#it will truly be the final yahoo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

urlocalwhumper · 26 days

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my girl and @sowhumpshaped's boy interacting bc yippee yahoo yay (yes that anon was me. again. i should really sign my anons lmfao)

also this is like a weird mix of my pet verse and theirs, tried to keep things consistent but i have adhd memory so do not count on it!! 🫡

anyways,

rayan couldn't believe it. not only had he finally, after years of attempts, been approved for his pet owner's license, but he was also heading to the shelter - not as a volunteer this time, but to finally, finally pick out a pet of his very own.

to say he was excited was an understatement, truly, but he also felt a little bad as he approached the building. he'd been so busy recently, he hadn't been in for volunteer work for a solid two weeks. he supposed it was all worth it now, though.

he only felt more and more excited, almost giddy, as he was brought back towards the kennels. no more pining and yearning, when he left this building, it'd be with his very own pet right by his side.

he already recognized most of the faces he passed, but he still bothered to go kennel-by-kennel anyways. this was possibly the most important decision he'd ever make, and he was going to take it very seriously.

there was one he didn't recognize, though. all the way in the back, curled up as small as possible on its bed, shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, was a pet he'd never seen before. he couldn't even really make out any distinctive features, with the way it was hiding its face in its arms. it was blonde, he could at least say that, with floppy little dog ears of a matching color, but he couldn't pick out much else.

"when did this one get in?" he asked, frowning in sympathy. one of the other volunteers - who he admittedly didn't know very well - glanced at the pet in question and sighed.

"last week, i think." they said. "real nasty case. she was confiscated from her last owner after heavy suspicions of abuse, the pet hospital sent her here once she didn't need constant medical attention anymore."

they clicked their tongue derisively. "i don't know how someone could do that to their pet." they sighed again. "either way, she's very skittish. doesn't bite, though. not even if you corner her."

so it's a girl. rayan thought distantly, blinking silently as he processed that load of information.

"that's- that's horrible!" he spluttered, once his brain finally caught up with him. he glanced back at the kennel. the pet inside had raised her head a little bit, and he could make out one shining green eye looking warily at him. "what- what happened?"

the volunteer spun their ring of keys around their finger, before selecting one and unlocking the gate to the kennel. "see for yourself."

electing not to comment on that weirdly ominous answer, he obliged and stepped inside the kennel. almost immediately, the pet inside shrunk back, like she could somehow manage to retreat even further into the far corner of the space.

rayan frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in worry. he didn't want to scare her anymore - the poor thing had probably already been scared enough for several lifetimes. so, with a soft grunt, he got down and sat on the kennel floor, a good six feet away from her.

"hi." he said, giving his best encouraging smile. "i'm rayan. i'm not going to hurt you." he kept his tone as soft and soothing as he possibly could. he eyed the tag on her collar, too far away to actually read it. "could i know your name too?"

she just stared at him for a few moments, sizing him up with her one visible eye, before slowly, cautiously rising to her hands and knees and taking a single step out of her bed.

and the moment she turned to fully face him, he immediately understood what the other volunteer meant by see for yourself.

only one of her eyes had been visible because the other was completely missing. almost the entire left side of her face, only ending less than an inch above her mouth, was made up of the rough scar tissue left by severe burns. where her left eye would have been, there was simply a shallow divot.

it took everything in him not to visibly recoil, because he knew it'd be interpreted the wrong way. the poor thing would probably think he was disgusted by her, when in reality, he was nearly floored by the depths of the cruelty she'd had to endure. even her tail, which was tucked firmly between her legs at the moment, had an odd bend to it, like it had been broken and healed crooked.

as she got closer to him, he could see just how terribly she was trembling, the way her ribs were clearly visible against her flesh. her single eye held so much fear, and her ears were pinned back against her skull, yet she continued to approach anyways.

until finally, she sat down in front of him, hunched and small and afraid. he wanted so badly to just reach out and comfort her, but he knew that escalating that quickly would likely scare her more.

slowly, so she could still keep a close eye on his movements and back away if she felt threatened, he reached for her collar. black leather - heavy duty, but impersonal. "NANA" was engraved on the front of the tag in bold, capital letters. The back was bare.

"nana." he repeated. her gaze immediately snapped from his hand back to his face. "is that your name?"

after a few hesitant seconds, she gave a single nod.

he smiled. "it's nice to meet you, nana." he said. "would it be okay if i pet you?"

she looked almost incredulous that he was asking, but nodded again anyways.

the moment his hand started to card through her hair, it was like her demeanor did a complete 180. she all but melted into the touch, leaning heavily into his hand as he scratched behind her ears. he could even see her tail starting to wag out of the corner of his eye.

poor thing. he thought sadly. is this really all it takes?

"you were just scared, weren't you?" he said. "scared i was gonna hurt you..." he couldn't even entertain the thought. "well, everything's okay. i'm not gonna hurt you, see?"

to his shock, she stepped closer again, and curled up in his lap, looking up at him with and eye full of pleas for more pets. he couldn't help but laugh to himself as he obliged.

"so," the volunteer from earlier said, nearly sending rayan jumping out of his skin - he'd forgotten they were there! "think you've found a keeper?" they gave him a knowing smile.

he looked down at the pet curled up in his lap, feeling the joy of finally achieving his dream once again.

he beamed as brightly as he could. "i- yeah! i think i did!"

#hiiii. lol #rayan is a lot harder to write than i thought #i feel like he's much better w/ handling pets than people. especially pets like nana who can't speak themselves #talking to her kinda is like talking to an animal tbh. except the animal does fully understand everything you say and you are aware of this #idk. she's pupy. so he gets to act more put together than he actually is bc she won't know the difference or really care tbh #nana has very simple wants. like 'master who does not cause me grievous bodily harm'#she dgaf abt how socially apt he is #also yes she is literally pupy. that's really the only thing from my pet verse that carried over lmfao #damn i've been sitting here YAPPING i should shut up lmfao #mine

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rosedom · 1 month

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Yahoo! May I request a Wriothesley invitation? Also! If it's possible, can the reader/player be a seller/vendor to the Fortress of Meropide thats selling..- ahem ahem adult toys?? And if possible, imagine Wriothesley not having enough and just kept using it until reader/player came to visit on their success and found him going crazy of it on his desk???

It might be too much to ask but hopefully you understand what I'm going for here 👍

(I'm claiming 🪼 anon, is that okie?)

Xoxo, kisses hugs <3

HELLO !! xoxo ^^ i totally get what ur laying down, and i fully expect to write this at some point—but i just wanted to answer this now to let u know that someone's already claimed 🪼 ┐⁠(⁠‘⁠～⁠`⁠;⁠)⁠┌

but i don't wanna leave u hanging entirely, so . . . imagine reader gifting wrio one 'cos his grace deserves the best of the best, amirite? and wrio and reader dancing around each other and sending letters back and forth until wrio finally gets the balls to send an invitation, saying, hey, the fortress really needs some more (ya know . . . business, politics, alladat: just a cover-up for what he truly needs) . . .

except u send off a new letter with you, sending back saying you're coming, but the letter gets lost in transit and wrio thinks u left him on delivered (LMAO), or that maybe ur too busy to visit, yada yada . . . so he's all alone in his office in the fortress, fucking himself silly on the cock you gifted him . . . 'til u walk in and see him spread out on the desk, a mess of slick and lube smeared across the wood and the dildo's silicone base 😵‍💫😵‍💫

wrio is repressed and touch-starved as hell. u can guarantee i'll treat his ass RIGHT !!

#roseyapping #>< so sorry anon !!!!#i'll eventually get to an actual fic of this #. . . probably !

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winterspellsfrozenkit · 2 years

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Why Minna de Yahoo is important

So, if you play Twisted Wonderland on the English server, you’ve probably heard about Neige’s song being cut. While we don’t know what happened to cause the cut, you can get through the story without it. However, it was important to the story and while you can watch a translation for it, I’m going to give a “cliff notes” version.

Neige’s song, Minna de Yahoo, is a cover of Heigh Ho from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. It’s listed as a popular children’s song, known all over the world of Twisted Wonderland, but the way the song is done is very catchy, enough so that it made Heigh Ho even more of an earworm than it already was (It’s why a lot of people were upset they couldn’t play it). Now with the song missing, Vil believing that Neige singing a children’s song with choreography that looks as if the dwarves will topple over outplayed him to the point he tried to off Neige via poison can come off as super petty and confusing because people haven’t heard the song. If you haven’t heard it, go listen to it because it definitely is as catchy as Absolutely Beautiful.

To see why this is a threat to Vil, we have to ask what’s Vil’s ultimate goal in beating Neige? To try and break free from being typecasted again.

Neige’s beauty stems from appearing more approachable and more relatable than Vil. It’s why he’s cast as the lead for a ton of media. For a Lord of the Rings example, where Vil would be Thranduil beautiful, Neige would be more like Frodo. That difference has, for years, led to Vil being typecasted as a beautiful villain who torments the hero, who is often portrayed by Neige, as shown by the fact Neige calls him by a nickname, showing they’ve worked together enough Neige considers him close enough to do that. Vil has been bullied by kids for his roles and he’s heard adults gossip how unapproachable he is. Vil believes if he can beat Neige at the VDC/SDC, which acts as a popularity contest, directors and producers for movies and TV will stop constantly placing him in the beautiful villain role and he can finally be the one on the stage until the end. His goal is to break free from a role that he is consistently forced into.

Minna de Yahoo is a viable threat of a song because not only is it a song that practically everyone knows, but it also showcases Neige’s strength as the approachable beauty everyone can relate to that gets him chosen as the lead role over and over again. Neige picked it because he wanted to sing a song everyone could sing with him. It’s simple enough that even if you don’t speak Japanese, you can pick the song up really quickly. Absolutely Beautiful is a lot harder to learn by comparison. Vil has come up with an original song and choreography, trained the NRC tribe to practically perfection, and put so much effort in for Neige to beat him in again being beautiful by way of relatability to an audience with a simple children’s song that all the years of being typecasted, bullied, viewed as this unapproachable beauty that no one can really relate to, and being denied the one thing he wants, causes him to snap. He forgoes his work ethic to attempt to take out Neige all because Minna de Yahoo shows off the strengths Neige has that Vil has been considered to lack.

For the second part where Minna de Yahoo was cut, where RSA and NRC sing together it shows off how much of a pro Vil truly is. While most of the NRC tribe is having trouble singing the song cheerily, Vil, who has tears in his eyes from being so upset he lost again, is still able to sing the song as if he’s happy; there’s a smile on his face, no tremor in his voice, he’s got the enthusiasm the song requires, and it matches Neige’s voice well. The only way you can tell he’s upset is that there are tears in his eyes. Vil, despite being upset, is able to give the performance the audience wants or needs. This time, Minna de Yahoo is showcasing Vil’s strengths. He truly is a professional and could fit the lead role as a hero if someone would give him the chance.

While we’re still waiting for an answer as to why Minna de Yahoo got cut, the frustration isn’t only from the fact we won’t get the rewards of the Twistune or the fact we don’t get to play the song, but from the things the song does to help boost the story. It was in the main story for a reason, which is why much of the fanbase wants it back.

#twisted wonderland #minna de yahoo #chapter 5 #vil schoenheit #neige leblanche #minna yahoo #twst en #twisted wonderland en

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miniimapp · 1 year

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4*TOWN Giving and Receiving Small Acts of Love

Gen ;; Fluff - Headcanons

Warnings ;; Sickeningly fluffy,, you may throw up + Swearing :/

Proofread + edited ;; Nope lol

Auth. Note ;; WELCOME TO DAY 1 OF THE 4TOWN ADVENT CALENDAR !! Every day leading up to Christmas you will be getting some sweet sweet 4town content from moi !!

You all wanted it, you went for it and baby you got it !! :D This has been running around my head for a while so I'm glad I finally get to share lol

Enjoy !! <3

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Aaron T - Master of Laughter

T's love language is quality time and physical touch

He feels all bubbly when he knows your undivided attention is on him

You showing interest in and listening to what he has to say ?? Blushing so hard his face might explode

You actively asking him about his passions and hobbies and offering to do those things with him ?? Mans is passing out from cardiac arrest lmao

There is truly no time T is happier than when he's hanging out with you and your friendship groups combined

Speaking of friends, T tries so hard to impress your friends

He wants so badly to be accepted by everyone in your life

You've told him multiple times that he doesn't need their permission but he's said if they're important to you then it's important to him that they like him

T wants to be the best for you

You definitely melted when he went on a whole speech about that lol

T likes doing mundane tasks with you

Like,, doing the dishes

If T's the one washing the dishes he'll try to get through as many as possible as quickly as he can so he can poke fun at you for being slow

And if he's drying he'll pat the object once, put it on the rack and then stand staring you once again calling you slow

Tell T to do a better job and he'll tell you to show him how

He'll stand behind you, hands covering yours as you wash or dry the plates, cups and cutlery together

Or he'll start a water fight

Either way it's never boring between the two of you

T will make you laugh so hard you double over during the most boring of chores

Speaking of,,

Man is so obsessed with your laughter

He loves every giggle, every shriek, every snort and cackle, ugly or cute, beautiful or ear piercing

There's rarely a serious moment with T

He's too focused on making you smile

Seeing you smile and laugh and generally just light up encourages T in a way he never had before

Like,, you two will be cuddling realises his craving for your unbridled laughter

So out of fucking nowhere he'll spout the most random shit

"You ever seen a shaved husky before? Shits wild, man..."

(PLEASE NEVE SHAVE YOUR HUSKY ITS SO BAD FOR THEM OML THEY DO BE LOOKING FUNNY AF BUT STILL)

And of course he'll make a big thing of showing you with the most dramatic overreactions anyone's ever seen

But it didn't start out like this

T realised the random comments at the weirdest of times got you to laugh during another cuddle session

You two had been sharing some kisses (spicy, I know) when he pulled away with the most confused and lose expression you'd ever seen on him

"Are you alright? Is something the matter?"

A pause

"Are narwhals to unicorns what mermaids are to humans?"

...

ADSFRHDHJDTE WHAT ??

You can't help but burst out laughing because wtf ?????

And the worst part ??

You didn't have an answer

So the two of you spent the rest of the night on google as if that would provide answers to a question ABOUT FANTASY CREATURES (excluding nawhals and humans)

At one point T gave up and decided Bing and then Yahoo was the way to go 💀

After that day T purposely started interrupting things and spouting random shit just to see you giggle

And it works

Every

Fucking

Time

You'd be mad about him interrupting if he didn't light up every time he saw you crack even the smallest smile

But as well as spending time with you T loves it when you touch him

A brush of fingers, a peck on the cheek, a hair ruffle...

Speaking of hair ruffling, T loves it when you play with his curls

Literally just reaching a hand out to touch his head has T melting

T is literally a cat with a case of zoomies on crack and the only way to tame him is head scratches-

And just casually running a hand through his hair ??

Knees ?? Buckled

Hands ?? Shaking

Mind ?? Melting

Hotel ?? Trivago

Overall T is a very sweet lover, always looking for your laughter and small smiles alike and hey he happens to receive a couple scalp massages for his troubles he wouldn't be complaining...

Jesse - Thoughtful King

Jesse's love language is gift giving and physical touch

One thing about Jesse's gifts is that they're either expertly handmade or ridiculously expensive

In his mind you deserve something that's had lots of effort put into it

If he can't make something for you, whether he's busy or art blocked or he's just not proud of the piece, then he's spending his money on something that's equal to the amount of effort he would've put into your gift himself

Sweet ass motherfucker istg

Worst part is Jesse wasn't even trying to be romantic when he was explaining this to you

Simply factual and nonchalant as if he wasn't giving you the biggest compliment you'd ever heard

And still you couldn't help getting unbelievably flustered as he explained his gift giving ideology

And he caught on and immediately started teasing you

Fucking bitch

Not every gift he gives you will be big

Not every gift will break the bank

(metaphorically because Jesse = rich)

But he will put so much thought into everything he gives you

Every flower, every pendant, every chocolate and every item of clothing

Every gift he even considers giving you goes through heavy thought processes

What's the price tag ??

How much effort was put into it ??

Will you use it/wear it ??

Does it suit you ??

And most importantly: will you love it ??

Because at the end of the day, price tag, the effort and usability doesn't matter if you don't love his gift

You could use it everyday but if it doesn't bring you joy then what's the point ??

Jesse has little post-it notes of all your favourite things

I think he started out with just a spare sheet of paper but there was so much he wanted to write and then so many gift ideas that he had to extend the page

So now he has a sticky note disaster on his scrap paper, bullet point list

You know what Jesse loves getting in return for his gifts (not that he'd ever expect anything in return but yknow)

Kisses

Cheek kisses, forehead kisses, proper kisses, any kiss he can steal from you he will

If his kids ask about whatever he's making you followed by the inevitable "Why?" that drives every parent insane Jesse will simply reply "The kiss tax." and then never explain

Joking, of course he explain but only after thorough playful nagging from his kids

The "kiss tax" means that for every gift Jesse gives you, you have to give him a kiss

AND HIS KIDS STARTED DOING THE SAME FUCKING THING

Holy shit it was so cute

His youngest made you a really cute bracelet and then stood there staring at you as you put it on

After a weird staring contest they blurt out "Kiss tax." and start making grabby hands at you

It's pretty easy to put together what's going on and what they mean knowing Jesse

And well, who are you to deny their adorable request ??

So you pick them up, balancing them on your hip, and place a gentle kiss on their forehead

...and then their cheek

...and then all over their face because duh

Jesse walks into the room and finds his youngest giggling up a storm as you pepper their face with kisses

He nearly dies on the spot, I won't lie to you

Ever since then his kids have started to expect a kiss or hug from you, whichever they prefer at the time, whenever they give you a gift

And you notice their gift giving, a trait they obviously got from their dad, increases

Hmmmmm,, what a coincidence huh ??

Jesse also enjoys long, tight hugs where you sway from side to side and stay there for as long as possible

Speaking of, he gives the best hugs no questions asked

A group huddle with you and his kids ?? Jesse couldn't be happier

Overall Jesse is a very charming lover who will always have a soft spot for you and his kids (especially if the two are combined)

Aaron Z - Flustered Flirt

Z's love language is quality time and acts of service

Z will always make time for you

You call in the middle of training ?? Sorry guys, gotta take this call

You want to show him something cool ?? Come right in. What ?? Working on something ?? No, Z's completely free right now...

You want to eat together ?? Lunch is already prepared, darling

And along similar lines, Z will do anything you ask of him (within reason, of course)

We all know how much Z despises social events

Too many people

Too crowded

It gets way too loud

And hot

And sweaty

And Z would rather just cuddle up with you back home

Or if he's feeling dramatic he may prefer to jump into a viper pit

Spice it up a little

But if you asked him to, Z would go anywhere

Social events are more bearable when you're by his side

Whenever he starts to feel drained and uncomfy, just one glance at you fuels him for another couple of minutes

The quicker Z gets through this, the quicker he'll have you in his arms, wrapped up in blankets in bed

And hey, if Z is feeling particularly drained he'll tuck his face into your neck and hide away from the world for a while

Once he starts to get his energy back up he'll playfully blow on your neck as you're talking to distract you

But there's always a way for you to get him back because there's more than a couple sure fire ways to fluster him beyond belief

For example,,

Exist

That'll get Z every time, zero chance of failure

Or even mentioning the fact you even slightly tolerate his presence

And if you say anything more than tolerate,, perhaps like ??

Mans is a flushed, boneless puddle at your feet

He'll definitely hide his face in your neck after that !!

4town obviously has many promotional events alongside their normal concerts and meets and whatnot

Go to any of those and Z falls for you all over again

It makes him unbelievably happy and proud when he sees you rooting for him

Just knowing that no matter what direction the band takes that you'll be there for him means the world

Z truly loves you and you rooting for him gives him the confidence to be proud of himself

Another thing Z loves to do is little chores that you could do but dont want to

Like,, no one wants to empty the dish washer

Literally no one

But Z knows how much you hate doing it so he goes out of his way to empty it every morning before going to the studio so you don't have to

What a sweetheart honestly-

If you're struggling with work Z will try his best to help

Like,, he'll have no fucking clue what he's doing but he'll try his best

Honestly you spend more time giggling at Z and swooning than you do actually getting any work done

Don't tell him he's distracting you more than he's helping you,, he will be distraught !!

I feel like Z is a little self concious

One thing that comes to mind more than anything else is his height

Mans towers over most people and its like he can never hide

Z hates the feeling of unwanted eyes being on him

It's a love-hate relationship tbh

Hate being the more prominent feeling

So alongside mentioning even tolerating his existence,, if you tell him a reason why you love him for every inch that contributes to his height (punctuated with a kiss of course) he will simple evaporate

When I tell you that you'll be able to feel the heat rolling off this boy in waves

Overall Z is a bashful sweetheart who tries his best to step out of his comfort zone to be with you whenever he can

Robaire - Charmer in 2 Languages

Robaire's love language is words of affirmation and physical touch

The physical touch is strong in this one,, let me tell you

Robaire gets stressed way too much

Being the leader of the band does that to a guy

So 9 times out of 10 Ro's very tense

One way you're able to get him to wind down is playing back tracing games

Truly the most relaxing thing to exist fr

Wherever your fingertips explore the muscles underneath begin to relax

Soon enough you'll have a puddle of Robaire in your lap, blissed out of his mind lmao

Okay okay,, but if yall are actually playing then Robaire is suddenly in this shit to win it

Like,, you were taken aback at first with how serious he would get over these games

Guess the letter ?? Ro's analysing the entire alphabet to match the structure of each letter with what he feels on his back

Guess the number ?? Mans is doing some quadratic formula algebra bullshit to figure out this number

It's literally the number 2

Guess the shape ?? Immediately starts doing the area of a circle off the top of his head

It's probably a triangle

Mans is unbelievably serious about these back tracing games fr

Let's get you some chill Ro ffs

But sometimes Robaire likes to play games of his own by confusing the fuck out of you

Like,, you're just trying to trace a square on his back and he's yelling out shapes that you swear don't even exist

"Circle!"

"No."

"Hexagon!"

"No."

"Decagon!"

"No."

"Double deckahedron!"

"No...?"

"Heptathlon!"

"Are these even shapes..?"

At some point or another you figure out that Robaire's just winding you up

The variety of creative threats you sent his way was almost as wide as the range of his guesses

Ro loves these little moments with you

Being the leader of a world famous boyband is tougher than most would assume so its nice to have a little down time

No matter where Robaire is in the world he knows when he gets back to you he's got lots of relaxation to look forward to

That's what really keeps him going when he wants to quit tbh

Flirting with you in French is another thing Ro loves to do

He loves watching your reactions

Whether you get bashful and embarrassed at certain lines

Whether you fire back with your own that have his face heating up too

Or whether it flies completely over your head and he has to repeat in English

No matter how you respond though,, Ro will cherish it

Robaire collects your reaction like trophies and every time he sees a new one he reacts like a little kid in a sweet shop

He always says that you are the peace in his life, the shelter within the storm..and even if your time together doesn't last as long as he hopes it does, he will continue to cherish you for the rest of his days

So overall Robaire is an absolute charmer of a lover, always looking for ways to make you feel special but more often than not he'll find himself being enchanted by you first

Tae Young - Sanctuary Sharer

Tae Young's love language is gift giving and quality time

I honestly can't remember where I've seen this before but Tae is very very protective of the doves he fosters

Ain't nobody allowed anywhere near them

Even the guys have a hard time getting closer than a metre away from their recovery area

And you can bet there's at least 5 security guards outside at all times

Like I said,, protective

Tae can't bear to think that one of his doves could get hurt again because he let the wrong person near them

It would literally break his heart of gold

So when he lets you near them ??

Literally helps one perch itself on your finger ??

I think it would be a bit of an understatement to say you were shocked

You'd heard all of these stories about Tae literally biting people to stop them from touching his doves and he just ?? gave one ?? to you ??

But once you get over your shock you fall in love with the dove on your finger,, Maple

You start to stroke his head and can't hold back your smile when he starts making little bird noises

Holy fuck,, this is the best thing you've ever done in your life

Forget that one time you nearly did the splits,, this is your new greatest achievement in life !!

Maple is your new favourite being,, just look at his little face !!

Your so wrapped up in the little dove perched on your finger that you don't notice Tae practically vibrating a little bit away from you

His hands are clenched and his cheeks are puffed out,, he's almost bouncing with urge to squeeze you in a bear hug and he's ignoring the need to bite you also.. you're just too adorable right now !!

Bro has the worst case of cuteness aggression known to man

To calm himself he grabs your other hand and squeezes it as gently as he can manage and gives you a blinding smile that widens when you return it with your own

Spending time with you and his children doves makes Tae's heart feel full

He's also likes bringing you little gifts in the form of flowers

If Tae sees a random flower (read: weed with petals) he'll pick it for you

He thinks these small flowers are cute and pretty and that's what he think about you !!

Daisies are his most common gift but it really depends on what flowers he sees and which one he thinks you'll like the best

Tae loves gifting you flowers in person

He likes seeing your reactions,, your soft smiles get him through the toughest of days (and Z's relentless dance practice)

But if Tae's busy or feeling extra romantic he'll send a dove to give you the flower

If he has the time he'll be watching from round some corner with the sweetest nervous expression

Tae will never not be nervous when giving you a gift

What if you don't like it ??

What if it's not good enough for you ??

Of course his worries never take place in reality but he's still as nervous as he was when he first started giving you flowers

Every time feel like the first time to Tae.

Overall Tae is an incredibly sweet partner, always waiting for you with a flower in one hand and his heart in the other, ready to give both of them to you

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Hope you enjoyed !! <3

#4town #4*town #4town headcanons #4town aaron t #4town aaron t x reader #4town jesse #4town jesse x reader #4town aaron z #4town aaron z x reader #4town robaire #4town robaire x reader #4town tae young #4town tae young x reader #acts of love #4town christmas countdown

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hometoursandotherstuff · 2 years

Photo

I’m truly torn over this house. You know how I hate to see completely renovated historic homes in modern white & gray, but they made this 1860 one in Grosse Ile, Michigan so stinkin’ elegant, I kind of like it. What do you think? Priced at $1.2M.

Firstly, you can see 2 things. It has the original door, and it’s stark white inside.

Immediately inside the door is a gleaming black baby grand and you’ll notice no restored wood floors here. They’ve been replaced by marble.

I can’t tell if the columns are original, but they’ve installed elegantly pooled curtains on the double doors.

The newel post and railing are original. Notice the tassels tied to each post.

I’m thinking that the columns are original and were just painted white w/gold trim.

Wooden floor in here. So fancy, though. Don’t know if the fireplace is original, but the mirrored wall is definitely new.

The thing is, if a buyer doesn’t have this kind of furniture, what’s left? White walls.

The dining room is just a white room w/traditional furniture, but the pocket doors remain.

I don’t like the kitchen, simply b/c I don’t like cabinetry they chose. Also looks like they opened a wall that may have been a hallway.

New family room and conservatory.

Here’s a home office. I can’t distinguish btwn purple & gray, so all the gray in the family room and this office looks purple to me, but I think it must be gray.

I kind of like the gold wood in here.

The bath is new and I’m not that fond of the new doors.

Yahoo, finally some original architecture upstairs. All painted white, though.

New bath.

Interesting decor. The carpet looks commercial.

Yikes! Look at the 3rd level.

Main bdrm and en suite.

2nd & 3rd of 4 bdrms.

3rd of 4 baths.

They invested a lot of money and made it like a new house, BUT, the bottom line is that they could’ve spent that money to restore it to it’s original look. Did they ruin it or improve it?

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/24850-E-River-Rd-Grosse-Ile-MI-48138/88190702_zpid/

#renovated historic home #modernized historic home #architecture #long post

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mellowwillowy · 3 months

Text

"aa, test test. Great, greetings, fellow guests of the Capital of LIfE! You are currently listening to the Master of the Theatre, XL, announcing a new event that is being held after taking into consideration the Master of the Archive, Vellanie."

"𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 '𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈'. 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝑾𝒆𝒅𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒅𝒂𝒚, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 '𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒗𝒆' 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒈𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒔. 𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅,"

"ah, of course, most people only recognize the LIfE Project's casts, for example, Yulian, our number one star... Blue, the second star... and so on. I can tooootallllyyy see people having a pleasant chat with the men! CatboX has no regard anymore the moment the Halloween event took place!"

"Of course, the guests are allowed to speak with us as well, my name is Vellanie and I am in charge of all the archives in this Capital," "And I am XL, in charge of all the stories you have read so far, re-enact on the theatre stage for you to spectate!"

"Uhm, I am Brille, I am not an important cast but I am what people consider to be a... personal assistant? Or perhaps a pocket tour guide... ah, I'm not sure, I'm here to help you find an archive you can't find... a librarian? Ahh!"

𝐋𝐈𝐟𝐄 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰:

"Greetings, are you supposed to be my said 'Spouse'? Hmu... I'll do my best to love you, even if it's only momentarily." Yulian the Corruption

"Yahoo, aww, look at you, my beloved 'lover'. I'll definitely treat you like one for as long as this event lasts!" Blue the Boyfriend

"Oh? I'm glad you are not asleep anymore. It feels nice being able to speak with you, well, to be able to receive a reply from you and not only just a one-sided chat... ...Let's talk a lot to make up all the lost time okay?" Eleanor the Finale

"Ah, you are a rather pesky one... what do you want? Hm? Don't expect too much out of me, I can only do so less but just talking with you." Seth the Resistance

"I actually take no part in this but since some might come at me, kukuku, come at me then, I'll show you how an adult play, and not just a mere child play." A-01 the Omission

Other Available: Eve the Regular, Vellanie the Time, ... (You name it)

𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐛𝐨𝐗 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰:

"Heeeeeyyyy! Now that's the spirit! Hm? Are you here to talk with me? (shifts into Marlon) Or me? Hehe, don't worry, I'll be the gentleman that you love... (shifts into M! A-Li) Or me? Kyaaahaaaa!!! Come now, give me a hug, give me a smooch, (shifts into Irina) Or me? Ah? Do you need any help in magic or alchemy? (shifts into Adora) Or me? Hey, stop bothering my tail. Hm? I know the ribbon looks good on the tail yeah? Heh, you've got the eyes, child of man, (shifts into...)--" "Ooookaayyyyy okay, time's up!" XL the Capricious

"It truly is a pleasure to be spared just a sliver of your voice... allow me to make the most out of your time, dear guest." Noel the Unbent

"Ahaha! You chose me, of course, you did! Now, what should we talk about? I'd love to have a chat with you while you let me sleep on your lap--no? (pouts)" Erickson the Chosen

"Why hello, dear esteemed guest, what brings you here? Oh? You'd like to... aha... why of course I'd be content to have a chat with you though please do keep in mind that nothing comes in free, kukuku." Caelus the Henchman

Other Available: A lot.

I bet it'll mostly only on Yulian lol.

Event closed on the 17th of January.

#LIfE Project #Theatric Guest #CatboX

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rinnelovebot · 2 years

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Omg hiiii! Hope you're doing well! Can I ask for the letters O, S and Z for Niki please? Hope you have a wonderful day! Take care of yourself and make sure to rest too :)

A/N: IM FINALLY FREE FROM SCHOOL YAHOO

*ೃ༄ Niki Shiina + O, S, Z

*ೃ༄ Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Niki is pretty open to you from the very start of your relationship — but you only begin to understand him on a deeper level after you’ve been dating for awhile. It’s not really that he slowly opens up, it’s more that it takes awhile to truly understand him as a person, and his values.

*ೃ༄ Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Niki isn’t very protective over you, but he does worry about you every now and then. If he sees that you’re in trouble or in a tough situation, he’ll absolutely swoop in and help you out the best that he can. He loves you very much, and he wouldn’t want to risk something bad happening to you. Though he would never ask you outright, he would like for you to be somewhat protective over him. He likes knowing that he’s safe with you, and that you’re there to back him up.

*ೃ༄ Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Niki has a habit of seeking you out in his sleep. He whines, and whines, and whines until he can feel you against him. He paws at the bedsheets and shimmies his body closer to where he thinks you’re going to be. And if he’s lucky, you’ll be there to take him into your arms. He does this when you’re not there as well, retiring with a huff and pouting as he settles back down once he realizes.

#marchie scribbles #ensemble stars #enstars #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #niki shiina #niki shiina x reader

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hawkinsschoolcounselor · 2 years

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A conversation has started about whether Stranger Things is guilty of queerbaiting.

Yahoo may not be in the upper echelon of media, but it's still a mainstream media outlet. The fact that one of their articles addresses the possibility of queerbaiting lends the argument some legitimacy.

The Duffers will either have to try and ride out this response or be forced to address it one way or another.

#stranger things 4 spoilers #byler

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himebushou · 8 months

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I finished watching Shaman King 2021 yesterday! Some scattered thoughts on Episodes 38-52!

So much happened in this episode but absolutely everything has been wiped from my brain because WHAT is Marco's battle outfit —

Episode 38

Episode 39

I really need Team The Ren to win this fight!

Yoh finally gets to share his big news, lol

Man, the X-Laws' reveal was a big deal but again, it went at a 100 miles an hour so there wasn't much space/time to absorb everything... and I can't believe how huge that table has gotten, lol

Marco is. A dope.

Episode 40

For me, a Team Horohoro fan, this episode was... truly a lot. I want to know his full story (and despite what Yoh and Ren say, I know that they do, too). He was seriously amazing and guh, just such a fantastic character. I loves the kanji and etymology lesson from Hao, too.

I'm still kinda shocked that Yoh is back in the Shaman Fight as I thought that his being out of the game was a massive divergence that was going to set the series apart, but the way things have worked out is pretty cool!

And the Five Elemental warriors are gonna come from Gandhara, huh? Nice!

The new ending is GORGEOUS. Whoa whoa.

(Also, finally getting some closure for why Yoh has felt so off — poor chilled boy is so stressed.)

Episode 41

hjdjd THIS OST IS OUTSTANDING

I think Marco is dead dead (unless he'll be revived?) and phew, the stuff with the X-Laws' satellite was cool! ALTHOUGH. I'm wondering what the heck they saw that made Hao so damn angry.

Sati doesn't waste any time taking prisoners fjdk

YOH VS HIS ANCESTOR? NICE NICE NICE!

Honestly, some moments have been jawdropping fjhfh

And Oh!Oni was back! And beloved Matamune!

I love this Yoh and Amidamaru focus, eee

Episode 42

I am just becoming increasingly incoherent EVERYTHING IS SO EXCITING but phew, so many people kicked the bucket in this ep?

I am emo about Yohsen oh maaan

I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE HAS BEEN THIS BIG SECRET ALLIANCE BETWEEN GANDARA AND THE PARENTS AND MATAMUNE FHDJ YOWWW

Episode 43

And now one of Manta's relatives is getting in on the action and trying to nab the Great Spirit PHEWWW

Jun having trained with Sati? Whoa! And having the mana to resurrect THREE people? When Faust could only do one? I have some questions, but I'm happy my girl is involved!

But since Anna has also mastered the Ultra Senji Ryakketsu, surely she should also be able to resurrect people?

This is so wild but it's exciting so I'll roll with it!

Episode 44

ANNA VS HAO and there are still so many secrets there? THE TENSION.

And then the coffee!! I'm so glad that Yohsen is somehow still around fjfjf

Though damn, Hao, you cheapskate: pay your damn bill!

Tao Ran and Tao Yúan on screen together, yahoo! (Flipping heck, I loved those moments when Ren was so embarrassed about his family cheering him on, lolol)

BUT BLOODY HELL THIS BATTLE. TBH I really want Team The Ren to win because I do feel that they've got Yoh outclassed... the Ren/Horo lightning/ice combo is just too good. Though wow, Horohoro is MAD.

Episode 45

I'm so close to the end and I'm so sad!

Phew, so we find out which elements the boyos are going to have! I was fully expecting Yoh to have fire, so I was super surprised that it'll be Lyserg instead. Joco with the 'Wind of Change' makes sense, as does Ren with lightning (though I'm surprised that this was an element over metal, tbh, especially since Ren made some comments about Yoh's mastery of metal where Spirit of Sword was concerned) and Horohoro with water. Yoh as the sturdy earth guy is good.

(I'm slightly angsty for Ryu... there wasn't much of an explanation from Sati and Gandhara about precisely why the Elemental Warriors had to be kiddos, apart from the established conversation about adults knowing their ceilings. I assume that there's a bit more detail in the manga.)

This fight against the rest of the world, though? Huh, dramatic! I'm a bit sketchy about the whole laser thing becaaause I thought that was spiritual energy that was fired at the island, but it couldn't have been if the whole world is aware of it? So I have questions!

Everyone chillding in the hot spring is so cute, good gracious.

Episode 46

Wow, show's over. Hao is the Shaman King.

Episode 47

HOW is this going to wrap up in a satisfying way when we still have another 8 Patch Officiants to get through djdjd the Lyserg OST hits so haaaard...

Episode 48

Waaaa the adults are having a barbecue and the kids are fighting for their lives and we are losing healers left and right and Opacho can read minds and there are still SO MANY REVELATIONS crikeyyyy

Episode 49

The tone changes are so odd to keep up with; one second, Redseb and Seyrarm are dying and the next, Kalim is bringing everyone dinner and the guys are taking a break to recover mana when it's been explicitly stated they have 15 hours to save the world! This is so whack to me.

WAIT I nearly missed that there was a ton of stuff after the credits and djhff Horohoro doesn't like his full name?

TIME FOR MY BOY'S BACKSTORYYYY

Episode 50

Oh man, the way Tamiko died was actually harrowing and then she's revealed to be Kororo and Ren's just like. Horohoro is now in dope mode we must ignore him fhfjjlfj

Ren has been taking on most of these fights and his battle against Nichrom was swift, but cool; I loved Joco vs Thalim though — and Thalim himself was adorable!

Episode 51

ALL THE ELEMENTAL SPIRITS VS HAO!

I'm weeping Shaman King is so special the whole thing is just WE WILL DEFEAT THE BADDIE WITH THE POWER OF LOVE.

urgh urgh this OST!!

I'M NOT REAAADY DOR THIS TO END

Episode 52

I definitely cried during the last episode because parts of the ending were so beautiful; everyone coming together to show Hao that he could be saved — that salvation is in accepting your humanity and believing in the humanity of others. And I found Hao's mother's words so freaking soothing... I'm glad that Hao missing his mother was foreshadowed earlier, but we could have had more of that, I think.

And sure, they haven't fixed the world by 2007, but that is OKAY — most of them are around 22 and at that age, I was a wreck! So they have time and their lives to look forward to and... and I guess I disagree with the folks who say that the end of Shaman King is bad because they feel 'everything was pointless'; there's a lot to do and, even with guardian ghosts, shamans can't do everything alone.

I think this is an anime I could definitely rewatch, at some point. Wow. I love these characters and, as much as I griped about this, that and the other, I loved this story.

And I think it's so interesting that Yoh just. Didn't end up as the Shaman King djbdfh that;s definitely not what I was expecting!

#shaman king #wow my feelings

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coochiequeens · 10 months

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Lance Bass and his husband went through two rounds of IVF and worked with 10 egg donors before their twins were born. He says the children didn't show him any affection in the first year of their life.

By Gina FlorioJun 8th 2023

Surrogacy has been normalized greatly over the last few years, especially in Hollywood. Lance Bass, former NSYNC member and entrepreneur, is a father of twins with Michael Turchin. Their 2-year-old twins are named Violet Betty and Alexander James; he has recently opened up about their toddler milestones. They are becoming more affectionate, have started speaking, and are growing an interest in learning. In an interview with Yahoo Life, Bass expresses his delight in seeing them discover new words, particularly body parts, due to their favorite YouTube children’s show, Ms. Rachel. With their newfound fascination with anatomy and books, Bass is hopeful that the toddlers will develop a love for reading. However, the first year of their life was riddled with disconnect due to the fact that they were born through surrogacy.

Lance Bass Admits It Was Difficult To Connect with His Children Who Were Born via Surrogacy

Bass candidly shared that he and Turchin struggled in their conception journey. Over three years, the couple experienced two full rounds of IVF with a surrogate, one of which resulted in a pregnancy loss at six weeks. They also worked with 10 different egg donors before finally achieving success. At one point, Bass admitted that he doubted whether he was supposed to be a parent or not because it was so hard.

“Us trying to get pregnant was a difficult time,” Bass shared. “It took us three years to finally get these kids... But you keep going forward, and the universe gives you what you need when you need it."

This challenging process amplified their appreciation for the twins’ small yet impactful milestones, but it was difficult in the beginning for them to truly connect with their children.

"The first year, they wouldn't give me any love," he said. "They never hugged, they never wanted to snuggle, and I was so upset about it. Because they would do that with my mom. My mom would come over, and boom, they’d snuggle with her."

The children are loving now that they're a little older, but at first, there was very little affection and physical interaction. Bass refers to the children's mother as "the donor" and says his son looks just like her. "It's crazy," he said. The couple maintains a connection with both the surrogate who carried the twins and their egg donor, whom Bass calls "angel moms."

Bass advocates for others going through similar struggles to persist, seek comfort in their community, and remember they are not alone. Their journey allowed them to meet many couples who shared their experiences, providing much-needed stress relief. Nowadays, Bass frequently turns to his closest friends, Jamie-Lynn Sigler and JoAnna Garcia, for parenting advice. As each friend is a parent to either only boys or only girls, he considers them his experts for questions about either Violet or Alexander.

“Know that other people are going through the same thing,” Bass gave advice to aspiring parents. “In doing our journey, we met so many couples that went through exactly the same thing that we did. It really relieves a lot of stress.”

Bass certainly isn't the only celebrity to have children via surrogate. Just a few weeks ago, Khloe Kardashian admitted on The Kardashians that she is really struggling to connect with her son, who another woman gave birth to. Kardashian expressed guilt over the "transactional" experience, wishing for more honesty about the realities of surrogacy.

The 38-year-old, alongside Kim Kardashian and Scott Disick, reflected on the journey on camera, admitting she didn't feel like she was having a child until arriving at the hospital. Kim, who carried her first two children, shares her belief that carrying a child creates a unique bond. Scott queried Khloe's connection to Tatum, and she conceded to feeling a disconnect, attributing it to the transactional circumstances of surrogacy. Khloe's admission reflects an overlooked side of the surrogacy industry, a rapidly growing sector projected to reach $129 billion in the next decade. While lauded as an empowering option for women, it often exacerbates class divides and may lead to emotional complexities for the intended parents and child.

Of course, parents like Kardashian and Bass are going to feel disconnected from their child. Their baby had an incredibly intimate, unique experience growing for nine months in another woman's belly, only to be taken away at birth by complete strangers. Even if the child will learn to connect with their adoptive parent later, that trauma they experience early on has significant neurological, physiological, and emotional effects that play a big role in shaping their infancy. Surrogacy is a difficult topic to approach because there are now many women who are taking that route due to infertility, but it's a discussion that needs to be had, as we're seeing many people step forward and be honest enough about the effects it has on parents and children.

Support our cause and help women reclaim their femininity by subscribing today.

#Anti surrogacy #anti exploiting women #babies are not commodities #They were newborn babies how affectionate were they expected to be #Do fertility agencies counsel would be parents that even bio parents and babies sometimes take time to bond?#Lance Bass exploited women instead of adopting

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the-s1lly-corner · 3 months

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Could you write about tadc cast x reader sharing their first kiss? Do it all romantic n stuff, i want cheesiness!!

First kiss w/ Pomni, Jax, Ragatha, and Zooble!

just answered a request like this for jax, so his part is going to link to that post! hope thats alright! im still not taking reqs for the entire cast but you can feel free to ask for the rest of the cast later!

POMNI:

i think you might have to initiate it... as much as pomni truly adores and loves you, shes far too awkward to try to make the first move... especially for such a milestone! i think, if you did take the lead it would end with her being totally read in the face.. maybe fiddling with the ends of her hair or hat... maybe both? i think she would try to get up on her toes and try to kiss you back.. i mean, is that not what you wanted? a kiss? definitely a little giddy about it, but it shows through nervous but happy giggles... kind of smiles like an idiot, too.. this gal is absolutely smitten

JAX:

you can find it here!

RAGATHA:

i think ragatha would kiss you first, maybe doing it as a greeting... or in a moment of pure joy and love... though i think she might ask if you want a kiss before she actually does it... which i think is something that people dont take into consideration with these scenarios... but.. i think she would be sweet about it, wording it in a way that you dont feel pressure. its just in her nature to want to take the best care of you that she can. but if you do say yes? i think her nerves might finally catch up to her and make her... pause a little. she still does it, but a lot of the confidence that she has in most other acts of affection for you flickers just a tinsy tiny bit.. but its cute, she looks happy, and youre happy

ZOOBLE:

kissing... is being used loosely here in zoobles case due to them not exactly... having a mouth... but i dont think they would be opposed to you wanting to give them a kiss. though with other things affection based, especially if its something physical, youre going to need to ask them beforehand, and see if theyre ready for it. i think it takes zooble a while to warm up to things and become comfortable... so its going to be a while before you get to the kissing stages... and when you do, they start off short and fleeting. but oddly enough, its like nothing exactly changes... sure youve both hit a new milestone, but nothing feels any different... and is that so bad?

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #pomni x reader #pomni x you #pomni imagine #ragatha x you #ragatha x reader #ragatha imagine #jax x reader #jax x you #jax imagine #zooble x reader #zooble x you #zooble imagine

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succubusphan · 9 months

Text

Two Man Team - Chapter 1

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 1: Somebody to Love

June 2005

Phil threw himself onto his bed and looked around at his neon green walls and carpet thinking how little time he had left in his childhood bedroom. He had one last summer in his hometown before uprooting his entire life and moving to York for uni. It was weird, in a way, to be in this sort of limbo where his basic education was over; he no longer felt like a child but didn’t feel like an adult either. It could be because he didn’t feel like he was fully himself, not to anyone he knew - not even his friends.

Could he really call them his friends if they didn’t know who he truly was, if he couldn’t share his attraction to boys like the others shared their crushes on girls and their flings? Maybe it wasn’t fair to think of them as near strangers, it was not their fault that he didn’t feel ready to talk about it. They had all been there for him his entire childhood and he still wasn’t ready. That was on him.

On the other hand, York presented him with a new opportunity, a chance to live his true life and finally get a boyfriend. That’s all he wanted, just - someone to cuddle with. Ok, also other stuff, but he wanted a proper boyfriend. It didn’t hurt to start looking now though.

Phil sat up and reached for his laptop, lifting the screen and connecting to the internet. He clicked on the Explorer icon and waited for everything to load for a few minutes. He logged into a random Yahoo chat room as per usual and greeted the 60 strangers chatting and sending emojis in the hopes of catching someone’s attention.

Snowdude: Hi. Anyone around 18? ;)

A private window popped up immediately.

DanTheMan: hi snowdude XD i’m dan

Snowdude: Hi. als?

DanTheMan: 16/m/reading. u?

Phil hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t often that dudes messaged him. Still, “Dan” was too young and still in school. Well, he didn’t have anything better to do than speak to him.

Snowdude: 18 m York. Are you in school?

DanTheMan: yeah just the A lvls to go. What’s ur favourrtie game?

Phil’s eyebrows shot up at the typo and he snorted.

Snowdude: Final Fantasy 7 is ace.

DanTheMan: ace XD favourite show?

Snowdude: Buffy obviously. What is this, an interview? What’s your favourite subject in school?

DanTheMan: ouch, geography and psych and theatre.

Snowdude: hate geo, you act?

DanTheMan: don’t laugh. i always have but i’m cool.

Snowdude: nothing wrong with it. I’m a terrible actor.

Looking at his ceiling, Phil felt bad for making Dan feel insecure by bringing up school, pointedly marking their age difference. He knew what it was like to be looked down upon by the older kids. He quickly typed another message.

Snowdude: I signed up to art because I thought it would be easy and almost failed. Seems like i suck at art.

DanTheMan: ROFL. ur weird.

DanTheMan: let’s be friends.

Snowdude: Lesbifriends

DanTheMan: forget it lol. I regret asking.

Snowdude: noooooooooooo

DanTheMan: i have to go my mums calling. add me on msn i’m [email protected]

Snowdude: Rawr xD. ACe. Good luck with homework

DanTheMan: fuckoff with your capitalistion and good grammra ttyl

And just like that, Dan exited their chat. Phil smiled and logged into MSN, hesitating only for a second before adding his new friend.

Ian opened their conversation with a buzz as per usual and invited him over to play games with the girls. He hesitated, but another notification popped up and it brought a smile to his face.

GoThic chiK (Anja): coming or not phL?

Phil rolled his eyes, at least Anja would be there and even if he didn’t like girls like that, Anja was always cool. She was like a girl, but also not. Well, she was a girl of course, but she felt like a guy, but not - like him. He didn’t fit in as the kind of man his dad wanted to see in his son and Anja didn’t impress her mother either. Maybe they were losers but they still had each other.

Phil Strikr: omw Annie tell Ian

GoTik chiK (Anja): told you to stop butcherin ma name.

Phil laughed and sent her a buzz before logging out and getting into his favourite blue jeans and a green T-shirt.

The night went by in a breeze, with loads of pizza, drinking and a few rounds of TEG that ended in disaster. He mostly enjoyed it until the topic of dating came up yet again. All the guys had some sort of girlfriend or arrangement and Phil had barely anything to show for. For the umpteenth time, Phil considered coming out to them but he could never bring himself to do it. Maybe one of these days when he was drunk enough.

“Phil, Phil!” Someone said.

Anja snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, startling him and causing him to drop the dice he had been shaking for who knows how long. “Mate, what is it with you today?”

“Uh, nothing. I was just thinking about Buffy,” he said.

Anja gave him a look that let him know she was not buying it, but the rest rolled their eyes and continued with their conversation. For a moment Phil thought he was off the hook but Ian looked at him expectantly.

“What?” Phil asked.

Ian sighed heavily. “Sandra asked about you again, mate. When are you going to ask her out?”

Phil tried not to look like a deer caught in the headlights. “I think it would be weird to date your cousin, we are like brothers at this point.”

Ian snorted and shook his head. “We are like brothers but not actually. It’s not like incest or anything.”

“Ew, don’t say that,” Phil said, paling at the thought of Sandra and her wandering hands. He was not going to repeat the mistake of asking her out. One sloppy kiss was more than enough.

Richard, Noah and Keith laughed at the face he pulled but Ian merely smiled at him.

“Oi! Phil is mine, let him be,” Anja said, shuffling closer to him and resting her hand on his thigh.

Phil’s eyes widened but she gave him a small wink before looking back at their friends.

“What? Are you his girlfriend now?” asked Richard with a frown.

“Yeah,” she said, looking uncomfortable at the question. Anja didn’t like Richard like that, she loved him as a friend, but he had a huge crush on her and he was terrible at hiding it. Phil didn’t need to read her mind to know she didn’t want to break his heart or risk their friendship but it was bound to happen eventually.

Wrapping his arm around Anja’s waist loosely, he set his head on her shoulder. “Tell Sandra I’m taken,” Phil said and Anja relaxed against him, letting her head gently rest on his.

Richard looked disappointed but didn’t press the issue any further.

Eventually, the board games stopped being fun and the alcohol ran out so they declared the party over. As soon as Phil said goodbye and stood from his spot Anja followed him, making the others laugh and howl at them, half whispering about what they were going to do in Phil’s bedroom.

Once they were out, Phil turned to look at her. “Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, hopefully.

“Nah, I was expecting to crash in your bed.” She began the walk back home and Phil followed her.

“What?” Phil squeaked.

Anja laughed and turned towards him, but her eyes looked a bit misty. “Don’t be daft, it’s not that.” She poked him gently, looking into his eyes. “I just feel sad and I don’t wanna be alone right now. I know I can trust you like that.”

“Alright,” Phil said, still walking at her side. “Do you want to talk about it? What happened?”

Anja looked away from him, her eyes focusing on the moon for a moment as she spoke. “I was dating someone but they are not sure about it anymore and it sucks.”

Phil stopped walking and pulled her into a hug. “An- you know you can tell me anything, come stay with me too.”

“I know.” She returned the hug tightly only for a moment before stepping back. “Come on!” She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. “Kath will be fuming if we are not there before midnight.”

He snorted and laced their fingers together. “I’ll tell my mum you call her Kath behind her back one day, you know?”

“Meh,” Anja shrugged. “She loves me. I’ll live.”

They stayed silent for most of the 20 minute walk home and had to sneak in, but soon enough they were in his room. Phil gave Anja a big T-shirt and a pair of joggers and slipped into his own pyjamas while she changed in the bathroom.

Five minutes later they were looking up at the ceiling as they lay under the covers in the small bed.

“Hey, Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think Richard will get over his crush eventually?”

Phil turned on his side to look at her. “Probably, he has gotten over the others.”

She nodded. “Are you seeing anyone that you haven’t told us about?” she asked in a drastic change of topic.

Phil sputtered. “As if anyone would be interested.”

“You have pretty eyes and perfect eyebrows. I wish I had your eyebrows,” Anja said. “You should dye your hair black though, it would make your eyes pop.”

“I don’t know… Would you do it for me?”

“Of course, ginge,” She laughed.

“I’m not a ginger!” Phil whined.

“Course not.” She poked at his stomach. “Good night.”

“Good night, An,” he said and shut his eyes, letting sleep claim him.

---

It was a weird summer. Anja remained sad for the majority of it but refused to talk about her boyfriend, choosing to focus on giving Phil an extreme makeover instead. She dyed his hair black, took him to the mall to pick up black skinny jeans and to the stylist that had given her her emo haircut to tame his mane.

By the end of it, Phil had perfected a nice image for his MySpace page. He had even ventured into eyeliner for some pictures when he’d gotten bored waiting for Anja to get ready for a party. He’d enjoyed the results and even Ian and the guys said it looked cool on him. Even Dan thought he looked really cool when he saw the pics.

He got to talk to Dan quite a few times as well before going off to uni and caught up with life. It was amazing to learn that they were actually super compatible, liking many of the same games, music and shows. The best part was that Dan said there was a chance he would go to York like him so they could hang out and Phil liked the sound of that, even if Dan was still a full year away from it. Dan was honestly super cool and Phil really had come to consider him a friend in the last few months so it would be super fun to have someone close to hang out and play games with. It sounded like a great plan.

Daydreaming about their potential meet-up was a nice distraction from Dan’s home life, which seemed to be in constant turmoil as Phil came to find over time. There was a reason Dan barely mentioned his younger brother and he had vaguely complained about his father’s rage issues, so Phil always let Dan talk first, and let whatever was troubling him be aired so that he could offer his support or advice if it was needed. Phil also shared some of his issues and insecurities, but his problems were not nearly as bad as Dan’s so he tried to keep things on the positive side and help Dan out.

But Phil wasn’t expecting to catch Dan in a lie only weeks later. As it turned out, Dan had never been 16, he was a 14 year old kid. It was a silly lie, but it still hurt Phil, so he asked Dan to never lie to him again. Dan was very apologetic and begged him not to break their friendship, which Phil had briefly considered, but decided against, especially because of the kind of bullying Dan suffered at school on the regular. After the initial shock had worn off, Phil reassured him that they could be friends, even if they would have to be long distance.

Dan deserved to have supportive friends. He needed someone to be there for him and Phil knew he could be that someone. At an appropriate distance, of course.

It was a bit of a rough patch between them, but after they had resolved the issue, life went on as usual. Phil dived head first into his uni life and there were so many changes. He moved into the dorm and met new people at uni, but sadly, he wasn’t able to stay in touch with his friends back home as much as he’d have liked due to his schedule. In a way, he had inadvertently severed most contact with his life back home, but no matter how much things changed, some stayed the same: his lack of a love life and being trapped in the closet.

He decided that it was time to take his life by the horns and that marked the beginning of a new chapter for him, an exploring phase of sorts. After some consideration, he opened a profile on a dating website, hoping to find a nice guy he could date. His new look did seem to help a lot, but his popularity applied mostly to MySpace. The dating scene seemed a bit dry, or maybe he was just too awkward. There weren't a bunch of messages flooding his inbox by any means.

To be honest, he was starting to get really discouraged, thinking he would never meet someone, but his luck finally changed on a mighty weekend when in a hidden corner of a pub, he got his first taste of freedom. He was blonde and tall and three years older than Phil and his lips were on Phil’s, quickly taking him to heaven, making his blood rush south and his stomach tingle. His hands were inside Phil’s T-shirt and struggling with his jeans’ zipper in less than five minutes. It wasn’t too rough or something that Phil didn’t want, but the speed of it all scared him a bit. It was too much too soon and he wasn’t ready even though he wanted to be, so he took a step back and apologised.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still trying to catch his breath. “Listen, I’m not out yet, not even to my friends back home, my new uni friends or my roommates.”

The guy nodded and smiled at him. “That’s alright,” he said. “Could I get your phone number? Maybe we can meet up some other time.”

Phil nodded and saved it in the other’s phone, but he was not going to trick himself into thinking he was going to get a text. His chances were slim.

They parted ways with a quick kiss, which surprised Phil. He let out a deep sigh as he watched the blonde disappear into the crowd and surveyed the pub in search of his friends.

Towering over most people did come in handy and allowed him to locate his roommates in under a minute. Phil tried to put on a brave smile as he made his way to them and accepted a beer, taking a zip and groaning at the bitter taste. It was performative and he knew it, but he didn’t know what else to do, so he followed along with what everyone was doing. He got drunk - and even made out with a girl briefly just out of boredom.

He felt nothing, nothing at all, but his roommates cheered him on and the girl seemed happy enough.

That made one of them.

Once back in his room, Phil put his phone to charge and turned it on. There were a few missed calls and texts from Dan, asking if he was free to talk. Phil got a bad feeling about it and tried to call him but Dan didn’t pick up. Maybe it was too late and he had fallen asleep. Biting the inside of his cheek, Phil hesitated before sending a text.

“I’m sorry I missed your calls, I was out until just now and my phone had died X.x . I’m free to talk in the morning!”

Phil lay in bed for what seemed like forever, the room spinning a bit around him, as he thought about the blonde guy, the boring night, the girl he kissed - and Dan. He wished he would have stayed home and talked to Dan, maybe played some games, or talked about school. It was sad that he got along better with a 14 year old than his own friends. What did that say about him? He fell into a fitful night of sleep just as the sun rose above the clouds.

The talk with Dan didn’t come the next day, or the following one. In fact, Dan stopped replying entirely for over a week and Phil’s stomach was twisted into knots. Over twenty messages unanswered could only mean bad news, right?

The following weekend, Phil sent yet another text: “Please, Dan. Just let me know that you are ok.”

Ten minutes later, his phone finally vibrated. “im ok. stop.”

Phil’s eyes welled up with tears. “I’m so sorry, Dan. I’ve been worried about you. I went out and had so many calls and missed texts, I thought something had happened and you needed to talk. It’s ok if you don’t want to, I just didn’t want you to think that I didn’t care. Sorry I missed your call.”

His screen lit up with a call immediately and Dan’s raspy voice greeted him on the other side. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s ok,” Phil said, trying to calm himself down, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He swallowed thick and attempted a small smile, even if Dan could not see it. “What did you want to talk about?”

Dan was silent for a moment, but then he let out a tired sigh. “Nothing much, it’s fine.”

“You can tell me, you know you can,” Phil said with a frown.

“Last weekend I went to the mall and I had some problems with the usual shitheads…” he trailed off.

“Did they throw rocks at you again?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t care. And on Monday -” Dan paused.

“What happened on Monday?” Phil asked, frowning at the pain he could hear in Dan’s voice.

“One of the idiots grabbed me by the neck and slapped me for like 5 minutes,” Dan mumbled. “And I know what you’re going to say, one of the teachers saw and did nothing. He even laughed.”

“Dan,” Phil said, his heart breaking for his friend. “I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve any of that. I wish I could be there to help you.”

“It’s fine,” Dan said in a monotone voice. “I didn’t react, I didn’t want to give them that satisfaction.”

“It takes a lot of courage not to fight back. You were very brave.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Dan muttered. “Almost gave them another satisfaction.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m so tired sometimes, you know? Just so tired.” Then, Dan cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ve been staying with my grandma since Tuesday, so I’m ok.”

Phil had to clear his throat too, trying not to get choked up by what Dan was implying. “You have to get good grades so you can get into uni and we can hang out, ok?”

Dan snorted. “As if you would hang out with me. You’re cool and I’m just a 14 year old loser.”

“You’re not a loser. You’re kind, and funny, and one of the coolest people I know. I know that one day you will be a great guy. Maybe you’ll be a famous actor, like you’ve always wanted.”

“Yeah… maybe,” Dan said. “Wanna play Mario Kart later? I have homework.”

Phil looked at the time, it was already late, but a few races wouldn’t hurt. “Sure. Text me when you’re done.”

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan said and Phil could picture a little smile on his face.

“No problem. See you later.”

“Yeah. Hey, can I follow your MySpace?” Dan asked.

“You can follow me anywhere,” Phil said. “We are friends.”

“Yeah, ok,” Dan snorted. “See you later, Philly.”

Phil rolled his eyes and hung up the phone.

Letting out a deep sigh, he decided to do the “adult thing” and study a little more for the exam he had the following morning so that he could join Dan online later. It was not a lot, but he felt better now that Dan knew Phil was on his side and he cared.

That night, Phil stayed on his DS until 4, but he managed to get a passing grade on the exam anyway. He rewarded himself with a 10 hour nap afterwards.

All through his first term at uni, Phil tried his best to keep in touch with Dan, but with his tight study schedule, the weekends pretending to be straight and attempting to not stress himself half to death with his new chaotic life, it was getting increasingly difficult.

Before long, Phil had to make a drastic choice. Something needed to change and he knew exactly what was the worst stressor for him: his straight-sex-maniac persona. And so it was decided.

He invited his four roommates to their very limited common space and paced in the square foot of floor he had available to himself waving his hands around without uttering a word until one of the guys asked if he was ok.

No, Phil was not ok at all, he was nearly crawling up the wall, so instead of giving a carefully planned and rehearsed speech, he stopped short of the wall, turned around and said: “I lied… I am not super experienced, I don’t have a lot of sex experience. In fact, I have zero experience, because… because I’m gay. I’m sorry that I lied, I just wanted you guys to like me, you are all so cool. I wanted to be your friend. I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand. I-”

Peter got up from the armrest of the sofa, causing Phil to take a step back just in case, and gave him a hard pat on the shoulder. “It’s ok. We are all figuring things out,” he said. “Also, Sarah will be happy to know that you are not disgusted by her presence, you’re just thick as all fuck and gay. Right, Sarah?”

“You like me?” Phil squeaked, turning towards the popular blonde girl. She was super nice and also pretty, but she was still not a guy, so there was not even a chance.

“I do. I did, but it’s ok. We can be friends,” she said with a smile.

“We can?” Phil croaked.

Sarah nodded. “You’re a good guy, Phil. Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend? And the fact that you are not opposed to a little makeup also plays in your favour.”

Peter clapped once and rushed to the fridge. He got the Malibu out of the freezer, messily pouring the alcohol into various glasses and mugs and other liquid-holding implements before turning around to face the group and raising his glass. “To Phil, the gayest emo York has ever seen - and a good friend too!” He downed his drink without waiting for anyone else.

Sarah walked over to the kitchenette and grabbed a shot glass, raising it towards Phil with an encouraging smile. “Cheers,” she said and downed her drink. She then passed a repurposed laundry detergent cap full of Malibu to Phil.

“Thank you,” he said, hoping that his eyes could convey the gratitude he felt. “Cheers,” he said and drank the entire thing.

Jimmy and Callan, who had been quiet until now, stood from the sofa and grabbed a mug each, raising them to Phil.

“To Phil, the gay emo,” said Callan with a smirk.

“We can still be friends even if you’re gay and your willy is bigger than all of ours,” Jimmy said with a nod and necked his drink.

Phil laughed. “Stop talking about my dick, Jimmy. You saw nothing!”

“I will when it stops looking back at me every time you sit,” Jimmy cackled.

Phil threw the laundry detergent cap at his head, hitting the target and causing the group to laugh. Hours later, he crawled into his tiny bed and felt the effects of all the alcohol he had consumed rock him gently, like the waves in the sea. He let out a sigh of relief, a smile appearing on his lips as he remembered how the night had started. His coming out had been awkward but still a success. Now he could truly be himself, at least in York, and he couldn’t wait until he was able to live his life fully everywhere.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #succubusphan fics #dan and phil #phan au #ospbb 2023

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rymurrsneckbeard · 11 months

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I’m having a bit of A Moment about Matthew Tkachuk right now and I’m going to ramble so you’re all gonna have to bear with me. I’m gonna get real deep into my fandom history and what an absolute nerd I am.

I grew up with hockey around me: I was 7 and 8 years old when the Penguins won their first two Cups. I grew up with Lemieux and Jagr in their primes, with a Penguins team that didn’t miss the playoffs from the time I was 6 until I was 18 years old. But I truly became a hockey fan in 00-01. When Lemieux came out of retirement in December 2000 everyone in Pittsburgh (and much of the hockey world really) watched that game. I was no different.

And then I started watching more games. And then the Pens got Johan Hedberg and he went on a tear through the playoffs with his bright blue mask, and I fell in love with a VERY young Andrew Ference (A+ first favorite player choice, 17 year old me) and my hockey fandom was sealed. Even when the Penguins were eliminated I kept watching those playoffs. In the summer I researched the game, the rules, the stats. I went from being a bandwagon Penguins fan to a true hockey fan.

Back in 01-02 ESPN had a semi-behind the scenes type show called, I THINK, Cool Hockey (it’s been 2 decades forgive me if I’m wrong). And I remember watching a segment about Keith Tkachuk and 18 year old me was in love. He was handsome, funny, charismatic, tough as hell on the ice, and one of the best US born players of all time. I became a HUGE fan of his.

In amongst my hockey searches on the internet I came upon hockey fanfic on fanfiction.net. The very first thing I read was a humorous spoof fic. It was ridiculous and silly but I loved it, and it led me to more serious fic, and then in turn it led me to the group of very early hockey RPF writers who truly founded this branch of hockey fandom on the internet. We had a Yahoo group and then an AIM chat room and when ff.net fucked over fandom in general, we all migrated to Livejournal.

On Livejournal beyond fic there was a group of us who also started a hockey role-playing game. We were essentially creating our own mini fanfiction via impersonating players on IM. We paired up random players, sometimes obvious ones and sometimes completely weird pairings. Who cared if it made no sense? It was our own little world we could play in and it was all just for fun.

I met my best friend via that original group and he and I really threw ourselves into that RPing brand of creativity. One of our weirder pairings, but one that was so good was Kirk Maltby and Keith Tkachuk. Not going into the greater details of it because none of that matters, but my role was Keith. At this point Matthew and Brady were babies. I remember seeing Keith with tiny Matthew and Brady at All Star Games in the early 00s. In our RPing stuff we dealt with the parenting aspect of their relationship because of those kids.

For 20 years I’ve watched Matthew Tkachuk grow up, and there’s a little part of my brain that is a little bit inside of Keith’s head and that’s his boy.

His boy scored 3 of 4 game winners in the Eastern Conference Final. His boy is going to the Stanley Cup Final.

I am overwhelmed with pride about this kid and what he’s become. Bring it home, Matty.

#matty tkachuk #fandom history #keith tkachuk #this is why i get so pissed off about the unfounded 'keith is a bad father' bullshit #I was THERE WHEN MATTHEW WAS A CHILD #I was a HUGE fan of his father #that family is closeknit as FUCK #i will not have your slander of matty's relationship with his dad #sorry this got emotional

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

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like at any given time i’m completely calm about the black suits but it’s so like, Gets In There lmao i can also hear any of the songs and also immediately be plugged into the amp of absolute Hype i have in my heart for the black suits, also at any given time

like joe iconis saying he wanted it to be like an artistic work that imitates life by trying to be somewhat About Nothing, and tbs sure is like that, like, that it never stops being some rando kids fucking around in long island suburbia. the local battle of the bands is low stakes, winning or losing wasn’t gonna make a difference either way, and Thematically losing lets chris especially have that display of his Emotional Arc where he now feels in control by just like, understanding what’s really been going on for him lol and addressing That, namely, that this is about their relationship/s here, rather than the band’s big time success being anything besides One means to an end of [cue john simpkins talking about how all these guys are trying to say I Love You to each other when something so direct isn’t really in their vocabulary yet and they may also not exactly be aware that that’s what’s going on in the first place really, like chris in the beginning saying that the band needs to get better simply b/c That’s What Bands Do] and if they did win, like yeah that could also validate their Togetherness in this moment lol, but it could distract from that too if anyone’s wondering like oh uh Are they gonna hit the big time? (anti shoutout to that l.a. times whatever reviewer who truly didn’t have a clue what was going on, thought it Would Be / should be this story about a scrappy garage band, in fact, making it big, and then decided b/c it Wasn’t actually about that that it was Bad / he wasn’t like rooting enough for them to Get Famous, so it was bad. like, that is not thee pointe of the tale here my ungood bitch. yahoo review where someone’s like i walked into this bowling alley when i’d thought it was a bookstore. zero stars)

anyways i love how it’s so about Nothing and so low stakes but like most of the songs make me explode. when the fuckin It’s Been Better Than Anything Else finale number is happening like, 0.5 seconds in and girl help. keep trying to get that The Spirit Song happening in concert. the [nato’s song] where it’s all tied together by his character as the one most directly voicing like I Have Nothing Going For Me W/o The Band and nobody’s doing anything but it builds to such Drama in their combined collage of mundanity all layering over each other.

and the fact that this is such a like, flipside to anything Coming Of Age where it’s like hey kid. hand on your shoulder. you Will go to a party in high school where damn if you don’t Figure It All Out by Being Yourself hard enough for long enough or whatever =) lmao but where like. nobody has any parties here obviously, nothing that new happens, Drama happens in secondhand clothes shops & taco bell parking lots that only affects this friend group of total unextraordinary randos dicking around. the The Answer doing so much thematically when it’s like, well damn if you’re not still coming of age, you’re not allowed to steer your own life at all and so you’re having to coast down the tracks b/c it’s being steered for you and then it’s like well you are Eighteen(tm) now so whoever was steering has thrown themselves out of the cab and you’re in charge now, on tracks you didn’t choose to be on, maybe your railcar or whatever absolutely sucks also, and it’s a headscratcher What You Were Doing Wrong or what you could do better or even just do differently, and that feeling of Now Or Never like, don’t i have to have it all figured out??? (no) don’t i have to be able to see at least one option that’s directly before me that feels like it could be / should be / will be The Answer (no) like, and again where john’s kind of on the more passive / accepting side of things, chris isn’t there yet since he hasn’t already graduated and he’s the one like blowing up & freaking out & trying to have any control over what’s gonna happen via his garage band’s success, b/c what other route does he have to feel that way, as well as his own shit of course, looking to Music as both a general outlet / Cathartic Interpretation of Anything as well as what will allow everyone to stay together / for there to be this thread of consistency in life vs just the unknowns of the future and that lack of control that really doesn’t just immediately change despite the [you do not get to be at all in charge of your own life b/c we treat kids very normally & okay] treatment switching over to an “alright haha now it’s all you whether you’re prepared for that or not =)” situation as it’s like um you’re technically an adult?? what do you mean you don’t see your entire perfect life plan laid out in front of you and feel entirely ready and equipped to pursue it??? sounds like your fault (as though also your [any/every less than eighteen years old self] is at fault. which is an implicit premise anytime ppl are like “well if you’re 18 you’re legally autonomous so why don’t you / aren’t you / haven’t you Just [xyz] >:/” b/c any “Just ___” advice or argument is always so ingenious & helpful]

it’s fun how everyone’s such a rando and so uncool & unepic & a mess lol. john & chris especially, then nato, then brandon, but really it’s also just like, Never Mind What I Just Said b/c really they’re just having entirely different manifestations of their own Messiness, and just b/c brandon’s looks like he has it most Together like oh i’m in this other band, still drumming, finally songs w/structure (& uncoincidentally: finally a group w/structure), doesn’t mean it’s that much different than like, john having to resign himself to a taco bell gig like, yeah it Looks Like what’s going “best” out of what anyone else has going on, but also he hates it & clearly finds out that [ugh if only we employed Music Theory] as what he thought was His answer isn’t really thee answer & is also apart from his friends & what all. not a contest lol, not a quantifiable measurable [i forget the word for able to be Compared to any other thing as reference / relative measurement] matter, and certainly doesn’t matter, everyone’s got something quite pathetic going on, certainly in the figurative sense of oh how fucking uncool & messy & [if you want, Not Relatable / i am othering this person for how pathetic they are, disdain time], if you want, but i’m just more so thinking of the most technical / literal sense of like, This Evokes Pathos lol. and then in a more straightforward [coming of age] plotline sort of moment, or yknow lmfao, Any kind of plotline moment, characters still are deciding to Take Action, but that action involves like, getting in a scuffle in a taco bell parking lot or tp’ing each other’s houses for catharsis & moral support of that catharsis. it’s not “objectively” big & dramatic & lifechanging, it’s still small scale and mundane enough, and the emotional growth & resolutions don’t suddenly mean that it’s like, okay now don’t worry, you have control over your lives / situations, but they do obviously just have more understanding of their own shit and certainly more like, actually successful control over some shit for a) having that god granted uhh serenity to know the difference over things they can and can’t change lol, and b) just knowing what they’re even After in the first place lol. the Amphibian scene as the peak essence of what really matters about the band, vibing together over music and jam sessions even if the song isn’t some future chart topping single that they need to hone to perfection, and of course chris crashing into that & fucking The Band up completely b/c he’s trying to enforce everyone sticking to this Route of focusing & practicing the right way & they’ll Get Good & then then can all do The Band thing & that’ll be their ticket to general success & control over circumstances & sticking together the way that they have been. vs in the end, and Really supporting the band by just playing whatever damn song (the twenty thirteen version being like, everyone playing a bunch of disparate parts simultaneously lol) and then telling them they kicked ass anyways despite not winning lol, it hasn’t all been perfect but it’s been better than anything else

and also appreciating how No Character really gets any new external validation from anyone who isn’t already another character in this small circle lol. like, there’s no Certification Of Success, like how e.g. winning the battle of the bands would be, nobody’s cooler, nobody’s more epic, nobody’s more extraordinary, but everyone has this confidence in how they’re feeling about things & why they’re feeling that way / why they want what they want here. there’s lisa, who has this more freeform ongoing identity crisis as someone who’s simply band Adjacent and yknow, how do you relate here exactly when it’s like, how to support this checked out bf, is the answer dating this other guy who’s kinda like him but paying more attention b/c he’s less absorbed in the band’s success, also the band is a bunch of annoying rando asshole teen guys lmfao, like shut up and play your guitar lol yet how does she fit in besides like, what am i here, the groupie, the endlessly behind the scenes moral support. while living that life of like, what does she want to do since nobody’s pressing her to be in the band, time to be trying to grab on to a bunch of different things. and then in the end, it’s not Thee Answer, it’s not some big break for any of them, it’s not destiny, but she’s here to be a photographer and That’s Her Band, btw. and it’s pretty great how mrs. werring has just like gathered it together totally out of the scope / perspective of these other characters and like, she has some of her own dignity despite again that nobody’s really getting shit externally from ex bfs or band connections or absent dads or contest judges or what have you, everyone’s got this dignity and confidence and Knowing Themself and these particular connections and wants and needs on this stage that doesn’t look exceptional or extraordinary or dramatic to anyone else. and mrs. werring coming up and giving that support to lisa and to the fact of being an Audience in any aspect of live performance, or any art potentially, but Live And In Person especially. absolute tangent it’s so “funny” how everyone’s got that joke about how like ridiculous it is when some announcer or whatever is like How We Doing Tonight & everyone simply answers Woooo like. oh are you kidding, as though you want everyone to individually answer in depth and simultaneously Literally how they are doing tonight, as though when people are talking in person one on one, you’re entirely Not supposed to answer “how are you” with an actual accurate rundown of how you’re doing, it’s supposed to be whatever fuckin elaborate routine of Correct Small Talk Responses parried back and forth so that everyone’s not so Hostile as to have shared a space without having to speak to the other or whatever the hell, when they have no autistic social skills. i said i’m doing fucking Woooo!!! bitch don’t act like oh just Now we suddenly expect that this should be a very literal, straightforward inquiry for a few hundred or thousand people to all simultaneously en masse answer in depth and with honesty. but people are also like, why are people so loud at concerts, i wanna hear the song. then buy the fucking album, this is participatory. anyways. remember how joe iconis offered up that hc that jeremy is nato’s cousin and attended the st. anne battle of the bands (and maybe said that michael has some the black suits merch / like a burnt cd of their shit lol? and/or maybe that was just a naturally extrapolated hc from the rest of us) he was like woooooo babeyyy

and it’s like, who has Not been there. i’ve been the The Weird One bbq smacks of neurodivergence / “what if i was a zoologist” / Well I Don’t Do Anything unless it’s the depression routine and maybe we don’t see a ton of it but some questionable guardianship going on around here and also i do really well academically but removed from that context people presume that you wouldn’t necessarily lol, and maybe you don’t really give a shit (i hate school lmao...binch) but also w/plenty of other Relatable Traits / Experiences found amongst any other characters. i’ve been on the experiences of “i’m Not having my coming of age ‘it’s all coming together’ moments, i’m not going to any parties wherein by being myself enough some necessary cathartic / metaphorically resonant experiences will be manifested, i’m not feeling like i know how to feel like things are fine or i know where i want to take things next & then next & then next or like i want to go where this track seems to be going or like i know how to derail things in a way that’ll be successful enough, or like i know that’s what i need to do rather than ‘well i guess it’s a problem with me?? surely???’ / realizing how often like intensely delving into / scrutinizing anything with any Resonance / Interest was about trying to figure out if that had that [The Answer] type shit in there lol, me at fourteen and fifteen like oh shit i have to figure out my whole fucking thing and my whole fucking life like, Now lol. where is it in newspapers or cafes or walks to spontaneous destinations or putting myself out there socially or What. that i had some sense of things that Did really resonate more with me but i did not have the means to pursue it actually lol. that i’m like, i’m not having everything shake out by Being In High School or Being A Teen Or Being EighTeen or Heading Off To College or being around other people who were doing their own thing as though that’d rub off somehow or activate the ‘okay now i’m having a normal experience(tm)’ phase of things that was never coming lol” and generally being in that place of like. standing there as someone unextraordinary & uncool & weird & miserable Screaming Internally like uhhhh girl help, i don’t see how i can wrest control of things here for it to all go smoothly & in the “right” direction, right towards endless success & fulfillment & answer after answer & so on. truly for the vastly large part everyone around was also fuckin useless re: all of this lmfaooo but yknow, hey. damn if i didn’t still have some scraps of Moments in there regardless, where i was of course figuring shit out without quite being sure that’s what i was doing b/c it was organic & inevitable & never gonna happen all at once as though the most Passionate Elevated Spontaneous Extraordinary moments are the only “real” ones and necessarily required to drive your life’s plot along, or there needs to be any external validation / certification / commentary like yep that’s you being yourself, then. did also get external info that i’d keep stumbling across that’d be like, oh, Huh. nonbinary huh? media about [what if a teen had an abusive home life] with such a certain perspective/framework i hadn’t really encountered before such that i was like, oh, huh. trial and Error which was shit but that was still like, well huh. things that were so shitty the shittiness backfired and it was like ha ha, i’m gaining self esteem and confidence largely entirely from myself now lmfao. and where certainly there wasn’t any moment like “hooray! you’re the winner. things will be epic & happen just like you want them to, forever” lol when like, of course you don’t Need that b/c it’s not even how it ever works. best laid plans. the Flexibility like, Not knowing what’s coming? that’s life isn’t it, that’s where there’s new shit and Not having to have the sense that [this is your One Route and there will never be anything in your life than what you think is going to happen within it]. things being different in the future / You being different in the future? also definitely gonna happen, and that’s Potential rather than something that invalidates or threatens the present. i’m very powerful lol, and i’m not now not uncool or not messy or not mundane, i’m not like handed some of that external validation at last lol, it’s From Within baby, thanks to nothing that’s looked impressive or even [like anything’s happening at all, necessarily] to anyone else, or even ever seemed like “hooray! some particular dramatic turning point!” to me, even, though sure i’ve done shit that could get to be a Plot Point in some would be coming of age story or any narrative or whatever lmfao, i’m not gonna be a main character, whatever the genre, unless it’s about nothing. and it’s true about how it helps when your damn brain’s done baking around your mid twenties also lol, can’t help [not yet having that] when you’re in high schooler, when it’s wild that ppl are “supposed to” have been working towards their Eternal Careers since freshman year or beyond and weighing what student debt they wanna take on and hitting the allegedly normal Milestones & Experiences of like, social events, kissing / dating / sex, learn to drive, make it or break it by senior year....things are off the shits, school and high school is just fucking wild to throw everyone into for like fifteen years, shit is fake, people are gay....etc

losing plots as ever but like, the point is, verisimilitudinous. everyone’s just some fuckin guy and aren’t we all. it’s all mundane and a mess and about nothing but any song hook hits and i’m like gonna flip out, the Better Than Anything Else feels like suck a fucking Resolution where it’s like well yeah this has been a damn journey b/c i sure Feel It, the fact that it all matters if you’re paying any damn attention and not thinking “if this garage band hasn’t signed with a label by intermission what am i here for???” or at least not being able or willing to recalibrate your expectations there. the element about joe iconis also comparing this to a like theatrical show in rehearsal and how once The Performance / Run has been done, that experience is done and gone. ephemerality of that and of everything else, the lack of control and the control in that like fuckin god grant me the serenity type fridge magnet lol way of Knowing what you’re not in control of but that you don’t need to be in control of b/c you also can’t even be in control of that and that’s not Really what you or anyone would want anyway and here you are, We’re All Here. also the songs are bangers

#the black suits #like i'm so simmeringly hype for it but i couldn't just Tell someone the elevator pitch for it #it just sneaks up on you. it's like holistic man.#black suits forever #just the other night thinking about how i fired that phrase off during a live youtube interview #and joe iconis got distracted and pointed out he was distracted by glimpsing that lol. the show from years ago that never played in new york #And Yet....meta babeyyy lol. and god bless us we have the couple audio boots and a script and now also a short film remix lol #one might file this under #joe iconis #We've All Been There (living a The Black Suits deal in one way or another at some point/s or another/s)

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