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#it is 1:00 am
charlie-and-mushrooms · 4 months
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I think I've always been sensitive to sound a bit but for some reason I've been noticing it a lot more recently. And today I got over stimulated.
I kept stimming to try and help with it but I was trying to mask at the same time. But it was like my ears were picking up every single sound in the car, and my ears were just- I don't know. Every time someone shifted in their seat (including me), the AC, the engine of the car, occassional talking, it was just so... Grating on my ears. And I forgot my headphones so I couldn't put those on, and I was trying to mask so I didn't plug my ears.
But something that surprised me was that it wasn't even that loud, there wasn't much going on. There was six of us in the car, but almost no one was really talking. And there wasn't music on, but for some reason it was just sooo much and overwhelming. I hated it.
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itayaki · 3 months
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I'm still thinking about that scene
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 1 month
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Randomly thinking about “tolerate it” (narrator voice: it was not random) and how under the cloak of fiction it is ostensibly inspired by works like “Rebecca” (which Taylor said she read during the 2020 lockdowns I believe?), with the line of “you’re so much older and wiser” indicating that the speaker is significantly younger and inexperienced compared to the person she’s speaking to and a pretty direct reference to the plot of the book.
But I saw something somewhere once that stuck with me about how it might not be referring to relative age between the characters but chronological age as in the passage of time in a relationship. And that made me think about how in a contemporary context, it might not necessarily be referencing an actual age gap between the two characters, but rather a sarcastic or cynical response to the man’s claims that he has matured (“you’re so much older and wiser [than you were before/than you were when we met/etc.]”), which then made me think about that line in relation to the woman. And that it could be taken like, “you act like you’ve matured so much in our time together and like you know everything, while I’m supposedly still stuck as the girl I was when we first met.”
Which then made me think of the “right where you left me” of it all and did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen time went on for everyone else she won’t know it and the bit in Miss Americana where she talks about how celebrities get frozen at the age at which they got famous, and how she’s had to play catch up in a lot of ways not just in her emotional growth but kind of in general. (Which also made me wonder if she’s ever been called out for immaturity/lack of curiosity/lack of education about things in her life…)
Which then made me think about the rest of the song, and @taylortruther’s posts yesterday about “seven” and “Daylight” and the way Taylor idealizes her youth yet contrasts it with an almost sinister reality in its wake, and the line, “I sit by the door like I’m just a kid,” because the discussion raised that her relationship let her recapture some of the childlike joy and wonder she’d lost. So this line is a double-edged sword: the speaker sits by the door with childlike hope that the person will come home and cherish her, but on the darker side, feels like the child dealing with the monsters she doesn’t have names for yet and the feelings of isolation she felt as she aged.
I’m not saying the song is necessarily autobiographical; like most of the songs on folkmore, it’s clearly a fictionalized story based on media she’d consumed and created, but we know a lot of the fictional songs were infused with her own feelings and experiences and… This idea swirling in my head picked up steam and now I kind of can’t stop thinking about it. Sorry but I’m a little obsessed now.
Like maybe it might start to shed light on why she identified so strongly with the novel in the first place…
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The fucking veterans' event. I'll never get over this. He needed to see Havers again but he didn't have the right qualifications. Experience had taught him the layout of the mansion however, so he snuck around the back, because he knew that reality expands beyond the established rules of engagement. He'd been shown that those rules would still be enforced though, so he stole a mark of the approved experiences—ones which he'd never had.
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He enters the room, and the same way he was able to sneak into the house he sees there's a path through the crowd to reach Havers. But he is inattentive of his environment and draws attention to himself, causing him to be challenged to prove his belonging yet again—only this time, he has moved beyond the pale and is thus forced to follow through with evidence to back up his pretence. Of course, he has no experiences to pull from in that regard.
"The Captain" is nothing but a facade walling off a soft man from a hostile environment. He has no home to provide him shelter behind what appears to be the front door. Tearing it open is the equivalent of pulling a turtle from its shell; without it, he cannot weather the world.
So when they all push through uninvited, he perishes. His soft heart breaks from the strain of exposure.
Kicking in the front door reveals this unexpected sliver of actual reality, ungoverned by the rule book. The tables turn as now it is the others who are left fumbling for what to do, their legs cut out from under them when suddenly deprived of their precious rules.
Except for the officer who's seen both sides, who did build a lawful home, yet who also knows the Captain. He rushes forward to bridge the long established, newly exposed gap between reality and fiction. They are pulled together by the joint store they put in the truth, in spite of propriety. And possessing the means to do so, Havers will protect what he cares about, be that a people or a person.
He declares the impostor to be a peer in everything but name by demanding medical attention for him, and kneeling halfway to his level, he speaks with him as close to equals as the situation will allow them to be. He affirms the final truth which risks seeping out for everyone to see while still guarding it, wrapping a gentle bandage over the open wound to spare the Captain from bleeding out completely: I know.
And then, as a final comfort, in place of the impossibility of open affection, he redirects the Captain's hands to accept a part of his own shell that he willingly offers up to help rebuild the one which kept the Captain safe all these years, up until it was cruelly torn away in what was to become his final moments.
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How starved is the man who can hide behind a swagger stick?
At long last, heteronormativity finally did kill the Captain. Nevertheless, Anthony affirmed that in the face of it, James did still exist, and despite the violations he faced, he had a right to do so on his own terms. He might never have become a hero, but he was always a brave man. His circumstances gave him no choice.
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woennix · 5 months
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i am vod-watching old vods bc i wanted to know more about fit and tazercraft lore and i made a discovery on qfit.
so, who was gonna tell me fit canonized him having bad hearing due to too many explosions in 2b2t... WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME
i thought it was a big headcanon everyone agreed on bc him being partially deaf or hard of hearing just makes sense, NOT THAT HE STRAIGHT UP SAID IT
anyways maybe he said it lightheartedly but its completely canon for me rn idc
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rwby-encrusted-blog · 7 months
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I'm about to say something Controversial!
Knightfall is just TaiRaven 2.0
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synthwayve · 4 months
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The Micolaurence text post ever.
Shoutout to the people in my replies, I blame all of you in the most positive way possible.
Poorly formatted “essay” about the connections they have that make my brain spin because yes :} new years is a time of lawlessness impulsivity: keep in mind I don’t own the actual game to confirm some things, most of this is compiled from item descriptions, cut content, reading the wiki over and over, and my own analysis. I could be totally wrong about some things + this is just my own analysis/interpretation**, have mercy upon my soul 🙏
The biggest thing about them, and the thing I simply do not shut up about if you happen to hear me talk about them, is that both Micolash and Laurence’s respective obsessions/virtues/main associated game mechanics (Insight and Blood respectively) directly influence each other. Not only do they influence each other, they also relieve the negative effects of the other stat. Why is this such a big deal to me? WELL:
Beasthood, the negative effect of taking too much blood, scales negatively depending on your Insight. The more Insight you have, the less Beasthood, and vice versa. Contrarily, Sedatives, crafted from blood(yes, Sedatives are stated to be thick ‘human’ blood and will reset your Beasthood as well, but this does not necessarily reduce it- more on this later*)
Will relieve Frenzy as their primary purpose, which is the main negative side effect of having high Insight i.e going mad.
I think this is very intentional outside of just pure game mechanics and design: there is a running theme in Bloodborne, that being that every enemy you face has succumbed to one side too heavily. BSB, the half-beast Yharnamites, Gascoigne, Amelia, Laurence, and all the other beast enemies you face have relied too much on the blood and fallen to its curse. Brainsuckers, Rom, Winter Lanterns, Micolash, and arguably other insight-heavy enemies like the Celestial Emissary are heavier on the Insight side. What makes YOU, the player, different? It is your ability to balance both.
The creatures that have gotten closest to ascension are ones that we can assume have undergone the effects of blood and insight, but still haven’t gotten there all the way. Rom is probably the biggest example, along with other Kin/Great One enemies. They are physically transformed, as the blood will do, but they are not beasts. Rather, they often have the numerous eyes that are granted with Insight.
The ending that allows the Hunter to ascend reads to me as an ending where you have successfully balanced both mediums: using Blood to tame the negative effects of Insight and vice versa. What I interpret from this in regards to Micolash and Laurence specifically is that they could have come SO CLOSE to achieving what they wanted!! If they had just worked together, and the schism hadn’t happened, perhaps Micolash would not have gone insane with steady treatments of Blood and Laurence would not have transformed with the help of his Insight being steadily raised.
Maybe it’s just me being insane but I don’t know, there’s something pretty gay to me about being in charge of/cursed by an obsession with something that only someone equally as obsessed with its opposite can cure.
I honestly think Micolash and Laurence might have even ended up in a sort of prisoner’s dilemma situation: they both think their own method is correct, and refuse to give in to the other’s perspective. In doing so, they actually end up royally screwing themselves over at the same time whereas cooperation would have led to the best outcome. Laurence, the general posterboy for the blood in general(and most other blood related things) is not someone who I imagine would be keen on giving up his faith in the substance. Especially when he’s being told this by a man who’s sanity is hung by a thread. But if only Micolash listened to HIM, his insanity would be relieved and he would go back to the mostly sensible man he might’ve been- only of course, Micolash would not see it that way. Why would he take something that is quite literally killing Laurence? I find it interesting that Sedatives are a hint of insanity(like with Edgar) yet Micolash doesn’t drop any. Perhaps he’s not the type to invest in Blood, especially if he had to watch it slowly chip away at Laurence’s health who was too stubborn to listen to him instead. You see where I’m going with this- around and around they go.
*while Sedatives are stated to be thick human blood, I have three theories about this.
1. “Derived” from Byrgenwerth implies to me that the formula has undergone some modifications. I would not be surprised if holy blood is used as a thickener.
2. I imagine most “human blood”, at the point that Sedatives are distributed more abundantly, is already tainted with holy blood. I mean, come on. This is Yharnam. Blood is the name of the game.
3. Sedatives reset Beasthood, but for you the PLAYER, your beasthood remains at more of a net neutral than your Insight which the game relies on to progress the story. I imagine that for a scholar like Micolash, who does not fulfill the role of a hunter or a soldier, beasthood would be less of a concern.
OKAY THAT ONE POINT GOT REALLY LONG I’M SORRY so I’ll rapid fire some other things about them:
-Micolash seeks to abandon his humanity in his boss form, Laurence seeks to retain it in his boss form. Micolash seeks a blessing from Kos like that which was granted to Rom, you know, the giant very not human spider. Laurence wants his memories and his head back. Neat!!
-while there seems to be clear animosity between Mensis and The Healing Church later in the timeline, I think it is often overlooked that they DID work together at some time. I can imagine The School of Mensis to be research and science heavy: looking for ways to perfect ministration technology, understand the specifics of the blood, and research what else can be made of it to further humanity. The Healing Church distributes it, covers. The School’s reputation(presumably), and uses that research to further their own ideas of ascension. Bloodborne likes to do things in threes: Willem, Laurence, and Micolash are respective leaders/founders of Byrgenwerth, The Healing Church, and The School of Mensis. Interesting note that the latter two originate from the former, who is the only still “living” character amongst the 3 as far as I can gather. He warned those morons and it meant absolutely nothing LMAO.
-There is something so satisfying to me in how Micolash is generally associated with the dark and dim: Kos- a goddess born from the watery depths, an infinite labyrinth of dust and old tomes, and dark robes of Byrgenwerth. Laurence, on the other hand, is associated with all that is bright: fire, a bright pale moon, white and blue robes of the Choir, and the candlelit cathedrals that are more wax than they are pews. Parallels! Beloved!
-fellas is it gay if we both destroy a city for our own ends. YES yes Old Yharnam specifically was destroyed by the Powder Kegs- but I have a complete crack theory that Laurence saw the Ashen Blood poisoning go down, thought “ah, that is terrible for our reputation”, and sent the then-still loyal Powder Kegs to kaboom the issue away. The Powder Kegs then begin to protect the very beasts that Laurence is trying to sweep under the rug(because panic never leads to anything good), so the Healing Church Workshop as a whole denounce them as heretics.
…but also crack theory aside I still hold him half-responsible for the fall of Yharnam as a whole. And Micolash fucking obliterated all of Yahar’gul so. Yeah. Do NOT let these 2 work together, I think they would destroy all of Yharnam if they could.
-Consider: academic rivals that end up side-by-side, foraying into the brand new promising field of human ascension with matching ambitions and stars in their eyes. That is, until a cost that neither is willing to pay(the health of the other) shows up, and they end up splitting apart in a violent schism that brings them right back to where they started. CONSIDER. For me 🥺
-The Mensis cage obscures everything BUT the eyes, the uniform of the Choir allows for mobility (even enough to fight- like with Yurie) but it blinds the user. Also: Micolash, weird crazy guy who was probably not adored, or at least not as adored as Laurence, dies surrounded by people. Laurence, the guy who put Yharnam on the freaking map, dies completely alone in a big empty room. At least, that’s how we find their bodies in the nightmare!
- “We were friends! How could you?” Is tragic to me in any interpretation
-WHY DOES MICOLASH HAVE A CALL BEYOND. That is a CHOIR SPELL TO THE CORE!! And also, iirc, shared only amongst the higher ranks. I understand him having stolen it from Laurence is the general interpretation- but I like to think that perhaps it was a gift. A show of good faith, even? 😏 to wield the very stars in one’s hands seems like a very apt gift for a guy who is obsessed with the cosmos.
-Laurence 100% stole some of Micolash’s homework on contacting Great Ones imo and the effects of insight. I don’t actually have anything to back this outside of speculation I just think it’s very funny. Endless loop of copying homework. Micolash has more insight naturally, Laurence uses this to learn of the ritual, Laurence does his ritual, Micolash copies his ritual. No credit in sight.
-Micolash has an interesting line of cut dialogue where he claims he “was the head…of this treatment church”. I don’t have the original Japanese text, but I wonder if perhaps Micolash was meant to be an NPC, still fulfilling his role as both the headmaster of Mensis AND the main scholar overlooking all scientific and arcane research on behalf of the Healing Church? If he was the head of the healing church, did an earlier version have Laurence fulfilling his theorized role as a re-incarnated hunter?
-Micolash’s ritual, which I gather(and this is where my knowledge is the most shaky so BEAR WITH ME) summoned the blood moon, seems to be a direct copy of Laurence’s ritual to summon Flora. Whereas Flora took Gehrman as a host, Mergo took either Micolash as a host, or sacrificed the rest of the school in his place. Keep in mind: The Moon rune(found at the bottom of the stairs in Micolash’s boss arena, also eerily similar to the Communion Rune that I imagine would be a big hit with Laurence) DIRECTLY states that the Great Ones are sympathetic in spirit, and answer when called upon. I don’t think Mergo nor Flora are intentionally malicious. I just think these two idiots didn’t know what they were bargaining for, or with. Fellas is it gay if we both change the sky, both sacrifice something we didn’t necessarily mean to, and both suffer in the Nightmare for our sins? Asking for a friend.
-Micolash’s first move is running away from you, Laurence’s first move is to lunge directly at you. Ah, they would have made such a horrendously destructive pairing if the divorce hadn’t happened.
-bonus note!! I have ANOTHER crack theory that the “Moon” and “Communion” Runes have some neat parallels :smear:
Moon Rune is blood red like Micolash’s blood moon, Communion is pale white like Laurence’s pale moon. Moon allows for more blood echoes, Communion for more vials. Moon focuses on the Great Ones answering when called, Communion focuses on Blood Ministration. Moon has the eye in the center surrounded by lines, almost forming another circle(perhaps, and this is a stretch, even the dias that the catalyst is meant to be at the center of?), Communion is surrounded by 3 distinct dots(Laurence, Gehrman, and…Flora? Still not certain who the 3rd dot would be). Reading runes is fun! “Beast’s Embrace” may be closer to Laurence as a character(I mean, you obtain it from him) but since Micolash has no rune to drop as a counterpart(probably because he isn’t a DLC boss), I went with striking parallels between Communion and Moon instead.
-Fellas. Final question. Is it gay if my mild interest in that which lies beyond humanity (POSSIBLY) turns into a rapid obsession/a race against time to save you from yourself and reverse the effects of this poison you so adore, only to realize you won’t hear me, you will never hear me, and it is too late for both of us to turn back? Just wondering. JUST. WONDERING. Maybe trying to stop the other’s descent got too frustrating, Micolash and Laurence both sort of strike me as stubborn pricks in their own ways. Hence the big divorce. “If you won’t see things my way then you can sit with the consequences” (said both of them, equally suffering from consequences). I can only imagine Micolash did not expect for Laurence to prove him right so soon. (It’s funny, because they’re both dead, so really neither was right.)
**(Also I just like relating my headcanons back to canon for fun, I’m not trying to say how ‘canon’ something is should influence how people make hcs. Bloodborne’s not a very romantic game in a traditional sense so this is all mostly me rambling around anyway x,D)
OKAY SORRY IM FINALLY DONE. HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYBODY. I THINK THEY HELD HANDS MAYBE. I also think they would actually literally maul each other to death if given enough reason.
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hardly-an-escape · 1 year
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Tom Sturridge is attractive in a way that makes me question reality, Ferdinand Kingsley is attractive in a way that makes me smoosh my own face, hope this helps
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Long and personal post, im just being emotional about Star Trek, don’t mind me
Watching Star Trek made me and my Father’s relationship even better because not only can he share more of his interests with me but we use ST metaphors when having communication issues and it really helps.
Being Autistic myself, and my father being Autistic and ADHD, him being diagnosed with ADHD at 43 and still not a solid Autism diagnosis and me with my diagnosis in high school… well it’s difficult to connect sometimes because we have vastly different assumptions regarding human behavior.
As far back as I can remember, my father distanced himself from humanity, separated how others act and how he acts. He tried to instill the same mindset in me (now I know it was his way of coping/masking), the idea that we are separate. We think better, we are more intelligent than the average person, we understand the wider scene of things and moral applications more.
A week or so ago, when he was having one of his “my body is different than humans, I don’t need xyz emotionally” moments, I compared him to Spock. He paused, thought it out, and agreed with me.
Yesterday, he confided in me that he feels like ‘Spock, if Spock was born on Earth’ and I understood more of what my father has been going through than I have ever before.
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[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] ⭐️ 10 ⭐️ [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16]
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Know the difference
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Misogyny = bad
Misandry = bad
Radical feminism ≠ true feminism
True feminism = good
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puppy-pill · 1 month
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Manatsu - so you came from the ocean?
Laura - yes
Manatsu - that means you have met with SpongeBob in person?!
Laura - ... wait what?
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sadiecoocoo · 5 months
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Rick & Morty fanfiction - SEAL Shenanigans
Relationships - Rick Sanchez & Morty Smith, Morty Smith/Evil Morty, Morty Smith & Summer Smith
Characters - Morty Smith, Rick Sanchez, Evil Morty, Other Ricks, Other Mortys, SEAL team Ricks, (mentioned) Summer Smith, (mentioned) Beth Smith, (mentioned) Jerry Smith
Warnings & tags - graphic depictions of violence, depressed morty smith, morty smith needs a hug, hurt morty smith, grandpa Rick Sanchez, Episode: s05e10 Rickmurai Jack, sort of, protective Rick Sanchez, jealous Rick Sanchez, no incest, platonic relationships, whump, no beta we die like Prime, out of character, but not horribly so, tags are hard, tags may change, suicide attempt
Summary - Rick abandoned Morty for two pea-brained birds. How is the 14-year-old supposed to cope? He chooses to go to the citadel and join the SEAL team to get his anger out on monsters and gromflomites. He's learned the lay of the land fairly well, but things get confusing when a mysterious, yet somehow familiar, Rick shows up and starts being nice to him.
He's seen countless Ricks not give a shit about whatever Morty they happen to use as a human shield for bullets and blades, so why is this Rick different?
(inspired by RustyChainSnorter's fic, Weird Rick. I highly suggest you go check it out!)
Chapters - 12/?
Current word count - 48,981
Link -
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bee8467 · 25 days
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Cw self harm!!!! God this scene man. I drew it with my cat siffren design
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lyman-garfiel · 1 day
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if you sexualize scarab in a way that overly softens and feminizes his features and makes him look like an entireley different charecter because you stripped away evreything weird and compelling just to draw your pwish yaoi with your whitewashed and equally hornywashed prismo design i genuinley want to break evrey finger in your hand so you can never fucking defile my blorbo like that again.
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the-n3w3st-g1rl-g1rl · 7 months
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I'm realizing that the fact that Rudy and Noelle call Kris "Krismas" implies that Christmas is still a thing in Deltarune's universe. Like, it's not called something else or anything. So even though their religion centres on an Angel, I guess Jesus is still part of at least a religion in their world idk I'm tired
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