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angeltrapz · 3 years

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oosdkk dude im sorry ur mood dropped too.. i hope u feel better soon <3 but like i wld love 2 hear more abt ur thoughts on Art in general bc Boy Is He Interesting, and also a lil more abt Daniel coming out as nonbinary to his dad (whether he knows Eric is trans or not at that moment skjdfhdskf)! + if ur feelin it just more abt Mallick in general ESP cuz we agree that Brit doesn't make it thru V

djhfjdks thank u sm <3

okay Art first. I genuinely wonder abt him so much, something in specific I think abt is that aside frm Amanda (+ Eric, obviously, but talkin abt disciples) Art is one of the only trap victims EVER 2 be tested twice and it’s like... what’s that abt? Why? as u’ve said b4 it rly depends on how you personally view his character: whether he’s a disciple or not. fr me, both options are equally plausible, n honestly I don’t rly confine myself to either; it sorta depends on what I’m feeling/writing. if we’re talking abt art being a disciple, then the Spinecutter not going off (one of my BIGGEST questions) makes total sense, as Hoffman’s side of the trap was never set up to work either, + Jigsaw disciples have a history (aside from Lawrence) of appearing as victims in other tests/traps. if he were not just another pawn and was in fact a disciple himself, then the Spinecutter was never meant to go off - it was there just to make Eric think it COULD go off/make it look convincing to outsiders. which brings me to ANOTHER question: what does Art know abt Eric? does he know anything? what does he think of Eric?

(lil side note: if Art is a disciple, then I kinda wonder if it’s a lil bit of a Hoffman + Lawrence situation where Hoffman didn’t know abt Art either? just bc he looks so shocked when he sees Art’s face fully fr the first time... that could’ve just been acting on Hoffman’s part but IDK. food fr thought)

personally, I feel like Art probably does know a lil bit abt Eric - at the very least, he’d know tht Eric had been previously tested + failed by John’s rules, but then I feel that he wld also know Eric didn’t rly have a chance in his second test. that is why Art trying so fucking hard to keep Eric alive is interesting 2 me: what is his motivation 2 do that? like he’s been told Eric’s basically just there to get Rigg to participate, he doesn’t have any personal obligation or anything like that. sure, the aim is to keep Eric alive + see if Rigg can pass his “test,” but nobody said anything about grabbing a man you barely know around his ankles to keep him frm hanging himself w a noose made of chains. nobody said anything abt speaking to him so softly, not even raising your voice beyond saying “hey,” and asking him do you understand? when you tell him to keep still and prevent him frm killing his counterpart (which, if Art is a disciple, he knows it won’t, but he still speaks to Eric so softly, so compassionately, doesn’t he?)

nobody said anything abt grabbing him around the waist and steadying him again after being punched by said man. but Art does that. he stabilizes Eric’s feet on the ice as best he can and he keeps his hips straight and he basically says “look, we’re all stuck here, you need to keep it together ‘til that clock counts down if you want us to live, but I’m giving you a choice,” and he presses the gun w the single bullet into Eric’s hands and tells him it’s up to him. nobody said Art had to care but he does, I think, and it’s just like. he really didn’t have to keep Eric alive over the course of Rigg’s test. he didn’t. but he did and I just,, where does it come from? why does he care? this is even going beyond the fact that we’ve talked abt them being together after their test in a scenario where they both survive - I just think that Art at his core is a very stubborn but very compassionate person, whether he wants 2 be or not. like he HAS to know that kind of involvement cld prove to be extremely detrimental but he cares. I feel like that says a lot abt him (even if he does call Eric an asshole a couple times while doing it,,).

plus I also just. I think his reason for being tested (as it seems to be in most cases) is extremely flimsy. he was doing his job. he’s a LAWYER. often times it has nothing 2 do w personal feelings; they’re there to do their job and sometimes, unfortunately, that is defending possibly reprehensible people (in cases like Rex’s & Ivan’s). + John was already upset w him regarding their argument abt the urban renewal group so like it just feels So Very Petty, y’know?? even in the scenario where he IS a disciple, testing him twice seems entirely like John having a personal vendetta against him. Amanda is the only other person to be tested twice aside from Eric, so like. what. is that abt Mr. Kramer.

like I’ve said b4 in dms one could argue that Art is grey morally, bc we never rly see anything of him outside of flashbacks + acting as a test controller in IV, esp given that he... rly doesn’t seem too bothered abt it all? which is fair. but I also feel like the concern he shows towards Eric is smth to be considered as well.

+ YESS NONBINARY DANIEL I know I’ve mentioned it b4 but for reference, I read Daniel as masc nonbinary (he/they)! so I feel like Daniel wld b pretty comfortable w his identity, he’s never rly had a reason not to be (it’s rly anyone’s guess here tho bc we never see Eric + Daniel + Kate... as a family unit, for obvious reasons), so I feel like he’s vry chill abt it? and in the scenario where Eric survives n is dating Adam, I feel like Daniel wld talk 2 him abt it first (Adam is an adult they quickly come to trust + he’s vocal abt being trans himself so there’s that added layer of understanding - other than his mom maybe Adam might b the first person they come out 2). they’re just kinda like “so I wanna tell my dad I’m nonbinary but like I’ve literally never thought abt coming out what do I do” and Adam’s just like. Aha. bc he knows Eric is Also Trans so like, he doesn’t tell Daniel that bc it’s not his info to share, but he’s definitely like “oh it’ll totally be fine. trust me you have no reason to worry” so Daniel’s just like Okay. I Got This

+ I know I mentioned this in dms but Daniel wld absolutely wear those floral ripped hem skirts over jeans, so I feel like on one of his visits to his dad’s, he just. wears that combined w a completely random niche graphic tee he bought when shopping w Adam (I adore this hc n I am Holding Onto It) n is just like. not super open abt it bc he doesn’t know what to expect? he just kinda waits fr Eric to comment on it but when he doesn’t, Daniel gets nervous n is like “do I look okay?” and Eric’s rly chill abt it, like “yeah! it looks vry cool, vry alternative.” n like Daniel is relieved, of course, but also he’s just like God Pls Say Something so he just comes out w it like “okay this is not working. I’m nonbinary.”

and he’s COMPLETELY SHOCKED when Eric is just like “oh why didn’t u say so? do u have a different name u wanna go by? is Daniel still okay?” bc he wasn’t sure how much Eric knew, so he’s just like “uh no Daniel is still good, he/they pronouns though” and Eric’s just like alright cool but internally Daniel’s just like ??????

n THAT is when Eric asks him 2 come sit out on th front steps w him n is just like. “I don’t think I ever told u this but I’m trans. I transitioned during training in my early 20s” n Daniel is nodding while internally he’s like Adam I’m gonna throttle u. he worked himself up fr NOTHING. he just kinda laughs abt it and Eric is like “are u good?” ‘cause he’s a lil worried but then Daniel just smiles and is like “yeah I’m fine! just realizing I had nothing 2 be worried abt” and it’s a rly good moment fr them. they sit out there together talking abt their experiences for quite a while n at some point Adam steps outside 2 find them deep in conversation + he just smiles n goes back inside bc he cares abt them both so much and seeing them talk like that makes him so 💞💞 (Eric is SO PROUD u can see it on his face)

ohhh gosh Mallick,,, I spend a lot of time thinking abt him actually. he’s just one of those characters I feel vry connected to (me 🤝 Mallick: Ambiguous Disorder 💕) n one I got surprisingly attached to? hello (he IS one of my f/os)

I feel like Mallick is a very lonely person at his core. the way he sort of clings to Brit (w out the whole like. adrenaline of being in very very real danger w ppl trying to kill u SEVERAL TIMES) somewhat confirms this fr me. this is someone who has no reason to look out fr him, no reason to keep protecting him when their fellow captives hit him over th head w a club or attempt to push him into a bathtub to ELECTROCUTE him, but she keeps doing it and he’s just. in awe of it a little bit? ‘cause she could just let Charles knock him tf out or let Luba push him in but she fights for him, some1 she has no obligation to n met fr the first time literally when they woke up.

the moment they share b4 they stick their arms into the saws to activate the 10 Pints of Sacrifice is so very vulnerable and maybe even a little tender. yes he calls her a monster, yes she calls him one back, neither of them deny it. it’s an admission and an acceptance. they’re monsters, sure, fine, okay. but they are monsters and they are in this together. Brit tells Mallick it’s okay when he says he can’t do this alone. she says okay, okay, it’s okay, we’ll go together. and they help each other secure their tourniquets and they stick their hands in together bc it’s the two of them, literally hand in hand, fighting for their lives n for each other n they’re in so so much pain but they are doing it TOGETHER. I lose it thinking abt it!!! they even have a head bonk moment!!! I very much feel like it has some cinematic parallels to Adam & Lawrence’s moment in SAW 2004!!!!

+ as u mentioned, we both share the thought that Brit likely died since she wasn’t present at Bobby’s meetings, and. I want to touch on how fucking despondent and lost Mallick looks when we see him again in 3D. lights on but no one’s home. I feel like for Mallick, losing Brit was losing the first chance at a real connection he’s had in god knows how long - and for him, that’s just very shattering. he’s been thru hell, he’s watched three people die right in front of him, he sawed his ARM IN HALF, n the person he went through all of that with didn’t make it. but he did. and I feel like for Mallick that’s just like... he doesn’t understand it. but he feels even lonelier than he ever has b4 because the One Person who was there w him thru it all, the one person who could ever possibly understand what happened that night, is gone.

the Mallick we see in V would NEVER sit down n willingly listen to Bobby Dagen’s bullshit abt loving yr scars n taking pride in the fact u survived. he wld hate that man with a passion n I am very much sure of this. the fact that he’s sitting in that chair looking numb and glassy-eyed and silent? Mallick is trying to find some1 to connect to, find a place where maybe he belongs. trying to fill that hole that losing Brit made. why else wld he be sitting there, listening to someone he would ordinarily tell to shove his self-love bullshit up his ass? he’s lost. he’s just trying to keep his head above water and find a way to shore even though everything in him is fighting not to. he’s adrift without her.

+ ALTERNATIVELY, bc the reality of that is just. crushing n maybe not where I needed 2 go, in the scenario where Brit survived + just doesn’t want to put up w Bobby’s bullshit, I imagine them to actually move in together after a lil bit of time getting 2 know each other better w out the pressure of “oh god we’re gonna die.” she kinda helps him build up a sense of self-worth bc GOD it’s practically non-existent n thinking abt possible reasons why makes me sad. she’s definitely just like “no, you do deserve to be cared for and you deserve help when you need it, you deserve good things n to be happy.” she just kinds shuts it down while still making sure to talk 2 him abt WHY he feels that way (she’s not dismissing, but she’s trying to nip it in th bud) n Mallick is just like. huh. bc no one’s really done that fr him before. but it rly does end up helping in the long run, even if it is a very slow pace toward actually getting 2 a place where he recognizes his own worth + realizes he deserves all the things he wants Brit 2 have too. they’re there for each other thru thick n thin and if they made it thru their game, they can make it thru anything.

#saw #art #daniel #eric #adam #mallick #brit #thank u so much I rly appreciated this #n it helped me get my mind off things a little #I'm rly glad my ask helped u too!!! mutual support hours #long post #thoughts separated by dashes bc I had Way More than I thought I did oops #asks

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sugarcarnation · 4 years

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thinking abt ur post about season 6 hevans......that would’ve been literally so perfect and way better than samchel and kalter. + the blangst of his ex fiance and (ex?) best friend dating......we could’ve had it all 😔

yeah we really could have....

i mean we all know glee makes some interesting choices sometimes but i don’t know what possessed the writers to make kalter a thing. it’s not like walter served a purpose beyond being able to make more jokes about kurt and old people and eventually giving kurt the big speech about returning to blaine. and honestly sam could have given that speech just as well. he’s one of the few main characters i trust to have enough emotional intelligence for this.

but anyway here are some more reasons for why season 6 hevans would have been amazing

we could have had canon bi sam.

kurt actually having an engaging and fun romance besides the one with blaine (sorry but adam was really not the most interesting midgame)

they’re coworkers. there could have been a cute office romance going on

i‘m pretty sure it’s canon that kurt at least somewhat knows how to play the guitar so i just imagine them both playing a song together

at some point sam is like yeah looking back on it i totally had a crush on you when i transferred to mckinley and kurt loses his mind

they also finally get to sing their duet together

kurt already knows sams family so maybe they visit sams siblings together and they’re just really happy to see kurt again

the first time kurt sees mercedes after they get together he has a moment of oh shit i’m dating mercedes ex but she’s just really entertained by it

sam shows kurt his macaroni art of him

the blangst you‘re so right. as much fun as im having with this i’m being pretty mean to blaine here. just imagine him realizing that kurt starts dating again and he’s dating sam?? ouch. but then again he’s currently dating karofsky so he doesn’t really have the higher moral ground here lol

also if we‘re going with my original idea of sam dating both rachel and kurt. imagine the hummelberry dynamic. they’d probably go from being really awkward with each other to wanting to kill the other one within seconds

imagine the three of them going on a date together. (oh god i just realized that would happen when blaine runs to kurt and tries to confess his feelings. take walter out and we’d have the exact same scene. oh god what if that’s the first time blaine realizes kurt and sam are dating???)

honestly though i’m just glad we got any hevans content at all even if it’s mostly background stuff. i’ve been obsessed with their relationship during this time period (be it platonic or romantic) ever since i read a fic that basically asked the question of why kurt is the one who got sam during the klaine break up. it truly was a life changing experience for me

#kurt hummel #sam evans #hevans #rachel berry #samchel #hummelberry #mercedes jones #blaine anderson #but really thank you so much for the ask 🥰#asks

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chubsonthemoon · 3 years

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tagged by @storybookprincess!! (thank you!!) here are some of my fave fics I’ve written! tbh this was kinda difficult; I am very aware that nothing I write is neither perfect nor very polished (it wouldn’t be even remotely fun for me if I tried to do that), but mostly everything I’ve written I’ve written for the sole audience members of me myself and I (and also sometimes a friend :3), so these are some of my more recent faves. under a cut because this got kinda long, whoopsie!

tagging! @superish, @dodici12, and @owletstarlet! <3

Letters from Heaven: haikyuu!!, kagehina, 60k

this fic was written for last year’s kghn big bang and it was so fun! It’s the longest thing I’ve written yet, and boy oh boy it was such a challenge to juggle a bunch of different things that I hadn’t done on this kind of scale before, like longer character arcs and, especially given that this is a violet evergarden AU, describing things in a way that fits with kyoani’s style and VibeTM. My last longer fic, thy kingdom come, was about half this length and almost made the list simply because of how bonkers it was (like I hadn’t written at all that year and suddenly signed up for a big bang and then had to take a month long break in the middle because of school stuff, and then boom I ended up writing the latter half of it a few days before the deadline LOL), but anyway. It’s not perfect (nothing is!) but it’s chock full of recurring metaphors and long-winded descriptions about the sky and pining out the wazoo (basically: all wildly self-indulgent things catered to me and me alone) and I love it all the same. (also bajillion thanks to janine for this one heh she is to blame for most of my kghn madness)

over the edge (of all our knowings): hunter x hunter, killugon, 13k

okay this one almost went to my other killugon fic again bc everything I write is so self-indulgent but!! this fic is probably one of the few fics that I set out to write very intentionally? that sounds weird, hmm how to explain. I tend to write fic mostly to let out Emotions but tbh it’s so much easier and way more fun for me to do that through reading other people’s works--less work for me to read abt my faves than to write them, after all! so most of what’s on my profile before this fic is exactly that: I sat down at like one in the morning with my notebook and fever-dream scribbled out a oneshot that I spent maybe the next two or three days typing up, reading over once, and then yeeting it up onto the archive. but not with this fic! I had already written my Vent fic for the boys in question, but my goals with this fic were more deliberately geared towards examining and changing up my approach to writing: 1) I really wanted to explore gon after the world tree and what his healing might look like, but gon is Really Hard for me to write (the boy is so!! ARGHSLKDFJ). So: deeply inhabiting unfamiliar character pov practice. Asking myself, after every single line of dialogue and event and inner monologue, how this character would react and why. How will this impact their next action? How will it impact their relationship with this other character? How about this? and this? and so on and so forth 2) I wanted to find a balance with my metaphors on both a sentence by sentence and an overarching basis (I tend to just go for the first--I can’t help it I love purple-y prose jslkdfj). 3) Time!! I also went a lot slower with this one. Every night for over a month, writing a little bit at a time in my notebook. And I found that going slower...is actually really nice? Takes a lot of the stress away. tldr; this fic was basically one long exercise in me examining my writing (also ngl my creative writing professor’s feedback on my work for class really kickstarted this LOL) and boy oh boy was it satisfying to see it posted when I finished. I learned a lot! Also I got some of the kindest comments that made me tear up, which was so wonderful. god this got long okay moving on.

your heart, bright heart: natsume yuujinchou, tanunatsu & gen, 7k

after over a year of quarantine I’ve read more fic than I ever have in my LIFE and I have figured some stuff out about what makes me go absolutely bonkers, writing-wise. this fic was an attempt, after several months of reading literally hundreds of fics across dozens of fandoms and relationships and pairings (like geeze! hxh, run with the wind, hq, yuri on ice, the great pretender, ouran highschool host club, snk, mdzs, final fantasy xv, and yes natsuyuu too LOL), an attempt at making myself go bonkers, if you will. and I still can’t quite put my finger on what it IS but I know it has something to do with the naming of things. like an author will Name a Thing, very specifically, whether it is an action or a character thought or something very simple about the environment--and that something speaks volumes about the character and their relationships and the core themes of the series and it’s like. it’s like there’s a moment of understanding between that character and the reader, an oh! I know what that means. it’s wonderful and I’m butchering the explanation here but anyway. I still have no idea how to do this myself yet but goddammit I’m gonna get there one day. This fic was my first attempt in the Naming of Things. idk if there are any oh! moments in it myself, but natsuyuu is the perfect series for the kind of quiet that I think you need for those small moments.

holy SHIT this got long uh. if you’ve made it this far--thank you?? this was also useful for me to articulate what the hell I’m doing in hamsterland. Recently a visiting poet came to one of my classes at university and talked about language-making as a physical art. Language has a physical existence, she said; it leaves the body and enters another and causes a physical reaction in both speaker and listener. She talked about how writers are creators of physical things, and how writing is mostly thinking before the creating. The physicality of language. To say it made me lose my marbles is an understatement!! tldr; there’s so much inspiration everywhere, and I wanna write more!!! So I’m gonna!!

#tag game #rambling #my fic

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janthonyashtoreth · 4 years

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Another big batch of asks!

Answering a bunch of asks under the cut! Most of them are ink and flowers centric. I hope you all are doing well <3

anonymous asked: wait wait hold up Anathema works in Azra's tattoo parlour?? amazing, when i was thinking of making my own florist/tattoo artist au, i also had Anathema be Aziraphale's apprentice :D i like when these two are friends. do you have any more headcanons about Anathema in ink and flowers?

she does!! she was doing an apprenticeship under him but has since graduated to doing her own thing (but she still works at his parlor). i can’t get into the whole plot because spoilers but angels/demons and agnes nutter’s prophecies still exist in the iaf universe, but anathema isn’t her descendant. instead, anathema is a wickedly smart computer genius and her boyfriend newt is an endearing but kind of inept descendent of agnes. anathema was azra’s good friend-turned-wingwoman once anthony shows up. i love her

anonymous asked: concept: aziraphale seeing crowley presenting femininely for the first time how'd you think he'd react? in your flower shop tattoo artist au

anonymous asked: OKAY totally not asking bc i may or may not have been thinkin abt this for like. too long. but would anthony have to like, come out as genderfluid to azra/how would azra react to seeing anthony present more fem for the first time

ooo ive been thinking about this as well! i dont think anthony would necessarily have a “coming out moment”, they just kind of do what they want. if they feel like presenting fem or using different pronouns they would just. do it. and azra would just kind of roll with it. i like to think that the first time anthony presented fem she got all dressed up for date night and didn’t tell azra and azra just Stares bc,,,, wow anthony is just gorgeous like that!! azra’s dead!!!

anonymous asked: You're a cutie pie. That's it. That's the fact.

:’ ) you’re a sweety pie!!!

anonymous asked: i deadass tried for 20 minutes to make the finger heart...... how did your friend do it......

i have absolutely no idea and it hurts my brain,,,

anonymous asked: Wahoo

wahoo.....

@alligatorsnbats asked: OK, so what's Oscar's thoughts on Anthony?

oscar LOVES anthony... he’s the worlds most apathetic cat but he actively seeks anthony out when hes around. azra is only slightly salty about it

anonymous asked: Is Anthony cross eyed?

he’s not! i made him a little bit cross-eyed in my latest post on purpose bc he was flustered but i dont know if it came across very well ;;

anonymous asked: not to be *THAT* bitch who comes into your ask box and gushes over your art but i love the way you colour things and your clean line work?? mwah. i wish i could draw like you its just so lovely

bfdkjfdh im cry,,,, just keep practicing my friend!!! i promise it’ll get you where you want to go. the last couple of months have been really nice for me in my ~art journey~ because its the first time i’ve ever really liked stuff that i’ve drawn. ive been drawing for about 7-8 years and this is only just happening and it varies so much from person to person!! some people get to where they want to go in 2 years, some people take 20. just don’t stop practicing!!

anonymous asked: your human!crowley deserves infinite appreciation and the fact that he has coloboma: that right there! is! good shit! he has snake eyes,,,, but as a human. u are a genius good sir and your art is a blessing 👌👌👌

haha thank you!! i think coloboma (i know how to spell it now!!) is such an interesting condition and it’s kind of underused for human aus!!! its so dope!!!

@bolitakawaii-senpai asked: what would crowley's and azi's fav emojies from the cursed emojis??

asking the real questions out here..... i think crowley’s would be the one with all of the teeth and aziraphale’s (assuming he knows what they are in the first place) would be the really cute one with big eyes and the pink hairbow

anonymous asked: concept for the ink and flowers au: something happens to crowley (imma b honest i have no idea) and has a lowkey crisis and chops all his hair off and just. joins his pet snake and snakes around the nursery untill azra comes in seeing crowley crying and cuddling his snake and yeah idk enjoy my the weird shit my brain comes up with

jhuyhaijodfaydgsihfujoi RIP TO THE HAIR...... i love the angst potential (and i can come up with a few reasons for the angst, but i digress) but i dont think i could part with anthony’s hair,,, i love it too much

anonymous asked: I can't handle your ink and flowers Aziraphale. I can't. His hair is TOO fluffy. His face is TOO squishy. He is EXTREMELY friend shaped. His glasses and his eyes are bright like SPARKLES. Every time I see him I want to go feral and show all my friends. I would hug him without letting go of given the chance. 1000000000/10. 💜🐝

anonymous asked: I have a cat just like Oscar (big himbo) and I got him some knit hats for Christmas and he's gonna hate me but I can't wait to dress him up like a little bee so: does Azra ever give Oscar like costumes or footies just for fun? If yes, does Oscar love or hate? 💜🐝

isldakfj im grouping these two together bc im assuming ur the same person anon!! i love your signature!!

you’re correct. his hair IS too fluffy, and he IS entirely too friend shaped. he has the BRIGHTEST eyes. i cant contain my rabid love for him and it spills out into the art. i can’t help it. he gives the best hugs

SLADKFJ YES HE DOES..... IVE BEEN MEANING TO DRAW THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE,,,, as i mentioned earlier oscar is the world’s most apathetic cat so i dont think he would care that much but he’s not super happy about it

anonymous asked: Y'know what? I'm too tired so say smth clever so just know that I love you and your art is amazing 💕💕 PS: i love that you also tag them as Ineffable partners (i guess the point is to be gender neutral)

i love you as well anon,,, and yeah i like the ineffable partners tag! i find that it fits more with their relationship for some reason. though i still tag as ineffable husbands since its such a popular tag lksdfjdfknjbh

anonymous asked: Hello! Fist of all thank you for yor art, you are one of my favorite artists in this fandom and I have Feelings about the Ink and Flowers AU. Second: Don't feel pressured to post daily, we understand that life is complicated and art can be difficult sometimes. Take care! You're the best!

anon i would die for you!!! i never imagined that i would ever be one of anyone’s favorite artists,,,,, im speechless,,,,,,,,

and yeah unfortunately i dont think ill be able to post every other day once this coming semester starts :( i’ll probably have to cut back to once every 3. but there’s more ink and flowers coming at u guys so!! stay tuned for that

anonymous asked: Good omens characters having a game night?

i know this was sent in for the au prompts i asked for but. i dont think im physically capable of capturing the pure chaos that would ensue from this. holy shit it would be so feral.

thank you to anyone who read this whole thing!! i read all of my asks as soon as i get them and i have a lot that i’ve been sitting on for a while. if you sent me something i promise i haven’t forgotten about it!! if you’ve sent something in that you were expecting a response to and i havent responded, just send it again to be safe in case tumblr ate it

i love all of you! <3

#ask me anything #anonymous #not art #ink and flowers au #bolitakawaii-senpai #alligatorsnbats

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sasgfs · 4 years

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ok wait actor/celebrity naruto/sns au i’m posting here bc ion wanna annoy ppl on my other social medias HEKJSJK

umm i have never done this before so just. look away this is literally just a stream of consciousness

- ok so i have in my mind that sakura, ino, naruto and sasuke are all childhood friends? and then they all met the rest of the group in college or sumn idk

- actress! sakura, actor! naruto and then i always imagined ino as like a make-up artist/stylist?? and then our boy sasuke is just vibing doing is own thing bc he hates the spotlight

- this is every celeb au i’ve ever read all in one bc i don’t see a sns ver out there

- i imagine both naruto and sakura do a bunch of genre’s of movies (like...all actors do bye i can’t think) but anYways they’ve both made it big and made names for themselves

- naruto and sakura have made it p obvious they’re good friends and ino is like lowkey famous on instagram bc of her clothes and make-up and sakura n naruto often make appearances (along w the rest of the group)

- so then naruto’s doing a live?? ig w ino and sakura and he shares an apartment w sasuke ofc and they’ve been together for like,, a long time (also inosaku is a thing bc lesbian rights!!)

- anyways he’s doing a live and they’re all doing smth stupid idk cooking in the kitchen and making a mess and sasuke comes home and the camera can’t see him but everyone turns to his direction

- ino and sakura are like aha hi we didn’t do anything and naruto is like hi babe

- and sasuke (off-camera) is like i’m never letting ANY of you into my apartment

- then naruto’s probably like don’t be like that </3

- MEANWHILE everyone on the live is like????? babe????? whomst????????

- the three of them are p open abt their sexualities and inosaku post cute couple pics all the time but naruto has always been v hush hush abt his relationship status (there was no reason really sasuke said he didn’t mind but naruto knows sas is a private person so he purposely said as little as possible)

- fast forward like,,idk a week and naruto is doing an interview and ofc he’s asked abt the whole babe thing and he’s like yeah i’ve been dating someone for like,,, since college and the interviewer is like pray tell but naruto isn’t saying anything until he can actually talk to sasuke abt it

- fast forward another couple of weeks and ino is releasing a new collection (i don’t know how stylists work pls dont hurt me) and she’s posted a new model??? (spoiler alert it’s sasuke)

- sasuke always had a good sense of style but his colour pallette is. limited let’s say so ino made him dress more colourful? i wanna say his usual style is alternative so pastel alternative????? like,, cargo pants or ripped jeans leather jacket kind of style except now it’s pastel? um anyways the point is the clothes are out of his comfort zone but he looks good because of course he fucking does

- the comments ofc freak out everyone’s like hello who are you how do you like your eggs in the morning i love you marry me (so like. me @ sasuke at any given moment)

- ino tagged him in the photo and his account is private but fans notice that both naruto and sakura follow him? (along with other famous™️ people in their group ig)

- behind the scenes sasuke comes home and is like i have a thousand ppl requesting me make it stop

- anyways next day ino posts pictures of naruto and plot twist naruto is dressed in all black like,, cargo pants, leather jacket, bicker gloves and everyone is like holy fuck. holy FUCK.

- side note sasuke wore eyeliner in his pics bc sasuke in eyeliner lives in my mind rent free and naruto probably had some eye look to contrast the black uh moral of the story eyeshadow and eyeliner is as sexy as hell on anyone and everyone

- so instead of being POLITE and letting people RECOVER from naruto and sasuke’s pictures ino posts more pictures of them. together. very close.

- naruto was nervous abt hate ofc bc people SUCK but when the pictures came out everyone was like HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL US YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS THIS HOT???

- ino posts some behind the scenes on her story and we witness sns being an old married couple

- literally a whole minute is just sasuke yelling at him for being an idiot what’s new

- but then there are others in between photos being taken and they’re just... so fucking cute oh my god you’ve got sasuke helping naruto with his jewelry and naruto feeding sasuke hello these two idiots are so in LOVE

- (you alr know one of the pictures was just them almost kissing you already KNOW)

- everyone online is just freaking out bc not only has our bi king got a boyfriend he is HOT and suddenly the entire fandom has a crush on him (him being sasuke wbk everyone is in love w naruto anyway)

- obviously the next interview naruto does he gets asked about sasuke and he’s just like yeah he’s my boyfriend and he’s amazing and gorgeous and

- then sakura’s like once you get him started on sasuke he’ll never stop

- and naruto’s like if YOU were dating sasuke you’d talk about him all the time as well

- have i mentioned they’re in love?

- so the interviewer’s like can u tell us more and of course naruto is like YES i can

- all four of them (sakura, ino, naruto and sasuke) have been friends since they were children and sasuke and naruto always had this weird rivalry enemies thing they were best friends

- sasuke was there for all of them but esp naruto always helping him with lines and helping him practice

- i always imagine sasuke to either be into art or smth rlly smart so for this let’s say he majored in some kind of science for college

- so naruto goes on about how amazing sasuke is for like five minutes no joke (w prompts from the interviewer and sakura)

- and all his fans are just so happy bc naruto seemed so happy when talking about him like he was glowing he was so in loveeee

- anyways after u know naruto is our here posting about sasuke 24/7 and even tho sas looks so unapproachable people see how much he loves naruto and visa versa

- in lives sasuke is always bickering w naruto about anything and everything and it always ends with a kiss on the cheek and a “you’re lucky i love you” :((

- suddenly naruto’s feed is just full of sasuke and pictures of them

- idk how to end this uhh sns are in love <3

#sasunaru #narusasu #sasuke uchiha #naruto uzumaki #headcanon??#texpost #celebrity au #actor au #what is this bye #an overuse of question marks #oh i have no idea what this is #i just love my boys so much #and i love celebrity aus #and i wanted both #inosaku mention #idiots in love <33 #just 10pm thoughts #ok im gonna shut up now #goodnight stan sasunaru

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kouzaires · 4 years

Note

For the ask game, answer all the questions you want to answer! I'm curious about the answers to all of them, but I'm not gonna ask them all, so you can just decide which ones you want to answer :)

AJDHDJDHKS THANK U FOR THIS FREEDOM. feel free to ask other questions or follow ups bc i super love talking abt my fics huhu <3

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

OKAY i know most of u follow me for botw but my absolute favorite fic is the one i wrote for the end of haikyuu’s manga run, “there’s a mountaintop (that i’m dreaming of)”!!!! haikyuu will always have such a huge piece of my heart and i was so happy that i got into fic writing bc it let me express my love for the series in a creative way <3 i wrote it in like three days at an intense speed (for me), and i love that it’s able to resonate with other fans too!

F: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

most of my fics rn are titled based on cool songs that get stuck in my head!!!!! so id really love it if ppl listen to the specific songs i mention in the author’s notes because i usu play them on repeat while writing for certain vibes

H: How would you describe your writing style?

always, always evolving. all my old works are simultaneously stuff i could never replicate and yet absolutely brimming with stupid mistakes, so rereading old work is kind of odd for me.

J: What’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it?

i mean i’m pretty into coffee shop aus (and to an extent, university aus) and yall know how that turned out HAHAHAHA!! but in general i have a Lot of fave tropes, not all of which i’ll probably end up writing about.

L: Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?

definitely “how does your garden grow?”, the ongoing mipha fic. it took me months to finish bc the last few chapters have so many intense scenes that i wasn’t always emotionally ready to write. plus, the fic itself was also rly long and i did struggle with tying together everyone’s motivations and storylines in a coherent way. but i’m glad i finished it before my summer ended!!!

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

i have a couple, but they’re all for the haikyuu fandom and i dunno if u guys can relate lol. i’m taking a break from botw fics for now!!

O: What are your thoughts on people writing fanfic of your fanfic? / S: How do you feel about fan art inspired by your writing?

I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER. FOR REAL. I ABSOLUTELY SUPPORT ANY OF THIS AS LONG AS YOU INFORM ME ABOUT IT SO I CAN SHOWER YOU WITH LOVE!!!!!

Q: Do you like getting prompts from your readers?

i dont mind it i guess? but only if they understand that i might not necessarily use them, or i could use them but for a different fandom or story. my writing is really heavily dependent on my personal interest to write a particular story, so i find it difficult to write solely bc another person told me to.

V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you?

all of them. but very specifically, the comments that talk about emotions or how the reader actually felt are my absolute favorites bc the idea that i was able to touch another person’s heart is just akdhdkhdlsjsl

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories? Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

well, i haven’t written so much that you could call it a trend exactly, but as of now it does seem like the stuff i was most passionate about also became the most popular. although i dunno how it’ll go with the mipha fic, because so far it’s not getting a lot of hits even if i poured so much time and effort into it y’know? then again, it really picks up in the latter chapters so eh

Z: Is there a story you’ve written that doesn’t seem to get much love?

as i mentioned, the mipha fic isn’t doing so well right now, though i’m hoping it’s just bc it’s unfinished at the moment!! aside from that, i also have to say the haikyuu goodbye fic? bc while it is my most popular story (given the large fandom size), i also think it’s not getting as much exposure as it could simply bc it’s a gen work and not shippy. plus, my tumblr post about it got almost zero notes so uh sad

bless u for asking me!! to everyone: pls feel free to join my ask memes huhu i love doing these things

#ask #ask meme #coffeeverse au #kinda

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clannfearrunt · 4 years

Note

Do you ever miss running shieldbird? I know it a dead blog but i like to think it holds some nice memories

Funny I was JUST talking abt how much I miss @shieldbird with a friend earlier in the week. I still stubbornly hold that it’s not DEAD it’s just. Sleeping. Waiting for me to reenter a Kirby phase so I can actually physically draw an orb

Theres several components to the inactivity on there:

1.) The Great Kindle Crash of 2018: I used to draw on my Kindle Fire. In the summer I think of 2018 (i think), my trusty Kindle Fire became stuck on a boot loop or whatever the proper term is. My only given choice to have a shot at possibly making the kindle operational again is to factory reset. I have yet to actually try that, but regardless I have effectively lost all of the original files for almost all my digital art up until that point, including all of my reference material for Shieldbird. I don’t remember what Galacta’s fucking house looks like which makes me sad

2.) Not to sound like I’m trying to blame the audience but none of the asks I had in the inbox was really ticklin the inspiration juice. That’s just my brain though it is a fickle thing

3.) Splatoon. As I’ve described in the past I have this cool curse that takes away my ability to draw a satisfactory Orb the moment I become focused on any other franchise, and Splatoon is an Other Franchise. :(

I miss my dumbass pigeon and Biospark though and I would genuinely LOVE to go back if my brain and hands would decide to bless me someday

#genuinely can't consistently remember my kirby shit in general #tho i'd probably want to rework a bunch of lore stuff at this point #which i can do freely BC I NEVER POSTED ABT ANY OF IT! WOW #shieldbird #Anonymous

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bo0zey · 4 years

Note

Pick your favorite questions from the list.

i will do them all for u 0.o

1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]

2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french

3. Age 20

4. Birthday december 17, 1999

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries

6. Gender female

7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats

9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian

11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!

12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers

13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol

14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??

15. Your relationship status single :D

16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person???

17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D

18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd

20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant

21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein

22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water

23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow

24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon

25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3

26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own

27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat

28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc

29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music

30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess

31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!

32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......

33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk

35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing

36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit

37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol

38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!

39. What does your last text message say? ‘ok thats a more than fair statement’

40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome

41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals

42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny

43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business

45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better

46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that

47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night

48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings

50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk

51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care

52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair

54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!

55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk

56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!!

57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020

60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,

62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no

65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone

66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho

68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books

70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki

71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf

73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades

74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool

76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna

77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain

78. Favourite platform? twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall

82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee

84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts

85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public

95. Cold or hot? cold

96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal

100. ..... or .....? ......?

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clexagiraffesandbrittana319 · 6 years

Text

Dancer Preview

About six months ago I teased a Prompt I was REALLY excited about. WELL I would like to share the FIRST chapter of that with you! It will be posted to Ao3 soon-ish. Until then... this is what I’m calling Dancer (for now.) Hope you enjoy.

Clarke Griffin sat in her Painting between Realism and Abstract Class, trying her best to keep her eyes opened. It was ten in the morning and she, Raven and Harper had been out till nearly three AM. It was the last week of school before spring break so parties were already happening. Nia, her professor whom was one of those just call me by my first name types, was going over their final projects.

“Any questions?” She asked.

Harper raised her hand.

“Harper?”

“So any form of movement?” Harper asked.

“Yes, but just one and only one model” Nia nodded.

“But multiple paintings?” Harper clarified.

“At least three, no more than five” Nia answered.

“Got it… dibs on Raven,” She leaned over and whispered to Clarke.

“What? No fair!” Clarke huffed, she had been banking on going with Raven to her MMA class and using her as her model.

“I already asked her anyways, you can ask Octavia” Harper said.

“She’s my best friend!” Clarke wined.

“You like O” Harper said “she does jiu jitsu as well as MMA, it will be cool.”

“Why don’t you do O?” Harper asked.

“Because” was all Harper would say.

“Fine” Clarke sighed.

“Well, then I am done here. You can either stay and sketch or go” Nia said, “Have a great vacation I will see you in two weeks.”

“Two weeks!” Harper said, “I’m so excited.”

“Me too” Clarke said. “Though I still have one more class today… and two tomorrow.”

“I don’t think you do today, Jaha isn’t here anymore.” Harper said as they walked out of the room.

“No?” Clarke asked.

“Nope, big sign on the door… he left after his intro to drawing class, the advance classes are cancelled.”

“Thank god I need a nap, can I go back to Ludlow with you?”

“I’m going to go to the library” Harper said.

“Can I go back there and nap?” Clarke asked. “I don’t want to go all the way back uptown.”

“Yeah no problem, I will be back in a few hours.”

“Sweet, wake me when you get there?” Clarke smiled sweetly.

“Kay, see you.” Harper said.

Ludlow was one of the on campus housing buildings and Harper had a single. Clarke often hung out there when she had time in between classes or when Raven was gone for the night.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Raven: Are we going to Grounder tonight?

Grounder was a bar that was near her and Raven’s apartment, they often hung out there.

Raven: 2 for 1 cause it’s ladies night!

Clarke: Sounds good to me Im currently getting ready to nap at Harpers… by the way… why did you tell her you would be her subject for our painting final?!?! IM YOUR best friend Rae!

Raven: She asked me, I didn’t know it was something you had to do too. I can tell her no…

Clarke: No it’s fine. I will just see if Octavia will do it…

Raven: I’m sure she will…

Clarke: I think she will too. But… im just more comfortable with you. Yeah she’s one of my good friends now but I was her friend threw you first… I don’t want it to be weird.

Raven: You’re not proposing, just asking if you can paint her.

Raven: … Ohhhhh I see it now, that does sound a little creepy.

Raven: Can I paint you like one of my French girls Octavia? Hahahaha.

Clarke: Going to sleep now. Bye ass.

Raven: When you coming home?

Clarke: I will be home when you get home.

Raven: I will be home at 2:15 just so you know.

Clarke: Check. goodnight… I love you.

Raven: Yeah yeah…

Raven: I love you too Whore

Clarke walked into Grounder that night, she had gotten there a little after Raven and Harper.

“Hey” Clarke said walking to the booth where her friends were.

“Lots of people here tonight” Raven said.

“Yeah” Harper said. “Newbies it looks like.”

“Spring break I think” Clarke said, “Bringing a lot of people in…”

“Hey people” Octavia said walking over with her arm in a sling.

“What did you do?” Raven asked her.

“Oh Lincoln threw me against a wall…” the tall dark haired girl said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Ya know, you really shouldn’t justify relationship abuse” Raven shook her head with a laugh.

“Shut up” Octavia said. “We were in the gym sparring and he flipped me and I twisted and landed against the wall, it’s my Collarbone.”

“Broken?” Clarke asked.

“Yep” Octavia nodded.

“Jesus and you’re here?” Harper laughed.

“It doesn’t hurt that bad” Octavia shook her head brushing it off.

“How long are you out of the ring?” Raven asked.

“Like a month or so, probably. Maybe more…” Octavia shrugged, “Fucking pisses me off so much.”

“Well maybe you can’t paint her like one of your French girls” Raven said to Clarke.

Harper laughed so hard she almost spit her drink out.

“What?” Octavia asked.

“It’s for a final project; we have to paint movement in some form. Harper stole Raven so I was going to ask you.” Clarke explained.

“I’m sorry” Octavia said. “I’m sure Lincoln or Indra would be down, oh or Lexa do you know Lex?”

Clarke shook her head.

“Yeah she’s my best friend, ballerina and shit too, that could be cool to paint, right?” Octavia said.

“Yeah cool and not at all weird to ask a complete stranger to be your model” Clarke laughed.

“Lexa is gorgeous” Raven said, “You should totally paint her.”

“You know her?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah she takes jiu jitsu with us sometimes” Raven sipped her drink.

“A ballerina takes jiu jitsu?” Harper asked.

“Yeah, it’s good for her coordination and shit” Octavia said. “She’s coming tomorrow you should come, I will introduce you.”

“Okay, sounds good” Clarke said.

Lexa just finished her last ballet class of the day, “Great class guys” Dianna said as Lexa walked over to her stuff and grabbed her water bottle.

“What are you doing tonight?” Becca asked taking a drink of her water as well.

“Nothing, going home showering and going to bed.”

“I hear it's ladies night at Grounder, wanna go?”

“No, I have class at--”

“Nine AM, I know I am in all the same classes you know” Becca smiled. “You could stand to have a little fun Lexa.”

“I do have fun” Lexa said. “Tomorrow I go to jiu jitsu.”

Becca just shook her head. Lexa had been a principal dancer at ABT for four years now and took it very seriously.

“You know, as long as I have been here I don’t think I have ever seen you let loose, not even a little” Becca said. “You don’t even take the contemporary class.”

“I don’t see the need for it” Lexa shrugged.

“It’s fun and another form of dance, just because it isn’t required or as disciplined as ballet” Becca said. “Let that hair down, Alexandria.”

Lexa just smiled, “I will see you in class tomorrow.”

She grabbed her dance bag and headed out the door. She couldn’t help it, it’s not that she didn’t want to make friends it was just… harder for her. She had always attributed it to the way she was raised, or wasn’t for the first part of her life. She grew up in a group home in San Francisco California until she was fourteen, that’s when her older sister Anya turned eighteen and was able to take guardianship of her. Anya and ballet were all she ever had; the friends part was harder for her, though she had a few close friends now that she lived in New York. Her best friend was Octavia Blake, whom she met through a jiu jitsu class she happened upon three years ago. Another instructor there named Indra, who was a few years older than she was, was also her friend, and now Octavia’s friend Raven, whom she liked pretty well so her circle was expanding. Since Costia though she just didn’t do much… going out.

“Hello” She said walking into her and Anya’s loft.

“Hi” Anya said, “How was dance?”

“Good, I took seven classes today.”

“Good lord Lexa, Why?” Anya laughed.

“I gotta keep in shape” Lexa shrugged. “We don’t have any performances we are working on right now, so we just take class all day... Anyhow, how was your day?”

“Good, I had court for an eight year old little girl who is getting placed permanently this week.” Anya told her.

“Wonderful” Lexa said opening the fridge.

“I made your dinner it’s in the oven keeping warm” Anya told her.

Lexa pulled the plate out of the oven, and removed the foil to see a piece of salmon, green beans and roasted sweet potatoes.

“Thank you,” Lexa said sitting down on the bar stool.

“Your welcome” Anya said.

Lexa’s phone beeped from her dance bag, “Do you want me to grab that for you?” Anya asked.

“If you don’t mind” Lexa nodded taking a bite of food.

Anya handed her the phone a moment later and she checked the message, it was from Octavia.

Octavia: Hey, my friend Clarke is in art school and she has to do her final project on Art and Movement or whatever… She was going to ask me but I broke my collarbone and am out for a month or so. I told her she should ask you since you do ballet and shit can I give her your number?

Lexa: Ballet and shit… Nice.

Lexa: What does she have to do, just draw me?

Octavia: Yeah, I think paint you dancing…

“That’s weird” Lexa said aloud.

“What is?” Anya asked.

“It was Octavia. Apparently a friend of hers has to do a final for Art School on movement and since O broke her collarbone she suggested she paint me.”

“That sounds pretty cool actually, to have someone paint you dancing,” Anya said.

“You don’t think it is… weird, I don’t know her” Lexa shrugged.

“I think you need to meet new people, Lex.”

Lexa thought about it for a moment then texted Octavia back.

Lexa: Sure you can give her my number, yeah.

Clarke crawled into bed around eleven thirty that night, she had decided not to stay out too late since the night before they had closed down the bar and she was exhausted. She put her phone on her nightstand and plugged it in, when she remembered Octavia had given her the number of that girl… Lexa. She grabbed her phone and found the number and sent her a text.

Clarke: Hi, this is Clarke Griffin. Octavia gave me your number.

She felt like she should have said more but didn’t know what to say, this way at least the girl had her info as well. She put her phone down and rolled over to close her eyes when her phone beeped.

Lexa: Hi Clarke, I am Lexa. It’s nice to… meet you … I guess… kinda.

Clarke: It’s nice to kinda meet you too. :) I hope I didn’t wake you…

Lexa: Nope, I was just stretching before bed.

Stretching, this girl was dedicated Clarke thought.

Clarke: Always on ballerina mode?

Lexa: I guess you could say that.

Clarke: How long have you been dancing?

She didn’t know why she kept the conversation going, but it felt… natural.

Lexa: Since I was eight, I have been with ABT for four years now.

Clarke: Wow… Octavia said you were a ballerina but I didn’t realize you were like a real ballerina and shit… ABT that’s a major company.

Lexa: Yes, yes it is. Ballet is kind of my job :)

Clarke: Well Im sure you’re amazing then, if you don’t have time for this I completely understand…

Lexa: I think I will, what all will it entail?

Clarke: I need to paint you dancing. So I would need to watch you dance… come to classes if possible… maybe even do some one on one things so I can sketch a bunch of stuff out pre-paint.

Lexa: That sounds doable.

Clarke: Great… do you want to meet for coffee tomorrow sometime to talk?

Lexa: I could do coffee, when are you free. I have a window between two and four PM, and then am available after seven.

Clarke: I have class till 1:30. so I could do 2… But I could also do later tomorrow night… Whatever you prefer.

Lexa: I’m done with jiu jitsu at seven.

Clarke: I can meet you there after and we can head to coffee or even dinner at that point? Raven is going to be there tomorrow… I think… so I’ll know where I’m going.

Lexa: You know Raven?

Clarke: Yes, She’s my best friend… since we were nine. You know Rae?

She knew she did, why did she ask that?

Lexa: Just threw Octavia and jiu jitsu, yes.

Clarke: Ohhhhh that makes sense.

Lexa: Okay, so I will see you tomorrow then.

Clarke: Sounds good.

Lexa: Okay well I should get to bed, I have ballet at nine tomorrow morning.

Clarke: Yeah… I have class at eight. See you tomorrow Lexa.

Lexa: Goodnight Clarke.

Lexa woke the next morning around six and went into the kitchen, Anya was up drinking a cup of coffee already, “Morning.”

“Morning” Lexa smiled.

“Ballet early?” Anya asked.

“Nine is class, but I am going to get there early and dance,” Lexa told her.

“Okay” Anya said.

“I won’t be home for dinner tonight” Lexa said pouring water into the tea kettle.

Anya just looked at her to continue.

“After jiu jitsu tonight I’m going to go to dinner with Clarke” Lexa said her name as if they had been friends always.

“Clarke?” Anya asked.

“Octavia’s friend, the art student.”

“You’re going to dinner?” Anya asked, “I thought she was going to paint you dancing…”

“She is” Lexa nodded, “But she asked if I wanted to go to coffee or dinner to talk about things.”

“When did you talk to her?”

“Last night, we texted before bed” Lexa told her.

“You texted her?” Anya asked with a look.

“Yes” Lexa nodded putting a slice of bread in the toaster. “What’s with you why are you acting all weird?”

“I’m not… I’m just well... glad.” Anya said.

“That I texted her, or that I am going to dinner with her?” Lexa asked.

“Both” Anya smiled, noting that Lexa was looking in the fridge. “I ate the half of avocado that was in there.”

Lexa shut the refrigerator and glared at her.

“Relax there is a new one” Anya pointed to the hanging fruit basket.

“Thank you” Lexa said walking over to the basket and rising up on her tiptoes to get it.

“Of course you had to relevé to get it” Anya laughed.

“I almost piqued to it, but ya know” Lexa said with a smirk.

“Too much for six am?”

“Maybe slightly” she shrugged.

“I’m surprised you aren’t in your leotard and tights already” Anya sipped her coffee.

“Too early” Lexa said mashing up the avocado and putting it on her toast. “I don’t want to get them all avocado-ey”

“I don’t think that’s a word dear sister” Anya laughed.

“Oh well” Lexa shrugged, “Do you know if my black leo is clean?”

“That narrows your question down to about three hundred leotards, Alexandria” Anya rolled her eyes.

“The new strappy one... I put it in the laundry room yesterday and you said ‘I will wash that for you’.”

“Then yes, it’s in the clean laundry basket at the foot of your bed” Anya said.

“You are the best!” Lexa said kissing her sisters cheek before she Chaîné turned to get a glass from the cupboard.

“I’m aware of that fact” Anya said. “I gotta shower and then get to the office; I will see you tonight then.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what time but not late though I am sure.”

“Have a good time Lexa, be a normal twenty four year old for once instead of a prima ballerina.”

Lexa just scoffed as Anya went up the stairs.

“WHY?” Raven yelled Clarke’s alarm went off.

“Because unlike you, I have classes today” Clarke said sitting up wiping the sleep from her eyes.

“Turn it off and lay back down and snuggle me back to sleep!” Raven wined.

Clarke wasn’t sure when Raven ended up in her bed, but she wasn’t surprised waking up beside her. Raven often ended up in her bed.

“Rae, I have to go to class!” Clarke said firmly, as she snuggled back in next to her.

“What are we doing tonight?” Raven asked yawning.

“I’m going to dinner with Lexa,” Clarke said.

“You are?” Raven asked.

“Yes, I texted her last night and we talked a little. We decided to go to dinner tonight after she’s done with jiu jitsu and talk more.”

“You like her!” Raven said.

“I don’t know her Raven, so I can hardly like her” Clarke laughed.

“Well you will, she is gorgeous and nice, she’s quiet though… very serious.”

“That doesn’t sound like my type at all” Clarke shook her head.

“You just wait and see” Raven smiled with her eyes closed.

Clarke kissed her forehead, “Okay crazy, we’ll see. But I gotta get up and get ready now.”

“Booo” Raven said.

“If you wanted a snuggle buddy you should’ve brought O back, you know I have class” Clarke said.

“She went to Lincoln’s” Raven mumbled.

“Well then we need to get you a snuggle buddy” Clarke said.

“I have you” Raven said.

“Well I have to go, if you’re still in bed in three hours then I will snuggle you more.”

“I will be” Raven informed her.

Clarke laughed, “Of course you will be.”

“Come get in bed with me when you get home?” Raven asked.

“Yes, love… Will do, Goodbye I love you.”

“Love you, butt head” Raven mumbled from underneath her blankets.

“Balancé, balance, pique…through, double pirouette, land then triple. You’re going to add that onto the combination we just did, have it?” Hannah asked the class.

Lexa loved barre and floor, it was her favorite class.

“Good” Hannah said, “group A on the floor first.” The music started and Hannah counted, “And five, six, seven, eight.”

Lexa absolutely loved everything about ballet, from the discipline down to the smallest movement, she felt free and control all at the same time when she danced.

“Becca, turn out!” Hannah hollered as they danced. “Shoulders down Bree.” “Very nice Lexa!”

The combination came to an end and Lexa walked off the floor as the other group walked onto it. She grabbed her water bottle off the ground by the bar taking a sip. Becca was leaned with her back against the ballet bar, and looked over to Lexa. “Want to go to TonDC tonight?”

“Can’t” Lexa whispered, not taking her eyes off the other girls. She wasn’t much for talking while in class and Becca knew that, but she didn’t care.

“Why? Come on Lexa, you never do anything fun…”

“I told you I have jiu jitsu tonight” She said quietly. “Plus after I’m going out to dinner with… a friend.”

Sure Clarke wasn’t really a friend yet, but she more than likely would be, Lexa thought.

“Okay, well we need to make plans for this weekend” Becca said.

“I’ll see what I can do” Lexa nodded and then glanced to the wall to check the clock for the time. That’s when she saw her, standing there at the viewing window. Her stomach dropped, Costia. She knew she would have to see her after the breakup, whenever Costia came back to the city, but it always took her by surprise.

“Costia” Hannah smiled when she turned around and saw her, “Come in here.”

Great.

“How are you?” Hannah asked the girl.

“I’m well” Costia smiled.

“Great, are you here for the spring preview week?”

“Yes” She nodded. “Then back to Europe.”

Costia was selected as one of the principal dancers to go to Europe for four years, to preform and study there. It was a new program they were offering at ABT, and one of the main reasons their relationship had ended… Well That and the fact that Costia decided it would be fun to sleep with Maddie, another Lead at ABT, before they left.

“Come take class?” Hannah asked.

“I don’t have shoes or anything, but I’d love to watch…” Costia said eyeing Lexa whom was trying her best to avoid any sort of eye contact.

“That would be great, stay, sit.” Hannah said.

“Hey” Clarke said as she slid back into bed with Raven, who just as she promised, was in bed still when she got home.

“Hi” Raven rolled over and brushed the dark hair out of her face, so she could see Clarke.

“Today sucked” Clarke sighed.

“Oh no, why?”

“I will give you three guesses, and you more than likely won’t need the last two…”

“Why is he such a douchebag? What happened?” Raven sighed.

“He asked if he could come over here tonight…” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“The fuck… Why?!” Raven asked.

“Because he’s Finn… I mean really there is no other explanation necessary. I told him I wouldn’t be home, and then he said… well Rae will be right?”

“Um, yeah… no.” Raven scoffed. “Why did either of us sleep with him, ever?”

“I don’t know, and the fact that he got away with sleeping with the both of us for three weeks really still pisses me off” Clarke nearly growled.

“Right, he’s so proud of himself for it too, like he slept with best friends and we didn’t put it together for nearly a month!” Raven said.

Clarke snuggled into her best friends side and sighed. “So if he comes around here tonight while I’m gone, don’t let him in.”

“Eeww never,” Raven said “and I won’t be here.”

“Where are you going?”

To TonDC, Harper Octavia and I are going… You should meet us after you go to dinner with Lexa.”

“Maybe I will, I can see if she wants to come as well…”

Raven laughed, “Lexa won’t come to Ton!”

“Why?” Clarke asked.

“Because she’s Lexa, she doesn’t do things like that. She’s all ballet, seriously… jiu jitsu is her fun.”

“Well, that sounds like a challenge” Clarke said with an eyebrow wiggle.

“Clarke Abigail Griffin” Raven said. “I don’t think you can crack this one…”

“We’ll see” Clarke said.

Lexa had just gotten done with her class at two and booked it out of the studio while Hannah was talking to Costia, because the last thing she wanted to do was to have to stop and make small talk with her ex.

She got to her car and checked her phone, pleasantly surprised to see she had a few texts from Clarke.

Clarke: Hi! looking forward to meeting you tonight. Raven and O both tell me great things… Where do you want to go for dinner?

And another

Clarke: I’m going to just come to class with Rae and hang out there, so I will see you at 5:30.

She smiled, unsure of why this stranger was causing her to smile, but shrugged it off and texted her back.

Lexa: I’m looking forward to it as well, Clarke. I’m game for pretty much anything for dinner. What do you feel like?

--------------

“She texted me back” Clarke said. Her and Raven we’re still curled up in bed, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix.

“Why are you so excited?” Raven asked. “You don’t even know this girl, or what she looks like?”

“Why does it have to be about looks, can’t I just be excited to make a new friend?”

“Why do you need new friends? I’m all you’ll ever need, Clarke” Raven said.

Clarke laughed, then checked her text and replied.

Clarke: What’s your favorite kind of food?

“Why is it always Cordy who is getting chased by the monsters? She’s always in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Raven said.

“It’s Cordelia, what do you expect? And I think that Zander has had it pretty bad too, he always falls for these women who turn out to be insects or something supernatural” Clarke said. “Then you have the whole Anya thing…”

Raven laughed, “You’re right.”

Lexa: Mexican, but not from here. West coast Mexican food.

“She’s from the west coast?” Clarke looked to raven excited.

“Yeah… San Fran I think.” Raven said.

Clarke: Oh god, I know just what you mean… worst part of leaving southern Cali was giving up the Mexican food…

Lexa: You’re from the west coast too? that’s crazy.

Clarke: Yes! I don’t miss it too much, just the beach and mexican food…

Lexa: Agree. What’s your favorite thing to eat over here?

Clarke: Either… Pizza or… Chinese.

Lexa: Lets do pizza?

Clarke: Sounds great. You wanna go to Tipsy Tomato?

Lexa: never been there, but sounds great.

Clarke: We have to then... it’s one of my favorites.

Lexa: That works for me. I will see you in a little bit then. Are you taking class?

Clarke: UM No!!!! Just watching.

Lexa: Why not? Scared? ;)

Clarke: I have ZERO coordination… believe me.

“Seriously, Cordelia… don’t go in there!!!!!” Raven yelled at the Tv.

Clarke laughed, “You’ve seen this episode at least ten times, you know she does!”

Lexa: Okay, I just got done with Ballet and have time to kill before class.

Clarke: Are you there already?

Lexa: No, I’m going to try and sneak back into the studio and dance some more. But there is someone I really don’t want to run into.

Clarke: Who?

Lexa: My ex-girlfriend.

“Is Lexa a lesbian or bisexual?” She looked to Raven.

Raven shrugged, “I’m pretty sure she’s a lesbian, does it matter?”

“Not one bit, just curious” Clarke shook her head.

“SERIOUSLY CORDY!!!! NO!!” Raven shook her head.

Clarke: Eeww, exes are the worst.

Lexa: Agreed.

Clarke: Rae and I are watching Buffy in bed, being completely lazy. So props to you if you go dance.

Lexa: I don’t know if I will to be honest.

Lexa: I’ve never seen Buffy.

Clarke: WHAT? We MUST fix that! And I’m sorry… I could tell you wanted to dance… How long were you and this girl together?

Lexa: two years, and it’s okay. I have already danced for six hours today.

Lexa: And okay, I’m up for watching it.

Clarke: SIX HOURS, good lord Lexa… And two years is a good chunk of time. When did you break up?

Lexa: a year ago, I’ve totally moved on. I just don’t want to see her.

Clarke: That’s understandable…... I just saw my ex today. He’s an ass.

Lexa: I’m sorry.

Clarke: It’s okay. But he really is the worst… its a long story, I will tell you in person sometime if you ever want to know… lets stop talking about our exs for now though.

Lexa: Gladly, what would you like to talk about Clarke?

Clarke and Lexa ended up texting for over an hour. Lexa never went back into the studio partly because she was afraid of running into Costia, also because she was really enjoying texting with Clarke. She was so easy to talk to, though she didn’t know why, she didn’t question it.

Clarke: Are you here?

Lexa: Almost, are you there already?

Clarke: Yeah we just got here… Octavia and Rae are being mean and said they weren’t going to point you out to me... and I had to guess who you were.

Lexa: I’ll come say hi when I get there, I promise.

Clarke: :) I have really enjoyed texting you today.

Clarke: I’m looking forward to hanging out w/you tonite

Lexa: Same. I’m pulling in.

Clarke: Okay.

Clarke had no idea why she was so nervous, she and Lexa had texted for over an hour about tons of things, she already felt like she knew this girl.

“She’s here” She said to Raven. “She just pulled up.”

“Are you texting her?” Octavia asked.

“They have been texting alllll afternoon” Raven told Octavia.

“I seriously think you two would be amazing together” Octavia said. “Lexa needs someone like you, Clarke.”

Clarke blushed slightly, and rolled her eyes. “Guys we’re just meeting… slow down.”

Octavia looked to the door and Clarke looked to see one of the most gorgeous women she had ever seen walking in the door. She was tall and Clarke thought she looked like a Greek goddess, her chestnut curls were pulled up into a ponytail, and she was wearing a pair of charcoal grey yoga pants that sat low at her hip bones, and stopped before her ankles. On top she wore a black tank top with a sports bra on underneath it that didn’t make it all the way down to the top of her pants, so she could see a perfect amount of skin. Clarke couldn’t take her eyes off her perfect shoulders and neck. She stood tall and it was noticeable she was a ballerina from the way she held herself even as she walked.

“Hi” Lexa said walking right up to her, pulling her out of her mini-trance. “Clarke?”

“Hey” Clarke nodded. “Lexa?”

Lexa smiled slightly and Clarke couldn’t not stare into her perfectly green eyes, but shook herself out of it, and hugged the slightly taller girl standing in front of her.

“Nice to meet you in person” She said.

“You also” Lexa said letting her hands wrap around the blonde. Normally she would find this extremely awkward as she wasn’t a touchy feely person, but for some reason with the gorgeous blonde in her arms, it felt natural. “Hi” She said to Octavia once she had let go of Clarke.

“Hey” Octavia said giving her the regular side hug she normally did.

“I didn’t think you’d be here” Lexa gestured to her arm.

“I can’t do much I’m going to hang with Clarke, and watch.”

“Watch Lincoln” Raven clarified.

“Hi Raven” Lexa said to the smaller brunette.

“Hey Lexa” Raven smirked at her, as if to say I know what you’ve been doing all day.

“How was dance?” Octavia asked Lexa.

“Great, well… for the most part” Lexa looked to Clarke.

“Did you ever see her again?” Clarke asked.

“No” Lexa said, “Thank god.”

“Right? I get that,” Clarke smiled.

“Wait what?” Octavia asked.

“Costia, I’ll fill you in later” Lexa said.

“You’d better!” Octavia smiled.

“I gotta go put my bag down and get my shoes off, I’ll see you after class.” Lexa smiled to the blonde.

“I’ll go with” Raven said and then both girls headed onto the floor.

“What was that?” Octavia asked.

“What?” Clarke asked.

“She just... full on gave you eyes. I haven’t seen Lexa give anyone eyes… ever. And I had seen her when she was with Costia.”

Clarke shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Mmmhmmm” Octavia smirked, “She likes you! What did you guys talk about today?”

“A lot of stuff… her childhood, her sister Anya, Ballet and Costia.”

“Lexa? You were talking to Lexa right?” Octavia asked sounding surprised.

“Yes Octavia… why?” Clarke asked.

“I didn’t even hear about her childhood until we had been friends for like a year… she’s just very, reserved.”

“She was quite open about it today” Clarke shrugged. “Who’s teaching today, Linc?” She asked changing the subject.

“Indra” Octavia shook her head.

“She scares me” Clarke smiled.

“Careful then, she loves Lexa, and kinda… looks out for her.”

“Oh great” Clarke said.

“You DO like her!” Octavia smiled.

“Shut up, Octavia!” Clarke rolled her eyes.

Thoughts? This is just a preview, this story WILL be posted on AO3 within the next month or so. (I have to get some of my other projects finished before I post this and I would like to have it Completed or very close before I post. Though I do have a lot written!)

Much love to you all, and as ALWAYS thank you for ALL your support!

137 notes · View notes

jcox · 6 years

Note

For the horrible questions: whichever ones are most significant to you/you want to answer

this is so old i know but i finally got around to it and i just.. did all of them. so

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

~ yeah!

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

~ probably my mom

03: Do you regret anything?

~ Many Things lmao!! i can think of atleast like 4 things just today that i regret

04: Are you insecure?

~ sometimes but it’s something i’m working on

05: What is your relationship status?

~ Singol!

06: How do you want to die?

~ I Don’t (but like, probably in my sleep when i’m like 113)

07: What did you last eat?

~ avocado toast!!!!!!

08: Played any sports?

~ and enjoyed none of em

09: Do you bite your nails?

~ yah :-/

10: When was your last physical fight?

~ i did karate for a bit does that count

11: Do you like someone?

~ unfortunately

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

~ never.. a bich needs SLEEP

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

~ i try not to use that word but there r ppl i think should shut the fuck up

14: Do you miss someone?

~ YEP lmao

15: Have any pets?

~ 2 beautiful angel cats

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

~ Hungry

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

~ never made out period

18: Are you scared of spiders?

~ nah.. only black widows bc they’re kinda common where i live and i read that nancy drew book where she legit almost dies after getting bitten by one.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

~ probably not

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

~ never done it :-(

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

~ HOPEFULLY hanging out w a friend in the city

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

~ probably just one

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

~ just my ears

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

~ english and history/psych r the SHIT. also french is fun

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

~ yeah but i try not to dwell on it

26: What are you craving right now?

~ hmmm chicken pot pie. but when am i not craving chicken pot pie tbh

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

~ i hope not lmfao!

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

~ no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

~ not to my knowledge

30: What’s irritating you right now?

~ the fact that i’m procrastinating a shit ton of things and am answering these instead

31: Does somebody love you?

~ many people and i’m so FUCKING grateful

32: What is your favourite color?

~ pink!!!!!!

33: Do you have trust issues?

~ i trust too easily and then regret it :-/

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

~ i think it was just abt a friend of mine

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

~ my friends whom i Miss because i knew i would miss them

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

~ yeah :-/

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

~ i prefer forgiving

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

~ i don’t know! i’m gonna say yes though :D

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

~ it hasn’t FUCKING happened yet and i’m honestly so bitter.. @ cute girls please.. hmu..

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

~ no???

51: Favourite food?

~ pasta is so good. we stan pasta

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

~ Yes!

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

~ most likely watched horrible youtube videos

54: Is cheating ever okay?

~ no

55: Are you mean?

~ i try not to be but i can come across that way especially with men i don’t know bc i instinctively don’t trust them

56: How many people have you fist fought?

~ only the people in karate when i was like ten lmfao

57: Do you believe in true love?

~ Yes!!!!!!

58: Favourite weather?

~ summer storms or sun!!!

59: Do you like the snow?

~ yeah!

60: Do you wanna get married?

~ i think so

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

~ if a girl called me babe or baby i’d die like my heart would stop

62: What makes you happy?

~ beautiful girls (read: all girls), my friends, words, the sun, art, lemon-flavored things, the color pink, flowers, dresses with pockets, sparkles, rose-scented perfume, music, trixie dela and pep, my cats

63: Would you change your name?

~ not legally for now. madi is a nickname but it’s rlly easy to tell ppl b/c it’s a rlly common nickname. idk if i’d change my name if i get married

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

~ i hate these kiss questions :-/ but i’ll broaden it from romantic kisses and say no

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

~ I Know Him and he wouldn’t LMFAO

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

~ YES see above he’s so cool and kind. he’s the One Good Cishet Man! also my brother who is an Icon

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

~ my Father

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

~ last Super deep convo was with four rlly good friends of mine! it lasted legit 2 hours and we talked about Everything it was so fun i miss them :’-)

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

~ platonic and otherwise! and multiple in a lifetime! these r things i believe very firmly

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

~ idk about Litcherally but i joke abt it all the time and in that sense So Many

#:-) thabk you #answered #anonymous

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crunchta · 6 years

Note

1-70 BINCH

Goddamn it sned

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Yeah? For the most part

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My parents

03: Do you regret anything?

Yeah

04: Are you insecure?

Eh, yes ? Only abt a few things.

05: What is your relationship status?

Single

06: How do you want to die?

Either by a heart attack or stroke, or in a sword fight. Or by doing something badass

07: What did you last eat?

Bagels

08: Played any sports?

Soccer, basketball, horseback riding and I’ve been wanting to do track since the 8th grade

09: Do you bite your nails?

10: When was your last physical fight?

A couple days ago with my brother

11: Do you like someone?

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Nope

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

My parents always taught me that hate and love are very strong words and to use them only when you mean it. But no I don’t hate anyone

14: Do you miss someone?

Yeah. Friends and others.

15: Have any pets?

A cat! Named Diana, after Wonder Woman

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I feel like I’m always slightly anxious or paranoid idk. But Im watching tv and taking science notes and I’m gonna make my Mom naan bread so I’m ok rn

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Nope

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Fuck yes

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Definitely

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

France

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Yesterday I went horseback riding and went to the mall and today I have hw and am gonna make a lot of food lmao

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I’m not sure. I honestly think I’d want a couple teenagers. Like I’d adopt kids. Maybe 2 at first. At most like 5. I’m not sure why that many. Maybe bc I don’t think it would be that hard or maybe bc I want to give lots of kids a home and share my wisdom

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Just my ears are pierced

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Art, English, maybe history? At the moment I have an 88 or higher in all my classes.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah

26: What are you craving right now?

Garlic naan bread, hot chocolate. Whipped cream. Strawberry’s. Grilled cheese.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?I don’t think so

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

No.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yeah

30: What’s irritating you right now?

The face that I need to study and am not and that I have one test and then I’m done with a class but I keep putting it off

31: Does somebody love you?

Yeah? I think?

32: What is your favourite color?Blue

33: Do you have trust issues?

I don’t think so

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

In my last dream I was trying to get high without my parents catching me and then i was in San Diego at a play with a few friends and I kept trying to find someone else and it was weird

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I don’t remember. I try not to cry in front of people

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Yeah. But when I stop then it’s bc I’m just done

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

I usually forgive but never forget and I can hold a grudge for a long time. It also depends on what happened. Give it a year I maybe be 80% over whatever happened depending on what it was

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

I mean it’s definitely in the top several. It’s okay so far

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

14?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

If I have then I don’t remember lmaoo

51: Favourite food?

Steak, grilled vegetables Fries. Bacon. Bread rolls. Garlic naan bread. Banana bread. Pasta. Grilled cheese

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

I have such a hard time explaining how I see fate and destiny because I’m never sure what’s going to happen or how it’s going to or if whatever we did was right or if it leads to where we’re supposed to go or end up with it’s all v complicated

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I looked up rain noises on Amazon music and put that on before I fell asleep

54: Is cheating ever okay?

55: Are you mean?

If Im mean it’s either in a kidding way or in a way where I’m trying mot to be vulnerable

56: How many people have you fist fought?

Just my brothers

57: Do you believe in true love?

I’d like to think that it exists

58: Favourite weather?Rain

59: Do you like the snow?

Yeah!!

60: Do you wanna get married?

Yeah one day

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

If a boy I like calls me baby, that’s a no but if a girl I like calls me baby I melt. It’s weird. Some friends call me babe and like with certain ppl that’s okay but not with others

62: What makes you happy?

Making ppl laugh. Making art.

63: Would you change your name?

Nah

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Considering I don’t even remember who it was, yes.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Jokes on you I don’t have a best friend of the opposite sex. I guess there’s Kai but he’s gay so I’d be like go make out with your bf and tell me if you still feel this way

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Nah

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My little brother

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Zara

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I believe in a form of soulmates

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

A couple ppl

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tonninseteli · 6 years

Text

Tagged by @sunshine21234, tysm for tagging me hon<3 I appreciate it~

1. Post the rules

2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

3. Write 11 questions of your own

4. Tag people

Questions:

1. What are some memories you would never want to forget and why?

I always want to remember first meetings - be it with people I love or pets. Idrk why, those memories just feel very important.

2. What are some traits people must have to become your friend?

I’m honestly open to being friends with anyone who isn’t an asshole to others based on stupid things like ethnicity, skin color, gender identity etc. So like idk just be a decent person and we’ll get along well. I guess I also appreciate honesty and trustworthiness - if I tell you a secret and you leak it to others, I will never trust you again lol

3. What is your favourite book, TV show, and movie and why?

Favourite book hmmm I’d have to go with the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness series. It was a very unique book series and I loved everything about the books. Read all six books in five days lmao.

TV show is a tricky one. My fave non-anime series is Grimm but my fave of them all, anime series included, is Natsume’s Book of Friends.

Favourite movie is probably Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows part two. Went to see it five times at the cinema when it came out. Very good ending to the movies.

4. What is your favourite food(s)?

Honestly there are so many foods I love~ Probably this Finnish Christmas Food called Perunalaatikko tho, I could just eat it forever and never get sick of it. Also leipäjuusto and I guess chicken pizza. My taste buds love simple things.

5. What would you change about the place you live in and why?

About Finland in general? I’d make the Winters shorter, they’re way too long as is.

About my home? Our floors creak every time we step on something which makes is difficult to be sneaky when loving around at 3am lol

6. What are some hidden talents you have?

I’m quite brilliant at cooking minute rice in 58 seconds. Okay sorry, that was such a bland joke lemme think

I come up with brilliant meme ideas for series I’m watching. I have tons of potential memes in my head as I’m writing this but the world will never know what they are. RIP

7. Are you more of a cat or dog person?

Cat person actually~ I absolutely adore dogs but my love for cats is just bigger. Love them both to bits tho.

8. What is your #1 treasure?

My plush bunny that has been with me ever since I was born. It’s the one thing in my life that doesn’t change or leave me and it reminds me of some nice times so I treasure it to bits~

9. Are you a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

I’m worried af but I dunno abt the genius part lmao. I’m a worried simpleton.

10. Describe your most memorable childhood memory.

This one batshit insane girl tried to drown me or at least scare the hell out of me in PE class back in 4th grade. She hated my guts and threatened me very frequently even tho I never said a word to her so I have no idea what made her hate me so much????

We were swimming casually in the pool, I was just minding my own business when the girl swum behind me, took a hold of my leg, dragged my weak ass closer to her, then she just pushed me under the water and kept me there for idk how long. Thankfully the instructor noticed pretty fast and came to save me. She shouted some profanities at me and I didn’t rly see her again???? She did push a kid down some stairs abt a year later from what I heard and that’s the last I’ve heard about her. Pretty wild.

Oh you meant a positive memory? Uhmm idk I guess when I got into the first anime series I ever watched. It changed my life forever so ofc I still remember it pretty well.

11. If you could tweak one thing about your personality, what would it be?

I wish I was actually a functional human being instead of this awkward depressing mess that I am atm so THAT pretty much.

Questions for peeps who wanna do this:

1. Are you an artist? If yes, What kind of art do you create(music, drawings, writing, do you dance or what)? If you don’t consider yourself an artist, which form of art do you like the most?

2. Who or what inspires you?

3. What’s your motto/slogan/favourite inspirational quote?

4. Do you wear any jewelry? If yes, what kind of jewelry do you wear? If not, why?

5. What is your favourite instrument?

6. Name one language you want to learn to speak fluently

7. Favourite times of the year and the day?

8. Describe the perfect moment~ What time is it? Where are you? What are you doing? Are you alone or with someone? How is your life situation? Etcetc.

9. Favourite mythical/fictional creature? Why?

10. Which one of your achievements(doesn’t matter how big or small it is!) are you most proud of?

11. Coffee, tea or hot chocolate? Did I not mention your fave? Which hot drink do you like then? Or are hot drinks not... your cup of tea?

tagging: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

@rollerbladingphan, @aliccas-angel, @amami-rantarou, @renkocchi, @vesililja andddd @otakki but if anyone else wants to do this feel free~ oh and if y’all who I tagged don’t want to do this pls don’t feel like you have to lol

#long post #tagged #this was fun #uhhhhhh what am I supposed to tag #tw drowning #??????????#just in case?#uhhhh yeah idk

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years

Text

i felt like answering the rest of the color asks so i did 🌈

🍒❤️red: how was your first kiss? hmm well platonic for starts so that sort is difficult to mess up and also not very dramatic. it was still gay though of course. i know everyone thinks platonic phys affection is exclusively a joke but just get past that for the moment. what do you love about yourself? i dont know how not to be unconditionally generous like shirt off the back for sure, and i also can’t resent anyone for anything i freely give them, which probably comes from the unconditional part. also i love that i’m gay and trans. when’s the last time you warmed your hands in front of a fire? i dont know. years. would you rather watch a sunrise or sunset? sunset. what’s the best thing about summer? i’m a big winter hater so theres a lot i like about summer. the best thing is that its warm and things are alive again (besides parasites and those big dangly mosquito looking fucks). clothing options have remembered that color exists. ice cream ❤️🍒

🌻💛yellow: if you could have any view from your bedroom window what would you choose? i dont know much about details of location re where i’d ideally live, but if there was to be a thunderstorm outside my window i’d be happy. what’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day? i like to go swimming, or go out and do stuff like the roller coasters and skating and ride bikes and stuff. be outside with friends. in theory. what do you consider lucky? uhh sheer chance i guess. what made you smile today? donut art, just now. joking around for a sec. a cat napping my lap w his tongue sticking out a millimeter. twitter replies. what makes you happy?jeez....toucans. a lot of kinds of animals. gay ppl. pretty things to look at like stars & plants. things covered in glitter. i can be happy abt a lot of stuff idk💛🌻

🥝💚green: what’s your favorite thing to do outside? barefoot in grass. do you like camping? i havent ever tried but i’m not particularly interested. what would you spend $1,000 on? ideally instead of realistically—give it to friends, go on a trip, buy fun clothes...eat stuff? what’s your job, or what do you want to do as your job? i was saying i might be great as an interpreter but its too bad i cant interpret anything. dunno if i could be good at care work. shouldve been born a farmer. work in a parrot sanctuary. dunno.💚🥝

🍇💜purple: what’s your astrological sign? 🐠 what’s the best piece of advice you ever received? idk that ive ever been like given personal advice but just general shit that like nobody’s ever ready for anything and so keep that in mind when you dont feel ready because generally nobody ever does so dont worry about it. when’s the last time you followed your instincts? i follow my instincts with people a lot and when i get the instinct to Avoid its usually proven right. what’s your favorite food? ice cream i guess. what’s your secret dream? i dont have any, either secretly or publically 💜🍇

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vincent-frankenstein · 6 years

Photo

*screams of horror* oh my god, it’s my art!

i got bored and tried to draw my ides with this base from this post and im sorry in advance if my art breaks your screen

rambles about them under the cut, if anyones interested

so from left to right....

first there's Pessimism, aka Rose -A combination of my anxiety and my depression -the Ultimate Drama Queen. I make one small mistake? "Oh my god, how could you, now we're all going to die and it's all your fault!" like, with the leg in the air and everything, hand draped across forehead. Actual drama queen. -either No Chill™ or So Chill™. Basically, the embodiment of that one post that's like, "me: *does something inconsequential* My Brain: "You Fucked Up You Fucked Up You Fucked Up!" Me: *does something horribly bad* My Brain: *sitting in a lawn chair with sunglasses, sipping a drink" "acknowledged." -Tries to be Edgy™. Just ends up looking adorable. -Internal Screaming™ is their Mood™ -"I don't care," they say caringly, as they care a lot. -actually really fashionable? most of the time? like, they're part anxiety, and im always terrified about how i look to other people, so that shows through in them. they always dress their best. their eyeliner is always On Point. -"I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color."

then there's Intelligence, aka Quinn -a Nerd™ -you thought Rose had no chill? this boy has No Chill™ -he’s the cause of my love of Biology, especially herpetology. this boy is a reptile nerd and is not afraid to show it. will bombard you with cool facts about snakes, if you give him the opportunity. -pretends he doesn't care. actually cares a Whole Lot about his fam. -Quinn: hey, you should be productive now. Me: hmmmmmm how about No™ Quinn: *internal screaming* -He always wants to learn new things. He's the driving force behind my passion for learning; the voice in the back of my mind telling me to study, or go on a wikipedia binge -the Ace-est Ace to ever Ace (thomas gave him the ace tie and he loves it) -Very Good at remembering random, odd factoids that i've learned throughout my life. can he remember the Important Things i spent hours studying when i need him to? that is a No. he Cannot. -is quite witty, and actually makes a lot of puns. It takes a quick wit to come up with so many puns, and he prides himself on his Quick Wit. the Master of finger guns.

-tries,,,, so hard,,,, to keep me on a consistent schedule so i can get work done,,,,,, but Thomas' Treat Yo Self mentality often undoes those schedules

Then there's Imagination, aka Celeste -Self Care? what's that? they only know staying up around the clock to finish a project -you see that face they're making in the picture? that's the face they make whenever im in bed, or at school, or anywhere else where i can't easily be creative, when they're about to spring a load of Inspiration on me. but when im sitting at the computer? staring at a blank page, the cursor's blinking driving me insane? yeah, no, sorry, they Cannot Work -"Hey, here's a new idea!" Me: cool! can i have some Motivation to work on this? Celeste: some Whot -wakes me up at FIVE AM with new ideas -when they do decide to work, they're actually really cool, especially when im being really productive -a Broadway Geek. will spend ten hours singing showtunes if given the opportunity. they're the reason i always get so many broadway songs stuck in my head -works with Rose when i'm writing angst (and those two are terrifying when they work together, and always end up with me crying), and works with Thomas when i need to write fluff (and i always end up with like ten thousand cavities as a result)

and finally, Optimism, aka Thomas -a Pure Boi -Can do no wrong -(can do wrong, that's just what he wants you to think, this Boy is mischeivous as all heck) -my ability to see the best in everyone and every situation, my determination to get through the bad things and find brighter tomorrows, and my refusal to give up, no matter what. -screams for ten minutes every time i see a dog. i got to pet a little corgi the other day, and i was sobbing and he was sobbing and everyone was sobbing and Quinn was Done™ -super romantic, Can and Will spend hours just gushing with me over Keegan -an unending source of light, even during the darkest days. he's always there to remind me of what's good in my life, when i'm feeling down -loves snakes so freaking much. he and quinn will often have moments where they'll just Geek Out over snakes, and Quinn will tell thomas all sorts of snake facts and thomas will just gush about how adorable they are and how much he wants one as a pet. one of their main arguments when im wondering whether or not to keep going is "you can't get a snake in the future if you give up now! imagine the snoots! you've gotta boop the snoots! -loves to sing. unfortunately, he'll usually pick one song that he likes to sing over and over, and that's how most songs get stuck in my head. also loves to dance, but im not a very good dancer and neither is he, and he usually ends up tripping over his own feet and landing on the floor -acts like he's on a Constant Sugar High. no one can calm this boy. he has No Chill™ -actually none of my sides have Any Chill which actually makes a lot of sense

mmmmmm anyway this was weird and rambly but i liked the way the drawing came out and wanted to write abt my sides so,,,,,,,, yall can just ignore this

#my art #my sides #i actually liked how this drawing came out!!! im amazed at how much ive improved lately #and i Love my sides #so i wanted to ramble about them #yall dont have to read the ramble bit #i just wanted to write abt them for a bit #theyre all very Extra but i love them #aaanyway #hope you like this

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noxiim · 7 years

Note

(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what

and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out

Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.

When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.

Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.

That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.

If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.

Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.

So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕

#long post #sorry I kind of rambled #but anon if you want to talk to me don't be afraid to message me instead #I'm always here if you need to vent 💕#asks #Anonymous #art asks

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