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bluesilksilverspurs · 3 years

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So, a little intro piece to what I hope will be quite a few pieces about Nikolai. This part is SFW, but the rest will definitely most likely not be :)

F!reader x Nikolai Zinoviev

"Something planned for this evening?" His voice was cool, and unexpected. Sometimes you forgot there was even anyone else in the dim room, the quiet and the faint, still light thrown by blue screens suggesting solitude. You knew he preferred it that way. Wesker wasn't one for small talk.

Turning, you looked along the console to him. An imposing figure, all the more so since the Mansion Incident, Wesker was sitting watching you, his long fingers splayed on the arms of the leather chair.

You felt suddenly self-conscious. You weren't wearing anything risqué - you'd changed into a pair of smart black jeans, a dark blue top that suggested a hint of cleavage. The necklace at your throat sparkled silver in the light above you. But still, you felt suddenly naked, as though he could see through you, as transparent as water.

"I'm meeting a friend for dinner."

Wesker didn't say anything at first, but his fingers drummed very softly on the armrest. When you didn't elaborate, he continued.

"A friend we have in common?"

It was a question, but it came out sounding like a statement. You swallowed. Why were you nervous? You weren't doing anything wrong. Were you?

"Nikolai."

He stared at you for a beat longer, then turned his head to the bank of monitors on his left. His gloved hand tapped a few times on the keypad beside him. Your cheeks burned.

"He's a dangerous man. You should take care with the company you keep."

A nervous giggle bubbled from your lips, and you flashed a smile at him.

"Dangerous men seem to be the only company I keep these days."

Wesker smirked at you, but his gaze had drifted. His attention was already on something else. "Have fun, then."

"Thanks."

You pressed your palm against the release mechanism for the door and walked out of the darkened room, blinking in the sudden harsh glare of the corridor. White and chrome, stretching for miles, it seemed. Given how many people worked in this facility, it was strange that you barely saw anyone. Well, it wasn't strange on this particular floor. Here it was quiet, austere, the atmosphere monastic. People rarely came here, unless to deliver bad news, or receive it.

The elevator doors opened with a soft chime, and you stepped inside. There, three versions of yourself stared back at you, identical eyebrows raised in identical appraisal. You looked okay, you thought. This was a fairly balanced assessment - your inner critic might be lying dormant, but you knew it wouldn't take much to coax her out. Instead, you combed your fingers through your hair, teasing out strands on each side of your face. You'd put on a little make-up - nothing much, only a slick of mascara, really - and you tried a shaky smile. The nerves exploded in your stomach.

There was no point in asking yourself why you were nervous. Nikolai Zinoviev was a mercenary, a ruthless man who played badly with others. But he had a wry sense of humour that delighted you, an odd chivalry about him, and eyes that were surprisingly doe-like for a trained killer. You thought him tremendously handsome, but not the kind of man you would normally be attracted to (here your mind scoffed. He was rather a lot like the kind of men you were normally attracted. Your current employer being a former case in point). If you were honest, you didn't think he would be interested, not in you, nor maybe anyone else. Certainly not for anything more than a quick fuck. So it had surprised you when he asked if you'd join him tonight.

Maybe a quick fuck was all he wanted. You didn't know. It had been a long time since you'd been on any type of date at all - working as a contact for powerful men manipulating the balance of power was exhausting, time-intensive and secretive, in effect making it almost impossible to have an intimate relationship. You didn't want to lie to anyone, or present yourself as something other than you were. You knew what your job was - you were good at it, and you were loyal, which is probably why Wesker had kept you around for so long. You knew that you weren't working for the good guys, although sometimes you could see the logic in the moves that were made. It didn't matter anyway. Good, or bad, there would always be casualties, always be compromises, always deals struck and undone. The money was good, and you were respected, although sometimes you thought that might be, in part, because of who your direct boss was.

Your job was how you had met Nikolai in the first place. You wore many hats and spun many plates for Wesker, but your chief responsibility was the allocation of contracts. At your fingertips was a database of the world's mercenaries, private armies, general guns for hire. Wesker told you what he wanted, you arranged to have it done. Simple. Most of the time, a quick encrypted message was enough to a familiar contact - a straightforward job needing executed. Other times it was more complicated, and for this you would meet contacts to discuss the details, and their compensation. Sometimes they bartered for price, but not always. Not even often, really. Wesker was well-connected and had deep pockets. His contracts were sought after, not merely because of the good pay, but because of the good graces it could land a mercenary in. Wesker might be above the interpersonal politics, but you remembered who you liked to work with, and who was unreliable, or a headache.

You liked to work with Nikolai.

Reliable, efficient, handsome. What more could an agent ask for?

You had reached the front door of the building. Sometimes you wondered if people really did believe this was simply the headquarters of an international manufacturer of lab equipment. The original story had been a HR company, but it was thought too hard to explain the delivery trucks coming in and out. You did wonder what people thought about the helicopters that came and went. It didn't matter. The town was in Wesker's pocket, or rather, in the pockets of the companies that he hid behind. Dark shades hiding dark intentions.

The company car was waiting at the kerb, and you slid into the back seat. The driver pulled away smoothly, heading downtown. You wondered if this is how Wesker had known you had plans, but you couldn't begin to guess how he suspected it was Nikolai you were meeting. It didn't really matter, you supposed. You wouldn't have lied to him. You didn't lie to Wesker and get away with it. If the man wanted to know something, then he could find it out easily enough.

The lights seemed to flicker and blur as the car moved between traffic. You would be early, most likely, but you didn't mind waiting. Maybe you'd even have a drink to calm your nerves, although drinking wasn't something you tended to do. You didn't like feeling out of control.

Soon, the car was pulling up outside a small bar. Inside, you could see patrons milling about, people drinking, heads close together. You hadn't picked the venue, but you'd read favourable reviews in the local press. You thanked the driver, pressed a crisp $20 into his hand and, taking a deep breath, got out of the car.

"Ah, Miss L/n!" The Russian accent was unmistakable, smooth and dark and dizzying. You startled, and he laughed, pushing away from the wall he'd been leaning against. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

The blush that was furiously spreading across your cheeks deepened as your eyes flitted across him. He seemed impossibly tall, even though you weren't particularly short, and he was wearing a smart grey linen jacket and a pale shirt over dark trousers. Even in civilian clothes, he was intimidating, but he made you feel…. safe, somehow. You knew what he had done, what he did for a living. You knew how dangerous he could be. But you didn't feel threatened by him. You smiled.

"It's alright, I just…. Well, I'm early - it didn't occur to me that you would be early too."

"I don't like a lady to have to walk into a bar unescorted." His expression was playful, and you relaxed a little.

"And they say chivalry is dead." Linking your hand into the crook of his proffered arm, you walked into the bar with him. Were you imagining it, or were people staring? Did anyone recognise either of you? Was there anyone here doing surveillance? You shook your head a little, as though trying to shake loose the thoughts. You knew Nikolai would have already run recce here. It was fine.

"Reservation, sir?" The maitre d' asked, his tone polished and bright. Nikolai smiled at the man, and you marvelled at how personable he could appear to be. You knew about his reputation. You knew about his propensity for manipulation, for ingratiating himself with people - you knew this, and worried about it, and somehow were drawn to him anyway. Maybe you had no sense of self-preservation after all.

"Novikov."

You didn’t let your eyes leave the maitre d' and his gloved hand running his pencil down the gilt-lined book, never giving away the sleight in name.

"Ah yes, sir. Yes. Please, follow me." The man made a sweeping gesture and stepped nimbly round the varnished table, and you allowed Nikolai to lead you through the bar. There were booths in the back, curved backs, sleek tables, lined along the wall, but the maitre d' led you off to the left and through a sedate black door. Behind it, there was a staircase, lit with tiny blown-glass lamps, like little frosted irises blooming with soft light. You looked up at Nikolai through your eyelashes as he held the door open for you to go through, and you both followed the man up the stairs.

With a subtle flourish, the man opened the door at the top. The room that you walked into was not as large as the bar down stairs, but there were a small number of fine booths lining the walls. Some of them were occupied, some were empty, but your eyes were drawn to the baby grand sitting on a little plinth in the centre of the room, a tall vase frothing with lilac-coloured flowers beside it. A man in coat and tails sat there, momentarily paused to take a sip of his drink and converse with one of the patrons.

"I didn't know this place was here." You admitted, feeling strangely naïve as you slid into the booth indicated by the maitre d'. The man took your drink orders and then left, and Nikolai looked at you properly for the first time.

"You look very lovely this evening. A little nervous, perhaps, but lovely."

"You look very lovely yourself, Mr. Novikov." Your smile was flirtatious, genuine. It felt as though this was the first thing you had done in an age that wasn't work. It probably was. He laughed.

"Makes sense to keep a low profile. I doubt they'd buy my name was Jones, or Smith, though. Not with this accent."

"You know, I was kind of surprised when you asked if I'd join you tonight." Your fingers played with the edge of the heavy linen napkin, lining it neatly perpendicular to the table edge. Why was it so hard to look at him all of a sudden?

His large hand covered yours, stilling your anxious fidgeting. His skin was warm - a corresponding warmth seemed to bloom low in your belly.

"Why?"

Why, indeed. You glanced up and found his eyes intent on you, his expression intense. His thumb grazed back and forth along the underside of your wrist, the movement mesmerising, tracing the thrum of your pulse.

"I guess I just never imagined you as the kind of man who'd go out for dinner." Or be interested in me. You smiled, "I don't know why I thought you would be working 24/7. Maybe it's because I've only seen you in a work capacity til now."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Miss L/n". His smile was wolfish, sharp. That feeling in your belly made you shift in your seat, pressing your thighs tight together beneath the welcome cover of the table.

"I'll bet."

The smile on his face softened, and he let go of your hand, breaking the breathless feeling of falling, of your mind racing like a rabbit in the parts of your mind you normally kept the doors closed on.

"Let's spend this evening getting to know a few more things about each other, hm?" He raised his glass to you, and you mirrored him, shy and alive.

#nikolai zinoviev #nikolai re3 #fanfiction #fanfic #resident evil wesker #resident evil #f!reader x nikolai

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pandawritesmanythings · 5 years

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Break Dance (Part 1/???)

We all knew it couldn't last forever. But it didn't mean we wanted it to end.

It all started when Jenna disappeared from our room one night. I had been sheltered my whole life and my parents had always been on top of me to make me the perfect child they wished for. So I was scandalized when I heard that my best friend had broken the curfew and escaped the girls' dorm.

"Where were you!?"

"Shhhhhhh! Not so loud" She giggled. I was just amazed at her lack of worry for the consequences this could bring for her.

"You don't get it, do you? You could get expelled for this! What will your parents say?" I angrily whispered.

"Well, what they don't know won't kill them."

I gaped at her. "Who are you and what did you do with Jenna?"

She laughed. "Sarah. I'm fine. I just wanted a night of fun, that's all!"

"And you got it by sneaking out? What were you even doing?"

She bit her lip smiling, her eyes had a spark of mischief that I had only seen in her when talking about Andrè Lozano who studied on the Academy next door for boys.

"If I tell you, you have to swear silence."

"Jenna-"

"I can't tell you otherwise! And I know for a fact that you won't report me."

She had me there."Okay, I swear."

She squealed, apparently happy for being able to tell me whatever were her adventures. She pulled me to her bed and we sat next to each other. Her hands held mine, in confidence.

"You know how there were rumours about Cecile planning a little get together with the best dancers on the academy?" I nodded."It's bigger than that. She is recruiting people for secret dance practice."

"A secret dance practice? Why not do it after class then?"

"We call it that. But it's really... A dance battle. Between the boys and girls."

"WHAT!?" She covered my mouth quickly and we both tensed up, a feeling of dread creeping up our stomach. After what seemed an eternity we both quietly sighed in relief.

"You guys are meeting with boys!?" I quietly panicked.

"It's not what you think! We are not doing anything... forbidden... We just challenge each other to dance battles. It's great practice."

My breath quickened, this was wrong, it was against the rules! Couldn't they see that!? "Hey. Hey. Calm down. I promise it's just dancing. Nothing else."

"It doesn't matter Jenn. You guys are, number one, sneaking out of the academy, number two, breaking the curfew, and number three, seeing boys without supervision! This is terrible, it must be breaking at least 5 more rules in the book of law!"

"Okay. Look, don't freak out, okay? You are my best friend and I really can't hide it from you." Is this what best friends do? I wondered.

"I need you to do something for me."

"What?" I almost snapped. This was not okay, and she knew it.

"Cover for me, would you?" I scoffed and stood up, I walked towards the window. I saw a couple of girls climbing up to their rooms, probably coming back from that forbidden meeting that Jenna had just arrived from.

I took another look at her. Her hair was messy and pointed in many directions, her clothing under her black coat seemed to be all messed up, and her soft makeup ran a little down her cheeks thanks to the intense sweating from climbing up here and dancing."I need to think about it." I concluded. "For now, let's clean you up, you look like a mess."

We spent the next thirty minutes fixing her for bed as quietly as we could. I repeatedly asked her to be honest with me. If something besides dancing had happened I had to know. But she kept saying the dancing was just very intense. I wasn't fully convinced but there really wasn't anything that could serve as evidence of any illegal activities happening. When we finally went to bed it was late. Like, very late. But I had made up my mind.

"Fine. I'll cover for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But if something illegal happens you have to tell me, okay?"

"I promise."

"And don't drag me with you."

"Awww, come on! Not even once?"

"No. Not even once."

She ended up dragging me with her.

I kept telling myself that I was just going to be watching for her, but I knew that on the back of my mind there was a nagging curiosity that I needed to satisfy. The first time we sneaked out it was the day right after finals were over. Jenna agreed to it since she knew there was a lower probability of us being caught, and my stress over finals would be over.

After lights went off we dressed in the dark with some of our home clothes. It felt good to be wearing something besides our regular uniforms. Our dark clothing meshed with the darkness of the night, so leaving our room unnoticed through the window wasn't very hard. When we touched the ground I started to panic though. The guards were doing their rounds and passed us every minute and twenty seconds, but Jenna seemed unaware of the pattern and her movements around the faculty campus were erratic, guiding herself by her hearing and instinct, instead of simple calculations like we were taught.

"Okay. I can't keep on like this, wait." I whispered.

"You are not chickening out are you?"

"What!? Of course not." I desperately tried to quiet her down. "I just want you to follow my lead."

I moved in front of her to have a clear view of where the guard would be when he passed by. After less than a minute he walked by, whistling a happy tune. It didn't make me feel better, in fact, it made me tenser, I felt like I was about to blow up in embarrassment and guilt!

I waited about ten seconds for him to leave enough time for us to go. I grabbed Jenna's hand and sprinted quietly towards the 9-foot tall fence.

"Now what?" I panicked.

"Over the vines." She commanded.

We quickly got to a closed section of the fence that was covered by vines to the point where you couldn't see the fence at all.

"Move it here." She grabbed one of the vines and softly pulled it opening a section of vines that covered the fact of how the fence had a hole on it. I gaped at it, but knowing that we probably had about 20 more seconds I quickly went through it. Jenna followed and we waited in the little pocket that the vines created for both of us to hide slightly squished together.

I heard steps both to my left and my right. The guards were positioned not only inside, but also outside. We gave it ten seconds so we would be out of sight for them and we exited the vine pocket.

Jenna held my hand and from here on we ran, down the hill and through the forest, I started seeing little, barely noticeable marks on the trees we flew by. Like little repetitive dents in the form of a half moon.

After running for about ten minutes we came to a small abandoned town. The buildings were mostly run down, but still standing. I was amazed at seeing a town that had not been yet rebuilt by The Council. The windows were dirty from time and inside I could still see some of the old furniture. Every building had a different sign:

Pub

Mia Pizza

Music Shop

Florist

Melany's Crafts

And so on and forth.

I saw one that said books, and a little idea made me stop. I had already read every book that the library at Julius Academy could offer, and I knew a lot about the now, but... What if inside I could find more about Before? I shook my head at my idiocy.

Every book that wasn't approved by the council was burned to ashes! It was impossible for the rundown town to have anything I hadn't already read. We kept moving until the end of the town where a building, that didn't seem to have any doors, was standing.

Jenna stopped in front of it. "Now. I'm just going to prepare you, there is loud music, and people dance all squished together, but if you want to leave I'll take you back to our room, okay?"

I took in a big breath. "Okay. I'll be fine!" I smiled at her, but I was honestly telling that to myself more than her. I was terrified.

On one of the sides, there was a graffiti with the phrase: "Live. Laugh. Love." In gigantic letters. She knocked in the middle of the "u" of "laugh" three times. I jumped when someone knocked back two times, and she knocked back once more. Then the door opened.

A boy with red hair opened the door, and my ears finally catch the sound of muffled music.

"Spot! Welcome back! Coming to celebrate after finals I suppose?" He said motioning us in and closing the door behind us.

"Yeah! This is my friend, I wanted to show her the place. Tell her the rules." She said excitedly.

He smiled at me tenderly, my expression probably being of sheer terror because I was in a room with a boy for the first time of my life.

" 'Sup, my name is Nyel. Welcome to the UnderBeat." He extended his arm and stood at his distance from me. This made me relax a little bit more.

"Hi, my name is-" "NONONONO!" Jenna interrupted me. "We don't know each other's real names. We go by name codes so if we get busted no one really knows who the others are."

I stood thinking for a moment. "Well, I guess that makes sense." I looked back at the green-eyed guy and cocked an eyebrow. "But isn't Nyel a name?"

"Nah, it's a part of my name slightly changed and re-arranged, but it would be too complicated for your little head to comprehend." He slightly leaned in towards me.

I didn't blink. "I believe some of the possible names could be, Nathaniel, Daniel or Nile."

He gaped at me. "Well, remind me to check on my personal biases. Spot, this girl is smart, be sure to drag her back every once in a while. Some guys here could really use some setting straight on what girl power means." He smiled at me and I smiled a little prouder. "Welcome to the family."

He was still keeping his distance and I extended my hand to shake his. He hesitated for a moment but shook my hand with excitement nonetheless.

"Welp! Formalities aside, let's get you started. First, you need a code name. Don't worry, I'll tell you if any is currently occupied." He said while grabbing a clipboard.

"What should I choose? I have no idea."

"Well, many choose something that represents them, or something that they like or an encrypted part of their name." He signalled himself.

I looked at Jenna. "Spot?"

"My style of dancing. Ballet on the spot. Long stationary pirouettes." She twirled to prove her point and I giggled.

"Then... Maybe... Swan?" I looked shyly at him and he beamed at me.

"Lemme guess! You like ballet?"I nodded and looked away with a tiny smile."Good, if you chose is 'cuz you like it!" He walked over to a shelf that held a variety of paints and started picking some out. "So, black and white?"

"And some pink, if you can..." I added.

"Deal." He said grabbing the last paint.

Moving a chair closer he sat in front of me. "Okay, look. I'm going to get closer than arm's length, but I need to be close to see what I'm doing. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or you would like me to step away, you tell me. Okay?"

I shuddered a breath. "Okay."

"Good. Now, let's get started."

I closed my eyes shut. In the darkness, the bass of the music still pumped into my ears. I felt his rough fingers touch my face and I slightly flinched away.

"Hey, it's okay! You are fine. Spot is right here."

"Yeah, I'm right here." Jenna reaffirmed me while putting her hands on my shoulders.

He grabbed my face softly and almost immediately I felt the soft pressure of the brush and the coldness of the paint spread through the bridge of my nose, my cheekbones, temples and forehead. He worked slow and progressively, expanding throughout my face, making spirals, small strokes and touches that were parallel on both sides of my face. I slowly relaxed and focused on feeling. Feeling the strokes on my face. His hand searching for a soft way to support himself without making me feel uncomfortable. Jenna's hands massaging every once in a while my shoulders when I tensed up. Feeling what I had never felt before, knowing that one day I may not be able to experience new feelings again, so I wanted to engrave these feelings on my memory. Forever.

"And, voila! Let me tell you, this might be my best one yet, it's simple, yet elegant and unique." I opened my eyes and saw Nyel holding a mirror his hands showing me my face.

"You look stunning Sa- I mean! Swan." I gasped when suddenly my brain processed the art on my face. It started white on my nose and slowly turned into soft looking black feathers on both my temples. Completed with pink swirls that seemed to come out of the sides of my face, from my hairline on.

"So. What'cha think gorgeous?"

I choked a laugh. "Wh-What do I think?" I asked softly touching my face. "I-I love it."

"Aw, just part of the job darling." He said saluting me. "Besides, we had to make sure your virgin little ears would become accustomed to the pounding bass the goes on down there. Now go to Fatima over the booth, she'll give you something more comfortable to wear." He said pushing me towards a girl that was moving clothing racks around.

"Aren't we on code name basis?" I asked Jenna.

"Yeah, Fatima is her code name. She doesn't talk about why though, so better not ask."

"Oh, okay."

The girl wore a green and pink neon outfit, her dark curly hair slightly lighter than her natural complexion."So, Swan, right?" She said blowing bubblegum.

"Y-Yeah..."

"Great, come in here I have two ideas for you. One is very according to your style of dancing, the other is more... Flexible if you ever want to learn new styles. Which let me tell you, that often happens down here."

She led me inside a covered booth and tossed me two outfits. One that looked like a white ballet outfit but had a military black jacket over the top and the other one looked like comfy white sweatpants with soft pink dyes. A black strapless top and sports pink and white jacket with the words Nik on it. I was pretty sure there was another letter after the k but it was faded so I couldn't make it out.

I chose the second since it looked way comfier, and, honestly, I didn't want to wear another tutu out of practice.

"Ah! You look ravishing my dear!" Fatima squealed and hopped.

"Absolutely gorgeous Swan!" Jenna confirmed. I gaped at her as I saw what she wore. More scandalized than anything. She wore red shorts with black tights and knee-length military boots. Her shirt was long sleeved on one side and the other showed her whole shoulder. Her slick brown hair tied into a high ponytail and red lipstick on her lips.

"Was I in there for too long?" I worried.

"About ten minutes, we decided by the second that we were going to get me ready to go. Now, Fatima will do your hair, and I'll get my paint job done." Jenna explained and walked away.

Fatima looked at me with a smirk. "You have a fabulous friend. Let her give you fashion advice often, okay?"

"Okay." I smiled shyly.

"How do you want your hair honey?"

"Simple, if possible, and make my makeup as simple as you can too." Fatima cocked an eyebrow but nodded nonetheless. "Your wish is my command!" She quickly raised my light brown hair into a messy bun and applied some shiny gloss over my lips.

"Okay, ready to see the UnderBeat?"

"I guess."

"Then look over there..."

It was amazing as if I couldn't recognize myself. That is not me in the mirror. Sarah Bell is not the one doing this... This is Swan.

And suddenly, Swan seemed invincible.

"Ready to go down?" Jenna asked while her chin was resting on my shoulder.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, let's go."

We got out of the booth and I waved towards Nyel and Fatima as we approached the door. Jenna grabbed the handle and opened it. Immediately I felt the heat and bass coming out at its full strength. My heart quickened as we stepped down to be greeted with a dim lit room, with red and pink soft lights on the corners that gave a very mysterious vibe to the whole room. Honestly, if someone else that I knew was in the room I wouldn't have known. It was dark, everyone's clothes were shining with neon colours, the areas with pink on my outfit and makeup were brightly lit, but it seemed like Nyle and Fatima had made an effort for being minimalist with the neon. So as I did in school, at first at least, I seemed to fit in and be almost invisible on the sea of dancing bodies.

At the end of the room, there was a box with discs and buttons that a girl with a tiger makeup was playing the music. We made eye contact at some point and she did finger guns my way, I just waved.

I thought Jenna would stay by my side at all times, but almost immediately someone pulled her away and I found myself lost in the crowd. Without my friend. In an unknown environment. Finally, I decided it was safer to stay by the walls. So there I stood for about thirty minutes, looking at the people dance in various styles to the rhythm of pumping salsa music.

If someone had paid any attention to me they could have thought I was bored. But you know what? I never felt happier. I was amazed at the girls who did a double step to the rhythm of the song, the guys who seemed to throw their bodies around doing acrobatics. Boys and girls danced next to each other holding hands and twirling together, but besides their hands, their bodies weren't actually touching.

I wished to join them... But I couldn't. I honestly didn't dare. I was already here and even if Swan seemed invincible, I, Sarah, was scared to death thinking of how many rules we were breaking and how many more I could break if I decided to join.

"Okay! Everyone having fun!?" The DJ talked into an old-looking mic. The crowd cheered back. "That's what I like to hear!" She pumped her fist on the air. "Now! I had a little idea that I would like for everyone to try!" I think she glanced my way.

"Your ideas suck Tigress!" A girl shouted laughing at her.

"Not as much as you do in math class Creak!" A chorus of Oh's and laughs followed. "Anyway. Boys on one line and girls on another. Let's mix this little party up!"

Everyone got in line and I saw Jenna beckoning me to come over, so I stepped in line next to her. I leaned over and whispered since the music had stopped.

"What are doing?"

"I don't know, sometimes Tigress comes up with some crazy fun ideas!"

I thought back at the girl who had insulted the DJ. "You think she is going to get kicked out?"

"Who?"

"The girl who said the DJ's ideas were bad?"

"Ah, Creak? Nah, that's what we call down here as friendly bullying. Anywhere else it would be considered an offence, but for us is a totally laughable joke. I'm pretty sure nor Tigress nor Creak are mad for roasting each other." She shrugged.

"Roasting?"

"You know, when you say a hurtful truth on a joking -or not so joking- way." Oh dear, I was going to have to get used to this, wasn't I?

"Okay, everyone! Just follow my instructions and by the end, you'll challenge against whoever remains in front of you!"

I will what!? Nah man, that ain't gonna cut it.

"Jen- Spot, I don't think I can-" "Oh don't worry! As long as you don't end up with Wire you must be fine!" Jenna interrupted me while secretly pointing towards a guy who very clumsily tried to get in line. "He would trip you in a second." She laughed.

DJ Tigress began shouting out instructions on where to move. Soon I lost sight of Jenna, again. My thoughts screamed at me to keep alert, to not let my guard down on the sea of dancing people.

"Stop!" We all froze into place.

"Now look up at your partner."I looked up and my eyes met with a pair of brown ones.

"Hey."

Was I sweating? I swear I was sweating.

"H-Hi." Don't stammer you, idiot.

"And now, get ready! Cause the competition is about to begin! Just come and sign in with your partner!"

I tried to gulp the knot on my throat down."You wanna go?" He asked cocking an eyebrow.

"A-Actually, would you mind waiting a bit... I don't really feel comfortable in crowds."

He seemed surprised for a moment but his eyes softened quickly and smiled. "Sure. Let's wait until the bunch of people leave."

We stood by the wall maintaining the 3 feet distance established by the state between boys and girls. As the flow of teens reduced by the sign-in table we both just stared in the distance, a tense silence between us.

"So," He stretched the word. "What do you wanna dance to?"

I met his eyes but turned my face fairly quickly in embarrassment. "I-I... I like ballet..."

He grinned. "I'm best at breakdance, but I'm fairly good at ballet." He did a little twist and winked at me playfully.

I giggled and nodded. "Do you know if they could do some kind of mash of the two genres?"

"Yeah! Tigress is the best DJ on the west coast."

We finally got to the table and he did all the talking. Tigress seemed like a very nice girl, her dark curls had green, blue and pink neon extensions and her face had a paint job that resembled the stripes of a tiger. They both agreed on a song and we quickly went back to our wall and waited for our turn.

It could have been awkward, but between planning how I was going to beat a guy in a dance I had never seen before and the performances of the other contestants I was deeply busy the whole time.

The couples varied. Somewhere two boys or two girls and some were like us. It didn't really matter because all of them danced in a beautiful and different way. They taunted their partner in many ways, but if they were of different gender, they barely ever made contact. Although we were under no supervision, it was no surprise that a group of teens who had been raised on the strict gender rules of our society still feared someone finding us not only dancing up close... But touching someone of the opposite sex.

Soon enough, it was our turn. The boy beckoned me to follow him and he stood in the middle of the circle that the other teens had formed to get a good view of the dancing couple. Some had left after a while, especially if the dancing was uninteresting and repetitive, so I was grateful that we didn't have such a large audience.

Violins started playing through the stereo. I stood in my tippy toes, the familiar song coursing through my veins. I raised my hands over my head and closed my eyes doing a small turn while still standing on the tip of my toes.

Suddenly there was a change on the song that made my eyes fly open. The blonde stood closer to me. He smiled smugly, his stance defying me.

Through the stereo, I heard the familiar singer of the song... "Figaro!".

I returned the smile, even though the feeling of failure started to creep up on me. He stood up in his hands as the beat dropped and rotated with his hands, legs expertly swinging around. As soon as he stood back up I knew it was my turn so to the beat I did as many pirouettes as I could, my foot lifted to his eye level as I got slowly closer to him and he backed up with my movements. To finish him off I place my foot on the ground in the first position to stabilize myself and did one last pirouette using the impulse to wrap my act in an attitude.

He seemed impressed by it but he didn't miss a beat as I untangled myself and he placed his back on the floor and used his legs to turn around like a windmill. After a bit, he threw himself up and stood up to me.

We circled each other as the beat dropped once more and when he least expected it I threw myself backwards and stood up in my hands elegantly twirling while standing on them.

"Heh... You're getting the hang of this." He smiled at me with something like pride in his eyes.

I did a pirouette as I got closer to him and smiled smugly at his surprised expression. "Focus," I whispered to warn him that the song hadn't ended.

More people seemed to get closer, I heard cheers every time he did a trick on the floor. And oh's, ah's and whoa's when I mixed gracefully some of his "breakdance" dance moves with ballet.

As the song finished of we circled each other once more, both panting and tired. But adrenaline rushing through our veins nonetheless.

I did a series of kicks as he jumped with his remaining energy all about, sometimes freezing for periods of seconds at a time. We both got closer together at the same time and as I did a Jette to finish off, I felt his hands on my waist lifting me off to help me get farther and help me fall in one foot as the other raised behind me.

The song had ended and everyone burst into cheering and celebration for both of us.

But I really couldn't hear them.

I just could feel the burning sensation of the blonde's hands on my waist.

Even though he touched me with such delicacy as if he was afraid I was going to break under his touch.

We stared at each other for what seemed forever, searching in each other's faces the reason for our unity and the spark that happened when we dance together as if we could read each other's minds. We tried to find a reason for this, but we found none. Only each other.

"I didn't catch your name." He said as I softly returned my foot to the ground.

"Call me Swan... What about you?" He removed his hands from my waist when I regained my own balance.

"Beatbox. You can call me Beatbox."

#BreakDance #Dancing #Original #Orignal Story #my writing #ballet #It's kinda long #i'm sorry #but I loved writing this #next part in 30000000 years!#part 1 of many

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m4rkshouse · 7 years

Text

okay so i keep reading prompts for spy au’s and they finally got me to write one so here’s a document from “Fantagio Inc.” which details the newest members of the a.s.t.r.o. team. (this au is lowkey inspired by the avengers and how those agencies exist except minus the superpowers bc nobody has superpowers in this ok cool) i think i’ll probably continue this au as a series of files which document the work that the a.s.t.r.o. team does tho eventually you might see some kind of fic/oneshot which is part of it so consider this a “part one”! anyways,,, i’ll stop talking now, please enjoy!! :)

Fantagio Inc. is a top-secret government funded spy agency disguised as a regular company located in Seoul, South Korea. The agency has been around since the early 1960s when governments around the world were secretly asked to develop agencies and training programs which would allow the United Nations to discover possible threats from every part of the globe. The primary focus back then had been international security but since their formation, each country’s agency has begun to focus more and more on domestic security instead. Attached below are the profiles of six agents now under consideration for the newest age of the organization’s a.s.t.r.o. team (or “alternative safety threat reaction + observation” team). The a.s.t.r.o. team is a group of carefully selected agents, chosen once every 25 years by Fantagio who work to keep track of the globe’s biggest threat, c.h.a.r.t. (or “central hostile agency/resistance team”), and to keep them at bay. The following agents are those who Fantagio considers to be most qualified to take part in this initiative, one which takes the utmost devotion and skill to succeed in.

agent: agent 0196, park jinwoo (common alias; jinjin) age: 22 height: 5′8″ years of service/level: 4 years of service with agency; currently a level 5 agent achievements: led the drug and substance unit through a total of 8 successful busts. entered into the field with the highest final test score of any other trainee that year. comments: based on our assessment, agent 0196 would act as a suitable unit chief and senior supervisory special agent for the a.s.t.r.o. team. his abilities in leadership, responsibility, and his loyalty for the company are great indications of his ability as leader. additionally, agent 0196 can speak Korean, English, and basic Chinese. along with his outstanding fieldwork over the last 4 years, 0196 has demonstrated a great knowledge and skill for spy work in general. in his years of service, 0196 has demonstrated competence, intelligence, and surprisingly, kindness, in his work as an agent and in his collaborative work with other agents and other members of the agency.

agent: agent 0777, kim myungjun (common alias; mj) age: 24 height: 5′9″ years of service/level: 3-4 years of service with agency (time frame isn’t completely known); currently a level 4 agent achievements: completed training in the shortest time of any other agent in the history of Fantagio Inc. has worked over 20 cases in which he was able to successfully persuade the target to trust him and gained useful knowledge for the job he was working as a result. comments: based on a review of his profile, agent 0777 would act as a suitable senior supervisory special agent and primary communication liaison. agent 0777 has a reputable ability to extract information from targets swiftly and successfully. as well, agent 0777 has a likeable personality and great ability for socialization, thus making him the ideal choice for the team’s communication liaison. coupled with his surprisingly excellent achievements in fieldwork, 0777 has an uncanny ability for making people, especially targets, trust him and divulge information. his work within the agency provides him with the right to act as a supervisory agent; guiding and teaching the other member’s of the a.s.t.r.o. team along with the leader, agent 0196.

agent: agent 0198, lee dongmin (common alias; cha eunwoo) age: 20 height: 6′0″ years of service/level: 4 years of service with agency; currently a level 5 agent achievements: only trainee to ever receive a perfect score on the final test. has successfully completed over 75 jobs as an agent in nearly every unit Fantagio has. one of only 3 agents to have their entire family involved with agency. comments: after reviewing his extensive profile, Fantagio has decided that agent 0198 would act as a suitable supervisory special agent and primary intelligence agent. in his work within the agency, he has shown, on various occasions, the ways in which he can use quick-thinking, smart assessments of situations, and his own knowledge to successfully complete missions/jobs. as well, agent 0198 can speak Korean, English, basic Chinese, and basic Japanese. in combination with his extremely successful fieldwork as an agent, 0198 demonstrates his ability as an agent in day to day work around Fantagio in his work with other agents and members of the agency.

agent: agent 0097, moon bin (common alias; unknown/unidentified) age: 19 height: 6′0″ years of service/level: 7 years of service with agency however 5 were spent in training; currently a level 2 agent achievements: one of the most qualified agents in the agency despite his level. in combination with agent 7984 and partially agent 2883, has worked the back end of over 100 jobs which ended successfully. comments: after a review of his file, Fantagio has come to the conclusion that agent 0097 would participate as a suitable supervisory special agent and primary chemical/poison detection agent. agent 0097 is one of Fantagio’s most qualified agents and spent over 5 years in training in order to become one of the agencies longest standing agents of the new generation (along with agent 7984). additionally, he has an uncanny ability to detect poisons/chemicals in situations due to a keen sense of smell. in addition, 0097 has trained for 2 years in chemical/poison identification and control. he has participated as a second in command on nearly 25 successful missions; the most of any other level 2 agent. agent 0097 has also participated in 3 total solo missions, all of which were 100% successful. 0097 will likely be promoted to level 3 agent before the end of the year.

agent: agent 7984, park minhyuk (common alias; rocky) age: 18 height: 5′9″ years of service/level: 7 years of service with agency however 5 were spent in training; currently a level 1 agent achievements: black belt in taekwondo. along with agent 0098, has managed to crack over 25 different codes/encryptions without the use of technology. comments: upon reading through his profile, Fantagio has decided that agent 7984 would act as a suitable supervisory special agent and primary decryption agent. agent 7984 displays a strong ability in the physical aspect of fieldwork, and has demonstrated on multiple occasions his skill in the more mental side of things. as well, 7984 has worked closely alongside agent 0196 in the drug and substance unit and has exhibited the necessary skills to become a key contributor in fieldwork. has acted as the extra man or second in command on a successful job over 10 times, however, has yet to participate in any solo jobs. 7984 will likely be promoted to level 2 agent before the end of the year.

agent: agent 2883, yoon sanha (common alias; unknown/unidentified) age: 17 height: 6′0″ years of service/level: 5 years of service with agency; currently a level 0 agent achievements: great skill with technology. ability to memorize complicated sequences rapidly and without much effort. comments: after an extensive review of his profile, Fantagio can positively decide that agent 2883 would best fit the position of supervisory special agent and primary technical analyst. agent 2883 is one of the first agents to complete training which contains the newest and most updated technological skills and assets. in this way, he is Fantagio’s top choice for the team’s technical analyst. though he has only just finished his training, agent 2883 is one of the agencies most dedicated and hardworking agents. he has taken part in 15 successful missions from the back end, and has acted as an extra man in 3 jobs total. 2883 will likely be promoted quite a few levels for his skill in the field and on the back end within the next few years.

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evanvanness · 4 years

Text

Annotated edition, Week in Ethereum News, March 15 issue

The number of EthCC attendees (for the record, most people I talk to now think the afterparty was the main spreading event) testing positive since I published the newsletter, even while many can’t get tested. So no caffeine or beer for me just in case I’m affected (though I left the afterparty very early), and that lack of caffeine is pulling me down just a little. This might be a low-energy, “please clap” Jeb annotated issue.

Eth1

Overlay method for hex to binary tree conversion

A summary of the post-EthCC Stateless Eth meetings. Renewed focus on sync, particularly getNodeData

A writeup post-stateless ETH summit after ethCC as well as a summary. Quiet times usually follow productive meetings, hence only 2 bullet points this week.

Eth2

Latest Eth2 call. Notes from Ben and Mamy. Phase 1 prototyping coming soon

Latest phase0 spec v0.11, the target for stable multi-client testnet

Ben Edgington’s notes from networking call

Nimbus client update – interop this month, discussion around constraints of running eth2 client on mobile devices

Two phase2 ethresearch posts: Appraisal of Non-sequential Receipt Cross-shard Transactions and Atomic Cross Shard Function Calls using System Events, Live Parameter Checking, & Contract Locking

Vitalik’s Using polynomial commitments to replace state roots, though this is not likely to hit the current roadmap. More context from listening to Justin Drake and Vitalik Buterin on Zero Knowledge

So my current estimate (completely my own) is that we’re likely looking at late q2 for phase0 launch. But who knows, maybe getting locked down will provide a small speedup? <wry grin>

I continue to think that by far the most important thing after shipping phase 0 is turning off proof of work. Stop wasting electricity! Cut issuance!

Stuff for developers

Solidity v0.6.4

A storage layout for proxy contracts taking advantage of Solidity v0.6.4

EthGlobal’s survey of Eth developers

10x smaller Javascript signer/verifier

Interacting with Ethereum using a shell through Incubed ultra-light client

Groth16 bellman proof verifier

Templates with pre-filled contract ABIs, addresses and subgraphs for Aave, Compound, Sablier, Uniswap

Prysmatic’s service registry pattern in Go

Implementing Merkle Trees and Patricia Tries in Node.js

Pipline onchain interpreted language vid

Austin Griffith vid on wallet module for eth.build

OpenZeppelin points out that a malicious deployer can backdoor your Gnosis Safe

SmartBugs: framework for executing Solidity automated analysis tools, with an academic paper comparing tool performance

I probably should’ve added that your Gnosis Safe is always safe if you used the official front end of the mobile app.

Crypto carnage, Maker liquidations

Thursday’s global selloff of risk assets led to the most negative price action day of crypto’s short history. The selloff inflated gas prices (~200 gwei) which caused trouble for Maker. The Maker oracles stopped working for an hour or two.

Maker liquidation auctions went off for nearly 0 DAI as bots bidding on those auctions got caught in high gas prices and ran out of DAI, leading several different bot maintainers to make ~8m USD in ETH by bidding just above zero in a few disparate time periods.

As a result, the Maker system surplus became a 5.7m Dai deficit (as of the time of publication). To improve incentives, Maker governance changed some parameters and to recoup the debt MKR will be auctioned onchain for lots of 50,000 Dai on the morning (UTC) of March 19th.

Community members have started a backstop to ensure the deficit is covered

Here is a writeup of the Maker liquidations with data and graphs

Just published: Maker governance proposal to change DSR to 0 and Stability Fee to 0.5%, GSM to 4 hours, and a decentralized circuitbreaker for auctions

An interesting thing I just learned is that Maker’s standard keeper apparently only works in Parity, not with Geth or Infura. So that’s another ramification of the Kovan/Rinkeby split, and getting Maker to use Kovan.

In the meantime, USDC has been added as a collateral. It’s rather strange but USDC perhaps makes sense as a way to mint DAI in times of stress and get closer to the peg. Seems like the Stability Fee should be set high here though, as you really only want people using it in times of needing Dai, eg in auctions. Right now it’s 20%, i’m not sure that’s as high as it should be.

This newsletter doesn’t often mention price and market-related matters. But it’s quite clear that crypto is not a safe haven in crisis. Could it be in the future? Perhaps, but all the hedge funds and institutional money simply exacerbate volatility. Where we’re at is that when people wanted to take risk off the table, they viewed crypto as a risk asset - and Bitcoin got hit the hardest because it had survived the best in crypto winter, despite there being no reason whatsoever for it to have done the best.

Ecosystem

Prysmatic’s Raul Jordan: Eth2 is happening, it is shipping, and we’re going to make it a reality no matter what

EthIndia’s online hackathon winners

DuneAnalytic’s stats for smart contract wallets

4GB DAG size and potential hashrate impact

So far, 9 attendees of EthCC have tested positive for COVID-19

A fun parlor game: what will be the next big ETH event? Devcon? Or something before, or something after? I think we’re going to see a lot more online hackathons - and probably more sponsorship dollars for them. Perhaps more sponsorship fiat for newsletter subscriptions too?

Raul’s post on eth2 was the most clicked of the week.

Enterprise

End to end transport layer security with Hyperledger Besu v1.4

DAML now available on Besu

Paul Brody talks Baseline Protocol on Into the Ether

How Citi and ConsenSys use Ethereum for commodities trade finance

Nice komgo writeup. Also interesting to see that the bet of Besu seems to be paying off with enterprise privatechain stuff like DAML even on Besu.

Governance, DAOs, and standards

Livepeer’s proposed governance roadmap

SingularDTV announces snglsDAO Foundation for their media protocol press release

Aragon removes AGP voting for ANT holders

What DAOs can learn from the Swedish Pirate Party

How to quickly create your own DAOstack DAO

FakerDAO – pool your MKR to sell votes to highest bidder

Governance as a whole has probably been one of Ethereum’s weak points. Not as bad as governance-by-Blockstream, but still not great. People don’t turn out to vote so direct voting doesn’t work (to wit, Aragon removing voting which was the only use for ANT) - and yet one of the solutions for people not voting actually penalizes people for voting, as I’ve found out in DxDAO. I’m hopeful for some of the solutions but to date long-term governance of everything is mostly an unsolved issue.

Application layer

Numerai’s ErasureBay live on mainnet. A marketplace for any kind of information, where the buyer can slash the seller if they don’t like the information

DeFiSaver’s 1click transaction CDP closing using flashloans

Gnosis’ Gibraltar-regulated Sight political markets are live

Update on Augur v2. tldr: it’s close

Balancer’s code is open source

bZx’s mea culpa post mortem of the attacks. They also paid 1inch the full bug bounty two weeks ago.

Bluestone fixed rate loans and deposits, live on Rinkeby testnet

Maker’s Dai Gaming Initiative

VirtuePoker’s final beta launches March 16th

HavenSocial, a web3 alternative to Facebook where you own your own data

Nice to see people are still trying to build social media alternatives. The idea of building a better Facebook is definitely an enthralling one - yet not one that Ethereum has even come close to delivering.

Same with games - we’ve been talking about tokens/NFTs on ETH being a big thing in games for awhile. Nothing has quite hit it (let’s be honest, CryptoKitties was just a different flavor of ICO mania) but I think Skyweaver might.

My usual ex-post metric of seeing how much of this section is DeFi: 10 bullet points, depending on how you count you could say it’s 4 to ~8.

Tokens/Business/Regulation

David Hoffman: Ethereum as emergent structure

USDC: programmable dollars with business accounts and APIs

Uniswap volume is now tracked on Coinmarketcap

wBTC passes Lightning Network in value locked up

Matthew Green: US congressional bill EARN IT is a direct attack on e2e encryption

Mass panic like with Corona is always a perfect moment to add bills on as riders to must-pass bills, so look for anti-encryption hawks to try to do this in the name of “safety.” Maybe even to bailout bills.

Kinda interesting to see CMC finally add Uniswap volume. They’ve been quite slow to add dexes generally; it seems like Bitcoiners often have a hard time adjusting to decentralization when they’ve been used to all the centralized BTC tradeoffs.

And Circle is now all-in on USDC. From Santander prototype at Devcon2 to $600m now printed, and this doesn’t even count Tether belatedly realizing that BTC was a terrible choice to secure Tether.

General

Contribute computing cycles to fight COVID-19

Stay private in DeFi with email

Brave’s nightly release features random browser fingerprints per session

Load Value Injection attack on Intel SGX

Jacobians of hyperelliptic curves explainer from Alan Szepieniec

Ryan Sean Adams’ “how to” on using ProtonMail or equivalent is the 2nd most clicked, showing how he’s one of the most important people in Ethereum right now. He takes concepts them and popularizes them.

The random browser fingerprints is huge, and a big step up in privacy.

Meanwhile if you have 2gb or 3gb GPUs, you can fold some proteins which may have an impact on COVID-19. I’m always skeptical, but it seems likely to be worth the cost. Especially if you’re like me and get super cheap electricity in Texas through GridPlus! Crypto is not cancelled in Texas.

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pangenttechnologies · 7 years

Photo

Argentina.

How did this all even happen?

I'm probably repeating myself. I do that.

It was December, 2016. Technically Alexander Schreyer was my assistant then, because his father didn't know what to do with him. In practice he was what he always was - an outsized pain in my ass. He embarrassed himself while answering questions on Twitter. My Twitter. Unprofessional doesn't describe it. I'm unprofessional. He was worse.

This led to meetings about how we needed to rethink our social media strategy. Somehow this became my problem. Like I was in marketing instead of research. I got to deal with bullshit while Alex failed upwards. Every inch the boss's son. I guess that was his plan.

So I had to delete everything from the Twitter and my personal Tumblr. My job depended on it, and if they read through everything I posted on Tumblr I'd be in more trouble than I was. Seems silly now. Seemed silly then. I wrote a script to delete everything and, well, it deleted everything. I fucked up, I really did. I guess that was his plan.

They fired me. Then they wanted me back. On the condition that I sign a new contract. I should have shoved it down his throat. Six sheets of paper and they owned me from that point on. Any work I did, any thought that came through my mind was theirs. How did they put it? Oh yes. "Any information may be duplicated, edited, and/or exploited in whole or in part by Pangent Technologies, in all media, throughout the universe, in perpetuity, and may be incorporated into other works in any form, media or technology now known or hereafter developed."

They owned my mind, right down to writing emails or writing a diary or shitposting on Tumblr. I kept doing that, by the way, once I had the Tumblr mostly on private, or encrypted somehow. I don't know if they noticed but I never learned how to stop.

It's not unusual when working for a big company that they want first refusal rights to your every thought. But Pangent London wasn't a big company. And I was walking into a trap. I knew that even then. Like I said, Alex had a plan.

I said yes, because the trap I was walking into was a really interesting one.

Now you might ask, with a contract like that, what happens later when I learn how to say no?

Alex had Leslie sign the same contract. I would put a bullet through his head today for that alone. I wouldn't hesitate for a moment.

And he sent me a photo of something.

He'd seen me working on Percival, one of my many outrageous failures. A project to translate a person's dreaming thoughts into computer data. The requirements for data storage were impossible. So was the processing power it required. I set the damn lab on fire.

Lancelot, Dean Schreyer, Alex's father, he forgave me for a lot of things. Too many. He could be a real creep but he let me follow my thoughts to their illogical conclusion. He didn't care how many labs I set on fire as long as I was onto something.

My specialty was using science to understand the human brain. And if you've ever met me in real life, you should be laughing right now, because I don't understand people. I'll admit that. I keep to myself and I don't make friends easy.

Leslie was my friend. And I wish I'd been a better friend to her because there's nothing about her I don't love.

My closest friend was Sharon Pacana, and she followed me around for years, like a walking shadow, before I realized I liked her company. Nobody else has ever been that patient.

Well, two men were that patient with me. They waited for me to love them and I married both of them as a thank you.

It never lasts, you know. You think something will last forever. You've got to find your happiness while you can. Every story ends. We've all got an ending coming to us. That's how it works. You've got to teach your children to enjoy life, in spite of it all, and to love somebody because who knows if we'll still be here tomorrow? But we don't, you know? We do our jobs and let inertia and anxiety take over our lives, and we don't make time to enjoy it because it gets too hard. Like Joni Mitchell said, you don't know what you've got til its gone.

I'd done a thing at Pangent that we just called Project Four. It started as something more high-minded, but became a stress test on the human brain. Pushing it to the boiling point. It was about sleep cycles and sleep deprivation and chemicals, so many chemicals. We stopped valuing our lives for awhile, in order to see how the brain really works when you don't mind a little bit of torture. It ended up involving some of the worst people at Pangent. I don't think that was an accident. I made every wrong decision I could have possibly made. On purpose, maybe. Subconsciously. We staffed the thing with a lot of over-ambitious backstabbers. They were the fire and the water that Project Four boiled in.

I should have been fired. I should have been arrested.

Instead I got fired over temporarily breaking our Twitter. And Alex used the time to search through my files.

Alex was just smart enough to know that if I hadn't been fired before, it was because I was following his father's plan. Consciously or not, I was getting approved to do research that Dean Schreyer thought was important. Even I didn't understand that then. I had a history of disastrously failed projects, but to Dean Schreyer, it was all the same thing.

It was about understanding the brain.

Alex knew that his father saw something in my work that even I didn't. So he pretended he saw it too. He pretended to understand. He figured whatever it was, he could profit off of it. Make his daddy proud. He learned just enough to get his father to tell him the truth.

There was something I wrote, for the personality test. I think I wrote it. And I never figured out the answer.

They would ask me, should technology be free? Does progress belong to the people? I could have been a billionaire if I’d only sold my soul. I really could have. Dean and Alex saw dollar signs in the wreckage I'd left behind me, if I could actually make it work.

Dean Schreyer had been planning this for a long time. And there's a point where that plan became very dangerous.

It was all just science. Research. But so was the atom bomb. Dean knew that too. He knew there was a line I didn't want to cross. He knew my projects tended to fail at the point where they could have become dangerous to the survival of the human race.

Project 555 started out dangerous, and it never got any less so. It made me lose all perspective on what dangerous even is.

To Dean Schreyer, I was his star student. The teacher's pet. I think he thought he loved me.

555 could have killed me. It was killing me. He didn't care about that, if I got results.

I was fired and far away from Pangent when Alex sent me a photograph of a Cube.

When I saw it, I somehow was filled with a paralyzing fear. I lost consciousness. I became very ill. Immediately. But there was something thrilling about it too. It didn't take long before I got used to that fear. Before that fear became a friend to me.

It came in a glass box. A shimmering blue, or black if you shined no light on it. Somewhere between solid and liquid. Always rippling but never moving. About a hundred folds in it per inch. I don't know where they got it, or how they made it, if they made it. I don't think they made it. I no longer had the clearance to ask. I guess I'll never know now, though it's hardly left my side since. Especially now. It had properties unlike anything I've seen before or since. It almost seemed alive. No, forget the almost. Whatever it was they couldn't duplicate it. That would be my job, if I could figure it out. But they saw the potential immediately. Data storage.

Enough storage to take the ideas I'd failed with in the past - Percival, Project Four - and make them work. The potential was there, if I could live through it.

I'd always cut myself off from the world. I'd lived inside my own head. Boxed in. I worked alone, not wanting to ask anyone else for help.

Dean Schreyer was counting on that. That I would push myself to the limit of my sanity. Thanks to Project Four he knew exactly what those limits were. We'd sealed those records. I'm sure now that he opened them. I was always at the breaking point but I never broke. I never consciously realized it, but Dean was always in control. Alex could be spiteful and vicious, and the project was stressful as hell, but somehow there was always just enough room to breathe and keep going.

That's why Project 555 succeeded under me, and failed when Leslie took over. It's not because I'm any smarter than Leslie is. It's because Dean Schreyer was dead, and Alex didn't know or care about Leslie's limits. There was nothing to stop him from breaking her.

Except for us. The Spice Girls. I stopped being Leslie's friend for far too long, but Sharon never did. She kept an eye on things. That was the promise we'd made. Project Drinking Bird.

The idea was to keep an eye on the Cube. Really, we were keeping an eye on each other. As friends. I wish I'd realized that then.

It's helpful to think of the Cube as being under constant stress. It is capable of learning. You can teach it things, and set it to work on problems that aren't particularly important. You have to, because it wants to constantly be moving. It wants to play, like a child.

If you have a cup of water that's 90 percent full, the cup can hold the water and function the way it's supposed to. The Cube is the same way. At a 90 percent stress level the Cube is still mostly harmless. But if you pour 20 percent more stress into that cup, it will overflow. It can no longer function. It might shut down. It might explode. It might never stop exploding.

When I first talked about this with Sharon, she said, "My God, Lottie, it's you. The Cube is you."

I was a cup filled 90 percent of the way with stress. I could still function, but if anything else went wrong I'd be useless for days. I figure Dean Schreyer knew that. I figure he had printouts and graphs about it.

Dean Schreyer wanted to own me, and Alex made that happen. I believe now that that was literally true, and that we were lucky to escape with our lives.

I learned before too long that the Cube has some unusual properties, when it comes to time.

I will tell you something now that I've never told anyone.

I own a drinking bird. A plastic toy, weighted with liquid to bob up and down. Little crack on the bottom. It came in a box, so I couldn't see what color it was. But it's red, with a black top hat.

When I bought it, it was blue.

There's lots of things like that. Wrong in little ways from how I remember them.

Maybe my brain's just broken. Maybe the Cube broke me after all.

Or maybe reality changes all the time around us, in silly little ways.

And we're not supposed to notice.

I'm looking at the Cube right now. I shouldn't. It could kill me. I've got my special glasses on.

Hello 555.

You thought I wouldn't notice, did you?

I did.

#PT

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golicit · 4 years

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Guest Post: Fictional SEC Official Discusses Crypto Off-the-Record

Neil J. Cohen

One of the hot topics in securities regulation and enforcement has been the question of what position the SEC will take with respect to cryptocurrencies. In the following guest post written in the form of a one-scene play, Neil J. Cohen, a lawyer and publisher of the Securities Reform Act Litigation Reporter, imagines a fictional conversation involving an SEC official discussing cryptocurrencies. I would like to thank Neil for submitting his play to be a guest post on this site – this is the first play that has appeared on this site! I welcome guest post submissions from responsible authors on topics of interest to this blog’s readers. Please contact me directly if you would like to submit a guest post. Here is Neil’s play.

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Author’s Introduction: This is a hopefully entertaining dialogue on two SEC enforcement actions against cryptocurrencies. In the scene below, the father is an SEC lawyer. His son is also a lawyer who trades cryptos. The two discuss the motivations to buy and sell tokens, the duty of the SEC to protect small investors, the Howey test, the need to encourage technological innovation and the civil rights of dissidents in the Trump administration.

Setting: Father and son are seated at a table

FATHER: Are you buying cryptos again? Why don’t you heed Warren Buffet’s warning that cryptos are “rat poison squared?” He also says that cryptos are a good long-term short sale.

SON: Dad, technology is not Mr. Buffet’s area of expertise. Bitcoin is a store of value and a hedge against depreciation of the dollar. Besides, it’s a cool collectable, that could keep appreciating. Remember Andy Warhol’s Brillo box. It was an exact copy, considered a joke, now it’s a museum piece.

My generation will earn less than yours. How will I ever be able to retire on a golf course unless I’m a great trader or lucky enough to buy the next Bitcoin? If you watch the price and volume movements of these coins you can sometimes hop on for a quick double or triple. The trick is to sell quickly when the price starts down. It’s like gambling— unless you are a true believer in a particular technology. Then you hold, hoping for wide adoption.

FATHER: You are saying that a crypto is like gold or a lottery ticket. But what about those who fall for the hype, hold on for dear life, and take 90% losses. My job as an SEC lawyer is to protect those people.

SON: Yeah, just like President Reagan sarcastically said, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.” I can protect myself Dad.

Besides, the government is supposed to encourage useful innovations like blockchains. Why then did your office enjoin the Telegram messaging service to stop the sale of its Gram token? Telegram has two hundred million subscribers to its free encrypted service. If subscribers buy and exchange Grams, they could eliminate the middleman charges imposed by banks and credit card companies. Mr. Hinman from your own SEC office described other uses. He said, “Potential applications include supply chain management, intellectual property rights licensing, stock ownership transfers and countless others. There is real value in creating applications that can be accessed and executed electronically with a public, immutable record and without the need for a trusted third party to verify transactions.”

FATHER: The SEC does not want to prohibit the public from ever buying Grams. We just want to make sure the buyers fully understand the risks. That’s why we believe these tokens should be sold through a more formal securities offering. That requirement will cost the promotors a lot more and discourage new tokens. But with over 3000 coins on the market we’ve spent enough time liberally encouraging new technology. Now government agencies are cracking down. IRS has forced token holders to report every trade as a gain or loss instead of treating the trades as like-kind exchanges. The commodity regulators have allowed institutions to make short sales or buy put options on Bitcoin, which should deflate the price. To prevent money laundering and terrorism, the United States Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (‘FinCen”) may soon prohibit networks that don’t record buyer and seller information for each transaction.

SON: I thought the “SAFT” (Simple Agreement for Future Tokens) was supposed to balance investment risk and token utility. I can understand why you think these risky digital assets should not be offered to the public before the public can use them. But the SAFT divides the sale into two parts. The first most risky part would be a formal security offering to institutions or accredited investors. After the blockchain is working those investors could sell tokens to the general public for their utility. Since the Telegram sale was a SAFT, why wasn’t that legal?

FATHER: The two steps of the sale are only a theoretical distinction. In practice, institutional investors typically buy the first offering under 2 cents with the expectation of selling for 20 cents or more to young people who hope to strike it rich by buying the next Bitcoin — or at least make a profit. It’s like a Ponzi scheme where a few early investors profit and the late comers probably take a bath. Its speculation for profit from beginning to end. It doesn’t matter if the promoter’s White Paper doesn’t promise or even hint that buyers will make a profit. We can assume that the prevalent motive for all buyers is to make money because they buy a lot more tokens than they use.

SON: But the SEC appears to be taking different positions on the enforcement against SAFT offerings. For example, the SEC fined Block.one but did not try to enjoin or rescind its huge $4 billion “securities offering.” In the Telegram case the SEC got an injunction to stop the sale. What’s the difference?

FATHER: In Block.one the promotors stated the value of the tokens would be increased by third parties who would make the applications for the blockchain. In Telegram the tokens were designed to be used by 200 million messenger users. This close connection supports the SEC’s view that the tokens are securities under the Howey test because their increase in value depends on Telegram’s efforts.

Of course, promoters are always supposed to increase token value by continually improving the speed and scalability of their blockchains. So it comes down to a balancing test that weighs the promotor’s contribution to value compared to third parties.

When Telegram was sued it did not assert a bright line defense that the tokens are exempt because they are inherently useful. Instead it maintains that, as applied to it, the SEC’s standard is unconstitutionally vague.

The SEC doesn’t have the resources to challenge all of these offerings but the Telegram token is especially problematic. Telegram could enrich itself by starting to take advertising money. Then, after the Gram is in circulation, Telegram could increase the Gram’s value by offering buyers ad-free messaging.

Then there is the question of Telegram’s leadership. The company was founded and is managed by a radical libertarian named Pavel Durov. He is nicknamed the “Mark Zuckerberg of Russia” because he made millions by founding a social media platform there. But when Putin told him to turn over personal information on dissidents he refused. Durov then had to leave Russia. He set up Telegram to be a free encrypted messaging service. He has refused to sell personal information to advertisers or sell ads. He is currently supporting Telegram with the money he made in Russia.

Durov could use the Gram to promote his political views. In response to a terrorist attack in France he is on record as stating, “The French government is as responsible as the Islamic State for this because it is their policies and carelessness that eventually led to this tragedy. They take money away from hardworking people of France with outrageously high taxes and spend them on waging useless wars in the Middle East.”

Now this guy wants to launch a cryptocurrency. The last thing the U.S. needs is a charismatic idealist promoting an encrypted currency to 200 million fellow rebels. The sale could even affect the dollar, the world’s most trusted trading and investment currency. But the federal deficit will soon be 140% of the Gross Domestic Product. The growing debt is unsustainable. The government stopped Facebook’s Libra coin because it was a threat to the dollar. Now we are protecting the dollar from Telegram.

SON: A better way to protect the dollar would be for Congress to respect budgetary restraints. But since Congress no longer seems to care, citizens are smart to hedge with digital currency.

If Trump wins the next election, the drift from democracy to autocracy will accelerate. The government may well track dissidents and how they spend their money. There may even be capital controls to keep dissidents from moving their money abroad.

I agree with you that currently the SEC has a strong case that the Gram is a security. But that will change if a Trump reelection becomes tyrannical. Then, under the Howey balancing test, the primary catalyst for the popularity of the Gram will not be Telegram: It will be the government.

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The post Guest Post: Fictional SEC Official Discusses Crypto Off-the-Record appeared first on The D&O Diary.

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proibblog · 5 years

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4 Things to Do Immediately If Your Kids Are Hacking

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Kids born only a decade ago have far more tech prowess than their parents. This false sense of technical skill leads many kids to infect their parent’s home computers and devices with malicious software.

Unless the parent has a job in a tech field, their children’s understanding of technology far exceeds their own. This can be dangerous in many ways.

So what can you do about it?

Parents: Take Back Control

Many parents might know enough to install parental monitoring software on computers or mobile devices that kids use.

Unfortunately, doing so is not usually effective, since anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of basic hacking tools can bypass parental monitoring software.

There are much more effective ways to control what your kids may be doing online, and you don’t need a PhD in computer science to do it.

Following this simple guide will allow you to regain control of what’s going on within your home network.

The Dangers of Raising a Script Kiddie

The rise of hacking movements like Anonymous, and countless movies and TV shows that glorify computer hacking, gave rise to the popularity of “hacking” among children and teens. For kids who’ve been nursed on iPads, this is especially true.

The reality is that you don’t need advanced coding skills or a college degree in Computer Science to enter into the shadowy world of hacking.

An example of this was 20-year-old Kenneth Currin Schuchman of Vancouver, Washington, who was responsible for developing a massive botnet that hacked over 500,000 internet routers across the world.

Federal investigators tracked down the attack to what they called a “hacking amateur” known as “Nexus Zeta”, a frequent poster on hacker forums. They sized him up as an amateur due to the lack of hacking knowledge he displayed on those forums.

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Yet, Schuchman used existing hacker code and tools to build a malicious botnet the likes of which Federal investigators had only seen from more sophisticated hacker groups.

If you don’t think your little budding hacker could ever get in this kind of trouble, consider that Schuchman was an unemployed, disabled 20-year-old living with his father. He had no formal computer training, and no resources to purchase advanced computer systems. He was working out of his bedroom and messing around on hacker forums, using basic hacker tools and code.

Schuchman is now facing Federal charges and possibly prison time.

How Your Child’s Hacking Can Impact You

My family often turns to me for technical advice. In one case a mother in the family reached out about her iPhone, SMS messaging, and even her bank accounts getting compromised by a hacker.

She advised that she suspected one or more of her kids were interested in “hacking”. This fact raised alarm bells for a number of reasons.

If your child is into hacking, your computers and devices could be compromised in the following ways.

Pirated or Free Software (Trojans)

Having a child interested in hacking increases the odds of getting infected with a Trojan horse application.

A Trojan horse is an application that’s disguised as a seemingly innocent application. This could be a simple hacking tool or a pirated movie or game downloaded off the dark web.

It’s a dangerous infection because it can create a backdoor on the computer, modify files, or steal sensitive information.

And you don’t need sensitive information to be stored on the computer for it to be accessed. The Trojan can use keylogging tools to track your keystrokes when you type in a password on banking or credit card websites.

The Dark Web

Kids who believe they’re “hackers” are often the first to dive into the dark web. In most cases, this involves using the Tor network to download pirated music, movies, and more.

Unfortunately, used the wrong way, it could also deliver malware or other viruses.

If you’re accessing servers located within the Tor network itself, it’s relatively safe so long as the files that are downloaded are not infected themselves.

Where the danger comes in is when the Tor network is used to access the regular internet. “Exit Nodes” are servers where Tor traffic is funneled out to the web, and there have been examples in the past of unscrupulous exit nodes threatening the security of that traffic.

Exit nodes can attempt to:

Steal passwords

Inject malicious code into trusted downloads

Steal personal information

For kids, using the Tor network is just one aspect of feeling like a hacker. Unfortunately, they may not fully understand the ramifications of things like exit nodes or injected malicious code.

And if your child is using the Tor network to access any of your accounts (like your Apple ID or Facebook account) using non-encrypted channels, then your own accounts could be compromised.

How to Take Back Control (For Parents)

If you’ve discovered your kids are actively hacking, there are a few steps you need to take immediately to clean your devices and protect your network.

1. Lock Down Your Router

The very first thing you need to do as a parent is take control of the internet. That means taking control of the router right at the source, where the internet comes into your home.

On your own PC, open a CMD prompt and type: ipconfig.

Now, open up a web browser and type that IP address into the URL field.

You’ll see a login screen. The login ID is typically “admin”. If you don’t know the password then you’ve probably left your router wide open without any security. Unfortunately, this is a common mistake too many people make. If you can log in without typing in any password, then this is the case.

Make sure to set an admin password no one can guess.

When you first log into your router, you may see that your firewall is disabled, or set with low security. You should also look for any unusual devices on your network that you don’t recognize.

Check with your kids to see what devices they’re using, and keep in mind that smart home devices will be listed here as well.

Preferably, choose a security level that blocks dangerous peer-to-peer apps kids use to download pirated content, like BitTorrent.

Your router may also have a “parental control” area where you can strictly limit access to specific websites or sites that contain keywords. You can also only allow router access from specific devices and nothing else.

Most importantly, once you update your router password, do not provide it to your kids.

They might have been able to bypass parental controls on their computer or smartphone, but they won’t be able to bypass your router security unless you’ve used a short password that’s easy to guess.

For more, see our guide to securing your router.

2. Lock Down Devices

youtube

Most major wireless providers today offer the ability for parents to apply safeguards and other controls to how children access the internet.

Services like this let you do things like:

GPS location tracking

Limit screen time

Content filtering

Control what apps can be installed

Just keep in mind that resourceful kids who are into hacking will likely try to jailbreak their iPhone or root their Android so they can do whatever they want. You can install apps on those phones to check if they’ve been compromised. Check them at least monthly.

3. Reset Your Computers and Mobile Devices

Unfortunately, if your kid has been actively downloading and running hacker tools on your network, or downloading pirated content, the safest approach is to start fresh.

This is especially important if you suspect any device on your network has been infected.

This won’t be easy, but it’s the best insurance that your household will be clean of all Trojan horses and other malware.

Before you do any of these steps, make sure to back up important documents, files, images, and video to something like an external hard drive.

Restore all Windows computers to factory default

Restore all Mac computers to factory default

Reset all Android smartphones under Settings, Backup & reset

Reset all iPhone or iPad devices

While this may seem like using a sledgehammer to kill a fly, it’s necessary.

From experience, I can assure you that it’s very difficult to know which device compromised your banking credentials or credit card account. Cleaning up all devices is the only way to eradicate a particularly determined hacker from your life forever.

4. Reset All Passwords

Once your router is locked down, household device activity is controlled, and all of your devices are clean, it’s time to reset all of your account passwords.

You can only do this step after the cleanup. If any keylogger software was running on any of the devices prior to cleaning, the hacker would just recapture the new passwords again.

Make a list of all accounts you use, including accounts that have your credit card or banking information stored.

Some examples might include:

Apple Pay or Google Pay

PayPal

Your Apple ID

All social media accounts

All email accounts (especially ones used for password reset confirmations)

Banking accounts

Credit card accounts

Media accounts like Netflix, YouTube, and Amazon

Once you’ve finished all of your password resets, your entire household should be eradicated of the infection.

Additional Safety and Security Tips

The only way to maintain a household free from the threat of hackers is to follow a strict set of security protocols. Hold your kids responsible for these same rules.

The most important way to protect yourself as a family:

Don’t share passwords within the family

Keep individual accounts like Apple IDs or email accounts

Avoid saving credit card details into gaming accounts your kids use (like the PlayStation network)

If possible, don’t share computers or smart devices between adults and kids in the family

If your kids break these rules, take away their devices to show that you’re serious.

Talk to Your Kids About the Dangers

While these measures may seem dramatic, the effects of malware or Trojan software leading to a stolen identity and money getting taken from your bank account are much more dramatic.

Don’t wait until you become a victim. Talk to your kids about what can happen when they download infected pirated content from peer-to-peer networks, or use hacking tools that can’t be trusted.

Turn your child’s interest in hacking into a productive interest in computers and technology. Encourage their interest in computer security and cryptography, but make sure they understand the inherent dangers of hacking. And make sure they understand the dangers of downloading pirated games, movies, and other content.

Image Credit: marcinmaslowski/Depositphotos

Read the full article: 4 Things to Do Immediately If Your Kids Are Hacking

The post 4 Things to Do Immediately If Your Kids Are Hacking appeared first on Arewa Programmer .

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campfiresandsandcastles · 6 years

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20 Things to Know Before You Vacation in Cartagena, Colombia

We've learned a thing or two about what you should know before you vacation in Cartagena, Colombia, having lived here for over 7 months now, and having visitors from the States. So, in the spirit of transparentness, I thought it would be useful to share what we've learned.

1. Yes, they really only speak Spanish.

Spanish is the official language of Colombia, and yes, that is the language that most people here will engage you in. Given that this area of Colombia, in particular, is so dependent on tourism, you will find some people who can speak English moderately well. But, expect your restaurant and shopping experiences to be in Spanish. Those of us who are not fluent here are highly dependent on Google Translate. We all have the app on our phone and use it multiple times a day. I highly recommend it.

2. You need a passport to travel here.

I hope this goes without saying, but sometimes it's good to be reminded to go dust off your passport and make sure it's not expired or going to expire while you're here. And Visas are not required to travel here from the States.

3. Know the address of where you are going.

This is a must. You will need it for your Customs and Immigration form and you will be asked by those officers for the address if you leave that space blank on your form. You do not need the exact address, just the name of the hotel and it’s general location is fine (e.g., Casa Eva in El Centro). Or, if you are staying with friends, their building name and area of their neighborhood is fine (e.g., Edificio Charlie in Castillogrande). You just have to write and tell them something.

4. It is hot and humid.

If you ask Colombians from other parts of the country what they think of Cartagena, the first thing they will always say is that Cartagena is hot. It is a tropical location and we live near the equator, so expect humidity and heat. This also means you will need hats, sunglasses, and lots of sunscreen. And, if you don't have any of these items when you arrive, there are plenty of vendors who are more than happy to sell them to you (see “you need to learn no gracias” below).

5. Beware of foreign transaction fees.

Before you arrive check with your ATM and credit card to verify that they will not charge you any "foreign transaction fees." Or, if they do, you're prepared to pay them. And, inform them that you will be traveling to Colombia, so they don't put a security hold on your card.

Plus, make sure that your credit card will actually work in Colombia. We have had some visitors whose credit cards were supposed to be international cards, but actually only worked at certain stores. We have a Chase Sapphire Preferred credit card that works great, as does the Marriott credit card (also by Chase). I'm sure there are plenty of others, but I am confident that these cards always work here.

6. Colombian money is in pesos.

The exchange rate from US dollars to Colombian pesos is currently and pretty consistently about $1 USD = $3,000 COP. When you are shopping, the easiest way to roughly convert a price here from COP to USD is drop off the last three zeros of the price and divide by 3 (i.e., essentially divide by 3,000). So, a box of cereal for $21,000 COP is about $7 USD. I always use this quick conversion, or you can certainly download conversion apps on your phone to get a more exact price too.

Also, commas = periods, and periods = commas in Colombia when you are talking about money. So, $21,000 COP is actually written $21.000 COP. So, something that costs twenty-one thousand and four hundred and fifty pesos is written $21.450.

7. You'll probably need some pesos.

Speaking of pesos, you'll need some. Plenty of purchases you make here are small, from a roadside vendor or stand, or a taxi that won't take credit cards, so it is good to have some Colombian cash and coins here. Some places in El Centro (the Old Walled City) will take US dollars, but there is no guarantee that they will give you a good exchange rate, so get some pesos. It’s easy to get cash from ATMs here (at reputable places such as banks, grocery stores, and malls). They also have money exchanges in the airport when you arrive to exchange your country’s currency.

8. Check if your cellular service will work in Colombia.

T-Mobile is international and their basic service works pretty okay here for no additional fee. Downloading websites and checking Facebook or Instagram is difficult, but texting is just fine. You can pay for an International plan from T-Mobile for only $20/month more per phone line while you're here to be sure you have T-Mobile's fastest speed service.

But, all other cellular services from the States, if they work here, charge you fees just to use your basic cellular service here, as far as I know. Some may have the option to turn on a International plan temporarily while you're here.

Also, many places around town have WiFi so you can rely on that at times, but in an emergency it's nice to have cellular service.

The cellular companies here such as Tigo, Movistar, and Claro also have pay-as-you-go plans where you can change out your SIM card while you're here to one of theirs. But, you will have a Colombian phone number.

9. Review your Immunizations.

If coming from the United States, there are currently no vaccinations that are required to enter Colombia. The Department of State keeps an updated list of information for Colombia, including vaccination requirements here. Plus, CDC keeps a list of recommended vaccinations for traveling to Colombia here. Currently, on their recommended list is Hepatitis A and Typhoid. For some travelers (especially if you'll be traveling to jungle regions) they recommend Hepatitis B, Malaria, Rabies, and Yellow Fever.

Based on the CDC's recommendations for Cartagena in particular, we only received vaccinations for Hepatitis A, Typhoid, Hepatitis B, and Yellow Fever. Yellow Fever is difficult to receive in the US, and is not needed if you're traveling to Cartagena, but we got vaccinated because of some of the traveling we plan to do, and because it is often recommended if you are visiting any of the National Park areas here, some of which are nearby.

10. Learn the phrase "no gracias."

If you do not learn any other Spanish while you are here, at least learn the phrase "no gracias." Cartagena is notorious for its street vendors and beach vendors. So, expect that you will be approached multiple times, and sometimes by the same persistent person, when visiting the beach, or El Centro...well, anywhere really.

11. Car seats appear optional here, so bring your own.

Traffic laws in general here are lax. In fact, I have never seen anyone pulled over and given a ticket for their driving, or lack of wearing a seat belt, or for having 8 people jammed into a 4 person vehicle, or driving on the wrong side of the road, as some examples. So, if you have littles and would like them to be in a car seat in the car, then bring it with you.

12. Bring life jackets if you have little kids.

If you plan on partaking in any adventure that requires you to board a boat while here and you have small children, then bring your own life jackets. Professional tour and boat companies will most likely have life jackets for everyone, but if you have very small children, they likely will not have one that will fits them well. And, yes, they need them, for your own peace of mind. My son is 11 years old and uses the smallest life jackets they offer on the boats here, to give you an idea of the smallest size they typically have.

13. ADA compliance is not a thing here.

The sidewalks and streets are not smooth and not conducive to pushing a large stroller or even a wheel chair. And the "handicap ramps," if they even have them, are about two feet long and at a 45 degree angle, so not really useful for their intended purpose unless you want to send Grandma on the ride of her life.

14. A light long-sleeved shirt or thin jacket for restaurants is a good idea.

I mentioned above that it is hot and humid here, but some places, such as restaurants, are not afraid to crank up the A/C. So, I often carry a light wrap with me to dinner. And, if you're arriving during any of our rainier seasons (e.g., July, October), maybe bring a light rain jacket too.

15. There is no need to rent a car.

I honestly do not even know if there are car rental places here or what it would take to actually rent a car. Instead, there are taxis everywhere. Most people who own cars here, including ourselves, take taxis regularly because parking can be a pain.

However, again, traffic laws are loosely followed here, and this especially applies to taxis. So, when you get in one, be prepared for a potentially wild ride with no seat belts. Oh, and have cash to pay them.

16. Download WhatsApp.

WhatsApp is an app that allows you to text and make phone and video calls using your data plan. And EVERYONE uses it here. It is the form of communication. Even businesses, doctors, and dentists will display their WhatsApp numbers. Most businesses here don't have websites and may only have a Facebook or Instagram page.

WhatsApp is truly amazing because even if you have very limited cellular service you will be able to send a text, even with a photo. Plus, it's encrypted. And, most importantly, you can communicate from a US number to a Colombian number with ease. Just add the +57 Colombian country code before the Colombian number, and you are all set. And, as far as I can tell, all communications are free (it is possible that if your cellular plan charges for data use you could be charged).

17. There is always a guy.

Things here work very much by word of mouth and on a personal level. If you need anything at all, someone probably knows a guy who could help or perform the task for you. We have a meat guy, a water guy, a painting guy, a paddleboard guy, a favorite driver, a guy who weaves outdoor furniture, etc.

18. Drink bottled water and be smart with what food you eat.

We only drink bottled water, but the water out of the tap is fine for brushing your teeth, showering, and washing your fruits and vegetables. And the food here is quite good and reliable. Just be smart about what you choose to eat. For example, eating ceviche from a beach vendor whose cart has been out in the sun all day, may not be the best idea.

19. Leave your pooch at home.

Actually, leave your cat, parrot, hamster, or any other pet you might be thinking of bringing at home. Getting them here and home will be the most stressful part of your travels if you decide to bring them. There are many requirements to bring a pet to another country, and Colombia is not exempt. Dogs do not have to be quarantined here, but that is about where the benefits end. Check with the airline and the USDA to see all the requirements for transporting a pet overseas and then expect that at every step of the process you will face problems and have to convince or argue with someone to get your pet on the plane, or even in the country. It's just not worth it for a vacation. And, vacations are supposed to be stress-free, right?

20. Be sure that they are charging you in COP.

Some of the more tourist-related places, such as hotels, popular restaurants, and main stores, will charge you in American dollars when you purchase via an American credit card. That sounds great and awful nice of them, but it will cost you 3.5% to do so. And it is not required for your international credit card because your credit card company will convert it to American dollars for you at no cost to you. So, before a waiter or receptionist charges your credit card, be sure to ask them to charge you in Pesos (COP), not dollars.

21. Get reimbursed for your IVA.

Ok, so I thought of one more point…everyday items you purchase here are taxed at 19%. It will be listed on your receipt as “IVA.” You can be reimbursed for this tax. We have not had a visitor do it yet, but we have been told that at the DIAN desk inside the Cartagena airport, you can show them your receipts, fill out a form, and you will receive the tax back. So, if you have made a large purchase here, perhaps jewelry, it may be worth your time to visit the desk and fill out the form. For 2018, the total value of your purchases must be greater than 331,560 pesos (about $110 USD). Be forewarned that the person at the desk does not speak English, only Spanish. Plus, you need the full detailed receipt (“factura” in Español), not just the receipt they hand you from the credit card machine. For more information, see this handy summary by Medellin Guru.

I hope that this list answers at least some of the main questions you have before vacationing here. Feel free to comment if you have any others and I'll answer the best I can.

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