#it was a pretty big hit on my finances and i was stressed. she obviously didn't offer more than empty apologies (that'd help nobody but her)

[spikesbimbo]

Mood Swings

Summary: Daddy’s little girl always gets what she wants < 3

Pairing: Nanami Kento x reader

Tags: babymaking ; ) neglected reader, daddy kink, size kink, hurt/ comfort

wc: 2.3k 

 a/n: this was very self indulgent, just like all my other works

this is a reupload from my old blog jaded--enigma

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Closing the door behind you, feet dragging against the floor as you came home from a bad day at work, eyes glossy and red. Immediately going to your finance’s office, wanting him to coddle you and tell you everything would be alright, as he was great at. One of the reasons you admired him so much, being his biggest fan.

Opening the door to see him writing something on his papers, his blazer on the floor, only wearing his white button-down shirt fitting him perfectly. 

His arms barely fit the tight material as your eyes scrolled down to his glasses sitting on the table next to his hands, so pretty and big, instantly getting you worked up, even though that was the reason you came here. Wanting your daddy to make it all better.

Walking up to him making your way in his lap, sittin pretty. Mumbling out a “ken”, resting your head on his shoulder while gently kissing his neck. 

“Not now baby.” he said, gently moving his head away from yours before you could even wrap your arms around him, so why did that make you fall apart? Why were you so sensitive? Why were there tears forming in your eyes?

You gave him a fake soft smile pushing the tears back, saying “okay.” and hopped off of his lap, already missing his touch as you walked out of the room, feet still dragging as you took one last peek at him before you shut the door and started walking towards your own room, knowing he would work till late night, as always.

He was obviously stressed so you understood that he wanted to be alone, but you felt so burdensome, annoyingly needy, as you finally made it to your room. Laying on the bed that you two slept on, hugging the fluffy sheets.

Trying to get your mind off of it, you changed into your baby blue silk nightgown, finding it in your closet full of clothes he bought you. So much that you started using the guest room for extra storage for your shoes.

It fell just over your knees, the straps dainty as a pin, flowing as you walked towards your bed again, dimming the lights on the way.

Dirty thoughts getting to you, remembering that you had to wash them two days ago from him making a mess out of you after coming home from work, taking it out on you. Now covering your face with your hands, pain spreading throughout your body as you tried to subdue it, telling yourself you could wait… but you couldn’t.

Your legs spread open, no panties or bra on, just the gown. Shoving your fingers into your cunt, so wet and needy, making a mess but getting yourself nowhere. Crying softly, the last thing you want to do is make your daddy mad at you.

Fat tears falling from just wanting an ounce of his attention, so needy, so embarrassed; embarrassed over the fact that you couldn't even touch your clit right without getting tired. 

Embarrassed that he could get you off better than yourself, the fact that you were never dry around him; the fact that he had you this spoiled to the point of him doing everything for you made your heart break and flutter at the same time.

He loves how appreciated you made him feel, making him feel like you couldn't do anything without him. He loves to take care of you because he doesn't want to see you let go of your youth, in a way living his life through you. Not wanting to rush to ‘grow up’ like he had to,  you made him feel like he was living his life with no regrets.

Your fingers were so small in comparison to his, thinking about how just one would fill you up, and him simply curling it inside you would make you cum, so responsive to his touch. Trying your best to feel the feel same as his. 

You raised your legs slightly in the air, trying to reach deeper like he did. It somewhat working as you were now letting out held back moans along with “daddy and ken” falling there too, or maybe it was from the lewdness of it all, your messy little pussy all wet thinking ‘bout daddy and his fat cock, if only he knew.

You were so lost in your own world you didn't even hear the door open. He was met with your sticky tears falling down your pretty face as you struggled trying to get yourself off. His composed nature leaving him freezing for once in his life.

You finally gave your self a break, sobbing louder as you couldn't even feel anything looking up to wipe your tears with both hands, finally getting them dry enough to see as turned your head, shaking in place seeing your future husband stand in the doorway.

“K-ken” you startledly whispered loud enough for him to hear while he was making his way to you, loosening his tie, his stoic face staying the same. He got on the bed, hovering over you, his tie and shirt lying somewhere on the floor as he inched closer to you, his nose almost touching yours.

“You know I love you right? He said, taking your left hand into his, grabbing the diamond ring on your finger, stroking it with his finger as it gleamed in the moonlight. You looking at his sliver one in return, too shy to face him after what just happened.

“y-yes” you wept locking eyes with him, your vision being blurry but still seeing his handsome face above you “I know it's my fault daddy. M-m’sorry” 

“Shh, baby it's never your fault. Daddys sorry, he didn't know how needy you were, cmere.” he cooed bringing you closer to him. “Tell me what's on your mind. What's wrong honey?” 

“Everything daddy… everything.” you complained, reaching to wipe your eyes again. He already knew what happened just from you saying that. And as usual the only reason his baby would cry was because of their job or a sad movie. 

‘How about you just be my cute little wife and carry my babies; that's the only thing you'll ever have to do again, okay?” he said already having it in the back of his head ever since he first fell for you. After months of you sneaking him extra bread in his bag when he left the store, always smiling at him with your whole heart; it being the first time he's ever blushed, he was whipped.

“Mkay.” you sniffled, not even bothering or caring to fix your face. He was so kind. The idea sounding great in your head. Never having to see your mean boss again, always getting on you for the simplest things, leaving to go cry in the break room.

“There's my good girl.” he praised, kissing you forehead, dragging up your nightgown over your head, finally being bare for him, as his eyes took in your body. Loving every curve you had, kissing his way down your neck after staring with your eyes. Your salty tears being whisked away from his affection that he gave you, that you loved.

His lips met your chest, wrapping them around your nipple as he cupped that breast. Squeezing it gently while moving his hand from your thigh, his ring leaving an imprint there while grabbing your other breast. Flicking it with his finger, loving to hear the little whimpers you let out, so precious. 

“Ken” 

“You’re so wet” he said, attaching his lips to your puffy clit, sucking on it while shoving his long fingers into you soaking little cunt, curling them just like how you were daydreaming about earlier.

“Daddy- please.” you whined bucking into his mouth already so needy, not needing any prep, just wanting to be stuffed full.

“Gimme...”, you said, trying to form a sentence while  his fingers were knuckle deep, hitting your g spot with ease.

“I got you my love” he said, already unbuckling his pants, taking a break from abusing your poor clit as you watched his cock pop out of his boxers. Mouth already watering thinking about taking it into your mouth, but pushing that to the side, knowing that he wouldn't say yes to that right now.

He hasn't seen a prettier sight in his life; your ankles by your ears, pussy begging for him to breed, his mind foggy as ever as you tell him to fuck a baby into you. Freezing at the words coming out of your sweet little mouth. But how could he tell his angel no?

“Open up for me sweetheart.” he muttered, imagining you so full and needy, not even being able to get up without him making him harder than ever. Sliding into you with no condom, as always, only on birth control. But the thought of it not doing its job got you even more hot and bothered, you head flooding with the thought of him fucking his cum back into you.

“Relax” he says, observing your face attentively.

“Youre so big daddy” you breathed out, eyes locking on his cock doing its best to fit in your little hole, even though you were drenched he still had to take it slow.

“it hurt?” 

“No. just fuck me, please. I'll be a good girl, daddy please.” you whined already working your way to make him bottom out.

He puts his lips on yours to distract you, shoving his length all the way in. Catching your moans in his mouth, groaning into yours. Your sweet scent getting his mind hazy as you rested on the mattress, your greedy little hands placing themselves on his back as you grabbed him closer.

He pushed himself balls deep in you, not taking long for you tell him to move whining out for your “daddy to fuck you”. His cock nudging your cervix, slowly easing back and forth to ease the pain you didn't even notice.

You feel so full while trembling in his hold. Feeling so good to finally have him inside you. Knowing that he was doing his best to not just fuck into you, wanting to make you feel good like you deserved.

He breaks the kiss and buries his face in the mattress beside your head, leaving kisses on your neck, as your ankles were now on his shoulders, hips spread wide rough for him to abuse. Your lips brush against his arm while he's connecting his hands with yours. Your rings clashing while you accept, pulling him closer like it's possible.

He's kissing underneath your ear now he starts to move his hips. Moaning at the feeling of his fat cock finally stretching you out. Pulling all the way out except the tip before slamming his hips back into yours, both of you moaning at the feeling.

He continues fucking you deep and fast, knowing thats how you liked it. His big frame towering  over yours, the comfy feeling of his weight on you, the heat radiating from his body making you feel like you were in heaven

“k-ken,” you mouthed not letting a word out but he read your pretty swollen lips. “you feel s-so good. d-ont pull out.”.

“When have i ever.” he stated, his voice unwavering as he brought his face to yours, seeing your eyes glossy and red, knowing you couldn't think straight right now. The only thing being on your mind was him. “You wanna be a mommy?”

“Y-yeah want your babies, want daddies babies, daddy please, please ple-” you whimpered out, clinging onto his shoulders admiring his body before you met his eyes. Overcome with the feelings you had inside you, wanting him to know as much as you. “Daddy -hahh i lov-e you.” 

“I know baby... i love you too” he returned, placing his lips on yours as he continued fucking into your sloppy little hole that he was the cause of.

He grabs your thighs, spreading them apart more, your hips giving away. Almost lifting you up, fucking into you deeper than before. Your screaming with no noise coming out except gasps because your daddy fucking you so good, making your head spin. And all you can think about is having his babies, wanting him to cum in you so much that it never comes out.

“More” you begged, wanting to feel his cum dripping out of you.

Your orgasm, collecting itself all this time, finally hits you like a shockwave. So unannounced that you completely let go and turn limp and he's still manhandling you, getting himself off.

You don't even feel him stop, just feeling his hot cum pouring inside you before you realize your not being thrusted into anymore. You cunt still clenching around him, milking him for everything he’s got as he tunes you over, not pulling out. You now resting on top of him, both of you breathing heavily as you cum for the nth time feeling it drip down your thighs and onto his balls.

“Are you okay my love?”

You cant even talk now, you voice long gone from crying earlier to him fucking you. You just snuggle into his side, wrapping your arms around his bicep as he strokes your forehead, kissing it before you grab his face.

“Kiss” you pouted using your remaining strength to point to your lips.

He lets out a laugh, leaning down to give you what you want, as always. Breaking the kiss when you let out a moan again; his cock was not hard anymore but still took up all the room in you, if you moved it would move it you. 

He repositions himself deep as he can inside without hurting you before noticing your swollen eyes starting to close. “Goodnight doll, love you.” he softly says kissing your forehead again

“Wait” You mummerd out, not opening your eyes but putting all your attention on him too. Wondering what you were gonna say as your soft sleepy smile appeared on your face. Cheeks all puffed out along with your lips. As you snuggled closer to his, mouth right up at his ear.

“G’night daddy, love you too”

#jjk x reader #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #Nanami smut #jjk smut #jujustu kaisen imagine

[bokutoslittlebird]

Guys My Age

Older!Bokuto x College!Akaashi

Summary: Akaashi finds his life quite boring yet stressful with his boyfriend and classes, struggling to pay his rent on time. When Kenma suggests looking into a sugar daddy, he’s hesitant, but he soon finds himself in a sweet position.

Warnings: sugar daddy au, anxiety, mentions of food and not eating (not necessarily an eating disorder, I don’t think), mention of drugs and alcohol, abuse, mentions of insecurities, manhandling, mirror sex, blowjob, sex toys [1], fingering, lube, anal, creampie

Akaashi didn’t need to open the door to tell his boyfriend was home. The stench of weed was obvious beyond the door, making it so Akaashi had to plug his nose before even entering the apartment. Sure enough, his boyfriend, Ichiro, was lounging on the couch with some girl he’s never seen before, a bong on the coffee table between them and a blunt between her manicured fingers. Although he was surprised she’d have enough money to pay for nails, he just ignored them as they would do to him.

The apartment complex was located in a pretty shady area, meaning there was a lot more crime and a lot more drug related activity around the area. Akaashi chose it due to cheap costs on his rent, hoping it’d lessen his stress with classes and work. Even when he invited Ichiro to stay at his place, he expected some help with the finances. Instead, he worked himself ragged and retained even more stress because his boyfriend was addicted to weed.

Whether it be drugs or alcohol, Ichiro’s paycheck went towards it. Tossing a glass bottle in the recycling, Akaashi tried to clean up the kitchen a bit while he waited for the water to heat up. Ichiro also didn’t like coffee, so Akaashi’s mother bought him a Keurig to have at his apartment, so he could make single cups of coffee and not worry about extra coffee going to waste. A high pitched giggling was heard behind him, making him turn to see the girl wobbling her way into the kitchen. Finally noticing Akaashi, she seems to smile as if she’s met him before.

“Hey, there! You must be Ichiro’s friend, right?” She slurred, obviously drunk. Akaashi had to force himself to breathe in her presence, the stench of weed and alcohol stronger now that she was in the room.

“His boyfriend, yes,” he replies, then turns back around. She seems to have moved her attention elsewhere, then whines.

“Where’s my bottle?” She whines, stomping her foot like she’s a child. Akaashi rolls his eyes, pressing the buttons to make an extra strong coffee. With her in his home, he’ll need it. Her whining and calling out for her ‘bottle’ doesn’t stop, not once, while he makes a large mug of coffee. He’s leaving soon after, ignoring her completely as he goes into the bedroom. The bedroom is still close by, but he’s able to breathe a bit better and plug his earbuds in to get his work done. Taking out his laptop and stretching a bit, he gets to work.

By the time his stomach is grumbling for some food, it’s already dark out and the apartment has quieted down. Expecting the two to be passed out, Akaashi exits the bedroom to find them missing, bong and bits of weed left behind. Rolling his eyes, he goes to clean it up. The first time he cleaned it up, he decided to throw away the small bits of weed left behind and clean the bong, starting a fight with Ichiro on accident. Akaashi may be a pretty big guy, but he isn’t one for confrontation, just letting Ichiro berate and hit him for “wasting his shit” as he said. Sighing at the memory, Akaashi swiped the bits into a plastic bag and wiped the rim of the bong, putting them both in a cabinet in the kitchen. It had a lock on it, suppose to keep people out except Ichiro, but it’s been unlocked forever and he never remembers to lock it.

While cooking up a meal in the microwave and texting Kenma, Akaashi gets a notification from Ichiro.

“Don’t wait up for me! Party until late,” is what the message says, making Akaashi roll his eyes. Putting his phone down, he tries to focus on putting food in his belly and finishing his homework. He doesn’t need to worry about what his stupid boyfriend is doing; if he wants to party, smoke, and drink his life away, that’s fine. Akaashi really doesn’t want him living with him anymore, but he’s not confrontational and worries he’ll anger Ichiro again. Taking the TV dinner out of the microwave, he frowns as he mixes his food around, appetite no longer there.

The next day, Akaashi wakes up to an empty bed and an empty house, deciding to skip on breakfast as he gets ready for classes. His university is close by enough he can walk, but he needs an early start. At the university is where he met Yukie, who he shared classes in his first semester with. She’s looking to go into food business, a nutritionist, while he wants to go into literature business. Completely nothing in common, yet she’s easily become a close friend. She also happens to have a meal for Akaashi, somehow sensing he doesn’t eat breakfast most morning.

Speaking of which…

“Keiji-kun! Morning!” Yukie shouts across the campus. Akaashi turns to her, waving as she jogs his way. “I got you an extra plate,” she grins, pulling out a takeout container. Akaashi smiles, grateful, but shakes his head.

“I ate today, actually. Thanks, though,”

“Well it’s here until lunch. Wanna go to the library while waiting for class?” She points to the building where people are pouring out of, rushing to get to their class.

“We could, but I did promise professor—”

“Yeah, yeah, gotta be a good student, I get it,” she waves him off, but her smile tells him it’s in good fun. “I’ll be in the library if you need me, ‘kay?” With that, Akaashi’s waving goodbye as they part ways, his feet leading him into a different part of campus.

Did he have a professor to do work for? No, not today. Did he want to be alone so he could finish his work? Yes, he did.

The day is shorter than most, his classes ending earlier because of the break coming up in the next week. After school, he ends up meeting with Yukie and Kenma at a burger joint, finally munching on some food as he listens to Yukie’s story about the grocery store girl.

“She’s so pretty! I’m positive she flirts with me, she seems to always be there!” She explains, chomping on her burger between bites. “I just gotta ask her out,”

“Or not. She’d probably thing you’re a creep,” Kenma cringed his nose in disgust, nibbling on his nuggets. Neither him nor Akaashi have been big on eating, but Yukie loves food. Especially if it’s cheap and greasy.

“No way, didn’t you hear me? She sounds like she’s into me. I hope she is. She looks like she likes girls, at least, which means I have a chance,” she says, pounding her fist in her palm, making a declaration.

“Isn’t it rude to assume based on stereotypes?” Akaashi asks. “After all, she could just like to dress a specific way, not necessarily dressing in a way to attract other women,”

“No, I’ve seen her interact with men. She’s short with them, leaving no room for small talk. Definitely a lesbian,” Yukie practically huffs, nodding firmly before starting in her second burger. Akaashi and Kenma just look at each other and then shrug, going back to their own food. “Speaking of men, how is the love life in Kozume-land and Akaashi-land?”

“Don’t call it that,” Kenma mumbles, but his face turns red after she says so. Now it’s time for Akaashi and Yukie to look at each other, eyebrows raised as they stare at Kenma. “Why are you looking at me like I said something weird?”

“You’re red,” Akaashi bluntly says. Kenma seems to flush even more at that, shoving two nuggets in his mouth. “Kenma, please don’t choke,”

“F’s non’ y’or bus’fness,” Kenma says around a mouthful of food. Eventually, he’s swallowing the food and sipping on his drink. “That’s none of your business,” he states, more clearly.

“You have a boyfriend!” Yukie shouts, startling the men and people around her. “Or girlfriend? You don’t seem to like girls, though,” she hums in thought, finger on her chin.

“Kenma, I’ve known you since we were 5. It is kind of my business. What if he’s shady? Or she, but you’ve only really dated guys before,”

“Okay, I dated one guy. He wasn’t that great, but he got me a ticket to that one con, so I figured it was a fair trade,” Kenma crosses his arms, but a few more seconds of stares has him cracking. “Ugh, fine. But you have to not tell anyone,”

“We promise,” they both say, smiling as they hold out their pinkies. Once they’ve sworn, Kenma lets out a sigh before telling them the big deal.

“I have a sugar daddy,” he mumbles, face turning red once more. “He’s.. nice enough. I’ve been seeing him for a few months,”

“Months?” Akaashi almost shouts. Completely under his radar, but it suddenly makes sense.

“Living the high life, Kenma-kun,” Yukie giggles, clapping as Kenma hides his face. “Good job!”

“Details. Now.” Akaashi demands, making Kenma lean back in fear or surprise. Maybe both.

“Can we talk about it somewhere else? Not in public at some cheap burger joint?” He asks. A look from Yukie to Akaashi, and their both agreeing, deciding to finish their food as quickly as possible.

Once they were out of the restaurant, they kept up small talk until arriving at Akaashi’s apartment. It was still empty, thankfully, but the smell of weed was still pretty strong. “This place stinks,”

“Yeah, Ichiro’s been smoking weed recently,” which is a lie, as he’s been doing this their entire 2 year relationship. It just got hard to ignore once they began living together a year ago. “It’s.. a bit annoying,”

“A bit? Your couch reeks of it,” Kenma says, wiping the couch to make sure it isn’t dirty. Once he’s satisfied with it, and he has a glass of water, courtesy of Akaashi, he tells his friends the news. “It happened at the end of last semester. It was supposed to be a fun project, looking into companies and what made them popular, so I got this one company. Looking into it, they seemed like adult entertainment, which I thought was gross, but it turned out they were actually made famous because it’s popular for sugar babies. Long story short, that’s what happened,” he finishes. Yukie’s mouth drops open, then she sputters.

“No! That’s just the beginning! Who is it? Who did you find? Is he nice, at least?”

“I made a profile to look into the app more, since you needed one, and ended up browsing options out of curiosity. Most of them looked sleazy, actually. The most sleazy looking one, however, happened to be the first guy that DM’ed me. I used an old picture of me from my senior year in high school, so I thought this guy was a total creep. Turns out he was just looking for a date to some fancy dinner. He works with professional volleyball players and is actually kind of sweet,” he explains, face turning pink as he talks. Akaashi glares a bit, not believing the story.

“But you still have to sleep with him, don’t you? I thought you said sex was gross?” He ponders aloud, making Kenma’s face get darker.

“W-Well, um, it was ju-just lip service, you know? After we set up a schedule and whatnot, he was really respectful of not going further. Then I felt like I was ready, s-so we ended up, um,” Kenma stutters, shifting his hands in his lap and in his seat. “You know what we did. He’s not amazing at it, not like he was trying to break me, b-but he’s very goo-good with his mouth,”

Yukie whistles when he says that, making him hide his face and constant mutters of “why did I say that” over and over again. Akaashi just sighed, finding himself envious of his best friend, finding a guy that actually gives back in return. While Yukie pesters Kenma, Akaashi leaves the couch to go to the bathroom, texting Ichiro.

“Hey, you coming back tonight? I miss you,” he tells him, waiting with bated breath for a reply. Soon enough, the phone is buzzing and he goes to check.

“No, Sonya invited me to another party, so I’ll be staying the night here,” was the reply. Shutting off his phone, Akaashi goes back to his friends to see Kenma covered in a blanket while Yukie pokes him.

“What are you two doing?”

“He’s so shy, despite saying all that stuff. I just find him cute,” she smiles, dimples in her cheeks as Kenma whines from under the blanket. Yukie then turns to him, finally ceasing in her poking. “When’s your boyfriend coming back? I don’t know if he’d like us here,”

“He’s.. at a party. I don’t know when he’s coming back, actually,” Akaashi sighs, deciding to come clean. He’s been lying about how good his relationship is because it was such an interesting and good thing, in his friend’s words, so he wanted to keep the facade. However, they’re obviously having better love lives than him. “He doesn’t hang out here anymore, actually, mostly only to smoke and drink with friends, then leaves,”

“You’re still with someone like that? Keiji, you deserve better,” Yukie has a serious tone Akaashi hasn’t heard before, making his eyes widen. “Obviously he doesn’t care for you,”

“If I was with someone like that, you’d tell me to break up with him. So I’m giving you the advice you’d give me: drop him,” Kenma says, in agreement with Yukie. Akaashi just sighs, shaking his head.

“I don’t know, he’s— he can get mean when he smokes and drinks. There hasn’t been a good time, you know?” Akaashi mumbles, fiddling with his fingers. Even though they understand what he says, they don’t pry. “I’ll work myself up for it, okay?”

The next few days was Akaashi doing precisely that. Ichiro hadn’t come back, spurring Akaashi to feel confident in his decision. Packing his stuff up, Akaashi even added the drugs and alcohol in a bag for him, putting everything by the door. Yukie also ended up spending a few nights at the apartment in case of a fight, ready to defend Akaashi.

The break up was actually quite heartbreaking, but for the wrong reasons. It wasn’t tear filled and full of screaming matches, but rather just soft words and not even a goodbye. Ichiro seemed to not care, taking his stuff and leaving, while Akaashi felt like he just cut a hole inside of him. He may not have loved Ichiro anymore, but he did spend two years with him, and even his final year in high school of knowing him. Yukie and Kenma checked up on him, but they could only help a little as Akaashi stopped doing his homework and showing up to class, even skipping days at work. He only got up to go when they called him and told him he’d be fired if he didn’t start showing up. Even so, Kenma had to pitch in to help with groceries and rent a bit, but eventually decided he’s had enough.

“You need money. You need to fill emptiness in your heart. You also need to focus on school again, so the logical response is to look for a sugar daddy,” he says, making Akaashi’s profile. “Good news is I have pictures of you from our first day at college, so I can make the profile,”

“No old man wants a depressed college student,” Akaashi groans, tightly sealed inside a burrito cocoon of blankets.

“Actually, that’s what they want. Alright, done. ‘Looking for someone to treat me right, preferably someone with half a brain’,” Kenma reads off. Akaashi laughs, a short one that’s full of mock. “Oh please, you’d go brain dead with a sugar daddy that only wants sex,”

“I am not too big on sex, you know,” Akaashi grumbles, not removing himself from the burrito. Kenma just leaves him to it, moving out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, probably to make them both some coffee and lunch. Curious, Akaashi picks up his phone and looks through his profile, scoffing at how pretentious Kenma made him sound. Moving to the different options, Akaashi notices that the sugar daddies available range from late 20s to early 70s, with the creepier and more demanding profiles being from the older ones. Young and rich doesn’t equate experience, he supposes. The options were pretty small, since Akaashi was particular about the guys he was looking at. That was, until he got a notification that someone messaged him.

“Who is it?” Kenma suddenly asks, making Akaashi jump as his thoughts are interrupted.

“Don’t scare me like that,” he sighs, putting his hand on his heart. Kenma didn’t say anything, just watched as Akaashi opened the messages to see a message from someone named “Daddy Owl”. “This guy sounds like a joke,”

“I mean, the guy I met had ‘Sexy and Rich Cat’ with the little ‘&’ symbol,” Kenma drew the symbol on the air. “They’re cheesy, but rich. What did he say?”

“Um.. ‘Hey, hey, hey’,”

“That’s..it?” Kenma sighs, holding out his hand. Akaashi gives him the phone, letting him look at the profile, then put on a disgusted face. “Oh my god,”

“Is he weird? This was a bad idea—”

“He works with //my sugar daddy,” Kenma cuts him off, making Akaashi stop as he just stared. A couple beats of silence before Kenma continued. “Professional volleyball athlete, Bokuto Kōtarō. I’ve heard about him, but didn’t think he was into the sugar baby ordeal. Huh, that’s weird,”

“Bokuto Kōtarō..?” Akaashi repeats his name, thinking about it. “What do I do?”

“Well I texted back, ‘Hey there’, you know how you say it. He — wow, fast reply,” Kenma looks at the phone, Akaashi over his shoulder looking. “‘I was wondering if you were looking to spend time together on the 20, you in?’ Why the 20th?”

“Maybe he has a special event and needs a date?” Akaashi suggests, taking his phone back. “Shouldn’t I be talking to him, not you?”

“Fine. I’ll let you talk to him, but no telling him where you live. Not until you meet in person, at least,” Kenma advises.

“Meet? In person? Like before the.. sugar stuff?”

“Yeah, don’t wanna be used and disposed of like trash, do you? If he doesn’t want to meet up, it’s a red flag. If he wants to meet up and turns out to be nice, bingo. You’re free to give sugar,”

“Oh, okay. I’ll suggest it, then.” Akaashi turns back to his phone, telling Bokuto that he’s willing to hang out on the 20th, but only if they can meet beforehand. While waiting anxiously for a reply, Kenma decides to leave the bedroom, going outside the apartment to leave Akaashi to himself for a moment. When the //ding resounds in the room, Akaashi looks to see Bokuto has accepted, asking what day would be best. After setting a day, two weeks before the 20th, Akaashi finally set down his phone and practically collapsed, exhausted from such an interaction.

“So, update?” Kenma asks, reentering the apartment. When his feet pad over to Akaashi’s body, all he gets is a thumbs up. “Well, when is it?” Akaashi holds up one finger. “One day? Tomorrow?” A small shake of the head. “One week?” A nod. “Good, we’ll go shopping tomorrow. No classes, right? Need you to wear something to impress, after all.”

It all happens too fast, buying clothes and getting proper procedure from Kenma, with Yukie attending them for support. Soon enough, Akaashi is pacing as he waits for the clock to turn to the next hour, so he doesn’t get to the coffee shop too early. With it getting chillier in the day, Akaashi felt he’d be comfortable with a cream sweater and some plain black slacks, more expensive than anything he’s owned. Kenma generously bought everything, even asking his own sugar daddy for an extra allowance with no hesitation. With a nice watch on one wrist and practically a new wardrobe, Akaashi felt ready. He convinced Kenma he didn’t need any new shoes, but Kenma frowned when he saw the black converse on Akaashi’s feet. “Really?”

“They’re comfortable. I don’t know if he wants to go walking somewhere or something, plus they’re black. It fits,” he replies, checking his phone one more time. “Okay, it’s 10.”

“Call me if anything’s wrong or he seems weird. I’ll be nearby,” Kenma says. Before Akaashi can ask questions, he is pushed out his apartment and forced to walk down the steps. “Good luck,” Kenma whispers, before running back to the apartment. Well, Kenma’s running is more like fast walking. Akaashi tries to calm his nerves, forcing his feet to move in the direction of the coffee shop. He just hopes Bokuto’s nice.

Well, he’s never been one to be late. Even pushing his departure back and slowly walking to his destination, Akaashi sees nobody outside the café. He isn’t that early, so he hopes Bokuto isn’t late or worse, a no show. As he looks at his phone, looking around occasionally, he hears a boisterous voice from behind him, inside the café. “Hey, hey, hey, Akaashi!”

“I— Bokuto-san?” He asks, turning to see the man himself. His smile is so genuine, Akaashi is taken aback for a moment. “You went inside?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I decided to get here early in case they needed to clear off a table. I was just about to text you when I saw you outside. Guess we both wanted to get here early, huh?” Bokuto grins, then moves to the side, waving his hand towards the door. “The table awaits,”

“You don’t have to be so fancy and.. formal..” Akaashi mumbles, but still thanks Bokuto as he goes into the café. He’s been here before, using the free internet, access to coffee and free refills on Thursdays, and clear air to do homework often. Now, though, he almost feels embarrassed. Bokuto leads him to a table, closer to the back and away from most people. “Oh, so far away? From the windows and door?” Akaashi asks, alarm bells ringing.

“Ah, well, you mentioned you weren’t a fan of crowds on your profile, so I thought it’d be best to be away from crowds. The counter is right over there, but we can move if it’ll make you comfortable,” he suggests, pointing to the areas. Akaashi feels his face warm, finding the small consideration sweet, despite it being so small.

“N-No, that’s fine, Bokuto-san,” he says, sitting down. The spot is well lit and Akaashi is facing the counter, which he can see two baristas at now. Bokuto doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest, so Akaashi sighs and tries to relax his tense muscles.

“You can just call me Bokuto, if you want. No need to be so formal, after all,” he laughs, repeating Akaashi’s words back to him. Akaashi lets himself smile a bit at that, shaking his head.

“It’s just how I am. Perhaps after I get to know you that can change,” he says, making Bokuto’s cheeks turn pink. He’s a bit confused, but can’t ask why before the waitress is taking their orders. “Oh, uh, I don’t”

“Don’t worry, get what you like! It’s my treat, after all,” Bokuto chirps, leaning back in his chair. Akaashi nods, then lists off his drink and food, deciding to try the lemon cream cake. “Oh, that sounds good! I’ll have a slice of the lemon cake, too. And a hot chocolate,” Bokuto says, and with that the waitress leaves.

“Not coffee?” Akaashi asks, a small smile. It fits, as Bokuto doesn’t seem like someone who enjoys the bitter drink.

“Ah, no. We never really drank coffee in my house growing up, so I much prefer sweet drinks. If I drink coffee, it’s full of cream and sugar, so it’s not very coffee like, I suppose,” he chuckles, then clears his throat. “Are you a fan of coffee?”

“Well, it helps keep me up when I do homework or gets me through my day. I guess you can say I’m a bit addicted,” Akaashi tries to force a small laugh, but it doesn’t seem as relaxed as Bokuto’s. Thankfully, Bokuto doesn’t point it out.

“That’s right! You mentioned being in school? What do you do? Or, I guess, what do you want to do?”

“Uh, I’m looking to go into the literature business when I graduate. I was thinking of becoming an editor or something similar,”

“Oh, so you‘re doing business classes!” Bokuto points two finger guns in his direction, smiling when Akaashi nods. “I always envied the people who went into business. So much planning ahead and thinking, it’s not really for me,”

“I’m sure studying would help, so don’t say that,”

“Well, I’m more of a people person than a knowledge person. Is that right? It sounds weird, but I’m better with interactions than just thinking,”

“Communications, then. Or a social worker?” Akaashi asks, then stops, making Bokuto raise his brows. “I’m sorry, you have a career ahead of you. There’s no need to try and bring up college stuff,”

“Well, I figured I’d start with something you’re familiar with. You’re so tense, I thought perhaps thinking of something else would help you relax a bit,” Bokuto smiles as Akaashi just stares at him. At that moment, the drinks and cake is brought out. “If you want anything else, let me know!” He chirps, then digs into his cake. Akaashi can’t help but smile, finding himself more relaxed than before.

The date is much better than Akaashi thought it’d be. His biggest worry was not being able to have similar interests, but Bokuto was interested in any topic Akaashi brought up. Even if it seemed out of his knowledge range, he made a point to listen. When Akaashi’s cup ran low, he got up to order another one, asking if he wanted anything else to eat. Akaashi’s never been a big eater, so he declined each time, even though Bokuto decided to try every option on the menu. He also shared, wanting Akaashi to at least have a taste.

When the date was over, Bokuto didn’t even let Akaashi see the check, just handed the waitress his card while they finished up their conversation.

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask, why did you choose to have a date for the 20th?” Akaashi brings up. He’s been curious since the question was brought up last week.

“Oh! It’s my birthday. I usually spend it with friends, but I’m getting tired of fancy parties and going to clubs. I just wanted a nice dinner and someone to spend it with, so I thought I’d look into someone who’d be willing,” he shrugs, finishing up his hot chocolate. Akaashi nods, then decides he should probably get a present. “Oh, but if you do decide to spend the day with me, you don’t have to give me a present. After all, I supply you with goodies and money, right? You supply me with your presence,”

Akaashi finds it interesting he doesn’t say ‘body’ or anything regarding sex, but doesn’t bring it up. Maybe he doesn’t want to bring it up in public. After the waitress hands back his card, Bokuto thanks her and gets up, signifying the end of the date. Akaashi gets up as well, finding himself greedily wanting to spend more time together.

“Did you want me to walk you home? Or drive you?” Bokuto suddenly asks once they’re outside. Akaashi shakes his head, but thanks Bokuto anyways.

“I live pretty close by, so I’ll be fine,”

“Alright. If you need anything, just let me know,” he gives off finger guns, watching Akaashi walk away. It isn’t until he’s turned a corner does Bokuto finally leave, heading in the opposite direction where parked cars are. Akaashi watches him leave, then continues on his way home. Despite the lack of red flags, he can never be too safe.

When he gets back to the apartment, he finds Kenma still there, but in different attire. “Go somewhere?”

“Game shop. It’s next to the coffee shop you went to,” he replies, not missing a beat. Akaashi sighs, not surprised. “So? How’d it go?”

“He’s way too nice. I feel like there’s a catch. He was even considerate of positioning of the table,” he says. “You mentioned on my profile I don’t like crowds, so he chose a table in the back away from crowds,”

“That’s sus,”

“But then told me that it may give off bad vibes, so he also made sure we were within line sight of the counter and two baristas at a time. They would periodically check up on us, too, but that was probably because Bokuto kept ordering desserts. He has a big sweet tooth,”

“So he’s not sus, is what I’m gathering?”

“Not suspicious, for now. I don’t know, like I said,” he sits next to Kenma, kicking up his feet on the table. “Too good to be true.”

A notification alert shatters the comfortable silence, making Akaashi look at his phone. A DM from Bokuto again, as well as a deposit into his bank account. “Deposit?”

“You link your bank account to the profile if you’re a sugar baby looking for money. He and anyone else can add money whenever they like. How much did he deposit?”

There’s silence before Akaashi speaks, his eyes wide as he just looks at Kenma. “100,000¥.”

After that, Kenma and Yukie were heavily invested. Giving tips, hyping him up, telling his what he should say to Bokuto, everything. When Bokuto asked his sizes, Akaashi asked him why, even though Kenma told him it was probably for a present and he should just tell him. Sure enough, Bokuto planned on buying an outfit for the 20th, tailored to Akaashi’s figure. Then came the question for his address. Kenma was still skeptical, as was Akaashi, but he ultimately decided to place his trust in Bokuto.

A couple days later, a box with his name was delivered. In it, was a nice suit that would take Akaashi years to earn enough money to buy. The button-down shirt was white, with a black business coat and black dress pants, complete with dress shoes and even a pair of black socks. A full outfit for the special day, but under all those clothes was something else, a lingerie set made of lace. He tried on every article of clothing, finding it fit him well and snug, much better than his old baggy clothes. Even the lingerie, though it left nothing to the imagination.

The day of the date had arrived. Akaashi had dressed himself up, feeling good about himself while Kenma gave him a thumbs up. Bokuto would pick him up at 5, so when he got a knock at 4:30, he expected Bokuto. Instead, he got Ichiro, who seemed less drugged up than when they last met. “Ichiro? What are you—?”

“I’m sorry, Akaashi!” Is all he says, bowing deeply. “I haven’t been the same without you. Sleeping on strangers couches, doing nothing but smoking and drinking, I feel like I’m lost,”

“You did that here, too,” Akaashi flatly retorts, hands on his hips. “I told you. I’m tired of dealing with you. You never showed me affection in our last year, it just made sense to break up. An apology can’t change that,”

“You’re just gonna let two years go down the drain? I was your friend before we dated, can we at least stay friends?”

“No, he said he’s done with you, now leave,” Kenma says, entering Ichiro’s view. “He’s not interested, anyways,”

“Oh, is that it? You moved on so easily from me?” He then turned his tune and look at Akaashi. “You’ve been whoring yourself out, is that it?”

“No, that’s not—!”

“Don’t lie to me! You have barely even touched me in the past few months!” Getting more riled up, he steps into the apartment as Akaashi backs up, fear freezing him. Kenma tries to bring Akaashi closer to him, but Ichiro’s anger turns to him. “You’ve probably been lying to him and got him to break up with me, huh? You’ve always had a problem with me,”

“He didn’t do anything, Ichiro. He’s just my friend. Leave him out of your pathetic display of manipulation. And get out,” Akaashi sneers, moving Kenma behind him. He may not be confrontational, but he knows Kenma does even worse with these things. Ichiro seems even more angered by Akaashi’s tone, but he doesn’t get to say anything else.

“Akaashi? What’s going on?” Bokuto stands at the open door, a worried look on his face. Understandable, since he doesn’t know the situation. However, Bokuto’s presence is just fuel to a fire.

“So, this is him? The guy you’ve been fucking behind my back? Seems like a fucking joke, Keiji,”

“We’re not together anymore, Ichiro. Please leave,” Akaashi says, again. Keeping Kenma behind him, his eyes flicker to Bokuto’s, getting the message across.

“You know what-!”

“It’s time to go, Ichiro, was it? Before I call the police,” Bokuto says, grabbing his raised wrist. Bokuto is much stronger than him, but the threat of police makes him laugh.

“Police? They don’t do shit here,”

“Perhaps. But I have friends in high places. I’m sure a phone call later, you’ll be caught for domestic abuse and harassment. Your best option is to leave of your own will. Or I will drag you out,” his voice is serious, but his face is void of emotion, making him seem scarier than if he was angry. Unmoving as if he was stone, Ichiro agrees to leave, stomping his way out. Bokuto stays until he’s gone, then turns to Akaashi and Kenma. “Are you two okay?”

“Fine, thanks,” Kenma mutters, still hiding a bit behind Akaashi.

“A bit frazzled, but okay. Thanks to you,”

“Who was that guy?” Akaashi decides to explain about Ichiro, deciding Bokuto deserves to know everything, since, well, he almost saw the worst of it. “What a asshole, waltzing in here like he owns the place after all that. Should’ve dragged him out myself,” he huffs, crossing his arms. Kenma has retreated to the bedroom while Akaashi tells Bokuto the story, so it’s just the two of them. “After that, I’d be totally understandable if you don’t wanna, like, go anywhere,”

“No, no! I’m fine. I’d probably prefer it, anyways, in case he comes back,” Akaashi fiddles with his fingers at the thought. He doesn’t want to be home alone, and Kenma probably wants to go home himself.

“Are you sure? I promise I won’t be upset. The reservations can be rescheduled,”

“No, I promised to spend time with you, Bokuto-san, so that is what I will do. Just, give me time to freshen up?” Bokuto nods, letting Akaashi give himself time to calm his nerves.

Bokuto drives Akaashi to a fantastic restaurant, one of the few that are only available via reservations and everything served is expensive. It’s luxurious and spacious, making Akaashi wonder if he should even be in such a place. But Bokuto encourages him in, holding out his arm to take as the enter the building. Thankfully, nobody stares at them as they’re brought to their table. Akaashi couldn’t live with the stares of judging gazes from strangers.

“So, what’s the special occasion?” The waiter asks. Bokuto answers, of course.

“Birthday celebration. Any recommendations?”

“Strawberry champagne is highly popular for birthday celebrations, or we can serve regular champagne if you don’t like sweet drinks.” Bokuto asks for a bottle of the strawberry champagne, then asks Akaashi if he wants anything.

“No, I’m good. Just a glass of water, please,” and with that, the waiter leaves. Bokuto looks at Akaashi, no show of emotions. “Yes, Bokuto-san?”

“You sure you’re okay? I’m paying for the meal, you could have gotten anything you wanted,”

“I’m just not a fan of alcohol. Burns the throat, you know,” he explains. Bokuto doesn’t pry, but a part of Akaashi tells him Bokuto knows why. He may not have mentioned Ichiro got rowdy when he got drunk, but he did mention his abuse of alcohol.

“Also, no need to be so formal. We may not exactly be in a romantic relationship, but it’s an intimate relationship nonetheless, yes?” Bokuto holds out his hand, making Akaashi nod. “So you can call me Bokuto. Or Kōtarō, but you can save that for later,” he winks, making Akaashi’s cheeks heat up. The waiter also happened to bring the drinks at that time, taking their food orders.

Dinner, although his nerves never got quiet, was rather relaxing for Akaashi. Bokuto kept up a steady conversation as he had at the café and managed to get Akaashi thinking of topics other than his current situation. However, before dessert, Akaashi felt his stomach tighten as a woman passed by their table. Looking between the two of them, she crinkled her nose as she looked at Akaashi, but Bokuto didn’t seem to notice. He did, however, notice Akaashi’s mood drop.

“Hm? You’re fiddling, are you okay?” He asks, leaning his cheek on his hand. Akaashi drops his hands, brushing them on his napkin before wringing them.

“It’s just, uh, isn’t it weird for me to be here? Or us? Together? After all, you are older than me, so they probably think, um,” he trails off, fiddling with his fingers again.

“Worried they’ll think bad of us? Worried they’ll think you’re using me?” Bokuto hits the nail on the head, making Akaashi nod and sigh. “Keiji,” the name has his head rising, eyes wide, but listening. “The only one who’s opinion matters to you in this restaurant should be your own, and maybe mine, but you know my thoughts. I only care about your opinion, after all,”

“Really? You think so highly of my tastes?” Akaashi jokes, his smile not reaching his eyes. Bokuto then snaps his fingers, digging in his pocket for something.

“I want you to go to the bathroom and put this on while waiting for dessert. It’ll also give you time to calm your nerves,” Bokuto could read Akaashi like a book. Akaashi took the small box, nodding as he headed for the restroom.

He didn’t quite know what to expect when he opened the box, but he didn’t expect a silver butt plug with a sapphire gem on the bottom. Not real sapphire, of course, Akaashi thinks as he taps on it. In it is a tiny bottle of lube, just enough to coat the toy and, well, plug himself up. Peeling the lace off is tedious, so he just pulls the flimsy fabric to the side as he slides the cold metal inside of him. It fits snugly inside, pressing against his prostate as he redressed himself. Calming his nerves for one reason, but he’s still nervous for other reasons.

When he comes back to the table, Bokuto has a plate of cake in front of him, as well as a big cookie. “Glad you’re back! I got a special cookie! I thought we could split it together,” he smiled, a beaming smile so bright it could wash away insecurities.

“That sounds good,” he replies, setting himself down. Bokuto watches with a grin as he winces, biting his bottom lip as he seats himself comfortably. “I, ah, calmed my nerves,”

“Looks like it,” Bokuto hums, taking a bite of cake. His smile never leaves, seemingly a smile of pride. A smile that never left his face as he finished his dessert.

A calm evening made it seem like a perfect night. With the dinner over, Akaashi felt himself get nervous at the knowledge of what was to come. Even though Bokuto has shown he was nothing but a gentleman, and Kenma gave his stamp of approval, he couldn’t help the nerves. Despite the car ride not being silent, Akaashi couldn’t help but feel awkward. Bokuto seemed to sense he was nervous, being up old funny stories that had him smiling, occasionally laughing, which he was thankful for. It didn’t help that every shift Akaashi made in his seat also slightly shifted the plug. It felt weird do put it in, but as per Bokuto’s request, he did. Of course Bokuto knew about it, but it still made him feel as though he was different than he actually is.

“Alright, we’re here,” Bokuto practically sang, parking the car and turning it off as Akaashi was in awe at the size. It was no grandeur mansion, but it was large and definitely spacious, probably costing a fortune to him. Bokuto opened his car door, helping him out, even though his movements were slow. “Relax, we just got here,” he does a small laugh, shutting the door and locked it, a small chime as it successfully locked.

Entering the house made Akaashi’s heart catch in his throat, his eyes tracing over every object he saw. Although most of the stuff was something he’d probably only see in magazines, not in someone’s house. For example, a quite large statue of a great horned owl on a pedestal near the entrance. Probably made from something like marble, Akaashi thinks, letting his eyes roam as he walks. Bokuto brings him to the living room, a spacious and wide space that’s probably bigger than Akaashi’s whole apartment. “You can relax here. Do you want something to drink? Wine to make you feel better or just some water?”

The option of wine is tempting, but Akaashi knows Kenma would kill him if he had an ounce of alcohol in him tonight. After all, he skipped out on premium champagne at dinner. “No, no, I’d just like some water. Or tea, if you have it?”

“Sure! I have chamomile,” Bokuto gives Akaashi some finger guns, making him smile as he nods. Once he’s bounding off towards his kitchen, Akaashi shifts in his seat as he tries to ease his anxiety and find a comfortable position. The plug is unforgiving, continuously rubbing against Akaashi as he tries to find comfort. A small move has him letting out a low moan, hand flying to his mouth as he scans the room, listening for Bokuto. With nothing, he sighs, deciding to hold still as he looks towards a nearby hallway.

A black carpet lines the hallway, probably leading to restrooms and perhaps a bedroom. Before Akaashi can check, Bokuto is returning with a cup of tea and a glass of wine for himself. Another worry Akaashi had throughout the night, watching Bokuto drink the fruity alcohol served to him that had his cheeks pink and his smile permanent. “Chamomile, piping hot. Don’t burn yourself.”

“Ah, thank you, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi curses himself as he uses the formal tone once more. Bokuto doesn’t seem to mind, knowing he’s trying. It is only their second date, after all, and Bokuto seems to be content with Akaashi’s presence, so hopefully it won’t be their last. He’s worried, of course, that it’ll eventually end, but he shouldn’t worry about that right now. The tea is scalding, but Akaashi finds relief in the hot liquid as it helps to immediately relieve his nerves, a gentle sigh leaving his lips.

“I’ll take it you like it? I don’t drink tea much, so you’re welcome to have any kind when you’re here,” Bokuto hums, taking a sip of his drink. “Maybe when you feel comfortable you can try the wine. Kuroo loves to buy me wine for some reason, so I have lots. I only really like a certain type, but it’s a bit sweet,” Bokuto rambles off, leaning back in the chair. He’s not close too Akaashi, but he’s close enough. Akaashi is glad for the distance, for once, finding Bokuto’s presence is a lot to handle at once. It can be warm and comforting, but it also can worsen those insecurities he buries deep inside. “Done?”

“Oh, yes. Thank you, again,”

“Don’t worry about it. I have to be a good host, no?” He chuckles, walking back into the kitchen. When he returns, he doesn’t sit in the chair again, but rather beside Akaashi on the loveseat. Crossing his legs, he puts his arm on the back of the loveseat, but still keeping a space between him and Akaashi. Whether it’s on purpose or an accident, Akaashi can’t help but overthink everything Bokuto does. “Keiji, if you’re too anxious, we don’t have to do anything, you know?”

“No, of course I know, but I’m—”

“Your shoulders are tense, your back has been rigid almost all evening. I know you mentioned having back pain when we were at the café, so I’ve been concerned.”

“I— You remembered that?” Akaashi squints, disbelieving that Bokuto would retain that information.

“Yeah, and, uh, this may be a bit embarrassing, but I actually did a bit of research on back massages. You mentioned you liked the smell of peppermint, correct?” A small nod. “I thought maybe one day I could massage the stress from your muscles. I get them all the time due to my work, so it was a bit of good information to learn.”

“Actually, I’d like that,” Akaashi then turns his body closer to Bokuto, letting their legs touch. “But today is your birthday, is it not? The whole day is supposed to be about you.” Bokuto’s hums in agreement, bringing his hand to cup Akaashi’s face. It stays there for a bit, Akaashi’s eyes fluttering as he leans into the warmth.

“Can I kiss you?” Bokuto whispers, his lips inching closer to Akaashi’s. Like it’s their first date again, Akaashi nods, meeting Bokuto’s lips with his own. It’s a kiss for lovers, one that’s deep and has Bokuto practically pushing Akaashi on the loveseat, his hand leaving the furniture to support Akaashi’s head. When Bokuto lets out a low groan from deep in his throat, Akaashi breaks the kiss as Bokuto chases his lips, stealing another kiss.

“Shouldn’t we move to the bedroom?” He whispers, pressing his forehead to Bokuto’s. “After all, you have a present to unwrap,”

That gets Bokuto moving, picking Akaashi up bridal style with ease as he takes long strides to the bedroom. It’s close enough by, a short trip and then Bokuto’s closing a door with his foot, setting Akaashi down on a large bed. The mattress is soft and moves along with his weight, a feel akin to a cloud compared to the futon he usually sleeps on at his apartment. He can’t spend too much time admiring the bed, however, as Bokuto’s eager lips claim his once more. Akaashi can’t even complain when Bokuto starts popping the buttons off of his shirt, too eager to properly discard the material. Everything Akaashi is wearing belongs to Bokuto, technically, even the blooming hickeys on his chest and stomach.

Hands trace over the white lace adorning Akaashi’s body, straps that move from front to back. Even his fingers slide under the material, rubbing against Akaashi’s hardened nipples. His lips graze over the fabric, eyes looking up to see Akaashi looking down at him. Bokuto brings Akaashi’s legs over the edge of the bed, kneeling down in front of his pants as his mouth follows, pressing kisses to the growing bulge under the fabric. “A-Ah, Bokuto! Shouldn’t I—”

“Not yet, you deserve a treat for looking so fine tonight. Not to mention, you are my present, are you not?” Bokuto simply says, a low voice that has Akaashi’s face reddening more than it had been. Bokuto continues to undress Akaashi, unbuttoning the pants and unclamping the belt, sliding them off as the rest of the lingerie is revealed. The bottom half hardly covers anything, not doing such a good job in holding back Akaashi’s erection nor hiding the shiny butt plug underneath the thin fabric. Bokuto let’s put a pleased groan, fingers pressing against the toy as Akaashi moans, legs trying to close as his back arches. Even his cock twitches, desperate for attention.

He doesn’t wait long before giving it exactly that, his tongue swiping along the tip as Akaashi’s hands fly to his hair. Another deep groan as he presses kisses along the shaft, sliding his tongue over Akaashi’s balls as well. His fingers find themselves pressing against the toy until they’re pulling it out, making Akaashi whimper as he slowly removes it. He’s not empty for long, as two fingers replace the hard toy and manage to rub against any sensitive spots inside him. With the constant pressure against his prostate and Bokuto’s mouth and tongue pleasing his cock, Akaashi finds himself quickly hurling towards an orgasm.

“N— No, Kōtarō, I—” he moans, hands releasing Bokuto’s hair as his back arches, cum filling Bokuto’s mouth as he drinks it all up. Looking to Akaashi, who has tears in his eyes, Bokuto can’t help but think about how gorgeous he looks like that. “I’m sorry,”

A smack of the lips, and a show of licking his lips. Then his fingers, making Akaashi even more flustered as he watches. “What for? You’ve been edging all day for me, haven’t you? Only reasonable that I’d please you first. You’ve been such a good boy for me, haven’t you?” The pet name is almost too much, Akaashi’s cock practically springing back to life. The name combined with lidded eyes has his stomach warming.

“Well,” Akaashi licks his lips, deciding to give off a sensual smile, “I should give you the second half of your present,”

They change positions after he says that, with Bokuto on the bed as Akaashi places himself between his thighs. Bokuto, with all his strength, practically rips off his own clothes, leaving only his slacks and boxers to be removed. Akaashi takes up the responsibility of removing them, sliding the pants down first, then going to remove his boxers. However, he is only able to free Bokuto’s cock before he stops, eyes wide as he stares at his cock. It’s much bigger than anything he’s ever seen, with a girth that prevents his fingers from touching as they wrap around it. His original plan was go for a deepthroat, but now he doesn’t know how he’ll be able to fit half.

Forgoing completely removing his boxers, Akaashi focuses on his cock instead. Bokuto doesn’t seem to mind, running a hand through Akaashi’s hair as he watches. It’s pleasing to watch as Akaashi figures out what to do. Starting with basics, he lets some saliva dribble onto the tip, pressing his lips to the side as he uses his spit as lube. While one hand rubs the half he can’t put in his mouth, his other hand finds itself on Bokuto’s thigh, feeling the muscle flexing underneath as he forces his legs to stay open. Using his tongue to lick his way back to the top, Akaashi finally puts the tip in his mouth, moaning as he does. The vibrations help in pleasing Bokuto, as he throws his head back at the sensation, hand on the back of Akaashi’s head. As Akaashi takes more into his mouth, he has to stop halfway and simply bob his head, moaning as drool spills from small openings and dribbles down Bokuto’s cock.

“‘Kaashi, fuck,” Bokuto groans, hand never leaving Akaashi’s head. A small hum is all Akaashi can really say, rubbing his tongue against Bokuto’s cock and over the tip as he bobs his head on it. The spit coats his hand as he spreads it over the bit he can’t take in, but it also spills over Bokuto’s balls, with only more being adding with each moment Akaashi sucks him off. He knows he’s getting close, so Akaashi manages to take a bit more, gagging as he does, but it’s the final push for Bokuto to tip over the edge, a loud moan as he coats Akaashi’s throat in thick seed. It’s bitter and sticky, but that doesn’t stop Akaashi from lapping up any excess that escaped his mouth.

Bokuto’s practically breathless at this point, chest heaving as his hands grab Akaashi, bringing him onto his lap. “That was.. the best orgasm I have ever had,” he just says, smiling when Akaashi flushes. “Let’s see if you can top it,”

“I-I really don’t think—” Akaashi’s cut off when Bokuto pushes two fingers into him, a moan escaping as he lays his head on Bokuto’s shoulder. A small //pop is heard, making Akaashi look down to see a small bottle of lube. It looks like it’s a one time use bottle, but it’s small enough that Bokuto could grab it at any time and he wouldn’t have noticed. Bokuto slathers the cold liquid on his cock, hissing as he makes sure each bit is coated. Then, he moves to make sure Akaashi’s hole is slick enough for the least amount of pain. He hasn’t actually been fucked in so long, he’s not entirely sure how well he’ll take Bokuto, but he’s come too far to stop.

“You ready?” Bokuto asks, voice soft as he whispers into Akaashi’s ear. When Akaashi nods, fingers digging into Bokuto’s shoulders as the tip presses against him, Bokuto kisses his shoulders, easing him down. The stretch is painful and brutal, bringing tears to his eyes, but Bokuto never lets his lips leave his shoulder and neck, kisses as each inch pushes him past new limits. It’s only mere second, but it feels as though it’s an eternity before Akaashi is finally seated against Bokuto, his cock filling him up completely. “How you feelin’?”

“I’m fine. A bit— a bit full, that’s all,” he gives a short, small chuckle, shattering the quiet, romantic atmosphere. He can’t really say he’s quite experienced in this department, seeing as Ichiro only preferred blowjobs and maybe handjobs sometimes. But that’s okay, since Bokuto’s fingers are digging into his ass and lifting him up. A moan is ripped from his throat when he’s forced back down, a squelching noise accompanying him as the lube is squished together.

“Damn, I wish you could see the view,” Bokuto growls out, teeth digging into Akaashi’s neck as he moans from another thrust. Akaashi can only catch a glimpse behind him, but he finally notices the mirror on the back of the door. With wide eyes, he flushed again as he buries his face in Bokuto’s neck, only to then lose that space. Bokuto leans back, flashing a grin as he hands move from Akaashi’s ass to his thighs. Now, he’s straddling. “I’d like to see the view from here, too,”

Akaashi can’t respond, finding his mind muddled and tongue tied as his hands are guided to Bokuto’s chest, blunt fingernails scraping against skin, as Bokuto’s hands slide back to his thighs. A small roll of his hips has Bokuto sighing in approval, using his hands to help Akaashi bounce on his lap. Akaashi at least has good stamina and leg strength, able to move without a majority of Bokuto’s help. Figuring this out, Bokuto moves one of his hands to Akaashi’s cock, as it bounces with each thrust, giving it a squeeze as he pumps it. “Ah, Bokuto-san, n-not—”

“Not there? Is that what you’re going to say?” A harsh thrust up has Akaashi momentarily off balance, but he finds his rhythm again. “You’re so selfless, ‘Kaashi. Trying to give and not willing to take. It’s okay to enjoy yourself, too,” Bokuto says, nothing in his voice giving away he’s exerting energy to thrust into Akaashi and lift him up. “You’ve been like this all night,”

“I-I guess I’m just not u-used to it,” Akaashi manages to get out, albeit in between moans. A frown appears on Bokuto’s face, making Akaashi’s stomach drop as he panics. “I—”

Bokuto’s gone back to sitting up, keeping one hand on Akaashi’s back as he stops thrusting. “It’s your ex, isn’t it?” He simply asks. It’s not much of a question as it is a statement, but Akaashi’s silence and avoidant gaze gives him the answer he knew. A small growl comes from his throat, one that has Akaashi’s mind reeling and panicking, made worse when Bokuto pulls out. Akaashi, however, can’t say a word when Bokuto’s easily turning him around, making him face the mirror, then the feeling of being full comes again.

“You deserve better than that,” Bokuto’s words are similar to Kenma’s, making Akaashi’s eyes blur with tears as his legs are spread wide by Bokuto’s hands. A sudden thrust has his hands flying to the back of Bokuto’s head, digging his fingers into his scalp. “Every compliment your way is deflected because you can’t see what I see, you only see what he made you see,” Bokuto practically sneers as he mentions Ichiro’s presence. The anxiousness and fear in Akaashi’s stomach vanishes instantly when he realizes the anger isn’t towards him. “This way, you can decide with your own eyes what to see,” he finishes, eyes focusing on Akaashi’s in the mirror. With his desires laid out and his goal, he gets rougher with his fucking.

A small change of movement has Akaashi seeing stars, barely able to hold his eyes open, let alone watch himself. A firm demand has his eyes, unfocused and glazed, looking into the mirror as he can only focus on how absolutely wrecked he looks. Bokuto has moved his hands from under Akaashi’s thighs, using the bend of his elbow to bend his legs and brought them towards his shoulders. The new position leaves Akaashi gasping for air, feeling his stomach and lungs under pressure he’s never felt before. But it’s a perfect position for the moment. Bokuto has the strength and energy to thrust up into Akaashi as his arms hold his body in a single position, moving down to meet his thrusts. He doesn’t know where to put his hands, but ultimately decides to wrap them around his cock.

“//Fuck, cum for me, pretty boy,” Bokuto grins, a devilish grin that has Akaashi squeezing down on his cock as he moans, head thrown back as his cum shoots out, staining the hardwood floor and getting on some discarded clothes. A satisfied growl is heard from Bokuto, making Akaashi get weak in the knees as the thrusts get even more brutal. Sure enough, Bokuto’s forcing him all the way down as he moans, filling him up with his own hefty load of cum. A few shallow thrusts have him spending his entire load into Akaashi, the two of them moaning as he pulls out. Once removed, sticky cum oozes from Akaashi. Both are covered in a layer of sweat, exhaustion setting in heavily.

Akaashi is too spent to do much of anything, trying to catch his breath from a forceful orgasm and the rough handling. He enjoyed it, of course, but his body isn’t used to such flexibility. Bokuto is able to move much better, getting them both up and moving to the attached bathroom. Akaashi thinks he’ll prepare a bath, but instead he just sets Akaashi on the counter, getting a towel and washcloth to wet with warm water. He doesn’t seem to mind the mess that Akaashi leaks all over his floors and counter, wiping him as best he can while he uses another cloth to wipe away the sweat.

“How you feeling? Was I too rough?” Bokuto nibbles on his lower lip, looking up at Akaashi, who has mostly caught his breath back.

“A bit too rough, perhaps. I don’t think I’ll be walking tomorrow,” he laughs, but continues when Bokuto frowns. “But I liked it. I wouldn’t mind you using your strength in the future,” he smiles, happy when Bokuto’s frown falls and a smile replaces it.

“I’m so glad,” he says, releasing a heavy sigh. “I was worried I went too far, but I just—”

“I know. It’s alright, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi cuts him off, not wanting to bring up the problem. At least not while Bokuto’s wiping his seed off of Akaashi’s ass and thighs. However, Bokuto frowns again.

“No more ‘Kōtarō’? I got so excited when you called me that, I thought I’d end up spending all night buried inside you,” he practically whines. So shamelessly, in fact, that Akaashi finds himself flustered at his words. “And the way you even said it-!”

“I get it, Bokuto-san!” Akaashi covers his face, getting Bokuto to laugh. Stealing a peek, he finds Bokuto just smiling down at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re so easy to fluster that it’s cute.” Akaashi sighs, dropping his hands as Bokuto leaves him, dropping the washcloths off elsewhere. When he comes back, he’s wearing a fresh pair of boxers and some loose hanging pajama pants. In his hands, another pair of boxers and a shirt to match his pants. “I got you a wardrobe ahead of time, just in case I got too excited and ripped your clothes. I also ordered some pajamas for myself, but the shirt was a bit too tight,” he lets out a soft chuckle when he says that. “I can get you some other clothes if you want,”

“No, that’s fine. We’ll match,” Akaashi’s smile makes Bokuto perk up, making his heart hammer as he finds himself enjoying the energetic and happy Bokuto. Once he’s dressed into the boxers, a perfect fit, and wearing the shirt, he’s being carried back to the bed. Clothes are still strewn across the floor, but the mess he made has been cleaned up. Bokuto doesn’t seem like he has much more energy to spend, preferring to crawl into bed with Akaashi.

“I’m so tired, I’m skipping the gym tomorrow morning,” Bokuto groans, settling himself against Akaashi’s back. With his arm under Akaashi’s head, Akaashi rests his hand near his wrist. His other hand rests on Akaashi’s waist, rubbing in soothing circles.

“I’m not surprised. Champagne and wine will tire you out,” Akaashi’s cut off with a yawn, eyelids drooping. “The tea I had also tires people out, so I’m surprised I didn’t pass out,”

“Wine? What do you— Oh! That wasn’t wine! It was actually grape juice,” Bokuto says, making Akaashi turn to look at him. “I don’t like the taste of alcohol, usually only drinking sweet drinks that have little to not burn. The champagne was something I’ve had before, so I knew it was sweet. But it was more so an experiment, I guess? I noticed you seemed to get more tense when I ordered a bottle of champagne, so I wanted to see if you didn’t like the idea of me drinking. I’m guessing bad experiences?”

“I didn’t know you noticed,” Akaashi mumbles, still looking at Bokuto. He just shrugs in response, completely relaxed as he holds Akaashi close.

“I told you, didn’t I? I’m good at reading people,” he then presses his head to Akaashi’s. “I also know you’re hesitant to tell me if you don’t like something, you fiddle with your fingers, just like how you fiddle with them when we have different tastes and interests in things,”

“Cannot believe you remember stuff from our first date,” Akaashi just says, but says nothing else. Bokuto doesn’t seem like talking much either, rubbing Akaashi’s back as they both drift off to sleep.

#Birdie’s Bokuto Week 2021 #Bokuto Week #Mr. Kōtarō #Mr. Keiji #bokuaka smut #BB.Kinky #haikyuu smut #tw.alcohol #tw.abuse #tw.drugs #tw.smoking #tw.eating #tw.food #tw.manhandling

[thr-333]

Drastic Measures- Part 5

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Sweater~

Shoves romance to the side and shoves friendship in your face!!!

Ao3

First< Previous > Next

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“Marinette,” Adrien whines as she opens the curtain the second they get back, “Sleep,”

“Just a minute, I want to design Damian something,” Marinette takes up residence at the desk, throwing open her sketchbook, “I will be friends with him!”

“Wasn't he kind of a jerk to you?” Adrien flops onto the bed, Plagg rig after him, "I think we should go back to that point, maybe sleep on it,"

“You were a jerk too~” Marinette sing-songs finishing up a rough sketch of a sweater.

“I was trying to get the gum off your seat!” Adrien slams his hands down.

“Sure you were~”

“Mariiiiiii,” Adrien collapses back into the bed covers, muffling his whining.

“Come on you,” Marinette collects her sketchbook, “Come get material with me,”

“No, it’s time to sleep,”

“It’s midday,”

“Your point?”

"Ok, Plagg 2.0 should I get you some camembert while I'm out too?"

"I'm up!" Adrien sits bolt upright, "Never call me that again,"

Marinette ends up dragging Adrien out of the mansion he pouts as Alfred delivers them into the city she thanks him profusely.

“We were just in the city why didn’t you pick up fabric then?” Adrien walks by her side down the street.

“Because I’m stuck between 2 concepts and I need to see the fabric before going forward,” Marinette bounces along looking through the windows there are quite a few craft shops in the area which suits her just fine.

“Please don’t run off,” Adrien gently holds her sleeve, “Marinette this city…”

“It’s filled with a dark energy,” Marinette agrees, even in this nicer area had something ominous hanging over it, “It’s like it’s seeped into the city’s very bones,”

“And the Akuma aren’t helping things,” A child across the street starts crying and they both instinctively lookout.

“On the plus side at least hawkmoth doesn't send Akuma after every little thing,” Marinette forces herself to relax, moving on as the kids parents comfort them.

“On the downside, he sends them after emotions that are a lot worse,” Adrien follows along into a store as Marinette filters through the shelves.

“Maybe but we can handle this,” Marinette absent-mindedly raises her fist, meeting Adreins, “Do you think I should make something for everyone, you know as a thank you?”

“I haven't gotten them anything,” Adrien takes the armful of fabric Marinette passes him as she brings out her sketchbook to select old designs.

“I’ll handle the making,” Marinette ticks off a vest she thinks with be perfect for Bruce, “And you handle the finances,”

“I stole my father's credit card,” Adrien says with a grin, “He’ll probably find out where I am soon anyway so might as well start using it,”

“In that case,” Marinette pulls out a roll of incredibly expensive fabric, “We also need new phones,”

“And we should go out for lunch,”

“Get our hair done?” Marinette adds, looking at her half hacked off hair “I still need to fix mine from this,”

“I was thinking our room could use a chair?”

“And the bookshelf is looking a bit empty,”

“A nice expensive rug would really liven up the room,”

“Would it be completely inappropriate to get a motorcycle?”

“Yes,” Adrien agrees, “Let's do it,”

They stop to get new phones first, having destroyed their old ones when they ran away. Adrien finds the most expensive restaurant in town, but it's on the far end so they stop to get a motorcycle first.

“I didn’t know you could ride,” Adrien gestures for the waiter in their private room, “Yes can I please have the duck?”

“My Nona taught me,” Marinette sips at the most expensive drink she can legally buy, “I thought you hated duck?”

“Oh I do,” Adrien grins, which drops when his phone starts ringing, “How did he even get this number?”

Marinette looks over his shoulder to see Gabriel trying to call. Adrien purposefully hangs up rolling his eyes.

“We should go do our hair next,” Adrien leans over the table with a manic grin, ”I was thinking of dying it hot pink,”

“Love the concept,” Marinette cringes at the very thought, “But the execution is flawed, you need to dye it a color you actually like not one just to spite your father otherwise he's still just controlling your life, just in a different way,”

“You're right,” Adrien sighs leaning back examining his blonde locks, “What do you think?”

“A nice pastel or cherry blossom pink would look amazing,” Adrien perks up at the suggestion he can still keep the pink, “Actually I might do that too- oh wait! Will that affect our transformation?”

“Not unless you really want to deep down,” Tikki explains, her and Plagg gorging themselves on expensive cheese and treats.

“Well deep down I really don't want to give away our identities like this,”

“It’s a plan then,” Adrien smiles, “Now do you want to order anything else?”

“Thanks but I’m full,”

“What's that got to do with anything?”

 ---

 “Looks great Nette,” Adrien gives her a side hug, the hairdresser shooing him away while he does the final touch-ups.

“Are you talking to me or yourself?” Marinette smiles at the new and improved shock of pink hair.

“Well obviously I look fabulous, but you look great too,” Marinette rolls her eyes at him looking back in the mirror. Instead of evening out her hair, they had made it look like her little episode was actually intentional giving it nice layers and even doing an undercut on the other side. Unlike Adrien, she didn't go all pink, instead the tips being white ombre up to pink and then her natural hair color.

“Thanks, you have to send a picture of your hair to Nino he's more invested in your teenage rebellion than you are, he’s probably also hurt you left him out of the running away part,”

“He has suggested, more than once, running away together,”

“Why what's wrong with Nino's family?”

“Nothing at all,” Adrien quickly covers, “I think he just really wanted me to run away, his mum offered to pack us lunches,”

“Well, maybe we could have used the turtle,” Marinette sighs, “But I could do that to Nino, you already had to leave Kagami behind, have you given her a call yet?”

“Oh um, about that-" Adrien points at her tapping his chin thoughtfully, "Never mention it again,”

“Adrien,” Marinette scowls, “Call your girlfriend,”

“She’ll kill me,” Adrien hides partly behind a seat looking meek, “Also you don't get to lecture me, you haven't called your parents,”

“That's different,” Marinette groans sinking into the seat, only to get told off for moving, “They’ll want me to come home, how am I supposed to explain that I can’t,”

“They’re your parents,” Adrien stresses, “I’m sure they’ll be happy enough to know your ok,”

“Maybe,” Marinette hums, the cloth being removed from her shoulders letting her get up, “I just feel so bad for putting them through this,”

“Maybe one day they’ll understand,” Adrien walks with her to the front to pay.

“Maybe,” Marinette looks down at the bill, “Wow this is a lot more expensive than the usual dye job,”

Made sense because they were in the higher income distinct of the city.

“Why Marinette,” Adrien grins swiping the card, “That's the point,”

Ten minutes later they were laughing as calls kept pouring in one after the other. They are only interrupted when they get the distinct feeling of an Akuma.

“Duty calls,” Adrien sighs putting his phone on silent.

“Seems so, at least we can call out skills multiple times," Marinette walks casually into an alley with him, “What are you up to?”

“About three,” Adrien shrugs transforming, “It takes about double the time for the transformation to drop now,”

“Same, wish I could say that gives us the edge but really it only keeps us from falling off the cliff,” Marinette also transforms, her new costume bringing a smile to her face.

“How eloquent my lady,” Marinette playfully pushes him, Chat catches himself catapulting over the building, she quickly follows behind.

The Akuma is standard, Marinette guesses the akumatized item is the wrist watch. The problem comes with their recurring thorn in her side.

“Ladybug-”

“Get out of the city,” She cuts Batman off, “Yeah, yeah let us handle this first,”

Marinette throws her yoyo out just in time to deflect an attack headed at Chat.

“Do you need any help?” Robin asks, Marinette smiles, partly at the aghast face Batman makes.

“Do you think you could tag-team it with me?” She asks formulating a plan, with the extra help she might not need the lucky charm, “Make your attacks big and draw his attention, grab the wristwatch if you can,”

“On it,” Robin gives her a nod jumping into the fray, Ladybug doesn't give batman a chance to object running after.

Robin does a good job they work in perfect sync falling back when the other moves to make an attack. When the Akuma focuses on them too much Chat swoops in and gets their attention giving them the chance to swipe at the wristwatch. It goes on she sees Robin get thrown back after another failed swipe at the wristwatch. Ladybug takes the chance to move forward grabbing for the wrist, she isn't watching out for the other arm, the impact hitting and sending her flying back.

“I got you,” Her momentum is stopped by a hand bracing at her back, saving her from crashing into the adjacent building.

“Thanks, Robin,” He helps steady her as she finds her footing again, “I’ll move in you follow me up,”

“No need,” He smirks brandishing the watch.

“You did it,” Ladybug beams, taking the watch and smashing it to the ground, “Great job!”

“Ah, thanks,” Ladybug doesn't pay attention to how Robin brushes, focusing on purifying the Akuma and fixing the damage.

“We made a pretty good team,” Ladybug turns to Robin when everything is settled, “Pound it,”

Robin meets her fist with some hesitance, which disappears when she smiles at him again.

“Ladybug!” Batman yells heading their way.

“Ops sorry,” Ladybug cringes, “Sorry! Cant stop gotta go, bye bye!”

They run from the scene faster than Batman can hope to catch them. They end up back at her newly brought bike stacked with fabric and protected by a bit of luck. Marinette races home to make everyone's gifts, knowing just who she wanted to start with.

 ---

 “There you are!” Marinette exclaims, having spent the past half hour searching the manor for him.

“What do you want?” Damian snaps as if he wasn't just playing with the cat on the floor half a second ago.

“Nothing, I made something for you~” He continues to scowl but Marinette doesn't let it discourage her, “Here, I didn’t know your size so I made a baggier style, do you like it?”

Damian takes the sweater holding it up to where she put it on him looking down a little shocked. Marinette almost wants to laugh at the expressions trying to shift back from awe to disinterest, it’s cute. She smiles wondering what his face would look like if she made a matching one for the cat, and maybe Titus too.

“.... It’s well made,” Damian eventually allows, folding it over his arm, Marinette notices how his fingers linger on the soft fabric.

“Good to know,” She smiles, bidding him goodbye before the moment can be ruined. She bounces down the hall humming to herself.

“Someone's happy,” Tikki flies out of her bag.

“He liked it, why wouldn't I be happy?”

“Someones really happy,”

“Stop it Tikki,” Marinette giggles, making the kwami laugh in turn.

“Just like adrien~” Tikki sing songs floating down the hall ahead of her.

“Well then, keep Kagami far away from this one,”

“Don’t turn into a stuttering mess and we have a deal,” Tikki agrees.

“Please Tikki I’m not thirteen anymore,” Marinette brushes her off, ready to go make the others gifts, if she spent the whole time humming to herself Tikki wasn't going to explain why to Adrien.

---------

Taglist? nope don’t have one, horrible at keeping track of them sorry~

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug fic #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #ml fic #ML #MLB #Marinette #miraculous marinette #badass marinette #maribat #daminette

[god-save-the-keen]

STC: Save the crazy

STC: save the crazy

Book: Save the date

Pairing: no one, it's mc (Lauren) personality from the view of her best friend, Alison.

Summary: Lauren always was a person hard to deal with, but things are scaling a new level of craziness

Warning: If you like STD, don't read it. If you like MC and Justin, don't read it. It's shows mc like a crazy lady that I actually I feel she is. If you want to laugh or just see something bad about STD, this fic is for you. To be honest I hate this mc and I hate this book.

Words: 1299

Note: English it's not my first language, so let me know if there's something wired here.

Alison couldn’t think a time of her life where she wasn’t Lauren's best friend. They went to middle school, high school and even college together. She was always… Eccentric, living in her own world, but Alison love her anyway. When someone asked her in what point everything went wrong with Lauren, she honestly wasn’t sure. It was all abruptly or so slowly that she didn’t notice when her friend started to get lost? Her little cute fantasies that they both shared and enjoyed as child, still were in her head, that funny abrupt reactions when she was happy, nervous or mad, started to be more frequent and violent.

Before started to work in finance, she worked as assistant for a pintor. Alison was happy for her, Lauren started to go to exclusive art events, galleries, museums, met amazing people and places. Alison used to said that she was the Andrea of the Miranda Priestly of the art. One day, after work, they went to a pud to enjoy the Happy hour and decide to order some elaborate fancy cocktails because, why the hell not, right? They were chatting, Lauren complaining about her day, apparently a stressful one, when the bartender brought the drinks. Alison tried hers and love it, her Martini was perfect! James Bond was wrong, stirred was obviously the best way to drink a Martini. Lauren, however, frowned and looked at the bartender in a strange way.

“What it’s this? This is NOT what I ordered!” Her voice a little to much cold for the situation. “I asked for a Cosmopolitan with citrus vodka, this is just regular”

“Miss, I can assure this have citrus vodka, as the classic Cosmopolitan recipe is” he said with a very tense smile. Honestly, who can blame him? Lauren’s face was the same she always did when she hits her little finger.

“This is unavailable!! What kind of bartender are you?!” She was yelling while she started to stand up from the chair. 

“Look lady, I can assure this was made with citrus vodka, if you don’t want it, you don’t have to drink it, but I have another costumers waiting for me.” He started to leave to a group of friends at the end of the bar when Lauren started to follow him.

“You know what?! It’s true, I don’t have to drink it!!” And threw her glass at the bartender's head, luckily, the guy was fast and ducked before the glass hited him. Before anyone could reacted, she grabbed her purse and goes angrily to the door.

Alison payed for both cocktails, with a huge tip for the bartender, God knows he deserved it, and went outside looking for Lauren. She found her waiting for a cab in the next corner.

“What the hell was that Lauren?!” Alison was mad. She just wanted have a nice drink and relaxed after a hard day at work.

“Whatever” and she took the cab without even said goodbye. Next morning Lauren texted her like nothing happens. 

The few next week’s after that everything seems to be fine, though Lauren still had excessive reactions, none like the one in the bar. Until the party of the painter came, and with that the first fired. Short version: oil painting don’t look good as hats. 

After that, she started working in a financial company and eventually met Dale, although Alison didn’t like him she learned to deal with it… He seems to made her happy and every time she tried to talked about him with Lauren, she started screaming or just leave. Their relationship scaled way to fast and, for Allison surprise, Dale proposed Lauren 3 months later. And for her even bigger surprise, she said yes. So the organization of the wedding begin. As the big day approached, Lauren was increasingly changing, one moment she was happy, singing some peppy pop song, and the next moment, crying over the most tiny thing. Alison thought it was the pre wedding jitters… Or at least she hoped it was that. A top of all that, Dale was acting wired and wired, but, like always Lauren didn’t wanted to hear nothing about it. 

The day finally come, the happy couple was in the altar and everything seems to be okay... For a second. Before Bitsy stop de wedding and declared her love for Dale. Really? Dale had two woman’s interested in him? Alison thought that was pretty crazy. She was expecting Lauren started to yell or even do a more… er… physical approach. She kept looking at her and just a few words come from her, her friend was so destroyed to do anything? When they talked about this later, she told her that while everything was happening, she was imagining in her head at least 10 ways to hurt Dale and Bitsy… totally normal thing to do… right? After Dale and Bitsy leave the church, Alison rushed to Lauren and hugged her while her friend remind frozen… Again, for a second. Next she knows it’s that Lauren pushed her and started to destroy every single decoration she could find, she yelled to Dale's parents, the 80 and something couple probably still have nightmares about it and storms off. But it was the typical reaction of someone in her position… right? Alison wasn’t so sure at this point. 

From that moment, Lauren didn’t care anything anymore, she was focus on her job, which was a good thing, except she let her boss take all the credit. Her extrem reactions continued happing and Allison was scared that what could happen when her frustration peaked. 

After eighteen months of dating with Sam, he proposed to Alison and she said yes. A thousand times yes. In her mind it wasn’tno doubt that Lauren have to be her maid of honour and couldn’t wait to tell her. They went to a bar, order some cocktails, that hopefully didn’t went to anyone's head this time, and Alison approached the subject the best she can.

“Sooo, are you gonna be busy the next few months?” she said studying Lauren’s reaction.

“Huh? What do you—“ She saw the ring. “You and Sam…?” her voice was neutral.

“Yeeeessss! And I want you as my maid of honor!” 

Lauren looked her for a hole minute before smile and hug her. “Of course I would be your maid of honor! I already have so many ideas! But all surprises for you, my friend!” Alison's smile faltered. After all, it was her wedding and she wanted do things in her own way. Maybe… this wasn’ta goods idea.

Six months later, and thanks to her and Sam's mothers that kept Lauren under control, the wedding day comes and everything was perfect. Alison felt more happy that never, everything was beautiful, Sam looked her like she was the most perfect thing in the world, Lauren dancing with the best man… Lauren dancing with Justin? That wasn’t good. Justin was the most toxic person she ever met. When Sam and she told him about the wedding, he laughed .

“Oh, you are serious” They both stared at him. “This is a bad idea, you know that right” She stand up and left. Either way, he was the best man, he was dancing with Lauren and she couldn’tdo nothing about it. Next day they saw each other in Lauren’s work, where after exposed her boss she started to scream and put garlic bread in his mouth, Justin fired her. Short version: tables should have their legs on ground. Second fire. At the end of the day she started to work as wedding planner for Justin sister. Alison was worried that, this time, Lauren’stake her fantasy world and extreme reactions in a new level. Only God knows how that it will end.

❣️

#play choices #choices stories you play #choices save the date #choices std #std justin #std mc #choices fanfics #choices fanfiction #justin x mc #simon x mc #lindsay x mc

[sims3morgans]

Siblings Interview Tag

I was tagged by @dreamsongsims​ Thank you! It was fun to write dialogue for Olwyn and Bethan, I’ve not done that before because of the style of my blog. I got a little bit carried away, hope you enjoy!

Tagging: @simcatcher​

Interview under the cut...

The following is part of the transcript of an interview with the Morgan Sisters, following the publication of Olwyn Morgan’s second book. Under her pseudonym Octavia Morrigan, Olwyn has had incredible success but has until refused all calls for media interviews. She agreed to this one for International Sisters Day so long as her sister Bethan could join us.

1. Which one of you is the older sibling?

Bethan: That would be Olwyn.

Interviewer: Do you remember a time before Bethan came along Olwyn?

Olwyn: I do, but only just. My earliest memory is watching my parents renew their vows when I was a toddler. After that I hadn’t long aged up into a child when Bethan was born – so I haven’t got many memories without her.”

2. What do you like about your sibling?

Interviewer: Bethan, would you like to start?

Bethan: Sure. Okay so the first thing you need to know about Olwyn is she’s kind. And patient. I’ve seen that my whole life, she’s been the perfect big sister, balancing me out – I’m a little more abrupt I guess.  But as I’ve got older I’ve seen she’s got a wicked streak too. She kept her success as an author a secret but played with us by buying expensive presents… I knew my prom dress was hella expensive but I couldn’t prove it! Oh yeah, so she’s generous too.

Interviewer: And you Olwyn?

Olwyn: Bethan is patient in her own way too. When we were children she tried  hard to help me out of my shell, I was so shy you see. What I really admire in her though is the way she feels things so deeply. I can remove myself form my feelings a bit, but Bethan really feels whatever she’s feeling. Love, hate, loyalty… it’s wonderful.

3. What annoys you about your sibling?

//Bethan glances at Olwyn, she’s grinning.//

Bethan: Olwyn?

Olwyn: Bethan can be a bit… well sometimes she….

Bethan: I’m a bit much!

Olwyn, smiling: Exactly. When a family friend was living with us, back when we lived in Bridgeport.

Bethan: That ****.

Olwyn: Bethan! You see? Well sometimes she feels things so deeply she actually makes the situation worse. A***** (name redacted) was being unpleasant to me personally, but the three of us shared a room. The smart thing to do was to swallow our feelings so we could rub along in those small quarters – Bethan took against him and created an atmosphere.

//Bethan rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair.//

Bethan: A***** (name redacted) was a ****. Whatever. You know what annoys me about you Olwyn? You’re too easy going. You forgive people, and let them walk all over you. If I ever see A***** again, he won’t know what’s hit him.

4. Describe your sibling(s) with three adjectives.

Bethan: Olwyn is serene, kind, and unaccountably humble.

//Olwyn appears touched, her hand on her chest.//

Olwyn: Thank you. I would say that Bethan is earnest, adaptable and loyal.

5. What is your sibling’s/siblings’ biggest talent(s)?

Bethan: Oh that’s easy, she’s an amazing author! I loved her work even before I knew she was the one writing it.

Olwyn: Thank you Bethan, it was quite tough listening to you speculate about the plot for the sequel, you had it all so wrong! But anyway.  Bethan’s biggest talent is her ability to see the diamond in the rough. She does it at work, finding scrap to turn into art, but also in people. She’s see’s inside people instinctively, and often brings out the best in them just by being herself.

//Bethan’s mouth drops open.//

Bethan: I… Olwyn. I… that’s beautiful.

//Olwyn shrugs.//

Olwyn: It’s what you do.

6. What is your sibling(s) really bad at?

Olwyn: Bethan can’t always see very far ahead. She lives in the moment you know? She can be so fixated on doing what she’s doing the consequences escape her.

Bethan: Oh so you’re bringing up the swimming thing again…

Olwyn: I…

Bethan: Okay, I swam too far out into Bridgeport River. I was having fun!

Olwyn: Bethan it’s all water under the bridge.

//Bethan pauses, then grins.//

Bethan: That was terrible. Right, okay so Olwyn is really bad at gardening. Mum and Dad, their whole livelihood is gardening and Olwyn’s been trying to help them since she was a kid but they’ve never had the heart to tell her how bad she is at it!

Olwyn: They all look the same! How you can tell a shoot from a weed…

7. Do you have nicknames for each other?

Bethan: No not really. We don’t do that in our family I guess. Olwyn would you..?

Olwyn: Yes I agree. Both our names are quite short so we’ve not needed to shorten them further, and silly nicknames… no – it’s not for us.

8. What’s one thing you can do that your sibling(s) can’t?

Olwyn: Bethan’s not really at home in the kitchen. I can cook quite well, I do a nice ratatouille. Which is just as well we eat a lot of vegetables. We were quite poor for a long time you see, sometimes we only had the vegetables we’d grown ourselves to eat, for weeks at a time. You learn to make the most of what you have.

Bethan: I paint – I don’t know if Olwyn’s ever picked up a paintbrush! I did a few for her side of the bedroom because she was going to be satisfied with bare walls.

9. Did you get along when you were younger?

Bethan: We did. We’re fairly different Sims, but we got along very well.

Olwyn: We had to I think. Our bedroom in Bridgeport was so small… any arguments could have got nasty. Maybe being so different was our saving grace, less conflict?

10. What is your funniest childhood memory of your sibling?

Olwyn: Bethan was a treasure trove of funny moments, I think she put it on a bit to lighten tension. When we were both children, she had this signature pratfall off the climbing frame at school – cracked me up every time!

Bethan: Looking back, there’s loads of moments where Olwyn was being really funny but in her understated way you know? I think for me it’s when we were both teens and we had this really nasty teacher for music class. Neither of us are musical, so she was pretty mean to us. Olwyn would insist in smiling sweetly and saying “See you next Tuesday” to her after every lesson. Cracked us all up, because we weren’t sure whether the good girl Olwyn knew what she was saying! Mrs Bridey wasn’t sure either – her eyes would bug out!

Olwyn: Oh I definitely knew what I was saying.

11. Are you closer now or when you were younger?

Bethan: Physically obviously we were closer when we were younger. Not living together does limit things! I miss Olwyn’s cooking, and chatting over breakfast… but we’re still close.

Olwyn: I think we have that kind of relationship where you might not see each other for a couple of weeks, but when you do it’s like you’ve never been apart. We’re not brittle, we’re sisters and friends and no amount of time apart could change that. We’re young adults now, and making our own lives, and we’re confident enough in our relationship to give each other the space to do that.

Bethan: Ugh, Olwyn you always say things so nice!”

Olwyn: I am a wordsmith Bethan!

12. Did you compete with each other?

Bethan: Nope.

Olwyn: No, not really. We built each other up.

13. Which one of you is more likely to turn out like your mum or dad?

Olwyn: Well neither of us is particularly interested in vegetables…

Bethan: Olwyn! She means like, emotionally and stuff.”

Olwyn: Oh of course. Well we’ve both inherited a strong sense of family being important from them. Of sticking together, and helping each other out. Financially, emotionally, we’re a team.

Bethan: Right. Olwyn’s got it in one – family is more important than anything. Than money, than fame… it’s everything.

14. Which one is most likely to have a big family?

Both at the same time: “Bethan.” “Olwyn.”

//The sisters look at each other, both surprised by the others answer.//

Interviewer: Hmm, moving on…

15. What is one thing about your sibling(s) that has changed as you’ve gotten older?

Olwyn: Bethan where’s her hair down sometimes now. It’s been in a ponytail since she was old enough to reach behind her head to tie it up! But I guess she’s also more secure in herself. You seemed to want to prove yourself when we were younger Bethan, you still have drive and ambition but the edge to it has softened.

//Bethan nods.//

Bethan: I guess I can see that. I was desperate to help the family with our finances, then I was desperate to make a connection with a boy – any boy! I think the urgency wore off both those things, and I was much happier for it.

And you Olwyn, I think you’ve found your niche. In Bridgeport you never really fit in anywhere, but here in Appaloosa Plains you’ve found friends and  - oh I dunno. You just really seem to belong here.”

16. Who’s better at math?

Olwyn: Bethan.

Bethan: Yep, definitely me.

17. Who is more pessimistic and who is more optimistic?

Bethan: We’re both optimists, but it comes out differently I think. Olwyn finds the silver lining in any situation, so is happy to sit in it even if it’s actually not that great. I look at a situation and look for ways to make things better, or move things along at least.

18. Is there anything you don’t like doing together?

Olwyn: I don’t think we’ve ever gone drinking together, I’m not sure if it’s because Bethan and I don’t want to or just haven’t…

Bethan: Hey that’s right! And a lot of our friends overlap. Weird.

19. Which one of you do you think will get married first?

Olwyn: Bethan, things are looking pretty serious with her and Calvin..?

Bethan: I’m not sure we’re there yet!

Olwyn: Bethan, you have matching tattoos.

Bethan: Yes but… well he hasn’t asked. And I don’t plan to. Getting married is just so – I mean I love him but… It’s so public! You’ll probably get swept off your feet and marry someone within a season while Calvin and I are still figuring things out.

20. Lastly, how often do you argue?

Olwyn: Not often.

Bethan: Only about the big things, we don’t stress the small stuff. We get that from our dad, he’s pretty easy going.

Olwyn: Whereas mum...

Both laugh

#sisters #interview #sims3morgans #sims #sims story #sims storytelling #transcript #sims 3 #sims 3 screenshots #sims 3 story #ts3 #ts3 simblr #simblr #sims questions #sims q&a

[artgirllullaby]

The truth below this... “me”

So another year huh? And all I did was… mostly be absent.

Come on, I think by this point every single one out there who follow me noticed, either you’re close, far, if you follow for my work, fanfics, or whatever, you saw that last year I did pretty much… nothing.

That comes partially from procrastination, I won’t lie, but… There’s a whole lot that was happening that I kept out to very few, and when I say this I mean that even my parents, brothers and best friends didn’t know some stuff. Only recently I got better to get in contact and talk it out to them and say all the good and the horrible that had been on my mind.

And while I know most want to share the good that happened in 2018, I need to say it wasn’t that good year for me, and to get it out, I want to say it all out and be honest. Then I know there’s nothing I need to hide or be scared of sharing because… if there’s to be known, it’s just to click to read.

That’s why I’m writing this. And because of of the stuff here is very sensible and can be triggering to some, I’m putting on the below. So… avoid the triggers by reading the tags if you have any of them, and if you do but still wish to know how I am, feel free to contact me, ok? I assure things are better now, but if you need a bit more of ease, I don’t mind doing so.

If you decide not to read, just know It’s been a very hard thing on me, but I’m getting better and I’m taking care and getting help and trying my best to keep my hopes and myself up. I’m thankful you cared to read this and I understand if you can’t read any further because of the tags. Thank for considering yourself too and not taking a hit “for my sake”, it makes me actually happy that you consider putting yourself in the position to know where your limits are and to know you can’t go further. Proud of you, little one. If you feel like, don’t think twice before hitting my ask or inbox, ok? Hugs, thanks for being here still.

#personal #me #lullytalks #venting #anxiety #depression #stress #mentalinstability #TW #twseflharming #twsuicide #twanxiety #twdepression #twstress #twgad #twdd #triggering #Triggerwarning

For you who decided to click the button to continue reading anyway, Please remember I’m writing this at once and also that you’re free to stop at any signals of discomfort, unease or triggers. Thank you for taking time to read this anyways.

2018 had been many things, it had been fun and tiring and stressful, and even enjoyable for a bit. But as many other stuff in life, when silence keeps to long it can be taken as a bad omen to bad happenings.

If you ever played Jenga, then you know how it works; if you don’t, it’s basically taking a piece on the base and putting on top and hoping that it doesn’t break down in your turn. Which in the game is fun because you have to think over your decision to what piece to move and not move the tower and the pressure you have makes it fun… In real life? makes you wonder “why one takes the weight in the base of a structure to move to the top if that overweights the top which will obviously make the project/structure fail because the base cannot hold that weight and so it will go down eventually?!”

And well, that was my in 2018, a whole big game of Jenga in which my life are the pieces, and people around me are players as me and the game is ok to everyone but me.

Some of you know, I had a co-worker who had been basically unbearable to work with from the moment she found herself pregnant, and by the law the company can’t fire her until her baby is born and a bit older (around 6-7 months older she gets the licensed and secured), and so after her time secured was over the company did fire her because of her behaviour borderline toxic/abusive toward others. Things finally where getting a bit better with the substitute and things going better in company.

I had been having difficulties with my mother, who has becoming more controlling and hovering over me. If wasn’t enough our communication that was bad begins to go to ruin to worse, rotting to the point I’m back to when I was 15 and I saw her as a stranger. I try to change and get closer. Here is the funny thing about relationships, if doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, a lover, your soulmate, your husband, your sister, your parent, your cousin, your godmother, your father-in-law or whatever that person means to you, as an universal law, it takes both parts and effort to make it work and flow.

And there I was, trying to arrange something we do, we try to speak, to voice out things that hurt and annoys me for us to change for better, because that’s how it should work. One speaks, the other listen, then it’s their turn and so after both saying their sides they try to come in a middle term or a point they can agree on to live better and no one is bitter over the matter.

But that was not what happens. Mom takes the cards I lay on the table and use against me, she takes things on the past against me, she flips the table and now she’s being accused and she’s the victim and I’m the one who’s blind to see how hard she tries to make us all happy and ungrateful, on how I keep pulling distance and I stop talking and avoid talking. I’m the one who doesn’t know she gave up her college, to work and make an career on her own, that father comes tired and deserves to rest for working hard everyday to never miss anything at home, and that she has to bare my sister OCD and ADHD while I’m not there, that she has to keep the house well and do everything… And so, yet again, my voice is cut. I lose courage, my anxiety rises, and I’m afraid of saying anything to anyone, I’m afraid to be a burden, to bother anyone.

I laid on bed that night in silence as I stare at the blank wall and listen to whatever music is on my playlist. Because I know, I fucking know how much their lives could be different for a number of factors, one of them being the fact if I wasn’t born on the worst timing as I did, I know in numbers how much that could have changed, even if my father makes sure to assure me it’s nothing he regrets or I did wrong, I know it wasn’t planned and I know too, it could have changed everything.

Piece moved by mother, my turn is skipped. The player can’t play with shaking hands.

The temporary at work was dismissed, not because someone was finally contracted, but because the boss thought we could do without it. Now, how a company survive without it finances department? Yep, it doesn’t. So they pick someone they think they can reply on to do the job, and then guess what? There I am. Working with numbers and money and it’s stressing more and more since I really didn’t applied for this and it does make me nervous. Then I find a list of mistakes the temporary left and I have to fix, plus more work… and meanwhile I am doing that, my own work papers are there waiting in my table just piling up to the moment I finish up and go do them. Which makes me more stressed, because as long I take to do them, the rest of office needs to wait to keep the workflow. So there I am, working for two, being paid for one, getting some extra hours, and getting exhausted.

My boss moves another piece.

Therapist notice I’m getting more stressed, and things had been getting me easier and some triggers are getting back. I’m getting more and more unstable. She makes some tests and takes another look on my whole history with her on the last 2 years, she also takes a look on my medication and notice there was a change for a higher dose, and now it’s twice a day. She’s worried, she tell my parents to show up and talks to my father (cause mother didn’t show up - a piece of my Jenga went missing), only after a few more sessions she gives me a diagnosis: GAD, aka Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

I’m not progressing in my treatment, in fact, with everything going on with me, I got worse and instead of moving to eventually not need therapy, I need the sessions now more than ever.

My mind moves a base piece, the tower balance a bit.

Things continue going on, everyday begins to be harder and I find myself more tired. Sometimes I get home from work and just take a bath and sleep. I’m missing my appetite, I’m slowly cutting ties with friends and stop talking to them or most of them and taking distance without anyone noticing. I hardly access social media for exceptional to check a thing around here or there. I begin to get anxiety when I try to write once again and begin to be ashamed on myself and my cycle of self-punishment for not being able to write any longer or often, nor I have courage to say anyone besides the therapist all that’s going on.

Even so I try to make an apology and explain at least the part that because I’m working by two and being too stressed and tried is sadly taking out on my creativity, many agree and support and decide to give me the space am I thankful for… Still the two people I considered dearly as readers hurt deeply as I come to known their true meaning. That they already disliked the story on the point it is, that I should have just put as finished and given up and stop writing, and then suddenly other people who I didn’t even know begin to say things on the back and… I just wonder what happened to the respect and honesty I had asked from the beginning. To see so much hate suddenly going out of nowhere was surely discouraging, and on the state I was, I was not only discouraged as I was intimidated to even think on continuing.

Next thing I know is that just as my originals, I am unable to open any of my fanfictions and work on them. I shake, I break down on tears, I get too nervous, I’m unable to concentrate, I begin to question if they were right and if everyone else was just sorry of pitying on me or if they just played along. Then all the files stay in there with the originals, blocked in my unstable mind unable to product anything worthy.

Unknown people move some pieces, the tower shakes.

...

A week can be such a long period of time for some things, and a short for another and sometimes, for the very same reasons. To be fair I still don’t know to say if was a quick or a slow week since there are blanks in my memory and I just have the impact ones. But one thing I can tell for sure, it was a hell of a week.

Monday begins with my mother waking me up and hurrying up to get ready, she still doesn't notice that I’m not well. I try my best to get ready fast as I can, I take my purse to get in the car and get a ride to go to therapy and then go work. I open the door, she already took the car out and look at me; I just have to climb and it will be fine.

She look to me, than take a turn and accelerates the car, so there’s no time for me to catch up. And I am left there with my hand on the door looking on the empty place where I could have climbed the car just by few seconds, but she couldn’t wait because her class was more important than my therapy session. Because her appointment was more important than me in that moment there.

Another piece goes missing.

I’m taken by such sudden sadness and hurt that I wasn’t able to stand or breathe, I stay in the couch for a bit, my sister offer to take me to the therapist in her way to college, I just shake my head. I find out I got no voice, not even strength to talk or even look at her, but she shrugs and go. I somehow make to the bed and lay in there, sleeping. It’s the first time in 3 years I miss a day of work - I didn’t miss even when got sick -, I don’t talk to anyone, I don’t eat, I don’t have water, I don’t go out the bed, I just stay in there and sleep or stare at the blank wall trying to understand what is the feeling inside me. My therapist text me and I lie saying I had a problem, but will show up later in the week.

The next event is after I am able to speak better again, which I’m not sure if was next afternoon or two days. I walk into my therapist office and then find out my health insurance decided to cut the therapy sessions I still had, they want the word of any other doctor saying I do need the therapy and I need to do that in every 3 months or they won’t allow me to continue my treatment. I try to argue with them and reason that I wouldn’t be going if wasn’t necessary, still they say it’s a new rule to everyone so no exceptions. I can’t go to therapy, nor my therapist can treat me out her office, to pay each session it’s out my reach and I already pay for health insurance that should and does cover my treatment, so these rules make absolutely no sense… All I know is that I need my other endocrinologist to give me permission to get treatment, even if there’s nothing to do with her, and the appointment I have is a month away.

Health takes a piece. The tower starts shifting.

I make a huge mistake at work. Because my head isn’t in place I misunderstand the information I am given and end up messing up part of the payment I needed to do. I paid the wrong provider, the other one who does need the payment is stuck and now the central need to find a way to locate the other guy because until the right provider gets the payment he are getting behind track. I get stuck the whole day stuck between fixing my mistake, calming the provider and having to listen silently my boss calling me angrily for a solution.

Work moves a piece. The tower is barely standing.

It takes the next day to put my paperwork in order. the problem of paying the wrong provider still on going, but seems on a way to solution, so I could take a bit of time to focus on getting the work flowing and laughing in a way to avoiding to cry.

Last day of the week, so I can take a bit of rest, I just need hang in there a little bit. Just a few more hours and I could be home so another piece could go missing.

As we get home, my mother gets out. She starts arguing with me and father, ordering we don’t even leave the car, cause my sister needs assistance. I immediately think of the worst as she just is learning to drive and than my father replies it’s not that big deal the car failed her. I am between angry and confused, angry for worrying for a minute that it was something dangerous, confused to why my mother is making such a fuss over the car simply failing on my sister trying to turn it on and making such a fuss on having my father go there.

Things begin to scalates as she raises her voice and begins to argue with him and she tries to calm her, only making her angrier and then threatening to make a scandal and break the car window if he didn’t go. And then changing her mind to do it if he didn’t get out and let her go alone and get out the car.

Neighbors were already starting to look, I was the only in home by them aside the two, tired, getting triggered by all the stress and situation, anxious and then… something snapped.

The tower fell down as I touched to move a piece.

Somehow I took my mother hand and said determined enough for her to get in the car that they both should go. That I wanted them out the house, out of my reach and out the house. She listened by some miracle and I got inside breaking down right after before blanking out.

August 13rd, 2018. I probably won’t ever forget this date. It was a friday, I can remember clearly because it I just had laughed on the irony that it was a friday 13rd and it was being so bad on me at work. It was night and the dog was around me as if he sensed something was wrong… or he just wanted to go for a walk.

Things are blank, as if for the moment I broke down I wasn’t really there, like wasn’t me in my body, or taking control, or too shocked and overwhelmed to notice anything and just let it move and do whatever my brain decided it was best to.

Now that I used Jenga example I find it as a perfect example to explain that blank moment. It’s the moment a player found themselves holding or just after placing the piece and everything comes tumbling down, there’s a paralyzing moment that everyone around stay still in shock watching the tower fall in a mix of wonder and confusion to move only after all the pieces stopped to fall, then you and others try to evaluate how it failed the strategy before picking the pieces around to put the Jenga together again for another round.

That was that blank moment, the moment of wonder and confusion, of complete loss in which I lose myself and the control to the point I don’t even remember how things happened exactly.

All I know is that suddenly I had a knife on my hand and was standing on my kitchen and looking on my other arm.

;

I took one breath, I had went to the kitchen and started to something to relief myself. I took a second breath, I decided to hurt myself because the punishment of all my wrongs seemed like a way to relief back then. I took a third breath, I was just about to cut myself; I don’t know if would be a deep cut on my wrist, arms, lightly or whatever, but definitely wasn’t a good thing that I was up to take hurting myself to that point, and worse, to have no idea on how far I would have gone if I just suddenly get back into my senses in that seconds. I took another breath, I put the knife back in the drawer and close it.

I start to cry again, but for another reason.

Because it had been 10 years. Ten fucking years I had celebrated and considered successful just to find it this demon back again on me. I’m not just depressed and anxious as I thought. I’m back to when I was 15, in this very same kitchen when I sat in the table with a knife on a hand and a bunch of mixed medicines on the other side as I watched the clock and decided when I would put the end.

I’m suicidal again.

;

It’s enough, and I’m done. I just… couldn’t. I put myself on bed, in a way of self-grounding, I decide I will not leave the bed for the next days or talk to anyone unless necessary. And I did well, because I seriously had no idea what I would be able to do if I left that bed in the state I was.

Only in the third day I speak to my closest friends about it all and get some relief, I listen to music to try keep my heart from failing me. I am unable to be back on me again for months, I get back on therapy. I get diagnosis that my depression got in the stage of Deep Depression and at this point, my therapist alone isn’t able to do much alone. I’m somewhere between trying to recover and accepting things are just as they are. She recommends me to get assistance in a group with my family and send to my father, I decide to give a try even if not giving much hope.

My father doesn’t receive the message. Therapist mistook for my mother number and sent to her, my mother dismiss the message and says it’s no big deal and I should not mind about it. I feel hurt she dismissed so easily without talking or even looking up to it, but on the other side I’m also accepting the fact she doesn’t take me as her daughter anymore. And little by little I realize that’s not just something from my mind, as she doesn’t talk that much with me, but with a friend she has with my age and often tries and offer help to her, and then there’s me there. I set in my mind I need to leave home so she can take the daughter she wants to adopt in, and because I need my own air.

My father realizes I’m not well and that my relationship with mother is going from bad to worse to even breaking. He tries to help, my therapist call her in once again to try warn her and tell her. She avoids and miss the meet ups just like a thief runs from the police, and I decide that if she’s not even trying at all, then I won’t either.

My medicine changes to twice a day, I’m still bad, but with therapy back I’m getting a bit better by the days. I decide to travel alone in my vacation to somewhere new and where I know no one and no one knows me.

So I find myself in Curitiba in December.

The city is pretty and with gentle people with smiles and colors around, or so I’ve seen. Maybe it was the feeling that I had space for myself, that I could take a breath and not worry about it. Which also led myself to taking a walk in the grass.

Bad things happened still, true, but to be sincerely? The worst has passed for now, other still to come and, it’s ok in a way. I’ll fall down and cry and be on the ground for a while as I need, and then take my time to recover and look up and be able to talk about too.

So it may had been I took a blind eye to the world and to the rest of you, but the truth is that I don’t. But it’s hard to discuss when there’s too much pain and hurt inside you. and as much it was egoist of me to focus on myself and turn my back to the world, sometimes is necessary. and I learned that now, sometimes it is necessary to be egoist in reason to get better and it’s ok, as long you do get better and know where are your principles.

Taking the trip made me realize that. It also make me realize that taking a time away for yourself, taking a bit to breathe is ok. That my absence in order to not hurt anyone else might have been a void, but was a void necessary for me. I needed to relearn that taking a time to walk on the grass, to look in the sky, take a breath, to look around and take a moment in life… to do any of that wouldn’t destroy the world or anyone else.

The world wouldn’t end because I needed a break. No one would die because I wasn’t able to finish or accomplish something as I wish, just as no one died so far. the one one who has been dying with all this it had been me, killing myself slowly inside out.

Now I do realize that. I’m still far from recovering, I do realize that and know very well, I still have depression episodes and anxiety attacks often, I’m still on a long way to say I’m alright. Maybe I’m never gonna be 100% fine or sane per say, maybe some part of me will always have anxiety and depression because of my brain or whatever but… I hope in that in my lowest moments I am able to look at this moment where Lullaby wrote this about the real me and I can remember to step down a bit.

I’m 25 now, I celebrated 10 years over giving up on suicide when I was 15, and after that… even if I still have suicidal traces for now and dealing with them, and even if I had a recent episode… I guess I can celebrate and count over again, so in ten year I can celebrate 2 times, right? This may be stupid and sound optimist but really… It’s just me trying to take the needle of good in the pile of garbage this all had been. Doesn’t erase the garbage and all it had been, just... trying to desperately find a little thing useful so I can say it wasn’t all Hell and throw it away like I did with my teenage years.

So this is it. I was absent and I’m recovering, right now I’m trying to get on track of writing and reading again. I am 25, diagnosed with Deep Depression, GAD, I have to take medicine to keep in control. I have to change jobs and hope to do soon. I try as much to listen and comfort everyone and make laughs because the last I want if to anyone else to feel the way I do.

And with that being said, I can breathe out and finally put the last year as it is: the past.

As I always say, let’s prepare for the bad and always hope for the best, and onwards to 2019. :)

#personal #me #lullytalks #venting #anxiety #depression #stress #mentalinstability #TW #twseflharming #twsuicide #twsuicidal #tw: suidice #tw: suicidal thoughs #twanxiety #twdepression #triggering #triggerwarning #triger warning

[sightful-tangents]

january 1, 2020

Hi friends. It’s been a while, hasn’t it. I usually try and write something once a month or so but obviously I dropped the ball last year.

Can you believe it’s 2020? I think each year I start taking my resolutions more and more seriously. It’s one of those long-term commitments that I’ve found deeply rewarding just because of the passage of time. Simply with setting goals and the year passing by (for like, 5 years now) makes me excited with each coming year to think about what I want to accomplish, and how I want to shape my life.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. My 2020 themes note has been living in my phone for months now, but we’re here for the 2019 retrospective (original post here). It’s been quite a year. Here we go, on how I did.

THE BIG ONE

1. Put down roots. This resolution was three-pronged: a sturdy mental foundation, a sense of belonging in a place, and a feeling of belonging with people. I think I mostly accomplished that - my mental health (minus a very very stressful 1.5 months at work) has been mostly good, bolstered by well-timed vacations that cleared my head SO well (ugh, I *need* these breaks , that’s what I learned). I’ve been living in my basement for a bit over a year now and my space is coming together. I’m starting to really like being at home and in my space and feeling comfortable and content there. And lastly, a feeling of belonging with people… I do think I depend my relationships this year. I let a few go (or more like, I no longer hold those as dearly) but I formed a few new ones and overall, especially with the holidays being a time when I always reflect and feel extremely grateful, thinking of those that I cared about and wanted to give gifts/cards to… I’m just very grateful for those people around me and how they make me feel. I read a Bill Gates/Warren Buffet interview once, where Warren Buffet said his measure of success was whether the people you care about you love you back. This year, I felt this. So I’m going to count this one as done.

WORK

2. Don’t get fired.

I didn’t!! 

3. No major fuck-ups (that may lead to being fired and/or my supervisor seriously regretting his decision to hire me).

I think I’ve made mistakes but this year, no major fuck-ups I don’t think.

4. Get a professional certification.

I did! I got a professional cert in the field of privacy.

5. Learn to be a better supervisor.

I think I did this. I think I’m better, specifically, I’ve been very intentional with being open with the person I work with/supervise, not micro-managing, and trying to support her to do projects she’s interested in. I’m sure there’s still a ways to go, but I think I improved.

6. Be okay with being uncomfortable at work.

I’m never going to feel completely comfortable, I don’t think. But I’ve been better and taking on projects that I’m not sure how to handle, and trying my best. Also, I’ve never been more fucking uncomfortable organizing a work event in my life (this was the 1.5 months of hell) but it’s done and nobody died. 

TANGIBLE-(ish) 7. Be smart with money.

I did a budget this year, breaking down my categories of spending. Pros: I kept within my vacation budget, kept mostly to my savings goal, didn’t spend too much on groceries, spent a reasonable amount on restaurants/bars and entertainment. Cons: I think I spent a bit too much on clothes. I saved a decent amount as well (an inheritance and a tax refund helped as well, but thankfully I didn’t spend those frivolously). 

8. Read 35 books.

Nope, I only read 14. I’m gonna only aim for 30 next year. Sigh. It makes me sad that I don’t read as much anymore, but I also have a physical bookcase now (YAY!) which gives me more excuses to buy physical books (YAY?) 

9. Cook at least 2 times a week.

By “cook”… what did I mean? I didn’t eat out for dinner often, but often my dinner would be a quickly assembled meal (I eat oatmeal for dinner more often than I would care to admit). I’ll say this is half done. I definitely TRIED to cook more (as in with the pay and all that) but definitely not consistently at twice a week.

10. Get an IUD.

I did this! I don’t know if my body likes it (ugh the side effects are a-nnoying!). But it’s done.

11. Volunteer.

I volunteered for 2 events in 2018, and last year (2019) I did 3. I enjoyed them all a lot!

12. Continue playing piano for fun.  

Again, I’m so glad I bought that piano (keyboard). It’s been truly joyful to re-introduce music into my life.

13. Learn and keep a new hobby.

YES I DID THIS. My friends know that I constantly talk about wanting to pick up a new hobby (I actually also took 8 weeks of pottery classes earlier this year… which was totally not my jam). But I asked for a guitar from my mum for Christmas and she gave it to me early in November and learning to play it has been infinitely rewarding. I suck really bad but I suck a tiny bit less each time.

SPACE

14. Travel.

My travel goals were: Taiwan, the Rockies (Banff and Jasper), and either South America, Turkey, or Eastern Europe. Also, maybe Toronto over the holidays. And I was very very very tentatively thinking about going to New Zealand in 2020, so let’s cross our fingers. 

In reality, I made it to: Taiwan, Rockies, Japan, and Toronto. Japan was a surprise trip of sorts since it wasn’t on my radar, but I went with my Japanese housemate and had an AMAZING time. I felt so so happy and calm there, it was incredible.

15. Settle into my living space.

I’m now stressed out that I own too much shit. I mean, I have two dressers, 2 bedside tables, a kitchen table, 2+ chairs, a couch, a TV, a piano, a guitar, a bookcase + books, a few organization things, and all this kitchen shit. The next move is gonna SUUUUCK. But… my living space feels like mine. I have a second room with my instruments and TV and wall decorations I love and honestly it makes me happy to just chill there around all of “my shit” and think to myself “this is me”. It’s taken like a year to slowly get my stuff (like, I bought a Dyson vacuum on Boxing Day…) but things do feel like they’ve come together in to a safe space. 

16. Settle into my city.

This summer was sooo good, weather wise. I stayed in the city, went on lots of dates, and just hung out in the sunshine. It made me love living where I am, although the rainy months are gross. I’ve also grown to know the restaurants, bars, and grocery stores near me and downtown, all of which make me feel a bit more rooted. Yay for yearly themes, eh.

RELATIONSHIPS

17. Make 2 new friends.

I don’t know if they’re new friends since I met them before 2019, but I have formed stronger friendships with an old coworker, as well as re-building a friendship that I had kinda cut off early in the year. Both I’m going to count.

18. Date people!

I did this! I made a little mental note to myself that I’d accept any date someone asked if in person, in addition to a challenge with my friend to go on 3 online dates (w/ different people). This means I’ve went on “dates” (could be as casual as coffee) with someone who asked me out on the street, on a bus, through Instagram DMs, and through tinder. It’s been mostly good, I think.

19. See my mom at least once or twice a month.

I did this! Having a closer relationship with my mom is another one of those things that have built over the course of years, and that I look back and am thankful that past-me (when I was in Toronto) decided to call her once a week when I was pretty MIA in university. Now we’re a lot closer and she has helped me so much (like, she’s pretty much helped me completely furnish my place).

20. Be a better friend (support & generosity).

I think so. I cut my friend circle a little bit (especially high school friends that I realized I didn’t need to hold so closely. It’s funny because when I went away for university, I loved my HS friends so much and would eagerly see them every time I visited. Now that I’m back, I just feel like my HS friends know the old me, and that the current me has changed so much. Or just to say that I think while I’ll always be friendly and love them, I just don’t feel a pressure to be as active in those friendships as I did before. I dedicate myself to other ties.) I’ve deepened my friendships (that I care about) and I know I’m still learning how to be a better friend (always) but I’ve really put in the effort this year.

SELF

21. INTENTIONALITY.

This is a bit of a hit or miss. I mean, I regularly watch 40 minute Bon Appetit youtube videos (I would die for Claire) and read fewer books than I have in like 8 years. But I think I was kinda intentional with my time (making time to see friends, spending my vacation time traveling). I’ll give myself a half point for this.

22. Keep my mental health in check (and prioritize it).

I had 1.5 months of mental health hell, for real. I felt like I didn’t have any time to live my life, including buying groceries or eating dinner. It probably wasn’t that bad but my brain made it feel that way. However, that means I had 10.5 months of pretty decent mental health. If a work issue was the worst thing that happened to me this year, it must not have been that bad.

23. Figure out my finances.

Not really. I saved well, budgeted, but didn’t to the type of actual learning I was aiming for.

24. Fucking exercise.

No :(

25. Maintain my weight.

Yeah, I think so.

26. Be better than I currently am.

I…think so.

27. Take risks. Of all sorts. Because, why not. I had a really big(ish) decision this year and I was initially going to make a decision out of fear of risks. But part of my final thought process was that I think I’d be disappointed in myself that if when it all came down to the line, I decided not to make a potentially risky decision that was sitting in front of me. So even though the future is murky and unknown, I did take it. I also learned there are A LOT OF REASONS WHY NOT. I don’t like to describe anything I do as brave but a little part of me thought that by not doing the safe thing, I did the brave thing. 

----

And.. that’s it. Final score (including the half points): 21.5 out of 27… I’m very pleased :) Who knew this year would turn out like this? 

[thelandscapingemployeetrap]

How to Run an Awesome Landscaping Business Efficiently After Recovering from a Business Failure with Caleb Auman

Caleb Auman is the Owner of the Auman Landscape LLC which is based in Carroll, Ohio and they serve the Fairfield County region, Lancaster, and selected Columbus clients. From crashing his old business he survived and managed to get up again when he met his wife  Brittany Auman who has been supportive to him until now. Brittany manages and signs all of his paychecks and he is very proud to say that. They pick up all the pieces together to create and establish their landscaping business. And now, they not only do landscape but also other types of construction services such as Commercial Stormwater service. Caleb is not only a businessman but is also an awesome mentor and you can see him mostly on his Social Media channels on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. Check him out you will learn a lot from this awesome man. 

“A company is a blank book that you can write, finish to the beginning and so you say I want to end up here. I don't want to have those incredible burdens like running a big company. You can run a company with two or three guys and yourself, it's your book, write it how you want it.”   - Caleb Auman 

    Today’s Topic we discuss: 

  4:19 - Stage three is where Caleb’s business is right now, where they go out in the field and they have employees to do the job, his wife, and him doing the sales, marketing, and running the business. They also open up another division of their business called Auman Environmental.  Awesome, right? 

  13:18 - Fear and Confidence Issue gets in the way for you to raise up your price. But you need to realize what is your worth and you got to know how to get to that too. Don’t let fear and confidence issues prevent you from getting what you deserve. 

  18:59 - The tax issue is a common problem in a start-up business, especially if you don’t have a bookkeeper to manage your finances. This might lead to business failure if not managed pretty well.

  20:30 - It’s not easy to manage your finances if you will do it just yourself. The biggest benefit you’ll get from hiring an accountant is, you will have someone to look into your records and tell you where your money is going. They could give you any advice about your tax issues too. 

  25:09 - Building a company is not as easy as you think. The difficult part of it is if you mismanaged your business because you don’t have the goal of building something in your life.  

  28:45 - Mentors, you got to have one. If you can’t pay one find a legend who you could look up to, know their history. If you can’t follow their footsteps because we all have our own strategies and ways. Learn from their mistakes, and take only those that could help you. Caleb shared some of their names, looked them up, and researched them. 

  30:48 - Listen to this, guys. Caleb’s advice to guys out there who feel that they are trapped in a deep abyss of business failure. 

Helpful resources for you:   

CALEB’S LINKS: 

Instagram:  Auman Landscape LLC  

  Website:   https://www.aumanlandscape.com

  Twitter: https://twitter.com/AumanLandscape

KEITH’S LINKS: 

My Blog:  https://keith-kalfas.mykajabi.com/blog/

  My Podcast: https://www.keithkalfas.com/podcast

  Get a Trial of QuickBooks Here: https://quickbooks.grsm.io/keithkalfa...

  Get your FREE Trial of JOBBER here.  https://jobber.grsm.io/keithkalfas8521

  DISCLAIMER: This description contains affiliate links. If you buy something, I earn a small percentage....

  Get a FREE Trial of JOBBER Software & save 20% for the first 6 months.

https://jobber.grsm.io/keithkalfas8521

Key Takeaways

  “And just even if it's a confidence issue just start slow, raising your rates, slowly, anything, you got anything you got to do to get to that light, you got to do it. And it's tough, man, I've been there. And it's tough, but you got to get there because you got to build a company that you can survive on that you'd be proud of.”  - Caleb Auman

  “One of the hard things to get over is the fear and the shame of actually having somebody look at your business and how good you're not really doing and like and so because you're afraid they're gonna go, "What, what the hell are you doing?"  - Keith Kalfas

  “Get someone, it's gonna cost a lot of money but it's worth it. And you'll end up making you money and it'll save you a ton of heartache down the road. So get a bookkeeper, you know, we were so adamant generally about hiring a professional to do something right like how you hire a guy to build your website. Why not hire somebody for your books?”  - Caleb Auman

  “Seek your accountant’s advice on that. Absolutely. Depending on how you file your taxes and everything but we pay yourself a reasonable salary, but basically by the time the winter comes, when I finally said, Oh my God if I wanted to, I could literally just sit around on my ass and watch Netflix all winter and do nothing. Until springtime, because I have enough money budgeted out to pay all the bills for Christmas forever. And obviously you like you wouldn't do that. But I think when you get like to that level, once you start having some money where you can go on a vacation or two, and you can experience the freedom of the business and you get over that first or second hump, you start to reap the benefits.” - Keith Kalfas

The Transcript 

(Note: This transcript was created using Otter, an AI transcription software.  Please forgive any transcription or grammatical errors.  We probably sounded better in real life.)

Intro 

Welcome to the untrapped podcast where we're motivated and inspired about success, small business, and personal development. And now Keith Kalfas.

Keith Kalfas  0:14  

  Three.. Two... One. What's up guys, this Keith Kalfas with the untrapped podcast coming at you from Mendota Heights, Minnesota. We are in Stanley dirt, monkey genetics, living room right now, hanging out. We'll talk about that later. You can check that on my YouTube channel, but I'm next to sitting down across from Caleb Auman from Auman Landscape. Caleb and his wife run a breaching on a million-dollar landscaping business in Columbus, Ohio. And Caleb is an awesome mentor and he's rising up as a leader in the green industry. And I was on Instagram like two days ago, and he's live. He's sitting in a truck waiting for some concrete or something to be delivered on an actual job site. He's got crew out working, a project manager, and all this stuff going on. 

1:04 

  And he's talking about efficiently running a landscaping business and people are flowing in the comments asking all these really good intelligent questions about like hiring, project management, measuring, bidding, all these questions that you would ask when you were in the first few years of your landscape business and you're reaching out for some mentorship and Caleb is just literally spitting out golden nuggets left and right. I stopped everything that I was doing. And I tuned in and I just and I was learning all these things. I was like, “Oh my god, this is really, really good.” And he doesn't let his ego get in the way. And he just flows value because he's been through pain and suffering. He's had a business failure and now he's back climbing back top of his business and he's crushing it and now inspiring others to do the same. So what's up Caleb?

  Caleb Auman  1:49  

  Hey, Keith, man, it's awesome to be here and thanks for the kind words and as I was saying earlier I followed you for a long time. So to hear like a dude I've like followed admired for such a long time to say that stuff is like really flattering. It's cool. So thanks, man. Thanks for having me.

  Keith Kalfas  2:01  

  You're welcome, man. And thank you, just talking to you for five minutes. It just became very apparent to me. And that's what we're going to talk about today. We're gonna dive right in and talk about hiring people hiring the right people, project management, taking your hands off your business a little bit. So you're not stressed out trying to do 100 things at once to the point of breakdown, and how do you do that? And how do you get to the point where you can afford to do that? And I really like the saying what got you here won't get you there. So let's dive right in. So you guys did what 6 or 700,000 last year you said?

Caleb Auman  2:30  

  Yeah, last year, our sales were right at about 700 I think we had 690 or 710, something like that. And we did that with four guys in the field Brittany and I in the office. She and I did a little bit of work. I think she and I did maybe about 100 grand worth of work ourselves.

  Keith Kalfas  2:4  

  Brittany, is your wife?

Caleb Auman  2:45  

   Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, Brittany is my wife. She's on the company for 10 years, she signs my paychecks and essentially started a new company after I crashed my old one. There's a whole long story there of me doing stupid with a capitalist for about 10 years prior to that.

  Keith Kalfas  2:59  

  How old are you now?

  Caleb Auman  3:01  

   37, I think about that for a second. haha

  Keith Kalfas  3:02  

  You guys are married and have three kids?

Caleb Auman  3:04  

  Yeah, married with three kids. And we've, our sole income is the company and we wouldn't have any other crazy lifestyle but we wouldn't have any other way.

  Keith Kalfas  3:12  

  Awesome and I saw you guys on Instagram you're about to hit 20,000 subscribers and followers on Instagram.

  Caleb Auman  3:17  

  Yeah, Instagram's my jam. I just love Instagram and I've learned so much from other contractors that I admire on Instagram.

  Keith Kalfas  3:24  

  What's your tag so people can check you out?

  Caleb Auman  3:26  

  It's Auman, it's @aumanlandscapellc is our environment. My foreman has one it's out on the landscape but he doesn't put much on there.

  Keith Kalfas  3:33  

  So,  a-u-m-a-n?

  Caleb Auman  3:34  

  Correct. Yeah, the Spelling's crazy. Yeah, Auman. A-u-m-a-n. Yes, Sir.

  Keith Kalfas  3:38  

  Alright, sweet. So, all right. So stage one business, the guys running around by him by himself in a pickup truck, like a chicken with his head cut off trying to do it all. He's getting home at dark then trying to do paperwork. His books are a mess. He doesn't even know what his numbers are because he doesn't have time to do them. And the profit margins are to the point where he can hire stage two. It's maybe you've got a couple of guys working and you can leave the job site for a few hours to go sell. You're doing marketing. You've got some guys on payroll, stage three is where you're out of the field. And you've got guys now working and you're doing sales, marketing, running the business and making sure that calendar stays full. Where are you at?

  Stage three is where Caleb’s business is right now, where they go out in the field and they have employees to do the job, his wife, and him doing the sales, marketing, and running the business. They also open up another division of their business called Auman Environmental.  Awesome, right? 

Caleb Auman  4:19  

  We're, I guess we're stage three at the moment. So yeah, I'm, we do. Brittany and I will go out and do a little bit of like, almost like emergencies. We started another division or a company called Auman Environmental and so it handles like stormwater management type work. So you'll see like retention ponds at like grocery stores and stuff like outflows. So we've been cleaning, we clean those out or we put new big rip rap in there or fix broken pipes or the drains in parking lots we go fix those. So a store will notice a sinkhole and like they need a pretty quick turnaround on that sinkhole repair and so her and I usually jump in a truck grab an excavator and run and take care of that. So that's kind of like her nice like emergency response kind of deal otherwise, our other project manager john handles that stuff. It's if it's a little more scheduled out so that's what she and I do, but primarily we're kind of I think vision casting is what I call it earlier and I think it's a maybe that's common, I don't know. But she and I are trying to just keep the direction of the company right away keep our four guys that are in the field because they consume a lot of work and a lot of materials and so we've got to be more than ever diligent with like working, you know, working on the business and not in you know..

  Keith Kalfas  5:18  

  These guys out here. They're cutting lawns and edging and?

  Caleb Auman  5:21  

We don't, we got out of lawncare about six years ago, I think.

  Keith Kalfas  5:26  

  And you're doing hardscapes and patios and construction?

  Caleb Auman  5:29  

  Yeah, that's the primary portion of our business at the moment is hardscape construction, landscape design, so paver patios, retaining walls, and then horticultural work planting trees and shrubs and doing landscape install stuff like that. And then the other division of the company is more construction based. And we're working on getting that off the ground with our project manager there and that's, that's exciting. You know, sometimes that's fresh. Sometimes like a breath of fresh air starting something new or new venture is like is really exciting, and it's cool because it's also diversifying us because it's deemed essential work too. So, with this new quote, new normal unquote, you know, that we're going into, I think that kind of work is going to be, we just want to diversify that way long story short, we want to kind of like target was able to stay open during this whole pandemic thing because they carried some groceries, how fortunate

  6:16

   I bet you they'll take a loss on that division of their company for the rest of time, just to be able to stay open during a pandemic or something should these shutdowns which are going probably going to be the new normal which I hate to say so diversity is diversification of work and work styles is like pretty important to me but trying and the same time and not to get caught up in that trap of like doing every style work there because I used to do that too. I wouldn't turn anything down I know to a freakin thing man we'd be, I'd be up in a tree that I should not be in on a ladder cut and topping out a tree to bring it down. Dude, I've done so much crazy dumb stuff in contracting and not at all the hard way and not make money and all that stuff. So, you know, it's maybe more typical than that is but I like I'm not afraid to share because I don't want guys to go down that same road that I did or hopefully they don't, or at least, you know, they don't get hurt as hard as I did by losing their company, their first company or whatever. So that's why I try to be as open as I can be. Here we are.

  Keith Kalfas  7:09  

Thank you so much. So I'm trying to do a million things at once we do that because you know, I go deep in @PaulJamison was making fun of me about this the other day, I mean, all the civil I love Paul man he..

  Caleb Auman  7:21  

  He is a genuine Heart of Gold dude.

  Keith Kalfas  7:23  

  So, what's up, Paul, so, but your sympathetic nervous system takes over it's a fight or flight response is the part of your brain that makes you survive, you know, then just strictly the mammalian part of the brain. So you can't access the structure and strategy and actually calm the fuck down for a few minutes and then take a look at what are we going to do to strategize for this thing long term? What are the right decisions to make? What is my f**** man-hour rate? What are my numbers? I wonder my books like? And when people say things like that to me, like "What do you mean you don't have QuickBooks and you're not tracking every penny?"  like, and it would be like almost like, take on all this shame when they would say that. And it's because Dude, I wasn't even charging enough to even afford the time to do that I was just trying to get the lights on and keep the bills paid. So can you talk about the transition from going to that? How do you get out of that and get to the next step where you start putting some structure and systems in your business?

Caleb Auman  8:19  

  Sure. A huge part of it for me early in business and even I still even struggle with it to some extent now, but like, I heard you say, your awesome presentation at Entrepreneur last summer, last winter? Or was it still 2020 that went on or is that 2019? Anyways? Yeah, 19 duh. But you say you know, you got to know your worth and I was way underselling our skills, way underselling our ethics because we were at what I mean by that is we were an ethical company, we were good and like honest, and we didn't put a dollar value on that of like selling what we were worth and so as the part, it was like a self-respect issue possibly of like, not just not selling our company in our services for what it's worth. And so you then get it. That issue of you start to get behind an eight ball, you get behind the eight balls of like. It starts to become tough to get ahead of like taking the time to run your numbers and figure out and I would run numbers sometimes back in my first company and it'd be ugly of like oh god we hit $25 of man-hour there. That's not good and I would kind of like always kick can down the road. Okay, next month is going to be better we'll price our work for what I know this job is going to take I'm going to put that number on it because I know that's what it's gonna take to hit $60 of man-hour, whatever. And it just didn't materialize for so long.

  Keith Kalfas  9:32  

  Why not?

  Caleb Auman  9:33  

  Fear and honestly like I probably you know, really cuz I guess we're just gonna be really I'll be really open here like, I just don't know if I it's weird cuz I didn't see it like this at the time but like thinking, hey, that customer will never pay that for further work and not I just really didn't even realize but it didn't respect my own time enough to like charge enough to run a business off of it. Greg Wittstock so said something. He's like

  Keith Kalfas  9:55  

  The pond guy.

  Caleb Auman  9:56  

  Oh, gosh, man. He's driven, Dude. Yeah, he is. And he's built a huge, huge, amazing company. And one of the greatest things I heard him say, was like, "Never place your value of $1 against your client’s value of $1 or the value of a project" just because this patty, I can build this patty, I can build a patio, and like I would never pay $10,000 for a patio. But that's because I'm looking at from a standpoint like I can build this myself. Like I can do it way cheaper because I know how to do it, I've got the stuff. And so I'm putting my value of a project on against the homeowner’s value project. Well, the homeowner, like with a website, like I'm willing to pay someone a lot of money to build a website because the value to me is there because I don't know how to Freakin' do it. And hopefully, that web person respects their time because, their own time, because I respect their time enough to be willing to pay a premium for it. But I fell in this trap of not respecting my own time enough and there's a lot of things to like early on in my company like we weren't efficient enough. You know, we didn't like for a long time we didn't own any skid steer so we were renting one and that whole debacle of going to get a machine doing it. Try to get done in the allotted amount of time return it, then, oh crap, we really need it tomorrow.

  11:04

  But we don't have the budget forward just so we're up to 85 wheelbarrows and make it, I'm exaggerating, but and so you. So the big thing is like you've got to know your numbers with your company and know what you need to survive dollar-wise, first off, and then be able to pass on jobs that aren't going to, aren't going to get you there. You got to have the skill level of course. But the thing is most guys have the skill level. It's the business acumen they lack. And you got to put so much effort into really knowing how to run a proper company, a proper business and it's something I knew a lot of stuff because I used to study like Charles Vander Kooi, who was a huge like, multiple overhead recovery system gurus, you know, he always he signed a book I bought from such a dork. I mean, I understood all the things in your heart of hearts. I knew my first company was failing, like, I knew what was wrong, but I just, you just get so busy and just again, that 10 million things to do. It just becomes hard to write the shift eventually. And so you got to recognize if that's what's going on in your company, you got to recognize it and figure out a way to push pause or scale back a little bit and just try to get your head above water.

12:08

  And just even if it's a confidence issue just start slow, raising your rates, slowly, anything, you got anything you got to do to get to that light, you got to do it. And it's tough, man, I've been there. And it's tough, but you got to get there because you got to build a company that you can survive on that you'd be proud of. And that was, I said this the other day, so I feel like I'm the reason I say I feel like just I repeat myself too much sometimes. But like, when I was younger, especially and this is one of my things when I was 24 and even 20 a lot of guys I knew that age or you know, they had lawn care businesses, and they would have you know like they would end up having kids or get somebody pregnant or whatever, like well, I got rid of my lawncare company cuz I need to get a real business need to get a real job, need to go get a real job, and I always heard that and just curled my skin and like curled my blood, so just like, but this isn't a real job. And I just it just lit a fire in me to like I swear I'm going to have a real company someday that I can draw a salary off support a family and do some of the nice things in life with that. And it took me way too long to get there, Keith. But we finally got to where we're drawing a decent salary and can do some stuff but it took me learning the hard way a long time. So I don't know I think I rambled on there for a little bit sorry, man, but it's just for me, it was a confidence issue.

Fear and Confidence Issue gets in the way for you to raise up your price. But you need to realize what is your worth and you got to know how to get to that too. Don’t let fear and confidence issues prevent you from getting what you deserve. 

  13:18

  I think a lot of like, just knowing my worth, like you preach a lot. And you gotta, you got to come to that realization of what’s your worth and you got to know how to get to that too. You got to know and it's really not that hard is the crazy thing you've really figured out, you know, how many man-hours a year you're going to work and generally, for the seasonal business, you know, if we're not planting everything, 1500, 2000 hours if you're really going nuts, and then you divide your overhead into that, you know what I mean? All your bills, I'll help you give an hourly rate. Let's just keep the math simple. Like you're if you're gonna work 1000 hours this year, and you need to make at least $35,000 a year. Okay, right. There are 35 bucks an hour on your charge. You've got to have 35 an hour in there just to make your own salary, and then truck payment and your truck or whatever or even if you don't have truck payments, you need to be banking up that cash. To buy things is the revolving door of purchasing, updating your asset. And so like you take your phone bill and divided in at 30,000 hours and you know your internet and you've all these fixed overhead costs. And so it's not super hard, it can be intimidating, but just you know, just start taking a stab, there's software out there that can help you do this. There are people out there who can help you do this, you know, invest 500 or 1000 bucks and somebody can help you figure these things out and you'll be all the better off for it.

Keith Kalfas  14:18  

  One of the hard things to get over is the fear and the shame of actually having somebody look at your business and how good you're not really doing and like and so because you're afraid they're gonna go, "What, what the hell are you doing?"

Caleb Auman  13:18  

  I know, dude, I did a job for an accountant one time and I know he knows I did the job to cheap and he's like, "Caleb, I'd love to help you with your business someday. And like, you know, I'd love to all look at your books, no charge. I'd love to help you just see if I can help you in any way." And I say one of the things like I think he wanted to mentor me but I was young and dumb, and I knew everything and, and I  knew again in my heart hearts like I would embarrass myself because I knew in my heart hearts, I was not charging enough and I wouldn't make any money. And I didn't let him do it. And it's one of those things like I believe things have got to take their course. And I wouldn't change my history or trajectory in any way because it put me right here on this couch right now, I believe. So it's like, you have to go back and change some things. Everything I've learned up till now is like, got me where I'm at. I wouldn't change anything. But it same time. It's like, gosh, man, what would the trick what would look different? If I would have been open enough? Be like, "Yes, God, let's do it. Yeah. Okay, let's do this." And like, what would that have done? You know, or what? Or what I've, you know, so it's just you look back and you can't dwell on stuff too much. But you know, if somebody is willing to help you consider it, I guess is what I'm getting at.

  Keith Kalfas  15:42  

  My good friend Joshua Latimer says that he has a PhD in pain and suffering.

  Caleb Auman  15:48  

  Yeah. He says he has a PhD in d u MB. Yeah, d-u-m-b.  Dave Ramsey.

  Break  16:00  

  More of today's edition of the Untrapped Podcast continues right after this.

  Keith Kalfas  16:06  

  Guys if you need help, being more organized, and being perceived as a professional to your clients and prospective customers, then you get to check out Jobber. Jobber is an awesome software that you can run your entire service business. You can create invoices, quotes, estimates, work orders, it integrates with your calendar, you can collect money, you can run your whole business on jobber and grow with it as well. Get your 14 days free trial of Jobber at keithkalfas.com/jobber. I use Jobber in my business and it's awesome.

  Break  16:44  

  The Untrapped Podcast continues. here's your host, Keith Kalfas.

  Keith Kalfas  16:49  

  So, but when the students ready the teacher will appear. You know that you know when like you know, Okay, I'm ready like you just know that you're there now for instance when I hired a bookkeeper to manage all my books. I started looking at what it was gonna cost. And I was like, "I don't know if I'm ready for that." And I was like, You know what? I asked myself because I don't like to point the finger at anybody else. But I say "Who the f*** am I becoming?" Do I want to be like, the people that I aspire to be like, because if they're not doing their books or having someone in house and they have a bookkeeper, right? So, when I finally hired a bookkeeper, and now I would, I would never go back. Right?  And because you look at when you finally get started getting P&L statements, and you know what's going on in the business and you're looking at the numbers, you go, "Oh, my God, it's all becoming clear." So that just made your money right there because you have a sense of clarity. If you don't know where you're at. That's the first and most important thing I think is seeing with the brutal reality of where you're at. How did you start to see, where you were in order to start making the changes? Oh, geez.

  Caleb Auman  17:58  

  Uhm. Well, it's kind of cool. I don't know. I've never been asked that question that way so that's interesting. I was thinking about that a little bit and I would love to know Britt, my wife's perspective on that because her and I kind of, I, get off really. Oh boy, Keith You know, it was one of the things. I was getting tired sick and tired of being sick and tired. Like I was just like, so fed up with being broke all the time. But I'll tell you the one thing man that really likes really began to get me like oh, it's real now because for like for a long time my company was like 1st four or five years from like, when I was a kid, 16 to like 22 probably? We're getting by the as okay kid, money, all that kind of stuff you know like I get by. But then after that where I started trying to be like big-time Joe big-time contractor is what I call myself and like trying to take on projects we didn't own the right machinery for and all this stuff like that's in having guys on payroll and trying to hold payroll taxes myself, guess where that because I didn't hire a bookkeeper and things got nasty fat and so like I ended up long story short, getting behind super behind in payroll taxes and sales tax and all this junk eventually got to a point where I was trying to run my problem.

  The tax issue is a common problem in a start-up business, especially if you don’t have a bookkeeper to manage your finances. This might lead to business failure if not managed pretty well 

  18:59 

   I go into winter time go work down on my cousin's ranch in Oklahoma and I got a letter one time my sister would get my mail for me and all that stuff back home and she would go through it and she's like "Caleb there's a letter from the IRS" and long story short was like they're gonna say they say they're gonna start coming to get stuff if you don't contact them so I just totally wrote them off forever and you know A that's the symptoms like run trying to run from your problems for too long because they'll get you eventually they'll catch up with you. And so that was kind of like actually like the great moment of reckoning of like, Oh my gosh, like it's, it's finally it's caught up with me now like, you know, these chickens have come home to roost and the taxman says "Guess what? Pay up or we're coming to take stuff" and a time I really have anything to take but it was still like from the IRS. That's scary. Do you know what I mean? Like it was the first of many of those letters I learned how to begin to like navigate those waters cuz I was in a terrible mess. And like that was the beginning of the awakening, let's say of like, dude, life is real. Now. I can't run from this and I got to figure something out. And so, fortunately, Britt and I started dating right about that time and the hierarchy or not hierarchy this

Keith Kalfas  20:05  

   Hey, wait. One more thing, you say a key indicator. It's real now and I can't run from this

  Caleb Auman  20:11  

  Anymore yeah,

  Keith Kalfas  20:12  

  Yeah, it's sometimes we do that I had an old friend that said I don't like to make tough decisions so I wait for somebody to make the decision for me or just or things get so bad or in a predicament where I'm forced to make the decision. And he was so honest about that. I was like, wow!

  It’s not easy to manage your finances if you will do it just yourself. The biggest benefit you’ll get from hiring an accountant is, you will have someone to look into your records and tell you where your money is going. They could give you any advice about your tax issues too. 

  Caleb Auman  20:30  

   That's open Yeah. Yeah, that's boy, that's crazy. And that's kind of guess where I was like I got it to where a decision was made for me and then it forced me to buck up and take care of it and even you know, and boy, that was a long road and I'm still paying off my state taxes and I'm behind on I got six more months and payments on state taxes and federal stuff. We're still ironing out but it's mostly done. And Dude, that's 10 years later, by the way, and so that's why the reason I share this stuff is like if you're behind in taxes, or you have issues, do the smart thing like Keith did and get someone, it's gonna cost a lot of money but it's worth it. And you'll end up making you money and it'll save you a ton of heartache down the road. So get a bookkeeper, you know, we were so adamant generally about hiring a professional to do something right like how you hire a guy to build your website. Why not hire somebody for your books?

Keith Kalfas  21:13  

  Wait a second, now you're talking about hiring people and I just want to say to keep going. Because I want.. I'm always I used to be the guy who said yeah, but I would get angry when I'm here at guys like you successful guys like you. And I would say what the fuck you're telling me to just go hire somebody. I'm sitting here trying to just go hire somebody. Right? And I would hear things like that and I would go insane. And then I would go work like eight days in a row to like till 10 o'clock at night come home to my wife screaming at me threatening to divorce me. And I would go like frantic crazy because I didn't have any control I can access. So it’s interesting how like, you have to have a place to live. So you have to pay rent, you have to have gas, phone, electricity, you got to have good internet to run your business and you have to have a good cell phone with a good cell phone plan so you can run your business. You have to have a good running truck with oil changes. You have to have insurance you have to have this you have to and I go through this whole damn thing. I'm like, Oh my God, this cost so much money like in the beginning, and I'm not saying everybody here listening to this in the beginning, but it seems so freaking expensive.

  And if you have dependents you can feel like you're being squeezed through the cracks where you have no freedom. And then you just look in your eyes every day. And you're like, you have deep bags under your eyes. And you're, you become a shell of your former self and you become the person you always feared you'd become, which is a guy who, who's painted himself into a corner who's just and then people say, "Well, you're spending too much money you need to live. You're living beyond your means." Like "What? what do you mean? I go out to eat once a month?"  And they're like, "No, look at those shoes you're wearing." Then they'll cut you down like some Dave Ramsey shit-talking about? Well, you need to go to work four jobs and live a cardboard box for three days. And like that shit pissed me off so bad that I just started like savagely pulling that work the harder lever and raise the price. lever yeah taking chances because but I had to be backed into a corner. I felt I had no choice. What about you?

  Caleb Auman  23:06  

  I guess that's probably when the Taxman came that's pretty much where I was. That was, again that the hard iceberg of reality that finally was like, I can't run from this anymore. I need to figure out how to fix it.

  Keith Kalfas  23:17  

  But you had all the self-limiting beliefs back then too, right?

  Caleb Auman  23:20  

  Yeah, yeah. Still Yeah, like we weren't charging enough for our work. And

Keith Kalfas  23:24  

  So did you just work yourself to death?

  Caleb Auman  23:26  

  Yeah, more or less. Yeah, just worked like crazy and I still have like a good like mid I still have like a good 20-year-old lifestyle, let's say of like, I still travel a little bit with my buddies on a shoestring budget, you know, I'd get paid from a job and take some of that money and go on a trip. We didn't plan for a while and, you know, do all that dumb stuff, but same time, like I'm probably behind in my insurance, and you know, live living that dumb, mid-20-year-old lifestyle with no kids and you know, like, and that's another thing to have. Like as you get older, you start to like, and I need to get some things together to get things together for the future, right?

  Keith Kalfas  23:58  

  Have you ever had those thoughts, but I don't want to get my life together while I'm out here with the sun beating on me working in the dirt every day?

  Caleb Auman  24:04  

  Dude, I deal with that still like it's so, so one of the things about when Brittany and I get called into the field to go to a service job or something or the company if we're like we spent some time on some jobs we're working on a job for two weeks and dude the company I say this because it feels like it's not really but dude the company falls apart when we're out in the field because like it's not it's it reminds me so much it harkens back to the days where how I got in trouble the first place like oh my god, you know, I left the house at six this morning, we're pulling in at six again, I do not feel like returning the seven voicemails I've got waiting on me or like dealing with an upset, you know, client and it's like, I see how it keeps me grounded to remember like what it's like to be at that level of the grind, you know? And so, yeah, it's so tough to be an owner-operator. And so it reminds me of that, I forget, I guess whereas even going with this, but I know I totally relate to like, yeah, it just it's so hard to be the producer and facilitate all the stuff that's involved to take the run the company and I guess that's where you got to decide where you're going to go as a company, are you going to be a guy that just works like that? Are you going to set a goal of building something in your life?

Building a company is not as easy as you think. The difficult part of it is if you mismanaged your business because you don’t have the goal of building something in your life.  

25:09

  And it's going to take like, crazy discipline, which is something I didn't have a lot of when I'm in my mid-20s. And I eat we always did good work, quality work. We were a good contracting business. We weren't a good business, you know what I mean? And I was just young and I but you know, I know guys that were like just had a different mentality of me that were my age and they built some incredible companies that were profitable and it just the way my stubborn had had to be, I guess it's just my, my temperament was just how I had to be and how my whole life has worked out the way it has just because it's how it had to be for me, I guess, but it still didn't change the fact that ultimately, eventually, like, I made the decision of like, I'm not going back to that lifestyle, trying to figure out how I'm going to pay, you know, bills that month and also to I was just so in love with the industry.

25:57

  I'd put off paying a phone bill to buy a new string trimmer or like a new concrete saw or something like that just go so in love with the business or you know the actual like work as in love with the work and maybe not so much the business and so, you know, I finally really came to a point where it's like I want to build you know I'm going to build I've always had that mentality like I'm going to build a company and we finally got there I believe but they're just been with a lot of hard times and I but I bit of self-inflicted hard times because I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I wasn't like dirt level poverty either. And I had a good upbringing I'm very blessed for that night count those blessings constantly. But you know, at the same time, I managed to screw up what blessings I did have and drive them into the ground because just mismanagement and all that stuff and I had to work ethic to overcome the shortsightedness of not no financial management so that when all that was like a long-winded route there but yeah, Keith so that's, you know, I've been all through all that stuff.

  26:54

  So I get them and like you said of like, it's easy for me to sit here now and say, yeah, just go hire someone because I get that like, I know the times when you don't have someone you know the money to just go hire someone you've just got to find it yourself to figure out how you're going to make that happen if you want to get ahead in life and it's just that it's that complicated and it's that simple just all you've got to figure out a way to make it happen and that's just it.

  Keith Kalfas  27:18  

  No, like you. You really know how to dial in the way you talk about what it's like to be a contractor. You talk the language bro. Doesn't he, Brian? Brian Fullerton here. He said, yes.

  Caleb Auman  27:34  

  Well, I've done stupid been stupid and I'm not much removed from it now but because I talked to guys going through this crap and even at Brian's event, like, Dude came up to me so sharing stuff about my tax issue and he came up to me like, and this is what makes it all worth it. You know, you go out and you tell her to tell a crowd of 500 people I've been bankrupt. That s** you know, who would want to go say that right? Like, Hey, I'm so dumb. You know, I've been I went broke. I crashed a company, but like this dude came up, he's like, Hey, man, I got some taxes. You know how to get them handled. It's like, so cool. It makes it all worth it. Like it's critical to open yourself up like it, you know, makes it all worth it.

  Keith Kalfas  28:10  

  Do you have mentors in your life or people around you your Fab Five?

  Caleb Auman  28:14  

  Yeah, totally. And, and I've always been blessed with the man one of my biggest blessings in life is to be surrounded by people that were like, passionate about what they did, regardless of what it was and good about what it was and I was always still studying and reading like Charles Vander Kooi,  Marty Grunder, and Frank Mariani and Dick Hensley. I could throw names forever of guys that like a lot of my never even met and they're mentors of mine they don't even know if you know, kind of deal and but I still especially in the construction and building realm I always was talking to guys about learning to build I love building like it just building is in my blood.

  Mentors you got to have one. If you can’t pay one find a legend who you could look up to, know their history. If you can’t follow their footsteps because we all have our own strategies and ways. Learn from their mistakes, and take only those that could help you. Caleb shared some of their names, looked them up, and researched them. 

Keith Kalfas  28:45  

  Say those guys’ names again.

  Caleb Auman  28:46  

  This is something I want to do someday with a series of like to introduce the Social Media generation to the I would say like almost the founding fathers of the landscape industry and it's Frank Mariani Mardi Grunder, Frank J. Schmidt. Charles Vander Kooi.

  Keith Kalfas  29:01  

  We got to go hunt these guys down.

  Caleb Auman  29:04  

  There are so many dudes out there that like had a big influence in my life and in my college instructors at my community college I went to Dick Hensley, Steven Neil, and Fred Howard. Those dudes were just passionate professionals about what they did and a lot of positive average attributes to them I guess like emulating what they did with their companies when they built companies and sold them or did whatever but you've got to find guys that are where you want to be and just do your best with prudence you know, figure out what they're doing like you're saying early and emulate that and I do that now with guys of like, where I want to be and I see what they're doing and I asked him I try to be open and ask and fortunately, a lot of guys share their experiences and it's good, it's good. So you gotta be willing to be open and open yourself up to like, Look, I'm screwing this up real bad. Can you help me and it stops some guys say no, and other guys will and, you know, just take that advice with a grain of salt. And you know, dude, darndest to get ahead for your sake, and your posterity's sake.

  Keith Kalfas  30:01  

  I got one last question for you. It's, have you ever got those thoughts? Or what would you say for the guys that think, but I don't want to be the guy who owns a landscaping business. And I've built this whole thing like imagine if they see where they're at right now. And they're in a place of working their tail off. And they think of owning some business that's four or five times the size, like five nooses around their neck, rather, they have no freedom in their life, even if they did make more money doing it. How? Do you experience any freedom from your business where they can visualize themselves in a place where like, oh, that would actually be awesome, right? If they're seeing that in a negative light, and they feel like they're just building a big trap?

Listen to this, guys. This is Caleb’s advice to guys out there who feel that they are trapped in a deep abyss of business failure. 

  Caleb Auman  30:48  

  Right. A company is a blank book that you can write, finish to the beginning and so you say I want to end up here. I don't want to have those incredible burdens of like running a big company. You can run a company with two or three guys and yourself, it's your book, write it how you want it. And if you don't want that, and that's not your drive in life, you don't have to scale to $2 million, or even a million dollars that matter, you can be plenty profitable, like Steve was talking earlier today, like, you can be plenty profitable at three or $400,000 make a good living. And if you're smart with it, and set it aside and invest and do stuff like it, you'll set yourself up so fantastically. It'll make your head spin. So it's all about you've got to write those chapters in that book the way you want it to be and you have that freedom, fortunately, it might how you get there might be challenging and the toughest thing you've ever done in your life, but it's totally possible don't feel that's a trap that I fell into of thinking with my first company like I have to scale I have to hit XYZ sales, you know, dollar, you know, sales or whatever you don't have to you can be very profitable at $300,000 in sales or whatever, or even just a solo guy out mowing grass for you know, and you're bringing in $100,000 a year and you're netting 50 off that like it's totally it's your book and you write it how you want and don't let him tell you what your business should be. It's all it's entirely up to you. I mean, it's you've got to know your why. So why are you in business? Is it to work yourself to death? Or is it to work yourself to death for a little while because that's what it takes. And then you build this, this machine that takes you where you want to go.

  Keith Kalfas  32:12  

  You know, is one of the biggest blessings? I used to plow snow for years, but I do different stuff now with the internet business. I am full heavy on into landscaping. We do a lot of landscaping. We're booked out for nine weeks right now. But it was going from barely being able to afford to pay my bills and hating my landscaping business to, I opened up a savings account and it's called winter savings account, right? And we're on the payroll, but I also take draws from the business to just balance that out and talk to my accountant. Seek your accountant’s advice on that. Absolutely. Depending on how you file your taxes and everything but we pay yourself a reasonable salary, but basically by the time the winter comes, when I finally said, Oh my God if I wanted to, I could literally just sit around on my ass and watch Netflix all winter and do nothing. Until springtime, because I have enough money budgeted out to pay all the bills for Christmas forever. And obviously you like you wouldn't do that. But I think when you get like to that level, once you start having some money where you can go on a vacation or two, and you can experience the freedom of the business and you get over that first or second hump, you start to reap the benefits.  And have you been able to reap those benefits?

Caleb Auman  33:21  

  We have Yeah, we have and we've, you know, from 10 years ago, we were always super fruit, like, we got kind of funny, you mentioned Dave Ramsey thing, but like we got super into the Dave Ramsey thing and we ate slept and breathed it from cleaning up my old mess. And like Britt came into the picture like right, pretty much when the Taxman started coming after me. And it's this archetype and I heard it so well from Jordan Peterson, the guy just love what he has to say about anything. But he was a lot of Disney movies follow these archetypes of like the script of the plot. And so Beauty and the Beast, right, a beautiful young woman comes and rescues this monster and turns them into a gentleman, right? And so like Britt's kind of like this archetype. Over his overall archetype of generally like a woman will come into your life and straighten you out. Thank God. Like that's what happened to me. And like Britt helped me get my shit together ultimately and like without her I don't who knows I may be back to a second crash company at this point Who knows?

  Keith Kalfas  34:14 

  That's my wife too

  Caleb Auman  34:16  

  I heard. I understand that and it's it follows those archetypes, right? You know, so I just thought that was just an interesting correlation. Like you know, the reason people like those movies because they follow these themes that are so prevalent we don't even know it. You know?

  Keith Kalfas  34:27  

  My wife has this keen ability to spot out any little unconscious thing I have that I'm not aware of some even down to a nervous tick, she can pull it out and show it to me and I'll try to stick my head in the sand on it and shoulders hold it there until I till I see the light and I've become so much better for it and bro, I'd love to have you back on the show sometime

  Caleb Auman  34:50  

I'd be flattered.

  Keith Kalfas  34:50  

As soon as I can work get my way into Ohio which should be pretty soon here. We're going to show up to the company that should have logged and had you on the channel. How can people check you out?

  Caleb Auman  34:59  

All our Social Media handles everything is @AumanLandscape twitter Instagram, Snapchat tik tok. You name it.

  Keith Kalfas  35:06  

  Bro, You are a gem. Thanks for being on The Untrapped Podcast. Go to keithkalfas.com/podcast you can find us on any major platform we just hit one top 100 in entrepreneurship on Apple. If you like the show, go there and show it by leaving us a good word positive Five Star Review. It really helps the show out it'll take you 90 seconds go to Apple podcasts and leave us a well worded positive five-star review and I'll see you on the next show. Right now we're releasing shows every Monday. We're gonna pump it up to two times a week soon. See you later, guys.

Check out this episode!

#Landscaping #windowcleaning

[coffinandclover]

#AutumnTarot Catch-up!!!!

My last #AutumnTarot posts were for days 12 and 13 and here we are on day... 24. Here I am with a couple hours free and I'd like to get a little caught up. I'm using the Smith-Waite deck and I am leaving cards out as I pull them but shuffling between questions.

14. In which ways do I connect to my higher self already? Which areas have I yet to venture upon?

I'm breaking this question up into two: The Ace of Swords suggests mental clarity when it comes to connecting with my higher self. I'm responding to the II of Cups, reversed as though maybe although I can reach my higher self maybe I distrust it.

15. The journey of healing requires dedication and an open heart, what is the first step I need to take in order to allow myself to heal from the past?

The III of Swords, reversed hits the nail on the head: I'm mostly at ease about my past- if there's something that needs healing maybe the first thing to do will be to recognize it.

16. Fears flourish within the darkness, what is it that my fears have to reveal to me?

VI of Cups, reversed... is complicated, beyond what I'm going to write here, but I definitely see my fears in making friendships in this card.

17. That which I do is that which will come back to me. How can I remember to always keep this in mind?

As much as I wanted the Justice card to appear for this answer I instead got the Page of Wands. The court cards are a challenge to me (but I think I'm slowly getting a better grip on them) but knowing that the pages are about ideas without yet taking action, maybe that's a part of the answer. There is no growth without responding to your ideas.

18. Through the moonlight my intuition radiates, what is it I am not seeing?

Strength, reversed reads to me as though maybe there is fear prohibiting me from taking full advantage of my intuition.

19. What are my daily allowances to refresh my body, rest my mind, and nurture my spirit?

To refresh my body: The Queen of Pentacles, reversed, to rest my mind: The Page of Pentacles, reversed, to nurture my spirit: The Ace of Cups, reversed. A lot of reversed cards :| ! The Queen of Pentacles in her lush garden suggests to get out into nature- and in the reversed state is maybe an indication that I don't do enough of it. The Page of Pentacles is about manifesting wealth- and my mind would probably be more at ease if I did less of it (as maybe the reversed state suggests?). The Ace of Cups in reverse maybe urges me to make more of an effort towards self love.

20. A mirror reveals more than just my reflection. How might I be a negative influence to myself?

The X of Pentacles has a ton of stuff going on that it's almost overwhelming- to me the characters are obviously wealthy and also part of a large family (including pets!). I drew this card in the reversed position with might indicate my lack of effort in integrating with my husband's large and very loving family.

21. Have I achieved things in the past year that are in accordance to my life plans? Am I on the right track for success?

I feel like my card, the II of Wands sums up my situation well. Over the past year I've become an integral and happy part of my job and also got married. For me this card is all about possibilities. The character literally holds the world in his hand as if possibilities are endless. I don't feel that way completely, but I am fully aware of the opportunities that are available to me thanks to my experiences over the past year- especially professionally.

22. Change is upon the horizon, what does the future hold for me?

The King of Pentacles makes me feel pretty confident.

23. How can I use that which the future holds to strengthen myself through the unknown?

The Hierophant, reversed. To be honest, as someone mostly resistant to organized religion I have a negative gut feeling to the Hierophant card usually. Seeing it in reverse kind of puts me at ease when it's a question about the future- as if I can have some sort of relief knowing that at although I can have some spirituality on my side, at least it won't be in the organized variety. ... Does that make sense?

24. As a being of peace and serenity, I make the choice to know only love and light. How can I best maintain this outlook?

(For the record- I never would have described myself as a being of love and light :P ) The last card that I'm drawing to catch up with #AutumnTarot is the II of Pentacles, reversed. Originally I wrote up a pretty boring response to this card in relation to finances, which for my family are overall positive and fortunately mostly a non-issue. After pondering this though I realize that this advice would best be given to my work-self. I work as a programmer where most of my day is problem solving- also I am mentoring our intern. The past couple days I've felt terrible about my time at work- I'm working on a project that I am definitely not suited for while other work I need to get to is piling up, and because of the stress I end up short with the intern. Her job is literally to learn from me and because I'm stressed out the only thing she gets from me is my own frustration. The II of Pentacles is a card with a rocky sea in the background, while the character in the foreground is juggles two big coins. It screams insecurity to me. In the reversed state it clearly is a message to handle my insecurities more gracefully and to make work less bad for my coworkers just because I'm in a bad mood.

#tarot #autumntarot #tarot challenge #witchblr

[batchaoticcollectionnight-blog]

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"progressive auto insurance quotes florida

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Okay, so this is the deal. I have a 3.3 G.P.A. Not bad, right? Well, for one of my classes I actually have an F in for ONE of my Spring 2011 classes. Although I can get the discount, my parents keep hounding me for my transcript and I don't want them to see that F or I'm screwed. Can I still get the discount if I send the car insurance company my trancript from the previous semesters and not my most recent one?""

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I'm 17 and I got a ticket for not having a license or permit, failure to yield to an emergency vehicle and no insurance in California. How deep will this ticket dig into my pockets? Over $500? Big thanks if you can help me out.""

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Hi there, I'm a 26 y\o male living in california. I just came off my family's kaiser health plan in April and have started paying for cobra to stay on it. As of today it's $670 a month. I know very little about buying health insurance, but I'm wondering if I can get a better deal with an individual plan. My only worry is being turned down for per-existing conditions. I have an anxiety disorder which requires medication and have had 2 eye surgeries for retinal problems. I know very little about the health insurance market other than that insurers having little compassion for the gouge they put on people. Is this a fair price? Or would it be better to look for a different insurer? Also, what is a deductible and how do they work? thanks""

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Can someone who smokes marijuana get affordable life insurance?

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What is the most affordable car insurance in Boise /Idaho?

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Insurance is up in 4 days I just made a claim. Can I still switch insurance companies?

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How do Americans with serious chronic medical conditions get medical insurance that covers all med. expenses?

How do Americans with serious chronic medical conditions get medical insurance that covers all med. expenses?

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""On average, how much would motorcycle insurance be for a 16 year old?""

I am 16, i will be 17 when i get my bike. Im pretty sure it is going to be a Kawasaki Ninja 250. Could anyone tell me about how much it would be to insure it. I live in Pennsylvania.""

What do you pay for car insurance? per MONTH?

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how much is insurance for a girl of the age 18/19 on a peugeout 106 roughly?

1 Day Car Insurance?

Does anyone know of companies that offer one day car insurance for 20yr old they all seem to be 25 and over why is that.....

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Does anyone have car insurance through Wawanesa Insurance?

http://www.wawanesa.com/ I got a quote that is very, very good!! Looking for any feedback, good or bad. Thanks Note: Currently it is only available in California and Oregon (And Canada)""

What is a cheap car insurance company in New Jersey?

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Shouldn't Pres. Obama step up to the plate and tell them he just wants affordable insurance for all now?

Tell em to screw the lobbyists, so what if the health care lobbyists payed the House and Senate members over $500 million last year, I mean donated that much to them. They will have to wait, but people are dying now..""

Life Insurance for a Thai citizen?

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A new car ? when does the new insurance apply?

does the new carpet needs insurance from the financial company

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for $200. According to the National Vital Statistics Report. 56(9), the probability that the female survives the year is 0.999544. Compute and interpret the expected value of this policy to the insurance company - I also have to find the probability that the company has to pay the female Im suppose to get .000456 but don't know how to get this?""

Would car insurance be more on a newer 2-door red sports car or an older 4-door sedan BMW?

Basically, I am a 20 year old college student and I am going through the proccess of buying a car. I have some family friends helping me out. They told me I could get financed for a 2006 red 2 door sports car but I am still on my parents insurance and I don't want it to skyrocket. I will be paying for my car but I don't want to make my parents pay a ridiculous amount for my insurance. I would just like to know which one is more likely to be cheaper...""

Short-term car insurance in the US?

In the following year I'm going to have several visitors coming for just a few days and I want them to be able to use my car. I'd like to know if there are companies that offer short-term car insurance.

16 year old boy need insurance in CA?

I just got my license and I am planning to buy a toyota or a honda type of car. I want to know how much would car insurence would cost if i do get one and which company would give me a great coverage and a great deal. I need numbers and name people!!!

What is cheaper for insurance a red car or a black car?

What is cheaper for insurance a red car or a black car?

Should my auto insurance company waive my deductible?

I recently was rear-ended by an uninsured driver. My insurance company assessed the damage at $1019.04, my collision coverage has a deductible of $1000 so my insurance company closed my claim and made payment of just $19.04. As I am a California resident, my policy includes the Collision Deductible Waiver. Are my insurance company therefore liable to waive my deductible and cover the full cost of my damages? If so, what should I do next?""

Why is mandatory auto insurance to make sure other drivers can be reimbursed for my actions ok?

But mandatory insurance to make sure doctors and hospitals can be reimbursed for my healthcare is considered socialism?

False Auto Insurance Claim Against A Friend?

A very close friend of mine received a call from his auto insurer yesterday regarding a 3rd party claim against him. According to the 3rd party, my friend hit their parked car (which was parked on the curb in front of their home), then parked his own car, went up to their house, rang their doorbell and exchanged insurance information. The 3rd party claims that this took place in a town that's more than 1 hour away from where we work and live. This allegedly happened 3 months ago. There are two major problems with this story: A- The alleged incident never happened. I carpool with my friend to and from work and was with him that night. B- The 3rd party has all of his insurance information. Could the insurance company have called the wrong person (i.e. gotten policy numbers mixed-up while processing the claim)? If not, how could a 3rd party have his insurance information? How common are fraudulent insurance claims (against another person)? And has anything similar happened to you or someone you know? My friend is a little worried because there is some minor damage to his rear bumper. We live in a major city and pretty much every 3rd car has nicks and scratches along the bumper from parking garage 'mysteries' and whatnot. Also, about 8 months ago, a young woman rear-ended us while we stationary, waiting to turn left at an intersection. Other than a scratch to his rear bumper caused by her license plate bolt, there was no cosmetic damage, and while we exchanged insurance information, my friend decided not to file a claim (she was very nice and didn't look as though she had a lot of money). I'd hate to think that it's her trying to commit fraud against him...""

What good car insurance?

I'm looking for a car insurance . I try to look fo a company that doesn't try to kill me with in payment. I live in new york city. Does anybody out there know a car insurance ...show more

Can health insurance coverage be dropped for a single department in a company? (Pennsylvania)?

I currently live in PA and my employer has said they will drop health insurance for my department, but not another department in the same company. I did some research online to see if this is possible or not. I originally started this job with guaranteed benefits and now they are being taken away. I was reading somewhere online (unsure of credibility, website is as follows:http://employee-benefits.lawyers.com/Employee-Benefits/Employer-Workplace-Benefits-FAQs.html) that a company cannot take away a certain departments health benefits and retain another departments. Below is the Q&A question from the stated website above: Q: Is my employer required to provide health benefits? A: Employers are generally not required to provide any health benefits. Only the state of Hawaii requires employers in the private sector to cover employees who work over 20 hours per week. Union contracts may include provisions for insurance as part of the agreement. However, health care and other benefits such as life or disability insurance are generally offered by employer as a means of attracting and keeping their workforce. If an employer does provide health coverage, federal law requires the employer to provide Consolidated Omnibus Reconciliation Act (COBRA) to an employee who loses her job for any reason outside of gross misconduct the opportunity to maintain coverage up to 18 months at her own expense. This applies to companies with 20 or more employees. Some states also have laws with similar protections for employees who work for companies with less than 20 employees. Generally, it's not illegal to provide health benefits only to some classes of employees (for example, only to full-time employees but not to part-time employees). But once the eligible classes are established, an employer cannot withhold insurance from some members of the class while offering it to others. The employer can require employees to follow the rules of the plan, which may require an employee to fulfill a waiting period or wait for an open enrollment period before joining. An employer can usually change, or even eliminate, a health plan, but must follow the rules and guidelines of the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA). I understand they cannot choose and select who receives and who does not (I interpreted this as discriminating between employees). I do not know health legislature very well, and if anyone could provide some information it would be very appreciated. As for me, I am going to try and find more information out about this. Thank you.""

How do insurance companies verify the adress you use for your car insurance is your actual adress?

I want to get my car insurance in a different state see how do car insurance companies know that the address and provide is where I live. And if I get caught what is the penalty

Made a mistake on previous car insurance?

I'm worried about changing insurance companies as I forgot to tell previous insuraure about 3 points I have. What will the new insurance company say about the situation? Should I ring my old insurance company and explain? But the insurance has expired thanks

No fault coverage of automobile insurance in California?

What is no-fault coverage? When you get in an accident, how it works? I don't know and understand the term.""

About how much would the insurance cost on a 2010 Mercedes Benz C300?

BTW I'M 16 YEARS OLD. Big factor, I know. I know I don't deserv it, I'm too young, yeah, I know. But I don't want any of those answers. Just please answer my question with no complaining about how you didn't get a nice car when you were 16. I just want an estimate. Thanks!""

Car/insurance sixteen yo?

I'm sixteen and I'm thinking about this car: http://www.autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?ct=u&car_id=296014776&dealer_id=100012676&car_year=2002&systime=&doors=&model=&search_lang=en&start_year=1981&keywordsfyc=&keywordsrep=&scarid=296515424&highlightFirstMakeModel=&search_type=both&distance=25&min_price=&rdm=1303705998432&drive=&marketZipError=false&advanced=&fuel=&keywords_display=&lastBeginningStartYear=1981&end_year=2012&showZipError=y&make2=&certified=&engine=&page_location=findacar%3A%3Aispsearchform&body_code=0&transmission=&default_sort=priceDESC&max_mileage=&color=&address=72076&sort_type=priceDESC&max_price=&awsp=false&make=AUDI&seller_type=b&num_records=25&cardist=22&standard=false How much do you think it would cost a month for insurance? I'll have a job and my parents have offered to pay a lil each month and help me out. Sorry, I'm completely new to all this and I just need a ballpark estimate.""

I need cheap car insurance in New York City?

I need cheap (FULL) coverage for a financed vehicle in the NEw York Area...I've tried the popular sites...any leads?

Car insurance company discriminate against me because I was not born in the UK?

I had a quote for car insurance through a well-known national company. They were aware I had a UK licence for 5 years and had no convictions, claims etc. I rang and spoke to a representative and she confirmed the quote. The following day I decided to accept and called them. We went through my information and the agent said, so you were born in the UK? I said no, I am a UK citizen but I was born abroad. The quote then went up by 200 !!!! I took issue and spoke to a manger who said this was legitimate when I told him I was certain it was illegal since the only information that had changed was my place of birth, he eventually said he would honour the original quote. I then bought the policy with a one-off payment. Insurance is a racket and I don't think they should be alllowed to get by with this. Does anyone know anything about this and what can be done next to make sure it doesn't happen to other people?""

progressive auto insurance quotes florida

progressive auto insurance quotes florida

Can I take out a separate insurance policy on my parents car?

My parents use Direct line as their insurance provider on their car. I looked into how much the insurance would be for me (an 18 year old female) once I pass my test which worked out quite expensive. However I looked at a few other providers and found some cheaper quotes for myself. As my parents are with Direct line can I have my own insurance with another provider for the same car? (If that makes sense) Thanks in advance.

What's the average cost of health AND dental insurance per month for.....?

....a 44 year old man. I am a non-smoker, and in good shape. I have no medical conditions, now or ever.""

Is Progressive Auto Insurance a good company?

I have several insurance quotes from State Farm and Allstate, and Progressive beats the price by almost half. But, when something looks to good to be true, it probably is. Is this good insurance? Are they good with claims?""

Can I drive my parents car without Insurance?

So I live in MA and I was wondering if I will get into trouble if I drive my parents car (which is insured under my dads name) when I am home for the Thanksgiving break (my name is not on my dad's insurance). Will having a written consent from my dad permitting me to drive the car help?

Affordable health insurance?

I am a 40 yr old female who lives in washington state and I have never been sick or in the hospital and never drank or smoked.I am 4ft11 and 160 lbs so I am overweight.I need help in finding some affordable health insurance.I went down today to apply for washington basic health and they told me that no more applications were being taken.Now what do I do.I cannot afford exspensive Health insurance.I only make 1,200 a month if that.I need insurance so I can get a physical witch I have never had.I haven't been to a doctor since a kid.can someone tell me if there is any good health insurance for under 100 a month that covers things like physicals and if I had a heart attack,stroke ect...please help me find a good insurance for a low price.""

Car insurance problem..help!!!?

my bf crashed my car and was trying to cover my car with his insurance they said since i gave him permission to drive that i had to cover it.. i callled my insurance they said since he was at fault that i have to cover my own car out of pocket..is there anything else i can do ...

Should the young pay the same for health insurance as the elderly?

Why or why not?

Should I buy car insurance or not?

I am a teenage driver of 16. Insurance is very high for a teenager. My parents have Allstate Car Insurance for four of their cars including a Toyota Corolla which im going to be driving. The Corolla is covered by AllState insurance. I have a California Driver's License and live in California. About 6 months ago, my mom asked the insurance company whether the insurance would cover the car if she lent the car to someone and the insurance company said that they would cover the car as soon as the person who borrowed the car has a VALID DRIVERS LICENSE. I have a valid drivers license but I am under 18 (I am 16). The insurance person did not say anything about age. My question is whether it is necessary or not to buy insurance for myself. It will be very expensive and I do not want to pay for it but I will If i have to. Do I have to get my own insurance for the car or not? If I dont buy insurance and I drive the corolla and get pulled over, am I okay or will I have problems?""

Still waiting to hear from car insurance if car is a write off?

its been a week since this guy hit me from behind. he was 100% at fault. how long do i have to wait to find out if my car was a write off? the car is fixable and i need to know how much to fix? want my car back!!!!!

Where can i get auto insurance online?

I was looking to buy auto insurance online. anyone know where to start looking

Will my car insurance go up even more now?

Two weeks ago I rear ended a Ford F150. There was very little damage done to their truck, but my mazda protoge was declared totaled. No ambulance was called and the people in the truck acted just fine. The driver was a lady who I thought was just obese but it turns out from the police report that she was 9 months pregnant. I was not arrested or anything at this scene but I did get a ticket for careless driving by failing to yield. I am a 25 year old male btw and I was on my mom's insurance driving her car. We called the insurance and found out that she was monitored and the baby was ok. She was due next week, but the insurance hasn't heard about the delivery or anything. The lady, however is claiming neck and back injuries. Will my insurance go up more because of the accident AND her claims or just the accident itself? I have to go to court in June just for the accident (it is mandatory here for every traffic violation). I need to know how much my insurance will go up to get a newcar""

Am I eligible for unemployment insurance in Alaska if I am a full-time student?

Am I eligible for unemployment insurance in Alaska if I am a full-time student?

Where can I find Affordable Health Insurance in Florida?

Where can I find Affordable Health Insurance in Florida?

Car insurance for young drivers?

im 21 and i passed my test in july i just wanted to no if anyone no,s good reasonable priced insurance companies for new drivers.thanks""

""Where can I find affordable insurance for sickle cell, full time student?""

If possible, in the Washington DC metro area. School is really expensive and it's very difficult to afford all these costly insurance while at the same time paying for school and living expenses.""

I am 17 and ive just passed my CBT.i am hoping too buy either 100cc or 125 cc. how much would m insurance be?

I am 17 and ive just passed my CBT.i am hoping too buy either 100cc or 125 cc. how much would m insurance be?

If the insurance is group 6 then how much ROUGHLY would the insurance be for a 17 year old?

the car is the rover streetwise so it's pretty new with good safety features.

How much would car insurance cost for a 17 year old girl?

Right, I'm 17. I getting my provisional licence in the next week or so, so I can start my driving lessons. When and if I pass my theory and practical, I would like to get my own car. I have a rough idea of which car I would like to get, but have no idea what I can do to get a rough idea on insurance. I've tried looking at a few websites and they're all useless haha. I'd love to have a Peugeot 106. Not the best car I know, but it would be suitable for me. I live in an area with off road parking, so this could possibly bring the insurance down a little. If someone can give a rough quote themselves, it'd be much appreciated and I can begin to plan ahead.""

Why do we have to have car insurance in the UK?

Why cant you chose whether you have insurance or not?

Can insurance for young drivers ...?

i want to buy a bmw 3 series convertible m sport diesel 2litre. the buying price is 13000 approximatley, unfortunatley i am 18 years old and this seems to be playing against me when it comes to insuring the car. i do not want to go down the line of fronting or breaking the law, but is there any way at all i can get a decent deal on insurance!? even if it means insuring myself to drive any car .. if that's possible?? any help would be appreciated. thanks!!""

I was in a car accident. My car was deem a total lost. The insurance towed my car away. I waited 1 year?

trying to get my claim paid. Today I received a letter from some car auction center, stating that I had to go get my car or they will charge me storage per day. now my car was a honda 05 I originally finaced the car and still owe money on the car. like 13000. The insurance company is not paying my claim. The finance company gave me a charge off on my credit. Now If I go pick up this car. is the car now mines? I do not have the title. How do I get the title.""

Can taking drivers ed save my parents money on car insurance?

i need to know how much, if any, people save on average""

What's the cheapest option for car insurance for a teen?

I just recently passed my driving test and I'm completely taken away by the prices I've saw for car insurance on my parents Astra, I'm getting prices up at 7K. I've decided to go out and buy a category 1 insurance car (or any that's a low category) so it will be cheaper to run but the only problem is, I don't have a job at the moment so only have savings. It wouldn't bother me not taking out my own policy because I understand that can be more expensive but is there an alternative for me until I get a job and earn money to get the policy so I can collect NCD's? One of my friends use to have his own policy on his family car, a big car like ours, until he had an accident and the price shot up. Now because he can't afford the monthly costs he just takes out 1 weeks insurance at a top when needed and this costs him around 40. What I don't understand though is that he's 18, the same age as me, and I thought you werent able to do short term insurance as a new driver? Although I think he somehow takes it under his parents policy? I'v no idea how this works if someone could shine a light on it? Another friend also had a Nissan Micra and was paying around 80-90 per month which I thought was very cheap (also the same age as me) for an insurance which makes me wonder if he is on his own policy? My dad will be getting insured on my own car also and be using it for work at nights. If anyone could come up with some solutions for me that would be great!! :) Thanks""

Where can i get the cheapest car insurance?

i live in virginia

LOOKING FOR HOME OWNERS INSURANCE CALIFORNIA WITH A ROTTWEILER?

I am purchasing a house this month and trying to get an IDEA on how much my home owners insurance will run me, however I have a rottweiler ( obedience trained, no attack training) and several insurance companies have out right told me they do not write policies for owners with rottweilers... any one know of a company that will cover me? and Not charge me an arm and a leg??""

progressive auto insurance quotes florida

progressive auto insurance quotes florida

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/boiler-insurance-quotes-priscilla-glenn/"

[blog-optimisticcoffeestuden-blog]

Fender bender, no insurance?

"Fender bender, no insurance?

My boyfriend got into a little fender bender with someone driving a rental car, his insurance just expired and he hadn't gotten it renewed yet. We both took each others information and there was a mall cop there as well. No police report was filed but when they find out he doesn't have insurance what will happen? Please no negative comments. Under enough stress as it is.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Liability insurance on a leased car?

If I lease a car or buy it on credit (a 2004 convertible mustang eg.) can I just buy cheap liability insurance? Please explain, I'm new to this and I need a car asap :/ please and thnx!!!""

Car insurance for young men in the uk... unfair?

I'm a 19 year old guy living in the UK.. and I get SO annoyed at how much more guys have to pay for car insurance. I understand that it's because some guys my age decide to drive like complete a*se holes, but that doesn't mean all guys do?.. and I really resent paying more, just because of the boy racers. Yes, most fast drivers are teenage boys. However, this doesn't mean that most of teenage boys are fast drivers. I drive a Hyundai Getz for crying out loud.. I'm not going to go racing in it! Grr! I simply cannot afford to insure it under my own name at my age. What does everyone else think? Personally, I think it's pretty sexist against young men, and I think there should be a test of some sort which we could take which could prove our innocence and drop the costs.. Does anyone know how much a lie detector test for the question I am a safe driver would cost?""

How much would the insurance cost with a 17 year old male driving a 1987 ford bronco 4X4 v8?

just wondering because i might buy one as a driving project truck

How much does it cost to insure a jewelry store?

I am doing a fairly in depth project for school and I need to find out how much it costs to insure a small retail jewelry store. Obviously it depends on allot of things but for the purpose of this project I just need a rough number. Thanks!

Cheapest car to insure for a first time driver?

Does anyone know what type of car is cheapest to insure for a first time female driver? and how much on average would you say it would cost to insure a 17 year old female?

17 year old student Car Insurance for a Ford Fiesta 1.25 or a 1.4 climate 2004-2005?

Insurance for a Ford Fiesta 1.25 or a 1.4 climate 2004-2005 I need reasonable car insure I have no no claims bonus and I am new driver. I have been quoted around 4000 fully com on a 4000 car. My budget for insurance is around 1400 full or third party. I am an A level Law student I will going to uni next year and I might use the car to commute to there

""Got into an accident , I have no car insurance but my dad has car insurance , will my dads insurance cover me?""

I failed to yield , I'm supposed to appear in court, what will happen? I'm under 18 and live with my parents and the damage wasn't a lot , just a scratch on the car I hit, will my dads insurance cover me? I don't use it a lot? What will happen? I also live in Illinois""

Need car insurance help!?

Here's my story: I am 23 yrs old and have gotten 3 speeding tickets. One already came off my record and another just recently came off. I got my renewal statement and my premium hasn't changed at all. Is there an error or tough luck for me?

""Auto insurance for a person, not a vehicle?""

I need personal insurance for me. It is for a job. It is a courrier job. I was told i needed personal insurance for me to drive any vehicle. It will not be covering any vehicles, just me.""

Good prices for car insurance

Can anyone suggest a car insurance company with good rates? I just had to add my daughter (16 and just got license) and my insurance went through the roof, even with the good student discount. I am currently with Mercury and I live in California. Thanks""

Insurance and pregnancy...

I am planning to get pregnant in March, 2009. After working things out with my husband, it seems like the best time for us Anyway, my insurance policy will finish in August and I'll have to get new insurance (I won't be able to continue with my current insurance policy for reasons beyond the scope of this question). Will this cause me problems with the new insurance company (I still don't know what insurance I am going to purchase)? Will the NOT cover my pregnancy and delivery and consider it a pre-existing condition? What's your advice? We really don't want to postpone pregnancy any more and now is not the best time for us""

Does my financed car absolutely require full coverage?

Hi, i just put a down payment on a new car, and I've had it for about a month now; they told me that I have to keep full coverage insurance on it but I really can't afford it. But I read through the papers, and it says just to keep basic insurance on it. Is the car realty trying to make more money by making me think that I have no choice but to do premium insurance, or are they right? My boyfriend told me that if it's not stated officially in writing, they're probably lying. Im 21 and imI've never been in an accident or had a driving offense of any kind, and im in college so need to save as much money as possible. Please give me serious answers only!! Thanks!""

What is insurance expense and preaid insurance ?

A review of the ledger of Khan Company at December 31, 2006, produces the following data pertaining to the preparation of annual adjusting entries. 1. Prepaid Insurance $9,800. The company has separate insurance policies on its buildings and its motor vehicles. Policy B4564 on the building was purchased on July 1, 2005, for $6,000. The policy has a term of 3 years. Policy A2958 on the vehicles was purchased on January 1, 2006, for $4,640. This policy has a term of 2 years.""

Whats the cheapest car insurance for a young driver?

Im 19 and i have got my test in october, my driving instructor has moved away and so i thought I will get a car, and i had recently bought one it is a renault clio grande 1149cc, im looking for a good insurance quote and an insurance quote that will drop in price when i pass my test because many insurance company's rise in price after the test""

Does any body know car insurance company that will insure left hand drive in the UK?

I have try search om google and phoning car insurance company's and no luck so far(5hours looking and phone some company's up). Car info Ford F150, 3.6L and maybe Honda civic 1.8.If u know any company's that worth trying please leave the name and contact number. your help will be great full. (first person that find the company that will insure theses cars will be best choose answers, I will contact them and if the will u will be best answer.)""

Car insurance for a 17year old help?

I just went online and was quoted 8grand to get insured to my dads 1.9 tdi VW Bora, would it be cheaper to buy a cheap car for a grand which is a 1.2 petrol engine and get that insured or should i stick to my dads car which cost 8 grand to insure? which one would end up being cheaper for me?""

Will you encourage health insurance to be sold across state lines?

I can buy car insurance anywhere but not health insurance. Why? If competition brings down prices then selling health insurance across state lines should bring prices down. I have not heard any candidate mention this.

What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?

What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?

Dependent's health insurance?

My friend wants to move into an apartment with me, we are both in college so we want to be roommates, but her parents say that they will not pay her health insurance if she moves out. Since she is a student, she is going to be a dependent of theirs for a few more years. Does being a dependent of her parents legally obligate the parents to pay her health insurance?""

How does health insurance work?

I'm completely lost on how health insurance works... and I'm finally starting to work and don't know what to do =/ so any information about it is greatly appreciated. thank you

How much would my car insurance go up if I got a mustang?

I'm 24 years old, have a good driving record, and I am currently on with my dad's insurance. I have a 2005 chevy aveo right now, with almost 75,000miles; and I pay $110 a month for insurance. Unfortunately, my car may be reaching it's end, and I may have to get a new car. I've found a used 2002 ford mustang, 2 door and 14,633 miles on it. How much do you think my insurance would go up? My dad says it would sky rocket... But I figure I'd ask anyway! Thanks!""

What is the best Life Insurance company?

I'd like to get my mom some life insurance as she just turned 61. I'd like to know the cheapest/legit place to get life insurance for her. Any suggestions?

Can you borrow against a primerica life insurance policy?

Can you borrow against a primerica life insurance policy?

Cheapest car insurance companies for young adults?

I'm a 23 year-old student attending to college, my dad has Allstate so he added me into his policy and it looks like I'll be paying $224.11 for six months; driving a 2001 Mazda Millenia. Does this sounds comprehensive? I feel as is too much. Also, what if I put myself as a married person, will that make a big difference? Thank you.""

Why do insurance companies charge first and last?

I had a nice Allstate agent call me and discuss my insurance with me, give me a lower rate and then come pay time, tell me that they require first and last. When I asked her why the last, she could not provide a good answer. I know not all insurance companies do this, but what is the point? When asked when I would get the last back, she said when I cancel my policy some day!! What if I don't want to cancel..ever? This does not make sense to me at all. Why keep my money there for nothing? When one does cancel the policy, do they get the money back with interest on that? Once confronted with these questions, the agent was not so nice any more. Can someone please answer the above?""

Fender bender, no insurance?

My boyfriend got into a little fender bender with someone driving a rental car, his insurance just expired and he hadn't gotten it renewed yet. We both took each others information and there was a mall cop there as well. No police report was filed but when they find out he doesn't have insurance what will happen? Please no negative comments. Under enough stress as it is.

Want the cheapest and most affordable insurance in Florida (Tampa) !!!?

He guys, I'm 19 years old and just received my driving license this week. I want to insure my car that I just bought recently , would someone tell me a name of a company that offer an affordable insurance for student ? Just to let you know , some people say that there is no differences between insurance companies prices. but actually that is WRONG !!!>>>>> Some companies try to get customers by cheap prices > please let me know if you have experiences this situation.""

Speeding ticket and car insurance?

I was wondering if you get a speeding ticket you get points on your license which means your insurance goes up. What if you don't have insurance. For example if its under your parents name but you get the ticket would their insurance go up even if its you don't have car insurance

""How do you purchase a car without insurance, and how do you get insuracnce with out a car?""

I left my insurace expire, and noe I need to get insurance, but I don't know what car i'm going to get, so which comes first, the insurance or the car?""

How much would a doctors check up be without insurance?

Please excuse my grammar, but I'm a bit panicky. I need to know the cost of a doctors check up in California for a 21 year old man without insurance. My boyfriend has been having some chest pains, and we think he sprained his wrist. I'm so worried about him. He can't afford insurance at the moment, due to the fact that he can barely pay for his college classes and food. I need an estimate from anyone who has been in a similar situation. Thank you so much in advance!!""

MemberSelect Auto Insurance?

I have AAA right now and paying way more than I should-when I told them I was switching to progressive they wanted me to check out the quotes from their new insurance company-I have to say they're very competitive but I'm leary of going with a company I've never heard of...anyone a member of MemberSelect who can tell me about their experience?

""Car insurance, can't find answer anywhere and insurance companies not helping?""

Hi, Basically the car i currently have is costing me a lot of money and my insurance didn't go down as much as id hoped. Anyways I took out an insurance policy because it wasn't convenient to sell it when my old agreement expired, I'm paying monthly around 70. I'm looking to sell my car next month and buy a new car (something a lot cheaper!). The question is since i'm paying monthly for my insurance will that go down depending on the value of the insurance? I find this confusing because there are so many hidden charges. many thanks!""

Im an expecting teen &im about to get married. what would be the best life&health insurance to get?

please provide options or suggestions. we both have monimum wage jobs and it needs to be affordable.

What is the cheapest car insurance for an 18 year old girl?

I am learning to drive and have my provisional. I want to get a car and have looked at many and the insurance is 3000 or more. I don't mind what first car I get but it has to have 5 doors. Can anyone suggest any cars which have cheap insurance. Thanks in advance

How much do you think my boyfriend would have to pay for medical insurance?

He has bronchitis but he still smokes... Alot. I'm trying to get him to quit but he's been going through some family problems and is finding it hard to quit. Lately, he's been telling me how sometimes when he's lays down he feels a sharp pain in his chest. I told him to get it checked but he doesn't have medical insurance and is currently unemployed. I want to help and pay or as least chip in because I don't make much either but I need to know the price. I would appreciate if someone could give me a number that is accurate or close to being accurate. If the price is way too high, any info you can give to help our situation would be great. Thank you""

Insurance for new drivers?

hi i am about to turn 18 and for my birthday my mom and me are going to lease a car for me. the car is 20000 and its new. the insurance is crazzzy expensive but my mom is going to by a car to right when i am so is just keep that i mind for the insurance and stuff. what is the cheapest way to get insurance?? please help

""If I fill in a online Auto Insurance quote ,give them information like my SS# am I at risk for Idenity Theft?""

If I fill in a online Auto Insurance quote ,give them information like my Social Security number and the rest of my personal information that I am I asked for online am I putting myself at risk for Identity Theft?""

Does anyone know where i can get car insurance?

does anyone know where a college student with bad credit can get a car insurance

Cheap car insurance?

any one know where the best place to cheap car insurance, my dad is going to insure a car for me to teach me to drive, it needs to be in his name but i ned to be a driver on the policy.""

My car was totalled when I got rear-ended. How do I get the best price for it from the insurance company?

The accident was the other guy's fault (in California). The insurance company chose to total it and pay me, rather than have it fixed. But the price they are quoting me is very low, lower than Kelley Blue Book and lower than asking prices in local classifieds. They say they use their own program, but I can't replace what I had with the amount they are offering. What rights do I have and is there anything I can do to get that offer up?""

Is there any programs in Tennessee (US) to help single mothers with car insurance?

I know this isn't the right catagory (I posted it in the correct one also) but I usually get good, helpful answers here so please try to help me! I am a single mother and I do work, but it's only seasonal, as of right now (there is talk I might be hired on full time but the hours would be very slim for a while after the holidays...it's retail). I was attending college online and I paid 6 months of car insurance with my living allowance from my student loans...well..my (ex) partner lost her job and we had to move and I was going through too much stress with a newborn and moving and everything that I had to quit school...now in December my insurance is due again and I am not going to have the money. I just started working so I haven't made any money yet. Is there anything to help me pay car insurance? I am trying my best make a better life for my daughter and I, but it gets soo discouraging working but still stressing soo much over money. I am trying to take care of my student loan but I have to come up with like $1500 to pay at least half of what I owe before they will give me another loan to go back to school and get a degree and I do not have that kind of money and with little family support no one will loan me that much. Please help me I dont' know what my options are right now.""

In need of a good dental insurance plan in South Florida.

I desperately need braces but I can't afford them, neither can my parents. I have two teeth that I call my shark teeth because they grew in back of my normal line of teeth. One on the top, and one on the bottom. So it bothers the hell out of my tongue and I can't stand it anymore. I'm always getting those annoying sore taste buds, like one would get if they bite their tongue, on my tongue because one of my shark teeth is my fang so it hurts like hell. I need to fix my teeth but I'll need a good dental insurance plan that covers a big percentage of the cost of my braces. And it cant be just a dental discount plan, those on average only discount 25% and I need more than that. I'm 17, I live with my parents and they'll be paying for it, but it will only be a single plan, not a family plan. I live in South Florida. So if anyone can give me the name of a great insurance plan, then you'll be a miracle worker. Thank you.""

Car insurance and registration?

SO, I recently bought a car in New Jersey form a car dealer but didn't get the license plate for it because eI have a FL license and I need insurance. I rencety asked a friend for a recommended car insurance provider and he informed me that the car needs to be registered in FL to get FL insurance. Now, my questions is does it really need to be registered in FL to get FL insurance? because my license is a FL license, not a NJ one.""

Who has the most affordable health coverage?

Who has the most affordable health coverage?

Car insurance for 17 year old male?

I am learning how to drive, and am looking at what cars would best suit me in terms of cheapness and how cheap to insure. I have looked at a few online quotes for a few cars being, 2001 peugeot 206 1.1, ford fiesta 1.2 1997, cheapest was 4 grand from post office. I know i haven't pasted my test yet, but i want to have a rough idea how much it will cost me. These quotes are madness i cannot afford that, i will be paying for this car myself and insurance myself, i work part time and will have to save. Is there any special classes i can take that would lower my insurance? I have heard of special night classes or something along those lines. What cars would be best for me looking at? Also are older cars or cars with higher mileage cheaper to insure? Many thanks :)""

Who understands health insurances? please help?

Okay so im 22 and have no health insurance, i just started working, and at this company they offer health insurance for full time positions only and well i am part time. I have had swollen tonsils since i was fourteen and been hospitalized twice because it was so bad that literally both tonsils were smashed together (i know gross) well i guess the question is, i want to try to get a health insurance that will minimize extremely the cost of getting these suckers removed. I dont understand all the deductible talk. So which insurance do you think is affordable and might be the one for me and my need? Please any advice and suggestions will be appreciated. Its a constant pain to go to the doctors and just come out with antibiotics which i guess take the pain but im not lying when i say that they are everyday permanently swollen. Please and Thank you.""

Can a 17year old get kit car insurance?

I'm 17 and thinking of getting an old mini and doing it up, I'm not sure if I can get kit car insurance, I have no points on my licence and if I could get one does anyone know how much it will be? Thanks:)""

What is the most popular and best auto insurance broker in NYC? Any recommendations? What is the advantage?

By best, I mean the lowest priced rate they can come up with. What is the advantage I get going to a broker instead of directly going to a popular auto insurance company? Thanks a lot.""

Health insurance .?

hello...i am 33 year old and going to school full-time. anyone out there know any cheap health insurance that i can apply for? i am mostly healthy but just in case. plus does the government support full-time students with at least health insurance? i am from memphis tn are. thank you!!!

Where can I find affordable health insurance in the state of New York?

Where can I find affordable health insurance in the state of New York?

Audi Q5 2014 car insurance cost houston?

i just moved to Us , Houston and i am 32 year old male so i would like to buy a new Audi Q5 2.0T any idea how much the full insurance ? and is it good car Q5 2.0 T ? Thanks a lot""

Fender bender, no insurance?

My boyfriend got into a little fender bender with someone driving a rental car, his insurance just expired and he hadn't gotten it renewed yet. We both took each others information and there was a mall cop there as well. No police report was filed but when they find out he doesn't have insurance what will happen? Please no negative comments. Under enough stress as it is.

Car insurance question?

I'm 17 and still living with my parents. I just got a car and now I need to find insurance. My dad doesn't want me on his because then, if I got in an accident, his rates would go up. My question is, if I were to cause his rates to go up and then got kicked off his plan, would his rates go back down? I'm curious because I really would rather not get my own insurance, being on my dad's would be much much much more affordable.""

Will my insrance increase?

I have a VW polo at the moment, and insured with ''Quinn Direct.'' If i put Allows on my car, will the insurance cost go up?""

""FL Insurance, out of state registration?""

Moving to FL from a different state. Getting Florida Auto Insurance, but wanting to keep registration for the next year or so in the out of state registration I have. Can this be done? I know that FL says you are required to register your vehicle with them, but I have a year and a few months left on my out of state registration still. My question is, can I get Florida auto insurance and keep my out of state car registration? I know that the opposite cannot be done, meaning if you want to register in FL you cannot keep your of state insurance, you must get FL insurance. But is it mandatory that if you get FL auto insurance, you must register in FL?""

What's an affordable life insurance with no health exam?

My father needs life insurance and has health problems. He needs something with low monthly payments, but will provide enough if he has a natural death.""

Violations that show up on insurance quotes in nj?

About 2 years ago i got a ticket for not stopping at a stop sign. I went to court and they knocked it down to something so i wouldn't get any point and just pay a fine. I don't remember what they knocked it down to. But why is it still a concern on my auto insurance. I didn't get any points so should it matter?

Denied for life insurance thru employer?

Met life denied me for life insurance. Met Life sends a denial letter to my employer....Can I get fired for that...The life insurance company stated they cannot disclose any info, however, can Human Resources call me in and ask me why? It is a company life insurance...... I would think this is a privacy or Hippa Issue......Need some help..""

Can u have two car insurance policies in your name?

Can u have two car insurance policies in your name?

Help with life insurance?

Term insurance is recommended over whole life insurance for most people. If you, too, choose term insurance, how might you then provide a long-term savings for yourself since term insurance has no savings plan?""

How much are insurance?

I asked this, before but it was too general so here are the insurances i want the price of.. 1. Health 2.Car 3.life 4.home in georgia.""

Yes/No: Do you have health insurance?

Yes/No: Do you have health insurance?

Gap insurance on new auto?

what is the cost for gap insurance for honda acord 4 door sedan 06 year

Young drivers car insurance uk?

I'm having a lot of trouble with find insurance. I really need help , or advice , what am i doing wrong .. everyone around me is getting deals of around 1.200-1.800 pounds.. I've chosen a Clio which is one of the cheapest insurance cars , I also tried , adding different drivers or companies , black boxes etc -.- and the cheapest quote i got was 6.500.. which is like triple the price of the car . Anyone any ideas ? Help.""

If a health insurance company can't deny my pre-existing condition...?

Why should I buy insurance at all?

Totaled a Financed car Liability Insurance!?

Okay December 22 2012 I went to Eldorado Motor to Finance a nice car! I'm 18 had no credit but I held a job since I was 16! Anyways I got Approved! I picked out a Red 2001 Ford Focus! Its was 7, 000 butt after everything was said and done it all added up to like 10, 000! Anyways when I got the car I didn't know they wouldn't let me leave with the car unless I had insurance! So after I gave the $500 Down payment! They was like alright all we need is proof of insurance & sign some paper work and its mine! Well I only had like 600 bucks and 100 left after I gave the down payment...I told them I wouldn't be able to get insurance until next payday cause I was broke! They worked with me and said how much will it cost you for insurance? I told them it depends on if I needed Liability or full coverage! They said all you need is liability! I was in shook! I clarified like twice if I could get Liability? They said yes! So I called State Farm got a 220 quote and Eldorado Motor dropped my down payment to 300 and refunded me 200 So II paid for insurance! And was rolling! Butt I do remember asking what happens if I wreak? They told me they had a repair shop and all I would have to do is pay a 200 dollar deductible! And they would repair it and just tack the rest of the repairs on my car note! So fast forward like 4 months its April 12 2013 I was in a hurry Tailgating a Truck and finally this ttuck in front of me swerved into the next lane! I thought the Truck was getting outta my way so I could go ahead of him turms out he swerved around a turning car! And I couldn't stop in time and I rear ended the car turning!!! So the Truck drives off and I got out checked on everybody no one was hurt! But my car and the guy I hit the cars was Totaled I could tell by just looking at it! Anyways my Liability insurance covered the guy I hit but not me!!! So I called Eldorado Motor and told them everything now i've been without a car 4 a week and don't know what the car lot wants to do""

Can I get renter's insurance without a deductible?

Yesterday I got a quote from Geico on renters insurance. They said that I would have $6,000 personal belongings protection, $100,000 personal liability, with a $500 deductible. This would cost me $142 a year. I'm okay with the coverage amounts and the cost of the policy but I would like to get a smaller or zero deductible. Is this possible with renters insurance? Also Geico doesn't write the policy they use someone else but didn't want to what company it is. Can I get a zero deductible? What insurance company should I go with?""

Hidden car insurance add-ons? (for example red paint cost more to insure)?

I know that your car insurance cost more if your vehicle is painted red, and if something that ridiculous is going to up my insurance price, I'm sure it's not alone. So, my QUESTION ~> Does anyone know of any other stupid details that will add to my car insurance bill?<~ (I'm looking to buy my first car and I have to pay for my own insurance. So I'm trying to avoid extra stupidity before it hits me with a financial price-upper.) HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""

Medican Insurance after 21 years old???????

I am 20 years old i will be 21 soon , i heard that my medican insurance will be cut when i am 21 years old ... Can some one please tell me what i can do to keep my insurance ???? WIll going to school full time help, working ... anything please just tell me anything that u know.""

Can I apply for Health insurance and how?

Im only 17 years old and i no longer want to be under my mom's health insurance because im pregnant. So i was wondering what are my options for health insurance? i have no idea where to begin.

How much will buying a 2005 Mistubishi Lancer Evolution 8 raise my insurance premium?

I'm looking into buying a new car and I'm a bit of a motor head and like to race. The Evo 8 is my next choice, but I can't find out how much it will raise my premium. Anyone know? If it helps, my insurance provider is Allstate.""

Do you believe everyone has a right to medical insurance?

What are the pros and cons of giving everyone access to medical care?

Why do Conservatives have a problem with buying health insurance but not car insurance?

They care more about their cars than human life typical! How can they be so selfish!? I don't see millions of conservatives complaining about being forced to buy car insurance. Typical conservative hypocrisy!

""Would Obama's plan mean free (or affordable) comprehensive health insurance for everyone, no matter what?""

Is this what we can hope for? Affordable or even free health care for all Americans, rich and poor?""

""I need help with insurance for my car, can anyone help?

if i get insurance under my dads name but without me on the policy and i get a speeding ticket( lets just say i did) the cop asks for proof of insurance does it matter that i am not on it. i think it will not as long as i have insurance on the car im driving right and i have a drivers licence. please help im from tx

What would be the insurance rates for a 16 year old with aford maverick?

I have good grades no felonies pretty much no anything. How much would it be for a 1971 ford maverick

How much will my insurance be?

I found a 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse and im concerned about the insurance since im 16. sport cars= more expensive. Lets say if a Crown Vic was $130 a month, how much would a sports car be? I will also be on my parents insurance witch there is three cars already on there insurance so the cost will go down some i believe. If i maintain a B- or higher grade for school my insurance will go down an additional 10%.""

Fender bender, no insurance?

My boyfriend got into a little fender bender with someone driving a rental car, his insurance just expired and he hadn't gotten it renewed yet. We both took each others information and there was a mall cop there as well. No police report was filed but when they find out he doesn't have insurance what will happen? Please no negative comments. Under enough stress as it is.

Best/cheapest car w/ durability and power?

I'm going to buy a car in the near future, but I'm just having some trouble finding a good one. Here is a list of what I'm looking for: -0-60 in less than 7 seconds -Over 20 MPG -Easy to work with -A few aftermarket parts -Manual -CHEAP INSURANCE!!! Optional: -Not a convertible -RWD preferred. -DURABLE Thanks for your replies!""

Which company have cheapest auto insurance?

Which is cheapest auto insurance

Know of a good Car Insurance place in LA anyone?

Where can i Find a Good Car insurance place in LA, CA? Looking only of liability insurance. But Cheap!!""

Car Insurance....Help?

Hiya!!! i am 17, jus passed my test, got pass plus aswell, am male and a full time student...does any cool dude out there no of any cheats on how to get the cheap car insurance coz for a 1.2 fiat punto costs me 2800 and i jus havnt got that money!!!! any help really would be appreciated :) :) :) thankssssss x""

Car insurance for new driver age 19?

got my license now all i need is a car and car insurance, would like to know what is or can be the average car insurance cost for 19yr old on the parents insurance and my own insurance..""

CDW for car insurance?

When I went to Ireland in 2010 and other previous years, I did not get collision insurance on my rental car as it was covered by my credit card. My World MasterCard no longers offers this coverage. Does anyone know a credit card that does?""

Affordable term life insurance quote?

What good is affordable term life insurance?

Do classic/muscle cars cost more to insure?

Im 16 years old with my driving permit going to be g2 in a few months (can drive alone with g2) Im looking to get a classic or muscle car so cars such as late 60's camaro or mustangs to something later such as late 80's monte carlos the car will likely be a project (im up for a small to medium restoration) so id try to get antique insurance? my cousin has antique insurance on his '81 camaro thats almost mint and its been appraised and everything and he can drive it on weekends and theres a set km's that he can drive according to his insurance im fully able to do a restoration as ive worked in an auto shop and I know a bunch of parts suppliers & garages (including one of my cousins) basically ive got the place, the tools, the know-how (im an auto student) and a parts suppliers anyways what I want to do is have it on my dads insurance, his record has been clean since started driving which around 30 years do insurance companies charge more for say cars that have options such as SS or other things that make is look sporty or make the car faster (bigger & better engine) say car with a 267 chevy v8 would be less insurance than one with a 350 v8? is it cheaper to say my dads the primary driver while I drive it? do older cars generally have cheaper insurance? is there such a thing as project car insurance? (do I even have to have insurance on a project if im not driving it say for a month?) im just so confused with all the insurance talk like premiums and deductibles etc etc.""

""What would car insurance cost for a 21 year old female in Tampa, FL?""

I'm planning on buying a Scion FRS and I'm just trying to make an estimate of what my car insurance is going to cost. I plan on getting full coverage. I'd like an estimate of what I'm going to be paying, also it would be nice if I knew what the best car insurance companies to go with are. It's difficult for me to get a quote online because the FRS isn't registered with any insurance companies yet.""

Is an acura integra cheap on insurance?

my son is thinking of buying one

Does anyone know where I could get some affordable dental insurance?

I'm on disability and my job doesnt offer benefits.

Can my mom carry me on her car insurance?

My mom lives in GA and has transfered her car insurance over to GA, but I live in SC and am getting my permit in SC. Can she still put me on her insurance even though I live in SC and am getting my permit in SC.""

Best Place to get a Car Insurance Comparison Free Online?

What sites are best for car insurance comparison? I am trying to find a site that has the widest range of quotes and policies so I can pick insurance cover that is right for me, the plan I have that's due to expire soon is terrible and I feel really ripped off. It's just proving really hard to find something affordable and with good quality cover. Has anyone tried a car insurance comparison site that offers quotes from more than just the usual four or five insurance providers?""

How much would it cost for me to get put on my parents insurance?

I'm 18 and looking to get my licence soon. My mom, her boyfriend, and his daughter are all on the same insurance. They have Nationwide. But I don't have a car yet, so I'd be driving my mom & stepdads car. ABOUT how much do you think it would cost?""

I recently moved to Brooklyn and I need to find affordable auto insurance for my car. Any suggestions?

I know car insurance in NY is expensive in general, but any suggestions would help!""

Car insurance question?

i had a non fault accident for which the claim is still ongoing as the 3rd party is not admitting liability and we both are with same insurance. The problem is that our car is booked in for repairs but and we have fully comprehensive insurance but the insurance is saying that they cannot guarantee us courtesy car as no one is admitting liability??? and they told me to phone hire company to ask them if they can provide one, i have always thought that with fully comp you are guaranteed courtesy car but i do not understand what they are doing.""

Staying in California for 2 months. Is it worth it to get a motorcycle?

I'm from Indiana, am over 21, and have a valid Indiana drivers license. I'm going to be staying in California for 6-8 weeks and would like some sort of transportation. I'm considering buying a motorcycle or scooter but am not sure if it will be worth it considering the hassle of registration, insurance, etc. Then I would sell it again before I go back to Indiana. My brother has offered to give me motorcycle lessons before I leave and I could get my Motorcycle learner's permit from the local BMV. Does anyone have experience with titles, registrations, insurance etc and could tell me if it would be worth the hassle?""

Auto Insurance Help....?

I need insurance on my car, and i don't fully own it, my name is on the title and i finaced it so i have a lien on it....i'm only 20 so full coverage is pretty expensive! would it be possible for my dad to be able to add me to his policy?""

""Can a driver without a motorcycle license, insure a motorcycle?""

To be more specific, here is the story. I am a 20 year old male from Illinois and getting motorcycle. Insurance is something I dont want my name in, well I want to be a second driver. The question is can the insurance be written to my dad, who does not have a motorcycle license. He does have a regular license. I know that second drivers are insured. So I would be paying less money for insurance, but I would be able to drive my bike. My dad will be getting a license, but first needs a motorcycle. So again can he get insurance on this motorcycle without a license?""

Help! Affordable health insurance for healthy 2yr old in Florida?

Do you know of any good insurance? We're looking for one and it's confusing.

Car Insurance Question?

Here's the quick version of the story- I'm 21 and have just totaled my Altima on a rainy night, crashing into the back of a parked SUV, also totaling that. I have received a $700 bill for the ambulance, a $1200 for the radiography and, here's the kicker, a $24,000 bill for the hospital. I do not have medical insurance or medical coverage on my car insurance and will not be able to pay off the hefty hospital bill. What options do I have?""

What are the best car insurance comparison sites you have used in London?

What are the best car insurance comparison sites you have used in London?

Am I better off not reporting vandalism to my auto insurance?

My back window was smashed out, and I appear to have a $500 deductable for comprehensive insurance. If I can get the window fixed for less than that, is there any point in telling my auto ins? If I do tell them, will they raise my rates? Any harm in not telling them? Thanks!""

What are insurance company for?

My car was a total loss the insurance company paid what the car was worth but not the finance charges. How do this work? I thought your insurance paid everthing and everything was a lump sum

Should I call my insurance company?

Last fall I hit a raccoon really hard and it ruined my front spoiler and my radiator, the damage was under my deductable so I decided to just buy the parts on my own. Since I don't drive the car in the winter I parked the car over the winter I decided to just put the car into storage and buy the parts in the spring, so I bought the parts, installed them and now I found out that my motor is ruined from the car overheating after I hit the raccoon. and its going to cost a ton of money to get everything fixed on this car. Would I be able to claim something like this even though it happened 6 months ago?""

Fender bender, no insurance?

My boyfriend got into a little fender bender with someone driving a rental car, his insurance just expired and he hadn't gotten it renewed yet. We both took each others information and there was a mall cop there as well. No police report was filed but when they find out he doesn't have insurance what will happen? Please no negative comments. Under enough stress as it is.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/umbrella-insurance-quote-progressive-kaylee-goodman/"

[themoneybuff-blog]

How to find your purpose in life: 12 powerful exercises to help you discover purpose and passion

Shares 298 Happy blogiversary! Twelve years ago today, I launched a humble little blog about personal finance this blog, Get Rich Slowly. It was meant as a way for me to share the things I was learning as I dug out of debt. It turned into so much more. For the next couple of weeks, Im on the road in the southeastern U.S., speaking to people about personal finance and meeting with readers. This morning, for instance, I spoke to the 76 people attending Camp FI in Spring Grove, Virginia. My topic? No surprise: The importance of having purpose in your life. As you can see, I am a PowerPoint genius

If youve spent any time reading my material, you know that I believe purpose is the foundation on which all plans financial and otherwise ought to be built. Purpose is a compass. It helps you set big goals, sure, but it also acts as a guide when times get tough. Your mother died? Your wife left? Your husband lost his job? If you know what your primary purpose is in life, these stressful events are much easier to deal with. For this presentation, I added a new twist. You see, a lot of folks who are interested in money tend to pick things like getting out of debt and becoming financially independent as their purpose or mission. But I think these are poor choices. Ive seen far too many folks make debt elimination a goal then fall right back into debt once theyve achieved it. And there are plenty of people who reach FI (or retire early) only to find they no longer know what to do. (Its like aiming to reach a certain weight instead of choosing to make lasting lifestyle changes that lead to weight reduction.) Instead, I think its important to recognize that your financial situation should be side effect of pursuing some greater purpose. Financial independence ought not be your aim; its merely a means to an end. When I speak about purpose (which is often), I tend to fall back to the George Kinder/Alan Lakein personal mission statement exercise. I feel like its one of the best available tools for helping people find focus. But its not the only tool. Today, to celebrate this sites twelfth birthday, I want to present twelve alternative exercises for discovering your purpose and passion. If youve tried one (or more) of these without success, try another. One of them is sure to be useful for you. Note: Ive done my best to credit sources for these exercises. (Many come from Barbara Shers excellent book Wishcraft, which is all about crafting the life you really want.) At the end of this article, Ill give you a list of recommended reading and tell you what I think is the single best book for discovering passion and purpose. Your One-Hundred Word Philosophy The first exercise is one I created myself. Its based on CrossFits world-class fitness in 100 words statement. Theres no time limit for this exercise, but it could take a while so be prepared. Your aim is to write out your life philosophy in exactly one hundred words no more and no less. This can take any form you want, from a statement of values to a list of instructions. Begin by writing down your core beliefs and values. It might also be helpful to think about books that have had a big impact on your life or powerful advice youve received in the past. Based on your experience and beliefs, what is your life philosophy? As an example, heres my own hundred-word philosophy, which Ive written as instructions to myself:

Some of those admonitions are my own invention. Some come from books like The Four Agreements and The Power of Now. Refuse to let fear guide your decision-making process, was advice from my girlfriend. Create your own luck is based on my friend Michelles advice to create your own certainty. Again: Target one hundred words exactly. Itll force you to spend time thinking and editing and being introspective. As you can see, I paid an artist friend to create a pretty letterpress poster of my 100-word philosophy, which Ive hung on the wall here at home. I look at it every day. Obviously, you dont have to go that far. Your Original Self This next exercise, which comes from Barbara Shers Wishcraft, sounds hokey at first. Turns out, however, that its a lot of fun to complete. Heres how it works. Set aside about half an hour for quiet contemplation. (Theres no writing involved in this exercise only thinking.) Let your mind wander back to your childhood. Remember what you used to do to have fun especially those times you especially treasured. When you were allowed to daydream or do whatever you wanted, what did you choose to do? Try to answer these questions: What sorts of things attracted and fascinated you when you were a kid?What sense smell, sight, hearing, taste, touch did you live through most? Or did you enjoy them all equally? What kinds of sensory experiences do you remember best?What did you love to do (or daydream about), no matter how silly or unimportant it might seem now? Did you have secret aspirations and fantasies that you never told anyone about? After thirty minutes of unstructured reverie, ask yourself a couple of questions. First, do you feel like theres a part of you that still loves the things you loved as a child? What do you miss most? Next, ask yourself what talents or abilities these childhood dreams and passions might point to in the present. What can you do today to reconnect with some of who you were as a kid? As I mentioned, I enjoyed this exercise. Although you dont have to, I wrote down what I liked as a kid: When I was a kid, I loved the outdoors. I loved to run and play outside. We lived in a small trailer house but were surrounded by acres and acres of land. We had freedom to romp across the fields, explore the nearby woods and orchards, and to browse the banks of the creeks. My favorite family vacations were those that involved camping. (Unfortunately, there werent many.) I loved looking at the insects and the plants. I liked digging in the dirt. I liked finding bones and rocks and shards of glass. I enjoyed playing games outside tag, dirt clod fights, whatever. I especially liked building forts. I liked going down to the big tree and hanging out under its branches. Yes, theres still a part of me that loves this sort of thing. I think thats one of the reasons Ive come to treasure the morning walks with the dog. Its an opportunity for me to explore the same stretch of ground over and over and over again. I truly enjoy watching how the woods and fields change a little every day. And thats probably one of the big reasons I enjoyed the RV trip. It forced me to connect to the world outside in a big way. What talents and abilities might this interest point to? Im not sure really. Who Do You Think You Are? This activity is short but effective. On a blank piece of paper, spend 5-10 minutes answering the question: Who do you think you are? How would you describe yourself to a total stranger? Be objective. What are most important characteristics that define your identity? There arent any right or wrong answers here, and theres only one rule: Dont overthink this. Put down the first and surest answers that come into your head, the ones that make you say, This is me. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] Focus on Five Well explore the next exercise in greater depth next week when I write about goals. Youll find a version of this in nearly every book on productivity or positive psychology. This version is taken from Angela Duckworths Grit (which in turn borrowed it from billionaire Warren Buffett, who may have taken it from Alan Lakein). Heres how it works: Write down a list of your top twenty-five goals (or more). This might seem impossible at first, but give it a try. List all of the projects youre currently working on, both at home and at work. List all of the things you want to do but feel like theres no time. List at least twenty-five. More is beter.Next, review your list. Which goals are most appealing? Do some soul-searching it doesnt matter how and narrow the list to the five highest-priority objectives. Just five. Circle them (or copy them to another piece of paper).Lastly, look at the goals you didnt circle. These you avoid at all costs, writes Duckworth. Theyre what distract you; they eat away time and energy, taking your eyes from the goals that matter more. Harsh but true. If you need help prioritizing your goals it can be tough to sort through so many! rate each one on a scale of 1 to 10 based both on how interesting it is and how important it is. Then multiply those numbers together. For instance, if one of your goals has an interest rating of 9 (very interesting) and an importance rating of 3 (not that important), its score would be 27. Compare the scores. Higher is better. Duckworth says that she would add a fourth step to Buffetts exercise. Ask yourself: To what extent do these goals serve a common purpose? The more closely aligned your top five goals are, the better youll be able to focus on your passion (or purpose). When I write about goals next week, Ill ask you to do a different version of this exercise drawn from Sonja Lyubomirskys The How of Happiness. A Letter to the Future Heres another exercise thats common in self-help manuals. Youre going to contemplate and describe the personal legacy youd like to leave in this world. Think about how you want to be remembered by your grandchildren or great-grandchildren. (If youre childless like me, youll have to pretend.) In the form of a first-person letter, write a summary of your life, values, and accomplishments as youd like them known to your descendants. Pretend like youre near the end of your life and want to share the greatest hits version of your personal story for posterity. One common way to approach this is to pretend youre writing your own obituary. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey offers the following variation: In your minds eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life. As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization where youve been involved in service. Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives? Make no mistake: This can be a powerful exercise. Tear-inducing, even. Thats okay. By thinking about how youd like people to remember you in the future, after youre gone, you can take steps to align your present self and actions with that ideal vision. 20 Things You Like to Do Heres another exercise from Barbara Shers Wishcraft. She says she borrowed it from Sid Simons Values Clarification. To begin, list twenty things you like to do. You must come up with twenty. Thats the only rule. Dont cop out and make a list of four things you like to do. Or twelve. List at least twenty. (You can write down more, if you like.) Now youre going to make a chart. Take a fresh piece of paper. Down the left side of the page, in the first column of the chart, copy your list of twenty things you like to do. (The order is completely unimportant.) Now, across the top of the page create 8-10 columns. Label them like this (you might have to write tiny): How long since you last did this activity? Free or costs money? Alone or with somebody? Planned or spontaneous? Job related? Physical risk? Fast-paced or slow-paced? Mind, body, or spiritual? Feel free to add other categories that occur to you. (At home or in the world? Spouse likes also? Enjoyed a decade ago? Whatever. Its your list.) Now go through your chart and fill it out for each of your interests. What patterns emerge? What do these patterns tell you about your self and life? To illustrate what this chart ought to look like, I did the exercise myself. It was enlightening. And it took me longer to complete than I expected. I could come up with sixteen things I like to do, but expanding the list to twenty was tough. Heres a screenshot of my list. (Because Im a nerd, I used a spreadsheet instead of a piece of paper.)

Kind of sad (and hilarious) to note that this list is in the order I thought of things. So, that means computer games came to mind as something that I like to do before sex did. Yikes! Looking at my list, it seems like I do a pretty good job of doing the things I like to do. Not perfect but good. Theres also a good balance of free activities vs. activities that cost money, and an even divide between social and alone time. But its clear that most of the things I like to do are spontaneous, not work-related, mental, and most of all slow. The only activity on my list thats truly adrenaline-inducing is riding my motorcycle. Who Do You Want to Be? This exercise is based on a conversation I had with my friend Tyler Tervooren. On a blank piece of paper, make a list of qualities and habits youd like to develop. Do you want to ride your bicycle every morning? Do you want to be more patient with your children? Do you want to be more helpful to your co-workers? Do you want to read the Bible every day? Do you want to drink less alcohol? It doesnt matter what order you write these in. Take as long as you need to make your list. When youve finished, reframe each item using the following format: I am the kind of man who [blank] where [blank] is the habit or quality youre trying to develop. (And obviously, if youre a woman please reframe each of these as I am the sort of woman who [blank].) For example, if you wrote down that youd like to get in the habit of waking 10,000 steps every day, you might reframe that as: I am the kind of woman who walks 10,000 steps every day. Or, better: I am the kind of woman who walks everywhere she can. If one of your aims is to talk less about yourself and pay more attention to others, you might write: I am the kind of man who listens first and talks second. Im genuinely interested in what others have to say. Now copy each of these sentences onto an index card one for each habit. Place these index cards by your bedside. Every morning when you wake up, train yourself to look at these cards first thing. Read through all of them to remind yourself of the habits and qualities youd like to develop. Finally, choose one to make your focus for that day. Keep it in mind as you go about your normal routine, and do your best to live up to the affirmation. Tyler says this habit helped him make real and lasting changes to his life. He built new habits to replace some of the tendencies that had been giving him trouble.

Who You Might Have Been Imagine you grew up with all of the resources financial, emotional, educational you could have possibly wanted or needed. Your interests were encouraged and fostered. You had help and encouragement in all that you did. You werent limited by time or money or location. In a perfect world, what do you think you would be doing now? What would you already have done? What kind of person would you be? Think big. Be as extravagant and far-fetched as youd like. Whats the one big dream you would have pursued if everything had gone your way? If you really would have wanted to become President, then say youd be President. If you would have become a movie star, say youd be a movie star. Dont hold back. Let your imagination fly free in whatever direction it desires. Dont pull any punches. Answer truthfully. Describe what this ideal life might look like. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] The Ideal Schedule In David James Duncans The River Why, Gus, the main character, decides at a young age that in an ideal world he would fish 14-1/2 hours per day. Hes still in high school when he formulates the following plan: The Ideal 24-Hour Schedule sleep: 6 hoursfood consumption: 30 min. (between casts or while plunking, if possible)school: 0 hours!bath, stool, etc.: 15 min. (unavoidable)housework and miscellaneous chores: 30 min. (yards unnecessary; dust not unhealthy; utilitarian neatness easily accomplished)nonangling conversation: 0 hrs.transportation: 45 min. (live on good fishing river)gear maintenance/fly-tying/rod-building/log-keeping, etc.: 1 hr. 30 min.fishing time: 14-1/2 hrs. per day! Then, in true money boss fashion, Gus brainstorms ways he can pursue his purpose: Ways to Actualize Ideal Schedule finish school; no college!move alone to year-round stream (preferably coastal)avoid friendships, anglers not excepted (wastes time with gabbing)experiment with caffeine, nicotine, to eliminate excess sleepdo all driving, shopping, gear preparation, research, etc. after dark, saving daylight for fishing only Result (allowing for unforeseeable interruptions): 4,000 actual fishing hrs. per year!!! I love it. (And I intend to use this example in future talks, so be prepared.) Gus knows his purpose and by brainstorming his ideal schedule, hes able to figure out ways to put this dream into action. In Wishcraft, Barbara Sher suggests a similar exercise. Heres how it works. Grab paper and pen. Seclude yourself somewhere quiet. Close your eyes. Imagine your ideal day. Imagine a day that would be perfect if it represented your usual days not a vacation day. Just a regular, average day if your schedule were ideal. Spend a few minutes visualizing what such a day would look and feel like. Once your ideal schedule begins to become clear, write down what its like in the present tense and in detail from getting up in the morning to going to sleep at night. I might say, for instance: I wake up at 5:30 already in my gym clothes. I grab a piece of fruit, hop on my bike, and ride to the gym. I do an hour of Crossfit. I ride home, grab the dog, and take her for a walk. When we get back to the house at around 8:30, I spend four hours writing about money. And so on. As you write about your ideal day, think about the following: Whats the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you have for breakfast? Do you make it yourself or does somebody bring it to you? Do you take a long, hot bath? Or do you take a cold, bracing shower? What clothes do you wear? How do you spend your morning? How do you spend your afternoon? How do you spend your evenning? At each time of the day, are you indoors or outdoors? Quiet or active? With people or alone? As you envision your ideal schedule, focus on what, where, and who. What are you doing? What kind of work? What kind of play? Dont limit yourself. If youd like to sing or sail but dont know how, in this fantasy you do know how.Where are you? What kind of place, space, and situation? Are you on a farm in rural England? In a New York office building? On a sailboat in the South Pacific? In a fully-equipped workshop? Again, youre not on vacation. Youre imagining a normal day but an ideal day. Where are you?Who are you with? Who do you work with? Who do you live with? Who do you talk with? Who do you sleep with? Maybe its the same people you work and sleep with already. Maybe its somebody else. Let your imagination go. Dont put down only what you think is possible put down the kind of day youd like to live if you had absolute freedom, unlimited means, and all the powers and skills youve ever wished for. Note: Before (or after) you complete the ideal day exercise, you might find it useful to figure out how you actually spend your time right now. For that, I suggest performing a week-long time inventory. On the advice of Paula Pant, I tracked my time last summer and it was very enlightening. It helped me see where I was frittering away my minutes and hours. For more info and instructions on doing a time inventory, visit Laura Vanderkams website where you can grab free downloadable PDF forms and spreadsheets to help track your time in fifteen-minute increments. What Color Are You? This exercise from Wishcraft is for the more right-brained artistic folks. You analytic engineer types might not like it. (On the other hand, it might be good for you to actually complete it!) Heres how it works. Choose a color that represents you. It might be your favorite color or it might not. It ought to be a color that, at this moment, feels like you. The best way to do this is to have an array of colors in front of you. If you have a box of crayons, go get it. If not, heres a page with a bunch of colors. Youre now going to role-play that color. You are going to pretend you are that color. Youre going to think like that color, speak like that color, act like that color. Take a sheet of paper. Write: I am red or I am orange or I am carnation blue. Do not say I like blue because or I think blue is. For the rest of this exercise, you are that color. Now, in a few sentences to a few paragraphs, describe what qualities you have as that color not as yourself. For instance: I am dark blue. Im quiet and deep like the ocean. Or: I am yellow. Im bright and cheerful, intelligent and warm. There are no right answers to this exercise. If youre black, be black! I think Suzanne Vegas Small Blue Thing is a great example of what you might do with this activity. [embedded content] What color am I? Im orange, of course. The 14-Word Description This exercise comes from my friend Amy Jo. Several years ago, she did a photo project in which she took portraits of people she knew. Before each session, she asked the subject: What are the fourteen words that best describe you? For our purposes, I want you to brainstorm as many words as possible to describe who you are. You should come up with a minimum of fourteen, but its better to brainstorm more. Dont ask others to describe you. Your aim here is to describe yourself. How do you see yourself? If you come up with more than fourteen words to describe yourself, narrow the list to only the fourteen that fit you best. Lastly, for each word write a short sentence that describes why you chose it. For instance, if one of your words was athletic, your descriptive sentence might be, I enjoy playing sports and being outdoors. Here are the fourteen words I chose to describe myself six years ago. (Theyre all still accurate.) Adventurous I love to try new things.Creative I love to make new things.Curious I love to learn new things.Evolving Im a different man today than I was yesterday.Independent I make and act on my own decisions.Intelligent I am smart.Playful I like to joke and jest.Positive I look on the bright side.Resourceful I search for ways to get things done.Sociable I enjoy the company of others.Tenacious I pursue my goals with vigor.Unguarded I share myself freely, and I accept the word of others.Versatile I am good at many things.Zealous Im passionate about my friends and hobbies. Heres one of the portraits from our 14-words photo shoot. I look so serious!

When I gave Amy Jo my list, she made an interesting observation. When adults do this exercise, their words are always positive, she told me. But when kids do it, they describe themselves using both positive and negative words. Its as if theyre more aware of their shortcomings or at least more willing to admit them. Three Questions about Life Planning Last of all, heres the exercise I use most often. The father of the life-planning movement, George Kinder, is a certified financial planner and the author of The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. To identify and clarify your direction in life, Kinder suggests thinking about three hypothetical situations: Imagine that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? What would you do with the money?Now imagine that you visit the doctor and she tells you that you have 5-10 years left to live. She says that you wont feel sick, but youll have no notice of the moment of your death. What would you do in the time you have left? Would you change your life? How?Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours left to live. If you only had a day remaining, what dreams would you leave unfulfilled? What would you wish you had finished? What would you wish you had done or been? What would you have missed? These questions which are based on the work of time-management guru Alan Lakein are powerful tools for figuring out what you want out of life. If you take the time to really ponder them and answer them honestly, they can help you clarify your personal values and set meaningful goals. Over the past five years, Ive shared this exercise with hundreds of people. Many who took it seriously have written to tell me it changed their lives. It changed my life too. Maybe itll change yours. Recommended Reading In this article, Ive done my best to credit sources. A couple of these exercises are my own the hundred-word exercise, for instance but most are not. Most are borrowed from books. But there are plenty of excellent books out there that can help you figure out what you want out of life even if they dont ask readers to fill out forms our meditate on whats important. Victor Frankls classic Mans Search for Meaning, for example, is a work that almost everyone refers to. Its a ground-breaking short book about how to find purpose even under the worst circumstances. But it doesnt contain any reader homework. Here then are a few of my favorite purpose-related books. You might like them too: To my mind, however, the best book on this subject is relatively new: Angela Duckworths Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. This was my favorite book of 2016. If I could make it required reading, I would. Its that good. Ive listend to the audio version nearly a dozen times (including yesterday during my 21-hour trip home from Florida). Grit is dense with information and ideas. Duckworth makes a convincing argument that passion and perseverance or, in Money Boss lingo, purpose and patience are the best predictors of success. If you can hone in on a single top-level purpose then doggedly pursue it, your life will be filled with meaning and happiness. Great stuff. I hope to publish a review of the book sometime soon. As I said at the start, your purpose is your compass. Its your mission. Its what gives your life direction and meaning. To support your purpose, however, youve got to set up a personal action plan built around a hierarchy of goals. Next week, Ill share some thoughts (and exercises) on how to set goals and structure life to pursue your purpose. How do you put your personal misson statement to use? Well talk about that in just a few days. In the meantime: Tell me about your purpose. What is it? Do you have a personal mission statement? Which of these exercises do you find effective? Are there others that are better? Shares 298 https://www.getrichslowly.org/finding-purpose/

[andrewdburton]

How to find your purpose in life: 12 powerful exercises to help you discover purpose and passion

Happy blogiversary! Twelve years ago today, I launched a humble little blog about personal finance — this blog, Get Rich Slowly. It was meant as a way for me to share the things I was learning as I dug out of debt. It turned into so much more.

For the next couple of weeks, I’m on the road in the southeastern U.S., speaking to people about personal finance and meeting with readers.

This morning, for instance, I spoke to the 76 people attending Camp FI in Spring Grove, Virginia. My topic? No surprise: The importance of having purpose in your life. As you can see, I am a PowerPoint genius…

If you’ve spent any time reading my material, you know that I believe purpose is the foundation on which all plans — financial and otherwise — ought to be built. Purpose is a compass. It helps you set big goals, sure, but it also acts as a guide when times get tough. Your mother died? Your wife left? Your husband lost his job? If you know what your primary purpose is in life, these stressful events are much easier to deal with.

For this presentation, I added a new twist. You see, a lot of folks who are interested in money tend to pick things like “getting out of debt” and “becoming financially independent” as their purpose or mission. But I think these are poor choices.

I’ve seen far too many folks make debt elimination a goal — then fall right back into debt once they’ve achieved it. And there are plenty of people who reach FI (or retire early) only to find they no longer know what to do. (It’s like aiming to reach a certain weight instead of choosing to make lasting lifestyle changes that lead to weight reduction.)

Instead, I think it’s important to recognize that your financial situation should be side effect of pursuing some greater purpose. Financial independence ought not be your aim; it’s merely a means to an end.

When I speak about purpose (which is often), I tend to fall back to the George Kinder/Alan Lakein personal mission statement exercise. I feel like it’s one of the best available tools for helping people find focus. But it’s not the only tool.

Today, to celebrate this site’s twelfth birthday, I want to present twelve alternative exercises for discovering your purpose and passion. If you’ve tried one (or more) of these without success, try another. One of them is sure to be useful for you.

Note: I’ve done my best to credit sources for these exercises. (Many come from Barbara Sher’s excellent book Wishcraft, which is all about crafting the life you really want.) At the end of this article, I’ll give you a list of recommended reading — and tell you what I think is the single best book for discovering passion and purpose.

Your One-Hundred Word Philosophy

The first exercise is one I created myself. It’s based on CrossFit’s “world-class fitness in 100 words” statement. There’s no time limit for this exercise, but it could take a while so be prepared.

Your aim is to write out your life philosophy in exactly one hundred words — no more and no less. This can take any form you want, from a statement of values to a list of instructions. Begin by writing down your core beliefs and values. It might also be helpful to think about books that have had a big impact on your life or powerful advice you’ve received in the past. Based on your experience and beliefs, what is your life philosophy?

As an example, here’s my own hundred-word philosophy, which I’ve written as instructions to myself:

Some of those admonitions are my own invention. Some come from books like The Four Agreements and The Power of Now. “Refuse to let fear guide your decision-making process,” was advice from my girlfriend. “Create your own luck” is based on my friend Michelle’s advice to “create your own certainty”.

Again: Target one hundred words exactly. It’ll force you to spend time thinking and editing and being introspective.

As you can see, I paid an artist friend to create a pretty letterpress poster of my 100-word philosophy, which I’ve hung on the wall here at home. I look at it every day. Obviously, you don’t have to go that far.

Your Original Self

This next exercise, which comes from Barbara Sher’s Wishcraft, sounds hokey at first. Turns out, however, that it’s a lot of fun to complete. Here’s how it works.

Set aside about half an hour for quiet contemplation. (There’s no writing involved in this exercise — only thinking.) Let your mind wander back to your childhood. Remember what you used to do to have fun — especially those times you especially treasured. When you were allowed to daydream or do whatever you wanted, what did you choose to do?

Try to answer these questions:

What sorts of things attracted and fascinated you when you were a kid?

What sense — smell, sight, hearing, taste, touch — did you live through most? Or did you enjoy them all equally? What kinds of sensory experiences do you remember best?

What did you love to do (or daydream about), no matter how silly or unimportant it might seem now? Did you have secret aspirations and fantasies that you never told anyone about?

After thirty minutes of unstructured reverie, ask yourself a couple of questions. First, do you feel like there’s a part of you that still loves the things you loved as a child? What do you miss most? Next, ask yourself what talents or abilities these childhood dreams and passions might point to in the present. What can you do today to reconnect with some of who you were as a kid?

As I mentioned, I enjoyed this exercise. Although you don’t have to, I wrote down what I liked as a kid:

When I was a kid, I loved the outdoors. I loved to run and play outside. We lived in a small trailer house but were surrounded by acres and acres of land. We had freedom to romp across the fields, explore the nearby woods and orchards, and to browse the banks of the creeks. My favorite family vacations were those that involved camping. (Unfortunately, there weren’t many.)

I loved looking at the insects and the plants. I liked digging in the dirt. I liked finding bones and rocks and shards of glass. I enjoyed playing games outside — tag, dirt clod fights, whatever. I especially liked building forts. I liked going down to the “big tree” and hanging out under its branches.

Yes, there’s still a part of me that loves this sort of thing. I think that’s one of the reasons I’ve come to treasure the morning walks with the dog. It’s an opportunity for me to explore the same stretch of ground over and over and over again. I truly enjoy watching how the woods and fields change a little every day. And that’s probably one of the big reasons I enjoyed the RV trip. It forced me to connect to the world outside in a big way.

What talents and abilities might this interest point to? I’m not sure really.

Who Do You Think You Are?

This activity is short but effective.

On a blank piece of paper, spend 5-10 minutes answering the question: Who do you think you are? How would you describe yourself to a total stranger? Be objective. What are most important characteristics that define your identity? There aren’t any right or wrong answers here, and there’s only one rule: Don’t overthink this. Put down the first and surest answers that come into your head, the ones that make you say, “This is me.”

[This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.]

Focus on Five

We’ll explore the next exercise in greater depth next week when I write about goals. You’ll find a version of this in nearly every book on productivity or positive psychology. This version is taken from Angela Duckworth’s Grit (which in turn borrowed it from billionaire Warren Buffett, who may have taken it from Alan Lakein).

Here’s how it works:

Write down a list of your top twenty-five goals (or more). This might seem impossible at first, but give it a try. List all of the projects you’re currently working on, both at home and at work. List all of the things you want to do but feel like there’s no time. List at least twenty-five. More is beter.

Next, review your list. Which goals are most appealing? Do some soul-searching — it doesn’t matter how — and narrow the list to the five highest-priority objectives. Just five. Circle them (or copy them to another piece of paper).

Lastly, look at the goals you didn’t circle. “These you avoid at all costs,” writes Duckworth. “They’re what distract you; they eat away time and energy, taking your eyes from the goals that matter more.” Harsh but true.

If you need help prioritizing your goals — it can be tough to sort through so many! — rate each one on a scale of 1 to 10 based both on how interesting it is and how important it is. Then multiply those numbers together. For instance, if one of your goals has an interest rating of 9 (very interesting) and an importance rating of 3 (not that important), its score would be 27. Compare the scores. Higher is better.

Duckworth says that she would add a fourth step to Buffett’s exercise. Ask yourself: “To what extent do these goals serve a common purpose?” The more closely aligned your top five goals are, the better you’ll be able to focus on your passion (or purpose).

When I write about goals next week, I’ll ask you to do a different version of this exercise drawn from Sonja Lyubomirsky’s The How of Happiness.

A Letter to the Future

Here’s another exercise that’s common in self-help manuals. You’re going to contemplate and describe the personal legacy you’d like to leave in this world.

Think about how you want to be remembered by your grandchildren or great-grandchildren. (If you’re childless like me, you’ll have to pretend.) In the form of a first-person letter, write a summary of your life, values, and accomplishments as you’d like them known to your descendants. Pretend like you’re near the end of your life and want to share the “greatest hits” version of your personal story for posterity.

One common way to approach this is to pretend you’re writing your own obituary. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey offers the following variation:

In your mind’s eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there.

As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life.

As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended — children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization where you’ve been involved in service.

Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate?

What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?

Make no mistake: This can be a powerful exercise. Tear-inducing, even. That’s okay. By thinking about how you’d like people to remember you in the future, after you’re gone, you can take steps to align your present self and actions with that ideal vision.

20 Things You Like to Do

Here’s another exercise from Barbara Sher’s Wishcraft. She says she borrowed it from Sid Simon’s Values Clarification.

To begin, list twenty things you like to do. You must come up with twenty. That’s the only rule. Don’t cop out and make a list of four things you like to do. Or twelve. List at least twenty. (You can write down more, if you like.)

Now you’re going to make a chart.

Take a fresh piece of paper. Down the left side of the page, in the first column of the chart, copy your list of twenty things you like to do. (The order is completely unimportant.)

Now, across the top of the page create 8-10 columns. Label them like this (you might have to write tiny): How long since you last did this activity? Free or costs money? Alone or with somebody? Planned or spontaneous? Job related? Physical risk? Fast-paced or slow-paced? Mind, body, or spiritual?

Feel free to add other categories that occur to you. (At home or in the world? Spouse likes also? Enjoyed a decade ago? Whatever. It’s your list.) Now go through your chart and fill it out for each of your interests.

What patterns emerge? What do these patterns tell you about your self and life?

To illustrate what this chart ought to look like, I did the exercise myself. It was enlightening. And it took me longer to complete than I expected. I could come up with sixteen things I like to do, but expanding the list to twenty was tough. Here’s a screenshot of my list. (Because I’m a nerd, I used a spreadsheet instead of a piece of paper.)

Kind of sad (and hilarious) to note that this list is in the order I thought of things. So, that means “computer games” came to mind as something that I like to do before “sex” did. Yikes!

Looking at my list, it seems like I do a pretty good job of doing the things I like to do. Not perfect but good. There’s also a good balance of free activities vs. activities that cost money, and an even divide between social and alone time. But it’s clear that most of the things I like to do are spontaneous, not work-related, mental, and — most of all — slow. The only activity on my list that’s truly adrenaline-inducing is riding my motorcycle.

Who Do You Want to Be?

This exercise is based on a conversation I had with my friend Tyler Tervooren.

On a blank piece of paper, make a list of qualities and habits you’d like to develop. Do you want to ride your bicycle every morning? Do you want to be more patient with your children? Do you want to be more helpful to your co-workers? Do you want to read the Bible every day? Do you want to drink less alcohol?

It doesn’t matter what order you write these in. Take as long as you need to make your list.

When you’ve finished, reframe each item using the following format: “I am the kind of man who [blank]” where [blank] is the habit or quality you’re trying to develop. (And obviously, if you’re a woman please reframe each of these as “I am the sort of woman who [blank].”)

For example, if you wrote down that you’d like to get in the habit of waking 10,000 steps every day, you might reframe that as: “I am the kind of woman who walks 10,000 steps every day.” Or, better: “I am the kind of woman who walks everywhere she can.”

If one of your aims is to talk less about yourself and pay more attention to others, you might write: “I am the kind of man who listens first and talks second. I’m genuinely interested in what others have to say.”

Now copy each of these sentences onto an index card — one for each habit. Place these index cards by your bedside. Every morning when you wake up, train yourself to look at these cards first thing. Read through all of them to remind yourself of the habits and qualities you’d like to develop. Finally, choose one to make your focus for that day. Keep it in mind as you go about your normal routine, and do your best to live up to the affirmation.

Tyler says this habit helped him make real and lasting changes to his life. He built new habits to replace some of the tendencies that had been giving him trouble.

Who You Might Have Been

Imagine you grew up with all of the resources — financial, emotional, educational — you could have possibly wanted or needed. Your interests were encouraged and fostered. You had help and encouragement in all that you did. You weren’t limited by time or money or location. In a perfect world, what do you think you would be doing now? What would you already have done? What kind of person would you be?

Think big. Be as extravagant and far-fetched as you’d like. What’s the one big dream you would have pursued if everything had gone your way? If you really would have wanted to become President, then say you’d be President. If you would have become a movie star, say you’d be a movie star. Don’t hold back. Let your imagination fly free in whatever direction it desires.

Don’t pull any punches. Answer truthfully. Describe what this ideal life might look like.

[This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.]

The Ideal Schedule

In David James Duncan’s The River Why, Gus, the main character, decides at a young age that in an ideal world he would fish 14-1/2 hours per day. He’s still in high school when he formulates the following plan:

The Ideal 24-Hour Schedule

sleep: 6 hours

food consumption: 30 min. (between casts or while plunking, if possible)

school: 0 hours!

bath, stool, etc.: 15 min. (unavoidable)

housework and miscellaneous chores: 30 min. (yards unnecessary; dust not unhealthy; utilitarian neatness easily accomplished)

nonangling conversation: 0 hrs.

transportation: 45 min. (live on good fishing river)

gear maintenance/fly-tying/rod-building/log-keeping, etc.: 1 hr. 30 min.

fishing time: 14-1/2 hrs. per day!

Then, in true money boss fashion, Gus brainstorms ways he can pursue his purpose:

Ways to Actualize Ideal Schedule

finish school; no college!

move alone to year-round stream (preferably coastal)

avoid friendships, anglers not excepted (wastes time with gabbing)

experiment with caffeine, nicotine, to eliminate excess sleep

do all driving, shopping, gear preparation, research, etc. after dark, saving daylight for fishing only

Result (allowing for unforeseeable interruptions): 4,000 actual fishing hrs. per year!!!

I love it. (And I intend to use this example in future talks, so be prepared.) Gus knows his purpose and by brainstorming his ideal schedule, he’s able to figure out ways to put this dream into action.

In Wishcraft, Barbara Sher suggests a similar exercise. Here’s how it works.

Grab paper and pen. Seclude yourself somewhere quiet. Close your eyes. Imagine your ideal day. Imagine a day that would be perfect if it represented your usual days — not a vacation day. Just a regular, average day if your schedule were ideal. Spend a few minutes visualizing what such a day would look and feel like.

Once your ideal schedule begins to become clear, write down what it’s like in the present tense and in detail — from getting up in the morning to going to sleep at night.

I might say, for instance: “I wake up at 5:30 already in my gym clothes. I grab a piece of fruit, hop on my bike, and ride to the gym. I do an hour of Crossfit. I ride home, grab the dog, and take her for a walk. When we get back to the house at around 8:30, I spend four hours writing about money.” And so on.

As you write about your ideal day, think about the following: What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you have for breakfast? Do you make it yourself or does somebody bring it to you? Do you take a long, hot bath? Or do you take a cold, bracing shower? What clothes do you wear? How do you spend your morning? How do you spend your afternoon? How do you spend your evenning? At each time of the day, are you indoors or outdoors? Quiet or active? With people or alone?

As you envision your ideal schedule, focus on what, where, and who.

What are you doing? What kind of work? What kind of play? Don’t limit yourself. If you’d like to sing or sail but don’t know how, in this fantasy you do know how.

Where are you? What kind of place, space, and situation? Are you on a farm in rural England? In a New York office building? On a sailboat in the South Pacific? In a fully-equipped workshop? Again, you’re not on vacation. You’re imagining a normal day — but an ideal day. Where are you?

Who are you with? Who do you work with? Who do you live with? Who do you talk with? Who do you sleep with? Maybe it’s the same people you work and sleep with already. Maybe it’s somebody else.

Let your imagination go. Don’t put down only what you think is possible — put down the kind of day you’d like to live if you had absolute freedom, unlimited means, and all the powers and skills you’ve ever wished for.

Note: Before (or after) you complete the “ideal day” exercise, you might find it useful to figure out how you actually spend your time right now. For that, I suggest performing a week-long time inventory. On the advice of Paula Pant, I tracked my time last summer and it was very enlightening. It helped me see where I was frittering away my minutes and hours. For more info and instructions on doing a time inventory, visit Laura Vanderkam’s website where you can grab free downloadable PDF forms and spreadsheets to help track your time in fifteen-minute increments.

What Color Are You?

This exercise from Wishcraft is for the more right-brained artistic folks. You analytic engineer types might not like it. (On the other hand, it might be good for you to actually complete it!) Here’s how it works.

Choose a color that represents you. It might be your favorite color or it might not. It ought to be a color that, at this moment, feels like you. The best way to do this is to have an array of colors in front of you. If you have a box of crayons, go get it. If not, here’s a page with a bunch of colors.

You’re now going to role-play that color. You are going to pretend you are that color. You’re going to think like that color, speak like that color, act like that color.

Take a sheet of paper. Write: “I am red” or “I am orange” or “I am carnation blue”. Do not say “I like blue because…” or “I think blue is…”. For the rest of this exercise, you are that color.

Now, in a few sentences to a few paragraphs, describe what qualities you have as that color — not as yourself. For instance: “I am dark blue. I’m quiet and deep like the ocean.” Or: “I am yellow. I’m bright and cheerful, intelligent and warm.

There are no right answers to this exercise. If you’re black, be black! I think Suzanne Vega’s “Small Blue Thing” is a great example of what you might do with this activity.

What color am I? I’m orange, of course.

The 14-Word Description

This exercise comes from my friend Amy Jo. Several years ago, she did a photo project in which she took portraits of people she knew. Before each session, she asked the subject: What are the fourteen words that best describe you?

For our purposes, I want you to brainstorm as many words as possible to describe who you are. You should come up with a minimum of fourteen, but it’s better to brainstorm more. Don’t ask others to describe you. Your aim here is to describe yourself. How do you see yourself?

If you come up with more than fourteen words to describe yourself, narrow the list to only the fourteen that fit you best.

Lastly, for each word write a short sentence that describes why you chose it. For instance, if one of your words was athletic, your descriptive sentence might be, “I enjoy playing sports and being outdoors.”

Here are the fourteen words I chose to describe myself six years ago. (They’re all still accurate.)

Adventurous – I love to try new things.

Creative – I love to make new things.

Curious – I love to learn new things.

Evolving – I’m a different man today than I was yesterday.

Independent – I make and act on my own decisions.

Intelligent – I am smart.

Playful – I like to joke and jest.

Positive – I look on the bright side.

Resourceful – I search for ways to get things done.

Sociable – I enjoy the company of others.

Tenacious – I pursue my goals with vigor.

Unguarded – I share myself freely, and I accept the word of others.

Versatile – I am good at many things.

Zealous – I’m passionate about my friends and hobbies.

Here’s one of the portraits from our 14-words photo shoot. I look so serious!

When I gave Amy Jo my list, she made an interesting observation. “When adults do this exercise, their words are always positive,” she told me. “But when kids do it, they describe themselves using both positive and negative words. It’s as if they’re more aware of their shortcomings — or at least more willing to admit them.”

Three Questions about Life Planning

Last of all, here’s the exercise I use most often. The father of the life-planning movement, George Kinder, is a certified financial planner and the author of The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. To identify and clarify your direction in life, Kinder suggests thinking about three hypothetical situations:

Imagine that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? What would you do with the money?

Now imagine that you visit the doctor and she tells you that you have 5-10 years left to live. She says that you won’t feel sick, but you’ll have no notice of the moment of your death. What would you do in the time you have left? Would you change your life? How?

Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours left to live. If you only had a day remaining, what dreams would you leave unfulfilled? What would you wish you had finished? What would you wish you had done or been? What would you have missed?

These questions — which are based on the work of time-management guru Alan Lakein — are powerful tools for figuring out what you want out of life. If you take the time to really ponder them and answer them honestly, they can help you clarify your personal values and set meaningful goals.

Over the past five years, I’ve shared this exercise with hundreds of people. Many who took it seriously have written to tell me it changed their lives. It changed my life too. Maybe it’ll change yours.

Recommended Reading

In this article, I’ve done my best to credit sources. A couple of these exercises are my own — the hundred-word exercise, for instance — but most are not. Most are borrowed from books. But there are plenty of excellent books out there that can help you figure out what you want out of life even if they don’t ask readers to fill out forms our meditate on what’s important.

Victor Frankl’s classic Man’s Search for Meaning, for example, is a work that almost everyone refers to. It’s a ground-breaking short book about how to find purpose even under the worst circumstances. But it doesn’t contain any reader homework.

Here then are a few of my favorite purpose-related books. You might like them too:

Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl

The Seven Habits of Highly-Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

Wishcraft by Barbara Sher

The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubormirsky

How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life by Alan Lakein

Essentialism by Greg McKeown

To my mind, however, the best book on this subject is relatively new: Angela Duckworth’s Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. This was my favorite book of 2016. If I could make it required reading, I would. It’s that good. I’ve listend to the audio version nearly a dozen times (including yesterday during my 21-hour trip home from Florida).

Grit is dense with information and ideas. Duckworth makes a convincing argument that passion and perseverance — or, in Money Boss lingo, purpose and patience — are the best predictors of success. If you can hone in on a single top-level purpose then doggedly pursue it, your life will be filled with meaning and happiness. Great stuff. I hope to publish a review of the book sometime soon.

As I said at the start, your purpose is your compass. Its your mission. It’s what gives your life direction and meaning. To support your purpose, however, you’ve got to set up a personal action plan built around a hierarchy of goals.

Next week, I’ll share some thoughts (and exercises) on how to set goals and structure life to pursue your purpose. How do you put your personal misson statement to use? We’ll talk about that in just a few days.

In the meantime: Tell me about your purpose. What is it? Do you have a personal mission statement? Which of these exercises do you find effective? Are there others that are better?

The post How to find your purpose in life: 12 powerful exercises to help you discover purpose and passion appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

from Finance https://www.getrichslowly.org/finding-purpose/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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Whats a Good Car to Customise at 17? but cheap insurance on?

"Whats a Good Car to Customise at 17? but cheap insurance on?

for when im 17, im looking at a car im able to customize, i dont want a high cc car, only a low one because of insurance costs... i want to get a car thats like a bmw m3, or misubishi evo style.... as in like sports, 2 doors etc... but i need the insurance to be low... and can i have some estimates for upgrades? like bodykit prices, exhaust systems... etc...

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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How much do most people pay per month for life insurance?

APPROX how much would car insurance cost for me?

hello, up until this point i have been on my parents insurance. I am going off on my own now and would like a rough estimate on how much per month my specs :) 23 year old female college grad never had any traffic tickets (had an underage drinking ticket in 2007... if that matters now?) car is a 2002, 4 door compact nothing fancy""

Are you in favor of getting rid of health insurance for people with pre-existing conditions?

Are you in favor of getting rid of health insurance for people with pre-existing conditions?

Whats a Good Car to Customise at 17? but cheap insurance on?

for when im 17, im looking at a car im able to customize, i dont want a high cc car, only a low one because of insurance costs... i want to get a car thats like a bmw m3, or misubishi evo style.... as in like sports, 2 doors etc... but i need the insurance to be low... and can i have some estimates for upgrades? like bodykit prices, exhaust systems... etc...

Whats a cheap car insurance In nj?

For a person with a new lisence thats 18 years old

Will My Insurance go up?

The other driver reported the accident on his insurance company but we decided that we'll settle the damages outside the insurance company to prevent my rates from going up. The other insurance company is contacting me now. Does it mean that my insurance company knows about the accident and will raise my insurance rates even if we dont settle this insurance to insurance?

As a young adult where did you buy your auto insurance and how much did you pay a month?

well i am 19 i am looking for a auto insurance company. i have a 2003 4runner. so what insurance company did you get at my age. and which would you recommend to me? preferably an insurance that is cheap my father paid like 130 per month for this car under his insurance (but he is old lol)

Auto Insurance Coverage - How much coverage should I buy?

Next week, I'll be switching to another auto insurance. My previous limits with another company were: -minimum MD state 20/40/15 for Bodily Injury, Uninsured Motorist, and property damage -PIP $2500 -250/500 for Comprehensive/Collision, had road service, towing, and rental. I don't have many assets. I'm a renter and I live from paycheck to paycheck. I have no accidents, no tickets, and no violations for the last 8 years. I'm a cautious driver. I drive a 2003 Honda Civic. The new insurance company is offering me $759/year for the limits 100/300/100 Bodily Injury Liability and matching for Uninsured Motorist + Property Damage, 250/500 for Comp/Coll, road service, towing, and rentals, PIP 2500. I've seen different answers that say 100/300/100 would be better for those who own a house and have a better income. What do you think is a recommended coverage going?""

Lower insurance for young driver?

so i know when you are under your parents it isn't as high i know people paying 50 dollars a month or something like that my situation though i just turned 21 im in need of a car but im the only driver in my family (single mom never got her license) i know that one-way coverage is about 300 something a month but if i finance a car i need full coverage which the price is crazy expensive something like 800-1100 a month is there anyway i can get lower insurance rate or something of the sort ?

Why does it make car insurance a lot cheaper when i add a younger girl than me as a named driver?

i got told to add someone younger than me on my car insurance to make it affordable, she's 17 and I am but she's younger than me, she has a provisional liscence. Is this illegal?""

How can i drive a car from florida to ny with temporary plates?

i want to buy a car in the state of florida. iam a ny resident with ny license and was wondering if i buy a car in florida how can i get tags and all that to drive to ny. i dont have insurance as of now

Is there a grace period where you don't need insurance after you get your drivers license?

I'm getting my license tomorrow (as long as i pass the test) but I'm not sure when we have time to go to the insurance office to get my name added. The vehicle is insured. Is ...show more

How would obamacare affect our family?

We are a middle class family, smack dab in the middle... Hubby's job provides health insurance, but for a family of 3, which we are, it would cost $200 a week for coverage, with high deductible, so! Since hubby is in exceptional health and hasnt had any medical problems (knock on wood!) he continues without health insurance; I remain on my parents plan as I'm 25 (aka under 26yrs old), and we pay for child health plus for my daughter, for a small fee a month, which depends on our income We simply couldn't afford to pay $800 a month for family coverage, so doing it this way saves us, like $600+! So since we don't make enough to pay for hubbys $800 family plan through work, is obamacare basically going to force hubby to get health insurance through his work, even though it's complete garbage? Or will his employer have more affordable family plan that we could afford? Just trying to understand it all better! Thanks in advance! :-)""

Do I need to have insurance to drive a car across country?

The car is registered in California under a family member's name. I'm 18 living in Pennsylvania. I want to be able to drive this car from California to Pennsylvania. So do I need to register for insurance before i start driving the vehicle across country?

How much is home owners insurance in Scottsdale AZ?

How much is home owners insurance in Scottsdale AZ?

What makes car insurance car insurance?

I always wondered. Not to brag or anything, but my family is so rich that we really don't need car insurance. If something were to happen we would be able to take care of it. So basically we waste hundreds of dollars each year on car insurance. Is there a way we could have our own insurance card to issue to a police? What makes car insurance companies able to function and not me?""

""My family has health insurance but, no dental where can we go to get low cost dental insurance?""

My family has health insurance but, no dental where can we go to get low cost dental insurance?""

""What company do you recommend for renters' insurance and why? Not state farm, they are pricks. Testimonials?

I need some affordable renters insurance. I live in MO and REFUSE to give those pricks at State Farm another dime. Who do y'all like for price and custoer service???

Car accident without insurance?

So today I rear ended a 2011 Honda Civ, a small strach [sp], some paint missing and a possible dent. My car on the other hand suffered some significant damage. Now as we were preparing to exchange info, I find out my car doesn't have insurance (its my parents and I wasn't informed) and I told her I will pay for damages and apologized, etc. Now I asked how much would it cost, etc. Her insurance company told her I would have to pay $20+ per day for her rental car how ever many days its in the shop. That I can handle. But say worse case scenarios: How much would it cost to replace a back bumper for a 2011 honda civ? Or to fix a dent, color, paint, etc? Has this happened to anyone else without insurance, etc?""

How much would it cost to insure a new Mazda3?

I want to buy a new ('08 or '09) Mazda 3. It would go on my parents insurance, and they both have a clean record. How much would it cost to insure? I live in Nassau County, NY (Long Island).""

Will filing a claim raise both insurance rates?

I just got in a car accident and my car is pretty messed up in the front. However, the truck's rear bumper only has a few scratches on it and it was my fault. If he decides to file a claim, will his insurance rates go up also?""

Do you need to have car insurance of your own to rent a car?

I don't have a car right now so I don't have insurance, will I need to get insurance to rent a car? In Canada""

How can i drive a car from florida to ny with temporary plates?

i want to buy a car in the state of florida. iam a ny resident with ny license and was wondering if i buy a car in florida how can i get tags and all that to drive to ny. i dont have insurance as of now

Will car insurance go up if I get a speeding ticket?

Will my car insurance rate go up if I got a speeding ticket? Im in California. This is the first one ever, and I've been driving for about 4 years now. Anyone with an answer? Thanks in advance!""

Affordable car insurance for poor driving record?

About a year ago when I was in college I got cited for driving without insurance twice. Two years ago I have had my license suspended for minor traffic offenses. Recently, I decided to take a safe driver's course because when I originally started driving nobody ever taught me how. I am not required to have sr-22 insurance but I am wondering if that would be better than paying $450 which I am paying for Gieco. I am looking for someone in a SIMILAR situation or has USEFUL answers. If your answer is move to different state , you just have to deal with it , or shop around that doesn't help me.""

Why is the insurance company bothering me?

Two months ago I was sitting a red light and was hit from behind . Now the driver's ins. company wants me to reimburse them. Why? What should I do? I'm trying not to think the worst, but when I got out the car she was on the phone and said her husband is a police officer and was sending his friend to the scene. This makes me wonder if some untruth is involved here.""

Motorcycle Insurance?

I'm 20 years old and just passed my written test and now I'm going to buy a motorcycle that I can train on to my skills test. How much can the insurance cost more or less???

NC Divers License and insurance?

My boyfriend is looking to get his license for the first time and we have a question about insurance. As far as I know, in the state of NC you cannot get your license w/o having car insurance. How can you get your license w/o having a car to issue insurance on? In other words, if he doesn't have a vehicle, why do they require you to have insurance before obtaining your license?""

Home-owner's Insurance Question?

Okay, maybe a stupid question, but I need help here to settle an argument. I say that home owner's insurance does NOT cover an air conditioner if it breaks, unless it is tied to a disaster event i.e. lightening strike, fire, etc.. Husband says that you can have it in your policy that insurance company will pay to repair or replace the air conditioner if it just breaks down, as long as it is within the manufacturer's expiration date.""

Whats a Good Car to Customise at 17? but cheap insurance on?

for when im 17, im looking at a car im able to customize, i dont want a high cc car, only a low one because of insurance costs... i want to get a car thats like a bmw m3, or misubishi evo style.... as in like sports, 2 doors etc... but i need the insurance to be low... and can i have some estimates for upgrades? like bodykit prices, exhaust systems... etc...

Im 6 weeks pregnant with no health insurance in california?

Im 6 weeks pregnant, i got my proof of preganancy at a free clinic, i applied for medical.. how long till i know im approved? I work part time, i dont make enough money at all... maybe 400 before taxes. i pay 400 rent, i split rent with my bf that i live with. he has a good job. would that effect my media-cal application? are they going to want my roomates info? and with him being my bf does that make a difference? we are not married so will they still use that?""

Insurance costs between 1.0 and 1.4?

i just got my driving licence and im trying to buy used car.. im looking at insurance prices and was wondering how much difference i would have between 1.4 engine and 1.0. im in my mid 20's and was wondering if u could get a car with bigger engine then 1.0 and still pay reasonable price im looking for only few years old small car.. nothing flashy.

""For 17 Year Old Males, What's The Cheapest Car To Own For Insurance?""

Im Turning 17 Soon and Was Thinking of Getting a Car, I Just thinking of getting a car with a lowest insurance cost, I Cannot Find Anything on The Internet As Go Compare and Money Supermarket keep Changing there Results Everytime i Refresh, any help ?""

Cheap Auto Insurance in FL?

I'm 19 years old and I got my license in Sept of 06 (almost a year) My insurance is REALLY HIGH! By myself I am looking at around 700 a month (my car is Fianced, 04 Mitsu lancer ES) so I am put under my 22 year old boyfriend insurance. With his 02 Audi A6 and my car, we are paying 495 a month. (South Florida) (Esurance is who we have) We have called Geico and Progressive adn State Farm and nothing is giving us a smaller quote. Does anyone know a good insurance company that is cheaper with students, new drivers, etc..? We also do not live in the same household, and some insurance agencys will not cover us for nothing living together. But anyways, just let me know if you know of a cheaper insurance agency. Thanks.""

""How much will insurance be on a bmw 5 series 3 litre 17 year old, SECOND DRIVER!?""

im looking on how much it would be for my father to make me his second driver so I could also drive his car, it is a bmw 5 series 3 litre, im 17 year olds I have only just passed my test, please no stupid remarks/commentx""

How much is motorcycle insurance for a 20 year old male with a clean driving record on a 2007 Harley Davidson 883?

I live in Chicago, have been driving a car for 3 years with a clean record. looking at a bike but I probably will not ride it until next season. (The deal is to good to pass up and i ...show more""

Car insurance for 16 yr old with mustang?

im 16 and just got a 05 mustang, and now im trying to find a cheap insurance company. I want to spend less than $275 a month, does anyone know one?""

Does my first speeding ticket increase my auto insurance rate?

I just got my first speeding ticket, and I'm really worried about the insurance rate ! The ticket says 60 on 30 limited area, so yeah 30mph over the limit ! also they were not using any detector as on the ticket says, can I go to the court say they made a mistake?! lol I'm living in MA FYI.""

Car Insurance Issue's? HELPPP!?

I lost my job so I couldn't pay my car insurance for about 3 months. Then it got expired my license also got suspended because of no car insurance:/. But right now I'm back on my feet and I want to get my license reinstated and get car insurance again. I want to know how can I do that? And do I have to pay the amount I owed back to my other car insurance company or can I go to another and not pay them back? PLEASE HELP ME!

What is best landlord insurance policy or company?

what is best landlord insurance policy or company?

Low car insurance rate??

hello i'm an 18 year old guy i passed my DMV tests and should be getting my license in the mail anytime I LIVE IN TEXAS. I have a 1999 Ford f-150 Black Truck and since i'll be hitting the mean streets soon, i need insurance of course. i AM trying to find a much cheaper one, if you'll say but keeps me legal but for less. Oh and I am a senior in high school so yes I'll be having an after school job so I guess you can say I don't make much..... please help""

When you car is totaled and you have full insurance coverage...?

What does your insurance company do with the wrecked car? do they take it and put it in a junkyard or do they let you keep whats left of it, or what?""

Is it legal to do this with car insurance?

I know of people who do this for the sake of saving money, but I am not sure if it is legal or not? Say Person A has horrible insurance rates to the point of where driving is impossible to afford. Now let's say Person A sells their car to their significant other, Person B for a small price and transfers the title into Person B's name, so now this car on Person B's active insurance policy. Person B's rates will go up a bit based on their cost to insure, however Person A will still be driving this vehicle on a regular basis, and simply pay Person B the additional, much cheaper premium. Is this legal? If not, how would anyone ever know the difference? Now the new""

How much is Accutane with insurance?

I hear that accutane is uber expensive without insurance. I just want to know how much it is with insurance. Thanks

If I do not have car insurance...?

and i live with with my grandparents and they have car insurance but i dont, and i have my liscence, can i still drive their car with it not being illegal in the state of Massachusetts? Because i cant afford the insurance and if their car is insured i am told an officer cannot do anything about it, as long as the cars insured im fine, is this true? Thanks!""

My AAA card says it's expired but my parents are still paying monthly for my car insurance?

My AAA card says: Valid through September 23, 2010. They bought me a new car in July and we are still paying the monthly insurance so why is my card expired? Shouldn't they have sent me a new one?""

AAA auto Insurance policy ?

I'm currently having auto insurance with AAA and my bro is going to get his car soon. If I can get both of our cars insured under 1 plan, would that be cheaper ? thanks""

How much to lease a car (WITH insurance)?

How much is it to lease an economic car (in Canada please), with insurance calculated into the mix? I am willing to pay 4-500 altogether, is this enough? Practical examples from people who lease their car, with how much they pay, etc, would be most helpful. (I am a recent graduate at the verge of starting an entry-level position). I am looking into VW golf and honda civic (hatchback).""

Car insurance on a third gen camaro?

No idea who im going to for insurance but im19 and have 1speeding ticket on record ive never had insurance and my licensce was suspended for that ticket im trying to get my 1985 camaro on the road but testing the waters first and is there any way to reduce the cost of car insurance

Car insurance companies that allow you to drive other cars?

If i am over 25 and fully comp on my vehicle I can drive other vehicles that have fully comprehensive car insurance which insurance policy let you do this?

I need help getting coverage for an infected wisdom tooth. Does anyone know of an affordable dental insurance?

I have a wisdom tooth that is close to a facial nerve so I have to have a specialist pull it. Does anyone know of a dentist insurance plan that is affordable that doesn't have a wait list and that covers oral surgery? Or does anyone know of a dental office that will take payments? I have called around everywhere and seem to keep hitting dead ends

How much money would it cost to get car insurance im 18?

my grandmother is wanting to add me onto her insurance and let me drive her car, how much is it going to cost she has nationwide and the car is a 2001 honda accord lx sedan 4 cylinder i also never had a permit and im just going to get my license after i get my insurance, im white and a guy. Thanks for the help its much appreciated.""

Thinking about buying a house... Homeowners insurance?

How does homeowner's insurance work? Is it part of your monthly mortgage or is it something you pay separately?

Car insurance ( diabetes )?

after i get a quote online when i proceed to pay will the insurers phone me or will i after phone them as i have a 3 year medical licence and i need to let them know off my medical condition ( diabetes insulin dependant ) first time getting insurance so any info would be great

Job offer buyout insurance?

I just got a job offer for 40,000 with 75% benefits paid. Ill be living at home with my parents and im covered under their health insurance until im 26. Can I ask them to not pay for insurance and give me a higher salary instead? Has anyone heard of this happening? Thanks""

Whats a Good Car to Customise at 17? but cheap insurance on?

for when im 17, im looking at a car im able to customize, i dont want a high cc car, only a low one because of insurance costs... i want to get a car thats like a bmw m3, or misubishi evo style.... as in like sports, 2 doors etc... but i need the insurance to be low... and can i have some estimates for upgrades? like bodykit prices, exhaust systems... etc...

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/first-traffic-violation-how-much-affect-my-insurance-preisentanz"

[navigatingpatterns]

Withdrawal #3

Okay so, more back story. It eventually came time for her to move back home and it crossed my mind as to whether I should ask her to stay here and find a job here, so we could be together. As much as I loved the idea of that, I didn't know if it was the right thing to do. I wasn't sure if our relationship was strong enough for us to move in together yet and I knew her mom helped her get a gig back home, so the last thing I wanted to do at that time was to ask her to risk it all for me, especially considering the stress our relationship was already under. It wasn't that I didn't love her as much as I should. I just had my reservations. So when it came time for her to move back home, I let her. BIG MISTAKE. She moved away and as I am with people a great distance from me, I was terrible about keeping up with her. I was super depressed at the time, moving again and I just totally blocked her out. She was really upset about that, obviously. We still spoke frequently via text but I very rarely called her and when she complained about it, my response was that all of it was just too much pressure and that maybe we should chill. So she choked it up. She was super patient about it and didn't wanna bother me, even though she was breaking down inside because of the intense amount of change she was experiencing in her life. While she was back home, she was still in a new area of town and learning her way around. She started a new job and had to work insane hours everyday and she had projects to work on that weren't very stimulating, artistically, which was a huge bummer to the left side of her brain and even though she had a salary coming her way, it was still very little considering the amount of hours she was at the office and the size of bills she had coming her way. All she needed though was more of me to help her get through it all though. And I failed her. I was so wrapped up in my own world that I blocked her out of my brain and kept my head down and just tried to keep grinding. Months went by like this. Less and less interaction, missed calls and eventually even texts but all the while, in the back of my head I had a plan. I eventually I got a raise at work and that helped keep me more easily afloat so I was able to quit my second job but it also meant I had to put in more time at the shop so we could save on payroll way with our employees that weren't on salary. This meant that although I could make ends meet financially, I wouldn't have time to leave town and see her on the weekends. I had to be here. But my hope was that if I held on to this for long enough I could put some money away and escape back home to open my own shop and start a life for us. She didn't know about this though, which was a huge fuck up on my part because there was no end to any of this shit, from her perspective. She had to cope any way she could so she started going out more. She has two cool female roommates that's she known for years from their sorority and they helped her a lot, I imagine. I hoped anyway. The only person she really wanted help from at this point though was from me, but I had mentally checked out and was hoping I could get my shit together in time to save us. We had planned a trip out to Colorado earlier in the year and we were both super excited about it. It all revolved around a band we planned on seeing and we even added a few more days in to hit up a music festival while we were out there. When it came time to take the trip though, as per usual, I found myself having money problems and knew I had to make sure and pinch pennies while I was out there. She was super cool about it though and paid for a lot of stuff while we're out there and just chocked it up as being my birthday present while we were out there. The stress was pretty heavy while we were out there though and the fractures in our relationship were starting to show when we would get drunk. We just got really fussy with each other and there were a couple nights while we were out there where we would just stop talking to each other altogether for the rest of the night and would sleep facing away from one another that night. Usually at some point in the night or in the morning we would sober up and apologize for being stupid with one another cause we were drunk. I've never been one to make a mountain out of a molehill but when you're under the influence and you're getting a lot of attitude back from her, it's hard not to play into it all. While we were on the trip my grandmother passed away too and that put an obvious damper on the mood of everything. Still there were some really high points to that trip and some great memories that will last a lifetime for us both I think. When we both got back home and started getting back to our lives I started doing a lot of thinking though about the viability of this whole thing. Here we were, just having been together for only about a year and we were having all this trouble. Everything was keeping us apart, our jobs, finances, social circles and we both had our respective family issues on top of all that as well. So I started really thinking about it and I expressed my concerns to her and we decided that maybe we should take a break and see how it goes. Still staying exclusive to one another but not having this title on top of everything that put all this weight on top of our both already heavily stressed shoulders. We were both hurt by this but it was obvious she was having more hard of a time than I was. We still told each other that we missed and loved each other pretty frequently but it was clear that I was dealing with this new separation better. This newly released pressure made our conversations better and made us more open to one another too. It actually made us speak more frequently which we both really liked. As time went on though it was still clear that seeing one another was going to be difficult and we both just kinda started doing our own thing. She was going out a lot and so was I, even though I found myself being more lonely than ever. Eventually New Years was coming up and she decided to fly out to California and spend that time with one of her best girlfriends, which I was kinda bummed about because I was actually able to get away from the shop and drive down to see her, and here she was, leaving. With the new year in full swing we both started making plans on our own and together. Once we planned on meeting half way between one another, getting an Airbnb and just spent most of the time tearing into one another. It was incredible. We also frequently sent each other nudes and participated in a lot of the dirty talk which I think helped us both a little. But when it came to bigger plans, she started buying tickets to a lot of music festivals and was hanging out with one of her roommates group of friends who are all about that scene, which worried me from the beginning. I knew it was only a matter of time till one of the single guys in that group would start to make his move on her but I also knew that she would stay loyal to me in this time that our relationship was on a break but was still exclusively us. I had also made a plan to attend a music festival down where we live because I friend of mine was going to actually perform in it and I was actually really excited about it, as was she. When I got down there though, things between her and I had definitely changed though. Even though we spoke often, when she told me about some of her experiences, I couldn't help but feel very detached from her. And I was jealous too. I hated that she spent all this time around new friends, doing drugs and partying and I wasn't a part of any of it and didn't know these people. I didn't like it. We also got into a little spat while I was down and afterward she had a really bad attitude with me and that was infuriating. I had such a limited amount of time down there and she was wasting it by fighting with me. I could've let it go, but again, I was stupid. I withheld sex from her that night. And that was really upsetting to her because all she wanted was to make love to me and there was all this pent up sexual tension. We spoke about it one day afterward and she was asking what was up, because she felt like I wasn't sexually attracted to her anymore and my response was ridiculous. I just told her that I wished she did more "girly" things and made more of an effort to make me aroused. It wasn't long after this weekend that we decided to really go on a break, or perhaps break up, depends on who you ask, I suppose. My mentality was that I wanted us to remain friends so that when I got back home we could still continue this thing we had together. I told her that I didn't expect her to wait for me but I also wanted her to be honest with me and tell me if she started having feelings for anyone else because I would be understanding of that. I just didn't think it would happen, foolishly. Weeks went by and we stayed talking and everything seemed fine. We told each other we loved one another, we told each other we missed one another and we spoke most of the day, almost every day. But we lead on separate lives. She started going out and going home with people or taking people home, I don't really know. And I had a few muses around for entertainment as well. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that she was planning on attending a music festival in another state that I noticed a major shift in our stance with one another though. I was REALLY starting to miss her and I started texting more frequently. We were being just as cute as we always were with one another but I also noticed that she was taking longer to text back and she was interacting more and more with another guy online. I hate social media for that, it's torture. So after the music festival up north I started asking more questions. I knew she was coming back in town the following weekend for her friends graduation and I wanted to make sure we would spend time together while she was up here. I was VERY excited to see her but as I started asking questions I noticed that she was hiding something so I asked about this guy I had noticed on Facebook and Instagram and after some time she admitted that she was interested in him. I was devastated but it got worse because she said it wasn't any of my business any more and that she had been hooking up with people. "People"?! Yes, 3 to be exact. From what she tells me. Instantly I was destroyed. Crying, asking questions, I was flipping out. I had to leave work early, I couldn't be here and bear it all. She also didn't expect this reaction, given all the attempts she gave me and how many times we did the on again off again thing, but it was all crashing down around me and it all felt so sudden. For one, I was hurt because she was developing feelings for someone else but I also didn't know she was the type of girl to have that many partners in what must have been a matter of a few weeks. But ultimately I didn't care about all that. We both have pasts and we've always been cool to not get too inquisitive about things that didn't affect us now or changed who we were. So I told her, fuck it, I'm moving home! I can't bear to be away from you anymore and I'm sick of living my life in this planning phase but she told me it's too late. As planned, she came up that Thursday and after hearing about everything on Monday I had the most horrible week. Constantly crying, never wanting to accept that we were over, but we had some things to exchange so she agreed to meet me Thursday night but would not stay to hear me grovel. I figured it was because she might give in but she just said t was because she didn't want to have to keep telling me no over and over again. Thursday came and she was going to be arriving in town pretty late, it's a four hour drive and she had to work a full day as well. When she finally got in town, she wanted to meet with her friends at the bar and I tried my best to stay awake for her. Finally at around 4am she called me and I missed the call, being wine drunk and exhausted from a week of stress and defeat. But I heard the end of the phone ringing during a dream and realized it was her calling and I jumped up to a text from her saying "oh well I tried". I immediately texted back saying sorry, but let's meet up so she told me where to pick her up and I jumped up, brushed my teeth and was out the door in less than a minute speeding toward her at 4am. When I approached where she told me to meet her, I saw her step out from the shadows and my heart immediately started going crazy and when I stopped my car and unlocked the door for her, she got in and we immediately started making out, hard. And then I sped off toward me house. As soon as we got in, we went straight to the bedroom and went in on each other, taking little breaks to talk about stuff. The best I got out of her that night was that she didn't want to be with me any more but she couldn't help but getting insanely wet as soon as she saw me. But now she's interested in this other guy and she's enjoying being single. I knew she was conflicted but the last thing I wanted to do was let myself become less relevant in her life. I just wanted to fix things and I agreed that I was no longer gonna let this space between us dictate our lives. But according to her it's too late. She's going to a music festival every weekend for the next 6 weekends and this guy will likely be at most of them too. I may be shit out of luck but my only saving grace is that he's moving out of state soon and I'm moving home soon. I'll have a job that apparently pays considerably more than I make now and I'll be around friends and family to help me get through this. I just hope there's a tiny bit left in her that still misses me though. I need that. And while I work on myself, hopefully she doesn't get too attached to him, or worse, falls in love with him and wants to follow him to where he's moving. Cause then, obviously, it's REALLY over. But that may be the outcome anyway, is being really over. I just know that all I need is for her to see me though. Just to see me once for her to remember us. I haven't gotten to the point of acceptance yet in these stages of grief, I'm still hopeful but in the meantime I erased my Facebook and may soon erase my Instagram because it's driving me crazy, wanting to see her and to pry. And who knows, maybe her not seeing me online anymore will make the heart grow fonder after all. You have to go away to come back so as for now, I'm practicing self control and leaving our love in the hands of fate. If it's gonna happen there is nothing I can immediately do to expedite that. She just has to live out this single life, hopefully not get too into this guy, and realize that I'm following through with coming home. Here's hoping it's not too late.

[mysurveys]

Random Qs

Survey #27 on the Countdown to 2018!

This survey was also done last Tuesday.

What’s the date today?

It's April 4th now.

Are you wearing jeans?

I'm wearing PJs right now.

What comes to mind when I say the word "pink"?

Cherry blossoms and one of my old OFCs named Sakuya Momoka.

Do you believe in finding the good in people?

I've only ever been unable to find good in one person. I didn't get to know them on a personal level nor did I want to so it's not like it really matters that much.

There's obviously both good and bad in everyone, though. Having a black and white mentality about others is just childish.

Has anyone let you down recently?

No, not really.

If you married the last person you rode in a car with, what would your name be?

The last person I rode in a car with is my mother and we share the same surname.

What jewelry are you wearing and where did you get it?

I'm only wearing my fave ring that I got from my maternal grandmother. She bought it at LifeWay.

What was the last thing someone said to you?

I have no idea.

What was the last thing someone asked you?

I really don't remember that either, besides the obvious.

Did you sleep alone last night?

Yes, I did, as per usual.

What will you be doing tomorrow around 2 PM?

I don't know yet.

Was the last person you spent the night with male or female?

I last stayed the night at my maternal grandmother's while our AC was out.

Have you ever kissed that person?

I haven't even kissed her on the cheek.

What're the last four digits of the number of the last person to call you?

I'm not telling you parts of people's phone numbers. It's pointless anyway.

Where was the last place you went today?

Market Basket.

Do you tan?

I don't tan at all. I only ever burn from exposure to the sun.

Have you ever spent the night on a rooftop?

I haven't.

Have you ever played hide and seek in a cornfield?

I haven't and I wouldn't want to either.

What's the nearest big city to you?

DTD makes this difficult to remember since I don't normally pay attention to such. Beaumont? I'm not aware of the population number.

What do you consider your hometown?

I first lived in Beaumont, but that was so brief that Nederland is more so my hometown.

Are you still living there?

I'm still in Nederland, but we want to move out of southeast Texas.

Do you live within twenty minutes of your best friend?

I live with my mother who's been one of my besties since I became an adult, but the rest of them are out-of-state or in Japan.

Are you wearing socks at the moment?

I'm not since I usually take them off as soon as I get home.

Have you ever taken any foreign language classes?

I never had any formal classes for Japanese, but I picked it up fluently from my friends. It was the next best thing to being dropped in Japan and learning out of necessity.

I'm not solid with the written form yet just because it's so complex, though. And I'm not really that dedicated to learning it either. It's not entirely necessary.

Were your parents married when they had you?

Yes, they were and they were trying to have a baby too.

Are they married now?

Yes, they are.

Would you marry someone 30 years older than you if they had millions?

I wouldn't marry someone just for their money since I'm not a gold-digger.

What was the last irresponsible thing you’ve done?

I don't often act irresponsibly of my own volition, but I did use my Zeroes as a crutch last month. There were so many physical pains going on in my body that I noticed how Zeroes alleviated it with an emotional feeling.

That's part of why I'm going to schedule an appointment with a new therapist soon. I need better coping mechanisms.

How long were you employed at your last job?

I've been on disability since I was seventeen so I've never had a paid job. Someone with Bipolar insomnia, dyscalculia, DTD, and long-term memory problems can't really hold a steady paid job. The only "work" I do is for my nonprofit group as a result.

Are you very stressed at the moment?

I'm not really feeling stressed right now, but I am pretty tired.

Who was the last person to make you cry?

It was partly due to my mother's lack of understanding and assistance, I think. That was sometime last year.

At least I'm guessing the last time had something to do with all of my hormonal issues involving endometriosis, hypothyroidism and diabetes. That was before I finally got a hysterectomy to alleviate some of my problems.

Did they apologize for it?

She did multiple times, but I discovered that they were empty words until the point that I had a mini breakdown. And even after that I had to lose my cool again after she was being a bitch about helping me get a non-drowsy pain medication.

Not only did it say it would make me drowsy and dizzy, it was one I was allergic to. She'll be callous like that out of nowhere.

How're things between you and your ex?

Which ex? I only speak to two of them who're my besties. One is moving on and looking for love locally. The other is obsessive and still stuck on me despite my best efforts to dissuade him. I really can't do anything more to help him let go.

How long have you been in your current relationship or been single?

I can't remember exactly when I broke it off with Sasuke M. last year. Or was that this year? Math if I know.

Have you ever fired a gun?

I haven't. I understand the dynamics, though.

Do you come from a town with a population of less than 3K?

No, I don't.

How far is it to the nearest Walmart?

Not very far, but I couldn't tell you in numeric terms due to dyscalculia and DTD.

What was the total of the last check you wrote?

I don't think I've ever done that outside of Home Ec. so I obviously know how, but I prefer not to be involved in writing them since I have dyscalculia.

Mom mixes my finances with theirs all the time because I trust her with it. I only monitor all of my entertainment purchases very closely because that pertains to my personal budget.

Do you ever donate to charities like the Salvation Army?

I think Mom drops them some change sometimes, but I prefer to donate strictly to smaller local charities when I can.

Charity begins at home and should extend to the community around you. Paying into big corporate charity groups is an unnecessary risk.

"The Salvation Army wants people like me (gay, trans, and mentally ill) dead. So no, and I hope everyone who supports them dies an agonizing death and burns in their christian hell." ← Do you believe everything you hear without validating it for yourself?

For everyone's future reference, the verse in question is Romans 1:32 which has nothing to do with physical death.

"They know God’s Law says that anyone who lives like that should die. But they not only continue to do these things themselves but also encourage others who do them." That's the Easy To Read Version.

It's speaking to Christians about various sins and sin itself causing a person to lack eternal life through salvation in Christ. Living in sin without repentance equates to eternal damnation and death. That's not the same thing as physically dying.

Why would Christ die on the cross for people He hates or wants to die physically? That doesn't even make any sense.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have eternal life."

That's inescapably clear about the context of Romans 1:32 and the Bible says that kind of thing quite often. So don't believe everything you hear.

There will never be a deficit of humans who misinterpret God's Word without meaning to be malicious or those who misuse the Bible for their own evil ends. 

If you want to know what the Bible says about anything, open it up and start reading it for yourself. That's what you have to do with literally everything else, right?

What're some lyrics from a song you've recently listened to?

"No magic can make you reappear, but in the song of the whales you are always here." That's a lyric from Return To Me from Winx Club: Beyond Believix and it's about Musa and her mother.

Do you consider yourself flexible?

To some extent, but I ish teh fat. I can surprisingly touch my toes without bending my knees, though. That's pretty good for a fatty.

Have you taken any medicine today?

I haven't taken anything since the clock hit 12 AM.

What were you doing at 5 PM?

Yesterday I was online for a bit, but it's only 2:54 AM right now. (Why am I awake!)

What's a song that reminds you of a friend and can you describe the memory it brings up?

There are only a few that remind me of past romantic relationships. I more often relate music to fictional charries.

How old were you when September 11th occurred?

Ugh, math and timelines. I was born in 1986 on May 27th so you can calculate that yourself.

Does rain make you feel depressed?

It never has that effect on me, but I sometimes want it to end if it goes on for days or if I want to go outside.

How about winter?

I love winter. It's the oppressive heat of the summer that I hate even though that season still has its merits.

What’s the nearest holiday to your birthday?

Easter falls near it just to name a major holiday here, but Cinco de Mayo, Mother's Day and Memorial Day are all closer to the date of my birth with the last one being the closest. However, Ramadan is on the actual date.

If you found out you were pregnant, who would you tell first?

That's not even possible as I have no uterus.

Has anyone given you flowers in the last six months?

Definitely not, but I don't want to receive anything that's dying and senselessly killing things to show love is gross.

How did you meet the last person to leave you a comment?

I don't even pay attention to such and I spent a lot of last month away from all social media sites too.

How long have you known the last person to call or text you?

I've known my mother since I was conceived. I was very much alive and growing at the time.

How old's the last person you rode in a car with?

Mom is 66 or 67 right now. Dyscalculia and long-term memory problems mean that I'll never get a fix on that.

What did you do when you hung out with the last person you kissed?

That was well over a decade ago so there's no way I can recall that.

What grade are you in at the moment?

I'm 30 and I never even went to a typical high school. I was in an all-grade Christian school before making an attempt at homeschooling via the web, but I pretty much knew it was useless regarding math and science. They finally let me quit.

Where's your phone right now? Who's your provider?

What was the last chore you did?

Something to do with my cats, I'm sure.

Do you prefer online classes or real classes?

"Online classes are real classes." ← This. I tried homeschooling via the internet, but I just dislike formal classes altogether.

What's the nearest red object to you?

The label on a bottle of Ozarka spring water.

What was the last board game you played?

I'm assuming it was Monopoly since that was the only board game I ever really loved. I'm great with the logical aspects of economics, but I really should've been paying other players to count my money. LOL

What're you doing after this survey?

I might do another survey or try to get some sleep after this, but I really don't feel so tired right now. I'm pretty sure that I've gone into the point of Bipolar insomnia.

I might end up watching some TV after this if I can't find another survey that looks good. Or I'll just migrate all my LJ stuff over to DW instead. Sleep eludes me.

#randomqs #surveys