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#it is good music and it is doesnt feel out of my league or generally far away
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It is true that i need to learn to learn to stand to lose too because i was a 'gifted kid' and i dont think i need to say how scared i am of coming out as 'talentless' lol
I think a big part of it is also that i dont feel very supported? Which i think is partly my fault because i know my family doesnt really understand any artistic medium and none of my friends are in the music field and dont really get why im dping this if im not studying music (which is actually so silly to think because why do i have to stick to only one form of art?)
In lighter terms, ive been writhing a lot lately and felt quite proud of some stuff i came out with, and finished one i cry everytime i play so i was quite happy with how i could capture it out.
Its so scary to let people see how you think but ill try to work on it, thanks halla for taking the time to respond to this, i really really appreciate it 💕
-🤖
Ohhhh babeee. I get that believe me 💗💗 I’m a scholarship kid who got into the Ivy leagues (if you’re not in the US: Harvard, Stanford, MIT, UPenn etc) but then had a mental breakdown and almost got kicked out of the program. Believe me, I know how you feel. the perfectionism is a blessing and a curse lmao. I also come from generations of a STEM family who don’t really get the whole literature thing hahahha. Growing up, I was always told “can’t you just….read books as a hobby? Get a degree that pays money!” (Which is fair enough. Unemployment rates for English PhDs is 60% they’re not wrong lmao).
But that’s where I think Matty’s statement, though dramatic, is serially true. Artists who stop making art would go insane. You did not choose this music thing. It chose you. And if you forced yourself to just not do it anymore and try something “safe” that you can excel at easily to scratch that perfectionist need to do everything in the best possible way, then you might be happy for 5 seconds. But you’ll eventually start to miss the music and do anything you can to get back to it. That’s how I feel now about my abandoned degree in creative writing lol. Keep at it. Life is too short to hold back from things that you love just cuz some dumbass out there who can’t get their head out of their ass doesn’t like what you have to say. Good news!! There is soooo much music out there for all sorts of folks and their tastes. The people who like you will choose you and those who don’t can fuck off and go find some music they do like!
Oh hey no thanks necessary. I’m really glad you’re doing this. We need artists all the time. Can never have enough!
Maybe try this: make a song about being scared to make songs for this project and maybe include it in the project? Could be therapeutic? Haha.
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echoesofadream · 5 months
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the album really does suck ass… def the worst our of all the bts solos sadly. like i don’t even like jm like at ALL but his album is leagues above jk’s. sad
it seriously doesnt even sound like HIM like it sounds like songs by and for other artists but sung with jungkook's voice, who of course gives his all but it's still so terribly beneath him. like listening to hate you im like am I listening to Shawn Mendes right now? like my friend pointed this out but hes just too good at copying so its really like, I HAVE heard this song before and it was by fukcing Justin Bieber or ed Sheeran or who the fuck and it was overplayed on the radio the summer of 2017 or something idk. too sad to dance sounds like some shit hit song by some boring pathetic one hit wonder sometime in the 2010s like. some dull male who thinks he can sing and that being quirky and self deprecating in his music means it isnt absolutely terrible. well it is. there is no soul there is no personality this is the most generic mainstream shit thats ever been produced I believe. closer to you and please dont change are so jarring cause what the fuck did they make him sing now????? this is not HIM. I dont mean that he cant do whatever he wants or sing whatever genre he wants; I mean there is absolutely NOTHING of him in these songs, he just copied the way songs like these are supposed to be sung and he did it brilliantly because he is an amazing artist and singer but it is almost painful how little of himself thats in it.
I feel like even with the other members that didnt write and produce themselves they still got to keep their own aura. not to mention quality. FACE is straight up like a masterpiece (even tho it like personally did not impact me that deeply) and layover is very lowkey but still so very Kim Taehyung you know (and I do like layover second most of all solo projects and yes jungkooks is still my favorite bc of snty only I guess this is what they meant about being biased?). so its like. is jungkook their automatic singing machine they can just give whatever trash they want to? hes just supposed to chew it up and sing to give them cheap bucks? like did they even try?
for jungkook though I accept his choices and do not ask anything more from him, he's worked so hard on this and I am so so proud of him. im so thankful for him and his beautiful voice. I wanna end this not being a hater so
STANDING NEXT TO YOU SONG OF THE YEAR SINGER OF THE UNIVERSE BEST SINGER AND ARTIST IN THE WORLD JEON JUNGKOOK
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toneinaflat · 3 years
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HEADCANONS!!! ABT ANYTHING!!!!
...
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SO,
Pearl is a certified GAMER but will literally TRACK YOU DOWN AND BEAT YOU TO A PULP AND USE YOU IN HER ORANGE JUICE if you play league of legends
My version of Pearl (overrift) is like...really good fucking friends with krit. like. besties. they text eachother all the time and half of the time the texts dont even make sense its just screaming
Pearl will spend their ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS for someone in need- like theyll donate a SHIT TON of money to people in need
Pearl will MESS UP THE LETTERS ON A SIGN TO BE FUNNY BUT NO ONE WILL FIND IT AMUSING AT ALL
callie will sing when theyre in trouble..like. THEYLL SING IF THEYRE IN DANGER OR IF THEYRE GUILTY OF SOMETHING
callie and marie fight over food all the fucking time. literally
pearl has tried to teach krit how to cook but has failed because he has bad luck cooking in general so he sets the kitchen on flames even if he pours water in a CUP ITLL SET ON FIRE SOMEHOW
Callie, when wearing the hypnoshades, will actually be..suprisingly honest with some hidden feelings if you get her to talk about them. Since she's worn them more, i feel as if she'd remember some stuff from her non-hypno state, but..like. shallowly. She'll be able to remember the feelings.
Hypno callie, on her own, is highly mischievous, and will do stuff like writing graffiti on walls, messages, and even messaging people to do a "little bit of trolling" in her words.
Callie hates the dark, and completely silent places. She gets really paranoid being alone.
and now about some splatoon and non splatoon ocs/characters,,
Cherry, My octoling girl, is very immature, and is very childish when it comes to arguments and serious situations. She will NOT be afraid to get physical..or scream and cry, having a meltdown.
Cherry loves sweets, but loves fruits and carbonated drinks the most.
As you might of guessed, cherry loves cherry flavored things! And cherries.
Cherry HATES orange and lemon or limed flavored things.
Cherry, while not seeming like it, is very protective over her close friends and family. Even if she hates you...if you're apart of her family, she'll fight with her LIFE to protect you.
Cherry likes heavy metal, and lullabies. Those are her two favorite genres of music.
Cherry's least favorite type of music is Country and ANY break up songs. She thinks they're stale, annoying, and unoriginal. But..she does like tide goes out.
Krit can do things very fast, but can sing the fastest. If he gets a good start and is progressively singing faster instead of immediately singing fast, he can reach past the speed of sound because of his determination.
Krit can change outfits from the events of his ARC, and because of this, he can now wear clothes without ruining them!!! Yay!!! :D
Krit LOVES rock and 80s music, but HATES country music with a burning passion. He'll listen to pop music, though..if its a specific type.
Krit loves chirpy chips. Thats. His favorite splatoon related band honestly. Him and cherry listen to them a lot,,
Krits top 3 fears, not in a specific order are: Not being remembered, Losing people he loves/people leaving him for "someone better", and the song "All I want for Christmas is You".
Krit knows Japanese, English, Some inkling, and more octoling than inkling. He's learning to understand cherry better.
Krit..has bad experiences with inklings, which is why he favors octolings more, despite not knowing their past actions, but APPARENTLY knowing the hypnoshades are bad.
Krit was so determined to teach callie a lesson once about the dangers of the hypnoshades, that he, and marie, put them on to show them how they were bad...but..things went wrong, and ever since then, he's had ear piercings. He doesnt mind them, though, because he actually likes them!...and callie never learned anything from that event.
Toon Link loves to draw, as he thinks its the best way to express himself and relieve stress alone. Some of the drawings are..kind of..concerning to look at, though.
Ever since Link was taken in by Krit and Sonya, he's been able to develop a strong personality, and also, have a chance at a proper childhood. However, his mind thinks otherwise, as..he might be a bit TOO focused on being "the hero".
Link claims to be "The Hero" a lot, but mostly in his..'Hero' state. Its unknown why this happens, but it could be because of his past trauma and other things. Especially since he has high expectations for himself.
Despite a lot of this, he is very childish. He tends to cry a lot when holding in a lot of emotion, as he tends..to hold it in until he cant anymore.
Link wants more friends desperately. He wants to be viewed normally.
Link isolates himself a lot after previous events of being told how he causes problems and people to get hurt. It isnt stated outright, but he tends to take it that way, and to heart.
Link likes to dress in a girly style sometimes, as he says it "defines his creative mind".
Link enjoys all types of music, but favors orchestra over most, rivaling with pop music.
Link is THE HERO.
thank you for reading through this!!! and thank you for the ask,,,!!! :D
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Okay then
I finished my playthrough of pokom swsh for the second time just in case I missed something the first playthrough, and I have some thoughts overall. I will say that this game isnt bad. But I wouldn't say it's good either. Its just a basic pokemon game. There are some good things about this game, there are some bad things about this game, but overall I have a bunch of neutral thoughts where it doesnt do anything exceptional, it just is. And that's the gist of this game in a nutshell. it just is. It's not groundbreaking, but I wouldnt say it regressed in anything. It just stayed the same.
That being the good thing about this game includes
Character design. But to be fair that's never been a problem with pokemon. I love the chatacter designs of every character you meet. Especially Leon and Raihan but I think it's clear that I love these two. Melony was really cute too. And in will always love the fact that I can make my character black and I love that now my mom matches me, because in X and Y, it was weird.
Hop. He's the only character that the game actually focused on. I love that his losses affected him and it made him rethink what he wants to do and how he wants to do it. Although I hated his endgame, I loved how we see it affect him through the game. Hes like a mix of Cheren and Hau
Town design. I love the designs of each town. They all feel distinct and vibrant and it looks good on the TV. The towns are just really beautiful
Gym challenges. I like the idea of these battles being in stadiums. It makes the challenges feel big and important. I like that you have an official uniform and that it feels like an official league you have to sign up for rather than randomely starting your adventure and just going through the motions.
The X button for pokeballs in battle. This is something small, that I love so much. I didn't know I needed this function, until it was given to me. I love it so much
The amount of items you can find in the game. Another small thing but in older games, the amount of things you could find is incredibly small. I know why, but finding all these random items in the wild area makes the game feel big. If that makes any sense.
How your pokemon stands around you when making curry. I dont know why I love that they do. Makes it seem like you're really out camping with your pokemon. It's really cute
The music when you win a battle. I don't care for this games soundtrack, its neutral to me, but that beat goes in. I love it.
The animation of pyro ball is gorgeous. I love that since X and Y they've given the starter pokemon their own special moves. Makes the starters feel special in their own way
When you choose a starter, I love how each pokemon greets their trainer when chosen. Its really cute.
Pokemon designs. I really like this generations pokemon.
That's about as much as I can think of right now that I seen as a positive. I'll make seperate posts for Nuetral and Negative.
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abadpoetwithdreams · 6 years
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Nirvana in Fire Episode 6 Reaction
I have now mostly adjusted back to my current timezone after all that globetrotting, so I can use some free time to watch NiF instead of just sleeping. Yay!
Episode 6 starts–once again–exactly where we left off last time. At this point I should accept this as the given startpoint for every episode, but it also means I’m sort of worried that they’ll throw me for a loop and start an episode with a flashback or time jump or something just to mess with me at some point. Consort Yue is getting her comeuppance and I’m totally fine with revisiting that moment, obviously. But then the Emperor asks Jing Do you know what you did wrong? and I’m just oh, wait, no, I didn’t want to see this. That’s right. I was outraged when I finished the last episode, not happy. Time to see what Jing has to reply, I guess.
(Also: another scene with lots of Prince Jing close ups, another scene where I keep getting distracted by eyebrow envy. Seriously. From now on just assume that whenever there’s a close up on Wang Kai’s face I’m feeling a double-pang of jealousy and admiration.)
To my disappointment but also relief, Jing does not answer with “nothing.” Instead, he says he did wrong in holding the Crown Prince at swordpoint. Which, eh, debatable, but it looks like that’s the answer the Emperor was looking for. He asks Jing how did he know to go into Zhaoren Palace to save Ni Huang, when he has never gone that way before? Jing, bless his heart, freezes up and you can see how hard he’s thinking, haha. He can’t say who told him–I’m unclear if he knows the word came from Mei Chang Su or if he just thinks it was Meng, but regardless he can’t namedrop because the Emperor will then want to question THAT person, plus he doesn’t want anyone to know that he and Chang Su are in league. At the same time, though, this is Jing. There’s no way he can come up with a convincing lie on the spot like this. He’s stuck.
But just then: Prince Yu to the rescue! Wait, what?? Yep, our favourite moustacheless Jerk Prince has arrived with his usual flair to worm his way into the narrative in the best light possible. So THAT is what Mei Chang Su was doing last episode! He was sending Yu to save Jing before Jing even went to save Ni Huang, lololol he knows Jing so well. I’m in love with how far ahead this man thinks. His whole mind is a chessboard. It speaks to a rather unhealthy level of singleminded obsession and focused energy, but never mind that for now; let’s just bask in his brilliance.
The Emperor somewhat impatiently asks Yu what he is here for this time (aha he really is just done with this whole afternoon isn’t he? Well, good. I hope this gives you a headache, Emperor). In response, Yu tells the Emperor that HE is the one who told Jing to go save Ni Huang. HAAAAA.
This is such a clever move! Of course Yu will be eager to help Jing out here because Chang Su will have presented it as a chance for him to look good in the Emperor’s eyes, ESPECIALLY in contrast to the disgraced Crown Prince (aka moustache Jerk Prince), and even more, now he’s probably going to feel like Jing owes him something. But this is also the perfect cover for Jing, aka the prince Chang Su is ACTUALLY looking out for. I love it. But it’s a very good thing that no one was looking at Jing’s face when Yu said that, because this boy has no poker face whatsoever and his utter confusion and surprise is sooooo obvious, lolll.
Ni Huang’s skeptical-dagger sideeye is much more subtle. I say this every episode recap, but: be more like Ni Huang, Jing.
The Emperor demands details, and Yu very confidently tells this whole story of how he was on his way to visit his mother (filial piety: check!), and his route took him past Zhaoren palace where he noticed the Crown Prince, because how could he not notice such an important personage (respect to his higher ranking brother: check!), and the Crown Prince was letting Sima Lei into the palace. He thought it inappropriate to let an official into the palace (ooh, he’s so conscientious about propriety! Check!) so he had his men investigate and when they reported Ni Huang was also there, he thought that strange and sent for Jingyan. As the Emperor points out, this keen observation and quick putting-together of all the clues also makes Yu look very intelligent. UGH Prince Yu must be grinning like a cat on the inside. Jing looks almost as impressed as the Emperor as he listens to this rigamarole, albeit he also looks increasingly disgusted. Control your beautiful face, Jingyan.
The Emperor looks very approving of his sneaky son, but also wants to know why Yu chose to send Jing in instead of going himself? Yu smoothly answers that he thought it would be wrong of him to enter the palace, considering it is heavily guarded so he would have to take his own guards with him, too. Jing happened to walk by, so that’s why he picked Jing to go instead. Since Jing is a prince, it would be within his rights to go in, and he could just apologize if nothing was amiss and be on his way. I guess as a lesser ranked prince and one who is highly skilled in martial arts as well, his entering the palace alone wouldn’t be as aggressive and dangerous an act as Yu entering accompanied by armed men.
Huh, says the Emperor, I’m surprised you just obeyed Prince Yu and went, Jing. You’re usually not so obedient. (Which made me instantly envision how this actual scenario would really go down, preferably along the lines of
(Yu: Hey, Jing Yan, do me a favor, I need you to go into Zhaoren palace and–)
(Jing: Do it yourself. *doesnt break stride*)
Jing has caught on to the ploy by now, thank heaven for small mercies, and says since this concerned Ni Huang’s safety, he did not have the luxury of ignoring his brother’s order, lol. Yu pipes up and praises Jing for acting so bravely and saving Ni Huang in time, and then goes one step further and accepts the blame for threatening the life of the Crown Prince, saying he himself did not hold the sword, but Jing was only there under his orders, so it’s his fault really. If the Emperor plans on punishing Jing, then Yu demands that he also share that punishment, because that is only fair. Aw, what a noble, righteous, good prince this Yu is NOPE WAIT A SECOND HE’S NOT GOOD HE’S JUST GOOD AT LYING AND PLAYING HIS CARDS RIGHT. I see you, Yu, I seeee youuuu.
The Emperor chuckles, good humor restored, and accepts this whole story, wryly saying that well, he does know Yu keeps close watch on the Crown Prince, after all. Sanctimonious Prince Yu humbly responds that of course he does: the Crown Prince is both his superior in rank AND his older brother! He looks up to him and strives always to follow in his footsteps and he always has! Enough of such talk, the Emperor cuts him off, saying what we are all thinking. He knows this last, at least, is utter hogwash, but he also decides to believe the rest of Yu’s story. While this doesn’t excuse Jing for his crime (at this, both Ni Huang and Yu interrupt to beg that Jing be shown clemency, which, aw (even if Yu is just doing this for himself)), the gracious Emperor will allow the merit of his good deed in saving Ni Huang to cancel out whatever punishment he earned. How nice.
Prince Yu, however, gets rewarded with pearls and brocade and all sorts of fancy riches as well as his father’s praise, so that’s unfair. We get to see both Yu and Jing make deep bows and thank their dad, but we sadly don’t see the Crown Prince’s face when Yu gets all that reward, because he must be losing his MIND. Also Ni Huang doesn’t look that pleased, but she is composed nonetheless. The Empress looks VERY pleased. She came out of this best: her hated rival was shamed and punished and demoted, her son earned himself so many brownie points, AND she got to watch both of these events go down. It’s just a really good day for her.
While Jing is storming away from the palace–he doesn’t look more grumpy than usual, he just always looks like he’s storming places when he walks–Ni Huang chases after him.
She tells him he left too quickly; she hadn’t even finished thanking Prince Yu when Jing was already gone! I don’t blame him; I’d want to get out of there as fast as I could, too. But then she continues and tells Jing that she knows that Yu was lying; she knows he didn’t send Jing to save her. Did Mister Su send you? she asks, a little self-consciously; she does not meet Jing’s eyes as she asks the question. Hey hey heyyyyyy
What does Su have do do with anything? Jing asks, looking truly perplexed. Commander General Meng was the one who approached me. (Ok, so I guess our poor brave Prince really did have no idea Su was involved. Oh, precious.) (Also the blessed people who do the music for this show had a chime or somesuch instrument ring really loudly as he said this and started talking it out, it was like an audible version of a lightbulb suddenly clicking on as he starts to work things out, I laughed)
He says he was skeptical, but hey, he trusts Meng and since the order concerned Ni Huang’s safety, he figured better safe than sorry. Why would she think Su had anything to do with it? Ni Huang looks taken aback, then disappointed, then a little irritated but mostly determined. Well, she says, I clearly have some questions for Meng.
(Uh oh, Meng. Start running now. Or at least I hope you have been coached on what to tell her. I feel like you aren’t really up to the task of improvising a convincing cover story that would be good enough to fool the Princess.)
Meanwhile, Prince Yu and his mother are enjoying a celebratory Drink and Gloat together. As one does, when your political, romantic, and fraternal rivals all shoot themselves in the foot on the same day, right in front of you. The Empress gleefully congratulates her snakey son. Said snakey son responds by grinning and basically saying Hey, mom, just in case you thought I was being nice? I wasn’t. I was being sneaky. Just thought you should know. Which is to say, he tells her how he wasn’t really defending Jing, he was just stealing all the credit for Jing’s bravery and good deed, and he actually had nothing to do with saving Ni Huang at all. This probably makes her even more proud, sighhhh. Something I do like about this show is what mama’s boys these rival Princes are, even while being genuinely terrible human beings. Prince Yu is reeeally basking in his mother’s praise.
Yu points out an additional bonus he gained that I hadn’t considered until now: Ni Huang might not have considered herself indebted to the Empress for her intervening, since the Empress seemingly showed up by chance. Ni Huang would probably have felt grateful towards Jing instead, because, duh. But by taking credit for sending Jing in the first place, Prince Yu has ensured that Ni Huang has ended up indebted to him after all, in addition to Jing also owing him now. Verrrrry impressive. Sure enough, the Empress LOVES this, but then she stops to ask: Yu might have taken credit for sending Jing, but since he didn’t actually do it–what is the real reason for Jing being in Zhaoren palace?
Yu flashes back to his meeting with Mei Chang Su, where Su told him where to go and what to do. Thinking out loud, in some awe, Yu remarks that he isn’t the biggest winner of the day after all; when the Empress asks what he means, he explains: Mei Chang Su was the real winner of the day. He orchestrated everything, on such scant evidence. Yu really, really, REALLY wants Mr. Divine Talent on his team now. The man is just so brilliant! (Yes he is, Yu. More than you know.)
While this is happening, Ni Huang has tracked down Meng, with Jing tagging along. She evidently piqued his curiosity. Meng has this wonderful “oh no” face when he greets them; he’s smiling but also he definitely knows he’s about to be grilled. And thus begins the Lang Ya Bang Sherlock Holmes AU, starring Princess Ni Huang as Holmes and Prince Jing as her silent, stalwart Watson. Under questioning, Meng tries his darndest but ends up folding extremely quickly, loll. Meng tries saying he got news that Sima Lei entered the palace because he’s a Commander General responsible for the Emperor’s safety, he knows about stuff like that! But even Jing CLEARLY isn’t buying that. Ni Huang very sweetly marvels at how incredibly insightful and quick thinking Meng is (she is smugly triumphant as she says this because she knows all three of them know that isn’t Meng at all lolol her happy expression and lifting of her chin is so cute) and he immediately gives up the ruse because he’s honest and knows that she has him.
The trio move their conversation inside where Meng presumably confesses that the rescue was all Mei Chang Su’s doing. Jing is skeptical about how Mei Chang Su could deduce Ni Huang’s peril so accurately from so little information. Meng opens his mouth to answer, and looks surprised when Ni Huang answers first, and of course she isn’t speaking from any Su Script: she’s speaking for herself. She tells Jing about how she has evidence that Su knew something was wrong even before Sima Lei arrived: Mei Chang Su had warned her himself to be wary of the harem. Jing does NOT look happy at this revelation. Ni Huang is not that happy either, to be honest, because she has to make certain to present Yu with a lavish gift and abundant thanks the next day, but she is so SURE that it is Su she should really be thanking.
Meng asks why Ni Huang must thank Yu when it’s so obvious he had nothing to do with it and was merely out to steal glory? Oh, Meng, you innocent. Ni Huang reminds him that, well, Yu does technically deserve thanks because he prevented Jing from being punished–no matter how selfish his motives were–but she also reminds him that the Crown Prince, though somewhat disgraced, is still the Heir and still possesses all the power that entails. If she is abundantly thankful to Prince Yu and ignores Jing, then it is less likely that the humiliated Crown Prince will target Jing and persecute him for his role in Consort Yue’s downfall, and more likely the Crown Prince will focus his hatred instead on Yu–who, let’s face it, has already been established as his hated rival, so this ploy should work to focus his rage. She’s using her social duty to trick the feuding Princes into keeping their blinders on and attacking only each other, forgetting Jing. Awwww, she’s protecting our Jingyan, I’m so proud. Jing (who has been looking pretty deep in thought this whole time) looks a little self-conscious, I think. I’m betting he hadn’t stopped to consider he might be targeted by the Crown Prince.
(Sidenote: Wang Kai’s face is very distracting in this scene, because the lighting is juuuuust right for shining off his carefully highlighted cheekbones and his skin is very shiny here like good lord lol. He’s just so beautiful it’s hard to concentrate on what he’s saying. It’s probably a good thing that Jing doesn’t smile very much in this show so far, because if he ever did look genuinely happy I don’t think I could handle it on an emotional level.)
Jing remarks that Prince Yu had seemed very pleased. Understatement, much? Ni Huang says of course he was pleased! She lays out all the reasons why Yu is winning at life right now, and then pauses: Yu must have a wonderfully clever mentor, she says, slowly. The look of sudden dawning disgust on Jing’s face is glorious to behold. He is DEFINITELY NOT happy. Wow, he says, this mentor really IS something, isn’t he. He’s causing so much chaos in the palace; none of us, seemingly, can escape his machinations. He’s playing ALL of us. Meng looks really unhappy to hear Jing talk so coldly about Mei Chang Su, but of course he can’t say anything in our favourite plotting scholar’s defense! Aaaand fade to black. I have a hunch that Jing is suddenly not feeling so thankful about the whole saving of the slave kid thing.
Next scene, after an undetermined jump in time (I’m guessing it’s the same day since Jing is wearing the exact same outfit, but then again maybe he just likes that outfit idk), begins with Jing approaching Mei Chang Su. Uh oh.
(I want to take a moment here to compliment the lighting on this show because it’s always so clear and cold, there’s always this natural-frozen-winter lighting on everything and it’s wonderfully atmospheric and gorgeous to look at. Ok carry on.)
Su bows politely because he’s so polite and proper always (pfft) and asks why Jing summoned him during bad weather (it’s on the cusp of a rainstorm apparently? Considering that Mei Chang Su is ill and everyone’s usually making such a fuss about him being out in the cold and damp, this is yet ANOTHER red flag about just how Not Happy Jing is. Jing does take an instant to look a little guilty, but then shakes it off because he’s still righteously angry.
(Hey Lin Shu, where’s your furs, you brat? Somewhere Fei Liu is fuming for sure.)
Your Highness seems angry, says Su. Jing gives him this wonderful “oh DO i?” deadpan glare, and then has out with it: He wants to know if Chang Su is happy with how the Ni Huang crisis turns out. The heavy implication is that Jing thinks Su orchestrated the whole thing, setting up Ni Huang so that Jing would have to save her, so that Jing would thereby earn her powerful family’s loyalty and also the Crown Prince would be destabilized–all this makes sense from a standpoint of cold logic, of course, and Prince Yu would definitely have arranged something like this if he could. We know as the audience that this isn’t actually what was going on, but then again Su DID turn the situation to his advantage. He did gamble somewhat with Ni Huang’s safety. But I’m certain that was not deliberate on his part: remember he did try to tell her not to visit the palace, she just ignored him.
Anyway, Jing is FURIOUS about this. He tells Su that in future, he demands that Su tell him BEFORE something like this happens. He doesn’t want to be Su’s pawn if they are truly collaborating to put Jing on the throne. If Su is going to be playing games with good people’s lives to attain his endgame, then Jing wants to know about it in advance or the deal between them is done. In fact, he’s going to take it even further and say Su is not ALLOWED to use good people like that, period. Jing says he does not want people like Ni Huang to end up as “stepping stones to my success,” which, awwww. HE IS SO GOOD. He is also SO ILL-SUITED TO THESE POLITICS.
Su listens to all this without interrupting or defending himself, but then he just says he did not expect Jing to think this of him and awwww he’s so sad. Jing starts telling Su about how good Ni Huang is and how she isn’t one of the bad people in court, one of the people squabbling for power; she’s sacrificed her life to the military to protect her people, she deserves better than to be a pawn in a strategist’s scummy games. Poor Su looks pretty haunted for this entire speech, but then he says he understands: Your highness is here today to set the rules.
(The way the power dynamic is constantly fluctuating between these two is fascinating, btw. Jing rightly saw in the Ni Huang case how Su is controlling the action, so now here he comes to control Su. We the audience know that Su can’t reeeeeally be controlled. But we shall see how it goes moving forward, I guess.)
Then there’s a tiny scene basically letting us know that the Empress is using all her influence to make Consort Yue’s life hell, but I don’t have much to say about that because this Mei Chang Su and Jing scene is THE scene of the episode and maybe even the entire show so far. What we get here is the most important monologue Jing has had so far, where he really tells both us and Su exactly who he is (here copied out in full, because it is That Important):
I have met many strategists. I have witnessed the most despicable and malicious acts they performed. The stabs in the back; not even the strongest person could withstand them. My eldest brother. My best friend. Both of them died from such unscrupulous schemes. I will not have them see me become a ruthless person who will stop at nothing. I don’t ask that you understand what it means to be iron-willed and tough in battle. But there are some people who mustn’t be hurt and some methods that mustn’t be used. If you can’t even respect those warriors who risk their lives in battle, then I, Xiao Jing Yan, will never associate myself with you.
THERE’S SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE GUYS BUT IM TOO BUSY CRYING.
1. Jing hates strategists. Now confirmed that he hates them because he saw what they did to the people he loved best. Now confirmed that his disgust for Su stems from his anger at what people like Su did to Shu who is Su and just STOP SHOW STOP
2. Mysterious Eldest Brother Qi is mentioned yet again. When will we find out exactly what happened twelve years ago. Whennnn.
3. Hard to imagine a Jing who actually liked one of his brothers, this is very sad
4. Jing has felt all this time that he has to live up to his dead brother and dead friend’s expectations of him, he’s been haunting himself with their judgemental ghosts all these years so even if Su gives him a way to avenge them by taking the throne himself he won’t let it be at the cost of becoming that thing that killed them to begin with good GRIEF Jing *takes a moment to cry a little more*
5. Jing of course assumes that Su does not understand the martial way of life and code of honor because he’s just a scholar strategist whose battlefield is the political arena (aka he’s manipulative trash) but also we know he is So Wrong and if he just stopped being angry a moment and really looked at Su’s face while he’s telling him this maybe he’d have second thoughts because Su looks CRUSHED
6. LIN SHU PLS JUST TELL JING WHO YOU ARE AND GRAB NI HUANG AND MENG AND JUST LEAVE JUST FIND A NICE HIDEAWAY SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU CAN BE HAPPY TOGETHER also Jingmum and Mu can come too just stop hiding and be safe and be happy look how broken Jing is just UGHHH
7. (Also since our Lin Shu is, of course, going to stay pretending to be Mei Chang Su, then even if he swears transparency to Jing it’s still a lie. Even if he brings Jing in on his plans in future, Jing is STILL just a pawn being played. I hate this I hate this I love this I hate this)
The drama knows we need some breathing space and time to restock our tissue boxes after that scene, so now we have another Empress scene, this time her talking with Prince Yu again.
I forget if we had explicit confirmation before that Yu is only the Empress’ adopted son, not her birth son (though I guess the fact that he isn’t the heir is sort of a giveaway), but she clearly says it here. I wonder if he was evil even before she adopted him or if he only developed all his snakey traits after. The Empress asks about Jing, and Yu says Jing left quietly and hasn’t said anything about Yu stealing credit, so they disregard him as a threat, figuring if he didn’t flare up angrily about it now, then he’s not going to ever bring it up again. The Empress apologizes for not managing to make her son the Heir when he’s so superior to the Crown Prince; Yu says that’s fine, everyone knows the Emperor favors the Consort anyway so it made sense he’d pick her son as heir. I don’t see how this should make the Empress feel better, but ok Yu.
The scheming mom and son team decide they have to take advantage of Consort Yue’s disgrace and house arrest (oh yeah, the Empress is trying to make sure no palace news reaches her rival too) to supplant the Crown Prince and replace him with Yu. Yu says here he feels very confident this will work, especially because he knows now that the Divine Talent is on his side.
Back to Jing and Su! Su agrees to Jing’s terms, but then asks if he can lay down some rules of his own. Jing looks grumpy, naturally, but concedes by sitting down with Su at table (previously he was still stubbornly standing).
(Sidenote: THE MUSIC T_T)
Su tells Jing he won’t cross the boundaries Jing has set, but also: they’re up against the Crown Prince and Prince Yu. If they are to win against those two, then Jing WILL have to be willing to be more ruthless than them. In addition, since Jing and Su are a TEAM, there should be no more secrets between them (OH THAT’S RICH). Secrets like … Ting Sheng, for example.
Uh, Ting Sheng? What could possibly be secret about Ting Sheng? Jing asks in the least innocent way possible. (Sidenote: remember what I said about how the power is constantly being passed back and forth between these two? Here comes Mei Chang Su taking it back after that verbal and moral drubbing from Jing.)
Su isn’t holding back: I’m talking about his real identity, he says. Jing looks guilty and distressed at this development, then confesses: this is his only secret, the only thing he will not speak of. How did Su figure it out? Su takes some pity on him and doesn’t say “because you are THE worst liar ever, Jingyan”; he sidesteps and says that isn’t important. What IS important is he had this knowledge and didn’t use it against Jing. HE IS ON JING’S SIDE. TRUST HIM. Also, Jing NEEDS him on his side, because once they can’t stay under the radar with their grab for the throne anymore, both the Crown Prince AND Yu will go after Jing, and does Jing think he could survive that without Mei Chang Su’s help? Nope, didn’t think so.
Jing concedes this but then starts reiterating that still, there are good people in court who are not involved in politics and who he does not want drawn into this, and THIS time Su does cut him off, saying that it doesn’t matter: he WILL still use those who can be used to further Jing’s rise in power. Jing looks taken aback at this. But Su continues, saying that though he will use people, he will do his best not to hurt them. That’s the best he can promise. I think this honesty and openness gets through to Jing a little; it’s a compromise anyway and it comes across as Su not trying to lie to him and not WANTING to hurt people, or at least not being entirely dispassionate about it. Jing nods and rises, looking very conflicted, and then pauses as he leaves.
I still have to thank you, he says, for rescuing Ting Sheng. Then he walks out. So I guess he still has to thank him. Hm.
Next scene: FINALLY MY GOOD PURE BOYS ARE BACK. Their arrival is well-timed because after all that angst I am so emotionally exhausted and they revive me.
“Hey, Jing Rui, isn’t that man who just went by your brother Zhou Qing Yao?” OK NEVER MIND THIS DOESNT MAKE ME FEEL ANY HAPPIER AT ALL
Jing Rui says it’s impossible that Yu Jin saw his brother; his brother couldn’t have returned home without Jing Rui being notified! Guys, I have such a bad feeling about this. Such a bad feeling. Even the music is like “UH OH WATCH OUT.”
But our two favourite Good Besties shrug it off and decide to visit Mei Chang Su. Apparently he’s started looking for a house of his own (remember he’s still living on the Marquis’ property atm)? Hm. There must be a Reason for this.
Cut to–sure enough–Zhou Qing Yao talking with the Marquis. He’s reporting on Xia Dong, the intelligence woman who dislikes Jing and who was sent to investigate that Duke of Qing from episode like one or two. It’s been a while. He says she’s found enough evidence that the Duke is sunk if she gets back to the capitol to report. This is all well and good, because the Marquis wants Prince Yu weakened, but Xia Dong also found out stuff that could implicate the Marquis–she’s just too good at her job. (She also looks amazing while riding across that river with her hood up, I love deep dramatic hoods.)
Xie Bi, Jing Rui’s brother and the Marquis’ son, has all this time been supporting Prince Yu. He, Jing Rui, and everyone think that while he has taken a political side, his father is noble and neutral. In actuality, though, the Marquis supports the Crown Prince. This way the family wins no matter which prince ultimately takes the throne! But Xia Dong now has evidence that will prove the Marquis supports the Crown Prince. So he tells his aghast son in law basically that he’s arranging to have Xia Dong killed before she gets back to court. WELP
Cut to nighttime at a brothel, yayyy. That’s a sarcastic yay. The subtitles say it’s called Red Sleeves Brothel but also showed subtitles for Heavenly Music House, so is the brothel near the music house or are they connected or what. I thiiiink they’re just near each other???? But in the Red Sleeves Brothel (I think) we find Yu’s strategist, that woman with the red eyeliner! She reads and then burns a note that apparently informed her of Duke of Qing’s situation. She admits she can do nothing for him now and wonders aloud what the Divine Talent could do. Is she jealous? I think she is, a bit.
Cut to what is probably the next day, and Jing Rui meets with his Marquis dad who apparently summoned him. The Marquis inquires about how Mei Chang Su is doing and exhorts Jing Rui to keep looking after him well. Jing Rui says he will, but also that Su is looking into moving out into a house of his own. He looks so sad when he says this, awwwww, no. Don’t feel bad, Jing Rui! The Marquis meanwhile looks alarmed. He tells Jing Rui to keep him updated on if Su needs anything.
Cut to Jing Rui and Yu Jin hanging out at a riverbank, where Jing Rui looks like he’s kind of sulky and moody but more importantly HIS HAIR IS DOWN. I like loose-hair Jing Rui! Anyway, Yu Jin asks him why they’re there. Jing Rui says he just wanted to get out of the capitol; after his time away it seems so stifling, and everyone has changed, poor boy. He says he feels like both his father and Su have changed. Yu Jin says but your father was always like that! and Jing Rui shakes his head with the saddest pensive pout, I feel so bad. He doesn’t even know. DONT LET HIM FIND OUT SHOW DONT DO IT PLEEEEASE.
Yu Jin just shrugs and says that, to be fair, Mei Chang Su was always unfathomable, and he could tell Su never really considered them to be real friends of his. Jing Rui says nothing but his whole expression says BUT I WANT TO BE HIS REAL FRIEND THO.
(Jing Rui is wearing THE prettiest dark blue and silver outfit, btw. It’s very House Fingolfin. I love it.)
Jing Rui just looks sadder and sadder so Yu Jin switches gears and starts trying to cheer him up, suggesting a visit to the Heavenly Music House (some names are dropped so I’m guessing they’ll be important but I don’t care enough to remember them yet) and a nice boat outing and stuff, and see, Jing Rui, you already have a best friend in Yu Jin. Just be happy with that, don’t worry about Su! Yu Jin’s cajoling works and Jing Rui does cheer up, and they go back to their horses. But then they are startled when a Mysterious Cloaked Figure emerges from behind a tree!
I recognize her instantly: it’s Xia Dong. She’s missing her horse though, which can’t be a good sign.
Now we go back to Prince Yu, where the Duke of Qing is pleading for help. Yu has no more help to give, though, the Duke is done for at this point. Also Yu keeps punching himself in the face because he’s so frustrated and, like, more of this please I’m living. Yu says he needs to find out who escorted the old couple accusing the Duke (remember earlier the Marquis said it was his people I think, the son-in-law and his pugilist dad?) because he’s freaking out that the Crown Prince seemingly has secret pugilist allies.
Also Yu throws a fit here, an actual finger-wagging, mimicking-the-Duke’s-voice sort of fit, and it’s the best. He wants to know where Xia Dong, the investigator who knows too much, is.
Well, she’s with Jing Rui and Yu Jin at the river, that’s where. She calls Yu Jin over and he is hilariously frightened of her (apparently because she was his mega-harsh martial arts teacher when he was tiny) but he does approach, and she pretends to be bullying him but it’s just a cover so she can get close and whisper for him to help her back to the main road. Once he’s close he notices there’s blood running down her hand. Ohhhhh dear. She tells him to relax and pretend nothing is wrong.
To his credit, Yu Jin does this very well, no hesitation. He’s very sunny but he isn’t a fool; I love how he is always very capable, even if he enjoys larking. Jing Rui notices something must be wrong as they approach, and he also switches into serious mode, grabbing his sword as he rushes over. As long as I don’t fall over they won’t dare to come out, whispers Xia Dong, which is one of THE coolest lines ever given to a female character, I love itttt. She says there’s men hiding in the woods.
Soon enough, those men attack anyway! Can I just say all the shots of them sliding down the trees were great, btw, that looks like so much fun. Jing Rui tells Yu Jin to run ahead with the wounded Xia Dong and then proceeds to take out like twenty guys all by himself I love him so muchhhh. (Sidenote: I love all the shots of our boys hurrying through the tall grass while carrying the skirts of their robes, it’s so funny ok but also relatable) There’s a cool Jing Rui’s sword POV shot at some point and yeah the whole fight is majorly fun. This actor’s swordfighting is A++++ aesthetic.
Some assassins do surround Yu Jin and Xia Dong despite Jing Rui’s heroics, but our heroes fend them off unarmed, and they’re also awesome. Major props to whoever did Yu Jin’s series of backflips in all those heavy robes, goshdangggg. That was impressive. Also Xia Dong gets a blade and starts just DESTROYING all the assassins, what a fantastic woman. I also am beginning to suspect she wasn’t QUITE as injured as she was making out. My suspicious are confirmed when she fakes being weakened and hurting to lure out the leader of the assassins, who she then easily takes down. Then she casually PUNCHES THE POISON CAPSULE TOOTH OUT OF HIS MOUTH I love her so muchhhhhh
Good pure Jing Rui is a bit distressed by this, but Yu Jin tells him to just let her be. I think he is still scared of her. Xia Dong asks the assassin who sent him to kill her. His response? Prince Yu.
Annnd end episode! Is it really Prince Yu who sent the assassins? I don’t think so, because he told the Duke he could do nothing more for him AND that he didn’t know where Xia Dong was. Meanwhile, we know the Marquis was sending an ambush. The Prince Yu answer is probably just a coverup to misdirect. Does that mean Jing Rui just killed like a score of his dad’s own men? Oh, dear.
This is maybe my favourite episode since episode two! Fast-paced, no longer tied up with the Ni Huang marriage subplot, the story’s focus is now reverting more and more to Jing and I’m so here for that. Plus the story just keeps getting deeper and deeper, adding new levels to everyone’s motivations and relationships and oh it’s so good. It’s just so good. I’m so scared.
Also! Here (with permission) is a supersmart, superhelpful, and superhilarious graphic for this episode made by glimmeroo! It’s great and you should check out their work. I’ll try to keep linking to their graphics in each recap post I make from now on, as we are both recapping episodes just in different formats, so I think our posts compliment each other nicely ^_^
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shaddy-bee · 6 years
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I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-
5 things you’ll find in my bag
Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.
5 things you’ll find in my bedroom
A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.
5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life
Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.
5 things on my to do list
FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))
5 things that make me happy
Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.
5 things I’m (currently) into
Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.
5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)
I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 
Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.
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bluebeetle · 7 years
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WAS TAGGED BY: @bakusuki​ :0
TAGGING: im not tagging 20 lol but: @transgirlagenttexas​ @topazinc​ @kujohat​ @kidnap​ @skybean​ @paarsetulpen​ @ceili88​ @lizardgays​ @luruar​ @marquise-spinneret​ @s-fellows-art​ 
yall dont have to do it tho if you dont want. 
RULES: ANSWER THESE 85 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE
THE LAST
1. DRINK: Orange juice cuz we havent gotten groceries in awhile and ive consumed all like 5 bottles of apple juice so its all thats left ghfhghf 2. PHONE CALL: my grandma  3. TEXT MESSAGE: My coworker  4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: technically that new taylor swift song but that was to mock the music video, for real listening was Starboy by the Weeknd.  5. TIME YOU CRIED: possibly last night i dont remember. recently. 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: >implying i date. (no) 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: nope 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: no 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: lol yeah  10. BEEN DEPRESSED: yes. today. 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: no i avoid alcohol bc anxiety of getting addicted lmao
3 FAVOURITE COLOURS
12. pale green 13. pale pink. 14. burgundy 
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU
15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: probably??? yeah i think so! some cool people at work and mutuals on here. not close friends or anything but its a start. 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: nah son 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: yeah doesnt help i cry easily. 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: my friend’s GF trashtalks me at work. shes coworkers with my older brother AND my mother :) 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: id like to think so! 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: to an extent yeah.....i guess. 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: nah
GENERAL
22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: all but one! theyre mostly friends, school friends, family, or friends from conventions except Connor who ive known for 7 years but never met irl yet. i send him a letter when i can tho!! 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: ive got two cats, maddy and maya, and id die for em 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: sometimes. people spell it wrong all the time, even my own dad does tht,  and its associated with a celeberity and a Type of Cliche basically lol. i was almost named Zoe its a cute name. 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: study for university exams lol. went out for dinner with family prior to that. my friend got me pokemon black and black 2 tho so dont worry.  26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 10 or 11? i couldnt sleep last night. 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: trying to sleep, failing, and reading JJBA fanfics. 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: for my shirts i ordered online to finally come in this week!!!! or for the new pokemon game 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: a half hour ago when she went o bed 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW:  coco jambo - mr president, and hold onto your heart - Man Man (kinda going back and forth as each ends ghghf) 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: ummmmm probably but i dont remember. 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: why ive been so Anxious and shit lately, family needing to be LOUD all the time. 34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: tumblr, youtube, pokefarm. 35. HAIR COLOUR: medium brown 36. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long? it goes passed my shoulders but i need to get it cut.  37. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE:  maybe?? still trying to figure some shit out. 38. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: my eyes a cute girl liked them once, my face in general in good photos lol, my hips, my hair, my moles 39. PIERCINGS: none im awful with pain. 40. BLOOD TYPE: no idea. i do blood tests for a chronic illness i have but never bothered to ask 41. NICKNAME: britt 42. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single. 43. ZODIAC: ares 44. PRONOUNS: she/her, they/them 45. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: bnha, justice league cartoon, daredevil if that counts 46. TATTOOS: none yet 47. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right. 48. SURGERY: dental surgery but thats it.  50. SPORT: not a sport person. best i can do is sprinting and even then :// 51. VACATION: id love to return to london, paris, and rome or go to japan!!! 52. PAIR OF TRAINERS: i assume something to do with shoes um... idk i have a pair of pink ones but i mostly wear the red ones i hve. i usually get bright colours so people can find me. 
MORE GENERAL
53. EATING: yogurt 54. DRINKING: nothing 55. I’M ABOUT TO: go to bed 56. WAITING FOR: jjba part 5 to be announced, school to start, work hours to start 57. WANT: to be able to sleep at night thanks... to do well in school 58. GET MARRIED: at some point, thatd be nice yeah..... 59. CAREER: something in the science field, with chemistry or biology. 60. HUGS OR KISSES: both r good but im more of a hug person. Its Warm. 61. LIPS OR EYES: hmmmm eyes theyre pretty and cute. fun to draw. 62. SHORTER OR TALLER: i dont rly care tbh 63. OLDER OR YOUNGER: prefer close to my age but probably a lil younger bc ill feel less intimidated lol (but like, not a minor) 64. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: TUMMIES!!!!!! 65. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship. 66. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: hesitant. blame anxiety. sometimes impulsive tho.
HAVE YOU EVER:
67. KISSED A STRANGER: no. 68. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: no.. 69. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: oh god yes.  70. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: kinda..... in a bad way.  71. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: no. 72. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: maybe? 73. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: yeah.
74. BEEN ARRESTED: no. 75. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes, recently. 76. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: yeah. 
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
77. YOURSELF: jguhghhg maybe. sometimes.  78. MIRACLES: yes 79. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: no. infatuation maybe, but real love takes time. 80. SANTA CLAUS: im not 8.
81. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: eh each to their own. i dont care??? sure i guess.
82. ANGELS: no.
OTHER:
84. EYE COLOUR: green 85. FAVOURITE MOVIE: how to train your dragon, definitely.
2 notes · View notes
blushoseoks · 7 years
Text
HANGING BY A MOMENT
His favorite things are the summers, because that's when you return from boarding school, and his life becomes a lot more bright and a lot less dull.
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“friendship can be an excuse. a cover for when there’s something there you don’t want to admit or you’re too scared to explore.” - gossip girl
pairing: park jimin x reader  words: 8,653 genre: skinny!love,   warnings: mature themes, slight angst before: alright, so please keep in mind that this is the first oneshot I have ever written, therefore please don’t be too harsh on me. I hope I get better in time. I received two Jimin requests and decided to combine them both into one. any who, I hope this is somewhat tolerable! I apologize in advance.
Jimin's not sure when it began.
As he watches you dance with a very inebriated yet still somehow skillful Hoseok, who insists on being a little too touchy with you (at least in Jimin's opinion) it's all that seems to cross his mind.
That, and the thought of how badly he wants to remove Hoseok from the current situation and instead replace the older with himself.
You both are dancing to the slower version of one of your favorite songs, one that's permanently etched in Jimin's mind because of your refusal to listen to anything else but the damn song the entire summer break of last year.
“Pilgrims,” by Johnny Lloyd is what's playing from the beaten up stereo Taehyung insists still works, even though the voice comes out stat-icky and very much muffled. And as Johnny repeats the verse of, “It's late, and I know, I'll never love somebody like you.” You and Hoseok point both of your pointer fingers in each others general direction, a wide smile curving upwards at the corners of your lips as a laugh erupts from your throat.
Jimin can't tell if you've had anything to drink or not, because even in your normal state you're always this outgoing, always this charismatic. And he can't quite tell if it's the moonlight causing your skin to glow, or if it's just you in general.
He wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter, though, because in his mind you're just that ethereal.
Hoseok takes your hand in his much larger one, lifts his arm upwards and waits for you to twirl under. Which you do a few times, before Hoseok pulls you into a very close and tight embrace, your back to his front, his chin nuzzled in the crook of your neck.
And little do you know that the small action makes Jimin's heart feel like it's being grabbed and squeezed until it turns into nothing but little tiny pieces.
You're not dressed up, but Jimin still thinks you look beautiful.
You're wearing a tshirt, one too large, the hem ending a few inches before it reaches your kneecaps. Large hoop earrings piercing through one of the sets of holes in your ear, and your black hair is pulled up into an effortless pony tail, your makeup is scarce, and your black boots are long enough to surpass your knees and reach the hem of your shirt.
You, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok, and Seokjin are once again at the only place in the entire town that isn't infested with kid's, the only place in town besides boring house parties, and too expensive movies, that is a source of entertainment for the teens who live in Busan.
The rest of your friend group consisting of: Jungkook, Namjoon, and Yoongi, were far too busy to make it to your guy's regular Saturday night tradition that dwelt of: going to the cliffs that were named KINGSLEIGH'S, listening to music, drinking and occasionally smoking pot, depending whether or not Taehyung had come into possession of some weed. And much to Jimin's disappointment he just so happened to not on this particular night. Leaving Jimin with no choice but to drown his sorrows in a bottle of beer, when he'd much rather prefer weed. He disliked alcohol, but hell if he was going to watch Hoseok and you dance sober.
Jimin really isn't sure when it began, the unmistakable feelings he has for you. He would like to classify them as a small crush, but the said feelings had yet to disappear and it had been more than one summer since they developed. Now, that he thinks it through it wouldn't surprise him to find out that he's had the littlest bit of a crush on you since the day his eyes landed on perfection personified in human form going by your name.
He remembers it clearly, seeing you for the first time. It almost took him by surprise when Taehyung had told him that he had a sister, if it wasn't for the pictures of you framed in family photographs, or the yearly ones taken and sent to the family, then he wouldn't have believed it.
“Mom says you can't stay long tonight, since my sister is arriving home today, but you should be good to come back tomorrow or sometime.” Taehyung had stated, and all Jimin had done was nod his head in understanding.
It was seconds after he left the house, when you arrived home for the summer. He had just walked out of the front door, when a car he instantly recognized as Taehyung's father's pulled up in front of the house. The dark red color of the 1989 cadillac surely would have been able to keep his attention, like it did any other time, if it wasn't for the girl that got out of the passenger's side door moments later.
He's pretty sure his heart had skipped a beat when you had stepped out. You had been in the midst of flipping your medium length styled hair back and out of your face as you shut the door. Wearing a 70's themed white eyelet lace top, and a pair of light blue shorts that settled over your hips nicely.
You were fifteen, sun-kissed nicely with a nice tan ontop of already gleaming olive skin. You were shorter than what Jimin had expected, though he seemed to be a full foot or two taller than you, which pleased him a great amount.
He remembers that when your bold dark eyes had settled on his, that he had decided then and there that your pictures absolutely did not do you justice.
Because you were absolutely beautiful, and no matter how hard a professional photographer would try, pixels could not compare to the real thing.
He had stopped in place, a stunned feeling washing over his body, stuck in the middle of the sidewalk between your house and the impressive car.
And to his utmost surprise, and perhaps horror, you had sauntered right up to him, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, sticking a hand out towards him, while the other carried a medium sized box.
“Hi,” you had said in a sweet melodious voice. “I'm Y/N. Are you one of Taehyung's friend's?”
Three years had passed since that day. You both were three years older. Both three years wiser, three years more mature, but you had only grown more beautiful and further out of Jimins league.
But three years, and rarely was it that Jimin ever got to see you, considering your parents forced you to attend a boarding school four hours away. And even though Jimin had known you for three years, he still didn't know why you were forced to leave every year while Taehyung attended public school here in Busan.
And even though you only spent a numbered time together you two had grown fairly close.
“If looks could kill, Hoseok would be dead twenty times over.” A voice Jimin recognizes far too easily says from beside him. He's sitting on a nearby rock, eyes peeled to you and Hoseok who are now rocking slowly to a different song he can't quite decipher.
“Go away Jin.” Jimin says, not bothering to look in Seokjin's direction, but Jin's words do sort of make him realize how openly he had been staring, and worried that his cover may have been blown, he decides to glance to the left, taking in the sight of Taehyung sitting on the edge of the cliff, legs dangling over the edge. Every now and again he looks over his shoulders at the dancing pair, and lets out a laugh. A laugh that only screams I'm drunk so everything is fucking funny to me.
“Is that anyway to be speaking to the only person who knows your secret?” Jin says a moment later, voice nonchalant as he stands beside the rock Jimin is sitting on.
“It's not a secret,” Jimin lies easily, not taking enough time to think over his words before speaking them. Therefore they come out unbelievable. His hands encircle the base of the half empty beer bottle in his possession.
“Yeah, and I'm not craving to be balls deep in Namjoon right now.”
Jimin looks up and to Seokjin, a bewildered expression crossing over his features at the words his friend has just spoken.
“Both are complete and utter fucking lies.” Jin finishes with a crude smile sliding up his lips.
“Too much information-”
“When do you plan on telling her?”” Jin interrupts his sentence, catching him completely off guard.
Jimin glances to the watch on Seokjin's wrist. “Oh, so it's eleven? Then in about never.”
Jin's lips pull into a thin line, eyebrows moving to pull together.
“Nothing will change if you stay silent. You won't be together if you never tell her.”
And perhaps Jin has a point, actually Jimin absolutely knows that Jin has a point, and even though he doesn't want to admit it, Jin is right.
But Jimin had decided awhile back that coming clean to you, with his feelings, was just something he wouldn't do.
“And what's the point of admitting my feelings, Jin? So Taehyung can sucker punch me in my face? So, if the odds are in my favor and she actually does reciprocate my feelings, which she doesnt, then to try for a long-distance relationship just to discover that it won't work out? That'll be more painful than what it's worth. I won't put her through that. Absolutely not.”
For a moment Jin is silent, but the look settled on his face makes Jimin think for a split second that he is going to hit him.
“First of all, Taehyung wouldn't do that. You are, afterall, his bestfriend. It's obvious, so don't try to deny it. Plus you're the least promiscuous of us all, the one with the most genuine heart. And as for a relationship – I don't know, neither do you, you can't be sure about what will occur so trying to guess is absolutely pointless and you know it. And here's the facts: if you don't do anything, then nothing will happen, Jimin.”
Jimin isnt so sure about what to say, so instead he stays silent. Pink lips pursing together as he thinks over Jin's words. Letting them drift through the night air and soak into his brain.
He wanted to tell you.
He really did. If not in hopes that you did feel the same way and that these feelings weren't one sided, then solely for the fact of getting it off of his shoulders. He had thought up several ways of doing so, practiced in front of his mirror more times than he could remember, and had searched online for different ideas, but whenever it came down to it, he always chickened out.
“I still can't believe you dyed your hair, Chim.” Comes a voice too high pitched to be Jin's. Your sudden presence nearly causes Jimin to jump out of his skin, and when he turns to face you, it's with wide eyes, and a look of concern covering his face, fearing that you may have heard the conversation that occurred a mere few seconds ago.
Glancing over your face, Jimin feels lucky because you show no tell-tale signs of overhearing anything not meant for your ears.
And as your eyes meet his he swears all the alcohol flowing through his veins drains right then and there, because he feels stone cold sober.
Jimin stays silent and still as you outstretch an arm and press the palm of your hand in his freshly dyed locks. Your fingers curling around the different strands as you run the tips through the silk like feel of his hair. He refrains from closing his eyes and tilting into the touch, afraid of what it may cause you to do or think.
So instead he keeps a steady smile on his lips, and his eyes peeled to yours.
You're standing a few feet away from Jimin, but he can still smell the fragrance of whatever fruity perfume you've applied. Can still see the shine of your lips, indicating that you've glossed them over with something cherry, because cherry things taste better Jimin! A winecooler is settled in one of your hands as the other shows no signs of leaving Jimin's hair anytime soon.
“I know, right? I wasn't expecting it either. Almost like he did it just for you.” Jin's voice says outloud, Jimin immediately tenses at his friend's banter, and though it appears to be just that, banter of good sorts, Jimin knows the ulterior motive behind his eldest friends words. He turns his head towards Jin, eyes locking with his and he raises an eyebrow, hoping to throw him a look that screams knock it the fuck off.
If you notice the strange behavior, you don't say.
Jimin then looks behind you, glancing at Hoseok who is now sitting beside Taehyung. Their conversation mute as they glance towards the water waiting below.
“Aw,” your sweet voice pulls him back. His eyes immediately meeting your own. “Did you dye your hair just for me, Chim?” You ask jokingly, and he swears he hears Jin snicker in the background. He was definitely going to get it later.
You watch as the corner of Jimin's plump lips lift upward into an award winning smile, one that's always been your favorite.
“Oh please, to do such a drastic thing means that you have to like the person you did it for, even just a little bit.” There's a playfulness you instantly recognize in his voice.
“Ass,” you say as you retract your hand from Jimin's hair, jutting your bottom lip outwards. You then turn to Jin, who has an amused expression written on his face. “Always knew you were my favorite.”
Seokjin really does laugh at that, and you don't get it because you didn't think that it was quite that funny, but with the lift of your eyebrows and a raise of your shoulders you shrug it off.
A moment after Jin's recollected himself his lips part as he asks you a question.
“So Y/N, how's boarding school?” He asks, nice voice filling the air.
Jimin watches your lips as they part, when you let out a sigh. You then lean your head backwards as a groan escapes your small mouth.
“Please, Jin, I know you're trying to be nice, but this is the only time I get away from that wretched prison they call a school. And when you ask me questions like that, you remind me of an estranged family member who isn't at all the least bit interested, but asks out of pure obligation.”
This extracts a laugh from both Jimin and Jin's mouths.
“That bad?” Jimin asks you a moment later, eyes suddenly full of pity.
“You've got no idea, Chim. It's horrible.” You say before stepping forward, and without asking for permission you take a seat on Jimin's legs.
For a moment you think you feel Jimin tense, which causes something inside of you to shift uncomfortably. You and Jimin had always been a bit touchy, but you were always touchy with everyone. It wasn't a big deal, at least not to you. You're about to question his odd behavior, but then the tension seems to leave his body.
Your legs dangle outwards, sitting on both of his legs sideways, your legs outstretching across the remainder of the rock.
“I'm serious. It's fucking horrible. I don't know if I can handle one more year there.” A sudden frown forming on your lips.
Jimin sets his now neglected beer bottle down somewhere he isn't sure, he raises a hand before extending a finger to the dimple on the right side of your cheek. The one that forms only when you frown, which is odd.
Your words entice a more solemn expression to stretch across Jin's face, his arm outstretching as his hand moves to press against your face, Jimin swears his heart skips a beat at the sight, with a glance towards Jin out of the corner his eye, he can see that Jin has done it on purpose, just to get a reaction out of Jimin.
He watches, keeping a grimace at bay with a bite of his tongue as you nuzzle your face into his hand. “M'sure this last year will just fly by, it'll be over before you know it.”
“Yeah, I don't know.” You lift your shoulders up into a slow shrug and Jimin wants to push on the matter more, but he decides against it, noticing your blunt responses towards the matter.
“Chim,” your voice sounds into the night a moment later. Your head turning up so your eyes can meet his. “Wanna go for a walk?”
Jimin hesitates, but his head nods in response. Waiting until you've stood up to do so himself, and with one last look thrown over his shoulder towards Seokjin, the smirk he's met with says it all.
Jimin likes it best when it's the just two of you. That way it feels more intimate. Not that you guys do anything that could be classified as something more than just friend's, but being alone in your presence makes him feel special.
Like he's somehow earned the privilege to bask in the existence of artwork before it's been finished. Because that's just what you are, a masterpiece that has yet to be complete.
Jimin doesn't think he's ever seen you look as beautiful as you do right now. You had let your hair out of the pony tail to sway in the gentle breeze, your dark brown eyes almost blending into the night sky. Your makeup is smudged around your eyes, and the smile on your face has him seeing stars. And no, it's not because they are infact shining in the sky.
Out of the corner of Jimin's eye he can see you shiver, the cool air starting to get to your exposed skin, causing it to goosebump. Your small hands moving to grasp either one of your forearms in attempt to keep warm.
It doesn't surprise you when Jimin quickly shucks off his leather jacket and offers it to you. For a moment you almost refuse it, but after thinking through it one more time, you know refusing it won't do you any good, so you thank him and then quickly pull it over your shoulders.
And it doesn't surprise you because Jimin has always been nice to you, has always treated you kindly, with the utmost respect.
When you were younger and Taehyung's friend's couldn't be bothered, it was Jimin who always made sure you didn't feel left out. It was Jimin who always listened and communicated with you, Jimin who always made you feel included. You're not sure why he had always been so kind, but you're thankful for him for it.
“You wanna know something?” You ask a moment later, not entirely knowing where the words that are about to venture from your mouth come from.
“Enlighten me.” He says, soft voice breaking out into the air gently.
You turn your head when he responds, eyes finding Jimin's, as a smile starts to tug at your pink tinted lips.
“I think you're starting to become my favorite reason to return home.”
You turn your head after you've stated that, you're not entirely sure why you do it. Perhaps, you're afraid that he'll somehow see under your skin and to your soul, discovering things that you have not yet been able to admit to yourself out loud. Things that you're not sure you'll ever be able to speak for the world to hear.
But it's because of your shyness, that you are unable to see the way that red slowly starts to fade over Jimin's cheeks.
You're close enough to the side of the cliff that you can look over the rocks and see the water rushing below, but you are not close enough to be considered in danger, and even if you were, there is no doubt in your mind that Jimin wouldn't do anything in his power to save you from a fall that would surely kill you.
The thought brings you warmth, just like the boy himself.
After a moment of silence, you decide to break it.
“I don't wanna go back Chim.”
Jimin hears you say, your voice soft but loud enough to be heard over the distinct sound of the waves rushing over rocks.
And before he can purse his lips together to keep his thoughts at bay, they are rushing out in form of words he wasn't expecting.
“Why do you go?” Jimin finds himself blurting out, a hand moving out from the pocket of his jeans to press over his mouth a second too late. A shock resembling electricity brushing through him once he realizes what he's asked.
Something that wasn't any of his business, something that he had no right to ask.
He watches as the smile on your face slowly starts to transition into not a frown, but a narrow line. It showing that you're clearly not too comfortable with this topic. In result, your hands grasp tighter around the sleeves of the bulky leather jacket you're wearing. Your dark eyes stay glued to the rocks beneath your feet as you finally allow your lips to part a small amount.
“It's not something I'm particularly proud of, if you couldn't tell. Most kids don't get sent to boarding school for no reason at-”
He interrupts quickly, not wanting to force you in the least bit.
“You don't have to tell me-” He goes to say, but with a shake of your head you silence him.
“I trust you.” Is what you say, finally lifting your head and turning so your eyes can reach his once again. “I know you Jimin, I know you won't judge me.” And then you let the corners of your lips lift up into a somewhat forced smile.
Jimin silently notes that it looks strange on your face.
“Well,” you breathe out. “Let's just say that I lost my virginity at fourteen.”
The sentence takes Jimin by surprise.
But not for the reason most would think.
Was that the sole reason for your parents sending you away? For forcing you to attend a school?
“Yeah,” you say a moment later, when Jimin doesn't respond. You tear your eyes away from his, now focusing on the view ahead.
“I know - it's a messy situation. But basically, my parent's found out and they freaked out. Immediately thought that I was going to get pregnant in highschool or become a sex addict or something, so they decided to pack up my bags and send me away rather than dealing with me. They decided to make me someone elses problem.”
Your footsteps tread lightly across black rocks, white teeth moving to push down into your bottom lip after you've released your best kept secret out into the open. Or at least what you thought was your best kept secret.
It's silent for a moment longer than you think is okay. This causing you to become just slightly uneasy. You knew that Jimin of all people would be the last to judge you, but your anxiety starts to raise despite the well known fact.
“Well.” Jimin says a moment later, taking a few seconds to absorb this new found information he had just discovered, the one word is enough to ease all traces of nerves starting to form in your being. Enough to calm the zoo in your stomach, to tame the bile in the bottom of your throat.
His next words, you don't expect.
“If you're a problem, then you're the prettiest problem I've ever seen.”
As soon as he had stated it, you had moved your eyes back to his, only to find his already primed for your gaze. Jimin wishes he could look away, but he can't, because staring into your eyes is something he'll never get tired of.
A few seconds pass before you offer him a warm smile, not quite knowing how to respond to such unexpected and kind words. Words that cause too many emotions to stir inside of you. And then, before you're forced to come up with some sort of retort, he's speaking again.
“So,” he says and the tone of which his voice sounds is a little off, like he's not entirely sure he should say what he wants to. So with a raise of your eyebrows you urge him to continue, eager yet nervous to find out what he's about to say.
“Was it just the one time, or did it happen -”
You cut him off quickly with a sound of a scoff. A cringe starting to overtake your facial features.
“You pervert, trying to get information to store away later for your wank bank.” You tease, nose scrunching up in playfulness.
“Oh my god, Y/N,” he rushes out, “It's not like that I promise.”
“I'm joking, you dweeb. But, to answer your question no. It wasn't just the one time, I've had sex multiple times with multiple people,” you tilt your head to the side before continuing, “which is why I'm pretty sure my parents keep me there.”
You let your arms dangle to your sides, and you swear you can feel the heat radiating from Jimin's hand.
“That's so unfair,” Jimin finds himself saying. “Taehyung has sex all of the time and—”
“Okay, gross. I definitely didn't need to know that.” You squeal, lifting a hand to rush through you medium cut hair, a chuckle escaping your lips as you do so.
“-- You know what I meant, you loser.” Jimin says, staring straight ahead, just like you. “It's just unfair that they send you away for the same thing they don't discipline Taehyung for. I mean, I bet Taehyung's fucked more people than you've kis-”
“That wouldn't necessarily be hard to beat.” You cut him off, your eyes scrunching a moment after you've admitted.
You turn your head towards him a second later, your eyes watching as his eyebrows furrow curiously. One of them cocking upwards as if to ask a question.
And then:
“When's the last time you were kissed?”
And to say that you didn't see this question coming, wouldn't be exactly true. Still, you tilt your head to the side as you try to pinpoint when the last time was. Raising a finger to press the tip of it to your chin as you do so.
You both have made it off of the rocks, and now are walking through the forest surrounding the cliffs, heading in the direction where Jimin's and Seokjin's cars are parked.
There is a track formed into the Earth, caused by a plethora amount of tires that have been driven through the forest. Something that started back way before any of you had even been thought of. To say the cliff's were a popular place for teenagers to hang out, would be a complete understatement.
“I can't exactly recall, but if I had to guess, probably,” you hesitate lifting a finger and then two as you speak, “a year, or two perhaps?”
Jimin's eyes widen in shock, your words causing him to stop abruptly. His sudden actions cause you to do the exact same, worried for a split second.
“Two years?” He asks in a voice that resembles bewilderment. “That's-- that's a long time – it's so hard to believe.”
You're not sure whether you should take that sentence as a compliment or an insult.
“Really?” You ask, your arms moving to cover over your chest. “And why's that?” You suddenly feel the need to defend yourself.
Jimin's eyes glance from the cross of your arms and to the expression he can't quite decrypt covering your face, causing him to suddenly become nervous. He hadn't meant to upset you, he had just truly been taken by surprise.
His head tilts downwards as he lifts a hand to the back of his neck, scratching the skin there – a habit he does when he's nervous.
“Well uh, because you're beautiful. And I religiously believe that beautiful people should often be kissed.”
His statement takes you by utter surprise, threatening to knock you over as soon as the words are spoken. Rarely had you ever been called beautiful, only by older men who tried to get into your pants, or by your family members, but by a friend – by Jimin, never.
You don't know how to react, so you stand there stunned for a few seconds, hoping to god that the heat rising to your cheeks can't be seen from where Jimin stands. You let his compliment slowly settle in your brain, letting your eyes stare directly at his face, which is still tilted downwards.
Luckily for you, he clears his throat, distinctly trying to change the subject, resuming the movements of his feet once again, causing you to do the same. Neither of you look at each other for awhile, both still trying to recover from Jimin's confession.
“Anyway, as for you going back,” he says, referring to the start of the topic. “You think you're the one who has it hard?” He questions into the air, letting himself stare at you from the corner of his eye, only to find that the start of his sentence has seemed to grasp your full attention.
“I'm the one that has to say goodbye to you every summer, Y/N. Have to watch you get on that train, and disappear for an entire year. It hurts.” He says it in a teasing tone, but you can't help but to wonder if there's a truth that lies beneath his words.
“Wow, you say that like you actually care about me.” You tease into the air, attempting to joke along.
In retaliation to your words he moves a hand from one of the pockets of his jeans and places it over his chest where his heart sits, his head shaking in a disapproving way.
“Y/N, you wound me. But frankly if you haven't pieced together how much I care about you by now, then you're not as smart as I thought you were.”
You let out a loud laugh at that, one that causes your head to tilt backwards, and Jimin swears that it's his new favorite sound.
“Careful,” you say as you recover, the smile on your face seeming to be too big for your lips. “If I didn't know you better, I'd say that you're starting to sound like you're in love with me or something.”
Jimin feels his blood run cold at the sound of those words venturing out from your lips. He halts suddenly, not being able to tear his eyes away from your back as you continue to walk ahead of him a few paces, completely oblivious to the fact that he's fallen behind. And though you've regathered your attention and settled it on the stars, your ears are still listening when he speaks his next sentence.
A sentence that you're definitely sure you weren't supposed to hear. – Not yet, at least.
“Would that be such a crime?”
A second after he's spoken those words, he curses himself. Hoping to himself that he had spoken them softly enough for you to be unable to hear. But you stop suddenly, and Jimin swears he feels the vomit rise in his throat.
He watches as your head turns over your shoulder, and Jimin stills. Afraid of what you will say.
You part your lips to speak.
“Wanna go somewhere?” You ask.
He lets out an inaudible sigh of relief, thinking that he had gotten lucky and that you hadn't heard.
And hell if he was going to refuse a chance at more alone time with you.
Whenever you're around, Jimin feels like he's hanging by a moment. It's been this way since as long as he can remember. From the first sentence you had ever spoken to him, to the most recent.
He feels like the only thing connecting him to the edge of the cliff that he feels likes he dangling off of, is just a tiny bit of thread. Thread that threatens to break at any given moment. 
He watches as you run through the wheat field the two of you have found yourself in, admires you as you giggle when the tips of the wheat tickle the skin of your thighs that remain unclothed. He swears he dives a little more into you when you turn your head over your shoulder with a wide grin stretched across your pink lips. A grin formed just for him to see.
You had both started in the car earlier that night, Jimin insisting on driving even though you put up a fight. Because rarely was it that you ever drove anywhere, and when were you given the chance? With a school that hardly ever went on any trips, and a strict rule that forbid any of the students from leaving the school ground's it was impossible. 
You had thought that him refusing to allow you to drive was because of his own selfish reasons, but in reality it was because Jimin liked the way you looked with the wind blowing back your hair while he drove down the highway.
Your skin had been glistening in the night light, one of your arms danging out of his car, while you let your hand surf the wind. Your head had been hanging out of the window, your face upwards so you could gaze at the stars as he drove. The entirety of the drive you had screamed out the lyrics to whatever song was playing on the radio, laughing while you had done so. And Jimin had struggled, had found it so incredibly difficult to focus on the road ahead, but with your safety on the line – it was enough to prompt him to keep his eyes where they were supposed to be. But, even then, it could not keep him from staring at you out of the corners of his eye.
Neither of you had bothered to reach out to the others or shoot anyone a text to let them know that you two had left. Figuring that they'd figure it out soon enough, that it would be obvious when the two of you hadn't returned.
When the two of you had reached Jimin's car, there was no set destination in either one of your minds. You had just gone where the roads had taken you, and that just so happened to be an old gravel road, where Jimin stopped his car by a great huge wheat field guarded by a barbwired fence, one that was just too easy to slide underneath.
And that's how you both had found yourself running through the tall strands of wheat, laughing as you had done so.
But soon enough you both had tired yourselves out, clearly not very athletic in the way you had shortened of energy so quickly.
Jimin was currently resting in the wheat field, laying down ontop of the Earth; his arms strewn underneath his head in an improvised pillow. You had taken it upon yourself to mimic his actions, copying him quickly and laying down beside him.
Two pair of eyes were staring up at the night sky, the stars twinkling beautifully above the two of you. Conversation had flowed between the two of you easily, ranging from arguments reflecting on The Backstreet Boys or Nsync, to discussion based on whether the two of you thought that aliens existed, to asking each other about the future.
You had responded with something about leaving. You had always wanted to travel, to escape the hell hole you were forced to live, and just be free. Jimin had asked if you'd take him along, and you had responded with a smile that caused his heart to jump in his chest and the words of If not you, then who?
When you had asked him the same question, a million thoughts ran wildly through his head, but the one that screamed louder than any of the others was:
I don't care, as long as I'm with you.
But he had bitten back the words, replaced them with a cliché answer of, I'm not sure. You had scoffed and rolled your eyes.
In the midst of your pointless discussions, Jimin's arm had circled around your shoulders and pulled you closer into his body, causing your head to rest easily against his chest. Your free arm moving to cascade effortlessly across the middle of his stomach, fingers curling into the side of his hip.
Neither of you had been quite this touchy before. And you couldn't blame the sudden bursts of affection on the alcohol in your body, because you both were sober, whether you wanted to admit it or not.
That's when Jimin's words start to repeat in your mind, like a cd stuck on replay.
You're beautiful.
Would it be such a crime?
You're beautiful. I religiously believe that beautiful people should be kissed often.
Would it be such a crime?
You find yourself silently wondering, and maybe perhaps hoping that Jimin had finally accepted the truth, had finally seen it for himself.
You shake the thoughts out of your head, raising an arm upwards to point towards a constellation in the sky.
“That's my favorite,” you state, eyes not leaving the stars. “Orion.”
It's silent for a moment, and you think you can feel eyes staring at you, but you don't look.
“Tell me the myth.” Jimin says, knowing that you want to.
You hesitate for a moment, white teeth moving down to press into the skin of your bottom lip. The story you were familiar with, could recite it as easily as your first name.
“It starts with the Goddess Artemis.” You begin, letting your arm fall back to your side. “They say that she could love with the heat of a thousand fires, but she also could be cold and unforgiving. She was the goddess of virginity, hunt, the forest and the moon.
They say that from the moment Orion's eyes laid on Artemis he had fallen in love, and the same could be said for her,” you once again, think you feel Jimin tense underneath your body, so in result you tilt your head towards him, only to find a smile placed upon his lips.
Your eyes find his before continuing.
 “Orion was a great hunter, much like Artemis, so that's where their friendship began, bonding over hunting.” You move your hand from across Jimin's stomach, uncurling your fingers from his hip and slide it along the fabric of his shirt, letting it rest gently against the material of his shirt when it reaches his chest.
“Now, Artemis had a twin brother named Apollo, a brother who was very protective over her to say the least – and when he heard that she – who was the goddess of virginity, had met and perhaps even fallen in love with a man, he had grown worried that his sister would break her vow.
Apollo had gone to the forest in hopes to find his sister, to find out if she was in fact still a virgin, and when he stumbled upon the two of them - Artemis and Orion, asleep and laying in each others arms, he had panicked and immediately assumed the worst.
Later that night, when Artemis had woken up from her nap, to find the night growing quickly, she had decided to go hunt, knowing that Orion would be hungry when he woke up. And when Orion awoke to see that Artemis wasn't by his side, he had decided to go to the river to swim, one of his favorite hobbies.
Apollo saw an opportunity and he chose to take it.”
You pause, letting out a breath. You then retract your hand from Jimin's torso and pull it back down to your side, your eyes still staying focused on his, and you're surprised to see that he is starting at you intently, looking very enraptured by your words.
“He had stumbled upon his sister and had lied to her, saying he had seen a giant stag by the river. The huntress, who had no luck killing anything that night, had hurriedly rushed to the river. Once there, Artemis could see something by the water, but it was too dark for her to notice that it wasn't a stag, but the man whom she loved.
Carefully she aimed her bow at Orion, and without a seconds worth of hesitation released an arrow. Afterward, she had swam across the river to claim her prey and when she stumbled upon the target she had hit, she became overwhelmed with grief.
She tried to bring him back to life, but his soul had left his body, it was too late. So while his body rested lifeless in her arms, she had decided to cast him up into the sky, so that he could live forever. So that she could see him for the rest of her days.”
You pause.
“They say she lost a piece of herself that night, when the love of her life died. And, I can only hope to experience a love that great one day.” You let out a breath afterwards, once again turning your head in the direction of the stars. “So yes, that's the story of Orion, and jesus, the stars are so beautiful.”
Jimin is silent for awhile. Not being able to remove his eyes from the top of your head, not being able to think about anything else but the only thing that matters to him in the universe: you.
You were his Artemis, without a doubt.
Jimin took a note in that moment, that watching you talk about something you enjoyed was one of his favorite things.  He was going to do it a lot more from now on.
The tips of Jimin's short fingers are cascading through your messy locks, and even though he is sure that the stars are in fact, beautiful. It is you who has captured his attention.
“Yeah,” Jimin states, a moment later, you not being able to feel his eyes as they stare directly at your face. “Very beautiful.”
Driving you home proves to be much harder than Jimin anticipated.
Driving you home proves to be much more eventful than what Jimin planned.
Because driving you home is when it happens.
You're belting out the lyrics to an ending song, and it's when a song Jimin doesn't recognize starts to play, and you turn towards him, a smile on your face, yelling out the words, “One of my favorites, an oldie but a goodie!” It's when the verse I'm falling even more in love with you plays into the car, that it happens.
And Jimin stops.
Quite literally.
He slams on the breaks, his car coming to a quick and abrupt stop right there in the middle of the empty highway.
His hand immediately reaches for the volume dial before switching the music all the way to low, eager to get the song to stop ringing in his ears.
You sit there in the passenger's seat, shocked into silence. Your eyes blinking slowly as your head turns to him, eyebrows uplifting. You wait a moment, hoping that he'll turn towards you, but when a moment passes and he doesn't, you start to worry your thoughts out loud.
“Jimin?” You ask, only to get no response.
“Jimin.”
Silence.
“Jimin?” you say, though it comes out in more of a question type form.
Your voice is soft and reminding Jimin of why – he stops suddenly.
Head turning to face yours.
“Oh my god.” He blurts out, taking you by surprise. Your eyebrows cocking upwards.
You watch in curiosity and perhaps even horror as he pushes open the driver's side door and practically jumps out of the car. Your eyes stay peeled on him as he walks to the front of the car, and you're able to see his figure as he starts to pace back and forth in front of the headlights.
You're scared, to say the least.
Unsure about what to do.
You had never seen Jimin like this.
You had no idea what was going on.
Slowly, you pull open your door, stepping out of it and not wasting anytime before mimicking his actions and walking to the front of the car. You decide to keep your distance, taking a seat on the hood, though your feet reach the pavement of the road.
“Jimin?” You question out a moment later, and your voice – it causes him to stop suddenly.
And it's there, when he glances upwards and see's your face, your beautiful face, that it fully registers in his mind. That's when it all clicks.
Park Jimin had just found himself in the middle of having an epiphany, and you had been there to witness it all.
You had been the sole purpose of it all.
Your voice had been soft and it had reminded Jimin of one of the many reasons of why he had fallen in love with you.
He had just for the first time, admitted it to himself.
He was in love with you.
The feelings he harbored for you – they could only be described as so.
They weren't a crush, couldn't be described as such - not when they were this intense, this real, this powerful.
He was in love with you.
And it's when he looks at you, and a slow but knowing smile starts to slide across his lips that you realize why he had been acting so strange.
Because he had finally figured it out.
Park Jimin was in love with you.
He thought you were beautiful and he was absolutely in love with you.
And immediately, he wants to tell you.
And immediately you want him to finally speak it out loud, you finally want to hear him say it.
So you wait.
Wait to hear the words that you've imagined a million different times.
His mouth aches to spill the secret he's kept from you for years.
A secret he hadn't known was so strong until a mere few seconds go.
But then the weight, the effects of his feelings finally hit him.
And he feels like his world is falling apart.
But he was in love with you, and for all he knew, you weren't in love with him.
So instead of telling you, he decides to do what he does best and swallow his feelings.
It's there in that moment, when his smile falters the least bit, and his eyes flicker to the ground that all the hope you had been feeling vanquishes.
And then:
“You know.”
He says after a moment. And he's unsure how he's able to speak when the feelings he's just struggled to swallow are trying their best to claw their way back up.
He then glaces down towards the watch on his wrist. And you can tell by the split second it takes for him to look at the time, that he wasn't even studying it, that it was just an excuse.
“It's getting late, we should probably get going.” He quickly says. “Your parents and brother will be getting worried.”
He offers you a fake smile, one so obvious it makes you cringe.
And then he turns away from you, heading for the driver's side of the car.
And then, in that moment you find yourself refusing to accept that this has just happened.
That you both had been on the brink of starting something so beautiful, but had fallen short due to fears.
And it's there in that moment that you decide that you are tired of waiting and that you won't do it any longer.
You find your brain spitting out words you don't even have time to register.
“Are you going to keep pretending, or are you going to come over here and kiss me?”
Jimin halts at the words that have just slipped past your lips, his eyes widening as his brain processes them. And he's met with a stunned feeling washing over every bit of emotion flowing through his body.
Had he heard you correctly?
It takes him a moment to recollect his thoughts, to register that you really did just say what you did before he's turning around, achingly slowly.
His eyes flicker over yours, searching for any sort of sign that you were indeed joking, that perhaps this was just a dream, that he hadn't just heard what he thought he had, that maybe he had imagined it.
He raises an eyebrow, staring at you, only to be met with a stoic expression and jesus such a beautiful face
“What--” he pauses, forcing the words out. “W-what did you just say-”
“I said,” you interrupt, growing a little impatient.
But you can't help but allow the smile to form on your lips.
“Are you going to keep pretending or are you going to come over here and kiss me, Jimin? If I'm not as delusional as I think I am, then you like me. And I'm tired of waiting, so are you going to keep pretending. And if so, for how long?” You pause, letting out a breath.
“And do you really not think I see the way you stare at me when you think you're being subtle? You stare at me with such an intensity that I can basically feel it. So, are you going to keep pretending Jimn or are you going to come over here and kiss me because I'm not sure how much longer I can wa-”
You're interrupted by a pair of lips that could only belong to the other person in the area.
You had been so focused on rambling that you hadn't noticed the change in Jimin's demeanor. The step he'd take toward you with every word spoken, the relieved expression falling over his features.
Your eyes close immediately on impact, the thought he had interrupted disappearing easily.
He kisses you.
Jimin's red colored lips are soft as they press into yours, and you've been kissed before, multiple times, but nobody has ever kissed you quite like this.
Like your lips are essential to living, like they are needed to continue life.
He kisses you gently, large hands moving to press into each one of your cheeks, pads of his thumbs rubbing slow circles into the skin of them.
He fucking kisses you.
He kisses you.
And it's like your heart finally lets out a sigh of relief.
Like every bone in your body screams, “About fucking time.”
Because you love Park Jimin.
You are pretty sure a part of you always had - from the first time you had seen him: brown hair, baggy pants, and gawking at you from your sidewalk.
You love Park Jimin, and you had been waiting four summers for this kiss.
You were in love with Park Jimin and he finally realized he loved you back.
And it's there, in that moment, with his lips pressing into yours while in the middle of an empty highway, the only lights illuminating the night coming from the headlights of Park Jimin's car, that you know that despite the inevitable year that awaits to tear you from each other, despite the brother who will most definitely be shocked but excited because now Jimin can become his brother for real, everything will work out.
Because after all.
You love Park Jimin.
And after years of falsely identifying his feelings as just a crush, he finally allowed himself to see the truth.  That he was in love with you. 
a/n: so that was that, and again I have to apologize because if it's as bad as I honestly think it was, then your eyes have probably fallen out of your head.  I'm not sure if I should even keep this here or not, oh my gosh. I had a friend read through it and she told me it was boring, which is why I’m not so sure about it.  also if there are any grammatical errors, or sentences that just don't make sense, I apologize, but I knew that if I read through it one more time then I wouldn't have posted it. but, despite this all, I hope it was somewhat enjoyable.  please feel free to let me know your thoughts and opinions! ♡ ps: when she is telling Jimin the myth of Orion and Artemis, the part that is italicized is not my writing.
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callonb · 7 years
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GYBurst of Inspiration/Motivation
Where does inspiration come from? - Snacks I recorded a song with Samuel Hawkins recently and that was the first line of his verse. Lately thats been on my mind more and more. Where does my inspiration come from and why cant I always bask in its motivational energies? Seems that my drive comes and goes with the moon phases or as planets enter and leave our orbit. Could be the skys dictating my moods and movements (which i think it does have an effect) or it could be the mass amount of coffee and tea i drink a day. Definitely important factors but not quite the source. My mom definitely motivates me, she believes in everything Im doing and helps every way that she can. Its not financially but sometimes emotional support is more important. Shouts out to Momma B you the realist. Same for my homies and not homies as in people i force myself to be around, cuz having friends is what you do. Actual family that i grew up with and have developed a relationship with, the GYB family. The ones who sat me down years ago and was like dude...... you need to take this rap shit seriously. The ones who are now getting more and more involved with the movement every day, pushing everything to the side and riding along with my dream and making them their own. Everyday the homies are pushing to help me create this vision for you guys as they've adopted it as their own. Like minds on the prize, Shouts out the Layer homies. That only seems to be half of it tho, and Ive never felt this type of fire burning inside me before so what is it? Magazine drama and BS doesn't motivate me, Music doesn't seem to hit me the same way anymore. I used to listen to music constantly, new rap definitely doesn't do it for me.....makes me feel lower. New tv shows dont do it for me im bored with most of the popular shows out. Same for games or just typical activities that people partake in. Partys, drugs, random hook ups...It all seems so blah to me and im completely uninterested. I learned I have to stop feeding my lower self and focus on my higher self and what that part of my being truly wants and thats to CREATE!!! Whenever im around an environment that drives me to create and push myself i perform better. So i guess i just realized what really inspires me, and thats a creative environment. Who is responsible for this? Well I saw the Rotunda Project last weekend at Maiden Alley, a collaborative piece by Fairseas. The Fairseas are a group of musicians named Jeran Simmons, Bobby Dowell, Codie Franklin and Shanden Simmons. I watched them plant this seed years ago and now its a giant tree that you can sit back and marvel in its greatness. The main theme of the film was collaborating with your community. I cant lie ive had many many thoughts of leaving my community to collaborate elsewhere but ive came to a realization recently that it isnt necessary. To my surprise and probably a lot of people around here, there is a bubbling hip hop scene around here that is about to explode. Ive started to invest my time and efforts into this scene now and received nothing but results. Shanden has been a major influence in my artistry because he is always honest, encouraging and persistent....three very important characteristics to have in a creative environment and on top of that has become one of what i would consider my best friends. I look at him as one of my GYBrothers. On to the hip hop scene around here tho..... mysterious person named "A" aka the Hollow Man and he is one of the most promising producers/writers around. His solo stuff is outstanding and the collaboration effort we are working on "A & B: The Empire" is next level. Its been well over a year in the making and will shock most people when they hear the new styles i bring to the tape compared to my previous work. A always challenges me to be very intelligent when I piece together my verses and I like that. He makes me want to grab a dictionary and start reading so I can match his extensive vocabulary.....and maybe I have done that lol. Im the ONLY artist that the mystery man works with at the moment and that hits me now in a way it never has before. Like why me, do I really have something in my music that would make this beyond talented artist spend his time and efforts to make beats for us to collab on and want to include me in everything he does? His beats are above any producer Ive ever heard even in the big leagues of the rap game its crazy but he will prolly have his own GYBlog entry about him eventually. I have to move on before i make this to long lol. Next is JSkrilla, I have met the Skrilla a few times in passing but i dont think we realized what each other really could offer the other. Until i ran into him at the damn ROTUNDA PROJECT.....back around full circle. After that we decided to get together. We showed each other some of our music. I didnt know he made dope beats as well as spit hot fucking fire but he does. We shared our philosophies for our craft and talked hip hop and all sorts of other randomness. Then we picked a beat and wrote a song on the spot. Bar for bar back and forth. J stressed to me it had been a LONG time since he had been able to just sit down and write with another emcee that wasnt intimidated by his ability to write on the spot, or to match his caliber of wordplay and rhyme schemes. To both mine and his delight I delivered. Skrilla really challenged me tho, most artist get so caught up in the main stream BS or conforming to certain concepts and topics in their verses that it had been a while since I had felt pressure when writing to make sure my bars are up to par. Felt good to feel that energy again i had been missing the want to become better and that leads me to the main cause of my motivation and my improvments or just overall attitude change whatever you want to call it. the TRYBE!!!! Snacks, B. James, and Waun D. are the Cerberus of this rap shit. I have a lot to owe to them. GYB and Trybe share the same values as far as what we hope to contribute to the culture of arts and musics and how we hope to impact the hip hop community as well as the communities we all live in. I have done one show with them and have multiple other ones lined up with them. As a matter a fact i cant see myself doing a show with anyone but them from here on out. Once again them as well as JSkrilla could have their own full length blog entry but i digress for the sake of your attention lol. The Trybe challenges me to be a better emcee by making me freestyle. Which if you have been around me doing music ive never been a good freestyler.....UNTIL NOW!!! They have cracked that shell and brought me out of it. Making me partake in their cyphers everytime we get together. Soon Ill be as smooth off the top as i am with the writtens then its over for everyone! Sharpening my skills is not something that other rappers really push you to do. Rap is very competitive and braggadocios so pushing someone to improve and possible be better than you is unheard of. The Trybe doesnt see it that way though, they want us all to grow together. With a shared love for hip hop and me and Snacks shared love for Anime we can talk for hours and hours before we realize we havent done any music lol. Everytime I hear a new Trybe song i feel my artistry being challenged. The message in their music makes me want to really focus on the concepts i present in my music and start challenging my self to pretty much step my game up. Between Skrilla, "A", and TrYbe, everything new I hear makes me question my latest bars which is exactly what I need. Hip Hop is my life and my love and above any amount of money i can potentially make off this art is the desire to be the best emcee to ever grab a mic and thats the same mindset i had when i originally picked up the pen and decided i would be a rapper. Before i saw 8 mile and realized that being a white rapper wasnt necessarily accepted, before all the laughs, all the hate and just general shade i received for my dreams. Being white in this game is a roadblock but for the first time these guys made me realize that i have overcame that hurdle 100 times over. I had a long talk with the Trybe last night and they gave me a boost of confidence that finally fully ignited that fire i had lit but tried to conceal. Im no longer worried about what is cool or what people want. I just want to create and you will more than likely like it because I do have skills that i myself had been sleeping on. I hear these artist like A, Skrilla, and Trybe and i felt underneath them but now i see my self as an equal. We all have different things we bring to the table that compliment each other and its time to put it all together and make it happen. Plus we all just fucking dope and there is no denying. This is my new goal. No more time wasted on what i "think" is the right move. Im going to follow what i KNOW to be the right path and follow my heart. Thats challenging myself with these artist and like minded individuals to always be better. Also as Snacks has said before "move at LIGHT SPEED" thats just what Ill do with my light brothers here. We like some damn warriors of this rap shit waging war against a evil corrupt entity but thats also for a whole separate entry lol But no war of this caliber is complete without a general so shoutout to SirDuke. Ive also recently became friends with this crazy dude and he has shown me in just the short time ive known him more love and support than some people ive known my whole life. He also inspires me because he has dedicated his life to serve and protect (literally) and most importantly LEAD. He has an army of pretty much every hood and every rapper in each of them just waiting for his call. and he is not leading them astray, Shoutout the Kollektiv. Duke is also a talented singer and emcee. He has a show with me tomorrow at the Hangover in Murray MAKE SURE YOU COME TO THAT AND SEE MY NEW ALBUM CONSCIOUS TRAP PERFORMED LIVE starting at 9pm. but yeah Duke is dope and I can appreciate his leadership skills and what he hopes to accomplish in his community by cleaning it up through music. He is rubbing off on my and motivating me to hold that same position with my Layer army of GYB homies ive assembled. Most of them are clueless about the industry and music so its up to me to guide and lead them so they can be their own selves and make it in this world without the middle man down your neck. Im going to wrap this up because it ended up being way longer than i intended but i wanted to also say to my fellow collaborators and friends above all. Wolf, Golden Wrist Banks, Trevell, Dope, Simple, Benji and Angel Mascato. You guys have MAD SKILLS. You guys inspire me too because I hear something different in your music than i hear from most. I want you all to continue to grow and expand your creativity to new levels. Tell YOUR story. The same story is constantly told but how will you tell YOURS in the true challenge. So i encourage you guys like i have been recently, step outside of the norm and do what you truly feel in your heart that you need to, fuck what everyone else wants from you just create the way you feel appropriate. A lot of you are working with Duke regularly and I think he will tell you the same thing I am now. Even if its certain people in your lives holding you back, they gotta go. Surround yourself with positive people that want to grow with you instead of out grow you and you will see the same results. Probably why you guys were all on my latest album, except Trevell im sorry and you should have been but you know the deal homie its all love. Frank.....dammit man just rap lol but anyways ill end it on this note. Getting in touch with that child like mind state and that pureness of love in my heart again. Losing all my intentions to want to be better and out do someone but rather COLLABORATE with like minds in my community has already in return pushed me forward in a lot of ways. Seems almost as if they had been waiting on me this whole time. Its certain that my actions are now speaking louder than my words and everyone is starting to catch on. including myself finally. If you read this far thank you and I love you. Youre more than likely part of the reason why i typed this or why i even continue to do what i do. I trust you guys just as much as you trust ill deliver. Have a great day, maybe you can draw inspiration from this or some of the same people or things that i do! So put down that magazine full of empty content and read something meaningful that you are interested in, turn off the news and watch some anime, stop playing shooter games and play final fantasy, stop eating out and prepare your own meals, dont listen to music just play instrumentals and freestlye every day or just make your own, quit scrolling on facebook and take a stroll around the block, only spend time with those that help you grow rather than keep you low. So much inspiration out there sometimes we just have to break away from what we are used to in order to pull from the experience. Now im really done. and excuse my poor grammer and probably a shit load of spelling errors. That wont ever change, these blog post are run on sentences of my thoughts that pass through my head every day. Sometimes i just take the time to jot them out as they pass. PEACE LOVE AND GYB!!
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i-amusemyself · 7 years
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All 100 Questions.
Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄
1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.
2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)
3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.
4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.
5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.
6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.
7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.
8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.
9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆
10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.
11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)
12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂
13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.
14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.
15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!
16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!
17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.
18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!
19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).
20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.
21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah
22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah
23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.
24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂
25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.
26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.
27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.
28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.
29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉
30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.
31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏
32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one
33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig
34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.
35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.
36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.
37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.
38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂
39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful
40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉
41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february
42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)
43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.
44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao
45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)
46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh
47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never
48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???
49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it
50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam
51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?
52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.
53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.
54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg
55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses
56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.
57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess
58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered
59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.
60. Are you in love?I wish
61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really
62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.
63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?
64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling
65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!
66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.
67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.
68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.
69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.
70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??
71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.
72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no
73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no
74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂
75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)
76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂
77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…
78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.
79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.
80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.
81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?
82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!
83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.
84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.
85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.
86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂
87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true
88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.
89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.
90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)
91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl
92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.
93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.
94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves
95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.
96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.
97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂
98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)
99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.
100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.
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semiconducting · 7 years
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okay so i wanna give my share of thoughts on wonder woman!!
spoilers under the cut lmao
alright so? holy shit first of all i absolutely loved it to death i was sitting there talking to my best friend who went to see it with me the entire time and just. screaming abt it honestly my mom told me to quiet down a couple of times lmao
so i suppose like it’s a very similar story to the 2009 animated film (though im sure this is kind of a staple plotline for wonder woman leaving themyscira and all, it’s been done a lot, it’s just a part of her story) except it was like. actually done well.
so to begin i really do love how they portrayed the amazons and themyscira, it was so beautiful and i loooove all the diverse women of all colours there. like it made my heart sing thank GOD. i do wish more of them had speaking roles, but i suppose i understand it being partially focused strictly on diana and her becoming a warrior or w/e between antiope’s encouragement and hippolyta’s dismay. but it would have been nice. i do wish to see more of the amazon mythos in films honestly because as entertaining as her adventures with the justice league and such are, i really want there to be more emphasize how crucial they are to who she is! she’s the child of the amazons my dude
also the island itself does remind me of living/touring in europe and i also really hope they based some of it off of turkish architecture? since themyscira is placed in turkey. but idk man.
the scenes with the germans coming to themyscira and how they portrayed the mirage/cloak/whatever was super cool, honestly. cheesy-ish but fun. i loved introducing steve and showing the amazons ready to fight. the bit with the first bullet killing one of them literally got a verbal reaction out of me and the battle was sooooo fucking COOL. as much as i hate war/brutal death scenes, just for my own reasons, it was quick and also just. really what it should have been.
antiope’s death really kinda pissed me off but i just am not a fan of death so early in a film to fuel a character idk. idk man. i guess i should’ve expected especially bc i recognized her tiara as the one diana wears so it. it was there.
i’m glad that she got a role, for sure, but ngl i thought she was supposed to be artemis at first and im kinda disappointed that artemis wasn’t. there. but i mean i love artemis so dsfjd
steve was genuinely good in this film. and i mean really, really good. i’ve never really liked steve trevor, a lot of the times because hes just a boring “charming” soldier (thinking dcau justice league) or a sexist, not-all-men type fucker (ww 2009) and just. ew. but in this film he was like, genuinely funny and sweet and really worth being the love interest. i love that he never took her naivety to take advantage of her, as simple a concept it sounds but it was something that made me smile especially because i just. tensed up at every opportunity that it could have happened. and it didn’t. bless.
the romance was so gradual, it wasn’t a priority, it didn’t take over the plot and the little bits were so cute and it was like? actually likable? holy shit
i REALLY loved doctor poison and god i wish she got so much more screentime than fucken. ludendorf? :/ but every scene with her was amazing i LOOOOVE her mask design and shit, i really wish we could’ve expanded more on her and i would soooo appreciate having just. extra scenes with more on her working/the experiments because that was SO fucked up and well done. a perfect placement for world war i, too, since chemical warfare a huge part of it and all
also i dig the wwi backdrop? wonder woman fighting in a world war is always something that i need in my wondy mythos, though i always figured it was world war ii because of the comics originating in that time period and whatnot.
it, however, was a great choice as a background for the grey-morality plotline, and showing that all sides of war are flawed. instead of world war ii, which, frankly, the nazis should and always should be seen as objectively bad from any standpoint, and standing against them is not.
but yes! grey-morality was very well done here and it’s great to pair with a newly-introduced-to-the-world wonder woman. like GOD i hate born-sexy-yesterday troped wonder woman because it is so so so easy to paint her that way, but just so wrong. she’s not stupid or clueless, and it bugs the hell out of me because it just. throws her as a man-hating violent “feminist” or w/e and just. hlfgh.
however they didnt do that here, while still keeping her naive to introduce that whole grey morality and choosing whats right for yourself, not because everyone is objectively good and one bad man can be stopped to save everyone. her innocence wasnt just because she was amazonian in “man’s world,” because she was shown to be naive and ideological with the amazons themselves as well. it made all the difference and settled one of my biggest fears for this movie
by the way! the clothes scenes and bits with etta were so cute! etta candy was ABSOLUTELY adorable and such a good part of the film, thank god.
also in general it was so pretty? the scenes were so well done and the cinematography was GORGEOUS especially the fight scenes. fuck man fight scenes are so good on the eyes. the choreography was great, i digged the occasional cartoony punch-drop bit? im sure theres a name for the trope but idk how to describe it. also i know so many people have issues with the slo-mo but honestly it didn’t bother me at all, it didn’t feel cheesy to me and i actually thought they did wonderfully by timing it right to place such good emphasis on it? also all the flips and take downs and fUCK man im jsut. oooo i cant wait to watch that again.
also the jumping on shields/that shingle the boys were holding up for her? good fuckin. fuck. AAAAAAAAAA
and goodness diana was so cute. her gasping and going “a babyyyy!!” made me smile oomg. and the ice cream bit. i love the wonder woman ice cream bit she’s so fucking cute. mhm. i love her constant protesting and not quieting the fuck down when steve was trying to reason with her, like she just. it’s so refreshing to see, yknow? and always proving everyone wrong and choosing to save everyone when she’s told she can’t. goooooood that’s a wonder woman i love.
her saving the village and all the celebration was adorable too. but it made the death all the more heartbreaking and just. :(
i’m so glad they made diana a bringer of peace, because any war-mongering wonder woman just isnt her in my books. like i dont mind her not having a no-kill rule? it is necessary sometimes. but she won’t perpetuate an unnecessary fight. war must be stopped. all that. yeah.
which brings me to ares. i feel like the plot twist could’ve brought more hints, because there was no indication that the peace-brokering brit should’ve been the god of war. it kinda made me just. :/ it was pretty clear ludendorf wasnt gonna be him, but i didnt like whatshisface to be ares. sure i dont mind the whole, he inspires war but doesnt control it i suppose, but to literally be a peace-advocate? kinda defeats his purpose imo.
also good guy zeus. lmfao. anyway
speaking of zeus fuck did i not enjoy diana ~ACTUALLY BEING THE DAUGHTER OF ZEUS~ i was afraid it would come and i was so sad to see them take being molded from clay away from her. it made me roll my eyes. stop doing this to her tbh let her not have a ~manly~ influence, tbh? like i just read someone else’s review that mentioned a better take would’ve been to make her an incarnate of athena and like. yeah? yeah. no look i want my wonder woman completely originating free of any man’s influence.
oo and also. the guys she ran around with. idk what to call them but sameer the chief and charlie. they were absolutely adorable, honestly? they were well rounded, enjoyable characters with depth and i appreciate them being flawed. best sidekicks she could have for this movie, tbh. i really REALLY enjoyed sameer being there, because shit! not a total translation but any bit of representation of a race similar to mine is greatly appreciated. also the over-exaggerated stereotype when they were sneaking into the party? great. loved it. made me laugh so hard. 
also they were REALLY daring with recognizing the whole, fuckin, white man taking from the native americans shit? damn. that was unexpected but appreciated. 
and charlie was cute, the whole singing part was so sweet a bit of his character and i love how they portrayed his ptsd. it’s ugly, it’s not poetic or anything, it’s very realistic and i love what they did with it.
also the music was absolutely beautiful and i lost my mind every time wonder woman’s theme came up. dude. good shit.
anyway i’ve run out of steam and coherence but it was a fantastic movie, 9.5/10, i definitely recommend going to watch it. it was such a satisfying way to finally place her on the big screen and just incredibly well done. bravo to everyone who was involved.
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hotshotshitshow · 7 years
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you ever chuggin along on a drawing and its turning out pretty well and youre feeling pretty good about it and then halfway through the coloring process you realize you did the exact same pose as the last character ref you did (quoia) without even thinking about it and its really really stupid but suddenly thats all you can focus on and you feel like an uncreative loser 
anyway this is maude bentley one of my older ocs and i want to marry her
ive never done a proper character profile for her because i made her before i really started focusing hardcore on original characters so its about damn time
Basic Information
Full Name: Maude Bentley Nicknames/Aliases:  Titles: she has a shiny little plaque on her desk that reads “The One And Only Satan”  Age: 24 at the time of her death, true age is Big Time Gender: lady Orientation: polyamorous bisexual Species: was once a human, but now is a satan Birthday:  Occupation: she is responsible for all the afterlife goings-on for those who subscribe to the belief that satan and jesus are real but only deals with those who were not entirely Wholesome and Family Friendly during their lifetime  Powers: shapeshifting, selective omnipresence and omniscience, nearly (but not completely) immortal, and many other neat things that come with the package of being satan that i cant think of right now Living Family: boyd bentley Hometown: Current Residence: 
Physical Characteristics Height: ~6′2 Hair: brunette, wavy. uncared for and usually pretty dirty. somewhat frizzy and has split ends. almost always tied back. Eyes: brown Body Type: very very thin, looks unhealthy. very bony Distinguishing Marks:  Left or Right-Handed:  Quirks/Habits: fidgety, will likely tap her fingers or feet if having to sit still somewhere
Medical Information Addictions:  Aids/Augmentations:  Allergies: Conditions: Physical Abnormalities:  Blood Type: Mental Illnesses: depression Other Notes: None
Mental/Personality Attributes Known Languages: all of em Positive Traits: funny/able to find something fun almost anywhere, maternal, assertive/will not allow herself to be taken advantage of, easygoing with most things, incredibly reliable and trustworthy if youre very close to her, extremely just Negative Traits: difficult to read, doesnt take a lot of things very outwardly seriously, takes a very very long time to trust someone, annoying, intentionally confusing, disingenuous with most Optimist, Pessimist, or Realist: realist Introvert or Extrovert: introvert but is often mistaken as an extrovert Fears: never being able to love or give love, never being a mother, being negligent when it counts, never becoming a better person
Likes/Dislikes General Likes: trying to see how far she can take a joke, seeing if she can get others to do her job for her (its mostly basira she picks on), seeing people get whats coming to them, screwing with people, kids, gardening, music and getting together with a lot of people and having a good night dancing General Dislikes: being out of her element with having to be fancy or presentable, injustice, cruelty and mistreatment towards children Favorite… Animal: goats but mostly because shes very goaty herself and she thinks its funny Color: brown Food: root vegetables Music Genre: bluegrass, soul, gothic country Season: any season tbh
Relationships Best Friend(s): basira, porsche, boyd Other Friends: Acquaintances: Significant Other(s): basira, porsche Rivals: Enemies: Pets:
Other/Trivia Meaning of Name: strength in battle. Religion: Astrological Zodiac: Chinese Zodiac: Celtic Zodiac: Element: MBTI Type: Hogwarts House:
was originally a pokemon oc. she was my league champion and her whole thing was to be as unassuming and not flashy as possible in order to trick opponents into not taking her very seriously before she beat their shit in. after repurposing her into this new universe and making her satan, this still very much is a thing for her
arguably not a bad or malicious person. just she's got a job to do. doesnt mean she cant have some fun once in a while suckering some poor saps out of their souls
enjoys making light out of most situations, but has a habit of taking it too far and not knowing when to stop. could stand to take more things a little more seriously.
is not concerned with her appearance whatsoever. in fact, one of the best ways to make her legitimately uncomfortable is to try to dress her up or put her into fancy scenarios where she is 100% out of her element
her charahub page has a lot more info on her 
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original-violence · 7 years
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It took me 2 days to do this. Christ.
RUDE.
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. History’s Stranglers - The Bronx Sun/Rise/Light/Flies - Kasabian Promenade - Street Sweeper Social Club Fistful of Steel - Rage Against The Machine WW III - KMFDM Que No Te Hagas Bobo Jacobo - Molotov
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Probably flea or Anthony Kiedis
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. ‘As a creative thinker I think he’s brilliant and i feel very lucky to have got to meet him’
4) What do you think about most? Work/My anxiety/Food.. probably just a general mix of those things.
5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Dont fink so. Unless stuff i has written about myself counts.
6) Do you have any strange phobias? Not anything strange, just like.. spiders n stuff.
7) What's your religion? Agnostic i guess.
8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Going to/from work or to/from getting food somewhere. I have an exciting life.
9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Red Hot Chili Peppers, always.
10) What was the last lie you told? ‘Nah im good’ (someone at work who is bad at making tea offered to make me a tea, i was appreciative but they’re real bad.)
11) Do you believe in karma? I mean, it would be nice for such a ‘force’ like that to exist, but it really doesn’t and it’s a shame.
12) What does your URL mean? It’s a lyric from a Slipknot song.
13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Weakness: Probably my anxiety, it makes me unreasonably stressed at most times in my life and it makes everything very difficult. My strength is probably my desire to prove myself to literally everyone around me, it makes me work really really hard at everything i do.
14) Who is your celebrity crush? Hmmmmm Alison Brie at the moment.
15) How do you vent your anger? I don’t really get angry to be honest, when i do i just keep it at a level that i can deal with inside before acting on it.
16) Do you have a collection of anything? Mmmmmmmmnope, i have more than 100 video games, i guess that counts as a collection.
17) Are you happy with the person you've become? I will be. Im slowly getting there, there are just a couple more things left to sort out.
18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate most sounds that wake me up. Aaaand i love the sound of rain when against windows/umbrellas
19) What's your biggest "what if"? What if i would have stuck it out when i was at school? Would i have gotten any good grades? Would i have gone to uni? Would i have just become more overwhelmed than i was and have gone through with a suicide attempt like i was planning? (that got deep, sozza)
20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Mmmmmm, lets go with.... No and Yes.
21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Right arm, my computer and left arm, my mic stand.
22) Smell the air. What do you smell? Paella, i didn’t finish my dinner.
23) What's the worst place you have ever been to? Uhh, Nothing really springs to mind to be honest. There are places that would make me have anxiety but that doesnt make them bad places.
24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? Literally no one is coming to mind. Sorry, im way too tired to be doing this haha. --AT THIS POINT I STARTED FALLING ASLEEP AND WENT TO BED, THE REST OF THIS WAS WRITTEN TODAY--
25) To you, what is the meaning of life? I think at some point in life, everyone at some single point (maybe multiple points) saves another life. Whether it be ER nurses or just having a meaningful conversation with someone and changing their outlook, i think the meaning of live is to help and support other lives.
26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I do not.
27) What was the last movie you saw? Uhhhh American Ultra.
28) What's the worst injury you've ever had? Man i dont know, ive broken my nose and most of my fingers and toes but thats about as worse as i have had it.
29) Do you have any obsessions right now? I’ve started playing rocket league again and its the only game i have played for 3 days.
30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Not that i know of! 
31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Yeahhhh, 100% yes, sometimes it’s important and those people deserve it man.
32) What is your astrological sign? Capricorn
33) What's the last thing you purchased? I bought some new glasses today. Im really hoping they arrive by the end of the week, otherwise im gonna get headaches all the damn time.
34) Love or lust? Obviously contextually dependent, but love is pretty damn cool.
35) In a relationship? N’aw
36) How many relationships have you had? Obviously some have been more serious than others but like... around 8 or so i guess
37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I mean, in a general sense, i like making people laugh, if someone likes me because of that, that’s their own damn problem.
38) Where is your best friend? Probably at home i would imagine.
39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? I want to say sleeping but i was probably watching youtube videos.
40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Probably not, but that’s  just because i hate myself..
41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Fuck my job, i couldn’t let a dog die. Also ‘ if you are late one more time’ I am NEVER late for work.
42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? Shit, one month?! I would tell all my friends and family, i would tell people how i really feel about them (literally tell so many people how much they mean to me) and hell yeah i would be afraid. ‘One month’ is pretty vague, months have different lengths!
43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Get up and jump - red hot chili peppers
44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Love, trust, loyalty and happiness.
45) How can I win your heart? Make me laugh. I fucking love laughing.
46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? ‘Insanity’ is a VERY loose term. It’s difficult to answer that.
47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? “ becoming friends w/ me HOLLAAAAAAA “ - @ufo-squad 
48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Something simple but nice i guess. OR something really dumb like ‘If you’re reading this, stop standing on me’
49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart." Emotion, working hard, giving something everything you can.
50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? Anything similar to ‘1DF7D2′
51) What is your current desktop picture? I have a cycle of around 50 different backgrounds, despite the fact that i never really look at them.
52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Hmm, I don’t think i would want anyone to just explode, that would suck.
53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? God, probably something about my emotions or the way i feel about people.
54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Shapeshifting would be awesome.
55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Hmmm, probably a really good gig that i had with my old bandmates, i really miss playing live music, so maybe one of the times we played at Jersey Live, they where fun.
56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Nahhh, fuck that, im a firm believer that everything happens for a reason in life so i woudn’t want to.
57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I am legit not interested in just sleeping with random people that i don’t know, the idea of it is awful to me.
58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Australia, maybe L.A.
59) Ever been on a plane? I have.
60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Uhhhhhhhhh okay. Alison Brie Lauren Cohan Daisy Ridley Tom Hardy Kristen Stewart.
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How much does car insurance cost?
"How much does car insurance cost?
I am 20 and a new driver. I drive a corolla 2009. How much would car insurance cost in canada? What is your average car insurance? per month or per year? would it be like $100 per month or what? just an estimate doesnt have to be exact
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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What homeowner insurance?
What homeowner insurance is more affordable in California?
How much would car insurance be for this person?
for a girl 16 years old, doesnt own a car in the state of NJ. any more info ill be glad to help. im asking because i want to know about how much it will cost will different insurances for me alone.""
Does having an sr22 lower my insurance by any chance?
So i know since im young and have a driving record that my insurance is outrages. i was wondering if getting an sr22 would help?
Cheapest liability insurance?
I'm 19yr old male in Texas w/ good-driving record, no tickets, have license for 2yrs now, have liability w/ State Farm for $116/mo looking for cheaper premium. W/ this info, can some one point me towards the direction for finding a much cheaper premium, preferably LESS than $100! Thanks.""
How much will my monthly payment and insurance be for a sports car?
im trying to figure out how much my car insurance will be. im 17, ive never owned a car, have no credit history and i want to buy a 1990 toyota supra which is a sports car. the car will probably cost $5000. i just really need to know how much i can expect to be paying a month with insurance and monthly payments""
Was Obama's health care/college system comparison valid?
Tonight President Obama compared the public health care option to the public system of Universities and colleges. He said the public option will work the same way public colleges and Universities without inhibiting a vibrant system of private colleges and Universities. This is a fool's argument and a total apples to oranges comparison. Let me explain, first almost all private universities receive funding from the federal government. The federal government is not going to provide funding for private insurance. The second reason is it's common knowledge that the best Universities in the U.S. are private schools such as Duke, Stanford, and the Ivy League. These universities fill most of the highest paying jobs in the country. Some jobs even go as far as to require a degree from one of these schools (Stock Brokers on NYC Stock Exchange.) These highly paid graduates can donate larger amounts of money back to their respective colleges than the average Joe who graduated from a generic state funded university. No one is going to donate money to the private insurance companies. We can't even get all the people who qualify for insurance to sign up and that's the problem! Look, I have no way of knowing whether the public option will work or won't but when faulty logic is used to support it I become concerned. When most of the people supporting the public option are from California (a state where the middle class is few and far between) I become more concerned. When most of the Senators and Representatives who support the public option say they would prefer the U.S. had a single payer system (that's total government control of health care if you didn't know) I become very concerned. The reality is no one knows what the effects of public option will be. Also, the success of FedEx is not any proof that public option won't hurt private companies because an independent council regulates the mail industry. No independent council is mentioned in any of the plans in the House or Senate. yes or no""
How much is the ticket for driving with no insurance in missouri?
How much is the ticket for driving with no insurance in missouri?
Regarding car insurance ?
Hi, I just got my license about a month ago and I can't find insurance quote cheaper than 4,500. However, all my friends who passed at the age of 18 got insurance quotes for less than 2,000. I even looked at the same cars as them or even cars in the lowest insurance group; still no realistic result. I'm trying to insure a car not an aircraft, any suggestions or tips ?""
Can please someone suggest the cheapest and yet good car insurance company?
thanks
How To Get The Insurance Brokers Licensec?
How to get the insurance brokers licensec? Is anyone could give me website?
Question for any car insurance agents...?
When sitting at a red light, how much distance is required in between cars? I ask because I was in a 3 car accident when I was rear ended and the impact caused me to be pushed into the car in front of me. Who is responsible for the damage to the last car?""
Insurance or real estate test is harder?
I have my Property and Casualty License in Colorado and now I am looking into Real Estate license as well. Which test do you think is harder??
Math question about cars and insurance?
I make 10 dollars an hour, full time job, 80+ hour checks with about 100 dollars in commission monthly. (1700 a month before taxes). I have to pay my rent, 325, my electric, 200 a month, and my phone bill- 40 dollars a month. My internet is 15 a month. How much do you think I could pay for a car, and insurance for a car without going broke? As in, what kind of price brackets should I stay in? I've been driving a car that's paid off since I was 16, now that car is falling apart. I need help, I've never done this before! :) Thanks!""
How much is car insurance.?
what car insurance for a new driver ,lady 27 .for a 6 seat car ,value 1.000 . from a small nottingham town ng177JEM""
Car insurance costs help?
I'm getting a car. Is there some website that will tell me or help me figure out how much my car insurance will be every month?
Average Motorcycle insurance?
thinking about getting one. best route take as far as insurance, bikers course, type of bike. its my first bike.""
What is the average price for motorcycle insurance (PLPD or full coverage) for a 17 year old with 0 tickets?
What is the average price for motorcycle insurance (PLPD or full coverage) for a 17 year old with 0 tickets?
Why are car insurance for men more higher than women?
I don't understand why is insurance for men more higher than women. Lets be honest: Women can get distracted as men and men can also get distracted. Men have temptation of speed, and so do women. some women have a tendency to be impatient behind a slow driver and dangerously overtake with their escalades or odyssey and so do men. In Europe, they have stopped doing this and how come in USA they don't do the same? I am not arguing that my insurance should be lower but it just doesn't seem to make sense. I am a careful driver yet I still have to pay more? For what? I have seen girls drive as bad as men. Why do I have to pay for so much as a male?""
How much is a dismissal fee for no proof of insurance in California?
I have insurance and I will provide proof but I'm wondering how much will I have to pay for the dismissal fee?
Do you need motorcycle insurance in florida?
i plan on moving to florida really soon, i am from n.j. and i heard i wouldnt need insurance, is that true? are there any circumstances where i would need to get insurance?""
What is the cheapest auto insurance company for drivers under 21?
I need some help finding a cheap car insurance company in virginia... Let me know what was the cheapest one in your experience Thanks!
Whats a good car insurance company?
hi im a 22 soon to be 23 year old male trying to buy a used 2004 or 2005 honda accord lx for 8 to 9000 dollars....what is the cheapest good insurance company i can go for and how much would i might have to dish out????
Can you give me any car recommendations?
ok im a 16 year old boy turning 17 next month and my parents are buying me a car.they said that there are some requirements of their own 1.the oldest it could be is a 2005 model(i don't know why) and it needs to be with in our price range which is $10,000 to $20,000.i don't have many requirements just that it needs to have something where i can connect my ipod and phone to the car to play music or make a call and i don't want a honda or toyota because everyone has one of those in my area and at school(sorry if it sounds bratty but it kinda feels weird to me to have a car that most people have in my area). so what are some nice cars in our price range that would be a good first car.also my parents said the insurance cost doesn't matter.""
Boost Mobile Insurance?
I bought a galaxy prevail android phone, through boost mobile, about 1 1/2 months ago. at the time that I bought it, I did not purchase the insurance thinking that I'd get the money for that and get it later. Now I want to buy it, but when I went on their website I couldn't figure out how to do it and from how it looked, I could only get the insurance throughout a limited time after I bought my phone. So my question is; Can I get insurance on this phone right now or am I outta luck because I didn't get it earlier? ??? Please & thank yewws :)""
What car insurance company do you use?
My car insurance is 2,200 a year and my parents are looking for something cheap. We have state farm. Any suggestions?""
How much does car insurance cost?
I am 20 and a new driver. I drive a corolla 2009. How much would car insurance cost in canada? What is your average car insurance? per month or per year? would it be like $100 per month or what? just an estimate doesnt have to be exact
Insurance test?
Where can i find a test book and how can i become a insurance agent?
Does anybody have any info about insurance licsences in arizona?
classes, test, etc. i passed my real estate exam a little over a year ago. man talk about a tough business! well i think its almost time to move on to something else....""
Home Owners Insurance?
My husband and I are looking for the best home owners insurance in California one that includes earthquake coverage and other stuff like fire and theft can you give me places to check out? We will be living in Culver City, California in the USA""
What is the most economical route to buy affordable yet adequate health insurance?
I am not working and have limited income. I have no known health problems. I am 60 years old and I do not smoke or drink and I exercise regularly. Does anyone know the best way for me to find out who to contact? I live in KY...one of the worst states for insurance. We do have Blue Cross and Humana that I know of... I would like to have no more than a $2500 deductible. Thank you so much for your answers. God bless!
Is there anyone in california that helps people with claiming insurance from the other party's insurance compa?
My wife and I were crossing the street in San Francisco when we were run down by a cab. Police report says cab driver is at fault. Problem is we're about to head back to our country (we're tourists) and need help settling obligations with the hospital by claiming damages from the cab company's insurance company. While we're back in our own country. Is there an office that assists foreigners with claiming?
Your car is stolen insurance company declares write off then its found?
What happens when your car gets stolen so you report it to the insurance company after 30 days the car hasn't been found a couple of weeks later its found what happens?
Where to a find good site Affordable Family Health Insurance?
Hello, please suggest me a website for affordable family health insurance.There are many sites that offer you discount, but i think most of them are scams.I need cheap price for my health insurance.Please let me know.""
19 years old and cheapest insurance i've found is 4.5k WHATS GOING ON?
Right basically i'm 19, recently past my test tried looking at every single type of car there is even with pass plus discount and it's barely even gone below 6000 (4500 wasn't even what i found, it was my sister that probably got one of my details wrong) I've even tried having parents as named drivers and i cant think of anything else i've not already tried. Even friends i know have had it less than 2000 and at the moment i'll be happy to get below 3000 Pleaseee help!""
How much does it cost to live on your own in western Washington?
I am 20 yrs. old and it's just time to move out. I was wondering what all the expenses are that go into living on your own. Also I am attending communtiy college, and though it is paid for I will not be working full time so I will be living on a budget. I know the general cost of rent, car insurance, cell, gas but I really have no idea as far as food, utilies, cleaning supply, soaps, all those little thing you dont think about untill they add up. So in addtion to all that feel free to share some expenses that took you be surprise! Thanks everyone :)""
How much does car insurance cost?
I'm saving up for a car and I wanna see how much I will be spending. I know it'll be a lot so I don't want any advice that I should really think about it and stuff I just want answers please. I'm 18 and I'm barley gonna get my lisence. I wanna get atleast a 2011 scion tc. How much will insurance cost? I know it'll be a lot cause of the car and cause I'm a new driver and stuff. And if anyone knows how much a 2011 tc will cost and how much I would have to pay a month for it that would help too. Can someone give me an estimate please. Thanks a lot.
""I need some sort of health coverage, help me find an affordable option?""
I work full time for my company, but part-time in one postition and part-time in another still makes me a part-time employee and ineligible for benefits. I make a little too much for medicaid, but not enough to buy a plan that covers me. I lost my last health insurance 2 years ago when I lost my old job while I was having surgeries on my hand to fix a bone defect. My problem is now that I'm having a lot of problems with my hand and will need another surgery to fix the problem. I can't afford to pay 30k for it and no doctor will do it because it's not an emergency eventhough I'm in pain. I know that I'll have to be insured for a year before it will cover a pre exhisting. The hospital turned me down for any type assistance, and even if it did I the doctors are all seperate so I'm still in a lot of debt plus physical therapy is expensive. What can I do?""
Can you get a discount on motorcycle insurance if is has an alarm system?
I just go a 2009 zx6r and I was wondering if ICBC gives you a discount if it has a full alarm system and immobilizer? I live in vancouver BC canada thanks
How do you know how much insurance to take when you buy car insurance?
How do you know how much insurance to take when you buy car insurance?
How should I insure a car? Or should I?
Hello Everyone, I'm 17 years old and have just recently gotten my license (G2). I would love to have a car of my own as it would make my life so much easier due to my strange schedule in school. I have banked enough money to buy a nice car but am still drawing a blank when it comes to insurance. What im really wondering is whats the cheapest/best way for me to insure a car. My mom and dad have both cars insured under there names but they are in use. If I was to buy my own car would I be able to insure it under their name? or under my dad's private business? I can't afford to pay 9k a year in insurance atm but would really love to have my own car sooner rather than later. If you could let me know the best way to get around the monumental cost I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks in advance, Geoff""
""Im a new G2 driver, and im thinking on getting second driver insurance on my moms car.?""
how much do u think it will add onto the insurance already?, its a 2003 ford focus""
What is the most affordable health insurance in Los Angeles?
I am trying to find health insurance as a 35 yr old male. I have never had insurance before and don't have any illnesses. What is the most cost effective health insurance that will cover me and will allow me to go get a tune up quickly?
Insurance on small cars example punto ?
hey everyone iv just passed my theory test today and i want to buy a punto for my fist car i need advice on de price off tax and insurance like for example i would probably purchase any punto from 1997 -2001 and im 19 does anyone av any advice for me cause i don wanna be ripped off thanks for readin you guys xxxxxxxxxxx
Motorcycle insurance full coverage?
I pay full coverage for my motorcycle and my co worker who is still paying on his bike has way cheaper insurance then me. Were the same age. Is it possible not to have full coverage when you have a loan for the bike? I know your suppose to, i do but i would think the insurance company could find out some how if you told them it was paid off..right?""
Insurance on small cars example punto ?
hey everyone iv just passed my theory test today and i want to buy a punto for my fist car i need advice on de price off tax and insurance like for example i would probably purchase any punto from 1997 -2001 and im 19 does anyone av any advice for me cause i don wanna be ripped off thanks for readin you guys xxxxxxxxxxx
Paying 10k a year for car insurance?
with a great driving record for 3 cars total is that even possible to charge that much. I have been told that if I move to Illinois it will cost that much.
What are some of cheapest but decent cars to run ( I am 17 years of age)?
insurance? MOT? petrol litre? = cost?
What type of insurance is auto insurance?
http://www.insurance.ca.gov/0200-industry/0050-renew-license/0200-requirements/index.cfm out of all these types which is for auto? and if i wanted to work in a place that sells life insurance do i have to get certified for that too?
What cars are there that are decent but cheap on insurance for first time drivers? (male)?
i don't care on what the car is as long as its reliable. even if it looks like a shed. i have a motorbike for looks and pleasure with 2 years no claims if that makes a difference i don't know. cheers.
How much is a car insurance ?
Just roughly ? Thanks
How easy is it to change my car insurance?
I am 23, and never changed my car insurance before. I had it for 5 years. I paid $65, then after a ticket, over a year ago it suddenly went to $87. That is with progressive. Esurance offered me $55 for same coverage. If I usually pay on the 20th, can I call them up, set up new plan, and have it start on 20th, and have old one stop on 20th, without another bank deduction?""
How much does car insurance cost?
I am 20 and a new driver. I drive a corolla 2009. How much would car insurance cost in canada? What is your average car insurance? per month or per year? would it be like $100 per month or what? just an estimate doesnt have to be exact
Which is the cheapest and best ( best value) auto insurance in the US?
GEICO sux
Do all car insurance rates drop when you turn 25?
When I turned 25 everyone told me congrats that my car insurance rate would drop. I never heard of this. I asked around and some people said that that is not ALWAYS true. Is it? I use Esurance Auto Insurance. Do i need to call to get the discount. Is there even a discount. Do insurance companys automatically do it? Hmm.
What is an affordable health insurance for a 61 year old woman?
my mother needs a new helath insurance plan. any suggestions?
Does it cost to switch auto insurance companies?
Mine was renewed {mine renews automatically) in April, but due to a change in finances, we started to look for something lower recently. We found one that is around $40 cheaper, plus offers roadside assistance. Do I have to wait until April to change it? If it does cost, what is the average charge? I know this rate will vary, but my agent is a very rude,and always acts like I am bothering her. I just wanted to get an idea before I called her. Thanks""
Auto State Farm insurance almost up?
I just looked at my auto insurance card that it expires next month.....i still want to keep it so do i have to call them to renew it or something, or do they call you ?""
Can I call an auto adjuster for a quote and then not use them?
Car value (Kelley Blue Book) about $4200-4500 (just bought it a couple of months ago for $5K). Older car, low low mileage. Seriously excellent condition, fancy wheels, no similar cars close to the low mileage anywhere near $5K within a 200 mile radius. Body work $5K est from body shop. Do I bother calling insurance company to send an adjuster out, or should I just fix it myself and save the insurance cost hit because they will total it anyway? If an adjuster gives an estimate am I then bound by their decision, which seems as if it will be to total the car? If they look at it will they raise my insurance even if I fix it myself? I am not sure what to do!""
If Medicaid is meant to be health insurance for low-income people.... then?
why do a lot of people have difficulty getting health insurance in America? Sincere question, please. I want to learn more about the health care system in my country.""
Who has best affordable health insurance?
Looking for health and dental insurance for 1 + spouse in Texas.
Around how much would insurance be if im 18 driving a ford 2000 GT Mustang and no driving record?
Around how much would insurance be if im 18 driving a ford 2000 GT Mustang and no driving record?
What is a good cheap Car Insurance Company?
I am 22 years old, single mother of two children ( 2 & 4 ), looking for cheap insurance quotes, I live in NC I'm not sure if that matters. I checked Allstate and that's the cheapest quote I've found, but I had them before and owe them money, so EX them out. Any other people, I checked with Progressive, State Farm, AND Gecco (sp). Who are you with what are your companies??""
Tesco Car insurance cancelled?
I have just returned from 2 months being away and was very much surprised to read letters from tesco insurance about being unable to take money from my account for the annual renewal of my policy and therefore cancelling it. I talked to my bank and they said that there were not attempts to take money from my account by tesco. While tesco says that my card has been refused. I asked tesco if they could reinstate my policy due to some fault with the payment, which does not seem to be my bank they say that cancelled policy cannot be reinstated and suggest to pay  230 for the period that they were trying to collect and open a much more expensive new policy. They also told me that I face penalty because my car is uninsured now. I would like to reinstate the policy as cancelled unfairly and at the same time I need to insure my car quickly to avoid facing penalty. I wanted to maintain Tesco policy in case they reinstate it, as i will not have cancelled policy on my records and will not have to pay extra for the month, they have been cancelling my account, i also have 2 years no claim with them, provided another insurance, whose car slightly dammaged my front door, while i was parked at a petrol station, pays them. This insurance admitted that it was their fault, but have not finished paying Tesco. This is another reason, tesco could do me even cheaper insurance, once the responsible party pays in full. If i leave it as it is i am afraid that in additioon to cancelled policy I will have a not fully payed claim on my records.""
Best way to file claim for Allstate home owner's insurance?
My husband and I have minor storm damage to the roof over our master bedroom. And now water has managed to get into the wall and is making the sheet rock bubble up, as well as causing cracks in the ceiling in that one particular spot. Allstate sent an insurance agent out and they said that after our $1,000 deductible they are only willing to pay about $400 over the cost to fix it. So...should I get a contractor to assess and give me a quote, and then re-file a claim with the insurance adjuster? If so, how should I go about doing that?""
How Much Is Insurance For A Mustang?
I'm 16 and am looking into getting a 2000 or 2001 mustang/mustang gt. im a great driver. my parents have travelers for auto insurance, and they're going to add my car to their insurance. my parents are also great drivers, no wrecks/tickets or anything. what is the average i would have to pay for my car insurance each month? thanks:)""
Car Insurance Rates: Wyoming vs Nevada?
Car Insurance Rates: Wyoming vs Nevada?
What is an affordable health insurance in N.J for my employee? i own a small business with one worker.?
What is an affordable health insurance in N.J for my employee? i own a small business with one worker.?
Health Insurance and im currently pregnant?
I live in Orlando, Fl and I'm pregnant, is there any insurance company that i can get a health insurance now?""
How much is insurance for a teenager?
hey i wanna buy a car, and im about to get my license. i just wanna know what the average price is for my age. im turning 17, and i want a 2002 firehawk trans am..yes i know i shouldnt get it, i should get a honda civic lol. but ive saved up and i want it. i just want to know the average price. my mother has geico and im a guy. if you could give me a estimate for every month or every couple of months it will cost for a trans am also how much cheaper it will be if i got the cheaper car. much thanks!! i also live in new jersey if that helps.""
How much would my car insurance cost for under 25 for a multi car insurer?
i am 19 and want to start driving but insurance is a big issue and i don't have any knowledge in that department. So how much would my insurance be on the cheapest car (what car would that be?) as a multi car insurer?
Do I qualify for unemployment insurance in California?
I worked a full time temp job that only lasted 4 months. From May to September. I m wondering if that is enough to qualify for unemployment insurance in California?
Do I need health insurance?
I am a healthy 20 year old male... I have a wife, who is also healthy, that really thinks we should get health insurance... My work offers a decent plan for $300 a month... I think this money could be put to better use... a savings account or something. The problem is of course, emergencies. I've seen plans that cover emergencies but only like 80% and they have a high deductible/monthly payment. Any suggestions/ideas??""
Can I get a life insurance license with a misdemeanor on my record in California?
Misdemeanor is four years old for petty theft.
Car insurance while buying a car.?
I live in Washington and i plan on buying a car, $700 cash. Do i have to have insurance to drive it off the lot? or can i just go without insurance, i'm not financing or anything, paying full price.""
Which occupation would be best for car insurance purposes?
I can honestly say Retired , Investor , Private Investor Or Self Employed . Considering the fact that I don't drive very much anyway, less than 3000-3500 miles per year would one have a better risk classification and therefore lower rates than the other ? Oh, and Im 47 by the way so not your typical retired type person. (Don't really have a life but that wasn't the question) My liability insurance is pretty cheap but Im the kind of guy that likes to check every 6 months just to make sure Im getting the best price for the same coverage. Thanks ! PS, on a sort of related note, is it a problem if my credit report might not say the exact same thing ? I suspect it may say Self Employed and my former business.""
Ever felt like a criminal for trying to insure your car?
hi there i am a young male driver 20yrs old i am trying to insure my first car which is a suzuki wagon r+ ga and i fell as if i am a pure criminal i have tried many insurers online on the phone and in person i cant find a quote for under 1300 i woundnt mind so much but the car only cost me 200 and they wounder why people drive without insurance well at these prices i am personaly tempted can anyone tell me where i can find a cheaper qoute have tried hundereds prices have ranged from 1295-3645 (well saying this country is constanly ripping us off all the time is about time the goverment was standing in and helping out us motorist a bit they want to reduce the amont of cars without insurance they need to reduce the cost whats your fellings)
Definition of insurance?
I want to know of the definition of insurance
How much does car insurance cost?
I am 20 and a new driver. I drive a corolla 2009. How much would car insurance cost in canada? What is your average car insurance? per month or per year? would it be like $100 per month or what? just an estimate doesnt have to be exact
How much jail time for no insurance in georgia?
My friend had an unpaid ticket that turned into a warrant. If he were to turn hisself in how long would he serve.
What is the best auto insurance?
i am 23 and pay $135 for liability. i need something cheaper.
Can anyone give me any insight on approximate costs for cars/car insurance?
In defense of my ignorance, I'm only sixteen, and I'm trying to figure out how long it will take to save up for a car/driving school/insurance/all that stuff. And since I don't actually have a car yet, I can't get a quote on insurance. Also, I realize that every case is different, prices vary, and it's next to impossible for anyone to give me a definite answer, but all I'm asking for is approximation. Things I need to know: -Sixteen, newly licensed, about how much per month for insurance? -In your opinion, what's the best/cheapest insurance provider? -About how much is the cheapest that I would be able to buy a used car for, assuming I'm not picky in the least about anything besides it being one that actually runs, where I won't have to worry about all kinds of repair costs? I know this is kind of ridiculous, as no one can give me an official answer, but all I'm asking for is approximation. (: Thanks in advance. If I've forgotten any fees that come with car or insurance buying, feel free to educate me? THANKS TONS.""
How would obamacare affect our family?
We are a middle class family, smack dab in the middle... Hubby's job provides health insurance, but for a family of 3, which we are, it would cost $200 a week for coverage, with high deductible, so! Since hubby is in exceptional health and hasnt had any medical problems (knock on wood!) he continues without health insurance; I remain on my parents plan as I'm 25 (aka under 26yrs old), and we pay for child health plus for my daughter, for a small fee a month, which depends on our income We simply couldn't afford to pay $800 a month for family coverage, so doing it this way saves us, like $600+! So since we don't make enough to pay for hubbys $800 family plan through work, is obamacare basically going to force hubby to get health insurance through his work, even though it's complete garbage? Or will his employer have more affordable family plan that we could afford? Just trying to understand it all better! Thanks in advance! :-)""
""Why is my car insurance so expensive, any help?""
I am years old and have had my license for 6 months now, Ive been driving as a named driver on my dad's car but I cant take it out as much as I like as he uses it a lot for work its like i got to book the car to use it and i want to get my own but insurance companies are asking up to 7000 thats mental! I am currently studying part time and looking for a part time job as i have taken a gap year and planning to go Uni in Sept does this effect the quotes? and can any one help me out in getting a cheaper quote down to at least 2500 ? and what car should i get so i can put it under my name and not be as a named driver?""
How much would car insurance be for me?
I'm an 18 year old I'm male. I recently dropped out of high school and I have a 2005 Toyota matrix I live in colorado How much would full coverage be for me on average a month?
Where can i buy insurance?
I'm have a low income and I'm looking for a right insurance coverage. I work as a part time job so my employer won't buy an insurance for me. Please if anyone knows any type of insurance that I can afford that would be much appreciated. Thank you
I need cheap auto liability insurance can anyone recommend a good company?
I need cheap auto liability insurance can anyone recommend a good company?
Does my Company car insurance cover me to drive other insured cars 3rd Party?
im insured fully comp to drive my company car, so because i am fully comp does this mean that i am insured to drive 3rd Party any other car that is also insured Fully Comp?(not in the company)""
Is it illegal in alabama to refuse to give insurance info?
a company van hit my parked car in a parking lot the driver left note with manager of business saying where he worked,what time he hit my car and location in parking lot,now business owner is refusing to tell me who his insurance carrier is ,the driver also wrote down his name""
Do I need to use an insurance broker to buy business insurance?
I run a small independent shop, and require business insurance. Does anyone offer this direct like household and motor, or do I have to use a specialist broker?""
""Changing car insurance from full coverage to liability on BMW lease, will BMW detect it?""
I just completed a lease assumption process on a BMW and they required full coverage (100/300) for my car insurance. Problem is, I have a few tickets on my record and also for some reason I require an SR22, so for full coverage insurance I am paying quite a lot. I would like to switch to liability only and just take the chance if something happens to the car (knowing I will have to pay for all damages), but I am not sure if BMW checks periodically whether or not I have the proper insurance coverage. Does anyone know if they check, and if the do check and find me with only liability, what would/could they do? Thanks in advance.""
Can She Still Get Health Insurance?
My girlfriend and I are moving out to South Dakota in a few months and I was wondering if she would still be covered under her mom's insurance. She is a full-time student and lives with her mother in Wyoming goes to school in Nebraska. She will however be living with me in South Dakota but still a full-time student. Is she still covered under her mothers insurance even though she will not be living under her mother's roof? Thanks!
Where is a good place to get a car and cheap car insurance?
My husband is in the navy... does the military have a car place we can go to or car insurance we can get?
What price would insurance be for a Scion?
What would an insurance quote for a Scion xB be? ... for a Scion tC?
How much should i pay for insurance of my car as a new driver in toronto?
Do the insurance companies in toronto accept my no claim record of driving from other insurance companies of the other countries or not? I have a 20 years record of driving in asia and a 10years record of no claim in my current insurance co. thanks to everybody who could give me information
How much does health insurance cost?
I am from the UK and I am doing an assignment on whether medicine can be justified to have a price tag. As I have free public healthcare from the country (NHS), and I do not have private healthcare. I would like a guide as to how much health insurance would cost for a child, man, and woman with no health condtions. Please be specific and add more examples if you can.""
Auto Insurance Coverage - How much coverage should I buy?
Next week, I'll be switching to another auto insurance. My previous limits with another company were: -minimum MD state 20/40/15 for Bodily Injury, Uninsured Motorist, and property damage -PIP $2500 -250/500 for Comprehensive/Collision, had road service, towing, and rental. I don't have many assets. I'm a renter and I live from paycheck to paycheck. I have no accidents, no tickets, and no violations for the last 8 years. I'm a cautious driver. I drive a 2003 Honda Civic. The new insurance company is offering me $759/year for the limits 100/300/100 Bodily Injury Liability and matching for Uninsured Motorist + Property Damage, 250/500 for Comp/Coll, road service, towing, and rentals, PIP 2500. I've seen different answers that say 100/300/100 would be better for those who own a house and have a better income. What do you think is a recommended coverage going?""
Accident...Car Insurance Coverage (Infinity)?
I drove my moms car going to work, I drive it once a week or not even. Someone crashed into me on the freeway and damaged the vehicle. Im not on the insurance policy but My mom has ...show more""
What's the difference between California state income tax and state disability insurance tax?
I just started working in CA and noticed a deduction for state income tax AND state disability insurance on my first paycheck. My state income tax deduction was about .25% and the SDI deduction was 1%. I looked online at various tax calculators and none of them mentioned an additional 1% tax on top of the state income tax rates. Please let me know what the state income taxes are here. Thanks.
Mandated Health Insurance is different from Mandated Auto Insurance how?
The Supreme Court will be deciding if the government can force us to buy health insurance from a private corporation. The government forces us to buy auto liability insurance from a private corporation. I am at a loss to see the difference.
My parents wont put me in car insurance?
My dad keeps giving me excuses to why I'm not on his insurance yet. His excuse now is that he wants to switch car insurances first, but that he can't until he fixes his car. Like why can't he fix his car under the new insurance? it makes no sense. I've had my license for about 3 weeks now. All my friends have been put under insurance as soon as they got their license. I'm trying to get a job, but I cant because I'm not on the insurance. and no one can drive me to work since they work themselves. My parents think my older brother is my personal driver, its annoying. I don't know what to do. Any advice?""
Do i need to have insurance if i don't use a car?
Please tell me - do i need to have insurance when i don't use a car? I'm buying car next week but after that i'm going abroad for a month and nobody will use this car. I would like to know if i can keep car in garage for this time without insurance and buy when i go back? Maybe its comuplsory to have insurance for all time when i'm cars owner?
How much money do auto insurance brokers make?
How do they get paid? and how much?
What is the best health insurance company?
What is the best health insurance company?
How much does car insurance cost?
I am 20 and a new driver. I drive a corolla 2009. How much would car insurance cost in canada? What is your average car insurance? per month or per year? would it be like $100 per month or what? just an estimate doesnt have to be exact
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/when-you-had-your-first-car-how-much-were-paying-insurance-mulder"
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