#it just feels bad

[v2is-baby]

it feels awful when your partner leaves you for coming out as trans. It feels awful when you know that they're interested in someone else 3 months later. It feels wrong!

#i normally wouldnt care but that was a 3 years relationship #after 3 years being told im appreciated for being the person i am despite my flaws #not for my body #it just feels bad #and i feel like feeling this way is also wrong #delete later #3 am ramblings

[heich0e]

friendly reminder that (in EVEYONE'S best interest) i don't answer asks that involve/allude to other people! i understand the messages are (usually) sent with good/noble intentions, and i love and appreciate you, but i would rather not participate in or further any kind of narrative that can hurt someone whether directly or indirectly

#there is a huge chunk of my inbox atm that i'm just staring at unsure of how to deal with so i guess this is my reply to those asks #it just feels BAD #it's a level of respect i hope to have extended to me and i will always do it for others #i would appreciate if you didn't send asks about me to other users for this same reason! #obviously i know not everyone will respect this but if you do like/value me in any way i'm really earnestly asking that you do

[transbot-brian]

jonny has pda autism

#might elaborate later #but i should be asleeo #btw pda is #i forgot the acronym but its the thing where being told to do soemthing sucks #like sensory issues with doing something #it just feels bad #its a thing about autonomy #jonny D'Ville #the mechanisms

[rhysdoesstuff]

you know what makes me feel mad, sad, and like crap? When I tell someone I’m Ace, and then they don’t know what that means, which I’m fine with, but I feel terrible every time I have to explain it, and then after I reasonably explain they get really shocked, and are like, have you ever done it? How can you know? Can you still like, hug or kiss people? I could never!

it just makes me feel Bad inside

I understand maybe needing the explanation, but no I don’t want to go into detail about all my life experiences or lack thereof over and over and over. Some things are fine to ask, but at a certain point I just want to not but of course I can never say no or that stuff I need to be able to do

#Ace #it just feels bad #why can’t people be respectful? #Asexual #This happens more than I would like

[thornsnvultures]

did I put too much effort into this tiny fic that I'm probably not going to post anyway? yeah. yeah I did. anyway.. happy Monday!

#this fandom feels so dead anymore #and i get it #how long are people gonna stick around for? it's been two years and the character is canonically dead lol #it just feels bad

[wildstar25]

.

#man it really just suck sometimes seeing people be unsympathetic on the internet #like instant detachment through “welll they deserve it” type language #idk #it just feels bad #im too close to the situation to not be upset obviously but like... #idk today has just been rough in general and seeing posts despite having everything fucking word possible black listed just made it worse

[crunchycrystals]

oh the sadness and emptiness hit out of nowhere i dont knowwhy

#crunchyposts #me ventilating #:((((( im sad idk why #it just feels bad

[tardis--dreams]

I want to return this body, it's really bad quality

#this bitch Hurts #but most importantly is uncomfortable in so many horrible ways #I've had enough #it just feels Bad #(like the pain might be minimal at times but the discomfort is immense nevertheless #i'm going insane

[this-is-where-i-put-my-sad-posts]

I don’t really wanna kill myself. I’ve got so much to live for, so many things I want to live for. But school is a lot right now, and it’s starting to get to me. I have so many late assignments despite working so hard, and every time I am almost caught up, five new things come in that I now need to catch up on. Sometimes I just randomly start crying. It feels like every second is spent thinking about all the work I need to do, all things I should be doing. Even when I’m trying to relax, I feel stressed. Every second that I feel happy, a part of me says that the happiness will be over soon. Every time I feel proud of myself for finishing something or finally catching up, I know deep down that it’ll never be enough, that it’s almost never worth it

I sometimes think “I want to kill myself”. I don’t really want to kill myself. But god damn do I feel suicidal.

#tw depressive #tw depression #tw depressing thoughts #tw sui ideation #tw suicidal ideation #tw suicidal thoughts #contemplating suicide #vent #dw nothing’s gonna happen to me #it just feels bad #please don’t reblog #don’t reblog

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕 #origibberish #bigger gibbers

[feypact]

public libraries in the usa offering free digital library cards to people not in their areas (as of october 2023):

brooklyn (13-21yo us residents)

seattle (13-26yo us residents)

boston (13-26yo us residents, EDIT: just commonly banned books)

los angeles (13-18yo california residents)

san diego (12-26yo us residents, not the whole collection just commonly banned books)

these books unbanned cards (unless otherwise stated) get you access to each library's complete libby/cloud library collection, no hoopla/kanopy/physical copies included.

ebook collections are expensive to maintain (many american libraries have annual fees for non-residents because of this) but because of an uptick in book banning (particularly brutal in mississippi last summer) larger libraries have opened their doors more, which is very kind of them!

i've used my seattle card for the last several months and their libby collection has about three times the books that my local library does, which is wonderful for accessing more niche titles or skipping a waiting list. would love to hear of similar ebook initiatives internationally!

i use library extension (firefox/chrome/edge compatible) to check all my collections (+ the internet archive) at once, works for several different countries highly recommend it.

spotify seems to be offering 15hrs/month of audiobook listening to premium subscribers and while that does seem useful if you're already paying and are after a new release with a long library waitlist, libraries are better for everything else.

#library tag #banned books week #banned books #emmybody talks #for international users... your mileage may vary! #i mean i suppose you could lie about your age/location to get some of these. i doubt theyd check i would just feel bad. personally. #post brought to u by banned book week but also being moderately annoyed at ppl mad about the spotify thing #libraries are wonderful but they have their own limitations and i think using both is good!

[heich0e]

uh oh i posted fic for the first time in ages and i don't think i like this anymore

#help has anyone ever gone through this what do i do #it just feels BAD

[swagging-back-to]

i do not like smoking weed :sadge:

#it just feels bad

[skoofie]

Friendly reminder that you should

Write that fic

Draw your OC

Redesign that blorbo

Plan that comic how you want

Create the content you want to see

Be cringe

Be free

The only thing that matters is you having fun! Not what others think!

#ski thoughts #i am cringe but i am free #this isnt directed at anyone btw #just been seeing a lot of people feeling too scared to share their thoughts (me too bestie) and sometimes we (also me) need a reminder that #we can do what we want forever #whos gonna stop you? #haters? #they want u so bad it makes them look silly

[ot3]

i love the artistic stylings of studio ghibli as much as anyone else does but im kind of sick of anything with like vivid environments and big blue skies being branded as ghibliesque. because its like. you know where else you can hypothetically find some vivid environments with big blue skies? my friend the great and wonderful outdoors are here for you

#in general just assuming all media is drawing from The Most Popular Example Of A Thing #rather than being like hey maybe both these things took inspiration from the same parts of our world #just feels kind of unfair and reductive a lot of the time #not to say its bad when something IS inspired by ghibli but its kind of the professional version of being asked 'wow is that anime'