#it maybe hard now

[cali]

sorry bro i lost focus and forgot where u begin and i end i hope nothing gay happened

#everytime i smoke too much i enter the lives of lawyers and secretaries and all the lives that arent mine #and on lsd i kept concentrating rlly hard on not becoming u #although now i think thats wrong but i havent done it in a while maybe if im brave ill not fight it next time

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

#dog books #this chapter was very sad reading #when you become aware of punishment #and its use and its prevalence #it's hard not to despair #again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution #maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did #what I did because it's what everyone does #because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else #I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice #this book was very validating #another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts #was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice #with Amanda Knox #it helped to ease the despair a little

[cruelsister-moved2]

for real! (from kadji amin)

[Image description: Screenshot of text:

What I've realized is that I believe that the matter of gender is practical and relational. It's not about who you are inside, it's more about how you would feel most comfortable in the world. It's not 'Who are you?' but 'How do you want to live?'

Had that been the discourse when I was coming up, I would have breathed a sigh of relief. I don't have to figure out who I am on the inside, I just have to figure out how I want to live.

end of ID]

#and I kind of felt really sad when they were talking about how like they feel in some ways figuring yourself out is way harder now #bc there is this pressure to like figure out who u Really Are Inside #and instead of being like well maybe my identity goes far beyond gender and like i don't need to find some microlabel #in order to like define who is Me #it's become very fixated on like categorising ur gender rejection in a way that ends up just. making even more genders to constrain u #it's hard to summarise it was like v wordy but I thought this part was so true #for sexuality as well not to tack it on but we have really gotten into the same mindset w sexuality now as well #THANK U @VAKAVANHASAATANA for the ID it wont let me @ you in the text </33

[crunchchute]

My Sam & Max cosplay I debuted at a local con during the weekend!

#wasnt wearing leg padding in these so sorry sams a bit skinny #sam and max #cosplay #crunchchute art #my art #i could remake the pants and jacket entirely but that would be quite hard actually. i suck at making jackets especially #so those are just thrifted and edited #lots of color differences that bug me but. oh well #pants and jacket arent that different but its noticeable in these pics #as well as maxs hands and feet. theyre slightly lighter as the fabric i used is better quality #but i ran out of the stuff i used on his body etc and i couldnt buy more from that store as they took their sweet time shipping the stuff #oh well. didnt make them for a competition so its okay #im my own biggest hater and my own biggest critic #at the end of the day i made a handful of people really happy and thats all that matters to me #gotta share them every chance i get as i usually just make a cos #wear it to the con and then put it on the shelf #but im too happy with these to just hide them away after #they need a good scrub and after that id like to bring them to another con. next main goal is viecc but thats just a maybe right now

[hotdogmchiggin]

I guess DARE wasn’t a thing in Goron City

#saw someone call zelda the gorons drug dealer and I couldnt get the image of her in a trenchcoat peddling marbled rock roast to children #like one of those shady guys selling wristwatches in cartoons out of my head #anyway that’s where this came from #trying to figure out comics and shit. not my strong suit so sorry if its rough. #figuring out an optimal level of detail is hard :( first I’m like oh i’ll just leave it black and white and then i’m like maybe ill add #color and then i’m like well now it needs shading and THEN it needs lighting and THEN IT NEEDS A BACKGROUND AND THEN IT NEE #anyway i should. probably stop rambling bye #loz #tears of the kingdom #totk #totk spoilers #i mean sorta. not huge spoilers. slight spoilers for goron arc I guess #zelda #myart

[1driedpersimmon]

Light’s mom & sister: Light died trying to fight Kira he must be happy in heaven 🥺😔

Matsuda:

#death note #happy Light died day #Matsuda #matsuda touta #I was laughing so hard drawing this #I’ve wanted to draw this me for a bit now but I never could think of a good idea #till now that is #oh also this is the idea no one told them the truth because I doubt anyone would #…or maybe this is how Matsuda breaks the news LOLL

[steddieas-shegoes]

It’s been done in every which way but Eddie being in an accident of some kind that leaves him paralyzed, but his doctors believe he could walk again with intense physical therapy

He’s stubborn and absolutely hasn’t dealt with any of the trauma of the accident and takes it out on his physical therapist, Steve, who is used to patients being pretty angry about their situation

He always meets Eddie where he is though, tries to keep a smile on his face and joke when appropriate and even shares his cookies from his lunchbox with him

Eventually, Eddie starts making some progress, but instead of being happy about it, he panics and cancels all his PT appointments for the week

Steve tries calling, texting, emailing, doing everything he can to encourage him to keep going, but it all goes unanswered until Gareth, one of Eddie’s closest friends, calls him on Eddie’s phone

He’s depressed and he won’t get out of bed, he’s given up. He’s tired of being in pain and having to try to so hard just to move his damn legs a little

Steve isn’t usually this personal with clients, and tells Gareth he can’t discuss anything medical with him due to patient confidentiality, but insists he should try to drag him to the office the next day before it opens

And somehow, probably through guilt, Gareth manages to wheel a very sullen and grumpy Eddie into the side door entrance to the office at seven in the morning

Steve tells him to come back in an hour to pick him up and Eddie ignores the goodbye Gareth says to him

And Steve pretends nothing is wrong at all, goes through the usual temperature and blood pressure check, asks how he’s feeling and gets a grunt in response, asks if there’s any pain and gets an eye roll

But Eddie met his match in Steve because Steve then pushes him to the center of the workout room, where a large mat is out and a walker is set to the side

“What’s that?”

“Your walker.”

“I don’t need one seeing as I can’t fucking walk.”

“You are today.”

And Steve knows he’s pushing and he hates being pushy

But he knows what his clients are capable of, and he knows without a single doubt in his mind that Eddie is ready to use the walker for five to ten minute increments. He has the leg strength and the stubbornness, he just needs the belief in himself

“Do you want me to hurt myself worse?”

“Of course not. And if you get tired, the seat on the walker is right there. But you can walk and you will walk.”

“And if I call Gareth to come get me right now?”

“Then I don’t believe my services are of value to you anymore and I’ll wish you the best.”

It pained Steve to say it because he knew he was fucking good at what he did, maybe the best in town. His clients often had to wait for his availability to open for weeks or months at a time because of how many people were referred to him

But he said the right thing because Eddie huffed, groaned, and cursed under his breath before wheeling himself to the edge of the mat to hold onto the walker

He pulled himself up

His legs were shaking from not being used for the last few days more than the bare minimum, but his determination was clear

Steve slowly pulled the chair away as Eddie unlocked the brakes of the walker and glared at Steve as he took one step, then two

Sure, he was relying pretty heavily on the walker, maybe more than Steve would’ve liked to see, but he was moving

He made it across the mat and then locked the brakes, sat down on the pad on the walker, and gave a sarcastic grin to Steve

“Happy?”

“Are you?”

And maybe Eddie wasn’t ready to be asked that because he was suddenly sobbing, covering his face as tears flowed down his cheeks

Steve gave him a few seconds before moving to kneel in front of him, pulling his hands away

“You deserve to have your life back, Eddie. You’ve been lucky to have the chance to walk again. Let’s not waste it, okay?”

Eddie spent the rest of the session walking across the mat and taking breaks every two minutes or so

It was better than Steve even expected, but he reminded Eddie not to do too much at once

Eddie didn’t miss any more appointments with Steve, and every appointment, he seemed to be more charming and flirty, more like “the old Eddie” according to Gareth, who drove him most days

Steve never admitted it out loud, but he knew what he felt for Eddie was different from other clients. It felt more personal, and it felt like it could be more someday

When Eddie graduated to a cane, Steve’s services were officially no longer needed

And Eddie decided that he should probably take Steve out on a date

“Since I can walk and hold your hand now,” he winked.

Steve should say no, but he doesn’t

Because holding Eddie’s hand feels even more right as his boyfriend than it did as his physical therapist

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #headcanon #physical therapist Steve #idk going through my notes on things I’ll never have time to actually write #but maybe someone else does #I’m literally ignoring work so hard right now #I’m just tired!!!! #im just a girl who doesn’t wanna work anymore!!!! #cw: injury #cw: mention of accident

[sivsii]

I sincerely hope every artist gets to have the experience of falling in love with their art someday. even if you have to fight for it. i think we all deserve to look at the result of our creativity all giddy and go holy shit, I loved making this! I love the lines I put down and the colors I used and the indulgences I’ve taken. I love seeing things I liked and taking it for my own, pushing and molding and playing. I can’t wait to do it again

#art stuff #maybe this is just me being all mushy or whatever but GOD #i used to hate my art so fucking much #i used to hate the act of creating so deeply that putting pen to paper knotted up my insides #and I don’t know HOW I grew through that but I did! i genuinely thought it was the end of such an important part of who I am #but it wasn’t! #and now for the last few years I’ve been consistently able to look at my art and feel proud of myself? like holy shit I made this! #i have such good taste! #and there have been times where I’ve hated the process or been dissatisfied with theresult ofc #art is fucking hard #art block and burnout is a bitch #but Ive still been able to look at the sum of my journey and just feel. satisfied. and accomplished #eager for growth but still proud of what I’ve made #idk #we all deserve that someday

[buttercupshands]

can you even call it a warm up if I'm going to bed without drawing anything big

and a sketch I made while sitting in the park today

#sketch #my art #bnha #shigaraki tomura #tenko shimura #all for one #midoriya izuku #bnha manga spoilers #only after I finished basically polishing this sketch did I notice how it's basically dark and light mode #also the first one is basically a redraw of illustration from vol 11 #I know that translation of Tenko's words is different in official but eh #fanart #I've kind of recovered from recent chapters #and I was analysing those chapters all morning #I'm still thinking but otherwise the chapters are so good #also did you notice that AFO actually talked about how his other him didn't use that 'last thing' yet and that was in ch 410 #and in ch 419 he did so it's real and it's still sad #but still AFO was never hiding it enough #from Tomura maybe but we as readers actually saw his plans play out #in any case I'm still just sitting with those two Izuku and Tenko interaction chapters #I waited long enough #and if you don't count AFO's return Izuku DID save Tenko and it's so interesting #since he now has to save his OTHER origin that was in ch 237 taught to kill whatever he wants #Tenko and Tomura both had 'origins' chapters and for now we only worked with 235 and 236 #and even if Izuku helped with the start of 237 there's still AFO #in any case it was a hard week #also the second thing actually had them holding hands #and then I was like 'but at that point Izuku's hands are gone oh no' #and it was just Tenko holding air where the hand was destroyed #in any case that scene.

[favoure]

heyyy <3

#desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #hermitcraft #mcyt #favourarts #mcyt fanart #hermitcraft s7 #ok to tag as ship #DREW THIS IN AN AGGIE A MONTH AGO . N LEFT IT UNFINISHED #SUDDENLY GOT POSSESSED N WORKED ON IT TODAY N YESTERDAY #NOW ITS DONE !!!!!!!! #im still very much insane over them btw #just found it hard 2 draw for like a few months <//3 #maybe bc it was the last few months of high school n i was GRADUATING #n got busy w ENROLLING #oh but like yk its not a big deal /s JHSKFJSFDSJDF #anyways hope u enjoy ^_^ hope that my love for these two is still apparent in this drawing even tho its been 3 months ^_^

[barghest-land]

kissed by a bullet

#it's 1904 john <3 #maybe i'll tell people more about him in the future #and about 1904 javi too because they live in my head rent free and i have a lot of art with them #but for now i wanna keep them as my dearest secret for a bit<3 (btw hi lucas ily) #anyway #i love him #kissing him as we speak #barghestland #rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #john marston #art #artists on tumblr #tw animal death #tw gore #tw blood #not much but just in case #it feels like im not out of artblock yet it's hard to draw rn:((( #but im trying !!!!!!!! #im trying ok !!

[gaytedlasso]

✨ Happy 10th anniversary Mishapocalypse ✨

#featuring spn content we didn’t have then lol #hope you all like this cuz it was hard but I also kept laughing at it lmao #cool it’s now an ungodly hour for me I’m gonna maybe sleep idk #sketch.art #mishapocalypse #mishapocolypse 2.0 #Misha collins #april fools #Misha #destiel confession #Mishapocalyse 10.0

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

I love seeing Danny Phantom showing up and being like ‘don’t ask too many questions but John Constantine I own your soul. All of it. Lmao sucks to suck bitch’, and he’s usually all Ghost King Full Regalia as he does it, at least in front of the Justice League, but consider—

He just shows up as Danny Fenton.

“yeah I got bored and collected the pieces like Pokémon. Gotta catch ‘em all” says the 5’2 teen who looks like a stiff breeze could trip him. He denies being a sorcerer, or a magician, concedes he’s maybe psychic but mostly he’s just…. The kid of two mad scientists—who have a basement lab where they opened a portal to what he SAYS is not hell but no one is frankly CONVINCED, by the way—and he hasn’t decided what to do with Constantine yet besides getting Danny into some r rated horror movies, but figures he should tell the dude probably.

“What’d you even trade for some of his soul contracts?”

“Don’t worry about it”

They worry about it

#danny phantom #john constantine #dp x dc #dc x dp #demons will NOT admit to being menaced by a baby ghost #not to mention that said baby ghost probably kicked their asses #this maybe changes some of Constantines powers? #like I don’t know the exact details but he primarily sold his soul for an immortality cheat. but he probably got some powers out of it? #so like maybe now it’s fueled by Danny/the ghost zone or some such? #not quite a Halfa but like what do you MEAN his pretty gold magic is TOXIC GREEN? #Danny just sorta shrugs and goes Yeah That Sounds About Right #and then does not elaborate further #he’s selling that he’s just a normal kid VERY HARD #they’d almost believe him if they didn’t know he had ALL OF CONSTANTINES SOUL CONTRACTS #bonus content of Batman #you can choose what he’s doing but I think it’d be funny if Danny found out about the contingencies and went Oh Cool I’m super allergic to.. #… this one specific flower haha #not at ALL elaborating that this flower is rare and WILL melt his skin. oh and that he destroyed the world in at least one timeline hehe #one reason I love OP Danny in DC universe—if Danny’s native to that universe he HAS to be OP. because he WOULD HAVE TO HAVE defeated… #…if not outright killed #the ENTIRE LEAGUE #ITS GREAT #1k #2k #3k #hnnnnnnnn #4K #5k #?!??!!!

[bluastro-yellow]

Kurvitz stresses that Kim doesn't actually have a character sheet hidden in Disco Elysium's code. Imagining that Lieutenant Kitsuragi has only one natural attribute point in Motorics helps the ZA/UM team to understand the depth of his character beyond what's referenced in the game's dialogue. "We just came up with this stuff for coherency," says Kurvitz. "And because we're nerds."

"I like to think Kim has a Thought Cabinet project called Revolutionary Aerostatic Brigades that he's worked on since he was a teenager," Kurvitz says. "This raises the learning caps for his Reaction Speed and Interfacing."

Kim's high Volition skill makes him impervious to prying, Kurvitz says, as the detective can find out on occasions being met with Kim's brick-wall resolve. Kim often chastises these whims of the detective's, but will occasionally play along. The Lieutenant finds his new partner funny, says Kurvitz.

Kim is naturally shit at Motorics and thinks Harry is funny source

#THE GUY WHO SO MANY THOUGHT WAS THE MISSING MOTORICS BUILD IS BAD AT THEM #and thinks cop types are stupid <3 #the bajillion points in authority make even more sense. he probably has a lot of natural points in the purple skills? #(addition: so empathy too T_T !!!) #so this means he had to put a lot of points in composture on purpose. and had to learn how to sew and repair motorcarriages the hard way? #the interfacing learning cap is higher but he still had to put points in it to have more than 1 #his perception is abysmal and it stayed so #his hand/eye coordination is also bad. his shooting posture is horrible. I wonder how he got to 7/10 #I want to poke this nerd with a stick #disco elysium #release the kim character sheet now. what the hell is volta do mar I need to know #he must have volta do mar. h/e coordination. kinetic dressage #(and something related to authority) #first and last are red but it's a different shade than harry's red-pink physical skills #so they must have a different name. but h/e is yellow #maybe everyone has the 4 colors psy/phis/mot/int categories but they have different shades and names #<-all of this is from the official jacket they sell. it's in the description #ok no the color shades are just the website's fault. sad noise

[onionninjasstuff]

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #villain mikey #one day his design details will stop being so inconsistent maybe probably #but for now we are #listening to the bad guys soundtrack thinking abt the blorbos #colors are so hard man

[capriciouswriter207]

The Terrors Beneath Deepfrost Citadel: a dnd-campaign

Get ready for “The Terrors Beneath Deepfrost Citadel”: a Decked Out 2-inspired Dungeons and Dragons campaign.

Many years ago, an adventurer by the name of Thaddeus Holsten opened the Black Mines and built Deepfrost Citadel - names familiar to any who aspire to be adventurers themselves. After tragedy struck, the mines were blocked off, the Citadel stood empty, and Thaddeus Holsten himself vanished.

Year after year, adventurers arrive in the former mining town of Hermilthan, sitting at the foot of the icy mountain where Deepfrost Citadel and the Black Mines are located. To find the treasures buried in the mines or hidden within the Citadel’s walls, or to discover the fate of Thaddeus Holsten. But anyone who enters the Citadel to start their search, disappears without a trace and none walk out alive.

Do you have what it takes to brave this dungeon? Or will it eat you alive?

This module contains: 

An original thrilling tale of terror that leans closely and expands on official lore

Adventure for characters levels 3 through 7

Five distinct and dynamic levels to explore 

Up to 18 different maps

Awesome magic items, based on the original dungeon’s artifacts

Unique Hermit-inspired NPCs and creatures

All in a fancy PDF and a less fancy but no less functional google doc!

For all your Decked Out 2 dungeons and dragons needs, all these resources are freely available following this link.

The Dungeon is ready for its next victim…

(This module is inspired by and based on Decked Out 2, a game made by TangoTek during Hermitcraft season 9).

#tangotek #hermitcraft #decked out 2 #terrors beneath deepfrost citadel #I can't believe I finished this #rather - can't believe i finished this in the span of two months #hyperfixation hit me hard #maybe this'll help me refocus on my other works #anyway - i am very proud of what i have accomplished and i'm sharing it with the world now #do with this as you please or take what you like for your own games and whatnot #i released it into the world what you do with it is out of my hands #capricious writings