin seem like dumber and more annoying than they usually are. Meanwhile - while Andy’s gone, Nellie just comes and takes over Andy’s job. And as much as I hate Andy and Erin at the moment, I hate that his job is just given to Nellie because she decides to sit in the manager’s office. It’s so dumb. Every part of this episode is dumb and it probably is the worst episode in the series.

Welcome Party - Continuing the terrible plot lines of season 8, now that Andy and Erin are back together - they have to go dumb Andy’s not at all developed girlfriend while she’s at a family gathering. It’s so, so terrible and awful. And makes Andy and Erin seem like the worst people. This seems far worse than anything Michael Scott ever did. Meanwhile, Dwight and Jim are forced to throw a party for Nellie - which is at least watchable, but Nellie is still fairly annoying at this point, too.

Angry Andy - The Andy and Nellie plot lines come to a head, which you know just by the description isn’t going to go well. Andy gets angry and terrible, Nellie is still insufferable, and Robert is no longer making any sense at all. The climax of these stupid episodes is just as bad as the rest of it. The only redeeming factor of this episode is the subplot involving Kelly choosing between Ryan and an actual decent guy, and everyone helping Kelly try to move on from Ryan.

Fundraiser - While this episode is at least better than the past three, I find it mostly boring. The office goes to a silent auction - yay(?) No, it’s boring. Andy spends the whole time plotting revenge against Robert for firing him. Dwight seems uncharacteristically stupid about the auction. And Darryl teaches Nellie how to eat a taco (yes that is a plot line) and Angela’s husband hits on Oscar.

Turf War - This episode is probably the first fully good episode since Special Project? Robert’s going crazy, and closing down branches, so Dwight and Jim go against other branches to steal clients. It’s nice to see Dwight and Jim work together. Pam gets to know Nellie - and Nellie’s at least tolerable in the episode?

Free Family Portrait Studio - Considering that most of the season is rough, this one isn’t bad, though probably one of the weakest season finales. Dwight schemes to figure out if he’s the father of Angela’s baby - and we’re left on that cliffhanger. Meanwhile, David Wallace is back as CEO, and gives Andy his job back, and while it’s nice that Robert is leaving (and Sabre is going away), the writing for the show is on the wall.

So, looking at this list and thinking about it. The biggest issue is that there’s so much Andy and so much Erin and so much of their terrible romance that it grows tiresome really fast. Meanwhile, Robert California is a bizarre addition that doesn’t quite fit. Nor does Nellie, whom it’s obvious the writers like, but aren’t sure how to use her well. Meanwhile, Dwight, Jim, and Pam don’t feel very present nor do any of them have many memorable plot lines, and it doesn’t help that the writers seem to be stuck in dummy-Jim mode, as well as Pam just not being there for half the season.

And... there we go, too much time spent on season 8.

#ckerouac #the office

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