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#it makes me think of lazing on a sunday afternoon
touch-tone-crowley · 1 month
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This song just makes me think of aziraphale trying to blend in with people and him listening to it in his bookshop with his little conductors hand 😭😭 (this is also the song that was in his head when he decided to propose to crowley)
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blondeboyfriend · 11 months
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𝐁𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 (𝟏𝟖+)
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𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈
[ PAIRING ] Dio Brando x reader [ AUTHOR'S NOTE ] Listen... stoner bff!Dio is a hard sell, but just roll with it. Join me on this ooc journey. (if this looks familiar, that's because this a repost) [ SYNOPSIS ] You get high with your bestie and reveal that no one has ever made you come before. [ WORD COUNT ] 1.5k [ CONTENT ] Modern AU, porn/no plot, weed, dubcon (you're both high), oral sex, vaginal fingering, orgasm delay, teasing.
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It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. You and your best friend, Dio, had spent most of the day lazing around, soaking up the mild summer sun that peered through your window. Neither of you had anything of major importance to do, so you both decided getting high and being lumps on your couch was the best way to utilize such a carefree day.
It started out chill, the two of you splitting a bowl with a sprinkling of kief on top. But it didn’t take long for Dio to talk up his “impeccable rolling skills” and demand that you smoke a blunt. You hemmed and hawed, not wanting to smoke that much of your stash, especially because you knew Dio wouldn’t throw five.
But of course he convinced you. Dio constantly weaponized your crush on him to get what he wanted.
It ended up that his rolling skills were truly unmatched. You watched in awe as he crafted a pristine, perfectly fat blunt. You handled it like it was holy, almost too nervous to spark it. However the blonde managed to goad you into lighting it.
You took a puff and slowly breathed out a thick plume of smoke. You passed the blunt back and forth, watching as your exhales filled the room with a smoky haze. After five hits Dio slid off the couch and weaseled his way under the coffee table.
“I cannot be perceived on a visual level right now. Don’t look at me or there will be consequences.”
“Oh, alright. Well… Wanna hear something fucked up?” you asked, passing the blunt to Dio even though he was well beyond his limit.
You looked down at him, not heeding his previous request. You needed to see him, to experience his beauty. Anytime you got high with Dio you couldn’t help but think about how his lips would feel brushing up against yours, how his fingers would feel inside your cunt. Plus he looked so ridiculous, it was distracting. His feet and arms gracelessly stuck out from under the table, limbs too long for concealment.
He was never very good at keeping composure when smoking top-shelf shit.
“Of course,” he replied as he grabbed the blunt from you. His elegant fingers rubbed up against yours and you felt lightheaded from his touch.
You giggled. “No one has ever made me come before.”
He poked his blonde head out from the table, his dark eyes radiating pity.
“Surely you’re joking.”
“Nope. I wish. Every sexual encounter I’ve had has been disappointing.”
“That’s tragic. Don’t tell me things like that,” he said, taking a hit.
You reached for it, assuming it was your turn, but Dio didn’t hand it over.
“You said you wanted to hear something fucked up!”
“I thought you’d talk about something fun like a car accident. What you said was just… sad.”
Dio took a sizable puff, blowing the smoke in your face. You scowled and snatched the blunt from him. He gazed up at you, his face adorned with a condescending smirk.
“I could make you come.” He stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Though I can’t imagine it’d be difficult.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, getting defensive.
He made grabby hands which you proceeded to kick away. He pouted and sighed. Seeing him like this was hilarious. You almost felt like getting Dio high domesticated him. He was a little slower, a little sweeter, but still somewhat of a gadfly.
“You seem easy.”
“What?!” you exclaimed while stubbing out the joint in an empty glass.
“No, not… not easy. I mean, hm.” He was choosing his words carefully. “You would probably come fast because you’ve never come… before.”
“Okay well I don’t know if you know this, but there is this thing called masturbation and people do it.”
“I, Dio, know what masturbation is.”
“So you just assumed I don’t masturbate? Is that the vibe I give off?”
“Stop saying so many words,” Dio groaned, resuming his place next to you on the couch. “Do you want to come or not?”
“Excuse me?”
Dio was getting annoyed with you and frustrated by his inability to articulate his thoughts to his liking. “You want me to make you come, right? That’s what you’re getting at.”
“Sure?”
He rolled his eyes.
“Lay down,” he ordered. “Take your shorts off.”
You were more than happy to do so. Quickly you pulled your shorts off along with your underwear and threw them across the room. You grabbed one of the pillows and placed it on the arm rest and reclined, letting your body sink into the cushions. Dio turned to you and got on his knees before settling into a modified child’s pose, leaving his head in your lap.
It was quite a view. You ran your fingers through his thick hair, watching the silky, golden strands slide between them. He looked angelic, though with a rather Luciferian feel.
“Has anyone ever gone down on you before?”
“Kinda? A guy tried, but gave up after like a minute.”
“That hardly counts,” he said, spreading apart your folds.
You had no witty retort so you kept quiet.
Dio slipped two fingers inside your cunt, pressing them up against your walls. When he pulled them out he sucked them clean, his eyes never leaving yours. He had apparently decided he could be perceived at this time.
“You taste divine.”
“Th—thanks? Thank you.”
He gave you a quizzical look and began to suck on your clit, deeming your comment unworthy of a response. You didn’t mind; you were too focused on how your clit throbbed in between his soft lips.
“That feels so good,” you mewled.
“I know,” he said, ego untempered even though he was high.
He flicked the tip of his tongue against your clit as your body bloomed with arousal. You watched as he lapped at your cunt, his back arched like a cat. It was such a contrived position, an attempt to maximize his allure, but it worked. He had you transfixed, a successful spell cast. You surrendered yourself to him and his enchanting looks.
With each languid lick, you felt as if you were ascending to a higher plane. You cursed Dio for being right. He had barely put in any work and you were already fighting back crashing waves of euphoria. It wasn’t necessarily better than masturbation, just different. Being able to lie back and let someone else do the work was a treat.
Your legs flexed and your toes curled as Dio tongued the side of your clit. He thrust three of his fingers inside you, curling them upwards almost as if he was beckoning your orgasm.
“Fuck,” you groaned.
You clenched your teeth and tried to stave off the warmth overtaking you. It was as if every cell in your body was drowning in pleasure. It all became too much to bear and you buried your face in your hands.
Dio let out a displeased groan.
“Did I tell you to stop playing with my hair?”
You uncovered your face and met his gaze. It was cold and unfeeling. You resumed running your fingers through his hair.
“That’s what I thought,” he muttered.
He began to fingerfuck you while he traced your aching clit with his tongue. You gritted your teeth and struggled not to clench your fists. The last thing you wanted to do was yank on his hair while his teeth were so close to your cunt.
“D—shit—Dio, I’m gonna—”
“Not yet,” he cooed.
“Fuck,” you moaned. “Please!”
He encircled your clit with his tongue and managed to squeeze his pinky inside you along with his fingers. You gasped, nearly choking on your own breath.
“Hush. Not yet,” he said sweetly.
You let out a pained groan as he kissed your clit. “I hate you.”
Like clockwork he grazed your folds with his teeth. Shockingly you didn’t hate the sensation.
“So good,” you mumbled, unable to form a complete sentence.
His eyes seemed to light up, like he was proud of what he was accomplishing.
Your orgasm wasn’t bombastic. You didn’t shriek Dio’s name or flop around uncontrollably. Your body felt tingly and your muscles tensed up. Your breathing quickened and you whined a little, begging for more.
Dio sat up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He plucked the blunt out of the cup and lit it, taking a drag. He then laid on top of you and cupped your cheek with one of his hands. He placed his lips on yours and pushed his tongue past your teeth. You let your tongue writhe against his as he exhaled the smoke in your mouth.
“Told you,” he whispered in your ear.
You blew the smoke in his face, making him wriggle his nose.
“Yeah, yeah. It was good,” you said, trying to act as if you weren’t beaming on the inside.
“Hmph. If you think that was good, wait until I fuck you.”
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shellyshellshell · 7 months
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Deadly Kiss: Part Five
Attn: Been dragging my ass around all day. Literally have things I need to do but I finished up this part of the story instead lol. I’ve come to terms with the fact this August fic is just smut with plot but hopefully that’s alright! Hope y’all enjoy!
Word Count: 2,180
Pairing: August Walker x Coworker Reader
Summary: August shows up at your apartment.
Warnings: 18+, sex (p in v), I guess I should say rough sex with this fic, squirting, multiple orgasms, being over fucked, hyperspermia, praise kink, after care, teeny smidge of soft August
Previous Part:
Part Four
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Over the weekend the agency was closed for pest control so you lazed around your apartment for the most part. You and August hadn’t figured out exactly how to manage brining in both Dominic and his dad so you’d have to revisit the idea next week. 
Sunday afternoon you were laid on the couch in your tank top and panties, catching up on some of your shows when there was a knock on your apartment door. You looked in the peephole to see who it was. There stood August outside your door. You supposed you should’ve been surprised he knew where you lived but you weren’t. 
You stood behind the door not to expose yourselves to any passerby’s and let him in. His gaze was heavy, predatory even upon you as you shut the door. “What are you doing here August?,” you asked. He came towards you until your back met the wall of your entryway. He pressed his body tightly against yours and you could feel he was already rock hard.  
“Well, I’ve been thinking about being buried deep inside of that tight little pussy of yours all week, and while I don’t mind period sex, I didn’t want to cause you any further discomfort. If my calculations are correct, it should be over though, and I couldn’t wait one more day to take what’s mine,” he growled. Suddenly, despite the heat coming off him, your body flamed with goose flesh. 
He didn’t give you any time to respond before brining his lips to yours. He kissed you hungrily while gripping at your body. His hands met your tank top and ripped it down the middle before sliding it down your arms. His kissed down your body before sucking your nipples causing you to whimper. He then gave your panties the same treatment your shirt got. 
He quickly got rid of his clothes before spinning you around and pinning you to the wall. He teased your entrance before diving in as he always did, hard and fast. You mewled at the sensation, feeling so full of him once again. “Ooooh fuck,” he groaned. He pulled you back slightly to grip your breast as he fucked into you. 
It didn’t take long for the coil within you to start tightening. “I can feel you tightening up for me Little One. You going to come for me like my good girl should?,” he rasped against your neck. “Fuuuck yes,” you moaned as gushed all over him. “You’re so, so good for me,” he praised before kissing your neck. 
He pulled out of you quickly making you whine before spinning you around and throwing you over his shoulder. He smacked your bare ass before carrying you to your bedroom. He laid you on the side of your bed having your bottom just at the edge before reentering you. He pounded into you as he held your hip with one hand and used another to rub your clit with his thumb. 
“Fuck, Little one. This is all I’ve wanted all fucking week. You splayed out so beautiful, so perfect all for me. You’re driving me crazy,” he admitted.  “You think I’m beautiful?,” you breathed. “Since the first day I saw you,” he replied as he ran he’s hands all over your body. He may have still been hammering into you but at the same time with his words and the way his hands ran over you, it was the tenderest he’d ever been with you. 
You could feel your second orgasm coming on quick. “August I’m going to come,” you gasped. “Come all over me,” he growled, and so you did. You moaned loudly as you soaked him. “Fuck yes,” he said before pushing you up on the bed. He held you close as he continued, sending you into another mind numbing orgasm. The feeling of his body pressed against you making you quake. 
He quickly rolled you atop him. “Ride me,” he demanded. This was new and the idea excited you so much you came within a few seconds of being on top of him. “Again,” he huffed. His eyes glazed over as he watch as you slide up and down his thick shaft. “Let me see you touch yourself,” he said. 
You rubbed your clit as you continued to ride him before squirting all over him once more. Your whole body shook as you collapsed on his chest. He began whining as he thrusted up into you. You thought he was surely about to meet his end but you didn’t realize how wrong you were. 
He fucked you for hours, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of your aching body. He finally had you on all fours as he stood at the side of the bed. He was begging you to come for him again. “Please, please come for me. Be my good girl. I want to feel you sucking me deep into you while you’re gushing all over me,” he pleaded. You were trying to tell him you couldn’t but all that fell from you lips were incoherent sobs.  
He flipped you over onto your back and continued. “Please, just one more,” he continued to beg. You groaned loudly as you came for him again. “That’s my sweet little good girl,” he praised. He let his hand rest on your chest as the other gripped your hip. He moaned loudly as he began to come. Once he started you didn’t think he’d ever stop. There was so much you could feel it leaking down your ass. Finally he grunted then pumped into you one more time before stilling. 
You felt hysterical as he pulled out of you. Still sobbing and shaking. “Hold on, Little One,” he said. He went to your bathroom and brought back a rag. He wiped you up before carrying you to the toilet. As you sat there you realized he was running you a bath. You wiped and tried to stand. “Easy,” he said, catching you under your arms as you knees tried to give out. 
He lifted you up and gently sat you in the tub. He waited for it to fill and turned it off. “I’ll be right back,” he said, brushing your hair back and kissing your forehead. You closed your eyes as you heard him wandering around the apartment. You thought you heard the washing machine start but weren’t sure. You were nearly asleep when he scooted you up and made room for himself behind you. 
“You alright?,” he asked as he held you. “I don’t know,” you replied softly. “Shit. I’m- I’m sorry,” he said as he softly ran his hands over your arms. He brought his hand under your jaw and leaned your head back and kissed you tenderly. Really you had thought about cussing him out for fucking you so intensely but when his lips met yours it all melted away. “What are we doing August?,” you asked when he pulled away. 
His eyebrows furrowed. “You’re mine,” he told you as he held your face. “Yes, but are you mine? Or am I just some plaything to you?,” you asked. You’d never felt so vulnerable in your entire life as you did right then waiting for his answer. “I’m all yours Little One, and you’re so much more than a plaything to me. I- I’m not good at saying what I feel. It’s easier for me to show you. I’m sorry I didn’t do a better job” he told you. “Okay,” you replied. 
August helped you wash up and dress before carrying you to the couch. You laid down and he covered you with a blanket. You began dozing off as you heard him in your kitchen messing about. When you woke up August was sat in the floor in front of you, just watching. At first you jumped, not expecting him to still be there. “I nearly fucking throat chopped you,” you grumbled, making him chuckle. “Suppose I deserve it,” he replied. 
“You really do,” you groaned as your aching body protested to sitting up. “I made dinner,” he told you. Your stomach suddenly growled loudly. “I was going to ask if you were hungry but apparently so,” he laughed. “You just fucked a week’s worth of calories out of me, August. I’m starved,” you replied lightly. “Come on,” he said, getting up and offering you his hands. You took them, allowing him to pull you up off the couch. He held you close for a moment before giving you a kiss. 
“Do that again,” you said. He kissed you softly again, making your lips tingle. He pulled back and smiled before doing it again. “You like when I’m tender with you, Little One?,” he asked. “Sometimes,” you admitted. “Alright… Let’s eat,” he said. 
You sat and inspected your plate. He’d taken the chicken breasts you had in your fridge and pan seared them. He’d cut up yours for you in to small strips. He paired it with some broccoli and some spaghetti that when you took a bite, realized he’d added some garlic butter and parmesan to. “Thank you,” you told him as you ate. “You’re welcome. Is it alright?,” he replied. “It’s good,” you told him. 
When you finished he cleared the table and cleaned your plates. “You want dessert? I saw you had some ice cream in the freezer,” he said. “I really just want to go to sleep,” you admitted. “Alright,” he said before carrying you to bed. You saw he’d found your spare sheets and made it neatly. He began removing his shirt and pants before crawling in next to you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. 
“You don’t have to stay,” you said quietly. “I’d like to, unless you want me to go,” he told you. “I don’t,” you said as you scooted closer. You laid your head on his chest, let your leg rest over top of his, and put your arm over his torso holding him tightly. He pulled you impossibly closer as you drifted off to sleep. 
The next morning you woke up to August shaking you gently. “Little One,” he whispered against your cheek before placing a kiss there. “Hmm,” you mumbled. “I need to run home and get a change of clothes before work,” he told you. “Okay,” you said, surprised he didn’t just get up and leave. “You should probably get up too so you don’t fall back asleep,” he added. You groaned. “I know,” he said running his hands over your body. 
You looked up at him. His eyes seemed to just bore right into you. There was a tiny brown fleck in the left one you’d never noticed before. “See something you like?,” he asked playfully. “I’m still trying to decide,” you teased before brining your lips to his. “Mmm,” he hummed as he brought you closer. You could feel he was slightly hard. “Uh uh. No way. Keep that thing away,” you said trying to push him away. “But he just likes you so much,” August said as he nuzzled into your hair. 
“Well he can like me from a distance today. I need at least two to three business days to recuperate,” you told him. “I wasn’t going to try anything Little One. I can’t help that though,” he said motioning down to his erection. “Okay,” you said relaxing a bit. Your body was too sore today. There was no way you could handle him. 
“I’d never do anything you didn’t want me to, you know that right?,” he asked. “Yes. I know you’re just very… needy sometimes. I don’t want to disappoint you, but I just can’t handle it today,” you told him. “You could never disappoint me,” he said, gently caressing your face. It felt like your heart was being squeezed. You were really taken away by this gentler side of him. He kissed you one more time before getting out of bed and pulling you with him. 
He stood you up, making sure you were alright before letting go. “Rise and shine Little One,” he said before smacking your ass causing you to yip. He chuckled lightly as he got his clothes on. You stood at the closet trying to figure out what you’d wear when he came up behind you. “This and this,” he said pulling some black slacks and a silky blue shirt. “Put your hair up today too,” he said, placing a kiss on your neck. 
You turned around and raised an eyebrow. “What? I think you look extra sexy with a ponytail,” he shrugged. “Yeah, yeah. Get out of here alright,” you said. “I’ll go when I’m ready,” he growled as he grabbed your bottom and pressed you against him. He kissed you languidly before looking at you. “Alright I’m ready now,” he smirked. “You just don’t like being told what to do,” you said as you started to dress. “Damn sure don’t. I’ll see you at work,” he said. “See you then,” you replied with a laugh while shaking your head. 
Part Six
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neverwanttofallasleep · 7 months
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I Never Want To Fall Asleep - Chapter 4
Word count: 7,109
For pairings, warnings, and disclaimer - see Masterpost
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Sunday, December 18th, 2022
London, England to New York, New York
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to London Heathrow International Airport. We are now boarding for Jet Blue flight 20 to New York City. Could all passengers in rows 17 to 26 please make their way to gate A17 and have your boarding passes ready. Thank you, and enjoy your flight.”
You stand up, grabbing your backpack from the seat next to you, slinging it over your shoulder.
“Don’t rush, Y/N. We’ve got heaps of time.” You look back at Jake, still lazing across the uncomfortable airport lounge seats, bag behind his head. 
You frown. “I’m in row 18, so I should go now.”
He grumbles, and leans over the back of the chairs to Danny on the other side.
“Hey, do you mind swapping with Y/N and sitting with Jules?” He asks.
Danny looks up at you and smiles. “‘Course not. Here.” He reaches over, handing you his boarding pass. 
“No, Danny, you don’t have to do that.”
He waves his hand at you. “Come on, I insist. I love Jules, and besides, we’ve got lots of gossip to catch up on.” He looks to her where she’s standing next to you, and she gives him an exaggerated wink.
You huff. “Okay, fine. Thanks, Danny.” You take the paper from him and hand him yours.
Danny stands up. “It’s my pleasure. Shall we, Jules?”
As they walk away, you sit back down and check Danny’s ticket. 11C.
“Now we can sit together.” Jake smirks at you as you sit back down, closing his eyes again.
“Who else is in your row?”
He opens his eyes. “No one. I’d had it booked for Lily, but, y’know, she didn’t end up making it out.”
You nod. “Okay.”
When they finally call for rows 8 to 16, Jake reluctantly stands up and stretches. The two of you make your way to the gate, with Josh trailing behind.
You’d met with Lennon and Sam in the hotel restaurant for breakfast as they’d nursed their hangovers, catching you up on their escapades from the night before. When they’d badgered you about your holiday plans, you tried to keep it vague, mentioning you were planning to do a few things in New York.
It wasn’t entirely a lie.
Last night, when Jake had asked you to come to his family home for Christmas, you’d immediately said no. You’d pulled your hand from his, sat up in bed, and turned the lamp back on.
“Why on earth would I do that?”
Jake had chuckled. “’Cause I want you to be there?” He’d sat up too, propping himself against the headboard with a pillow.
You rolled your eyes. “And you told me off for referring to us as co-dependant.”
He’d laughed at you. “I know, I know. You were right. I know you don’t really have plans, and I didn’t think you’d be that crushed not to be spending the holidays alone in New York for the hundredth time. You’ve missed out on so many family Christmases. I want you to have a happy one.”
You scoffed. “That’s not the point, Jake. I can’t just crash Christmas with your family. Besides, I don’t want to be a seventh wheel. Sammy will have Lennon, Josh is bringing his new boyfriend, he already told me. And you’ll have Lily. I don’t know your sister at all. I’d feel so awkward.”
Jake had frowned. “Lennon’s not coming, she’s with her family. That’s why her and Sam are staying in London a bit longer. And, uh, Lily can’t make it this year. College.”
You hummed, still not really considering it. “I’ve never met your parents, or been to Michigan, for that matter. Where would I sleep? It’s not like I can share a twin bed with you, what would they think?”
He leaned over and twisted your hand so he could hold it. “You can sleep wherever you like, Y/N. I don’t care what they think. It’s none of their business.”
You’d groaned. “I can’t come to Frankenmuth to be your stand-in girlfriend. That’s ridiculous. I won’t be able to contribute anything and I’ll just get in the way.”
“You already know my brothers. Well, in fact. And they love you. And Ronnie and my parents will, too. You’ll feel right at home.” You turned your head to face him, his eyes earnest. “You don’t have to contribute anything. No one will expect gifts from you, and my mom always makes way too much food.”
“Won’t you be going to see your extended family? Or having them over? That’d just be too much.”
He’d shaken his head. “My grandparents host a dinner on Christmas Eve, but only my parents are going. Danny, my siblings and I have a tradition of watching Die Hard, and, y’know, ‘cause we’re not there that long this year, we managed to get ourselves out of it. You’d just hang out with us.”
“I have to go to New York. We have meetings when I get back. I still have work to do, my break doesn’t technically start ’til December 21st. I can’t just cut and run.”
He smiled. “That’s fine. I’m not going home ‘til the 20th, anyway. I’m going back to Nashville first to get my car. I’ll get you a flight on the 21st and I can come pick you up at the airport.”
You’d looked at him properly, then. His face was hopeful. You really felt like this could be a bad idea, and you didn’t know if it was appropriate, especially given the predicament you’d found yourselves in over the last few days. But the idea of spending Christmas with a family that was warm and inviting, friends you knew and trusted, it sounded so appealing.
The thought of waking up next to Jake on Christmas morning, even if it was the only time you’d ever get to do so, was magical.
“You really want me to come?”
He’d nodded. “I can’t really imagine it without you. You’re family.”
You smiled. “Okay, then. I’ll come.”
He’d laughed, and it sounded overjoyed. You felt a warmth spreading through your bones.
You switched off the lamp as he threw his arms around your waist, tackling you, still laughing, and pulled you down into him, wrapping his frame around yours and resting his nose in your hair.
“I can’t wait. It is the Christmas capital of the USA, you know. You’re going to love it.”
You’d giggled. You couldn’t wait, either.
But you weren’t sure how to broach the subject with Sammy and Lennon, so you didn’t. You assumed Jake would update his whole family before your inevitable arrival, and you didn’t feel like you should be the one to break the news.
You’d given them both big hugs and they’d wished you a happy holidays, making you promise to send photos of yourself in Times Square in the snow, and you’d laughed and wished them a good stay in London. Sam was driving up to Michigan on Thursday, so Jake had plenty of time to tell him.
Jake lets you take the window seat on the plane. You love being able to see the city as you take off, and you try and scavenge a window seat any time you can. He sits on the aisle, your bags on the empty seat between you.
As the plane takes off, you excitedly point out Big Ben to him, and the London Bridge. While the flight attendant isn’t looking, he slides across to the middle seat for a better view.
“Isn’t it amazing? All the places you hear about, read about in books or see in movies, right there. Underneath us!”
He chuckles at you. “Yeah. It’s pretty incredible.”
The flight isn’t too long, considering it’s international, only 8 hours. You sleep a little when you can, your head on Jake’s shoulder. You know that with the time difference, it’ll only be around 6pm when you touch down at JFK.
You watch a few episodes of The Office together, snacking on the tasteless airplane food, with Josh pestering you from the row behind every so often to share a funny passage of his book.
Once you finally land and disembark in New York, your legs are jelly. You’re so ready to roll straight into your new hotel bed. You collect your baggage from the carousel.
Jake, Josh and Danny have a connecting flight to Nashville, so you say your goodbyes in the airport as Jake hunts the board for their gate number.
“Ugh. Flight’s delayed, and we have to go to the domestic terminal to check our bags again. You should just head out from here, Y/N. Freddie and Jules are waiting for you. We’ll be fine.” Jake turns to Josh to check their flight details on his phone.
Danny wraps his arm around your shoulders.
“Have a safe flight, Danny.” You tell him, resting your head back against his chest.
“I will. It’s not me you have to worry about.” He chuckles, gesturing to the twins bickering in front of you. You turn your head to smile up at him.
Josh pulls you in for a big hug. “Happy Christmas, mama. May your days be merry and bright, and all that shit.” He waves his hands in the air, in very Josh fashion.
You giggle. “You too, Josh. Don’t forget to water my plants while you’re in Nashville.”
He waves you off. “That’s Jake’s problem. If you leave it up to me, they’ll die faster.” 
You and Danny laugh. You know he’s right.
Josh looks to Jake. “Just gonna run to the bathroom before we go, brother. Meet us over there.” He points to the bathroom down the hall, gives Danny a knowing look, and they disappear with a wave.
You turn to Jake and give him a small smile. “So, I’ll see you in a few days, then?”
“Yep. Wednesday. Only three sleeps. And you get to be an honorary Kiszka for the holidays. How exciting is that?”
You laugh. “Extremely. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too.” He grins. “Michigan will suit you.”
He leans in to you, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly, yours around his neck.
“Fly safe.” You whisper into his hair.
“I will. Enjoy New York.”
“I will.”
He kisses your forehead, and with that, he’s gone.
Monday, December 19th and Tuesday, December 20th 2022
New York, New York
Your three nights in New York go by too fast. One minute, you’re waking up in your new hotel room and getting dressed to head to the office for the crew debrief, the next minute, you’re repacking to head back to the airport. 
Over the few days you’re there, you have to attend two meetings for the tour. After the debrief on Monday, you receive itineraries for the US and Canadian legs, and instructions on where to meet for the rundown the next day. 
Monday evening you meet with your college friends, drinking in a dingy bar in Brooklyn until the wee hours of the morning. You have a wonderful time, sharing stories from tour and hearing about their lives in the city.
You also have a few work appointments, some in person and some virtual, meeting with the designers for alterations and getting to see some new designs. You’re complimented on your mending and maintenance by all of them, and they each thank you for keeping the integrity of their work.
“Some professionals with 20 years of experience can’t do repairs this well.” One of them says to you.
That makes you burst with pride, as you’d really tried your best to keep all the pieces looking as good as they did when they were handed over to you. Normal wear and tear was common, but it was your job to make sure no one noticed it.
After the second crew meeting on Tuesday afternoon, you, Julie and Freddie go out for dinner. Freddie snaps the obligatory picture of you and Jules in Times Square, snowflakes dusting your cheeks, which you quickly send to Lennon and Sam with the caption:
Right through the very heart of it, New York, New York!
You eat sushi at your favourite hole-in-the-wall Japanese restaurant, and toast to your incredible jobs with warm sake. You give them your handmade Christmas gifts, charcoal and white striped socks for Freddie, and a lilac crocheted headband for Jules.
“To keep your hair out of your face for work!” You tell her excitedly.
You’re so happy, you love these people so much. You feel so lucky.
Jake has texted you a few times. 
Sunday, 11.04pm Jake: Made it home. Flight was shit, delayed and lots of turbulence. Storm coming tonight, apparently. Hope you’re asleep. Talk tomorrow x
Monday, 2.43pm Jake: <voice message> ‘Hey. I’m in the car. I, uh, thought it would be a good idea to go to the fucking mall 6 days before Christmas. It was a goddamn nightmare, I’d even made a list and I still had to leave before I got everything. Some woman with a baby in a stroller literally took a book out of my basket at the bookstore. It was so fucked. I’m never going shopping again.’
He’d sounded very grumpy, and it made you giggle.
Tuesday, 11.16am Jake: <5 photo attachments> Plants are still alive, see? The monstera looked a little sad but I’ve left it sitting in the tub with some water. Picked up the books, wasn’t sure which ones you wanted so I just got everything on your nightstand. Hope thats ok. Josh and I heading straight home from here. Will let you know when we arrive x
8.35pm Jake: We made it. Hope you’re having a nice time at dinner. That photo of you and Jules is very sweet. See you tomorrow. Bring all the warm things you have x
After dinner, you and Julie hole up in your hotel room, drinking beers from the mini-bar and eating the complimentary chocolates in your pyjamas.
You unload your tote bag full of summer clothes from tour onto her, and she promises to keep them safe in her hotel room until you return.
“Fuck, I’m gonna miss you so much. Freddie is gonna bore me to death. If I have to hear about his damn ex from Atlanta one more time…”
You laugh and slap her leg. “You’ll be fine, Jules. It’s less than two weeks, and you’ve got the weekend with your parents to look forward to. They’ll be here before you know it, and then I’ll be back here on the 2nd, and we’ll have as many girls nights as we can squeeze in when we’re back on the road.”
She smiles and rests her head on your shoulder. “Are you gonna be okay, babe? Christmas with his family? Are you sure that’s what you wanna do?”
You sigh. “Yeah, I’m sure. He really wants me there, and I wanna go too. I really miss family Christmases, and I can’t stand mine, so…”
She laughs. “As long as you’re sure.”
“I am.”
“Then have the best fucking time. Send me all the updates. God, I wish I had a rockstar boyfriend to take me to a cute as fuck Christmas town for the holidays.”
You giggle and rest your head on top of hers. “He’s not my boyfriend. But I will. Thanks, Jules.”
Wednesday, December 21st
Detroit, Michigan to Frankenmuth, Michigan
You turn on your phone as soon as the flight attendant gives you permission via the overhead announcement. 2.28pm. You’re taxiing now, and you can see the snow dusting the sprawling green fields around the airport through your tiny window. Jake’s texted to let you know he’ll be waiting for you at domestic arrivals, and you start to feel nervous.
You disembark the plane, making your way through the gate to the luggage carousel. Your bag is one of the last to come out, which just gives you more time to stand around, tapping your foot anxiously. 
You don’t really know why you feel so nervous. You guess it’s not really about seeing Jake, but more about going to his home. Seeing where he grew up, meeting the rest of his family. It all feels very personal, like you’re about to see a side of him not many get to see.
You’re excited to spend time in the Midwest, see the Great Lakes, explore parts of your country you’ve never been to before. But you’re most excited to spend your favourite holiday with your friend. 
Your best friend. That’s what he is.
You wonder if he feels the same way about you.
When you finally see him, you feel a weight lifted. Being in his presence is instantly comforting.
When he sees you, his face lights up.
“You made it!” He pulls you off the ground into a hug.
“I made it! I’m in Michigan!”
“You’re in Michigan!” He laughs bewilderedly, as if he can’t quite believe it.
Neither can you.
He sets you down, and takes your bag as you head out to the parking lot.
You nudge his shoulder with your own. “Who would’ve thought it, hey? The famous Jake Kiszka,  guitarist extraordinare, bringing his tour wardrobe coordinator to Frankenmuth for Christmas with Mom and Dad.” You giggle.
He scoffs and wraps his arm around you. “Y/N, you’re not just our wardrobe coordinator. You’re my friend. I’m so happy you’re here.”
You blush deeply. “I’m happy to be here, too, Jake.”
“I’m glad. Wouldn’t have wanted you to come all this way and have a terrible time, y’know.”
You chuckle. “Well, it hasn’t really started yet. I might have an awful time. At least the flight was only an hour and a half. Not too much of a waste.”
He rolls his eyes as he pops the trunk of his Jeep and loads your bags.
You whistle. “Forgot you had such a fancy car.”
He laughs. “Yeah. I haven’t been using it much, but it’s good for driving up here.”
“I bet.” You nod, and climb in.
“You hungry?”
“Yeah, actually. Starving.” As you speak, you hear your stomach grumble. You look at him sheepishly.
He chuckles. “Sounds like it. Let’s get you some food.”
Jake stops for drive-through at the first fast food restaurant you pass, an unspoken agreement that neither of you wants to delay your journey to Frankenmuth any more than necessary. He orders for you, a cheeseburger, fries, and a strawberry shake, and then gives you a questioning look, as if to make sure he hasn’t overstepped. You nod, smiling. Your belly does a little flip. 
When you’re back on the highway, you sip your milkshake, staring out the window, admiring the never-ending rolling greenery bordering the road. Jake’s playing his music through the car stereo, and you smile each time you recognise a song. Some of it folky, some classic rock. All of it the perfect soundtrack for this beautiful drive.
The further north you go, the denser and more lush the trees become, with more snow dripping from the branches. You talk about your favourite Christmas traditions, which movies you watch, what carols your parents play, what you like to eat around the holidays. You tell Jake about your favourite childhood Christmas, when you managed to rope your entire family into a production of the nativity scene. None of your family were religious, but you were so excited after learning about it at school, so they indulged you. You organised the whole thing, and made all the costumes, of course. Your two uncles and your grandmother were the three wise men. Your parents played the donkey, your mom the head, and your dad the tail. Your aunt was pregnant at the time, so naturally she was cast as the Virgin Mary. You were eight.
Jake tells you about how he and his siblings would always perform Christmas concerts for their family as kids. As he put it, he was the only one who ever knew how to play anything remotely good, but Josh would bash the drum kit, and Sam and Ronnie would sing bluesy renditions of Christmas carols. Sometimes their dad would join them on the harmonica. His favourite one was when he was nine, when he and Josh learned how to play ‘Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree’, because it was Sam’s favourite. Sam got so excited that he tried to sing along with a mouthful of jell-o and ended up with it all down his front.
You feel so warm when he talks about his family. You love to hear about his past, the stories and experiences that make him who he is.
You’ve been mostly quiet for this last half hour, only making a few comments about how pretty the scenery is, him humming in agreement. You’ve busied yourself with your knitting, and you’ve almost finished Danny’s scarf.
You look over to Jake, and find him looking back at you. He quickly flicks his gaze back out the windscreen.
“Eyes on the road, Kiszka.” You scold.
He blushes and clears his throat. “Not long now. About 20 minutes. It’ll take a bit longer, but do you want me to drive through town so you can see it?”
You grin. “Absolutely.”
The main township is only a few minutes from the highway, and you gasp as he drives through the centre of it. You point out a beautiful old building, flowers and trees surrounding a circular driveway, right in the middle of the main street.
“What’s that? It’s so pretty!” You look over at him excitedly.
Jake laughs. “That’s the visitors' centre. That’s the point, I guess.”
Your smile grows wider and turn back out your window.
The town is exactly as you’d expected, and it really does feel like little Bavaria. Cute, peaked roofs and quaint European street signs. Every lamppost is decorated with Christmas lights, snow covering the sidewalks, and there are locals wandering around on their afternoon errands, bundled up in coats and hats. It’s like magic.
“I feel like I’m in a Christmas movie!” You giggle.
Jake laughs.
He even takes you past his old high school, pointing out the music rooms where he’d used to have jazz band practice. It makes you smile to see him so proud of his hometown, and so excited to be sharing it with you.
When he’d told you stories about Frankenmuth on tour, he’d always complained about the tourist traps and the kitschy architecture, but seeing him in it, he really seemed like he belonged. And even if it was just the nostalgia or the familiarity, it really seemed like he loved it here, too.
You finally make your way back out of town, and he lets you know when you’re nearing his street.
“They know I’m coming, right?”
Jake laughs. “Yes, they know you’re coming. I texted Mom when you said yes. And I told Josh and Kai on the way up yesterday.”
You nod. “Kai? That’s the new boyfriend, right?”
“Yeah! I think you’ll really like him.” He smiles. “He’s cool, grew up in LA so he’s definitely out of his element here, y’know. But he’s really nice, and him and Josh are good together. Balance each other out. You’ll see.”
You feel warm hearing Jake talk about Kai. You know first hand how strong he and Josh’s bond is, so you figure their relationships with their twin’s partners must have to be so important for them. Given their twin telepathy, you can’t imagine Josh would ever choose someone Jake wouldn’t approve of, and vice versa.
You’d never met Lily in person, but you’d heard stories from Josh, Sam, and Danny. Jake didn’t talk about her much. She’d grown up in Frankenmuth too, and from what you knew, it sounded like she’d been in and out of Jake’s life for a while before they finally got together during senior year. She came from a wealthy family, and she’d always been interested in commerce and law, but her love of literature and art was what she and Jake had bonded over.
Josh had mentioned to you once that Lily had taken him to painting classes as a birthday gift. She sounded perfect, and you were secretly glad she wasn’t going to be here this year. You’re sure you would get along, if Jake liked her, then so would you. But you were glad you wouldn’t have to live in her shadow, and even though you knew your relationship with Jake would have to change eventually, you were happy to play pretend with him for just a little while longer.
As Jake pulls into the driveway, your nerves flood back. You’re all of a sudden terrified of meeting his parents, his sister. You feel like you’re going to stick out like a sore thumb. It’s different for Kai, you’re not Jake’s partner, and you’re probably never going to be back here again. You’re just a temporary guest, a work friend, with no future in this family.
Jake pulls the keys from the ignition and looks over at you, placing his hand over yours on your knee.
“It’s going to be fine. I want you here with me. That’s all that matters.”
You nod, a little shaky. “Yep, I know. It’s gonna be great.”
He chuckles. “It is. Take a deep breath. There’s nothing to be worried about.”
He gets your bags from the trunk and you follow the path up to the house. As you’re approaching the steps, the front door swings open.
“My baby is here! Come here, Jakey, give your momma a hug!” Jake laughs and puts your things down on the porch, walking right into his mother’s arms.
“Oh, honey, I’ve missed you!” She coos, rubbing circles on his back.
“Missed you too, Mom.” He takes a step back. “This is my friend, Y/N.” He looks at you. “Y/N, this is my mom, Karen.”
She opens her arms to you. “So good to meet you, sweetheart. Jake’s so happy you could make it, and so am I!” She embraces you in a sweet, motherly hug, and you instantly feel calm.
Everything was gonna be okay.
When you step back, you look at Jake questioningly.
“Didn’t you get here last night?”
He laughs as he grabs your bags and Karen ushers you into the house. “Yeah, I did. But Mom was out of town at our aunt’s place. She only got home while I was out getting you.”
“You can imagine how excited I was to get home to my kiddos, only to discover half of them weren’t even here!”
You look toward Jake guiltily and he cracks a smile. “Well, I’m here now, momma. And Sam will be here tomorrow, so you’ll have all of us together.”
She grins, a huge smile that lights up her face. “Yes, I will. And don’t worry, Y/N, I’m not upset that Jake went to go pick you up. But you can understand, if have to be stuck with only one of my boys, Josh certainly is the most painful.” She laughs.
“Already telling Y/N who your favourite child is, momma? Geeze, let her breathe. She’s only been in the door 30 seconds.” Josh pokes his head out into the entryway.
You give him a small smile. “Hi, Josh.”
He comes out and sweeps you up into a hug. “Well, you certainly pulled a fast one on us. I take back the Merry Christmas I wished you at the airport. Gotta save it for the real thing.”
You giggle. “Yeah, sorry about that. Thought Jake should probably tell you himself.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry, lover. The more the merrier!”
Two new faces now poke out from the room Josh has just emerged from.
The small brunette girl smiles at you, her long, golden brown hair flowing down her back.
“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Ronnie.”
“Nice to meet you too, Ronnie.” You grin at her. She looks so much like Jake.
The other, a tall, dark haired man walks over to Josh and places his hand on his waist.
Josh looks up at him and then back to you.
“And Y/N, this is Kai.”
He has a sweet smile. “Hey, Y/N. Glad you’re here. Takes the pressure off a bit, I reckon.”
You giggle. “Hey, Kai. Glad to be of assistance.”
Jake looks to Karen. “Where’s Dad? I thought yesterday was his last day of work.”
Karen sighs. “Nope, they managed to rope him into staying ’til Friday. He should be back around 6, so you’ll see him for dinner.”
Jake nods. “Alright. Y/N, lets get your bags upstairs, hey?”
You smile at everyone as they trudge back through to what you assume is the living room, Karen giving your hand a sweet pat, and you follow Jake up the stairs.
The first door at the top of the staircase reads ‘Sammy’ in little wooden letters. You smile. You follow Jake down the hall and to the left, and he swings open the door.
“Welcome to my room.”
You giggle. 
It’s quite a large bedroom, and when you look around, you see walls covered in band posters, a stack of vinyls in one corner. The walls are painted a navy blue with white trim, and there’s glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. There’s a desk, piled high with books, and guitar rack with a few acoustics and one electric. There’s two dressers, overflowing with clothes, and one closet in the corner that also looks like it’s bursting at the seams. 
Against the two far walls, there are two twin beds.
One of them is made up neatly, fresh towels on the end. The books Jake picked up from your house sitting on the nightstand. The other, the one under the window, looks mussed up, and you guess this must be where Jake slept last night.
You linger in the doorway as he puts your bags down on the untouched bed.
“Is this yours and Josh’s room?” You ask.
He chuckles. “Yeah. He and Kai are on the fold out in the basement, though. So it’s just you and me in here.”
You walk over and sit down on the made bed, nodding.
Jake sits on his bed. “Is it what you expected?”
“Yeah, I think so. I don’t know, really. You never told me you and Josh shared a room.”
He laughs. “Didn’t I? Sorry. I think it’s why I like sharing a bed so much, y’know. Grew up with snoring 5 feet away from me. Now I can’t sleep without it.”
You give a little smile. “That makes sense.”
He frowns. “You don’t snore, Y/N. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, no, it’s okay.” You look at him. “I’m just a little overwhelmed, is all.”
“Were you expecting we’d share a bed?” He’s looking you over, as if trying to read your mind. “‘Cause I kinda wasn’t sure if you’d want to. I didn’t know if you were joking, what you said at the hotel. If you want, y’know, you can share with me anyway. At least with two beds in here, no one will have to know.” He grins.
“It’s okay, Jake. Really. We don’t have to share. We’ll have each other’s company, anyway.”
He nods. “Alright. Do you wanna, uh, unpack? Or do you wanna come downstairs? Up to you, no pressure.”
“Meet you down there in a bit?”
“Sure, no worries.” He smiles and leaves, closing the door gently behind him.
You don’t know what came over you just now. You guess you hadn’t really given too much thought to your sleeping arrangement, and you'd figured you’d either be bunking in Jake's bed or set up in a guest room, somewhere. You hadn’t imagined that you’d be just sharing a room, having him so close, yet just out of arms reach. That felt worse, somehow.
You’re here for 12 nights, which is kind of a long time, when you think about it. You’d originally only agreed to stay for Christmas, but Jake had talked you into staying on for Danny’s birthday celebrations and into the New Year, excitedly telling you about their plans to set off fireworks at the lake for New Years Eve.
“We’ve just spent one too many in cities, y’know. We need a break this year. It’ll be just us, no party or anything. You’ll love it.” He’d said, trying to convince you, and you’d eventually agreed.
As you unpack a few things onto the nightstand, plugging in your phone charger, you centre yourself. This will be fine. This is what you signed up for. You’re going to have a great time.
You eventually make it downstairs to find everyone in the living room, Joni Mitchell playing on the record player by the fireplace. Kai is on the recliner, Josh sitting on the ottoman between his feet. Jake and Ronnie are sitting at opposite ends of the couch, and when Josh sees you, he gestures to the spot between them.
“Come sit down! We’re catching Ronnie and Kai up on tour stories. I’m sure Y/N has plenty to share about how she deals with us troublesome boys on the road.” Josh cackles.
You giggle, sliding in next to Jake, and he leans over to you.
“Want a drink?”
“Uh, yeah, yes please. What are you having?” You eye his glass.
“Scotch, but there’s beer and wine in the kitchen. What would you like?”
You hum. “Beer sounds good, thanks.”
You all spend a few hours chattering and catching up, getting to know Kai and Ronnie. Jake and Josh boast about you to the others, commending you on their costumes. You brush it off, clarifying you were just maintaining the work of the designers. In turn, you compliment the boys on their music, calling out your favourite songs or particular performances from Europe that you'd loved. 
When Kelly, Jake’s dad, arrives home, Karen calls you all in for dinner. You migrate to the dining table, where Karen, Ronnie, and Jake serve everyone’s plates, and you all end up with huge helpings of roast chicken and vegetables.
“Thanks so much, Karen. This all looks delicious.” You give her a warm smile.
“Yeah, thanks, Mom, but why did you make a roast? Won’t we be having like 3 more roast dinners over the weekend? You didn’t have to go all this trouble, I would’ve been happy with something simple.” Josh looks perplexed.
Karen laughs, and Kelly answers. “Your mother loves to cook for her family. Any night with you kids here is a special occasion.”
You all laugh.
Josh scoffs. “Unlike you, Dad. Last night we were left to fend for ourselves. Kai and I had to eat instant ramen.”
“Oh, hush, Joshua. You’ve made a terrible impression on our guest.” Karen scolds. “We’re not usually such bad hosts, Kai.”
Kai shrugs. “I didn’t mind it.”
Jake shakes his head at Josh. “Well, maybe if you’d learned how to cook, that wouldn’t be a problem.” He looks to Karen. “Thanks, momma. It’s special for us, too.” He smiles, and his hand brushes your thigh under the table, where he leaves it to rest.
You feel your cheeks warming.
Karen reaches over to pat Jake’s other hand. “You’re welcome, baby. Any time.”
Kelly pours the wine and raises his glass. “To my beautiful children, and their friends and partners,” he smiles at Kai, and then at you, “thank you for being here. We’ve missed you very much and we’re so proud of you. Welcome home.”
Karen looks like she might cry. “One more night, and I’ll have all of you under one roof.”
You all cheers, and dig in.
After dinner you’re all left sufficiently full, Josh collapsed on the couch in a food coma with his head in Kai’s lap. Ronnie goes to retire to her room, she flew in from Chicago this morning and is ready for bed. You wish her good night and she gives you a hug, telling you how great it was to meet you.
“My brother is so happy you’re here. Couldn’t stop talking about it last night.” She says in your ear.
You pull back, blushing. “I’m glad to be here, too.”
She pulls you aside, out of earshot of Jake and her parents talking in the dining room.
“I know about him and Lily’s arrangement, you know, so I won’t pretend I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you.” She smiles. She doesn’t look upset with you, but there’s something underlying her tone. “Don’t worry, Mom and Dad have no idea. Just… be careful. I know my brother, and I know he often bites off more than he can chew. He’s got a big heart, and he doesn’t know where to put all that love. Don’t let yourself get in over your head.” 
You nod, her words dropping like rocks in your stomach.
“We’re not sleeping together.” You say quietly.
She hums. “All the more reason. No sex, and he’s this attached to you? Just don’t do anything you can’t get yourself out of. Lily will come back, she always does.” 
She gives you a small wave and heads upstairs.
You feel sick. Everything Ronnie said, you already knew. You just didn’t want to have your suspicions confirmed. Honestly, you were surprised Josh hadn’t given you the same talk.
After cups of tea and biscuits at the dining table with Jake’s parents, you decide it’s time for you to go to bed, too.
You stand up, and Jake follows suit. 
“I’m gonna head upstairs. I’m exhausted.”
He nods. “Alright, me too.”
You give him a small smile. “Good night, Karen. Thanks again for having me here. I really appreciate you making the room.”
She huffs and waves her hand at you. “Don’t be silly, sweetheart. It’s our pleasure. You’re so important to Jake, so you are to us, too. If you need anything, just let me know.” 
She stands up and comes around the table to give you both a kiss on the cheek.
“‘Night, Mom.”
Kelly doesn’t get up, but he smiles warmly at you both.
“‘Night, kids.”
“‘Night, Dad. Thanks for the bourbon.” Jake grins.
“Good night, Kelly. Thanks again.”
He nods. “Sleep well.”
You make your way upstairs, Jake on your heels.
You collect your t-shirt and shorts for bed and toiletries from your duffle, and Jake points you in the direction of the bathroom.
You have a hot shower, and it soothes the anxiety radiating through you. Once you get out and into your pyjamas, you comb out your hair, leaving it out to dry while you sleep. You brush your teeth, applying some skin care, and giving yourself one final once-over in the mirror.
You head back to Jake’s room and find him already in bed, curled up with one of your books, reading glasses on. You giggle.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear glasses.” You say, shutting the door behind you and padding over to Josh’s bed.
He looks up from the page and smiles at you. “I don’t really on tour. I’m always so tired I never really get to read, y’know.”
“They suit you.”
“Well, thanks.”
You slip under the covers, scrolling through Instagram for a while. You send a text to Jules to let her know you made it here safely, and everything was all good.
A few times, Jake breaks the quiet, reading a you passage from the book that he thinks you might like. You don’t tell him you’ve already read that one, but he chooses all your favourite parts anyway. You like to hear him read aloud. 
After 20 minutes or so, Jake switches off the light, and you plug in your phone, curling up in the small bed.
“Are you happy you came?” Jake speaks into the dark room.
“Yeah, of course. Your family are so nice. I feel really welcome.” You’re glad he can’t see your face.
“Good, I’m glad. Are you comfortable over there?”
You giggle. “Yep, snug as a bug.”
He laughs too, and it’s silent for a few minutes.
“I’d hoped you’d want to share with me. My bed, I mean. Sleeping by you, it’s different than with Josh. I just like knowing here’s there. But with you, it’s more. I like to have you next to me.”
You hum. “Is it really okay for us to be doing that, though? Here, in your parents house? I know on tour you’re like a free agent or whatever, but don’t you share that bed with Lily, when she’s here? Doesn’t it feel weird to you?”
He sighs. “I’ve told you, Y/N. I need you. I don’t really have an answer to any of that, I guess I should feel weird, or guilty, or whatever. But I don’t. All I know is that you make me feel happy, and comfortable. And I know you’re only just over there, but, I miss you.”
You feel like you might be about to cry. You miss him, too. You just keep hearing Ronnie’s words on repeat: ‘don’t let yourself get in over your head.’
The problem is, you already have.
After deliberating in silence for a few minutes, you pull back your covers, quietly padding over to Jake’s bed. It’s dark, but there’s enough moonlight coming through the window that you can see his face on the pillow. He looks sleepy, but he smiles widely, and scoots over toward the wall, holding the blankets back for you.
You slide in, and the bed suddenly feels very, very small. You do your best to stay on your half, but he’s facing you, and you can feel the entirety of his front pressed against your side.
“It’s okay.” He mumbles. “The bed is small. We can cuddle.” He puts his left arm over your tummy, his right sliding under the pillow behind your head. You breathe out a deep sigh and scoot down, letting your head be level with his chest. You turn to face him, inhaling his smell, wrapping your arm around his middle, tangling your legs with his. He’s wearing a t-shirt and boxers, and you thank the heavens he didn’t decide to sleep shirtless tonight.
You finally feel yourself relax, all the stress from the day washed away now that you’re here in his arms. You belong here. You belong to Jake, all of you, especially your heart.
But, as you’re falling asleep, you have to remind yourself. He doesn’t belong to you.
Chapter 5
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velvetgoldminecherry · 2 months
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*Sasori and Deidara laying in bed and wrapped in sheets, lazing on a sunday afternoon, while Sasori gently kisses all over Deidara’s freckles*
Deidara *chuckles and blushing softly*: Danna! Stop doing that, you’re tickling me!
Sasori *smiling and keep kissing Dei over and over again*: I can’t help it my love *kisses him* You are just so beautiful *kiss* That I can’t have enough of you *kiss* I love all your little freckles and your tiny nose *kiss* and your silky lips *kiss* and your stunning blue eyes
Deidara *holding Sasori’s face between his hands*: Sasori you big corny idiot, you're one to be talking about beauty, you’re just so gorgeous my man. But, why are you so obssesed with my freckles anyway?
Sasori *smiles and rubs his nose against Deidara’s*: I don’t know my love, I just think they make you look adorable, in fact I could marry them if I could
Deidara *getting closer to him*: Or you could just marry me so you can have my freckles next to you every single day of our lives
Sasori: Is that so? Well then my sunshine. Would you give me the honor to.became your husband and allow me to make you happy for the resto of our lives?
Deidara: Oh Sasori my love! Of course I wi-
Hidan *screaming and hitting the wall*: For Jashin sama's sake! This is the third time this week! You two have been married for almost ten tears you godamn homosexuals!
Sasori *picking up a poisoned kunai*: Get ready to meet your creator Hidan
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thegettingbyp2 · 2 years
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Hi love! I have an idea for an Anthony Bridgerton x reader fic
They are married and one day while Anthony is out she has an accident, and maybe they can’t find him and when they do it has been like 3 hours so he doesn’t really know what happened and how she is?
I Did This
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‘Do you really have to leave today, my Lord,’ you whined as you rolled over in bed to rest your head on your husbands chest as you lazed about in the cool breeze that was blowing through your window on a warm Sunday morning. You were on your honeymoon in Aubrey Hall and Anthony’s brothers, Benedict and Colin, we coming to join your husband on a hunting trip.
‘I believe you’re the one who encouraged me to go and spend some time with my brothers this afternoon, my love,’ Anthony replied, humming happily as he wrapped his arm around you, holding you close to him.
‘Well you shouldn’t listen to me,’ you laughed lightly.
‘I’ll remember that for next time,’ he said, kissing the top of your head before getting out of the bed. ‘I won’t be long and when I get back, I want you waiting here in this bed for me,’ he leant down to kiss you deeply before he had to physically pry himself away from you.
After he had left, you decided that instead of wandering around the house all day, waiting for Anthony to return back home, you were going to take your horse for a ride around the grounds. You got changed into something a bit more suitable for horse-riding and headed down to the stables on your own, telling the maid that you wouldn’t need anyone with you because you weren’t planning on leaving the grounds of the house.
‘Hi, handsome,’ you said gently to your horse, running your hand lightly along his nose and giggling when you felt his nose press back against you. ‘It’s been a while hasn’t it?’
As soon as you had everything in place, you hopped on the back of the horse and slowly started to make your way over to the big field that was behind the house. When you reached the field, you finally allowed yourself to speed up slightly, laughing in delight at the feeling of the wind brushing through your hair and you vowed to yourself that you were going to come out with your horse more often; maybe you could bring Anthony sometimes.
You had been riding for a while, allowing yourself to completely relax and let the horse gallop around, only needing you to direct him every now and then, when you heard a gunshot. The loud noise spooked the horse and as he reared up onto his back legs, you felt yourself be thrown from the saddle, landing funny on your wrist and hitting your head quite hard on the solid ground; rendering you unconscious.
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‘We’ll have to start doing this more often,’ Anthony said to Benedict with a pep in his step as the two brothers headed towards Aubrey Hall to have a drink; Colin declining the offer, preferring to get straight home.
‘That would be down to you, brother,’ Benedict replied, clapping his hand on the back of Anthony’s shoulder, causing his older brother to chuckle, ‘you are the married one now after all.’
‘Yes, and as soon as you leave, I shall head straight back to my darling wife.’
‘You seem happy,’ Benedict said simply, noticing how relaxed Anthony now seemed.
‘I am. For the first time, I think that I am truly happy.’
The two brothers walked through the doors to Aubrey Hall and immediately noticed the sombre tone from the butler who was waiting for them.
‘Is everything okay?’ Anthony asked the butler as he shrugged his jacket off, handing it to the butler who had his hand out, waiting to take the jacket.
‘Lord Bridgerton, while you were out, Lady Bridgerton was brought back to the house injured and unconscious. She hasn’t woken up yet.’
‘What do you mean? She wasn’t going anywhere, what happened, where is she now?’ Anthony asked, panic seeping into his voice.
‘She is resting in your bed chambers, my Lord, the doctor is still with her. He wanted to wait until you returned so he could tell you what happened.’
Anthony bolted to the stairs, taking them two at a time as he raced to get to you as quickly as he could, Benedict hot on his heels. Both brothers crashed into the room and Anthony felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw your body, looking so small, lying in the centre of your shared bed, your wrist wrapped tightly and a faint stain of blood on the pillow beneath your head.
‘What happened?’ Anthony asked lowly, staggering over to sit on the edge of the bed, gently taking your hand that wasn’t bandaged in both of his, staring down at you.
‘One of the grounds gardeners brought her back to the house earlier this afternoon, claiming that he found her unconscious and bleeding on the ground. He said that he saw Lady Bridgerton riding her horse when a gunshot sounded, spooking the horse which caused him to throw the Viscountess off; they’re out looking for the horse as we speak, Lord Bridgerton.’
‘Will she be okay? When will she wake up?’ Anthony asked, his skin whiter than a sheet, not taking his eyes off of you.
‘She should make a full recovery with bed rest. As for waking up, I’m afraid that it’s hard to say, she could wake up later today or she could wake up weeks from now, possibly-’
‘Thank you,’ Anthony interrupted, knowing how that sentence was going to end and not wanting to hear it. He couldn’t think about the fact there was a possibility that you wouldn’t wake up. The doctor quietly excused himself from the room after informing Benedict to call upon him if your conditioned worsened, knowing that anything he said to Anthony, he wouldn’t remember in that moment.
The door closed and Anthony let out a shaky breath, his head lowered. ‘I did this,’ he said brokenly, tears starting to fall from his eyes.
‘How on earth did you come to that conclusion?’ Benedict asked, lowering himself into the seat by your bed, looking at his brother.
‘He said it was a gunshot that spooked the horse and we were the only ones shooting on the ground. I didn’t think she was going to leave the house while we were out, she said she was going to the library or I would have arranged for us to go elsewhere.’
‘Exactly. The doctor said a gunshot, not your gunshot brother. For all we know, the gun could have been from somewhere outside the grounds of this house, you can’t blame yourself for this.’
Anthony laughed coldly. ‘I made a promise to her that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her; it was a part of my vow to her on our wedding day. Just this morning, she asked me not to leave, if I’d have known-’
‘Anthony, you can’t protect her every hour of everyday, it’s impossible. You love her and she knows this, that’s enough, brother.’ Benedict said softly, standing up and placing a comforting hand on his older brother’s shoulder. ‘I’ll head downstairs and give you two a moment.’ He said before leaving the room.
 Now he was alone in the room with you, Anthony allowed his tears to fall more freely, lifting your hand to his lips and placing a soft kiss to the inside of your palm, holding your hand against his cheek. ‘I’m so sorry, my love. I love you,’ was all he managed to utter before moved to sit in the chair, placing his elbows on the mattress, your hand still encased in both of his, as he prepared to sit with you, wanting to be there when you woke up.
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simonezitrone79 · 5 months
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Why Brian May's guitar is my therapist and what I want to hear in S03
Thinking I'm over it, what I'm still not because I couldn' cope with all the beautiful but sad Metas the last days, I'm listening to Queen more often than usual. Brian May's guitar sound/a.k.a. The Bentley can heal my after two months still suffering mind. And maybe my car turns into a Bentley when Queen's on repeat frequently enough.
Because the original GO Soundtrack would definitely bring me to tears, Queens "A night at the Opera" became my personal GO soundtrack. Surely my favorites "Good old fashion lover boy" and "Somebody to love" is missing, but the whole Album can tell the story and includes two songs I'd love to hear in S03.
The first song we hear on Good Omens from the Bentley is Bohemian Rhapsody, exepting the instrumental track God Save the Queen (which I absolutely adore), the last song on the album. It seems to be written for the TV-Show and "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me" fits perfectly when Beez is calling through the radio.
My absolute favorite is "I'm in love with my car" with Crowley driving through the flames "with style". The song has always been one of my top hits of the album, but the picture of Crowley getting out of the burning Bentley makes it even better.
"You're my best friend" is responsible for one of the biggest goosebump moments in S01. It's on when Crowley's driving to the bookshop looking for Aziraphale and finds it burning. After searching Azi unsuccessful, Crowley's mood changes to despair and so does the music to "Somebody to love".
Last but not least, "Lazing on a sunday afternoon" is played by the brass band when they meet at the park in S01/06.
The first track on the album, "Death on two legs", which is a revenge to Queen's former manager, is completely out of any friendship/love-context and not in the show. But it's so full of anger that I absolutely feel Crowley. Lyric lines as "You're tearing me apart" or "Kiss my a.. goodbye" really make me shiver. But besides, everything out there reminds me ofour two husbands.
And then, my two most wanted for S03, "The Prophet's Song" and certainly "Love of my life". The songs are connected on the album, what you don't get listening to them individually, what I think ist auch a great clue.
For me, The Prophet's Song is a masterpiece such as Bohemian Rhapsody with a similar sound. And the lyrics are as made for the show. It should usually get the title "People on the earth" and it's about a prophet warning earth's people against the end of the world. Brian May wrote it after dreaming of a big flood. We still have no prophet, but I'm pretty sure the people of Whickber Street will be warned about the 2nd coming.
Because I expect a really dark S03, here's an abstract of the lyrics:
Oh, oh, people of the earth
Listen to the warning
The prophet he said
For soon the cold of night will fall
Summoned by your own hand
Oh, oh, children of the land
Quicken to the new life
Take my hand
Fly and find the new green bough
Return like the white dove
He told of death as a bone white haze
Taking the lost and the unloved babe
Late too late all the wretches run
These kings of beasts now counting their days
From mother's love is the son estranged
Married his own his precious gain
The earth will shake in two will break
And death all around will be your dowry
"The Prophet's Song" fades out with guitar chords, that change to the Piano chords at the beginning of "Love of my life". And this song will hopefully bring the happy ending for us and the husbands.
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mxlfoydraco · 7 months
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For you ask game ✨: all for Draco!! 1, 4, 8, 9, 10, 33, 37 and 44
1. Canon I outright reject
That he married a woman. Yeah right lmao.
4. Favorite line
‘… everyone thinks he’s so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick –’
‘You have told me this at least a dozen times already,’ <3
8. Unpopular opinion about them
Draco wasn’t forced into being a death eater, he did want to become one. It was his parents who didn’t want him to.
9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character
Robe scene robe scene robe scene. He’s already such a snotty little peacock completely unaware of how tactless he is I adore him.
10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)
Ooh, listen I love how symbolic the white birb scene is in the HBP movie. The manor scene though…. Fiendfyre…. Sectumsempra… I’m fueled and fed….
33. Something guaranteed to make them cry
Scorpius. Draco will cry when he cries, when he laughs, because he’s cute, because he said papa, because fell asleep sitting up, because he’s just… existing? Just there?
37. What they really think about themselves
He’s the perfect narcissist. He’s simultaneously the best and the worst, but he’s also the best at being the worst.
44. Their happiest memory
It’s probably a really unassuming day. It’s a sunny sunday, he wakes up wrapped around Harry. They laze around in bed until afternoon, having soft slow sex. Then have a jam filled brunch. Draco does his crosswords while Harry fusses with his plants, he calls out to Harry when he gets stuck and plays with his ring as they go back and forth trying to guess the answer. They have nowhere to go and nothing to do. For a second he stops and thinks, this is my life. This is our life. He smiles and puts in the word Gulping Plimpies bc he wouldn’t have known that if it wasn’t for Harry’s hangouts w Luna.
Random Character Asks
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allthe-queens-men · 4 months
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okay so here are my anato opinions
under the cut for people who don't want negative takes
“Bohemian Rhapsody”
Perfect song. No notes.
Is probably actually the greatest song of all time.
“’39”
Nearly perfect song.
My only quibble is that Brian’s voice isn’t strong enough to cut through the music (on the verses in particular), but I think even this was fixed a bit on the remaster.
“Seaside Rendezvous”
This one is just fun. This sounds like probably the most fun they had on the album.
The “instrumental” section in the middle is especially a delight.
“You’re My Best Friend”
A really sweet song, definitely one of Queen’s better love songs.
The keyboard sound is really not very good and is the one bad mark on this song for me.
A little played out for me personally, would probably rank higher if I hadn’t heard it so many times.
“Death on Two Legs (Dedicated to…)”
I always want to like this song better than I actually do.
“You’ve taken all my money” is one of the most iconic moments in a Queen song, period.
There are some other really great lines in here.
And then there are some schoolyard taunts that are so lame they immediately take me out.
Could’ve done with another rewrite, get some better insults in there than “bad guy.”
(Also parts of the song sound weirdly off-beat? And it’s not the only one on this album either)
“I’m in Love with My Car”
Underwhelming when I’m used to the live performance.
Without getting to watch/hear Roger going beast mode all I have left are the stupid stupid lyrics.
The bane of the Roger Canon.
Still slaps though.
“Sweet Lady”
What a mid song.
The hook is actually really good though.
This is another song that sounds off-beat.
A prime example of what I’m gonna call the Brian Plod.
I still actually like it well enough not to skip, which is more than I can say about some of the others.
“Good Company”
The lesser of the Brian vocals on the album.
Very upbeat and can be fun in the right mood but kind of a slog to get through.
“Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon”
This song reminds me of Spongebob.
“Love of My Life”
I tried to remove it from all the context surrounding this song and especially how it was included in Bor Hap but I still don’t like it very much.
Not a big fan of Queen ballads in general.
Rhyme scheme pisses me off lol.
“God Save the Queen”
It’s an instrumental. It’s a decent instrumental, maybe even pretty good. I associate it with their concerts so that’s probably bumping it up.
“The Prophet’s Song”
I have almost nothing good to say about this song.
The lyrics are okay when they’re actually happening.
Absolutely should’ve ended at 3:30 but unfortunately there’s another 5 minutes after that.
The middle echoing section is nothing to me. It is absolutely vacuous when it isn’t unpleasant to listen to.
Sounds like Brian was tasked with/trying to write his own “Bohemian Rhapsody” and it didn’t work.
Also sounds like it could come off their first album which probably shouldn’t be happening on your fourth album.
General
I think this album has some really fantastic songs, some okay songs, and one just really not good song, and none of them go together. It’s the lack of cohesion that ruins it for me. I get nothing out of listening to this album all the way through, and for me that’s what makes it subpar as an album.
#op
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askwhatsforlunch · 2 years
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Pistachio Ice Cream
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I’ve indulged in quite a bit of frozen treats in this long hot Summer, happily tucking into Pineapple Frozen Yoghurt or, licking a spoonful of Basil Apricot Sorbet or Rose Ice Cream. But so far, I had managed without the ice cream maker. Until this weekend, where I thought of putting the bowl in the freezer. A momentous occasion, so it called for something a bit more fanciful than Vanilla Ice Cream (although I do love Vanilla Ice Cream!) Thus, I made Pistachio Ice Cream. I don’t often eat it; there are far too many tempting things at the ice cream parlour for me to pick it. Mum would though, as she is quite fond of it. And I reckon she would be quite fond of this one, too! So, I shall be lazing the sunny afternoon, eating my Pistachio Ice Cream and thinking of her! Happy Sunday!
Ingredients (makes about 1 pound):
1/2 cup shelled, unsalted pistachios
¾ cup double cream
¾ cup semi-skimmed milk
1 plump vanilla bean, split lengthwise
3 large egg yolks
¼ cup caster sugar
1 tablespoon white rum
2 tablespoons shelled pistachios
1/3 cup double cream
1 tablespoon white rum
In a large frying pan, toast pistachios over medium-high heat until just fragrant. Remove from the heat and let cool completely. 
Once cooled, spoon toasted pistachios into a food processor, and blitz until reduced into a powder, the consistency of coarse meal. Set aside.
In a medium saucepan, combine double cream and milk. Scrape seeds off the vanilla bean, and add both seeds and empty pod into the milk mixture. Bring to a simmer over medium heat.
Meanwhile, energetically whisk egg yolks with caster sugar until pale yellow and the mixture falls from the whisk like a ribbon. Gently pour a bit of the hot milk and cream mixture over the eggs yolks, whisking constantly. While still whisking, add the rest of the milk, until well-blended. Pour mixture back into the saucepan, and return over medium heat. Stir constantly with a wooden spoon until custard thickens, about 3 to 5 minutes. Remove from heat, and stir in white rum, mixing well. Then, thoroughly stir in pistachio powder.
Pour pistachio custard into a bowl, and cover with cling film directly on the custard to prevent a skin from forming. Chill in the refrigerator, at least three hours to overnight.
In a small frying pan, toast pistachios over medium-high heat until just fragrant. Remove from the heat and let cool completely.
Once pistachio custard is well chilled, pour cold double cream in a bowl and beat with an electric beater, increasingly increasing speed, until soft peaks form.
Gently fold whipped cream into pistachio custard, to loosen it. Fold in rum as well.
Pour mixture in the bowl of an ice cream maker and follow manufacturer’s instructions. Churning should take about 25 to 40 minutes.
Roaghly chop toasted pictachios.
Spoon Pistachio Ice Cream in an airtight container, sprinkling with chopped pistachios. Store in the freezer a couple of hours before eating.
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thedaveandkimmershow · 8 months
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Dang...
So July.
A definite crescendo of a month. Especially for one that starts off with explosions.
One month after moving back to the house after four years living on the Hill, it turns out the correct answer was...
Moving back to the house.
What can I say?
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The reasons that made the choice such a difficult one not even two months ago... weren't so tough to navigate after all. Especially the commute side of the equation. It actually does work better than we would've guessed. Plus... the house is super chill, very quiet. Which makes sense since I-5 doesn't run right in front of it. Plus, though the remodeling of the house wasn't actually intended for us, it sure makes the house more optimized for what we do and want.
So yeah. A great call.
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July fifth was our dating anniversary, the date of our establishing being July 5, 1990. Kind of a while ago. We lazed the morning. Went to see Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny at the Crest Theater, hit the Ballard GoodWill for some random browsing, derailed a trip to Trader Joe's by going to PCC across the street instead for orange creamsicles we subsequently enjoyed on the roof. Had a picnic on the shores of Smith Cove in front of Expedia. Did a walkabout of the Seattle Center for old time's sake. Finished off at Tapster on South Lake Union all—
On a sunny summer's day.
It was a fantastic dating anniversary.
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Moving through the month, the next big event was this year's 48 Hour Film Project competition with the Combat Wombats, the production team that was kind enough to invite me to be a Wombat a coupla years ago for their short film, "Cleaners". This year's effort, "PTAgent" was, yes, hard work and a delight for all of us. It also feels like we're getting better at this having begun the journey at a high level to begin with.
By the way, the 48 Hour weekend was also proof of something Kimmer created: my edit suite. This was basically the shakedown cruise for using the room as intended, including the space for clients.
Initially I was thinking the overstuffed couch should be replaced with something a more sleek. That is... until Saturday night and Sunday during the day when the weary director and producer of "PTAgent" put its overstuffed comfort to good use.
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The end of the 48 Hour extravaganza always features a dinner out with Kimmer. It's a tradition we didn't know was gonna be a tradition... but a tradition we started with my first 48 Hour Film Project editing "Cleaners", an experience that kept me up that particular Saturday night until 5AM Sunday morning and then up again by 9... four hours later. I think I finished with the edit around 4 that afternoon? At which point Kimmer offers dinner at Maggie Bluffs, our first such celebratory dinner with this year's, our fourth, at Las Brisas in Edmonds. ☺️☺️☺️
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The reward for our 48 Hour experience, of course, was the opportunity to watch our work on the big screen at the Uptown Cinema in lower Queen Ann where, once upon a time as a youngster, I watched Young Sherlock Holmes.
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Moving on, the second half of the month was definitely the most incredibly packed half. 
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So the 48 Hour Film Project competition began the evening of Friday, July 14 ending on the evening of July 16. Four days later, Thursday the 20th, Kimmer 'n I drive up to the neighborhood behind the Grand Avenue Park Bridge, park our car, and walk down to the Everett Marina where Linzy's performing with the band The Little Lies.
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Two days after that, Saturday, middle of the day, we join the band again at their Bite of Seattle performance that's taking place on one of the busiest weekends in Seattle history including but not limited to a Mariners game, the Capitol Hill Block Party, various cruise ship departures, and a Taylor Swift at Lumen Field mega concert. All of which conspired to bring everyone into the heart of Seattle.
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Every place in the city was packed, is all I'm saying.
Same deal the next day, Sunday the 23rd, when we return to the Bite to see another band of which Linzy's a member: Midnight High (more on that band in a moment).
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The Midnight High performance was around 1 in the afternoon after which we went back to the house as Linzy went on to that evening's Taylor Swift concert which, according to everyone, was a VERY big deal. Certainly for Linzy who basically grew up as a musician with Taylor's career. 🤩🤩🤩
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Now, while all these shows were happening, as the world premiere of the film I cut approached, Kimmer was also up to her eyeballs... having officially applied to a doctorate program at her alma mater. And, by the time the screening happened, she was officially accepted.
HUZZAH!!!!!! 😁😁😁
And the doctorate program?
Doctor of Science in Integrative Health from the American College of Healthcare Sciences.
So there it is.
We all three were having a very busy week.
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A coupla evenings later, Tuesday the 25th, I'm prefunctioning at the home of the Combat Wombats' director as most of the team gathers for pizza oven cooked pizza and drinks and talking shop and talking life… before heading to the Uptown Cinema for the world premiere of "PTAgent" on the big screen. By the time I get home, it's already a half hour into Sunday the 26th, the morning on which we're leaving for southern California to visit family and check in on Kimmer's aunt. At this point, we've gotta be out the door in six hours but manage to eat one of those hours watching an episode of Madame Secretary, a series that's turned out to be a big deal for us this summer after we blitzed through the eight episode season one of The Diplomat four times in a row.
Yeah. We desperately needed another show to watch.
So credits roll on Madam Secretary and now it's a little after 130AM. The way things work out, we'll be up three and a half hours later at 5AM, ready and on the road to the airport by 640AM, in the air by 8, and so on.
Which pretty much explains how tired we were the rest of the day.
Our California family's family, though, which means they give us a huuuuge shot of energy for four solid days of taking our home life on the road, an essential part of which is about seeing Kimmer's aunt who lives in a memory care community.
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By the time we're home again, we're into the first minutes of Sunday the 30th, a day that we figured will be a normal-ish, chores-ish day that suddenly turns into the world premiere of Linzy's music on the radio.
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One of the bands in which she performs harmonies and keys, you see, is called Midnight High, their latest gig being that one at the Bite of Seattle. And Sunday evening, our day back from California, they're on the Locals Only show on KNDD-FM 107.7 The End. They're promoting their new album, "Swimming Lessons", showcasing a few songs from that album and sharing some of their favorite music including "I Don't Wanna Know" from Linzy's debut Dream Patrol project EP titled "Made For TV".
Dang.
That made for a very "That Thing You Do" moment for us at home and for Linzy over at her place.
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And yup.
After a crazy busy July, that's seven months down.
Five to go.
🤔🤔🤔
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lindsaystravelblogs3 · 9 months
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Days 16-18 – Saturday-Monday, 10-12 June - End of Tour and On to Sicily
Saturday
It was supposed to be a ‘MyTime’ day today but people were being encouraged to take the train to L’ile Rousse, a pretty village in the hills behind Calvi.  We decided not to go – we needed a quiet day and a chance to catch up a little with our blogs.  In the end, nobody took the train, but most people went on our coach.  It was really just a three-hour trip up and back with time for lunch and a few photos – none of which we felt obliged to enjoy.
We deliberately slept late and did a few puzzles together before going down the brekky.  We have hardly done any puzzles this trip because most mornings, we have had to have breakfast and get on the coach instead of lazing around in bed.
We had to repack everything so we could move on tomorrow – the last day of this tour – but we also wrote a lot for our respective blogs during the day.  We went out for a while around lunchtime because I have mislaid the USB connector for my wireless mouse and we wanted to buy another one.  I am sure it will turn up, but working without a mouse was just getting too frustrating.  We were told to go to the supermarket around the corner where they sell everything – and they really do.  It was a huge place, and I got my new mouse as well as a few extra nibbles to go with our lunch.
A lot of our crowd went into the pool after they returned to the hotel and we have seen them from our window that overlooks the pool – a very pleasant outlook, even without the pool.  We all met in the lobby at 7pm to walk the six minutes to the restaurant where we were all having dinner.  The 'six minutes' was important because our leader had been teased about everything being just ten minutes away.  He had Googled it and Mr Google said it would take six minutes to walk to the restaurant.  After six minutes, I called out ‘Stop – we must be here now’.  Alas, only another seven and a half minutes to go!
The meal was quite good, but they applied a rigorous limit to us of two drinks each – so we bought a bottle and shared it wit those nearest to us.  The table behind us simply walked up to where the wine was stored and took bottle after bottle as a means of topping up their quota.  Some people have no conscience and Aussies bad manners sometimes embarrass the shit out of me.
Sunday
We left the hotel at 8.30 – or would have, except that our leader was late – so make that 8.40am.    A few of our group were either staying on in Calvi for a few more days, or flying out later in the afternoon, but about twenty of us boarded the coach and off we went.  The others stood about and waved us all goodbye. 
It was quite a scenic drive to Bastia where we were to catch our ferry to Livorno. We detoured via the Bastia airport to shed a few more of our group and drove through town to the ferry terminal.  What a schemozzle!  The whole ferry experience was a nightmare.
We were there before 10.30 but the terminal didn’t open until noon – except that it was doing a brisk business before 11.30.  Boarding time was 1pm – except that the Security line didn’t open until 1.15 and absolutely everything had to go through the X-ray machine.  Needless to say, the X-ray picked up our tiny picnic knife, so we had to unpack that whole big bag and show it to the stupid kid who obviously imagined we intended using it to hijack the ship.  Once she saw it – and the scissors and other implements far more dangerous than the little knife – she said everything was OK, and left us to repack our bags.  I think I may have made to odd comment on the absurdity of the security process on a couple of previous occasions – but this one was even worse than the airports.  Others of our group experienced similar frustrations. All the Security staff we encounter seem to belong to a class of their own - Moron Class.
We eventually walked out to a huge asphalt paddock with no signage to indicate how to board the ship, but we found a porter who pointed us to a yellow band painted on the ground and said that was the pedestrian walkway.  We followed that for a couple of hundred metres until we were shouted at to tell us we were on the wrong yellow line – we were supposed to be on the parallel one two metres to our left.  We quickly changed lanes and twenty metres further along, that one merged with the one we had already been on.  Little minds abusing the little bit of power they have to make it as difficult as they can for we poor tourists.
Of course, we are lugging all of our luggage – no trolleys are provided.  Is there a lift, sir?  Just along the side of the bulkhead!  Unfortunately, it was locked, but there are stairs – only seven floors up to Reception!  We eventually found someone else to ask and he arranged for the lift to be unlocked.  A maximum of six people were allowed in the tiny box and with our luggage, there was really no room for our feet so I sat on our cases.  Then the lift wouldn’t work.  It took about ten minutes before another guy told us that one of the bags was blocking a hidden sensor.  Once that was remedied, we were delivered to Reception on Level Seven.  There we were given our reserved seat numbers and told the seats were on the next level up on the left.  Unfortunately, there is no lift!  We lugged our stuff up the stairs but there are no seats anywhere – we were just faced with three ‘do not enter’ doors.  I went back to Reception to be rough-handled by the French crowd and screamed at by the guy at Reception – ‘No English, no English – one stair up and then left – one up, left!!!’  In the meantime, Heather had been guarding our bags on the landing one stair up and discovered that ‘one’ apparently means ‘two’ in French.  We trudged up another flight of steps behind one of the Do Not Enter doors to an area of two hundred seats of which thirteen had been reserved for those of us who had paid for reserved seating.  For most of the trip, twenty-odd blocks of four seats were occupied by snoring sleepers who had not paid extra to be there.  No skin off our nose, but the whole show really was Mickey Mouse stuff.  I washed my hands in the Gents toilet – two of the three cubicles were out of order, as were both the hand-dryers.  When they made the announcement about what to do in the unlikely event of us sinking, I really started to get concerned.  There are no dogs allowed in the reserved seating area, but the noise from the dozens barking two decks below us is loud and incessant.  And people (lots of them) smoke and vape anywhere and everywhere over here and just flick their butts anywhere – it doesn’t really bother me, but it is so different from the very restrictive (some might say, civilised?) requirements in Australia.
The whole experience was awful.  The ship was filthy, there were crowds everywhere, the bar was closed 15 minutes into the trip, nothing worked as it should – maybe that is just Italy in a nutshell, but we were really glad to get off the ship after standing around for an hour, waiting for all the vehicles to be unloaded so the pedestrians could disembark.
We shared a cab with another couple from our group who were staying at the same hotel but when we came to check in, there was no record of our reservation.  They looked under both our surnames and Christian names but found nothing.  We showed him all the paperwork, proving the reservation and that we had paid for it in full.   The concierge was just so helpful and apologetic, and he was very diligent in his searches but the upshot was that, after close to an hour of searching, we had to pay full price again.  At least, there were plenty of rooms and he gave us an upgrade for our troubles.
The other couple from our group were going out as we were making payment and they said that the rooms were microscopic – but ours was more than comfortable with a great outside terrace overlooking the river.  Heather had almost finished an email to our travel agent explaining the situation when the phone rang.  The concierge had found our reservation and payment, and could we please come back to Reception so he could process an immediate refund.  The booking had been made in the name of Heather Wheat - but somewhere along the way, they think a computer translated it to Erica (the botanical genus for heather) Grano (Italian for wheat).  The booking was located under Erica Grano’s name!!  Can you believe that?  I wonder what the computer would have made of Lindsay Doig?
After sorting all of that out, we went to a little openair cafe around the corner.  It was almost 9pm, but a beautiful balmy night, quiet except for the nearby traffic, with a gentle breeze and owner-staff who couldn’t do enough to ensure we had an enjoyable time.  I ordered a seafood crepe and Heather had pasta.  The servings were sensible, an ideal quantity for us, and my crepe was absolutely delicious.   We had a couple of drinks each and when they found that we were Aussies, it was like a family reunion – the owner had visited Brisbane several years ago and welcomed us with great enthusiasm.  We also enjoyed a delicious complementary Limoncello each and sat over our meal for well over an hour.  It was quite delightful and we both loved it.  Then it was bed, deep sleep and numerous night-cramps for both of us.
Monday
Today was really quite enjoyable with somewhat less time pressures and nobody else to consider.   Despite our fatigue after yesterday, we were up around 7am and down to breakfast soon after.  The other couple from our previous tour had an early train to catch so we never saw them.
Our driver for the trip from Livorno to Florence arrived a few minutes early, but we were already sitting outside the door in a shady, flowery portico, so we loaded up and set off for our first stop at the Vespa Museum (more properly, the Piaggio Museum) in Pontedera.  I had no expectations of the museum, and felt that allowing a full hour to look at a few old scooters was overkill, but when we got there, we found that it was closed anyway.   Monday it is closed every week and today is Monday.  The manager saw us at the door and came over to us and explained the situation with many apologies.  We weren’t too fussed, but our driver told him that we had a booked tour and that we had come all the way from Australia just to see it.   ‘Australia! he said, come right in’ - and we were left to our own devices to explore at will - and without paying for tickets.  We did and it was FABULOUS!
They must have close to a thousand items on display, including racing bikes (Vespa’s first foray into road racing was on the day Heather was born!!), artistically decorated bikes, touring bikes - one with an Aussie flag attached and one painted to honour a spell in Townsville - and all sorts of amazing special purpose bikes.   One room was devoted to the first ever motor bikes built by a Mr Gilera in the 1890s, but all the rest were Vespas.  A fire truck, racing bikes, one used in a movie as a bike, helicopter and submarine, one of six hundred used in the desert by the French Foreign Legion (equipped with a rocket launcher and a couple of bundles of rockets), a tram, a mobile bookshop, ornate tuk-tuks - you name it - Vespas have done it – even marine and aircraft engineering.  It was amazing and we really needed at least an extra couple of hours to take it all in.  A few other people saw us in there through the window and wanted us to unlock he place so they could get in, but we tried to hide to avoid anyone else getting cranky when they were locked out while we had the run of the place.   It was a fantastic hour and a huge privilege, and we thanked the manager profusely.
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A tram guarding the Museum entrance, a few Vespas in the massive display, and a 'Bike Rack".
Next stop was Lucca, a very old town surrounded by the usual elaborate fortifications and a high wall all around.  The town now spreads out around the fortified area, but we had a couple of hours to wander on our own.  Our driver gave us a map and told us a couple of places to go, one being a large ‘round square’ with lots of shops and restaurants.  
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The round 'Square' and a nearby tower featuring both round and square architecture.
We checked it out, but it was crowded, noisy and hot, so we wandered back through the maze of tiny twisting lanes and came upon a church with a photographic display that was pretty special.   One of the photos is a well-known one that has featured on the cover of National Geographic, but they were nearly all great portraits.  We spoke to the photographer who was busy selling prints and it turns out that he was born in Lucca and still lives there.  He wants to photograph in the Amazon but can’t afford the fare.   He was a bit jealous that we had been there so recently.
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The famous photo (on the right). The figure on the left might be just as famous to some viewers.
We had a light lunch, very enjoyable with a long cold one, at a shady quiet café, just across the road from where we were to meet our driver, and timing was perfect.  She drove up just as we were crossing the road to meet her.
Then it was on to the Florence airport.  We had a bit of a wait, but we were the third to check in and security was a five-minute breeze - the easiest and best I have encountered for at least the past twenty-five years!  Of course, not everything can go to plan and boarding was delayed by more than an hour.  Not sure quite why, but it seems that they needed to board two people in wheelchairs but could only find one chair.  Despite that, we boarded surprisingly quickly, and take-off was only delayed about thirty minutes.
It was actually quite a fast day for us slow Aussies.  Our driver seemed to be a quite competent driver, zipping in and out of traffic fairly smoothly, if a little faster than altogether necessary.  But then we got out on the Autostrada and her foot went down.  There were short sections where the speed limit was 40, 50, 80 or 110 kph and she sometimes slowed to 140 in those areas.  I could see the digital speed display on the GPS on the dashboard and although I wasn’t watching it all the time, it was displaying 150-plus much of the time and touched at least 166 on several occasions.  Then despite boarding our flight more than an hour late, we were only about ten minutes late landing, so maybe there was some extra speed there, although we were not aware of it.  And then, when we arrived in Palermo, we were met by our hotel transfer driver in a Porsche and our trip to the city had him driving at 150-plus for most of the trip.  We never felt in danger at any time, but people seem completely at ease with much higher speeds here - and even at those speeds, plenty of other cars were passing us.
We checked in at our hotel and did a minimum of organising ourselves before going out for something to eat at 10.45pm.  The hotel told us how to get to a bar a kilometre away because everything else was closed.  Luckily, we found a takeaway place halfway there and bought some hot fried things back to our room for ‘supper’ – more than we could eat and very rich with an oversupply of cheese, as seems common over here.  Then bed at last a bit before 1am!
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My First Penpal Mix
Pretty excited. I think it came out good! Tried to keep it upbeat. How did I do?
SIDE ONE
"Hurry, Hurry" by Air Traffic Controller
"Necromancin Dancin" by Bear Ghost
"Eat You" by Caravan of Thieves
"Higher Grounds" by Cats on Fire
"The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth" by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
"i wanna bite your face" by Eve 6
"We're From Barcelona" by I'm From Barcelona
"Crayola Doesn't Make A Color For Your Eyes" by Kristin Andreassen
"Fuck You" by Lily Allen
"i think i wanna be alone" by mazie
SIDE TWO
"Summertime" by My Chemical Romance
"The Days Go By Oh So Slow" by Nightmare Of You
"Only In The Movies" by Plumtree
"What, Me Worry?" by Portugal. The Man
"Love My Way" by The Psychedelic Furs
"Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon" by Queen
"Let's B Goblins!" by Ratwyfe
"CHICKEN TERIAKI" by ROSALIA
"How Can I Love You If You Won't Lie Down" by Silver Jews
"My Leather, My Fur, My Nails" by Stepdad
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beevean · 3 years
Audio
Katawa Shoujo
Ease
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Nightingale - Part 4
Pairing: Jay Castillo x Female Reader
Word Count: 6,096
Rating: M? Talk of infidelity, language, drinking. This is relatively mild. 
Summary: With no more tattoo appointments to look forward to, will you and Jay keep in contact? For Jay, the week of his planned honeymoon has more than a few surprises in store. 
Author’s note:
I’m sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out - it’s been done, I’ve just been lazy about editing. 
I am absolutely FLOORED by the reaction that you’ve all had to this story, and I cannot thank you enough for the feedback, comments and questions. 
I do want to remind you that things might seem like they’re moving very slowly between these two ... but I’m trying to be very respectful of the fact hat there is a marriage here, no matter how broken it might be at this point. 
Catch up on the first three parts here: 1 / 2 / 3
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The following Sunday, you were relaxing in your best friend’s backyard while her children played nearby. You didn’t make the trip from your place in Noe Valley to Hayward too often, but the days you spent with Kenzie were welcome breaks for you. That visit was the reason you hadn’t been able to see Jay for a tattoo at his first reschedule suggestion. Your best friend’s birthday meant an afternoon spent with her and her family, lazing in the fading warmth of summer and eating way too much junk food. It was a far cry from the years the two of you had spent together in college - those birthday memories fuzzy and completely devoid of children. But things change. 
Kenzie’s husband was grilling, the two of you laying back on lawn chairs while catching up on each other’s lives, and it was the most relaxing day you’d had in months. She said your name, pulling you out of your thoughts, and with a slow turn of your head you met the woman’s eyes, watching as she grinned at you. “One of these days, you’ll bring a guy here with you for dinner.” Maybe. 
“Tried that.” You rolled your eyes. “Didn’t work out so well, remember?” She laughed, running a hand through her hair and pulling it away from her face. “I think the next time I introduce you to someone, I’m going to make sure we’ve known each other longer than a couple weeks.” And that he isn’t a selfish asshole.
“Smart.” She snorted out a laugh, followed by a quick “stop it!” as one of her daughters yelled at the other for pulling a toy from her hands. “So you never told me about your tattoo.” The woman gestured to your arm, clearing her throat. “You said the girl that was going to do it couldn’t. Did you get a good artist?” Jay’s face flashed in your mind as she spoke, the man’s wide brown eyes and large smile making you smile in return. “You must have, the look on your face is -” “I did.” Pushing yourself into an upright position, you held out your arm - the areas that Jay had worked on most recently still scabbed over. “He did a really good job. Changed the design from the one Hanna was going to do to one of his own, and I’m really glad.” The woman reached toward you, pausing before she laid her fingers against your skin, waiting for you to tell her it was alright. “It’s kind of scaly right now, but …” 
Kenzie’s fingertips moved over your skin slowly, the woman leaning in and squinting at the design for long moments before she spoke. “Your grandparents would love this.” It was the simplest thing that anyone could have said - but it was also the most right, and without pause, you encircled the woman with both arms, resting your head on her shoulder. She’d grown up with you, had spent countless weekends and vacations in the summer at your grandparents’ house in San Rafael, and had been almost as distraught as you when they’d passed. So she gets it. “You’ll have to give me the artist’s name, I’ve been thinking about going to get another one, and I like his style.” “His name’s Jay.” Settling back into the chair, you reached for your drink and took a long sip. “And he does a hell of a lot more than this. He had his drawings hanging up around his tattoo space, and they were incredible. He was telling me he’s an artist, too, so tattooing isn’t all he does, but …” You trailed off, taking a deep breath. “He did ask me to send people his way. So… yes, definitely. I think you’d like him.” 
“Sounds like you like him, too.” You heard it in her voice - the hints of accusation, the interest, but you were quick to shut her down. That isn’t the point. 
“He’s married. He actually got married between our first and second appointments, Kenz.” Her expression changed to shock, but you weren’t done, eyes moving down to your arm and then back up. “I do like him, but it’s not like that.” It can’t be like that, even though it seemed for a second like … You’d seen the look in the man’s eyes as you stood next to the front counter telling him that you hoped someone would give him a real chance. It hadn’t been a strictly friendly look - his shoulders tensing, lips parted as he watched you, and for a moment, you’d wondered if he was going to move, leaning forward and reaching for you. He hadn’t, but you’d gotten the distinct impression that he’d wanted to. And I wanted him to, so what does that say about me? “I’ll send you the shop’s phone number if you want.” 
She agreed, and turned her attention back to the kids as you reached for your bag, pulling your phone out. To your surprise, though, when you flipped the device over to light the screen up, you saw a missed message from an unfamiliar number - along with an attached picture. Holy shit. “Who’s that?” Kenzie leaned closer, her hand reaching for your phone. “He’s cute.” Yeah, he is. 
“That’s… Jay.” Swiping to unlock the phone and open the message, you moved your head back and forth. You were right. Needed to leave the city for a couple days. He’d sent the message nearly an hour before; the picture one of him with the coastline over his shoulder, the man grinning at the camera. “We were talking before he finished about what he was going to do this week, and I suggested camping.” 
“His wife’s not in the picture with him.” No, she isn’t. “Why is he sending you pictures of himself that look like they’d be on a dating profile?” You laughed at that, briefly closing your eyes. I don’t know. “What aren’t you telling me?” You wanted to clue the woman in, but didn’t feel like you had the right to - at least not all of it. But maybe I can tell her something. 
“Hold on.” You murmured the words, opening up the text box and typing quickly. You picked a good spot. Hope it’s what you need. Pressing send, you took a deep breath before letting the device go, your phone dropping to the tabletop. He hadn’t messaged you before then - and you figured he wouldn’t, fully aware that there was a good chance that you leaving your number had been out of line. But maybe he was just waiting for the right time to reach out. “Kenzie, he…” Eyes on the dark screen, you shook your head back and forth. “He’s married, but it isn’t…” Swiping a hand over your face, you took a long breath. “His brother in law just died a couple months ago, and there’s been a lot of tension between him and his wife ever since. I don’t know what’s going to happen with all that, but he was distracted while I was there last time, and so I said I’d listen if he wanted to talk.” And he definitely talked.
She watched you intently, her eyes focused on your face. You didn’t want to tell her much more, didn’t want to break any sort of trust that you might have earned from the man, but the truth was that you truly didn’t know what to think or feel about the interactions you’d had with him. And this text doesn’t make that any easier to think about. “And did he tell you anything?” You had her attention, the woman’s voice low. “If they just got married and he’s already somewhere without her and texting you, that doesn’t… that doesn’t seem like a good thing.” 
“I don’t think it is.” Shaking your head, you closed your eyes. “He seemed pretty sure that whatever was going to happen between them wasn’t going to end well, but as far as I know, he’s still married.” Your phone went off again, both pairs of eyes moving to it. “And this is the first time he’s ever texted me, so … I’m just as surprised as you are.” 
“You’re not going to get involved if he is married, are you?” She sounded concerned, and you didn’t blame her. Getting close to a married man was not something you had any interest in doing, even if he’d been honest about everything from the beginning.
“Nope.” He’d messaged back - short and sweet - and you bit back a smile as you read it. Point Reyes is always what I need. He hadn’t gone far, and you were familiar with the area he’d mentioned. It was beautiful, a great place for someone to clear their head for a few days. Perfect for him. “No, as long as he’s married, I don’t want anything to do with it more than what it is now. I don’t care how good looking someone is, I’m not going to do that to anyone.” As you spoke, you tried to figure out how to respond. Because I don’t want him to think that I’m ignoring him. 
Good. Might have convinced a friend to come see you for a tattoo… cross your fingers. “You should have told me he looked like that, though … I would have agreed to go to him immediately.” Kenzie took your phone from your hand, reopening the image and using both fingers to zoom in. “I know I’m already married, but damn.” You had to laugh at that. I agree. “Definitely fun to look at.”
“He’s a nice guy, too. I hope he figures whatever out that he needs to with his wife.” But do I? She gave the phone one more look and then raised an eyebrow at you as she handed it over. “What?” 
“He replied.” That was fast. “Must have been holding the phone.” 
“Oh, shut up.” But you felt your heartbeat quicken, eyes scanning the new message. A friend, but not you. Ouch. “Probably just waiting to see if I’d respond before he put the phone away.” Shrugging it off, you took a deep breath. “Makes sense.” I guess. 
“Dinner’s ready. Alec’s waving us over.” Kenzie was already shifting off of the chair and calling for the kids, turning her head to look back over at you. “When you’re done texting your new friend, you should -” Narrowing your eyes at her you watched as she stood, fighting back a laugh. “I’m kidding.” But you aren’t, are you. The four of them moved toward the house and you finally stood, too, phone still unlocked in your hand. What do I say? It seemed as though the man was flirting with you, even if in a casual manner. Do I flirt back? 
He’d been open and honest with you about getting married, telling you a lot about his future wife in your first session. He’d told you more about what had gone on with the woman in the weeks following the wedding than he’d needed to. You’d seen the scrawl in the appointment book - the man’s honeymoon scheduled for the week, Jay clearly not in Hawaii while texting you from only a few miles away. A little flirting won’t hurt. Before following your friends into the house, you typed one final message, pressing send before you could second guess yourself and then shoving the phone back in your bag. 
That’s just because I haven’t decided what to get yet. But as soon as I do, you’re the only one I want to come see. 
— 
The camping trip had done wonders for him, and by the time Jay made it back to his loft on Friday afternoon, he felt better than he had in weeks. 
He’d thought a lot about the future while laying in his sleeping bag each night, staring out through the screened-in top sections of his tent. While the sky hadn’t given him answers, it had given him plenty of direction. 
Kat hadn’t called or texted, even though he’d assumed she might given the initial significance of the week. At first, it had disappointed him, but the more time he spent outside - hiking through the tall grasses, walking along the beach and sitting with his toes in the wet sand, Jay realized that it was for the best. He was better alone than with the woman, more at ease sitting next to a campfire under the stars and eating food from a small cooler than he’d been with her at Marta and Evan’s large house, or during any one of the dinners they’d gone to with either of the elder Petrovs. 
They were different people - valued different lifestyles, wanted different futures, liked different things - and Jay had been hopeful that it would work between them because of their differences. But with the camping trip as the first time he’d truly been apart from Kat and out of San Francisco in the ten months since they’d met, he realized that that hope had been based mostly on lust and the way that they’d connected physically - and his belief that the more intimately people knew each other, the easier everything else became.
Did he love the woman? Yes, he did. Could they have been happy together? Maybe, for at least a little while. Would it have lasted? No, not unless Kat and her family had suddenly deemed him worthy of their inner circle. But look what that got Evan. 
Waiting in the hospital’s atrium had been one of the worst experiences of his life. Marta and Kat had left him at the table with Natalie, Gabe and Boris, and Jay hadn’t been able to believe that less than 24 hours earlier, they’d all been at a wedding, celebrating the beginning of a new life for him and Kat. 
The celebration had been cut short, though, and the fact that he’d spent the majority of his first months as a married man alone drove that point home for Jay better than anything else ever could. 
He was lucky, at least in his own mind, because unlike Kat, his family wasn’t large, and that meant that explaining the woman’s absence hadn’t needed to be done repeatedly. He’d told his sister, told his grandparents, and that was it. And I told her. 
You weren’t family, but you knew more about what had happened between Jay and his wife than a lot of other people, and you hadn’t judged him for any of it. He appreciated the kindness, was absolutely thrilled at the fact that you’d actually done what you promised to and listened to him, let him get it out, and he didn’t know how to repay you. The tattoo had been one way of doing that, but you’d left the amount as a tip, which rendered the gesture useless. 
As the man loaded dirty clothes and blankets into the washing machine, he thought back to the few text messages you’d exchanged earlier that week, smiling at the memory of your first reply. He hadn’t even hesitated when attaching the picture to the message, wanting you to see that he’d taken your advice to heart, and was out of the city doing something that he enjoyed. He’d also selfishly just wanted to send a picture to see how you’d respond to it, but you hadn’t - and he respected that. Because I am still married. 
You’d flirted back with him, just a little, and that also made Jay happy. Not because it meant that he hadn’t completely lost the charm despite the trouble with his most recent relationship, but because he figured that if you were completely uninterested, you wouldn’t have had a problem flat out telling him. But you didn’t - and so he knew that at the very least, you’d meant what you said about keeping in contact. You leaving your number had been a surprise, and even though he’d wanted to message you sooner, he’d held off. And then I couldn’t stop myself.  
There’d been no more contact after the reply about coming to see him when you chose another tattoo design, but he figured that the two of you weren’t quite to the point where you casually texted each other. I hope that changes, though. He didn’t know what it would take to get to that level, but there was no reason for him to think that it wouldn’t. He’d broken the ice and you’d continued to chip away at the crack, leaving things open for whatever happened in the future. But not until I know exactly what’s going to happen with Kat. 
The laundry going, Jay moved back into the main room of the loft, absently straightening the couch pillows and picking up stray papers to throw away, but when he passed his phone, he set everything down, grabbing for it. There was a missed message - but it was from Natalie, which caught him off guard - the message worrying him even more. All it said was a simple Call me, Uncle Jay, and he wasted no time in pressing the button and lifting the device to his ear. I hope everything’s alright. 
She answered on the second ring, the girl’s voice breathless. “H-hello?” 
“Nat? Is everything OK? Why are you calling me? Is your mom -” “Everyone’s fine.” She took a deep breath, and Jay heard the sound of traffic on the other end of the line. “We’re all… good. I just …” She let out a long sigh and Jay waited patiently. “Are you home? I’m actually meeting friends at Pier 39 for dinner, but I want to…” She trailed off, Jay frowning as he leaned over the kitchen counter, phone held to his ear. What does she want? “There’s something I have to tell you, so I was wondering if I could -”
“I can come to you.” He was already moving, heading for the door to pull his boots on. “I’ll grab a cab, just tell me where.” A few minutes later, Jay was out the door, his phone tucked into one of his back pockets as he waited on the sidewalk for an empty car. He had no idea what the girl wanted, but no matter how much the relationship with his wife had deteriorated, he wasn’t about to leave the teenager hanging. 
Fifteen minutes later, Jay was stepping out of the cab in front of the Hard Rock, his eyes scanning the early evening crowd for any sign of the girl. He found her easily, even though she had a hood pulled up over her blonde hair, and he wasted no time cutting through the crowd to where she sat, legs crossed at the ankle while she waited. “Nat?” Speaking as he approached so that he didn’t surprise her, Jay tilted his head to one side. “I’m here, what’s up?” 
The moment he met the girl’s eyes, he knew that something was wrong, though he had no idea what it could have been. She looked sad, and not in the way that he imagined she would. It’s like she’s mad about it. “Hi, Uncle Jay.” She gave him a tight smile, scooting over on the bench to make room for him and he took the seat without pause, telling her hello. “You haven’t come over in a long time. I -” “Your aunt doesn’t want to see me.” The words came out smoothly, Jay sighing after he spoke them. “I’m giving her space, because it’s what… It doesn’t matter, Nat. We’ll figure it out.” Or we won’t. “How are you guys doing?” She didn’t answer, though, her gaze focused on her feet. “Is something wrong? Are you in trouble?” Shifting on the bench, he leaned in, cautiously reaching out to set a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Are your brothers -” “You and my aunt aren’t together anymore, are you?” She finally looked at him, her wide brown eyes unblinking. “Like … you’re broken up?” It wasn’t that simple, but Jay still nodded, closing his eyes. 
“Yeah, I think so. I haven’t seen her or talked to her in a couple weeks, so I don’t know exactly, but…” He trailed off, shrugging. “You don’t have to worry about it, Nat. Even if she and I aren’t -” “I saw her kissing someone.” Natalie looked away, chewing on her lip. “A few weeks ago, and then … then a couple days ago.” What? That froze him, a prickling heat igniting in the center of his chest. “She made me promise not to tell you after the first time, and I thought it was because she was stressed out because of my dad, so I agreed. She said it was an accident.” What? Why is she… who? But he couldn’t ask - couldn’t even form the words, and so he sat there, waiting.”But then I saw it again, and it was the same guy, so I then I thought that maybe it wasn’t an accident.”     
“You didn’t have to tell me.” The words caught in his throat at the realization that no matter how many times he’d thought it, the admission by his niece was proof that his marriage was in fact over - and had been for a while. “She’s your aunt, why are you -” “Because it’s that FBI guy, the one that’s been sitting outside of our house since my dad? And that’s weird. She shouldn’t… she’s married to you, and she -” The girl was almost in tears, and Jay moved again, winding an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against his side. That FBI agent? The one that was in my kitchen? But she said… He felt his jaw tighten as Natalie let herself lean against him, the girl quiet again for almost a minute. “You deserve to know.” 
Do I? Does it change anything? “Thank you for saying something.” He glanced up, eyes on the flags fluttering overhead. “I’m not going to tell her you told me. If she wants me to know, it can come from her. I don’t want you in the middle of this, Nat.” 
“I took a picture.” The girl sniffed, pulling herself away from Jay. “I tried to take a video, and I don’t think you can really see, but the picture, they’re…” Again, she turned her face up so that he could see that her eyes were rimmed with red. “I can show you if you want.” 
‘What?” He spat the word, surprise turning it into an almost angry sound. “A picture?” She reached for her phone, fingers curling around the device. Do I want to see that? Do I need to? He glanced down and then back up, letting out a slow breath. “Alright.” He didn’t know what he expected, but the moment his eyes landed on the girl’s phone screen, Jay felt something like relief. It wasn’t clear as day, but there was no mistaking what he was seeing - Kat and Agent Ramos, her arms wound around his neck as they kissed at the end of the very same driveway that Evan had been killed in. 
“The video is really blurry. I took it through the window because I didn’t want them to see me, but …” She swiped through, clicking the play button. It  was blurry, but again, Jay knew that it was his wife - the man’s fingers tangled in her long hair, his other hand on her hip as they kissed. It was a short video, only a few seconds, but as he watched it, Jay felt anger, the emotion overtaking the shock that he’d initially felt. 
But he wasn’t angry at her for kissing someone else. Jay was angry that while the woman hadn’t even had the nerve to contact him to tell him that things were permanently over, giving him any sort of insight into what would come next, she’d found someone else to occupy her time, initiating physical contact with no shame whatsoever in a public place with a man that knew that she’d just gotten married. And I felt guilty for having a coffee with a client. 
Squeezing his eyes shut, Jay gave himself a few moments to think. Fuck. “You shouldn’t be in the middle of this, Natalie.” The girl darkened her phone screen, holding it between both palms with her fingers tightly wrapped around each other. “I… appreciate you showing me, but I’m still not going to tell her you did. This is between us, and it -” “My mom keeps telling her that she needs to talk to you. That you need to figure something out, even if it’s breaking up. Aunt Kat’s avoiding you, and it’s stupid.” He agreed - even more after seeing the images - and felt a sudden wave of gratitude for Marta and her daughter. At least someone cares. 
“I don’t know what’s going to happen, kiddo. But I do want you to know that even if your aunt and I aren’t together, you can call me if you need me. I know that might make things harder, but this is between us, and I don’t want you guys to feel like -” 
“I wish none of this had ever happened.” Natalie leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s not fair. Not my dad, not you and Aunt Kat, not the fact that…” She trailed off, and even though he agreed, he wasn’t going to let her know it. She doesn’t need to worry about this, too. 
“It’s gonna be ok.” Squeezing her knee, Jay cleared his throat. “Maybe your aunt and I aren’t supposed to be married. Maybe we moved too fast. You haven’t… you’ll understand in a couple years, kiddo. Believe me, it sucks, but… I’d rather know now than in ten years.” That was the truth - Jay firmly believed that it was better to have been surprised at the beginning of the marriage than after years of trying to make it work. “I should go before your friends get here. That way you won’t have to explain anything.” 
She turned her head slowly, facing him and Jay smiled - the expression genuine. “You’re really OK?” I think I am. He felt lighter, somehow, even though he didn’t know if that would change once he was alone and had had time to think, and the smile turned into a grin, accompanied with a slight nod of his head. “I’m glad.” Me too.
“Go. Eat. I’m gonna head home.” She stood, but he could read the unease in her posture, and so when Jay got to his feet, he reached out, pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m fine, Natalie. I promise you.”  The girl didn’t reply, but her felt her squeezing him tightly, cheek turned to press against his chest. When they separated, she looked a little more steady and Jay gestured to the pier, giving her another smile. “Go.” Before she was more than a few steps away, Jay called out to her again, allowing himself to ask a question that he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to. But I have to know. “Has … Kat worn her rings at all? Since I brought them over, I mean.” 
He knew the answer before the girl gave it, her eyes flashing with the overhead lights. “No.” Natalie’s gaze moved to his hands - both hanging by his sides. “But you aren’t either.” No, I’m not. She said goodbye and gave him a small wave, and a few moments later, the girl disappeared into the growing crowd of people on the pier, leaving Jay alone. 
He didn’t want to sit - didn’t want to linger, and so he turned away and began walking down the Embarcadero and toward the Bay Bridge, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. Natalie telling me this is huge. 
It was, and he knew that even though she was young, she understood the gravity of the information she’d given him. He truly didn’t want to tell Kat about the girl’s involvement - it would do no good, and he didn’t want to cause problems between the two of them. He also knew that the time was coming where he’d need to reach out again, pressuring the woman to clue him in as to what she wanted to do, but Jay was still hesitant, unsure of when the right time to do so would be. I’ll know. 
By the time he reached Pier 27, Jay was tired of walking, and decided to catch a cab back, shortening the time until he could lower himself onto the couch and crack open a beer. As he slid into the backseat of the car, Jay closed his eyes, rubbing at his forehead with one hand. Maybe I shouldn’t go home. He made up his mind when the driver asked where he was going, and instead of the address of his loft, Jay chose one of his favorite bars, the cabbie nodding in agreement as the vehicle started to move. It’s only a couple minute walk from my place anyway. 
Luckily, the man didn’t try and speak to him as they drove, and Jay simply stared out the window, letting Natalie’s words - and what he’d seen on the screen - replay in his mind. She kissed someone. She kissed someone multiple times, and if that’s the truth then she’s… It was a leap to assume that anything else physical had happened between Kat and Ramos, but Jay figured that if she was kissing him in the open, it wasn’t entirely unlikely. The first time, she’d tried to hide it. The second time, she’d done it in the open. He wasn’t stupid; he knew that the odds of those two times being the only two times were low, and the likelihood that Natalie had happened to see the only instances of infidelity was even lower. And that means it’s … regular. 
He sighed heavily as the cab came to a stop, Jay thanking the driver and handing over a few bills as he climbed out and onto the sidewalk. It was a Friday night - and he hoped that the atmosphere of the bar would distract him, giving him something to focus on. It’s better than being in my place alone. 
Making his way down the walkway and toward the entrance, he felt himself relaxing with the sound of the music coming through the speakers, the man pushing his sleeves up and over his elbows. He glanced at the indoor bar as he passed the doorway and decided that it was too crowded, opting to head for the smaller outdoor one instead. While not quite a regular, Jay had been to the place often in the few years he’d lived in the loft, and the young woman behind that bar was familiar to him. 
He didn’t like drinking alone, but as he waited in the small line for his turn to order, the man glanced out and toward the water, seeing that there was plenty of space along the railing that overlooked the Bay. Ill get a drink and stand over there. Give myself a couple minutes to think. Decision made, he returned his attention to the bar and the bartender, stepping forward and toward an open space between two people sitting on tall stools, which was being vacated by a woman with a drink in each hand. 
But before he could plant his feet, she turned, carefully sidestepping to find a path away from the counter, a cup held protectively in each hand. There wasn’t much room, and without pause, Jay shifted too, his attention still fully focused ahead - until he heard someone say his name, attention snapping toward the sound. 
“Jay?” His eyes widened as he focused on you, the corners of your mouth lifting just enough for him to catch it before you blinked, schooling your features into a more neutral expression. “What are you doing here?” Before he answered, he let himself look you over, taking in your outfit and trying to figure out what you were doing on a Friday night at a bar in his neighborhood when you didn’t live anywhere nearby. Does it matter? 
Realizing that he still hadn’t answered, he blew a slow breath out and then cleared his throat. “Stopped in for a drink before I head home. I live pretty close. What about you?” You answered almost immediately, though your gaze left his, focused on something over his shoulder. She’s here with someone. 
“I’m here after work with some coworkers. They’re sitting over by the water. I just came up to grab drinks.” He felt relief at the admission that you were with friends, though he didn’t quite understand why. There was a longer pause, the man watching as you eyed him, waiting to see how he’d respond. How do I respond? What is there to say? “I should go back. Someone’s gonna come looking for me if -” “Yeah. Of course.” He smiled at you, nodding in agreement. “I didn’t mean to… hold you up.” You looked like you wanted to say something, but instead, finally let yourself smile back, the roof-mounted lights highlighting your features in a way that gave him pause. Let her go. She’s here with people, and this isn’t … the time. “Have fun.”
“You too.” Your smile faltered - but only slightly - and you turned away, taking a few steps in the opposite direction, Jay watching as you moved. He wasn’t prepared for you to stop, turning your head so that you could look at him over one shoulder. “Jay?” You bit your lower lip, a long silence hanging between the two of you before you continued. “It’s good to see you.” 
He didn’t know how you meant it; if you just meant that it was nice to see him outside of the shop, that you were happy he was out doing something on a Friday, or that you were truly happy at the sight of him, but the man spoke before he second guessed it, barely keeping himself from reaching for you to lay a hand against your bare arm. “Yeah, you too.” His words were true - running into you had improved his mood, making him momentarily forget the news he’d received from Natalie. Even though maybe … maybe it’s better I found that out before I saw… Jay frowned, the thoughts running through his head almost too quickly for him to keep up, but with no pause, he spoke again, saying your name. “I know you’ve got a new one, but … let me buy you your next drink?” 
He hoped that it didn’t sound as pathetic to you as it did in his head, but when he saw your lips part slightly, surprise filling your eyes, he figured that it didn’t. Good. Your smile was back; larger and more genuine than it had been only a few moments earlier and you tilted your head to the left, looking up at him. “Ask me again when this one’s gone, Jay.” Using one hand to gesture, you kept going. “We’re over there.” 
Saying nothing else, you turned and headed back to your friends, leaving the man to follow you with his eyes. Was that a stupid idea? Questioning himself as he returned his attention to the bar, Jay stepped forward and lifted a finger to get the bartender’s attention, her smile growing and one eyelid dropping in an obvious wink as she took notice of him. She didn’t say no. 
A few moments later, he stepped away from the bar - beer in hand - and headed for the railing, the man choosing a spot that allowed him an unobstructed view of the table you sat at when he turned his head to the right. He wasn’t going to watch you, but the vantage point gave him the opportunity to check on the status of your drink - if he decided to offer again. Does she want me to? 
He thought you did - and as he lifted the glass to his lips and took a deep swallow, he admitted to himself that he wanted you to want him to. Eyes on the water, Jay rested his elbows against the wooden railing, leaning forward and crossing his legs at the ankle, the toe of one boot propped up on the deck beneath his feet. 
He’d intended to spend the time at the bar figuring out what he wanted to do when it came to moving forward with Kat - but after the brief conversation with you, Jay knew that that wouldn’t be happening. Not tonight. Not here. 
Grinning against the curved rim of his beer glass, Jay drank again, closing his eyes. And that’s fine with me. 
— 
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