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#it is not my time management skills of which I have approximately zero
tea-with-eleni · 8 days
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What went wrong?
So... the whole education department is leaving my museum. Well, okay, not the whole education department. The manager and the two part time workers are staying. But the three of us who were the actual museum educators, who did most of the legwork and actual educating? we're out after the eclipse.
I consider the other two educators my friends. We have quite a bit in common. We're all the same awkward not-quite-millennial, not-quite-gen-Z age. We went through college at about the same time. We're all the kind of people who will teach somebody something if you leave us along in a room with them long enough, but have no desire to be classroom teachers. Our skills aren't quite identical, but we can all cover for each other in a pinch. We're all single and likely to stay that way for the immediate future, have religions but don't really publicize it, don't drink (two of us never bothered, one of us can't), are adhd, and share similar tastes in literature. They couldn't have found a more evenly matched team if they tried. Which is, it turns out, to their detriment.
see... it means that we all generally agree with and empathize with each other. If they wrong one of us, they wrong all of us.
So... a rough list of grievances, in approximately chronological order.
They threw one of the educators out of the loop and effectively banned her from working in the planetarium. The planetarium she built up from ground zero. That one.
They told the other two of us to make a push-button show in two months. It takes experienced teams with no other responsibilities six months. Then, they yelled at us about how much time we were spending working on the show in the planetarium, even though we were going a bit mad, even though we were effectively casting from hit points to keep going, even though we were making incredible progress and could tell EXACTLY where the time had gone; we were hardly goofing off. Even though it was not, in fact, detracting from our other responsibilities. All three of us ended up breaking down inside the planetarium.
They drove us to varying degrees of anxiety/meltdown at their holiday event and didn't need to. Nor did they apologize or even acknowledge what happened. I'm sorry, I don't forget when multiple coworkers have to talk me through an autistic meltdown while they themselves are coping with their own sensory hellscapes.
No educators qualified for a raise this year, ostensibly for assorted minor reasons but probably because they were trying to gaslight us into blaming ourselves rather than fessing up that they couldn't afford it. Had they been honest, I think we would have been understanding. But. Yeah. They lied. Not cool.
I was written up for showing too much emotion at my manager when something went wrong that wasn't my fault, on my recently deceased grandfather's birthday. And told I would be fired if it happened again.
They assigned a stupid and pointless recurring task to the worst possible team member they could have assigned it to. I offered to take it over, since I didn't mind it and (as previously stated) all of our skills overlap to the point where it didn't make a difference. Then they refused to listen, for months, when we pointed out that giving them what they wanted was actually impossible with our current staff -- we can't teleport.
They totally ignored almost all of our suggestions to improve the planetarium and, in fact, told the other two of us to not work on it so much too. Some of the suggestions they used to deliberately insult us and the hard work we'd put in about something we were truly passionate about.
Policy decisions are routinely made by our manager without consulting us concerning things like the planetarium, which she never enters and cannot even turn on. Let alone make it work.
They care more about how effectively we've swept and vacuumed and put away gross toddler-spit-covered blocks that aren't even our department's property than how well we do things that are much more obviously in our job description. The blocks have been disappeared by one aggrieved part time worker. We will never tell. When we leave, they can pin the blame on us. It's fine.
They seem to have it in for the one male coworker. Not sure why. Could be misandry, antisemitism, or maybe they just don't like that he's speaking his mind. Or maybe they don't like that he's a northerner. Impossible to say.
They sent the most personable manager, who isn't even our manager, to try to boost our morale.... her tips were received as "don't think about it too hard", "accept you'll be written up, a lot", and "your anger at your current treatment is overrated".
They fired the education coordinator two months after she started. Was she good at her job? Not really. Did I like her as a person? Not especially. Was she properly trained in her job? NO. Should she have been fired? Probably not.
I genuinely don't think they realize how much we do empathize with each other. I genuinely don't think they realize that we relate much more to each other than we do to management; the differences in stage of life or maybe generation (managers are much more firmly millennials, we relate more to the Gen Z part time employees) is quite sharp.
And clearly, they don't value that they have three employees who all possess fairly rare and valuable skillsets. We can wrangle our planetarium. We can plan low budget educational activities that capture public interest on a dime. We can run summer camps for kids ages 7-13 with very little prep work. We can lecture on things we barely understand and convince people we're experts because we all have that broad kind of knowledge acquired by ADHD people with internet connections. And we're all very comfortable public speakers. We can analyze a situation and come up with ways to creatively improve it.
Other museums -- other institutions, we're not all going to museums next -- can see what we are. They're bending over backwards to get us to join them.
So. We're out. And we're looking forward to some very.... interesting.... exit interviews.
Assuming they get around to doing those, since our last day is April 8 and a little bird told me there's going to be some kind of major celestial event that day that the museum might be a little bit busy wrangling. IDK.
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whumpster-fire · 2 years
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That post about animal sports I reblogged yesterday got me thinking about something that I’m not putting in the original thread so I don’t spam OP with silly facts about my OCs: Tansy’s relationship with sports.
Tansy doesn’t have other members of her species to compete against, but Jonathan has tried teaching her to run dog agility courses to try to burn off some of her excess energy. She actually enjoys it and became pretty good at it, although it took her a while to get that doing the obstacles in a specific order and direction was important, and she gets really frustrated with doing something “right” and not being rewarded. Her form of intelligence is also not really suited to rapidly responding to human body language and commands the way a herding dog’s is.
But she still got pretty good, and while Tansy can’t outrun an athletic dog in a straight-up race, she can accelerate and turn corners insanely fast. Jonathan reckons that if she ran on an actual course she probably wouldn’t be the fastest ever but she might win against the highest jump-height class despite being smaller than the dogs in the smallest class. The problem is there is a zero percent chance of her doing that at an actual dog show because she would completely shut down due to there being dogs present.
On the other hand, if he were to build a course to challenge Tansy at her strengths there would be approximately zero dogs that could even complete it, because Tansy’s M.O. for avoiding dogs for the last 300 years is:
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For a long time, Jonathan used to hunt with Tansy - as a legitimate food source - back in mostly the 19th Century. “With” being somewhat generous. Tansy can technically sort of do the job of a ferret or terrier, and could sort of flush game out of a bush, but but she just doesn’t have the inclination to scare prey but then stop and let her human finish the job, and when Jonathan tried to train her to flush birds he found what it actually meant was she’d attack one and scare the others, which could have worked if she caught it immediately in the bush but there was too much of a risk of her trying to chase it. Joseph Carter, the guy who trains mink for hunting IRL, has compared hunting with mink to falconry in terms of the animal catching the prey itself and bringing it back (CW: video has discussion of hunting animals although it isn’t graphic), and what Jonathan found worked with Tansy was very similar: instead of trying to make her act like a dog, just let her do what she already had a couple dozen dog-lifespans of practice at: ambushing and killing small mammals, and work with her catlike tendency to bring her kills back as gifts.
Basically this ranged from finding game together and getting Tansy to go after them on command to sitting around for an hour or so while she fucked off by herself and hopefully came back with a rabbit or squirrel or something, or lead him to a kill that was too big to drag long distances. He did also manage to train her to act as a sort of scout i.e. if she found something too big for her to handle to come back and lead him to it, but this wasn’t successful that often, and a couple times he ended up in a dangerous situation when she tracked down something like a bear, or on one occasion another armed human being with a dog. To this day John is not sure what she was doing, and didn’t stick around to talk to the man, but he has a suspicion the other hunter took a potshot at Tansy or his dog attacked her and she tried to get her human to eliminate the threat.
Before she was found by Jonathan, Tansy’s role in animal-based sports was very different and much crueler. Tansy’s first interaction with people in a long time was being accidentally targeted by a pack of foxhounds, and later the people of Willowfen, finding that the creature they had captured could regenerate from seemingly-fatal injury, decided to use her as a consistent, repeatable target to judge the skill and ferocity of their dogs by timing how long it took one to “kill” her and letting another dog take its shot the next day, and so on.
This is why, no matter how long it’s been since then, every time Jonathan tried to take her to a dog agility gym she refused to leave his side or his shoulder.
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So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".
Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.
But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).
AFTERSHOCKS
Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.
IF I FALL
Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?
But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.
You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.
Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.
Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.
Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.
Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).
A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.
I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.
PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.
JAVIER PEÑA
My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.
OCs
I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.
And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.
HANNAH AARONS
Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.
Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔
PARTING THOUGHTS
Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.
You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪
~
My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again. 
That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.
Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise! 
I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.
I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory. 
On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.
Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)
Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.
Mad love and soft hugs, 
~ Jay
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kyberphilosopher · 4 years
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Eᴘɪᴄᴀʀɪᴄᴀᴄʏ
”Whatever is done for the sake of love is past the bounds of good or evil.“
Word Count: 5297
Requested: nope. there’s some allusions to sex though. written slightly different to fit the mood. 
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Noun. epicaricacy (uncountable) (rare) Rejoicing at or deriving pleasure from the misfortunes of others.
 .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You reminded Maul, very much of a... oh, how would he describe it? A fly. An annoying, buzzy little fly that was also hellbent on ruining his day, everyday. You were no common fly. You were an evil fly, capable of intelligent thinking and something along the lines of murder- which only added to the inconvenience. 
You had been Master Sidious’s apprentice before him. Maul never learned the whole story, but at some point Sidious decided that you were no longer of use. You, of course, were not too happy about this. But oh well. It sucks to suck. Maul was in power now- screw you. 
He could remember the way you had looked at him when you were sent out of the chambers. Your sleek and powerful appearance was initially a turn on for the young Zabrak, but the intense look of hatred made it even better. 
You had hated your replacement from the beginning. You truly hadn’t done anything wrong, and the only explanation you could think of for this, was the your Master had begun to see you as a rival. It made enough sense, you supposed, as you had started the process of thinking of overthrowing him. But that was how the rule of two worked! Did Sidious honestly believe that Maul wouldn’t start to think the same things? Only a fool would do that. 
You knew better than to make a fuss, however. This would only result in your immediate death. If you wanted to truly have revenge, it would have to wait. So, you took your punishment of being discarded like common space junk, and accepted the grace of leaving without a fight or a saber in your back. 
But you just couldn’t help the wave of absolute loathing that came over you upon seeing the Zabrak replacement. What was his stupid name going to be? Darth Maul? Whatever. You had been Darth Carisus. Now you were just Y/N. 
Maul, to put it poetically, seriously didn’t give a shit. As stated above- it sucks to suck. You weren’t his problem. You were just a girl now, and he was going to be a Sith lord. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Then, of course, the same thing happened to Maul, and his tone changed. 
What had once been ‘sucks to suck’, quickly became ‘oh shit’ as Maul spiraled down without any legs. Without said legs, he had a lot more free time to think, which caused him to suddenly feel much more sympathy for you. 
Even though he had only said a grand total of zero words to you in your single interaction, he thought finding you would probably be the best place to start. The only immediate problem was that he could practically feel your smirk of revenge trained on him from wherever you were in the galaxy. That was probably what he thought about the most. 
It became one of his two hobbies: hating Kenobi, and being embarrassed by you without your presence. 
When he had made it to exile on Lotho Minor, he lay back in exhaustion on some piece of uncomfortable junk. His head was killing, his back twisted into knots, and his chest was heaving. While he had a plan to piece himself back together, he also needed a plan for revenge. 
With his last bits of energy, he reached out to you. He had absolutely no idea where you were, or if you were truly even still alive. You were a few years younger than him... perhaps your cunning skills had not been enough for your survival. Still, he did not who else would help him. 
Although it was a long shot, he got it out to you. Then he took a much needed nap. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
When you arrived on the little junk planet, you weren’t actually expecting it to be a little junk planet. You had hoped, at least, that maybe it wasn’t as bad as it looked from a distance. Maybe the ball of dust had a nice cantina or something. It didn’t. It was literally all trash. 
“Hm,” you said to yourself as you glanced around. “Well this is a shit hole.” Still, you continued on, your dark boots digging into the dirt. The climate was hot in an uncomfortable way, and it felt like everything on the planet was constantly watching you. 
Finally, you came to a hut. It was made of metal and straw alike, barely holding together in the wind of the place. It would’ve been an awful place to live for anyone, but it was nice enough on this planet in particular. You recognized it clear as day from the vision that guided you here, and the voice that called out to you. The owner of the voice must’ve been inside, just past the makeshift curtain door. 
You pushed your way in. The floor felt solid under you for approximately three whole seconds. Then it opened up and swallowed you whole. 
You twisted down the tunnel for another few seconds. The dirt and sand was scuffing up your clothes and dinging your lightsabers. Some specs got in your eyes and burned, while others glued themselves to your hair. Once you were at the bottom, you just laid there for another second. How the fuck, had it come to this?
The answer was right in front of you. 
You pushed yourself to your feet, rolling your shoulders and getting a bearing of your surroundings. You were under the ground now, in some kind of cave of dirt. Very charming. 
“This better be worth it,” you grumbled to yourself. Then you set forward again, ignoring the dull pain in your left wrist and the scratch on your thigh. 
Was it worth it? Well, you didn’t think so in the moment. When you recognized him, you thought nothing could be worth this shit. That question you had asked yourself earlier? About how it could’ve come to this? Maul was literally the answer. 
He was turned away from you, but you could recognize the scarlet skin and black tattoos from a mile away. The horns on his head had grown slightly longer, but not incredibly so. He was hunched over at the end of the cave, with mechanical clicking noises echoing all around. 
“It’s you,” you drawled, your arms crossing. “Oh, goodie.”
Maul perked up at the sound of your voice. He had only heard it when it was muffled, and that only one been two words (‘yes, master’). He was sane enough to decide that he liked it. It was sultry and sarcastic and reminded him of the word ‘poison’. 
He turned around on his many legs, revealing them to you. Your eyes widened at the second half of a spider emerging from the darkness, sinking and wheezing mechanically. You could see wires and screws and pieces of junk all mixed together for him to carry himself on. “Woah,” you said. One hand raised near your mouth in a fist, for you were suddenly feeling a little ill. “What happened to you?” 
“Same thing... that happened... to you!” he said through insane gasps. “Kenobi...” he whispered lowly. 
You squinted your eyes, pursed your lips slightly. “Who the fuck is Kenobi?”
Maul’s eyes widened. Then his right hand raised and settled on his forehead as he blinked several times. His cloudy head was sometimes cloudier than other days, and today it had been very bad. “A... Jedi,” he managed to get out, though his voice sounded strained. 
“Oh,” you said simply. In truth, a faint image of a young Jedi came to mind, though you couldn’t place it that well. He was Qoo-Gongs Jedi. Quu-Gong? Wee-Gong? Something. 
“Well you look great.” Your eyes ran up and down Maul’s entire form, from his tattooed abs to his many metal legs. 
“Don’t patronize me,” he warned. “I called you for a purpose.”
“You’re the one who called me?” you challenged in mock disbelief. “Shit, what’s the galaxy coming to?”
Maul inhaled sharply. Your biting tongue was going to have to be a workaround. Maybe after he got his revenge, he would cut it off and make you eat it. 
“I have a task for you.”
Your hands shoot up defensively, like you were surrendering with a shrug. “Sorry,” you quipped. “You’re not really my type. No offense.”
Oh, Maul hated you. That was fine with you though. You hated him right back. 
“It’s nothing of the sort,” he gritted. You could’ve sworn he was offended to even be accused of wanting you. His loss. “How would you like a chance at revenge?”
Revenge? Oh, you liked that word. Spending time as a Sith made the word into a bit of a turn on in truth. Maul knows this, and watches one of your eyebrows twitch upwards in curiosity. “I’m listening.”
A tight, muted smirk creeps over Maul’s lips. He’s tantalized the fish. Now time to catch it, and finally bring it in. “What if we were to take on the Sith? We could rule together. Kill Kenobi... kill the Emperor.”
It was a rather interesting proposition. You had not grown fond of the Emperor since your time away, and you were often dreamed about impaling him with your own blade. 
“Why would I help you?” you ask instead, your arms returning to their guarded, crossed position. 
Maul scoffed. “Why wouldn’t you help me? W- I could offer you the galaxy! You can finally get your revenge on those who stole from you!”
“I could do that myself right now,” you countered. “You’re the one who replaced me. You’re the one who took my life from me. Isn’t that right, Darth Maul?”
Maul hadn’t been expecting this reaction. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
In short, you cut off one of Maul’s legs after an epic duel. (Well, it was epic on your end. He was a bit sloppy.)
“You’re a bitter little fuck, aren’t you?” you asked as you stood over him. The loss of his legs had destroyed the mans remaining pieces of balance, causing his legs to trip over each other unevenly. 
Maul growled at you like an animal. It almost turned you on. “I offer you power- and this is how you repay me?”
“Don’t pout,” you told him. “I promise, you’re still the most handsome man in the galaxy.”
“I... hate... you.”
“Hurtful,” you said with a fake frown. “Very, very hurtful.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
After that, you and Maul actually liked each other better. 
The hatred was still there. It probably always would be. But now you had a grasp of the others personality, and you knew what drove him. 
Clearly, the zabrak was on the verge of insanity from the loss of his bottom half. He was motivated by revenge and anger and passion, resulting in growls and erratic spasms. As annoying as it was that seeing him was a reminder of everything you had lost, you admired his... what’s the word? Spirit? Sure. You admired his spirit. You liked the anger, and you liked his little scoffs. 
On the opposite end, Maul now understood that you were both a powerful ally, and powerful enemy. You were skilled in dueling and a quick thinker. Your mouth was annoying, but he had already addressed that issue in his mind. You hadn’t killed him, so you didn’t really want him dead. This was a spark of hope. 
You had one or two quick conversations before you left the planet. You were sure to flip him off with a smirk before disappearing. Maul was too out of it to notice. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Eventually, you would help Maul get revenge on Kenobi. 
He and his brother ran into you while you were floating in space. Your ship had lost power a while ago, and you were quick to run out of stale food. You were exhausted. You were done. You slumped in the corner by the cockpit, waiting for death to take you. 
Ah, who cares? You had done your best. You had a good run. Dying was completely fine with you by now. What had you left to live for? You were no longer a Sith. You had no means of taking your revenge. You had no loved ones. There was truly no point in sticking around, so the only thing left to do was wait. 
But Savage insisted on searching your ship. The large, brooding man lumbered in, looking around several times before beginning to roughly grab at things. You saw yellow skin out of the corner of your eye, but you were too focused on dying to actually care. The flash of red skin, however, brought you great concern. 
Maul trailed behind his brother. Beside him, he looked so lanky and lithe. The new metal legs and talons made him clanking sounds against the floor. His horns were back to their original state now, as a symbol of his mental state. Still not good, but clear at least. 
The zabrak sensed you through the force, and then sniffed the air a few times. 
“What is it, Brother?” Savage asked. 
“I smell a disgusting presence. One that I’d almost forgotten about.” His yellow eyes dropped to where you were on the floor, and he smiled slyly. 
Savage drew his red saber. “Do you want me to kill her, Brother?” asked the giant. 
Maul raised a hand to stop his relative. “No,” he said, eyes still trained on you. “I have... much better plans for her.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
So, you aided Maul in confronting Kenobi. Savage had sustained an injury at the Jedi’s hand, and fallen unconscious. This forced you to do the work of two people, but it was no matter. You knew how to handle a double bladed saber, and you knew how to handle Assaj Ventress.
“Ah, Carisus,” the woman hissed with a smirk. “We were all beginning to think you had died.”
“Flattered you’d think I’d be so lucky,” you said back. Then the two of you fought, but it wasn’t to truly kill. You had more in common than you acknowledged, and there was no reason to kill each other. It was pretty fun, actually. 
Maul and Kenobi, however, were a different story. 
You understood, of course, why Maul had such a hatred. He felt that the Jedi had robbed him of his destiny and his future with one simple swipe, and it was both embarrassing and angering to think about. It filled him with an indescribable rage. You had felt the same towards Maul at some point. You were angry he had taken so many opportunities from you. You felt cheated on. You stopped feeling that way when you stopped caring about everything. 
So, Maul was doing his best to kill the man. In, conclusion, he did not succeed. 
“Well, that went well,” you said after. Maul snapped his eyes to you angrily, and thought about all the ways to get rid of you right then and there. He also did not succeed on that front. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You disappeared for a while after this meeting, showed up before Mandalore, and then disappeared again. 
Every time Maul and you fought, or teamed up to fight against something, his respect grew for you. You were talented. Powerful. Sometimes, your little sarcastic quips were pretty good, despite the annoyance. You weren’t so bad. 
You became willing to admit that Maul was somewhat bearable. He was awfully attractive, but that didn’t make up for his inconvenient personality. But sometimes, he would make a joke back that got you pretty good. He showed a real care for his brother, which struck you as odd. The Sith always turned on each other, and neither of them seemed to consider this. 
When you came back to Mandalore for the first time, Maul had told you he had big plans to take over. 
You did believe Maul could do it. He was intimidating enough to manipulate people into doing his will, and he was smart enough to know how to do it. Still, you very sarcastically told him, “Good luck with that”. Then you fucked off on the other side of the planet for a while. 
You returned out of hiding unwillingly, knowing you would need then yourself to confront a problem of yours. 
Recently, a few Jedi had been on your tail. They were asking about you, tracking you to Mandalore. It had been about five years since you were presumed dead, but whispers traveled fast. If Sidious learned of this, you were done for. You were not powerful enough to take him alone, but that’s for later. You were currently not powerful enough to fend off four Jedi on your own. They would’ve overwhelmed you with exhaustion after a while. 
But if you had a partner helping to fend them off... the chances of survival were much better. It probably would’ve helped if that partner was skilled, possibly trained in using a double bladed lightsaber. If they knew how to go up against a Jedi... it would all be rather peachy. 
So of course, you reluctantly approached Maul. 
“This gonna be your throne room?” you asked as you glanced around the hall. Maul looked over at you, and shooed the man he was talking to away. You found it a little funny, although most people would’ve described it as ‘rude’. 
“Ah,” Maul said, tutting his tongue. “I was expecting you.”
You narrowed your eyes from your lack of patience. “Remind me when I asked.”
Maul looked you up and down, orbs sticking to your chest a little too long. “Yes. This will be my throne room.”
“It’s nice,” you said honestly. You liked the big, tall windows and how the light looked when it shined through. You liked how the blockish throne looked at the end of it all. Funny, you thought, how the ruler can make the whole room feel different. It would’ve felt so bright and calm under Satine’s rule, but under Maul’s, it would be menacing. 
Maul’s eye twitched. “Is there something I can do for you?”
“Oh, my beloved,” you teased. “I can think of hundreds of things you could do for me.”
“Let’s keep it at about five.”
You smiled. Maul sort of wanted to smile too, in his own way. But then your lips snapped back to neutral and you rolled your eyes. “I need your help.”
To say the zabrak was filled with joy would be an understatement. He was overwhelmed with happiness. Filled to the absolute brim with euphoria and satisfaction alike. His stomach swelled with butterflies and he would’ve been blushing if he was able to. All this was out of gratefulness that you were suffering enough to come to him. 
“Say that again,” Maul demanded. 
“Over my dead body.”
Maul’s smirk grew and his eyes darkened. “That can certainly be arranged, my love.” 
Something pricked in your stomach- something you chose to ignore. “You always were the gentleman. Please don’t make me say it again.”
Maul really, really, really wanted to. The thought of the high and mighty, independent you needing help from someone you so obviously hated... it gave him a bitter semi hard on. It was splendid. 
But, he decided against it. He’d have plenty of more opportunities to ruin your life. “What troubles you?” he asked in a condescending tone. 
Your signature snark returns to you. “How do you feel about killing Jedi?”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Maul found it entertaining to kill Jedi with you. While it wasn’t Kenobi he was fighting, it still felt like a good blow against the Jedi and their precious, corrupted Republic. It felt like a sort of tamed revenge. 
You were proving yourself to be more and more desirable for him to have in his life. While you weren’t a constant by any means, and nothing would stop him from being aggravated at your rivalry, it was enjoyable to watch you get your vengeance. You were a good fighter, and you looked good doing it. 
You, as much as you hated to admit it, thought Maul looked good fighting too. He was not only impressive in combat, but satisfying to watch become acrobatic and sweaty. It aroused something inside of you, something the pesky Jedi would never understand. 
“My,” Maul tutted as the last Jedi crumpled in on himself. “Forgive me for saying so, but I believe we make quite the team.”
You looked over at him, observing the zabrak. Scarlet skin, onyx markings, horns that were practically begging to be held onto. Perhaps Maul wasn’t so bad. Of course, he had ruined your future as a Sith, but it was possible he hadn’t ruined every future. Maybe there was a future where the two of you got along. Maybe there was a future where his plan to take Mandalore worked out, and he would become King. Maybe there was a future where if he asked you to be his Queen, you would not decline...
Your red saber flickers to a close. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself, dearest.”
“Oh, but how could I not?”
You gave him a genuine crooked smile for a few seconds, before it evaporated into the air. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
After that, there was a string of assassination attempts on Maul’s life that he knew was you. It wasn’t serious, though. Again, if you had truly wanted him dead, he probably would’ve been. Instead, he saw it as a twisted little game of cat and mouse- though neither of you could say who was playing the role of the cat and who was playing the role of the mouse. Maul knew you saw it as a game too. 
That was what your relationship was like. You were never a constant in Maul’s life, but he could guarantee you were to show up at some point. And while you aggravated each other to no end, there was a thin, but noticeable layer of respect and admiration. If you squinted, you could even see a coat of- dare you say it?- attraction. 
Like poetry, it was. 
Because through all the enjoyment you received from watching each other struggle and stumble, there was also enjoyment in being together. Working together, fighting together, just maybe ruling together. It was your own way of showing affection, as poisonous and evil as it was. 
This was shown before the siege, after Maul got his much beloved revenge. By now, he was thriving as King, and you had heard stories of how things happened in that throne room. You had only heard about how the man would relax on his throne has he dealt out death and judgement. He always had been a romantic man. 
Maul didn’t actually know where you were, these days. He knew you had resided on the other end of Mandalore for a while, but there had been rumors of a shadow woman leaving the realm. Wherever you were, your attempts on his life had slowed, and you were not so much of a pestering fly. He had been too busy and full of pride to entirely miss you, but he had wondered. Maul knew, at least, that you were alive. 
That’s why you were here now, giving him one of those famous erections. 
In turn, you were gifted with an annoying amount of slick at your core that you would not be addressing. 
“Well, well,” he purred from his throne. Maul sat all too comfortably upon it, irking something within you. It seemed that his plan to take the planet had worked out afterall, though his brother was nowhere to be seen. “What do we have here?”
You stopped a few feet from the kings spot, taking the sight of him in. It made you proud, in a way, to see Maul in a position of power. It turned you on to think about all the vile ways he could have earned it. “I come in peace.”
One of his eyebrows perked upwards in interest. “Ah, yes. I was beginning to wonder why you had stopped attempting to poison my drink.”
“Me?” you retorted, feigning innocence. “I would never. Especially not to a wasted Sith such as yourself.”
The twitch of his eye said it all. A satisfying snap ran through you. The slick between your legs increased. “Do not forget that this Sith was the one that took your place.”
Maul paused, squinting his eyes as he relaxed back in his seat. “Still something tells me you did not come here to speak in casualties.”
You inhaled, readying yourself. This was going to hurt. 
“I need your help.”
The erection increased. 
Maul scoffed. “I’m sorry, I think I must’ve misheard you. What did you just say?”
“I’m not saying it again,” you snapped. Then your voice softened and your shoulders tensed further. “I’ve been having... visions. Something is going to happen, Maul. We’re all in danger.”
Maul knew of what you spoke of. He had seen it himself. “And how would I help you with that?”
“I fear my life is in more danger than most. I’ve grown ill.”
Maul examined you up and down, though this time not out of appreciation. His orbs were searching for any signs of an ailment, instead of any signs of torture. 
It would not have been noticeable to anyone else, but Maul could see the yellow tinge to your skin, the heavy bags under your eyes, the a hint of the weight you had lost. Yes, something was wrong with you.
His eyes widened slightly, then returned to normal. “How did this happen?” he questioned.         
You shrugged slightly, as if this was a normal part of life. “I don’t know,” you admitted. “But I don’t think I’m going to last very long. I just don’t want to go out like... this.” 
Maul watched you gesture up and down to your weak form. His first thought was that Sidious had somehow gotten to you, but that didn’t make any sense. You would’ve been dead and steaming from a lightsaber wound if that were the case. It occurred to him that it was not impossible for your mind to have been so heavy from the vision of the future that your body had begun to fail you, but he couldn’t think of a way to currently confirm it. 
“I will have to think about the offer,” he instead said stiffly. As attractive as you were, he would still relish in teasing you. 
“Ah, anything for your Queen,” you retorted.
That was essentially the last thing you had said to him before the purge. However, underneath it all, Maul knew that you really were his Queen. He would never tell you that, however, nor would he grant you the title. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Maul saw that you were captured, too. 
It was in the distance, on the battlefield. Those Clones had surrounded you, gotten a lucky shot in your leg. Then they bound you in ropes and tossed you into a ship just as they did to him. 
The fallen ruler found it difficult not to concern himself with your well being after that. He knew you would be fine, of course, you could handle yourself. But he didn’t know what was going to happen to him now, and if the worst happened to him, then the worst for you was likely to follow. 
Whether the Republic was going to deliver the worst to either of you would forever be a mystery. 
Your eyes opened with a jolt. Voices swam around your head painfully, ricocheting off the walls of your skull. It was all just how it happened in your visions- down to the word. 
At first, you didn’t mind that much. The force shifting in favor of the Dark side? Fine with you. But then the millions of voices cried out in terror and were silenced, and two soldiers walked into your cell. You knew that you were about to become one of those voices, and your eyes widened in realization. 
Maul did not care about the life of the Clones like that Togruta did. Anyone in his way would be cut down. He practically sauntered through the ship without a care in the galaxy, feeling relaxed as soldier after soldier fell to him. He did not know if Ahsoka had freed you as well, or even if you were still alive, until the side of a wall caved in on itself. 
Two men in stark white armor tumbled to the ground, dead. On the floor, covered in dust and rubble, you coughed weakly. At least you knew you were still powerful in the ways of the force- right? Wrong. You were weak physically, and every jolt of the ship and blare of the red lights was agony. You were not going to survive this, and Maul knew it. 
Without thinking, Maul bolted towards you. Down the wall, Clones had spotted you and raised their weapons. With a swipe of his hand, a metal shard cut off three helmeted heads. 
“What are you doing?” you asked through coughs. The explosion you had caused had caused several bouts of dust to enter your lungs and cloud your vision, making you feel somewhat deformed. 
Maul didn’t know how to say what he was doing. He flicked his wrist again, and a bigger metal shard zoomed in front of the both of you just in time to block oncoming blaster shots. 
“Maul!” you roared, angry. “Get out of here!”
Instead, the zabrak put a hand on your back, then lifted an arm of yours around his neck. He pulled the both of you off the ground slowly, wincing from a stray bullet knocking into a panel beside you. 
“Not without my Queen,” he growled back, warning you to shut up.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
It took a lot of work and many more scars to escape that place. You knew that you had slowed Maul down with your injuries and your illness, but he had kept you with him anyway. Would you have done the same for him? What had washed over him?
As you sat next to him on the ship, watching his golden eyes stay glued to the stars in front of you, you leaned forward with pursed lips. The wetness of the kiss against his jaw caught him off guard at first, but the zabrak did not stop it. 
The story didn’t end here, but it instead faded out with the two Dark Jedi running away together. Running to find a future together. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
taglist: @omg-we-really-doo​ @chokemeanakin​ @anakinswhore​ why do I feel like I’m missing someone?
This is another thing I wrote on my phone at like 4am. Sorry for the spelling errors and dirty language. 
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makeste · 4 years
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top 20 favorite quirks
okay, but listen, though! it’s exactly what it says in the title. not best quirks, or most useful quirks, or most creative quirks. not even coolest quirks! I did try to take all of these things into consideration when choosing, but honestly? by far the most important factor was, “I JUST THINK THEY’RE NEAT.”
anyway but let me backtrack and post the actual ask.
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you’ll note that at no point was I asked to pick twenty of them. I did that all on my own. so here is my list!
20. Solid Air (Tsuburaba)
Tsubaraba Kousei. all-time undefeated grand champion of The Floor Is Lava. or at least he was until Ochako came along. anyway, so this is an extremely nifty quirk with all sorts of utility ranging from defense to helping him get around. it’s super useful for catching bad guys, and apparently the only real limit is his lung capacity. this quirk has so much potential and I love it.
19. Copy (Monoma)
the fact that he can copy his opponents’ powers and use them against them is badass enough, but add in the fact that he can hold up to 3 (or 4??) of them at once -- for as long as ten minutes -- and this quirk starts getting seriously powerful. anyway so one thing you might note as you read on is that although Copy is on my favorite quirks list, AFO is not! and that’s because Monoma’s limits actually make the quirk much more interesting to me, because they force him (and Horikoshi) to get creative. this is a really fun quirk and I would love to see more of Monoma in action. about time we saw him fight some actual villains and not just class 1-A, honestly.
18. Brainwashing (Shinsou)
as with Monoma’s quirk, what really sets this apart from other mind-control superpowers (to me, anyway) is the fact that it has limitations. he can’t just control anyone at random; in order to take them over he has to get them to respond to him somehow. which leads to innovations like the voice-changer, and which as a result has made his battles so genuinely interesting and fun to watch. anyway so I really want Shinsou to hurry up and join 2-A, and for them to just give him his provisional license all “here you go, son” with no testing whatsoever, because we’re past the point of pretending the HPSC is actually responsible these days, and because I really want to see if he can help turn the tides the next time the heroes battle the League.
17. Zero Gravity (Ochako)
I feel like it’s worth noting that I don’t really have any kind of fear of heights or falling or anything like that. and so I can’t really explain why Toga using this quirk on Ms. Curious and her lackeys was hands down one of the most singularly disturbing scenes in the entire manga for me! but it was!! even now I’m wincing just thinking about it. she just lifted them all up and DROPPED THEM and they just FELL and DIED. just like that. holy fucking shit. anyway, so we should all be very grateful that Ochako is super kind and sweet and more inclined towards helping people rather than murdering them. because holy shit. anyways though this quirk is dope.
16. Erasure (Aizawa)
I once said that this quirk was “not very cinematic”, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so wrong about anything in my life. oh, past me. you truly underestimated the dramatic impact of someone with a terrifyingly powerful quirk going in for the kill, only to be all “NANI?!” as they suddenly realize that their powers are no longer working, and the camera pans over to a man with gorgeous floating hair and intense red anime eyes. I owe you an apology, Erasure. you are cinematic AF.
15. Black Hole (Thirteen)
I really wish we got to see Thirteen fight more often. they suffer from the same “too powerful” curse as so many of the other characters and it’s a shame. anyway so Black Hole is cool af and gives me a ton of Miroku/kazaana vibes, which I freaking love. this quirk is lowkey on a Tomura-level of destructive potential, honestly, and yet no one ever talks about it?? Thirteen could literally destroy anything they touched if they wanted to?? imagine if they ever Awakened, you guys. holy shit.
14. Tape (Sero)
this power is so fucking stupid and ridiculous and completely absurd and I LOVE IT. Horikoshi really drew a skinny guy with tape elbows and was all, “so this kid is basically Spider-Man but with tape. I have not put the least bit of logical thought or creative effort into this power beyond that, and I’m not going to, either.” and somehow we all just accepted it. anyway, dubious origins aside, it’s such a versatile ability and Sero has such amazing control over it. it’s offense; it’s defense; he can use it to set traps; he can use it for maneuverability. TAPE ELBOWS CAN DO IT ALL.
13. Outburst (Ms. Joke)
when will it finally be her time. Outburst is one of those powers that sounds super dumb at first, until you really stop and think what the ability to make someone laugh at will could actually DO to people. true uncontrollable belly laughter is a totally incapacitating thing. she’d have people collapsing to the ground and practically seizing up. and good luck using your own quirk to fight back when you’re doubled over struggling to breathe and can’t even see straight because of the tears in your eyes. that’s assuming any of her opponents are even capable of thinking straight long enough to try it. like, this is such a straight up brutal ability and the fact that we have still NEVER SEEN IT is honestly infuriating.
12. Glamour (Camie)
it’s an illusion quirk. of course I have to put it on my list. illusion powers make every battle approximately 100x more entertaining. and what makes this particular power even better is that in any other series, this quirk would have been given to some Tokoyami-esque super serious emo kid. but BnHA went and gave it to Karen from Mean Girls instead. what a fucking power move. goddamn.
11. Black (Kuroiro)
according to BnHA Ultra Analysis, Kuroiro’s Appearing Out of Nowhere skills are rated a 4 out of 6. I still haven’t figured out if this is meant to be a burn on him or not. this kid can ninja in and out of literally any dark object in existence. if it’s nighttime, that means he can basically move wherever he wants to at will. of course he’s skilled at Appearing Out of Nowhere. so tell me then, why is it ONLY a four out of six?? how could he possibly fuck this up?? who was grading him?? DOES HE JUST SUCK. I don’t know, but anyway it’s really funny to me and also I really love this quirk.
10. Transform (Toga)
Toga went and Awakened herself right into the top ten with the reveal that not only can she mimic other people’s appearances, but that while she is transformed, she can actually use their quirks. like excuse me, what?? holy shit??? it is honestly driving me crazy that we’ve only seen this in action once. Transform is basically Plot Twist: The Quirk. I really want to see Toga use it to its full potential and infiltrate U.A. and/or spy on the HPSC and/or murder someone with their loved one’s own quirk. I WANT HER TO GIVE SOMEONE THE MAES HUGHES TREATMENT. I want her to do something so shocking that people ragequit the fucking manga lol. I know I’m always saying the manga isn’t that dark, but this is honestly the one exception where I would freaking love for it to get dark as shit. anyway so yeah. if you want to fuck with people you really couldn’t ask for a better quirk.
9. Creation (Momo)
MACGUYVER: THE QUIRK. an unlimited inventory in the hands of someone brilliant enough to actually utilize it to its full extent. what’s not to love? honestly if it were me with this quirk it would be completely useless. not only would I get hopelessly bored two seconds into trying to memorize an object’s molecular structure or whatever, but even if I DID manage to figure out how to make stuff, I would never know what to do with the stuff, or when to use it. every time a new situation cropped up I would just create a bunch of random objects in a panic. but Momo is so elegant in her problem-solving that she often needs to create only one or two things to come up with the perfect solution for something. basically this is a good quirk that becomes a truly great quirk when placed in the hands of the best possible person in the world to wield it. the quirk is awesome because Momo is awesome, and I fucking adore quirks like that (see: next entry).
8. Permeation (Mirio)
ah, Mirio. the original victim of the “too powerful to be allowed” curse. remember that time he BEAT HALF OF CLASS 1-A IN UNDER SIX SECONDS, you guys.  small wonder Horikoshi couldn’t even make it through one complete villain fight with him before he had to de-quirk the poor kid. anyway, so Mirio makes this quirk look so mind-blowingly awesome that it’s easy to forget what a terrifying and fucked-up power it is in reality. “yeah it makes me blind and deaf and if I’m not careful I’ll fall into the center of the earth or splice myself in two or some shit.” what the actual fuck Mirio. but because he’s worked so hard and because Nighteye trained him so well, he’s mastered the timing to such an insane degree that he could kick Overhaul in the face without harming a single hair on Eri’s body. and honestly, there’s no way I could not love a quirk that gave us a moment like that.
7. Warp Gate (Kurogiri)
unlike SOME OTHER PEOPLE whose names start with Kuro, I would bet you that Kurogiri’s Appearing Out of Nowhere skills are a full six out of six! alas, the top ten of this list is chock full of people whose quirks are so badass that they had to be written out of the story one way or another. with Kuro at large there was technically nothing stopping the villains from just dropping in on U.A. one night to kill All Might, or rekidnap Bakugou, or whatever else they might want to do. and that’s actually a really scary thought though lol so it’s no wonder that Horikoshi was all, “yeah I’ll just have them capture him now.” anyways do you guys remember that one time in chapter 18 when Kuro used Warp Gate to create an endless loop of All Might suplexing Noumu suplexing All Might?? fucking quirks, though. wild.
6. Fiber Master (Best Jeanist)
another badass quirk, another badass quirk-user incapacitated and taken out of the story before their time. Best Jeanist is honestly terrifying. if he wanted to he could immobilize and even strangle and kill pretty much anyone in the world, whenever he fucking felt like it. that alone would be crazy enough, but then add to that that this quirk for all intents and purposes is basically telekinesis. as long as someone is wearing clothing he can move them around however he wants, as we saw in Kamino. basically, everything Hawks can do with Fierce Wings, Jeanist can probably do with his own quirk. AND THAT INCLUDES FLYING, YOU GUYS. the more I think about it the more I think we truly were robbed. I need Jeanist to come back already and fly everyone at Jakku to safety and tie Tomura to a chair with his own cape before proceeding to style his hair.
5. Rewind (Eri)
IT’S MY LIST!! I CAN PUT WHATEVER I WANT, AND IF YOU SAY I CAN’T, I’M TELLING MOM. okay but listen. everyone always rags on this quirk and how stupidly powerful it is, and look, I get it. but isn’t it kind of interesting that everyone is also always speculating over who Eri is eventually going to heal with her quirk? like, fandom is always complaining about how broken it is but at the same time they’re out here hatching all of these wild theories that center around it. and to me that indicates that in truth, this is actually an awesome quirk -- just so long as it’s used right. obviously there have to be some major limitations or else this is just “Fix Everything: The Quirk.” thankfully, Horikoshi did limit it! it’s super dangerous, she has trouble controlling it, and most importantly, it’s ridiculously slow to recharge and so she can only use it once every few months. it’s basically Recovery Girl’s quirk with a bonus slow-replenishing stamina bar that, once charged, allows her to release one ultra-powerful SUPER HEAL special move. and that’s pretty awesome. basically I think this quirk gets too much hate and not enough credit for the additional menu options it adds to the story. it’s interesting and compelling and I can’t wait to see what Horikoshi does with it.
4. Dark Shadow (Tokoyami)
TOKOYAMI WHY IS YOUR QUIRK SENTIENT. Existential Crisis: The Quirk. do quirks have souls?? if you shot Tokoyami with a quirk-be-gone bullet would Dark Shadow fucking die??? if Tomura absorbed Tokoyami’s quirk would Dark Shadow grow out of his back and be all “hey um, who the fuck are you”?? and would Toko’s head turn back into a normal human boy head?? would Dark Shadow look like Tomura instead of a bird shadow?? what even IS Dark Shadow, actually?? obviously it is not just a shadow because shadows can’t punch people or shield people from attacks or pick people up and fly them around. but yet he’s afraid of fire and grows weaker in daylight?? is Tokoyami secretly the strongest character in the entire series?? is there any way I can possibly justify putting this quirk all the way down at #4 instead of #1 where it clearly belongs?? let me answer that question by not answering it and moving on.
3. Explosion (Bakugou)
is the fix in?? is “exploding hands” really a better quirk than a fucking sentient monster man who lives in your belly button and reads your mind and is made of ~darkness energy~ and is your best friend? apparently the answer is yes! to both of those questions. yes the fix is in. I love Kacchan and his quirk is fucking awesome okay. it just never ceases to amaze me how this one single quirk, which really only does one thing, is nonetheless so spectacularly powerful that it allows Bakugou to compete on the same level as the fucking protagonist with all of his godlike super-strength and Main Character Powers and wacky SIXQUIRKS!! shenanigans. in my opinion the coolest thing about Explosion isn’t even its firepower; it’s the way Bakugou’s adapted it to fly around and to boost his speed. I think he legit may be the fastest character in the series right now, or close to it. he’s faster than Iida and Gran Torino and Endeavor. he can keep up with Deku without breaking a sweat. and he knows how to use that speed, thanks to his insane reflexes. add in the fact that this is also without a doubt the most cinematic quirk in the entire series, and I think I’m justified in putting it this high up. and anyway I still put two others up above it so shh.
2. Search (Ragdoll/Tomura)
Hey, What’s That Guy’s Deal: The Quirk. I just really love this one you guys. it’s so fucking useful. Video Game HUD: The Quirk. one hundred people at a time?? locations and weak points?? works even when you’re not looking at the person anymore and have blinked your eyes, unlike CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE’S weak-ass quirks?? check, check, and check. is it any wonder AFO wanted this? plus it just looks so damn cool. the visual representation of everyone as little stars on a map. Turn On Location: The Quirk. okay look I feel like I’m doing a bad job of explaining why I have this quirk all the way up at number two. it just has this subtle badassness to it, and its introduction after almost two hundred chapters of buildup was just so fucking cool. maybe it’s recency bias?? I don’t even know; all I know is that I love this quirk and want to see more of it in action.
1. Blackwhip (Lariat/Deku)
listen, I was obsessed with this quirk back when it was called “Venom” and was by far the absolute coolest part of the 1990s Spider-Man cartoon series. I’m not just going to suddenly not be obsessed with it just because fandom is mad that Horikoshi gave Deku an additional power beyond just Smashing Stuff. Blackwhip is hands down the coolest quirk, guys. I’m sorry, it just is. it has the coolest name. it had the coolest entrance. it does basically anything you could ever want a quirk to do in battle. it grabs stuff. it Bloops. what more do you want. you’re all just jealous because you wish that you could Bloop too. I know I am. I wish I had a Bloop. anyway so yeah, Blackwhip is the upgrade to Deku’s fighting style that we desperately needed after 200+ chapters of Delaware Smashes and Broken Bones. all his fights are cooler now. he can save more people! he can fight without instantly dying! plus you just gotta love powers that occasionally explode out of control if their user gets all emotional and pissed off about the fact that you insulted his boyfriend. so yeah. Blackwhip at number one! on this list of favorite quirks. not best quirks!! jesus christ. please don’t kill me I have a family.
 so that’s my list! all 3000 words of it. how does this keep happening.
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foxmagpie · 3 years
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you know when you think a problem is over and then suddenly it’s back on your plate? i am seeeeeeething with rage this morning and i have a legitimate stomachache over it—not to mention that i was so fucking riled up last night that i could barely sleep. 
i had this student first term who is, like, really, really smart. but also they have executive dysfunction and struggle to show up to school and complete assignments and, y’know, handle any responsibility. so the kid was failing most of the first term, and then all the teachers and parent and kid had a meeting to go over how to best support them. it was an AWFUL meeting. mom was AS rude and condescending as you could be. shockingly, the mom WORKS IN EDUCATION and was asking us to do insane things to accommodate them. like okay, one of the issues was in science class. kid wasn’t completing any of the work, and mom’s solution was that there was “too much of it” and that the teacher should design an independent study program just for them where they’d complete ONE major project. but lady???? they lack accountability and have no responsibility? it means none of the teaching videos would cater to them? it means they’d be working ALONE without any oversight??? what a terrible plan. she was mad at me for holding “inconsistent zooms.” this was back before we had an official zoom schedule, and i was like, i dunno what to tell you. i cancel zooms where less than 3 students sign-up. your kid also isn’t signing up. so. the cancellations might partially be because of that. ya know??
anyway the agreement was that each of the kid’s teachers was individually responsible to do weekly reach-outs to try and get the kid to show up to class and do the work. it was annoying, but i had time for it because the schedule was a lot more flexible. kid still had an F until, like, the last week, when they churned out a bunch of assignments because they’re really bright and we were working on story structure and analysis—skills the kid already had.
OKAY, SO THEN TERM 2 STARTS.
i stress to the kid and mom that attendance is really crucial. it’s not gonna be like term 1. this is brand new content, content the kid has never learned before. there’s a lot of trial and error in this process. it’s going to be crucial that he stay on track from the get-go.
one week into term? kid emails me to ask if they can raise their term 1 grade from a C to a B. yes, the grade that was a low F until the last week of term. they can’t get their license until they get their grades up, you see.
i think this is a terrible idea. i think it’s going to distract the kid from the current workload. i also think it’s impressive that they went from like a 20% to a 75% in seven days. so just settle for the pass, right????
well parent teacher conferences come in mid-november and mom reopens the conversation. she wants him to get the B too. so i tentatively agree. i give her a list of i think 6 assignments that he can do with a 2 week deadline. i agree to no higher than a B, and am strict that once the window closes, it closes.
kid lies and says that my old assignments are “inaccessible” on canvas. mom emails me about it, insisting that the deadline shouldn’t start until the kid gets access. meanwhile, i have another student working on old assignments that can access them no problem. STRANGE RIGHT?
no energy to deal with that so i’m just like fine, whatever, tell me when the kid “gets access” (that they already have).
kid doesn’t even do all 6 assignments. does 3. sloppy. rushes. but since the grades change from zeroes to actual grades, they manage to get, like, an 80.1%.
THEY NEVER RETURN TO ANOTHER TERM 2 ZOOM CLASS AGAIN.
i text at the very beginning of january (with the stricter term 2 schedule, i have less time to personally manage this one student because i am working a lot more closely with a lot of students on zoom. i also have less time). i text and i’m like “hey, haven’t seen you in zoom for a while. can you come today? and if so, can you complete assignment 6.4 before you come?” it’s literally just... reading an article. kid agrees and shows, but never completes the assignment. whatever kid was working on in class that day never gets turned in. it’s useless.
less than two weeks later, mom goes OVER MY HEAD to the principal to talk about how my class is too hard. there’s too many assignments. it’s overwhelming. kiddo can’t handle that with the executive dysfunction! and i’m like. okay. sure. yes. i see that. BUT IF THEY SHOWED UP TO CLASS 18 OF THESE ASSIGNMENTS WOULD BE COMPLETE BECAUSE THEY ARE LITERALLY FIVE MINUTE FREEWRITES. THAT’S IT!!!!! THEY ONLY TAKE 5 MINUTES!!!! IT’S ONLY OVERWHELMING BC THEY SKIP CLASS EVERY DAY!!!!!
but okay. fine. i excuse the kid from approximately 18 small assignments. i also send mom and kid a detailed list of priority assignments, chunked into smaller, more manageable pieces, only focusing on the assignments that will have the biggest impact on grade. it’s a list of about... 12 assignments. a lot, but not insurmountable, right? 
kid doesn’t do a SINGLE ONE. mom and kid don’t even reply to the email.
the last day of term in january 28th.
on january 27th, kid finally, many weeks later, turns in ONLY 6.4 (yes, the assignment i asked them to do before the zoom 3 weeks ago). 
on january 28th, the last day of class, the kid emails me and asks for an extension to the end of the weekend so that they can get caught up on all their work. i have never said no to an extension before but this time i just couldn’t do it. legitimately, i had to spend the whole weekend prepping for new courses and building them on canvas. i didn’t have time to grade over a dozen assignments (because by that point, new assignments had also been assigned) to get in by monday morning. i was grading on friday, and legitimately couldn’t do it. i also wanted say no because... duh. but i’m a pushover, so i said they could have 24 hours. 
over the 24 hours, the kid turns in two assignments. says nothing. 
fails the class.
and then on sunday night, late, right before the start of the new term, the kid emails me to ask if they can get an Incomplete rather than an F. what this would do is allow the kid to continue working on my classwork in term 3 with no grade penalty until the grade was raised to something satisfactory. 
i said no. i was done. over it. this kid had been enabled every step of the way, and i wasn’t participating anymore.
i wrote the kid a long, DETAILED email about exactly why they didn’t earn an Incomplete. they were absent over 50% of the days not even logging into canvas, were excused from more assignments than they completed, and still had nearly 20 missing assignments. they had only completed one assignment from the actual main crux of the unit we were working on, and therefore hadn’t demonstrated proficiency in the content. basically, they hadn’t gotten far enough to earn an I. it was an F. i was really sorry about it, but i thought they would benefit most from repeating the class.
i met with the principal, wasting my time by recounting this entire story. and principal convinces me to give the kid a NP instead of an F, which means it doesn’t affect their GPA—either way. once they repeat the class, they’ll replace it with a P, which also doesn’t affect their GPA. it seems fair, considering the kid has major barriers and hurdles that impact their ability to do well, but it still means they have to repeat all the content. 
now, two full weeks into term 3, the kid emails me last night to tell me they were “confused” based on a “misunderstanding” and had believed they had until friday to makeup all their old work, but “just learned” that they received a NP. they’d already started reading all the old articles! and could they just have through the weekend to do—AND YES I’M BEING SERIOUS HERE—two assignments to pass the class instead of having to retake the whole thing?
HOW ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TWO ASSIGNMENTS AWAY FROM A PASS? 
WHY ON EARTH DID YOU THINK THAT AN EMAIL CLEARLY AND EXPLICITLY SAYING “NO” ACTUALLY MEANT YES?
oh my goddddddd oh my god oh my god i cannot get over the audacity of literally doing nothing, asking for no help, responding to barely any reachouts, ignoring clear directions on which assignments to complete, failing to communicate when the deadline can’t be reached, and waiting after the fact to ask for EXTREMELY UNEARNED SPECIAL FAVORS??????
now i have to spend even more time on this issue bc i’m meeting with their counselor to justify my answer of HELL NO. 
but legitimately my heart is pounding asdfaklwekmfawefa 
everything about this is SO ANNOYIGN!!!!!
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𝕴𝖓 𝕸𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖊 𝕯𝖊𝖎 𝕾𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖚𝖘
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🔪Genre: Assassin Hoseok, Crime/Detective, Mystery, Suspense
🔪Warnings: none-explicit gore, mentions of child trafficking, death, implications of assault and rape (warnings are for the entire series and not all of them may apply to any one specific chapter)
🔪Rating: PG-13
🔪Pairings: None
🔪Word Count: 1.1K
🔪Masterlist
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As it was every Friday night, people crowded the small bar. Smoke hovered over the packed room in a steady haze. The likes of which made it difficult to breathe. From somewhere near the back, someone pounded out the notes to a nameless song which sounded oddly familiar. A couple danced through the chaos, too drunk and focused on one another’s lips to care about their surroundings.
Those inside sought refuge from the stress of the week at the bottom of a bottle or in a pack of cigarettes. Temporary as the fixes were, the reprieve it offered kept them returning each week.
Nestled in the corner, his back pressed up against the cold glass of the front window, Hoseok watched the crowd with half lidded eyes. A bottle of his favorite beer sat on the table in front of him, untouched. Just like every other helpless soul in there, he had come back from a particularly stressful week. Of course, the job had been successful. The jobs he’d been handed recently were child’s play. He could do them in his sleep. Hoseok wanted a challenge. Something to keep him guessing.
“Mind if I interrupt your thoughts?”
Hoseok smiled at the familiar sound of Yoongi’s voice and invited the man to sit with a nod of his head. “What brings you to the bar on a night like this?” He gave Yoongi a pointed look. “I thought you didn’t like crowded places.”
Yoongi shrugged, attempting to appear nonchalant but his eyes kept flitting back to the dancing couple who were gradually coming closer with every twirl. “You weren’t answering your phone.”
“Business or pleasure?”
Yoongi hesitated.
Hoseok groaned, finally picking up his beer. “I should have known you wouldn’t come into this bar for anything less than business. This couldn’t wait until I got home?”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Hoseok-ie.”
“I told you not to call me that.”
“And I told you to call me ‘hyung’ but you keep refusing, so I suppose we’re even now.”
Taking a large swig of his beer, Hoseok scrunched his nose in distaste. “Just tell me what the job is before you become the next target.”
“Why are you so grouchy? You can’t tell me you’re too tired to take on another job now. Your last hit wasn’t even difficult.”
Hoseok wanted to dispute Yoongi’s claim but it was a fight he knew he couldn’t win. Begrudgingly, he kept his thoughts to himself. “What’s the job?”
Yoongi smiled, satisfied. “A woman they call Mist.”
“No last name?”
“None that we know of. Not much of anything is known about her actually. What we do know is that she’s approximately twenty-two and over the past year she’s managed to make a name for herself among the child traffickers. Looks like she’s got a hefty price on her head.”
“Bet I have her beat.”
“That’s not something most people would take pride in.”
“I’m not most people.”
Yoongi rattled off a few more facts but Hoseok was only half listening. The couple had stopped dancing and were making out passionately against the bar counter. Seokjin, the bar’s owner, wrinkled his nose in disgust as he wiped down the counter around them.
“It sounds fairly simple actually. Once we gather a bit more information on her, you should be able to wrap it up quickly.”
Hoseok tore his gaze away from the couple. “Why won’t you find me a more interesting job? Something a bit more challenging?”
Digging in his bag, Yoongi brought a bright blue folder up to the table. “You are the only person I know who complains about their job being too easy. Can’t you just be grateful you have a job?”
“All this talent is going to waste with these easy ones. I need something to prove my skill.”
“Your skills don’t need proving. Besides, I thought you may want this one.”
Hoseok raised a skeptical brow. “What makes you say that?”
“The contractors are willing to pay top dollar.”
“Most are.”
Yoongi shook his head and slid the folder across the table, tapping it twice to grab Hoseok’s attention. “I think you’ll find their offer more than a little tempting.”
Intrigued, Hoseok snatched up the folder, flipping it open as he rested his elbows on the table. He froze, his eyes scanning over the number a few times to ensure he wasn’t imagining an extra set of zeros. “How important is the capture of this person?”
“Apparently, pretty damn important.” Yoongi took the folder back and carefully placed it back in his bag. “So what do you say?”
Sitting back in his chair, Hoseok downed the remainder of his beer. “Easy money is something I would be a fool to walk away from. I’ll take it but the next job better be more exciting.”
Yoongi hummed in acknowledgment. “Yeah, sure. I’ll get right on that.”
“How long do you wager it’ll take me?”
“To find her, or finish the job?”
“Both.”
“Fifty buck says it takes you a week to find her.”
Raising his arms above his head in a stretch, Hoseok scoffed, “Who do you think I am? I’ll have her within 48 hours.”
“You’re on.”
The two shook hands. Hoseok laughed at his friend’s naïveté. He knew he was capable of so much more than even Yoongi realized. “Do we have any useful information?”
Yoongi shook his head. “Only what I’ve told you. There’s nothing to even indicate where she’s currently staying.” Looping the strap of his bag over his shoulder, he glanced at Hoseok worriedly. “She’s good, Hoseok-ie. Almost as good as you.”
“All those hours behind a screen are starting to mess with your head.” Leaning down, he placed both palms on the table, getting right up in Yoongi’s face. In a low voice he said, “No one’s as good as me.”
Yoongi wasn’t fazed. Pushing the younger back, he laughed, “You have the biggest ego of anyone I know. Karma is going to catch up with you eventually. You’re going to bite off more than you can chew and it’s going to get you hurt. Or worse.”
“I don’t know whether to laugh or take offense at that.”
“Then take it as a warning.” Yoongi stood and shuffled around the table to lay a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder. “You’re not invincible. It’s hard to believe at times, but you are human. Remember that.”
Irritated, Hoseok shrugged Yoongi’s hand off. “I’m not going to get myself killed. Have a little faith in me.”
Yoongi sighed, “I do, you know that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t worry. It was only last month that you slipped up. The new officer assigned to your case is good. Jimin almost caught it. If it weren’t for Taehyung, you’d be behind bars right now.”
“Alright, so I’m not perfect. But neither is Mist. I’ll catch her and prove that you have nothing to worry about.”
Yoongi didn’t appear convinced. “You’re not allowed to do anything stupid enough to get you killed until you’ve fulfilled your promise to me.
Placing a dramatic hand over his heart, Hoseok’s mischievous grin returned. “And for a moment there, I thought you actually cared about me.”
The look on Yoongi’s face was hard to read and it made Hoseok uncomfortable the longer they continued to stare at one another. Perhaps he’d gone a bit too far. Yoongi wasn’t like anyone else Hoseok had ever worked with. He’d retained his emotions through everything. He was still human and Hoseok didn’t know how to handle it.
Clearing his throat, he averted his gaze. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a criminal to hunt down.”
“Ironic,” Yoongi scoffed.
Hoseok rolled his eyes but found himself laughing along with the elder as they left the bar. The strange and confusing emotions from before temporarily forgotten.
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rodjelly56 · 3 years
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