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nanaminsonyfans · 4 years

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Between Worlds; Chapter Two

Prologue, Previous, Masterlist

A/N: Heyhey! I got this chapter finish in six hours. i didn't remember the episode that well so i used a transcript of the episode. But with my own spin as well.

Words; 2178

!!TW!! Mentions of blood and a 'F' bomb being used

gif does not belong to me

h/l = hair length

A beautiful sunrise peeked up through the mountains and some cliffs. You felt at home...even though something felt wrong about it. You landed Appa safely on the ground and yawned. It was a long journey, traveling by day and all through the night. You sighed softly hearing Sokka snore, it was comforting yet annoying sound. “Y/n, could you help me with the luggage?” Katara’s kind and gentle voice asked. You smiled and nodded, using your airbending to lift up the bundles from the saddle. Katara gave you a thankful smile while Sokka glared at you. “I need my beauty sleep!” He hissed with a voice crack. You giggled and looked away. “C’mon guys,” You waved them over to you, “I wanna show you one of the most beautiful places on Earth.”

“Y/n, are you sure it’ll be the same as you remember it? You’ve been gone for a hundred years.” Katara said cautiously. “I know, but I am still excited to see it.” You felt a childish like joy and wonder as you approached the path to the said temple. “Woah...y/n it’s beautiful!” She said as you approached the temple.

Zuko’s Fire Nation cruiser: 10:25 am

“By the years end the Earth Kingdom should be under our rule.” The room at an aura that was dark and gloomy. Zuko sat at the table with his uncle standing at his side, as Zhao spoke. “The Fire Lord will finally have victory in this century-long war.” He said smirking menacingly. “If my father thinks everyone and thing will bow down to him, then he is as much as a fool as you...Zhao.” Zuko said that name with such bitterness and anger in his voice. Zhao gave Zuko a stern look whilst glaring, “Two years at sea as tainted your tongue. Brat.” He spat with the same bitterness as Zuko. “Do tell, how is the search for the Avatar going?”

That question set Zuko’s stomach and heart ablaze. The room became hot and humid, it would have been suffocating to anyone that wasn’t a fellow Firebender. Iroh felt the anger rising in his young nephew, so he placed a hand on his shoulder as if to calm him. “We have found her yet.” Zuko answered, his mind wandering to you. Those rosy cheeks, the pink tip on your nose complementary by the cold. He gripped his pants, knuckles turning white. “Her? The Avatar is said to be a male.” Zhao spoke, narrowing his eyes at the Prince, an evil fire and objective behind them.

“My nephew has misspoken. He has other things on his mind. Please keep that into consideration.” Iroh defended, giving Zhao his loving smile as he chuckled softly. Zhao glared and sat down in front of Zuko, staring into his golden orbs. “Then tell me, Prince Zuko, how, exactly, was your ship damaged?”

You smiled as you lead Appa and your new-found friends to the outside of the air temple. “When can I get food?” Sokka whined and rounded the corner, the temple now fully in view. “You’re kidding right?” Katara said angrily, with her arms crossed while glaring Sokka. “You are one of the few outsiders that have ever seen the airbender temple and all you think about is food?” Sokka looked at Katara with a blank expression, “What? I’m a growing boy.” He teased as he followed you.

You sighed softly taking his the fresh air and the sight. Memories started to fill your head, childhood-like memories. It felt comforting yet...scary to you. “This is where we used to play airball...this is where the bisons slept.” You explained pointing to everything. Your eye fell onto scorch marks on the walls and weeds. Your face turned into a sulking expression. “Y/n? Are...are you okay?” Katara asked, placing a loving hand on your shoulder. You flinched, moving away from her as tears filled your eyes. “I’m sorry, I just need a moment alone.” You mumbled, running off into the temple, your footsteps echoed and soon faded away.

You let the tears finally flow when you got to a room you recognized. This was your room, right? You leaned your back against a wall, slowly sliding down to the floor. You hugged your legs close and placed your forehead on your knees. You started to cry. These memories weren’t yours. They were his. You stole his life, and it felt wrong. You feel so conflicted. This was suppose to be a dream, a good dream. It started to feel like a nightmare. You can’t remember what happened in the show now, and you were using that knowledge as a guide. Now you just had Aang’s memories and a few of yours. You knew your name, your sibling’s faces, your parents, but not their faces. The thought of never seeing your family scared you to no end. You let out a sob and tried to catch your breath. You felt lost and you didn’t know what to do.

Fire Nation cruiser: 11:05 am

“A girl bested all you Firebenders?!” Zhao yelled in disbelief then started to laugh. “I should have known you were too pathetic to capture an Avatar let alone a woman.” He hissed still laughing though. “I underestimated her once! It won’t happen again and I can promise you that.” Zuko growled, slamming his fist down on the table, denting it. “That is highly unlikely, young Prince. You are not getting another chance.” He said, now standing up and smoothing his robes. Zuko’s eyes widened in shock, “Commander Zhao, I’ve been hunting the Avatar for two years and I-” “And you failed. The Avatar is much of importance for any more failures.” Zhao hissed, fire spreading from his feet. “The Avatar is the only person that can stop the Fire Lord, you failed to capture her.”

“Her name is y/n!” He hissed and shot fire at the Commander before being restrained by a few guards. “Why would you know or care for her name?” Zhao questioned walking over to Zuko. “Are you becoming more of a traitor by becoming interested in the Avatar?” He asked with a dark tone. Zuko’s eyes widened again and he kicked the guards away. “Of course I am interested in her. She is the Avatar and my ticket back home.” He hissed walking out, after shoving past Zhao.

He can’t be actually...liking the Avatar. She was pretty, anyone can appreciate beauty without being attracted to the source of beauty. Right?

“Y/n! Y/n! Where are you?” It felt like a familiar voice, getting closer and closer. Your mother’s voice. You opened your eyes, squinting as they adjusted to the darkness. ‘Did I fall asleep…?’ You thought as you looked around. There was the sound of something moving, it was quick but there. “Wh-Who’s there?” You asked with a slight waver in your voice.

You held your staff out and poked the cot where you saw the movement. You poked something soft and it screeched jumping out. “Momo?” You asked walking closer to the creature. The creature tilt it’s head while looking at you. Your cheeks turned red in embarrassment. “Sorry, I just feel like I know you. Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you. Wouldn’t even dream of it.” You smiled holding out your hand for him to climb into or sniff. He did both of those, perching on your shoulder happily.

You smiled, you had a new friend. “I should go find the others huh?” You asked giggling softly as he chirped in response. You started to walk down the halls, you saw a soft twinkle of fire and the end of the hall. You hummed softly and followed it, feeling the bison and the two water tribe siblings. “Sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep.” You said guiltily, scratching the back of your neck looking at the two. “Oh thank goodness you’re okay!” Katara said teary-eyed and hugged you. You stumbled back but hugged her as well. “Sorry, memories just came back and I needed to alone.” You explained looking down. “I understand, you must be overwhelmed. Sokka found some fish for dinner.” She said gesturing to the campfire, with three fish rotating from a stick Sokka was turning with a bored look on his face. “Okay, well this is Momo.” You smiled gesturing to the lemur sitting on your shoulder.

“I rather have him for dinner.” Sokka grumbled under his breath, still turning the stick. “Don’t be so negative.” You glare and crossed your arms. “I’m going to explore more, it’s been a while. Katara would you like to come?” You asked sweetly. She nodded and started to follow you as you walked away. You had to move some vines away from some hallways as you walked. Then you fully saw the damage done to the monks and airbenders.

Your eyes widened at the damage. Fire Nation soldier armor was littered everywhere. Burned and scorched monk robes. Your heart shattered at the sight, reality setting in. Then it was set on fire with rage. “Y/n...are you okay?” Katara asked feeling worried, Momo felt it as well and jumped off of your shoulder. You clenched your fist tightly, digging your nails into the palm of your hands. You broke the skin and drew blood. Your tattoos started to glow as wind circled you, slowly turning into a tornado around you. Your h/l h/c hair whirled around as well. Your eyes glowed blue as you turned into a beaming light. You seemed to be watching yourself from the outside. You weren’t in your body.

Katara’s worried voice seemed so far away. You were swallowed whole by the darkness. “Who are you?” A familiar voice asked, causing you to turn around looking for the source. You were in a pitch-black room, the voice echoing. It was his voice. You started to panic and finally, he came to view, dressed in the same monk robes as yourself. It was Aang. “I-I am y/n.” You said with a shaky voice blinking back tears. “Why did you take over my life?” He asked in an irritated tone, which scared you. “I don’t know, I didn’t mean too. I went to sleep and then I woke up here and-” “Well leave!” You flinched and backed away. “I-I don’t know how!” You cried

Katara was trying to snap you out of it. “Y/n! Y/n snap out of it!” She yelled and tried to get closer to you but the wind blew her away. Sokka caught her thankfully. “Katara! What’s wrong with y/n?!” He yelled as the wind blew more angrily.

There was a Fire Sage temple in the mountain above where you were. An old man was watching the situation unfold and then he saw the beam of light. “The Avatar is alive and back! Contact the Fire Lord immediately!” He yelled at some other sages, causing them to flinch and runoff in different directions. You started to cry in your Avatar state. Tears flowed down your cheeks like a river as the glow slowly started to fade, as well as the wind. You fell to the ground on your knees and started to cry.

“She’s out of it.” Katara said breathlessly and scrambled to her feet, running over to you. Sokka followed with Momo on his shoulder. You were still crying, but your face was blank as you stared at the grassy patch you landed in. “What happened?” She asked softly hugging you tightly. “I-I’m sorry Katara. I don’t know what came over me.” You whispered wiping your cheeks while sniffling. “Hey, it’s okay. We understand.” Katara said soothingly, “You must miss them.” “Uh, we do not understand! You just went full-” Sokka started then stopped after Katara shot him a glare. Sokka ended up feeling bad and got down on the ground, hugging you as well. “I-I do…” You whispered and looked up at them, but you noticed a hawk. With a Fire Nation symbol, oh fuck.

“We have to go. I put us in danger. I’m so sorry.” You said grabbing your staff running to Appa. “But we haven’t eaten dinner!” Sokka whined but followed you with Katara. “We don’t have time. We have to go now.” You said with urgency in your voice. The two siblings picked up on that and started to grab their things. Sokka made sure to grab the three fishes as he climbed onto the bison. “Momo c’mon!” You called for the lemur, who flew to your side immediately.

“Appa! Yip tip!” You said while gripping the reins with your trembling hands. Appa groaned in response and started to fly. You glanced and saw the Fire Sage temple. How could you have been so stupid?! You don’t belong here. “Hey y/n, eat something.” Katara said, holding out one of the fishes for you. “No thank you…” You responded, “I’m vegetarian.” As if on cue, Momo snatched the fish and started to eat it. “By the way, where are we going?” Sokka asked.

“I-I’m not sure.”

Taglist;

@imagine-yourself-happy @lilmou5ie @toobsessedsstuff @bluecrystals01 @foolishgang @alrightberries @cheyenne-dunn-universe

If you would like to be in this taglist please send an ask or just message me!

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emy-loves-you · 4 years

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Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 5

Drunk Sad Boys and Katanas

It’s Roman’s birthday and Virgil has a gift for him.

Warnings: Alcohol use, mentions of genitalia, vomit

Chapter 4 | Masterlist | Chapter 6

Virgil sat up from his spot on the bathroom floor. It was early August now, 6 weeks since he met Princey and 2 days since their tour officially ended. The tour was a success, with nearly all of their concerts being fully booked. As soon as they got back they had one day to relax before their yearly tradition: Remus’ birthday. Remus refused to tell them the day of his actual birthday, only that it was in July. So they usually picked a random day in July where they had no plans. They would then proceed to get wasted, share some depressing and/or embarrassing shit about themselves, and have penis-shaped pancakes the next morning (Remus’ favorite). They weren’t actually able to celebrate it in July this year, since they didn’t think Thomas would appreciate them getting wasted while on tour. Virgil now sat there the next morning, trying to vaguely remember what embarrassing thing they confessed last night.

Janus had confessed that he was depressed and slightly suicidal before he met Virgil. “I was just takin’ a walk, thinkin’ ‘what if I just throw m’self off that cliff? Make those bast’rds find my *burb* body.’ Then YOU showed up outa NOWHERE, and then I was like ‘shit, I can’t die, pretty boy needs me.’”

Remus had confessed to having a twin. “He was Mr. Perfect, a jock with a 3.8 GPA and theatre nerd to boot. We had a fight right ‘fore I came out, he said ‘stop tryin’ ta be me!’ He went to a friends house while I came out to mom an’ pa. ‘You’re wrong,’ they said. ‘We have one son, not two!’ I left ‘fore he could go and ‘gree with ‘em. That’s why I don’t cel’brate on the day. He’s prob’ly sitting in their kitchen, the perf’ son with perf’ wife an’ kid with a big cake and no fuckup twin to ruin it.’

Virgil had confessed to having a crush on Patton, Logan and Roman. He blushed, remembering his word vomit- and literal vomit. “They’re all so goddamn cute. Pat texts me every few hours to make sure I’ve eaten. He makes puns and cookies and he’ll blabber on ‘bout the cutest little things. Lo’ll type a speech worth of stuff over jus’ ‘bout an’thin’. He uses r’lly big words, but he gets some wrong. He said that the number of stars ina sky are inf’itesimal, which realy means tiny. It was so damn cute. Then Princey! He has all these lil nicknames for me. He called me hot! What the fuck ‘m I s’posed to do? I’ll fuck it up like I always do and-” He then proceeded to vomit all over himself. Luckily, Virgil has multiple sets of clothes at Janus’ house.

Virgil eventually got up, going to make the aforementioned phallical flapjacks. Soon enough, everyone was sitting around the kitchen table with pancakes and headaches.

Bzzz

Virgil ignored his phone for the moment, going to clean up his dishes and get himself a fresh cup of coffee. He heard his phone go off two more times before he sat down. I wonder what they’re talking about this early in the morning.

P- (10:28 AM) Hey Ro? Are you gonna want the last slice of this Bday cake?

R- (10:28 AM) You can have it, Pattoncake. Though you shouldn’t be having cake for breakfast.

P- (10:28 AM) I know, but it’s SO GOOD!

Virgil nearly spat out his coffee. Birthday cake? Did one of them have a birthday and not tell me?

V- (10:29 AM) Who’s Bday was it?

L- (10:29 AM) July 28th was Roman’s Birthday.

R- (10:29 AM) Logan!

L- (10:30 AM) What? I was merely answering his question.

V- (10:30 AM) Why didn’t you tell me, Princey?

R- (10:31 AM) I’m sorry, storm cloud. You were busy traveling and I didn’t want to interrupt it. We don’t even celebrate it, really. It’s just cake and ice cream between the 3 of us.

P- (10:31 AM) And Presents!

R- (10:32 AM) And presents

Virgil bit his lip. Should he do this? Will it come off as too forward or creepy? Virgil sighed, sending his response before he could change his mind.

V- (10:33 AM) Name your gift. Anything you want

P- (10:34 AM) That’s not necessary, kiddo! But thanks for the offer!

R- (10:34 AM) A KATANA!

L- (10:34 AM) Roman, for the last time, you don’t need a katana.

R- (10:35 AM) Why?!? It would just be for decoration, I swear! Imagine: a stainless steel katana with a red and gold hilt, with the name PRINCE engraved into the metal. I would hang it above the mantle in the living room! It would be perfect!

Virgil looked up, Remus and Janus still eating. “Hey J, remember that favor you owe me?”

Janus looked up, looking perfectly calm and collected, even though his hangover was probably worse than Virgil’s. “Which one?”

“That time you groped a stranger, thinking it was Remus. You were too drunk to properly respond so I took the blame. And the ban from that club.”

He cringed, taking a sip of his coffee. “Ah, I remember now. What do you need?”

“How long would it take to get a stainless steel, custom made katana anonymously sent to a house around 20 minutes away from here?” Virgil had been surprised to find out that his new crushes lived in the same city as him. They didn’t know that, however. Actually, they hadn’t asked Virgil anything too invasive, usually sticking to hobbies and daily life. Virgil didn’t know how he felt about that.

Janus sighed, pulling out his phone. “Give me the details and address. I’ll see what I can do.”

Half an hour later, Janus told Virgil that it “would arrive at Prince Charming’s house in two weeks.” Virgil blushed at the nickname (so what if he’s fantasized Princey as Prince Charming? That’s none of J’s business) and pulled out his wallet. “If you attempt to pay me back I will personally remove your testicles.” Janus smirked, “Besides, you totally want to know how much it costs to order a katana.” Virgil sighed, pocketing his wallet. He pulled out his phone, deciding to leave it a surprise. He would also have to find a good apology gift for Logan and Patton.

V- (11:10 AM) I think I know what to get you now. It should arrive in 2 weeks. Happy Belated Birthday, Princey!

R- (11:11 AM) Ooh, what is it! I need to know, Marilyn Morose!

V- (11:11 AM) Not telling :)

And Virgil kept his word. Every day, Roman would ask what the surprise was, and every day, Virgil would refuse to answer. Two days before the katana was scheduled to arrive, Virgil called up the local confectioner and had them send Logan and Patton’s favorite chocolates to their house (dark chocolate-covered pomegranates for Logan, white chocolate-covered strawberries for Patton). When asked, Virgil had called them “Pre-apology sweets.” That only fueled Roman’s need to know what his belated gift was. Finally, the day arrived. It was a Saturday afternoon, so Roman would be at the theatre and Patton would be at the bakery. Virgil kept his phone glued to him all day, waiting for the inevitable Logan rant.

L- (2:32 PM) VIRGIL!

V- (2:32 PM) Yeah, Lolo?

L- (2:32 PM) HOW COULD YOU?

V- (2:33 PM) In my defense, I gave you pre-apology chocolates.

R- (2:33 PM) IS IT HERE?!!? WHAT IS IT??? I’M ON MY WAY HOME NOW

L- (2:34 PM) ROMAN NO

R- (2:34 PM) ROMAN YES

R- (2:40 PM) SQUEEEE [*Photo Attachment*]

Virgil opened the attachment, excited to see how the katana turned out. It was stainless steel; with a red, gold, and white hilt. Both the metal and the sheath showed the word PRINCEY. It turned out quite nicely, in Virgil’s opinion.

V- (2:41 PM) Happy Birthday, Princey

R- (2:41 PM) I LOVE IT! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

L- (2:42 PM) Roman, where are we gonna put a FREAKING KATANA?

V- (2:42 PM) Roman said you guys had space above the mantle.

R- (2:43 PM) Logan just made the Windows error sound. I’m kinda terrified

L- (2:43 PM) FLAMES! ON THE SIDES OF MY FACE!

Virgil laughed, flopping back onto his bed. He called the confectioner again (he’s pretty sure their name is Joan?) to order another set of apology sweets for Logan and Patton. Logan liked Crofters Jam, right? Maybe he’ll like the jam-filled pastries. Today was a good day.

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby

#useless gays #sanders sides fic #LAMP fic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #texting fic

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gumnut-logic · 4 years

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Flannel (Bit 26 and THE END)

Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 | Bit 4 | Bit 5 | Bit 5a | Bit 6 | Bit 7 | Bit 8 | Bit 9 | Bit 10 | Bit 11 | Bit 12 | Bit 13 | Bit 14 | Bit 15a | Bit 15b | Bit 16a | Bit 16b | Bit 17 | Bit 18 | Bit 19a | Bit 19b | Bit 20 | Bit 21 | Bit 22 | Bit 23a |Bit 23b | Bit 24 | Bit 25 | Bit 26 (The End)

Okay, this is an ending! Woohoo! Soooo many thanks to all you wonderful Thunderfam peeps who have written almost as much encouragement as I have fic ::hugs you all like crazy:: thank you for reading, commenting and putting up with my crazy during this fic (like this extremely strange posting schedule). Would you believe all these little bits add up to 22,000 words?! I never expected it to be this long (I’m blaming Alan - he was the one who wanted to go visit the mountain - it was supposed to finish just before that!) It went places I never expected. I had no idea when I started where the incident had actually occurred. I also now know a lot more about Washington State than I did before.

Extra thanks to @scribbles97 for reading this bit through and telling me it was okay when I thought it was too soppy. Yes, Nutty got soppy. Must be all the tears this fic has induced - even I got teary when Scotty cracked ::wails::

Anyways, I’ll stop babbling. Thank you being wonderful and I hope you enjoy this last bit.

-o-o-o-

It was John who was the practical one. Aware of his brothers’ state of mind, the suspected injuries hidden by Scott and Virgil, and the sun slowly being overtaken by cloud, urged him to gently suggest that perhaps it was time to go.

He had recorded the monument in fine detail. Enough to project a hologram from his phone. He had thoughts on that. Something that might help. But for the moment, his priority was getting his brothers safely home.

A quiet word with Eos and it wasn’t long before a roar echoed across the mountains and Thunderbird Two made her presence known. The great green cargo ship reassuringly familiar in the sea of emotion this place had invoked.

She came in to hover close, her forward hatch lowered. Of course, Virgil was the first to move towards her, an arched eyebrow in John’s direction. The half-smile John sent him in return was enough. Limping or not, his brother climbed the railing around the lookout and stepped onto his ‘bird. Gordon grabbed Alan, saying something that could not be heard over Two’s VTOL, and together they made their way on to the hatchway.

John stepped up beside Scott, who since releasing Alan, hadn’t looked up and stood staring at the monument.

“Time to go, big brother.”

Blue eyes looked over at him before darting in the direction of the hovering Two and then back to the grey flame.

“I miss her.” Barely heard.

“I know.” John reached out and put his hand on Scott’s shoulder. “C’mon, let’s go home.”

A blue inquiry was shot at him before the muscles under his hand relaxed just a little and Scott let his head drop in a single nod. Almost reluctantly, Scott made his way to Two where Alan offered him a hand to climb on board.

John took a last look at the plaque, his mother’s name and the flame forever frozen, reaching for the sky.

Two’s VTOL flickered in echo.

Green was his mother’s favourite colour.

He looked up and knew Virgil would be in his pilot seat by now, demanding control be returned to him. It wasn’t a guess, more a law of physics.

He let his fingers brush over stone.

A quiet, indrawn breath quickly let out again.

“Bye, Mom.”

The breeze overcame the heat of Two’s VTOL and curled its cold fingers in his hair.

He strode over to the hatchway and climbed on board. As the hatch drew him up into the warmth of Two’s belly, he caught sight of Mount Rainier, still massive, still silent, still there, until it was gone and all he could see was Two’s cockpit and all he could hear was her engines and his brothers.

Two minutes later they were out over the Pacific and heading home.

-o-o-o-

Virgil Tracy wore flannel. No matter the climate. No matter the temperature. He wore flannel. At least when he wasn’t wearing his uniform.

Well, almost any temperature. Apparently, John had spoken to Eos at length after their trip to Washington State. His purpose had been to explain the process of human grief. Her response was to heat the villa to thirty-five degrees centigrade to see if she could get Virgil to shed his flannel shirt.

What she hadn’t expected, nor Kayo and Grandma returning from the mainland unexpectedly, was how many other items of clothing might be shed.

Five Tracy boys in only their underwear as they desperately tried to cool down a hot house on an already hot and humid day, was not a spectacle either of them had expected to see.

John and Eos had a rather longer discussion after that little incident. Eos also made a point of hiding from Scott for the next month or so.

So yes, Virgil wore flannel unless his AI niece’s good intentions tried to cook him.

But what did change after Washington was the words.

Alan made a point of it. Not a big one, but a subtle one. No longer was the topic of their mother banned from conversation and Alan finally had a chance to get to know the woman behind the photos and the videos through his brothers’ memories.

First up he discovered that there was a reason why Virgil wore red plaid. Apparently, he’d had a blanket as a child, now long lost, but he associated it with their Mom and it gave him comfort.

That story appeared one day when Alan came across Virgil sitting out on the balcony. He had the shirt off, but it was laid across his lap. His grey t-shirt pale in the sunlight.

Alan sat down beside him and a rare moment of storytelling just happened. Alan did prod a little with questions, but Virgil appeared quite happy to tell him of the time six-year-old John went swimming in a lake and lost his shorts. Gordon had been just a baby, and Dad wasn’t there at the time, so it had been up to Scott and Virgil to fish their little brother out of the water and protect his modesty.

The fact Gordon’s third word after momomom and dadadadada was jajajajajah made the story all the more amusing.

Scott, too, offered some stories. He mentioned the awards their mother had won. Alan had known his mother was smart, after all her five sons had a decent set of brain cells themselves. But it was more than the awards. It was the stories about the ceremonies and how Virgil had cheered wildly into a dead silent auditorium. How every eye had turned to them, including those of their mother standing on the podium. Her smile had been brilliant.

Unfortunately, that had only encouraged Virgil, and their father had to quiet him down. But Scott remembered her proud smile.

Virgil had been right. There were many stories and his brothers offered them to him when they could and slowly the woman who was his mother grew in his mind into a person rather than just a figure head.

There were still bad days. Days where Virgil would be found shivering on the lounge or silent on the balcony. But the difference was that now the blanket appeared and was wrapped around him with words, reassurance and understanding. All the brothers would gather and they would talk.

About Mom.

About Dad.

About each other.

Eventually Virgil would end up snoring on the couch, usually half on top of one brother or another. And they would all crash there, all silent support...well, all except for Alan, apparently. They all claimed he talked in his sleep. He still wasn’t convinced Gordon hadn’t fabricated the recording he claimed to belong to Alan and his slumber years.

So, it got better. Not perfect, because life never is, but easier.

Some days the flannel comes off, some days it doesn’t. But ultimately, it didn’t matter.

And if Scott froze solid the first time John led them all out onto the cliff that overlooked the caldera to show them the permanent hologram he had installed there, it was to be expected.

If Virgil’s hands flew to his mouth to muffle his reaction, John chose to ignore it.

But the grey flame that now flickered above the volcanic rock said everything.

Their brother had installed a plaque, just like the one on the mountain in Washington, but the words were different.

Jefferson and Lucille Tracy

The source of the flame

Forever burning in our hearts

You were the lightning

To our thunder.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #Scott Tracy #Alan Tracy #Gordon Tracy

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screamingsilence · 3 years

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Ramblings of a Very Lonely Nobody

Cliffsnots - Single Mom battling C-PTSD while taking care of her Mom and 3 kids desperately wanting to buy a home for family, yet crippled by student loan debt that allowed her to get a decent job after horrific divorce from extremely abusive husband who took everything including her ability to cope, form attachment, and relationships with other people - resulting in her continued detachment and self isolation. ((#ouch I wrote this part at the end - after the below - very accurate and well worded but sucks to read.))

I'm used to this. Desperately used to this. Quiet, silence, ringing in my ears. Obviously that was from way too many concerts. Don't get too excited though, I went to those alone. Or with a concert buddy that I met offline. I did this to myself. Years of terrible coping skills followed by years of disconnect and disassociation - have lead to fight or flight skills that should be taught in military combat schools. I could definitely teach young women every person Red Flags of relationships and the do's and dont's. I can also help anyone draft up an excellent escape plan if needed? What I cannot do is form attachments / relationships / connections - to anyone. I cannot develop safe spaces and spiritually healthy interpersonal connections with anyone.

From the inside looking out: everyone is a danger. Every word out of anyone's mouth is a way to hurt, manipulate, gaslight, damage, get the upper foot, belittle, betray, and/or save information to use against me and black mail me. -- Am I a bad person? Nope. Do I do things that are blackmail worthy? Nope.

I go to work, come home, play with my kids, help them with school work, attempt not to throw the 13 year old off a cliff (damn teenage years), cuddle the 11 year old (she's going through a stage where she is afraid of her own shadow - poor thing) and listen to the 8 year old talk, and talk, and talk -- (and talk - and talk - Autism, w/adhd and a day of online school = a lot of talking when I get home).Years of moving around as a child - Military Brat, followed by years of being cheated on, and then an extremely abusive marriage, and a drawn out divorce, and being forced to cooperant with my abuser ... I created a bubble. The bubble was to protect the kids and me. It worked - really well. I tried so hard to do everything to keep us safe. And in return, they have thrived, and I have not.

Aside from my work - which struggles on the social / popularity side. And lets face it - when you are a women in the workforce - you have to have the popular vote to get anywhere. Not just looks, but the popular vote. It really doesn't matter how well you work, how good your work ethic is, you must look good and be really sociable. So that part is a real struggle for me.

So, here I am. 1245 AM, lonely. About to be 33, absolutely NO friends. (Not even exaggerating anymore). I am a divorced, single woman with 3 children. I support my unwell mother, in one of the most expensive cities and once my savings run out out (hopefully I can stretch it another few months) we are looking at homelessness. But because I technically make "too much money" ((still less than 40k)) I don't qualify for anything. The degree of abuse and torture I have endured in my life puts me in a place were any sort of relationship for the sake of the kids / for the sake of owning a home / or a better rental or anything is out of the question. Every time I try to date - I panic. I can feel the strangulation all over again. I had EMDR - It really helped. I was able to function again. I was able to work and take care of my children again. I was able to recall the memory and not full on black out from the panic.

But, I am no closer now than I was back then to being able to be with anyone. And this is 10 years later. But sometimes I do wonder - If i could just suck it up - If i could just gather the courage and strength - or maybe there was a different medication I could be on - I could meet someone and make it to the point where we could be sort of happy and get a home? The kids --- I want to give them so much better than I had. After the divorce I knew I needed to do something to make sure they had a good life. I enrolled in college. But I was so young and didn't have any real role models. I was taken for the fool that I was. As I write this I am 89k in student loan debt. It really wont matter how much money I make. I wont ever be able to pay that back. Each year I do the repayment options and each year the gov't tells me I don't make enough money to pay them back. So they put me in the Income repayment bracket and I pay $0. Rumor has it, If I don't default on that for 30 years - My Loans will go away. So In 30 years I can buy a home. That hurts. So Much.

Make better choices, do better, stupid people get what they deserve, you chose this path, its what you wanted, you get what you deserve. I worked so hard when I was younger. I was so smart. I tried so hard to be everything. I had plans, I had it all mapped out.

When we were younger - I was asked to stop college to help my brother who had been accepted to an amazing University that my parents were having a hard time paying for. I had chosen to go to a local community college and was paying my way and was going to do the transfer program and that transfer program could have been full ride depending on my grades and grants etc. I quit school. I started working. So my parents could send that money to my brothers school. I had dropped out of highschool, gotten my GED and enrolled into college by 17. ((Military brat - credits didn't transfer and the new highschool was trying to consider me a freshmen. I was in college from 17-18. I was not having any of it).

By 18 I was working full time to help keep my brother in College. By 19 I was pregnant. by 20 I was pregnant with #2. By 21 I was married. My life spiraled so fast out of control. It took me years to get the logistics of it back on track. By 26 I had 2 college degrees. A good job field. By 28 I realized Something maybe was broken inside of me. By 29 it was more and more apparent but I was becoming really engaged in my kids and my work life. 30-31 I started to focus on my body and my work and my kids. Enter 32 // Covid / Work / Kids / less physical health. Here we are - 33 right around the corner. Crippling Student Loan debt. Zero Friends. 4 Humans Depending on me. I have a pill case. One of those AM/PM ones. People at work report me for RBF. (That one makes me laugh a little).

I just bared my soul to strangers on Tumblr. Is this not the epitome of lonely?

(Not suicidal)This is probably more cathartic than anything. Maybe?

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severalspoons · 4 years

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Liveblog: Rewatching Trigun, Episode 20

Surprise, this blog series continues! I have no intention of letting it end at episode 19. (I mean, that’s not even a nice round number!) While these aren’t liveblogs any more, they still give me an opportunity to discuss meta.

Life lesson learned: once you start a series of anything, do not stop until it’s finished--no matter what other projects come up, no matter how shiny they are, and no matter how much you’re dreading watching episode 23. Since I do my best work when feeling inspired, I hate to wait and let my enthusiasm for the new project cool, but jumping ship only ends in two unfinished projects instead of one.

This is going to be arranged by theme, not so much chronologically. Also, it ended up being more about Wolfwood than originally intended. Including a spoiler, so be careful.

Millie’s Transmitter

Millie reports that the Chief of Bernadelli gave her a transmitter/tracking device, which must be a rare, valuable piece of technology -- to prevent anyone from outwitting her. Meryl replies that this is nothing to brag about. I disagree.

First of all, the chief cares about her enough to entrust her with this bragworthy technology. She must have earned his trust and good opinion, also an achievement. He could easily punish or fire her, but instead gives her a tool to perform better. Countless people with learning disabilities dream of bosses like this.

People tend to take a harmful all-or-nothing attitude towards disabilities. Either PWD are incapable of doing things and nothing can be done about it, or they are capable of doing things, and shouldn’t need help. Since people with disabilities themselves live in society, they end up indoctrinated and taking the same attitudes towards themselves. Shame and self-hatred often result. People strive for years, often with therapy, to get to the matter of fact acceptance Millie shows here.

***

Vash in Hell

Everything is red, from the beginning. The sand, himself and his clothes, the sky. Knives comes into view, blurry and mostly in shadow, only one eye visible. What looks like meteors, probably chunks from the ships, fall through the sky like rain. We’re seeing from Vash’s point of view.

When waking Vash, Knives’ voice is normal, sounding like a real child. It doesn’t change to his growly evil voice until Vash accuses him of being a murderer. Then, his eye loses its pupil, and he suddenly appears to have fangs. He looks like he’s become some sort of monster. Not human, as Vash says.

Knives beats him up for even daring to compare him to a human. What hurts the most about this is you know it’ll be a long time, and probably many more such beatings, before Vash leaves.

Was it ever possible to take care of Knives? Was Rem’s last request reasonable?

Vash announces he’s finally ready to face Knives. What impresses me most: he’s finally making a significant decision for himself.

***

Meet the Folks

How is Vash more attractive in normal clothes than his signature coat, even in scenes showing only his face? Speaking of which, this episode is full of beautiful shots of Vash’s face. Wolfwood’s, too.

How the hell did Wolfwood get here? He said he was concerned about Vash crying then jumping off a cliff, and followed him. However, he seems to have climbed up from below. How would he have found a floating platform? Certainly, none is visible below him. And since he seems to know nothing about the flying ship, he can’t have taken Vash’s strategy and jumped onto a platform at just the right time.

“Come meet the folks!” Yes, they actually do have a summer cottage in the sky. Ever wonder why Vash’s head is always in the clouds? ;)

Wolfwood actually says “I’m getting sick of your lies.” Hypocritical much?

Wolfwood is the first guest Vash has brought “home” in over 20 years (in other words, since he became The Stampede)!

Does that mean that the whole time Vash has been on the run, he hasn’t visited the SEEDS ship (probably to prevent anyone tracking him from discovering it)? Vash could have simply hid out for the last 20 years in the SEEDS ship; it’s his home, after all. Instead, he chose to go out and protect people from Knives, and each other. (How many of us would have made the same choice?)

***

Inside Legato’s Lair

What does this informant know about Chapel’s duties? From the way Legato dismisses his concerns, it seems like Knives’ followers aren’t given much information about each other.

Wolfwood is now doomed. “You’re such a fool. Had you behaved, you might have lived to see Doomsday. But I’m pleased, for I now have the opportunity to carry out another of my master’s wishes.”

A surprisingly restrained evil chuckle from Legato. Thank you for sparing us a full-on villain laugh.

How does Legato get shoulder padding that sticks out that far? Each shoulder is almost twice as big as his head.

***

A Series of Awkward Events

The ship has a whole observation team. No one should be able to get up here without the SEEDS leaders knowing, right? Right? ...

The old man tells Brad Vash has changed over the years. How?

After all this buildup, Brad opens the door, letting in blinding light, and this is what he sees:

The legend acting like an idiot and getting his butt kicked. Very dignified.

This is Brad’s reaction:

“Is that your great legend?! Huh?!” “What a relief! He hasn’t changed at all.” (A relief? What were they afraid would have happened to him?)

Brad is not amused by Wolfwood’s touchy-feely ways.

“Who’s he?” Vash, looking embarrassed: “I’m not sure.” Fair enough, but not very helpful, and Wolfwood doesn’t elaborate. We already know and love Vash’s embarrassed grin, but I can’t get over Wolfwood’s almost sinister smile in the mirror.

A cute moment where Vash looks back like, “isn’t my place great?” and Wolfwood just gapes like an idiot. (Close your mouth, my dude. Flies are gonna get in).

Vash last visited about 20 years ago, and Jessica was a small child then, so she should be about 23 or 24. However, she looks and acts like a teenager. Vash inadvertently becomes part of an unwanted love triangle.

To his credit, Vash tries to put her off, in a joking way (”I have a reputation for being easy but even I need a bit of advance warning”). Wolfwood makes the whole situation worse by teasing Vash about his “girlfriend” in front of a fuming Brad. It’s as if he were going out of his way to antagonize the people on the ship.

When Vash actually has a chance to look at Jessica’s face, he remembers her. Think about that. He may only have met her once, it’s been 20 years, and he still recognizes her and remembers her name. How many other people does he remember from the past ~130 years? This is how he uses his powerful plant brain--Knives would view it as a waste.

Jessica cooks a feast for Vash, which, tragically, he won’t get to enjoy. How did she cook all this food so fast? It’s enough to feed the whole ship.

***

Wolfwood is mistrusted for the wrong reasons

Wolfwood actually takes off his shades and armor of acting like a jerk while introducing himself to Jessica. This is unusually open and vulnerable of him. He actually is trying to behave. But Brad, worried about “a bunch of outsiders” bringing war to their flying paradise, hits him where it hurts.

...Did I mention Wolfwood has beautiful eyes?

Anyway, everyone gathers around staring at Wolfwood from a distance, while he drops cigarettes on the ground. There’s an entire pile lying at his feet. The whole scene is the definition of passive aggressive.

What seems to anger Wolfwood is not so much how they treat him personally, but their denial combined with moral superiority. Not to push a metaphor too far, but these folks are able to take the moral high horse because their literal high position keeps them safe. Yet, they use this immense privilege not to help the world below, or to prepare for the ship’s inevitable fall, but to hide in their castle in the sky. It clicks for me that Wolfwood probably feels about running away the way Vash does about suicide (think back to episode 11).

The SEEDS dwellers do not seem to understand that Wolfwood is both trying to help them and a little resentful of what they have. To them, he is everything they’ve been taught to fear and hate, up here poisoning Paradise for them with his unpleasant ideas. Of course this sort of dynamic never happens in real life.

Also, keep in mind that none of them know anything about the people below directly, only from hearsay. They’re not wrong about Gunsmoke as a whole, but they treat Wolfwood like a monster rather than a person. That also never happens in real life.

Then he gets to the scene of a crime too late--but just in time to look like the one responsible. Although the ship dwellers would love to see him dead, he leaps to defend them against his own colleague. Knowing, perhaps, that doing this would confirm he switched sides, and his own days might be numbered. He doesn’t even pause to think, he just goes, the same way he did when the child went missing in episode 9.

***

Vash Will Save The Day

“Like you care. Five years is probably like a blink of the eye to you anyway.” Vash denies it, but the second part is probably true. He looks so surprised to hear it’s been five years.

It can’t be easy for Vash to admit that he was responsible for the “Fifth Moon Incident,” and is probably more dangerous than Knives. Once again, his only argument is “please.” But there’s no buffoonery or melodrama here. He’s dead serious, and that’s more convincing.

Wolfwood tries to stop Leonoff from saying his name. No one who would understand the significance or matters to him is present, just Brad and Jessica. Is he merely afraid others will hear? Does he still consider himself to be Chapel?

Even facing Leonoff, Wolfwood still hasn’t put his shades back on.

Now imagine if Vash managed to find ways out of no-win situations and save the day without all the whining and crying.

Wolfwood can pause and wait for once, having faith that Vash will show up. He knows there’s always a third option for Vash. He does not yet see any for himself. Still, progress nonetheless.

***

Unfortunately for me, Vash is back with his red coat in Vash the Stampede mode, yellow glasses hiding his face.

OK, I can see how Leonoff’s puppets get into the ship without being noticed, but how on Earth did the big guy even get here?

#liveblog #liveblogging #trigun anime #trigun #millie thompson #meryl stryfe #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #seeds ship #legato bluesummers #gung ho guns #leonoff the puppet master #character analysis #meta #brad and jessica #love and peace #ethics #faith

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theyearoftheking · 3 years

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Book Seventy-Two: The Bazaar of Bad Dreams

I’ve made some things for you, Constant Reader; you see them laid out before you in the moonlight. But before you look at the little handcrafted treasures I have for sale, let’s talk about them for a bit, shall we? It won’t take long. Here, sit down beside me. And do come a little closer. I don’t bite. Except... we’ve known each other for a very long time, and I suspect you know that’s not entirely true. Is it?

I first read this book back in 2016, but some of these stories made quite an impact. I’m looking at you, The Dune, Morality, and Ur. Personally, I find this the most memorable collection of short stories... even the ones that haven’t been on my mind for the past five years, I remembered them as soon as I was a few paragraphs in. Like all collections, there were some I preferred over others, but there were more hits than not in Bazaar.

And there were a ton of nods to the Constant Reader universe:

A Locke & Key comic reference (Maybe not the Constant Reader universe, but definitely adjacent. And if you haven’t read these graphic novels- please drop everything you’re doing, and get your hands on a copy).

Christine (still at the bottom of my list)

Castle Rock

Dark Tower/Low Men in Yellow Coats/Red eye pin

Nozzy soda (I’m assuming this Nozz-A-La)

Andy Clutterbuck (Sheriff from Castle Rock)

Gunslinger

And Steve must have been feeling particularly cheesy, because there were 4 Wisconsin mentions! My personal favorite is the line, “...but Hubie’s on a fishing trip somewhere in Rectal Thermometer, Wisconsin...”

Now.

I’ve never been to Rectal Thermometer, but it sounds lovely. I bet it’s somewhere in Burnett or Washburn counties. Fishing there would be a real delight. Disclaimer: in no world to I find fishing to be a delight... regular fishing, or ice fishing, which is just a slightly deeper circle of hell. I have horrible memories of ice fishing as a kid, and stepping into a hole more than once, soaking my boot and socks. Fucking ice fishing. But I digress.

I’ll highlight just a few stories in this collection, the first one being Herman Wouk is Still Alive. Brenda wins $2,700 off a lottery ticket, and calls her friend Jasmine, and convinces her to pack up her kids and go on a road trip. They’ll use the winnings to rent a swanky van, stay overnight in a hotel so their kids can play in the pool, and indulge in some take-out on their way to visit family. Jasmine reluctantly agrees, and the two of them pack up their seven kids. On the drive, Brenda and Jasmine share some coffee brandy, talk about how shitty their lives are, and how it doesn’t look like things are ever going to get better. Brenda takes a look in the backseat and worries about what kind of life their kids are going to have. Annnnd then she jams her foot on the gas, gets the van up to one-hundred miles per hour, and crashes the van head-on into a tree, killing all of them.

Some events have transpired since the first time I read this story and now. Namely, the murder-suicide of the Hart family.

I am equally disgusted, heart-broken, and fascinated by this horrible story. Jen and Sara Hart were being investigated by CPS after allegations of abuse and withholding food from their six children surfaced; and they fled their home. They drugged their kids with cough syrup, and drove off a cliff, killing everyone. This is a rabbit hole I can’t stop going down, and there’s so much to explore. If you want to join me in the rabbit hole, check out the Broken Harts podcast. Sometimes the scariest monsters are walking among us, disguised as white savior women.

The second story I really loved was Under the Weather, which was a grittier version of A Rose for Emily. I don’t particularly love Faulkner (blasphemy for an English major, I know)- but Under the Weather was delicious in it’s depravity. Having read it a second time, I knew what the plot twist was, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable.

The final story I really enjoyed was Ur. The story is quaint in that it was set in a time when digital readers and Kindle apps on phones were not as common as they are now. Amazon actually reached out to Steve to have him write a story about a Kindle, and it’s so perfectly Steve. I mean... where else would you encounter a Kindle that connects to alternate timelines, full of stories authors in this timeline never published, and the Low Men need to come and confiscate it? It’s got some fun Dark Tower Easter eggs, and makes you wonder if traditional books might just be safer after all.

Speaking of which, my Kindle Fire decided to stop downloading books. It still performs every other function just fine, but won’t download anything I purchase off the Kindle store. So, I found a great deal on a Paperwhite, and bought one. Y’all... I hate it. The only advantage to the Paperwhite is the only thing I can do on it is read. I’m not distracted by emails or Facebook messages. But I hate the screen resolution, I hate how slow it moves, I hate that it will accidentally flip four pages at a time... I don’t love it. Maybe this challenge has spoiled me in that I really do love real books after all.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 46

Total Dark Tower References: 68

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

Doctor Sleep: A+

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

11/22/63: A+

Mr. Mercedes: A+

Under the Dome: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Full Dark, No Stars: A+

The Bazaar of Bad Dreams: A+

Just After Sunset: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

Stephen King Goes to the Movies: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Duma Key: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

The Dark Tower: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Blaze: B+

Hard Listening: B+

Revival: B+

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Joyland: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

Wolves of the Calla: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Song of Susannah: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

From a Buick 8: B

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

The Colorado Kid: B-

Storm of the Century: B-

Everything’s Eventual: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

The Wind Through the Keyhole: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Cell: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Faithful: D

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Lisey’s Story: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers D

Next up is Finders Keepers, the second book in the Bill Hodge’s trilogy. I finished it this morning because there’s a blizzard outside, and I refuse to leave my house to go to work. Ah, the joys of Midwest living. Maybe I’m in Rectal Thermometer, Wisconsin after all.

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights, Rebecca

#bazaar of bad dreams #stephen king #constant readers #dark tower #castle rock #a rose for emily #the hart family #jen and sara hart #ice fishing #wisconsin #kindle

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Reviewcaps: Mega Man: Fully Charged (BOOM!) #1

After 5 long years the Blue Bomber returns to comics and to the Fully Charged Universe! Things get a lot more grim as Aki grapples with a new robot army under actual robots, his buried past, and the fact Mega Mini is still around for some reason. Cracked skulls and dead cells under the cut.

So i’m a huge mega man fan. I haven’t really talked about video games here because this is my first video game adaptation, but yeah, I love em and Capcom’s vast and awesome franchise of robots and humanoids in blue, and in one case red, is one of my faviorites. From children blowing up tons of robots from a balding man who dosen’t get the hint already, to the pacifist soldier forced to fight in a war against robot whales, buffalo, mammoths, and other bizzare robot animals, to his best friend who has amnesia for some reason fighting more robot animals because capcom ran out, to his human sucessors wearing him like a hat, to some guy who turns out to be a war machine I haven’t played yet because I haven’t gotten the chance to and is the only part of the franchise I haven’t, to another universe where he’s the ai versoin of a dead child whose now a teenager mentally, to that ai’s sucessor a shy child whose dad was kidnapped by a space monster and fuses reguarly with a much cooler space monster. What i’m saying Is I deeply love this franchise, this franchise is complicated iwth all the branches, and it’s also full of lovely nonsense.

So naturally with that many versions and a decades long history Mega Man’s had a healthy life in one of my other faviorite meddieums: Comics. Over in his home country of Japan Mega Man’s had tons of Manga: The biggest and one of the few to make it here is Mega Man Megamix, a bunch of stories that, after the first two adapted the first two games in their own rough way, took place after each of the various games, and is pretty damn good. Others off the top of my head include a Mega Man x adaptation where X dates a mermaid, a weird mega man zero adaptation, and a longrunning adaptation of Mega Man Battle Network, all ones I need to read.

Even Brazil had a Mega Man Manga... which I need to cover too.. less because it’s actually good or notable, and more because it’s BATSHIT INSANE, and you can read about it here. But the cliffs notes: Roll is an adult woman who goes around naked half hte time and is the most importnat character, X is master roshi with all the restraint and panty snatching that implies, and ther’es a character that one writer tried to have kill everyone and take over the comic.. yes really. I go most of this .l from that page but it’s documented on various wikis that this did actually happen. Just.. why. All of it. Meanwhile in the US.. we didn’t get that many. No nintendo power adaptations despite being a huge franchise, no horrible malibu comics like street fighter got. There was one attempt by Dreamwave comics in the early 2000′s a series that only lasted 5 issues, and had mega man trying to go to school and some intresting if loose takes ont he franchise.. but the company bottomed out due to horirble mismanagment soon after and mega man sat ont he shelf for a while until the early 2010′s. At a time when Capcom had given up on the franchise, which has thankfully changed dramatically with the release of 11 and the various mega collections, they still gave the liscence to Archie comics, who, wanting some more of that sweet money they were getting off of sonic, gladly took the lisence and gave it to Sonic Scribe and easily the best one the comic had during it’s long run, Ian Flynn, who set about adapting mega man from day 1, while incorperating nods and call forwards to the various other versions of the blue bomber, and adding his own nice touches. What i’ve read is really damn good and it’s a shame it got cut off right before the adaptation for mega man 4. I’m only being so brief as .. I intend to cover it like i’ve been saying. I love the character, Flynn’s comic was one of the best versions of him bar none, and I could use more comics content on here too. It’s a win win, smiles all around. But yeah sadly Archie lost intrest in doing non-Archie stuff, with the Archie Horror Line proving a sucess and a reboot on the horizon. While I do LOVE Archie Comics, this edotiral decision still leaves a bad taste in my mouth and left fans without any mega man till 11 came out and any comics till this year, when the rights apparently lapsed and Boom! Studios, home of such great comics as the mighty morphing power rangers ongoing and JOhn Allison’s wonderful Giant Days, swept it up. Hopefully Boom! will reprint the archie comics eventually, but until then they decided to do a softish reboot of another version of the franchise, another one that like Archie had been given a raw deal.. but unlike Archie had issues: Mega Man; Fully Charged

While most of you probably know this as a refrsher Mega Man: Fully Charged was a cartoon from a few years back, a CGI adatpation of the games in an attempt to get in on that market by Ben 10 and Generator Rex maestro’s Man of Action. Like the Dreamwave comics it followed Mega Man, now Aki LIght as he went to school, did school stuff, and also fought rouge robots after school with secret powers he unlocked before the pilot and were never elaborated on in show. The show kept Dr. Light, Mega Man’s creator and dad, and his dog Rush who while at first looking nothing like the games was later upgraded to resemble his game counterpart more from what i’ve heard and what’s present in this comic. Replacing Mega’s sister Roll, as his real name was Rock because the Mega Man staff loved musical puns, was Suna.. whos basically the same character but human and with an entirely diffrent design. The show also, for whatever fucking reason, added... Mega Mini.. a tiny robot with a brooklyn accent who lived inside Aki, Mega Man’s regular name in this series which i’m fine with as while I do lik ehim going by Rock, I get that’s not really a name. Mini also manages his powers, makes stupid jokes and makes me pray for death but death won’t come. As you can tell I hate the little bugger from the handful of episodes i’ve watched. Rounding out our main heroes is Aki’s best friend Bert Wily, whose likely related to the canon wily and is your standard dorky best friend, but his roll as an inventor does come in handy since Mega hasn’t told his dad he’s a superhero, though it’s revealed in the end that he knows.. I did do my homework, even if i’ve only seen a handful of the series. More on that in a minute. Opposing Mega Man were various robots from the games, adapted with varying degrees of design, from the good.

To the okay if a bit weird.

To the how the fuck is this airman. This is airman

Really good basic design. This is what fully charged calls airman,

Why.. why not just make him Wind Man. He looks more like Wind Man.. why did ... I can bitch about this later when I cover the series, which, yes AGAIN I intend to. BUt seriously he has an awesome looking fan for a face. How do you screw that up.

Behind the robot masters was Sgt. Night. See in a nice twist, and one of the things I like about the series, the world of Fully Charaged already had the kind of robot on human war that would plauge the main mega man timeline for centuries in the backstory, with LIght and Night being vetrans. Night being a racisit moron, wanted to keep robots apart and set up a false flag operation do do so as Commander Night. He however.. wasn’t a compelling vilian and apparnetly dosen’t really get better, not having any depth to his operations or actoins and his basic plan turns out to be, thank you research, to wipe all robots minds to be subservient.. he’s just.. bland compared to wily who while not complex in his motives, he just wants to take over the world, still has style and in some cases,real thought to his plans. Sure the vast majority are “blame it on someone else” but in a LOT of those cases, there’s still thorught and effort put into who he’s blaming to take doubt away from him. IN universe at least. Helping night, is Namagem... yes Mega Man..spelled backwards and this series protoman, but hte character suprisingly DOES sound intresting... he just has one of the worst names in human history. Like my god, in god we trust why not just use proto man. the Character is basically proto man, with the interesting backstory of night kidnapping him, and apparently the series gets loads better once he arrives, so i’m not going to be too hard on the name, as the writers were likely stuck with it. But as i’ve made apparent.. I haven’t watched much of the series. I do want to watch it all and i’m aware the second half is much better, but when trying to binge watch it at a friends house I only got about halfway through season 1, and then just forgot to keep going. And the series does have good pieces: a compelling background of a brutal war, mysteries to unlock, and a steady supply of new villians via the games long history and the series own original, and honestly intresting sounding and looking, robot masters... but it stapled all this to a “cocky hero fights vilians” every week setup we’ve seen a million times and didn’t grab me, but the intresting worldbuildnig and original bits do have me wanting to give it another try so look forward to that. And with all the intresting bits i was truly invested to see a comic make more out of this part of the franchise,a nd was utterly excited, as it could be what the series could’ve been with less hampering by the various parties involved, as fully charged felt like it had a lot of executive madates slapped on. So free of those and free to be whatever it wants with Joe Kelly advising, what has fully charged become? let’s take a look.

We Open 6 months after the series with the comic helpfully catching us via news broadcast.. and the art being moody with washed out colors the tone having done a 180. Seriously it is kind of weird for this unvierse to go from early generator rex, a dark backstory with a bizzarely cheery tone to full on Blade Runner or to put it in mega man terms, The Megas. Seriously the breif bit of silicon city we see , the constant rain as a mysteroius figure whose revealed at the end of the next page to be Namagem.. I expect that a pretty hologram in a raincoat is going to pop up next to him any moment... what I can pick which blade runner I want to refrence. Shoo.

Anyways a broadcast debate between a human reporter and her robot coanchor , ron roburgundy as I will call him, fills us in on exposition, while Mega Man himself narrators like this is a noir.. again i’m half expecting harrison ford to show up. Aki muses about how the city, HIS CITY, almost fell.. oh god is frank miller writing this? Are we going to get a middle schooler talking about how much he wants to make love to a city because no one wants that. Anyways, we get expostion, both for anyone who hadn’t watched the series to give us the cliff notes, and to also catch up returning fans on what they missed. I like it, despite not having watched fully charged to the end, or known exactly what happened until research, this fills it in nicely: At the end of season 1, as I explained earlier Night was arrested, and is thankfully not a part of it nor is his foghorn leghorn attempt at a southren accent. However the remaning Robot Masters are still rioting and a new army of them has started a legit revolution, vandalizing the good guild, which still has that name for some reason despite the tone shift, who are about as compitent as the name implies. Here’s file footage of them fighting Pharoah Man.

Anyways Dr. Light is going to negotiate peace and as I mentoned earlier nams is watching with a glare on his face. And yeah I .. I can’t keep calling him Namagem. That name is just bad and whoever came up with it is one of the biggest morons in marketing history as is whoever decided to force the poor creative team to use it. However while he is Protoman in ways.. it just dosen’t fit. The two were made together in this unvierse, maybe we’ll see as this comic fills in the blanks, and furthermore he’s a bit of protoman and bass.. and since protobass sounds stupid, and blues dosen’t work without the theme naming.. i’m going with Breakman, protoman’s disgusie from 3. With the heavy scaring, broken past and general state of him it just.. fits and HOPEFULLY the comic will give him a full on rename. If it does i’ll go with that but for now I just want to keep from slamming my head into a keyboard every time I have to type out NAMAGEM... excuse me.

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That’s better. Okay so moving on from my new headache, we cut to the desert where the good guild, which is somehow even worse than Breakman’s actual name, are escorting light to a bunker in the desert, where the robots outside tell light to leave the good guild inside. Just as well he’d be better protected with a paper mache sword anda note telling them to go away.

Naturally, not long inside the robot masters leader forces light to bow and handcuffs him, before revealing himself.

Skull Man. Who looks really badass in this thought, the skulls themed scrap throne, his regal posture and his speeches about how he feels that the only way things will be right, and settled is not by the fragile peace silicon city has but by humans beneath his rather sizable boots. And honestly.. he was a good choice for the main robot antagonist: Skull Man’s always had a cool look to him and most versions of him have been pretty cool, and the Megas gave him one hell of a theme song. If you haven’t heard of htem the Megas are an indie rock band that do reworkings of the various songs from mega man games, at the time of this recording a full album for 2, two full albums for 3, an ep for 1, and scattered other songs since the second 3 album, with plans to do their next full album on mega man x. Each of the stage themes for the robot masters is from the prosepctive of one of them and are really damn good and I’d recommend thema nd skullman’s.. really fits him here. take a listen.

youtube

But yeah Skull Man feels like a good choice for a menacing revolutionary, as well as a former combat robot as he himself was apparently in the hard wars. He honestly reminds me a lot of more than meets the eye megatron in flashbacks.. just good stuff. But being in the wars, he’s naturally not too fond of repetant vetran light and plans to kill him as an example. Light however.. isn’t an idiot.. a good man who seeks to do his best, who came in good faith.. but just in case he put some sort of device under his skin and presses it, signaling his son to come save his ass. And thus he does come ...

And one of skullman’s minons mistakes him for a bomb.. which light clarifies i’ts a BLUE BOMBER. To skullman’s credit his response is to just order them to go full throttle showing no panic as Mega Man makes his entrance.

Light thanks him by.. asking what took him so long.. when his son, whose a middle schooler mind you, had to fight through a bunch of armed assholes to get in here most likely. Mini shows up to my annoyance.. though credit where it’s do his zinger of what took so long “some birds, a plane, some guy in a cape” is actually.. really funny. I question why they kept him at ALL, but hey, at least he’s less grating and isn’t around long.. more on that in a minute.

A really well drawn action scene insues.. while the expressions vary for this comic, I will give the fight scnee, I will give the artist credit for having fluid motion and nice pops of color, most things are kind of blendy into the background other than major character but the color pops where it should.. not exactly my style but it works okay. In a nice change of his character though, Aki offers to spare the various robots there of a fight and possible death, as while he already attacked them it was in self defense. And while it is a 180 from the show.. it’s not only a welcome change as it’s closer to the games canon and a more intersting personality.. it also still works. Aki went through a LOT at the end of season 1: while he did win, he found out he had a brother, his dad knew who he was but was never honest with him about it and also likely knows where his power came from but hasn’t told him, and has had to deal with 6 months worth of rioting where he’s unsure what side he’s on, machine like he is or man like his family. He’s trying to find the right ballance; be the hero his city needs.. but be the man he needs to be, one who will spare his enemies and won’t fight unless he needs to, for the good fo everyone, His friends, his family, everyone in the city who deserves to sleep soundly. And he’s also starting to wonder, via narration of course, if he’s a hero.. or even a kid.. or a weapon> Which again while a bit of a shift from the series again makes sense: he’s a middle school aged boy who started this jsut fighting random assholes and some idiot racist who was transparently evil and had selfish goals.. now he’s fighting against a revolution who MIGHT have a point. While Silcion city seemd fine and equal.. there wer eplenty of idiot swilling to listen to night. As the real world has proven over the last few months, just because things have gotten better, dosen’t mean that things are 100% or that prejudice is just gone. He’s a 12 year old asked to take a stand in a messy conflict that lead to war in the past with his father offering no answers and growing colder. While I thought his angst was bit overblown on first reading the more I think about it the more it fits.

Anyways Mega makes short work of the skull squad after they refuse to back down, but while Mega Man’s ready to ghost.. Skull Man’s not done and drills into mega man’s head... and reveals something. Flashbacks.

But yeah, Skull Man’s either implanted or restored some memory of Aki fighting in the hard wars.. right alongside dr. light.. with a drill because science. DR. Light then gets REALLY badass, breaking out of the robot restraining him’s grip before fucking UPERCUTTING Skull Man.. jesus christ, Dr.Light clearly traded his empathy for miraclo pills holy balls. Rush helps him escape and take Aki with him but skull man’s confident, he lost the battle but won Mega’s mind. On the way home Mega Man tells dr.light what he saw and isn’t sure if it’s the past the future or something else but Dr.Light assures him..

Even though his eyes give away he’s clearly hiding something. Also I haven’t mentioned it yet but Dr.Light looks like santa in this sisue, red shirt, blue pants, big white beard. Just.. why though. Just put him in a suit or something. Also Mini crawls out of Mega’s head and passes out due to the memory restoration.. a nice way to write him out while still giving it weight since while the audience is presumibly cheering his long overdue demise, he is aki’s friend.. why I have no idea but he is. Back at the lighthouse, the light’s home and home base, which is admitely a really good alternate name for light labs and a better one in my opinon. Light brushes off Suna, telling her to go to bed and avoiding telling her anything. Yeahhh.. while it could be the pressure of the situation I really dont’ like dr.light’s characterization before. Fully Charged, outside of the whole secret identity thing which at least was expalined as Aki not knowing if his dad would let him continue as mega man if he knew, though it extended clearly past the point he was clearly supporting mega man’s actions so I dunno. But he was a compationste scientest, deeply ashamed of his past in the war and wanting to make peace, he was done really well and peformed well by gary chalk. Here? He’s a dick who clearly did something terrible in the past and treats his kids like crap. It’s okay to be suspcious of him given the flashback but he’s given us no reason to like him or want to hear his side eventually, and hopefully that changes.

Suna talks to Aki who tells her what happened and both side give out good arguments; Suna points out she reallyc an’t trust what some creepy asshole put in his head, as Skull Man could just want to brainwash him.. but Aki counters easily and quietly: How’s he supposed to know what’s real if his dad won’t tell him anything? He took months to tell Aki he knew about his alter ego, and even before his id came out avoided talking about the hard war, which hasn’t changed. He vows to find out though, and Suna naturally is helpful, pointing out there’s more people to ask and since she actually pays attention in school she knwos just who.. Dr. Wily. Yup he’s finally here. dun dun dun. We then close as Breakman watches and tells his brother he can’t stop what’s started. And we’re out. Mega Final Thoughts: This was a decent issue, doing a fair job of bringing in new readers, and the art was decent and matched the tone.. which If elt was a bit too bleak at times. Better than say a Zack Snyder film at least, but still a bit too close to that form of edgelord for my case. That said it opens up some intresting mysteries and has me at least willing to give it another shot next month and was a solid opener, which while not having the best charcterzation for dr light, vastly improved Aki and Suna’s while giving us a far more intersting villian in Skull Man. If this holds, we’ll see. But until then I plan to cover more mega man comics, as well as my continued weekly coverage of amphibia. Until I see you again, stay safe, wear a mask and later days

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dailyaudiobible · 3 years

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11/26/2020 DAB Transcript

Daniel 2:24-3:30, 1 Peter 4:7-5:14, Psalms 119:81-96, Proverbs 28:15-16

Today is the 26th day of November welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is great to be here with you. It's great to be here with you any day and every day, and today it’s great to be here with you. Happy Thanksgiving to those of you here in the United States but happy Thanksgiving to everybody of those of you anywhere in the world. Happy Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving Day, which is a national holiday here in the United States where we…where we…we give thanks and practice gratitude. And today also happens to be my daughter China's birthday. So, happy birthday China. She…she won't be having another birthday before becoming a mother as we all know. And I think we’re all pretty excited about that, but happy birthday China. So, it is great to be here with you today and we gather here every day for one particular purpose, and that is to allow God's word to just wash over us and speak to us. And, so, let's dive in. We’re reading from the New International Version this week. We began the book of Daniel yesterday and we talked about that. And we talked about how it's…it’s got kind of a front half and a back half. It's not like split down the middle or anything. There's not like a part one or a part two, but the first part of the story is the story of Daniel. And, so, we learned about Daniel being exiled and then King Nebuchadnezzar having a dream that he was demanding that his…his wise people interpret. The catch was the king wasn't willing to tell what the dream was. Like in order to know that his…his wise people were actually wise people turned…turned into…tuned into the spiritual world he wanted them to tell him what he dreamed and then tell him what the interpretation of the dream was. And there was a back and forth about that until the king decided to kill all the wise people, which was going to kill Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And, so, they went to prayer and God has given the answer. And as we begin our reading today Daniel will go before the king. Daniel chapter 2 verse 24 through 3 verse 30 today.

Prayer:

Thank You, Father for Your word. And on this day that, at least all around me, it is a day aimed at gratitude, a day of giving thanks, a day of understanding that without Your hand before us no path is getting cleared, we’re just moving in circles. And, so, we offer thanksgiving. We are giving You thanks for Your presence in our lives, for Your kindness, for Your care, for Your compassion, for Your goodness. We thank You. And we thank You for such a wonderful unspeakable gift, the gift of each other, that You have given us each other. And we make a mess of that and we often don't see it has a gift, but at its core if we can get over ourselves, if we can get beyond our own egos and desires and cravings and demands, underneath it all, it would be horrible to be on this planet alone, it would be so lonely. You have given us each other and we are thankful for that gift. And since…since China's birthday falls on Thanksgiving, we thank You for her and all that her life has meant and represented not only in our own family, but all around the world. We thank You for that. Come Holy Spirit today as we…as we try to live into gratitude and thanks. Lead our steps, lead our words, lead our deeds, lead our thoughts we pray. In Jesus name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it is the websites, it’s where you find out what's going on around here. And, so…so, check out. Be aware of what's going on around here.

Be a regular at the Prayer Wall. There are so many needs, so many things to pray for and it’s such an opportunity to reach outward and just shoulder one another's burdens together letting each other know that we’re not alone. We’re not alone. We’re moving to life together. So be aware of that and check it out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well and a heart full of gratitude on a day of Thanksgiving is all I can say. Thank you with all of my heart. Thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that is your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement 877-942-4253 is the number to dial or you can hit the hotline button in the app, it’s the red button up at the top, you can’t miss it, and you can share from there no matter where you are in the world.

And that's it for today but happy Thanksgiving everybody. Even if you’re not here in the United States have a happy Thanksgiving there’s never a wrong time to have a heart of gratitude and a thankful posture. So, happy Thanksgiving. That is it for today. I’m Brian I love you I'm thankful for you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi this is Saved by His Grace and Happy Valley. I’m calling in for Duane from Wisconsin who has been so faithful as long as I can remember, calling in and first of all giving praise to God the Father and then Duane prays specifically for sons and daughters that we have called in worrying about. And now he needs us. His son Nicholas is getting out of jail and needs a place to stay. Duane isn’t sure he’ll be able to stay with him and his wife. And, so, family please join me in prayer. Dear heavenly Father I know You love Your child Duane from Wisconsin. He is so faithful to You and he has been so faithful in praying for the sons and daughters of so many and his own sons are in crisis. Please, please look down on him and act in his behalf and on behalf of his son Nicholas and his other son, I can’t think of his name, but I know You know it and Duane knows it. Please bless this family. Let them feel Your peace. Let them know that even a sparrow doesn’t fall to the ground without You noticing and You will surely lift up Duane and his family and the sons.

Hey guys this is Sonny from Florida and I just wanted to call in for Asherah, Sheer Joy in Alabama. I just want to pray for her in regards to, yeah, just the loneliness that she’s facing. Father God I want to pay for Asherah Sheer Joy. I just pray that she would not feel alone in Alabama. I pray that she would have godly brothers and sisters in Christ to make her feel at home, make her feel that she has a family because she does Lord. She has a family in Christ. So Lord I just pray that You would provide the people in her life to help her in her walk and make her feel loved and known and that she might as a result just turn to You Lord more and more and just see how good You are and how much You are always there for her and I pray that in Jesus name. And I also want to lift up mama bear from Southern California, her brother who has stage IV stomach cancer. Father God I just pray for her brother, I pray for healing Lord. I pray for a miraculous healing. Lord You’re willing and able. You can and You want to. Lord You’re a God of healing. So, Father, God I pray for a miraculous healing and her brother stomach. I pray that the cancer will be gone, and I pray that he would come to know You as a result and that just many people come to know You that Your name will be glorified. God, we pray we pray in faith that she would heal because You can and You’re willing Lord and I pray that in the authority of the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. Hey guys just an update. My wife Amanda is doing well with her chemo and we pray that she just continues to do well as she continues chemo. Thank you, guys. I love you. Bye.

Hello everyone, this is Candace from Oregon. I want you to join me please, please and prayers right now for our beloved Duane from Wisconsin. Dear Lord, thank you so much for Duane from Wisconsin who has prayed over us time and again so faithfully and believed for us. And we want to do the same back for him Lord. It sounds like it was quite the surprise that his son has been released and…from…from incarceration and will need…need to…well he’s asked if he can live with…with Duane and his wife. So, Lord give them incredible insight, wisdom and ability to support and uphold their son in all the right ways and none of the long mornings. Lord, we need wisdom that really only you have. Would you give Duane and his wife unconditional love, unbelievable wisdom and strength and creativity and patience? And I pray that their son would have a new life and a new way forward found in Jesus Christ. And we ask all of this in Jesus’ name.

My wife Kate from St. Simons Allen Georgia has been bed bound for three months with 24 seven nausea dizziness and fainting. Many tests have not revealed any answers. I’m asking for prayers for healing and comfort for her and strength for her spirit. She has been a follower of DAB since the beginning. Thank you.

Hello Daily Audio Bible friends this is Valerie from Cape Spring Arkansas and I had called in on October concerning my 36-year-old son, the one in respiratory therapy school who is very suicidal and doesn’t feel like life is worth living. Anyway, my prayer request was played October 19th and, you know, he did so much better after that. You know, I was just so thrilled but now he’s really having trouble again and he is just not doing well at all. He’s talking about jumping off a cliff or just going out in the woods and killing himself and making everyone think he’s missing. And he talks about this all the time and you mothers out there that put up with this, you know how heart wrenching this is for a mom. So, I would appreciate your prayers too as his mother. And I thank you for all your prayers for him. I know there’s hope for him at the end of the tunnel. Thank you all so much. And I appreciate the Daily Audio Bible so much. It’s just helped me tremendously with my life.

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imacrowcawcaw · 4 years

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Tagged by @beautifulcinephile @satans-helper @therealswanqueen @shes-outta-sight @mountainofthesunn thank you!!!!

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? Hot pink and black

2. What is a food you never eat? Beans and mushrooms eughhh

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Too warm, it's why I wear skirts, flip flops, and tank tops all year round lol

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Uhh eating chocolate pudding I think

5. What is your favorite candy bar? Reeses or twix

6. Have you ever been to a professional sporting event? Yes! I go to an A's (baseball) game with my grandparents once or twice a year, it's really the only sport I'm even somewhat into

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? "Are you fucking kidding me" cause the dog shit on the carpet again...

8. What's your favorite kind of ice cream? Hmm, I really want mint chip rn so I'll go with that

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

10. Do you like your wallet? Meh? I mean it works but it doesn't have snaps or anything to keep it closed... I really liked my last wallet though! My mom got it in the 90s then gave it to me, it was blue velvet with embroidered flowers in burgundy, forest green, and mustard

11. What was the last thing you ate? Chocolate pudding

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Lol no. I have a feeling everyone will say no to this now

13. What was the last sporting event you watched? I don't regularly watch sports so the baseball game I went to in... who fucking knows sometime in August maybe??

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Butter, all the way!

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My wonderful friend and future roommate @ryetheruler

16. Have you ever gone camping? Yes! Every year at least once, I love going out into the woods

17. Do you take vitamins? No

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Nope, I'm an atheist

19. Do you have a tan? My arms and chest are hella tan cause I always wear tank tops but the rest of me is ghostly

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Well I *prefer* pizza but I'm technically intolerant to most of the ingredients so

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Nope! Well not from the can. And I rarely drink soda anyways

22. What color socks do you usually wear? Any color, though I don't wear any pattern but stripes or plain

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Can't drive, but my mom does so I'm used to it. Anything below 70 feels fucking slowwww

24. What terrifies you? Spiders, ladders, getting back to "regular" life

25. What do you see when you look to the left? My puppy sleeping :)

26. What chore do you hate? Cleaning the toilet

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Uh... Australia?

28. What's your favorite soda? Not a huge soda drinker but fuck I love root beer

29. When you go to fast food places, do you go in or hit up the drive thru? I get fast food like 4 times a year and it's usually drive thru

30. Who's the last person you talked to? Like face to face? My mom

31. What's your favorite cut of beef? Ohhh I can't even pick I love all red meat. Anything with a lot of fat, and maybe a bone to gnaw on after I like that

32. What's the last song you listened to? Currently listening to "Spellbound" by Siouxsie and the Banshees on repeat

33. What's the last book you've read? Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison

34. What's your favorite day of the week? Idk, Sunday?

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes! I timed it and it takes me 3 seconds to say the whole alphabet backwards, which is faster than the regular way

36. How do you like your coffee? 80% milk, sugar, and chocolate, but I don't drink coffee regularly anyways so

37. Which is your favorite pair of shoes? My favorite are my ankle boots (heeled black leather and seude Clarks), but I'm honestly usually barefoot or in flip flops

38. When do you normally go to bed? Well I retire to my room at like 21 usually, but I sleep around 23:30

39. When do you normally get up? 7am to 10am, depending

40. Which do you like better, sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets, I can see the sun setting over the whole San Franciso bay from my front porch

41. How many blankets are on your bed? Just a heavy comforter (and sheet)

42. Please describe your kitchen plates: forest green ceramic, and one black one that's the same shape/material

43. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Not a big drinker but red wine is good with Italian soda. Or, vodka/7 up/cranberry juice garnished with blueberries and mint is AMAZING

44. Do you play cards? I do! I fucking love me some Canasta

45. What color is your car? Don't have one, but my mom's is dark gray

46. Can you change a tire? Sadly no one has taught me so no

47. What is your favorite state/province? Oregon probably

48. What is your most favorite job you've ever had? Noneeee

49. How did you get your biggest scar? Uhh I think the biggest is on the inner side of my left knee, though it's pretty new so it might disappear. I went on a walk to the park down the road and accidentally ended up on an old closed trail, where I got stuck in knee high mud, walked INTO the lake, climbed through thorny bushes, scaled a small cliff, and walked out of the woods into a gated off section a confused park ranger had to guide me out of. Whoops. I told @satans-helper about some of this lol

50. What have you done today to make someone happy? I've cuddled with my dog! That made him very happy

Not that I didn't enjoy that but fuck I'm tired now lol, I don't have the mental capacity to tag anyone. If you see this and want to share about yourself, though, please do it and please tag me!!!

#wooo #i need another nap lol #tag game #personal ish

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jilyyall · 4 years

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Animal Magnetism - Ch 9.

Edward Cullen was not a normal teenager; of that I was certain. But knowing that did nothing to stop the pull I felt towards him. And if what he was saying was any indication, he felt some strange pull towards me, too. It was like we were magnets struggling against hope to stay apart. I only wondered what would happen when we inevitably collided.

Chapter 9. Iron Will. FANFICTION.NET / AO3 Intro/1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/

I took my time showering, dressing, and brushing my hair the next morning, trying to avoid my parents until they both left so that I didn't have to endure more questions about the mysterious Edward who drove me home. I ran out the front door maybe two minutes after I heard Renee's car pull out of the driveway, my truck key in hand.

And stopped, heart hammering in the damp air that promised rain momentarily, when I saw a silver Volvo where Renee usually parked. In the blink of an eye, Edward was outside and holding the passenger door open for me.

"Would you like a ride to school?" he asked. He was watching me carefully like he was worried I would have changed my mind about being near him, alone with him, in the last ten hours and thirty-two minutes.

"Yes. Thank you," I said, and walked over to him, trying my best to exude confidence even though I knew he could hear my heart hammering.

I brushed by him, closer than was strictly necessary, and slid into the car. He closed the door softly and instantaneously was sitting next to me, looking at me with that same expression he had when he'd done the same thing in Port Angeles.

"You're not going to scare me off with that," I informed him as I buckled my seat belt.

"I could scare you," he said with a thoughtful frown.

"I'm sure you're capable," I allowed, and shrugged. "But it doesn't make a difference to me."

"Yes, I remember," he said. "As it happens, I like being able to be myself around you."

For some odd reason, it sounded like he was frustrated. With me for not running away screaming? Very likely. With himself for not wanting to hide who he really was from me? Well, that seemed pretty likely as well, given what I knew of his personality and considering the several warnings he had given me that I would be better to stay away from him.

"You were going to tell me how your family was formed," I reminded him as he turned the key in the ignition.

He talked me through it, speaking quietly, carefully, as if expecting it to suddenly become too much.

"Carlisle found me dying of the Spanish Influenza in the summer of 1918 in Chicago. He was lonely, you see, after so long on his own, and had been considering making a companion for himself since he was having no luck finding one. He had treated my parents, but wasn't able to cure them. My mother… it was her dying wish that Carlisle save me. He saw something in me – I think I was especially perceptive even then, and he could see it. He was fond of me, so when it was clear to him that there was no saving me conventionally, he took me from the hospital – it wasn't hard to hide, so many bodies everywhere – and he changed me."

"I still, to this day, don't understand how he was able to stop from feeding on me. Mine was his first taste of human blood. I don't know how he's managed it, but in almost half a millennium, Carlisle has never fed on a human."

Half a millennium? I bit my lip, thinking of the young, attractive small town doctor, and trying to reconcile him with someone almost five hundred years old. It didn't seem possible, but how could I doubt Edward now?

"Do you remember it all from your own perspective? Or are they Carlisle's memories you have?" I wondered aloud.

"Some of both. I don't remember my human life very clearly, as I said last night, only small details that seemed important to hold onto. I remember even less from when I was dying. The fever was so intense…" he said, and I saw his grip on the steering wheel tighten. "Mostly, I just remember the pain."

"The pain? Of being ill?" I asked.

"No." He sighed and turned to look at me as he guided the car to a smooth stop at a red light. "The bite, and the subsequent transformation. It's days of agony, burning as the venom spreads through the body until the heart stops. And then, a different sort of burning when you wake."

"Hot iron down the throat?" I guessed, recalling the description from the night before.

"Something like that," he said with a wry smile, and his gaze flickered over me.

"Wait," I said, horrified. "Is it more painful now, with me? Even more painful than when you first woke up?"

"In some ways," he said, and shrugged. "When you first wake, it's different. It's… primal… the urge to feed… there's no fighting it. There's no caging the monster in. There is only the call of blood. Now, it's different. My body and my mind and my heart are constantly at war around you. You're lucky I'm a very stubborn being, Bella."

It was silent for a moment, one of those silences where I knew Edward was just waiting for my reaction. I looked at him, right in his eyes. "What about the others? How did they come along?"

He sighed and shook his head and I knew I hadn't given him the reaction he'd expected, the one he felt he deserved. Horror, I guessed. Or maybe repulsion.

"Esme was next. She fell from a cliff and was on the verge of death. He'd treated her in the hospital before, years earlier, had affection for her, and she for him. He couldn't bear the thought of her dying, so he changed her. They've been married for nearly a century."

"Then Rosalie. She was beaten and left for dead in the street. He brought her home and changed her. It was only two years later she found Emmett being mauled by a bear in Tennessee. She carried him more than a hundred miles back to Carlisle and begged him to change him for her. The amount of restraint she showed only two years after her own change was astonishing. To be able to resist all that blood when she was covered in it? It's not a simple thing, but she felt something for him and she knew he was going to be important to her."

"Did you see that in her mind?" I asked curiously. Somehow, I couldn't imagine Rosalie Hale sitting and talking with Edward about her feelings. But what did I know? I only saw the façade they put on at school. For all I knew, she was warm and inviting at home, and the stoic intimidating exterior in public was just a ruse.

"Yes. She used to be very annoyed with me that I could hear everything she was thinking," he told me. "She would try to block me out, but it didn't always work very well."

"And now?" I asked.

"There are no secrets in my family now. They are all free with their thoughts around me," Edward said, and scowled. "Too free, sometimes."

"You can't control it?" I asked. What must it be like to constantly have everyone else's thoughts in his mind when he didn't want them?

"I've learned to tune it out at times," Edward said dismissively. "In a crowd, it's almost like background noise. It's more difficult for me to tune out my family, though. The more familiar I am with someone, the stronger the connection."

"It must be terribly inconvenient," I said.

"Yes, it can be," he said, but he didn't sound inconvenienced. He'd clearly made his peace with the fact that he could so rarely enjoy true solitude. "They've each learned their own way of temporarily hiding their thoughts. Except for Emmett, who's never bothered to try. He's very open and honest and he doesn't see the point of trying to hide anything from me when I'll just find out anyway."

It all sounded very fascinating, and I wanted so badly to learn more about their family dynamic, but first I had to finish the story of how his family came together. "What about Alice and Jasper? You said they came together and found the rest of you."

"Yes. Jasper was changed when he was serving as a soldier in the Civil War, almost sixty years before me. He didn't have the same upbringing as the rest of us. He fed only on humans until he and Alice found each other in 1948. She helped him learn how to curb his instinct to kill humans, to control it after nearly a century of feeding on humans."

"Is that why he always looks like he's in pain?" I asked.

"It's part of it," Edward said. "It's more difficult for him to curb his nature. He struggles more than the rest of us."

"Why do you do it?" If it was so difficult, why did they bother to deny their instincts?

"We… have a fondness for humanity," Edward said slowly. "We respect the living; we see the people rather than the prey. And we don't… we don't want to be monsters."

"I don't think you're a monster, Edward," I said quietly. He looked dubious, as if he didn't quite believe me, but he didn't argue. "What's Alice's story?"

"She doesn't know," Edward answered. "She doesn't remember anything before she woke in the dark."

"Nothing?" I asked.

"All she remembers is waking up alone in 1920. She stayed that way until she and Jasper found each other, nearly thirty years later," Edward said gravely. "They haven't been apart since."

I pictured the smallest of the Cullens: flitting, pixie-like, fragile. Of course, that was just her appearance; I knew she wasn't defenseless, wasn't as harmless as she looked. All the same, I couldn't imagine the pain and loneliness she must have suffered waiting so long for her soulmate.

"It's so sad," I whispered, my voice breaking. I wondered, then, if it had been like that for Edward: lonely and sad. What was it like to be surrounded by happy couples, soulmates, to hear the force of their love in your mind, and have no one to share it with? I felt tears welling hot in my eyes and blinked quickly, swiping at a single errant tear. Embarrassed, I looked at Edward to see that he was staring at me again in stunned disbelief.

"Yes, it is," he agreed after a moment, his voice very gentle in the quiet space between us.

I realized that the car was no longer moving; we had arrived at school and parked close to the middle of the lot while he was speaking. There was a soft tapping on the hood of the car; the heavy clouds had finally produced the promised rain.

"Do you want your jacket back?" I said, feeling awkward; he was still watching me with that almost awestruck expression. I was wearing his jacket again, in part because I only had the one suitable jacket I'd left in Mike's car the night before, and partly because I'd been planning to return it to him as soon as I'd seen him anyway. That, and I couldn't get enough of the smell.

"No, Bella," he said softly, and there was something strange in his eyes. Hunger, I thought with a flush, but not the dangerous kind. "It actually serves its purpose on you."

He leaned over the center console, just like he had last night, and pressed his face to my neck and inhaled deeply again.

"Not that I mind," I said breathlessly as he began to run his nose along my jawline, just like he had done in Port Angeles. "But why do you do that? Doesn't it hurt you?"

"Yes," he murmured in my ear, but he didn't pull away. "It's enjoyable, though. And necessary. Think of it as if… I'm desensitizing."

He pulled away with a small, wicked smile. "That, and I like the way your heart races."

"Well," I said, swallowing thickly. He was still so close, his amber eyes inches from mine. I wanted him closer still. "I'm happy to help you desensitize. Feel free to continue."

"As much as I would love to – and, believe me, I would love to," he laughed ruefully, shaking his head, and then gestured out the window to indicate the full parking lot, "we have an audience, and they think we're doing something very different."

"Oh," I said, looking around in horror. I made eye contact with a couple walking in front of the car; the girl averted her gaze quickly, giggling to her boyfriend. I groaned. "Great."

"Are you ready?" Edward asked, reaching for the handle of his door.

"I guess." I sighed, though. I really didn't want to leave the confines of his car. I wished more than anything else that we could be alone again. I just had so many more questions for him.

Edward met me as I stepped out of the car, moving at a normal human pace, and shut the door for me. When he reached to take my books from me, I stepped back.

"What are you doing?"

He quirked an eyebrow, but otherwise didn't acknowledge my discomfort, taking the strap of my bag and sliding it off my shoulder.

"Bella," he said in a long-suffering voice. "Before the end of first period, everyone in this school is going to hear how we were just making out in my car. How would I look if I didn't even carry your books for you after that?"

"But, we weren't," I hissed, hurrying to catch up to him when he turned to walk across the lot.

"Would you like to tell them that, then?" Edward said. I could see the upward quirk of his lips; he knew I wouldn't say anything to anyone. "Besides, what we were actually doing is, in truth, much more scandalous. I'm only trying to preserve my reputation as a gentleman."

"It isn't 1918 anymore, Edward. You're being ridiculous," I said, then shook my head. I knew I wasn't going to win this one. "But, if I just think of it as protecting your reputation, I can bear it."

"I appreciate that. It's very noble of you," Edward teased.

I was aware of all of the eyes on us, but I couldn't find it in myself to care too much. I enjoyed being around Edward more than I hated the attention that came with it.

"Hey, where are the others? You usually drive them," I said, suddenly struck by the realization that his siblings were nowhere to be found.

He nodded to a bright red convertible on the other side of the parking lot. "Rosalie drove today."

"What does your family think about all this?" I asked. I knew I didn't have to explain that I meant us.

He was silent for a while. We were almost to the awning people usually crowded under when it was raining by the time he answered.

"Most of my siblings think I'm being irresponsible," he said carefully. "You have to understand that the entire family will be implicated if this ends badly. My parents just want me to be happy, so they're willing to support me in whatever decision I make."

"Is there something you haven't decided?" I asked very quietly. He had said I won't ever hurt you, Bella last night, and he'd said it more than once, so I was confident that he wasn't still deciding whether or not to kill me. What more was there?

"No, Bella," he answered. "I've made up my mind."

I still didn't think he was talking about the murder and blood drinking, but I knew it wasn't the time or place to push for clarification. "You said, most of your siblings?" I said instead.

"Yes," he said, his eyes narrowing in thought, like he was deciding how much to tell me. "Alice is very supportive."

"She is?" I said, surprised. I had never had any contact with any of the Cullens other than Edward and Dr. Cullen. I couldn't think of any good reason for his sister to like me, though I did remember her smiling at me the other day at lunch. "Why?"

"Alice can be strange sometimes," Edward said, still carefully choosing his words with a frown, and I remembered we couldn't speak freely here, not with so many people around. "She thinks you two will be the best of friends."

He glanced sideways at me, and smiled ruefully at what I was sure was the shocked expression on my face. "She has good reason," he added.

I filed that away for future clarification.

"Morning, Bella!" I looked up at Jessica's call to see her and Mike standing just ahead, under the awning several feet back from the light rain. Mike had my jacket folded over his arm.

"Hey, guys," I said when Edward and I drew level with them.

"Here," Mike said, handing me my jacket with a frown. "I thought you might need this."

"Thanks, Mike. You're a lifesaver," I said, swapping jackets as quickly as I could. Edward inclined his head when I handed him his jacket with a soft, "Thank you."

"Well, we'll leave you two to it," Jessica said with a sidelong glance at Edward. She gave me an expectant look that Edward pretended not to notice.

"See you in government, Bella," Mike said with a grumpy scowl.

"Yeah, sure," I agreed.

Edward chuckled when they walked away, stepping closer to me and lowering his voice. "She's planning to ambush you in Trigonometry."

"Yeah, I figured," I said with a sigh, then studied him speculatively. "What does she want to know?"

"She wants to know if we're secretly dating, or if we're just hooking up," he said at once. Then, after the briefest hesitation, "And if I'm a good kisser."

"But…" I stopped, and looked at him in panic. I didn't know any of the answers, except that we definitely were not hooking up. "What do I tell her?"

"I suppose you could tell her we're dating, if you don't mind. I think it would be easier than the alternative, since we'll be spending so much time together anyway," he said, grasping the handle of the door to the English building and holding the door for me.

"I don't mind," I said, then peered up at him shyly as we stopped outside my classroom. "I mean, it's kind of the truth… Isn't it?"

He looked at me with such tenderness, and stroked a single long-fingered hand through my hair. "Yes, Bella. You're right," he murmured, and then turned and began to walk away.

"Wait," I said, glancing warily at the people walking through the hallway. "What about that other thing?"

"Well, Bella, I'm afraid you're on your own with that one" he said, pausing at the door to give me a taunting wink. "But I'll be curious to hear how you handle it."

And then he was gone, leaving me to endure English class with Eric moping in the corner, and then Government with Mike shooting me furtive, sidelong glances. I knew he wanted to talk to me, probably to try to discourage me from seeing Edward anymore, but I was too preoccupied with the upcoming ambush to care.

Jessica was waiting for me outside of building six after my government class. It was a testament to how eager she was for gossip that she barely spared Mike a greeting before she hooked her arm through mine and practically dragged me along towards building five, and our Trigonometry class.

"Spill," she said as soon as Mike was out of earshot.

"About what?" I asked reluctantly.

"Did you plan to meet up with Edward last night? What happened after you left us? Did you hook up? Are you guys dating? Is he your boyfriend? Is he a good kisser?" She fired questions off rapid-fire so that my head was spinning by the time we walked into our classroom.

"Um," I said once I sat down. "No, I had no idea he was going to be there. I was as surprised to see him as the rest of you were."

"Why did he come? Just to see you? Just because he knew you would be there?" she demanded, leaning across the aisle to whisper so that we couldn't easily be overheard.

I shrugged awkwardly and tucked my hair behind my ear, acutely aware that Edward would be paying close attention to Jessica's thoughts.

"I… yeah, I guess so," I stammered. "We just went outside to talk… only to talk. And he gave me his jacket because I was cold."

"Because you left your jacket in Mike's car," Jessica said with a nod. "Did he really just take you home after? Or did you go somewhere else?"

"Well he was concerned that I hadn't eaten since breakfast, so we stopped at that Italian restaurant near the theatre."

"Oh, how thoughtful," Jessica said. "So, are you planning to hang out again? Are you guys, like, a thing?"

"Y-yeah, I… I guess," I said, ducking beneath my desk to rummage through my bag for my notebook and pencil. It was a pretty obvious attempt to hide my blush, I thought, but Jessica wasn't the most observant person, and I could only hope it hadn't registered in her thoughts. "He's driving me to Seattle next Saturday."

"Oh… But you guys should go to the dance!" Jessica protested.

"No, definitely not," I said, shaking my head firmly. "I don't surf, and I don't dance. Trust me, it's for the best."

"I bet Edward can dance," she said dreamily. "Rich kids go through classes like that all the time."

"I bet he can." I doubted if there was anything he couldn't do.

"Have you met his family yet? Has he met your parents? Has your dad pulled the Police Chief card and scared the crap out of him?"

"I've only met his dad. Dr. Cullen treated me after the almost accident," I reminded her. "Apparently, though, he thinks I'll get along well with Alice. He hasn't met my parents, but something tells me even the Chief won't scare him."

Jessica snorted softly. "I wonder if he'll pull the whole cleaning his gun routine when it happens."

Thankfully, class started just then, affording me a short reprieve from her questions. Of course, the second the bell rang she was at my side with more.

"Well?" she said impatiently, as if I had failed to answer a question she had asked two seconds ago, not an hour ago. At my blank look, she made a 'tsk'ing noise and lowered her voice to a hiss in my ear again. "Is he a good kisser?"

"Oh." I bit my lip, and hugged my books to my chest, thinking over my options carefully. She just assumed that we had kissed; I figured it was weirder for me to say that we hadn't, but I wasn't confident in my ability to lie to her. I decided on some semblance of the truth. "Um, you know… it's really embarrassing, actually, but every time he comes near me, much less touches me, I feel like I'm about to pass out."

Jessica giggled. "W-o-w," she said, drawing it out into a three-syllable word.

"Anyway," I said, quickly taking advantage of her silence as we approached our Spanish classroom. "Bring me up to speed on what happened after I left last night. You and Mike are looking pretty cozy."

"I know, right?" She squealed, her brown curls bouncing on her shoulders. "He dropped me off after everybody else even though Angela lives closer to him, and he kissed me!"

"That's awesome, Jess," I said with a genuine smile. It seemed Mike had taken what I'd said to heart, and had decided to leap into it with Jessica.

"Yeah, I mean, I didn't almost pass out or anything," she said, rolling her eyes playfully. "But it was really nice!"

"Are you guys going out again before the dance, or what?" I asked.

"I think he wants to go see another movie this weekend. A slasher flick this time," she said. "Oh, you and Edward should come!"

I pursed my lips in an awkward smile as I slid into my seat. "I don't know, Jess." I shrugged and reached into my bag for a pen. "Mike really doesn't seem to like Edward."

"Whatever, he'll get over it." She rolled her eyes. "I don't think any of the guys here like any the Cullen boys. It's just because they're all super hot, though. Don't worry about it."

We took our seats in Spanish just as the bell rang and I was relieved, for once, when Mrs. Goff announced a pop quiz. Next to me, Jessica groaned with the rest of the class.

"Who gives a pop quiz on a Monday? Seriously messed up. Anyway, are you having lunch with Edward again?" Jessica asked me as we started putting our books away after class. She paused, staring at something out the window. Turning, I saw Edward standing under a tree, looking at me. Jessica laughed breathlessly next to me. "I guess that's my answer. I'll see you in Gym."

By the time I stepped into the drizzle outside, he was standing there at the door with an amused smile. Once again, he took my book bag without preamble. "How did it go?"

I glowered at him and didn't answer; he already knew, of course. Hadn't he basically told me he would be listening in on Jessica's thoughts? He laughed at me as we started walking to the cafeteria and the mesmerizing sound made it difficult to feel awkward about the stares we were getting again.

"You nearly faint whenever I get too close to you?" He held open the door to the cafeteria with a smirk.

"Please. Like you didn't already know that." Following him into the line, I rolled my eyes. Then, in a truly terrible impression of his smooth, melodic teasing earlier in the car: "I like the way your heart races."

He took a lunch tray, slanting an almost nervous look down at me. "Are you annoyed with me already?"

"No," I assured him, eyeing the tremendous amount of food he piled onto the tray dubiously. He couldn't honestly expect me to eat all of that. "What? Half's for you?"

"Of course," he said with a wink for me, and a smile for the lunch lady as he paid her. She stared after him when he turned away; even middle-aged women weren't immune to his charm, I realized with a small smirk as I followed him.

He sat at the end of the same long, half-occupied table we'd shared the week before, but this time I chose to sit in the seat next to him. I worried my proximity would alarm him, but he moved his chair closer still, so close that our arms would brush each time I reached for something from the tray. I wanted to ask him so many questions, but I was worried that we would be easily overheard. Correctly guessing the reason for my hesitation, he smiled softly and angled his body toward me, leaning in.

"The other students here aren't as curious as you," he reminded me. "Besides, it's incredibly difficult to be overheard in a noisy, crowded lunch room. We can talk."

"Is it difficult for you to pretend to be just like any other person?" I asked quietly.

"In what way?" Edward said. He leaned his opposite forearm against the table, and his torso hunched slightly as he leaned towards me. We looked, I was sure, very secretive, but I figured most people would likely attribute it to new love.

"Physically, I mean. Like your speed. I know you said last night that you hate going slow, but is it difficult for you to move at a more … normal pace, for lack of a better term?" I clarified. "And the strength. I know you're capable of massive shows of strength. Are you, I don't know, concentrating really hard right now not to crush that?"

I gestured to his hands. He was fiddling absently with my empty soda bottle.

"Regarding the speed," he began slowly, pausing when someone walked behind us, "it's not difficult, per se, to move at a normal pace. It's just boring. And the strength?"

In a flash, the bottle was a ball of plastic no bigger than a golf ball. He smiled at me and set it down on table between us.

"It's very easy to do things like this, and like … other things you've seen," he said cryptically as a boy I recognized from my Gym class walked in front of us. I knew he was referring to the day he'd stopped the van from crushing me. "But it's not difficult to handle delicate things. Your hand, for instance."

He reached over and took my hand in his, slid his fingers through mine smoothly. I marveled at the bold contact – he'd been fairly careful not to touch me too much last night. He turned our hands over so mine was resting on top of his on the table.

"I could very easily crush every bone in your hand, if I wanted," Edward said with a quick flash of a grin. "But it's not that I have to try not to hurt you in that way, it's that I would have to consciously expend the effort. Do you understand?"

I nodded. It wasn't like the bloodlust where he was focused nonstop on not killing me. He was like a regular boy in respect to his strength, unless he actively chose not to be. "Is it difficult right now? In the other way?"

He smiled serenely and shook his head. "No, Bella. Or, I should say, no more than I can handle."

"Is it… normal? The, um, the effect I have on you?" I said hesitantly. "Is it very strong like this, very often?"

He frowned, his eyes narrowing with some sort of internal debate. Finally, he sighed, and shook his head. "While not unheard of, it isn't common," he told me, speaking so quietly I had to strain to hear him. "Occasionally, there will be one person who is particularly enticing, but I've never heard of it being this strong before."

"Has it ever happened to you?" I asked. I hadn't yet asked him if he'd always followed his family's way of life, but it was on my list. I just wasn't sure how to word it, or how comfortable he would be discussing it. Something he had said in the car earlier made me suspect that he hadn't always had such a strong will, hadn't always rejected human blood.

I don't know how he's managed it, but in almost half a millennium, Carlisle has never fed on a human.

"No," he said. "But to Emmett. Twice, when he was still fairly new. Once stronger than the other, but nothing like this." He danced his long fingers lightly along the wrist of the hand he was holding, right over the veins there. "He tried, but ... couldn't resist. He's the youngest of us, it's more difficult."

Over his shoulder, I saw his siblings at their usual table. They weren't looking at us, but that didn't mean they weren't aware. Alice and Rosalie were on one side of the table with an untouched apple and a banana in front of them as they looked at their boyfriends... husbands? Across from them, Emmett and Jasper were playing a very ordinary-looking game of paper football on the tabletop. Shocked by the normalcy of the scene, I turned to Edward. "Can they hear us now?"

"Yes, they're listening," he said, watching me closely. "Does it bother you?"

I thought about it. Did it bother me to know that anything I ever said could be overheard? I didn't want to hide anything from Edward, and I wanted his family to know that they could trust me with their secrets. I couldn't lie to myself and deny that it was strange, knowing that I could only be certain I had privacy if I wasn't speaking, but nothing had changed. For the two months I'd been here, every conversation I'd ever had could have been overheard by any of the Cullens.

I shook my head, and shrugged. "It is what it is. It's the world I live in now."

Rosalie Hale turned suddenly, and glared at me so harshly that I flinched. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, but in that moment, her face was the stuff of nightmares. Edward stiffened and his free hand curled into a fist on the table between us. He scowled and hissed a low warning under his breath without looking up. Casually, Rosalie turned her head back to the other Cullens and shifted back into the ordinary illusion with ease.

"I'm sorry about her," he murmured and I remembered he had said that his siblings, save Alice, weren't very happy he was spending time with me so publicly.

"It's okay." I shrugged, but I was shaken. She'd looked so angry, almost as terrifying as Edward had been that first day. Now, looking at him sitting so calmly beside me, it seemed like a lifetime ago I'd been certain he wanted me dead. "I get it. This isn't just dangerous for me."

"I'm not going to lose this battle," he vowed quietly, and I knew he said it for his family's benefit, and maybe even his own, as much as mine. "I couldn't survive it if I did. Not after knowing you."

"That iron will of yours," I murmured.

"I get it from my father," Edward joked, and I knew he referred to Carlisle.

FFN/AO3

#twilight fanfiction #twilight renaissance #edward x bella #bella x edward #edward cullen #bella swan #i forgot to post these here again oops

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your-modern-shakespeare · 4 years

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Just Like You (24)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23

Summary: You are an experiment, the first of its kind. One day you escape and are living a normal life when you run into a perfect stranger or was he?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 5365

A/N: Well...it’s my birthday today so I decided to post a birthday chapter. I originally wanted to post this on March 10th but realized right as I was about to post, the first half of the chapter had already been posted so...I’m dumb. But it’s up for today even thought being quarantined has sucked the life out of me and will do the same for me today. I hope someone enjoys this but I don’t know. Enjoy.

Warnings: angst, non-cannon info (?), kissing, some fluff, google translate, flashback, POV switching, a little bit of a cliff hanger

Tags: @thisisthelilith, @thesalsafic, @fangirl1802, @lust-for-pan, @iamwarrenspeace, @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi, @ssweet-empowerment

BUCKY’S POV

1 Month Later

I walked into the hospital room and sat down on the bed next to her, like I did every day since we got here. She was still asleep, no surprise there.

So I pulled out the next letter, an identical match to the other ones I had written to her every day since we got here, and sat on the bed beside her. I looked over at the ever growing stack of them, sitting beside her bed, all 207 of them, and opened the newest one. I grabbed her hand, moved real close to her, and began the next letter.

Dear Y/N,

It’s been 6 months, 3 weeks, and 6 days since everything was normal. But it’s also been, officially, 1 year since we left Bucharest. Happy 116th Birthday.

Steve wanted to come in and throw some kind of party for my 100th birthday but it feels wrong to celebrate today without you. I thought we would both make it to this day and even though you’re physically here, it’s not the same. I wanted to take you out to dinner and I wanted to bake you cupcakes and everything else I had planned for us last year. I want to do these things because you’re here and you deserve it, I don’t want to do anything without you.

Bruce and Tony have been working really hard to figure this out and everyone else has been looking for new HYDRA information everytime they go out on a mission. They said that they had an idea, they’ve been working on it for a while though so I don’t know if it’ll work. They came to your room a couple of days ago to explain this idea and I want to say that I understood everything they said but I would be lying…

I wanted to wait until I understood everything to write it down but maybe when you’re reading these it’ll make sense to you. They couldn’t stop talking about trying to control the serum, that they thought that there was a harmless way to move the serum from all over your body to just a part of your body. The serum would be concentrated enough for you to control but they couldn’t tell me what the after effects would be to do something like this. Would you be in pain as the serum moved? Would you feel the serum once it was concentrated? What would move it and what would make it stay once it was moved?

Unfortunately I didn’t get those answers and probably because I am being hard on them. I hate to admit it but the things I’ve learned about what HYDRA did to you, about all the things you’ve endured, it’s made it hard for me to accept these experiments. I don’t want you to go through any more pain, I don’t want you to have to deal with this. God if there was a way I could take away your pain, I would in a heartbeat. But it doesn't work that way.

So instead I’m just waiting for some kind of miracle to happen and maybe next year we’ll get to celebrate our birthdays together.

Love,

STEVE’S POV

The three of us stood outside of the hospital room, looking in through the glass window, watching as bucky sat there reading another letter to a sleeping Y/N. The last six months have been nothing but a huge search for answers. If we weren’t in Wakanda sleeping or resting from a mission, we were on a mission. It kept us busy but it also didn’t yield many results which was the most frustrating part of it all. That and the fact that we still had you in a coma.

I had wanted so badly to have you awake for Bucky’s birthday...and yours too I guess. Which is why I was hoping to anyone listening that Tony was right in this experiment.

“Tony, how sure are you about this?”

“I’m at like...98%?”

“Well I need you to be at 198%. We didn’t tell Bucky we were doing this so it has to work.”

“Look...I know that everyone wants answers to whatever is happening but I don’t know them, I act like I have them but I don’t. What I do know 100%, is that Y/N will know something that we don’t know. She knows a lot more about everything, HYDRA or otherwise. My goal isn’t to fix her right now, I just need to plug the hole so that I can wake her up. We have to stabilize her and I think that pushing as much of the serum as possible away from her brain and her arm would give her the control that she needs to wake up and give us some of the answers we’re looking for.”

“And what about these robots?”

“Well, when we x-rayed Bucky we noticed a strange reaction happening in the shoulder joint near his arm. Because his arm was amputated and healed before putting the arm on, there’s no real connection between the flesh of his shoulder and the vibranium of the arm, that we can see anyway. And yet the serum is still drawn to the vibranium, it’s why we think the arm was used as an additional way of controlling him. We think that when Bucky is activated the combination of the serum and mind control is what makes him obedient to whoever controls him and the metal would essentially behave in the same manner because not only is it attached to him but it can mimic the same reaction as the serum.” Bruce said.

“Mimic?”

“There’s some kind of connection between the two that we don’t understand. We did tests on the serum and the vibranium and the results were always the exact same. Ther serum was made with basic chemistry, there’s not much in there that we couldn’t find in labs today but vibranium...there’s a reason it’s locked up here in Wakanda. They know how powerful it is, they know the strength behind their technology that uses it. HYDRA found out what it could do and they connected the two together and somehow it works. So we wanted to use the same methods against them, to save her.” Tony said

“The vibranium microbots that we injected into her IV a couple of days ago, will essentially connect with the serum and will slowly push the serum down to her legs. This will give us the time that we need to wake her up and figure out how to fix this for good.” Bruce finished.

“I really hope so.” I said.

BUCKY’S POV

I was sitting in the chair, feet propped up on the side of her bed, holding her hand and watching some TV show that I couldn't understand. I was going in and out of consciousness pretty frequently, but it wasn’t sticking and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was because every time I opened my eyes I was waiting for some kind of birthday miracle. I just wanted to see her eyes again maybe even her smile, but I could settle for one.

I must have finally given up because the next time I woke up the sun was starting to set and Steve was now sitting in the room.

“How’s it going?” He asked.

“The same as it has been for the last 200 days.”

“Well I know that you didn’t want to do anything for your birthday but I thought it would be nice to do a little something to hopefully bring up your spirits.” He pulled out a box and opened the lid, pulling out one of two cupcakes. He reached out to hand me one of them and I couldn’t help but think about the moment that we met two years ago.

Bucharest, Romania

March 10, 2015

BUCKY’S POV

Keep your eyes on the ground, hat pulled down low, don’t look suspicious. Be aware but don’t look paranoid. Don’t give anyone a reason to believe that you don’t belong there.

I kept these thoughts as a constant reminder, kept them right at the forefront of my mind. I escaped. I escaped and I’m okay.

I just had to keep moving, I had to find somewhere safe to live, somewhere where no one could find me. Was Bucharest far enough away from them? Could they find me here or do I need to keep moving?

I’m so tired of running. I’m tired. And hungry.

Just keep moving.

Just keep moving...right into someone.

I ran right into someone, the only downside to keeping your head down was that sometimes you couldn’t see who was right in front of you, especially if they’re not looking either. She had been holding something in her hands, a cupcake, I think, and it was now smothered between the two of us.

“Imi pare foarte rau.” (I’m really sorry.) She says first.

“Este bine.” (It’s good.) I didn’t want to make too much of a fuss about it but I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel bad about ruining her pastry. I looked up at her to apologize as well, but couldn’t get the words out when I saw her face. She was beautiful, simple as that, easily someone that I would have dated back when I was normal. And yet at the same time she was somehow familiar which was strange and I couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I didn’t want to perceive her as a threat but I could have taken her down if needed. I really didn’t want to though...

“Apartamentul meu e chiar acolo, dacă doriți să curețe.” (My apartment is right there if you want to clean up.) The gesture was nice and under different circumstances I wouldn’t hesitate to take her up on her offer, not only because I was covered in frosting, but because I felt like I wanted to spend more time with her.

When I looked at her, I saw flashes of my past. They weren’t of her, obviously given my age and the fact that she couldn’t be over 25, but she reminded me of that time. How easy it was back then to be attracted to someone, to want to pursue a relationship, to be normal...

“Da te rog.” (Yes please) She shyly smiled back at me and let me follow her back to her apartment. I watched her as we walked and the strange thing I noticed was that she walked exactly the same as I did, eyes to the ground, head down low, trying to make herself as small and as unnoticeable as possible.

I followed her into this building that wasn’t the nicest place in the city but was much nicer than anything I had been staying in since I left them. We walked up flight after flight of stairs, still paying close attention to her and finding it strange that she wasn’t winded at all by the distance we had gone up. Maybe she was used to it? Maybe I’m overthinking everything?

I pushed the thought aside and she unlocked her door letting me into the apartment first. The place was much nicer than the building, she didn't have much but what she did have went together. There were no pictures of anything and no real decorations, just a simple layout, like she hadn’t been there long. I’m overthinking again.

“Do you speak English?” She asked amongst my inspection of her apartment. Her english sounded okay, but the Russian accent was heavy and more alarming than I would have liked.

“Yes.” I replied.

“That’s great. The bathroom is just down the hall, on the right.” She pointed to the hallway to the left of the door where I was standing,

“Thank you.” I quickly disappeared into the restroom, removed my backpack and grabbed a clean shirt to put on. I tried my best to rinse out the dirty shirt and dry it before putting it back in my bag, but it was just going to have to be a little wet. I was about to head out when I looked in the mirror one last time. I took in a deep breath and just reminded myself to remain calm. There was no way that she was HYDRA, they didn’t know where I was. There was no way for them to know.

Eventually I calmed down enough to step outside the restroom and right as I opened the door I saw her coming out of her room, in a new shirt and a bottle of water in her hands, but she seemed a little more nervous now...which made me nervous.

“So, I’m really sorry about the cupcake. The baker down the street had given it to me as a birthday gift.” She said, once again apologizing. She also seemed a lot more shy, having not looked me in the eye since we got into her apartment.

“It’s your birthday?” I asked, surprised.

“Yep.”

“Mine too.” When I said that she finally looked up at me.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“So birthday boy, do you have a name?” She smiled at me but immediately tried to hide it. I just looked at her and I hesitated because I was paranoid and because I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to know my name, but then again HYDRA never called me by my name let alone my nickname.

“Bucky.”

“Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you.” I tried to come off a little less tense but I think she could definitely tell that I was.

“Nice to meet you too. Can I get you anything? Water, food?”

“A water would be nice.” I was starving but I really didn’t want to impose, especially if she was an innocent bystander like I was trying to convince myself she was.

She made her way over to the kitchen and I absentmindedly followed her, just watching her move again. She was so graceful, there was just this sort of ease about the way she moved, almost mesmerizing. She looked back at me briefly to hand me the bottle of water and then grabbed a plum from a bowl on the counter.

She took a big bite of the fruit, trying her hardest not to look at me as she thought real hard about something, wrinkles forming on her forehead from the effort. I watched her lips move, the act itself being more mesmerizing than her movements; It was such a strange action from me. Keep my eyes on the ground, head down low, easy steps to follow and yet I couldn’t help but look at her.

I had to distract myself so I opened the bottle of water and nearly chugged the whole thing.

“Can I ask you something?” She said, cutting the thick tension in the room as if she had a knife in her hands.

“Sure.”

“Have we met before? I know it’s a weird question and I don’t want to freak you out, but sometimes I have problems with my memory and I just feel like I have seen you before.”

“I don’t think we have but I’m kind of in the same boat as you. My memory is not in the best shape.”

“Then can I ask something else?”

“Okay.” Now she was making me very nervous. She hesitated before asking her next question, obviously just as nervous to ask.

“Do you know what HYDRA is?” I automatically took a few steps back, wanting to get as far away as I could.

“Who are you?” I asked, every single nerve on high alert and telling me to get away as fast as possible.

“So you do?” She seemed...scared. We couldn’t tear our eyes away from each other, watching each other intently.

“Yes.”

“Can I explain myself?”

“If you try anything, you'll be dead before you know it.”

“I’m a soldier, the very first. I was born on March 10, 1901. My father was in charge of the HYDRA Siberian Facility and he willingly gave me over to be experimented on. I don’t remember much after that, the only thing that keeps running through my head, the only thing that I have never forgotten was putting a bullet in his head. It was August 17, 1963.” She looked upset and I couldn’t help but relax a little at her words. She was like me, she was running from them. And for the first time in a long time I began to trust again.

“You’re a soldier?”

“Yes.”

“I am too. James Buchanan Barnes. I was born March 10, 1917. I fought in World War II with my best friend. I fell off a train and lost my arm. HYDRA found me and made me an arm of metal and then they made me their soldier.”

“I guess we really are in the same boat.” She relaxed too. The tension that had spiked as soon as she mentioned them was gone again and the thing that remained was that feeling from before, the attraction.

“It would appear that way.”

“So why are you in Bucharest?”

“About a year ago I had been on a mission. They sent me after the Avengers and I tried to kill my friend. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t want HYDRA to find me. Anywhere I have gone just didn’t feel right and I was too nervous. Romania is what I thought of, something easy, familiar almost. I just got here but I want to start over really.”

“You can stay here if you want. I know it’s not ideal but I have a pull out couch and you wouldn’t have to pay for anything, at least until you get on your feet. And I’m sure we could help each other.”

“You want to be around someone like me?”

“We’re in the same boat remember?” She smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile back, relief washing over both of us in waves. We would be okay.

God...her smile. It had had a way of lighting up a room.

I just stared at the cupcake...thinking about her smile.

Steve had left the room to find a lighter for the candle and I just held the pastry in my hand.

A vanilla cupcake with white frosting and blue sprinkles.

Her favorite.

I laughed, how it was her favorite, I didn’t know. It was the only flavor she had ever tried.

I don’t know what I was expecting the cupcake to do, but I stared and stared at it hoping it would...do nothing I guess. It’s a cupcake. It wasn’t meant to do anything.

It made her smile though, so that was something.

But not now. There was no smile now. Just a cupcake.

I leaned over, elbows propped up on the side of her bed, my left hand holding up my head and the right holding the cupcake. I stared at the little cake decoration, declaring that it was my 100th birthday. Yippee for me.

“You better not drop that on me.” I heard, whispered to me. It took me a second to realize what just happened.

Now...some people would call me crazy for assuming first that it was the cupcake that had said that. Then again lets remember that the only other person who had been in the room had just been in a coma for 6 months and would be unstable and possibly kill us all if awoken from said coma. Also I probably could have allowed myself to leave the hospital every now and then so I wouldn’t go insane but that was a whole other issue.

But no...it was definitely her who had said it. I don’t know how but she was awake.

I genuinely smiled for the first time since we put her in a coma, placed the cupcake on the table beside the bed and grabbed her hand in mine.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

STEVE’S POV

I was really hoping that Tony’s plan worked. I told Bucky that I was leaving the room to get a lighter but I was kind of hoping that Y/N would be awake by now.

Tony said that these robots were in the right place and from what he could tell, she would be safe enough to wake up. So that’s what we did.

We waned her off the coma medication and with the serum burning off most medications quickly, we thought she would be awake already. It took a little longer than we thought though.

That was this morning, while Bucky was sleeping, and I had bought two cupcakes in the hope that she would be awake already but I guess we just had to give her more time.

To make Bucky less suspicious of me, I walked back into the room within a reasonable amount of time and looked over at him. He was on the bed with Y/N, arms wrapped around her, his head resting on her chest and she was awake. She was so calm, just running her fingers through his hair.

“Y/N?” I asked.

“Hey Steve.”

“You’re awake.”

“Yeah. I’m not really sure about what happened, but he’s not really in the mood to tell me anything. He seems kind of angry.” She pointed at Bucky who had his eyes closed and had a scowl on his face.

“Come on Bucky...you should be happy right now.” He sat up and glared at me.

“I should be happy? I was happy and then realized that there was no natural way for her to be awake right now. All three of you perfectly explained that in order to wake her up we had to do some robot thing and something about moving the serum around. I know for a fact that I didn’t approve of that so then she should be asleep right? Not unless all of you lied to me and did it anyway. So I should be happy? I’ll be happy when you tell me that you didn’t do anything stupid, like expirementing on the one person I told you not to!”

“Bucky—”

“No! I had one request in all of this. I said no experiments! No guessing, no trials and errors! Nothing but answers!”

“We didn’t have the answers! It’s been six months and we couldn’t keep doing this. There’s only so much failure we can handle before it’s time to try something else. I let Tony do this because you needed her to be awake and frankly, so did we.”

“Okay...I’m thoroughly confused now.” We both looked at Y/N, who was just taking in everything we said.

So we stopped the argument for the meantime and took some time to catch her up on the last six months. She read all of his letters and Bucky seemed to calm down some, which was good. And while we explained everything it gave Tony and Bruce enough time to come to the room and explain the more scientific things, everything about the robots and the serum.

She seemed to be following okay but I could see that she seemed a little overwhelmed by everything.

“Why don’t we give the two of you a moment?” I said when the room was quiet. I ushered Tony and Bruce out of the room and we waited to see what Y/N wanted to do next. Everything was up to her at this point.

BUCKY’S POV

I was now sitting in the chair beside her bed and staring at the wall because I didn’t want Y/N to think I was mad at her.

“Bucky…”

“Yeah?”

“Look at me.” I took a deep breath and tried to soften my gaze before looking at her.

Even after being in a coma for six months, she was the most beautiful woman in the whole world. Seeing her smile, even though it wasn’t a full one, made me soften up; I felt my shoulders relax and my face unscrunched from its glare.

“Hi.” She said.

“Hey doll.”

“There he is.”

“I really missed you.” I felt my eyes start to tear up.

“Come here.” I climbed back on the bed, sitting right beside her as close as possible, and she grabbed my hands, holding them in hers. I just sat there, looking at her hands, feeling her touch again, but not really having anything to say and yet having so much I should say. “Why are you so upset?”

“I just...I didn’t want them to do anything that could hurt you. And they went ahead and just did this experiment anyway, knowing that I had already said no and was not okay with trying this on you without more research to back it up. God knows, you’ve been experimented on enough and they couldn’t tell me if this was going to work or what the side effects were going to be and I didn’t want you to be in any pain.” I was like a fountain, just spewing everything I was feeling. I needed her to know everything. I needed her to know how badly I had messed up.

“But I’m not in any pain.”

“But you were...and everything was so bad and I didn’t know how to help you.”

“Bucky…”

“I hurt you. I had to hurt you to stop you. I had to break your arm so the whole building wouldn’t collapse on us. And then they had to put you under and you were gone...you were gone for six months!” I was sobbing by this point. I had pushed everything so far down that I didn’t realize just how hard I was beating myself up over everything that had happened. “They kept talking about the serum and how they didn’t know how it worked, they didn’t know anything other than what HYDRA had written down about the formula. And they said that they thought the best thing would be to activate you. To just straight up activate you and hope that the serum would burn away like it did the first time and yet they couldn’t even confirm that that would happen. So what, then you just do a quick little mission and all is fine? No! They don’t understand what we went through, they don’t understand what those words do to us or what we have to go through afterwards. I couldn’t put you through that, not after everything you’ve been through! All I ever wanted was for everything to be okay. I wanted you to be awake and I wanted us to move here so that everything could be like it was in Bucharest. I wanted you to be happy.” She just stared at me, knowing that I wasn’t done lifting the weight from my shoulders. “There was so much I couldn’t do. I couldn’t save you, I couldn’t stop Antonoff, I couldn’t find the answers to wake you up and I obviously couldn’t keep them from injecting some weird robots into you. I couldn’t do anything to help you.”

“First of all...all of that is untrue.” She reached out and started to wipe my tears away. “You have helped me more than anyone ever could. You helped bring back all of my memories, you protected me when we left Bucharest, you fought for me when I was activated, but most of all you love me like no one ever has before. There are things that are just out of our control. Antonoff was never going to back down and even though we all knew he outnumbered us you still fought him. With the serum...there’s a lot to still understand and there are reasons that HYDRA never shared or even wrote down the things that were most important to them. And the robots, well I’m not exactly sure about those yet but it sounds like Tony, Bruce and Steve had the right idea. They were thinking of you, thinking about how they were going to get me back to you. So yes we’ve been through a lot, probably more than any one person should ever deserve to go through, but I’m not upset with you or with Steve or Bruce or Tony. What matters to me is that I’m here with you and I’m okay. We can still have that life that we always dreamed of and we’ll figure out a way to permanently fix this serum problem of mine. We just need to take each day a step at a time and we’ll get through this just like we always do.”

“There’s just—”

“Nope.”

“But I—”

“No.”

“Y/N—”

She pulled me to her and kissed me the way I should have kissed her when I saw that she was awake.

“This is all I want right now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“I just—you were gone for so long. And I didn’t know what would be the best thing or the worst thing to do. I didn't want to hurt you and I didn’t want to make it worse. I just got so...scared.”

“You don’t have to shoulder this alone anymore. And you definitely don’t need to be scared, when are you going to learn that I’m always going to come back to you?”

“Maybe you should remind me.”

“You just want me to kiss you again.”

“Can you blame me?”

This time I kissed her, moving on the bed to lay down beside her so that I could feel as much of her as I could.

I pushed everything out of my head and just allowed myself to feel normal again, to love the woman that I loved more than anything in the world. It had been six months since I had kissed her, since I had held her, since I had done anything with her resembling the life we once had. It was this moment where the haze had cleared and for the first time in half a year that everything was okay.

Y/N’S POV

We kissed like two people starved. It was a mixture of, for me, not wanting him to feel bad about everything that had happened to me, for him, not having any real connection to me in six months, and genuine need to be close to one another.

We heard the door open and were cut off when Tony, who had his eyes covered, interrupted us.

“Person coming in! I don’t want to see any body parts that are normally hidden!”

“Tony.” Steve said, slapping his arm and making him look at him who wasn’t hiding his eyes.

“We just wanted to make sure everything was okay now.” Bruce said.

“Yeah everything’s good.” Bucky said to me with a smile on his lips.

“Good, we’re very happy that you’re awake Y/N.” Steve said, smiling at me.

“I am too. But I actually would be a lot happier if I could get some coffee.”

“You and your coffee.” Bucky mocked.

“You’re the one who got me hooked on it.”

“I know.”

“Do you mind?”

“I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you.”

He climbed off the bed and put his shoes back on. I grabbed his hand before he was able to get too far and pulled him back to me one more time, giving him a quick kiss.

“Happy Birthday Bucky.”

“Happy Birthday Y/N.”

He gave me one more kiss before leaving me with the other three guys in the room.

“So I just have a couple of questions to ask before Bucky gets back.”

“Yeah?” Tony asked.

“What are the side effects of using these robot things? Or I guess having the serum so concentrated?”

“We actually don’t know, we weren’t able to test this outside of the lab.” Bruce confirmed my worry.

“I was just asking because...I can’t feel my legs.”

They just looked at me with horror in their eyes and fear that maybe they hadn’t been right in doing this experiment so soon.

And yet the most feared question, the one that was most likely in all of our minds:

What was I going to tell Bucky?

Let me know what you think here

PART TWENTY-FIVE

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