#it used to be fine but now i'm in a dsmp fixating streak and like

[violexides]

after attempting to make 4 different posts illustrating my newfound psychological issues posting things from my fandoms onto tumblr and then deleting all of them immediately i think i’m going to just take a break or something

#personal #the TLDR is that i feel like i have to balance how much i post for fandoms #like i have to make sure i post the same amount for idv dr and dsmp #or else something Catastrophic will occur #and it's bringing me to the brink of panic attacks kind of consistently #like i posted an excerpt for a fic and almost started crying out of fear #and it's less fear more like. literal. serious paranoias at this point #like i'm starting to get shit like 'if i don't write something in a month someone will break in' #i just. i. mm. i LIKE posting about fandoms but #i literally do not know how to solve this issue at fucking all #go to therapy more??? start tagging fandoms more??? sideblogs??? #i don't want to make sideblogs for this shit i just #it used to be fine but now i'm in a dsmp fixating streak and like #i literally can't even dm people about it without getting stressed #i'm sorry for venting on main but like. i just. mm. #this isn't for pity or like a vague post or shading any fandom communities or shit #has nothing to do with other people. well. not really #i just literally like #it's to the extent that i panicked over making my phone backgrounds fandom related #but not all three of them like i 'broke the balance' #this all sounds so stupid i'm sorry but like. if it was just a light anxiety i wouldn't #mention it so much it's become a big fucking issue #and it's all entirely on me #maybe i'm just going insane maybe that's the takeaway i kind of am #that's kind of been happening i just. i. okay. logging off of tumblr. #ask to tag #vent