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#it’s about the disrespect of getting into a show from the 90s and either assuming there’s no fandom space for it already or not caring
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As everyone is giving their opinion I will share mine as well. And I do appreciate you allowing all opposite views as long as they are respectful.
I do not think Luke is serious about Antonia. Everything we’ve seen so far was from her perspective. And she most definitely is hyping it up. How romantic a date can be when 90% of time they are with his friends? Luke hasn’t publicly acknowledged her in any form. Following her doesn’t confirm anything to the general public or even to casual fans. By the way she followed him first, it would have been kind of awkward not to follow her back.
Staying hidden in hotel rooms while he goes about doing his business is not a slay by any means. I would certainly not do it, especially not as a habit.
Also, Luke acting all besotted with Nic (either real or for PR as some might say) while he is supposedly in love with his GF doesn’t make any sense. It’s disrespectful and encourages fans to ship them. No PR can dictate an actor’s private life to this extent. And no PR would encourage the actors to say they enjoyed lying naked under a blanket while filming spicy scenes.
Antonia is also way too attention seeking and likes to show off on SM. This will cause issues for Luke. I would be very surprised if she is around by the time S3 is out. Guess time will tell.
Well, to be fair, we only see the time they choose to share and I’m pretty sure it’s about 2% of their life together . So no, I don’t agree that they spend 90% of their time with his friends. His friends weren’t in Paris or at his hotel room in London during promo last week.
We have seen Luke filming her on NYE and having Rory post it. He ends the video with a smirk 😏, so we have seen her from his perspective. Yes, she usually posts but he’s allowed it from her and his friends.
By my calculations, assuming they got together in August, he’s been with her 7 months now.
Whether it will last is anyone’s guess.
Considering she follows him around and stays at the hotel while he works, tells me she’s in it for as long as he will be willing.
No, most self respecting people wouldn’t follow their partner around. They would be living and working and hanging with their family and friends. A partner is supposed to enhance your life, not take over your life. It seems the power dynamics is off to me. But just my opinion.
It’s not personal when Luke and Nic go to work, do press, etc… It’s work to do this promotion tour.
People can take how they interact any way they want. But at the end of the day, they are actors and they CAN act to get through these things.
Do I think it’s 💯 PR? No. But mostly it is PR.
The saying, actions speak louder than words always tell me what’s up.
Luke having Antonia with him behind the scenes is HIS choice. He asked her to be there. So obviously he wants her there. As weird as it is.
He does the event then goes to her. Fashion shows. Valentine’s Day. Bafta partying.
Meanwhile Nic does her own thing, with perhaps her partner? And friends.
Nic and Luke wouldn’t even see each other now if it wasn’t for work, so no it’s not anything and it isn’t going to be.
Do they have affection for one another? Sure. Do I think Luke feels admiration for Nic? Absolutely. And it does come across, when he’s not uptight or acting.
I think I would be bestowed with her too! I want to hang out with her and her friends. They seem cool and have fun!
I think the way they answered the intimacy question, together, was scary for them. Nicola talked way too fast. She does that when she’s unsettled. Both her and Luke adding that they just hung out in the bed and chilled between takes was their way of saying they got comfortable about half way through the day. And yes, of course, they were almost naked (they do wear modesty garments, so not fully naked). Luke slipping that in was just saying that at some point you don’t care anymore.
And I have heard Directors talk about filming sex scenes. Most of what they actually use is filmed at the end of the day. They basically exhaust their actors, so that they loose their inhibitions. And they get better material from it for the screen. So it sounds likely that the Director did something along those lines.
They also tend to film sex scenes all at once, over a week, 10 days. Then they give the actors a break from filming for another week or so. That’s all done deliberately. And I believe that happened here. The group champagne 🍾 photo that Nic posted was probably from the end of shooting all the sex scenes. She was letting fans know, in her own way, that they made it through 👍 and celebrated with their team.
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antiloreolympus · 3 years
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14 Anti LO Asks
1. To the one anon: good question - how is it that the mortals dont know who Persephone is / assume she is a minor goddess and therefore its okay to mess with her but the gods (or Olympians / underworld denizens) know exactly everything about her (despite her being there only every so often and only being 20ish) - enough to say shes "wearing her signature white color" during a murder trial.
Also the reason why Persephone is wearing white is because
A). RS wanted persephone to always be "dressed as a bride" (and have Hades dressed as a groom respectively) to show that their matching / is supposed to be a visual cue that their eventually gonna be together.
B). I believe this is RS way of saying that Persephone (despite murdering some mortals) is innocent because in purity culture White = innocence, virginity, youth etc. (Even though RS explicity ssid she wanted to go against purity culture morals shes very much leaning into them). 
2. why are Psyche’s eyes yellow even in her human form? Is she sick??
3. honestly? LO is just gossisp girl at this point, espect even GG (at least in the first season) bothered to saturze the rich and was calling out how wealth and power makes them corrupt assholes. meanwhile LO is just GG season 2 and on of being like no no, the poor people are the evil people and the rich people are the oppressed ones! all while also fawning over their  wealth and status and being way into grown men wanting to bang barely legal teens and claiming to be "feminist" somehow.
4. Tumblr is well-known for broken tag system. Check the post' tags before complaining that it's op's fault. How about you guys not tag greek mythology when posting about LO? LO is not one-shot or short fancomic. It's also definitely not considered actual greek mythology. LO is years long webcomic with huge fans. LO has its own tag. Tell your fellow fans to stop using the greek mythology tag.
5. I would argue nyx is the only woman with a unique in design in LO but thats only because she looks like a deformed chicken woman. why was my night mom disrespected this much 😭
6. So now that LO is back from break and I can finally read chapter 170 - Why oh Why do ALL the female characters Have to be defined by their male love interests??? (Or really just love interests in general).
I understand LO qualifies as the "romance" genre and there are certain stipulations or I guess themes or what have you that make it romance but for f*cks sake.
Psyche being worried about Eros loving the "fake" her I kinda get, but really? Thats your most pressing concern?? Hera is defined by her garbage marriage to Zeus - King of the gods (of which is why she is Queen of the gods). Hestia + Athena are now defined solely by their relationship to each other (not the TGOEM or their respective traits of being a goddess of the hearth + goddess of war, strategy etc etc).
Aphrodite is defined by giving Persephone "relationship" advice (e.g: telling her to curb stomp Minthe because "nymphs dont take things from gods" - doubly implying that people are things to own) And by her jealousy of Persephone in the first place because Hades made a comment about how he thought Persephone was prettier than her. And also because of her "house of debauchery" (Artemis'  words) - and relationship with Ares.
Persephone is defined both by Apollo raping her and by her fated future status as Queen of the underworld (so her relationship with Hades). Hell, even the minor characters such as nymphs are defined by this relationship status / standard. Minthe is defined by her mean spirited personality yes, but Also because of her abusive relationship with Hades prior to the introduction of Persephone. Psyche is defined by her relationship woes with Eros. Daphne is defined by her relationship with Thanatos (and because shes a flower nymph) but also mostly because she looks like Persephone.
Rhea is defined by her marriage / relationship to Kronos (lets ignore the whole "fertility goddess power" plot for a second). Even Aetna is defined by Haphestus creating her! Is there not a single character (especially female) is isnt defined by their romantic love interest???Sorry. Maybe I'm overthinking this, but thats definitely how ot comes off as of late, in regard to the latest chapters.
Okay, same anon as earlier - I take it back somewhat - we have Artemis and Hecate that are not defined by their romantic relationships - but rather their lack of one.
However the way they are shown - it still comes off as a standard - "Artemis is stingy / a stick in the mud" because shes not romantically involved and is "barbaric" (according to Hera). And Hecate is still somewhat defined by her being Hades' employee (and cheerleader for him and Persephone to be together).
So technically yes, we have at least 2 characters that are not defined by their romantic interests / relationships, but they are still held to the standard of their "un-ladylike / undesirable" because their not romantically involved.
(I guess I should count Demeter, but only because shes more defined by just being "Persephone's overbearing mom" )
7. i think whats also kinda weird about this trial is like?? persephone is obvs framed as not liking the attention (bc duh) but she didnt like the previous press either, she wanted to be private, but wouldnt being with hades force her to be in the spotlight that makes her uncomfortable? also the citizens of the underworld already dislike hades, why would they want a uncontrollable felon as their queen, even if she found innocent? idk the whole thing just makes the endgame less plausible, tbh.
8. love that rachel was able to find a random deity name to name her random nymph the greek word for "beans" meanwhile apparently cant google actual greek names for even one off characters? like andrew, ellen, george, alexis, damian, luke, phoebe, sophia, and so any other english names are also greek, but she cant even bother with that? what exactly is her "research" if she cant even bother to spend 30 seconds googling greek names? at this point LO seems determined to be as un-Greek as possible.
9. wait so everyone in LO went from having no idea who persephone was, to her only showing up on ONE magazine cover, to now being the most well known person with a signature color? all in the span of two weeks with no genuine public outings? how does that make sense? also white isnt even her signature color if 90%+ the female cast and even a lot of the men ((including ZEUS) all wear it too.
10. the fact the courthouse WASNT the areopagus, aka the place in greece where they say the first ever trial ever happened and where the court system was invented, is just another point of rachel talking out her ass about being "respectful" or "researched" on greece and their mythology. its literally one of the most famous mythology spots ever with some fantastic stories to it and she's just like "nah! boring rectangle will do!" like why even both with mythology then if its this devoid of it?
11. Anons are saying Hades in the FS chapter is leaning down and talking to Persy like a child. Say it aint true.
(I wanna see. I thought RS was finally giving Persy adult proportions). 😨
12. So wait, hold up. I kinda get where RS is coming from with the law school in the underworld (because Hades is supposed to be a kinda Judge, jury, executioner situation in the afterlife when it comes to mortals and their "punishments" and whatnot). However, is RS stating that the ONLY law school / courthouse exists in the underworld? If so, why? Why wouldn't Athena be there then. She's a goddess of strategy and justice (among other things).
Also is RS really implying that Hades owns not only the banks and underworld but the law too? She really wants Hades to be a Gary Sue along side her Mary Sue - Hades controls everything that matters and since its his realm and blah blah blah rules, Zeus, king of the gods cant do anything about it.
(Which is dumb. Because you would think that because Persephone committed the crime in the mortal realm / on, or near Olympus that therefore she would be brought back there to dole out justice under Zeus jurisdiction because she committed the crime in His Realm). 
13. FP Spoiler ahead:
Why on earth couldn't the reporters have Greek names? There is so much wrong and bad with this story, yet this irks me so much. It is Brenda all over again.
14. i dont really get the point of the trial plotline, tbh. even persephone says she should be punished and held accountable, but hades is framed in the right for trying to go against that and weasel her out of it. so?? plus zeus has legit reason to punish them? persephone is a danger to others, demeter and hermes both committed treason to cover it up, and hades was harboring a fugitive of the law and is now trying to force the system to let her go. how is zeus in the wrong for this?
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akookminsupporter · 3 years
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Hey! Ah.. how do i start. Tbh i wanted to talk about this for a long time but i was scared of being misunderstood or getting hate. But i am happy some people talked about this in your blog so i feel more comfortable sharing my thoughts now.
It's about queerness of members. I know it might sound disrespectful since assuming someone's sexuality is not okay at all. But as your anon, and someone who commented under it said, i also thought JK gave off the queer vibe (i hope i used the right words and didn't sound disrespectful)
I couldn't talk about this before because in Jikook, Jimin is always seen as feminine thus more queer somehow (as if it works like that)
We have to admit most of the shippers tend to put roles on them; one female and one male- and this shows how affected they are by heteronormativity. As you can guess, Jimin is usually the female and Jungkook is the male in Jikook. That's also because of people's lack of understanding of lgbtq+ relationships and them finding ships nothing more than entertainment. Not even mentioning how lgbtq+ is portrayed in BL works. In 90%+ of BL works (such as mangas or webtoons) there are a male who has more feminine traits and BOTTOMS and the other one the opposite. (They also portray females weak and this also irritates me. Those works portrays lgbtq+ so wrong. I'd rather not use feminine word in this case but i have no choice unfortunately)
People think Jimin is 'gay' because he is feminine and he turned Jungkook 'gay'. Because real men doesn't love other men since they are muscular and big and manly and definitely straight!!! But if they are going to be gay then they only get attracted to feminine men. Also if they are having sex, manly man only tops and feminine man takes the d, whines and is slutty.
This all proves people have little to no idea how lgbtq+ relationships work. But i can't help but think it's not their fault entirely either because lgbtq+ is shown to them like this. In their head, there is supposed to be a male and female for a relationship to work.
You can see this wrong mindset in so many fanfics too. Even without me saying it, you can understand what i mean right? Think about the fics you've come across and remember how Jimin and Jungkook's characters are usually displayed.
This all leads people to think Jimin is the gay one (because more feminine means more queer (?))
TOXIC as f. I hate that they belittle female role in society by this, too.
Maybe people won't admit it but i am pretty sure majority of jikookers think like this, too. That's why i was scared of sharing my opinion in this case.
That in my opinion Jungkook gives off the queer vibe more. I was scared when i say this people will think i'm assuming Jungkook is gayer, more feminine, more bottom etc.
But it has nothing to do with it. Why people even relate queerness with sexual roles is still a mystery to me.
Anyways, i'm glad to be finally talk about this and get it off my chest. Hope you have the bestest day, bye :)
Anyways, basically i was going to say i also get this queer vibe from JK. I was scared of saying this before because people have a weird idea of queerness. They relate it to being feminine or gayer or smth. which is ridiculous. That's why, as anon and other blogs said, people think Jimin is the most queer. When you say JK seems more queer, people take it as us thinking JK is less manly (?!) or even is more of a bottom (like, how and why?) We should admit people has a weird definition of lgbtq+ relationships. Intentionally or unintentionally (affected by heteronormativity), they put roles on them: a female (cute, small and more queer (?) one etc.) and male role (masculine, big, more likely to straight one). You can see the results of this mindset in fanfics the most. Another example of this is, when shippers share something about Jimin, they tend to use words like 'beautiful, pretty, baby, cutie' and for Jungkook 'handsome, hot, cool, manly'. And by no means i mean this is wrong or they mean bad. But subconsciously people have a basic idea of how to describe a male and female and it shows. This is a sensitive subject, and although i'm pretty much interested in it, it's possible of me to be misunderstood considering my lack of english skills. So i'm gonna stop here. I hope people will put more effort to understand lgbtq+ and stop putting roles on us.
Anon I understood perfectly what you are saying. And you are quite right.
There is a misconception of roles? That maybe Jimin and Jungkook have in their (possible) relationship.
In this weird analogy that many use to assign roles in a homosexual couple there is always the question: who is the woman and who is the man in the relationship? And already from that point everything is wrong. I think the simplest concept of a homosexual relationship is that there is not just one man and one woman, there are two men. What sexual position they want to have or not is nobody's problem and it's not a subject I want to touch now or ever, I have my limits too.
As for Jimin, there's this concept that because he's thin, small framed even though Jimin is technically tall, adding his cute side? Many automatically assume that he is the "woman in the relationship" plus because of his physical appearance and that Jimin is more connected? With his feminine side the conclusion for many is quicker.
Jungkook on the other hand is a manly man. He boxes, he is athletic, he wears black clothes ergo he is "the man" of the relationship. A rather quick conclusion for many as well.
For many it is inconceivable to think of two "manly men" as homosexuals. Because there is this concept embedded in their subconscious that in a relationship there is a man = the strong one and a woman = the weak one. And that is projected even in a relationship between two men. I don't think that's homophobia, just the consequences of the society we live in.
There is also the misconception that being feminine is a bad thing. Or weak. Calling a man feminine or saying they have feminine behaviour? Is an offence. Being feminine is a negative thing if you are a man. Which Is wrong in my opinion. Being connected to your feminine side makes you more powerful and self-confident, and in my opinion that has absolutely nothing to do with your sexuality.
I don't know if I've said this before and I don't know exactly if it contradicts what I've said so far but I've never seen Jungkook as the dominant one in their (possible) relationship. And here I will make an analogy with BDSM because I feel more comfortable with that (don't ask).
Let's imagine a BDSM relationship, there we would have a dominant and a submissive, right? To me in that scenario Jimin would be the dominant. I'm not sure if Jungkook would totally be the submissive in the relationship but he certainly wouldn't be the dominant.
Jimin is not entirely as many see him, he is not weak, he is not innocent. Jimin is dominant (in a good way) he likes to be in charge, he likes to speak his mind, not necessarily have the last word in the argument but he likes his voice to be heard. I have always talked about Jimin's duality, this is also what I was referring to. Jungkook on the other hand is not like that. Notice how I didn't talk about the physicality of both of them? Because that has absolutely nothing to do with it.
One example you gave and which I want to defend myself against because I do it myself is the use of words like: beautiful, pretty, baby, cutie etc. I use those words interchangeably between Jimin and Jungkook, is it weird that for me they have no gender? I think it would be hypocritical to deny that Jimin and Jungkook sometimes act in a cute way. Aegyo is an important part of their culture and among idols as well, I think it's automatic that when Jimin or Jungkook are doing aegyo the first word we think of is: Cute. I think the use of them are not isolated, there is always a context and a scenario, at least for me.
I don't know if the intention of this was to start a conversation about it, but it's certainly interesting what you said, and as I said I agree with you. I hope that was reflected in my opinion. If I'm wrong about something please tell me. If you didn't understand what I said, please ask me. If anyone wants to say anything about this, my ask box is available.
P.S: this is precisely the reason why I don't turn off the anonymity option in the asks. Sometimes people are afraid to give their opinion.
Anon, don't worry, my blog is a safe place. And as long as you come with the best intentions, I will always read you. Thanks for sharing your opinion. If you disagree with anything I said, please let me know.
Sorry for any grammatical errors.
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savnofilter · 3 years
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no nuance november!
a/n: which is basically you have a bunch of opinions and dont explain any of em' and let your followers discuss them (much more suited for tiktok sjsnj). i'll be doing it since it compiles with many topics like fandom, racism, lgbtq+, politics and etc. i highly encourage people to do this simply because why not? feel free to send your own opinions n stuff, i wanna know what my followers think!!
disclaimer!! ⚠️ all of these are broad, not pin pointing certain people or situations. even though these are my opinions these were all in fun and have been collected over the years and will change as time goes on. nothing is sugar-coated so thread carefully. feel free to agree or disagree. :)
warning(s): mentions of racism, p*do micro aggression, fetishizing, toxicity, abuse, politics, labelling, mental health, cancelling, fandoms, ages.
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key:
iswis = i said what i said, no explanation to that one.
whe = will happily explain.
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stop sexualizing gay/m|m/yaoi relationships. it's not only demonizing to the males, it's also very fetishizing. (iswis)
most times /10 yall root for "feminine men" when you really mean white boys and fetishised asian men on social media. (whe)
bullying someone isnt educating. you either cant cope with the fact people have different opinions from you or you have a struggle with things either always never going your way or the opposite. (iswis)
straight people will never have a say in lgbtq+ issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)
white people will never have a say in poc issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)
poc will never have a say in black people issues. stop inserting yourself. (vice versa but im black and it happens more often to us lol) (iswis)
using the defense, "but black lives matter, right?" when one black person does something bad isnt facts, youre racist. (iswis)
fandom adults need to stop gatekeeping the target audience (demographics) to animes/shows. (iswis)
poc people can be racist. (whe)
even if a certain site was adult doesnt mean that every adult wants to see your porn. either keep it to yourself or tag properly. (iswis)
saying shit like, "im more xyz than you and im not even xyz" is not only disrespectful but disgusting. just because you believe in a popular opinion of a group does NOT suddenly make you a person in it, get over yourself. (iswis)
dont hate on people for the same things you have done at a young age. (ex: writing fanfic, seggs, etc) (iswis)
blaming a minor/someone mentally unstable for being abused is not only victim blaming, but it enables the notion that people who go those things that they wanted it. (iswis)
going off of that last point, if you do victim blame for situations and been in them yourself you either still havent coped with what you went through and still think it was your fault when it wasnt. (whe)
it's stupid people hate minors for being undeveloped when adults are the reason as to why people get traumas, abused and quite literally are destroying the world right now. (iswis)
gen z is white as fuck. (iswis)
early 2000s kids are equivalent to 90s kids who use to post, "only 90s kids under this" and post something that 2000-5 experienced. (iswis)
dear 2005+ kids, abusing harmful substances and having sex doesnt make you grown. stop it. (iswis)
adults, being able to post porn doesnt make you grown or mature, stop believing that it does. (iswis)
just because it's a coping mechanism doesnt mean it's healthy. (iswis)
avoiding conflict doesnt mean youre mature. if there is an active problem and you know ignoring it will only benefit you and not the actual problem at hand that is selfish. (iswis)
black women generate clout for everyone. when we're hated the person gets patted on the back, someone appreciates black girls they are praised, and people of many groups repeatedly steal from our culture. (iswis)
YES THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING BLACK AND AFRICAN AMERICAN. (whe)
if youre black you do not have to be democrat OR republican, there are many other parties. (whe)
i do not trust either parties, no minority should. (whe)
this 2020 election was not a win for poc people no matter who won. (iswis)
we do not decide whether or not what to do on columbus day. it is up to the natives themselves. (whe)
pointing out other countries (current) faults is not racist. although the issue can be misconstrued, if proper research is done it safe to say it's an educated observation or opinion. (whe)
privilege heavily varies; ex, americans are seen as privileged, while the people who live in it experience a disadvantage because of the societal standards. within the country itself. (whe)
americans, stop saying that america is the worst country and there are other countries who are suffering much worse than we are. yes sometimes it sucks but do not label it as the worst. (iswis + whe)
white people are privileged and will always be until we break the racist issues deep rooted in EVERY community. (iswis)
9/10 when marginalized groups like (women, lgbt) are mostly focused on white people and never address the poc counter parts. using the excuse "well idk much about that" is not good enough and just promotes pseudo-white supremecy. (iswis + whe)
do not use aave. (iswis)
aave is not gen z language, stop calling it that. (iswis)
gay men (white especially) use black women and get praised for the things we do that are called ghetto. (iswis)
yes it is offensive if you touch a black persons hair with or without permission. we are not your pets nor zoo animals. (iswis)
and yes it is offensive if you see a black women with beautiful hair and assume it's fake or ask, "is it yours?" "is it real?" (iswis)
using jailbait as an excuse to lewd minors is just as disgusting. (iswis)
beauty standards for women is rooted from pedophilia. (iswis)
using other pedophilic relationships as an excuse to ship yours is disturbing and you shouldnt be near children at any capacity. (iswis)
everything doesnt need a label. (iswis)
the fact that gangs have been criminalized while mafias havent is racist and feeds the stereotypes that poc are criminals. (iswis)
people are more forgiving to white predators than to poc (neither are good but people let white off the hook more often). (iswis)
if youre okay with your friends being racists, creeps, abusers you are just as bad. (iswis)
although you can like what you like, making dark content shouldnt be as glorified as much as it is. (iswis)
some kinks do deserve to be kink shamed. (iswis)
adults need to be more held accountable when held in situations with minors. (iswis + whe)
everyone perceives the world differently, many people will see the same things you see differently. (iswis)
calling people crazy for questioning the things around them doesnt make them crazy, youre just asleep. (iswis)
the human body can function without a soul. (iswis)
stop disrespecting christianity. you wouldnt do the same with hinduism, islam and etc. (iswis)
the bible was altered by white men and the true meanings have been misconstrued. (iswis + whe)
bullying someone who you THINK is problematic is not excuse to be hateful. youre just scum and feel the need to justify your actions. (iswis)
not everyone has to like you and dont need a reason. (iswis)
just because you dont like someone doesnt mean you have to make a show of it. be mature and move along. (iswis)
yes callouts/cancelling has its place but it's never done right. (iswis)
"cancel culture" wasnt a thing till white people joined in. (iswis)
dont cancel someone for stuff they did years ago. bringing it up is important but not allowing them to understand, reflect, and apologize is not only bullying it defeats the purpose of bringing awareness. (iswis)
big writers need to stop complaining when one fic or a few dont do good. not only does it rub in small writers faces, it shows that if you need people's validation to write you probably shouldnt be writing. some works will be popular and some will flop, get over it. (iswis)
stop witch hunting & crucifying people for shit you have done or your friends have done and going "uwu sorry" when you get caught. (iswis)
90% people believe content creators with bigger audiences. (iswis)
people spontaneously posting, "uwu take care of your mental health" doesnt mean that they actually care. (iswis)
people are always quick to judge people with real mental health such as depression, anxiety, adhd, and etc are always the one to turn and pretend to be exactly what they just mocked. (iswis)
dont have kids if youre not going to take care of them. (iswis)
stop baiting baby otakus (people freshly getting into anime) into watching cp like yarichin bitch club or boku no pico. they are minors, it's not funny, stop it. (iswis)
stop being protective & toxic over anime characters. if they were real they probably wouldnt even like you. (iswis)
just because someone is your friend doesnt mean that they arent toxic or abusive. (iswis)
start believing when people show their true traits. (iswis)
trauma happens in different forms, stop saying something didnt happen because it didnt go the way that has commonly happened or the way it occurred to you. (iswis)
stop saying minors should "know" while also being the loudest to say that our brains arent even developed till 25. (iswis)
the adult age should be raised to 20 years old. (iswis + whe)
tos should be raised to 16 years old. (iswis + whe)
minors take "18+" & "minors dni" out of your bio. (iswis)
yelling at minors for finding the content you freely put out without any care is your fault not theirs. (iswis)
there are plenty of adult sites that are more confined for adults but you guys ignore them because youd rather get popular on writing erotica on a popular social media platform. (iswis)
trying to cancel someone over one mistake and or blowing said things out of proportion is toxic and stupid. (iswis)
if you take someone saying they need to distance themselves for mental health reasons personally and make them feel bad for it youre an actual shitty person. (iswis)
if someone disrespects you, you have the right to say whatever you want in response. (iswis + whe)
stop hypersexualizing everything (adults especially). (iswis)
the excuses of, "they look grown" "i mentally think xyz" "theyre fake" is creepy and weird and yall should come up with a better excuse. (iswis)
yes i do believe minors should be writing for minors only, but i will not give a shit if an adult does if said characters are aged up in every work sfw or not. (iswis)
stop saying teens cant go through traumatic things and cant experience mental illnesses. it just shows that you werent cared for as a child and never get the therapy for it. (iswis)
gen z has a very colonized idea of activism. (iswis)
feminism was never for all women until the rest of us forced ourselves in. and even now it's still an issue whether or not people realize it or not. (iswis)
poc solidarity doesnt exist as much as we try to make it happen. (iswis)
colorism is an issue, and no you will not tell me otherwise. (iswis)
the hot cheeto girl is offensive and demeans black & hispanic culture. (iswis)
stop bashing minors for breathing, just say youre mad youre not young anymore and move on. (iswis)
black men are the white people of black people. (iswis)
there is no reason as to why you anyone would refer to black people as "blacks". nor should you (non-black people) be arguing whether or not to say nigga even with the hard r. (iswis)
if you (pertains to white people) think white privilege doesnt exist but go on to make fun of or ignore minority problems you are the living and breathing example of what we are talking about. (iswis)
loli/shotas are fucking disgusting and people who like it deserve to be tortured for eternity. (iswis)
seriously, stop using theyre "fake" as an excuse. (iswis)
if youre comfortable with being hateful to someone but still consider yourself a nice person because you do the hate minimum to be a decent human, youre either a narcissist or have a god complex. (iswis)
coons have no say in black issues. (iswis)
people need to stop blaming the "home wrecker" for ruining the relationship when it was the s/o's fault as well. there is no home to enter without an owner. (iswis)
stop saying any asian man yo see reminds you of a haikyuu character and or any anime character. it's racist. (iswis)
stop saying any asian person looks like a kpop idol, it's racist. (iswis)
stop downplaying and invalidating when black women go through traumatic things. not only does it promote that we have to be strong and save everyone else's problems, it says that we dont have emotions and cant be a victim which is disgusting. (iswis)
if you say shit like "minors curate your own experience" then go and turn around to say you REFUSE TO TAG YOUR SHIT YOU ARE LITERALLY MAKING THE PROCESS OF CENSORING HARD! (iswis)
white women are just as much of a problem as white men. only difference is sex keeping them apart. (iswis)
stop saying kpop is racist. expecting artists from a different political progression to understand that things can be offensive is bland. (iswis)
people accept boy groups fuck-ups more than they accept girl groups. and most times out of ten, the males are worse. (iswis)
if you engage in nsfw conversation with a minor, it is your fault they responded. (iswis)
anyone can be abused. (iswis)
stop coddling adults and bullying minors. (iswis)
most of you females have internalized misogyny and dont even know it. (iswis)
you can callout issues without having to drag a group of people. same with uplifting. (iswis)
if youre fine with being a sheep unfollow me. (iswis)
seven deadly sins is not a good anime. (iswis)
there is a difference between boku no hero academia fans based on if they call it "bnha" or "mha". (iswis)
ships literally are not serious stop harassing people over ships. (iswis)
do not harass creators of series because they do something with THEIR story. make your own. (iswis)
stop saying horikoshi sexualizes his women too much/mineta is the worst when you guys enjoy shows like one piece, hunter x hunter, naruto and etc. (iswis)
minors often or not are sheeps (heres your sign you dont have to agree with everything other people say). (iswis)
just because minors can be mature doesnt mean that they are adults. stop treating them as such. (iswis)
we should give more voice actors in the asmr (idk what to call it) community more recognition instead of just one. (iswis)
writers are the ones that send hate to other writers. anon hate is so corny and if you do it that goes to show that you are truly a toxic person wearing a fake mask of kindness when youre not on anonymous. (iswis)
stop being mean to smaller writers because they did not have as much luck as you. (iswis)
stop blaming your readers because one story flopped. (iswis)
ignoring someone's shitty actions encourages them to do it more. (iswis)
going to school and getting a job is much harder now than it was before. (iswis)
being an adult doesnt automatically make you mature. just because youre older doesnt mean youre better or you opinion is more valuable. it just shows that you werent heard when you were younger. (iswis)
there should be no reason as to why someone of the age of 18 should be having any romantic relationship with someone who is a minor. (iswis)
hawks is a shitty character. (iswis)
bakudeku isnt toxic. (iswis)
just because bakugo is in a ship, doesnt mean it's toxic. (iswis)
stop shipping male characters together simply because they have screen time together. it's creepy. (iswis)
almost all of 1-a students have ptsd and anything close to the after effects of being traumatized. (iswis)
no, editing characters to be poc is not racist. youre just mad they arent "white" when they never were. theyre asian and come in many colors as well. (iswis)
wanting to only be with a different race to get a mixed baby is fucking disgusting. (iswis)
stop ignoring pedo relationships between older women and younger boys and or with older women in general. (iswis)
males can be abused, stop telling them to suck it up or that they cant go through things. (iswis)
shaming young females about things they cant control is misogynistic and is damaging to their identity and shouldnt be excused. (iswis + whe)
not all females have to shave. (iswis)
what you dont like in someone is the projections you see of yourself on other people that you dont like about yourself. (whe)
popular bl stories extremely misrepresent gay relationships and frankly it's disgusting that theyre boosted as much as they are. (iswis)
jjba isnt ugly, you just watch animes to sexualize the characters. (iswis)
it's shitty that anime and kpop only became cool once white people stated to like it and made it mainstream. go gatekeep family guy or something. (iswis)
if you have been anime fan for a long time you were with bullied/teased for just generally liking it or you were a weirdo who recreated shit from it. (iswis)
weaboo and weeb were bad terms till we made them positive?? literally otaku is the word for it but we use weeb instead lol. (whe)
normalize and promote educating someone without going straight to bullying them. (whe)
haikyuu isnt really a good manga/anime nor is the art style the best but the characters make up for it. (iswis)
stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to manipulate your narrative. (iswis)
toxic positivity is manipulative and if you have to make it back handed you are not as nice as you like to make it seem. (iswis)
studying a major doesnt mean youre actually good in the subject. (iswis)
normalize people realizing their past mistakes and growing from it. (iswis)
do not self diagnos unless you actually feel like you may have that issue and would like to seek help. mental health is not a personality trait. (iswis)
stop projecting onto people. (iswis)
stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to fit your narrative. (iswis)
stealing any type of work should not be tolerated. (iswis)
constantly trying to trigger someone to go back to their old ways (being toxic, abusive, addiction, suicidal etc) after changing is toxic and manipulative. (iswis)
if you make jokes about hurting kids and or feel the need speak badly about them i do not want to speak to you. (iswis)
the human brain wasnt developed to understand complex ideas such as death or the universe. (iswis)
we will never truly know what is beyond our skies. (iswis)
thats all, thanks for sifting!
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x-spooks · 3 years
Text
Just Right. (Got7 AU) Ep. 1
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This is going to be a tugboat of a love storyline. Your name is Inez-Mi. Your stage name is Nyx. You’re the newest member of an existing K-Pop girl group, Goddess, who happens to be under JYP. You’re replacing the leader who left abruptly and under shh, shh, circumstances. This is my first post so if you have questions/concerns/comments please fell free. 
Sweat ran trails down the curvature of your neck, disappearing under the collar of your plain black T. It clung to your tacky skin leaving nothing to the imagination. Your chest heaved as your lungs were forced to take sharp scorching breaths. You were definitely questioning your sanity as you stared at your reflection and those of your fellow members. You weren't Asian slim. You weren't build for show. You weren't quite athletic either. Nope. You were comparing yourself to the 4'10" to 5'5", 90 to 100lbs, flawless Koreans, Chinese, and Japanese dolls. The instructor snapped his fingers. "Nyx, you're delayed half a step." He voiced annoyed in Hangul. "I'll improve." You breathed. Your smoky gray eyes met his black ones. You lowered your gaze and bowed deeply.  He narrowed his eyes while a hiss of disbelief left his thin lips. Mister Cho had made his disapproval painfully clear. Specially in front of your fellow members and the big wigs.  If it wasn't for your father's reputation and name you would've bounced after two days. But you were a Moon. A daughter of an Idol turned famous producer/Actor who gave his free time to excel a company he was a board member to, JYP Entertainment.  You rose from your bow.  "Again." Mister Cho demanded. Over dramatized groans filled the practice room. A Korean member, Song-I, mouthed a few curses about you being a foreigner and something about choking you to death.  A laugh busted from your pouters lip. You weren't one to flex, but you wouldn't take anything physical from anyone specially Song-I dramatic whiny no having ass.  "Moon Inez-Mi!" Mister Cho yelled. "Are you wasting all of our time?" Your laugh died in the back of your throat at hearing your full name, "No, Sir." You military straightened your spine.  "Everyone dismissed expect Nyx." He growled with impatience, "You stay here until you get it right."  You nodded refusing to get upset. You bit hard on your inner lip until you tasted iron. You waited until everyone was long gone before you let your frustration leave you. Your lungs took in a long stinging pull of air. Instead of trying to break your knuckles against the wall of mirrors, You counted backwards from hundred letting your breath leave your chest slowly.  After a good five minutes, You walked over to the sound system and snatched up the remote. You stabbed the play button. Music pumped out of the giant speakers arranged in the far corners. You started to do the mind numbingly simple steps. You felt like such a sale out to your gender. Women in history fought tooth and nail to not be seen as walking sex and how you were flushing their progress down the toilet.  With every movement your voluminous curves gave way more than your full Asian members.  You needed to talk to your Dad.  You shoved all those thoughts aside and focused on the task at hand. Listening closely to the music you continued to dance. You sighed at your reflection after dancing to the same track fifteen times. But You finally got the timing right. Your hands found your slim waist. You did a side turn. You stared at your side profile through the mirrors. Your butt and bust were big even with the tight sports wear. You kinda wished you took after your dad more. But your mom's Mesoamerican/north-western European genes were definitely dominate at least in you.  Your eyes were large, circular with smoky gray iris and a deep double lid. Your  skin tone was pale with pink undertones. A body that definitely had a Mexican flare. You did have your dad's full pouty lips, delicate nose and his cheek bones.  You shook your head. "Fuck this." You sighed in English. You weren't ever going to be one of them. Movement caught your attention. You assumed it was your Dad checking in. He did it from time to time making all the other girls swoon. You let out another sigh, before masking your frustration. "Dad, your avid admirer are not here." Your perfect pitched Hangul voice was stinky with sweet sarcasm.  "Dad?"  Through the mirror, your eyes settled on a much younger man. He was handsome in a classic Korean drama way. It was then you noticed a few other guys staring in at you over his broad shoulders. They were all handsome in their own right. Your face went from white to scarlet in your embarrassment. You bowed deeply as you turned to face them. You tried to recall their names. "Please. Forgive my tone." You rose as she spoke in Hangul. K-Drama onyx eyes were cold as he took you in. You forced your expression to stay neutral. "I did not mean to be disrespectful." You tacked on. "Moon's daughter?" The tallest one asked not to you, but to K-Drama who had casually leaned in the door jam.  He nodded slowly with a blank expression, but his eyes were steady and unyielding.  Had you pissed him off before?  "You must need the room." You forced yourself to blink so you wouldn't be staring at their stunning faces. GOT7, you suddenly remembered. "Please excuse me. I will leave you be." You rushed over to the equipment stand and set the remote back.  "I heard you can do gymnastics?" One asked in perfect English.  You glanced over your shoulder and nodded slightly, "I did participate when I was younger." You confessed in Hangul as you turned towards the sound of a masculine voice. Mark. Of course, you would remember the only American other than yourself. Well that was a lie you had a duel citizenship. He slipped past K-Drama and did a front aerial like it was as easy as touching his toes. He landed a few feet away from you.  A smile took over your features as you gently clapped. Your embarrassment started to melt away. You took a good four steps forward and force your body to preform a back flip. You landed it out of pure muscle memory. You even did the proper posture for sticking it. You shook her head at your silliness. "I am Goddess's Nyx." You bowed again. A few loose strands of navy blue hair fell into your eyes and framed your face. You rose to see the members who were in the hall were now in the dance studio. K-drama didn't budge. He was still leaning against the width of the door observing.
Mark's smile could be heard in his voice as he introduced the members that were present. "The one still in the doorway is Jinyoung. Yugyeom is the tall one. That's Jackson."
You slightly bowed your head to Jinyoung and Yugyeom. 
When your eyes moved to Jackson, he did a front flip so strong he landed in the super hero pose. 
A genuine laugh left you as you slow clapped, "I wager your admirers appreciate it extremely." She teased in Hangul.
"You know it." He smiled as he rose from his stance. 
K-drama aka Jinyoung voice killed the mood, "Mark." 
"Hmm?" Mark glanced over to the door.
Jinyoung made the slightest motions that you barely see out from the corner of your eye.
"Are you following me?" You were suddenly distracted by the sting of annoyance in your older brother and New Manager of Goddess, voice as it seeped into the dance studio from the hall.  "Why would I follow you?" A deep male voice countered with venom sharpening his every syllable. "I belong here. You. You're just the spoiled brat to a withered idol who hasn't got it through his thick skull his time has long since past." Jinyoung slammed the door. Not only shutting himself out into the hall, but also silencing the argument.  "I don't know who that is, but they're in for a rude awakening." You dropped your beyond proper Hangul and picked up your American English. You started for the door. "That's our leader." Mark offered slightly annoyed himself.  You stopped in mid-step. "What?" You glanced over to him.  "Let me apology for him. JB and your Father aren't fans of each other." He offered hesitantly.  "It boiled over today." Jackson offered.  Your eyes went to Jackson then to the door while you wondered what had happened between JB and your dad. Everyone loved your dad or so you thought.  A sharp clap gathered all of their attention, "While they finish their yelling contest let's see who can land the most moves." Yugyeom suggested in Hangul, "I'll keep score."  "I'm in." Jackson and Mark said in unison. Their attention moved to you once you didn’t say anything. Jackson started to do a pleading puppy dog thing with his face. Mark smiled the sweetest smile and Yugyeom was laying the aegyo on thick. You playfully rolled your eyes while shaking your head. "The one with the least amounts of completions must purchase ice cream." You challenged in Hangul as you walked to the far side of the room. Sounds of agreement shot into the air.  "Are we to perform the exact combination or a particular combination we have the most success with?" You called over your shoulder. "Best at." They agreed.  "No simple combinations." You shot out in a playfully stern tone. You turned your back to the wall. You only had to wait a few seconds for Jackson and Mark to be next to you. "Ladies before gentlemen." You smiled. You took in a deep breath and made your Nikes do a few quick steps to get momentum. You forced your body to do a roundoff back tuck. You stuck it only to be abruptly face to face with a man who was beyond pissed. Your light eyes quickly took in his features. Two beauty marks above his left eye. His handsome features were set in a brooding expression. You would bet he always looked slightly intimidating. The little girl in you was instantly attracted. Like how you would fall for the rich bad boy in all those mangas you read in your pre-teens.  You saw your brother was shoulder to shoulder with him from your peripheral. Well, as close as a 6'3" could be to a 5'11".  You smiled a polite smile, but blatantly ignoring their combined attitude and turned on the heels of your Nikes. "Who proceeding?" "Inez-Mi." Your brothers voice was firm. "Il-Gun." You turned to face him but continued walking backwards towards Mark and Jackson.  "Its time to go." He spoke in Hangul through clenched teeth.  You didn't stop walking, "Sweet, smooth, satisfying ice cream is the reward." You voiced in Hangul as you felt the wall at your back. You leaned against it in a relaxed pose. You looked to Mark and Jackson then simply motioned for the next one to go.  They didnt budge. You looked to the man next to your brother. You tried to keep your face neutral. His dark gaze locked onto her gray ones. If looks could kill. His kicked out chin and grimacing lips would make anyone with sense scurry.  But did you have any? Nope. Your American arrogance kicked in. "Most honorable Lim Jae-Beom," You said in your sweetest Hangul tone, "you're going to receive lock jaw if you keep clenching your teeth and pushing out your chin like such." Your foreigner feature were set in a concerned expression. Mark, Jackson, and Yugyeom burst out laughing but quickly zipped their lips under JBs murderous stare. Jinyoung disguised his laugh as an awkward cough somewhere out of sight.  "Now!" Gun snapped.  You leaned off the wall unfazed by his anger and started towards them. You turned on your heels but continued to walk backwards "Forfeit means you owe me bubble tea." You smiled speaking English to Mark, Jackson and Yugyeom. Jackson confirmed with a kind expression. Mark flashed his famous smile and nodded. Yugyeom was red from trying to hold in his laughter. You turned and stopped in your steps. You were a few feet from the brooding twins. You bowed to JB and Gun, "It was a honor to meet you and please excuse my disobedience I did not mean to be disrespectful," You slowly rose with a soft demeanor. You turned at the waist slightly and waved goodbye at the guys. You even made a point to wave to Jinyoung who was casually sitting on the couch behind JB and Gun. His view point was perfect, you thought. He could watch everything unfold without being in the line of fire. You went out into the hall but before Gun shut the door behind him. You heard JB’s deep voice ask, "Why is she speaking like she's a descendant of royalty?" He was definitely angry. You laughed walking ahead of your brother. "Inez," Guns voice filled the hall, "this isn't funny." He growled, "Pissing off JB isn't worth the headache nor the ear full you're going to get from Dad. You need to learn your place." You rolled your eyes hard. "I can't comprehend the reason why?" Your voice caught some of his sassy tone. "Your my Guardian when father is not hovering. So would it not be you who receives father's wrath for not keeping me in my quote unquote place." The squeaking of his teeth grinding meant you had gone too far. "It's on Goddess' schedule for you to get ready for a radio interview." He talked through his teeth.  You stopped in your steps until Gun was beside you, "I’m sorry." Your dared a glance up to Guns’ profile. "I did not intend to shove back so hard." An angry smile took hold of his intimidation features. "Dad didn't risk his neck and name for you to fuck this up. You are now the newest member and Leader of Goddess." He started walking so fast that you could barely keep up. "Start acting like it." You wanted to lash out. To scream at him that you had avoided the Idol path with college and spending time in the state's with our mom. But it wouldn't help you. You would come across as whiney, pathetic, and unmanageable. Gun was right, anyways. Their dad found a way to make lemonade out of a scandalous situation. A situation that was being covered up even within JYP Entertainment. Only the higher ups knew what happened and they weren't talking.  All you were privy to was you were Goddess' Hail Mary pass. JYP Entertainment was going to drop the girl group, when your dad made the move to drag his 'multi-talented' daughter into the mix.  You rolled your eyes hard as you remembered the press release.  You were so lost in thought, you bashed into a slim, tall figure as you rounded the corner, "Excuse me," you bowed your head. "My apologies." Your embarrassment was written on your face as your eyes gazed up to a pair of grey, blue irises.  "No," The well dressed man paused once he saw Gun. He sized him up with a cold expression, "Excuse me. I'm late and wasn't paying attention." His voice was lighter than You would have guessed. He bowed while side stepping. "Its all for show." An amused smile tugged on your lips as you spoke English. Your eyes settled on his handsome face as he rose.  "Nyx?" He asked with a spark of recognition in his eye and finger gun pointing at you. You nodded with a kind smile. You thought of Got7 and remembered Mark and Jackson weren’t the only regular English speaker. "Bam Bam?" You countered. You definitely liked how his expression reflect his mood. There was no way he was Korean.  A cocky smirk took over his full lips.  "You might want to count to ten and mentally prepare yourself." You commented with some regret lingering in your voice.  He arched a well manicured brow in confusion while losing his smile. "I might've," you paused thinking of a nice way to say you straight out disrespected his leader, "danced on JB’s last nerve." His full lips broke into a grin, "No worries." He laughed, "we do it all the time-" "BamBam." Gun voiced annoyed clearly ready to get out of here. He bowed his head in the slightest way. You sighed under your breath, "Gun-Hulk Smash." You felt Guns grip on your wrist. You had to resist ripping it out of his hand. You glanced down at your combined flesh. You were unimpressed. You softened your expression when your eyes found BamBam. "I am behind in my schedule as well it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance," you spoke in Hangul as you bowed again. "Good luck."  Gun started walking while pulling you with him. "You too," BamBam smiled a kind smile that reached his eyes. His expression soured at Gun as you was tugged away. Once you two made it to the elevator, you tore your wrist from his grasp. Your light eyes narrowed as you stabbed your index finger into the up arrow. You wanted to say something, anything clever to make it clear he wasn't your guys Father, but nothing came to mind.  The elevator dinged open.  You got in after Gun. You went to the buttons and poked the floor you needed. While the doors were shutting you saw BamBam watching you two. You smiled a polite smile and waved. 
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omgokiguess · 4 years
Text
wow guys i just got out of rehab today
first of all. it was so terrible except for some of the people there. but also a couple of the people there really sucked too.
the staff was TERRIBLE. they were literally so mean and power hungry. i was friends with basically every patient (except for the few shitty ones) and was really nice to them.... like i took in this innocent 20yo girl who started calling me her big sister and i helped this 21yo girl so much with her anxiety..... like i took care of everyone that i could and i stuck up for everyone that the staff treated like shit. and the staff was so fucking rude to me. the whole staff said so many times “we have no problem giving you extra phone time/computer time to take care of things like work, aftercare, legal problems, financial problems, etc” but literally every single time i asked to call work or call my lawyer or anything i got a no. it literally took me two full weeks to get things straightened out with exelon and i literally got let go from anthro because they would just not let me get on the phone so that’s cool. i never once was able to speak to my lawyer or my pre-trial officer. neat. also i got in a pretty heated fight with this one bitch employee who told me i was disrespectful because i asked her superior to open the laundry room for me because i had my period and needed new underwear out of the dryer. we were like screaming at each other and she ended up being sent home for four days. two guys actually ended up leaving randomly and left all their shit including their phones and wallets. that’s how bad the staff was.
the doctor was really good and knowledgeable and helpful and i really liked him. he was really chill. but i do have to say he really was pushing meds on not just me but everyone. i didn’t get on any meds though, and honestly one of the nurses congratulated me for not getting on meds when i left. i thought it was fucked up that i was the only person not on meds. we’re just alcoholics.... there’s no way we’re all fucking psychotic or something. nobody was on less than 2 meds besides me and i would say the average number of different meds was about 4 for somebody my age.
the staff just really frustrated me. it’s rehab so obviously there are a lot of rules for the sake of having rules and i honestly did not have a problem with the rules even though a lot of them were very silly. like you would not find me complaining about the unhealthy food, the fact that they said the gym would be open certain hours but was actually never open because they were “understaffed,” that our bathrooms were locked from 7:30am - 9:30pm and 25 people had to share two toilets, that there were essentially no covid-19 precautions, that somebody checked where i was every 15 minutes, that smoking a pack of cigarettes a day is okay but the juul is not, that i had to get the actual doctor to approve me using contact solution or allergy medication, or any other stupid thing they enforced. i literally only complained about the fact that i couldn’t talk to my employer(s), couldn’t talk to my lawyer, couldn’t talk to my pre-trial officer, couldn’t figure out my aftercare, couldn’t call my therapist, and that the staff spoke to me like i was either an idiot, a delinquent, or like i was a bitch.
i did put up one little stink though. this bitch that worked there, if we were in our rooms, when she checked on us she didn’t knock she just fucking opened up the door, so i decided to just chill in my room and read in the nude one day cause i knew she would just open the door without knocking... and wouldn’t it be fun for her to have to deal with the sight of my entire bush..... so i went for it lmao. she told the entire staff that she walked in on me LOL and the “director of operations” (this woman is truly a dumb cunt) asked my roommate, who was a 45 year old MD from lake forest, if she wanted to switch roommates (???) and dr. nancy my hero was like “um no i actually lucked out with erin and also diana should learn to knock.”
anyway, nancy and brittany my two fave people, left on the same day which really sucked but whatever. then sam left which also whatever... i loved her too. and then..... oh god i hate to admit this so much.... but then michael came in. he made it in 3-ish days before i left.
i literally have NO IDEA why this would be, but okay the protocol is before you go to rehab you go through alcohol detox in the hospital, so i was an inpatient in the hospital for 5 days. i slept through most of that because they put me on valium for those 5 days so that I wouldn’t experience the hells of alcohol withdrawal. i’m glad i was asleep for most of it though because there was nothing at all to do, they had like 3 different crossword puzzles and no TV but as it turns out..... i wasn’t in the alcohol detox section of the hospital.... for some reason they put me in the psychotic wing..... there were only 6 patients total in that wing and i was the only person living in reality. one woman escaped the hospital because she thought her husband was telling her to leave, and the other 4 men were handcuffed to their beds. i was the only person in there with any sense of reality, and i had gotten there in the middle of the night so i was unaware of other wings in the hospital. on my last night there, they moved me to “2 north” aka the normal alcohol detox wing, which probably had 100 people in it. so in the morning we all had breakfast together and i was like WHAT THE HELL..... I COULD HAVE MADE FRIENDS HERE.... and that’s when i met michael. i knew him for like a full 90 minutes total in inpatient but we were literally instant best friends. we met because some old men were telling me jokes trying to get me to laugh and he was sitting nearby and he was like “so how old are you like 35?” and i was like “you’ve got to be kidding me fuck you....” and he was like “yeah lol i’m kidding” and i was like playing back, like “so how old are you like 45?” cause he looked about 30 and he was like “yes” and i was like okay bullshit so he showed me his hospital band and it said 45..... and i was like okay this is ridiculous. anyway he had been to the rehab i was going to before so he told me about it and he gave me a note for sam and i just thought he was really cool. he was getting ECT treatments which is “a treatment most commonly used in patients with severe major depression or bipolar disorder that have not responded to other treatments. ECT involves a brief electrical stimulation of the brain while the patient is under anesthesia.” aka it’s literally where they put those diodes on your brain and shock you. he got 16 treatments. i thought he might end up back in rehab with me. but he spent like 2 full months in inpatient which is super abnormal, almost everyone is there for exactly 5 days like me. anyways
so michael shows up right before i leave and the big question is WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME...... i spent like 3 days with him nonstop and we can probably all see where this is going but.... this dumbass of course falls for him....???? there were some cuties in rehab and i had NO INTEREST in any of them but idk michael is just kind of.... the personality i’ve been looking for.
couple problems. 1. i have a boyfriend. 2. michael is 5′6″ .... (???) .... 3. i cannot get his fucking stupid smile out of my head and i’m hoping i was just sexually deprived for weeks and this is just a dumb thing BUT
idk my boyfriend like made all these promises of things he was going to do for me while i was in rehab and he kind of didn’t follow through on any of them. i really basically only told him and my sister that i’m going to rehab and my sister lives in boston and so i kind of assumed he would do the things he promised he would do, which clearly was stupid on my part. i can’t rely on him. i should have learned that by now... if i want something done i have to do it myself. i didn’t even ask very much of him. he basically promised four things. 1. he would take care of my guinea pigs. 2. he would check on my car to be sure it doesn’t get impounded 3. he would clean my room before i get back and 4. he would bring me the stuff i need (contact lenses to fucking see, hairbrush, tampons, other necessities) since they wouldn’t let me leave hospital care between detox and rehab. the only one of those he did was take care of my guinea pigs, which is essentially nothing because he goes to whole foods every day and his MAID cleaned their cage.
and idk, we were allowed 10 minutes of combined computer and phone time a day (which is literally nothing), and i always called him and ignored the computer because i thought he would want to hear from me and i would want to hear from him too, but at least 30% of the time i left phone time upset and crying. i mean i was turning my whole entire life around and it took him 13 days just to check to see that my car wasn’t impounded, and he had the audacity to complain that he was overwhelmed with all the stuff he had to deal with on my behalf even though it was literally just feeding my guinea pigs and then he had his own work shit. i suspect he’s taking more adderall than he should again. but i can’t even complain. his dad found the lawyer that may end up saving my life. 
and anyway. he never ended up cleaning my room (he wasn’t even gonna clean it himself, he was going to hire someone to clean it and he couldn’t even do that even though he promised. i don’t need it i just kind of thought he was gonna keep his promise), and it took him 5 days to bring me the stuff i need. i kept in one pair of dailies for 5 days (i wore my last pair over from detox) and went blind for 2 days. my rehab was only 20 minutes from his house, a straight shot on the never-crowded 294. i left him with all of my debit cards and pins too, and bank logins so that he wouldn’t have to pay for anything i needed. 
and idk then when i talked to him, whenever i complained about rehab he would just kind of be like “this is why you should have gone to PSI” which is where he went to rehab for marijuana.... which costs and arm and a leg because his dad will pay for anything for him and he doesn’t understand that i’m paying for this myself. and i didn’t want some cushy rehab. i mean yeah i didn’t want the staff to be such a load of cunts but i didn’t want his cushy frilly rehab experience. i would have really liked my program if there had just been better people working there. and he wanted to talk about my sobriety so much and like.... i don’t want to talk about it with him. idk in his head i think he thinks i’m taking his exact same journey and like i’m NOT. like it’s not even the same drug. he acts like he totally understands and it’s like... yes there is a lot he understands but there’s a lot that’s different and there’s no way ANY two patients ever went through the exact same thing, ESPECIALLY when it’s different drugs!!!!
and i’ve been with him since about 1p today (he was late to pick me up, it was supposed to be noon, which he promised he wouldn’t be late, and him being late was also something i brought up a lot in rehab because it caused me so much stress..... i just KNEW he was gonna be late and it caused me a lot of anxiety and i told him this so much and he was still late) (and anyway the point here is).... i’ve been with him since 1 and he just keeps saying weird stuff about alcohol. which is EXACTLY why i didn’t want anybody to know i was going to rehab. like after eating hospital food for weeks i wanted to go to a nice restaurant and most nice restaurants serve alcohol.... which is FINE like i was not gonna drink.... but he kept saying things like “we probably shouldn’t go to a pub” or “lake forest food and wine hmm better not go there” and it’s like..... i’m fucking HUNGRY i purposely didn’t eat the hospital food because i wanted to eat good food and it took us till 2:30pm to get somewhere because he felt the need to beat around the alcohol bush.... and every time alcohol came up in conversation (which just HAPPENS because that is how life is....) he’d be like oh sorry shouldn’t mention that and it’s like I CAN HANDLE IT..... i literally finally said to him “wow I’m so glad I didn’t tell anyone i went to rehab because if everybody talked to me the way you’re talking to me that would make me want to drink”
and also right before i went to rehab i told him i was afraid i wasn’t going to like him anymore if i was sober. and boy was i right. and adding michael in did not fucking help. i told myself i would never like somebody fucking shorter than me but i can’t fucking help it. i’ve never liked people for their looks anyway and his personality is just fucking perfect. i can’t get his voice and his smile out of my head. and i trust him to be sober. i really do. this was his first relapse in five years, and he only spent one month drinking before getting help. and i think we could be sober together. 
idk maybe i was just so sex deprived that i was just horny or something. i don’t know.
i start online intensive outpatient tomorrow at noon. this week i have it wednesday thursday and friday but it’s gonna be different every week and somebody is going to at least speak with me every day. i’m doing it through derek’s practice and i told him to make sure i have a lot of homework.
i’m not sure how or when i’m going to get back to work. i don’t even really care though. i can always get another job. and after talking to my sister and working through some therapy at rehab, i almost think it’s best to move anyway. i think it would really help me to get away from my parents.
idk. my life is just so in limbo right now. i can stay on FMLA leave for 3 months and on my upcoming court date, that will mark one month. i think it might be wise to use the whole three months. it also might not be wise though because i need things to do. maybe if i could just get back to anthro.....
anthro terminated me in the weirdest way and i think my lawyer can get my job at anthro back for me with a simple letter. that might be the best thing for me right now. 
not to mention.... i haven’t been back to my apartment yet but.... the gold coast has been destroyed. i don’t know what i’m going back to at this point. this is really sad sad sad to say but i don’t think i will be living downtown chicago anymore, once i find some other solution or once this lease expires, i’m leaving. maybe i’ll stay in chicagoland but probably not. if i do stay in chicagoland i’m gonna be living in the suburbs. but i think it only makes sense to get out of here. i think it makes sense to go to the southeast. florida or atlanta or north carolina or virginia. california is always on the mind too but to move there i think i need to be really really confident in my sobriety.  
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heavenly-dio · 4 years
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A Slightly Bitter Love Story 1
Within UA's office building, through the twisting corridors and dozens of offices, you would find the head office of one Nedzu, the genius animal whose eye for talent and strategy remained unmatched. Within this office, a particularly curious group had assembled. Nedzu himself- it was his office after all- One of Nedzu's trusted teachers, the ever logical Aizawa Shouta, and, oddly enough, the Rank 5 Pro Hero Miruko, arms crossed and foot tapping in annoyance.
The two humans stood behind Nedzu's desk, flanking the small rodent as they stared at the student sitting in the center of the room. They were tall for a 17 year old, and they had longer black hair that fell down their face in long wavy strands, although it was still much shorter than Aizawa's own unkempt hairstyle. The boy, whose face was twisted into a sour expression of frustration, sat with his arms crossed, glaring at the Rabbit Hero with as much heat and anger as she had been sending his way for the last 15 quiet minutes.
Nedzu figured it was about time they broke that silence. “Shogeki-kun, you could just say no, you’ve been glaring at that file fo-”
“Alright sick, later-”
“Sit your ass down, boy!” Shogeki Akira groaned in frustration while Nedzu just sighed, asking Miruko to keep her voice down. She harumphed loudly, crossing her arms and continuing to bare her teeth at her student intern. He gave her back just as much as she gave him, really really not in the mood for her shit today.
“Shogeki-kun," Nedzu decided to try again, "While I can’t force you to accept this offer, I’m sure it will be of great benefit to the both of us.”
“Look Nedzu-sensei, I get it, I really do, but how the hell would I benefit from this? I already have to deal with my classes and training, not to mention my internship with this bitch!” He gestured to Miruko, who just rolled her eyes at him. “I don’t have time for any of this, not that I would want to do it anyway.”
“Hey brat," Shogeki looked back over at Miruko, who had lost her scowl, "Quit being a jackass and actually think this through. The League has had a leg up on the heroes for too long, and we finally managed to catch one. This is a victory these whelps," She gestured to Nedzu and Aizawa with her head, "Desperately need. Now quit causing problems and put what I've taught you into action."
The student pinched his nose, trying to ignore the small bit of shame he was feeling that was quickly replaced with more annoyance. He turned to Nedzu, "Alright, alright. Let's say I agree to this crazy ass plan you've got. What then? I still have my classwork, plus my extra coursework for advanced classes, and hero training, and my internship. I'm running on fumes at the end of my days as is, I don't have the time to play babysitter to some blonde bimbo in a sailor outfit."
"We've thought it over," Aizawa spoke up, bringing the students attention to him, "And we're prepared to transfer some of your classes into a workload only structure. You'll be given all of your work for that class at the beginning of the month, and you'll be able to complete them on your own time- Lectures no longer required."
Shogeki hummed, "Alright, but what classes? Hero training is obviously not an option, I'm acing the entirety of mathematics, so I guess that? And Modern Hero Art History, not that I give a damn about that class anyway."
“Is that so?” Nedzu glanced over at Aizawa in the corner of the room, who returned the look with a dead stare. Looking back, the ferret-like creature shuffled around a few papers on his desk and said, “I think we can drop Modern Hero Art and Mathematics.”
The student blew air out of his nose in thought, before he sighed, nodded his head, and leaned forward to sign the paperwork. He shook Nedzu's paw and asked,  “When am I getting her?”
“We’ll have the police bring her to your dorm in about a week. We’ll make your classmates aware of the basics of the situation and we’ll help you rearrange your room to accommodate.”
“Yeah, that makes sense" I'm gonna nee- Wait, wait wait wait, she’s gonna be shacking up with me?! I agreed to babysit her, not marry the psycho.”
Aizawa jumped in with, “There needs to be a constant watch over her, so measures will be taken to ensure she’s never more than 20 meters away from you. Any chance she has to escape or cause harm to another student, she’ll no doubt take, so you can’t let her out of your sight. Hygiene and other more private concerns will be deliberated to a female classmate of your choosing, however the large majority of her captivity is your responsibility.”
“The hell is gonna stop her from slitting my neck in my sleep?”
“We’ll be changing the lock on your door from the standard deadbolt to a special electromagnetic lock that Power Loader is designing. It’ll only open when a current of 2 Million Volts run through it, a dangerous level of electricity that very few people in this school have the ability to interact with.”
“Alright, I see how she’ll be unable to escape, but you glossed over the bit about her maybe killing me.”
“All staff and students will be made aware that opening that door themselves will result in severe consequences, meaning that if she kills you, she’ll be left to starve to death.”
“Glad to see my safety is of such a high conce-” Miruko clocked him on the head, a sign that he should probably quit running his mouth. Growling and feeling a bit of blood in his mouth, he swallowed and gave up trying to figure out the situation and just stood up to leave. “I’ll assume you assholes won’t just leave me to die and take my leave then. Need to make sure I hide most of my important shit at my dad’s place, but I’ll wait on you guys to help with the furniture stuff. Anything else I should know?”
“Yeah, actually.” Miruko spoke up, “Stop giving the cops such a hard time, you’re not a pro hero yet, so the cops are gonna have to go through the standard procedures whenever you actually bag a criminal. It’s not their fault, so stop acting like a jackass.”
“I’m not giving them a hard time, I’m just showing them a video on my phone that I’ve found to validate my actions.”
“Oh god, it’s not Stain’s video is it?” Aizawa asks from the corner.
“No, it’s a video of me saying ‘Shogeki Akira is my intern and he’ll do what he wants’.” Miruko gave the second-year student a look like she was just asking him to argue with her. Well, if she was asking…
“Well, you did let me record that video.”
“Because that was the only way I could get you to quit calling me at 3 am from the police station every time your sorry ass got arrested for beating up thugs when you couldn’t sleep!”
“And I haven’t woken you up since, now have I?”
“Shogeki-kun, you can return to class now.” Nedzu interrupted what was quickly becoming a pissing contest before either of them could come to blows, or more realistically, before Miruko could beat him into the ground for disrespecting her authority.
The younger hero in training was only too happy to leave, saying over his shoulder, “I don’t have to go to Mathematics anymore, so I’m heading back to my room. Later boys.” A snarky handwave followed and it was only Aizawa’s capture gear that stopped the rabbit hero from chasing him down.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
“Damnit man, I thought we told you not to get yourself expelled.” The voice that came from behind him was playful, if not still somehow mature at the same time.
With a heavy sigh, Shogeki looked up from packing a box with now-unneeded textbooks and over to his door, mildly upset to see Totsu standing there with his arms crossed. “Will you fuck off and leave me alone for once in your life, I’ve got enough shit to do without having to play 20 questions with you.”
“Oh please, we both know I’d kick your ass at-”
“Coffee table.”
“What are you, a wizard?! How do you do that?”
“You always guess coffee table first, even Hamada knows that, and she’s as scatterbrained as they come.” Totsu pouted, ignoring Shogeki’s very obvious annoyance and sitting on his bed. “What do you want, Totsu, I’m busy. I have to make room for a roommate, because being forced to live with all of you apparently wasn’t punishment enough.”
“Would you lighten up, it’s probably not that ba-”
“She’s a serial killer who’s killed over 90 people.”
“You’re complaining about sharing a room with a chick? Don’t you know that half of the guys in our class would kill to be in your shoes right now?”
“Did you literally not hear a single word I just said?”
“Wait, you’re tossing your neons?!” Totsu pointed to a box of neon wall signs wrapped in an excessive number of towels. “Dude, those are sick, I’ll give you 10,000 yen for them.”
“First of all, those are worth at least 500,000 total, so fuck off my dick with this 10,000 shit. Second, fuck you, third, I’m not tossing them, I’m taking them back to my dad’s place for safekeeping. Supposedly this bitch can kill with her teeth, so I’m not gonna give her chemical weapons in the shape of a glass pineapple.”
“Ooh, are we making fruit salads in here? I heard pineapple!” This time the voice was high pitched and feminine, and the face in the doorway was one made completely of water.
“Hamada, get out of here, we’re not making fruit salads, I’m movi- Why won’t you people leave me alone! Go away, Kikai!” Shogeki screamed at the large robotic student that had appeared behind Hamada, spooking them a bit. The robot charged down the hall, seemingly upset, leading Hamada to voice her thoughts on Shogeki’s rudeness. “Goddamnit, Totsu, go get Kikai and calm them down, I need to talk to Hamada about some shit.”
“Don’t go sleeping around, now, your new girlfriend will get all upset.” The shorter boy left with a cheeky laugh, ducking under a textbook thrown his way.
“Stupid bastard. You can’t even have sex, Hamada, your body doesn’t allow it… Right?” Shogeki shot the water girl a look, gesturing to her body.
“Well, not with you Sparky, you’d drive me a different type of crazy.”
“Can you not do this?”
“Like, I get what you mean, bu-” He shoved his arm into her shoulder and released a small shock, causing her body to lose its shape and collapse into a puddle, her clothes falling with wet smack.
“I get that you love talking, but seriously shut up for a minute.” She reformed just her upper body, sticking out of the floor and causing water damage that he’d probably have to fix later but whatever. “The principal is giving me one of those League bastards to keep an eye on, and there’s certain shit I can’t really do. You’re gonna be in charge of that shit.”
“Like what?”
“Like making sure she’s not turning a wall tile into a shank when she’s in the shower or something. Despite Totsu’s efforts, we don’t have co-ed bathrooms, so I’m not really allowed to be around when she’s showering, so you’ll have to tag in for that.”
“How’s it pay?”
“…Fuckin what?”
“How much are you paying me? This is a job right?”
“No, I’m not getting paid, so neither are you bitch. Got a problem, talk to Nedzu, now get out.”
“Fine, I will talk to Nedzu.” Hamada pouted, reforming the rest of her body and walking out of his room with her arms crossed.
With a deep sigh, Shogeki put the last few textbooks into the box and taped it up, carrying it down to the common room. He sent a message to his father to figure out a time to pick them up and went back up to his room. Taking a quick look around, he decided he’d done enough with his day and retreated back to his room, planning to lie down on his bed to wait until dinner. He used his phone to look up some extra info on this Toga chick he was gonna have to be putting up with. He was aware of the basics, just about anyone knew who the League of Villains were, and the names of the members had become common knowledge to most.
After 20 minutes of searching the internet, he still hasn't found any news of her capture. He had to give it to Miruko, when she decided she wanted to keep quiet she actually pulled off the impossible and didn't make a scene. Since he figured he wasn't gonna find anything he didn't already know, he put his phone to the side and crossed his arms behind his head. Once Toga was passed off to him, he fully expected his precious peace and quiet would disappear in its entirety. It would be wise to savor it while he still could.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
2-A Student Spotlight
Shogeki Akira- Male
Birthday- 8-10
Quirk- Electricity
Hero Name- The Gigawatt Hero: Shock Jockey
Heroic Rank 1
Academic Rank 3
6 foot tall, angry, tired, and rarely irrational. Extremely overworked and irritable. Top of the class, with a strong belief in the law. From a long family of servicemen. Black hair past his shoulders, often tied back. Piercings in his eyebrow, nose, ear and lips.
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Artwork by Brabbit
https://brabbitwdl16.tumblr.com/
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pfenniged · 4 years
Text
 tagged by @anathenma WOO GIRL <3
rules: tag 10 followers you want to get to know better
name: Lauren
gender: Female
star sign: Virgo Sun || Leo Moon || Leo Ascendent, which basically means I have the usually quiet reserved personality of an analytical, organised virgo on the fact of things, am usually the goofy, chill friend amongst my friends, and don’t like to take anyone’s shit, but if I am disrespected, I’m a sensitive six foot flower and withdraw from the world until I can get over it. xD I don’t like conflict.
height: 183cm/6 feet 
age: 27 (YIKES XD)
wallpaper on my phone: (I had to check XD) A calendar of May 2020 stylistically arranged around ribbons
house: Slytherin
ever crush on a teacher: Both my parents and my uncle are teachers and consequently I knew every teacher in my school as actual human people and not ‘crushes’ growing up. So no. XD
coolest halloween costume: I went as the Starbucks logo one year when I was eight, a gigantic Lady Luck die one year with a top hat covered in poker chips and cards. I had some good ones I made: I was creative as fuck when I was 9-11 especially, and I had to be, because I was already around 5′7 and people assumed I was just some weirdo dressing up to get candy (Hearing ‘AREN’T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING’ at eleven CRUSHED me XD)
Favorite 90s tv show: 
Okay. So there’s one’s I watched actually as a child of the 90s, and ones that were just always ON in the 90s that I ended up watching. It’s debatable whether these are actually good NOW. XD
That being said, the background ones were Saved By the Bell (ZACH MORRIS IS TRAAAAassssh~~), Boy Meets World, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond.
As a kid, I loved the Aladdin Animated Series, The Hercules Animated Series, CHIP AND DALE RESCUE RANGERS (Which didn’t really hold up sadly but still has the best theme song of all time, fight me), and Timon and Pumbaa.
One I rarely caught but really liked was All That, The Wonder Years, Sabrina the Teenage Witch- occasionally Fresh Prince.
Out of all of these, I still have a super fond spot for Saved By the Bell, especially with the ‘Zach Morris is Trash’ series on Youtube (Seriously, go watch it. It’s fucking hilarious and basically breaks down how much of a serial killer in the making Zach Morris is XD). The clothing is ridiculous and no one really dressed like that in the early 90s outside of commercials and TV (unfortunately). Maybe one shoddy item out of the bunch. Meanwhile Saved by the Bell is like LETS PUT IT ALL ON. XD It was terrible once they got to college, but it was stupid and fun and made me feel ‘cool’ watching it because I was like three and being like, “YEAH, IT’S BRIGHT AND THESE PEOPLE ARE COOL AND I CAN FOLLOW THE PLOT. I’M MATURE.” XD It’s literally still the only one of these I actively watch now in the form of Zach Morris is Trash, so I’ll go with it. xD
Last kiss: Never had a consensual kiss. Make of that what you will. xD
Have you ever been stood up: Nope.
Favourite pair of shoes: 
I have terrible plantar fasciitis from sports, so I’m a shoe snob, and have to have properly fitting/constructed shoes. It depends on what I’m doing in them, really. I got a pair of trail running shoes for trail running during COVID, but they’re not the most aesthetically pleasing. I’d say the best mixture between comfort and style are either a good ol’pair of black ankle boots with a slight heel (so I can be 6′2 and intimidate people with my height muhahahaha), or more practically on a day to day basis, I have a pair of Reeboks that are 90s-styled with pastel pink and blue triangles on the side. They’re pretty dope. xD
have you ever been to vegas: No, but my parents have. Basically, they said you tire of shopping after two days, and then you’re just stuck inside hotels and shopping malls there. If you’re not a gambler, drinker, or have a ton of money to splash out on stage shows, I don’t think it’s particularly worth going.
favorite fruit: Mango or raspberry, but they’re super-expensive in the land of Maple Syrup so I usually don’t get them any other way other than frozen in smoothies.
Favourite book:
 I could never choose a favourite book. It’s literally like choosing between children. It’s my microcosmic version of Sophie’s Choice. xD Tasteless joke aside, it’d honestly depend on the occasion. There’s a huge difference between entertainment reading, literary exploits, and educating yourself through books as a whole. 
My ‘plane’ book (which I’m terrible at flying, so that was a joke), as in, an easy, fun, instantly rereadable read to read on the plane when I used to have super long fifteen hour flights to Australia, was always Mario Puzo’s ‘The Godfather,’ because I also had a huge crush on Michael Corleone. 
But it’s also not the ‘best’ book and literally spends an inordinate and honestly disturbing amount of time on the fact that this poor woman in the story (which thankfully in the film, it gets cut down), but the bridesmaid Sonny Corleone has sex with, and how you see his wife indicating his ‘size’?
THAT’S LITERALLY AN ENTIRE SUBPLOT OF THIS BROAD’S STORY I SHIT YOU NOT BECAUSE NOTHING IS ‘BIG’ ENOUGH FOR HER AFTER HIM AND THEN YOU FIND OUT SHE HAS A MEDICAL CONDITION AND GOOD FOR HER SHE’S ABLE TO FIND LOVE AGAIN BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MARIO PUZO XD IT WAS A LOT OKAY.
(Footnote: I also suffered through his horrific sequels because I love Michael Corleone and will take him in any form he comes in, even horrifically written Sicilian backhill exploits that were never told to us in the original book and were clearly just written because Puzo needed another pay check but I digress.)
Horrific subplots aside, I really enjoy The Godfather for its sheer pulpiness. The book is essentially what Andrew Lloyd Weber is to musicals. xD (Yes, I come with musical theatre burns. Fight me.)
In terms of a piece of literature that I think is amazingly well done? Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, or Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.
Stupidest thing you ever done: 
Um, maybe when I was at Cambridge I tried to dye my roots to match the rest of my ‘blonde’ hair at the time, and it turned out bright orange? And because it’s Cambridge, they had this super-strict attendance policy, so I was literally trying not to hyperventilate because it was running close to class (which was across campus) and I was trying to find some way to remedy my hair without it falling out/ someone asking about it. So, I grabbed a toque-cap-thing despite it being literally one of the hottest summer on record in the UK (It was like 35 degrees, it was MENTAL), and had to sprint to class all the way on the other side of campus from my college dodging dodgy tourist groups blocking the sidewalk while I went. Then when I sat down inside, I had to be weirdly rude and wear my hat inside the lecture hall even though the professor was looking at me (it was a specialised program in German Literature) like, “Are you going to take that shit off?” xD THEN I tried to dye it back to brown, and it literally looked like mud mixed with a runny egg had exploded on the top of my head; it was AWFUL. XD So FINALLY I did my research and found a salon, but by THAT point I had done 250 pounds worth of damage to my hair (WHICH IS LIKE 400 DOLLARS CANADIAN AT THE TIME), and I almost had a heart attack and thanked my lucky stars that I had money put away so I could give my parents the ‘parent price’ when they asked why they hadn’t seen me on FaceTime or Skype for like, three weeks, and I replaced my face with a photo of John Cleese from Fawlty Towers, which they tease me about to this day. xD
The other dumbest thing I ever said was when I was so desperate for friends in grade six when I moved to a new school (and because being American was ‘cool’ at the time, apparently), I told everyone I was a dual citizen because my mother LITERALLY GAVE BIRTH TO ME ON THE BORDER CROSSING WHAT. XD And bless this poor bespectacled girl named Mara (who was actually a little class friend of mine), who just said timidly in the back, “That’s not how citizenship works.” xD It basically came out of attempting to be cool and failing, but I’m still SO embarrassed about THAT one that I’d never admit it to ANYONE besides shouting it out into the Tumblr black hole. xD I’m still embarrassed to THIS DAY.
All time favorite shows: 
 I’ll go for the original run of The Twilight Zone, which has some schmaltzy episodes (I’m really not a fan of any of the episodes entirely dedicated to the Space Race or the weird cowboy fanaticism of the fifties/ sixties, or anything that’s overtly like “ALIENS DID IT SO THERE”), but I LOVE their psychological horror episodes or Dystopian episodes. It’s when Rod Serling’s writing and narrative voice is the strongest and most prophetic, and the twists are usually the best. Other shows have tries to imitate it, or reboot it, but I really think the original, due to Rod Serling’s unmatchable voice, in every sense of the word. There’s lists of some of the greatest episodes, but I remember LOVING the episode ‘A Stop at Willoughby.’ The twist literally made me clap my hands in horror and delight, it was amazing. xD
Other than that? Off the top of my head, Mad Men and Band of Brothers, even though I haven’t rewatched either in ages.
last movie you saw in theaters: 
Oh God, before all THIS hit? Probably Rise of Skywalker. I get agoraphobic and itchy if a movie theatre is too busy, and we only have really pokey sort of ones nearby that you’re guaranteed to see someone you went to high school with (terrible), so now that I can properly drive I go out to the big redneck theatre out in the boonies. I miss living in Montreal though, because when you live in a big city like that downtown (and can actually afford to live there), you could see blockbuster movies at like ten in the morning. xD Which would be AMAZING because I’d go to see any of the early Avengers/Marvel movies when they opened, the day of opening, and it was literally me, one old man who fell asleep halfway through and sat near the back, and maybe an elderly couple on a morning date to the movies. xD I get really annoyed with obnoxious movie-goers, and I’m really picky about just being completely absorbed in the movie, so I tend not to go unless I’m guaranteed that space. 
tagging: Anyone who wishes to tag me back so I can learn about them <3
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soylaprincessa · 5 years
Text
ANCHOR DOWN (Pedro Pascal x OC) Chapter Two
With all these Pedro pictures getting ready to go on stage my mind is running wild with ideas for this story! Hnnghhhhnnnn!!!
Here you go...
Chapter One Masterlist
C H A P T E R   T W O
Warnings: swearing
After nine hours full of hard work and another nerve-racking conversation with Grace concerning her work moral, Katie finally found herself in the bar just around the corner with Melissa. She sighed in relief when the bartender placed her favourite drink in front of her- Moscow Mule. Melissa was sticking with Champagne.
They were chatting away animatedly and Katie was able to tell Melissa all about her holiday and how good it felt to be away from everything- the old flat, the coffee shop around the corner where Aidan and her used to have breakfast, theit favourite movie theater... Melissa herself was in a stable relationship and craved for her boyfriend to eventually propose to her, so she was only a partly good companion when it came to bitching about men.
After two drinks, the bar gradually became more crowded and at some point Katie spotted Grace, who she assumed needed to have a couple of drinks as well. She wasn’t alone, though, she entered the bar accompanied by some other young girls from the theatre Katie wasn’t too fond of either. What nearly made her drop her drink to the floor was Pedro Pascal coming in, all smiley and flirtatious like he had been before. He obviously liked being in the company of so many pretty women and Katie couldn’t despise him more.
“Katie,” Melissa’s warning voice managed to soften up the frown on her face, “give him a chance. I heard he’s really nice!”
Katie turned to Melissa and chuckled, “y’know, I bet he’s just like any other guy. Careless and narcissistic.”
Sometimes Katie wondered if her ex-boyfriend had brainwashed her so much she would now hate any male individual on this planet. But then again, men were bastards. It would take a lot to convince her otherwise. The only two men Katie adored would always be her dad and granddad, who were genuinely good persons full stop.
Katie tried her best not to look over at the group too often, but somehow she had to. Her head was magically being turned into their direction. At one point, probably because she had been staring right at him with a furious facial expression, Pedro’s eyes met hers. He smiled at her.
Quickly and embarrassed, Katie looked away, feeling her face burn up instantly. A cold shudder ran down her spine and the goosebumps covering her skin seemed to be very persistent.
“Are you ok?” Melissa inquired when she noticed a change in Katie’s behaviour.
“Yeah, I’m good. I need the loo.”
Not deigning to look at Pedro once more, Katie disappeared in the ladies’ bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, she washed her hands and studied her face. She thought she looked alright, but weirdly enough her hands were shaking. Katie blamed in on the alcohol- during her vacation she’d developed what others might call a habit- killing a bottle of red wine each night until the pain was gone.
Now, after two drinks, Katie felt she’d had enough, though. Tipsily, she returned to the main room and nearly bumped into someone, who she sooner than later identified as Pedro.
“Hi again,” he smirked, and Katie swore she could’ve hit him with her handbag for being so fucking charming.
“Hi,” she grumbled, avoiding to look him in the eye. Where was her professionality when she needed it the most? Katie cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders to look more imposing.
“Why don’t you come over and have a drink with us? To forget this morning’s dissension?” The cheeky smile on his lips was all Katie needed to turn him down and prove to her he wasn’t being sincere.
“No, thank you. We don’t want to be a part of your harem.” Katie replied, feeling incredible for being so quick-witted.
“I have the feeling you like to judge people,” Pedro crossed his arms in front of his chest and rose one eyebrow.
“Look, we work together, we don’t have to buddy up. So how about each of us simply returns to their friends?” Katie rose her hands in defence, intending to avoid starting a discussion.
“Fine,” Pedro sighed, “you have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.” His hand was quick to brush her shoulder as he turned away. Katie needed a second or two to process what had just happened. She snapped back to the moment and sat back down opposite of Melissa.
“What did he want?” She instantly blurted out through the music.
Katie took a big sip of her drink, “he invited us over for a drink.”
“And you denied because…?”
“Because he’s a dickhead who treats women disrespectful!”
“You don’t know that! Leave him be!”
Somehow, Katie couldn’t. At the same time as feeling a deep repulsion towards Pedro, she was also intrigued. That was why she caught herself looking over at time several times during their stay at the bar, and she would’ve guessed that in 90% her eyes were lingering on her as well.
But that might’ve been the alcohol.
The bloody fucking alcohol that once more made Katie’s head spin and guts turn when she was laying in bed an hour later. She cursed her weak mind for drinking so much on a week night, already knowing what she would feel- and look- like the next morning. Melissa had showed her some random Instagram pictures of Pedro to convince her that he was actually a nice person, so Katie spent the time waiting for the walls to stop spinning with scrolling through his feed. Her drunken brain didn’t absorb any analyse it all very well, but at first glance he seemed a very open-minded, social guy with a healthy self-confidence and even a similar opinions about politics and feminism as herself. Katie decided to give him a chance after all. Maybe she had him wrong. Maybe Melissa was right. Katie promised herself to be her most unbiased, friendly self when she met him at work the next day. Good plan.
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thorinkingoferebor · 5 years
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24 hours later: i'm still outraged as ever & i've found a couple of new things to be outraged about that i somehow just missed yesterday. which is understandable. hard to keep track of all the fuck ups!
what was the point of euron fighting jaime? also how did they even end up together? that was another case of characters just conveniently appearing at the right time at the right location (which is like euron’s mine character trait at this point: randomly showing up without any real reason just to fuck shit up in the most annoying way possible). Also: why didn't Jaime just go for this route the first time around?! he might have even made it in time. why is euron so obsessed with killing jaime? why is euron in general? what's his point? was he ever meant to be anything but a cheap plot device? everyone deserved better than this
the fact that the unsullied officers just left tyrion with jaime no questions asked is probably the dumbest moment of the entire episode. dany has often and loudly questions tyrion's loyalty but nothing suspicious about tyrion (THE HAND OF THE QUEEN) wanting to stand guard outside the tent and sending everyone else away. like what's he gonna do? free the person he clearly loves most in the world with a key that just magically appeared in his hand while davos somehow sneaks past the entire greyjoy fleet to leave a boat at the foot of the red keep? naaah (how did davos get back from there btw? did he tow another boat? was he not alone? why am i even trying to make sense of this we all know this plot was written on a piece of toilet paper)
and what's with dany never learning of jaime's escape?! someone must have checked on such a high profile prisoner in the morning? someone must have noticed and told dany who just hours ago threatened tyrion with death should he ever betray her. why did noone come up with the idea to use jaime as a hostage??? but guess everyone just forgot about him, just like the writers forgot about his arc :))))))))))))))))))
where did all the dothraki come from? why are there still so many unsullied left? it sure looked like 90% of them died in winterfell. then we see a significant number in episode five and in the trailer for episode 6 it looks like thousands??? do they just respawn? are we following video game logic now? (btw remember when soldiers had actual personalities? when was the last time an unsullied beside grey worm or a dothraki did anything to remind us they're more than npcs. what do they think about all of this? what did they think about the army of the dead? how are they coping? why was everyone suddenly ok with senseless violence against children even though dany has been saying for years she doesn't want that. yeah sure, she started the kings landing BBQ but she was in a completely different part of the city. there was no way for the foot soldier to know that she was indeed butchering civilians and not just wiping out the last remainders of the lannister forces that hadn't put down their weapons. i’m glad though that they all apparently learned to communicate with each other telepathically otherwise they would be as freaking lost as me rn
one thing the books and previous seasons have been really good at is small little world-building elements that pay off later. and they could have used that in season 8! there wasn't any need to introduce new stuff they could have just used what's already there. they did well on that account with lyanna, jorah and theon. Theon probably had the best arc this season tbh (not a tough competition but it's something) and died a stark and a greyjoy. His identity was the major theme of his journey and seeing it played out this way was satisfying! Lyanna and Jorah both embodied "Here We Stand" in their final moments (Jorah quite literally) and that was wonderful! Why couldn't we get something like this for the Lannisters? Why couldn't we get one final, brilliant scene with cersei trying to turn the tide (backup plan? never heard of it). Don't get me wrong, Lena's acting was fantastic but why couldn't we get a "Hear me roar" moment? Her arc was tide to house Lannister more than any other and yet we didn't get anything? Why didn't we get any rewarding rains of castamere parallels? if they're set on wiping house lannister off the map why not show the tragedy and irony of it. why not remind of us tywin's fantastic speech in season 2? they could have used any of those themes but they didn't???
i'm still not even ready to begin to vocalize my opinions regarding jaime. every time i think about it i can feel my life drain out of me. what a fucking waste you guys
what i can vocalize now however is how much i do hate cersei's end and how they treated lena. I cannot get over that. like i realize she is a villain and i realize she is not meant to be a sympathetic character and she never had a chance to get redemption or get out alive but the show treated her like dirt in the end and just like jaime she was eventually reduced to the incest plotline. she started this show out as someone completely at the mercy of the men in her life (her father, her husband) and while jaime was a big part of her arc her main objective was always throwing off that control and taking it herself. sure she overdid it massively and became power hungry but that power hunger is a direct result of the way she was brought up and everything she was forced into/everything she was denied. weirdly, her conflicts are very similar to brienne's. both women didn't want the roles their peers tried to force them into, both women wanted to escape and both women assumed to do so they would have to take on male traits. brienne did that by rejecting her womanhood completely for 7 seasons and aspiring to be a knight. cersei took a very different route. maybe because she had that option (brienne couldn't mould herself into a proper lady unlike her) or maybe because that was literally her only option (imagine tywin's reaction to cersei putting on armour...). in the years that follow cersei and brienne obviously take very different paths and they have very different personalities but just as brienne deserved her knighthood and the affections and acceptance of the man she loves, cersei would have deserved to be free of men trying to decide her fate for her. but she never was. first it was her father, then robert, then her father again, then the high sparrow and when she finally wiped them all out she had to let another man she despised into her bed to maintain power. brienne managed to escape the confines of male-dominated society forced on her, cersei never did. they could have either shown her finally free before her death, free of the men that tried to control her all her life, free of the power hunger, free of societies expectations or they could have had her face her ugly deeds. i doubt she would have ever regretted any of it but it would have been so much more satisfying to see her properly outsmarted, to see her face off either dany or sansa or jon (or even tyrion or jaime had his character arc not been ruined before that). she was a fantastic, complex villain until she basically just started to stare off into the distance. it would have been so satisfying to see her face reality before the end. Instead, we got rocks. but even that scene (as beautifully as it's acted) isn't satisfying. cersei, who has never been one to just weep helplessly, is first reduced to begging jaime for her life & to save their child (AGAIN WHAT WAS THE POINT! I WILL NEVER GET IT!) and then she keeps freaking out because she doesn't want to die at all and certainly not this way (very self-centred as always whereas jaime is much calmer and at peace with what's about to happen and ready to take care of her even though he’s worse off) . i don't know if this was intentional or just a happy accident but even in those final scenes it's very obvious that the love cersei has for jaime is not the same kind of love jaime has for her. i guess they both ended up wanting to die in each others arms seconds before it happened so there’s that. but it’s a cheap ending for the best actress in the show before they robbed her of all opportunities to shine
oh and lena's instagram combined with her body double’s yet unseen work on the show has now convinced me that we're incredibly likely to see cersei's and jaime's mutilated bodies/heads next week. can't wait to see their characters disrespected on a whole new level jfc i’m so tired
i can't even think about brienne these days. absolutely seething. at this point i would prefer it if the brienne/jaime romance had never happened in ep. 4. if they'd stuck to glances and meaningful gestures at least it would have made more sense. brienne would have been his "what if" when they erased jaime's character development and made him return to cersei (which i maintain could have made sense because no matter what jaime will always love his family no matter how much he also hates them IF ONLY THEY HAD PUT IN THE FUCKING WORK). but she's not a "what if" now is she. she is his "this happened and it was good and important" but we're just going to forget this. we're just going to forget that the last 8 seasons have been leading up to this point. we're gonna forget that for the entire first half of season 8 jaime didn't even flinch at the thought of cersei dying. four episodes of jaime glued to brienne's side and then we're just expected to believe he doesn't care after all. then we're just supposed to believe she is never mentioned again and no thought of her crosses his mind or anyone else's for that matter (looking at you tyrion). I genuinely don't get what the point of that romance was then. to keep jaime in winterfell for a bit longer so him getting captured would make more sense? i feel like there were like a million ways to get the same outcome without throwing brienne under the bus. brienne and her entire arc were used as a cheap plot device for jaime and it wasn't even worth it cause they then butchered jaime's arc. god i'm so angry.
remember the last time a tv show fucked up in the last episode? yeah, dexter!  i'm calling it now: got will end exactly like dexter in terms of plot and level of satisfaction. jon will kill dany (a family member/romantic interest) and then go north to spend his day in the wilderness (lumberjacking away miserably)
the more i think about it there is not a single thing about this episode that actually makes sense. this goes beyond plotholes, this is just a plain hole
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honeylikewords · 5 years
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you got on edge over the trailer too? thank god! ngl i know it sounds dumb but watching frank kiss that woman whoever she is has me oddly anxious. just my brain screaming “this isn’t right!!” what’re your feelings on it if you don’t mind me piquing your brain?
No, no, you don’t sound dumb!
I got put on edge because I feel like giving Frank a romantic partner would be, like, a huge step backward for his character, in a weird way. I know I write about Frank on here (or, well, wrote, more aptly, since I’m on a hiatus from writing anything romantic about him for a hot second), but that’s purely removed from the canonicity. I don’t think it’d be good for Frank to have a partner at this stage of his life, possibly ever. More on that later.
As it stands now, there are a few paths that kissing scene could go down:
1) It’s Maria, either in a memory/flashback sequence or a dream/fantasy sequence. Either Frank is remembering Maria and the way they were together, or wishing he could be with her again. That’s fine with me and I think it’d be sweet to see more of him and his wife and their story.
2) It’s a random hookup. Frank has randomly hooked up with women in the comics (mostly 90s era to early 2000s comics, if I recall correctly), but it’s not a good thing. I think every person who has written him doing that has a fundamental misunderstanding of the kind of person Frank is. Usually, such hookups are predicated on emotionless sex, which is NOT like Frank, and he regrets them, leaving soon after. It’s also usually written by men who assume that it’s “masculine nature” to “need” to have sex, so it’s the idea he “has” to have sex with someone, as if it’s a real biological “need” a la eating, drinking, sleeping, et cetera. Which is stupid. And inaccurate. And not Frank.
3) It’s a new girlfriend. Which is REALLY bad, because there’s NO WAY FRANK SHOULD BE DATING. Frank Castle is a very sick, very unstable man, whose heart and soul belong to his wife, hard as that may be to swallow. Much as I’d like to see him grow and heal, I think an important aspect of his character is his undying loyalty to his wife, and I feel like she was his one and only. Giving him a girlfriend or “partner” or whatever is not gonna mesh well with the Frank we know, who is driven by his love for his family. 
Look, I want Frank to grow. I want him to heal. But he’s never, ever going to be whole again, and certainly never healed enough to actually be with someone in a healthy long term relationship again, much less start a family. Frank Castle is traumatized inexorably, and as much, much, much as I wish he could move on, he will never. In my dreams, he can, but in canon? That man is going to be haunted for the rest of his life. There’s no getting around that.
And I think giving him a partner would just reflect so poorly. We’ve only known Frank for DD S2 and one season of Punisher, and during all that time, he’s been in love with Maria. Always Maria. So to try and give us a new woman now would be like trying to put a square peg in a round hole, you know? 
I think that if there was EVER going to be a relationship for Frank in the canon of the show, it would have to take a long time. He’d have to know that person for years and years and years. And the timeline of the show as it stands does not accommodate that kind of time to build intimacy. As far as I can recall, the timeline from DD S2 to currently has been, what, two years? Two to three years? That’s NOT enough time for him to move on.
He’s going to need a lifetime to ever move on enough from her, in my mind, if he was ever going to. And I don’t know if he can.
So, TL;DR: I don’t want to see Frank having hookup sex because Frank is not a hookup sex guy. I don’t want to see Frank with a new girlfriend because that would not be good for either party. If the scene turns out to be something similar to the kiss between him and Sarah Liebermann (a misunderstanding or he’s trying to get information), whatever, fine, I guess. If it turns out to be a flashback, reminiscence, or dream of Maria, 10/10, love that stuff, very happy to see it.
At the end of the day, I love Frank and Maria together and I don’t feel comfortable seeing him with someone else (as far as canon goes). I feel like seeing him with another woman would be disrespectful to the trauma he’s endured, to his loyalty to his wife, and to Maria herself. 
I dunno, maybe I’m just the most hard-assed monogamist in the world.
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lightsandlostbells · 5 years
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Skam NL episodes 4 and 5 reaction
This is incredibly late but there was no way I was not going to write about Engel’s detour into waxing hell.
Episode 4
Clip 1 - Piesiepoepselaar
Isa and Kes are lying together in the morning and it’s very serene. He’s had the same nightmare as Jonas did in the original, though I think the context is different … russ is like a thing that Jonas objects to on principle, would Kes be against just taking a city trip?
He’s like, “You took off your shirt and made out with everyone, boys and girls.” Lmao, I don’t think Isa is going to get that wild in Tallinn.
Isa replies that she’ll only take off her shirt for Kes. So this isn’t really a hint of an actual problem or any condescension on his part, they’ve re-purposed this exchange into some purely flirty interaction.
This cute moment is interrupted by Isa’s mom unexpectedly popping in. She calls her daughter “pissing pooper”? Hands down the best/worst nickname I have heard a parent call their child. And of course Kes loves it.
Clip 2 - Orgy preparation
Isa gets a call from “Pap” soooo her dad is still kind of in the picture?
Engel bounds up to Isa, she looks very happy to see her. And when Janna and Imaan come up, she also looks happy to see them. Engel is so cute.
Except LMAO, GOD. She addresses Imaan with “Salaam-Alaikum,” and seems a little proud of herself, as if she Googled “how to speak Muslim” over the weekend. So I guess instead of being an outright exclusionary racist, she’s going to be like … a well-intentioned white ally who goes too far and ends up othering her Muslim friend by not treating her the same as the non-Muslims? That’s a pretty interesting take. It certainly puts Engel in a better light than Vilde, since she is trying to be inclusive rather than rejecting Imaan, but it also explores Imaan’s struggle with having to deal with people treating her differently than her peers, or changing their behavior toward her since she’s a Muslim.
Imaan is just like “.... Hi.” I feel like at some point she’s going be like, “Look, you can just treat me like you’d treat anyone else.”
Janna starts coughing, and at first I thought she was trying to salvage the awkward moment, but she’s actually gesturing for Engel to look over yonder because GUESS WHAT, a certain dude is climbing the stairs.
Dutch William has a very long coat and seems more like an artsy edgy hipster kid, maybe, than a regular king-of-the-school fuckboy. His head is down so we don’t get a full view of his face, it’s like he’s ~mysterious and gives no fucks.
That blond dude from the party, Gijs, is part of Dutch William’s (Noah’s) crew, of course, and nods in recognition to Isa. They’re like, HOLY SHIT, Isa, what happened there?
Apparently one of them (Gijs or Noah) the wildest parties, with orgies. And not some weak-ass orgies where people sit in the hot tub together. Full-on power orgies with naked bodies. Janna sure knows her orgy classifications.
Engel’s facial expressions when Janna mentions orgies, lmao. This little frown.
The girls are like, “There’s a party this Friday,” and Isa’s like “...OK?” Imaan has to explain that Janna and Engel want Isa to flirt with the guy so they can get in to the party. She takes Isa’s phone and does her thing. Well, that’s interesting because Imaan doesn’t seem so invested personally in going to the party? I mean, there’s no real benefit to their city trip. Is she doing it because Janna and Engel want to? Like she wants to be in with these girls and have friends?
Janna is amused and laughs at Imaan’s liking all of Gijs’ pics. Engel just seems stunned. A Muslim did that???? Maybe she had Imaan all wrong. Maybe she needs to consult Google again.
Clip 3 - BUY YOUR OWN GODDAMN FRIES
Isa, Kes, and Lucas go out for food. Isa is the only one to order fries, and when she asks if they want fries, they’re like nahhhh. IMMEDIATELY my bullshit detector went off. They’re going to steal her fucking fries, aren’t they?
At one point the word “EVEN” is visible through the window, heh.
Lucas has injured his left hand, which I am assuming is a thing the actor did IRL and they had to explain it into the story. Kes roasts Lucas about his injury (which happened while skateboarding) and Lucas is like, “At least I take risks.” Yeah, some of those risks will apparently involve fucking up your friends’ relationship?
Kes asks Isa if they’re going to hang out at her place, I am assuming just the two of them, while Lucas gives Kes a long look. Actually, those are some high-quality Looks that Lucas has been serving to Kes. Make sure this show gets to season 3, okay? So he can put his pining face to good use.
Kes says the whole thing about Isa’s mom not knowing about him, and that Isa is ashamed of him, and Lucas is like, well, she’s right!
But of course Gijs is now sending her messages about Isa’s IG stalking. Just as Kes is offering to cook for her and her mom. Isa, let him cook for you! That’s more proactive than any Jonas has offered yet, right?
Gijs is turned on by Isa stalking him. You know, I’ve never just how many kinks the P-Chrises have, like he’s into nerds, being stalked, pretending to be the Eva’s dad/mom/whatever ... he’s just up for anything.
Lucas mentions that Isa has too many new friends, maybe even a new boyfriend, and THAT is some snake-ass shit, planting that seed out there. Even if he’s just talking shit and kidding. He doesn’t know he’ll be kinda right, but man, will Kes remember that when shit hits the fan? Kes seemed so indifferent though, like he’s all “lady friends” and not taking it seriously. 
I WAS FUCKING RIGHT, THEY STEAL HER GODDAMN FRIES. Taking advantage of her distraction while messaging Gijs. 
This is the realest shit though, like nothing Jonas and Isak said about Eva’s involvement in russ compared to this disrespect. Teenage boys are the WORST.
But yeah, there’s not nearly as much putting down of Isa’s friends or activities (since who is gonna be like “it’s so CAPITALISTIC that you want to take a fun trip to a city”?) apart from some passive-aggressiveness about Kes not meeting Isa’s mom and Isa being too popular. Still, it feels less mean, and Isa didn’t seem as attacked. 
Clip 4 - The most important conversation I’ve ever heard
The title of this clip was “full bush baby” and I was like … is that really going to refer to what I think it is? Like either we are talking about a small primate, or someone’s private hedge maze.
I love Janna looking like a hot mess in every scene. Like she literally rolled out of her bed, which is an ostrich nest, and went to school. She’s telling a story about opening a beer in class while Engel looks bothered about something in the background.
OH MY GOD, Engel looks troubled not because of any angsty Noah pining or Imaan drama or any of what you’d expect, but because she shaved her pubic hair and it itches. WE STAN.
…. Is this taking the place of the birth control conversation??? Instead of Engel asking about birth control, she wants the girls to tell her how they remove their pubic hair? 
I am not remotely surprised that Janna is a full bush baby.
Imaan saying she dyes hers red, white, and blue = MY LOVE.
Engel takes that completely seriously judging by her confused little face. Engel’s life is 90% confusion.
Janna says if she waxes, she can wax a lightning bolt. Please be a Harry Potter reference. (You know, I’m sure wizards have hair removal spells and all, but I’m imagining someone being like ACCIO PUBES and ripping out everything at once.)
Engel is nervous about waxing. Oh my God, instead of the nurse, are they going to go for a bikini wax together?????
Isa gets a text. Turns out they’re going to the party! Engel gets excited and starts throwing out outfit possibilities.S he rambles a bit and then Imaan does the “shhh, you talk too much” moment. 
Now it feels a little out of place, because Engel, while not behaving perfectly, has been way less of an ass to Imaan? And I get that this is for Engel’s own preservation, sort of, but they’re not trying to gain social capital at the level that Vilde and Sana were. The OG girl squad wanted to attract cool people to their bus and hook up with popular boys; NL girl squad isn’t concerned with getting cool people on their trip, and while they want to go to parties, they don’t have this firm objective of hooking up with the popular dudes. So the moment seemed a bit out of nowhere. I mean, Engel rambling about her outfits is tedious, but harmless.
Imaan has some gorgeous lashes, by the way.
Clip 5 - This is a very serious show
Oh my God, they DID go for a bikini wax. So is the state of Engel’s pubic hair going to be a plot point? Does she want it to look groomed for him? 
Okay, I’m laughing that Norwegian-style bush is a heart (ALT ER LOVE), French pubes are a mustache, and Dutch hedges are … flames? A flower? A flower for the ladygarden.
THE GRAVE IMPORTANCE OF THIS SCENE. The music and the cherub mural really add to the atmosphere.
Janna talks about an ass wax because of course she does.
I love that you hear a scream from the other room. Perfect.
I laughed out loud that Engel just shakes her head and runs. And that Imaan puts her arms around the girls and eggs them on.
I like Skam to have a plot and all but I would thoroughly enjoy 10 episodes of just random calamities in pubic hair removal.
Clip 6 - Orgy time
OH DAMN, I LOVE
This is my favorite episode 4 (or equivalent) power walk other than the original. I LOVE it. The song choice! The girls look like they’re having a blast. Engel jumping on Liv’s back!!! Imaan yelling in sync with the rooster crying!!! 
ESPECIALLY with the juxtaposition of this badass power walk, the girls getting hyped and feeling cool on the way to the party - because yeahhhh!!!! Young and free, bitches!!!!! - with the pause where they’re actually standing in front of the door, debating over who has to ring the bell. That’s utterly beautiful, I love it. Expectations vs. reality right there. 
Liv being like “It’s open,” lol.
Engel knows Olivia and company, I don’t think they said how?? Because we knew how Vilde knew Ingrid. But I mean, they go to school together, soooo. (Or did Engel get kicked off a city trip group?)
Janna, you promised an orgy, and this is a bunch of teenagers drinking and dancing in a basement. The clothes are most definitely on.
I was spoiled for Janna’s making out with a girl, but I still got hella excited when she and this girl were sticking out their tongues at each other.
Lmao, is Engel rambling about her car malfunctions to Noah? Maybe Imaan was right to shush her.
Also, Engel’s dad is in the picture. Or was, at a certain point.
Okay I don’t know if maybe this is fashionable for Dutch kids, but I love that Noah is wearing this baggy old man shirt. 
And that his kiss with Engel is a little awkward.
Who is this kid. Why is he like this.
Lmao, Liv telling Isa to talk to Gijs about Tallinn so he’ll leave. Does not bode well for their city trip if that’s what she thinks?
WHOOPS, Isa forgot that dinner with Kes was supposed to happen.
Gijs does not know Tallinn is a city, so he’s like, “Who’s Tallinn?” lmao.
JANNA AND THAT GIRL GOING TO TOWN, YESSSSSSSS
So in terms of Skam remake wlw content, I believe we have:
Skam France: Alexia is bi. Of course I appreciate this but they haven’t really spotlighted it outside of like one or two comments, and they don’t really integrate her sexuality into the story or into the dialogue even when it would be relevant (which is a big problem with Skam France as a whole). It’s canon by the actress’ Word of God.
Druck: Mia is bi. In canon she “doesn’t like labels” and is shown to make out with Hanna, though that was for telling off Alexander. Bi by word of God.
Skam Austin: Shay takes Isak’s place in the story, having a crush on Megan which is her character’s motivation. This is the biggest wlw content, clearly, since Shay will hopefully get her own season. The character is a lesbian and her sexuality plays a role in the story, plus I’m pretty sure the actress is a lesbian herself (and is a black lesbian so we have intersectional diversity).
Skam NL: Janna makes out with a girl at a party. HOPEFULLY she isn’t straight and this isn’t just a drunken makeout because girls kissing at a party is hot. I hooooope.
Hmmm, you know what? I actually buy Imaan’s throwing water at Olivia a lot more, because Engel has at least tried to be nice to Imaan. Like I understand that Sana is fiercely loyal and once she’s on your team, she’s with you 110%, so once she’s with the girl squad, she’s ride or die. But assuming Imaan was throwing water at Olivia because Olivia called Engel a slut, I get why. Engel has been awkward and othered Imaan but she’s tried to be nice. (But for Engel, you know she’s going to be like WTF?)
I love this closing song as they run away into the night!
Is it wrong that I kind of like Noah so far? Because I get that he’s likely going to come with all of William’s bullshit, but ... he’s fucking weird, man. 
Episode 5
Clip 1 - Making a family party awkward
Kes’ sister is a cutie!
Oh, I love that we got a little glimpse of his family? His mom, and his grandparents.
This really changes the tone of this scene from the original, because Eva goes over and encounters Jonas when he’s just hanging out with his friends and being passive-aggressive, and it felt like having the boys there made Jonas ramp up his attitude. Kes appears to be relaxed, he’s having a good time with his family. I wonder if these are the actor’s real relatives? The boys look like they could be his brothers.
But Kes does get in a passive-aggressive comment about her friends, and he’s been ignoring her for a few days.
Also, Lucas isn’t part of this moment where they’re ganging up on Isa, when the Isak is typically snickering at what’s happening.
We cut inside where relatives are having a pleasant time while the Youths fight. We don’t hear their argument but I mean, we know what they’re talking about.
Kes is like, “I forgot about the dinner,” as if he’s not upset, which makes Isa storm out, and his family notices that she’s upset.
Isa is out on the street and she once again puts in her earbuds and listens to music to get out her feelings. I like that as a stress release/coping tactic/whatever you want to call it for her.
This is a Sigrid song, by the way! “Strangers,” a totally appropriate song for relationship dysfunction and dismantling the perfect movie romance. Really interesting with Isa’s somewhat romanticized view of love - sometimes you just know, that’s how it’s supposed to be, etc.
Is Kes going to run out after her?
Nope, he doesn’t run after her. Not like in the movies. Isa just does a walk down the street. She’s not happy but it seems like listening to music steadies her a bit and gives her an outlet for her emotions so that she’s not a total mess.
Clip 2 - Engel does not know how the pill works, sigh
The title of this clip was Het is Zover and there was a still of Liv so I was like … are we finally headed down this f/f romcom route? Het is Over? (I know, I know, it has an actual meaning in Dutch.) But it ended up referring to something heterosexual, lmao.
I like Isa’s little toucan key chain.
Isa is not in a good mood, Liv looks fondly at her girl and asks about Kes. Liv knows what’s up with 17-year-old boys.
Engel pops up and says it’s time for her and Noah to go to the bone zone. Isa is like, that was fast. So I guess they are going down this sex storyline; the wax was a fun bonus.
Engel being like “I know It’s Time because I DMed with Noah all weekend and he’s perfect” - God help us.
Engel asks for the pill like she’s asking for ibuprofen, and when she says eh, it’ll be nothing then, Liv is like nuh uh, you’re going to the doctor. Thank you, Liv.
Engel gets them to agree to go by offering a bottle of wine each. When Isa tells Liv that she (Liv) doesn’t even drink, Liv is like, two for you, right? WHOOOOOOA. True love right there.
I had the worst thought and wondered if Engel’s failure to get her pubes waxed is going to lead to Noah making a shit comment about them later, like when Engel confronts him. Because teenage boys think girls should be completely hairless, like porn stars or babies! 
Clip 3 - Isa can’t sleep
Isa is watching a video on her phone when she gets a notification about something her dad posted. It’s a little kid getting a swimming certificate, so I’m guessing that’s her dad’s new family.
Isa gets up to go sit on her mom’s bed. She asks for a foot rub, which her mom gives her, until her mom starts asking about Olivia and Tess. Then the feet come back up to Isa’s chest.
Her mom’s like, I’m just trying to show interest. Isa is probably thinking that’s more than her dad does. She extends a leg again.
Perhaps that’s why Isa opens up to her and tells her she has a boyfriend. When she tells her mom his name is Kes, her mom doesn’t comment on it being Olivia’s boyfriend’s name or anything, so maybe she didn’t know Kes and Olivia dated? 
Isa asks her mom whether she thought she and her dad would be together forever, and then when she change her mind. Isa’s mom says that sometimes things go differently from how you expected. I really like this scene. It goes in with Isa “just knowing” that you’re meant to be with someone, as mentioned in episode 2, and then this reality that crashes in on you. It’s awesome that they tied in these elements of Isa’s absent father and divorced/separated parents, Isa’s relationship with her mom who’s locked out of certain elements in her life, and Isa’s relationship with Kes to the overall idea of being with someone forever. I think Isa questioning the nature and longevity of love could end up being a really satisfying part of her arc. I can’t wait to see the final clip of the season; I hope they modify her speech to Kes so that it fits with all these moments and what she’s learned.
She gets back into bed and apologizes to Kes for being a bitch sometimes, because obviously she doesn’t want their relationship to end, and then stares at the ceiling with that one damn glow in the dark shooting star.
Clip 4 - Doctor visit
The girls go to the doctor with Engel. Liv and Imaan entertain themselves by playing with a model of a torso. Kes and Isa make up via text, he says he loves her even when she’s angry.
I love that Engel looks small in that big chair against the giant window, truly mimicking how overwhelmed she must be feeling.
Where’s Janna? I have to say that I look forward to her reactions on anything vagina-related. 
I guess she had to miss the fun because she had to make up for being late to German, but it’s really cool how Imaan volunteered to join them considering I think the Sanas usually sit this excursion out.
The doctor comes out and IT’S A MAN THIS TIME??? Oh fuck!
I mean I know plenty of women don’t have a problem with a male OB-GYN, but for a girl who’s perhaps afraid to get a bikini wax, I think she would be a little shy about talking about birth control with a dude.
This doc is handsome, not gonna lie. I can’t imagine if that would make it more or less awkward. I do think that it’s less awkward with your friends, so good call, Engel.
The doc is asking Engel some basic questions and Engel answers more confidently than I expected, so good for her. Imaan rats out Engel by saying she’s only known the guy for a week. Well, maybe it’s not the wisest choice, Imaan, but that means Engel should definitely be on birth control!
Liv also shares that Noah sleeps with the whole school, and the doc mentions that the pill only helps with pregnancy, not STDs. Bless him. I mean he’s just doing his job, but bless. This is a good message to include on the show.
OH MY GOD when that doc brought out the dildo for the condom demonstration. He was completely matter-of-fact and professional but geeeeez I would have found this to be the most embarrassing thing at 16.
Clip 5 - CONDOMS, ENGEL, CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS
The girls evaluate condom choices. Strawberry, banana, glow-in-the-dark. Don’t get the banana ones. I love real bananas but artificial banana flavor on anything is a gamble. 
I can’t tell, who said that king-sized wasn’t for Noah? Janna? I want to give her an award.
This clip was so short but I loved it! Just sweet and funny, wonderful girl squad dynamic, adorable.
As an aside, please watch the first 30 seconds of this scene and imagine it with Engel as Rose, Janna as Blanche, and Imaan as Dorothy.
Clip 6 - Engel’s softcore fashion fantasy
Janna has the right idea by blowing up a condom into an elephant trunk.
Janna doesn’t remember anything from her first time. That bit never stops being alarming, tbh.
Janna is also adamant that Noah needs to do his best and make sure Engel has an orgasm. Good job, Janna! That’s something I’ve always wondered with the Williams of the show: do they actually try to make the experience pleasurable for the Vildes? Because Vilde is like, “It was great!” but she’s also speaking from inexperience, and she might just be overcompensating, who knows? I mean, I don’t think she would actually tell the girls if it sucked.
Engel doesn’t know what an orgasm feels like, she doesn’t know how to get wet, she doesn’t want to get horny. Look, everyone should learn at their own pace, but my professional opinion is that this poor girl should take some time on her own before sleeping with a random dude she has known for a week. 
Who hasn’t even arrived on time to get laid. Oh God, please just blow her off completely? Don’t make us and Engel go through this again. Lesser of two evils.
Janna eats a banana. I just wanted to write that.
Liv is there to administer horny-making fantasies to Engel. Lmao, Isa had to get up off her chair and go sit on the bed next to Liv while Liv is talking dirty. I wonder why….
Ohhhh my God. This fantasy of Engel’s? WOW. It is really not “allowed” within the Skam format but honestly, fuck it, this is too weird not to appreciate. This is some ’90s music video realness, I expected 98 Degrees to walk out. Except it mostly focuses on Engel’s attire and makeup and hair, so maybe it’s more like a perfume ad?
Lmao, Engel getting turned on by herself more than Noah really stands out when you see the visual.
Janna tells the anecdote about getting turned on by donkeys, but it was supposedly just a whole other village that had the donkey kink rather than her. Bless her.
The girls need to get out because Kes is supposed to arrive, but of course, when Isa opens the front door, it’s Noah, come for his booty call. Isa’s mom is really cute in how she’s excited to see “Kes.”
Engel is? “Not my girlfriend.” Noah, you dumb fuck. Why do you need to clarify that shit to someone’s mom who you’re only going to know for like two seconds?
I mean, it’s foreshadowing as to Noah’s fuckboy ways, and that Engel will get her heart broken, but duuuuude quell your ass down.
Isa is like, nah mom, those girls tripping on the stairs and babbling weren’t drunk! Lol, sure.
When Isa calls Kes, it absolutely sounds like he was at a party with the level of background chatter. You hear Olivia’s voice clearly but they’re definitely surrounded by people.
Of course Kes is not coming, and Isa’s mom overhears enough on the phone conversation to realize. She tells her that they can eat, just the two of them. I really like Isa’s mom, she’s cute.
Great sad closing song.
General Comments/Social Media
Engel stuck Liv’s own song on their Tallinn playlist and Liv’s like, time to delete that! 
I love Janna naming the group chat weird stuff, and everyone acknowledging that group chat names are never normal.
This remake makes my heart so warm! The girl squad is so lovely and fun. I adored the pubic hair side plot, lmao, and the twists on the doctor visit and the condom retrieval. Little moments like that with the girls have made the dynamic so entertaining.
As for the boys, I think Lucas is a fantastic Isak. Kes has his typical Jonas S1 dickhead moments, but he’s also got charm, and God help me but I am enjoying Noah’s whatever-the-fuck-ness. Like I’m aware he’s going to be a creep, but currently I like taking the piss out of him and his wardrobe and attitude. 
As I mentioned previously, I think they’re doing some great moments with Isa’s character arc and tying in her family issues to her relationship issues, and having her talk about love or question love in the abstract. 
I am not Dutch, so feel free to correct me if I missed anything.
If you got this far, thank you for reading!
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feicomtazu · 2 years
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Microsoft word 2013 crashing windows 10 無料ダウンロード.Hotfix 2881044 for Word 2013 June 10, 2014 (Word-x-none.msp)
Microsoft word 2013 crashing windows 10 無料ダウンロード.windows 10 upgrade is crashing office 2013 - word/excel
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                                                                          Restart PC.Applicationは正しく起動できませんでした(0xC)エラー
    Mar 14,  · How to uninstall this updateWindows Go to Start, enter View Installed Updates in the Search Windows box, and then press Enter.. In the list of updates, locate and then select update KB, and then select Uninstall.. Windows 8 and Windows Swipe in from the right edge of the screen, and then tap you're using a mouse, point to the lower-right corner of the screen, Assume that you open a large xml file that contains many E2o Holders in Word When you save it as file, Word may crash. When you open a Word document in Word in compatible mode, the dates may incorrectly use the left-to-right (LTR) layout instead of the right-to-left (RTL) layout Feb 13,  · Microsoft Word が働きを止めました そのどれものどれもの場合は、次の記事から修正をダウンロードすることによって、Officeのインストールのすべてのトレースを削除することができます. Windows 10OSを使用しています.私はOfficeを数年間使用しています    
Microsoft word 2013 crashing windows 10 無料ダウンロード.windows 10 upgrade is crashing office - word/excel - Microsoft Community
Feb 13,  · Microsoft Word が働きを止めました そのどれものどれもの場合は、次の記事から修正をダウンロードすることによって、Officeのインストールのすべてのトレースを削除することができます. Windows 10OSを使用しています.私はOfficeを数年間使用しています Nov 20,  · This article describes update KB for Microsoft Office , which was released on December 8, This update also applies to Office Home and Student update has a prerequisite. Be aware that the update in Download Center applies to the Microsoft Installer .msi)-based edition of Office Aug 04,  · Microsoft Word may sometimes crash due to installed add-ins. If after restarting the PC, the app keeps crashing, then you can disable add-ins using the following steps: Step 1:         
 This can be caused by an improper permission set on the Office folder, which may happen in some upgrades. You can fix this with either of the following:.
You may also have a look at this thread and check if it helps. Threats include any threat of suicide, violence, or harm to another. Any content of an adult theme or inappropriate to a community web site.
Any image, link, or discussion of nudity. Any behavior that is insulting, rude, vulgar, desecrating, or showing disrespect. Any behavior that appears to violate End user license agreements, including providing product keys or links to pirated software. Unsolicited bulk mail or bulk advertising. Any link to or advocacy of virus, spyware, malware, or phishing sites. Any other inappropriate content or behavior as defined by the Terms of Use or Code of Conduct. Any image, link, or discussion related to child pornography, child nudity, or other child abuse or exploitation.
Details required : characters remaining Cancel Submit 18 people found this reply helpful. Was this reply helpful? Yes No. Sorry this didn't help. Thanks for your feedback. Tried both of the above suggestions. Neither of them work. Rebooted and tried again but not luck. Any suggestions. Details required : characters remaining Cancel Submit 2 people found this reply helpful.
We have upgraded all pc's to windows 10 at work and everyone is having this problem. even computers with clean install of win10 have this problem as well. I, too, am having issues with Office crashing. Don't know if this has anything to do with it.
I will say this much, the people program closed on its own, but I can still open it and work in it. But ever since I worked in that program, word and excel continuously crash. They were working just fine up until I went into people for the first time. Thought it would be helpful to know what I was doing up until the word and excel started crashing. This is very unacceptable as these programs are detrimental for my job.
I can't do my job with out these programs, we are not happy at all. Even the repair through control panel-programs didn't help. Getting the same issue. I couldn't spend any more than 90 seconds in excel before it crashed. Tried about ten times in a row, all same results. This is on a fresh install of Windows I'm going back to Windows 7. Windows 10 will cause photoshop to crash a ton too.
I've lost all kinds of work. Windows 10 alone seems to randomly hang whenever it wants, and them corrupt all my drivers. Choose where you want to search below Search Search the Community. Search the community and support articles Windows Windows 10 Search Community member.
Even when i want to print from chrome, it freezes and i have to restart. i deleted all printers and reinstalled. i even tried to revert back to 8. anyone facing similar issues? does anyone have any suggestions? This thread is locked. You can follow the question or vote as helpful, but you cannot reply to this thread.
I have the same question Subscribe Subscribe Subscribe to RSS feed. Report abuse. Details required :. Cancel Submit. Replies 61 . Previous Next. Rohit Chettri. Hi, Thank you for your interest in Windows You can fix this with either of the following: Perform an Online full repair of the Office installation, using the repair option in Programs and Features.
A quick repair will not resolve the issue. How satisfied are you with this reply? Thanks for your feedback, it helps us improve the site. In reply to Rohit Chettri's post on August 5, In reply to JohnWink's post on August 5, In reply to the-emperor's post on August 9, Did the uninstall and re-install.
Still getting the same error. Ready to go back to 7 soon. In reply to JohnWink's post on August 11, I have the same problem. Excel crashes constantly. please advise. PLEASE FIX ASAP. In reply to AlanSwan's post on August 17, Yes, profound crashing even after reinstall. Major bug and need a fix ASAP. This issue is ridiculous - key microsoft software not working with its own OS. I have tried all the above suggestions and more and have wasted hours of valuable time to no avail.
Blaque Flag. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Stay with 7. Like many of you, I run a small business and of the mistakes I have made, upgrading to Windows 10 is up there with the worst. MICROSOFT Excel crashes with MICROSOFT operating system?!? If it were not for Autocad, I would bail on MS immediately. MS need to fix this, we are completely shut down. A subscription to make the most of your time. Try one month free. This site in other languages x.
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wildroseofarran · 6 years
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Out of the Blue, Part III || Mason, Charles, & Pete
Pete: Pete sipped his whiskey as he watched a young couple a few feet away having what he could only assume was their first date. They were both red in the face and avoiding eye contact, nerves practically oozing off of them as they tried valiantly to get the conversation momentum going.
It was very sweet, and honestly? Very entertaining. Because see, as quaint and charming as the Richardson Inn was, there wasn't actually a whole lot to do other than watch TV in his room, which had gotten really tedious really fast. So what was Pete to do?
Leave his lovely and boring room, come down to the little tavern that occupied most of the first floor, and do some people watching while he waited for a visitor that might never come.
Mason: Thick fingers brushed over his clothes for what felt like the hundredth time; actually only the fifth. What could this man possibly say? Love was already an established feeling. He knew damn well what Clarke -
He turned, walked several paces from the hotel and paused.
He couldn't leave. Not only would he disappoint himself, but the man waiting for him at home. He would disrespect Clarke's memory. He would dishonor Clarke Taylor's death.
A hundred and eighty degrees he turned. Two feet from the entrance and he stopped dead in his tracks.
Dark brown eyes watching his every move; that would be how Peter Graham would find the demon.
Pete: Pete was still watching the couple when Mason arrived, an absent smile on his face as he watched their progress. They'd managed to get into a good rhythm with the small talk, and he suspected they'd get into deeper subjects by the time their entrees arrived.
It was a prickle at the back of his neck that had him finally tearing his attention away. He glanced around the tavern, searching for the source and spotting Mason standing at the door, staring at him.
Pete blinked. Holy shit. He'd actually showed up.
Mason: Despite the storm electrifying his insides, Mason calmly made his way inside. Various violent thoughts amused and quelled his mind as he took an adjacent seat. What now, he wondered.
Pete: He watched as Mason made his way over and sat down, half expecting him to change his mind and leave.
"I didn't think you'd come."
Mason: "I didn't think so either."
Pete: "Buy you a drink?"
Mason: "I'll buy myself a drink, and possibly your next one." Back to his feet. He looked over his shoulder. "D'ya remember what I like?"
Pete: "Gin martini," he said softly.
Mason: Peter Graham. This was Peter Graham, he mantraed, turning away to the bar. He could not afford to let this go to his head.
Pete: "He um....that was all he drank when he got to Paris. In honor of you."
Mason: The words were waved away in dismissal. Of course Clarke deserved more than that.
He returned empty handed. The bartender was young blood and fairly new to mixology. He would have to wait.
"I haven't read the letters in full. I wasn't alone. I saw...my things."
Pete: Well, this wasn't going exactly how he thought it would. Blessing or a curse, he wondered.
Pete nodded. "He kept a lot, didn't he?"
Mason: The man by his side nodded and looked away. Everything was more interesting than him.
"Did Clarke plan on coming back to me?"
Pete: "It crossed his mind, more than once. He was afraid to tell you how he felt. He thought you'd reject him."
Mason: "I told him almost every day that he belonged to me."
Pete: "You also told him that not falling in love was rule number one. He promised that he wouldn't because he didn't think he would."
Mason: "I've made that rule for everyone since my wife. I've slept with many men and women, and I've broken my rule a handful of times in over a hundred years."
Pete: "What would you have done if Clarke had sent one of those letters?"
Mason: "I don't know. I was a different man in the 70s."
Pete: Pete stared into his whiskey for a moment. "Fear of being rejected and uncertainty are powerful things." And he wasn't just talking about Clarke.
Mason: "He's just some human," he sighed. That wasn't fucking true and he knew it.
Pete: He shook his head. They both knew that wasn't true. Clarke Taylor was special.
Mason: "My own soulmate can't remember a damn thing n'I mean nothin' t'him. You're here now, with memory. I have someone, Peter, that means the world t'me. All I can do is talk t'Clarke, n'you're not really my Clarke."
Pete: "Those memories didn't just appear in my head when I confirmed Clarke was my previous incarnation, Mason. That's not how it works. Remembering took work, and I had a lot of help from my mentor and from Clarke's own journals. The majority of what I know, I read. Callum doesn't have that luxury. His soul is protecting him for a reason."
Mason: "Can't say it's protecctin' him from a demon when the bastard's in love with a fuckin' vampire."
Pete: "Not protecting him from you. Protecting him from remembering. And for the record, this is just my own theory. I have no idea if it's true or not."
Mason: "I betrayed her by livin'. How fucked up is Fate that I'm punished for tryin' t'survive."
Pete: "Fate invented the concept of being fucked up."
Mason: "Ya shouldn't have died that way."
Pete: He gave a small shrug. "I would've preferred not to have died that way either, but that's life. It was a random accident that could've happened to anyone. Wasn't my fault or the driver's fault. It was the other car. Could've been anybody."
Mason: "Ya had good lungs. It was a game of ours. Ya coulda made it had ya just unpinned yourself."
Pete: "Maybe, but I doubt I was strong enough to do it. These days firefighters use the jaws of life machine to get people unpinned. Not only did I not have that, I was underwater and I'd had a real rough tumble in a metal box before I got there."
Mason: "Ya were strong. Ya were built like Adonis." His lips pursed, thinned, cheeks bitten into. "It's my fault. I shoulda - I shoulda told ya what I am. I shoulda protected - Clarke. I shoulda protected Clarke."
Pete: "Yeah, I know. But being built like Adonis don't mean shit when there's a couple hundred pounds of steel between you and possible survival."
Pete shook his head. "It wasn't your fault, Mason. It was rotten fucking luck. Telling him what you were would've scared the shit out of him and had him running for the door."
Mason: "Maybe, but maybe not. I still coulda saved him. I had the means t'do it. The both of ya, Charles n'ya tellin' me it ain't my fault don't change how I feel."
Pete: "Nothing can when a person is determined to punish themselves, but you punishing yourself also doesn't make it true. You want to blame someone, blame the other driver. They got away without a scratch."
Mason: In the middle of Peter's words, Mason sighed, shifted, and stood. "This fuckin' place is stiflin'." A twenty was handed to the boy as he arrived with his drink. It was downed with a tilt of his head. He headed for the door.
Pete: .....Was he meant to follow? It was hard to tell if the conversation had been going well up until now, but there was still stuff to say.
"Fuck it," Pete said to himself, finishing off his own drink and following after Mason. They were in this now; might as well see it to the end.
Mason: Though he had not decided on any particular direction, his feet were taking him home. A glance back to the fera was given, though he remained taciturn.
Pete: Pete could do nothing but offer Mason a half-smile. There was so much he wanted to tell him, so many little things about Clarke that he might not have known, but Pete didn't want to overwhelm him. Especially not when Mason felt so responsible for the way Clarke had died.
Mason: Halfway down the road, he turned, hands in pockets, and watched the man trailing behind him.
"Say it. Your mind is very loud n'it's annoyin'."
Pete: "Do you even want to hear it?"
Mason: "Let's here it."
Pete: "He did come back to you in a way. He's buried in New Orleans. Bronwyn tracked down the cemetery and she's been looking after him until I can go see him. She planted white roses for him since Druids don't believe in leaving cut flowers. They were his favorites."
Mason: "I know they were. Bron - Why the fuck is she involved without even tellin' me?"
Pete: "I only asked her a couple days ago. She uh, she gave me your address."
Mason: "Between her n'my brother, I-" He closed his eyes, pinched harshly on the bridge of his nose with irritated fingers. "I knew he died. I knew he drowned. I saw his grave, but I stopped takin' care of it in the 90s." That's how long it took to heal.
Pete: "Please don't be upset with her, it wasn't her fault. I asked her not to tell you. She was just helping me out. I thought this was something you needed to hear directly from me and I'd already made plans to come up here." For better or worse. This wasn't the type of thing you pawned off on someone else.
He nodded. "Louise told me she'd sent you a letter after the accident." He didn't, however, know that Mason had cared for Clarke's grave. "Why did you stop?" he asked quietly.
Mason: Now there was a name he hadn't heard in a long time.
"Ya spoke t'her. Still alive?" Old bird will never die.
"She sent it, n'I -" He couldn't just confess something of this magnitude. He shut his mouth and looked away. Hands firmly planted to his hips as he took a momentary vow of silence.
Pete: Pete nodded. "I did and she is. I think she's in her 70's now. She's the one who gave me all of Clarke's things, told me about him. I spent a lot of time with her."
There was no masking his curiosity about what Mason had been about to say but he wasn't going to push.
Mason: Some things had to be left unsaid. Some things had to remain private for his own sanity. What would telling Peter achieve in this moment? Closure? No. It would only make matters worse.
He could however say this: "I stopped because he had moved on t'someone else before he died. I was pathetic. I was honorin' nothin' at all by cleanin' his grave of leaves n'dirt n'givin' him roses on his birthday. It had become ritual. It was just...ritual. He didn't see it; he was somewhere else n'I, as is with everything, was left t'fuckin' remember."
Pete: His brow furrowed. "You mean the photographer? They weren't in a relationship. There was some unrequited love there but it wasn't on Clarke's part. You really think he would've written years of love letters to you if he'd moved on?" Come now, Mason. You meant more to Clarke Taylor than that.
"You were honoring something. You were honoring him, the only one who was. Giving him roses wasn't meaningless."
Mason: "Ya didn't see it," he snapped.
Pete: "He does. You might feel like it was just a ritual but rituals have power, Mason. You don't need me to tell you that. The cake Louise makes for him every year, the roses you left, the candles I burn for him, they all mean something."
Mason: "Ya light candles for your own soul?"
Pete: "For who my soul was. I told you. Clarke means something to me. I found out about him when I was at my lowest, when all I wanted to do was bury my head in the sand and disappear. I spent more than a year feeling like an exposed nerve and feeling the loneliest I'd ever felt in my life and learning about him and feeling that connection with him helped me be at peace with myself again. Because no matter how many shitty things I'd done and how shitty I felt, everything that made him good and everything people loved about him was a part of me."
Mason: "A demon...loved him. At your lowest? I bought your services. When ya needed someone most I had my back turned. I was more attentive after ya died than perimortem. I didn't tell ya t'stop. I didn't care what ya did. I only cared that ya belonged t'me. What could be lower now than what I did before?"
Pete: "Clarke didn't see it that way. Being an escort wasn't the lowest point of his life. He had freedom, he was doing something he enjoyed, he got to live a life he could only dream of living before he left home. He was in love. His death was painful but it was an accident and in his last moments he got to see you. He didn't spend a year crying. He didn't hurt the person he loved the most and himself and someone else in the process. His reality didn't get shattered. Twice. An evil bitch didn't beat the fuck out of him and try to rape him. How's that for lower?"
Mason: "How d'ya constantly get yourself in these situations? If not a demon, some vampire, if not a vampire, some perverted incubus at the gym in New Orleans. I am not surprised that ya turned into a Fera breed. Ya earned it."
Pete: "A perverted what? And what the hell are you talking about 'earned'? I didn't earn this! It was more shitty fucking luck! Turning for the first time was one of the goddamn worst experiences of my life!"
Mason: Clarke. "Peter, ya have no idea how lucky ya are t'have lived the life ya got."
Pete: "Well it hasn't felt all that lucky. He was the lucky one. I wouldn't wish all this bullshit on him."
Mason: "Think it was easy for him in the 19-fuckin'-70s? Everything seems easier when ya can only look back on it. Ya get t'romanticize shit that wasn't yours."
Pete: "I'm not romanticizing anything. And he is mine."
Mason: The opposite argument he'd had with Callum MacGillivray. It couldn't be both ways.
"Have that conversation with Callum n'leave me be."
Pete: "I didn't come here to argue with you about Clarke. I don't fucking care if you don't think I have the fucking authority to say anything about him because I do. He's a part of me. I've known him my entire fucking life, since I was a little kid and couldn't understand why the boy I liked ignoring me hurt so much. He's mine, and I love him, and I wanted to share this with you because you were the only person who could understand and appreciate why he means so much to me. I thought it would mean something to you that I could remember, that maybe I could share parts of him with you that he never could because he was afraid. He's been dead for over thirty years and you're still shutting him out."
Mason: "I had my fuckin' reasons. My own wife doesn't give a flyin' fuck that I went through Hell t'keep her close, t'see my children again, t'be with her in case I died. I did everything for Callum n'I've never once been on his radar. I ripped my soul in half t'give him a better fuckin' version of me n'it wasn't enough! Now you're here n'ya actually have memory! I can't have Clarke. I have Charles n'if he heard any of this -"
He turned away, squeezed nails into his hip. He would not get emotional about this again. He would not fucking cry.
"I stayed with his coffin from France t'New Orleans. I was never a foot from him until he was properly buried."
Pete: "Have you ever stopped to think for one second why Callum built such a big fucking wall against you? One, he didn't get the chance to find out about Dahlia on his own, your brother forced it on him in the worst way possible. There was nothing gentle about him finding out, he didn't have someone guiding him. And most importantly, I sincerely believe she's been fucking protecting him this whole fucking time. It killed you when I described my death, I saw it in your eyes. It wasn't some dream, it wasn't a secondhand account. I relived it and it fucked me up for weeks. I didn't even want to fucking bathe or drive because being near water and cars made me nervous. Can you imagine what reliving Dahlia's death would do to Callum? How it would break him?
"Remembering even a snippet of a past life takes serious fucking magic and a strong fucking will. I didn't know what I was walking into. He would. Is that really what you would've wanted? Do you really think that's what she would've wanted? For all that pain and misery and torture to be dragged up again? Because that's what happens when you remember. It's not just the good that comes up again. You're damning me for remembering and not really being Clarke and you're damning him for not remembering and wanting him to be Dahlia! You can't have it both ways! I just--fuck, Mason!"
Pete fisted his hands in his hair, resisting the urge to growl in frustration. This wasn't how he wanted this to go, but then did it really have a chance of turning out any other way? "I just wanted to give you something nice." His voice was softer now, and directed more at himself than Mason. "I wanted you to have something good of his. Good memories. Not this."
Mason: "I know what comes with it. I tried t'tell him. I was willin' n'still willin' t'keep all the murder n'torture in my own mind if she - if he just had somethin' good. Our children, our weddin', growin' old together. I have everything from both of ya! What part of this d'ya not understand?!"
In his heat of rage, he didn't realize how far his projection reached. Just blocks from his home, Charles would feel his turmoil, replay the conversation with relative ease. His mind was an exposed nerve in need of rescue.
"If I let ya in, I let Callum back in n'I'll die, Clarke." Peter. Peter Taylor. Clarke Graham.
Pete: "He would never let you. It's not about who's carrying the pain, Mason, it's about the pain existing at all. Someone like Callum could never be in peace knowing he'd agreed to have you take all of that and have it playing on a loop in your head. Didn't Dahlia make it a point to go to your brother's execution? Serial killer on the loose for years and she still wanted him to have some comfort before he died. A person like that doesn't just pawn off pain on someone else." He sighed, loud and long. "Do you know what a Druid Mark is?"
Pete shook his head, wondering how to articulate what he was feeling. "I'm not asking you to let me in, hurt yourself by doing so. I just...have you ever loved something so much that you just...wanted someone to love it with you? Even if it was only for a little while?"
Charles: The professor rarely allowed himself to succumb to idleness. Waking hours were working hours. As soon as Mason had vanished, Charles had drained the demon's untouched tea, freshened his own, and grabbed the extra laptop he kept stowed in one of the guestrooms. He was still tapping steadily away when sudden pain broke his concentration. Mason. Charles could feel scorching rage and agony, potent enough to burn the entire street to ash. He grabbed hold of the thread and watched the entire messy story unspool. When he reached the end, his cheeks were damp and his chest was aching, but he stood and set the computer aside. It hadn't been about him earlier, and it certainly wasn't now. He wiped angrily at his face with a sleeve, and took off through the door and down the block at a run. By the time the pair came into view, he'd calmed. His face was flushed, his hair windswept, but his breathing was steady. Everything about his approach was cautious, from his tone, to the hand he rested on the demon's shoulder. "Mason?" The reincarnation was an afterthought. "Hello."
Mason: Mason didn't know what was approaching, nor would he have had any idea how to react. The touch was familiar like muscle memory. He didn't have to guess, only wonder how the hell Charles knew, oblivious of what he had done.
"Charles," a single tear, which he'd been arguing with for some time, fell the instant his guard was broken.
"I...I'm sorry. My mind is a mess. I didn't mean to put any of this on ya."
Pete: Pete didn't notice the man approaching until he was a couple of feet away. If he had perhaps his guard would've been up immediately, but as it was he had only time to register that this was Charles and that Mason was crying.
He couldn't even return the greeting. He just stared at the tear and ignored the burn of them in his own eyes.
Charles: That tear sent spider silk fractures along the telepath's heart. Still, it was easier to keep his own composure in the face of it. He was always more poised when looking after someone else. His thumb brushed the moisture from Mason's cheek, heedless of their audience. "You have nothing to apologize for," he murmured, "I said I'd be here." His voice rose to include the silent stranger, even as he took Mason's hand. "Please forgive me for interrupting. I only... thought you might want to bring the conversation inside." They both clearly needed a moment to breathe.
Pete: Pete nodded at Charles. He seemed...kind. Most people would probably deck someone who brought up memories and gave mementos of a past love to their boyfriend, and although he still could, Pete cautiously hoped he wouldn't.
He looked to Mason again. If he wanted Pete to come inside he would. If not then...
Mason: The anchor which grounded him to true reality was holding his hand. He could breathe again. If not for Charles, Peter would have bear witness to someone's death. Anyone, but he would have seen what a demon was capable of.
"We should...do as Charles says," he uttered, slowly leading back to the house.
Charles: Charles would make the short walk in silence, stealing what he hoped were surreptitious glances at the man who'd wrung such a reaction out of his demon. There was quite a lot of emotion to sort through. He was feeling very... protective. But even in the face of Mason's pain, he still could not blame Peter. What could have made any of this easier? Nothing. The familiarity of the house helped to loosen the tension he carried in his shoulders, though he didn't drop Mason's hand as they crossed the threshold. "Can I get you anything? Something to drink?" He addressed Peter. In the absence of anything useful to say, he always fell back on good manners. 'Do you want me to go?'
Pete: Charles could give him as many looks as he wanted. He could stare at Pete the entire walk and Pete wouldn't notice because he wasn't looking at either of them. He was staring at the ground as he walked, falling behind them as he lost himself in thought. It felt safer right now.
Pete shook his head when he was spoken to. He didn't think he could get anything past the lump in his throat. "I'm fine, thank you."
Mason: For a moment, Mason had forgotten their ability to converse sub rosa. Grateful, he kissed the professor's knuckles. This was irreversibly pathetic behavior on his part.
'No. This is your home, too. I stole you from work to be here. You have more right.'
"Call it in poor taste, but m'gonna make a gin and tonic. So, if someone wants somethin', I'll be in the kitchen."
Charles: Charles didn't view it as pathetic at all. His heart was as warmed as it could be, in present circumstance. He nodded. There was another discussion they'd need to have much later, and without company. "Nothing for me either, love." Despite his earlier request, Charles didn't think he could get anything down, either. Mason could use the moment alone. Charles sat, gesturing for Peter to do the same, if he so chose. He was waiting for the sight of the man to inspire bitterness or animosity, but he felt none of that. Maybe with Callum? He tried for a smile, but it lacked his usual charm. "It's, erm, lovely to meet you. I wish it were under better circumstances, but..." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "I'm very sorry. That you, er, that you've had to carry all of this. Mason told me about Clarke." Was he overstepping? Possibly.
Pete: Pete nodded in thanks and took a seat, though not because he particularly wanted to. He didn't really want to stand either so...might as well be polite. After all, Charles was being more gracious with him than one could expect.
"Likewise," he said softly, his own smile falling short of the mark as well.
"Nothing to be sorry for. Hasn't been a burden. But I'm sorry if it is for you. That wasn't my intention." Though knowing that Charles knew about Clarke did want to make him curl protectively around the man despite him being dead and inside his soul. It wasn't a surprise though. The very fact that Charles was here had to mean that Mason had turned to him for guidance and comfort.
Mason: Considering all actions since the beginning of demonhood, standing alone in the kitchen of his North Carolina home while a patient professor and reincarnated prostitute spoke calmly in the living room, felt his most cowardly. He was grateful for Charles’ presence, but he’d never needed this kind of support in his life. Depending on others after so long bereft felt egregious.
Another cube of ice was added to his highball glass. Right, tonic. He’d skip the lemon today.
‘Are you alright? I can make him leave…’
“Neither of ya have bad intentions. Neither of ya t’blame for anything t’day.”
Mason stood in the hallway between the kitchen and living room, eyes somewhere between them, not daring to focus on either man.
Charles: "Not at all." He shook his head, not quite sure what word he'd use. It wasn't 'burden.' "Today, all of this, it isn't about me. I just can't imagine it's so effortless for Mason. It's a lot." So tread lightly. He turned to face the demon at his approach, offering a smile that was slightly warmer, if still small. 'I'm fine. The two of you weren't finished talking. I was just... worried.' About Mason, Peter, or any unsuspecting passersby? Possibly a combination of the three. "Of course not. No one is to blame. It's just a difficult business all 'round. That's life."
Pete: Pete wasn't sure he entirely believed that, but Charles was making an effort to be kind. That had to mean something, even if it only meant he was being nice so Mason wouldn't get hurt any more. So Pete wouldn't make him cry any more.
"Yeah. That's life." He picked a spot on the floor and stared at it. Maybe it would be for the best if he went home. He could check out early and be back in Edenton in a few hours. Mason and Charles could get back to their lives and Pete could start planning his trip to New Orleans to see Clarke.
"Where do we go from here?" he wondered aloud.
Mason: "Where we go from here...is...ya need t'finish what ya started. Explain t'me what ya meant about the druid mark. I know Callum has one, as does Bronwyn. There was a point ya were gonna make."
Fuck it. The living room was entered with bare feet, shoes discarded in the hallway. Fingers lightly brushed over Charles' shoulder before the demon took a seat on the coffee table's edge, directly facing the Fera.
Charles: He sat back in his spot, tucked unobtrusively into a corner of the sofa. He'd speak up if he was needed, but otherwise would keep all thoughts to himself.
Pete: It took him a second to recall what had transpired in their conversation that made him bring it up, and once he did he have a hesitant look in Charles' direction. He had a feeling what he was about to say wasn't going to win him any points. With either of them.
"Yes, there was. Every Druid gets their Mark when they're fifteen. It can be anything they want on any part of their body and they know this long before it happens. It's been happening for literal millennia. But most of them don't know what design they're going to get until the Elder's in front of them and they've got the poking thing loaded with ink. Callum's is a mandala."
Mason: His reincarnated sex slave talking about his former wife in front of his boyfriend. What a day. "Okay...a mandala." He blinked. "Don't tell me it's a flower. It's not a dahlia."
Charles: The subject matter was interesting, and had he been alone with Mason, he would've had several questions. As it stood, he was content to stare at his hands, grimacing slightly at the mention of the soulmate. That would always be a sore subject.
Pete: "It's not, and that's the thing. I had a conversation with Callum's dad years ago and he told me that he always thought that when the time came Callum would choose some kind of flower." There was a reason his best friend became a florist. Pete believed that before being Dahlia, Callum had been a bee.
"But he didn't choose a flower. During the ceremony he chose for that little piece of his soul to be a mandala. A Celtic knot mandala, that symbolizes birth and rebirth in both physical and spiritual realm." Do you see where he's going with this?
Mason: Mason looked to the ceiling and sipped his drink. Half-finished, he took a breath.
"The subject should stick t'ya n'what ya are n'what ya want from me. I've said my piece about my - my issues with reincarnation. Nothin' t'be done about it. Like I said, damned if I do, damned if I don't."
Pete: "I already have," he said, going back to staring at the floor. "I wanted to give you some of Clarke's things that I thought you should have and...well, you know." He wouldn't repeat the part about wanting Mason to love Clarke with him for a little while, not in front of Charles. That was far too personal and intimate a thing for a stranger to be privy to.
Mason: "I told ya, I have everything from both of ya. If ya wanna know somethin', now would be the time. I could show ya or explain."
Charles: Charles already knew, of course, but felt just as defensive of his own feelings. He had questions, concerns, but they'd keep.
Mason: Mason glanced to the professor. I feel that, those quiet concerns you're mum to say.
Pete: Pete shook his head, got to his feet. He couldn't do this with Charles here and he couldn't--and wouldn't--ask him to leave. This was Mason's home; Pete had no right over it. "Just...read the letters. They're important. And remember what I told you about the photographer." Clarke didn't love him. He loved you.
"If you want anything else, more pictures or if you decide you don't want something or...anything...you know where I live."
Charles: Charles flexed his hands, watching muscle and bone shift beneath freckled skin as he wrestled with growing discomfort. He was here for Mason. That had been the entire point of leaving his school in the first place. But if his presence was going to grind everything to a halt, didn't that defeat the purpose? He stood as well, smoothing the front of his slacks, and shot a somewhat wide-eyed glance at Mason. 'He clearly has more to say. I could go for a walk? I don't mind.' Yes, he did. But he minded far more the idea of drawing this out for weeks or months, of leaving questions un-asked and unanswered until Charles was conveniently out of sight and mind.
Mason: Everyone was getting to their feet, but Mason remained, sipped his drink at his leisure.
"Charles isn't goin' away. I will read the letters, n'I appreciate the effort, but this isn't finished, n'I can't be alone with it. My go-to method of relief is violence. Sue me, it's what I am."
The empty glass was set aside.
"I made mistakes. I have no excuse, just explanations. I should have kept an eye on him in some way, rather than turnin' my back. For that, I apologize t'what's left of Clarke inside ya. I loved him, n'I was a coward."
Pete: "No, please, that's not--Charles, sit. I'll go. I'm going." He turned to Mason. "You won't have to de-stress with violence. I've said my piece on more than what I planned to, I shared the core of what I wanted to share, you have what I wanted you to have." The rest was...self-indulgence. A little moment he'd hoped for but wasn't meant to be.
"I didn't come here to blame you, Mason. I don't. I doubt he would've. You both had your reasons for the way things turned out. And for what it's worth he did love you. He didn't hold anything against you."
Pete sighed and started for the door. "I won't bother you again, you have my word. Goodbye." While he'd been sitting his shirt had slipped a bit out of place, revealing a rather curious mark on the back of his neck. Its shape was one Mason would be intimately familiar with.
Charles: Charles would not sit. He was too busy frowning at Mason, hating that his cheeks were growing pink. "Really, it's no trouble." He'd stay close enough to turn back when this was all over. He wasn't a jealous person. And he was no petulant child who'd pout when he wasn't the center of attention. His issues were his own. This didn't have to end in violence or severed ties. He just needed to... "Peter, please. You don't have to leave. Finish your conversation." He cast another glance at Mason. If he'd seen the mark at all, it didn't register. It held no meaning for him.
Mason: Mason had noticed the familiar mark, but he'd also noticed Charles' expression, the color of his skin, the tone of his voice. He wouldn't dare mention it. The stain-like color to the back of his neck was a reminder that this wasn't truly Clarke, just his soul honoring his past. An honor which was supposed to mean something, but the demon was both weary and wary of reincarnation. The damage of remembrance was done.
"Godspeed, Peter Graham."
Pete: Pete just shook his head and offered Charles a sad, small smile. "Yeah, I do. You've been more than gracious and I know you're saying that to be polite but you don't want me here. And I don't want to intrude any more than I already have."
He opened the door, completely unaware of the mark on his neck and of Mason's internal reaction to it. "Wish we'd met under different circumstances." A last look was given to Mason before Pete let himself out, softly closing the door behind him.
Charles: "Yeah," he breathed, but Peter was already gone. "Me too." He stood staring at the closed door for a long moment, putting order to his thoughts. His breath left him all at once as he sat down hard on the sofa, and finally turned to Mason. "I'm sorry."
Mason: Mason was busy watching his beloved watch the door, that when he finally sat, it nearly startled him. He too was lost in his own thoughts. He was only grateful this hadn't been worse. It could always be worse.
"Don't be."
Charles: "Too late." He couldn't quite summon a smile to accompany the pitiful attempt at humour. His hand extended in silent offering. There was much to discuss, some of it unpleasant, but they had plenty of time. At the moment, he just wanted Mason close.
Mason: His demon looked to his hand and back to his eyes. For the moment, there was no invasive glance into his mind. If Charles had something to say, there was no doubt that he would say it.
The space on the couch next to Charles was taken, his hand trapped between two larger, more experienced hands.
"Everything ya need n'want t'say, I'll listen."
Charles: He nodded, but didn't speak for several minutes, satisfied with resting his head on Mason's shoulder. His mind revisited the evening's events in greater detail. "This feels unfinished," he began, apropos of nothing. It was confession time. "I... heard everything. You were emotional. Projecting. I wanted to see if you were all right. I apologize." He tilted his face into Mason's shoulder. "Peter seems like a nice man. Truly. But I don't like that there's a part of you that he'd rather you kept from me. Not that he has any control over what you do, of course. It just... chafes."
Mason: Mason was beginning to enjoy the silence when Charles found his voice. The word "emotional" made him wince. What a terrible and emasculating word. He suddenly yearned for his younger self.
Slowly, bricks were mortared to the ever growing wall of his mind. Times like this, he missed his inviolable sanctuary.
But then Charles Xavier pressed his face into his shoulder. The foundation of his safeguarding was weak.
"Clarke was...always a very private person with...many things. Apparently, like me, or we would have said what we felt. That part of him was - is probably everlasting. Don't really know how much is nature or nurture. That... probably nature of his soul. It's..." The demon shrugged.
"I'm... grateful for ya, n'all ya put up with."
Charles: Had his mind been open to those thoughts, he would have protested vehemently. But he, too, was lost in his own musings. He pulled back just enough for his frown to be visible. "You make it sound as though loving you is a chore, or a... a burden. There is nothing further from the truth. Life breeds trouble. I'm going to have to wade through it whether I'm with you, or someone else, or on my own." He felt he'd said enough to reclaim his position, fabric once again muffling his words. "I know I'll never be Callum." Said oh so softly. He paused for a beat too long before continuing. "Or-or Clarke, or an angel, or anyone but who I am. But I'm here. And an expert in the field of difficult situations."
Mason: "One person's agony is another person's lukewarm irritation. What I am n'what I offer is so much worse than some - Why ya chose me after another demon I dunno. M'not a carbon copy of issues, but -" Fuck, he didn't want a similar conversation to months before. He rubbed his eyes and took a breath.
"Don't," nearly growled. "Don't do that. I know you're not. I don't want ya t'be. I want ya t'be the man I fell in love with. I love ya just as ya are n'I don't wanna hear ya compare n'contrast like that again. It's absurd."
Abruptly he turned and wrapped his arms around the mutant's waist. He needed to give more than words. He needed to kiss his shoulder, nuzzle and breathe him in.
Charles: Charles shook his head, but said nothing. He wasn't interested in revisiting that dead argument, either. This newer, more poignant discussion, however... "Bu--" Before he could counter, he was in his demon's arms, reminded of why he was here in the first place. As it always did, his body melted under Mason's touch. He buried both hands in his dark hair and sighed. "Yeah. Yes, alright. I won't. Just... I won't. I love you."
Mason: The demon sank back on the couch and held on for dear life.
"I know my mind is chaos, but everything ya felt... know it's not against ya. Please understand I'm carryin' everything everyone else forgot."
Charles: "I do. I understand." He pressed his forehead to Mason's and shut his eyes. "But you're not alone with any of it." A point he'd keep driving home until it stuck. "Whatever you need from me, whenever you need it. Remember that."
Mason: "Right now I need your cool skin n't'feel ya breathin', if that's alright by ya." There was nothing more he needed or wanted in that moment.
Charles: "Of course." If it was skin his beloved wanted, it was skin he would have. Charles unbuttoned and shrugged out of his rumpled shirt without ceremony, draping the fabric over the arm of the couch. He'd do the same for Mason, until there was nothing between them.
Mason: Mason leaned back to observe this spontaneous display. He had meant hands and cheek against his chest, feeling him breathe, possibly a nap. This was much more and so much better.
"I love you, Charles." He seemed to call back in slow motion, opening his arms to receive his companion.
Charles: His smile was small, but genuine. "I know." He took his place in Mason's arms, pressing close to his chest. His breathing was already slow and regular. This day felt centuries long. "I love you, too."
Mason: "Wanna just lay like this for a while?" he whispered.
Charles: "If that's what you want," he responded, just as softly, "then yes. Today's been... long."
Mason: "It's only been an hour at best," he sighed. "I swear it hasn't been all day."
Charles: "Feels longer." He pressed a kiss to the center of his demon's chest. "Though I could lay blame on the preceding ten hours I spent wrangling teenage mutants."
Mason: "I should make some excuse t'be your own personal notary, always at the school t'help ya wrangle children. Be the next Logan t'send em runnin'."
Charles: "Mason, do you have any idea how much I'd love that? Not having to steal time away from the kids, or from you. We could spend so much more time together." He laughed, a little wistfully. "But my lifestyle... it weighs on anyone." He could think of a few examples, namely a certain ex-husband who'd pulled a disappearing act for that very reason. "I couldn't ask anyone to take that on." Not again.
Mason: "Not like I'd be givin' the house away. I already have people squattin' in the New Orleans house. I still have my contracts. The children can never know, of course. Neither of us need that headache." Charles didn't need people to know he was in love with a murderer.
Charles: "No," Charles agreed, though, as ever, he was considering things from a different angle. "The reality of an afterlife is just... too heavy a conversation to have with a teenager. And of course you'd keep the house. I've been thinking about that for a while, actually. Logistics. I was wondering if it was too soon to have this conversation..." He didn't think so, but fading bruises made him hesitant.
Mason: "Tell me what you've been thinking. I don't want to riffle through your mind; I wanna hear it." A welcome distraction, and he felt no sense of waiting.
Charles: He snuggled deeper into Mason's hold and sighed. "I've been thinking that I love going to bed with you, and waking up with you. I... enjoy when our lives involve one another, and I'd like more of it. Sneaking off for a weekend here and there is great, but--" He turned to stifle a groan against his demon's chest. "This house is lovely, and yours, and you should absolutely keep it. But it's seven hundred miles away from my students. As long as humans want us dead, or collared and caged, there's a massive target suspended above the school. I can't afford to be out of mind's reach from them for any extended period of time. If something were to happen while I'm away, without my knowing... I don't know how I'd live with myself."
Mason: The longer Charles spoke, the more frustrated he became. The situation was to blame, not the man comfortable yet groaning in his arms. Their bed was made; lying in it was a different matter.
"So, I sleep in your bed, wake up with you and watch over children, possibly teach some class...avoid altercations with your work colleagues." Such a daunting task, his was supposed to believe. "That's the life ya want for us?"
Charles: "You misunderstand me." He sat up to look Mason in the eye, shook his head. "As I've told you, I lived that life before, with someone who was less than enthusiastic about the situation. That, among a number of other issues, led to the dissolution of my marriage. I'm uninterested in repeating past mistakes. I was merely toying with the idea of sharing a place closer to Westchester. I could be at home, without stressing over what might happen to the students in my absence. You could carry on with life as usual, just... with me?" His tone had grown less confident as he explained, and he finished with a small shrug.
Mason: Though his chest was bereft of warmth, Mason remained in place. Hands were used as pillows.
"N'I think ya misunderstand my tone. I wanna sleep in your bed, at first, a few nights a week. No holiday or weekend excuse. I wanna wake up with ya. This isn't an idea t'materialize overnight. I asked if that's the life ya want. S'two houses like now. Just me actually participatin' in your own."
Charles: "I..." The idea frankly terrified him, for obvious reasons. Though, Mason was Mason, not anyone else. History wasn't always doomed to repeat itself, was it? "I want a life with you, however it manifests. But, yes, having you involved in the other facets of my life would make me happy." He stretched out atop Mason again, like the heat-leech that he was. "So... a few nights a week?"
Mason: "That's what I wanna hear." Arms unfolded, welcoming him back where he belonged in his obnoxious warmth.
"We dance too much; the two of us have gotten used to the fling that we were, stuck on how t'move forward." His smile returned, devilish. "N'yet the idea of not bein' together makes ya quite the formidable demon. I have t'admit, I love your audacity."
Charles: He snorted softly and pressed his face against Mason's shoulder. "Knowing how I feel and what I want hardly makes me audacious. And what do you want, Mason Atlas? I'm not convinced that chasing super-powered adolescents was ever on your bucket list."
Mason: "Audacious is the word when ya have the gall t'tell a demon t'fuck a cactus." He wasn't going to let that die a quiet death. In retrospect it was hilarious.
"I haven't chased children since my own. I can't say I miss it, but, it's your life. This is - we are more than we were. I can wrangle with the best mutants."
Charles: "I..." Damn. He couldn't really argue with that, could he? He shook with muffled amusement. "Yeah. Alright. Perhaps." That deserved a kiss. He adjusted his position, until he could capture Mason's lips, slow and sweet. "We are. More. It's a bit frightening, but I'm so happy. And, sweetheart, I admire your confidence, but you haven't seen a tantrum until you've witnessed a child nearly collapse a building. We'll ease you into things."
Mason: 'I know why you're frightened,' he thought. If Charles caught it then so be it. He'd made no attempt to build a barrier.
"Ya haven't seen a demon tantrum like I have. A woman I knew, Rose, shattering every bone in a man's body when he rejected her." He almost laughed, but oh, this was Charles. He would manage a straight face.
Charles: 'Oh? And why's that?' A projection. If Mason wouldn't speak aloud, then neither would he. His eyes widened, his face going pale. Empathy had its drawbacks. "Goodness. Can't say I've ever seen a child do that. Set someone on fire, sure. But that is... intense."
Mason: "Third degree burns not on par with shattered bones?" He wouldn't be answering that question just yet. He was certain Charles knew the answer.
Charles: Charles knew the truth, whether or not he and Mason were on the same page. "Not quite. We extinguished him before any real damage was done. His eyebrows never looked the same, though. Every bone would be tough to bear."
Mason: "He didn't suffer long." I put him out of his misery. It was pathetic in the true sense of the word to watch.
"Lawrence might love a visit there," he sighed.
Charles: "Well, that's... good, I suppose." In the scheme of things. He pillowed his head on Mason's shoulder again. "To the school? You know he's more than welcome. Any time." Charles worried about him, but he wouldn't volunteer that information.
Mason: "He could truly be labeled a mutant. What with stealin' my pyromancy."
Arms returned where they loved, around Charles' shoulders.
Charles: "'Stealing', he says. I doubt it was intentional. Mm. It might be good for him to be around others. The teachers are all great company. And if he ever needs to vent without accidentally committing arson, we have disaster-proof training rooms in the basement."
Mason: "It was! The fuckin' djinn asked him what he wanted t'protect himself. Treated him more kindly than me." That trickster still had revenge heading his way. He just had to plan a worthy punishment.
"Next time we merge he'll get the message."
Charles: "Oh. Well, then, you have a point. Stealing is accurate." Not that Charles could blame the man for wanting a way to protect himself. He wouldn't have chosen fire himself, but he was biased. "Good. Thanks." Fingers traced his name in looping script against Mason's chest. "Where is he, anyway? It's been a long while since I've seen him."
Mason: "He's off with some human named Gina. The light of his life, I suppose, given the circumstances. A woman from Edenton, owns an inn." He closed his eyes, tried to read Charles' cursive.
Charles: "Mm. Yes. I remember." Just his name, flowing occasionally into loving nonsense. "I'm glad for him. Fate doesn't get a say in everything." Was he referring to Lawrence or himself? Who knew?
Mason: All he could see when glancing down was hair and a curved arm around his body. He kissed what he could and sighed. The professor would feel the cool sensation of a curious mind.
'Where are you right now?'
Charles: Charles kept his thoughts open, shrouding nothing. He was still thinking of Lawrence, of the man finding real love despite circumstance. Did he have peace as well? Happiness? The telepath could only speculate. What he knew was that the man holding him was his, no matter what fate or anyone else had to say about it. "I'm here," he mumbled softly, shutting his eyes. "I should call the school. Let them know I'm staying." He was not moving.
Mason: "I'm yours?" How romantic. He wanted to possess Charles the same way, to claim him despite circumstances, but Fate had beaten him bruised. Some day he was going to have to confront Charles' true mate. Someday, Charles might fall harder for someone else. Life found a way to offer his every companion an exit strategy.
"I can go with you, or bring you back in a few hours."
Charles: "Mhm. And don't forget it." The lines between their minds were blurred. Those thoughts made him frown. He'd have to find some way to convince Mason that he was in this for life, that his heart had been claimed. Patience, he supposed. And time. "We'll concern ourselves about it later. They'll keep, for a while." Or they'd call.
Mason: That being said, then Mason would indulge in closing his eyes and drifting off to a much needed nap. The case full of memories still plagued his mind. He wanted to read the unsent letters in full. He would have to put the case away somewhere. The attic, perhaps, where it would be safe collecting dust.
Charles: Charles would stay up for a while longer, lost in thoughts and the steady sound of Mason's breathing. Sleep would set his mind at ease soon enough.
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tigerlover16-uk · 6 years
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You know, I don’t have a source on this so don’t quote me, but I've heard talk that the writers of Dragon Ball Super might not have known about the decision to end the show until not long before we did.
While I have no idea if that’s the case, I can believe it, because it explains a lot of things about how this current saga has been written. Especially the stuff with Gohan. His elimination felt odd, given how much set up he’d had, and back in episode 90 he was talking about how he wanted to keep getting stronger and reach “A new form that no one has seen before” or something like that.
And I really think the writers were hoping they’d be able to follow up on that in the next saga. One of the directors mentioned in an interview that they’ve been trying to nudge Toriyama into using Gohan more and exploring his and Goku’s relationship more extensively, with the two of them wanting to train and get stronger together (Which is what they were setting up in this saga).
It was clear that they’ve wanted to do this for a while, considering they started setting Gohan up for a comeback since the end of Resurrection F, and they mentioned that they couldn’t include Gohan in a more active role in the Future Trunks saga because Toriyama didn’t give them the chance.
Toriyama probably planned to have Gohan get eliminated near the end and not play a key role in beating either Jiren or Toppo from the start. Which probably wasn’t what the writers were hoping for, but they probably assumed they were going to get another saga to take Gohan’s development further anyway, so just started setting up what they wanted to do with him by having before the tournament, giving him some notable moments during the tournament itself and hoping they could always do a more satisfying pay off for his character arc later.
Doesn’t explain why episode 124 in particular was so lackluster, but they were clearly having some production problems at the time considering the animation and it ended up in the hands of a writer who has a reputation as not one of Super’s best among some people. That was probably just a bit of bad luck.
And of course with Super now being announced as over (For now, we could always get a new show), any ideas the writers probably had for continuing Gohan’s development and role in the show going forward are off the table for now.
A lot of this is speculation, but honestly based on everything I’ve seen and been able to surmise about Super’s writing process and production, I firmly believe this was the case.
I kind of feel bad for the writers, honestly. Despite all the flack Toei gets for being greedy, lazy and soulless from a sizeable portion of the fandom, I always do get the feeling that the people working on the show are sincerely trying to put out a good product.
But they’re under bad circumstances. The show was rushed into production by trigger happy executives who couldn’t wait because they wanted it to air right after Kai wrapped up and ride the hype of the RF movie, and the show has rarely more than the occasional week long break, so the writers have probably had to struggle to get scripts done on time to send off for episodes to be animated, probably without as many revisions as they would have like.
Which probably also meant that a lot of writers weren’t always able to communicate and double check that they were all on the same page with everything, which would explain why there’s occasional inconsistencies between certain episodes, especially when new or freelance writers had to be brought in, like Ayumu Hisao for episodes 119 and 126.
Add to that that Toriyama is the one planning the story (A man who is notorious for not planning ahead and forgetting a lot of minor details of his past writing, and making everything up as they go along) and the writing staff have to get his approval to do anything and don’t seem to have much authority on changing important plot details that he’s decided on if they see fit unless they fight really hard with him (And they seem to have less success with this than Toyotaro does), and naturally there’s going to be a big clash of priorities between all of the people involved.
Honestly, as much as I love Toriyama, since he’s not the one actually writing the story himself in manga form for the anime to adapt this time around, I almost wish he had less authority on where the story goes and the writers were given more freedom to go in their own directions, since they seem to have a lot of the best ideas (If not always enough time to flesh them out properly) and care more about doing things with characters that aren’t Goku and Vegeta than Toriyama appears to.
I guess all of that is why I can never be too mad at Super or Toei’s writers and animators for making it the way they have, even when things go wrong. Super’s problems aren’t the fault of incompetence, laziness or “An agenda to ruin Goku by Vegeta fanboys on the writing staff” or any of the other nonsense this elitist fandom likes to prattle on about.
It’s the result of careless executive decisions and too many cooks in the kitchen. If the show had had more time in pre-production and the writers had more freedom, I think we would have had a more consistently great product. And while that’s sad to think about how much better the show could have been, what we’ve got still has been enjoyable and has a lot of redeeming value, and I think a lot of that is because the people working on the show really were putting in their best efforts under poor circumstances.
It’s why I’m optimistic about the future of Dragon Ball and the prospect of a follow up to Super in the next few years. After how heavily publicised and derided Toei’s decision to rush Super into production was, and how clearly unhappy the staff and possibly Toriyama himself were over these circumstances, I highly doubt Toei’s executives would be stupid enough to make the same mistake twice, so if they do order another show soon, it’s likely to get a longer, more stable production timeline before it starts airing.
So, yeah, there may be a light at the end of that tunnel. 
I dunno, I just wish a lot of the people in this fandom would just stop instinctively bashing Toei and the show’s production staff as being these incompetent jerks who’re actively ruining Dragon ball because they clearly don’t care about the series as much as the REAL fans do.
Often times when a show doesn’t turn out amazing and well thought out, it’s not automatically going to be down to the people making it were bad at their jobs. It’s cool if some people just straight up don’t like Super and want to complain about it, but please stop and consider WHY things might have turned out the way they did before you go disrespecting the people who make it. Otherwise you’re maybe being a little pretentious and unfair.
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lelou-quotes · 4 years
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What are some drawbacks of being attractive?
Assumptions that you have been ridden more than a donkey on a Caribbean beach.
Almost every other guy starts the conversation with naming the expensive gift he will buy me or the expensive place he will take me to if I agree to talk to him… but dude I AM talking to you!
Assumptions that you are high maintenance, stuck up, an airhead AND materialistic.
You tell a man you have a masters degree in xyz and he still talks to you like you are a stupid piece of ass, or a kid. I had someone baby-talking me in a bar once. Suddenly I had the urge to pee all over him.
You meet many more men who don’t only speak from both ends, but also think with two heads.
Men approach you with an incredible amount of hostility or disrespect to break down your assumed arrogance because you’re pretty.
Women you have never seen in your life before think it is their right to critique your outfit. Say thank you biatch!
Backhanded compliments. ‘I don’t think you have anything pretty on you but your eyes’ (Thank you for your contribution to human thought madam. Now please let me flush).
Men treat you like a goddess, a star, a queen of Sheba.. never as a person.
Men want to OWN you and WIN you.. like you are a thing. You are a thing.
Expect a scene every now and again. Depending on your perceived level of gorgeousness. Some men who don’t even know you are ready to get into a physical fight over you. You will get the blame no matter what you did or did not do.
Expect to be stalked. Many times in your life. Pepper spray bottle? Ha! I have a pepper spray supersoaker.
Jealous boyfriends, endless insecurity, and endless attempts to break you and bring you down for you to never leave (so you leave).
Everyone around you wants you to validate them on way or the other. God helps you if you utter an opinion they don’t like. You become not just a bitch but a super duper epic bitch. When you are done being tormented, you do become one whether you like it or not. I even know how to say ‘fuck off’ in seven languages.
You start having a very low opinion of so called grownups who are acting really really shallow.
You develop a very sarcastic sense of humour. Sometimes it becomes sad when you are actually not joking at all.
You have the most broken heart in the world but nobody even notices.
Men don’t listen to a word you are saying. You get used to looking into glazed over eyes and hearing words that don’t make any bloody sense.
You get paraded around. Might be a pro not a con if you are vain.
Nobody takes you serious at work even if you are breaking your back and working longer and harder than anyone because hey if you are pretty then you must have slept with someone to get that far.
Men don’t even remotely assume you are ambitious, have decent hobbies, have things you need to bloody do, or even have a good heart. You are ‘hot’ and that is it.... all of it. I spent a year with a partner who did not know I speak four languages till he heard me say it to his friend. He said ‘How come you never told me’. I said he asked me, you didn’t. That’s totally normal in my life.
Every single boyfriend you will ever have will suffer from the Siamese twin syndrome or become passive aggressive when you say you need some space. (OK only 90% of them).
Everyone assumes you are fake. In a way you are. You are smiling at them aren’t you?
If you smile you are a flirt, if you don’t smile you are an arrogant bitch. Thank heavens for Covid-19 masks.
People plan your demise because you either hurt them by your rejection (Sorry I could not fuck everybody. I will make up for it in my next lifetime), or because you will reject them.
Women show you a side to them that makes you feel sorry for men. In fact, generally speaking women scare me. When I am about to meet or get introduced a new group of women, I choose my worst pictures, my dullest outfit, my least amount of make up, and the hairdo that is not a hair do at all.. then slowly tip toe around going back to my normal … very apologetically.
You don’t know wtf to do with a compliment from a woman. I have to really really REALLY watch my tone when I say ‘thank you’, measure my smile, and find something nice to say back to her.. otherwise God help us all if she is someone I see on a regular basis.
If you are a tomboy at heart, you are fucked. You are not allowed to be both attractive and a tomboy. Men will not know what the hell to do with that.
After twenty years of this jovial company, you start slooowly becoming a special kind of psycho… the one who no longer gives a rat’s ass what anyone thinks.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-drawbacks-of-being-attractive
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