#it was originally just a show that my parents watched every week that gave me the creeps

[mrwavellswaps]

The Parental Solution - Loose Ends

(Make sure to read The Original Story first!)

I woke up to a sight I never imagined I’d see. My own dad sound asleep next to me in bed. A couple weeks it would’ve seemed insane. Sleeping in bed next to my dad who I could tell was naked just by how close we were under the sheets. Not that I could say anything since I was as well. I listened to him snore ever so slightly as I reflected on how the hell I’d even managed to get in this situation.

My best friend Jason took over my dad’s body using the potion I bought from a magic shop so he could get away from his terrible parents. Immediately after he picked up on my hidden crush for my dad and started teasing me about it all the time. Whispering dirty things in my ear using my dad’s raspy voice. Wear almost nothing around the house to show off his body to me whenever he could. And with everyday it got harder and harder to hide my growing lust for him. Finally he managed to tip me over the edge last night by sticking a hand into the bulge of his underwear before shoving that very same hand in my face moments later once it smelled deeply of my dad’s balls. After that I lost it and was sucking him off in the middle of the living room while he watched sports on TV as I finally gave in and started calling him Dad rather than Jason, even referring to him by my dad’s name Bryce from time to time. Then later in the evening, after he’d made me swallow his load and clean off his cock and balls, he made me service the rest of his body as well. That is until he’d recharged and decided to scoop me up before carrying me to his bedroom with a smug look on that stolen mature face of his.

Remembering what happened after that only made my ass throb more than it already did. My ‘Dad’ practically ripped open my clothes and tossed me onto the bed before drilling his dick into me in lord knows how many different positions for what felt like hours. All the while telling me how he was plowing me with the same dick that made me. I know I should’ve hated it but… I didn’t. I loved it. I loved every fucking second. And even as I looked over at him in bed with me, his morning wood pressing against the bed sheets, part of me wanted him to do it all again right then and there. Unfortunately I didn’t think my ass could handle another pounding just yet.

With a sigh I got up out of bed as quietly as possible to not wake my dad up. I tugged on some of my clothes from yesterday and made my way downstairs where I brewed myself a hot cup of coffee. I put some bread in the toaster and waited a couple minutes for it to pop out again before spreading some butter on it and digging in. Having some nice toast in the morning was certainly one way to try and distract myself from my painfully pulsing anus.

My attention however was then turned from my breakfast to a knocking at the door. It was a brisk but loud knock, as if made by someone that didn’t particularly want to be doing it. Regardless I set down made toast, wiped off my hands and marched towards the front door. I groggily opened up and of all the people I thought might’ve been knocking at our door, the man that I saw stood on the other side was the last person I could’ve imagined.

He was a middle aged albeit very handsome man. About average height with a sturdy body that’d definitely seen some time in the gym. He adorned a well trimmed salt and pepper haircut with a short beard that accentuated his somewhat thick mustache. But he wasn’t just any hot older daddy. He was Jason’s fucking dad!“Mr Simmons?”

“Ah. Aaron…” I could tell by the sour look on his face that he wasn’t exactly pleased to see me. “Is your father home? I’d like to speak to him.” He asked in a forcefully polite tone.

I had to stop myself from blushing at the mention of my own dad as my mind couldn’t help flashing back to last night. “Uhh yeah but he’s still in bed right now. Long day at work yesterday and what not…” I lied.

Mr Simmons sighed. “In that case I’ll ask you. It’s about my son. Jason.” He began and already I was trying even harder not to blush at the mention of my best friend turned father. “He’s been missing for over two weeks now and we haven’t found a single trace of him anywhere. It’s driving his mother and I mad. We’d begun to think the stupid boy had just ran off on his own until just the other day I was told someone saw him going into your house the night he disappeared. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you? Boy.” His tone turned threatening very fast.

“N-no. I have no idea where Jason is. All we did was hang out and then I thought he went home. I’ve got no idea where he is.” I expressed, clearly intimidated by the scouting man in front of me. Obviously it was another lie but what else could I say? Oh yeah sorry Mr Simmons but your son took over my dad’s body because you’re such an asshole and a terrible father? Yeah no. Unfortunately the older man didn’t seem pleased with my answer.

“Yeah? Well I think you know more about this than you’re telling me. I know you were the one always filling Jason’s head with all the queer bullshit. Trying to turn him into a faggot like you unlike the Christian man his mother and I have been raising him to be.” And there it was. One huge part of the reason Jason had hated his parents so much. On top of all the abuse and manipulation, they were also homophobic bible thumpers. I still remember Jason telling me how they’d always drag him to church while telling him he’d go to hell if he wasn’t straight and christian like they were. Apparently I was the only person he’d felt comfortable coming out to after all that. “You probably convinced him to run away with a bunch of those disgusting fairies didn’t you.” He continued to accuse, his fists balling up slightly.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel extremely intimidated at that moment. “I already told you. I don’t know where Jason is! He didn’t tell me anything alright! If I did, I promise I would tell you.” Once again bending the truth quite significantly but it was all I could do. Thankfully he seemed to buy it for now.

“Fine.” He relaxed his shoulders slightly, no longer looking as though he was gonna beat the shit out of me. “But if I find out you had anything to do with this…” his scowl was more evident than ever as he poked his finger against my chest. “I’ll make sure your faggot ass gets sent to hell sooner than you think.” And with an angry snuff he backed away before turning to leave, prompting me to let out a huge sigh of relief. Thankful to still be in one piece.

Seconds later I heard a pair of heavy footsteps behind me followed by a familiar set of thick arms wrapping around me. “Who was that?” Bryce, my new and improved dad, asked as he kissed my neck.

“It was your asshole father.”

Bryce immediately looked up to see the man marching away from our house. His former father. Before he took over this body of course. “Jesus… sorry you had to deal with him.” He apologised to me. “Though, this might be weird of me to say but, Mr Simmons is pretty hot now I think about it.” He admitted, knowing I couldn’t exactly judge him for it all things considered. “He’s got a pretty nice ass don't ya think?” As he said that I could already feel his hard cock pressing up against my back.

Naturally I couldn’t help checking out the ass of that bible thumper, still being just close enough for me to get a good view of how well those jeans framed it. “I guess so… I mean he’d probably be super fucking hot if he wasn’t such homophobic piece of shit among other things.” As I’d already admitted to myself, the man was a total daddy stud just like my own dad.

“If only a body like that belonged to someone who actually deserved it…” He murmured in my ear with a grin.

Right away I knew exactly what he was implying. But could I do that?! I mean his dad has quite the reputation around here. Being revered by some of the more radical church goers in the community as the perfect example of what a man should be while being hated by most others for being a complete dickhead. Even a lot of other Christian’s around here didn’t like him for how much he screamed about how the rest of us are gonna go to hell or whatever. Especially when it comes to the LGBTQ community. It was honestly disgusting the way he acted most of the time, even towards his own son. Yet I couldn’t help but agree that because of all that… maybe he didn’t deserve such a hot body.

———

There was a jingle as the door to a familiar magic shop opened up. “So this is where you got that crazy potion from before huh?” Bryce asked as he walked inside first, myself following close behind him. He looked around marvelling at the well decorated shop as his eyes scanned across all sorts of items that would seemingly have some kind of magical property I hidden within them.

“Yup. This is the place. I thought it was all fake when I first came here.” I replied as we made our way towards the front desk. However, the man standing at the desk wasn’t the same guy who’d served me last time. He wore the same strange uniform as the other guy had but it was a slightly older looking man this time. I couldn’t put my finger on it but he had a very ‘high school teacher’ vibe about him with the silver flecked hair and the glasses.

He smiled and ushered us over. “Welcome sirs! What can I help you with!” He asked enthusiastically. “We’ve got all sorts of magical items on sale here. Some are even sample-able!”

At first I assumed this was just another dude that helped run the shop. That is until I saw his name tag. “Simon? The guy who helped me out last time I was here was named Gil. He mentioned you were his boyfriend. When I was here he took a potion that made him huge and hairy to prove the magic was real.” I laughed

“Oh so you’re the customer he did that for eh? If I remember correctly he told me you bought nectar of the bodysnacher. How was it? Get the body you wanted?” He asked curiously.

I shrugged and turned to my dad who was standing behind and motioned towards him. “I dunno you’re gonna have to ask him. He’s the one who used it.” I explained. “He’s actually my best friend Jason. Same age as me. But we used the nectar so he could take over my dad’s body. And if you ask me he’s a better dad than my old one ever was!” I smirked, having fully embraced having a horny dad that wanted to fuck me.

“Woah! Now that’s something.” Simon commented. “Good choice though if I may add.” His eyes ran up and down Bryce’s body. The muscled dad had decided to wear some of his tightest clothes to show off every inch of his form, leaving very little to the imagination when it came to the curves of his muscles and the bulge in his crotch area.

“So what about Gil?” I wondered. “Did that potion finally wear off?”

Simon chuckled a little. “Well… uhhh no actually. It should’ve worn off by now but I’m gonna be honest, I was obsessed with what that muscle bear potion did to him. He’s so thick now that hardly any of his clothes fit and the few that do are skin tight. He’s got that massive jiggling belly and such thick arms and legs. God don’t even get me started on his huge ass. And all that body hair just drives me crazy!” He went on a bit of tangent about every minor detail of Gil’s new bear bod. “Long story short, I might’ve begged him to some more temporary muscle bear potions to extend the effects of it.” He admitted with a slightly embarrassed look. “I was thinking of even asking him to take a permanent one that doesn’t have a time limit hahah…”

“God that sounds hot…” Bryce chirped in, his own stolen cock pressing tightly against his pants as he pictured everything this man was saying.

“Anyway. Sorry. That was slightly unprofessional of me to share all that.” Simon stood up a little straighter and attempted to hide his own boner. “Oh! And speak of the devil!” He added, looking past me and Bryce.

The pair of us turn to see a huge bear of a man appearing from behind one of the aisle. I recognised him right away as the same man that sold me that potion last time I was here. Gilgamesh! And just like Simon had said, that potion certainly hadn’t worn off. He was even now wearing the same clothes as last time except a much bigger size to accommodate his bigger body. He recognised me right away and came up to say hello.

“Hey what’s up! Is this your friend that you told me about?” Gil asked as his eyes scanned Bryce’s body just like Simon’s had.

“Yup! But now I’ve gotta call him Dad.” I went on to explain everything to Gil. Telling him all about how Bryce and I had snuck into my Dad’s room while he was asleep after getting Bryce to drink the nectar and putting a pair of my dad’s used socks. We even ended up telling him about how our relationship had progressed to… new depths since then.

“Well I’m glad to hear everything worked out for the two of you!” Gil said as he went in for a big bear hug. “Sorry. Side effect of the muscle bear potion. Makes me wanna bear hug everyone.” He apologised with a guffaw though I certainly didn’t mind being squeezed against his big belly. “Anyway, as much as I love seeing the aftermath of one of my sales, I get the feeling you’re here for something else.”

Bryce and I shared a glance. “Well you see. There’s a man that lives on our street. Total asshole. Harasses those who don’t go to church. Threatens innocent people that do things he doesn’t agree with. And treated his own son like dirt.” Bryce began using my dad’s gruff voice, knowing he used to be that son before everything changed for the better. “But the thing… despite all that he’s still hot as fuck.”

I took over from there. “So the two of us have decided that someone as horrible as him doesn’t deserve to have such an incredible body and that someone else should be given it instead. So we were hoping you might still have some of that bodysnachers nectar around here?” I wiggled my eyebrows a little at the man who’s name was displayed on the shop sign.

Gil smirked. “Ahhh I see. Well in that case we better go take a look.” He enthusiastically slung a big hairy arm over my shoulder before leading Bryce and I over to the very same aisle he’d taken me to last time. I could see out of the corner of my eye how Bryce was stopping here and there to read the labels and descriptions of certain items. My attention however was swiftly brought back to Gil as the burly man stopped in front of some rather empty looking shelves. “Ahhh yes. A large group of old men came here the other day and bought a bunch of bodysnatcher’s nectar in bulk. They were planning something about sneaking into a college frat house and taking over all the young jocks there I think. They wouldn’t stop talking about wanting to be young dumb and full of… well you get the idea.” He explained nonchalantly. Just the idea of that had me hard as fuck. “But if you’re lucky… there might just be…” Gil stuck his arm down the shelf and reached right towards the back until his meaty hand finally grabbed something. “One left at the back!” He he pulled out one last bodysnatcher’s nectar with a big cheesy grin before handing me the vial.

“Thanks so much Gil! I’ll promise I’ll put those to good use. You can count on that!” I reassured him. “How much do I owe ya again?” I reached into my pocket for some money but as I did the bigger man stopped me.

“It’s on the house this time.” He generously offered. “All I ask in return is that you come back again once you’ve taken your new body so my boyfriend and I can judge for ourselves just how hot this asshole really is.” Gil gave me a reassuring pat on the back. “Besides, judging by how interested your ‘Dad’ is in those spell books, I suspect the two of you’ll be bringing us some more business soon enough.” He gestured over towards Bryce who had his nose deep in one of said spell books.

———

“Do you remember where the spare key is?” I whispered, now stood outside Jason’s old house where both of his religious parents of course still lived. Bryce didn’t say a word. He simply reached up and into the hanging flower basket above my head before pulling out a key. “I’ll take that as a yes.” We discreetly unlocked the front door, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible as we slipped inside.

With how many times Jason had been to my house over the years, I’d never actually been to his. I gotta say though, it’s exactly what I’d imagined. Dull, muted colours. Mundane decorations and furniture. Crosses hung up on half the walls in the house. There was even a huge bible quote on one of the living room walls as if it were a live laugh love sign. And the awkward, blank faced family photos only made it weirder.

“Now you can see why I hated living here.” Bryce stated bluntly. He almost always acted like my dad to an extent but right now he couldn’t help remembering his old life before becoming a dilf and it wasn’t pleasant. “Let’s just get on with this. My parents' room is upstairs.” He hurried us along, ascending the steep staircase.

Before long he led us to a rather large and tidy bedroom. Freshly cleaned sheets, sparkling mirrors, not a single item of clothing lying around. If I had to give Jason’s parents something, they were definitely clean and organised. Not that it was much everything else considered. I didn’t let the cleanliness distract me from the reason we were here though. “So. Where’s your dad’s stuff?”

“Over here.” Bryce took us over to the left side of the bed. There he swiftly yanked open a few of the bedside drawers until he eventually pulled one open filled with men’s socks and underwear. “This is his. Grab something quick. It won’t be long before he’s back from work.”

I reached into the draw and quickly pulled out a pair of white socks with black stripes on them. “And you’re sure your mom isn’t gonna be with him or anything?”

He shook his head. “Nope. She works late on Monday’s. She shouldn’t be back till the late evening. We’ll have hours to do this before she even leaves work.” Bryce explained. “My dad on the other hand should be here any second so you’d better drink that magic stuff now.”

I didn’t argue. Right away I reached into my pocket and pulled out the vial. Nectar of the bodysnatcher. The very same stuff that’d given Bryce the more mature body he flaunted now. I twisted off the lid and without a second thought downed the entire thing. Right away I could feel something strange. It was the magic settling inside my body and waiting to be activated. Once that was done I kicked off my own shoes and socks before tugging on the clean socks belonging to none other than Nolan Simmons.

“Did you feel it?” Bryce asked.

“Feel what?”

“The spark. When you pulled the socks on?”

I had no idea what he was talking about. “Spark? What spark?”

He looked just as confused as me. “A couple weeks back when I pulled on your dad’s socks before taking his body, I felt a weird spark the moment I pulled them on. You’re saying you didn’t-” Bryce cut himself off as suddenly we heard the front door swing open and a familiar voice from downstairs muttering about how his stupid wife hadn’t locked the door before leaving this morning. Well if we needed any more proof that he was an asshole, there it was.

“Shit, shit. Quick! Hide!” I whispered in a panicked voice. We did exactly as we’d planned. Bryce quickly hid behind the bedroom door while I hid in the closet. I feel like there might’ve been some irony there but I was far more distracted by the sound of Mr Simmons’s angry footsteps ascending the stairs. As he did I could only hope everything went according to plan otherwise Bryce and I would probably end up in a jail cell.

Quickly the footsteps reached the top of the stairs before trudging down the hallway and towards the bedroom. Bryce readied himself. Another moment or two passed by and my heart practically skipped a beat when I saw the same man that’d been threatening me this morning enter the room through the cracks in the closet door. He seemed as though he was heading in my direction and immediately I began to think of what a man like that would do if he found me hiding in here. Luckily however, before he could reach the closet, Bryce came out from behind the door before quickly sneaking up on the man and grabbing him from behind without warning! Restraining the man he once called his father as best he could.

“W-WHAT THE!? GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!” Mr Simmons shouted in a blaze of shock and panic. “LET GO OF ME YOU-GRAHH!” His protest was interrupted as James forced his former father to the ground. Nolan Simmons might’ve been strong but my dad was pretty strong in his own right. Strong enough to overpower Nolan in a surprise situation like this. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!? WHO ARE YOU?!” He continued to scream and shout, not being able to get a proper look at the man that was holding him down.

“Stop struggling asshole. Just give in and soon you’ll feel soooo much better.” Bryce cooed into the protesting man’s ear.

Nolan's eyes went wide. He recognised that voice. The voice of a man he once had a close friendship with that was eventually ripped apart. All because their sons began hanging out and ‘encouraging each other to be queer’ as Nolan put it. “Hold on…Bryce??”

“You’re half right.” I cut the struggling man off as I stepped out from my hiding spot. “You know when you came to my house this morning asking about Jason? Well. I lied. I know exactly where your son is.” I took a few steps closer until I was stood looking down at the very same man that’d seemed so intimidating to me not so long ago. “He’s right there, holding you down.” I said bluntly, causing Mr Simmon’s face to twist in confusion. “I’ve gotta say he makes a much more loving father than you and my former dad combined.” I taunted.

The bible thumper could hardly believe or even understand what he was hearing so instead he resorted to throwing a slurry of homophobic slurs at the two of us. All the while trying in vain to kick his way out of Bryce’s grip. Usually hearing those kinds of hurtful words would’ve pissed both of us off but right now, knowing what was to come for this man, we couldn’t help but pity him. Even if he didn’t deserve it.

“Lift him up a little for me would you dad?. I’ve gotta kiss him to activate the magic, remember?” I asked.

Bryce smirked, adjusting his position a little before carefully maneuvering himself and the other man until Nolan was on his knees with his arms restrained and his ankles pinned. Unable to move. “How’s that?”

“Perfect.” I said while getting a better look at the body before me. That handsome face that seemed so masculine yet somewhat adorable at the same time. Those pecs pressing tightly against his shirt. That noticeable bulge in his work pants. And so sooo much more. And Nolan didn’t deserve a single bit of it. But I did. Then much to the man’s disgust, I stripped off all my clothes in a blink of an eye leaving only the pair of stolen socks on my feet. Standing proud with a victorious look on my face as I let my average dick swing free infront a homophobe.

Part of me wanted to bask in the moment a little more but I was far too eager to get this underway. And so I quickly got down onto my knees and before Nolan could do anything to stop me, I pressed my lips hard against his. He tried to recoil but he couldn’t go far. I had him… or at least I thought I did. I kissed him for a good 10 seconds or so and nothing happened to the point where I eventually found myself pulling away.

“W-what?” I muttered, not understanding why it hadn’t worked. At the same time Nolan took the opportunity to spit at me and shout even more slurs. Even angrier than before as he called us before disgusting perverts. I asked Bryce and he didn’t seem to have any idea either… that is until I remembered what he’d said earlier just after I’d pulled on the socks. “Wait… no spark.” I mumbled. That’s when it hit me. Step 2 of getting the nectar to work was wearing a recently worn article of clothing. These socks were washed and put away unlike the dirty pair of socks Bryce used when he took over my Dad.

“What is it Aaron?! Why didn’t it work?” Bryce asked, starting to get a little worried as they didn’t really have a backup plan.

“I think I know.” I pulled off the fresh socks I’d stolen before walking around and behind to two men. “Just keep him still. I’m gonna try something.” I crouched down and shuffled between Bryce’s legs a little until I had easy access to Nolan’s large brown loafers. Against his wishes I slipped his shoes off and put them to one side, finding it hard to ignore the strong scent that came with them. Unleashing those large socked feet. “If these don’t work then nothing will.” I stated before gripping the sweaty black socks and pulling them off Nolan’s feet one at a time. And I knew I probably shouldn’t since I criticised Bryce for doing it before but I couldn’t help giving the pungent socks a quick sniff. With that I made my way back around in front of them.

“What!? You wanna huff on my socks now you disgusting cock sucker!?!” Nolan yelled.

I took the large pair of socks and began tugging them on. “Oh I want a whole lot more than that.” Just then, as I pulled the second sock on, I felt it. The spark. Coursing through my body. My confidence that’d been wavering momentarily then rushed back in full stride. “I want to touch, smell and see your body wherever I go. I want to turn your homophobic ass into homo this side of the earth. I want… you.” There was an almost crazed look in my eyes that even spooked Bryce a little as I grabbed the sides of Nolan’s head. “And now. You’re going to be all mine.” And with that I slammed my lips against his with even more passion than before. Feeling his thick mustache forced to rub against my upper lips while he groaned in protest through the kiss, unable to stop me.

His groans of protest would quickly turn to grunts of fears as the magic began to activate. It seemed all I needed was a more recently worn pair of socks as now our lips were stuck together and impossible to part. Seeing that the process had begun, Bryce let go of his father and the first thing the panicking man tried to do was pull away from me. But to no avail. Because of this Nolan began freaking out! Forcing both of us up to our feet before stumbling around the room. For a second Bryce looked as though he was about to step in again until I used all my strength to push Nolan onto the bed causing him to fall back onto the soft sheets with my naked body on top of him. And before he had another chance to move I wrapped my arms and legs around him tight.

Nolan made every effort to break free but I’d latched on tight and wasn’t about to let go. Before he could fight against me any further though, the most delightful sensation imaginable passed over my entire being causing me to let out an involuntary moan into the kiss. And to my surprise Nolan made a similar groan. His eyes had begun to roll back slightly as I could only imagine a similar sensation had overtaken him. If anything he must’ve been in even more ecstasy than I was judging by how his thick rod had begun to harden in his pants, causing his bulge to rub up against me. But through all the grunts and groans I could tell he still wanted to fight but the pleasure that ran through him was draining any strength he might’ve had to fight back against me. Before long Nolan's body couldn’t help but give in to me and before long, the next phase was underway.

It’d been one thing seeing Jason disappear inside my dad’s body but actually feeling my own body and limbs begin to get sucked inside Nolan’s large muscular frame was something else entirely! My hands were one of the first things to go, phasing through his shirt and into his back as I still had my arms wrapped around him. My legs then began naturally aligning themselves with Nolan’s bulky ones before slowly sinking in. The feeling was beyond anything I’d ever imagined. Even as my torso began to lower itself into the older man’s frame, there wasn’t even an ounce of pain. Nothing but pure bliss as my entire form went completely numb! I rubbed my crotch against his as much as I possibly could before that too phased through the man’s pants and was pulled down into his body.

Soon enough my arms, legs, ass and cock had all disappeared, pulled inside Nolan’s body much to his distain. Honestly I was surprised he hadn’t gone delirious from the raw amount of satisfaction the magic seemed to bring. Yet somehow he regained some semblance of awareness only to be horrified seeing my torso sinking into his. He practically screamed into the kiss as our eyes were forced to meet. His eyes were darting all over frantically, trying to move his body but feeling too weak to do anything. It was too late anyway as I could feel my face drawing nearer to his as even that was being pulled down at last along with the rest of my head. Before long my vision completely blanked out…

After that Nolan regained full control of his body to an extent. “N-NO! Get out of meeee! Gahhhh!…” he yelled and grunted, feeling my presence inside of his body. But despite his best efforts he couldn’t fight against me nor could he stop his cock from getting unbearably hard. He practically begged Bryce to help him but the idle man did nothing but watch in satisfaction, finally getting to see his horrible father get exactly what he deserved. “Y-you’re demons! Both of you! Unholy demons!!” He claimed while writhing around on the bed, struggling to control himself. He tried to get up from the bed but his cock pulsed even harder, threatening to burst out of his pants at any moment. His balls swelling up fatter than ever before as they prepared to unload every ounce of his free will. “Nooooo… I can’t… I-Urrghhh…” He grabbed at his crotch uncontrollably, mouth hanging open with the overflow of stimulation being forced through it until finally… “FUUUUCKKKKK GRAHHHHHhhhhhhhuuuhh…” What started as a massive roar of protest slowly faded as Nolan blew the fattest load of his life. A massive dark spot forming over his bulge as he flooded his pants with cum.

The second Nolan spilled his ball batter, I found myself being hurled into the driver’s seat. Right away I was hit with the tail end of the orgasm and couldn’t help grinning. Feeling my new fat cock buck as it squirted a few final ropes of dad nut into my already sticky pants. “Ohh yeahhhhh…” I let out a huge sigh of relief knowing that I’d won. Even as the cum soaked into my new work pants, I could feel Nolan soul being absorbed by my own. Feeling every memory and personality trait of his slowly became accessible to me as I became the one and only Nolan Simmons.

“How do you feel Nolan?” Bryce moved closer towards the bed, knowing now that the man he’d once hated was gone for good. Replaced by someone far superior. Me.

I grumbled a little, holding my head before slowly sitting up. I glanced down at myself, seeing the thick muscle I now adorned still hidden underneath Nolan’s clothes. I even had on the same black socks that I’d stolen from him again. Back on the feet they were meant for. I flexed my arms a little, feeling my biceps strain against my shirt before bringing my hands to my chest so I could feel juicy pecs that sat upon it. God feeling this kind of bulk on another man was one thing but feeling it on myself was a whole other level of euphoric. Feeling the power that now flowed through my bigger and stronger body with every movement I made. “I feel fucking fantastic Bryce.” I replied while running a hand over my wet bulge.

Slowly I pushed myself up off the bed, my new larger feet touching the ground for the first time. I wobbled a little at first, not used to my new weight, but I quickly adjusted. Bryce simply stood back and allowed me to explore myself for a moment. Watching on as I made my way towards the circular mirror sat on the dresser. And what I saw made me feel a whole flurry of emotions. Staring back at me was the same handsome face that’d been screaming obscenities at us not moments prior. The piercing eyes belonging to the homophobe that made Jason’s life a living hell for so many years. The salt and pepper hair along with this beard and mustache that were trademarks of a man that embodied all the worst parts of the christian community. But I was none of those things. I might’ve stolen his dashing looks and gorgeous body but I was a proud gay man and an ally to all others in the LGBTQ community. Something the old Nolan would’ve despised being. But what he wanted didn’t matter because I was Nolan now and I plan on putting a hot ass body like this to far better use.

Not being able to resist the temptation, I pulled off my new shirt before tossing it at Bryce so I could finally get a better look at what I was working with and I certainly wasn’t disappointed. Though he kept in very good shape, the old Nolan wasn’t one to show off his physique all that often so I’d never had the luxury of seeing him shirtless before. But if anything that only made this moment sweeter as I freed my new pecs from their prison and began groping them to my hearts content. Adoring how squishy they were but so firm when I flexed them. Admiring the dusting of chest hair that spread across them. I was only able to pull my hands away from my chest when the desire to flex my biceps again grew too strong to ignore.

Once I was satisfied with the admiration I’d given to my broad upper body (for now), my gaze couldn’t help shifting towards my lower half. A toothy grin spread across my face that seemed extremely out of character for this face as I unhooked my belt and undid pants. I could feel Bryce's eyes watching intently and I yanked down both my pants and cum soaked underwear at the same time, allowing my still half hard cock to spring out. And what a cock it was. It’s length was about average sitting at around 6 inches but god the girth! It was one of the thickest chicks I’d ever seen from the base all the way up to its fat mushroom head which was still drooling cum. And it was mine along with the heavy set of balls that came with it. No wonder Nolan always acted like a hard ass with a pair of bull nuts this big to inflate his ego.

I went on to admire my legs a little after getting over the initial shock that came with my new still twitching dick. Running my hands along my sizeable quads before giving my bulky calves a squeeze. But by far what stole the show was my hot muscle dad ass. We’d already gotten a good idea of how big it was by how its shape was still visible even through some of Nolan’s baggiest pants. But now we got the full show. Nolan’s thick cheeks on full display. And naturally it didn’t take long for me to start squeezing and jiggling them to your delight. Though, considering how the rest of my body had a decent coating of hair, I was surprised to feel how smooth my new ass was.

“You havin fun over there…” Bryce commented, prompting me to turn my attention to him for a moment. When I did I noticed he’d at some point whipped out his own dick as was slowly jerking it to the display I’d been putting on. I guess deep down we were both hot for daddy. Our own daddies at that.

“I’ll be having even more fun when I get this tight virgin hole of mine stretched.” I paced over towards Bryce, giving him a truly affectionate look that he doubt he’d ever seen on his fathers face before. “So how’s about you get in the bed and get your cock ready for me.” I commanded, allowing Nolan’s somewhat dominant nature to seep through.

I didn't need to ask him twice. In a flash Bryce was completely naked, showing off his hairy body once again, before practicing leaping onto the bed with his hands behind his head and his cock standing tall and ready. Now this was a sight. Two best friends stealing the body of each other’s dad only to wanna fuck one another immediately after. In Nolan’s case I suppose it was somewhat poetic justice for everything that he did and said. But it didn’t really matter because the only Nolan left around here was me.

With a lustful smirk I sauntered my way towards the bed before crawling on top of Bryce. Allowing my brand new dad ass to hover gently above his cock as we stared into each other’s eyes. Completely lost in the fantasy of it all until I lent down and pushed my lips against his. It was probably the first time these lips had ever kissed another man willingly but it certainly wouldn’t be the last as I felt our beards gently rubbing together while our kiss deepened. As it did I slowly lowered my ass until Bryce’s throbbing cock was massaging my entrance.

It was then that I broke the kiss and pinned Bryce down with my newfound strength. “Now. I’d say it’s about time we use that big dad dick of yours son to fill your old man’s needy hole.” I sneered down at him, letting him know exactly how I felt all those times he used my dad’s voice to call me son. And by the way his dick began lathering my ass with precum moments later, I could only assume he enjoyed it. However I didn’t let him waste too much of his precious seed before reaching back and grabbing his cock, aligning it perfectly with my hole. “Now gimme that dick!” I roared before lowering myself onto the rod with a deep and guttural moan.

Right away I got to work. Bouncing up and down on that dick as best I could while holding Bryce down. It was intense to say the least. With an asshole this tight I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t quite painful at first but I was willing to push through it if it meant being able to take cock even better with this formerly straight christian ass in the future. At times I moaned my own dad’s name, Bryce, while at other times moaning his original name, Jason, in an attempt to fulfil both our fantasies at once. But as I was slowly able to force more and more of his dick inside me, I eventually stopped calling him Jason all together and decided just to stick to Bryce. Because that’s who he was now. My boyfriend Bryce. Another dad that lives across the street from me. Nolan. A former homophobe turned gay power bottom. Aaron and Jason were simply the names of our two sons who ran off together and memories of them would soon fade into obscurity.

At multiple points I could tell Bryce was eager to flip up over and do the fucking himself but I refused to let him. I might’ve been the one getting fucked here but I was still the one in charge. Whether he liked it or not he was gonna stay put and be my personal fuck pole until I was nice and full. And between all the kissing, touching and dirty talking, I could tell that time was starting to grow near. His balls prepared themselves for the tsunami that was bound to come at this rate.

Feeling this only served to drive me further onwards. Making sure to grind my thick dad butt all the way down to the base. Honestly I didn’t think I’d be able to do it on this body’s first time taking dick but lo and behold I pulled it off. It was painful but boy, just the feeling of filling this new ass of mine completely with cock released an almost incomparable amount of dopamine in my brain. The only thoughts running through my mind were ‘dick’ and ‘cum’ as the levels of joy I was feeling almost matched the pleasure I got from hearing Bryce’s moans echoing through the household. Moans that only continued to get louder and needier until finally I got exactly what I wanted.

The man below me tensed up as his cock began to spasm inside me. I didn’t need three guesses to know what that meant. Especially when I felt his thick hot seed coating my insides while I drained Bryce’s balls to the last drop. Watching as he writhed in pleasure beneath me while unloading buckets worth of cum inside. Seeing his hands grip the bed sheets as his former father pressed his ass down on it a couple more times. Continuing to bounce on his cock until he begged me to stop due to how sensitive it was. Eventually, when I felt as though his cock had nothing left to give me, I adhered to his pleas and released his cock from my asshole’s tight grip.

“Better get used to that babe. From now on I plan on making you drain at least one load into me everyday. This new ass of mine is hungry.” I grinned deviously at him before kissing along his neck, feeling my new mustache rub against his skin. “Your dad was wasting it for so long so I’m gonna make up for all the years he neglected this beautiful ass.” My face moved closer to the hairy pit under his arm. “Mmmm now it’s time for papa to get a good taste of that!” I stated before shoving my nose deep into one of his sweaty armpits and inhaling the gorgeous post sex scent they exuded. I couldn’t help but notice how they smelt subtly different now that I was sniffing them with a different nose. Regardless, they still smelt just delicious. So much so that before long I was running my tongue along his pits greedily to lap up the sweat.

“Do you think… we should head back… to my place before… your wife gets home.” Bryce said between labored breaths.

“I suppose so.” I agreed. “Let me just finish cleaning off your pits. Then we can grab some of my clothes and get out of here.” I added before lapping up more of that delicious salty sweat his hairy pits produced.

———

It’d been roughly three weeks since that day. After we left Nolan's house that day, we hardly ever went back. We took everything of Nolan’s that I might need and brought them back to our place where we stayed after that. Of course my new Wife was furious when I said I was leaving her for Bryce but there wasn’t shit she could do about it. I even told her all about the furious gay sex we had and how he satisfied me more than she ever could by filling me up with cum. It might sound harsh but she wasn’t much better of a parent than the old Nolan so it was karma really. After that she was quick to file for a divorce which I was happy to sign upon being given the papers.

Now Bryce and I live happily together. We both worked pretty much the same jobs our dad’s did before which wasn’t all that hard with their memories. We even went to the gym together which was incredibly fun. However the best part was always getting home and taking off our sweaty clothes so we could swap 'em and sniff each other’s damp, pungent gym clothes. While I usually went for the pouch on his underwear first, my ass sweat must’ve smelt particularly good to him as he always went for the back of my underwear first.

This was then almost always followed up by some hot steamy dad sex. I would always make him bust a load in my hole first but if the prostate stimulation wasn’t enough to make me blow my own nut then we’d flip and I’d fuck his ass relentlessly until he was just as full of cum as I was. Regardless it would seem the power dynamic there had certainly shifted in my favour which I wasn’t gonna complain about.

Besides that however we were already living happier lives than we ever had before. The only bad thing about it all was all the questions people would ask and the odd looks thrown our way for this sudden change in our behaviour. Because of this I suggested to Bryce about looking for a new place to start our lives fresh elsewhere. Somewhere that we wouldn’t already be known by the community. Somewhere we can just be Bryce and Nolan, the hot horny couple of dad’s in the neighborhood. Bryce seemed to like that idea so now we’re looking online for places to move to.

The only hiccup in that plan was that we didn’t want to move too far from Gil’s magic shop. We went back after I became Nolan and Gil himself seemed very impressed with the new form I’d taken. After explaining our moving situation however, he told us not to worry about it. Apparently there were a bunch more Gil’s magic shops all around the world. According to him all of them are connected and every single one has a door portal that brings them to the same place. So regardless of where we move we’ll likely still be able to visit. As confusing as that was, I kinda understood.

With that though, Bryce and I were just excited to begin this new chapter together. And perhaps even spice things up from time to time by purchasing a few more items from Gil’s shop. Regardless I was sure that from this point on, our lives were going to be perfect…

If you love my stories then please consider supporting me on Patreon as well!! ❤️

#magic #permanent #male body theft #identity theft #age progression #absorption #hairy #dad #straight to gay #mental change #revenge #sweaty men #smelly

[sugarandspisces-writes]

Damage Control

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x reader

Summary: You get into an argument with your parents and it brings up some tough emotions. Melissa helps you work through those feelings and thinks of a unique way to help you cope.

Word Count: 8k

A/N - Hi! I want to start off by saying that this fic is purely self-indulgent. I wanted to write something for those that don’t have the support of their loved ones in regard to their sexuality. If you’re currently going through this situation, I hope you can find a piece of comfort in this fic. My main goal with this one is to make you feel less alone. I hope you all enjoy <3

TW - Contains themes of homophobia and depicts interactions with unaccepting parents

It was a Saturday evening, and you found yourself at Melissa’s house. Over the past couple months, it became a ritual for you to spend the weekends with her. You found this was the only time you could enjoy her company due to the demands of the week. Things had been rough for her at school, but she was finally getting used to teaching two grades. She had more free time now, and you jumped at the opportunity to spend it with her.

You were currently sitting on the couch in the comfort of her arms. She was lying with her back against the arm of the couch, and you were sitting in her lap in the same position. Your back was against her front, and her arms were wrapped around your waist. Your head was settled on the left side of her chest, and you could hear the faint sound of her heartbeat.

It was a gloomy day and you didn’t plan on doing much. You originally wanted to spend the day out and about, but due to the weather, you changed your mind. You mutually decided that you would much rather have a lazy day in. You finished eating dinner not too long ago and you were now watching TV.

You recommended Melissa to start Killing Eve a while ago, but she never got around to it. You were glad about that because now you were able to watch it together. You were only on the first season, which you’d seen multiple times, so your attention was being pulled in another direction.

You turned slightly in her arms so that you were facing her. Her hair was up and her face was rid of makeup, so every feature was on display. She was absolutely stunning and you wished you could see her like this more. Your eyes roved over her face until they landed on the slope of her neck. You leaned in and placed a few kisses at the junction of her neck and shoulder. You watched her cheeks become pink from your actions. Her lips twitched as she tried to fight a smile and you couldn’t help but let your lips curve into a grin at the sight. You realized you were staring and tried to look away before she noticed, but you knew you’d been caught when she spoke.

“The TV is over there, you know.” She nodded her head in the direction of the entertainment.

“I know that, Melissa,” you laughed. “I just enjoy looking at you more.”

“Someone’s being very charming today,” she said before turning her head towards you.

You locked eyes momentarily and the twinkle in her green orbs was almost too much for you to handle. You couldn’t think when she looked at you like that. You shied away from her gaze before letting out a chuckle. 

“Do you like the show so far?” You asked after gathering your thoughts. 

“Yeah, it’s good. I thought there would be a little more action though.”

“Oh, trust me, it’s coming. I think the next episode is the one where Villanelle shows up at Eve’s house.” You said while reaching for your phone that was resting on the coffee table.

You heard Melissa groan and you realized that your movement shifted her out of her comfy spot. You gave her an apologetic look before turning your phone on. As you looked through your notifications, you saw that you had a missed call from your dad. The two of you usually called each other every weekend, mainly in the mornings. He didn’t call you this morning, so you thought he’d get to it tomorrow. It was strange for him to call you at this time, but you just assumed he missed you extra and didn’t want the call to wait.

“You can call him back if you need to,” Melissa said, knowing how much you looked forward to catching up with him.

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna,” you sat up and swung your legs over the edge of the couch. “It must be important if he’s calling this late.”

“Go ahead. I need to get up and stretch anyways.” She patted the side of your leg, signaling you to stand.

“Be right back,” you said before leaning over to kiss her lips.

✦ ✦ ✦

You made your way into the kitchen and sat at the table in a seat near the entryway. You pressed the missed call notification and held the phone up to your ear. You listened to three sequences of ringing before someone picked up.

“Hello?”

You brought your phone down and looked at the screen in confusion. It wasn’t uncommon for her to answer your dad’s calls if he wasn’t in immediate reach of his phone. It still caught you off guard.

“Hey, mom. I was just calling Dad back.” You said in hopes that she would pass him the phone as quickly as possible.

You loved your mother, but you didn’t have the energy to deal with her right now. You were in a good mood, and you knew she was bound to change that if you continued to speak with her.

“Now, don’t sound too eager to talk to me,” she said. 

You knew she was being sarcastic, but she did have a point. Even though you weren’t in the mood, you were still curious about her well-being. 

“How are you?” You asked.

“I’m just trying to enjoy the day, but the weather has been acting crazy.”

Are we seriously talking about the weather right now? You thought to yourself.

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded to yourself. “I was gonna go out today, but those plans got squashed.”

“Oh, honey, I’m glad you realized you need to get out more,” she said. “All you do is go to work, then go home. You need to have a little fun here and there.”

While her comment sounded like she meant well, you knew there was an air of judgment in what she was trying to say.

“I know, mom. You tell me all the time.” You let out a sigh.

“Yeah, well, every time I call you’re always at home.”

“You just happen to call me when I’m at home.” You rolled your eyes.

“You just happen to be at home every time I call you? I find that hard to belie–”

“Mom, where’s Dad?” You asked, trying not to sound too fed up.

“He’s upstairs. He’ll be down soon,” she said. “Why are you in such a hurry?” 

You could almost hear the cogs turning in her head as she thought of the reasons why you wanted to get off the phone with her. You pulled your phone away to see that you’d only been on the phone with her for a little over a minute. Why did it feel like the two of you had been talking for ages? You could feel yourself getting a headache already.

“You can change the subject all you want, but I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt you to get out more.” She said in a tone that you couldn’t quite place, but you knew that it rubbed you the wrong way.

Before you could speak, you heard her say, “Here’s your father.”

You had never been so thankful to talk to your dad in your life.

“Hey, kiddo.” Your dad said. “What’s up?”

“Hey, I was just calling you back. Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. Why?”

“I dunno.” You shrugged even though he couldn’t see. “You usually call me earlier in the day.”

“Is it a crime for me to be spontaneous?” He asked. “Haven’t you heard the phrase, “Expect the unexpected?”

You could hear the smile in his voice and you couldn’t help but chuckle at him.

“It is a crime, considering you’re the most calculated man I know.”

Your parents were very type A, and they always followed some sort of schedule. They liked things to be a certain way, and they were always organized. Despite what it seemed like, they knew how to have fun – especially your dad. However, there were times when they could be stuck in their ways, and that’s why you often butt heads.

“Okay, maybe that’s true.” He laughed. “I just missed you, is all.”

“I miss you too.” You smiled to yourself.

Your heart warmed at his words. Your conversations were so much different than the ones between you and your mom. 

“What are you up to?” Your dad asked, bringing the conversation back to you.

“Nothing much. I was watching TV when you called.”

You could hear your mom in the background making a remark about you not getting out of the house. For some reason, she couldn’t let it go today. 

“Dad, can you put me on speaker?”

“Okay, you’re on speaker.” He confirmed.

You laughed at him before addressing your mom. “Mom, you know I can hear you in the back, right?”

“All I’m trying to say is that the men aren’t gonna meet themselves.” She said bluntly.

You let out a dry laugh. Of course, that’s what this is about. She’d wanted to say it all along, but she liked to bet around the bush for some reason.

“Mom, men aren’t the key to life. I’m fully capable of doing everything a man could do for me by myself.”

She laughed, and you could almost see the shake of her head that came with the action. “Of course, you would say that.” 

“Honey.” You could hear your dad say to your mom in a warning tone.

“No, it’s okay.” Clearly, there was a deeper meaning to her words. “What’s that supposed to mean, Mom?”

It was silent on the other end of the line as you waited for an answer. 

“I think your mother is just trying to say–”

“Dad, I wanna hear it from her. What’s that supposed to mean, Mom?” You repeated. 

You could feel yourself becoming more defensive as the seconds went on.

“I’m not surprised you would say something like that. With you being the way you… are and whatnot.” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the words.

“The way I am? Wh–What are you trying to say?” You asked, but you knew exactly what she was alluding to.

You weren’t solely attracted to men, and that dissatisfied your mother more than anything. You knew it bothered your dad too; the only difference was that he wasn’t so brash about it. You had hope that he might come to terms with it in the future. Your mother, on the other hand, was a different story.

✦ ✦ ✦

Melissa was sitting on the couch as she waited for you to finish your conversation. For the past ten minutes, she had busied herself with looking at the pictures hanging on her walls. She couldn’t remember the last time she really looked at them. She had been so busy at work trying to keep up with two classes that she didn’t notice how long it had been since she took a proper pause. This was the first time in about three weeks that she was able to keep her head above the water.

It was also the first weekend that she had been able to fully enjoy in a while. When she realized she would have some free time, her first thought was that she wanted to spend it with you. It was very unlike her to want to spend her spare time with anyone, but there was something special about you. You made her feel at peace, and she craved having you around at all times. 

She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard your voice coming from the kitchen. The sound was muffled from where she was standing, so she couldn’t make out what you were saying. Nonetheless, you sounded like you were in distress. She debated whether or not to go check on you. She knew you were capable of handling your own problems, but she still wanted to make sure that you were okay. She reasoned with herself and made her way over to the entrance of her kitchen.

She didn’t walk in yet out of fear that she might be interrupting something. Your relationship was still kind of new, and she didn’t want to seem like she was butting into your business. From outside the doorway, she could hear another woman’s voice. She assumed this was your mom.

She heard the tail end of the conversation, and she was a little stunned, to say the least. She knew about your weekly catch-ups with your dad, and she had been there to overhear some of them. To her, your parents didn’t seem like the type of people to participate in an argument with you. In her opinion, that was more her family’s style. However, she knew that it was presumptuous of her to assume such a thing without much context. She continued to listen to the conversation, curious to hear what would be said next.

✦ ✦ ✦

“You know what I’m saying, Y/N!” Your mother said, raising her voice. 

You knew you’d struck a nerve. She wasn’t at her yelling point, but she was getting close. If she wanted to play that game though, you would play. If there was one thing the two of you were good at, it was yelling at each other.

“I like women, Mom! So what?” You raised your voice back.

“So what?” She said in disbelief, as if she couldn’t fathom what you were saying. “It’s wrong, Y/N. That’s what!”

“Says who? You?” You yelled at her. You didn’t mean to, but you couldn’t help it. You weren’t gonna sit there and listen to her talk about right and wrong as if she was a saint.

“Do not raise your voice at me.” Your mom said sternly.

You knew you were in the wrong at the moment, but you weren’t going to apologize. She was still your mom, but if she wasn’t going to respect you, you weren’t going to respect her.

“A little support would be nice every now and then, you know.” You said.

“I support you plenty. Or do you not remember me and your father loaning you money a couple of weeks ago?” She pointed out. “Did that slip your mind somehow?” She said in a condescending tone.

“That’s not what I mean!” You said in frustration. 

Your mother thought that monetary support was equal to emotional support. In her mind, if you had all of your needs met, emotions didn’t have to be part of the picture.

“You did it to yourself, Y/N. If you didn’t make the choice–”

At those words, you lost it.

“It’s not a choice, Mom! I didn’t choose anything! It’s just who I am!” You shouted through the phone. Tears began to prick your eyes. You tried to blink them away, but they fell anyway.

You stood from your seat and walked around the table. You could feel yourself getting angry, and you didn’t know how that would end, so you tried to calm down before your emotions got out of hand. 

“That’s not who you are!” She yelled back. “I didn’t raise you to be like that. Your father–”

“No, Mom, it's not who you are!” You interrupted her. You reigned your tears in and gained control of your voice. You wanted her to hear your next statements loud and clear.  “Not everything is about you! And Dad can speak for himself.”

Since you came out to your parents, your mom had a hard time separating her identity from yours. She couldn’t bear the fact that you weren’t straight. To her, you were flawed, and she felt like she had done something wrong raising you. What she failed to see was that your identity had nothing to do with her. It was only about you.

“I’m not talking about this with you anymore,” she said.

You saw that one coming. Once you began talking about her image, she shut down. When it came to slander, she could dish it, but she couldn’t take it.

“Fine.” You said, and that was the end of that.

You plopped down in the chair and took a few deep breaths before speaking again.

“Dad,” you said, “are you still on the phone?”

Your dad had been silent the whole time. Not because he didn’t care, but because he knew better than to get in the middle of your and your mom's spats. He meant well, but sometimes you wish he would give his input. Confrontation wasn’t his strong suit though, so you knew it might be a while before you ever heard his side of things.

“Yeah, I’m here, kiddo.” He sounded dejected. “I’m sorry.”

He hadn’t meant for the phone call to go south.

“You don’t have to apologize for her.”

“Yeah, but I know she’ll probably never say it,” he said, sounding defeated for you.

“Yeah, you’re probably right about that.”

You talked with him for a few minutes longer before saying goodnight and ending the call. This was not the direction you expected the night to go in, but like your dad said, you should learn to expect the unexpected.

✦ ✦ ✦

Moments later, you found yourself still sitting at the kitchen table. Your mother’s words rang in your head as you tried to process everything. As you continued to think about the things she said, you felt your frustration resurface. The feeling had only intensified since then, and you began to feel red-hot anger creeping its way up your chest. It settled at the base of your neck and as a result, you felt suffocated. You couldn’t help but let out a scream at the sensation.

“Fuck!” You shouted before slamming your phone down onto the wooden surface of the table.

The sound must have startled Melissa because she appeared before you.

“You okay?” Melissa asked as she kneeled in front of you. She had a frown on her face as she tried to decipher the expression on yours.

You were embarrassed at your sudden outburst and the fact that she’d heard the conversation with your parents. You were also feeling a little helpless because your emotions were manifesting themselves and you had virtually no idea how to handle them. 

You opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out was a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. You could feel Melissa running her hand along your back and that brought you down enough to muster out a reply.

“Yeah,” you said in a flat tone. You meant to be more convincing, but it didn’t quite work.

“You know, you can tell me if you’re not okay.” She said, continuing to rub your back.

You cleared your throat and shook your head as if you were trying to reset your brain to 30 minutes ago: when you were peacefully lying in your girlfriend’s arms and not having thoughts of taking your mother’s neck in your hands and–

“Hon,” Melissa said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Hmm,” you hummed before looking at her again. 

You soon came to realize that was a big mistake. Suddenly everything was too much. Too real. How close she was to you, the look in her eyes, the hand on your back. You needed her to move, but you couldn’t vocalize that. 

“What can I do?” She asked.

“Um, I don’t, I–,” You stumbled over your words.

You reached around to your back so you could grab her hand. She mistook the gesture as you seeking more comfort. She clasped her hand around yours and that gave you the push you needed to speak up.

“I don’t know, but you need to move.” You snatched your hand away as if her touch burned you.

She looked a little shocked, but she moved away as fast as her body allowed her to. Once she was gone, you realized how harsh you’d sounded and you instantly felt bad. She was just trying to help, and here you were snapping at her.

“I’m sorry. I just– I’m really hot and I can’t–” You stood up and started to frantically fan yourself.

Melissa continued to look at you. She was trying to figure out what her next move would be. She’d never seen you like this, and she wanted to handle this situation correctly. As soon as she realized that staring at you wasn’t going to help, she jumped into action.

“That’s okay. How about we start by taking this off.” She stepped closer to you before realizing she should probably warn you. She wanted to avoid your previous reaction at all costs. “I’m just gonna come closer, but I’m not gonna touch you.”

You couldn’t even focus on what she was saying because you were about two seconds away from freaking out again. You could only make out every other word, but it was enough for you to piece her sentences together. You nodded your head to show that it was okay for her to come closer.

Why the fuck am I so hot? You thought to yourself.

“I just wanna get your jacket off.” She said.

Jacket? What jacket?

As you watched her reach toward you, you looked down to see that you were wearing the hoodie Melissa let you borrow earlier. You were so scatterbrained that you didn’t realize you still had it on.

She grasped the zipper on the garment before pulling it down, causing the sleeves to fall off your shoulders. Once the item was off, you felt so much better and your thoughts started to become more clear. You sat back down and let out a sigh of relief as you leaned forward, resting your palms on your knees. You looked down at the ground in an attempt to focus your attention on something other than the anger and shame you were feeling.

“That feel any better?” Melissa inquired.

You thought about her question for a second. You felt better because you weren’t burning up anymore. However, you could still feel the remnants of ire in the pit of your chest. 

“A little, but I feel like,” you paused. “Like I,” you trailed off before giving up.

Melissa reached out to gently grasp your jaw. She tilted your face upward so you could look at her. Her palm felt cool against your warm skin. 

“Like what?” She looked at you intently.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged before removing your face from her hold.

It wasn’t a secret that you experienced emotions deeply. You felt more than the average person, and you were very in tune with other people. You were the definition of an empath, and it was a gift as well as a curse. You cared for others, but the weight of harboring their emotions in addition to your own was too much to handle at times.

You were also prone to burying your feelings. That’s where your difficulties with communication stemmed from. When you were hurting you kept it to yourself, and that made it harder for you to navigate situations like this. When you had a chance to express your feelings, you weren’t always sure how to convey them to others.

Melissa pulled up a chair and set it directly in front of you. To be honest, you were taken aback by the action. You fully expected her to leave you alone until you could figure out an answer to her question. As you looked at her, you saw through all the concern and found there was determination in her eyes. She wanted to figure out what was going on inside your head, and she wasn’t going to give up until she got an explanation.

“Can you tell me what you’re feeling physically?” She reached out to grab your hand, finding it hard not to show her affection. “Just one thing.”

“Um, kinda like I might… explode.” You looked toward her in hopes of receiving some form of validation, and without fail she gave it to you.

“Okay.” She nodded her head and began to stroke the back of your hand with her thumb. “Anything else?”

“My heart is beating really fast and I feel tense. Like, all over.” You took your free hand and motioned it in a circle around you.

“That doesn’t sound like a nice feeling,” she spoke softly. 

To you, her tone seemed uncharacteristically gentle. It was unlike anything you’d ever heard from the redhead.

“What do you usually do when you feel like this?” Her eyes never strayed from yours.

“Nothing really.” You looked at her sheepishly. “I usually just push it away or try to focus on something else.”

The lost look in your eyes pulled at Melissa’s heartstrings. She could see the trouble you were having processing your emotions, and all she wanted to do was help you. She had an idea, but she wasn’t sure how you’d receive it. However, she knew it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

“Are you willing to try somethin’ for me, hon?” She bit her lip as she anticipated your response.

“Sure.” You were willing to try just about anything if it would make you feel better.

“Okay, give me just a sec.” She held up her index finger, then proceeded to walk out of the kitchen.

Melissa soon returned with something interesting in her hands: a baseball bat. You looked at her with curiosity as she came to stand before you.

“Come on.” She nodded her head toward the back door. “Let’s go outside for a minute.”

You followed her into the yard, where she walked you to a secluded corner. As she moved a few items around to create some space, you noticed her backyard was very homey. There was a couch decorated with pillows and blankets and it was placed near a fire pit. There was also a garden located on the opposite end.

Above you, there were string lights that were activated by the two of you stepping outside. They lit up the yard with a warm glow and you began to find comfort in the cozy atmosphere. She had a fence built well above your height that surrounded the area, and it made you feel completely safe.

When she was finished rearranging, Melissa came to stand across from you. “When I get upset, I take this and use it to do as much damage as I can.” She presented the bat to you.

You tried not to think too much into her statement, but you couldn’t help raising your eyebrows.

“I promise everything I’ve done was legal,” she said after seeing your reaction. “Well, mostly.”

“Melissa!” Your eyes widened at the thought of her committing crimes with the object.

“I’m kidding, hon,” she assuaged your fears. “I don’t have anything for you to hit, but I think the ground will do just fine.” She tapped with her foot, illustrating its firm nature.

You still felt unsure of what to do.

“You don’t have to try it if you don’t want to,” she assured you. She didn’t want to talk you into doing anything that made you feel uncomfortable. “We can always figure something else out, but I think this might help you release some of those emotions.”

If she thought it would help, what was the harm in testing out her theory? 

“Okay, I’ll try.”

You reached your hands out to accept the bat from her. She handed it over, then stepped closer to the house to give you some space. You stood there for a second, those feelings of uncertainty coming back to you. You felt out of your element as you twisted the bat around.

You took a couple breaths before holding it up by the handle. Your arms lifted above you before swiftly coming down to slam the head of the bat against the ground.

Sightly alarmed by the loud crack that echoed around the space, you looked toward Melissa and let out a gasp. She was standing against the fence with arms folded across her chest.

“How’d that feel?” She looked at you expectantly.

“Good.” You nodded. “I wonder what your neighbors are gonna think.”

“Don’t worry about that.” She began to walk toward you. “If they have a problem I’ll handle it.”

You must have still looked suspicious because she spoke again.

“You just focus on letting those feelings go.” She squeezed your shoulder affectionately before taking a seat on the couch. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”

You stood there for a moment gathering your thoughts. The only thing Melissa cared about was making you feel better. She could care less about anyone else at the moment. With that in mind, you felt completely safe to express yourself however you needed to. She just wanted to be there to make sure you were safe. Your heart warmed at the thought, and your anger nearly dissipated.

Now all you could focus on was how much she cared about you and your emotional well-being. She looked after you so intently. No one had ever taken the time to truly listen to you and help you combat your insufferable burdens. That thought settled deep within you causing a twinge to flutter through your chest. The ache was so profound you felt it in every fiber of your being.

You closed your eyes and took another deep breath before smashing the bat into the grass for the second time. You repeated the action until you began to lose count of how many times you’d struck the ground.

All you could think about were the feelings your mom had brought up and the pain associated with them. When you couldn’t think about that anymore, you thought about every time you wanted to express an emotion, but couldn’t. When you’d exhausted that thought, you just focused on how free you felt at the moment. With each hit, you could feel yourself letting go of the pain you’d held onto for so long.

Then, something broke within you. You slammed the ground one last time, your body sagging forward from the force. You felt your chest heave as a guttural sound escaped your throat, and you let out a final breath in its wake. 

The metallic bat dropped to the ground with a clang and you used every last bit of your strength to stand up straight. You filled your lungs with air and on the exhale, you felt a sob bubble in your throat. Your hands flew to your mouth to muffle the sound, but it was too late. You had already released an echoing wail into the open. Surrendering every part of the anguish, you let the sobs wrack your body. It was getting harder to breathe, but you didn’t care, really.

“Y/N.” She was gentle as not to startle you.

Upon opening your eyes, you were met with a worried look. She was maintaining her distance just in case you were feeling overwhelmed, but by the look in her eyes, you could see that she just wanted to comfort you. You pulled her closer and once the gap was closed, she brought her hands up to wipe your eyes. She gently held your face in her palms as you continued to weep. 

“You didn’t mention that I would cry my eyes out,” you joked. It was an attempt to lighten the mood, but your delivery was pathetic. You were all choked up, trying your best to talk through broken sobs. “A warning would have been nice.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Melissa said in a hushed tone. It almost sounded like she was fighting back her own tears. But you knew she hadn’t gone that soft on you— yet. 

You were pulled into a hug, her arms wrapping firmly around your torso. You hugged back, arms hanging loosely around her neck, then brought your head down to rest on her shoulder. She pulled you closer before placing a kiss on your forehead. The action was so delicate that it caused a surge of fresh tears to fill your eyes.

Melissa could feel your chest quavering with each breath you took, so she gave you some encouragement. “Let it out, hon.” 

You shook your head and released a whimper instead. You’d cried enough and there was no need to do it all over her. However, you should have known that wasn’t going to satisfy her. Your pain didn’t serve you any purpose, and she refused to let it weigh you down.

“Come on, love.” She murmured into your ear, voice so velvety you couldn’t help but give in. “There you go,” she praised as your cries got heavier.

You collapsed into her arms and let your body go slack against hers. She staggered backward, not expecting you to fall into her like that, but regained her footing and held you steady. 

“I’m here, okay? I’ve got you.”

For a moment, all you could focus on was her. She rubbed large circles across your back and you nestled closer into the curve of her neck. Her scent invaded your senses; something spicy, sweet, and clothed in warmth. You could feel yourself calming down with each breath you took.

“That’s it. Just breathe.” She instructed.

She began to sway your body from side to side. The motion was so soothing that you felt your eyelids getting heavy. If she kept it up, you were sure you’d fall asleep. You willed yourself to stay awake so you could relish in the safety she was providing.

“You doing okay?” She asked after she was sure your sobs had ceased.

“Mhmm,” you hummed.

It wasn’t the best response, but Melissa took your even breaths and lack of tears as a sign that you had settled down.

She began to unwrap her arms from around you, but you weren’t ready. You held on tighter, which was physically impossible considering you were already as close as you could get.

She held you a little longer before deciding to ask for permission this time. “Is it okay if I let go?”

She hadn’t given you any indication that she was leaving, but a piece of you was afraid that you might not find that level of comfort again.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, sensing your hesitation. “I just wanna get you back inside.”

You obliged and she maintained her proximity by holding you by the waist. The gesture was tender and affectionate, and she kept her word leaving no room for doubts in your mind.

✦ ✦ ✦

“You gonna be okay by yourself for a second?” Melissa asked as you sat in the living room.

“I’ll be okay,” you rasped.

“Okay, sit tight,” Melissa said before venturing off.

You were grateful for her tenderness, and it was the first time you were seeing this side of her. Of course, she was always gentle with you, but something was different tonight. She was being so patient and loving—it made your heart feel so full.

She returned with a glass of water and took a seat next to you. You gladly accepted the beverage and found yourself nearly downing it in one gulp. The cool liquid felt nice on your sore throat. You set the cup down on the coffee table and let out a deep sigh. A familiar sting pricked your eyes, but you refused to do any more of that right now.

You could see Melissa watching you out of the corner of your eye. She was trying to be discreet, but even if you couldn’t see her, you’d be able to feel the intensity of her stare. You weren’t sure what she was trying to communicate to you, so you redirected your gaze.

She smiled at you, her lips gently curling, as she brought a hand over to rest on your thigh. You placed your hand over hers and began to play with her fingers. She had a singular ring on the middle one and you twisted it around to distract yourself.

She pulled you out of your head by locking your fingers together. You looked back up at her and she opened her mouth to speak before closing it again. Her eyebrows were knit together and she had a pensive look on her face. She looked like she was going through a mental tug-of-war.

You watched as she dropped your hand and changed her position so she was leaning against the arm rest. She waved her hand, motioning for you to come join her. You took your place in her arms and laid on top of her, tucking your head under her chin and settling in. You took a hand and rested it on her stomach, feeling it move up and down with each breath she took.

You closed your eyes as she placed a kiss to the crown of your head. She repeated the action before moving her lips lower and doing the same near your hairline. She slipped her hand underneath the fabric of your shirt and began to lightly trace her nails against your back. That had to be one of your favorite sensations, and you could feel yourself melting deeper into her touch. She was almost lulling you into a trance.

“Your mom seemed pretty upset earlier, hm?” She asked, switching the pattern she was making on your back.

Melissa knew what she was doing. She wanted to get you as relaxed as possible so that you could talk about the events that led to this moment. She knew it would be hard for you to get worked up if she was holding you close, giving you kisses, and rubbing your back. It was the gentlest form of persuasion.

“Yeah.” Your voice cracked as your thoughts wandered back to the conversation. You cleared your throat before continuing, “I guess you could say so.”

Not missing the hitch in your voice, she encouraged you to take a deep breath. Once she was pleased with your effort, she formulated her next response.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She didn’t want to upset you again.

“No, it’s okay.” You assured her. “I just don’t understand.”

Melissa waited for you to elaborate, but when you didn’t, she prompted you. “You don’t understand what, babe?” She asked, moving back a couple of inches so she could look at you properly.

“I’ve spent the majority of my life–” A lump made its way up your throat. You swallowed it down, determined not to let your emotions get the better of you. “I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to be perfect for her. I’ve done absolutely everything I could to please her.”

Melissa nodded her head in understanding as you peered up at her.

“I made good grades in school and I did all the extracurriculars. I went to college, navigated everything the way she advised me to. I sacrificed so much of my happiness to make sure she was content. It worked for a long time, you know? She was happy.” 

“And because of that you were happy,” Melissa stated.

She knew how you were. People pleasing was part of your character. It was hard for you to grasp the idea that you wouldn’t be able to satisfy everyone. No matter what, there would always be someone who didn’t agree with you.

You nodded, taking a breath before continuing, “That all changed when I came out to her though. I mean, I knew what her reaction would be, but I wanted to take some of my power back from her. I had quite literally burnt myself out trying to do right by her.” You took a beat before saying, “I just felt like I wasn’t my own person anymore and that kind of scared me.”

Melissa moved a hand up to your cheek, as she continued to look at you. Her thumb smoothed across the side of your face and your eyes fell closed at the feeling. You hadn’t even noticed the lone tear escaping your eye until she swiped it away.

“So, I told her.” You laughed wryly. “I wasn’t even sure what my labels were at the time. I’m honestly still not, but I just knew that I wasn’t straight. I just felt so compelled to let her know that she didn’t have a say in every aspect of my life.”

“I’m proud of you for making that decision. That must have been really hard.” Melissa empathized with you.

Her sage eyes were glassy as she listened to you tell your story. Hearing about your relationship with your mother allowed her to gain a deeper understanding of your habits. She’d wondered why you were such a perfectionist, why you cared so much about what people thought of you, why it was hard for you to say no sometimes.

“Oh, it was a nightmare.” You looked off to the side as you recounted the day. “I told her right before I went off to college. I told my dad too. She didn’t speak to me for months. I think that’s part of the reason why me and my dad got so close.”

“How did your dad take it?” Melissa asked.

“Better than her. He wasn’t jumping for joy, but he was respectful of me. He understands that it’s not up to him to pick my life partner.” You looked back at her before saying, “That’s all I asked of them. To respect me. He just happened to be the one who could comply with my wishes.”

“There’s always that one person,” Melissa sighs. She didn’t know your mom personally, so she wouldn’t bash her. Not to your face at least. Instead, she opted to give you a piece of wisdom. “You can’t please everyone, hon.”

“I know.” You sighed, matching her tone. “It just doesn’t make sense to me. My dad can do it, so why can’t she?”

You looked at Melissa with sorrowful eyes. You could feel your resolve starting to crumble and that ache in your chest returned. “Why can’t she just love me how I am?”

You were directing the question at her but unfortunately, she didn’t have an explanation. She tried to compose an answer, but her words wouldn’t come. The way you looked at her made her brain lapse. She tried to think of something quickly because she couldn’t take the site of that sullen look. However, she didn’t have anything to say, and that was rare. Her lack of words generated a response from you, and it wasn’t one she was expecting.

“No matter how hard I try, nothing I do will ever be enough for her.” Your lips crumpled as the words left your mouth. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

“Oh, honey. Come here.” She closed the small space between you by pulling you into her chest. 

You cried, but it was mild in comparison to your previous round of tears. “I just don’t get it.”

“I don’t get it either,” she said, resuming her gentle back scratches, “but let me tell you something.” She pulled your chin up so you were level with her eyes. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

“There must be. Why else would she–”

“You are passionate, hardworking, and so damn smart. You always make me smile, and you are a joy to be around.” Melissa said with conviction.

“You are perfect just the way you are. Do you hear me? When you began to shy away from her words, she pulled your attention back to her. “I’m not sure what your mother sees when she looks at you, but I see a wonderful person who is kind and caring. You have a beautiful personality and a heart that is too pure for this world.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes, hon. Why would I say that if I didn’t mean it?”

You could only shrug at her question.  

“No, don’t give me that. Talk to me,” she urged.

You could tell she genuinely wanted to hear your thoughts because she had that determined look on her face again. How could you possibly say no to that?

“I know you mean it. It’s not that.”

“What is it, then?”

“I don’t get to feel validated very often,” you disclosed. “So it’s just nice to hear those words.”

“I meant every single thing.” She punctuated her words with a nod.

“I know, Lissa. Thank you.” You smiled at her. “For everything you’ve done for me tonight.”

You leaned forward to wrap her in a hug one last time. You hoped you could convey every ounce of thanks into the embrace. She’d done more for you in a few hours than you could have ever asked.

“You’re welcome. But you don’t need to thank me. It’s what I’m here for.” She hugged you back with just as much enthusiasm, if not more. “I’ll always be here to listen to you and validate you anytime you need it.”

You pulled back from the hug just enough to see her face, and you leaned in to kiss her lips. It was delicate and sweet, but full of passion. You tangled your hand into auburn locks so you could keep her near as you exchanged a few more pecks. She pulled away and pressed a final kiss to your temple.

You ended the day the same way you started it: wrapped up on the couch enjoying each other’s presence. In that moment, you realized you’d found something special with her. In the midst of chaos, she had the ability to bring you back to center. She put things into perspective, and helped you see the bigger picture.

Sure, you wanted your mom to come around, but you couldn’t make her. That was something she would have to do on her own timing—you couldn’t force it upon her. Whether or not she would come to accept you was a mystery. However, what you did know was that Melissa would always be in your corner and that was more than enough for you.

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #abbott elementary #sugarᥫ᭡writes

[mamaestapa]

A Day Full of Surprises

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/N Y/L/N moved to Cincinnati, Ohio for a new start. Move in day arrives and she discovers something terrible...the apartment complex gave her the wrong lease. Instead of living with who she originally was supposed to, she's now living with the hottest quarterback in the NFL, Joe Burrow. Y/N is stuck living in the same apartment with him for a year...which the two are not thrilled about. However, as time goes on, they realize that maybe this wasn't the worst thing that could happen to them. Will Y/N and Joe stay enemies, or will they find themselves falling in love?

•chapter summary: It’s just a few weeks away from the start of a new NFL season and you and Joe have a day full of surprises that will change your lives forever

•word count: 4.7k

•warnings: lots of fluff, some angst, crying, mentions of pregnancy. i feel you’re either going to be happy with how i’m ending the series or you’re going to be disappointed

series masterlist

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August 10, 2023

Joe woke up to my alarm beeping and you groaning beside him. His tired eyes fluttered open as he reached for his phone and hit the stop button for his alarm. He sighed as he rubbed his hands down his face. Joe did not feel like going to practice today at all.

The two of you had just gotten back a couple days ago from your second off-season trip to Arizona. Your first trip out there was in May when the two of you stayed in Phoenix with your parents. During your trip, Joe got to meet more of your family and even your college friends, who are just as sweet as you. You showed him all of your favorite places in Arizona while you were there too. Joe swears he’s never seen you that genuinely happy before. You had told him that you miss Phoenix sometimes, but everyday you fall in love with the city of Cincinnati a little bit more.

As Joe pulled the covers off of his body, you wrapped your arms around him and entwined your legs with his, holding onto Joe like a koala. "I don't want you to go." you huffed, nuzzling your face into his neck. Joe chuckled and draped an arm around your body, "I don't want to go either," he planted a soft kiss to the top of your head, "but you know I have to."

You craned your neck up, a frown on your face as you looked at Joe, "but I just want to hold you." He pulled you close to his body, "I know sweets," Joe said, frowning, "but you can't." Joe gave you one last kiss to the top of your head before he let go of you. Although his hold on you loosened, your hold on him didn't. Joe let out a sigh.

"Y/n." No response. "Y/n sweetheart," he rubbed your arm that was wrapped tightly around his torso, "you gotta let me go."

You just sighed and nuzzled yourself closer to Joe's bare chest. He let out a sigh of defeat as he just laid in bed and let his girlfriend cuddle him for a few more minutes. You held on to Joe as if he was going to disappear if you let go of him. Now, Joe enjoys cuddling with you, especially in the morning. But he also knows you enjoy your space too, especially in the morning. So this clingy, koala type hold you had on Joe, as much as he enjoys it, is a little strange. Joe figured he wouldn't think too much of it. After all, the two of you have spent almost every day together during the offseason. It's going to be difficult to be away from you and Bean while Joe's at practice.

"Baby, as much as I'd love to hold you all day," Joe spoke gently, kissing your head once again before he continued, "I have to go. If I don't go you know Zac will be on my ass."

You sighed loudly and pulled yourself off of Joe, giving him your signature sad look. Joe frowned and grabbed your right hand, kissing it gently before he got out of bed. You watched with sad eyes as he walked out of his bedroom and out into the living room to get Bean. As Joe walked out into the living room, your golden doodle Bean greeted him with a wag of her little tail as her high pitched puppy bark rang out through the apartment.

"Morning Beanie girl." Joe greeted, chuckling as he grabbed her pink leash off the counter and took her out of her gated area in the living room. Joe latched her leash and took her outside. Bean quickly did her business and he brought her back into the apartment, rewarding her with a treat and her breakfast. As he put the dish down on the ground for the puppy, Joe heard sniffles coming from his bedroom. He furrowed his eyebrows together and cautiously walked into his room, fearing the worst. His heart broke at the sight in front of him. You were holding your head in your hands as your shoulders shook. Joe frowned and immediately rushed over to your side. He figured you must have been clingy because something was bothering you. Joe sat down on the bed and wrapped his muscular arms around your body, pulling you close to him. Your cries turned into gut wrenching sobs as soon as Joe pulled you close to him. "Hey, hey," he cooed, cradling your head to his chest as he held you, "you're okay."

You tightened your grasp on Joe as you continued to sob. Joe didn't even know how to react. He wanted to know what made you suddenly burst into tears, but he knew he needed to comfort you first. After a few more minutes of you sobbing and Joe whispering sweet nothings, your sobs soon calmed enough to the point where you could talk. Joe stroked your tear streaked cheeks with his thumb as you worked on calming your breathing. He placed a gentle kiss to your temple as you sniffled.

"I-I'm sorry," you said, your voice laced with sadness, "I don't even know why I'm crying. And I got tears and snot all over you. I'm so gross." you choked out another sob as you finished speaking. "Oh honey," he kissed your head, "you're not gross, it's okay. I promise." Joe said softly as he reassured you. You lifted your head from his chest and sniffled. Joe pulled his arms away from you and frowned as he watched you wipe the tears away from your eyes. It broke his heart to see you so upset. Joe placed a hand on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as you composed yourself.

"Are you OK?" he asked softly, stroking the soft skin of your thigh with his thumb. You nodded, "Y-yeah. I'm just sad." Joe cocked his head to the side, "About what sweetheart?" You wiped your nose with a tissue from his bedside table, "You going to practice."

Joe couldn't help the slight widening of his eyes as he heard you say that. You got that worked up over him going to practice?! He was so worried it was something much worse than that.

"Are you sure that's it?" Joe asked, looking at you and expecting you to say more. You nodded, letting out a sad laugh, "It's pathetic, I know." you sighed, "I just, I've felt so weird these last couple days. I'm so emotional and I don't know why."

Joe frowned as he continued to lovingly stroke your thigh with his thumb. You sighed once again and continued speaking, "I'm stressed out because of the whole re-signing the lease situation, and Bean, I love her to pieces but she's so much work at this stage. On top of that, the seasons starting again and we're so busy at the boutique. I'm just so overwhelmed." Joe pulled you into a tight hug, embracing you as long as you needed. He knew you were under a lot of stress right now, but he didn't realize it was that much.

"I just wish I could hold you all day Joe. That's all I want to do right now." you mumbled against his chest. "Me too beautiful," Joe said softly, "me too." You pulled away and smiled softly at him, "but I know you can't."

"I'll make it up to you this weekend."

"You promise?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. Joe nodded, "I Promise." He leaned in and gently kissed those soft lips of the girl he loved so much. It broke his heart to see you so upset. You pulled away and hummed softly, "I love you." "I love you too." Joe replied, smiling warmly at you. He squeezed your thigh and stood from the bed, "Try to enjoy your day okay? I'll be home before you know it."

You just nodded and gave Joe a small smile as you looked up at him.

"When I get home, I promise I'll cuddle with my girls all night." Joe's smile grew as he saw your small smile turn into a happy grin. It warmed his heart seeing that beautiful smile of yours once again. Joe's more of a cat guy, but he sure does love his Beanie girl. Especially since she makes you so happy. And if you're happy, Joe's happy too.

~Small time skip~

You let out a sad sigh as you heard the apartment door close. Joe was gone and he wouldn't be back until later this afternoon. You don't know why you got so upset this morning over him just going to football practice. It wasn't like he was going away for days? He would be back in a few hours. You just felt so sad and overwhelmed with so many emotions when he tried to leave. You've actually been that way a lot recently. Ever since you and Joe got back from Arizona your emotions seem to be all over the place. Every little thing makes you emotional. Like a couple nights ago when Bean was snuggled up on the couch with you and Joe, and her little head was laying on your tummy as she slept. It was so cute seeing her little body curled up between the two of you that it brought tears to your eyes.

You're sure your heightened emotions are just because of all of the things going on in your life right now. The uncertainty of where you'll be living for the next year is the biggest cause of your worry. Joe was only staying in the apartment for a year. He's recently been house hunting around the area, trying to find his forever home in the Queen city. You, on the other hand, have been trying to decide if you want to re-sign a lease or not. You know what you everyone would say about this: Y/n, why don't you just live with Joe? As great as that sounds, living in an apartment together is one thing, but living in a house? That's a big commitment. You love Joe with your whole heart and you know he loves you just as much, if not more, but you don't know if you're quite there yet. The two of you have only been dating for six months. You think you're ready, but, you don't know if he is...

You got out of bed and went out into the living room. A smile appeared on your face as you were greeted by a barking Bean. "Hi gorgeous girl!" you exclaimed, your voice sounding like you were talking to a baby. Honestly, Bean was basically yours and Joe's baby. You got Bean out of her gated area and took her outside. Once she was done, you brought her back inside and played with her in the living room. As you were playing tug of war with her black and orange rope, your phone went off, signaling that you had gotten a text. You set the rope down and grabbed your phone, seeing that you got a message from Macee.

Macee- Hey Y/n! Joe stopped by before practice and he seemed worried about you...is everything ok?

You shook your head as you read her text. Of course he stopped by and said something. It's sweet of him to be concerned, but there's no reason for him to be concerned about you.

You- Hey! I was having a rough morning, very emotional. I'm better now though, thanks for checking in :)

Macee- Good, I'm glad! Why don't you come in with Bean? I know it's your day off, but I could use some puppy snuggles. Plus, Holly and Emma are coming in with Sophie. Maybe that'll help you out a bit?

You- Beanie and I will be there in a few. Thanks Macee❤️

Macee was right. Maybe seeing the girls would help you feel better.

~Time skip~

"And then I just started sobbing and I couldn't stop." you said, shaking your head, "Joe comforting me almost made it worse."

Macee frowned, "I'm sorry Y/n."

You shrugged, taking a bite of the sandwich Holly got you. You chewed throughly before saying, "It's okay. I've just been super overwhelmed with pretty much everything." Holly gave you a small smile, "Well we're here for you." Emma nodded, "Always." You smiled, "Thank you girls. I really appreciate it." You let out a sigh as you laughed lightly, "I'm sure I'll be fine once my period starts."

Your laughter stopped as soon as you realized what you had just said.

"Y/n?" Macee asked, her face contorting to a look of concern, "You okay?" "Yeah, you look a little pale hun." Holly said, her tone cautious.

You nodded, "Yeah," you said shakily, "um what's todays date again?" Macee looked at the calendar hanging up behind the counter, "The tenth. Why?"

Shit. Your period was supposed to start four days ago. Oh god.

"Oh shit," you breathed out, letting your head fall into your hands. "What's wrong?" Emma asked, reaching out to rub your shoulder. You took a deep, shaky breath and brought your head away from your hands.

"My periods late." Holly's eyes widened, "Oh my gosh..."

"Oh god," you groaned, feeling your face heat up and eyes well with tears, "this can't be happening."

"Hey, hey," Macee said, rushing over to you, "don't freak out yet. You said it yourself, you're under a lot of stress. I doubt you're pregnant."

"Y/n," Emma said softly, "do you have any, you know, symptoms?"

You thought about it for a moment. You didn't think you had any out of the ordinary symptoms, especially those of pregnancy. You shrugged, "Besides the late period and being really emotional and clingy with Joe, no?"

Emma nodded, "Nothing else? Like Sore boobs? Nausea? Being turned away from foods or smells you like"

You shook your head. "I wouldn't worry about it, Y/n." Holly said, smiling reassuringly.

How could this even happen?! We've been so safe. Well, actually there was that one time...on the plane...going to Arizona...oh my god! You mentally cursed yourself as you thought of your...intimate time on the flight to Arizona. It was only a couple weeks ago, meaning it is possible. Could you really be pregnant? You were brought out of your thoughts by Macee saying, "There's a Walgreens down the street if you, you know..."

You just nodded, knowing if you said anything you'd probably burst into tears. Holly smiled and wrapped her arms around you giving you a gentle squeeze.

"I'll be right back."

~time skip~

You walked out of the bathroom of the boutique, rubbing your hands on your shorts. You held two upside down pregnancy tests in your hand, not wanting to look at the results yet. You walked back over the girls and let out the breath you've been holding ever since Holly got back with a box of pregnancy tests and a bottle of water.

Emma smiled, "Whatever the results are, just know we're here for you, okay?" You nodded, "I know. Thank you."

You haven't felt this nervous in such a long time. These three minutes have felt like the longest three minutes of your life. If this test is positive, you don't even know what you'll do. You and Joe have only been dating for six months, and hell, you've only known each other for almost a year. He's moving into a house and you just got a puppy, how can the two of you even bring a baby into this mess?

You let out a sigh and held the tests out, "I cant look." Macee nodded, "I'll do it." She said softly, reaching out for the white sticks that held the fate of your future. She turned the tests over, her eyes scanning over the results. Holly looked over her shoulder and a small smile made its way onto her face. "I don't know if this is what you're hoping for but," she held one of the tests out for you to look at. Your heart dropped to your stomach as you saw two pink lines staring back at you.

Positive.

You're having a baby.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you held the test in your hands. Macee, Holly, and Emma all came over to you and wrapped their arms around you. You can't believe this is happening. Well, you can, considering you and Joe weren't so safe when you joined the Mile High Club... you've always thought about having kids with Joe, but not this soon in your relationship.

"You're going to be a great mom Y/n." Macee said as she rubbed your back. You wiped your tears and smiled softly at her, "Thank you."

"What's going through your mind sweetie?" Holly asked as she squeezed your free hand. You sniffled, "What if Joe doesn't want this. What if he doesn't want to be a dad?"

Emma frowned, "Oh Y/n. I promise he wants this with you. Remember when the two of you held Sophia James for the first time and Joe said you looked like a natural, and that he couldn't wait to see you hold his baby someday? Think about all the times the two of you have watched SJ for Sam and I. He's so good with her, both of you are. He will be so excited Y/n, trust me."

A tear rolled down your cheek as you gave each of the girls a tight hug. "Thank you so much. I love you girls." "We love you too," Macee said as she squeezed you gently. She pulled away and smiled sweetly, "Congratulations." "Yes, congrats!" Holly beamed as she rubbed your arms, "you're going to be the best mama, and Beanie is going to be the best big sister."

You smiled and picked up the puppy, holding her close to you. You thought back to the night where she was laying on your tummy. Bean knew about the baby before it ever even became a thought in your mind. You can already tell that Bean and the baby will be best friends. You talked to the girls about how to break the news to Joe. Holly came up with a cute idea, telling you it would be the perfect way to break the news to him. She told you to get an infant Burrow jersey and give it to him when he gets home from practice. All of the girls agreed that telling him as soon as possible would make the situation much easier on both you and Joe. You thanked the girls once again and said your goodbyes before heading across the street to the sporting goods store. You quickly bought an infant Burrow jersey and headed back home to prepare yourself for how you would break the news to Joe.

You can only hope he reacts the way the girls say he will.

~time skip~

"Y/n!" Joe called as he walked into the apartment, "I'm home!"

You gulped nervously and pulled Joe's purple LSU t-shirt back down. You were looking in the mirror, checking for any noticeable changes in my body. There weren't any yet, but there would be very soon. You took a deep breath and turned the bathroom light off, opening the door and faking a smile as you locked eyes with Joe.

"Hey you." He smiled softly, meeting you in the middle of the bathroom and the living room. "Hey," you breathed out, wrapping your arms around his torso. You laid your head against his chest and closed your eyes. "You doin' any better?" He asked, gently stroking your arm. You nodded against his chest, "I'm glad you're back home. I missed you." You felt his chest vibrate against your cheek as he chuckled, "I was only gone for a few hours sweets," he pulled away and leaned down to kiss your cheek, "but I'm glad you're feeling better."

You just smiled softly at him as you pulled away from each other. It's now or never Y/n...you thought.

You took a deep breath before you cleared your throat and looked at Joe with a smile, "Hey I uh, I have something for you." Joe stopped petting Bean and looked up at you with his brow furrowed, "For me?" You nodded, "Mhm. Go sit on the couch, I'll be right back." "Okay..." He trailed off, watching with caution as you walked into your bedroom. With shaky hands, you picked up the folded black jersey and put one of the positive pregnancy tests in your back pocket. You took a deep breath and walked out of your room and out to the living room. Joe looked at you with a smirk as he looked at what you were holding in my hands.

"Oooo, it's black," he smirked, "you know how much I love that black lace you wear." you shook your head and let out a chuckle, "Stop. It's not lingerie, sorry to get you all worked up." Joe just chuckled as he looked at you. His laughter stopped and he looked at you with a sweet smile, "What do you have sweets?" You held out the folded jersey for him. He grabbed it and unfolded it, holding up the small jersey that his baby would end up wearing in about nine months. That is, if he stays around...

"Did you shrink a jersey?" He laughed, looking at me with sly grin. You couldn't help but laugh. "No you dork," you nervously tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear as you spoke, "look at the tag."

You nervously fiddled your fingers as you watched him bring the jersey down and look at the tag. Your breath hitched as you watched Joe's shoulders slump slightly and his Adams apple bob as his face turned pale. You couldn't quite read the expression on his face, which made you feel even more anxious than you already were.

"Joe," you gulped, "say something please. Anything.

He took his gaze away from the jersey, his blue eyes glossy with unshed tears. "Am I really going to be a dad?" He asked, his voice cracking with emotion. You nodded, "Yeah, you are." you pulled the positive pregnancy test out of your back pocket and held it out for him to look at. Joe grabbed the test and looked at it, his chin wobbling as he saw the results.

"I'm so sorry." you said softly as your own eyes began to well up with tears. Joe looked up at you as a tear rolled down his cheek. He shook his head and dropped the jersey and pregnancy test onto the coffee table before he stood up and pulled you into a tight embrace. "What are you sorry for?"

"For getting pregnant," You sniffed, looking up at him with sad eyes, "we've only been together for six months Joe. You're getting ready to move into your new house and start another season. We've been so careful, I'm just so sorry." Joe frowned, "Oh sweetheart," he squeezed you gently before pulling away to look at you, "you have nothing to be sorry for. I want nothing more than to have a baby with you Y/n.

Your heart swelled with joy hearing his words. "Really?"

Joe nodded and let out a light chuckle, "Yes. Is this unexpected? Yeah. Are we ready? Definitely not." he cupped your cheek as he continued, "but I love you so much Y/n. It might be earlier than we both expected, but I want this with you. Only if you do too." You couldn't help but shed a few tears as he spoke. You really appreciated Joe showing his support for your options. Even if you've only been dating for six months and it's happening a lot earlier than expected, you know that you want to have this baby with Joe. Who knows, maybe having this baby will bring both of you even closer together.

"I love you so much Joe." you wrapped your arms around him, Joe doing the same. The two of you squeezed each other gently as you held each other for a few moments. Joe pulled away, smiling softly at you. "So we're doing this?" You nodded, "We're doing this."

"We're having a baby?"

"We're having a baby."

Joe grinned happily as he wrapped his arms around your body again, this time rocking you back and forth as you both laughed happily. "Wait," he paused, pulling away from you and looking down at you with a smirk, "did this happen from the plane?" You smiled sheepishly, "Maybe." He shook his head and let out an amused chuckle before capturing your lips with a long sweet kiss.

"I love you." you said, a wide smile growing on your face as you looked up at your lover. "I love you too," Joe said, "both of you." He lovingly gazed down at your tummy. You stayed in each others embrace, both silent and overwhelmed with many emotions—the main one being happiness though. Joe broke the silence with an important and unexpected question.

"Move in with me." You raised your eyebrows, taken aback by the question, "W-what?" "I was going to ask you baby or no baby," he chuckled, "but I'd really love it if you moved in with me Y/n. You don't have to if you don't want to, I just thought-."

You cut him off with kiss on his cheek. You pulled away, a light blush on your cheeks as you said, "I'd love to move in with you, Joe."

He smiled, "Good. Because honestly, it would be weird without you there. I've gotten so used to your hair clogging up the drain and your makeup being all over my bathroom counter." You let out a laugh of disbelief as a playful smirk pulled at your lips, "Oh my gosh, quit. I cant help it!" He chuckled against your lips, "I know, I know. I'm just messing with you hon." You smiled, "I know you are."

Joe let out a heavy sigh as he looked down at you, his baby blues full of love and adoration. "So how long have you known? About the baby?" "I found out this afternoon. You're the only one that knows. Well, you, and Macee, and Emma, and Holly..." Joe chuckled, "So the whole team?"

You grimaced. You love the girls, but you know they probably couldn't keep the secret from their husbands. Joe will probably show up to practice tomorrow with the whole team congratulating him. Joe chuckled in response, grabbing your hand so you could both go sit on the couch. As you got comfortable on the couch, Joe leaned over the end and picked up the miniature jersey. He held up one end while you held the other end, both you with wide grins on your faces as you gazed longingly at the jersey your baby would wear someday.

Today was full of many surprises, but each surprise had you even more excited for your future with Joe.

hey loves!!

you and joe are having a baby!🥹 you went from hating eachother to having a baby together all in the span of a year, we love to see it lmao. ugh, i also just couldn't help myself, dad joe is just too sweet to write.

i'll be honest, this isn't how i anticipated this book to end. i had another idea, but i thought it was too boring so i decided to end it like this :) some are probably happy with this ending, some maybe not. I think its sweet. however, the series isn't over yet! we still have 2 more chapters to go, they're just little fluff chapters and an epilogue though, so nothing really important

thank you for all of love and support you've all shown me on this book and my other work as well. it truly means so much to me. you are all amazing and i love each and every one of you!🤍🤍

tags: @jackharloww @ilovejoeburroww @dandelionwrites8 @ijustcrypretty @sinners-98-world @a-moment-captured @stainednailpolishremover @spooky-stoner @xoxokiaraaxoxo @kkrenae @hallecarey1 @jordyn14

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x you #welcome to the jungle

[suffarustuffaru]

If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero

yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?

anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.

it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??

anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.

and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH

also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj

but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!

but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.

also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<

in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<

#ask #suffaru post #people including english professors have told me theyre impressed with my writing but truth is ive just been writing a shit ton of anime #fanfic for the last three or so years LMFAO

[magentagalaxies]

hi @liliana-von-k, thanks for the follow! i have answered this question before but i love talking about kids in the hall and my "origin story" with them so i'm happy to tell it again (jsyk it will be a long post bc i always have to tell the full story bc i love it so much)

basically my parents have both been kith fans since the 90s, so even before i had seen any of the show itself there were certain kith quotes that were just part of my family's vocabulary. the first sketch i watched was "these are the daves i know" when i was like 8 years old and i became obsessed with that song. i watched a few other sketches/the first few episodes from season one but i didn't truly get into kith until after their documentary "comedy punks" was released

see, my mom is a big documentary person so she was like "oh hey there's a new kids in the hall documentary! do you want to watch it?" and i just kind of shrugged and was like sure i'll be in the room while it's on, probably working on my own stuff or scrolling on my phone. but like not even five minutes in i was hooked. while i'd always enjoyed kids in the hall's comedy, something about hearing the very personal histories of how the troupe came together and survived for all these years was so affecting. i think it was scott specifically that really signaled to me that this show was something special, and the part where bruce talked about comforting scott while he had cancer by telling him how the rest of the troupe would die first was so powerful. honestly no individual movie has changed my life more than comedy punks did specifically bc it gave me that push to get into kith and approached it from such a human perspective, which definitely informed my approach to the rest of their work and them as people. i remember watching comedy punks for the first time and getting this strange feeling i couldn't pin down yet that was like this is important, not just referring to the show or the troupe, but like this feeling that i had just crossed a turning point in my life, and i remember feeling this pull towards toronto which seemed frivolous at the time but has been so heavily solidified as i'm now planning to move there in just over a year.

so i bingewatched all of the kids in the hall tv show in summer 2022, as well as brain candy, death comes to town, the amazon season, etc. basically as much kith stuff as i could find. but i needed more. so i started getting into side projects, which brought me to "mouth congress" (a queer-punk band scott thompson and paul bellini had in the early 80s that they've recently started putting out new music with again). i found a youtube channel with a bunch of recent live performance clips of the band and each video had like less than 10 views. so since i didn't have anyone to infodump about kith with irl (aside from my very patient mother lol) i started commenting on every video, complimenting the performances and pretending i was talking to a friend, confident no one would actually see it

after 2 weeks of this, turns out someone did see it. PAUL BELLINI HIMSELF. this led to a whole back-and-forth which eventually ended up with him emailing me a copy of the unreleased mouth congress documentary, i emailed back asking if he'd be interested in meeting on zoom (since i am a queer comedy writer myself so both he and scott are my biggest comedy inspirations), and yeah bellini is a delightful person to talk to and we very quickly became friends. i ended up offering to run mouth congress's social media, which can be found on both tumblr and instagram as @mouthcongress and posts both vintage videos from the 80s/90s and recent live clips. they're currently working on an album of entirely new material written in the past 2 years which is going to be released soon (we don't have a specific release date but the recording is completed and they've started filming music videos for it!! but i'm getting ahead of myself lmao)

a few months pass and mouth congress is set to perform at a new year's eve show at a local club in toronto. i'd never been to toronto before, never even left the united states, but paul says it would be so great to have me there and by some miracle my parents say yes to making the trip (they still can't believe this is happening either, since they were kith fans first!). the trip is wonderful, i immediately fall in love with the city, i get lunch with paul irl for the first time and get to have my very first face-to-face conversation with my number one comedy inspiration scott thompson. it's honestly a little awkward but in an adorable funny way. i also have my first legal drink at that show (bc canadian drinking age is lower than the us), specifically saying i want to have my first drink with buddy cole, which both scott and paul are very into

it's actually only a couple weeks until i'm in toronto again, because scott is debuting a new buddy cole show consisting of monologues that were all censored by amazon that he pitched during the revival season. this is my first time traveling a long distance without my family which my mom is anxious about so paul bellini lets me have him as my emergency contact. the show is amazing, i get to stay for the afterparty, and while i'm there i casually mention that i'm surprised no one has made a buddy cole documentary yet. like, this character has such a rich history even beyond the kids in the hall (which i can infodump about all day lmao) and is such an important staple of queer comedy that doesn't get the attention he deserves. the kith documentary is great, but where's my buddy cole documentary? paul accepts my pitch (that i didn't even realize i was pitching), passes along the idea to scott, and yeah now i'm legit directing a film with my number one comedy heroes and i haven't even graduated college yet. what the fuck. i expected this to be the type of thing i accomplish over 20 years into my career, not at twenty!! so yeah that's how the buddy cole documentary started. i'm still in preproduction on it but we're launching an indiegogo crowdfunding campaign for it in the next 2 weeks bc this has evolved into a full feature-length film with some incredible celebrity interviewees, both kith and otherwise.

anyway a few months later it's announced bruce mcculloch is bringing his one-man-show to the city i go to school in. not only that, but his theater is literally 2 blocks from campus. i ask paul if he'd give me bruce's contact so i can set up an interview for my school's newspaper, paul gives me bruce's assistant's email, and i set up a 30-minute zoom two weeks before bruce will be in town. the conversation honestly goes bizarrely well. like it's honestly surreal how close bruce and i got after only knowing each other for a half hour? he's such an easy person to talk to and literally by the end of that conversation he was already calling himself my mentor, asking about my comedy, and offering to let me meet him backstage after his show. which is exactly what i did, launching yet another incredible friendship-slash-mentorship with one of the kids in the hall.

bruce eventually signed on to executive produce the buddy cole documentary (alongside paul bellini), i've been up to toronto in january, april, june, august, and october this year (so essentially every 2 months, though it was slightly offset by going twice in january) and i'm planning on going up in december, every time not only do i find time to meet up with scott, paul, and bruce but they all deliberately try to reserve as much "jess time" as they can because i have a unique and powerful friendship with each of them, every time i finish a new creative project paul has to see it bc he loves how ambitious i am, i repeatedly wake up to texts scott sends me at 3am about the documentary and how excited he is to have me on tour with him to film it next year, bruce thinks it's hilarious he used to think i was "shy" bc i've gotten so comfortable going on infodumps and tangents about things i'm passionate about, and the three of them all feel like extended family. best of all, i actually have plans to graduate from college a semester early so that i can use the money (and time) i've saved to find a place in toronto and start making even more connections with the comedy community up there (also for the record: no i have not met mark, kevin, or dave yet. i know kevin is aware of my existence from bruce giving me a shoutout at a show they both did but that's about it. but i know i will interview all of them for my documentary)

so anyway that's how i got into kids in the hall. i know only the first 2 paragraphs answer your question, but at this point my love for this show has become so so intertwined with my relationships to bruce and scott and paul as humans that i don't really consider getting into kids in the hall and getting to know the kids in the hall as separate things in my life.

(also if you have any follow-up questions on anything mentioned feel free to reply or dm me, this goes for everyone else too!)

#as always i hope talking about knowing some of the kith irl doesn't come across as bragging bc that's absolutely not my intention #bc i do very much feel like a very lucky kith tumblr nerd and my favorite thing is connecting the kith to this part of their audience #hosting little digital screenings of hard-to-find kith media or passing along questions etc #this is exemplified with my ''kids in the archive'' series which you should check out if you haven't already #but yeah this is a very (and i mean VERY) brief summary of how this all unfolded #bc like. yes this all kind of happened over a year and a half. but it was a very eventful year and a half #if you scroll far enough in some of my kith-related tags you can find posts from in-the-moment before i knew some of them #or when i was still coming up with the concept for the buddy cole doc or something like that #which is very interesting to see. this blog is like a living kith journal lmao #also: the bruce interview article was never written bc i actually lied about writing for the school paper lmaooo #but for the anniversary i might write a transcript and/or see if i can post the audio bc i did record it #i haven't relistened to it since the day (march 6th) so it'll be so cool going back and listening to myself being starstruck #compared to now where i see bruce as ''just some guy (complimentary)''

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Christmas Crackers

John Mitchell x Reader

Words: 4869

Summary: Having taken in a new vampire turned by Herrick’s crew, Mitchell does his best to ease her transition. The reader mourns the loss of her mortal life during her first holiday season without her family. The house comes together to help. 

Notes: It’s beginning to look a lot like Trope-mas… But seriously, I know I’ve kind of been M.I.A for a while. I’ve been working on school and some original works that have taken up a lot of my brain. I hope to write more often, especially for my favorite vampire. Mitchell, as I’ve said, is probably one of my biggest comfort characters. I thought it would be fun to do Christmas with the Being Human gang. One of my favorite parts of the show is the dynamic between their supernatural problems and their ‘human’ moments and I thought Christmas would be fun for that! (I’m only on season two, so I don’t know if they have one in the show) Let me know what you think and happy holidays to those who celebrate! 

Warnings: Oh so obnoxiously sweet. (and my usual angst, of course)

More Mitchell Imagines HERE

-

5 months ago

You stood trembling on the stoop. Eyes darting at every movement. Body so awake it hurt. Everything buzzed. It burned. You knew what would stop it. They told you what to do. But you couldn’t. Not again. Not ever again. 

Your shaking hand rapped against the door. You watched it like you were no longer inside of your body. You were somewhere else. Somewhere dark. Somewhere hungry. 

God, please be you. You thought. Please answer. 

You knocked again. 

The door swung open and a pair of confused hazel eyes met yours. Your own confusion took over for a moment. 

The man from the hospital? 

You wanted to cry, though whether from relief or desperation, you couldn’t tell. He didn’t say anything. His face just morphed with slow realization as he understood. You weren’t sure how, but he knew. He knew why you were there. 

And where you came from. 

You held his gaze. “Are you Mitchell?”

-

Present Day

The neighbors still weren’t quite used to you. Of the inhabitants, you tended to stay tucked away the most. It’s not that you chose to become a recluse. You missed waving at people or yelling something at someone driving like a knob. You missed people. But their heartbeats wouldn’t leave you alone. 

You watched out the window of your room like a phantom behind the curtain. The brisk air outside cooled the glass to your touch. People bustled around, gift bags or evergreen wreaths in hand. Today was the day you were supposed to be putting up the tree in your parent’s living room. It was your turn to put the tree topper on. 

The glass fogged up, blocking your view. You wiped a tear from your cheek. 

A familiar dark car pulled up to the curb. George got out first. He looked irritated, but that wasn’t unusual. He was bickering with the car’s driver. 

Mitchell looked up at the window. It’s where he could usually find you. He gave you a small smile and waved. Your breathing hitched. Today had been hard, the thirst worse than it had been in weeks. But seeing him gave you the reassurance you didn’t realize you needed. 

“Does she ever come away from there?” George asked, following his companions' gaze. “I mean, it’s gotten a little creepy, don’t you think?” 

“She likes it,” Mitchell shrugged. “It makes her feel… a part of everything still.” 

“She has a job down the road. She goes out now and again. It isn’t as if she isn’t allowed to leave.” 

“She isn’t harming anything.” Mitchell scowled. “Let her be.” 

George grabbed his bag and shuddered. “I feel like I’m in a Victorian novel.” 

“Will you just help me with these?” Mitchell shoved a shopping bag into the werewolf’s arms. 

You came down the stairs and were promptly handed a mug of tea by Annie. 

“How are you feeling?” Having been stuck in the house with you all day, she was well aware of how hellish it’d been. She even had to talk you out of going to work a few times. 

You nodded and took a drink. “Better.” 

The boys came through the door and you both smiled. George gave you a nod, but Mitchell knew. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

You looked at Annie. “How does he do that?” 

She shrugged hopelessly in response and took your tea. Mitchell stepped towards you, eyes filled with worry, arms filled with… were those ornaments? 

“What’s that for?” 

“Don’t avoid the question,” he said sternly, setting the bags aside. He searched your face and put his hands on your shoulders. “Did something happen?” 

“Nothing, I swear.” You pushed away from him and moved to the sofa. “I just… had an off day.” 

“I don’t like the sound of that,” George chimed in. “‘Off day’ sounds like someone died.” 

“She called sick for work,” Annie said. 

“And I didn’t go anywhere.” You curled up with your arms around your legs and try and hide your trembling. “Promise. I could just feel it more today and… and…” Your hand went unconsciously to your throat. You wanted to kick yourself. You’d been doing so well. 

Mitchell could hear the pain in your voice. The fight for control was one he’d lost so many times. Seeing you go through it broke his heart. But you were trying. That’s what mattered. 

“Come here,” he soothed, pulling you into his arms. He tucked your head under his chin and rubbed slow circles down your arms. He could feel you shake against him and held you a little tighter. 

“I didn’t hurt anyone. I didn’t hurt anyone.” You repeated it more to yourself than to him, like a prayer. He kissed your forehead. 

“I know,” he whispered against your soft skin. “I’m proud of you. You’re so much stronger than I was.” Your whimpers turned to sobs. He looked over at George and Annie. The two nodded and retreated to the kitchen. “It’s alright. I know, love. It’s alright.”

-

“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” George asked, brushing artificial pine needles off of his hands. 

“What Y/N needs is a bit of normality,” Mitchell explained. He set a box of ornaments on the table. He glanced at the two women in the kitchen making cocoa to accompany the cozy decorations. 

“And holly and mistletoe are going to solve that?” 

Mitchell scowled. “She needs our support, George. It isn’t just the end of her first year as a vampire.” He hung the wreath on the door, expression saddening with sympathy. “It’s her first Christmas without her family.” 

A glimpse of understanding passed over George’s expression. He hadn’t thought about it that way. And what could a few decorations hurt, anyway?

“Who wants hot chocolate?” You called, arms full of steaming mugs. The beaming smile on your face warmed Mitchell’s heart. If he hadn’t seen the state you were in an hour ago, he’d never known anything had been amiss. You handed George a mug and leaned over to Mitchell with his. “Don’t worry, I spiked yours.” You pulled away with a playful wink. He suspected his wasn’t the only beverage with a bit of liquor in it. 

“I told you this was a good spot for it,” chimed Annie, admiring the placement of the small fake tree. 

Mitchell handed you the box of ornaments. “Here. We saved the best part for you.” 

You took out a silver bulb and gave the box back. “Come on. We all have to hang them together,” you cheered. “Just be careful not to drop them. I can’t tell you how many ornaments my siblings and I broke because we would chase each other around the living room. My dad would get so mad…” Your laughter faded and a mournful gaze took over your eyes. You blinked it away. 

Mitchell looked at the others and shrugged. He picked a deer-shaped ornament and found a place for it in the middle. You reached for the same spot and your fingers brushed each other.

Blush attacked your cheeks and you jerked away, finding a different branch. 

Annie elbowed George in the side. 

“Ow!” He exclaimed. “What was that for?” 

She pointedly glanced back and forth from him to the two of you. Mitchell had said something to make you laugh and his eyes lit up at the sound. You stood so close that your arms kept bumping each other, to which you would both leap back, only to draw together again. George’s brows furrowed in confusion. 

“What?” 

Annie rolled her eyes. “God, you’re hopeless.” 

-

You lounged on the couch, legs tucked comfortably beneath you, and smiled at the room around you. It wasn’t much, but the living room had sported its cozy Christmas spirit for a little over a week. Mitchell was right. Silly as it was, it’d helped. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it before, but now, blinking in the tacky colored-lights Mitchell teased you for getting, you understood what it was. 

You were finally starting to feel at home. 

The stairs creaked under two pairs of footsteps. 

“We’re heading out,” Mitchell announced, pulling up the collar of his jacket. 

“I hate that you have to work Christmas Eve,” you sighed, waving to George as he ducked out the door. 

Mitchell shrugged. “Unfortunately, The Ghost of Christmas Present doesn’t mop floors.” He grinned. “I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t forget to pick up the crackers!” You called after him. The door slammed shut and you laid back, pulling your blanket around your shoulders. 

Annie appeared beside you. “Alright,” she said. “Spill.” 

“What?” 

“You two fancy each other!” She cheered, poking your arm excitedly. 

You could feel the heat rush to your face. You turned away, hoping she wouldn’t see it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh please. Like you haven’t ogled at each other since you first came to the door.” 

“Mitchell has helped me,” you insisted. “I came here because I heard he would be able to ease the transition and help me learn to not hurt anyone.” You stood up from the sofa and crossed your arms to hug yourself. It kept your hands from shaking with the nerves. “I’m just a stray he’s taken in. Nothing else.” 

“I see the way you look at him. And the way he acts when he’s around you, I mean come on!”

“Annie, stop it-”

“He’s got this whole place done up like a shop window for you. Do you think Mitchell would do that for- what did you call yourself- some stray?” She grinned. “No, no when I know something, I know, alright and I know that-”

“Enough, Annie!” You exclaimed. If your heart could beat, it would burst out of your chest. Running shaky fingers through your hair, you looked at her with genuine hurt in your eyes. “I’m not talking about this anymore.” You could feel the ache start to set in and it wasn’t just from hunger. “In fact, I think I need to step out for a bit.” 

“What, no, Y/N don’t-”

“I’ll be back before the boys. Don’t follow me.” You didn’t even grab your keys. You just hurried out into the night with your head clouded by your thoughts. If Annie could tell how you felt about Mitchell, surely he’d guessed as well. Was he just being nice to you so you wouldn’t go back to Herrick? Did he just feel sorry for the poor newborn vampire? Or worse, maybe he thought this was all some game, a way to amuse himself through a restless immortality. 

Whatever it was, your assumptions accumulated against your heart, squeezing and retching it until it was unbearable. Only one thing pulled you out of your heartbroken haze. As much as you wanted to stop it, it was a comfort to feel something other than the hurt in your chest. 

Hunger. 

-

Mitchell swayed back and forth, mop handle in hand. He was cheerier than he’d been in a while and it had not gone unnoticed. 

“Someone’s gotten into the Christmas spirit,” the sensible werewolf noted. Mitchell didn’t seem to notice him. George waved a hand in front of his face. 

“Hmm? What?” Mitchell said. The words delayed in his mind. George couldn’t help but smirk as he processed them. “Yeah. I suppose I have.” 

“This turn wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain doe-eyed newbie bloodsucker, would it?” 

Mitchell almost dropped the mop. “What? N-no. I don’t know what you mean.” 

“And you say I’m a bad liar,” his friend teased. “Come on, you can tell me. Annie’s been fussing about it for weeks now. You like Y/N.” 

Mitchell’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. But, after a moment of useless floundering, he surrendered. 

“Is it really that obvious?” 

George grimaced. “You did turn the living room into a Dickens novel. By Christmas standards, I think you went a bit overboard. But hey, what would I know, I’m Jewish.” 

Mitchell leaned against the mop, burying his face in his elbow. “Christ, this is just perfect.” 

“I don’t see what the big deal is. So what? You’re interested in her. She clearly feels the same way. Why not just go for it?”

“Because she doesn’t feel it, George,” Mitchell sighed. “Not the way I do. She’s just in a difficult transition and she’s using me to make it easier.” 

“She’s stayed with us for almost six months, Mitchell. I think it’s safe to say she isn’t just using you,” George nudged him with a small smile. “Besides, I think you’re overstating your usefulness there, mate.” 

Mitchell rolled his eyes. “Oh, shut it.” 

Blocks away, you huddled close to the shadows as you wandered aimlessly through the streets of Bristol. The sun irritated your skin. It was too bright to lift your eyes for more than a few seconds. And of course, there was the thirst that pulled you toward every unaware passerby. 

But even now, you could hear his voice saying he was proud of you. You could hear his comforts and his quiet understandings. It kept you from falling over the edge that you wavered dangerously close to. 

You loved him. You hated yourself for it, but there it was. You couldn’t help it.

Somewhere, someone was playing Carol of the Bells. You stopped and listened. 

When you were young, you were in a choir that went caroling every year. Carol of the Bells was the final song each evening. Your sister always said it gave her an eerie feeling, rather than one befitting the jolly time of Christmas. 

Now, you understood what she meant. Not that it mattered, since you’d never be able to tell her. 

“Lost your way, love?” 

You started walking again, the voice turning the song to little more than ringing in your ear. A hand latched onto your arm and yanked you back. You tried to jerk away. 

“Come now, there’s no need for that,” Herrick tsked. “I just want to talk.” 

“There’s nothing you can say to me.” “It’s the wrong time of year to sound so ungrateful, don’t you think?” He pulled you into an alleyway. You thought of calling for help, but what would anyone do? He was in his uniform and you looked half-out of your mind. 

“What do you want from me?” It’d been months since you’d even heard from Herrick’s crew. It seemed after you chose Mitchell, that they’d decided to leave you be. 

“I want you to do what you were created for,” he said simply. 

Your brows drew together. “What are you talking about?” 

He sighed as if speaking to a child. “You completed the first part of your purpose, but you’ve completely bungled the rest. You were meant to make Mitchell come back to his instincts, not teach you how to suppress yours.” 

Your heart sank into your stomach and you had to lean against the wall of the alley. 

“There, there. You didn’t really think we let you find him by accident, did you?” 

“Let me?” You growled. 

“I don’t know how I can make it any clearer, dear,” he scoffed. “You were created to lure Mitchell back to us. I saw the way he looked at you at his silly human job. He bought you hot chocolate, didn’t he? He felt bad for you. It made you the perfect candidate.” Herrick leaned towards you with a grin. “Everything you’ve done, I’ve allowed to happen. But I’m telling you, now, that your time of playing house has come to an end. I’m tired of waiting.” 

Summoning your courage, you stepped towards him, face to face and sneering. “I’m not going to let you touch him.” 

He just smiled. “Sweetheart, you already have.” 

Your body went cold. His eyes burrowed into yours like they had their own claws. He was right. You’d already gotten too close. You’d done exactly what he wanted. 

Your feet moved before you’d thought to run. You took off down the alley. Harrick’s disdainfully cheery voice echoed after you. 

“Happy Christmas!” 

-

Mitchell unlocked the door with one hand and held onto the box with the other. They were nearly all sold out on Christmas Eve, but he’d tracked them down. You said that popping open the Christmas crackers was your favorite tradition growing up and he wanted to make sure you didn’t miss out this year. 

Annie leaped up from sitting on the stairs when the door opened and Mitchell and George stepped inside. Mitchell was grinning from ear to ear with excitement. 

“I found them,” he beamed. 

Annie chewed on her bottom lip nervously. George looked around the living room. 

“Where’s Y/N?” He asked. Mitchell’s eyes followed his and shot back to Annie. 

“Now,” she gulped, “don’t panic.” 

“Panic?” George squeaked. “Why should we panic?” 

Mitchell put his hands on her shoulders and tried to keep his voice calm. The worry in his eyes betrayed him. “What’s happened?” 

Annie frowned. “It’s Y/N. She just… left.” 

“Left?” George exclaimed. Mitchell put a hand up to silence him. 

“What do you mean, left? Why did she leave? Did she say where she was going?” 

“No!” Annie stepped away, pacing with exasperation. “I don’t even know what happened. We were talking about-” She stopped suddenly. Her eyes widened and she looked over at Mitchell. “Ohhhhh.” 

“What? What is it?” 

She winced. “How dangerous is an emotionally distraught newborn vampire?” 

Mitchell’s gaze switched from worried to panicked. “What did you say to her?!” 

Before she could answer, the front door creaked open. You stepped through without a word. You didn’t even look at any of them. 

You went straight into the living room, slowly walking around its perimeter with your eyes glazed over. Your fingers traced the garland until you reached the tree. Your eyes fixed on the stack of presents beneath the tree and it was like watching every memory of every moment since you’d been here. 

Having morning tea with George in a peaceful and quiet kitchen. Gossiping with Annie and finally feeling like you had a sister again. And Mitchell… god, Mitchell. Every smile, every comforting touch, every flutter in your stomach when he looked at you. 

It’d all been a lie. 

George and Annie didn’t know what to do. They stood quietly together in the entryway. Mitchell took slow, cautious steps towards you. 

“Y/N,” he said softly. “What happened?” 

“It never meant anything,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him. 

“What never meant anything? Y/N, love, you’re scaring me.” 

You finally tore your gaze away from the tree and met his hazel eyes. “I have to leave.” You started for the stairs, but Annie stepped in your way. 

“Y/N, if this is about what I said, I didn’t know it would upset you so much-”

“It doesn’t matter,” you interrupted. “None of it matters.” 

“Did you…” George started. There wasn’t any judgment in his voice. He looked at you with such genuine concern it made the hole in your chest ache even more. “Did something happen out there?” 

You choked back a sob. 

Mitchell hurried to your side. “Y/N, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out. Things happen, but you can still-”

“Stop trying to help me!” You shouted, voice breaking. All three silenced and watched you with surprise. “It isn’t what you think, but I can’t… I can’t be here anymore… I’ve put all of you in more danger and now he’s going to…” You cried, shaking your head. “No, no it's better for me to just go.” 

“So you didn’t hurt anyone?” George asked, sounding relieved. Both he and Annie still looked confused, but Mitchell’s expression had darkened.

“What did Herrick do?” He growled. 

“Herrick- when did Herrick come into this?” George exclaimed. 

“What did he do, Y/N? Did he hurt you? Did he force you to feed? What happened?” The anger in Mitchell’s voice was only overshadowed by his worry for you. 

Your lip trembled as you spoke. “He told me the truth.” 

“What truth?” Annie asked. 

Mitchell already knew. As you relayed everything Herrick said, it only confirmed what he’d suspected from the moment you showed up at the door all those months ago. Sobs interrupted your story, but you pressed on until you finished. He couldn’t decide what his arms itched to do more- wrap around you in comfort or tear Herrick to pieces. 

“That’s why I have to go,” you concluded. You wanted to sound determined, but it just came out as miserable cries. “I won’t be a part of his plan for you anymore. I can’t.” 

“Don’t you see?” Mitchell sighed. “You’ve already beat him. He sent you here thinking you’d draw me back, but really you’ve become my anchor. You reminded me why I chose to leave.” He drew a deep breath and braced himself. “Because loving you makes me feel human.” 

The room went silent. George nodded at his friend, a smile teasing his face. Annie looked ready to burst from excitement. A tear streaked down your shocked face and landed on your jumper. 

“You… what?” 

Mitchell’s eyes softened and a small smile graced his features. “It’s the one thing Herrick didn’t expect. It’s not lust or-or the need to fix you. His plan didn’t work because I fell in love with who you are, not what he tried to turn you into.” 

You felt like your head was underwater, his words flowing together and making your breath catch in your lungs. 

“But I- I thought- I didn’t think you-” you stammered. 

“I don’t expect anything from you,” Mitchell said, the sincerity in his voice making your heart swell. “But I can’t let you go on thinking that he’s won. Herrick thought he could use you, but you're stronger than he thought. Stronger than you think. Even if you don’t feel the same, you need to know. All this time, it’s really you who’s saved me.” 

You didn’t know what to say. All you could do was close the space between the two of you and pull his lips to yours. Mitchell breathed a sigh of relief against your lips and deepened the kiss, his hands moving around your back to pull you closer while yours tangled in his hair. Even when you pulled apart, your forehead stayed pressed against his, and your bodies intertwined. 

“I love you, Mitchell,” you said breathlessly. 

You looked into each other's eyes in the light of those tack Christmas bulbs and forgot the world around you. 

“Is this a bad time to say I told you so?” Annie beamed. 

George chuckled. “I second that.” 

You and Mitchell stepped away from each other and you couldn’t stop smiling. His hand took yours, fingers laced together and the fabric of his gloves softly pressed to your palm. Everything hit you all at once. 

And you just started laughing. 

At first, he thought you’d started crying again and Mitchell’s hand held yours a little tighter. But the sound of your laughter rang through the living room and he just turned to George and Annie in complete confusion. They both shrugged. You cackled like a madwoman until you could contain yourself. 

“I’m sorry,” you snickered. “I’m sorry, this is just… ridiculous. One minute I’m scared shittless of Herrick in a creepy alleyway and the next we’re confessing our love to each other in front of our flatmates.” You held Mitchell’s hand up to your heart. “And to top it all off, it’s Christmas. You have to admit… this is insane.” 

Mitchell chuckled and pulled you back into his arms. “This is our lives.” 

You looked around, taking in everything. George and Annie looked as happy as you felt, and even a bit smug, content with their successful matchmaking. Mitchell kissed your cheek, his gaze following yours around the house. The living room really did look like one of those shop windows you gawked in as a child. 

It was perfect. 

You nodded. “That it is.” 

-

Annie tore through the wrapping paper and you watched with a nervous smile. 

“I hope it works,” you said. “I just thought it would be nice to have something else to wear every once in a while.” 

The ghost opened the box and gaped at the bracelet within. It was simple, but it was sweet and she instantly through her arms around you. “I love it!” She cheered. “Let me get yours.” 

You leaned back against Mitchell’s chest. The two of you were seated on the floor, with his back against the couch and you practically in his lap. While Annie reached for your gift, you told George to grab his. 

“I know Christmas isn’t your thing, but I still wanted to get you something,” you explained. 

“Y/N that’s…” He said, feeling rather touched by the gesture. “Thank you.” 

Inside the wrapping was a nice dress shirt.

You snickered. “That way you’ll have something to wear for your dates with Nina other than that horrible orange one.” 

“Alright, fair enough,” he agreed, laughing. 

Annie, unable to actually go out and buy anything, had made her gifts. For Mitchell, she burned a CD with his favorite old rock songs and for you, she made a photo collage using pictures she could find on your old internet accounts. 

“You know, so you’ll never forget what you look like,” she said. 

“It’s perfect.” You gave her a small smile, taking her hand. “Thank you.” 

She went back to the tree and grabbed the final two gifts. “And now for the lovebirds.” She handed Mitchell a small bag and you a poorly wrapped paper lump. 

Mitchell smiled sheepishly. “I tried.” 

“Go on,” you said with a grin. “Open yours first.” 

You watched as he removed the thin, colorful paper and looked into the bag. He pulled out a pair of grey, fingerless gloves that were in much better condition than the ones he was currently wearing. 

“I know they aren’t much, but I thought, well you wear those all the time, so something new might be nice and well, it’s all I could really think to get someone who's been around as long as you have,” you rambled. He smirked at your nervousness and started to set the bag aside. You held up a hand. “Oh! Wait, there is something else.” 

His brows knitted together as he checked again and lifted a small packet out from the bottom of the bag. 

“Is this… cocoa mix?” 

You nodded, suddenly feeling a lot more embarrassed about the gesture. “I never paid you back for the one you bought me when we met. It was terrible, but my wrist was broken and it was my birthday and you were the only person that made me feel better.” You exhaled, smile falling. “In hindsight, I guess that’s when Herrick started all of this and it might not be as good of a memory for you as it is for me but-”

He cut you off with a quick, sweet kiss. 

“It’s great,” he beamed. He held up his gloves. “And these are great. I’ve been meaning to get new ones. Thank you.” He kissed you again, chuckling against your lips. “Yours might be a bit disappointing.” 

“I’m sure it’s fi-” You ripped through his terrible wrapping and found the gaudiest pair of sunglass you’d ever seen. You gulped. “Fine.” 

“Oh god, Mitchell, where did you find those?” Annie gasped, trying to contain her laughter. 

“What? What’s wrong with them?” He asked, eyes as innocent as a puppy. 

“Nothing,” you put a hand on his shoulder, also struggling not to burst out laughing. “They’re lovely.” You snorted and slapped a hand to your mouth. “I swear. They’re wonderful. Look.” You put them on and, though you couldn’t see your reflection, knew you looked ridiculous with the large, plastic frames. Annie and George were practically rolling. 

Mitchell frowned. “They’re supposed to help with the sun.” 

“I know, dear,” you said, now joining in their cackles. “It’s the thought that counts.” 

“Alright, that’s it,” he exclaimed, leaning forwards so you tumbled out of his lap and onto the floor. He leaned over you, attacking you with kissing and tickling while the other two kept giggling like schoolgirls. 

“Wait wait, we forgot- Mitchell stop it-” You laughed. “We forgot the crackers.” 

“I’ll get them,” Annie said. 

Mitchell sat back up, pulling you up with him. “I’ll return the sunglass tomorrow,” he said. 

“Don’t you dare. I’m keeping these forever,” you teased, taking them off and setting them aside. 

Annie brought out the Christmas crackers and the delightful popping sound filled the living room. You placed a pink papery crown on Mitchell’s head with a bright smile he wished would last forever. 

As he put on your crown, you took in everything- including those awful glasses- and felt a deep content settle into your heart for the first time since turning. When you pulled him in for a kiss now, it was full and loving and, most of all, thankful. Mitchell may not be the best gift giver, but he’d already given you something so much more valuable than anything he could buy. 

He gave you a home. 

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216; @yellowbubblewrap

#john mitchell x reader #john mitchell #being human #annie sawyer #george sands #aidan turner #happy holidays #angst #hurt and comfort #comfort character #christmas comfort #merry chissmas #being human imagine #aidan turner imagine

[dervampireprince]

8k Subscribers on Youtube?!

We only hit 7k two weeks ago what is this?!??! Thank you all so much. I know most of this has come from the new royalty audios and while they are both de-monetised by Youtube without any explanation, I'm so happy they've brought so many new people in!

Confession time: I made, for the first time, some year end goals at the beginning of this year. I've been aiming for 500 Twitch followers, 200 Patrons… and 10k Youtube subscribers. And I kept it private because I thought they were too high, espeically the 10k for Youtube one… but you guys just gave me 1k subscribers in two weeks. So maybe this is all possible. We're currently at 490 on Twitch (where we play games and explore weird websites on Fridays, and we use Magma so I can draw with you guys on the same canvas on Saturdays), 246 Patrons, and now 8014 on Youtube. 10k by the end of the year suddenly looks possible and I am so grateful to you all.

I'm happy the royalty audios have been so well-received, I plan to keep making them frequently alongside the regular original character and fandom audios. I've been changing up my Twitch streams by recently switching out from solo art streams on Fridays to playing games and exploring interesting, weird or old websites (eg old flash games, ARGs, picrews and more) and so far have only explored one website and I'm excited to explore more, but after I finish the game I'm currently streaming which is American McGee's Alice, a game I loved as a teen but never got the chance to play myself so now am fulfilling a little childhood nostalgic dream. And I'm so glad we've got people always showing up in stream and keeping me company, streaming for me is not a career it's just a fun hobby that allows me to socialise because I don't get to see friends IRL often. And the sudden increase in Patrons these last two months has been amazing! Thank you! Patreon is the biggest chunk of my income and you're money goes towards my rent and saving up to move out of my parents house and get my own place where I keep making content more freely. And I want to give an additional thank you to everyone who's been buying off my Etsy shop, I've been running it for 6 years now and the last couple years it's been declining in sales, and then these last couple months have been crazy! I've been selling so many Baldur's Gate stickers (honk) so thank you all so much!

As always with every 1k subscribers it means I will make a 1 hour long sleep aid video chosen from your requests. Usually I tally all the comments up and pick the most popular, unless it's a character that I've already done recently for a sleep aid. For example, the most requested character for the 7k sleep aid was Ambrose and Arden but I just did them for the 5k sleep aid, so instead I've picked the second most requested character, which I'll keep a surprise until that video goes up in a couple weeks. So get your requests in for who you'd like to lull you to sleep for an hour, it can be a fandom character, one of my original characters, or a generic boyfriend or royalty audio. Leave them in the comments below! And thank you all again so much! All of your support, whether you're a Patron, commissioning audios off me, watching my Twitch streams, leaving comments, or just silently supporting and watching my videos, it all helps me keep creating and, honestly, to survive. So thank you.

I know this got long. I'm really not good at not rambling.

#the vampire rambles

[writing-astrid]

midnight feelings

pairing: choi san!nurse x mora (y/n)!college student

word count: 10.6k

summary: both invited to the same party in the changing march, mora meets san—a nurse that also lacks of rhythm to dance—at midnight and under the dim shaft the kitchen light casts on them. it is almost instant their connection, their desire for each other, but mora is experiencing this lust for the first time in her life with this unknown guy, so it would be correct if she follows her instincts?

a/n: welp, hey, there. this is me coming for the first time with an original fanfic, starring none less than one of the demonteez line yet being the sunshine he is, obviously our guy san. hope you enjoy it! lit spent 9 months writing this and i finally could finished it.

don't forget to like and comment! they are much appreciated xoxo

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It was late at night. Saturday was minutes to be history, and I was in my second beer. Chatter came from everywhere, music filling the March breeze running through the house I was in. Lights were off except from the one in the kitchen and the patio. Bad Bunny was on the speaker, and the dancing people were chorusing him. Even I joined them sometimes while standing there, in the limbo between the kitchen and the dining room, holding my beer, careful not to warm it up. The mood was nice and my girlfriends seemed to be enjoying themselves too.

Although they were also shy and not that drunk to be in the middle of the living room dancing with the many faces I’d seen in past parties. The three of us glimpsed at each other before lifting the bottles to our lips. Cami was in her third drink; Niki also in her second—she had bought like four Strongbows and it looked like they were soon to be gone.

“Faster!” Cami addressed me. I looked up at her. “Chug it down!”

I laughed. “One of us has to remove the makeup of the three.”

“None of us will!” Niki corrected. A fun spark crossed through her eyes, and I knew she was joking by seeing how her blue lips showed her flashy, perfect set of teeth. “But seriously, though. Enjoy the night. It’s been a heck of a week.”

“And it’s not even midnight.” Cami made a funny face before taking one more sip. I laughed again and imitated her. The cold liquid made it through the throats when another bop was being played on the speaker. Rompe by Daddy Yankee rumbled on the walls of the living room. Every single soul in the whole property screamed, immediately chanting the catchy beginning.

A circle was made where more people stepped into the darkness of the room to twerk—whether against a partner or down the floor, hard—and sing-slash-shout with no fear of losing a lung. Niki, Cami and I stayed behind like three static security cameras, drinking in their excitement with grins. The amount of people surrounding us flushed our cheeks.

“Holy shit, that’s sick!” exclaimed over the noise a guy on my left. Since I hadn’t noticed his presence, I was oddly amazed to find he was closer to me than what I’d thought. His smile widened to one side as he glanced at the three of us.

Dim light from the kitchen hit his profile, since he was half-facing us. A breath of mine joined the atmosphere when the clothes involving our arms brushed.

“Wish I could twerk like him, but the body Jesus gave just knows how to stand still like this,” he continued. His voice was a few decibels louder than the new verse of the song.

Not knowing which of us he was regarding, I answered, “All mortals like us can do is watch them and steal some of their energy.”

His eyes widened. “Oh, so you don’t dance either?”

“Can’t,” I clarified and deviated my sight from him to the dance floor. But now I knew I couldn’t easily forget his long eyelashes. “My parents didn’t program me to have rhythm when they created me.”

His body prompted toward me, finishing the connection his back had with the wallpaper. Lifted up a hand, eyes on me. Whoever this guy was wouldn’t need to say another word for me to high-five him. His skin warmed our touch.

“They used to tell me a bedtime story about why San—me—couldn’t dance at all. Spoiler alert: the stork that brought me to their garden wasn’t used to dance either.” The tone in his amiable voice made me laugh. The joke coming from his mouth sounded so funny to my relaxed system. “But hey, this isn’t fair. You already know my name. What’s yours?”

This wasn’t the moment to roll my eyes, not when I wasn’t even bothered to play along and follow the path San began to walk in. It actually caused a nice sensation in my insides.

Could’ve been the beers? I wouldn’t know.

“I’m”—I gave a step closer to him and tiptoed. The music boomed against every wall in the house and my voice was a small piece compared to it—“Mora!”

Feeling ashamed, because I practically yelled to his ear, I returned back quickly. I hadn’t expected what he did once I looked up again, though.

He had his lips pursed in a contained smile. Within one of my heavy breaths, he seized the opportunity and bent over my shoulder. “Mora? Isn’t that the Spanish word for ‘berry’?” The words got caught up in my throat, so I nodded. Jesus, his perfume suited him. “What a pretty name. It matches your lipstick.”

I shouldn’t have patted myself mentally for choosing the lost purple lipstick from the drawer.

But I did. I was elated I had.

“Thank you,” I whispered. My attention fell on my friends when they mouthed they’d go to the restroom; I signaled them a thumb up. “My parents were going to name me Monet, but I much prefer Mora.”

I gestured to him to move from where we were, back to the limbo I’d been standing at, where we could talk better.

“That’s because you’re accustomed to it by now. You would’ve said the same thing at some point in your life if your name had been Monet.” He pinched his lower lip with two fingers, as though it was a habit when thinking. “So, Mora, how did you know of this party?”

This time I did roll my eyes.

With a fucking smile on my face. “The host is my friend. You?”

“Same,” he said, his tongue catching and moistening that exact lip. “Though I heard of the party an hour ago or so. Lily invited us at the last minute.”

I went back to leaning on the wall, my eyes shifting from his to the dancefloor and vice versa. The person controlling the playlist really wanted everyone to move. “I’m not surprised.” I laughed with the mouth of the bottle between my lips. “If you’re friends with her, you may know how distracted she can be. I’m not blaming her, though!” I added immediately, before drinking another sip. “She has a lot in her mind with med school already.”

A brow arched above his wooden eyes and then exhaled. “Those good ol’ days. I graduated in December and damn, this ain’t no better than what I’d anticipated.”

“You’re already working?” I asked as I realized I had no clue what he could've specialized in. We were at a party hosted by a future doctor, but I wasn’t studying this and I couldn’t tell by just looking at him. It almost felt like guessing his name.

If he hadn’t told me, I would’ve named him Diego. That dark brown hair and wooden eyes gave off a Diego vibe. Or perhaps I was projecting one of my recent crushes on this San guy.

Both of them had been attractive to me the moment I paid attention to their presence near me. This is a secret, so keep it, please.

“What did you major in?”

“Nursery, actually. Many of these faces are faces I’ve seen daily the past four years.” San grinned in the middle of our eye contact. “I— To this day I still don’t know why I chose it.” And our laughs boomed with a drumming base of the music.

“Nor how you survived through.”

His eyes spread out, like he finally had realized something shocking. “Damn. You’re right, Mora. I keep going to school for my internship, so it feels like my student days haven’t come to an end.”

“Wow. I don’t think we’ve ever crossed paths.”

San dismissed my statement with a shrugging of a shoulder. “But tell me, what are you studying?” He moved aside to let a couple walk into the kitchen. One guy opened the fridge to my right, and by noticing the way he stumbled kneeling down, there was no doubt a single hit would send him to the floor; I grabbed the handle for him.

The other guy had halted in front of the stove, looking at the digital clock on it absent-mindedly.

“Translation, actually.” I mocked his voice tone, causing him to free a chuckle.

“Hey, that’s so cool! Many of my friends also studied that. You have to learn a third language, don’t you?”

I nodded. “Then ask them if they can help me. I’m a sophomore, but how I’ve come this far is yet to be known.”

I took another sip of beer while seeing him lift a finger at me, a crease forming between both brows.

A cute reaction, not gonna lie.

“Wait a moment.” I mouthed “Okay” and waited a moment.

And another.

I let go of the door finally.

But yet another.

Until I couldn’t help myself by asking, “What is it?” when he looked like his brain had stopped being functional.

“How old are you?”

My head tilted with tiny confusion curling my lips. “Nineteen. Why?”

He gulped down saliva so hard his Adam’s apple bobbed in a quick motion. I wouldn’t have noticed the moment I turned my sight away from him if it hadn’t been for the strands of hair landing between us like a curtain. My arms positioned as to embrace my torso, the cold, dark glass of the bottle resting on the corner of my elbow.

“I’m sorry I look flabbergasted. Guess wasn’t expecting you to be much younger than me.” One of my brows arched inquisitively, which he decoded immediately. “I’m turning twenty-three in summer.”

I held his gaze during a breath until I stared at the chanters on the couches and muttered, “Damn, you’re indeed old.”

“I’m— Sorry, sorry. I didn’t intend to say it that way. It’s just— You could be my sister’s friend.” San stepped forward and gingerly grabbed the wrist over my ribs as he noted my sulking. His face had drawn a nervous smile when I glanced back at him. “Hey.”

The next series of things occurring were as though the writer of my life had stoned. The couple in the kitchen decided they had had enough of kissing under the light and, thus, stumbled their way out.

Meaning, they either crossed between San and me or, as the easiest available option and the one they executed, pushed San to me to clear the way for both. They might’ve been a drop away from blacking out, but God wouldn’t minimize their strength.

One arm went to the concrete about my head, cutting him short from mashing my body with the mass of his body.

Both guys staggered behind him. I perceived when they were finally on the other side of the limbo, because my eyes were locked with the thin brown ring of his, and one second to another his background had again the rusty tone of the wall.

San’s perfume melted my insides, causing my breath to get stuck in my throat. I was almost capable of tasting him. In his gaze I found stars and fog, turning into shooting stars at the vibration when regarding my face. But when his chest stretched at him grasping for air, I had to control myself from raising my palms and touch him. Heat ran through my veins and never from where San was holding still my wrist—a countdown for me to ignite when it arrived in my heart. 

I could’ve burst into flames at his proximity. And the worst of it all was how little I cared. I’d gladly become ashes if I could have him this close again.

Exhaling shakingly and lowering his arm, careful not to hit me, San stepped back in slow motion. It seemed, by the flush on his cheeks and oscillation of his lashes, that he felt torn apart. Especially when our skins broke contact. My rush of adrenaline ceased and my breathing took wing—I believe the medical terminology would be “hyperventilation,” but the spot-on person to know if I was hyperventilating for a ridiculous reason was San, not me.

My hearing focused on the irregular beating heart drumming in my head. San regarded me with a teeny-tiny smile, bare visible yet there. Maybe trying to reassure me—nonetheless, I couldn’t bring myself to answer him. My brain was processing so much information I noticed his gesture five seconds after, when it proceeded to waver and vanish.

Then, and out of nowhere, before my vocal cords could produce any kind of sound, Niki materialized on my side, grabbing my hand and exasperatingly asking if I could call her. It had been a while since she used her phone and now didn’t remember where she’d left it. The noise made it hard for me to understand it all in one go, but once I assimilated the thread of words, and as Niki began to drag me out of my spot, I glimpsed back at San and his dark eyes and contrasting reddish t-shirt.

My heart begged to leave my chest as I said, “Sorry. I, uh— I’ll be back.”

Niki eventually brought me with her after he responded with hefty eyelids and messy hair, “Yeah, no worries.”

Worrisome crept through my skull and hung from my ribs, and fucking used it like a swing. 

San disappeared from my sight when we meandered left, walked past the queue to the toilet and through the main door. I found Cami sitting in front of a beautiful scarlet bougainvillea, using the edge of the concrete planter as a bench. Her also scarlet hair and crimson lipstick suited her so much my mouth wouldn’t shut up when I first saw her earlier.

“So how did it happen? When was the last time you used it?” I asked, cheeks flushed by the different first-experiences I’d had.

Cami furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

I was already on my contact list searching for Niki’s number the moment she herself placed a hand between the screen and my sight. “Well…A white lie doesn’t hurt anyone, does it?” She giggled, and Cami and I exchanged looks.

“What did this girl tell you?”

“That she lost her phone— Bitch, it was a lie?”

“In my defense, you were suffocating in flames there. It looked like you really needed some air, so I had to think fast.” Niki took a seat next to Cami and let go of a restrained sigh. “But air aids fire. Instead, I thought some watering should do you good.”

My brows erased the “Distance” entry from their dictionary. “Watering? What do you mean?”

“It’s going to rain. I can smell in the air.” Niki lifted a shoulder as it was nothing. Then grinned.

“Liar. You checked the weather app in the morning,” Cami reprimanded her with a soft shoving to the side. Her attention returned to me, and gifted me a reassuring smile. “So Mora, my girl, what was all that?”

Darn Cami and her devious gestures.

“Did you—?”

“Yup.” Cami popped the “p” and the way I heard it was as though she had enjoyed it. I glared at them, agape and sensing static crawling under my skin. “Everything.”

“Oh, God.” I didn’t know the many times I repeated myself in my pacing out of madness, but when I came to a halt, Niki and Cami had their eyes focused on me.

“We were taking care of you. We don’t know him, Mora,” Niki explained carefully, delicacy in her eyes.

It took me a few seconds to comprehend them, but I nodded. She was right. I also would’ve taken care of both if they had been in my position—talking to a stranger in a party where obviously, we were the vulnerable ones.

“What did you see?” I inquired secretly, trusting they would understand the real intention.

They glanced at each other, as in remembering better, and pondered in silence. Niki stretched her legs and crossed them again afterward. “He wants to kiss you so bad. More than the half of the time you’ve talked, he kept his hands on the pockets of his pants. And y’know what that means.”

“And when he noted he’d grabbed your wrist, the expression he made…like it also was a surprise to him for reacting in that manner.”

“Damn, and the way he approached to touch her,” Niki squeaked. “Please don’t let me know if I hallucinated because I couldn’t have gotten butterflies from my imagination.”

“Niki—”

I gasped, silently feeling comforted that I wasn’t making it up either. “You didn’t,” my voice managed to formulate.

I didn’t feel attacked at his attempt to reduce space between us. His grasp had been tender and hot around my skin, being mindful that the gemstones in my bracelet could easily hurt me if put more pressure on. Not even I’d been that attentive to it; for a reason I continuously ended up stabbing myself when doing anything.

“Then what did he make you feel? Are you comfortable around him?” Cami questioned with her mom-like tone.

I pondered an adequate answer while evoking our conversation and how he adventured to start it. In front of me, both girls squawked.

“We’ve lost her!” they yelled, and I had no other option than to shut them up with a slap on their laps. Their giggles caught the attention of the people in the garage, provoking my face to paint as maroon as the flowers behind my friends looked in the shade.

“We’ll keep eyeing you, okay?” The corners of Niki’s blue lips curled upwards. “Now you may return with your man.”

It is fair to say she deserved this second hit, at which she remained impassive notwithstanding. “He’s not my man, idiot.”

But then she challenged me with a threat. “You’ll be sleeping on the freezing floor if we leave this party and you’ve got no action.”

“I wouldn’t even be sorry I’ll be taking your place on the bed, Mora,” Cami seconded her with a smirk too.

“At times like this is when I seriously ask myself why and how you gained my love.” Biting my lip, I stomped my way back under the same rhythm of my erratic heart. The last thing I heard from outside were their devil laughs, and, to my great surprise, a thunder that silenced for a beat the music from inside.

It saddened me for a second that I’d missed the twisting of the lighting in the closed sky.

To be completely honest, I don’t quite have an idea of how I arrived back to the kitchen with my mouth filled with beer and my bottle hanging now empty from my fingers. I did somehow, and without any inconvenience the beer went down my throat, still cold and bitter. I trashed the bottle and moved to the fridge to open my last one.

While trying to find our box of beers, I also pathetically attempted to shy away every thought related to San. What we talked about, and what could happen next.

However, it was impossible.

I was intrigued, and my mind wouldn’t stop inquiring. When I stood up, my eyes roamed through the room and its feeble lighting. My eyes plummeted on a group of guys on the patio, talking and laughing. San was there, from his fingers dangled a lit-up cigarette whereas his other hand held a beer. A warm yellow shaft fell on his features, and I could see a threat of smoke emitting from his lips.

When I raised my eyes back to his, he already had been staring at me. He raised the cigarette back to his plump lips as soon as he exhaled the puff. His t-shirt stretched with his breathing in, but I couldn’t look away.

We stared at each other, inert on our feet while people danced their way between us.

San didn’t return to the mass intoning Danny Ocean even when the rain broke the skies and poured outside. And I focused on other things to forget that I had a clock right behind me. Cami and Niki pranced tipsy through the hallway to the living room and, at last, joined the crowd. I found another friend in the party, and drank half of the bottle with her, mumbling into nonsense as I accepted the alcohol in my system.

More lightning and thunder echoed in the heavens. I would like to say that was the reason I’d look outside the window door so frequently, and not because of certain someone whose heavy stare I felt on my body, making like a path of burning tingles, from time to time. Although it was impressive how him and his friends were still in the patio even when rain began pouring slightly.

A part of the night clicked by lively with the three of us attempting to twerk, making us company when going to the toilet—thank God neither needed help inside the restroom—and trails of screen’s lights, manes, and shirts roaming around.

The speaker had played perhaps four or ten songs by the moment I finished my drink and my phone vibrated in my hand from a text. It was my brother at two a.m. asking if we were going to need him to come for us since rain had gotten heavy in the last five minutes. The house was just a pair of streets away, but I pondered on the answer while making my way to the countertop to grab a glass of water. I bent to fill the red cup, and unconsciously left the chat open, so hearing a voice next to me was a huge startle that got me hitting in the crown of my head.

“Your boyfriend?” San had asked, and caused my scene of humiliation. “Oh, shit, are you okay?”

“I hope so.” I chuckled and massaged the area that was throbbing.

Seldom are the times I promise things, but I swear I had my eyes closed the moment I faced the voice. That, until another pair of hands cupped my hand and jaw, leading me to stare widely at his eyes, surprise plastered on my features and in my heartbeat. There were so many questions I wanted to formulate—how could you make me feel things so soon? Who are you? Who will be you tomorrow morning?—while mingling in his voice and smell.

Blame the alcohol crashing in my bloodstream, but if I were to turn into thin dust at this exact second by formulating them and continue talking to him the rest of the damn night, I knew I wouldn’t fucking mind.

Before I could hear his questioning inside the walls of my head, my vision lowered to his mouth and plump pink lips. He’d pursed them once again. This occasion, near the yellow kitchen shaft, their shape reminded me of the buttons of my shirt—round and fleecy, absorbing the dim shadows of the room. And my hands wished to do just two things: to bring his lips closer and tear my shirt open.

A shift on his brow in a cocky manner brought me back to the query floating around us. “Does my response matter?”

Not a single beat in when he said, “Yes.”

My hand fell to my side, and along with the motion I swung his skin with me. I blinked. “No. It’s my brother asking if he should collect us since it’s…raining.” One finger of him was grabbing one of mine, loosely.

That’s when I noted his wet hair and the drops of cold rain on his t-shirt, all over his broad shoulders. Two trailed down the side of his neck, and it took all of me not to lick them off.

The point where our skins connected was severely precarious. We’d stop touching each other even at the slightest involuntary movement. It got me in a state of self-awareness and warning, red codes flooding my arteries. I shouldn’t even consider grasping tighter to not let him go.

But he was digging deeper in both my skin and eyes. Each ticking second became harder for me to differentiate if the numbing of my thoughts were his nearness or the drinks perching in my system and fogging them. San was under my touch, in front of my sight, inside my lungs. How could I not have gotten intoxicated by him?

My guts clenched at noticing the sex-themed lyrics of the songs blasting from the speaker. Verses I’d sung my lungs out on my own were stuck within my breath in the back of my throat.

“I shouldn’t be worried then?” His husky voice electrified my veins.

My eyelids fluttered in bewilderment. “About what?”

“You having a boyfriend.” I sensed his smirk prior to swinging down my gaze. Curling the fingers of my free and useless hand, I forced myself to peek at his wooden eyes and maintain my focus there.

Me fighting against myself and these foreign instincts was somehow a ground absolutely virgin—such as I indeed was.

My brain cells had died or extinguished themselves from Earth, as the dinosaurs. Because constructing sentences and foreseeing what could happen only led me to an awkward emptiness in my mind, where not even the noisy murmur of my subconscious would guide me. As though it had turned off, like a radio with dead batteries.

That was when I snapped out of my cage—grabbed my phone, now the screen off, and stepped away from him, shaking my head as the response his frown was eager to hear. Placing the phone in one butt-pocket, I looked in the counter for my previous glass but ended up grabbing a new one to fill with water. It was clearer than the liquid I was drinking that I didn’t want to see what his reaction was.

Never had I been ashamed of never having a boyfriend—or of basically being inexperienced with guys—but now, missing the possible change of his expression would make it simpler to the thumping of my heart aiming to rip my chest open.

When I glanced at San, the creases from his forehead had disappeared. The smirk had stayed, though, and caught something like relief flooding his features.

“I’d never had a boyfriend, as a matter-of-fact,” I faintly said, not knowing what had prompted me to, once half of the red plastic glass was finished. The liquid in it was tasteless, so I was positive it was water.

My body couldn’t take another drop of alcohol.

“I’m calling BS,” San exclaimed in stupefaction.

I grimaced. “Believe me when I say I wish it was. Always have attributed it to the numerous unrequited loves I’ve found myself in. Knowing that nothing would ever go beyond that, perhaps even unconsciously, every single time has made it easier for me to just…unclasp them from me. Or me from them.” A corner of my lips went upwards bittersweetly as I swung in the water left in my hand.

San crossed his arms on his chest and peered the room behind me before asking, “So you’ve had no sex?”

My face flushed and my stomach sank. Didn’t think he would dare to enquiry so directly. “Nope,” I answered sincerely, staring at the countertop. Then at his eyes. “What about you?”

San nodded. “My first time was a few years ago, with my now ex.” He scratched his nape. “Wait, have you gotten to any base?”

That question got me biting back my lip before I could think it through. “The abstract of my romantic and sexual lives is inexistent.” I laughed my usual laugh, with my head falling back and my neck exposing. “Never have I held hands with somebody. Never have I kissed someone. Never have been touched—”

Unlike other situations caused by alcohol, this moment caught me with the surprise that indeed alcohol is dangerous to people like me. The kind that takes too long to say things because we overthink everything. But due to our systems altered and light-feathered head, words would be vomited, slurred, that otherwise would’ve been thought thoroughly in some fake scenario prepared beforehand.

And sharing this information wasn’t in my plans. Although it was too late to mend the mess—San had heard, processed, and comprehended my words.

Feeling my mouth open and close twice, I went mute for a second as I dwelled on what I should do next to avoid the slightest idea in him of stopping our acquaintance. As inexperienced as I was at kissing and being in intimacy with guys, the blood in my veins still fancied his proximity, his attention, his eyes on me and my lips nonetheless.

I was not dense enough to miss noticing how his view swayed downwards, and it wasn’t to admire the purple-ish lipstick fading, even though his eyes locked there for a beat too much. 

“I’m not gonna apologize for speaking facts about me. And if it’s a huge pressure on you and I to be friends due to that and it leads to us stopping our convo, then I guess you may regret it a little. But I assure you in the end it’s gonna be okay; you’ll survive.”

His chortle danced to my ears. San didn’t spare my blood pressure as he let his head hang cutely to one side. “It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to a girl in a party, and you’re easy-going and funny that I don’t think I could let you go just right away.” He snatched from my black-polished nails the red glass. “Besides, I ought to know how come that no one has ever…been inside your walls.”

The rose tint from the beers on my cheeks grew darker as I caught the suggestiveness rolling out of his tongue. But I was riveted on him filling back the cup and sipping next to the spot of a purple lipstick that, in the end, I didn’t relate this new wave of heat to his words.

“What would you do then, if you had the opportunity in your hands?” He returned to my left flank and leaned his hip on the counter. “Would you have sex with someone you’d just met?”

My head shook on its own before the ˂20 sober percentage in my system could process and ponder his question. “One-night stands aren’t really my thing.”

“Oh, that’s good, you’ll be safer. I never have experienced it either, since it is never sure if the people involved are completely clean. Irony would be if a doctor or nurse ends up catching a STD.”

“It may be mainly that, yeah. But just imagine if one of them has a kink that is not of your liking and wouldn’t respect your decision by imposing themself. There must be trust, respect for each other and their boundaries, and—”

“Love?”

The mocking tone in his voice drew my brows together. “San, please, we’re talking about sex. You well know this is apart from romantic emotions.”

He shrugged a shoulder and showed me a wide smile. “It was a dumb question you answered perfectly.”

To continue his joke, I pushed myself away from the counter and teased him with a nineteenth-century curtsy. “It has been my pleasure, my lord.” I finished my little theatrical act and returned my gaze to him, freezing briefly at the smirk that popped into view a pair of beautiful dimples I had tried my best to ignore before.

This bastard had to have it all, hadn’t he?

“But yeah, that’s how things are. Personally, I could never be with someone whom I don’t trust nor connect. Developing these feelings toward someone completely different from you takes a big-ass amount of time.”

While he began answering me, he moved us away from a group of friends that had entered the kitchen and that I was unaware of. “You’re one of those who enjoy suffering thus choosing the hard way, ain’t you?”

I smiled at him, biting my lip quickly to behave as I should.

But being tipsy wasn’t advantageous for the situation. “And you’re one of those who act in a bold manner.” I pointed at his hand wrapping my waist, his warm hand spread immobile against my only layer of clothing. “Not that I mind. Things have felt and been different tonight and somehow…I can’t seem to complain having you close,” I whispered, fidgeting with the ends of my mane.

Two of his fingers, oozing security and softness, placed a few of my rebel baby hairs with the rest, but ended up wandering through the bridge of my nose to a brow and then to my temple until they were brought to a halt in my jaw. His stare exposed his confusion and desire, as it glued for seconds on my features in sheer silence. Not even his breath made it to my ears, much less his heartbeat.

San and I were in a corner of the room, and he acted as if no one else could see us there, standing so close we might’ve as well looked like we already kissed. The purple of my lips was surely smeared, but San wasn’t the reason. 

I wasn’t used to having eyes on me. Under other circumstances, people would take a look over us and gossip about things. However, every single soul in the house was in their own world, I had to remind myself.

I wasn’t used to having eyes on me, although in this circumstance, if by “eyes” meant his, then I think I had no option than to sway along the river.

“The night is young and yet I feel it slipping through my fingers.” San tightened his grasp on my back, inducing me to get a step closer. Our chests had finally clashed one onto the other. “I want to know you more, so talk to me, please.”

It took nineteen years in order to fully acknowledge that my boobs were too small for my liking.

A nervous laughter, another of those that display my neck, came out. Thank God San was holding me steadily, because I could’ve lost balance. “We’re already talking.”

“This is not enough, Mora,” he said with a small smile to the side, a small dimple appearing. “Tell me more about you, your family, your past. I’m genuinely interested in this girl named after one of my favorite berries found in Costco.”

He welcomed my weak fist on one solid bicep.

And San laughed, shrinking his eyes and frowning his brows. His shoulders had also lifted but when the tension left his system, his stare returned to be the heavy, beaming one pouring over me.

I did as requested and we…got lost into our own little world. Exchanged life experiences, dreams and goals for the future, and family situations with their respective inside jokes. Stole two pieces of cake from the fridge and savored them at three a.m. Although San finished what I’d left, since I wasn’t as hungry as him—I had eaten the leftovers of my hamburger minutes prior to starting putting on makeup. He handed me his phone to write down my name on Facebook’s searching bar; I unlocked mine on my other hand to accept him. We laughed, I almost cried and he freaked out a little bit. He held me close, stood between my legs when I sat down on the countertop, or grabbed me again from the waist with one or both hands when his hip was leaned on the edge of the laminate. 

We’d provoke brushes or strokes if for any reason we had finished the prior contact. I sent him signals, mental texts, images of what I was manifesting, because our connection grew and I felt it—as well as I felt a big percentage of the alcohol leaving my body by now, though this wasn’t as urgent as the former.

The clock was ticking, and I had become a bit surer of what I wanted to happen between us. Even with the threat of me sleeping on the floor if I returned home with no action, my mind was made up for a completely independent reason. And that certain reason was thumping as mad as a drummer inside my ribcage and throbbing against other parts of my body. There was no necessity for him to know this.

But before anything else happened, I had to hear the truth from his lips and voice.

“San?” I muttered.

He turned toward me after having searched everywhere for the third red cup we’d lose within an hour. “Yeah?”

“Let me be straightforward and ask something even if I kill the mood.”

San laughed. “Go ahead.”

“You—” I cut myself to breath in. Speaking my sober mind wouldn’t ever stop being hard, ain’t it? “Earlier, you talked to me thinking I was older?”

Not a single second passed when he articulated in a shy tone, “Positive.”

“And you’ve always had in mind kissing me?” God, it’s me again. With the alcohol remaining in my veins, make me look good and nothing-at-all ashamed for interrogating him this way.

His head tilted, and a half curve was formed on his lips. “If the chance came, yes. No one says no to kissing in a party. Just look around. Everyone’s lips are glued to another’s. But knowing this would be your first kiss, I wouldn’t like to pressure yourself into doing something you’re not sure of.”

Well, I hadn’t learned at school which is the best timing to give your first kiss, and even though I wasn’t against the idea of turning this moment into a romantic memory, I’d always wanted to have my first kiss with a boy I liked. Yeah, that’s right. The dream of every girl with pink-colored glasses on.

Truth be told, I’d felt this electricity running through my whole body when San’s eyes landed on mine or studied my face, so it was impossible to deny that I wasn’t attracted to him. He’d been treating me respectfully the whole night, which made me think of him like a safe guy. And he already pledged he’d stop whenever there was a “no” from either his partner or him.

He seemed trustworthy after all the time we’d spent talking and opening about ourselves.

It just was my mind that wouldn’t shut up with all its hourly overthinking, nonetheless. He was older, yes. He had more experience, yes. He knew what he was looking for—which I didn’t know. Did he come to me because he thought of me as a pretty gal or as someone sexy who he’d get something from? Did he see me and couldn’t stop himself from coming over? Or was I the easiest target because I was with my girlfriends and standing still?

And after the sun rises again, with me in his Facebook friends and vice versa, what will be going to happen? Back to strangers, but now with the only difference that he will have become the guy who took my first kiss away from my lips?

Funny thing is, regardless of the overthinking of my mind, I did want it.

I wanted him to kiss me. 

I did crave the shortening of distance between his lips and mine.

I had made my mind that he was the one I’d chosen the moment I started feeling protected in every kind of way. When he didn’t laugh at my lack of experience and romance in my life. When he answered my naïve questions with seriousness, never trying to mansplain what he knew about.

And he might’ve acted all out to get this one goal—to eat someone’s mouth in a party, the most casual thing—but I might have as well. I’m no goddess-looking girl, but I flirted, intended to focus him on my lips by playing with them, posed to look sexier for him to notice the usual cute face everyone sees.

It may be not a lie when I say that we both were lusting for it. To taste, smell, feel each other. Arousal ran under my skin at the expectation, though I still hadn’t answered him. My eyes fell on the closed glass door. And then beyond that, to the darkness of the night and the few raindrops that had lingered enough time on the ceiling and would meet the same spot on the floor.

“Ever crossed your mind that your first kiss would be under the rain?” he asked, silencing my train of thought.

I couldn’t stop a smirk from forming on my face. “Oh, Mr. San, are you asking me if you can kiss me?” I half-joked. I was done. My heartbeat had taken the race thing too seriously and now bumped blood to my body at the speed of light. The weightless breeze caressing the bare skin of my neck was cold.

Or maybe I was too turned on.

Which was weird, because he hadn’t touched me past my hand and clothes. Besides, I had stopped drinking a while now.

Lust really was something else, huh?

“I’m open to the opportunity if you also want to.” He shrugged like it meant nothing, maybe not to put pressure on me, but I sensed his lie under the tip of my tongue. It tasted sour.

“Okay,” I found myself muttering with a crescent smile. “I do. I’m in.”

Best mood-killer ever, by the way.

He gave me a shocked look before questioning me if he’d heard right. I repeated myself. He grinned.

We snickered into the door on his back, into the laundry room. The door shut us in the darkness, and I didn’t care if someone caught us on our way in. This moment was San’s and mine.

“Follow me,” I whispered even though the music beyond the walls could hide my normal voice enough.

“Where are we going?”

I grabbed the knob of a door to my left and unlocked it. I let him walk out first, facing a short corridor that also led to the patio. I knew beforehand not a single soul was outside, due to the rain, so it was the perfect spot for our escapism to sin. “You asked if I wanted my first kiss to be under the rain.” I shrugged a shoulder and intertwined my shaking fingers. “I thought a private place would be better.” San gulped down and nodded.

The lightbulb above us illuminated half of our faces. I kept fidgeting with my nails even when my back hit the brick and its temperature ran through my skin. “I’m nervous,” I admitted in a low voice. I hardly felt the blasts of the speaker on my feet.

“Me too.” San, looking at my hands, scratched one side of his neck. “Are you—?”

“I’m okay. Are you still—?”

Now he cut me off by cocooning my trembling limbs with a hand. “Yes.”

“Okay,” I mouthed inaudibly, rather to myself than to him.

“Okay,” San mirrored. He came nearer, and I had all my back fused to the cement. Both of his hands cupped my face. I was jammed staring at the wooden eyes of his when they blinked numerous times and glanced down to my lips. “Okay, then,” he repeated again, a breath away from me.

I had seen in movies how mouths had to be open, so I did. My lips parted slowly for the first time and for him. The last thing I viewed was him closing his eyelids with pleasure.

Kissing was a weird sensation. Or maybe I’d thought that because he went hard on me, as though he indeed had been wanting to taste my mouth and play with my lips all night long. I tried to keep up with his years of experience by moving them and accepting each feeling the moment was granting me.

He broke our kiss when I wasn’t ready to let go of the sensation. I sighed and opened my eyes; his were two thin lines. Barely. “Wait, let’s do it this way,” he commanded in a clear, hot mumble. My legs wobbled, and I felt like newborn Bambi.

However, starting from the next kiss, he had a fire burning inside him. And I was confused how I could've been the one to light it. Because catching my lips again, San shifted our positions. He was breathing loudly and with effort, though it didn’t cut him short of embracing my waist with his ripped arms and raising me from the ground—like I weighed nothing—a second before placing his solid thigh between my legs. As he was taller than me, I ended up being tiptoed, my upper body clenched against him. And in under the span of one second, somehow, my hands grabbed him from the shoulders even though it wasn’t necessary—his grasp kept tight and firm around my shape.

This time, San enjoyed sucking my lower lip, and gave it a tiny bite prior to kissing me with his tongue meandering in, licking and looking for mine. I was sensing everything so much in every corner of my body that, when I chose to make my tongue dance and fight against his, my hips began rocking back and forward on his thigh. The tension was electrifying, violent within my nerves, and it took all my might to not dip my nails on him.

I could’ve died right there, or maybe I did and came back to life immediately. San was devouring me, leaving no room in my senses to think of anything else that weren’t either him and this moment. I followed his lead and separated to fill our lungs with a scent other than ourselves, but it was hard, especially when what happened the next time I inhaled, I was sent berserk.

We were inches apart, inhaling and exhaling with difficulty. My bottom lip was throbbing and numb when I nibbled it while expecting the next inevitable kiss, but San had planned another trajectory. Contrarily to my shrouded thoughts, San set down briefly his lips on my jaw and, just like that, he was facing my neck. His grip around me got tightened, and it was efficient for me to not fall as I was melting down for him. My hips were still rolling against his thigh, aiding the pulsing spot between my legs, this time a bit more steadily. He left wet kisses and its noises downwards until the base of my neck.

The effect that had on me led me to my head falling back, giving him more space if possible, at the deadly feeling. I wish I had grabbed his hair between my fingers and held him closer, but I didn’t. I could barely feel my limbs.

“You smell so damn good,” he had said with his mouth caressing my sensitive skin.

My eyes were shut, trying to understand what he had said with the feather-like sensation of my head. “Thank you,” I answered finally in a murmur. However, now that I think of it, a moan could’ve been a more adequate response, though.

He giggled his way up, and when I reopened my eyes, he was staring down at me, a smirk showing off his cute dimples. The oscillation of our chests was irregular, and my blood pressure was one kiss away from causing a heart attack.

That was when I recognized the sound of the glass door sliding open. And I supposed he also had, because he grabbed my hand and unclicked the door for us. My mind was hazy and my senses numb, so by some means, I turned on the lightbulb of the laundry room above our heads. Both of us leaned on each door to grasp for the last breath we were interrupted from having in the fresh night air.

I glanced at him, he glanced back, and our laughter filled the tiny space we were in.

“I’m sorry if I came out rude,” he said staring at the ceiling. “I thought you wouldn’t like anyone seeing us kissing.”

“Don’t worry. It’s all good.” I smiled at him, but it was a strange one, because my lips were plumber than usual, filled with fluttering static.

He lowered his gaze and stepped forward, to me, licking his lips. And I spotted desire stacking up in his eyes—his wanting to kiss me again. His hands lifted up to cup my face again, and his towering shape bended on me.

But my hand flew to his thorax to stop him. It worked on his marching, but he kept his hands close to my jaw, a concerned expression welled up from his frown to his pursed lips.

“I’m feeling lightheaded and dizzy,” I confessed and he nodded, the creases on his forehead not disappearing though. I sighed, nestled on his warm touch, and finally dared to stroke the growing hairs of his nape. We were still like this a few seconds while waiting for me to regain back any healthy shade of color on my cheeks.

When I focused on him again, I noticed my eyes had been closed as he’d caressed a cheek and a piercing of my ear. One of the corners of my lips raised on its own. “Thank you,” I muttered after accommodating my weight on my two feet. “I’m feeling better.”

“Really? I’m glad. That, uh— That’s good to hear,” he also spoke in his suppressed, husky tone. His hands fell to his sides and widened the space between us. Ironically, I felt as though air had been fisted out of my lungs.

My limbs, not knowing yet what to do with them, crossed over my ribs. A finger with a mind on its own crept to my lips nonetheless, and like I was at the cinema, watching a movie, my brain opted to show me everything that had happened in the span of the last few minutes. It had been easier to relive it since the room we were in was so quiet, and the chants coming from my back were muffled.

I had to rest on the wood of the door to keep on my feet. “And thank you, San.” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could’ve had the chance to swallow them.

He was reclining on the washing machine to my right, his arms tensed for the weight pushing his body straight. His eyes squinted with wonderment. “What for?”

“For making me feel safe. For talking to me this whole time. For being the first guy to ever kiss me.”

“There’s a tint on your voice like we’re breaking up,” he joked.

I shook my head gingerly. “The night’s soon to be over.” I scratched one brow at reminiscing the entire scene once again. “Damn, you’re a good kisser.”

Fuck, did I just say that out loud?

At least I made him bend over, laughing. “Well, thank you. I’m happy you enjoyed yourself. I also did.”

I bit back my lips and beamed at him with a grimace. “I think we should go back. My friends must be looking for me.”

“Sure.” San gazed at me so tenderly I almost begged him to hug me. Almost.

Instead, I opened the door for him and he walked out first. The moment I prepared to bear the rest of the party as though I hadn’t just devoted my first kiss to San, I heard Niki’s voice regarding him. “Have you seen Mora?” she had asked the exact moment I came into her range of view to turn off the light behind me. I caught at most a glimpse of the shape of her brows rising before she said then in a raucous voice, “Oh,” and turned away.

“She knows, right?” San questioned.

“Yup.” I popped the “p” as if it were chewing gum. “She may have an idea.”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do, is there?”

I shrugged a shoulder and sighed. I could bet she had prompted to Cami and told her everything now. “You’re right. Anyways, want another glass of water?”

He nodded and stole my opportunity to fill the red glass by snatching it from my hands and doing it himself. Then, he waited for me to drink my sips and was until I had enough when he emptied it. Damn, I just wanted to be taken care of by him a little more.

The night continued. Music thumped each tile of the floor, voices broke by singing to a high note, laughter joined to the mess created. The last message I received from my brother was two hours ago, at 2:18 a.m. when he sent “Goodnight, Loca” instead of writing “Mora” because he had always liked how they rhymed.

I didn’t enjoy it as much as him, but whatever. I left his message unread.

I left San in the kitchen two times to go pee, and each time I returned, he was waiting for me with our red plastic glass between his teeth and on the phone. The second time I wasn’t running lucky, since he was answering to some friends that had come to the party with him. The clock in the stove read 4:44 when I blinked at it in the middle of my yawn.

“I think it’s time for me to leave,” he said apologetically.

“Really? Why?” I wish I had bitten back the words. I feared my voice had the neediness my insides were trying hard to ignore.

“One of my friends is staggering on the sidewalk and another is throwing up in the bathroom from upstairs. They’re at their limit and I still have to drop them off before I get home.”

“Yeah, sorry. It was a stupid question.” I glared down, fidgeting with my nails.

“It wasn’t, I promise.” He raised my face with a grip on my chin. “Thank you for making me company tonight and allowing me to get to know you. I had a great time.”

Blood rushed to my cheeks. “I did too. And if you want to talk, you know my DM is open.”

Please kiss me again.

“Sure. See you, Mora.” San half-hugged me, his arm embracing my waist, and kissed my cheek.

Please make me yours.

“Night, San.” His perfume made it to my lungs and held it in as much as I could.

Please don’t go yet.

His touch slithered from my torso to my arm and then, my fingerprints on his palm disappeared as soon as our mutual brush finished and I was there, hanging and grasping the crisp air. My arm returned loosely to my side, as though he had stolen part of my energy.

I set free my breathing and didn’t risk a flood of emotions at seeing him leave the house, or at knowing which car was his. I channeled my attention to the songs and the few souls remaining. It was a wonder to me how there were only ten of us left when an hour prior the house was crowded and it looked like it was vomiting humans.

The chilly breeze flew through the rooms, so I grabbed and put on the sweater I had thrown to the sofa when we first arrived.

By the moment I encountered Lily, she was drunk and sad at five a.m. She wanted to sleep, but the rest of the guests—us—weren’t leaving yet. So I opted to help her ease her frustration and fetched Niki and Cami. In no time they gathered up their things and the three kissed Lily goodbye.

“I’m sorry,” she said but Niki waved off her words.

“We understand, girl. Have a good night, sweetie.”

“Sleep tight,” I said, and Cami waved a hand.

As the house Niki and I lived in was near, and the rain had stopped from watering wild flowers, we walked past the houses for two or three minutes until we stopped in front of the door of our garage. The streetlight blinked a few times before steading, just right when Niki unlocked the door.

The city was one hour from dawning and yet, everything was so quiet out there. No wind, no clouds, and a dog barking was hardly heard in the distance. I gave it a quick thought to San and if he had arrived safely by now; however, I knew I had better things to think about—than a guy I might never see again—like how to recollect strength to change into pajamas and wipe off my makeup.

And these only were two of them.

Niki and Cami spoke of the fun they had, and I was more than proud, since they’d been my guests. I was listening to the conversation in parts, for I was coming in and going out of Niki’s room, where we were going to sleep all three. Once I had changed into a new set of pajamas in the bathroom and washed my teeth, I returned to the bedroom to remove my little effort of eyeliner, mascara, shadows, and the smeared lipstick.

“—and when that guy did the step of Anita, I almost joined him on the floor. Just facts,” Cami stated and snapped her fingers twice.

“Fuck! If you’ve had, I also would’ve, bitch! Why didn’t you tell me?” Niki called out. Both of her hands rushed to cover his mouth as she noticed she had screamed.

“That isn’t my fault, ‘kay?” Cami whispered.

“What in the world are you talking about?” I expressed in amusement while taking off my glasses and tapping on one eye the remover cream.

They shared a glance I could catch up with since I wasn’t as sight-depraved as Niki. Their giggles boomed in the room, but they weren’t normal ones—these had evilness in their ring.

“You would’ve seen the public show if you just hadn’t starred your own.” I swore Cami had secret horns matching her hair color.

“Her own private show,” seconded Niki, dancing up and down her brows.

“Y’all don’t even know what happened.” Okay, I admit that was a crappy attempt to defend myself.

“But I saw the two of you coming out of the laundry room, somewhat…buoyant.”

“I have to say, Mora, what the fuck? Why, girl, why in the damn laundry room?”

 I raised my palms briefly. “Nothing happened there! Calm down, geez.”

“Then?” Cami’s honey eyes beamed at me. She had on her pajamas and looked more angelic than before. That chameleon girl. “What happened elsewhere? Because that guy? He had laid his eyes on you the moment he arrived.”

Comprehending her last sentence, all my prior thoughts evaporated. “What?”

Cami stared up at both from the individual air mattress Niki had put for her. “You heard right. He arrived at eleven-ish with some other guys, and left their beers in the fridge, but I think you were in the bathroom helping Lily at that time. However, the first moment I saw you catching his attention, we were in the backyard. He was—”

“Standing at the right, with a bunch of other guys, talking, wasn’t he?” I cut in, faintly remembering someone with a red t-shirt in the middle of a circle composed of darker colors.

“Yeah. When we decided to get inside, I noticed his friends outside encouraging him to do something.”

“Fists and all?” Niki deadpanned.

“Fists and all,” answered Cami back within a sigh. “Instead of encouraging him, it seemed like they were going to kill him before he could even try something with you. But yeah, I saw him walk through the door and, as unnoticeable as a tall guy with a red t-shirt could be, he approached to your side. Not ours; yours. He glanced many times to see if you’d noticed him, and got so relieved when he finally stopped at your side.”

The words had caught up in my throat.

“I am witness to this last part,” Niki said. “So when he said something, it was for you to answer, not us, so we let you take charge of the rest.”

“How come I-I wasn’t aware of this?” San had felt attracted to me…way before we even exchanged names? He had been nervous since the beginning? “You’re not messing with me, are you?”

They shook their heads in sync. “You need to check your glasses, hun.” Niki patted my knee with a chortle stuck in her tongue.

Cami and I rolled our eyes. “It just means you didn’t go to the party looking for guys.”

“Speaking of which, I’m sorry I left you on your own the whole night after— Well, after him.”

“What the fuck are you saying? We’re more than happy you also spent a great night, be it with us or not.” Cami smiled widely.

“And we were together, so it didn’t matter to us much. Don’t worry.” Niki put on a black hoodie. “But what’s done is done. Now spill the tea between you two, bitch.”

I didn’t know where to begin with. I had lived so much with him in the span of a few hours that my brain was still processing everything. “We talked, like a lot. He seemed genuinely interested in my life and dreams and goals, so, after I returned inside from your shitty lie”—I glared at Niki and her muffled laughter came from behind the sheets—“we opened up about ourselves. My mind began to produce images that hadn’t happened…yet. But when we were actually living the moment…it was much better, I swear. He kissed me as though he would die otherwise. With tongue too, which was something totally unexpected.”

“Did you like it?” Niki asked.

“I didn’t not like it, but it is a weird sensation having someone else’s tongue inside your mouth, you know? And it was barely the second time we had, yeah, our lips pressed together, so it’d escalated rather quickly to my liking.”

As I ran out of breath, I had the time to regard their reactions. My eyes lifted from my hands to their agape faces.

“What’d you say?”

“Wait a damn minute.” Niki pressed her mouth in a thin line. “Mora, bitch, how many kisses were there?”

Color dashed to my face and the neck he had also savored. And since I couldn’t bring my voice to pass through the knot in my throat, I signaled them three and four. Not even I recalled when it finished one and started the next.

For the following five minutes I narrated my vague memories. I was tired yet still mesmerized by San. Although I still was having a hard time gulping down what Cami had told us.

I left the girls chatting some more about the party to go to the bathroom, but when I stopped at the door, no sound came from the inside. I entered tiptoeing and lay back on the mattress, reminiscing the night in the ceiling once more, because…why the hell not? I was in my right.

It was early in the morning when my eyelids felt too heavy for me to maintain them open any longer.

After waking up, we cooked pancakes at eleven for breakfast with a cup of coffee to energize our dehydrated bodies. The dishes were placed in the sink, and I had a foolish wish for them to wash themselves. At one we put a movie on the TV in the living room and, although I wasn’t paying much attention, I caught glimpses of some scenes. I had spent mainly my time surfing on Instagram, watching reels to help with the boredom that a Sunday afternoon meant.

That, until a bubble with his name on my screen appeared, and I evoked his promise for a kiss under the rain and when we were outside, nothing had poured.

#kpop boys #kpop imagines #kpop fanfic #ateez #ateez fanfic #choi san #ateez san #halazia #atz #halateez #ateez x reader #ateez x oc #kpop x reader

[abbatoirablaze]

The Nanny, Chapter 2

Word Count:  1.2k

Warnings:  none

4 years later

“BRIANA!”

“UNCLE COUGAR!”

The normally stoic man smiled as the freshly turned nine-year-old attacked his legs, while her four-year-old brother came toddling after her.  While he didn’t really have any family of his own, the Jensens had lovingly taken him in; especially Jake’s kids.  And his heart melted around them.

“ALEX!”

“COOTER!”

Cougar gave Jake a look, and he shrugged, “give him a break…he can’t pronounce his ‘g’ all that well…”

“Have you been working with him on his speech?” Cougar asked, “he’ll be going into kindergarten next year, and you don’t want him going in with a speech impediment…kids are savages.”

“Have you been working with him on his speech?” Jake mock repeated in a lowered voice.  His friend gave him a warning look and Jake smirked, “come on, Cooter…it’s endearing.”

“I’ll show you endearing…”

“Uncle Cougar, did daddy tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Cougar asked softly, still hugging his favorite little person.  She grinned, looking back at her dad, and Cougar had a sinking feeling in his chest, “what did you do, Jensen?”

“Clay and Roque called…”

“Jensen-“

“They’re going to send me off to get cleared next week…” he smiled, proud that they wanted him back on the team, even after four years away from it, “I’ll be off with the losers soon enough.”

Cougar frowned and looked at Briana, “take your brother into your room, sweetheart…daddy and uncle Cougar need to talk.”

Briana looked at her father pointedly, “I told you he’d be mad, daddy.”

“I was going to wait to tell him…”

“Nuh uh,” she said matter of-fact.  She grabbed her little brother’s arm, leading him towards her room, “come on, Alex…Uncle Cougar is gonna yell at daddy again.”

Cougar and Jake watched Briana and Alex, waiting until she’d shut the door to the bedroom.  Then Cougar whipped around, and smacked Jake upside the head, “what the hell is wrong with you, Jensen?”

“Wh-what did I do?” he asked, “what are you talking about?”

“You’re coming back?” he growled, “since when?  Why the hell didn’t you talk to me about this sooner, huh?”

“Clay and Roque called…they’re having difficulty with the techs when you guys go on missions…and no one is working out,” Jake pointed out, “why didn’t you tell me no one was working out on the team.  Clay said Pooch almost got killed last mission.  Do you know how that’d affect his wife?  They just got married, Coug.”

“You should be worrying about you and your kids,” he pointed out, poking the younger man’s chest, “you just lost your fiancé, jackass.”

“Devon died four years ago,” he growled, “and I can’ keep collecting from the government…Devon’s life insurance has been keeping us afloat, but I’m not going to be able to get by on my own much longer.  I need to come back, Coug…”

“That’s what this is about?” he asked, “Jensen, you don’t have anyone that can take care of your kids.  Your sister’s baby daddy bounced after Hannah was born.  And your parents can’t watch the kids while you’re on missions…”

“Steph sai-“

“Don’t you dare pawn your kids off on your little sister…”

“I was going to say,” Jake said quickly, getting back to his original point, “Stephanie reminded me about how after Dev passed you offered to get me a nanny…to help with the kids.”

Cougar raised his brow, “you said you didn’t want one…”

“I don’t…but if I do go back, I need someone that the kids are comfortable with,” he admitted, biting his bottom lip, “I-I can’t hire her….or him…or whatever they are…because I’ll reject anyone that applies…but I need you and Stephanie to hire them….I need you to pick someone out…so that when Clay does pass me on and I come back, I know that Briana and Alex are okay.”

Cougar smirked, “you want me to test drive some nannies for you, huh?”

“No…no.  Not like that,” Jake responded quickly, shaking his head at his sniper friend, “I-that’s why Steph will be there too…so you don’t hook up with every applicant.”

“You’re no fun, Jensen.” Cougar laughed, shaking his head at the young, single father. 

The second you stepped into Stephanie’s living room, both she and Cougar knew that you were the one.  You were a sweet, young thing, just barely nineteen, and into your first year of college.  You wanted to be a nurse. 

You were kind. 

And you loved children. 

You were from a big family and had gotten most of your experience as the oldest of five, with your youngest sibling just a year older than Briana. 

And they hired you on the spot. 

They didn’t need to do a second-round type of interview.  They knew that you would be the one to keep not only the kids, but Jake afloat, even if he didn’t realize how much he needed it. 

Cougar and Stephanie had sold you on the position.  You would be a live-in nanny for nine-year-old Briana and four-year-old Alex.  Two rambunctious little kids who had a father that worked special missions for the government and was part of a special forces group.  He was their intelligence officer. 

You had been politely informed that his ex-fiance had passed from cancer, and she died shortly after Alex’s birth.  You had expected to see a broken, desperate man in his early forties, especially after finding out that his fiancé was around that age when you had taken the moment to look her up. But no matter how hard you looked, you couldn’t find any information on Jake Jensen.  It was like he didn’t exist. 

So, you were shocked when just two days later, you packed your belongings into Stephanie’s car, and she drove you to a quaint little suburban home.  Your breath caught in your throat, and you felt a blush rising to your cheeks.

“I know,” Stephanie laughed, “it’s a really beautiful house.  Devon was a model…she has the nicest house in the whole neighborhood…”

“Y-yeah…beautiful,” she muttered softly, taking in every feature.  Only, she wasn’t looking at the house.  She was looking at the gorgeous man in the front yard.  He was muscular and tall and had a sweet sort of look to himself.  She felt her cheeks heating up even more as she wondered about the cute guy, playing with the kids in the front yard.  She’d barely noticed the engine turn off, and that Stephanie was looking at her expectantly.  Her eyes locked with the cute guy, and he gave a nervous wave to the pair in the car, “s-so the kids?’

“Surprised Jake let them out,” she admitted with a laugh as the little girl attacked the man’s legs.  His concentration broke from the women as he looked back at her, and she ran off, tugging the little boy with her, “come on…he must be having a good day today.  I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

“Yeah…”

Stephanie was quick to get out of the car, and you followed suit, leaving your bags in the back seat.  The man a little older than you smiled a bit more as he wrapped his arms around Stephanie, “good to see you…brought a friend over, Steph?”

“Actually…this is your new nanny, Jake…” Stephanie smiled, already sensing the electricity between the pair, “Jake, meet (Y/N)…(Y/N), this is my brother, Jake…and his two kids.  Briana and Alex.”

“Jake…” you whimpered, your voice betraying you.  You couldn’t believe that the gorgeous man was your employer.

“(Y/N.)”

Chapter 3

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @sebsgirl71749, @patzammit, @elbell20-blog

#the nanny #soft jake jensen #jake jensen #dilf jake jensen #chris evans characters #the losers movie #the losers fanfiction #the losers (2010)

[showerbong]

i could eat tuna out of the can every single day if it wasn't for the mercury. seriously I love it you don't have to get out any tupperware and you can recycle the can when you're done. so you can feel like a GOOD PERSON doing GOOD in the world even though you're like gobbling down essentially cat food over the saucencrusted stove in your slovenly sweatpants in your uncared for apartment that you pay way too much fucking money for (but you don't really have the upfront cash that it would take to like move and also you would rather be in credit card debt than live with a roommate at this point). i have discovered recently that shredded slow cooked chicken breast is a nice alternative to exceeding your mercury allotment, though it does, rather unfortunately, require Tupperware. I usually just pluck little pinches of chicken shreds right out of the container in the fridge and drop it in my mouth like grated cheddar.

i am doing exactly this when you call. i feel like kendall jenner the week before the victorias secret fashion show, where she only eats like boiled chicken breast and cries a lot. "cccheay" I say. "what" you say. "sorry im just chewing." the chicken is stringy and kind of styrofoamy. it's getting packed down into a tacky fibrous ball into one of my back molars. youre just talking about your day and i want to pay attention, i do, but i just keep watching this insta reel montage of like 30 peoples reactions to this girl i VAGUELY knew from boston's pregnancy announcement. the reel is just like unrelenting clip after clip after clip of her like having drinks with another couple and passing them an "auntie & uncle" keychain or like her sitting on a couch with a couple of girls who open a card and start crying or her watching her father unroll a worlds best grandpa T shirt. all of the clips are overlayed with this insane song called moments to memories and there's no original audio, just exceedingly ordinary absolute amazement on each of their faces. i guess her husband like secretly filmed them all.

i guess i bring all this up because i have this girls desk, which like isnt that weird but i can't stop thinking about it. im staring at it right now, the desk, as im eating these dry chicken shreds with my fingers and you are on the phone talking about your day. all of the books i was supposed to read but didn't are sitting on top of this pregnant girls ikea desk that's in my living room but also in my bedroom since i live in a studio, and there's only one working hinge left on the little desk cabinet and i think the inside is stuffed with old magazines, but the thought of opening it to even see what's in there makes me nauseous. this girl was dating the roommate of my ex, which is how I met her, back when I was still dating my ex. and then when she and her bf, my exes roommate, you get it- so when they moved in together she had to get rid of all her like college era slovenly ikea furniture so she gave it to me for free. i think my boyfriend and i screamed at each other when we got it stuck at an angle in the bend of the staircase trying to lug it up to my 3rd floor apartment.

anyway the girl was nice but incredibly ordinary and just kind of unexciting. she asked me what highlighter i used no less than 6 times. for whatever reason i am currently convinced that she despises me and has told everyone we ever mutually knew that im an evil lying cunt with weird pussy lips. even though in reality i don't think she even remembers me, which infuriates me even more, so i like her post and then go through her profile and like the one before just so she's reminded that I exist.

i also cannot for the life of me remember if she's adopted or not, idk there was something weird at one point she had said about her parents, but this was in the middle of covid when i knew her so it could also have been that her parents are just old. it was either really old or adopted. so I find her wedding photos on her page and im just zooming in and out with my sticky chickeny fingers comparing her nose to her "dad's" nose and idk for the life of me i can't figure it out

[nothing0fnothing]

My parents always used to scream if I was being too loud/energetic and I was never allowed to play outside so I became a very still quiet child. This confounded with our household "eat everything on your plate" culture and I ended up being a problem because I was starting to gain weight. My mom's response to this was to teach me to calorie restrict, punish me for being fat, make clothes shopping a horrible experience for me by having me try on "normal" size clothes then making me look in the mirror and forcing me to work out. Normally 7 year olds don't need to work out because they play outside and run around the house, but my mom was too lazy to do any of that with me, so she just stood at the bottom of the stairs making me run up and down them over and over again.Like, we were middle class. She could have bought me a bike, she could have taken me swimming, she could have enrolled me into a sport. We had the money to do all that. But apparently the stairs was a better solution. When I was 12 and getting more self conscious about my weight than I ever had been before, the family bought a wii with the wii fit game and accessories. I genuinely loved it, I'd play tennis against anyone I was so fucking good. Till my mom and her husband decided to start watching me and laughing. I was a good sport about it the first few times, then I started to made it clear I wasn't happy about it. Then I threw the remote on the floor and never played again. When I was 14 I got really into fitness training. I was on a long distance team and I was learning to challenge myself and better myself every day. I was at the gym 3 times a week. For the first time I was putting my health rather than my weight first. Then my mom put me on a calorie defect diet. 800 calories a day but I was burning that much at the gym easily. I started getting sick and weak. My coach noticed and told my mom to stop, gave me nutrition advice but by that point I didn't care about my health anymore, because my mom was showing me with kindness.I didn't care that at track I was coming in slower and slower. I didn't even care when I started getting DNF next to my time. Did not finish. Even at my biggest and most unfit I'd always managed to finish. Now I was peaky pale by the end of practise. I always swore to my team I didn't faint, I tripped I've been so dozy lately, I don't think that my coach ever believed me. Eventually it was enough of a safeguarding issue she couldn't have me on the team anymore in good conscious. I pretended I didn't care but it was after that the self harm peaked up again. The diet bonding with my mom didn't last long, she fell off the diet I kept going now with rules so twisted from the original they weren't even recognisable. I was at my lowest weight but I still wasn't my goal size. My stepdad started making weird comments about my body and how I should "just keep going till you're underweight. Then you'll have a stone to play with."I wasn't really living by that point. My friends were other 15 year olds and most 15 year olds drink milkshakes and eat popcorn and pizza and run through malls and try on clothes and I just... couldn't.

#toxic parents #vent post #toxic mom #raised by narcissists #narcissistic abuse #parental abuse #childhood trauma #dysfunctional family #complex trauma #dysfunctional household #just cptsd things #living with cptsd #cptsd recovery #tw disordered eating #disordered eating thoughts #tw eating issues #eating disoder trigger warning #disordered eating mention

[the-rice-farm]

Hardships: Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Waylen

“Get up.” 

Some bloody children are just so lazy sometimes. I sighed in annoyance. “Mina, if you don’t get up in the next two seconds then we’re leaving and moving on the trail without you.” 

“Waylen, dear, she’s just four.”

Four is old enough to know that we’re not lying around waiting to be killed. She got up and rubbed her eyes. We all seem to have dark bags sagging underneath our eyes-- even the younger ones. Mina is the youngest of them all, and hers are starting to form. Everyone’s tried to make sure she gets more sleep than the rest of us, but it’s not possible when all of us have to work in some way. It’s either that or getting kicked out. 

My mother stood next to me with a tired smile on her face. “Don’t be so strict on her, Waylen.” 

“She’ll be thanking me when she doesn’t get left behind.”

After Mina folded up the rags she’d been sleeping with, I hoisted her up in my arms and gave her a banana to eat. Instead, she pulled at my necklace and I quickly swatted her hand away. 

“I already told you, I’ll make you one once we get our hands on some thread.”

“Will it have a bead like yours?” 

I sharply inhaled and shook my head. “No, I’ll find something else. Now eat the fruit-- you’re already scrawny enough.” I doubted she was past 3 feet and 6 inches. There were also certain reasons I refused to make her a necklace like mine or even let her touch it. I never let anyone touch it. Not even Mother. I didn’t let go of it since the night the raids started again. 

Or to rephrase it, the night May died. 

I’d sulked for weeks, refusing to accept the fact that May was dead. I had hallucinations and insisted that she was in front of me and next to me when I slept. When I realized that she was gone for good, I just sat in the corner and stared at her necklace in my hands every night. 

Mother tried to take it once, but I lashed out at her and clasped it around my neck. It didn’t dangle, so it made work easy. It clung and took the shape of my neck just like it did to May’s. 

Mina helped me pack away things while telling me about her dream. Today’s story was… different. 

“I saw a girl. She was wearing the same necklace as yours! That’s why-”

“Shut up. Shut up right now.”

Mina looked at her feet and didn’t say anything more. 

~~~

A few hours later, we stopped and took a break near a creek. I watched as my Mother lifted heavy metal cans of water onto her waist to fill the canteens. Droplets of water fell from the sky and I looked at fish weave their way through the rocks. I reached for a long stick and skewered it through one of them. Dmitri clapped me on the back and held the slimy bass in his hands. 

“Show-off much? And what’s with the dim face? Mina said you were sad. You’re so boring, Way.”

“I told you not to call me that. Just put the damn thing away before it leaves its stench on you.” 

Dmitri was a few years older than me and used to be a senior in my school before the wars. He always told me pointless stories at night that he made up when we were trying to sleep. It was his original dream to become a poet. His wealthy parents didn’t approve. That doesn’t matter anymore. They traveled to the States and left him. 

“Waylen?” I lifted my head and saw Mina standing on the slippery rocks with a piece of jam-spread bread in her hands. 

“It’s a little stale…but it’s still food.” 

She must feel upset about her dream.

I took it and had Mina sit in my lap while I shredded pieces of it for both of us. I nudged Kali, who was sitting next to me, and she happily took the bread. I heard the rough scratches of her remaining graphite lead against her sketchbook. 

The only thing I know about Kali is that we found her at an orphanage. One that was practically burnt to the ground. All she ever does is draw or daydream. Anything that doesn’t help or contribute to our effort. She’ll be forced to leave soon by Kian. Kian’s already kicked out plenty of people.

I don’t really care, but I hope she’s aware of what will happen if she doesn’t detach herself from that stupid sketchbook.

#rice writer #cringy writ #hardships #have some rice

[minimoefoe]

I finished watching season one of supernatural for the first time so here’s some thoughts:

- dean > sam

- I love when dean calls sam sammy

- ‘dean and sam’ doesn't flow at all so like why did their parents name them that like imagine sam was born and his parents were testing names they would’ve been like ‘hm how about sam’ and then went 'dean and sam' to test how they sounded together and surely woulda realised it doesn't flow AT ALL idk the writers fumbled that where’s the realism

- dean was kinda a whore early on and it was kinda awkward like damn why is he kissing like every woman they meet

- I spent the whole season yearning for more jdm so the last couple eps were great for me

- the age gap between jensen ackles and jdm is comical, john had dean at about 10 years old I fear

- I like the monster of the week thing (obviously, dw is my fave show) but 22 eps of it was kinda a lot idk, I hope the whole show isn’t like that. but also I think part of what I didn’t like was a vibe thing and not necessarily the monster of the week thing and I think/am hoping that the vibe of the show will change over time and s1 is just Like That bc it’s old idk

- I low-key don’t remember all the eps that well but imma say my least faves were bugs bc who cares about bugs and provenance bc i don’t remember a single thing about it and i literally watched it yesterday

- and I’m gonna say my faves were the last couple eps bc jdm my beloved and also bloody mary, faith and shadow but don’t hold me to that bc it’s possible I liked other eps more but just don’t remember them lmao

- I gave this season 4 out of 5 stars

- originally I was gonna give it 3.5 bc I got into a bit of a slog in the middle but idk, the last couple eps brought me back

#supernatural #watching supernatural #I wasn’t keeping notes as I was watching #might do that a bit more as I carry on #bc I feel like my first time watching spn is something that should be documented as much as possible yknow like I need to get my reaction #to stuff idfk #anyways

[regarding-stories]

Roundup of the backlog...

I realized I watched more stuff than I even can keep up with writing about. So let's do a speedrun...

given ("Can't Say Goodbye, I'm Still Drifting With Your Echoes")

So, I got into this one because it was about musicians and being in a band. It also seems to be a boy-on-boy love story... as such, I don't mind. The characters are all drawing me into the story. And as a musician I can't resist the loving attention to detail - as an aspiring guitarist you could learn some things from this show. I certainly didn't know more than this as a teenager myself...

I'm just a few episodes in, and I like what I see.

TONIKAWA: Over The Moon For You

An unlikely beginning - a boy promises a girl to marry her. Once he's of age, she shows up on his doorstep, ready to go. From this premise unfolds an incredibly cute story of two people figuring out life and romance together. She's probably a legendary character from a Japanese story, too. These blushing newlyweds are simply adorable.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro

A loner artist second year runs into a gaggle of trendy first year girls - and one just won't leave him alone. I gave it a chance because I was curious, and I don't regret it. Frankly, what happens in the first episodes would probably count as bullying, but very soon it becomes clear that there is something between especially these two characters, and Nagatori-san is not nearly as cool or experienced as she wants her Senpai to believe. Over time he also becomes friends with the whole gaggle. The show is changing from funny to cringe to adorably cute constantly. It's certainly entertaining.

My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999

Girls gets dumped for another girl, gets drunk, runs into young hot dude (who doesn't say much) and realizes he's the popular streamer her ex adores. Ends up passing out on his bed, too. She joins the MMO where he hangs out with his friends. Initially a very one-sided crush, but as the cast expands it becomes a rather chill and nice story about misunderstandings and friendship, plus a slow-burn romance. Airs on Crunchyroll once a week - and I find I look forward to every episode.

Tomo-chan Is a Girl!

Oh, I'm definitely sold on this one! Tomo is a high school girl that confesses to her childhood friend, except he doesn't seem to understand and only see her as his best friend. Over time both cast and backstory expand so by the end of the series you will understand why things ended up this way. Very satisfying, doesn't overstay its welcome, supposedly better paced than the original web manga. Wraps up in a single season.

First show where I recognized a Japanese voice actress again. The boyish Tomo has the same one as the not-very-girlish Anzu from Romantic Killer. Just listen when she is surprised or weirded out - you can't miss it.

Skip and Loafer

Very nice coming-of-age story, airs weekly. Girl from remote rural community joins Tokyo high school to realize her ambitious plan to become a public servant. Ends up being friends with laid-back guy whom all girls adore. Frankly the first episode is some of the best-paced funny stuff I've ever seen. The show then grows its cast organically and settles into high school life, plus it's a love story, of course, but not in a hurry.

Waiting for the next episode is hard...

To Every You I've Loved Before

Without knowing I watched a sequel! A very satisfying story on its own, this one is about parallel worlds and how we constantly skip between them. A boy is the son of the guy who's researching how choices create parallel worlds, and the first major branch in his life is when his parents divorce. Continuously throughout his life he is confronted with the impact of his choices as his life unfolds together with a girl that he ends up marrying and growing old with.

A story about love, loss, choices, grief, happiness... Very satisfying, told at the right pace, always engaging, and not afraid to go in a new direction even in its last half hour.

As I said - the story of a boy who makes a choice. But guess what? There's another movie, "To me, the one who loved you". Telling the story of the same boy, but making the other choice. I haven't watched it yet. Maybe I have spoilered myself by doing this in the wrong order. But even if only this movie existed, I would have been very happy with it. Fun detail: It may be sixty years into the future with pocket watches that measure parallel universe shifts and holograms everywhere, but apparently people still do the thing where they wear "belly pouches" diagonally over their chest. I guess they didn't make up a "future look" for all the filler pedestrians...

Alya sometimes hides her feelings in Russian

This was a chance buy - it's a light novel series. High schooler sits next to very pretty "solitary princess" - the platinum blonde Alya who's half-Russian. And sometimes she says the most outrageous things to him, thinking he does not understand - yet he does.

First novel was rather good, but then you can tell the author tries to drag it out. Protagonist ends up knowing all the most pretty and popular girls in his elite academy... yawn. Still, the story is at times rather charming and funny. Too bad it tries to keep the cat in the bag - it didn't have enough substance for what we're getting. Stuffed to the hilt with light novel tropes... she's probably secretly his childhood love he got separated from and learned Russian for in the first place, his sister has the hots for him (they grew up separate after some family fallout), student council this and that, let's obsess about girl's exact bust size, hints of harem, the works... and the artwork does not do a good job of keeping some of the girls apart except for the title heroine. Also, outrageously dumb hypnosis scene?

Still, the author can write and largely delivers an entertaining story with that nice little twist. I started disliking the protagonist because of his habit to prank Alya... not charming. Usually he's a very upright and forthright guy, and completely oblivious of his feelings for Alya.

Not exactly recommended, but readable.

#my love story with yamada kun at lv999 #don't toy with me miss nagatoro #tonikawa #given #anime series #anime movie #tomo chan is a girl! #romantic anime #skip and loafer #to every you I've loved before #to me #the one who loved you #Alya sometimes hides her feelings in Russian

[mi5016tomberry]

Project Planning

These are my notes from the first few lectures familiarising myself with each component.

I started to air out a few ideas I had for the project, this semester is focusing heavily on 3D work so I wanted to figure out which direction I could go as to not neglect 2D animation or other areas that weren't a key focus this semester like background art, writing, etc...

In this lecture I had a better idea of what each component could look like with a focus on these prompts: 'How to pitch a Show?' and 'Frame x Frame VS Rigging in 2D animation.' My goal above all with this degree is to make something, make something I have a passion for and I always imagined this in the form of an animated TV show when I was young and as a teen I also imagined making something for YouTube. I'll only figure out which direction works best for me when I actually start making cartoons of my own. I decided to look into pitching a show as a basis of my essay to help me out in future attempts at towards this goal.

Here's where I properly started the planning of the structure of the essay and as of this moment I hadn't decided whether or not to make this into a video or written essay.

This was the first video I found on the topic which just so happened to be made by one of the Youtubers I watched when I was much younger and it gave me a really good starting insight into the topic especially in the sense of what would be presented during the pitch. It's a simple video but it comes from a place of experience as he now has a show on Netflix called 'Oddballs' and this video gives an overview of his experience trying to get his "big break" with one of the big streaming platforms.

The two videos above gave me a really good insight into the world of pitching from an experienced perspective. The first is a Q&A with various board executives from different companies in the industry and highlights the unique requirements of each publisher, its interesting to see how these differ with one another as they each favour a specific type of show that best suits their demographic. The second video is an insightful guide to understanding your own show, it gives a list of 9 questions (which I used in my plan) of the sorts of things you need to know about your show so that you truly understand what it is that you're making:

What is the great world your show is set in?

What is the theme of your show?

What are you passionate about?

What do you believe in?

Why watch every week?

What are the parents of your show?

What's the unsolvable question for the hero?

What's the core wound of the hero?

Asking yourself these questions could iron out the kinks of your idea and lead to a better pitch.

I was going to use the questions above as the foundation to create a video essay like the one above using the questions as a means of checking things off before the pitch.

I also found this Adult Swim livestream with short pitches from prospective showrunners each putting forward their own ideas to producers at Adult Swim. It was great to see this sort of thing because it gives examples good and bad hinting at what encourages a producer to listen (original spin on existing type of show, engaging characters) and what can put them off from the get go (poor planning, not enough content to keep viewers coming back for more).

I've done a lot of research into the options available when trying to publish a show and I started to plan out a script for the video essay, wanting to make something inspired by a Youtuber called the Internet Historian but after speaking with Paul, it seems like people tend to focus too much on making an entertaining/funny video at the detriment of critical analysis and research. I can see myself spending too much time on the video essay and losing track of the brief so I've decided to stick to a written essay and I will do my best to include a good amount of research and referencing.

I found this book (Animation Writing and Development - Jean Ann Wright) on the University library database which I am going to use for quotations following the video above for the Harvard Referencing format so that I make sure to include my research into the essay as well as the blog.

I also found these articles as potential references for the essay as they are sometimes considered for valuable sources than Youtube videos for referencing but I will have to see how they fit with the rest of the essay.

On top of this research, I am figuring out how to embed an interview with one of the visiting speakers called Theo W. Scott - he's an independent award-winning filmmaker and past alumni of Northumbria. His experience figuring out how to finance his work, entering film festivals and creating something of his own will be really interesting to learn more about on top of what I learnt during the visit on Monday.

#Youtube

[phynoma]

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN

As a countdown to Halloween, I'm sharing the original statements I wrote for the Consuming AU! (<<click for ao3 link) The statements function as horror shorts that work on their own

Statement 4: The Collector

CW: lab tests using foetal tissue, family pressure, transmasc pregnancy scare, unwanted pregnancy, distortion-typical gaslighting, familial trauma, pseudocyesis with supernatural elements, dysphoria

Character Notes:

Kevin Park is transmasculine and nonbinary. He uses he/it pronouns. His voice starts out nervous and a bit fussy, not particularly high class. When he's alone with prey, his voice grows deeper and more full, with a background like a cape whipping/unfurling–a sort of Dracula-esque darkness that it can reveal at will. Think stingrays, hypnotising cuttlefish, cloaked figures, Audrey 2

KEVIN

I suppose you should know that I never wanted children.

Even as a young child, I found the idea of playing "house" abhorrent. I enjoyed being the only child in my family, doted upon by my parents, and I had no inclination to gift that devotion to anyone else.

By all accounts, I was a dutiful child. My mother, especially, had great hopes to see me as an independent business woman in some kind of scientific field– engineering, or surgery, or tech– who would nonetheless settle down with another independently successful man and start a family. I succeeded only on two counts: I became a biologist, and I was successful.

If I had hoped that these examples of success would be enough for her to overlook my notable failures– namely, that I forsook being her daughter, and showed no interest in a family of my own– I was disappointed. The latter was worse, in her eyes, than the former. I think she would have approached my transition with a sort of grudging acceptance if I had at least settled down with a partner with whom I could produce her grandchildren.

Instead, I did the next best thing: I began working in a lab that researched genetic anomalies in foetuses. It gave me enough of an excuse to combat her questions over family dinners about why I didn't want children, when saying "I simply don't want them" wasn't enough.

At first, the conversations were few and far between. She might ask me if I’d started seeing anyone, and I’d find out one of her friends had become a grandmother. Or, she’d make a subtle comment after seeing a celebrity pregnancy announcement.

As I entered my early thirties, however, the conversations became more frequent and more pointed. My father stayed out of the ensuing arguments, but I could see the reproach in his eyes. I doubt he cared about my choices, except that I was upsetting my mother.

I began avoiding both of my parents when I could. I'll remind you that I was an only child, and uncommonly close with my parents. Since college I had made a number of acquaintances but no real friends, and I still rented a room in my parents' terrace house. I was somewhat isolated, but content that way. I went to work, did my tests, got an occasional drink with my coworkers, picked up groceries, and went home. This repeated every day, week after week, without change.

But I was excited to be in the lab. I was at the Ferral Biological Research Institute at the time, in their immunology department. We used foetal tissue, you know, donated, to grow viruses and test vaccines.

On a day like any other– maybe I was a bit tired from a late night, but nothing unusual– I found myself just… staring into my petri dish. I looked at this little sliver of tissue that wasn't anything, just some cells, and knew that my mother wanted me to be a living incubator for this sort of thing. I mean, it's nothing like what people plastered all over their posters when they picketed outside the lab. I stared, and stared, and for a moment it seemed like all the saturation left the room and swirled down into that dish.

I stood over it in my PPE, frozen, my hand locked in place. I watched the thing shiver, and expand. Multiply. It still was nothing, a piece of tissue, but it was growing. I felt like it was…reaching for me. Like it wanted to slither inside of me, to turn my temperature to its liking, to bite its way into my flesh and suck its sustenance, its substance, from me.

And then… it was gone. Just gone. I blinked, and I didn’t have a dish, or a pipette, or anything. It was like I’d walked to my table and just… hadn’t prepared anything. I looked for it, of course. But it was gone. Thought I was going mad, but, well. Let’s just say I blamed it on insomnia and moved on. Unnerved, yes. But by the time I got home that night, I was mostly concerned with avoiding my parents and having a peaceful night in.

It's important to note that I didn't go out at all between the weeks of October 9th and 25th–but it was six weeks after that that my symptoms began.

It was subtle, at first. Stomachache, loss of appetite. Chills. I thought, (mirthless laugh) for a while, that I was coming down with the flu. Stayed away from the lab; and when my symptoms cleared up enough not to be a danger to our work, went back.

When the dizzy spells started, I thought it might be overwork, or side effects from the new dosage of T I was trialling. I checked in with my GP, but my bloodwork came back fine.

I started to see things, from the corner of my eye. Faces. They were gaunt and hungry, and their eyes were the dull grey colour of hospital curtains. Women started to come up to me in grocery stores. They’d take my hands, or put their hand on my shoulder, and they would just…look at me knowingly, pityingly, and then simply walk away again. The sound of babies crying started to echo in my head like a siren– I went back to my GP for that, thinking I had tinnitus.

My ankles swelled until I was hobbling. I had to put in a request at the lab for a chair so I could continue my work. My coworkers, when we went out, stopped ordering drinks for me. When I asked why, they didn’t seem to know. I became so ill in the afternoons that I went back to my GP again, and for the first time I looked at the box marked Are you pregnant? and I wondered.

But of course I wasn’t. I couldn’t be. I had never been with anyone for it to be medically possible. I’d had a girlfriend, for a bit, but it hadn’t gone anywhere and we’d broken up months back. But I felt this weight inside of me, something wrong, and I thought of the wriggling thing I’d seen in my petri dish, and I bought a test.

It was negative, of course it was negative. But I started testing weekly after that. Then daily.

A woman with a child in each arm came up to me while I was smoking in the park and told me “congratulations.” I gained weight. Every day I stared at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth– at the stubble that I couldn’t get to grow into an even beard, the circles under my eyes– and I wondered what people were seeing when they looked at me.

Months went by. The illness never went away. I began craving odd things, nonsensical things. Marmite on pickles. Parsnips dipped in ice cream. My lab notes. The condensation on the inside of my coworker’s safety goggles when they hadn’t affixed them properly.

One day, I walked in on my mother knitting a baby onesie. It was pink on one side and blue on the other. I asked her who it was for, and she just giggled to herself and started singing an old nursery rhyme. Her face was pale, and gaunt.

I went to specialists, but nothing could explain the weight gain, or the sleeplessness, or the dizzy spells, or the cravings. Nothing could explain the way I felt trapped, more and more, inside a body which had only recently begun to feel like home. Hormonal adjustments, sleep studies. Nothing worked.

The pregnancy tests I was now taking daily didn’t have lines. Instead, they formed twisting, pink patterns that hurt my head to look at and made the dizziness worse. I kept taking them.

At work, things were tense. I kept to myself even more than I had before, but there were anxious rumours going around. Samples were disappearing. The security cameras didn’t show anyone breaking in, which meant it was someone inside the lab. But there was no evidence of anyone bringing samples out, either. If the culprit wasn’t found, our funding could be cut, and a costly investigation launched.

In the unisex bathroom, on breaks, I began methodically tearing toilet paper into one cm strips and eating it as my lunch.

My skin felt too tight, most days. I’d lost all the weight I’d gained, then gained it back. People still came up to me in the market, with their unasked for and unwarranted touches, their gentle, knowing concern. I discovered that if I smiled at them, their bodies would seem to lock in place, like mine had at the lab. It was easy enough to move them out of the way and continue on with my business.

My mother unravelled the knitted onesie and re-knitted it half a dozen times. She never moved from her chair, now. The fibres of baby-soft cotton were stained the blood of her rope-burned and blistered fingers. My father sat in his place at the head of the kitchen table and watched me come in and out of the house with dull eyes.

“I’m proud of you, son,” he’d say if I’d approached with the day’s groceries. His gaze never left my left shoulder. He’d nod and repeat his phrase, his eyes bloodshot. “You’re making your old man proud. I’m proud of you, son.”

Seven and a half months after I started noticing my symptoms, everyone was fired from the Ferral Biological Research Institute, pending investigation. In one of the supply closets, they’d found every single one of the missing samples from the lab. There was never an official report, but we heard the rumours.

The supply closet had been one that had been rarely accessed, and no one could remember going there in the last nine months. The shelves were all arranged with the stolen samples in test tubes. They were meticulously labelled, named and dated but the names were things like “ego death” and “cassandra” and “haphephobia,” and the dates were the birthdates of every employee in the building.

There were hundreds. In each tube was a tiny, doll-sized piece of a human person–a heart, a minuscule hand and forearm, a liver, a clump of hair–impossibly crafted of human tissue. The more you looked at them, the more you doubted your first assessment of the contents; and yet, the more you became certain that they were alive. Waiting. Hungry for a host. Waiting to slip inside a perfect incubator and spawn and hundred thousand more tiny, maddening lies.

My symptoms disappeared shortly after I began working at Lars Grisham Labs. Some of their samples go missing, on occasion. But more often than not, I prefer live subjects, now. And I’m always looking for new places to store my collections.

ARCHIVIST

…Statement ends.

[Breathes steadily for a few moments]

ARCHIVIST (CONT.)

(soft) Thank you.

***

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