#it’s incredible to see how many ppl go to war over a white guy
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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .
if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation
Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh
this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.
Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries
i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho
speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible
tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.
Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏
how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???
'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??
about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.
you are the only funny person on this hellsite
how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.
Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)
check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)
dick grayson but he's nicki minaj
his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......
Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol
you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link
...
why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.
Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery
ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.
i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD
THANK YOU
bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.
people tend to do it in the bathtub.
WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns
i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think
lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.
if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk
i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.
saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3
literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.
I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.
fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)
It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece
OH my god dude lmao
there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more
it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )
i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)
shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.
Wait, hear me out
Bernothy @redlightofdawn
great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname
Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?
Wait no, I regret sending that ask
these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.
crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-
WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY
Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol
she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.
Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god
lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.
Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like
send to me or lose a toe
🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋
thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/
⬆️
This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.
Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow
fanksss also lmao.
That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but
There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?
oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.
"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure
yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.
I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!
haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.
Doot doot!
noot noot
I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me
lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.
sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"
lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing
(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”
yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.
so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side
i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’
ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.
wow. the IMPACT.
Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝
this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.
Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.
May I ask where your username originates from?
yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.
yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim
no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)
How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited
fenomenal next question.
Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that
(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)
i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts
You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel
you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.
Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main
he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.
Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.
lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy
stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
oh yes it is my darling.
did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily
no he did it bc fuck the french.
im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist
okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.
your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue
i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.
suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩
sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.
Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit
yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW
Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics
clark reads smut confirmeeed
NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector
that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.
One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy
literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.
superfam and batfam associations??
-batman and superman
-dick/barabara and supergirl?
-conner and tim
-jon and damian
pls enlighten me I am confused
nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl
I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)
sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.
good human what are your pronouns?
wouldn’t you like to know?
I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes
everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont
don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily
dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants
Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.
damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo
Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨
stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!
All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet
batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.
I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this
vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.
seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go
emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet
People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.
dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME
dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet
all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise
bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves
thoughts on teen titans and young justice
haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!
ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them
log off tumblr?
Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc
huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.
I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something
fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.
lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh
unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right
why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf
idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)
There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.
all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you
is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa
no. find her as owa owa as you want.
aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:
1. tim
2. Steph
3. dick
4. Duke
5. the rest
you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED
oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs
i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.
dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.
super random but
jason 🤝 damian
old english
lmao fair enough.
tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.
yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.
I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.
i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.
so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?
no. dunkin donuts all the way
One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker
now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao
my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context
bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.
crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown
SO CRAZY HUH?
batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink
absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.
unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator
dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.
When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution
bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.
#literally if you got through this i just respect you#this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask#i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else#ask#bataranswers#this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy#also sidenote#does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb#who cares tho latin is a dead language#big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence#here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram
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i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)
Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here)
When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.
Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ.
“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.
(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)
“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”
“You said that six seasons ago.”
Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”
“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.
Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.
(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)
“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”
A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.
Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)
Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.
Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.
“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”
“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.
“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”
“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.
“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”
Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.
“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”
“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.
“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.
Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.
Childe
12:35
ur a horrible influence on tonia
Childe
12:35
and whos this ZHONGLI
Childe
12:35
also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os
Twin 1
12:37
a normal person would say hi
Twin 1
12:37
also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school
Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?
Childe
12:38
thats not very convincing
Childe
12:38
also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares
Twin 1
12:39
isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12
Childe
12:42
thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”
Twin 1
12:42
well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk
Childe
12:42
whats asmr
Childe
12:43
asking for my sister btw
Twin 1
12:44
A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.
Childe
12:45
wtf?
Twin 1
12:45
people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????
Childe
12:45
idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos
Twin 1
12:47
… makes sense
Twin 1
12:47
check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type
Childe
12:48
i thought we were talking about my sister????
Twin 1
12:50
[message screenshots.jpg]
Twin 1
12:50
ya she told me everything
Twin 1
12:50
have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA
Childe
12:51
hope he does it
He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)
It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)
When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.
The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week. He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.
Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.
Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.
“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”
Holy shit.
For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)
His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.
Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”
This time is different though.
Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.
And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.
The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)
Oh God — oh fuck.
“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.
“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)
“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)
“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”
“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”
“Huh?”
The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?
“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.”
Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.
“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.
“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”
“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”
“Yeah.”
Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.
Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.
#Genshin Impact#Childe/Zhongli#Childe & Tonia#Childe & Lumine#asmr fic p1#fuck ao3 (holds head in hands)#asmr fic
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Fandom racism anon here and yeah absolutely (I didn't realise I had anon on lol)
Because while LOTR has problems within its themes (ie the orcs can be seen as to be coded as people of colour, especially since they ride elephants) the explicit message of the book is evil bad
Because the only people who work for sauron are evil. There are no morally grey people, they aren't misguided or tricked they just are evil and want to take over the world
And yeah I totally agree that this is more of a literal take on like empirical war (is that the word) and that makes total sense considering Tolkiens history
Whereas I would say that the allegories in shaowhunters is way more based on racial conflict within a country itself especially slavery, I can't remember if this is show Canon but is it that they have the warlock tropheys? I remember that in the books magnus talks about shadowhunters hanging warlock marks on their walls? (sorry to bring the books up)
Idk it's very hollow to me, unlike with LOTR though it's a different allegory it's totally irritating to show many of these supremecists as morally misled. LOTR says bad guys are bad guys, shadowhunters says well yeah they did follow a guy which thinks that downworlders are subhuman and should be eradicated but they just made a mistake
I want to compare this to tfatws which while it isn't really fantasy I just feel like it shows how the priorities of the writer can impact the message of the show so powerfully (I know u aren't up to date so I'm gonna be pretty vague)
There's a scene in tfatws where the new white perfect captain America does something bad and doesn't pay for the consequences - done to comment on white privelege and how America condones white supremacy and how Sam is in comparison to that
Mayrse and Robert revealed to be part of the circle! And paid no consequences Shock horror my parents were the bad guys (even rho they were either implicitly or explicitly extremely racist the entire time) also I haven't finished the seires but do the lightwoods ever try to get their parents to face the consequences?)
Only one actual really critiques the situation and the reality behind it whereas the other one is just to centre the white characters once again and present them in a further sympathetic light
AND ANOTHER THING! I was mostly talking about show Canon here and I'm sorry to bring up the books but I literally can't believe I hadn't picked up in this before.
So like downworlders = people of colour, Simon is a vampire so is coded as a person of colour. However in the books in the last one he stops being a vampire and becomes a shadowhunters instead, coincidentally that's also when he starts dating Izzy HOW IS THIS ABLE TO HAPPEN!!????
I mean I know cassandra clare is lazy right? The original seires is by far the worst of all her writings but come ON!!!!! By the allegory has he become the white man!????? These books made no fuckin sense when I read them at 15 and they make no sense now I'm digressing anyways
I don't know man I wrote this ask because I was trying to find some fantasy book recommendations on booktube and SO MANY of them were about slavery or general ly extrême préjudice with à White protagonist to save this 'poor souls'.
Also I was watching guardians of the galexy the other day and realised nearly every movie set in space is just bigger stakes imperialism - planets instead of countries. Literally star wars, star trek, guardians of the galexy 2, avengers infinity war - all are facing genocidal imperialistic villains without actually paying much, if any attention to those effected
Just writing this ask made me exhausted I'm so tired of lazy writing and exploiting other people's struggle. I'm white and I'm trying to be more critical about the movies, shows and books I watch and read but let me know if I said something off here❤️❤️ you gotta get up to date with tfatws man, Sambucky nation is THRIVING!!!!
i'm not sure i agree that the whole "the evil people are evil" thing is a good thing, because i feel like more often than not making the bad characters just like... unidimensionally evil just means that the reader will be like "lol i could NEVER be that guy" and when it comes to racism that is a dangerous road to take because white people already believe that racism is something that Only The Most Evil People, Ergo, Not Me, Can Do, which makes discussions of stuff like subconscious racial bias and active antiracist work become more difficult because people don't believe they CAN be racist unless they're like, Lord Voldemort
which is not to say that racism should be treated as morally ambiguous, just that the workings of racism should be represented as something that is not done only by the Most Hardcore And Evil, but rather as a part of a system of oppression that affects the way everyone sees the world and interacts with it and lives in it
yes the warlock trophies are mentioned in the show, albeit very quickly (there is a circle member who tells magnus that his cat eyes will make "a nice addition to his collection" and then it's never mentioned again because this is sh and we love using racism for shock value but then not actually treating it as a serious plot point or something that affects oppressed ppl). and you are absolutely right, shadowhunters (and hp, and most fantasy books) has genocide as its core conflict and treats it, like you said, in a very hollow way, treating racism as both not a big deal and not something that is part of a system of oppression, but really the actions of a few Very Bad People. it's almost impressive how they manage to do both at the same time tbh
i think you hit the nail right on the head with this comment, actually. for most of these works, racism is SHOCK VALUE. it's just like "lol isn't it bad that this bad guy wants to kill a gazillion people just because they are muggles? now that is fucked up" but it's not actually an issue. in fact, when this guy is defeated, the whole problem is over! racism is not something that is embedded into that world, it's not a systemic issue, it's not even actually part of what drives the plot. the things that led to this person not only existing but rising to power and gathering enough followers to be a real threat to the whole world are never mentioned. it's like racists are born out of thin air, which is dangerously close to implying that racism is just a natural part of life, tbh
anyway my point is, it is never supposed to be questioned, it is never part of a deeper plot or story, its implications are barely addressed except for a few fleeting comments them and there; so, it's not a critique, it's shock value, even though it is frequently disguised as a critique (which is always empty and shallow anyway. like what is the REAL critique in works like hp or sh/tsc other than "genocide is bad"? wow such a groundbreaking take evelyn)
about simon and the book thing: i actually knew about this and the weird thing about this is that, like... simon is jewish, and he's implied to be ashkenazi (calls his grandma bubbe which is yiddish, which is a language spoken by the ashkenazi ppl), and it seems like cc is always toeing the line between him being accepted by shadowhunters and then not accepted by them, which sounds a lot like antisemitic tropes and history of swinging between (ashkenazi) jewish ppl being seen as the model minority myth and thus used as an example by white christians, and being hated and persecuted. i'm not super qualified to talk about this since i'm not jewish and i'm still learning about/unlearning antisemitism and its tropes, and i don't really have a fully formed thought on that, tbh; it just reminds me of the whole "model minority" swinging, where one second simon is part of the majority, the other he's not, but always he is supposed to give up a part of himself and his identity in other to be "assimilated" by shadowhunter culture. this article (link) covers a book on jewish people and assimilationism into USan culture, this article (link) covers british jews' relationship with being considered an ethnic group, and this article (link) talks a bit about the model minority myth from the perspective of an asian jewish woman
it just really calls to my attention that cc chose to make her ashkenazi jewish character start off as a downworlder and then become a shadowhunter. i don't think she made that decision as a conscious nod to this history, because it would require being informed on antisemitism lol but it's incredible how you can always see bigoted stereotypes shining through her narrative choices completely by accident. it just really shows how ingrained it is in our collective minds and culture
and anyway, making a character go from the oppressed group to just suddenly become the oppressor is just. wtf. not how oppression works, but most of all, really disrespectful, especially because she clearly treats it as an "upgrade"/"glowup" that earns him the Love Of His Life
also, out of curiosity, are you french? it seems like your autocorrect changed a few words and i'm pretty sure extrême and préjudice are the french versions of these words, and since u said ur white, that's where my money would be lol
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OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW
this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3
anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts
so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.
so anyway.
pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic
the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction
also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts
also this motherfucker?
literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it
sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:
also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:
also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose
ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and
i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:
however
omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?
and now. sweetheart
the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible
sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)
i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho
LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE
I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;
also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS
i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL
anyway
when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP
i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero
OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB
also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO
hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N
this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,
HERO FUCKS
sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but
literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!
is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out
anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK
also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....
um but anyway,
i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey
also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE
ah but alas
BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK
im so worried about basil ):
and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts
and then...the forgotten library part
i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god
these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW
i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god
MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW
GOD
okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u
but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo
LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him
ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel
but anyway....
aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all
ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey
speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit
ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK
THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK
OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH
baby has acquired baby
kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them
i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching
ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD
THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST
oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain
the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry
MMMM BUT. HERO!!!
I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH
god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK
the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted
AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY
GOD
oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM
goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS
also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...
god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob
However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!
ohh my god this GAME
so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh
anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one
#cass cries#omori#omori spoilers#more like cass goes CRAZY this is so long#also id dint proof read this sorry </3
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Okay so Fire Emblem anon here!! Here's a Kinda Super Long Bc I Got Carried Away description of a few Fire Emblem games, plus some characters that seem like they hit tropes you like!
The good news is that there's not a super huge overarching timeline, there's several smaller timelines that are seperate from one another except for the crossover games. I'm gonna go with describing the newer ones that you're most likely to be able to get your hands on and play; a lot of people complain that they lean into some anime-tropey stuff and are too easy, but tbh, that's a perk just as often as it isn't. Basically, it's Game of Thrones, but rated T and with more cute girls and old men who are friendly instead of creepy.
Tbh, it's a turn-based strategy game with visual novel elements for characterization, if strategy games aren't your thing and you're just interested in the characters, watching the support conversations on Youtube might be more your thing. All the characterization, none of the resetting the same goshdang level thirty times. Anyways, description of the games in passing, including a brief description of the plot concept, pros and cons, trigger warnings, and some characters you might be interested in if you're just looking up characters.
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Awakening: for the 3DS. Follows Robin, an amnesiac mage, after they're found in a field by a band of knights called the Shepherds. Involves the undead, a twink in a mask, timey-wimey shenangians, and the usual cast of oddballs you'd expect from a Fire Emblem game.
Pros of Awakening: customizable player character, intro of Casual mode (turns off permadeath) and the Pair Up system, which lets you put characters together for shipping reasons strategy and stat boosts. Also doubles as a shipping simulator, since you can pair off characters and meet their later in the game due to said timey-wimey shenangians.
Cons of Awakening: there are some....very concerning combos of names/skin tones/plot relevance for certain characters, so go in with a warning about implicit racism. Also if you like strategy games, this game is relatively easy to break and make "too easy," but tbh that's what Lunatic Mode (the Ultra Unfair Hard Mode) is for.
Trigger warnings across the main plot: underhanded politics, attempted assassinations, martyrdom, an optional character is implied to stalk Robin but idk how to tag that, identity crises, conflicts within a family, character who isn't you looks like you, backstory child abuse, an optional character is a bad portrayal of DID if you squint?
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Fates: is actually a group name for two games set in the same universe, and a DLC bonus story: Birthright, Conquest, and Revelations. All for the 3DS. All three games star Corrin, a pacifist raised in seclusion in the kingdom of Nohr. Each game reflects a different path Corrin can take in navigating the war between the nations of Nohr and Hoshido: Birthright has them stand with Hoshido, Conquest with Nohr, and Revelations has them strike out (nearly) alone. Each path has a completely different storyline, cast of characters, and difficulty curve.
Pros of Fates: honestly, the characters here cater the most to the avid pro-shipper and multi-shipper. I just love this cast. Both Nohr and Hoshido have four members of the royal family you can play and get to know, each of those royal family members has two retainers who are various levels of dedicated and/or unhinged, and the cast just widens and widens. Also a character customization and shipping simulator point for the same reasons Awakening gets it. Also, canon fujoshi rights (there's a character with a skill called Daydream, which boosts her stats when two male characters are paired up near her. one of us, one of us). Also the first game with canon queer characters: both Rhajat and Niles are bi.
Cons of Fates: unfortunately, the writing is kinda rushed or badly translated in some places. Also *shakes IntSys* my lore! Give me more lore! Also, iirc, you could get both physical games in a bundle for a discount when they came out, but not anymore, so it's sorta like Pokemon with version exclusives. Which is less fun, since you can't directly trade characters. Also the fandom for this game is RIFE with discourse, which is kinda sad bc I just wanna talk my ships with ppl sjxhdjdn
Trigger warnings for Fates: child abuse might as well be Nohr's middle name, in-universe racism (since Hoshido is p obviously Japan-inspired, and a lot of Nohrians are rancid to Hoshidans), kidnapping, on-screen murder, lots of fighting your loved ones (on both main routes, you gotta fight the playable characters from the other side AAA), su-c-de, death of sibling(s) in certain routes, demonic-like possession, there's like six characters people can read as bad mental illness rep, Niles especially is discourse bait for being a kinky (yes that's canon) bi man of color but also he's awesome so die mad antis
*break for space*
Shadows of Valentia: for the 3DS. A remake of Gaiden, the second game in the series. Follows Alm, a farm boy from a small village in Zofia, and Celica, his childhood best friend. Zofia and the nation to its north, Rigel, are two nations ruled by the dragon gods Mila and Duma, respectively. Normally, they're in equilibrium, but Rigel is invading and Mila is missing, prompting Alm and Celica to independently investigate the problem.
Pros of SoV: the most like the old-school Fire Emblem games, but it also has the permadeath-off mode. also the first to be fully voice acted! The art style is gorgeous, and the plot was polished up from the old game--two characters names Berkut and Rinea were added, and they are PEAK OTP the diskhorse can die mad. Also the cast is pretty fun all around, from buddy squad and the older brother/dad figure they adopted along the way to "hello this is my gang of childhood friends, we're gonna kill a god" Also introduces Mila's Turnwheel, which lets you rewind your moves if you realize you goofed big time and screwed yourself over.
Cons of SoV: has the most references to other games, but you won't, like, be lost if you don't get them. You just might have a few interludes of "who tf is Camus/the White Wing Brigade/etc" but it's easy enough to look up on the wiki. Also tbh, the plot kinda drags in the middle, there's some filler battles to try and make it feel more realistic and it feels...weird. Also no custom character, you are Alm and Celica and you will Like It.
Trigger warnings for SoV: you know that thing where a girl character gets killed off for a guy character to angst over? the game starts with a fakeout version of that. also a character slowly goes mad over the course of the plot (but it's really well done imo?), there's some self-sacrifice stuff in there, classism is a major theme, possession/selling your soul™, there's a couple of levels where you're exploring tombs/prisons, I'm sure there's something else but I'm forgetting right now
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Three Houses: on the Switch. The newest game in the series, and the most polished imo? Stars Byleth, a wandering mercenary turned teacher at the Officer's Academy. The Academy, housed in Garreg Mach Monastery, teaches youths from across the land of Fodlan how to be warriors, commanders, and knights. Students are sorted into three houses based on their country of origin: the Black Eagles are from ghe Adrestian Empire, led by the heiress-apparent Edelgard; the Blue Lions are from the kingdom of Faerghus, led by prince Dimitri; and the Golden Deer are from the Leicester Alliance, led by Claude, grandson of the Duke. You choose one of these houses to lead, and then everything quickly goes sour.
Pros of Three Houses: It's such a rich experience! The music is incredible, there's so much lore, and you can wander around the Monastery and hang out with the students to your heart's content. Also, it's four storylines for the price of one, even if they're all relatively similar in the first half. It does a pretty solid job of weaving together its themes into a satisfying narrative that will make you consider everyone involved. Also we got our first bi main lord (Edelgard) and non-white main lord (Claude is mixed race) in one fell swoop! Also, given the setting, it's teacher/student ship heaven.
Cons of Three Houses: just gonna come right out and say it: one of the villainous factions in the game is pretty substantially tied up with some anti-semitic tropes. There's no way to ignore it, it's just bleh, and I'm not gonna send anyone in without that warning. Also, though there's some characters you can persuade to switch sides, or spare, there's no route where there's a happy ending for everyone. Also there are so many people who are fake deep about the themes of the game, so be ready for the worst takes imaginable about your faves. also super trigger heavy, see below.
Trigger warnings: MANY. Garreg Mach and the Church of Seiros are very reminiscent of catholic religious stuff, for anyone with religion triggers, blood in cutscenes, death of a parent, death of a sibling (different characters), major gaslighting vibes in some places, lots of people going unhinged, some white savior™ vibes in places, body horror, creepy ass weaponry, backstory genoc-de (mostly not related to the anti-semitism), blood magic (definitely related to the anti-semitism), in general it goes to a lot more effort than the other games to make you think about what's Actually going on, even if it doesn't always work.
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As for characters you'd like, if you just want to look some characters up, my recommendations based on what I understand about you include:
Awakening: Libra fits 'gnc man of the cloth' so well it's actually a conversation in game: "so what's a woman of the cloth doing here?" "...man, sir, man of the cloth." And Then He Never Gets Misgendered Again. Also Nowi's supports sometimes feel like a jab at antis-- she's a manakete, a person who can transform into a dragon. Manaketes also grow really slowly, as in "middle aged looking manaketes are like 1000 years old," so she's got major baby face and copes with being mistaken for a teenager by making jokes. Also Gregor, who she first appears with, is pretty fun--older mercenary with a thick accent who is like 80% here for a good time. Also Walhart, who's a villain but got some content added as DLC.
Fates: any interactions between Corrin, Leo, and/or Camilla are probably right up your alley--Camilla is obsessively protective over her siblings in a way that's Very Definitely Platonic™, and Leo also canonically has a crush on her in something that was cut in the English release. Also Gunther--once upon a time he was your classic knight in shining armor, now he's semi-retired, Corrin's personal guard, and covered in scars (and his voice is gorgeous too)
Echoes: my biased answer is to listen to every single line Ian Sinclair read for Berkut because he absolutely did NOT have to go that hard. My actual answer is to point you in the direction of the pegasus sisters Catria, Palla and Est, or maybe the older gentleman who's the head of the Priory, I forgot his name oops abbdbd. Also Clive is a devoted husband to one Mathilda, who looks just like an older version of his sister Clair 🤔
Three Houses: knowing you, you'd adore Hanneman--an older professor who's extremely passionate about his work, to the point where he tends to forget personal space and such. Also Seteth, like I mentioned before (join me in simping for him and his gorgeous pecs) and like, honestly, I know ppl make jokes about Alois but he's rlly good. Soft, awkward but he doesn't care, dad jokes everywhere. And also Mercedes, both because she's the biggest sweetheart imaginable and everyone should love her, but also bc she is just walking potential for the kinds of stuff you post on this blog. On one hand, she's the oldest student at the Academy and attached at the hip to one of the youngest, Annette (tho people act like they have a way bigger age gap then they actually do) and on the other hand, she has a long-lost half brother she can encounter (who I will not name for HUGE HUGE spoilers reasons) who she spends the rest of her life with in one of her endings. Heck, he has three possible endings total! Total!
Basically I brought the games up bc I'm used to being on the side of the fandom where everyone shoos anything uncomfortable under the rug, but there's so much material here that's being wasted I SWEAR
If you have any other questions I can send another anon? Your call! Thanks for hearing me out I love ur blog :3
OKAY!!! sorry for answering so late, but this ask was pretty much a BOOK (not that I´m complaining though! thank you so much! ;;u;;)
and from what I read here, I THINK if I´m going off on my first fire emblem adventure, I´ll try and pick up three houses if I get the chance! I have read your trigger warnings (thank you so much! ;u;) and I think I can take it! >:3
again though, I am really, really not a fan of anime and the anime artstyle in general (blergh! XP) so I´m not sure how I´ll cope with that in particular, but then again, an artstyle does not make a game! u3u
AND HANNEMAN SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER TO ME!! I looked him up and OOOF!!! he may not have NEARLY as many wrinkles as I´d like him to have, but the facial hair is definitely a step in the right direction! ;3c
NOW YOU GOT ME INTERESTED!!
LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
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All About Eve 28.3/30
Robin: before we begin, has anyone seen this before? Any strong feelings about it?
Liz: no and no. but it has Marilyn Monroe and I love her
Robin: Until yesterday, the only thing I was aware of was the title; I'm very excited to discover it's a black and white film featuring such great actresses, I'm literally bouncing in excitement at some of these names
Nick Blake: Monroe!
Liz: 3
Robin: 2
Liz: 1
Robin: go!
Nick Blake: ACTIVATE
Liz: Bette Davis!
Robin: When i gave this a test watch yesterday, I got all excited thinking it was going to be a silent movie
Nick Blake: that was a very convincing Robot Wars impression btw
Liz: (no it wasn't)
Robin: before I realised actually my sound was off
Nick Blake: any movie's a silent movie if the sound's off
Robin: BETTE DAVIS YES I am screaming i delight
Nick Blake: My Dinner With Andre, for example
Robin: I know! We could do it silent, just for a laugh
Robin: follow the progression of cinema
Nick Blake: the writer sounds familiar, I may have seen his other stuff
Robin: HOW DARE THEY QUESTION THE PULITZER
Robin: Oh wow, the comedy in this is phenomenal already - "being an actor... it is not important you hear what he says."
Liz: "Award for Distinguished Achievement"
Liz: I like
Nick Blake: these are clearly some Men of Achievement
Robin: "Minor awards are such as for writer and director" YES, THE WRITING IN THIS FILM IS DEFINITELY GOOD
Nick Blake: this man is essential to the theatre. he must be stopped at once!
Robin: "I am critic and commentator. I am essential to the teatre." THE SHADE BEING THROWN ALL OVER
Liz: I would like to take a moment to appreciate Joseph L. Mankiewicz. I already love this film
Nick Blake: good ol' Mankie
Liz: Joe Mankie
Robin: Mankie my bro
Nick Blake: I appreciate Mankie's wits
Nick Blake: who'd a thunk it, an actor quoting Hamlet
Robin: Every second of this, of the narration and of every tiny gesture they do while on screen, is so phenomenal, they've put so much thought into it
Robin: This film already deserves Best Picture
Liz: I think this project may already be over. Best Picture Ever
Nick Blake: coming out of the gate strong like a horse made of celluloid
Nick Blake: it shall never be turned into glue
Robin: like a flammable horse made of celluloid
Liz: all horses are flammable
Nick Blake: all horses are flammable. That's their beauty and their tragedy
Robin: true true
Robin: wow, A+ hivemind you guys!!
Robin: And now, Citizen Kane herself...
Liz: this is why we're getting married
Nick Blake: there are other reasons, but those are secondary
Robin: <3 <3 <3
Robin: It's mainly for the horses
Robin: FREEZEFRAME
Robin: honestly, why did we develop cinema past this point?? It's already the best
Nick Blake: record scratch
Liz: "you're probably wondering how she got here"
Robin: man, I need to watch more black and white pictures
Nick Blake: there are some quality B/W pictures to come. for instance, The Apartment (1960) which is just A++++
Nick Blake: multiple narrators? by golly, this complicates the narrative
Robin: "Where was she? I found myself looking for a girl I'd never spoken to..." GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY
Liz: this is apparently Monroe's breakthrough role so I am PUMPED
Robin: "I've seen you so often, it took every bit of courage I could raise..." GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY
Robin: Is Monroe Margot Channing? I'm bad at recognising ppl in different roles
Nick Blake: it feels odd to me to see Monroe's breakthrough. She's so emblematic of celebrity that it seems bizarre that there was a point she wasn't famous
Liz: Miss Caswell, a minor character who has not appeared yet
Robin: Wow, so Eve has been famous for less than a year?
Robin: Harp box in the corner like a coffin
Nick Blake: "write me one about a nice, normal woman who just shoots her husband" yes, good
Liz: 10/10 would watch
Robin: I have good news for you about the musical 'Chicago'
Liz: shoots the lover, abandons the husband
Nick Blake: Chekhov's Nice Normal Woman. If she's in the play in act 1, she'd better shoot her husband in act 3
Robin: "They're never indoors long enough" Kids these days, playing outside
Nick Blake: Like and share if you remember kids confined to the salon to practice pianoforte like a good boy
Robin: "My good friend and companion" is this Actually Gay? I feel so many good vibes
Liz: all old films are gay, it is a Fact
Robin: I'm surprised to find it post-30s, I guess
Nick Blake: If I may quote Sunset Boulevard "It was gay, alright, but it was about to get REALLY FUCKIN GAY"
Nick Blake: I think I paraphrase, but still
Robin: San Francisco, yes, okay, confirmed
Robin: The way the babble overlapped just then, and then Eve being interrupted, and then dead silence... wow. That's incredible writing
Liz: I'm enjoying the classic breathy-yet-stilted exposition
Liz: lean forward at the end of every sentence to emphasise the banality
Robin: Mmm yeah, makes it old-timey even for the time. Turns this into a proper fairytale about the magic of the stage for baby Eve
Nick Blake: One night, Margo Channing came to play and then BAM gay thoughts
Liz: "there were theatres is San Francisco" WHAAAAAA?
Robin: I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to turn this into me repeating GAY over and over, but:
- offscreen husband
- she goes to SF to meet him
- husband fridged
- instead she found the woman of her dreams who brought light back into her life
Robin: BIRDIE IS A BUTCH LESBIAN, AS ALL VAUDEVILLIANS ARE
Nick Blake: I'm sorry if I upset you, it's just how dang butch I am
Robin: GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Liz: "what are you two, lovers?" probably
Nick Blake: "I love a psychotic" - superwholock blogger confirmed
Robin: "What are you two, lovers?" "Only in some ways." THIS MOVIE DELIVERS
Nick Blake: Only in the homosexual fashion
Nick Blake: There are probably other themes. theatre, possibly?
Liz: the theme is Eve, obviously
Liz: look at the title
Nick Blake: I thought it was All About Eaves, the Samwise Gamgee story
Robin: I really do like the Citizen Kane aspect, it looks like it really is going to be vignettes from different people about her maybe
Liz: you say Citizen Kane, I say that one scene from Mean Girls
Liz: "one time, Eve punched me in the face"
Nick Blake: Donald Duck, Ibsen and the Lone Ranger... we didn't start the fire
Robin: Loving this scene about theatre being flea circuses and cartoons too; NB, your 'non-gay theme' could be about 'what is theatre'
Robin: is it writers or is it the essential critic. broadway or television.
Robin: Her one earring is in the gay ear #confirmed
Liz: Bette Davis cannot throw, apparently
Robin: Wait, the straight ear. Oops. I take it back.
Liz: "throw that letter away" drops it but behind her head
Nick Blake: it's half about art, half about complete fascination with an individual; the impersonal and the deeply personal
Nick Blake: "Everybody can't be Gregory Peck" the attitude of a QUITTER
Robin: I like the Gregory Peck reference - I love that he's real in this fictional universe
Liz: Gregory Peck is the universal constant
Nick Blake: so Roman Holiday exists in this universe. It's a good universe.
Robin: Eve, averting her eyes from this outrageous display of heterosexuality
Robin: Wow, they're already moving in together
Nick Blake: "THE HONEYMOON WAS ON"
Robin: Hello, and welcome to our new blog 'Every Film Is Gay'
Nick Blake: If it weren't for the Hays Code, who knows how this film could have been? It's really inviting this reading in a way I wasn't expecting.
Liz: BURN THE HAYS CODE
Robin: You are going to be so happy when we reach Wings in ten years
Nick Blake: black and white is the warmest colour
Liz: quality brisk undressing there
Liz: oh no...THE UNIONS
Nick Blake: gosh darn them unions
Robin: Wardrobe mistress...
Robin: unions...
Nick Blake: a beat poem by robin
Robin: aaaw, Eve...
Nick Blake: oh no, calling a man
Robin: Do either of you know when this film is set? I suppose contemporary, if Roman Holiday exists
Nick Blake: nyet
Liz: I think the start is contemporary (read 1950)
Liz: oh ok it's based on a 1946 short story so I guess mid 40s
Nick Blake: Eve I feel may not be a good person
Robin: Mmm, if the honeymoon period is coming to a close...
Robin: I wonder how much of this is also about age - the ageing star versus the young, perfect Eve
Liz: maybe this is why Margo looked grumpy at the beginning
Robin: "a lifetime is a season; and a season, a lifetime"
Robin: much in the same way Margot is so rude to Birdie
Nick Blake: imitation is the sincerest form of I HAVE ABSORBED YOUR PHYSICAL FORM
Robin: YES loving that creepiness
Liz: she's literally wearing her old clothes...
Robin: "I'm sure that's very flattering, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it."
Robin: BETTE DAVIS IN A SUIT THOUGH. The only thing I wanted from this film, fulfilled.
Robin: "It seems I can't think of a thing you haven't thought of." OOOOH, THE STUDENT BECOMES THE MASTER.
Liz: Eve is Anne Baxter
Liz: Bette Davis is Margo
Robin: Oops
Nick Blake: same thing
Liz: but Anne Baxter in a suit is also very good
Nick Blake: quality content
Robin: The only way this film could become better is getting these women in some trousers
Liz: ROBIN SUCH INPROPRIETY
Robin: I WANNA SEE SOME LEGS!!!
Robin: Is... is that 'french ventriloquist' joke about cunnilingus? I feel like it could be a very oblique cunnilingus joke
Liz: I googled French ventriloquist and all I found was that Britain's Got Talent dog
Robin: "I'll tell you about looking into the heart of an artichoke some snowy night in front of the fire" is what you say to someone you're about to murder
Robin: no but like... linguistics, and being good with tongues, I mean? And it was also a sex joke definitely
Liz: makes sense
Nick Blake: what is she doing with this man who is quite clearly not a lesbian
Robin: I love how Margo is really being presented as reasonable for picking up on all these things, but it still looks from the outside that she's being a ridiculous diva
Robin: and that Eve is innocent but still predatory, like a cuckoo chick
Nick Blake: that's the perfect analogy
Robin: "What about her fangs?" "She hasn't cut them yet and you know it!" Except she's currently cutting them now, on Margo!
Liz: what's Margo got against milkshakes that bitch
Nick Blake: delicious symbols of innocence
Liz: I'm 22 I want a milkshake
Robin: They're bringing boys to her yard
Nick Blake: tasty tasty childhood symbolism
Liz: but she wants girls, oh no!
Robin: Hmm, more symbolism:
Robin: - Eve taking people's clothes at the start, subservient
- Eve literally wearing Margo's clothes, donning her skin
- And now, taking ppl's coats looks like theft
Liz: It's really ridiculously well done
Liz: MARILYN
Nick Blake: "ok but this time I'm onto something" is the vibe i'm getting off Margo, which is great. It's so frustrating and fascinating
Robin: "What has, or is about to happen?" I'M GONNA MARRY THIS SCREENWRITER
Nick Blake: the first time anyone has ever said that
Robin: Wow, they got a genuine frenchman
Robin: I think I'm correct in saying "in passing" is a sex joke
Liz: has to be
Robin: "You won't bore him, you won't even get a chance to talk!" LOVE YOU, MARILYN
Robin: Margo, holding a cocktail and a cigarette and someone else's lollipop is the symbol of this film
Robin: "Play it again." HEY THERE!
Liz: do you know the story about Marilyn Monroe and pissing?
Robin: No, please tell it
Nick Blake: "I AM DYING HERE ARE MY BURIAL REQUESTS" - Margo with the sad twitter aesthettic
Liz: ok so when she was dating Arthur Miller she went with him to meet his mother, needed the toilet, and turned on the taps to cover the sound
Liz: the mother later said she was a "wonderful girl, but she pisses like a horse"
Robin: YES, I LOVE THAT STORY
Robin: There's something wonderfully meta about a film with an aspiring actress featuring Marilyn Monroe as an aspiring actress
Liz: I'm always suspicious of films about actors etc. but this is top quality
Robin: Old Hollywood was remarkably self aware
Nick Blake: I think films about actors/films/theatre should be rationed. So maybe 2 per director. You need a special permit for fourth wall breaking.
Nick Blake: Mankie's cool, he's got it right. But we need a system.
Robin: I endorse that statement
Liz: I always wondered, what order are the other walls in?
Liz: I'd probably put the back as the first wall but then which?
Robin: left, back, right, fourth?
Nick Blake: they all vie for position. It's a tough gig.
Robin: No, right, back, left, fourth. The door is on the right in all sitcoms.
Liz: that's true actually, I never noticed
Liz: ok that order wins
Robin: 1950 AND BETTE DAVIS IS CALLING OUT HOW ALL FEMALE PROTAGS ARE WAY TOO YOUNG
Robin: BETTE DAVIS, THE HERO WE NEED TODAY
Liz: YES
Liz: "I'll wear rompers and come in rolling a hoop" sass central
Nick Blake: that's my business wear
Robin: Eve is almost vampiric, isn't she? Her youth feels eternal since she too young to worry about age yet, and she is stealing Margo's lifeblood...
Nick Blake: she bite
Nick Blake: oh no
Liz: yeah it's quite interesting how much of the events are incidental to the story they're telling mostly visually
Liz: I think Marilyn might be being set up as a rival too
Robin: Sable//Gable, actors as objects
Nick Blake: "I've listened backstage to people applaud"... I think this is the key line of it
Robin: I really like this scene of two men pontificating on the stairs, and the women not merely absorbing it, but weaponising it?
Robin: Writer and critic talking about how to get ahead, while Marilyn and Eve sharpen their pickaxes and take notes
Robin: OOOOF I LOVE THIS
Nick Blake: it's marvellous just how angry Margo gets
Robin: Margo who came up in vaudeville sounding off against her friend who went to Radcliffe
Robin: Margo, so far the only one Eve has been feeding off, not understanding how no one else can see what's lurkin in the shadows
Robin: I love her
Nick Blake: she's haunted
Robin: Yes!!!
Liz: It's almost Gothic isn't it
Robin: Hitchcockian
Nick Blake: yep, Eve is her gothic double!
Robin: Yes! Eve is the Dorian Grey to her portrait
Liz: tragic heroine. mysterious draining force. double. everyone else ignoring what's happening
Liz: this is a gothic film and I'll fight anyone who denies it
Robin: And I do think she's completely innocent, Eve is, it's just that her youth and her eagerness is by definition a danger
Liz: idk I think the phonecall thing was intentional
Liz: she's trying to find a quick way to the top using Margo as a stepping stone
Nick Blake: This is a tragedy; either the brilliant Margo is exploited by a cunning trickster, or Eve is just inherently vampiric. The tragedy is either Margo's or Eve's
Robin: Love also how all those paintings (of Margo, I think?) are Ye Olde, really puts her as a symbol of the past
Robin: 'Eve is new and unpregnant'; 'I must start wearing a watch, I never have, you know!' Every line gets more and more sinister as the film goes on
Robin: "In TIME she'll be what you are" oof!
Robin: "He listened to his play as if it had been written by someone else..." Eve is stealing the play too! This is incredible!
Liz: oooh she's fighting back!
Liz: I think this confirms my gothic theory. she's fighting back against the enemy and being essentially called paranoid
Robin: Yes yes yes
Robin: Also wonderfully calling out "Hey, don't you think it's odd the way women's ages are represented in fiction?" and being told she doesn't understand and is missing the point
Liz: especially with the repeated referring to Margo as a tool or an instrument
Robin: Bette Davis putting out her cigarette defiantly on the stage is my sexuality
Nick Blake: it's very interesting how the writers and critics are men. They're interpreting and critiquing the actions of the women, putting them into context or twisting them.
Liz: oh god it's about sexism and ageism, not just gay
Robin: yesssss
Nick Blake: "a body with a voice"
Robin: It's terrifying - he's holding her down like a bad psychiatric doctor; and it's a position/framing that could be sexual, except we've never seen them interact sexually on screen, it's only been referenced
Robin: what a film
Robin: The thing is, what the man is saying is true? She is great and talented and at the peak of her career etc
Nick Blake: "I told you how to view things, will you comply woman?"
Robin: but she lives in her real world and is talking about the real truth that she is Too Old
Liz: "I don't like your explanation. Tell me what's happening"
Robin: THE SHOT OF HER CRYING ON A BED, AND ZOOMING OUT TO SHOW IT'S A BED ON A STAGE
Robin: Ooof, the man talking about how Margo knew Eve was her understudy when she came in and acted all shocked, therefore her shock must have been an act - it was an act! she was fighting! how could he not see, not interpret her technique correctly!
Robin: Men.
Nick Blake: Eve doesn't have to do anything, she's just way easier to work with now than Margo who is so angry
Robin: yup
Robin: "What time is it?" "When you asked a minute ago, it was..." Time is so good in this
Nick Blake: mortalityyyyyy
Liz: almost crashing and stranded in the snow? DEATH
Liz: HOW MUCH TIME HAVE WE GOT
Liz: "I detest cheap sentiment" No Margo it's because it's the song from the party isn't it
Robin: Did cigarettes kill you in 1950 or were they still recommended by the Surgeon General? Did they age you, at least?
Robin: Bc I think Margo is the only one we've seen smoking...
Robin: Oooof yeah, I didn't catch that about the song!
Robin: "I want him to love me, not Margo Channing." THIS IS THE BEST FILM EVER
Liz: Apparently the official warning was 1964
Liz: but there were lots of reports before that from the 20s
Robin: Interesting
Liz: so I guess in the 40s it'd be a "maybe you shouldn't. maybe?"
Robin: "Gender is performative" - Bette Davis, 1950
Robin: I love Margo recognising that Eve isn't the problem, it's what Eve symbolises, but that a symbol can be dangerous in and of itself
Liz: oh god there's so much sabotage going on though
Robin: YES
Liz: and this was definitely all the friend's doing
Liz: but was she sabotaging Margo on purpose or just giving Eve a little chance?
Robin: Mmm, that and at the very start - Margo didn't want to meet a fan, but the friend wanted Eve to have a chance
Robin: UMM, I CAN'T TELL THE MEN APART, BUT ISN'T THIS THE ONE WHO IS IN LOVE WITH MARGO
Liz: YES
Robin: EVE NO
Liz: AND EVE KNOWS IT
Robin: EVE MY FEELINGS ABOUT YOU ARE CHANGING
Liz: BILL YOU ARE THE ONLY GUY NOT TO CHEAT WITH THE YOUNGER MODEL IN A FILM AND I SALUTE YOU
Robin: Yeah, but I'm not a huge fan of his reasoning being "I don't like a forward woman"
Robin: it should have been more along the lines of "MARGO AND I ARE TOGETHER"
Liz: well no, but nobody's perfect, and especially not 40s/50s men
Robin: hdu, Casablanca had already come out at this point
Nick Blake: I like Dewitt's turns of phrase
Liz: Rick is an outlier and should not be counted
Robin: Dewitt wants her to leave her bathroom door open a bit, and as a human being I am deeply uncomfortable
Liz: at least she's not actually...going
Robin: "An oasis of civilisation in the desert..." uuuhhhhh
Nick Blake: Eddie Lastname
Robin: OH he's catching her on her lies and that won't be a real theatre/husband
Robin: I thought he was just really bad at knowing things about San Francisco
Liz: implies she shed his name too, which would also be interesting
Robin: oooh yes!!
Liz: since he died in the war...
Nick Blake: he died of LIES
Robin: That adds to the performativity of her being a woman - not an innocent wife and widow, but someone self-driven and playing that up to be alluring even though she already cast him aside
Liz: THIS FILM IS SO GOOD I LOVE YOU JOE MANKY WHEREVER YOU ARE
Robin: //opinions on the film do not reflect my real feelings about human women who change their names
Robin: YES JOE MANKEY THANK YOU
Liz: I like that you spell it like the Pokémon not the adjective
Robin: Pokémon are the only screenwriters I trust
Liz: we are buffering
Robin: I paused at "what are the differences between theatre and civilisation"
Robin: which is wowza
Liz: we're at reading the newspaper "vigour of which they retain but a dim memory"
Robin: Okay, tell me when you get to civilisation!
Nick Blake: eggs
Liz: I'm thinking it might be good it when we do our ratings it's kind of a box quote thing?
Liz: words words words x out of 10
Nick Blake: nice
Robin: Yeah, that sounds good!
Liz: go
Nick Blake: civilisation!
Liz: I love when people smack newspapers in things
Nick Blake: what did the newspaper do
Liz: supported eve
Nick Blake: o no
Robin: Bill called it filth! Bill gets points back!
Liz: oh god
Liz: Eve
Nick Blake: top quality Bill
Liz: the original betrayer
Liz: YOU GUYYYYYS
Robin: EVE THE ORIGINAL BETRAYER!!!!!!!!
Robin: I was thinking all this time "Eve the original woman" but BETRAYER
Nick Blake: woooooah
Robin: Who's the serpent? Fame/theatre, or the friend, or...
Liz: I think the friend
Robin: "Eve would never ask to be in a play like that!" She would never ask...
Liz: Eve seems genuinely quiet and shy at the start, even if her backstory is a lie
Liz: although maybe Eve is the serpent
Liz: tricking the friend in betraying Margo
Robin: Yeah, I'm feeling that way too
Robin: The friend is so interesting - I'm thinking of Lyra in HDM, how she was a betrayer without meaning to be
Liz: Yes so much that
Robin: innocently leading her friend to his death
Robin: It's incredible how the movie is changing my opinions of Eve so effectively, I was completely on her side at the start and now I'm reevaluating my entire life
Robin: "In a cathedral or a ball park or a penny arcade..." He's talking about love the same way he talked about theatre at the start
Robin: I do like Bill
Nick Blake: same thing #makeuthink
Robin: Oooooooooo
Robin: MARGO GONNA GLASS EVE IN THE FACE WITH A CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE IN THE BATHROOM
Robin: I'M LIVING
Liz: god that'd be so good
Liz: the classiest thug
Robin: Karen marching straight past Dewitt without looking. Blood in the air.
Liz: did she just fucking bite a bone or is black and white making veg look like bone?
Robin: I CAN'T BELIEVE BETTE DAVIS JUST BIT A MAN'S DICK OFF
Robin: I think it was celery
Nick Blake: wowsers
Robin: This movie is such #lifegoals
Liz: I think the key is to be Margo but deck Eve early on
Robin: "Don't treat me as if I was the queen mother" - she's repeating what she criticised Margo for saying. Battle lines being drawn.
Robin: Eve's face and makeup is so intent and villainous here - a real change from her in a wet raincoat at the start
Robin: Local Girl Gets Makeover And Turns Evil
Liz: it's a tale as old as time
Liz: song as old as rhyme
Liz: don't trust fucking Eve
Nick Blake: biting off a dick
Robin: And now Eve is drawing the friend back into her fold!
Robin: This is the best chess game I've ever seen
Liz: This isn't chess this is Kal-toh
Nick Blake: reminds me of the TV Hannibal - doesn't have to say what you should do, just quietly manipulates people into saying the thing and doing the thing. no culpability
Robin: "It might have been Margo's fifteen years ago, but it's my part now!" Looking up from below, black dress//white dress, holding her hand, winged eyeliner - it looks absolutely like a deal being made with the devil
Robin: AND NOW THE BLACKMAIL BEGINS
Robin: HOLY SHIT
Liz: mmmm humble pie
Robin: :D
Robin: Shut Up About Eve, the movie
Robin: I love all the references to the title
Robin: They're all master-level
Nick Blake: it was arrested development
Robin: Eve//Evil
Liz: I think I need to see more Mankiewicz
Robin: "It means I've got a life to live, I don't have to play parts I'm too old for." I want to watch this film a thousand times, just to see more of Margo
Nick Blake: I can guess what rating you're going to give it
Robin: You're not allowed to guess, I'm an international man of mystery
Liz: gay out of sassy
Nick Blake: save it for the Austin Powers episode
Robin: Seperate beds - a comment on the relationship, or sustaining the Hays Code?
Robin: EVE IS STEALING YET ANOTHER MAN
Liz: I'd guess relationship
Robin: BREAKING FRIENDSHIPS
Liz: Hays code separate beds tend to be next to each other
Robin: LURKING IN THE SHADOWS
Robin: that's true, that's true!!
Liz: oh that's some quality green screen
Nick Blake: Yes We Are Really Walking Down a Street
Liz: No That's Not My Perfectly Flat Shadow
Nick Blake: that's my butt
Robin: Very good cut though, of them awkwardly "walking into a building" and then having them walking out of an elevator - carries the movement but doesn't make it seem completely false because there has been spacial disconnect
Liz: yeah that was just bad
Nick Blake: I feel like the film started happy and gay, and it's ending sad and straight
Robin: DEWITT IS COMING FOR LOUISA MAY ALCOTT AND HE IS MY ENEMY
Liz: WHO IS LOUISA MAY ALCOTT
Robin: Wrote Little Women and also some sickass trashy scifi about throwing people into volcanos and pirates and stuff
Liz: ah ok cool
Robin: Mainly known for Little Women
Nick Blake: I can imagine being thrown into a volcano, but being thrown into a pirate is altogether beyond me
Liz: like a javelin
Liz: or a dart
Robin: Something wonderful about Eve's convo with Dewitt here - he uses his words as a weapon, and she's doing the same. Like two devils meeting.
Robin: "Killer to killer." "Champion to champion."
Nick Blake: "yes I am a critic therefore i'm going to hell"
Liz: I think killer is appropriate. They can both kill people's careers in different ways
Robin: Yes!!
Nick Blake: "you will belong to me" fucking hell
Robin: "you will belong to me" is a mix of sexism/wedding, and also of the sataic contracts that keep popping up
Robin: UUUH
Robin: DEWITT
Robin: GO FUCK YOURSELF
Liz: good post-slap face though
Nick Blake: All About Gertrude
Liz: Not a great name...
Liz: "Dead Heroes and The Women Who Loved Them"
Nick Blake: "Dead Heroes and the Women Who Loved Them", a paperback by Addison Dewitt
Robin: I read that as "dead horses"
Liz: also that
Nick Blake: Society says neigh, but their hearts say yes
Robin: "desire to love and to be loved" - interesting words from a critic, whose job is cruelty
Liz: I thought it was inability to love and be loved?
Nick Blake: if the critic can possess Eve he can possess theatre
Robin: oh, I must have misheard! That's much better!
Liz: also appropriate mind, but in a smaller way
Liz: oh it's now again
Nick Blake: aaaand we're up to the opening
Nick Blake: I feel like someone's going to die
Liz: there are guns behind her. symbolic?
Robin: The fact her whole story was fake makes it very different, the feeling when she told it how it was like a monologue from a film ten years before
Robin: GOOD EYE FOR CHECKOV'S GUN!!
Liz: I was thinking more like she'll get old eventually and be displaced by the next Eve
Robin: Yessssss
Nick Blake: it feels like her shoutouts are veiled threats
Liz: oh without a doubt
Robin: Fascinating how all the women are uncomfortable with being Eve's friend - and Bill, I suppose, who is an honourary woman by way of being a respectful and caring spouse - and all the men are seduced
Liz: I wouldn't say she seduced Addison
Robin: Mmm yeah, she lost the war on that one
Robin: She tried, but he won
Robin: I'LL BE BACK TO CLAIM IT
Liz: terminator voice
Nick Blake: "If you want me back" - the self-effacing manipulator strikes again
Robin: Interesting too that this is a film about theatre - Eve is leaving Broadway for Hollywood, Marilyn is leaving theatre for TV (which is like film but less classy)
Liz: SICK BURN MARGO
Robin: new overtaking the old
Robin: Eve talking about how the party is for the award and not for her - like Margo was saying in the car
Liz: she won, but she's still ultimately a prop
Nick Blake: thought - was Margo once an Eve?
Robin: I think so? She came up via vaudeville, but it sounds like she did the second act while Birdie - aged, over the hill - did the first act
Nick Blake: she was so angry and upset because she saw the moves that she once tried, and that means it's over
Nick Blake: the cycle continues
Robin: HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO
Liz: HERE WE FUCKING GO
Robin: YEAH!!!!!!!!
Robin: Extremely stalkerish behaviour, but please, it's a compliment!
Liz: It's ok because I made a club about you
Robin: "Of course, they're just movie stars..." but Eve is going to hollywood and will elevate it
Robin: Remember how Eve put Margo's affairs in order? And now here, New Kid is cleaning Eve's carpet even though Eve is so tired and the maid will get it in the morning
Liz: yeah that was quick
Robin: SYMBOLISM OF NEW KID BEING HANDED THE AWARD, HOLY SHIT
Liz: FAKE NAME, ADDISON GETTING INVOLVED
Robin: Eve looks like she's aged ten years since she picked that award up
Liz: trying on the cape like she tried the dress!!!
Robin: Yes!!!!
Robin: amazing mirror placement
Liz: she looks like the evil queen
Nick Blake: it's like a coronation or wedding
Robin: Who is Phoebe? The moon? The moon is also virginity and innocence, much like Eve in the garden
Liz: oh god oh god oh god
Liz: HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHITBALLS BOX QUOTES GO
Nick Blake: A very well crafted film about theatre, obsession, fame, men and women and many other things. Its only drawback is being a tad on the long side.
Nick Blake: 9/10
Liz: A lesson in visual storytelling. 9.3/10
Robin: Absolutely incredible film; I had high hopes and it surpassed them by miles. I want to watch it a million times to soak in every detail. The acting, the WRITING, the cinematography, it was all absolutely phenomenal. I want to write a book about this movie. I feel very bad starting out so high in this grand experiment, but I can't give it anything less than a 10 -- it had so many incredible things that I love and adore and had wonderful, complex heroines and villains, all about excellent women and wonderfully presented. No faults. 10/10
Liz: That's a big box
Robin: shit I don't actually know what a boxquote is. should it be shorter.
Liz: All About Eve: 28.3 out of 30
Robin: Surpassed my highest hopes with its wonderful writing and acting. Incredible and complex female characters. 10/10
Liz: That was so fun!
Robin: Yeah!! I really enjoyed it!!
Robin: One question, to include or not: Do you think this film could be remade/rereleased today? With the same script and everything? It's put together so wonderfully, every line has a purpose
Liz: I honestly don't like remakes as a rule and the stuff I'd change is very minor
Liz: (Also next month is All Quiet on the Western Front, so that'll be fun)
Nick Blake: I fear what would happen to the motivations of characters. Eve would be a rote psychotic character rather than a clever manipulator
Liz: that's true
Liz: a lot of what they do is interesting in part because it was the 40s
Nick Blake: based on a true story
Nick Blake: originated in an anecdote told to Mary Orr by Elisabeth Bergner
Robin: I think my favourite moment in this film, in retrospect, was Eve's life story at the start - bc it felt like a 40s emotional monologue, which must have been a little dated even by 1950, so it would have felt very much like a performance to viewers
Nick Blake: became a short story by Orr which Mankie then went "yeah i'll make this"
Robin: and idk if that would translate to now. It's a perfect film of the time
Robin: ooooooh, interesting!!!!
Nick Blake: there's specifics about the war dead which makes it hard to alter - the fake WW2 dead husband
Liz: idk there's always wars
Robin: Her husband could still have fake died in WWII, it'd just make her Definitely A Vampire
Nick Blake: but the bodycounts are different, each one's on the news
Liz: could update it a bit and say Vietnam
Robin: No one remembers each name though - you'd have to check, like Dewitt did
Liz: or, killed in a terrorist attack
Liz: go full on and say 9/11
Nick Blake: "I was working in a brewery when my husband 9/11ed"
Robin: GOSH
Robin: You know that's an actual thing?
Robin: One of the heads of, I don't remember whether it was 9/11 survivors or if it was widows, but had no connection with 9/11 at all, built a whole false identity around it
Robin: And it would gain instant sympathy
Liz: oh god I saw that
Nick Blake: how you remake it - lean into the contemporary elements. Young woman with tragic backstory goes viral, receives help from an Ellen-type figure. Whole thing was fake and she's trying to usurp her.
Robin: Yeah; it wouldn't be theatre, but something else
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