#it would be like my other random ass little stories that are only one part
i wanted to do another relationship analysis sort of story like i did with asmo, but this time with belphie! i have plans to do one for barb and simeon too!
trigger warnings for: a bit of robotic gore, a tiny bit violence
Belphegor had only prepared for one unwittingly stupid human exchange student, yet here stood two. Obviously whoever stood near MC wasn’t Solomon, he’d be too smart to trust the demon. But it ticked him off exponentially to know that there were three bloody humans in the Devildom, made his blood boil and that urge to cause havoc to twist unpleasantly in his stomach, making it hard to play nice.
“I thought we had promised to keep this secret. Are you still upset that I lied to you, MC?”
“No, it’s not that!” MC shook their head, he could only see them, the other human was smart enough to hide their appearance. “I thought it’d be smart to try and get Rune in on this as well, to help warm your brothers up. They’re very friendly!”
“You make me sound like a pet dog.” The voice was soft, teasing in a way his brothers once had been.
“So who is this Rune, exactly?” He pressed his face up against the gate, trying to get any form of a glance.
“He’s my brother! He ended up coming with me as well, accidentally. Don’t you want to introduce yourself?”
He heard Rune hum, then the shifting sound of clothes let him know they were resting against a wall. “I’m Rune, MC’s adopted brother. They say you want to try and patch things up with Lucifer?”
“Yes, and in order to do so I need you to get pacts with my brothers. It doesn’t matter who, so long as they trust you enough to open the door.”
“Hmm.” Belphegor saw MC look over to where Rune was, exchanging a look. “Okay then, we’ll try things out. Though if you do anything stupid though and I’ll kick your teeth in.”
MC let out an exasperated gasp, “Rune! Be nice! You’re not like this to the other brothers!”
“Ah, I can be like this to Lucifer. You know like when he tried to kill you?”
“Wait, that was you who tried to deck him?”
“Yup. Now c’mon, MC. Sorry Belphegor but we have to leave, so your brothers aren’t suspicious.”
He heard the walk away as MC gave a wave before leaving him all to his lonesome once again. Usually he’d hate it, stew in his anger. But he was intrigued, what a peculiar little human Rune was.
And then the almost daily visits from Rune started. At first Belphegor wondered if the tough guy stick was all an act, for Rune sure seemed to not be bothered by him. They’d come up, talk quietly about whatever to him for a while before saying their goodbyes. Rune had become one of his first real interactions outside of using MC or cursing Lucifer, and he soon started to crave them.
“You’re late.” He huffed, pouting despite the fact that he couldn’t see them.
“I don’t have a set schedule to see you, you know.”
“You have a pattern, nimrod.”
“Ah, is that it? Guess I have to wait longer for my next visit then, so your brothers don’t catch on.”
The statement was joking, he knew it was. Rune wouldn’t do that, yet it still flooded his nerves with panic.
“Don’t. Don’t leave. They have MC, they won’t notice, they’ll be fine.”
If he could have, he would’ve reached through the gate to them, keeping them close. That realization sent an unpleasant, fiery stone into his gut. What was he, some stupid, lovestruck human? He couldn’t become what he hated, what he wanted dead. He shouldn’t be craving them, needing them like this.
The pause Rune gave him made that stone hurt worse. Was what he said wrong? Then Belphegor saw Rune’s hand, resting outside his door. He didn’t move to try to see more of him.
“Sorry, I won’t joke like that again, okay?”
Belphegor swallowed thickly, “Whatever.”
Belphegor’s eyes didn’t leave Rune’s hand as he talked of random things, opening Belphegor up like some delicate package. He began to relax, that stupid human’s presence was soothing. Soon another feeling replaced the fiery stone, much more pleasant and comforting. Even when silence lulled around them, the warmth wrapped pleasantly around Belphegor. He wished there was a blanket like that, to keep close to him at all times. He missed that type of comfort.
“I want to show you lots of things once I get out.” He spoke softly.
“I’ll be waiting for that. I promise it’ll come soon.” Belphegor liked the tone of Rune’s voice, it felt like a warm cup of tea.
“You have to go soon.”
“I promise I’ll come back sooner.”
Belphegor snorted, “I don’t think that’s possible.”
“Maybe. But maybe we’ll see each other in our dreams.”
For another time Belphegor was glad Rune couldn’t see him, his face heating up. He had many dreams about his human companion, many desires that he couldn’t believe. Waking up from each dream about a date or holding their hands under starlight put that fiery stone back in his gut and twisted it up red and angry until he wished he had dreamed of anything else. But he also didn’t want to dream of something different, wanted Rune to stay and keep that warmth that made him feel safe. How could a weak, squishy human make him like this? He wanted to scream.
He didn’t hear them say goodbye, which was a good thing. He hated hearing them go, hated it because the cold of the attic settled back into his bones and made him want to cry.
Freedom. No more gate no more attic he was free, he could do what he wanted. What did he want now? Belphegor only felt anxiety, he couldn’t comprehend this freedom, panic instead ate away. That painfully hot and angry stone was back to twisting up his gut, screaming and making him feel all of his grief and the coldness of the attic wouldn’t leave him. He should be free, be rid of this. Why was it still here? Why did it all hurt so much?
Seeing MC painted his vision irrationally red and bloodlust filled up his mind. It’d be so easy to do something so stupid. Get Diavolo to let go of his stupid little idea of humans being good. So he invited them in for a hug, which they took. He was going to threaten them, form shifting and horns protruding.
But MC ran, smarter than he thought. It stunned him a bit, he thought they were too naive. That should’ve cooled him down but it only fueled his anger.
He found MC in the foyer, about to do the unspeakable when a fist collided with his face and white hot pain flooded his brain, not even registering the crack of bone.
Belphegor looked up to see what he could only describe as a brunet Satan, if his irises were to swallow up his eyes and glow a soft green. The markings on this guy’s joints were aglow in the same way, arms poised to defend.
“I told you I’d kick your teeth in if you tried something dumb,” his voice was familiar, the pain that ebbed it’s way into his tone twisted at Belphegor’s heart. Perhaps if he were in a better state of mind the hurt that came with it would matter.
“Oh, what do you think a pathetic human can do? I’m going to do what should have been done when you got here. The reasons for Lilith’s death, I’ll make you suffer the way she did!”
He lunged again, grabbing hold of Rune’s — this had to be Rune, who he longed for but was now going to tear apart — arm, twisting it so it would break. He wanted them to shatter like Lilith.
It did, not in the way he expected it to. The tearing sound was like that of a machine, wires popping loose as the appendage came off. Belphegor stood there, dumbfounded. Machine. How could Rune be a machine when an undeniably human soul rested in his chest?
And then another swift feeling of pain hit his face as he fell back on his ass, letting go of the arm at impact. He was coming out of that fever, that rage of grief slowly.
After the front doors opened everything was a blur. He understood MC was Lilith’s descendant, that his sister had been reborn and lived a human life. That Rune was some sort of android and was MC’s bodyguard in the form a protective sibling. That he was somehow getting off light, despite the attempt of murder and actually injuring Rune.
It bothered him, bothered him that worse wasn’t happening. Bothered him that Rune seemed so nonchalant about his arm.
So when Beel wanted to go catch up, Belphegor first asked to see if Rune was okay. He had to make sure they were. Couldn’t rest until he was sure. What was going to happen to their arm now? What did they feel towards him? They should hate him, it felt like a rational emotion for the circumstances.
He barely peaked his head in, listening intently to Rune’s explanations to Satan and Levi about how he was going about to repair his arm. A hiss, a click and then a small “done” parted from Rune and he was fixed, a new arm attached.
He was going to release a sigh of relief, Beel’s hand on his back comforting as Rune was okay, until Levi let out a sharp gasp. He had grabbed at his arm, yanking Rune towards him. The grip on Rune should have been painful, especially since Levi had grabbed him so roughly, but both seemed to have frozen in shock.
“Oh, I forgot I wouldn’t be feeling anything there. It’s been so long since I’ve had to repair a limb I’ve forgotten the time it takes to readjust all the feelings to it.”
Belphegor stiffened before turning and running, wanting to sleep away everything like he used to. Rune couldn’t feel his arm because of him, Rune had been hurt because of him. How could he even think that he’d even want to be near him? The cold of the attic crept back in despite him clearly being in his and Beel’s room now, and it ached.
Beel was there too, rubbing his back and cooing. Cooing? Oh, Belphegor had been crying. He had been crying for Rune.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“You like them, Belphie. You feel guilty about what you did, but now you’re afraid of hurting them.”
“Again. I’d hurt them again. After they came and visited me nearly every day. A-after—“
“After you had begun to like them.”
It was a simple way of putting his feelings, ones that he had tried to bury in his furry. But Beel understood him better than anyone else, and knew he couldn’t handle the full truth quite yet. Because Belphegor couldn’t bear the idea of hurting another person he loved.
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Wait wait arankita music au where Aran is a busker and Kita is the grandson of a famous orchestral conductor???
Do you... perhaps... maybe... have any more on that? Please?
Sure 👀 ill give ya a detailed synopsis, yeah?
So basically in this AU, Aran is a university student, studying composition and music and all that jazz. He lives with his mom and his FIVE younger sisters (Ndidi-17, Ifunanya-15, Binyelum-12, and the twins Chiasoka and Umukoko-6).
His dad, Junpei, was a Japanese composer who used to travel around the world in order to learn how different cultures use and make music.
He met Aran's mother, Adaoma, in Nigeria and they instantly fell in love. Even though they only knew each other for a few months, they spontaneously got married and Adaoma moved to Japan with him. They were super happy and immediately started having babies.
A few years before this story takes place, Junpei tragically passes away ☹ leaving Adaoma to take care of their six children alone. Naturally, they start to struggle financially, so Aran, the eldest already in his 20's, takes it upon himself to bring in as much money as he can to help out.
Hes already going to uni though and Adaoma refuses to let him drop out to get a full time job so the money he gets comes from odd jobs here and there and from busking on the street! His father raised him on music and so he knows a whole slew of instruments and hes very good 👀 when he busks, he picks whatever instrument hes feeling that day, whether it be a violin, guitar, drums, saxophone, trumpet, etc.
And hes been doing it long enough that he knows where people pay the most money for some quality music. AKA, the rich areas of the city.
One day when he's out playing his guitar, a little old lady in a fancy town car calls out to him from the road. First thought in his head? Oh no, she thinks I'm a hooker and wants to pay me for a good time, oh no, how much would I even charge for something like that oh no curse my handsome good looks, mama said they'd get me in trouble one day--
But turns out this little old lady isn't looking for a hooker. She wants a babysitter for her grandson. At first Aran is like ????? There he was, playing guitar on the street... and this lady just assumes he would be a great babysitter????? Random.
BUT, Aran is always looking for some extra cash, and the lady looks rich as hell, so he considers it. Even though he already has to deal with enough childcare back at home with his sisters.
The woman hands him her card, tells him to call her if he decides to accept the offer, and drives off. Aran looks at the card and oh, whats that???? The woman he was just talking to was KITA YUMIE? AKA THE OWNER OF THE KITA ORCHESTRA??? AKA ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS AND RENOWNED COMPOSERS OF ALL TIME??
Aran chases down the car yelling "ILL DO IT! ILL DOOOOO IIIIIIIT!!!!"
So anyway, Aran goes to start his first day babysitting for the great Kita Yumie at her massive mansion. Like seriously it might as well be a castle. Hes awed, intimidated. But he brought along some of his instruments because hey, maybe he and the kid could bond over some music, ya know? He's Kita Yumie's grandson, after all. You KNOW music has been a part of his life.
So Yumie is giving Aran a tour of the mansion and hes just absolutely fangirling over everything like OMG her awards and OMG her instrument collection and OMG she has her own recording studio OMG.
Then, Yumie introduces him to her grandson, AKA, the kid Aran was hired to babysit.
Only.... what the hell????
Kita Shinsuke is a grown ass adult.
Aran showed up there, expecting some cute little kid missing his front teeth, all scratched up from making mud pies in the garden and instead he's face to face with a stoic guy his age.
Wtf??? Why would Shinsuke need a babysitter? Especially one of the same age?
Yumie is like "ill leave you two to get to know each other!" And leaves them alone.
Aran doesn't really know what to say. This isn't what he was expecting. Luckily, Shinsuke is also fully aware of the ridiculousness of the situation.
"Shes worried ill become a recluse," he tells him. "She thinks she can hire me a friend."
Straight from the get-go, Shinsuke is kinda... standoffish. He tells Aran he doesnt need him, but if he needs the money, then Shinsuke will pretend that Yumie's attempt at forcing him to have friends is working so he can keep getting paid. Aran is a little insulted, but mostly baffled. Ndidi had told him there was def something weird about his new job and she had called it.
Still though, Yumie was paying good money, and he didn't mind spending time in that house, admiring all the amazing musical things in every room. So he decides, eh, ill go with it, I guess.
The first few days, he and Shinsuke don't talk much. Shinsuke pretty much just keeps to himself. He reads a lot. Hes quiet. Meanwhile, Aran is like, fawning over every instrument he can get his hands on. Yumie gave him permission to play with anything he wants so he's just like bouncing from the piano to the guitar to the cello... hes in heaven, fr
One thing he notices though, is that every time he starts playing any of the instruments, Shinsuke quietly leaves the room.
Huh. Curious. But whatever. Aran is getting paid to play with expensive instruments and that's all he cares about.
Until his mom gets to him. One night, he tells her how Shinsuke always leaves the room when he's playing and Adaoma is like "THAT WILL NOT DO." See, Adaoma has super strong feelings about the importance of music and movement and yada yada. She incorporates it into every aspect of her life! Their entire family does! It was the thing that connected her to Junpei and gave her Aran and the other kids. And the thought of someone, a young person no less, running away from music was just... enough to make her guilt Aran into FIXING THE INJUSTICE.
So from then on, Aran decides to stop just mooching off this free ride and actually attempt to get to know Shinsuke.
Problem is, Shinsuke isn't interested in blabbing his whole life story, so even though Aran tries to pry into what his problem is, he gives him nothing. Aran has to get his tea from Yumie instead. Both figuratively and literally. Aran and Yumie have tea every day and gossip so one day, Aran asks about Shinsuke's dislike of music.
"He doesnt dislike it," Yumie tells him. "Its just painful for him."
Painful??? How can music be painful???
Yumie tells him "if you want him to pay attention, just do something wrong. That'll get him."
So the next day, Aran sits at the piano in Shinsuke's sitting room and starts to play. Poorly. He puts out sheet music and plays it absolutely incorrectly, with all the confidence of doing it right.
Just as Yumie said, Shinsuke can't stand it and sits on the bench next to him to instruct him on how to do it properly. Its the first time hes shown some energy, even if its a little perturbed, and it gets Aran interested.
Now he really wants to know more about Shinsuke.
From then on, Aran tries harder to make conversation with Shinsuke. He learns a little more about him, they have some nice moments. Aran even convinces him to go to town with him. They go get coffee and they run into the Miya twins, who go to uni with Aran, they have a good time. One day, they even go to Aran's house to meet Adaoma and his sisters. Shinsuke gets to see a household that is LOUD and close and intimate and its so different from what he's used to. As soon as they walk in, Adaoma and Binyelum are singing as they cook and someone is playing guitar in a different room and every instrument lying about looks worn in and loved.
Its different. Shinsuke isn't used to that. His life is so structured, so scheduled, so clean and orderly. He wakes up and he does his routine. He studies and he visits with his grandma and he keeps things in place and dusted and pristine and quiet. He avoids things that make him unhappy and he just simmers in a place between apathy and satisfaction.
But now he has Aran in his life and he WANTS to learn from him, to see music as this freedom of expression and passion and not... what it is for him right now.
Because see, Shinsuke's parents ruined music for him. Yumie introduced it to him, started him on the path of composing and performing. But his parents took it too far. They were rigid. They were mean and strict and passionless. They forced him to play songs he hated over and over and over again until they were absolutely flawless. They refused to let him play anything but the classics. New age music was GARBAGE and Shinsuke wasn't allowed to sully his musical mind with it. Their method of teaching tarnished his love for it and so when his mother left his father and his father got in trouble with the law and was locked up, Shinsuke gave music up altogether.
Just brought back bad memories.
But now hes given a different perspective. He feels like maybe he wants to try again, make the music that is passionate and joyful like Aran's family makes.
So begins his journey into rekindling his love for music and falling in love with Aran along the way 👀
Aaaaand thats basically what the story is about!
I started a playlist for it but its a total WIP and I haven't listened to it for a while so I dunno how good it is lmao
Anyway, there ya go 🖤
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Please don't forget me
Read Prologue: here
(I would read the prologue it makes more sense that way!)
koh!tom x reader (x Harrison)
Summary: Harrison being your boyfriend is all you've ever known. Until the both of you arrive in hell trough a horribal accident. Of course it's a shock at first but Harrison is happy to see his old friend Tom back who now seems to rule hell, plus he has his girlfriend next to his side. Seems perfect right? Except.. you can't remember a thing of your human life, which also includes Harrison being your boyfriend
The King of hell Thomas himself is on a journey. A journey to get the memories of his friends girlfriend back but will this all result in him helplessly falling in love with you...?
Warnings: angst, drug use, smut, talk of religion, cursing, violance.
Your head was pounding like crazy. Everything in your mind was foggy. The only thing you were actually able to feel was the dusty ground you were laying on. It was a stone cold underground. It felt odd on your skin, unknown. Your breathing was steady but your eyes weren't ready to open yet. They felt heavy just like the rest of your body.
As if your senses were slowly starting to come back you could make up some voices. You couldn't hear what they were saying neither did you reconize them. Every second that passed they started to become more and more clear. Your hearing picked up some words here and there but not enough to make any sense just yet. You tried moving your hands but it felt as if you whole body was paralized. The more you kept trying the more frustrated you grew by not succeeding. After a while your index finger got tilted off the ground and you got excited by your little succes. After what felt like ages you were finally able to move your head and immediately the voices became quite.
"She is starting to wake up" one of the men said. With a big sigh you were able to open your eyes and you were met by two brown and two icy blue eyes.
Four pair of eyes who were all unfamiliair to you.
15 minutes prior
Harrisons eyes flew open, darkness consuming his sight.
His chest and feet were naked, the only thing covering his body were some black dressing trousers. His back was absolutely killing him, he tried to move his muscles when a heavy unfamiliar feeling overwhelmed him. His hand reached for his back. Instead of a skin like texture his finger tips were met by feathers. Harrison jumped up from the ground and tried looking over his shoulders to see what was going on, only for his eyes to met by large black wings.
‘’I’m fucking dreaming’’ he murmered.
‘’That’s what they all say mate’’ a voice echoes trough the empyness.
Harrison jumped a little as he turns his whole body towards the placet he voice was coming from. Even more shock washes over him as he sees his middle/high school bestfriend who he had lost contact with standing in front of him. Broad shoulders, black suit, his hair slicked back with even bigger and more powerful looking black wings plastered on his back.
‘’Tom?” Harrison gasps. Somewhat feeling relieved seeing someone he trusts in this crazy situation.
‘’Hey Haz, long time no see’’ Tom’s serious face transformed in a little grin as he steps forward to give Harrison a quick pat on the back
Where the hell am I?” Harrison asks, still highly convinced this all wasn’t real and he would wake up in his bed any second now.
Tom’s abnoxious laughs fills Harrison’s ears.
‘’Funny choice of words, welcome to my kingdom. Hell’’ Tom spreads his arms and does a step back from Harrison looking around the darkness, a smile on his face. A very proud smile tob e exact.
‘’What the fuck. Did I snort too many lines or some shit? This is one sick dream’’ Harrison groans dragging his hands over his face.
‘’’Drugs? Well that’s one explanation for why you’re here. But let me tell you it’s okay, you can have so much more fun here than with the old boring man up in the sky’’.
‘’This is insane. That car crash must have fucked me up, am I in a coma of some kind?’’ Harrison questions. None of this making any sense to him.
‘’Well also don’t have to ask how you died anymore. I like this, normally I have to ask all the questions but you’re just spilling them out’’ Tom says pleased by the situation.
‘’Died, what the fuck are you talking about? Where is y/n.. Shit wait where is she? Babe, y/n whe-‘’ Harrison looked around him his heart pounding in his chest. Terrified by the thought of losing you. But before the panic coul really kick in he saw your fragile body laying a couple feet further away. A flowy black dress hugging your figure, black wings laying over you protectively.
Without wasting another second he ran to you and kneeled next to your side, moving some strings of hair out of your face.
‘’Is she your girl?” Tom asks, who was also making his way over to your body now.
‘’Yes she is. Shit, why is she here? She shouldn’t be in hell my precious angel’’ Harrisons heart tightens. Was it because of the drugs? He never would’ve gotten you involved if he knew this was your destination.
‘’Well she wasn’t much of a angel if she ended up here’’ Tom laughs.
‘’Shut up, why isn’t she awake yet?’’ Harrison asks.
‘’Don’t worry she will, some just take a little more time. You believe me tough? That it’s not a dream. That part useally takes the longest to get in their head. Get’s on my nerves, some of the demons still think it’s a dream and they’ve been here for 50 plus years’’ Tom sighs.
Harrison seems tot think for a second but then nods.
‘’Don’t really have another explonation for this. Plus I know if I were dreaming I would never make your stupid ass the King’’ Harrison gets a slap on his arm for that comment but before Tom could say anything else you started moving your head and opened your eyes slowly.
‘’She is starting to wake up’’
<< ---------------- >>
‘’Y/n are you okay?” was the first thing the blue eyes boy said. Your head was still hurtin like crazy. Their faces, the darkness around and even your own body all felt as if you were in one crazy fever dream. You sat up slowly, the blonde boy immediatly helping you. His touch felt cold and unfamiliar, making you shiver.
‘’Are you okay babe?”, you frowned your brows at the nickname.
“Babe?” you question not really sure why he was calling you that.
‘’Yes babe, are you alright? You look a little pale’’ he places the back of his hand against your cheek. You automatically jump back from the sudden touch.
‘’Who are you?” your voice is weak and a little shaky.
‘’I’m Thomas Holland, King of hell’’ the other man answered. Assuming the question was for him.
What did he mean by that? Were they some random kidnappers who were into a weird roleplay kink? I it wasn’t for the place you were in you probably would have believed that. But the atmosphere was not something from earth. You could only see a couple feet of dusty stone ground before it faded in pitch black. There was no end, just a circle in some place that looked like well... hell. Also the wings you had seen on them were plastered on your own back as well. And they didn’t really feel like stick ons.
‘’Where am I?” you ask, now fully sitting up. The blonde still kneeling by your side with the brunette right beside him.
‘’I mean I just told you i’m the king of hell so I don’t know, at the cinema maybe?” Tom said sarcastically.
‘’Is this a dream?’’ you groan, your brain not able to comprehend any of this.
‘’Told you that everyone asks that’’ Tom laughs.
‘’Shut up mate, that’s very logical thinking’’ the other one defended you.
‘’So i’m in hell and you’re the ruler?” you ask the brunett. He nods in responds.
‘’A quick learner, I like you already’’
With some help you are finally able to stand on your feet, they’re a little wonkly but nothing you coudn’t handle. You hold the pale forarms of the blonde boy tightly, his veins popping out. Big blue eyes staring in yours with a small loving smile on his face.
‘’And what’s your name?” as soon as the words left your mouth that loving smile dropped off his face. His tight grips on your arms slowly fades as the stares at you with furrowed eyebrows.
‘’Are you kidding love?” he asks. His voice laced with hurt. It breaks your heart to hear, but you have truly no idea who he is.
‘’No, i’m sorry I really don’t know who you are’’ you apologize.
‘’I’m Harrison, your boyfriend? We’ve been together for years! We got here together love, in that car crash?’’ Harrison sounds deseprate confused and extremely hurt all-in once.
You squeeze your eyes and try your absolute best to remember it, anything at all for that matter. But nothing came up. Pure blackness.
‘’I’m sorry Harrison I don’t remember you. I don’t remember anything, the only thing in my mind are the past five minutes I have spent here’’ you say.
Harrison looks back at Tom, who to your suprise also looks puzzeled.
‘’Man do you know why she can’t remember? Isn’t that weird?” Harrison asks his friend.
‘’No, it’s normal actually. Nobody who ends up here remembers anything, you are the special one Haz. It’s because.. well it is a long story but bascially because you’re my friend I made sure you did remember your human life. I’ll make sure to explain it later. It’s just that it indeed would have made sense that if you come here with someone they should remember everything as well’’ Tom rambles. The last part more to himself then either of you.
‘’You two know eachother?’’ you ask.
‘’We were bestfriend for ages, when I went to college and met you we just kind of lost contact. Guess I know where you have been while not answering my messages’’ Harrison grins. ‘’How did you become king of hell anyway?”
‘’Let’s not use all our stories for now. We’ll have eternity’’ Tom laughs.
‘’Instead let’s get out of here. This place isn’t actual hell, just a go trough. To take you to the real deal after coming to your senses first. Because I concider you two as my friend I won’t send you to the fire pit but my place instead. Feel honored’’ Tom grins jokingly before he starts walking.
‘’Do we just follow you?” you ask, your voice still weak. Not wanting to make any mistakes. Still scared out of your mind by these strangers.
‘’Yes darling, don’t worry I won’t bite. Unless you want me to’’ he winks.
Resulting in Harrison protectively pulling you closer to him.
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Happy Birthday @charlotteg234
Call Me By His Name, Pt. 1 (Fearless --Liam x Riley, Drake and Alyssa)
Our dearest friend @charlotteg234,
I know getting a random message from a complete stranger can be a little intimidating and causes a lot of people to get all nervous, but not you. You acted like we had always known each and were just long lost friends catching. You have this unique quality that draws people to you, whether it's your amazing sense of humor or your supportive, caring nature. You're just a fun person to know, who makes everyone around you feel loved and appreciated. Burns and I are so grateful to know you and all the many, many laughs we've shared in that chat. From movie nights, to sharing wild and crazy stories, your weather videos lol, your encyclopedic knowledge of all things Armie, your ARMIE picture stash, and a million other random insane conversations, you truly are one of kind. We love you and we wish you the best of birthdays!
Om to my nom, Burns and Mother
A/N: This fic is going to be broken in two parts or it'll never be posted in time for your birthday lol Its absolute ridiculousness and you'll probably wonder why we even bothered lol You'll recognize some similarities to conversations we've had in this.
Warnings: Foul language, adult conversation, mention of cannibalism and knife play. So many other things. Probably best not to even read. And if you're at all triggered by ARMIE Hammer (who is not mentioned by his actual name in this) it's best to steer clear of this.
A/N 2: I’m sorry lol
This fic is written in collaboration with @burnsoslow and @bbrandy2002
Bright and early one morning, Riley stepped into her office at the palace to begin another day of work as the Queen of Cordonia.
She had only been married to Liam for a few weeks and still didn't know what the hell she was doing, and most days were spent "winging it" or asking a million questions of her secretary. Thankfully, she was married to an incredible man who had the patience and understanding of a saint. He was perfect in every way and would do anything for his wife.
With a drawn-out yawn, she slipped behind her desk, where a fresh stack of mail sitting in the dead center caught her attention. Taking her seat, she excitedly reached for the pile of envelopes and began quickly thumbing through each with a meticulous eye.
After tossing several pieces aside, Riley’s brown eyes brightened, and a broad grin swept across her face when her attention was drawn to an address label featuring the name of one particular male celebrity she and Alyssa reached out to weeks ago.
Her heart began to pound with eagerness as she immediately plucked it out of the pile from the others and cast the rest aside. It had to be good news if he responded, right?
With one flourishing sweep of a letter opener, Riley bit her bottom lip as she pulled out the folded-over paper inside and hurriedly scanned the contents of its typed message.
A few seconds later, she finally discovered the answer she'd been so eager to find within that note and let out a celebratory squeal.
There was no time to wait; Riley had to share the news with her best friend, who had also been waiting on pins-and-needles to hear if their request was accepted.
Picking up on the sixth ring, Alyssa's heavily groggy voice answered. "Hello."
"Alyssa, are you sitting down?" Riley enthused, barely able to get the words out.
Speaking through a yawn, she responded, "Do I sound like I'm up?"
"No, but ... okay, listen ... remember that letter we sent for Charlotte-Grace's birthday --"
"AHHHH, HE SAID YES, DIDN'T HE?" Alyssa shouted excitedly as Riley pulled the phone away from her ear, beaming from her friend's squeal reverberating through the receiver. "I can't believe that worked. Is he really coming? He actually said yes?"
"He did. I'm holding the letter in my hand right now." Riley's nose shot across the crisp paper with a whiff. "It smells exactly like marijuana and ... I ... I think I detect a hint of ... ribs? ... Maybe roast beef? I dunno. Definitely some type of fleshy meat."
"Hey, don't sniff all the essence out of it before I've had a chance to smell it too! You know I love the scent of pot ... and I bet he smokes the good shit too; none of that cheap stuff Drake bought out of that guy's van down by the river a few weeks back. Riley, it smelled like ass, and I swear to God I saw the fucking Lucky Charms leprechaun in my shower for two days after smoking it ... It was NOT magically delicious."
"That … sounds like a you problem. So what's the plan here?" Riley asked. "When do we tell her we got Leggie Nale to come to her birthday party?"
"Hmm ..." Alyssa pondered for a moment. "Oh! Duh … we have our monthly Zoom meet-up with our girls tomorrow morning; I'm sure Gracie will be there. We can surprise her then."
"That's right!" Riley remembered before letting out a sharp exhale. "Shit! You guys had me download those damn filters during the last Zoom meet, and my face is still a potato. I've tried everything to get it fixed, and I.T. has been no help. I don't need another hour of potato puns."
Alyssa let out a chortle. "Taters gonna tate, Riley."
"Shut up!" Riley whined.
"You know I'm just messing with ya," Alyssa continued to chuckle. "I don't wanna piss you off … you're my best spud."
"HA HA. You got them jokes, " Riley replied sardonically. "This conversation is over. See you tomorrow morning on Zoom ... I'll be the round one in brown."
Calling Charlotte-Grace -- also known as Gracie among her friends -- a “fan” of Leggie Nale was a vast understatement. The girl lived, ate, and breathed him. She knew every line of his movies, of interviews he’d given, and had the most extensive collection of Leggie pictures stored on her devices. Additionally, she was the moderator of the most popular fan-based chat group for him on WhatsApp: NALE Us, Leggie.
Two months ago, while chatting with their favorite Syracuse Alpha Phi alumnae, Gracie shared with Alyssa and Riley that Leggie was planning an I Only Eat Real Food tour across Europe and wanted to check out the sharp weaponry exhibit in Lythikos during his travels. Of course, it was exciting to know that one of their celebrity crushes would be in Cordonia for a day -- coincidentally on Gracie’s birthday -- and his special visit was ripe with possibilities.
After some private discussions between the two girls, they decided they would write to Leggie, using Alyssa's gift of persuasion and Riley's title as Queen, to see if he might stop by the palace before making his way to Lythikos. They knew it was a long shot, but they would fly Gracie out to meet him if he agreed.
Due to the 10-hour time difference, Alyssa and Riley logged into the Zoom meet early the following morning. Over the next hour, their former Syracuse sorority sisters popped in to chat, as they had done each month for the last year. They would catch up on gossip, bitch about their lives, laugh until their sides hurt, drink a little, and just have a good time. Every chance they got together, it seemed like no time had passed since their college days.
"Girls, today, I literally drove to work, pondering the words of the great philosopher, Haddaway ..." Emma swirled her red wine and lifted a brow into the camera of her laptop. "What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more."
"Did you get it figured out?" Lauren inquired with a grin in her portion of the screen as she tossed back another shot of tequila.
"Hell no," Em replied peevishly. "I still wanna know what the fuck Baby's problem is, though? Baby needs to be cut."
"Well, I spent yesterday trying to determine if all the examples of irony in the song ‘Ironic’ were indeed ... ironic," Alyssa piped in. "I don't believe a black fly in a Chardonnay was a good example. Riley disagrees with me."
"I do not, you lying sack!" Riley shouted back. "I said, 'I'm in a council meeting and can’t talk about it.'"
"Riley, you can't say the word 'sack' while your face is still a potato," Ani joked, eliciting a laugh from the rest of the group. “I can’t take you seriously right now.”
"Speaking of sacks," Gracie interjected with a devilish grin. "Did you guys hear Nikki Baker from Kappa Delta married our old English Lit professor, Farnsworth? He has to be at least 70 by now. You know he's got an old crusty sack."
"What in the blue hell is the matter with her?" Emma challenged. "Why? Just why?"
"She always did like the floppy dongs." Ani quipped with a snicker. “Floppy dongs for flappy lips.”
"You know what I think about her ... " Lauren began before pausing in thought, then shaking her head. "No, never mind. It's too mean to say."
"Girl, just say it. Everyone here is thinking it anyway," Riley insisted.
Lauren hesitated for a split second before frowning. "I don't think so."
"Not to change the subject of crusty sacks or anything, but I found this new picture of Leggie on Pinterest today that I have to show you all." Gracie scrolled her mouse around in concentration, and with one last click, an image of Leggie Nale wearing only a pair of fireman pants popped up on the screen. She proudly asserted, "That is all."
"Oh my fucking damn," Emma gasped as she leaned in closer to her screen. "Alexa! Charge my vibrator."
"I think it's time to burn down my house," Ani mused, tipping back a bottle.
"You all know he's a cannibal, right?" Drake said in the background of Alyssa's screen, as he strolled up to his new wife and leaned down, kissing her good morning.
Gracie sighed disdainfully. "Leggie is NOT a cannibal; he just likes to carve things."
"He can carve me," Emma gleefully offered. "Lyssa, maybe you should use that engraved knife you had for protection in college on your husband there. Write your initials on those burly chest muscles he's got going on. I still remember the good Christian name you gave it ... Jebediah."
Ignoring her comment, Drake quickly pulled a white tee over his head before heading into another room. Alyssa giggled. "I have it somewhere, but I don't think Drake is into that sort of thing."
"That's too bad. What about you, Riley? Does that King of yours like the knife play? He seems like the type of guy who is down for anything."
"Emma!" Riley guffawed. "How much have you had to drink tonight?"
"Not enough; I've had a long week at work. Pregnant women can be extremely bitchy sometimes. I swear ... I have this razor I keep under my titty. I've threatened it often, but rarely pull it out because I need it to rust so that when I really have to use it, it will cause more damage."
"Oh, snap!" Gracie jested before adding, "Em's gonna use her rusty titty razor on all of us."
Alyssa tipped her chin smugly and narrowed her eyes, "I ain't skeered over her tit slicer. I have Jebediah."
Gracie let out a wince as she caught sight of the time on her computer. "Girls, I didn't realize we had been on here this long: I'm gonna have to go. I have to be at the station at six in the morning ... the weather isn't going to report itself."
"Wait!" Riley demanded. "Before you go, Alyssa and I have something we wanted to tell you."
Alyssa's dimples popped out as she glanced into Gracie's square of the chat. "This won't take long, I promise. But with your birthday coming up next month, Riley and I wanted to do something special for you since we love you so much. So we have decided we would like to pay your way to fly out here and spend it with us."
Gracie's hands shot to her gaping mouth. "Oh my God! Are you serious? I would love to visit Cordonia."
Riley smiled brightly as Alyssa nodded and continued, "Yes, we're very serious. And that's not even the best part. You told us that Leggie Nale would be making a stop in Cordonia during his comeback tour through Europe, so Riley and I sent a letter requesting he stop in and meet with us while he's here ... and he said YES!"
"SHUT UP! I'm going to meet Leggie Nale?" Gracie let out a high-pitched shriek. "I don't know what to say. I can't believe you both did that for me."
Riley smiled. "You deserve it, Gracie. And we love you so, so much. It's the least we could do for you."
"Hold on. I want to meet Leggie Nale too." Lauren spoke up.
Ani tapped her finger on Alyssa's square as if she were poking her angrily. "You can't have one of the hottest guys on this planet visit you all and not expect that I won't be there for it too. I'm also coming. I dare you to stop me."
"I'm with Lauren and Ani," Emma agreed. "I don't think you can keep all of us from flying out to celebrate Gracie's birthday and seeing Leggie Nale."
Riley glanced down at Alyssa's square. "I'm fine with it. Obviously, I have plenty of room for everyone to stay. You'll just have to buy your own airline tickets.”
Gracie clapped excitedly. "YAY! I’m so excited!" She placed both hands over her chest and exhaled. "This is going to be the best day of my life. I ... I can feel it in muh tits!"
“Well, that’s settled then,” Riley concluded. “Lyss and I will see all of you out here next month.”
One month later, and the big day everyone was waiting for had finally arrived. Gracie, Emma, Ani, and Lauren flew in the night before, were all set up in their rooms, and had made use of the luxuries offered to them.
Alyssa showed up at dawn to help Riley entertain their sisters while staff worked busily at turning the ballroom into a Leggie Nale-themed oasis. Drake rode in with his wife and would spend his time during the birthday party hanging out with Liam.
After getting the royal spa treatment by the best beauticians and stylist the crown had to offer, Riley and Alyssa ushered the impatient woman through the palace and made their way to the ballroom.
When the doors opened, Gracie was greeted with a room decorated in Leggie Nale movie posters: A.U.N.T, Text Me By Your Name, Wounded, Rebekkah, and Murder On The Mississippi, just to name a few. A lavish buffet spread of all of her favorite dishes filled two entire tables: Tacos, chicken nuggets, sushi, cheeseburgers, and beef jerky. As Gracie strolled in with the girls, she took it all in, admiring everything from the Leggie balloons to the sheet cake photoshopped with her likeness kissing Leggie Nale on the red carpet as he grabbed her boob. The bar was also fully stocked and ready to serve.
As the sorority sisters began loading their plate, Riley looked down at her phone with concern. The other guest of honor should have been here by now. Alyssa approached her holding a plate full of tacos and asked, “What’s that face for? You look like you’re about to hurl.”
Riley let out a sigh. “Nothing. It’s just I assumed Leggie would be here by now. He said he would arrive at noon and it’s already 12:30. What if he doesn’t show up, Lyss?”
“He’ll be here, Ri. You know how celebrities are; they usually show up fashionably late to everything just because they can. Now go get something to eat and it’ll take your mind off of it.”
Riley smiled and followed her friend to the buffet. Sitting at a round table decorated in balloons with her sisters, Gracie plopped a chicken nugget in her mouth and asked, “So when will Leggie be here?”
Everyone else at the table was wondering the same thing.
Riley and Alyssa awkwardly glanced at each other. It was now past 1:00 and it was looking more and more doubtful their man-crush was going to pull through for them. Alyssa gave a timid smile to her friends. “He’ll be here. Traffic in the capital is always bad at this time of day. He probably got caught in it coming from the airport.” Even she didn’t believe that.
Another 10 minutes went by as Riley stared expectantly at the door, waiting for staff to announce Leggie had finally made it. She could practically feel the sweat rolling down her ass crack at this point and her bouncing legs were rattling the table.
“He’s not coming, is he?” Gracie surmised with a dejected look as her teary eyes moved between Alyssa and Riley. Lauren patted her back to console her disappointed friend.
“Aww, Gracie. I’m sure Alyssa and Riley had good intentions -- just couldn’t pull through in the end,” Ani remarked with a shrug.
Alyssa’s face burned with embarrassment and a little bit of anger at being hoodwinked by one of her favorite heartthrobs. And Ani had most definitely just gotten dropped from her Christmas list this year. “He’ll be here, okay? Have I ever not come through for my Alpha Phi girls?”
Emma thought for a moment then nodded. “Alyssa’s right. If she says he’ll be here, then … he’ll be here.”
“Hey. We don’t have to just sit here the whole time, ya know. It’s a party -- why don’t we crank up some music and hang out at the bar while we wait?” Lauren suggested cheerfully.
“I’m game,” Ani said as she grabbed Gracie’s hand and pulled her from the table. “Come on, let’s see if you can still hold your liquor.”
Alyssa glanced over at Riley who was staring down at her phone with a disconcerting look, not saying a word. “Ok, that was intense. Any word from Bastien yet?”
Riley tossed her phone on the table, her lips sucked between her teeth; she simply shook her head.
“What the hell does that mean, Riley? There’s no word, or there’s bad news.”
Riley’s head fell back, glaring blankly at the ceiling above for a second, before she let out a sharp breath, turned to Alyssa and muttered, “He’s not coming, Lyss.”
“What do you mean he’s not coming? He said he would show up today.” She was close to fuming but didn’t want to alarm the girls enjoying themselves at the bar.
Riley’s hands flew in the air. “We’re fucked! … Bastien texted me and reported Leggie had been detained in Auvernal -- and it’s bad, Lyss. It’s so bad.”
“Oh my God! What happened?”
Riley shook her head in disbelief. “Bradshaw is what happened. Supposedly, Leggie tried to cross the border into Cordonia, and when Auvernal guards searched his belongings, they found him in possession of one of Isabella’s mannequins that she hangs her ballgowns on, two lengths of rope, a dime bag of weed, and unlabeled benzos.” Riley pounded her fist onto the table. “Apparently, those two assholes just couldn’t let that go.”
“Oh shit! This is bad.” Alyssa pressed her fingers into her forehead. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“Why couldn’t he behave for just one day, Lyss?” Riley held up her finger and wagged it. “One day was all we needed. One little measly day.” She let out a resigned sigh. “Gracie is going to be so disappointed. Not to mention the other girls. I sure hope they confiscated Em’s titty razor at the airport.”
Alyssa watched the girls at the bar, having the time of their lives, dancing and drinking. It really was just like old times again. And while she knew her sorority sisters would understand that this incident was beyond her control, that nagging feeling over not being able to come through for Gracie’s birthday and make her wish come true continued to eat her up.
“I suppose I’ll go over there and break the news … to them …” Alyssa’s words trailed off as she caught sight of the background photo on Riley’s phone laying on the table. Riley creased her forehead in confusion as Alyssa cocked her to the side; a slow smirk building on her face. “Liam,” she whispered as an idea formulated.
Riley looked down at her phone and back to Alyssa. “Liam, what?”
“Riley, haven’t you ever thought Liam has a remarkably uncanny resemblance to Leggie?” Alyssa prodded her.
Riley considered for a moment then shook her head. “No. Not really.”
“Oh come on! They could practically be the same person. How can you not see it?”
“Ok, maybe a little,” Riley conceded with a half-shrug. “What’s your point? … Wait a sec … I know what you’re thinking.”
“And?” Alyssa implored.
“And I say ... what the hell? He’s not doing anything important today but hanging out with Drake.”
Sitting on the sofa with his legs propped up on the coffee table, Liam picked up the remote to lower the volume on the television. He shot a confused glance up at Riley and Lyss, hovering desperately next to him. “You want me to do what now?”
Riley scooted her ass onto the armrest and rubbed a tantalizing hand through his perfectly-coiffed hair. “Can you … maybe come downstairs and pretend to be Leggie Nale, just for a few minutes, my king? I promise I’ll give you anything you want,” she purred, sliding her tongue seductively across her plush pink lips.
Liam quirked a brow and a grin. “Anything, huh?”
Drake snorted from the other end of the sofa. “You are so pussy-whipped.”
Liam cast a knowing look at his longtime friend. “And you’re not?” Drake tipped his beer to Liam with a smirk then chugged down a swallow.
Alyssa stepped in front of the television, blocking the view of the men’s monster truck rally, and clapped her hands together. “Listen. All we need is for Liam to dress up like Leggie Nale. He’ll come downstairs, say ‘Happy Birthday’ to Gracie, take a few pictures, then say he has to be on his way. A quick in-and-out, and then you two can go back to doing what you were doing.”
“That’s all well and fine,” Liam retorted, “but even if I were to do this, I don’t even know who this … Leggie person is.”
“He’s a cannibal, Li,” Drake interjected, wiping chip crumbs off his jeans. “Eats people’s ribs and shit; and our wives think he’s hot.”
“You don’t even know him, Drake,” Riley bit back then smiled down innocently at Liam “He’s not a cannibal, sweetie. And you’re way, way hotter than he is.” She pressed a kiss to his lips.
Drake sat forward and placed the chip bowl on the table. “I don’t have to know him, Riley. I’ve seen enough news articles pop up on my phone about this guy to know his deal. And what the hell kind of name is Leggie?”
“It’s a family name,” Alyssa answered against her husband’s critical stare. “Short for Alegzander.”
Drake blinked. “Yeah … that’s better.”
Liam kissed the back of Riley’s hand and rose from the couch to head to the kitchen to refill his drink. The girls followed right on his heels, waiting with bated breath for an answer. He opened the refrigerator, doing his best to avoid the topic and giving them a definitive answer.
Unable to take his diversion tactics any longer, Riley decided it was time to beg. “Liam. I know this all sounds crazy --”
“Oh, I’d say it’s bordering on insanity, My Love,” he quipped, grabbing two cold bottles of beer.
Alyssa reached for the bottle opener in a drawer. “Look. If it blows up in our faces, so be it.” Liam held the bottles out to her so she could pop them off. “But there is a great girl down there right now who we promised would get to meet Leggie Nale for her birthday and three more of our good friends who traveled a very long distance for this moment ...”
“Except it won’t be this Arm … er ... Leggie, guy. It’ll be me. Do you really want to deceive your friends like that?”
Riley nodded. “We do.”
“Only because it will make them happy,” Alyssa added hastily. “Pleeeease, Liam. You still owe me for my part in your social season,” she goaded.
“Emotional blackmail?” He shook his head and took a drink from one of the beers. “That only works on Drake, Alyssa.”
Alyssa’s lip quivered with a shuddered breath. “You really think I’m that horrible?” her small voice mewled out. “I didn’t know you thought so little of me. Why didn’t you ever tell me, Liam, just the kind of shitty person I am --”
“Okay! I’ll do it.” Liam relented under duress and set the bottles down on the countertop. “Promise me, though, you’ll stop all this manipulation and tears.”
Alyssa held her hand out for a shake with a twinkle in her eye. “Done!”
Drake chuckled from the door in amusement. “I knew she’d break you. Good job, Pip.”
The four shuffled up to the bedroom to find attire that was more suited to Leggie’s style. Riley rummaged through Liam’s closet in search of a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. After Lyss sent a text to Gracie to let her and the girls know that she and Riley would be back soon with Leggie, as he “needed a ride from the airport,” it was time for the daunting task of turning Liam into the hunky American celeb.
Alyssa clasped her hands under her chin and asked Liam, “Can you give me your best American accent?”
Liam nodded then thought about it for a moment before clearing his throat. “Oh my Gawwd, like, it’s Britney, bitch.”
Alyssa busted out in hysterics at the same time that Drake clutched his stomach and doubled over in a fit of laughter. Riley’s cackle echoed from the closet, “Did he just say, ‘it’s Britney, bitch’?”
Liam rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t have to do this, you know.”
“Nooo.” Alyssa quickly composed herself, holding him back from leaving. “You’re right, and that was great. But it was more … Valley Girl. Try another one. A little more subtle this time and less nasal.”
Liam rolled his neck, trying to loosen the tension in his throat. He licked his lips and hollered out, “Where’s ma gawdamn truck, Maury Ann.”
Drake was done. He fell to the floor, his body shaking as he erupted into another burst of laughter. Alyssa bit down hard on her lip to prevent herself from losing control, but the tears trickling down her cheeks were hard to hide. Liam turned toward the closet when he heard a crash of boxes hit the floor followed by the hyena-like screeches of his wife. “I am going … to piss … my pants.”
Several minutes later and after the girls played interview clips of Leggie on the Late-Late Show and Graham Norton, Liam was able to get his accent and mannerisms as close to the movie star as he was able to. It was good enough that he could pass with it.
Once Liam had changed into a pair of jeans that Riley had ripped a hole in the knee of, tossed on an old athletic tee, and slipped his feet into a pair of sneakers, Alyssa used hair gel to spike up his hair wildly and Riley handed him a pair of sunglasses to wear. Liam appraised his new look in the mirror, shaking out his arms to get accustomed to his act. “I am Leggie Nale.” He whirled around and looked between Alyssa and Riley through his shades. “This takes no more than five minutes; do you understand? I go in, tell Gracie happy birthday, let them get a few pictures with me, and then head to my ‘next engagement,’” he stressed in air quotes. “We’re clear on that?”
Both girls nodded in understanding. Liam made his way out of the bedroom with Riley following behind giving him last-minute tips on questions he may encounter about movie roles and his personal life. Alyssa stopped just shy of the door and twisted around to glance at Drake, who was pushing himself up from his sitting position on the floor. “Are you coming with us, sweetie?” She smiled.
Drake stood in front of Alyssa and booped her nose. “Baby, I wouldn’t miss this for all the whiskey in the world.”
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Taylor Swift Unreleased Download
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A subreddit for Taylor Swift news, music, discussion, etc. Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. User account menu. Unreleased Songs (Dropbox Link) For those who cannot torrent. Posted by 7 years ago. Unreleased Songs (Dropbox Link) For those who. Stream Taylor Swift Unreleased Songs, a playlist by maya from desktop or your mobile device. Taylor swift unreleased songs torrent free full. download, taylor swift Taylor Swift ” Never Mind studio demo pop ” lyrics (Free to Unreleased Songs Need You Now- Taylor Swift (Unreleased Song) Taylor Swift – Unreleased Songs (2011) 23 tracks Genre: Pop Release: Pop Taylor Swift - Unreleased Songs (2011 Tracklist 1. All beautiful songs:) Darkbluetennessee.com is still down. If you do not know what that site does for swifties who love unreleased songs, you haven't been living.:D No new unreleased songs leaked whatsoever. Not that I'm sad or happy:3 I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED ON MORE TAYLOR SWIFT UNRELEASED SONGS NEWS! COMMENT, REPLY, SUGGESTIONS, HELP. Taylor Swift UnReleased Songs: Demo CD Taylor Swift's Demo CD songs Taylor wrote these songs when she was very young and she sent these songs to record labels in a demo CD. Mig Mix) 3:38 The first song Taylor wrote, describing herself about a girl who had big dreams:) 2. Smokey Black Nights 3:14.
If you go on to Youtube, you can find scads of unreleased Taylor Swift material. Why are these songs currently not legally available for our listening pleasure? Beats the hell out of me. I've tried my best to collect all the songs that are studio quality for this blog entry. I may have missed a few so forgive me. I also tried to avoid live performances from concerts. (You can find a few of those).
First is Taylor's demo CD which has 3 tracks. However, another source tells me there are 10 tracks. Here are all 10 to be safe, but just know tracks 4-10 may also be random unreleased songs.
Taylor's reported first ever written song is about a girl named Lucky who's 'dances in spite of the fact that she's different and yet she's the same'. The chorus is primarily made up of 'do do do do do do...' so she had yet to fully thrive as a lyricist. The melody, especially the verses is promising though.
2. Smokey Black Nights
A love song that takes place on the beach. It's okay. It has a few good musical motifs, but the lyrics are weak and murky.
3. American Boy (acoustic version)
A song about, you guessed it, an American boy and his search for love. The recording of this is kind of shitty and the lyrics are still not all they could be.
4. Here You Come Again
A cover of Dolly Parton's classic 1977 hit. It sounds like pretty standard karaoke to me, so I don't think it was really part of the Demo. Taylor sounds about 12 or so and it's waaaaaaaaaay pitchy. Beware.
5. Hopelessly Devoted to You
This is a cover of the Olivia Newton-John song from Grease. Also sounds like karaoke recorded at age 12. However, she sings the song more convincingly than Olivia Newton-John.
6. Am I Ready For Love?
Lyrically, this song is stronger. This is the first instance of the diary-esque internal type lyrics where Taylor wonders if the pain of love is worth it or if she's even ready. Although, personally, I was a smart ass and always thought I was ready for love. It's a pretty rhetorical question.
7. Can I Go With You?
Taylor doesn't want to see her father go to war and wants to go with him. This song is topical for the early 2000's. This song only works from a girl Taylor's age. Not bad.
8. One Way Ticket
Another cover song, this time it's LeAnn Rimes. It seems pretty ballsy to cover LeAnn Rimes. Too ballsy.
9. There's Your Trouble
This time Taylor covers the Dixie Chicks. Karaoke.
10. The Star Spangled Banner
Exactly what it says. And as bad as you think.
Next are a few studio quality unreleased songs found on Youtube listed in alphabetical order.
A cover of Tom Petty and the Heartbreaker's American classic. It's popped out and way reminiscent of Britney Spears' covers of 'The Beat Goes On' or 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction'. Unnecessary but not terrible.
This is, hands down, one of the best Taylor Swift songs. It's a friend zone song. (Fourth by my count). Instead of being in love with a guy obsessed with another girl (girlfriend or not), this guy is a bit of commitment-phobe. But Taylor keeps her love a secret at all costs, even if she knows every random fact about him. This would be a guaranteed hit if it was ever released. Oh I love this song and if you ask me why, I'll lie.
Taylor hates her boyfriend's ex and crosses out her face in all the pictures he still has of her. This is the first instance of Taylor hating the 'other woman'. It's delightfully immature.
What to Wear
Taylor wonders what to wear before a first date. Very breezy and girly. This would be great as a bonus track.
You Don't Have To
This isn't even a whole song. It's a 40 second clip but it's a damn good clip. Where's the rest of the song?
This one is a little unsettling. Taylor talks about how badly she wants to be with this one guy that 'I'd give everything to be your anything'. I know it's a plucky play on words but this song is so desperate. It sends the wrong message, but it's honest.
After a break up, Taylor doesn't want to forget the memory of her ex. This song is really heartfelt. Pitchy, but heartfelt. One of Taylor's first slow, sad songs.
From soundtracks and the like...
I didn't include Taylor's Live from SoHo live album on my EP blog because it's just live versions of songs from Taylor Swift. The album did include a country-fied slow cover of Rihanna's 'Umbrella'. It's shorter, a 1:30 and not too bad.
This slow song was featured in 2009's Hannah Montana: The Movie. I haven't seen it, but as far as I know, Taylor is singing in a dance hall while Miley/Hannah Montana is dancing with some dude. It's a simple but beautiful love song. The guy makes her crazier. Go figure.
Thug Story (feat. T-Pain)
In the opening sequence of the 2009 Country Music Awards, which Taylor co-host with Bill Engvall, she shares her various 'dreams' of being in the new Star Trek movie and singing a song with auto-tune poster boy T-Pain. Then Taylor gets all Weird Al on us and parodies 'Love Story by rapping about how 'hardcore' she is even though she 'ain't gotta gun, no I never really been in a club, still live with my parents but I'm still a thug!'
Today Was a Fairytale
Taylor's second single to be written for a movie. This time it's 2010's Valentine's Day in which she starred. Eh. Maybe if I saw the movie, I'd like the song more.
A song on the Hope for Haiti Now compilation.It was written by some dude named Kevin Griffin I have never heard of. She was a star at the time, so I'm not surprised she was a part of the telethon. But there had to be a better song for her to cover.
When Taylor sings with other artists...
Two is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls
I don't know who Boys Like Girls are or why they would want Taylor Swift on their song. I didn't really that this was that song I heard on the radio nor that it was Taylor doing the female lead. Wow, I am an ignorant fan. Not a bad song, though.
Half of My Heart - John Mayer
Never really did like John Mayer. Taylor sings the chorus with him. WHY?
Photograph, Pour Some Sugar on Me, Hysteria, When Love and Hate Collide - Def Leppard
This was a collaboration brought on by the CMT show, Crossroads where two unrelated artists join forces and sing each other's songs. It's fun to hear Taylor sing these old classics...and even funnier when they sing Taylor's.
Songs Written by Taylor
...but performed by others...
Best Days of Your Life - Kellie Pickler
This is one of those taunting your ex songs that are popular as of late. It's kind of like 'Should've Said No' and 'Picture to Burn' only better. Kellie taunts her boyfriend that his best days have past and now he's stuck with the floozy he cheated with. 'I've got my pride and she's got you!' I'm kind of bummed that Taylor didn't keep this one for herself, even if she did sing useless back up vocals.
You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home - Miley Cyrus
No matter how famous you get...insert title here. Pretty mediocre song. No wonder she passed it along.
Well, there you go. That's a more than detailed description of all Taylor's songs. I hope this little journey through her discography has prepared you for the release of Speak Now which comes out next Tuesday, October25. As soon as I can, I will write a blog on her newest album and hopefully the bonus tracks. Stay tuned!
Music Taylor Swift Music Videos
Common elements found in Taylor Swift's songs (For fun!)
Truck/Riding Shotgun/The Passenger Seat/Driving in general - 12
Taylor Swift Unreleased Music
Fake Smile - 4
Eyes - 7
Taylor Swift Unreleased Songs Album Download
17 November 2020, 10:14 | Updated: 17 November 2020, 10:16
Taylor Swift's announced she's currently in the process of re-recording her older music to regain ownership of it and fans cannot wait to hear it.
Taylor Swift has promised fans plenty of 'surprises' as she re-records her music back catalogue due to the sale of her master recordings which she's been 'actively trying to get back' and fans can't wait to hear what she has in store.
Taking to Twitter to update fans about the ongoing 'saga' which has seen the sale of her music in a deal worth a reported $300 million, Taylor wrote:
'I have recently begun re-recording my older music.'
'It has already proven to be both exciting and creatively fulfilling. I have plenty of surprises in store.'
'I can't wait for you to hear what we've been dreaming up.'
Taylor previously announced she would be undertaking this mammoth task back in August 2019 when she first brought her feud with Scooter Braun to light over her first six albums which she currently does not own.
However, it is only recently a contract allowed her to re-record and it looks like she is wasting no time getting to work.
Fans are busy discussing how they think the re-records will sound, whether Taylor will stick close to the original of so many classics or if she will evolve them now she will be recording them again so many years later- over a decade in many cases!
Taylor Swift Newest Song
From unreleased songs, extended versions of originals, or simply switching up the composition of so many of her well-loved tracks, it's safe to say fans are on the edge of their seat waiting for these songs to be released.
She said she has 'plenty surprises in store'
I hope it's not kind of surprise that she make a new sound to her old catalog, i hope it's about unreleased songs that didn't make it to the albums back then, and now because she's Taylor Swift and she can she'll bring those songs in
Taylor Swift Unreleased Songs Download
— Maulana Nugroho (@2maulana1) November 17, 2020
Anyone who knows Taylor knows she doesn't do things by half- and seeing as the pandemic has shut down basically all live music events we know she has all the time in the world to put in the studio.
There's no word yet on when we'll get to hear any of her re-recorded stuff, so for now, watch this space!
Andy's Read Pile: Jemm, Son of Saturn Issues #1-6
Y'know what the best thing about going to your local comic book store is?
Supporting local business and the families of hard working comic book joes like us? Yes.
Getting to meet fellow comic book fans in a safe supportive environment which prides on a culture of swapping views on a variety of new and interesting comic related topics? Double Yes!
Doing all this while saving a boatload of money on some obscenely great deals that these places often run to attract patrons? Oh Hell Triple Yes!!
Thus begins the tale of how I went to my local comic store, the delightful Phantom of the Attic located on scenic William Penn Highway in the quaint suburb of Pittsburgh known as Monroeville, PA. Before Christmas they were clearing out some of their inventory with some select long boxes of single issues going for 10 cents a piece. Not the whole long box might you, but the single issue. So I took my son, Jakob, there in hopes to let him cherry pick 10 or 20 random comics for a couple bucks.
At his age, I feel it's important to get him exposure to as many different characters as possible so that he can get a sense of what's out there and what he might ultimately like.
So as I was helping him peruse those boxes for some hidden treasures, I started finding several myself, like a couple issues of Machine Man 2020, which I did a read pile on, and a mid 80s Secret Origins reboot of the origin of the Doom Patrol. It was then that I started seeing issue after issue of this series called "Jemm, Son of Saturn".
I honestly had never heard of it, but it had Gene Colan art and I've always been a sucker for his stuff every since I read his Daredevil. So I started yelling around to the other comic guys to fill me in on this series and how many issues there were, since I had found the first 10. Turns out there was 12, so I was only two issues short.
Still though for a price of a Mcchicken plus tax, I nearly got any entire run of a comic book series, not bad for a few minutes of work. Originally I thought this was some sort of weird "John Byrne"esque reboot of the established DC superhero, Martian Manhunter, ala what they did with Superman during "Man of Steel". I thought it was crazy though that they would change his skin color from his iconic green to red.
However, then I thought it was maybe to match the notion of the "red planet" and let it go as crazier reboot ideas have been thrown out there for bigger characters than Manhunter over the years (Wonder Woman as a Kung Fu Detective for example). Any who, turns out I wasn't far off. Jemm was originally conceived to Martian Manhunter's cousin until someone else at DC wanted to relaunch that character and so author, Greg Potter, decided to spare any continuity messes to just make him from the planet Saturn instead.
Turns out it didn't matter because in the 90s, Jemm's race was retconned back to being an offshoot of the Martians anyways, thus making the Son of Saturn pretty much a relative in some ways to their other famous alien superhero.
I gotta agree it was the right call just simply because their power sets and general appearance is so similar, that without that retcon Jemm really does look just like a dime store knockoff of the real J'ohnn J'onzz which isn't really fair to either character. But enough with the backstory, it's time to start the review! Although I did buy the first 10 issues of this series, I decided only to cover the first 6 in this article, given that hopefully I'll be able to track down the remaining 2 issues I'm missing at some comic show in future and be able to write the second half later. Plus, I feel like with this series, if it doesn't hook you in the first 6, you ain't gonna stick around for the rest.
10 Cent Synopsis:
After escaping from a political coup that ended a centuries long civil war between the race of red and white skinned Saturnians, the crown prince of the remaining red Saturn people, Jemm, finds himself alone on the planet Earth, trying desperately to evade the remains of the White Saturnians who are obsessed with his imprisonment and/or death while searching for his long long love, Syraa, who fled to the planet years before.
That is until in the back alley slums of New York City, Jemm befriends a small Earth boy named Luther, and the two decide to throw their combined lots in with each other, especially after some unfortunate events claim the life of Luther's caregiver in his grandfather. During the course of their misadventures together, we learn more about Jemm's special place in the Saturnian culture as he's not only royalty but also possesses the Mark of Jargon , a powerful gemstone that can not only emit psychokinetic energy blasts, but is also supposed to eventually reunite the Red and White Skinned Saturnians through it's inherent telepathic properties.
Plus we learn that a subset of White Saturnians called the Koolers which have the ability to shapeshift are really the ones that want to capture Jemm, and are mainly ruled by the more dominant females of their race.
We also learn about some evil Earthlings led by the mysterious Claudis Tull who have ill intentions for the surviving members of the both races of Saturnians. This includes manipulating Superman through some of his political contacts into fighting Jemm under the pretense of being an evil alien threat. This actually starts Superman on his own quest to find out the truth about the Saturn people and Jemm's role in their society.
Things I Liked:
This may seem like a cop out, but one of the best issues of this first 6 issue set was issue 4 which contains the battle between Superman and Jemm. This is mainly because it's Superman, and he's being drawn in some pretty incredible little fight sequences by a master of the craft in Gene Colan. I probably would have taken Superman fighting a bag full of cow flop if it was drawn by Gene, but the fluid aerial battles between these two particular caped super beings is visually a pretty astonishing treat for the eyes.
In fact, I won't lie, that it was this issue which first brought my eyes to the series in the first place as I was sifting through that massive stack of comics in the 10 cent box. I'm not even that big of a fan of the Man of Steel anyways, but still to see that cover with Jemm smashing Supes through a brick wall with a single punch was to say it bluntly...dramatic. I'm sure back in the day as well, this was the issue that the editor's were saying "Yup, if this guest appearance by our biggest of the big guns doesn't get this series over, then can it. There's nothing more we can do."
Luckily though at least for me, this single issue did elevate the series to a certain degree as I really did like the following issue as well, although that might have had more to do with them ditching the Earth based slum stories (which I'll talk about in a moment) for outer space which seemed more in tune with the character of Jemm. However regardless, Superman did exactly what he was supposed to do in that story which was to get Jemm over as a credible super being with enough power to hang within the DC Universe.
And it's true, as Jemm seems much more capable as a real hero after that battle than he ever did in the first couple of issues. It was really the shot in the ass this book needed! It's a shame that it took 4 issues in to finally do it, but hey, at least it eventually did happen.
Things I Didn't Like:
Jemm going slumming. Plain and simple.
Although I understand writers and their need sometimes to talk about the poorest and most disenfranchised people of the world, to their need to give voice to those that have none, in a story about ancient aliens from Saturn and fantastical galactic conflicts, I have grave doubts about the decision to include entire issues about sewer funerals and gangs of winos. Especially when that plays a huge part of the first 2 issues when you are just trying to engage your audience and get them hooked on a premise.
At times, it reminded me a lot of another late 70s early 80s series about a young boy and an incredible super being guardian that spends a ton of time talking about urban decay and deplorable housing conditions, Steve Gerber's Omega, the Unknown.The only difference was that with that series, I was willing to put up with it because it was Steve Gerber and I wanted to see where that story went. No offense to Greg Potter, but his name doesn't hold the same cache that Gerber's does with me so the moment I saw poor homeless Luther getting rolled by a bunch of bums for trying to share their dumpster fire, I mentally checked out to a certain degree.
I don't know if they are playing homage to the classic Billy Batson/Shazam relationship in that Billy was originally a street orphan or its a play on Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land or if tales of homelessness just make for good drama for these writers, but I just find it depressing. And truely last thing I want while reading comics is to be depressed.
Click here to read Andy's review of Omega, The Unknown.
I think the most interesting part of my reading of this comic series was the discovery that this somewhat obscure character of Jemm, actually isn't as obscure as I originally thought. I mean, he's not like the Green Lantern or even Hourman, but he does have a decent place in some stories.
This included appearing as a member of Lex Luthor's Injustice Gang during the Grant Morrison JLA run (he was brainwashed at the time), joining forces against the Hawkmen during the Rannians war against Thanagar, and a pretty intense Martain Manhunter story called "Rings of Saturn" which sees political assassination, arranged marriage, and Shakespearan tragedy as J'ohnn tries to help broker peace between the Red and White Saturnians. And although it was probably at the point when the toy series started drifting into the niche characters, he did get his own figure in Mattel's "DC Universe Classics" line in 2010.
I gotta say I do love that toy. There is something striking about that dark red and light blue color scheme with the golden accents. To say it bluntly, it just works. Sort of a color negative version of Marvel's Vision. I might pick up that figure some day if I can find him cheap just so he can fight ol' Victor Shade in a battle of stoic stares!
Finally, Jemm even appears in an episode of the uber popular Arrowverse series' on the CW. Of course, he's a straight up villain in the episode, but it's no different than his first unnamed appearance in Detective Comics #314. The appearance happens in the Supergirl episode "Human For a Day," menacingly portrayed by Charles Halford.
Jemm is one of several alien escapees of Fort Rozz, and the leader of a group called the Faceless Hunters, who rule from Saturn in this universe. Jemm's powers are pretty spot on from the comics include super strength, telepathy, psychokinetic blasts, and invulnerability.
He's also made out to be an enemy of the Martain Manhunter who ends up killing him at the end of the episode. Still though, it's not every DC character that gets a shot at being a character on these shows, so I consider his appearance to be a feather in his cap.
Maybe it's a product of it's time, in terms of delivering somewhat self contained narratives, but I really felt at moments, that this series was over the place. Well, scratch that. To say that exactly would mean there was no cohesive continuing story at all, which is just not true. There were overarching plot lines such as the war between the Red and White colored Saturn people, the evil machinations of this mysterious human power broker named Claudius Tull, and of course the genuine friendship between Jemm and the Earth boy, Luther. But from the death of Luther's granddad, to running around in the sewers with a gang of bums and street hooligans, to the brief fight with Superman, to the escape from the alien ship, this book never stays in one place or with one set of characters long enough for you to really care about any of them.
Really the only constants are Jemm and Luther, and the rest are just a wash of random people that pop in and out, and somehow we are supposed to care. Like there's a guy that lost his wife via collateral damage from an attack by the robots set to collect Jemm for the White Saturnians. He ends up having a vendetta against Jemm because he blames all aliens everywhere for this wife's death. This seems like it's an interesting enough story line, right? But other than a couple pages of exposition and the guy getting hold of this alien killing machine gun which he uses to mainly shoot Superman, not Jemm, his story is not really explored at all. And there are tons of these little lost ideas throughout.
A Oliver Twist like Fagan who wants Luther to join his pack of street urchin pickpockets? Male Sex slaves on board the White Saturnians command ship? Hell, the fight with Supes alone! I feel like if this was rewritten in today's trade paperback style, we would have at least had a couple issues on any number of these ideas, but instead they just flutter around like leaves in the wind.
Still though, I am glad I read it. Jemm did have a pretty decent origin story and the overall mythology ain't that bad. Plus the White Saturnian Females are pretty interesting as the villains of the piece and issue 5 aboard their command ship is a particularly good single issue. As I said at the beginning of this review, I will eventually track down the final 2 issues so I can see what happens in the second half of the story.
Trust me, I wouldn't be doing that, folks, unless there was something at least half worthwhile in this series. I mean, unlike the 80s cartoon, this Jemm might not be truly outrageous, but it was at least worth the price of a double cheeseburger.
Andy's Read Pile Rating: 2.75 out of 4
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Hanako Mori Profile
“I want to be the protector. No. I NEED to be the protector this time“
TW: Child Abuse
Name: Hanako Mori
Nicknames: Ko, Hana
Blood Status: Pure Blood
Birthday: May 21, 1973
Wand: Rowan wood with a dragon heartstring core, 12 1/2 inches, and supple flexibility
Personality: Hanako has most of the basic Hufflepuff traits. She’s extremely loyal to the point it can become clingy. She’s patient with those who are struggling and works hard because she always feels like she has something to prove. She’s observant and keeps an eye out for things others may not notice. She keeps in most of he negative emotions. After a while of bottling it all up, she self-destructs and becomes a safety hazard to anything and anyone around her. The only exception to keeping in he negative emotions, is if someone is very rude to her or someone she cares about. She will not hesitate to destroy them, with her words or physically. She can also come off as sarcastic sometimes
Backstory: Hanako was born in Osaka, Japan during a summer trip. Her family had been living in the UK for 5 years before that. She had an older brother name Jun’ichiro whose name was changed to Jacob when he moved to the UK with their parents. They have a 5 year age gap, but they still love each other very much. Hanako would hear about Jacob’s Hogwarts stories and would get so excited to go there herself. Her parents were strict when it came to preventing them from using any magic. But when she performed wandless magic, she received lots of praise from them. From then on, she felt as if she needed to do great things to earn praise. She was only 7 when she found out that Jacob disappeared. Her parents began fighting after that. When she was 8, her parents divorced, leading her to believe that all love was temporary. Her parents got shared custody over her so she would between her father’s house and her mother and stepfather’s estate. Her stepfather had lost his wife and child 4 years before his remarriage. So he though of Hanako as a weak replacement, someone who wasn’t as good as his late son. He used her talents and hobbies to make her life miserable. He would hold banquets at his estate and make Hanako perform long and complicated piano pieces for his guests, make her read until she passed out, and make her do chores that her obviously too hard for her to handle alone. If Hanako didn’t meet his expectations or showed any signs of resistance, her stepfather would make her go without food for a few days or make her sleep outside when it rained. Other times he harm her with his own two hands. Her biological parents both developed depression after the divorce. She would have to take care of her mother when she was at home and couldn’t get out of bed. But, it was better with her father. He didn’t have the same level of severity as Hanako’s mother had. He would do his best for his daughter and teach her various things like how to be creative and kind
Father - Ryu Mori
Ryu works at the Ministry in the International Magical Cooperation Department. He was born in the populated parts of Japan in a family that’s the wizard equivalent of a Japanese yakuza. He went to Mahoutokoro and showed great magic abilities. After graduating, he participated in his family’s ‘business’ before meeting his future wife and graduating
Mother - Aiko Watanabe
Aiko works as a Healer in St. Mungo’s Hospital. She was born a twin in the more rural areas of Japan. She went to Mahoutokoro and had above average magical abilities. She decided to go into healing because she was more passionate about that. She met her future husband when she was 25. They got married, had a son, and moved to the UK when he turned 5
Brother - Jun’ichiro “Jacob” Mori
Jacob was born back when his parents still lived in Japan. He grew up with the same strict rules his parents enforced when Hanako came into the world. Back when he was still young, his father was distant. He became a powerful wizard, but mysteriously disappeared before he could graduate Hogwarts
Stepfather - Shin Watanabe
A horrible and abusive stepfather who hides the fact he abuses his stepdaughter from his new wife. But, underneath his many, many hard and tough layers, is a very sad man who thinks that no matter who comes into his life will ever replace or make him as happy as his late wife and son did
Pet Toad - Mo
A common toad that Hanako got before her 1st year at Hogwarts that she does not know the gender of. She talks to Mo when she has no one to talk to
Weight: Below Average
Physique: Slender with some muscles
Scars: Has scars on her arms, stomach, and legs. Many have faded, but some are still visible. She bruises easily and tends to use her clothes or magic to cover them up based on the outfit she’s wearing
Birthmark: She has a birthmark on her lower back that vaguely looks like a flower. She plans on getting a tattoo in the future that will make it look like an actual flower
Accessories: She has 2 helix piercings on both her ears, a standard lobe piercing on both her ears, and and upper lobe piercing on her right ear. She always seems to have at least 2 hair ties on her at any given moment. When she isn’t wearing her uniform, she tries to keep a small satchel for things that she might need throughout the day. She also occasionally wears a sakura hairpin, which is a family heirloom
Electives: Divination, Arithmancy, and Care of Magical Creatures
Extra Circulars: Quidditch (Beater)
Favorite Classes: Astronomy and Arithmancy
Least Favorite Class: History of Magic
Animagus Form: Raven
Patronus: Black Swan
Patronus Memory: The time when her entire family went to watch fireworks at a festival in Japan
Boggart: A gaunt version of herself that is covered from head to toe in blood
Amortentia: If someone were to fancy Hanako, Amortentia would smell like sakura blossoms, other floral smells, sugar, and shortbread cookies
Likes: Cakes, Pastries, Candies, Flowers, Ripped Jeans, Styling Her Hair, Art & Music, Mochi & Other Japanese Snacks, Stargazing, Being With Her Father, ‘Talking’ To Mo, and Reading With A Cup Of Tea, Coffee, Or Hot Chocolate
Dislikes: Water With A Lemon/Lime In It, Being Pushed Around In Crowds, Being Sick, Mystery Books, People Slandering Her Brother
Strengths: She gets gut feelings that are 85% right, she’s a fast runner, her intelligence is above average compared to other students
Weaknesses: Her emotions control her at times, she can get really indecisive, she goes into her own little world at times and will ignore almost everyone and it gets hard to pull her out of it
Hobbies: On her free time, she likes to play the piano, violin, and koto (a traditional Japanese instrument). Other times she likes to doodle and sketch, sometimes she’ll draw people, but she mainly draws inanimate objects. She also likes to cook as a way to treat herself. She also finds herself singing random songs she’s heard or just humming random tunes. At night, she likes to stargaze
“I swear, if you do not SHUT THE FUCK UP, I will shove this bat UP YOUR ASS“
“I will find him. . . Even if it kills me!”
“My mind is more complex and terrifying than you can ever imagine”
“My family shouldn’t define who I am, but if you even go as for as to think about slandering my brother’s name, I will personally see to it that it will be the last thing you do”
“Would you like to lay in the grass and stare at the sky for a few hours?“
“I’m sorry for being an idiot!”
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Bakusquad + “Why are you awake” Part Two
PART ONE HERE
So here’s part two! Fun fact, the song Jirou plays you in her part is actually a song I wrote! I didn’t include any of the lyrics though because its lowkey really cheesy :/
I hope you like this! This one is for Sero, Mina, and Jirou.
Warnings: insomnia, depression kinda
- Sero is very much a hypocrite when it comes to getting enough sleep
- He’s constantly up at all hours, even sending you random texts if he can’t sleep
- But when you aren’t going to bed at a normal time?
- He’s so sad
- He looks like you kicked his puppy and then him in rapid succession.
- It’s crazy because he seems to just instinctively know when you’re awake
- Like he bolts up in his bed all, “they ain’t in bed. I’m abt to beat some ass.”
- He’s never sure if he’s right though, so he texts you a meme he made specifically for you being up too late
- It’s probably really cheesy and outdated, but the effort is there
- If you respond to it (because you will) he knocks on the wall between your dorms and talks to you
- Often, you both just stay up like that
Sero’s body is awake before his mind, moving him to sit up in bed before he can think. He was having a really intense dream; something about talking mice. He didn’t mind it, but he woke up as if he’d had a nightmare.
Faintly, from the wall beside him, he can hear low music playing, but he can’t make out what song it is. It’s coming from your room, though, so he’s concerned.
The sky outside is dark, clouds drifting across his windowed view of the moon. It must be pretty late; all the noise is gone, leaving nothing but static air, and the music. He leans over his bed to look at the time on his phone. It’s around 2 am. The song you’re playing ends, and he recognizes the next one. It’s on your sad playlist.
He sends you the meme, as well as an invitation for a hug as soon as it’s morning. You respond almost instantly, assuring him that you’re fine, you just couldn’t sleep. But he knows you better than that.
Knocking on the wall between you, he hears the music stop suddenly. He calls out to your wall.
“Mi amor? What’s keeping you awake?” He’s met with silence for a moment before your shaky voice responds.
“I’m okay. I just kinda got hit with some sad, y’know?” He does know. He knows that this happens sometimes. It happens to him, too. But he hates hearing your voice sound so lost. You almost sound hopeless, and he can’t bear it.
“I understand.” He places his hand up to the wall, wishing he could hold you. Unfortunately, you had both been told off by Iida for sleeping in each other’s rooms more than enough times lately, so he couldn’t just go see you. He opts instead for hugging a stuffed giraffe you had gotten him after the Sports Festival.
“Do you want me to distract you, or do you want to talk about it?” He asks, stroking the giraffe’s head as if it’s your hair, not knowing that on the other side of the wall, you’re holding a stuffed lion the same way.
“Distract me?” Your voice comes out only just loud enough for him to hear you, but he understands. He begins to tell you a story. He’s told it before. It’s about a great hero, one who fights crime valiantly, and his partner, also a fantastic hero. He ad-libs parts of it, making pretend villains say silly slogans, and recounting how the heroes save the day.
As he reaches the end, he hears you giggle a bit. “Oh? Did it work? Are you smiling over there, my sweet?” He calls to you, a teasing lilt to his voice.
“A little bit.” You respond, playing with your stuffed animal. “If you keep talking, maybe I’ll even smile more.”
He laughs, eyes bleary with sleep, but happy to talk to you the whole night.
- Honestly, she’s no better than you about staying awake
- She tries to sleep, but her thoughts are always racing
- Sometimes it’s thoughts of you, sometimes of new things she wants to try in training, or things she wants to see if she can convince her friends to do
- But she wants you to get adequate rest, even if it’s hard for her to do the same
- She used to get told off for sneaking to your room every night, but then Momo and Iida saw how much better you were performing in school on the days after she’d been there, and they started letting it slide
- It’s nicer for her, too, because she has someone to ramble to as the two of you fall asleep
Mina skipped down the hallway toward your room. It was a bit past midnight, and usually, you would be asleep by this time. It was well past lights out, and classes had run long that day, not to mention the endless exams that were happening at UA right now. So when she reached your door, she was surprised to find you watching a movie on your phone instead of snoring.
“Hey bug! Why are you still up, don’t you know what time it is?” She says, throwing a grin your way as she puts her blanket down next to you.
You shrug, yawning. “I could ask you the same thing, love.” She pouts at that, tossing her arm around your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your temple.
She watches you watching your show for a few minutes before saying anything. It looks good, she supposes, but she has a better idea of what to watch. “Scoot over.” She pushes you lightly, giggling as you scrunch to the side to give her more room. “Do you wanna watch something with me?” She asks, holding up her phone.
You look at her for a moment. “That is what we are currently doing, is it not?” You hold up your phone in return, showing her the paused screen.
“But I have a better movie!” She insists, unlocking her screen and shoving it above yours so that you can see her pick. She’s right, it is a better movie. You guys have watched the entire Studio Ghibli filmography, but even you know that her favorite, “When Marnie was There,” is the better option at this particular moment.
You toss your phone to the side, pulling her in to lay next to you. “Fair enough, bubs, I guess yours is better.” You feign reluctance, watching her excitedly press play and tuck the blanket in around the both of you. Her arm curls tighter around your shoulders, and she giggles as the opening credits start.
“Hey Minari?” You use her favorite nickname, looking at her through hooded, sleepy eyes. She hums in response. “Why is this one your favorite?”
Hearing the question, she pauses the movie, turning to look right at you. She’s quiet for a moment, thinking about her answer. “I guess because they remind me of us! Like I’m Marnie, and you’re Anna, and we’re having this great adventure together!” You feel your face heat at her words, thinking about the movie more critically now. Mina continues, “It’s like…” she pauses, finding the right words. “Like Anna is learning how her friendship with Marnie can make her feel more right, as a person. And I feel like that about you!”
You’re tearing up now, unsure how to respond. Mina is so many things, and being with you is that important to her? It’s a new feeling, but certainly a welcome one. You pull her down, giving her a kiss. And then another kiss. And one on her nose.
“Press play, Mina.”
- Lol u think she sleeps?
- She does, but not at night
- Were it not for classes, Jirou would be essentially nocturnal
- So you try to remind her to go to sleep
- Sometimes you’ll walk past her dorm at night, and you hear her guitar, softly playing her favorite songs
- Before you got together, sometimes you would sit outside her door and listen to her play
- Not in a creepy way, there’s just a little common area right outside her room and you like took a book there, you weren’t like ooh it’s late i think i’ll sit outside someone’s room and listen to them
- You aren’t Mineta.
- But anyway
- Now that you are together, Jirou thinks it’s really sweet that you listen to her play
- Sometimes she leaves her door cracked open so you can come in
It’s 4 o’clock in the morning, and the light is on in Jirou’s room. You had come out to go to the bathroom, but you noticed her guitar, and decided to stay. The soft strumming is pretty, and you’re glad to be one of the few people allowed to hear it.
Opening Jirou’s door just a bit more, you nod toward her desk chair in a silent question. She nods, so you go sit down.
She’s playing a song you don’t recognize, and the lyrics are sad. Even still, it’s beautiful, and your eyes seem to naturally close, taking in the melody of her voice. She used to tell you her voice wasn’t anything special, but she seems content now to let you listen.
The guitar resonates with the last few chords, and the ending note is held for three beats. When she’s finished, Jirou opens her eyes and looks at you, waiting for your thoughts.
“It was beautiful. Did you write that?” You ask her, your hands fidgeting with the urge to hold her own. She nods, but doesn’t say anything.
You don’t acknowledge the sad theme of the song. She’s told you before that sometimes sad songs are easier than happy ones. That the melody is clearer. You don’t mind. All her songs are beautiful, and they reflect her in them, and isn’t that what makes a piece of art?
“I have another one, if you’d like to hear it?” She looks nervous; something you never see on her.
“I’d love to!” Your exclamation seems to snap her out of the anxiety in her eyes, which narrow a little.
“Just…” She starts, looking away from you to adjust the capo on her instrument. “Don’t freak out, okay?”
Confused, you nod, and she starts playing.
The song starts out with a few chords repeating in a loop, and then she begins to sing. The lyrics are confusing to you at first, and you still aren’t sure why she’s told you not to freak out. But then she gets to the chorus, and it begins to make more sense.
Lyrics, in essence, are a poem, and this one is a love poem. Her thoughts, written out, are so sweet and loving, that you’re sure you don’t know what to think. She sings elegantly, like someone who’s never known how to dance, and yet is waltzing perfectly across a shining floor.
She finishes the song with a declaration of loyalty, and you realize your eyes are watering. She looks at you, waiting for your thoughts.
You say nothing. You don’t know how to say anything, so you stand, cross to her, and pull her into a hug. She’s not usually one for physical touch, but she holds you tightly.
“It’s about me, right?” You laugh, leaving a kiss on her calloused fingers. She rolls her eyes.
She smiles at you, pulling you to lay on her bed as she puts her guitar in its case, taking the capo off the strings. “You should sleep. It’s like, morning now.”
“You should too.” You retort, still holding her hand.
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EPISODE 32: A MAJOR OCCURANCE
The sound of spooky intro music plays and fades out. As the microphone clicks on, faint sounds of water and traffic can be heard in the background.
JADE: Hello cryptwizzlers, cryptrackers, but never cryptormentors because we’re all friends here. Welcome to a very special episode of Cryptwins in which we are not actually researching a cryptid. But! Before you shut this off and call us hacks, we are instead researching the recent disappearance of social media fitness guru; Edison Major.
More spooky music plays. There is also the sound of fingers tapping a rhythm. It's typical Joel, unable to contain his energy as he taps the dashboard in time with their intro music.
JOEL: Weeeeeeeell...Maybe we are hacks. —a pause as he laughs— Nah, just kidding. This is the real deal. I'm not sure you're ready for this. This is some spooky, and excuse my French, spooky shit. Tell us more about this Major disappearance? —another laugh— Get it?
JADE: [A short laugh-sigh is let out at Joel’s joke.] Okay, before we begin, two things. One, get ready for the barrage of major and minor jokes, courtesy of Joel here.
JOEL: Got a whole list, be ready!
He lets Jade finish, but listeners can still hear the tapping sound while she speaks.
JADE: Secondly, we’re still on the road here, so if the audio is bad or choppy... deal with it? —another small laugh— Anyyyyway. Spooky is right. This all began in September of last year, when @majored posted a picture of himself in a dark basement wearing a weird costume and then immediately went off the grid. And, you know, I’m all for a social media cleanse, people do it all the time. Buuut, what really brought this to our attention was a month later, on Halloween Eve of all nights, when a video popped up of him getting his ass kicked by someone in a Kakashi Hatake costume.
JOEL: Now, I know y'all are asking yourselves "Isn't he a fitness guru? Why was some weeb kickin' his ass?" And to that I say hey! Some weebs are strong, some are Super Saiyan, and others are Kakashi Hatake, the most talented ninja in Konohagukure.
JADE: lets out a laughing wheeze.
JOEL: We don't endorse fighting here. But I digress —a laugh— back on topic. So this guy just up and disappears out of nowhere? And there's not a peep of him until we see Kakashi givin’ him the business. What does this all mean?
JADE: Okay, so, let’s get the full story. @majored goes off the grid, comes back to get his ass kicked by a Naruto character, disappears again, comes back to spit on someone and call them a see you next Tuesday, and then disappears again. And he hasn’t come back online. So what’s up with that? Well... we did a little digging.
Another spooky noise plays over the sound of Jade organizing a stack of papers.
JOEL: Daaaaaaang. I’d say those are some fightin' words, especially from someone who keeps pulling a vanishing act, don’t ya think?
JADE: They really are! I mean, he is from New Zealand, but even so, I think you don’t use that word unless you want to attract some attention. -She clicks her tongue as she gets back on topic- The video was originally posted the night before Halloween of last year, by @ime.are on Twitter. Obviously they got a lot of hate and questions after posting this, but all of them were left unanswered. The only person in the video that was tagged was Major, but upon further examination, this Ime seems to follow and have pictures with someone who happened to be dressed as Kakashi that same night, which has led many to speculate that these ninjas are the same person.
JOEL: So we all know Halloween's a spooooky season. Perfect for parties and all that jazz. But all those costumes make it a perfect time for disguises. Was that even the real Major? Was the person who spit the real Major? Who is this Ime and how do they fit into the story? And who— a pause for dramatic effect and muffled laughter as he tries to stay serious— is this mystery ninja? Tell us more!
JADE: Alright, alright. So this mystery ninja goes by Abel, or @_kllledbycain on the Gram. At first glance, they look pretty much like every other TikTok e-boy; black and white photos, pet snake, the insinuation that they’re dead, whole nine yards.
JOEL: snorts when Jade announces their handle, and again at her eboy comment, wheezing. It's true, it's true!
JADE: And this stuff is so common right now, so nothing really raises any eyebrows, right? Right? Well, tell me, why would a Tik Tok goth go around beating the crap out of a random influencer? Stay tuned for the theory. First, we’re gonna take a step back and look at the whole situation, because, of course, it doesn’t end there.
JOEL: Ohhhh snap! I'm on the edge of my seat, and I bet our listeners are too.
JADE: [clears her throat] So if we go back to the original poster of the video, @ime.are, and we take a look at their Insta, who is on it but... @devinitely? Okay, so @devinitely is in the same place as @majored, clearly, and, for anyone that doesn’t know, she’s been doing a bunch of collabs with @loganvance. This places not one, not two, but three influencers all together in this place where weebs are running around assaulting people.
JOEL: Okay. Okay, I need to know! Where are they? What's bringing all these influencers together? Are @devinitely and @loganvance part of something much more sinister than it seems? [He makes a funny face at Jade and wiggles his fingers, before dropping his voice to a stage-whisper.] Is it some kind of twisted influencer cult?
JADE: Shhhh, Joel, spoilers.
JOEL: [He laughs.] Sorry, sorry!
JADE: [muffled laughter over the sound of more papers rustling.] So, any skeptics out there might say, oh, well, this Ime Are is just a lucky person who happens to be in the presence of more than one social media personality. However, Devin follows the weeb that may or may not have kicked Major's ass. And, according to a cast photo of Rocky Horror, on her boyfriend's Instagram, both the weeb in question and the hot man that tore the two apart were part of the cast. This would be a great time to mention that a link to the video is in the description, as are all the pictures from social media that I'm referencing.
JOEL: [to Jade but loud enough for the mic to pick it up at regular volume] Oh snap, you got everything together in a link? Like, I could click the link to check it out right now? — A pause as he does just that.— Woah, cryptwizzlers, she's not kidding. Click the link in bio, you won't be disappointed. Okay, Jade...hear me out. Given that it was Halloween, the night of nights. Do you think that...maybe it was all an elaborate event? Was it staged? Is any of this real?
JADE: Oh, my dear brother, always the skeptic. Don’t you think that it’s a bit much for him to stop posting entirely in order to get publicity? And we mustn’t forget the spitting on someone in South Dakota, that’s not exactly his brand. Unless he’s trying out something like Taylor Swift and Reputation but... I digress. No, I don’t think any of this is staged, and I’ll tell you why. Let’s go back to the weird cow print basement post. You know who also happened to post something about some cowboy party? Oh, um, Devin’s boyfriend? A picture of him, Devin, and Logan? Which... puts them and Major in the same place on the night that he disappeared.
JOEL: Not a skeptic! Just trying to get all these questions answered. —A laugh— You're right, that's 180 from the online presence he used to have. All theories aside, —a pause— I'd love to go to a cowboy party. Get me a glow-in-the-dark cowboy hat. You know they make 'em. —He laughs again, mouthing 'what?' to Jade.—
JADE: Oh, def. We're getting matching hats. Check out our merch in a few weeks —she laughs— Glow in the dark mothman themed cowboy hats, talk about a niche.
JOEL: Snap, we have to do that now, 'cause I want one real bad. But okay, back on track. This cowboy party. The origin of this theory, yeah? Oh snap...what were those three doing in the same place as Major? And all in cow print too? That's....majorly suspicious! [He trails off into laughter, his voice doing that wheezy thing when someone's trying to finish their sentence before cracking up. Recovering, he adds the following.] Wait, wait, wait. What about—
JADE: Yes, yes, yes. —she cuts Joel off as though he's finished his sentence, chuckling at his joke— Patience, my dear twin, we will get there. —the smile is evident in her voice—
JOEL: I feel like somehow, I ended up as your Padawan for this episode. — he laughs—
JADE: You heard it here, I'm absolutely schooling Joel this episode. — she laughs— First, we're going to backtrack all the way to the original poster again. You know we snooped their whole page, and they're pretty regularly posting pictures with this person, @rengaaay, who isn't an influencer but she makes some of those sick ass roller skating videos... this isn't sus, just cool, link in the description. —a slight pause as she tries to get back to her train of thought— Anyway, what is sus is that she tags two people in her photos all the time... But no joke guys check out their Insta profiles they look different in like every other picture. Which, uh, could just be editing but also could be something.... more sinister? Hold onto that thought.
JOEL: That's such a good handle, dang! Better than @lumberjoel, honestly. I have to say I'm jelly. We should get branded rollerskates, maybe @rengaaay can advertise for us if we ship them. JK...unless? —more laughter as he waits for Jade to get back on the train and pulls up the profiles in question to take a look for himself— Huh...is it editing? Are they masters of disguise? Makeup professionals? —He starts to say something else but is pretty sure he's figured out where Jade's going with this.— What could be more sinister than human chameleons?
JADE: [The sound of papers shuffling can be heard] Oh, yeah, so, it's weird but I think every time the siblings are in a pic together they look more like each other? I dunno if this really makes sense but seriously dudes check the post with this episode because it has a bunch of photos side by side and... yeah. You pull a photo of them by themself and it's like okay, I know what this dude looks like and then you put them side by side and... I dunno, makeup? Contacts? Cloning, mayhaps? And, just so that I'm not just holding on to one thing too much... check their post from August 12th, linked below. Their brother... doesn't have a shadow. Why would you edit that out of a photo? No way are they going that hard to be memelords.
JOEL: Okay, let me look at this. Wha— That's weird as hell. How much hair dye do these two use? Hm. Could be clones? —snaps his fingers—Definitely clones. —he snorts loudly, laughing before clearing his throat— Ahem, uh. No shadow? That's dedication! I dunno, maybe it's some new challenge for the 'gram. Oh...but wait. I found a video. Look, Jade. No shadow. In a video. What the—
JADE: A video, guys. —A moment of muffled laughter before her mic cuts out, but the sound of it clicking on again is followed almost immediately— This is a big family, guys, and a big weird one because their other brother @sleepyfinch... Okay, wait, he himself is pretty normal, super cute, shout out, but guys, ghouls, you know who he has tagged in a recent post? Yet another influencer. Except this one is from Italy? @gaborealis; essentially, he’s a medium, so if you didn’t believe that the supernatural were at play beforehand... buckle up.
JOEL: Wait, wait, I'm still on the video thing. Who has time to edit a video? —his voice cracks when he says video and he covers his laughter as he focuses—
JADE: [wheezing] Shut up —there is no malice in her voice, and she’s laughing too.—
JOEL: So weird, I love it. Oh snap— the @gaborealis? It's time to get ghosty! —echoes "ghosty" and hums the Cha Cha Slide tune for a couple seconds— Okay, so wait. Does this mean everyone's favorite medium is also in the same place as...three? Three other influencers and this weird family of....maybe shapeshifters? No? Too crazy a theory?
JADE: You know what they say, cryptoddlers; no theory is too crazy. Everything Einstein came up with? Theory.
JOEL: Bringing Einstein into it, huh?
JADE: Oh you know it. —a snort— Anyway, according to Devin’s boyfriend’s Instagram, it doesn’t end there. @spencerkeahi, a youtuber and disability rights advocate who comes from Hawaii is also there with that gaggle. Shout out to @elidrising for tagging people and location. So what are these influencers from all corners of the globe gathering together for? Well, let’s take a look at the original poster again. You go on their Twitter, and a few months back it’s all just videos of people... fighting? In some sort of underground place. Mayhaps... the same creepy basement that Major posted his last photo? —a small gasp, as though she’s surprised by this— No, that must be a coincidence... or is it?
Another spooky sound plays
JOEL: @elidrising is the man, dang! Are you tellin' me there's a...—he lowers his voice to a whisper— secret influencers-only Fight Club? I wouldn't put it past @devinitely TBH. Honestly, I'd join one...even though I guess I've broken the first rule but talking about it, huh? Actually— Jay, do you think we'd even be allowed to join? Are podcasters influencers? Poll in my story right now, let us know what y'all think.
JADE: Right now? Joel, this isn’t going up for another week, at least. —She’s obviously trying to sound less amused than she’s coming off— Once we get the blue check we’re influencers, so we’ve got a few million followers to go, I think.
JOEL: Yeah, right now! They'll hear that when the episode goes up and respond in real ti— Oh, no. You're right. Oops. No poll in my story, y'all. False alarm. Blue check, huh? You heard it here, cryptwizzlers, we're gonna get that blue check. Tell your friends, tell your family. Heck, tell that cute barista at your coffee shop to listen to our podcast! We might just do a giveaway when we get that lil' blue swoosh.
JADE: [clears her throat.] You know what’s a great way to get us that blue check, though?
A different, light sort of spooky music begins playing in the background, meaning that it’s time for the ad break
JOEL: Take it away!
JADE: Checking out a little app called Creature Comforts. Alright guys, not that this show isn’t one hundred percent real as it is, but for real, I love this app. A dating sim that features everyone’s favorite... for lack of a better term, monsters. Did you watch the Shape of Water and go, “Damn, I’d tap that”? Do you want to snuggle with a Sasquatch? Do you just wish you could find yourself a GF with more eyes? Well, have we got the app for you. Creature Comforts lets you do all this and more. A choose-your-own-adventure game where you can smooch beasts, marry Mothman, and ignore the outside world. It’s seriously all I want. And, if you enter the code cryptwins— that’s the name of the podcast you’re listening to, no capital letters, when you download the app, then it’s only 99 cents to play without ads. Which, trust me ghouls, is worth it. I don’t want anything interrupting my cut scene with the most stunning eyes in West Virginia.
JOEL: Don't forget that scuba diving date with Nessie! Or, or...that half-day hike with Bigfoot. —he's laughing again smh— There's a reason Jade does the ad reads and not me. But, I can tell you that Mothman is sure to sweep you off your feet. And it's not just because he can fly.
JADE: It’s the —a pause for finger snapping— alliteration for me. But that’s Creature Comforts, exactly how you think you’d spell it, don’t ask us ‘cause we’re dyslexic, and cryptwins, like the name of this podcast. Tweet us @cryptwins to let us know how far along you are, who you’re pursuing, and what mysteries you unlock about their backstories. Now... I think it’s time for a timeline, just to get us sorted out, what do you think, Joel?
JOEL: Personally, I'm still tryin' to land a date with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I guess we'll see what happens. Aw heck yeah! Give us a timeline, give us the dirt. — a laugh — Give the people what they want!
JADE: Okay — the shuffling of paper is heard once more — We start in September: @majored goes off the grid after posting a creepy picture of himself in a weird outfit in a spooky basement. This is around the same time that the Scarlet Surfer was in NYC for fashion week, which @majored accompanied him to, meaning that it isn’t entirely out of the question for him to still be in New York. Also on social media at this time is @devinitely and @loganvance also both is cowboy outfits, though the creepy basement is absent from both of them.
JOEL: I guess September isn't too early for weird Halloween stuff to start? What with the spooky basement and everything. Right? And everyone loves a cowboy moment— or have cowboys become the new clown? I heard there was a clown renaissance and people like them now? I don't really know where we stand on the whole clown— what?
JADE: I see our next hot debate. Cowboys: Hot or not? Personally, I liked cow print, but I can see cowboys going out soon. Once they reach killer clown status is when it’ll be ideal for me.
JOEL: Personally, I vote hot. And uhhh, not to kinkshame you Jay, but killer clowns are a no from me.
JADE: [tsks] Kinkshamed, by my own brother no less.
JOEL: [a loud laugh] You know I'm just kidding. No kinkshaking, ya heard? I'd literally let the Jersey Devil step on me so. To each their own.
JADE: [snorting] Um, gross.
JADE: Now to October: There is a production of Rocky Horror, a cast photo is uploaded to @elidrising, the account of @devinitely’s boyfriend. This places not only @devinitely and @loganvance in Montauk, but it also places @crispyboiz and @_kllledbycain in Montauk too. These are two of the people that are suspected to belong in the video by @ime.are, in which (suspected) @_kllledbycain, dressed as Kakashi Hatake attacked @majored, only to be torn apart by good citizen @crispyboiz. This video is the first that we’ve seen of @majored since his last post, and he offers nothing in response to it.
JOEL: Okay. Okay. Now, you know I love a good shadow-cast of Rocky Horror. I've always wanted to play Frank. I would rock that part. Am I wrong? —he laughs— But okay, that's - count 'em - three influencers in one place? If @elidrising is there, we can assume @devinitely is too because she was in the same location as, uh, whatshername? Logan? And that's the same location as @ime.are. Who took the video of Kakashi kicking @majored's ass. @_kllledbycain— more like killedbyKakashi, eh? Seriously why are all these people together?
JOEL: [as an afterthought] It's gotta be a cult.
JADE: November to December: Nothing happens with @majored, @ime.are also offers nothing except for quote unquote “#teamkakashi”, which is funny because they never tagged Kakashi, but anyways. Upon deeper inspection, there are videos on their Twitter from last May, of people in a fighting ring. And then people fighting on a lake? But the fighting ring looks super dangerous and I dunno, like you said, cult-y? Fight-club-y? Call it what you will. In any case, we are led to believe that this fighting has been going on for some time in the background.
JOEL: Okay, come on. That’s definitely a cult. I’ve seen the movie, can confirm. — he groans— Literally what is an Italian astrologer doing there? Wait, wait, wait. Montauk? You said Montauk. Montauk, as in on Long Island. As in like —he drops his voice to a stage-whisper— the part of Long Island that peeps believe to be the site of a government cover-up involving kidnapping, mind control, and time travel? The part that inspired Stranger Things? That Montauk? Snap. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together sooner. Jade, Jade. What if this is, I don’t know, like, MKUltra 2.0?
JADE: Yes, yes that Montauk, I’m glad you picked up on that. Look, I’m not saying that it’s an influencer’s-only thing, but I am saying that some might be in the area, and maybe involved. At the same time throughout all of this, we have a culmination of more influencers seeming to know this network of people. @gaborealis, an Italian astrologer, is seen in pictures of @sleepyfinch, who was also in the production of Rocky Horror, and has pictures with @crispyboiz and, god, this name is a freaking nightmare, @_kllledbycain. Not to mention this guy has many pictures of weird… family members? Who sometimes look alike? Okay, but seriously, @kodakola and @sonofpeter, how is your hair not straw at this point? Is it wigs? I think my hair would simply fall out. And y’all using Insta filters or what, cause… I’m not gonna get into it, let’s keep going.
JOEL: Maybe they're makeup vloggers or something. Gotta change up the look for views, right? Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and uhhhh, smash that follow button— or whatever YouTubers say. —he laughs— Okay but seriously, yeah. @sonofpeter, @kodakola, whatever you two are doing to your hair, let me know because I'm trying to bleach my hair and dye it bright purple without it falling out. And since we're doing it at our next stop, well, your advice will probably be too late. But still, what are your secrets? Is it...clones?
JADE: Joel! —she’s laughing again.— Timeline and then theories. —she clears her throat— After that long silence, a Tweet emerges. January 8th. "Can’t believe @majored SPAT on me and called me a C-Blank-Blank-T when he checked into @SDFamilyMotel last night”. This places Major across the country from where we believed him to be, but acting so strangely that one must wonder… was that really him? Or was it someone that just looked like him? Or was it a cry for help? Nothing’s been heard since from @majored, which I guess… leads us to our theories. —a pause— You were saying… clones, Joel?
JOEL: Sheeeeesh, this is not @majored's year. I gotta say, this sounds totally different from the vibe that this guy used to put out on his social media. Obviously Instagram is fake blah blah blah, you know the spiel, but like. Damn. He spit on them? —a pause as he considers what his sibling has said— You know....I think that's a really good point. Was that even the real him? Will the real Ed Major please stand up?
JADE: I know. It just seems out of character, and terrible for a reputation, but it also would make sense if... One, this is a fake @majored, meant to stir up controversy before he goes underground again. And with an action like spitting on someone and calling them a name like that? Who cares what the dude does after that? Unfollowed, cancelled, whatever. And why would this guy want to go underground, well, I'm glad you're so interested. Well, the official Cryptwins theory is that maybe... just maybe, the crazy, government cover-up Montauk that we all know and love isn't that far from truth. We see that they have means of covering up shadows —she lets out a laugh— and people whose faces just change? And who else is there, @spencerkeahi, someone who explains rehabilitation, maybe someone who has experience helping people get used to being a clone? @ime.are, a nurse who enjoys taking videos of people fighting? It all adds up, people!
JOEL: Yeah, seriously. With the real @majored MIA, there would be no one to combat the backlash from this supposed...clone? Imposter? And maybe that’s what they want. Looks like Montauk isn’t the ideal vacation spot anymore, huh? Even if their seaside cabins are super chill and homey. But I digress. Something sinister is going on. Something bigger than we can even imagine. A secret underground facility that’s...cloning influencers? Training them? Your guess is as good as mine. And that’s why we’re on this road trip, isn’t that right Jade? To get some answers?
JADE: Exactly. —it sounds as though she is holding back a laugh or a cough.— Cross country roadtrip in which we explore different topics like this one, and on the way, we'll document our progress and any spooky encounters. Check out our insta, @cryptwins to get all the updates, and consider hitting us up on Patreon if you want us to be able to afford the gas to get all the way to the east coast.
JOEL: I’ll be posting behind the scenes content in the “ROADTRIP” highlight on my Insta throughout the trip so be sure to check my stories. You might get lucky and find some special codes for Creature Comforts but, hey. You didn’t hear it from me. -he laughs and there’s the distinct sound of a bag of chips being opened- What Jade meant to say is gas and snack money. So yeah, go go go! Check out the Patreon! We might even do a giveaway at the end of our trip, get you guys some cool souvenirs we pick up on our travels. Not a bad idea, eh?
JADE: Joel, my ears are literally bleeding right now. Thanks. Anyway, our second theory will also be exclusive to our Patrons, so be sure to get the full video there. Cryptwins... out...
Her voice fades out and the music from the beginning fades in, takes over, and plays until the end of the track.
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What I Thought About The Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Salutations to you, random people on the internet who most likely won't read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!
Gonna be honest, I didn't think The Falcon and the Winter Soldier needed to be a full-length TV series. I mean, if Spider-Man can discover that he didn't have to replace Iron Man in a two-hour and nine-minute long movie, then the Falcon can learn he can't replace Steve Rogers in the same amount of time, right? I was excited, don't get me wrong, but I didn't know how they can fit a plot for a movie into a six-hour-long series. Unlike WandaVision, which needed to be a TV show to get those TV homages right for each episode, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier didn’t sound like something that would honestly work better as a film. But, once it started airing, and my excitement increased each week, I can positively say that it would not have worked as successfully if it wasn't a TV series.
Unfortunately, I'll have to get into spoilers to explain why, but trust me when I say that if you haven't checked it out yet, you definitely should. Because I'm about to dive in (or fly in) as I explain why The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is easily in the top tier MCU projects.
WHAT I LIKE
Sam Wilson: If WandaVision was about developing Wanda, then The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is about developing Sam. He might share the spotlight with Bucky, but this is so clearly Sam's story. It's his journey of becoming the new Captain America that gets more of a focus, and it is one of the best aspects of the series. And as I said, it's similar to Spider-Man's journey in Spider-Man: Far From Home. Sure, this time, it's more about stepping up to the mantle, but both Sam and Peter have to learn how to be their own hero rather than replace the one left behind. In Sam's case, it's more than just being the new Captain America, but also being the black Captain America. I'll talk more about the implications of that later, but for now, all I'll say is that it was so engaging seeing Sam accept his role. Plus, even though Sam tries to carry Steve's title, that doesn't mean he's Steve Rogers 2.0. He has his own ardor and personality as Captain America, on top of still representing the aspects of what that title entails. Partial credit for that goes to Anthony Mackie, who does a phenomenal job of portraying a man who's inspirational and charming in all forms of hell. I'd salute him as much as I'd want to have a beer with him...except not really because I refuse to touch a single drop of alcohol. But Sam Wilson would make me consider it! Because he's that good of a character.
Bucky Barnes: Much like Vision in WandaVision, Bucky takes the sidelines as Sam acts as the main face of the series. Unlike Vision, however, Bucky's story seems more like its own thing rather than something that's connected with his co-star. In a way, it's better, but it also seems worse. Because without having it be locked with Sam's story, Bucky's is still compelling as it develops him further in his own way. His journey may not be as engaging as Sam's, but it's still entertaining enough to watch his own narrative get continued in small spurts. Although, the fact that Bucky's story has little to do with Sam's does have the unfortunate side-effect that he doesn't need to be there. His inclusion is very much welcomed, but I feel like Bucky dealing with his own guilt and trauma as the Winter Soldier could be something that can fill up its own series rather than half of one. That being said, Bucky absolutely needs to be in this show. The emotional turmoil that Sabastian Stan portrays so well hits hard, and his dry humor works for some comedic highlights. Bucky's half of the story might be unnecessary for plot reasons, but it is unquestionably necessary for enjoyment.
There’s a lot of talking: This seems like a misstep, especially since most superhero shows are bogged down by characters talking to pad out the run time. Although, the dialogue in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is more like the dialogue in the series Daredevil. There are more words than action, but nearly every line is so incredibly engaging that I do not care. Sam and his sister talking to a banker about getting a loan might not sound as entertaining as Sam being in an air chase against terrorists, but I surprisingly held onto every word being said due to how well-acted it was. Plus, these discussions help make these characters more human on top of making the world feel believable. I understand the argument of show don't tell, but to me, as long as the dialogue is written well enough and said convincingly, I can learn to live with it.
The Flag Smashers: The concept of the Flag Smashers intrigues me. The idea that a group of people believes things were actually better when half the world got turned to dust is a perfect concept for the MCU to explore. In fact, this is the third story in a row that dives deep into the consequences of what happened post-Infinity War and Endgame, and I'm all for it! The universe is forever changed by this one big event, and it's not going to be irrelevant anytime soon. For the Flag Smashers, they offer the most striking glimpse of how the world is forever changed. Now, I'll admit, after seeing doom and gloom in Avengers: Endgame, it would be better to see the benefits of the Blip that characters claim to have existed rather than told about them. But seeing how there were dozens of fans who made the audacious claim that Thanos was right, I don't consider it too far of a stretch to believe that the Flag Smashers could exist. Especially since the arguments that characters present do seem persuasive enough. It's only the actions that the group makes that derail any sense of the discussion. But in a good way...for the most part. But I’ll get into that later too.
The Reveal of the new “Captain America”: This was the dirtiest, sickening punch in the gut that the first episode could have ended on...and I love it!
John Walker: I often find the best antagonists are the ones I'm willing to psychologically analyze. That's John Walker in a nutshell. He is an arrogant ass who deserved to get slapped around when taking things too far. Yet, I always find myself coming back to those scenes where he seems conflicted about becoming the new Captain America. I get a sense that he genuinely wants to do the right thing and those moments when he asks if he is all but confirms it. John's problem is the constant support he's given by his friends. I'd argue that building his ego is the very reason why he gets frustrated so quickly by people denying him, as he often reacts like a toddler who throws a tantrum when a parent makes the "mistake" of saying “no.” This is why it's satisfying seeing people more powerful than John kick the s**t out of him because it results in his ego going through a well-needed deflation. Still, the constant frustrations he has for not being respected as the new Captain America makes his further descent into insanity all the more appealing to watch. Because him taking the super-soldier serum proves Dr. Erskine's theory is true: "Good becomes great. Bad becomes worse."
...And this is why the writers dropped the ball when trying to make John Walker redeemable. It's exceptional if that was the intention. After all, I did say there were glimpses of a man who wanted to become great, not worse. However, given what John does in later episodes, we're going to need more than glimpses to believe his switch from bad to good. Especially since his decision to set his anger aside to suddenly help people is a little too unbelievable for my tastes given how fast it happens. It's not an awful decision. It's just one that needed a bit more polish. I still find John Walker an incredible character regardless, but I don't blame people for being a tad more hesitant given how poorly paced his redemption arc came across as.
Readapting “Star-Spangled Man”: I adore this for two reasons.
Reason #1: It's a solid callback to Captain America: The First Avenger, which I will always stand by as my favorite Captain America movie.
Reason #2: It proves how much John Walker doesn't understand what it means to be Captain America. When Steve did this song and dance routine in his movie, he hated it. Better yet, Steve despised it. Because he wasn't helping anybody. He was just being a dancing monkey to appeal to civilians, and you see how much he regrets doing it with each show. For John, he relishes the whole thing, because of course, he would! John loves having his ego appealed to, and this routine is doing nothing but inflates it. It's a solid case of visual storytelling to prove to the audience just how disconnected John is from being Captain America. Steve or Sam wouldn't have done this, because being a hero is more than respect and adoration. It's about actually doing the right thing. A lesson that John desperately needs to learn.
Sam’s and Bucky’s bromance: You remember how I said that Bucky's dry sense of humor can be a comedic highlight? Well, that's only second rate to the times he and Sam bicker like an old married couple. Whether it's because of the writing, directing, or Makie’s and Stan's natural chemistry, seeing Sam and Bucky interact with each other is always a blast to see. And on top of being funny, there are these well-handled moments of drama shared between both characters that make their relationship convincing. It's why you can't have this series without Bucky, despite it so clearly being Sam's story that gets the more focus. Because without either character, we would miss out on some entertaining interactions that I wouldn't trade for anything else for this series.
Isaiah Bradely: Well, this character was a pleasant surprise. Although, "pleasant" might not be the right word because every scene with Isaiah is absolutely gut-wrenching in all the right ways. Carl Lumbly gives a phenomenal performance for a character that has been beaten down, with very little hope he has for any change that matters for his race. Plus, his backstory may not be as unbelievable as you might think. Between 1932-1972, America performed what is known as the Tuskegee Experiment. Scientists tested the effects of syphilis by injecting it into African Americans, telling them that they were receiving free health care when they didn't. So the idea that scientists tested super-soldier serums on African Americans, not knowing the dangerous effects, is not that far of a stretch. Neither is the knowledge that a black man was disrespected despite fighting hard for his country. If you researched African American history, you'll find that this type of horse s**t happens way more times than it should. It is heartbreaking, and Isaiah Bradley represents all of it. Thus making the little Isaiah exhibit in the Captain America museum all the more tear jerking just because of how sweet it is to see him get some semblance of a win. This level of discussion of what it means to be an African American is something I never expected with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, but I greatly appreciate it nonetheless. What's even better is that these discussions don't end with Isaiah.
The discussions of racism: Again, this was something I didn't expect, but grateful for it nonetheless. I mean, I should have expected it given that one of the co-stars is black, but given how the story was about Sam being the new Captain America, I didn't think discussion of racism and racial injustice would come into play. Turns out that I was naive to think those things are separate. The burden of being a black Captain America is something that not many white people, including myself, consider a big deal. But looking at America's past and how others react to any African American in power, you realize that, yes, it is a big deal. Isaiah, and several real-life POCs in history, prove that America doesn't respond well to a person of color being better than the average white man. So it is easily reasonable to believe that there would be issues with a black man becoming a symbol of what America should be. Hell, I'm willing to bet that there were issues when this happened in the comics way back when. Not because of some bulls**t about how it doesn't fit with the character or story, but solely because they can't handle a black Captain America. And if you don't believe something like this wouldn't happen to someone like Sam Wilson, look back to that scene with the police who didn't know he was the Falcon. This crap happens every day, and it's The Falcon and the Winter Soldier that shines a light on it. Despite being something I didn't expect, the talks of racism are very much appreciated. And I'm as pale white as an introverted vampire. I can't even begin to comprehend how the African American community must feel about all of this.
Zemo: Who the f**k expected this guy to be one of the best things in the series?!
Seriously, from Captain America: Civil War, I wasn't too into Zemo as a character. I loved the idea that this powerless guy tore apart the world's greatest superheroes through intelligence and coercion. But his needlessly complicated plan and stale personality weren't enough to win me over. So when he returned, I expected to dread every minute of it. Little did I know that Zemo's comeback would skyrocket him into top-tier MCU villain territory!
Zemo is a character that, despite "helping" our heroes, still works on his own agenda. He might put them on the right path and occasionally assist in a fight, but only because he still won't stop at anything to make sure fewer super powered individuals are in the world. Because that's the thing about Zemo: His motivation was fine and understandable to a point, but his personality was flawed in Civil War. Here, I finally see how Zemo can work. Despite having no power, he uses his mind to look for any angle to control the situation, gaining an advantage even if it is for a short time. For instance, while he can't harm Sam or Bucky without risking his own life or jeopardizing his temporary freedom, he can still annoy the hell out of them. Like when he forced Sam into a situation where he had to drink literal snake juice. It's actually a ton of fun to watch, and I'm honestly glad that Zemo gets to live to see tomorrow. It means that he might make another return, and I can't wait to see what's in store for him in the future. Which is something I didn't think I'd say five years ago.
The Dora Milaje: It was actually pretty cool seeing these characters make an appearance, notably when they slapped around John Walker like it was nothing. Although, a part of me wonders that if Chadwick Boseman hadn't died last year, we would get to see T'Challa himself make an appearance. This lines up with the character, as I can see him dropping everything to hunt down the man who killed his father. Which would be just as awesome, if not slightly more so, to see. Still, we work with what life gives us. And what it gave are awesome cameos that make the MCU feel more inclusive about its characters rather than limiting them to their specific sections in the universe.
Walker killing the Flag Smasher: There is something so wrong with seeing that shield stained with blood. 'Cause here's the thing: Captain American can kill. He's a soldier. It's expected for a soldier to take lives for the sake of justice. What John Walker did isn't justice. It was vengeance. Vengeance that is fueled by anger rather than the need to do the right thing. Because when Captain America leads an army to kill the man who whipped out half the universe, that's fighting for a just cause. But when “Captain America” kills a man, the wrong man, for killing his best friend, that is an act of selfishness that no one would see your side on. And it was the final nail in the coffin that proves how John Walker does not deserve that shield.
Sam and Bucky vs. John: This might just be the best fight in the entire series. Not only is it so satisfying to see John Walker get everything that he deserves, but the whole thing was pretty intense to watch. After seeing what John can do with that shield, it makes moments when Sam and Bucky barely dodge his attacks with it all the more blood-rushing to see. Plus, Civil War's motif playing the background is another solid callback that fits well narratively since this is technically two superheroes fighting another superhero. It's an incredible scene that was worth the wait of four hour-long episodes to see.
Setting up Joaquín Torres as the new Falcon: I don't know if Marvel will follow through with this or even if they should. That being said, if they do, I'm all for it. Joaquín already seems like a pretty fun character, and his interactions with Sam show there's enough chemistry there to give Captain America a new wingman. I probably won't lose sleep if he doesn't become the new Falcon, but I'll still be excited regardless.
Madame Hydra: I know that she has an actual name, but I refuse to remember it due to how long and convoluted it is.
Anywho, we get a small glimpse of who Madame Hydra is as a character, but already I'm intrigued. She seems to have a fun personality, added by Julia Louis-Dreyfus' dry energy. Whether this is set up for the next big bad or just introducing a fun character, I'm interested. Madame Hydra was already a blast in the short amount of time she was in the show, and I can't wait to see what future installments have in store for her.
“Louisiana Hero”: Or as I like to call it, "Sam's Hero Theme." Because while this is the track that plays for the intro, it still shows up when Sam is training as the new Captain America. Not only is it insanely catchy, but I love that you hear a hint of the theme of Captain America: The First Avenger, yet "Louisiana Hero" is still very much its own thing. And that's another reason why I consider it Sam's motif because it fits precisely with the character. Sam is a person who has a hint of the good man that Steve was but still does his own thing when wearing the stars and stripes. Not a copy, but still heavily influenced by the original. So kudos to Henry Jackman for creating a musical piece that fits so well with a character far better than any other themes or motifs prevalent in the MCU. Because, let's be honest, there aren't that many.
Sam’s new suit: ...I mean, it looks cool. Kinda corny at times, sure, but points for comic accuracy.
Sam Carrying Karli: I mean, look at it.
This looks like something that should be painted and hung up on a wall due to how beautiful it looks.
Sam’s Speech: Two meaningful things are going on with this speech.
First, it proves once and for all that Sam Wilson is Captain America. He doesn't just fight for his country. He also believes the government that runs it should take accountability for any missteps before dealing with something worse than a person who took the term "rebellious teenager" into an extreme.
Second, it is so satisfying seeing Captain America tell government officials off about unjust treatment. Even if it does diddly-squat about anything in the real world, it's still a big moment that's effective because of the bulls**t that happens every day. It's far from an actual win, but it still feels good (I hope). And that still counts for something, right?
“We’ll need a U.S. Agent”: Credit to Louis-Dreyfus for saying a stupid cornball of a name and making it sound...not that.
WHAT I DISLIKE
Still running that Marvel Studios logo in every episode: It's still a nitpick, but its still annoying. It's alright if you want to use the full fanfare for the first episode, but at least shorten it for the rest of the season. Please? For the love of all that is holy?
The CGI: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier has some pretty...not great CGI. It's not as awful as the CG in the DC shows on the CW, but it is way too easy to tell what looks real and what doesn't. Failing to make CGI convincing has been a problem in the MCU for a while, as most of the time, characters barely look like they really exist in the scene. To me, I compare it to when Red vs. Blue switches between actual animation and Machinima. The CG models stick out like a sore thumb to the in-game models, but at least it looks cool. Because while I don't believe that I'm seeing an actual man with bird wings flying through a canyon while chasing helicopters...it still looks cool. Still, not many people would be as forgiving as I am to this type of thing, so it's onto the dislikes it goes.
The direction of the action: Now I want to clarify that I have no problems with the action itself. Some fight scenes are pretty cool while also added with some exciting set-pieces that kept me engaged the whole way through. It's just the direction of the action that I have issues with. The camera is always shaky with so many cuts that it's hard to follow half the time. It's an understandable technique to hide the stunt double's faces or to make it look like it really is the actual actor who's doing the fighting. The issue is that once you know a show like Daredevil exists, with its plethora of well-directed action, the cracks in the armor become much more noticeable for a series like The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.
Karli Morgenthau: Karli...frustrates me. Because on the one hand, Erin Kellyman does an impeccable job at portraying the heartbreak, frustrations, and determination that Karli has when fighting for her cause. On the other hand, Karli's cause is so layered with hypocrisy that it's hard to understand her position. She wants to prove how the world was better during the Blip, saying that everyone was happier then. So why do things like blow people up and kill “Captain America?” I get the latter. The guy's a d**k. But to prove to people how better things were, is death and destruction really the best choice to get that point across? I get the mentality of how people respond better to a harmful fist rather than a tranquil hand, but really, has that mentality ever worked out either?
However, you could argue that her hypocrisy is fueled by the super-soldier serum, with the "good becomes great and bad becomes worse" theory that John all but confirms. Although, unlike John, we never got to see Karli pre-serum, so we don't know how much it really had affected her. With John, it's easy as many scenes indicate how close he was to snapping and murdering someone who disrespects him. We don't get that for Karli and are left to assume she was already crazy about thinking how intense violence can show the world how great things were during the Blip.
Then again, that could be the plan. Show how a person with the best intentions is ultimately wrong, given the lengths they go through to accomplish them. It worked for Thanos, so it should work here. And it would have...if not for Sam saying that Karli has a point. Because for the main hero to say that the villain is correct, you have to show them doing more good than bad. I understand the mentality Karli, and the Flag Smashers, have. But by doing nothing but committing crimes and violence, any point they have is discredited. Take note of the fact that nobody but nutcases on the internet says that Thanos has a point. Because he doesn't. He's a maniacal supervillain who does something so intense that nobody should be on his side. It's similar with Karli, but because we're apparently supposed to agree with her, she doesn't work as well.
...DO YOU SEE WHY SHE'S FRUSTRATING?! Because while I can see how she can be an incredible character, there are so many holes in how she works that I fail to appreciate any of it. And seeing how she's the main antagonist, a character who takes up a good chunk of the screen time, it's not a good thing that she tends to flounder more times than she should. I want to like Karli, but given everything that's wrong with her, I just can't.
Rewriting Sharon as the Power Broker: This is an intriguing idea met with a mixed execution. You see, I like the idea of a character who was once an ally becoming a villain, yet the heroes have no clue about it whatsoever. It creates solid dramatic irony, but only if done well. With Sharon, it's not really done well. It genuinely feels like her character was changed radically to give her this personality. A fun personality, I'll add, but one that comes across as really jarring when looking back at her previous appearance. Don't get me wrong, a character's current personality feeling so radically different from their previous one can work a treat, but only when we see them go through point A to point B. We're told about the s**t that went down with Sharon, but unlike understanding the mentality of the Flag Smashers, her personality change would have been more effective if we saw it. So while I like the idea of Sharon becoming another big bad in the future, I would have liked it more if we saw her decline into possible villainy.
By using my usual scoring system for MCU shows and movies, I'd give this season of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier a solid 8/10. There are problems. Quite a lot of problems. Hell, even the stuff I like comes with a fair share of issues. It's just a matter of asking yourself, "Do I like some parts more than I dislike them?" For me, I find myself enjoying much more than I didn't. It's not perfect by any means, but while it definitely falters at times, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is a series that soars to great heights. You might not be in love with it, but you’ll have a helluva good time regardless.
Now if you don't excuse me, it's time I swap from one superhero series to another as I share my more in-depth thoughts on--
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Hi Wendy!!! Question time!! Does SS show Zelda/Link's first meeting? If not how did it go? (Related to SS every time I see the word "goose" im like "Groose? From Skyward Sword??????" even tho I know nothing about him/the game sjdfhsd), Do you know any ASL signs? (Do you have any intention of learning??), What was Aepon like!! How did Aepon and Fi get along?? Did anyone other than yourself meet Fi?? = O Hope these help!! <3
i wuv all these questions fsdgfsgh tysm
Does SS show Zelda/Link's first meeting? If not how did it go?
it doesn’t! all u really get to know is they’ve been best friends since they were little.
the kin answer is i met her at the knight academy long before either of us enrolled because my mom was a knight herself & zelda’s dad was the headmaster. i don’t have the memory back as clear as i’d like but i think i fell asleep in one of the empty classrooms and she found me and woke me up and immediately started interrogating me and then when i didn’t answer with anything besides shrugs she screamed ‘WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET’ and i screamed back ‘WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD’ and she then proceeded to drag me down the halls for hours showing me all her favourite places. and then she did that for the rest of our lives.
(Related to SS every time I see the word "goose" im like "Groose? From Skyward Sword??????" even tho I know nothing about him/the game sjdfhsd)
every original character in skyloft is named after a different species of bird so just imagine having this problem x20 and thats what i live with in my day to day ghdsfg
groose himself is named after THREE BIRDS which is insane why did he get three fdghfg
Do you know any ASL signs? (Do you have any intention of learning??)
i know a lot of swears. and various signs for various things with no real cohesion on how to use them. my headmate who knows more taught me how to sign ‘im trying’ so i could do it at my zelda whenever he antagonized me for sucking at a shrine puzzle. he said ‘dont take that tone of hands with me!’
i have wanted to learn how to actually sign proper since i was in high school but learning a new language always is so daunting to me and i worry i won’t have the dedication for it. i want to believe some day i’ll have the time because it would help SO much.
What was Aepon like!!
fiery, stubborn, wild, and free. talkative and proud with a dangerous overconfidence and a heart that feared nothing. if adventure was personified that would be aepon.
he would threaten my life for a single pumpkin chunk and begged me to take him flying in thunderstorms. he hated being away from me and stayed close to wherever i was more often than not. sometimes i’d be trying to focus in class and he’d start talking in our headspace just circling above the academy.
he laughed. i dunno how to explain that he laughed, like a person. he did this weird disjointed spin on the loftwing caw that was definitely a laugh, usually directly after throwing me off his back for fun.
he was the fastest bird in skyloft easily, zelda joked it was to make up for how late to everything i always was, constantly lagging behind. they called him the red terror. i love him with my whole heart.
How did Aepon and Fi get along??
not to plug my own ass fic but i can’t actually sum it up better than how i wrote it there so:
Link holds back an ugly-sounding syllable shaped halfway like laughter, briefly wonders if his sword and his loftwing talk behind his back. The embarrassing stories he’s sure they share whenever he goes to sleep, out flying in the starlight and laughing until they weep. Fi probably doesn’t know how to laugh, but he pictures that Aepon’s wicked cackle is more than enough for the both of them.
do they know each other? do they talk? i have no clue but probably because they’re both on the same level of Exasperated With Me
aepon definitely did not react with anything other than disinterest to a fucking spirit just casually popping out of my sword one day. he just kept flying, filling my head with musings about chasing clouds and how much he liked the colour blue. blue lady is nice. she is blue. aepon’s stance on fi is that she’s blue. fi’s stance on aepon is that’s your bird master do you really need me to tell you in detail about his plumage? i will but do you really desire this. and i was like. yeah
Did anyone other than yourself meet Fi??
honestly, not formally for the most part but she had basically no qualms about her existence being known to people. she only really responded to me but occasionally i’d get to explain to random people that that’s fi she lives in my sword and is magic don’t worry about it can you sell me a potion.
i remember a couple times where i overdid it and kinda just passed out at the sealed grounds and more than once i woke up and fi and groose were both keeping watch. i have no clue if they talked. fi’s kind of an enigma to me sometimes as much as i love her, she rarely does things she deems inefficient which includes talking to people unless she can calculate a profitable outcome. but toward the end of my journey she moved away from that and started doing/saying things that were purely sentimental, so there’s a lot about her i can’t always predict or parse.
she did introduce herself to zelda too! and zelda’s dad was with me the first time i met her. other than that she was pretty exclusive to me. my sword is fiercely private sfdgfhg
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Faith, Namjoon x Reader, 8/8 Chapters, 31k words
After trying to squeeze everything for Beneath the Surface, I think I’m going to split this one into two days. So...today we will be squealing about the first four chapters. Buckle up Buttercup, this about to be a whole damn emotional rollercoaster!
I think it was this story that cemented in me just how much I love your writing style. I love going through it with a story, but please give me a happy ending. I get too emotionally involved and invested in these characters and having a sad or open ended final chapter is too much for me! Give me the warm and fuzzy feels in the end! You really like to give us satisfying stories and happy endings. I was once deeply invested in a Harry Potter fanfic and it ended up having a tragic ending and I swear to Bob, it scarred me! We have enough sadness irl, give me the fairytale!!!
So, in this story, our MC falls in love with Namjoon, who is an underground rapper. You see how you ground the story for the fans? This could have really happened, or maybe it did...wait. Thinking about it now, we’ve all heard the theories that Joon is secretly married with kids. GURL, DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T??? Ok, ok, ok, moving on.
“You weren’t going to leave before your brother even got to the stage.
You MIGHT get kicked out before then though, you thought to yourself, glaring as another random hand smacked your ass as they walked past you.”
AGAIN, you always make your female MCs feisty and I am here for it!!! I know these are reader inserts, but I rarely ever see myself in them, if that makes sense? I still form a mental image of these main characters and I love how you are able to flesh them out so well without giving in depth descriptions (which is not ideal for reader insert fics, you know?) And I love that they stand up for themselves, no doormats here!
“You look up to find an incredibly handsome, and very tall, guy looking down at you, dimples on full display. He was dressed in all black. From the black skinny jeans that encased his long legs, to his black snapback on top of his bleached blonde hair.”
LAAAAWWWDD!!! I have a very clear memory of the rap line doing Cypher Part 1. Hobi looking like he was prepping for Mic Drop with his fit, Yoongi was blond, snapback, ripped jeans, bomber jacket, and his Straigh Outta Daegu attitude. And Joon...he had that undercut, kinda silvery blond hair, a simple beige t shirt, and black shorts. THAT’S THE JOONIE I PICTURE IN THIS FIC!!
“And your rap name is?”...
“It’s Rap monster.”
“Huh. Well, it’s not the WORST I’ve heard. Remember Llama guy? His name was MC McGriddle. I finally convinced him that it would be in his best interests to change his name. He finally did. Now he’s Hilbo Haggins. I don’t think he understands the concept of copyrights.” You smiled over at him.”
HILBO HAGGINS!! I am literally in tears. And is that Hobi??? Is it? Cuz if it is I will hereby stop calling him Hobert and refer to him only as Hilbo! Wait no...Hilbo reminds me of Himbo. Who is the biggest Himbo rapper I know, hmmmm…..OFC, MATTHEW! The big tiddy man himself. Ok, new theory. Hilbo is BM from Kard, and no, you cannot convince me it is not Matthew!
The first time between Joon and our girl is so damn hot and tender at the same time. Joonie is, of course, the perfect gentleman, invested in our girl’s pleasure just as much as his. And then…
“I can hear you overthinking.” He chuckles into your hair. He leans back and tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his eyes.
“So what’s it going to be? Am I staying the night or do you want me to leave?”
You look at him shyly, and bury your face into his chest, mumbling, “Stay…please.”
“Good, because we obviously really like each other, and I wasn’t ready to leave. Give me twenty minutes to rehydrate and we’re going for round two.”
“I’ll never survive!” You squeak out, as he laughs and picks you up, carrying you to the kitchen.
“You watch the rise and fall of his chest, letting your mind ponder the situation you’ve found yourself in as you drift off to sleep. The only conclusion your exhausted mind can reach is faith. It’s time to let yourself believe in someone. You’re probably an idiot for it, but you’re going to put your faith in this man named Namjoon.”
This is incredibly romantic and scary at the same time. Putting your faith in someone, being vulnerable with someone, is so damn scary! It is a huge leap of faith. I can feel the angst coming!!!
The little snippets of them together in chapter 2 are so damn cute! I am on the verge of tears! When Joon calls himself a dad because she got a puppy, saying he wouldn't let her be a single parent, omg that was so cute!!! UUggh so fluffy.
I just got it. The foreshadowing. Excuse me, I need to go cry in the corner for a bit, be back in three business days. This is like the tenth time I’ve read this story and I was today years old when I realized. It hurts, thanks! *finger guns*
Anyways, more cuteness please!! The peanut butter in the fridge, his apology, Joon befriending her brother, so freaking domestic. I cannot!!! And then, the emotional whiplash:
“You watch him over dinner, excitedly talking about his plans for the future (with a full mouth), and you slowly start to realize…you could never tell him. This was his chance. With his level of talent, you were sure he would be at the top in no time. You were going to have to set him free, so he could achieve his dreams, without worrying about you or what was soon to come.”
NO GURL NO!!! DON’T DO IT! TELL HIM OR I WILL. TELL HIMMMM!!!!
“Namjoon pulls off your shirt and expertly unhooks your bra (Heh)”
We, as a fandom, have decided to erase all memory of that particular song! Because we have deleted all information stored in our collective memory about that song, I do not understand this reference. Thanks! Lmao
AND THEN YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO NAME THE BABY FAITH??? So, my feelings don’t matter to you? My personal well being is not a priority for you? Noted. Not like I can do anything about it. What am I going to do, stop reading your stories? Bwahahaha that ain’t gonna happen. I guess I’m a masochist cuz here comes chapter 3…
Their reunion was freaking amazing. I thought he'd be mad or that his anger would turn into hate, but it seems our boi is even more in love with our MC than he was before. The looks across the room, toying with her fishnets, the flirting, the back and forth, the ride to Jack-in-the-Box. Talk about foreplay!!! And then the culmination inside the Jack-in-the-Box bathroom! Woooooooo! And she still hasn’t told him about the baby?!?!?
“If the two of you had gotten into a fight, Namjoon would drag you there to sit and talk things out.”
This is so spot on, Joonie would!
“Tell me what happened. Tell me why everything changed. Tell me why you didn’t want me anymore.” Namjoon whispers, his voice laced with pain.”
NO, NOPE, NOT TODAY SATAN. I CAN’T. I’M CRYING. I’M CURRENTLY SITTING IN MY CRYING CORNER ABSOLUTELY BAWLING!!
“You lose yourself in the familiar feel of his soft, plump lips moving tenderly against yours. If there was one thing that Kim Namjoon was better at than rapping, it was kissing. He always kissed you like he was worshipping you with his lips and he could happily do it forever.”
I feel this in my bones!!! Joonie would be the type to take his time too! And with those lips! Dayum…
I think I am done for today, my heart can’t take any more!!!
Tomorrow we will finish this story!
Now that I picture Matthew as that rapper, I can’t get it out of my head! Totally canon lmao.
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[buckle up; this one is a long one (1.6k words)]
things weren’t supposed to turn out this way.
she was supposed to show up, apologize “sincerely,” and the boys, her boys, were supposed to welcome her with open arms and swiftly discard of you.
instead, she was sitting in the back of a cramped police car with two pigs, one of which had a horrible b.o. problem and an affinity for sauerkraut.
it was so frustrating.
and, of course, it was all your fault.
you’d been blocking her from true happiness ever since the beginning when you’d first met in middle school. it was crazy because you’d actually seemed nice; kind, understanding, and you didn’t judge her for what her father did to her mother or for how she acted out because of that.
sure, you were a little weird and sometimes you could be downright rude to other kids in your class but you cared for her in a way that no one else had before.
(un)fortunately, you didn’t come alone — you were a packaged deal. your childhood friend, daishou, came into her life right along with you. she didn’t mind at first; daishou was fun when he wanted to be but he was mostly full of snarky comments and sarcastic quips.
the three of you spent all your time with each other; from playing at the playground to helping her begin her makeup youtube channel in 8th grade.
you all got along pretty well up until you got to highschool. once there, you threw yourself into your studies, sort of retracting yourself from her and daishou.
she couldn’t help but feel betrayed by you—you knew how bad she was at making friends and you didn’t even care, leaving her all alone to fend for herself.
well, not all by herself.
daishou was a constant. no matter where she was, or how alone she was feeling, he was there to provide entertainment at the most, and his presence at the least.
it wasn’t always the healthiest, most functional friendship, she could admit that. there were weeks that daishou would choose to ignore her for no apparent rhyme or reason, citing his explanation as he just didn’t feel like it.
obviously it sucked but he was her only friend, ever since you so cruelly abandoned them. i mean, you still ate lunch with them every day and invited them over to study and hang out, but it was not the same.
with you so absent, she grew closer and closer to daishou to the point she was spending almost every waking moment with him. and, as the story so goes, she fell for him, head over heels.
she knew it was a bad idea, if their friendship was anything to go off of but she didn’t care. she was desperate for love and physical affection and he seemed willing to at least give her the latter.
after she decided to confess, nerves all the way in her throat and a box of chocolates behind her back, daishou took her virginity in the back of his ford fusion, hard, fast and nothing like she’d imagined.
the next day, she’d cornered you in the library (where you always seemed to be) to tell you the good news. your face was unusually blank as she detailed the best night of her life to you, your response being less than stellar when she was done. “please be careful,” you had said.
what did that even mean? you clearly wanted to keep daishou safe from her which was ridiculous because weren’t you supposed to be her friend too? she’d stormed out of the library after that, determined to demand a kiss from daishou to make her feel better.
that day was one of the last that she’d see you for a while. you got caught up with clubs and schoolwork (and apparently therapy for god knows what) while she got caught up with daishou.
things with him weren’t... great. they never really were but things were getting even worse. his random bouts of silence got longer and though it was only freshman year and they’d been dating for less than 5 months, he’d meet with her after school with a hickey plastered on his collarbone that she knew she didn’t put there (she sucked even harder over the spot to claim it as her own).
as she said, things weren’t great but they weren’t horrible either. they remained that way all the way up until sophomore year.
you and her had drifted even further, hardly speaking to one another unless it was for a project or to vaguely greet one another in the halls. it was okay though. you had all your other friends and she... well she had daishou.
speaking of, her “boyfriend” had been more distant than usual. she wasn’t an idiot and she knew he’d been seeing other girls on the side, but she believed she would be the one he’d end up with, the one he’d marry.
how foolish she had been.
it was prom night and she felt beautiful. her beauty channel had finally begun picking up traction (she’d just hit 13k subscribers the night before!!) so she filmed a prom night makeup tutorial, making sure that every square inch of her face was perfect. donning a silky blue floor length dress, she felt like a princess and she certainly looked the part.
she showed up to daishou’s house about 30 minutes before the event, ringing his doorbell with an elated grin painted all over her face. he had mentioned in passing that his parents and older sister would be out for the weekend, leaving the house for themselves. that meant sex and sex meant being wanted.
after the third ring of the bell, she started to get nervous. maybe he wasn’t ready yet? maybe he needed help with his tie? just when she was about to wring the bell again, the door swung open to reveal daishou... not in his suit.
“oh, it’s you,” he’d grumbled. “‘m not goin’ to prom.” she felt her breath catch in her throat. she’d protested and begged for an explanation but he wouldn’t give one to her. eventually, she’d followed him into his house, furious because how could he do this to her? on her night?
it didn’t take very long for him to get fed up, his snake-like eyes honing in on her, filled with venom. “‘m not goin’ because i don’t like you anymore. you still look pretty though.”
just like that, with just a few words, he’d shattered her heart. she was frozen in place, completely disconnected from daishou, her love, as he not-so-gently pushed her out the door, slamming it in her face.
she felt tears stream down her cheeks and before she knew it, her legs were carrying her to a place she hadn’t been in months.
banging frantically on the door, she cried out, begging for someone, anyone to hear her. the door opened quickly and there you stood. you’d clearly been studying but as you took in her frazzled appearance, it seemed as though your heart broke.
you ushered her inside, sat her own the couch, and began to make her a cup of tea, your parents having been out for the night as well. once the kettle went off, you quickly prepped her drink and gave it to her, the words flowing out of her like liquid once she had taken a sip.
she didn’t know why she was even there but despite the animosity between the two of you, you seemed like you truly... cared. (neither of you mentioned the tears that stained your favorite t shirt or the quiet apologies you muttered into her hair).
that night quickly went and passed and by the next day, she was feeling rejuvenated and more like herself. however, that feeling quickly dissipated when she caught you in the hallway between classes speaking with daishou behind the stairwell in hushed tones.
within the span of a few hours, her heart had been broken twice and she was sure she’d never felt such heartache before.
she turned on her heel and darted away, avoiding your every attempt to talk to her for weeks and weeks until you just... stopped trying. after you’d cut off conversation, yet again, the sadness quickly festered and morphed into anger.
that anger only grew when she watched you graduate at the top of your class in your senior year, your smile blinding as you accepted your diploma. it only grew when she saw that you had made it into the university of your choice on your instagram story, her own rejection letter torn up in the bottom of her wastebin. it only grew when she saw you’d made your own youtube channel, her own going untouched and neglected (her last video had been a half-assed “get ready with me” that had more dislikes than likes due to her horrible makeup and even worse attitude).
soon enough, the rage had intensified until it had taken over her whole being. she was just so angry at all that you’d done to her, all the ways you’d ruined her life that she couldn’t keep herself from plotting your demise.
when she got the email from the hyper house management team that invited her into the house and offered the option that she could pick someone she wanted to move in as well, her anger turned into excitement.
this was her chance. this was her moment to turn your life into a living hell, to make it at least a fraction of what she went through by your hands.
she was going to make you pay and god, was it going to feel great.
the metal of the handcuffs chafed her wrists as she adjusted herself against the cool leather of the cruiser, the discomfort removing her from her reverie.
yeah, right. it seemed as though she was the only one “paying” right about now.
she tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling, tears filling her eyes but refusing to fall.
things definitely weren’t meant to turn out like this. not at all.
℗ poker face
not like this
an - OMFG THE BACKSTORY REVEALED I AM SO OVER IT >:(( this took me forever to write and i still wasn’t able to include everything i wanted to so hop over to my asks if you need any clarification!! oh oh && just a reminder, this playlist is from meiko’s perspective so chances are, things didn’t exactly go just like this wink wonk KAJS ANYWAYS DONT FORGET TO FEED ME ILY <3333
taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you
@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis
the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!
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Better love 🎁📣 & Bonus THAT Berna Chapter 😮 "Berna has known this since he was a young boy. One only has to sit back and observe, and the rot of humanity makes itself unmistakably clear. Any man, from the humble street beggar to the most pious of priests, is capable of being stripped from his higher self, unmade into his component parts. All men will lie, steal, cheat; just as all rats scrap and scramble, fight and bite to protect their own." - what were you thinking
Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?
Oh christ. I am Chaotic Jay. Please don’t take advice of any kind from me. Disclaimer aside -
Don’t be afraid to be inspired by canon. Is there a plot element that you love? Break down what it is that you like about it, and then think about, okay, now how can I make that happen, but different? 90% of the plot for Better Love was me doing exactly this. How can I generate the same effect without repeating canon exactly? I am little more than a scavenger, Cici.
Find some patient people and just babble nonstop to them. The best way to brainstorm is to force your thoughts into enough semblance of order that it makes sense to another human being. I cannot stress this enough.
Get Scrivener. Don’t question me. Just do it.
Research. Research. Research.
Keep your eyes and ears open. Some of my biggest inspirations and saving graces have come from the most unlikely places - helping my mom get her motorcycle unstuck from the mud, or a random ass story my grandfather told me when I was a kid.
Notebooks. Notebooks everywhere. If you don’t jot it down while it’s fresh, it’s gone. I cannot count how many times I have pulled over on the side of the highway to get out that perfect line of dialogue that just ran trough my mind.
Obviously stay safe, though.
Meditate and visualize. I put myself to sleep by playing out Better Love scenes like a movie in my mind. It’s probably not great for actually sleeping, but it works wonders for my writing.
Preaching to the choir here, but don’t force it. That’s a hard lesson, and one that I am still learning. At the end of the day, writing should be fun.
What was the best piece of encouragement you got?
Lol, I once got a comment on AO3 that a girl told her horny husband to wait 20 minutes babe, The Rules of Engagement just updated.
I haven’t had an ego boost quite like that before or since!
What was I thinking during IIF11?
Mostly oh, god, I hope I don’t lose my entire audience because they assume I’m a psychopath.
Okay, this gets pretty dark, but a lot of Berna’s worldview - men are corrupt, men are selfish, men will do what they can get away with, when they can get away with it - is straight from the mouth of my late father. Talk about a dogma to be raised with!
Berna embraces this logic, though. Knowing that men are all the same - rats, every one of them - makes it much easier to exploit them.
The rat metaphor is self explanatory. I just love the gravelly way that Mauricio Cujar spits “rata,” on the show. I could not resist using it here.
I also really adore the image of a young Deigo, probably a bit of an outcast, sitting back and watching his classmates and picking them apart. His entire philosophy is that men are selfish in the extreme, and that it’s only a matter of peeling back the social facade to find that one motivation, the core component that makes them tick, and he would have learned to do this early.
That Berna is so efficient at doing this makes him excellent at extracting information, through torture and other, more subtle methods.
Creepy? Oh, yes. Very.
“Making a man sing, commanding power over his life and voice,” is a line that was in my head from the very beginning - since before I finished ROE. Berna’s POV was one of the fundamental components to If I Fall, and probably the second scene I imagined.
I would also argue that “stripping a man to his component parts and seeing what he’s made of” is thematic for the entirety of the Better Love ‘verse.
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𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐅 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐒
— in which your teenage daughter's friend is over and says something about your husband that is absolutely absurd.
warnings: suggestive?? alcohol mentions
you were making dinner in the kitchen and the two girls are in the living room, just in your line of perspective.
seungcheol walks in. he had just been at the gym and had a tight ass shirt on. could literally them tiddies GAH DAYUM😩 and you were trying not to stare because uM, two little girls right there
but the way your daughter's friend goes: "damn..." as cheol walks past makes the grip of the milk carton in your hand tighten as your eyes scrutinize her.
did she just—
cheol didn't hear but you were ready to THROW hands at that girl.
mans was doing taxes or some random paperwork on the dining table and you were watching tv. the house was v much open-planned, so when your daughter and her friend came out, you could see them in the open space.
her friend stops and looks at jeonghan, taking notice of him.
"oh mr. jeonghan, you look good in glasses."
jeonghan looks up from the paper and the first thing this mf does is look at your reaction.
to catch the face that screamed "the audacity—" and you did. the tv remote in your hand dropped to your lap, thoughts and curses flying around your head. it shouldn't be like that. she was just a child that didn't know any better—BUT TO MF FLIRT WITH YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU TF??? SO WHAT IF SHE'S 16? THE INSOLENCE AND IN FRONT OF YOU? LIKE THAT'S YOURS? HELLO?
you were fuming.
jeonghan looked back at the girl, calmly, no reaction and said to her: "thanks. my wife picked it for me."
i have a feeling he wouldn't even know
i feel like joshua would just be like "awww! thanks!" and all that sweet stuff when your daughter's friend compliments his outfit. he would think that it was a genuine compliment and continue to converse with the girl more about what he should wear.
and LAUGHS? when she says that she would help him style outfits.
you would just be sitting there, glaring and your daughter was glaring too.
joshua would then look at you confused because why are you glaring at him? did he do something wrong?
you explained it to him later and he was like: "WHAT?"
joshua would then get why you were glaring and tease you for it. "she's just a little girl. why are you getting jealous of her?"
then you would get mad at him and he would come behind you and be like: "i'm horny though."
SHEESH😩😩 GIRL YOU GETTING IT GOOD
he wouldn't know too. he'd be like "huh? why is she complimenting me? is something funny? someone explain."
and then he would ask his daughter abt it later and she'd explain that her friend was literally trying to flirt with him and he was too dumb to realise.
asks you abt it.
"nO wEn JuNhUi i dIDnT NOtICe. DUMBASS OF COURSE I NOTICED THAT A TEENAGE GIRL WAS HORNY FOR YOU!"
jun actually tries to argue and actuate that the girl was probs just complimenting him and you were taking it a little too far.
this was not the first time another female had thrown herself at your husband and you and your daughter were sick of it.
so when he finishes his election speech, you go:
"DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
he shuts up.
soonyoung is a famous dancer and your daughter's friend is a bit of a big fan.
and they're sitting in the living room discussing something when you walk in.
"and a private lesson is how much?" she asks him.
"private lesson? i don't do them, sorry." he answered her. "if you would prefer—"
"but i can pay more if you like. i just think being in a room with someone as good-looking alone as you would make my dancing better."
you try not to show it because of how much you are used to it and hoshi looks back at you nervously chuckling.
"gee, sorry kid. i only do private dance lessons with my wife and those are exclusively for her."
LET'S FACE IT
HE WILL BE A DILF
I CANNOT GET OVER ABOUT HOW THIS MAN WILL AGE LIKE FINE WINE. LIKE THAT ONE AUDIO: "YES DADDY"
MHM MHM THAT WAS ME SAYING THAT
ok ok i'm going to stop fangirling.
dude had glasses on and was doing some expensive paperwork or smth and this girl went up to him and TOUCH his face.
and then she was all cool like "oh sorry you had something on your face."
wonwoo is quiet. we all know that, so he's like: "thank you." politely, even though, lwk he's like wtf?
and he looks at you as if asking "wifey, you seeing this shit?" and you're just like nodding because this girl has some great disrespect.
"you're really pretty—"
"i'm literally married."
long story short: that girl never came over again
"I WOULD TRADE MY SOUL TO BE WITH YOUR DAD."
two drunk teenagers that would be in severe punishments.
it was like this the past five minutes—continous perverted thoughts reeling from the mouth of your daughter's friend. and you would be sitting on the passenger's seat, trying to endure this shit as woozi drove.
they were at a party that you said no to but your daughter still decided to go :D
so now you were here trying to think up a punishment when this other girl was literally talking about how hot your husband was.
until your daughter accidentally slapped her in the face, causing her to get knocked out.
"god. don't let that girl come over again." — woozi
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Clone Wars Shadow Warriors
So is Jar
(Asking because before his
zation was force of nature to child
seems to have his own
Which is fine
if you want to change some details for the sake of a
(Or to simply
need to make sure I’m holding them to the right standard,
Did they just call Jar Jar
I mean they are clearly
(Though that might be int-
entional since it seems to be hinting that this lady is practicing some kind of
mind tricks on him
(Aka, he’s doing it
tox, because we don’t do suspension of choice in
Screw my own
See that was the correct
No one noticed the obvious people right there?
Like not even
[or are they just so
kind that it’s like
oh yeah we were just talking hate speech
but go right ahead?
some shit is definitely going on,
For sake of argument*
sake, i’m just going to assume that his reaction to
going to try,
you clearly saying you want understood
Because assumed authority
- and assuming you know better than a person about themselves
Is totally ok-
- In this
it was just a normal necklace
and he pulled that shit-
[Ok for the sake of argument I’m going to assume the necklace is symbolism for toxic influence,
Being around it
His voice voice dropped like
- 6 octaves
Also I swear if they try to
for his actions-
Mind over matter
-Okay, so they’re not excusing him for his
OK so it’s not naturally evil it
just comes down to the users
so that dude was still totally responsible,
good not excusing him
from his actions,
gaslighting goes deep
Also isn’t the Darkside supposed to be
negative over involvement?
Oh yeah that’s a great idea let’s just let the dude that just got gaslighted and completely fell forward go back into the person who did it,
(This Jedi Council is fucking
Confronting the gas lighter is never the way
to do it
(Excluding accountability of the abuser
[as you’re usually too angry
to let them get a word in edgewise
With inter- gen productivity,
They are possibly given
five warnings before
For the sake of argu-
ment as well
If someone’s acting toxic
with you, you
reflect and you don’t have to
hang out with anyone
you don’t want to,
is very clearly making it obvious that
he’s willing to listen to this person,
See he’s gaslighting him again
he thinks he can get away with it,
(Or the small bit
Is he a
(The repeated Gaslighter
who has shown multiple times to be
(And prepared to use any means to
(Really had to put those two
to good -
The writer just saving us the effort of him coming downstairs -all feckin- weird, and the
“should’ve seen that coming,
no the creepy magical stuff wasn’t enough of a
fecking clue in-
snapped out of that quick-
Like didn’t even need a
reverse- mind trick
And - actual-
Okay, but how do you think this is going to look to the general public like two Jedi,( very good at persuasion -
mind tricks’ -just showed up, now they’re leader and said Jedi are wreck-ing one of their minster’s houses-
One who could’ve
ed lack of support for the
Like if this is a
are about to fall,
Okay, seriously how obviously evil,
was this person?
Like we have a weird creepy room,
The robots apparently hanging from the
Like if this person
through a checkpoint
she clearly has
that’s really going to make it
Oh yeah the
seen trying to clean up the
Well the Jedi ran out
full sword’s- a blazing
(Instead of you know the
Senator chasing after him,
While the peacekeeper stayed behind and tried to
tend to the person,]
just got raised,
(Okay, no way he’s totally not dead
doesn’t tell me anything else-
no one else?
(Like don’t get me wrong I’ve been a pretty big Jar-jar fan ever since the change-)
But really, the Senator, the person that spends the most time away from your - planet
That’s the person,
they trust the most?
Oh yeah just put on the deadly leaders hat-
I mean all humans technically
look the same-
Pretty sure Jar jar is a lot
Also if they’re not going to listen to him as him
they’re not going to listen to him
as he pretends to be their (dead) leader
Also, please don’t go with the
liar revealed plot,
Yeah no, they have completely different kind of light.
The face structure-
OK yeah I’m just gonna go over the fact, that as previously state, I am not a huge fan of the liar revealed plot-
(No because it’s- unrealistic-
- or there’s anything wrong with it
-people do lie
-maybe because of how overdone and
poorly done it’s been,
-With the liar getting off Scott free without any
But I really don’t like this
[for reference; I was using the skip button ad nausuem when I randomly stopped at the part
Things just got a whole lot worse]
That’s kind of nice the
friendship and reliance
the dude has on
when someone gets
- In a
Also yeah he’s definitely not
He would’ve stayed and tried to take the
(Aka Jar-jar is less ena-
Also - yeah
how’d you manage that
ried up the chain of
Then again Gri-
evous has shown to be a pretty
So I can’t blame these guys
for being like yeah compl-
I will totally
take a nap
[The rain is
[is this the first time we’ve seen them use active
for the camera?
Again this is what happens when you 1v1 it
don’t assume accountability-
[Don’t fight a metal cyborg with metal sticks when you’re not prepared to take it, full way,)
[I feel like this is supposed to be some
big build up but they only shared like one scene where dude was completely silent,]
Die to take someone out with you
they actually going to kill off
grievous because this isn’t look-ing
is still not dead-
where the fuck
did you come
“ damn it
he messed up the
that’s probably like
how toxic these assholes
Also screw the 150 or how many other
Also, dude knows where everyone’s
Like he pissed off Grievous with
Now he’s just chilling in this
sipping earl gray
Getting a little
ahead of yourself
Hearing this, Skywalker doesn’t immediately run back
Because, to my knowledge the speaking at
and the distance
isn’t enough to
There goes one
Droids are apparently
expensive enough to
But sen-tient - beings are
don’t give a shit about
You know if it wasn’t for the exposure
I would assume they would think that the Jedi was just killing all their Im-por-
tant- elected officials
But dude- that’s pretty
How many episodes
do we have to
is a dick
Also the random theme of the
coming out of nowhere-
He’s alive we’re not going to bring that up in any
You deceived everyone and lied to all
our people, you’ll make a great
Or a great council/
committee leader considering that they do have an open position
I like that they had one bad ass fall and had it replace-d by Dooku being particularly bad-ass
In the trade off near the end really speaks to the
frag-ility of war
It was pretty al-right
Though it really did seem like
- they were trying to build up to something but the structure unfortunately
just didn’t support it,
Which is unfortunate because they do seem like
bits- that could’ve been nice
Like Jar-jar being a constant
Who seems to be like he was supposed to be this
- really big deal
[probably intended to do something
massive in the previous
all he did was that one scene,
[Would’ve worked better if he was like this Re-
Was just like the resident
Or something to do with the
I think it would’ve really worked better with the concept of
As well that possibly being a good contrast between
If Jar- jar got promoted-
With Char being eager at first but then realizing he just
And Jar- Jar being reluctant at first but realizing he
[Note; assumed authority is bad,
Just- some people are better at using it for venting
Nope boomers vs throw-
And it really did feel like this episode
-should’ve been the split one
Nearing the end- it started to feel like the 1st-
part of a second ep-
Which is fine
Episode all around being al-right, with just several parts that didn’t make quite sense including the emphasis on the general for that one scene,
Out of the Woods - College!AU - PART 1
A/N: Welp, here it is! Part 1 of my silly little AU for my favorite silly little king. I really hope I can do him justice and I greatly appreciate any comments and questions you may have! No major triggers- only implied drug use, drinking, allusion to sexy stuff. So, without further ado..
If you had to gaze into a crystal ball at the beginning of the year, this would not have been the future you expected to see. You didn’t plan on being unhoused, stuck in an idle relationship, and debating dropping out of school all together. But here you were, trying your very best to pick up the pieces, salvage what little motivation to carry on that you had left. It could have been worse. It could have been much worse, at least that’s what you kept telling yourself to keep from crumbling entirely. You were never one to back down though, and these few hurdles sure as hell weren’t going to be the thing to break you. At least one of your problems was solved.
You had just emptied the last of the boxes left from moving and were hanging up the rest of your clothes when there was a soft knock on your door. Genya popped her head in, smiling brightly.
“Hey. I was just making sure you were getting settled ok,” she said.
“Yeah, I’m just about done unpacking I think.” You sat down next to her on the edge of your bed. “Thanks again for letting me live here. You have no idea how much you saved his ass,” you laughed.
“Don’t mention it! I’m happy to have someone else here, honestly.” She seemed to mean it, so you decided not to keep groveling. “Anyways, I just had a friend text me about a party tonight if you wanted to go?”
Your party days were almost entirely behind you. Freshman and Sophomore year were a haze of booze and recreational drugs, leading to you almost flunking out of school on more than one occasion. You’d since cleaned up your act, for the most part, and found you way back on the Dean’s list. But...it was a Friday afterall. And you’d just spent all day moving and contemplating your entire life- did that not earn a beer or two?
“Yeah, ok. Ok. That sounds good,” you said with a nod.
“Awesome! I think we’re meeting there around 10ish, so I’ll come grab you to get ready in a little bit.”
“Get ready? Are we 18 and going to our first frat party?” you joked, making Genya laugh.
“I was thinking about it more so as a roomie bonding activity, but if you wanna be a brat…” she drawled, trying to keep the smile off her face.
“Come back in an hour,” you finally sighed. Genya looked simply delighted as she exited, very clearly planning out looks for you both in her head.
As you went to finish up organizing your closet, you felt the familiar buzz of your phone in your pocket.
Matt: u coming over tonight?
You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back in your skull. That probably shouldn’t happen when you get a text from your boyfriend.
Y: can’t, sorry. Going out with Genya
M: ok- have fun. Make good choices.
Y: wtf does that mean
M: just to make good choices? Jesus does everything have to be a fight?
Y: i’m not trying to fight omg
Y: i’ll just talk to you later
K. He had some fucking nerve.
Across campus, Nikolai wasn’t having much better of an evening.
"Do I have to?"
"Yes." Aleks's tone was final; Nikolai knew there was no point in trying to bargain with him at this point.
"Jesus, fine." Nikolai’s fate had been decided and it was now mandatory that he go to the Delta Chi party that night. And here he had been looking forward to a quiet evening alone with his guitar and journal...
"It'll be fun, you sad sack. And I really want you to meet Alina," Aleks chastised.
"I didn’t know you missed my irreplaceable company quite this much."
Aleks gently threw a pencil across the table at his head. "Maybe you'll even catch a new fish of your own, huh?" he said with an obnoxious smirk. Nikolai just chuckled, nodding noncommittally before heading off to his bedroom.
It's not that he didn’t want to go. Well, he didn’t, really. But normally, he would. It’d been about a month since he called it off with the girl he met in Statistics. And it's not like he even missed her all that much- he knew she wouldn’t be around long from the start. But he was still stuck in the “mope in his room, write songs about heartbreak” phase of his healing. Because of such, he hadn't felt like partying much lately, but he’d blown off Aleks the last 3 weekends...he wasn't going to let Nikolai say no again.
Nikolai figured the least he could do is try and look presentable. It was unlike him to spend as much time in sweats as he had; his sense of style had always been impeccable. He was a man who knew he was handsome and knew the best way to broadcast just that. He pulled out tight black jeans and paired them with a powder blue button down with the sleeves rolled up, maybe a couple of the top buttons left undone. He pushed his golden hair back out of his hazel eyes and scrutinized himself in the mirror. To his horror, he looked like he hadn't had a good night of sleep in a week, which was true. Overall, it could have been better, but it could be worse. With a sigh, he grabbed his phone and keys before going out to find Aleks.
They got to the Delta Chi house, and there were already a few guys passed out on the lawn. Nikolai wasn’t surprised, but it was only 10:30. They must have been freshmen. Aleks lead the way to the porch where a petite dark haired girl turned around and beamed at them.
"You're late!" she says with a clearly fake pout. Aleks leaned in to kiss it away and Nikolai looked everywhere but at them.
"Sorry, sorry, I know. Miss Princess here had to be dragged out of his cave," he laughed at his expense. "Alina, this is Nikolai. Nikolai, Alina."
"Nice to finally meet you," Alina smiled. She's cute, he can give Aleks that.
"I’ll have you know I was not in a cave. I was waxing poetic about love lost, heartbreak and what have you,” Nikolai smirked as Alina laughed.
"Genya and her new roommate are already inside," Alina said, grabbing Aleks's hand.
Thank god. Not that he didn't want to spend time with them or get to know Alina, but he didn't really want to watch them suck face and play third wheel all night. Genya had been a friend of theirs since Freshman year- she smoked them down at a random dorm party and she'd been part of the gang ever since. Nikolai pushed through the crowd and made it along with Aleks and Alina to the kitchen. There were fewer people back here and Nikolai felt like he could breathe again.
"Nik," Genya chirped and threw her hands up excitement. "He lives!"
"You saw me Wednesday," Nikolai laughed. “But, I understand. Aleks was desperate for his company too. It must have been unbearable without me.”
"I really didn't think Aleks would get you to come," she said with an easy grin. Genya handed him a cup of what he assumed was beer. "Doesn't matter. You're here now."
They all circled up and chatted for a minute. For once in his life, Nikolai felt like he was noticeably quiet, but he found he didn’t have much to add. They didn’t want to hear about how he managed to cook a meal TWICE last week. Or how he’d written probably a dozen songs, all of them dogshit. Genya was grinning at a story their friend William was telling when she looked over his shoulder and motioned for someone to join them.
"Guys! Guys! This is my new roommate," Genya said. Ah yes, the new roommate. How could Nikolai forget?
New Roommate had wedged themselves into the circle two people away from Nikolai. He looked up from his cup and immediately locked eyes with you. Honestly, the name should have tipped him off. He never, ever thought he’d see you again. There's no way you possibly remember him, right? God, you were still so beautiful.
"Nikolai?" you asked with a tight voice, eyes jumping all around his face. And it's right about then that Nikolai wished he got a little more beauty sleep. Here you were, practically glowing, while he looked like the walking dead.
"Hey," he breathed out. It sounded a lot more desperate than he meant it to, but you always have had that effect on him.
"You guys know each other?" Aleks interjected.
"It's uh, it's been a few years, but yeah," you said with a blush, looking down into your cup. Aleks and Genya both looked at Nikolai with a raised eyebrow. He could feel the sweat pricking along his brow. Fuck, now all eyes were on him...
"Maybe there's a spot open for beer pong. Let's go check it out." Thank you. Subtle, Genya. "You guys can catch up," Genya said walking past you and patting Nikolai on the shoulder. The rest of his friends followed suit and Nikolai was left alone with you, staring not so subtly.
You hadn’t grown an inch. You’d lost the bright red glasses too. But, god, you were still the most gorgeous creature Nikolai had ever laid his eyes on. Really, he couldn't have lost his virginity to a hotter person.
It's your typical boy-meets-girl story. Nikolai first saw you at the rink where he played hockey in high school. Your parents owned the building and seeing as such, you were employed as the kid behind the concession stand. Nikolai remembered the first time he saw you, he thought you looked like a dork. A very hot dork, but a dork all the same. Nikolai began to notice you watching him in particular during practice, which just further flustered his raging teen hormones.
One night, after everyone else had left practice, Nikolai stayed behind and introduced himself to you. He’d never seen such a beautiful mouth and he had to resist the urge to kiss you right then and there. It became habit that he stay after practice and lean against the counter to shamelessly flirt with you. You often had the rink to yourselves by that time, so Nikolai felt like he could really be himself during those hours. He was still figuring out his place in the world and had stuck-up parents who would never approve of him taking you home. But in the lowlights of the concourse, he was allowed to have a crush on you.
Flirting led to making out behind the counter. Making out behind the counter led to hand stuff in your beat up purple van once you locked up for the night. Hand stuff led to him fucking you in the locker room shower. It was both of your first time and it could have been much less hurried. But you were young and inexperienced and horny as fuck and still exploring sexuality. You kept that arrangement up for the next few months until the season ended and Nikolai left that fall for school. He felt like a dick for not saying goodbye to you. It's not in his nature to ghost. It just isn't. He thinks maybe he was still scared of what it all "meant" and how much he really liked you. Maybe this was the universe telling him to make things right with you and make things right for himself.
"Hey, stranger," you said with a lopsided grin. Fuck. Nikolai was so done for if you kept looking at him like that.
"Hey yourself." And Nikolai couldn't help himself when he reached out to you to pull you in a tight embrace. Lucky him, you didn’t push him away and call him a fucking asshole; he thought he would have deserved that. You buried your face into his neck and the hot little puffs of air were doing way more to him than they should. You parted just enough to get a good look at each other.
"You look good," you said with a dark edge to your voice, bottom lip trapped between your teeth. He knew very well what he looked like that night, but you seemed to mean the compliment.
"You look better," he replied earnestly, because it was true. It shouldn't have been this easy to fall right back into things. But it was always different with you. Sometimes, he still thought you were the only one that really understood him without him having to say a word.
"Nikolai Lantsov, you always were a little flirt," you laughed. Your eyes crinkled at the corner and Nikolai thought to himself how beautiful you are when you’re playful. You’re always beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to whisk you away and have you alone. This time, he wouldn’t fuck it up. He wouldn’t let you go. You must have noticed his brain going into overdrive because you say "What's going on up there? What ya thinking?" You pushed a rogue lock of golden hair away from his face.
"I'm thinking about how much I wish we weren't at a frat party right now. I'm thinking about how I want to be selfish and have you all to myself," Nikolai said low so only you could hear. You laughed a little to yourself and looked at him with sparkling eyes.
"I'm not stopping you," you drawled. Fuck. Fuck, ok. This was really happening.
"Let me tell the guys we're leaving and then do you maybe want to get some food?" Nikolai asked hopefully. You just nodded coyly with a small smirk.
"I'll meet you out front." You squeezed his hand once and started pushing your way through the sea of bodies.
Nikolai ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath before nearly running down to the basement, eager to say goodbye and make his way back to you. Genya, Aleks, Alina, and William were playing each other, a beer pong table stretching between their pairs.
"Where's your old friend?" Genya asked with a shit eating grin.
"We're um. We're actually gonna head out. So, I guess I'll—" but he was immediately cut off by Aleks.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nik, are you leaving with a girl?" he teased.
"Yes. I am." Nikolai looked at him defiantly.
"How do you guys know each other anyways?" Bill asked before launching a shot.
"Just from growing up. High school or whatever," Nikolai mumbled.
"Cmon..." Genya begged.
"Wouldn’t you love to know," he said, voice laced with snark. "I just came down here to say we're fucking leaving!"
"Well then you better not keep your girl waiting," Genya said with a silent kiss in his direction. Nikolai just flipped her off and took his leave.
When he got outside, you were waiting with your hands in your pockets at the bottom of the porch steps. He smiled wide at you and offered a hand, which you seemed happy to take.
"So, are they gonna give me a bunch of shit next time I see them?" you asked as you walked hand in hand to the little strip of 24 hour restaurants on the outskirts of campus.
"Probably. Nothing you can't handle," Nikolai winked. You laughed then a little giggle. It's such a familiar sound and just like that, Nikolai was transported back to the ice rink and you giggling between kisses behind the snack bar.
You made it to one of his favorite delis in town and he offers to buy you a sandwich, which of course you tried to refuse his offer. Nikolai simply won't hear it. He had 5 years of douche baggery to make up for and insisted. You finally conceded and thanked him with the sweetest smile Nikolai had ever seen. You found a table in the corner, away from the door and prying eyes.
"So, how'd you meet Genya?" Nikolai asked.
"We have a writing class together. And we got to talking and became friends. I needed to find a new place cause my old roommate had to drop out and move home. I couldn't afford the place on my own. And I mean, you know how Genya is," you laughed, "I told her all about it one day in class and she offered me a room at her place without batting an eye."
"That does sound like Genya," Nikolai nodded.
"I've only been there like, two hours. But it's been good so far. Genya's been super cool," you said with a smile.
"I can't believe that we've been at the same school this whole time and it's taken this long to find each other," Nikolai said, mostly to himself, but you heard him and reached across the table to grab one of his hands.
"But we did find each other eventually, yeah?" You ran your thumb over his knuckle.
"Yeah," he said, suddenly bashful. Nikolai was seldom flustered. He had nerves of steel and had confidence to spare on his worst days. But you. You cut through him, all the way down to the core, and that made him nervous.
"So," you started, "Tell me about everything Nikolai Lantsov. Surely you've been up to something the last few years."
"Not much interesting to tell," he shrugged. "Been studying history. Writing music here and there to keep myself occupied."
"Who wants to know?" he asked with an arched eyebrow.
"Shut up," you mumbled into your soda. He doesn't miss the blush that's spreading over your cheeks.
"No. No girlfriend." he paused, considering how honest to be. But fuck it, he owed you candor. "I actually broke up with a girl a little over a month ago." You looked back up at him then, your eyes searching presumably for whether or not Nikolai was still torn up about it. "She wasn’t...she wasn’t right for mw and I guess I was just done. I feel like I should still be sad about it or whatever, but I'm not. I don't miss her. The wallowing and self reflection has been great writing fodder though," he said with a laugh.
"I'm sorry, Nik. You don't deserve that."
"Don't I?" Nikolai looked at you and suddenly felt torn open. "I...I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you." You bit down on your lip and looked out the window. "I regretted leaving you, god, and like a fucking asshole. I regretted leaving you so much. I know saying I'm sorry isn't even close to enough. But god, I'm so fucking sorry." He knew there were tears threatening to fall from his eyes, but he swallowed them down best he could.
"I'm not going to act like it didn't hurt me. Because it really, really did. But I accept your apology, Nik. You know I could never stay mad at you." You paused for a minute before looking at Nikolai with a tiny fire in your eyes. "You know, I'm pretty sure I was in love with you back then."
"Well, I don’t think I ever stopped loving you," He said confidently. Your jaw dropped just for a moment before you're giving him that sexy grin that apparently still drives him absolutely crazy.
"Still?” Nikolai just smirked. "What if you don't know me anymore?" you asked and sucked at the straw in your soda.
"I'd like to." There's a shift in the air between you. Nikolai was sure you could both feel it. It was suddenly too warm in the restaurant and there's too much table separating you. He decided to take his chance. “How do you feel about going back to my place?”
You suddenly seemed very interested in your nail beds, picking anxiously at the skin. “You didn’t ask me if I was seeing anyone.”
Nikolai stalled. He didn’t. You asked about his relationship status and he was so absorbed with letting you know that he was, in fact, single, that he didn’t bother to ask if you were even available. Hadn't you been flirting all night? He'd certainly been flirting. But like you said, maybe he didn't know you anymore. Maybe this was just how you were these days. “Are you...are you seeing someone?”
“Yeah,” you sighed. Maybe it was his own wishful thinking, him hearing the resignation in your voice. Not that he wanted you to be unhappy. No, you deserved the world and he wanted nothing more than for you to have the sun and the moon and the stars. But, maybe there was still a chance for him yet. “His name is Matt. We’ve been together for like, a year or so.”
“Matt.” He let the name burn his tongue. “You love him?”
“Nik…” you warned.
“Just a question.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Just my two cents here,” Nikolai started, leaning back into the booth, “But you deserve to be with someone you can gush about. Someone who when you get asked if you love them, you don’t think twice and say ‘they’re the love of my life!’”
“And you don’t think that’s him?” you said, huffing. “You think that’s you?”
“There’s a chance,” he smirked. “All that aside, I’m very glad fate has brought us together again.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you laughed. “I missed you too.” You looked at your phone quickly. “Shit, I should get going. I have a shift at 9 tomorrow.”
“Let me walk you home,” Nikolai insisted, standing from the booth and helping you into your jacket.
“Always such a gentleman,” you smiled, tapping him gently on the nose before walking ahead of him.
The walk to your and Genya’s place felt too short. Nikolai had made this trek, both intoxicated and sober, and it always seemed much longer. But now he was at your front door, hands shoved in his pockets as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. “If you don’t want to hang out again, I understand, but I need you to tell me now if you think it’s a bad idea,” he rushed out.
“Of course I want to see you again,” you said, rolling your eyes. “So dramatic. We can still be friends, right?”
“We can be best friends,” he smiled.
“I’m glad I ran into you tonight.”
You were both clearly just trying to prolong the evening at this point. Nikolai took it upon himself to put you both out of your misery and pulled you into his arms again. You gripped his torso tightly, melting your body against his. He held you close, both strong arms wrapped around your shoulder while he tucked your head under his chin. After a moment, he pulled back enough to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead.
“Get some sleep,” he whispered, his breathing a little hard.
“Ok,” you croaked, nodding. Nikolai stepped out of your space then, squeezing your hand one last time before walking back out to the sidewalk, waiting and watching to make sure you got inside safely.
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SHOP UPDATE! ✨May 2021✨
Finally we have a new shop update, the first in many months!! Though the shop had been seemingly quiet, I have been working very hard, and I thought it would be really fun to take you guys on a little tour and present what I’ve got to show for myself.
If you like what you see and it makes you nosy what else I’ve got in the works, you can come visit my Patreon, where I’m much more active and I frequently post about my WIPs. 💗 Reblogs are extremely helpful and much appreciated!
1. I’m so proud of how the holo stickers turned out!!!!! My hope is that they will be the first pair of many and over time we can build up a small holographic witchy sticker pack or something. (Also, if you like these and you are on Trickster or above tier on Patreon, don't even worry about ordering because they will be a part of your packet.)
2. This is technically not new, but in practice a separate listing, so here it is. I thought it would be awesome to offer all of the stickers in one package at the same time. I would love to see that from other artists, as a big sticker collector. It spares a lot of shipping, and I also set the price a lot cheaper than they would be separately.
3-4. At one point I ordered a ton of metal charms with a spooky, witchy vibe, and I had some ideas for enormous dangle earrings, two of which have come to life so far. They will be called Ritual Sacrifice and Emotion Magic. These teardrop shaped beads are like an elixir of life to me right now, they look so good. They will probably appear on and around my earrings quite a lot.
5. I made a matching ring for the Wisdom Teeth jewelry set. Two little teefs, one for each of the two color variants. I love the grotesque mixing of the delicate filigree with the mildly spooky tooth imagery and they fit the necklace so well. The rings are a permanent part of the set now, but I decided to keep the earrings optional, in the case that someone would really like this set but has no use for the earrings in particular.
While on the topic of metal charms, I added the newcomers that arrived to the "Choose your own adventure" pile as well. If you haven't heard yet, this is a listing where you can order simple (and inexpensive) earrings with the charms that I have in my stock. The catch of it all is that the two halves not only CAN be different, but I strongly encourage it actually. The buyers can select their choices from annotated photos. I retook these photos from scratch, because I thought the colorful background was a bit distracting, but I have second thoughts about it to be honest, cause the color looked more... happy, I guess? Maybe I will retcon this change when I have to retake the photos again. Or maybe I should stop hoarding charm packets? Nah, it's the kids that are wrong.
If you are reading this on Patreon, you likely know everything about this from Discord already, but for those who are not in there (yet!!!!!! The Bagel Gang is STILL hiring!!!!!!!) since my last shop update about half a year ago, I have been mastering the art of the blade. And by blade I mean the sharp ass edge of the resin that I have yet to cut my finger on while I'm sanding it but I just know some day it's gonna happen... ANYWAY. Long story short, I have been into resin pouring big time recently!
7-8. These glitter flakes look extremely luminous and almost like opal. I thought the lightning and this big ass eye molds would make for a great, boisterous, queer, faux 80s vibe, so that's where I started. When I bought the eye mold, I imagined it to be only about 2/3 of the size in every direction, so I was a bit surprised they turned out so huge but I ain't no coward! I actually wanted to make more colors than just the transparent or blue... but for starters I thought two would be enough. If someone is interested, you absolutely CAN request pretty much any color though, and I'll make it if I have it.
9. I'm absolutely in love with this ouija mold. There are six different designs on it, and I will sell four of them, for now (#5 is still in progress and #6 was more like a test piece that didn't turn out quite right, better luck next time ig). But if people like these, I will make more, maybe even glittery ones and stuff. You may find it weird that the different options will be named after random numbers, but they are actually the number of the pigment that I used, and I thought this would help me remember just in case someone would request me to remake a particular color. I have so many pigments yall. I don't even want to talk about it. We all have to get our serotonin from somewhere.
10. Deep in my heart, I hope that these earrings will be the star of the show. These molds came in a bigger pack but I thought they would look cute and kind of whimsical together as a pair of asymmetrical earrings. I think they are intended as pendants originally but if you are not wearing an entire pendant in your ear, are you even living?!
At the time the photos were taken, I only intended to sell these as earrings but my Patreon peeps said they would be interested in pendants as well so that is now an option.
11.This earring was the last thing I finished for this month’s update - in the vein of the witchy metal earrings, but there main centerpieces are the silver bezels filled with transluscent-iridescent, brilliant resin.
12. These are the pendants from the last crafting video!!! They were all done in one sitting. I just kinda improvised the pattern as I went, it's just like doodling, just with a 230C hot rod that could burn off your finger any minute. Which is exactly my idea of relaxing. But jokes aside, I hope people will like these too, because making these is really chill and meditative for me, and no don't worry there were no fingers or szintas harmed in the making of these pendants!
13. And lastly... just a simple, fun little extra. Electroplated quartz pieces that I wrapped with wire quite lightly, just the natural, raw beauty of it on display and everything. Just like the moon and star earrings, they will be available as necklaces as well. I like these a lot, in fact the pieces that you see on the pictures I decided to keep for myself but don't worry, if you wanna order, you will get something very similar. It's like goblincore, but add a little 80s in there. Brilliant. Quite literally since the electroplating makes them INCREDIBLY shiny.
That will be it for this month. There will not be a shop update every month (rather one every 2-3 months most likely) but I will be damned if I don’t come up with something awesome for you to wear for PRIDE MONTH of all times of the year - that would be an absolute dishonor! So see you very soon... 👁️🗨️✨
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It’s a Match
↠ yoongi x jimin | smut | hookup au | 18+ | 3.4K
↠ Summary: Loneliness can make you do questionable things. Like signing up to a dating app to suck the cock of a stranger.
↠ Warnings: deep throating, public blowjobs, cum sharing, kind of a social media au - but not, drunk Yoongi, flirting, masturbation, gagging.
Yoongi never thought he'd be desperate enough to download the app on his phone, but here he was at 11:37 on a Friday night, finger hovering over the install button.
"Ahhh fuck it.."
He clicked and watched as the app downloaded and installed on his phone. He never thought it would get to this point. He'd been single for years. Preferring his own company, he never found it necessary to date. People annoyed him, too loud, too intrusive, too manipulative. So he remained alone. But 4 years is a long time to be on your own and he was starting to grow tired of his own hand. Plus he'd watched evey fucking video there was on his favourite porn site a year ago. That should have been the sign he needed to get laid, but his dumb ass wallowed in misery for another 12 months and that's why he's here now, creating a profile in the hopes of getting fucked this weekend.
A frown formed on Yoongi's face, he had been scrolling through profiles for the last 30 minutes and hadn't matched with anyone. He knew it was because he was being incredibly picky, swiping left on nearly every single profile he'd come across. He wasn't gonna get his dick sucked carrying on like this. He swiped left on a profile of a man in his 40s - already starting to bald, arms wrapped around a girl half his age - when his eyes landed upon the profile of a young man.
Yoongi was intrigued. The man had the prettiest face Yoongi had ever seen, beautiful plush lips pulled into a seductive smile, with his blond bangs hanging over his eyes. Yoongi clicked to view the profile in full, Jimin - the beautiful man's name was Jimin. He used emojis in his profile, which made Yoongi let out a frustrated groan. He hated emojis, too childish. He continued to read the profile and decided that the two of them were too different and even though the man was beautiful he would swipe left, like he had been all night. Maybe it was an accident or maybe Yoongi's subconscious wanted those plush lips around his cock, because instead of swiping left he swiped right.
He put the phone down and got up to make a drink. He shouldn't have a coffee this late, but apparently he was living recklessly tonight. With the steaming hot drink in his hand he climbed back onto his bed. He took a sip of the dark hot liquid when he heard the ding of a notification. He cautiously leaned over and grabbed the phone, swiping away his lock screen. He could see that he had been notified of a match, so he quickly opened the app, curious as to which one of the very small pool of men he'd swiped right on that would like him back. Yoongi could feel his cheeks starting to heat up. He didn't expect to match with the blond with the lips to die for. Not only that, but the man had messaged him too.
Yoongi couldn't tell him the truth, he WAS going to swipe left, what the fuck happened with that anyway.
Yoongi choked on his coffee, Jimin looked like an angel, but an angel wouldn't talk that way. How the hell does he respond to that? Does he even want to respond to that? He placed his coffee on the side table and dragged his hand through his hair. If he didn't take this opportunity his blue balls would actually kill him. Well fuck, his response just made him sound like the world's most pathetic asshole.
Yoongi checked the time, it was quite early in the morning now. The coffee had helped wake him up, but the prospect of meeting with the cute man had him feeling even more awake than what was humanly possible. The two of them talked for the next few hours. Sharing stories of their worst dates, childhood pets, who was more powerful Superman or Ironman and their favourite songs. Yoongi finally said goodnight and put his phone on the charger. They had agreed to met at Jimin's favourite bar the 'Hit List' at 8pm that night. Seventeen hours for Yoongi to work himself up into a worried hot ass mess. Fucking great. And yet as he stared up at the ceiling a small smile broke out on his face.
Yoongi spent his Saturday doing everything he possibly could to distract himself from his date that evening. Was it a date? Do you call meeting some random off the internet to possibly fuck a date? He was too old for this shit. He rearranged his vinyl collection, read a decent chunk of his new book and practiced a few new songs on his guitar. Once the sky had turned a beautiful shade of orange and pink Yoongi knew he had to stop stalling and get his ass ready. He took an extra long shower, debating on whether to do some manscaping (since all the young kids do it these days) before deciding not to. He liked his bush, and if pretty boy wasn't a fan well tough shit for him.
He teamed his black and white shirt with a pair of black jeans ripped at the knee, a leather jacket and finished it off with a few pieces of jewellery. With one last look in the mirror Yoongi slid his phone and wallet into the pocket of his jeans and left his apartment. Just as he stepped into the lift his phone pinged. It was a message from Jimin.
Jimin is sitting at the bar when Yoongi arrives. He's deep in conversation with the bartender, so Yoongi stands by the entrance awkwardly looking around. It's a nice place, very quiet and intimate. It's dark, a few low hanging lights scattered around and tealight candles sitting in a whisky glass on each table. To his right is a large floor to ceiling window, surrounded by a mix match of old leather chairs. There is a faint smell of smoke in the air. Oddly this smell starts to calm Yoongi down, it reminds him of his grandfather. Okay, now he's nervous again. Thinking of his grandfather at a time like this?
"I'm a fucking mess." he mutters to himself as he walks over to the bar.
"Uhh sorry to interrupt, Jimin right?"
The blond turns his head and smiles, he is really more beautiful in real life Yoongi thinks to himself. He's wearing a black shirt with one too many buttons undone, his hair parted in the middle falling gracefully to each side framing his angelic looking face.
"Mmm that's right and you are?"
Um what?! Fuck, Yoongi knew he made a mistake by coming here. Ahh fuck, why did he have to make that stupid profile? He loved Amateur Bareback 3-Way #2, he could have easily watched it 100 more times.
"Relax cutie, I'm just playing, you should have seen your face," a giggle escaped from Jimin's lips. "Nice to meet you Yoongi." he stood up and extended his hand out to shake. Yoongi quickly wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and returned the handshake. Jimin's hand was engulfed in Yoongi's. He looked down and couldn't help but smile at the scene. Jimin's hands were so petite compared to his. It was a rather lovely sight.
"Order yourself a drink and we'll go sit over there." he pointed to the leather chairs Yoongi has been eyeing up earlier. He ordered an Irish Mule for himself and a Negroni for Jimin. He carried the drinks to the table, while Jimin followed closely behind. A little too close Yoongi thought. He could smell his perfume starting to mix with the smoke smell. It was a delicious combination.
The first half an hour was straight up torture for Yoongi. Even though the two of them had spent the night messaging each other it was different once he was sitting face to face with the most stunning man in all of Seoul. Yoongi avoided eye contact, mumbled and laughed dryly at Jimin's jokes. He was well and truly fucking this entire thing up.
Jimin huffed "You don't have to stick around you know, you can leave whenever you want."
Yep. He had fucked this up.
"Uhh it's not that," Yoongi starts to bite at his thumb nail "Jimin, I'm terrible at this. People stress me the fuck out, I haven't been laid in four years, I don't like leaving my apartment, you are lovely, fantastic even and that's making me even more nervous."
Jimin played with the hoop in his ear while looking directly at Yoongi, he tilted his head to the side "How can I help you relax? I thought we clicked last night?"
"I'm sorry I make you nervous, I can't help it that I'm so cute." Yoongi finally looked into Jimin's eyes and they burst into laughter.
"It's not your fault. Fuck it, I need another drink . . or five that will help." he rolled his eyes before waking back to the bar.
With a few more drinks in him Yoongi was relaxed, he could feel the whiskey warming up his body. The heat in his stomach though, he was sure that was because of the attractive man sitting in front of him. The discomfort had finally vanished and instead a mellowness had fallen over the two.
"I've always liked older men." Jimin purred, his delicate small fingers, adorned with multiple silver rings, brushing against the now half empty glass.
"Aiisshh I'm only two years older than you!" Yoongi huffed, folding his arms across his chest.
"Yeah, but you act like you're nearly 60.” Jimin let out a hearty laugh, his eyes turning into crescents, cheeks plump and slightly pink. He slapped the table causing their glasses to shake. Yoongi quickly grabbed his to prevent it from spilling.
"It's not that funny." he didn't want to admit it, but the blond's laugh was hypnotic, he could watch Jimin laugh for hours and never tire of it.
Jimin straightened up, fingers now tracing the rim of the glass "I bet you don't fuck like an old man though."
Yoongi gulped and looked directly into Jimin's brown eyes, gone was the playful light, it was now replaced with desperate firey lust. He knew what the outcome of this date could be, and yet he was still nervous. He could feel his heart starting to race, his breath becoming faster. "Aaahh shit" Yoongi thought to himself as his left hand started to twitch, the blond's smell - a mix of orange blossom and patchouli was becoming overwhelming, he needed to calm down, he'd cum within seconds if he didn't get his shit under control.
"Heh, well I guess you'll find out later huh?"
Jimin reached over and ran his soft fingers over Yoongi's hand, playing with the bracelets that sat around his wrist.
"Why don't I find out now?"
Yoongi's friends love roasting him for his personality change when drunk. All of a sudden the quiet reserved man becomes giggly and loud. Cracking terrible jokes and singing at the top of his lungs. Sober Yoongi would never dare dream of taking a stranger to the bathroom to jerk off. Drunk Yoongi though? Try to stop him.
"Mmm Jiminshi are you sure?”
Jimin giggled at this "You are SO cute" he continued to draw his fingers over Yoongis hands "Of course I'm sure, do you wanna go back to mine? Or we could go to yours if you're more comfortable with that..."
Without thinking Yoongi stood, grabbed the blonds arm and pulled him up. They walked towards the exit, but before descending the stairs they took a left and made their way into the restroom. Once inside Yoongi pushed Jimin against the door and started kissing at his neck. "Fuck! Jimin, there is no way in hell I can wait to get back to my place, I need to feel you now." Yoongi whispered between kisses.
Yoongi leaned down and kissed his exposed chest, thank fuck Jimin had left those top buttons open. They had been torturing Yoongi all night long, but now he was thankful for it. Jimin's skin was so soft and it faintly smelled like cherry blossom lotion but he wanted more. He was desperate for more. Jimin ran his hands through Yoongi's hair and grabbed hard. Small moans escaped his lips, which drew Yoongi even crazier. He undid the buttons on his shirt and stood back. Jimin had the body of a god. Perfectly sculptured, with beautiful brown nipples begging to be sucked on. Who was Yoongi to deny god his wish?
Jimin let out a squeak when Yoongi ran his tongue over his nipples, hungrily licking and sucking at them. His right hand found it's way to the bulge in Jimin's pants and he pressed his palm down onto it. Jimin was now starting to get louder which made Yoongi smirk, he lightly nipped on Jimin's nipple before standing up and leaning in to sloppily kiss Jimin on those perfect, perfect lips, the taste of spice and bitterness still lingering.
"Uuuhhh Hyung, please touch me."
"That's what I'm doing Jimin."
"No you asshole, I want to feel you properly, get my fucking dick out." Yoongi stopped and looked at Jimin, slightly taken back by the tone of his voice. But he just smiled back - a wicked smile.
Yoongi got onto his knees and began undoing the zip of Jimin's pants. He pulled them down to his ankles, he then drew his hands up Jimin's legs, enjoying how smooth they were. He palmed Jimin's cock through his underwear eliciting a moan from the man above him. Yoongi pressed his face into Jimin's clothed cock. He took a deep breath, Jimin smelled wicked, his arousal mixed with body lotion was rousing. He alternated between sucking and licking on the cock trapped behind Calvin Klein underwear. He repeated this action a few more times before finally removing the now very damp briefs.
Jimin wasn't the biggest cock Yoongi had ever seen, but he was thick and absolutely smooth. He stroked his long fingers over his chiseled abs, along Jimin's length and then down to his balls which he cupped in his hand, massaging back and forth. He let go and brought his hand to his mouth, running his tongue over his entire palm. It was so fucking dirty and Jimin shuddered at the sight. He reached back up and gripped Jimin's cock in his now saliva covered hand. He drew his hand up and down at a frantic pace. He was too worked up to go any slower, but Jimin didn't seem to mind by the noises he was making. Oh shit, he was being too loud now. They'd get caught and thrown out or even worse the cops called.
"Shit Jimin, you need to be quiet or someone will hear us.”
“Mmm Yoongi I don't think I can cutie, why do you think I said we should get out of here."
Yoongi huffed and slowed his hand down. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jimin's briefs, so he picked them up, stood and shoved them in Jimin's mouth.
"That should shut you up.... Is that okay? I can take them out if you don't like it.”
Jimin shook his head and moaned around the underwear. His mouth was stretched open and drool already starting to pool at the corners. What a fucking beautiful thing to witness. Pleased with himself Yoongi got back on his knees and kissed the tip of Jimin's cock. His tongue played with the slit, circling it before he slowly kissed down each side of his shaft. He then licked the base to tip, never taking his eyes off Jimin's. They both looked so fucked already, pupils blown out, flushed cheeks and lips swollen from the rough kissing earlier.
He started pumping slowly, wanting to tease Jimin a little, the blond was impatient though and bucked his hips into Yoongi's fist, letting him know he wanted and desperately needed it faster. Yoongi let out a small chuckle and started to move his hand at a pace the gorgeous man would enjoy. Muffled moans of pleasure let Yoongi know he had found the magic speed. He continued like this for a few minutes before letting go and taking Jimin's cock in his mouth. Oh he tasted good - of course he did he was perfect in every way why would this be any different? Yoongi hollowed his cheeks as he bobbed up and down on Jimin's length, taking it deep before pulling up and letting go with a 'pop'.
He took hold of Jimin's cock and rubbed his lips all over the head, spreading precum all over his lips and chin. He felt like such a slut, but he was loving every moment of it. Yoongi closed his eyes and slowly buried Jimin's entire cock in his mouth until it hit the back of his throat. He moaned around the feeling, this was what he had needed. To feel stuffed by a pretty cock attached to a pretty man. Jimin was squirming above him, his panting and moans muffled by the briefs in his mouth, but there was no doubt he was in ecstasy just like the cock starved brunette. Yoongi felt petite hands fist into his hair and start pulling and pushing trying to take some control of the situation, Yoongi slowed down and allowed Jimin to start fucking into his mouth.
With each of Jimin's thrusts his grunts became louder as he was getting closer to his orgasm. Jimin wasn't the only one getting close, after having practically become a born again virgin, Yoongi's head was dizzy with arousal and he wasn't sure how much longer he would last, his grip on Jimin's thighs tightening, bound to leave light marks the next morning. He closed his eyes and could feel the heat from his stomach rise throughout his body, his muscles tensing as he felt his release. The wet patch in Yoongi's pants made him feel absolutely filthy. He came just from sucking someone's cock? Before he had too much time to start mulling over how much of a slut he is, Jimin spills his load inside Yoongi's hot mouth. He thrusts hard a few times causing the cum to spill out of Yoongi's mouth and dribble down his chin, landing on the floor.
Jimin hisses as he slowly removes himself from Yoongi's mouth, he leans down and Yoongi yanks the underwear out of his mouth before smashing his lips against the blonds. He doesn't care that his mouth is still full of Jimin's cum, he tastes so good he wants him to experience the intoxicating taste too. When their lips part Jimin stands to put his softening cock away. Yoongi stands with him and looks around the room, avoiding eye contact.
"Umm thanks for that, that was .. uhh really good."
Jimin's bewitching smile returns "Yeah, that was amazing cutie can't say I've ever had my underwear shoved into my mouth though, but there is a first time for everything. Come here and I'll treat you good too."
"Well um, no it's okay. Honestly. I may have cum already." he sheepishly replies, still avoiding any damn eye contact.
A small "oh" left his pouty lips "well I'm glad I could have been of assistance."
The two stood awkwardly for a while before Jimin held Yoongi's hand and walked him over to the sink. He made the older man sit on the bench while he cleaned up all the mess he had made. Yoongi's heart couldn't stop beating. There was no need for Jimin to be so nice after what they had just done, but here he was doing something Yoongi actually felt was more intimate than painting the walls of his throat with his cum.
"Ah there ya go, now you can go back into the real world without anyone suspecting a thing.”
They walked outside together in silence, Yoongi had never had a hook up before. Do you crack jokes? Profess your love? Or just act like what happened never did? His mind was a million miles away when soft fingers were suddenly stroking his cheek.
"Please message me anytime you want to see each other again, and I'll be the one doing all the dirty work okay?"
This made Yoongi blush "Yeah okay. Thank you Jimin, truly I had a great night."
And it was the truth, he had so much fun he could relive the moment in his head for the next four years. Amateur Bareback 3-Way #2 wouldn't be needed when the memory of small hands, captivating moans and cum drizzling down his chin was enough to get him hard again. It had been less than 20 minutes. God dammit!
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“I’d rather fight an upper moon”
Pairing: A. Zenitsu x Reader
Summary: When you're the tsuguko of the water pillar, people immediately assume that you can swim or at least you like being in the water in general. So imagine their surprise when you absolutely refuse to even step foot in the ocean.
Words: 1,7K words
Warnings: Mentions about drowning and panic attacks. Minor talk about death but it’s only an offhanded comment. Minor Inosuke slander but it's a joke i swear.
a/n: I’m doing good thank you for asking anon! Thanks for the ask btw i was waiting for my next one, hope you don’t mind the stuff i added to the story!
It was a miracle you even became Giyuu’s tsuguko, it took a lot of pestering on you part and a lot of annoyance on his
But at the end of the day you didn’t regret it one bit, sure the training was gruelling some days but all to become a stronger slayer right?
The best outcome however, was meeting your sweet blond boyfriend
Oyakata-sama had paired you both on the same mission, since not only did your breathing style compliment each other, it was also good experience for the lower levelled slayer
At first you were slightly miffed with him, with the constant whining and asking your hand marriage and all that. But you can't deny that he did look pretty cute.
Zenitsu on the other hand was whipped
You looked so pretty?? He didn't even know someone could look that pretty in the uniforms every slayer had to wear
It was only when you actually watch him slay the demon that you actually stopped seeing him just as a whiny kid, maybe he did have some potential after all
So you sucked it up and tried to make small talk on your way to the butterfly estate, though it mostly consisted of you and him bickering on who actually killed the demon. Boy was so sure that you did it, no way he could have done it and you were soo cool so it had to been you.
After spending your time healing at the butterfly estate bonding with him and the other two boys he introduced as his friends, it was not surprising to see that Zenitsu had developed a huge small crush on you
Obviously the next step is asking you on a date, no one at the estate bat an eye at his confession and hand filled with flowers. What did surprise them was the fact that you said yes.
Zenitsu himself had to blink twice before realising that oh my god you actually said yes, this hasn't happened before what do I do next??
But after getting over his initial shock he immediately latched on to you
You said yes so there's no going back now, you're stuck with him clinging to you forever now
It wasn't so bad really
Things were just going jusssttt fine
That was until,,,
So there was this one time where after you and the whole squad finished a mission, and there just so happened an open ocean a few paces away
Everyone wasn't too badly injured, considering that the mission was pretty easy, so they immediately jumped at the idea of swimming
How bad could it be? A nice relaxing swim in the ocean after a mission, sounds like a luxury to the others
So as Inosuke pulled Tanjiro into the ocean, Nezuko crawled out from her box and sat on the sand. Making a little sand castle, with pieces of broken seashells as decoration. How cute.
Your boyfriend excitedly pulled on your hand, swimming with his gorgeous girlfriend as the sun rose? Sign him right up.
It wasn't until he realised you weren't moving that he realised something was off, no matter how hard he tugged on your arm
He nearly swooned over how strong you were but he noticed how pale your face became
That- that was not normal
Zenitsu tried waving a hand in front your face to snap you out of it, but you kept staring at the ocean like it was an upper moon
"(Y/N)? Are you okay?"
It was there that he found out your fear of the ocean, there was a reason why you couldn't learn deep calm after all
You just hated how it looked like open ocean whenever you would use it, so you simply stopped
Giyuu understood so he never forced you to master it, but no one ever questioned you about it
So your fear of the ocean remained unknown by most, that included your boyfriend
And so he was rightfully concerned when you suddenly starting screaming when Inosuke came along and tried to throw you in the ocean, you nailed a good punch on his face as well
So now with you sitting as far from the beach as possible, and Inosuke's black eye, Zenitsu was torn between yelling at Inosuke for making you panic so much or comforting you instead
But seeing that Nezuko was currently keeping you company, he decided on the first option instead
Meanwhile Nezuko, the sweet bean that she was, was curruntly patting your head to calm you down
She got very concerned when you ran away as far away as possible and curled into ball, and she got even more concerned when you starting hyperventilating
Good thing Tanjiro was there to help, he saw you were going through the first stages of a panic attack, and quickly stopped the fight brewing between Inosuke and Zenitsu
After shooing away the rest of the gang, he did his best to calm you down. He's a little bit clueless on what to do but bby's trying okay
Depending on how you deal with panic attacks he would either help keep you grounded by continously talking about the numorous things he loved about you and all your little quirks that he loved, or instead he would cuddle you and hold you tight while you calmed down
He wouldn't mind doing either, and was glad to sit down and talk about your fear with the ocean.
From then on he kept you away from the ocean as much as possible
He wasn't going to force you to get over your fear just for a nice swim, he cared about you too much for that
But if you turned to him to help you get over your fear then he would gladly help, although he may need a bit of guidence from you or Tanjiro
Overall, he's a very sweet and doting boyfriend as expected from Zenitsu
He's very caring of you as well, maybe even bordering on over-protective when it comes to your fear of the ocean
As in, until he knows your ready to face it, then he will not let you go near any body of deep water that would trigger your panic attacks
One time Inosuke questioned your fear of the ocean, nearly calling you a coward if not for the seething rage that is Zenitsu, but with a little bit of gentle encouragement (mosty from Tanjiro and Zenitsu) you opened up about it
What really made you fear the ocean is not only the looming fear of the deep dark waters
But for some reason, your dear elder cousin thought it was a good idea to tell you of how one of your ancestors drowned in the ocean once
Ever since you dreaded going any where near it, just thinking about it made your spince tingle and your mouth go dry
None of the squad really judged you for it, not after you punched Inosuke's eye out that one time, so you can count on your friends to be there
Sometimes, if you were okay with it of course, they would ask questions it was mostly Inosuke asking them
But Zenitsu would ask some too, just to make sure then if something happens then he wouldn't be a clueless idiot
The questions were mostly, "Why are you so scared? It's just the ocean" those were the ones coming from Inosuke
To which you responded with, "I'd rather fight an upper moon"
The gang knew not to bring it up again, because they know for certain that you would actually fight an upper moon then step foot in the ocean if given the option
And they weren't going to let that happen any time soon
But other questions included, "What kind of fear is it? Is it like you can't move fear or wanting to run away fear?" "What do you feel when it happens (Y/N), do you feel faint or sick?"
None really completely rude of course, they were coming from a good place after all, and they knew not to push your buttons
Inosuke learned that the hard way, and the others didn't really need an example to the learn the lesson too
But one day someone, just a random slayer that discovered your fear of the ocean asked, "How do you train under the water pillar of all people? You would be a terrible tsuguko then if your scared"
To which you responded once again, by beating their ass
In all fairness, the only breathing form that your fear prevented you from learning was the final form that Giyuu created
The endless water that surrounded you when you did it was just too much, but your mentor understood and never forced you to learn it
And you were still a force to be reckoned with, even if you can't master all of the forms
There wasn't a legitement reason to why you stuck with that, it was simply the most comfortable one for you to learn
You've tried learning other breaths before but none of them stuck, and so now here you were the tsuguko of the water pillar
If you want to get over your fear however, they would be very supprotive and help in their own way
Inosuke tries bringing some seashells or pretty things he finds after swiming, to maybe hopefully show you that the ocean isn't so bad
Tanjiro and Nezuko, those sweethearts, try slowly bringing you closer and closer to the edge of the beach over some time. Never really forcing you to move closer but always encouraging when you do
And then there's your boyfriend
Zenitsu, that darling, was the most important factor in you getting over your fear
He not only was the one to calm you down during your panic attacks, but he was also the most encouraging
Every small achievement you made he would celebrate it to no end
You moved a step closer to the ocean? Damn you are such a goddess, how did he manage to date you again? Endless compliments
You manage to stand at the edge of the water? He'll get you any snack you want, just ask and you shall recieve
At the end, no matter if you actively try to get over your fear or not, you'll always have your friends and your doting boyfriend to cheer you on
−○❖○❧ •❁※❁• ☙○❖○−
Hello there everyone! Thank you again anon for requesting, i hope everyone had a good day! See you next week lovelies :D
☼ Masterlist ☼
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