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#it’s getting emo about tory hours kids
robbyykeene · 3 years
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When Tory inevitably questions or second guesses Kreese, you just know he’s going to throw what he did with her landlord back in her face. And she’s just going to be left broken, sitting with the realization that Kreese never actually cared, that all men are the same, that they all just want to use her for something. And really, isn’t it all her fault anyway for daring to think anyone could ever care about someone like her?
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demolitonlcvers · 5 years
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I found this note on my phone called “My Emo Dreams” and I can’t stop laughing
My Emo Dreams
What is my brain
Ok so I just had a really weird dream that it was Halloween and I was at this "museum" with my parents and my friend Magnolia. We went into the museum and there was a little kids room and we were in there when one kid started chasing the rest of us and we were terrified bc as soon as she touched someone, they turned into an exact replica of her, and so the remaining kids ran and I ended up right in front of a hall of these kids, like ten of them. They saw me and I ran, ending up at this weird playground thingy. Only one of them was still chasing me, and I avoided her like a badass. I found my dad and my uncle at this concert and the people on stage were obviously these clone things. I told my dad and he believed me for some reason. Then again, it's a dream. I went back to the museum to find my mom but couldn't and needed a car, and I saw a group of people in costume. And Brendon Urie was one of them. Which is weird cause I live in Pennsylvania and he lives in Vegas or something? Anyway, I was chasing him like a deranged fangirl or something (which I am tbh), and he tripped over a trash can, and I told him about the clone people. For some reason, he, too, believed me, and I ended up getting a ride from Brendon to get my mom?
What is my brain I mean
But I got to meet Brendon Urie in the dream sooooo...
I had this other dream where I was with Tyler Joseph but I don’t remember it well
Ok so I had another dream this time it was "the Hat Fic" (which I'm never going to read btw) but instead it was this fanfic about Fall Out Boy in which Pete has to kill the other members for some reason
I had another dream where I lived with Dan and Phil and there were unicorns and a girl wearing a Fall Out Boy shirt And I opened the door to the house I lived in with Dan and Phil and they were like "what do you see" and I said "Phan" (even though I don't ship it that much) which freaked them out And then I woke up
I had a dream that I was with a group of killjoys and I had to save the original killjoys and we did and there were people shooting at us but when party poison appeared they were like “oh no it’s party poison” and backed up and then another party poison appeared and we were like “WhO iS tHe ReAl PaRtY pOiSoN??!?” And there were little children and they figured out that the first one was the real one even though his uniform was all messed up but you know the other ones jacket was white and literally said “DeAd pegAsUS” so yeah So we were walking out with party poison and I was like hi party poison and I looked at him and what did I see? THIS KID IN MY GRADE IN A RED WIG WTF
So I’ve had three dreams about warped tour in the past three days and here they are
Don’t remember it that well but my best friend was there and we walked around but it was before anything actually started and I think it was in a library
We saw Falling In Reverse (my best friend was also there) and we were in like the front row and it was great
For some reason the entire family decided to show up and we were eating at a restaurant and we had my dog and my mom was like “go take him to the dog park thing and then hang out with your friends” so I took the dog to the dog park thing but all the dogs were wayyyy bigger than him and so I was like “lol no” and carried him back and he turned into a loaf of bread so I ate the loaf of bread and gave one little piece to my mom and she was like “where’s the dog” and I said “lol what do you think that bread was” and then my dad and my brother got into an argument about whether or not the dog was still alive
I had another dream about warped tour even though its been a few weeks basically I went to warped tour with Sarah and we met Palaye Royale and for some reason they decided to hang out with us so we were like lol sure so we just walked around and talked to Palaye Royale for a few hours fun
I had another dream that I saw Panic! again and Dallon was still there and Brendon flew right over me during Dying in LA. Also my friend Tori was there and I was texting my other friend about it the entire time and then later I went to visit him and then I woke up
I had another dream where we were at a school thing and Gerard Way was there but it was 2017 Gerard Way and he was doing a signing/meet and greet and I got too scared to talk to him but then later he came up to me and we talked a little bit and then the head of the school talked to me, my best friend, and some other girl about making a bi club and I would have to make the promotional video so yay
I had another dream that it was warped tour (I’ve had like five of these smh I’m still not over it) anyway I saw As It Is with my best friend and then met Patty Walters which was pretty cool. And then later I ended up in a school bus and part of a horror movie (????) and then when I got out of that I got wrapped up in this car washing thing for school cause Fall Out Boy was there and Pete started spraying me with a giant hose so I got mad and slapped his car. And then finally I got out of the car washing thing but I got lost and had to help this old guy and watched a few episodes of some show about animated fish. And then I finally got back to warped but Palaye’s set was over and their meet and greet was also almost over. So I got at the end of the line and talked to Emerson for a really long time and hugged Sebastian for like a minute straight and it was fun.
So I’ve had two dreams about Hot Topic:
The first one I just walked in and I’m pretty sure they had a bunch of like comforters and bedsheets for sale??? And then I walked down this really creepy staircase to this underground room which was huge and full of records and posters and stuff and I had a lot of fun.
So I had another one just the other day that the mall near my house was closing so me and two of my friends decided to walk around for the last time and we found the Hot Topic and the inside was kinda empty but the outside had all the band merch. We went inside and Awsten Knight was there and he was like “hi I’m going to draw on you” to one of my friends and started drawing on her so we were all sitting together and I talked about warped and Awsten was like “oh cool you saw me at warped have a free poster or two OR THREE give them to your friends” and I was like “thanks” and then he said “no thank you, little teenager Awsten is quaking” and I was like “ohhhh”
I had another dream that I was at this camp thing and Beyoncé was there and me and my best friend went to this other thing with Hayley Kiyoko and she hugged Hayley really awkwardly and then Tom Holland appeared and it turned out there was this like claw machine that lets you pick out celebrities at any age and two kids were playing with it and they brought out 8 year old Frank Iero and he was really mean and hated me for no reason and also highkey looked like a vampire
I had ANOTHER dream about warped Jesus Christ I need to stop Anyway I was on a tower with a bunch of people from school and watching the main stage from there and mcr was the last band playing and Remington was there and he climbed on the stage and they played Surrender the Night and closed with Burn Bright which is cool
I had a dream that I saw Paramore and I was like right in the front and Hayley kept making eye contact with me and then there was an intermission and panic! played and it was a fun time
Why am I like this what has the internet done to me
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3rd Comedy Monologue
“Do any of you remember Rugrats?”
“The 90s cartoon about talking babies that went on adventures”
“Yeah well you know Angelica the whiny,spoiled character?”
“I actually kind of liked her maybe it’s because I related to her when I was little or maybe it’s because I liked how cool she was she was able to tell the babies about stuff they didn’t know about, playing a part in their imagination.”
Anyways speaking of children,they’re alright and they are usually one of the following
“Mummy Daddy why do they get to pick a sweet not me what did I do?”
“Waaaa I want that I want that”
“Hi there, do you want to play?
“Your good at art,I couldn’t draw like that”
“Thank you young soul you are too pure for this world”
Me on the other hand,was a whinging cowardly little sod
Now I’m not a child anymore but I am still mistaken as one
Yeah,that happens
17/18 years old,old enough to vote,old enough to drive,old enough to move house & old enough to realise my phases of being a tory “skeptic” were pointless
Yet sometimes people still think I’m someone who likes ice-cream,toys and video games
Well I mean I do like those things I’m sure some of you like those things too
We are children at heart but physically and mentally we evolve and learn with time
I’ll be an young adult,and I love it I might not have a place of my own yet but I love being able to learn new things and see new places I couldn’t see when I was a kid.
Then again my teenhood wasn’t that good either because I had a developmental condition that made me different than others mentally,my interests were very intense and I got panic feelings when around crowds or in difficult situations
My primary school classmates liked JLS,Partying and other things that I didn’t like or couldn’t do
While now I’m warming up to certain things I’m still happy I didn’t like JLS.
I on the other hand, liked the sims 3,dolls,the 1980s,old cartoons and films.
So...a game where you become God,plastic models,the age of neon graphic design, and innovative video games and...yeah that hasn’t changed has it?
Well I don’t play the sims anymore,my laptop has no cd rom drive,I used up the data on my old one, from downloads I’d buy from the exchange store
Sims also was one of the few things that got me into my “emo” phase
I’d be looking at sims videos on youtube they’d usually be very sad and in the background there’d be evanescence,my chemical romance or avril lavigne
I’d be sitting at the back of the living room at a gathering and I’d be listening to Sims 2 sad story part 1 because it had good music. I later learned the names and that I was a bit of a goth,a emo,a metalhead because I liked gothic and j-metal any of that.
Dolls…..
now this was embarrassing I’m sure we all have those songs where as soon as you hear them you feel a film reel of negative memories return. For me that was
Barbie Girl by Aqua, weird because aqua are a good band,but that song oh that song it was so annoying
Picture this
Someone in their final primary school years, who still collects dolls,
Now!  Would you ignore that or would you use that outdated song as a way to mock them because they were still enjoying a thing, meant for children.
I received the latter,because of that when I’d hear people sing that song simply just because they liked it I’d get confused and offended a similar thing happened with my little pony
I used to sing and perform for people in the playgrounds other times I’d keep to myself
I loved my little pony before the new wave I loved rewatching episodes of the old 80s mlp series of goblins,witches and giants...oops that was a different show I was describing there
And one of the songs I’d perform was the original theme song
My Little Pony~ My Little Pony~
What will today’s adventure be?
My Little Pony…My Little Pony
Will there be exciting sights to see?
Nope to some of my primary school audience the lyrics were
“My little pony skinny and boney”
*sarcastic deadpan laugh*
Ha ha ha,  
Then again I wasn’t much better
I used to make youtube videos with those “dolls”
They weren’t very good
They had bad editing and barely any plot beyond badly structured fourth wall jokes
Yet I wanted the whole internet to know about them even if they weren’t interested
I was a easy target and while I did get tired of that,change interests and go into a different fandom direction
Some things were still the same
I was still cowardly,weak and timid and that was a problem
I was always following others,I didn’t make my decisions often,because of the condition and my own loneliness I couldn’t do things other teenagers could.
I never had a sleepover,I never had a crush that wasn’t one-sided and I didn’t have much independence
Even when I did have “friends” those friends I would later learn were not nice making me believe I had wasted years that I couldn’t get back.
On...the topic of regrets, dance  something I sometimes enjoy but when I studied performing Arts it was what I dreaded…
Note I’m ok with  anyone who does like to dance,party or do any of those things
I would just try to take part like everyone else but many times I was put aside or embarrassed in front of the others because of either me having a meltdown or because “my timing was off”
Yes,he did teach me some cool moves and I am more supple now but that was the content and even if I was crap I knew it and tried to practice
Everyday I’d practice each technical exercise and routine but it was still not good enough.in fact it was because of that and other reasons that I couldn’t do that course anymore
All because of,of….Craig Revel Hor not him but he was like him.
Because of that I had to take saturday dance classes...those weren’t fun
The most fun I had was from the songs we danced to and the few positive examples of small talk I attempted with the people there.
Otherwise it was not good...me and little kids specifically loud hyper kids don’t always go well when in the same place..again my timing was off it wasn’t told but I could tell
One of the moments I hated the most was the headshot day
Now we were supposed to just be getting photos taken but the photographer noticed I was shorter than she thought.I laughed it off because I know I’m short but then what did she say in response…
“Your a wee bit vertically challenged”
EXCUSE ME
Now,I may be short but in a class of kids and teens of different ages and heights I was far from the shortest person there.
When I was a teenager I wasn’t a proper teenager the only things that made me a teenager was my age,my angsty attitude and the drama I got into involving political meme posters and anime roleplayers.
The less I say about that the better
So while all the “adults” were telling me to beware of the adult years because of
Oooh responsibilities...ooooh independence ooooh….education
Honestly  it’s ok for me so far I’m a fairly organized person so studying is good,I did a assistant stage managing gig for a west side story production which was class by the way and I think i’ll feel a lot happier as a adult.
I have not much to mock about today my political jabs are sometimes good other times they’re like a bad Ben Elton joke on Saturday Live.
“Ha teresa may is like the wicked queen from snow white when she’s in disguise”
yeah? …..and  You look like you could front the band Wings mate
(pause)
Speaking of a bad Ben Elton joke
“Oh I never really understood the whole “comedy” business I always prefered being a bit of a writer and I think now with Bohemian Rhapsody being out that those critics will think
We Will Rock You wasn’t that bad.”
Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a show that layered it’s satire of the mainstream establishment under a sitcom narrative about alternative young adult characters where the comedy was good
for once
Once in every life time
Comes a moment like this
Oh I need you, you need me,
Oh my darling can't you see.
Young Ones.
Darling we're The Young Ones.
The Young Ones.
That show,oh I only watched last year but I have so many words
The jokes,the satire,the characters,the setting,the fact it still holds up
I found that show at the right time
It was august 2017
I had finished my GCSE’s,I had left a manipulative friendship and I felt horrible
When I’d go to the cinema people were making noise and I would remember the panic more than the film itself *coughs* Spiderman homecoming
I felt like I didn’t know how to laugh anymore
Summertime sadness
When edgy me came across ben elton’s ronnie barker memorial lecture
Being a fan of Porridge and Open All hours I listened and after hearing about a certain sitcom  I started watching...The Young Ones...and it was out of this world
I roared with laughter with each episode,I related to the characters and I felt a connection of some sort
Researching more about the “alternative comedy” genre and I saw a familiar name
I learned I had seen some of his work before,he was the andrex puppy,he was in that king Arthur cartoon and he was in that drop dead fred movie I didn’t watch just because internet critics said it was one of the biggest cinematic flops ever….
Yet I never knew his name until then and I’m still not over that
I looked up his other work,where he was richie,richie rich,lord flashheart and a b’stard of a conservative
(which I would later try to do an impression of, on my final girls brigade show.)
So many thoughts,so many emotions he changed my life
Many things and people have. He is one of them  
his work was incredible and iconic  and his mantras are very inspirational and useful. He made me realise a lot of things about life,my love of his work also resulted in me meeting most of the friends I have now.
It’s 2019 and I’m now the anarchist I always wanted to be,I’m out of my shell, a bat out of hell,I followed others for too long but I’m my own person now that’s who I will always be
Now say it with me   Young Ones..
You shouldn't be afraid.
To live, love, there's a song to be sung.
Cause we may not
Be The Young Ones
very long.
Oh,Doctor Rik.Mayall we miss you,you bastard
The world wasn’t as much of a crap place when you were there to cheer us up
But your still here spiritually in her hearts
As you said yourself we still have your shows  and poems
Now!  all you punks,skins,rastas,emos,hipsters,creators,viewers,performers,entertainers,observers and fellow peoples poets
let’s gather round and hold our hands in sorrow for our fallen leader
Love is the answer!  Goodnight
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caucasianbuttslut · 6 years
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The Losers x Music Taste
Richie
Arctic Monkeys, Led Zeppelin, Cage the Elephant, New Order, Pixies, classic rock in general
also loves classic gangsta rap like Biggie, Tupac, Snoop Dogg, and Juicy J
knows all the words to “Slob on My Knob” and embarasses Eddie by screaming it in the car while they drive
always listening to music so loud you can hear it through his earbuds, and wears bright metallic rose gold Beats everywhere like an asshole
hates music that plays on the radio
Eddie
Amy Winehouse, Lana Del Rey, Marina and The Diamonds, old school Lily Allen, Tori Amos, Fiona Apple, and One of the Boys era Katy Perry 
has a lot of feelings, okay? 
make Spotify playlists for very specific moods
an't stand when Richie blasts music
Britney Spears slut and has given Richie a drunken lap dance to “Womanizer”
never liked Melanie Martinez but had a Halsey phase at one point
Beverly
Richie says she likes “white people rap” and it makes Mike roll his eyes
very mainstream taste in Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar, and Drake
hardcore into Blackbear and Logic
knows all the words to every Nicki and Cardi song
will never admit it, but unironically stanned Iggy Azalea at one point in her life
obsessed with One Direction as a teen and once cried cause Harry Styles looked at her during a concert
likes Rihanna more than Beyoncé
Mike
Soundcloud rappers
can listen to anything and his Soundcloud playlists all sounds like you put the entire website on shuffle
thinks it’s stupid to pay for Spotify or Apple Music
owns Tyler the Creator merch
appreciates classic rock but has super basic tastes
cried when Aaliyah died and wants Beyoncé and Jay-Z tickets for his birthday
Bill
gets nostalgic over classical music due to growing up with a piano teacher mom
likes accoustic guitar and low-fi hip hop that he can play in the background while writing
Cuco, potsu, and Cigarettes After Sex soothe his soul
can talk for hours about Amy Winehouse with Eddie, and they watch Amy together and sob like big babies
listens to Lana Del Rey on vinyl while he smokes and rereads his writing
Ben
80s and showtunes whore
will play K-Pop if you pass him the aux cord, and so the Losers never let him have it
wants to feel as sexy as Madonna in the “Like A Virgin” music video
Madonna, New Kids on the Block, Cyndi Lauper, George Michael, Taylor Dane, Toto, Whitney Houston and unironic Rick Astley
would sell his soul for Mama Mia tickets
knows the words to every song Judy Garland has ever sung
has read multiple biographies on Lesley Gore and outbids people on Etsy for her original vinyls
sobs to Dirty Dancing and wants “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” playing at his wedding
Stan
sospisticated indie taste
had an emo phase, and Panic! at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, and Linkin Park are his secret guilty pleasures
still buys CDs
country Taylor Swift
“Stan what the fuck are you listening to?”
hides his music tastes cause it’s just that weird
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njmphadora · 7 years
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92 TRUTHS TAG GAME
rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!
thank you @wjnterbucky and @alrightevains for tagging me !!! throwing this tag out now to @hollandstcm @obliviaet @arianadumbeldore @howlingremus @yigrittes @acciolunalovegood @ginniewheezie @mollyprewett @scourgify @pctter @ohmargaery @dementvr @sirjsblack @tcrtarus @siltheryn @chewbqcca @isakvaltzrsen @hermionegrangcr @lilyevansh @ctaeth
LAST…
[1] drink: apple & blackcurrent squash + fizzy water [2] phone call: my mum bc she needed me to pay her back where is the crying with laughter face when u need it [3] text message: my boyfriend bc we were discussing the new hp books [4] song you listened to: urghh idk i had my spotify on shuffle and then eventually just stopped paying attention to the music [5] time you cried: i don't remember but i think it was probably recently
HAVE YOU EVER…
[6] dated someone twice: jsnsjkf yes but only one guy [7] been cheated on: no thank god [8] kissed someone and regretted it: aahahhaa yes [9] lost someone special: yeah [10] been depressed: lmao yes i was a true emo kid [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: assnfskj SO MANY TIMES
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS…
[12] pink [13] purple [14] cyan
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
[15] made new friends: umm yes but only on tumblr [16] fallen out of love: nope [17] laughed until you cried: yeah lmao :)) [18] found out someone was talking about you: nope [19] met someone who changed you: no [20] found out who your true friends are: tbh yeah more than any other year, this year i really saw them for who they were... and most of them sucked jsfns [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: i don't have facebook anymore but technically yeah bc my boyfriend is on facebook so...
GENERAL…
[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i don't use facebook [23] do you have any pets: nope although my bf has 3 cats and honestly one of them walks all over me like i'm their owner and the others are pretty used to me, they're like my part-time pets okay [24] do you want to change your name: no way !!! tbh i'm gonna hate giving half my name up when i get married, i love my surname [25] what did you do for your last birthday: sat in with my boyfriend & bestfriend drinking wine + eating pizza + playing board games and it was amazing. [26] what time did you wake up: i don't remember ??? sometime between 10am and 11am i think. [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: on tumblr [28] name something you cannot wait for: starting university tbh like i'm crazzzyy nervous but also super super excited! [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like half an hour ago ? [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: jjbkjnjnkjn i wish i didn't have this illness so that i could have stayed and worked at penguin and become an editor instead of having to quit and go to uni [31] what are you listening to right now: nothing, it's so depressing. my sister is asleep next door to me and she gets pissed if i play anything this loud at night and i haven't put in my headphones yet because i cba to find them [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: i don't think i have actually ??? [33] something that is getting on your nerves: wasps [34] most visited website: my own blog no shame [35] elementary: primary school, thank you very much. [36] high school: secondary school was awful tysm for askin. i went to a prison of posh kids, it was hell. [37] college: starting uni in october !!! i'm gonna be studying english lit. [38] hair colour: muddy brown [39] long or short hair: eh somewhere between medium and long [40] do you have a crush on someone: it's not really a crush ?? [41] what do you like about yourself? my hair can be nice when it's well behaved and i actually kinda like my arms and hands for some reason and idk why ??? [42] piercings: okay so 3 lobe piercings on my left ear, a 8mm stretcher and a cartilidge piercing on my right, and i also have my right nipple pierced. [43] blood type: no-eyed-deer [44] nickname: nat / snig, and my boyfriend calls my "princess" which i think is super cute. [45] relationship status: happily taken for like almost four years ?? i think something like that. [46] zodiac sign: aries [48] fav tv show: friends, gossip girl, girlmore girls, sherlock, doctor who (during the tenth doctor), pretty little liars. lmao i couldn't pick just one. [49] tattoos: i've got one on my ribcage area ?? like under my boob, and it says "And they all lived happily ever after..." but i'm also trying to save up for a few more. [50] right or left handed: right.
FIRST…
[51] surgery: i've never had surgery [52] piercing: lobe piercing when i was a wee kiddy [53] best friend: he was called oliver but i called him oyer and i think i fancied him [54] sport: ballet [55] vacation: bournemouth x) [56] pair of trainers: urmmm lmao no clue ???
RIGHT NOW…
[57] eating: haribo [58] drinking: squash + fizzy water [59] i’m about to: roll and go out for a smoke [60] listening to: nothing [61] waiting for: this tag game to end [62] want: pizza [63] get married: pretty soon hopefully [64] career: idk but i'd still love to be an editor
WHICH IS BETTER…
[65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: older [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: neither [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker
HAVE YOU EVER…
[74] kissed a stranger? yes omg but i was always really really really drunk [75] drank hard liquor? jnsfjk yes [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? omfg yes so many times [77] turned someone down: yes urghh it's so awkward and it actually breaks my heart [78] sex on first date? cryingcrying idk technically ?????? [79] broken someone’s heart? yes [80] had your own heart broken? yes [81] been arrested? no [82] cried when someone died? no (no one i know has died since i got to an age where i started crying) (if someone died now i would cry like freakin crazy) [83] fallen for a friend: LOL yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
[84] yourself? not really ? [85] miracles? no [86] love at first sight? no [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? yes [89] angels? no
OTHER…
[90] current best friend’s name: tory [91] eye colour: brown [92] favourite movie: harry potter / clueless / mean girls / ferris bueller's day off / star wars / lord of the rings / back to the future
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skittelsen · 7 years
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My Secret Origin as a Super-Fan
*This post is my personal story. It does not represent the opinions or views of NetherRealm Studios, WB Games, or DC Entertainment. 
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What a week!
My first game as Narrative Lead, INJUSTICE 2, launched worldwide, and the response from fans and critics has been overwhelmingly positive—as in I feel overwhelmed by all the positivity. This week also marked the tenth anniversary of my NYU graduation. Finally, there’s the MOST important milestone of all, my son’s third birthday. For me, all these events are connected.
Of all the reactions to Injustice 2 out there, I love most when someone remarks that the people who made this game must really love DC Comics lore. Trust me, they do. Everyone on the I2 team has a favorite DC character, from the iconic to the obscure. My favorite is Superman.
It might come as a surprise that the Narrative Lead on a game in which Superman is portrayed as a lethal tyrant would profess to be a Superman fan, but I am. 
Here’s why. When I was about 4 years old, my parents told me that I was and would always be their son, but that I didn’t come out of Mommy’s tummy like my sister. I was adopted. My birth parents, whoever they were, couldn’t raise me, so they sent me away to find a family who could provide a better life for me.
This kind of news can really mess with a kid’s head. I was an indoorsy, deep-thinky emo boy, and I would dramatically stare into the bathroom mirror and wonder whose eyes were looking back at me. Fortunately, my Mom and Dad were a real life Ma and Pa Kent, equipped with big hearts to manage my drama. They loved my sister and I as much as any kids could be loved, and they never treated me any differently on account of my secret heritage. 
Superman: The Movie was on TV a lot in the 1980s. I don’t remember when, but at some point not long after my parents told me I was adopted, I made the connection that Superman was adopted. Superman was just like me! 
From then on, my personal identity as an adopted kid was still fraught with complications and insecurities, but it wasn’t always a source of trauma. In my mind, I had a secret origin, a source of strength. And how cool would it be if I found a spaceship buried in the basement? 
My parents reinforced this imaginative coping mechanism by indulging my every superhero fantasy. They took me to every comics and collectibles shop in upstate New York looking for special issues and rare action figures. Mom sewed more than one Superman cape (and a few Batman capes, too), and she and I binge-watched George Reeves in Adventures of Superman. For my 18th birthday, my Dad bought me the S-shield tattoo that’s still on my shoulder. A year later, he got the same S-shield tattoo on the same shoulder as me. He sat in the inker’s chair wincing from the needle, quoting Marlon Brando as Jor-El, “The son becomes the father, and the father becomes the son!” 
Without my parents’ support, I may never have gone to Metropolis for college at NYU. They were so proud at my graduation, but I wasn’t proud yet. I wanted to be a writer, but instead, I found myself working as the Corporate Files Administrator at the HBO Legal Department and taking an LSAT prep course by night. I was lost. 
Then, two things happened that set me back on course. First, I was hired by an indie producer to write a screenplay, enabling me to quit my job at HBO. Second, at my wife’s urging, I sent a fan letter to one of my favorite writers, author and educator Douglas Rushkoff, asking if he needed any help.
They say don’t meet your heroes, but in Rushkoff, I found a mentor and a lifelong friend. Working as his editorial assistant was a dream come true. I learned more in one year working Rushkoff than I had in four years studying at NYU. 
Then my screenplay deal fell apart, the global economy tanked, and like a lot of recent college graduates, I faced the real possibility of going broke and moving back in with my parents. Rushkoff couldn’t pay me a full time salary, but he offered to help me get an inside track at DC. 
Applying for a job at DC Comics without a personal recommendation is like throwing rocks at the moon. For years, from sophomore year of college on, I had applied for every DC internship and entry-level position available. Never got a response. Rushkoff recommended me and I got a call from WB HR within a few hours. It certainly helped that I now had a few more bullets on the CV. It also may have helped that the person Rushkoff recommended me to was Paul Levitz, then President and Publisher of DC Comics.
An extensive interview process later, I was hired as Assistant Editor - Interactive at DC Comics. My family was with me when I got the phone call. We all went out for dinner and celebrated, and I got so drunk, I ate a bowl of unpeeled shrimp with the shells intact. That hurt in the morning, but it’s still one of my favorite memories.
Little did we know how much that job would change things. Less than a year after I started at DC, Paul Levitz stepped down and Diane Nelson arrived as President. DC Comics became DC Entertainment, and the office was split between New York and California. 
It was a great deal of change in a relatively short period of time for a company invested with decades of tradition. That made for a controversial and upsetting time for many of the employees who had been at DC for years. I had the benefit of being the newbie, and my wife grew up in California, so were were excited to relocate to Los Angeles, even though it meant leaving our beloved city and so many wonderful friends behind. I accepted my offer to join the new team in Burbank, and off we went.
Working at DC was a dream job. I considered my colleagues like family members, and I got to work with more talented creators than I can list here. One of my favorite collaborators, though, was NetherRealm Studios. 
Working with NRS on Injustice: Gods Among Us felt like a big deal. Mortal Kombat was a formative games franchise for me growing up, and the team was just coming off an amazing 2011 reboot of the MK franchise with an incredibly ambitious cinematic Story Mode. 
Plus, this would be the AAA game in which my favorite hero, Superman, could finally take center stage. He would be the villain of the story, but a villain motivated by good intentions in response to a horrific tragedy. 
The results were nothing short of awesome. From that first game through five years of comics and a blockbuster mobile adaptation, the Injustice universe took off like a bullet train. 
I left DC before Injustice launched. It was a dream job, to be sure, but I still had that other dream of being a writer, and for HR reasons, that wasn’t possible while I was a DC employee. So when a Burbank creative agency offered me a leadership role, a better salary, and the freedom to write for anyone I wanted, I knew it was time to go.
Leaving DC felt like a big risk. It doesn’t get bigger than Superman. What would I find in the great beyond? But after getting comfortable in my position at DC, disrupting my routine and transitioning to games marketing was a challenge I needed. My partners and I built a crack team of creatives and account managers. That team pitched and executed campaigns for clients all over the world, and went on to win award after award after award. 
My risky marketing venture was now a successful career. It was possible to envision a future where I never wrote again, living comfortably off all those marketing dollars. I had co-written a screenplay since leaving DC, but apart from that, I no longer made the time to write. My wife was pregnant, we’d just a bought a house, and I was traveling on a weekly basis. There were only so many hours in the day, and I needed to make those hours profitable.
But all the money in the world couldn’t fulfill my goal to be a writer. It was at this time that some close friends challenged me to write. Well, not just to write, but to finish something. One comics editor friend put it to me, “If you can’t write a 12-page backup, what can you write?” That put the fire in me. So I wrote a short story that editor, then a short story for another. Then I sold an original comic series (still upcoming!). And then I got a call from an old colleague.
At DC, I worked with an incredible woman named Victoria Setian, or as we call her, Tory. She had been part of Team Interactive with me, and since I’d left DC, she’d also moved, across the street to WB Games, where she was a budding producer on Mortal Kombat X, which of course was being made by some of our favorite developers, NetherRealm Studios.
Tory asked if I wanted to throw in a pitch for an MKX comic series. I knew the lore, I knew the team, what did I have to lose? So, in between agency work and preparing for a new baby, I wrote my pitch.
Then my son was born. A big deal for anyone, an extra big deal for an adopted person who’s never laid eyes on a blood relative before. My son opened his eyes, and for the first time, I saw myself in another human being. The experience was psychedelic. Becoming a father profoundly changed me in ways I’m still figuring out.
Everyone who knew me knew that I wanted to name a son “Clark” someday. Didn’t want to force that on my wife, though, so we came up with an alternative name, and she picked from both names once she saw the baby and got a sense of his personality. He was quiet for a newborn, a little gentleman, she said. She named him Clark Eric, taking his middle name from my father, which was an added surprise. Suffice it to say there wasn’t a dry eye among the Kittelsen men that morning.
The call from my editor at DC came that week while I was still home with the family. I got the gig. How soon could I turn around a new outline?
Thus began the most difficult summer of my life. New house, new baby, new writing gig, and I still had to pitch, travel, and manage the creative team for the agency. There was pressure coming at me from every direction. I became depressed. Something had to give.
Alan Moore gave an interview once where he talked about taking the leap to freelance. He came home to tell his wife he was quitting his industrial job, but when he got there, she told him she was pregnant, so he went back to work. But in time it occurred to him that no matter how poor his writing career might make the family, the baby would survive. They’d find a way. The only question was, would the baby grow up with new shoes and a miserable father who resents his lot in life, or with secondhand shoes and a father who can honestly tell that child she can be anything she wants to be.
This was the choice I faced. Fortunately, I didn’t have to make it alone. I had my wife, my partner, to work it out with me. She drafted a household budget, figured out how lean we could live, how long we might survive, and together we put together Humble Wordsmith, LLC, my freelance business.
I quit the agency job, reduced my monthly expenses to bare minimums, and started working from home. Beyond the comics, I had freelance gigs as a copywriter, a marketing consultant, whatever I could get paid to do. I busted my hump, but no matter how hard I tried, I never seemed to build momentum. That first year, our household income went down by over 75%. 
Things picked up a bit when I got hired by WB Games to write story and in-game content for the DC Legends mobile game. With that under my belt, I looked for more games writing gigs, but they were hard to come by. I focused more of my time on Feral Audio, a start-up podcast network was growing steadily. 
That’s when I got another call from another old colleague, Senior Producer Adam Urbano. NetherRealm Studios was looking for a writer to join their team and work on the story for Injustice 2. Would I be interested and available? After years of working with NRS on various projects in various capacities, this was the ultimate compliment.
The rest, as they say, is history. Writing for the game is the best dream job I’ve ever had the privilege of working. There was so much work to be done, I handed off my Feral Audio duties to my partners at the network. For the first time since I graduated from college, I could focus on one job title: Writer.
Becoming a father was wonderful but disruptive. Writers are selfish people, we like having lots of time to ourselves to “think” and “be creative” and sometimes even to write. But I can’t be selfish anymore. So with each year since I started freelancing, I’ve worked harder at balancing my family life with my work. The more quality time I spend as a Dad, the more fulfilled I become. I’ve been around for all Clark’s achievements, from walking to talking to his first tantrum. At the agency, I feared I would miss all those priceless memories. Now I have a treasure trove.
As if all this weren’t enough, there was one more surprise waiting for me in the lead-up to launching Injustice 2. 
**MINOR I2 SPOILER WARNING** In the game, Superman meets his cousin, Supergirl, for the first time. It’s the first time he’s ever laid eyes on a blood relative. The first time he sees himself in someone else. Just like the first time I saw Clark.
Writing that scene was obviously somewhat personal and emotional for me. Now, a couple years later, I get to live that scene out for myself.
See, ever since my wife became pregnant, I’ve been taking DNA tests, trying to decode my secret origin. They never yielded any close results, but the ethnographic results they provided me were interesting, and I never knew what they could yield, so I kept taking them. Then, just this March, I got a match to a distant cousin. On a lark, I sent her my adoption info, and within hours, she sent me the name of my maternal grandfather. Then we found my grandmother.
We did not find my birth mother. In a soap opera twist, my birth mother was given up for adoption, just like me, so her identity is still a mystery. But I can’t complain. I’ve found new uncles, aunts, and cousins, they’ve welcomed me to the family with open arms, and they want to help find my birth mother. 
By finding the birth family my mother never knew, I’ve found another missing piece of myself. Now I can look in the mirror and see the pieces I gave to Clark, as well as the pieces my grandparents gave to me. Sometime soon I’m going to meet my cousins in person for the first time, four Supergirls who share my blood. The game becomes the writer, and the writer becomes the game.
So there it is. My life story as a Superman fan, a writer, and a father. This week I got to celebrate as all three. Remember when I said I graduated from college and my parents were proud of me, but I wasn’t proud of me? I’m proud of me now. I just checked off my bucket list by the dozen.
How am I possibly going to top this experience? I’ll have to figure that out. For now, I’m going to savor this moment with gratitude and satisfaction. After 10 years of professional ups and downs and always searching for the next opportunity, I’m happy where I am, and on the whole, I think it’s just swell. ;)
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uwu-sksk · 4 years
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Events
Okay, so school started on  September 5. That week was not very significant. 
Bro, I thought this event was the 12th but apparently, it was the 17th, whatever. It was an A day and last period, picture day and I had gym. Since pictures are taken in the gym we were in the pac and didn't have gym class. So my friends and I were sitting down talking after taking our picture when a new kid walked in. 
I got a whole good vibe when he walked past and then he sat in the back corner by himself. I was trying to get my friends to come with me because he looked lonely and I wanted to talk to him because even though social interaction is terrifying he didn’t have friends and I wanted to be nice. After like 15 minutes of convincing 2 of my friends to come with me, we went and spoke to him. He was really nice, he was tall, he had pretty eyes, green hair, he was an emo, eboy child. He was also a senior and 19. I invited him to sit with me at lunch the next day and I was so excited to make a new friend.
The next day I had math class right before lunch and went to where Maddy, Allen and I always sit. I was looking all over for the new kid and then I saw the green hair and ran over to him. He bought his lunch and then came back to sit with us. And Allen thought eboy was flirting with me the whole time. But I didn’t really see it and I was also oblivious and just happy about making a friend. 
The next day we had gym and eboy and I was walking the lap together when Lauren decided to try and fuck with me and take him away. And Sam was in my gym too and tried doing the same thing. But eboy stayed with me because Sam and Lauren are assholes. I then started having a crush on him which was not good because I thought I was gay and I had a girlfriend even though we weren’t talking. 
That Sunday she broke up with me because I’m “too stressful” she said but it was fine because I moved on and liked eboy. I told Allen and he got pissed at me and continuously bashed eboy but Maddy and my other friend, Tori were supportive. That week eboy asked if I liked him and I said yes and he said he liked me and a bitch was thriving. But he didn't want to date because he said it’d just hurt me when he left and he wants us to be friends and relationships usually end badly. But on Thursday he asked me to come over after school and I went. And I became a hoe, even bigger than I originally thought I was because I hadn’t even known him for 2 weeks like I thought. But I was happy as hell after that. 
The next day I was really excited to see him because of the previous day. I was gonna see him at lunch and gym but I didn't get to. Because the people in this fucking school decided to spread rumours about him because he was friends with me. They told the school he was going to shoot it up and then he had to leave early. I had a mental breakdown that day and missed class cause I was in guidance crying for over an hour. At lunch, people kept saying more shit and I had another mental breakdown and was sobbing while on the phone with my mother. 
Then Lauren and her best friend decided to start with me mid-mental breakdown and say they were gonna fight me and that I was psychotic. The rest of the day I was crying. Except for the last period when Maddy and I got happy for once that day because we got All Time Low tickets. Allen came over after school and tried to keep me happy. And eboy didn't have his phone.
On Sunday I had another mental breakdown and I tried to kill myself. At one in the morning while on the phone with Allen, I was having a mental breakdown and tried to kill myself. My mother and younger sister came into my room and tried to take me to the hospital. But I wouldn’t go and then on Monday we went to the doctor and now I’m going to get help for my brain. 
Today, Thursday, eboy got his phone back and I got really excited. I almost had another mental breakdown. I was supposed to get beat to a pulp by Lauren and her friend but they pussied out. I think he got it back for one of t two reasons, I dressed full on egirl today or it could be because I did a spell last night to see if he was okay. So life at the current moment it okay. 
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