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spaceorphan18 · 4 years

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Kurt Hummel Solos Ranked

Ever since I finished the Kurt Hummel Meta Series - Finding Kurt Hummel - I’ve been wanting to talk about the music a bit. Well, here we go. I have four different categories -- Solos, Duets, Small Groups Numbers, and Large Group Numbers, and I’m starting off with Solos.

Kurt didn’t have a ton of solos on the show, but that made them special when we did get one. Kurt’s solos are usually integral to his story line, and usually hold a great deal of emotion one way or an other. And while not all of them are 100% tied to his own plot - I think they all show bits and pieces of his character.

As a note - there are a few songs on here that may not initially be counted as a solo, but I’m doing so anyway -- either there’s a studio version with just his voice, or the tiny bit of someone else singing I’m kind of ignoring. For this discussion, I’m counting them as solos.

There are two songs, however, that I should mention first -- two short solos that didn’t have a studio release --

1. Pink Houses (Laryngitis, 1x18)

I still find this number quite hilarious. Kurt’s attempt at emulating his dad, and therefore singing John Mellencamp, to seem more ‘masculine’ is not only a great comedic spot, but shows us really what the opposite of who Kurt is. While, clearly, not a great song for Kurt -- we do at least get to hear Chris’s low register for once, and get a rare moment when we get to see Chris be actually comedic during a musical number -- something that didn’t happen all that often because Kurt’s musical numbers were usually serious in nature and involves a lot of crying. It’s not a great performance - but it’s a damn entertaining one.

2. Music of the Night (Choke, 3x18)

Another non-studio release for what is an extended comedic moment. Kurt’s right - his rendition of this is pretty bland, and you can tell he’s not putting forth his best effort. There’s clearly no emotional connection to the song that is a hallmark of his songs, especially his solos. That said - the scene itself is pretty entertainingly comedic -- from his ridiculous choreography, to Tina’s bored version of Christine, to the massive amount of candles on stage. The scene is a lot of fun - even if it’s not meant to be a serious performance.

So, with those out of the way....

Kurt Hummel’s Solos Ranked:

I should preface this with, these are, obviously, my own objective opinion. While I am taking into account performances and effectiveness of the song, at the end of the day, these are my own opinions, and everyone will have their own version of the list.

17. I’ll Remember (Goodbye, 3x22)

I don’t think that there are any bad Kurt solos. There are ones that I don’t think work all that well, and this is one of them. First off is the fact that I’m not a big fan of the song, originally done by Madonna. While the song does fit the moment lyrically, and I do buy Kurt singing it, the song itself isn’t that great. The performance is fine. Despite all the tears and wistful looks, it’s a bit standard of a performance that doesn’t lend itself to being all that memorable. Also, there’s the fact that this song is dedicated to all the men in the room. Ug, Glee your plot points suck sometimes.

16. Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina (Special Education, 2x09)

This is the first of a few songs on the list that are technically sung by two people, but this has a Kurt-only studio version, so it’s here as a solo. Kurt does relatively well vocally with this song. But it’s clear that it’s not his song at all. This is a Rachel song, which is made clearer as they sing it side by side as a comparison. While Kurt sings it technically and proficiently fine, he doesn’t embody the song the way Rachel does in the scene. (And that’s fine - the point is that it doesn’t fit him correctly.) Kurt is a little stiff and uncomfortable with this song, with a sense of emotion that doesn’t quite connect. And while fine for the scene that they’re doing - it lands this one low on my list.

15. I’m Still Here (Bash, 5x15)

This is Kurt’s last solo of the series, and, unfortunately, the only representative of season 5 (and 6), which is why it really pains me to put it so low on the list, but, also unfortunately, there are a lot of issues with it. First of all, at this point in the series, while old Diva Broadway numbers were his bread and butter - he had been growing past them, and while the song choice works for the story (mostly), the selection feels a little tired. Vocally, he’s proficient enough, though it lacks some of the grittiness and understanding of, say, an actual old school Broadway Diva. (I can see Rachel Berry singing this when she’s 80 a la Elaine Stritch.) The choreography is a little weird at times - but they did let Chris do the choreography of this one nearly by himself, and it shows a little.

One weird nitpick I have about this number is actually a production thing -- it’s clear that in the close ups Chris is doing better acting and giving more of an effort than he’s doing in the wide shots. It’s a weird thing to notice but between that and the tepid performance in general, it brings this one way down on the list for me.

14. Some People (Funeral, 2x21)

This one is a huge step above the others on the list, as the rest of this list is really a bunch of fantastic performances. Chris really brings it in this one (and fun fact, he helped do the choreography on this one), as Kurt’s energy is high and all of his moves here are quintessential Kurt classics. It’s like all of standard Kurt Hummel in one song, especially since it’s a classic old diva Broadway standard. While I don’t have any complaints about the performance, the reason it’s so low is for two reasons. The first one is the context -- it’s for an audition for a solo and not directly connected to any meaningful Kurt storyline. And secondly - it’s just not a favorite song of mine. But, Kurt at least gets to have a peppy and physically entertaining solo, which doesn’t happen very often, so it is worth a watch.

13. You Are The Sunshine of My Life

Honestly, the only reason this as low as it is, is because I’m not a huge fan of this song. There’s actually a lot of great things going on here. For one, this is a really sweet performance for Kurt as he sings a sentimental song for his dad. The choreography is silly, but it’s intentionally childlike as little Kurt came up with this with his dad. Kurt sounds really good when he’s in his lower register (I actually love his lower register - which isn’t complimented enough). And one thing I really like from second half of the series Kurt is that he’s less choreographed Broadway style and more reflective of the quirky weirdo that he is. And this performance is exactly that.

12. A House is Not a Home (Home, 1x16)

This is an interesting one, because there are a lot of great things going on here that bring it up the list, but a few things that very much drag it down. First of all -- it’s the first showcase in the show of something I don’t see Chris get much credit for (outside the fandom bubble). The fact that he’s able to act while sing. It’s a difficult thing that Chris does masterfully here -- it’s not easy to make a solo next to a piano visually enticing but he really sells it. Anyway - the way Kurt’s emotion bleeds through the song is perfect, it’s not too overt or too subdued. And we really feel everything Kurt is feeling in this moment. It feels real, in a way that isn’t apparent in a lot of the other characters when they sing songs (coughrachelcough). This song is a fantastic reflection of Kurt’s emotional stance, and fits into the story wonderfully.

Bringing it down... first of all, technically, Finn sings a verse of this. And while I don’t consider this at all a duet (duets, I feel, are sung together), it’s still there, and still a glaring ear-sore. (Sorry Cory.) It sticks out like a sore thumb that Finn’s voice is not suited for this material, and while I see what they were doing with the story, it’s cringey when it gets there. The other thing about this song is that it’s kind of uncomfortable to watch. Kurt sells all of his emotion, but it’s focus point is an unrequited love, and the discomfort on Finn’s face, as well as a few others, makes it not an easy watch. Still -- overall, this is a great number and a fantastic performance.

11. I’m The Greatest Star (I Am Unicorn, 3x02)

This is kind of an interesting one to talk about because there are a lot of conflicting things going on. It’s one helluva performance, it’s a terrible interpretation of the song, and it’s not a great choice of audition song for West Side Story (all of which was the point), but that doesn’t mean I don’t agree with Coach Beiste, that Kurt made the song his prison bitch. If nothing else -- this really showcases just how talented Kurt is -- not only can he act while he’s singing, he has other talents as well, such as climbing scaffolding and using sai swords. The comedic/tragic element of this song, for me, is the fact that Kurt’s trying to show off everything he’s able to do in one song -- and in effect, while being an incredible spectacle, kind of backfires for him. (If he had done this one for his NYADA audition - I would have bought Carmen Tibideaux’s remarks.) I think this is often an underrated Kurt solo due to the high level of proficiency that’s needed to pull this off -- but it’s also not the best Kurt has to offer.

10. Bring Him Home (Diva, 4x13)

This is another one of those Kurt/Rachel comparison numbers that I count as a solo because there’s Kurt-only studio version and because it’s not really sung together but side by side. What I really love about this number is that subtle delicacy that Kurt brings to the number. It’s sung with a restrained emotion that’s perfect for the number that is a pleasure to listen to when compared to the over-emoting mess that Rachel is doing next to it. The other fascinating thing I’m learning, as I do this list, is that there’s a sense of maturity about Kurt’s voice that I’m finding in the later seasons - which is really neat to listen for. My only real reason it’s as low on the list as it is - is because there’s the song holds no real weight for Kurt’s story. I kind of wish the Midnight Madness song had not been the popular number of the year thanks to Les Mis, but something more meaningful to their friendship - but ah well, for Kurt, it’s still masterfully done.

9. Le Jazz Hot (Duets, 2x04)

This is a fun number that really showcases Kurt’s talents and ability. I really love the moment at the end when he sings his entire range. Like I’m The Greatest Star and Some People, it’s a showoff number, but I think more so than those other two, Kurt really brings it extra in this one as the choreography and costume additions are incredibly inspired. It’s not his greatest vocal solo, or the most meaningful, which is why it’s a little lower on the list, but it’s quite entertaining to see Kurt push in so much on himself, especially when forced to do so by the story, and thus makes it a memorable solo.

8. I Want to Hold Your Hand (Grilled Cheesus, 2x03)

I believe with this one we’re getting into the iconic Kurt-solo territory. The show already knew that Chris was a great pretty crier, and that was used to great affect in this entire episode. The one really great thing that Kurt (and Chris in his acting) does is not over emote. He sings songs with great emotion, but it’s usually controlled and right under the surface, making it incredible compelling. (By contrast - Rachel is always over-emoting, and always giving the same kind of over emoting that feels bland the more you see it.) The fascinating thing is that Kurt draws you into his world and his pain with song, and while he’s not doing much but standing there, he is letting you get a glimpse of what is behind the guarded shield he uses so much. This is why Kurt solos are special, because they’re rare, and a rare glimpse of what’s going on in a character who blocks himself off so much from the outside world -- especially in the early years. While I just happen to like the other solos on the list more, I believe this is one of the best performances on the show.

7. Defying Gravity (Wheels, 1x09)

So. This is the last of the side-by-side comparisons that I have on the solo list. And I want to start by saying that vocally, even minus the intentionally botched note, it’s not very good. Honestly - go listen to the season 5 version, and you hear how much better a vocalist Chris became, and it’s really a treat to hear him grow into his voice. And I do think Rachel won this competition. However... there is something magical about this performance. First of all, the song is deeply resonant for Kurt (and for Chris) and that comes through clearly in the song. He embodies the emotion of the song in a way that Rachel (and I’ll argue Lea) doesn’t. The lyrics are meaningful, and are acted out superbly. And on top of that is a layer where Kurt is debating with himself as to whether or not he’s going to throw the song. The vocals might not be there, but the acting is, and the emotion is, and on that alone brings this song so high on the list. This is a character defining song if there ever was one.

6. Blackbird (Original Song, 2x16)

Do yourself a favor - go on Netflix and watch this one, the youtube version cuts off Kurt’s head, which really is a disservice to the song and the performance, but it’s the only link I could find.

First of all, I’m biased, because I really love this song. Kurt sings it beautifully, too, which helps. But really -- I think it’s an incredible story element on multiple levels. Kurt’s singing a eulogy for a dead bird, which is bizarre when written out. But this moment is perfect. It’s a moment where Kurt’s restrained emotion is channeled beautifully through song, and we see, again, an element of Kurt himself, who has been caged throughout the whole Dalton arc. So, it’s not only about the death of Pavarotti, but about the death of Kurt trying to be something he’s not - and the freedom that comes with allowing yourself to be you.

On top of that, it’s a pivotal moment in the Klaine story, where Blaine finally gets to see the raw emotion of who Kurt is, and realizes he’s in love with him. The fact that this song is so multilayered on top of a great and beautiful performance is really what makes it one of my favorites.

5. I Have Nothing (Dance With Somebody, 3x17)

This might be the most controversial choice on this list, but I’ll stand by it because it is one of my favorites. Yes, Kurt is straining to get to some of those high notes, vocally it’s a bit raw and forced. But my god, it’s one of the most stunning displays of emotion that he ever gets to do. Not only is this song about him, and the type of person he is, it’s also about love, and how Kurt expresses love.

Like so many of his best performances, there are a lot of layers going on here. Not only does it have the emotional intensity that A House is Not a Home did, but it has a razor sharp, singular focus that the other song lacks. Kurt is expressing himself, the best way that he can, to communicate to Blaine -- and the two of them have an unspoken dialogue during the song, which is really incredible. (The acting chops for both Chris and Darren here are really remarkable.) It is the most romantic performance on the list, and one of my favorite moments on the show.

4. The Boy Next Door (Choke, 3x18)

Believe it or not, this is one time I’d actually recommend the studio recording over the show performance. Despite lacking the Gold Lame Pants of Infamy, the studio version really showcases just how amazing this performance is. But anyway - unlike Carmen Tibideaux, who clearly doesn’t know our Kurt Hummel, there is nothing surface level about this performance. And unlike I’m The Greatest Star - this isn’t Kurt trying to shove everything he can do into one performance, it’s showcasing who he is as a person and a performer. Vocally, it’s fantastic, and I’m glad the later seasons allow Kurt to do more songs settled in lower registers - as that part of his vocal range is really quite beautiful. Visually, this is Kurt emulating a bit of Hugh Jackman while retaining some of his own, unique elements. This performance is truly special because it’s a time when Kurt realizes that it’s okay for him to be himself, and lets that shine through song.

3. Rose’s Turn (Laryngitis, 1x18)

Kurt’s first real big solo in the show, and it’s absolutely stunning. The fascinating thing about this one is, again, just how much is going on here. Kurt slowly gets to unravel, shaking off the expectations that he thinks society is putting on him, and blossoming into who he really is. This song is perfect for him as a character in this moment. While the vocals are a little shaky at times (I’m noticing that a lot about season 1 Kurt) the performance is not. We never really get to see Kurt be angry and gritty through song again, but I’m glad we do have this moment to show how it would go. I love everything this number chooses to be, and everything that it says about Kurt, which is why I feel it’s one of his best numbers.

2. Being Alive (Swan Song, 4x09)

There is something kind of magical about this song. And this is the reason that I find it tragic we don’t get an emotionally powerful song from Kurt after this point. (Though - after this point, we don’t get a long going individual Kurt arc either, so I suppose it makes sense.) But here’s the thing about this song... It is Kurt going inside himself, and reflecting on all the pain and heartache that his life has given him, and all the struggles he’s had in the change from child to adult, and almost unknowingly, as the song continues on, getting lost on that emotion as he reflects. It’s very hard for, I believe, for a musical number such as this to work on TV -- that relies on more action and visuals than other mediums. But as I’ve stated in all of these other entries -- Kurt (and Chris, really) is the master of reflecting all these different, conflicting emotions on his face, and making it visually compelling, even if it’s one person in a room, and nothing else going on. The emotion, the complexity, the story is all there in a performance much more mature than anything that had come before it. This is really one of the most beautiful and richly developed performances on the show, and truly one of the best that Kurt has to offer.

1. As If We Never Said Goodbye (Born This Way, 2x18)

I debated for a while which would take the top spot, and what I kept coming back around to was that while Being Alive is the most technically proficient, and deeply profound of Kurt’s solos... As If We Never Said Goodbye is the epitome Kurt’s character and story all wrapped up in one. It is his most iconic solo, and for a reason. It’s all of the emotion, vulnerability, and deeply layered story telling we get so often from Kurt Solos. It perfectly describes the journey this character has been on and where it’s going, as well as just being a fantastic performative piece. It’s helped by the fact that the show allows the whole five minute song to be sung, where we get to follow Kurt as he moves from one stage of his life to the next, again another song about coming out of his shell to reveal his true identity and what is buried in his heart. This song is why I love the character, and why I love his story. The fact that it’s subtle and refined, but having so many layers if you’re willing to look. It’s beautiful and imperfectly perfect, just like Kurt Hummel.

#finding kh #kurt hummel #kurt solos #glee #there ya go!#i'll be getting to the other categories later on this week

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takaraphoenix · 4 years

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 4

1. Favorite character of this season?

Spike. I loved him as the villain in seasons prior, but this is the start of slowly turning good Spike and especially this whacky in-between phase is such a delight. He's clearly not good, but he still involuntarily helps some. Also, lots of tied up Spike, which is a nice visual (sue me).

I love his dynamic with Willow, it's weird. I loooved when he was living with Giles, I adore the snark that goes on between those two, the banter is delightful. Him living with Xander was so much fun. I just really enjoy his journey and season 4 in particular is such a wild ride there.

2. Outstanding minor character (positive or negative)?

HARMONY KENDALL. I love Harmony. I think Harm is an underrated character. Honestly, I mean I am going beyond season 4 here but – she stays herself? She is a vampire, but she is still Harmony. If anything, becoming a vampire actually improved her. Everyone loses their soul and turns into careless killers, she learns self-help books, gets out of an abusive relationship and learns her own worth. Especially under this universe's premise of what vampires are supposed to be and what the bite is supposed to do to a human, I find her character development absolutely fascinating!

3. Favorite character dynamic?

It really is Spike and Giles. What they have is so peculiar, it is peak snarky banter, it is so much fun to watch. In a season I overall didn't like much because of the military nonsense, this was an utter delight and one of the things that still made me love it in a way.

4. Favorite canon romantic ship?

TARA/WILLOW. MY FIRST CANON LESBIANS.

And look, I will not be that easily baited with canon gays generally, but... these two? They were the first lesbians I got to see on screen as a child. The first. They shaped me fundamentally, they mean so much to me on a much deeper level for that because they really were the first time I saw that a girl can like a girl, that a girl doesn't have to like a guy.

Willow's storyline means so much to me, because you can taste the heteronormativity in her early upbringing, everything about her – including Xander and Oz – makes perfect sense to me, as a lesbian who grew up in a heteronormative world. And the gentle, curious manner in which she came out and how she fell in love with Tara, the way those two just... came together, it means so much to me because it meant so much to me growing up.

5. Least favorite canon romantic ship?

Honestly, Riley and Buffy. I just... I care a negative amount about this and considering the fandom discussion is always Buffy/Angel vs Buffy/Spike, I gather the majority of fandom doesn't quite care either. It's just... so boring and plain most of the time? And actively not my cup of tea the rest of the time – when he goes full Good Military Soldier Boi.

6. Favorite episode?

The favorite episode this season was 04x09 Something Blue – it is just... whacky and fun and it gave me my first Spuffy aesthetic. But in a fun way. I really love this episode, there is no evil to fight, just a spell gone wrong with hilarious outcomes.

7. Least favorite episode?

So I have this rating system, where I rate every individual episode something from 1 – really forgettable or really cringey – to 5 – outstandingly favorite episode. Season 1 had one episode in it that was a 1 for me, season 2 had three such episodes, season 3 had four, but season 4 actually has ten of them so that's a bit too much to list them all. There just are too many episodes I didn't enjoy in this season and it greatly links to the fact that I hate the overarching villain of this season – usually the 1 rated episodes end up being dumb filler episodes.

So... I guess the worst offender is the one where they make Oz, of all characters, cheat and then have the morally offended Willow, who had cheated first. I mean, her cheating on Oz does certainly not justify that he cheats on her, but the hypocrisy of it was still very over the top. I really hate that this is how they ended that relationship and that this is how they write Oz out of the show, by making him cheat on her because the animalistic draw is too strong. What a load of crap that was.

8. Favorite Monster Of The Week?

The Gentlemen were delightfully creepy and weird one-off villains who gave their episode such a different flare, it is one of my favorites definitely and they are some of my favorite Buffy villains.

9. Least favorite Monster Of The Week?

I do think another weakness of this season is it's lack of good Monsters Of The Week.

I mean, seriously, this is the season where a bitch demon roommate is trying to steal Buffy's soul? A Poltergeist triggered by Riley/Buffy fucking too much, I mean seriously? A barkeeper who turns people into Neanderthals with beer... And that's not mentioning the awkward Thanksgiving episode where they have a moral dilemma over whether or not the vengeful native American warrior spirit ought to be killed or not because he kinda has a point you know. There aren't many one-off monsters in this season and the majority of them are... not impressive, really.

But I guess if I'd have to pick one, it'd be the “Buffy's sexuality is bad!” episode then. Aka, Buffy and Riley fuck so much that they awaken a Poltergeist, indirectly shaming Buffy once again for her sexuality. Which. Not a good look, you know. Also, just really weird concept there.

10. Rate the overarching villain!

Sucks. Seriously. Every villain is somehow engaging or has something about them that makes them interesting, but the Initiative? It's just the military with its blind, obedient soldier boys who don't question jackshit, which really does account for 50% of the trouble in this season. Walsh could have been a great villain but she was offed barely after being revealed to be a bad guy and then her version of Frankenstein's monster becomes to actual endgame villain and literally nothing about Adam is interesting or appealing or engaging. He ponders philosophical questions, but not in a manner that has you trying to hash them out alongside him, it is awkward and tedious to watch.

Bonus: Other thoughts?

It's just an overall relatively awkward... adjustment phase. I understand that. Seasons 1 to 3 were the high school phase with set roles for everyone. Seasons 5 to 7 are the adult phases. And season 4 is that figuring yourself out season – Giles is without a job, not sure if he is still a watcher, Willow comes to terms with being a lesbian, Oz leaves to figure out the wolf inside of him, Xander goes from job to job not knowing where he fits in, Buffy struggles with where she wants to land in life, Spike is somewhere in the middle between helpful and villain. But if everyone including the overarching plot are 'somewhere in the middle', the entire thing becomes... muddled and awkward.

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Buffy Review #Phoe Watching Buffy #Phoe's Random Show Rants #TV Show Review

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solastia · 4 years

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Author Interview : underthejoon

((If anyone wants to make a cool banner for this, please do. I suck at them))

Today is the debut of a new project. Whether it sticks around for long depends on you guys, but for now the plan is to interview one author a month. Creators are often underappreciated on here (or anywhere, for that matter), so this is me doing my part to connect our readers and writers in a meaningful way. Our first interview is with @underthejoon, someone whose work I myself have enjoyed for many years now. If you enjoyed this interview, please be sure to send in authors you’d like me to talk to for future editions, as well as any specific questions you’d like answered (except for questions about updating, that will get you a ban).

Where can your work be found?

I’m kind of a mess and so while I attempt to cross post, I’m not always great at it. All of my work can be found on my tumblr masterlist but some of my things are on Wattpad and AO3. I’m also underthejoon on both of those platforms.

Links to where readers can donate:

I made a ko-fi account ages ago that I never shared with the public because I’ve always felt guilty. Which is silly, idk why I do. But there it is!

Main bias (and why if you’d like)

So!! I have always been a Namjoon bias. From the very first time I saw them/the very first song I heard I was like yes, you. You are the one, I’m a goner!! He’s so wonderful and unique. He’s very mindful and creative and such a beacon of light to me. Plus, he’s very open with his humanity, if that makes sense? Like he is open about his therapy, his feelings about his perceived shortcomings, his excitement about finding place and things and works of art that inspire him. ALSO THOUGH, in the last year or so I’ve also become a Hoseok bias. He is just so dedicated and loving. He’s insanely talented and vastly underrated, in my opinion. And through all the back breaking work, he is kind through and through. He’s seriously just so warm and makes me really happy.

Hogwarts House :

Okay, the very first time I ever took it I was a slytherin. A few years later, I took it again and got hufflepuff. I like to think I’m a combination of the two but can see myself as more of a puff.

Describe yourself in five words:

Creative, Extroverted, Empathetic, Intuitive, Inquisitive

Current favorite BTS songs:

SO MANY, but I’ll pick 7 for 7 members. Some of these are old as hell but still currently my favorite lol. Love Maze, Love is Not Over, Outro: Her, Dimple, Tomorrow, Like, 2!3!

What was the defining moment when you decided, “Yes! I am going to write the thing!”?

For like fanfic in general? I feel like I had been reading a lot of it after “discovering” k-pop and then after a few months I was just like fuck it, I’m doing it!! I was always super into writing poetry and never thought I would be any good at anything like this but it sounded fun so here we are now.

What do you most enjoy about writing BTS fanfiction specifically?

I think it’s the community of writers. When I started my blog, I met a lot of really amazing supportive writers that I’ve managed to stay friends with and I think that makes a really big difference when you have people that can relate to you and what you’re doing.

Any tropes or au’s that you want to explore later?

I would really like to try writing some sort of supernatural creature fics. I’ve had this werewolf love triangle universe planned out forever that I would like to eventually write. Maybe like a workplace romance?

Which of your fics would you suggest for new readers?

For a completed series i’d say Piece by Piece. My WIP series, Love is Not Over is another one. For a one-shot I’d say, For You. Maybe the sweetness/make it right drabbles too.

Which of your fics is your favorite?

Piece by Piece, no doubt. I really feel proud of it and I have a hard time admitting I like anything I write.

What other fandoms do you wish you had the time to write for?

I used to write for EXO, Got7 and sometimes Monsta X and I miss it sometimes but also, I feel pretty contented in just writing for BTS. There’s a lot of inspiration there and I always felt I was being pulled in too many directions by my readers when I wrote for multiple fandoms.

What are your writing goals for the upcoming year?

I’d like to finish three series I have planned, get caught up on my collab fics and at least finish an outline for my original fiction piece I’ve been putting off!

Which writers do you read religiously?

There’s so many amazing writers on tumblr and I try as hard as I can to keep up with my mutuals when they put stuff out but sometimes it’s hard! I’m gonna be really brief because otherwise my list could go on and on. Okay, first and foremost, Shanna (@kpopfanfictrash) - she’s my best friend and a fabulous, wonderful writer. I would just like to give her a special shout out because not only does she entertain me for hours with her writing, she is very supportive of mine. Other authors I adore as humans and content creators and keep up with most regularly are @floralseokjin and @lamourche !

What is the weirdest thing you’ve had to google in the name of writing?

LOL. Hmm… I’m really boring and feel like I don’t really google that much when writing except maybe like different sex positions when i need a visual or synonyms to certain words. I’ve found some good porn though? Because visuals do help me.

Reader/OC fics within this fandom are often still looked down on and we all have to work hard to make them good enough for readers to look past their reputation. How do you combat the cringe?

TBH, I don’t think that responsibility lies on us as writers. If people don’t like certain types of writing, that’s on them and they can avoid it. Reader insert/oc fics are just as valid a genre as any. I’ve read some of the most beautiful, creative stories on this platform, some of which could be published if names were changed/reader was switched to a named OC. There’s something out there for everyone and it’s all subjective. While I might find certain things super cringey, others love it. To each their own as long as they aren’t shoving it in the faces of the people they’re writing about or being disrespectful, you know?

What is your personal guilty (or not-so-guilty) pleasure trope?

MUTUAL PINING/FRIENDS TO LOVERS. I feel like it’s so basic but I fucking love that trope and I think so many people do it so beautifully it is my absolute favorite.

What is something that you see often in other fanfics that drives you insane?

I think the only thing that really bothers me is when people romanticize abuse or other toxic/triggering topics.

Are any of the boys or ships more difficult for you to write than others?

I think I have the hardest time writing for Jimin and Taehyung but only because I feel I am the most similar to them and for whatever reason that deters me from writing about them often.

We all think we are the most hilarious person there is (even if we won’t admit it), so what is one line or scenario of yours that you like to go back to and giggle over?

Okay this was actually really difficult for me because I don’t write like any humor and don’t think I’m good at LOL. I think my only attempt at humorous writing was The New Guy in which the reader is high off her ass lying on the front lawn and thinking the world is ending then accusing Namjoon of being the Grim Reaper when he comes looking for her.

ONLY IF YOU WANT TO - A scenario as long or short as you want. Maybe 250 words or less. Godzilla is attacking the city and BTS is your rescue crew. How screwed are you?

“D-danger, you say?” Seokjin stutters.

“G-giant lizard monster headed this way?” Hoseok chokes.

The pair exchange glances then turn their focus towards you. Seokjin jerks his head towards the door and you nod in return.

“I hear what you’re saying, gentlemen,” Hoseok says as he stands on shaky legs. He grabs your hand as if to instruct you to do the same.

“And as much as we would LOVE to help you…” His grip is tighter now and you know what comes next.

Before he can finish, Seokjin shoots up from his chair and makes a mad dash towards the door. “Now, now, run, holy shit, NOW!”

Hoseok joins his friend in his haste to evacuate, dragging your nearly petrified form behind him. “No way in hell are we getting anywhere near that thing!”

Seokjin and Hoseok babble horrified nonsense between them but you can’t really decipher much of it. Your heart is pounding in your ears as you replay the name “Godzilla” in your brain.

They wanted you to rescue the city? What were they thinking?

When you reach Seokjin’s car, you have a brief moment of clarity. There are lives at stake, after all. How can you really just abandon the city when it needs a hero?

“What about everybody else?” you ask, voice small and fearful.

“Everybody else?” Seokjin huffs, putting the car in gear. He hardly gives your question a thought before he peels out of the parking lot. “Jungkook can handle everybody else. I raised him on my back, you know? It’s the least he can do!”

#bangtan bards #bts #bts writers #underthejoon #bts fanfic #bts authors #solastia #author interview

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hallaevak · 4 years

Text

skam thoughts

hi ok i’m bored n sick so i’m here to give my (maybe unpopular? idk) thoughts on skam + remakes. i have seen most* remakes, but i’ll mention if i have not seen a particular season or not

first off: basic opinions (favorite remakes, favorite characters, etc)

fav jonas/eva remake:

- skam nl (kes/isa) - isa is, in my opinion, the most relatable eva remake. she’s so sassy and lovable! in general i’m not the biggest fan of the season 1 plot, but i think all jonas/eva pairings, chemistry wise, have been phenomenal. isa/kes are just a little bit more impressive in my opinion.

fav noorhelm remake

- this will be of no shock, as this is quite a popular opinion, but wtfock (senne and zoë). most william remakes kind of suck, and the general character dynamic between noora and william is not something i like. i enjoy the plot but a lot of williams are just...ew. i’m interesting in skam españa interpretation (nora and alejandro) but i can’t fully judge their season until it’s over. zoë is such a wonderful character and senne is actually not a dick! i sobbed when they broke up in s3.

fav evak remake

- i’m tied. either skam france/wtfock. i love the (for some reason controversial) dynamic between sander and robbe. i also love elu, like the basic bitch i am. elliott demaury OWNS me.

fav youssana remake

- honestly, i kind of didn’t like any of them (that are released). there’s only two out there, druck and skam france, and i didn’t like any. i’m sorrryyyy i just love sana bakkoush and no one could ever be better than her. oof! disclaimer i have not watched all of amira’s season/druck s4. i wasn’t personally interested but the acting was phenomenal.

alright now to remake-specific comments.

SKAM, the original, the og, love of my life, scandi legend that started this obsession

- honestly one of the best teen shows i’ve ever seen. the development of characters is so prominent. the acting, for mostly amateur teenagers, is mind blowing. maybe american shows just suck? but i’m absolutely in love with every character. they show such realistic stories and i applaud the skam team + actors for portraying their stories so well.

- the one comment i have is the noorhelm relationship. i just? i don’t like it. when i first watched skam i loved it. noora was hilarious (still think that) and the perfect independent woman model. i also liked william. i just wished they showed more of his vulnerability because his kind of static character is not doing it for me. he doesn’t show any evolution or change. idk, he’s still a wet fish in my eyes. obv this has no shade to the actors, thomas hayes is lovely. his character? not so much. i could write a whole essay on how flawed and dislikable william is.

now, the first remake: skam france

skam france, oui oui baguettes this remake really tickles my fancy

- as someone who kind of understands french, i really do like this remake. i have some issues with s1 and s2 but overall it is a solid remake. being the first, it makes sense for the seasons to seems little unoriginal. i still love emma and manon but their characters aren’t very authentic.

- s3 is where they really nailed it. elu’s immense popularity is only a testament to how truly wonderful the season is. the acting, the characters, slight changes in plot. i loved it. a lot.

- i wasnt impressed by s4 but it might just be my extreme love for iman meskini. no one could ever replace her.

- BUT S5. OH BOY. ROBIN. MY BABY. he is such a good actor and i love arthur he MUST be protected! i love that his shame is not romantically related. also as someone who is interested in deaf culture wow! i’m impressed by the research done by skam france. not only is his the first original season but it is excellently executed. noee is my mother i love her.

druck, likely the most liked remake to which i do not disagree with that statement

- druck is legendary. i really appreciate the small changes in plot and character dynamics that create an identity for each remake and druck is so so good at doing that. mia’s season is lovely and so is matteo’s, as well as the other two. i did not finish amira’s season as wtfock s3 started and i was a little too invested in that haha but i liked what i saw. the mia/noora drama annoyed me but it was okay. i saw it in the way how we all beg for evak/elu/nicotino/etc content in later seasons but then complain when noorhelm/jonas and eva content occur in later seasons, which is weird at best or just fetishization of gay couples at worst. take ur pick. i like it when previous plot lines kind of intertwine into the current ones as it shows that people’s shakes are not temporary and have immense effects on others (which is the point of skam, right?

skam italia, the controversial remake that said bye and then uno-reversed itself (thanks netflix)

- a lot of people don’t like skam italia. it’s understandable, as the actress for sana is not a woc or muslim. however, it is slightly understandable (but not defendable, i was way too disappointed when i found this out) given italy and it’s cultural background. it astonished me that they could even produce an isak remake due to their pretty strong religious beliefs. italy is very much roman catholic, and gay marriage isn’t even legal there (this is the only skam where gay marriage is not legalized). so i give them major props to facing potential backlash in producing s2/marti’s season. it makes sense for there to not be a muslim/woc actress because of the demographics in italy. ww1 and ww2 really spun a number on italy’s race, as many jews and romas as well as pretty much any non-italian ethnicity were kicked out. this creates barriers especially when it comes to hiring a woc actress. skam italia is already breaking barriers when it came to controversial topics (literally all of skam would be controversial in italy’s alt-right view, it seems). tl;dr: kudos for being able to produce a pro-gay show but shame for not being able to hire a woc actess.

- i loved marti’s season as was a fan of the other two seasons. they’re well produced and beautiful and more dramatic than the other skams imo! the soundtrack is absolutely gorgeous.

skam austin, the american cousin no one seems to like that really lives up to the american stereotype

- ok. when i first saw austin/the fact that they made an american remake, i hated it. disgusting. i hâte america as it is. it was cringey, the acting was bad (i’m sorry i’m sorry), and it got rid of the charm that skam had.

- when i watched it a second time around, i changed my mind. i think grace’s season redeemed it a lil bit. it’s living proof that skam remakes must be watched twice or more to fully formulate an opinion. it’s still cringey but i mean, it’s very accurate to american culture. i’m ashamed to say that i, an american, have said many phrases that austin has used.

- skam austin isn’t THAT bad as people make it out to be. i think americans esp are uncomfortable with a skam from their own culture, myself included. and it’s fine to not vibe with it and prefer other skam remakes. i think the actors are okay, better when i saw it the second time, and the editing/music/videography is beautiful (ofc julie andem is a part of it). people give it crap for being american.

skam nl, may she rest in peace or pull an italia and 180 us

- man i was so depressed when i heard that lucas vdh was not getting his season. lucas is downright one of my favorite isak remakes and his story would’ve been so interesting.

- besides that, skam italia has one of the best eva seasons. it is my favorite and is usually a lot of others favorites as well. isa is just so relatable. liv’s season is also incredibly well produced. i didn’t hate noah! it was a miracle come true. he redeemed the william character if only for one remake.

- my one comment/critic isn’t even that serious. it’s just? dutch? it sounds so...weird. i’m a stupid american but i cracked up at things that were definitely NOT jokes because of the language. i’m sorry netherlands/holland i do not mean to laugh.

skam españa, also controversial for good reasons but also conflictingly good

- alright folks. i am confused with skam españa. i don’t know if i love it or like it.

- hear me out. we all know of the controversy with the panphobic comment that nora made. it was stupid and uncalled for and really disrespected the whole pan community of viewers. now, not many people are pan but for a show where an original character (even bech næsheim, love of my life) is canonically pan? it was kind of a slap to the face.

- besides the comment i loved cris’ season. it was refreshing to get an isak season where it was a she, one, and where isak was not living with his eskild but instead had a family. it was also beautifully shot and i love irene with my entire heart.

- that said, i liked eva’s season. nora’s season is interesting. maybe it’s because it’s the first i’ve watched multiple seasons live (españa and france) and have no attention span and is more interested in skam france s5? idk. the clips aren’t really doing it for me. i love the viri clips but the nora clips are eh. she just seems very...in genuine? idk. i also hate miquel get his ugly ass out of here. i can’t fully analyze the season until it’s over but i’m not really interested in it. i also don’t like the noorhelm plot or dynamic at all so that may be it.

wtfock, or another controversial remake that imo shouldn’t be controversial

- wow. i love wtfock. s1 was rocky and i wasn’t sure of how it would be. s2 SLAPPED ME THRU THE ROOF. god i love senne de smet so much. zoë is actually redeemable??? and oh my god milan is my favorite eskild like please adopt me.

- season 3 was the first one i watched live. i arrived to the skam scene late so i didn’t get to experience march madness aka 5 live skams at once and i wish i did. but wow. willem ds and willem h really are one of the main reasons why wtfock s3 did so well. they’re amazing actors with incredibly chemistry.

- the controversy that imo should be controversy: the gay bashing scene. i was surprised at the backlash. people were upset over the fact that they showed such...intense events without immediate remediation. it’s understandable to be mad but? they were criticizing things that had no correlation with the scene, like the willems’ acting or the music picked. it was very wild. they also did a lot of bitching about how lgbt people should see gay bashing because it’ll bring back bad memories and that skam was for the gays only and should cater for only lgbt people. which i heavily disagree with. 1) gay bashing in media is so prevalent and downright important. things can’t be fluffy gay all the time. this happens in real life and does such a great complement to noor’s comment about how no one cares that robbe is gay because it’s 2019. THAT. IS. SO. IMPORTANT. it’s so so important to realize that despite the strides made for lgbt people, gay bashing and violent homophobia. still. exist. also. i would like to direct you to these examples of gay bashing where no one blinked an eye : queer as folk, where s1 justin gets bashed in at his prom and has difficulties drawing; s2 (i think? may be s1) skam españa where lucas rubio gets bashed; skam s4 where even and isak encounter a homophobic dick; these examples are endless. the one thing that miffed me the most was that many critics acted as if they were forced to watch wtfock and therefore criticize its every move. like no? you have a choice? no one is forcing you. quite the opposite! wtfock is geoblocked! you’re actually forcing yourself because you’re taking the time to find illicit resources in order to watch it! alright man i’m done with this rant. many also criticized the writing of the show. it was shaky but watching it a 2nd time, where all clips were released, was so much better when it came to clarity. many ‘poor writing choices’ made sense in the larger picture. again another example that you should watch skam remakes twice to understand the big picture.

- tl;dr wtfock is lovely and should not be criticized for one wrong move.

thank u for hearing me out. i have strong opinions but a frail heart. pls be nice!

#skam #skam france #druck #skam italia #skam espana #wtfock #skam nl #skam austin #evak #elu #sobbe #skam is my love

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olderthannetfic · 4 years

Photo

You’ve probably heard of that film version of The Magnificent Seven from a couple of years ago. Maybe you know it’s based on a film from 1960, which is itself a remake of Seven Samurai.

But if you’re like 99% of fandom or even that guy I know who worked on the 2016 version, you probably don’t know that there was also a TV series starring, among other people, Ron Perlman.

(This came up because said dude and I were working on another Western starring Ron Perlman. A sucky one though. Alas, I cannot pimp it.)

Mag7, as it is usually called in fandom, was quite the little slash fandom in its day, yet it is nearly forgotten by newer fans. The show aired for two seasons from 1998-2000.

It’s one of those shows I bought, sight unseen, so I could catch up on older fandoms. I ended up liking it more or less, but I don’t think canon has aged well. It’s too bloodless for the era it came out in while making a pretense at covering serious, dark shit. It has neither the standing sets of old Western TV nor the big budgets of the 2010s Western revival. It’s too white. The one black lead gets relegated to token status along with all Native characters. The treatment of women is laughable, from the Happy Hooker stuff (gah!) to the time they try to teach the tomboy to be more girly so she can get the young dude in the cast (ragescream!). It feels more in line with what I’d expect a Western to look like in 1988 than 1998, especially on the heels of the far more inventive The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. in 1993.

Fanlore says that Mag7 suffers because current fandom is not into Westerns, but my problem is that I am far too into Westerns, and this show is not a good one.

OTOH, there is a lot of material here to work with, and work with it fans did!

It’s a super interesting fandom for a fandom historian because of how intensely AU-infested it is. Maybe you’ve heard something about “ATF-verse”? That’s a Mag7 thing. It’s not just regular AUs: The fandom is full of these shared universes with established rules for writers who want to play in them.

The “Seven” are:

Chris Larabee: The black-clad, taciturn loner with... wait for it... a dead wife and child.

Vin Tanner: The soft-spoken woobie, sentenced to death for a crime he did not commit, who has spent time amongst the Indian tribes. (It is every bit as cringey as you think.) Fandom’s #1 fave, natch.

J.D. Dunne: Horrid little twerp with a terrible hat. I wanted to stab him every time he was on screen. x100 whenever he was interacting with a woman.

Buck Wilmington: Played by Dale Midkiff of Time Trax fame! (What? Everyone important, by which I mean me, loved Time Trax!) He is Chris’s old friend and polar opposite, a jolly, good-humored man raised by a prostitute mother. Ladies, including the working girls, love him. Also he gets fake dead more than once, so he’s clearly the BEST character, and fandom ought to have loved him the best too! >:(

Josiah Sanchez: Ron Perlman plays a wacky preacher and ex-gunfighter. Is he haunted by his past? Does he make woo-woo philosophical proclamations about this? Does this show love its ubiquitous Western cliches? (Don’t answer that.)

Ezra Standish: If Vin is the quiet, soft-spoken woobie, Ezra is the woobie who hides his Tragic Pain under a mask of charm and cheer. He’s the one with the rapidfire con artist patter, the fancy suits, and the Southern accent. He has a complicated relationship with his con artist mother. His wardrobe is a thousand times prettier than anyone else’s, and he crossdresses at some point. Naturally, he is fandom’s other darling after Vin. Possibly the #1 darling in ATF-verse.

Nathan Jackson: Nathan is a former slave and a doctor. He has a girlfriend in the local Seminole village and not enough to do on the show.

Other characters include a sad widow for Chris to have sad dead partner angst at, the judge who sends them on missions, and, in the pilot, that guy who played Harper in Sharpe. The judge is played by Robert Vaughn, which I 100% did not realize until I was looking at wikipedia just now!

Anyway, standard Western hijinks happen. The mystery of Chris’s wife’s death is eventually solved as angstily as possible. Chris pretends to kill Buck as part of a ruse at one point, making them my ship of choice. (What?) J.D. and the local tomboy get set up by all the other characters, causing me to want to stab not only them but also myself in the eye.

COME AT ME BRO!

Oops. I’m supposed to be promoting Escapade, not starting fights about old tv shows. Anyway, I think the canon has some issues, but the fic... let me tell you, there are no words more likely to attract me to a fandom than “presumed dead”, and Mag7 fandom delivered, not only in the slash but in the gen. I have no idea, years later, where to find any of those fics or even which ones I read, but I remember there was self-indulgent melodrama and it was GREAT.

Sweet, sweet idfic, come to Mama!

I would link you to a vid, but as Fanlore hilariously confirms for me, there are like no good vids in this fandom. They did eventually release it on DVD, but the image quality is... uh... not great. Oh, wait, I did love this lulzy het vid about ladies being thirsty for Buck.

youtube

Actually, that’s a total lie. I have gone looking for Mag7 vids repeatedly for the Escapade dance party. Excavating my old spreadsheets, I see a bunch of interesting ones, like this slash vid of Nathan/Ezra. The Southern gentleman and the black guy are an obvious cliche teamup for Westerns, but the fandom rarely went there. This vid is great though! The only reason I’ve never played it is that no one at the con ships this.

youtube

Past Escapade panels include:

2001 - True pairings and permutations (Who are the "right" couples, and what other combinations are remotely possible? Video excerpts for newcomers.)

2003 - AUs! Crutch or creative lifeblood? (Are ATF stories a creative extension of the universe or a cop-out by folks too lazy to do their historical research?)

2004 - The Multiverse (Where canon is a formulaic retread of a remake of a classic, the critical mass of fan creativity has exploded in fascinating and bizarre ways. Often, richly textured parallel universes seem more attractive than stories based on the original source material. From conflict over "closed" AUs to creative in-breeding, what's really going on in the Mag 7 multiverse?) [HAH, EVEN YOU GUYS AGREE WITH ME.]

2005 - Where has the Old West gone? (Magnificent Seven has it all! Seven sexy men, horses, the old west, guns, adventure, right and wrong, you name it! So why isn't there more Old West fic? Why all the modem and future AUs? Where do we go from here?)

2006 - Cowboys- Real Life v. Fantasy (From Magnificent Seven to Brokeback Mountain, from John Wayne toughness to curtain fic. What's reel? What's fun? And how much reality do we want in our fun?)

2007 - Chris Larabee: Tragic Hero or Pig-Headed Bastard? (How worthy is Chris to lead the Seven? Does he lead them because he believes in protecting the weak an innocent, or because it strokes his ego? Does he truly value Buck's friendship and support? Vin's? Anyone's?)

2008 - M7: Need Topic! by Megan Kent [LOL]

2011 - Mag 7: Deader Than a Beaver Hat (They're gorgeous. They're archetypes. Lots of other fandoms have less to work with. So, what the hell?)

2012 - My Paring is OK. Your Pairing Sucks! (In a fandom famous for pairing wars, let's get it all out in the open and put it to bed. Come and defend your pairing of choice, and enjoy others doing the same. Inflatable lightsabers, laughter, and the ability not to take yourself seriously. All welcome.)

2013 - What holds the gang together? (The deal was simple: a dollar a day, plus room and board, for a month. And now they've been together *how* long? What holds these seven loners together over the long haul? All pairings, all points of view. Bring story recs to share.) [Duct tape. The answer is always duct tape.]

Mag7 on Fanlore (including links to many smaller archives)

Mag7 on AO3

Mag7 on FFN

#escapade 2020 #escapade con #fandom history #mag7

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writinginthedarkwood · 4 years

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Mightest thou spare a crumb of matchup? I’m about 5 foot 6, 125 pounds, black hair, really pale skin. My sense of humor is just inserting vine quotes into completely abnormal situations, and I’m cringey enough to yell in Japanese at my dogs. I write smutty fanfics (@bakuwhore-sama lmao). I have been kicked out of family functions for arguing about politics I am genuinely clueless about. Also I really don’t ever want kids, and leaving the house is miserable. Fave food is sushi.

(Can I just say that I'm like, dying that you're bakuwhore-sama? I've read a fic of yours before... I hope you like this 😭🎉)

Your crumb of a match up is......

A Loveable Wacko... Mei Hatsume!

It took me a bit of time to think about this one, but I have no doubt in my mind that the two of you are soul mates!

Mei finds you adorable and funny. Not cringey! For awhile she thought your vine insert comments were actually your own thoughts. She's a hard worker and doesn't spend a lot of time on the internet.

Mei: So in the workshop today I was sitting there-

You: Barbecue sauce on my titties.

Mei.....

She can't help but think your sense of humor is hilarious? I mean how random!

When you actually showed her where all of your "random" thoughts came from (2 hours of vine compilations on youtube later) she started trying to add her own references in front of you.

Mei: *walking away after something she was building blew up*

You: *coughing, used to the shenanigans but it still sucks*

Mei: Hurricane hyper shock absorption braces? More like hurricane tortilla!

Mei will back you up on any claim at any time ALWAYS. You're arguing with family members over something ridiculous and they're not seeing your point of view? Oh Mei is RIGHT THERE ready to fight.

Does she have any idea what you're talking about? Probably not. Is she going to beat their ass?

Yes.

Honestly, leaving the house DOES suck. By the time Mei is finally home, she's exhausted. She is constantly using that big brain of hers and getting tossed around by her own inventions. If you want to just stay home, hang out with the pets and cuddle? That sounds awesome she could use some relaxation time.

When the two of you do go out your dates are usually food oriented. You like to try out new resteraunts together and really pick each others brains. Mei has a bit of an obsessive personality, and it's not usually centered to other people. She's very self minded, but YOU? You're her person, the one she actually feels like understands her. She loves hearing what you have to say, and loves it even more how much praise you give her for her hard work. You let her ramble about what she's up too, and that means so much to her.

She supports your interests too! She thinks its great that you're a writer. She doesn't always have a lot of time to read, but she still wants your efforts to feel appreciated and she reminds you all the time how wonderful you are.

Who needs kids Mei has 100's of "babies" and you two treat your puppies like kids anyway so no big deal or disagreement there.

You two are a really goofy and sweet couple, you might feel like you're strange but she thinks you're perfect!

#inthewoods matchups #mei hatsume #bnha fluff #bnha fluffvember #bnha imagines #bnha imagine #mha x reader

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dear-wormwoods · 5 years

Note

I'm just curious can you list the losers club from your favorite to least favorite and explain why

Ohhh this is so hard and here’s why: Richie and Eddie are constantly rotating who is in the top spot depending on like... my mood, or what I’m thinking or writing about the most. I know that probably comes as a surprise given that most of my meta is so Eddie focused? But god I just love Richie so much. It’s a head vs. heart thing with them, honestly. A year ago I would’ve absolutely said Eddie first because I was constantly churning out meta about him, but RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT the order is:

1. Richie. Gonna go with my heart on this one - I have a big giant weakness for funny-charming characters/people, so Richie has always been like, the “if I was gonna marry one of the Losers” choice since I first read the book in high school. And Richie has so much depth, but you have to really read between the lines to find it, so his chapters are fun in that way, too. I love him for the same reasons Eddie does - his “sometimes enchanting, sometimes exhausting charm”, his ambition, his willingness to go with the flow, his devotion to his friends, his intelligence, his fascination with music and theatrics, and also the way he’s just sort of an enigma. And then obviously Bill Hader, a long-time celebrity crush, had to come along and fulfill my wildest dreams by taking the role and pouring his soul into it. Lastly, in terms of writing, I have the most fun writing Richie. I write Eddie’s POV a lot more (on the rare occasions I write fic) because it comes more naturally, but I actually get the most fulfillment from writing Richie.

2. Eddie. If my heart belongs to Richie, my brain belongs to Eddie. I have spent countless hours analyzing every god damn word in his chapters and I think about him nearly constantly. He’s always been the Loser I relate to the most, but not because of his home life or anything (my parents are actually a lot like Richie’s - my dad is hilarious and my mom is just great, but as a kid/teen they didn’t get me at all because I turned out way weirder and more annoying than they anticipated and it was a Struggle to communicate lmao). Anyway, I relate to Eddie’s personality a lot, and just how his brain works. I too am always stuck in my own head, emotional and overly self-critical, historically reluctant to take risks because it’s safer to be stagnant, will bend over backwards to take care of other people to the point of not doing anything for myself because of codependent tendencies, etc etc. Analyzing Eddie gives me a lot of intellectual fulfillment and also helps me reflect on myself. This is why I refuse to baby him and try to explore and examine his flaws and mistakes. He’s the most complex character in the story and inherently so Brave and Good. (sidenote: I hate saying really positive things right after saying that I relate to him because it feels arrogant and like I’m saying that about myself, too, which I’m definitely not. Does anyone else get like that? Like, you relate to a character and openly praise them, but then feel like a giant asshole because you inadvertently said something nice about yourself by loving on a character you relate to?)

3. Ben. I love reading Ben’s chapters so much, he’s such a well-developed character and I feel his chapters are almost on par with Eddie’s in terms of being a joy to read and having a very distinct tone. If Eddie’s the guiding light of the group, Ben is the engineer. He has this sort of deep and natural self-confidence that I love. He’s got his hobbies, his books, and he’s just chillin’. He’s very self conscious about his body, but he’s SO confident about his mind and his heart. I’ve always found it fascinating that Ben’s IT manifestations are so impersonal and very typical movie-monster type shit, and I think it’s because he really doesn’t fear much. He doesn’t need to. He knows what he’s capable of and he doesn’t stop to ruminate about it, he just fucking does it. IT can’t really touch that. Also, as Richie’s mirror, he automatically gets a high spot on the list - we stan wildly successful but deeply lonely guys who spent their youth pining in secret.

4. Mike. I know a lot of people find the Derry Interludes boring, but I really love being able to dive into Mike’s stream of consciousness journal keeping. He’s truly the lighthouse keeper, and that’s a rough fucking gig. His love of lore and history is so relatable, though. And I love his relationship with his parents, especially with Will, and it’s great to have a prominent example of positive parenting to combat against the likes of Sonia, Alvin, and Butch Bowers. Mike really loves his parents and the Losers, and he’s so smart and sensitive and GOOD, even in the face of near-constant racism and 27 years of exhausting and lonely detective work. My only wish for him is to fucking leave Derry and finally relax.

5. Bev. I really love Bev, but she’s lower on the list because I find her to be a pretty underdeveloped character in the novel. This is mostly because Stephen King truly sucks at writing women, but knowing that doesn’t stop me from just not feeling super engaged with her chapters. In theory, Bev is great - and she was/will be great in the movies, too. She’s Eddie’s mirror, so admittedly a lot of my affection for her stems from that and the joy I get from examining their parallels (particularly in terms of how IT targets them both with their sexuality and dirtiness/cleanliness).

6. Bill. I have never really been super invested in Bill. It’s just like... too glaringly obvious that he’s a self-insert for Stephen King, so he falls flat a lot of the time, for me. Sometimes I like to think that’s intentional, because we get so much of seeing Bill through the Losers’ eyes with all their idolization and projection, so the “real Bill” never really stood a chance of living up to that image. Other times all I see is a self-insert. But I do really love the way his guilt over Georgie’s death is explored and how that guilt leads him to be selfishly single-minded in his quest for vengeance. I just wish more time was spent on that in his adult chapters and less on that cringey hotel sex scene.

7. Stan. Stan is last but I certainly don’t dislike him. It’s just... I’m really sorry but I think Stan is a super overrated character. I love his scene with the Standpipe and the drowned kids, and I think his friendships with Eddie and Bev are not given enough attention, and I love Stanpat, but overall... I just don’t think about him all that much. I’m really only able to get invested in Stan if it’s in relation to Patty. They just wanted a baby and a happy life, Mike.

This turned into such a fucking ramble. Hopefully it’s what you were looking for! 😬

#asks #stephen king's IT #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #ben hanscom #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #bill denbrough #stanley uris #losers club

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bereft-of-frogs · 4 years

Note

Not that I think Kylo was irredeemable it something, but I honestly don’t think he redeemed himself, or even like... tried to. In the Last Jedi he sort of kind of pauses when Leia almost dies, but then plows on killing people. Then in this most recent movie he pauses, gets stabbed and is put in a position where he can’t really kill anyone else, only for Han to show up and they talk, ignoring the fact that last time Han tried that Kylo killed him. Then Kylo rushes off to kill Palpatine. (Part 1)

(Part 2, sorry it got long) basically Kylo was planning on killing Papletine anyways and always wanted to rule(marry/date?) Rey. Like if Rey has turned Sith, I feel like that end would have played out the exact same way. So basically I’m sitting here like: Kylo never actually redeemed himself (saving a girl who you tried to kill multiple times and tortured and killed her friends doesn’t really count in my mind. Like it’s a start ?maybe??). Anyways I generally respect your opinion so I was...

(Part 3) (sorry...). Anyways I was wondering if you could explain why you thought Kylo had redeemed himself. I feel like you’re less likely to be in my face about how it’s cause he was actually Good All Along or some other weird reason.

- - - -

Okay folks, the thing is...I really don’t want to talk about Star Wars. I really don’t. That’s probably sounds kind of asshole-ish but this is a nicer response than I just had with my real life friends. (To be fair, that conversation *started* with Friend 1: “oh how did you like that godawful movie?” Friend 2: “ugh that was such a bad movie” and every time I was like ‘well I liked-’ they came back with ‘ugh but what really made it bad was...’ until I just kind of snapped and was like I Do Not Want To Talk About This.) Like, maybe one day I’ll want to participate more in the actual fandom (unlikely, but it’s possible) but for right now, I just. Can’t. So this is the one and only ask I am answering publicly about this. I’m going to talk briefly about what I was referring to this morning and then just go back to the world where I just...watch the movies and participate in no other way.

So what I was really referring to this morning were the posts that referred to Kylo Ren/Ben Solo as irredeemable (which I personally believe that no one is ever irredeemable) and people who ship Reylo as ‘crazy’ or ‘disgusting’ or anything that refers to them as clowns. (I really hate the clown thing? I don’t know why maybe because I don’t like clowns in general but I’ve seen ‘clowns’ tossed around a lot lately and I’m like...oof) That doesn’t necessarily mean I think that the plotline was perfect. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have liked to see certain things done differently.

And I don’t think Kylo Ren ‘redeemed himself.’ Because he died. They killed him off. You’re right, it was a perhaps start, but the storytellers decided not to allow that character to continue to work towards reconciliation. And even if he did live, that might not make for a good film. Because the actual work of reconciliation, including what people put in ‘what a redemption arc should be’ type posts, is a lot of quiet, slow work. So films tend to go with one large, dramatic moment at the climax of the story. Tied to a personal reasons, maybe not precisely for the right reasons, but getting one last choice and choosing to do the right thing (and then, unfortunately, they usually die, but that sucks)...

Just like Darth Vader.

I think that’s something that really inspired that post. Just that...having seen the movie I’m puzzled by the intensity of the negative reaction to the character. Because I overall think he was fairly...middle of the road in terms of Star Wars villains and his story was clearly echoing Anakin’s/Vader’s...and also Rey and Ben had...a wayyy more interesting dynamic than Anakin and Padme in the prequels. I mean low bar but still. I was livetexting my brother about that today, Attack of the Clones is kind of hilariously cringey in that regard. Examples to try to be humorous in the middle of my slightly moody post:

And like. I know people hated the prequels and I’m sure that there were people that were annoyed when Return of the Jedi came out but...I don’t know, I guess what I see here is a character/pairing with potential that could be interesting to explore further but also has a terrifying, really intense, concentrated negative energy around it and that’s kind of what puzzles me.

There’s probably more I could say about this. I definitely don’t think he was ‘good all along’ but I do think he struggled with wanting to make good decisions but consistently defaulting to fear, and desire for power, and the dark side. So I think that’s the purpose of those little flickers of uncertainty in the last movie, and this one. Leading up to his final, definitive turn towards the light, a last noble act, and, if he lived, a long road of learning how to be a better person, to make ‘good’ decisions. (And he’d probably make more mistakes. He’d probably sometimes do the right thing for the wrong reasons. That’s what this struggle is about.) I don’t know. I just think it’s interesting.

Anyway! That is it for me and the Star Wars discourse! Sorry! Officially last word! Sorry!

#star wars discourse #i'm okay with have a shallow enjoyment of this one #i just like watching the movies #and the original clone wars shorts #which are not on disney+ apparently! boo!#also I was really into jedi academy when i was a kid #ugh so good #some things you just want to enjoy in a vaccuum right? that's star wars for me #Anonymous

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hati-skoll · 5 years

Text

Let Me Fill You(r Prompt)

Written for the @ignoctsecretsanta for @battle-goats I’m so sorry this is so late! The ending might be a little abrupt, I’ll probably update it in a bit, but I wanted you to have something first!

[AO3]

Noctis rips open a bag of enoki mushrooms. He gallantly pounds a clove of garlic into submission. Then he manfully wrestles an onion apart and accordingly cries himself a river, because what the fuck am I even writing I don’t even know someone save me.

Unfortunately, the astrals aren’t capable of sending down bolts of inspiration the way they’re wont to do with lightning. Noctis gets only so far before he admits to himself that he’s in over his head with this hilariously pitiful attempt at writing food porn. It’s… very… uninspired. He squints at the three sentences he’s typed, they’re… uh, well… alright, they suck. It sucks. How does one prepare food… sexily?

He tries to picture in his mind how Ignis works the kitchen, how his painfully suave advisor deftly slices up slabs of meat, a comfortable grip on the knife's handle; how he expertly kneads dough, muscles taut along his forearm; how he handles that intimidatingly large iron wok he keeps on the top shelf of Noctis’ kitchen, flicking his wrist with an enviable grace that Noctis will probably never muster in this lifetime.

“Hey, buddy, what'cha doing?”

Noctis very nearly tosses his phone out the window, but catches himself at the last minute so it instead clatters noisily where it lands on his desk. He hears someone cooing over his disastrous, ‘adorkable’ lack of hand-eye coordination from outside the classroom.

Prompto blinks, before plopping into the seat in front of his. “Uh, okay. Was gonna ask if you wanna head by the arcade later, but you look busy.”

“It's just this Thing.”

Promp glances down at the phone, then back up at Noctis. “Thing.”

“You know,” Noctis sighs, half-aggrieved as he makes a vague hand gesture that's supposed to mean sad-attempt-at-writing-food-porn-featuring-himself-and-his-ridiculously-handsome-charming-chivalrous-competent-all-round-amazeballs-advisor, “The Thing.”

“Oh!” Prompto exclaims, “The Secret-”

“Thing. Yes, the Secret Thing that no one should ever find out I was involved in.”

“Right. Gotcha,” Prompto nods, deadly serious, “Secret Thing.”

Noctis looks back down at his phone, re-reads his pathetic three lines and resists the urge to face-plant into his desk. Why did he ever think it was a good idea to sign up for this year’s Ignoct secret santa? Okay, so maybe he’s been furtively lurking in the fandom for ages — ever since he overheard a couple of girls whispering about it in phys ed class.

He still remembers their incredibly unlikely hypothesis about Iggy bending him over the gym bleachers, which is... hot as hell, but unlikely. Public sex is just not going to be on the table with his advisor. Because ‘that would be a recipe for disaster, Noct, can you imagine what the press would cook up?’ He’s not even sure if sex is ever going to be on the table — both figuratively and literally.

His dining table is definitely large enough to accommodate some spontaneous fucking, but… he’s obviously been looking at too much PWP lately. And it’s not like he’s going through these incredibly detailed imaginings of him and his advisor just to get off. Not really. Well, he gets off to them sometimes. Rarely. Once a week. Seriously, these artists and authors come up with extremely creative scenarios— That’s not the point.

The point is, It’s kind of heartening to know that somewhere, out there, there are a lot of other someones, random someones who aren’t Promp, rooting for him and Iggy and his stupid, hopeless crush. And it sort of… gives him hope, you know. Makes him feel like it might actually be possible, like they might actually work, if he could just work up the courage to ask Iggy out. One day.

“Just kill me,” Noctis says, unfortunately aloud.

“Woah, woah. Aren’t you, like, not supposed to joke about suicide in public?”

That’s right, he’s not. “It’s a euphemism.”

“Uh,” Promp does the awkward half-laugh that generally functions as an indicator for Noctis to shut up before he shoves that foot further into his mouth, “I don’t think that’s how euphemisms work.”

“It is if whatever I’m thinking of is worse than dying.” Yeap, he’s swallowing that foot. Whole. There’s probably an Ignoct fic about foot fetish somewhere.

“Are you allowed to say that?” Promp whispers, loudly — loud enough for the guy three tables down to not-so-inconspicuously don headphones in an attempt to give them an illusion of privacy.

Which is how they end up relocating to the roof, like every other highschool cliche out there. And Noctis half-feels like the school bully, because unlike every other highschool cliche, there’s actually a decent number of people on the roof, who... promptly make themselves scarce when Noctis and Prompto show up — and look, they’re obviously not leaving because of Promp. He’d have to be more delusional than maybe-my-too-perfect-advisor-slash-childhood-playmate-might-actually-like-me-back to think that anyone’s escaping because of Promp .

“So… nice and quiet here,” Promp says, after the last of them has filed out.

“Mmghf.”

“Very… zen,” Promp continues, “Zen’s good for inspiration, right?”

It’s not working for his. “Maybe?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so either,” Promp sighs deeply in commiseration, “Hey, you could always write a smutty one-shot about Iggy and you getting hot and heavy up here. Can’t go wrong with hot roof sex.”

“We’ve fucked on the roof dozens of times,” well, in fics, “Also why would Iggy be in our school?”

“Because… Oh! Because he’s your alpha and you’ve gone into heat, so the school clinic rung him to pick you up. And then because you’re oozing omega pheromones, Iggy loses control and drags you up here to have his sordid way with you.”

“I’m not writing an ABO,” a beat, “Why am I an omega?”

“I can’t see Iggy being an omega, have you seen the thing he does with his knives?”

“He cooks .”

“I’m gonna have to stop you there, buddy, that sorta alpha-omega-stereotyping is uncalled for.”

“What?”

“You can’t just say Iggy’s an omega because he cooks.”

“That’s not what I— They’re not even real!”

“Yeah, and so isn’t Santa,” Promp proclaims, “But look where we are, in the middle of a Secret Santa. I rest my case.”

Noctis lasts for all of three seconds before the incredulity of it all gets to him and he shoves his awful best friend. “I’m not bearing any babies for Iggy.”

“Pups,” Promp corrects, very seriously, before he cracks up too.

They’re both giggling like desperate F2Ps after a godly gacha roll and Noctis is feeling slightly better about his trainwreck of food-kink fic, which is why he makes the incredibly questionable decision of showing Promp his Work-In-Progress. Prompto blinks at it owlishly for several seconds. And Noctis regrets everything.

“It’s not bad,” Promp declares determinedly, after several more seconds of owlish blinking.

“It’s bad.”

“It’s not! It’s… evocative. That’s good.”

“Noctis rips open a bag of enoki mushrooms,” Noctis reads aloud, “He gallantly pounds a clove of garlic into submission. You winced. Right there.”

“I was empathising with the clove of garlic!”

“Then he manfully wrestles—”

“Okay, okay, stop,” Promp says with a shaky breath, “Maybe… Maybe it could be better. Why are you… manfully wrestling an avocado?”

“An onion. I’m manfully wrestling an onion, because that’s what it says in this really detailed recipe forkingandspooning114 included in the prompt. In which I’m supposed to prepare a meal for Iggy — sexily — and amaze him with my — sexy — cooking prowess, after which we have a hot dinner — and hotter sex.”

“A cereal food fetishist, huh.”

“Yeah, the wurst case I’ve come across,” Noctis makes a face, “There are fifty pages worth of recipes. It’s practically a cookbook.”

“Yikes,” Promp scrolls down to look at recipes. “That’s… hold up. Wait. I have an idea.”

Noctis isn’t sure if he likes that glint in Promp’s eyes but he nods anyway for his best friend to continue.

“Why don’t you ask Iggy for advice?”

“Ask Iggy for advice on seducing him with my non-existent sexy cooking skills?”

“Hypothetically,” Promp says, “And he doesn’t need to know about the seducing. Not when he sexy-cooks naturally, you know, according to you. You can just ask for a demonstration or something, for the recipes. And... maybe bring an extra serving for me tomorrow?”

Well... Noctis mulls, it isn’t a half-bad idea, even if it’s as obvious as Uncle Ardyn’s purposefully obtuse — and painfully cringey — misuse of teenage slang, that Promp’s suggestion is more or less motivated by his stomach. Noctis shrugs at his best friend, plays it cool because it’s kinda ridiculous that his future with Iggy is now at the mercy of Promp’s stomach. “Huh. I’ll think about it.”

He pretends not to see Promp’s little victory jiggle as they make their way down the roof.

He’s still trying to figure out how to ask Specs for a cooking demonstration without sounding really suspicious — and also without hurting Iggy’s feelings, because asking Iggy to work with another person’s recipe is just… kinda in bad taste when he takes so much pride in his own. Of course, the man of the hour is already in the kitchen, whipping up a batch of something-or-other that’ll taste like heaven and sin all wrapped into one, as Noctis steps into his apartment.

“Welcome home, Noct,” Iggy calls, and Noctis’ heart gives a traitorous little flutter because that was just so domestic — come to think of it, that domestic AU he's been following just updated earlier today, he’ll have to read it later, “Productive day at school, I hope?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, we did. Math.”

“That sounds truly invigorating.”

Noctis suddenly feels the need to defend his math class — which he totally did not spend brooding about his secret santa prompt. “Yeah? It’s supposed to lend us magnitude and direction.”

Iggy’s brows rise. “Ah, perhaps I should have said it was in-vector-ating instead?”

Noctis deigns that awful pun with a groan and plops himself down at the table, where Iggy’s delivering an entire tray of freshly baked pastries. He knows better than to snag a piece without Iggy’s go-ahead, though — after all, he’ll only end up with a scalded tongue and a disappointed talking-to from his advisor.

Iggy sets one aside on a plate, adding a generous helping of whipped cream. He looks strangely put together for someone who’s been working away at the kitchen, like does he even sweat? Noctis squints at his advisor’s dry, smooth, slightly flushed skin, so he nearly misses it when Iggy says, “You’re awfully tensed today. I don't suppose there's anyway I can be of service?”

Okay, wow, loaded question. “Uh. No. I mean. Yes. Sorta.”

“Well, you know I’m always happy to help, Noct. What do you need?”

No sex thoughts. Don't think sex thoughts. “I have this… recipe I need you to try.”

“Recipe,” Iggy repeats.

“From the internet,” technically, not a lie, “A-” friend of mine? He only has one friend, literally, one, “Promp. Yeah. Promp wanted to ask for your advice on a couple of recipes. Because... they've not been turning out too well for him, but he was too intimidated to ask in person.”

“Oh. Certainly,” Iggy seems to have bought into his fibbing, “I can take a look at them in my spare time.”

“No.”

Iggy blinks. “No?”

“He um wants a demonstration. Physical demonstration.”

“I can’t see how that’s achievable if he’s too intimidated to show up.”

“Yeah, so you can,” Noctis tries to recall how fic!him goes about asking Iggy favours, cooking demonstrations or otherwise, he seriously doesn’t remember ever being this tongue-tied in fics, “Demonstrate to me, how it’s done. And I’ll demonstrate to Promp.”

“You’ll demonstrate to Prompto,” Iggy’s spoon clatters onto the table, there’s a pause and then, “I’m not sure if that’s wise.”

You char a wok one time. “I just have to do whatever you do, right? Piece of cake,” Noctis says with a confidence he can only muster because he’s not actually going to do any cooking.

“I do hope his house is insured.”

Oh, come on. “His house will survive my cooking perfectly fine, Specs. Just show me. Please.”

Iggy pushes the whip-creamed pastry at him, and Noctis digs into the dessert, enjoying the perfect marrying of flaky, sugared crust and rich, chocolate ganache. Everything Iggy makes is perfect — well, not the vegetables, but... everything else. He watches for Iggy’s reaction, sees the exact moment his advisor capitulates in the set of his shoulders and that look of fond exasperation on his face… tempered by something… harder this time, something Noctis doesn’t quite recognise. But the emotion is gone in a flash, as Iggy says, “Well, I suppose I have my work cut out for me if I’m to make a decent cook out of you. You’d like to try one of these recipes out for dinner today, I presume?”

“Yeah,” Noctis quickly gets the document open, scrolls to the entry that’s titled, Creamy Fowl Saute, “This one.”

Iggy glances at it briefly. “Ah, a classic. And it looks remarkably similar to a recipe of mine. I think your pantry and refrigerator are well-stocked with what we need.”

“Cool,” Noctis says.

He finishes the pastry while Iggy preps his kitchen, magically conjures up ingredients and utensils from spaces he hadn't known existed in his cupboards. Then the stage is set, and the tart consumed, and Iggy’s considering him with a serious sort of look that Noctis will probably be flustered by if it didn’t exactly say how-do-I-get-you-to-not-burn-down-the-kitchen in subtext.

So instead he’s slightly miffed. “Can we get on with it, Specs?”

“Perhaps an apron before we commence?”

He’s not wearing an apron. “But I’m just observing.”

“Nonsense, you’re not going to learn anything by just observing,” Iggy somehow produces a second apron with a flourish, “I’d be loathe to see ‘Crown Prince Commits Arson’ on tomorrow’s seven-o-clock. And roll up your sleeves.”

“Why do I have to—” He nearly bites his tongue because Iggy’s thrown the apron over his head, and now Iggy’s arms are going around his waist in a pseudo-hug to secure the ties at the back. And hopefully, his expression is more coolly composed than astrals-save-me-my-crush-is-sorta-hugging-me-what-do-I-do mortified.

Iggy finally — unfortunately — steps away. “There we are,” a pause, and Iggy’s lips are twitching when he says, “I think this is a good look for you, Noct.”

“Shut up.”

They get started on the recipe, and Iggy puts him in charge of measuring the chicken broth and heavy cream. Noctis is proud to say he aced that, solid 5 out of 7. He’s great at pouring things into measuring cups. He’s kind of warming up to the idea of cooking, maybe, uh well, he’s not cringing away from the counter at least, but then Iggy puts a knife and an onion in his hands and suddenly it feels like they’ve jumped from tutorial mode to boss battle.

“Maybe you should do this,” he tells Iggy.

“You just have to chop the onion, Noct.”

“I’m allergic to onions. They make my eyes water.”

“That happens to everyone,” Iggy says, “And just think of it like it’s weapons training with Gladio. You’ve handled bigger blades than this.”

Noctis’ retort dies in his throat when he notices the unintended euphemism, his next words are out of his mouth before he thinks them through. “Well, maybe you should help me with this blade then. You know, correct my form, the way Gladio does at practice.”

Okay. Someone kill him. Now.

Thankfully, the disastrously cheesy line seems to fly over Iggy’s head, because he just nods at Noctis and says, “If you think it’ll help you.”

What? “Uh. Yeah?”

Which is how Iggy ends up getting into position behind Noctis, one hand over Noctis’ where he’s grasping the knife, the other carefully positioning the onion on the board. And Noctis is both congratulating and cursing at himself for his horrendous foot-in-mouth syndrome. “I’ve already peeled and washed it, so you can start by cutting it into two. Right through the root, but we don’t want to cut that off, lest the onion bleeds.”

Okay, he can feel Iggy’s body heat all the way down the line of his back and— “The onion bleeds?”

“Sulphuric acid, sulphur dioxide and hydrogen sulphide. The latter irritates our eyes.”

“Oh, okay.” Iggy is guiding his hand through the motion, creating an incision, then cleanly slicing through. “Wow. Okay, we’re done?”

He feels Iggy’s chest rumble in a gentle chuckle. “Not quite. Hold the onion like this. Use your knuckle to guide the knife, point it towards the root, and cut. That’s right. Nice, long strokes.”

Nice, long strokes, seriously?

“Not too deep,” Iggy tuts, “If I’d known you’d be so enthusiastic about cutting onions, I would have enlisted your help years ago.”

“I’m not,” Noctis objects, “I just want to—” finish this before I pop an awkward boner, “Get it right for Promp.”

Iggy abruptly releases his hand and of course Noctis stabs himself in the pinky in the next second. “Ouch, damn. Iggy, wha—”

“My apologies,” okay, now Iggy looks like he’s going to flagellate himself or something, “You’re bleeding, we’ll have to run that under the tap.”

“Specs, it’s not a big deal,” he tries to protest, but they’re evidently still running his pinky under the tap, “I’ve had worse cuts from chopstick splinters than this.”

“Your chopstick splinters were not of my doing,” Iggy pauses, “Were they?”

“No.”

Iggy heaves out a sigh that sounds like part relief and part dismay, like is he seriously going to blame himself for not inspecting every pair of disposable chopsticks that passes into Noctis’ hands? Noctis is about to say something, something reassuring hopefully, but then Iggy stops glaring at the tiny barely-a-quarter-inch cut like it’s a personal affront and looks up at him with a frazzled sort of smile — which is… wow, be still, heart, don’t fucking give me away with your loud thumping. Iggy clears his throat. “Perhaps you should sit the rest of the session out. And we ought to put a bandaid on that.”

“On this?”

They put a bandaid on it. Well, they kind of just swathe his pinky in a bandaid. Gladio is going to be absolutely merciless with his teasing if he sees it at training the day after. Thus, Noctis resolves to quietly ditch it in a couple of hours. And he tries to tell Iggy he’s perfectly fit to continue cooking, but Iggy’s starting to look sorta stressed out, so Noctis goes back to observing — the original plan, which kinda seems less fun now, but he gets to unabashedly eyeball Iggy so that’s a plus.

His advisor’s a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen, his actions quick, sure and precise. He’s efficient, the way he is with everything else in his — well, Noct’s — life. It’s kind of amazing to watch. And somewhere in the back of his mind, Noctis knows he’s supposed to be taking notes for his secret santa. It’s just, Iggy’s like a storm when he’s on a mission, brutal, arresting, awe-inspiring. It’s all part of what Noctis finds sexy, and Noctis can’t exactly imagine being that for Iggy, which is a little depressing but... maybe Iggy has a thing for clumsy and socially inept. He’s not sure how that’s going to fly with forkingandspooning114, though.

Does clumsy qualify as sexy?

He’s still trying to figure that out, when Iggy slides a plate in front of him. “Dinner is served.”

Noctis blinks at the dish. It looks good, kinda familiar, but then Iggy made it, so ditto. “Thanks, Specs.”

“Have you gotten everything you needed for Prompto?” Iggy asks solicitously, as he seats himself opposite Noctis.

“Uh, yeah. We’re good.”

Iggy considers him. “Would it be helpful if I made a couple of notes on the recipe?”

Noctis shrugs as he digs into the chicken. The meat's tender, and the sauce creamy but not too creamy. “Yeah, sure.”

“Then you shan’t be attempting this on your own in Prompto’s kitchen?”

“Specs.”

Iggy delicately cuts a portion of his own fillet, spears it with his fork, then tears a chunk off with his teeth. Okay, that’s weirdly hot. Noctis stares at Iggy’s bobbing adam's apple as he swallows. “I’m serious, Noct.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Noctis agrees, distracted by Iggy’s adam’s apple, but it’s not like he’s been planning to go burn down Promp’s kitchen in the first place. Iggy seems somewhat mollified by his answer and drops the subject, so Noctis is left to enjoy the meal in silence for the next couple of minutes. He scarfs it down with relish, but there’s just something about it that feels... Hm. “Hey, Specs? This tastes sorta familiar.”

Iggy pauses, fork in mid-air as he replies, “Well, of course. The recipe’s an exact copy of mine. If you hadn’t told me otherwise, I’d have thought Prompto took it straight out of my notebook.”

Wait. “Really?” Noctis stops chewing. Because that’s just—

“It’s a common enough dish,” Iggy shrugs, “And it’s something I’ve adapted off existing recipes. I’d say it’s certainly possible for someone to have made the same adjustments as I. No cause for alarm.”

“Do you wanna check the rest of the recipes? See if they’re yours? What if someone stole—”

“In your own words, Noct, it’s not a big deal.”

How is that not a big deal? Iggy’s worked his ass off on those recipes. “Just check them.”

Iggy accepts Noctis’ phone and scrolls through the recipes, expression politely neutral as he does so, which annoys Noctis because that usually means he thinks Noct’s being stupid or unreasonable or whatever. He stops scrolling after a while. “Well, they’re all rather similar.”

“So someone stole your recipes?”

“They’re just recipes,” yeah, recipes Iggy created for Noct.

And Noctis is about to demand they call up the citadel’s security and have them pull up footage from the Private Secretary’s Office, but then his wrath is promptly derailed by the sudden realisation that someone in the citadel stole Iggy’s recipes for the Ignoct secret santa, and that’s… That’s… Well, he’s a little conflicted, because one, stealing is bad, but two, someone close to home ships them hard enough to go to such lengths, and that’s kind of, sort of heartwarming in a… weirdly, intrusive sort of way. Well, at least, he’s got someone’s support if he and Iggy work out and Noctis declares his plans to beget heirs via surrogacy or something.

“Do you know who it might be?” Noctis asks after a while.

Iggy stares at him for a moment. “Perhaps a Glaive or a Crownsguard.”

Great, he’ll have to ask Nyx or Gladio. Noctis finishes the rest of his dinner in a hurry.

“Is there anything else I can help you with tonight?” Iggy asks, while clearing the table.

Noctis blinks. Another loaded question. He tries to think of puppies and chocobos and anything but Iggy in a leather collar. “Uh. Nah, I’m good. Thanks for dinner, Specs. We should do the cooking together thing again sometime.”

“Certainly,” Iggy says.

Then Noctis is retreating to his bedroom to mull over the identity of forkingandspooning114, mind racing at warp-speed, already making plans to waylay the Glaives and Crownsguards, because he's gotta figure out who's his ally in this, you know. And if it's a little strange that Iggy left his Very Important Notebook unattended long enough for anyone to copy fifty pages off it, well... he's only human, isn't he?

#ffxv #ignoct #ignis x noctis #Noctis Lucis Caelum #ignis scientia #prompto argentum #fanfiction

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newproletarians · 3 years

Text

I feel like I am giving my own brain a noogie a lot of the time. Or, maybe, putting it in a headlock. Squeezing it from the inside. I feel like I am pinching my own brain, trying to get it to do different things, constantly. Does that make sense?

Is that normal? Do you feel the same way, other person reading this? For the sake of your comfort, and potentially entertainment, I want to be completely candid—I feel like this a fucking LOT. I don’t usually realize it, either. And look. I have this deep-seated knowledge that the average person on Earth is having a really shitty time. I think that’s the norm. We’re all gonna die, we’re all gonna suffer. If you aren’t dying, and you aren’t life-sucking, then what you’re in is very cool, very unusual, and very temporary. Some of us end up lucky enough to be dicking around on a Tumblr blog with loads of benefactors all around them. So I don’t like to complain. Or, fuck that. I should complain. Complaining is good. But I don’t like to be disappointed when life is not perfect, because it rarely is. So there’s that. I just notice it sometimes, like having tense shoulders (which I also have). I’ll be hanging out putting up a shirt in the closet, and realize I’ve been keeping my shoulders... more up? More up than they need to be. That’s the thing. It’s a subconscious tenseness that comes back again and again. That’s what’s going on in my brain. New paragraph.

So what do I care about this? It’s just a thing that happens. Big deal. Move on. Well, that’s the thing. I don’t know if it is a thing that happens. If it is, and it’s totally fine, then I’d love to just get on with my life. If it’s bad I want to stop, because it’s uncomfy and I think there’s a better life out there for me. I’m doing it now, even.

I think i thas something to do with this words part of my brain. This hyper-analytical, mostly-useless part of my brain that sucks at doing anything. The same part of my brain that, when I used to play baseball, would absolutely micromanage the fuck out of every aspect of my form in everything I did. It’s criticism. It’s toxic. God, do people criticize their kids and siblings. What a cycle of suckage. I would be thinking to myself, in the batter’s box, “think of the ball like a thing you need to hit DOWN with the bat.” That would work for a while, and then it would stop, and I’d come up with a new thing. That shit doesn’t work. That’s when the verbal, limited part of your brain tryies to use it’s own verbage to move you forward as a being. You know what I’m saying? That’s you words-brain, which isn’t good for much, actually. Silence is gold. You know what I’m saying?

Your words-brain is the best conduit we have of information from person to person (asterisk), but that information is ridiculously low-quality. Low res. It’s like... not that many pixels? I guess I don’t need more analogies. It’s fucking weak. Language is weak. It weakly approximates things, and we need a whole lot of other shit to adequately communicate anything (like gestures, context, etc.). When I talk, a lot of the time, I’m fixated on the words. I’m thinking about the language we’re using. it’s why, why I text someone, I automatically absorb their texting style and throw it right back at them. It’s probably also why, when I listen to a song, I am often thinking about it in abstract terms, subconsciously reverse-engineering the song to the writer. Unsuccessfully and inaccurately much of the time, for sure. I don’t want to seem like some dude who thinks he is just reverse engineering songs as he goes through life. That would be pretty cringey. But that’s the spirit. It’s there. It’s the sizing up of life experiences, thinking of things in the absolute most transactional, bit-by-bit ways. It’s seeing someone throw a ball well and thinking, “I should make sure my arm goes up like his when I throw,” or seeing a happy couple and thinking, “I should hold myself like this person to optimize life enjoyment.” It’s honestly pretty weird, but also interesting. Why would I look at things that way? This fixation on the mechanics of things is what makes a great builder of things, which I certainly aspire to be. I want to build great relationships, music, videos, animations, whatever. I don’t want to be guarded anymore, how I am. I want to just put myself out there.

And that brings us back to the beginning, somehow. I’m so used to being so hard on myself. So hard on everything around me. There’s this feeling, and it feels like pinching my brain. I am working really hard just to be good enough. For who? For what? Good questions, for sure. I don’t know. I do know that I have the urge to throw this blog away again. I just want to start fresh. I don’t want this stupid shit plaguing my memory. I don’t want to have this shitty blog where I just puked my thoughts out and made little puke piles that were shaped OK enough for me to feel smart. I want to have a cool blog. A smart person blog. Maybe I can talk a little about what I want. Maybe this is too negative. There’s some relation between this head-pinching feeling, this inward-spiraling of writing, and this hyperanalyticality. Man, seeing Phoebe Bridgers on Instagram and Twitter makes me dislike myself. I feel like I’m not cool enough to hang out with her. God. I wanna be cool.

I’m remembering writing in a journal when I was 17. I felt so similarly. I remember I was writing about feeling jealous of my brothers, and how it felt like everything came easily to them, and they always got better treatment, and yadda yadda yadda, and I was just full spiraling into a non-spiral-bound notebook. Comp book. If it were spiral bound, it’d maybe make a kinda beautiful song lyric. Maybe it’s better that it wasn’t. I got bitter. I’m just realizing I got bitter. I think I’ve known, but damn! I was really the not-bitter guy and it was awesome. I wonder why. Anyway. We’ll come back around to it. Maybe.

I was writing about my brothers, and I wrote out “I JUST WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL.” At the time it felt so bad! I felt like it was the craziest thing I ever did. Writing that. Isn’t that funny? I felt like i was being a huge weirdo, and it’s because I had oppressed myself into semi-normalcy (which is also just regular socialization I guess?) and wasn’t thinking about my feelings at all. Now I’m 23 going on 24, and guess what? The feelings are still there. Basically all the same ones. The difference is that I have the tools to deal with them now. It’s cool to relate to yourself. Damn. That is a hilarious thing to say that I didn’t think I would find funny or novel. It feels good to relate to one’s self. It feels like my dragon to slay.

This relates back to the main point. Brain pinch. Getting out of this stupid brain-words mode. words-brain. Whatever. Left brain. Heady stuff. The dragon to slay here is this overwhelming issue of me being weird. I think that’s the fundamental question. It’s ok. I’ll say it. I’m weird. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I think some people genuinely reach that self-aware age, look in a mirror, and go, “score. I’m normal.” Some people just think the right thoughts. I’ve definitely played on both teams in the weird vs. normal wars. I tend to side with normies, because, let’s face it, those other guys aren’t always the people you wanna get down with. The oppressive monolith of normalcy that presses ever forward, bullying that which gets in its way, is pretty reliable. A fear of being weird is healthy, I think. Being too weird is bad. Lol. I’m so far off point. I’m really distracted, worried, bored, and somehow procrastinating all at once. I thought life would be different. That’s part of it. I thought by now I’d know what I wanted to do. I thought I’d have more mature relationships with the people in my family. I thought I’d have more friends, not less. I thought that I’d finally be one of those people you see at the airport and think, “that person looks cool. Instead, I feel like I have less of an idea of what I want to do with my life than ever. I also feel like the kind of person I would avoid. I feel like my relationships with my family members have gotten to a better place, but I’m worried that it only got here because of pity they have for me. I thought I would have an army of cool friends rn, but I don’t. I thought I’d have money, but I don’t. I thought I’d have my shit together, and look at me now, I most certainly do not.

I may not be writing something good right now. I don’t think that’s what this blog is about. I think it’s about me shitting my brain out, but with words. It’s important for me to take big brain shits! I have to take brain shits! Or else I have a bunch of shit in my brain! Is that what an artist is? I don’t think so. I think artists, like, care about art.

Well that’s a relief. So these posts don’t have to be good. They SHOULD be shitty. They are literally shit. I’m gonna have a beer.

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immortalpramheda · 6 years

Text

Riverdale ‘Chapter Thirty: The Noose Tightens’

I really enjoyed this episode! From Jughead saving Betty to Cheryl being rescued by Toni and Archie still sucking up to Hiram, I just really enjoyed all of it.

There are three people running for Student Body President; Jughead with Betty, Veronica with Archie, and Reggie with Josie. The Serpents aren’t behind Jughead running because of Betty, whose mother is a former Serpent and they don’t think they can trust her loyalty. And Reggie is worried about he and Archie running against each other and who gets the votes of the football team. So, as you do, they battle it out with an arm wrestle, which Archie wins.

Toni is very worried abut Cheryl. She hasn’t posted on social media in days so that’s definitely a red flag for someone like her. She enlists the help of Veronica and Josie to find out where she is.

Toni, Veronica and Josie demand answers from Cheryl’s mother. And she partly tells them the truth. She is not at a boarding school in Switzerland, she’s at a ‘private wellness centre’. And she shows them the drawings she found of Josie. Cheryl had a slight obsession with her it seems, and most likely sent her the the pigs heart.

I’m glad they brought the drawings back up, and I do hope we get an explanation from Cheryl. Could she be crazy after all? It does seem like she stalked Josie, but maybe it was just built up frustration?

Nana Rose is left home alone, so she’s basically stuck in her chair for the day and can’t move. But somehow she manages to throw herself to the ground and army crawl to the old fashioned telephone. Which I found hilarious! She calls the school to get a message to Toni. The call is cut short, but not before she tells Toni that Cheryl is nearby with the ‘sisters’. That’s gives them enough information to figure it out.

Kevin, who seems to know all there it to know about anything LGBT related, knows that the Sisters of Quiet Mercy are one of the few places that still run off the books gay conversion therapy. And he also knows of a secret tunnel to get into there.

Armed with a crowbar, and Veronica’s very revealing outfit (not sure what she thought she was dressing for?), along with Toni and Kevin, make it through the tunnel and sneak into the building.

Cheryl is sitting through another mandatory movie night. She’s exhausted from her day of lifting heavy sacks and she’s crying. Then she hears Toni’s voice calling her name. Toni runs in front of the projector and Cheryl runs to her and they embrace, and then they kiss!! That was very, very sweet. I could tell how relived Cheryl was that someone had come to rescue her. That someone actually does care about her.

They manage to escape, and it was adorable how Cheryl kept reaching for Toni’s hand as they ran away from the nuns. I loved that whole sequence of rescuing Cheryl.

The car that was dumped in the river has been found, which isn’t good for the Coopers or the Joneses. Chic is pretty distraught about the whole thing (or is it all just an act?).

Alice forces Betty to come home, and Betty is determined to win the Serpents trust that she’s decided she wants to get a tattoo, which Alice is not thrilled about.

Chic, who claims he was just trying to help, brings Darla, the girlfriend of the guy he murdered. Which is exactly what you do right? Seriously, I do wonder what goes through Chic’s mind and why he keeps doing so many idiotic things. Darla says she doesn’t care what happened to her former boyfriend, as long as she gets the money he owed her.

Alice and Chic stay home with Darla while Betty goes to the bank. While she’s there, that the guy who attacked Chic at the hostel has come over too. Seriously, look at all the shit Chic has put them trough in such a short period of time.

They give them the money, but now they’ve decided they don’t want to leave. After the guy threatens to cut out Betty’s eyes, suddenly the door is kicked in and in walks the Serpents, led by Jughead!! Those two stand no chance against the knife wielding Serpents, and not to mention they’re friends with the sheriff’s son so there’s no use in going to the cops. I loved that scene and how protective Jughead is of Betty, and that door kick was so dramatic!! Haha I loved it! And finally, Alice is sick of all Chic’s shit and tells him to move out. About time!

Alice thanks the Serpents for protecting them, and then she dresses up to go visit F.P, fully embracing her former South Side side with a bold lip and everything! The Alice/F.P tension this episode was gold! I am so on board with this ship.

The episode semi turned into a mafia movie when Hiram’s old friends, Lenny and Carl (the Simpsons??) are in town. They’re worried about Hermione running for office and possibly spilling their business deals. So, as a truce they want a percentage of the profits from the prison.

Archie and Veronica then walk in on Andre being beaten by the Black Hood?? Maybe, or maybe not, but Archie isn’t taking any chances and runs after him (he sure does like chasing people!). He unmasks him, and it’s fake FBI Agent Adam’s, who is supposedly allied with the Lodge’s but it seems that he’s turned against them.

And then Archie, once again, decides to take things into his own hands and creates a new gang, the Dark Circle. They blow up Lenny and Carl’s car and threaten them into leaving town. So, the sightly less cringey Red Circle gang is back maybe???

As a thanks, Hiram goes and buys Archie a new car. He blew off his father’s speech and his mother is not happy with him, and he has a brand new set of wheels. Who is he anymore? Where do his loyalties lie? Why has he chosen Hiram over his own father?? I just don’t know what he is trying to do. Even Jughead is supporting Fred, but his own son isn’t. I just do not understand what is going with Archie and his blind loyalty towards the Lodges. I mean, it’s not for money or gifts, he didn’t seem too keen to receive a new car. And I know he loves Veronica (even if their relationship is far from perfect) but it seems a bit overkill to be this loyal to her father, even more so than he is to her. I just do not understand why he is doing all this.

And finally Cheryl seems completely fine, not traumatised at all. Or, what’s most likely is that it’s all an act and she’s trying to suppress her feelings as we know she is very good at doing. But I do hope that she opens up at some point. She needs to talk it out, she needs a support system, and I hope that Toni can be that for her. She’s back at school and is determined to get the lead role in the school’s musical.

Oh, that’s right, the next episode is a musical episode. Not sure how I feel about that, but hopefully it’ll be a bit of fun!

The highlights of the episode were Toni saving Cheryl, Jughead and the Serpents protecting the Coopers and Alice and F.P, but I enjoyed all the storylines. And now we now have a three week break, but we’re almost to the end of the season and I do hope it ends in a satisfying way!

#riverdale #chapter thirty #the noose tightens #archie andrews #betty cooper #jughead jones #veronica lodge #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #bughead #varchie #choni #riverdale recap #riverdale spoilers #my text post

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ohoshi · 3 years

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lmaoooo at us writing anna karenina to each other (yes i read all your tags and i love it)

i loved all the memes you put in your message hehe and i would put some too but TUMBLR WON'T LET ME (bc i'm anonymous 😭 ). once i reveal who i am in 2 weeks i will send you all the jaemin gifs and memes!!

ok my fav moments...so nana first: i actually kinda dont like aegyo but i find it so funny how the dreamies pretend to throw up and look away from him whenever he does it HAHA. i think the most recent time dreamies were on weekly idol, jaemin was doing the ottoke song and then he was like "i cant see the lyrics" and the dreamies died laughing but he was like what happened 😂 and in the same episode at the end he called eunhyuk by the wrong name and the dreamies were on the floor laughing but also like "omg did i really just witness that" and it was hilarious (and nana actually turned red aww)!! but the compilations on youtube of jaemin complaining for 8 min straight are also funny! and how he's not rly competitive unless he wants to be, so he just makes his members happy (like during nct dream in wonderland when he gave up one of his snacks to get one that renjun wanted 🥺 im soft) also, i too am a basic bitch who is whipped for his "ice cream" part in boom and "let's roll" in ridin lmaoooo

now mark! i totally agree i love his panicked gay moments HAHAHA and whenever he gets flustered or embarrassed it's actually the cutest thing ever!! i think one of my fav moments is the nct127 video (N'-88 vlog to be specific) where theyre in japan buying something and he's like "oh ONLY CASH?!" it's so funny. i also agree that i love marks dancing (tho maybe i'm just biased, but the boy can rap, sing, dance, AND is good looking) but i think his dancing/stage presence has improved a lot esp since he got to be in superm and work with so many different kinds of performers/dancers!! like i feel like the 90s love dance practice kinda shows how he's improved (also, i love the nct dance video where he is dancing to simon says)

lastly jaehyun: i love his aura, he seems like he has such a calming presence (unbothered king) like in his nct127 relay vlogs! and there was one video where nct127 had the waiter pick two members who looked the least funny from their pictures, and they would have to pay for the meal...he picked jaehyun/mark and mark was so shook at the check but jaehyun was just calmly like okay let's go i'll pay for it 🥺 but of course ALSO he's such a good performer and his voice is princely...i can't wait for his drama that's coming out next year too?! i'll prob be wrecked but like i'm here for it ahahah

this was really so long but i hope you enjoyed reading it hehehehe, i love how we are just writing so many words fangirling about these 3 men 💀

gafsdghda can’t wait for you to reveal yourself i am already so excited!! 😽

me neither personally i hate aegyo i wish they would stop doing it bc it just..... looks bad.... and makes me cringe... hard.. SO I RELATE TO DREAMIES A LOT even tho nana’s aegyo is not TOO bad 🤷 (still bad tho, actually the only idol whose aegyo doesn’t suck is jungwoo i think?? it somehow comes naturally to him as a person) I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT GSDFAHGFDA omg nana was SO EMBARRASSED i lowkey felt bad but it made me laugh so much.. and OMG THANKS FOR REMINDING ME i wanted to point that i love how he’s not at all competitive bc same lmao and how caring he is for his members<3333333 so precious 🥺🥺🥺 how is he not everyone’s bias?????? handsome, cute, adorable, caring, funny, quirky and drinks a lot of coffe? what a perfect guy how do i take him all to myself

omg i see what you mean because i noticed the same thing!!! (which is not surprising for me bc i’m a dancer myself so i always pay attention to these things shgdafhda just like i noticed that nana performing riding before maw and after maw is so!! different!! he literally does it better now, his body alignments are better and his moves are very well executed hasjdha i am so proud to see my boy improving 🤧 i guess being in maw really benefited him) i love superm so much and i love that mark is in it bc no one does it better than him let’s be honest 😏 glad he can benefit from it, to work with great idols such as taemin, baekhyun and kai is an honor, but mark is so great you can’t really say that he’s so much younger and less experienced than them

UNBOTHERED KING damn right he is i love that for him hgsadh yk what i also love when it comes to jaehyun? the i like me better cover. everything about it. i prefer to listen to his version rather than the og version.... and don’t even get me started on the video... in my version of heaven all i’m doing is watching that video and listening to that song adjghsjdg oh right his drama!!! i’m so excited!! i watched jaemin’s drama too and i..... yk shit’s gonna get real when i call him jaemin instead of nana ok don’t kill me for this but i-- didn’t like it..... i mean it was entertaining to say the least but it was so cringey gdhafgdaf nana’s character was kinda sweet but also kinda boring bc most of the time he’s just :| so that was boring ahsdfhgas at least we got some nana bf material so that’s cute i guess,,, anyways,,, i hope jaehyun’s drama is better!!! let me know have you seen nana’s drama and also what you thought of it?

i enjoy reading your asks so much<33 thank u

#i couldn’t have wished for a better santa #i hope no one is reading these #they might think we're dumb #but i highkey don't care 🤷🏻‍♀️#ss20

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mslanna · 6 years

Note

(Author ask meme) For The Reason I didn't Update (any work), 1, 2, 9, 11 and 13 please?

Ohdear. I hope you brought a chair and snacks...

1:What inspired you to write the fic this way?

Itstarted out as a challenge entry. The challenge was to keep the diaryof a character for one year with at least two entries per month. Myidea was to have a hilarious little thingy about my misadventuresprovided I got stuck in my fave Star Wars corner.

Fora diary the entries were of a good length. I suck at long chapters,so this is my perfect format. Sometimes I hope to return to weeklyupdates but life and motivation. *le sigh*

Aftera while it became clear that one year of fun and then out wasn'tgonna work. Readers reacted best to the, let's call them morefangirly plotlines. So I decided to make the fantasy palatable forpeople not living inside my head and ran with it.

Ithink that reading it all in one go you need to be able to ignorethat last sentence...

2:What scene did you first put down?

Surprisinglythe first one. I actually started at the beginning and took it fromthere. I had no real clue where I wanted to go but I had a year tofigure it out. Among the first scenes ever written is also the lastchapter. I'll get there one day.

9:Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Ohman, my dude, my friend, my poor sod. TRIDU is based on my personalMary Sue self inserts to Star Wars. You know the kind you only tellyourself in your head about. Since I couldn't give myself anin-universe background a lot of really cringey, but common fangirlythings got cut. Lucky you all. I mean that.

Forthe longest time I tried to avoid writing the inevitable Thrawnromance. That guy doesn't go even well just in the same sentence asthe word romance. So Dave turned up. Somehow, pairing him withMellanna didn't work well though. So I caved.

Therewas some mushy stuff I am happy never saw the light of the day, defsmore smut than you will ever see, more marriage/relationship stuff. Icringe when I see the remains today. Should have cut that crap aswell. Oh well.

Iplayed with the thought to have Mellanna be Force sensitive but thatwas too much work. Also there are versions where she actually triedto defect (didn't go well), was programmed by C'baoth as in the AUend or die protecting Thrawn. Also Barekh was meant to stay herbodyguard, but I couldn't bring it over myself to kill Rukh.

Iplayed out TRIDU in my head so many times, especially part two. Thereare version where Mellanna showed Thrawn the finger and lived happilyever after with Storm. Thereare versions where the return took 20 years to accomplish. Sarahdied, Mellanna died, Storm died (only once, I love that man toomuch).

Theoriginal version was tu run all the way until the Vong invasion, butman, did I run out of plot way before that. I still hope to includethe scene where Mellanna slaps Thrawn in the face in public, butwell. Not looking good. :(

Therewas skying once, trips to the surface, the Fels, Sarahbeing Force sensitive, Storm as actual arch-enemy of Thrawn. If it'san AU you can think of, I probably did and discarded it for theofficial version.

ChangesI am happy with are that I made a conscious effort to get a 50/50ratiofor men and womenonCsilla.Iam still bad with the queer stuff and, man, sometimes I wish I couldgo back and put some diversity into my Empire.

11:What do you like best about this fic?

Ireally like my Noghri mythology. That came out nice. And I love myinterpretation of Thrawn. He just has to be ruthless, calculating,and always, always, always will have at least one sensible reason todo something that reads as caring. It is probably unhealthy to lovethe everlasting uncertainty about his actual feelings towardsMellanna.

Ilove the style. It is my preferred writing stlye now and watch me getup in arms if anybody starts to rant against filler words….

13:What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writingthis story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you thinkreaders should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Iactually have a playlist for TRIDU:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzZRdjXd2qw&list=PLUgmLRuk-kLYAj06o2W7D4Yzjz3kCC-jL

Missingare a few tracks from the TIE Fighter game and Star Wars soundtrack.

BrianEno and Leif Strand are possibly the oldest entries. They comes frommy headcanon of Thrawn playing piano and – I was 14, you don't wantto know.

Starsby Roxette is Mellannas theme.

NoMatter What by Boyzone is Mellanna's view on her relationship withThrawn (when she doesn't want to rip his head off)

Wordsby Boyzone is for the long-distance relationship wish works betterfor obvious reason.

Don'tLet It Show by Alan Parsons Project was the theme song for the secondpart once. Now Mellanna is in a much better place. ^,^'

DuTrägst Keine Liebe In Dir was pretty much when Mellanna wants tothrottle Thrawn. I kinda ell out of that one a while ago, but itstill evokes the right feeling.

AkkadianEmpire by Audiomachine is my go-to when I write any kind of action orviolence.

TwentyYears by Placebo is about the time on Csilla. Fortunately not 20years in the end.

Thepiano pieces are because headcanon and the 12 tone serialism piece iswhat I had in my head for the piece Storm played for Sarah/Mellanna.

InMy Arms by Plumb is about Sarah, naturally.

Thelove songs are various stages of Mellanna not wanting to throttleThrawn though Beautiful In My Eyes for me is more Thrawn'sperspective. I am soppy at heart.

Forwriting I tend to have a couple of actual songs for each story Iwrite (eg list above) and bolster the list with instrumental piecesfrom Yiruma, Immediate Music, One Step From Hell, and X-Ray Dog.

/rantend

Thankyou very much for asking.

#TRIDU #gebabbel #listen #i have about 10 years of feels for that thing #cptgryps

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