#it’s a 19 year old hormonal thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

phoward89 · 2 months

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This is based on this ask.

Coryo is a hands on dad in this. (Thank God, since he was a real piece of shit in the last daddy!Coriolanus one shot)

Everyone says that pregnancy is a beautiful experience. Women are supposed to look radiant and glowing as they're round with the new life they're growing inside of them.

What nobody tells you is that your feet and ankles swell, your back aches, you pee more than a race horse, you balloon into the size of a beluga whale, and your mood swings are all over the place because of the pregnancy hormones. Oh, and you crave the weirdest things.

Nope, people don't tell you that. You had to learn that the hard way. At least you had your husband by your side during everything.

Coriolanus is a very busy man, being the youngest President of Panem, but he always made time in his busy schedule for you. To check in on you and make sure you were okay. After all, it's his fault you're in the condition you're in.

Okay…

Well…

You both agreed to try for a baby during the honeymoon, so it technically wasn't his fault you're big and miserable right now.

Honestly, Coriolanus had baby fever and replaced your birth control pills with sugar pills a month or so before the wedding, so you were bound to get pregnant right away.

Anyways, you're currently so big that you can't do anything by yourself. Hell, you can barely even walk anymore. You're practically waddling like a duck.

And you're so emotional. You've been crying at the drop of a hat lately. Anything, literally anything, can put you into a crying drag. It was emotionally exhausting.

Your husband, the president, was surprisingly supportive of you. He doted on you. Even when you were complaining about being uncomfortable or crying your eyes out for the umpteenth time, Coryo was right by your side trying to comfort you.

Despite his cold, calculated, stoic nature that everyone saw, he was soft and loving towards you. But only you.

Because he loves you more than anything in this world.

Despite vowing to never let himself fall in love again, when you became his personal secretary when he was Senator Snow he fell for you.

It was hard not to. Your beauty paired with your personality was hard for him to resist.

So, he broke a promise to himself that he made at 18 or 19 years old. But, when it comes to love it just happens. Vowing to never fall in love's a foolish notion because one can't control who they fall in love with.

It just happens.

But, unfortunately, when he fell in love with you it wasn't when you were available. You had a long time boyfriend. And since Coriolanus wanted you to be his, he got rid of your boyfriend.

Permanently.

With poison.

And then a few months after your boyfriend was out of the picture, Coriolanus wooed you. He asked you out with pretty words and a single white rose. Of course you accepted.

Then, when he was campaigning to become Panem's youngest president, he proposed. And after he won the election, becoming President Snow, he married you; made you his First Lady Snow.

And now you're about to become a mother, another thing he had a hand in the making of.

The only problem was that your due date’s come and gone.

And you feel absolutely miserable.

“Darling, I just got off the phone with Dr. Wellock about your situation of being overdue.” Your husband, Coryo, announced as he walked into the sunroom room you were lounging in.

“What did he say?” You asked as the platinum blonde made his way over to your side.

“He says that an induction isn't done until the expecting mother is anywhere between 10-12 days overdue.” He said, taking a seat next to you on the sofa.

“So that means I have at least 5 more days of feeling miserable?” You asked, feeling tears begin to well up.

“Unfortunately, yes, my darling rose.” Coryo told you while wrapping an arm around you. Pulling you into his chest, he said, “The doctor gave me a list of things that can help to induce you naturally.” Rubbing your lower back, knowing that it was bothering you lately, you husband told you, “I'm having the kitchen staff cook the foods that'll help naturally induce you, Y/N.”

Coryo was a godsend. He was looking after you when he should be busy running the country. He didn't have an easy job.

He was the President of Panem.

And here he was catering to you. Offering you comfort and gentle reassurances during your difficult time of being overdue and feeling uncomfortable.

Suddenly, you felt overwhelmed. Felt like a burdened. And, before you could even control yourself, you started to cry into your husband's chest.

“What's wrong, little dove?” Coriolanus asked, threading his long fingers thru your hair, trying to soothe you.

“I feel bad that you're here with me instead of running the country. You’re the president, you should be working, not by my side giving me backrubs and helping me get from point A to point B all the time.”

“Y/N, darling, I might be the president, but I'm also your husband. As your husband, I put you and our unborn child before anything, including work. The wellbeing of my family will always come first, Panem second.”

“How did I get so lucky to have you?” You asked between sobs.

Because he whacked your Academy Sweetheart.

But, Coriolanus couldn't tell you that. No, that's a secret he'll take with him to the grave. Along with all the other various murders he's committed and will keep on committing in order to be all powerful and filthy rich.

No, instead the president just presses a kiss to your head and tells you, “Dumb luck, I suppose.” Rubbing circles into your lower back, causing soft moans to fall from your lips, Coriolanus smiled, “But I consider myself the lucky one for being your husband. There's no other woman in all of Panem that I could ever see myself loving as deeply as I love you.”

Sniffing and wiping at your eyes, you say, “Don't tell me sweet stuff like that or I'll never stop crying.”

Unfortunately, labor inducing foods didn't work. So, Coryo told you that the doctor told him that sex, nipple stimulation, and orgasms could help induce labor. You laughed at him, saying that had to be a lie since, despite your huge size, you were still very sexually active with him. Coriolanus just shrugged, claiming that's what the doctor told him.

You don't know if it was from sex or just your time to go into labor, but in the middle of the night (after having late night sex with your husband) you woke up with labor pains and a soaked nightgown. When you woke up Coriolanus, telling him that it was (finally) time and that you were in labor, he quickly grabbed your baby bag and rushed you to the hospital.

The man, being a very devoted husband and father to be, drove you himself. You feared that Coryo would drag you to the hospital in his pajamas, but much to your relief he did toss on some clothes before taking you.

Once at the hospital, since you're the First Lady of Panem, you were put on VIP status and given a private room with a window view of the Rockies. You didn't really care since you were in the worst pain of your entire life, but it was a nice gesture. Coriolanus sure did enjoy the special treatment you were getting. Remarking how only the best for his love would do.

The president never left your side during your labor. He wiped your sweaty forehead with a cool cloth, buzzed the nurses for ice chips and pain meds for you, and he let you squeeze his hand to the point he thought his bones would break whenever you had a particularly painful contraction.

The hospital staff just melted at the sight of President Coriolanus Snow doting on his First Lady Y/N Snow. The nurses were swooning everytime they heard Coryo tell you, “You’re doing so well, darling.”, “I know it hurts, little dove, but soon we'll have our baby and it'll be well worth it.”, “Squeeze my hand as hard as you need to, my darling rose. I served as a peacekeeper once, I can handle you breaking my hand while in labor pains.”

You were sitting up, pushing hard every 5 seconds, around 3 times per contraction. Coryo was right by your side, holding your hand and telling you, “You're doing wonderful, darling. Just a few more pushes and we'll be parents.”

The nurse in the room fought back the urge to swoon at the president’s words while the doctor just assured you that Coriolanus was right, that he could see the baby's head and after another push the baby would be born.

So, gathering all of the strength you could muster after pushing for what felt like hours, you did one last, hard push.

Your baby came out with a healthy set of lungs. Crying before even needing a spank to the butt.

Dr. Wellock held the baby up in the air, only to announce, “It's a girl!”

A girl. You and Coryo had a baby girl.

Tears of love welled up in your eyes as Coriolanus’ baby blues shines with pride as he whispered, “A baby girl.”, before pressing a soft kiss to your chapped lips.

“Mister President, Sir, would you like to cut the cord?” Dr. Wellock asked your husband as a nurse helped you deliver the placenta.

“Yes, I would like to.” Coriolanus replied before standing up and going over to the doctor. Silently, the doctor passed him the scissors and he cut the cord. After cutting the cord, your husband returned to your side while the doctor passed the baby over to the nurse to be cleaned and wrapped in a blanket.

“She's beautiful, darling.” Coriolanus told you as the doctor quickly cleaned you up.

“Does she have your platinum blonde hair?” You asked, a curious smile splitting your face wide open.

“Yes.” The president nodded. “She has both my light blonde hair and blue eyes.”

“You're going to be beating all the boys off with a stick in about, eh, 13 or so years.” You knowingly giggled right as the nurse appeared with your bundle of joy wrapped in a soft pink blanket and matching hat.

Handing you your daughter, the nurse asked, “What's her name?”

“Cersei.” You and Coryo answered at the same time, looking at your daughter with nothing but love.

Honestly, you were a bit nervous about how Coryo would be as a father since, after all, he had a lot on his plate as the president of the country. But it turns out that you didn't have anything to worry about. Coriolanus was a great father. He was very hands-on despite his strenuous and busy job being President of Panem.

The president always made time for his daughter and, of course, for you.

And when you went out in public, he was always by your side when wheeling your baby in the stroller. So many paparazzis would hide and flash pictures of President Snow with your daughter because it was the only way to get a picture of them together. Coryo never used Cersei for photo ops or publicity stunts. In fact he rarely talked about her at all interviews other then the general and polite answers of, “Oh, she's doing well.”, “Cersei's a happy girl.”, and “She’s hitting all of her milestones.”

Honestly, Coryo didn't like to talk too much about his daughter because he didn't want her in the limelight. He chose to become the president and you chose to become his first lady. You both knew the fame that came with it. But Cersei was born into it and your husband, President Coriolanus Snow, wanted her to have as normal of a childhood as possible.

And then, when your daughter was 3, you got pregnant again. Well, you and Coriolanus weren't trying, but weren't preventing either.

You were too far along yet, just nearing your 4th month. You knew that soon you'd be blowing into the size of a balloon tho.

But you weren't thinking about that right now.

Right now, you were just smiling at the sight of your daughter curled up on your husband's lap as he read her a book during one of his breaks from his office in the presidential wing of the mansion.

“Daddy?” Your daughter, whose platinum blonde hair was in little piggy tales, asked- causing your husband to pause in his reading.

It was cute how Coriolanus melted the first time he was called Dada and decided to let his daughter call him Daddy as she grew despite telling you over and over again during your pregnancy with her that he was going to be called father or nothing at all.

She's like Cersei has your husband wrapped around her finger.

“Yes, princess?” Coryo asked your daughter, looking at her with a genuine smile.

“Mama’s here.” She excitedly told your husband with a big smile on her face.

Coryo looked up, only to tell your daughter, “Oh, so she is.” Waving you into the room, your husband said, “Come in and sit down, darling. You don't need to stand in the doorway.”

“Oh, don't mind me, I was just walking down the hall and thought that I'd just check in on my favorite people while on my way to get a snack.” You told your husband, shrugging off his offer of you joining him and your daughter in the sun room.

“Mama, I want a snack!” Cersei exclaimed.

Coryo chuckled, only to close the book he was reading and place it onto the side table by his sitting chair. Standing up, with your daughter slung on his hip, the president announced, “Looks like a family snack time’s in order before I get back to work being the President Panem.”

When Cersei was almost 4, you had your son, Cassian Xandros. Then when she was 5 you had another son, Caspian Xenos and when she was 7 you had your last child. Another son, who was named Caelestis Xanthias.

Even tho Coriolanus had not 1 but 3 boys to carry on the mighty and magnificent Snow name, it was your daughter, Cersei, that was his favorite child.

Coriolanus was a good father to all 4 of your children, but it was your daughter that had him wrapped around his finger. She was daddy's little princess. She could do no wrong in his eyes.

But your boys…oh boy…Your son's had to be perfect unless they wanted to hear Coriolanus lecture them. He expected straight A’s and top marks in school from his 3 boys. Expected them to be involved in school politics, chess club, and the debate team. And when it came time for them to be mentors in the Hunger Games for a district that didn't have a Victor to act as a mentor, well you better believe that they had to be perfect at that too.

But not Cersei. Oh no… Coryo let Cersei get away with shit that he'd never let Cassian Xandros, Caspian Xenos, and Caelestis Xanthias get away with.

Cersei didn't want to be a mentor, so guess what? Her daddy, President Snow, let her stay home sick during the games so her mentor spot had to be given to somebody else. If she wanted to quit ballet lessons after just one lesson, saying it wasn't fun, then she could. She could get away with anything she wanted to, because your husband let her.

Coriolanus spoiled his daughter rotten.

And one day, as a young woman, when Cersei went running to her daddy saying that she was in trouble (knocked up) and that the Peacekeeper that got her in that condition didn't want the responsibility of a family, you know what Coriolanus did? He just told your daughter that he'd take care of everything.

And boy did he ever…

He had tea with that peacekeeper, where only one of them walked away from the garden tea table alive, and scattered the man's family all over the districts. Making sure that his younger siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc were reaped when eligible.

Coriolanus also assured your daughter that you and him would help her raise her baby. That she'd have your support and wouldn't be alone.

So, when Cersei gave birth to her daughter, Celeste Snow, as a single mother you and Coryo were by her side. Assuring her that everything was fine, that she was going to be a great mother.

You had a sense of deja vu whenever the nurses all gossiped and giggled about how President Snow was such a good father and grandfather to be for staying by his daughter's side and supporting her despite her being an unwed mother.

Coriolanus was a great father to all of your children, but his favorite was your daughter Cersei. So, naturally, his favorite grandchild was her only daughter Celeste. He dotes on your granddaughter Celeste. She was the apple of his eye, even when the boys started getting married and having children of their own.

Coriolanus loved all his grandchildren, but Celeste was his favorite.

You on the other hand didn't have favorites. You loved all of your children and grandchildren equally.

But Coryo wasn't like you. No, your husband was the type to love obsessively, so he had to pick favorites.

So, it didn't surprise you when one day, before the games started, you walked into the sunroom to see your granddaughter and your husband having brunch. It reminded you of how he used to read to her mother all those years ago.

He might be older now with pure white hair, a distinguished white beard framing his face, and a bit more weight on his bones, but he was the same man in spirit he was all those years ago when he used to cut time out of his day just for your daughter. Now he just does it for his granddaughter.

“Grandpa, Grandma just walked in.” Celeste announced, peeling little shell pieces off of her soft boiled egg.

“I see that, darling.” Coryo told your granddaughter. Looking at you, he gestured to the empty seat next to him at the table and suggested, “Why don't you join me, my darling rose.”

“Well, I wasn't planning to, but if you insist.” You smiled, walking further into the room.

Your eyes saw the way Celeste had her hair done in a braid, that looked like the one that Victor from 12 Katniss Everdeen wore and you secretly hoped that your husband wouldn't yell at her for it. You knew how much he couldn't stand the Everdeen girl and feared that he'd be upset with Celeste for wearing her hair like the victor's.

As you sat down, you heard your husband say, “Your hair looks lovely darling, when did you start wearing it like that?”

“Everybody at school wears it like this now, grandpa.” Celeste said with a little devious smile on her face.

And the backlash never came. He just nodded his head and went on to eat his egg.

And that's when you knew that Celeste had the same power over him that Cersei did. That you had as well.

Coriolanus Snow might be a cold, evil, dictator of a president, but to his granddaughter, daughter, and wife he's just a man that loves them unconditionally to the point where it might be considered a weakness if anyone knew.

And perhaps that's why he never speaks much about his girls in interviews. He'll speak about his boys, but not his girls.

Because if anything ever happened to his girls, well…the president wouldn't know what to do with him.

That's how much he loves his darling girls.

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icaruspendragon · 2 months

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i hope this isn't too personal of a question (and if it is that's totally cool, i was literally just curious as a fellow aspec person), but i was wondering what some of your thoughts were about being aspec, like it's totally cool if your thoughts were just the post you reblogged!!! that's honestly still putting into words a bit a similar way i figured out i was aspec, but i know you seem to have really interesting takes on things/conclusions you've realized about things a lot of the time and so i was just curious what thoughts were turning around your head about being aspec

I don't mind talking about it at all!

So for me sex is like this perfunctory, borderline tedious thing. I almost want to call it a chore, but that has negative connotations that don't exactly match up with how I feel about it. It's like something on a to do list, or like running an errand.

Think of it this way: For me, having sex is akin to going to the pharmacy. Actually, it's more like being asked to go for someone else. It's not on my list of things I enjoy doing and there are other things I would rather do, but I don't mind going if someone asks me to. But once in a blue moon I do actually want to go because I want candy or a Juneberry Red Bull or some shit like that and Walgreens happens to be nearby.

Media builds up sex to be this incredible and awesome and amazing thing that everyone wants to have, which is at odds with the widely held societal belief that it's uncouth to discuss sex openly with others. So if media says "yes you should want this" and society says "but you shouldn't talk about it with others because it's an incredibly private act" it makes it kinda difficult when you don't feel the way you're "supposed to." And then when you do talk about how you don't feel that way, people say there's something wrong with you or that you haven't found the right person or that maybe you need to change things up in the bedroom or that you need to go to a doctor because it's gotta be a hormonal imbalance or something. The list really does go on and on.

And so many of my expectations surrounding sex were informed by fanfic where I read, in detail, about how good it was supposed to feel. About all the different ways it could feel good.

I wanted it to be like that for me, for it to be as good as I had read and seen and heard others talk about, so I kept on trying. And sometimes I enjoyed it. Not E rated fanfic enjoyed it, but it was nice. Nice in the same way a cup of tea is nice, but nice nonetheless.

But most of the time it was like, clinical? Like I was acutely aware of what was happening, if that makes sense. I was thinking about the mechanics of it, what was going in where. I was thinking about how it was "supposed to feel" versus how it actually felt. I would wonder how much longer it would take because I was getting bored. Sometimes I would think about how rude it would be if I checked my phone. And probably the most upsetting (retrospectively) thing I would think about was if my act of enjoyment was convincing enough. And I didn't ever want to tell a partner that I wasn't enjoying it because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Because I thought it was a me problem. That there was something wrong with me. And there being something wrong with me wasn't fair to whoever I was with. I just needed to grin and bear it, so to speak.

At one point I had a bit of a gay panic where I thought wasn't bisexual and actually a lesbian. The panic was over the confusion, not over the potential lesbianism. Lesbians are awesome. But I learned that while sexual intimacy with women was a bit easier, my feelings (or lack thereof) about sex were still the same. And that meant there was something wrong with me in particular.

I know now that my perspective was warped and my thoughts about myself were both unkind and untrue, but that was a lot to try and reconcile as a 19 year old who already thought she was undesirable. Constantly being called a "late bloomer" and not having your first relationship until you're a sophomore in college sure does a number on your self esteem. Which in turn does a number on your perception of yourself.

Then as I got older, I got more queer friends. And I talked to those queer friends. And they talked about sex differently than my straight friends did. More openly and honestly. With less fanfare. And it was during those discussions that I heard about experiences similar to mine. And it helped me realize I wasn't broken. Well, that and google.

And now I stand before you today, an aspec bisexual able to joke about being horny in theory but not in application. It's nice not feeling broken anymore. But I think it's even nicer now knowing that I was never broken in the first place.

Sometimes sex is nice, but most of the time, it's just going to the pharmacy. And both of those things are okay.

#asks #if 20 year old Berklie could see me talking so frankly about my sex life she'd probably implode #but if you never talk about this kinda stuff it makes it awful hard for folks to know they're not the only ones #that they're not alone #and most importantly: that they're not broken like she had always been led to believe

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rayassecretlife · 1 year

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Corrupt me

Pairing: 19 year old!Neteyam Sully x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Summary: Neteyam and you had been dating for many months but never went farther then a kiss since you were fairly innocent and didn’t understand much. One night when he slips through your window to see you, your hormones get the best of you and you turn to him for guidance.

Warning(s): Corruption kink, Mature language, Praise kink, F!ngering, squ!rting, aftercare :))), Kissing, etc.

“Come on!” You groan, tugging at the string that connected the small bracelet you had been making. It was about 1:00am and it was safe to say you had been working on jewelry for the past few hours. The night sky was dark and gloomy while the simple flower you had in your room lit the area, allowing you to see everything you had been doing. The bracelet was rather important to you being as it was for your boyfriend.

The small scraping noise behind you made your head turn quickly with a gasp, but to your relief and surprise, it was a very familiar face. “Hey, Syulang” You glare at your boyfriend as you stand to your feet, helping him through the small opening in your wall that acted as a window. “Why the face? Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“What are you doing here! What if my dad-“ He shushes your whispers, moving past you to sit on the floor where you had been making the bracelet. At this point there was no reason in keeping it from him. “I-it’s not finished” You try to reason but he chuckles, Picking it up to get a closer look. Did he not like it? Was it not the colors he liked?

You sat next to your boyfriend, grabbing the bracelet from him to put away. His eyes were strained on your own with a small laugh, arms pulling you close to his embrace. “I like that one” His reassuring words make you smile against his chest and you almost instantly nuzzle your head into him, the warmth from his body radiating off yours perfectly. “I missed you, sorry for the surprise visit”

“You saw me hours ago” You lift your head, laying your chin against his chest and his eyes met your own. “I missed you too” A smile tugged his lips as he cupped one side of your face, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. His lips were soft against yours but also cold, like they’d been waiting to touch your own for hours.

You and Neteyam had been dating for only a few months but you’ve known each other since you were young. You were the daughter of one of his father’s greatest warrior’s, and Neteyam couldn’t stay away from the fact he couldn’t have you growing up. Your father protected you from boys, most of the time having to break apart you and Neteyam because you never knew what you had been doing was flirting.

You were 18 but rather innocent. You didn’t know how a lot of things worked with mating and boyfriends due to your father always keeping you so out of the loop but all you knew was that you had this undeniable liking to Neteyam and you couldn’t ignore that. You couldn’t ignore the way he made your heart beat faster whenever he was near.

Neteyam was the one that would guide you through certain things; like the first time you held his hand, or when you kissed him having no idea how to kiss. He’d explain everything to you, the way you felt and how he felt it all too. You feared he would look at you as immature for not knowing but it was quite the opposite. He found you so adorable when you would look at him with those doe eyes, hesitant to kiss him.

The farthest you’d ever gone was making out, but that was because you’d often get carried away off that lustful feeling you weren’t used to. You loved him, that’s really what it was. You just wanted to be close to him.

You couldn’t help yourself. He smelled of the forest and vanilla, like a sweet candle the people in the lab had laying around. Maybe it was the fact your body had been looking for something it didn’t know of, or the thought that perhaps he wanted to explore every part of you made your skin explode with heat. Usually it was just kissing between the two of you, but lately you had felt so much differently.

Your lips detach from his but your face is still very close to his, eyes looking up at his for guidance as they always did. His thumb brushes over your bottom lip as he lets out a small huffed out laugh, “What is it, Syulang?” Your stomach turned at the sound of his voice, and that funny feeling you’d been having for weeks came back almost instantly. It felt like this burning sensation between your legs but it didn’t hurt, only becoming annoying to the point you almost wanted to touch where it came from.

His eyes study yours as your mouth opens slightly, but soon closes with your lips pressed together. You didn’t know what to think, you didn’t know what it was and you were afraid he would think you were weird for asking him if he knew. You shake your head with a closed mouth smile before leaning up to kiss him again, and that is the exact reason Neteyam knew you so well.

“Y/N, Baby” He pulls away gently, his hand still cupping the side of your face. He could tell you were holding back from telling him what you needed, but he wasn’t going to let you throw yourself into him to change the subject. “Talk to me” His words are soft and his eyes are softer, understanding as they stare into your own. You sigh and shift in front of him, feeling the weird feeling slightly grow as his free hand caresses the side of your arm.

“I feel weird” You start, looking up at him with a softening face. You genuinely didn’t know how to get rid of this feeling and that’s all you wanted. You wanted to rid this void inside your body. “There’s this… feeling I’ve been getting when you touch me and I-I don’t know how to make it go away” your voice is so clearly begging for him to help you but he’s just as confused as you are.

“What feeling?” He asks in his low voice, pressing his hand to the small of your back. You were so nervous, what if something was wrong with you? Your ears are batting down as you look at him through your eyelashes, you didn’t know what you were feeling. “Does it hurt?”

“Sometimes, if I’m around you long enough” You inform with hesitancy, placing your hands over your lap. His eyes don’t miss where you had landed them, seeing you were trying to hide your loincloth from sight. “It feels like… like fire all over my body. My skin is hot and it scares me” You breathed, fixating on his necklace to miss his gaze.

His mind is slowly but surely putting the pieces together but it almost seems impossible for you to feel such things. He always knew you’d come around but this soon? That wasn’t apart of the plan. He reaches down to push your hair behind your ear, hooking a finger under your chin to lift your head up.

“Do you want to show me where it hurts?” Of course you did. You wanted him to make all of your pain go away but you were unsure he’d be able to. He didn’t know what was wrong with you and neither did you, you didn’t even know why you told him. Your hesitant in his grasp but softly nod before grabbing ahold of his large hand, watching his eyes scan your body for where his hand would meet. he was looking at you seriously, his intense yellow eyes boring into your own.

“It’s…” Your voice is trailing and he can see your nervousness right through your body, now grabbing hold of your hand to give it a small and reassuring squeeze which made you look up at him.

“Let me” You wanted to question what he meant but you didn’t, listening to his every word while keeping your eyes on his as his hand explored your cold skin. He watched your expressions at every point he hit, some making you shiver and others making your ears fall. He was driving you insane.

Finally, his hand is ghosted above your loincloth, very slowly moving down till he was inside of it, making a gasp leave your mouth as your hand quickly moved down to stop him from going lower. “Here?” He asks genuinely, earning an embarrassed nod of your head.

“C-can you make it go away?” You ask desperately, praying to Eywa he was willing to help you. There you were, his adorable innocent girlfriend who was so clueless you didn’t even know your own body’s pleasure. He doesn’t respond, only leaning down to press his soft lips against yours.

He pulls away with one swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip, the tip of his nose nudging yours. “I can help you but you have to trust me” He tells you truthfully, waiting for your answer which you so obviously told him you did. You trusted him with your life. “Let’s move to the hammock then, Hmm? Want you to be comfortable”

You follow the boys orders and lay yourself on your hammock, moving over to make room for him to join you. His large body slowly moves onto the hammock, hovering over your small frame. Your eyes are slightly big as your heart is beating from your chest, you and Neteyam had never been in this position and it definitely intimidated you. He catches wind of your nervousness and quickly leans down to kiss your lips sweetly, as if it was a reward or a reassurance.

“Want you to relax for me. I won’t hurt you, Tìyawn” He speaks against your lips before moving to your jaw, peppering it’s soft skin with kisses as one of his hands moved down your chilling body. The feeling between your legs was growing now and you wondered if he actually knew how to make it better, it was only becoming more unbearable then before.

But you laid relaxed for your boyfriend, trusting in his actions. Neteyam would never hurt you and that was a known fact, but you had no idea what to think when he’s above you like this. It was all so… new?

“Neteyam!” You let out a quiet gasp once he unties your loincloth, earning a raise of his eyebrow from him. You hesitantly nod your head, leaning it back to try and relax like he had asked of you. The tips of his fingers tease the skin of your thighs, ghosting over the insides like he had been drawing lines all over them. Your hands slowly find their way to his hair, slightly tugging on it so he’d pull his face in front of your own. You wanted him to kiss you because If he did, you wouldn’t have to worry.

He of course, read you like a book and pressed his lips against your own with a slight hunger to it, a feeling you rarely saw from him. “Quiet” He mumbled between kisses, silencing your gasp with his mouth as you felt his fingers ghost your forbidden area. You were so nervous, you thought you weren’t supposed to touch there… why was he aloud to? You didn’t understand anything, not even about yourself.

But you trusted him.

Your legs are shifting under him as he lets one of his fingers touch you, a slight grunt leaving his mouth at the feeling between them. You were wet, so fucking wet… and you didn’t know? Sometimes he didn’t understand your innocence. “Neteyam… it… it’s worse” He shushes you with another kiss before laying his forehead against yours, letting out a small chuckle.

“I know, Sweet girl. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better. M’gonna take care of you, I promise” His words are sweet and soft against your ear, fingers touching your forbidden area like they were meant to be there. His thumb pressed against your swollen bud, feeling as your cunt clenched around nothing in anticipation. He had to of been teasing you.

His tongue is gently gliding along your skin with care as his thumb rubs circles to your clit. Your eyes were strained shut at the sudden pleasure, the sudden feeling that wasn’t so weird anymore. It felt good. Neteyam watched your face contort from the feeling, pressing the back of your head against the loom under you. You were so beautiful like this, all hot and bothered just by his presence. You made him absolutely feral and had you not have been so innocent, he would’ve took it all the way with you.

But now his lips are trailing down your neck, against your shoulders and collarbone, up until he couldn’t go any father due to your chest piece. He hums to make you reopen your eyes, watching him slightly tug of the fabric. You look at him with hesitancy but shortly nod your head, watching as he untied the clothing from your top.

Your body was bare under him and you never felt more exposed. Sure, Na’vi we’re already practically naked all the time but he could see every detail in your body; every dip, every line, the curve of your breasts, and your hardened nipples. He was staring, oh eywa, does he not like me anymore? You tried to find the answer but your thinking was cut predominantly short as he leans his head down, reenacting his actions from before against your skin.

“You are so beautiful, Y/N” He says lovingly, making your heart explode and stomach flutter with butterflies. You let out a soft moan which made his ears perk, eyes glancing up at your desperate body. His mouth was so close to your nipple, and for a second you thought he wouldn’t of done anything with that, but you couldn’t of been more wrong.

“Tey…!” Your whispered moans flew from your mouth and you couldn’t stop them, placing your hand on his head as you watched him swirl his tongue around your hardened nipple, meeting your eyes with his big yellows. Was this even aloud? You didn’t even know people touch there… your breathing heavy under him, pulling his hair from his face to gain a clear view of him, watching his every move while his finger practically attacked your clit.

“Need you to relax for me, baby” You gain frustrated at his words, weren’t you already relaxed? His hand pressed down on your stomach that heaved, giving you a small chuckle with the shake of his head. “Gonna take the feeling away now, Y/N. You have to be quiet though because It’s gonna feel weird at first, okay?” His free hand strokes your cheek and you nod, giving him permission to do basically whatever he had wanted with you.

He released your nipple and moved back up to your lips, capturing you in his embrace as his digits move up and down your slit. Your slick covered his fingers with ease, and you couldn’t help but moan against him at the foreign feeling. You notice his hunger against your lips increase, and his tongue slipped into your mouth as the same time his finger did your entrance, making you gasp.

His free hand continues to caress your cheek in hopes to sooth you, pressing one of his large, slender fingers deep inside you. You didn’t understand. You didn’t understand how you thought this was so wrong all your life… It didn’t feel weird anymore—it felt so, so fucking good.

Neteyam doesn’t miss the way your hips wind against him to gain more friction, pulling away from your lips with a smirk. “See? And you were all nervous” He smiles through his bitten lip before kissing you again, falling in love with your lustful eyes all over again. You let your hands hold the sides of his head as you match his pace against your lips, bending your legs to press against his sides as he curled his finger against your gummy walls.

He cursed himself. You were so innocent and cute, so new and fresh. You’d never been touched before, and he wanted it to be him that corrupted your innocence. He could feel his cock getting harder against the cloth by the second, thinking about how it would feel to really corrupt you. Your cunt was slipper around his digits, and warm to the touch as if it had been preparing for someone to touch it all this time. You were perfect in every way he imagined; from your beautiful moans, to your breathtaking body, you were his and his only.

“Neteyam… it’s…” You try to find the words once you pull away but nothing comes out, although he knew exactly what you wanted. From the way your cunt clenched around him profusely, trust in Eywa, he knew.

“More? You want more, don’t you?” He aims to tease you but you don’t care anymore, nodding your head desperately and nudging your nose to his. “My sweet, innocent girl” He chuckles, pulling his dripping finger out of you, allowing another to join. “If this is what you’ve felt for so long, you should have told me” He watches you, slowly pushing his ring and middle finger inside you. Your gasp isn’t enough, his fingers were large and believe, they were stretching you.

“I… I didn’t know what it was” You sigh, gripping his shoulders as you lay your head back, breath shaky against the air. He hums as if to ask if it was okay and you slowly nod, looking at him to see his eyes low, looking at what he had been doing to you. “Yes, yes this is what I wanted” was this what they did when mating? Now you were curious. This felt so different but so good, almost forbidden to a point.

Using the same movements before, Neteyam’s fingers curled inside you, this time making you jolt as he reached a certain spot you didn’t even know you had, and your hand pressed against his stomach.

“That’s a good thing, my love. Did it not feel good?” He questions but knows the answer just off your heavy breathing. You close your eyes for a second before releasing his stomach, placing your hands on the back of his neck. He smirks, leaning down to kiss you once more before moving to your ear, restarting his pace from before against you. Your quiet moans were more then enough to tell him everything, to show him what you needed the most. “Such a good girl letting me corrupt you like this—fuck, you turn me on so much” He wanted to palm himself so bad but held back, noticing the slightly louder moan you let out at the name he had called you. You liked that; you liked when he called you that.

“Tey… it’s back—it’s-“

“Your gonna come, pretty girl” He hums, placing sloppy kisses against your sweet spot on your neck. That feeling was back but ten times worse now, like you had to pee almost. His fingers are moving faster into you now, curling against that spongy spot you were so weak to. “Come for me, Sweet girl. Just let it happen” He knew you were nervous but every moan was like another reason for him to keep going, knowing on the inside you were chasing that release, you just didn’t know that.

He notices your moans get louder by the second and quickly moves to kiss your lips, muffling every single one as he felt your release just barely tip over, your legs straining against him and your cunt clenching around his fingers horribly. He coaches you against your lips, holding your body still. He knew you were going to let go. You had to.

“Teyam…!” You gasp against his lips, feeling the pleasurable feeling wash over you like a huge wave, and you could hear the sound of his fingers pumping inside you only increase, helping you ride out the high you had came from. Your moans were loud against his lips and your nails were drawing lines against his back, sure you’d left some blood.

“Good girl—fuck, just like that, keep going” Your boyfriend coaches, your legs were shaking horribly and you somehow were still not breathing normally. Neteyam pulled away from your lips, looking down between the two of you to see the mess you had made. You grew worried as to why he had been staring for so long, reaching down to lift his chin.

“W-what is it? Did I do something I wasn’t supposed to?” You ask worried but he quickly shakes his head, a smile pulling at his lips as he pulls his fingers from inside you, holding them in between your faces so you could see. “I…your hand…” you look at his hand dumbfounded, watching as your slick drips from it gently onto your collarbone. You did all that? How was that even possible.

“Your incredible, Y/N” He chuckles, leaning down to kiss your lips once more before bringing his hand close to his mouth making your eyes widen.

“Neteyam, no! That’s… that’s gross!” You try to protest as he slips one of his fingers into his mouth, closing his eyes at the sweet taste of your slick against his tongue. You wanted to stop him, to tell him how disgusting that was, but you couldn’t. He looked so pretty like this, and you loved watching him taste you.

He pulls back with a pop and leans down to you, bringing his other finger close to your lips to watch your frantic eyes. “Come on, Sweet girl. You taste so, so good” You look at him a little longer hesitant before opening your mouth for him, sticking your pink tongue out for him to slip his finger inside.

The taste is weird at first but after closing your mouth around his finger, you find yourself relishing in it. You tasted sweet and fresh, like a forbidden foreign berry that didn’t exist. Your eyes shut as you run your tongue around his digit, not even noticing his loving eyes that stared at you.

When he pulls his finger from you, your eyes open to him sitting up on his knees in front of you, and your eyes can’t help but notice that pool or water-like stains on his loincloth and stomach, some running down his thigh. “Was… was that me?”

“All you, baby” He says proudly but you don’t understand, only moving to sit back so you could get a better look. You look down at the floor under your hammock, noticing it had been wet too. Neteyam senses the worry in your eyes and shushes you, lifting your chin away from the sight. “It’s a good thing, my love. A very, good thing”

Neteyam removes himself from your hammock to move over to your chest of clothes that secretly hid some of his own, not even bothering to look back at you as he takes off his loincloth. He’s facing away from you but your eyes are only looking at his body, smiling at the way his muscles showed in the light and how his back flexed whenever he moved.

“Are you leaving?” You ask slightly nervous, waiting for him to put on a dry loincloth. You didn’t even know what happened, but you were scared he was going to leave after. What if he never spoke to you after this? What if-

“Are you kicking me out?” He raises an eyebrow as he turns toward you, walking over to you with a cloth in his hand. “Lay back” You glare at him. Again? There was no way you could do that again! “I’m just cleaning you up, Syulang. Need you to lay back so I can dry you off, okay?” His hands are gentle against your thighs as he opens them, waiting until your fully laid back to wipe off your dripping core and thighs. You look at him with a smile, cheeks growing hot as you watch him. He was so adorable, taking care of your body like it was his own. He notices, shaking his head. “Hmm?”

He tosses the cloth in your basket before walking back over to you, slipping onto your hammock where you moved to make room for his large body. His big arms open to you, allowing you to lay your head on his chest comfortably with your legs entwined. You were warm against him, you didn’t even need the blanket that laid atop of you.

“I love you, my mighty warrior” You hum, tracing circles against his chest that vibrates when he laughs and tells you he loves you ten times more, his fingers stroking your hair. “I have one more question before we go to sleep”

You look up at him, laying your chin against his chest. “And what’s that?” A smirk pulls at your lips, the question making your insides churn in the best way possible.

“How does mating work?”

Had a love/hate relationship with this one… but first upload this week!!! Next up: Jake sully smut 😏

Tag list: @neytirishottie @luz15sstuff @rinizitos @erenswife5 @myh3artt @jakescumdump @viajaeger @lu-the-ghost-reader @angelsamor @mashiromochi @luvagirlsworld @doggyteam2028

#avatar fanfiction #avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar x you #avatar james cameron #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam sully x y/n #neteyam x reader #atwow neteyam #neteyam gif #neteyam x reader smut #neteyam smut #neteyam suli x reader

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roosterbruiser · 1 year

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hi! could i request something where jake secretly has an older daughter that he had with his high school sweetheart during their senior year and the squad finds out? i just love the idea of jake and his high school girlfriend being married and just as in love now as they were back then

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲

𝐚 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞

Things hadn't always been easy with Jake--God, no.

Well, really, things had been downright blissful in the beginning. What were teenagers going to fight about anyway? You two just clicked--you knew you were right for each other.

Then you got pregnant. And for a while, actually, things had been really hard.

Between the fateful night of your graduation when your pregnancy test came back positive and the next eight months of your pregnancy, the two of you fought more than you ever had before. It wasn't just because he was trying to do the responsible thing by asking you to marry him--which, let's be honest; he had planned on doing that long before the positive pregnancy test--and the stress of planning the shotgun wedding you were trying really hard not to call a shotgun wedding. It was the hormones and the academy and the moving cross-country in the middle of a difficult pregnancy and all the growing up the two of you had to do so hastily.

The two of you had bickered here and there--which was bound to happen when you are devoted to someone from the seventh grade forward--but had never fought as passionately as you were while you were pregnant. It was senseless arguments, ones sprinkled in between trainings and morning sickness and job searches and taping boxes.

It wasn't even that the two of you didn't love each other. That's what the most frustrating part of it all was, really; the two of you were stupidly in love. Like the kind of love people really only see on screens, which you would never say out loud (even though you know it's true), and wish for but usually never get.

Everything changed the day Charlotte was born. You went into labor in the middle of an impassioned argument--one that was going precisely nowhere, not that either of you would admit it--and made it to the hospital to settle in comfortably for a very uncomfortable seventeen hours of labor.

Young as you both were, scared (terrified, really) as you both were, exhausted as you both were--everything else in the world melted away when you held that little pink, squirming baby against your chest.

Jake had been a wreck, suddenly realizing how absolutely out of his element he was as a measly 19-year-old with a wife and baby on the way, but had not left your side for even a moment. And when Charlotte, that sweet and loud little thing, finally settled with her chubby cheek against the red skin of your chest--something changed in his body. Already he knew that he loved you--God, he loved you so much. But seeing you there on the hospital bed with your hair plastered to your sweaty head and your cheeks flushed and your eyes swollen from crying, that love suddenly expanded and overwhelmed him. He felt like he was going to positively drown in all that love.

As if you sensed it, you looked up at him with an exhausted sort of awe-struck look. Your eyebrows were raised, your dry lips parted, your cheeks flushed, your eyelashes clumped with tears.

"She's got your big mouth," you had said to him, laughing breathily, cradling her against you.

You were shaking--not just from the sheer effort of pushing that baby into this world, but from the overwhelming amount of love coursing through your veins for that little stranger in your arms.

It had made all the nurses and doctors laugh as they still hustled and bustled around your open legs, but neither you or Jake even noticed them. You were looking up at your husband--who was suddenly not that flirty boy with the sweeping blonde hair that let you put your books in his locker, but a man with tears of pride streaming down his face as he looked down at his newly-expanded family for the first time.

He thought he was going to explode--but instead he just sobbed out a laugh. Then he leaned forward and pressed your damp hair out of your face, bringing his salty lips down on your forehead again and again. His quivering hand pressed against Charlotte's back and God, he loved her so much already. He hadn't even really seen her face for the first time, but he knew she was fucking perfect. He could feel it just under the pads of his fingers, could feel your laughter and your tears beneath his trembling lips.

"No more fightin', angel. I promise. I'm sorry," he whispered against your skin, resting his nose against your temple, sniffing hard. "Don't ever wanna fight with you ever again, okay? Love you too damn much to be arguin' all the time."

"I love you so much," you whispered to him, lips trembling as they pressed against his wet ones, bones aching with tired. "I don't ever wanna fight with you again."

But as he cupped your cheek and nuzzled his nose against yours, peppering kisses all along your tears and flushed skin, you knew that he meant it. No more arguing. You knew something was bound to change, knew it would probably change once Charlotte was born, but you hadn't expected it to be so immediate. But you were radiating love now--so happy you felt like your heart was gonna fall out of your chest.

And the two of you, as devoted to each other and your daughter as you are, kept the promise with a fierceness. No more fighting--you meant it and so did he.

Now that you're used to deployments and special detachments and moving and all the rare beauty that is attached to life as a Naval aviator's wife, everything runs smoothly.

He loves that you still send him a picture of Charlotte every single day while he's not home--something you'd done since his very first deployment when she was a few months old. You never missed a day--like ever, which he still didn't understand the logistics of--and always wrote a paragraph about yours and Charlotte's day.

When she was little, it had been something like:

Today Charlotte and I went to the park. It was that cute little one by our house, the one with all the dogs and food trucks. She's getting really good at holding her head up on her own! And she's not so fussy anymore about tummy time, which is a relief. I got to read a little bit of my book while she napped on the picnic blanket. She wore that sunhat your mama got her (as seen in the attached photo) and laughed at a dog that came to investigate her. She's a big fan of animals--might be something to consider, huh? Right now, she is talking my ear off about you, telling me all about those bedtime stories you read and how your voices are so much better than mine. I get it--I'm obsessed with you, too. We miss you. Gonna go pray at the shrine we made for you, I guess. Get home safe, okay? We love you.

But right now, as Jake sits in The Hard Deck only a few days after the successful Uranium Mission, he's smiling as he scrolls through the emails you'd sent him that he's only just now able to read.

He's nursing a beer, shoulders slumped and lips pulled faintly upwards as he basks in the warm evening sun filtering in through the window. It's noisy as ever all around him--Rooster pounding away on the piano with Maverick right there next to him, Coyote and Fanboy shooting the shit as they play a truly pathetic game of pool, someone being thrown overboard--but everything's white noise when he reads your emails.

Your emails are a little bit different now--especially now that Charlotte is twelve. She's less apt to let you take pictures of her now, going through the make-a-face-at-the-camera phase or just running away at the first sign of your lens facing her. You managed to snap a good one the other day, one where her green eyes are glimmering in the sun as she sips on a lemonade. Jake looks closely at the picture and decides that the two of you are at that little bistro by your house that you like to walk to.

Your daughter's glossy hair is longer than it was when he left and God, if she isn't growing more and more beautiful everyday. She looks just like you. She's got your exuberance and even though he would never say it to you or Charlotte, she's even got the little crinkle between her brows that seems to just pulse when she's frustrated.

He rereads your paragraph again.

Well, good morning to you, Lieutenant Husband. I woke up this morning to your daughter's dog peeing on the rug outside the bathroom. And your daughter thought that was the funniest thing in the world until I made her clean it up! I'm a mean mom, I guess. But I made up for it because we walked down to Frankie's and I let her get the bottomless lemonade. Currently writing this during her fourth bathroom trip. Think we're gonna catch a movie in a little bit and then maybe get some ice cream after. We miss you, baby. Can't wait to hear your voice again. And even though she won't say it, I know Charlotte can't wait to take you up on that beach day you promised her. Be good, stay safe, stay alive, okay? We love you more than anything in the world and you're definitely gonna have to re-potty train Sandy when you come home!

He missed you two more than anything in the world. But what he missed the most was just the domesticity the two of you had blissfully settled into. What he wouldn't give to wake up to Sandy peeing on the rug outside the bathroom, to back you up when Charlotte groaned about having to clean it up, to walk down to Frankie's with the two of you and tease Charlotte for using the bathroom so many times, to go see whatever stupid Kristen Stewart movie is playing, to eat a cone of mint chip ice cream and take the long way home. He ached for it, really--even if he knew there was only a few more days until he'd be back in it.

He could hardly wait.

"Who's the teeny-bopper?"

Jake nearly jumps out of his skin, jerking back against the wooden booth and snapping up to look up at the squadron that has suddenly gathered all around him. It's Payback that's asked, his eyebrow perched as he leans in to get a closer look at Charlotte.

"God, she looks just like you," Phoenix adds, narrowing her eyes on what is essentially Hangman's mouth and nose on a much smaller face. "Younger sister?"

Everyone's staring at Jake now.

It isn't even that he's been hiding the two of you--he loves showing you off. But it's just that it hasn't come up and quite frankly, they've been a little busy the past few weeks.

Bob's always been good at reading people--so when he studies the photograph and then studies the redness in Hangman's cheeks and the way he wets his tongue nervously, Bob knows. Bob knows before anyone else--besides Maverick and Coyote, that is.

"How's my niece?" Coyote asks, clapping Jake on the shoulder with a sly grin.

Jake sighs, shaking his head softly at Javy before submitting to it all--thrusting his phone forward to let the squadron read your email and look at the picture of Charlotte.

"Niece? No way," Fanboy exclaims, brows furrowed. "No way."

But now Rooster is holding the phone, his mouth agape, zooming in on Charlotte's face and it is suddenly undeniable to everyone there--that is absolutely the spawn of Jake Seresin. Right down to the dimples and the green eyes, that is his daughter.

"Charlotte," Jake says softly, trying to choke down all that pride that is inching its way up his throat. "She's twelve. And she's the best person that's ever lived, obviously."

Phoenix would've snorted if she hadn't been so totally awe-struck.

"You taking all the credit for that?" Rooster quips, shooting a playful smirk Jake's way.

But Jake just holds his hands up in surrender, sighing as he shakes his head.

"I'll give that to the wife," he says fondly. "She's also the best person that's ever lived. Better than all of you combined."

Coyote takes a sip of his own beer before nodding.

"Oh, absolutely," he agrees at once. "That woman's a saint for putting up with you and raising that Hellion."

Javy's joking of course--he'd actually never seen a more communicative, loving relationship than yours and Jake's. And he'd never met such a well-rounded girl as Charlotte. She had a good head on her shoulders, put there by her parents. Javy was even sure that Charlotte knew more than he did already and she hadn't even finished middle school.

"A wife, too?" Bob asks softly, smiling as he reads your email.

"And a dog," Fanboy adds softly, scanning over your paragraph.

Jake hums, nodding, trying not to look too pathetically in love with you. Even though he is, in fact, pathetically in love with you.

"Going on thirteen years," Jake says. "Thirteen happy years."

And everyone knows that he means it, especially when he just glances back at his phone in Rooster's hands and smiles softly to himself. He is thoroughly in love with you and with your daughter--Hell, he just loves your shared life. He's itching to go home, even if a poorly house-trained dog is waiting for him.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Phoenix says, bumping him with her eyebrows furrowed.

"And when can we meet them?" Payback adds.

Jake is grinning now--just the prospect of his Navy family meeting his real family makes affection swarm his heart. He shrugs.

"Maybe we could figure something out before everyone has to go. I'm sure we can get Charlotte out of school for a couple of days. Family's a good enough reason for me--bet it will be for the wife, too."

He's gushing with pride--he's not even trying to, but he really is. Coyote is used to the way Jake practically glows when he talks about you and Charlotte. Hell, he even gets it. You're beautiful and funny and kind and whip-smart. You hold it down and make it look easy. And Charlotte is a perfect balance of the two of you, striking every single genetic sweet-spot.

"I'm shocked," Rooster says. "You're so...gooey right now."

"Yeah, Bagman," Phoenix says with a smile. "Going all soft on us."

Hangman wants to roll his eyes again. Really, he does. But he just can't. So he takes another sip of his beer, thinks about the way you would be cuddled into him right now and quipping back at Rooster as the two of you watch Charlotte sweetly order her third lemonade from Penny, and shrugs with a grin tugging on his lips.

"I guess I am," he smiles.

here is my tag list!!

if you liked this, consider checking out my Jake x You story!

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cuntboyprincess · 9 months

Text

GYNECOLOGIST STORY 🚺

This is a TRUE story, everything really happened!

About 2 years ago as I was still very freaking dysphoric, I had to visit the hospital for a check up on my hormones and to talk about a possible hysterectomy ~removing uterus and ovaries~. They have a special section for trans-people there. But this section is part of the ,,gynecology and obstetrics" department. So you basically had to sit in a waiting room together with 95% pregnant women. It was incredibly humiliating. Whenever I visited, they usually had a longer talk with me, took some blood and did a check up on my hormone levels. But this time was different. I mentioned how I had considered a hysterectomy and if it was possible to get an operation date.

I got a date and then they told me I had to wait outside in the waiting room because I should see the gynecologist and have a talk with them as well. They were basically next door. I was about 19-20 years old and up until this day I had never visited an actual gynecologist. I had avoided it and it was basically my worst nightmare. I actually had no idea what they even do there. But I took it kind of literal when they told me ,,have a talk with the gynecologist". I thought I should go see them and basically just talk about the hysterectomy. So not knowing what is going to happen now, I was called in to the examination room. I barely had closed the door behind me and a fat, grumpy woman with glasses on in her 50s stood face to face to me in front of me as she had opened a 2nd door. She was checking me out in a bit of an derogatory kind of way. She reminded me a little bit of Berta from 2 & a half men. And for some reason it terrified me. Before she said ,,Hello" she said ,,Take off your shoes, pants and panties. Then come in." Then she closed the door.

I was so in shock and totally mortified. I might was very naive but I simply didn't expect I'd actually be physically examined now. I felt like fainting. I wanted to leave so bad but I felt quite helpless in this situation, as if there was no way out. So against my will I took of my clothing. There was no way I could enter this room like this. I was standing there, not knowing what to do. I felt like crying so hard and as if I was literally waiting for my execution. After a while she opened the door and said annoyed ,,What's up with you?? Come in!" I felt my heart pounding and my face turning fire red as I entered. There were two other female assistants in that room. Berta ~I call her this now~ said ,,Lay down with your legs spread, your feet must be up there." I had never seen a gynecologist chair before, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was so naive I had absolutely no idea what is done at the gynecologist. I had no choice, I lay down and I felt so embarrassed and degraded in this moment, I wanted to cry so bad. ,,Ever used tampons??", one of them asked. ,,Mhm" I answered, but it happened automatically, I felt like everything was happening in a fog, I was in a mental state where I just froze. Actually I didn't ever use tampons, I had avoided touching or interacting with my vagina in ANY way possible. So Berta came back with a dildo-shaped object in her hand, rubbing some lubrication on it. In my mind I said ,,This is not actually happening. There is NO way", my mouth sure stood open a bit because I was so shocked by this. Then she entered this thing into my vagina, just like that. I let out a little moan because it was totally unexpected and hurt a bit and I wasn't used to this sensation down there. My heart was racing so fast it felt as if it was about to explode. This was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I felt so degraded and traumatized because I had no idea what was going on. I just know there was a fat, old woman staring at my vagina while penetrating me with a dildo shaped object. Turned out it was some ultrasound thing and she was examining my ovaries and uterus, taking ultrasound pictures.

It was I guess the first time I ever had such a big, long object inside of me. I basically felt these sensations for the very first time in my life. She moved this thing around inside of me, looking at the computer. And I felt my body getting aroused. Like, I was in absolute mental agony, dying of embarrassment and feeling as dysphoric as I never had before...but at the same time I felt as if my cervix & uterus were tickling and my clitoris was stiffening. This made me feel even MORE horrible and degraded. After a while she pulled it out again, I could feel the... longness of this thing as she pulled it out. It also made a very quiet ,,blop" sound and I let out another short moan, perhaps because I got wet during the procedure.

I felt like throwing up, I'm not sure if my cheeks were fire red out of shame or if I was pale like a ghost. She said I could go back outside and get dressed. I was for certain traumatized after this. In the end I didn't get the operation because I didn't want to come back there ever so I didn't, I started visiting a different hospital where I do these checkups. Also I couldn't leave my house for a couple days, I was very depressed for several weeks and it probably changed me for ever.

It also marks how I started masturbating vaginally. After this experience I started to pleasure my insides more and more until it was excessive, like for the fiest time I started to shove things inside my vagina, because now I craved the tingling feeling around my cervix I had felt during this examination, I also craved embarrassment and exposure and dysphoria.

I think this experience was partly responsible for how fucked up I am today 🫢🥹 I'm so fucked up I got dripping wet by all these memories and now I'd LOVE to go see a gynecologist to get off to the embarrassment and exposure later on.

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mamaspeckles · 3 months

Note

Venner is a fucking child

Instead of accusing me of nasty stuff and coming to me with this remark let me educate you because you seem like a chronically online individual. Here is why there is proof to believe that veneer is a older age in his teens.

This image shows the official wiki for veneer and his crimes

And if you look at his crime you can see that he was charged for fraud and tax evasion.

Reason 1:tax evasion and age

Tax evasion is an illegal activity in which a person(adult or 18-19 year old) or entity deliberately avoids paying a true tax liability. Those caught evading taxes are generally subject to criminal charges and substantial penalties. To willfully fail to pay taxes is a federal offense

Regardless of age, a company or a individual are generally required to file a tax return if they earn an amount of money that exceeds the basic personal amount but you do get charged as an adult if you are 18+ if you are a child with a job(15-16) you aren’t obligated to do your own taxes and your guardian would be in charge of it.

So why is this relevant?? Well that somehow proves that velvet and veneer are legal in age. But I do agree with the incest and minor x adult ship being gross but as for me writing about him or sexualizing isn’t a problem. So go worry about better things than worrying about a teen girl simping for a zest fest.

Reason 2: teens talk sex and have intimacy

I’m your teenager years, there are a lot of hormones coursing through a boy and girls body. This is necessary for puberty. However, because your body is so amped up with increased sexual hormones, you are probably getting sexual thoughts all of the time -some appropriate & some not appropriate. You can't help it. And veneer and velvet being canon teenagers probably think and even commit those acts( even if it’s a kids movie teens still think about and have sex)

Teens have sex all the time around the world so stop acting like veneer and teenagers as a whole are the Virgin Mary. I myself as a teenager thinks about sex and as you can see I write about it and it’s proven by doctors normal for teens to talk about it. Do not treat a literal pixel as a 5 year old who needs his mommy to hold his hands. Chill out bro. If you want to accuse me of being a full blown creep don’t use the anonymous option you coward.

Learn yo facts boo boo

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

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two-red-lungs · 2 years

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i have perv!eddie brain rot please give me more

YES YES I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS

Perv!Eddie Headcanons/Stuff:

I say firstly, Eddie is a perv in a NICE way. He’s not a creep. He doesn’t look inside any windows, or violate any personal space stuff.

But OH MAN does he think about it, all the time. Especially when it comes to you.

Eddie’s passive nature of being a 19-20 year old man and thus horny by default PLUS his touched starved nature???? This man is constantly thinking about sex.

Eddie Munson is always in a state of having some sort of inappropriate or lewd thought rattling around his noggin and it literally tortures him.

Example. You’re getting burgers together. You lick the burger sauce off your lips with your tongue and hhhhhhHHH Eddie is looking down at his burger very intensely because those lips, and that tongue?

Oh man he thinks about them ALL THE TIME. How they’d feel on his lips. How warm your mouth would be. That tongue on the underside of his dick.

And when Eddie hangs out with the object of his affections he is SO jumpy and on his toes and bad at hiding that sometimes his skin literally feels on fire with hormones.

Anyways.

He’s got a thing for panties. And bras. He will keep them, if he can get away with it: but often feels wracked with guilt by it. Still, something about the lace…. It will turn him on immediately.

He jerks off with panties wrapped around his hand. It makes him insane, every time.

Perv!Eddie gets a boner when you brush his upper thigh with yours while watching a movie on the couch. He shoves a pillow onto his lap and wonders why god likes to torture him.

He literally can’t help but track your hips and waist, sometimes. Like, his eyes move of their own accord and he’s just hnnnnngg

And GOD FORBID you get high with him. If you get snuggly under the influence? He’s being tortured. This is torture. Especially since he can feel the wire of your bra as you’re laid up against him in the back of his van, reading comics.

Perv!Eddie jerks off ALL THE TIME HELLO???? Like an insane amount. His poor dick. School bathroom. Back of his van. Bedroom. He’s literally just desperate for it.

He also has a lot of dick twitches. You bite your lower lip? Dick twitch. You grab his upper arm as you pass him? Dick twitch.

Eddie has an insane collection of porno mags. Like he could open a library.

And when he jerks it to them, he talks; he’s loud because his uncle is always out by evening when he gets home. He talks to the girls, about how beautiful her tits are, about how good she’s feel, about how he wishes she was you and fuck he’s cumming on his dirty comforter

Perv!Eddie knows your bedroom is on the first floor and you’re his friend and it would be so fucking easy to just LOOK IN between those blinds while you change, but he’s biting the skin of his knuckles in his van and swearing to himself he won’t.

Instead he just blasts metal to cover up the noises and furiously jerks one out while waiting for you to change and come back to the car.

Perv!Eddie nearly dies in gym because there are pretties prancing around in short shorts and he’s so hungry for any sort of touch or stimulation that watching them prance around gives him a boner, so he bails and runs to the woods to smoke

He has sex toys: they’re hidden in a box in the closet. Mostly for masturbation. But he did splurge on one magic wand when he was prospectively hoping to get some pussy. Poor Eddie.

TL:DR He’s basically a mess. A horny, horny mess who feels so gross about himself getting all riled up by cheerleader skirts and lip gloss but he just can’t fucking help it.

#minors dont look #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #stranger things s #my writing #perv!eddie

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hannibals-favourite-meal · 1 year

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Something

Dean Winchester x plus size reader

Not marriage, not kids but something

Warnings: no use of y/n, a little bit of Dean’s insecurity and John’s crap parenting, no dialogue, mutual pining, childhood friends to lovers, implied smut, mentions of death of a parent

WC: 1k

Minors DNI

Settling down wasn’t in the cards for hunters. There was too much risk, to both themselves and their families. Dean had accepted this a long time ago, pretty much as soon as John first laid a gun in his small hands and told him what lurked in the dark.

He had tried once before but it never worked out. So, he stuck to random hookups with women that would never see his face again. Every once in a while, Sam would attempt to get his older brother to at least entertain the idea of what could be, what should have been, but he was shut down every time.

Dean was fine with his bachelor lifestyle, actually, he was more than fine with it, but there were moments in the middle of the night when he would turn over in his sleep and reach for someone who wasn’t there. He would watch families interact in those shitty roadside diners, all smiles and laughter like it was a 5 star restaurant. He felt a lurching in his chest, a deep ache that not even his best whiskey could soothe.

But then, you came home.

You were another hunter’s kid from years ago. Similar story, one parent taken out, the other driven mad with the need for revenge. You were a regular fixture in Bobby’s house and thus, in the Winchesters’ lives. The last time Dean had seen you was a month before Sam ran away to Stanford. You were freshly 19 and being forced to leave.

Your mother was taking you to France, apparently the werewolf pack that had killed her partner fled there. She gave you no choice in the matter, just like every other hunting parent. Dean can vividly recall the way you clung to him as you sobbed and begged him not to forget about you. He had held you close, laying a kiss to your hair like it was the last time while he promised it wouldn’t be.

And in a way, he was right. He did see you again and he did get to wrap his arms around your now thicker waist in a hug that was almost 20 years overdue. Sure you were covered in blood and ghoul guts but if it wasn’t the best damn hug Dean ever had.

You were quickly stolen away from your stolen minivan that you had been living out of and forced into one of the empty rooms in the bunker (one that was conveniently close to number 11). There was the compulsory catch up and then scolding on your end for all the stupid things the boys had done, but once the smacking over the head and general berating was complete, everything was strangely normal.

It was nice to have an extra set of hands for research, someone else that Sam could bore with his weird true crime fetish, a person that was actually willing to help Castiel learn to be human, another like minded hunter that could binge watch Netflix and pig out with Dean on the couch.

Dean was happy to actually have a friend, a good one at that. But there was something deep inside him that dared to wonder.

You were beautiful, intelligent and a hell of a hunter. He had been dreaming of you for 15 years, his teenage hormones evolved into a bone deep lust that blinded him whenever he saw even a sliver of your skin. He longed to feel your generous curves under his palms, your lips pressed against his own. But more than that, he wanted to wake up next to you every day. Have you sit next to him in Baby, singing old rock songs as he drove. Dean wanted you, through and through.

He knew he didn’t deserve you, not after the things he’s done. But you disagreed.

It happened so quickly, Dean didn’t see it coming. Suddenly, it was you and not Sam that was patching him up. You were the one going on runs with him. It was you that would sit up with him, glass of whiskey in hand as the ancient record player crooned in the corner.

He only realised what was going on one night in September. The Bunker had been freezing, the weather unseasonably cold. Dean had retired to his room with a couple beers and his Scooby-Doo box set, determined to wait out the cold in comfort as his little brother tried his hand at fixing the boiler.

It was about 1 and a half seasons in when there came a knock on his door. He was going to ignore it, thinking it was Sam telling him that he also failed at repairing the heating but instead, your voice softly called out to him.

You shuffled in after a moment, and Dean couldn’t help but smile. You must’ve been wearing at least five layers of clothes (including one of his henleys) and a large blanket wrapped around your shoulders. His stomach lurched at the sight of your shy smile and chattering teeth. With no hesitation, he lifted the covers and you dove in, snuggling against his chest as he wrapped an arm around your back.

Your hand came to rest softly on his chest, right above his heart and Dean could only pray that you didn’t feel the frantic beat of his pulse. You did.

You said his name so softly he almost didn’t hear it. He looked down at you and his breath caught in his throat. Before he could react, your lips were on his. He froze for only a second, his brain not comprehending that this was actually happening and it wasn’t some dream.

But then your hands were in his hair and his own had traveled down to your thick thighs, pulling you up to straddle his lap. The cold, the fear, the insecurities were forgotten; washed away in your embrace and your lips.

He held you close as you took each other apart piece by piece, unwilling to let you go even for a single second now that he had you, as he did every night after. You saved him and kept him afloat. He lived for you, for your smile, for your touch.

It wasn’t exactly marriage and it wasn’t kids but it was something, and for a hunter like Dean, it was more than enough.

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voxofthevoid · 18 days

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Posting Schedule: April & May 2024

I'm merging the months since the April anniversary project has outgrown April rather egregiously. It is funny how I said just last month that I'm cutting down my updates to four a month, and now we have eight each for these two months. But to be fair, the word count is pretty much the same because these are shorter fics (...mostly).

April:

2. Chapter 1/1 of the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself

JJK; goyuu; When Yuuji’s fifteen, Gojou Satoru dies; when Yuuji’s seventeen, Gojou Satoru is born.

6. Chapter 1/1 of (it wasn't hard to realize) love's the death of peace of mind

JJK; goyuu; When a blip in time lands sixteen-year-old Satoru in the future, he finds himself in possession of a cursed object sporting his own eyes and a grieving boy who can’t look away from those eyes.

12. Chapter 1/2 of because the negative sex was born into a bloodline

JJK; kenita; Yuuji makes reasonable assumptions about the handsome man stalking him. Kenjaku gets to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

14. Chapter 1/1 of caught the teacher giving his eyes to a student

JJK; goyuu; Megumi finds out that Gojou’s been giving Yuuji some hands-on sex education.

19. Chapter 1/1 of will we remain stuck in the throat of gods

JJK; sukuita with past!goyuu; A bad breakup isn’t a good excuse to fuck the monster rotting your soul, but Yuuji’s made worse decisions—probably.

23. Chapter 1/1 of this was something you incited, you opened up and invited

JJK; goyuu; Satoru learns why most alphas don’t fuck other alphas.

26. Chapter 1/1 of we can be anything we want to be (make shit up and live it completely)

JJK; goyuu; An offhand comment leads to Yuuji discovering the dubious joys of pet ownership.

30. Chapter 1/1 of this is the wrong story

JJK; goyuu; In a faraway forest enclosed in Brahmic barriers, there’s a boy who loves and hates the world in equal measure.

May

3. Chapter 1/1 of vulgarity (the glory and the virtue died so long ago)

JJK; goyuu; Yuuji’s hormones battle his morals while his half-naked teacher sleeps on his lap.

8. Chapter 1/1 of somebody ought to corrupt you on the dance floor and take you home

JJK; hiita; A wardrobe malfunction drastically alters the aftermath of Yuuji’s fight with Higuruma.

10. Chapter 1/1 of never seen such a pretty wicked thing

JJK; goyuu; Satoru has a late-night philosophical discussion with the King of Curses.

15. Chapter 2/2 of because the negative sex was born into a bloodline

JJK; kenita; Yuuji makes reasonable assumptions about the handsome man stalking him. Kenjaku gets to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

19. Chapter 1/1 of i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

JJK; goyuu; Satoru’s ward is in that peculiar purgatory between puberty and presentation. He tries to help.

23. Chapter 1/1 of you're like a goddess in disguise (i'm drowning slowly in your eyes)

JJK; fem!goyuu; Yuuji finds religion in her teacher’s tits, violently.

26. Chapter 1/1 of but lover, you're the one to blame

JJK; goyuu; Yuuji acquires a doll that’s sympathetically connected to Satoru. It’s innocent until it isn’t.

31. Chapter 1/7 of i can offer you a black-lit paradise

JJK; itagofushi; Satoru plays favorites with his students in the worst way possible. Megumi suffers, while Yuuji’s oblivious—and horny.

The dates are tentative, the order isn't set in stone, and I am about to become void soup.

If anything's repeated or mismatched, ignore for now. I'll look over this again when these fic titles/dates aren't at risk of setting my eyes on fire.

#posting schedule #goyuu #sukuita #hiita #kenita #itagofushi #vox unhinged

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red-pill-to-swallow · 7 months

Text

How to skin

Hey babes,

today I want to talk about skin. Our skin – especially the skin in our face – is one of the first things that we recognize in another person.

This is the reason why it is so important to have clean and vibrant looking skin. Your skin color doesn’t matter as long as it is healthy looking and free of pimples.

Clear skin is a universal sign for good health and it can elevate the look of a person completely.

Us humans tend to find other people more attractive if they have good skin – it’s something in our genes.

Personally, I’m blessed with good skin – I never had acne as a teenager, only some lonely pimples right before my period would start.

However, when my gynecologist put me on the pill when I was around 19 years old I suddenly developed acne and it was horrible. That’s when I started to take my skincare very serious and made a ton of research that I want to share with you.

Disclaimer: I am not a dermatologist. Those are simply my experiences and what I’ve learned over the years.

Why do we even get pimples?

A very short summary: we get pimples, because sebum is clogging our pores and bacteria starts to grow in the pore which makes it inflamed.

Is it my fault that I get pimples? Am I not clean enough?

Yes and no.

Yes – there might be people who are experiencing acne just because they don’t cleanse their face good enough. However that’s something that happens very rarely.

Most people with acne wash and clean their face more often and more thoroughly than the average person.

If you experience heavy acne, don’t try to treat it at home. Instead, seek out a dermatologist to see if the acne is fungal.

I would also recommend getting blood-work done to see if the acne is hormonal.

If you never had acne and suddenly get pimples all over your face it could also be because of your birth control, especially if your birth control is hormonal.

Like I said before, I suddenly developed acne after my gynecologist put me on the pill. The reason for that was that the pill had gestagen in it which is similar to progesterone.

Progesterone is basically stimulating the skin to produce more oils and sebum – pores get clogged more easily and pimples form.

Diet also plays a big part in acne. Personally, I don’t see a difference if I leave out dairy or gluten but some people almost see an immediate effect.

I wouldn’t recommend just stopping consuming gluten and dairy one day, please speak to your doctor beforehand.

Instead, try to limit your sugar and fat intake first before you start to take drastic actions.

My acne is neither hormonal nor fungal, what can I do?

Having a healthy skin-barrier is the key to having clean and vibrant looking skin!

Most of us fell victim to Clearasil and other harsh drugstore products in our youth. I remember slathering my face with a 3 in 1 face wash, face mask and peeling once and my skin was red for days. At that time I didn’t know that the products were simply way to harsh for the skin on my face and wondered why it didn’t work as good as in the commercials.

If you’re just starting out with your skincare journey, here are a few tips that you should consider when you pick out products and a routine:

- a healthy skin-barrier should be your first priority. Everything else can be addressed later on.

- all the products for your face should be fragrance free or contain very little fragrance.

- stick to your routine for at least one month before changing it

- introduce new products one after one and take your time to do so

How does a good basic skincare routine look like?

You don’t need thousands of products in the beginning, keep it simple and gentle.

A good routine could look like this:

Step 1: use a gentle cleanser to wash your face in the morning. Nothing too heavy. I like to use a foam cleanser for this.

Step 2: use a hydrating toner and apply it with your hands, so you get the most out of your product.

Step 3: while your face is still damp with the toner, apply a hyaluronic acid serum. Never put hyaluronic acid on dry skin, it won’t do anything.

Step 4: wait for the hyaluronic acid to sink into your skin and apply a hydrating face cream all over your face. Do this even if your skin is oily – it still needs moisture.

Step 5: apply sunscreen all over your face and neck. Sunscreen is essential, especially if you use exfoliants.

Step 1: use a cleansing oil or cleansing balm in the evening. This is to remove your makeup and sunscreen from your face.

Step 2: use a gel cleanser and massage your skin for at least one minute. It’s important that you cleanse every small part of your face. Especially tricky is the skin around your nostrils and on your chin.

Step 3: again, use a hydrating toner and apply it with your hands.

Step 4: apply a thick face cream all over your face, best is something with panthenol.

What are the things that I should avoid?

- touching your face with dirty hands. Always wash your hands before you cleanse in the morning and in the evening. Avoid touching your face with your hands during the day.

- stop picking at pimples. I know – it’s frustrating, but the more you pick on your spots, the more inflamed they get. There also is a danger of you spreading around all that bacteria with your hands and possibly getting scars.

- Never ever use physical exfoliators in the face. They damage your skin with micro cuts that you can’t see with your eyes and damage more than they help. Always look for chemical exfoliators!

See you soon!

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enby-iggy · 7 months

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Im going to try and explain my gender to the 0 people who are paying attention to this blog, because I deserve to ramble a little bit I think

For context I'm afab. I've pretty much always known I wasn't a man, which is a big part of why it took me so long to question my gender at all. I specifically remember seeing the term transmasc online when I was first discovering queer terms and being like "hmm I wonder if that could be me" and then looking it up and seeing it listed as a synonym for trans man and just being like "oh ok then guess im still cis". I didn't start seriously questioning until like. April of this year I think

I don't know why it took me so long to consider the idea of being nonbinary, but it was actually a conversation with some of my trans friends that made me consider it. I remember saying something like "I may be cis but I'd trade my female body for a completely neutral one in a heartbeat" and one of my friends was like "r u sure ur cis lmao". Silly stuff. My whole thing was like, I want a body that looks like nothing, that I can make look like anything. If I want to wear mens' clothes I don't want boobs that get in the way of that. But I want to be able to wear a dress and not have like, idk body hair and a dick getting in the way of that. And I said stuff to my friends like, I don't rly want hormones but Id wear a binder to look more neutral, Id voice train and get my voice deeper, that makes sense right

My biggest hangup was on pronouns, because I was REALLY proud of being a she/her. But I decided, hey I can't knock they/them until I try it right? So I proposed a they/them test for a week, and never looked back lmao. I went through a phase of absolutely despising she/her for a month or two, but I've since made up with the pronoun set as you can see in my bio. She/her and I are good friends now we've settled our differences <3

Putting the rest under a cut for the sake of my 2 followers' TLs not being flooded because I still have much to say

My gender is very multifaceted, but in the physical realm you could call me transmasc. It took me a while to realize but I hate my boobs (or rather, took me a while to realize that disliking your boobs is not normal lmfao), to the point where I very quickly went from "eh I might get a binder for some outfits" to "I NEED to get top surgery". I'm also not a fan of my hips and ass, never have been but I don't think there's much I can do about that one. I also have solid evidence for vocal dysphoria, in that I can remember a specific time as a kid where I learned that your voice sounds deeper to you than it does to other people because of the way you hear it through your skull. This disappointed me GREATLY because I always prided myself on the idea that I had a boyish voice. I do think I'd like to train my voice lower, if possible. Lastly for physical dysphoria I've always had a thing about my height, but I mostly learned to ignore it since boys LOVE to make fun of girls (and other boys I suppose) for their height. I learned to shut it out and make fun of myself as well as a coping mechanism, because it really did and always has bugged me. But what can I do, I've 5 foot even at 19 years old and it doesn't seem to be changing any time soon.

As for my internal experience of gender...I think this low-quality ms paint chart will explain it best.

Basically my gender exists on two simultaneous sliding scales--one of them a distinctly gendered outside-of-binary gender that I'm choosing to call neutrois, because it's an existing term that works for what I'm talking about. The other gender is a female-aligned gender that is distinct from cisgender femininity but is still feminine in nature, which I am choosing to call femme because I hate the words woman and girl and female in relation to my own gender. I can experience both of these scales at maximum intensity--bigendered as both neutrois and femme at the same time--or minimum intensity--essentially agendered, no distinct experience of gender either way--OR I can be some strange combination of these, such as minimum femme and maximum neutrois or half neutrois and full femme, etc. I've found that the strength of ANY gender fluctuates over longer periods of time, in that I tend to feel low amounts of gender for a period of about two weeks, followed by higher feelings of gender for about two weeks, during which the relation of femme to neutrois fluctuates on a daily basis.

As for labels, the best way I can think to describe this is bigenderflux, and also demigirl (or demifemme, as I prefer to call it). But for obvious reasons I usually just call myself nonbinary. I also like terms like librafemme, describing the property of being both agender and feminine, and juxera, describing the property of being feminine aligned in a way that is different from the way cis women are feminine. But it's...hard to label.

The funny thing about this is that it doesn't really line up with my gender expression much at all. There are days that I'm feeling fully agender or fully neutrois, and am strangely in the mood to wear a dress. Or days that I'm feeling mostly femme and want to present like a boy. So realistically my gender doesn't really have any bearing on anything at all. But I like charting it, because a few months ago if I'd woken up feeling feminine I would have spiraled into a panic about how I must be faking being trans. But this allows me to understand myself and predict how I'll feel so I know that when I feel a certain way, that's normal and part of who I am.

I feel like I had more to say in this post but I guess this is purely a gender summary. Now you know I guess

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skippyv20 · 1 month

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Our Prayer List🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s treasured son-in-law. He has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer with mets to the liver and lymph nodes throughout his abdomen. He has a very poor prognosis - less than a year, probably just a few months. He is only 48 years old. Our friend is heartbroken, her son-in-law has been in the family for 17 yrs, and he is so very loved. Mar 05 Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s mother. She had brain surgery that was successful. The next day she had issues with her kidneys. The surgeons found cancer on her bladder. She is scheduled for surgery once again. Our friend asks for prayers for successful surgery, cancer removal, and for her mother to feel love. Mar 05

Prayers and good thought for our friend’s sister who was burned badly and must be under nurses care for the next two months. Mar 01

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s husband who is feeling poorly and is suffering from pain and struggling. Feb 29

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s husband who will be seeing a specialist on March 13th. Also prayers for our friend to feel God’s loving presence during the trial she and her husband are facing. Feb 26

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is awaiting results from test. Feb 24

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend and her family who are mourning the loss of their beloved SIL who battled so hard after surgeries. Feb 15

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s beloved husband. Due to a recent bout of illness he has been having investigations. He had his Prostrate removed due to cancer and all has been well for 5 years. The investigations have shown some abnormal blood results and it has been suggested he be referred back to the Urology department. He also has raised liver enzymes too. So obviously he is not 100% health wise and the obvious concern is that the cancer may be back. Also, prayers and good thoughts for our friend to feel peace and God’s loving presence. Feb 13

Prayers and good thoughts for our friends in New Zealand. It’s the one year ago today, their region was struck by cyclone Gabrielle and almost completely destroyed. So many people are still waiting for the insurance companies ( and the local authorities) to release funds in order for them to rebuild. Some areas are still covered in silt. Feb 13 Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s mother who is feeling anxious. Feb 13

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s nephew who is struggling. Feb 11

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who must have surgery on her foot once again. Also, she is having heart issues. Feb 6

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who needs to have re-surgery to repair her broken femur bone, which has not fused. She was told that it was surgery failure the first time, and she would have to travel to back to Singapore to have the re-surgery done. Feb 5

Prayers and good thoughts for our King Charles III as he battles cancer. We pray also for his family. Feb 5 (Princess of Wales prayers scroll down to Jan 17)

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s nephew who has been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Feb 3

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s daughter who has a benign autonomous nodule which produces the T3 hormone nonstop. She meets with an oncology surgeon Feb 9th. Also, her grandson contracted mono and developed an enlarged spleen - which means he has to be careful with lifting things, etc. and is 19yrs old and thinks he is invincible. And also our friend who hurt her knee and face surgery. She also faces dental surgery. Feb 01

We pray for all children who are being bullied. We pray for them to be kept safe and out of harm’s way physically and mentally. Jan 19

We pray for our friend who for 36 years has suffered from a progressive, painful, debilitating neurological illness that has her housebound, and she is tired. Jan 19

We pray for Princess of Wales as she recovers after major surgery. We pray for her recovery to be quick and without any issues. We pray for Prince of Wales and children as they go through this trial as a family. Jan 17

We pray and send good thoughts for our friend who again is facing struggles, that don’t seem to end Jan 11

We pray and send good thoughts for our friend and her daughter who is going through some things. Jan9

We pray and send good thoughts for Jenna. She has just lost her dad to cancer and it’s hitting her hard.Jan8

We pray and send good thoughts for our friend who is struggling with family issues and is looking for answers as to how to resolve them. She is very hurt by it all. Jan8

We pray and send good thoughts for our friend’s two daughters.One has multiple health issues and is feeling overwhelmed. She has appointments with two specialists in January and I am praying for some positive outcomes. Her other daughter is an addict and has been in hospital since New Years eve with a serious blood infection. Once she is discharged she plans to return to a very unhealthy living situation, even though her brother offered to take her in. Even after discharge she will require home care for the picc line. Jan7

We pray and send good thoughts for one of our Tumblr friends who has stepped away and we await her return. Jan6

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blouisparadise · 11 months

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Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of May. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Seven, Seven | Explicit | 1877 words

“Hello, baby girl,” Harry says as soon as the nurse places the bundle of joy into his arms. “We’ve been dying to meet you.”

2) A Sunny Afternoon | Explicit | 2002 words

Harry gets together with friends to celebrate life and uses the occasion to announce that he officially has an album finished.

or the celebration of Harry's House before it became what it is now.

3) Five Zero Five | Explicit | 2502 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

“So,” says Harry, and his fingers trail on Louis’ jaw, over his exposed neck. “I heard your cover tonight. Arctic Monkeys, really nice.” His fingers linger on Louis’ neck, stroke the Adam’s apple.

4) James Corden’s Lap Better Than Mine? | Mature | 3133 words

James takes Louis onto his lap, and Harry is furious. He cannot wait to get home and punish his kitten and show him Louis his.

5) Where The Water Touches The Sun | Explicit | 3400 words

Prompt #63: L&H in an established relationship where Louis is 5 months pregnant and the pheromones have made him horny as hell, it gets even worse when he wakes up and walks into his kitchen and sees his sexy husband fixing her sink with his shirt off. Maybe he has a fetish for men fixing things. Hot and kinky smut please. Harry calling lou a sexy milf while doing it and obviously the pregnancy kink stuff with h telling l about wanting to keep him full of his babies.

6) Student Teacher | Mature | 3901 words

Request: Louis is... 19 ish and Harry is 24 ish and umm So! Harry was like a student aid for one of Louis's classes in his Senior year of high school and Louis's friends always secretly teased him abt his crush on Harry. it wasn't that good of a secret bc Harry found out about it, he was 23 at the time and found it really funny. Anyways it's a couple of years later and Louis is a freshman in college and runs into Harry at a park while chasing his dog... coco, whos one of those white crusty alleyway dogs. (I love them.) Harry just hears a voice yelling and sees a dog running so he like catches the dog Louis catches up to Harry and he's all like. "omg." Harry looks Louis up and down and he's like "Oh you haven't grown." Louis pouts and then Harry ends up asking him out Louis gets scared and says no, but Harry gets his number anyways and they hang out at Harry's house (haha) as "friends" but they end up fucking on Harry's kitchen island instead of finishing decorating the cupcakes for Harry's goddaughter's bake sale fundraiser?

7) Ahora | Explicit | 4684 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Taylor Swift

Dom Taylor is tired and stressed after one of her shows at the Eras tour. Soft, sub Louis is waiting for her backstage. Rough sex ensues.

8) The Changing Season In A Messy World | Not Rated |8649 words

Prompt #35: H&L alpha son starting to get the teenage moody alpha hormones. One day he release all his anger on his sweet mother when he tried to talk to his son & harry don't really appreciate that. "He might be your mom, but he is my wife first & nobody talks to my wife like that"

9) Hide And Seek | Not Rated | 9808 words

Louis is 14 years old when his father dies and he's 19 when he meets General Styles.

10) Roommates | Mature| 13202 words

"I'm so happy I could kiss you! Thank you so much." Louis smiled up at Harry, who looked back with a daring smirk.

"Then why don't you?"

Louis blushed at that comment and leaned up pressing a gentle kiss to Harry's lips, it was soft and sweet. Something Harry hadn't experienced before.

"Happy?" Louis asked and giggled.

"Very." He answered.

11) Captain Cupid | Not Rated | 15331 words

“Right,” Niall started, finally getting the opportunity to unleash his horrible plan. “Well, as you both know, I’m an excellent matchmaker. A human Cupid.The best of the best at finding one's mate. And I’ve decided it’s time to make money doing it.”

“Oh, God no,” Louis groaned, picking up his empty plate and placing it in the sink. He needed to escape as quickly as possible.

Or the one where Niall enlists his friends to help start a speed dating side hustle. Things don't go as planned... or maybe they do?

12) After Hours | Explicit | 16707 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Pedro Pascal.

Louis Tomlinson is many things. A dancer, a barista, a one time con man. He's rarely experienced a good romantic relationship with a man but that's all about to change when he starts working at a nightclub in Texas.

13) The Mess We Created | Explicit | 21099 words

An innocent one night stand changed into something more than that.

14) Help Me, Help You Find Love | Explicit | 23781 words

“I help people hook up, not fall in love Styles”

“Think you can make an exception for me, Tomlinson?”

The one where they all attend a university for supernaturals and Werewolf Frat president and resident heartthrob Harry approaches on campus matchmaker Louis to help him find love.

15) Until The Pearls Get Lost | Explicit | 25519 words

London, 1933. Harry Styles, alpha, elusive bachelor and happy third wheel to his coupled friends, receives a visit from one Liam Payne, begging for his help.

Liam’s childhood friend Louis is about to become the talk of the city; left at the altar because the mating bond was rejected, Louis will spend the rest of his life in an institution unless Liam can find someone to take him in and care for him as he recovers. Most omegas with failed bonds are never the same again.

With rumours swirling around about the reason for the rejected bond, Harry gives in to Liam’s pleas. He hasn’t the slightest idea how that decision will shape the rest of his life.

16) Fetish For My Love | Explicit | 27388 words

Louis has too many worries to even think about a moment of peace in the days that now exhaust him and become a complete rush for him. Fortunately, Harry doesn't take long to take care of the matter as he knows that he has wanted it so much, finding the solution in a particular sheet full of colored stickers.

17) And When It Rains, You're Shining Down For Me | Explicit | 37081 words

“This is Harry, he’ll be your patient,” Liam gestured politely.

Harry froze when Louis’ eyes met his own once more. He felt himself getting lost in those eyes, so much so that he didn’t notice Niall and Liam leaving the room quietly but the sound of the door shutting behind them brought him out of the trance.

“Hello, I’m Louis,” the omega said, extending his hand for Harry to shake. The alpha could still sense some nervousness in his stance but decided to ignore it.

“‘’m Harry.”

Or the one where Harry is a grumpy boxer who gets injured and Louis is the lovely physiotherapist hired to help him, but getting pregnant wasn’t exactly in his recovery plan.

18) Hold Me How the Deep Night Has | Explicit | 48018 words

Louis Tomlinson needs a change. Stuck in a cycle of going to the job he hates, spending time with his friends, and avoiding the one man he hates most in this world, Louis' in desperate need of something new. So when he discovers an abandoned notebook on the way to work, the decision is easy to take it for himself and begin a journal amidst the empty pages. What can't be expected are the words that appear overnight directly beside his own, written on the same day 400 years in the past. What are the consequences of a magical connection between two men of different centuries? And who, among it all, is the mysterious E who only exists on the other side of Louis' journal?

19) Letters | Explicit | 58346 words

Louis lost his Alpha and mate in a deadly accident a year ago. Since then he has been writing letters to better deal with the grief and loss. But suddenly he gets answers from Harry Styles, an Alpha who himself is looking for meaning in life besides his career.

20) Oh, To Be Vulnerable | Mature | 63429 words

Disgruntled nurse Harry is, what some would call, a bit of a loner. Aside from work, he spends most of his time alone, either taking trips to the Boston library or going for walks around Quincy Market, or wallowing in his own sadness. He doesn’t seem to mind too much though. He takes his job seriously, and he likes it enough that he shows up every day, so what could be worth threatening his peace that he has worked so hard to create?

Louis, an overly-chipper and easily excitable orthodontics resident, can’t help but instantly fall for the boy in the photo that Niall shows him. With his education soon coming to a close, he is ready to get back into the dating game, and what a wonderful sight to begin with. The relationship between Harry and Louis has all the highs and lows that typical relationships do, but will Harry learn to trust Louis enough to let him in? And will Louis be able to manage his life turning every which way while also figuring out Harry?

21) LOUIS. | Explicit | 72202 words

“Oh, by the way Harry Styles, my name is Louis, Louis Tomlinson!” And with one last bright smile towards Harry, Louis was gone and out of his sight.

You’re who I've been searching for my whole life.

It's You.

22) You're Umami Baby | Mature | 87427 words

Umami: The essence of deliciousness.

Harry is a chef who never experienced umami until he meets his new dishwasher, Louis.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

#bottom louis #top harry #larry #larry fic recs #monthly fic recs #blp

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rayassecretlife · 1 year

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Teach me.

Pairing: Aged up!19 year old Neteyam Sully x Fem!Omaticaya!Reader

Summary: After seeing all your friends with their mates, you start to realize you don’t know how to do some of the things they do and get pretty nervous to ask about it. But don’t worry, you have a best friend who’ll teach you.

Warnings: Mature language, Kissing, Choking, moaning, semi public, idiots in love, etc. (not proof read!!! Sorry for mistakes!)

PART 2

Forget.

They all forget you as soon as their around. They all leave once they have someone. It all happened so fast; your once childhood best friends, left you alone, not a care in the world they were almost all you had. One minute you were laughing with your best friends, and the next you were sitting alone while they ran off to their boyfriends. You didn’t understand, what did they have that you didn’t? Were you not enough? Eywa, you were so jealous of them. You wanted a mate—you wanted someone to look at you like that.

Like you’d been someone’s world.

Sometimes you wondered if you’d ever talk to your friends again, or at least when you’d talk to them. It hurt that they left you that easily, because you knew you’d never do that to them. It was so easy for them, alluring guys like it was nothing. You were so awkward, you didn’t even want to look a man in the eye. Especially the boy you had liked for so long.

While your friends found their mates, they were almost positive yours had been right in front of you. The boy you’d stay up all night thinking about, the boy you’d go to war for, the boy you grew up with.

Neteyam Sully.

He was the sweetest boy you’d ever met. He treated you with respect and sometimes even worship to your amazing skills he didn’t have. Neteyam never left you alone, even if you tried to hide from him, he’d always find you. He checked on you daily, and it was clear to the other men in the clan to never touch you the wrong way. Your crush had started only about a month after you had turned 16, being as your emotions and hormones were done developing. You caught yourself staring at him daily, fantasizing about what it would feel like to have his lips on yours. It felt so weird—you felt so weird thinking of him that way.

But you couldn’t stop it.

Now, you were sat in front of your favorite pond upon the forest. The pond where you and Neteyam met just years ago. Your toes sunk into the shallow water while you hummed, trying your best to calm yourself down from the breakdown you’d just had. It sucked because you knew you had to grow up. You had to find your mate sooner or later.

“What’s wrong with you?” The voice almost instantly made you come back to reality, snapping your head in the direction it came from. Of course it’s him you couldn’t help but think, sighing as the tall figure came to sit next to you. He had his bow in his hand, urging it to you but you shook your head. Usually, you’d be up for some practice, but definitely not today. “Something is definitely wrong. You never turn down practice”

You hated that he knew you so well, like his eyes could read you like an open book. “It’s nothing, Neteyam” His eyebrows furrow at his name leaving your mouth, you weren’t even looking at him.

“Since when do you call me that?” You didn’t answer, hoping he’d just let it go but obviously he wouldn’t. It was Neteyam, he wasn’t going to let you off that easy. “Did someone hurt you?”

“No. Why do you always jump to that conclusion?” He fell silent at your words, unsure of what to do next. He’d usually be all you needed to feel better, but today was so much different. His shoulder nudged yours and you looked at the boy, except he didn’t say anything.

He just sat there with a small smile plastered to his face, like he was wanted you to return it. Even upset you still did, a laugh leaving your lips as you shook your head. “Talk to me, Syulang” that nickname, the nickname he’d given you when you were younger. It meant flower, and only he was able to call you that.

You hesitated, cheeks burning with embarrassment. You wanted to tell him, but did you really? Maybe it was better to get this off your chest. It was a horrible idea. Neteyam was your best friend, but he was also the boy you had a crush on since you were little, and you were terrified to open up to him.

“I’m just… it feels—I don’t know, Nete” You struggle to find the words, his eyes still on you the entire time you thought. “My friends all jumped into their relationships like it was nothing—what if I can’t do that? I don’t know how to do anything”

“Don’t know how to do what?” You urge him, nodding your head and moving your hands in different directions to try and explain but it only confused him more. “Would you just tell me?” You rolled your eyes.

“Like…you know” His eyebrows furrowed and you sighed, accepting your defeat. “I don’t know how to kiss, or anything like that” you looked away from him, afraid he’d laugh at you. In a perfect world, you’d wish you didn’t have to tell him, but you knew he wouldn’t let this go—much less let you cry about it. “It’s embarrassing”

“It’s not embarrassing, Y/N” Your eyes didn’t dare to meet his, even when his hand rested on your shoulder. It was embarrassing, whether he thought so or not. You felt so weird telling him these things, telling him how you were useless when it came to this. “Do you…want me to teach you?” That’s when your head turned to look at him, noticing his nervous tone in voice but his eyes were sincere. He didn’t like seeing you upset, and he’d do whatever he could to make you happy.

“Like…kiss me?” You trail and he nods his head, your stomach falling into a pit at his words. “Y-you’d kiss me?” He chuckles at your soft voice, your nervousness becoming very visible now. She’s so cute when she’s nervous the boys mind ran thought after thought while you stared at him, hoping he wasn’t joking.

“Your my best friend… I just want to help you” Your heart jumped, eyes slightly lighting up at his proposal. He wants to kiss me! You couldn’t help but smile small, head dropping for a second to hide it. His hand cupped your face gently, bringing it back up to look at him. “Looks like we’ll be practicing after all, huh?”

“This’ll probably suck…” You try to stall but he was already leaning down, his lips brushing against your own waiting for you to take the final step. You were so nervous, but man, you wanted to kiss him so badly. With the largest amount of courage in you, you leaned up a little further, lips attaching to his.

This must’ve been a dream. Not only was this your first kiss, but you were kissing him. You were kissing Neteyam Sully. It felt surreal, your best friend of so many years—he wanted to kiss you, he wanted to help you. You sat there for what felt like forever, thoughts running wild at the feeling of his soft lips against yours. His hand was gentle against your face, pulling you slightly back and your lips felt empty without his, a sigh leaving your chest.

“Was it bad…” you ask with hesitation, his eyes not being easy to read. You were afraid you’d embarrassed yourself, afraid he’d judge you. You should have known he would never do that.

“That was your first kiss?” You nod, your eyes still searching his for his opinion. “Could’ve fooled me” You watched him closely while he laughed, how his face changed and his sweet demeanor was now very noticeable. You felt at the ease—you knew in that moment he’d never judge you. “You did so good, just one thing” you raise your eyebrows but before you could say anything, his face was leaning down closer to your own, probably until his breath tickled your ear. “Your eager, slow down a little” Usually that would have made you sad, but you couldn’t ignore the tingling feeling between your legs every time he spoke.

“Sorry…” you feel his finger tips glide against your bare thigh, his free hand cupping your face gently. You couldn’t wait, you wanted to kiss him now. You didn’t have time to talk before you leaned into him, catching his lips in your own earning a small noise from him. Your ears perked at the sweet sound, hand now laid against his thigh for balance. “Your…” You try to choke out between breaths and kisses but it was almost impossible, breathing out your own air and then breathing his in.

“I’m what, Syulang?” He asks in a teasing tone, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. You didn’t bother to pull away from him, only moving your faces a few inches apart so your lips still dared to brush against one another’s.

“Your so good at this…” your forehead fell against his and your eyes shut, fingers finding his own. He had never heard so much love in your voice, seen so much love in your eyes, he was so in love with you. How could you be so blind? You should have known by the way he kissed you. His lips were soft and delicate against yours, making sure he wasn’t pushing you too far. His scent was filling your nose fast and you knew you couldn’t stay here much longer. You would go absolutely feral over your best friend. “One more time?”

A smirk pulls at his lips while his hand cups your face once again, leaning into the beautiful girl in front of him with ease. She let her hands roam to his hair, lips beginning to move against his. His heart was pounding hard. He needed you to see him, he needed you to be his.

The small sound that slipped from your mouth had made his ears perk high, lips starting to move against your own harder then before. What was life? You never thought you’d be sitting here, practically making out with your best friend. That same undeniably attractive scent clouded your nose once again and you could feel the tips of your ears brim with heat, fighting against your own body to not pull his closer.

“Neteyam” you pull away before it can get too heated and you notice his expression matched yours. His eyes were beaming with desire just as your own, and the tendrils inside your queue were going crazy just thinking of him. You had to leave. You had to leave before you did something really bad. “I-I… I have to go” You rushed to your feet but he grabbed your arm, eyes narrowing to search yours. Did he scare you away? Was he not good? Why were you running?

“Did I do something?” He asks, slightly nervous you might say yes. You shake your head and pick up the gear you had dropped on the grass, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. “Y/N-“

“Thanks for helping me… I’ll see you around” You left before he could say anything else, the heat in your body burning as you walked farther and farther. Neteyam still sat in the grass, loss for words as his lips tingled from the sudden loss of contact.

He couldn’t help but sit and question himself, reasons on top of reasons that might’ve been the reason you left so fast, but none of them felt right. The force between you, the love in your eyes… he felt it too.

but why did you run?

By far my shortest imagine, but this was just a cute little angst I thought of. PART 2

#avatar fanfiction #avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar x you #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam sully x y/n #neteyam x reader #avatar james cameron #neteyam angst #neteyam fluff #atwow neteyam #avatar reader

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thescrumblingmidwife · 7 months

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I'm 19 but I already decided some years ago that I never want to get pregnant, and I'm on birth control but I know that's not a garunteed protection. Am I too young to have my uterus removed? I don't really have any need for it

Hi Anon,

Good for you for being proactive with your reproductive goals!

The good news is that there are a number of birth control options (hormonal and nonhormonal) that offer protection as good or better than tubal ligation (getting tubes tied), and some last as long as 10 years at a time.

The bad news is that you are unlikely to find a provider willing to perform an elective hysterectomy on anyone under the age of 35 without medical reasoning. There are several justifications for this; some are reasonable, and some are stupid (NOTE: in my opinion).

Let's talk about these two things separately. (2 posts!).

HYSTERECTOMY

Removal of the uterus, while a very common surgical procedure, is still a surgical procedure that has significant costs, risks and potential life-long side effects (and I'm NOT talking about fertility). Risks include everything from acute problems (hemorrhage, perforation, etc.), to longer-term health problems (increased risk of stroke, loss of bone density, urinary problems, heart attack, etc.) and sexual functioning issues (vaginal atrophy and dryness). It's not just like snapping out a Lego piece.

So when it comes to the prevention of childbearing, with no other medical reason given, many doctors will be unwilling to take these risks when there are safer alternatives. Medical reasons can include persistent heavy menstrual bleeding, fibroids or other uterine growths, gender-affirming surgery, endometriosis, etc. Even for these conditions, a hysterectomy is usually the treatment of last resort, and those seeking one may still struggle to get one.

Now . . . here's where the (in my opinion) stupid part comes in. We live in a country where an 18-year-old can choose to get elective cosmetic surgery like breast implants. I think there is a marked inconsistency in logic when we say that that young adult can make an informed decision about that surgery, but not in this situation. I do think it's a holdover from patriarchal handwringing about the ability of people with uteruses to make decisions about those uteruses. And yes, some doctors are overly concerned with preserving people's fertility even when the patient is adamant they don't care about preserving it. I don't know what the "right" age is to let young adults make these decisions for themselves, but I do think it should be consistent at least!

---

So Anon - The TLDR is: I think you should be able to make this informed decision with the consultation of a gynecologist who gives you all the information you need, and who will take the time to verify that you do understand what you are consenting to, short- and long-term. But, you are also going to have a hard time finding that at this point in your life.

I hope you can get what you need (security from pregnancy) by using one of the long-acting reversible contraceptives I will mention in my other post.

#reproductive health #reproductive autonomy #reproductive rights #hysterectomy #contraception #birth control #reproductive freedom

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soohaaaleemeee · 16 days

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Love Just Happens

A New Chapter - Part 19

Characters: The future's Bill Skarsgård and others close to him. The rest is my own characters.

Setting: This story is set in the future but because it's hard to say how the world is then (and it isn't that important for the story) the future is similar to our time now, even with fashion and so on.

Warnings: 18+, age difference, smut, ageism, pregnancy, jealousy, cheating.

He would never cheat. She knew that. Every day was proof of that. She felt his love in every gaze and in every caress. They had romance and passion. They had closeness in mind, even if they were so different from each other. There were things they had believed they would miss in a partner, but that wasn't important anymore. Bill didn't need someone who understood his job and she didn't feel a need for someone who was what people expected her to be with. It wasn't important stuff at all. Bill said to himself that he couldn't understand now how he had believed that or what he had seen in his earlier partners that was so different from her. She knew at their first meeting that he was everything she had wanted. Everything she had believed she would never get.

She looked at him sleeping. He was pink in the cheeks, and his short hair was messy. It was obvious he was older than when they met, and he gave off a more manly vibe than ever, especially when she looked at his thick arms and broad chest.

He looked good. He looked like all those words young girls call handsome men over forty or men with kids. She was young when they met. Twenty-three. Maybe even a bit too young for a forty-year-old man to take seriously, but he had. He had never treated her like anything else but a woman. An equal.

He treated all women well and showed softness and humbleness naturally. It wasn't weird that other women were attracted to him. It wasn't weird other young women looked at him with big eyes.

Sheilo Medley. Aurora Lou could feel that she wanted him. The two of them have met her a couple of times together now. Sheilo was always nice, even sweet. She said hello to Isadora Li and said she was cute, but as soon as she thought Aurora looked away, she looked at Bill in a way not suitable between friends. Aurora looked at her husband joking around with his co-actress, how he talked in confidence to her and let her wrap her arms around his waist as a hello and goodbye.

Could he cheat? No, he would never. Bill crawled closer to her in his sleep and dragged her close to his chest, like she was a comforting teddy bear.

All her other boyfriends had cheated. They were never pleased with just her. Why would Bill be that? He could have an even younger woman now. Someone whose body wasn't affected by pregnancy or childbirth. Someone with big tits and worked with the same thing as him. A girl taller than her that also seemed tougher than her.

“I’ve met someone else,” he would say while they sat at home in Sweden by their kitchen. He had asked her to sit down, and she had sat down with some struggle because of her big pregnancy belly.

“Sheilo?” She would ask and look away with glassy eyes. He wouldn't say anything; he just lowered his eyes, but that would be enough of an answer. She would have nodded but let the tears stream down her cheeks freely.

“So it happened when I was there? In Scotland?” She would ask, and Bill would still not answer. “Can’t you even answer me? Am I not even worthy of that?”

He would drag his hands over his face.

“I'm so sorry, Lou... I'm so sorry.”

She would cry, but silently because she had already known, and drag her hands over her big belly.

“But I will still be here... I will still be here for you and our babies.”

Aurora cried against his naked chest. He was still sleeping. It was the pregnancy hormones playing games with her again, but just like when she was pregnant with Isadora, she forgot that and took her emotions as completely true.

She kissed Bill's lips and twisted herself out of his grip. He would cheat. He would leave her like all the other guys had. She stood up, and in silence, she started to pack. She didn't want to leave him like that, but she couldn't look at him, especially not when he moved and the sheet uncovered his nakedness. They had slept with each other the night before. He had made her come twice and acted like they made love, but now she wondered if he was thinking about Sheilo.

She carried the suitcase to the door, then she walked to the room Isis was sleeping in. She didn't want to take his daughter from him like that, because she would have panicked if he had done the same thing to her, but she couldn't leave her baby. She just couldn't.

Bill woke up when he heard Isis whine and let out a grumpy cry. It didn't sound like her normal morning sounds, so he opened his eyes and listened more carefully. Aurora wasn't next to him, so he stretched out in bed and closed his eyes again, believing she was just taking care of their dissatisfied daughter.

“Shh shh shh… We must go, baby. You can sleep again soon,” Bill heard his wife say to their daughter with a low voice. He opened his eyes in confusion and sat up when he heard shuffling in the hallway. He covered himself with the sheet and walked out with it around his hips. Aurora stood in an emerald green velvet set and laid Isis down in the stroller; behind her stood her pink, shiny suitcase.

“What are you doing?” asked Bill, confused, and fixed the sheet around his hips. Aurora looked up at him reluctantly. Her eyes were red, and her cheeks were wet. Bill looked at her, confused. He was used to her crying because of things with a variety of seriousness, especially while pregnant, so he just looked at her in confusion.

“I just...” she said, looking at Bill with furrowed brows while Isis cried in the stroller. She couldn't really say what she was doing now when he stood in front of her. It wasn't like he had cheated. He hadn't done anything wrong at all, and now she couldn't find an answer to what she was doing, so instead, she started to cry almost as loudly as Isis.

“Okay, okay,” said Bill, knowing at once that this was the hormones again. Her big emotions really became crazy from the hormones. He walked up to Aurora and the stroller and took his wife under one arm because of the sheet around his hips, but realized he wouldn't be able to comfort both his girls with just one arm, so he had no choice but to let it slip down on the floor. Aurora looked at his nakedness while he took up Isis from the stroller and then laid the other arm around his wife. Aurora couldn't stop herself from laughing through the tears.

“I had no other choice, okay?” He said, with a smirk. Aurora smiled, amused, while all three of them crawled down under her covers. Both the girls had calmed down by being close to Bill, and Aurora sat with her nose pressed against Bill's chest, breathing him in, while Isis lay with her cheek against his other pec. She didn't know what she would have done without him, and luckily, there was never anything she really needed to worry about.

“You know it's the hormones, right?” Bill said it softly and kissed her head. Aurora nodded, even if she had forgotten about it. "So, what was it this time?”

Aurora breathed out deeply.

“I… I had a feeling you would cheat with that Sheilo girl.”

Bill smiled, a little amused but lovingly.

“Mhm, what was it that made you have that feeling?”

Aurora didn't say anything, instead, she wiped away some drool on Isis's chin, who had started to fall asleep against her father's chest.

Bill didn't say anything either, he just kissed her forehead and leaned back against the headboard. He knew Aurora's hormones were responsible for this, and he had nothing to worry about. Their relationship was still just as strong.

“I love you, my one and only,” he said with a smile. Aurora looked up at him and then kissed his lips.

“I love you more than everything,” she whispered, and then gave their sleeping daughter a kiss too.

×××

Two days later, Erica visited again and offered to take Isadora so Aurora and Bill could have a night out. His work day wasn't that long that day, so they would have the whole night. Aurora thought she could meet him on set, but that day Bill asked her not to come. Oh. She knew what that meant; intimate scenes. Today was the day he would make out with Sheilo.

Aurora knew it wasn't a romantic setting, she knew Bill didn't feel pleasure in doing such scenes, but Aurora didn't know if Sheilo felt the same. Maybe she would do everything to impress him and to make it something it wasn't. Aurora trusted Bill, but maybe she wanted to torment herself because she decided to visit the set anyway. She just wanted to see if the girl would try anything or if she might have enough respect to not try to make him hard while his wife was watching.

She was let in without any fuss; it didn't matter who her husband was; she would have been let in anyway. She was Aurora Lou.

Bill sat in a white robe over his outfit for the scene, a pair of burgundy boxers that sat tight and that enhanced his bulge more than hid it. He sat and looked at his phone while a stylist put some bronzer on his forehead.

“Aurora, hey!” The stylist said that and made Bill look up. His wife gave both him and the stylist a small smile. She was dressed in black pants that sat low on her hips and a black tube top, showing her belly. It was still flat and gave nothing of the pregnancy away. Bill looked at her and furrowed his brows. He had said she shouldn't come.

“Hey babe?” He said, flashing a crooked smile. Aurora smiled sweetly and put her dark, long hair behind her ears. It was obvious she was ashamed to be there. She leaned up to give him a kiss. Even if Bill was a little annoyed, he took a few seconds to admire her outfit and her face. It was a sexy outfit, and he could imagine other men on set looking at her.

"So, what are you doing here?” He said. Aurora had lowered her eyes. She had done it out of shame, but then she saw his outfit. The robe had opened a bit, and she could see his naked chest and the boxers. She really didn't want to be that sort of wife, but the hormones jumped around, and she couldn't stop herself from sucking her lips and making a disapproving sound. Bill could see what the problem was and sighed. In that moment, he was reminded of why he had thought it was more simple to be together with an actress. Aurora couldn't understand how different filming a sex scene was from reality.

“Isn't it better if you go home instead?” He said it with a low voice, so no one would hear. Aurora looked up at him, her eyes swimming with emotions. He gave her a serious look. Aurora lowered her eyes again. She wanted to beg him to not do this. To not make out with a girl she didn't like, who obviously liked him too much.

“Bill!” A director's assistant called for him, and the two of them looked at the woman. Bill sighed because he realized he didn't have time to make Aurora leave the set. She would be there while they were filming. He gave her a quick look before standing up. He gave her a soft kiss and then an unsure smile. Both of them had noticed Sheilo lying down on the mattress in the shed, or the walls looking like a shed, to be able to film them. She was dressed in a lacy dark blue bra and black thongs. Her breasts were big and full, and her skin was pale and soft. Aurora looked at Bill, pulling off the robe and sitting down on the mattress. Sheilo said something that made him smile. He said something that made her laugh. They hadn't started filming yet, but already Aurora was so jealous that it felt like she would throw up.

Bill laid down on the mattress, still talking to Sheilo but also the director. Aurora swallowed the sour taste in her mouth while looking at Sheilo, looking at his abs, his bulge, and his long legs. Aurora looked down at her wedding rings. She had accepted his weird profession, but now it didn’t feel good anymore. She twisted the rings around her fingers while swallowing the bile coming up in her throat. She had put her career on hold for their child; couldn't he stop doing these sorts of roles for her?

She looked up when she heard Sheilo laugh. They had started filming now, and Aurora could see the girl laying on top of her husband. They shared deep kisses before the director said cut. Bill moved away at once from the girl, but it didn't matter; Aurora had seen enough. She succeeded in keeping her tears in check, but it didn't matter. It felt like everyone could see her emotions and how she then ran away. It wasn't that bad; it was just the stylist and a few of the set designers that saw it. Bill didn't notice how she disappeared, and soon he had Sheilo on top of him again. It was a job. The kisses were dry and emotionless, and he didn't even think Sheilo was that attractive. Especially not compared to his wife. Sheilo was pale in comparison, flat, and uncharismatic. He just wanted the job day to be over so he could take his wife out. Her kisses were the only kisses he enjoyed.

×××

Erica watched her friend cry and cry and cry. Everyone who knew Aurora had seen her cry many times. She had been through a lot, and heavy tears had been spilled because of death, abuse, and cheating, but she also spilled tears over much smaller things. For a short second, Erica wondered why Aurora still hadn't started to wear waterproof mascara, but she waved that thought away. She sat on the floor with her friend’s 10-month-old daughter, who looked at her mother with worry.

“They like… They kissed and, like... He just kissed her like that. In front of... She wants him.” Aurora cried while wiping her black-striped cheeks with her hands, so her fingers became just as black. Erica looked at her in confusion.

“You mean Bill kissed someone else? In front of you?”

“Yes!” Aurora cried and whined something else Erica couldn't interpret. She couldn't believe Bill would do such a thing and understood there was something Aurora missed saying.

“You mean in a scene? When he was filming?”

“Yes! But with her!”

“Her?”

“Yes!” Aurora said she was annoyed and started to cry hysterically again. Erica looked down at Isis, who looked just as confused. If it were another guy, she would have taken her friend’s side at once, but this situation was something else. Aurora was a drama queen, a hormonal, pregnant drama queen, while Bill was so trustworthy and irritatingly in love with that said drama queen, even if Erica in that moment couldn't understand how such a down-to-earth guy had energy for her friend.

“So he kissed her in a scene? I'm sorry, Aurora, but he's an actor.”

Aurora made a frustrated sound and laid down with her face in a pillow.

“You don't get it!”

Erica didn't understand, but Bill, who stood in the hallway, did. He had sneaked in but had frozen in the hallway and listened to his wife. There was something with Sheilo that rubbed her the wrong way, and that she was the first girl in a long time he had intimate scenes with, didn't make it better. On top of that, she was hormonal in a way she had never been before. He understood this, but this was a bit much for him too. He was an actor; she knew that, just like Erica said, but it was obvious she had problems with that, but it wasn't until now that they had come to the surface.

Aurora obviously needed some help with her galloping hormones, but the jealousy would still be there. Maybe he shouldn't say anything because he had also been jealous many times, but he saw it as two different things. His jealousy was about protectiveness, but he felt her jealousy was her not trusting him. Not believing he could handle his job and not being a trustworthy husband.

After some deep breaths, he walked into the living room. Erica gave him a relieved look and showed an expression that she had started to give up. Aurora looked up at Bill and, with a fast movement, she stood up and marched by him dramatically. Bill knew her so well that he knew that meant she wanted a fight; she wanted him to run after her, so he did. It was better to just follow her rules when she was mad. It saved time.

Erica lifted up Isis and walked to the stroller, and Bill gave her a thankful look before she left with Isis, and he went into Aurora in the bedroom. Once again, she was packing. She probably noticed it the last time it was a good way of getting his attention. Bill sat down on the bed with a sigh and looked at her, packing her sexiest thongs in the corner of the suitcase closest to him. He wanted to smile but didn't, but it was so obvious to him that she did that to not lose his attention.

“Why are you sad?” He said it softly while he took a pair of delicate panties and played with them between his fingers. She let him play with them, so obviously it was what she wanted him to do.

“I'm not sad! I'm mad!” She said she was upset and pushed down the hair heating tool in the bag. Bill nodded a little.

“Why?”

Aurora looked at him, annoyed, but was quiet. She didn't exactly know why she was mad, but she was mad.

“It's my job. There weren't any problems when I kissed Lydia last year.”

“That's different!”

“Why?” He said, confused.

Aurora once again made a frustrating sound and looked at him, continuing to play with her panties with long fingers and licking his lips.

“Sheilo is hot!” She said that and crossed her arms.

Bill looked at her with furrowed brows and a little smile.

“And Lydia isn't?”

“Do you think that?”

“No, but I don't know if I think Sheilo is that attractive either,” Bill sighed. “Does that really matter? I thought you trusted me. I've said so many times that you're the only woman for me. Every woman pales in comparison to you.”

Aurora looked at him with big, glassy eyes.

“It's okay to be jealous, but you must trust me. I would never cheat because kissing other girls is a job for me, and it feels like a job. When I kiss you, it's... everything that is good,” he said with big, sincere eyes.

Aurora felt the tears start to run down her cheeks again. She felt awful for doubting him. Bill sighed a little with a smile.

“And babe, this is very much the hormones,” he said carefully. Aurora furrowed her brows in embarrassment. She didn't like to confess that she had done something out of nothing because her hormones went wild. She could do the same thing when she had PMS, but with smaller things, and thought it was just as embarrassing to confess that her day wasn't ruined because she hadn't succeeded in painting her lips just right.

“It is hormones because while we've had this conversation, you have not just presented your cutest panties for me but also looked at my arms and lips every other second.”

Aurora looked annoyed, crossed her arms, and pouted a little. She wanted him to comfort her and come close, not give her this, even if he was right. She has had filthy thoughts while trying to stay inside the anger.

Bill sighed, stood up, stretched out all of his 6’4 height, and looked at her tiredly. He didn't want to fight and also knew it would take, like, a minute before she had her nose pressed against his chest and her hands dragging over his muscular back.

He was right. 52 seconds later, she was pressed against him and begged for his forgiveness. Bill just smiled and kissed her. He had said what he wanted, and he knew she would remember it. She was a drama queen, but she never held on to a grudge just because. She just wanted everything to be good between them, always.

27 seconds of kisses later, Aurora started to pull down his black jogger pants.

“We really must visit a doctor to get those hormones in check,” said Bill, a bit amused with furrowed brows, but let her pull them down along with his dark gray boxers.

×××

It had been an hour since Erica left the apartment with Isis, and she guessed Bill had succeeded in calming Aurora down in that time. Or he was forced to have succeeded in doing that because she didn't have the energy to walk around and, at the same time, keep Isis awake so she wouldn't be up all night. Isis was also not as easy to please as her own son, and she didn't look amused at all by her. She needed to be with her parents, who knew her ways.

Erica walked into the apartment while singing for Isis that whined on her hip and hoped her parents would meet them by the door but it didn't happen. Erica was annoyed now and thought about just berating Aurora for her silly behavior and giving her, her whiny daughter. She stamped into the apartment with annoyance rising in every step.

“Ah fuck! I should have known this was what would meet me!” Said she outside of the bedroom, annoyed and covered Isis face when she saw Bill's trim hips and plump ass cheeks between Aurora's tanned legs. It was like seeing a great Dane smash a king Charles spaniel.

Bill stood up on his knees and gave Erica an annoyed look. She was the only one he knew would just stand there by seeing such a scene.

“Hey! Can we just get some time to dress?” He said and gave Aurora a look who hid her face with her hands in embarrassment.

“Stop sounding like I'm the one doing something wrong. You can sound so ungrateful sometimes, Bill!” Said Erica and walked away with their daughter who continued to whine.

Bill looked down at Aurora again with big eyes in disbelief, she giggled now and stretched her arms over her head so he felt forced to just play with her nipples a last time.

“Your friend is insane.”

“I know. She's so annoying,” she joked, knowing it was probably herself that was the annoying one.

“Yeah!” Bill said like it was obvious and stood up and pulled on his boxers. Aurora sat up but moved sensually and laid down on her knees, like a cat stretching. Bill stood with his hands on his hips and gave her an annoyed but aroused look.

“Stop doing that, you hormonal… cock teaser.”

Aurora giggled and stood up on her knees. Bill threw her silky robe to her and gave her the panties he had played with in his hands earlier.

He had pulled on the joggers again then they walked out to Erica who sat with Isis by the table, eating a banana each. She gave them a killer look while Isis smiled and waved with the banana piece in her hand.

“We're sorry… It just happened…” said Aurora and looked at her friend pleadingly but with playfulness in her eyes. Erica looked at the both of them. Bill took a sip of Isis water from her baby bottle then gave it to the girl again.

“Yeah, yeah. But I hope you get that this night went from being yours to being mine. God, your daughter seems to believe she's the queen of Sweden!”

Bill smirked amused. Everyone said their daughter was high maintenance but those who knew her had a much easier time understanding her. He guessed it was a bit the same with her mother, but in another way.

“I think you two can take a night out and I’ll stay with the queen, okay? But don't get in a fight and don't let her fall asleep somewhere,” Bill said, the last thing towards Erica. The girls smiled happily and he got a kiss from Aurora on the cheek.

“That was nice of you, Billy Boy,” said Erica who stood up. He gave her a crooked smile but jumped when she spanked his ass.

“And I must say, you have a great ass.”

Isis laughed at her father's bug eyed expression and Aurora did the same and gave Bill a pointed look. His ass was way too cute.

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