#it was so chaotic and im so tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beaulesbian · 4 months

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im just noticing some similarities

#something something all bark no bite bc they love luffy so much already #zolawlu #lawlu #zolu #zolaw #bc of reasons #mine #one piece #gif:op manga #i just need more for this ridiculous ot3. the 2 swordsmen who would do anything for luffy #2 captains and the first mate/ protector #the chaotic zolu duo and one fondly annoyed guy who gave up on trying to explain logic to them #the three very aro and/or ace coded characters- im taking them and putting them all in a qpr polyship #so they can cuddle and fight and have some good reassuring hugs. but also the devotion ! the fate etc etc good night im tired #rlly bad and weird day here so im just thinking about these instead..

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jackxo · 15 days

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𝙸’𝚖 𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛.

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sapphoscorner · 3 months

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Edit: please reblog this with some information about demisexuality, I did make a mistake here by saying "Cove doesn't understand sexual attraction" he does, so my bad on that part

SO, I usually don't get too involved in fandom discourse, but with how Baxter fans are acting about the loss in the MDDB I snapped and decided we should have a talk.

(This turned out longer than expected so more under the cut. I BEG YOU TO READ THIS AND TOP UNDERSTAND WHERE THE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION COME FROM.

This is all over place, I tried my best to make this as comprehensible as possible)

Specifically I want to talk about this fandom obsession with him and how, is getting to a point where people are legitimately re-writing the game and erasing Cove existence to have this fucking man instead.

And look, I want to say that I get the appeal, I do, but I don't because Baxter's route is genuinely the worst written one out of the three; Compared to Cove's and Derek's (and Derek treatment in the fandom is a WHOLE OTHER ISSUE) is really not. I'm not here to judge one taste, I am here to tell you that your love for him is ridiculous.

It is genuinely ridiculous how much popular he has gotten and so many of you are forgetting about Cove and how important he is to the story, and generally how he is important to a lot of marginalized people. Some of you keep forgetting that Cove is autistic and demiseuxal and that is such a rare representation to see and it is already erased in the fandom (especially his autism), but now is even more erased because people are grabbing everything that makes Cove Cove, and are applying it to Baxter.

That is also not touching the fandom treatment of Derek and how overly criticize his route his compared to Baxter's, like...DEREK'S PARENTS ARE GETTING MORE SHIT THAT BAXTER CANONICAL BIGOTED PARENTS LOL, WHAT IS THIS?? Are you guys serious?? I've seen a fanfic with Irene being transphobic, why the fuck would someone write that when Baxter's mom is right there?

And Derek shitty treatment doesn't end here because people are straight up erasing the guy and not ?? talking about on how well written he is ?? He is not erased sorry, he's forgotten, no one cares about him. And when people care is a) rare or b) so criticize to the point where is no longer a criticism but just you bitching about it.

And it doesn't end there! Baxter is so talked about that people are more interested in him making a cameo in OL:N&F than the main characters of that game, THAT'S HOW THINGS HAVE GOTTEN, We've gotten to a point where people cares more about some white man than Qiu or Tamarack, which are way more interesting than him as characters but neither of them are white skinny man so lol, who cares about them.

AND TO TOP THIS SHITSHOW IT SOMEHOW GETS WORSE FROM HERE BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T EVEN ARE CARE ABOUT THE INTERESTING ASPECTS OF BAXTER'S CHARACTER!!

Everyone is molding him like clay to create this, confident rich white boy when he is not?? and that's...the whole point of his route?? That he shouldn't need to put up this mask and to actually be a fucking human being?? THE FACT THAT HE IS A QUEER KID WHO HAD TO CUT OFF HIS PARENTS AND HAD TO BE INDEPENDENT FROM THEM AND LEARNING TO NOT DEPENDENT ON HIS PARENTS? (monetarily wise that is)

And like, people forget the man is queer, he is queer, he's a queer person who had to hide who he is to his parents and then had to cut them out for his own sanity, and no one mentions it.

The fandom as a whole erases queer identities,when this game is literally made FOR queer people don't you love it when straight people come into our spaces and erase our identities lol, that is a problem that more people should acknowledge, alongside the fact that Baxter's stans have taken over this safe space, overtook the main love interest, and ignore the genuine interesting aspects of Baxter's character to make him their own little doll they can play with and not appreciate a guy who is trying to learn how to stop being that mask everyone in the fandom has fallen over.

And I know, I know , I will get shit for daring to go against your favorite white boy, but consider that some of us played this game because an autistic character was in it, consider that this game is queer friendly and the fandom is also erasing that queerness to make horny fan fiction**, consider that some of us fond comfort in Derek and Cove's story and now we see everyone overtaking their stories by a white boy (that you can find in every other game), consider that his talk is tiring, consider also the fact that Baxter is technically queer and no one ever talks about it, consider that this game was a safe space for marginalized people and now it no longer feels that way

.

**with horny fanfiction I mean people re-writing Cove whole personality (and sexuality if we're being honest here) and making him this...horny big man when...he is not? He got stressed out by simply having to share a bed with MC, he's extremely shy around the subject of sex and he gets incredibly nervous about it.

I personally think that is due of both his queerness and autism (and yeah his personality, but autism affects ones personality so lol, sue me) since demisexuality means he genuinely doesn't understand how people can feel sexual attraction, and mixing that with autism means he probably doesn't understand the SOCIAL pressure around sex and having sex.

Granted that's speculation on my part but as someone who is (probably) autistic and asexual I can tell that, at least a majority feels this way and Cove is literally is the type to have this kind of mentality, he does not understand how Baxter can flirt with him after mere seconds of knowing each other

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why-the-heck-not · 1 year

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22.03.23, wednesday

took the start of this week way too chill because “I have plenty of time for the end of the week deadlines” and then today realised that it is in fact the middle of the week and I gotta hurry tf up now

#I always do this #deadlines on sunday so on monday I feel like I'm organized and on top of things and then tuesday also suddenly goes for like mentally #preparing and focusing on things I've neglected during the last week's school work catch up (aka cleaning etc) and then I once again have #just a few days to get a week's worth of stuff done so I have to catch up again and so im tired of things on monday again #and so the cycle continues lol #also im aware I have like almost identical pic posted here before but like only so many different types of pictures u can take of one desk #studyblr #study #studyspo #aesthetic #aes #dark academia #chaotic academia #march 2023 #2023

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janthewriter · 3 months

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I Am Tired

I am tired of feeling unloved.

I do not think anybody could ever love an unusual creature of perpetual habit like me. Only can they become intrigued with fascination of the unknown. Digging and prodding, only to yield no answers, fueling their anger until they move on to next best thing of existence, one that will gift them with the satisfaction they do hungrily desire.

I am tired of feeling this way.

My mind takes me to the dungeons of a Victorian castle in some frightful place unknown. Even the moonlight raises no hope against this stand of darkness within. I can never seem to escape the shackles. I must free myself. I must free my brain from it’s cranium. And then maybe I will finally be set free at last.

I am tired of the hollow emptiness.

It almost feels as if there is nobody else out here in this void of darkness. I call out, echoes of silence are my only answer in return. I turn mute. Only to match the peaceful, yet painful silence, that I am forever engulfed in.

I am tired of feeling trapped.

I wish I could free myself from this labyrinth, that I somehow found myself stumbling into. The birdcage in my chest that encloses a beautiful bluejay, feels punctured with every breath, being poked and prodded for amusement.

I am tired of breathing.

I breath, just for the oxygen to be sucked out of my lungs through the mouth of a lover, into the infinite space unknown. It is pointless, I shall take shallow breaths until my breathing diminishes altogether; this way it can never be stolen at the hands of a thief needy for more, again.

I am tired of seeing the good.

It becomes painfully hard to see the good, when I can only feel the bad. My eyes are the most diligent. They never fail at accomplishing to deceive me with enticements that are almost up for no refusal. I know better to believe the sweet lies that my eyes show me, telling me all is well. Almost nothing in this world is.

I am tired of fighting.

I am strong and indestructible, until I am not. I become so weak and fragile that with every step I take, my bones creak, revealing my hand of vulnerability. My armor has become too heavy, my arms to weak. Tears cascade down the calming silver onto the battle ground. Fighting has become pointless. It is not in my favor. But someone must win the battle. This war must end eventually.

I am tired of only being seen externally.

My body has nothing left to give. I have ripped every organ out with my bare hands, just to serve them on a silver platter to the greedy. I have given almost everything away, but no one has accepted my heart yet. Seek pity on me and just take what’s left of my heart and make it yours.

I am tired of this torturous day to day life.

A good day only seems to stare at me with wide eyes, extending it’s hand. I reach out in acceptance, thinking greatness is to be bestowed upon me, at last. I am deceived into receiving the small left over bread crumbs called inconvenience. I watch as the the latter is passed on to the next one in line awaiting the opportunity of delight.

I can’t do this much longer.

I am just really really tired.

~Jan

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jo-march-wannabe · 2 months

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is “please im just a twenty-something year old teenage girl” a valid excuse to my quantum physics professor for my late homework

#please im so tired #i understand in class but WHAT is going on #quantum mechanics #quantum physics #physics #physics student #physics studyblr #ex gifted kid #all my self worth is relying on my grades #burnt out gifted kid #gifted kid burnout #i need validation #i thrive on validation #chaotic academia #academic validation

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skitskatdacat63 · 2 months

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Thank you guys so much for all the cute picrews you replied with 🥹🥹🥹 im obsessed seeing what you've come up with!!!! Here are some I made 🤭🤭

+ ones my friends who know nothing about f1/vettonso made:

Friend on the left: why did she make Fernando into such a fuckboy 😭😭 and i was like "...hahaha yeah that cape outfit is from another thing I made :)"

Other friend of the right: she said she was trying to make them look like other characters. I think she said Fernando was one of the Three Musketeers and Seb was Luke Skywalker djkfkgl. And she also forced me to give a "presentation" on the racesuit ref PowerPoint I made 😭😭😭

I love how they didn't question the shipiness of it at all hahaha, one of them was like "oh are these your gay racing drivers? Very cute :)"

#some time ill try and make a commentary post abt the process and my thoughts abt all of it #i meant to do it last night when my thoughts were fresh #but i was too tired 😭 and now i forget what i wanted to sau #lol using it now when its finished #im like jfc i put so many options 😭#now i just want to make a giant compilation post #thats like: 'rainbow of vettonso'#or uhhhhhhh....50 shades of vettonso 🤭🤭#bcs like..man i drew every racesuit #I NEED THEM TO BE SEEN #that was honestly the easiest part byw #it was like a coloring book once i finished the base 🥰#if you want ill post my 42 slide powerpoint of reference pics DJFKGKKGLV #so chaotic #but thank you guys for using it!!!!!#im so happy 🥹🥹🥹#forcing everyone in my life to make their own vettonso >:)#catie.rambling.txt

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chaotic-hyperfixations · 2 months

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Y'all, imagine the power Yuuji has as Sukuna's vessel. The ability he has to piss him off with little consequence because Sukuna can't do shit to take over. Like, I've seen memes and shit about Sukuna ruining the moment and saying some outta pocket shit on Yuuji's cheek, but we need more of Yuuji purposely thinking of the most absurd and horrendous things and subjecting Sukuna to some shit like making Sukuna a Twitter account so they can post-

OMG. IMMA MAKE A JJK TWITTER AU TELL ME WHAT YALL THINK. (I know this has been done before but still *demonic noises of excited hyperfixation*)

#jjk #sukuna #sukuna ryomen #jjk sukuna #im so tired of myself #anyone keeping up with me must be fed up as well #chaotic randomness #im hyperfixating again #im hyperfixating so hard rn #420thoughts

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deesi-academia · 1 year

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the Indian education system, an introduction:

*zero creativity allowed* *there is only one right answer (even in "your opinion" questions)* *ncert is law* *teachers don't teach after 10th standard, "beta aap tuition jaate hoge"* *tuitions/coaching classes + school* *exams every month* *revision tests with incomplete syllabus* *finals with syllabus completed at 10x speed* *paying for school but learning from YouTube* *misogyny* *mental breakdowns at 13-15 years of age* *pressure* *PRESSURE*

#i could go on #but im so fucking tired #desiblr #desi #chaotic academia #dark academia #desi academia #light academia #academia #desi culture #cbse #indian education system #pressure #misogyny #mental health #students #exams #desi things #desi representation

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darkpoetrynprose · 2 years

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“It is June. I am tired of being brave.”

― Anne Sexton

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i-earned-my-stripes · 6 months

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I have just gotten back to working in a daycare for the first time in years. Today was day 3. It was exhausting. That said, I have made an interesting discovery. Today, I subbed for a teacher who has the same first name as me. According to the three year olds I watched today, it is not possible for two people to have the same name, so I must be lying. I spent all being called multiple different variations of names that were almost my name, but never actually my name. So tough luck everyone. No repeat names allowed.

#i am so tired #how can a group be so chaotic and yet so cute at the same time?#im with the same room tomorrow #and then i move to the (apparently) more chaotic room #when i last worked at a daycare #i was with the babies and the one year olds #not preschoolers #i miss the babies #wish me luck with my #misadventures in daycaring #daycare teacher #preschoolers

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sleepinginthelibrary · 9 days

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I didn't sleep well last night and it's starting to catch up to me, but I've completed another biology unit.