#it might take me a ton of days but it will be worth the wait

[triple-7-heaven]

ONCE AGAIN

thank you for waiting for me, readers. i do hope you enjoy it ♡ my first aespa fic, awesome! i've been going through it, thus the lack of content, but things are looking up for me. take care of yourselves, until next time :-) pairing: male reader x winter; words: 6.5k ; categories: aespa, winter, reader insert, smut, slightly storyline heavy

Back in high school, there was a girl who shone above the rest, but wasn’t necessarily popular. A girl who was a member of the math club, the photography club, and the dance team, whose evenings were filled with activities, who made many friends, but wasn’t fawned over by the student body in the way the true popular kids were. 

One evening, you were at school pretty late, tutoring in the library. You were so engrossed in your work that you didn’t notice the time passing, until the janitor came in and told you he’d be needing to clean the library up, so you’d better scram. Backpack full of books, you rushed out of the library, and quickly made your way through the dark hallway. You turned the corner and nearly collided with a small girl, who grabbed onto your arm to steady herself. 

“I-I’m so sorry,” you said, and the girl looked up at you. Oh, perfect… “Minjeong, shit, I’m sorry…” 

“Hosang, what are you doing here so late?” Minjeong asked. 

“Uh, tutoring… You know my name?” you asked incredulously. She smoothed out your sleeve, folded the collar of your shirt down, and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“You know mine, too,” she quipped and giggled before running to catch up with her dance team friends, leaving you without room to explain yourself. To explain that no, I promise it isn’t weird, everyone knows your name, Minjeong, I’m not a crazy stalker, and I’m not here to spy on you through the gym windows while you dance. But you never got to explain yourself. To be fair, you did admire her from a distance. In the halls, at lunch, you wouldn’t deny that you looked at her with heart-shaped eyes. As pretty as you thought she was, you didn’t ever talk to her, something you would eventually regret. 

Minjeong dropped out, and you didn’t run into her again. After graduation, you headed off to Seoul to learn how to fly, and soon, you realized someone else had come, too. Billboards, advertisements, you name it. For a solid month, wherever you looked, you saw her. 

The same Kim Minjeong who you nearly sacked in the hallway that night, who, instead of yelling or being upset, straightened your clothes and wished you a good night; who knew your name when you were nobody. She was Winter, now, styled with gorgeous long, blonde hair, imposed over ethereal backgrounds and colors. You had to give it to whatever company she was running with, they made that old crush of yours flare right back up again with the way they marketed that girl. Financially stable enough under an air charter company flying small private jets, you decided you’d buy a set of the group’s albums when they debuted. Sitting on the floor of your apartment, pulling the photocards and posters out of those albums, you felt the full force of the regret from your school days: if you’d only talked to her in high school, you could have her number in your phone right this minute… But you were resigned now to being a fan, and a strongly biased one. That’s all you could be. 

-

Charter piloting has benefits. Loads, surely. You’re essentially a glorified taxi driver, charging rich business people and celebrities $20k for a one hour flight from Incheon to Jeju. It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money, right? As good as the pay, benefits, and overall experience are, the clientele… Well. Nothing you hate more than a stuck-up diva, and it’s even worse when you’re trapped in a flying metal tube with them. But you make do; the idol sightings you get on the job make all the asshole corporates worth it. From old school stars your parents might know, to drama actors and actresses, to the newest generation of idols, you welcomed a ton of each aboard, more than you could ever remember if you didn’t write it down. Unforgettable guests come along now and then; a trio of Twice members one weekend, some big-name producers behind insurmountably popular groups for a surfing trip, and the casts of award-winning shows on celebratory benders. Unforgettable loses its meaning when your secretary hands you today’s clipboard. 

“This is mine? Thought it was… Uh…” you trail off and your eyes widen. The secretary laughs behind the desk.

“I knew it! You’re her fan, right? You always talk about Aespa. And I know you have her photocard in your wallet,” she winks at you as your face fills with an embarrassingly deep blush. 

“It’s not just that, Jihye. I knew her in high school,” you say hesitantly. 

“Oh my God, it’s like a reunion!” the girl squeals. “Wait, were you cool in high school?” she laughs. 

“Uh… I don’t-” 

“Yup, I knew it,” she says matter-of-factly. “Let me guess, the lame, nerdy guy had a crush on the cool-chick future idol?”

“No! Well, I don’t know,” you say. Your mind is too busy racing to think properly. The young secretary giggles to herself as you walk to the hangar. Preflight routines are difficult to complete when your mind’s racing faster than a Blackbird. Would she recognize you? Should you say something? Nah… You’re kicking tires pretending to be busy and the door opens. The trail end of a conversation… 

“-ng is going to be your pilot. He’s a great aviator and an even better tour guide, so I’m sure he’ll be happy to show you around the island,” Jihye says. That damn secretary. 

“Hosang? I feel like I’ve known someone with- oh, hi,” Minjeong stops abruptly when Jihye walks her around the aircraft to meet you. Long, wavy, dark hair, with bangs curled and blown out to mathematical perfection. Fair, unlined skin of a small and cute face. A simple and comfortable black sweater, a modest manicure, and plain, natural eye makeup. You bow shyly and wave. 

“All good to go?” Jihye asks with the most annoying smile in the world. 

“Yep,” you answer. Jihye departs and you welcome Minjeong to get comfortable while you finish up. A strange look occupies those perfect features as you give her a quick safety brief, then turn to enter the cockpit. Before the door closes behind you, “if you need anything, let me know.” 

Why are you cold with her? Why are you nervous? You hardly smiled at her or asked what she was traveling for… Pure white clouds roll calmly underneath you. You resolve to be nice to her, even if she doesn’t recognize you, because let’s be real, it’s not her fault for not recognizing you. She meets tons of people. You’re just some not-cool kid from high school who had a crush on the cool-chick future idol. A pilot report over the radio snaps you out of it as you enter Jeju International’s airspace. Gusting winds and vertical movement, it’ll be a bumpy ride down. You reach for the intercom. 

“Hey Minjeong, forgive me if I startled you. Looking at some rough air on the way down, but we’re about 20 minutes out. I’d sit down and belt in if you aren’t already, okay? Call if there’s any issues, and think of what you’d like for dinner.” You toggle off the intercom and wonder where the hell that came from. What, Jihye said you’d be happy to show Minjeong around the island, right? So you’ll show her. Your inner autopilot (funny…) takes over and you idly nudge the yoke for your approach phases. Wheels on the ground, hangar door shut, you stand and exit the cockpit. Minjeong looks up at you sleepily, and you sit across from her on one of the bench-style seats. 

“So… dinner ideas?” you ask. Minjeong stands up and points at you groggily, shuffling towards you until her finger pokes the center of your chest. 

“You. You went to my school, didn’t you?” she says, tiredness dripping from her voice. You nod and meet her eyes. “How come you didn’t say anything?” 

“I didn’t think you’d recognize me…” you say softly, honestly. She moves her hand to your shoulder.

“Well you’re bigger, yeah, but… I recognize you. Bigger and taller. Same face,” she says. The smile can’t be kept off your face, unfortunately, and Minjeong smiles too. 

“You sound really tired. Let’s get going,” you say. After a quick post-flight and signing off with the hangar staff, you face her and say: “Gonna change really quick, then we’ll head to dinner.” You slip into the FBO restroom and drop your duffel, then slip out of your annoyingly stiff white uniform shirt. You stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment, then pull on a plain black t-shirt before swapping your slacks for black jeans. One careful ruffle of the hair later, and you’re leaving the restroom to meet Minjeong in the hallway. 

“Alright, ready.” You carry Minjeong’s luggage and she trails behind you, much like a puppy, on the way to the parking lot. The modest rent car’s parked right where the staff told you, so you open the door for Minjeong and she shoots you a confused smirk. You smile back, and hop into the driver’s seat. 

“So what’s the occasion? Family in Jeju?” you ask. 

“Honestly, I… When I get time off, I run a secret travel blog… So I take vacations, and take pictures and stuff,” she says quietly. “I dunno, it’s kind of silly.” 

“How come it’s silly? Sounds fun to me. We’ll have to go to some really cool places so you can write a good post, huh?” you reply. “Now, dinner?” 

“Mm. I’m too tired to think,” she mumbles. Great, now the pressure’s on you to pick something perfect… 

“How about Black Pork Street? Could make for some good photos, and it’s really as good as people say it is,” you say and put the car in gear. 

“Sounds good…” she trails off. Really, really sleepy. But she makes an effort to talk to you. She makes an effort to keep the focus off of herself, and more on you; she asks you how graduation was, since she didn’t go, and you really had to reach deep into your memory for that one. She asks you about flying, about why you chose it, about your life in Seoul, and about how you never ran into each other in the city. You hold yourself back from saying ‘well no, Minjeong, we haven’t run into each other in a city of 10 million people, with about 9,999,999 of those people being more interesting than me.’ When you arrive, Minjeong is lively and excited, telling you about her camera and asking what’s next after dinner. You kick yourself when you start wishing for a specific sort of dessert. Quit being dirty-minded, idiot… 

“Let’s go! I’m hungry,” Minjeong says, dragging you out of your thoughts. She looks perfect taking photos on the street, pointing her camera at the sky, at signs, storefronts, plants, street cats. The way her eyes light up when she takes a good photo, runs over to show you, insists that you take a few of her; she’s not much different than she was back then, huh? A person with a good heart. A person whose heart you’d like to learn. 

“Is it our honeymoon? First date? Must be a first date, you look nervous,” the dorky waiter says, nodding to you. Minjeong laughs, and you blush; the difference between you. 

“Uh… J-just high school friends,” you manage to say. Minjeong jots notes and snaps photos throughout the meal, and as you’re serving up some pork belly for her, she takes a few photos.

“C’mon, make it look nice,” she whines. 

“You’re serious about this, huh?” you laugh. 

“It’s… It’s my baby. My project. My travel blog is like… I dunno, it’s a way for me to be creative, but not be Winter. It’s a way to just be Minjeong,” she slowly explains. “To have a space that’s all my own. Where I can talk about stuff I like, and not worry about press, or netizens, or fans, or anti-fans.”

“I get it. A space of your own. I should call you Minjeong then, right?” you say, nodding your head a bit too fast and a bit too much. She smiles and nods. But she nods like a regular person, not like you. 

Dinner passes without incident. If we can ignore the waiter thing. Do you look like a couple or something? Maybe you do compliment each other. Maybe you seem like high school sweethearts. Maybe you could be. 

“Hosang?” she says as she leans forward. “You in there? Let’s go to the hotel!” You snap out of it for the second time and hop up to lead the way to the rent car. The paperwork Jihye gave you had most of the information listed for Minjeong’s trip, and the hotel she’d be staying in was, of course, the Lotte City Hotel. No less grandeur for the princess. The GPS gets you there quickly, and you pull up to the front doors, leaving the car on as you grab Minjeong’s suitcase. Just as you’re rounding the front of the car and waving goodnight, she makes a confused face.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” she whines. Minjeong the kid… 

“Oh, uh, yeah. I was gonna head to the motel near the airport, that’s where my room is. Did you need something else?” you say. 

God, why do I sound like a customer service bot? ‘Did you need something else?’ Seriously? 

“I… I dunno, I guess I just wanted someone to hang out with,” she replies.

Oh. To hang out? 

“Oh, of course, Minjeong. Let me park, I’ll meet you,” you say. And she’s waiting for you in the same spot once you return to the front door; she didn’t even go inside. Her long, dark hair’s ruffled by the wind. Cute. 

NO. Not cute. Not cute or pretty or hot. She’s my client, my customer, my responsibility; not my crush, my girlfriend, or my next body. Look at the ground or something, for the love of God, Hosang. 

But looking at the ground can’t keep her legs from your peripheral view. She walks through the sliding doors and you follow behind with her suitcase in your hand, and your duffel on your shoulder. Long, slender, perfect legs, and you’re looking right at them. You snap your gaze to the windows and pretend to be looking at the skyline through the windows while Minjeong checks in. After a moment, she turns to you and smiles. 

“Do you have a swimsuit?” she asks. You shake your head. “There’s shops on the bottom floors, go and find one, okay? Meet me on the sixth floor. There’s a pool! The pictures are gonna be perfect!” 

She shoves a room key into your hand and takes the bags from you. You’re left in the lobby, dumbfounded, wondering how you should navigate this. A bellhop whistles at you.

“First night with her? Sheesh,” the young man says. “Score!”

“Weird situation, man. Weird as hell,” you trail off as you walk away, still shaking your head, more so to yourself now. Okay, shops. Swimsuit. You begin to feel insecurity nagging at you. You’re lean, sure, but not perfect. Not as perfect as… Well, nevermind. Quickly, you make your way through the shops, and find a pair of rather plain, mid-length black trunks at a duty free shop, changing into them in the restroom and leaving your shirt on. The elevator ride lasts forever. And ever. And ever. Until the robotic voice announces,

Sixth floor. 

The doors open and you walk quietly out to the open area of the pool. You see one figure in the water already. She’s facing the city, hugging the edge of the pool and gazing at the skyline. The water laps at her back, just below her shoulder blades, and the silky smooth skin of her back is laid out for you, with only thin bikini straps to cover it. Her arms and shoulders are small, toned, but soft. Fancams and jacket shoots could never do justice to the sculpted angel right in front of your face. 

“How’s the temperature?” you say. She turns around. Her top is composed of white strings and back fabric; conservative, but form-fitting to her chest, that Goldilocks chest, the perfect balance of size and shape. Her collarbones are distinct, curved, beautiful. Hell, every curve you can see is perfect, from the angle of her jaw to the base of her neck to the gentle taper of her arms. 

“It’s heated,” she giggles. “Come on!” Insecurity. Nagging. Loudly. 

“Are you sure? I can just hang out and take pictures for you up here, it’s not-”

“Come onnn,” she pleads. You turn away from her and slowly drag your shirt off, then kick your shoes and socks off near where Minjeong left hers. The water is slightly warmer than room temperature, and a welcome change from the chilly air. You sit yourself down on a ledge in the pool, and Minjeong swims to your side, sitting right next to you. Not close enough to touch. 

“See? Isn’t it nice up here?” she says.

“It is. Ever been to Jeju before?” you ask.

“Nope. I think it’s even nicer with a good tour guide.” 

“Ah, come on. I’m not all that.” 

“You’re…” she trails off and sighs. Her hair tickles your shoulder when she leans into you. “I wish I’d talked to you more back then.”

“Hmm? Don’t worry about it, that’s way past us,” you mumble.

“So… If I said I wanted to make up for lost time… What would you say?” she says and you feel her fingertips smoothly run over your leg under the water. 

“I think I’d ask where that idea came from,” you say breathlessly. She moves her hand to your waist, arm around your front. 

“I always liked you. I just didn’t think you liked me, you were always so quiet,” she says. Your hand, now, meets her waist, and your eyes meet hers. 

“Is this okay? I mean… Can you do stuff like this? Now that you’re all famous and everything,” you say, struggling to form any words at all, overwhelmed by the electric sensations of skin on skin underwater. She cups your cheek with a wet hand and nods to the camera bag. 

“Can I get some pictures for the blog? Before… Before I forget,” she finishes cautiously.

Before you forget, huh… Gonna make me take an impromptu bikini shoot of one of the most beautiful women ever. No big deal. 

Minjeong disentangles from you; she tosses you a towel and you dry your hands, then power on the camera. Eyes fixed on the camera’s display screen, you start shooting. She moves through pose after pose, and you can feel yourself hardening. How could you not? A perfect, slim, pale Minjeong, body covered with water droplets, her skin shining in the flash of the camera. 

“Would you check and see if those ones are any good?” she calls to you. You begin scrolling through the photos, and sure, they’re great. It would be hard to take a bad photo of her. 

“Yeah, these are good,” you say. 

“Let’s take a few more, then we can relax a bit,” she says. The camera display switches back to photo mode, and you look through; this time, your heart stops. The screen shows you that Minjeong has shed her top, and now, the camera focuses on her bare breasts, nipples erect in the cold air, water streaming down her chest. Her hourglass shape is all the more prominent now, and you wonder how it would feel to run your hands all over her wet body. You begin to lower the camera, but she shakes her head. “These are just for me. Please?” 

“J-just for you?” you mumble, mostly to yourself. Her poses grow more erotic. She squeezes her breasts together with her arms, grabs them with her hands, and leans over for you to capture a shot of her from the side with her back arched. Now you’re definitely hard, no question about it, but at least now there’s no way she could be mad at you for it. It’s her fault. She moves towards you, and you set the camera on the ground next to the pool. 

“How’d they turn out?” she asks. Her arms reach around the back of your neck, and yours wrap around her waist. 

“You’re evil,” you say into her neck before planting a few kisses there. 

“Oh, how could you say that? It seems like you had a good time,” she says. Her hips grind forward against your cock; she wants you to know that she knows how hard she’s gotten you. “You know, to be really honest, Hosang, you’re the first guy I ever thought about while touching myself.” 

Really? 

“Why?” 

“You’re an idiot- Oh, God,” she’s interrupted by moans as you kiss further down her neck. “I just like you, okay? 

“Well I just like you, too. Always did,” you say. 

“I hope so. Otherwise this could be kind of awkward,” she giggles. You withdraw from her neck to place a kiss on her temple, and finally, on her lips. She tastes so sweet, lips so soft, tongue so aggressive. Her hand grabs onto your hair and she forces your head to turn so she can deepen the kiss. Minjeong seems hungry, desperate. You sit back on the ledge with your high school crush in your lap, her legs around your waist. She’s got both hands on your face, and she observes you like some sort of specimen. 

“What’s, uh, what’s up?” you say, eyebrows raised.

“Your face… As different as it is, it almost looks exactly the same as the face I fell for back then. And I think I’m falling for it again,” she says. You begin to speak, but she places a finger over your lips. “I know what you’re gonna say. Just don’t think about it right now. Don’t. Think. About anything.”

Between her words, she’s taking your hands in hers, and moving them to her bare chest. You swallow. Hard. She’s right. If only for tonight, for this weekend, for a week, you have to just let it go. Her breasts are soft, and she whimpers when you squeeze them. She giggles and moans through a toothy smile when you roll her nipples between your fingers. Minjeong is clay in your hands, melting under every single touch, and it’s your job to make this trip unforgettable for her, to mold her into shapes of pleasure she’s never felt before. 

“You know there’s a sauna,” she whispers through gasps.

“Good idea,” you reply. Water falls from both of your bodies when you stand up with her still wrapped around you, clinging to you like a koala bear to a tree. A quick jog from the pool to the sauna, but the wind still manages to chill you both to the bone. The sauna, though, is comfortably warm. Minjeong in your lap again, you sit on the wooden bench and she devours your neck. Her tongue and breath are hot against your skin and the steam begins to make you sweat already. She stands and takes hold of your hand, beckoning you to follow suit; you stand close to her and she looks up to meet your eyes. Small hands make their way to your waistband. 

“Can I?” she asks softly. You help her slide the trunks down your legs, and your cock springs out, painfully hard, smacking your stomach. Her hand wraps around it immediately, and she moves in to kiss you again. She moves her tongue slowly against yours and her hand works your length all the while; her delicate fingers find the precum dripping from your tip and spread it generously. Delicately, she kneels; cautiously, she licks your cock from the base to the tip before latching onto the head and giving gentle suction. She looks up at you with her deep brown eyes and you place your hands on her head. You’re gentle with her. Your fingers make their way through her hair, and you keep your hips as still as you can, so as not to overwhelm her. You feel the back of her throat suddenly, and a moan escapes your mouth briefly, before you slap your hand over it. Minjeong backs off and strokes you with her hand.

“Don’t… I want to hear you,” she says. You feel your cock twitch, and you let out a sigh. A soft moan when her strokes speed up. “Good…” 

“What if someone-”

“If someone hears? They’ll leave. Don’t worry,” she says. She gives you a few more seconds of suction, tongue massaging your head, then stands back up. You switch places with her, only now, she casually strips her bottoms off and sits on the wooden bench. Her toned thighs spread apart slowly while you stand back to take her all in. 

After all these years, there she is; imagine telling high school Hosang what’s happening right now. Forget moaning her name while I jerk off… She’s right there. 

Beads of sweat roll down your face and body. Minjeong, too; she’s covered in dewdrops of her own. Somehow you think they must look better on her than they do on you. A deep breath, and you step towards her. Her chest rises and falls rapidly under your hands when you give her pert breasts some more attention. You’re on your knees, now, watching her face contort and listening to her voice catch in her throat. If she never wore a bra again, you’d surely be happy. Kisses planted down her body, from her sternum down her stomach, halting at her hipline. You take a moment to stroke her thighs softly with your fingertips, and they shudder. More kisses for her legs, from her ankles up her calves to her inner thighs. Her sweat is salty and sweet. How will the rest of her taste? You look at her again.

"What do you like?" you ask. 

"I… I don't know."

"When you touch yourself, how do you do it?"

"That's embarrassing…"

"When you're using your hands, imagining they're mine, what do you do?"

"..." 

"Show me, so I can do it for you." Minjeong’s eyes are half-lidded, lust-laden. When you look down at her perfect, trimmed pussy, it’s dripping; your words got to her. She takes hold of your right wrist and places your hand on her stomach, thumb on her clit. 

“Slowly,” she whispers. You oblige, and slowly make circles on her clit, spreading her wetness over the sensitive nub. Her next move brings your left hand to her mouth. She sucks on your two middle fingers, taking them deeply into her mouth. Wet enough now, she moves your hand, palm up, near her pussy, and nods. “Inside.” The walls of her pussy are so hot, so scorching hot, inch after inch engulfing your fingers. One curl of your fingers and she’s cursing, moaning, bucking her hips. Poor girl must be starving. 

“Is that good for you, Minjeong?” you say. Your voice seems like it’s dropped an octave and slowed down about half a measure. It doesn’t matter; she can’t answer you, anyway. She’s busy stuttering out your name. Temptation gets the best of you and you move your thumb away. Minjeong whines, but it’s soon replaced by a near scream when your thumb is replaced by your tongue. As expected, she tastes incredible, some remnants of salt water from the pool, but overwhelmingly sweet underneath. She clenches around your fingers a bit.

“F- Oh my fucking-” Minjeong stutters. Her eyes roll back in her head. Her delicate fingers grip your hair, not so delicately. Rapid, shuddering breaths cause her toned stomach to rise and fall quickly, her arms and legs jerk, and the salty and sweet flavor floods your tongue. Unlatched from your hair, Minjeong’s hands grab your face and yank you up towards her face; as you stand, the tip of your cock grazes over her clit. 

“Whoops,” she whispers. Her lips are warm and smooth when they lock onto yours. And you feel her hand creep down your abdomen. Your attempt to break the kiss is foiled with Minjeong’s arm around the back of your head, and her other hand moves up and down your shaft. She’s devious, smiling into the kiss as you fill her mouth with moans, tightly gripping your cock and twisting her hand with her up and down motions. 

Kim Minjeong from high school is jerking me off. Kim Winter from Aespa is jerking me off. 

It’s a mindfuck. She kneads the back of your neck and sucks on your tongue. You can’t fuck her in a public sauna… Can you? 

“Minjeong…” you whisper against her cheek. She looks at you innocently. Like someone who isn’t driving you crazy. 

“What?” she giggles. 

“How about we go to your room? Could be bad if, you know, someone sees us,” you mumble. 

“How about once here, and a few more times there?” she says with a wink. “It’s late, baby… No one will come up.” 

‘Baby.’ 

Minjeong guides you towards her pussy with the hand that had never left your cock. Her legs rest on your shoulders, and you grip her pillowy soft thighs to brace yourself for impact, for entry. Her heat begins to swallow your length, quite easily due to how wet and aroused she is, and she makes the hottest noise she’s made the whole night. And now you’re hilted in Kim Minjeong in a hotel sauna with an unlocked door. Her nails scratch at your chest and shoulders frantically. 

“God, so full…” she moans. 

“You want me to fuck you now?” you put the sultry voice back on. She nods. “When you’re using your toys, imagining they’re me…” 

“Please, Hosang, just fuck me,” she pleads. “However you want. However you need.” It’s all you need to hear, certainly. You pull out nearly all the way, and watch your cock disappear inside of her with a grunt. Your thumbs nearly touch as you wrap your hands around her small waist to pull her down around your shaft with every thrust. All inhibitions are gone, any restraints have been lifted; you’re slamming into her hard, and the both of you moan loudly enough for the reception desk to hear. Minjeong’s tight abs contract and relax under your hands, you look at her face to see her drooling with her eyes rolled back. Like, actually, really drooling. 

“Fuck, babe… You’re really enjoying this, huh?” you say gruffly. You swipe your thumb over her chin and she leans down to suck on it instead. Lustful eyes meet your gaze and your thumb pops out of her lips. 

“I’ve been waiting so long,” she says. A quick sigh to punctuate her sentence. “So many years…” 

“Well-” you try to speak, but she clenches herself around you. “Fuck. I don’t think I can wait any longer than I already have-”

“Pull out baby,” she sighs. “I want to swallow you.” 

Regretfully, you withdraw from Minjeong’s tight hole, but the steam keeps your cock rather warm while she kneels down. After a lick from the base to the tip, she takes you all the way into her throat. She takes your hands and places them on her head, looking up at you sinfully. With fistfuls of her dark hair, you pull back, and thrust in again. She gags and coughs, but she never gives up, and soon, you’re shooting rope after rope, nearly convulsing in pleasure. She strokes you into her open mouth, wringing every drop out of your spent cock. When she’s satisfied, she swallows and stands up to kiss your neck and chest. 

“How about… How about we go to the room?” she says. 

“You want me to stay with you tonight?” you ask. She laughs a bit. Her laugh is fluttering and adorable, a sharp contrast with the noises she was making moments earlier.

“Of course.” 

-

After getting dressed and gathering Minjeong’s things, you head upstairs. In the elevator, you stand behind her; she grinds back onto your groin and brings your hands to her chest. Floors fly by and the number on the small screen goes up as you massage her chest and her delicate moans get you painfully hard once again. She rushes in front of you to the room, giving you another view of those creamy, toned legs, and you do your best to catch up. Once inside, she sits on the bed in front of you and waits. Her hands travel slowly from her hips to her knees, and even slower she parts them with her hands to reveal the glistening skin peeking out from her bikini. Her breath hitches when you step forward and gaze down at her. 

“I showed you what to do last time,” Minjeong whispers. “I want to see what you’ll do on your own.” 

“No pressure, right?” you joke, and she smiles. Her thighs are soft and malleable in your hands, and her neck softer under your lips. You untie the bikini top and cast it to the side, then kiss further and further down her neck. Kisses travel down her neck, over her collarbones, down to her sternum. There’s still salt from the pool on her skin, and you lick towards her nipple before giving it a bite. Minjeong jumps slightly and closes her fists in your hair. Your mouth works on one nipple and your hand kneads the other breast, perfectly sized for your hand. After switching sides once or twice, you kiss her stomach. Her hands move to your shoulders as you kneel on the floor in front of her.

Minjeong’s legs are wide open. You slide your fingers into the waistband of the swimsuit and slowly drag the bottoms down. More kisses travel from her knees across her inner thighs and up to her hip bones. She’s still dripping for you and you drag your tongue upwards over her pussy slowly to savor her. You spit on your fingers and slip them inside of her easily. 

“Ohhh my God-” she whispers and bucks her hips. “Go faster…” 

“Mm, so impatient, Minjeong,” you reply. Your tongue returns to her clit and makes smooth circles. She tenses around your fingers when you curl them back towards you, her moans growing louder, grip on your hair growing stronger. Taking her by surprise, you withdraw your fingers and stand up. While her hands work automatically on pulling your swim trunks down, you take a moment to just gaze at her. Her ruffled, semi-wet hair, strands sticking to her forehead and swaying wildly as she kisses up your thighs. Her flushed, glistening skin, cheeks inflating and deflating with the waves of pleasure coursing up your torso as your length disappears into her mouth again. Her pretty shoulders and arms. Her nose buried in your stomach.

Fuck. 

“You’re really good at that,” you moan. With a yelp Minjeong is scooped up into your arms and tossed, more or less, onto the pristine hotel bed. She pats the bed beside her, and you get the message. You lie back and let her mount you. She guides your tip to her entrance, and once in line, she slams her hips down aggressively. You’re content to let her ride. Her body moves in mesmerizing ways as she grinds on you, seeking the best angle for your cock to rub against all the right places. Just as soon as you begin thrusting into her, your phone starts ringing. 

“Dammit, sorry, Minjeong,” you curse and remove the girl from your lap. Fucking spam call? Really? With the phone silenced, you turn around to see her lying back on the pillows. 

Like an animal, you crawl towards her; you feel like one at least, with the way your cock is throbbing. She pulls her legs up for you, and you guide your tip towards her dripping center. The warm feeling envelops you again and you sigh, eyes closed. Your hands find her waist and keep her torso still while you begin to drive into her. You almost can’t even hear her whines anymore, her voice punctuated by each thrust, curses and iterations of your name following every other sound.

“-nside me,” Minjeong’s voice fades in as your stupor breaks a bit. You lean forward and make a confused expression. “Cum inside me. I want to feel you fill me…” 

And something about the way she says it just obliterates any second thoughts you may or may not have had. Her high, airy voice, begging for such an impure action, intensifies the warm, wet pleasure surrounding your cock. It only gets warmer and wetter as your cum dumps into Minjeong, deeper and deeper inside of her, coating your shaft, dribbling out onto the sheets. Your thrusts slow down, but your dick stays inside; you’re tired. You wrap your arms around her waist, and lie down gently on top of her with your face in her neck. She administers gentle scratches to your scalp. 

“You came so much, Hosang,” she whispers. Her legs settle around your back. 

“Drained all my energy,” you laugh weakly. 

“You’re heavy. Can we switch?” she says. So you do; you roll onto your back. Your cock slips out in the meantime, and you both laugh about it. She fits in your arms like she was made for them.

For a long while you lie there. The cold air condition and the crisp sheets are a welcome contrast to your steaming hot skin and the panting, sweating furnace lying on top of you. Minjeong painstakingly brings her hand to your cheek and kisses the other with soft lips. A slow blink. A thought in your mind. 

Is this what it feels like?

“What are you thinking about?” she asks. She knows. 

“How do you feel about me?” you reply. Her expression is mixed.

“How do I feel… I feel like there’s a reason we ended up on this trip together,” she answers. Her body rises as you take a deep breath. “I mean I feel like something brought us together.” 

“What do you want to do about it?” you ask. 

“I want to find out why. There must be a reason this happened, you know?” she says. A small yawn. “Like… There must be something waiting at the end of a journey we can take together to find out. Or something.” 

Together? A journey? 

“Think it might be time for you to go to sleep,” you whisper. Her baby hairs stick to your face when you kiss her temple. The sheets are smooth and cool when you pull them up over Minjeong’s body and yours. She falls asleep quickly. You don’t. You’re thinking about IFR plans and what to say to her in the morning. Your fingers trace along the smooth skin of her hips and lower back for a while. The softness is comforting. And you fall asleep. 

Is this part gonna go in the blog post? 

#aespa fanfic #winter x male reader #aespa x reader #aespa x male reader #aespa smut #winter smut #girl group smut #kpop fanfic #kpop smut

[mysteryshoptls]

Happy Winter Holiday Gift Calendar 2023

These are all the messages that you get from the boys when you log in during the Winter Holiday Campaign from 09 Dec 2023 to 31 Dec 2023! For those that want to read them again, you can find them in the Album, under GIFT CALENDAR 2023.

"How will you be spending the day?"

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle

I think I will go to the library today. There were someone's scribbles all over the book I borrowed yesterday, you see. It disrupts my focus, so I plan to find a replacement book. Seriously... It's a terrible crime to deface a book like this.

Ace

Today? Well, it's snowing outside, and I got no club practice, so maybe I'll check out on my streaming service a movie or show that catches my eye. I can stay warm and cozy in my room, all while munching on some snacks. Don'tcha think we deserve lazy days like this sometimes?

Deuce

I'm going to try to finish the assignments I got today, before the day ends. That's what an honor student should do, right? But... The first question is already a tough prac app question...? Right! Just gotta hunker down and get down to it!

Cater

Maybe I'll surf Magicam for some 'cammable spots that're only available in the winter. Stuff like diamond dust, or hotels made from ice... Knowin' they're only limited to the season really gets me psyched up!

Trey

It's pretty cold every day now, so I think I'll stock up on lemonade-ginger syrup. It'll warm you right up if you drink some. What, according to the Queen of Hearts' Laws, we can't have lemonade after 8 o'clock? Well, this has ginger in it, so it's a completely different drink, isn't it?

SAVANACLAW

Leona

No plans worth mentioning. What, not what you were expecting? Well, too bad. The campus is completely covered in snow, so the best thing for me to do is just to get back to my dorm room and relax while solving some chess problems.

Jack

The track team has practice today. But since it's supposed to snow in the afternoon, it may just end up being indoor training. It takes a while or the body to get limber in the winter. That means we need to extra thorough in our warming up exercises.

Ruggie

Obviously, I'm gonna be workin'! Today, I'm at a cake shop, and tomorrow I'm waitin' tables at a restaurant... The holidays are coming up, so 'tis the season for a ton of high-payin' temp jobs to fill my pockets, too! Shishishi!

OCTAVINELLE

Azul

As always, I will be awaiting everyone's visit to the Mostro Lounge. On a cold day such as this, we usually receive orders for dishes that are more common in the winter season. I'm sure today will be a rather busy day.

Jade

I thought perhaps I would make a herbarium. The atmosphere this time of year tends to be dry, so it is the perfect opportunity. How would you like to join me? No need to worry, I will show you how everything is done.

Floyd

Yesterday I saw someone wearing these boots lined with fur, and it looked kinda fascinating, so I thought I'd try to find some in town. I wonder if it's hard to walk in? If I find a good pair, I think I'll buy 'em and try 'em out.

SCARABIA

Kalim

Today, we have travelling salesmen from the Scalding Sands coming. I'm planning on buying a ton of stuff for the holidays! It's so exciting to think about what kind of treasure I might find! You should bring some friends over and check it out, too.

Jamil

There's no club activities today, so I plan to look into a few things. My family will be going on a trip over the holidays, you see. Tourist attractions, climate, local cuisine, souvenirs... Never a bad idea to gather too much information, don't you think?

POMEFIORE

Vil

I intend on picking up the spring coat I had on order. I'll also look for accessories that go with it while I'm out. Hm? It's too early to think about spring attire? If I wait to prepare everything for after it starts to get warmer, then I'll completely miss out on the season.

Epel

Snow's piling up again today, so I'm plannin' on clearing the magical shift field with the rest of my clubmates. Didn't bother me none, but the other guys were all dog-tired... Pathetic, ain't they?

Rook

I plan to check on the houseplants we are cultivating in the Science Club. Fufu, I wonder what sort of expressions they'll have today? I do hope there'll be some changes from yesterday that I'll get to enjoy.

IGNIHYDE

Idia

Obvi, just been hyperfixating on my online games, like always... Rather, why would you think I'd go out in cold weather like this in the first place? I recently overhauled the internet speed in the dorm, so it's crazy fast now lol. Gonna actually pull an all-nighter, it's been a while!

Ortho

It'll probably be a game day with my roommates, since the new game that I ordered online arrived. Physical games might take up more space, but I just can't help but want to actually collect my favorite games, y'know?

DIASOMNIA

Malleus

It's chilly today. The best thing to possibly do on days like this is to warm my room and enjoy some frozen treats. Perhaps I'll invite Lilia and the others later. Fufu... I suppose it's not a bad thing to be the one making preparations for them once in a while.

Silver

I will be practicing my swordsmanship with Father after this. I thought I would finish up my assignments beforehand, but... Before I realized it, I had fallen asleep and my notepad was completely blank. What should I do...?

Sebek

I plan to read the book I ordered from the Mystery Shop the other day. It's a book that I've been eagerly awaiting. Grandfather was the one to recommend it to me, so I must read it over and over again and tell him my thoughts on it!

Lilia

We have band practice today. However... When it gets cold like this, my fingers get numb and hard to move. Hm? Naah, I already have the songs memorized. It's really only about staying in rhythm with the other members!

OTHERS

Grim

Brrr, it's cold～! Hey, henchie! Today we're gonna stay cozy under that "ＫＯＴＡＴＳＵ" thingie. We'll have some snacks and play some games together... Myaha! Today's totally gonna be a blast!

Requested by Anonymous.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst riddle #twst ace #twst deuce #twst cater #twst trey #twst leona #twst jack #twst ruggie #twst azul #twst jade #twst floyd #twst kalim #twst jamil #twst vil #twst epel #twst rook #twst idia #twst ortho #twst malleus #twst silver #twst sebek #twst lilia #twst grim #twst translation

[belphieslilcow]

If it’s not a problem with you can we please get some headcaons on how the obey me brothers get off when we’re not there to help?

The fact I wrote this over the span of over a month... sorry for the wait but I finally got it done!!

🔞 Needing Your Own Hand

Lucifer

Lucifer tends to edge himself a lot, not purposely to make his orgasms more intense, but because he thinks he's above touching himself until it all builds up.

It becomes worse when you're in a relationship and you don't have sex for a bit, he gets so used to consistent pleasure that he becomes desperate for your touch.

He'll be doing his paperwork at his desk in his secret office, a cursed record softly playing, and a glass of demonus nearby... but he can't focus when all he can think about is you.

How your hand would feel stroking him and praising him for the good work he's been doing lately and that he deserves this. However of course since you're not there right now, he removes one of his gloves and leans back in his chair, he doesn't have lube in his office, so he slowly teases his tip until precum starts to leak out.

Demons can't resist temptation and as he jacks himself off imagining how great you'd feel, he speeds up his stokes and bites his lip as he cums over his hand with a deep moan.

Mammon

Mammon's pretty normal when jacking off, position wise at least. He does it in his bed most of the time, he gets pretty horny frequently too, so he has a few sex toys he likes to use, guy is greedy of course so he wants ALL the pleasure he can get.

He starts off stripping down and getting comfy while laying down, he probably already has a boner so he starts stroking it right away. He likes to fantasize when you aren't around and while they change depending on what he's in the mood for, he always gets so desperate and needy by the end.

If you're cool with it, he is 100 percent down to take nudes and/or videos to send to you. Though he'd love some special ones back for his eyes only in return. He moans get very loud and whiny and usually goes for multiple rounds until he's tired out, or til he's having dry orgasms from all the cum he's milked from himself.

Levi

You know a cute lil degenerate otaku like him masturbates pretty frequently. He's pretty quick and dirty with it usually, just rubbing one out at his desk and cumming into a tissue (funny that tissues are one of his liked items, hm?) with some hentai dating sim on.

Though he does have his moments where he needs more, and that's where his sex toy collection comes into play!! He's totally the type to have fantasy ones too, you know the dragon dildos and fleshlights? He doesn't have a *huge* collection, but a few of each type depending on what he's feeling that particular day.

He's also not shy about using his tail when his hands are busy, he'll have both hands on a controller and his tail wrapped around his cock, pumping him for all he's worth. He maaay also use it during facetime calls with you to secretly jack off just underneath his desk or behind his laptop.

Satan

you know what, I think satans a bit of a closet perv

he's got some absolutely filthy erotica novels tucked away on his shelves for when he needs a bit more than his fantasies to help him out

he also maaay just have a hidden pair of cat ears and a buttplug tail for when he's feeling subby, he'll put them on/in alone is he's especially needy and misses you

I wouldn't think he'd jack off too too much honestly, maybe just below average?

Asmo

oh you know mr. avatar of lust jacks off a ton

I feel like he rubs one out at least in the morning when he wakes up and before he goes to bed, starting and ending the day in a good mood, yknow.

and wowie wow is he versatile, he's got toys galore to help him out when his hands and fingers aren't enough to satisfy

he's another one who is more than down to share nudes or vids, mutual masturbation with his love on a call might not be the same as having you there with him, but he hopes you two can make up for it big time when you're back in the house~

Beel

Beel jacks off more than you'd think, he's got a ton of testosterone flowing through him after all. He just does it in the shower. Even if he's alone in his room he still feels weird about jacking off in there since he shares it, so the shower is perfect for him. He can have his privacy and even better, he doesn't have to clean up afterwards.

He's pretty normal with it, putting his back against the cool tile and letting the water rush over him as he strokes himself. He tries to go slow and savor the feeling at first, but he can't help speeding up, letting his heavy balls smack against his thighs. If he's feeling particularly adventurous that day, he might even bring one hand up to his big chest and give nis nipples some love.

Belphie

Not too surprising, Belphie's very lazy when it comes to masturbation. He doesn't tend to tease or draw it out longer than he needs to, unless he's insanely horny or with you, he just does it to get it over with.

However... he does tend to accidentally edge himself a lot. He'll be in bed, pillow between his legs and poor guy will fall asleep halfway through, which leads to him having a sexy dream and waking up horny again, so on and so forth.

Speaking of pillow humping, that's one of his favorites, he doesn't even have to take off his pants. When he does take the time to touch his cock, he can be kinda fast with it, not savoring the pleasure too much. He just the type of guy to both want to share moments like this with his beloved, and also get his annoying boner out of the way.

Any sex toys he has are gifts from Asmo or you, vibrators are his favorite since he doesn't have to do anything other than turn it on. Though maybe there's been a time or two where he's had a vibe pressed against his prostate at a low rumble and fell asleep like that, woke up to quite the mess.

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me x reader

[laurashapiro-noreally]

Looking for something to read?

Oh look, it's another recs post! This time I'm featuring two stories per author. These are writers I always make time for, whose work stands out as unusually hot, clever, funny, or smart -- sometimes all of the above.

I'm gonna start you out strong with two by @werpiper: After Hours takes Aziraphale and Crowley to the baths after their oyster supper, and all sorts of interesting pleasures are there for our angel to sample. Piper's Crowley is one of my favorites: always evaluating the situation, not quite aware of what his own heart is doing but feeling it anyway.

Fitting In is a new story, still a WIP, but I am utterly tantalized by Muriel's first taste of love -- and tea. This is already rich in detail, soft and fragrant, and I can hardly wait for the action to get going in earnest. The pairing seems surprising but when you think about it for ten seconds of course it makes sense. Sex workers help the curious, the awkward, and the inexperienced every day, bless them.

If you enjoy these, check out @werpiper's back catalog -- they have done a ton of ineffables-through-the-ages, and their series Miracles and Heresy is worth many delightful hours of your time.

I love what @copperplatebeech has been doing lately:

He's Not My Friend is a T-rated story that explores Aziraphale's constant refusal to acknowledge his relationship with Crowley, and Crowley's mirror of that, and how things glacially shift over time. It is subtle and yet specific, it will make you ache and smile.

All Of The Above, also T-rated, is a warm and fuzzy alternative to that, a hilarious celebration of true friendship that made me laugh out loud and still got me right in the feels.

@copperplatebeech can do everything, from quiet, gentle, and romantic to devastating plotty AUs to extraordinarily horny established relationship to absolutely ridiculous humor. Do dive in if you haven't already.

Next up, @cumaeansibyl, master of kink:

better living through technology manages to shove everything I want in a dirty story into less than three thousand words: uptight Aziraphale reduced to sodden wreck, Crowley gleefully showing him what he's been missing, character-driven erotics, and exceptionally funny dialogue.

indulgentiam peccatorum nostrorum is somehow all that and more, turning the "I was wrong" dance into a kink (something I can't get enough of, recs welcome). This one is post-Bastille so it is extra-juicy. Mind the tags!

@cumaeansibyl has a gift for established relationship one-shots, which readers of mine will know are my entire jam. They also have a mind-meltingly hot inverse!omens AU that features different variations of angelic/demonic Crowleys and Aziraphales for our ineffables to play with.

A new-to-me author, Calico, has me hanging by a thread with their Ineffable Romans series. If you want to remember that your ineffables aren't human, that they are inordinately clever but very stupid, that the feelings they have for each other are truly beyond what anyone alive has ever felt, Calico may be the writer for you. This stuff is deep. Also hot af.

Sub Rosa reads like a nasty shag at Petronius', but there's so much more going on here. It is Extremely Queer, driven by power dynamics, and Crowley is fully demonic here and absolutely in control...or is he?

The Intemperance of Liber Pater continues on this theme, with dialogue-driven smut that reads less like a seduction than an inevitability. There's another story in this series, unfinished, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Last but not least: two short pieces by @ineffabildaddy. I stumbled on their stories just this week and I absolutely love their approach, which I've not seen done quite this way before.

take me as your wife has a tight first-person perspective as Crowley meets Aziraphale for a meal and imagines (or is it his imagination?) that Aziraphale is suggesting Certain Things about how they might occupy themselves later. Indeed, is he suggesting even more? Something about their relationship? Or is it all in Crowley's head?

Only in Dreams is kind of a companion piece, from Aziraphale's point of view -- though hundreds of years later. This one's set after the events of S2 and although just as romantic as take me as your wife, it also offers an ineffable take on the ol' glory hole concept. Just in case you thought I was getting soft. 😏

@ineffabildaddy has a whole series of poems and ficlets like these and I can't wait to explore them all.

#good omens #fic recs #good omens fic recs #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #smut #fanfiction #fanfic #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #rare pair #muriel

[milkweedman]

Supported Spindles: A Beginner's Jumping Off Point

I'm trying to put together an easy mostly-video post of how to learn supported spinning for my partner, but of course am publishing it for everyone. It's starting from the context of having some drop spindle experience, so that's what I'm assuming for the purpose of this short guide. I'm including some text information for easier referencing as well.

First--you might ask "Why spin supported at all?" That's a fair question. It's not the tool for everybody, but it fills some niches that drop spindles (and any other tool) don't, so it may be what you're looking for without you even knowing it. If you're not familiar with the wide variety of spinning tools and methods that exist, you probably don't know a ton about supported spindles. They can have many shapes and sizes, but the one thing they all have in common is that they must be in a bowl (or a spinning spoon, or some other similar curved, smooth item) to spin.

Each method and tool of spinning is suited to one thing or another, and supported spinning is suited to the following:

1) thinner yarns. While it's entirely possible to spin fine yarns on drop spindles, wheels, or what have you, supported spindles are MADE for fine spinning, and largely cannot deal with spinning thicker yarns. This makes supported spinning great for people who want to spin for 3 or 4 ply sock yarns, lace (normal lace but also the truly fine lace like wedding ring shawls), etc. However, even if you don't tend to use thin yarns, there are larger supported spindles that can handle a thicker single, so the boundaries can vary a lot.

2) sitting down and/or being stationary. drop spindles are notable for being able to be used while walking or otherwise on the go, but supported spindles, since they must be in a bowl, are best used sitting, laying, or standing at a counter. I have read about them used walking via a spinning spoon tucked into the belt, but cannot attest to how practical that is myself. This makes supported spinning great for car/train/bus rides, waiting in line, watching tv, laying in bed, or anything like that.

3) small spaces. The most ergonomic way to spin supported is sitting comfortably cross legged or in a chair, with your elbows tucked in and your hands up. Your spinning is contained entirely to your lap, and (depending on your spinning style) you don't need to extend your arms out or do anything fancy. I've spun supported on a very cramped train without bothering the stranger sitting next to me all that much, which I've never been able to do with a drop spindle. For me this makes it much more suitable for public transit than drop spindles, but I think that comes down to how you use each tool rather than the tool itself.

4) low energy. Supported spinning doesn't take much energy, because you are doing very little moving (mostly your hands and forearms). It can be a great activity for when you're sick, or before bed when winding down. It's also worth trying if chronic illness or disability is stopping you from spinning on your other tools--I had to give up the drop spindle as my primary spinning tool because my shoulders are wrecked, and I can only treadle a spinning wheel on good days, but I can usually spin supported no matter what. (If supported isn't accessible for you, an espinner is your next best bet).

5) cool sound. Can't overstate this one. A wooden spindle in a wooden bowl sounds so good. Skip the metal or ball bearing tip if you want to hear it.

Without further ado, here's some videos I've compiled that covered things I thought were helpful. As a disclaimer, I seem to learn exclusively by doing things myself, so if these videos don't work for you, try looking up "supported spinning for beginner" or something similar. There are a lot of videos, and almost every single one has a different technique. Anyway, best first:

Video: Supported Spinning Tutorial by Lori Rhone (link)

Key things from this video:

get used to flicking the spindle without any fiber (just as you should with any spinning tool). try forming an O with your fingers to trap the spindle tip so it has something to fall against, flick as close to the tip as you can manage, etc.

they show a good variety of spinning bowls, especially objects that aren't intended to be spinning bowls (salt cellars, egg bowls, etc). if your spindle spins well in it, it's a spinning bowl. try out lots of stuff if you're having trouble finding a good one.

good posture and positioning--stay comfortable and keep your arms close to you, try to stop yourself from doing weird contortions, etc.

they discuss the importance of building a balanced cop, and show on another spindle how the cop they built maintains the general shape of the empty spindle. this isn't necessary, but it's good practice and certainly good to keep in mind. with drop spindles the added weight of the yarn is usually what determines a full spindle first, but with supported spindles the shape and size of the cop (or your own patience for spinning endless fine yarn) can be what does it instead.

+++

Video: The Basics of Supported Spindle by Amy King (link)

Key things from this video:

the variety of different shapes of supported spindles (there are even more shapes than what they've shown as well)

that you need to pair spindles and bowls--they don't all work with each other equally well or at all (purple--don't worry, I tested the spindle with the bowl I sent you, they like each other)

another method to park and draft on supported spindles, which is essentially the same as on drop spindles

their sweater is fantastic

+++

Video: Supported Spindles--a few tips for beginners by Nikolai Meriadoc (link)

Key things from this video:

if you have a good bowl to spin in but it's unstable, try putting it in another bowl or nestled in a blanket or something else. this can stabilize it a lot.

pre-drafting very finely can help. i forgot to go into it in the video but multiple passes where you go finer each time is usually the way to go if starting from roving or another commercial prep, in my opinion. you could also diz your fiber if you're going for a more worsted prep.

picking a fine fiber like merino, bfl, rambouillet, etc. can help you draft finer as well.

the angle at which you hold your fiber/yarn is important. it should be almost vertical while spinning, and horizontal while winding on.

+++

Hopefully that can get you all started ! There are also articles on the subject although I didn't include any as they weren't relevant for who I'm making this for, so be sure to look into them if that's something that would be helpful for you.

And remember:

This post isn't for radfems. It was made by and for trans people who love men <3

#supported spindle #supported spinning #handspun yarn #spinning

[hockeyboysimagines]

F*ck me like I’m famous

Chapter 4

Warnings: Sex, implied sex, talks of sex, alcohol, language.

Hello friends! Here is chapter 4. Sorry for the delay. As I said in the chapter I just posted for Sway I’ve had a ton going on. Hope this is worth the wait!

Enjoy🤍

“Hey Josie.” Vince called from his living room “Are you ready? We have to leave like…10 minutes ago.”

“Yeah I’m coming!” She called.

“You did that last night already!”

“Vince!” She yelled from the bathroom.

He giggled and stuffed his feet into shoes, grabbing his keys from the table next to the door. He was having the time of his life.

She had made good on the phone sex and dirty texting multiple times over last night, until the early hours, which was part of why they were running late today. He also might have caused a distraction in the shower, but that was a minor detail.

He had some autograph signing thing that would kickstart the celebrations for the week, and he was planning to meet up with friends for drinks later on. He was so excited to show her off to everyone, if they ever got there.

He heard her shuffling and then coming down the steps and turned the corner.

He paused and smiled “Damn.” He said giving her an appreciative once over “You look hot.”

“Really?!” She asked brightly, glancing down at her dress “It’s not too dressy or boring?”

It was pale green, falling mid thigh, with a floral pattern on it, paired with black wedges. Her long hair was loose and wavy, and he almost considered taking her right back upstairs. But then he remembered this week was not only about him, but the community as well.

“Not at all. Oof. You’re in for it later.”

She blushed and waved him off, taking his extended hand and they made their way to the car. The sun was shining down on them, a beautiful perfect day to start a beautiful perfect week.

“Where are we going exactly?” She asked from the passenger seat, turning to put her purse in the back. He smiled a little at how comfortable and natural she looked in his passenger seat before he answered.

“I have an autograph signing.” He said, turning the key in the ignition and backing out of his driveway.

“Ooooooh. An autograph signing? Fancy.” She said side eyeing him “How many body parts do you think you’ll sign?”

He rolled his eyes and nudged his chin at her “I can think of one I’d like to sign later.”

“No I don’t think so. The pen is way too big.”

He burst out laughing and shook his head “Okay you win. So how was your first official day in Canada?”

“It was good. I spent most of it with this hot guy.”

“And how was your first official night in Canada?”

“Average.”

He gasped and reached over grabbing her thigh and squeezing it. She screamed and slapped his arm “I’m kidding! I’m kidding sheesh.”

“Okay so let’s try that again.”

“My first official night in Canada was amazing.”

“Better. Just means I’m gonna have to one up myself tonight.”

She chuckled and watched the Canadian countryside zoom past outside. She was having so much fun and it hadn’t even been 24 hours yet. Being here, although in a country she’d never been to with people she didn’t know, felt so normal, like she’d been here before. She wasn’t nervous, or awkward or anything like that. She felt at peace.

It was so nice.

“So when does the cup actually get here?”

“Friday. That’s when the fun begins.” He waggled his eyebrows “And there’s a ton happening that day. Are you excited?”

“Me? Are you excited? It’s your big day.”

Josie didn’t know Vince when he won the cup. She hadn’t seen the game, watched the moment, or even knew anything about how he and the team had gotten to that point. But what she did know was that if anyone deserved this week, it was him.

“Of course im excited, but i want you to be having fun too.”

“I’m just happy to be here and watch you do your thing.” She said, smiling widely and reaching forward to squeeze his hand.

Josie spent most of the signing hanging out behind him with his mom. She’d been friendly the day before, but she could tell her guard had been up and with good reason. Vince was a highly successful professional athlete, who had a lot at stake in life. She didn’t blame his mom for being wary at first.

But now she had truly warmed up and they were talking and laughing like old friends.

“What are you telling her back there, because whatever it is you can be sure it’s a lie.” He called over his shoulder.

“Most of it sounds pretty on brand.” Josie said smiling at him “So I’m inclined to believe her.”

He made a face and turned back around, but the thought of her being close with his mom brought a small smile to his face that stayed there the rest of the afternoon.

As the line wound down, and the last few pictures had been taken Vince turned to her and waved her forward. When she reached him he gestured to a lady he’d been talking with.

“Josie, this is my mom’s friend, Sheri.”

Josie reached forward to shake her extended hand “Hello. Nice to meet you.”

“And this is your-?” Sheri asked, looked at Vince expectantly as she let go of Josie’s hand.

“This is my girlfriend.” He said simply with a smile, hand on the small of her back as he gave her a gentle push forward so she could shake the woman hand.

Girlfriend.

GIRLFRIEND.

The word made Josie want to jump for joy, scream, ugly cry and kiss his socks right off but then she remembered they were in public so she just smiled, feeling a redness come to her cheeks. They chatted with for a minute when Vince’s mom called her name and Sheri walked away.

Josie turned slowly to look at him “Girlfriend?” She asked quietly.

“Is that okay? I didn’t really know what else to call this.” He gave a small laugh.

“I mean-yeah. It’s okay.”

“I really wanna kiss you, but we’ve already been on the cover of one newspaper.”

She giggled and smiled at him “You can make it up to me later.” She waggled her eyebrows and he gave her waist a small squeeze.

**********

“So you’re here with Vince?”

Josie turned to find a dark haired girl standing next to her and frowned a little, leaning away from her.

The day had gone great. Better than great. She’d had so much fun watching him do his thing and interact with members of his community. She’d also really enjoyed being introduced as his girlfriend.

They’d met up with a few friends of his that she hadn’t met yet for drinks at what Vince called “The best bar in Lindsey” and it was still great.

“Uh, yeah?” She looked across the bar at Vince, but he was absorbed in a conversation and didn’t seem to notice. She looked back at the girl who was staring at her, one hand braced on the bar top.

“You must be his new fling of the week.” She said off handedly, glancing at her and then over her shoulder where he was standing.

Josie felt a twinge of annoyance. She wasn’t a confrontational person, and the last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene in front of his friends in a country she was visiting, but she wanted nothing more than to back hand her. The smug smile on her face had sparked an irrational rage that Josie wasn’t sure she’d even had in her before today.

“What are you talking about?” The question came out more rude than she’d anticipated but it didn’t seem to phase whatever her name was.

“This week it’s you, last week it was someone else, and next week it’ll be- hi Vince.”

Josie looked behind her to find Vince was there, frowning at the girl she was about to beat up.

“I was just talking to your new girlfriend of the week here and I-“

“Yeah well stop talking to her.” He turned Josie abruptly, and steered her across the room and out the front door of the bar.

She waited until they were some feet away until she said very quietly “Who was that?”

“Just a girl I know is all.”

She stopped walking, which caused him to stop and she crossed her arms, head turned to the side “Wanna try that again? But with an actual answer this time.”

He sighed “I hung out with her one time at a party last summer. Nothing happened, she wanted more and I just didn’t see her that way and she’s been dragging my name through the mud since then. She does this every time she sees me out with anyone.”

“I see. She said there was another me last week? Is that true?”

Vince’s mouth fell open and he looked back at the bar in outrage before he turned back to her “She said that? Josie I swear, I haven’t been with anyone else since I met you. I can’t believe-“

“If you have been it’s okay. I wasn’t your girlfriend so I can’t really get mad.”

It was true. She hadn’t been his girlfriend last week so he was able to do whatever he wanted. But it didn’t mean it would hurt any less if he had.

“I swear to you. I am not talking or hooking up with anyone else. And fuck her for saying that to you.” He gripped her hand “You believe me right?”

She stared at him for a few minutes. She did, she didn’t think he’d fly her out here if he was hooking up with girls at home, but her guard with him was up a little for the first time. It had definitely brought down her mood, and made her feel a little bit weird about the whole thing.

“Josie?”

“I-I believe you. But why would she say that?”

“You don’t believe me I can see it all over your face. She’s jealous obviously.”

“Jealous of who? Me?”

He rolled his eyes “Of COURSE she’s jealous of you. Your beautiful and smart, and your here with me and she isn’t.”

She shrugged and looked at his hand, which was still holding hers. He gave it a squeeze.

“I promise you. There’s no one else.”

Josie pursed her lips and looked at him “Okay. I believe you.”

He glanced over her head and then around the street. It was empty and then he smiled.

“Come on.”

“Where are we going?” She asked as he tugged her along by the hand.

“You’ll see.”

Before she even knew what was going on they were tangled up in the driver seat, attached at the lips.

“Oh my god this is so risky.” Josie breathed out as Vince stuffed his hands underneath her shirt, hands sending goosebumps across her skin.

The car was cold, but they had fogged the windows up in less than two minutes. Their make out in the bar had now spilled into the front seat of the car.

“Shhh it’s fine just kiss me.” He said quietly, pulling her down to his level and pushing his tongue in her mouth. He had a hand on either side of her hips, fingers brushing her bare legs until he had her skirt pushed completely up.

He reached down, fumbling around on the side of the seat looking for the lever to move the seat back, and finally found it, yanking on it a little too hard because it sent both of them flying backwards with a squeal, followed by laughter.

“Jesus Christ.” He mumbled against her neck pulling on it again and lurching them forward. Josie was crying with laughter until he gave a large push and they flew forward, Vince’s elbow hitting the steering wheel, horn blaring.

They both jumped expecting it to stop but it didn’t.

“What the fuck?!” He looked around her, smacking the horn several times, the loud sound cutting through the night. Josie felt her face burn for the amount of embarrassment she was about to feel when someone came over to investigate why the horn in the car was sticking, and found them both in the drivers seat, half dressed.

He finally punched it and it stopped, and he glanced up at her before resting his forehead against her chest.

“This just isn’t meant to be.” He picked up his phone and checked the time “But I can have us home in 10 minutes.”

*********

The rest of the week in Lindsay passed by slow enough to enjoy it, but too fast for it to be over. Every morning she woke up she got a little more sad. She was having so much fun and by Thursday evening she only had 3 days left and it had begun to weigh on her. She never wanted this trip to end, and as it inched closer to Sunday she was reminded that she would be going home alone.

“What’s wrong?” Vince asked as she plugged in her phone and laid next to him.

She glanced up “What? Oh nothing.”

“Liar.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed “Nothings wrong. Just bummed that I have to go back to St.Louis soon is all.”

“Yeah.” He nodded and sighed “Me too. But let’s just enjoy our last three days together, and then we’ll go from there.”

She frowned “What’s that mean?”

He pursed his lips and turned on his side to face her “Well. I was going to suggest maybe we take a trip, a vacation if you wanna call it that, before camp starts in September. If you can get off of work and everything.”

“A trip? Where?”

“To a place where all you have to wear is a bikini.”

“Vince!”

“What?” He said innocently, letting one hand trail up her bare leg “Can’t a guy have dirty thoughts about his girl in a bathing suit.”

A slow smile spread across her face until it was so wide her face might crack “What did you call me?”

“My girl.”

She wanted to kick her feet and squeal “I like that. Being your girl.” She ran her fingers through his hair, nails scratching his scalp. He leaned up to move his lips across her jaw until he reached her mouth, hand traveling up her thigh to the band of her underwear on her inner leg.

He was slotted between her legs, pelvis grinding up against hers as he kissed her slowly. He floated a hand up her shirt, resting it on her waist.

Before she knew it her shirt was gone and he was unhooking her bra big hands roaming everywhere. Every nerve ending in her body was a live wire, as his lips left hers and moved down her jaw towards her neck. She tugged at his shirt, prompting him to reach behind his head and pull it off in one quick movement.

She marveled at him as he hovered above her. Everything about Vince was thick, broad and muscled. Her hands roamed from his lower back up to his chest, scratching her fingernails across his skin. His mouth crushed hers, hurriedly kicking his boxers down his legs and tossing them aside.

She was shaking underneath him, cheeks red, goosebumps across her skin as she took a page breath in, the bones of her ribcage rippling underneath her skin. He stopped for a minute to really look at her.

“Goddamn your beautiful.” He whispered, eyes never leaving hers. Her blush deepened but she just pulled him back down by the chain to kiss him. Slower this time, her fingers moving down his back, nails scratching his skin, causing him to shiver. He sat back, hooking a finger on either side of her underwear and pulled them down her legs, leaning back over her and pushed a finger inside her causing her to gasp.

“That’s the prettiest noise I’ve ever heard.” He pushed another finger inside, moving them in and out, hooking them ever so slightly as he kissed her. She gripped the sheets, balling her hands into fists.

His lips brushed over her neck, eyes flicking up to meet hers as he pulled his fingers out, moving up her body and bracing himself between her legs.

“Tell me what you want.” She reached down, guiding him towards her. His head tipped down, stray hair falling into his eyes. She pushed it out of the way and bucked her hips up to meet his. She closed her eyes dreamily as he slowly pushed inside her, body arching up to meet his. He was so big, so broad as he moved above her, finding her mouth and kissing her slowly, methodically.

Vince splayed a hand across her ribcage and pulled her right leg up over his hip, lifting her clear off the bed. She let out a moan as he pushed deeper than before, hitting a new spot that had never been hit before.

“Vince I-“

He let out a breath, abdominal muscles tightening as he pushed faster, leaning down to kiss her desperately as he did. Her heart felt like it was about to explode out of her chest as a crippling, toe curling orgasm made its way through her body, sending shockwaves from her head to her feet, her entire body flooding with heat. She felt like she couldn’t breath as Vince gave his last few pushes with a groan and leaned down, head resting in her neck. His breath tickled her skin and she could feel his heart beating through his skin. He pulled out and laid next to her, chest rising and falling as he tried to slow his breathing, and he turned to smile at her.

“Your amazing and I-“ He stopped and cleared his throat “And your amazing.”

He’d almost said something crazy, but she thankfully hadn’t seemed to notice as she began to rummage around for her shirt and slipped it over her head before collapsing next to him. She rolled on to her side, eyes closing sleepily and hooked one of her legs with his, and promptly fell asleep.

**********

The cup arrived early the next day, and Vince had jumped out of bed like the house was on fire. He was showered, dressed and putting on his shoes by the time she had come out of the bathroom to get dressed.

“How fancy is this anyways?” She asked rummaging through her suitcase “Like should I wear a dress or pants or-?”

“Whatever you wear will be hot, but I like that one.” He was pointing at a yellow dress she had hung over the back of a chair in the corner of his room. She’d bought it and never worn it, tags still hung from the arm of it. She smiled.

“Perfect.”

There was already an entourage outside when they left the house, many friends and family had gathered in his driveway to watch the cup be handed to him. Even though Josie had no idea what was going on she was still excited to watch him pick up the cup. She googled it the night before and apparently within the hockey community it was a huge deal, so because it was big to Vince, it was to her. He gave her hand a squeeze before he released it and made his way over to the keeper of the cup to shake their hands. His mom spotted her and made her way over.

“You look nice.” She said commenting on her dress.

Josie looked down “Thanks. Vince picked it.”

“Well he did a great job. It’s so special you’re here with him for this, it’s his greatest achievement.”

“I didn’t know him then, but if it’s important to him it’s important to me.”

She smiled at her and gave a small laugh “You are important to him. I hope you know that. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.”

Josie smiled and looked back at Vince as he picked up the cup and lifted it over his head and cheers erupted around him.

It was going to be a great day.

#vince dunn #hockey fanfiction #hockey tumblr #hockeyblr #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #hockey fic #hockey imagine #hockey smut #hockey romance #hockey fandom #hockey writing #hockey tag #hockey blurb #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl writing #nhl oneshot #nhl smut #nhl players #nhl #vince dunn smut #Vince Dunn imagine #vince dunn fic #nhl blurb #nhl x reader #hockey x reader #nhl fluff #nhl rpf #nhl x oc

[ktempestbradford]

Ancient Egypt and Ostrich Feathers

Have a question for the Egyptologists and knowledgeable fans of Ancient Egypt about ostrich feathers.

(btw is there an Egyptologist Tumblr community? I follow @thatlittleegyptologist but don't know of any other accounts. HMU!)

When I was in Egypt last month I went to the Grand Egyptian Museum to take the very limited tour of the atrium they offer now. It... wasn't worth the money. Anywho, our tour guide did his best to make it seem valuable by talking a LOT about each thing he showed us.

Next to the colossal statue of Ramses II that dominates the atrium there's a table showing the emblems of royal iconography. The sun disk, the nemes headdress, cow horns, and a feather. He asks us if we know what that last one is and I or someone says it's the feather of Ma'at. Correct! Do we know what bird it comes from? The ostrich, someone else says. Why did they choose ostrich feathers for Ma'at and also certain crowns?

On this trip I had gone to the Nubian museum and thus had just seen several pieces of art from pre-historical peoples that utilized ostrich eggs, including a famous one that had three pyramids etched into it along with some animals. So I said something like: The ostrich has been an important animal even before the pharaohs. They relied on it for food and made art with the eggs. The tour guide (Mark) said: That's an awfully materialistic view. No, that's not why.

Now... I know I'm not an expert even though I know a lot about ancient Egypt. But "a materialistic view"? Like somehow it's not enough that ostriches provided food and probably were used in other, important ways? Why do you think Hathor is represented as a cow and there are cow horns incorporated in crowns? Because they look cool? wtf?

Mark then goes on to tell this story. Back in the dawn of civilization in Egypt the Egyptian man didn't have much to do during the day. (eyebrow raise) So he started collecting feathers from all the birds that flew above him in the sky. (...um... wait...) He would collect and then count the barbules and do you know what he discovered? Only the ostrich had the same number of them on both sides. That's why this is the feather of balance and justice.

Friends. I have never wanted to scream SHENANIGANS or at least CITE YOUR SOURCES so much in my life. Like... what?

Leaving aside the implication that ostriches were somehow flying above ancient Egyptians or that there was some point where men didn't have a dang thing to do all day but count the little hairs on feathers, I feel like this explanation is complete hooey. I mean, it could be that all or some of an ostrich's feathers have the same amount of barbules on either side of the middle bit. You might even be able to convince me that this isn't true for any other bird that someone from the Nile valley 6,000+ years ago had access to. But I'm going to need a ton of supporting evidence that this is the sole reason why the feather of Ma'at is an ostrich feather and not for the "materialistic" reasons I cited.

Also, I'm sorry, but I'm real sure predynastic Nile valley dwellers were far more concerned about food and shelter than coming up with complex reasons for using a certain kind of feather to represent a metaphysical thing.

However, I could be wrong! So I'm asking: is there evidence for Mark's version of events? Is this, you know, written somewhere in a papyrus or on a temple wall or another place? I would honestly love to read any papers on this subject, whatever the background on it.

As to the Grand Egyptian Museum, I really hope that whoever they hire to give tours when the whole thing opens are better at this than Mark. I wasn't impressed with his tour overall and eventually gave up listening to him once I saw that there was a gelato place open for business inside.

#Egyptology #Egyptologists #Calling for Egyptologists! #Egypt #Ancient Egypt #I need to know if Mark is right #okay kay what I really want to know is that mark is wrong

[theprinceofliones]

Omg your headcanon for Lancelot are great! I also got a headcanon for Lancelot....😗....he likes kissing Percival on his forehead when nobody is looking...😚🤭 got some more headcanons for Lancelot or any other character?

Aww thank you hun!!! And yes! I have a ton of more headcanons for other characters! Mainly for Meliodas, Ban, Elizabeth, and Elaine hehe

One more Lancelot headcanon tho that I forgot to mention, something that's kind of au-like but, since he was stuck with the Lady of the Lake for so long, he considers her like a mother almost. She was the one who was with him the entire time he was stuck wherever he was. Of course, had Master Jericho, but Lady of the Lake, /Mother/, was by his side, in his mind, whispering words of comfort in his ear and running her hidden fingers through his hair when he needed reassuring. She was a rock he didn't know he needed. But, she's also the reason for everything he hates about himself. It's why he avoids Benwick, why he doesn't come home. He can't face his mother---his /real/ mother, how could he, when he replaced her so easily?

Very much Stockholm syndromey for sure with the whole Lady of the Lake situation. He feels like he needs her even though she was the one keeping him trapped. He needs her like he needs a limb, but at the same time, he feels like he could make do with never seeing her again because he hates her for taking away those years he could've had with his parents, his uncles, his aunties, with /Tristan/---

But, that's a story for another day...

MELIODAS HEADCANONS HEHEHEHE

Meliodas is a VERY overprotective father. It might not seem like it at first, but he's extremely careful and watchful of his son. That's his baby. The one thing he's been waiting for for nearly three thousand years, the thing that brings him and Elizabeth eternal joy and happiness, the one thing that makes all of their suffering worth it.

When Tristan is born, Meliodas is like "dude I hit the jackpot first TRY" because holy shit THAT'S ELIZABETH REBORN...AGAIN! It's why they stopped at one---they don't need to try again bECAUSE HE ALREADY WON AHAHAHA

(Ban and Meliodas are like sobbing for joy together because they BOTH won man. Sons that look just like their mothers first, TRY. A millennia in purgatory was all worth it for THEM)

He's TERRIFIED of the thought of Tristan training with real weapons when he's a toddler though. Elizabeth is all for it, saying that he'd be fine and they'd be right there if anything happened. She was always willing to let Tristan have the freedom they never did---but Meliodas was biting his knuckles bloody because what if his little boy gets HURT??? Goddess healing or not, his precious boy would still be in pain!!!

Like I said, VERRYYYY overprotective but slowly tries to learn to let go and let his son be his own, although as Tristan grows up, he mistakes his father's overprotectiveness for disappointment and doubt in his own child. But, Tristan couldn't be more wrong...

Hehe onto Elizabeth!

She is a boy mom. A boy. Mom. Not them toxic boy moms, a BOY MOM. She dresses her son up in pretty little outfits when he's a newborn through his toddler ages, almost like a cute tiny doll. He has two entire wardrobes filled with frilly dresses and adorable little fluffy blouses by the time he's four. She braids his hair, lets it grow long and longer still. Ties his silver locks into ponytails, or buns, and even puts little accessories on his head here and there. Tristan surprises her with how much he seems to love it---or maybe it's because his mother's attention is solely focused on him.

SHE IS THE QUEEN OF BRITANNIA! I'm sorry but making Meliodas King makes absolutely no sense to me...probably bc I'm a hardcore ASOIAF fan so seeing a daughter who is technically in line for throne get cast aside by a random male protagonist with no claim whatsoever makes me lose my mind lmfao. BUT SHE IS THE QUEEN! She handles diplomatic and domestic issues all throughout the kingdom meanwhile Meliodas is in charge of the military, trade routes, training Holy Knights, and other little things that the Queen doesn't need to be involved with.

She acts more like the Elizabeth we meet at the beginning of the series, a little more reserved and a little shyer but she will stand her ground and be the Queen her kingdom needs when the time calls for it.

Nakaba, I like you sometimes and all, but that god awful, horrible, eye traumatizing DRESS you put that beautiful woman in is a crime against women. I WON'T STAND FOR IT! Elizabeth wears the most REGAL ELEGANT gowns. Thinking more of victorian and medieval fashion slapped together with some Targaryen fashion sprinkled in as well. She WILL be dressed beautifully with a silver band that wraps around her head with little jewels and crystals hanging from it. Meliodas has a gold band with a single gem, indicating his status as the Prince-Consort to the Queen, and then Tristan has a silver band like his mother with sapphires and pearls, indicating HIS status as the Crown Prince of Britannia and biological relation to the Queen of Britannia.

Oh, final thing. BAN, MELIODAS, ELIZABETH, AND ELAINE HAVE ALL HAD A FOURSOME AT LEAST ONCE I DON'T MAKE THE RULES I'M MERELY A PAWN IN NAKABA'S GAME

okay okay I'm so sorry I went on a tangent BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED! I love answering asks so keep them coming! Feel free to ask about Half Light as well! I'd love to chat about it!

#nanatsu no taizai #mokushiroku no yonkishi #the seven deadly sins #the four knights of the apocalypse #tristan liones #meliodas #elizabeth liones #4kota #lancelot #ban the undead #ban nnt #elaine #nnt meliodas #nnt manga #nnt #meliodas nnt

[agoofyannoyancetolaw]

appreciation post!

I simply wanted to thank all of you, followers and mutuals- I really didn’t expect my writing to go anywhere on an website like this with thousands upon thousands of posts. It means so much to me to see every like and follow and post or @, and I am so glad I’ll have this new year to post and grow even more!

So I’ll take up this post thanking people!!

★@rodolfoparras

even when I was an anon you were so polite and kind to me! I’m always so inspired by your writing and I’m genuinely sure that you were one of the few reasons I didn’t quit tumblr months ago

★@lieutnt

you were one of the first people I followed on my sfw account and I’ve always been so impressed by your writing and all your ideas! And from that point I managed to to find your mutuals accounts and get the urge to write!

★@gazmialmagemela

your genuinely so sweet 😭, you always reblog my posts and are so fun to talk to (and also totally got me to cut my blonde hair into a Phillip graves haircut)

★@ccreekside

I think the lore and drama you create! Sure it takes up my feed- but is it worth it to smile a ton while reading it? Yes!!! And on top of that your writings always stunning

★@arthurmorgansballsack

I genuinely think your writing is so fun when it comes up on my page 😔, I don’t interact much but it’s always a nice surprise to find your account when scrolling

★@adrawinggnome

your writing is SO TALENTED RAAHHH. You always have the best ideas and do so well with ideas anons send to you! Your dragon reader and dragon price made me so happy!!!

★@fortheb0ys / @fortheb0ys2

I genuinely love your writing and when you interact! Also I remember stumbling across your blog and finding your graves theme so funny :)

★@softggh0ul & @s1nfultrash

both of you SCARE ME /pos. It’s odd to see such cool writers and people following me! It’s always so much validation to see ‘——reblogged’ or ‘——- liked’

★@miguel-owhora

I remember when your account disappeared I was SO SCARED! Your writings always been so much inspo for me and I think your theme and just overall personality is so funny! :D

★@bonesnmore

just like you, I’m scared of interacting with my Moots :((, I’ve always found your writing and your silly little green creature so cute and you seem so cool genuinely

★@colt-redfield

we haven’t really interacted because I didn’t follow you till recently, but you seem really talented and I can’t wait to interact with you more!

★@planetrhythm

I’m so sorry I didn’t follow you till now!! I’ve seen your posts and you seem super cool and I simply always forgot to go to your account to follow correctly 😭

★@transi1vanianhunger

I am genuinely so sorry I forgot to do yours! I adore your interesting writing and the music you link and your humor 🫶, I am so sorry that I didn’t remember to add someone as talented as you to this post when I was making it!

★And to all my anons, emoji or not, and followers- the times I see your asks brighten my days so much and I couldn’t get the traction I do without you!!! And to anyone I might have missed, know I am in fact writing this while very very sleepy and eepy :(

#Coyotes_den #non writing post #non writing #not writing post #not writing #happy new year #i can’t wait to keep posting for you all!!

[halfmoth-halfman]

i got an ask about advice for writing when you're discouraged, so i thought i'd make a post addressing some of the points because i think this is something that everyone has gone through and can relate to. most of this is just what's helped me/what i'd tell myself in the past, but if anyone has advice to add on please feel free! i hope this helps at least a little bit, anon!

"I’m not good at (dialogue/atmosphere/prose/etc)."

write it anyways! one of the best ways to build a skill is to keep doing it. even if you don't ever post it, or only share it with a few friends, or just read it to your pets, or whatever you choose to do, it's better to write something "badly" than to not write at all. or even asking for help on how to improve from other writers. i struggle a lot with atmosphere and scenery, and something that helped me a lot was talking to other writers whose fics i really enjoy and inspire me. i know it may seem intimidating, but there are plenty of writers on tumblr that would love to talk about how they compose their scenes, their dialogue, anything and everything if someone asks.

"I can’t make moodboards/headers/aesthetic posts."

the good news is, you don't have to! fics don't have to have anything other than the fic itself. i can't speak for everyone, but while aesthetics may get my attention, it's the person behind the blog that i stay for. if you want your blog or your fics to have a pretty aesthetic, it shouldn't be because you feel forced to but because you want to do it. if you don't find making moodboards or headers or aesthetic posts fun, then you don't have to do them. and if you want to, but don't know how, there are a ton of resources, links, and blogs dedicated to helping on tumblr.

"I’m not at (insert someone else)’s writing level."

and you might never be, and that's okay! every writer is different - they have different styles, write at different paces, perceive their skill differently. basing your progress on someone else's isn't going to help because you're not them. you have your own time, energy, ability, and ideas, you'll grow and improve at your own pace, just like they did. don't force yourself to try and follow the same timeline of someone else, and don't put yourself down because you're getting better - and you are getting better - at your own pace.

"I can’t find the motivation to write."

honestly same. i think it's a pretty universal experience to lose motivation for something you were excited about at one point. sometimes the vibes aren't it and the story doesn't want to story, but that's alright. it can be hard to stay motivated, and what gets someone inspired again is different everyone. i can't give advice for anything outside of what's helped me, but a few ways i've re-motivated myself to write something are: making a fic playlist, stepping away from the fic for a day or two, giving it to a friend to read, re-watching/reading the source material, doodling fic ideas, and skipping to a different part of the story.

"I can’t write fast enough."

unless it's for something like work where you have a fixed deadline, there is no "fast enough" in writing. don't let anyone tell you otherwise. when i first started writing, in the very early days of ao3 and tumblr, fic updates could takes months or even more than a year and that was fine! one of my favorite fics took a six year hiatus, and that didn't diminish any of the enjoyment i had when it came back. you are not a machine, you're a human being with needs outside of writing. it's always okay if you need to take a break, if there's a long wait between chapters, or if you want to stop a project altogether and come back to it six years later. if someone gives you grief because you can't write within their time-frame then they're not worth having as a reader - do not overwork yourself for the sake of finishing a fic.

"It’s hard to stick to one idea at a time."

then don't! write all the ideas. write every single one. working on a project and you have a drabble that you just keep thinking about? write it. you get a sudden idea for a one-shot in a different fandom? write it. woke up in the mood to start a new five-chapter fic? write it. you can start or stop writing about anything at any time. there is no rule that you have to stick to one idea and finish it before you can write anything else, don't make yourself stick to something if it's not what you want to write, and don't punish yourself if you need to take a break from your current project.

"Maybe I’m not made for writing on tumblr."

tumblr is a shitposting website that barely works at the best of times. half of my drafts get deleted every other week for no reason - there is no way to be "made for writing on tumblr"! but tumblr is huge, there's a bajillion communities on here that would be so excited to have another writer, and a ton that are solely dedicated to helping writers and providing different resources. i guarantee there is someone on this website that will love and adore your writing.

"The things I read are better than anything I can write/comparing myself to other writers."

i don't have the cake picture saved, but we all know the gist of it: the audience (generally) isn't going to care about how decorated your cake is compared to another, they're just happy to get two cakes. and that's really all it is. your fic might not be the same preferred flavor as the audience of other writers, but there is someone out there who's going to enjoy it. i won't tell you to just not compare yourself to others, i know that's not how it works, but what has helped me is changing the way i view other fics. instead of thinking "i wish i could write like this person", i look at like "this inspires me to improve my writing". and don't get me wrong, i still have moments of doubt about my writing compared to some of the people i read, i don't think that will ever really stop, but the best thing you can do is not let yourself give in to that feeling. try and stop that train of thought before it leaves the station. no one else can write the way you can. no one else can tell your stories the way you can. no one else has the same voice as you do. if everyone wrote the same way, everything would be boring. the heart of a fic is seeing the author's personality shine through it. if you see someone write a good fic, that doesn't mean yours won't be. you have to give yourself a chance even when you feel like your writing won't be as good as someone else's. you have to bake your cake anyway.

"How do I find joy in something I know I’ll never be good at?"

you won't. full stop. if you keep telling yourself you'll never be good at something, you'll never improve, there's no point in trying, then you'll never enjoy it. i know it's easier said than done, but you have to have some level of confidence in yourself and in your writing. not only will you not enjoy it, other people will see the lack of enjoyment, the "i wrote this and it sucks" comments, the self-degradation, and they won't enjoy it either - no one feels good about a fic the author clearly didn't want to write. and, if you try everything you possibly can and still can't find any joy in writing, then maybe writing isn't the hobby for you. and that's perfectly okay! i tried quilting and glassblowing several times before i realized i just didn't like it the same way i liked writing. you owe it to yourself to find something that's fun, that makes you smile, that you're excited to do. there's a million hobbies out there, i promise you'll find something that brings you joy.

#moth talks #writing advice #long post

[sarah-denial-cq]

It's been a few months, how is Sarah doing? cw SA, addiction, family health issues, bigotry.

Fair warning: this isn't a sexy post. We'll try to get back to those when we can.

So first things first, I went off denial in November, meaning my 2023 denial period was about eight months of edging, teasing, serving, and zero orgasms. I'm really happy about it, it was fun and made me feel good, and I met tons of wonderful people in the community. I don't know when I'll next start medium-term denial again but I hope I get a chance to.

Anyways, I stopped in November because I had just so much going on personally that it was impossible to devote the energy and wound-up tension that denial creates in me to its practice. Work became more and more stressful. I was "promoted" at work, taking on responsibility for over twice as many people and deliverables, and was given no raise and also a new manager between me and my previous manager, who I had to train in addition to my new responsibilities. In addition, a close family member started radiation treatment for cancer. For the first time in my life, I didn't visit my family for the holidays, because political developments have made it unsafe for me to travel to where they live.

And then Megan assaulted me.

I was sharing a hotel bed with her - as friends - and woke up on the last day in the morning feeling her fingers groping me. I didn't know what to do, I froze and kept my eyes closed and waited for my alarm to go off and got up and went to work and then flew home. The next couple days are kind of a blur. I relapsed into a finsub addiction and sent a bunch of money to someone. I think Rose and I might have had sex that next day but I'm kind of not sure. I ended up talking to Megan about it a few days later.

"No, I didn't do that. I wasn't groping you. That didn't happen."

I told Rose about what happened. I was extremely nervous and also felt so stupid because all the tropes around women like me were playing out. I had imagined it. I had done something to lead her on. I was making a huge deal out of some minor petting. I was going to lose a friend over something that wasn't worth losing them over. I was going to blow up Rose's relationship with Megan and she wouldn't get to fuck my hotter friend anymore and it would be. My. Fault.

Eventually, things have cooled off a little. I talked to Rose and we made each other feel better. I talked to Megan and explained that I don't know or care why she thinks it didn't happen, but I think it did, and it can never happen again. Rose is still going to fuck Megan because she's hotter than me. Megan is still going to come stay at my apartment for several days this weekend. I'll probably be kicked out to the guest room while they fuck in the master bedroom.

I'm still struggling with the addiction relapse, and feeling guilty and sad about the really good friendships I made here during denial that I've been too messed up to maintain, and whether I still have value as a girl not in denial. But I trust that things heal with time. And nothing - *nothing* - is going to take away from the fact that Rose is going to *marry me* this year. Even with everything that's happened I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

I'll post some more soon, I hope.

xoxo Sarah

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Liability Part 4; Finale

Pairing: College Student!Rafe Cameron x Cousenlor!Reader

Summary: Rafe wakes up the next morning feeling extremely sorry and awkward, so much that he pulls himself out of his hangover to be on time to his therapy session with the reader. She's pretty shocked to see him but after a cathartic conversation, they talk more over dinner and things take an interesting but well awaited turn.

Warnings: S*M*U*T (fucking finally), swearing, trauma, angst, mentions of drugs and alcohol, MINORS DNI.

Word Count: 7.4k

A/n: I love this chapter. It took me so long to write because IT'S SO LONG and I think it's very much worth the wait. This one is directly dedicated to @tee-swizzle cuz she needs this more than anyone😌

Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3

Rafe, 

I know my couch is uncomfortable. Please don’t make fun of me if you wake up with a ton of pinched nerves and sore muscles. I work at a public college, I don’t get paid enough for a good couch. I also wanna say, please drink water as soon as you get up, I’ll leave a bottle next to you just because I really don’t want to have to clean up a ton of throw up when I get home. 

I’m also gonna go ahead and cancel your appointment this morning with me since I think you’ll probably have a pounding headache and an overwhelming hangover. I don’t want you to feel rushed or like you’re obligated to come, especially with what happened last night. I’ll write it on the report that you’re sick and spiking a fever, no one will ask questions.

Speaking of last night, we should probably never talk about it again if you think that’s for the best. You might not even remember (I hope you do though because that would be really awkward for me to have to explain why I’m so jumpy). I don’t want you to feel embarrassed because I know you were drunk and I don’t want you to feel bad or like you took advantage of me. I don’t regret bringing you home and hearing you out or giving you a place to crash. Please don’t be mad at yourself for being honest with me, I really appreciate that you came clean about some things and I’m hoping that you’ll start to do that more.

You can text me when you’re up, I’ll be back at 2:00. If you wanna stay on the couch all day, that’s okay too. 

I never would’ve thought Rafe would be a snorer. 

When I left this morning, he had an arm draped across his eyes, shielding the sun that was shining through the curtains from his face and his chest was rising and falling in simple breaths. He had shed his shirt in the middle of the night- which was a pleasant shock to wake up to- so the snoring wasn’t the only shock. I was shocked to see his sweaty, glistening chest in the sunlight, strong pectoral muscles twitching with every move of his body and it didn’t take me long to make the connection that he is an athlete and that I shouldn’t have needed the confirmation of seeing him without a shirt to realize that he’s, well, hot. 

It took everything in me to look away from him and pry myself out of my apartment, wanting nothing but to call off and baby him the whole day, ask him questions about his childhood, his mysterious daddy’s girl of a sister, his dad. I also fought the urge to go through his phone and pull out Josh’s number so I could chew his ass out for leaving Rafe in my care.

Or maybe I should be thanking Josh. 

I have no clue if Rafe will actually want to talk about what transpired between us, the way he looked at me- held me- and the way that his lips fit so comfortably against mine. I genuinely thought I was a bad kisser until he pressed his lips against mine and I felt myself giving up complete control, allowing him to guide me and, with the mindset that his control put me in, I would’ve allowed him to guide me all the way to my bed. Or the nearest flat surface. I want to know what he thought about it, what made him actually want to kiss me and if there’s more to our relationship than our professional one, even though that’s sort of a given at this point. 

It was hard to focus on my clients all morning, checking my phone every once in a while to see if Rafe had finally woken up (and didn’t asphyxiate in his sleep) and read my lengthy note but even now, as noon approaches, there’s no messages from him, zero. 

In a small moment of weakness, I decided that I wasn’t going to cancel his appointment, wondering and silently hoping that he would crawl his way to the campus and stumble onto the couch in front of me in time for his meeting but I’m starting to lose hope with every ticking minute of the loud, obnoxious clock behind me. Is this how Rafe always felt waiting for meetings to end?

My phone loudly buzzing beneath me has me jumping, waving one last time to the student leaving my office before immediately checking who the notification is from. A wave of relief washes over me at the realization that Rafe didn’t die of alcohol poisoning in the last few hours and my heart aches as I watch a plethora of messages come through from his end. 

Rafe: I’m so fucking sorry. 

Rafe: Please don’t hate me, I need you to not hate me right now.

Rafe: I’m such a fucking idiot. 

Rafe: I remember everything after we left the bar, but it’s all still foggy.

Rafe: What did I do? Are you okay?

Rafe: I see you reading my messages, please fucking reply. 

My fingers shake as they hover above the screen and I try my best to type out a half-assed reply, knowing it won’t help but it’s all that my brain can piece together right now. I all of a sudden can’t stop thinking about him sitting in my living room, looking at the spot in the floor where he had me pressed against the wall and hands exploring my body. I too can picture him there, laying on my couch, biting at his lip while staring, wide-eyed at the screen in front of him. 

I’m not mad. I don’t hate you. 

I press a hand to my chest, trying to ease the searing pain that sits right where my heart pounds, watching the bubbles appear and disappear on the screen. I can feel my heartbeat in my stomach as I lean back into my chair, attempting to get comfortable and try to calm myself down, telling myself that I’d be okay if all of a sudden he left my life but I’m not so sure I know if that’s true or not.

Rafe: I kissed you. 

“Fuck.” I mutter to myself, looking up from my phone and at the lava lamp in the corner of the room, trying to steady my breathing as I think of something to say, something that’ll be vague enough to dismiss that is happened but that will also give him the clear to talk about it if he wants to. 

I think it was mutual Rafe.

I feel like a middle schooler with the way that I’m giggling to myself, folding my legs underneath me in my chair as I shove my notebook off of my lap, reaching up to rub at my forehead. We could’ve gone on and acted like it never happened, that we didn’t slip into each other last night, almost too far. We would’ve continued our sessions and he would eventually be cleared to move on and never see me again. It could’ve been simple and we could’ve kept it professional.

So what is it about each other that makes it impossible to stay away?

My heart has to be going fast enough to kill me or at least send me into cardiac arrest, chambers pumping way faster than the rest of my body can keep up with and I feel my head wobble on my shoulders, finally resting my head against the wall for a moment with my eyes closed, waiting for the next buzz of my phone which comes shortly after.

Rafe: You kissed me back.

I snort, letting myself type the first thing that comes to mind but before I can, another message comes through that makes me laugh even louder, earning some looks from the students passing by my open door.

Rafe: Enthusiastically.

Mhm. 

I was more than enthusiastic to kiss him, especially once I realized how badly I needed to kiss him once his lips were on mine. It’s amazing that we didn’t fall into each other sooner but maybe there was something deep down in me that realized that there would be no going  back and it’s true. Now that I’ve kissed him- that I’ve tasted him- I never want to know a day where I don’t fall into his arms and give into him. 

It feels like an addiction.  

Rafe: And you’re not mad?

No.

Rafe: Are you just dismissing it because I was drunk and not in my right mind?

I pause, a chill running down my spine as my mind spins, wondering if he’s going to tell me how much he regrets how he got so drunk that he kissed me and how he never would’ve kissed me if he wasn’t so upset and vulnerable. Is this it? Is this the moment where my chest caves in and I have to end our professional agreement because I let a kiss make me feel so attached to him?

Were you not in your right mind?

Rafe: I wasn’t but, even when I’m in my right mind, I think about kissing you.

There it is.

The confirmation that it’s not in my head and that he wanted me as much as he’s always wanted me, alcohol aside. The same thing that brought him to the bar last night, the feeling that made him open up to me in the car ride home and the feeling that finally gave him the guts to kiss me. I could go with it, assuming that he doesn’t regret it and that he’d do it over again the same way if given the opportunity but there’s this annoying, nagging feeling that suffocates me to the brink of typing out my insecure question.

So you don’t regret it?

Rafe: Nope. Do you?

“Fuck, thank god.” I let out a breath of a relief that seems to pull the plug on all of my anxiety, my shoulders rolling as my chest deflates. All of the tension I’ve held onto all morning oozes out of me and I no longer feel the tension sucking the life out of my lungs. 

No. Do you regret telling me things about yourself that you would’ve normally kept to yourself?

I already know that his answer will be something along the lines ‘of course I’m mad at myself but whatever’, knowing that it’s for the best if I have as much information as I can, especially if we’re still on track to getting him help and figuring out what’s made him such a loose canon. If I had any guess, I’d say his dad is the flame and Rafe’s always been the loyal moth who gets burned when he gets too close. But, like anyone who wants validation from their abuser after years of abuse, he’d do anything to impress his father. 

Rafe: I’m a bit mad at myself but the cats out of the bag and I know you’re not gonna let it go.

You know me so well. 

His side goes quiet for a moment, bubbles popping up and disappearing again until everything stops and I huff, a frown tugging on my lips. I expected more banter, more playfulness or teasing about how willing I was last night but based on the desperation hinted in his first few messages to me this morning, his attention must be elsewhere. 

–

A knock on my now closed doors has my eyes flying open, drool on my chin being quickly wiped off and I take a second to look around, realizing I must’ve drifted off for a bit. I stumble up to my feet with a groan, running a hand down my face before opening the door. 

I can barely process Rafe standing in front of me before his arms wrap around my waist, tugging me up and into his arms in a bone crushing hug. My hands hover for a moment over his back, processing the fact that in just a half an hour, he’s here, in front of me, clinging to me like he needs me. 

He needs me.

In seconds of response time, wrap my arms around him tightly, fingers dragging up and down his back as his back rumbles in quiet cries. I try my best to bite back all of the questions- ‘how did you get here’, ‘why are you crying’, ‘what took you so long’- and instead, I press a simple kiss to the side of his head with a pained sigh.

“I needed to see you.” He mutters, head tilting so he can tuck his face in the crook of my neck, breathing me in as I do the same, finally feeling the tips of my toes touch the ground once more. He reaches back to shove the door closed with a loud thud, his hand cupping the back of my neck as I arch my body into his. I can feel his racing heartbeat and how his breathing mellows after a few moments of being in my arms but he doesn’t make any move to let go of me.

“I’m here.” I tremble, feeling his shoulders droop at my confession. He sniffles loudly and his arms finally slack from around my waist, settling me completely on the flat ground and he leans back to look down at me. His cheeks are flushed cutely and his beautiful eyes are lined with tears and an angry shade of red tints the whites of his eyes.

“I’m on time for our appointment. Did you cancel it?” He asks, reaching up to rub at his eyes.

“No, I was hoping you’d still come. Didn’t expect to be swept off my feet though.” I giggle, feeling him let go of me completely before taking a hefty step back, linking his hands in front of him as he awkwardly sways, suddenly recovering from showing such blatant emotion.

“Sorry, I just-”

“No, it’s okay.” I smile as softly as I can, hoping that he won’t take my surprise as disappointment and run out of here as soon as he gets the wrong idea. “Why do you look like you’ve been crying?” I ask softly, sitting down in my chair as he plops down onto the couch with a huff, running his hands along the top of his head with a sad laugh, sniffling loudly as I pass him a box of tissues. I had him in my arms and now he’s feet away from me. Too far from me.

“I was a mess in the taxi on the way here, poor dude didn’t know what the fuck to say to me.” He looks over at the lava lamp briefly and for a second I think he’s going to start crying again just at the realization that it’s lit and shining brightly beside him. Before he can break down again, I call out his name calmly.

“Rafe-”

“I need to talk to you.” He pleads, cutting me off, and his voice hints with a bit of desperation and I can hear that he’s so close to breaking. He looks up at me with a pitiful look that has my heart aching painfully in my chest. “I just need you to listen, no notebook, no snarky comments.”

“Okay.” I nod immediately, leaning back in my chair to get comfortable but he holds a hand up to me, swallowing deeply before a bashful look passes through his expression with a shy smile.

“Another thing-” He sighs, scoffing internally at himself as he scoots over on the couch. “Can you not sit all the way over there?” I can’t fight the excited beat of my heart as I think about being so close to him again, my body heating up and my thoughts running painfully fast but in all the best ways.

“Off the record talk?” I ask with a teasing grin.

“God, please just get over here.” He begs, and my body lifts immediately to step around the table that was separating us, lowering myself down beside him. I gulp at the way that his arm extends on the back of the couch beside me and I instantly turn my body and curl my knees up to my chest so I can face him.  “I don’t really know where the fuck to start.” He rubs a hand over his face and, to help, I reach out to place my small hand on his bicep, capturing his attention and seemingly calming him down.

He takes a deep breath before speaking.

 “When I was 10 my doctor thought I had bipolar or BPD or some shit. When they talked to my dad, he shut them down because he didn’t want them to know that the most well known guy in our town was actually beating the shit out of his eldest kid.” I can already feel the bile rising in my throat and I can tell that this talk isn’t going to be easy on Rafe but it’s also going to be nearly impossible for me to hear about him being hurt for so many years on end without any help or advocacy. “I knew that there was something wrong with me, Rose made snarky comments about it all the time, I asked my dad for help a lot- I told him that something wasn’t right. I was just so fucking angry all the time at everything.” His hands shake unsteadily in his lap and without thinking, I reach out to take his hands in mine, gripping them tightly as a reminder that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. “I’d key cars, I’d smash windows, I’d break shit, I’d beat the living crap out of people and there were always reasons but not that justified that big of a reaction.” 

“You were lashing out because of how you were being treated. You would’ve rather gotten negative attention than no attention at all. It makes sense, it’s valid.” He nods at my words but doesn’t seem to let them process, his chest rising and falling in a strained breath and I can tell he’s trying to muster an appreciative smile.

 “I started cocaine at like seventeen. My dad knew, he bailed me out a few times when I’d fucked up and forgot to pay dealers. He didn’t get me help, he didn’t offer me help. He just wanted me to shut the fuck up and stay out of his way. I could do anything I wanted if I just stayed out of his way.” Fuck he’s way worse than I would’ve anticipated. This boy needs years worth of trauma therapy. “Sarah hated me because I did such bad shit to her friends, things that I should never have wanted to do and she swore that I was just taking advantage of my dad. What she didn’t realize is that, every time he took his shit out on me, he wasn’t taking it out on her or Wheezie. They never saw it, they never saw how badly he had me fucked up. Rose did and she just didn’t care.”   

“Rafe you were dealt a shit hand from a young age and, though you claim to have done horrible things, you still protected your sisters no matter how they felt about you. That takes courage.” 

“I did everything in my capability to help without it being a nuisance. I did the bare minimum, I was lazy. And my dad was just getting so sick of dealing with me and getting me out of trouble so he told me, I had to apply to colleges and that he would pay for it but I had to get out of his hair and his house. I didn’t have an option.” He gulps, eyes meeting mine in a disheartened, broken look and I find my heart cracking in my chest. He looks so small, so helpless as he scoots impossibly closer to me, his arm now closing in around my back to rub between my shoulderblades. “It’s why I do the bare minimum to stay here to avoid making him mad but I never wanted to be here. When he found out about our sessions, he got afraid that I would open up to you about him and that a case would be opened up against him because Wheezie is still a minor and you’re a mandated reporter.” Dots connect in my head, dots that I should’ve put together before but I didn’t. “He wanted to beat it into me that, to keep the family together, I had to man up and suck it up.” His voice wobbles and cracks as a few stray tears escape his eyes, my hands immediately reaching up to cup his cheeks, thumbs brushing his tears away. He sinks into my touch, shoulders relaxing a bit as he leans into me. “Stop looking at me like that.” He mutters with a gentle, boyish pout.

“Like what-”

“Like you’re sorry for me.” His hand reaches up to rub at the back of my neck, thumb brushing beneath my ear, the touch soothing him. 

“I’m not as sorry for you as I am sorry for your dad when I stick my fist down his throat.” He cracks a smile finally, eyes fluttering shut in a brief moment of relief and I allow myself to finally relax against him, the tension in the air soothing a bit.

“I think that’s adorable.” He whispers, fingers fisting the back of my shirt as he leans completely into me, tucking his face into the crook of my neck once more. I rub his arm soothingly, hesitantly pressing a comforting kiss to his temple, lingering a bit against his skin. 

“You didn’t deserve any of it. Maybe you deserve to be in counseling, maybe you deserve some rough love- I don’t know. You don't deserve to lose a parent and then get the shit beat out of you for years on end.” He nods but I’m still not completely sure that it’s something that he believes. It takes years of trauma therapy to undo all of the abuse that he’s gone through and I highly doubt my words of encouragement will do much in the grand scheme of things. But if I need to be the first one to tell him that he’s loved and cared for and deserving of all the good things in life, then so be it.  “I don’t know about any of the bad things you did, I don’t want to know. What matters is that you make a conscious effort to not be that person anymore. If you need help, you get it. If you need to talk, you talk.” He nods once more and I can feel damp drops falling onto my collarbone but I choose to not say anything. “Are you still doing, uh…”

“No, not in a while, maybe a year.” He replies, reaching up to rub the tears from his eyes, sitting up with a loud sniffle. “I know I need help, I’m just not ready yet. Not until I know that I don’t have to go back to my dad, that I don’t need to rely on him anymore because if I try to get help now while I’m still so attached to him, it won’t help.”

“Okay. We’ll get you there when you’re ready.” His brows furrow briefly, confused at my words and my lips part, wondering if I said something wrong but before I can apologize, he speaks.

“We?” He asks, a little breathless and taken back, a slight red dusting to his cheeks.

“You think I’m gonna run away now that I know you’ve got some skeletons in your closet?” I tease, reaching out to pat his cheek sweetly, thumb brushing against his collarbone. 

“You don’t even know half of it.” He scoffs, eyes lowering to his lap in a bashful look.

“Are you still that person?” I ask and he shakes his head almost immediately.

“No.” I shrug and he scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re not freaked out?”

“Am I still here?” I ask him and he smiles softly, realizing the point I was getting at. “I’m still here, even after you cried and almost threw up in my mouth. My mouth, Rafe.” The memory hits him like a ton of bricks and he buries his face in his hands with a groan and a small laugh. 

“I would not have thrown up.” He mumbles into his palms and I can see the red blush crawling down his neck and beneath his shirt.  “You’re such a tool sometimes, god.” He reaches out to playfully shove me but I catch his hand, pulling him back towards me with a wicked smirk.

“You love it.” I whisper, holding his eye contact in my gaze and I can almost see his eyes clouding over, eyes flickering down to look at my lips. The memory of kissing him last night floors me and I fight the strong urge to lean towards him and kiss him senselessly.

“Yeah I guess I do.” He whispers breathlessly, swallowing roughly before blinking out of his haze. “Are you almost done here? I could, uh, buy us take out?” He offers with a bashful grin, his fingers slipping in between mine. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

– 

“You’ve never had wonton soup?” Rafe asks me, shoving a wonton into his mouth with his chopsticks, giving me an incredulous look from across the couch. I shake my head with a simple smile, taking a bite of my sesame chicken, humming at the delicious taste. “You wanna try?” Rafe asks, holding a wonton out to me by the ends of his chopsticks and when I reach out to take them from him, he backs away with a small tut. 

Shit. 

I bite back a wicked smile, leaning forward and parting my lips so he can feed the wonton to me with the most inappropriate look in his eyes, his gaze getting completely caught on the way that my lips enclose around the chopsticks. 

“Shit.” He mutters, watching me intently as I chew and hum, nodding my head with every bite. 

“It’s really good.” I nod, reaching out with my fork to stab a wonton out of his soup, plopping it into my mouth with a giggle. “Like really good.” 

“Glad you like it.” He grins, bashfully looking down at his soup as the TV noise fills the empty silence around us. I can’t stop watching him, eyes flickering between his eyes and his lips like and he does the same when he’s regained confidence to look back up at me with wide, eager eyes. We’re both completely and utterly enthralled by one another and, like a spell has taken over us, we set aside our food, acting like we’re done but we both know it’s because we’re ready to move on. There’s an awkward moment that passes both of us wanting to make a move but unsure how to and I know that it’s going to take him making the first move for me to feel his lips on mine.

When our lips meet after a few moments, I can already tell that I won’t stop kissing him until I’m out of breath. I just want to be close to him, feel him on me, his lips, anything. His hands settle on my hips, pulling me firmly on top of him as I gasp quietly. The kiss is messy, needy, like we had been needing this for weeks and we have, the kiss last night was barely anything to hold us over. The minute his lips left mine last night, I’ve been waiting and dreaming of the moment where he’ll finally kiss me again and, given the hungry urgency behind his lips, I can tell he feels the same way.

Like I need air, water, I need him against me. 

I moan quietly as his hands slip down, winding around my thighs to hoist me further on top of his lap before flipping us over on the small couch. I squeal with a giggle, my head falling back as he drops down on top of me, strong arms caging me in. 

He’s on me in a minute, his body sliding on top of me as his lips find mine. I grip the back of his shirt, feeling his lips parting gently to deepen the kiss and I whimper as his lips leave mine just seconds later, trailing down to my neck as his hands wander under my shirt, cold fingertips making my arch up into him. He curses against my skin as his eyes flutter down to my parted legs that he fits so perfectly between, his fingers skimming against the material of my leggings. I watch him with parted lips, the room suddenly feeling ten times more heated.

“I can’t stand you wearing these.” His hands slip under my shirt to splay across my lower stomach, pushing up my shirt right under my breasts. His fingers dance against the skin of my abdomen, a shiver running down my spine as I arch into him, begging for him to do more of anything other than this simple teasing. His fingers gently slip lower and my head throws back in frustration as he dips his fingers into the waistband of my leggings, slipping beneath them completely as I let out a pathetic gasp. He moans quietly, my eyes dancing down to watch him palm himself gently and he looks back up at me, his eyes needy and his cheeks flushed. Without a second thought, he pulls his shirt over his head, a huge grin breaking out across my face as I tug him down to me. “I forgot you're a needy one.” He chuckles against my lips as I pinch his side, earning a quiet hiss from him.

“Shut up and fuck me, Rafe.” I whisper simply, his head pulling back to look at me with wide, teasing eyes, blue hues nearly completely taken over by his blown pupils, lined with lust and adoration. I shrug playfully and slowly at him, his head dipping in a quick head shake. Keep him on his toes, right?

“Are you sure you can handle it?” He taunts, his lips lowering to press against the hollow of my neck and I let out a breathless laugh, my fingers reaching up to grip onto his shoulders as he sinks his teeth into my skin. “You’re kind of loud.”

“I was pretty quiet thinking about you the other week.” I whisper, lying through my teeth but I know it’ll drive him crazy and it does, his kisses stalling as he sits up, his eyes dark and mischievous. In one fluid motion, my leggings and shirt are off and on the ground. My hands help him slip out of his pants as he laughs, leaning forward to press a kiss to my forehead, loving my greediness.

When he makes his way back between my thighs, nestling in so the outline of cock is pressing against my core, I moan, the feeling of him against me has my mind spinning and his hand gently reaches up to rest on my cheek, bringing me back to him, and his lips press against my other cheek, the skin heated beneath his lips.

“You’re mine...” He whispers, his hand slipping down my thigh to hoist it over his hip. I nod with a grin, my arms wrapping around his neck tightly. I’m not in the mood to play or tease him, I just want to feel him and to know that his words are true. “You’ve been mine. You’re all I think about.” He whispers, his lips skimming against my neck as I whimper, my nails digging into his shoulders as an anticipatory anxiety fills my belly. His hand gently ventures under my bra, his fingers kneading my breast as my hips twitch up against him and I pray he’ll get the hint to stop teasing and to get on with it. Getting the hint, he moves away from me momentarily as I take the time to catch my breath, listening to him  fumble with his boxers that are discarded onto the floor in a moment.

He’s slipping in me almost instantly, his hips stilling as he bottoms out and all I can do is whine.

“Fuck, Rafe- so good.” I whimper, my eyes fluttering shut as I cling onto him, hugging him tightly as his fingers reach around my back to unclip my bra, yanking it off of me as he breathes heavily. His lips move to focus on my breasts, lips skimming and tongue swirling around my peaked nipples, alternating back and forth between breasts as I whine and writhe against him. I tuck my lip between my teeth as his hips start moving, a small sigh leaving his lips as he thrusts. My hands find his cheeks so I can look up at him, wanting to capture every image- every smile, every blink, every whimpered gasp that escapes him- I want to engrain it in the parts of my mind that I can tuck away and keep with me forever, needing him close and needing to comfort that he offers me for the rest of my life. His eyes flutter closed from pleasure, head falling to rest on my collarbone and my lips press against his cheeks in quick, reaffirming kisses.

His thrusts are steady and controlled but he’s ever so deep, my walls hugging them like he was made to be inside of me, fitting my body like his lock to my key, and I can feel him slowly opening up with every thrust. His body relaxes a bit against mine, shoulders slacking as he drops a bit of weight onto me and I take it willingly, loving and memorizing the feeling of his weight on me. I love the sound of his moans and breathy whimpers so much that I feel myself biting my tongue to listen to him.

“Don’t be quiet.” He whispers, his lips capturing mine in a brief kiss and  I nod, realizing that I wanted to hear him but didn’t even think for a moment that he might want to memorize my moans, the way my body moves- I’ve been depriving him. Poor man. I contemplate saying something snarky in return but instead I feel his fingers slip down in between us so that he can rub sensual circles against my clit as I squeal, his hand flying over my mouth with a chuckle. “C’mon, loudmouth- I know you can do better than that.” He taunts breathlessly, his hips snapping against me with such power it has me seeing stars, possibly from the lack of oxygen or just from the intensity of his thrusts and the electricity that’s sparking between the two of us. Between that and his skillful fingers, it wouldn’t be long before I was completely done for, him following closely behind I’m sure. “Fuck, so wet.” He groans, finding my lips in a messy kiss as I feel every vein of him thrum against me, arousal-filled  blood pumping through us at an unholy pace.  “It was so hard not to just tear your clothes off and fuck you dumb on that stupid couch at your office.” I mutter a quiet ‘oh my god’ at the thought of him sitting there across from me, wondering what it would be like to touch me because I was doing the same. I was sure I was going to hell for it but…  “You wanted me just as bad didn’t you?” More, I wanted you more than you could ever imagine. I want you more than you could ever possibly imagine.

“Yes, Rafe.” I moan, fingers skimming up his back and all the way up to his hair, dragging my fingers along his scalp which draws a long, drawn out moan from him, his hips snapping harder into mine as his hands grip my hips, slamming into me full force. He leans up onto his knees so he can look down at me, spine straightening as his eyes widen, watching my breasts bounce with every filthy drag of his cock.

“Yeah? Tell me how much.” He orders and I blank, dirty talk coming up completely and utterly short just when I need it. For all the times I imagined this, I wondered if I would take control and have him completely at my mercy- I was so off because I can barely form words as I watch his abs tense and his jaw grind as he gawks at me.

“I wanted to ride you- fuck.” I get cut off by a firm slap to my thigh, core twitching around him at the sensation and he chuckles, hand soothing up my stomach and past my sternum, fingers gently wrapping around my throat in a simple move that has me clenching hard around him and it almost has me spiraling towards my orgasm too soon.

“Go on.” 

“Wanted you to choke me, call me yours.” It’s as if he reads my mind because he lets out an incredulous laugh at the position we’re already in, fingers tightening their hold just the slightest bit as I gasp, eyes rolling to the back of my head and I struggle to find the right words.  “I just wanted you- want you. Fuck I can’t think.” 

“You just wanted me to take care of you, huh?” He asks, suddenly slowly his thrusts drastically and I feel myself trying to chase the speed he once maintained, hips wiggling to find any sort of friction.  “Take care of you like you’ve taken care of me?” He slides back down on top of me, hands caressing my cheeks as his lips press gentle, bashful kisses to my cheeks, my nose and finally my lips.  “I’ll take care of you, baby- I’ve got you.” 

The pace that he takes next is brutal, snapping against my hips in a calculated way as shameless squeals leave me, his deep grunts only spurring me on. “Rafe, shit, I’m close.” I whimper, tears pricking my eyes as I throw my head back, my hands gripping onto his shoulders as much as I can to help myself stay grounded firmly to the couch, fearing I’ll twitch and tremble right out of his grasp. His fingers don’t stop against my clit, rolling it gently, as his thrusts slow drastically once more, his movements subtle and deep as my thighs tremble. “Please.” I plead, my jaw dropping in a silent moan as his nose nudges mine.

“Was that a please?” He asks with a small laugh and my head bobs in an obedient nod. He presses a gentle kiss to my lips and he wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me up and towards him as I squeal at the new angle, the new feeling taking me over completely. He swallows my loud moans with his lips, messy, open mouthed kisses that leave me hurtling towards the burning heat pooling in my abdomen and his own groans increase as my walls flutter around him. “Come on, I wanna feel you cum.” He whispers breathlessly, my chest heaving out a breath as I topple over the edge, my lips detaching from him as I mumble incoherently. 

I tuck my face into his neck as I tremble, feeling him fill me up effortlessly and quietly as he falls over the edge soon after, the feeling of him seeping out of me-  dripping down my thighs- it makes my whole body, my mind too, feel so warm and fuzzy. Complete. I feel as if my whole body is vibrating and I cling to him, his weight resting onto me as he catches his breath. He stays inside of me, warm and safe as his arms wrap around me, hugging me nearly as tight as he did earlier when he surprised me at my office. I smile softly, my hair sticking to my cheeks as I press a simple kiss to his freckled shoulder, never wanting to leave his side again.

I love the feeling of his bare skin against mine. 

I can feel it lowering my heart rate, calming my mind and my once rapid breaths. I could get used to this hazy feeling of being pressed against him, his cock softening inside of me as we made a mess of my couch, not caring for one second that we’d have to address our feelings later on.

He pulls away from me gently, a bashful smile on his lips as I giggle, reaching up to cover my face out of embarrassment. He lets out a similar shocked laugh, his forehead resting on my collarbone as we laugh together. I shake my head, the fact that we just did that shocking me to my core. “Fuck.” He whispers, his eyes flickering around the living room as he looks down between us, licking his lips as he thinks for a moment. “Stay still, don’t make a mess baby…” He trails off, both of us suddenly aware of the feeling of a familiar substance dripping out of me and onto the couch beneath us. “Bathroom?”

“Uh, yeah, over there.” I motion to the door on the far side of my wall, a quiet sigh of relief leaving his lips as he picks me up in his arms, cradling me to his chest without slipping out of me.

As we get cleaned up, I watch him intently with a soft smile, leaning back onto the cool counter beneath me as he cleans himself up, occasionally looking over at me to toss me a playful wink. There’s something so domestic, so wholesome about this moment right now, both of us in our most vulnerable forms with bright, flushed smiles on our faces. He catches my watchful eyes every once in a while, a shy smile on his lips but, even under my heated gaze, he's managed to pull his boxers back on and hand me his shirt to put on, his back muscles flexing as he rests his arms against the counter beside me. I urge him to step between my legs and he does, back in the same dangerous position we were in on the couch nearly twenty minutes ago. I wrap my arms around his neck, linking my ankles behind him as I smile softly, giving him a playful tilt of my head, almost saying ‘what next’?

“You good?” He asks, lips pressing against my forehead and he lingers, breathing my closeness in. 

“More than good.” I whisper, my eyes fluttering away from him as I chuckle bashfully. “Fuck that was like really hot, wasn’t it?” I ask with heated cheeks and his eyes rolling playfully at me as he scoots me towards the edge of the counter, his hips fitting even closer between my thighs as he grins.

“Yeah, really fucking good, doc.” He whispers, the nickname forcing my eyes to roll but my sass is quickly disregarded at his lips pressing against mine in a short kiss. “You’re mine.” He adds once more, more sternly than the last time he said it but it only makes my smile grow wider and I nod my head quickly, knowing every word is true. “Say it.” He orders against my lips, my hands cupping his cheeks as he waits patiently.

“I’m yours, Rafe.” He snakes his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug and, smiling like an idiot, I hold onto the happy man- my happy man- in front of me, both of us just happy. 

Both of our paths led us here, right now, to this moment. All of the fights with his dad, my troubling college days, getting harrassed at the bar, Rafe being shipped off to a college he thought he’d hate, keying a professor's car- it led us to one another so how could we possibly complain? 

Rubbing his back gently as he holds me, I can’t help but to throw all consequences, giggling to myself as I whisper, “so how about that pay raise?”

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the heart @vampviolets@haylee-e @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife

@officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @witxhy-lexx @minjix @luvroseee @tee-swizzle @savageneversaw @admiringlove @hysteriahall @piceous21 @starlightandfairies @igotmajordaddyissues @drewstarkey-wife1 @manyfandomsfanvergent @revesephemeres @bungunz

#rafe #rafe x reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #the outer banks #the outer banks fic

[aihoshiino]

hi!! this is a 'lil out of the blue but i've been thinking about chapter 132, and if you're ok with me asking, what's your opinion of ruby and nino's versions of what Ai would say? When I first read Ruby's interpretation, it didn't strike me as unlike Ai per-se, but I've gotta admit, Nino's answer rang true to me in a way Ruby's didn't. But for the life of me, I can't seem to narrow down why (´･ω･`)?

It bothers me, because while the words themselves sound plausible, Nino's interpretation of the feelings behind them is all wrong. I don't remember her exact words, but it was something like, 'she was so far above us that she wouldn't even remember what i said. my words couldn't bother her.' To Nino, its just more evidence that Ai was a perfect idol. but we know that's not true at all? in the first place, Ai had genuine trouble with her memory, even when it came to her most important people, so her forgetting something isn't the same as her like.. asserting dominance or w/e. And I'm certain, especially after chapter 133, that every time Nino said something cruel to Ai it hurt her deeply. If it looked like Ai simply brushed it off, it's because she was putting in a ton of effort to keep her head up. Knowing all that, it makes it so hard to agree with Nino. I do and I don't at the same time?

I feel nervous speculating about it because it's disrespectful to put words in Ai's mouth, but what do you think she would've done in that situation? Me personally, I think it might land somewhere between what Ruby said and what Nino said. Because Ai was constantly trying to connect and love the people around her, I can believe she'd extend kindness towards Nino like Ruby did, but at the same time she was hurting so badly that saying "it's all good" wouldn't communicate her true feelings. Being okay takes time, you can't just flip a switch on it. If anything, I think it'd thrust her into a kind of despair, where she can't communicate the true complexity of her feelings for fear of pushing Nino away, but not giving voice to them makes her feel so acutely like a liar, and the last thing she wants is to respond to Nino's genuine regret with a lie. She's so trapped in it (┬┬﹏┬┬).

sorry this is so long btw!! these characters are so easy to ramble about there's so much to them ^^;

Sorry for the wait on a response to this one! It was such an interesting question I ended up rolling it around in my head all week before I felt fully confident that I could get across how I wanted to respond to it.

What I think it ultimately comes down to for me is that Nino is not wrong in how she says Ai would respond - in fact, I think she's correct in saying that Ai would have responded in the way Nino would've wanted to hear and that she would've chosen the sort of, path of least resistance of pretending she didn't even remember she'd been hurt. This feels the most consistent to me with the invincible, flighty persona Ai puts up when she's not quite feeling 100% and it also lines up with how she describes herself in the Spica novel.

Serious talks weren't her cup of tea, and she detested the weighty atmosphere they brought. [...] So, with the same nonchalance, she declared her departure. Things always went smoother without unnecessary drama.

(source is my in-progress TL of the free preview chapter i promise i'll finish it soon [<- in tears])

Where Nino stalls is in her understanding of Ai's motivations. In her mind, the cruelty she subjected Ai to wasn't even worth remembering— Ai was invincible, untouchable and inhuman so even if her words had stung in the moment, there was no way that she'd even remember being targeted by Nino. It should go without saying that this is not reflective of the real Ai in the least.

This is why Ruby, though I don't think she quite sticks the landing, is the one of the two who actually making calls about Ai in line with who she was as a person. While she doesn't properly understand the depths to which Ai was fighting every day to just be okay with things at that moment in time, she intuits something just as important quite naturally and without even seeming to realize she's doing it— Ai's kindness, her desire to help and reach out to people and her instinctive gestures of warmth and outreach when she sees someone who's in pain. Ruby acts on this kindness with barely a moment's thought and ends up embodying the real Ai's heart so vividly.

This is why Nino reacts with such immediate derision. The real Ai's human heart is something that repulses her— she rejects it any time she catches so much of a glimpse of it. It's natural then that she'd dismiss Ruby's earnest, clumsy and honest portrayal; imperfect, but truthful in the ways that really matter.

In short, I think Nino was right, but for the wrong reasons and in turn, Ruby was wrong, but for the right reasons.

I think Ai genuinely would've forgiven Nino in her own way— to her, her expression of "Oh, did you say that?" and pretending to have forgotten it would have been her way of telling Nino it was all water under the bridge and that she has no hard feelings. We know she wanted so, so badly to be friends with the other girls in B-Komachi and I think having Nino reach out to her would have made her so incredibly happy, happy enough that she would've been tripping over herself to forgive Nino of everything if it meant not losing a chance at forming that connection.

Of course, to Nino, it just would've been more proof of how she viewed Ai and more fuel for her belief of Ai as this untouchable, inhuman idol. The sad reality is that I don't think there was ever a chance for Nino and Ai to connect once things went south. That well had been too thoroughly poisoned.

and that's why they should kiss. thank you for your time.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ruby hoshino #ai hoshino #onk spoilers #b-komachi #onk nino #WHERE IS THE TOXIC YURI AI/NINO CONTENT PLEEEEEEEASE ONK FANDOM #<- on her hands and knees

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics that feature soldiers and/or war as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

—Louis/Harry—

💥 As We Were, As We Are by @jaerie *

(E, 51k, Dunkirk) Alex is a British soldier who has been injured in battle, Louis is a RAF pilot with amnesia. Somehow they put each other back together even if they get separated along the way.

💥 We're What's Right In This World by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite

(E, 48k, soldier Harry) Or the World War II AU where Harry goes off to fight and all Louis wants to do is be the boy who brings him home.

💥 fondre ton absence by @scrunchyharry

(T, 41k, amnesia au) Determined to find Louis, Harry did everything he could in his quest to be reunited with him, except prepare for the state Louis might be in.

💥 another hazy may by deLILAh

(M, 41k, soldier Harry) louis is a terrible poet and harry lives in the now and they have six weeks to fall in love but, really, it only takes six seconds. bookshop meets military meets summer romance au ft. marlboros, the backstreet boys, and underrated literary devices.

💥 Letters to June by Larry_you_know / @larryyouknow

(M, 41k, a/b/o) It's 1915, Europe is in the middle of the Great War. Omega Louis decides to join the Letter Home Project to become someone’s penfriend.

💥 All That You Are by asphodelknox / @iamasphodelknox *

(M, 40k, Dunkirk) Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson meet on a civilian boat, taking them home after their rescue from Dunkirk. 

💥 You and Me by delsicle / @eeveedel

(E, 36k, Dunkirk) Alex goes to war. He comes back and everything is the same -- his hometown, his flat, the boy with the bad heart he left behind. Everything is same. Except for him.

💥 the dead things we carry by MediaWhore / @mediawhorefics *

(M, 25k, WWII soldiers) There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.

💥 Trouvaille by delsicle / @eeveedel

(E, 18k, Dunkirk) The last thing Alex expects to find in an abandoned neighborhood in Dunkirk, France is something he actually wants to remember.

💥 High Heels, Red Dress by @jaerie *

(E, 15k, WWII) Hiding his queer identity isn't so hard until he attracts the attention of a particular soldier. It's all lies and secrets until the war is finally over. 

💥 To Honor by Awriterwrites / @a-writerwrites

(E, 14k, Scotland) Commander Styles leads his men to victory, but at what cost?

💥 Baby Honey by delsicle / @eeveedel

(E, 14k, Dunkirk) When the next great war strikes, all alphas have to ship out. Alex leaves a little more behind than some of the others.

💥 Worth the Wait by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings *

(M, 10k, WWII) WW2 soldiers get cut off for their group in a storm. They hole up in an abandoned bar and get to know each other and slowly fall for each other. 

💥 You Smiled by @taggiecb

(G, 9k, Canada) Harry prepares himself and his guards for their prisoners of war, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight of the most beautiful man he has ever seen- who is now his prisoner.

💥 To Love Without Reason by @mugglemirror

(E, 8k, post WWII) “Come on in, soldier,” Louis pats Harry’s chest and walks away, leaving Harry to follow behind.

💥 beat the darkness by @turnyourankle

(T, 7k, WWI) Harry is a volunteer nurse stationed in Cairo; Louis is one of the patients in his ward.

💥 The Letters by thecheshirepussycat / @the-cheshire-pussy-cat

(NR, 5k, Dunkirk) Correspondence between Louis Tomlinson, a writer from London who is writing about the children sent to the country to escape war, and his lover Harry Styles, an officer in the British Military stationed somewhere in France.

💥 ring around the moon by unwept / @peachade *

(T, 5k, historical au) 5 slices where they seek shelter in each other.

—Rare Pairs—

💥 History in the Making by areyoutherelarry

(E, 45k, Zayn/Liam) Liam, a soldier, and Zayn, an art therapist, meet at an art fair and immediately are attracted to each other, but Zayn has a kid and a dead fiancée and Liam has a career to think about.

💥 Write me not by sweet_mysterie

(G, 23k, Niall/Harry) Niall has never had anything he’s thought was worth fighting for and Harry just wants to fight for his own cause.

#ficrec #1dficvillage #trackinghome #trackinghappily #hltracks #1dsource #tracksintheam

[rere9500-18]

Let me just talk about this hug because this friendship makes me emotional.

The moment, and I mean, the literal MOMENT Gwen jumped through that portal, Miles was confused. (Hell, the moment he saw the portal open, he was so confused.) Confused as to how exactly Gwen was able to do so, considering he thought there was no other way to travel across universes. (He was actively studying quantum physics in order to someday figure out how to visit the other spiders.) And Gwen just falls out of the multiversal sky and lands on his bed.

He has questions. Tons of them; a lot he cannot get out due to the amount of shock he’s in. Seeing Gwen again wasn’t on his weekday list for that week. What was happening?

But, then Gwen runs to hug him.

And it’s like something clicked in Miles’ mind. He doesn’t know what it exactly was and he still has lots of questions in store later, but a part of him feels like that hug, that tight embrace, was somehow him realizing Gwen just needs him right now.

He doesn’t know how she got there or why in that moment, but his quick transition to “How did you.. How did you do-… How have you been?” with his light-hearted pats on her back? It almost completely assured Gwen that going to see Miles, even though she wasn’t supposed to, was worth it. To see someone she herself thought she might not see again was an opportunity she could not turn down.

“Look at you! You grew, huh? You had a little growth spurt!”

This statement can kind of tie into Gwen’s future statement of “Feelings make me hungry”, for many reasons.

Of course she’s not hungry now (as far as we know), but she is dealing with some of her emotions right now. Seeing Miles again brings a tornado of emotions out of her. Some seen and some not. The obvious one excitement/happiness at getting to see her friend again after a long time. She’s awkward with her emotions (as all teenagers can be), but it’s clear she’s very happy to see Miles. And him her.

One emotion that may not be seen to Miles in the moment (but maybe seen to the audience as the movie progresses) is how scared she is. She’s technically not supposed to be seeing Miles right now, so she’s taking a risk as far as reasons go for why Miles wasn’t supposed to be apart of this.

Speaking of which, let’s talk about the scene where Gwen tells Jess she’ll never see Miles again.

I know I’ve spoke about how that hurt Miles in another post of mine (Miles and his abandonment issues), but we also need to realize how that statement itself also hurts Gwen. Alot actually.

Imagine waiting a long time to see someone and then the opportunity to do so presents itself. You take it, but in doing so, you risk that person getting brought into something they’re supposedly not supposed to be brought into. But then when you try to fix it, they’re already brought into it.

Gwen loves Miles. She wouldn’t try to hurt him on purpose, but her situation isn’t very nice to her at the moment. She isn’t to blame for her dad not accepting her being Spider-Woman (at first), she’s not to blame for basically becoming homeless, she’s not to blame for wanting to see her best friend again, she’s not to blame for said best friend following her to a different universe. Neither of them are to blame. They’re teenagers in difficult situations and they’re currently learning as they go.

It hurts Gwen to realize the ‘good’ days may be gone, but she has hope that they’re still there, waiting to come back out again.

Idk. I just don’t think outright thinking Gwen or Miles did something wrong on purpose in this movie is.. good? They made mistakes (on cue, the Spot. On cue, Gwen accidentally killing her Peter not knowing he was the Lizard). As Spider-people, they’ll learn, grow, and always get back up.

And try to bond over just how strong they can be when they have each other to lean onto when they feel like they can’t get back up.

#across the spiderverse scene analysis #across the spiderverse #beyond the spiderverse #miles morales #gwen stacy #miles morales analysis #gwen stacy analysis #best friends #found family #found siblings #they found each other once and they’ll find each other again

[weemsfreak]

The Board Pt 8: The Seventh Day

Thank you to @im-a-carnivorous-plant and @yourlocaldisneyvillain for helping with the Italian parts of this fic! Enjoy some Larissa Weems x Anura Ricci :) ~4200 words

Warnings: bit of angst

Pt 7

Monday night

It was well into the evening now, hours had passed since the staff meeting. You have been pondering over visiting Larissa. You didn't want to annoy her if she wanted to be alone, but you wanted to make sure that she was alright. You were wearing shorts and an oversized sweater, pretty much ready for bed. Still, you found yourself making your way to her office. Knocking on her door, no reply came. It was only 8:30pm, it wasn't that late. You knocked again and waited, finally the door opened a crack.

"Hey Larissa, can I come in?" you spoke softly, as if you'd scare her. She opened the door enough to let you enter. There Larissa was, in all her glory. She gestured for you to follow her as she sat at the fireplace and poured herself some more red wine. You sat beside her, not saying a word. You could tell she had something on her mind, but you didn't know if she wanted to talk about it. She finally broke the silence, but what she said made you feel like she could see inside of your mind. You felt like she knew of all your plans. Your plans to betray her, your plans to out her to the board for lying. Your plans to gut her in front of them and let them feast on her because she believed in something good, which they didn't agree with. You, of course, had no plans like that, you weren't going to do such a thing. But that's how the words sounded when they came out of her mouth. She stared into your eyes, hers narrowed as she spoke. "Why do you care for me? Why do you stick up for me and lie for me? Why would you defend me against your co-workers and my staff? I find it hard to believe all this is honest and good, Anura." You kind of figured she would think this way. After all, you didn't know her that well, you just felt like you did. You didn't know what to say, you didn’t know how to start. "I just want a friend Anura, and I feel like nobody really likes me. I'm always just Principal Weems, I'm never Larissa" she trailed off as she looked into the fire. You could take a bit of hurt, a lot of hurt even, but this, this was too much hurt for you. She sounded like she wanted to become invisible, like she wanted to collapse in on herself and cease to exist. Why had nobody at Nevermore befriended her? You came here and instantly took to her. She was beautiful, intelligent, charming, delightful, intimidating yes, but she was full of passion, and you felt safe around her. "Larissa, can I tell you something? It might be a lot, and it's personal." You looked at her and reached for her hand. She glanced at you, held your eyes for a minute, then looked down at her lap, nodding her head. You knew what she said wasn't personal. You knew that she was just stressed and even worse, she was hurt by her own staff today. You didn’t know if this would help, but it was worth a shot. You took a deep breath. "My own husband chooses Mr. Martell over me. We both work for the board, and I only see him every few weeks. When I was told to come here to see what was going on, Mr. Martell was pissed. I had to act like I was against you and the school to get here. I probably wasn't too convincing, but I'm here, aren’t I? I don't blame you for not trusting me. I came here out of nowhere and acted like your friend, and for that I am sorry. I should've been more professional like you. The thing is, I have worked for the board since I was eighteen. I didn't really know what I could do with my life. I took a well paid opportunity and ran with it. Along with that, I found a man and ran with him. Recently I -I realized that maybe I should've waited and you know, weighed my options. My point is, I don't have many people in my life, despite living in a city with a shit ton of people." She was looking at you now, turned toward you with her knees touching yours, listening to every word you said. You looked away, slightly embarrassed about what you were going to admit. "But when I came here and met you, I was instantly relieved. I felt happy, care free, I joked, I had fun, I felt like you were my friend, even though we had just met. I thought that you were charismatic, intelligent, charming, stunning, and I don't know if you feel the same about me, if not, that's okay. I just want you to know that somebody cares about you. Even if that somebody works for the school board and is an idiot because they're willing to lie to their boss. Somebody thinks you're a beautiful human for the things that you do and the way that you look out for others. I think you're beautiful, inside and out."

Larissa sniffled, her eyes glistening. You hadn't noticed until you stopped talking, because when you were rambling you were looking down at your hand in hers. Good job Anura, she was sad before and now she's sad for a different reason. "Ah shit, I'm sorry. That was rather depressing" you quickly said when you saw her tears. She wiped them away. Without looking at you, she stood up and grabbed her wine, pulled you to stand, and started walking you towards a door. You followed her as you walked through the door and was met with her kitchen, which was attached to her living space. Her personal quarters were right in her office, how convenient. Her quarters were way nicer than other rooms. They had the same dark wood and big windows, but her furniture and appliances were all expensive and high end. Her décor matched her style perfectly, with white cream colors, neutral tones, and red accents. She placed the wine down on the coffee table and pointed for you to sit on the couch, then she disappeared. She had photos in her living space, some of her younger self, some of recent events with her and the students. There was one of her standing next to a pale girl, the girl dressed in all black not as tall as Larissa. They were wearing costumes and holding a trophy, they looked like total opposites. You had wondered if Larissa had a partner, but judging by the lack of presence in her quarters along with knowing how lonely she felt, you thought not. Then again, maybe she did and they just worked away. Maybe she didn't see them often, like you. All you knew is if she did have one, they were a lucky son of a bitch. You walked over to her fireplace and started a fire. You took note on how she liked the warmth, she always had a fire going in her office. As you were getting the fire going, Larissa came back out and stood beside you. You didn't notice her at first, but when you finally looked up at her you were in awe. She was wearing brown satin shorts and a matching pajama shirt. Her hair was down, light, wavy, running past her shoulders, free. She was free of her usual makeup, she looked so pale. You stared at her, you couldn't help it. Larissa held her hand out for you to take and she led you back to the couch.

She poured you some wine and passed it to you, making eye contact with you. "Thank you for your kind words Anura, and for trusting me with your personal things. I-I really appreciate knowing how you feel about me, and knowing that someone thinks of me as a friend." She was talking really low, not like the Principal Weems you knew. You couldn't take your eyes away from hers. Her sapphires stared back at you, they looked like they were wandering, wondering about so many things. "I want you to know that I think of you as a friend too, and that I really do trust you, even though you work for the board" she ended her sentence with a small smirk. Finally, you got to see that smile again. You smiled wide as you stared into her eyes, you couldn't help it, it just felt so right. Her smile turned to a frown again and you wondered what had happened. Truthfully you were caught up in her, caught up in her natural aura. Her not dressed up, not guarded, not faking her confidence, not being Principal Weems, but just being Larissa. You felt lucky to have the opportunity to see the real her. "Do you not like me without makeup on?" she joked, although it only half sounded like a joke. Panicking, you figured you'd tell her the truth. "No Larissa, I just, I feel like you're not Principal Weems anymore, you know? Like this is Larissa, it's you. The you I want to know, the you I feel so privileged to see, hair down and no makeup on." She blushed and turned her face away from you. She wasn't used to having any attention besides the looks she'd sometimes get because of how she dressed, but you gave her all of your undivided attention. You said whatever you thought and did what you were inclined to do, if it was sincere and true. You grabbed her hands again and held them in yours, gaining her attention back. You shuffled closer to her on the couch. "Larissa, can I ask you something?" She nodded her head, "Anything Anura, please." You didn't know if this was something she would want to talk about, but you wanted to know why her staff were so caught up on it. "Who is Morticia?" Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth, then closed it. She hadn't forgotten about her staff's comments earlier, but she was trying to. "Morticia is Wednesdays mother" oh, well that explains it. "Some of the staff think that I let Wednesday enrol late in the term because we used to be roommates. Actually, we used to be good friends. Some people like to make jokes about her and I." This seemed like something she didn't want to get into, but you had to ask. "Did you and her date?" you asked reluctantly. You didn't know if Larissa even liked women, it just seemed like Morticia was someone who hit deep for her. "Well, no, we didn't date. We just had a complicated relationship." You nodded and looked away from her, giddy by the thought of her possibly being interested in, well, not men.

You pulled yourself together and looked back at her, she was staring, having never taken her eyes off of you. You stroked her hand, you were starting to get tired but you didn’t want to leave her. "Larissa, do you need anything from me tonight? Do you want to talk about anything? Or do anything that will cheer you up? I don't want you to feel alone." She felt the sincerity and care in your words and saw it in your expression. You hoped that if you could help her with anything, she would ask. You saw the reluctancy in her eyes, like they were searching for the confidence to say something, do something, ask for something. You let go of her hand and cupped her face. "Rissa, if you need anything, I'm here for you. I really hope you believe that." She believed you, well, she wanted to. She laid her head on your shoulder and wrapped her arms around you. You placed a hand in her hair and another around her as you pulled her closer to you. She smelled of roses, and her hair was the softest thing you've ever felt. You felt her mumble something into your neck, but you missed what she said. "What did you say pretty?" you asked, you didn't want to brush her off. She didn't respond for a minute until you heard "I just- I want to be held." Your heart ached, a lot. Out of all the things she could want or need, you didn't think she would just want touch, to be held. You would hug her, hold her, do whatever she pleased. You would appreciate her, you would cherish her, you would worship her. No, too much, but you would hold her, for as long as she wanted. "Riss I'll hold you, for as long as you need." With this, she pulled away and stood up, grabbing your hand again. Not the action you were expecting, but okay. She lead you to her room this time, and she pulled back the covers to her bed, gesturing for you to get in. "Are you sure?" you asked, willing but not wanting to push any boundaries. "Please" she whispered, and you needed nothing more. You settled in her bed, it was so fluffy and big. You opened your arms out to her, and she wrapped her long limbs around you, pulling herself into you. Her leg wrapped around yours, you tangled yourself in her as you basked in her touch. You felt so warm and safe, more so than you had in the longest time. You nuzzled your face into her hair, and you couldn't help the smile on your face. Apparently it was so big that Larissa felt your smile against her, and she moved her head to look down at you. Your face was inches away from hers, and you noticed her small wrinkles, her freckles, and the scar on her lip. You wanted to kiss her. You had wanted to before, but it was just a stupid urge, just a thought. You really wanted to now, she was here, she was comforting, she was gorgeous, she was… she kissed you on the corner of the mouth. You blushed more than you ever had before and kissed her cheek. You both laughed. You wondered even more now if she had a partner, worried about it even. "Hey, do you want to watch a show?" she pulled you away from your thoughts. "Sure, that sounds great." As the tv sounded, you felt Larissa's breathing slow, and you felt her become more limp. You listened for a minute and you heard her little snores. You sucked in a laugh, it was too cute. You kissed her forehead as you stroked her hair, hoping she would feel comforted in her slumber. "Goodnight, Cara Mia."

Tuesday

You opened your eyes and winced as they adjusted to the light coming in from the window. Right, you fell asleep in Larissa's bed. You looked down at her still asleep. She was gripping your shirt tight in one hand, the other wrapped around your arm. She was smiling in her sleep, she must have been dreaming. You didn't know if she wanted you to stay the night, you meant to leave after she fell asleep. Since you were here though, you had a great idea. Make her breakfast. Slowly, you got up and released her hand from your shirt. You covered her with the blankets, cleaned yourself up, and made your way into the kitchen.

You made chocolate chip pancakes and decorated the top one with a chocolate chip heart. You wanted to leave them for her to find when she woke up, you figured her alarm would be going off soon as it was a school day. You were listening to 'I Wanna Be Yours' by Arctic Monkeys and scooping some whipped topping onto her pancakes as you felt arms wrap around your waist from behind. Larissa startled you, you didn’t hear her coming because of the music. She laid her chin on your shoulder and eyed the pancakes in front of you. "Anura, those smell so damn good." You chuckled, "Well I'm glad you like them, because I made them for you" you smiled at her. "I figured you'd like chocolate pancakes because you like hot chocolate" you stated, pointing to the heart shaped chocolate chips on the pancake. She kissed your cheek and squeezed you tight, before letting you go and sitting on the counter in front of you. Eating, she mumbled out a "You know, we never got that hot chocolate you promised me." You had forgotten about that. This whole trip you hadn't been out of the school. Frankly, you didn't want to try it, but you wanted to see Larissa enjoy it. "Well, would you be free to go tonight?" She swallowed a big bite of pancakes, trying to hurry up and give you an answer. She smiled and nodded frantically before she answered, "6 o'clock?"

At lunch time, you had decided to surprise Larissa with a chocolate chip cookie. You didn't know what was with you today, you just loved seeing the woman lite up. You knocked on her door and heard a faint "Who is it?" "Anura." You heard her footsteps before Larissa opened the door, blocking your view into her office with her body. She gave you wide eyes and pursed her lips, a look that said 'help, we have a problem'. You tilted your head in confusion, and she stepped away from the door to let you in. As you stepped into her office, you froze. None other than Mr. Martell and your husband were sitting in the chairs in front of Larissa's desk. Your jaw dropped and you already knew this was going to be tiring. Taking a deep breath, you walked over to Mr. Martell and shook his hand, "Mr. Martell." You looked to your husband, who you only ever saw when he was with Mr. Martell, "Kyle" you said with a nod. Larissa sensed your unease and pulled a chair to her side of the desk for you. She thought the way that you greeted Kyle was weird, and she knew you didn't like Mr. Martell, so she thought it better if you sat by her. As you both sat down, Mr. Martell started. "Well Mx. Ricci, I'm sure you're wondering why we're here" he nudged Kyle with a snicker. You did wonder that, but you also really didn't care. You just wanted them to not be here. He continued, "We overheard that you were having a staff meeting yesterday. We finished our work, so we thought, why not go see what's going on with the murders, right?" He looked to Kyle who seemed unamused, but Mr. Martell was very amused with himself. "Well, that's kind of you, but I reported back to the boss and everything is under control" you stated, matter of fact. He didn't answer you, he just looked at Larissa. "Well, I don't know if I believe that. It would be better for us to look around, see for ourselves. I want to see if this shapeshifter is up to no good." Before you could say anything, he put his hands on the desk and stood up, Kyle following him to the door and out of Larissa's office. She looked at you, you were fuming at his disrespect towards her. Hands in fists, you were staring at the desk, lost in thought. Then you looked at her, and sadness came across your face. "What is your deal with Kyle?" she asked in a low voice, she didn't know if she really wanted to ask. You looked back at the desk and let out an unamused snort, "He's my husband."

Outside, you found Mr. Martell and Kyle snooping around the quad. You and Larissa had followed them in case they had any questions. Larissa grabbed your arm as she diverted your attention to Mr. Martell, who was getting awfully close to the Edgar Allan Poe statue. You knew she wanted to get him out of there. You called Kyle over and he gave you and Larissa a smile. "Hey Anura, nice to see you." "You too Kyle, how's Mr. Martell treating you?" You said this in a tone that implied they were together, you thought you were hilarious. "Listen, can you get him away from that alleyway? There's uh, there's a chemical used that's poisonous to vampires, you know, the vampires here know not to go around it." Kyle nodded at you as he got Mr. Martell away from the statue. You turned to Larissa and sighed in relief. She rubbed your back as if to say thank you, but stopped when she saw them walking towards you. "Well, it seems as though we are keeping secrets." Mr. Martell walked until he was standing in front of Larissa, her towering over him. "Aren't we, Larissa?" "Mr. Martell, I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about." Larissa put up her guard and put on her best lying face, using her strict tone. She seemed convincing to you. "This rich, pin up pixie thinks she can cover things up and I won't find them" he chuckled menacingly. He looked at you, "Anura, this is the first time you aren't doing your job correctly. Is there something you need to tell me? Is someone getting in your way? Perhaps a certain unattractively tall principal?" He was right, of course, someone was getting in your way. Still, that didn't mean he could go around bullying you for liking women and degrading Larissa for her appearance. You had enough of his shit, and you finally snapped.

"Kevin, I swear to god if you don't start treating Principal Weems with respect I'll-" you stopped, realizing that there were students in the quad. You opted to speak in Italian, hoping nobody else around would understand. "Kevin, smettila di accusare Larissa. Ti stai inventando un sacco di cose nella tua testa, va tutto bene, posso gestirlo" (Kevin, stop accusing Larissa of things. You're making shit up in your head, everything is fine, I can handle it). He laughed and looked at Kyle, amused with your transition of languages. He spat at you. "Why are you speaking Italian now? You really care if these kids can understand us? Dovrebbero sapere che la loro preziosa preside sta nascondendo qualcosa, non è vero?" (They should know if their precious principal is hiding something, shouldn't they?) Larissa's eyes were flicking back and forth between the two of you, she didn't know what or who you were talking about, she just knew she heard her name. "Lasciaci in pace Kevin, smettila di essere uno stronzo misogino!" (Leave us alone Kevin, stop being a misogynistic asshole!). Larissa was now super confused and was starting to get frightened from your tone. She had never heard you talk like this before. She looked at Kyle for help, he knew what you were saying. You also looked at Kyle who had his mouth shut, he was not backing you up at all. "Kyle, are you going to have any input at all?" you asked him, hoping he would take your side for once. He said nothing. Mr. Martell smiled rather sly and elbowed Kyle while looking at Larissa. "Ehi Kyle, se non sapessi meglio, direi che la tua moglie fosse gay" (Wow Kyle, if I didn't know any better, I'd say your wife was gay) he laughed, knowing Larissa wasn't getting any of this, but that you were. "E questa donna qui, quella alta, è decisamente gay" (and this woman here, the tall one, definitely gay). This made Kyle laugh too, and he came back with "Donne, buone a nulla" (Women, good for nothing). You were speechless. Not only did your husband let Mr. Martell berate you and Larissa for being queer, (weather Larissa actually was, was lost on you), but he also backed him up. On top of that, he called you a woman, he knew you didn't like that. "Sparisci Kyle, non sei mai stato cattivo. E signor Martell, vada a farsi fottere" (Get lost Kyle, you were never mean. And Mr. Martell, go fuck yourself). When you said this, you said it in the meanest, most serious, hateful tone ever. You hoped the students couldn't understand you, and you knew Larissa didn't based on her face. You didn't want Larissa to know what they were saying about her. You didn't want them to hurt her further. When you looked at Larissa, she had confusion written all over her face. She didn't know how to deal with this. She didn't know if you were agreeing with each other somehow or if you were all fighting. Why were you speaking another language? Did you not want her to hear because you were talking about her? She knew you weren't fond of them being here, but they were your co-workers, one of them was your husband for fucks sake. Feeling left out, hurt, overwhelmed, and betrayed by you, she turned and strutted back into the building. As you saw her start to walk away you started to run after her, but your husband stopped you as he grabbed you by your arm. "You're coming with us Anura, we're leaving."

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