#it is shockingly easy to completely fuck up

[trainingdummyrabbit]

th thing abt finally having a face to my stupid little manager oc is that i get to finally characterdevelop him past surface level, but now im starting to realize he has a Very Real Chance of just completely defusing the Resident Threat(tm) just on account of being Stupid and Nice

#'yeah this is exactly a scifi horror plot setup but also what if she just needs someone to talk to. just give her space.' #easy steps to avoid a ruina situation: Just Be Nice To Her? She Just Works Here Man; Cmon. #piktalk #pikocs #like i knew hed be stupid and nice but fuck. shit. goddamn it he really means it. idiot. dumbass. oh my god #u know when a choice is being very obviously set up and th player picks smthn completely off the wall but undeniably coherent? #like yeah considering everything this is such a dumb idea but theres no way youd pick anything else. this is such a dumb gamble. go for it. #this could either go shockingly well or predictably badly but either option is funny so whatever. go white boy go

[nekropsii]

Do you have any thoughts on Equius

Equius is a fucked up kid who has done a lot wrong, but he is still a kid. He reads as a startlingly real portrayal of a pubescent autistic boy with an unhealthy and shaky grasp of his budding, overwhelming sexuality, with a concerning amount of influence from the internet. He is the result of adults failing him, and exposing him to hardcore fetish porn at an age too early. This is a real kind of guy that exists. A very common one, who I have met, like, at least 40 of.

Like Eridan, he feels like a kid stuck in a pipeline — except instead of the alt-right pipeline, it’s fetishism and hypersexuality. He feels like a pretty solid example of how getting involved in NSFW spaces online as a child can both deeply fuck up your sexuality and completely destroy your perception of what consent is, and what is and is not okay. He doesn’t have a grasp on boundaries whatsoever, and while this manifests in ways that are quite honestly horrifying and uncomfortable — like constantly projecting his Caste-Play BDSM fetishes onto nonconsenting, unsuspecting individuals, and… The things he did to Aradia — I cannot help but view him as an autistic boy having a rough time of puberty who got groomed through the internet over-exposing him to pornography at an early age. He’s deeply sympathetic to me from that angle. Again, I have met this kid. Homestuck is fantastic at presenting characters that are exact archetypes of real people you have known, be it personally or not. People you would have either been close friends with in middle school, or terrorized by in a random chat room on the internet. Maybe they were even you! There’s a complete nonzero chance someone is reading this who has played the role of Equius in their youth, who is totally fine and healthy now. And if that’s true, and this describes you… I’m proud of your growth!

Back to Analysis- His ardent Hemoloyalty is fascinating, also. I’ve written about this before, but there’s something compelling and very realistic about how his bigotry comes from a place of deep insecurity, rather than pride. I find bigotry coming from insecurity to be more common than it coming from overt pride. Many fictional bigots have such a genuine ego to them, a fine layer of paint labeled Badassery, when for the most part real life bigots are total losers with nothing better to do than worry about… Where someone was born, or how much melanin they have, or what’s in their pants, or whatever.

I get why people don’t tend to be fond of him, but the disquieting parts of his character are both very deliberate choices and also shockingly… Earnest, in a weird, Hussian fashion. I’ve never quite seen a character with his traits get portrayed before. He’s easy to work with, analytically speaking, you just have to be willing to stick your hands in the uncomfortable muck that is messy teenage sexuality. Many aren’t willing to, which is fair! But many also mislabel his uncomfortable traits as not intentionally uncomfortable, or simply a product of Hussie being weird and wrong and having bad opinions. This… Just blatantly isn’t the case. Sometimes fiction isn’t comfortable on purpose. Big whoop.

I think Equius could’ve been quite a fine person, had he been given the room to grow up. He’s like Jake to me in the sense that he’s one of the only characters I genuinely wouldn’t mind seeing expanded upon more, provided he be taken seriously, and not completely sanded down.

Alas.

#homestuck #homestuck meta #homestuck analysis #equius zahhak #cw child harm #equius.pdf #nekro.sms

[shima-draws]

OOUGHHH been thinking about Grovyle lately and how much I just *clenches fists* love him. Listen to me. Listen,

He is the character of all time. He���s introduced as a wanted criminal stealing something SO forbidden that even the worst Pokemon criminals won’t even touch. That immediately shoots his coolness factor through the ROOF. And the fact that nobody is able to catch him;; AND we see that he’s ridiculously clever and smart and can worm his way out of just about any situation with a bit of quick thinking. And he’s always surrounded in this air of mystery and intrigue and you’re set up to think well yeah he’s stealing Time Gears and stopping time everywhere OBVIOUSLY he has to be an asshole. Except during your first encounter with him he’s very calm and collected and shockingly polite, and even apologizes when he attacks you?? Basically just the opposite of what you’d expect from a criminal. And then to top it off you find out he’s from the FUTURE?? Which is SO sick. And he’s got some secret history with Dusknoir. And when he’s finally captured and being brought into Treasure Town all tied up he doesn’t even act out UNTIL Dusknoir mentions the planet’s paralysis. Which is the first hint you get that things are a leetle sus.

And when you get taken to the future and are about to be executed…he helps you? He has literally zero obligation to do so, esp since you’ve attacked him before. And there’s another subtle hint that maybe deep down he’s got a soft side, that he’s actually not a bad person. And it’s heartbreaking bc he finally knows someone else who is a common enemy of Dusknoir, and he clearly wants to team up with you, bc all this time he’d been by himself in the past and having people he can trust would make things so much easier (and it’s startling how easy he trusts others, too, especially considering everything he’s been through). But your partner isn’t having it and you can FEEL the disappointment he feels that he’s not able to convince you, that you aren’t going to work together, that he can’t have someone else to rely on besides himself. But that little spark, that glimmer of hope comes back when you catch up to him and you’re like yeah we’re going to decide for ourselves what we think about all this. And you find out from Celebi that Grovyle’s always been hasty, always hurrying ahead to try and achieve his goals, and it’s admirable but also regrettable bc he doesn’t ever have time for anything else.

And THEN you discover the truth…that he’s been your partner all along…and he speaks of you so fondly and has such faith in you that he’s totally fine leaving things to you and letting himself get captured because he trusts you SO much. And the despair right after when he finds out you’ve been traveling alongside him the entire time. His precious partner is also going to get captured and executed and the world is doomed to fall into disrepair. But then your partner ignites that spark of hope again and it’s enough, and you make it back to the past, and suddenly things are different but in a good way because Grovyle suddenly has someone to rely on again, even without a memory to go with it. But he can also tell that because of your amnesia he’s no longer important to you, not by choice of course, but you’ve found someone else, a partner suited for you that brings out the best in you. And that’s fucking heartbreaking because everything the two of you shared is gone now, and you’ve moved on, and even though you’re THERE you’re also so far away and so different from the person he once knew. But he knows he has to let you go, had to from the start anyway, because of the sacrifice you were prepared to make. That BOTH of you were prepared to make. And despite the fact that you have no memory he still. Trusts you. Completely. Enough to sacrifice himself to take Dusknoir back to the future. And believe that you’ll follow through with the vow you made and prevent the planet’s paralysis. And he KNOWS you will so he doesn’t know how much time he has left but it doesn’t matter because he’s been prepared to disappear, to die knowing that he’s saved the future, that he made his mark and was able to shine in his finest moments. He can leave this world knowing he did what he set out to do and he made a difference and things will be better for everyone he’s leaving behind. Shut up. Shut UP. I care about him so much I am GOING to explode. THE character ever. You don’t understand,

#I’ve been in love with him since 2008 and I will love him until the day I die. #Fuckign Grovyle PMD. Love of my life. TRULY the best Pokemon character ever written. #Shima speaks #Pokemon #PMD #Pokemon Mystery Dungeon #Grovyle #PMD Grovyle #PMD Sky #PMD2 #PMD Explorers #Sorry for the word vomit I’m just SO emo right now. God dammit. #Long post

[gottagetback2u]

✰ stray kids as uni bfs!

warnings: mentions of food, too much boyfriend material, cause of death: uni!seungmin, inconsistent use of correct spelling

welcome to my first post! <3

-✰bang chan

uni!bangchan definitely… struggles :’) he stays awake till 2-3am every night, either doing homework or procrastinating and making music. thank god his roommate basically lives with their partner, because u get to stay in his dorm with him during these early mornings, urging him to stay on task so he can sleep.

u guys met at the gym!!! u were trying to get back into exercising after the spring break and he saw u on the treadmill. literally hearts in his eyes. like the shy guy he is, he waited until u were almost out of the door before asking “do u go to the uni around here?”

let’s just say he was giggling and kicking his feet when u offered ur number to him <3

bang chan credits u for every completed assignment! he loves that u are so willing to help him, even if he is embarrassed to ask sometimes. (it goes like, “babe.. ugh i’m so sorry but what the fuck does he mean by this?”)

he will get u breakfast from the campus cafe before all of ur morning classes. he says it’s his job as a boyfriend, even if he only got four hours of sleep! (one time he slept in and got u lunch AND dinner to make up for it)

-✰lee know

lee know is an interesting student to say the least. his electives are all “art 101” and “basket weaving” because those are the ‘easy’ classes (sadly, no college class is easy) though, surprisingly, he is very interested in his major classes! studious student.

his go-to look is glasses with a comfy hoodie and sweatpants. when u see him on campus u can’t help but stare. comfy bf material.

u guys always seemed to cross paths at the off campus grocery store! u happen to be picking up comfort snacks after crying ur eyes out due to stress :( he strolled down the same aisle as u, quickly recognizing the university hoodie u had on, staring longingly at what oreo flavor to choose with fresh tears in ur eyes.

“i like the java chip ones :)” after he saw ur tears, he bought them for u.

ur dates consist of: trudging along campus to classes together, movie nights with snacks in the oh so comfy twin sized dorm bed, and grocery store runs! he also loves to do sheet masks together! (just don’t tell anyone how soft he is for u)

studies come second to him. u come first <3

-✰changbin

a jock but not in the aggressive type way. he just wants to lift and pass his classes. (which he always does! nothing below a B- for binnie)

he is good with in-class work! whipping out assignments while the teacher is talking about the subject is light work for him. but homework… alone in his dorm…. his kryptonite. for some reason focusing is so hard in that situation!

when u first heard him speak in economics class, u didn’t expect him to be so sweet?? u sat a couple rows back, so good thing he couldn’t see ur constant staring. his smile, his biceps, his too-tight shirts, his everything.

group projects are ur guys’ weakness because you somehow always get put together. (not that u mind!) in ur third group project this semester, he bit the bullet and asked u out! he was so nervous that he made a whole google slide saying “will u go out with me?” he asked han to decorate it lol.

studying together is no easy task. ur talking about currency then suddenly in a sweet make out sesh! he said he couldn’t handle the “sweet” looks u were giving him.

really soft boyfie !

-✰hyunjin

my art student. what else would he major in?

you guys actually met in starbucks on campus! hyunjin tries to do essays in a cafe setting to “stay focused” (he really just wants to be aesthetic).

you work as a barista, and after taking his order, he couldn’t take his eyes off of u for the 2 hours he was there. he ended up sketching u instead of write his essay! shockingly, he was able to muster up the courage to at least ask ur major before he left (aka, rushed out and ran into the door).

you guys are the sickly sweet couple everyone sees on campus. u are always together!!! hyunjin wants nothing to separate ur hand from his >:(

of course, when he has freedom to choose for his big projects in his art classes, he always chooses something that reminds him of you. he doesn’t like painting portraits that much, so he will choose to paint ur favorite flowers, your first date scene, your hand holding his… yeah, he’s that type of boyfriend :’)

he despises his required classes, like english and math. he doesn’t understand it like he understands art, so he needs ur support!! please run ur fingers thru his hair when he’s whining about his weekly reading!

he loves ur relationship more than anything <3 he’s so happy he can spend his college years with u

-✰han

oh boy. how do we even start this.

i think he tries his best. he really does! he doesn’t want to be one of the few in his class failing, but he just doesn’t really grip onto learning the required subjects like english.

this is how u two met! u work for the university as a tutor, and han was required tutoring for english or else he would get dropped from the class :( he showed up to the tutoring session in an empty lobby in the main campus building, and as soon as he laid eyes on u, he cursed himself. he was supposed to be learning, how can he do that when he has the prettiest person in front of him!! :’(

even outside of ur sessions u help him all the time! he appreciates ur help so much, and of course he doesn’t want his partner to have to help him with his work 24/7, but u don’t mind at all.

his schedule is chaotic. wake up, go to class, go by the convenience store to get both of u snacks, come back to UR dorm, nap in UR bed, wake up when u get back from classes, walk around campus together, get dinner in the dining hall, then fall asleep at HIS dorm.

he always praises himself for choosing to live in a quad with his own room and praises u for working for the university so u get ur own dorm. “it’s like we knew we were going to date!”

he always shows his love and appreciation. power college couple <3

-✰felix

felix has the time of his life in college. he loves being independent, doing something new, and just taking it all in.

that’s why he decided to be ambitious his freshman year; getting a job right away at the campus cafe, and also continuing his hobby of dance by taking a freestyle dance elective!

u were also taking the elective class to try and get more in to ur passion for dance. u never felt too confident in ur skills, so what better way to improve than in a class with others that were learning too!

when felix walked in the room the first day of class, looking all professional in his beanie, oversized sweatpants and a plain t-shirt, u were immediately attracted… but also intimidated!! he must be so good (>:d) u guys actually got put as partners for ice breakers, then a partner project, then a mid-term project, realizing how genuine and sweet he is!!

let’s just say,, things got a lil close for ur projects. flirting was a given around him and kissing, definitely happened.

and even though his excitement for college was a 100! his grades… struggled to reflect that :( like others, college is hard to grasp sometimes!! u continued to help him and remind him that everyone is having a hard time too <3

another sickly sweet couple. he just can’t pry himself away from u!

-✰seungmin

i kinda feel like seungmin is like,, the perfect fit for uni boyfriend? he just gives off those vibes to me so much. (yes i am seungmin biased haha)

does he have all 100% in his classes? yes! does he procrastinate? hell yes…..that’s all he does. to try and help his problem, he wants to study with u! he thinks that this will help him focus more bc silence is always comfortable between u two. but it just ends up him playing some game and u watching, messing him up every time he’s close to passing the level.

if you guys have an in-person class together, he wants needs to sit by u. he doesn’t find it right that u don’t want to sit next to ur own boyfriend. how dare u actually want to listen to ur professor instead of engage in snarky side conversation the whole time >:(

he loves walking around campus late at night. not like, 2am but more like 10pm lol (cuz besides staying up for hw, i feel seungmin is an avid sleeper). after ur night class, he will meet u by ur dorm building and walk around, hands linked the whole time. this is the time where he’s affectionate and loves to talk about ur relationship aww!! it’s conversation like “i remember the first time i held ur hand”, and “we should have another takeout homework date in the library soon”.

i could literally go on and on about uni!seungmin bc it’s a perfect match ahh.

-✰i.n

high school classmates to college classmates! it might have been handy to know someone going into college…. if u and jeongin even knew who each other were.

“yang jeongin? he was in my homeroom? uhh-“

i.n thought that he didn’t need help going thru his first year. he wanted to be independent and make friends on his own >:( butttt with each passing day, adjusting to new classes and even his roommate moving out, he couldn’t even manage to talk to someone new for more than a minute.

u finally recognized him when u saw his academy hoodie he was wearing one day! u rushed to reach him before he entered the classroom, and when u two made eye contact… god jeongin thought the world stopped.

from then, u guys slowly started seeing each other more, than exchanging numbers, then hanging out! ur hangouts usually consisted of studying, but it always ended up in doing to the dining hall and eating together, staying in their right until it closed.

let’s just say, u both struggled in the homework department. but quizzes?? yang jeongin is, surprisingly, an academic weapon.

he loves quality time with u. staying up late, just being in each other arms and talking about nothing.

he will also most definitely require u to watch old minecraft videos with him. quality time right! :)

masterlist!

#sapphire’s log~ #🎧 #stray kids #kim seungmin #bang chan #hyunjin #lee felix #changbin #lee know #han jisung #yang jeongin #skz headcanons #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids soft thoughts

[captain-mj]

In the past I feel like you’ve said ‘I was just waiting for an ask so I could post this’ so this is an ask to give you that excuse completely. I request that thing you just really want to write. Use it at anytime you want. We love your writing.

Please let me read that thing you want to write !!!

*non normal noises*

i will absolutely take you up on this!! Ghost and Soap sparring angst edition, rather short, kinda clunky, very self indulgent for me.

Soap had never seen Ghost spar. Ever. He didn't get why. It felt like everyone should spar, just to keep their skills sharp. Maybe no one asked him? Whenever Ghost was in the gym, which was shockingly rare from what Soap saw but maybe he just went at different times, people avoided him. It would make sense if no one wanted to spar with him.

Maybe that's why it was so strange that today, someone asked Ghost to spar and he said yes. It made Soap wonder if he'd always say yes, just no one asked.

Ghost wrapped his hands and pulled off his jacket. Soap's attention was immediately caught on the wrist that was exposed at this move. In his head, he could hear Gaz calling him a Victorian woman seeing ankle.

Ghost had the other person fight him and it was clear he wasn't trying very hard. He was almost playful about the moves that would send the other guy sprawling to the ground. "Come on, private. You can hit me harder than that." He assured before yanking them back up.

A few other people stopped what they were doing to watch, several grimacing when Ghost sent the private tumbling. "Ah come on Simon, you're going easy on him!"

Soap watched Ghost... flinch wasn't the right word. His shoulder jerked up slightly, as if to cover his ear and block out what the guy was saying. The private managed to get a hit on him and Ghost cuffed his head to force him back.

"Get him, Carter!" Someone yelled and Ghost's shoulder jerked up again. He started to dodge the private's attacks instead of fighting back.

Soap sensed something was wrong and started to look for a way to de-escalate. He wasn't sure what was setting Ghost off, but he didn't want anyone to get hurt.

The private lunged at him in a rather unprofessional move. It managed to get Ghost on his back but it also flicked the switch.

Ghost grabbed the private and really hit him. No sense of hesitation or carefulness. The private's head snapped back and he quickly started to back up.

"There ya go Riley!" Someone jeered and Soap thought for a moment he was mocking him.

Ghost grabbed the private and started to hit him harder. For a moment, the world felt frozen as everyone who watched went from entertained to horrified.

The private tried to wrap his legs around Ghost to flip him but the man was a brick wall.

Someone started to scream for Price and people were moving quickly but Soap didn't bother with that. He just ran at Ghost, slamming into him to get him off of the private.

Ghost was feral, actually snapping his teeth at Soap despite the mask between them. "Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off."

Soap tried to pin Ghost and quickly found himself on his stomach, arm bent behind his back. He saw the private quickly scrambling to get away, blood dripping from his nose with a limp.

Soap struggled with Ghost, trying to get out of the pin he was in. His arm was slowly being twisted further and further up his back and he thought for a brief moment that his arm would pop out of his socket.

Price yanked Ghost off of him. "Simon, you're okay. You're alright. I promise."

Ghost kicked at the ground aggressively but didn't hit Price. He huffed and snarled. "Fuck you."

"You're fine. I promise. You're alright." Price held Ghost tight until his breathing evened out. "So. I think sparring is still of the table for you."

"Just wanted to try."

"What happened?"

"I was back in the ring." Ghost grunted, trying to pull away from Price who simply yanked him back down.

Soap tested his arm. It was his bad arm and he couldn't quite feel his fingers. "Ring?"

"Fighting ring." Ghost explained. "Couldn't let them win."

Soap shivered, wondering when the fuck he would've been in a fighting ring

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #call of duty modern warfare ii #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #cod #soapghost #ghoap

[ghostchems]

la bella luna -papa emeritus ii x female!reader (part 2)

secondo gives you a tour of the abbey.

author's note: part 2 is finally here! this is for @tasty-ribz <3. 3.5k words. mndi! we got a lot of spiciness here :) as of right now, this is the final part but there potentially could be a part 3 later on :) ao3 link.

“Are you gonna let me leave?”

He ignores you. He has been ignoring your pleas and questions for the duration of your breakfast. Despite the air of grumpiness and stress, the breakfast was quite good – over easy eggs, bacon and toast, that you happily devoured. Now that your plate is empty, you continue to stare at Secondo who is lost in some papers in front of him.

You are starting to get upset, your head starting to swim with thoughts that he is holding you captive now. The awareness that you left your phone in his room spikes your anxiety. Your knee is bouncing underneath the table as Secondo takes a long, drawn out sip of his coffee. You squint to try and make out what his papers say but a nun (?) quickly comes to the table, clearing it of plates and tucking the papers under her arm. She doesn’t even spare you a glance.

Secondo is gazing at you now, his expression completely unreadable besides the always present scowl that is painted on his face. He stands from the table and you quickly do the same, fidgeting with your hands as you give him the most unsure face you can possibly muster. He reaches for you, his hand resting gently on your shoulder and you feel a small sense of relief just from the touch.

“Come. I’ll show you around, cara.” His voice is calm, yet stern. You swallow thickly and nod at him. He seems so different than the night before, much more rigid and tense, but then again, he had been drinking. Secondo still offers a small squeeze to your shoulder before turning on heel to leave the dining area. 

You follow after him like a lost puppy. This is not how you imagined this morning going. You figured you would be home by now, having your precious alone time after a shockingly successful night out. But instead, you are following a man in flowing, scary robes around what appears to be a ministry of some sort.

There is religious imagery plastered along the halls and inside what appear to be classrooms and meeting areas, as well as plenty of inverted crosses. Still, overall it seemed like a nice place? People seemed happy. There is a huge library, a garden and a greenhouse, dormitories, common areas, an auditorium, a chapel and more. The more you saw, the more you were impressed but the sneaking suspicion started to creep into the back of your mind that this is a cult and Secondo is the leader.

The tour ends in his office which is the same exact color scheme of his room - black furniture with gold and green accent pieces. You are sitting across from him, your knee bouncing again as he looks you over from his side of the desk.

“Are you afraid, cara?” He finally speaks up, brows furrowing.

“I’m… stressed. I mean, this isn’t typically how one-night stands go, ya know? I should be home by now, I think.” You’re frowning at him, trying to convey how uncomfortable you are. He doesn’t seem too phased by it.

“You want to go home, cara?”

“Yes.” You sigh deeply. “I have been asking you all morning when I can leave, Secondo. This isn’t right; you can’t just force someone to stay here if they don’t want to.” 

“I don’t think you actually want to go home.” Secondo sneers, then stands up and walks to the front of his desk, just in front of you. He leans back on the desk, his feet settling between yours. 

“Are you serious?!”  You are practically screaming now, your face twisted in anger as you jump to your feet. “You don’t even fucking know me.” You have the urge to shove him but you refrain, instead cross your arms in front of your chest with a huff.

“Oh, but I do, cara.” Secondo reaches out and snatches you by the chin. You try not to seem phased by it but you can’t help but widen your eyes at his grip. “You’re bored of your life. That is why you agreed to that date, no?” The corner of his lips curl into a barely there smile.

You say nothing and clench your jaw against his grasp. Does he want a pat on the back for pointing out something so painfully obvious? Still, you can feel your cheeks start to heat up from his gaze and his touch. 

“You are curious, as well. Curious enough to follow a mysterious old man into a dive bar.” His thumb brushes over your lips and you can’t help but part them at the touch.

“You’re not that old. Plus, you were much more charming last night.” You want to sound confident but the words come out rushed and quiet. He slips his thumb into your mouth and pressed down on your tongue. An involuntary moan spills from your lips.

“I think you like me this way, dolcezza.” Secondo leans in close and removes his thumb from your mouth. You suck in a quick breath as his hand moves to the back of  your head. “It’s what made you follow me last night.” His fingers twist into your hair and he pulls you forward, pressing his lips to yours. 

The kiss is gentle, his soft lips moving against yours. You pull away and meet his gaze, almost getting lost in his sparkling white eye. You’re still frustrated, of course, but he was right, you are drawn to him in a way that’s hard to explain. You are quick to kiss him again, this time more forceful to assert control,, your tongue invading his mouth.

Secondo makes a surprised noise, his grip on your hair tightening as he kisses you back. He slips his hand down between your legs and presses his palm firmly against your cunt through your pants. You give a soft gasp and he takes the opportunity to suck on your tongue. All illusions of you being in control slip away at that moment. You’re putty in his hands.

“Come back to my quarters and let me show you other reasons to stay.” He purrs against your lips as he slowly rubs his palm against your cunt. You whine and you’re at a loss for words. You manage to nod your head and he grins, showing off his sharp white teeth.

Secondo quickly spins you around and you huff at the loss of contact. His hands rest on your shoulders and he starts to guide you from his office. You feel like you’re on autopilot, your feet pattering along the tiled hallway. 

The moment the two of you make it inside his room, he pulls you flush against him, your back against his chest. Secondo slips down your stomach and toys with the band of your sweatpants. You slide your hand around his neck and tip your head up to him, lips brushing against his jaw.

“Mia luna.” Secondo hums and pushes his hand down your pants. He swipes his fingers across your slick folds and your body shudders at the sensation. “When I’m done with you, you’ll never want to leave.” He hisses into your ear and slips a finger inside you. 

“Fuck.” You pant and give a soft groan as he curls his finger just so. Secondo chuckles against you, then dips down to your neck, planting wet kisses down it as he slips another finger in. Your back arches and you feel his hard cock through his robes against your ass. A shuddered breath leaves your lips as he picks up his pace, thrusting his fingers in and out, curling at just the right spot. 

He slides his hand underneath your shirt and starts to massage one of your breasts. Your eyes squeeze shut and your jaw goes slack. Secondo hums against your neck, teeth grazing it and then gives it a soft bite. You moan deeply, your hand pulling him even further into you. He grunts into your neck as he pushes another finger inside you and uses his other hand to pinch at your nipple.

You’re barely hanging on by a thread, moans spilling from your lips as he continues to thrust his fingers. He seems to know exactly how to make your toes curl, your head spin, your body tremble just with his fingers. 

“Will you come for me?” Secondo whispers into your neck, then seals his lips to it and roughly sucks. Your hips jerk wildly against his fingers and you tilt your head back, resting it on his shoulder. “Will you, mia luna?” He didn’t have to ask you again, a strangled sob spilling from your lips as you reached your peak.

You don’t have much time to recover. Secondo picks you up around your waist and tosses you onto the bed, losing your pants in the process. You squeak as your ass hits the bed and he’s quickly kneeling in front of you. You manage to reach and tug at his robes, and he gladly helps you remove them. They drop to the floor in a heap, revealing a tight black t-shirt and even tighter briefs.

You’re finally able to get a good look at his face: the paint on the lower half of his face is smeared into a gray and you can see a little bit of his pink lips peeking through. Secondo’s fingers toy with the hem of your sweatshirt and you can’t help but wrap your legs around him and try to pull him in closer.

He nips at your jaw and then pushes your sweatshirt over your head, tugging it off and tossing it onto the floor. His hands are still gloved and he runs them up your back as he kisses down your chest. You rest your hand on his shoulders, then lightly drag your fingers to his neck. Secondo moans softly against you and you can feel the vibrations in your chest.

You suck in a breath as his lips close around one of your nipples, flicking his tongue against it. His fingers dig into your back and your head lolls back on your shoulders. He lets go of your nipple, lathing his tongue across it again before continuing to kiss down your stomach while his hands move down to your hips.

Secondo settles his face between your legs, looking up at you with dark eyes as his lips brush against your inner thigh. Your legs are already trembling and you move your hands to grip at the edges of the bed. He licks across your folds, moaning at the taste, and presses his face firmly against you.

His tongue dips inside you and your hips buck at the pressure. He grabs your legs and positions them over his shoulders, your heels digging into his back as he sinks his tongue even deeper inside you. You throw your head back, a loud, shameless moan spilling from your lips. Secondo digs his fingers into your hips, moving his lips up to seal around your clit.

“Secondo!” You whine as your heels press even hard into your back. You can feel him chuckle against you but he doesn’t stop. He swipes his tongue roughly against your clit over and over again while your leg muscles start to spasm. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You gasp, your chest heaving. Secondo growls again against you and this sends you over the edge again, tears stinging your eyes as you cum.

Secondo brings himself to his feet, lazily stroking himself through his briefs as you come down from your orgasm. He reaches for your chin with his free hand, running his thumb along your already parted lips. You’re panting heavily, your eyes watery as they drift up to his. The corners of your lips twitch into a small smile at the sight of him.

His eyes are blown wide with lust and you can see a blush peeking out from underneath his paint. You manage to lean up and run your fingers down his chest and stomach. He groans quietly, squeezing himself through his briefs. You move his hand away from his cock and tug his briefs down, his length springing free.

Your eyes flit up to his face and his mouth drops open as you grab him by the base. You lick the precum off his tip, a moan rumbling from his chest. Secondo moves his hand to grab you by the hair and forces you down his length. You hum around his length, your tongue running along the underside of it. His hips jerk into your mouth, his cock hitting the back of your throat and you can’t help but gag.

He yanks you off of him, a line of spit connecting your mouth and his cock. Your eyes are wide and you’re worried that you’ve done something wrong. That is, until he grabs you and pushes you down onto your back. He thrusts himself into you without warning and you scream, your nails scratching at his chest. Secondo’s hips are snapping ferociously into you, his thighs slapping hard against your ass.

“Fuck, Secondo!” You cry out, your voice hoarse from how much you’ve been screaming for him. He captures your lips, kissing you hungrily as he growls into your mouth. Your arms loop around his shoulders and you scratch at the base of his neck. 

“You like this, dolcezza?” He snarls between labored breaths. “You like when I fuck you into the mattress?” Secondo’s teeth tug at your bottom lip as you babble a series of “yes’s”. His hips stutter, jerking wildly as he reaches his climax. He buries himself deep inside of you and growls deep in his throat as he cums, spilling his seed. 

You’re left gasping beneath him, your chest heaving against his. Secondo picks his head up, looking at you with heavy-lidded eyes. He traces his gloved finger across your cheek with such tenderness. Your hands slide down his shoulders to his chest, running your fingers through his chest hair. He leans in and kisses you, a soft, gentle kiss that makes your heart flutter in your chest.

“Mia luna.” He mutters against your lips, then tilts his head up to press a kiss to your forehead. “I have some work to tend to, dolcezza. Would you like a shower?” Secondo’s nose brushes against yours, a soft smile playing on his lips. You try to speak but you’re unable to form words, only being able to mumble an affirmative. His lips pull into an even wider smile as he helps you to a sitting position.

***

You wrap yourself in a towel, your hair still wet as you step back into the bedroom. Secondo is gone. You take the opportunity to finally check your phone. There are several text messages waiting for you, one of which is your date from last night apologizing profusely about standing you up (some kind of emergency happened or whatever), and another from your friend you shared your location with, alerting you that you are at a satanic church.

“Good to know.” You mutter, tossing your phone onto the bed. Your gaze travels around the room before settling on the door. A quick beat goes by before you’re walking towards it, hand reaching out for the knob. You turn it. 

Unlocked.

A million thoughts start to flood your brain as you consider making a run for it. You quickly move back to the bed, changing into a new pair of sweats and crewneck that was left for you. An odd sense of anxiousness starts to fall over you as you eye up the door. Part of you is ready to go while another part is curious… curious if this was a trap and also curious as to what would happen if you just stayed… a bit longer. 

You lay down on the bed, stretching out your limbs as your brain is torn completely in half by trying to decide what to do. After a while, you end up falling asleep wrapped in Secondo’s comforter.

***

When you wake up, it’s already dark outside. You rub your eyes and sigh softly, thinking that you’ve probably missed your chance at escape. At this point, you’re not sure that’s a bad thing.

Your attention drifts to the window and you see him, not far off smoking a cigarette outside. You run your fingers through your hair and try to straighten out your sweatshirt. It’s bunched up and crumpled from taking a hard nap. You are teetering on the edge of going back to sleep or going outside to him. The pull from him ends up being too strong and you end up finding yourself walking slowly along the path to him.

You silently walk up beside him and he gives a soft grunt as a greeting. Secondo’s arm slides around your waist and pulls you to his side. “Mia luna, buona sera.” You can smell the smoke on his breath as he presses his nose to your cheek. You lean into his touch with a dreamy smile, still riding high off of the time you spent with him earlier in the day.

The moon is shining brightly like it had been the night before and the two of you stand, gazing at it in silence for a little while. “I do not offer membership here to just anyone, dolcezza.” Secondo muses, breaking the silence as he flicks his cigarette to the ground. He grinds his heel down on it, quickly putting it out. “I think you would thrive. You would be amongst other curious minds. Learn new skills and subjects.” His nose presses into your cheek again and you can feel that he’s smiling. “Plus, we would be able to have each other whenever we want.”

You feel the heat rise to your cheeks and offer a small giggle. “I still… have to think about it, you know.” You tilt your head so that your eyes meet his. The white eye is so bright in the darkness but his expression is much softer despite the scowling paint.

“Of course, dolcezza.” Secondo leans down to peck a kiss to your cheek. “You can leave whenever you like but…” He brings his hand up to stroke at your jaw. “I would like to spend another night with you in my arms, mia luna.” 

***

You left. You had to. You couldn’t just up and leave your life at the drop of a hat, even with how tempted you were to do it. But you had a job, a roommate and plants to take care of at your apartment. Plus, you didn’t want anyone to think you were sacrificed at the local satanic church either.

The weeks drag on. You end up going out on a date with the guy who stood you up (due to an emergency). He’s nice and you make plans to see each other again, and then again. Work is boring but at this point you are resigned to do the bare minimum in order to get that paycheck. You hang out with friends every so often and also spend plenty of time in your room watching your beloved reality tv shows.

Things are fully back to normal in your life despite the small detour. But, you often find yourself drifting off during your day at work or when you’re out with friends, or even when you’re on a date back to the time you spent with Secondo. Nothing has felt quite as thrilling as that night. Not even the more you get to know your new boytoy. 

You feel like you’ve been on autopilot for sometime when you start to feel that pull again. It’s been there, deep in the back of your mind since you left but it grows stronger by the day. The more bored you feel, the more you want to leave it all behind and go back. You’re almost annoyed with how Secondo has wormed his way into your brain.

Almost.

If you were actually annoyed, you wouldn’t be packing your bags right now. You wouldn’t be carefully wording a text message to your date. You wouldn’t have put in your notice at work that you were leaving. You wouldn’t be boarding an uber right now to go back to the ministry.

When you arrive, there are people in black masks ready to help you with your bags. It’s like they already knew you were coming somehow. They guide you to your new quarters. It was smaller than the room in your apartment you shared but it was quiet and it was yours. You start to unpack and organize your things when you hear a knock at your door.

It’s him. You know it’s him. He’s in his robes and mitre, face paint as scowly as ever but you can see the light smile on his face and the brightness in his eyes.

“Ah, mia luna, I knew you would come.”

#papa emeritus x reader #papa emeritus ii x reader #papa emeritus ii #secondo

[anxious-lee]

|| Jayvik Tickle Headcanons ||

A/N: in the spirit of doing what I want, I decided to grant these fruity ass motherfuckers some tickle fluff. yes it is ooc but at least they're happy :,)

I use the words "you" in this list but that's just how my brain dialogue comes out fastest. the "you" is always meant to be jayce or viktor

This list is in the context that they are married, so if this isn't your ship, you might not like this list. oh and there's tickling but whatever

-----

- jayce and vik are both lee-leaning switches

- but viktor gets tickled slightly more often than jayce does; he's a grumpy cat man and needs the affection

- let's start with viktor:

- very very ticklish

- wasn't touched a lot throughout his life, so his skin is very sensitive

- a few skittering fingers can have him leaping out of his skin

- most ticklish spots are his underarms definitely. unfortunately his arms aren't super strong so while he of course does try to squeeze them shut to block the spots, it doesn't keep the ler out

- his ribs are his second worst. he's so skin and bones at this point that just massaging the bone through his skin has him laughing hard

- his laugh ranges from high-pitched chuckles to near-silent and breathy hiccups. jayce knows he's hit a jackpot when he hears the silent laugh

- idea from @tickly-trashcan that jayce will scoop viktor up and plop him on a counter so he can't escape his tickle attack

- tickly kisses are his kryponite

- viktor doesn't hate tickling but doesn't love it either. before he met jayce, he didn't like it at all. he thought it was undignified. he still does, but that's kind of the fun of it. what's the good in spending your life working if you don't let yourself play every now and then?

- will go along with it for the game of it or because he's simply too exhausted to fight back

- if he senses a tickle ambush coming, he'll start waving away his attacker (jayce) with his cane, threatening to bonk him with it

- i cannot communicate how cute of a lee he is. despite the cold exterior, he is a ticklish little puppy

- VERY squirmy. CANNOT stop squirming

- said it before but I'll say it again: ✨️ hiccup-laughter ✨️

- he doesn't like the fluffy kind of tickle teasing. if you must, go for snarky comments and sarcastic quips. that'll make him blush

- can't outrun his ler, so he's in deep shit when jayce is in a ler mood

- can't chase his lee either so escaping him is pretty easy

- which is why it's so sus when jayce still manages to get caught by him. almost makes one think jayce doesn't WANT to escape hmmmm???

- but back to viktor

- he is a shockingly good ler

- his hands have spent a lifetime delicately handling machinery so you know he's got some meticulous fingers

- very observant to what spots hit you the hardest

- teases you about possibly enjoying yourself because of how little you're trying to escape

- treats wrecking you like a scientific experiment. ("let's see what happens when I touch right... here" "hm. you seem to be very ticklish there. i will need to gather more data on this, for science, after all")

- remembers every one of your tickle spots. every single one.

- laughs with his lee. it's all just so silly and ridiculous ❤️

- NOW ONTO JAYCE:

- bro isn't as ticklish as viktor but he is fucking BAD

- also doesn't have as much self-control as viktor in order to hold his laughter in in time. (I can't tell you how many times he's accidentally been prodded and he's let out a laugh in the middle of a council meeting. in an otherwise quiet room. viktor teases him about this relentlessly)

- similarly to when gets caught sneaking into his lab, jayce is terrible at talking his way out of getting tickled. he panics and says the most random shit in an attempt to distract the ler for long enough to get away. viktor is unfortunately too smart for it and it never works

- laugh ranges from adorable little deep giggles to infectious belly laughter

- does actually enjoy being tickles him but is completely humiliated by it. trying to get him to admit it is like pulling teeth

- exaggerates to viktor how much he DOESNT love it and is JUST going with it to be a good sport

- ^ says the man who sits perfectly still while getting his shit wrecked

- teases that point out how much he's having fun fluster him BEYOND SPEECH. BITCH GOES NONVERBAL AT THAT SHIT

- hides his face when getting tickled, even if just a little bit

- poor boi is so embarrassed

- most ticklish spots are his sides, which make it super convenient for viktor to jab his the end of his cane into his side at any given time

- second worst spot are his feet

- in a tickle fight, viktor is the one to call mercy most of the time

- jayce has the advantage of not being crippled and ill 🤷‍♀️

- most ticklings between these two happen either when they're bored or restless in the lab or in bed as they're preparing to sleep

- jayce is not a great ler, but he loves to be one

- he is so addicted to making vik laugh to the point where it starts to get on viktor's nerves if he's trying to work

- jayce has SERIOUS ler moods. he doesn't know that's what they're called or that there's even a word for it, but they're there

- prefers to tickle with vibrations and squeezes

- teases viktor with things like "what was that? I can't hear you, can you speak up?" knowing damn well vik's laughing his lungs out

- ^ other oblivious and sarcastic teases are jayces specialty

- a very fast tickler. you think he's in one spot and then suddenly he's moved to another

- uses tickle hugs

- jayce first found out viktor was ticklish one late night at the lab when viktor refused to call it a night. jay tried bargaining with him to get him to go to sleep, but he wouldn't budge. exasperated, jay tried lifting him to bed, but when he pulled him up by his armpits, vik started to giggle and pull away. let's just say convincing viktor to sleep became a lot easier after that

- viktor learned jayce was ticklish a few weeks later. the latter was so enthralled in his notes that he hadn't noticed viktor was talking to him. after calling to him several times, vik hobbled over and jabbed him, right in his unprotected side. jay jumped in his chair with a half-laugh, half-yelp and asked vik what he needed, very flusteredly. viktor, amused, asked "what was that?" and proceeded to poke fun at him. jayce, absolutely mortified, wouldn't face him until he changed the subject.

- but they've both grown to appreciate the laughter filled moments they spend together ❤️

------

WHY CANT THEY BE HAPPY FOR ONCE?! 😭

#tickle #tickles #tickling #ticklish #tickle community #lee talks #tickle headcanons #arcane tickles

[baratiddyappreciator]

Hey again 😭, can you write about the Baki men and their reaction to their s/o squirting?

Oh I can do that lmao, that is a no problemo situation! Added in a bonus Motobe because I see you. Sorry it took me so long, I'm going longer-form with this one. SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMG I'm on vacation and the internet at my villa isn't the best. Clearly NSFW, Minors fuck off kthx. Continued under the cut, very tempted to do short-stories with these ones, but I'm restraining myself and behaving.

Baki:

Confused, surprised, and for about a second he thinks he made you pee yourself and he feels really bad about it. He's deadass about to appologise profusely until he notices the incredibly satisfied look on your face, then it clicks.

He doesn't do it on purpose, he didn't really know how to, if he's being honest, and after the first time he does it, he has no idea how to replicate it, but he will absolutely try to given your permission. He swears he'll clean up the mess.

He won't do it all the time, of course, but he'll definitely save it for when you have a rough day and need some care, because he knows that that's a powerful ass orgasm and you might appreciate it.

Both genders can apparently squirt, so regardless of what parts you may have, you can also get Baki to squirt. It's a mess and he winds up having to just Take a Minute after, but it's worth it.

Hanayama:

He's proud of himself. Surprised? No not really, he's got a lot to work with, so he'd be more surprised if he doesn't. He's still proud of himself though.

Does he know what he did to make you squirt? Nope. Will he try and replicate it? Not really, he doesn't really have to, because he'll do it again at some point in time. It takes you squirting like 4 or 5 times for him to realise what it is he's doing that makes you squirt.

Once he figures out how to make you squirt, unless you tell him not to, he'll make you squirt every time you guys have sex. He enjoys knowing that he's making you cum really good.

You can try and make him squirt, but it doesn't really happen. You might get it to happen maybe once or twice, but it's not a super common thing for him, and he doesn't appreciate making a mess.

Chiharu:

Ecstatic. He watches it happen with wide eyes and a smile brighter than the sun. He'll fuck you through it just to see if he can make you cum harder. He wants to make your legs shake and your eyes roll back.

Oh he knows exactly what he did and how he did it. He'll do the exact same thing again only seconds later to test that theory, and it'll probably wind up making you cum again. Use the authority you have over him, because unless you tell him not to, he'll make you squirt your brains out.

Given the chance and the permission he'll wear you out. He'll spend the entire time pleasuring you, either by oral or by using his fingers or cock. At that point, he's getting off on the idea that he's making you cum.

When you actually sit down and give basic effort, he is shockingly easy to make squirt. He trusts you completely when it comes to the bedroom, so if you ask him to do something, he'll do it. Getting to cum is just a bonus.

Katsumi:

You come down from your orgasm and look at Katsumi only to see his eyes are the size of dinner plates. He had no idea that you could do that, and he had no idea that he'd done the right thing to get you to do that. Shocked and amazed.

He knows how he did it, the moment is playing in his head over and over. He'll try it again with your permission, or sometimes while you two are fucking he'll just start doing something he knows will make you squirt.

Having a bad day? Let him run you a bath, but could you come here and point out the bubble bath you want to use. Oh, looks like he's fucking you on the edge of the tub, getting you to squirt all over the floor. Whoops!

He's harder to get to squirt, if only because he's not as sensitive, but it's possible. Get him worked up, get him tied down, and go to town on him.

Jack:

He's not going to stop fucking you while you squirt. As a matter of fact, it's one of the few moments where he's openly dominant and domineering. He'll grab you by the throat and talk filthy to you while he makes you cum.

He knows the exact thing that had you squirting, and he can replicate it perfectly. He knows all sorts of little things that make you cum, and he will use them.

He knows when making you squirt is appropriate, but that being said, sometimes he just needs the confidence boost of making you cum that hard, so he'll do it and ask for forgiveness after. Don't worry about the mess, he'll clean it up.

SHOCKINGLY easy to make squirt in practice, but getting him to actually do anything to make him squirt takes a lot of convincing. With him, saying that you want to try something new is fine enough, he'll let you do so, but saying that you want to make him squirt makes him avoid you a little bit.

Kosho:

Stunned silence. He's stopped doing anything, his mouth is open and will not close, he's staring at you, stunned. He's not overly pleased by having to clean up the mess, but he very much likes seeing you cum like that.

He doesn't know what he did, and he's kinda scared to try again in case he does something wrong or actually succeeds and gets a mess all over.

Sometimes though, he's going to go feral whenever he notices that you're having a bad day. The whole concept of "oh no a mess" goes out the window, and he's going to make you nut so hard you'll pass out. Squirt or no, he'll show you a good time.

He's borderline impossible to make squirt. He just isn't really capable of doing so, you'd have to work on him for literal hours, which, while fun, is incredibly overstimulating, or you'd have to get really lucky.

Kureha:

He's not surprised. It's like everyday business for him, though he'll lean into the dirty talk. Not to the same degree as Jack, but it's still some good dirty talk. He's a little surprised if you squirt out of nowhere for the first time without previously doing so, but still, not overly shocked.

He knows everything that happened perfectly. He knows the anatomy, he knows what to do to make it happen. He knows. It takes minimal effort from him.

Sometimes he likes to make you feel small and stupid, because he'll walk up, pin you on a table and then boom, you've made a mess, but other times he'll drag you to the shower, pin you against the wall and look you dead in the eyes as he makes you cum, just so he can look at you while you do it.

He can squirt, doesn't do it very often or in very large amounts, but he is able to. If you're struggling, he outright tells you what to do to make him squirt. He's a bitch, but he's not evil.

Retsu:

Shocked and apologetic. He actually does think he made you piss yourself and he is very sorry. He doesn't listen for the first little bit because he's busy apologizing and cleaning up, all while still hard and cleaning up.

He has no idea what he did or how he did it, but you apparently really liked it so if you want he'll try. The second time he makes you squirt is very awkward for him, but he gets it done. But the third time, it's like he's on a mission. It's a complete 180 in personality and it's great.

He doesn't mind cleaning, he usually cleans up after you two have sex anyways. He wants his precious to sleep in clean sheets and pajamas, and you can't really do that if there's cum everywhere.

Honestly, not hard at all. Get him turned on enough and then give him a handjob and you start to notice that that's not just precum he's leaking. Get him to properly squirt and he'll lose the ability to think for a solid three hours.

Doppo:

Smug bastard will lock eyes with you, your squirt all over his chest and face and he'll just smirk. He's proud of himself, and he'll make subtle little remarks that call back to it out in public just to watch you blush and squirm.

He knows what he did, how he did it and when it's appropriate to make you squirt again. He'll make you forget how to exist for a minute the next time he makes you squirt, and he'll tease you about it, but that's what he was going for.

He'll do it whenever. Some coworker got on your nerves? He'll bend you over the kitchen counter and get to work. Did he get dragged out to speak with Yujiro and the ogre pissed him off? He'll take you where you stand.

He's harder to get to squirt. He'll do everything he can to get around it, he'll even try flipping it on you, but even then, he's much less sensitive than the others, and will take a bit of work to get gushing.

Shibukawa:

Proud, smug, and he will tease you about it, about how hard you were cumming because of him, your expression, even the sound you made. However, it's a fond teasing, and he'll make it clear that it's only playful teasing.

He has no clue how he did it, despite what he might say. You ask him to do that again and he just chuckles and teases you, but it's so he can wrack his brain trying to remember exactly what he was doing to you before you came. He'll figure it out eventually though, he's clever.

He likes to make you squirt at the most inconvenient times. Are guests coming over in ten minutes? He's made you squirt all over the floor and now you have to clean that up and completely hide the evidence with only three minutes left.

He's almost as easy to make squirt as Jack is. You play around with him for a little and boom, there it goes. He's got nothing to say other than more playful teasing, but it's fine, just make him cum again and he'll shut up.

Motobe:

Smug, teasing and cocky. He's get your cum all over his chest and stomach, and all you'll see when you come back down from cumming is him smirking at you smugly. Brace yourself, is all I have to say.

He'll make you do it again and again until either he is satisfied or until you beg him to give you a break, and even then, he'll still keep shallowly fucking you with only his tip, it'll drive you insane.

You squirt whenever he wants. Sometimes he doesn't want to clean, and other times he's in a Fuck It mood and will make you cum all over his sheets. He'll wash them anyways, but still, just the thought of your cum staining them drives him insane.

It takes a bit of work to get him to squirt, but it is possible. He's like a hard medium difficulty. It's difficult, but not impossible, and he'll absolutely play it down. He'll be clawing at the sheets, cumming, rolling his eyes back and making noises, but the second he comes down he's like "Well that didn't suck. Was that all?"

#baki the grappler #baki son of ogre #baki dou #grappler baki #baki headcanons #baki hanma #hanayama kaoru #chiharu shiba #katsumi orochi #jack hanma #kosho shinogi #kureha shinogi #retsu kaioh #doppo orochi #shibukawa gouki #motobe izou

[xamaxenta]

crashes in thru the window A Vision. Ive Seen A Vision. sabos hands are covered in scars from using his dragon claw thingy and professional martial artists like brickbreakers and shit literally have their bones thicken over time from healing microfractures to provide more strength and power BUT it can come at the cost of joint pain and/or arthritis especially with age. what im saying is scarred calloused weapons of mass destruction sabo hands and rough warm physicians tools, lifetime of rope and rigging and worn ships marco the phoenix hands, gently easing the very literal ache in sabos bones with his two hands cupped around sabos (and sabo is slighter, his hands at first glance look narrow and delicate, but by the time youre close enough to see the scars on his pasty ass skin its too late for you, and marcos workmans hands completely eclipse his) full of warm healing flames . sabo and marco bite and snark and tease and fuck nasty so much that some ppl cannot tell if they like or hate each other but at the end of the day there is no one sabo trusts more to look over his strongest most intimate weapons (LITERALLY attached to/part of his body) like honing the fine edge of a blade that cuts anyone who touches it . but marco bleeds fire. they bicker and argue and tease but here it is silent. the only sounds are the warm rustle of callouses dragging against each other abd the soft rumble of crackling phoenix fire, louder than a candle but quieter than a lantern, and when it pops and snaps it sounds more like leaves and sea waves carried by the breeze and sabo finally, finally can relax for just a moment

This makes me yearn so much i am so full of yearning rn

Absolutely beautiful commentary of their relationship

Sabo’s a man of many facets and Marco wholly understands this and does what he can to enable it, if anything to protect him

If Sabo needs to be seen as someone dangerous vicious tongued, sharper wit, someone so beyond the league of normal men then Marco, the phoenix, who has had plenty of experience would do anything to enable this image

Because when theyre alone he gets to see Sabo as he is because Sabo trusts him implicitly and that means so much more than any words they could share or any snarky performance for the public could

Its rly soft aaaaaah wnishdoshd

Also the softest imagery of Sabo allowing Marco to look over his hands, press out the hurt, the ache, soothe the angry sharpness in his wrists that flares up whenever he writes, Sabo going boneless into his embrace hes shockingly vulnerable like this, without the squaring of his shoulders and the confident commanding pitch of his voice its easy to see the soft nobility in his form something hes striven to move beyond

#marcosabo #marsab #MAS #and Ace is like why bother with this performance at all??? #sabo; there’s a heirarchy i have to establish for my public image #ace: but how come u dont do that w me #sabo: darling… no one expects anything other than adoration when it comes to you #ace: :0 #anyway Marco’s happy to bicker its fun #and later when hes sitting legs tangled with sabos in peace hes like that went well #sabo leans in to snuggle against him like yeah #thanks #its a little complicated just a bit haha

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Any thoughts on the casting for The Last of Us season 2?

Oh god. So many.

So, I actually have all of TLOU show related tags blocked - because just seeing mentions of the show gets me kind of ticked. I miss the strike era when production of the show was delayed indefinitely.

But as far as the casting - I think Dina's casting is alright. I was one of those people who was naively hoping that Cascina would actually get to play Dina in the show, but I knew realistically that was never actually gonna happen.

Abby's casting however - I genuinely think that Kaitlyn Denver is a horrible choice. Like they looked up all the people who absolutely cannot play Abby and then they picked her.

Someone said that she looks like young Ellie - and I think for a long time, she was a popular fancast for Ellie. And to me, she looks like she can maybe only play young Abby in flashbacks. So unless they're gonna completely surprise people and only have her playing young Abby and then have someone else playing the real main timeline version of Abby - it won't work.

If you guys know me, then you know that I am incredibly protective of Abby's character. And based on the complete bastardization that they did of Season 1/TLOU 1, I already knew that they were going to royally fuck up Abby's character in some way.

And yes, I am basing most of my opinions on the fact that she is small and thin and Abby is supposed to be muscled, but people don't understand how pivotal that aesthetic is as a part of Abby's characterization.

(And they were never going to find someone perfect unless they used 2 different actors - one for flashbacks and one for the main timeline - because Abby gets ripped over years but it is shown in one short story, and her model was made with 2 different people - one for the face and one for the body, so they could keep her face on a younger, thinner body in flashbacks.)

Abby being muscled is actually a pivotal thing - it means she is feared and respected among the WLF, it means that Lev and Yara immediately fall in and trust to follow her through the woods because they view her as a protector when they are vulnerable and alone. Her body is a tool that is useful to her - it makes her completely immune to Isaac's violence right up until the moment she looks him in the eyes and asks him not to shoot Lev, and even then, he is asking her to step away from Lev so that he doesn't have to kill his best solider.

Isaac was more willing to kill Owen - thinking of Owen as disposable - than he was willing to kill Abby. And I think that breach of our society's typical sexism (where a man is always a better fighter, Abby supersedes that) in their post apocalyptic world, is really, truly shown by Abby's large stature.

Not only that, but it makes her physical malnutrition and how much she has wasted away because of the Rattlers that much more shocking. (Which, if they were going to depict that, it would be easy to do so with a heavily muscled actor and then make them look shockingly thin with CGI and makeup - but that scene is one of the reasons why video games are sometimes a better format. It being 100% computer generated means no actors had to be harmed during those scenes.)

Also (I wish I had screenshots of the specific lines) - but Abby and Owen's breakup at the Aquarium is about her training (her urge to gain muscle in order to aid of her long term revenge mission toward Joel) - Owen is surprised when Abby says she can bench press 140 pounds, and therefore, she can easily lift him. And Owen is insulted that Abby wants to spend more time training than she does with him - he is upset that her trauma and her revenge has overtaken her life to the point where she doesn't want to goof off watching spotted seals, and instead - just wants to train more.

And this leads more into the dynamic of - Owen is a disposable pawn (who pretends to take a pacifist stance when he's really a coward) and Abby has to vouch for his life with Isaac because she is infinitely more valued in the organization.

There is just a lot of layers to it - and they're already fucking it up.

I am trying my hardest to ignore the fact that she show exists, but it's actively lowering the IQ of the fandom every single day, and now I am gonna have to take braindead Abby takes from people who have only seen the show, and I genuinely wish it had never been made in the first place.

#sundrop answers #anonymous #TLOU #the last of us #the last of us season 2 #the last of us part II #abby anderson

[the-archxr]

headcanon request: dancing with the moon knight boys?

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

you ask, and you shall receive.

JAKE - Jake fucking loves to dance. Like yes, he might be this big, bad, murderous man, but he will not hesitate to take every opportunity to dance with you. (His favourite place being the kitchen.) He likes to do the salsa, or at least some variation of it, because let’s be honest, y’all get way too distracted. Especially when you’re trying to keep an eye on the frying vegetables all while dealing with his wandering hands. Anything that’s high energy and allows him to be pressed up against you as much as possible, he will try at least once. He would also definitely take you to impromptu dancing classes, and of course everyone swoons over him—tries to not-so-subtlety dance with him in the process. But he never lets go of you once, refusing to be partnered up with anyone else.

STEVEN - now, shockingly, once you and Steven get more familiar with each other, he is incredibly coordinated. I mean spinning you around, pulling your body back into his and dipping you type a shit. Similar to Jake, he’s very good with fast-paced routines, but Steven definitely prefers intimate slow-dancing. He’s a soft romantic, after all. So really, there’s nothing better than having his head on your shoulder, swaying you back and forth with your hand in his. When he dances with you, he always puts on his records—purposefully picks the cheesiest, most romantic ones in his collection (though sometimes, if you convince him enough, he’ll let you use your phone). His go-to’s are always Edith Piaf, Frank Sinatra or Etta James. Simply because they just set the right mood, and Steven is all about setting the tone.

MARC - at first, marc was the least likely to initiate dancing. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, because he really does, more than anything. It’s just that he’s never actually tried. Being that his home wasn’t nourishing; wasn’t loving nor supportive, that kind of easy-going feeling associated with dancing wasn’t really in the cards. He simply never had the time for it. But everything changes one night, when he’s watching you and Steven laughing and dancing in the reflection of a nearby mirror. And it’s from that point, when he realizes how much you love it, that he starts to teach himself. He does it at first whenever you’re at work, watching basic tutorials on YouTube (in his mind, if he taught himself to cook, he can teach himself to dance). Except, for once, he’s not a natural at it. He’s completely uncoordinated, which aggravates him because of course this stubborn ass man wants to be perfect for you—wants to surprise you with these brand new acquired skills. And then you’re coming home early one day, and you catch him stumbling over his feet, cursing at himself at he tries to get his footing. He nearly gives up, until you wordlessly take his hands into yours and begin to move in circles. He steps on your toes a couple of times; bumps into you over and over again. But eventually, as he follows your footwork, he gets the hang of it, because Marc is a fast-learner.

Soon, it becomes routine that no matter where you are, no matter what the situation is, your boys love to dance with you. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

✨the-archxr thoughts✨

#the-archxr thoughts #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #moon knight x reader #mr knight x reader #moon knight #mr knight #moon knight tv #the moon boys #dancing #ask me anything!

[bisexual-horror-fan]

"How It's Always Been." Ethan Landry History.

Ay, ayyyy! So uh. I am just so, so into Ethan Landry it is fucking stupid. So much that I am posting this thing, a history mock up for Ethan of what I think life is like, this is angsty, family drama heavy, character deep, dive-y and includes some murder too! Enjoy it! I am gonna do some smut of him soon but for now, remember this is just my thoughts and headcanons and opinions, so enjoy this!

—

Rating. Explicit. Length. 2.5K. NOT READER INSERT. This is just about Ethan baby. Warnings: SCREAM  6 SPOILERS. Family Drama. Angst. Neglect. Abuse. Coercion. Complex Emotions. Mixed Morality. Murder. Blood. Gore. Ethan Is A Fucked Up Guy. And I Love Him For It.

—

Life for Ethan has never, ever been easy, or if it ever was, it was before he was truly cognizant and able to remember properly. Something always felt off but it took him a long time to be able to pin it down, and when he did it was like a glass shattering moment. The pane fractures and splits, breaking apart with knowledge that once received cannot be unlearned. Unfixable, even if you were to shift through the broken shards and painstakingly glue it back together your hands would be left torn and bleeding and the cracks would still show clear as day through the smudges of crimson fingerprints.

The biggest injustice in Ethan’s life was the worst one a person can suffer, the cruelty of total indifference. 

Have you ever experienced that? Being so totally and thoroughly ignored by everyone who is supposed to matter most? The people who share what is supposed to be a home with? Who birthed you into this world? Forced you the same way we all are into this shared experience we all call life, meant to play with the cards we are dealt. The middle of three and painfully ignored in all things in favour of his siblings. He can’t even be that mad at Quinn, to start anyway, it’s all about Richie, it’s always all about Richie.

He remembered the only good times and memories he had with his brother, when he wasn’t being a total fucking asshole, was when his needs and interests were being catered to and even then, not all the time. Filming his Stab tribute film was a complete mixed bag of some shockingly awesome moments mixed in with Richie having all the unwarranted, misplaced rage and self confidence found in a typical film bro who has watched one too many movies and swept one too many things Quinten Tarantino did under the rug. He was going on about how some aspects weren’t right, redoing takes over and over while waxing poetic about his fucking vision and berating his amateur friends and family who have never made a film or acted in any serious capacity before. 

Ethan used to love his brother, used to fucking look up to the guy but as he aged, rose tinted glasses gave way to show the truth of the kind of person Richie really was as well as the realization that he was the reason that their parents didn’t give a fuck about him. 

At first he tried not to blame him, Richie didn’t ask for all the attention but he sure as shit didn’t stop it either, and why would he when he is being so heavily catered to? His feelings about all of it were complex to say the least, going from real family caring about family, to disillusionment, to annoyance to anger, and eventually, outright hatred. He tried to get over it, tried to fix it and heal the hurt before it reached that level and the damage was permanent but Richie didn’t make it easy at all. From the lack of interest in Ethan’s life, hobbies, general well being, to the outright bullying he subjected him to at points. Richie is only a quarter of an inch taller than him but you’d think he was a full foot taller from how he acted so superior about the whole thing. 

Ethan felt bad for a moment when he found out about Richie dying, because a small, sick part of him was fucking happy. Experiencing joy thinking that now with Richie gone he was the only son, that meant something, now his dad would pay attention, now he would care-

Except that isn’t the case at all. Even in death it’s still all about Richie. 

At first it made sense, grief, mourning, sure, he was feeling it too to a degree, it was natural of course. 

But then Gale Weathers fucking book came out. 

Wayne is not the most reasonable man on the best of days, which a cop? Unstable? Unheard of. Then when the whole story came out and he read it, he was livid. Ethan swears some nights when he is lying awake he can still hear his father screaming, breaking things, tearing pages out of that damn book, yelling on and on about how it was- “Slander! That bitch can’t say these things about our boy! It isn’t true! He-he would never-”

Ethan isn’t exactly surprised. Richie was always really, really into not just the movies but the reality of it, the actual cases that book and film drew from. Wayne indulging in his habit by providing him with some ill gotten possessions of real life murder and crime scene evidence didn’t help either. 

At one point, when he was still trying to fix this, trying to salvage what was left of their relationship as family, he used one of his few talents and escapes to entertain his brother. He has a love for art, drawing, and has filled sketchbooks over the years with his sketches and musings. Mostly on the nights he would be re-watching a movie he had already seen, picked apart and analysed for the fifth time at least, something to help divide his attention and occupy his hands the night gaming didn’t seem appealing.  

He did a series of sketches in secret, he researched a lot to make them happen, and one night he showed Richie pencil outlines, red ink for blood, showing off various people from the cases, either dead or dying or whatever struck him as right. He thinks it might have been the time Richie was happiest with him,recalling the praise and excited ramblings, even if Richie didn’t know art, he gave it up for Ethan’s attention to detail and the visceral and violent nature he depicted in his work. 

“The black and white with only the blood being coloured?! It’s so, what’s the right word-Striking! It’s so striking.” 

Ethan tried to be happy too but it still felt hollow because it was all about what his brother wanted, when he tried to show him any non-Woodsboro or Stab related sketches he didn’t give them a second glance and certainly no compliment. Richie started making requests of even more intense extreme and grotesque nature, and then it became somewhat of an obligation as opposed to a project he was doing on his own time and for his own strange curiosity and enjoyment. Portraying these horrifying acts with starting realism was challenging and he had to admit that when he nailed the milky dead eyed look of a victim in a crime scene or the cross hatching was just perfect, he felt a sick and odd sense of…What was it? Pride? Amusement? Longing? It was a hard to define, outright miasma of emotions. 

The drawings get less and less as time wears on and his brother stops asking as much.

His dad is fucking insane, so is his sister, they say grief makes people do crazy things, but plotting to frame someone for murder to clear your son’s name is up there as probably one of the most extreme reactions one can have. He didn’t even really want to be a part of it but his dad and sister just immediately started talking as if he would be down, not considering his feelings or that he might not want this but that was how it was in his family.

No one ever thought of what Ethan wanted, they just assumed he’d go with the flow, the conversation “convincing him” was short, like they expected him to give way with a stiff breeze. So he had no choice, he lied, he said, of course he wanted to help, that he felt everything that they did but he didn’t. 

What he did feel was a misguided sense of hope, the idea that he might be able to have a real place in this family once everyone feels that they have avenged Richie. They can be a family again and now that he is the only son his dad will have to pay attention to him, and have to love him. 

Everything they suggested he went along with, all the convoluted and complicated details he was here for it and ready to do whatever they asked.

Wrapping his head around the act of it took some doing. Some late nights sat up wondering if he could really do that, could take someone's life, and after much internal fighting he decided it was worth it. What else did he have outside of his family? He invested so much time, so much effort, he couldn’t give up now, if this works then they can be happy and he can have everything he ever wanted, have them care about and for him. 

He wanted to show them as well as himself he could, if Richie could do it, so could he. 

It was around this time he showed his dad the sketches he showed Richie before. It did what he hoped, showed him he was serious about this, it curried some favour, he felt good, a sense of pride as his dad complimented his work. When the sketches were framed and included in the collection he actually cried that night, when alone, that sense of hope grew.

The plan formed quickly, Wayne and Quinn were obsessed and entirely consumed with it. He learned fast that anything he had to contribute would be heavily scrutinised and most likely rejected, he was just expected to fill the role they wanted of him.

As the plan grew it became painfully apparent that there was a lot expected of him, not only did he have to fit into the plan, play his part in the killings, he had to insert himself into the friend group, be there to help lead them where they needed to be and throw off suspicion and more. Quinn slotted herself in as Sam and Terra’s roommate and all the while had been frothing up a subreddit and online community dedicated to proving Richie as innocent and Sam as the true villain. He watched a few times and was present when Quinn would be going on her posting sprees, VPNs, fake IP’s and dummy accounts where tons upon tons of things were posted to push the narrative in the direction she wanted. It was honestly kind of scary, the dedication, the meanness she displayed. Ethan was glad he wasn’t on Quinn’s shit list, having her being not just pissed but willing and ready to dedicate large swaths of her life and time to tearing your life apart is terrifying. 

The lead up was a nerve wracking, what if he couldn’t worm his way in? What would he do then? It would cement him as a failure to his family. There was a lot of pressure to succeed but luckily, he and Chad got along really well. 

Or at least that is what Chad and the group thought which is what was really important. 

When it came down to it, after he was settled into the routine and knew the core group, it was time for the real plan to get going. The killings kicked off, he’d been amping himself up for it, trying to really get himself in the headspace to do it but something unexpected happened. Wearing the outfit and the mask, he chased down the victim that was supposed to be for practice, to make sure he could really do it when the time came, a totally nobody of a person, he managed to catch them with relative ease. 

The knife slid into that first victim and when he stabbed them, he felt alive, more alive than he ever had and also he felt seen. 

Even with the mask on, even though the person couldn’t see his face, their eyes were locked on him, centred in this moment, focused totally on him, the blade in his hand, driven into their stomach, it was shockingly intimate. A nervous lick of his lips behind the decaying mask, heavy breathing, his own chest heaving, an urge strikes, he follows the instinct he twists the knife. The body below him, because that is what it is, no longer a human, not a person with a life, thoughts, hopes or dreams, it is a body, one that is quickly dying, is going weak in the knees. 

Shakey blood stained hands clutching weakly at him, trying to push him away but he had stolen all the breath from their lungs when he forced his way inside, had affected them. He had changed them, is in the process of destroying them, altering them irrevocably, for the worse. He feels powerful for the first time maybe ever. He pulls the knife out and the soon to be corpse gasps, mouth open, blood on their teeth they whimper pathetically, he drives the knife forward again and it becomes a blur after that. Stab, rip, tear, in and out, back and forth warm sprays of blood and sounds of pain and anguish, wetness soaks through his glove and the robe and nothing has felt better. Being inside someone, turns out, no matter the context of the penetration, is a sensation he had been craving down to the marrow in his bones and now he was woken up to it. Knew what he had been missing. He craves it again, he wants more.

The strength it takes to accomplish the goal, to leave the body on the wet pavement, totally slack, eyes dead, skin turning cold, leaves him panting, sweaty and satisfied, staring down at the mess of red and spilled intestines. It didn’t feel like enough. Thankfully this is only the first time, the first of many, there will be plenty more opportunities to play, to have fun, to practise and get better, to forge new memories. 

Robe and mask in his bag, coat slipped on and zipped up to cover the blood that had soaked through the costume to his shirt, he leaves the body behind after dumping it into the dumpster. A trembling hand ran through heavy sweat soaked curls, he felt totally high on what he just did. 

No one expects him, no one is aware of the brutality he is capable of because of all the sheer frustration he has bubbling underneath the surface. He is going to show everyone that he has worth, he can do this. 

A chew of his bottom lip as he thinks and relives what he just experienced, vivid images and sound dancing through his mind as he is walking to the subway, thoughts of how this can give him everything he wanted. 

It’s all so clear, no one can ignore him with a seven inch steel blade buried in their body. If this is all it took to get a little attention and recognition, then he would have started doing it sooner. Richie was a self centred idiot, but he was right about this at the very least, killing has undeniable appeal that he intended to fully lose himself in, and finally things will change for him.

#Ethan Landry #scream 6 x reader #BHF writing #WELP #HERE WE ARE #THE NEW BOY #I loveeee him #As you can see by the angst before we ever get any smut #I am very very into him and have so many feelings #ENJOY IT

[qweerhet]

i just wanted to share my experience. i dont wanna go into too much identifying detail but like. one of my best friends used to be my abuser. we were in an unhealthy codependent relationship for years, both abusing alcohol to cope with our traumas, and unfortunately abusing me as well. eventually we broke up and moved into different places, and both decided to stop drinking for our own sakes. after space and time we came back together to talk and have some closure. we both missed each other as friends. we set very clear boundaries with each other, and started hanging out more in slow and small increments. we both went to therapy, and not only did i process trauma there, i also got to speak to my abuser about it. and actually be heard. its shockingly healing to hear your ex abuser say "that was so fucked up what i did, and im sorry." sometimes these memories pop up still and we kinda have an understanding that me bringing it up is to talk through it with them, not out of anger. for some reason it really helped my healing to understand what my abuser had been thinking and going through themselves during the abuse.

people really don't understand when i try to explain it to them, they look at me like am an idiot, still being abused without realizing it. im not saying it was Easy, or without road bumps. we had fights a couple of times. but now, i feel so much more healed over that trauma than any other in my life. i feel actual closure, and i trust my friend completely now. i just want people to respect that, but oftentimes they don't :(

i don't really have much to say to this--just that i appreciate you sharing this, and that i personally resonate with a lot of it. i've had a similar experience--i don't refer to it as abuse for myself, because i don't think they had hierarchical power over me and i was genuinely just as toxic and violent towards them as they were to me during the period of time that was most harmful. but it was harm, it was emotional toxicity and power games, it was a lot of mutual toxic drug abuse, and it was sexual violence towards me specifically.

and... yeah, we broke up, and moved out, and both did a lot of trauma work and processing and community building and both giving and receiving emotional aid. and eventually, we got to a place where we started being friends again and are able to talk very openly about what we did to each other and why. and hearing "that was fucked up, i'm sorry i did that, and here's why it was wrong and how i act differently now" about the sexual violence i experienced... was the only thing that got me past the sexual trauma i carried with me from that time, in the end.

that's a personal statement. it's not going to apply to everyone, or even most people. but i really appreciated your willingness to share your experience publicly, and i'd like to reciprocate in turn for once. (probably not going to do more personal life experience sharing on this blog, or at least not in more detail than i have already, but i felt like this was an important one to share in this context.)

but yeah. it's really hard when people don't respect that or treat you like you're a naive idiot.

#anonymous #ask

[prodigal-explorer]

i hate when people online try to make people who hate fictional characters feel bad about hating them.

“did you even read/watch/play the (media)?”

“clearly you don’t get the point of the (media).”

“if you like (character a), then there’s no reason for you to disliker (character b)!”

or god forbid

“but (character) is neurodivergent/mentally ill/some other ludicrous excuse! that means you have to forgive them for every bad thing they ever did!”

whatever happened to having preferences and respecting those preferences? whatever happened to someone saying “i hate (character).” and other people being like “okay.”. like is that really so hard?? to just respect people’s opinions on fictional characters without making them feel like they’re invalid?

shockingly enough, you actually don’t need a reason to dislike a character. you can just hate a character cuz you don’t like their vibe, or because they remind you of someone irl who you dislike, or just because you’re in the mood to be a hater and that character is just so easy to hate.

and sometimes you just personally can’t forgive that character for whatever bad thing they did! incapability to forgive someone for doing fucked up things doesn’t make you a bad person. it just makes you a human who just happens to not like a person who did fucked up things.

believe it or not, it’s just that simple. idk why the internet is obsessed with turning everything into a moral quandary.

i am a hater and i’ll stay a hater! and yes i understand the media and i understand the characters im hating on. i understand it all completely and i STILL hate them! purely because i can!!

i fucking cant stand when people try to make CRITICAL ANALYSIS OF FICTION into some moral debate. “if you hate on characters you’re a bad person or you’re less understanding of the source material than people who don’t hate”. what an idiotic thing to say about media, which is created FOR the audience to critique and analyze. get off that damn high horse if you’re on it and let people hate what they wanna hate!

#thé omori fandom won’t be happy with this take #why do y’all think that everything has to be morally gray and complex and shit #just let us be haters for no reason #it’s not that deep #lowkey an indirect post #but i don’t have beef with the person who inspired it #i promise #fandom #fandom crit #fandom critical #omori #omori game #omori fandom #prodigal omori

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Forget and Forgive

for @wincestwednesdays week four prompts Choices, Make ups & Breakups (it kinda fits both)

A short little Wincest fic that sprang up out of nowhere and demanded to be written down. Little bit of pining and confessions and memory loss, told from Sam's POV. Nothing explicit, just lots of half said things and bad coping skills.

words: 1711

read it on AO3 here

_______________________________

Twisted and tangled up in each other, that’s what people had said about them as long as they could remember, that they were very close, said in a way that heavily implied they were too close. They were codependent and emotionally enmeshed. What they had was something special. They’d been assumed to be a gay couple more times than they could count. Told they bickered and argued like an old married couple numerous times. 

Folks didn’t even know the half of it.

When Sam was 17 he did something completely unforgivable, something he has never spoken out loud, let alone even considered telling anyone about, not even Dean. Especially not Dean. Never, ever, ever, Dean. In a way, he supposed, Dean already knew about it, or he used to, before Sam… 

Well, seriously, what else could he have done? He’d made one last, desperate attempt to hold onto Dean, and it had failed so utterly and completely, because what he’d hoped to hold turned out to have never actually been his in the first place. So what else was he supposed to do? 

Sure he was leaving. Sure Dad had told him to never come back. Sure… but that didn’t mean he could live with Dean hating him, or hating himself, or worse. I mean, you didn’t see him, how bad it was, how badly he took it, when Sam told him… H–He’d freaked out. Actually, “freaked” was an understatement… He’d started going into thermonuclear meltdown, just imploding in a way that Sam could see imminently blasting everything in their life to smithereens. 

And the worst part was that Dean blamed himself, because of course he blamed himself, Dean always thought that he was to blame, that he was solely responsible for anything and everything that happened to Sam, or that Sam did, or thought, or felt. Which was completely unfair and insulting, by the way. Like Dean didn’t think that Sam was capable of doing, or thinking, or feeling, anything on his own. No, his brother’s ridiculously overinflated sense of guilt meant that he must have been the one who had done something wrong, said something wrong to have led Sam to… 

And he’d had the spell, so… If he hadn’t then there’s no telling what Dean might’ve done. He’d found the spell while researching something for his dad about a year or so before, and he held onto it, memorized it, because it seemed like the kind of thing that might come in handy someday. When you did what they did, it seemed like it might be useful. And he couldn’t leave Dean like that, he couldn’t, not when he looked like he might... 

So he made Dean forget it and then locked it all down inside himself and ran the fuck away from his life and started over out in sunny California, a real American dream kind of story, if, you know, those dreams involved making a pass at your very, very straight (like mucho macho) brother only to wipe his memory of the whole thing… 

The guilt and shame was still shockingly painful, even after all these years. But repression is like the Winchester family’s game of choice, all three of them were better at it than they were at cards or pool or darts or shooting, so that’s what he did, he repressed it and distracted himself 24/7 until it got easier to ignore. Until he met Jessica. 

Falling for her had been so easy and natural, like standing in the sunshine at noon on the beach and just letting it blind you. She was radiant and warm and she loved him. She actually really loved him. And things were hard, but they were good, promising, you know? And he could see it, see a path forward that wasn’t lonely or terrible.

And then Dean broke into his apartment, like a complete psychopath, because of course he did. And while Sam tried to say no, he knew it was a sham, because Dean didn’t ever ask him for his help, never. Dean was the strong one, capable of anything and everything the world might throw at him (except for what Sam threw at him… no, not getting into that). Dean who took care of everything, took care of him, his whole life. Dean who hadn’t understood but who’d let Sam go. He stopped even calling two years ago, after yet another fight when Sam had angrily shouted for him to just leave him alone. He wasn’t coming back and that was that. 

What he had only shouted in his own head was that he couldn’t come back because it still hurt too much, the shame and guilt and raw wound of rejection that Dean didn’t know anything about. But since he couldn’t, wouldn’t say any of that, he instead deflected to Dad and his ultimatum. 

And that had been that. Nothing for two years. Just California, and Stanford, and Jess, and his new normal life. 

But then suddenly, Dean needed him, needed his help, and actually came all the way out to Palo Alto to ask for it, in person, in the middle of the night, in his dark living room. And though Sam tried to say no, he just… couldn’t. Because for the first time in a really long time, right there under the thin veneer of cool confidence (and that’s all it was, a paper thin layer and nothing more, he could see that clearly suddenly) his big brother was actually scared and needed him. 

So he went and he told Jess, promised her that it would just be for the weekend, he’d be back before Monday and he slid right into the front passenger seat of the Impala, right next to Dean and even though they didn’t find Dad, he helped dispatch an angry spirit so that it wouldn’t kill anyone else. He did. Sam. 

And it felt… good. It felt really, really good. And Dean was looking at him like he was worth looking at, worth smiling at, like he was happy he was there. 

And then… shit. Then Jess… Hmm. Yeah, um, Jessica had silently pleaded with him for that terrible, horrible second that seemed to last too long but was gone before he could even breathe in to shout. And then, yeah, she was gone and so much for anything good or normal. So much for all that beautiful California sunshine and a higher education that wasn’t all arcane and dusty lore, and a future that wasn’t an endless hunt down the dark highways and small towns full of secrets and shadows. 

And it hurt. God, it hurt so much. 

But everytime he felt it dragging him down, Dean was right there, pulling him up, smiling at him, staring at him like he was something worth staring at, doing everything he could for Sam, just like always. 

Sam thought he was doing okay, you know, managing things (the anger helped keep the other stuff down pretty well) until Dean got himself electrocuted and was dying, and still not a word from their fucking dad, and Sam felt it all swelling up again, and he couldn’t lose Dean, not when he’d somehow managed to get him back and Dean was looking at him like… 

And then it was one thing after another, after another, until one night after Dad had died, after Sam had died and Dean had, fuck, he’d sold his soul to bring him back and now there was a clock ticking down to when Sam was going to be left all alone. And they were in some long forgotten graveyard in the middle of Nowhereville. And there were flames in an open grave lighting up Dean’s face almost like sunshine, and he was looking at Sam again, like he was worth looking at and he said, “I remember, you know.” 

Sam blinked at him, “What?” 

“That spell you cast, to make me forget. It was a spell, right?” But he didn’t even wait for Sam to answer, which is good because Sam’s mind had ground to halt, Dean just continued, calm and serene as anything, “It had to be. Doesn’t matter.” he shrugged a little and looked down, stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets. “I got hit by a hex a couple of years ago. A real nasty piece of work. Had to find someone to get it off me, and, well, they didn’t just take the hex off. Suddenly I remembered it all, that whole night.” 

Sam couldn’t recall if Dean’s cheeks had been flushed before, from the digging or the cold air or the fire, 

“Remembered it like I’d never forgotten.” He cast a reproving look up at Sam, who swallowed hard. 

“Dean, I…” 

But Dean just kept talking right over him, “and it freaked me out for a while. There was drinking, a lot of drinking, involved in that process. But, then, I guess the more I actually… when I stopped being a drunk dumbass about it… Is,” He took a deep breath before continuing, “Is that why you left? Because I freaked?” 

Sam was blinking too much. “No. No, I had already gotten accepted to Stanford and was going to go, that was already… that wasn’t. Dean, I’d wanted you to come with me.” He said it so quietly, barely breathing it out. If they hadn’t been standing so close Dean might not have been able to hear him over the crackling embers below. 

But Dean heard him. He’d heard him and he just looked down at his feet and nodded, his mouth set all serious and thoughtful, and he toed some loose dirt over the edge so it fell into the grave. 

“You, uh, you should have given me more time.” 

Sam couldn’t swallow suddenly, his throat had seized up and his eyes stung with tears but he just looked at his brother and waited. 

After several long minutes, with the flames dying back and the remains burnt down enough, Dean gave another nod, like that was that, and grabbed the shovels from where they’d been leaning against the headstone. He handed one to Sam. 

“Come on, let’s get this filled back in and go grab some breakfast, I’m starving.”

#wincest #wincest fanfic #I wrote a thing #not the wip I was supposed to be working on but who cares! #sam winchester #dean winchester #wincest wednesday